#only to turn around and say “im not buying the paint this time because i might go home soon *:”

[billgenbrough]

Y'all ever have it where someone offers to help redo your room because you don't like it, but they criticize every idea you have and literally tell you to shut up when they start discussing your room with someone else

Like is this even my room anymore or are you moving in here

[bahrtofane]

i dont want to leave

-----

When Jude finds himself slipping from your life. He chooses to leave it completely, for your sake. 

Jude x reader 

Word count - 700+

Watch it - angst angst and angst 

-----

Judes first appearance to your modest little apartment in months turns into him begging and pleading for you to find someone better. 

Someone who doesn't make you wait all day for a reply, someone who isnt in 3 time zones in one day, someone who has time.

Jude has many things, many luxuries and commodities that fill his home and surround his daily life. Fame and fortune that follow him, recognition. Riches.  

Time is not one of them. between games just about every other day, events and press appearances, media days and content recording. He is exhausting every second of his day.

He knows he's not making enough time for you. And now he's begging for you to move on  

Sitting cross legged on your couch, in red and black plaid pj pants and a hoodie he grabbed from his hamper. He made his way to you as soon as he could. Even if it meant after doing a virtual interview from his room, he grabbed his wallet and keys, sprinting out the door.

“Please…” he tries again. His eyes droop and he can not pick them up to face you. Can not meet your gaze. His eye bags look horrid and his skin is taking on a sickly sheen you saw last when he came down with the flu. 

You shake your head, “Jude. listen to what you're saying. You want me to leave because you're busy?”

“I'm saying I'm not good to or for you. I'm never around. I barely reply. I forget things. I never know what you're up to or what's going on. Im shit. And you don't deserve that.” he tries again, keeping his head down and picking at his nails. 

“But I love you. Busy or not.” you sigh.

“And I love you. So much that you have to let me go.” 

“I don't want to leave you,” you cross your arms.

He rubs his eyes. Its been back and forth like this for what feels like an hour now. This will get nowhere if he simply lets this continue. 

He slides a leg from under him, swinging it against your couch, “then I will.”

Your face morphs into one of pain, but he knows you can't keep living like this. He can't keep making false promises and hurting you. No matter how many times you say it's okay. He was late to your birthday for fucks sake. He doesn't know your friends names, do you even still watch that show? He's losing who you are and it's no one's fault but his own. 

He scoots to you, gently taking your hands in his, “I know you'll find someone who treats you the way you need. And I'm sorry I couldn't.”

Tears begin to swell in your eyes, lip trembling as you shake your head, “you can't,” you cry out weakly. But it's too late. 

“I'm sorry,” he whispers, getting up from his seat and gently closing the door behind him, with a little too much force than intended.

The little framed picture of the two of you that hangs on the wall next to the door shakes and wobbles. It only makes you cry harder. 

You remember that day. He took you to the fair, buying you all the stupid food you could ever want. (the deep fried ice cream gave you a run for your money in the bathroom). He won every prize at those silly games. Even if it took him 50 tries and a whole lotta cash to do so. 

There was a little man walking around with a polaroid camera. A sign reading “$2 for a picture” painted in bright green lettering hanging from an old withered string around his neck.

You took 4. 

Your favorite, the one on the wall, stares back at you mockingly. Hands held together while your heads are thrown back, soft yellow and pink light from the ferris wheel behind you painting your faces. You'll need to take that down you suppose.

You want to scream, but instead only tears fall. Can he see he's the one that's meant for you? Busy or not, forgetful, tired, moody, cranky. You love him through it all. Can he see that?

You try to call him, blinking away the tears as you fish your phone from your pocket.  Pressing on the screen harshly and putting it on speaker, but they all go to voicemail. You suppose that's that.

His first visit in months. And he's never coming back. 

[incogrio]

christmas, don't be late

SYNOPSIS: in which keeping christmas presents a secret is especially hard for yeonjun

pairing: yeonjun x gn!reader word count: 1.1k+ warnings: none, maybe slightly annoying reader, probably ooc yeonjun

AUTHORS NOTE: this fic was actually really fun and easy to write! lately i've been getting kinda annoyed w yeonjun fics because everyone writes him as a cool, macho guy, but he is also super silly!! he's a silly guy!!! so i wanted to show the silly guy some love. when i am writing this, my jack frost fic just went up, so i hope you guys like that fic :)) does anyone actually read these authors notes btw? LMAO, i might do a fic w an enha member bc i'm more into enha than txt, soooo maybe??? idk!! okay thats it, im yapping, love u!

as millions of people knew all around the world, yeonjun was great at many things. he was great at dancing, singing, being kind, hardworking, and empathetic. 

one thing he was never good it, however, was lying. while he didn’t necessarily find himself wishing he could deceive others well on a day to day basis; the closer it got to christmas, he wished he could. 

the first hurdle of the holidays was figuring what exactly you wanted. new clothes? a new watch? jewelry? they all seemed mediocre at best, and yeonjun knew he deserved significantly better than mediocre. 

then, as though sent from the gods above, you suddenly gained an interest in painting. at first, you simply mentioned liking painting videos on youtube, then, he’d catch you drawing little sketches of your environment. the final straw was when you bought yourself a set of 50 tiny paint tubes for less than five dollars. yeonjun was supportive, of course, and your paintings were beautiful, but he knew you deserved the most expensive paint in the world, with the highest quality canvas money could buy. more more than your printer paper, and dollar tree supplies. that’s when he finally jumped over the first hurdle of the holidays. 

now, the second hurdle, was keeping it a secret. at first, it was sort of easy for him. he would simply close his tabs when you came near, and made sure to avoid the topic of getting you art supplies whenever it arose. 

“junnie, what are you up to?” you asked, walking up behind him and his computer. the speed in which you watched him close all of his tabs was akin to superhuman.

“ahh, nothing…” he muttered, before turning around in his office chair and throwing you a charming, lopsided grin. he’d decided the best way to get your mind off his secretiveness, was to be seductive. so, he grinned, he looked you up and down, he bit his lip. 

safe to say, you weren’t too focused on his tabs that night. 

but, there’s only so much sex a man can have before his man gets suspicious. and, with the packages beginning to come in, hiding them from you was becoming harder and harder. 

the first package to arrive was your easel. he’d asked countless people and read countless reviews to make sure he got you the sturdiest, most functional, aesthetically pleasing easel. 

he was lucky when the package arrived and you were at work, but unlucky when he realized it came completely in pieces, and he would rather die than have you waiting over his shoulder as he struggled to build it on christmas day.

“i’ll just…. build it now! it shouldn’t be too hard.” oh yeonjun. what a fool you are.

you came home to him with his head in his hands, an instruction manual on the floor and seemingly random wooden parts strewn throughout the living room. 

“jun, what…” he cut you off, immediately jumping up and covering your eyes.

“yah!” he shouted, “don’t look! don’t!”

“i didn’t! i didn’t see!”

“be honest now.”

“i am!”

“promise?”

“pinky promise.”

“then go away!”

the next time he allowed you into the living room, a large blanket was hanging over the easel, blocking you from seeing the shape of it. you walked out, eyeing the gift suspiciously.

“keep moving mister! nothing to see here!” he exclaimed, gesturing you through the house like an airplane marshal.

when the second package arrived, a large pack of multiple canvases, it was significantly easier to hide. he simply wrapped the box in wrapping paper, and shoved it under the tree.

“baby, what’s in the box?” you asked during dinner, feigning innocence.

“hm? what… box?” yeonjun responded, picking at his food nervously. 

“you know what box.”

“haha! i don’t!! let’s have dessert!”

slowly, you knew you were breaking him down, softening him up. you were in bed together, after secretly putting some of his gifts under the tree.

“junnie…” you mutter, putting on a bit of a soft tone. “tell me what’s under the tree… and i’ll tell you what i got you!”

his only response was turning away from you and your charms, shoving a pillow over his head and loudly singing ‘lalalalalala!!’ for five minutes straight. 

finally, when the paint arrived, he felt relieved. the other gifts would be easier to hide, being small jewelry and clothes, so this would be the last of the big gifts he’d have to wrap. 

he felt so relieved, that a few days later, he was casually speaking to you about your gifts without even realizing it. 

“i ran out of paint today right in the middle of a new landscape!” you whined, grabbing a cold water from the fridge.

“ah, well, it’s good that i-,” he paused. his stomach flipped. he stared at the wrapped gift and almost felt it stare back at him. wrapped. gift. it was wrapped for a reason! he can’t go around revealing gifts just a few days before christmas!

“that i… um… saw… a bird…” 

“what?”

“bird.” he blurted out, before covering his mouth and dashing to the bedroom to hide.

so when christmas finally arrived, yeonjun was as happy as a five year old would be. he woke you up at five am, practically bouncing off the bed as he dragged you to the living room. within the next two seconds, all three of your main gifts were shoved into your lap. 

“open!” he said, the balls of his cheeks high as he beamed at you. 

you slowly and carefully peeled the wrapping paper off, partially to make him impatient, and just as you were about to reveal up your gift, “it’s paint! the best paint in the world!” he blurted out, practically shaking at the excitement of no more secrecy. 

“i see! thank you, junnie! i love it. here, you open one of mine ne-“

“no! you go, go go go!”

you chuckled, grabbing the giant, blanket covered one and shoving it off. 

a second before you could process what it was, yeonjun shouted again.

