#I will be stewing on this for the whole week
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fool me three times... ✩ s.jy [m]
synopsis: you've come home late twice this week, and for the third time to be on jake's birthday is not as charming as they say. genre: established relationship, pwp (sigh...), angst/smut/tiny bit of fluff pairing: sim jaeyun x fem!reader word count: 3.3k rating: 18+. minors do not interact. warnings: swearing, angry?jake, mentions of jay (poor guy). petnames (baby..sir [free me!!!!]), mentions of voyeurism/3way. oral (f.rec), fingering (f.rec), squirting, degrading, no aftercare (but it's fine i promise) listen to: fallin' - dawn, pH-1 ; abyss - dawn ; meddle about - chase atlantic author's note: i wrote this on a whim, and i'm not entirely happy with it (smut is not my forte nor do i love writing it.) i'd originally planned to take one of my ideas out of the vault and write it in advance, but i got slammed with schoolwork. i am so, so tired as i write this note. happy birthday, jaeyun. i love u.
It's twelve-forty-two in the morning.
This is the third time this week that Jake finds himself sitting on the couch, alone in your shared apartment. He's turned all the lights off, legs crossed over one another as he checks his phone for the fifth time. Nothing.
He sighs inwardly, leaning further into the soft cushions of the couch. You'd picked this out together, and it was one of your favorite places to spend time together that wasn't your bedroom. The soft brown suede had seen the two of you in many situations – cuddling under a soft white blanket Jake's mom gave you for Christmas last year. Sharing a bowl of cereal because you were too lazy to get up and make your own, but you gladly stood up and refilled his bowl. Holding hands tightly when a scary scene came on the television, crashing on the couch after dancing around together to Fallin' by Dawn and pH-1.
Kissing like two desperate lovers, unable to even take your clothes off to fully feel each other's skin. This couch had seen you in every position imaginable, the cushion on the far right the usual place for your face if Jake was too excited to make it to the bedroom.
You were so busy these days. You hadn't had a date night in three weeks, hadn't had sex in two…and unfortunately – it's making him a little insane.
Recently…the couch had seen more and more of Jake, alone. Jake sitting alone, popcorn bowl in his lap as he waited for you to come home from work. Jake, laying down while wearing the oversized hoodie you'd worn the day before, engulfed in the soft grapefruit notes of your perfume. Jake, letting Layla up on the couch to snuggle with because he can't feel your warmth at that moment.
Jake, missing you.
He sighs again, flipping his phone over.
12:45AM.
No new messages from you, no missed calls. Just the soft sound of Abyss by Dawn.
Where have you gone? You were his best friend. His best friend wrapped gently in the sheets of his love, filled to the brim with his soft words and loving caresses. You were his best friend, his lover, his everything. He saw himself in you, his whole purpose was you.
"Shh, he's probably asleep." He hears your voice from the other side of the front door, before hearing you try to gently slide your key in the lock. His eyes widened, pressing pause on the song before bolting for the bedroom. He doesn't make it in time, the door opening and his ears picking up on a familiar laugh.
Jay.
"Jongseong, for the love of God." You grit, and Jake watches as the two of you carefully toe off your shoes, loads of bags in your hands as Jay snickers to himself, carefully tiptoeing to the kitchen in the dark. The hallway light illuminates the back of you, and you suddenly stiffen, lifting your head to meet Jake's eyes.
He scoffs inwardly, watching as you try to fumble with the lightswitch in the living room just as he slides into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He locks it, hearing you start an argument with Jay in the kitchen as you shut the front door.
Unfortunately, Jake only stews in his anger. He doesn't know why you're late today, but it seems Jay has your attention more than your boyfriend does. Your boyfriend of three years, pushed to the side the day before (and day of) his birthday for a friend you made through Jake.
Jake flips onto the bed, a frustrated groan from his lips as he hears the two of you rustling around in the kitchen. The fact that you haven't even come to the bedroom to let him know that you're home is even more infuriating, and Jake feels his throat start to burn as he holds back angry tears.
Jake had always been good at setting boundaries and putting feelings first, despite being somewhat of a more logical thinker. You were an incredibly emotional person, hidden behind layers of shitty relationships and hurtful friendships, was your tired heart trying to patch itself up. Jake knew that if it was him that did this – not texting you when he'd be home late, letting you agonize over your whereabouts, coming home with one of your friends in tow and giggling like they had some sort of secret…
You'd make a fucking scene.
But Jake can't bring himself to do that. Even in all his anger, his frustration…his hurt, he can't confront you like that. It's not fair, to either of you (or Jay, but who's talking about that guy right now? Not Jake.)
He takes a deep breath, feeling a tear slip down the side of his face. He wipes it away quickly, only standing up from the bed to unlock the door. He takes your hoodie off, the grapefruit perfume making his chest ache. He knows you could just be planning a surprise for him. He knows that, but his mind can't help but wonder as he pulls back the comforter.
