#I was really worried about doing it because it is just a repeat of something I had already written
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After a brutal fight, you scream at Sevika, accusing her of caring more about Silco than she ever did about you, and she agrees and calls you a distraction.
when you leave she regrets it but she’s to late
my god i love that. thanks for the prompt!
the cut that always bleeds
content warning(s): wives fighting 😔
"i don't love you anymore, a pretty line that i adore five words that i've heard before 'cause you keep me on a rope and tied a noose around my throat you're gone, then back at my door"
~~~
It had finally happened.
You’re sure of it, and it makes you go cold all over.
Your head is heavy from lack of sleep, but you can’t even stand the thought of lying down. Your heart’s pounding something awful in your chest, as if you’re waiting for the knock that would come any second, bringing the brutal news that you had lost your wife for good.
Sevika had promised you there was no external business tonight. She had promised that she would come directly home after the Chem-baron assembly, she had given her solemn word.
So either she was really dead, or—
The door swings open, hard, so that a thin rain of plaster and dust showers onto the floor. You see Sevika’s tall figure in the doorway.
You stand up.
“Shit,” Sevika mutters. “You spooked me. Why aren’t you asleep?”
Your voice is dangerously low. “Where have you been?”
Sighing heavily, Sevika takes off her cloak and throws it carelessly over the chair. “Silco needed me to take care of some loons trying to steal supplies near the harbor.” Without meeting your eye, she goes to the icebox and takes out a bottle of beer. “Then there was a misunderstanding with some fool merchant about a shipment for Topside—”
“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
Sevika looks at you over the bottle. “What?”
“What,” you echo. “Very nice. What. Because you can run around all day, all night at Silco’s beck and call without a care in the world, and I can just sit here worrying myself sick, right?”
“Baby, don’t start. I’m not in the mood.”
“Don’t baby me.” You slam your fist against the table, causing the empty glasses to jump.
Sevika just looks at you. Her cool silence makes you angrier than any insult could have done.
“I must mean nothing to you, don’t I?” You yell. “Is it too much to fucking ask that you send a message in advance, telling me you’ll be late?”
Sevika tips the bottle back, draining the whole thing in one sip. Then she calmly set it down on the table.
“You think I like sitting up here alone until the fucking morning, not knowing whether you’re alive or dead? If I matter less to you than a fuckin’ object, what are you keeping me around for? You might as well save us both the trouble and stop off at Babette’s every night after work.”
“You’re right, maybe I should.”
A deathlike silence falls.
You stare at her, shaking slightly, as her words sink through the air between you like stones in deep water.
Sevika must have seen the way your face changed, the shock in your eyes, and she must have realized the weight of what she just said, because she tries to backtrack. But the damage is done.
“This isn’t a relationship,” you say quietly. “The relationship you’re in, the one you’re fucking devoted to, is with that man in the office above the Last Drop. Just say so.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Fuck you!” You scream.
Sevika stands quickly, her eyes stony with anger. “What did you expect, then?” she says harshly. “Tell me. What’d you expect—honeymooning around the riverside, flying off to Noxus, for Janna’s sake? We’re at the brink of war.”
“Is that what you think? What am I, your fucking toy bride?”
“You’re not a toy,” she snaps. “You’re a distraction.”
A moment passes before you repeat, “a distraction.”
She glares at you. “Silco was right,” she says. “This whole thing—you—it was all just holding me back.”
The slap rings through the empty room.
Sevika stands unmoving, like she’s carved from stone. You watch her, eyes burning, palm stinging, waiting for a reaction, waiting for her to hit you back, yell at you, curse you out—anything. Anything to show that she felt something.
But she doesn’t say a word.
You shake your head, slowly. “You’re a jackass.”
Still no answer.
You turn on your heel and storm into the bedroom you shared with Sevika. You rip your few spare pieces of clothing off the hooks on the walls and roll them violently into a bundle, then stride back into the front room and yank open the door. Sevika is still standing in the same place, staring at the floor as if holding a silent argument with the floorboards.
Before you leave, you turn and say, “Sevika.”
She looks at you.
“You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
The door slams behind you.
~~~
Sevika listens to the dust settle. She stands in the dark room, feeling strange and vaguely angry. Suddenly she lets out a yell and grabs the empty beer bottle and hurls it against the wall. It shatters upon impact, the shards dancing across the floor.
Sevika stands, unsteady on her feet, swaying slightly. She grabs the back of a chair, ready to break it as well, then changes her mind and goes to take out another bottle of liquor.
Soon the world is comfortably fuzzy and nothing was ever real, your voice fades pleasantly into the back of her head like the thin buzz of electricity...
~~~
Sevika wakes up among glass shards and splintered wood. Her head throbs like it’s ready to split open. She sits up with a groan, blinking in the daylight seeping through the small window. What time was it? Why was she sleeping on the floor? Why hadn’t you woken her up?
There had been this strange, funny dream she had…this dream where you were real mad at her…she should tell you.
Then she sees the open door of the bedroom, and the empty bed beyond it. Then she remembers—the fight, your anger, the sharp sting of your hand against her cheek. “No,” she mumbles to herself. She gets to her feet clumsily, staggering. “No.”
Stupidly she goes into the bedroom, as if you might be hiding somewhere in the corner or beneath the bed. She sees the empty hooks on the wall. She walks back out and opens the front door, looking up and down the apartment hall. She calls out your name in a hoarse voice.
But you’re not there.
#i have been awake for 48 hrs im about to pass out#apologies if this is a bit incoherent lol#sevika x reader#sevika#sevika arcane#sevika angst#sevika x you#sevika x female reader#song: the cut that always bleeds by conan gray
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Italian, I love pizza and pasta
I'm really excited for the legend of ochi!! also Damien chazelle apparently has a new film out this year which i cannot wait for
obviously taylor swift
again, taylor swift lmao
I don't really have one favourite, but I like young adult /childrens, fantasy and adventure. also anything to do with Greek mythology
seven by (you guessed it) taylor swift
I don't wanna keep repeating myself so I'm gonna say Aubrey plaza for this one because I just finished watching agatha all along and um. yeah
ugh I really like both but probably summer because I love being outside
there have been some terrible ones but morbius immediately springs to mind, what the fuck was that
I usually go for pink or blue :)
my questions!! I'm gonna go for really weird ones lmao
what weird food combinations do you really enjoy?
what food have you never eaten but would really like to try?
what's something you really regret paying for?
what would a world populated by clones of you be like?
do you think that aliens exist?
what are you currently worried about?
where are some unusual places you've been?
where do you get your news?
what movie can you watch over and over without ever getting tired of?
when you are old, what do you think children will ask you to tell stories about?
@arboreal-stop @mikewhoreler @theannoyeddragon82 @impossiblekittydelusion @synnodium @camcamino @mqstermindswift @finleyforevermore @blueandyellow7 @coco6420
Ten questions to ask a mutual
Instructions: prev asks ten questions and you answer them, then ask ten new ones and tag ten people to keep the chain going! I’ll go first
What is the weirdest thing you’ve eaten? (For me it’s the time I accidentally drank ants)
do you like purple or green more? (For me it’s a 50/50 I love them both)
what is your favorite two color color combo? (For me it’s purple and gold)
are you a cat or dog person? (Dogs 100%)
what is your favorite painting (Miranda by John William Waterhouse)
Mountains or beaches? (Mountains)
what’s your favorite dessert? (Lemon bars)
are you right or left handed? (Right but I used to be left handed)
salty or sweet? (Sweet)
summer or winter? (Winter)
I’m tagging 11 people but it’s whatever
@wra1th-k1ng
@bladevoyager
@tragedyanddust
@kindred-spirit-93
@urfavgreekmythnerd
@sickneurotic
@ry-diggity
@we-are-but-dead-stars
@thestarryfalls
@tamaruaart
@hermesmoly
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mdni!! ( ´ ▽ ` )
oughhh thinking abt choso sucking strap. oughhhhhh
cw’s: gn! reader (reader is afab), (very light) dacryphilia, mentions of drool/spit/gagging and uhhh i think that’s it!! ^^
he was a little confused by your proposition at first but he agreed quickly after you explained. if it was something that would make you feel good why would he say no?
“so it’s just… the same way you do it to me?” his voice is soft when he speaks, his hands lightly running over the skin of your thighs as if trying to ground himself just by touching you. he looks so small from this position, on his knees while not-so subtly eyeing the piece of silicone fixed to your pelvis. it was… strange. different. but he couldn’t bring himself to really mind it. if the way his cock was already twitching in his pants said anything, you would say he was just as excited as you were.
you nod in response, bringing a hand up to graze over his jaw. he looks up at you with the small touch, so attentive and hyperaware of every one of your actions. “take it as slow as you need, cho. i don’t want you to overwhelm yourself.” you reminded him gently. he had a habit of getting overexcited and — as endearing as it was — it usually ended with you having to force him to slow down so he could have a chance to recover. cute, but you were worried about him hurting himself in this specific scenario.
