#I was on the way out and they gave me a pamphlet about like
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idsb · 24 days ago
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I am out and fine except the absolute fucking moron who checked me in (who tried to force me to stand while I spoke to him even when I told him my pain was 9/10) didn’t take my insurance info, so while I corrected it upon returning home I believe there is a very high chance half the (shockingly thorough) shit they did to me wasn’t covered at all!!!! So!!!! Medical debt for nothing 2025!!!!!!!
happy new year I am going to the ER bc I woke up and after like an hour out of nowhere something became very very deeply wrong w my uterus haha
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killmonk · 1 year ago
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hate the military hate being like the 4th generation of 17 year old kid to be like "I really hope today my friend doesn't lose his leg in the middle east somewhere". like girl he needs to take his ACTs put him back in iowa please for the love of GOD dishonorable discharge for something stupid and then hes home 🙂. but alas things will never be like My Freshman Year Of Highschool Again Because I Am Not 14 Anymore And Nothing Will Go Back To The Way It Was.
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januaryembrs · 5 months ago
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MY BABY, HERE ON EARTH | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [BONUS]
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Description: the NINE months of pregnancy
Word count: 10.9k
warnings: pregnancy duh, babies, giving birth, c-section, ummm body fluids? lots of emotions, nausea & sickness, talks of weight gain and stretch marks.
authors note: y'all... there you have it. I will be back to finish their story but until then this is my goodbye piece until I have finished my hiatus to write my own book and start uni (again). I can't wait to take these two (three) on the final lap they deserve but for now.. I hope you enjoy pookies being pookies.
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MONTH ONE. The one where she finds out.
She hadn’t meant to find out when she did. It had been just a routine implant swap that she’d had twice already in the last six years. 
“Any blood clotting, any pain at all?” The nurse asked, jotting down a few notes on her form as she sat back on the bed and waiting for the numbing cream to take hold. 
She shook her head. “It’s weird as hell to feel and when I think about it too long it freaks me out, but no, no pain,” She said and the nurse chuckled, nudging her glasses up her nose.
“And finally, is there any chance that you’re pregnant?” She asked, no doubt having rehearsed the same script about thirty times that day alone.
Bugsy gave her a flat smile, “Small chance, but I guess that’s what this is for, huh?” 
The nurse looked at her then, as if mulling over the words before she said something, “Small chance?”
“I mean, nothing is a hundred percent effective,” Bugsy tried to weasel her way out of the awkward conversation, because she had absolutely no intention of letting the nurse know her and Spencer had been at it like bunnies since the Hotch had forced them to take medical leave. Who knew having so much time on her hands with her very handsome boyfriend would have that effect? 
The nurse pursed her lips, and already the woman felt like she’d said too much. 
“Alright, we’re going to do a routine test, just need a quick urine sample,” Bugsy felt her cheeks heat, though she was in no position to argue. Her discomfort must have been more obvious than she thought, however, as the nurse went on to explain, “If I give you this implant and there’s a fertilised egg, it can lead to ectopic pregnancy, in which case you’ll need surgery. Trust me, honey, peeing in a cup is your easy option,” 
She gave the practitioner a small nod, wondering if she needed to message Spencer to say she’d be running a little late. She knew he was likely doing the sudoku in the waiting room magazine, since he’d refused to let her come alone. And even though she’d told him she would be fine on her own, he’d seen through it, had even offered to get her ice cream on the way home for putting on a brave face. 
And yet her face was nothing short of horror struck not even half an hour later when the nurse showed her the stick with empathetic eyes. 
“Congratulations,” The woman said cautiously, a fake smile plastered on her face as the girl stared at her, utterly gobsmacked. 
“But, I thought…” Bugsy stammered, running a finger over where the nurse had removed her implant, “But I had everything ready, I never let it get late, I did what I was supposed to,” 
“You said it yourself, honey, nothing is a hundred percent effective besides abstinence-” 
“That’s just what parents say to make sure their kids aren’t banging every Tom, Dick and Harry out there!” Bugsy was near screeching, the worry in her tone clear as a bell and her chest hot with panic. 
Pregnant. She was pregnant, there was no way she could be…
Except there was exactly a way she could be, seeing as she struggled even on a dry spell to keep her hands off Spencer longer than a few days at a time. And he was just as bad.
The nurse huffed, rifling through her drawers for a handful of pamphlets. She passed them to Bugsy whose mouth was still bobbing with more expletives she held herself back from saying, and it wasn’t until she saw the happy couple on the front of the first one, holding a very swollen and round bump that she thought she might be sick. 
Comical timing, she hissed at herself. 
“There are always options, sweetheart. Abortion is legal in Virginia, if that is what you decide, however there is always information and support that we recommend looking into before you make a solid decision,” Her response was professional even though her expression was compassionate, and Bugsy knew she must have looked scared because that was exactly how she felt and she had little to no room to hide it. 
Abortion? Is that what she wanted? Except it wasn’t just about what she wanted, it was what Spencer wanted too. Even if he would argue against that being the case in a heartbeat, even if he would tell her she had every right to be the only one to make a decision, no matter what he thought. But maybe it wasn’t so much about needing his opinion for that reason, and more it was because she had absolutely no clue what to do and Spencer was always good at making sense of the things she didn’t know how to deal with. 
She nodded silently, her mouth dry as sandpaper as she took the leaflets and stuffed them in the bottom of her purse where she hoped Spencer wouldn’t go looking. 
She barely remembered standing on liquid legs, barely remembered the way her chest felt tight and her head spun as she thought of the fact her body had a baby growing inside it. 
No, it wasn’t a baby. Not yet. It was likely the size of a grain of sand, miniscule. That wasn’t a baby, that was nothing. 
But it would be. Eventually. It would be hers and Spencer’s baby.
And she wanted to tell him, wanted to tell him the second she saw him there in the waiting room, his head shooting up the second the door opened and she left looking a little ill and shaken. 
“All done? Everything go as normal?”  He preened, standing immediately as she neared him, his hand immediately weaving around her shoulder to pull her close by. Gently, ofcourse, because she had a big, fat bandage where her implant should have been. 
“Y-yeah,” She stammered, hoping he didn’t hear the shake in her throat. Yet she knew immediately that he did. Because he leaned in to give her a delicate kiss to her forehead not even a moment later, “C-can we go straight home, I’m not feeling ice cream anymore,” 
He looked worried, as anyone who knew her would because Bugsy turning down free pudding was a blaring red siren in his eyes.
“Yeah, sure,” He said, stroking a gentle hand over the side of her head and leading her where he’d parked the car. 
And it was that worry, the same cloud that hung over him for months with Scratch and his mom and the Dirty Dozen and everything else that was put onto his shoulder that made her shut her mouth right then and there. He didn’t need one other thing to contend with, not when he was already carrying the weight of the world. 
And so she wouldn’t tell him. Not yet at least.
MONTH TWO. The one with the scan.
“Spence, would you stop worrying, I’m sure everything will be fine,” She urged in the gentlest tone she could muster. Yet she was a hypocrite, because she felt her hands shaking as she sat in the chair, trying to adjust her sleeves for something to do and Spencer stopped his leg from bouncing. 
Looking over at her, he sighed, holding out a large palm and weaving her fingers in between his and she flicked a look over at him, her own eyes nervous. 
“I’m sorry,” He gave her a guilty smile, “If it helps, it’s half excitement too,”
And she smiled then, shaking her head as he squeezed her hand gently. 
“Me too,” She confessed, looking down at her stomach that didn’t seem all too different than usual. She’d felt a few symptoms up until this point, a bit of nausea but that was nothing she couldn’t handle, headaches here and there. But it wasn’t anything exactly life changing that she’d expected when she’d always thought of pregnancy. 
If anything, none of it felt real quite just yet. Having only been a few weeks since she’d told Spencer, they’d spent the majority of the time searching for houses and appointments and gynaecologists and neonatal care, and whenever they were free, they were trying to get used to the idea of the two of them as parents.
“Did you know they’re around half an inch long by now,” Spencer said, his hazel eyes falling to where her shirt hid her stomach that had yet to change no matter how many times he stared at it, “About a third of that is made up of their head,”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” She shrugged, stroking her thumb along the edge of his pinky finger, “It’s your kid, they’re going to have biggest brain out there,” 
He snickered, lifting her hand to press a kiss to the back of it softly, “If they have even half your brains, we’re going to be raising the next Galileo,” 
“Mr and Mrs Reid,” Their heads shot up at the midwife, Bugsy fumbling for words to correct him as the two of them stood up to greet him with bashful smiles. She didn’t need to look at Spencer’s face to know he’d gone bright red. 
“It’s uh, Prentiss-Reid,” Spencer spluttered as they entered and the nurse looked again at his chart with wide eyes, his cheeks a little pink himself and he ushered the two of them into his office with a smile. 
“So it is, I do apologise,” He said earnestly, holding a hand out to gesture Bugsy to sit on the reclining bed, “I hate to stereotype, but usually when dad books the appointments, its because their wives are already doing a hundred other things,” 
“It’s okay, it happens,” She said with an awkward chuckle, avoiding Spencer’s eyes because they still hadn’t had that talk. Even though she knew her mother would frown at her grandchild being born a bastard, she didn’t care much for Elizabeth’s opinion. It wasn’t like marriages had ever led to good things for her mother anyway. 
She hopped up onto the examination cot, her heart quivering just the slightest in worry because the smell of bleach and rubber made the whole thing real. Until then, having a grain of rice growing inside her seemed like a fever dream since she’d only had a handful of side effects, throwing up could have easily been passed off as bad chicken, the head aches could have just been her eyes straining from using her computer too much. 
“Okay, everything feels okay, Mom? Nothing concerning at all?” And then the midwife said things like that, mom, and the part of her that almost forgot she was pregnant came to a screeching halt. 
She’d be a mom. Someone would call her mom. The thought of it made her suck in a breath.
“Uh, no.” She cleared her throat and felt Spencer grab her hand, “Morning sickness is kicking my ass, but nothing worrying,”
The nurse chuckled, and she felt Spencer rubbing his thumb over the back of her palm, his eyes burning into the side of her head. 
“Well, if it’s alright, I need you to lift your shirt up a little so we can have a see what’s going on,” He said with a kind smile, and she realised then he’d slipped latex gloves over his hands, and brandished a bottle of gel. 
