#i just get up. work. play some video games sometimes. go to bed. repeat.
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cosmiicfairy · 5 days ago
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#prefacing this by saying I'm too lazy to do anything besides self harm#but it's time for my monthly spiral except shit is hitting different this time lmao#i turn 29 in 7 days and i really am just. over it#i started writing something last night that kinda devolved into a suicide note#talking about how the guilt of existence is tearing me apart. how i have no passions or motivations#i just get up. work. play some video games sometimes. go to bed. repeat.#I've barely slept lately#I've been awake since 2 am on and off crying#I'm tired of existing#I'm tired of not being able to help my friends or help my community or help the world#my existence contributed to the overall problem and I've been struggling to see a way forward#i started stock piling pills again and i know i could kill myself if i got the energy to#but I'm too lazy even for that#and it only brings with it further guilt because what the fuck do i have to be depressed about#i have a great job. a roof over my head. a car. enough money to live (even if it's barely)#some of the people i love most don't even have that. or they're stuck in situations that are just awful for one reason or another#yet I'm the one sitting here like “haha what if i just overdose on every medication in my house :D wouldn't that be funny guys?”#there's a song i love that i reference to my therapist a lot called Gut Punch by Everyone's Worried About Owen#and there's a line that goes “I feel guilty bring hurt cause there are other people hurting and those people really need support right now”#and it just. sums me up a lot. i feel guilty feeling like this when so many people in the world have it so much worse#so many of my friends have it so much worse#who the fuck am i to say it's too hard? it only furthers the cycle of guilt#and i don't know how to make it stop#anyway
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starvity · 1 year ago
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— ☆ sides zb1 only show when they’re with you
gn!reader x zb1 (ot9)
genre: fluff, drabble // warnings: insecurities, jealousy, a bit angsty for gyuv and yujin
author’s note: this was such an interesting request and i had so much fun thinking about what to put for each member!! (★ω★)/ [requested♡]
ੈ✩‧₊˚ jiwoong - his funny side
okay i’m not saying jiwoong isn’t funny usually but he would be the FUNNIEST when he’s with you. he's most of the time someone kind of serious and reserved in public settings but then he would suddenly whisper a funny comment (that only you heard) and you would have to fight internally to not burst out laughing. some other time, you’re just getting ready to sleep, already cuddled up in the blanket while waiting for jiwoong, when his silly side would appear. like he would be brushing his teeth then he would start running around and doing some handstands on you idk???? he’s just a silly guy
ੈ✩‧₊˚ zhang hao - his protective side
hao loves himself a good princess treatment. he would always use his puppy eyes to get whatever he wants from you and you both know it, that you can never win. and that dynamic works for your relationship!! but then sometimes you appear in front of hao looking a bit more tired, stressed, or sick than usual and it’s like something switches in his brain. he will treat you like absolute royalty, that being by doing the chores, giving you a massage, cooking for you, cuddling with you? ANYTHING YOU WANT!!! that always happens when you’re away from him too, walking home or coming back late from a party. he will come pick you up whenever he can or at least ask you to facetime him.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ hanbin - his jealous side
i am certain that not a single person on this planet can dislike this man. he is loved by everyone and everyone knows him. when you two go out on a date he would usually be the one to meet like 5 of his friends on the way. but today it was your turn to randomly meet one of your old high school friends in a store. naturally, they come to hug you and keep an arm around your waist while you two catch up on each other’s life. suddenly, you feel hanbin’s arm slide around your shoulders as he pulls you closer. "i’m their boyfriend, by the way." he says, with a smirk on his face and his eyes turning dark.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ matthew - his insecure side
matthew is your biggest fan. he will always hype you up, telling you that you’re the most beautiful and amazing person he’s ever met. he will brag about you to his friends and talk about you to his family all the time. but when you do the same for him, he immediately gets shy, saying that it isn’t true and that you’re doing too much. you frown, repeating that he’s just perfect and he shakes his head again. you cup his jaw with your hands to make him look at you. "you.are.amazing.matt." you repeat, kissing his lips between every word. he lowers his gaze, a pinkish color settling on his cheeks "you really think so?"
ੈ✩‧₊˚ taerae - his calm side
dating taerae can be a bit exhausting sometimes (especially if you’re introverted) because this man YELLS. like it’s not even that he does it on purpose most of the time, he just has a really prominent voice. he would be playing video games online with his friends and he wouldn’t even hear how loud he is screaming because of his headphones. you throw a pillow at him, monitoring a "silence" motion with your index finger as you were trying to take a nap. after mouthing a sorry, taerae delicately turns off his computer, puts his headphones aside and takes his guitar before sitting next to you on the bed. he strokes your hair, apologising with now the calmest voice before he starts singing you to sleep with his sweet voice.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ ricky - his attentive side
you don't even try to figure out what's on ricky's mind sometimes. he would start talking about some random subject, then starts talking about another, then another... he himself would be distracted with his own words when he's talking to you that he would need to get quiet, blink a few times and let out a "what?" before laughing and trying to focus again. he can be easily distracted but he is also really observant, especially around you. one day he started talking about all the little habits you have that he finds endearing and you realised that you weren't even aware that you had half of these.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gyuvin - his serious side
one thing about gyuvin is that he's always going to make fun of people. and you being his partner gets the WORST treatment. he was on his phone when he suddenly laughs, shoving it in your face. you were horrified when you saw the ugliest picture of you sleeping and started begging him to delete it. he continues laughing as you try to snatch the device out of his hands but, again, he was too tall. without even you knowing, tears roll down your cheeks and the expression on gyuvin's face completely changes. he takes you in his arms, stroking you back and apologising over and over again. later in the evening, you two had a deep conversation and he asks to set boundaries because he never wants to hurt you ever again. (he won't stop making fun of you though, as far as you allow him <3)
ੈ✩‧₊˚ gunwook - his cute side
mister giant baby thinks that his role is to protect you no matter what. he thinks he always need to be tough, and that you're probably just dating him to open jars and carry heavy stuff for you??? "can i be the big spoon today?" you ask, opening your arms for gunwook who had just showered after coming back from practice. he looks at you confused, at first disapproving because blah blah he's the big boy here before sighing and placing his head on your chest. you suddenly see his eyes soften at the sudden contact as you pull him closer. gunwook hums contently and closes his eyes. "not so bad , after all?" you chuckle while stroking his cheek with your thumb. "shut up~" he whines in a cute voice, hiding his face in your neck.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yujin - his emotional side
you know that it is not easy to read yujin like an open book. and since he's also pretty new to the whole relationship thing, he finds it quite hard to express his emotions, especially around you. you were studying in yujin's room while he was practicing his vocals in the bathroom (the acoustic is good, apparently). and you were so focused on studying for your next test that you didn't hear nor see the door open a minute ago. "can i talk to you?" yujin's voice startles you from across the room and you gulp nervously, inviting him to sit next to you. he suddenly leans his head on your shoulder and your hand naturally comes up to pet his head. "i feel like i haven't been doing really good lately, with my vocals and dancing... and like i don't know if i'm even good enough..." you listen attentively to his worries and reassures him that he's doing great and that you're proud of him. (might have teared up a little).
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pasta-in-the-pudding · 8 months ago
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Tw: episodes and stuff, uh thinking simeone is coming to get you or something
HOLY MOLLY I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING🤓🤓
Teen reader that has episodes and they think that someone is coming to get them and they only way you can calm them down is like holding them?? Just comfort basically with Ben, Liu, and jeff, bc yes
Btw love your writing😊😊
Summary: Being comforted by creeps during an episode by having them hold you
Genre: Fluff, minor angst
Warnings: Mentions of episodes/general unhappy emotions
A/n: I LOVE GETTING TO WRITE LIU WITH KIDS GRRR MY FAVORITE CARETAKER <333 Also tysm I'm glad you like it!
Credits: Ben, Liu, Jeff- Creepypasta, Divider- benkeibear, Cover picture- Pinterest
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Ben Drowned
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You had plans to play video games together that day since Ben was off work
And after video games, you were gonna read comics
Ben had went up to the library for a little bit to get said comics, and came back 30 minutes later
You had said you'd be in his room by then, but you weren't
He wasn't too concerned though, maybe you were just a little late
So he sets the books down on the floor next to his bed and heads over to your room
It is completely empty, and it looks like you had been trying to move somewhere fast by how disheveled the room was
He opens the door a little wider to step into the room, hoping to look for you when he hears a sharp gasp come from the bathroom
He raises a brow and steps over to the door, knocking and waiting for a response
When he doesn't get one he begins to get a little concerned "Y/n, are you ok in there?"
He then hears what sounds like a gun cocking, so he phases through the door without warning
When he does, he is immediately shot at by you, but of course the bullets go right through him
After maybe 3 shots, you drop the gun and begin to sob uncontrollably
You are curled up in your bathtub, knees to your chest and shaking violently
Ben comes to sit in the bath with you, hesitating before beginning to rub your back
"Woah, what's going on? What was the gun in here for?"
You try to speak but it all comes out jumbled and fast "Iwasscaredsomeonewasgonnagetmesoihidinthebathtubandgottheguntobesafe" You take a long breath "It was so scary!!"
Ben did not understand a word of what you had said, but he's not gonna make you repeat it because of how stressed you are
So he instead straightens out his legs and makes his form more physical and solid, so he can drag you up into his lap and cradle you
"Hey, let's calm down ok? Whatever happened, I'm here now, so you don't have to be scared. I promise" He says as he begins to wipe tears from your face
You already begin to calm down, your breathing slowing and the tears almost stopping entirely
A few minutes pass before he speaks again "See? You're alright. Barely even crying now" he says with a smile
"Come on, let's go play video games now. That always helps me feel less scared."
Homicidal Liu
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Liu, being a caretaker is almost always swarmed by kids
He tries his best to keep up with everyone, making sure they're taken care of and happy, but sometimes it's hard to get to everyone
It was mid-afternoon at this point, and he had thought that maybe he had some time to himself when he realized that he hadn't checked in on you today
Logically he knows that you are old enough to take care of yourself, but he still likes to check in and make sure you're ok
So he gets up and heads to your room, but when he arrives you aren't there
He thinks that maybe you had gotten out of bed to get food or something until he hears a shifting noise from the closet
With a piqued interest, he heads over and opens one of the doors cautiously
It takes him a moment to realize that you are on the floor, curled up in a ball with your head under your hands, and violently shaking
He frowns and crouches down, lowering his voice so he doesn't startle you "What are you doing in here? Are you ok?"
You shake your head but don't say anything, you can't
As a caretaker, he is told any necessary medical information about the children so he can do his job better
So he is aware that you can have episodes sometimes and how he can help
So seeing that you are currently in one, he begins to take off his cardigan, setting it to the side and pulling you into his lap
Once you are settled, he spreads his cardigan over you making sure you are all covered
He begins to stroke your hair and shush you, telling you that you are safe and that no one is coming for you
Once you are calm enough to communicate, he asks if you'd like any water, and if you'd like to stay with him for the rest of the day
The choice is yours as to what you do, and he will respect your decision either way
Jeff The Killer
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Jeff is a very naturally protective person, so he told you early on that if you ever felt like you were in danger that you needed to come find and tell him about it
He doesn't care what he's doing, you are always the most important thing
So when you feel the anxiety creeping in, you immediately head to his room to tell him about it
He is asleep, and is a very hard sleeper at that, but you know he'll be upset if you don't at least try to wake him up and tell him
So you crawl over to the side of the bed he's on and shake him a little
After a few moments of shaking him, he begins to wake up, squinting and sleepily asking what you want
You explain that you think you're about to have an episode, and he sighs loudly
He doesn't like being woke up, but he also really cares about you
So he sits up, rubs his face and beckons you into his arms
You silently crawl onto him, and once you are comfy he lays back down
"You know there's no body comin' to get ya" he mutters into your head
"I know, but my brain doesn't" you whisper
"Well just know that I'm scarier than anybody that could want to take you. Even if there was someone coming for you, I promise they'd never even get the chance to finish getting the idea through their head before I take care of 'em." He says
He then covers your eyes with his hands "Now go to sleep, nerd. I'm tired"
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writing-blog-iguess · 10 months ago
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Online Matchup 9
Summery: Christmas has come and gone, but for y/n it couldn’t have gone fast enough. Y/N is going through some stuff, but so is Jason. That’s okay, they have each other.
Warning: angst, fluff, y/n is going through some stuff. So is Jason.
A/n: being left out from your siblings isn’t fun, 0/10 wouldn’t recommend. I know there are multiple versions of what happened to Jason, but I took this one from Batman: under the red hood. Even then, I there’s a chance I forgot or twisted a little.
And as always, feedback is always welcome!
Taglist: @teapartydreams
ao3
Series master list
——————
Christmas
Opening your hotel room door, you dropped your bags once you stepped in, and stood there as the door closed behind you. Your Christmas was just as you expected it to be, and you aren’t surprised how it ended.
Rubbing your face with your hands a bit too hard, you wanted to sleep but you doubted you could.
Teeth, shower, clothes, bed. Teeth, shower, clothes, bed. Teeth, shower, clothes, bed. You repeated in your mind as you forced yourself to move.
Not that you wanted to do any of that, but needs must and all.
After grabbing your pj’s, you made your way to the bathroom and stared at the tub for a few minutes before making the decision of taking a bath instead.
While the tub was being filled, you brushed your teeth and other duties before stepping into the bath. You sank down, and let your mind wonder
Your morning had been fine, fun even. After breakfast, you all went to the living room to exchange presents. Since it was secret Santa, you had to guess who had who. It was fun, laughing at Ellie for thinking you had her when your brother did.
Afterwards, you played some card games before helping your mom with lunch. Everything was fine, it was fine. Until you walked past your sister's room and nasal something that wasn’t there before.
“When’d you get this?” you asked, stepping into the room to take a closer look at it. It was a model car, you weren’t sure what model though.
“Huh? Oh, Dad gave it to me,” Ellie answered, going back to her video game. “Everyone got one.”
“I didn’t,” you said, rubbing your nose.
“Thought you did.”
“Nope,” you said, turning around to find mom.
You shouldn’t have looked for her. Shouldn’t have asked why everyone got a present from dad.
Should have left well enough alone, but no you needed answers. And you got them, and a broken heart too.
Emerging from the water, you gasped for breath, taking in lungfuls of air. “Why does he have to be such an asshole sometimes?” you whispered to yourself. Not having an answer, you finished up your bath and crawled into bed.
Lying in bed, you curled onto your side and let the tears you’ve been holding all day go.
You were almost asleep when your phone made a sound. Scrubbing your face and reaching blindly for your phone. You let out a strangled noise when you read the name.
Why does he have such impeccable timing when it comes to your moods? Sometimes you wonder if he spies on you. But the thought is ridiculous and you shoo it away.
Jason (8:30pm)
Merry Christmas
Y/N
Merry Christmas
How was your day?
Jason
It wasn’t bad
There was a fight over which movie to watch
Popcorn was thrown
It was brutal
I think pillows were used too
Y/N
Sounds better then my day
The phone fell from your hands when it started ringing. Honestly you shouldn’t have been surprised.
Rubbing your eyes, you reached out and answered before it could go to voicemail. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he answered. There was silence for a minute before he started talking about his day.
“Honestly, you should have seen Dick’s face. He claims to be so graceful, but tripping over the couch, he never looked so offended. Like he thought the couch was just after him and no one else.”
You laughed, feeling the weight of the day ease from your chest as Jason continued to talk. And you knew what he was doing, distracting you from your day, and asking about once you feel better.
And the jerk, it’s working. So it was only a matter of time before you spilled the beans. And, to your surprise, you were okay with it.
“What’d he do? Fight the couch?” you asked once you stopped laughing.
“Wanted too, but Bruce shut that down,” Jason answered. “Not sure how you would even fight a couch though. It probably would look stupid.”
“I’m sure if anyone could figure it out, it’d be your brothers.”
“You’re probably right. Dick has hung from the chandelier a few times.”
“What? Why?”
“Don’t know and I’m not going to ask him for you,” Jason warned, though you could hear his smile.
“Booo.”
Silence fell when the conversation tampered off. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jason asked softly. You sighed and rolled onto your back, staring at the ceiling blankly. “Is it your dad?” he probed when you didn’t answer.
“Yeah. It was fine. Today was fine, everything was fine. But then I don’t know,” you said, covering your eyes with a hand that wasn’t holding the phone. “Why does he have to be such an asshole?”
“What did he do?”
“Nothing, at least I don’t think so. I don’t know… I discovered that he bought presents for my siblings. When I asked my mom about it, she said that he had said that she wanted them to have something to remember him by in case this was the last Christmas we would all have together.”
“But you didn’t get one,” Jason said, filling in what you didn’t say.
“Like was I such a horrible child growing up? Did I do something to him to make him hate me?” you asked, voice cracking as tears pooled in your eyes. “Is there something wrong with me?” you said, voice small.
“No,” Jason replied without thinking about it. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Whatever it is your dad is going through, or whatever it is, you are not to blame. You once told me that you and your dad don’t get along because you’re too similar. Maybe he sees himself in you and that’s why he is the way he is. But it’s not your fault.”
You were crying now and couldn’t stop the tears. You rolled over and hugged the pillow tightly. “It doesn’t hurt any less.”
“I know,” Jason whispered. “Life isn’t fair but we do what we can and be thankful for the people in our lives. And love them for who they are.”
“Speaking from experience?” you asked, sniffing.
“Yeah. Someone I know said that Bruce was trying, that I should let him. And I’m trying it’s slow going, but at least it’s going.”
“Sounds nice,” you mumbled sleepily. You had stopped crying, and wiped your eyes.
“It is,” he said. And he switched the topic, causing a small smile to creep on your face. You listened as he talked, and found that you liked his voice. And how lucky you were to have found him.
You fell asleep as Jason talked about everything and nothing.
Some hours later, you awoke to a knock. Startled slightly, you look around confusedly before remembering you were in a hotel room and not your apartment.