“i’ll be careful.” he reassured you, his voice a hoarse whisper as his eyes drifted back down to your strap-on. his movements were careful when he brought a hand up to wrap around the base of your cock, his eyes wide and watching your reactions as his tongue tentatively kitten-licked around the tip. the heady look you were giving him must’ve given him more confidence because soon enough he was wrapping his lips around the silicone of your dick, the tip tapping against the inside of his cheek while he practiced the shallow back and forth motion that had sent his eyes rolling to the back of his head whenever you did it to him.
you hadn’t even realized your hand had moved to rest at the top of his head until his eyes had met yours, snapping you out of the small daze you had fallen into. he looked so pretty, so desperate for your approval even when his mouth was filled with your cock. he made sure to keep his motions slow as he took you deeper and deeper, allowing his throat to adjust to the new intrusion. his hands unconsciously gripped at your thighs, the pads of his fingers creating small divots in the plush skin while he took you deep enough for the tip of his nose to kiss! against the bottom of your tummy.
he held that position, his eyes desperately searching yours for approval while his nose remained smushed against your pelvis. you moved your hand to push his bangs back, a soft groan leaving you when you saw the tears dotting his lashline. “doin’ so good, cho. look so pretty takin’ my dick down your throat.” you swore you could feel the way his throat constricted around the silicone when he let out a small whimper at your words, a breathy curse leaving your lips at the deep, almost shocking warmth that filled your stomach.
you almost whined when you saw him start to move again, your head falling back in an attempt to get away from the sinful view in front of you so you could catch your breath. you could feel everything if you focused hard enough. the tight warmth of his throat, the soft vibrations of his moans when you gripped at his hair, the way his throat tightened with every small gag and bob of his head.
“fuck my throat.” his hoarse little whisper cut through your thoughts, his hands holding an almost bruising grip on your thighs. you could only breathe out a small, dumb “huh?” before he repeated himself. “fuck my throat, please… wanna know how it feels when i do it to you.” his hands massaged your thigh like he was trying to persuade you to say yes (as if you’d ever say no to an offer like that).
you nodded eagerly as soon as his words registered in your dazed brain, your breath hitching when he started taking you down his throat again. you let him readjust before starting with slow, shallow thrusts. you had to get used to the new rhythm just as much as he had to get used to the new sensation, but the both of you got the hang of it quickly.
your moans were unrestrained when you started speeding up your movements, choso’s teary eyes and soft gags as he struggled to take you sending you practically hurdling towards the edge. “gonna cum, cho… gonna fill up your pretty throat with my cum.” your words were strained and desperate, your thrusts becoming more and more sloppy as that warmth in your stomach finally unraveled. you threw your head back in a silent scream as your hips pushed forward, your tip bumping against the back of choso’s throat. everything felt warm and deep and oh-so intense, your hips rhythmically spasming as you came down from your high.
you pulled out of your boyfriends throat, your lips forming a small o when you saw the trail of saliva that connected his lips to the silicone. your hand moved to cup his cheek, lightly guiding him to look at you. “you okay, cho? was i too rough?” your voice was hazy from your orgasm but your eyes studied him as intently as you could manage.
he nodded meekly, his hands folded in his lap and pressed against his aching cock.
poor baby… might as well return the favor, right?
#an angel came down from the heavens and said ‘mist. misssst u need to write more men sucking dick’#so i said ofc!!#and here we are#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#choso x reader smut#choso x gn reader#choso x female reader#choso jjk#choso x you#choso smut#choso kamo#choso x reader#jjk choso#choso x y/n#sub!choso#sub!choso x reader
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Hii! Sorry to be asking you this out of nowhere, but I really need help. Recently I've been starting to discover a lot about shifting, here's a list of everything because I don't know how to fit it all in: - It's so easy, I just have to remember my intention. (I used to forget about it ALL the time so I'm working on that) - I learnt how to "induce" a shift atleast for me. Anyway, when I focus enough and affirm, I start to "zoom in" by imaginging my DR getting closer and merging with me, and then I feel like floating and my surroundings change, everything behind my eyes goes pitch black but then I either get scared or something and nothing happens. What do I do? I feel like I'm so close yet so far from shifting because I just feel too stuck. If I'm trying to induce the shift, I guess I'm "forcing it" but if I'm not I just forget my intention and don't shift. For context, I've shifted a lot of times to parallel CRs on accident. tysm
hii! It's alright I'm here to help.
It's good that setting an intention helps you shift, but you don't need it to shift. So even if you forget your intention you can still shift where you wanted to. The subconscious remembers.
The main problem that you're encountering seems like you get scared while shifting. Don't worry about it. It's your body's response to the change. The good thing is you're not your body so it can be managed.
When you say you feel like you're floating and everything goes pitch black, are you sure you're not in the void? Based on your explanation that is also possible. This can be leading you to get scared as many people get scared inducing the void state at first.
If not, then you need to breathe through the 'fear' and focus on your destination. It can be scary as it's a new experience but I assure you that you're 100% safe shifting. You should repeat these words during the day as well and calm yourself down. Slowly it'll start feeling normal and you won't be scared.
Hope this helps!!
#anon ask#anon answered#anon asks#anonymous#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting#shifting blog#shifters#shifting antis dni#shifting reality#shifting realities#shifting consciousness
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Rewatching act 2.... yeah ISHA WATCH OUT FOR THE CYCLE ISHA!!!!! NOOOOO
#ambessa setting up the logs on a fireplace while literally adding fuel to the fire with cailtyn... subtelty#silco spent his whole life trying to rile the undercity together STUPID JOKE THAT IT IS you have the chance to pull it off#isha is the true revolutionary after all... jinx get up to her level#was jinx scared of having hallucinations when the girl she released was gonna touch her shoulder??? and then she didn't#what i find really funny is that warwick knows how to use elevators and that funicular to the prison#also there is a lot of blood when he appears in the prison.... it was surprising#vander recognizing jinx with the name of powder after she complained about it eariler its just crazy crazy crazy#people commenting that its unrealistic how caitlyn bests vi when they meet in episode 6 as if there wasn't a montage about how she lost her#edge because of alcohol and living like shit.... she's not like jinx lmao....#rewatching so recently is so weird i imagine it is as close as being dr manhattan as i can get it is literally happening all at once#also the people of piltover are so dumb... lets let the government implement martial law and put this 20 something with 0 political#experience on charge with the army of this outsider agent. alright. i can tell you guys dont vote in this oligarchy you know fuck all#well i guess in that case it isnt the people of piltovers fault... just the important families that contribute in this oligarchy...#putting count fagula in charge.... salo is speciallt dumb but we all knew that#katie leung needs awards btw.... and interviews#“do not test this or you will yearn for caitlyn's dungeons” be careful singed my friend vi fell for that and look at her... her dungeons...#vander reaching for isha not jinx.... OR VI.... she just stopped him#“hes gonna kill you” and vi fighting vander to protect jinx.... yeah#and then she trusts jinx and the beast turns into vander... he serves as a recognizing tool for their true selves...#their mom being so worried about how to name vi and then names the second one POWDER kahdksjsk never not funny... also the barber of zaun#when vi joins with jayce she unlocks this loser flop aspect of her mother's inheritance.... two losers joining to maximize their joint flop#also vander kinda giving up this promise to protect the girls instead of bettering zaun... how it puts him in a standstill bc it's either or#like damn there is nothing as undoing as a daughter for reals. she didnt experience that bc she died so now vander has to and here we are#episide 6 starts with the end of the episode when viktor drops that metal piece..... hello..... is this anything#“do you think this place could work” underground utopia.... DYNASTIES AND DYSTOPIA FEAR IS NEVER AN OPTION SO DYING'S NOT A REAL PROBLEM#didnt ambessa suspect anything when they spent loke a full minite staring at each other 😭😭 she's lost her edge...#just like when she clocked sevika but not jinx... when there's a strong butch in the area her radar gets jammed up#and caitlyn leaving her weapon behind... ambessa thought she was gonna fistfight warwick or something#the metal thing falling when viktor dies repeats THREE TIMES WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#watching arcane season 2
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Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#The Captain#Hhhhhh <3#I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort!#It's the codependency for me <3#The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe#He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥#Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back#How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him#So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything!#How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not!#What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3#It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold!#ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course#Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah#ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪#But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control!#Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3#Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;;#At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps#Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3#He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3#I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥
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Stars Only Shine In The Darkness - Chapter 3: A Purpose
Really proud of this chapter. I think it's really obvious how much I have thought about this series in the, what, month since I started writing it when you compare this chapter to Tricking a God. But at the same time, Tricking a God was just such a perfect title because, well, Jace has a plan.
(tw for some brief suicidal thoughts, including in this exerpt)
He could just drive into the river. Take something beforehand to numb his magic so he didn’t accidentally save himself. It probably wouldn’t even take too long. If he did it at night, nobody would even notice, not until it was too late. He could make it look like an accident. Who was going to be bothered to bring him back? He didn't know when he’d started sobbing but now he couldn't stop. All this time he’d put so much effort into staying alive and for what? Arianwen had given him a purpose, a reason to keep going. He’d chosen life for her. And for Her. But they had both been taken away from him. What purpose did he have now? Revenge? He wanted revenge but that wasn’t going to change anything. That wasn’t going to help Arianwen. That. That was his purpose now.
