#i wish them no ill will at all!! genuinely if they ever needed anything i would still help them

[cuddlycryptid]

top 25 most unhinged things my roommate did without realizing they were the problem

When i first met Roommate, they complained constantly about their Housemate at the time. Housemate’s two sins were: 1. they left mountains of dishes in the sink for so long, they grew mold, 2. and they refused to communicate at all. 

Roommate tells Housemate gtfo, and gives the empty room to me 

turns out, Roommate leaves mountains of dishes in the sink for so long, they grow mold

uh oh

Roommate constantly refused to communicate at all 

to the point where Roommate’s Boyfriend took it upon himself to start getting the rest of the friend group together like every week to be like “hey guys, so sorry but Roommates having feelings and doesnt want to reach out to yall… but they DO also expect u to fix it  <3” 

rip to us all when BF moved out 💀 doomed

Roommate’s Boyfriend tell Roommate that he experiences polyamorous attraction. Roommate said no u dont !  not while ur dating me :)

it probably didnt help how much BF and the rest of our friend group joked about essentially being in a polycule. oops

like. there was one time when Roommate’s BF didnt text them for a whole day and Roommate started threatening to kill themself. so. they were perhaps a touch codependent

around this time, Roommate and my Best Friend both helped me realize that my GF ignoring my boundaries was toxic- and i needed to leave so i could figure out my own shit*. They both helped me to gather the courage to end things, and talked me through how i would explain it to her. we all hoped Ex-GF would be understanding and we could all stay friends. Ex-GF didn’t take it well.  Roommate then immediately accepts my Ex’s untrue version of events* without asking me a single question- or letting on that they had heard any concerning details that didn’t line up with the version of events that they were literally present for 

*shit i was sorting: i was deeply MentallyUnwell! and realizing i was aro-ace !! and more!

*ex-GF accusations: that i mustve been secretly cheating on her for months with my (also aroace-spec) Best Friend (?)

the next month i hit like rock bottom mental health, fighting to stay alive shit. i told Roommate “hey i isolate when im struggling like this bc i dont have energy to hang out with people, but i love you sm and ill be back! please be patient and dont take it personally if im not around rn !!” and then they took it super personally 

Roommate decided to start Secretly Testing the friend group. Normal and Healthy

(the game was a cycle: Roommate isolates, we reach out, they cancel plans, we check on them, they say theyre fine, they isolate, etc. u know it)

we didn’t know it was a game. we respected boundaries and thus didn’t ~penetrate their walls~ enough

so, despite all the concern and love we sent to Roommate, Roommate decides the group must all be collectively faking our friendship 

the house is now under Guerilla Warfare

Roommate thought they were rlly good at lying, so they thought Bestie and I wouldn't be able to notice that they were mad 

(they are not good at lying)

no matter how affectionate i was, they never returned any warmth. i would asked them if they were ok, if i could do anything for them, and they said they would let me know

The Vibe™ made me rlly anxious around them, but my therapist reminded me i cant assume ppls Upset is Abt Me, and its the other person’s responsibility to communicate that if it is. so. i decided that i would trust my friend to do that 🤡

whenever i lose something, i make jokes about fairies taking it. we were an ADHD house, so we all lost stuff a LOT. Roommate thought the fairy jokes were proof that i was gaslighting everyone 😈

Roommate started keeping my ESA cat Goose locked in their room for hours when i got home, for days at a time. Then Goose got sick.

Roomate kept an endless bowl of my kibble in their room. Goose’s tummy is sensitive, so i asked them to stop feeding her so i could monitor her diet. they agreed

Bestie and I start to find cheap wet cat food in the trash- and it was a brands that Goose had reacted poorly to before. Roommate denies this

we also established that it’s vv bad to smoke weed in the same room as a cat

Roommate would have Ex-GF over multiple times a week for (indoor) smoke seshes, with Goose locked in the room. 

Roommate also denies this, even tho we could all smell it

Roommate took advantage of the fact that I genuinely wanted Roommate and Ex-Gf to still be friends post-breakup

so multiple times Roommate took my weed supplies and lied to me about where they were going 

Roommate knew i wanted the vibe in the house to be mature and neutral, so they figured that was clearance to start bringing Ex-Gf over constantly…to shit talk the other ppl in the house and hotbox the room with my cat

Roommate’s immediate response to being challenged abt anything, was always to try and intimidate the other people- by getting mad, sometimes by slamming things, uk... shit u get from years of mentorship under a toxic parent 

(tbh it was kinda silly bc Roommate’s like 5’1”)

but also all Roommate’s friends are traumatized ppl! so Roommate can successfully bully anyone who is confrontation-avoidant enough

Roommate would boast about how they were fucked up and unhealthy, while refusing to actually go to therapy or take the meds (that they knew helped)

many such cases (ie all the worst ppl u know)

instead, Roommate held one member of our found Family hostage as a free therapist 

Roommate constantly isolated Fam from the rest of the people who loved her by repeating lies and vitriolically shit-talking the rest of us 

Fam asked Roommate to stop, because it was bc it was emotionally destroying her, and Roommate agreed…then immediately ignored her boundaries and continued to make her life a living hell

(Fam is doing better now, but after the War she started to go to therapy (yay therapy!) and Roommate just. never gave a shit about the way that their behavior affected her, or checked in ooh  it makes me so fckin mad)

Fam begged Roommate to communicate to the rest of the friend group. Eventually, Roommate talked to my Bestie- mostly complaining abt how much Roommate resented me, and then asked Bestie to communicate to ME what Roommate was feeling

Bestie told Roommate that they wouldnt do that bc Roommate needed to talk to me themself 

Roommate later was upset because they said they still expected that message to be passed along anyways

so Roommate was sitting there resenting me, thinking that i knew what they wanted me to do, and i was just ignoring it… when i had literally no idea any of this was going on 🙃

8 months post-breakup, after countless hours of self-healing, and many conversations with Bestie about how Bestie understands their own aroace feelings... i started to understand the v aromantic (!) way that i experience love and devotion! …i also realized that i love my Bestie a lot. after talking about it for a while, Bestie and I decide we could be aroace together in a Queer-Platonic Relationship :D !!!              anyways Roommate accused us of lying to everyone, claiming Bestie and I werent actually in a QPR

bc Roommate knew what all QPRs looked like (bc Roommate and their Boyfriend had tried out a QPR for a few months before they started dating romantically). so.  theyre qualified to be the qpr police obv

STILL without communicating to me, Roommate tells a Mutual Friend that if “things dont get better” in the next two weeks, Roommate would evict me and Bestie, making us homeless

Roommate was already planning on moving out in 3 months. theyd rather pay the last 3 months of rent solo than use their words

(also Roommate was lying to us that we were subleasing from them, when we were actually all renting equally, but that’s another story)

Roommate explains to Mutual Friend that, yeah, they hadnt actually TALKED to me, but only bc Bestie and I REFUSED to allow Roommate to communicate

at 2 points earlier that week i had sent them long, desperate texts, begging Roommate to tell me if something was wrong, and that id do anything to fix it. and every time i saw Roommate i automatically checked in. and i frequently reminded them they could always talk to us. but other than that, not at all 🙂‍↔️

in response to this conversation with Roommate, Mutual Friend decides its time for an Intervention

The Intervention 

Mutual Friend said it’d be a Friend Group therapy session- we’d have mature, calm communication, and if anything got heated/emotional at all, Mutual Friend would intervene and break us up

Roommate asked to go first- and jumped into this unhinged monologue 

Roommate was clearly so angry that Mutual Friend was just too scared to reign them in at all, the whole time

everyone in the group just stared at each other in disbelief as Roommate went OFF for 25 min

the speech was full of my ex-gf’s selfish pop-psych therapy talk, too, which made it hard to take seriously… but it was so clear Roommate and Ex-Gf had together fully rationalized all their behavior 👍

via monologue, Roommate explained how, 6 months ago, we had all failed their Secret Test, so they knew we were all Fake 

i was devastated that they felt that way. i  explained it wasnt a lack of love for them- its just that the same month Roommate was Secretly Tested us, was also my Hell Month

aka the month that my ptsd made me nonfunctional , and i tried to kms, and i spent like all my time catatonic from the onslaught of mental angst. so. i wasnt like hanging out w my friends a lot uk

But i apologized profusely, tearfully, genuinely… that i didn’t have the strength at that time to be more focused on my loved ones’ wellbeing, that i didnt realize what Roommate needed, and that i wasnt there for them

Roommate said they refused to accept my apologies

bc Roommate’s mental health was bad too, and they would’ve liked it if we hung out more :(

At the end of the Conversation, Roommate didn’t notice that they had gotten to go on a 25-minute verbal rampage, and everyone else in this “mutual” communication session was too scared to bring up any of the topics that we had prepared

Roommate was always unbelievably defensive, esp when already riled…so everyone else in the group collectively agreed to stay quiet

and we now realized that literally anything we did, no matter how well-intentioned, could be interpreted as a personal attack

we talked it over after and agreed, that trying to share our issues was pointless. itd just add to Roommate’s resentments and undo all the good we just did by letting Roommate let off some anger on us

we had realized that literally anything we did, no matter how well-intentioned, could be interpreted as a personal attack

THAT conversation was what it took for me to realize oooh, i think Roommate isnt my friend lol

After that, when the dish pile started to smell again, Bestie decides they’re not going to keep doing Roommate’s chores. 

In the past when asked about dishes, Roommate would just deny that they used any of the dishes that were sitting in the sink 

(Roommate had their own dishware and pots- Bestie and I were very careful to ONLY use our (red) pots so we knew which ones were ours. and the dishes in the sink were always gray)

this time, Bestie dared to push back on Roommate’s “theyre not mine”, pointing out the color

Roommate got incredibly defensive and denied ever using any dishes or pots, at all, before storming away

(the dish mountain happened to move out when Roommate did)

Roommate starts prepping to move. stuff that belongs to me or Bestie begins to disappear from the common spaces. the suspect list is short

at one point in the move, Roommate showed me their boxes- and i saw my favorite towels on top of one of the boxes. i went and grabbed my towels later and they did NOT like that lmao

Roommate was irate and very aggressive, terrifying Bestie to the point of a total meltdown (which is very unlike Bestie btw)

Roommate accused me of stealing their stuff. i would never, but Roommate insisted that they knew i took something 

when asked what was missing, Roommate admitted that there wasnt anything that they could think of

as i gave my therapist that weekly update, she decided Roommate’s unstable behavior was getting concerning enough that we miiiiiight want to start making plans to escape if we need to, since we couldn’t keep assuming that Roommate would be able to be reasoned with

therapist offered to take my cat Goose for a bit if we needed to move before we found a place for her

then one day Roomate just. left without saying anything. Lol

they didn’t say anything to any of their other friends either, they just. left the state. ppl were coming up to us for weeks following like “wait did u hear Roommate moved??”