She nodded absently, doing as he said and lifting her shirt to sit under her breasts, drawing the hem of her skirt down so he had a space to apply. And the second he did she sucked in breath through her nose, the cold of the air conditioning chilling her to her marrow, and she tried telling herself that’s why her hands were shaking. 
She felt Spencer’s fingers curve through her hair, and she reminded herself to breathe, looking over at him with nervous eyes she hoped he didn’t see straight through. But judging by the way he scooted the chair forward and gave her an encouraging smile, she guessed he’d seen the flicker of doubt in an instant. 
“It’s okay, it’s going to be fine,” He murmured, his own fear buried deep somewhere she couldn’t see anymore the second she had been the one to look to him for help. She knew she wanted this, knew she’d always dreamed of Spencer and her having their happily ever after. She knew whenever she’d let herself think of a little boy with chocolate curls and hazel eyes that she wanted all of that and more. 
But it was all so… real. Like seeing a movie come to life, and she was starring centre stage. Her body wasn’t a disposable shell that held thirty plus years of stupid mistakes and regrets and tattoos she’d decided she hated now. Her body had a whole other human inside it. 
The midwife clicked the machine on, the transducer wand ready in his hand as he gently put it on her lower stomach, barely a few centimetres from her panties, and she wondered why they showed the wand roaming over the woman’s belly button on tv shows since that was entirely wrong and not nearly as embarrassing. She let out a shaky breath, and Spencer stroked her head again, forcing her to give him an unsure look, like she was trying to calm herself for his sake but couldn’t.
His eyes were anxious though he squeezed her again with a smile and she saw it immediately, like he too was trying to be brave for her. 
She had never loved him so much. 
“Apologies for the shock, I know the gel can be a little cold,” The nurse said with a grin, and it was only then she realised the screen had lit up with a black and white image, one she’d seen a thousand times when she’d studied neonatal procedures for her degree. 
She knew that was her womb lining, and that was the amniotic fluid and that right there-
Bugsy froze, and judging by the way Spencer’s hand tightened around her own, he had too. She felt her mouth drop with a laugh of shock, and she sat up slightly to take a closer look at the monitor. 
“And there is baby,” The midwife said, his expression warming as he watched Spencer’s stand up to lean over the bed, not once letting go of the woman’s hand, the two of them utterly enraptured in the screen, “Probably about the size of a raspberry,”
And Bugsy laughed, her eyes lined with tears as she looked up at Spencer’s equally wetted hues. He was grinning from ear to ear when he looked down at her, and it wasn’t long before he brought his lips to her forehead, his nose and throat burning with a held cry. 
“Do you hear that? A whole raspberry already?” She said, her voice wobbling and he giggled, sitting back in his seat and rubbing his cheeks with his sleeve. “I am good at this cooking thing, might as well call me an easy bake oven,”
Spencer shook his head with another chuckle, his eyes trailing back to the little blob on the screen that looked more like a toy alien than anything else, and held her hand between both of his like he was in prayer. 
Because Spencer never believed in anything sacred and divine until he met Bugsy.
MONTH THREE. The one where they tell everyone.
“What are you doing?” Bugsy jumped out of her skin as JJ all but materialised behind her. She looked over her shoulder guiltily, her hand still half way through pouring out her mug of coffee Derek had handed her before he left to get lunch. 
She turned to see the blonde with her own steaming mug of decaf in her hands. She’d been taking the lack of caffeine much better this time around since having a second baby to breastfeed, considering she was nothing short of evil when she’d had Henry, which had been Spencer’s words not Bugsy’s. And it wasn’t as if the woman could blame her. She was grouchy when she didn’t get her regular dose even before being pregnancy, Derek had once gotten a kick to the shin when he’d disturbed her on a day she’d been too busy to grab one on her way to the office. 
She was a fiend for the bitter god. And everyone knew it. Which was exactly why JJ’s eyebrows were all but raised into her hairline seeing the girl who would usually be in the stages of withdrawal by now tipping the drink away. 
“Uh, the milk tasted funky,” She excused, though the way JJ narrowed her eyes at the poor excuse told her it hadn’t passed by a mile. 
“Right, the milk that Hotch picked up this morning?” JJ pursed her lips, sliding her own mug onto the side and jutting her hip. 
And as if he were summoned, Hotch sidled up to the kitchenette, Rossi and Tara hot on his heels as they flicked through some paperwork, and his head shot up the minute he heard his name. 
His eyes trailed to where the girl flipped her mug upside on the drying rack, and his brow furrowed. 
“Is everything alright?” He asked, and she huffed in response, wiping her hands on her jeans. 
“Yes, I’m fine,” She grumbled, shaking her head, “I don’t know what you’re all so wound up about, it’s not like I’m dying, I just don’t feel like coffee today-”
“Oh my god,” Penelope gasped where she crept behind Hotch with her very favourite octopus mug in tow, one that was nearly thrown to the floor when she heard the words pour from the girl’s mouth, “Are you sick? Like in the body or in the head? Rossi, check her pulse, I’m going to get a thermometer-”
“Pen, I’m fine,” She said unconvincingly and she tried to skirt past the group that seemed to have her surrounded. Seeing Spencer pulling up the rear in search of lunch she felt herself sigh in relief, because he would think of a much better excuse than she ever could. 
She had barely been able to keep her mouth shut for the months they had been secretly dating, and had relished in the peace it brought her when everyone knew. But the midwife had said it was common to keep things under wraps at least until the first trimester was over. Apparently the million of questions that were sure to be heading their way would cause her unnecessary stress, though she’d argue having to sneak to the sink every morning and dispose of a delicious looking coffee was torture enough. 
“What’s up?” Spencer asked as she ducked towards him, his hand consciously wrapping around her waist, and she huffed again, looking to him with a silent plea.
“They’re profiling me,” Bugsy said, and he felt his gut knot because he should have known it wouldn’t be long before they caught on. It was their job to pick apart out of the ordinary behaviour, and Bugsy going teetotal on caffeine was definitely something of a head turner.
“I told you that diet would cause a stir,” He joked, hoping they bought his pathetic attempt of an excuse, as he gave her side a gentle squeeze, and hoped that he could lead her back to her desk like she was a lost little lamb being prowled upon by nosy wolves that rarely took no for an answer. 
And it almost worked, almost, until JJ snapped her fingers and pointed at his wandering hand. 
“See that, that is the fourth time you’ve been all touchy and weird this week,” The blonde surprised, her brows furrowing, “Bugsy hates PDA, usually by now she would have whacked you over the head and called you a perv,”
Bugsy smashed her lips together because she couldn’t exactly disagree with her. That’s exactly what she usually did. Usually would tell Spencer to stop being so horny in a place of work even if she felt her cheeks heat at the delicate grabs of her stomach fat. 
But whether it was the little bean now around the size of a small lemon that had made her mellow and affectionate, or whether the lack of caffeine really was making her feel vulnerable, she wasn’t sure. And the whole thing was only made worse by Hotch’s eyes burning into the side of her, and she felt the trail of his gaze head straight for her stomach. 
“Come to think of it, I only saw you with a lime and soda at Savannah’s birthday last week,” Rossi pointed out, wagging his finger in her direction, his brown hues widening in thought, “When Penelope asked if you wanted tequila you said-”
“I’m all tequila-ed out,” Penelope chimed in with the same frown, “But that can’t be, when have you ever been tequila-ed out, that’s like impossible, even that night we had to help Spencer get you in the shower because you’d thrown up everywhere you were demanding more,”
She felt her cheeks heat thinking about her twenty ninth birthday, or atleast the parts of it she could remember of it before the rest of the gaps were filled with black spaces of time that she guessed had been robbed from her by the shots she piled on. 
“Maybe I just didn’t feel like tequila, can a girl not live in the moment?” She tried to rebuttal, only Penelope gave her a blank look that told her to try again because the Bugsy she knew would slap her for saying something so dumb. She opened her mouth to correct her again, but Hotch beat her to it. 
“You know Hayley got really affectionate a couple months into being pregnant,” The man said, his eyes swirling with something proud and warm when he saw Bugsy’s head flick to him like she’d been caught red handed, which they had. “Though, if you ask me I think she was just a little sorry for herself that I took the coffee away,”
There was a beat of silence, and the room held its breath. Even Tara, who had only known them the best part of a few months raised her hand to her mouth in shock, and Bugsy shot a look at Spencer in utter defeat. 
“We tried,” She said with her shoulders shrugging, and it was then that the office was filled with a piercing scream that turned a fair few heads and the infamous octopus mug was thrown clear across the kitchen floor, one of his tentacles snapping clean off. 
“OH MY GOD, IT’S TRUE? YOU’RE PREGNANT?” Penelope wailed like a banshee, and Bugsy couldn’t help but break into a smile, nodding at the woman who screeched again and yanked her in for a tight hug, “Oh my god, there's going to be three of you, three geniuses, three little einsteins that I want to smush together and kiss all over-” 
“Garcia, I think she needs air if she’s going to make another little genius,” Rossi said, and the tech analyst pulled away aghast, cupping Bugsy’s face that was still grinning ear to ear with a chuckle.
“Oh my god, I didn’t hurt you did I? Or the baby- Oh my god there’s a baby in there!” 
Hotch wrapped a rare yet tender arm around Spencer’s shoulder, giving him a little pat and a “Congratulations” while Rossi smiled knowingly between the couple and JJ had her turn smothering Bugsy in a tearful hug. 
And by the time Derek had walked into the office with his everything bagel hanging between his teeth and a tea in his hands, his onyx hues fell to Penelope, JJ and Bugsy exchanging weepy words while Tara handed them tissues with her own sparkling eyes.
“What fresh hell did I miss?”
MONTH FOUR. The one where she starts looking different.
She huffed, her fingers gripping the edge of her jeans and yanking them up her thighs as far as they would go. She felt like everything had shrunk in the wash, or like she was trying on a doll’s wardrobe. Surely she hadn’t gained that much weight in just a few months, but then again she’d been all but living off chocolate pudding cups since the Bean decided it wanted sugar, sugar and more sugar. 
She grunted in annoyance, her arms and back aching where she was leaning over to pull at the infernal things. She barely had a second to pout childishly, before kind hands were wrapping around her stomach and a mouth kissed at her neck tenderly. 