“it’s an easel!” 

you began laughing at his absurdness. “wow yeonjun! thank you so much! this is so thoughtful. should i open this now?”

he beamed, momentarily trying to contain his excitement by biting his lip, and nodded.

you peeled the wrapping off extra slow, watching him get more squirmish and impatient. 

finally, before taking the last bit of wrapping paper off, you paused. you leaned back, looking at your excited boyfriend.

“go on,” you softly commanded.

“it’s a pack of canvases! i did a lot of research, made sure i got the very best…” he rambled, going on about reviews and critics whilst you gazed at him. once you had finished exchanging gifts, yeonjun quite literally collapsed on the couch, letting out a relieved sigh.

“i hate secrets.”

you chuckled. “at least i know you could never cheat.”

there is a taglist! if u want to be on it, put in an ask :3

don’t forget your daily click!!

requests are open!!!! (im begging u for a request fr)

[kimakento]

FESTIVE DATES WITH OLDER LINE!JO1

pairing: older line!jo1 x fem!reader ⌙ 1.0k

genre: fluff

tags: they’re still very cutieful ofc, cute couple stuff, bf!jo1 (sho through keigo), non-idol!au

a/n: requested!!! i love this actually when will it be my turn </3 (also not proofread cause im too tired)

yonashiro sho and visiting an xmas market

you both arrive at the christmas market and can’t help but gasp in awe of the amazing lights that twinkle in contrast to the dark night sky.

one by one, you pass the stalls filled with games, food and more.

the grin that takes to sho’s face whilst looking around makes you melt on the inside.

it’s so fun while being there you feel like you can stay forever!!

most of the time you drag him to the games, trying to challenge him on who can win something first; be it a small plush or a keychain. (spoiler: you win but he tries to claim that he let you)

everywhere you walk, your arm are intertwined snugly, the both of you practically racing to sightsee everything

there are also many photos you snap of yonasho off guard — to which he complains about but you keep them cause your boyfriend looks good whenever and wherever…

afterwards you agree on separately buying one another a special gift. you decide on getting him a special mug for the coffee he loves so much, and sho surprises you with a decorative candle in the shape of a snowman, a short length of ribbon tied around its neck

and it’s safe to say you both enjoyed it very much

kawashiri ren and crafting

ren proposed something entirely new for the holidays; crafting.

so you both gather as much materials as you can from the local store and sit together on the floor of your living room.

using the coloured paper and ribbons, you make festive hand-made posters to hang in your house.

the man also bought some clear baubles to fill with glitter and small bits of festive items such as miniature figurines to make ornaments.

but the downside is when your boyfriend scolds you for adding too much glitter or when you somehow get it all over the carpet.

it doesn’t take long before you finish and make your way over to the christmas tree.

ren chooses to pin the posters on the wall while you hang the ornaments on the tree, but not until the man interrupts, pleading to be the one placing the star on top.

when you take a step back to appreciate the work you peck his cheek quickly, smiling when a small tint of red coats ren’s face because he’s still somehow shy after being a couple for so long

shiroiwa ruki and ice skating

we all know this man is a huge klutz…

the second you step onto the ice, ruki nearly slips, gripping onto your jacket with such fervour he nearly pulls you down too

and it’s not like you’re not better than him either, the both of you holding hands and trying to move but failing miserably

“that’s definitely embarrassing,” he pauses. “but at least we’re in this together.” while his reassurance grounds you, in turn making your heart beat out your chest.

ruki always seems to know how to make you feel better

he holds out a hand after getting up, pulling you up with that signature and kind smile playing on his lips.

throughout your time on the rink, you did get used to the slippery ice, unlike your boyfriend, constantly wobbling and waddling, whining at every giggle that left your mouth.

you only stayed for an hour before deciding to get going and walk along the nearest river-bank, hand in hand and admiring the snow-painted ground and twinkling stars

kono junki and watching cozy holiday films + building a gingerbread house

you were actually the one who brought the idea up and junki of course relented cause who doesn’t like a good movie binging???

you make two cups of hot cocoa as junki sets up the couch, bringing plenty of soft blankets and pillows, putting the movie on standby

when on the couch, you feel your boyfriend snuggle up to you, which in turn makes your chest swell in adoration.

the whole two hours did not pass quietly though, with junki talking you ear off about his favourite scenes, or laughing loudly whilst slapping his knee (yes he does do that unironically)

soon after the movie ends, you guys try to build your own miniature gingerbread houses, with the both of you challenging to see who could finish the first

at first, you were in the lead, before junki went so far to as steal some of your pieces, munching on the hard sugar window panes

“stop eating mine!” he mumbles, mouth full whilst playfully glaring at you reciprocating his actions, taking a large bite out of one of his ‘very delicious’ walls

sato keigo and baking

as much as this man looks good at baking, he is not.

and you regret letting him ever entering the kitchen even though keigo was the one to beg to try baking at first

and it’s not like you’re the best baker — you aren’t — but keigo is just very… chaotic

but still, your boyfriend tries his best to help you, handing you the ingredients, listening (very diligently) to instructions, taking over in whisking if your arms get tired (under strict supervision) and so on

so his hard work (well, mostly yours) seemed to be paying off as the first batch of gingerbread cookies went quite well

“let me have a turn now, i won’t mess it up!” he says while smiling innocently at you

but then proceeds to over-mix the dough and somehow add too much milk, causing it to be way more runny than intended

if that wasn’t the worst part, he started tickling you randomly, making you back into the counter and spill the contents all over the floor and some over yourself

the mess took you very long to clean but at least the first batch of cookies were still good.. (you guys also bought some more from the store after)

reblogs are appreciated!!

[hero-israel]

Can i just say I am so sick and tired of people claiming genocide. I mean with saying Israel is committing genocide on Palestinians right now. Every time I see it I want to scream. This is one of the numerous reasons why the pro palestine movement sucks. They can't just say something is bad, focus on real grievances. Instead they have to exaggerate and claim everything is the worst possible version. They can't just say "palestinian civilians are suffering," or even "excessive civilian deaths." No. they have to claim genocide.

it’s disgusting. they are appropriating terms and watering them down in the process. genocide is a very real horrific problem that is ACTUALLY happening to people right now... and they have to claim that term for their situation because why? to paint israel/israelis as the ultimate evil? to claim this issue is the worst ever and insist everyone else drop everything and only care about this? to add more emphasis on their lies and propaganda of israel being a colonial empire practicing apartheid? intentional flipping because they know Jews have been victim to genocide (we see this more explicitly when they compare Israel in this war to nazis)?

Maybe part of it is that if israel is responsible for genocide, then there’s no need to acknowledge how HAMAS and their actions play a significant role in palestinian suffering? (It can't be that hamas steals aid for civilians, no it must be 100% israel’s fault and only theirs! Also joe Biden I guess! /sarcasm)

No matter what, it’s a cynical ploy and absolutely disgusting.

In some ways it reminds me of how people online have taken terms like “trigger,” “gaslight,” and more, and completely twisted and watered down their meaning, turned it all into a joke ... except obviously much worse, here.

what really grinds me up is seeing how many people are buying into this. especially gen z. I am so done with my generation honestly. im ashamed to be associated with these people. part of me doesn't get it. im not jewish. and i try my best not to be antisemitic, educate myself. it does take work, but also it’s NOT THAT HARD to just NOT post completely unverified stuff, NOT absorb your news from social media, NOT give accusations of genocide without doing any research, bothering to learn about historical context, actually understanding what experts say and explanations why it is not genocide? And most of all actually LISTEN to jewish people when they talk about their own history and heritage?

Im not saying this to say im so great, in fact it's the opposite: what im doing is nothing special and amazing. it's really BASIC. yet SO MANY PEOPLE fail this??? what the fuck????

I understand people cannot educate themselves on literally very single topic. But then if they are ignorant, then they should just SHUT UP and not weigh on something they didn't take the work to understand. That is not hard!!!! NOT casually throwing around accusations of genocide should be the bare minimum and yet here we are.

All of the above. I am sorry you are dealing with this from so many among your cohort, and deeply appreciate your commitment as a non-Jew to resisting the new Christ-killer / stab-in-the-back mythology. It will continue to be difficult. For decades - for CENTURIES - all the wealthiest and most educated people in societies worldwide "knew" the Jews were guilty of these terrible things.

Derek Chauvin was convicted of the second- and third-degree murder of George Floyd. There were people at that time who were upset he hadn't been nailed for first-degree murder - he was obviously guilty! Look what a horrible thing he did! Get him for everything! But there actually really are different standards of evidence for different crimes and if prosecutors had tried to go for that one they would have lost.

I don't doubt for an instant that the IDF has committed multiple war crimes during this entirely preventable, entirely pointless cataclysm. But people are racing past the crimes that are clearly visible and could be supported by evidence because they want - need - HOPE for the very worst one to be true. It is a moral obscenity. And you can tell how much they are enjoying themselves, how fine it feels to be able to invoke genocide against Jews and Uno-reverse that nagging Holocaust card, by how quickly they revert to petty Internet slang to silence counter-arguments: "lol WELL ACTUALLLYYY, so you're JUST ASKING QUESTIONS rite, nice SEALIONING." It is meant to be an inherently, automatically truthful claim, one that the Jew has no right to deny.

The Disputations of our time.

And as we did in the past... we must answer, because not-answering will not help.

