#I wonder if anyone else knew this already and probably solved it

[lacunasweven]

So i was going through a few pics I used for a lil theory of mine and...

( this is slowed down )

DID YOU SEE THAT.

Gonna save u all from the trouble of pausing here u go:

have fun with these, dearest drdt theorists.

4/16/2023: Left one with letters is probably:

its all your fault.

4/28/2023: hi! Sorry for a very late update,,, but looks like its solved now! (ithink.) Please check basil-tbh 's reblog :D

[themindofachronicdaydreamer]

The Cat Distribution System

fluffy fluff fluff plot: you find a stray kitten and bring it home to Gojo content: alludes to smut, cats, mentions of violence (curses), established relationship, reader referred to as girlfriend word count: 3.1k satoru gojo x reader note: thank you for readingggg :) this is my first so be patient with me. it is purely self indulgent & I am still learning and trying to improve! not proofread super thoroughly so sorry for mistakes! love you <3

Of anything in the world, Gojo was certain he was cats were your favorite. 

This might be able to explain why you start smiling at your phone every time there’s a cat on it. 

This may explain your constant stream of texts to him of pictures of the most adorable cats from the internet or funny TikToks starring kittens being absolutely hilarious. 

It could explain why you constantly dragged him to places that have cats, whether it be a pet shelter or a newly popular cat cafe in the area. 

This might explain why you absolutely broke down when seeing a stray little kitten crying in an alleyway of Tokyo. 

It may explain how, in the middle of a mission, you dropped everything to go to the nearest convenience store, bought a bulk-sized pack of churu sticks to feed the lonesome kitten, and gave it all the pets it ever wanted. 

That also may explain why you just arrived back home earlier than expected - but with a cat. 

Walking into the door of yours and Gojo’s shared apartment, you shout, “I’m home!”

Gojo, who is sitting on the couch watching an old movie while eating a bag of gummy worms, is confused. It was his day off and he had been bored all day, not having you or anyone else available to bother relentlessly for his own entertainment. He had gone for a walk, tried a new restaurant, and came back home just as bored and with many more sweets. He could always sense your specific cursed energy from afar, so he knew you were nearing him before you even reached the door. While he’s in no way complaining about having more time with you, he’s still curious as to what cut the mission short. Before he could vocalize his question, you continue on. 

“Satoru! Where are you? You’ll never guess what happened. You’re a dad now!” You excitedly wonder aloud, knowing he’s home and that will catch his attention if you hadn’t already. 

Gojo is immediately confused. His mind runs a through a long list of possibilities to solve what riddle you just set in front of him. A dad? Yeah, you two may practice creating kids every now and then, but he was certain you weren’t pregnant the past nine whole months. He would know that, right? Wouldn’t it be noticeable? Not in a bad way, just in the nature of growing a human in you and the way your body would adjust to that. He’s sure you would tell him you were pregnant though, or that he would figure it out before eventual labor. Well, he knows you would tell him. You definitely would. You’ve talked about that before. So what isn’t he getting here?

“Sweetheart?” Gojo calls for you while quickly standing up and making his way toward the hallway at the entrance. He stops not too far from the couch when he hears a little squeak. 

Was that… a meow?

He doesn’t have time to think through the noise as you exit the hall and turn the corner toward him. A tiny fur ball is cradled in your arms, eyes wide in curiosity of its new surroundings. Immediately, any question in Gojo's mind was answered.

“Meet Suki!” Your face lights up as you move your arms toward your boyfriend, displaying the cat the best you can. Gojo smiles widely as he looks at your new little bundle of joy - a likely malnourished tiny kitten with a goopy right eye, dirty fur, and potentially (probably) fleas. Immediately he starts fawning over it. 

“Awwwwwwwwwe!“ Gojo said coos as he tilts his head and forms grabby hands reaching toward you and the kitten. With the sudden movement, the claws of the kitten dig into your skin a bit out of fear. She looks up at you, pupils dilated, seemingly asking for help. 

“Saturo, be slow and gentle with her, please! She’s a little nervous still,” you explain to him. The kitten was found alone and while she was not feral, it was obvious she had not had much interaction with people. Plus, when you stumbled on her, you were mid-fight. While the chances of her being able to see the curses are quite low, it felt like she could sense the tension in the surrounding atmosphere as she was cowering behind a dumpster, only coming out when she smelled the delicious churu you had in your hand.

“I’m sorry, baby. She’s just so cute!” Gojo exclaims, causing you to giggle and nod your head in agreement.

Gojo slowly and ever-so carefully reaches his hand toward Suki to allow the cat to sniff him. She recoils a bit, untrusting of the stranger. After thinking about it for a second, Suki sniffs Gojo’s hand, looking quizzically at his snowy white hair. She then turns and snuggles back into you and away from Gojo. He freezes in his position, mouth slightly agape due to the rejection. A small huh? escapes him. 

“I think she’s exhausted. She had a long day. Maybe she’ll be more comfortable after a nap,” you explain after seeing Gojo develop a pout from the rejection. You figured she was still sensitive to new people and was already tired, so you didn’t want to push her more than you already had when trying to feed her earlier. “I bought some stuff at a convenience store and stuffed it in my purse to take care of her before taking her to the vet tomorrow, so I’m gonna go run her a bath.” 

“Wait, wait!" Satoru exclaimed. He was already beginning to miss your attention being solely on him, so he prolonged talking to you and you leaving him to bathe the cat. "Let me guess - you were fighting, saw her, quickly ended the fight because you were only entertaining them to cure your boredom as the typical sorcerer does, helped her, and now you’re here?” Gojo guesses, causing you to gasp and shake your head no.

“No! That is absolutely not what happened. I saw her, immediately exorcized the curses, got her some food, and then I called Nanami to take over for me because of a ‘family emergency’,” you said while using finger quotes. You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance as you continued, exasperated, “I wasn’t done with my mission, but I wouldn’t just leave it unfinished, Satoru! What kind of sorcerer do you think I am?” 

“Sorry, princess,” Satoru responds as he shakes his head with a chuckle. He watches as you lovingly look at the creature in your arms, mesmerized by the shape of your jaw and the soft smile on your lips. He gives your hair a quick tousle before continuing, “You’re m’favorite sorcerer. The best one out there. Other than me, of course.”

You look up at him, a faint blush spreading across your features. You gave him a disapproving look for his last comment, but the hue of your cheeks gave away the fact that you still get flustered when he compliments you. You gently push on the tips of your toes, lifting yourself up enough to lean toward your boyfriend. After a chaste kiss on his cheek, you hear a meow from your arms. Looking at the kitten, she repeats the same little sound. 

“What, you jealous?” Satoru teases the animal. “You want her attention? Can’t stand to spare a second for a kiss on my cheek?”

You let out a laugh as Suki gives Gojo what you would consider a dirty look. He picks up on it too, clicking his tongue at the kitten and again turning his attention to you. “Friendly, isn’t she?” he states, sticking his tongue out at Suki. 

“Right now, she's shy and nervous,” you answered, heading toward the guest bedroom in the apartment. You knew that at this rate if you did not leave now, you would never be giving her a bath. “I’m gonna use the guest bath.”

“Do you need help?” Gojo asked. He followed behind you, a puppy craving the attention of its owner.

“Actually, yeah. Look, I know it’s late and that this is a big ask, but I didn’t have the hands to get her more food and essentials. Can you go out for me and get some things? I’ll send you a list,” you give him pleading eyes you know never fail to make his knees weak and heart flutter. You wanted to grab these things before, but you could not bring yourself to leave the kitten alone for a second longer than she already had been for who knows how long. You were going to go later that night so as to not bother Satoru - but since he offered and you are a little tired, why not have him do it for you? A quick run to the pet store for some scratching boards, dry food, wet food, and other basics wouldn’t be the worst you’ve ever asked of him. 

“Yeah, honey, of course. Text me the list, yeah? I’ll get going now,” Satoru, your savior in flesh and bone, agrees as he flashes you a big, toothy smile, then moves to grab his keys.

“Thank you, Toru,” you say as you cuddle the kitten closer. 

Satoru smiles at the sight he knows he is going to grow to love; you looking at the kitten like she is your entire world, while he looks at you knowing you are his.

"Anything for you. I love you," Satoru says as he walks around to hug you from behind and not disturb Suki. He presses a kiss to your head, you melting into his touch.

"Alright, let me give her a bath! Stop stalling me," you say. Satoru releases you from his grasp. You turn to face him to see his face has a pout once again.

"Gimme a kiss before I go, please?" He says, then puckers his lips and leans forward.

"You're a dork," you say, but continue to lean in and kiss him. "But I love you too."

------

With Suki now bathed to the best of your ability and eating another churu stick while in a big fluffy blanket, you are beginning to wonder what is taking your boyfriend so long. The pet store is not a far walk and is an even closer drive, yet you finished the bath about an hour and a half ago.

Just on cue, you hear the front door open after a slight struggle. Suki's ears perk up, but she is too tired and invested in eating the churu that she does not even bother to glance in the direction.

You hear quick footsteps until Gojo appears from the hallway. With a big box under one arm and a couple tote bags full of things that you can't quite tell what they are, he stumbles into the kitchen. He quickly sets everything down, giving you a better sight of what all he has. You see the big box was a cat tree, and in the bags is a variety of canned food, wet food, treats, toys, tunnels, collars, more treats, multiple automatic food and water bowl sets, and a couple of outfits. This is why you never send Gojo on errands.

"Satoru, you bought way too much!" you say. You motion to the bags of stuff he put down as he walks toward you with an innocent smile on his face.

"I actually think I didn't buy enough. I figured you would want a say in some things though, so I held off. A little bit," the man in question responds. He then pulls out a little box of icing covered treats with sprinkles on them. "I even got her sweets!"

Suki - coincidentally - now decides to acknowledge her new father's presence, meowing at him from across the room in her blanket. Gojo looks over and coos as he walks over to her.

"Hi sweet girl, did you have a scary day? Do you want some delicious treats to celebrate you coming home today?" He opens the box toward the kitten, who stares at it, sniffing the aroma she finds so enticing. She then walks forward, rubs her head against the hand holding the box, and meows again. Gojo giggles as he takes the treat out of the container to help the cat.

Your heart feels like it is about to burst. Watching the two interact brings you so much joy, and with how welcoming Gojo has been ever since you spurred this on him, you could not be more excited. He takes his phone out of his pocket and takes a billion pictures of the new addition to the family.

"Tell me everything, baby. How'd you find her? How was the mission? I'm sure Nanami is pissed," Gojo says to you after he puts his phone away.

You had wanted a cat for a while, but it never seemed like the right time. With you and Gojo being jujutsu sorcerers, you had been worried about leaving a new cat alone for an extended period of time or not being able to come home to it. You had considered it once you and Gojo finally moved in, but life never seemed to give you a break, and here you are now.

Still, you did not yield even a single hesitation about leaving this kitten behind. The second you saw her, you were hers.

"Mission was easy, just annoying. Found her behind a dumpster in an alley. Nanami was only slightly irritated. I told him that it's just the cat distribution system, and that no one could deny fate," you shrug your shoulders.

"Oh yeah, like those videos you send me? Where cats just choose their new owner?" Gojo says, causing you to smile.

"You actually watch all of those?" You questioned.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" he says, appearing genuinely confused.

"Dunno, I just send them a lot. But yeah, you're right. The second I saw her, I had a feeling," you elaborated. "She was mine!"

Satoru thinks to the first time he saw you back at Jujutsu High on the first day there. He remembers every detail: how you did your hair that day (two braids with black bows at the ends of them), who you were with (Shoko, a childhood best friend of yours), the way you laughed (a cute little laugh, throwing your head back at Shoko's joke). He remembers time moving so slowly, he felt like he was staring at you for hours. Suguru Geto, his new friend, stared at Gojo's frozen features and sighed, waving Shoko, another new friend, over.

Gojo can recall clear as day how your hair framed your face, your eyes stared into his icey ones hidden by black shades, and how you introduced yourself to him.

He knew then that you were different. He knew you were going to be in his life for a while. You were his, and he was yours. He just had a feeling.

Who knew that one day comparing his love for you to your love for your new kitten you found, mid-fight and in a dark, Tokyo alley?

He just can't contain his giddiness toward you anymore. You were so cute, so soft, and so sweet. He wanted to dote on you and shower you in all of the love he could.

"God, baby. You are the cutest thing I have ever seen!" He exclaims as he pinches your cheeks.

"Stop, Toru," you wave him off. "I thought we were talking about Suki?"

"You were. You just distract me," he says, a hand coming up to stroke your cheek. He leaned in and placed a kiss on your forehead. "How could you not when you look so adorable?"

A little meow echoes throughout the room.

"Do not flirt with me in front of our child! She is clearly uncomfortable," You jokingly tease your beloved boyfriend.

Gojo glares at Suki, who is still eating her treats, content with her new life of luxury.

"Ugh. Way to cockblock, Suki," Saturo groans as he flashes the innocent kitten the finger

"First of many," You add, smiling. You swat at his outstretched hand, grabbing it and pulling it into you. You smile up at him, pulling his blindfold up so you can see his eyes, and giving him a loving kiss. "I love you, Toru."

"I love you more, cutie."

As much as you cats are your favorite of anything in the world, you know it is impossible to love anything more than you love Satoru Gojo. As you stare into his eyes, you know he knows that too.

Cats are a very near second place, though.

Bonus

Your phone rings with a familiar ringtone. You look down to see Megumi's contact staring back at you and press answer, lifting the phone to your ear.

Before you could even say hello, you hear, "Now why the hell did you get a cat?"

"Hello to you, too, Megumi. My day has been great, thanks!" You tease. "Yeah, yeah. Now why?"

"How do you even know? I was gonna tell you next time I saw you," you ponder, already having an idea of the answer to your question.

"Gojo posted it everywhere already. Every story. Every single one," Megumi confirmed your suspicions. "Answer my question, please? I am not the most fond of those things."

"It's the cat distribution system," Megumi hears another voice in the background say.

"The what?"

Suddenly, the phone is lifted from your hands, your boyfriend having replaced you in speaking to Megumi. "Hey, Gumi!"

"Gojo? I said not to call me that," Megumi groans, although you know he doesn't really mind the nickname.

"The cat distribution system is a phenomenon where stray cats choose a random owner, and the new owner must take care of the cat because simply, the cat decides it will!" Gojo explains. "Isn't that cool? My Suki-bear was all alone and my lovely girlfriend here brought her to the safety of our humble abode."

Megumi is silent for a moment before huffing, "There is no way you actually believe that."

A mischievous smirk appears on Gojo's face as he says "Megumi, are you afraid of cats?"

Megumi began stuttering nonstop as he said, "N-No, I... I just... I don't like them. Um. I... I'm allergic?" Gojo laughs at this response, causing Megumi to scoff. "Whatever."

The line goes silent, and Gojo hands you the phone. He looks at your irritated expression with an unwavering smile.

Before you could say anything, a little meow is heard, causing Gojo to laugh before saying, "Right, Suki? What a loser! Who wouldn't love you?"

-----

the ending isnt my fave but i hope you enjoyeeddddd thank you for reading all this way ilyyyyyy

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

📖🔧😢🩹🥰

I am literally binge reading all of your DD works and I just have to thank you for your absolutely incredible writing! 😭🙌

There are very few fics of Lonny out there, so is there anyway we could see how he’d react to seeing the person he’s had a crush on (reader) having witnessed what he did to Bud? Like I just want to hug him and tell him it’s okay and that it was an accident. Little baby didn’t mean to! 🥺

Forced Limitations - Lonny Crane/Reader

Warnings: No use of Y/N, gender-neutral reader, canon rewrite (the first half hour for now), lots of panic, canon violence, character death (Buddy 🥺), co-workers to friends to ride or dies, angst, hurt/comfort, mutual crushes, this one is heavy but if you've seen the movie you'll expect it.

Wordcount: 9486

Summary: Today was supposed to be such a normal day. You were even going to maybe talk to your crush this time if he didn't say anything first. So why were you now hiding in the basement of your work while you crush stared you down with a bloodied wrench in his shaking hand and fear in his eyes?

Notes: My first Lonny! Thank you so much for reading first of all 💗💗💗 it's because of you guys and your wonderful support for my writing that I'm enjoying these as much as I am! As requested this is an au of the movie down to the dialogue (forever grateful to mediarips with subs included hehe), get that lady outta here I hate her, but because I left this open-ended I might just have to write a part 2 if I can figure out a way for them to both escape 😏 For now I hope you like this, he really didn't mean to and this has been weighing on me since I saw the movie /)o(\

Today was just supposed to be another normal, boring day at work. 

You didn't have much going on, nothing penciled into your calendar on your apartment wall, no reminders in your phone, in fact it was probably the most normal your day could get. You left on time, grabbed yourself a coffee and a box of donuts to share with everyone you worked next to, and of course didn't forget the separate Boston Creme just for the cute handyman who smiled at you whenever you caught him staring. You blushed already thinking about him, neither of you had really talked, but you knew he was a sweet guy just based on your minimal interactions with him outside of your donut drop off. 

He wasn't very social, he stuck to his partner's side like glue for the most part, and Bud was also a good guy, extremely knowledgeable and able to solve any problem you guys brought to him before any of you could even figure out what was actually wrong, but sometimes you wished you could just have a conversation with Alonso by himself, get to know him a little better. You'd been trying for days now that you knew he preferred the Boston Creme, a popular donut in your group that tended to get snatched up fast from the random assortment you were always gifted. 

You’d been getting the baker's dozen with his as the 13th was your attempted way to start something, but so far he'd just noticed that his donut was there and unsnatched, sent Bud over to grab it before anyone else did, and then wandered off to eat it somewhere he wouldn't make a mess for anyone to step on, like the cafeteria on the ground floor. 

You wouldn't let that happen today you decided as you pulled into the line to get into work, security giving everyone a random check today for some reason to make sure they all worked there. That was odd, but you'd heard whispers that they were thinking of upping security around here anyway, something about attempted break-ins, so you just got your ID ready, popped the trunk when they asked, and kept on driving until you found a place to park. You gave a wave to Bud when you saw him head for the door, Alonso not with him as usual; he always came early before the rush, you could only guess the swarm of people made him uncomfortable, and you had to admit he had the right idea as everyone shuffled towards the door.

‘Weird about those men, isn’t it?’ you asked him as you flashed your IDs again to get inside, one card after the other to allow you entrance. ‘I mean, I get the extra security, but they looked like they were searching for something.’

‘Poor Lonny must’ve had a hard time with them, he’s always here as soon as the lights come on,’ Bud figured, the two of you walking through the lobby until he started to veer away towards the elevators. His place was in the basement, their own special break room down there while they monitored everything whenever something didn’t need to be looked at, and you pursed your lips with a glance down at the box in your arms before chasing after him.

‘Hey! Hey, uh, I was wondering if maybe you could… escourt me down to the break room today, maybe leave this for Alonso if he’s running late?’ you suggested nervously, no one other than those two usually going down there, but the other man just looked you over a moment but chuckling to himself like he’d just realized something.

‘Ha, imagine that; c’mon, gotta get you to your desk before Bossman notices you’re down there,’ he told you before leading the way, and as payment for his tour he grabbed his own donut first on the way down. ‘Never come down here without either of us, this place is a real maze with a ton of hazards, and also be sure to watch your head, you never know what’s gunna hit you until it’s too late,’ he warned as the elevator came to a stop, and you closed the lid of your coffee a little tighter before following him out. 

‘You know I’ve never been down here before, not even when I started,’ you told him as you walked, your eyes taking in everything and nearly allowing you to bump your head just as he knew you would, his hand coming out to protect your forehead before you knocked it off a low-hanging series of pipes.

‘Don’t think many of the people upstairs have, it’s mostly just me and Lonny and the occasional fill-in whenever we call out, that’s not often though, Lonny’s a very hard worker, y’know.’ You were too busy ducking to notice the glance he gave you when he was done speaking, the place indeed a maze as he led you right to the middle where their solitary room to themselves was hidden; inside was a small kitchen against the left wall, a table with two chairs against the right wall, the others folded up nearby since they were unneeded, and four lockers tucked against the far right corner. 

Only two of them had names, the company had only needed them once it became clear that they made a great team and rendered more help unnecessary, and Alonso was indeed in as he sat at the table and ate a bowl of cereal. He looked up when he heard Bud arrive, and he was in the middle of a hello and a wave when you walked into his view; instantly his eyes went wide and his cheeks flushed, and you watched as he turned away from you and tried to swallow the mouthful of cereal he was now choking on a little. You’d surprised him, that much was obvious, but it was blush that had you freezing as your own heated your face right up despite the chill of the room.

‘Well, now that I’m clocked in I’d better check out that problem from yesterday, y’know the one, way up on the 6th floor, you can handle things down here for a bit, right?’ Bud told Alonso as he quickly grabbed his orange uniform and started pulling it on, the other man fumbling his words and dropping his spoon when he received an encouraging rub to the back of his head that messed up his long hair. 

‘Bud!’ he yelped as his desperate cry to not be left alone, and then it was just the two of you, very much alone while his cereal turned to mush. ‘Uh… hi,’ he said after a while, his hands hurriedly straightening his hair back down so he wouldn’t look a mess, and you could only murmur the same before you realized the burning in your palm was actually because of your coffee.

‘Shit, ow, can I set this down?’ you asked him quickly as you rushed for the table, and he nodded as he cleared a space for you, the rest of the table covered in old newspapers and magazines to read so they could pass the time on slow days. ‘Thanks, I uh, I wanted to make sure you got this, you know how the others are,’ you stuttered nervously, his chosen donut thankfully avoiding being crushed by your worried hands only because it was set safely on top of the large box.

‘Oh, thank you,’ he stuttered right back, this was the most he’d ever said to you since you’d started working there, Bud usually doing all the talking for him while he just listened. His eyes lit up when he saw that you’d gotten his favourite and it made your smile grow wide, your hands shaking a little less as he carefully peeled back the paper from the bag in order to save the chocolate on top. ‘I love these ones, growing up it was always the first picked by my siblings, so… I’m glad you keep bringing them to work, I always get here before that place opens,’ he shared with you before taking a bite, and you felt your heart skip a beat at the simple joy of tasting something delicious spread across his face.

‘I didn’t know you had siblings,’ you said as you took the remaining seat, your coffee reopened and your own donut chosen while you took a sip, and he looked at the door before sitting with you, your chairs so close together that your knees touched before he moved away. This was now the closest you’d ever been as well, and you realized you’d much rather risk being late in order to hear more than head upstairs and start working.

‘Four of them, I’m the youngest,’ he told you between bites, his cereal forgotten as he licked cream and chocolate off of his fingers a moment before going to the sink and washing his hands with a bit of embarrassment. ‘You- you’d think growing up in a family that big I’d be able to talk to people better, right?’

You took a bite of your own donut before shaking your head, and he seemed surprised by your answer as he sat back down again. ‘Family is different, sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers than your own flesh and blood,’ you thought aloud, and he listened intently in genuine interest. ‘But, you don’t have to be afraid of talking to me, I don’t bite…’ Your face lit up and you distracted yourself with more coffee at your choice of words, but he didn’t have the same problem as you as he tucked his hair behind his ear and really thought it over.

‘I- I’ve been trying to, actually,’ he muttered almost to himself, and you set your cup down to listen this time, ‘but every time I see you you’re always surrounded by people.’

You thought to yourself a moment before opening the box again and offering him a second donut, and Alonso looked between them and you before picking another and starting on it. ‘Well, guess I’ll have to stop by here every morning then, so we can talk,’ you offered, and he seemed genuinely happy about it as he flashed you a nervous but hopeful smile. You were smiling back when your phone went off, one of your cubiclemates was asking about her donuts, and you swore to yourself when you saw the time. ‘I’m late, I gotta run back up, but it was really nice talking to you, Alonso.’

‘Lonny,’ he said as he stood, and he towered over you as he handed you the box, ‘you can call me Lonny, everyone else does.’

‘Alright, then it was nice to officially meet you, Lonny.’ His smile was so infectious and wide that it made you wonder why it’d taken you so long to do this, and by the time you reached your floor you were practically twitterpated to no one’s surprise.

‘Finally talked to Tall, Cute, and Silent?’ your friend asked with a knowing smirk, and you made a face back at her as you presented everyone with the treats that were left. They devoured them like animals until only the crumbs were left as usual, and as you tossed out the box you found yourself already planning on maybe inviting him out for lunch today if he was interested. As such, you didn’t pay much attention to your work, just tapping out slowly over the keys while you took in no information, and when the speakers you didn’t even know were above you suddenly crackled to life it actually made you jump you were so distracted.

‘All employees, no matter what you’re doing, please stop and lend me your full attention,’ the announcement began, everyone around you having the same reaction of, ‘What’s going on?’ ‘There are currently 80 of you in the building. In eight hours, most of you will be dead.’

Your blood ran cold, this had to be some kind of joke, but when you looked around you saw that no one was laughing.

‘Your chance of survival increases by following my orders, and excelling at the tasks I place before you,’ the speaker continued, his voice surprisingly calm and almost a bit excited at what he was saying, and you started to feel sick at the thought that this was real, he was completely serious, and that was why security had been so tight when you’d arrived. ‘Your first task is simply this: Murder any two of your fellow employees within the next half hour.’

You spilled your coffee, the dark liquid spreading over your desk and onto the floor, but no one cared between those who were listening and those who’d already decided that this really had to be a joke.

‘How they are killed, or how they are chosen to be killed, is of no consequence. But if there are not two dead bodies in the building within 30 minutes, you will face repercussions.’

‘This isn’t real, right?’ you asked your friend, her face calm but you could see it in her eyes, that doubt that was taking hold of you. ‘I mean, they aren’t really asking us to kill each other, are they?’

‘It’s all bullshit, probably some test to weed out the bad employees, you know there’s a few on the 5th floor who could stand a good kick in the pants,’ she said dismissively, but when she waved her hand you didn’t miss the way it shook.

‘Still, I don’t like this, I’m gunna- I’m just gunna take a walk, see what the others are saying.’ You stood when the voice never returned, stepping through your coffee and leaving tracks of it after you as you headed for the elevator, the basement button staring at you as the urge to press it and see what Bud had to say about all this hit you like a truck; he was a smart guy, and Al- Lonny would be there too, if he wasn't afraid and didn’t believe it then that would be enough for you. You hit the lobby button instead and tried to breathe when the entire building shook, a series of rumbles making the cables shake just enough to scare you. Your hands splayed over the walls to brace yourself until it was over, and when you reached your destination you found not only a gathering already there, but also the cause of the quake.

The front doors as well as the windows were now covered up with what looked like a blast shield, something that was supposed to be for protection now trapping you all inside. Your panic rose even higher, the familiar faces of your co-workers now warped into confusion and worry, a few of them even attempting to break the walls down to get free but to no avail. You started to shake when the elevator beside you dinged, and the relief that washed over you when you saw Bud and then Lonny exit was so strong that it nearly knocked out your legs from under you.

You followed after them as they spoke with someone from one of the floors higher than yours, Mike; he was a nice guy, there was nothing bad you could say about him, but he was serious now as everyone gathered around to whisper, your hand hovering just over Lonny’s back as he concentrated and didn’t even notice you. ‘What d’you think, Mikey? What’s this all about?’ Bud asked him while they stared what was supposed to be the front doors down.

‘I don’t know. You think you got a way to get through it?’ Mike wondered, tensions rising as your superiors tried to take charge and calm everything down in the distance.

‘Blowtorch could do the job, but I don’t know how thick it is,’ Bud offered up, already calculating what needed to be done based on all his years on the job. ‘It could take a while.’

‘What if we try cutting through one of the walls first?’ Mike suggested, his eyes moving to the normal concrete instead. ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to try and get through cement than get through whatever that is?’

Bud shook his head, repeating just the word no to himself with such certainty that it made you finally latch on, and Lonny jumped and turned to see you behind him. You looked up at him, unable to force a comforting smile when you saw his eyes, so he made one for you, his hand over your shoulders and rubbing your arm before he turned back to Bud, he’d have a plan. ‘This metal surrounds the entire building,’ he told them, the other man with you speaking up next.