Roommate had previously tried to get us to buy all their broken down furniture for like $3k. i had said i didnt want it, so when they left, Roommate just. lugged it all out to the curb jksdfhkjsd

we just brought the good stuff back inside obv, but it was so funny that they put in that much effort

Roommate left behind a polaroid of on old group pic, with Bestie and I’s faces burned out 👍 truly a hallmark of mental stability

the craziest thing is, i genuinely think Roommate always felt justified just doing just the most overtly hurtful behaviors, near constantly...yall should see the list that didnt make it to the internet lmao

so the moral of the story is... idek. if u think communicating is impossible for you, try practicing more. go to therapy. something

[mysticruinedme]

oogghhhhhhhh i need to writeee i feel like i’m writhing in agony since i’m not working on anything. i’m also bored out of my mind. i also feel like a husk of myself without a project to obsess over. what has my world come to

[queer-pagan-witch]

One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

[itsalwaysdark]

i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh

[punkpandapatrixk]

🌈Would You Marry Me, Honey? ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Ideally, we’d hope for our Future Spouse to be the only person we would ever be married to🎎Having said that, this reading isn’t catering to a Future Spouse aenergy; this reading is entertaining the idea of a dharmic Soulmate who’s destined for our Highest Intended Good.

Our Destined Person—he or she whose soul essence lights up the whole world after we’ve learnt to light up our own world with Love towards ourselves🥰

To those of you reading this who had been married before or are currently bound to a weird loveless contract, please know this reading is still for you in whatever way it resonates for you🌷We all deserve to be happier and happier still at whatever stage of Life we’re in. It isn’t greed we’re talking about; it’s knowing everybody deserves to find Love in the end💝

And aaa~ happy holidays, Witches~!🎄

SONG: I’m Glad There Is You by Julie London

MOVIE: How To Marry A Millionaire (1953)

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Pile 1 – Making A Soft Bed of Flowers with You

VIBE: Schatze Page & Tom Brookman

why I was attracted to you – 9 of Pentacles

Umm…you’re kinda giving off this coldass bitch boss aura that sends news to the entire town that you ain’t needing nobody in your Life. You’re so ULTRA independent it actually scares the living shit out of normal people XD You’re too powerful; too resourceful in your aloneness; too successful in your solitude; damn, are you sure you haven’t got an army of jealous bitches wishing ill upon you?? There are IT girls whom all girls want to be and guys want to be with, but you’re a whole different game, hon.

Girls know they can’t be you however much they pay! Guys know they can’t ever bend you however much they hate that you won’t pick them! Your aenergy is weird…you’re too happy…too authentic. The wrong people can only shake their heads in disbelief, gossiping that there must be something shady you’ve done in Life for you to be this real, this successful without being an ass-licker.

At the top of your game, you make the news go round and round you’re making them money from talking non-stop about you. That’s when your Destined Person hear about you and fell in love with your character. You’re swag, or something. You’re savage and honest. They fucking LOVE that you’re an unbreakable bitch boss. You can be a bitch boss to the world, but to your Destined Person, you’re a Goddess of Realness! And that’s rare AF. You’re a true gem. Finally, an equal to them!

how I fell in love with you – King of Cups

Well, in spite of how you appear to the world, your Destined Person was able to see beyond the façade. You act tough and all that but you have a kind and generous soul. People can’t be strong all alone for so long. If anything, the way you appear strong and unshakable incites your Destined Person’s protective nature LOL Your Destined Person has a big heart and wants to nurture. I think their love language might be gifts and attention just because they really like to give. They will give you all their money and attention LMAO

The main reason they fell in love with you is that you’ve inspired them to get even more in touch with their sensitive side. When your Destined Person sees or talks to you, their minds are opened to new ways to express their emotions. It is because you’re eloquent and you have a great library of words to impart your thoughts and feelings. Your Destined Person thinks you’re inhumanly intelligent and so new wave! Whatever that means XD

They also see that you, too, have a big heart. That you’re more understanding than anybody they’ve ever met. Below the iceberg castle you’ve built to protect yourself, you have an entire flower kingdom of kindness and care. It is your generous nature, your heart your Destined Person truly fell in love with. You’re gutsy and talented; you’re honest and courageous; but most of all, you are a genuine Lover with a divine heart and your Destined Person wants that for themselves…

Umm…with this King aenergy…I think your Destined Person is a possessive and territorial style? ^_^;

when I knew you were The One – Ace of Pentacles

Buhahahah… I think your Destined Person knew you were The One from the very beginning. From the moment they were intrigued by you, they already knew you were made for them! Not saying they never had moments they doubted themselves, especially when it comes to whether or not they are deserving of someone mega awesome as you, but they were head over heels from the get go. They couldn’t deny this attraction and they thought, whether or not they’re the marrying type, if they ever want to spend the rest of their days with someone that would have to be YOU~

When they met you…or got to know you (before meeting)…your Destined Person had been wanting to have a new beginning of sort. I think their Life was already secure and they’d achieved quite a great deal in Life. But that security felt fleeting. They wanted to offer all this greatness to someone. Your Destined Person is undoubtedly a lover LOL They want to be in a loving relationship. They want to share their Life, their riches, their comfort with someone. Obviously, it’s YOU~

With this Pile, rather than the idea of your Destined Person needing time to decide on you…it’s more like they actually had to stop themselves from creeping you out by not proposing to you on your first date! LMAO This is a Ted Mosby saying ‘I LOVE YOU’ on his first date with Robin kinda vibe. Something along those lines. Just pretend you didn’t know they already wanted to marry you from the beginning, hon XD Your whole courtship might feel awkward but cute because your Destined Person struggles a lil with behaving like they’re not crazy about you LMAO

I LOVE YOU🔻💙

in sorrow and in sickness – Gold Historian (Raphael Holinshed)

I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Patience

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Pile 2 – I Could Tell You Were So Much More Than Your Silence

VIBE: Pola Debevoise & Freddie Denmark

why I was attracted to you – 3 of Pentacles Rx

When your Destined Person first saw you, they noticed that you were distant, rather aloof. Not sure if it was shyness or something else. Depending on your Destined Person’s base psychology or the environment they were brought up in, your Destined Person either thought you were a bitch, unfriendly, or they simply wondered by you were THAT shy, THAT quiet. I think it’s possible the day you met them you simply weren’t in a jolly mood, so you were rather uncommunicative.

Be THAT as it may, your Destined Person ain’t a bitch and if anything they were attracted to your coolness. There is something in your aura, your vibe, your body language, that tells them…you were so much more than your unfriendliness. Perhaps it’s in your gentle gesture, perhaps it’s in the way you gaze at someone else, but your Destined Person could tell, you’re a sensitive person who’s careful with who you get friendly with.

Your Destined Person saw…felt, rather…that you must be a compassionate, empathetic person who would make them feel safe. They could tell that you were society’s outcast of sort, that you were not generic, and that because of this you weren’t the type to quickly judge somebody without knowing their story first. Your Destined Person admires that about you. They think you have high morality and that although you aren’t always smiley or anything, for the most part, you’re really a polite person who’s such a delight to talk to once you feel comfortable with someone.

how I fell in love with you – 8 of Pentacles

Your Destined Person could tell that you’re somebody who’s battled your own inner demons. You’ve worked hard on yourself to be the superior version of yourself. And because you’re naturally kind and very keen on human psychology, your Destined Person saw that you’re the type that can easily understand other people’s crazy. That’s why you’re kind, quiet, and for the most part, patient with other people. You’re cool because you understand the world—you’re based. But you’re also aloof because you understand that most Humans are a waste of time LMAO

Your Destined Person thinks you’re the coolest person who’s ever walked on Earth! This is kinda telling me either your Destined Person is a few years younger than you or they could’ve come from a rather easy background so the maturity of their psychology is behind you XD Do you have significant Scorpio placements? Anyway, your Destined Person is charmed by your maturity, deep knowledge about uncommon things, and that once they get you talking, like whoa, your knowledge and perspectives are SO interesting. They could hear you talk for weeks on end.

Obviously, your Destined Person feels inspired by you. They also feel you’re the safest person they could talk to. If anything, you help them overcome their own demons or pains from the past. When they talk with you, they understand themselves better and they love that your perspectives on people and things are genuinely rooted in your desire to comfort and heal. They think you’re deeply spiritual but based, realistic and pragmatic, and before they could put words to it, they’ve already fallen in love with your character🥰

when I knew you were The One – Knight of Cups

I do see that it takes a bit, juuust a biiit, of time for your Destined Person to know you were The One for them, forever. Personally, they themselves are quite wary of people so just because they were curious and subsequently friendly towards you, didn’t mean they wanted to marry you immediately. Which, all things considered, is very sweet because when you met your Destined Person, when you noticed they were trying to get to know you, they were genuine! They weren’t just trying to get into your pants or wanting other superficial things from you.

Your Destined Person, I feel, is a very charming and handsome person. They’re likely popular, too. I think they know a lot of people, have a large family or perhaps have multiple large circles of people they know, so in that sense, they’re not the type of person who’s needing people just to fill in some kind of emptiness inside. They’re very genuine with you and in trying to get to know you, if anything, they’re the one who wants to offer you something precious: their attention and affection. There’s something poignant about you that makes them feel ultra-protective and they genuinely love that feeling of becoming a true romantic in your presence.

I LOVE YOU🔻🧡

in sorrow and in sickness – Green Magus (John Dee)

I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Inspiration

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Pile 3 – Oh, Dreamy Beauty, You Elevate My Dreams

VIBE: Loco Dempsey & Eben

why I was attracted to you – Page of Wands

‘Okay, I’m not trying to be creepy or anything but damn you’re SEXY.’ Your Destined Person was first and foremost attracted to your beauty—your sex appeal, to be precise. They find you incredibly sexy…but why the goddamn hell are you cute?? Is that allowed? Little did they know that this appeal is actually your authentic soul. You’re actually a lot more honest than you give yourself credit for. You live Life quite honestly and you’re just being yourself. You don’t really give a damn if people find your essence offensive. ‘I’m not everybody’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly acceptable to me—so what are you gonna do about it?’