Stars Only Shine In The Darkness - Chapter 3 - DnDnTea - Dimension 20 (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own]
#I have so many thoughts about this chapter and can ramble for a bit#I was really worried about doing it because it is just a repeat of something I had already written#but once I knew where Jace's head was at during this conversation it was just so easy#dimension 20#fantasy high#jace stardiamond#fantasy high fic#a wizard and a sorcerer
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I'm reminded on the daily of my trauma, and how when I was a teenager I was actively encouraged to air out my trauma, because that seemed like the only way I could earn scholarships and funds to go to university. Maybe people thought it was healing. Bravery.
Every day, I wake up angrier.
#vent#tbf to teenage corey#people really do be like 'don't worry about the repercussions later on for doing any of this. Tell us again how your life got fucked up :)#anyway be 100% certain if you ever choose to do an interview that will be accessible by anyone any time#especially if it's about something traumatic. ask yourself 'will I be okay hearing this on repeat around me?'#because I SURE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT#I didn't think about how I would be re-traumatized by friends and family and fellow students just#playing the interview on repeat.#anyway
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One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)
And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".
And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try
I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else
And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"
I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T
But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me
And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"
And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"
And like
It just sorta
Kept going?
And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands
And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting
And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting
So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie
and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"
So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."
So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me
The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment
But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her
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#prefacing this by saying I'm too lazy to do anything besides self harm#but it's time for my monthly spiral except shit is hitting different this time lmao#i turn 29 in 7 days and i really am just. over it#i started writing something last night that kinda devolved into a suicide note#talking about how the guilt of existence is tearing me apart. how i have no passions or motivations#i just get up. work. play some video games sometimes. go to bed. repeat.#I've barely slept lately#I've been awake since 2 am on and off crying#I'm tired of existing#I'm tired of not being able to help my friends or help my community or help the world#my existence contributed to the overall problem and I've been struggling to see a way forward#i started stock piling pills again and i know i could kill myself if i got the energy to#but I'm too lazy even for that#and it only brings with it further guilt because what the fuck do i have to be depressed about#i have a great job. a roof over my head. a car. enough money to live (even if it's barely)#some of the people i love most don't even have that. or they're stuck in situations that are just awful for one reason or another#yet I'm the one sitting here like “haha what if i just overdose on every medication in my house :D wouldn't that be funny guys?”#there's a song i love that i reference to my therapist a lot called Gut Punch by Everyone's Worried About Owen#and there's a line that goes “I feel guilty bring hurt cause there are other people hurting and those people really need support right now”#and it just. sums me up a lot. i feel guilty feeling like this when so many people in the world have it so much worse#so many of my friends have it so much worse#who the fuck am i to say it's too hard? it only furthers the cycle of guilt#and i don't know how to make it stop#anyway
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Taking notes, Sevens?
I am in fact, not taking notes.
Pointedly.
ESPECIALLY after whatever the hell was that chart you sent me.
#that and whatever the fuck you want to call that incident with 3k#I can't imagine they'd be remotely interested in a potential repeat#besides after all this bullshit I'm seeing maybe I should just burn my list before I do something very very very very stupid#besides I'm throwing myself out of a plane tomorrow so I might just go splat and then have to worry about it next loop#assuming this isn't all some elaborate prank to make me have an existential crisis before they kill me in some horrifically tragic#not really friendly fire incident in the middle of a bigger combat where they cant be bothered to try and ID me because everyones after the#but that's besides my point theyve got too much going on as it is and I cant afford to be worrying about trivial bullshit like that
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we are finally off the phone! I'd misjudged the time in the last post but in total it as 2 hours and 5 minutes. I do not know what half that conversation even was but holy shit so much of it was her basically making herself out to be so generous and caring and talking about how worried she is about our mum and how terrible it is that other family members don't help her with anything.
meanwhile she calls our mum and asks her to do all this stuff for her and talks to her like shit and guilt trips her into doing stuff and I know about so much incredibly fucked up stuff she did when our mum was a kid but she doesn't know that we know she's done all this.
also she normally keeps our mum on the phone for this long but doesn't keep us on the phone for very long and it's really weird suddenly being treated like our mum, but she called us because our mum wasn't picking up the phone (she's at work and can't do that) and it's reminding me of the thing where when we had covid in 2021 and our mum couldn't answer the phone, everyone started calling us and dumping every responsibility they'd normally dump on our mum on us instead and basically treating us how they'd normally treat her.
like oh the usual family scapegoat isn't available? time to pester her eldest "daughter" until they have a breakdown and almost end up blocking everyone and refusing to talk to the rest of the family
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#''I started experiencing [very graphic description of symptom repeated over and over for at least 5 minutes]#and thought I'd ask you what you think it is because I figured you'd know'' well I don't know but I do feel sick now#I was about to fucking get something to eat but no I'm gonna have to wait for the nausea over that to die down first#she called us panicking and sounding like she was about to cry because our mum wasn't answering#and she ''had a feeling something had gone wrong'' and like okay but you fucking know she's at work. you know she can't answer#''your mum works so hard and I worry so much and I feel so bad when she does things for me''#you mean the things she does for you because you make her feel really guilty if she doesn't?#where you decide to stop answering calls from anyone else in the family so they all call her panicking and make her go and check on you#and you keep this up until she does what you want but then you still carry on doing this if something is even slightly not to your liking#and then you lie about why you wouldn't answer anyone but give 3 different contradictory reasons in half an hour#and keep changing the story when you realise your lies aren't being believed and you're starting to look bad?#are you sure you aren't just saying you feel bad to make it look less like you're manipulating her?#there's so much more that's so much worse but I don't want to get into that right now and I'd need to figure out the right trigger warnings#but god it's all just such a shitshow
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Pick Us!
In which you have to choose a club and it looks like everyone wants a piece of you.
Part 2 (Choosing a club)
You were minding your own business, dodging Grim's increasingly creative ways to get you to buy premium tuna, when Crowley swept in with his usual dramatic flair.
“Ah, my dear pupil!” he exclaimed, arms wide like a bad community theater actor. “To better immerse yourself in school life, you must join a club. It’s mandatory!”
Before you could protest or ask any clarifying questions, he disappeared in a swirl of his cape, leaving you standing there with nothing but Grim’s unsympathetic shrug.
Naturally, this information traveled faster than you could process it, because the next thing you knew, Ace was practically dragging you by the arm across campus.
The Basketball Club
“Alright, listen,” Ace began, spinning a basketball on one finger and grinning like he just invented the sport. “You’re obviously joining the basketball club. It’s the best. I’m here, Floyd’s here, and even Jamil’s here, so really, it’s a no-brainer.”
“Is that supposed to sell it?” you asked, crossing your arms.
“Uh, yeah!” he said, tossing the ball toward you. It immediately bounced off your hands and hit the floor. Ace, undeterred, caught it mid-bounce and gave you a wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. I’m, like, super good at this. Just ask him!”
From across the gym, some poor guy—bless his heart—tried to nod in support, but you caught the nervous look he shot Ace instead.
“Okay, sure,” you said, “but isn’t this just an excuse for you to show off?”
“Maybe,” Ace said with zero shame, dribbling the ball dramatically before attempting a layup. The ball bounced off the rim and into Floyd’s waiting hands.
“Shrimpy!” Floyd called, tossing the ball behind his head without looking (and still somehow making the shot). “Join the club. It’ll be fuuuuun.”
You hesitated, because with Floyd, “fun” could mean literally anything. “Define fun,” you said cautiously.
“Simple! You, me, and Ace crushing people in games!” Floyd grinned, leaning closer to you. “And if anyone tries to mess with you, I’ll squish ‘em.”
Ace groaned. “Floyd, you can’t just threaten people into joining.”
“Why not?” Floyd asked, genuinely puzzled.
“Because it’s weird!”
“No, it’s effective,” Floyd countered, shooting you another toothy grin. “C’mon, Shrimpy, you’re already here. I’ll even let you call the plays. Or, you know, not. Whatever.”
“...You’re just bored, aren’t you?”
“Obviously,” Floyd admitted, leaning lazily against the wall. “But hey, if you join, I won’t let Ace hog the ball. Win-win, right?”
And then there was Jamil, who had been sitting silently on the sidelines, observing the chaos with his usual exasperated expression.
“Are they done?” he asked, finally standing and walking over to you.
“I don’t think so,” you replied, watching as Floyd tried to steal the ball from Ace mid-dribble.
Jamil sighed. “Typical.” He glanced at you, his tone cool and measured. “Ignore them. They’re just trying to drag you into their antics.”
“Antics?” Floyd repeated, offended.
“Yeah, Jamil,” Ace added, narrowing his eyes. “What’re you implying?”
“I’m implying you’re both terrible at convincing people,” Jamil said smoothly. He turned back to you. “If you’re interested in joining the club, you’ll actually get something out of it. Physical exercise, teamwork, strategy. And if you stick around, I’ll make sure you’re not stuck with them during practice.”
“Hey!” Ace protested.
Floyd just laughed. “Jamil’s still salty about the last scrimmage.”
“Hardly,” Jamil said, arching an eyebrow. ���I’m just pointing out that if you want to learn how to actually play, you’d be better off with me.”
You blinked. “Are you… offering to train me?”