[iluvhavingnobrain]

WARNING, A LOT OF WORDS 🤧

Today, Alastor had told me he'd be over soon to paint another wall or two, he just had to buy a new gallon of paint and some other personal things before hand. I didn't mind, he wasn't in a rush anyways. It also gave me time to relax before he came over as well, so really it's a win win. Although, last night while I was trying too sleep I heard screaming from down the sidewalk. Was more than likely the murderer, I'm thinking about moving to the other side of Louisiana..where the killer doesn't reside. But then I'd have to quit my only paying job AND I'd have to say farewell to my new friends, I didn't want that.

Not at all. But I couldn't help but feel concerned about my safety whenever I roamed the streets and sidewalks, especially during nighttime when I was coming home from work. Gender doesn't seem to matter too this so called..'Deer man' people always say that his shilloute looks like a deer..yata..yata. I thought the nickname..or..title for this killer was a bit humorous if I had to be honest, I know that serial killers are dangerous and all, but I didn't think why deserve some cheesy title to make people even more riled up.

You want people to feel safe in their own homes, not uncomfortable. I sighed as I thought about that, to be honest..there was times when I felt uncomfortable in my own home, especially when I rounded a corner in the hallway or something. I need to ask Mimzy if she could let me out of work a bit more earlier..since..according to the morning papers, six proskirts, pimps, and gang members have been found dead. Within just the last two weeks! Meaning 18 dead bodies have been found, either mangled, gutted, or just with their throats slit. The thing was..most of it was during nighttime, around the early, early hours. Or just a bit after midnight.

I tried to do most errands during daytime whenever I could. I don't know much about killers, but I do know that this one..and most, wouldn't dare kill a person in broad daylight.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts, I sighed as I got up from the couch before heading over to the front door and opening it. "Oh, hey..that didn't take long." I said as I was greeted by Alastor, he simply chuckled before replying. "Never said it would." He teased as I fully let him in, I nudged his elbow. A soft chuckle escaping my lips. "Yeah, yeah. Smart alleck."

I paused for a moment, realizing something. "Hey, how'd you convince your boss to let you have an off day, Al?" I asked, he thought for a moment trying to figure out his next words. I snickered as he put his thumb and index to his chin, pretending to think really hard. "Well, I just promised him I wouldn't ask for the rest of the month. Although I only said that because I knew he'd forget eventually."

I paused at his words, did he just finesse his boss? "Ho-..Im not even going to ask."

Alastor chuckled at my reaction, causing me to huff and cross my arms. "Let's just get started." He nodded before handing me a paint brush, I gently grabbed it before dipping it into a paint bucket. Coating the brush in grey paint. I began to paint the half painted wall that we had left off on, this time, there was no messing around. Only chatting and sometimes jokes, we both had dry humor..so luckily it wasn't as awkward as it could've been.

We finished up about two walls, almost the whole living room. "Better than last time." I said with a shrug, Alastor snickered and I arched a brow. "Darling, it's...it's..if not, the same." I sighed and crossed my arms as I glanced at him. There was a difference, A very small one. "Yeah but it's still progress, and progress is progress." I hummed, Alastor shrugged and nodded. I scoffed playfully, he never took anything seriously. "Ooh! How about you stay for dinner?" I chirped, turning to Alastor. He seemed to hesitate, I seemed worried for a moment before he said.."Of course, my dear!" My eyes lit up with excitement as he said those words.

I've been contemplating the question for

the past week now, and I never thought he'd actually say yes! "Okay! Although Im not telling you what I'm making.." I teased and he sighed, causing me to giggle. "I'm sure you can wait, now make yourself comfortable..wait, actually..clean yourself up first." He paused, his smile turning to one of confusion. "Well, I don't have an extra pair of clothes." I frowned slightly, I hadn't thought of that..I should've.

"Hmm..your clothes aren't that bad.." I gently tried to swipe one of the small paint stains off of his shirt, making it smudge. "Sorry.." I muttered, he simply chuckled. "It's fine, my dear. I have plenty more sweaters like these, don't sweat it." Alastor said reassuringly, I nodded with a sigh before heading upstairs, pausing at the first step. "I'm just gonna get changed." With that, I continued up the stairs.

I could hear Alastor huff before sitting down onto the couch. I sighed quietly to myself, yes I felt a bit bad. But, it's only three splotches...he'll survive.

_______~*✰◇✰*~_______~*✰◇✰*~______

I came back downstairs five minutes later to find him zoning out on the couch, seems about right. "Heeellooo...? Earth to Alastor?" After I snapped my fingers in front of his face a couple of times, he blinked before looking up at me. "Oh..hey, darling. Sorry.." I shook my head, a reassuring smile on my face. "No need, we all do it sometimes..well, most times." We both shared a small laugh before I moved away from the couch and into the kitchen. "Now, as I said before..Im not you what I'm going to make, although it will be something form my culture!" I chirped as I got the pots and pans ready.

I already had meat thawed out, originally..I was just going to cook it for me, myself, and I. But now I have company, so there might not be any leftovers.

"Is that the only hint your going to give me?" Alastor teased from the living room, causing me to giggle under my breath. "Hmm..let me think, yes!" I said back from the kitchen, causing him to playfully huff. "Yeah, well..just let me know when your done!" He replied and I nodded. "Got it!" And with that, I began to get started with dinner. ________~*✰◇✰*~______~*✰◇✰*~______

(Sorry for another time skip 😭)

I watched in awe as Alastor scarfed down the traditional dinner I had made, I hadn't expected him to like it so much! When he was done I began to snicker, causing him to arch a brow as he looked up at me from his plate. "Why, I uh..didn't really expect you to actually enjoy it.." I whispered a bit shyly, I've never been the one to cook genuine meals. I commonly made small single person sized meals, never just..actual meals!

He chuckled and politely took his napkin before wiping his mouth and the corner of his lips with it. "Why, I never said I wouldn't." He teased, I gave him a soft smile before he spoke again. "What's this stuff called again, my dear?" I thought for a moment, how could I have forgotten the name? It's such a short one anyways. It popped up into my head, I blinked as I suddenly remembered it before answering him.

"Okra soup." I hummed, Alastor thought for a moment. "Could you possibly write down the recipe one of these days?" He asked a bit quietly, I nodded and looked down at his clean plate.

It still amazed me on how quickly he had finished that, and yet somehow..he still stays pretty lean. "You want me to take care of that for you?" I said with a quiet snicker. He glanced down at his plate, seemingly had forgotten about it. He just dismissively flicked his wrist. "No, it's okay. I can do it, I am the guest after all." A small tingly feeling rose to my cheeks, was I seriously blushing right now? I shook my head subtly before nodding at his words.

"Just put your plate into the sink, I can take care of it later." I said to him as he got up with his plate, I watched him leave the dining room before gently slapping my cheeks. As if trying to slap the blush away, yeah I know..pretty stupid.

I immediately stopped when Alastor walked back in, standing up from the table and grabbing my own plate as I did so.

"Heyyy..Al." I said quietly, he arched a brow at me. "Are you okay, darling?" He asked worridly, I nodded reassuringly. I didn't need him worrying about me, I hope.

"Yeah, of course I am!" I blurted out before covering my mouth. "I mean..I am, yes I am fine." I said a bit more quietly and politely, Alastor blinked before laughing. I huffed in embarrassment, putting my hands on my hips as I did so. "What? You've done the same thing once or twice whenever you talk to me!" I exclaimed, causing him to laugh even harder. I groaned and got my plate before heading into the kitchen and rinsing it off.

"Yes, yes. But it was still humorous!" Alastor called out from the dining room, I grumbled under my breath. To be honest, anything was humorous to this man. "Yeah, yeah.." I grunted under my breath before drying off my hands. I walked into the living room and sat down next to him. "It's still barely 8o'clock. There anything you wanna do?" I asked as I lazily leaned back. Alastor thought for a moment before shaking his head. "No, not really." I nodded before a question popped up in my mind.

"What time are you looking to go home?" I asked as I sat up, he stayed silent for a moment, odd. He's usually a chatterbox, maybe not today..I hope that's all it is. "Al?" He flinched as I said his name, his eyes wide for a moment before he glanced over at me. "Sorry..I just..sorry." I shook my head. "No, it's okay..although that's twice now." I reached to put my hand onto his shoulder before stopping myself, I needed to ask first.

"Do..you mind if I?-.." I whispered, gesturing to the way my hand was hovering over his shoulder. He shook his head and I placed my hand onto his right shoulder, rubbing it in a comforting way.

We sat in silence for a moment, both of us drowned in our thoughts before he spoke up. "Would it be alright if I were to stay the night?" Alastor asked hesitantly. I paused, that was unexpected. Especially since it was coming from him,

He never really wanted anyone to pity him or..he'd never really ask for comfort at all.

"Is there any reason on why you'd like to stay the night?" He shrugged, a longing look on his face. "No..well, yes. I just..you don't have to say yes, I can go back home if you like." I shook my head at his words. "Nonsense, you can take the couch for the night. I have extra blankets in my closet." I stood up from the couch and headed upstairs to my bedroom, I opened up my closet..I had a special velvety blanket. I usually kept it too myself, but..it's only for one night.

I grabbed the large and warm plush blanket before heading back downstairs into the living room. "I could wash your clothes for you, if you'd like." I said gently as I approached him. His posture was slumped and he looked defeated and tired. Poor guy.."That'd be nice, thank you." He said as he stood up from the couch, I nodded and turned around to give him some privacy as he undressed.