Why three late nights, in one week? Why no messages, why no phone calls? You wouldn't even kiss him hello when you arrived, just a tired smile and a soft hey. Your hair was always in disarray, and he knew it was because you liked to drive with the windows down. He knew that.
Sighing, he slips under the covers, facing away from the door. He hears you laugh loudly, before hearing your soft footsteps make their way to the bedroom. He wipes at his eyes, feeling a few more tears trickle down his fingers as he hears the door open gently.
He doesn't turn to face you, instead choosing to squeeze his eyes shut when he hears you sigh gently.
"I know you're awake." You murmur, but he doesn't respond. He doesn't turn around, choosing to breathe through his mouth to hide the fact that your behavior drove him to tears. You click your tongue, and he hears the zipper of your pants. You're moving around, undressing from the pretty pink blouse and grey slacks he chose for you that morning.
He pulls the covers up further, covering his bare shoulders before feeling your hand on the back of his neck. Your fingertips are warm, your thumb gently circling his pulse point. "Jake." "What?" He mutters, the bite of his tone not going unnoticed. You sigh, and he peels open one eye to look up at you. "What, Y/N?" He sees your eyes scan his face, before your hand on his neck gives a soft squeeze. "I love you." He doesn't like how quickly the knot in his stomach goes away at your words, or the way you can tell his cheeks and ears are tinging pink. He scoffs, closing his eye and moving from your touch. "I love you, too. Keep it down."
"Mmh." You hum in response, but he feels your hand card through his hair. He huffs, before feeling your lips press gently on his temple. "I miss you, my baby." You say against his skin, and pull away entirely. He hears you open his dresser drawer, and the rustling of his clothing being pulled onto your body. He opens his eyes to see you tug on a random shirt of his, pulling your hair out of the neckline before opening the door.
"Y/N, where is your butter?!" Jay calls, and you quickly shut the door, scampering down the hall.
He can hear the two of you bickering before you groan frustratedly, and he can hear Jay say he's going to the store. You argue that you don't even really need the butter for the cake, but Jay's words take Jake by surprise.
"Maybe go spend some time with him while I'm out of here. You know, I love you because you're my friend, but you're really dense today. Sometimes your boyfriend just needs you."
You didn't reply, or at least Jake doesn't think you did as he hears the door open and close. He hears you groan, and he's out of bed before he can even realize it. He grabs the hoodie back off the top of the dresser, shoving his head through it before yanking the door open.
"Y/N." He calls from the threshold of the bedroom, and you poke your head out of the kitchen. Your eyes are wide, but he can see how tired you are by the bags under your eyes. You probably took it off during your overtime, you'd been doing that a lot lately.
He sighs, closing the bedroom door behind him as he walks towards the kitchen. You step out, shaking your head. "You can't go in there, Jake. I'm…we…" "I'm just going to get the butter for you." He rolls his eyes, pushing past and looking away from all the stuff on the counter – but not before catching a glimpse of baby blue frosting in a bag. There were egg cartons stacked neatly, and three gallons of milk. Too many bags of flour to count, and Jake opens the freezer to pull out the butter he'd put up there earlier.
He'd gone grocery shopping by himself, because you weren't able to get off work. He wasn't upset about it, but he remembers you liked to freeze the butter until you had to use it. He doesn't remember why, but the habit stuck with him.
Just like all of your other little habits.
Your eyes are wide as he slides it onto the island, before worming back out of the kitchen. He doesn't say anything to you, only slinking past your tired shoulders when you manage to grab his fingers. He stops in his tracks, sighing as you skirt around to face him. He looks down at you, a tense clench in his jaw as he moves his brows in query.
"Don't be mad." You breathe, both your hands now holding his wrist and fingers. Your eyes search his face, finding the anger in the twitch of his brows before he shakes his head. "I'm not. I'm just tired." "I'm tired too, but I'm not looking at you like that." Jake feels his head swim as he takes in the tinge of guilt in your voice. He knows you're trying to do something nice for him, even if you're shitty at keeping secrets. He knows you're not doing anything to hurt him, you just have a horrible way of executing things.
He appreciates you nonetheless, because he knows that you're trying your best. Your schedule is jam-packed – your days are long and frustrating, full of people that need your help constantly, full of you having to make decisions for everyone else.
Jake being someone who values quality time clashed with that. He remembers how he'd squeeze in seeing you during your lunch break when you first started dating, just to have a moment alone. He remembers even waking up early to drive to your old apartment and sit in your bedroom while you got ready for work, just for a chance to give you a good morning kiss.
He made time. You're making time.
"I'm sorry." You speak again, your hands squeezing his arm lightly. "Yeah?" He shakes his head, but you nod quickly, your hands floating to his face.
"I am, I'm sorry. I know I should be–" "Prove it." He cuts you off, his face just inches from yours. Your eyes are glued to his lips, before they flicker up to his. He furrows his eyebrows at you expectantly, your tongue wetting your own lips just slightly. "How?" "You know how." His response is curt, and you swallow hard. "...Can I kiss you?" He doesn't respond, opting to answer physically. His lips press to yours gently, hands snaking around your waist to pull you closer to him. He craved your presence, in any way he could have it. He feels you sigh into his mouth as his fingers slip under your shirt, pinching at the soft skin.