Though you’re strong like that on one hand, on the other you’re also quite stupid because you trust people too easily! At least your Destined Person sees you this way. They think, because you’re always honest you could fall into the trap of believing everybody is just as honest, as straightforward as you, which, most people aren’t! Plenty of people are sneaky and dangerous! And your Destined Person noticed this and felt a pull towards protecting you… *why don’t we have a melting heart emoji?*

Your Destined Person felt a pull to be there for you, protecting your Light, your innocence, your joy and happiness. I feel your Destined Person is actually quite a thinker, but when they were drawn to you, as if falling into a trance they couldn’t follow logic anymore. They were drawn in by your passion and delightful personality and before they knew it, they felt like they’d been swallowed whole by your flame🔥

how I fell in love with you – Queen of Pentacles

You’re a wholesome character and that much was apparent to your Destined Person right after they’ve got to know you a bit better. How quickly your Destined Person fell in love with you varies with this Pile, but some digging, some getting to know each other, and some learning is definitely required with this connection. Essentially, the moment your Destined Person learns that you’re so much more than how you look, they couldn’t help but develop genuine feelings for you. It’s a Soul-based kind of Love that transcends human ego.

I feel like your Destined Person could even shed a tear from realising just how much they care about your wellbeing. It’s pure like that and I promise you they’re not so used to feeling that typa feeling for just about anybody! As much as they see you as this very unique, very strong character in your own right, they want to be there to protect your heart. If your Destined Person is a masculine person, they will also want to protect your body and provide for you. They want to make things easier for you! They’re willing to make sacrifices to give the whole world for you, simply because you’re worth it.

Your Destined Person loves how you’re essentially the main character of your own world and…they want to be part of that world? XD They don’t mind being a side character in your world whom you fall for. I think this person could be younger than you or they’re simply not that mature yet emotionally or spiritually! What they love most about you is how you’re literally the most unique, resourceful, strategizing character who knows how to build your own world from scratch! You’re literally the most wholesome character they’d ever known throughout their Life. And they want a part in that world you’ve built with so much love and care. Now, they want to care for you…

when I knew you were The One – 10 of Wands Rx

Let it be known that your Destined Person is quite an intense bitch LMAO When they love, they love with all of their being and their devotion is no joke. This ain’t a playa over here. Or at least…when it comes to YOU, they ain’t got no game. Trust me. You must’ve done or said something that completely changed your Destined Person’s entire view on love and relationships. I betcha you’re the type of intense bitch who’d never settle for anything less than real Love. And that literally brushed off on your Destined Person. In the beginning, they went to war with themselves over this notion of real Love with a capital L.

They never really knew what Love was all about or if they were even deserving of Love. Just like everybody else, they had a very silly take on romance—this is especially the case if your Destined Person is a masculine being. Because of you, now they understand that money ain’t it; sex appeal ain’t it; status ain’t it. Aesthetics comes after real Love. You taught them that. And they’re grateful and they realise you’re the only person they want to love. It’s kinda possessive like that…I think your Destined Person could have some Taurus or Scorpio placements??

Anyway, in some way, your Destined Person could’ve been so embarrassed about their own childishness and felt super lacking as a person. Like, they don’t really know what to offer a divine being such as you…but they vowed to better themselves and grow up as quickly as possible so they could become worthy of your Love LMAO Gosh! It was around this time they realised they wanted to grow up as a person that they knew you were the ONLY one for them! Umm…like they just knew they could and would never be able to feel this way for any other person that’s not you. It had to be you~

I LOVE YOU🔻💛

in sorrow and in sickness – Silver Magus (Merlin)

I vow to be there for you – Priestess of Innocence

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[lakesbian]

i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it

so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough

worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!

one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.

the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.

i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.

the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.

and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.

*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign

as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:

there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!

worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.

worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel

overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)

oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Are You Flirting?

modern!au

Summary: Who's the cute guy she was talking about last night?

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 4863

Warnings: flirty lucien, shy reader but shes like 'yknow what fuck shyness lets flirt back' lmaoo

A/n: yall i need you to know. the reader is based on me. shes literally me. i crochet too if yal didnt know hehe. this was so fun to write like it felt like wring my own story except this shit never happened irl lol.

idk ill stop rambling now 😂

ANYWAYS, ENJOYYY 🥹

p.s: id say the credit for this idea goes to my bestie boo @berryzxx because she put me on the song that i used as inspo for tis fic and also bullying me into writing for that song. ily lots pooks 🤭

(based on an indian song 👀)

��•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

The moment Y/n got the text from her college best friend Feyre, Y/n knew having picked up crocheting as a hobby was the best thing she could ever have done.

Exaggerating aside, she was excited when Feyre asked her if she wanted to reconnect after two years of not talking, and Y/n said yes without hesitation.

They hadn’t talked much, only ever interacting with each other’s instagram posts and stories. Feyre was too busy most of the time painting and opening her own gallery to display her art, taking commissions sometimes and travelling with her fiance.

And even though Y/n had wanted to stay in touch, being an upcoming writer, she did not get too much time to talk as she was busy writing all the time, and when she wasn’t, she was lying in bed wondering why she was in a slump.

Hence, she had picked up crocheting as a new hobby and made some pretty cute tops, imagining herself wearing them to a beach or somewhere pretty. She had been thinking of going somewhere as a vacation to clear her mind.

Which was why when Feyre suggested flying to some beach island her fiance owned for a little getaway with friends, Y/n could not contain her excitement.

Now as she stood in the middle of her bedroom, trying to pick between the two outfits in her hand, wondering which one to wear, she wished she had a boyfriend. Or a husband. Or something. She had always been an indecisive person, and at moments such as this, she wished someone could help her pick her outfits.

Feyre was probably on her way and here Y/n stood, wondering which one to wear and which one to put in her bag to wear the next day.

Ughh fuck me.

Finally, she settled on a pastel pink cardigan and a white halter top with a white bell bottom jeans. She wanted to make a good impression on Feyre’s new friends and decided that the safer option was better. She could wear the other one after she got more comfortable with them.

She had never even met Feyre’s fiance. The two had met and gotten engaged after Y/n and Feyre drifted apart, but Y/n had congratulated her friend on her insta post, so surely that counted as something?

Now that reminder had her reconsidering. Was going vacationing with people she did not know really the best idea?

I mean, what if one of them is a serial killer? What if one of them is suicidal and kills us all-

Maybe she should just cancel.

She was eyeing her phone, genuinely wondering if she should go, when the screen lit up and Feyre’s name flashed across the screen, the soft lilting sound of Y/n’s ringtone filling the air.

So it was decided. Y/n was going.

Y/n answered the call while simultaneously shouldering her bag. "Hello?"

Feyre’s excited voice screeched in her ear from the other end. "Y/n! I’m under your apartment now. Are you ready?"

Instantly, her mood became better and Y/n wondered why she ever considered refusing to go in the first place. Even if she was a stranger to Feyre’s friends, she still had Feyre. She was sure it wouldn’t be as awkward as she was expecting it to be.

Straightening, she glanced around her room for a final time before nodding to herself, confirming that she was not forgetting anything. "Yes, babe. As ready as I’ll ever be. I’m coming down."

Feyre squealed, and Y/n could hear chuckles from the background at her friend’s antics. "I can't wait!"

With that, Y/n ended the call and walked out of her apartment, closing the door behind her, focusing on the jingle of her keychain and not on the nervousness running through her veins.

Soon, as she walked out of the elevator on the ground floor, she spied two dark cars waiting outside. It made her hurry. The moment she exited, she spied her friend leaving the car, grinning.

Feyre ran the short distance to Y/n, throwing all her body weight onto her friend, making Y/n giggle.

"Calm down Fey! I’m not going anywhere."

Feyre pulled away with a wide grin, shaking her head, then grabbed Y/n’s hand and dragged her back to the car she had exited.

"We're a total of ten people, five in that car-" she pointed to the one standing behind the one she had exited- "and five of us in this one." Y/n nodded, trying to calm her nerves.

Feyre then got in, leaving Y/n to get in the back. Feyre’s fiance was sitting in the driver’s seat, black aviation glasses perched on his nose. He offered Y/n a warm smile and a wave before Feyre piped up.

"Y/n, this is my fiance Rhysand. That is Azriel, Rhys’s foster brother and his girlfriend, Gwyneth."

Y/n dipped her head in a polite nod to the couple sharing the back seat with her, but Gwyneth had no qualms about hugging Y/n. Y/n was surprised to say the least by the sudden affectionate action, but she returned it nonetheless with a wide grin.

"Nice to meet you all."

"Everyone, this is my best friend from university, as well as my then roommate, Y/n."

Azriel gave her a tiny smile, his loving gaze returning to his girlfriend not a moment later.

It made Y/n want to go aww, because if that was not pure love right there, then Y/n did not know what was. It made her long to have someone of her own.

Rhys started the car, and the first ten minutes passed in comfortable silence. And then Feyre spoke.

"So, Y/n. Please tell me you’re seeing someone."

Y/n sighed. "You would’ve been the first person to know had I been."

Feyre twisted to glare at Y/n.

"What?"

"Why are you still single?"

"Haven’t found the one yet."

Feyre contemplated for a moment, then grinned. "You know, I’ve got a friend-"

"Not again Feyre!" Y/n turned to Gwyneth. "You know, she would send me on dates with these random dudes every day-"

"Not every day!"

Y/n glared at her friend in jest. "Only because I bullied you to leave me alone."

Feyre sighed dramatically, then plopped back into her seat. "You’re mean."

Gwyn snickered. "Why did you not end up with any of them then?"

Y/n shook her head solemnly. "They were all either too arrogant or ugly."

That made everyone laugh, and finally, Azriel spoke up. "And how did you find so many guys, Feyre?"

Y/n perked up. "I want to know too! I always wondered if she went to asylums to get me a worse specimen than the last."

"Oh my god Y/n, they were just guys from our university and the neighbouring ones."

Y/n smiled. It was fun being around her friend again. It felt like the never stopped talking, picking up from where they left off.

"You know, we’ve got three single people in the other car."

Y/n dropped her head in her palm, and Gwyn cackled.

"Come on Y/n, they’re not that bad. One of them is a guy, but the other two are women. You can experiment if that’s what you want. Maybe that’s the reason you never connected with any guys I set you up with."

Y/n made a crying face and leaned her head against Gwyn, who continued to vibrate with silent laughter. "God help me."

Eventually, Feyre dropped the topic, ending up talking about random nonsense after that. Azriel also chimed in sometimes, but mostly it was either Feyre and Rhysand talking and Gwyn and Y/n laughing and giving unwanted commentary.