"You've asked me this question a bunch, so..now it's my turn to ask..are you okay, Alastor?" I asked quietly. He was quiet for a moment..the silence was uncomfortable and tense. I didn't like it, it made me anxious. "No." He said quietly, I froze..he'd never down right admit the truth when it came to his feelings..so why now?

"Can I turn around now?" I whispered, causing him to hum in response. I saw him in only his boxers, although I didn't care about that. I only cared about why he wasn't feeling well. "Why don't you feel well..mentally?" He seemed awfully hesitant to answer..although eventually he did. "I wouldn't like to share on why.." He muttured, I nodded and guided him back down to the couch, I then untucked the blanket from underneath my arm and handed it too him. "If you need anything, I'll be upstairs."

And with that, I headed into my room..his words plaguing my mind.

______~*✰◇✰*~_________~*✰◇✰*~_______

HALLOO I BEEN PREPPING FOR COLLAGE ND STUFFS, SO LIKE..IM GON BE UPDATING SLOWLY 😔😔

Like I promised..

Word count: 2246

Shh, it's good trust trust 😔🤘⛓️🖤

[youareaveryspecialpersonxxxx]

Boredom volume one

Everything is so embarrassing. being genuine makes me cringe. when im not in love with someone i have no idea who i am or what to do all day. i write about how everything is so embarrassing. i buy mint flavored electronic cigarettes and vape until my hands shake, and when i don’t have the plastic tube in my mouth because it dies or runs out i supplement by popping wintergreen breath mints constantly. i have gone through about one container every day since we broke up.

My brain is crumbling, like how i imagine a preserved butterfly wing would if you touched it. Or what would happen to an old Monet if you let the icky oil on all your fingertips mess with the molecules of the paint or whatever. I never realized that my only hobbies were sucking on necks, texting I love yous, and reading books that were earnestly recommended to me. I know how to look at someone with wide disarming eyes and bat my eyelashes, then turn around and joke that I’m not charming; i don’t know how to fill a day by myself. i am crawling inside a huge vat of molasses, armed only with a graph-papered journal and overdue library books. i push my hands and my arms through the inky thick, and once a day or so i get into the car and sting my hands on the black steering wheel that’s absorbed all of the day’s 102 degrees of heat. i go back home. i sit on the couch. sometimes i’m so bored that i talk to the dog. i watch tv until my head hurts from the screen, i check if he still has our photo on his social media pages, the one where he’s sitting in my lap and im wearing a blue striped shirt, his face turned to me in shock, my face a cats-got-your-tongue grin. small miracle he hasn’t taken it down yet, i think every time i check. that’ll probably be the moment when all of this really sets in.

how do voluntarily single people do this, sitting around all day without someone always on your mind, always above you, always whispering in an animal pitch only your ears are tuned to? that wants to know your every impulse, how you are feeling and what you are doing and how you feel about what you are doing? how you feel about how you’re feeling? what are you up to this weekend, omg i wish i could be there with you, i miss you, i love you infinitely, this is real, we’re forever. i feel like the channel my brain was tuned to, thought it would always be tuned to, got disconnected, turned to static before i could put my feet down firmly on the ground. 

i’ve asked about four of my friends to recommend hobbies to me. one said that i should start styling people; i used to like clothes, but now im too apathetic to buy them, or care about how many rolls of fat they produce on my waistline, one or two. one friend said that i should spend a month just sleeping with women and turning myself lesbian again, and that i should’ve known being with a guy was a futile exercise. two of the others smiled uncomfortably, without teeth. one is in a relationship, about to move in with her girlfriend. i feel that her reticence to acknowledge my situation, much less provide any advice on it, is reflective of her own fear that the same thing will happen to her, when there is more at stake and it’s not as easy as going back to school and saying hi in the hallways instead of hosting giggly sleepovers every other night. 

which is not to say that going back to school will be easy. we have all our stuff in storage together. I haven’t even broken it to him that I lost the key to the unit yet, but I’m hoping i get it handled before i have to break the news in the first place. it’s a thirty minute drive away, with him, which means plenty of silent time to remember how he used to look at me when i would drive and he took passenger, how i would put my hand on the side of his thigh, and how the day we put our stuff there in the first place, i let him sleep and listened to music on earphones because it turns out Uhaul vans don’t have speakers. Surprise! That day, we couldn’t connect our phones, so I played the radio, because silence kills me, it kills me, and Katy Perry came on, “Last friday night”, and i asked if it was okay how loud it was, because he had a headache. He said “of course, of course, it’s fine.” but there was this pained expression on his face for a couple minutes, and when I turned it off he said “Thank God! I hated it.” Us in a nutshell I suppose. Cheers to August.

[hypercore-coconut-mall]

Ok I gotta say this fr

Arcane season 2 was not as good as season one. I am not talking about the animation and not the pacing.

More than season 1 season 2 feels like a music video in terms of story telling language - even if you disregard the actual music video sequences used in place of cold opens. Caitlyn’s grief, paint the town blue, rising tensions between the chembarrons; they all should have been half an episode, even a full episode so we could get a sense of what changed and how and most importantly why we should care

It’s not that the plot doesn’t make sense, it’s that there’s too much of it and no time to breathe. Most story lines feel cheap, not because they’re unbelievable but because they feel unearned. Character in season 1 is built around a core distrust and hatred of enforcers. It doesn’t feel unrealistic that she might be so afraid and hurt by the turn Jinx has taken, so in love with Cait- and to see the life she offers as a new path to walk- that she might become an enforcer. But that journey takes place over the course of an episode. A core personality trait that took 9 episodes to build is undone by one episode where the emotional core is summarized by a music video. Cheap.

So overall I LOVE season two despite these flaws. Im obsessed with the places all these characters end up! But imagine how crazy it would have been if those things felt a bit more earned. If they had fleshed everything out like in season 1.

I don’t think it’s controversial to wish they had a third season to explore all the plot lines and themes of season 2! I wish Mel and Jayce got to explore their relationship post anomaly/black rose! We don’t get to know this Jayce. The tensions between this Jayce, this Viktor, that Viktor- don’t really have a chance to build.

Mel is suddenly pretty good at magic, but what happened to her political savvy - who is she now that she has magic? How does this change her goals and what paths she takes to achieve them

Also jinx. I can buy that she’s more stable now but only bc I’m obsessed with the universe, not because it was explained well.

We could have learned who the fuck Loris was, we could have had the chance to like Maddie, to feel hurt by her betrayal instead of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about her death.

There’s so much left on the table. To imagine at one point this was all one season is batshit. Give me a 24 episode season (with mid season break) again and then it’d make sense. But not 18 episodes total

Anyway. I just wanted to express that contradiction. This season was so good but imagine how much more we could have had! They put it in the show! But it felt cheaper for it.

[blueberry-mufffinz]

ROBLOX OCS

Okay Actually Wait Before I COntinue Okay So I Like. For One Dont Think Too Hard About The World Around Them Bc I Know Its Roblox But Also Me N My Friend Just Made Shit Up On The Spot Second I Really Like These Guys But Idk If Theyre Like. Cringe Or Whatever So Uh. If They Are Block Me Or Smthn I Guess Sorry Man Anyways This Bouta Be A Long Ass Post So Literally Everything Undercut

GITE

Okay So. Gite, Along With Their Counterpart Who I'll Take About Later, Originally Was Just. An Outfit I Made Using A Bunch Of Items I Had On Hand. Then My Friend Had Me Turn Them Into An OC Which Is Actually What Started This Entire Thing And Goodness Gracious Do I Have A Lot Of Little Guys Now>

Notes

Maasssivee Fucking Yapper. Does Not Stop Yapping Worlds Biggest Yapper

Theyre Very Headstrong And Also A Littleee Tiny Bit Obnoxious Man Oh Man I Sure Do Wonder Why(Yapper)

Gite Plays Whatever (Roblox)Games Reck Plays, Originally Played Obbies

Poor Understanding Of Personal Space, Also Thinks Reck Should Be More Friendly And Talk To People

Uses Sarcasm Somewhat Often But It Always Sounds Friendly Or Passive Aggressive

Cannot Fly With Their Wings

This Guy Dont Rlly Got Much Lore So I Wont Like Make A Dedicated Lore Second For Him But, Okay This Is Where The Like Worldbuilding Gets Confusing But Bare With Me Here Okay, Gite And Reck Are Counterparts Because They Were Like. Spawned(??) At The Same Time In Cribs Next To Each Other. As Those Little. Pill Baby Things Life In Paradise Style Yeah

-----------------------------

RECK

Same Thing With Gite Reck Was Originally An Outfit Then Turned Into An OC I Honestly Dont Rlly Like His Wings But Aint No Way Im Buying New Ones When I. Actually Buy The Outfit Because Genuinely I Only Own Gite's Outfit Out Of All These OCs

Notes

Far More Introverted(???) Than Gite, Doesnt Yap Nearly As Much More Of A Listener

Pretty Calm And Chill Guy Honestly, Just Vibin'

Listens To Music Literally Whenever Possible, I Would Say 24/7 But Not 24/7 Because Gite Exists

Plays A Lot Of Tycoons Usually, But Also Sometimes Jumps Around To Try And Avoid Gite(Gite Keeps Finding Them)

Also I Think Reck Has That Retail Worker Tiredness Like In General I Think Reck Works Retail

Thinks Gite Needs To Back The Fuck Off And Learn Some Personal Space

Very Firm With Their Boundries. If Theyre Unhappy Or Uncomfortable With The Things Youre Doing Theyll Let You Know.