He shrugged, but there was a faint smirk on his face. “If it means saving you from their nonsense, yes.”
All you can do is sigh and say "I'll think about it"
Track and Field Club
You barely made it out of the basketball club’s gym alive when Deuce grabbed your wrist like his life depended on it. His expression was that unique combination of earnest and panicked—classic Deuce.
“Wait, don’t decide yet!” he said, already dragging you down the corridor. “You haven’t even seen the track and field club! You might like it better!”
“Deuce,” you began, trying to keep up without tripping. “I haven’t even—”
“Just come on!”
Before you knew it, you were standing on the edge of the outdoor track, blinking in the sunlight as Deuce shoved you forward like he was presenting a prize to a panel of judges. Jack, in the middle of sprint drills, stopped mid-stride to look over at you. His tail flicked once, and he jogged over with that intimidating mix of focus and curiosity he always had.
“You’re trying to recruit them?” Jack asked, crossing his arms.
Deuce nodded, puffing out his chest like he was making the ultimate sales pitch. “Yeah! Track and field’s way better than basketball. No offense to those guys.”
“I take offense,” you muttered, but neither of them heard.
“Plus,” Deuce continued, “we’ve got variety. Running, jumping, throwing—you can do anything. It’s not just bouncing a ball around, you know?”
Jack nodded in agreement. “It’s good for discipline. Builds strength, endurance, and focus. If you want to improve yourself, this is the place to do it.”
“Uh-huh,” you said, glancing at the track. “And what if I… don’t exactly have focus?”
“That’s fine!” Deuce said, grinning brightly. “We’ll help you! Right, Jack?”
Jack nodded. “Of course. We’ll start with basic drills.” He gave you a once-over, sizing you up. “How’s your stamina?”
“Define… stamina,” you said cautiously, because you had a feeling your answer wasn’t going to impress him.
Jack’s ears twitched, and he leaned slightly closer. “How far can you run without stopping?”
“Uh,” you began, nervously shifting your weight. “To the fridge?”
Jack blinked. “...You’re joking, right?”
Deuce coughed loudly, clapping a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about that! Everyone starts somewhere, right? Besides, they’re here because they want to try something new.”
You stared at Deuce. “I don’t remember saying that.”
“Exactly!” he continued, ignoring you entirely. “Think of how awesome it’d be to have us training you! We’ll get you in the best shape of your life. Right, Jack?”
Jack, who was still mildly horrified by your fridge comment, hesitated. “...Sure.”
Deuce, now fully in salesman mode, gestured to the track like it was some sort of holy land. “And you don’t have to worry about teamwork stuff! You can focus on your personal goals and—”
“Unless you’re in a relay,” Jack interjected.
“Right, but relays are cool!” Deuce added quickly. “Like… team spirit, you know?”
You glanced between the two of them, taking in Jack’s intensity and Deuce’s enthusiasm. They were both staring at you with a mix of hope and determination, and honestly, it was kind of endearing.
“Okay,” you said slowly. “If I join, do I get to skip the first practice?”
“No,” Jack said immediately.
Deuce grinned sheepishly. “But we’ll go easy on you!”
“Jack doesn’t look like he believes that.”
Jack tilted his head, his tail swishing once. “You’ll thank me later.”
“I’m not sure I’ll survive later,” you muttered.
Deuce ignored that, clapping his hands together. “Great! I knew you’d love it here! C’mon, let’s give them a quick demo, Jack!”
Before you could protest, the two of them took off around the track, moving at speeds that made you feel dizzy just watching. Deuce kept glancing back to grin at you, while Jack stayed focused, every stride perfect.
You stood there, bewildered and vaguely impressed, wondering if joining any club was a good idea at all. Still, as Deuce stumbled back toward you, sweaty but grinning like a puppy who just fetched a stick, you couldn’t help but laugh.
“Think about it, okay?” he said, hands on his knees as he caught his breath. “We’d love to have you here.”
Jack jogged up beside him, barely winded. “You’ll fit in if you put in the effort.”
“Yeah,” Deuce agreed, nodding earnestly. “So… what do you think?”
You hesitated, glancing at the track, then at them. “…I’ll get back to you.”
Deuce grinned like that was a victory, and Jack just nodded approvingly. As they walked back to their drills, you realized you had yet another club to consider—and these two weren’t going to make it any easier.
Board Game Club
Before you could make your escape—or even fully process the events of the day—your wrist was suddenly seized by Ortho, who zoomed in out of nowhere like a missile with a purpose.
“There you are!” Ortho exclaimed with unsettling cheer. His grip was surprisingly firm for someone who probably didn’t even need to touch you to move you. “Big Brother’s been waiting! Come on!”
“Wait—what? Ortho, where are we—”
“No time for questions!” And just like that, he lifted you into the air like you were a deranged package and he was some kind of express courier. You barely had time to flail before he rocketed off, delivering you with precision to the board game club's headquarters.
You landed with an unceremonious thud, right in front of Idia, who nearly fell out of his chair.
“Ortho!” Idia hissed, his flaming hair flaring. “You can’t just abduct people like that!”
“But you said you wanted them to join!” Ortho chirped. “Mission accomplished!”
Azul, seated calmly at the head of the table, adjusted his glasses and smirked. “Well, well. A delivery service—how efficient. Welcome to the board game club.”
You were still processing the fact that you’d been airmailed when Idia slouched lower in his seat, muttering, “Ugh, so embarrassing. Ortho, seriously…”
“Uh,” you began, brushing yourself off. “Hi?”
Azul gestured grandly to the table in front of him, where an array of meticulously organized board games was displayed like they were ancient treasures. “Here, we focus on strategy, intellect, and the fine art of outwitting your opponent. Unlike other clubs,” he said with a pointed glance at the door, “this one doesn’t require you to break a sweat.”
“That’s actually kind of appealing,” you admitted, still wary.
Idia perked up slightly, his hair flickering a little brighter. “See? I told you it’s cool. I mean, if you like, uh, not running around like some NPC.”
Ortho leaned over, nodding enthusiastically. “And Big Brother’s really good at this stuff! He’s undefeated in our club tournaments!”
“That’s because you’re the only other member who’s not a liability!” Idia blurted, before realizing what he’d just said. “Uh—I mean—you’d totally, like, be an asset. Probably.”
Azul cleared his throat, clearly annoyed at being excluded from the compliment. “Allow me to demonstrate. Why don’t we have a quick match? You against Idia.”
“What?” Idia sat up straight, his hair sparking nervously. “No way! That’s not fair—I can’t just—”
Azul gave him a smile sharp enough to cut glass. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of losing, Idia.”
Idia’s face turned pink. “Fine,” he grumbled, setting up the board. “But don’t blame me if I crush them.”
You sat down reluctantly, realizing too late that this was probably a trap. Idia’s fingers moved at lightning speed as he set up his pieces, muttering calculations under his breath. Ortho leaned over your shoulder, giving you completely useless advice like, “Just believe in yourself!”
To your surprise, you managed to hold your own for the first few turns. Idia glanced up at you, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he were reevaluating your existence.
“Huh,” he murmured. “Not bad. For a newbie.”
“Is that a compliment?” you asked, moving your piece cautiously.
“Don’t let it go to your head,” he said quickly, his face turning red again.
Azul chuckled from his spot at the table. “See? A game of wits and strategy. Isn’t this far superior to running laps or throwing balls into hoops?”
“Hey!” you said, pointing your game piece at him. “Don’t diss the other clubs. They’re passionate too!”
Azul raised an eyebrow. “Passion doesn’t win battles. Strategy does.”
The game dragged on, and by the end of it, you were completely out of your depth. Idia, on the other hand, looked like he’d just stepped out of an anime boss fight, his hair flaring dramatically as he made his final move.
“Checkmate,” he said, grinning slightly.
“Wrong game, Big Brother,” Ortho corrected.
“Whatever!” Idia snapped, but he didn’t look too upset. “It’s over, okay?”
Azul leaned forward, smirking again. “So, what do you think? Ready to join?”
You leaned back in your chair, your brain fried from trying to keep up. “I… I need to think about it.”
Ortho beamed. “That means they’re considering it! Success!”
Idia muttered something under his breath about “too much pressure” and “why is this so stressful,” but you caught a tiny flicker of a smile as he fiddled with one of the game pieces.
Azul, ever the businessman, handed you a brochure as you left. “Take your time. But remember—intellect always wins.”
You left the board game club feeling like you’d just survived a high-stakes negotiation. And as Ortho cheerfully waved goodbye, you couldn’t help but wonder if all the clubs were this intense.
Film Studies Club
You were rounding a corner, still recovering from your latest club recruitment ambush, when a perfectly manicured hand shot out and grabbed your wrist.
Before you could even yelp, you found yourself being gracefully pulled into the Film Studies Clubroom by none other than Vil Schoenheit. His strides were purposeful, his posture impeccable, and his expression…well, let’s just say it was the definition of I’m doing you a favor, peasant.
“Vil?” you sputtered, barely managing to keep up. “What are you—”
“I need to vet you,” Vil said simply, his voice calm but leaving no room for argument. “The Film Studies Club could use some fresh blood, and you look… adequate.”