“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” His voice was honey sweet, thick and goopy with love overflowing as he pulled her to his chest, his hand caressed the bump that seemed to be getting in the way of her and her favourite jeans. Spencer knew she tried to ignore the symptoms that almost every woman felt during pregnancy, he knew she compared herself to how JJ had handled both pregnancies gracefully and looked better than ever even as a mother of two. He knew she hated complaining because she didn’t want him to think she was miserable carrying their kid, but god was she getting sick of her clothes pinching her in.
“I’m getting fatter,” Bugsy grumbled, her eyes darting to the vivid lines that had deepened into the crease of her hips within a few weeks and she winced, “I’m not even halfway, how does this kid want to eat pudding all the time?” 
Spencer frowned, shaking his head slightly because he refrained from telling her what a silly statement it was, knowing it would only make her feel worse, and instead pressed delicate kisses to her jaw, squeezing her closer. He’d noticed the stretch marks, just as he’d noticed her face and hips gathering weight a bit more than usual, and was just grateful there was even more Bugsy to love. 
“You’re eating for two, you’re literally growing a whole life inside of you. I think that is more than enough grounds to eat whatever you want,” He murmured, biting the inside of his cheek when she sighed as though she didn’t believe him, “Honey, clothes are replaceable. What your body’s trying to do is create a little bubble around you and this little pudding fiend so you can feed them when they’re out here,” 
Bugsy knew he was right. She’d spent well over a hundred hours researching hormone levels and how pregnant bodies are changing all hours of the day to accommodate the foetus, she knew it was normal for things to look different. Had it been on anyone else she wouldn’t have batted an eye. But it didn’t make the sting of seeing her body morph into one she didn’t recognise any less harsh.
“I know,” She hummed somewhat defeated, turning in his arms to press her face in his neck, “I just didn’t expect it to happen so fast is all,”
Spencer smiled warmly, because every day he thought she had gotten impossibly prettier. He hadn’t believed in ‘pregnancy glow’, in fact he’d chalked it down to some sort of innate scientific survival tactic that associated a vulnerable woman with looking angelic, at least not until he’d woken up to see her stomach protruding from her pyjama top in a clear curve shape and he thought her face looked like she should be in some Monet painting, dozing in a field like a wide eyed doe. 
“I know, it’s a lot for anyone to go through. But you know I’m so grateful for you,” Spencer said, and he felt her smile without even seeing it. Her fingers wove into his hair at the nape of his neck, kissing a trail up his chest because he suspected she looked somewhat embarrassed. “Besides, I’m not complaining. It means I get to do this,” 
She felt two large hands grab at the fat of her bum cheeks and she squeaked in surprise, even though she heard him laugh in her ear at her reaction. That had been another thing she’d noticed, and how could she not. Penelope said just the other day that she was ‘baking a bun in the oven and cake in the trunk’ with a little wink, and she’d had to excuse herself quickly for lack of a response. 
And Spencer wasn’t lying. He wasn’t complaining with any of it, not by a long shot. 
MONTH FIVE.  The one with the mood swings.
“So you guys really don’t want to know the sex?” JJ asked, sipping on her tea as she chatted with Bugsy who was balancing biscuits on top of her now protruding stomach. It was as if overnight the baby had stretched out enough to make themselves a damn penthouse suite in Bugsy’s tummy. 
“We want it to be a surprise, either way we’re going to love the little bean, even if they do keep kicking my bladder at four am,” She said, balancing the tenth cookie on the tower she’d made, reaching over carefully for another one, “I swear if the bean kicks my cookie tower I’m giving them a hideous name,”
“It’s good to feel the baby kicking at this stage, it helps develop their joints and bones so they’re stronger when they’re born.” Spencer inputted helpfully as he slid a fresh mug of decaf tea over to her desk.
“Next time the baby kicks your uterus walls, Spence, gimme a shout and we’ll discuss how great it is,” Bugsy said with a small smile and he paused, looking at JJ as if he was caught in a trap, suddenly well aware of his mistake. 
“Point taken,” He conceded quietly, and JJ chuckled because she’d seen Will just as hesitant to piss her off in both of her pregnancies. And she knew Bugsy would never hold it against him, that Spencer’s head just ran away from him sometimes. 
She halted her little game and carefully leaned over to draw the mug to her lips, too impatient to wait for it to cool down fully and she barely spotted Derek swooping around the corner of the desk.
“Good morning, Mommies and Daddy Genius,” He greeted in that chirpy tone, his hand snatching up the top cookie and scarfing it down before she could protest. 
Bugsy shared her snacks all the time, it was a no brainer that they took a bite here and there out of each other's goodies before they could get a smack to the wrist. And Derek had certainly noticed a few of his Rolos missing the last time he bought a pack, and a particularly cheerful Bugsy smirking at him over her desk. 
It wasn’t a huge deal, and yet Bugsy sat up in a gasp, and the entire biscuit tower fell to a crumbling mess on the floor. 
“Well done, princess, Hotch is going to-” Derek stopped mid sentence when he saw her sniffle, and his eyes widened at the sight of her eyes glistening with tears, “Bugsy- are you okay-”
“My cookies! Derek!” She whined pitifully, and she buried her face in her hands, “My cookies, I was so going to eat the shit out of those, they were gonna be so good, Derek,” 
Morgan looked gobsmacked, his head whipping between the woman leaning against the desk with an understanding smile and Spencer who was already rubbing her shoulders with his lips smashed together, trying not to laugh. 
“Honey, it’s okay, he didn’t mean to,” Her partner tried to coo, though he couldn’t help but feel sorry for the way Derek scrambled to draw out his wallet. 
“I’ll get you more, Bug, I swear, they sell them by the deli down the street, right?” He asked, jittering in his bones because he’d never made her cry before. He worried or a moment Hotch might just put him on sabbatical leave for such an offense. Emily would probably fly to Virginia just to cave his skull in, “I’m sorry, I’ll go get more, I’ll even get you strawberry milk-”
“Chocolate milk,” She wailed, and JJ slid a box of tissues over to the pitiful girl with a silent snicker. She remembered all too well the feeling of unexplained emotion crashing over her, and she didn’t doubt that the tough faced Bugsy would be back to normal any moment soon.
“Chocolate milk, got it,” Derek said, with a nod, and he all but darted for the elevators, in a hurry Spencer somewhat suspected was down to the fact he feared for his life if Penelope got a whiff of what happened.
Bugsy sniffled for a moment, drawing a tissue out the box and dabbing her eyes sullenly, her feelings slightly worse for wear even if she had a small inkling of doubt that she was really so torn up about the cookies as her body made it seem. 
But she had been thinking about them all morning; made herself promise she would only eat them once she got the stack fifteen high at least. 
“Are you okay, baby?” Spencer asked, his gaze empathetic as she snuffled her sobs into the palm of her hands. He wasn’t too worried, even if he hated seeing her cry just as much as anyone else did. And it wasn’t that he didn’t take her seriously. But when she’d been crying just that morning because her shower gel spilled on the floor and tipped almost all the way out, or even when she’d stepped on a snail walking into the building and smushed it into the ground, effectively killing it, he seemed to be getting used to her mood swings. 
She sniffed woefully, “I was really looking forward to those, and now I think I was too mean to Derek and…” Her eyes glistened with fresh tears, and the sight of it made Spencer sigh, leaning forward to kiss the side of her head because it must be difficult being so out of your usual self for nine months. 
“And what?” He prompted softly. Only she burst out crying again, reaching forward to drag him into a hug that told him she was feeling extra sorry for herself.
He wouldn’t blame her. Would sit through every weep and sob and tantrum if it meant he got to show her even more times over that he loved her endlessly. 
However he did have to hold in the giggle when she wailed; “I think I really do want strawberry milk,” 
MONTH SIX. The one with the false labour. 
She had been in Hotch’s office when she felt it. 
Embarrassingly so, her first thought was trapped gas. She’d gotten a lot of that considering the baby had decided it craved spice, and had been planning to excuse herself when it felt like her whole abdomen seized as if she’d been hit with a particularly nasty period cramp. 
Her hand flew to her stomach where she sat with Hotch reviewing her latest reports, the same quarterly check the whole team was mandated to have with their boss since Cruz became section chief. Hotch didn’t miss a beat, the folder in his hand hitting the desk in an instant as he tensed, looking at her with caution. 
“Are you alright?” He asked, and she held her breath for a moment. Spencer was out with Rossi giving a lecture in Washington DC, JJ had the day off for her mom’s birthday, Penelope and Morgan were taking Tara to lunch to show her a few more of their regular spots. It was just them and Anderson in the office for the next few hours, possibly the worst time out of any to have an empty floor. 
“Yeah- I just, woah,” Her stomach gave another lurch of a painful twist and her hand slapped on the table to keep herself steady. She breathed through the pain, because she’d had much worse only that wasn’t what was making her heart race. It was fear. Because she wasn’t due for another twelve weeks at least, and while she’d heard of baby’s being born as premature as six months, she knew premy babies suffered major complications later on, let alone the stress their body goes under during the actual birth. 
Bean, as the team had affectionately named the baby since the couple had firmly decided they didn’t want to know the sex, was about the size of red cabbage, tiny in the scheme of things even though it felt like just a few minutes ago they were a grain of rice. 
“Okay, it’s okay, stay calm,” Hotch said in a smooth voice, gentle yet reassuring as he rounded his desk in a flash and put his hand on her shoulder, “Do you feel like you need to use the toilet? Any back ache or irritability?” 
Bugsy breathed out through her nose as her lungs jittered with nerves, “N-no, I don’t need the bathroom, why would that matter?” 
Aaron stroked a large kind hand down her spine, watching her face scrunch in pain for a second time, and he slowly began directing her towards the door, taking small steps so she wasn’t rushing. “Needing to use the bathroom is an early sign of labour, it’s your body's way of helping expand your pelvis to accommodate the head. Any back ache or frustration at all?” 
He didn’t care that he’d had to repeat himself, not even when he was usually so against it, because he could feel the own unease rising in his throat like bile even if he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible. 
He would be damned if he let her see how worried he was, and so he swallowed heavily, holding his other hand out for her to take when they approached the stairs. Anderson was on his feet in seconds when he saw his unit chief leading the woman with a tightly concealed frown, fumbling around for his phone. 