‘So the whole building’s covered?’ he asked only for Bud to unfortunately confirm it, there was no knocking down a wall and escaping without getting through that metal first.

‘It’s worth a shot, though, right? The blowtorch?’ Mike confirmed before they could lose hope, Lonny glancing down at you and holding you a little tighter.

‘It’s worth a try,’ he agreed with a nod, and you weren’t sure if he was talking to Mike or to you when he said it. Bud then also noticed you were there when he went to pat Lonny on the back and smacked you instead, and he apologized before the two were walking away, your shoulders already hunching up without him there; you’d only just spoke that morning, which felt so long ago now, but you felt safe around him, if this was really happening then you could protect each other, and you went to follow when Bud noticed and held you back.

‘Easy now, just stay with the group, we’ll be back in a minute,’ he told you reassuringly, and you glanced over to Lonny before nodding and going to find your friends. Everyone had run to the lobby with the raising of the shield, and there was now no doubt between you all as you gathered in the corner and watched the others talk amongst themselves.

‘They’re gunna try and burn a hole through the door, see if we can get out that way,’ you whispered, not wanting to spread the plan in case it didn’t work, ‘they just went down to get the blowtorch, they’ll be right back.’

‘You gunna stick to your boytoy when he does?’ your friend joked so suddenly that you felt the need to reprimand her to for saying that first of all, but the second you looked at her you saw that she was just making jokes to hide the fact that she was fucking terrified. So you let it slide, your hand rubbing her shoulder just as Lonny had done to you.

‘I dunno, do you guys have any ideas?’ you asked them, each one shaking their heads.

‘I heard a few people went to the roof, we could try that,’ another suggested, but you didn’t like heights all that much to begin with, mixing that with the current situation might actually make you faint.

‘You can go, I’m gunna stay here, see how the door goes,’ you decided, and your small group split up just as your boss walked into the room along with the two men just below him; one of them was a real asshole, you didn’t bother with him, your focus on Mr. Norris as he spoke.

‘Hey, listen up, everybody, okay?’ he called out over the room, his voice echoing even louder thanks to the shield. ‘I’m Barry Norris, the COO here, for people who don’t know. Listen, I’m very aware that this is a very… hell, to say the least, a very strange situation here. But I don’t believe there’s any cause for panic, all right? We’re still trying to figure out exactly what the situation is, but I’m certain there’s a rational explanation. This is a government building. We think maybe somebody put precautions in place in case of a military event. Obviously these walls. Now, someone has clearly discovered this feature, and they’re having a little fun at our expense, okay? Whoever’s doing this, the object is to get all of you upset. So let’s not play into that, okay? Let’s just remain calm, chill out, and take a few minutes to figure out exactly what’s happening, okay? So, thank you. I’m gunna go work on that. And I'll circle back to you as soon as I can. Thanks, everybody.’

It made sense, it was a long speech but it did make sense, but there was a part of you that couldn’t forget the checkpoint this morning, how everyone had been searched so carefully… no, this felt planned, and when the elevator pinged you grabbed your friend and hurried right on over. There was no time to stop and chat, the men before you were on a mission, and you gave them space to work as they put on their protective gear and fired up the blowtorch.

You’d never seen one in real life, why would you ever need to before this? And the blue flame drew you in as Bud held it against the metal until an entire minute had passed. The two of you leaned in at the same time when they sat back and lifted their goggles to see what the damage was, Lonny using a cloth to wipe away the dark burns. You couldn’t hear what they were saying from there, but you knew it wasn't good when Lonny then touched it with his bare hand despite the heat of the flame. You held your friend a little tighter as Bud then did the same, this wasn't good, if not even a blowtorch could break through this stuff then what hope did you have of getting out even if this was just a cruel joke?

You let go of each other when you realized you were sweating, your comfy work shirt turning into something stifling at your closeness, and when you looked around and saw that everyone else was in a similar state you knew that this wasn't just nerves. ‘It’s too hot, they’re gunna suffocate us in here,’ your friend mumbled as she wiped off her forehead, the sweat starting to bead again the moment her hand moved away. ‘This is bullshit, why hasn’t anyone come for us yet? Screw this, I’m heading to the roof for some air, you coming?’

‘No, no you know I can’t go up that high,’ you said quickly before starting to head for Lonny, you needed to know what was happening before your anxiety started to take over again. She stopped you in your tracks, tried to pull you right back while they kept trying, her grip on you way too tight in this heat.

‘I think you need to get over that shit before you pass out down here, look around, look at everyone right now; it’s sweltering in here, I just saw Willy burn through three bottles of water by himself, so why don’t we grab a few, take the elevator, and get some fresh a-’

She never got to finish her sentence, the back of her neck exploding out and making her fall limp into your arms, the too tight grip she had on you now nonexistent as you stared down and screamed. Everyone turned towards you before it happened again, another person falling before someone shouted, ‘Somebody’s shooting!’ Everyone took cover from your attacker, your body frozen in fear until you felt more hands on you; Lonny grabbed you and pulled you over to the chairs where Bud was already ducking down, your friend falling from your arms and to the floor as you were forced to let go.

Pandemonium erupted all around you as you hit the floor hard, your back pressed to his chest and both him and Bud protecting you when you were still too numb to protect yourself. There were so many screams, no one knowing when they’d be shot next, but even when more people went down all you could do was stare at the lifeless eyes of the person you’d been working next to for the past 3 years. You felt cold despite the heat, Lonny’s panicked breathing right in your ear while you didn’t hold him back, and only when Mr. Norris, or Barry, now, there was no more chain of command after this, walked over to one of the bodies did everyone stop panicking long enough to feel confusion over his bravery at still standing.

‘What the hell?’ you heard Bud whisper above you when Mike ran over to join him, Barry’s voice loud enough for everyone to hear over the ringing silence.

‘That’s not a bullet wound.’

More of them gathered but the three of you stayed where you were, waiting to hear what was going on, but their voices were lower now, they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Bud leaned away from you a little to listen, but the moment he did Lonny started to panic, and you felt a bit of life come back to you as you weakly held his arm to let him know you were still there. Instantly he looked down and held you tighter, you were his lifeline now that the bullets had stopped flying, and when you looked back up at him you saw the way everyone was touching the backs of their necks out of the corner of your eye.

All at once you felt your hand raise to your own, your knuckles brushing against his shirt as you felt the scar under your fingertips, and the fear replaced everything numb inside you until it was all you knew.

Mike realized something and ran, Bud watching him go before getting up and silently asking the two of you to follow; you did, your fear only spreading to Lonny as you held each other, but Bud remained calm as he opened up his toolbox and reached inside. He pulled out a hammer and large wrench, and the former was heavy when he handed it to you and tried to get Lonny to look at him. He said his name and made him only hold you harder, it was starting to hurt, but you’d rather feel that than the cold wood and steel under your palms.

‘Hey, stop. Don’t cry, okay?’ Bud told the man behind you, and you looked up to see that he was so afraid he was actually crying, his hands trembling as they bunched up your shirt. ‘Take this, and say goodbye, alright?’ He pressed the wrench into Lonny’s hand the moment he was able to get him to let go of you, and it looked even heavier than your hammer as he held it before you. ‘Let them go, and follow me, we’re gunna fix this and I need you to watch my back.’

‘But…’ He didn’t want to leave you, and you honestly didn’t want to leave either of them after losing your friend, and Bud leaned in closer and lowered his voice even more as he met your eyes.

‘Find a place to hide, we’ll find you within the hour, don’t come out before then, you hear me?’ he told you sternly yet carefully, they’d be sitting ducks in the basement if people started actually killing each other as commanded despite the maze, and your safety needed to come first while they worked without worry. So you nodded, Lonny nuzzling into the side of your head with a whimper that any other day would’ve made your heart flutter, but now it could only break as Bud helped him let go. You stepped aside and watched as Bud wrapped his hands behind Lonny’s neck, kept eye contact until he was calming again, and when he asked for something called a duke Lonny just nodded before pressing his forehead to his friend’s.

That’s what made them such a good team, you knew Lonny to be a good worker but it was thanks to Bud being there to keep him level that he was able to shine here, and you hated Belko for ever hiring the both of them along with yourself now now that you knew what they were doing to them. Not everyone who worked there was great, even you weren’t a saint, but Lonny was pure, and you regretted every single morning where you’d only looked but never approached when he met your eye and turned away.

Bud went to lead the way back to the elevator, and you knew as soon as the doors closed that you couldn’t stay up here, not alone with this uncertainty. You watched your co-workers, all of them strangers to you now, run after Mike when shouts came down the hall, but you didn’t follow after them; you needed to hide, just like Bud said, and even if they might be sitting ducks that didn’t mean you had to be in that maze. You hit the button and took the elevator down, making sure to take the long way around to the break room and go from there. You knew something like hiding under the table or cramming yourself into one of the empty lockers wasn't really feasible, but there were a ton of other hiding places nearby it, maybe if you even hid well enough you’d be able to hear them from a safe distance away and get their attention if anything happened.

You kept your head on a swivel as you walked, made sure you wouldn’t bump into them and make them send you elsewhere where anyone could find you, and you were just about to loop around when you noticed a door that brought you even further in. You opened it, a long hallway ahead of you, and you decided on it as you jogged down and found a closed off spot to duck between. It was tight, but you were successfully hidden from view, and it gave you a good vantage point of anyone who might come across you as you curled up and held your hammer close to your chest. 

You’d gotten all of two seconds to strap in for the long haul when you heard the door open again, and you held your breath until you heard Lonny’s voice echo down the hallway: ‘They’re trying to freak us out by shutting down the air-co, man,’ he was telling Bud, and your moment of relief only slipped back into worry when it hit you that if anyone was bound to find you in here it’d be them if they stopped to look. ‘That’s their plan, right, Bud?’ A pause, Bud was silent as they walked, and that was only making him nervous again, you could hear it in his voice when he asked him for confirmation again. ‘Do you think it is, Bud? Do you think that’s their plan?’

‘I don’t know, Lonny,’ Bud said exasperatedly, he was letting his own panic show when he couldn’t give him a solid answer, and a pit landed hard in your stomach when they turned and stopped not 10 feet away from you. They started checking out the machine against the wall, which you soon realized was the air conditioning aka the thing that was currently not working and making everyone overheat in their own skins, of course you’d stop at the one place they needed to be, but it was fine. They were so distracted by it that you could continue hiding and then they wouldn’t have to worry about sending you out there again, so you remained silent and just listened while they tried to figure it out. 

Bud turned on a light and confirmed that it wasn't working right at the source, every breath you took sounding like thunder in your ears when you realized that if he turned then he’d be able to see you, your focus too much on the barrels to your side to protect yourself from that angle. ‘How can you tell?’ Lonny asked as he stood by, Bud crouching down to take a closer look.

‘I can hear it, man,’ he said with a grunt of effort as he sat. ‘The pilot’s off. Everything.’

Lonny looked around to make sure no one else was down there with you, like they’d only just done it and were waiting to make sure they couldn’t turn it back on again. ‘Did they do it?’ he nearly stuttered as he turned back to him, Bud still focused entirely on the large machine in front of him.

‘I don’t know if they did it or not,’ he admitted as he started to flip switches and peek inside with his flashlight, nothing happening as a result, ‘but, we’re gunna fix it.’ 

‘They’re trying to break us down so that we start killing each other, Bud.’ Lonny’s voice was low but you still heard his words, he had the same train of thought as you, and you nearly stood up so you could at least stay with them a while until Bud spoke again.

‘You just need to relax, all right?’ he told him comfortingly, he wouldn’t let him worry about that just as much as you wouldn’t have if you’d stood up right now and went to him, and you decided you’d do just that when the speakers whined to life again.

‘I hope by now we’ve demonstrated that we aren’t blindly bluffing,’ the man on the other end told everyone, and you felt your legs lock up to the point of it being painful just at the sound of his voice. ‘This game’s a real one. Each of you are deep inside it. You can choose to follow our directives, or not. Either way, you’ll be giving us the results we’re looking for.’ You shut your eyes and shook your head, your hammer not nearly as comforting to you as Lonny’s arms had been earlier, you needed to stand, you needed to go to him-  ‘You are mostly free to do as you please. However, you must not dismantle any more cameras. And you must not remove the tag from your body. Next time we will not provide a countdown as we did Mr. Milch.’

You started to pant at the thought of Mike being dead somewhere upstairs because he’d caught on to what was hiding beneath your scars, that must’ve been the cause of the yelling, you needed to get up-

‘If you break either of these rules, your life will abruptly end.’ You felt like stone as you helplessly watched Lonny start to cry, the threat of himself being next strong enough to make Bud stand and try to calm him again, but there was little he could do at this point. ‘There are currently 76 of you left in the building. The time is now 12:47PM. By 2:47PM, in two hours, we want 30 of you dead, through whatever means necessary.’ He started to panic harder, you could help, if you could just open your mouth and tell them you were there you could help- ‘If 30 of you are not dead, we will end 60 of your lives through our own methods. Begin.’

He was inconsolable, his hand on his head as he started to pace over the stranger’s words, and the only reason you weren’t currently doing the same was because as long as you knew the two before you were safe then you couldn’t give a fuck about the people upstairs killing each other anymore. You tried to move but your legs refused to listen, this was your moment to show him how you felt for him and help keep him safe, but every single part of you was buzzing, your head spinning as you repeated those words to yourself over and over instead; you couldn’t get out, you were all trapped inside while tensions rose, and if 30 people didn’t die in two hours then double that would be murdered instead, which made your chances of survival even slimmer. 

If you didn’t help him and then find a way to keep him safe, while also finding it in yourself to kill to protect him, then you would both die, that was a certainty. He was a nobody compared to everyone upstairs, and even then their lives were all weighed the same, what chance did he have going up against someone who fought tooth and nail to get to where they were when he couldn’t even approach you for a donut?

‘L-Lonny…’ you gasped out, your voice lost under his sobs while Bud tried to console him again.

‘Hey, hey, Lonny, it’s gunna be okay…’ he was saying, but the moment he tried to hold him again he lashed out, the wrench given to him to cover Bud now wielded as a weapon to keep himself safe.

‘Get back off me!’ he screamed in his panic, Bud giving him his space as the desperation in his voice made your foot start to tingle as the numbness faded away. ‘Don’t look at me like that, man,’ he pleaded, Bud silent all the while, he wasn't about to upset him while he was panicking this hard. You wiggled your toes until you could move your ankle, your whole foot rolling and kickstarting the rest of you back into action, just a little longer now- 

You let out a shriek when the fire alarm then went off, the sound startling you so hard that the numbness completely faded away from the pure shock to your system. This was good, you were moving again, but the sound was too much for Lonny, your smile of relief falling when you saw the way he was holding his ears. His panic attacks were so much more severe than yours, his anxiety loud and jumpy and raw while yours made you quiet and frozen, but you wouldn’t be still this time when he yelled out loud enough to block out the ringing.

‘What is that?’ he demanded as his pacing worsened, your legs slowly shifted underneath you while you started to rise.

‘Lonny, calm down, man! It’s just a fire alarm!’ Bud tried to tell him but it was of no use, his yelling over the noise was only aiding his own frustration, and your knees shook as you pushed yourself onto them, you were almost standing.

‘No, it’s not! They’re trying to make us kill each other,’ he sobbed desperately, the wrench waved around when he motioned towards Bud and himself.

‘Easy, cowboy,’ Bud kept trying, his eyes following Lonny as his pacing got even worse, and you moved yourself onto your feet at long last. ‘Chill out, man! Hey, come here-’

‘Get back!’

He swung on instinct, a defensive maneuver in his uncontrollable panic, and you felt yourself go numb again right as you got ready to stand; the sound of the impact was louder than the alarm, a sickening crack that made your stomach churn, and Bud crashed into the fence separating them from you as he reached for his head. He groaned as he tried to stand up straight, Lonny staring at him in a deathly calm fear as he silently mouthed his friend’s name.

‘Wait a second,’ Bud mumbled, his shoulder slumped and your mouth going dry when you couldn’t confirm where he was hit with his back to you like this. ‘What just happened? Hold on, uh… wait, wait. Something is happening.’ His voice started to grow soft as he slid down the fence, and when he fell you figured out you were crying when you blinked and felt a cascade of tears roll down your cheeks.

How did this happen? This morning everything was so normal, it was almost boring to you in its simplicity; you’d bought your crush a donut and actually spoke to him, you were planning on inviting him out to lunch even because you’d finally hit it off, how did that turn into this so fast? You couldn’t understand it at all, your attempts to console Lonny now too late as he fell to his knees and weakly crawled over to his friend to apologize. It fell on deaf ears though, even you could tell from behind when Bud stopped moving, the kind man who’d given you your hammer and helped make sure you were safe now gone as Lonny sobbed over him.

The alarm finally quieted as you both kneeled there, neither knowing what to do until he finally looked at Bud’s face, his eyes so sorrowful until you saw the way they looked to the right; he was staring directly at you, your hiding really hadn’t been good enough, and his sorrow turned back into terror when he saw the look on your face. Instantly he was on his feet and that forced you to move as well, he was panicking again because he knew you, you were his friend and you’d seen what he’d done, and now it was your words that went unheard as you held your hammer a little tighter and hurried out of your hiding place.

‘Stop!’ he ordered you, your shoulders hunching and more tears falling at the tone of his voice, so unlike the way he’d spoken to you about his family with smudges of chocolate decorating the corners of his mouth. ‘Bud, he fell down and he hit his head,’ he explained miserably, but you’d seen it all, you couldn’t pretend you didn’t.

‘It wasn't your fault, Lonny,’ you tried to say but he ignored you, moving like a caged animal on the other side of the fence as he stared you down, he needed you to believe him, you were his friend and he needed you to believe all of it.

‘He tried to grab me,’ he moaned next, the two of you inching closer and closer to the opening until he was reaching for you, assuming you were only there to run. You held up your arms and stayed where you were, his own hand pulling back the moment he touched you like he’d been burned but he didn’t retreat, the wrench still in his other hand as he waited for you to do something. 

‘Lonny, Lonny, it’s okay, look, I know,’ you said quickly as you purposely let go of the hammer, his eyes watching it before you kicked it as hard as you could towards him as a sign of understanding. He glanced back at you before scrambling to pick it up, he had two weapons now, a hit from either one would be enough to make you reach the same fate as Bud, and when you finally got a glimpse of him you let out a gasp of misery. His head had been caved in, that’s what had happened, and Lonny waited for you to run again now that you’d seen what he’d done. You didn’t though, you wouldn’t, not when he needed you.

You made a show of getting back on your knees to tell him you wouldn’t run, your hands planted firmly on the cold cement to tell him you wouldn’t grab him, and he looked down at the hammer in his other hand before tossing it behind the machine to his left so it was completely out of reach. You nodded, agreeing with his decision, and he looked at his wrench next, his only weapon but still the thing he’d used to kill his friend, and he looked like he didn’t know what to do next.

‘It was an accident, it’s not your fault, I’m not afraid of you,’ you whispered to him, and he sniffed loudly before tossing the wrench to the ground. He fell to his knees and covered his face as he sobbed heavily, his cries echoing throughout the room along with his apologies to Bud for what he’d done. You waited until you couldn’t any longer, your numbness gone as you crawled over to him, and this time he didn’t bat you away when he peeked through his fingers and saw you coming. ‘I’ve been trying to talk to you for months,’ you told him, more tears spilling over the gaps and down his hands, ‘that’s why I keep bringing donuts to work, I’ve been waiting for you to come over so I could say hi to you; I wanted to do it sooner, but I’m a coward, that’s why I couldn’t be there for you earlier, I didn’t mean to watch I’m just a coward-’

He lowered his hands and wiped his nose with his sleeve, the tears still falling as he inched his way towards you. You were the one loudly crying now, if you’d just called out to him then this wouldn’t have happened, maybe you could’ve helped him, maybe if you’d just invited him to breakfast and skipped work entirely then you’d both be out there right now, and you didn’t realize you were saying it all out loud until he wrapped his arms around you. ‘He just grabbed me, I thought he was gunna hurt me,’ he whispered into your hair, and you finally held him back and sparked his desperation; he pulled you nearly onto his lap with a shuddering gasp, his hands clinging to you as you clung right back, the body of another dead friend staring up at you as all you could do was hold each other. ‘It was an accident, I’m not a bad person I’m not I’m not-’

‘I know, I know you’re not,’ you told him over and over until he was burying his face into your shoulder. You knew it must be hell up there but you couldn’t be bothered to care, all that mattered now was that you both got out of there together, you weren’t going to just sit by like a statue the next time his panic overtook him. ‘C’mere, let’s get out of here.’ You stood and took his hand so he’d do the same, and you cautiously headed back down the hallway with the wrench in hand again, neither of you stopping until he led you back to the break room and locked the door.

You were now technically locked into a room with a murderer, but you couldn’t see him like that, not him, not Lonny as he walked over to the sink and turned on the tap. He let it pool into his cupped hands before splashing it onto his face, he was covered with tears and sweat just like you were, and when he turned back to you all of the water ran down his chest and darkened his uniform. His bangs were soaked and dripping down his face, his eyes just barely showing through them, and you walked over to him and silently asked for permission to touch him.

He flinched at first, but eventually shut his eyes and let you while the wrench lay just within reach, and you were careful as you reached up and brushed his bangs to the side. You tucked them behind his ears and grabbed one of the towels for their dishes before wiping his face off next, just barely brushing the fabric against him so you wouldn’t upset him. It seemed to calm him even more, his shoulders relaxing and his body untensing just a little more with each gentle touch. When you were done you took his hand and got him to sit, it was still too warm in there, and you noticed the old fan tucked into the corner for those extra hot summer days. You made sure it still worked before turning it on, and he let out a sigh as the coolness hit him and allowed him a bit of a reprieve.

‘Here, your shirt’s all wet, it’ll help,’ you began as you reached for his uniform’s zipper, but his hand on your wrist got you to stop fast. ‘It’s okay, look, I’ll do the same, see?’ One-handed you undid your own buttons, your face flushing as you stripped off your very sweaty shirt and laid it over the back of your chair, your body instantly accepting the cold air and making you shiver in such a simple delight that it could’ve made you cry again. He looked you over quickly before doing the same, his blue shirt underneath hanging over his own chair while his coveralls bunched around his hips, his undershirt stained and damp from all the layers and the lack of AC. ‘We can rest here a moment, I don’t think any of them will come down here, so we can talk about what to do in the meantime.’

‘You think they’ll come for me?’ he asked nervously, already panicking over getting caught, but you shushed him softly and kept your hand hovering over his arm resting on the table between you just in case.

‘I don’t doubt everyone is in a similar state upstairs, no one will blame you for that, yours was an accident,’ you said truthfully, but he still looked nervously at the door all the same. ‘I need to find out what’s happening, we only have two hours, less now, and I don’t care if I… if I have to kill someone to do it, but I’ll make sure we get out of this, okay? And we can’t do that if we stay down here in the dark, leaving it up to them and chance might just seal our fate.’

‘If you go out there you’ll risk getting killed yourself, you know that, right?’ he said seriously as he leaned in, and his hand closed over yours and pushed it down onto his arm. ‘We can hide down here, I know all the tunnels, every twist and turn, I even know how to get into the vents; going back up there means that someone else’ll get hurt, that’s what they want.’

‘I know, that’s exactly what they want, and I doubt they’ll stop at 30,’ you muttered right on the edge of hopelessness, but his hand on yours made you suck in a deep breath and sit up straight. ‘But I didn’t spend the past 7 months of my life wanting to ask you out to get killed now, no fucking way.’

‘You… you wanted to ask me out?’ he questioned softly, his voice just barely above a whisper, almost like he was unsure he’d heard you correctly, and you nodded for just a second before he was leaning over the corner of the table and kissing you. Your eyes went wide as his hand held yours in place, the kiss chaste and a bit desperate but enough to make your heart pound all the same, and when he backed away his hair fell free and into his eyes again when his head dipped down to stare at you. ‘I’ve been… trying to get Bud to tell you for me since I first saw you, but he never would, he just kept saying I should do it myself.’ He looked away then, something sad after being so soft. ‘And now he can never…’

‘But you just did,’ you reminded him, your free hand reaching up to push aside his hair again, ‘and I can never forgive them for doing this to us.’

He nodded, his head was a bit clearer now even though he was still upset, the fan and the silence were certainly helping along with your words. ‘I’m still afraid, though…’ he whispered, and you shifted your chair closer to him so that you could pull him back into a hug. His skin was still warm as your chests pressed together, your hug instantly becoming something more intimate when you remembered that you were attempting to cool, but it only bonded you more when you felt his hand leave yours in order to place itself over your back.

‘I am, too, but if they want us to play a game together then I’ll fucking play until I can pay them back for our friends.’ You placed your forehead against his, your hand on his neck and feeling for his scar, and you shut your eyes tight when you felt the line stretching across his scalp, just as your own did. ‘I don’t know how yet, but we’re going to get out of here, and if this ends and I lose you…’

‘Then you’ll keep going, yeah? You said it yourself, we only just officially met this morning, I k- I hurt Bud, you shouldn’t have to give up just because of me,’ he whimpered lowly, another tremble making you open your eyes again, and you hushed him once more before wiping away the first tear that fell.

‘That’s why we need to both get out of here, so I can invite you to lunch and you can tell me everything we never talked about, don’t we?’ you insisted, and he nodded against you and placed his own hand on the back of your neck, the covered spaces starting to heat up again without the fan. ‘We can do this, you’re strong, and smart, and I’m a coward but I’ll help you in any way that I can, we don’t even need to join any of them, we just need to let them tear each other apart and up the count for us while we figure a way to get out, and… and if need be we can protect each other, I won’t let them get to you like that again.’

‘But what if they do? What if I get so upset that I hurt you this time?’ He didn’t want to even think about it, his breathing starting to quicken as he pictured you in Bud’s place, and you kissed him soft and slow until you were all he could feel.

‘Then I’ll know it’ll just be an accident, because you’re not a bad person, and, if I’m being honest, I think you might actually be better than most of the guys in this place,’ you said with a small laugh, and he thought about it a moment before laughing along with you, a small shred of relieved happiness in these hours of pain. ‘Come on, we need to see what they’re doing, do you think you could get us up to the security room so we could check the cameras?’

‘I think so, there’s a maintenance elevator that only Bud and I can use, it’s away from the others so they might think to use it last, they need a key to get it to run,’ he told you, said key stuck to the ring and line attached to his belt, and you nodded and kissed him again real quick.

‘That’s perfect, we can leave in a minute, you stay here and check for anything we can use to protect ourselves, I’m going to get my hammer back,’ you told him as you stood, but he didn’t let you leave at the thought of you seeing Bud again, or never coming back at all. ‘It’s okay, I won’t let anyone take you away from me,’ you promised him, and then he was letting you go and watching you hurry out. You didn’t get lost on the way back, the halls silent and telling you that no one else was around as you ended up at your destination without trouble. 

There was Bud, still slumped where he’d fallen, and you closed your eyes for a moment of silence before kneeling down and closing his for him. You were just about to stand when you saw his own set of keys, and you unclipped them and attached them to your own belt loop before you heard a sound. You stilled, your eyes looking every which way for a sign of movement, but you saw nothing stand out in the maze. You narrowed your eyes and went back to getting your hammer, he’d really thrown it far to the point where you had to lay down and reach under the machine for it, and when you pulled back your hand it was covered in years worth of dust and webs.

You shivered and brushed it all off without a fuss, there were worse things to be afraid of down here now, and you hurried all the way back to Lonny with your own weapon in hand and a fire in your heart; you were going to get out of here, if you had to fight your way through this entire building to make sure no one hurt him again, then by god were you going to rain down hell on all who stood in your way, and when you returned to him and saw him standing there with his coveralls tied around his waist and his wrench in his hand you knew that he was ready to do the same for you.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

◈━ 𝑩𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒄𝒆 - 𝑪𝒉. 𝑰𝑰: 𝑬𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒓𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑷𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒆 ━◈

Summary: The Messenger has been sent to ensure that Jens abandons his excavation before he sees too much. And, reluctantly, it does its job. It tortures him, with the icy waters of the Drake Passage as a weapon. But soon it will realize that much more is afoot.