“Adequate?” you echoed, mildly offended but too intrigued to argue further.
He led you to the center of the room, gesturing for you to stand under a perfectly angled spotlight. “Don’t misunderstand,” Vil continued, crossing his arms and regarding you with a critical eye. “I’m merely evaluating your potential. Our club requires both talent and diligence—qualities that, if I’m being honest, are rare in this school.”
“Uh, thanks?”
Vil ignored you, pulling out a script and flipping through it like he was deciding your fate. “If you can’t pass the audition, you can still join as a backstage hand,” he said airily. “We’re short on those too.”
“Wow, what an inspiring pitch,” you muttered, but Vil’s sharp gaze silenced you immediately.
“Read this,” he instructed, handing you the script and gesturing for you to begin.
You hesitated, glancing at the lines. “You’re serious? Right now?”
“Do I look like someone who jokes about art?” Vil asked, raising a perfectly sculpted brow.
Point taken.
Clearing your throat, you started reading, trying to put some effort into it. Vil watched you intently, his expression inscrutable. He occasionally tilted his head, as if mentally dissecting every word you spoke, every movement you made.
When you finished, you looked at him expectantly, waiting for his verdict.
Vil tapped his chin, his eyes narrowing. “You’re not hopeless,” he said finally, in a tone that made it sound like a compliment. “Rough around the edges, yes, but I’ve seen worse.”
“Gee, thanks,” you said dryly.
“Don’t be smug. You’ll need work,” Vil continued, ignoring your tone. “But I suppose you have potential.”
“And if I didn’t?”
Vil gave a delicate shrug, his expression cool. “Then you’d still be useful behind the scenes. But consider this your opportunity to elevate yourself. Being part of my club means striving for excellence—no exceptions.”
You couldn’t help but smirk. “Is this really about me, or are you just desperate for members?”
Vil’s eyes narrowed, but there was a flicker of amusement there. “Desperation has nothing to do with it. I’m simply ensuring that my club remains unparalleled. If you happen to benefit from my guidance, so be it.”
“Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse? I'll think about it.”
Vil’s lips curved into the faintest of smiles. “Smart choice. Now, don’t make me regret it.”
With that, he turned on his heel, leaving you standing there wondering what exactly you’d just signed up for—and if Vil’s idea of “elevating yourself” involved a complete personality overhaul.
Science Club
You barely had time to process Vil's dramatic exit when a familiar voice whispered theatrically, “Ah, my muse! Fate conspires to bring us together!”
Before you could react, Rook Hunt appeared—swooped, really—out of nowhere and expertly whisked you away from the Film Studies Clubroom. It was less like being led and more like being caught mid-flight by an overly enthusiastic bird of prey.
“Rook?!” you yelped as he practically danced you down the hallway. “What is happening?”
“Mon ami,” he declared, his eyes glittering with fervor, “you must see the science club! A world of wonder awaits you!”
“Wait—science?” you echoed, incredulous. “You’re in the science club?”
“Ah, oui! Science is but another stage upon which the beauty of nature and humanity performs its eternal dance! The experiments! The cultivation of life! The creation of culinary masterpieces! All expressions of art, no?”
You weren’t sure if he was describing scientific principles or poetry, but before you could argue, Rook had dragged you into the science clubroom.
The room was a chaotic mix of activities. One corner housed a vibrant garden under grow lights, another had chemistry equipment bubbling away ominously, and a third corner smelled suspiciously like freshly baked bread. Trey Clover stood near a counter, pulling cookies out of an oven as if this were the most normal thing to happen in a science lab.
“Ah, there you are,” Trey greeted, smiling warmly. “Rook said he’d bring someone by. I’m guessing you’re deciding on a club?”
You glanced between Rook, who was already gesturing dramatically at a rack of test tubes, and Trey, who held up a tray of cookies like a peace offering. “I… guess I am?”
“Bien sûr!” Rook exclaimed, sweeping an arm toward the greenery in the corner. “Behold! We grow life itself here! Tomatoes, basil, flowers—anything your heart desires!”
Trey added, “We also bake and cook as part of our activities. It’s a great way to learn about chemistry and make something useful at the same time.”
“And explosions!” Rook chimed in enthusiastically. “Occasionally, there are explosions.”
Trey shot him a look. “Not… intentionally.”
Rook turned back to you, his expression radiant. “Think of the possibilities, mon ami! With science, you can cultivate beauty, create masterpieces, and perhaps even unlock secrets of the universe! And, of course, I am here to guide you—to nurture the artistic soul that dwells within!”
“Also,” Trey added, far more pragmatically, “we’re not picky about what activities you want to try. It’s a flexible club, so you could do a little bit of everything.”
You considered this as Trey handed you a cookie. It was warm and delicious, which admittedly swayed your opinion a little.
“Hmm,” you said thoughtfully, “so I could garden, bake, and blow things up all in one club?”
“Exactly!” Trey said with a smile.
Rook leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a stage whisper. “And think, mon cher—if you hone your talents here, you could support Vil in creating the cinematic beauty he so envisions! Science and art, united in harmony!”
You blinked. “Wait, are you trying to recruit me for this club and help Vil at the same time?”
Rook grinned. “Nature does not limit itself to one purpose, mon ami, and neither do I.”
Trey sighed but didn’t deny it.
“Well, this is definitely… something,” you said, nibbling on the cookie. “I’ll think about it.”
“Ah, a maybe!” Rook clasped his hands together like you’d just promised him your soul. “A victory in itself!”
Before you could say anything else, Rook twirled you toward the door, clearly ready to drag you to your next destination—or possibly just keep talking about “the poetry of chlorophyll” until you gave in.
Pop Music Club
Just as you were beginning to suspect Rook was about to wax poetic about “the lyrical mysteries of yeast fermentation,” a sudden voice interrupted.
“Oh-ho, what’s this?”
Before you could even react, Lilia Vanrouge materialized out of thin air, practically glowing with chaotic energy. “Ah, my dear friend! You’re far too bright a star to waste away on science experiments! Come with me—pop stardom awaits!”
You blinked. “Wait, what?”
And just like that, you were swept up in Lilia’s whirlwind. He dragged you down the hallway with a skip in his step and a mischievous laugh, leaving Rook and Trey in his dust.
“Lilia, I can walk, you know!” you said, stumbling to keep up.
“But where’s the drama in that?” Lilia replied, cackling as he pushed open the doors to the Pop Music Clubroom.
Inside, the room was a cacophony of sound and color. Disco lights spun, a half-finished banner reading ‘Next Big Thing!’ hung lopsidedly on the wall, and Kalim was gleefully banging away on a drum like it owed him money. Cater sat cross-legged on the floor, scrolling through his phone and periodically snapping selfies with sparkly filters.
“Oh, hey!” Kalim greeted you, waving so enthusiastically he almost hit himself with the drum stick. “You’re here to join us, right? This club is the best! We have music, dancing, and it’s all just super fun!”
Cater glanced up from his phone, his grin wide and just a little too calculated. “You’d fit right in! Think of all the magicam-worthy moments we could create together. Plus, the followers you’d get? Off the charts.”
“Followers?” you echoed, glancing at Lilia.
“Ah, but of course!” Lilia said, flinging his arms wide as if presenting you to an adoring crowd. “The Pop Music Club isn’t just about music—it’s about presence! Charisma! The ability to captivate a room with a single note or a dazzling smile!”
“It’s also about having a good time!” Kalim added, spinning in a circle for no reason other than sheer joy.
Cater nodded, holding up his phone. “And don’t forget—every moment is a potential viral video. You, me, Lilia, and Kalim as the dream team? We’d own the algorithm.”
You hesitated. “Uh, I don’t even play an instrument.”
“Neither does he!” Lilia said brightly, pointing at some unfortunate bystander.
“Hey!” he protested. “I play the Kalimba!” He promptly tried to play a note, missed the rhythm entirely, and Lilia laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.
“See?” Lilia said, unfazed. “Talent is optional here. All we need is your spirit!”
Cater stood, brushing imaginary dust off his pants. “We also dabble in choreography, so if you’ve got two left feet, don’t worry—we’ll teach you how to make them look intentional.”
“Come on, join us!” Kalim said, grabbing your hands and bouncing up and down like an overexcited puppy. “We could totally use your energy!”
“What energy?” you asked, deadpan. “I’ve been dragged between clubs all day—I barely have any left.”
“Exactly!” Lilia said with a wink. “We’ll channel what’s left into a glorious crescendo of pop music excellence!”
You weren’t sure whether to laugh, cry, or just surrender entirely to the chaos. Lilia’s grin was practically infectious, Kalim’s enthusiasm radiated like the sun, and Cater was already adjusting the angle of his phone to catch you in the best light.
“Well,” you muttered, “at least it sounds… lively.”
“Lively is an understatement,” Cater said, snapping a selfie with you and Lilia in the background. “Hashtag PopStarsInTheMaking! You’re gonna love it here.”
“Let me guess,” you said dryly. “You’re already planning to upload that, aren’t you?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Cater said with a wink.
Lilia clapped his hands, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “So, what do you say? Ready to unleash your inner star?”
“I… will think about it,” you replied, edging toward the door.