The knocking continued, and you turned towards the door, eyes narrowing as if you could see through the door.
For a second you thought about going back to sleep, but you didn’t want the front desk calling you about the unnecessary noise at three am.
Sighing, you rolled off the bed and dragged your feet towards the door and opened it. You stared dumbly at Jason as he stood there giving you a small smile.
“Why are you here?” you asked before your brain could find its filter.
“You sounded sad,” he said, taking a step forward. “And no one should be alone when they’re sad. And it’s Christmas, I thought you could use the company.”
You’re not sure if he’s standing in front of you or the emotional stress of the day or if it’s everything that started the tears. But you know you're not surprised that you do start crying.
You barely see the alarm look on his face before he has his arms wrapped around you in a hug, and you're clinging onto him like a lifeline.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” he whispered, genty moving the two of you into the room. The door falls shut behind him, and he’s gently rocking you, arms tightening around you. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
After a while, when your tears have stopped, you take a deep shuddering breath. “Feeling better?” Jason asked, rubbing your back. You shrugged, and buried your face further into his jacket.
“I need to stop crying on you,” you muttered, feeling him laugh though you smiled.
“I don’t mind,” he said, hugging you tightly. “Nice to know that you feel safe enough to let yourself cry when you're with me.”
“I always feel safe when I’m with you,” you said without hesitation. “Did you drive all the way here?” you asked after a minute.
“Can neither confirm nor deny that,” he answered. You moved back slightly to look at him. He gave you a smile and turned you around to push you into the bathroom. “Go wash up, and let’s go to bed. We can talk once you feel a little better.”
You hummed ready to argue, but you shook your head and did what he suggested. After washing your face, you took a minute to yourself, finding that you did feel better after crying.
Taking a deep breath, you left the bathroom to find Jason sitting on the bed, changed in pjs. “Seriously, did you just ditch your family just to comfort me?”
“Like I said,” he started, reaching over to grab you by the hips and pulled you towards him. Immediately, you wrapped your arms around his head, running a hand through his hair. Jason wrapped your waist and closed his eyes at the feeling of nails lightly scratching his head. “I’ll always ditch my family for you. Doesn’t matter where you are, you can count on me being there.”
“Saying things like that might get you a kiss,” you teased. Jason hummed, and tipped himself backwards onto the bed, bringing you with.
“Yeah, but I’m okay with waiting. Besides I’m tired, I don't think I have the energy to kiss you. Because if I do, I don’t think I’ll stop.”
“Fair enough,” you mumbled, moving around until you were laying on his chest with his arms around you. A comfortable silence feels between you as you let the sound of Jason’s heartbeat lull you to sleep.
“I’m glad you're here,” you mumbled just before falling into a deep sleep.
“Me too,” he whispered, placing a kiss on the top of your head before falling asleep.
You’re jarred awake a few hours later, though it only feels like a few minutes. You blink slowly, trying to figure out what has woken you up.
Eyes roaming around the room, you tried to find out what woke you up. When nothing jumped out, you closed your eyes and snuggled into the blanket. But that’s when you heard it. A pained groan came from behind you.
Sitting up, you turned to see Jason tangled up in the blanket, face twisted in pain. You reached out to wake him, but froze at the idea. You weren’t sure what would happen if you woke him up, if it was a good idea or not.
But Jason was in pain and that was worse than any night terror. Besides, what’s the worst he could do? Elbow you? Not really worried about the outcome, you reached out and shook him awake. “Jason?”
Evidently, being on your back with his hands snaked around your throat was not what you expected. To say you were surprised would be an understatement.
You don't know how it happened. One minute you're kneeling on the bed shaking Jason awake, the next, he tackled you onto the bed, win your airways restricted.
"Jason," you choked out, but he was not responding. And you can see it in his eyes that he was in a different place than here. You wondered where, but right now you can't question it. "Jason, please. It's me," you managed to get out only for his grip to tighten.
You're starting to panic slightly, afraid this might have lasting damage if you don't do something. Trying not to let the panic over take your thoughts you wiggle out one of your legs that's pinged underneath Jason’s legs.
"S...sorry," you choked out before kneeing him in the balls. Not hard enough so hurt, but enough that his grip on you loosened. With that, you plant your foot on his chest and push him off you. Shoving him until he’s off of the bed.
You roll away and onto to floor gasping for breath, only turning around when Jason calls your name
"I.. I don't know what happened,” Jason said, staring at you in disbelief. He took a step towards you and you couldn't help but flinch at the movement. Hurt crossed his features before he sealed that away. And your heart lurched at that. Like you were the one who had hurt him. And maybe you had.
"Right. Um, I need a minute alone," he said and all but ran out of the room.
At a loss of what to do, you just sit there on the floor, rubbing at your sone neck.
Half an hour into his sulking, he hears the door to the roof access open. He doesn’t have to turn around to know that it’s you, so he tracks your movement by listening to your feet crunching on the fresh snow.
He’s a little annoyed that you found him so fast, but pushes the feeling away. You had given him time for him to be alone. But not too much that he knows if he had, he’ll spiral into self deprecation.
His shoulders tense when you stand behind him, and relax when you drape his jacket onto his shoulders. You don’t touch him, and he can’t tell if he’s relieved by that or longing for you to. Maybe both, but he won’t voice it.
He watches from the corner of his eye as you turn to lean against the ledge of the roof he’s sitting on. You're not standing too close and facing the other way, a thoughtful expression on your face. Like you’re trying to solve world peace.
He spots the scarf around your neck, and something twinges inside of him. He knows what’s underneath because he’s the one who put those bruises there.
He shifts his eyes towards the horizon, and shuffles a little closer to you, you don’t mention it. For a few minutes, silence surrounds both of you, while Jason tries to figure out a way to say he’s sorry.
“Wanna talk about it?” you asked, breaking the silence first. Jason shrugged and he could see you studying him from the corner of your eye. He keeps his face neutral, or tries too at least. He’s tired and he’s done hiding.
“Kind of,” he answered, “but I don’t know…”
“How? Like the words are there but they get stuck?” you finished for him when he trailed off.
“Yeah.”
Silence falls, and the only things Jason can hear are the early morning commuters and your breathing as you take a deep breath.
“Then tell the moon,” you say after a while. Jason turned to look at you with raised eyebrows. “What?”
“You want me to tell the moon?” he asked, and you could only shrug. “It’s nearing sunrise, Y/N.”
“Exactly,” you said, turning to look at him with a small smile. “Tell the moon as it’s going down. That way it can carry your secrets away.”
“Why?”
Jason watches as your cheek colour, and you turn to look away. “I had a friend once, and we told each other everything. Sometimes, when it got too much for either of us and we didn’t want to know what the other was thinking. So we would turn off the lights and tell our secrets in the dark. There was no judgment from either of us, no arguments. Just the space between us and our secrets.”
Silence settles again, as he mulls over your words. After a time, he nods. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah, let’s give it a shot,” he said with a smile, which you return. Before he could start, you sat down and shuffled a little so you were sitting behind Jason.
Hugging your knees to your chest, you ignored the cold snow seeping into your clothes, you leaned your head back onto his backside and waited.
You felt his laugh more than heard it, and your heart warmed at the sound. “Whenever you’re ready.”
He didn’t talk right away, and you didn’t push. Knowing that this was probably something heavy and needed to find the right words. So you watched the sky in front of you. Watched it change colours, and marveled at how something you see everyday can be this breathtaking.
You're in the middle of studying the colours of the sky when Jason finally talks.
“When I was fifteen, I was in an accident,” he starts with, but the way he said accident made you think it was anything but. But you don’t press, not now, not when he’s finally opening up. “The building I was in blew up with me in it. No one made it in time to save me, and I was…stuck I guess. So I couldn’t have left either.”
You sucked in a breath as you imagined a fifteen year old Jason, scared and alone. Fire surrounded him, as he lay motionless in the middle of it. It was not a pleasing picture, and you closed your eyes to fight it off.
Jason leaned back putting a little weight onto your head, and it brought a little comfort. Knowing that he was here and alive.
“I’m not sure about the details after but…I’m pretty sure I died.”
“Then how?” you whispered before you could stop the words passing through your lips.
“Have you ever heard of the Lazarus pit?” You shook your head and could feel the shaky breath that went through Jason. “Basically it brings people back from the dead. The leader of League of Assassins uses it to heal his wounds and stays practically immortal. They had gotten a hold of my body and brought me back.”
“But not without consequences,” you mumbled when the silence got too loud.
“Yeah. When I woke up, I had this need to spill blood. Didn’t matter who it was, good or bad, I just wanted to hurt them. Kill them even. So I stayed there and they helped me control it. But there are days where it gets bad that I’m too afraid to leave the apartment.”
“How long were you there?”
“A few years. Five at the most I think,” he answered, “I came back when I realized that Bruce thought I was still dead. I didn’t take it well, neither did he.”
“I take it that’s why you have such a strained relationship with him?” you guessed. Jason hummed but didn’t elaborate and you didn’t push.
Silence blanketed the two of you as he left you alone to process everything. But there was something more to the story, something that would tie all this up. The reason why everything that had happened, happened. But you didn’t push, sensing that he wasn’t ready to say. So you promised to wait until he was.
“I won’t ever hurt you,” Jason voiced, bringing you out of your thoughts. “I promise, I’ll never hurt you again,” he vowed and you unconsciously brought a hand to your neck and tried not to wince.
“What happened last night shouldn’t have happened. I am so sorry for hurting you. But I promise I won’t hurt you ever again.” You could hear the unasked question in his promise.
Do you still trust me?
“I know.”
Yes, you answered, without a doubt.
And as if to prove it, you shifted over and heaved yourself onto the ledge beside him. You wrapped an arm around his, and rested your head on his shoulder. After a moment, he rested his head on yours. A silent comfort for the two of you.
And the two of you sat there in the cold, as one watched the moon sink, and the other watched the sun rise. And a heavy secret that sat between the two of you.
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ghostherlig · 1 year ago
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some more random hcs!!
bc im going to be away from my pc for like a week and wont be able to write until i get back home :')
please enjoy some more poly earth champs 😌 (under the cut bc idk how long this is going to be- update: it's long :))
raiden picks up sayings and swears from each of his bfs- the first thing he picked up was kenshi's small curses in japanese, to which kenshi, when he first heard, gasped and asked "who taught you that?!?" before realizing raiden was repeating what kenshi had said a few (thousand 🙄✋️) times before
raiden also picks up johnny's internet lingo/slang and sometimes uses it- also picked up the "get in the bed" jokes from johnny (ie, "i'll show you (insert adjective here), get in the bed")
lao and raiden already talk like they're the same person, but raiden sometimes mimicks how lao says things- like tone, intonation, sometimes will even pitch his voice to match lao's
kung lao is a fiend when it comes to video games- has the most number of smash bros wins and wears that crown with pride (lao mains king dedede and kirby, johnny plays king k rool and bayonetta, raiden plays ice climbers and pikachu, and kenshi plays mr game n watch (theres a blind joke in there somewhere) and luigi)
kenshi actually really likes playing games- he's a very playful and coy person at heart and when he's comfortable his cheeky nature appears and always gets his bfs to laugh and swoon- he's also very funny when he's comfy
when johnny gets super comfy, he coos similar to a pigeon- it's always quiet and usually unintentional but whenever one of his bfs ctach the sound they melt- kenshi rumbles when he's comfy, almost like a purr before it trails into a sigh (and then a nap), lao stretches out and does this minute long sigh, and raiden grumbles before he fully settles
their coffee/tea preferences!! johnny needs his coffee, and he usually does it without syrups- just black coffee with extra espresso shots or a plain latte- johnny got lao into coffee but lao likes the fun syrups a lot and really loves when johnny makes him caramel macchiatos- raiden and kenshi are the resident tea drinkers 😌 raiden drinks mostly green tea since it's a nice boost for him in the morning, but kenshi has discovered london fogs and he cant go back- he saves his green teas for the afternoon or evening when he wants that lil boost
kenshi and johnny are both fantastic cooks, but raiden and lao can bake like no one's business- raiden really enjoys making bread and lao likes making cookies- often they can be found gossiping with sugar and butter beating in the stand mixer
kenshi will make ramen for his bfs during winter or when one of them is sick- it's his family's recipe and he's perfected it
johnny has the singing voice of someone on radio in the 40's and all of his bfs swoon whenever they catch him singing, especially when it's later in the evening and johnny is dancing in the kitchen to sinatra
raiden plays the kalimba!! he knows all sorts of songs from howl's moving castle to claire de lune and he usually plays in the afternoon- kenshi will always smile when he's drinking tea in the living room and hears the soft tinkling from upstairs
favorite sodas!! lao loves dr pepper- johnny is a coke drinker through and through, raiden likes sprite and ginger ale, and kenshi usually gets root beer or fruity sodas
the first time johnny took kenshi to a Mitsuwa the man was skeptical, but he found it had a lot of stuff he missed from home- johnny would've bought the whole store if it made kenshi happy
johnny begged madam bo for a few of her recipes (lao and raiden's favs) and he spent weeks with her near perfecting them before he cooked them for lao and raiden at home- they both cried (and so did johnny)
when kenshi is off around the world working with jax, lao will call him spontaneously just to fill him in, usually when johnny and raiden are napping or when he really misses kenshi- sometimes kenshi can hear how much lao misses him even though he doesnt say it :(( he always promises he'll be home soon and will blow a kiss through the phone
johnny has a huge walk in closet that he encourages his bfs to use also- johnny loves when any of his bfs "accidently" grab one of his shirts and wear it for a day- they all end up wearing each other's clothes anyway
raiden and lao are plant dads- they have a lucky bamboo plant in the kitchen and a few trees and a mint plant scattered through out the house- there's also eucalyptus in their giant shared bathroom which johnny cannot live without now that he has it
kenshi is the reason the other three love the smell of incense- kenshi used to burn some whenever he was really stressed (like once a week to a month) and he always smelled like incense- now his bfs will burn some when they miss him
johnny loves when his bfs sleepily talk to him in their native languages- he's picked up a bit from each of them and can make out a few sentences but really just loves how they sound-
johnny does math for fun (phd in quantum mechanics) and sometimes his bfs will find notes around the house of numbers and equations that mean nothing to them- but they keep a pile in a drawer somewhere bc they like johnny's loopy hand writing
johnny will slip into german when he's drunk- like full accent and everything- he's barely conversational in german sober though so when he watches videos of himself the next morning he has no idea what he's saying
kenshi hates bugs- like cant stand roaches or spiders- for the longest time johnny dealt with them for him when they lived together
lao makes fun of kenshi for jumping or getting anxious around spiders and roaches but he also gets jumpy and anxious around spiders and roaches
kenshi has his phone auto read texts and johnny will send awful texts when the house is in dead silence- like johnny will be upstairs or in the bathroom and kenshi will be in the kitchen or living room making food or relaxing and suddenly his phone will go off with nonsense or pick up lines over and over again and johnny is laughing somewhere in the house and kenshi is sighing trying not to laugh
raiden likes making mead at home- he's also dabbled in making beer and wine but he prefers mead bc he likes how simple the recipe is and how he can switch out the fruits depending on the season
johnny just doesnt like regular cows milk, so he always has a milk substitute available for himself- at first he was all about almond and oat milk but then he realized he could just use coconut milk and coconut cream for things.... he's a changed man
they all patch each other up after missions- usually it's a quiet affair and they all just soak up being home and safe together again, but other times it can be loud and boisterous or sometimes an argument will break out if someone was injured for a stupid reason (like when johnny broke a rib taking a hit for lao, or when raiden almost got thrown off of a cliff after taking on like five assailants at once)
johnny runs super hot, kenshi runs super cold, lao's thermoregulation is honestly impressive, and raiden says he's fine but his fingers and toes get cold hella fucking fast
despite lao being the one with the chakram hat, johnny's hands are the most scarred thanks to split knuckles, clumsy moments with sharp objects, his loose use of knife safety while cooking, and how often kenshi and him used to spar at wu shi
the only bf without a single tattoo on his skin is lao- kenshi has his body murals, johnny has a few small ones that can be covered by make up, and raiden has a small smiley face on his ass cheek after losing a bet to lao
when talking about his bfs to jax, kenshi never specifies until jax asks- so kenshi will go on and on about how one of his bfs has been getting into this new show, and jax will have to use context clues to be able to tell if it's johnny, raiden, or lao-
johnny plays with the press a bit by mentioning his bfs in passing but almost as if he's talking about one dude- it's a whole thing when he breaks that he's in a polycule
kenshi doesnt like being on camera, so often photos with kenshi are cropped or taken with his head/face/tattoos out of frame- the most kenshi interacts with fans is when johnny does short lives and kenshi will talk to them there while johnny reads the comments to him
raiden and lao always crash johnny's lives- lao and johnny will chat with ppl and raiden usually sits nearby but also doesnt love being on camera- so he's given his privacy unless he tells johnny otherwise
the four are well known at the closest ER- johnny is very clumsy and living with antique swords, a chakram hat, several super sharp kitchen knives, and a lot of glass antiques as well can lead to a lot injuries- the night nurse knows the four of them fairly well and johnny is always sure to send her little gifts during the holidays and on her birthday- she's like an honorary fifth member of their lil family
unless he's cooking, going out, or working out, raiden leaves his hair down- all three of his bfs love running their hands through it
johnny does skin care nights for his bfs- he pampers himself and all of them with face masks and special treatments, they make a night of it and order in and put some music on while they chill in comfy clothes and indulge in self care
kenshi is a master at massages- his bfs are always spoiled if they complain of back pain or sore muscles-
lao will make cookie dough if he cant sleep, and several times all three of his bfs have caught him up at 4 am leant over the counter mixing chocolate chips into cookie dough before shoving the bowl in the fridge and getting dragged back upstairs
kenshi smokes sometimes when he's stressed or needs to think smth over- johnny used to smoke and sometimes joins kenshi outside just for the smell, though johnny has stolen cigarettes before when he was a little too stressed with work
raiden and lao are always dragging johnny and kenshi away from work late at night- they both overwork themselves and it's always "one more thing" until it's 2 am and then raiden and lao go and drag them off to bed
lao has music going 24/7- it's impossible to catch him without an ear bud in (he listens to all sorts of music but johnny and kenshi introduced him to rap and dad rock and that's a good portion of his music)
lao also listens to a lot of hip hop and can be caught dancing around the house to whatever is playing
that's all i got for now- it's almost 2 am for me so now i must go to bed lmao, but i love polychamps so much 🥺💖
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cheesecakeislazy · 7 months ago
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I feel like nobody is going to ever see this. But I just need to get some BEN Drowned headcanons out here-
1. He always wears his goofy ass hat because he never brushes his hair and it helps hide the absurd mess it is
2. Whenever Ben feels shocked, angry, or an overwhelming emotion, his pupils disappear leaving a black void(?)
3. His voice is naturally glitchy, it’s like his vocal cords are a messed up record player. Examples; He repeats words like a broken record occasionally, he tends to stutter pretty often, his voice has a constant static undertone, he has voice cracks but they sound cooler.