They had to take two helicopters to the island, which had Y/n wondering just how big of a jackpot Feyre had gotten engaged to. The ride to the beach home from the helipad after was again two cars.

While boarding the helicopter, Y/n had spied the other friends of Feyre and Rhysand getting out of their car, but she had averted her gaze when the redheaded man had turned to look, hoping she didn’t seem like a creep while she had been trying to take a look at their faces.

The ride to the beach house, as they called it, was silent because Y/n, Gwyn and Feyre dozed off for most of it, already tired after so much travelling. And before they knew it, the midday sun shone through the windows of the car as it finally stopped in the gated compound of a mansion that looked straight out of architectural digest.

Y/n could not stop gaping at it as she got out of the car, then turned to hold the door open for Gwyn.

"It’s so big and beautiful." Gwyn commented, her eyes too fixed on the two story structure. Y/n shot her a knowing look.

"I know right? Only seen stuff like this in the movies."

The two shared a giggle before Azriel joined them on their side and the trio followed Rhysand and Feyre to the main doors.

Rhysand had just climbed the top step when the doors opened, two ladies with long black hair cascading down their backs standing behind them, and Y/n decided that they were twins.

"Nuala, Cerridwen." Rhysand nodded at them with a smile, then turned to the people standing behind him when the twins left.

"I think it’s best if we freshen up and rest for some time before dinner."

The tall guy who had been driving the other car sighed dramatically, burying his head in Nesta’s shoulder. "Thank god, I am tired."

Nesta rolled her eyes, then smiled at Y/n. Being Feyre’s roommate, Y/n had met Nesta on multiple occasions and admired the woman a lot. Nesta, too, had always looked after Y/n like a sister when the three would go out to dinner.

"Y/n. How are you?"

Y/n dipped her head, then stepped forward and pulled Nesta into a hug. "I’m good. Your fiance?"

Nesta nodded, glancing at the hulk of a man. "This is Cassian. Cass, this is-"

"Y/n, heard a lot ‘bout ya." He grinned, extending his hand for a shake.

Y/n smiled at him, then turned back to Nesta and Feyre as the latter began speaking. "Y/n, this is Elain, my other sister. Mor, Rhysand’s cousin, and Lucien, my friend."

After everyone had been introduced, all of them retreated to their rooms. It seemed like they had these outings a lot, because the way everyone was so familiar with the layout of the house would have been uncanny had this been their first time here.

Except for Lucien. He seemed a little hesitant, lingering back with Y/n as everyone else left. But then Feyre directed the two to the upper floor, where two guest rooms were waiting for them.

The rooms were next to each other, so Y/n and Lucien were together till the very last moment. It gave Y/n a lot of time to admire the man’s attractiveness through stolen glances, and she wished it did not for she was not able to control the movement of her jaw that kept unhinging every chance it got at the sheer beauty of him.

Gosh, if he is the guy Feyre wants to set me up with, I am truly going to be blessed.

As the two finally reached the top step, Lucien glanced at Y/n.

"First time here?"

"Yup. In fact, I’m seeing Fey for the first time since we finished uni."

His brows rose. "Damn. How long has it been?"

She shrugged noncommittally. "Around two years. What about you? Your first time too?"

He nodded, then paused at the first door to meet her eyes when he answered. "I’ve recently started getting along with her family." he thought for a moment, then leaned closer, as if letting her in on a secret. "I was actually the friend of her previous boyfriend, but none of them liked him and so they didn’t trust me much either. But now they’re moving on and so am I."

Y/n did not know how to respond to that, trying to wrap her mind around how anyone could be mad at someone who seemed as nice as Lucien. But he spared her the struggle.

"That’s a nice cardigan. Where’d you get it from?" His eyes travelled down her body, his gaze appreciative as it landed on the pastel crocheted garment. "Maybe I could get a similar one. We can match."

Y/n blinked at him, then ducked her head, futilely trying to hide her blush.

"Um, I made it myself."

He remained silent for a moment, prompting her to meet his gaze once again.

"You’re kidding."

She blinked again. "Why would I?"

He huffed out a laugh, leaning back against the doorframe. "So, you’re telling me you’re pretty and talented?"

Y/n could not move if she wanted to. She could not think. She could not do anything but stare at him.

This man, one who looked like he belonged on the cover of vogue, was telling her she was pretty?

God help me.

She looked around, flustered by the tiny smile blooming on his face, cocky but also knowing. He knew the effect he had on her and the damned man was enjoying it too much.

"Well, I will let you rest now. After all, you need to get some energy back for later tonight."

If those words had come from anyone else, Y/n would have wondered if they were saying she looked tired and like shit, but coming from him, the words were nothing but caring, if a touch flirtatious.

Wait, was that an innuendo?

She did not have time to dwell on that part much before he stepped aside, swiping his arm toward the door behind him. "Take a look at both rooms, then pick one you want. I will wait."

Y/n dipped her head, trying not to blush even more when he opened the door for her and leaned back, letting her pass.

She was much too flustered to even look around the room, let alone see if she liked it or wanted the other room, so she just mumbled to him that she will stay in this one, that he could take the other room.

Y/n knew he was about to ask her if she was sure, but whatever he saw in her face had him nodding, stepping back out of the room, tugging the door close with him as he went.

"See you soon, sweetheart." His parting words were heavy with the same knowing lilt he had a few minutes back when he had been flirting with her. It made Y/n’s cheeks heat up, and she turned to the bed, plopping down and burying her face in the plush pillows.

He was flirting with me.

Maybe… Feyre was right about him. Maybe I should give him a chance.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

After a light lunch and a few hours of rest, everyone had simultaneously gathered in the living room as if summoned by a silent command. Y/n had tried to sleep, and had accomplished the feat, but at the cost of tossing and turning every five minutes for an hour, her mind refusing to let her wind down and repeatedly playing the memories of Lucien flirting.

At least, she thought he was flirting. Y/n hoped she was not making a fool of herself for thinking that he was flirting while he simply was being kind.

She had gotten all of two hours of sleep before she shoved the covers off of her and decided to take a shower to freshen up, then she had proceeded to don a flowy sundress and walked downstairs. The hallways were empty, the only sign that she was not alone being the twins in the kitchen. They offered Y/n a smile before introducing themselves, then asked her if she needed anything.

Y/n had thought about it, then shook her head, telling them she just wanted to get some water. They graciously handed her a glass of it, despite her protests, and then they left her to her own devices.

She had just been sipping on it while staring at the sun setting when footsteps behind her let her know she was no longer alone, and she turned to look at Morrigan and Elain, who had walked down together. They offered her a smile, then sat along with her at the counter in swivelling chairs, the quiet comfortable and peaceful.

That was, before Cassian decided to grace them with his presence.

"Are Feyre and Rhys still not here?"

Y/n blinked, tearing her eyes away from the now violet horizon, barely any sliver of light visible, and gave him a smile. "Not yet."

He gagged. "They’re probably doing nasty stuff."

Nesta walked in with Gwyn and Azriel behind her, her eyebrows high.

"Like you don’t fuck."

He glared at Nesta. "Can you be a little more crass? I am trying to make new friends here."

Y/n hid her smile behind her cup, but considering it was a clear glass, she did not think it would work very well.

"So Y/n, what do you do during free time?"

Y/n set her now empty cup aside, turning all her attention to Cassian, who was done bickering with his fiance.

"I do crocheting while listening to podcasts, or I read when I just want to wind down. I also write."

He nodded appreciatively. "So you’re a creative person, huh."

"And she has a very pretty smile too."

Y/n felt her cheeks heating up already when she heard Lucien’s voice, but when she finally comprehended what he had said, she wondered if she’d just melt off.

God. Please, help me.

She tried not to meet his eyes, because even knowing him for barely a few hours, she knew he’d give her a knowing smirk, his eyes bright.

Cassian chuckled, and Y/n could feel everyone’s eyes on her.

Fuck.

Thankfully, Feyre and Rhysand finally arrived and took the attention away from her, and she felt like she could finally breathe again.

The couple asked what everyone wanted for dinner, bickering around for a few moments while Lucien, Elain, Azriel and Y/n watched.

Before long, Mor announced she was craving some barbecue, and when no one argued further, Rhys told everyone to gather on the back porch that faced the beach while he got the things out. When Y/n offered to help along with Feyre and Gwyn, Rhysand just told them to sit back and relax.

And then he dragged the other men with him.

Guess they won’t be getting any relaxing time.

The night passed almost too quickly to be natural, and Y/n already felt like she’d known these people for her whole life. Nesta and Gwyn refused to let anyone else talk to her because they were too busy asking her of all the books she’d read and inquiring whether she was planning on publishing.

Y/n could see Feyre pouting in the corner, but eventually Mor engaged her in a conversation, so Y/n’s guilt at not being able to give her friend enough time subsided.

When Nesta and Gwyn finally got distracted, Y/n leaned back, taking in the cool air when her neck prickled. Looking around, she met the gaze of Lucien from over the glowing barbeque, her cheeks flushing even when he hadn’t said or done anything. But he continued to look at her, the slightest tilt to those inviting lips.

Smug bastard.

When everything was cooked, Rhys called everyone to the outdoor dining table, the wood rich but warm, homey.

Y/n found two seats next to Gwyn, who beckoned her over. She smiled and had just settled down next to her new friend when she realised someone was sitting down next to her on the empty seat.

And it was not Feyre.

Mismatched eyes found her surprised gaze, and Lucien grinned at her.

"Lucien! That was my seat!"

He held eye contact with Y/n for a long moment before turning to a fuming Feyre. "Well, you can sit on my lap, darlin’. But I am already too comfortable in this seat to move."

Feyre huffed, the perfect picture of annoyance. But Y/n could see the glint in her eyes that told her that Feyre was having way too much fun right now watching Y/n blush.

When Feyre turned away to pout at her grinning fiance, Lucien leaned close to Y/n. "Or maybe, you can sit on my lap and I can give this seat to Feyre?"

Y/n turned away, trying to hide the warm flush on her skin at that. "I think Feyre will find herself another seat."

He chuckled quietly but let the topic go after that.

In the end, Feyre sat at the seat on the right of the head seat of the table, next to Lucien. Rhysand sat at the head, opposite Azriel, who occupied the seat on the other side of Gwyn, refusing to leave her side.

Everyone started to serve themselves, but just as Y/n was contemplating what to get, Lucien leaned past her, his scent enveloping her along with his warmth, and grabbed some grilled chicken.

"Try this, it’s good." With that, he put a few pieces on her plate, then continued to serve himself. He seemed so nonchalant, so careless as if he hadn’t just set Y/n’s heart on fire.