“Think fast!” Kalim called after you. “The bass is calling your name!”
You bolted before anyone could shove an instrument into your hands.
Equestrian Club
As you hurried down the hallway, still reeling from the pop music chaos you'd just escaped, you nearly collided with a flash of red.
"Ah, there you are!"
You blinked up at none other than Riddle Rosehearts, who looked as though he'd been scouring the entire school for you. His eyes narrowed, and his voice carried a tone of stern authority mixed with subtle relief.
"I've been looking for you," Riddle said, crossing his arms. "Ace and Deuce mentioned that you’re considering which club to join. As housewarden, it’s my responsibility to ensure you make a proper choice."
You blinked, still processing. "Oh, uh… thanks?"
"Enough dilly-dallying," Riddle said briskly, taking your wrist with surprising firmness. "You're coming with me to the Equestrian Club."
"Wait, what—"
Before you could finish, Riddle had already begun marching you toward the stables. You were half-dragged, half-guided, catching snippets of his lecture along the way about the merits of horseback riding, discipline, and poise.
When you arrived, the warm scent of hay filled the air, and the sound of soft nickering greeted you. The stables were pristine, the horses sleek and well-groomed. Standing nearby were Silver and Sebek, both tending to the horses.
"Riddle, you found them" Silver greeted you with his usual calm demeanor. He gave you a faint smile as he gently brushed a dappled gray mare. "Perfect timing—we were just about to go for a ride."
Sebek, on the other hand, straightened like a soldier at attention, his voice booming. "THEY WILL JOIN US, OF COURSE! IT IS ONLY FITTING FOR AN INDIVIDUAL OF WORTH TO EMBRACE SUCH A NOBLE ART!"
"Sebek, indoor voice," Riddle said sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I AM OUTDOORS!" Sebek retorted, though he did lower his volume slightly.
You glanced nervously at the horses. "Uh, I don’t know if I’m… horse material."
"Nonsense," Riddle said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Riding teaches discipline, focus, and responsibility. It’s the perfect club for fostering growth—and for avoiding unnecessary distractions like some less dignified clubs."
"Pop Music Club?" you guessed.
Riddle sniffed, his expression sour. "Among others."
Silver walked over, still holding the brush, and gave you a reassuring nod. "Don’t worry. The horses are gentle, and we can teach you everything. It’s a peaceful activity once you get used to it."
"Peaceful!" Sebek exclaimed, throwing his arms wide. "It is a pursuit befitting the greatest warriors! EVEN LORD MALLEUS—"
"Sebek," Riddle interrupted, his patience clearly wearing thin. "Focus on the matter at hand."
"Apologies!" Sebek barked, saluting.
Riddle turned back to you, his expression softening just a fraction. "The Equestrian Club isn’t just about riding horses. It’s about elegance, partnership, and understanding. You could benefit greatly from it."
"And the horses are great listeners," Silver added.
"Unlike some humans," Sebek muttered under his breath.
You bit back a laugh as Riddle gave Sebek another glare.
"What do you say?" Riddle asked, stepping aside to let you see one of the horses—a chestnut with a kind, inquisitive gaze. "This is Vorpal. Perhaps a ride would convince you?"
The horse whinnied softly, and for a moment, you considered it. There was something appealing about the tranquility of the stables, the camaraderie of the club members, and the undeniable charm of working with such majestic creatures.
But then you remembered the drum chaos, the science experiments, and Vil’s dramatic vetting process.
"Let me, uh… think about it?" you said, taking a step back.
Riddle sighed, though he looked more exasperated than disappointed. "Very well. But don’t wait too long—indecision is unbecoming."
"Yeah," you mumbled. "Got it."
As you made your escape, you could hear Sebek booming, "RIDING A HORSE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!"
You weren’t sure about that, but you were certain that escaping club recruitment was starting to feel like an Olympic sport.
Magift Club
As you staggered away from the stables, thoroughly frazzled by Sebek’s enthusiastic yelling and Riddle’s intense lecture on discipline, you barely had time to catch your breath before—
“Yo, gotcha!”
A pair of hands grabbed your shoulders from behind, and you let out a very undignified yelp. You turned to find Ruggie grinning up at you like a mischievous hyena that had just found its next meal.
“Ruggie! What—?”
“No time for questions, boss,” he said, practically dragging you down the path. “Leona’s orders. He told me to bring ya to the Magift Club.”
“The Magift Club?” you repeated, already sensing disaster.
Ruggie nodded, smirking. “Yup. Let’s go, let’s go!”
“But—wait—I don’t even have magic!” you protested as he hauled you toward the field.
“Details, details,” Ruggie waved off, his grip on your arm firm.
Soon enough, you were dumped unceremoniously on the sidelines of the Magift field. Leona was lounging on the grass under the shade of a tree, looking entirely too comfortable for someone allegedly trying to recruit you. Epel was nearby, aggressively practicing his throws while muttering something that sounded suspiciously like “I’ll show ‘em.”
Leona cracked one eye open lazily as Ruggie dropped you off. “’Bout time,” he drawled.
“Leona,” you said flatly, “why would you want me in the Magift Club? I don't even have magic.”
He yawned, looking entirely unbothered. “Yeah, I know that. You’re still better than the other herbivores running around. You can be the manager.”
“Manager?”
“Yup,” Ruggie chimed in, plopping down next to Leona. “You’d handle all the boring stuff—paperwork, schedules, snacks, makin’ sure Epel doesn’t throw a fit when he gets tackled.”
“I don’t throw fits!” Epel yelled, narrowly missing a hoop with his throw.
Leona smirked. “Sure you don’t.”
You crossed your arms, unconvinced. “Why me, though? You’re telling me I’m the best candidate for this?”
Leona sat up slightly, his sharp eyes locking on yours. “I’m sayin’ you’re the least annoying option. I don’t need some herbivore manager who’s gonna cry every time I take a nap instead of practicing. You’re not useless, so quit whining.”
Ruggie leaned in conspiratorially. “Basically, you’re the only one Leona doesn’t feel like chasing off the field after two days.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like a ringing endorsement.”
Leona shrugged. “Take it or leave it. Makes no difference to me.”
At that moment, Epel ran up, panting slightly from his practice. “C’mon, you should join us!” he urged. “You don’t need magic to be part of the team. And if you ever wanna learn some tricks, I can teach ya!”
Leona gave him a lazy side-eye. “Don’t scare them off.”
“I’m not scarin’ ‘em! I’m convincin’ ‘em!” Epel shot back, glaring at Leona before turning back to you. “Seriously, we could use someone like you. The club’s fun, I promise!”
Ruggie snickered. “Fun’s a stretch. It’s more like… survival of the fittest with a ball involved.”
“And napping,” Leona added with a smirk.
Epel crossed his arms. “Well, maybe if someone practiced instead of nappin’, we’d win more games!”
Leona waved him off with a scoff.
You sighed, rubbing your temples. “I don’t know, guys. This sounds like a lot of chaos.”
“Chaos is half the fun,” Ruggie said with a grin. “C’mon, boss, think of all the free food we get during games. And you’d get to boss Leona around as the manager. Ain’t that worth it?”
Leona snorted. “Good luck with that.”
You glanced at the trio—Epel brimming with determination, Ruggie radiating mischief, and Leona looking like he didn’t care but also somehow cared just enough to try. It was… weirdly tempting, in its own way.
“I’ll… think about it,” you said finally.
“Fair enough,” Leona said, already reclining again. “Don’t take too long, though. We’ve got a game next week, and I’m not filling out paperwork.”
Ruggie winked. “Don’t worry, you’ll come around. Everyone does.”
As you left the field, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d just been almost recruited into something much more taxing than a simple club.
Mountain Lovers Club
Before you could escape the Magift field and all its potential paperwork, you took a sharp turn—only to smack right into what felt like a wall of polite menace. A soft, knowing chuckle sounded above you.
“Oh dear, do be careful,” came Jade Leech’s unmistakably smooth voice.
You took a step back, already dreading the conversation. “Jade,” you said warily, “what are you doing here?”
His sharp smile grew ever so slightly. “Waiting for you, of course. Word travels fast, and I’ve heard you’re in the market for a club.”
“Oh no,” you muttered. “You’re not here to—”
Before you could finish, he was already guiding you away, his hand light on your arm but unyielding, like a vice hidden under a silk glove.
“Come now,” he said, his tone as polite as ever, “I simply must show you the Mountain Lovers Club.”
“The what now?” you asked, bewildered.
“The Mountain Lovers Club,” he repeated, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“And… who else is in this club?”
“Why, just me.”
You stopped in your tracks. “It’s just you?”
“Yes.” Jade smiled serenely, as if this were not a glaring red flag. “I am the founder, leader, and sole member. But with your arrival, that could very well change.”
You blinked at him, unsure if you’d misheard. “Wait, so you’ve been running a one-person club this whole time?”
“Indeed.” His expression didn’t falter in the slightest. “The Mountain Lovers Club is dedicated to the appreciation of all things mountainous. Hiking through beautiful terrain, foraging for wild plants, observing unique ecosystems, and—on occasion—befriending the local fauna.”
“Befriending?”