4. Virgin af
5. Short king (he’s 5’5)
6. Smokes weed and listens to Hyperpop and electronic music
7. He also loves video game soundtracks
8. He doesn’t technically need to sleep as a technology ghost, so he tends to pull all-nighters constantly
9. When he does sleep, he either has dreams about drowning in an abyss of water or other things he can’t remember
10. He listens to video game OST’s when he goes to bed (usually Minecraft or Legend of Zelda)
11. He loves the Zelda franchise but has a small grudge towards Majora’s Mask
12. He also doesn’t need to eat food, but he likes to anyways- it helps him feel human.
13. He doesn’t look exactly like Link. His blonde hair is a little pastier and dirtier (color wise lol) and his face still mostly looks like his
14. He’s toned. He hates being made fun of for his height so he started working his ass off at the gym to try and get some muscle
15. He loves brownies
16. Sour cream and onion is his favorite chip flavor
17. He is cracked at nearly every game he plays (he totally sucks at Among Us)
18. He can only take showers, baths scare him too much
19. He actually likes the beach, he just hates swimming to far out
20. He loves mint chocolate chip ice cream and Jeff thinks Ben is the devil because if it
21. Ben is bisexual, his motto is “Hole = Fucking Goal”
22. Ben doesn’t know how to flirt, so he just acts like himself (aka a dumbass)
23. He’s not a pervert unless he’s in a very good relationship, he makes sex jokes 24/7 but that’s because his humor is 13 year old boy humor
24. Ben is in his 20’s
25. Ben is a technology ghost. He’s a dead person aka a ghost. But his spirit lingered and possessed a gaming cartridge. Once his spirit was released from the game, he was able to transverse the internet. Computer, phone, tv, anything with a screen that’s connected to the wi-fi he can go through as he pleases
26. He’s really good at standing still like a statue
27. The Blood that leaks from his eyes is minimal most of the time and can be wiped off easily, he just chooses not to because he’s lazy
28. When Ben gets upset or any emotion to make him cry, the blood that oozes from his eyes literally thickens and bursts out
29. Ben hates bugs and he lets out a girly ass shriek when he sees one
30. He can teleport a decent distance, but he usually only teleports within the mansion (slender mansion AU)
31. He can summon fire from his hands but he doesn’t use it too often
32. Sometimes when he gets really mad, he unintentionally sets a fire (lots of controllers have been burned)
33. Ben can manipulate electricity, it makes his entire body warmer as he does it, Fire only makes his hands warm.
34. He tends to constantly have the electricity powers going on at a small level. Not enough to affect his electronics but enough to give you a small shock if you touched him. It gives him a sense of human like warmth
35. He always wears gloves because his hands are so frigid he can barely feel them.
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what was your day like when you were younger (like when you, Wil, Techno, and Phil all lived together, with Schlatt as your neighbor and all that)??? :3
It would depend on the day!!! A lot of the time the Twins and Schlatt went to school :] Tubbo, too, but he went to a much Younger school. I was a very very sick kid so I had to stay home a lot. It would be just me and Phil — sometimes Mom, if she was able to visit, but being Death gets busy :(
So Phil would usually make me some kind of soup!! BIG big batches so the older kids could have some too when they got home :) he’d make me some soup and watch a movie or two with me, then go off to do job-activity like. Idk paperwork or killing people. Whatever an Angel of Death does for a living. I never really asked :\
When the older kids would get home, Wilbur would get CLINGY, obviously 🙄🙄🙄 smooch all over my face and whine or whatever like a loser. It was very cruel that he rarely ever got sick after doing that.
Schlatt would go pick up Tubbo, and I’d get my Sick Man Setup moved to the living room. If Phil was home by then he’d get fussy until the twins and the Underscores would eat, so they usually got a bowl of soup or some sandwiches.
Then we’d play games 😊😊😊 it’s some pretty good memories I have, even if they’re a little fuzzy. Sometimes it would be video-games on the tv — Schlatt and Techno especially would get competitive with those. Wilbur preferred board games and was especially good at monopoly. If I wasn’t sick, we’d go out in the back yard and play out there instead for a few hours.
I liked when we’d play card games most, though :) board games were very fun, but me and Tubbo liked cards the most. Especially because we learned how to cheat and only Techno would catch on 🤭 but he thought it was funny so he’d stay quiet.
Techno usually got put on dish-work while Wilbur took me back to bed once things got dark outside. Sometimes she’d stay in for an extra half hour or something and just snuggle up until I fell asleep, or I’d show her my Animal Crossing town.
If Schlatt was going to stay longer, Tubbo would come take a nap with me, too :) so that was always fun. Looking back he probably was doing some bullshit bad habit with Wilbur or getting competitive with Techno again, and not wanting to leave on a loss. But I’m not really sure.
Phil would come to tuck us in and kiss us goodnight, even if Tubbo or I had fallen asleep earlier before hand. So that was nice. He’d leave a crow in case we needed anything, but it would usually get tired and snuggle up, too. Unless it was Brian. Brian would not snuggle 🙄🙄
If I was well enough the next day, I’d go with Tubbo to school :) but otherwise, I’d just repeat it the next day. Watch movies, eat soup, play games, and fuck around in Animal Crossing while I rotted. When I eventually got better around middle school age, it was… harder, since my school skills were pretty behind :( but in my defense. I was constantly sick!!!!
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explosionshark · 1 year ago
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What's your top 5 impactful artists? Impactful is up to interpretation here. Or top 5 impactful albums. You get to pick 😁
ooh i think i'll go chronologically here
linkin park - i was like? 12 when meteora came out? it was a life changing record. that was the age i was truly starting to get into music and meteora was the first CD i picked out for myself that i became properly obsessed with. i had a burned copy of hybrid theory i got from one of my friends but though i loved it, nothing compared to the blissful angst of laying in bed listening to "somewhere i belong" on repeat
nevermore - this whole band but specifically the album dead heart in a dead world really were life-defining albums. they were my favorite band for many years. this band made me a metalhead. i grew up listening to them (my dad was always a big fan) but that never made them feel any less like a life changing discovery i made for myself. i used to listen to their music and read the lyric booklets with a pocket dictionary in my lap so i could look up the words i didn't understand. i got one of my cousins around my age really into them at the same time and that became this massive thing we bonded over for years. i feel like i owe every good thing in my life that came out of my relationship to metal to this band specifically. hugely, hugely important.
american football - the next biggest band to mark a massive change in my life and my music taste was probably these guys. they were my jumping off point into emo, which marked a major expansion of my music taste and interests after a solid few yeas of just being a metal guy. THE record would be the self titled, of course. nothing since they've reformed has hit quite as well. there are other emo bands that had a huge impact on me, but the fact is i wouldn't have gotten into braid or rainer maria or whoever else if amfootball hadn't opened that door for me first, so they're the band that gets to go on this list.
amanda palmer/dresden dolls - trust me i'm well aware of the problems associated with these guys but it doesn't change the fact that they were, at a time when i really needed a reason to live, artists with a life-saving impact on me. if that's a hyperbolic statement, then it's only barely so. i was truly obsessed. went to every show i could. went to coachella for the AFP set, met amanda after, teared up telling her how much her music meant to me when i was struggling with the aftermath of coming out to my family and her kindness to me in that interaction helped motivate me to come out on the drive home to the person i went to the festival with. sometimes the right band at the right time in your life can really be a life preserver. despite everything else, i'll always feel grateful for that. so glad i didn't get the tattoo i was contemplating at one time, though
screaming females - in terms of impact i couldn't write this list without including this band. literally, tangibly changed my life to be a fan of theirs. back in 2015 i posted some fanfic for this video game i liked, got a nice message from someone complimenting my work, clicked through to their blog and immediately see a photoset of marissa paternoster playing a bloody guitar and immediately messaged them back to talk about music and life is strange. we had an immediate, profound, and powerful connection. 8 years on @holdsteady is STILL my best friend. i wrote a story with her. we've been to shows together. we ate street hot dogs together. i taught her to make potato wedges. she introduced me to some of my favorite bands. i made chili for her dad. i lived in her basement for a month. i literally don't know what kind of person i would be or what my life would look like if we never met. and we owe it all to the fact that we both fuckin love tiny lesbians that shred on guitar.
this was such a great ask! i'd love to hear your answers. actually, i'd love to hear from a bunch of different people. soooo
@necrotic-biotic, @angrypedestrian, @holdsteady, @nataliving, @uneasyhearts33, @gothprentiss, @100percentdirtball, @shewhosleepsalotincemeteries, @morhdd, @chaseprice if any of you guys wanna do this too i'd love to see it (but no pressure)
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t-5secondsart · 1 year ago
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Dearest smash, could you walk us through a regular day in your life?
"Uh, okay? I wake up. I make breakfast, or I just take breakfast if someone's left something out. I usually do a light workout for about an hour. I clock in to work. Sometimes I'll watch the other matches, but I usually just chill in the breakroom waiting for mine. Sometimes I'll battle Leaf if she doesn't have a match today, and Phi is up for it. I fight whoever I'm sighed up to fight that day. It's usually scripted, so that's not super stressful. After the match... I'll usually hang out with whoever's still hanging around. Sometimes we get dinner together. Then go back to my apartment. Play some video games, maybe. Or watch a movie. Go back to bed. Rinse, repeat. Unless there's some huge world-ending threat, like Galeem, my days are pretty repetitive. I have days off, but I usually just spend those relaxing."
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augustinewrites · 3 years ago
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dad suna who has to go on an away game for a few days and has to leave his precious girl behind but you send rin pic and vids everyday of his daughter and when he comes back he immediately comes to hug her but she starts squirming cause she cant recognise him so he does their thing to make her remember (like idk blowing kisses on cheek or something cute :<)
also im sorry im sending in so much dad suna
i’m sobbing what the heck 😭 precious suna suki is back!
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suna's never been the sentimental type. he doesn't often get emotional over things or people. (no, he wasn't crying at your wedding. it was the flowers and his non-existent allergies.)
but right now, he's feeling...maybe a little soft.
“hey, suna, ya feel like heading out for a bit?” atsumu asks as soon as he answers his phone. “we’re gonna head to samu’s shop for some food— i know he’d like to see you before ya head back home.”
and suna wouldn’t mind seeing osamu or eating some of his onigiri, but he’s got something else on his mind right now.
he shifts onto his side in the plush hotel bed, sighing. “i’m actually kind of tired, and we're leaving pretty early tomorrow."
"oh, okay," atsumu hums. then, after a second, "hey, you alright? ya sound a little sulky."
and, no, as he lays in bed alone, he’s not sulking because his team lost by a handful of points in the third set tonight. he's not even sulking because atsumu was part of the double block that stopped his hit in second.
"just tired," he repeats. "say hey to osamu for me."
he lowers the phone from his ear and hangs up, opening up his texts to watch the video he'd just gotten to see in the locker room after the game (the one he'd watched three more times on the bus back to the hotel).
"c'mon, honey, you can do it again," you coo in the video, the camera focused on your little daughter, who is laying on her back atop the blanket kita's grandmother had knitted. "let's show daddy what you did today!"
(that's him. he's a daddy. sometimes it still doesn't quite feel real.)
he's watching this video for what must be the dozenth time by now, pride still swelling in his chest as his baby rolls onto her stomach. he still smiles when you cheer, your enthusiasm prompting her to reveal a little, toothless smile.
the video ends on both your smiling faces, you laying on your stomach beside her, his baby frozen in a giggle as you blow him a good luck kiss. he didn't think it'd be this hard, being away from her for the first time since she'd been born.
suna glances at the time. it's a little past 11pm, no doubt past suki's bedtime and probably creeping up on yours. it's a lot of work, taking care of a five-month old on your own, you probably need some rest.
so he sends you a quick goodnight voice message and closes his eyes, hitting play on the video once more and clutching the phone to his chest.
-
you wake at the slight dip of the bed, suna placing a soft kiss to your hair and a whispering, "hey."
"rin," you mumble as he tucks his head under your chin, your hand instinctively coming up to tangle in his hair. "did you just get back?"
he hums an affirmative, an arm clinging to your waist. "missed you two lots."
he can hear the smile in your sleepy voice, as you press a kiss to his forehead. "we missed you too. did you see the video? we can start doing tummy time now. i read up on it, and the book said we should let her play on her tummy for a few minutes each day..."
rin nods as you explain the concepts behind tummy time. what a funny thing for him to get excited about. he's going to lay her on his chest and let him grab at his hair all she wants.
"she's growing up so fast," he sighs, holding you a little tighter. "seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home."
and, right on cue, the sound of his baby girl crying comes through the monitor you keep on the nightstand.
"i'll get her," suna volunteers, a little giddy as he rolls out of bed and heads across the hall to the nursery. he pumps some hand sanitizer onto his hands, rubbing them quickly before peering over the edge of the crib as they dry.
"hi, sweetheart," he coos, placing a hand on her belly. "how's my girl doing, hm?"
he frowns when she wails a little louder, clearly used to your presence over the last few days. so he reaches in to scoop her into his arms, laying her against his shoulder as he sits back in the rocking chair.
he rubs her back slowly as she squirms unhappily, but the movements start to cease when he presses his lips to her forehead, letting them linger as he holds her close, humming softly.
she relaxes in his hold, unhappy cries turning into what he can only describe as a content sighs as she starts to drift off again.
suna's never been the sentimental type, but this right here? with his daughter in his arms and her little fists curled into the fabric of his sweater?
he could get used to it.
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beetsandskzreads · 3 years ago
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a guide to finding your chan
bang chan x gn! reader
fluffy fluff, somewhat crack-ish
warnings: mention of a single curse word, and nothing else except this is somewhat cheesy lmao
"okay guys grab a drink or a snack if you need it, we're just gonna review this quickly so as you can go home, have dinner and get comfy in bed, i'm looking at you chan, don't you dare stay up late working, today was a really packed day and tomorrow won't be much lighter either, so you get some rest." you said in the most caring voice you could boss them around in.
you were working with skz as their media manager for about two years now. you usually hang around them for concerts and events to take photos and post about them, help them organize their vlive events, plan games and activities for them, sometimes giving suggestions for other videos and media content they might make and sometimes they would ask for advice for what to post on social media, mostly trying to help them understand what stay would like or not (but usually you just tell them to post almost everything because stays are always thirsty, therefore appreciate everything)
two years had gone by in a flash yet you made so many connections with them, everyone felt basically like family, even though you didn't spend a lot of time around, it felt like you were always there to share their big achievements, so you helped them celebrate everything and also guided them a little bit along the way.
right now you were all reading comments from a live they had made, you sometimes do these kinds of things with them because they like to keep up with what's exciting stays, what they think it's funny and their opinions, to inspire them for their next interactions.
"han jisung should never be allowed to cut his hair ever again" minho reads out
"i guess i can keep it this long for a while but i'm not gonna let it grow much more, long hair is too much work" jisung responds as he started messing with hyunjins hair
"stay single 'till you find your own chan" felix keeps reading the comments
"true shit, I need to find me a chan" you say mindlessly, after all, anyone could agree chan is boyfriend material (heck, husband material even), so you totally weren't saying that because you have feelings for him, no (yes), it's just a common knowledge thing around here.
"what do you mean you need to find a chan? I'm your chan" chan turns to you and announces, in a somewhat pouty voice. you start blushing furiously.
you and chan had... let's say a fling(?) going on. you guys had gotten really close over the past year, and even more so the last two months,.,., things were getting to the point where it was physically hard for you not to kiss him, like there was a magnet pulling you to him, but you kept resisting it because you hadn't talked about your relationship.
since you've never spoken like you were a couple before, chan pulling that sentence in a room where anyone could hear made you freeze for a second. you couldn't talk about this right here!! ...then again you kind of pushed it saying what you did before... what were you supposed to do now tho??? flirt back?? play it cool?? does he mean it?? is he flirting jokingly or seriously? what reaction is he expecting from you in front of them?
"why would you get another chan? I thought I was your chan :(" he insisted in a lower voice since he was now closer to you.
"ooh honey you are my chan, you're right, I don't need any other chan" you say solfty, messing with his hair for a bit as you would to a kid, trying, and I repeat, TRYING to play it cool.
after this, thirty minutes go by as you keep reading the comments from the live, trying to contain your heavy blushing since chan curled up to your side after your interaction, until you decide to finish up and everyone starts to gather their things to leave. everyone but chan.
he stood by and when he felt a little more privacy in the room, he spoke up.
"hey umm... y/n?"
"yeah?" you could feel the barely gone blush coming back to your cheeks again already.
"this might be a weird way to put it but... I meant what I said back there. about 'being your chan', I mean. I'd really like us to be something more... I've been thinking about it for a while and I was wondering how you feel about it. or rather... how do you feel about me?" he asks somewhat hesitantly.