“Agent Prentiss?” He exclaimed, darting around the mess of chairs and paper and desks to approach them, “Would you like me to call Dr Reid? An ambulance, perhaps?” 
“She's alright, I’m driving her to the ER, thank you Anderson,” Aaron responded politely, his hand still resting on her back, and the agent nodded, digging around for his keys. 
“I can drive, if you’d like to ride in the back with her,” Grant offered with worried eyes as Bugsy’s face crumpled in agony again, and Hotch’s head whipped to her, and his composure crumbled for a moment. 
“Bugsy, hey, it’s okay, we’re gonna be okay, honey,” He cooed, and Anderson was quick to open the glass doors, “Did you pack a bag at all-”
“No, Spencer told me I should but I said it was too early, why is that man always right,” She grumbled, her footsteps weary and jittery as the three of them got into the elevator. 
Hotch fought a smile, trying to remember everything he’d memorised before Hailey had Jack. The 5-1-1 rule blared through his head, and he glanced at his watch for a fraction of a second, and he wondered for a moment if he was going to have to write off a company vehicle for the fact his youngest agent gave birth in the back seat. 
“I’m afraid that’s just how Reid operates,” Hotch said, pulling his phone out to dial the man in question and let him know where they were headed, “It’s probably nothing, Hailey was getting cramps all the time once she reached her third trimester, but we’ll get you checked out to be safe,” 
“Really?” She looked at him with pitiful eyes and he nodded with a tight smile, committing to his illusion of calmness even if he swore he hadn’t felt so scared in months. 
Because it wasn’t just Bugsy anymore, it was Bugsy and her baby. Her and Reid’s baby. The two people who deserved their happy ending more so than anyone else he knew. 
And he felt her hand slip into his then as she accepted his answer, in fact she didn’t let go the entire time she waited on Spencer and Aaron was in no rush to leave her side. Even when she lay back on the table and had the midwife checking everything over, he stayed by her head (no doubt to avoid a very awkward conversation), stroked her hair when she fretted through a few more cramps, even when Spencer burst in through the door with Morgan at his heels looking like the two of them had just ran a marathon.
“Is everything okay- what’s wrong- do you need fluids- do you need ice-” Spencer rushed on his odd breath, his chest puffing with inhales, and he pretended he wasn’t seeing stars floating across his vision. 
“I’m assuming by your reaction you’re dad,” The nurse said, pulling off the blue gloves and dropping her mask from her mouth.
“Yes, he is, he’s dad,” Morgan filled in for him as Spencer all but fell back against the wall, because he really should have drank something other than soda and coffee this morning. He was close to swaying on his feet when he stepped over to his girlfriend, and she took his hand in the her own, or atleast the one that wasn’t occupied by Hotch’s tight hold. 
“Don’t worry, everything is alright with mom and baby,” She said, noting down a few things on her chart and the four of them took an audible sigh of relief, “Braxton Hicks contractions are very common in your final trimester, it probably felt like a lot because your baby is moving to into the anterior position ready for birth,” 
Bugsy’s head flopped back against the pillow in comfort and she forced herself to take a few deep breaths, willing her heart rate to go back to normal. Braxton Hicks, she should have known. Her head had been fuzzy the past few weeks as it was, but she supposed the moment she’d thought there might be something wrong with the Bean, all of her logic had flown out the window. 
But at least she’d had Hotch to keep her level headed, and-
“Oh my god, Anderson,” She jolted up, her legs stuck in the stirrups the midwife had place her into while she examined everything, “We need to tell Anderson, the poor guy was so worried,”
Hotch chose not to tell her he’d seen Anderson go as white as a ghost the second she’d turned her back, and instead patted her leg as Spencer went to speak to the midwife a little more, no doubt picking apart every single symptom she’d presented in that huge, worried head of his. 
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Anderson is fine, honey,” He said earnestly, and she looked at him like a kicked puppy, entirely sorry for the panic she’d caused, “Let’s just get you your underwear back, huh?”
MONTH SEVEN. The one where they decorate the nursery.
“What about Elias,” 
“Veto,”
Bugsy pulled a shunned expression as she carefully rolled the wallpaper up the wall. 
“Mason? Niko, stop,” She proposed, one hand on the wall while using the other to push the nosey feline away from the wet paste she’d been brushing on the wall. 
He sat politely at her chide, blinking at her with those big eyes as he watched her work with a twitching tail, almost entertained at the woman who had ballooned up in just a few weeks struggling to do a relatively easy task. 
“Hmm, Mason can go on the bench,” Spencer responded where he was sitting at the other end of the wall doing the same thing only much faster, though she’d argue it was a little easier since he wasn't carrying a large coconut strapped to his stomach.
They’d left the apartment just two weeks ago. Derek had been the one to help them cart their small amount of furniture into the modest house on the outskirts of West Springfield. It was large by Spencer’s standards, even if Bugsy had seen what grandeur looked like in her own childhood homes, but it didn’t matter. Because walls and floors and fancy grand pianos had never bought her love. Yet the first evening they’d spent in their new home they had slept on a mattress on the floor, the list of things to do the following day rattling around their heads. But they had a home. They had the picket fence with the nice school down the road and the bus stop within eyesight of the kitchen where their kid would one day walk to their door with a book bag and glasses like Spencer’s. 
She had never felt like she belonged somewhere until she had a home with him. 
“What about Ada for a girl?” Spencer called over his shoulder, where he had almost caught up to where she was still working on the small patch of wall. The paper was proving frustrating for her swollen fingers, considering the entire thing, when put together, made up a mural of little woodland creatures amidst a forest and left zero room for error, “Named after Ada Lovelace, the woman who pioneered computers,”
Considering it for a moment, she nodded, “That’s pretty. Ada makes top ten,” 
Flipping the last part up to stick against the thick glue, she ran her hands over the seams to be sure it aligned perfectly with the rest of the picture. Satisfied when it matched and a little fox stared down at her, she smiled, tilting her head up where Spencer was standing over her, watching her concentrate. 
“All done!” She chirped, and he bent down to give her a kiss to her puckered lips, sliding a hand beneath her arm to help her up. 
“Looks perfect, you’re really carrying the team honey,” He mused as she got to her feet with a little whine, wrapping her arms around his middle in a proud hug. 
“I know, what would you ever do without me?” 
He laughed, looking at her with an adoring gaze.
The light cracked through the open window, laying over her face delicately. The house was still bare, still in need of carpets and a good dusting, still had leaky pipes and ants in the pantry. Yes, they had a pantry now. But it was a start. It was a home. 
“I say we leave the cradle for another day, baby is calling for frozen grapes again,” She said, rubbing a hand over her protruding belly button and he smiled. Spencer could have sworn he was the luckiest guy in the world when he called her his friend. He thought maybe he should have bought a lottery ticket the same day she told him she loved him. The day she became his girlfriend he thinks he may have died and the past three years have been purely a dream. 
But watching the breeze kiss her cheeks and stroke her hair, watching her eyes rove over the room that would keep their baby safe and warm in just a few weeks, even seeing her smile at him like he had handed her the whole universe in a box when she was the one growing a whole human inside her; Spencer felt like his life was so much better than he ever hoped it would be. 
“Frozen grapes, coming right up,” He said, slipping his fingers in between his to help her down the winding staircase which had been a winner for her immediately. It’s like we have a castle, Spence. “You or the baby could ask for a whole damn ox and I’d give it to you.”
She laughed, holding onto the bannister as they headed downstairs to the kitchen that was in dire need of fresh paint. 
“What if I said baby wants a holiday to Cancun and another cat,” 
“I’d say baby is onto something there,” Spencer said, sweeping her from the final step and giving her a wet kiss to her head, “But first, grapes.”
MONTH EIGHT. The one where she gets cranky.
“Oh my god,” She groaned as she threw herself into her wheely chair, her button up shirt barely accommodating her stomach that was well and truly ready to pop.  
Derek Morgan loved her, he truly loved her like she was one of his sisters, dare say he had loved her since that day he’d carried her out of the church she was held hostage in by Cyrus. He had seen her at her rock bottom, had seen her graduate with flying colours, had even put his job on the line for her; covered her back from a stupid mistake at a bar when she popped a little molly on government pay. 
Derek loved her. He did. But the moment he saw her slump into her chair, her face scrunched up in frustration, he was collecting his mug of coffee and all but bolting for the door and heading straight for Penelope’s lair. 
“Back pain again?” JJ asked, flitting past a very frantic Morgan and heading towards Rossi’s office with a stack of papers in her arms. Bugsy let out something close to a growl in return, and JJ took it as a yes.
“I swear I have been pregnant for years,” She huffed, barely reaching over to where her keyboard sat at her desk. Tara nudged it forward for her to grab, because it seemed like she was on her breaking point enough as it was, and received a brief nod of thanks “I can’t remember a time when my back didn’t hurt, or my boobs were aching or my head wasn’t all fuzzy and weird and- OH for the love of god SWITCH ON YOU PIECE OF SHIT,” 
JJ’s brows raised as the keyboard mouse went flying off the side of her desk in protest, rolling straight past where Hotch and Spencer were strolling through the office, her boyfriend carrying the biggest Strawberry Milkshake he could find on this side of town. 
If Hotch wanted to say anything about her damaging property, he thought it smarter to keep his mouth shut as she swivelled to face the two of them, her expression already irritated by the worried stare they shot her way. 
“What?” She said with a bite, and Spencer raised his hands in surrender, which left her gaze to slide to Hotch. 
And Hotch loved her too, loved her more than he would ever admit. But he swore he the second her eyes clamped on his, Aaron Hotchner considered an exorcism might be necessary. 
“What, what are you staring at me for?” She snapped, throwing her hands out like a bratty teenager, and Hotch cleared his throat before he spoke, something embarrassingly close to fear shaking his vocal chords.
“Have you given any more thought to maternity leave, yet?” He asked and her eye twitched, and it was as if he saw the stapler was next on her list of things to send flying off the table, preferably straight at his head. “I would be more than happy to pull some strings so you take longer off after the baby is born, maybe even Spencer could start his paternity early-”
“What?” She said for a third time, like she was a broken record. And she knew she was being unfair, perhaps even cruelly so. But she would make it up to them later, when she was in a better frame of mind. Her underwear rode up and pinched where her uterus had begun to drop, her trousers itched for whatever reason, her face was hot from just walking from the elevator to her chair and that was just since she’d entered the office. She hadn’t got much energy for showers anymore and so washing her hair became some ugly affair where Spencer got in with her and did it for her, only last time he put a little too much product on and got the suds in her eyes and they had spent twenty minutes rinsing her face, naked and dripping wet, over the sink. She felt awful, awful for how she was being so irrationally rude, but it was like every inch of her being was uncomfortable. And there was still another month to go.