“Examining, petting, observing closely…” His eyes gleamed. “Perhaps all three.”
You shook your head, trying to process. “So… why me?”
Jade clasped his hands together, the picture of poised enthusiasm. “You strike me as someone who appreciates unique experiences. The Mountain Lovers Club offers a chance to explore the great outdoors, expand your horizons, and develop a deeper appreciation for nature’s wonders.”
“And by ‘great outdoors,’ you mean mountains?”
“Precisely.”
“And it’s just you?”
“For now,” he said, his tone warm but his gaze uncomfortably intense. “But every great journey begins with a single step. Yours could be joining this club.”
You gave a nervous laugh. “Uh… I don’t think hiking through mountains is really my thing.”
“Ah, but how do you know unless you try?” Jade’s smile widened. “Besides, I’ll be there to guide you every step of the way. No need to worry about getting lost… or encountering anything unexpected.”
The way he said “unexpected” made you want to run for the hills (ironic, given the circumstances).
“Look, I appreciate the offer, but—”
“I insist,” he cut in smoothly, his tone polite but with a note of finality. “At least allow me to show you the club’s activities. Perhaps a short hike this weekend? I’ve already prepared a route.”
You stared at him. “You’ve already…?”
“Of course.” His gaze was calm, calculating. “Preparation is key. I’ve even packed a lunch.”
You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Jade, I—”
He tilted his head, his smile remaining perfectly composed. “Surely you wouldn’t refuse without at least giving it a chance? I’ve put so much thought into this.”
“Why do I feel like I don’t have a choice?” you muttered.
Jade’s smile was razor-sharp and utterly unrepentant. “Because you don’t.”
You sighed in defeat. “Fine. One hike.”
“Excellent,” he said, his tone soft and victorious. “I’ll see you this Saturday at dawn.”
“Dawn?!”
“Oh yes,” he said, his eyes gleaming with enthusiasm. “The mountains are at their most beautiful in the early morning light. You’ll love it.”
As he sauntered away, leaving you to process your fate, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d just agreed to something far more treacherous than a simple hike.
Gargoyle Research Society
The moment you finally reached Ramshackle Dorm, exhausted from the whirlwind of club-hopping and increasingly bizarre sales pitches, you let out a long sigh of relief. The day had been nothing short of chaotic, and all you wanted was to collapse onto your creaky old bed and forget the words “club activities” ever existed.
But just as your hand touched the doorknob, a familiar voice, deep and regal, called out from the shadows.
“Child of man.”
You jumped slightly, spinning around to see none other than Malleus Draconia emerging from beneath the pale light of the moon, his presence as imposing and enigmatic as always. He stood by one of Ramshackle’s crumbling stone walls, his expression calm but his eyes bright with an unreadable intensity.
“Oh, Malleus,” you said, your voice tinged with weariness but also a touch of warmth. “Didn’t see you there.”
He tilted his head ever so slightly, his gaze never leaving yours. “I was merely admiring the architecture of your dorm. It has a certain… wistful charm.”
You smiled faintly. “I guess that’s one way to put it.”
Then, with the sort of graceful confidence only Malleus could manage, he stepped closer, his presence looming but never threatening. “I have heard,” he began, his tone soft and deliberate, “that you have been seeking a club to join.”
You blinked at him, caught off guard. “How did you—”
“The winds carry whispers,” he said cryptically.
“Right,” you muttered, deciding not to question it.
Malleus folded his hands neatly in front of him, looking every bit the picture of regal sincerity. “If you have not yet made your decision… I would like to invite you to join my club.”
Your brain, still reeling from Jade’s mountain escapades and Leona’s managerial demands, stalled for a moment. “Your… club?”
“Yes,” he said, his voice brimming with quiet pride. “The Gargoyle Research Society.”
“The… what now?”
“The Gargoyle Research Society,” he repeated, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I am both its founder and sole member.”
Of course, he was.
Malleus seemed oblivious to your stunned silence as he continued, his expression softening into something almost earnest. “The society is dedicated to the appreciation and study of gargoyles. We explore the campus, observing their intricate designs and marveling at their history. There is so much beauty in their silent watch over us.”
You blinked. “So… you just walk around and look at gargoyles?”
“Precisely,” he said, his tone unironically enthusiastic.
“And… that’s it?”
Malleus nodded solemnly. “Indeed. It is a noble pursuit, one that nurtures both the mind and the spirit.”
For a moment, you were at a loss for words. Of all the clubs you’d encountered today, this might just take the crown for most niche.
Malleus, however, seemed utterly earnest. His eyes bore into yours, his expression sincere and unguarded. “I understand if this does not align with your current interests,” he said, his voice softening. “But should you ever feel the call of the gargoyles… know that you are always welcome.”
There was something so genuine in his tone, so quietly hopeful, that you felt a pang of guilt for even thinking about brushing him off. You sighed, offering him a tired but sincere smile. “You know what? I’ll definitely consider it.”
Malleus’s eyes lit up, his calm demeanor giving way to a flicker of pure joy. “Truly?”
“Truly,” you said, nodding.
“Then I shall look forward to the day you join me,” he said, his voice as soft as a promise.
With that, he gave you a small, graceful bow before disappearing back into the night, leaving you to wonder how you’d managed to end the day not only agreeing to a potential club but also feeling oddly flattered by the idea of studying gargoyles.
You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “What a day…”
Masterlist
Part 2: Choosing a club
a/n: it completely slipped my mind that ortho is in film studies sorry :(
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts x reader#ace trapolla x reader#deuce spade x reader#trey clover x reader#cater diamond x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#jack howl x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#jamil viper x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#epel felmier x reader#rook hunt x reader#idia shroud x reader#orthro shroud#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader#silver x reader#leona x reader#malleus x reader#jamil x reader#vil x reader
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The Love and Deepspace Boys Trying to Get You to Sleep ⋆。°✩
Tags: Fluff, teasing, needy boys, mild sexual content, gender neutral reader (I had to re-write so please let me know if I messed up.)
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
Xavier is surprisingly softer than you expected when you first met him on your mission together. He’s an incredibly powerful hunter but possesses a quiet and gentle, almost oblivious, aura when navigating everyday life, like a ghost floating through the space he takes up. It should also be understood that this very nature of his makes him affectionate, so much so, that he won’t unwrap his arms around your waist and stop pressing his head to your shoulder as you sit at the kitchen bar, typing on your laptop.
“Are you planning on staying up later than the stars?” he mumbles.
There’s a gentle yawn against your skin from the sluggish man, highlighting just how long he’s been trying to coax you into going to bed.
“I wanted to finish this report for work.”
“The report will be there tomorrow,” he says. You swat away his hand that reaches for the power button on the laptop causing him to pout. He grumbles. “You should go to bed. Otherwise, I can’t sleep.”
Smiling to yourself, you decide to tease him. “Oh, so you’re really trying to get me to go to bed for your own benefit?”
“Well, you can’t very well expect me to do it by myself anymore.” Xavier nuzzles his head into the slope of your neck, cuddling you. “It’s your responsibility since you ruined my sleeping habits.”
“Ruined?”
“Ramshackled,” he repeats quietly, causing you to giggle. With an airy sigh, he presses his weight into you more. “How do you expect me to sleep when I can’t hold you?”
Defeated, you save your work and close the laptop. You swivel in your chair, enough to meet his eye, and cup a hand to his cheek. It never stops being endearing to you how he cutely closes his eyes and angles his head to snuggle your palm.
“Alright, alright, you don’t have to beg.”
His eyes flutter open, and the smile on his face grows as he wraps his fingers around yours. Carefully, he pulls on your hand to bring it up enough to begin to lace your wrist with affectionate kisses, tracing your pulse.
“I thought you enjoyed my begging.”
“That’s different.”
“It isn’t,” Xavier mutters into your skin, pressing another light kiss.
“It is.”
“So, you're resolute about that position?” he questions “innocently”. There’s something mischievous about the glint in those arctic eyes, which makes your face warm. You find yourself breaking eye contact, or else you’d lose it.
“Yes.”
Xavier chuckles then begins to lead his kisses down your arm. “In that case, care to explain the difference in detail, love?”
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
“Sleep.”
“But—”
“Sleep.”
Zayne narrows his eyes at you from his side of the bed. You can’t blame him for being a little annoyed right now but the movie you put on to fall asleep was much better than you expected; and instead of falling asleep, you were more awake than ever at a very late one in the morning.
“I’m almost done with the movie,” you tell him, hoping he’ll cut you a little slack this one time.
“Everyone dies at the end of their own stupidity,” he bluntly states and grabs the remote. The television turns off with an overly loud click, and you pout. “Now, sleep.”
Crossing your arms over your chest, you huff. “You’re the worst.”
“I’m fine with that title if it gets you to rest,” he explains with a smooth yawn. “Poor sleep habits lead to bad decision-making later. You’re more likely to develop high blood pressure, and with your heart in particular—”
“I get it. I get it,” you say, wanting to be spared the lecture. Zayne is a good person and a better doctor, but you wish he didn’t worry about you so much just because you might have a little big heart problem. Sighing, you squiggle onto your back and pull the sheets up to your collar, kicking them a little childishly in the process (totally not to let him know that you were not pleased with his spoiling). “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“Very.”
