#I will be failing everything
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getting 1 test under 90% in first year to not studying for state examinations that start in 2 weeks pipeline is so real
#I will be failing everything#except maths#got a distinction in my mocks 🤩#help me#I need to lock in#jc#lc#junior cert#junior cycle#leaving cert#ireland
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They have since left four premature babies to decompose on their beds. They have since kidnapped, stripped, tortured civilians and tried to frame them as Hamas fighters for their propaganda. They have since shot people at refugee camps execution style. They have since targeted academics and poets and directors. They have since killed 86 journalists. Still no ceasefire.
psa: i know that many of us did NOT doubt this for a second, neither did i. this is targeted at the people who educated themselves for the first time about this genocide and discovered the absolute horrific things that Israel is capable of doing to Palestinians, with the unwavering support of its allies.
#i rem clearly that video of the first hospital that was bombed#how israel first denied it and said that it was a failed hamas rocket#then it said it attacked the hospital because hamas was hiding in there#and i rem thinking that this would get every world leader outraged#that they would do everything to stop this genocide#that was too many weeks ago#nothing has changed#this should terrify us all#this could have been us in that hospital#in that house in that refugee camp in that ambulance in that street#nowhere is safe in Palestine#nowhere#free palestine#palestine#free gaza#gaza
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
#fanfic#ao3#archive of our own#fandom things#tumblr things#i may have said this at some point#i'm sure i have#but whatever - just in case#i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics#but just if anyone is so inclined that's all#ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog#i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting#but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen#not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy#at least of fics bc i save everything#not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about#that i've made or done and only posted here#anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today#i have plans to stare into the void now
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#everything from hot wheels to uno#i actually hate when women have fun.#rooting for women to fail with this one
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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so rhaenyra starts s3 with a god complex, believing herself to be the prince that was promised from aegon the conqueror's dream... but hugh and ulf will betray her, mysaria will misunderstand her, coryls will undermine her, bartimos will underestimate her, daemon will abandon her, her people will turn against her and burn her castle and kill her dragon. and when everyone who accepted rhaenyra as queen rejects her, the only person left to love rhaenyra will be alicent, who never loved rhaenyra as queen but rhaenyra as a person ("she was the vision that sustained him [...] it was his love for her that kept him resolute in his choice of heir."). alicent, who abandoned her gods and duty to go to rhaenyra on dragonstone and appeal to the person beneath the crown ("i cast myself on the mercy of a friend who once loved me."). alicent, who's made a god of rhaenyra, not as queen, but as the girl she read with beneath the godswood ("come with me.").
#and rhaenyra won't accept it at first#she'll refuse to believe that she was wrong and that the prophecy wasn't about her because she's lost so much#and i don't know how she will eventually come to the realization that she isn't the prince who was promised#but i think it will be when she's forced to sell her crown and make an attempt at escape (maybe with alicent)#and so ultimately#rhaenyra's love for alicent was her downfall#because a lot of the grievances her council has will be directly/indirectly related to rhaenyra protecting alicent#and rhaenyra's love for alicent keeping her grounded to her humanity while the world around her tries to turn her into an unfeeling queen#and so the love works against the system#because the love cannot exist within the system without everything falling apart#so by taking alicent prisoner rhaenyra is dooming herself to fail at being queen#because in that moment rhaenyra - like alicent in 2x08 - chooses love over duty#hotd#alicent hightower#rhaenicent#hotd spoilers#rhaenyra targaryen#house of the dragon
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People honestly portray Tuvok as far too "rolling his eyes, reluctantly going along with Janeway's silly little shenanigans" - he's literally so serious about being right there with her on every decision she makes. Janeway's like "I'm going to stay behind if the ship blows up" and Tuvok's like "I'm staying with you." Janeway's like "I'm going to deliver every member of the Equinox crew into the jaws of death via an alien revenge massacre" and Tuvok protests a grand total of one time before being fully on the bridge assisting her. He was the only one with her when she made the decision to honor the caretaker's wishes and save the Ocampa, dooming them all. He was willing to get court marshalled in order to fulfill a wish she couldn't grant by her own hand: Get them home [no matter what happens to me] <- wherein 'me' is Tuvok. This was the same wish that spurred him forward when he had to leave her on that planet and everyone left thought him cold for trying to fulfill it without her when in his mind it was akin to a dying wish, the last thing she'd ever express to him: Get them home [no matter what happens to me.] <- wherein 'me' is Janeway. He told Seven that the golden rule to follow is that the captain is "ALWAYS RIGHT" <- (His ACTUAL words) and when Seven asks if the captain should be followed even if someone KNOWS she's wrong he says "Perhaps." This man is perhaps the most ride or die dude in the universe about Janeway. Despite her labeling him her 'moral compass' he is by NO means impartial or unbiased. He'd defend her to his last breath. He canonically makes detailed psychological observations about her and has for years. He accounts for her luck when calculating the success of certain plans. It's implied in 'Twisted' that Janeway typically listens to Tuvok's suggestions and follows them nearly without fail - to the point that he's surprised and obviously irritated when Chakotay doesn't. Despite this they've been inside one another's quarters so infrequently that Tuvok can remember each instance. They call each other "Captain" and "Mr. Tuvok" even though they've known each other for twenty years. There's something wrong with them.