---I think you know it by now, reader, you're blushing uncontrollably---
"I- I think I only said I 'needed my own chan' because I really like you and... you know, a part of me isn't sure if I could, like, have you" you mutter the last two words.
"but what if you could, tho, have me?" he comes closer. even though he's also visibly blushing, he has a good feeling about where this is going.
you look up to him, feeling shy as ever, not wanting to say something corny and yet having no idea how to put it in words.
as you come across the hopeful look in his eyes, you feel yourself relaxing under the comfort they bring you.
"if I could have you, then I would claim you" you find the courage within to take a step closer to him, looking up into his eyes.
"claim me, then" he says in the softest way someone ever could, looking down at you clearly wanting you to-, feeling you wanting to kiss him.
and so you do.
a soft kiss developing for a couple minutes until you separate to look at each other.
"hyung!! are you coming?" jisung asked, coming into the room that had emptied out while you two flirted in a quiet corner. as he stands at the door, looking at how close you two are standing, his facial expressions shift as he hits the realization "oh- you know what? take your time" and just like that, he's out the room.
you and chan giggle together reacting to jisungs silly ways.
"sooo I guess you have to go?" you ask
"I-umm-yeah-I should probably go."
he doesn't leave.
he just stands there looking at you like there's something oh-so-interesting in your face he needs to keep looking at.
"ummm, chan?"
"yeah?"
"are you going or... ? is there something else you'd like to say?"
"oh- right. ummm I-uh... I really like you. a lot." he says, containing his smile from stretching even more "just... felt weird leaving after we just-you know. I kind of wished I could stay a bit more"
"ohh I see, I really like you too, channie." you kiss his cheek "but you need to go home and get some rest, they're waiting for you. and, you know, I guess you're my chan now so we'll have plenty of time"
"okay. yeah, you're right." oh how you love to see him like this, read ears, big smile, dimples showing... "your chan is going home now, then"
"okay" you smile
...
"can I get another kiss tho?" he asks, still in the same spot as before
"chan!!" you complain, laughing at how dorky he is
[of course you kiss him again]
336 notes · View notes
moonlit-jeno · 3 years ago
Text
red door, yellow door (m.)
pairing: mark lee x fem reader x jung jaehyun
genre/warnings: explicit sexual content | demon au | slight dubcon??? the mans a lust demon idk | Very mild horror themes | minor mlm | don’t attempt this game pls !!!
words: 8.1k
a/n: this is a repost from my old bts blog! pls don’t ask abt it bc i no longer actively follow bts :)
One of these days, you’re going to kill your coworkers.
You love them, you really do, but sometimes they can just be so dumb. It was Donghyuck and Renjun who came up with the idea to play this stupid game, one that is probably only played by naive 12 year old girls during slumber parties.
Normally you’d just brush it off, but Renjun had called you a wimp, so naturally you had to do it. Which is how you’ve ended up on your back with your best friend massaging circles into your forehead.
“Red door, yellow door, any other color door,” is being chanted around the room. You fight the urge to move your neck to a more comfortable position on Mark’s lap. Your hand twitches above your head, where your arms are raised. “This is stupid,” You whisper, and Mark laughs, scolding you lightly.
After a while, the mindless chanting lulls you to sleep, and you feel yourself drift off.
“What do you see?”
Two doors appear in front of you, one red and one yellow. They both look kind of old, paint chipping and peeling off.
“Anything else?”
A black door appears next to the yellow one and you find yourself drawn to it, wanting to go in. This one is shinier, considerable newer and more inviting compared to the other two
“Go in.”
You open the door and walk through, a sense of relief flooding through your senses as you give in to the pull. The room that you find yourself in seems never ending, the only thing in it a large bed.
“Do you see anyone?”
A man appears, sitting on the bed. The suit he’s wearing is unfitting for the plain surroundings- in fact, he’s unfitting for the surroundings in general. His teeth are blinding white when he smiles, not a hair out of place on his entire head. He’s attractive, all golden skin and beautiful features. Almost too beautiful. A shiver crawls up your spine, a tinge of discomfort bleeding into your senses. He smiles, dimples popping out, and you push the discomfort to the back of your mind.
“Who are you?” Your voice comes out distant to your own ears, echoing around you.
“Call me Jaehyun. Why don’t you come here, little bird? We can get properly acquainted.” The voice sounds haunting, like a distorted video. You wouldn’t believe that he’s speaking if his lips didn’t move in sync. Despite the unnatural voice sounding warning bells in your brain, you find yourself moving forward automatically and settling down on his lap when he pats his thigh for emphasis.
“And what’s your name, little bird?” He trails a hand up and down your thigh and you shiver, leaning back against him. He chuckles when you tell him your name, a pleased smile lighting up his features.
“Well, little bird, seems that we’re going to have some fun together.”
Your name is being echoed all around you, and you wake with a jolt, eyes flying open to see Mark staring at you.
“Are you okay?” The rest of your group is also gathered around you, standing in a half circle.
“Yeah, just fell asleep for a bit. Why?” You push yourself onto your elbows, sitting up so that you can lean against Mark.
Donghyuck plops down on the floor, sitting so that he’s facing you. “You were talking like you were having a conversation with someone. Who was it?”
You shrug, trying not to dull his excitement. “I don’t know, just some guy.”
“Was he wearing a suit?” Renjun asks, standing behind Hyuck. He grimaces when you nod. “Y/n, we literally told you not to talk to anyone in a suit. We told you not to talk to anyone. It’s in the rules.”
You roll your eyes, knowing how serious he gets when it comes to stuff like this. “Relax, it’s fine. He seemed nice, and it’s not like it was anything real.”
Renjun still doesn’t look convinced, but Mark interrupts his paranoia by doing what he’s best- or worst, depending on who you ask- at, cracking jokes.
“Hey, was he eating deviled eggs?” He laughs at his own joke, and everyone else groans. “Hey, don’t get mad at me. His place was probably such a hellhole.” The bad mood dissolves into jokes and loud laughter for the rest of the night.
You leave the party- or gathering as Donghyuck had called it because it sounded more mysterious- when it starts storming. The rain drenches you and pretty much everyone else that’s sitting on the porch, leaving you scrambling for shelter. Luckily, Mark offers you a ride.
“Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite!” Mark hollars out the window of his truck, his words getting lost in the night as he speeds off. His truck hits a pothole and you can imagine him swearing as his head hits the roof. Giggling to yourself, you unlock your apartment and slip inside. It’s close to 2 in the morning, so you decide that if you’re already not going to get that much sleep, why not binge Shameless?
You only get through two episodes before your eyelids feel heavy, and you have to fight to keep them open. On screen, there’s a bar fight that you try to take interest in, but sleep quickly pulls you under.
“Welcome back, little bird.” The voice is all around you, but no matter how much you turn and search, no one’s to be found.
“Turn around, little bird, I am here.” Spinning abruptly, you come face to face with the man from earlier, Jaehyun. He gives you a chilling grin.
“So we meet again,” he starts, and his voice no longer sounds eerie or inauthentic. He sounds like, well, a normal man. “Tell me, what would you do if I were to kiss you?”
You swallow, tongue darting out to wet your lips on instinct. “Depends. Are you a good kisser?” You aim for coy, but you miss the mark and land closer to worried.
“You could say that.” He pulls you close with one hand on the back of your head, stopping right before your lips. “May I?”
You nod, and he pulls you in for a gentle, closed mouth kiss.
It’s like that touch ignites a fire in you, because before you know it, your arms are thrown around his neck, dragging him closer to deepen the kiss. You lick along his lower lip and he readily grants you access, a throaty groan leaving him when you suck on his tongue. Liquid heat courses through your veins when he nips at your lower lip, tongue flicking over it in apology. You moan, raw and needy. He likes that, if the chuckle and wicked grin is anything to go by. Picking you up so that your legs are wrapped around his waist, he walks over to a bed that definitely wasn’t there before.
He drops you on the bed, and then suddenly you’re both naked. Jaehyun leans over you, all lean muscles and golden skin. His cock hangs hard and flushed between his legs, and you have the urge to swallow him down. He groans, as if reading your mind, and then reaches to pump himself slowly, long fingers wrapped around the length. “Not now, little bird, not now. I have something else in mind.” With one gentle push to your shoulders, you’re lying flat on the bed, Jaehyun between your legs. His mouth hovers over your core, already wet and dripping despite not having been touched. He plays idly with the slick on your upper thigh, drawing random patterns into the flesh. His eyes are dark, and you could swear that they’re entirely black, no white visible. He peers curiously up at you from between your legs, watching your reaction as his fingers get closer and closer to where you want him. Your breathing picks up as arousal thrums through your body, center pulsing and aching for some sort of relief.
“May I have you?” His breath ghosts over your center when you speak, the sensation making you even needier. 
You nod quickly. “Take it, fuck, you have all of me.” He grins, wasting no time in diving in. His tongue feels impossibly good, licking up your folds and circling over your clit. He leaves sloppy kisses along your core, one hand massaging your thigh and keeping you spread open. You cry out when his tongue pushes into you, his nose brushing your clit and sending sparks up your spine.
His tongue feels impossibly long, so good inside of you that you feel like you’re losing your mind. Your hips buck up desperately, riding his face to hell and back. One arm gets thrown over your stomach to keep you in place while two fingers from his free hand dip into your soaking core, curling into that spot immediately. Stars flash behind your eyes, one hand coming down to fist in Jaehyun’s hair. Your feet scramble frantically along his back, heels digging in in an effort to anchor yourself, toes curling at the sensations singing through you.
You feel your orgasm drawing closer, heat pooling in your center. You whimper brokenly as you try to chase after your high, grinding your hips along his tongue. He lets you, just holding his tongue flat out for you to ride.
You come like that, falling apart on his tongue, screams of his name falling from your lips. He works you through it, tongue gently licking along your folds, slurping up your arousal as if he hasn’t had a meal in weeks.
You lay there, boneless and whimpering weakly through the aftershocks until Jaehyun pulls away to kiss up your body. He licks into your mouth hotly, reminding you that he hasn’t come yet. You bat weakly at his chest, pushing him onto his back. “Your turn,”
He groans in appreciation at the view of you above him. “So perfect, little bird. I’m gonna have so much fun with your soul.”
This sentence freezes you in your spot. “What the fuck does that mean?”
Jaehyun meets your gaze, black eyes entrancing you. “That means, y/n, that I’m going to have your soul. You belong to me now, hmm?” One of his hands plays gently with a strand of your hair. “That’s what you agreed to earlier, no?”
“N-no.” You try backing away, but the inhuman voice from earlier is back, echoing everywhere, repeating his words over and over until you can’t take it anymore-
You wake with a gasp, hitting your head as you sit up. Your computer is still on your lap, episode fifteen playing. Fuck, you’ve only been asleep for forty five minutes. It’s not even three yet, and you don’t have to go to work until eight. Deciding there’s no way you’re falling back asleep, you get up and decide to bake.
Five hours later, your coworkers love you when you show up with containers of cinnamon rolls, five different types of cookies, and a coffee cake. Mark looks mildly worried.
“You okay? I haven’t seen you bake since high school.” You snap out of your thoughts and turn to face Mark. The look of concern on your best friend’s face is enough to make you feel guilty and you nod, forcing a smile onto your face.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Had a bad dream last night and couldn’t sleep, that’s all.” You respond, trying not to show how bothered you actually are.
“Wanna talk about it?” Mark leans forward over his desk, chin planted on his hand.
“No, it’s gonna sound dumb.” You whine, shaking your head. And it is dumb, even to you. You’re scared because you had a dream that some man ate you out and then told you he was going to take your soul?
“Well, you always sound dumb. Of course your dreams are gonna be dumb.” Mark laughs as you chuck a piece of cake at him, infectious laugh soothing you. You sigh.
Mark raises his eyebrows at you when you finish telling him your dream. “You’re scared because you had a wet dream? Damn, I’d be living in a nightmare if I was scared after every wet dream I’ve had.”
You kick him under the table. “Mark! It was really scary. He told me he was going to take my soul!”
Upon seeing that you’re actually freaked out, his face softens. “Look, y/n, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You probably just thought that he was hot, and your brain remembered his face and put it in a dream. I wouldn’t worry about it; what’s the worst he’s gonna do, haunt you?”
You give a shaky nod, agreeing. It’s not like something from your dreams could actually harm you. Mark reaches across the desk, taking your hand in his and giving a tight squeeze, warm brown eyes gazing at you openly. “And if something does happen, just remember that I’m your best friend. I’ll be here for you.”
“Thanks, Mark. Means a lot to me.”
He leans back in his seat. “Anytime, anyplace, anything. Triple A.”
You smile, raising an eyebrow. “Anything?”
His eyes go wide, taking in the glint in your eyes. “Within reason.”
“How about a sip of coffee?” You nod down at his cup, pasting a huge smile on your face.
“I did say within reason, so no.”
You huff. “I expected that.”
Although you don’t scare easily, it’s safe to say that you’re a bit unsettled tonight, especially after your nightmare last night. You find yourself jumping at every little noise, hand slamming the light switch on with your pulse racing every five minutes. This has been going on for an hour, and after a final sweep of your room reveals nothing, you decide that maybe a face mask will help you relax.
Your bathroom has two mirrors facing each other, which is normally a blessing when you do your hair, but tonight it does nothing but make you want to hide under your blankets.
Get a grip on yourself, you chastise, grabbing your phone and opening spotify. Maybe some music will help? You click on your Christmas playlist because what better way to cheer up than to think about your favorite holiday?
A mistake, really, because it seems that you’ve forgotten how creepy Santa is.
“He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake,” Yikes. You stop that song in a hurry, feeling anything but comforted. No music then, noted.
You reach for your face wash, turning the sink on and waiting for the water to warm. You can’t help but glance in the mirror behind you every so often, paranoia getting the best of you. Man, you feel pathetic, worrying about monsters in your closet like you’re six and not twenty-six.
You wash your face quickly, hoping that your fears will wash away as well. No such luck.
You swear you see something move behind you after you dry your face off, but there’s nothing there. Shaking it off, you reach for your face mask, taking your time painting your face with the green clay.
It’s after your face is coated that you spot someone in the glass behind you. You scream, whipping around to come face to face with a man. Not just any man- Jaehyun.
Your heart thunders in your chest, eyes widening in fear. He seems to be in the mirror, copying your petrified expression mockingly.
“Hello, little bird.” He purrs, smirking lightly.
“Are you- are you in my mirror?” You’re in disbelief, mind struggling to comprehend this. First you spot him while in a weird trance, then in a dream, and now in your mirror? Maybe you’re having a quarter life crisis.
“No, I am not. Mirrors are just gateways to alternate dimensions. I’m merely using the mirror to visit you.” He says this like it’s common knowledge. It feels like your throat is made of sandpaper with how hard it is to choke out your words. “O-okay. I’m just gonna- yeah.”
You grab your phone from the counter and bolt, fumbling for your keys before jumping into your car and speeding off in the direction of Mark’s house. You call him, fingers fumbling on the screen. He goes to voicemail the first time, and your heart drops. “No, no, no,” you whisper frantically, calling again. He does pick up this time.
“Y/n? It’s the middle of the night.” His voice sounds gruff, and you feel guilty for waking him up. One glance in your rear view mirror reveals that Jaehyun is joining you on this ride, and you scream, car swerving violently to one side before you straighten it out.
“Where are we going, little bird?”
“Y/n? Are you okay?” Mark’s voice has lost its sleepy edge, taking on a concerned tone. He says your name again, more frantic.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Your tires squeal as you make a turn, now only two blocks away. “Can I- can I come over? I really need to be with someone right now.”
“Of course, you know you’re always welcome. The door’s unlocked.”
You hang up, willing the tears in your eyes to not spill over. Finally arriving, you slam on the breaks and haphazardly pull next to a curb, yanking the key out of the ignition and sprinting to Mark’s house.
You lock the door behind you when you step inside, testing the handle as if a door could stop a mirror traveling demon or whatever the fuck Jaehyun was from coming inside. “Mirrors,” you mumble, reaching the stairs.
“Y/n? What’s-” Mark stands at the top of the stairs, one hand rubbing at his eyes. You cut him off, flying up the stairs.
“Mirrors, fuck. Mark, we need to cover the mirrors!” You breeze by his shocked figure, not noticing the way he turns to stare at you incredulously.
“What, why? Y/n, are you crazy?”
Ignoring him, you throw a towel over the mirror in his bathroom, ripping open a pack of bandaids to use as adhesive.
You throw another towel over the mirror in his bedroom, collapsing on his bed when you’re done and finally allowing yourself to sob.
“Y/n, hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” Mark, as gentle and caring as ever, comes over to sit next to you, one hand combing through your hair.
“I- don’t laugh at me.” You stare him straight in the eye, pleading with him. You know you’re going to sound crazy, but you’re praying that your best friend listens to you. He nods, urging you to go on.
“That- that man I saw in my dream and during whatever fucked up game Hyuck had us play? He was in my fucking mirror, Mark. I- the whole night, I had this feeling that I was being watched, and then I went into my bathroom and he was just there, and-” You’re hyperventilating at this point, fighting for every breath, tears clouding your vision. “He was in my car, in the rear view mirror-” Mark pulls you closer, enveloping you in his arms and allowing you to sob loudly into his chest. You cry for a few minutes, until you’re finally able to pull yourself together.
“Shh, it’s okay. You’ve had a rough week, I know. It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
He wipes a tear away from your check, patting you lightly. “Why don’t you go wash this off, okay? We can watch a movie after.” He offers, and until that point, you’d forgotten you were wearing a face mask. You grimace at the green imprint on his black shirt, but he just chuckles. “I’ll go grab you some water in the meantime.”
Nodding, you garner up the energy to walk to his bathroom. It’s fine, the mirror’s covered, he can’t hurt you. You close the door just in case, wanting an extra level of protection
You rinse your face with cold water, hoping that it will clear your mind. You give your face a couple more splashes before drying off with a towel.