"Bedroom." You mumble against his lips, and he shakes his head. "Right here." His lips move down your jaw, before his teeth catch your earring, tugging it gently. You groan as his hands move under your sweatpants, palming at your ass as you struggle to speak. "Jay-" He growls against your neck, his teeth nipping at the skin before running his tongue over it. "I don't give a shit about Jay. We can give him a show if he wants to watch."
He reconnects your lips, tongue sliding into your mouth as he moves the two of you back to the couch. His fingers push your sweatpants down as the back of your legs hit the cushion, and you look over at the door, seeing it slightly ajar and unlocked. "The door–" "Fuck the door." He groans, tugging your underwear down in one go. He pushes you gently back against the couch before kneeling in front of you, tugging the clothing off your bottom half before yanking you closer to him by your ankle. You yelp before feeling him bite at your inner thigh. "Jake!" "That's for being late on Monday." He mutters, before sinking his teeth into your other thigh, a whimper from your throat catching his attention. "That's for being late on Thursday." "I'm sorry, I was just–" "I don't want to hear it." He interrupts, shrugging. He lowers his head again, watching you brace yourself for the sharp pain of his teeth, smiling to himself before spitting on your pussy. You jolt, but can't say anything as he quickly drags his tongue through your slit. He laps at you like a dog, messily collecting your arousal on his tongue as you breathe heavily.
His nose bumps your clit as he avoids touching it with his tongue entirely, opting to thrust the wet muscle into your hole as you whine his name out desperately. "J-Jake, please, I'm sorry–" He pulls away, his lips and chin covered in your slick as he runs the tips of his cold fingers through your folds. "You know, you could've texted me."
You shudder as his thumb makes contact with your clit, the pressure light as he circles it. "I know, Jakey, I'm–" "Or called. I paid the phone bill, and I got the confirmation email. Your phone works." He interjects, nodding his head as he eases the tip of his middle finger into you, smiling to himself as your head lolls back. "I'm sorry." You breathe out, Jake's finger curling inside you to brush that spot that makes your eyes roll. He only hums in response, feeling you cover his hand in your arousal as he slowly adds another finger, relishing in the wet sound of your pussy against his hand. "You're going to prove it to me, right? Gonna cum all over my hand, right? That's all you're good for, anyway." His tone is condescending, making you clench around his fingers. His eyes widen, before a low chuckle slips through his lips. "You like that? Being nothing but a hole for me to use?" You whimper, hiding your face in your hands as your hips meet Jake's fingers, only for his hand to slip out and land a sharp smack against your clit. You gasp, your legs threatening to close as Jake bullies his shoulders between them, his fingers slipping back into you with practiced ease.
"You can't call, you can't text, and now you can't speak. Forgive me for thinking your brain would work for anything." He rolls his eyes, feeling his cheeks flush at his own words. The two of you had never explored this, only sweet nothings and soft praises expressed between you, even a soft slut thrown in if the night was especially raunchy.
"I'm sorry, Jake, I'm sorry." Your thighs are trembling on his shoulders, and he scoffs against your skin. "Yeah, yeah."
He lowers his head, lips latching onto your swollen clit. His eyes flutter shut at the taste of you, his knees weak at the idea of having gone so long without it. Your fingers tangle in his hair as he curls his own upwards, the tug of yours making him moan into your wet cunt. Soft gasps of don't stop hitting his ears, and he knows he should be upset at you but it would take an entire army to pry him off you at that moment.
He feels you clamp down on his fingers, your back arching off the couch as he feels your release soak his face and hoodie, dripping down his fingers onto the carpet. He slurps at you eagerly, his fingers overstimulating you as you try to pull him away by his hair. "J-Jake, s'too much…" You trail off, not able to finish your sentence as he tongues at your clit with vigor, your thighs clamping shut around him. "One more, c'mon. One more, show me how sorry you are."
He hears you cry his name out softly, eyes looking up to see your head thrown back against the couch, chest moving up in shallow breaths. He kisses up your stomach, nipping as he moves up, his fingers never slowing their pace as he pushes your shirt up with his free hand, cool fingers palming at your chest. His fingers gently toy with your nipple, a soft groan from you as your thighs start to shake a bit harder.
"You're sorry, right?" He lifts himself to meet your face, your eyes glistening with unshed tears as you nod. "You'll call or text when you're going to be late, right, angel?" "Yes." You whisper as his lips ghost over yours. "Yes, what?" "Yes, sir." Your eyes flutter shut, and he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. "Open."