#star trek voyager#TUVOK....TUVOOOOK. HEY. HEEEEY.#What the HELL did you mean by 'Remember this guideline: The Captain is Always Right.'#<- SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HIM FR WHAT'S UP WITH HIM#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok#WHAT are they DOOOIING <3<3#what does 'right' mean in this context since he confirms it does NOT mean 'correct' !!!!!! TUVOK!!!!! PICK UP THE PHONE!!!#the flipside to this is that Tuvok can do almost anything and Janeway's like 'continue on my dear old friend I trust you<3'#It's implied in 'Twisted' that Janeway listens to his suggestions nearly without fail and he's NOT happy that Chakotay doesn't do the same#which IS!!!!!!! INSANE!!!#Actually I'm adding this to the post.#Janeway: This man is my most trusted advisor.#Tuvok: Everything the captain says is correct at the end of the day. Even if it's wrong - no it isn't.#<- You are Chakotay and your hell has just begun#Janeway#Tuvok/Janeway#Janeway/Tuvok#what are they doiiiiing#with Spock & Kirk I know it's because they're in love with each other. What are Tuvok & Janeway DOOIIING
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Does Chloe tone down her direct bullying/harassment of Marinette after that day to just the dead mom jokes out of guilt, or is it more that Marinette now being homeschooled means Chloe just lost access? Also, does Lila try the whole lying/sabotaging thing on Marinette and just fail or does Marinette just not care?
Lila has no reason to sabotage Marinette because Marinette isn't threatening her little empire she wants to build. In fact, she really wants Marinette on her side BECAUSE she's not apart of the school, so she doesn't need to keep up an elaborate web of lies! She can just try to befriend a talented girl who makes AMAZING food and try to get freebies~
meanwhile, with Chloe, things got really complicated after the pool incident...
Tom was not in the mood to put up with this crap.
#replies#my art#dad villain au#DO NOT... come at me about france laws I tried to look up jurisdiction when it came to minors in criminal matters#and everything I found was unhelpful#so for the sake of brevity just know that Chloe almost had a record from this event and the Mayor had to buy Tom out and promise a change#in chloe's behavior#also. I am sorry this italian is off google translate#I havent kept up with my italian duolingo#my friend in italy is going to be so pissed at me RIP my moses ive failed you
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Tis but a flesh wound!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#jin guangyao#lan xichen#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#JGY's little shawl waits for him at the front entrance. It's for him to wear in the cloud recesses because he gets cold easy.#Lan Xichen personally hand knit it for him. This is canon within this universe now.#JGY is failing his little chess game so bad in this scene. He walks up and cutely pouts at LXC to pwease help him in his schemes#And when LXC rightly points out the holes in his reasoning he gets his back up!#But *dude* how the hell are you going to explain how WWX has been doing all these crazy things when the guy was Passed Out.#LXC can even attest to it. Back to JGY holding the idiot ball here; why make a point to press about WWX staying at CR#And not take into account the fact the lan brothers have an incredibly tight bond?#Why was he even *attempting* to drive a wedge between them?#Honestly I know we love to call JGY a schemer but he was so sloppy at so many points. Everything post secret room reveal-#has been a messy scramble to cover up his past transgressions. He is struggling to keep things under control!#He currently is staying in the public favour solely on the quality of his melancholic wet eyes.#You dare accuse jin guangyao of murder? When he's so sopping wet? When he whimpers and whines without a little treat?#To bad he's shown his teeth! Sorry you aren't old enough for dentures and can't put those teeth right back in your mouth.