TW: attempted mind control, migraine pain, vomiting (non-graphic), shock, passing out, descriptions of being a scary fish

NAME?

.̵̱̻͕͓͇̲̳̑͒͗͜͝͝*̙̗̯̬̀͜͜ͅl̵̝̥͕̐̿̑͊i̵͈̇̄̐͌͘͜͝͝v̜͉̜̉̓́͆̅͆̕͜ȉ̷̛̳͉̠̝͓͗̒̒̏̚:̵̤͈̭͒͐̂̿

MISSION SUMMARY?

Objectives: Prevent APOKRA sighting. Prevent knowledge acquisition. Failure consequence: Prevent knowledge dissemination. Purification of the target. Target: Jens Vídalín.

YOU MAY STATE YOUR REQUEST.

I request reassignment.

REASON?

The target resists verbal persuasion and melding has failed. The target consistently spawns in demolished sections of my psycheworld – that is, in deep space. He begins suffocating. Perhaps, for another, he will spawn elsewhere.

YOU KNOW BETTER. “SHOULD THE DEMOLISHED SECTIONS BE ACCESSED – “

“The only fault is my own. I am the gatekeeper.”

CORRECT.

Nonetheless, any control over the spawn point constitutes an energy drain. I fear that my efficiency may be compromised.

VERY WELL. UPON YOUR RETURN, YOU WILL BE RECONDITIONED.

Wait! That does nothing to solve the issue at hand.

CAN YOU NOT ENTER HIS PSYCHEWORLD INSTEAD?

…It is extremely inhospitable. Something is wrong with it.

WHAT IS WRONG? WHY IS THIS ISSUE NOT A PART OF OUR KNOWLEDGE BASE?

I don’t know.

IS THAT ALL?

…

REQEST DENIED.

And so the surface of the purple Quasar rushed away, and the Messenger slammed back into its body, some 35,000 ft. above Argentina. It lay flat against the outer hull of the plane, straddling the vertical stabilizer. It had taken an aerodynamic shape for the time being, the bulk of its torso smeared back into something unsettlingly smooth and its spine almost melded against the metal. To an onlooker, it might have looked like the outline of something vaguely humanoid with a seamless, metallic sheet shrink-wrapped over the top of it. But it held its human facial features. It wanted to practice those, for Jens.

Jens Vídalín, little ball of bitterness and misery and carbon down by the cockpit, tangle of machination in dark colors and soft fabrics, blood rushing in his ears like the ocean. Jens Vídalín, forsaken child. Jens Vídalín, whose fate was long spoken for. Jens Vídalín, pretty lamb. Perhaps, if the Messenger looked very beautiful to him, he wouldn’t be so frightened in his final moments. But he wouldn’t have to see it at all if he would just listen before it was too late.

That was a futile hope, and the Messenger knew it. It had tried to get him disqualified from the excavation. It had accosted him on the street, looking like a fortune teller and saying that he must not follow through with his plans. It had tried to talk to him again and again without revealing itself, had been trying to gain control of his mind for days when that failed, and had only sent him further into frenzy. It could feel him solidifying his resolve even now, bracing himself for the next leg of the journey. He had stopped trying to look in its direction, and it had stopped trying to reach into his mind. He was already too cold and dizzy as it was, and if it let him feel the icy wind tunnel racing past the outer hull at low pressure, he’d probably fall unconscious again.

But it brushed against his thoughts occasionally, without coming too close. He was absolutely radiating defiance. And something else too…wonder. Yes, wonder at being so close to the truth. It bordered on the sublime. Anyone who tried to stop him now would have to destroy him.

Messenger sighed with its half-formed lungs as the plane dipped into momentary freefall, gliding through a whirl of light snowflakes onto the runway. From here, Jens and his team would take a ferry to King George Island. Then, they would take another ship down the peninsula, towards the pole.

Jens was not looking forward to the ferry one bit. In fact, like most things, it terrified him.

The Messenger could look right at him in the airport, with eyes and not with thoughts, unlike on the plane. It was refreshing, to have physical sight of him. He set down his bag and leaned against a column while waiting for the others to collect their baggage, and Messenger stood at a distance, shifted into the shape of a janitor. He took off his glasses to massage his forehead, his fingers gradually working back through thick black locks of hair, and then finally gave up and let his arms fall back to his sides. Nothing seemed to help. He put his glasses back on before anyone could notice how ill he was.

But the danger of being noticed was small. The Messenger realized how little any of the others on the excavation crew bothered to look at him, though they talked amongst each other. He was, of course, an outcast everywhere. That should be a relief, as it very well knew. A life unbound from other lives was easily extractable, much better than killing someone beloved by all. But to the Messenger, it felt worse.

It saw him stumble on the way to the taxi. It saw him stumble again getting out. It saw him stop in his tracks when he caught sight of the Southern Ocean for the first time, and the Messenger stopped too, some fifty feet behind in the guise of a dock worker with a fur cap and five o’clock shadow. Past the docks, the water was churning in black, rising into the choppy greys of fog and distant mountains, giving out onto a white abyss of sky. The ferry could be seen rocking just a little on its moorings, and Jens was fixed on it. The Messenger squinted, trying to discern with these shoddy human eyes whether he was shaking. He must be. Good, all the better for one last chance to sway him. It checked itself to ensure the proper state of its features, and then mimicked the gait of the workers around them until they were standing side by side.

It turned to Jens casually. “Waves get up to twelve meters out there. You’re in for a wild storm.”

Jens stared, unanswering. It stared back, letting the depthless fathoms behind its eyes unsettle him. His lips were tight. “I’ve heard your voice before.”

The voice box. Damn it. It wasn’t so good at making those.

“You must be thinking of someone else,” it said, and continued on, as if to make for a toolshed adjacent to the dockworkers’ offices. But he was already so on edge that he couldn’t let it go.

“Where did I hear your voice before!?” His own pitched upward in desperation, and he lunged forward towards the Messenger as if to grab its arm, forcing it into a backwards scramble and then a run to evade him. His peers pulled him back, apologizing to it – but it was already gone.

Jens’ companion surveyed the crowd, recognized no one, and turned to Jens. “What’s the matter with you?”

“…Nothing. I just…thought…I could have sworn I saw someone I knew. But I must have been wrong.” Jens shook his head before finally following them away.

It watched him go, steadying itself. That had been close. Better not to join him on the ship at all. And besides, if it could wear out his body now, he’d be sent home.

It circled around behind the toolshed, and then gave up the shambling gait for something more fluid, let itself slip into the water and its clothes slip away, its lungs slip right out of being. Water fluttered through its ribcage and its neck and over its scales. It was no elegant mermaid, but something long and slithering enough to keep pace with the ship when the time came, an armless human head on the body of a pale, ten foot serpent, such as swims in the deepest places. None saw its pallid ribbon slip between the rocks and then low into the harbor, and out, following the ferry.  

How many shifts was that today? Five at least. It would be so good to feed, but it wasn’t really necessary. With any luck, it would not need to shift again for some time. The Drake Passage was a two-day crossing. Two days to focus entirely on the target.

It got comfortable, zig-zagging above jagged rocks, letting its eyes adjust to the trickle of colorless light that filtered down through the storm and then the waves. Fleshy, fishy cod ran up against it, recoiling in horror. They made this body lick its lips, though they would not offer it any real nourishment. Farther out, there were icefish and sweet snailfish – it could scent them by the fragments of their dead fluttering through its gills, and that hunger struck harder and harder. But what it needed was lightning. Plasma, rich, brilliant plasma.

And the storm delivered. The Messenger’s maw rose to meet it. Up, up, up, it raced, in a straight line, broke surface and dove into the sky and the sky arced down its throat in a thundering flash. What a sight it was! A serpent eating lightning. The boatman who watched it rear its awfully human face above the water would remember that moment for the rest of his life, and never tell. Who would believe him?

Other things, too, were hungry – killer whales calling to each other in the distance, but even they did not dare to approach The Messenger, whose intelligent, slithering movements they could not predict or understand. It touched bottom, enjoying its fullness, felt the sand against its belly with a simple, hedonistic joy, and left bizarrely snaking trails in its wake.

But it did not forget Jens in its play. No, not for a moment. It tilted its head (and the mind within its head) and sought him, from time to time. Night had come upon them in a curtain of deep grey, and the storm painted it with whites and purples now and then, snapped up by the Messenger if they were close enough. Winds began to buffet the ferry while Jens stared out a porthole, eyes wide.

The Messenger couldn’t quite see what he saw, but it could take in the nature of his state. It wanted so badly to help him… It would have to be brutal to him, really brutal. It have to break him… It hated this in every part, but it felt more powerful out here, closer to the APOKRA. And Jens felt more terrified. Maybe now, all would become possible.

Every touch wracked the Messenger. Its long tail thrashed out in an agony of unfulfilled affection every time it felt his mind. He felt too sick to eat or drink – not from nausea really, but from sheer anxiety. He was laying, probably in his bunk, with his head feeling like it had a cleaver through it, but with his eyes wide open for fear of being approached in his sleep. He knew it was near. And he knew the APOKRA was near. The Messenger had some notion that he couldn’t tell the difference between the two – not that it mattered. It gave him whole thoughts. Go back. Go home. You can live in peace.

NO. Go to hell, he answered.

Experimentally, it let something bleed through, and Jens thrashed just as the Messenger had, but in confusion and terror. He was trying to stop himself from screaming as he felt dark water rush over his body. Good. It would let him feel this every now and then, unpredictably. It drew nearer and nearer to the boat, and to the surface, closing the distance between them, giving him flashes of icy pain, of what he would feel if he didn’t give this up.

It was torturing him. And it would not stop for anything until it knew he would go home and live.

Its makeshift heart pounded with a sick mixture of terror and determination, such as a doctor might feel in the midst of surgery without anesthetic or an animal catcher trying to bring in something wild and beautiful for treatment. Just a little more, just a little more, and this nightmarish interaction would be over. Just give in, just submit, and this will all be easy…

The waves were twelve feet and cold enough to stop his heart. The Messenger rose up within a wall of water where it could see the little ferry by lightning strike, and let itself be thrown back down, over and over, each fall slamming into Jens. At some point he vomited and lay down again empty, fearing for his life. His body was getting fully chilled, and he struggled to warm it, probably pulling blankets around himself, but it was no use – the Messenger had too much control. He was shivering very badly, rocking and crying out and cursing at it.

But Jens would not break. He seemed made for this, trained for this. If it went any harder, he would pass out.

And then it felt it.

There was something else in Jens’ mind with them.

No, it couldn’t be.

APOKRA?

The thing did not answer. But something was happening to Jens. The Messenger felt coldness seep deeper than the bone – not merely unpleasant, not merely painful, but lethal. A second torture on top of the first had overcome him. He was – no. Yes. He was going into very heavy shock. He was dying.

The feverish effort of torturing him had already driven it to the brink. It was shouting in its mind. What are you doing? You can’t feed here, master! You’ve drawn attention to yourself!

It hesitated, but couldn’t hold itself back.

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

Still, the thing did not answer. Its mind had gone somewhere else, carrying Jens’ mind away in its claws. It felt like APOKRA, yes, that much was certain. Vast, ancient, hideous with all the martyrdom taken upon itself. And the Messenger, it seemed, was beneath its notice.

What the hell was the Messenger supposed to do? Jens was unconscious now. He must have passed out in his bed. The third being was inside his psycheworld, torturing him, just as something had made the lights go out on the plane. It must have been the same then, only milder.

Should it follow the two of them?

But then he would feel even colder, and he couldn’t take much more. His body needed the Messenger now, needed heat. And perhaps healing, if it wasn’t already too late.

On impulse, the Messenger streaked towards the ferry.

Hold on, Jens…

He could not hear it, and wouldn’t trust it if he could, but it was frantic. It threw itself against the side of the boat, sprouted a hundred tentacle arms rife with suction cups, and began to scuttle up the flat metal of the prow like an ungodly centipede. Someone above looked down over the railing, let out the sort of strangled noise that humans make when they see a loved one decapitated in front of them, and fainted.

This turn of events was not only thrilling, but convenient. The Messenger wore the fainted man’s likeness into the cabin of the ship, homing in on Jens’ room. It tried the door. Bolted.

Another shift was needed. Thank goodness for that lightning earlier. It became a totally improvised, shapeless sort of slime that oozed under the door and then straightened up again, into the full grandeur of its favorite human avatar, designed for Jens, in case he happened to awaken and see it.

It was panting over him, still soaked and leaving a trail of salt water across his floorboards.

He was sprawled across his bunk, a pathetic tangle of limbs and tears, quite unconscious just as the Messenger had expected. His bunkmate, no doubt tired of his noise and commotion, had gone to sleep elsewhere. “I’m sorry”, it whispered aloud, with its perilously recognizable vocal cords. At least they were rich and melodic. “I didn’t know what it was doing to you.”

He did not stir, only let out a low whine of pain. The Messenger stroked his forehead and thought of him with wild affection, with real giving. His hair was so silken, his skin so soft. But he was icy too. It pitied him, pitied him until its heart tore open – not the one in its chest, but its real heart, beating somewhere beyond spacetime in the psycheworld. And life force poured out of it, into his freezing brain.

How many times had he endured that alone? What an atrocity. And what the hell could the APOKRA be playing at? Food gets away all the time, just let him go and then he wouldn’t be seeking its burial ground…

Compassion kindled to rage. It should slip away now, back into the waves, but it didn’t. Fuck the APOKRA. Fuck reconditioning. A week hence, it might have to end him. But for now it pulled the blankets up around his shoulders, bent over him, and held his cold, forsaken body through the storm.

◃ Back ◈ Next ▹(coming soon)

Image Sources: 1 2 - drawing on top of this ocean image with this face superimposed

[alan-in-the-outernet]

"can I please just get an actual response that isn't an accusation? Please?"

"Okay so if this happened and if stick figures are connected to this, you would probably end up getting the most severe case of cursor sensitivity in history. Let's keep this hypothetical and not test that. What we've learned here is already enough to make us reevaluate everything we thought we knew about this phenomenon. Let's not test it any further."

"And what do you think such a severe case would be like? What do you think the symptoms would be like?"

"Really not liking the way you're asking, but honestly there isn't a way of knowing given the fact that everything we used to think might be entirely wrong. Who knows what it would be like? Just reiterating the fact that you should not test this."

"..."

"what did you do."

"Nothing. This is all hypothetical."

"Did you start this thread because you accidentally showed your cursor to a large population of sticks outside of your desktop before suddenly getting a bunch of worrying new symptoms? Leading to you wondering if there was a connection between sticks and cursor sensitivity?"

"I plead the 5th"

"omfg. well, at least you made a major scientific discovery on a poorly understood rare phenomenon. Can you at least document your symptoms?"

"my symptoms are unfortunately not very realistic so I don't think anyone will believe me."

"Because of you we discovered a connection between cursor sensitivity and stick figures that might've gone undiscovered for a long time otherwise. Which in itself doesn't sound realistic and points to the supernatural. At this point there's a lot that I could believe about it."

"I could hear my stick figures talk. The rest of my symptoms only get less realistic from there."

"get away from your computer asap"

"I tried that but unfortunately it's gotten to the point where I can control my cursor in my dreams. I was drawing a picture with one of my sticks last night while I slept in my bed. I thought it was just a weird dream at first but then I woke up and went to my computer and saw it. The stick in question was able to confirm that it all actually happened. This unfortunately means that even if I'm physically away from my computer I can't escape the cursor."

"what the **** go to a doctor this is really serious???"

"probably not unless I start passing out or something. Who'd believe me?"

Time skip:

"I have an update."

"what happened this time?! Are you okay?"

"no. I've started getting summoned by stick figures in a stick figure city in my dreams."

"excuse me what?"

"yeah and whenever that happens my mind gets all foggy and it's like something else takes over to solve whatever problem I was summoned for."

"OKAY THAT'S FREAKY BUT ALSO WHY ARE YOU BEING SUMMONED????"

"THEY THINK THE CURSOR IS A GOD AND I HAVE NO WAY OF CONVINCING THEM OTHERWISE AND THIS MAKES IT EVEN WORSE"

"you started a cult of stick figures."

"PLEASE DONT JOKE ABOUT IT. I AM FREAKING OUT HOW DO I STOP THIS?!"

"go to a doctor."

Time skip

"update: they're summoning me when I'm awake now and it causes me to pass out I really don't like this."

"didn't you say that if you started passing out you would go to a doctor?"

"yeah... I did say that."

Time skip

"Doctor has no idea what to do but at least she believes me."

"I guess that makes sense considering how poorly understood this actually is apparently. You discovered stages of something everyone used to think was just a weird phenomenon. Congrats on becoming the foremost expert on something."

"You're not helping."

"how does one help someone that's getting deified by stick figures?"

*I DO NOT WANT TO BE DEIFIED"

Time skip

"THERE'S PHYSICAL EFFECTS NOW. I CAN SUMMON LIGHT. I DONT LIKE THIS. SHOWED THE DOCTOR AND SHE FREAKED OUT FOR OBVIOUS REASONS BUT AGREED NOT TO TELL ANYONE."

"you can do magic now? Nice."

"NOTNICENOTNICENITNICE"

"good luck ascending"

"PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT!"

(I got carried away)

I'M??? I LOVE THIS??? I'M CACKLING SO MUCH IM

*WHEEEZEEEEE*

[erimeows]

And If You Close The Door, The Night Could Last Forever

When they’re working at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, Wilson and House are putting on an act. Why they do it, Wilson isn’t exactly sure. He knows that neither he nor House care about the opinions of their coworkers when it comes to what they do, but then again, that isn’t the problem. He supposes they’re more of admitting what they have to each other than they are to anyone else under the careful scrutiny of each other. It’s a game they’ve been playing for years.

At night- outside of the confines of the building where they work- however, things are just a little different. Neither of them acknowledge it, but they both know that the way they’re sitting on the hospital’s rooftop is not the way that two average friends would sit. They’re sitting on the edge, legs dangling off, nothing to save them but each other and their own hands gripping the railing. 

Maybe they don’t want to be saved from this- from whatever it is that they are these days.

Wilson glances up at the sky. It’s a cool summer night and their usual view of the stars is shrouded by the dark, puffy grey clouds that float above them. It’s not quite as romantic as their usual silent star-gazing, though Wilson doesn’t mind very much. Those stars are always there and will probably be there for the rest of his life. He can’t exactly say the same about the man sitting next to him.

So, just like every other night they do this, Wilson quickly becomes distracted and trains his gaze on House. 

The older man is still staring at the stars that aren’t even there, probably avoiding the intense eye-contact that Wilson is trying to make. It’s unsurprising- firstly because this is how it always goes, and secondly because Wilson is trying so desperately to see through House while Wilson is sure that House has always been able to see right through him. House already knows everything there is to know, so for him, there’s probably no point in looking anymore. Wilson wonders why House sticks around if he’s already figured him out. People are usually just cases to solve to him, after all, and House solved the case of Wilson more than ten years ago

“It’s weird to think…” Wilson starts, clearing his throat, which finally makes House look over at him.

“What is?” House responds, furrowing his brow.

“That there’s someone on this planet who knows everything about me,” Wilson pauses, then decides to clarify (even if House could’ve figured it out on his own, because House loves making Wilson admit every embarrassing thing he’s ever thought out loud). “You.”

“Oh, come on. I don’t know everything about you. That’d be ridiculous. It’s like I said before, you’re never boring. Surely, there’s something you haven’t told me about yourself; something I haven’t been able to figure out yet.”

“You really think that? I’ve always seen myself as an open book… You’ve been around me for so many years, surely you must’ve pieced everything together by now- or at least everything that’s worth getting to know about me.”

“Surely not. You’re more complicated than you like to make yourself out to be. Plus, it doesn’t matter how long you’re around someone…” House sighs, then shrugs and finishes his statement with- “People change.”

“Really? The House I know would never say that,” Wilson laughs. “People don’t change, they just become more of who they really are. Isn’t that what you claimed all those years ago?”

“...Same difference. I’d be lying if I said I thought you knew everything about me.”

“You think I don’t?”

House laughs back, shaking his head. Tears prick the corners of his icy blue eyes.

“I’m glad you don’t.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but try me,” Wilson challenges. Then, bracing himself, he reaches over and places a hand on top of one of House’s. House almost loses his grip on the railing, but Wilson quickly reaches over to hold his friend steady where he sits on the ledge of the hospital’s rooftop. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

House swallows tightly and averts his gaze, red dusting the top of his cheeks. It’s an expression that looks delightfully unfamiliar on such a cocksure man. Wilson can’t help but fall in love with it.

“How about ‘I love you’?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” House says it plainly, almost as if he’s talking about the weather forecast or something of equal triviality. He pulls his hand away from Wilson, scoots back, and stands up on the roof to head towards the latch of the door that leads to the hospital’s top stairwell. Really, they’re not even supposed to be up here, but staff has access to the lock, so they’ve been frequenting this spot for years. “But we both know I’m not what you need.”

“But you are what I want,” Wilson quickly retorts because fuck, they’re finally talking about this and he doesn’t know when he’ll get the opportunity to bring it up again.

“Well, want and need are two different things.”

Wilson stands up and takes a few strides towards where House is standing. He pulls House’s hands away from the latch and peers up at him.

“Well, what if it’s both?”

“Then I feel bad for you,” House chuckles. “I’m a lot to deal with.”

“Don’t feel bad for me,” Wilson scoffs. “Or I’ll start to feel bad for you, too. I’ve consciously chosen to do this with you for almost a decade. You think I don’t know by now that you’re kind of a lot? I mean, you’re you.”

“Fair point, but… Are we just going to stand here like this, or are you going to shut up and kiss me?”

And, even if Wilson knows they won’t talk about this tomorrow, he double checks the lock on the roof’s door before pulling House into his arms and pressing their lips together- because maybe if he keeps that door closed, maybe if he keeps House close to him like this, tonight could last forever.

[omarera]

I wonder how they get to choose who is interpreting who and which songs are interpreted by who? Is it first comes, first serves? I would love to know.

Is it so that if one has interpreted a song already, nobody else can do that song?

I wondered this as well. Thanks for the ask so I went and found some answers. I found an article in Aftonbladet from November 2021 with the executive producer of ”Så mycket bättre” for then 10 years (now 12 years) Martin Nygren. I would say it’s still valid. And a long answer then with the help of Google Translate. But there were many good questions here.

Do the artists really not get to hear the songs and know who will interpret their songs until on location during the recording?

They will find out on the spot, I promise. They know nothing about it before.

How is it chosen who gets to interpret which song by which artist?

- It's a hell of a logistics puzzle, especially since we changed the program. Previously, when we had seven fixed artists who were there for the whole period, it was much easier, then we knew that there were six songs that would be up during a certain day. Now everything is covered in noise and we never really know exactly which days which artists are there, if they are there at the same time and can interpret each other... it is an ongoing process throughout the spring, you could say, when the casting partially begins to take shape and we know who will be there, and hopefully also which days.

Of course we have requests about which songs we want to come up that we understand the audience wants to hear, the most famous songs from artists' catalogs, but we are not completely locked in. We can also consider sometimes letting them take on songs they have stuck with for some reason or have had as a personal favorite for a long time. It's a bit of a give and take all the time. We usually have a list of songs that we have as suggestions, then everyone can come in with requests. Sometimes some people jump on the phone as soon as they hear that someone is joining and call and say "I want this song", and sometimes we have to nag a little that we think something will be great. It's a give and take from February, March, April.

What happens if two artists want to interpret the same song?

Then we try to be as fair as possible, depending on how many favorites the artists have managed to get. If you have already received many songs you absolutely want, you can backtrack on another song. We try to hand out the songs only when the casting is set, but it's quite a long process so they usually get some songs a little earlier so they have something to start working on.

Has there been an argument about song selection and artist selection?

There has probably never been a fight. If it is the case that someone is expected to interpret someone but cannot find any input on the material or finds it difficult, we try to solve it anyway, so that we do not have to force anyone. It has happened a few times that people have been looking for the same song, but then they argue with us in that case, not among themselves. But it has always worked out

Can the artist say no to not wanting any of their songs interpreted?

We want to solve all the rights and clearance of the songs because we don't just do covers outright, but sometimes the lyrics change a little, or someone translates freely and so on, and then we want their song catalogs to be cleared. It may be that some songs cannot be cleared because there is another author or authors of those songs, and then you have to sort it out.

Then we try to find songs that we know have meant a lot to the artist and also to some extent find some spread, so that not all songs are from, for example, the artist's first album. So that you can take advantage of your entire career.

How often do you have problems with a song not being approved?

There is always a song every year, but it has never been a huge problem that we have not been able to solve with other material.

How long does it take to record a lunch?

- It probably takes about three hours, I would say.

How long does it take to record a dinner? -

It's the same there, just over three hours.

It looks in the show that everyone just gets up and puts their performance on one take, but that's not the case, is it?

- No, it could be technical mistakes, that we lack visual material we want, that the artist may not have had time to set the lyrics and sings wrong... it definitely happens that we break and retake, for various reasons. It is far from every time it sits immediately.

[sl-walker]

Trek prompt: Scotty vs. the kittens! Somehow they wound up in Engineering and no one is claiming responsibility.

How very dare you. (Responsibility is claimed, but there is a kitten involved.)

Anyway, this takes place in early 2256, so well after where the series is on AO3. A note for anyone else reading: AotW was plotted long, long before Discovery or Strange New Worlds came out, so it doesn't fit the new stuff. But it does fit the old stuff!

--

It figured that the first real challenge to his new posting as Chief Engineer of the Enterprise had absolutely nothing to do with engineering.

Scotty was only beginning to get used to his promotion and appointment; it was just a week old now, and he still occasionally had to huff a breath out that fell somewhere between wondering laughter and actual anxiety.

But despite the fact he felt a wee bit like someone had lobbed a brick at his head and he was reeling around dazed in the aftermath, he knew he at least looked mostly like he was handling the huge shift his life had undergone when Captain Pike had handed him his letters and the astronomical responsibility that came with them. And it helped that he could go home -- Earth-home -- every night and find refuge with his family and the slower, more gentle pace of life in Midcoast Maine; it was awkward, yet, learning how to leave work at work, but having a niece and nephew to dote on went a long way towards it.

Any which way, he thought he was doing a fair job of seeming to be properly put together, at least until one of his temporary techs meowed at him.

The tech froze, back to him; Scotty's head went over to the side slowly, as he tried to figure out how he was supposed to react to that. Except maybe to tell the lad that he was a fine mimic, anyway; he did sound just like a kitten.

He went to open his mouth to say something -- hoping the words would leap into existence when he didn't actually know what they would be -- when the tech turned around with a resigned look and slumping shoulders. "Uh-- I can explain, Chief, I swear, I just--"

"Collins, is that a cat?" There was an orange fluffball in the lad's collar, against his neck; either it was a cat, if a very small one, or he had the kind of growth that would have Xenobiology quarantining the whole lot of them.

Collins winced. "Sir, I know we're not supposed to bring animals aboard, but I thought-- we're in the Fleet Yards, so it's not like we're out in open space, and she was out in the rain and her mother wasn't anywhere, so I thought maybe I would bring her just long enough to wait for my lunch break and then call somebody about taking her in, I mean, I have my PADD set to scan for any lost pet advisories from Chicago, and--"

Scotty was waiting for the kid to faint; Collins didn't take a single breath as he dumped that whole bucket of words out. But when it became clear that poor Collins was just going to keep going, he spoke up, holding a hand up to hopefully stall any more, "Calm down. I'm not about to go bringin' ye up on charges over a kitten, Collins." Especially given his own record. "Just--" Well, just what? he asked himself. "D'ye have a plan for if she doesn't have anyone lookin' for her?"