CAN Fly With Their Wings

Gite&Reck Notes

There's Some Notes That Apply To Both Of Them So Like-

Gite And Reck Like. Dont Like Each Other. They Dont Hate Each Other But They Sure As Hell Dont Like Each Other

Theyve Never Said They Hated Each Other But Sometimes They Call Each Other Annoying

I Think Maybe Perhaps I Havent Decided Honestly That They Become Lovers At. Some Point I Dont Know When

-----------------------------

DRAGON LOSER/FLORAL

Okay YEAH I Know Her Name Is A Little Mean But Like. For Context Some Of These Guys Get Names Based On Experience And Like. Itll Make Sense Soon I Swear

Notes

Plays A TON Of Dragon Games, Primarily Dragons Life And Dragon Adventures

Floral Is More Like Their "Roleplay" Name So Technically Her Name Is Really Just Dragon Loser, DL For Short Btw, But Dont Worry About It

They Have A Minor Liking For Fishes, But Its Mostly Dragons(But If Something Is Like- A Fantasy Sea Dragon She Goes CRAZY Over That Stuff)

She Incredibly Friendly And Will Just Walk Up To People And Start Talking Which is Probably Why She Thrives In RP Games So Much

Her Name Doesnt Effect Her In The Slightest

Can In Fact See Despite Their Eyes Not Being Visible

The Paint Is Actually Because Their Head Is Constantly Spewing Paint And Its Actually The Reason They Have A Hat On But Yeah Wiping It Away Wont Help With Anything

Chains Are Purely Aesthetic

-----------------------------

SOUL WANDER

This Guy I Made Like Purely As A Rival Of Some Form For My Friend's OC, Who Ill Be Calling F Because Yeah Also Im Shortening SOUL WANDER(yes its capitalized like that every time)'s Name To SW Because There Is No Way Im Typing That Every Single Time

Notes

Mysterious Guy, Fairly Quiet And Speaks In Vague Terms. Sometimes Riddles If He Feels Like It

Also He's A Little Smug

Ghostwalker(yes the SFOTH sword) Fanboy If You Couldnt Tell By The Shirt

Fucking HATES F, Like Knife Through A Picture Of Him On A Wall Type Of Hate. Does Not Like That Guy In The Slightest

Drops The Whole Vague Thing When Talking To F For Reasons I Genuinely Have Not Figured Out

Lives Alone And Also Doesnt Friends

And He's Also Poor Barely Paying For His Apartment And Food(I Dont Even Know How He's Making Money Honestly)

Like Genuinely Sleeps In A Corner With A Single Blanket Like I Feel Kinda Bad And He's My OC

Literally He Doesnt Even Care Either We Love Poor Self Preservation/j

Practically Half-Blind Pretty Much Also Taking Off Those Bandages WILL Flashbang Him He's Had Them On For So Long

The Face Shadow Thing Is Some He Can Do Entirely At Will

Used To Own A Cat

Ngl I Forgot To Write This But He Plays SFOTH Primarily And. Yeah Thats It Honestly

Lore

Look At That First Guy To Have Actual Thought Out Lore Lets Go Wahoo When SW Was Younger He'd Participate In Like Illegal Fighting Rings Or Whatever To Make Money. Nobody Is Supposed To Die But He Accidentally Kill A Person(Who Is An OC Ill Talk About Later) Once Near When He Started Because He Went To Into A Blind Panic And Punched Them To Death. Uh. Somebody(Also An OC Ill Talk ABout Later) Close To This Person Took Revenge Against SW And Brought A Knife Into The Fight In A Attempt To Blind SW, It??? Half-Worked Because The Sight In His Covered Eye Is Really Blurry(Eye Wasnt Punctured Fully But Got Damaged). This Situation Is Also Indirectly The Cause Of The Whole Vague Thing He Does, Because The Person Who Almost Blinded Him Is Tracking Him Down And Trying To Get Information On Him And SW KNOWS That So He Speaks Very Vague Because He's Paranoid As Fuck. ALSO! He Used To Own A White Cat He Named Spirit But F Stole Spirit When He Was Drunk And Then Kept Her So Now SW Thinks Spirit Is Dead But Actually F Has Her And Renamed Her Sparkle. SW Feels Really Bad For Failing To Care For Spirit, Used To Sacrifice Eating To Feed Her. Anyways Somewhere At Some Point In The Future SW Finally Gets Tracked Down, Cause Its Guarenteed To Happen At Some Point, And Gets Like Entirely Blinded I Drew Art Of Him Actually Ill Put All The Art Of These Guys At The End I Swear Anyways Yeah Gets Fully Blinded And Also One Of His Head Wings Gets Chopped To A Nub Also He Cant Do Whatever The Hell He Was Doing To Make Money Anymore So He's Homeless Again(Forgot To Mention He Was Homeless When Younger) But Its. Significantly More Difficult Now That He's Blind. And Also The Paranoia Is Still There Because He Literally Cant See And Also He Goes Entirely Silent Stops Speaking Completely GOODNESS I YAPPED SORRY!!!

-----------------------------

CAUTION: HAZARD

This Is The Guy Responsible For Almost Blinding, Eventually Fully Blinding, SW. Im Callin Him C:H For Short Because Again Im Not Typing All That Shit Out. I Dont Actually Have A Lot On This Guy or His Brother So Hopefully This Is Shorter Than SW's Section

Notes

Him And His Brother Are Aggressive In Nature, Hence The Whole Caution Thing

Barbarically Aggressive

Played Like. A Bunch A Ro:Bio N Shit With His Brother

Lore

C:H Watched SW Kill His Brother In The Fighting Ring, Overheard SW Talking About How He Went Into A Blind Panic And Decided "Why Dont I Make Him Actually Blind" So Uh. Yeah. His Plan Is To Catch SW Off-Guard In An Isolated Area Which Is Difficult Because Of SW's Paranoia. Has Sent People To Try And Get Information From SW Or Get Close To SW, So SW's Still Persistent Paranoia Is Valid

-----------------------------

CAUTION: RADIATION

This Is The Guy That SW Accidentally Killed. Callin Him C:R Because Long Ass Name. He's Not A Ghost Or Anythin Btw But If He Was He'd Be Actively Cheering C:H On Also Dont Have Much Information With This Guy Sorry

Notes

Yeah He Played Ro:Bio With C:H

And Again Yeah Naturally Aggressive

C:R Is More Sinsterly Aggressive If That Makes Sense

The Toxic Waste On His Head IS Apart Of Him The Barrel Is Not, Barrel For Aesthetic

Toxic Fumes Naturally Eminate From His Mouth, It Doesnt Smell Like Anything But Again It Is Toxic So Mask Holds Filters It Out

He's Immune To It Though So Its Okay

Lore

Not Much Lore Honestly But Basically Like. What Happened Is He Got Punched In The Gut Rlly Hard Which Winded Him Or Whatever Like Out Of Breath And Then Punched In The Jaw So Broken Jaw And Then SW Just Kept Punching Him Til He Died He Did Not Expect, What Percieved As, The Dumb Scared Kid To Straight Up Kill Him

-----------------------------

ABNORMALITY/MORPHO

Okay Last One I Swear Anyways Morpho Here Is Based Of Abnormality Dancin' Girl. I Was Listening To The Song And I Had A Vision™ And Went On A Spree Making Them

Notes

Okay To Start, I Will Be Using They/Them For Them Because Theyre Good With They/Them Pronouns Yes Thats Fine But Internally They Naturally Refer To Themself With It/Its For Lore Reasons

MASSIVE People Pleaser Like REALLY REALLY Big People Pleaser Its Genuinely Detrimental To Their Mental Health

Also A Social Chameleon To The Extreme, Changes Their Personality The Way They Talk And They Way They Dress Just To Fit In With The People Theyre Talking To

Used To Play A Lot Of Simulators And Tower Defense Games. Especially Tower Defense They Were Pretty Good At Those

Lore

Morpho Doesnt Really Know Who They Are Anymore. Theyve Been Changing And People Pleasing For So Long That They Dont Even Know If Theyre A Person, Thinking Of Themself As More Of An Object On On A Stage All Of This Changing Is Literally Like Physically Tearing Them Apart The Switching And Trying To Be Someone Thats A Them They Dont Know Is Physically Destroying Them They Cant Stop Though, Theyre So Tired And Nothing Feels Good Anymore But They Just Cant Stop. Theyre A Ticking Time Bomb Waiting To Die, Waiting To Scatter Into Thousands Of Blue Butterflies Even Then Their Efforts Will End Up For Nothing. The More They Switch And People Please The More They Fall Apart, And The More They Fall Apart The More People Leave, Which Then Causes Them To Change And People Please Even More And Try Even Harder Which Makes Them Fall Apart More And Its Just A Downwards Spiral Speeding Towards Their Death. Uhh. All Of This Started From A Person(I Might Leave This Person Unknown), Who They Were Really Really Close To And Told Everything To, Ghosting Them Suddenly And Leaving Them For Someone Else

-----------------------------

Art Time Yippe Hoorayy

This Is Gonna Go In Order, Also As A Note I Have Not Drawn DL, C:H, C:R, OR Morpho Yet. I Will Ebventually Just. Later.