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Time traveler: *moves a chair*
The timeline:
Textless version:
#This is a Chell and Stanley switch btw#in case I butchered their characters so much they're unrecognizable#SO FOR SOME FUCKING REASON#EVERYTHING WAS AGAINST ME POSTING THIS TO TUMBLR EVEN THO I MADE IT WEEKS AGO#like it ALWAYS fails to upload until now#portal#portal 2#portal chell#chell#stanley#the stanley parable#the narrator#the narrator stanley parable#GLaDOS#Fanart#ALSO I SWEAR THIS ISN'T AI ART I JUST SUCK AT DRAWING HANDS IGNORE STANLEY'S HAND#My art
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god, i wish i knew you back when i was a kid / but when you stare into me now, it feels like i did
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#jjk leaks#fr anon thank u fr the request i am once again emo thinking abt them#n denial fv....god end me put me out of my misery#itfs context makes the lyrics more . healing n hopeful as opposed to wistful and lonely :'<#'everything around me looks so different now / yet everything about me wants to show you around'#PLS PLS PSLPSSLPS ILL CRY ILL DO ITTTTT#anyway emo hours aside original plan was striped shirt yuuji but i gave up smile#put him in white t shirt jail yet again sighs i feel like i do tht with him so often.....#like kid megu that's just his canon outfit but yuuji i wanted 2 get a bit more creative. task failed :(#hes got mismatched socks n scuffed knees but thats abt it#i often think abt how in official art they always put gojo in a gd white t shirt and i go smh but then here i go#pot kettle etc etc#megumi voice whatever!!!!! white tshirt in sunlight Looks Good sue me#pls enjoy them :'> anon i hope i delivered
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My favorite failure duo drawn in the most lazy way possible
#They're interacting before Jayce went to ruin everything#art#fanart#drawing#sketch#arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#mild spoilers actually#this is based off the line in LoL where she says “you've clearly seen better days pretty boy” I feel like I got robbed of this interaction#arcane jayce#arcane vi#I love them I wish they interacted more I needed to see them fail harder#bookstreet#as they say
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"Are the Robins child soldiers" It depends. If the story is super serious and into exploring complex morality and grounded from reality's standards, then yes. If the story is lighthearted, made for children, fluff, etc., then no. If it's somewhere in the middle, it might depend.
If an author wants to write a story seriously delving into the fucked up-ness of children fighting criminals, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a fun story about villains and heroes featuring Robin in a world where that's not an issue, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a serious story but not apply IRL-logic to Robin, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#robin#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#idk if i articulate it perfectly here but like... yall#yall.#when im watching lego: batman im not thinking of how horrific and irresponsible it is to take dick on the mission#like it is a movie for children i am there to have fun. in that moment i don't careee#but if i'm reading a fic that's dwelving deep into like jason todd's psyche and taking itself seriously w real-life accurate#psychology stuff then yeah i'm fine with also exploring how directly interfering with violent crime at such a young age might#actually affect a person's development#but like sometimes it's not that deep and robin's out there solving murders and kicking two-face's ass n havin fun doin it#just. there is nuance depending on the story being told#sometimes i'm in the mood for serious exploration of bruce's failings as a parent. sometimes i wanna read him bonding with his kids and#everything is fine.#you can have both!!!
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The spirit of Amity Park and Lady Gotham
Amity was a strong spirit. stronger than any city her size or age had any right to be, but she was, and she was going to make it matter.
Gotham was old, she was strong but sick and cursed so she couldn't do much but make her shadows that much darker, enough to be unseen, make her sounds that much louder enough to be unheard, guide the debris or a stray bullet a little to the left so that it would only graze not kill. even sick and hurt she was stubborn and she would make it matter.
Amity was younger than Gotham, most were, but Gotham was impressed with her. just like her Protector Amity was way too strong and way too young and very ambitious and protective of Hers.
they had that in common, Gotham was protective, Possesive. Her people were hers and hers only if they weren't Amity's first she couldn't take them, she would.
Amity was like her people, she was adaptive, sceptical but friendly, hard to gain trust from but loyal if you did. Amity was like her Protectors, she was determined and protective, she was fun but serious.
Gotham was like her people, she was a survivor, untrusting and brash, stubborn but flexible. Gotham was like her Bats, she was curious but secretive, protective to the point of possesivnes, calculated but quippy.
Amity was young and her form reflected that, she looked like a pre-teen like most her Protectors, her wheat blonde hair in star clipped twin-tails, a replica of the Ops Centre for a hat, eyes bright green and glowing freckles dusting her cheeks. her clothes were bright like her houses, always having funny accents and accessories and teared holes, her nails were painted but always chipped.
her laughter was loud with explosions and honking of cars and her voice was chipper and cracking.