Collins cleared his throat, looking thoroughly abashed. "--no, sir. My roommate would probably kill me if I brought her home. And my parents already have dogs, and my grandmother has birds-- and-- well, maybe there's some kind of organization--?"

Scotty somehow managed not to start rubbing the bridge of his nose; he wasn't sure whether he was more exasperated or more amused yet. "All right. All right, stop what ye're doin', and look into it. And we'll see if we can't solve this before the end o' the day, aye?"

"Oh." Collins breathed out in clear relief. "Yessir. Uh-- d'you wanna hold her maybe?" he asked, extricating the fuzz from his collar -- which gave a tiny protesting meow -- before holding her out.

"That-- would be a very bad idea," Scotty said, except by the time he had those words out of his mouth, he also had the kitten in hand. Oh no, he thought, shaking his head to himself as Collins ran to get his PADD.

"Well, now what?" he asked the fluffball.

The kitten made to climb up his shirt in answer.

--

"Chief--" Captain Pike's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed, and he leaned forward a little from where he was clearly behind his desk, expression openly baffled. "--where did you...?"

Scotty bit down a sigh, knowing full well he was blushing and unable to do a single damn thing about it. "One o' my techs found her on the way to work, Captain. I'm not quite sure how he got her past the transporter operator in Chicago, though. But I swear, she'll be off the ship by the end o' the dayshift."

The fact that the kitten was perched on his shoulder probably made for a surreal image. Pike certainly seemed amused by it, anyway. "I see. Well, I was going to ask if you had time to go over the phase three schedule, but-- clearly you have enough on your shoulders right now. I'll leave you to it."

There was the distinctive snap of a screen capture being taken, but by the time Scotty opened his mouth to protest about it and that really awful joke -- which would have been bold, aye, but necessary -- Pike had already cut the connection, though not before the first note of laughter sounded through the comm.

The kitten was purring up a storm in his ear, even as he rubbed over his face with a groan.

--

Thankfully, the little thing slept through most of the rest of the shift, curled up in a nest he made out of his civilian coat.

Unfortunately, they hadn't actually come up with any real plan for what to do with her.

And also unfortunately, he had to field eight different calls or notes from other senior staff members, which was especially difficult because he was still wrapping his brain around the fact he was one of them now.

And all of whom now had a picture of him playing cat-perch, no less.

"I can't just take her and put her back, Chief," Collins said, all but wringing his hands as he paced back and forth in front of Scotty's desk.

"No, that ye can't." And they were running out of both time and options.

Animal welfare laws and and strict control of the companion animal population meant that the need for rescue organizations was nearly non-existent; strays were almost completely unheard of, and on the incredibly rare occasion there was a stray that wasn't chipped and registered, it usually was rehomed quickly.

But-- no one was missing a kitten in Chicago, and no one was looking for her, and somehow she had come into existence despite all of the laws in place that would otherwise normally prevent such a thing.

Which meant that she needed somewhere to go.

"What do we do?" Collins asked, stopping his pacing -- thank everything, his pacing nearly had Scotty getting up to do the same -- and looking somehow both exhausted and pleading.

Well, it was an engineer's job to solve problems. Even, apparently, problems like these.

Scotty looked at the orange fluffball as she stretched, then yawned, then peered at them with eyes that hadn't even changed color from blue yet, and finally gave into that several-hours-old urge to rub at the bridge of his nose as he answered, "Well, ye're gonna go clean up her temporary litter box and get squared away, and I'm gonna call around and see about findin' her a home. At least until or unless someone in Chicago puts out a notice."

Collins practically melted to the floor in relief. "Thank you, sir," he said, and then he was out the door in a blur of gray boiler suit, probably so he could disappear before Scotty could change his mind.

--

"Corrigan here."

"So, I have this dilemma--" Scotty started, without any preamble, at least until the dilemma decided to meow, a little on the shrill side, no doubt hungry, especially now that the galley was shut down for the day and no more fish paste could be, uh-- repurposed into kitten food.

Corry's voice was both awed and rushed. "--oh my god, where did you get a cat? Is it a kitten. Tell me it's a kitten?"

Well, that didn't sound like a bad response. Scotty knew Cor had a couple cats when he was younger, but at least for the past fourteen years, the family hadn't had any pets. "Aye, it's a kitten. One o' my techs found her, felt bad for her and then brought her aboard. I know Allie and Aaron aren't old enough for pets, but d'ye think Mom and Dad--?" he asked, wincing despite the fact that it couldn't be seen.

"We'll figure something out, just bring her home. I'll stop and grab some stuff, and I'll have Mom and Dad meet us in Augusta, and we can take her back home and see, and oh man, it's been a long time since we've had cats, our last one was twenty-one when he died and then I shipped off to Basic and we just never really had a chance to have another one--"

"--right," Scotty said quietly, pretty much entirely to himself, sinking deeper into his chair in relief as his brother kept on chattering about the Corrigan cats of yore, with a headshake and a grin.

Problem solved, then.

Ten minutes -- and three stories about cat antics -- later, he picked up the kitten and held her against his chest as he headed out the door.

"Don't worry," he told her, "they're really good at takin' in strays."

(She may not have understood, but she had a home by the end of the night, one former stray brought there by another.)

[rafor]

Chapter 11 - A talk between brothers - The Glitch

The sentries did their job perfectly. They returned with advance notice of Michael and Gabriel’s arrival, as requested, in less than a day. That single day of pause gave me time to study the notes of Gabriel and Michael. They contained information about how they worked to help Gabriel reunite his split souls. Reading them redirected me to another book, a story that felt like fantasy and was unreal but may have actually happened. It finally explained to me why it took them so long to get back to me after I freed them when I changed my mind after winning the Battles of the Archangels. They had found a solution for him before starting to search for me. I had believed that they didn’t search for me immediately because they didn’t know about self-made universes, but I was actually wrong. They knew about them and even used one to put both Gabriel souls on a mission. Reading this made me wonder if they were going to do the same with me, if I was soon to get somewhat exiled just to become one again. A mission that could get me away from them and this place for many years. Way more than what I recently experienced during my rebirth life. I couldn’t find another solution, and sticking to something that had been proven to work before seemed like the wisest choice to make. So I began reading the same books that Michael read sometimes as fast as I could, some of which felt really not like books for him. Fantasy for anyone of any age. Why did he read them or have them in his library? I knew he read them because he always put a mark on those he “reviewed” after finishing reading them, and the mark looked authentic, so it wasn’t made by someone else who somehow got access to his books.

When they finally arrived, I was overjoyed to see them, but they were worried since I didn’t tell them why I called them back. Their worry turned into curiosity when Michael noticed that Gabriel was back too and immediately started questioning him about where he had been and why he had been missing for so long. He explained some personal research about mythological creatures, one of which was the one I saw through the Heaven’s Eye. The mission for Gabriel when he was split into two souls happened, as already said, in a kind of fantasy universe where magic was in the first realm too, and so every kind of creature existed. Gabriel wished to bring them into our universe too, but made sure they would be in the third realm and unable to bring any chaos to such a peaceful realm. Shortly after they were done with their discussion, the attention got back to me, and then they also noticed Perx. They were smart enough to understand one of the reasons I called them back. Since Gabriel didn’t even know that I was back, Michael and I had to tell him the whole story and find new problems to solve. Gabriel didn’t really know what he could do to help with that except tell me what I already concluded by reading their notes. Again, I got told about his story and all his experiences, how it was great but it took many years, and everything else that we don’t have to talk about here twice.

When we were done, they asked Perx directly why he was suddenly back, and he said half a lie. I was unsure if what he had told me as a reason before was more or less probable than this new one. He told them that he was back because he noticed that he suddenly had two links instead of one, and so he reached for their source in heaven and started investigating. They kept discussing that until it got into a very heavy subject that I didn’t like to hear, about him not following orders, about him being just lucky to exist only because he was my pawn. When that became a point of discussion, I jumped in to stop it. Perx showed me that he had more than enough will to still help us but was just doing it in his way while being afraid of the consequences. If I knew that less than a couple of centuries later he’d become a terrible threat, I’d have cut the links and terminated him exactly as they had already agreed to do.

Moving on, I told them about my discoveries and about the fact that I did something that I usually never did, which was to start reading something properly, especially something made by us that I usually never wished to read. They didn’t show appreciation for my efforts, but they asked me what I had done and if I had reached any kind of solution. I told them that I was more than willing to get involved in a mission like Gabriel’s to help the glitched soul find himself and eventually trigger the merge on its own.

Their look jumped from surprised by me telling them that and almost proud to something so depressing that it felt like they were about to cry, and it wasn’t a cry of joy. I was confused about why they were having such a reaction. They eventually said, or at least Gabriel did, “It will be like dying again, you know? I want you to know, from experience, about that.” And I did already know about that, so I replied, “I’m aware, but I’m willing to take the risk. Maybe this is a sign that my time has come.” Michael added, “Are you really sure of that? How can we even begin if the other Raphael is still asleep? It is still asleep, isn’t it?” So I replied, “It is, and I’m sure about my decision. I’ll forcefully wake him up again, even if that means that his memories could be erased.” Gabriel interrupted, “Not really. They won’t be erased, just temporarily frozen. I could remember everything again in a matter of days.” I questioned, “Are we talking about the second soul or the main one?" and he replied, ”About the one that was affected and got to experience the tale. Which is me now, perhaps." I didn’t dare to ask about anything else. And they didn’t dare to keep going with the discussion. Instead, we went to the core of heaven to get to talk about this better, to plan on using a new or already existing universe for such a mission, and when to exactly put the human Raphael into it to make sure he wouldn’t just die a minute later getting into it. Perx, meanwhile, fell to a secondary priority.

[origamiplushie]

5. Eddie

Part 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

Read on AO3

When Steve finally got released from the hospital, Eddie was still dead. So he decided to take matters into his own hands and go talk to Eleven himself to see what's up. Maybe he could help solve or plan around whatever obstacles were standing in her way.

Mind made up, Steve headed over to the motel the Hopper-Byers’ were staying at until they managed to find a more permanent home that fit their expanded family. 

The motel itself wasn’t anything to brag about. A classic one-floor building with a gable roof and an off-white exterior. The motel was usually used by truckers passing through - Hawkins didn’t really get many tourists. Right now, in the middle of the day, the parking lot was mostly empty, a few cars scattered around and three plastic lawn chairs and a table with a half-full ash tray set up next to the wall.

When he knocked on the Hoppers’ door, El was the one to answer it. The room was small but seemed cozy enough overall from what Steve could see of it. He glimpsed Hopper snoring on one of the two beds as El brought a finger to her lips in the universal sign to be quiet. Steve noted that her social skills had really come so far from when Steve first met her dealing with demodogs and creepy tunnels. 

El stepped outside and carefully shut the door. 

They both made their way towards the lawn chairs without saying anything. When they were sat down next to each other, El turned and looked at Steve expectantly.

Steve nervously dragged a hand through his hair.

“Hey, El. How’s the house hunting going so far?” he asked in a slightly strained voice.

“It is going well. Joyce says she has found a house she thinks will work. We are going to go look at it tomorrow and if it is good she says we will get to move in in a week. How are you, Steve?” She continued staring at him. She clearly knew Steve must be there for a reason.

Steve, never really one to beat around the bush, committed to just asking her directly.

“I don’t know if anyone already mentioned it or if everyone has been busy rebuilding and stuff, but there was someone else in the Upside Down with us while we were fighting Vecna. His name is Eddie Munson, you probably didn’t know him. He was really brave and after the gates opened he was…” Steve swallowed and looked away.

“We couldn’t take him with us,” he continued after a moment, “So I was wondering if maybe you could use your powers to, well, see if you can reach him. like with Hopper, y’know?”

“You think he is still in the Upside Down?” El asked him. 

Steve noticed he had started nervously tapping his fingers against the plastic arm rests but couldn’t quite force his hand to still in the face of admitting the most difficult part of the issue to El.

“Yeah. I don’t know if you can reach him safely, what with Vecna and everything but…”

El interrupted him. “I will look for him. Let’s go to your car, I need to focus.”

Steve hurried over to the Beemer and at El’s request managed to dig out a scarf Robin had at some point left in there. El sat down in the passenger seat, scarf tied around her face and in a calm voice requested, “Turn on the radio.”

White noise blasted around the car.

Steve anxiously watched as El went wherever she did when she looked for someone with her mind.

After a minute she slowly said: “I can see your friend. He is in the Upside Down. But something is wrong.” Her brow wrinkled. “One is trying to change him. To make Eddie fight for him. “

They both looked at eachother with grim determination. Seems their time to rebuild and recuperate was up. 

—-

The plan they ended up with was similar to last time’s, except this time they had all their heavy hitters back and everyone together in Hawkins, not spread out over the country. Hopefully that was enough to ensure their success.

El thought she could use what Vecna was doing in Eddie’s head to fight him, like she had with Max. That meant one team would be staying with her in the Rightside Up, guarding her while she challenged Vecna to a rematch. 

Even though Dustin protested this heavily, with Joyce and Hopper back, the adults managed to outvote him and this time the kids would all be staying back.

Two teams would be going into the Upside Down, one to destroy Vecna’s physical body, just like last time, and the other to retrieve Eddie. 

After some discussion, Nancy, Hopper and Joyce ended up on team ‘Kill Vecna’ as the people with most experience handling firearms and traversing the Upside Down, while Steve and Robin were somewhat surprisingly voted to go save Eddie as the only ones left that knew exactly where his body was.  

Finally, Jonathan and his new friend Argyle elected to join the kids in standing watch over El and keeping an eye on Max in case Vecna tried to go for her in some last ditch effort to save himself.

Time was of the essence, so with the plan made, they hurried to put it into action. They used the gate formed by Fred Benson’s death as Eddie’s trailer was still being watched and the lake was bad enough the first time. Once through the gate the two teams exchanged determined nods and got on with their separate missions. 

Steve and Robin carefully made their way through the forest towards the clearing where Eddie had died. Finding him was easy enough, the hard part was the waiting. El had to use this chance to defeat Vecna before she could wake Eddie so for now they would just be guarding his body, ready to get him out as soon as possible. 

The time seemed to move endlessly slowly, minutes seeming like hours as Robin nervously kept her eye on the path they had come from, while Steve looked in the direction of the trailer, ready to jump at any movement from the trees. 

Nearly half an hour, which felt more like an eternity later, a sharp intake of breath came from between them.

Both Steve and Robin whirled around at the sudden sound, weapons raised, only to relax when they looked down to see Eddie curling around to his side to let out a rasping cough. In just a moment they were both at his side.

“Harrington? Buckley? Wha- What’re you doing here? Where’s Henderson?” His breathing was picking up and he was getting more and more panicked.

“Hey, hey! Don’t worry! Everyone’s okay now! We were just waiting on you, Munson. You can’t follow directions for the life of you, huh? What was the one thing I told you not to do? Be a hero. And of course that’s the first thing you do.” Steve haltingly joked, trying to break the tension.

It didn’t work.

“I swear I- I was trying to buy you more time and there were so many bats and- and I’m pretty sure I was gone. Like kicked the bucket, left this mortal coil, game over, don’t let the gates of hell hit you on your way in, gone! Like for fuck’s sake, I even made Henderson promise to take care of Hellfire!”

“Yeah, that was pretty messed up of you. Kid really took it hard.” Robin put in her two cents.

Eddie stared at her incredulously. “I don’t think you hear what I’m saying. I was dead!”

“Don’t worry, that’s normal around here. You get kinda used to people dying and then coming back to life,” Steve started counting off people on his fingers, “Like this all started with Will Byers dying, but then he was alive again, then a demodog ate Dustin’s cat, El brought it back, Hopper died, took a bit but he’s back, Vecna got Max but don’t worry she’s good now. With you all fixed up, we got the whole gang back on their feet!” 

This did not seem to clear anything up for Eddie who was still staring at them like they had gone insane. 

Robin took it upon herself to explain it a bit more clearly.

“You remember how we mentioned the girl with superpowers? That’s El. She can use her powers to bring people back from the dead. As soon as we were all back in Hawkins and had a bit of time to recover, we put together a new plan and launched a second attack on Vecna. El says he was trying to turn you into some kind of minion but don’t worry we got to you before that could happen. El fought Vecna in his mind and Hopper, Jonathan and Nancy killed his body and then El brought you back. Does that make sense?”

“Not really.” Eddie deadpanned.

“Well we don’t really have time for you to get it. We need to get out of here dude. So chop-chop, let’s get moving.” 

Steve pulled one of Eddie’s arms over his shoulder while Robin kept an eye on their surroundings and together they stumbled back to the gate.

Next.

[redflannelsheets]

maybe I’ll just write little letters to you here. I presume you won’t be coming back, so who does it hurt? You’ve probably blocked me elsewhere, though I’ve only sent two texts and an email, all kind, since the last time you talked to me, which was my birthday.

I wonder if you’ve had it hammered home that I’m some kind of obsession or addictive thing. That last idea really hurts, considering that I’m an autonomous human being with thoughts and feelings, a person who cares deeply for you and never wanted to influence you in any undue way. I’m not an inert substance granted unlimited power—through some outdated philosophy—to control you.

I wonder sometimes if I’m obsessed, if my inability to stop thinking of you every day is some problem I ought to solve. But then I think about how we grieve. When someone dies, and we’re still sad two years later, it’s considered pretty shitty to tell us to “get over it” or just stop thinking about them already. We didn’t end on bad terms, but you did ghost me, which is essentially a death of some kind. I think of you warmly, but I’m so sad about it that there are times I’ll find myself just sobbing in the middle of the day because I can’t send you a silly text or tell you about the book I’m reading or show you a picture of my cat or excitedly infodump about a new band I like. Just that silly daily stuff. I miss sending you a good morning text. I miss saying goodnight to you. I miss all of the things that made us friends, though you probably think I don’t care about that. I have to assume things because you won’t tell me, because you wouldn’t tell me to my face. All of a sudden I was just the bad guy, not someone who had been by your side for years, accepting that she had to be patient, so so so fucking patient, like preternaturally patient, the way no other woman was asked to be. Just wait a little longer. Please just be patient. And when I waited, and waited, and waited, and was finally told it could be my turn—you left. I’ve had to fill in the gaps. I assume you married her. I assume you had a child. I assume so much, things that keep me from talking to you, because I don’t want to be the one that ruins everything for you—again. Again, again, again. I’m just a life-ruiner, right? I’m just Trouble with a capital T, right? It hurts to think that this is all I am to you. that some stranger could take you under their wing and keep you from being kind to me the way I was kind to you, for someone else, someone you were never even truthful about.

I’m allowed to be hurt. I’m allowed to miss you. I’m allowed to grieve. I’m allowed to wish, no matter how slim the chance, that you might want to be my friend again. I’m still here and my welcome mat is still out. The bubble is still intact, though it’s cloudy. I miss the feeling of safety, of being warm and wanted, not just “warm and welcomed,” which was a slap in the face considering I was being pushed out the door simultaneously. I have trouble trusting people right now. I can’t quite believe people when they say they care about me. I gave you all of me, but I feel like maybe you were just laughing at me, maybe you didn’t mean any of it, maybe you hate me now. I can’t imagine sharing my body with anybody else. I used to demur in the most polite fashion when you suggested people would like my photos on 18+ subreddits, because I knew you were just paying a compliment, but it did make me feel kind of dirty and gross. Like you wouldn’t just accept the gift of me to you between us—I’m a commodity that other people would like. As if I’m not protective of my body, as if I’m not someone special; as if you really thought I’m just some attention seeker who doesn’t care where the attention comes from as long as it’s there. I’m demisexual, a kind of asexual, and yeah, I know we made fun of him for his asexuality, but I never could find the words to tell you. I almost did, but by the time I got them together you’d left. I can’t be sexual with just anyone, you mondo doofus. It was only you. Everyone else felt weird and wrong. But you? I was yours. And it felt right. And I miss that, because I’ll probably never be sexual with anyone ever again. Let alone post my contextless nudes for scummy one-handed fappers who don’t give a shit about what’s between the ears and what thumps beneath the breast. Did you ever really care about those things, or did you just tell me that to keep the pictures coming?

I miss you. I hate this. I hate how complicated everything feels. I still do things, I didn’t just lay down and die, but that hurts too. I have so much art to show you and so many books to tell you about and I can’t! Even if you were interested, which I doubt you are, you’d probably just delete whatever I send you in the interests of being “good.” And even this is supposition, because I just don’t know! How can you just leave me behind like this? Why was I not worth a relationship? Am I the wrong kind? Would your friends and mother hate me THAT much? Is loving a dopey fat-ass with no real career aspirations such a shame?

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. All I wanted to do was love you. And I do, still, even though I try to keep myself from it. I can’t hate you. I just want to hold your hand or hide my face against your chest and tell you over and over again how sorry I am.

I love you. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry.

💜

[sennenpharaoh]

“…” This time she doesn’t rise to the bait, simply sighing and closing her eyes again. No response.

She’s not an idiot, she knows that he wouldn’t have felt even half as bad about hurting her as he did Mahad. It felt like she was being cleaved open again to hear Yami put it like that though.

So she doesn’t speak. And she doesn’t look at either of them again, a thumb rubbing anxiously over the scar on her wrist. Just waiting for the spell to end so she can go and drown her feelings in ice-cream.

//that’ll probably be her done for your event, and save the rest for the others :)

He knew better. Trying to explain himself at this point would be moot. It would only end with Mana brushing it away normalizing it as just another incident. On top of other incidents. After all, there was no point in showing their "true" selves: her to him, and him to her. They weren't that close anymore. And he still remembers the last time he tried to reach out emotionally, only for her to-

No. He was the "Master" and she the "Magician". Those were the roles they had to play now. There was no other option. No other path.

And with the spell still active, Yami was doing nothing but blowing hot air, especially to someone who could care less about it. Hmm... wonder if it's because...

"You don't suppose she knows just who I am, do you?" Yami said, completely ignoring her presence. "Maybe she figured it out, or already knew and just hasn't told you-"

"Enough." Atem said, quietly. "The only thing that matters is that you are not her problem to solve. You are mine. And once you're locked away where you belong, you won't be anyone else's problem."

[fasterthanmydemons]

[ Speedster of the Galaxy ]

Mantis indeed believed that Wanda Maximoff possessed powers that were similar to hers, but it was nice to get confirmation from Pietro. It was reassuring. She knew there had to be others with abilities like hers out there. The galaxy was too big to believe otherwise. In any case, Mantis had not even realized she was reading Pietro until she had done it. Using her powers came naturally; she had to act with no hesitation during missions. If someone was struggling, she had to calm their mind. And Pietro was struggling. He wasn’t in danger, but he was hurting. She had used her powers instinctively.

Mantis frowned. “Your mind does not have cobwebs and dust,” she replied, not knowing why he would say that. “But your thoughts race unusually fast. I’m not sure if it’s a result of your powers or your anxiety since you are starting a new life, but they are so fast. On one hand, that is good; it means you should be able to keep up with us. But on the other… you are probably restless and have difficulty concentrating. That won’t be a problem when we’re on the ship, but it may be a problem during missions. But problems can be solved. We just need to figure out how,” she said, as if she couldn’t slow down his thoughts with a touch.

Then he explained why some people would get defensive around someone with her abilities. Her antennae became droopy and her eyes, sad. “I know. Some are sweet to me, but some others don’t want to be near me or touched by me. It’s not a reaction I love, but I understand.” Mantis blinked when he seemed to worry about her safety. “You are so kind. You just joined the team and you’re already looking out for your teammates.” She clasped her hands together; she forgot to tell him that she could do more than read others. Mantis shrugged one shoulder. “Most cannot hurt me easily. For now, they can only do so from a distance, it seems. People touch me at their own risk.” Strange words from someone who was just complaining about others not wanting to touch her. But it was true; anyone who tried to hurt her was giving her the upper hand simply by touching her. Her abilities were both empowering and isolating.

“Oh, thank you!” Mantis beamed when Pietro said she told good jokes. However, her head tilted to the side when he called her adorable. “Adorable?” she echoed. She didn’t understand. Rocket was adorable. His grumpy personality only made him more adorable in Mantis’ eyes. Groot was also adorable, and tiny. Mantis turned to look outside, wondering if Pietro was just kidding, but smiled when he agreed that music was wonderful. When he asked if she had favorites, she brought her hands to her cheeks. “Oh, so many! It is nearly impossible for me to choose. We have something called a Zune, with hundreds of songs by talented humans. You should be very proud of your species for being able to create such beauty.” When he mentioned knowing a god, Mantis’ eyes widened. If Pietro worked with him, he was probably nice. As long as he wasn’t like Ego, he was good. “Thor, god of thunder?” she repeated. “Well, lightning is very pretty. I would like to meet him someday.”

Then he called her cute again, and she blinked, looking behind her; perhaps Rocket was up and Pietro was actually talking to him. But there was no one. “Um… me?” A hint of mistrust flashed in her eyes. Opinions were subjective, of course, but it still bugged her - no pun intended - to think that he was just lying to get a reaction out of her. “May I touch you?” The words seemed to come out on their own, but her voice was eerily quiet. “I want to make sure you’re not lying.” Mantis slowly reached for his right hand, hesitation clear in her movements, holding her breath as her fingers stretched out…

“Oh my God!” Rocket’s voice announced his presence before anything else. “Turn that goddamn thing down, you fuckheads!”

Mantis blinked. She had been so distracted talking to Pietro, she forgot that the Zune was still going, just like it was when she initiated the conversation. Quill had probably fallen asleep before turning it off, and so, a few songs had played one after another. Now, the song echoing through the ship was Venus by Shocking Blue. A very pretty planet, although one they were leaving behind as well as Earth. Mantis drew her hand to herself. She had not touched Pietro due to Rocket’s sudden interruption, and she turned her head, hardly seeing her friend in the dimly lit ship.

“Hi, Rocket,” she greeted him. “The volume is low.”

“No, no, I know what happened. Quill’s dumb ass fell asleep.”

“I thought so, too,” the empath said with a nod. “Well… not… not like that, but that’s what I thought.”

“Shit woke me up!” Rocket complained, voice harsher than usual.

Mantis looked away. A lie. She had seen Rocket sleep in louder situations. Loud parties, loud songs. Right now, he was likely unable to sleep and using the music as scapegoat. Mantis did not blame him. She occasionally looked inside his head, when it was apparent he was restless in his sleep, and she couldn’t keep her eyes dry for too long. To say that his dreams were horrifying would be an understatement. Mantis never learned the details. She didn’t want to. But she knew they were horrifying because she knew what Rocket felt in his sleep. Fear. Rage. Loss. Pain. Hopes that would collapse, then angrily explode and fade away, like a dying star. She just wanted to hug him every time she saw him.

“I need a drink,” Rocket added, strolling by, but stopped and looked at Pietro. “How’s it going, new guy?”

Mantis beamed, leaning a bit closer to the speedster. “He’s showing interest in you,” she whispered, happiness in her voice and expression.

“Makin’ small talk, hm?” Rocket couldn’t hold back a yawn. He didn’t sound as tired as he was. Mantis knew that.

“He is not afraid of my powers,” she told Rocket gleefully. “And I told him we’re all bad seeds to make him feel welcome.”

“Yeah, bet that makes anyone feel welcome,” he responded, scratching one of his ears. Upon noticing the proud look on Mantis’ face, he clarified: “I was being sarcastic.”

“I do believe it made him feel welcome. He said he likes it.”

“He was probably being sarcastic too. Who feels welcome among bad seeds?”

“Other bad seeds… or good seeds who feel like bad seeds.”

“Bug, you spend way too much time around your plants,” Rocket remarked, patting Mantis’ shin.

Mantis saw an opportunity to pick Rocket up and she took it. She held him in a tight hug, her chin resting on top of his head. “You are so adorable!”

“Oh, fuck’s sake. Put me down.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. The first few times Mantis had done it, Rocket would yell threats, insults and profanities, punch, kick and bite, before being subdued by her powers. With time, he had stopped fighting it. He didn’t fully accept her hugs yet - he hated being seen as cute - but at least he would no longer resist her affection like he used to.