Like he wasn’t the reason she could not think straight.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n did not know how the days passed so quickly. Agreed, it was a four day getaway, and yet it felt like barely any time passed and it was already the day they had to return home.

If she had to be honest, she did not want to leave the bed. Her limbs felt like they were tied down, heavy metal placed on top to stop her from moving. She felt so tired, as if her body was trying to stay here just a little longer, and maybe being tired would get her to stay.

Which was the reason why she forced herself to push off the covers and set her legs on the cold, wood floor and traipsed sleepily towards the window to check if she had missed the sunrise again. She had been wanting to watch it since they all arrived, but every day for the past three days, she had slept away without a care.

She’d had to set an additional alarm to wake up earlier.

The sky outside was dark, almost blue. But she knew dawn wasn’t far off.

She hurried to freshen up, then walked down the stairs to get herself a glass of water.

After she had acquired her drink, she stepped out and settled down on the two seater swing on the back porch, under her own room’s balcony. The air was chilly, but not enough to have her want to get up and bring a shawl or something to keep herself warm.

She also felt really lazy as she began sipping on her water slowly.

Gosh, I love water.

She refrained from drinking anything that was not water or milk.

She was also lactose intolerant, but, who really cares about that.

Y/n had just leaned back, wrapping both her hands around her cup when she heard movement behind her. But she let herself relax, knowing it probably was Lucien.

That was one of the many things she’d learned about him in the past days.

He always woke up at dawn. He apparently then did some light gym when he could before breakfast, to keep himself in that drool worthy body.

His words, not mine.

Okay… Maybe mine.

And maybe, just maybe, Y/n had wanted to witness her first ever sunrise, had wanted to wake up earlier even though she disliked being up early just so she could spend some extra time with him.

Maybe.

It didn’t take him long to settle down beside her, his own cup of steaming beverage in hand. It looked like green tea to Y/n, who’d had experience with making it for her father nearly every day.

"Good morning." His voice was rough, the sleep evident in it.

Don’t blush, don't blush. He’s just said good morning.

She blushed. Just a little. "Morning."

"Sleep well?"

Y/n nodded, watching him from her peripherals as the swing dipped slightly with his added weight.

"Still sleepy though. First time I woke up by myself to watch the sunrise." She paused for a moment, glancing at him. His lips were curled to one side as he stared out over the beach, his gaze fixated to the horizon. She shrugged. "Usually it’s by my family dragging me and bullying me into waking up early."

He huffed out a chuckle, but after that let silence settle between them.

The air was so peaceful, it brought a sense of calm over Y/n.

Maybe she could get used to this.

The two sat and watched as the sun rose, so slowly but also too fast. Y/n wished to enjoy this time forever, wanted to continue taking in the soft orange and pink hues that painted the sky as the glowing ball of fire rose higher in the sky. Wanted to bask in the presence that nestled into the pillows next to her, wanted to ink the sound of his soft breathing permanently into her existence.

It was over too soon, and even though Y/n savoured every second of it, she could not help but feel a sense of longing the moment Lucien straightened. She did not want to let go of this moment just yet.

He seemed to think so too.

Just when she thought he’d get up and walk back inside, he turned his head to stare at her.

"So, who’s the cute guy you were talking about last night with Fey?"

Y/n’s lips quirked up, a sudden burst of boldness spurring her on. But she paused as she thought back to Feyre’s words the previous night.

"Do you like him?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Oh please, I see the way you blush when he’s near. I see the way he follows you around like a lost puppy. I am not naive, sweet pea."

Y/n sighed. "I guess he’s cute."

Feyre squealed. "You need to go on a date with him."

If Y/n gave him the truthful answer, would she be making a fool of herself? Would she be doing herself the biggest favour ever? Did he even like her that way?

Finally, she decided that if she never tried, she might regret it later.

Feeling her gaze on him, she turned, knowing he waited for her answer. He sported a cheeky grin, eyes half lidded, as if he was more relaxed than he’d ever been.

She leaned in conspiratorially.

"You."

His grin faded, and he sat up straighter.

"What?"

"You’re the cute guy we were talking about."

He blinked, and Y/n did her best to hide her smug smile at the way his ears darkened with colour.

"Are you joking or flirting?" he mumbled, brows furrowed.

Oh, so he can flirt, but can’t take the flirting?

She told herself to remember that tidbit for later.

Y/n could not help it then. She let loose the smirk that broke out of her, and leaned closer still, so close that she could feel his breath on her face, so close that she knew that if she were to inhale, his lingering cologne from the previous day would take over every one of her senses.

Maintaining eye contact, she whispered.

"Flirting."

He did not move anything except for his eyes as she stood, his gaze following her like a physical caress. Just before she turned the corner out of his eyesight, she glanced back at him.

And winked.

She watched as a disbelieving grin formed on his lips, and then decided that was enough flirting for a year at least and ascended the stairs back to her room.

Feyre will lose her mind.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, she no longer felt that burst of confidence that came out of nowhere. Suddenly, she was a blushing mess as she shoved her face into the pillows and tried to calm her racing heart.

Her phone pinged then.

Feyre: ‘Lucien just texted me asking for your number. Is it okay if I give it?’

Y/n bit her lip to keep away the flustered smile. Just as she told Feyre to give it to him, she texted back.

Feyre: ‘Is there something I need to know? Why are you up so early anyway?’

Y/n decided that was enough. Feyre could wait.

Who’s the cute guy?

You.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut

@daycourtofficial @sweetorangeblossom @secret-third-thing

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686

@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1

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Lucien Vanserra Taglist: @mirandasidefics @fell-in-luvs @tele86

[yeloenk]

i want to apologize more formally for answering the anon who gave me a false list of proshippers.

ever since making a post asking proshippers to please block me (i had some who were following me), people have been anonymously sending me some lists of proshippers/controversial people in the UTMV fandom.

i have answered a few, but only those that were calling out proshippers that have actually confirmed to be proshippers.

when i received this ask in particular, i just saw someone giving me a list with no ill-intent behind it. so, without giving much thought, i replied to the ask.

my intention with this was to let others know who to block/avoid; not to harass, witch-hunt, etc. i am aware that these kinds of lists can encourage this behavior, which i take responsibility for. i genuinely apologize for using my platform in this way—even if it was done unintentionally, it was still wrong of me to do.

this being said, i do NOT stand for harassment in any way, shape, or form. even if it is directed towards proshippers, that is no way to solve the real issue. proshippers need help, they do not need more reason to need help. purposefully going out of your way to stalk, bully, send threats, or ANYTHING of that nature is wrong.

i made my first apology in a panicked rush, once i saw people telling me that the anon was spreading misinformation. however, in that blog, i did not acknowledge how my actions could have harmed people listed (especially ones who were listed falsely).

if you were affected in any way by my response to this anon, i apologize personally to you. please know this was not my intent: even if you are a proshipper, my only thoughts regarding that ask was "hey! cool, a free blocklist."

everyone is human, and nobody should be treated this way. although i think proshippers are morally wrong, and need help/therapy, they are still real people behind the screen. real people affected by your actions: mine included. the best thing you can do in the situation of seeing a proshipper is blocking them instead of instigating interaction.

i will no longer be doing anything like this again now that i am taking into consideration that some people are using these lists as witch-hunt lists. i should have checked all of the names before replying, especially since the list included no proof whatsoever. in the future, i do promise to be mindful and very cautious when addressing topics like these, especially when it comes to checking facts.

i do hope i can be forgiven, but i understand if not. i understand my actions have consequences, and i understand i was in the wrong taking a hand in spreading false information and encouraging harassment.

the purpose of this apology is to acknowledge what i did wrong, learn from it, and move on. and, to clear up why i replied to the list. keep in mind that it is not an excuse for my actions, but a reason for them. i still made the choice to answer this ask and not at least clarify to block them instead of harassing them.

to the anon who sent that ask: do not spread false information, please. it only hurts those who are involved, nothing good comes out of it for either side.

one more thing i wish to add:

to the grown adults sending me asks, insulting me: what is wrong with you? i am a 16 year old. i am going to make mistakes. it's a part of life, a part of learning. if you seriously think you're doing good by being nasty to a kid on tumblr because of a stupid choice they made, you further strengthen my belief that proshippers need help.

there's also been people just blatantly insulting things about me that are unrelated to the situation as a whole? my art, for example. please stop.

i don't want my blog to be focused on drama, so i'm not going to post much at all about stuff like proshippers anymore. i'll probably just be sharing art for the most part.

[ritsufeet]

stay with me.

longing [ ft. m. kaiser ]

i don’t want u to leave… in which kaiser longs for you more than he thought he would.

k by cigarettes after sex heavily recommend to listen to while reading!!

all works from luvmouche & ritsufeet on tumblr.

𒁷 sfw, (forced to) made for ivelle (@n6gi)

𒁷 cw// hurt comfort(?), kaiser is too busy for u (dickhead), but it gets better i think, mutual longing, kissing smooch smooch, umm idk what else, kaiser tw🤓, ��m” is his nickname given by the reader, rly short fic btw, slightly ooc kaiser but yk what idc!

i made this for ivelle this is literally yhe only bllk fic ill ever make (maybe) also i dont even like kaiser (kurona bwtter) i originally made this in my notes app i had to decide whether or not i eveb wanted to post this on tumblrHelp

synopsis: michael kaiser is a cruel, busy man—yet he finds himself pining for your warmth more than he expected.

not proofread!!!

kaiser, michael

your boyfriend, michael kaiser, who’s a famous, up and coming athlete, never has any time for you.

“i’m leaving, i have a meeting today.” he says, hurriedly pushing his shoes on with heavy sighs. you look at him and frown, “again? m, you never have any time for me anymore…”

“i know, but i’ll make it up to you, i promise. just not today, i’m busy.” he huffs, frowning right back at you, his blonde hair sways messily in front of his face and his fingers coming up to brush them up and out of the way again. you frown deepens and you sigh.

he looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowed. “what? what’s wrong with you?” his question only makes you sadder.

“can’t you stay?”

“no, i can’t. you know this. i said i’d make it up to you, didn’t i? trust my word.” you know this, you already know… but you can’t help but already begin to miss him.

he’s often gone for long hours, sometimes it’s more than just hours. it’s hard loving him when he’s absent majority of the time, and when he’s not gone, he’s doing something else that doesn’t involve spending time with you. what could be so important, anyway? of course, you love him, you love his career and support him with everything you can, but he could at least love you a little back.

you slowly walk over to him when he’s finished putting on his shoes. he looks at you with soft eyes, a face that he doesn’t show often. vulnerability that doesn’t come easily to him, something he only shows to you. “i’m sorry,” he says, his hand cupping your cheek. you relish in his touch, leaning into his palm. “i really wish i could stay too. you know that as well as i do.” he caresses your cheek, sliding his thumb over your skin.