Your lips part with a pathetic whimper of his name, before he gracefully spits onto your tongue. His lips press to yours quickly, suppressing your moans as his fingers pick up their pace, feeling your release drip all over his hand and the couch. "I love you, okay? I just get worried." His mumbles are soft in comparison to the degrading words he'd said earlier, and you can't bring yourself to speak back as you nod against his lips. You kiss him back slowly, putting all your energy into it. "I'm sorry." "It's okay. Are you okay? Let me get a towel, okay?"
You shake your head, carding your fingers through his hair and holding him close. His fingers slip out of you, a dull ache between your thighs as he taps your knee. "Baby, c'mon." "Please." You murmur against his lips, and he feels a flustered smile taking over as he shakes his head. "Jay'll be back soon–"
"Oh, come on." Jay's voice rings through the air, and Jake looks up to see the guy covering his eyes as he runs into the kitchen. Jake's ears burn in embarrassment, only to feel you tug on the sleeve of his hoodie. "Please, Jakey." "Jay–" "You said you didn't care earlier. Why do you care now?" You pout, canting your hips against the tent in his shorts, watching his eyes flutter shut and his lip tucked between his teeth. "You're so–" "Can you guys please take it elsewhere?" Jay whines from the kitchen, and you snort. Jake sighs inwardly, awkwardly rooting around for your sweatpants before finding them just beneath him, entirely soaked.
"Fuck." He shoves the material up your legs anyway, before wrapping your legs around his waist, lifting you up carefully as Jay peeks out the kitchen. "I assume I'm in here alone for the rest of the night?" You smile at him over Jake's shoulder, "Unless you want to join."
Jake stops, looking over his shoulder at one of his oldest friends. Jay's face looks a bit conflicted, his brows furrowed but cheeks pink with embarrassment. Jake's throat clearing garners the older man's attention, a small smile on Jake's lips.
"You wouldn't say no to your best friend on his birthday, would you?"
BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#enhypen smut#enha fluff#jake x reader#jake smut#jake x you#jake sim x reader#jake imagine#jake fic#enhypen fic#enhypen series#jaeyun smut#enhypen hard hours#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen imagines#enhypen jake#jake#enha#sim jaeyun#enhypen scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfic#kvanity
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HIII Orion Pax nun anon. I was steaming I mean. stewing on that throughout celibacy week. but I wasn't sure how long of asks you can send. CLARIFYING on. my happy ending no scandal YIPPEE idea as it's. A little bit more. Fetishy than implied. So what if Orion was checked for virginity after each session (in a non-invasive way, like an external scanner, to cause the innocent little nuns the least discomfort, as well as the least curiosity about their arrays). So when the inspector sees that endlessly devout Orion has lost his seal somehow, they have to actually open him up to confirm, as well as to take samples to have evidence of who has done this (obviously they suspect Megatronus, since he was the only one SUPPOSED to be in the room, but on the off chance someone cornered the poor thing in his private booth, they have to check). But there's no evidence any other mech has been there. Nobody has EVER heard of a mech taking their own virginity before (possibly they are coded to not insert anything while the seal is in place), SO. This has GOT to be the will of Primus. And the only reason Primus would unseal one of His holy virgin brides, is if He wants His bride to carry. And since Primus unsealed his bride during the ritual with Megatronus.. I'm torn between Megs knowing damn well Primus had nothing to do with it, and just going along, or Orion confessing it to him While they're making sparkling(s), because Orion can't stand his gladiator looking so guilty and nervous when he should be OBLITERATING HIS. I mean. Bringing new life to Cybertron. Idk if there should be actual Plot plot but it would be Pretty Cool if Megatronus still went on to lead the decepticons, but this time with his beautiful and Primus gifted baby mama, attracting the faithful to the cause and legitimizing them in the eyes of the senate. ..and maybe Orion is so used to providing for a whole church, that JUST having his husband suckle isn't enough while he's carrying. So he pumps his titties and (with permission) nurtures the new recruits with nutritious milk. Decepticon Army except the soldiers, and later generals, call Orion Mother Superior and miss being young and scrawny enough to get milk outside of special occasions. ALSO maybe starscream is a little pervert who purposely pisses megatronus off to get beaten the fuck up, but y'know he's SO important to the cause that he needs to get better ASAP, and what better way than sparkling grade energon? Also he's allergic to every material in breast pumps, totally definitely don't worry about checking his medical records. Just let him latch on, he's already SOOO skinny he can't stand to lose more weight. Orion knows what he's doing, but also he IS SO SKINNY.. and attention seeking behavior is usually indicative of deeper problems, so maybe with enough nurturing and care, Starscream will be the best mech he can be. (megatronus voice) STOP SUCKING MY WIFES TITS IN MY BERTH YOU LITTLE HARLOT. ORION GET OVER HERE (Orion voice) no the patient needs mommy milkies to live
AJShgjhdjh the patient needs mommy milkies to live.... Starscream just keeps trying to sneak off into Megatron's and Orion's berth to get a bit of that sweet, sweet milk. I mean, they have Cybertron's mother aboard, you can't expect him to not take advantage of the fact.