Gotham was mature and so was her form, her hair black, iridescent and dripping like an oil spill, her face sickly pale(or ashen) and eyes solid yellow with bat shaped pupils (they were blood red before, just like her lips are) she is always dressed in black, blending with her shadows, clothes elegant but ripped and dirty, bloody pearls on her neck, black claws dripping oil like her hair, breath fogging with smog.
her laughter had clanking of weapons and banging of shots, her voice was raspy and strangled.
Amity looked up to Gotham, her determination and stubborn persistence to protect Hers, her funny quips and sarcastic comments.
They weren't too far by city spirit standards, they were on the same continent after all. And Amity could be that much farther, that much closer, just on the other side of the veil. Amity was in the Realms once, she knew the way back.
#dpxdc#danny phantom#amity park#Amity Park City Spirit#City Spirits#Lady Gotham#i need a title for Amity#we have lady gotham who's this little shit#liminal amity park#feel free to use#they are both very protective and somewhat possessive just amity is a little more easy going#you can take amity parkers out of amity but you can't take amity out of amity parkers#Lady gotham tried she failed#lady gotham is amity park's friend slash mentor#i imagine them going to fancy ghost parties together and gossiping#gotham may have a rule of not my circus not my monkeys but she is curious like her bats she needs to know everything#ghost king danny optional#i love this#dc x dp
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i know spn hates good writing and also sam, but the dumpster fire of s4 really could have been salvaged if they'd just played ruby and castiel straight
by which i mean
ruby should have been one of the good guys (honestly it feels like the writers changed their minds last second regarding her anyway)
castiel should have been the villain (which, let's be clear, he totally was)
the point of this is that it would force dean to confront his own bullshit and maybe figure himself out, which not only would have been good television but would have been satisfying to me, personally
sam's problem is that he wants there to be a good equal to every evil. that he believes goodness exists even where it doesn't, that he always wants to give things a chance, that he always has hope. they sound like good traits, up until they're used against him. they reach the station of angels are bad eventually, but it should have been more immediate and visceral, that there is no greater good here. sam should have had this knocked out of him, which would have shattered him in way, to lose this thing he's depended on his whole life, but it really would have hammered home that it's choices that really do matter, not circumstances
dean's problem is always that he sees monsters as monsters with no grey area, that sam always has to play his moral center the second anything becomes complicated. then he goes to hell, breaks, tortures innocents, and an angel yanks him out and tells him that he's a righteous man
dean desperately desperately wants this to be true
because it's sam who they had to look out for, sam who was destined to go darkside, sam with the demon blood
dean doesn't have that excuse
he's just a human man with a hunger for violence who never learned to curb his appetite. who was instead pushed to gorging himself on it, who is left broken and desperate and angry by what he did to save himself. his whole life, his whole self perception for thirty years, was about protecting innocents. then he betrays that in hell. do you think he kept count? how many innocents he destroyed against how many he saved? the day it equaled out, do you think he wished he could weep?
dean is so unbelievably messed up by hell. not the torture he endured, that's barely a blip, but the torture he inflicted is what haunts him
so he needs for sam to be the bad guy
he's using his powers, he's hanging out with demons, he's drinking demon blood. he's the monster. he's inhuman
(he's using his powers and hanging out with demons and drinking demon blood and still he's doing less harm than dean, still he's trying to save people. dean can't accept this, because he can't be the rotten one. he'll forgive sam anything, but never himself, so it has to be sam. because he can fix sam, he'll always love his brother, so if he's evil there's stil a path forward there. but if it's dean? if he's the one going evil? sam's left him before. why would he stay now? if dean is the one going darkside then he loses everything. himself. his brother. it has to be sam)
dean is projecting all his own shit onto sam because he can't deal with any of it, which is why he treats sam like shit, why he treats him in a way that he's never treated him before. it's how he treats himself. and sam has no idea what to do with this, is left reeling and hurt and broken himself by dean doing this to him. sam never thought dean would leave him to die in the panic room, because dean wouldn't, not the dean he's known his whole life, not the dean that loves him. not alone.
but dean would do that to himself. and since sam is his proxy for himself, it's what he does to sam, but sam doesn't know that so all he feels is the weight of betrayal and grief and rage
isn't it funny, almost? the demons brought sam back just as he was, exactly the same. the angels bring back dean but he's not the same. dean comes back wrong, comes back different. but no one wants to say that. to deal with it
having ruby be evil and castiel venerated justifies all of dean's spiraling, all of his punishment. he was right all along, sam was the problem, don't you see?