“You missed a spot on your forehead.” You freeze before looking around wildly. There’s no one around, which can only mean that Jaehyun can still see you. Swallowing, you start the water again, rubbing at your forehead.
“And your left cheek.” You rub at the skin, being way too harsh but you excuse it considering your situation. “No, your other left. My left.”
“Jesus,” You growl in annoyance, reaching up to rip the towel down. Sure enough, there’s a splotch of green on your cheek. Jaehyun’s nowhere to be found. Maybe I am losing my mind.
You finish rinsing the mask off, finding some face lotion buried in Mark’s drawer, screaming bloody murder when Jaehyun appears in the mirror again. “Looking for me?”
“No! Leave me alone!” You cry, head spinning. Jaehyun fakes a pout, holding a hand over his heart in mock hurt. Do demons even have hearts?
“Ouch, little bird. You don’t want to finish what we started the other night? When I had you moaning so pretty, so wet for me. I’m sure your pussy would take me so well, hmm?” Your heart rate kicks up again, but for a different reason this time. You almost moan, thinking about the dream.
Because he was right, you had been so wet. The want comes back full forces, slamming into you like a truck. You remember how needy you were, wanting to suck his cock so bad, wanting him to fuck you like there’s no tomorrow. All fear that you previously had is slowly disappearing, fading into lust.
The demon smiles knowingly. “Ah, little bird, so you do remember. Remember how you promised me that you’re mine?”
You nod, eyes glazing over. You’re wet, panties starting to stick to your throbbing core uncomfortably.
“Mmmh, I bet you’re already dripping for me. Just waiting for me to come out and fill you up.”
Hearing your name leave his lips sends a wave of arousal crashing through you so strong that your knees buckle, grabbing onto the counter for support. He chuckles, but whatever he’s about to say is cut off by Mark.
“What were you say-” Your best friend trails off, eyes wide as he observes the scene. You snap out of your haze at the interruption. His mouth parts in shock. “You really weren’t kidding, shit.” He laughs humorlessly.
Then, quick as lightning, he rears back and punches the mirror. You scream in surprise at the crack, shards falling to the floor.
You and Mark both stare at the broken shards of glass on the ground, gleaming under the lights. “Mark,” You start, trailing off once you realize you have nothing to say. He seems to understand, walking forward until he’s close enough to pull you into a hug. You feel tears start to slide down your cheeks, dampening the cotton of your best friends shirt. You hug him closer, burying your face into his broad chest. He wraps himself around you, and you let yourself be lulled into the sense of security that his larger frame brings you. A sense of security that vanishes once you hear a low chuckle that definitely does not belong to Mark.
You both scream, leaping backwards and away from the noise. Jaehyun stands there, just in front of the door, with a shit eating grin on his face. You cower behind Mark, who is wrapping a protective arm around you while simultaneously trying to hide behind you.
“I really must thank you for finally setting me free. Normally I have to wait for some asshole with a ouija board, but then there’s just so many other demons that I have to compete with. So I just stick to the dream world-” He pauses to wink at you for emphasis “-but this is so much more fun.” His eyes are black, and you can’t tell where he’s looking. Swallowing, you clutch onto Mark’s arm for dear life.
The demon seems to regard the two of you for a moment, before his amusement seems to grow. He begins to move forward.
“Ah, Mark Lee. Lovely name for a stupid boy. Didn’t you know breaking a mirror is bad luck?” By this point, you and Mark are flattened against the wall, while Jaehyun stands less than a foot away from the two of you. There’s nowhere to run. This is it, you think, this is how I die.
Jaehyun chuckles, turning to you. You lower your gaze to the ground; it hurts to make eye contact with him. “No, little bird. This isn’t how you die, don’t worry.”
Then he’s backing away from the two of you, motioning to follow him. The logical part of your brain is screaming not to, but you find yourself drawn to him, legs carrying you after him without your consent, Mark clutching your arm tightly as he walks next to you.
Jaehyun seems to know the layout of the house, leading you straight into Mark’s bedroom. The demon grabs a chair from the desk and spins it around, straddling it so that he’s facing the bed.
He motions lazily. “Go on now, have a seat. Get comfortable.”
You find yourself sitting down on the edge of the bed, following his words like marching orders. Mark sits about half a foot away from you. Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, no, no. That won’t do. I said to get comfortable, did I not?” He raises an eyebrow as if daring you to argue with him. “Go lay down at the head board.”
You crawl to the head of the bed, settling so that you’re on your side, facing the demon. Mark follows suit, pulling you close to him so that you’re spooning. Jaehyun lets out a pleased hum. “Much better. Aren’t you much more comfortable now?” Nodding, you realize that you actually are more comfortable. It’s not just the change of position, but the energy in the room as well. The demon is no longer giving off a threatening aura. It’s more relaxed, maybe even happy? He certainly looks more relaxed, probably as happy as a demon can get, if not a little smug.
Your body is pulsing with energy, and it takes you a moment to place what you’re feeling. The earlier need to run that you had felt has been replaced with another need, albeit further down. Your thighs clench as another surge of heat pulses through your core, and your face warms at the realization. Why now, of all times, are you horny?
Jaehyun’s grin broadens as he seems to sense your dilemma. “Oh, little bird, if only you knew. Tell me, what type of demon do you think I am?” He watches you curiously, black eyes staring into your soul.
You try to tilt your head towards Mark, but the position’s too awkward and you only catch a glimpse of the side of his face. He looks a bit flushed from what you can see, teeth digging into his plush bottom lip, teeth that you could easily replace with your own- you blink, dazedly. What the fuck? Sexual thoughts about your best friend? That’s a new one. Even if you’ve noticed that he’s hot, you’d never thought about him sexually. Now, though, you can feel the hardness of his dick against your ass, and you can’t help but think about how good he could fuck you.
“Incubus,” You finally manage, blinking rapidly to clear the haze of your vision. Jaehyun grins, looking genuinely surprised that you’d gotten it right.
“Good girl. Make a little sense now?” You nod, fighting a moan as Mark starts to rock against you, slowly, as if he’s unconsciously doing it. Jaehyun notices.
“How about you, Mark? You doing alright over there?”
Your friend, your best friend, buries his face in your neck and groans, deep and delicious. It sends another surge of heat through your body, the growing need between your legs pulsing pathetically. “What are you doing to us?” The words are growled behind you, vibrating against the skin where his lips are pressed.
“Oh no, Mark, I’m not doing anything to you. The only thing I can do to you is make you realize your desires. Your deepest, darkest fantasies? I make that happen. Finally being able to fuck the girl you’ve been in love with for years? I make that happen.” The words take a minute to register with you, but you stiffen when the meaning hits you. Mark Lee, in love with you? An unlikely story, bordering impossible.
The demon chuckles at your inner turmoil, rolling his eyes at how dumb humans can be. “You too, y/n. You love Mark, even if you won’t admit it. You let the idea that he was too good for you scare you away from him. Do you not remember how often you thought of him, late at night after first meeting him?”
You groan in protest, not because it’s not true, but because you do remember. It had been so long ago. When you hadn’t known Mark, had only known of him. You pull away from Mark, awkwardly pushing him to lay flat against the pillows while you clamber on top of him.
“Mark, is it true? Do you love me?” You hold his face between your hands, staring into his eyes. He meets your gaze, pupils blown and eyes half lidded. He nods as best he can.
“So, so much.” Mark’s voice comes out raspy, matching his flushed skin. You lean down to kiss him, uncaring of the other presence in the room. Mark moans when your lips make contact, hands pulling you to straddle him. Your eyelids flutter at the feeling of his clothed cock against your center, rocking your hips to try to ease the throb of your core. His hands fly to your ass, pulling and kneading at the flesh as he urges you into a harsher pace.
The kiss is rougher, needier now, open mouthed and panting. Mark’s got his tongue tangled with yours, sucking in such a way that sends waves of heat through you. You want him in you, any part of him really.
Jaehyun seems to agree, speaking up from right next to you. You jump, having forgotten he was there although he’s the reason you’re like this in the first place.
“Let’s get the show on the road. As much as I’m enjoying this, I think we’d all enjoy something else a little more.” The demon reaches for the hem of your shirt and you nod, raising your arms above your head to let him pull the garment off. Mark groans at the newly revealed skin, hands going to cup your breasts through the fabric of your bra. “Fuck,” He whines, staring in awe at your chest. He doesn’t waste time before leaning up to kiss along your cleavage, pulling the bra down to expose your breasts. Another set of hands unclasp the bra before traveling down your torso to rub circles into your hip bones, sliding your sleeping shorts and panties off at the same time. Jaehyun throws the shorts somewhere off the bed. He keeps the panties, a pleased sigh leaving him as he appreciates the ruined fabric.
“Fuck, little bird. You’re really enjoying this,” He comments, as if he isn’t a fucking lust demon that can sense these kinds of things. You don’t voice your thoughts, because Mark chooses this moment to suck a nipple into his mouth, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin so that all you can do is moan. “You’ve even ruined your panties. They’re soaked.”
He hands the strip of lace to Mark, who lets out a throaty groan at the sight. “You’re not getting these back.” He informs you, slipping the garment into his bedside drawer. You ignore him, instead tugging insistently at his shirt. He takes pity on you, grabbing the collar and yanking the baggy tee over his head.
You let your hands slide down his chest in admiration, feeling the hard lines of his muscles. You lick your lips at how broad his shoulders are, how strong he looks. Jaehyun doesn’t give you much time to enjoy the view, gliding two fingers along your slit before circling around your little nub. A cry of pleasure leaves you to mindlessly press your face into Mark’s collarbone, nipping and sucking the flesh until you’re sure you’ve left a bruise.
Jaehyun slips the two fingers into your aching core, curling and dragging them so well along your walls. Sparks of electricity flow through your veins, heat pooling in your center.
Mark groans from below you. Looking down, you see that you’ve unconsciously dug your nails into his hard chest in an effort to ground yourself. You remove your hands, only to spot little red half crescents littered over his skin. You rub your palms over the marks as if to soothe them, but it seems that the man wasn’t groaning from pain.
“Y/n” He sounds so fucked out, voice hoarse and raw even though hardly anything has happened yet. “You look so good like this, so perfect for me.” He brings one large hand up to cup your cheek, thumb delicately stroking over your cheekbone before moving down to trace your lower lip. You part your lips, letting him slide in before sucking around the digit, tongue curling around it as if it were his cock. His eyes darken a fraction, tongue coming out to wet his lips, swollen and kiss bitten.
You moan around the digit as Jaehyun adds a third finger, stretching your walls so pleasantly that you can’t help but buck your hips back for more. A whine forces its way out of your throat as the demon pulls his fingers out of you, leaving an empty ache between your thighs.
“Don’t you think it would be more fun if she was sucking on something a bit bigger than your finger, Mark?” The voice startles you, breath tickling your ear as he speaks. The man under you nods, swallowing thickly. Your eyes are drawn to the way his Adam’s apple bobs with the movement, and a gush of wetness pulses down below. Your thighs are probably covered in your arousal at this point.
You scoot down his body, trailing kisses and bites down his toned stomach. You take your time unzipping his pants, sucking a mark into the soft skin below his navel. He’s hard as a rock, and you moan in appreciation at the sheer size of him once you shimmy his jeans down his thighs.
“No underwear?” You ask, mouth curling up in a teasing smirk. He huffs out a laugh, propping himself up on his elbows so that he can watch. “No, ‘s too restricting.”
You lazily pump his dick, thumb flicking over the tip once or twice. You plan to tease him more, but then Jaehyun’s pushing your head down and you have no choice but to open your mouth wide, innocent eyes peeking up at Mark as you take his cock in your mouth. He’s so big that you can’t take him in all the way, keeping one hand curled around his cock to stroke what your mouth can’t reach. You let it get sloppy, using your spit to ease the glide until you’ve got a pleasant rhythm going. Mark replaces Jaehyun’s hands with his own, gathering strands of your hair in his palms and using that grip to control your pace. “F-fuck,” He lets out a shaky exhale, letting his head fall back against the pillows once he’s satisfied with the pace.
Jaehyun slaps your ass, a loud smack sounding throughout the room. You moan, pitching forward onto Mark’s cock and gagging as he hits the back of your throat. A strangled cry leaves the man above you, his hips thrusting even further into the tight, wet heat of your mouth.
The demon kneads your stinging flesh before using his grip on you to pull your hips up. “Good girl,” You keen under his praises, sticking your ass up even higher. The warm, wet pressure against your center has you faltering, moaning almost violently around Mark’s cock. He doesn’t seem to be having any complaints, the vibrations forcing a moan of his own out.
Your eyes roll up into your head as Jaehyun wraps his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. You’re sure you’d be screaming by now if Mark’s cock wasn’t halfway down your throat. You’ve given up sucking him off by this point, content to let the man fuck your mouth while Jaehyun sucks your fucking soul out from between your legs. It feels so good, not used to being the center of even one man’s focus, let alone two.
Mark eases you off of his cock after you accidentally bite him, using your spit to ease the slide as he lazily fucks up into his loose fist. You rest your head on his thigh, alternating between moaning wantonly and mouthing messily against the skin as you feel your orgasm approach.
Jaehyun pulls away at the last second, and you whine loudly as your orgasm is cut off. The feeling of frustration leaves you close to tears, and you jiggle your ass in hopes that it will regain his attention. It does momentarily, as Jaehyun lands a harsh smack on the flesh, but he pulls away again.
“Mark,” The man in question looks up, hand freezing on his dick as if waiting for Jaehyun’s orders. And fuck, what a sight that would be: your normally brash and confident friend being so pliant and submissive to a near stranger… You blink out of it, feeling mildly ashamed even in your current state. Luckily, Jaehyun interrupts your thoughts. “I’m feeling generous today, so I’ll let you go first. You’ve been waiting long enough for this, anyway.”
Mark nods eagerly, pulling you into a desperate kiss. You paw at every inch of skin you can reach, searching for a release from the ache inside of you. Your wish is granted when he hooks two fingers in your soaking cunt, groaning at how wet you are. He scissors you open quickly, hissing at how tight you feel.
“Ready, angel? Want my cock?” The pet name has you moaning, though it draws a low chuckle from Jaehyun, who’s watching from his position next to Mark.
“Hurry up, already. Need you in me, ‘ve waited so long.”
Mark lights up at this, smile stretching his features. He looks so breathtaking in this moment, skin glowing and flushed, hair mussed up, eyes blown wide and half lidded.
“I’m yours,” He breathes, leaning up for one last kiss. His hands slide down to your hips, pulling you forward so that you’re hovering above his thick cock. “Ride me baby.”
“I’d love to.” Reaching one hand down to position him at your entrance, you start to lower yourself down. Of course, Jaehyun chooses this exact moment to stop you. He truly is the spawn of Satan.
“Little bird, hold on just a second. I found something of interest in the back of Markie’s brain.” You cringe as he mocks your earlier nickname for the man. “What’s this I’m seeing, Mark? You like it up the ass?” His tone is teasing, but Mark groans in embarrassment. His face has gone an alarming shade of red by this point. “N-no,” He tries to deny, sputtering excuses but Jaehyun cuts him off with a press of a finger to his lips. “Oh, Mark, don’t get shy on me now. It’s a perfectly fine thing to like. Little bird, you’ll get your turn in a minute. You,” He snaps his fingers at Mark. “Come here. Kneel up, just like that. Perfect.” He appraises Mark’s ass for a moment, hands moulding the flesh before slipping a finger in. Mark’s eyebrows furrow, and you shoot up in alarm. “Doesn’t he need lube?”
Jaehyun looks at you, surprised that you care, before chuckling. “I can produce lube. Perks of being a lust demon.” Winking at you, he returns his focus to Mark. You can’t see what he’s doing, but the pure pleasure present on your best friends face has you clenching your thighs together, waves of need crashing through you. If you thought he looked good before, he looks absolutely gone now. Breathless groans are leaving him now, eyelids fighting to stay open as he sinks down on the others fingers. You watch him, mesmerized, before shuffling over to him.
“How close are you?”
He forces his gaze down to you. “Kind of- nngh- close, w-why?” 
Wrapping a hand around his base lightly, you start stroking. “Will you come if I blow you?”
He moans, a punched out sound that takes you by surprise. “Fuck, yes, I’ll definitely come if you blow me.” You pout in disappointment. Upon seeing your crestfallen expression, he continues. “Maybe we c-can- oh, yes- figure something out. Jaehyun,” He turns his head back behind him, struggling to get the words out between moans. “Can I eat y/n out?”
There’s just something so hot about Mark asking for permission from someone else that you can’t help the whimper that escapes you. Jaehyun must nod, because then you’re being laid back, Mark settling between your thighs. He’s sucking sweet kisses into your core almost immediately, pulling your legs over his shoulders to give him better access. You’re letting out sharp cries of pleasure the whole time, eyes fighting the urge to roll back in your head in favor of watching Mark between your legs. A particularly well placed flick of his tongue has your hips rolling against his face, grasping the sheets in your hand as your mind blanks. The pleasure climbing through your system is insane, threatening to burn you from the inside out.
It only gets better once Mark starts moaning, his sinful mouth sending sweet vibrations traveling up your core. You manage to catch sight of Jaehyun behind him, kissing wetly along his shoulders and neck, features curving into a smirk once he notices you watching him.
“Little bird likes this, hmm? Like watching another man pleasure your boyfriend while he pleases you?” You hum, unable to tear yourself away from his gaze, unable to even think, letting his boyfriend comment slide. Whereas before it hurt to look directly into his eyes, you now find yourself getting lost in his dark orbs. It’s like a drug, your pleasure being amplified by the man, demon, whatever in front of you.
You finally break eye contact, head falling back against the mattress as Mark draws you closer and closer to your peak. Burying one hand in his hair, you use the leverage to grind your core against his face, chasing your sweet release. “C-close, Mark, please-” You don’t know what you’re begging for at this point. It’s too much but not enough at the same time. Jaehyun saves you from having to decide by cruelly ripping your orgasm away from you, again, dragging Mark’s face away from your pussy.