“Good god, man, don’t poke the bear,” Tara hummed as she passed, taking her own half full mug to the kitchen to escape whatever was rumbling in that hot head of hers. 
Hotch swallowed heavily, noticing how Spencer stayed deadly quiet no doubt because he’d learned his lesson in trying to force Bugsy into doing something when she was like this, “I’m saying I think it would be good for you to take some time off, you’ve both worked hard enough as it is and with the baby being so close, it would be good to take it easy for a few weeks-” 
She pressed her lips together, because she knew he was probably trying to help, probably trying to be considerate, and yet the heat of annoyance bubbled up inside her all the same like a kettle on the precipice of boiling.
“If you want the big scary pregnant lady out of your way just spit it out, Hotch,” She snapped, scowling at him in a way he remembered Hailey doing when he so much as sneezed too loud.
And he couldn’t find it in him to be mad at her. Because anyone with eyes saw she was uncomfortable, he knew if she was anything like his own ex-wife then she wouldn’t be sleeping nearly as much as she should, that more than likely their kid would be already kicking with long, scrawny legs to get out and show the world what they were made of. 
Hotch was saved from the firing line when his guess was proved almost immediately, and she groaned with a hand to her abdomen. 
“Spencer, would you tell your kid they’re not a linebacker and that my kidneys aren’t the damn ball,” She complained, and her partner flashed her a brave smile, leaning over her to rub where she was caressing her battered organs. 
“Actually, right about here will be your spleen since the baby has pushed everything around at this stage-” And with that Hotch darted towards his office because Bugsy looked ready to clip someone around the ear, and he didn’t have the heart to write her up for it.
Although for the sanctity of his team, he rushed her documents through the same afternoon and gave her an extra four weeks pay in lieu of a truce. 
MONTH NINE. The one with the birth.
It had been fourteen hours already when the doctor mentioned the word caesarean. 
“Caesarean? We never planned for a C-section,” Bugsy’s eyes widened where she was intermittently sucking down gas and air, Spencer patting her forehead down with an ice wet cloth. 
But then again she supposed she had never planned to go into labour when getting the laundry off the washing line while Spence painted the porch. 
He looked at her with nervous hazel hues where her face sparkled with sweat and water, her hand squeezing him tightly as another contraction hit. 
“I’m afraid we have few options left, Miss Prentiss,” The midwife said, a woman around her age that was already masked up after prodding around her cervix for a few hours, “Fourteen hours is rough on anyone and we’re not seeing any movement past your pelvis. Any longer and you or your baby might be at risk,”
And it was the truth, but it was a harsh one, and tears sprung to her eyes hearing those last few words. She had never had any delusions it would be easy giving birth, it was revered as the most painful thing anyone could go through, but she had assumed on a hope and a prayer that things would go smoothly. 
“I know it’s scary,” Spencer found his voice after a second, their hands clasped tightly together because there was more chance of snow in hell than there was he was letting her do this alone, “But, baby, you’re doing so well, and you’re almost there,” He said in a watery sweet tone, dabbing at her brow once more and the two of them exchanged a teary look, “It’s going to be okay, you’re going to be okay, they’re going to numb you for the whole thing and when it’s over we’re going to have our baby, huh?” 
She smiled ruefully because he was trying desperately to cheer her up, even though it sounded like he was reassuring himself just as much as he was her.
And she nodded, because she knew he was right, and more than anything she wanted their baby to be safe, even if it meant having her insides scooped out like she was some russian nesting doll. 
“O-okay, yeah, c-can Spencer stay with me?” She asked nervously, and the midwife smiled, pressing a button to call for the anesthesiologist.
“Ofcourse, honey. Just try to relax, we’re going to arrange an epidural for you,” She said in a voice that told Bugsy she’d practised staying calm in an emergency a thousand times. 
Bugsy breathed through her nose, feeling Spencer swoop in to wipe the lone few tears dribbling down her cheeks. 
“It’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna be okay,” He said, his voice bustling with nerves and she wanted to tell him the same, wanted to tell him she loved him more than ever for trying to put a brave face on for her sake. But she couldn’t, so she nodded frantically, leaning her forehead against his cheek and taking a few more deep breaths. 
“You’re doing great, honey, you’re being so brave,” Spencer reassured in his biggest voice, his hand carding over the side of her hot face gently. There was blood, there was so much blood, and the sound of her monitor was the only sound that was constant and not at all worrying with its steady heart beat. 
The midwives were flitting around the room, the lead obstetrician making careful incisions and handing various things Spencer didn’t want to see over to his co-workers. Because he loved their baby already, couldn’t wait to meet the mini him he’d been dreaming about since he was a boy himself, but Bugsy needed him first. She was his everything, his whole life, his whole universe fading between clear consciousness and a slightly loopy gaze as she relaxed on the table. 
“Is it over? Are they here, are they okay?” She slurred, looking over at him where his hair was covered in a blue scrub cap, his entire body wrapped in protective uniform to minimise the risk of infection on her body. 
He cradled her face again, shaking his head, “Not yet honey, you’re doing so good, it’s nearly over,” Spencer said, pressing his brow against hers because he had a mask over his mouth and couldn’t kiss her properly, “I love you so much, I swear I’ll try every day of my life to repay you,” 
“You’re being mushy, you’re freaking me out,” She joked as if she was her regular self, because the midwives had all warned him that the sedatives would take the edge off her nerves. And he chuckled, even if he was worrying enough for the two of them, sniffling behind the stuffy mask he had to keep on until she was in recovery. 
“I’m sorry, baby, I just want you to be okay,” Spencer said earnestly, and he pressed a kiss to her head anyway even if she wouldn’t feel it with his mask, “I’m gonna get you so many milkshakes when this is-”
There was a wail behind the curtain they had draped over her stomach, and both their breaths stopped in their chests. 
“Is that…” Bugsy started, her eyes wide and alert even if seconds ago she had been almost drunk, “Is that it- is that them?”
And another scream resounded around the room as if to answer her. 
Spencer swore he had never felt tears well in his eyes so fast until one of the midwives brought a wriggling, wrinkly bundle around the curtain, and within seconds he felt his cheeks sodden with tears. 
“Oh my god,” He said his smile reaching his eyes as the little creature was put on Bugsy’s chest, and it was only then he realised she was weeping too and he resumed his position stroking her head, “It’s a-”
“It’s a girl! Spencer, we have a girl!” Bugsy’s grin went from ear to ear, her eyes round and adoring at the ugly, scrunched face still screaming at them, her eyes closed and her skin covered in a white goop, “Oh my god, she’s so beautiful,” 
“I told you she’d take after you,” Spencer said, not minding the nurses sewing Bugsy up as they stared at their little girl, Bugsy’s arms holding her body weight delicately though she didn’t quite know what she was doing. 
Spencer was quick to remove the mask once they cleared him to, and the second he was freed he pushed his lips to his girlfriend’s, their mouths equally as salty and sodden as one another with the way their cheeks washed with tears. Pulling away, he looked at her in the eyes, the same eyes he’d always loved, the same eyes he’d know in any life, in any world, in any fog, and their smiles were damn near blinding. 
“I love you so much, I swear I’m going to make it up to you, anything you want,” Spencer said, kissing her again, his hand resting over hers where she held their baby girl on her bare chest. 
She didn’t have the heart to tell him she already had everything she’d ever wanted right there with her. 
“I love you so much more, Spencer,” She said quietly, the two of them pulling away when the little girl squealed again and they chuckled, quickly rushing to calm her cries as they looked at her as if they had yet to realise she was real and she was theirs, “Oh my god Spencer, you’re a daddy,”
“Bugsy, you’re a mommy,” He said with raised brows and she gasped, giggling with glee as her free hand flew to grab his face and pull him in to kiss her again, “We’re a mommy and daddy,” 
The two of them burst out laughing even though overjoyed tears lined their eyes again, and Spencer trailed a large finger down her chubby cheek softly, her skin shrivelled and pruney like she’d been submerged in a bath for too long. 
“Spencer, she’s perfect,” She said after a moment, her breath completely stolen when she took her in, the small head completely covered in dark hair, which she had already suspected would be there from the amount of times she found herself itching at her stomach. Her tiny fists waved in the air as her sobs subsided, beginning to warm up to the skin on Bugsy’s chest, and Spencer audibly choked in a cry of his own when her eyelids slowly blinked open and revealed forest hues damn near identical to his own. He pushed his temple to Bugsy’s again as she carefully swayed her from side to side.
“I’m never going to let anything hurt you,” He murmured, his breath warm on her collarbone and his baby girl stared back at him like she understood, even though he knew that was pretty much  impossible, “Either of you,” 
Bugsy sniffled with a wobbly smile, her hands shaking as she held her daughter up, “Do you want to hold her?” 
Spencer looked ready to wail all over again, not that she would ever hold it against him. The two of them had been weeping all day, and their kid was a real tear jerker to look at with her thick lashes and wide eyes. 
He was quick to pop open his shirt, holding his hands out nervously as she placed the baby in his arms, his fingers supporting under her head the whole time he brought her to his chest. 
Bugsy smiled, the midwife checking in with her for a moment before they were ready to wheel her into the other room to rest up, while Spencer looked entirely enamoured with the little bundle in his arms. 
He was a dad. He had made this beautiful, perfect little girl with the woman he loved more than anything in the world, and somehow she had given him even more reasons to feel so lucky. 
“Hello, you,” He said through bleary eyes, smiling through a chuckle when he saw just how tiny she looked in his arms, and he had never seen anything look so fragile, “I’m going to try be the best dad you could ever have, okay? I’m gonna be there for all the lame parties, and the sleepovers and the big games and every single time you need help on your homework, I’m gonna be right there with you.” 
“What name are we putting on the chart?” The midwife asked as Bugsy watched Spencer murmur to the sweet face that looked up at him in wonder, “Or is it just Baby Girl Prentiss for the moment?” 