“i get it… you should go, you don’t want to be late, right?” you look at him giving a reassuring smile. “i’ll be here, like i always am.” his heart aches as those words leave you, and the urge washes over him. he brings himself to your lips and kisses you—sweet, quick, and loving. he lets himself linger there for as long as he needs to. he doesn’t want to be late, yet he finds himself not wanting to move a single inch away from you. he wants to stay, wants to be here with you and the comfort of your kisses.

you pull away instead, you put your hand right above his—the one caressing your cheek so gently and longingly that you fear that it’d break his heart if he tore it away—and squeeze it. his face is solemn, his gaze wavering. he’s staring at you, but he looks away, as if hesitant to say anything. then, he looks at you again, and purses his lips. “..i love you.” your reassuring smile turns into a genuine one. “i love you too, m.”

he pulls you into a hug, holding you longer than just a few seconds, and he can hear himself the moment he decided to just go ‘ah, fuck it.’ a barely audible chuckle comes from his voice leaving you wondering what’s so funny.

“on second thought, i don’t think they’ll mind if i miss a day or two.” he says, smiling.

a/n: i hope ur happy ivelle. k bye im tired fuckkk

[vixensbrainrotts]

Tokyo revengers headcanons

Content: Tr headcanons

Content warnings: None I hope, please let me know if there are any!

Vixen's two cents: I’ve been wanting to dump all my headcanons somewhere for a while now so here! I don’t think that these are all, but I’m gonna make a second post about any further headcanons I have. Also, i apologize for not including everyone here, ill make sure to include them next time. I hope you enjoy, and if you do, please tell me about it! Don’t be afraid to send me requests either, I’d love to write most anything (I’m uncreative sometimes)! Oh also, what are some of your headcanons? Do you agree with any of mine? I’ll link the part two once i figure out how to do that lol

(VOLUME II)

Kokonoi who is genuinely so bothered by bugs you won’t believe it. He has to leave the room as soon as he sees the „threat“, and fast.

Izana who curses loudly on Filipino whenever he accidentally hurts himself. You can hear him shout from across the whole house when he bumps himself on a corner.

Chifiyu who has a passion for graffiti. He loves tagging and wild styling and spraying elaborate throwup-styles on walls on Toman turf.

Inui who is colorblind, which is really unfortunate because he has an interest in fashion and styles. He relies on Koko for the greater part, but has recently discovered apps that identify color, which has vastly improved his personal style and allowed him to take on more challenging shades.

The Katawa twins who have an honestly really impressive Pokémon card collection and often play against each other to pass time. The amount they have spent on it is sorta concerning and more often than not stop by the little magazine store to buy another pack to "improve their decks" before gang meetings.

Hakkai who has a distinct dislike for the color orange but keeps finding himself surrounded it. He hates it but the walls in his room are orange. He could puke because his favorite faux-fur-coat is a darker orange. There’s no reasoner doesn’t like the color but something about it makes his skin crawl.

Hanma who is German/Russian and makes sure everyone knows it. He is proud of his heritage and will often use German and Russian idioms when conversating. It’s all fun and games till he starts swearing in his mother tongues during fights, bashing in his opponent’s skulls whilst cursing in a foreign, very aggressive manner.

Nahoya and Souya who work like devils in the kitchen. It’s a perfect tandem in between them, they somehow always know what the other wants and needs. If Nahoya needs a hand in opening the oven, Souya’s doing a 360 no look opening. If Souya’s hands are messy from kneading the dough, Nahoya automatically turns on the tap for hand washing. Twin telepathy is real and they’re the number one proof.

Mucho who can’t do shit in terms of math. You need him busy? Ask him for 7x9 and he’ll be unresponsive for the next 3-5 minutes. It’s really frustrating to him because he genuinely puts in so much effort to understand the formulas, but the numbers simply don’t click in his brain.

Smiley who got the smiley piercing the moment he found out about it. It’s really impressively healed and works so well on his face. Some even say that his smile has gotten wider ever since he got it. He also has a poorly healed nose stud on the left side that he only keeps in for sentimental value. He got it in the seventh grade during school and he got his ass whooped when he came back home with it.

Kisaki who unintentionally practices calligraphy because he writes exclusively in cursive. All of his notebooks look fake because all the letters look identical and everything is evenly spaced. The highlighter girlies in his classes wish death upon him on a daily.

Rindou who’s cracked at Chemistry for no reason. He doesn’t even have to try, it’s like the formulas unfold in front of him and the laws and rules just make sense. He can’t even explain it but ask him anything, and I mean anything he can give you the right answer. Just don’t ask him to be your lab partner. He has a nasty history of breaking test tubes.

Kakucho who knows how to dress. Like really know how to dress. Anywhere, anytime he’s looking like a Pinterest board. He doesn’t really try or occupy himself with things fashion, but he just looks so good and coordinated all the time. He thought it was natural to know what looks good or not, so he’s sometimes a bit perplexed by the things that his peers wear. He tries to be nice when he tells them it doesn’t work, but comes across a little brash because it frustrates him.

Kazutora who has unnaturally sharp canines. Like, it’s kinda scary sometimes because they poke out of his mouth even when it’s closed. He’ll commonly run his tongue over them when he’s bored, poking and prodding at them to check if they’re still sharp. It’s one of the features of his face he really does like.

Mitsuya who gossips like a Girl. He lives for drama and tea (silently) and due to his club being occupied by mostly girls, he’s surrounded by it constantly. The girls talk and talk and talk and he eats it up. The scary part is that he remembers nearly every part of it, so he knows so much. He’ll never share it with anyone but likes to know what’s happening. Sometimes he even correctly predicts scandals due to background knowledge.

Leading from the last one, Mitsuya who has a deep voice. One that rumbles softly when he speaks and sounds like the ocean when he laughs. It’s a killer during after-noon classes when he has to present or read something cause it has such a calming effect. He’s put multiple of his classmates asleep accidentally.

Draken who know just the tiniest bit about sowing from helping out in Mistuya’s workshop. He knows how to close a seam, he knows how to sew a button and he knows how to patch a hole and that’s it. He’s lowkey proud of it though.

[regency-monster-love]

Part 5 of Colin and Susannah | Master post

Male werewolf x female human | Regency era | SFW but suggestive | mutual pining

~ 🐺🎩 ~

When Colin asked to see Miss Oakden’s paintings, he did genuinely wish to see them, but primarily his motivation was to allow them to leave the drawing room together, where her mother currently sat with them, so that he could be alone with his mate and propose to her.

So it was with great dismay that Miss Oakden only led him to the other side of the room they were already in, to where a portfolio was laid out upon a high table. His tail drooped. This would not do at all!

But he smothered his disappointment and tried to focus on her paintings. They were quite good, which was of no surprise to him—his Susannah would of course be accomplished at anything she did. He voiced his appreciation of her work and was rewarded with several of her pretty smiles.

And, at least he got to enjoy standing so close to her. This was the first occasion he'd been with her in his wolf form, and his keener senses made her scent more potent than ever before. His pleasure at smelling his mate’s unique scent was increased by the trace of arousal that still mingled amongst it, faint but lush, like a thin but decadent layer of cream that clung to one's tongue. Was his mere presence next to her enough to excite her? Oh! how he needed to make her his!

When Susannah showed Colin one of her paintings that was framed, hanging on the wall, it gave him another idea of how he might get her alone. “Surely there are others displayed in other rooms as well,” he said. “You promised to show me your entire collection.”

A smile curled her lips again. “I can show you a few others that are elsewhere.”

Yet in a positively tragic turn of events, Susannah’s mother accompanied them out of the room. Colin’s tail didn't droop this time, it twitched in frustration. All he needed was three minutes alone with his mate, perhaps even just one, and yet he could not manage it!

The visit ended with no proposal having been made.

He was disappointed, but he wasn’t of a temper to dwell in melancholy. His natural confidence quickly lifted his spirits; there still remained several weeks before Susannah left for the London season, and he felt sure he could find an opportunity of getting her alone long enough to secure her agreement to marry him.

The remainder of that week was taken up with pack squabbles and estate business, so his proposal had to wait. The following week, when he went to call at Susannah’s home, he learned that she was confined to bed with a cold. His entire body tensed at the news that his mate was unwell, and it was an effort to restrain himself from leaping up the stairs to dash directly into her bedroom. He wanted to bring her food and feed it to her from his own muzzle, wrap his furry body around her for warmth, and lick her skin to soothe and clean her. She was his mate, and it was his right to protect and care for her! But by human ideas, he was nothing to her, and could not even see her, let alone touch her.

He spent the next few nights pacing under her window in his wolf form, constantly sniffing the air to see if the scent of illness was no longer seeping from her bedroom. His mate instincts screamed at him the entire time, making his limbs burn with the urge to go to her, and driving him mad with worry and frustration at his helplessness. During the day, he was forced to stay away, and spent his time prowling about his estate aimlessly, snapping and snarling at any packmate who attempted to appease him.

He knew he was being unreasonable—he’d been assured by Susannah's mother and by the physician, whom he had gone to see as soon as he left the Oakdens’ home that first day, that her illness was a trifling one. But he could not help it. If he could see her just once with his own eyes—and better yet, lick and smell her directly—then he could be easy, but without the assurance of his own senses, he could not rest.

His frustration would have been even greater if he had known that his mate was longing for him, too, whilst she was confined to bed. How Susannah yearned for his comfort! Somehow she knew he could provide it to her better than anyone. That handsome fur of his would surely be warming against her—even his smile would warm her, she thought. But she did not voice these feelings to anyone, knowing it would be improper for him to visit her, and scolding herself for being so silly to even imagine it.

Fortunately for both of them, her illness was over in only three or four days. Colin rejoiced when he learned that she was well, and could barely contain his excitement to see her again and finally propose.

Yet still more obstacles appeared in his way. Christmas festivities threw them together fairly often, but the events were always too busy for him to get her alone. He had to content himself with staring at her beauty from across the room, waiting for those fleeting but cherished moments when she’d turn her head and stare back, and hoping that he was not imagining the want he saw reflected in her eyes. Occasionally he could get close enough to speak a few words to her, but never for long, and never in private.