A few tears slip down your face at this point, frustration reaching its peak. Jaehyun wipes the tears away, laughing lowly. “Don’t worry, you’ll get what you desire soon.”
He must pull out of Mark, because your friend whimpers before seeming to realize what he just did and clears his throat uncomfortably.
“Mark, would you like to fuck our little bird now?” Mark nods, tongue flicking out to wet dry lips.
Jaehyun smirks. “Good. On your back. Y/n, ride him.” You don’t have to be told twice. You scramble onto your knees, wasting no time in straddling Mark before dropping yourself down on him. You both moan in satisfaction, you at finally being filled and Mark at your tightness. You have to brace both hands on his chest, almost collapsing at the overwhelming relief you feel. Beyond the burn of the stretch, his cock filling you up so nicely, there’s a sweet pleasure, a satisfaction.
You don’t wait very long to adjust, grinding your hips in smooth circles before lifting yourself off of him and dropping yourself back down. You quickly start a rhythm of you bouncing on his cock, eyes rolling at how fucking big he feels in you.
Mark’s hands are locked in a vice grip on your ass, fingers digging into the supple flesh and using his grip to urge you into a faster pace.
Jaehyun decides to join, coming up behind you to kiss at your neck, one hand reaching up to your mouth. “Suck,” He commands, slipping two fingers past your willing lips. You do, hollowing your cheeks and slurping around the digits, wishing that it was his dick. He hums behind you, bringing the wet digits down to your entrance, finding your clit with ease and rubbing fast circles into the little nub. You moan even louder now, feeling yourself speed towards your climax. You’ve been on edge for too long, you can’t hold on anymore.
“You close, little bird? Going to come on Mark’s cock? Gonna make him fill you up, pound into that dirty cunt?” His words get to you, your head falling back against his shoulder once more.
“Yes, yes! Oh, please, please-” He cuts off your mindless rambling by pulling you in for a kiss, one that you melt into. This is the first time he’s kissed you, and you’re quite upset that you hadn’t kissed him earlier. It’s a hot kiss, lots of tongue and teeth. It heightens your pleasure immensely, and you can’t stop kissing him. You suck on his tongue filthily, and oh, he must like that if the resulting groan is anything to go by. Even when he goes to pull away, you won’t let him, one hand fisting in his hair to keep him close. He seems to be speeding up your release, if that were even possible. Your mind feels hazier now, every sensation heightened, core screaming for release. You feel your orgasm twisting painfully at your insides, pulsing before finally exploding. The intensity of it rips a scream out of your throat, nails scratching across Mark’s chest as Jaehyun licks even deeper into your mouth, drinking up the noises you make.
When you come down, Mark is still thrusting desperately up into you, though he stops at the demons command. “From behind,” You hear Jaehyun say, but everything’s hazy at this point. Your mind is still fuzzy from your orgasm, and it’s like watching through a screen. Like you’re high, though you hadn’t had anything the whole day.
Mark manhandles you into position, hands and knees with your ass raised high in the air. He leaves one gentle kiss on your shoulder blade before relentlessly pounding into you, cock hitting even deeper in this position. Jaehyun kneels in front of you, pulling your face in towards his cock. You moan around him as he slips inside, mouth not quite burning at the stretch like Mark, though the demon still has you gagging. His cock has the same effect on you as his kisses did, and you feel addicted. You’re slurping and sucking and moaning around him, not wanting the intense pleasure to stop. You barely hear the kissing above you, taking far too long to register that Jaehyun has pulled Mark into a messy kiss above you. The image has you moaning even more wantonly, ass pushing back against Mark.
The kiss seems to have a similar effect on the man, because then he’s slamming into you at an even more relentless rate, moans higher and more frequent before he’s coming with a shout, finally filling you up. Your core pulses again at the feeling, and you suck at Jaehyun’s dick with renewed vigor. His hands fist in your hair, keeping you still so that he can fuck your mouth as hard as he wants. You relish in the feeling of your throat being fucked raw, spit dripping out of your mouth and down his cock. He lets out a deep groan, hips slamming deep one last time as he finishes. His cum seems to ignite a fire within you, because you’re coming almost simultaneously with him, despite not even being touched.
You collapse afterwards, dragging yourself to Mark and letting him drape himself over you. You let yourself drift off to sleep, sated and still riding the high.
The demon kisses each of you one last time, drinking in the last remaining parts of your soul, watching as the two humans take their last breaths. “Thanks for the meal, lovelies.” He chuckles, petting your head almost affectionately before walking out into the night sky, not sparing a single glance back.
989 notes · View notes
tinyyoungblood · 4 years ago
Note
hi!! do you know that tiktok trend where the girl asks her bf if he can temporarily break up with her so she can be heartbroken when she listens to olivia rodrigo’s new album and the bf always says no? could you do that but with peter and avenger!reader? i don’t really know how the avengers play into that but i trust you to think of something great. love your work babes <3
pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader
word count: 2.7k
a/n: hey fren, tysm <3 i do know that trend, and it always warms my darn heart. you probably meant for this to be a headcanon but halfway through i realised that i was writing full sentences, so i just rolled with it bc i have no self-control lol enjoy x
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Peter, I need you to break up with me.”
Not a moment later, you heard a series of loud crashes and Peter stumbled out of the bathroom, hopping on one leg while fiddling with his zipper. “What did you just say?” His eyes were wild as they scanned your face.
“I need you to break up with me,” you repeated calmly, not taking your eyes off your laptop.
“Break up with you?” Peter echoed, hand raking through his hair in bewilderment. “Why would I do that? Do you want to break up?”
This made you look up. Peter was staring at you like you had just insulted his face, making it quite an effort to stay serious. “It’s just for 34 minutes and 46 seconds,” you assured. “So I can listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album.”
He blinked at you.
“What?”
“Please?” You set your laptop aside, shuffling to the end of the bed so you were sitting right in front of him. “I want to listen to it in full effect with a broken heart and everything.”
“I…” Peter slowly shook his head. A helpless laugh escaped him. “Um, no. Thank you.” He turned and made to return to the bathroom.
“Peter,” you whined and grabbed for his hand, pulling him to a halt.
“Sorry, angel.” He shrugged, supressing the faint tug at the corner of his mouth.
“Pleeeeaase.”
“Nope.”
You pouted. “We can break up when you train with Bucky! In that way you won’t even notice because you’ll be busy and distracted. I won’t even be on your mind.” You weren’t sure what you had said that made Peter stare at you like you were insane, but it took him a second to snap out of it.
He cupped your face with his hands and made sure to meet your eyes. “Babe, I think about you all the time.” He said it like it was a wish he wanted to word correctly. Slow and precise. Then he switched to a lighter tone that implied that he was done with the conversation. “I’m not breaking up with you.” With that he turned and left for the bathroom.
“Fine,” you called back although the water was already running and you doubted that Peter could hear you. And if he did, he probably didn’t care. You took that as your cue to leave. Defeated, you plucked your headphones into your phone and picked out a song of Olivia’s album at random.
Steve was lounging on the couch of the common room when you entered. He looked up from his magazine and gave you a small smile by way of greeting. You returned it by tapping two fingers at your temple in salute, ignoring the way how his stare lingered a little longer. You sat down next to him. When you locked eyes again, you saw the silent question on his face and let out a laugh. It ended up sounding more like a delightful scoff.
“I know Tony takes pride in being the philanthropist amongst us, but for someone who grew up in the ice age, you’re really good at reading people’s faces.” You wanted to annoy Steve, maybe even coax out a laugh, but he just kept looking at you, and you held his gaze. You were good at it—an aftereffect of living with Bucky who happened to love the same yoghurt as you did. Sometimes you put all western movies to shame with the way you narrowed your eyes at each other early in the morning in front of the fridge.
To your luck, Steve was just as stubborn, which meant that you two could’ve kept it going until death if it weren’t for the door banging open.
“I can’t believe you did this to me!” A voice boomed. You took a wild guess and assumed it was Clint.
“Tell me about it!” Another voice bellowed right back.
A second later, Sam and Clint marched into the room, furious, whereas Bucky strolled in behind them with no care in the world.
The former two were holding bags of food. Both were animated and waving their arms through the air while arguing. You turned down the volume of your phone in time to hear Steve demand, “What’s going on?”
Clint and Sam stared daggers at Bucky until Steve amended, “Buck, what did you do?”
The man in question turned around, facing his best friend in exasperation. “I asked these two to get food for me.” This earned him a snarl. Bucky waved them off and examined his metal arm, unconcerned. “Honestly, I have no idea why they’re getting so worked up about it.”
“We—” Sam gestured wildly between Clint and himself. “—were asked to pick up food for him from two different places. And neither of us knew about it!”
“Yes, neither of us knew,” Clint chimed in, eyes narrowing at Bucky who was busy flicking dust off his arm. “And I don’t know about you, Sam, but I was touched. I was moved, okay? Because Bucky never asks for anything and here I was, thinking we’re starting to bond or whatever but now I just feel USED.”
Sam gave a harsh sound in agreement.
“Bucky,” said Steve after no one had anything to add. “What do you have to say to that?”
Your gaze flitted between them, not sure what to expect. Bucky didn’t give any sign of wanting to respond, making you wonder if he had heard Cap at all. But then a slow smile swept over his lips and you noted that it was probably the most feline smile you’d ever seen. It was a smile storybook villains wore after burning down the world.
“The only thing I have to say is that I regret not having the moment they ran into each other in the elevator on video tape, because that—” He turned and looked Sam and Clint straight in the eye. “—was amazing.”
No one spoke.
“Ruthless,” you said under your breath and just like marionettes, the four men glanced you before another argument broke.
You took the chance to turn the volume back up. “happier” was playing and you settled further into the couch to watch the scene unfold. Sam was arguing so passionately that the vein on his neck was making an impressive appearance. Clint, on the other hand, had a palm pressed flat to his chest; his face showing pure betrayal. Bucky didn’t seem to care for the chaos. He tried multiple times to grab for the bags only for one of them to move out of his reach. When you glanced at Steve, you nearly lost it.
He was staring at them like his lifespan had just been reduced to ten years. He looked like he wanted to throw pebbles after them.
Nudging him with your arm, you silently handed him one of your earphones. He glanced at you and hesitated, probably thinking of the many times you had offered him a taste of blaring electronic music. You rolled your eyes and insisted again. This time, Steve took it and you watched in amusement as his brows rose in surprise.
“I like the piano,” he mouthed and glimpsed at the name of the song. You grinned.
In the meantime, Clint and Sam had decided to form an alliance. They had planted themselves in the opposite couch, digging into the contents of the brown bags while Bucky gawked at them from the other side of the room with his mouth ajar and heart ripped out of his chest. Shaking his head in disbelief, he let himself fall into the armchair facing them. He looked devastated. You weren’t sure if you had to stifle a laugh or tears.
Next to you, Steve chocked back a laugh. You quirked an eyebrow and considered him only to realise the reason behind his glee. Bucky was brooding in his seat while Sam and Clint did an excellence job on commenting every bite. Nothing has ever received as much praise as that pasta, and you were certain that if this were a cartoon, there would be rain clouds hovering above Bucky’s head. As if the angels had set it up themselves, you took notice of the lyrics.
I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me
I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go
So find someone great but don't find no one better
Bucky was pouting, poking the leather of his armchair with his finger while stealing glances at Sam and Clint. It was perfect. Steve slapped a hand on his chest and he tipped his head back, laughing.
I hope you're happy, I wish you all the best, really
Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me
And think of me fondly when your hands are on her
I hope you're happy, but don't be happier
You were both laughing hysterically. The others had stopped their on-going war to stare at the two of you; their expressions baffled. The song came to an end and Steve gave back your earphone, rubbing his eye as if wiping away a tear. He rose and walked over to Bucky, hurling him to his feet and putting an arm around his shoulders.
“Oh, Buck,” Steve said with a note of laughter in his voice. “There’s a song I need to show you.” You smiled as you watched them leave.
“Well, this was fun.” You pushed yourself off the couch and shook your head as Sam offered you some of his sushi. “Thanks, but I’m on a mission to get heartbroken.”
Leaving the men to their food, you wandered the halls and listened to “traitor” as you walked past Wanda’s room. Her door was open and you could see that Vision was in the middle of a chess game with Bruce and Wanda. By the looks of it, Vision was as good as winning and you reined the urge to cheer for him. You peaked around the door frame and saw that Vision had their king in check. Deep betrayal crossed Wanda’s face.
You chuckled quietly and whispered, “FRIDAY, play what I’m listening to right now through the speakers in Wanda’s room.” FRIDAY didn’t bother to respond but not a second later, the lyrics were blasting through her room and their heads snapped up in confusion.
Don't you dare forget about the way
You betrayed me
'Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah
“Wanda?“ You heard Vision’s careful voice. “What is going on?”
Guess you didn't cheat
But you're still
You're still a traitor
“I’m not sure, but these lyrics aren’t wrong…You are a traitor.” Wanda narrowed her eyes at him, slowly bobbing her head to the music. Treason danced in her eyes. It was the beginning of a villain origin story.
“Maybe it’s a sign of God,” Bruce said and you almost burst out laughing.
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before I went and fell in love with you
“Hell yeah!” Wanda yelled and this time you bolted down the hallway, wheezing. You dashed right into Tony’s lab and slammed the door.
“What are you on?” He looked up in amusement. You simply shook your head, laughter still bubbling over your lips.
“Just spreading love in this facility.” You waved your hand at nothing in particular and Tony nodded.
“Right, I heard you asked Peter to break up with you to listen to that one album? Very dramatic. I like it.”
“See.” You gestured at him, indicating that he was the only one who got it. “It’s a good album. Maybe you should ask Pepper to divorce you.”
Tony gave a humourless laugh. “Yeah, I don’t think she would come back if I asked her.”
“Yikes,” you mumbled and this time Tony’s laughed for real.
“So what? You’ve just been walking around waiting for heartbreak?” He turned back to whatever he was working on. You stepped closer to get a peek.
“Precisely.”
“Sounds tiring.”
“I’m powered by exhaustion” You handed him the wrench he needed. “Want a listen? I think there’s a song you might like.”
He contemplated the offer and lifted his shoulder in a half-shrug. “Sure, why not.” You couldn’t help but squeal. You knew that Tony probably didn’t care but sharing your music was always exciting.
Beaming, you removed your headphones and connected your phone to the speakers of Tony’s lab. The first tunes of “good 4 u” started playing and Tony tapped his foot to the beat, head bobbing just slightly. When the chorus hit, he stood up and you stepped back, thinking he wanted to headbang. Instead, he reached for a tool that was further away. You didn’t miss the way he moved his shoulders in a little dance move though.
“I like this one,” he said, and you flashed him a smile. You continued working on the suit, handing Tony things you knew he needed until you passed him a plier and he froze. You furrowed your brows, glanced at the tool you knew was the right one, and cocked your head in silent question.
Maybe I'm too emotional
Or maybe you never cared at all
Looking you straight in the eyes, he flung the plier over his shoulder, opened a drawer, and took out another plier to use on his suit. You gasped.
“How dare you,” you whispered in shock. Tony had the nerve to shrug.
“Enjoy your little heartbreak moment, Y/N.” He shooed you away like a cat. “FRIDAY, yank up the volume, would you.”
Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy
Not me, if you ever cared to ask
Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me
“Guys?” Peter’s voice was drowned out by the booming music. He was leaning against the doorframe, watching in amusement as you and Tony towered on the lab tables, using screwdrivers as provisional microphones. While Tony played a terrific air guitar, you sank dramatically to your knees and impressed the crowd with your air drumming skills.
“Guys?” Peter tried again, chuckling. This time you and Tony whipped around at the same time and pointed straight at Peter.
Like a damn sociopath
You threw your arms up in the air and spun in circles while Tony jumped into quite an impressive split leap.
I've lost my mind
I've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom
Just over the fact that I really don't get it
But I guess good for you
The song came to an end, and you leapt on Tony’s table to share a screwdriver with him as you sang the last lyrics together.
Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily
The song ended and all you could hear was heavy breathing. Peter began to clap. “This was great, you guys. Wow.”
You exchanged glances with Tony before making a show of bowing at the waist.
“So this is what happens when I refuse to break up with you?” Peter strolled over to where you sat on the lab table, positioning himself between your legs. Tony chuckled and jumped off to grab a water bottle from across the room.
“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that,” you said, just for the devil of it.
Peter smiled. “Cap and Bucky are crying over a song, Vision is sending Wanda flowers in ten-minute intervals, and you are down here having a rock concert with Tony.”
You gave him a toothy grin. “I was just feeling sour.”
* * *
stay hydrated pals
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vergess · 2 years ago
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(reposted because??? tumblr ate or deleted the first post???)
So. Lots of pain meds at the moment, so this is a little bit nonsensical, but, I have been playing the newly released video game I was a teenage exocolonist (available on steam, not linked because tag visibility) while I am laid up in bed.
Lots of opinions, basically all positive. There’s a specific thing I want to talk about in more detail, but this post got too long so I will just link a future post on the gender politics of nature, nurture, and future as presented by the twins Dys and Tang.
So instead here’s my Most Recommendable Qualities (mostly free of spoilers):
Native linux compatibility:
you know how I am about that. I cannot believe I’ve become the very linux guy I so hated when I was working retail…
Upsettingly beautiful art
2D gaming is my first love but man the medium has come a long way since needing a flashlight to play pokemon. Sometimes I forget how far, and then games like this pop up with the gorgeous art and expressive characters, and I inevitably find myself wondering why the “”“"mainstream”“”“ video game market (in as much as such exists these days) focused so obsessively on photo realistic 3D when inevitably a well directed art style is what matters most.
