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cuddlycryptid · 6 days ago

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top 25 most unhinged things my roommate did without realizing they were the problem

When i first met Roommate, they complained constantly about their Housemate at the time. Housemate’s two sins were: 1. they left mountains of dishes in the sink for so long, they grew mold, 2. and they refused to communicate at all.

Roommate tells Housemate gtfo, and gives the empty room to me

turns out, Roommate leaves mountains of dishes in the sink for so long, they grow mold

uh oh

Roommate constantly refused to communicate at all

to the point where Roommate’s Boyfriend took it upon himself to start getting the rest of the friend group together like every week to be like “hey guys, so sorry but Roommates having feelings and doesnt want to reach out to yall… but they DO also expect u to fix it <3”

rip to us all when BF moved out 💀 doomed

Roommate’s Boyfriend tell Roommate that he experiences polyamorous attraction. Roommate said no u dont ! not while ur dating me :)

it probably didnt help how much BF and the rest of our friend group joked about essentially being in a polycule. oops

like. there was one time when Roommate’s BF didnt text them for a whole day and Roommate started threatening to kill themself. so. they were perhaps a touch codependent

around this time, Roommate and my Best Friend both helped me realize that my GF ignoring my boundaries was toxic- and i needed to leave so i could figure out my own shit*. They both helped me to gather the courage to end things, and talked me through how i would explain it to her. we all hoped Ex-GF would be understanding and we could all stay friends. Ex-GF didn’t take it well. Roommate then immediately accepts my Ex’s untrue version of events* without asking me a single question- or letting on that they had heard any concerning details that didn’t line up with the version of events that they were literally present for

*shit i was sorting: i was deeply MentallyUnwell! and realizing i was aro-ace !! and more!

*ex-GF accusations: that i mustve been secretly cheating on her for months with my (also aroace-spec) Best Friend (?)

the next month i hit like rock bottom mental health, fighting to stay alive shit. i told Roommate “hey i isolate when im struggling like this bc i dont have energy to hang out with people, but i love you sm and ill be back! please be patient and dont take it personally if im not around rn !!” and then they took it super personally

Roommate decided to start Secretly Testing the friend group. Normal and Healthy

(the game was a cycle: Roommate isolates, we reach out, they cancel plans, we check on them, they say theyre fine, they isolate, etc. u know it)

we didn’t know it was a game. we respected boundaries and thus didn’t ~penetrate their walls~ enough

so, despite all the concern and love we sent to Roommate, Roommate decides the group must all be collectively faking our friendship

the house is now under Guerilla Warfare

Roommate thought they were rlly good at lying, so they thought Bestie and I wouldn't be able to notice that they were mad

(they are not good at lying)

no matter how affectionate i was, they never returned any warmth. i would asked them if they were ok, if i could do anything for them, and they said they would let me know

The Vibe™ made me rlly anxious around them, but my therapist reminded me i cant assume ppls Upset is Abt Me, and its the other person’s responsibility to communicate that if it is. so. i decided that i would trust my friend to do that 🤡

whenever i lose something, i make jokes about fairies taking it. we were an ADHD house, so we all lost stuff a LOT. Roommate thought the fairy jokes were proof that i was gaslighting everyone 😈

Roommate started keeping my ESA cat Goose locked in their room for hours when i got home, for days at a time. Then Goose got sick.

Roomate kept an endless bowl of my kibble in their room. Goose’s tummy is sensitive, so i asked them to stop feeding her so i could monitor her diet. they agreed

Bestie and I start to find cheap wet cat food in the trash- and it was a brands that Goose had reacted poorly to before. Roommate denies this

we also established that it’s vv bad to smoke weed in the same room as a cat

Roommate would have Ex-GF over multiple times a week for (indoor) smoke seshes, with Goose locked in the room.