Megatron hates how lack-luster and gentle Orion is with his soldiers at times, but it's for the greater good - the decepticons in this one are extremely loyal and organized, because they cannot risk upsetting mother superior...
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I cannot stop thinking about the kiss, yes, but the second kiss? When Laudna admits to thinking she’s a bad person, and Imogen refuted it and Laudna kisses her again before explaining everything that happened with Bor’Dor and Delilah???? What if it was a kiss she took out of fear Imogen would rebuke her for her actions? What if it was a kiss she took because she wasn’t sure she’d get another????
Imogen would never turn her away but what if Laudna truly didn’t comprehend that in the seconds before the second kiss? What if she thought it’d be their last??? What then???
#no. i am not normal about them#imodna#laudna#imogen temult#critical role spoilers#I will be stewing on this for the whole week#I should get back to writing fanfics#I am tempted to post my wips that I may not finish after this#tonight’s episode cured my depression#nothing bad will ever happen again#they kissed in the mf bread aisle#farmers market kiss#like that’s so gay of them and I love it#H O W D O I S L E E P ? ? ?#should I write this lol
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just
the way Normal sees a chance for kindness and someone to find solidarity with in the same creature that caused Hero's childhood to be irreparably marred by trauma and blood, but she doesn't even suggest Normal turn away from it and even offers to help if he really needs it lIKE
#dndads#dndads 2#normal oak#hero oak#fanart#kineticallyart#for me the Oak family hits this balance of being just enough drama to be spicy without dying if I sink my teeth into it#Like if I try to stew in the Stampler/Marlowe drama I will surely die#but the Oaks are like long lasting cinnamon gum#anyway sorry i feel like I vanished for a week and a half the last ep hit me real hard and I made a whole new oc world about it#trying to steer myself back to current projects instead of staying neck deep in that one
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i am so goddamn tired of every single fantasy story being about men. i am so goddamn tired of women being side characters and love interests and set dressing and an afterthought. i am so goddamn tired of women who are powerful but feminine. women who are "dressed to kill" and they are wearing eyeliner and a dress and heels. i am so goddamn tired of women always being healers and having water magic. i am so goddamn tired of men going on adventures and dying nobly. i am so goddamn tired of never being able to find a story about women that i can fall in love with. i am so goddamn tired of all fandom being about men.
#i have spent the past several weeks becoming increasingly upset about this#hannibal? men. lotr/the hobbit? men. stargate atlantis? men. dragon age inquistion? men. one piece? men.#the handful of superhero's i periodically read about? men. transformers? men. every goddamn anime i've ever loved? men.#the witcher? men. fantasy anachronism? men. literally every single fantasy adventurer series? men.#it's men and men and men and men and men and men and men and men#i just want ONE. one single goddamn story about women that is as well written and well made and as deep as everything else#i want ONE story about a women or women who are noble and honorable and fight in the face of impossible odds#and i don't want them to be pretty and small and feminine#make them hairy and fat and muscular and tall and wear steel toed boots and carry swords and fight monsters and sleep in the woods#and eat stew and carry heavy packs for long distances and be intelligent and sneaky and cowardly and fearful and brave#make them laugh and cry and scream and fall in love and write poetry and books and songs#make them wrestle and pick on each other and pull each others hair and sit around campfires#MAKE THEM GODDAMN PEOPLE#there are books out there about women going on adventures. they exist. i've read some#but they are not the majority and they never get big#and so many end up being poorly written or a romance or a combo of the two#i don't WANT to have to read genderbends just to read about women#i don't want to scroll tumblr and just see men on my dash#all i have ever wanted my whole life is to be a fantasy adventurer. and none of them. not ONE of them looks like me#i am tired of watching youtube critiques of fantasy shows/movies/stories and them just shitting on the women characters#i am just so tired of it
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I love that Calamity introduces us to the city of Avalir as like the epitome of a wonderful advanced civilization in an age of opulence and yet towards the end of episode one so much about what the city represents feels so hollow. Yes the city is still beautiful and far ahead of anything that we have seen in any of the three main campaigns but it’s really small things like they can’t grow real flowers in their gardens or the people experience weather for a very short period of their entire lives
Even the people themselves (at least those in higher society) have such extreme contempt for people who worship and champion the gods. I cringed during the entire scene when Purvan was present at the gala and he was turned into a spectacle of how quaint and backwards people who don’t live on Avalir are and was being mocked because of his status as Champion of the Raven Queen and no one even gave a shit if they were rude to this one man who was just doing his job because they wanted to have a dick measuring contest against a goddess who frankly has more important things to do than appease the whimsies of vapid mortals
Really it’s like what Brennan and Travis say at the beginning of the episode: it’s a beautiful day in Avalir but not on the inside