“It’s Reid,” Bugsy said with a smile, as Spencer poured even more of his gentle heart out in promises she knew he would keep until the day he died. And she knew without checking with him the name they chose weeks ago was perfect; the one they’d decided on just a few days after the nursery was finished and she had yet another bowl of frozen grapes to chow down on while they admired their work. 
One for his mother, one for Emily. 
“Ana Emilia Reid,”
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ceilidhtransing · 5 months ago
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Having spent pretty much the entire year immersed in studying Nazi Germany, the Holocaust, and genocide more broadly, my heart is bursting with the need to stress how much you should take Project 2025 seriously. This is a long post but please stick with me.
Don't take this post as an attempt to concretely predict anything. We can't ever fully know the future and I think it's silly to say with total certainty “if Trump wins then America will become just like Nazi Germany” - not only because the future isn't written yet, but also because Germany under the Nazis was a very specific regime with its own quirks and peculiarities and I don't think that even a worst-case-scenario Trump regime would look exactly like Hitler's Germany. No two regimes ever look exactly alike: it would use the same colour palette as all far-right dictatorships but be constructed from a different medium, like what a watercolour is to an oil painting.
But just because Trump is a very different person from Hitler, and a worst-case-scenario Trump dictatorship would not literally be “Nazi Germany all over again”, that doesn't mean that what happened in Germany isn't instructive here. Forget the specifics of whether or not Trump as a dictator would organise a state identically to how the Nazis organised Germany or whatever; on a far broader and more relevant level, there is a distressing number of similarities. And too many people are falling into the same thought traps as they did then.
Please don't assume that Trump is “way too incompetent” to achieve what's in Project 2025 or Agenda 47. They said the same thing about Hitler. They said that there was no way this showman could govern effectively - holding big rallies and making speeches that get people riled up isn't the same as being good at running a functioning state and achieving what you want. The New York Times even wrote after he became Chancellor of Germany that this would only “let him expose to the German public his own futility”. And in many ways Hitler was pretty incompetent. But that didn't end up mattering. The greatest crime of the Nazi regime, the Holocaust, was masterminded mostly by a whole load of people besides Hitler, who were delegated the nitty-gritty task of actually orchestrating it. Hitler's personal incompetence didn't prevent war or genocide.
Please don't assume that Trump is “just a wacky nutcase” who “can't possibly be a real risk”. They said the same thing about Hitler. The mainstream media gave constant coverage to all the crazy extreme things Hitler said as if he was merely a bit of a joke and not a massive threat. The Nazis were quite happy with this. To quote Goebbels repeatedly in his diary, “The main thing is they're talking about us.”
Please don't assume that being in power will “moderate” Trump and that “of course he won't be able to do all the crazy stuff once he actually has to govern”. They said the same thing about Hitler. It was a common sentiment in the early 1930s that all the sensible politicians around him would force him to moderate his stances. Fritz von Papen, the last Chancellor of Weimar Germany, persuaded President Hindenburg to make Hitler the Chancellor by assuring him, “In a few months, we will have pushed [Hitler] so far into the corner that he will squeak.” It turns out that power doesn't “moderate” people who are openly talking about a dictatorship.
Please don't assume that there's any truth to the whole “Trump has nothing to do with Project 2025 and trying to link it to him is just liberal hysteria” line. They said the same thing about Hitler. People repeatedly asserted that Nazi street violence wasn't really representative of the party leadership; it wasn't representative of Hitler. He was even subpoenaed by a very brave lawyer in 1931 in a bid to prove that recent violence by Nazi stormtroopers was committed with the knowledge and encouragement of the party leadership, with part of the prosecution's argument hanging on a pamphlet by Goebbels that promised a violent overthrow of the state if the Nazis couldn't come to power legitimately. Surely no legal political party could be publishing that. In a successful attempt to escape criminal charges, Hitler repeatedly lied that the pamphlet was not official Nazi Party material and that he didn't know anything about it. No Trump didn't write it, no it isn't an official GOP manifesto, but the links between Project 2025 and Trump, the previous Trump administration, and Trump allies are extremely well documented. Just the other day, Project 2025 co-author Russell Vought was caught calling Trump's disavowals of the document “graduate-level politics” and saying, “what he's doing is just very, very conscious distancing himself from a brand ... he's in fact not even opposing himself to a particular policy.”
Please don't assume that “there's no way something like that could happen here; we're way too educated and advanced”. They said the same thing about Hitler. The Germany of the 1920s and 1930s was one of the most educated and most scientifically and industrially advanced nations in the world, and its cities were some of the most progressive in the world. People were stunned and horrified that it was in Germany of all places - Germany, land of music and art and science and literature! - that fascism took root. Germany's economic and social advancement didn't stop about 40% of its voters choosing the Nazis. It didn't stop them taking power.
Please don't assume that Project 2025 is “just a wishlist” and “not actually a serious plan”. They said the same thing about Hitler. As is hopefully very clear by now, plenty of people did not think that the Nazis were capable of, or would dare to try, putting into actual practice the horrific ideas about race that undergirded so much of their ideology. “I like Hitler; he talks sense economically and I think all this stuff about Jews is just bluff and bluster.” “Every party has a loony wing, right? You have to understand they're not serious when they talk about this stuff; they're just telling their base what they want to hear.” “God have you heard this crazy race science shit about head shapes and stuff? It's hilarious! I'm sure none of them at the top really believe that; there's no way they'd be that nuts.” When a group of people like this tells you what they believe and tells you what they want to do with power, believe them. No matter how ridiculous they seem, they're not joking.
In the words of Hans Litten, the lawyer who subpoenaed and cross-examined Hitler in that court case in 1931, “Don't listen to him; he's telling the truth.” Litten was arrested on the night of the Reichstag fire in 1933 and spent the rest of his life being tortured in concentration camps before dying in Dachau in 1938 at the age of 34.
A tyrannical dictatorship can often be seen coming a mile away. I don't want to imply for a second that what the Nazis did came as a surprise to everyone and couldn't possibly have been predicted. There were people who saw this coming in the 1920s and 1930s and tried to sound the alarm while they still had a chance. But they were too often in the minority, taking the threat seriously while others had convinced themselves that there was no need for concern because the Nazis wouldn't really do all the things they repeatedly talked about wanting to do. Everyone should have seen this coming, but too many people wanted to believe it couldn't be true.
Don't let this scare you. Let it energise you. Talk to the people in your life about Project 2025 and Agenda 47. Push back against people who assert that “they'd never actually do all that stuff” or “Trump didn't even write Project 2025” or “it's not a real plan, just a list of crazy shit to get the base riled up”. Have conversations with folks you know who are on the fence about voting or about who to vote for and who seem persuadable. Make sure you're registered to vote, and keep making sure, especially if you live in a red state where people keep mysteriously dropping off voter rolls.
Now, again, please don't read this as some confident prediction that Trump will be a Hitler figure. I want to stress that is a worst-case scenario. If a Trump presidency is what happens, I would much prefer the best-case scenario: that he spends four years fumbling around and not really accomplishing anything and then gives up power at the end without much of a fight. But it would also be a folly to be smugly overconfident that the worst-case scenario “won't” or “can't” happen. It could. It has happened before. There is no reason it couldn't happen again.
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randomshyperson · 1 year ago
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Sanctify - Cult Leader!Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Kinktober #06
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Summary: After your worst semester at NYU, your Aunt Agatha convinces you to join the Children of Chaos as an alternative, and very expensive form of therapy. Leaving the cult becomes a very difficult task when you develop an unexpected affection for their leader.
Warnings: (+18), dom!wanda and brat!reader, rough smut, face-fucking, power dynamics, brat taming (ish), praising, lots of tension and teasing, definitely blasphemous on some levels, a lot of plot, mentions of past toxic relationship, unspecified age gap.  | Words: 7.900k
A/N-> I’ve been dying to write something about Cult Leader Wanda since I watched the second season of Yellowjackets and became obsessed with Lottie Matthews, so while writing this, I was picturing Lottie’s cult to be fair. I also like how I ended this, as it makes it possible to turn it into a series. Good reading!
General Masterlist | Kinktober Collection | AO3 | Wattpad
-&-
Although the movement of the car brought a gentle breeze through the window, the weather was hot enough to actually make thinking painful.  In an attempt to relieve the temperature a little, and perhaps escape Aunt Aggie's provocative reminiscences about the long journey and the events that made this trip necessary in the first place, you put your arm on the door, and propped your chin up, your face on the safety edge outside the window.
New York had been out of sight for hours and had given way to countless trees and a plantation further and further away. You figured it wouldn't take long for the radio signal to stop working, but to your pleasant surprise, the soft melody of cassette tapes hidden in the glove compartment by Nicholas were picked up once that happened.
Your cousin had grown up over the summer - His still youthful appearance now featured neatly cut curly hair and reading glasses that he often hung on the collar of his shirt. When younger, it was common to hear how much he resembled Sir. Scratch, his scumbag father in the words of Agatha and the other adults, not yours - but over time, he looked much more like his mother.
Nick met your gaze through the rearview mirror and gave you an assuring smile. You didn't reciprocate, but not because you were upset. Just because you were distracted by the huge sign coming around the next corner. 
"Oh, boy, I've missed this place." Agatha commented with a nostalgic sigh, as soon as she noticed the entrance plaque. She slowed down enough that the wind wasn't enough anymore, so you returned to your original position with a low snort.
"There's still time to turn around." You muttered, getting a warning look from the older woman.
She leaned over, without answering you, to grab something from the open glove compartment. You pushed your hair back as a pamphlet was dropped into your lap.
"I know you hated the idea, but you need to trust your elders for once in your life, darling." Agatha began, as you grimaced at the crumpled paper. The title Children of Chaos was painted in red, but it was faded in several places. "The 70s were the apex for this place, I had a lot of fun here. It's such a unique experience, connecting with nature and the chaos that is part of us all."
Nick chuckled through his nose. "Mom, don't start your witch thing again, you'll scare her." Mocked your cousin from the passenger seat, but Agatha waved him off.
"She'll thank me when she gets there, I'm sure." 
But you didn't do that. When the car finally came to a stop, and what looked more like a fancy farm merged with the forest took over your vision, all you did was crumple the Immersive Community pamphlet into your pocket and throw your old backpack over your shoulder.