“As I was sayin’… I need a drink,” Rocket repeated, walking away. “Sorry for interrupting your small talk, it’ll happen again.”

Mantis waved her hand at him and waited until he was gone. “He is the cutest,” she grinned. “I would hug him all day, every day, but… you know. Stuff to do.” She giggled, her gaze returning to space. With Ego, Mantis was valued not for the person she was, but for what she could do for her father. All while Ego kept the most immaculate illusion of perfection for visitors. Being around someone like Rocket or any of the Guardians, who were so openly flawed, who were not formal or even polite, who would lay their imperfections out so they could be seen from galaxies away… It all brought something new to Mantis’ life.

__________

Pietro chuckled as she took what he said literally. He really had to watch what he said around her. “No, is… is just figure of speech. Asking if you found something good or if there are cobwebs in my head, is like, asking if you found anything of value in there or if is only junk. It was just to be funny.” Did his explanation help or just make her more confused? Well, at lest he tried. He didn’t have a problem explaining himself to Mantis, he was learning. With other people, he sometimes got defensive because he felt like he was being mocked or patronized, but with Mantis, he understood that she was just genuinely curious and innocent.

“Is probably because of what I can do,” Pietro said when she brought up his racing thoughts. “Is so that when I am all over the place-” He suddenly zipped around the room a few times, leaving a trail of blue slipstreamstuffs all around Mantis, before coming to stand in the same place he was and casually continuing his sentence like he never left, “-I don’t run into anything or trip over anything. Is so I can think on the spot. Have to be able to process everything super fast or I run into things.” He then smiled rather sheepishly. “Not... that sometimes I still do not run into things... because I do...”

When she brought up having trouble concentrating, though, he sighed. “Yeah, I do have trouble focusing and stuff.” He didn’t want to say that he thought that was just because he wasn’t very bright. It was too embarrassing and shameful. “I don’t think you can solve this problem, but thanks for thinking about it. Is just that... usually is fixed with medication, I’ve heard, but medication doesn’t work on me. My body processes it too fast and it just...” He made a wooshing sound. “...goes right through and does not have any time to work.”

“Oh? Do you have poisonous skin or something?” he asked when she said others touched her at their own risk. His eyebrow rose a bit. “Well is okay, don’t worry, I won’t touch without permission anyway. She seemed to be confused about her being adorable. “Yeah. I think so,” he said. “I hope is not insulting to you, if is bad in your culture to say. In mine, it is nice to hear. But if I offend, please let me know.” He was beginning to think that maybe it was offensive, because when he called her cute, she seemed to react even worse. “Sorry, I... I didn’t mean anything bad...” he said, but when she wanted to touch him, he knew why. “Sure, go ahead. You touch me, though, not me touching you. Since you said that was bad to do.” As if there was really a difference. Nevertheless, if she had been able to touch him, she would feel that, indeed, he thought she was cute, and adorable, and very sweet and personable. And he was very much enjoying talking with her. She made him feel welcome.

Instead, Rocket interrupted. Usually guys like this annoyed the shit out of Pietro, but Rocket he thought was okay. He seemed to be offensive in general to everyone, and therefore, in Pietro’s book, he was offensive to no one. There was a difference between having an abrasive, boisterous, and edgy personality, and just being a flat out dick, and so far he felt like Rocket was the former. Pietro chuckled as Rocket’s voice entered the room before he did. “Oh, is good music, you know you want to dance. Don’t fight it,” he teased him. He nodded at the greeting. “Is going okay. Talking to Mantis, looking at space, you know how it is. Listen, have you tried ear plugs? My sister uses these soft ones at night so I don’t wake her up when I can’t sleep and start listening to music. Maybe that would work for you too?”

As Rocket teased Mantis about making Pietro feel welcome, Pietro actually nodded enthusiastically. “She is making me feel welcome. More than your complaining furry ass has,” he said, but the playful smirk on his face said he was only joking. He then laughed as Mantis forcibly hugged Rocket. Despite his protests, the creature seemed to not hate it... too much. Pietro could tell. “I want a drink too. Unfortunately alcohol wears off too fast on me. I cannot get drunk,” Pietro said, shrugging. “Is no fun if there’s no buzz. Maybe if I drank several gallons...” he wondered. Okay, but now he was actually seriously wondering if that would work. He rubbed his chin in thought.

He waved as Rocket left again. “Cute... wouldn’t be the word I’d choose, but he is amusing. He keeps the energy up, is for sure,” was Pietro’s assessment. “Maybe you should hug him every day. I think he needs it. For the record... I also give great hugs, so... just saying. Or at least my sister says I do. She’s really the only one who lets me hug her.” And now he had no one to hug. That... was a thought he didn’t need right about now. “Hugs are nice,” he said rather quietly. “Um...” he said awkwardly, trying to get back to happy energy. “You wanted to touch to verify your cuteness...” he reminded her, holding out his arm to her.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“You’re not my real mom !” - Batkids x Fem!Reader (Batmom)

Synopsis : A story about those few dreaded words : “You’re not my real mom”, said by the batkids, to you, in a the heat of a moment. And the aftermath of it all... 

This has been in my draft for ages. I hope you like it :) : 

my masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

DICK 

It happened so fast. In a quick moment of anger. 

A flash, a bang, words said too quickly to truly realize their meaning. 

Dick was frustrated because he felt you didn’t understand him, his point of view. And you were trying to explain to him that it was not okay to...

You know what ? 

You couldn’t even remember what he did. As if whatever it was, it was all wiped out of your memory when he pronounced those bone chilling words. 

You only remembered you were “scolding” him, just like parents do when their child did something he wasn’t supposed to. You rarely told Dick off, even when he would burst into fits of anger. 

You always told him : “When you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son, I love all of you.” 

And you meant it. Often, you or Bruce would take the brunt of his anger, without batting an eye. After all, that child went through a lot. It was totally normal for him to lash out at times. 

He saw his parents died right in front of him. It wasn’t a trauma that would be solved that fast (Bruce was proof of it). “The magic of love” couldn't simply cure someone who was so deeply hurt. Although it helped, over time. 

Yes. Time. 

It would take time, and support, for Dick to heal. And you were here for it. Here for him. 

But there were times, you had to say something. 

Usually, it was when he was being too reckless. 

Your son could be overzealous, and go too far. And you were so worried about his safety and wellbeing...Very rarely, you’d have to “scold” him. 

And you couldn’t even remember what you were lecturing him about that evening (even if you had an idea it was about being a little more careful). All you remembered was...

“You’re not even my real mom ! You can’t tell me anything !” 

And him turning away from you, crossing his arms and refusing to look your way. Which was good anyway, because you were an instant mess. 

“Ok”, you managed to say, wondering how the hell you were able to get the words out. And then you left. Feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. And your heart slowly breaking. 

Bruce found you two later, both clearly feeling down... 

Dick stayed quiet the entire time they were on patrol, and Bruce instantly knew something was wrong. He wasn’t there during your fight, and he only arrived when you were already gone, surprised that you went to bed so early in the night, and didn’t stay with your son downstairs until it was time for patrol... 

The man didn’t push the boy, waiting for him to open up if he wanted to. And as usual, Dick did finally speak up. In a weak voice, as they were surveying the city from a rooftop, he said :

“I told her she wasn’t my real mom...” 

“Ah.” 

Bruce felt the urge to go back home and console you, knowing that you were certainly a mess, right now. But he had to take care of his boy, too. 

And oh, oh Dick looked so crestfallen and sad as the meaning of his words slowly etched into his mind. 

“I told her she wasn’t-she wasn’t-but she is I just-I-I don’t know why I said that-I...” 

The little one was on the verge of tears, and Bruce understood why. 

He probably understood more than anyone else. 

He told Alfred “You’re not my dad !” more than once, and remembered how even the stoic butler looked, whenever he said it. 

He remembered the hurt in his eyes, the resignation too. The “very well sir”, said in a neutral manner, but the stiff way he’d left the room. 

It took Bruce a while, to finally realize that Alfred WAS his father. That he raised him, most definitely. And was always there for him during the hard times. 

That he even helped and supported him, when he came back after disappearing for years, saying : “I’m going to dress up as a bat and wipe crimes from Gotham”. ...How many parents would be that understanding, eh ? 

Alfred knew Bruce. And always tried to do his best for him. So whenever Bruce would yell at him that he “wasn’t his father”, it hurt. 

Bruce knew it. He noticed how Alfred’s entire demeanor would change. He’d see a light go out in his eyes. 

“Very well, sir.”, a small bow, and the stiffness of his body as he left...

And Bruce remembered. 

The guilt and the pain he felt himself, as he regretted ever saying those words. As he knew they were going to hurt, which is why he said them in the first place.

It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt his adopted father, oh no. It was that sometimes he just...He just felt so angry ! Like everything was unfair ! And he missed his parents so much ! 

It was a force stronger than him, he wanted Alfred to leave him alone, and pushed him away...”You’re not my dad !”. So yes. Bruce understood little Dickie. He understood you, too. He knew how you must’ve felt, he saw it enough happening to Alfred. 

Once you’d get home, he would take care of you. But right now, he had to care for his son. 

Right here, on one of Gotham’s rooftop, the scary and mighty Batman slowly kneeled down, and took his boy in his arms, holding him tightly. 

Dick didn’t need more to throw his arms around his father’s shoulders, and hold him strongly too, with all his nine years old strength, sobbing slowly. 

Bruce drew soothing circles on his back, and whispered : 

“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok. It’s ok. Calm down, things are going to be ok.” 

Your husband lost count of the time passing. Were they there, holding each others while Dick was sobbing uncontrollably, for ten minutes, or for ten hours ? He didn’t know. And he didn’t budge.  

His son needed him. Just like once, he needed Alfred... 

Dick fell asleep in his arms, and that night, Bruce came home early. 

Not like he was going to stay out anyway, knowing you were probably devastated, all alone in your room... 

************

Dick fell into a deep sleep, and didn’t budge one bit even as Bruce came down the building, rode home, and put him into bed. 

Bruce’s guess was that all the pent up feelings truly exhausted him. Also, he knew that crying could be tiring. And freeing, in a way. 

Putting the boy’s blanket all the way up to his chin, Bruce laid a kiss on his forehead and then rushed to your shared bedroom... 

You had cried too, but you were not asleep. 

Your eyes were puffy and red, and your cheeks marked with your tears. You seemed surprised, when he came in, and looked at the clock. 

It was only midnight ? 

“Hello, my love.” 

He sat down next to you, and from the way he ran his fingers through your hair, and caressed your cheek, wiping the salty tears from it...You knew he knew.

He knew how devastated you felt. How those simple words that would mean nothing for many, truly wounded you. 

He knew how much you loved that boy, how as soon as your eyes laid on his little face that terrible night he lost his parents, you felt like he was going to be your son one day. 

He knew how much you’d sacrifice for that kid’s happiness, how far you’d go to keep him safe...And so, how hurtful him telling you you weren’t his real mother must’ve felt.  

There was no need for words. 

He knew what to do. He laid next to you, and you just cuddled up to him, letting him wrap you up in his warm embrace. 

He drew those same soothing circles on your back than he did on Dick’s. And whispered : 

“He didn’t mean it. He truly didn’t. He loves you, you know. I love you too.” 

You fell asleep to his words of love and reassurance, finally letting go after hours of not being able to sleep, reenacting the terrible scene in your head over and over again, making yourself feel worst each times. 

************

You woke up around 4 am, with Bruce’s arms wrapped around you.  

He was asleep and escaping his grasp (without Alfred’s help) took you a little bit..but you managed to leave without waking him up. 

He did groan a little at the loss of your warmth, and grabbed your pillow to hold it against his chest. Which was extremely cute, and oh how glad you were to be the only one to see this side of him. 

You went down to the kitchen and... 

Dick was coming from the other door, opposite to the one you took.

The kitchen had three access. Two doors facing each others, and one on the third wall. The door you took was because you got a little lost and did a detour through the drawing room. Dick, however, came from the door you should’ve come from too, which was the one you accessed from the West Wing third corridors, which was directly under your bedroom, and Dick’s. 

The boy probably stood up a little after you, and while you got lost in your own home (again), he took the normal way and...

Boom. Here you both were, arriving in the kitchen at the same time. 

There was a small silence. Awkward. And...

Your heart tightened. 

Dick was sort of cowering backward in fear. Fear of what ? 

Oh. But of course. 

“He didn’t mean it.” 

Bruce whispered to you many times, before you fell asleep. And the way Dick looked at you, worry in his eyes...He was thinking you were mad at him. And the regret in his pupils was as obvious as that fact. 

“Ice cream ?” 

You ask him. His eyes widen a bit, and you can almost see the gears in his brain trying to piece everything together. You’re...not mad at him ? 

Of course you’re not. You felt sad, and lost, and hurt, yes. But never did you feel any hint of anger. Of course not. 

You take out his favorite flavor from the freezer, and settle a bowl in front of one of the high stool around the counter. 

At that time, Dick was so tiny. A very short little bean. And he’d stay small for a long time, only having a sudden spurt when he was around fifteen. 

He climbed onto the stool, and watched you as you gave him some ice cream and a spoon, and then sat down next to him to eat some as well. 

The silent was slowly turning less awkward. 

Slowly, and unsurely, Dick picked his spoon up and looked at you. And completely missed his mouth, the ice cream spreading on his cheek instead. 

You turn around to look at him, ice cream on his cheek, and he’s clearly embarrassed, as a tint of color slowly rises on his face. 

You don’t really know why, but something snaps in you and you start laughing. And laughing. And laughing. 

Because honestly, the kid missing his mouth as he picked his spoon up full of ice cream, is kinda funny right ? And also, all the tension and stress you felt suddenly broke with this simple, silly thing. 

Unsure at first, Dick just looked at you. But your laughter quickly spread to him, and soon enough, you both were bursting out in laughter. 

Anyone not knowing what happened, would probably think you were both crazy, laughing that hard for no apparent reasons. 

Instinctually, you ruffle his hair and Dick gasps. You really weren’t mad at him ?!

You realized what you did, and slowly, both your laughter subsided. There was a small silence as Dick stared at you, and you stared back, and then : 

“I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it !” 

He says in a small voice, and he can’t add anything else as you just pick him up and hold him tight against your heart, and you say : 

“I know.” 

And it’s all he needs to realize you’re not really mad at him, and although he messed up and hurt you, right now, you were both on the path of recovery... 

Next morning, Bruce woke up alone in bed, which greatly distressed him as usual (he often woke up first). But a gut feeling was telling him that...

He found you asleep with Dick in his bed, holding him tightly. 

************

After that event, you sat down with him, so you could have a serious talk about the underlining issue this raised. Talk about something important. 

“Little bird, you know I love you, right ?” 

He nods, but still cannot speak quite yet, doesn’t have the energy to. 

“I want you to understand something. Something vital. Are you listening ?” 

He nods again, his eyes fixed on you. And he’s listening, oh he definitely is. 

“It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to lash out. It’s ok to not be alright. It’s ok to make mistakes.” 

He nods, a little slower than before, and you can see his eyes slowly becoming wetter and wetter. 

“It’s ok. It really is. I’m here. And I love you. Even when you don’t want me around. Even when you push me away. I’m here. And I always will be. Ok ?” 

He nods one last time, unable to hold his tears, and then his little arms latch around you, and he refuses to let go for well over an hour...

Oh. Sweet, sweet boy. 

Your son. 

************

Even now, at age twenty seven, Dick still often think about this day. And the regrets are as burning as they were back then. 

He often thought about it. 

Whenever you did something for him, went out of your way to make him happy, or were just there for him, always...

He’d have a flashback of this day, and feel nothing but regret and anger at his younger self. 

And then you’d read him like an open book. Know exactly what he was thinking, and would slowly shake your head, and say : “I know I often said that, but I will say it till the day I die if I need to :  when you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son. I love all of you. Even when you’re a little bit of a jerk.” and you’d wink at him, making him chuckle and feel a surge of affection toward you. 

Kind of like the ones you’d feel sometimes. A sudden urge to hug your family, to tell them what they mean to you. Both you and Dick understood since a long time that with the life you all lead, you never knew what could happen, and should never waste a “I love you” if you felt like saying it. 

Well, the apple never fall far from the tree ? 

Yes. Because you were his mom. And nothing would ever change his mind on that. Ever. 

JASON 

"Well Jason, you did it you idiot !” 

He says to himself in the mirror, and oh he could’ve punch himself if it was possible. He took his desk chair, and threw it across his bedroom, letting out a scream of frustration. 

He went to his desk, and threw everything that was on it on the floor. He then went to his book shelves and...

There. Your book. The one you wrote for him. 

Jason fell to his knee, holding his head in his hands, crying softly. 

Yes. Yes he did it...He ruined this one chance life gave him to have parents. 

He hurt one of the person that meant the most to him, one of the person he loved the most...His mom. You. 

Because you were his mom, no matter what he told you, in that moment of anger as you scolded him after he did something dangerous during one of his patrol. 

He hadn’t been allowed to go out for long, by then. And Bruce had already scolded him before for the very same thing, so when you did it too, he had enough and...it happened before he could think about it. 

He was angry, about the lack of trust and about the sermons, and his brain tried to hurt without even thinking about it. Triggered by years of living in the streets, where he had to think quick and act right away, and then suffer the consequences. If he wasn’t fast enough, it could be the end of him... 

A gut reaction triggered by years of being all on his own, having to fend for himself. His brain went into overdrive, “hurt” is what it set into motion. 

“You’re not my mom !” 

And that was it...

As he saw your face fell, and his father’s face turn angry, he knew. He knew he messed up. He messed everything up, as usual !

“Jason !” 

Bruce called, but Jason wasn’t about to stop. He ran out of the cave, right to his bedroom. Oh, oh but if only he stayed a little longer. He’d realize that his father wasn’t angry, just hurt as well. 

Hurt to see the woman he loved being hurt. 

Not angry. Ah but being in pain could sometimes look like you are mad ? And Bruce hadn't been able to hide his frown as he heard Jason’s words... 

“Let him be, Bruce.” 

You say in a weak voice. You knew Jason, you knew sometimes he needed to cool down on his own. That he could be impulsive, but always came around. 

Ah. But that time, he needed everything but to be alone. 

Because, as he thought he ruined his one chance at having a real family, he thought... 

“Better to leave before they throw me away !” 

He knew he could never bear to face you and Bruce, as you’d certainly tell him you were “un-adopting” him. Jason saw it happened before. Someone thinking their adopted kid was “too much”, and sending them back. 

It was awful, of course. But it happened. For real. And Jason knew that life could really suck...But her couldn’t bear to face you as you’d send him away. 

Worst, what if you just send Alfred and that was it ?

No. Jason would leave before you could do that. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. 

Filling his backpack with some clothes, and snacks, he opened his window and slid down the gutter all the way to the ground, and then ran away into the night. Tears trailing down behind him, as he left behind the one place in which he ever felt safe, warm, and loved. 

In the meantime, you and Bruce were unaware of that, and slowly falling asleep in each others’ arms... As usual, Bruce was there for you. 

************

“Jason ? I thought I wouldn’t see you anymore after you got adopted by dem fancy fellas. Are you here to get some work ?” 

“No.” 

“Really, why did you come then ?” 

“I didn’t, I’m just passing by.” 

“Nah, don’t believe it. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy !” 

“TAKE IT BACK !” 

As he ran away, Jason went back to a place he thought he never would need to. A few intricate alleys, in the Bowery, under the main city. 

The Bowery, a filthy underground neighborhood, hell on Earth for many. Although things did improve when Batman started his work a few years back. 

“Wow there tiger, relax.” 

Jason came in this specific area for only one thing. Retrieve a few items he left behind, thinking he would never need it again because he was leaving behind this life. 

He had a hideout, not far. In which he hid some materials to survive in the streets. He thought he probably had to go back to stealing cars’ tires...Although maybe he should change it. Thinking of what happened last time he did this hurt his heart. 

He knew that next time he’d get caught stealing tires, the person wouldn’t end up adopting him...Anyway, he didn’t want any other parents but you and Bruce. 

And he messed that up so bad, by being so mean to you ! 

“Listen, it’s not because you got all fancy schmancy that you can talk to me like that. Remember who’s boss in this part of town.” 

Batman did a lot of good to the city, but also, by getting rid of some big players in the “crime business”, he allowed small time thugs to climb up the ladders...It felt, at times, like there always was someone to replace whoever Bruce just put behind bars... 

The man who was talking to Jason, used to be a small time criminal. Turned boss, when the Batman kept arresting all the people above him. Jason used to “work” for him, bringing him watches or jewelry that he’d exchange against cash. 

Damn. He never thought he’d ever see him again... Oh and he definitely didn’t think this through. 

As the new boss, who’s name was Johnny Clancy, told him that he’d forever be a “bad boy”, Jason saw red and...getting mad at a crime boss was a bad idea. 

Before he could even think about an escape plan, Jason was surrounded by dangerous armed men. 

“How dare you talk to me like that ? Mmm. The Waynes adopted you right ? Mmm. They’re loaded. Probably would pay a fortune to get you back uh ? And to think they’re gonna give me a lot of cash to get a little runaway brat back haha. Because that’s what you did right ? You ran away ? As you always did before mm ? You know, I observed you Jason Todd. I saw you run away from anyone getting close. I saw you.” 

Jason’s heart didn’t need anyone to push and squiggle the knife he felt in around some more. He had just lost his family. Did he need more reminder that he always fucked up ?! 

“They won’t give you any money, they don’t want me anymore...” 

But Johnny didn’t believe him, of course. He told two of his thugs to grab the boy, but Jason, by instinct, dropped them to the floor with a few well placed kicks and punches. 

And that was enough to unleash Johnny Clancy’s wrath.

See, he was a new boss. He had to assert dominance. And an eight years old kid making a fool of him and his gang ? That wouldn’t go. 

So what if he had to off a child ? Anything to keep climbing up, and leave the Bowery’s slums. 

************

“Have you seen Jason ?” 

Bruce asks you, a few hours after your fight with him. 

“What ? No, I thought he was with you ?”

“No, he skipped his training and I thought he might be with you, apologizing for what he said yesterday ? You know, sounds like something he would do.” 

“I haven’t seen him since, you know. I thought he was avoiding me...” 

“He would never.” 

“Bruce...” 

“He would never, my love. I know what he said hurt you, but I’m sure he’s regretting it right now. You should go see him, he’s probably sulking in his bedroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if you meet him up the stairs as he comes down to say sorry.” 

“Bruce...” 

Your husband comes to you, and takes your hands in his. 

“You know him. He’s impulsive, and a little abrasive sometimes. But he’s a sweet child. And he regrets his bursts, you know it. Tonight was just tough, we both scolded him, he’s not used to it.” 

“You’re right.” 

“Of course I am, I’m-”

“I swear to God if you say “I’m Batman” I’m going to smack you.” 

Bruce smiles softly at you, glad he managed to at least made the tension go away a little. He pecks your lips quickly, and watches you as you leave to go to your son’s bedroom. 

He was about to go down the Batcave, when you came back, panicked : 

“He’s gone ! Jason’s gone !” 

Ah. Bruce knew that placing a tracker in his children’s molars was a good idea. 

************

“HOW HARD IS IT TO CATCH A FUCKING KID ?!” 

Jason runs as fast as he can, without looking back. He managed to break the line of thugs coming at him, and escape in-between to of them who didn’t pull their guns out quite yet. 

They were shooting at him. With no hesitation. 

Johnny was set on proving he was an unscrupulous boss. To earn everyone’s respect. So what if he had to shoot a kid ? It’d send everyone a message. He’d back off from nothing ! 

Jason turned in an alley and...Damn it ! He must’ve taken a wrong turn at some point, it had been a while, since he roamed the Bowery’s alleyways...

He was faced by a wall, stuck. And they quickly caught up to him. 

“Wooouh, you’re fast kid. And you’re sneaky. Too bad you’re such a brat, I bet you could be a nice addition to our-”

Johnny Clancy never finished his sentence. In fact, he never could properly speak after that night. After getting his jaw broken into a thousand pieces by the Batman’s fist. 

Bruce had come down from nowhere, with...you in his arms ?! 

This was the first time Jason saw you wear the costume he saw a few times in the Batcave. He thought you wore it only to go to the JLA’s watchtower, to hide your identity. Not that you could actually...fight ?! 

And wow, you definitely could hold your own ! You made a few disarming pass, taking the guns away from all the men before they could even react, and letting Bruce finish them off with well placed kicks and punches. 

Oh and that night, the Batman unleashed his rage and unforgiveness full force. How dare they touch his son ?! 

You didn’t have anything to envy from your husband either, however, as you worked through Johnny’s gang rather fast too. 

That night, the both of you exterminated (figure of speech, of course, neither of you ever killed, that was the one big rule...but there were never a rule against breaking a few bones) Johnny Clancy’s gang, who dared to even think of hurting your precious son. 

Jason, holding his backpack tight against him, couldn’t believe his eyes. You two came to save him ? But...why ? 

He messed up. You’d surely not want him around anymore ! 

Once Bruce dropped the last man, you rushed to Jason and before he could utter a sound, took him in your arms. 

“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re safe baby, I’m so glad you’re...” 

Your voice broke at the end, and you chocked, the emotions too strong and squeezing your throat. 

Jason didn’t understand. And through his surprise, he managed to say : 

“I thought-I thought you’d never want to see me again, and that you wouldn’t want to be my mom anymore.” 

You hold him even tighter, as you feel Bruce get down on his knee and bring the both of you in his arms. 

“Oh sweety, never. Never.” 

You say, not letting go. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...” 

Your son manage to choke out, before sobbing profusely and holding on to you and Bruce. 

“I’m just glad you’re safe...it’s ok, it’s ok it’s already forgotten...” 

And it was. As soon as you saw that Jason-That your SON, was missing, you forgot he ever told you “you’re not my mom”. You forgot and it truly didn’t matter anymore, as all you cared about was to find him, and make sure he was safe. 

“Jason, oh my little Jason, I’m so glad you’re safe...”

Wether it is a conscious things or not, he returns your embrace fiercely, holding tightly as he looks up at you. It almost feels like he wants to make sure you really are there. And won’t go anywhere. Like everyone else did in his life. 

Jason was tired of losing those close to him. Those he cared about. Sometimes, he’d push them away, by fear of getting attached again just for life to rip them away from him. So he held onto you, as you held him back. 

Tightly against your heart. 

“Mom...” 

This was the day Jason Todd realized something very important : He wasn’t alone anymore. He had parents who loved him, and he loved them back. 

So much. 

And they’d never let him go. Never. 

************

Years later, this love he had for you and Bruce, turned out to be the very reason he became “Red Hood”. 

From that day he told you : “you’re not my real mom !”, he felt like he belonged. Like finally, the people he loved loved him back. Like he was cherished. And then Bruce didn’t avenge him. He let Joker get away. And you let him do it. You, the people he trusted and loved most in the world, betrayed him...

He felt like he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth Bruce breaking his one rule to avenge him. He wasn’t worth it...He didn’t matter enough. 

Jason felt so angry. For years. He wanted to hurt you, to hurt Bruce. To show you what it felt like. What HE felt like. 

But Jason has always been a strong one. You knew it. You told him enough times : “you’re a fighter, my Jason. You went through so much, and always came out of it. You lost a lot on the way my little one, but you never give up. You never give up...” 

You never give up. 

Love. 

It’s what drove him to become the Red Hood. It’s what drove him over the edge. What gave him so much pain. 

Rather, the feeling of not being loved. The thought all you and Bruce said to him, about how much you cared and loved him, was a lie. 

Yes. The thought that you lied about loving him, is what broke him. What made him find every way possible to truly, truly hurt you two.

You never give up. 

He was so angry. But he never could quite give up on his family...that’s why he didn’t stay with the Al’ghuls. That why they didn’t keep him. 

He could never forget you and Bruce. Move on. 

He could never. 