#guess who’s late to the party again? it’s me :]#I’ve been stewing in this for about two weeks almost and frankly I’m still irritated#in that whole time I didn’t even start episode two because I needed to go through all my thoughts and there are many#episode two would just open up another can of worms#I was really wowed by brennan and Matt’s worldbuilding and then bren and acting was so amazing I hated it#I have some thoughts on the raven queen tho and this series has made me like her out of spite so thanks brennan#exu calamity#critical role
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this week on I DONT THINK HE WOULD FUCKING DO THAT: house ramming a car into cuddys house while she has guests
#house spoilers#house s7#house md#WHERE THE FUCK DO WE GO FROM HERE#like unLESS the eriters are pulling another 'teehee vicadin hallucinations' on us#which je sus chri st .#HOW TF DO THEY PULL THIS SHIT BACK#we've got a whole nother season left so unless house is just one the run & wilson just joins him bc obviously hes gonna forgive him#like WH. believe me i can forgive fictional characters of A L O T but this shit just does not make any damn sense#ofc he's in a bad spot (<-UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY)#and he already maxed out his self destruction meter for the week. like thats his one coping mechanism spent.#but to RAM his car into cuddys whole ass dining room just cause he saw her with some and so he thought shed lied to him .#bro am i insane if i say thats too much even for house.of all damn people#like if this was a SERIES finale with stronger more obvious buildup and not just like.#½ a season of cuddy and house actually happy together and then ½ a season of whoops theyll never work out i guess#and instead something like s7 minus the CAR RAMMING and s8 is just house boiling and stewing and eventually he rams his car#with intention to kill and intnetion to die#then SURE i think that would be something i could see his character becoming#but this is so damn out of the blue.#house would not do impulse attempted murder no matter how fucked up he was on rage or pain or vicadin#m#live
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you to get to know your mutuals and followers
(hello dear friend, tell me of your latest little joys please 🧡)
thank youuu for sending this along 🌱 i had an excellent time thinking of these!
swimming 😌 being by nature an anxious little beast i love anything that will cushion Bad Sensory Things (loud, warm) in cool, smooth nothingness. huge fan. submerge me in cool water at any given moment i'm going to love it
the neighbourhood cats
sending & receiving mail! i love stationery and i love handwriting things, and it always feels wonderful to be reminded someone's thinking of you
against my better judgement, peanut butter?
the spot on top of the hill where i go to read :') it's a different kind of stunning in each season.
#explanatory lore: i've never liked peanut butter & didn't get the appeal even a little bit. texture bad. flavour ok at most. you get it#then a couple of weeks into the catholic veganism experiment i got peanut butter cravings out of nowhere and started cooking w it a lot#peanut noodles. groundnut stew. just spoonfuls up peanut butter as a meal#a whole new world opened up tbh. i'm glad whoever regulates what i do or don't enjoy made that call out of nowhere#thank you cat this has been delightful 🧡#asks#starkey
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I made a big pot of soup that's been simmering all day. And very soon I'll be eating a bowl of it and watching space movies with the family
#[static]#I made chicken soup since I had a whole chicken in the freezer#next week I'm going to make a stew to use up the last couple of pounds of chuck I have in there as well#homemade chicken soup is the easiest thing in the world to make#you just need a whole chicken and some water and some vegetables (and herbs)#it takes all day to make but that's just because you gotta leave the chicken in the pot for a few hours for itself to make the broth#otherwise all you're doing is just throwing it all in a pot and waiting there's really nothing more to it
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im so full of anger every day that it makes it hard to function. what do i do
#blah blah blah#i generally try to not tamp down my thoughts and feelings but at what point is it 'being open' and at what point is it 'stewing'#i miss doing therapy but my medicaid doesnt cover psychiatric care#and my workplace is likely to schedule me back down at 20h/week once our new manager begins here#im so mad . he starts next week but idk if that means sunday (tomorrow) or monday#and why was only next week's schedule posted. why not the whole month#i have another job trying to schedule me and that one is easier to move around than the main one#full timers work 30h or more#and ive been working at least 35 every week for the past month since weve not had a manager#i want healthcare#i know im in a privileged position where i can even try to demand these things#but i am worried about the nextg year bc i dont know what my hours will look like yet#so i can't reliably predict my income for the year to select my own plan through the state service??#luckily open enrollment is nov and dec and it's only the start of nov now#i don't have a third recommender for phd programs so i can't fully submit those applications yet#im just so full of anger i feel unable to move#and the anger is of course about the odd time trying to balance my two part time jobs and rent and health#but it's also about! gestures at the globe full of things happening!#i am immobilized by anger and it's putting a big strain on my relationship with my partner and my family!#i don't know that going back to therapy would fix these things but if i could at least have a person to talk to once a week#specifically dedicated to talking about Problems#idk#maybe it would lessen the amount im dumping on everyone else#it feels so privileged and selfish and evil of me to have desires and feeling like i am the world's center of evil isnt helping anyone#pursuing a phd wouldnt be helping anyone#being unable to move for how full of emotions i am isnt helping anyone#maybe i should just . remembers suicide jokes are bad etc. join the circus