The backgrounds and environments in the game are all extremely lush, with a gorgeous, colorful style that if I had become an art critic instead of a writing critic I would probably have better terminology to describe. Like, uh. Water colors or some shit. Stained glass. It’s all very luminous fuck dude I don’t know, the closest I’m going to get here is to write a poem and I’m not going to write a poem where the fuckign developers might see it. I need to be sober for that.
Characters:
I’m a character driven asshole, we all know this. It’s why I read so much fanfiction and play so much melodramatic fantasy and spend several hours of my life openly sobbing about a single fucking issue of Sandman. So, you’ll understand when I say, "people keep recommending me dating sims and I keep bouncing off of them because the characters never Do A Thing,” what my major criticism of a lot of Large Cast Of Dateable Character games is.
None of those issues arise here. I’ve played a few runs now, making a conscious decision on each to focus on a specific character. One. SIngular. Except, the thing is, you can’t do that. Not in the sense that the game won’t “let” you. You could certainly just dump all of your time into skills and one character. And the timeline of the game would change to reflect your isolationism.
Characters you don’t interact with during runs have their own “autonomous” storylines written, and each divergence your player character makes has its impacts meticulous tracked to create different character experiences every time, even as each character holds very tight to a narrow set of repeating traits. This only further emphasizes the fundamental strangeness of the player character, as the only one capable of being fundamentally different across timelines.
Also all the dateables are just, oh god, SO cute. And, by the time they are capable of fucking, very fuckable. Extremely attractive designs. Honestly everyone is super cute. The whole cast is magnificently designed. And that includes…
Monsters & World Building:
First of all, let’s get the important personal opinions out of the way. I think I would fuck the antagonist….uh….commander, whatever his title is. He looks like a fucked up centaur and I’m into that. There are also Adequate Amounts Of Tentacles. If you’ve known me long, you know that is a high bar, but the game clears it admirably and with diversity!
The alien fauna are all very FUCKING COOL. There’s a bit of throwaway dialogue from An Adult (your dad?) that talks about expecting the planet’s ecosystem to be ‘more alien’ than it is, and I respect the space program’s attempt a tpreparedness but for me, the whole uhhhhhh. Situation. With regards to the alien animals is PLENTY alien, and SO satisfying.
If you’ve ever been like, “god, I wish someone who wasn’t orson scott card would do all the cool shit they did in fucking speaker for the dead” then by GOD is this the game for you.
Accessibility:
The content warnings are extremely detailed. I reviewed them all, and having seen several of the ones I was most worried about, I feel they accurately described the situations without spoiling them. I did end up upsetting myself rather badly with one thing which happened, but it is hardly the developer’s fault that I misunderstood the context in which the “teenage pregnancy” CW would apply. I personally want to specify that (IN THE ROUTES I HAVE SO FAR PLAYED) the pregnancy is a very wanted, safe, and cherished.
The game players very well on controller, which is a must for me. There are a handful of UI elements that I have not yet been able to access by controller, but I think this is more a factor of my being bad at remembering buttons than the game’s design. If you have a mouse, that will solve the issue entirely. My GF speaks highly of the keyboard and mouse gameplay.
Turning off screen distortions and weather effects generally made the game very visually understandable for me, with large, clear iconography. If you have significant visual impairments, I don’t know if this is a good game to play. Picking up items on the ground can be tricky in some cases and there’s nothing for eg a high contrast or greyscale mode if you need that kind of thing.
Stability.
It’s easy to forget that near-launch properties are supposed to be complete games that function well. This game is very complete (VERY, INTRICATELY, COMPLETE) and very stable. With as complicated as the sets of cause-effect-timelines are, I expected it to be much easier to create minor paradoxes in dialogue.
So far, the only time events have seemed to happen slightly out of sequence due to relationship progression or what ever else, was when I made a conscious effort to be as obnoxious as possible at one point just to see if I could make it misbehave.
I haven’t been able to make it crash from within the game so far. I’m hardly a Q.A. tester anymore, but I do tend to be pretty aggressive to my games, so I feel confident in saying it’ll run steady for you if you get it.
Politics etc:
The queerness is all very excellent, super queer in very believable ways, especially given the cultural aspects of the worldbuilding. Characters behave queerly outside of just all being bi-for-the-player. The trans characters were all extremely appealing to me with strong characterization that included but did not obsess over their genders. There are at least 2 trans teens in the player character’s peer group and 2 trans adults of very different ages and character types, and there’s even a cute little intergenerational trans solidarity bit you can get sometimes. In addition, of course, to the ridiculously complete gender personalization.
You would not believe how many games forget that “bro” and “cowgirl” are gendered terms, but this one remembers.
The racial politics are, from my perspective, adequate to not interfere with my gameplay experience. The human characters do consistently refer to the environment and native animals in very colonialist terms but they’re literally colonizing the planet so…. The point is, there is not a native people being eradicated, though there are… territory wars(? I guess.) with both wild animals and antagonist peoples.
If you’re particularly sensitive to colonial narratives, handle with care, but I felt the writing in the routes I’ve seen so far handled most of the issues well. Plus I mean. THe title. Is “teenage exocolonist” like. I think the whole “colonialism is a major narrative theme” ituation should be made clear by that.
In terms of the human diversity it’s pleasingly broad. There are characters of all ages, builds, complexions, races, personality types. There’s a massive range of disabilities both physical and mental, as well as plenty of fun sci fi accomodations.
I mean just among the dateables I can remember top of the head, theres:
ambiguously asian twins who really said Autism Has Two Genders,
ambiguously brown fat girl with developmental disability,
ambiguously brown Gym Bro (derogatory) who is, and this is true, literally named 'ambiguously brown
ambiguously white farmboy who has clearly been eating his space wheaties and also helps invent space cannabis with your dad
unambiguously black girl who looks the autism twins dead in the eye and said 'no autism has one gender and is me’
unambiguously white tomboy who goes full samus
A dog (human)
Hatsune Miku (gender neutral)
Venom (twink)
There’s something here for everyone, all of these characters are super fascinating concepts honestly. I know I keep harping on that but it’s true so there.
Scenario writing:
It’s a bit difficult to separate the player character writing from the scenario writing for reasons that rapidly become clear in the game. Both are very good, though, so that’s fine. The writing is just really very good.
The variations on the timeline that you are able to uncover through repeated play are fascinatingly diverse even as certain events remain immutable, and the whole thing really plays with the concept of time travel and the other-self so beautifully. Really one of my very favourite explorations of the topic already, and I’ve only seen… IDK 4 endings along 2 routes? And there’s 29 endings???
It’s very good. The point is that it’s very good you should go play it.
It’s on steam. It’s app 1148760 on steam and it’s very good, it’s definitely worth more than what they’re charging. I mean have you seen what a $60 console game looks like these days, and then this is like. $25 and SO very much.
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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago
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Corpse’s Girl
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Derogatory Terms
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Summary: Y/N’s life as a regular college student is forever stripped away from her when her relationship with the famous YouTuber Corpse Husband is accidentally revealed during an online class of hers. How will she cope with the sudden spotlight and the unwanted attention, some of which crosses into bullying?
Requested by my amazing Tumblr friend @itsminniekat 🥰 She’s been reading and liking my works since day one and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. If you’re reading this, all I can say is thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sticking by my blog even when I posted some crappy fics. I’ll make sure this ain’t one of them. Love you with all my heart. ❤❤❤
P.S. - I named the mean character with my name so I hope no one who reads this has the same name. Wouldn’t want any of you feeling like the villain 😘
Who knew online class would be even more boring than being physically present for a lecture? Seriously, I find myself doing the weirdest of crap to entertain myself - like trying to balance a pen on the tip of my nose for example. I jot down some notes every now and then but that’s basically it. My mind can not fathom the concept on concentrating on whatever my professors are going on and on about. Well, full disclosure, I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to, especially with my boyfriend streaming in the other room.
He’s currently playing Among Us with his usual gaming squad. Listening to his input during the discussions, I can always tell when he’s lying. I honestly find it hilarious that his friends can’t pick up when he’s bullshitting them. I sometimes wonder if he has brainwashed them. And that’s one of the main reasons we don’t play Among Us together - he can’t lie to me. Not only do I pick up on his con with ease, but he always says he feels bad when he lies to me which is just the sweetest thing. Also, I refuse to play cause I’m shy. His friends are all well-known content creators and I’m a literal nobody. Every now and then I find myself wondering why Corpse is even with me. He’s always quick to push those thoughts out of my head and make sure they don’t return on a long notice, but they do interrupt my peace from time to time.
“Y/N, do you know?“ The sound of my professor saying my name takes me out of my eavesdropping of Corpse’s stream.
I panic, but quickly improvise, “Sorry, my internet is slow, you cut out for a second. What was the question?” I feel my face heating up, making me glad we are allowed to keep our cameras off.
“Question number 15 on page 82 in your textbook. Do you know the answer to it?“ My professor repeats himself, his tone annoyed.
I look down at the page that’s already opened in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the question is rather easy.
“Yeah, um, it’s...“ Suddenly, Corpse’s laugh reaches my room loud and clear. There’s no doubt my mic picked up the noise, especially since the door to my room is open.
The color drains from my face as I hurry to say the answer and remute myself. My eyes are wide as I stare at my screen, hoping no one will acknowledge that very recognizable laugh.
“OMG Y/N, are you watching a Corpse Husband stream in class?” One of the bitches in my class, Vy, speaks up, “Not a very goody-two-shoe move on your part, dear.” 
I purposely unmute my mic to mumble a quick ‘Shut up, bitch’ that somehow manages to fly under my professor’s radar and the class continues. It’s the first time something like this has happened and I’m not sure if I handled it properly or not.
The class ends shortly after, allowing me a sigh of relief as I disconnect from the meeting. 
“Fucking finally.“ I mumble to myself, leaning back in my desk chair. Tilting my head backwards, I see Corpse standing in the doorframe. I grin, not only because his presence itself makes me ten times happier, but also because he’s upside down from my viewpoint. “Well, hello there! How long have you been spying on me?“
He struts over to me, leaning his face over mine, “Long enough.” His lips linger above mine without any actual contact before he pulls away, allowing me to sit up straight and proper in the chair. “You still have classes?”
I nod my head while disappointedly rolling my eyes, “Yeah. One more. Shouldn’t be too bad since it’s English Lit. You’re done streaming?”
“Yeah, I just have some other things to do. I haven’t done a narration video in a while, I miss making that type of content.“ He plops down on my bed, running a hand through his messy black curls.
“Weren’t you recording some lines a few days ago?“ I frown as I try to recall if what I’m referring to actually happened or my brain is too fried to decipher reality from my bootleg perception of it. Online class, man - messes with your head like sleeping pills - makes you disoriented and exhausted with barely doing anything other than trying to wrap your brain around a lecture or two.
He hums affirmatively, “It’s not a finished project and I don’t even know if I’ll use those or rerecord them. I’ll have to listen to them again before I make a final decision.“
I tilt his chin upwards with my pointer finger, a gesture he has told me he finds very endearing, “I’m sure they’re great and you just refuse to be satisfied. Everything you do is great.“
He smiles a small, shy smile, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrist, holding my hand in place, “You’re biased. You like me too much to tell me when I do some bullshit.”
I scoff, “You know that isn’t true. If someone’s gonna kick your butt in formation, it’s gonna be me.“ I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away from him, “Go on, now. I have a class to attend. You distract me enough while you’re in the other room, I can only imagine how hard it’d be for me to focus if you were right by my side.“
He smirks, bowing a little as he makes his way out of the room, “You flatter me.”
I playfully roll my eyes, getting my headset back on as I tap the last class for the day. We have an assignment due to the start of the class which we’ll have to present if the professor approved of it. We basically had to write a psychoanalysis of a character from any book of our choice. I chose Heathcliff from ‘Wuthering Heights’ which is one of my favorite books of all time. I’m proud of what I wrote and the way I wrote it, but I’ve always barely scraped by with a B in this class, a B+ if I’m lucky, so I’ve never gotten any major credit, even when I put my 110% in the assignments and projects.
Well, color me surprised when the professor calls on me first to read my work, complimenting it on its detailed and specific nature. I get my printed assignment out in front of me and unmute myself.
“I wrote a psychoanalysis on for Heathcliff, a character from Emily Bronte’s novel ‘Wuthering Heights’.“ Just after I say this line, Corpse’s voice booms throughout the whole apartment, no doubt being picked up by my mic. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually talking, he can’t be that loud. I put two and two together when I recognize the lines he’s saying - the ones he recorded a few days ago. They’re coming from his computer speakers. He probably didn’t check the volume before playing back the recording.
I mute myself as quickly as possible, but it’s too late. The voice dies down as Corpse probably turned down the speakers.
My professor, who is already done with this lecture, just annoyedly remarks, her words overdosed with sarcasm: “Read your assignment and you can go back to whatever it is you are watching.”
“Wow, Y/N! Again?! Are you one of those crazy obsessed fans or something? Is Corpse Husband all you watch?“ This bitch is really poking a stick at me, huh? The only crazy obsessed fan here is her, and my friends but they are allowed. Little do all of them know, I am obsessed but not simply over a YouTuber. I’m obsessed with my boyfriend who just happens to be a YouTuber.
“No commentary, please.“ The professor scolds her, “Go on, Y/N.“
I finish reading without any other disturbances. The professor compliments my essay again when I’m done, the small incident at the beginning forgotten already. Well, not by everyone. One of my friends shot me a quick text to joke about it which only earned an eye roll from me.
My friends don’t know that I’m dating Corpse either. As I said, they are simping HARD over him while I act the most indifferent on the subject. Whenever they ask my opinion on him I either say ‘he’s OK’ or just avoid answering completely. I know saying anything more enthusiastic than that would turn into a snowball rolling down a snowy hill - I’d just keep babbling about how nice, amazing, wonderful and a gift to this world Corpse is, inevitably revealing our relationship in the process.
I’m afraid of revealing my relationship with Corpse in front of these people. They are all run on jealousy and selfishness and I can only imagine how mean they’d be about it. I’m already not too fond of them, it would only be worse if any of my personal life was exposed.
When the class finally ends I remove my headset, putting my forehead down on the desk, barely missing the keyboard. I groan in frustration and anger at myself for not fighting back. I could’ve and should’ve said something - ANYTHING. But what? That’s a question I can’t find the answer to.
“Hey...“ Corpse’s hesitant voice comes from behind me, “You ok?“
I straighten my posture, turning to him with a smile. “Yeah, but these people suck.”
I get up from my chair as he approaches me, basically falling in his arms. The comfort I feel radiating off of him makes me relax, forget the past hour or so. He has always had this effect on me. Like my own personal kryptonite to my anger and anxiety.
“Did I get you in any trouble because of that?“ His voice shows clear concern and guilt. 
I wrap my arms around him tighter, burying my head in his chest. “No, don’t worry about it.“ 
And I really wasn’t in trouble. Not until now that the video is officially posted....
I can call these people dumb all I want but they sure put two and two together awfully fast. They recognized the lines they heard during class as the same ones from his new video that came out almost a week after the incident, aka two days ago. It’s safe to say I haven’t touched my phone or computer since.
“This is all my fault.“
Of all the horrible things I suspected would happen this has to be the worst - Corpse is blaming himself for it. I am prepared to take all the shit these people have to throw at me but seeing Corpse beating himself up over this is killing me. No amount of convincing can change his mind. Nothing I say helps.
“Please, stop doing this to yourself. Non of this is your fault, Corpse.“ I’ve repeated this sentence more than a thousand time these past forty eight hours, each time saying it more and more desperately.
“All of it is my fault, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I hate myself so much.“ Has been his reply single time.
 I can’t watch him be so mean to himself. It’s the most conflicting thing when the person you love most is torturing themselves. It’s easy if it’s someone else doing it, you just kick their ass. But what are you supposed to do when the person you want to protect is the same one you need to protect them from.
Corpse has shut himself away in his recording room these past few hours and though he clearly needs to be alone, he still left the door open just a crack cause he knows I’ll be worried sick otherwise.
While I’m alone in the living room, I’ve finally managed to brace myself and build enough courage to power up my laptop. Last time it was on it was going mad with notifications.
“It’s digital. Only digital. It can’t hurt you too badly if it can’t touch you, right?“ I mumble to myself, already frustrated despite not having yet seen all the horrors that await me.
And horrors there were. Everywhere. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook.
My grades. Some pictures of me no one has ever seen. My school files. People from my class tweeting Corpse to ‘expose’ me for the ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ I really am. Corpse hasn’t touched social media either and I plan on making sure it stays that way. God only knows how much worse he’ll get if he sees these claims.
And then, like a notification sent straight from hell, an email from my professor.
Practical lectures on Friday. Be here at 9 AM. Don’t forget your mask and gloves.
Good thing I opened my laptop when I did. Friday is tomorrow and I need to prepare for this day. Not only do I need to hit the books but I need to toughen up a bit. I can’t go there looking like I feel - like a mess.
Alright, time to put the brave face on. No more wallowing in it, at least not until tomorrow afternoon.
I make a study plan and hop in the shower. I feel the need to apologize to my hair for washing it so roughly, basically yanking at my strands from frustration that has been suppressed for too long.
I get our of the boiling hot shower, red as a lobster, and change into some clean comfortable clothes and put my ass in study mode. I remove all the scary expectations of the morning to come from my mind and let the information the textbooks has to offer seep into my brain.
                                                            *  *  *
I’m about to head out and, despite my put-together composure, I am a wreck inside. I actually put effort into my appearance, I mean - I even styled my hair. A pretty façade to hide a ruin.
I saw my friends’ texts last night, all three of them ending their friendship with me because they felt betrayed. I haven’t yet decided how to feel about that. Doesn’t matter at the moment, there are more important matters at hand, aka surviving the next three hours.
My college is within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. That ten minute walk has never been so stressful, not even during exam season. The air feels a little harder to breathe, the path a little shorter to walk. And my moment of reckoning a little too close.