Jason was a strong lad. Strong enough to see past his hate and need of revenge. His pain. His deep trauma. 

It took a while. But the change came from him. He’s the one that gave you another chance. And it allowed him to realize...nothing was a lie.

And you got your son back.

Because you showed him. You showed him nothing was a lie.

When his dad never gave up on him even as he killed more and more people, and even as Jason saw him completely erase people who used to be close from him as soon as they killed once. When you refused to let him go. When Bruce kept going back, even as he knew Jason would fight him and try to hurt him. When you pleaded with him, even when you knew his answer would be the same... 

Jason never gave up. 

But you didn’t either. 

“You’re not my mom”, are words he never meant. Not even once. Not even when he was the “old” Red Hood, the one that killed mercilessly any criminals, and that was trying to be exactly what Batman wasn’t. 

“You’re not my mom”, even at his worst, at a time he suffered greatly, Jason never meant it. He never did. 

And ultimately, it’s this filial love, and the love you and Bruce had for him, that brought him back out of the dark pit the Joker pushed him in...

TIM 

Tim knew that his overly pragmatic mind sometimes could make him sound tactless. That he had trouble, sometimes, expressing himself properly. 

He knew that what he said, although it could be the factual truth, could be perceived as not being very nice... 

He knew, yet sometimes, he couldn’t help himself. 

“But you’re not my mom.” 

He told you that day, as you asked when was the “mother/child day” at school. 

Tim’s school had a day each year, during which every mother would come and do different activities with their kids. You did it with Dick and Jason, and it was always great fun, and amazing bonding time. 

By then, Tim had been with you and Bruce for over a year now. And he did, see you as his mom. However, he was a little too set, at the time, on rules and specifics. In the “mother/child day” rulebook, it “specifically” said that the actual child’s mother had to come, not the nanny or anyone else. 

In Tim’s mind, although he did see you as his mom, he thought the school wouldn’t. For him, the way the rules were written, were clearly stating his birth mother had to come. And the official adoption papers were not processed yet. Those took quite a while. 

He had been living with you for over a year. He called you and Bruce “mom and dad”. He truly considered you two his parents. But the official papers were not done quite yet. So to him, in the eye of the law (be it a silly school rule), you weren’t his mom quite yet. 

So when he said : “but you’re not my mom”, that’s what he meant. Of course, you misunderstood...

How could you guess that Tim was thinking that only his “birth mother” could take him, because officially right now he didn’t have a mom, just “guardians”...

His mother was dead. Has been dead for a while, now. And even if she wasn’t, Tim knew she’d never come at this event...She wasn’t the caring type of mother. Not like you. Which is why it really bummed him out that those rules were so clearly stated like that !

What Tim misunderstood, is that this specific rule had been added to the rulebook because many family would send their nanny, or a big sister, instead of the mom. Because Tim was of course in Gotham’s Academy, full of rich families, in which the moms were very busy...

Which is why such a day existed. Some kids spend quality times with their mom only on this school day. Nowadays, everyone made an effort to come (the fact you appeared, the famed (Y/N) Wayne, a few years back, with Dick, and it made all the papers’ headlines, might’ve influenced others to participate too).

To tell the truth, Tim was very disappointed that you couldn’t go with him, and was considering asking the principle of the school to do an exception to the rule and allow you to go with him.  

He was already fomenting a plan in his head to convince the headmaster to let you come as his mom, and as usual when he was planning things out, he completely disconnected from reality. 

And therefor, didn’t see how your face “closed”, and your eyes turned sad. The boy was typing away on his computer, as if nothing had just happened, as if you didn’t feel your world crumble as he flat out told you you weren’t his mom...

Of course, it was all a misunderstanding. He meant it as “officially”. Not about his actual feelings. 

For some reason, the way he said it so nonchalantly hurts you more than when Dick and Jason yelled at you that you “weren't their mom”. Because at least, in your eldests’ cases, you knew it was in the heat of the moment. 

That it was because they felt frustrated and sad. 

But Tim just told you : “But you’re not my mom.” matter of factly, and moved on. And it hurt. 

It hurt so much, because that boy...You loved that boy, of course. And considered him your son for sure. Part of your heart, now. Part of your family. And he felt so far, right now...so far... 

You left the room and he didn’t even notice. 

Did he really not see you as his mom ? Was he just calling you “mom” to imitate his brothers ? ...You didn’t know, but it hurt. 

It hurt so much. 

************

You found Bruce in his office, doing some paperworks for Wayne Inc. When he saw your face, he immediately smiled, your presence lighting his whole world...But then he saw your expression, and he frowned. 

“What happened ?” 

************

“Mom ? MooOOooom ?” 

Tim had been looking for you for the past hour, but wasn’t able to find you. You weren't in all your favorite places ! Did you leave the Manor without telling him ? It was unlike you. 

Finally, he found you. You were in a room that was rarely used, but which was conveniently close to Bruce’s office, and had a couch. 

Laying on top of your husband, you were fast asleep as Bruce was going through his paperworks, letting you holding onto his waist as he kept working. 

When he saw the boy come in the room, he smiled at him. And it was hard, not to smile at Tim, seeing his own big wide smile. 

Tim was missing a few teeth, that fell not long ago, and it was absolutely the cutest, when he smiled widely. He looked so happy, eyes sparkly and genuine smile. It felt wrong to Bruce, to think that this sweet boy didn’t see you as his mom...

Maybe it was all a misunderstanding ? Wouldn’t be the first time. Although, Bruce knew how sometimes Tim could be brutally honest, and say the facts in a matter of factly way that could be very harsh on the uninitiated. 

Your son was holding a cardboard sheet almost as big as him, and looked very excited about something. He slowly approached you two, and said, whispering, yet the excitement was clear in his voice : 

“Has she been asleep for long, dad ?!” 

He called Bruce dad. Without an hesitation. And it felt so genuine. Like he was relishing in the word rolling off of his tongue. And it was often the case, with Tim. His parents, when they were still alive, never really noticed his presence... 

And sometimes, it could be even worst to have parents who acted as if you didn’t exist, than caring parents who passed away. Bruce realized this. 

“No, she just closed her eyes.” 

Bruce answers, looking at you. And oh he couldn’t possibly know how soft his expressions as as he gazed at your sleeping face. 

“Oh...” 

Tim was clearly disappointed. His shoulders fell down, and he looked on the floor, looking defeated.

“What is it, champ ?” 

“Well, I wanted her to-Oh ! Mom !” 

The rumbling of your husband’s chest as he spoke is what woke you up. Not the actual sound of their voices, just that low vibrations reverberating in his chest. 

You opened one eye, then the second, and was greeted by your youngest son’s face being very close to you. As Tim saw you were waking up, he kneeled down next to the couch, settling his piece of cardboard next to him, and approached you very closely. 

His smile and sweet expression filled your vision. And you felt even more hurt, as you saw him so happy to see you, to know he didn’t really think you were his mom. 

It was clear he cared for you. And loved you, and being with you. But to him...You weren’t his mom. And that was so painful. 

“I got a plan mom, I got a plan !” 

A...Plan ? For what ? You don’t even have time to ask him, and, still a little hazy as you just woke up from a short nap (that you took after crying exhausted you), you raise a little from your husband. 

You exchange a curious look with him, as you see Tim spring to his feet and get a hold of the piece of cardboard that is almost as tall and large as him. 

He turns it around and...

Your heart drops. 

It’s a lot of very detailed drawings, maps and words about...about...

“This is how we’re going to convince the headmaster of my school that you’re really my mom, even if officially you’re not yet !! I thought we could start with logic first, and then go down the path of pathos if he really doesn’t change his mind !” 

What ? Your brain is trying really hard to comprehend what’s happening, although it is starting to put two and two together. 

“The rules say that the mom HAS to be the one who comes, and the way they wrote it suggest that they wouldn’t accept someone who isn’t yet official. But I think we could convince that, in our heart, we’re already an official family, right ?!” 

Tim looks at you, and then at his dad, a little worry in his eyes (what if for them, he wasn’t their son yet because the paperworks weren’t finished and officials quite yet ?!?!). Bruce cannot help but smile, and nods, feeling his heart melt (a rare occurrence). 

And you. You have exactly the reaction he expected you’d have. You sit up, put the cardboard aside, and drag your son into a tight hug that makes him giggle and exclaim : 

“Hahaha mom wait I can’t breaaaathe !! Mom !!” 

But he hugs you back, knowing that this means yes, you do consider him your son already, paperworks or not, and you will probably follow his plan to convince the school to-

“Mom ? Why are you crying ? Mom ?” 

You can’t explain it to him. You feel silly, but also so emotional and touched. You thought he didn’t think of you as his mom. But he did. Oh he did, and was actually worried about technicalities of rules and...So sweet. That boy is so sweet. 

Carefully, Tim dries your tears, and look curiously at his dad, his eyes clearly asking : “Did I do something wrong ?”

You’re still unable to speak, as you hold onto him, and Bruce ruffles his son’s hair saying : 

“She’s just too happy, champ. She’s just too happy.” 

CASSANDRA

"You, not my mom !” 

She screamed. You never heard Cass raised her voice before. And yet, here, she screamed at you. And then closed her bedroom door right on your nose. 

And you felt it in your heart. That specific pain that you wished you’d never feel again. That kind of hurt you wished you’d never feel ever again. 

It happened just liked it did with Dick and Jason. You were “lecturing” her about putting herself in needless danger, and she felt frustrated at the fact you “didn’t trust her”. 

It wasn’t true of course. You did trust her. And you knew she could hold her own. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, and scold her if she really scared you... 

It was pure instinct. You couldn’t stop yourself from telling them off when you felt they went too far. You did it with Bruce too. 

Once, he threw himself in the way of a bullet to save you, and once he recovered enough...Oh you were so mad at him. 

It’s not that you wanted to take that bullet, of course. You knew it was also instinct that made him move to save you. But in truth, you would rather take a thousand bullet than lose any of them. Bruce, or your children. 

And sometimes, it was hard for them to understand this. To get why you were so worried, when you accepted fully their night activities. 

Why you monitored the batcomputer, if it was to scold them when they put themselves in danger ? 

Ah but they didn’t understand that you only got “mad” when they put themselves in NEEDLESS danger. Pushing themselves too far that one night, being careless with something, ignoring their own safety to finish a task... 

You couldn’t help but be afraid. And your fear turned into you scolding them. And sometimes, on each sides, things boiled and...

“You, not my mom !” 

The meaning was clear. As Cass slammed her door right in your face, you knew not to push it further, not to tell her anything more. 

Maybe you should’ve ? Should’ve open her door, and continue lecturing her so she’d understand her life was valuable ? 

Cass put herself in danger more than any other member of your family, because she was raised as a weapon and thought of herself as an “expendable”. You weren’t mad at her for this, of course not (but oh, David Cain probably should never cross your path, it wasn’t pretty, when you were truly angry). 

You were just worried. And unfortunately, being a parent was complicated and sometimes, your worry turned a little overbearing for your kids. 

This was a mistake every normal caring parents made. Wanting what was best for their children, sometimes not realizing they’re going too far. And you ? Your family wasn’t normal. 

Your children were vigilantes. Your worries were tuned up to the max.  

Being a parent was hard. And sometimes, both you and your kids were frustrated. It happened. In any family. 

It was resolved rather fast, most of the time. A little conversation, understanding and indulgence, and boom. Sorted. 

However, there were times when things would go a little too far. Wether because one of you was tired, or didn’t feel well etc etc...

Tonight, was such a time. 

“You, not my mom !” 

Cass didn’t even register what she said. She was just mad and frustrated, and said the first thing that came into her mind. Her hand slammed the door shut before she could even think about it. 

And here you were. In the corridor. In front of your daughter’s door. 

Hurt. And feeling as devastated as you did when her brothers told you the same thing. You would think, after a few times of this happening, it’d be easier, right ? Well. No. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. 

As usual in those instances, you went to seek comfort in the arms of your husband. 

************

Cassandra didn’t feel ok. 

In fact, she felt absolutely terrible. 

She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt that bad. 

When she went to look for you and apologize for her behavior, she found you in her dad’s arms, crying, and it made her run away...

She couldn’t face you, knowing she truly hurt you like that. 

The worst thing is, she knew she would hurt you by saying those words. Yet she still did it. It was as if she couldn’t control herself. It was like an ugly force took over her, and made her say those words. 

But she knew. She knew she’s the one who ultimately decided to say them. She’s the one that pronounced them. Under the anger. 

Anger. 

The ugly force. 

She turned around in her bed, holding onto the plush toy you gave her shortly after her arrival. You said “every child should have one” and that this one made you think of her. 

It was a fox with bright colors. And it still smelled like you. 

She was about to fall asleep, when she heard a knock on her door. 

“Can we come in ?” 

It was her older brothers. 

Dick, Jason and Tim. 

It was rare, to have them all in the same place nowadays, what with how busy they all were. Dick with Bludhäven, Jason with the gods only knew what really (the gods, and you and Bruce...but sshhh, that’s a secret), and Tim with college applications. 

So Cass immediately understood that they heard about the fight she had with their mom. 

And she felt a rush of shame come over her. She felt sad too, because maybe they’d be mad at her ?

Cassandra didn’t think she could bear to break your heart, and have her precious brothers mad at her all in the same day. 

She almost told them to leave. But she didn’t have the strength. 

They surrounded her, and their presence was so...soothing. 

And then they spoke. They each told her the story of the time they told their mom those few dreaded words. 

“You’re not my real mom !” 

They told her how awful they felt, and how they knew they hurt their mom. They told her that...well, they did have the best mom ever. 

You never held any grudge. Ever. Especially not against your own family. 

You never even mentioned again the fact they told you this awful thing, you never even mentioned once this, under any circumstances. 

Her brothers stayed with her for hours, talking about their feelings on the matter. Telling her it happened. That everyone wasn’t always on their best behavior...

It was hard, for Cass, to not be “good”. She did so many awful things when her biological father raised her to be a weapon, she felt like she had to catch up so much on those years of “badness”. 

She often felt like she was evil, and could never caught up to everything. Like she was doomed, and could never become good. 

On that, Jason told her she was wrong. That everyone could change, and no one was born truly evil. Environment, and the way you’re raised, matter. And what she did...wasn’t her fault. She was forced to. If she really enjoyed doing this she’d never become a Batgirl. She would never be part of this family. 

She often felt like she was a bad daughter. 

On that, Dick told her she was wrong. He too, felt like a bad son, when he “replaced” his parents with you and Bruce. He too, felt like a bad son when he would get so mad while you would do anything to make him happy. He too, felt like a bad son...on so many occasions. But he grew. And thanks to you mainly, he realized he was just human. Mistakes are human. And it’s not being a bad son, to sometimes feel so hurt that you lash out. That your trauma are so strong, things sometimes are tough. 

She often felt like she couldn’t fit in, and would never fit in. 

On that, Tim told her she was wrong. Him too, felt too different. He already had parents, they were alive, he just wanted to help, he didn’t have any friends...But in this family. In this family, everyone fitted in. Because you made it so. Bruce made it saw. You both accepted any flaws, and differences your kids might have. You loved them unconditionally, they all knew that by now. 

And Cass...Cass didn’t want to hurt you. 

They knew that, too.

It was an accident. In the heat of the moment. She didn’t mean it. Of course, you are her mom. Of course...

It felt good, to have her brothers there for her, when you couldn’t be. 

************

Later that night, after her brothers left, Cass slowly exits her room and take the known way to yours and Bruce’s. 

You are both there, and she knows her dad stayed because you felt bad. He always stayed with you, when you were feeling down. And vice versa.

Cass always told herself that, later, if she ever found a significant other, she’d want her and them to have the same kind of relationships than you. You and Bruce set up a rather high standard for whoever would come into her life. 

But that was another story. For now, she was opening the door slowly, scared of waking you up. But you were awake. 

Bruce was asleep, deeply. As usual when he felt your warmth against him. But you were not. Cass could see you slowly and absentmindedly caress your husband’s hair. It was soothing to both of you. His silky smooth dark hair were soft in between your fingers, and helped you get your mind off of the pain and focus on the sensation, while for him...Well, it put him asleep, when you did that. 

The door creaked a little, and you abruptly turned your head towards it, ready to fight and...You instantly recognize your daughter, even in the dark of the room. 

She doesn’t need to talk. You manage to roll over Bruce, who then by instinct roll too, and therefor you create a little spot for your daughter to climb in bed with you. 

You turn around in Bruce’s arms, and slowly wrap them around your middle, instead of your shoulders. You turn towards Cass, your back against Bruce’s chest, and tap the small spot you managed to create next to you. 

Cass understands, and climbs in, facing you. She lays her head on her arms, as you do the same. And then she mouthes : 

“Sorry mom...” 

And that’s all you needed. You gesture for your daughter to cuddle up close, and she does. By instinct, Bruce lets go one arm off of you, and grabs his kid to bring her closer. He is still asleep, but it wouldn’t surprise anyone that his subconscious holds onto the two most important women in his life like so. 

And there she is. Cass feels safe. And warm. And she hears your heart beat softly. And she knows it partly beats for her. 

And partly for Bruce. And partly for Dick. And partly for Jason. And Tim. And Damian. And Duke. And Alfred. 

It beats for your family. 

For her family.

Family. 

She has a family. 

And you are her mom. 

Her biological father never hugged her, never told her everything was going to be alright, never... 

Cass never felt safe and warm. 

Like she did, right now, held by both you and Bruce. 

“Family...”

She whispers, as she slowly falls asleep. And you’re the only mom she ever wants to have. You are, her real mom. Always have been, always will be. 

DAMIAN 

Damian didn’t really think this was a big deal, at first. 

Just like his father, he often made the mistake to think that people around him will simply understand his true meaning. 

When he told you : “You’re not even my real mom !”, he obviously didn’t mean it. He was angry because you told him he couldn’t go out on patrol for a few days, as he was grounded for skipping school and going to work on cases instead. 

“But school is boring, I already know everything ??” 

“It’s the principle of it, Damian. You can’t just do what you want whenever you want, this is not how it works. I don’t feel like we’re extremely strict parents, so when you betray our trusts like that, it has consequences.”

Bruce kept out of the argument, ready to jump in however if you needed him to affirm  that yes, actions have consequences and although you two are pretty lax with your son on many fronts, he still has to listen. You and Bruce made clear rules when you first adopted Dick, because you realized your lifestyle was anything but normal, but it didn’t mean your children could just do anything they wanted. 

Neither of you wanted them to turn into privileged little brats. Or to think they were above everything. And you were right, by skipping school so much, and lying about it, Damian did betray your trust. 

Understanding actions had consequences was a big step that took a while, with Damian. Unfortunately, he grew up in an environment that indeed taught him he could do whatever he wanted, no matter if he hurt people on the way... 

Unlearning all this, was tough. And you understood that. Which is why you let things go a lot, with him, and only slowly told him about things. Gradually teaching him about your values and principles. 

However sometimes, like in this case, you needed to be firm and strict, because otherwise he’d just keep doing it knowing it had no bad consequences, and you didn’t want him to simply not go to school anymore...School was important for his social development, you realized it as he made friends and...

And simply, an eleven years old kid couldn’t just roam around all day as he saw fit. That’s it. And so here you were, trying to explain this to him. And that’s when he said it. 

He scrunched up his nose like he always did when he was angry, and then, turning his head away from you, throwing his Robin boots at the back of the cave. 

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not even my real mom !” 

And then he bolted out of the Batcave, leaving you behind, with a broken heart and feeling guilty...What if he hates you, because you were too harsh on him ? 

Bruce, that night, did not go out on patrol either, and stayed with you. Of course, he did. 

************

The fact he still listened to you and didn’t go out, made him thought you knew he was just angry and didn’t mean a word of it. 

To him, it was so obvious he thought of you as his mom, and that he said this just because he wanted to have the last word, that he honestly didn’t think much of it. 

Sure he was frustrated and angry, just like any kid was when their parents said : “no” to them. But he didn't mean it... 

He didn’t really see you of the entire day. Finally, he decided to go see his father to ask him what was up. 

“Father ?”

“Yes ?”

“Is-is mom ok ?”

“Well, what do you think ?” 

“She doesn’t seem ok.” 

“Do you know why ?” 

“Did you do something to upset her ?” 

Normally, Bruce would feel vex at this statement. What, did he really do things to upset you that often ? Yes and now. Sometimes,  he would get on your nerve, and vice versa. It happened, in relationships.

But it was never anything major. Not anymore at least. Because now, when he had his “dark days” and could be a total jerk, you knew how to handle him. You knew not to take his bullshit. 

Yes. Normally, Bruce would pout like a child, at the fact his son thought that his mom was feeling down because of him. But not today. No. 

Because he knew that what made you sad, was something important.

Unfortunately, Damian inherited from him his bad habit of thinking others will understand his meaning. 

Like, when he tried to push you away at first so you wouldn't get involved in his crazy life, what he really wanted was for you to get closer...Or when he told you that he was fine at times, all he wanted was for you to hold him and take care of him etc etc...The first time he told you “I love you”, wasn’t with words, but by not going on patrol one night, to stay with you. And he thought you’d immediately understand that he truly loved you...Truth was, it wasn’t as obvious to you (or anyone really) than it was for him. 

And Damian had the same problem. Doing things that he thought would obviously tell his meaning, his real feelings, when really...No one but him would get it. 

Although you became quite good at deciphering your husband’s true intentions, you could still misinterpret things sometimes. 

And yesterday night, when you grounded your son and tried to teach him a life lesson...You definitely didn’t see that he didn’t mean what he said and just wanted the last word. For you, he was seriously meaning it. And that’s why you were avoiding him a little, because it was too hard to...to... 

Damian’s words truly hurt you. You often were scared he could never see you as his mom (even if he did call you mom now and clearly cared for you) because of how he grew up. You’d never give up on him, of course, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt when he pushed you away or pretended to not care... 

Damian thought it was obvious, that his actions actually reflected how much you meant to him. That without you, he’d be lost and honestly wouldn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t. 

But it wasn’t obvious. 

Bruce sighed, and then smiled : 

“Since when is she acting odd ?” 

“This morning. She didn’t kiss me goodbye when she went to work !”

It felt like such a serious issue to your boy, in that instant, that Bruce wished you were there to see his reaction. You’d instantly know he didn’t mean it, when he said you weren’t his mom... 

But you couldn’t quite face him. You didn’t really avoid him or try to hurt him by not saying goodbye. Of course not, you were an adult, and you definitely knew that doing to others what was done to you is pointless, and mean. And why hurt someone the same way they hurt you ? You’re no better than them uh... 

“Can you think of anything that might’ve upset her ?” 

“I spilled my milk a little, but cleaned it after. I didn’t let Alfred do it like last time. I woke up a minute late, too. Jason hasn’t called in two days, but he was there yesterday afternoon. Dick said she messed up her pumpkin soup but he was just joking and she knows. Tim fell asleep at the breakfast table. You clinging to her this morning apparently made her late, I heard Alfred say it. Um...Cass um...Cass didn’t do anything bad really...None of those things sound like it would upset her though ! She really looked sad this morning, not like herself at all !” 

Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It was pretty cute, how Damian often acted as if he didn’t care about anything, yet no details would ever go past him. Especially not when it came to his family. He always noticed, when one of them felt down in any way, and tried to help (in his own way). 

Hell, he probably woke Tim up and told him to sleep more and take care of himself. Called Jason and told him to call his mom. Scolded Dick to not make this kind of jokes again. 

This was just the Damian that was privy only to them. A sweet child, who unfortunately often had trouble expressing his true feelings. 

Just like his father. 

Damian would often brag about his siblings, and how awesome they were, to his friends (notably to Jon, who didn’t have any siblings). But he’d never tell them right in front of their face. 

Bruce tried to help Damian see what was wrong, and said : 

“What about last night ?” 

“Ugh ? What about last n-OH !” 

Damian replayed the events in his head, and remembered his anger and frustration. But most importantly...What he told his mom. 

“I have to find mom ! Where is she ?!” 

Damian looked absolutely panicked, which was quite unlike him. Bruce answered : 

“She’s at work, she had a meeting with her editor. She should be back soon, though.” 

And on that note, Damian ran out to do god knew what, as Bruce shook his head and...Well, he just knew things would turn out alright. 

************

Alfred almost fainted, when he saw Damian tear off his beautiful flowers from his garden. He almost ran out, and had a very “get off my lawn !” moment...up until he realized that the boy was probably doing this for a reason. 

Oh. Oh his poor lilies.  

Hopefully, this really was for a good reason. A very good one. One so good, that it would stop him from strangling his grandkid, hopefully...

************

When you came home, Damian was waiting for you at the front door. He had a bunch of lilies in his hands (that you were pretty sure were from Alfred’s precious garden) and he looked absolutely frantic. 

He ran to you, almost threw the flowers in your arms, and yelled : 

“I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! YOU ARE MY REAL MOM ! I WAS JUST ANGRY ! I’M SORRY !!” 

You were a little confused as to why he was yelling, but before you could continue he took a drawing out of his pocket and added : 

“THIS IS A DRAWING OF YOU ! I MADE IT FOR YOU !! YOU ARE MY MOM ! YOU REALLY ARE ! PLEASE FORGIVE ME !! I’M SORRY !! DO NOT BE MAD AT ME !!” 

Still confused as to why he was screaming, you bend down to look at him eye level, settled the flowers on the floor, and said : 

“It’s ok Damian. It’s ok. We all get frustrated sometimes...I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, but it’s ok. It happens.” 

Damian’s face showed great relief, and he leaped into your arms, yelling : 

“I LOVE YOU !!” 

You winced as he screamed in your ear, and said : 

“Why are you yelling, little one ?” 

Damian took a step back from you and said : 

“BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF AND JASON TOLD ME THAT SAYING THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAY MIGHT HELP !! AND HE’S RIGHT !! I LOVE YOU !!”

Damian told you he loved you before, in certain moments. When he got really hurt, when you were really hurt, if he felt really sad...It was always a moment full of emotions. And it was still rather hard for him to say the words. 

It didn’t really surprise you that Jason would have such a technique. Yelling his feelings. Yep. Sounds like him alright. And it did seem like it worked for his little brother too. 

Only you and your close family would know, because you were the only ones to truly know him, but those two were more similar than others would think. And it wasn’t because they already killed before. Oh no. On the contrary. 

“I love you too, my little one...” 

You say, as he goes back for another hug, clearly relieved you’re not mad at him. From this day on, he swore to himself that he would really try to tell others’ what he truly felt, even if it meant yelling it at them. Because other wise...otherwise it’d create this sort of terrible situations, in which his mom thought he didn’t think of her as his mom ! 

He couldn’t have it, anymore. Many “I LOVE YOU !!” were heard in the Manor, from that point on. 

DUKE 

“You know you can tell me anything, right ?” 

Duke doesn’t know why this time, this made him snap. 

Today was the anniversary of when his parents got “jokerize”, it had been two years already...And not one step closer to cure them ! He was so frustrated, sad, and lost. And you noticed. 

Duke tend to try to keep things inside. Not that he didn’t want to bother anyone, more like he just thought he HAD to handle things himself. Like it would make him stronger, and therefor, he could protect those he cares about. 

He could protect them, unlike when he could do nothing but watch as his parents fell into madness...He couldn’t bear the thought of this happening to you, Bruce, or any member of this family ! Not again. 

He couldn’t bear it...

“You’re not even my mom ! Stop acting like you are !” 

Are the words he heard himself scream at you as you asked him if everything was ok, and if he needed to talk. As you were caring, once again, and he just couldn’t...he couldn’t stand it ! Not today.

Not today. 

He immediately saw on your face the way you shut down, and took one step behind. The way your face “closed”, and as you said : “I understand.” and left the room, your body stiff and your face inexpressive (which was very unlike you), Duke felt it. 

The guilt. 

Right away.

When those dreaded words were said by all your other kids, they were young. They were all under the age of ten, and the immediate consequences of their actions didn’t truly registered. 

But Duke. 

Duke was almost eighteen. And he knew. He knew he hurt you. 