boring
ruby stays loyal to sam, a demon who chooses something different, who chooses the boy with the demon blood because there's something compelling about sam winchester, as tempting as the apple before eve, and ruby didn't get where she is by knowing better
(remember when sam pulled all the psychic kids together, acted as leader, and resisted azazel? there is a leader in sam, a compassion in him, that azazel had to cheat in order to beat. and if ruby can show him how to win against demons then-)
castiel let sam out of the panic room. he's following orders, because that's his job, and damn the consequences. this should have been seen as the act of betrayal and evil that it was, castiel proving he was never really on their side at all, never on the side of preventing harm. it also would have made his redemption arc mean something, it would have given castiel a lot more to work with if they'd had to really bring him back over
ruby realizes too late what killing lilith means. tries to stop sam, but now that she's here it's too late, kill or be killed. sam accepts that, is willing to die rather than start the apocalypse. but then dean is there, and he can't watch his brother die again, he just can't. so he kills lilith to save dean, when he would have been willing to die himself
ruby gets them out of there. they discover what castiel did, that he pushed forward the apocalypse rather than prevented it
this breaks dean. he finally snaps, but it's good, because everything he'd used to shore himself up before had been terrible and rotted and corrosive
a righteous man is not a good man. dean is forced to confront everything he's done in hell, and after he'd gotten back, everything he put sam through, how he left him in that panic room and almost killed him, how he's treated him for the past year. how it was a demon who tried to help in the end and an angel that damned them
and how sam saved him anyway, damn the consequences
we should have returned to what the show had been building up to from the beginning - that sam loves his brother enough to do terrible things and dean has no idea how to deal with that
so we've got sam and dean on the run with ruby, castiel's slower and much juicier redemption arc, and dean having to pick up the pieces of himself while sam tries to figure out how he gets them out this mess. and sam's guilt is justified here, his aching sense of responsibility, because this time he kills lilith knowing it'll free lucifer. he makes that choice, for dean. and he's determined to fix it
just. demon blood tainted sam and turncoat ruby trying to save the world. the angels trying to end it. all while dean finally accepts the crushing guilt of what he's done and starts to work through it, starts to work on becoming the brother sam lost, on once more being the steady thing sam can hold onto no matter what it takes, because sam choosing him reminds him of something he'd told himself he forgot
he doesn't want to be a righteous man, a torturer, a demon, a victim, a martyr
he just wants to be sam's brother. the one he looks up to, depends on, loves
he wants what he's always wanted
to feel worthy of his little brother's affection
#i have a lot of feelings about how s4 tried and failed to make everything sam's fault#sorry you've spent so long establishing the inherent goodness of this character that now the whole 'maybe he's evil' thing is just cringey#also dean i'm so sorry with what they did to you#you deserved better#supernatural
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toji hates going to the dentist. he never says it out loud but it's more than obvious with the way he keeps moving around in his seat when you two wait for your turns – he taps his foot, he fidgets with his fingers, he massages his own shoulder. his mossy green eyes keep flicking all over the place, his keen ears focusing in on the sounds that come from behind the door. he really hates being here.
with a quiet sigh toji lets his head fall back against the wall, his eyes closing as he rubs circles into his palm with his thumb. his heart is beating way faster than usual and he fucking hates it – he's a grown man and he's getting nervous over a damn dentist. it's embarrassing.
but when he feels a hand on his knee and another one on his jaw, gently pulling him from his mind, he feels safe once more. his gaze meets yours and the reassurance he finds there makes his heart stutter. for a moment, toji forgets all about the fears that were tormenting him.
no words needed – you don't ask anything, you don't say anything. your touch is enough, your love so grounding that it has toji wondering whether you might be a real angel sent from heaven just for him. it's hard to believe you're real, that you're really there with him but like always, you seem to read him like a book – leaning forward, you keep your hand on his jaw and press your lips against the corners of his scarred ones.
his eyes fall shut again as another sigh spills from him. but it's a relieved one this time, something almost entirely different from the one he let out a minute ago. you save him every day, he really hopes you know it. you hold him like nothing else, your loving hands guarding him from things he would never even want to acknowledge.
he promises to himself that he'll do right by you always and forever, that he'll learn the words and the ways he needs, to show you how much he appreciates you. how much he cares for you. how much he loves you.
years ago, toji would've made fun of himself for being such a sap, but he's different now. you've changed him. he's sitting, waiting for his turn at the dentist with his beloved with the next plans being going grocery shopping and then lazing out on the couch while watching a rerun of a favourite show of yours. together.
he will survive this trip, no matter what it takes. the dentist will not kill him – he has things to live for. he has you to live for.
#mickey stop turning everything overly sappy challange failed SOOOOOOOO MISERABLYYY#anyway#i love himm:333333333333#toji#mickey is daydreaming#toji x reader#toji fluff
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