This Next One W/ Gite And Reck Is Like A Comic Sortve I Made It Rlly Late At Night And Its A Situation That Will Happen At. Some Point Idk When. Dialogue Is Messy im Bad At Dialogue.

I Love Making Angst Of My OCs :)) Anyways Gite Yapping

I Cant Believe I Forgot To Put This Ill Just Put It Here But Reck Does Not Listen To A Word Gite Says A Majority of The Time. Gite Can Say The Most Out Of Pocket Shit Ever And Reck Will Go "Uh Huh Yeah" And Reck Wont Even Notice Until Gite Points It Out

Anyways SW Art Yayayay

Silly Little Video Of What Happened Heehoo Also Last Frame PNG Bc Yeah

Also Here's That Blinded SW Drawing I Promised

Okay Sorry For Yapping Those R All My Guys Wahoo

[letters-to-dad]

I got 3 days of PTO

I for three days of PTO grieve your loss. 3 days to put up construction tape and build bridges around the gap your absence left in my life.

Instead I called the VA. I informed your mother about your death. I wrote lists and cancelled credit cards and came to the end of those three days with eyes bleary from computer screens and heavy from I shed tears.

I had to pry my grief from the grasp of capitalism, hide in dark corners of the morning and evening to paint my eyes black and bleed the tears they would not let me shed.

I had three days to grieve you death. Now three weeks later and my body sags under the weight it cannot keep carrying. I stare dully at my computer screen, the will to type words into sentences that another man can buy gone along with your body.

I read how to be grieve. Ironically, I wrote about how to grieve to. “7 steps to grieve a loved one.”

Step one- ask for paid time off

Step two- be denied.

Step three- calculate how much your grief means to you.

You would have hated it here. You would have said “fuck them” and quit on the spot.

But I haven’t had time to tape up the wall you blew out and my structure is sagging if I lay down now I think I will not get back up.

I got three days of PTO when you died, so I cut myself a mullet and bought concert tickets I couldn’t afford and yelled until my throat was sore.

I was told there would be black clothes on the mirrors, that people would come and give you food so you don’t have to cook, that there would be time- time to grieve and time to celebrate and time to plan and time to recover.

I got three days.

I am not god I cannot commit miracles this stone has not rolled away, it still sits as heavy on my chest as a tomb stone.

The criers came, calling out your death. The city did not mourn. The businesses did not shutter their windows. The world kept on burning.

I find myself counting down the days until it is unacceptable to say “sorry, my dad died recently.” Do I have to get up and be a person again? Will my energy return? My thoughts? My stream of consciousness? I used to have a voice in my head to keep me company. She is quiet now. I think she is grieving, even if I can’t.

I’m counting down the days until people’s pity wears out. “Take your time,” they said. “Take all the time you need.”

They don’t mean that.

Three weeks and it’s turned into-

“We miss you”

“Are you okay?”

“Will you send this email set up this meeting why our are numbers going down what’s your good news?”

My good news???

What’s my good news?

My good news is that my boss gave me 3 days of PTO and said when he was an engineer he only got half a day.

I got three days to mourn your loss and that barely covered the time it took to find a place to burn your body and tell all your friends.

Three days to mourn and my body will wear the toll forever.

I’m tired. You would want me to rest but I don’t know how. Life goes on. God I hate that. I hate that life goes on. I hate that the government needs to know that you’re dead. Why do they need to know? I hate that I have to worry about after death scams and cancelling your credit card company and how the credit Berau won’t return my calls so I’m stuck waiting for three hours just for them to say “I’m sorry I can’t give you access to that account because you are not the owner of the account.”

The owner of the account is dead and yes i know im calling after hours i had to work 9-5 today and had to stop by for your ashes after work-

I’m tired. I don’t think I’ll ever not be tired again.

[freebooter4ever]

look, this has been in the back of my mind all night. the friend i was with - jenn - is most likely ace/aro or some combination. She actively enjoys being single and her solitude.

Im not. :( i'm romantic as shit, i get really clingy if im with someone (trying to be less so), and when i fall in love its like...its like what my grandma once said about grandpa - the 'usual routine' never felt 'usual' as long as he was the one she was with. Even the mundane becomes a joy because you are sharing it with a person who could be reading the phone book and you'd find it interesting.

I have had a bunch of relationships like this over the years - most friendships (one love and we all know who LOL). My dance buddy in the burgh just broke up with her partner of 14 years and jokingly suggested that while im in town she's going to put me to work assembling ikea furniture for her (because all the stuff in their apartment was his) and i immediately was like YES because a) i love ikea furniture and b) this is one of those friends who we could do anything - we could go to the grocery store to buy nothing important, and still have a good time. Making her smile and laugh at me is a highlight in life. I used to do jazz hands at random stupid times in class just because i knew it would make her giggle across the room whenever i did.

I tend to focus on these friendships - if i have a friendship like that (and i currently have two here in LA), then i am very capable of ignoring dating entirely even if im still romantically lonely.

I guess what im saying is, even if i die a lonely old maid at least i wont have 'settled'. Im not in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. (and im not saying people who choose that are bad, its just not my way). If i fall in love then i fall IN LOVE, and i'll know it.

So turn the wording around. The person being single isn't pathetic. I would rather choose loneliness than date YOU. What does that say about this hypotehtical you? Pretty sure that makes you -person on a high horse trying to paint me as sad- the pathetic one. I would rather be the person with a community of friends still waiting for love, than be with someone who is mean. And i have experienced a LOT of meanness in my life from people who claimed to 'love' me over the years. I know im ugly, i have had EVERY single physical flaw pointed out, i know guys especially are only with me for my 'personality', i know the minute my anxiety/depression slips past my control im a 'burden' to be 'dealt with', i am more work than i am worth.

fine. Ok. Ive been told all this. But Im done listening to that shit. I would rather give my love plantonically to my friends, and just deal with the romantic needs in other ways -vicariously, writing, reading etc. Cause frankly? I have a lot of friends who are a lot like me, and i find it easy to love them even if its not romantic. And screw anyone who says we aren't loveable.

Hi, it's me from the future. Not to spoil the ending or anything but you died single. You also became a cat lady and owned 2 chonk cats.

lmao im not entirely sure what to make of this 🤣

[mommypieck]

༺ ♱ ༻ kinktober day four: missionary/breath play

✿ hange zoe

✿ tutor hange fucks dumb bimbo girl instead of studying

your head rests in your hand as you listen to your biology teacher rambling about your test mark. it's not the first time u failed your test and you're pretty much failing. when you decided to study medicine, you did it just because u wanted to be rich, you sure as hell weren't expecting most of your curses to be either about biology or science.

other people would call you picnic short of a sandwich but u just want to have money so you can buy pretty skirts and dresses. every since you were little, you loved makeup and fashion more than anything. and when you entered high school some started calling you bimbo or the dumb pretty girl.

you never cared much about it though. everyone has their title in school and you just happened to have this one. at least im not a geek or a weirdo, you thought to yourself. the thought of someone calling you a weird girl instead of a pretty girl makes you wanna puke.

"so y/n, as it seems like you are getting nowehere by yourself. im gonna assist hange to help you out with your school work." the teacher says and folds her hands on the desk as if she accomplished something. you can't help but to chuckle at that move.

"right ms. __. it's a pleasure to help others with what i love the most." you hear other voice say from behind you. you turned around to be met with a tall person with glasses.

oh god, a nerd, you think to yourself.

you turn around to face the teacher, regretting that you didn't wear a shorter skirt today. sometimes even women can't resist when you wear your short skirts. not like you would do something with a girl, that happened only one or twice... or it happens every thursday with your friend in the bathroom stall.

"ehm ehm," the person behind you clears their voice, "my name is hange. im gonna be tutoring you. nice to meet you."

you want to protest that you've never asked for tutoring, but the person is already shaking your hand with their sweaty one.

oh god, how am i gonna survive this? the thought makes you wanna pout and beg the teacher to assign someone different.

"hey, im here." the person says again to catch your attention. you take a good look at them for the first time. their hair is super greasy that you wouldn't be surprised if you could fry something on it during hot weather. their glasses fell down on the bridge of their nose. their clothes are dirty with all sorts of paint and they smell horribly.

"great." you mumble out, preparing to die if you spend more seconds with them.

"great!" they yell out with excitement, "my car is parked outside. so we can drive to my apartment." you can promise that you have never seen more excited person to be tutoring someone.

you follow them like a lost puppy already dealt with the whole situation. they are much more steps in front of you, almost jumping with every step.

they stop in front of their car and you can't help but to note that their car is really nice. it's almost as dirty as they are, but it's the latest model. (you learned some stuff about cars from the boys you hooked up with)

your face jumps in surprise when they open the door for you to jump it, firstly dusting the seat for you to sit in. it's a small gesture but it catches your eyes. they sit next to you, turning to face you. they give you one quick wink before they start the engine.

"oh come on, y/n," they say for the hundred time this afternoon, "it's a simple question."

they groan into the pillow they are holding, rolling over on their bed.

you found out hange isn't the worst case you could've met with. sure, they are messy and spell, and their apartment is more of a dungeon than an apartment, but surprisingly, the change of environment makes you excited.

"i don't know." you whine out in bored voice. for the past few minutes you were more interested on how hanges nose looks rideable than on biology. of course you don't find hange attractive, but the way, they scrunch their eyebrows together every time you get the answer wrong, is just... yummy.

you move in your seat, rubbing your thighs together. i wanna play, you think to yourself.