He wanted to grab her by the waist and steal her away from everyone else, to some dark, quiet spot where he could confess his love to her through word and then demonstrate it through touch, chasing away the quiet with the sounds of their clandestine love-making.

He grew so desperate that he even considered proposing by letter, but no self-respecting werewolf would do something so impersonal. He wished to propose in person, preferably in his wolf form, to hear whether her heart sped up in happiness when he asked her, to smell whether her scent shifted into one of contentment or excitement, to see her delighted smile with his own eyes.

But before he knew it, weeks had sped by—until one day in early January, the Oakdens were gone, off to London for the season, while Colin was left behind without a proposal having ever been made.

He regretted calling Susannah a butterfly once, for she had flown away from him, despite his every attempt to catch her. Who knew when she might flutter back to him.

He drew out a long silk glove from his pocket and held it to his snout, closing his eyes and dragging in a long breath through his nostrils. He had previously stolen this glove when he and Susannah had been at a ball together, and was not proud of doing so, but could not regret it, because it allowed him to have her sweet scent still with him.

This scrap of scent was all he might have of his mate for some weeks. Perhaps even months.

Oh God, please let it not be months, he thought.

~ 🐺🎩 ~

End of part 5 of Colin and Susannah

Sorry, not a lot happening in this chapter other than some sweet sweet pining, but it was needed to get us to the next part. Coming soon!

Read all of my Regency monster ficlets and snippets at the tag #my writing.

[ashemellow]

noelashe and how humans are inherently good (bc i need to get this out of my system) (it's mostly just ashe) (long AS HELL! 1 note in 20 days!)

ahem

ashe was born in a healthy environment, with a loving and caring family he deeply loved. everything he did was for or because of them (eg he wanted to become a doctor, and the impetus for it was his sister being ill). they helped him cultivate the good inside him and were his motive to keep being good, so naturally when they were taken away from him, he lost that motivation. that's what m*tty meant when he said to ashe that now he wouldn't have any more reasons to be a doctor, just like him. unlike ashe, m*tty was raised in a troubled environment and never had as much support as ashe, so he didn't have enough chances nor reasons to cultivate his inherent good (obvs doesn't justify any creepy and evil shit he did, ew).

so with this new influence from The Bitch™ in ashe's environment, he started to change. he realized that people couldn't be trusted and became a shell of what he once was, abandoning his morals in spite of his desires. after all, you can't be good and happy at the same time- you need to choose one of the two, so now ashe continuely chooses to be evil.

however, it's not that simple. ashe does, in fact, commit horrible acts, he murders, lies, and jaywalks. he uses people to get what he wants, since he's learned that those evil acts can grant his wishes (in this case, literally), and though his morals would never let him consider any of those crimes correct, he represses them (and the guilt he feels for his own actions) to be able to keep going.

but ashe is not inherently or irredeemably evil, and he can still do good things for no other reason than genuine goodness. for example, he took care of noel when he got sick. he worried and cared so much to the point of cutting noel's food into fun shapes, and he didn't aim to earn anything with that (noel's trust, admiration etc).

when noel confronted him with this fact, stating that ashe could not be an irredeemable monster if he had been kind to him, ashe refuted it, saying that it's not because you do good things that you are a good person. that much is true, because you can do good things for your own satisfaction, not thinking about the people you're helping, only about yourself. but then noel asks ashe if all he had done for him was a lie, then, and ashe stays silent, because no, his kind acts came from the heart and didn't have with any second intention behind them.

but why? isn't ashe evil now? how could someone who was so wretched and broken by others, who knows very well how cruel humans can be and who makes an effort every single day to go down that same path because he chose his own happiness above being good, still be capable of kindness? didn't m*tty change him?

he did change him, of course- his actions did, opening ashe's eyes to the possibility of cruelty among humankind, something he had never experienced firsthand before. but ashe still has that spark of kindness inside of him- something he was born with and learned to cultivate over time. hadn't he been born with it, hadn't he been born good, would he ever be genuinely kind in his life? knowing it wouldn't get him anywhere- at least not far, because as he himself said, "kindness alone can't protect anything"?

of course ashe isn't a saint, but he's no monster either. no one is 100% good or evil- but what i think and what i'm trying to explain here is that goodness lies within us since the start, like an instinct, and evil is learned from exposition to a certain environment. of course those expositions can change how we behave, but it's different on each person- everyone, though, still has that inherent good inside of them, whether it's still being cultivated or never has been at all.

[kindred-spirit-93]

the challenge

aight yall i just had my best most brilliant idea perhaps ever while listening to the challenge. i have work to do and cant draw for shit but i desperately need to share my visions lol so here ya go:

instrumental

starts with pen in her quarters, setting the scene with le olive tree bed, the loom, penelope and finally the shroud. i picture pen as to be standing infront of her work, the figures almost looking down at her

as soon as i weave this shroud...

her fingertips glide her work (downwards motion) till she reaches the seams (?) where u can see the ends where she undoes her work

though i never thought... ill be here

moves to window and into balcony. curled fists hit the rail thingy with the beat thingy at "but i dont know how much longer ill last...". her eyes narrow in thought and widen with her realisation.

is it finally time... ill be here

she gives the shores her back and looks into her room again, eyes shifting from the shroud to the closed chest, calculating.

--

buying you time [suitors vocals]

it cuts to the suitors, who are chanting in the background, in the hall. setting the scene again with table(s), a view from the ceiling looking at the layout, wall decor idk lol (didnt do my research for this XD)

anyway pen walks in head held high just barely containing a scowl (killer death glare tho) and ignored bc theyre all dipshits.

--

the genius idea i had btw is when she makes her entrance she is dressed in spartan clothes, possibly even a breastplate idk im working it out, whereas for like the past decade its always been ithacan textiles colours and robes (im going to assume each kingdom had its own unique thing go away let me have this) do u see what im seeing?

oh and also she wears le make up, something she never did in the past 10 years (taking this as a mourning thing where she wouldnt wear anything extravagant like her usual crown and stuff. also to spite the suitors bc fuck them. WAR PAINT). pls imagine cool visuals

i genuinely cant over emphasise how regal but also deadly the looks shes serving are here: suns on her face, her (very) long* salt and pepper hair freely behind her (another visual detail of her letting her hair down contrasting how its been tied for a decade)

--

whoever can string my husbands old bow..

she holds the bow above her head for all to see, and raises her voice above that of the rude suitors and breaks the atmosphere (a war cry if u will hehe), giving them the instructions to the challenge. just overall badassery from my queen u feel me.

let the arrow fly... without the best of you

she now has everyones undivided attention and her voice drops again to merely above a whisper but her words ring in everyones ears. she now holds the bow between her two hands, she looks fierce, overprotective. its like she doesnt want her beloveds bow to be tainted by their unworthy filthy hands, yet another sacrifice she makes. she ends with a snarl

though i never thought.. i would not have it any other way

(internal singing here) nose in the air she leaves the room after the first hour she spent tight lipped watching them fail miserably. its cathartic to her lol shes barely holding back her smile if it werent for her unbridled fury. anywho

--

and though i never thought.. just know ill be here

cuts to pen back in her room reflecting afterwards, the sun has now set and her hands are on the rail again, (parallels to the first but lol) this time theyre clasped together. bc wedding ring and aging hands and scars from weaving. god i wish i could draw hands :')

waiting, waiting, waiting...

she once again gives her back to the ithacas shores and her gaze rests on another tapestry, stepping closer with each iteration of waiting.

...oh

ends with her softly reaching out but not quite touching said tapestry (closes her hands just before, in tortured restraint. bc pain): one she weaved as odysseus built their bed. ✨homophrosyne✨ >:')

(i imagine it to be them when they were younger idk it was her courting gift, so probably olive tree with them (in embrace) under it)

are u crying yet?

[plague-karm]

More opinions about my interests since I liked making the last one.

* At this point in time I like Freshy Kanal more than ERB, the match ups are more up my alley and the beats slap so much harder

* Sisyphus is JUST as interesting as Minos you’re just letting the memes control your judgement (read his terminal entry there’s more to him then just being a spiteful bastard towards heaven)

* If any other indie dev treated Steel Wool like Scott Cawthon did during the making of Security Breach (basically not telling them the games story which lead to it being a narrative clusterfuck) they would get drawn and quartered but because Scott Cawthon did it no one seems to mind???

* I’m beginning to not mind The Mimic but I will never get over how quickly Vanny got pushed aside. She could’ve shown how serial killers have copycat killers (something that Scott himself is scared of which is why no actual Fnaf themed restaurants have been made) long after their time is done (going back to the “I always come back” quote in a really cool way) but no we just get a fucked up little guy. I am looking forward to Secret Of The Mimic but the way Vanny got treated as a nothing threat after YEARS of build up is easily one of the most infuriating parts of Fnaf’s story

* I’m happy that the Five Laps At Freddy’s demo got patched but it NEVER should’ve been released in the state it was in and the people who were complaining towards those with concerns need to know that there is a difference between a demo with some glitches here and there and something that’s borderline unplayable. I am convinced that the demo only got released because the anniversary came up.

* Maybe Garten Of Banban would go away if people stop paying attention to it and constantly buying the new ones so they can bitch about how bad it is on their let’s play channels idk

* BATIM has my favourite setting out of any mascot horror game, it’s so immersive and the fact that it slowly changed into a sprawling ecosystem is so interesting to me

* Needy Streamer Overload has one of the best portrayals of mental illness I’ve ever seen in media but the actual gameplay gets really old after a while

* Surge > Scourge, I love them both for different reasons but Surge’s story is one of the darkest in Sonic canon and a lot more compelling to me, I’m interested to see what they do with her later in the comics

* Multishipping will free your mind please try it more I beg you

* Madohomu is NOT one sided, Homura’s feelings towards Madoka are that intense that anything Madoka feels towards her would feel small by comparison

* Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die is nowhere near the worst P!ATD album, it’s one of my favourites and it’s a really good listen for night time drives

* I hated the way some people got pissed at The Cuphead Show for not being lore and angst heavy. I really liked it! And they made certain characters way more entertaining than they were in the actual game! The Devil went from being a somewhat boring villain in the game to being my favourite character in the whole show. And the fact they made Brineybeard a monsterfucker is funnie he just like me fr

* The issue with Hazbin Hotel’s use of red isn’t the red itself, it’s the fact that the SAME shade is used CONSTANTLY. If they used different shades more frequently instead of just cherry red it wouldn’t be that much of an issue (like burgundy, burgundy is cool)

* The NiGHTS series might be one of the most wasted IP’s of all time, AMAZING character designs (NiGHTS’ design is genuinely perfect I would change nothing about it) and the atmosphere and tone was genuinely magical. Shigeru Miyamoto (the creator of MARIO) has gone on record saying that he wished he came up with the idea of NiGHTS, which is incredibly high praise…and we haven’t gotten a new one in YEARS! Where is it?!