He felt the need to run after you and apologized, but there was something stopping him. 

After all, it was true right, you weren’t his mom ! His mom was still alive, and she could be cured one day ! HE ALREADY HAVE A MOM ! 

So what if you always cooked him his favorite meal, or knew exactly what his favorite food was ? So what if you would go out of your way to grab his favorite burger from his favorite joints when you knew he felt down ? 

So what, if you were always there when he was sad ? Cheering him up with comfort food, kind words, and just your presence ? 

So what if you knew exactly what would make him feel better, which movie to put on to put a smile on his face ? 

So what, if you spend entire night right by his bedside when he got really hurt, or when he was sick ? 

So what if you’d listen to him at any time of the day or night, and always took time to give him your thoughts on the matter, and truly, truly listen to what he was saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak ? 

So what if you’d make him laugh, smile, feel loved, even as he felt so alone and isolated, especially after he discovered his powers ? 

So what if you never made him feel like he was different because of it ? 

So what if you opened your house’s door without a second thought for this unknown teenager who was also a meta ?!

So what...so what...so what if you obviously cared a lot, and if you...if you... 

He already had a mom. And she might get better one day. 

He couldn’t have two moms. 

...

...

Right ? 

What would happen when his parents would be cured ? Forget all his feelings for the Waynes ? So it’d be easier to pretend he wasn’t part of the family, right ? 

It would be easier. 

Yes. 

But it was too late. 

It was too late... 

He ran after you. Caught up with you in the corridor. Tears in his eyes, he said : 

“I’m sorry, please don’t go...”

And fell into your arms. Almost eighteen years old, yes, but still needed the support of a mother. Of his mother. 

And you were there. You’d always be there, no matter what happened in the future. And he needed you, especially in that moment of frustration, where he really missed his parents, and was starting to lose hope to ever find a cure... 

And you were there.

Who ever made a rule that you could have only one mom anyway, right ?

BRUCE 

They did tell him “you’re not my dad !” too. And for him, it was as terrible as for you. If not worst, on certain aspect. Especially since he had a hard times truly expressing his feelings more often than not. 

He knows how devastating it can feel. He knows it even more, because not only did he feel it as they told him “you’re not my dad !”, but he also felt it as he told Alfred “you’re not my dad !”. He knew the feelings from both sides. 

It enhanced everything. 

Of course, in general, Bruce always felt things more than anyone else around him. He was born like that. Hypersensitive. That’s why he worked so much on hiding his true feelings, and appearing detached and cold. 

It’s much easier, than to always being overemotional. Of course, it didn’t mean he felt nothing. On the contrary, he felt everything. He was just better, nowadays, at pretending he was okay. At pretending he didn’t care. 

Ah. But you existed. 

You. 

The only person that could always see through his bullshit, and know when he was lying and fake smiling. 

Between the two of you, there has always been something. Even before you were together. It was an irrational and irresistible attraction. 

An unbreakable bond. Always supporting each others. 

You have no idea how you’d live without him. And he couldn’t even fathom a world without you. It’s a world he wouldn’t like very much...  

Even during the worst times, and oh you went through a lot together, you knew at least...at least you’d have warm arms to fall asleep in. At least, you’d have each others. 

Bruce had known pain so strong he sometimes wished death would just take him away. And then you came in. Ready to put up with his shit, and to not give up on him even when he gave you every reason to. 

And oh, oh he gave you back everything times a thousand. You knew he’d never let you fall. Not alone. 

Whenever something hurtful as your children telling you two you weren’t their real parents happened...It’s when you truly realized how vital you were to each others. 

When you fell, Bruce was there to catch you. 

When he fell, you were there to catch him. 

Better to fall together, than to stand alone. 

__________________________________________________

And here we are :). I hope you liked it ? Don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback and reblog if you want to ^^. I’m a little afraid I disappointed y’all for some reasons haha. I couldn’t explain. Self-confidence crisis hahaha. I finished writing that late, and exhausted after a hard week, maybe it plays into account ? Anyway, I really do hope you enjoyed your time reading this :). And thanks for reading, of course ^^. 

[callimaria]

Hello there!! Some people probably know that I keep on requesting for evil reptilian but hey I can't help it-- :'')

Can I request a oneshot with Luchino on his "Horrendous" skin with an s/o (gender neutral if that's ok) who gets easily overwhelmed but they don't show it to others so they solve it by spacing out, things can be too much for me and maybe there are other readers that are like this too, I hope this is ok and take your time dear :')

lizard man makes me happy, he’s got his own little spot in my heart

tw: none

characters: luchino

the both of you were in a small, crowded room covered from the floor to the ceiling with bookshelves. they were tall, and certainly held many books — some looking like they would rip immediately if held, others affected by age to the point some pages would crumble into dust — but they didn’t capture your focus at all.

not like you were focusing on anything at all. you sat on an old, wooden creaky chair, gazing down at a desk. your foot tapped rhythmically to a beat no one knew, pausing at times.

you could vaguely hear the flipping of a few pages, fresh ink being scrawled onto paper in the background; obviously, that all had to come from your lone companion (and lover), luchino.

you don’t remember how, or when you met him, not with you currently spacing out. but truth be told, he was fairly terrifying in the eyes of others.

that mask with eyes that seemed to glare daggers into your soul, the crystals placed all around his body, his ‘monstrous’ physique and how he doesn’t look human at all, the intimidating tail that swung around time to time…

but you had gotten used to it, with a few more meetings. you had even grown to appreciate what was hidden behind his looks! (you’re not quite sure of what he thought about that, hard to read his face when half of it is… well, covered a lot.)

you enjoyed his company, really, but at times there were just moments where you just couldn’t handle anything anymore — so you resorted to spacing out to clear your head and whatnot. it gained a few nasty comments in the past, when you were caught; which didn’t better the experiences, but you were trying your best to put everything behind you. (sort of.)

besides, you had a more important focus: luchino himself. over the friendship you two had fostered, it bloomed into something else, sometimes making you wonder what’d it be like if you never met him. but other times those thoughts turn bad, turn rotten — and you find yourself agitated already.

though, trying to cope on your own from being overwhelmed, and without tipping anyone else off on what’s wrong? it’s just plain difficult sometimes. especially with him, who can read you like a book so easily.

you knew luchino favored honesty over many things, but you were used to solving your issues on your own, even if situations were too much for you. it happened ‘too much’ and it just felt like it’s not something to be shared if it’s such a common occurrence.

your finger tapped on the dust-covered desk a bit, frantic, different from the slow pace it was going before. the bulb from the lamp right beside you flickered, light weakening from time to time.

the long lasting silence in the room was suddenly interrupted by his voice.

“do you want to talk about it?”

taken by surprise, you stumble over your own words. “i.. uh.. what?”

you didn’t dare turn around, knowing he’s staring right at you. you don’t think you’d even be able to meet his eyes.

“you were drilling holes into the wall with your eyes alone,” his tone wasn’t harsh like you assumed it would be. (quite the opposite, honestly, you could have sworn your heart skipped a bit.)

thinking over whatever you could possibly say in this situation, out comes a defeated sigh. everything you want to say? you just can’t find the words to even start explaining.

noticing your inner turmoil, he offers a suggestion. “would you just like to take a walk instead? to clear your head?”

“…yeah.”

with his arm outstretched, hand for you to take; you can’t help but notice a small, comforting smile on his face. (that contrasts heavily with his menacing appearance.)

“..and i can hold your hand for it, right?”

“of course.”

for once, the books he paged through were where he left it — a bigger priority being attended to.

this is later than i wanted it to be but heyyy i got it out

finding the feel of both him n the skin combined was a little difficult but i think im satisfied (dunno if u r tho)

have fun holding his hand :]

[v-hope]

Tiger Lily

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, smut, established relationship, College!AU

Word Count: 11.3k

Summary: After finding out your boyfriend was the one to secretly leave flowers in your seat every week back in high school, you have many questions he’s willing to answer. And after finding out the reason the two of you had not gotten together back then was because of your ex best friend, the two of you decided that, first, you were never letting anyone else get in between you, and, second, you were making the most out of your time together from now on.

—Alternarively, the one in which you and your boyfriend finally get your place all to your own and he decides he’s not letting his nonexistent sexual experience stop him from having his way with you anymore.

Warnings: Virgin!JK (a.k.a. male virginity loss), fingering, cunnilingus, handjob (kinda), penetrative sex, protected sex, very slight (male) overstimulation, shy and confident guk keep switching places (when do they not), just very lovey dovey, very intimate.

A/N: Helloo, this is part 33 of my Social Media AU Tiger Flower, but you can still read it if you don’t follow the story. I’m actually shocked by how long this turned out to be but wbk I’m soft as hell for this couple 🥺 so please give it lots of love because I put a lot of effort in this ksñaks. I hope you guys enjoy! Oh, and also, I’m bolding the first and last sentence of the smut part, so if you don’t wanna read it just skip what’s in between the bolded words lol.

“I’ll get it” Yoongi announced when someone called on the door, leaving you and Jimin alone on the sofa as he rushed up to get it.

As soon as he opened it and Jeongguk stepped inside your shared place, bowing politely to your friends before his stare fell on you, you felt your heart race. Saying nothing, you gave him a closed mouth smile, having him do the same at the sight of yours. Although it hadn’t been longer than a week, it had been the longest you had gone without seeing each other ever since you became friends, and, even though you weren’t really showing it right then —as for some reason you were nervous as hell to see each other again—, it was unbelievable how happy you were at the mere sight of one another.

“We were just leaving” Yoongi informed, catching up on what was going on. After all, you had told both him and Jimin that your boyfriend would be coming over to talk things out.

“We were?” Jimin asked with furrowed eyebrows. “I just got home”.

“Let’s give them some privacy” he tilted his head towards the opened door so Jimin would tag along.

“I can go to my room for that”.

“Yah! We all know your nosy ass will eavesdrop everything that way” Yoongi called him out, and you didn’t miss the way Jeongguk had to lower his head not to show his amused smile, being already used to your roommates’ endless bickering antics by now. “Come on, let’s go see Jin hyung at his pub”.

Simple as that, Jimin left your side in a heartbeat to go to the door. “Well, I won’t say no to drinking” he admitted, stopping right in front of Jeongguk and pointing an accusing finger at him. “Take care of my baby”.

“My baby” Guk corrected him, mumbling his words low enough for you not to hear.

Although, unlike you, Jimin did hear —for that had been your boyfriend’s intention—, he said nothing, instead glaring at him the way he always did whenever that discussion over you took place at least twice a week, and walking out of the apartment for once and for all. Yoongi, on the other hand, gave the two of you a small thumbs up before following behind his friend.

And just like that, with the sound of the door closing, silence was quick to take over the room.

This was probably the first time ever since you met that neither of you knew what to say. Fuck, this was probably the first time in your life you didn’t know how to start a conversation. And it wasn’t like you could go over there and kiss him like you were dying to, could you? You had not completely made up yet. That’s what he was here for after all. To talk, not to make out. Although you weren’t really against that idea, and he most definitely was not either — the way his eyes fixed on your lips even all the way over from the door was enough to tell you so.

It had been a good couple of days since you had last seen each other after all.

“You, uh…” your voice came out quite unsteady as you stood up, fixing the plain t-shirt and cotton pyjama pants you were wearing. “Are you hungry?” you asked, walking towards the kitchen and having him quietly follow right behind as you entered it. “Wanna eat something? Drink something?”

He shook his head no when you turned around to look at him, resting your hands on the counter as you leaned against it. “Just wanna clear up your questions”.

You nodded, for that was what he was here for after all, to clear everything up so the two of you could go back to normal. So you could go back to being the happy couple you both loved so much.

“So what are they?” he pushed it when you stood there with no signs of wanting to speak any time soon.

“I just…” you shrugged, making yourself comfortable by sitting at the edge of the counter. “Why didn’t you tell me before that you were the one sending me flowers back then?”

He pouted in confusion as he came closer to you. “When?”

“When we were friends…”

“It would’ve been out of place back then, petal” he explained. “We were just friends and you were into someone else. It would’ve been awkward for us and I really didn’t wanna lose you as my friend” his voice couldn’t help but come out rather bitterly at that, remembering all the thoughts that had invaded his mind when he first saw his chance to let you know it had been him all along, all the thoughts that kept him back from telling you.

“And when we started dating?” you tilted your head. “You had so many chances to tell me, Guk…”

“When we started dating I just didn’t think it mattered anymore” he confessed, unconsciously resting his hands on your knees. “I had you, I really didn’t care about it anymore”.

“You could’ve still told me…”

“And how was I supposed to bring it up? It’s not something I can just say out of nowhere” he pointed out, having you nodding understandingly. “And what was I supposed to say anyway? Hey there, I’m your flower boy?”

A light laugh escaped his mouth when you playfully shoved him away at his words, mocking what you had once told him was the confession you had been expecting from your secret admirer. Holding your hands, he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter, and hence, closer to him. Taking advantage of that, you intertwined your fingers, enjoying the familiar warmth of his hands as you admired the way he softly swayed them together.

“This is so surreal” you sighed.

“In a good or a bad way?”

You shook your head, not being able to give him a proper answer. “I just… I always wanted it to be you so bad, and for a good while I was sure it was you, but it made sense that you were into Sooyeon instead”.

Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows, the mere thought of ever feeling something for her making him want to gawk. “How could that have ever made sense?”

“She was more like you” you pointed out, rushing to make your point before he could snap at you for comparing the two of them. “Like, yes, she was popular and had lots of friends, but she was the most quiet out of all of us. Believe it or not, she was really shy back then, an—”

“And why would I have wanted more of the same?”

“Huh?” you were taken aback by his question.

“You’re saying she was like me, then I don’t understand why would I have wanted to be with her” he said as if it was obvious.  “If I barely ever speak and so did she… I mean, how would that have even worked out?”

You shrugged, not being able to help the small smile that had started curving up your lips. “Is that why you fall for loud asses like me? So someone else will make up for your lack of talking?”

He chuckled at the teasing tone in your voice, allowing his hands to travel up to your thighs and tenderly drawing circles on them with his thumbs. “Not really” your eyebrows knitted together at his words. “There were a lot of loud girls who would not shut up to save their lives in our class and I didn’t really like them. If anything, they annoyed the hell out of me”.

“Why’d you even want to be with me then?” you wondered, being genuinely curious as to what about your loud, chatty antics, made you different to the rest of your loud classmates.

“You really don’t know why I’ve always liked you?”

You shook your head no. “Why is it?”

Taking in a deep breath, he took a step back so he could collect his thoughts before answering your question. “I don’t think you even remember when I just transferred to our high school in the second year, let alone my first day there. Mrs. Kang made me sit on the empty table next to yours and then proceeded to pass around a surprise test, and me being me, of course I forgot my pencil case at home that day,” he huffed, causing you to chuckle under your breath. “So I just sat there internally freaking out because I couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone for a pen, like I couldn’t move and my voice literally wouldn’t come out no matter how hard I tried” a breathy laugh abandoned his lips. “And I was accepting the idea of turning in a blank paper when suddenly a pen was placed on my table. So my eyes followed your hand back to your table and there you were with your eyes stuck to the test, solving the math problems like you had not just saved me from failing on my very first day as the new kid,” you laughed at his dramatism, however, you managed to remember about that moment. “And then as soon as the class ended you were surrounded by people and you were all talking nonstop and I didn’t know how to give you your pen back, so I tried to slide it into your table but you caught me and told me I could keep it, that it was a ‘welcome present’, and then you smiled at me and honestly that was it for me, Y/N”.

“It was?” you wondered in awe, eyes shining when he nodded.

“I didn’t like loud and popular people up until then, which is kinda weird considering Tae’s my best friend” a throaty laugh escaped your lips at his remark. “But although you were those things, you always got me. You just… understood, in a way. Like, you didn’t pressure me to talk or made me feel bad for not doing so, like the rest of the popular kids did. If anything, you would try to make me feel like I wasn’t all on my own whilst leaving me alone like I wanted” he tilted his head, wondering if what he just said had made any sense, knowing you understood his point when you smiled ever so sweetly. “Like when you added me to your group project one time and let me send my part instead of having to go hang out with you and your friends for an entire afternoon, or when you would invite me to your birthdays along with the rest of the class and then proceeded to tell me not to feel pressured to go if I didn’t feel like it. And even now, ever since the beginning you made me feel good about not really being into partying and barely ever talking”.

“You’ve been more talkative with me lately, though” you pointed out as you mindlessly played with the hair at the back of his head. “Although this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk”.

He chuckled, playfully pinching your thighs. “Don’t get used to it”.

“I won’t, I won’t” you chuckled, planting a chaste kiss to his chest. “Anyway, you said I get you but I didn’t let you do your part of the project on your own this year, though” you reminded him with a feigned pout that he couldn’t help but find the cutest. “And I force you to spend time with me pretty much everyday now. Will you forgive me?”

Jeongguk let out a throaty laugh, leaning in just enough for his lips to press to your cheek. “I got to date you now thanks to that, so you’re forgiven” he planted another kiss to the curved up corner of your smiling mouth. “And funny how you think you’re forcing me when half the time it’s me asking to hang out”.

You giggled. “We love a 50/50 relationship”.

Tilting your head ever so slightly to take a better look at him after hearing him chuckle, you were greatly surprised by his lips pressing down on yours.

Although you had jokingly said that last sentence, it was not far from the truth at all. It wasn’t just you chasing after him and wanting to be with him all the time, but him wanting the exact same all the same. So you could tell by the way he was kissing you right then. It was slow, painfully slow, yet the way his hands were firmly cupping your face to keep you from moving away as he deepened the kiss, could not fail to tell you just how much he had missed you, needed you, those past few days you were apart.

Pressing one small peck to his mouth, you tugged at the fabric of his sweatshirt to pull him closer to your body, later wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and resting your face on his chest — a content sigh escaping your mouth when his arms did the same with you and his lips kissed the crown of your head.

“It really never would’ve crossed my mind that you liked me way before the whole flowers thing...”

“Not even when that one summer we would keep running into each other at the park and you would catch me staring from time to time?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

The heat didn’t wait to reach your cheeks at that. You remembered that very well, for it was the summer you caught feelings for him as well, the one right before you entered your last year of high school. You would go out for walks on your own just for the sake of doing something other than staying in texting your friends all day long, and would run into him most of the time while he walked his dog, the one you now knew was named Gold.

Although you had talked in class more than once —or well, you had talked to him more than once—, you were not friends, and hence, neither of you got the guts to come close to one another to try and start small talk. However, that didn’t stop either of you from staring at each other when you were not looking. Sometimes you would catch each other staring, though, and you couldn’t stop an amused smile from curving up your lips when you remembered one particular time he had choked on air when you smiled at him after catching his eyes being fixed on you, just like he had choked earlier this year when you had asked him if you could sit next to him in class. It seemed to be a habit of his by now, at least when it came to you.

“I thought you were just judging me over the way I was always sniffing the flowers and taking pictures of them…” you admitted, for although a part of you did want to believe he was into you back then, you couldn’t really bring yourself to fully believe it.

He pulled you back by your shoulders so he could give you a questioning look. “Judging you with heart eyes?”

“Yah!” you called him out, feeling your cheeks burn.

Jeongguk laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I really just couldn’t take my eyes away from you, you looked so hypnotized by them and it was the cutest to me”.

“Is that why you thought about secretly giving me flowers?” you couldn’t help but ask.

He nodded, lowering his head. “I know it would’ve been easier to just talk to you, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do it. Fuck, I even was a nervous wreck this year when you first talked to me,” a breathy laugh escaped his mouth. “So I just… thought I could do that for a while until I got the guts to confess. Although I guess a part of me really wanted you to find out, because whilst looking for different kinds flowers I came across tiger lilies and, apart from finding out they were my birth flower, their meaning just fit so well with what I wanted to do and I just—”

“What do they mean?” you asked.

“It’s cheesy” he let you know with pleading eyes, silently asking you not to make him say it out loud. “Like, really cheesy”.

“Come on,” you begged with pouty lips, getting a hold of his hands. “I’ll look it up on the internet either way if you don’t tell me”.

He shook his head in both amusement and embarrassment altogether, knowing well enough you would do just that if he did not comply right then. So, biting down on his bottom lip, he said: “Please, love me”.

Your eyebrows furrowed in clear confusion. “Huh?”

“They mean ‘please, love me’” he clarified at the sight of your puzzled face, and your heart skipped a beat as you froze in your place. “I told you it was cheesy”.

“No, no, it’s not that. I just… is that what…” you pressed your lips together as you tried to compose yourself. “Did you… do you mean that?” it was now his turn to look confused, tilting his head to the side because of it. “You want me to love you?”

And although to you it seemed like a complicated question to answer, to him, on the other hand, it wasn’t. So, nodding his head immediately, he let you know that was exactly what he wanted.

“Back then, even when we were teenagers and barely ever talked, and I knew nothing about love, I was convinced I was in love with you… even if I knew it was one sided. And now that I got to be your friend and then your boyfriend, I…” he took in a deep breath, staring down to your hands in his before his eyes went back to yours. “I know more than ever that I love you. I love you so much, Y/N. And I know loving someone takes time, and I don’t want to push you or rush you at all, but if you could just try and find it in you to love me back someday, I—”

The small chuckle that abandoned your lips caused his mouth to shut close in an instant, not understanding what was so funny about his words and for a split second there feeling uneasy. However, all his worries went away when you cupped his face in your hands, staring at his lips for a brief second before your eyes went up to fix on his.

“I already love you, you dummy”.

Not giving him time to process your truthful words, if anything, knowing it would take him a while to do so, you leaned in to steal a small kiss from his lips, pecking them ever so tenderly a couple of times until he smiled, finally understanding the meaning of your words and placing his hands on the back of your neck to keep you from pulling away as he sucked on your bottom lip.

“Say it again?” he pleaded in between kisses, not being able to erase the huge smile on his face.

You chuckled teasingly. “Nope”.

“Yah,” he let go fully of your mouth. “You’re always speaking nonstop and now that I for once ask you to say something, you won’t?”

“Exactly” you smiled brightly, giggling when he squinted his eyes at you and leaning in to peck his mouth a couple more times. “I love you, bun” you cooed, being done with your teasing way earlier than you had planned to.

And it was the way you loved him back, along with the way you had gone back to call him that pet name he was the softest about, what had him giving you one of those bunny smiles of his that made you come up with that name to begin with.

“You won’t say it back?” you wondered, batting your lashes for him to take a hint.

Nevertheless, he shook his head no. “I already said it twice, we’re even”.

“Yah!” you lightly shoved him off, only to have him standing right back in between your legs like he had been during your entire conversation. “Jeongguk-ah~”

“Yes, baby?” he played innocent.

“Tell me you love me” you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest.

Letting out a light laugh, he cupped your face and gave your mouth a chaste kiss. “I love you, petal”.

You smiled sweetly, allowing him to plant a few more kisses on your mouth before you pressed your lips to the spot under his jawline, resting your face on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you once more.

“You should’ve confessed back then” you lamented, looking up to his face yet only being met by the sight of his chin. “Why didn’t you?”

He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head and tightening the hold of his arms around your waist.

There it was, the most important question out of them all. The one he had came here to talk about, yet he had completely forgotten about as he had gotten caught up on making up with you instead. And now that things were finally good between you two, he couldn’t help but fear bringing up said person and what she had done would make things worse all over again.

“I was going to” he let you know. “That was the plan all along”.

Your eyebrows knitted together, sitting up so you could fix your questioning eyes on his troubled expression. “Then why didn’t you?” you repeated your previous question.

He sighed heavily, causing your body to tense up, as you knew right then you wouldn’t like what he was about to tell you. “Sooyeon…”

“What?” you pushed it when he stopped right after mentioning her name. “What did she do?!”

He bit the inside of his cheek. Although he had found out about everything a few days ago and had gotten some time to come to terms with it, it still hurt just as much. All the lost time and what it could have been, all the possibilities that could’ve come with having been with you as a couple ever since your last year of high school, still made his blood boil.

“She found out I was your flower boy one morning and she told me I was wasting my time…”

“What?!” your loud tone was a mix of both worry and anger. “Jeongguk, what did she tell you?”

He shrugged, a weak smile curving up his lips. “Does it matter anymore?”

“Of course it does” you argued. “It does to me”.

Letting out another sigh, knowing well enough he could not avoid this anymore, as you deserved to know the whole story just like he did, he grabbed your hands and gently held them in his — partially wanting to let you know it was alright, partially wanting to feel like it was alright. “She said you had told her you hoped it wasn’t me because you would have to give me a chance out of pity,” the look in your eyes right then made his heart hurt. “Because I was not popular, and I barely ever talked, so you would always be bored around me yet would have to pretend like you were not…”

“Bun, I never said that. I neve—”

“I know” he cut you off before you could freak out completely. “Petal, I know that now”.

“No, but she lied!” you raised your voice for him to hear you out. “I’m never bored around you, you know that, right? And the few times we got to talk back then I was never bored either, I…”

“Baby, I know…” he soothed you, cupping your face and pressing his forehead on yours. “I know. It’s okay”.

“Guk, I had feelings for you back then” you confessed, feeling your voice break.

He took in a shaky breath. Somehow, hearing that coming from you had hurt more than finding out from someone else like he had a few days ago. “It’s okay”.

And it was. It really was. You were together now. Somehow, you had managed to find your way back to each other years later and didn’t have to know what your lives were like without each other. However, the fact that it was alright, it didn’t mean it did not hurt. Because it did hurt. Thinking you could’ve been together ever since three years ago. How you wouldn’t have dated that asshole who broke your heart, and how he wouldn’t have gone three years of his life believing he was not enough. All of that, was not something the two of you could easily let go of.

“So all this time... you really believed I had said that about you? Even when we were friends, when we became a couple…” your voice sounded more broken by the second. “You let me back into your life even when I had supposedly said all those things back then?”

“Call me delusional, but I still really wanted to be close to you” he sheepishly admitted. That’s how he knew he would always have a soft spot for you, no matter what. “And anyway, baby, in my mind that was the high school you. You didn’t seem like the person who said those things back then at all when I got to actually meet you” he reassured you, then bitterly adding: “Now I can see why”.

You breathed uneasily. “You’re too good to me…”

“Yah, Y/N” he called you out immediately. “I told you, we’re not doing this”.

“But I really don’t deserve y—”

Your words were cut off by his lips softly pressing down on yours. Just like you would always call him out whenever he thought less of himself, hating it when he did that, he, too, hated hearing you say stuff like that about yourself.

“It doesn’t matter anymore” he whispered against your lips.

“Yes, it does…” you pouted. “She lied to both of us and we believed her. We could’ve been together ever since...”

“I know…”

“Three years, Guk. We lost three fucking years” you reminded him. “What if I hadn’t asked you to be my partner in the project this year, I mean, I wouldn’t even have you in my life and all because of her”.

“I know” he couldn’t hide the bitterness in his words this time. Because he knew very well what you were feeling, for he had felt the exact same a few days ago. “But can we just… forget about it?”  

“No, I want to beat the shit out of her” your determined, poisonous tone, could do no other than earn a loud giggle from him.

“Do that later?” he pressed his lips to the crook of your neck. “She already took enough time away from us, let’s not let her get in between us anymore. We’re making up now, it’s just us two...”

It was now your turn to giggle, relaxing under his loving touch and nodding your head in agreement before you leaned in to briefly press your mouth to his jaw. “We’ll just have to catch up on all those lost years then”.

He laughed under his breath, cupping your face once more as he leaned in just enough for his lips to faintly brush yours. “I guess we’ll just have to do that”.

Enjoying the sound of that, you puckered your lips up right as his soft ones came in contact with them, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck so you could deepen the kiss. Humming contentedly when his tongue made its way inside your mouth, you felt his hands let go of your face and wander down your back, holding onto your hips to bring you even closer to the edge of the kitchen counter, at which you reacted by wrapping your legs around his hips to help him create the friction between your bodies he was asking for.