"tell me, hange," you start of with your little game, "are you a virgin?"

you notice the way they freeze, eyes traveling from the book to your face. bingo. they clear their voice before they speak up, "no, i am not a virgin."

your mouth fell open at their response. you expected them to be one, pointing at how they dress or act. a tiny part of you likes this answer even more.

you move to sit even closer to them, one of your hands tangling under hanges and the second resting on their thigh. you let your head to fall on their shoulder as you look them straight in the eyes.

"how experienced are you?" you ask, tracing little hearts with your fingers on their arm. they look down to see what you are going before answering, "enough to make you cry."

their voice is deeper than before and you can feel their eyes scanning your every more. you start to be a little nervous, every gaze they give you burning your body.

you shakily move your hand to rest on top of their bulge. you can't help but to flutter your eyelashes at them, afraid they might back off now.

"that's it." they say, but it ends up sounding more like a moan. you yell out when their drag you by your legs to the center of the bed. you want to say something, but your mouth is already occupied by hanges lips. they lick into your mouth, kissing you like their life depended on it. the kiss is messy and wet and you can feel the spit running down your chin, but you seriously don't care. you aren't used to people acting like this with you, everyone else has always treated you like a fragile flower, but their is what you were missing.

hanges lips move down to your neck, licking and sucking on it, marking you up. when their lips meet the swell of your breats, they rip your white skirt apart, leaving your just in your bra.

they stop for a moment to smile at you, clearly enjoying the view in front of them.

before you can plead them to continue, their hands are on your breasts, massaging and pinching the skin. they hold the cups and with one swift moment, they rip it off too. their mouth is on your nipple the next second. they take their time licking and sucking on it, sometimes even biting it and making you yelp.

while one of their hands is busy fondling your tit, the other slithers down to your panties.

"no hange, not the skirt." you plead, afraid that they might rip the skirt too. they chuckle against your nipple, sending vibration down to your core.

"i would never rip that skirt." they say and you can feel them ripping off your panties. the waste no time with pleasing you, their fingers dancing on your clit, making you whine out like never before. you can feel that they know what they are doing and what you need, as if they knew your body their whole life. their lips touch your cheek again, giving you a sweet kiss.

"i don't waste time with preparing dumb girls. they are loose enough for me to wreck them." they whisper in your ear. you hear their belt rumbling and their hot cock is at your opening the next second, already slowly pushing in. you know that it's no use to plead them to slow down. their tip roughly entering you as they force their entire cock into your small hole. your back arches of the bed, tits bouncing with the force. a loud moan followed by "take it" rips out of hanges throat, making you moan out too. they set slow but rough pace, their thrusts meeting your cervix everytime.

your eyes screw shut as their thrusts get faster in pace.

"hurts," you whine out, looking at hange, your tongue falling out of your mouth. they smile at your reaction, going even faster than before. you can feel your orgasm building up in your core with every move of their hips. suddenly their hands are at your throat, squeezing and stopping all oxygen from your lungs.

"take it, take it, take it," they repeat with every thrust, their orgasm slowly building up too.

your vision goes blank as you cum all over hanges sheets. you have never cum so much in your entire life. they follow you shortly after, shooting their seed on your bully and tits.

you breathe out as you lay on their bed, looking at them. they stand up saying, "come on, dummy, now let's study, so i can fuck you again later."

[artanddaddyissues]

The M6 with their children <3

IM SOBBING THIS IS SO CUTE

Heads up: MC text is yellow, PURE fluff, they/them pronouns for the kiddos, the Li's partners have fem pronouns <3

If you want some more baby content, go here! I will fuel your baby fever 😩

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- EXTREMELY loving parent <3

- if you thought Asra was caring and worried towards you, just imagine them with your kid.

- "You SCRAPED your KNEE? MC! OUR CHILD IS DYING!" "Asra no-"

- frantic healing spells and healing magic are always on the ready, since your child is very, very curious.

- constantly checking up on their child, making sure that kid is living their best life.

- Asra raises them with magic and holds back tears when they nail a new spell.

- "Yes! I'm so proud of you, that was perfect!" "Can I try another? "Oh my- I could cry." "But you are crying-"

- Absolutely IN AWE with the life he helped to create

- Doesn't believe that somebody as... messy... as himself, could create something so perfect.

- "Look at that! they've got my eyes."

- Julian is the proudest, of proud dads. he will take any chance he gets to boast about his kid

- "MC! GET OVER HERE THEY'RE STANDING UP!"

- Records everything in a notebook, filling it with drawings and pages and pages of notes, studying behaviour and keeping memories.

- Since the baby, he's put himself on strict schedule. He gave himself tasks and laid out everything he'll do with the kid up until the age of 16.

- "Hey papa, can we buy a dog?" "Well, your mama will probably say no." "So, then we dont buy one?" "You're right, we steal one!" "ILYA."

- MOTHER NADIA >

- Ultimate nurturer

- She will spoil this kid rotten and you have no say in this.

- She will put them in the best schools in all of Vesuvia

- Will teach them how to ride horses

- Will teach them how to create their own magical gate while you teach them magic

- When the baby was born, she secretly started planning all their birthday gifts up until they were an adult and began a photo album

- Nadia would take her kid on many royal engagements, to show them what it takes to be a good leader

- "But mom..." "I'm not hearing it now dear, we're already on the road. Plus, these nobles frustrate me so later, we can talk about them over tea." "Okay, that doesn't sound so bad now."

- “hey kid come here” “Dad I have a name-” “yeah but kid is easier. Want to go bother mom?” “Absolutely I do.”

- They are your worst enemies. Some Godforsaken tag team of dueling in the halls, painting on the empty walls, pranking the staff, swimming in the fountain and so, so much more.

- This kid grows up half you and half Lucio

- He doesn't waste a minute to start teaching the kid how to survive in the wild, like his mother did.

- Many people, including yourself thought that Lucio would be careless and teach his kid how to party first but it turns out that something in him changed with a kid.

- "My mama told me to never run from musk bears but they smell awful so take it from me and run." "Oka-" "Always find out which way the wind is blowing, it might mess up your shots." "Alrigh-" "when you're in the cold, don't stop moving. Keep moving, keep your hands close to you, make sure you maintain a-" "Dad please... It's literally summer."

- The equivalent of mother nature to her child.

- As soon as the baby was born, Portia got another cat for the baby and soon enough they became best friends.

- She teaches her kid about the seas, the stars, and gardening. Especially gardening.

- Your kid is feisty and very, very manipulative.

"But-" "Just because they're cute, doesn't mean they can have-" "M/C LOOK AT THEM."

- Portia adores her little baby and carries them around on her back in a scarf / sash

- She wastes no time in teaching them how to read and write.

- 100% would make flashcards and sit down with the baby for hours

- Trips to Nevivon skyrocket because Portia is such a proud mama.

- She also needs help taking care of a baby because she only knows cats and plants

- "What does it mean when they constantly brings me gifts?" "They hang out with their cat a lot.” "Oh-"

- Portia is the body positive queen <3 this baby will grow up so confident because of the constant love of their mamas <3

- Lowkey a millennial mom. Very protective over her kid

- "M/C what do i do?"

- Muriel is very nurturing and patient

- Lets the baby roll around in dirt, play with sticks, ride Inanna like a pony

- The fun / protective dad

- Muriel will do anything to protect his baby

- He loves to hold his kid

- "Muriel, they're 10-" "Still small enough for me to carry."

- By the time the kid is 12, they can survive completely off the grid. no questions asked.

- Muriel's weakness is his child's smile. Anytime this kid smiles or laughs, he gives in.

- Very much the, "I don't need it, they do." type of dad

- His child is very curious and always wants to take him on little trips and adventures through the city. As much as Muriel complains, he secretly loves it.

[willowser]

NOOO UR MAKING ME SO SAD one day he doesn’t come back and so u decide to move on and then he comes back literally YEARS later and sees u w a new man and his heart is BROKEN im so sad omfg

OMG. CRYING.

you run into him on the street, just as you did the first time.

you've married a decently wealthy man, one with enough money that you're free to pour all your time into painting and you do quite well, are able to sell them and host them in small museums and general markets during the week. you've moved, to be with your new husband, so you're no longer in your small village of drunks and thieves, and you're quite happy with the life you've built around you.

it's full of art and curiosity: your husband buys you a brand new telescope from a different country, top of the line. it's bigger than your old one and it takes you longer to figure out the dials and knobs, but when you do — the views you get are breathtaking. you paint what you find, all the shapes you discover in the constellations. very rarely is the sea your muse, these days; all those works became sad and unfinished, dark portraits of a ship far out in the distance that never sailed any closer, no many how many times you painted it.

the necklace lies at the bottom of your first jewelry box, chain broken from when you'd ripped it off and tried to throw it into a tide just as furious as you had been — but it never left your clenched fist.

it's not your painting he comes across, but someone else's star-map. for sale, at the local market, and you've stopped to enjoy the work the artist has done, chatting with them about what you've found when another customer wanders up beside you and says,

"'sea goddess', hmm," a hand reaches around you, too close for your liking, to pick up a reimagined constellation on display. "heard the woman it's named for is more beautiful than all the seven seas in the middle of a hurricane."

the artist frowns, because it's his piece, but indulges the customer anyway. "and what woman would that be?"

and your blood runs cold at the sound of your name, slowly turning to peer around you shoulder, to take in the figure that's uttered it. bigger than you remember, and darker, hair tied back in a tidier bun than usual. in his grip in his weathered hat, torn and nearly destroyed; a testament to the voyage he's had, maybe. and when he raises one hand in a soft wave, the flat of his palm is exposed, the pendant from your necklace in fading ink at its center.

kirishima is older now, as are you, with more scars along his nose and under his jaw, a jagged one across his neck that has tears stinging your eyes. but despite his edges — the smile on his face is soft, sad, and the light in his vibrant eyes hardly flickers as he takes in you and all your changes. as if he's been extinguished for quite some time, and only just now burning again.