* TADC is not an industry plant or content farm slop, because unlike that kind of shit you can actually tell that there’s passion and love behind the project. No one expected it to get as popular as it did it just happened.

* Telling someone who’s stimming (regardless of the amount of noise it makes) to stop in a condescending way is a really shitty thing to do, like come on man let my leg do its thing :(

* You do not have to defend everything you like until your last breath it’s okay to admit that it kinda sucks (Repo! The Genetic Opera is a clusterfuck narrative wise and some of the songs are shit but I still love it lmao)

* G3 Ivy’s design > G1 Ivy’s design

* Fuck The Critical Drinker, all my homies hate The Critical Drinker (his take on Midsommar’s ending is genuinely one of the most braindead analysis’ I’ve ever seen and I have no idea how anyone continued taking him seriously after that because what the fuck 💀)

* If you see news of a music artist you like go through a personal tragedy and your first thought is “the new album’s gonna be fire” then you need to get your head checked because what the fuck is wrong with you genuinely

* Mel Medarda is objectively the finest character in Arcane fight me idgaf

* Cairngorm is one of the most interesting characters in Land Of The Lustrous, you can acknowledge that they changed for the worst (fuck Aechmea) while also acknowledging that Phos solely viewing them as a second Antarcticite due to them not handling their grief well was fucked up

* The holy quintet transformation sequence in Rebellion is an actual work of art and a masterclass in symbolism i could write an entire thesis on it (and the music too omg)

* I don’t ship SCU Sonadow at all I’m sorry I just don’t see it (Prime Sonadow though? Peak shit)

* Homura and Kyoko have one of the most interesting dynamics in the entire show but no one talks about them for some reason?

* Helluva Boss’ second season will be remembered like Euphoria’s second season, amazing visuals and acting but the story took a fucking nosedive and there are several characters acting out of character solely so the plot can move forward (the fact they actually started giving Millie interesting characterisation only to get her pregnant two episodes later is insane and people are already accusing her of cheating fucking hell the misogyny in that fandom is rampant 😭)

* Leviathan has the worst boss theme in Ultrakill and it’s not even close

* Cyn is the best part of Murder Drones, she has the best design in the entire show and she’s the perfect mix of cute and disturbing

* TADC actually being character focused instead of lore focused is such a breath of fresh air, so many series’ focus on their lore to the point where the traits of the characters are mostly forged from fanon so to actually have a series focus on the actual characters and their issues is just great

[2309analysis]

HEADCANON: Alright, I have this headcanon(s) I have been thinking about all day today - Splinter would not understand “hey bro/dude/gang” slang. If somebody was like, “yo! What’s hanging, dude?” He’d just stare blankly and raise an eyebrow, “excuse me, what?” Poor rat just feels like he heard riddles coming from a person’s mouth. A few lessons on today’s society is definitely sliding in Splinter’s schedule.

If he would ever, and I mean ever, become friends and close with somebody. Who’d I genuinely think the kind of “friend” it’d be; laid-back, chill, nothing phases them, and has a pretty dry sense of humor. Practically laughs at everything or anything with no real serious and ill intentions.

I also would think the friendship would be extremely therapeutic and healthy for Splinter. The complete lack of any real seriousness and constraint of anything constantly around Splints’ and not being his sons would balance out so many of his own toxic traits. Especially over his uprightness and complete disregard to consider his sons’ wishes. (Unintentionally, hear me out, not calling him a bad father)

Having a friend who can put his arm around Splinter’s shoulder, and easily look at him eye-to-eye, and simply say “relax.” Is kinda what Splinter needs every once in a while; having someone to fully understand what he’s going through, and letting him warm-up to them. Allowing Splinter to fall on their back’s, and feel safe knowing he’s watched out. (Lowkey making a ship???) Especially sending his sons’ out every night to stop something that could always potentially kill them.

Splinter lives in fear, and he’s right to do so. Knowing the Shedder is after them, and their human friends’, terrified him, and rightfully so, causes self-conflict and tension between the relationships with his sons. He starts to become harsher with training, and more strict on their freedom and carefreeness. Meditates more, isolating himself, and trying to loathe him off from stress. While still aiding, and training teenagers. He already has it tough being a single parent, but knowing you’re and your kids are being hunted? Amplifies every fear and heightened tension by ten-fold.

Him gaining a trustworthy friend, and if, potential partner would completely water down those feelings and traits. I’m willing to bet, if Splints’ can get his hands on somebody who’s his age, and willing to listen and trust them, he’s a lot less freakishly insecure and uptight. Having somebody who gives him a voice of reason, rather than a dismissive attitude about a demand, might change his ways of thinking or perceptions on the boys. Then, maybe by chance, help Splinter and the boys grow closer together and stronger than ever. (These mutants need to get down and talk with their father once in a while)

Some smaller headcanons/examples of what I see if Splinter could form a normal and healthy friendship:

They’d play chess. I would imagine that Splinter loves strategy games, and be thrilled to finally have someone up his age and maturity range to play with. It induces the brain to think faster, smarter, and more efficient compared to other people. Splinter is growing of age: his ability mentally will deteriorate whether it’s liked or not. Donnie does occasionally join to text some new strategies and tricks.

Advice. Oh, god, the advice/therapy sessions would go on for HOURS. Mostly just Splinter trauma-dumping a well-tuned adult who can properly handle high emotional drama with a healthy and stable/supportive brain. Would really help with Splinter’s self-inclination of toxic and unhealthy guilt-tripping all the time.

Training/Weaponry. I can totally see the friend indulging into Splinter’s routine and get giddy and wants to try to become a Ninja themselves. Granted, I think they’d also be less serious about, because they do got lives’ to live and go to. So, none of the hand-on serious, you’re going out and saving the world, risking your life to do so, kind of crap. Although, they learn a few nice moves, and how to properly handle weapons. Although, for more self-defense and combat experience. Bonus points: Raph joins in, and spares a little with Splinter. Just know that’s a giant win in Raph’s book.

Cleaning up the lair. Splinter would probably want to feel a little traditional and clean up for a guest, (act like he tried doing more and more for April) therefore, kinda forces the boys to clean up after themselves. Especially Mikey, and, will occasionally help clearing things out the way. I mean, bigger things, such as folding blinds/shades(?) and arcade games. Although, he believes the boys can go and do it themselves, but they secretly love hanging out with him outside of training, so they beg for him to help. (Even Raph)

That’s all I kinda have for now. Although, I will totally be cooking up more TMNT headcanons, and such. I hope you guys enjoy this wholesome treat. Also, no, I am not trying to portray Splinter as a bad father, but the guy has done flaws. Like all of us, nobody is perfect, and remember that!

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

Isn't it SO fun to be harassed and bullied at school? /sarc

People call me a "FUCKING WEIRDO!" (Yes, that's word for word.)

They make faces at me like I'm sort of disgusting slob. (And they SHOW it and they WANT me to know they think that!)

Along with that, one kid pretended to gag and throw up at the sight of me, and used solar eclipse glasses to not look at me.

One kid called me ugly today! (YAY! /sarc)

They poke and prod at me like I'm a science experiment.

They fear the fact I smile all the time, that I tend to keep an emotionless expression in my eyes. (I'm only following Alastor's advice!)

They love to annoy me... But it's getting tiring.

Only a select few enjoy my presence, they keep me in and go along with my antics. My friend group likes having me around. And other kids I don't know much and we're neutral with each other.

I know I'm "weird" by their standards. But what's the fun in the world without differences?

I know I took on the persona of "weirdo" in my class. I want to go up to a teacher and cry. Because I didn't deserve to be treated like this?

I didn't deserve to be told "You know you should kill yourself" when I'm already suicidal. Did I?

Get told I'm retarded like 10 times already? Maybe more? (I'm not even exaggerating...)

And considering I might have mental illnesses such as possible autism, that's even meaner. At this point I'm not living, I'm surviving.

There's a reason why I've given up. My best friends are on the internet. I don't think without them I would be able to live today. Why do the people who care about me, share my interests, accept me for who I am, respect me, and TREAT me like I'm a human being, so far away?

I know I may be Xenogender, but that's no excuse for treating me no better than some sort of inferior species.

I see no one else getting treated like this, I'm the subject, no, the OBJECT of their bullying.

What the fuck am I supposed to do??? What do you fucking EXPECT me to do??? "Be yourself"??? I AM being myself, and you're fucking BULLYING me!? AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT ON SOME SORT OF MASK? I AM SMILING, MOTHERFUCKER, YET YOU STILL BULLY ME WHEN I DO HAVE A MASK!? /not you, to them

Like, please. Let me rest. Let me have a normal day where I don't have to face discrimination. Where I get treated with love.

I get treated so awfully so much, that I don't even know who I am anymore.

I lost myself.

My catchphrase has to be "I'm so done-" because I said that more than I needed to.

I feel like the next time someone does anything to me, I'm just going to burst out crying.

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

I hope you're doing alright right now, first things first, i need to let you know that you do matter, and you certainly don't deserve to be treated as subhuman as they treat you, I only wish the worst upon them <3 They are bitches who are a waste of oxegyn, they need to put you down to feel something or feel like they matter, and for that they are the weakest most disgusting subhuman people, genuinely hope they get more fucked up than they ever made you feel 🧡

It's pretty obvious that they're trying to make you feel shit, and i wish i was there to fight them off or comfort you when it happened, i said it before and i'll say it again, you don't deserve any of this. You deserve to be happy, and to feel like you are loved and cared for, the way they treat you is uncalled for and it's disgusting [them, not you, your cool] And agreed, your gender or your neurodivergence shouldn't be the reason you get bullied, they aren't things you can control, or things you have to change, they are litterally a part of your being/existence, I can't believe all of the shitty things they're doing, you don't deserve it. Have you tried to tell anyone? [although that doesn't work often, it's worth a try]. It seems like it's really affecting you, whether you admit it or not /nbr /npa I'd reccomend telling a teacher/principle [the meaner the teacher the better], if that doesn't work fight back, physically i wouldnt reccomend but if you have to, do it. Theres not much we can do about bullying, which is fucking shitty, but please hang in there at least and take care of yourself, i care about you and love you /p

I hope it gets better and they stop, they're pieces of shit who shouldn't be making you feel like this, they're insensitive cunts who should have their face cut up, hope they get bullied those fucking assholes