You found yourself letting go of his neck to dig your hands inside his sweatshirt instead, smiling coyly at the way you felt goosebumps form on his skin. You had discovered not long ago he was quite ticklish on his sides, and you absolutely loved faintly running your hands along them just to get that reaction out of him.

He breathed heavily when your fingertips made their way up his abs, letting his hands go down lower from their current spot on your back and placing them on your ass instead, giving it a light squeeze as he took advantage on said action to grind his hips against your center.

“Mm…” you let out quietly, finding out just then how much you had missed feeling him close like that.

“You think they’ll be home soon?” he asked, referring to your two chaotic friends, as he peppered a trail of kisses down to your neck.

“They must be just getting started on drinking” you let him know, a smile curving up your lips at the sensation of his wet ones sucking on your skin. “Why? You got something in mind?”

The chuckle that left his mouth tickled your skin, feeling one last kiss being placed on it before his lips were briefly back on yours. “Only if you’re up for it”.

Your lips parted in a bright smile, without another word, shoving him lightly out of the way so you could place your feet on the ground — gently taking his hand in yours and having his adoring eyes stuck to you as you guided him over to your room.

Once inside, and as you let go of his hold so you could turn around to lock the door just in case your friends decided to come home earlier than expected, his eyes fell on the multiple tiger lilies he had left on your seat over the last two days, along with the bouquet of flowers he had sent over to your place earlier that day, all of them carefully lying on your desk by one side of the bed. Smiling at the fact that you had kept them all —as he had been worried you would’ve thrown them away when he first sent them—, he turned around towards you right as you were done with the door, cupping your face immediately and bringing his lips to meet yours in a quite needy kiss.

Walking you backwards towards the bed as he refused to break the hot contact between your mouths, he helped you lie down on it as he crawled over your figure, parting your legs open with his knee so he could lie in between them — a light laugh of his resonating against your mouth when your hands were back into his sweatshirt and the trace of your fingertips tickled his sides.

Wanting more of you as well, he found himself digging his hands inside your t-shirt just like he had grown fond of ever since that one time in his room, letting them make their way up to your breasts so he could tease them a little bit. Only, this time, he was met not by the thin fabric of your bra, but with your soft skin instead — feeling your nipples instantly harden at his sudden touch as a small hum abandoned your lips.

Not being able to hide his —very pleasant— surprise, he withdrew his lips from yours; wide eyes staring at you before they travelled down to your still covered breasts.

At his quite cute reaction, you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “I’m wearing pyjamas, is it really that surprising?”

It shouldn’t be. He knew that very well, considering you had not once worn a bra whenever you slept over at each other’s. However, being so caught up in the moment, he had seemed to forget about that altogether.

Deciding to say nothing, he leaned down instead to trap your bottom lip in between his again, sucking lightly on it as his hands squeezed your breasts in such a way that left you wanting more in a heartbeat.

“Mm… fuck” you moaned ever so quietly when one of his thumbs teased your nipple.

Smiling at your reaction, he moved his kisses all the way down from your mouth to your collarbone, feeling your chest heavily move up and down when his mouth came close to it. Firmly placing his hands on the curve under your breasts, he lifted your body up with ease to adjust you up enough on the mattress so that your still covered breasts were now right under his face.

Not giving you a second to process what had just happened, he lowered his face to your chest, pressing open mouth kisses on the fabric that was still covering it, and getting another moan out of you when his hand went back to teasing one of your breasts under your t-shirt, while his hot mouth sucked on your other one over it.

“Guk, fuck” you gasped, feeling goosebumps form on your skin when his lips travelled down to your bellybutton and his hands abandoned your chest to tug at the end of your top instead.

Biting down on his lip, he glanced up to you before doing anything else. “Is it okay if I?”

Although his question had been left incomplete, you answered him with an eager nod of your head, wanting nothing but to feel his wet mouth on your sensitive buds already.

Tongue wetting his lips in anticipation, he lifted your t-shirt over your chest — leaving it still on yet completely exposing you to his eyes. And it was the way his eyes fixed on your naked chest like the world had just stopped, what managed to make you nervous enough to bring your arms up to cover them.

“I would’ve worn something hotter for you to look at if I had known this was going to happen” you couldn’t help but joke your way out of it.

Jeongguk laughed lightly, leaning down to peck your neck a couple of times, trying to ease your sudden nervousness. “I don’t think anything could ever top this”.

Because although he was sure getting to see you in lingerie would be one hell of a sight, he loved this view the most. He loved looking at you, with absolutely nothing on the way of your body and his eyes.

And just like that, his teasing yet genuine words were the last push you needed to relax under both his touch and stare, allowing him to gently grab your wrists and remove your arms from off your chest. Receiving a small nod from you when his questioning eyes fixed on yours for a second, he planted two short kisses to your mouth before they were back on your chest.

Your back curved up with the first lap of his tongue on one of your nipples, feeling your breathing become heavier when his lips wrapped around it without any kind of warning.

“Jeongguk…” you moaned in what sounded like a plea.

Wanting to hear more of his name coming out as one of your pretty moans, he swirled his tongue harder around your bud, right as his thumb teased the one he had left unattended until then - not many seconds going by before he moved his mouth over to it so he could tease it as well.

“Fuck,” you gasped when his mouth sucked on your skin. “Jeongguk”.

Catching on the way you had pushed your hips slightly up to try and get some friction out of his already hardened length, he found himself giving you one slow thrust that had you both moaning whilst wanting more. Instead of grinding on you again, however, he let go of your breast and let his hand wander down to your pants instead, palming your already wet core through them before he fidgeted with their waistband.

“Please,” you begged.

“Hm?” he hummed against your jaw, as he placed a sweet kiss to it before going to your lips.

“Your fingers” you managed to blurt out, feeling like you were losing your mind over the way his long fingers were now teasingly digging inside your pants. “Jeongguk, please”.

Although he found out right then that he  loved hearing you beg, he wanted the most to make you feel good, which is why he was quick to comply with your wishes. Palming you now over your damp panties, he felt your body shake at the contact — a gasp escaping your mouth when his fingers made the fabric aside and they started rubbing circle motions on your folds.

You felt warmer and way more wet than he had expected, and he felt the sudden urge to run his tongue along your folds to get a taste of your arousal. However, right then, he knew what you wanted, what you needed, were his fingers inside of you. So, he did just that.

“Ah, fuck” you threw your head harder against the mattress when one of his fingers made its way into you.

“You’re so tight...” he breathed out in amazement, feeling himself get harder at the thought of what it would be like to feel your walls tightening around his cock instead.

Slowly shifting his finger inside your responsive walls, he focused on taking in your facial expressions to try and figure out what pace you liked the most — sticking with a faster one after one particular moan had escaped your lips right after he speeded up his pistoning motions.

“Like that?” he asked nevertheless, planting a lingering kiss to your chest.

“Yes” you managed to blurt out, grinding your hips against his finger, being desperate for more.

Catching up on that, he added another digit, hissing at the way your walls had seemed to tighten even more around them. Opening and closing his fingers in scissoring motions as he tried to stretch you out so he could move around with ease, he felt your breathing become heavier by the second, letting out a choked moan when he experimented by curling his digits against your walls.

“Oh, fuck” you whimpered when he curled them once more, managing to hit with them that one spot that could make you come undone in a matter of minutes.

“Feels good?” he asked, admiring your factions as you were too immersed in your own pleasure to remember how to speak.

“Mhm…” you answered with a simple sound instead, mewling when his motions sped up their pace. “So good”.

“Fuck,” he blurted when he felt your juices running down your slit. “Baby, you’re dripping”.

“Jeongguk, don’t stop” you begged when you felt his fingers no longer moving inside of you, desperately grabbing his wrist when you felt them start to pull out. “Don’t stop”.

He reassured you with an intoxicating kiss that made you dizzy. “I wanna eat you out”.

Your breath hitched at his low words, feeling your walls tighten when you opened your eyes to meet his hungry ones. And you didn’t have to even think before you were nodding your head. You needed him, that was all you knew. No matter if it were his fingers, his mouth or his cock, you were desperate for him right then, and would let him have you however he wanted.

Kissing your lips one more time, he felt you whimper against his mouth when his fingers pulled out of you, causing you to close your legs as you tried to replace the way they felt with the friction your thighs could provide you with. It didn’t last long, though, for Jeongguk was quick to pull them open once more so he could remove your pyjama pants along with your panties, licking his lips in anticipation at the perfect sight he got of your dripping folds.

“Fuck, you’re so hot” he rasped, causing your cheeks to burn and another whimper escape your mouth when his thumb brushed faintly over your clit.

“Jeongguk, please” begging seemed to be your only way of communication that night, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the hell out of it.

Pulling you closer to him, he placed your thighs over his shoulders before he finally brought his face up to your heat. Worrying for a split second there, as he was not entirely sure as to what was the right way to do this, he decided to go with his instinct —just like he had done seconds ago when his fingers were inside of you— and begin by slowly sliding his tongue through your folds. The way your body had trembled and a moan of yours had reached his ears as soon as he did, let him know he was doing well.

Delving his tongue in your slit, you instinctively reacted by pulling your hips slightly away from him at the pleasure his ministrations were giving you, and Jeongguk didn’t hesitate before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to his mouth once more, sucking on your wet heat before he pushed his tongue inside.

“Oh, God” you whimpered when he started fucking you with his tongue. “J-Jeongguk, yes”.

Moaning loudly when he pushed a finger back into you, you grabbed onto one of your breasts with one hand, as your other one travelled down to entangle your fingers in his already messy hair, earning a muffled moan from him when you pulled lightly at it.

Curling his finger inside you the way he had found out drove you crazy, his mouth let go of your heat, planting a small kiss on it before he licked his way up your folds and stopped by your clit. Although he was not experienced in all this at all, he did know stimulating that small button of yours could work wonders, and he was willing to give it a try. The second he swirled his tongue around it and you cried out in pleasure, he knew it wouldn’t take much longer before you reached your climax if he kept applying pressure on that particular spot.

Tightening his hold on one of your thighs to keep you from moving away as your body writhed beneath him, he added a second finger inside you, sucking on your clit before his tongue came in contact with it again.

“Mm—ah, Jeongguk. Fuck” you cried incoherently, curling your toes as you felt your climax getting closer. “Fuck, d-don’t stop”.

Feeling your walls tighten around his fingers, he could tell as well that you were close. Pushing his digits deeper into you, he managed to hit once more that one spot you needed him the most.

“Right there” you let him know, curving your back when he followed your words and his fingers brushed over it once more. “Oh, righ—fuck!” you whimpered.

“Let go, baby” he rasped, replacing his mouth on your clit with his thumb and pressing down on it in circle motions. “Cum for me”.

The mere sound of that, along with the way his mouth had came in contact with your folds as his fingers kept fucking into you, were all you needed to finally come undone under his touch, crying out his name one last time as his fingers helped you ride out your orgasm.

Closing your eyes and letting the aftershocks take over your body, you moaned lightly at the feel of your boyfriend’s tongue running along your slit, tasting the juices that were dripping down on it and licking you clean before he made his way back next to you, hovering over your figure and kissing you hungrily yet somehow gently. One of his thumbs caressed your hip as his other one came in contact with your chin, drawing circular motions on your skin as you kissed him back — eyes still closed as you felt your body finally steadying.

“Was that alright?” he asked, planting a lingering kiss to your mouth.

Opening your eyes, you looked at him with disbelief written all over them. “It was amazing” you reassured him with a smile nevertheless, allowing his mouth to come in contact with yours once more.

Pulling him closer by wrapping one arm around his neck, you felt something hard poke one of your sides, causing you to undo the kiss and stare down to the outline of his hardened member against the loose fabric of his pants.

“Want me to help you with that again?” you teasingly raised one of your eyebrows, earning a small lip bite from him at the memories of how good you had made him feel not too long ago.

Although it took him a second, he nodded his head. A smile curved up the corners of your lips at that, only for it to be replaced with a frown when his hand stopped you from reaching for his cock.

“Not like that” he shook his head.

You pouted in confusion. “Then how…”

Wetting his lips with his tongue, he leaned down to brush his mouth with yours. “I want to fuck you”.

You felt a wave of heat hit your body at his words, for although he had just seen and touched pretty much all of you, and you had just offered to suck him off, you had thought that would be as far as you’d get, just like that one time in his room when it had led to nothing else.

“W-What?” your voice betrayed you by stuttering a bit.

“I want to fuck you” he repeated, sounding just as determined as he had before. “You don’t want to?”

“No, I want to!” you were quick to clarify. Fuck, you wanted to. “It’s just… You sure you want this? With me?”

“I’ve wanted to have you like this for so long, Y/N. I could not be any more sure” his words sent shivers up your spine. “Besides, sorry to remind you, petal, but you are my girlfriend, so…”

“That I am, huh?” you played along, pulling him down by the neck of his sweatshirt so your lips could meet his. “Then I guess I’ll be good to you tonight and let you have your way with me”.

Smiling contentedly at your words, he wasted no time in crashing his mouth on yours, burying one of his hands under your t-shirt to give one of your breasts a tight squeeze before he tugged at the end of the fabric — eyebrows furrowing slightly and puzzled eyes opening when you held your top down by pressing your arms to your sides, not allowing him to pull it up so he could take it off.

“Wha—”

“It’s unfair you’re about to leave me naked while you’re still fully dressed, don’t you think?” you pointed out with pouty lips.

Rolling his eyes in amusement, he sat up on the mattress so he could take his sweatshirt off, being followed by you right after, as you helped him get rid of it with a smile on your face. Now, you had seen him shirtless once, when you were having food in his room one evening and he stained his t-shirt with soda, proceeding to change into another one right in front of you, but you had seen little to nothing of his torso, as he had turned almost fully around as he did so. And hence now, you could not hide the hungry look on your face as you stared at his toned chest.

“My eyes are up here” he teased you with an amused smile, causing you to send a playful glare his way.

“You didn’t exactly look into my eyes either when you pulled my t-shirt up, so…”

He chuckled at your snarky remark, leaning in to connect his mouth with yours and then tugging once more at the end of your top, just like he had done a minute before. This time, however, you pulled your arms up, letting go of his mouth so he could get rid of that one last piece of clothing of yours that was bothering him so much.

Not wasting any more time, you helped him out of the rest of his clothes as well, giggling against his lips when they needingly crashed on yours once more, with one swift movement lying you down on the mattress as your curious, wandering hands became familiar with each other’s bodies.

A raspy moan escaped Jeongguk’s throat when your hand stroked his member, being followed by a choked one when you tightly wrapped your hand around it, gently moving it up and down his length.

“Fuck, Y/N” he breathed heavily, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he unconsciously thrusted into your hand. “I need you”.

You smiled at the sound of his begging words, leaving a small kiss on his naked shoulder before you released his member from your hold and pushed him on his back, letting him adjust into a more comfortable position as he rested his back against the headboard, before you sunk your knees down on the mattress on each side of his lap — his hands immediately resting on the curve of your waist and a shaky breath coming out of his mouth at the feel of your wet core rubbing ever so faintly against his cock.

“You sure you want this?” you asked.

He eagerly nodded his head, pulling you back to meet his swollen lips. “I want you so bad”.

Feeling a wave of heat rushing through your body at that, you nodded your head, pecking his lips one more time before you reached for your nightstand, opening its small drawer and taking a condom out of it. Going back to your boyfriend, you were met with his rather taken aback expression.

“You knew this was going to happen or…” he questioned with a raised brow and a teasing smile.

You shook your head as a shy smile curved up your lips. “The two idiots I live with filled my drawer with them when we started staying over at each other’s regularly” you explained with a roll of eyes. “They also left a box full of them in my closet”.

Jeongguk laughed wholeheartedly at that. “Well, that’s good to hear. They will come in handy”.

Laughing along with him at his joyful remark, you opened the small envelope in your hands, pulling slightly back so you were no longer hovering over his member and could slide the condom on it with ease — feeling Jeongguk’s breath hitch at both the unfamiliar feel of the thin latex around his length, and the familiar one of your hands on it. Staring back at him once you were done, you stole a sweet kiss from his lips, hearing him moan against your mouth when your hand was once more wrapped around his cock, pumping it a couple more times as you aligned it with your entrance.

And then, locking eyes with him for a second, you kissed him slowly. As slowly as you had started to sink down on him.

Letting go of the kiss as he involuntarily tilted his head back, Jeongguk let out a loud moan, immediately getting lost into what was without a doubt the most pleasure he had ever felt. And he knew right away that your warm, wet walls wrapping tightly around his member, was something he could easily become addicted to.

Staring lovingly at the way his eyes remained closed and his mouth slightly open, you couldn’t help but moan as well as you pushed down lower on him, feeling your walls stretching as you tried to take his entire length.

“Fuck” he rasped when he was completely inside of you.

Tightening his hold on your hips, he pulled you slightly closer to him on his lap, not being able to hold back a blissful chuckle at the way the friction he had just created made him feel.

“What is it?” you wondered with a smile of your own when he leaned in to rest his forehead on your shoulder.

“It feels so good” he let you know with another chuckle.

Joining him on his sudden outburst of joy, you let out a light laugh just as he pressed an open mouth kiss to your shoulder, loving to be the one who got to share this moment with him — to be the one he wanted to share this moment with. Pressing a small kiss to the top of his head, you placed two fingers under his chin to push it up and have him look at you. Once he did, you leaned in to steal a lingering kiss.

“I love you” you said for the third time that night.

He smiled brightly, bringing his lips up to yours and locking them in a slow kiss. “I love you more”.

Opening your mouth to fight him on that, what came out of it instead was a choked moan after he pulled your hips down on his cock.

“Jeongguk, fuck” you let your forehead fall to his shoulder when he pushed his hips up to yours.

Slowly rolling your hips, you met him right as he thrusted up on you once more, causing a small moan to make its way out of his mouth. “Mm… baby…”

With his hands firmly grabbing your hips, you let him guide the pace as you rode him, loosely wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your forehead on his as the two of you grew used to the rhythm he was leading. Closing your eyes, you let your heavy breathings mix as they were now, along with a few moans here and there, the only sound filling your silent bedroom.

“O-Oh, fuck” you gasped when he pulled you down harder on him, somehow managing to push deeper inside of you.

You leaned slightly back when he repeated said action, tilting your head back as well and then humming quietly when you felt his warm lips wrap around one of your breasts, slowly sucking on your nipple, as you had just given him the perfect opportunity to do just that, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and pulling you closer to him as you kept rolling your hips at the same pace he had created for you before.

“Mh—ah! Fuck” he moaned when you pushed your legs up, enough for only half of his cock to be inside of you, to later take it all in again. “Y/N…”

Doing it again, you couldn’t stop the whimper that had just abandoned your mouth as his length had managed to reach that soft spot of yours. Needing more of him, you sped up the pace of your grinding against his hips, feeling him finally let go of your sensitive bud to let his sweaty forehead rest in the crook of your neck as his moans became louder by the second.

“Wait, wait” he demanded breathily, placing his hands on your hips and firmly holding them down so you would stop moving. “Stop”.

“What’s wrong?” you worried, doing as told in a heartbeat.

He shook his head no, quietly letting you know nothing was really wrong, as he buried his face deeper in the crook of your neck and closed his eyes while he tried his best to catch his breath. “Feels too good” he admitted in a raspy voice. “Don’t wanna cum yet”.

You giggled under your breath, finding silent joy on the fact that he hadn’t asked you to stop because he wasn’t enjoying what you were doing, but because he was liking it too much.

Lowering your head to his shoulder, you planted a small kiss on it. “You can cum if you want” you let him know, pressing another soothing kiss to the crook of his neck. “I understand”.

He shook his head no, letting out a heavy sigh as his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. Maybe it was his ego, or just the fact that he really wanted to make you feel good too, maybe both, what made him refuse to let himself go right then, no matter how bad he wanted to. No matter how hard it was not to.

Smiling sweetly at him, you brought one of your hands up to his damp hair while your other one caressed his back, entangling your fingers in his dark locks as you waited for him to come down from the high he had been about to reach. Letting out a sigh when he felt like he could finally breathe again, he placed his hands on your back to pull you closer — lips looking for yours when your naked chest pressed on his.

Kissing him hard, you opened your mouth for his tongue to meet yours after it had traced your bottom lip, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and trying your best not to roll your hips like you were dying to. Although you didn’t have to hold back for much longer, for with one last kiss and with his warm hands still holding you down on his cock, he pushed it deeper inside of you.

“Fuck” you gasped at the sudden stimulation, taking it as your cue to start moving as well.

“F—Y/N” he moaned when your hips met his in the middle, as they pushed into you once more.

Helping you lead the pace once again, he held you by the waist, digging his fingers into your hot skin and deciding right there, as you moaned his name and your walls tightened around his cock, that he wanted to take over from then on. So, with a swift movement, you were now under him as he laid your back on the mattress — a light moan escaping your lips when he pulled out of you to make you more comfortable on the bed, immediately becoming whiny as you missed his whole length inside of you.

“No, don’t stop fucking me” you pouted, breath hitching when he grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer to where he was sitting down on the mattress. “Jeongguk, please”.

He smiled at both the sound and sight of you right then, really enjoying them one hell of a lot. It was your messy hair, swollen lips and naked chest that moved up and down as you breathed heavily, along with the neediness in your voice as you were begging for him once more, what made it easy for him to decide he liked being in control.

Catching your bottom lip in his mouth as he adjusted himself in between your legs, he heard you beg one more time against his lips. However, just as you did, he felt one of your hands desperately go down to your center so you could feel something inside of you. Only you didn’t get to, for his hand grabbed your wrist right before your fingers could find their way inside, managing to grab your other one as well and pin them over your head as he pushed his hips down enough for the head of his cock to align with your wet center.

“I’m the one fucking you tonight, petal”.

You moaned at the sound of his words being murmured against your neck — the way such sweet pet name had been said with such a lustful tone right then, making you somehow even more needy for him.

“Please,” you breathed out, overwhelmed by the way his mouth teased the sensitive skin of your neck and he rubbed his cock against your core, not quite pushing into you yet. “Jeongguk, please. I need you”.

“What was that?” he wondered teasingly.

“I need you” you repeated. “Jeongguk, please. Please fuck m—ah!” your head was thrown back in pleasure when he slammed his entire length into you, just the way you were so badly begging for.

Hungrily kissing your mouth, he muffled the moans that came out of it with each thrust of his hips — letting go of your lips as a low groan made its way out of his throat when your walls wrapped tighter than he had felt them do that evening, as you were getting closer to reach your high.

Letting his forehead fall to your shoulder, he muffled a cry against your skin as you wrapped your legs around his waist and your walls tightened once more against his cock, knowing right then he wouldn’t be able to last much longer.

“Harder” you pleaded breathily, arching your back as he wasted no time in complying. “F-Fuck, Jeongguk. Ah!”

“Y/N” he rasped your name, feeling his inevitable release about to hit. “Fuck, I’m g-gonna cum”.

Not being able to form any kind of coherent sentence right then, you settled for an eager nod of your head to let him know it was okay. Digging your nails on the wet skin of his back, you scratched your way down on it when he once again managed to find that one soft spot of yours that had you crying out in a second.

“Right there,” you desperately let him know, feeling your legs start to give up when he kept hitting it with each of his thrusts. “Fuck, right there”.

“A-Ah, Y/N, I’m—” he stumbled upon his own words, not being able to hold on anymore given how much tighter you were getting now around him. “Mm… I’m gon—ah!”

Groaning one last time, he let himself go like he had fought so hard not to — your pulsating walls around his cock finally driving him over the edge.

Although overwhelmed by the intense wave of pleasure running through his body, beginning to feel dizzy even, he did not slump down on you to catch his breath like he so badly needed to. Instead, he kept riding his own orgasm — his thrusts becoming sloppier yet rougher as he greedily tried to drive you over the edge, too.

And it was only a matter of seconds before you did.

“J-Jeongguk, I’m—ahh!” you cried out one last time, feeling your shaky legs give up as you came undone beneath him.

Helping you ride out your orgasm as well, Jeongguk whimpered at the overstimulation, finally letting his body slump down on yours and burying his face on your neck, as he felt his body tremble with each spasm of your walls around him. Feeling his hot, heavy breath hit your sweaty neck as the two of you desperately tried to catch your breath, you entangled once more your fingers on the hair at the back of his head — fingertips ever so tenderly moving in circular motions in a soothing way.

Closing your eyes for a couple of seconds, you felt his thumb caress one of your sides, later having you opening your eyes when he pressed two brief kisses to the crook of your neck and a breathy laugh of his was soon to follow right after.

“What’s so amusing?” you wondered, feeling the corners of your mouth curve up when another chuckle of his reached your ears.

“That was amazing” he confessed, causing your face to burn as your smile grew wider. Pressing one of his arms down on the mattress, he held his body up so he could lock his eyes with yours. “Was it okay for you?”

You bit your bottom lip, shyly looking away for a split second before your eyes focused back on his. “Jeon Jeongguk,” you called his name in a serious tone.

“Hm?”

“You made me cum twice” you reminded him, loving the sight of his already flushed cheeks turning even more pink than they already were. “I think that speaks for itself”.

He let out a shy laugh, tilting your chin up as he brought his lips down to yours and kissing you sweetly for a good couple of seconds, later moving his lips over to press an open mouth kiss to your cheek before he finally pulled out of you. Removing the condom from his member, he crawled to the edge of the bed and reached for the small bin you kept under your desk next to your bed, bringing it closer to him and throwing the used latex into it before he went back to lie on his stomach next to you — blissfully letting you kiss his lips once more like you had just reached up to.

“I’ll get better at it” he promised, earning a quiet giggle from you.

“Well, we do have three years to make up for, so I guess we’ll both get a lot of practice” you pointed out coyly.

“And we don’t have to worry about running out of condoms anytime soon” he reminded you, amusement clear in his voice.

Throwing your head back on the mattress, you allowed a throaty laugh to escape your mouth, later looking back at him and bringing your hand up to cup one of his cheeks. Gently caressing it a couple of times, you puckered your lips up for him to come closer and cut the space between your mouth — smiling softly when he complied in a heartbeat, slowly sucking on your bottom lip.

“I love you” he mumbled on your lips, loving the way he was finally able to say it freely, knowing you felt the same, like he had been aching you to all along.

“I love you more” you repeated his previous answer with a smile.

Kissing your lips chastely, he shook his head no, tilting his head towards the flowers that were taking over your desk. “Those are proof that I love you more”.

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Those are proof that you’ve loved me for longer, it’s got nothing to do with the amount of it”.

“Mhm…” he nodded his head, letting you know with both the tone of his voice and the look on his eyes that you were not convincing him. “Whatever works for you, petal” his lips turned into a smile as he let his back slump down on the bed.

“Yah,” you gently shoved him off, feeling your heart skip a beat when you heard him laugh.

Pulling you to his chest by wrapping an arm around you, he planted a kiss to your forehead. Although you had sighed contentedly after resting your face on his chest, he didn’t miss the way your mind was quite absent right then.

“What’s wrong?” his eyebrows knitted together, growing somewhat more confused after following with his eyes to where yours were staring at and having them fall on the flowers.

“Nothing” you smiled, unconsciously running your fingers along his chest. “I just wish these particular ones would last forever”.

Smiling as he adoringly stared at you, he hugged you closer to his body. “I can get you all the flowers you want”.

At that, your head snapped up so you could lock eyes with him. The mischievous smile that had just formed on your mouth as you cockily raised one of your eyebrows, letting him know right away he was about to regret what he had just said. “You’ll be like my flower daddy then?”

Yup, there it was, the regret.

“Anddd, you ruined it” he lamented.

Letting his head fall back down on the mattress, he closed his eyes as he tried his best to fight the smile that was threatening with taking over his face, knowing he would fail miserably at it when he heard you chuckle next to him — finally giving in to it and laughing as well as you peppered open mouth kisses around his face.

Although popular, loud, chaotic, bubbly, impulsive as hell, and just the complete opposite to what he was, he could not be any happier it was you the one his heart had chosen to fall irretrievably in love with.