"i never stopped lookin'," he murmurs suddenly, uncaring of the merchant as he dares to edge closer to you. his skin smells sharp and clean like aftershave, though the shadows on his face linger. "took a long time for me to find you."

and you feel like his violent sea, his crashing waves; despite the tears that track your cheeks, you remain stone-faced, trying to tide back the rage — the hurricane you want to be. "me?" you whisper, incensed. "to find me?"

his face falls and his eyes slip to the floor, ashamed, but he still tries, stepping further into you when he speaks again. "i know, didn't mean it like that. but i—" one hand gently rests on your elbow, while the other finds your own and you jump, startled and angry at how forward thinks he can be after all this time and yet — you let his rough fingers brush over yours, over the short silk gloves covering your skin. "i did search for you, i wanted to come home. i was always gonna come home—"

"don't—" you hiss, but he doesn't let you go far, following through the step you take back from him. on purpose, you think he pushes his palm into your fingers, as if wants you to feel the mark he still wears for you. "home? how dare you—"

"i know, 'm sorry," he whispers, so close that you can see the freckles on the bridge of his nose and the golden stars in his eyes and the desperation in the lines of his face. "i'm sorry, i'll always be—"

"darling?"

you pull away from him in no time, wiping a gloved hand over your cheeks before turning to face your husband who stands only feet from you, holding a new lens for your telescope. his eyes jump back and forth between you and kirishima, but you give him no longer to consider what he sees.

"yes, excuse me. let's go." you slip out of range when kirishima backs up a step, started probably, at the title and the arm your loop through your husband's. only once does he try to turn back to the figure, as still as a dead man, but you tighten your grip on him and don't look back.

[gegewrites]

Ashtray- This Bitch

1-28-22

Words idk

Edited nah obvi

Pure platonic

ashtrays pov-

this bitch. this blonde herion whore bimbo bitch was sitting with her feet on my damn table, eatin my fuckin cereal. 

“are you gonna- im not supposed to talk to you.” faye said and went back to eatin my cereal. i shook my head and walked out of the room, making my way towards (y/n) and Fezcos room. they told me not to bother them, but ive been telling faye for the past week to stop touchin my shit. 

i approched their door and knocked on it without stopping until i heard fez talk.

“fuck man, come in!” he said and i opened the door up quickly, i turned to face out oof the hall, not wanting to see whatever they was doin.

“your blonde herion whore bimbo bitch is eating my fuckin cereal again.” i said and (y/n) laughed.

“you can look at us, we weren't fucking.” I turned into the room, (y/n) had Fezcos hand on in her, she was painting his nails.

“Can you please control your bitch?!” I yelled,”I don’t Fuckin what her here!”

“You owe Custer this man, you broke his nose!” Fez didn’t yell but his voice was raised, I bit my tongue,”just ignore her man, we can buy more.” I shook my head at him, begire walking out slamming the door behind me.

Your pov-

Ash walked out of the room slamming the door behind him.

“Fuck.” Fez whispered.

“He doesn’t like this at all you know this, why does this sound new to you?” I asked twisting the cap of the dark green nail polish and getting off of the bed,” put your hands under that light, imma go talk to him.”

“You a good one Ma.” Fez said as I opened the door.

“Anything for my boys, but seriously, she using sugar to cope with her shit, she’s eating everything, help her a bit.” I said closing the door behind me and Walked down the hall a bit.

I lightly knocked on the door before opening it, he was sitting on his bed, his back towards the door. It’s the times like these I remember he’s a kid, not an adult.

“Go the Fuck away Fez.” He said and I close the door a bit behind me,”I said go the fuck away ion wanna talk to you.”

“It’s (y/n) actually.” I said and he turned around to face me.

“You gon scold me or some shit? cause you’re not my mom and ion want you actin like one.” I sat down on the edge of his bed.

“She’s only staying till things calm down Ash, another week should be all.” I said ignoring his statement because I know it meant nothing and it was just because he was upset.

“I don care (y/n)! I don’t want her here! You see how she walks around the house? The way she looks at fez?! Why aren’t you taking some control and doing something?!” He turned to face me fully.

“She doesn’t look at fez in any way Ash, she has her boyfriend and she has made that very clear.” I kept my tone calm and clear,” she walks around the house in those clothes like she does because that’s all she knows okay? I can take her shopping tomorrow and ge her some more appropriate clothing if that’s makes you feel better.” He physically calmed down, his shoulders lost their tension and his face relaxed.

“Ya.” He nodded.

“Her and i will go tomorrow around 9, okay? Now…” I got up from his bed,”I have to go run some stuff to a small party, so you need anything while I’m out?”

“Cereal obviously, she ate the whole damn box.”

“I’ll get extra then.” I smiled at him,”I’ll be back in an hour or so, fez is staying.”

“Aight.” I turned around and opened the door,”thanks.”

“Always kiddo.”

“Don’t call me that.” I giggled turning to look at him.

“Whatever you say…kiddo.”

[blueicequeen19]

CONGRATS ON 1000!! 14, 17, and 30 for mean Rafe ?!:)

I’ve already done all 3 of these so I’ll pick 3 more with Dom Rafe (;

“I’m afraid i can no longer remain professional”

“You have no idea how much I want you right now”

“I won’t bite. unless you’re into that sort of thing”

1000 Followers Smut Blurbs

“I won’t bite. unless you’re into that sort of thing.” I joked but the look on his face was anything but amused. The vein in his forehead looked about ready to burst. I opened my mouth to apologize when he suddenly got to his feet, tugging off his suit jacket and walked around the desk to the office door and locked it. The click was deafening. I opened my mouth again but he cut me off with a stern look.

“I’m afraid i can no longer remain professional.” Rafe moves in front of me and leans against his desk, not bothering to hide the steel rod between his legs. My mouth is suddenly dry and my pussy.. soaked. I once again try to find words but he moves abruptly to my side, scaring me to silence. What was he going to do?

“What is a man supposed to do when you come in here dressed like that? Your buttons on your blouse are about to pop, that skirt looks painted on, and those fuck-me-heels? Not to mention that delicious shade of red on your lips that I’d love to see smeared all over my cock.” I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. What did he just say? I swallow.

“Rafe.” He immediately holds up a dismissive hand.

“Stand up.” I obey. He points to his desk.

“Bend over.” I obey again. What’s gotten into me? There’s no way this is part of the interview. I was only trying to appear playful, not this. A large hand slides over my ass and my eyes widen in disbelief.

“You will call me Mr Cameron or Sir. You will buy blouses that fit and aren’t see through. You will wear slacks, not skirts. Although it’ll be a challenge for me, I’ve already witnessed enough men looking at your legs today. The red lips can stay but you might want to keep it on hand for special occasions.” I gasp when Rafe fists the slit in the back of my skirt and rips it all the way to the top.

“Don’t scream. Or do.” A loud smack echos, my ass cheek burning. He just spanked me. Im too stunned to make any noise or stop him apparently because he does it twice more, rubbing away the burn after. I can’t breathe as he slides my thong to the side and groans at what he sees.

“You have a pretty pussy.” Rafe says and I blush all the way down to my toes.

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.” It sounds like a warning and although Im partially frozen in fear, the need for more holds me there tighter.

“You’ll come to realize that bad girls get punished with me. Hence why you got three slaps for your wardrobe. But you’ll also realize, that good girls get rewarded and since you’re such an obedient little thing, I’ll reward you.”

A long finger circles my clit and my knees nearly buckle. I press my face into the pile of papers on his desk as he touches me softly. Finally his finger makes its descent and I feel myself clenching in anticipation.

“Such a greedy little thing. When was the last time you were touched properly?” Rafe asks and I can barely speak.

“Never.” A noice like I’ve never heard before rumbles in his chest as he circles my desperate hole. I hear the clink of a buckle and the purr of a zipper and I know what’s about to happen.

“I have a meeting in 20 minutes so this will have to be quick. You may cum this one time without permission, after this you must always ask. I don’t use condoms and I don’t pull out so I hope you’re on the pill.” He slips the head of his fat cock through my pussy lips and I gasp, attempting to turn to get a good look at this thing but he pushes me back over the desk. There’s no way that thing will fit. Who was this guy? It begins to crown me and I groan as Rafe keeps a firm hand in the center of my back.

“Fuck. Let me in. Open up for me. I know you want it.” Rafe growls and I moan louder as I shift my stance and he continues to fill me. Once he’s half way in he starts to rock back and forth, helping to open me up more before pushing the rest of the way in. I’m so full it hurts. He’d definitely put all the other guys I’d slept with to shame.

I fight to fill my lungs with air.

Did this mean I got the job?

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, sir.”