Zayne turns over onto his side, away from you, and you frown at the loneliness. Softly, you poke him in the back, once, then twice then a third time before you finally get a hum in response.
“Am I really not getting a good night kiss?”
“Do you need one to sleep?” he asks, his voice deeper from the lack of sleep, urging you to convince him to kiss you even more.
“Duh,” you explain. Slowly, he turns back over to look at you, propping himself up on one arm with a look that says “Is that so” as you continue to ramble. It makes you a little flustered when he watches you so intently. He’s always had this silent dominance that makes you obedient, but you could get what you want from him just as easily with the exact opposite strategy. Cutely, you puff your bottom lip out at him. “There has to be some health benefit to it. Kissing makes people all happy. Happy is good, right?”
It takes a second for him to take in what you say, those smokey eyes closing in on you with thought before he climbs over you. He places both hands at your sides and quickly boxes in your upper thighs with his knees.
“You’re thinking of dopamine,” he says.
“Huh?”
“That makes you “all happy”,” he explains and presses a deep kiss to your lips, leaving you thoughtless and breathless all at once. He moves to your jaw, and you begin to squirm from the pressure of his impassioned lips.
“And Serotonin.”
Another kiss, lower.
“Oxytocin.”
He’s at your shoulder when he starts to nip your skin, and one of his hands moves to ski up the back of your thigh.
“Reduced cortisol.”
Flustered, you grip his arms.
“Zayne, stop, it tickles,” you whine, but it’s the last thing you actually want as he readjusts his position and hovers above you.
His usually neat hair is messier and his breathing a little heavier judging by how his chest laboriously rises and falls. Groaning, you bite your bottom lip as he knowingly leans in and whispers,
“You need it to help you sleep, isn’t that what you said?”
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
“Why don’t you just say you don’t love me anymore?”
You look up from your phone screen at the sudden accusation. You’re resting on the couch, your back propped up by the armrest and legs splayed out on the other cushion while Rafayel looks down at you with crossed arms and a less-than-pleased scowl on his face. You’re entirely confused as to what you could’ve done to make him think something like that.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been playing video games for what—the last two hours?” he says, uncrossing his arms to grab your phone. It’s too late to warn him as he glances at the screen, clicking a few times. “What are you playing anyway? An…otome? Sheesh, go ahead and say you want me gone. Come on, tell me you actually hate me.”
Holding in your smile, you shake your head and affectionately roll your eyes. It takes an enormous amount of effort to not laugh as he continues to rant. “So, it’s one of those things. I thought I was actually in trouble.”
And by those things, you mean his dramatics.
“Hush, my complaints are perfectly legitimate,” he demands as he pushes your legs aside and sits on the couch. Leaning over, he flashes the screen at you to show the evidence he has that you’re completely unfair, unfaithful, and downright mean. “What’s this game giving you that I’m not? Are my dashing good looks and even better personality not enough? Is that it?”
Gently, you take the phone from his hand and set it down on the end table. “You’re plenty, perfect even.”
He scoffs and refuses to look at you. “Apparently not. Don’t you ever think about anyone else? What if I want to cuddle with you one day but you’re too busy to notice because you’re playing silly games?”
Ah, there it is. His real want. You never know why he can never just come out and say it.
“Rafayel, do you want me to come to bed and cuddle with you?”
“Want is a strong word,” he remarks but you can see his resolve (can you call it that when he planned to give in all along?) crumbling as he slowly turns back to meet your gaze, “but I wouldn’t be opposed to it. Not that you deserve it or care.”
Humming, you sit up, wrap your arms around his shoulders, and pull him down onto you. Lovingly, you snuggle him, stopping to only take in how red his neck and ears start to get when you squeeze him and start to stroke through his hair. You’re not sure if Lumerians can blow happy bubbles like he claims, but he definitely hums and relaxes his entire body weight to lay on top of you like he wants to sink into your skin.
Teasingly, you coo at him. “You’re so needy.”
“I’d rather say you humans aren’t needy enough,” he fires back as he wraps an arm around your waist and kisses the corner of your lips. “Ah, the sweet taste of victory.”
Giving out a gentle and short laugh, you lightly tap his back. “Go to sleep.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ───
#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace fluff#love and deepspace smut#adelssmut#notsfw
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I do have to say... I kind of am worried about Kingdom Hearts IV.
#i know most people are probably going to say that it's just them wanting to keep the focus on ffvii rebirth and missing link#and that's probably it and i hope that's it#but idk. i'm still sort of worried. they really ARE repeating the mistakes of khiii now and that's not a good thing?#and even with khiii i feel like we still had more than this? like we had the bh6 concept art announcement even when they could show little#else right?#and. like. before when they showed ffvii remake khiii and khux stuff at the same time#maybe the new president doesn't want them to do that because he fears it'll make them compete but idk#i wonder if this has to do with the hits disney's taking lately?#or maybe they're running into production problems with khiv?#or could it be something else we don't know about?#like the new president being less interested in khiv? i have no idea but hmm...#i also feel like disney wouldn't like this. if they had a say. because it's bad marketing. and (once again) repeating the mistakes of#khiii's early development and being announced too early#i really hope it's nothing and just the 'oh we wanted to keep the focus on ffvii rebirth and missing link' but it's still weird#and maybe not the best decision in some areas#as i said before i also wonder if the strikes could also have affected things?#or maybe the new direction isn't really working...
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Listen to your elders
So last week I posted abut the importance of downloading your fic. And then three days later AO3 went down for 24 hours. No one was more weirded out by this than I was. But while y’all were acting like the library at Alexandria was on fire I was reading my download fic and editing chapter eight of Buck, Rogers, and the 21st Century. And also thinking about what I could do to be helpful when the crisis was actually over.
So first off, I’m going to repeat that if you’re going to bookmark a fic, you really need to also download the fic and back it up in a safe place. I just do it automatically now and it’s a good habit to get into.
But let’s talk about some other scenarios. Last October I lost power for over a week after hurricane Ian. Apart from not having internet or A/C I did find plenty to do, I collect books so I had plenty to read, but maybe, unlike me, your favorite comfort reads aren’t sitting on a bookshelf. So let’s do something about that, shall we?
In olden times many long years ago around 1995 we printed off a lot of fic. It was mostly SOP to print a fic you planned to reread and stick it in a three ring binder. And that’s totally valid today too, but you can also make a very nice paperback with a minimum amount of skill and materials.
Let’s start with the download; Go to Ao3 and select your fic, we’ll be working with one of mine. This method works best with one shots, long fic tends to need a more complicated approach. Get yourself an HTML download
Open up the HTML download and select all then copy paste into any word processor. Set the page to landscape and two columns, then change the font to something you find easy to read, this is your book, no judgement. This is all you have to do for layout but I like to play a little bit. I move all the meta, summary, notes to the end and pick out a fun font for the title:
No time like the present to do a quick proofread. Congratulations, you’ve just created your first typeset. On to the fun part.
Now you’re going to need some materials: 8.5x11in paper ruler one sheet of 12x12 medium card stock (60-80lb) scissors pencil pen or fine tip marker sheet of wax paper white glue two binder clips 2 heavy books or 1 brick butter knife
You’ll also need a printer, if you’re in the US there is almost a 100% chance your local library has a printer you can use if you don’t have your own. None of these materials are expensive and you can literally use cheap copy paper and Elmers glue.
Print your text block, one page per side. Fold the first page in half so that the blank side is inside and the printed side out:
use the butter knife to crease the edge. Repeat on all the sheets. When you’ve finished, stack them up with the raw edge on the left and the folded edge on the right. I used standard copy paper, because you’re only printing on one side there’s no bleed to worry about. Take the text block and line everything up. Use the binder clips to hold the raw edge in place.
Wrap the text block in the wax paper so that the raw edge and binder clips are facing out. I’m going to use my home built book press but you don’t need one, a brick or a couple of books or anything else heavy will work fine.
Once the text block is anchored down, take off he binder clips and get out the glue.
You can use a brush but you don’t need one, smear some glue on that raw edge.
Go make a margarita, watch The Mandalorian, call your mother. Don’t come back for at least an hour
In an hour smear some more glue on there and shift your brick forward so that the whole book is covered. This keeps the paper from warping. While glue part 2 is drying we’ll do the cover. Get out your 12x12 cardstock
Mark the cardstock off at 8.5 inches and cut it. Measure in 5.5 inches from the left and put in a score line with the butter knife (the back edge not the sharp edge)
Carefully fold the score line, this is your front cover. You have some options for the cover title, you can use a cutting machine like a cricut if you have one, you can print out a title on the computer and use carbon paper to transfer the text to the cardstock. I was in a mood so I just freehanded that beoch. Pencil first then in pen.
Take your text block out from under your brick. Line it up against the score mark and mark the second score on the other side of the spine
Fold the score and glue the textblock into the cover at the spine. Once the glue dries up mark the back cover with the pencil and then trim the back cover to fit with your scissors.
Voila:
I’m going to put this baby on the shelf next to the Silmarillion.
The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour.
If you want to make a book of a longer fic, I recommend Renegade Publishing, they have a ton of resources for fan-binders.
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