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Those quick-jumps out of prison leave something to be desired... (P1 | P2 | P3) (Patreon)
#Doodles#Law Abiding Citizen#LAC#LAC Russ#Doug Peterson#It's funny 'cause the post that houses the tags that inspired this train of thought was not that long ago right?#But in real time it's been about a week and a half since I wrote those - which means I had a bit to stew on them before jumping in hehe#Russ in solitary appealed to me too much to just leave alone#Much like Doug to Russ! Lol#There's also something about drawing him in an orange uniform that's Something hmm ♪#I always feel like I set them down for just long enough to forget how to draw them lol#Well the idea wouldn't leave me alone no matter what so here they are anyhow! Haha#Honestly even to the point where I've considered doing a big write about it hm hmm ♫#But for as long as I'm toning them I'll be happy to show off my process doodles lol#They're too sparsely posted! Fix it!#It does feel indulgently dark but that also aligns with them and their whole Deal - they're rather flexible on that front :)#They can be silly and they can be serious! I am kind of ignoring timing-and-placement vis a vis who says what went lol#It's part of the indulgence hehe#Anyway! Lol#I feel like Russ would be pretty quickly shunted out of sight of everyone if any of his abilities stayed intact#''He keeps setting shit on fire - nobody can figure out how! He doesn't have a lighter!''#Bad behaviour! You're not going to be released quickly if you keep that up!#Just stick him in a box and don't worry about it anymore#Why doesn't Doug help him break out? Where's the fun if he starts as a criminal? Where's the challenge of corruption?#No it's just an excuse lol ♪ They both kinda just overlook Russ' time in prison in canon it would defeat the purpose to here#What new adventures will they get up to :3c
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The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I
#the good old 'I don't feel like doing anything including doing nothing and I want to go to bed but I know I'm not tired'#WEH.#I'm enjoying typing but I don't want to commit to practicing typing for real so I'm just making excuses to type more#I was looking at custom ESC keycaps because I was thinking about that whole community of ppl obsessed with keyboards and like I get it I#like the clicky clacking and keyboards can look so pretty but some of those key caps man wtf.#why would you want 3D transparent donald duck ESC key from temu what is wrong with you#saw a set of key caps that were little kittys with little kitty ears n I was like fuuuuuuuuuck#49.00 USD probably 100000 CAD+shipping goto helllll#I was thinking about what if I had like confetti keycaps and a custom kittycake esc key or like an actual little cake and matching desk mat#or even just a new cute mousepad cuz mine is old as fuck and I spilled vegetable cream stew on it once#and then I was thinking like sighhh and wouldn't it be cool to have arcade carpet on the stairs leading down to my basement hovel and#rainbow lights along the ceiling corners and what if I painting my bedroom like I wanted to do and sighhhhh#I haven't been wasting my money buying shit like that but I'm thinking about it again.#but the same thing stopping me from doing anything at all is stopping me from wasting my money which like that's good I guess???????#gosh I really like typing why did I stop doing daily typing practice#oh yea The Thing Stopping Me From Doing Anything At All#meow meowm meow meow meow#ok I really gotta tear myself away from my computer and brush my teethses and try going to bed#I already played minecraft earlier it's fine I didn't do NOTHING tonight it just feels like I did#and tomorrow is another day#and next week is a short work week thank fucking christ almighty#literally cuz its easter sunday and he was in that tomb but he escaped or whatever he did#thanks jeezy boy#you maybe shoulda milked it for like half a week at least#moved the big ass boulder like have an inch at a time#*pause for laughter*#that s from my new stand up comedy routine do uiuop like it djfskll;askjdgflksjdflksajdflksjdf the dsjalkjfolidasfgjoiweljsdalkjflskdjflak#meowww#I am the only one I know on here who 'talks' this fucking much about absolutely nothing#I do all this and my poor followers can click read more and spend time reading alllllll this garbage
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idk man idk!!!!!!!! having two jobs is so crazy one of them is like literally we hate you please die and then the other one rules and everyone is so nice to me all the time and makes me <3333. anyway guess which one pays me a livable wage lol.//.
#imjustsittinghere#uploads#refusing to be a negative nancy but holy shit i have been dealing with the most annoying situation in the fucking world at work#like i have to reply to an email but im literally dumbfounded th whole situation is so fucking dumb i cant believe it#anyway though love my little vintage store job#i work there four days a week now and its great : )#even just like. in almost 6 years of my one job i never went to the christmas party cause ick even my boss was like yeah it sucks#went to store jobs christmas party last weekend got drunk and sang karaoke and i dont even feel that stupid about it lol#simply wish i could get paid like a good amount so i could just work there and not have to sweat about money#might do it anyway though other job making me so > : |#ok refusing to stew about it its christmas holiday season#going to my moms to bake cookies tomorrow <3 then im off saturday maybe ill have a nice little day n enjoy myself
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ignore me i'm ranting
something that has always bugged me is that when i talk about how i manage my diabetes or take a moment to check my blood sugar to see if there is anything i need to adjust, people have often expressed concern that i am obsessing over it in an unhealthy way which....?????