Roommate also denies this, even tho we could all smell it

Roommate took advantage of the fact that I genuinely wanted Roommate and Ex-Gf to still be friends post-breakup

so multiple times Roommate took my weed supplies and lied to me about where they were going

Roommate knew i wanted the vibe in the house to be mature and neutral, so they figured that was clearance to start bringing Ex-Gf over constantly…to shit talk the other ppl in the house and hotbox the room with my cat

Roommate’s immediate response to being challenged abt anything, was always to try and intimidate the other people- by getting mad, sometimes by slamming things, uk... shit u get from years of mentorship under a toxic parent

(tbh it was kinda silly bc Roommate’s like 5’1”)

but also all Roommate’s friends are traumatized ppl! so Roommate can successfully bully anyone who is confrontation-avoidant enough

Roommate would boast about how they were fucked up and unhealthy, while refusing to actually go to therapy or take the meds (that they knew helped)

many such cases (ie all the worst ppl u know)

instead, Roommate held one member of our found Family hostage as a free therapist

Roommate constantly isolated Fam from the rest of the people who loved her by repeating lies and vitriolically shit-talking the rest of us

Fam asked Roommate to stop, because it was bc it was emotionally destroying her, and Roommate agreed…then immediately ignored her boundaries and continued to make her life a living hell

(Fam is doing better now, but after the War she started to go to therapy (yay therapy!) and Roommate just. never gave a shit about the way that their behavior affected her, or checked in ooh it makes me so fckin mad)

Fam begged Roommate to communicate to the rest of the friend group. Eventually, Roommate talked to my Bestie- mostly complaining abt how much Roommate resented me, and then asked Bestie to communicate to ME what Roommate was feeling

Bestie told Roommate that they wouldnt do that bc Roommate needed to talk to me themself

Roommate later was upset because they said they still expected that message to be passed along anyways

so Roommate was sitting there resenting me, thinking that i knew what they wanted me to do, and i was just ignoring it… when i had literally no idea any of this was going on 🙃

8 months post-breakup, after countless hours of self-healing, and many conversations with Bestie about how Bestie understands their own aroace feelings... i started to understand the v aromantic (!) way that i experience love and devotion! …i also realized that i love my Bestie a lot. after talking about it for a while, Bestie and I decide we could be aroace together in a Queer-Platonic Relationship :D !!! anyways Roommate accused us of lying to everyone, claiming Bestie and I werent actually in a QPR

bc Roommate knew what all QPRs looked like (bc Roommate and their Boyfriend had tried out a QPR for a few months before they started dating romantically). so. theyre qualified to be the qpr police obv

STILL without communicating to me, Roommate tells a Mutual Friend that if “things dont get better” in the next two weeks, Roommate would evict me and Bestie, making us homeless

Roommate was already planning on moving out in 3 months. theyd rather pay the last 3 months of rent solo than use their words

(also Roommate was lying to us that we were subleasing from them, when we were actually all renting equally, but that’s another story)

Roommate explains to Mutual Friend that, yeah, they hadnt actually TALKED to me, but only bc Bestie and I REFUSED to allow Roommate to communicate

at 2 points earlier that week i had sent them long, desperate texts, begging Roommate to tell me if something was wrong, and that id do anything to fix it. and every time i saw Roommate i automatically checked in. and i frequently reminded them they could always talk to us. but other than that, not at all 🙂‍↔️

in response to this conversation with Roommate, Mutual Friend decides its time for an Intervention

The Intervention

Mutual Friend said it’d be a Friend Group therapy session- we’d have mature, calm communication, and if anything got heated/emotional at all, Mutual Friend would intervene and break us up

Roommate asked to go first- and jumped into this unhinged monologue

Roommate was clearly so angry that Mutual Friend was just too scared to reign them in at all, the whole time

everyone in the group just stared at each other in disbelief as Roommate went OFF for 25 min

the speech was full of my ex-gf’s selfish pop-psych therapy talk, too, which made it hard to take seriously… but it was so clear Roommate and Ex-Gf had together fully rationalized all their behavior 👍

via monologue, Roommate explained how, 6 months ago, we had all failed their Secret Test, so they knew we were all Fake

i was devastated that they felt that way. i explained it wasnt a lack of love for them- its just that the same month Roommate was Secretly Tested us, was also my Hell Month

aka the month that my ptsd made me nonfunctional , and i tried to kms, and i spent like all my time catatonic from the onslaught of mental angst. so. i wasnt like hanging out w my friends a lot uk