Aunt Aggie and your cousin hugged you tightly, saying they were going to write, but they couldn't get past the reception desk since they weren’t part of the program. You saw Agatha take your mom’s borrowed credit card out of her purse to start your so-called treatment, and the last goodbyes left your tongue before one of the tutors started the tour of the place.
In between presenting a large number of different huts that served as dormitories and classrooms for the most diverse activities - painting, handicrafts or poetry were the ones you memorized - Mr. Emil Blonsky also took the time to welcome you, emphasizing how incredible the community was and how lucky anyone was to be there. You bit your tongue to keep from telling him that only those with money could.
Finally, Blonsky showed you the stables and greenhouses on the edge of the property, and on the way back to the rest of the huts, you noticed the path up the hill.
"And what's up there?" 
The man stopped walking with a small smile. He was wearing clothes very similar to those of the other people you'd seen on the tour, the difference being a golden necklace with a strange symbol that was hidden by the movement of his loosely buttoned shirt.
"We must not go up there without permission." He begins, although he's smiling, there's something in his gaze that says this rule cannot be disrespected. " The Prophetess' Retreat is a sacred place of peace and reflection." 
You look back at the hut at the bottom of the mountain, far enough away that you can't make out the decorations on the balcony, but still beautiful and quiet, high enough to make it look like the prophet had her own little piece of heaven.
"So, no bothering the boss without asking? Got it." You retort, getting a chuckle from the other at the summary. He starts walking again along the path towards the general area, but you can't help the curiosity burning in your chest. "About this prophet, will she be isolated up there or will I get a chance to meet her?"
Blonsky walks up beside you, and looks you in the eye to say; "You'll meet her when it's time to meet her, not early and not late."
You don't know what to say to that, everything here is so theatrical in a way. Mystical, you might say. It suits Aunt Aggie so well, that it's not hard to imagine her here, dancing to the midnight moon and talking to the trees. She already does that in New York, it should have been much simpler in the middle of the forest.
"Come, child. You must start the cleaning process soon." Announces the man as he picks up the pace on the trail. With a sigh, you decide not to contradict him by saying that you bathed before coming, thank you. 
It was soon revealed that the cleansing process really meant a bath - the colleagues around you who helped you laughed when you joked that it was a strange way of saying that someone stinks, before clarifying that it was nothing of the sort. The Cleansing Process was a bath of salts and herbs, in a tub of stones and some kind of botanical baptism, the latter of which only members who had completed thirteen full moons could take part in. You would be invited to the baptism with the prophet's blessing, but there was still a long way to go.
Blonsky handed your uniforms, and explained the last rules before leaving you alone, or almost, since your hut was shared with six other people, and despite this, it seemed very comfortable and organized. There were bunk beds and private bathroom spaces, and at least three spacious shelves for each. The latter wouldn't be of much use to you, since you'd brought almost nothing and the vast majority of your belongings had been left at NYU. Just thinking about that place gave you a terrible stomach ache: You would have skipped dinner, but the mere suggestion of not attending made one of your colleagues frown in concern and repeat the rules, so you ended up giving that up.
The routine that followed was calm: it didn't surprise you that the new members were responsible for the hardest tasks, and it didn't bother you either. You were never afraid of hard work, and keeping your hands busy also helped to calm your mind, so it was a win-win. Besides, even if you didn't get the jobs nobody wanted, all veterans had chores. There was some rule about the amount of service time and dedication being rewarded, so those senior members could choose what they wanted to do first. 
You didn't have to worry about this anyway: you would do what you had to do because, after all, the agreement was to stay here only for the summer. However, with each passing day away from exams, traffic, and New York's typical filth, it became harder to imagine leaving the Children of Chaos and their strange harmony and kindness.
After three weeks in the group, you learned to knit. You also earned the privilege of mail when you showed up for all your appointments without delay and decided to check the items in the privacy of your cabin during the last hour of prayer.
Since you hadn't yet found your faith or received your calling or whatever weird way Blonsky explained this, you barely joined in the prayer sessions. This evening, excited to receive news from home, was no different.
Aunt Aggie wrote about the store doing well and mentioned your mother, who didn't write to you with more than vague words about hoping you'd feel better soon. The best present was hidden in Nicholas' letter about the university being a sack without his favorite cousin. Wrapped in silk and next to a lighter.
You haven't earned the right to write outside yet - something about a month in isolation to accomplish. So you just clutched the items to your chest and wished your cousin knew how grateful you were.
Your initial intention was to save the weed for some more stressful day - which was rare in the leisurely pace of this place - but the last letter made you consider using it all that night.
The recipient's perfect handwriting, and the address you knew by heart. You didn't even open the item, you put it away in your drawer and stood up with the weed hidden in your pants pocket.
The common area was empty, as the vast majority of your colleagues were praying. You stepped up to one of the bonfires and threw the unopened letter into the flames, without hesitation and without caring to see it burn. You turned on your heels and continued along the trail, heading for one of the few more secluded spots you had discovered during the hours of exploring between tasks.
The rules were clear about the prophet's hut but said nothing about the road towards it. And since apparently everyone there was afraid of upsetting the boss, that spot was always empty and the perfect place to smoke in hiding.
You leaned against a tree, curled up and lit the weed, and tried to keep away all the painful memories about last semester that the damn letter had brought up.
You were halfway through a joint when you heard a voice at the end of the trail next to you.
"Good evening, Y/N."
"Jesus fucking Christ." You gasped, jumping with fright and almost dropping the blunt to the ground. You looked sideways abruptly, imagining that you were hallucinating because of the weed, and were almost sure that you were when the words escaped you due to the apparition in front of you. The most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life. Instead of a uniform, she wore a loose dark wine dress that hugged her curves perfectly; her long red hair cascaded down her shoulders and back and her emerald eyes shone curiously in your direction. The dim light from the fire lamps scattered along the trail and the moon really made the woman look like an angel. 
You coughed awkwardly. "Sorry, you scared me." You clarified, the cigarette hidden behind your back a stupid attempt to mask what you were doing. Sure enough, your pupils were dilated, and it was very easy to see the smoke. So, as soon as you tried to hide it, you gave up, offering the woman an awkward chuckle and gesturing the cigarette gently. "Don't tell on me."
There was a soft pause, which you couldn't tell from the intoxication in your system. The woman watched for a moment as the charming gesture of bringing the cigarette to the smile formed on your lips and blew the smoke into the starry sky with your neck slightly stretched. Your mind seemed to clear, and before the woman could speak, you grimaced. "Wait, didn't you just say my name? How..?"
She smiled, folding her hands in front of her body. "It was premeditated that we met today, of course. I'm Wanda."
You've heard her name before, in conversation circles and in advertisements about her heavenliness hanging around. 
"Shit." It was your natural reaction, which made her laugh softly, and it must have been the weed's fault that the sound echoed in your mind and made your body shudder.
"Don't worry, I won't snitch on you." She assures you with an easy smile playing on her lips, and you swallow dry, completely at a loss.
"Thanks... but I thought you were the boss." You mumble, and Wanda makes a funny expression, like a false realization. 
"Oh, you're right." She murmurs amusedly. "I think I can let this one slide if you'll share it with me." 
"Fuck, of course, here." Your limbs feel strange, almost too heavy to move around her. You awkwardly hand her the cigarette, certain that your face is flushed. Hell, the last time you were this clumsy was last semester, with-
"You swear a lot." Wanda's comment pulls you out of your daze. She takes a long drag before adding: "Especially for a Christian."
You chuckle, shaking your head. "My father's a Christian, not me." You retort, and end up grimacing. "And how do you know-"
"This is a very exclusive program, sweetheart." Wanda cuts you off again, the cigarette between her fingers but her gaze is completely focused on your face. "Having a lot of money or being someone's niece isn't enough to guarantee you a spot, but a good letter of recommendation might. And Agatha wrote me almost everything about you, except the reason for rushing to get you here before the next recruitment period."
The sentence was an invitation for you to speak, but you didn't fall for the bait. On the contrary, you looked away with tense shoulders, and Wanda didn't press. At least, not now. She took another drag before commenting more softly:
"We have general meetings every Wednesday. We encourage members to open up." 
You grimace softly. "Group therapy isn't my thing."
But Wanda smiles lopsidedly, giving you back the joint. " Neither is nice weed." She retorts a little provocatively, attracting your attention. "If you want to try something new, show up next week. And if you want to try something good, you should try the weed from our greenhouse. It won't taste like crushed dirt." Adjusting her hair around her shoulders, she offers you a wink. "Have a good night, darling."
You think about the color of her eyes for the rest of the night.
-&-
Sooner than you'd expect, you'll discover that Wanda isn't the type to let things slide. Far from it, she notices everything, especially those who are being too slack and prone to not following the teachings of the Children of Chaos, possibly ruining their record of total efficiency or something.
She puts an end to your plans for a quiet summer, trying to go unnoticed among the countless other followers just as abruptly as she left her meditation hut. Wanda seems to appear at every moment that you consider escaping from your commitments - it even occurs to you that she has a particular interest in watching you, but the idea sounds so absurd that you push it away while forcing a polite smile before returning to your duties.
Less than two weeks after you met, you finally stopped avoiding Group Therapy and showed up on time to join the session. The presence of Wanda, in a loose dark purple dress and her red hair tied up in a neat braid, makes you almost give up, convinced that you couldn't say anything without stuttering in the presence of such a stunning woman.
But she offers a gentle smile, opening her arms softly. "Come along, darling, you're just in time." She greets and you stumble towards a corner in the background, begging the gods that you can attend in silence this time.
It doesn't seem so difficult when it's other people doing it. A young man with whom you've already shared the task of looking after the stables spoke of the frustrations of returning from enforced service with a missing limb, and how the support he didn't get from the government and family members, he found here. Bucky received a finger-snapping applause - something that was explained to you as a way to avoid triggers on the countless ex-combatants or victims of post-traumatic stress that make up the crowd - before giving his turn to another ex-military woman, Carol Danvers.
More stories were shared until Wanda's gaze fell on your slumped figure and she called your name. All the attention in the room fell on you too, and you chuckled awkwardly.
"Thanks, but I'm not good at public speaking." You retorted, but Wanda, with her hands folded over her stomach, gave you a gentle smile.