like it's awesome that you do not have to think about this sort of thing in your daily life but please shut the fuck up about things you do not understand because i have to control this. i do not have a choice. and i actually don't give a shit that it makes you uncomfortable that i have to constantly focus on my health. it literally has nothing to do with you, so your input is neither warranted nor is it wanted (yes, even if it is well-meaning. if i want your opinion, i'll ask for it).
another thing people often do: when i politely refuse a baked good or ice cream or whatever they will comment that life is too short to not enjoy these foods. brother, my life would be a hell of a lot shorter if i indulged in these things without serious consideration! and you know what, this wouldn't bother me so much if people weren't constantly trying to force me to receive gifts of food (when they know i have health-related dietary restrictions) which they insist upon because THEY want me to receive their gift of food.
i can appreciate kind-hearted consideration and wanting to give a person a gift to celebrate them, but if the gift-giving/consideration is all wrapped up in your own feelings then you probably really aren't doing that for anyone but yourself. which is honestly fine, but don't make that my problem. i'm not going to force myself to fuck my health just so you can feel good, and you should probably respect that because i know better than you do about my own health.
it's not like i am asking people to tiptoe around me or change their whole life. i am literally just asking them to mind their business and take no for an answer.
#been stewing on this for a couple weeks#some people do respond well when i politely explain that what looks like anxiety-ridden obsession to them is just me keeping an eye on what#i have to keep an eye on#like sure obsessing over something you can't control is unhealthy and i get that they are approaching it from that perspective#but i HAVE to control this#i am not obsessing#i am focusing#please learn to tell the difference because it is not cool to tell me that focusing on my health is unhealthy#and honestly if they approached it as “hey are you okay?” rather than “you are harming yourself by doing something that i don't understand”#i wouldn't be annoyed by it#it's just the whole coming at me like you understand the whole picture when all you understand is your own perspective thing#that drives me nuts#you're not an authority on other people's health#the sooner you understand that the better#rant////
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Neverafter is absolutely eating my entire soul and has just fully reawakened my passion for fairy tales and so now im actually drawing and writing again to make a Neverafter OC based on Bluebeard’s wife
#shhh sharkie#i saw a post circulating around that was like what story would you base your Neverafter OC on#and the first one that sprung into my head was Bluebeard cause it’s such a fucking cool tale type#and there was a bit of me being like ‘well i could come up with something more original or cool’#i literally took all of my language arts classes in college about fairy tales and childrens literature#it’s my second non-work-related hyperfixation#i love fairy tales and mythology and stories and how that’s all so connected to history and humanity as a whole#but anyway i stewed on a few ideas cause i was like ‘oh you could do something else like this or that’#but i’m just. really compelled by the idea of Bluebeard’s wife after the story#that she’s haunted by a) Bluebeard himself b) the other murdered wives or c) both#and i decided fuck it im leaning into it#drawing and writing for the first time in a while i love it#i’ve been so uninspired for a long time rn especially for drawing#just needed the horror fantasy season to really throw me back in#i’ve watched the first episode and it’s adventuring party twice now and i’m probably gonna watch it again before next week’s ep#*screams in fairy tale*
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put on tshirt after doing yardwork (cuz i got hot) and my mom immediately commented "look at YOU in bArE aRmS"
so i put on my long shirt again
#me and my mom#no matter how upset i get or tell her to keep her comments to herself... she won't#i'll knit a whole-ass fucking sweater and she'll immediately say 'it's too short'#thank u for invalidating every fucking thing i do and/or make#i made beef stew and it actually turned out good but all she could say was 'the house smells like onions.'#and then i'll see a job listing for something i don't have experience with/can't do and she'll get mad at me and aggressively#tell me 'you can do anything! library work translates to (job field that library work doesn't translate to)'#and it's just so frustrating bc she obviously has this idea of me in her head and i just don't match up#the whiplash from the 'you are so smart and you can do anything!' abt hypothetical things to the 'it's too short' abt things i actually do#'i don't like the color' 'i don't like the neckline' 'i don't wear wool' (it's not a sweater i made for anyone but me)#'oh look at you wEaRiNg ShOrTs' 'oh look at you wEaRiNg a sKiRt'#and danny got fat and she keeps commenting on it and all i can assume is that it's ALSO a comment on my putting on weight#but then we eat at fucking Popeye's for lunch twice a week#and no matter how much i say 'please stop making me eat junk food' we keep going#she doesn't leave the house on her own. she won't let me leave the house on my own#i had more freedom as a 16yo than i do now#wonder why i'm so FUCKING miserable and depressed all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i left a decent-paying job! for nothing!! i'm just sitting here and rotting and the library system here sucks and they STILL haven't#gotten back to me even though i applied in FUCKING DECEMBER#she can't finish a meal anywhere so anywhere we go i have to eat half of her lunch. so it's not stuff i would pick anyway#how do you even apply for jobs and put anything in your 'skills' when you're so fucking miserable you wish you were dead
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