But i apologized profusely, tearfully, genuinely… that i didn’t have the strength at that time to be more focused on my loved ones’ wellbeing, that i didnt realize what Roommate needed, and that i wasnt there for them

Roommate said they refused to accept my apologies

bc Roommate’s mental health was bad too, and they would’ve liked it if we hung out more :(

At the end of the Conversation, Roommate didn’t notice that they had gotten to go on a 25-minute verbal rampage, and everyone else in this “mutual” communication session was too scared to bring up any of the topics that we had prepared

Roommate was always unbelievably defensive, esp when already riled…so everyone else in the group collectively agreed to stay quiet

and we now realized that literally anything we did, no matter how well-intentioned, could be interpreted as a personal attack

we talked it over after and agreed, that trying to share our issues was pointless. itd just add to Roommate’s resentments and undo all the good we just did by letting Roommate let off some anger on us

we had realized that literally anything we did, no matter how well-intentioned, could be interpreted as a personal attack

THAT conversation was what it took for me to realize oooh, i think Roommate isnt my friend lol

After that, when the dish pile started to smell again, Bestie decides they’re not going to keep doing Roommate’s chores.

In the past when asked about dishes, Roommate would just deny that they used any of the dishes that were sitting in the sink

(Roommate had their own dishware and pots- Bestie and I were very careful to ONLY use our (red) pots so we knew which ones were ours. and the dishes in the sink were always gray)

this time, Bestie dared to push back on Roommate’s “theyre not mine”, pointing out the color

Roommate got incredibly defensive and denied ever using any dishes or pots, at all, before storming away

(the dish mountain happened to move out when Roommate did)

Roommate starts prepping to move. stuff that belongs to me or Bestie begins to disappear from the common spaces. the suspect list is short

at one point in the move, Roommate showed me their boxes- and i saw my favorite towels on top of one of the boxes. i went and grabbed my towels later and they did NOT like that lmao

Roommate was irate and very aggressive, terrifying Bestie to the point of a total meltdown (which is very unlike Bestie btw)

Roommate accused me of stealing their stuff. i would never, but Roommate insisted that they knew i took something

when asked what was missing, Roommate admitted that there wasnt anything that they could think of

as i gave my therapist that weekly update, she decided Roommate’s unstable behavior was getting concerning enough that we miiiiiight want to start making plans to escape if we need to, since we couldn’t keep assuming that Roommate would be able to be reasoned with

therapist offered to take my cat Goose for a bit if we needed to move before we found a place for her

then one day Roomate just. left without saying anything. Lol

they didn’t say anything to any of their other friends either, they just. left the state. ppl were coming up to us for weeks following like “wait did u hear Roommate moved??”

Roommate had previously tried to get us to buy all their broken down furniture for like $3k. i had said i didnt want it, so when they left, Roommate just. lugged it all out to the curb jksdfhkjsd

we just brought the good stuff back inside obv, but it was so funny that they put in that much effort

Roommate left behind a polaroid of on old group pic, with Bestie and I’s faces burned out 👍 truly a hallmark of mental stability

the craziest thing is, i genuinely think Roommate always felt justified just doing just the most overtly hurtful behaviors, near constantly...yall should see the list that didnt make it to the internet lmao

so the moral of the story is... idek. if u think communicating is impossible for you, try practicing more. go to therapy. something

#u can thank fox for this lmao #ive been fighting so hard to be the bigger person but alas fox deserves is petty momeny #since he was SO good thruout this whole mess #tbc i home roommate is getting better and working on themself!#i wish them no ill will at all!! genuinely if they ever needed anything i would still help them #tbh i dont blame roommate for what happened #i think they were controlled by a combo of mental illness and ex-gfs vitriol #so. i hope they get better soon <3 #t gtfo #i dont miss having their self-sabatoging behaviors around tho bc WOOF #that bitch had some UNLEARNING to do !!!!#anyways #love and light ahdkjdd #also rip to the formatting!! i copied this over from google docs #and not all the bullet points successfully copied over and tumblr is broken and wont let me fix it #so some of the bullet points are supposed to be sub-bullet points lol #so it looks like theres like 29 things when some are supposed to be under other points….nvm lol im the only one who cares :P #ykwya

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