I feel eyes on me the second I start walking through the park of our campus. Sure, I could just be paranoid, but the feeling is too real to be just my imagination in overdrive. I’m glad I have my hair down and a mask on so the redness of my cheeks and neck isn’t on display. That’s a sign of weakness right now.
We have two an hour and a half long classes between which we have a snack break that’s half an hour. I usually enjoy that period but I’m dreading it now. These assholes can only be so mean in the presence of a professor, but during lunch break they can increase that tenfold. 
“Well if it isn’t Corpse’s girl.“ I hear that a lot. The whispers are not so much whispers as intentionally loud enough for me to hear remarks. I’m not bothered by them, it’s the least they can do. If I let such a simple thing get to me, I’d be crumbling by the end of first period.
I hear some shuffling behind me and out of the corner of my eye I see, yeah you guessed it, THAT bitch. She’s standing as close to me as she can without violating Covid regulations. A mask is covering her face but the menacing look in her eyes tells me all I need to know about the interaction that’s about to go down.
“I’d ask how much he pays you for the hour.....“ her long nails tap the wooden desk, “but that’d be rude. I bet it’s tough being a maid. Do you just clean or are you a multipurpose lap dog? No offense, I’m genuinely curious.“
“Vy, would you be so kind as to give Y/N some room to breathe?“ The professor asks as he nonchalantly walks in.
Vy rolls her eyes, batting her eyelashes at me, “Talk to you later, sweetheart.” With a fake friendly wave she’s out of my hair, at least for now.
Remember what I said about these people not being as dumb as I pegged them to be? Yeah, scratch that. These fuckers actually tried getting away with taking pictures of me with flash in broad daylight. Like, HELLO! I have two functioning eyes and a brain, I’m onto you. Sadly, me having figured out their childish but hurtful methods of humiliating me doesn’t change much. They still posted the pics they took, using the most derogatory terms they could find in the English language, always making sure to tag Corpse and me both.
Needless to say, these were the longest three hours of my life.
                                                              *  *  *
Shutting the door to our apartment behind me causes relief of the highest levels. I feel like I’ve locked out all the bad shit I have had to deal with these past twenty four hours. 
I’m tired. I’m fucking exhausted. I feel like a discarded piece of paper. 
And it all starts crumbling. A wall is bound to start slowly falling apart after being hit over and over again, each time feeling the blows with a stronger intensity. 
I slide down the door sitting down on the floor and slowly taking my shoes off. I put my bag beside me and wrap my arms around my knees, hiding my head in the space between them and my chest.
One tear slides down my cheek.
Another follows.
And another, this time accompanied by a choked sob.
A pair of arms wraps around the ball that my body has been shaped into. One of his hands comes up to stroke my hair gently, feeding me the comfort I have been longing for since I left the apartment this morning.
“I saw it. All of it. All the shit they talk about you. All the names they call you. And I’ve never wanted to beat so many people up simultaneously.“ His words make me raise my head from its low position, giving him a knowing look. “I wish I could. I would, but that would land me in jail. Which doesn’t even sound so bad cause I don’t like going out. Only problem is you wouldn’t be with me. I wouldn’t want you to be there with me, don’t get me wrong, I’d never want you to end up in jail. I-...” I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. A quick kiss that says so much but mainly shows the immeasurable gratitude for his support.
Seeing those awful tweets and comments had the complete opposite effect on him. He no longer blames himself but the people who actually deserve the blame - all those jerks from my college.
I pull away, giving him a small smile. “I would never let you go to jail.” 
He smiles back at me, overjoyed that my mood is slowly being lifted, “Come on, I have a nice crowd that would like to meet you.”
I know exactly what he means. Felix, Sean, Rae, Dave, Sykkuno and the rest of his friends. The people I’ve been so shy and afraid to meet since day one. Being shy doesn’t really make sense now, seeing as how they know I exist and that I’m a part of Corpse’s life. 
What do I have to lose?
“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.“ Corpse’s black avatar runs around my cyan one in the Among Us lobby.
I can’t help but giggle when I unmute my mic, “Hi everyone! It’s so nice to finally meet you.“ They each introduce themselves, expressing how happy they are to be meeting me too.
It’s the first time in what feels like a while that I’m truly having fun. These people are wonderful, each so unique and lovely. They never brought up the scandal nor acted as though they knew about it. I know they did and I am beyond grateful that they never mentioned it or treated me any differently because of it. Also, Corpse was streaming the whole time. I had my phone on his stream, my eyes nervously scanning the chat every now and then. I couldn’t believe it. Corpse’s real fans were just as wonderful as his friends - they were nothing but supportive and happy to have met me.
Now, I can either choose to believe these people were being so nice to me out of sympathy or I can believe they really like me and appreciate me for who I am and not for what happened to me. 
I choose to believe the latter.
And while I’m still getting accustomed to this whole new spotlight, I know I’ll be able to handle it as long as I’m holding Corpse’s hand in the process. All I need is to have him beside me and I’m prepared to tackle anything.
“They love you.“ Corpse tells me once the stream is done and we’ve hopped out of the Discord call, “But I love you more.“
His arms wrap around my waist while mine instinctively find their way around his neck, “I love them, too. But they’re at the number 2 spot.”
He smirks at me, “I wonder who’s at number 1.”
I push up on my toes, putting my lips an inch away from his, “Hmm, I wonder...”
He doesn’t let me finish, silencing my teasing with a sweet, loving kiss.
@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat
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miekasa · 4 years ago
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the babysitter’s club (1)
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+ pairing: levi ackerman + (fem) reader, featuring bright-eyed but very easily intimidated interns and part-time babysitters eren and armin who are trying their best
+ genres and warnings: modern au, parents au, fluff, yes the dog’s name is captain and he’s tiny what about it
+ summary: eren and armin are good subordinates, who happen to be pretty good babysitter, too. usually. 
+ word count: 2.7k
+ notes: this was just something fun i edited and reworked again, also to provide some more insight about dad levi and my oc kids; this focuses only on holden, who is the oldest of the bunch, but you’ll more about the rest as they go
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It’s not that Levi doesn’t trust Holden’s babysitters, he just would rather watch over her himself. Moreover, he would rather have the time to spend with his small daughter instead of having to leave her in the care of someone else who isn’t you, but sometimes life gets busy, and babysitters come in real handy.
He still doesn’t understand why Erwin would schedule the both of you to attend such important work-related meetings on the same weekend; much less, to send you half-way around the world for yours, and then book Levi for damn near twelve hours on a Saturday. He would murder Erwin if he weren’t his direct boss, and a long-time friend. But shit happens, and while it’s a major inconvenience and pain in his ass to be working on a weekend, it’s good to know he could rely on the brats at the office to step up on such short notice.
“I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that if anything happens, I won’t hesitate to dismember you,” Levi says calmly, closing his briefcase after triple-checking its contents.
“Of course,” Armin stiffens visibly, awkward laughter seeping through his words, “Eren and I would never let anything happen to Holden.”
To his left, Holden has already tugged Eren to the coffee table for a game of children’s Scrabble, determined to show off her new skills. Levi smiles slightly as he remembers playing the game with her last week, and how awe-struck she was to have seen Levi create a word bigger than “unattainable”—which is currently the longest word in her four-year-old vocabulary. But he’s certain she would have no trouble beating Eren.
He gives Armin a slight nod. He knows Holden is in good hands; or good enough hands with Armin, anyway. It’s not the first time the duo has babysat, and for as air-headed and clumsy Eren could be at the office, he seemed to be pretty damn good with kids if Holden’s attachment to the brunette was anything to go by.
Levi recounts that you’ve questioned on multiple occasions why Eren was so dedicated to being your PA when he seemed to have a potential career in taking care of, and maybe even teaching children. Not that he’s not a good assistant to you, but he’s certainly not as organized or detailed-oriented as Armin. Levi shrugs away the thought. Eren’s career choices are none of his business; his only concern is that he keeps his daughter safe and sound.
“Right. My card is on the kitchen island, you can buy lunch and dinner or whatever, I don’t think there’s much in the fridge,” Levi informs Armin. He looks briefly to the clock on the wall; he really should get going. “Remember to walk Captain at some point, and no matter what Holden says, he absolutely does need a leash on him. If Erwin isn’t being a complete asshat, I’ll be home by nine. (Y/N) will probably still be on her flight, so call me if you need anything.”
Armin nods enthusiastically, promising Levi that they would take care of everything. They’d better.
“Alright, I’m heading out,” Levi announces, pulling his keys from the table near the door, “Be good, Holden. Tell Armin and Eren if you need anything.”
Holden’s head perks up at the sound of her name. Elegantly, or as elegantly as a four-year-old can be, she stands from her seated crisscross position, to run over to Levi by the door. He should remind her that she should use walking feet inside the house, but he can’t bring himself to, instead crouching down to meet her height.
“Bye, daddy,” she tells him sweetly. Levi reaches a hand out to ruffle the top of her head, much to the small girl’s chagrin. She sports a grimace almost identical to his as he reaches up to try and smooth out the aftermath of her father’s affections, “Daddy!”
Levi can’t help but chuckle, reaching two fingers out to poke at his daughter’s forehead. “Be good. I’ll be back soon.”
“Mommy too?”
Levi sighs, “No, mommy doesn’t come back until Tuesday.”
“That’s four days away,” Holden’s doesn’t hesitate to express her dissatisfaction. Levi nods, a little proud of how quickly she’d calculated that in her head, “Can Eren stay until Tuesday?”
“No, Eren cannot.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Holden crinkles her nose. Levi really has got to do something about her fascination with Eren.
Holden looks backwards to where Eren is still seated around the coffee table, he and Armin watching the father-daughter duo. After reconciling with the fact that Eren does, in fact, have his own home to go back to at the end of the day, Holden turns back around, and holds her hand up, palm facing Levi. He does the same, bringing his larger palm to hers, so that her hand is pushed against the middle of his.
Not one for hugs, kisses, or larger displays of affection, Holden simply turns her palm so that her hand grabs around Levi’s as best as possible, hooking her thumb around his pinky finger—what Levi’s heard the young girl call a hand hug.
“Bye, daddy,” she repeats, squeezing his hand, “Come back soon.”
Levi bends his fingers to wrap around her hand, “I will.”
“Keep an eye on her,” Levi reminds Armin and Eren, after standing back up and gripping his briefcase in his hand, “Don’t cause too much trouble.”
“Holden never causes trouble,” Eren says in response, but his words are spoken in coos to the young girl, who’s already back at his side. 
Levi scoffs, “I was talking to you.” 
“We’ll be fine, boss, don’t worry,” Eren chuckles with an awkward blush, “We love looking after Holden.”
“I’m not your boss,” Levi deadpans, double-checking his pockets for his keys, “You’d better hope everything is fine. Call me if anything happens, I’ll be back soon.” 
With one final round of good-byes, and a wave from his daughter, Levi’s out the door, and stepping into his car with a grimace. It was just one stupid day out of his life. Besides, Holden would be fine with Armin and Eren; she always is. Levi is just grumpy that he can’t be the one to spend the day with her. 
He sighs, reluctantly, putting his keys in the ignition. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner he could come back to Holden. Everything would be fine in the meantime; for now, he had to focus on how he was going to get himself to sit through Erwin’s long-ass meeting. 
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“Levi! Hi! Um… okay, so don’t freak out, but Armin and I are at the hospital with Holden right now—don’t freak out—because there was a small incident at lunch—don’t freak out and fire me please—but! It’s all gonna be okay, they’re already treating her and she’s doing fine now, so don’t freak—”  
“Tell me not to freak out one more fucking time and I’ll castrate Armin and feed you his balls myself.”
“You sound a little freaked out,” Eren placates, wincing and holding his phone away from his ear when Levi growls in response.
“You have five seconds to tell me what you two idiots did to my daughter and explain why I shouldn’t decapitate you immediately.”
“It’s a funny story, actually—so, um, we think Holden might be allergic to nuts…?”
“What do you mean might be, Jaeger?”
Eren can feel his heart in his throat. He eyes Armin on the other side of Holden’s hospital bed. He looks no better—color almost completely drained from his face, but Eren doesn’t think he can say much else to his boss before his knees give out from underneath him.
“Uh, well, it was a lot of technical terms, and—I—um, actually I’m going to let Armin explain!” Eren hurries, all but chucking his phone at the unsuspecting blonde.
Armin’s blue eyes look almost grey with anxiety, but before he can protest, Eren is flailing his hands and pointing fingers and reminding him that Levi will kill them both if he doesn’t start talking.
Reluctant, and terrified, Armin finally lifts the phone to his ear, stuttering out a pathetic hello, but Levi cuts him off before he can say anything else.
“Save it. Send me your location, and pray I don’t kill you when I get there.” Armin chokes out a “yes, sir,” before slowly bringing the phone down to his side.
The good news is that Holden’s allergic reaction wasn’t too severe: her throat had been irritated, and hives had emerged as a result, but it hadn’t been closing up. And luckily, Eren had the endurance to run nearly a mile and half with a four year old tucked under his arm; because with the traffic Armin observed whilst he and Captain huffed and lagged behind, it would have taken thrice as long to get Holden to the ER had they waited and called for an ambulance.
Even better was that Holden was an unnervingly calm kid, even whilst having an allergic reaction. She looked almost back to normal now, save for a few red looking blotches on her neck and upper arm; and seemed more than content to be watching a video on Eren’s phone, despite the situation. She was a little bummed out to find out that she could never eat the new ice cream she liked so much ever again, but she seemed to quickly get over it once Eren reminded her that there were lots of other flavors out there for her to try. Flavors that wouldn’t make her choke to death.
Still, Eren and Armin could probably kiss their jobs goodbye, seeing as they had nearly just poisoned their bosses’ daughter. Holden seemed to like them enough, but, unfortunately, Holden wasn’t the Ackerman who signed their checks.
At the very least, Eren doesn’t think you’ll be too upset with him. He doesn’t think you’ll be ecstatic to hear that while you were away on your already inconvenient work-trip on the other side of the globe, that he also managed to land your daughter in a hospital bed… but you were the more forgiving one. Then again, maybe not so forgiving when it comes to the health and wellbeing of your daughter. 
Eren falls back against the wall in dread. You weren’t even in the same country as him and he was worried about what you might say or do to him. Levi was probably less than twenty minutes away and fully capable of beheading him.
“You… uh, you think the Interior Branch is still looking for interns?” Eren breaks the silence, looking towards Armin, who’s taken the seat next to Holden’s bed, petting Captain robotically as the dog sits in his lap.
“I don’t think it matters,” Armin responds, “They won’t hire corpses.”
Fifteen minutes, and several run red lights later, Levi is bursting through the doors to the pediatric wing of the emergency room. He doesn’t care about the old woman at the reception yelling at him for causing a ruckus, or the other parents, doctors, or visitors eyeing him for marching around like he owned the place. Holden was in there somewhere, and he was going to get to her.
“Holden—oh, god, Holden,” Levi coos, frantic, as he marches into Holden’s room, scurrying to the side of her hospital bed. A cold hand reaches up to stroke her face. Angry, red bumps litter the sides of neck, her cheeks are puffier than usual, and the perimeter of her mouth seems a bit irritated, but Levi is relieved. She’s okay, his baby girl is okay.
“’M fine, daddy,” Holden assures him. She’s almost overly-perceptive for her age, able to pick up on her father’s out of character antics, and does her best to console him. “Eren ran with me all the way here when I started coughing and itchin.’”
Levi nods, the dark grey splotches in Holden’s eyes bringing him comfort, ensuring him that she was okay. “They gave me a shot, and I don’t like needles, but I didn’t even cry at all. Ask, Armin and Eren, they saw! Captain, too.”
“Brave girl,” Levi smiles, reaching his hand up to push her hair out of her face then leans over to press a kiss to her forehead.
Levi had almost forgotten that Eren and Armin were in the room until he hears a blundering cough from behind him. The younger boys look petrified, Eren practically shaking in his shoes, while Armin doesn’t even have the confidence to look him in the eye.
“We’re really sorry, Levi,” Eren apologizes, voice scratchy and wobbly, like he’d been the one to just get a shot, “We didn’t know—and when she started coughing and saying she couldn’t breathe, I swear, I ran here as fast as I could—”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s… fine?”
Levi sighs. Maybe he’d been a little harsh with them on the phone, letting his emotions get the best of him. He’d already been pissed off enough to not have the time to spend with Holden this weekend; hearing that she’d been hurt was just the final push over the edge for him, but it wasn’t necessarily Armin or Eren’s fault.
“I didn’t know either,” Levi exhales, reaching at hand out to pet the top of Holden’s head again, the young girl now distracted once again by the phone in her hand, “She’s never had a reaction to anything before, and neither (Y/N) or I have any strong allergies.”
Armin shuffles where he’s standing. “The doctor said she might be allergic to tree nuts. We, uh, we gave her pistachio ice cream after lunch.”
If there’s anything concerning Levi, it’s that they gave Holden ice cream before dinner, but he supposes he can let it go for now.
“Eren told me to try it, and it tasted good, daddy,” Holden interjects, “Before I started coughing, it was good.”
“Ah, well, you can’t—you shouldn’t eat things that make you feel sick!” Eren stutters loudly.
“But it was good,” Holden pouts, “And you said to try new things, Eri. I won’t know if it makes me sick if I don’t try them.”
Levi holds back his laughter. He knows that Holden definitely wouldn’t want to try the same same flavor again knowing now that she was allergic to it; she was just pulling at Eren’s leg. Levi would have to keep an eye out for the stuff anyway, especially if her oh-so-precious Eren has expressed any former love for it. 
“Um, Levi, sir,” Armin calls, pulling Levi’s attention towards the blonde, “We didn’t know if (Y/N) would have landed already, but do you think you should call her, to, um, let her know?”
Levi’s face pales three shades when he realizes that none of them had already informed you that your daughter was currently hospitalized with a new found allergy.
“You can call her,” Levi says, a shudder in his spine at the thought of relaying this information to you, “That’s your death sentence, not mine.”
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