"Don't worry about it, dear, this is a no-judgment zone." She says, but you make no mention of getting up, and her gaze becomes more insistent. "It's important that we all make an effort to be present at these exercises. We encourage participation around here. Come along, dear, please." And she smiled so kindly that you could only trust her.
The group offered a small chorus of encouragement, and before you knew it, you were a few steps away from the redhead, who held out her hands for your wrists.
"I want you to take a deep breath and close your eyes." Wanda guided, her melodic voice bringing goose bumps all over your body. "Turn all your attention inward. And tell me, is there anything in there that you'd like to share with the group?"
The memories of last semester hit you full force. But Wanda massages your wrists and it feels as if she can calm down the whole storm inside of you.
You sigh, before opening your eyes. "I... I don't know where to start." Your whisper is met by another chorus of support from the members, who retort that you're safe. Wanda releases your wrists to sit with the others, and you try not to be so self-conscious while you're in the spotlight. "I think I can share with you the reason why I'm here." You declare a moment later, taking another deep breath.
Bucky gives you an encouraging smile, mimicking that of the people around him, and you swallow.
"I don't have a history of fighting and overcoming war or any illnesses, so I'm sorry to disappoint anyone." You mumble, receiving confused looks.
The former sergeant assures you: "No problem competes with another. All our pains have their importance." And it seems to be something that has already been repeated here a few times because everyone shakes their heads in agreement.
You scratch the back of your head awkwardly. "Right... well, I won't beat around the bush. A month ago, when I was first enrolled here, I had just been kicked out of my house. Well, it wasn't exactly my house anymore, because I'd been living on campus for about three years, but I think you get the idea." You say, laughing awkwardly at the anxiety in your chest. You try to clear your throat so that your voice doesn't come out so shaky, but only Wanda's gaze really helps to calm your nerves. "And the reason for this was a relationship that my parents, more specifically my mother, didn't approve of. To be fair, no one really approved, because, well, the person... hm, I don't think there's any other way to put it, was another woman. An older woman, and also my professor. And well, the whole thing would have been a scandal anyway, but I really let myself believe that when the worst was over, we'd be fine. Bad news, we weren't." You laugh sadly. You pause, imagining that you'll get judgmental looks, but everyone listens attentively. "For a while, I thought the worst part was afterward. When everyone knew and judged me, and how my mother freaked out, and I tried... but no. The worst part was not realizing what that love if I can call it that, was doing to me. How ill it was making me. And until I got here, learned things about myself, and managed to take a break from everything that was left behind... For a while, I really hoped to go back and fix everything, but now... damn, sometimes I don't even think about leaving this place."
The group celebrates quietly, exchanging words of encouragement. Your ears feel warm, and Wanda stands up again. "You can stay as long as you need, darling." She says, massaging your forearm. She calls someone else to speak, but doesn't miss the opportunity to whisper in your ear: "I'm proud, stay a little longer today, I want to talk to you." 
And you think you haven't absorbed anything for the rest of the morning.
Eventually, the session ends, and as soon as the room is empty, Wanda turns her face towards you.
"You were brave today, sweetheart." 
Your hands, busy putting the cushions away, tremble a little. But you offer her an incredulous chuckle.
"Yeah, right." It's your answer, which makes Wanda frown in curiosity. At her inquisitive silence, you sigh before clarifying: "Everyone's nice, but I know it's kind of silly that my big trauma is a break-up and not post-traumatic stress from war or something that actually matters."
Wanda presses her lips together, studying you for a moment, and you take the opportunity to put away the last of the cushions. Suddenly, she says:
"This lack of respect for your own feelings comes from parental negligence, I suppose."  You turn your face away in surprise, but Wanda gives you a small smile: "James wasn't lying when he said that no pain should compete with another. We all have our internal and external battles, and we shouldn't belittle our pain. I believe we should honor it, and wear it. And here, dear, you will learn to do that." Wanda makes her way around to one of the cupboards at the back, and you watch her movements in silence, from reaching into one of the last drawers to returning to you with an item in hand. "I have an invitation for you."
She opens the box she's brought, and inside is a necklace very similar to the one the instructors wear. The main difference is the symbol, the crown that Wanda also carries on the pendant around her neck. You frown in confusion.
"What is it?"
She wraps the item between her fingers, her gaze on you. "The disciple's necklace. The last one from the current solstice." 
You imitate the gesture, touching the item with the tips of your fingers. Wanda doesn't move her hand away as your fingers brush together, and you ignore your own shyness as you watch her bite her lip for a moment. "I don't understand what it means."
She licks her lips, and the movement doesn't go unnoticed by your eyes. "It means that you would be my apprentice. You would accompany me during periods of meditation, you would study my teachings closely, you would be... entirely dedicated to..."
"You?" you add, and Wanda lets out a shuddering breath, warm against your cheek. When did she get so close?
"If you wish." She whispers, and you pull away gently, your face hot but the last thread of sanity in your mind.
"I'm sure there are more experienced members dying for this position. It wouldn't be right-"
Wanda shakes her head, interrupting you. "They weren't chosen. You were." She assures you, pressing the box with the necklace against your chest. "And if it wasn't you, the place would be empty until the next solstice. You don't have to accept it, darling. It's not a summons. It's an invitation."
You sigh, holding the box against your chest. "I just... I've never done anything like this. I don't want to mess things up."
There's a bell in the distance, signaling the start of the next activities. Wanda glances outside briefly before stepping close enough to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth that makes your whole body heat up at once.
"Just listen to your instincts." She whispers, before pulling away with a small smile.
You write to Agatha about it the following evening, but you don't have the courage to seal the letter for sending. The whole conversation with Wanda seems too private to be shared in this way. 
Although the woman said it was just an invitation, you could feel some pressure to make a decision, and it seems that the news had been circulating ever since one of the tutors couldn't find the box of the last chaos disciple pendant, and Wanda ended up mentioning that she had extended another invitation.
In a way, you were stalling. Between your activities and meetings, you hadn't made any decisions and you hoped that the end of the summer would force Wanda to choose someone else. But there was also the question of the new, burning feelings that had appeared since you first laid eyes on her, and which seemed to awaken every time you two were in the same environment. 
The idea of departing, of leaving her behind like a closed chapter in your life, seemed absurd every passing day.
In your second month with the Chaos Children, you received a rather unusual request: take the prophet her morning drink.
The crumpled piece of paper was handed to you by one of your cabin mates: Kate Bishop. A former student, a little younger than you, who, after destroying a bell at the university, was sent here by her millionaire mother. Kate was to stay until she had balanced her irresponsible impulses and could take over the family's security empire.
She seemed a little reluctant to interrupt your concentration on cleaning the garden, but much more determined not to disappoint Wanda.
"Just give it to the kitchen staff, they'll know what to do. And prioritize, she doesn't like to wait." Said the girl, but you gave her hand a gentle tug before taking the paper.
"But why did she ask me?" you asked, but Kate had no idea and just shrugged before leaving the garden.
While the kitchen staff prepared the item, you tried to improve your appearance in the bathroom next to the lounge, wiping all the soil from the plants from under your fingers, and even what had run into your cheeks. 
When you came out, there was another order on the counter and a small group of people who hadn't been there before. They didn't see you. Blonsky, accompanied by two other women you didn't know, were talking to each other.
"I bet it was Carter. She hasn't stopped talking about her private piano lessons with the Prophetess for four whole weeks." Said the first, but the other laughed quietly.
" Sharoon is a simp, that's all. Wanda wouldn't choose her after the episode with Rogers last year, she knows she can't trust her." Rebutted the other. "Besides, I would have assumed it was Bishop, after all, she already acts like a maid. Why train another when you already have one so dedicated?" The women laugh amongst themselves until they finally notice you approaching, and fall silent. Blonsky smiles, but he appears very vicious. 
"Hello, miss. Wouldn't you like to have a say in who our next disciple is?" He asks you, but you shrug, moving forward in the queue in front of the canteen to grab the prophet's items that were clearly being prepared in priority. 
"I don't know anything about it." That's your answer, but the shorter woman gets in your way.
"Come on, dear, it's easy." She begins with a giggle. "Every solstice, the prophetess chooses her disciples. There are 24 of them, 12 of whom will become apostles after their apprenticeship."
You grimace softly. "It's very biblical."
Blonsky chuckles. "Of course, it is, despite the multiculturalism of our group, Wanda was raised in a Jewish Christian home. You're not going to tell me you didn't know that?"
You clear your throat. "Not really. Sorry, I have to run."
But the man puts a hand in your way, only to stretch his body out on the counter and reach for some colored leaves that he crushes and drops into Wanda's glass.
"She likes it this way. I would know, I prepared many when I was her houseboy for the first few weeks here." He says, and you swallow dry, mumbling an awkward thank you before hurrying off.
The path is a little tiring, you think it makes sense of Wanda's physique if she had to climb that trail every day, and you mentally curse yourself for thinking about her body. It's not at all appropriate, honestly.
The door is open, but you knock anyway. The woman inside, wearing her typical long, loose dresses at the edge, is busy finishing a loose fringe in her hair and offers you a smile.
"Come in, dear." 
You do so a little awkwardly, almost overwhelmed by the moment of entering the most private place in the whole camp. It's a beautiful cabin, you let her know, without stopping to admire the perfectly arranged surroundings. You would have thought that the privacy of this place would allow her to make some kind of personal mess, but everything is impeccably in place.
Wanda approaches to pick up the items, and the smile falters on her face at the first sip of her drink.
"Did you put... did you put maca root in this?" She asks, and your natural reaction is a short laugh.
"I didn't prepare it, Wanda."
But she doesn't smile again, her tone of voice remains the same but her attitude changes to one of false kindness. "My morning drink is an ashwagandha. I need my concentration to increase, not my libido." It really sounded like a scolding, and her attitude of handing the cup back to you, accompanied by the memory of the recent events, made your blood boil.
"Well, I'm not your fucking maid, so if it's not good, get another one downstairs, or even better, make it one yourself."
It's the first time you see any kind of fury in her gaze, hot and vibrant, and it makes something in you rouse. Your mention of leaving the cabin is prevented by her hands closing the door and trapping you against the wood.
Wanda takes a deep breath, and the gleam in her eyes changes. "Can I ask... where did this attitude come from?"
You hold the glass tightly against your body, very aware that you'll drop it if Wanda doesn't step away and let you breathe. "I just want to make things clear." You retort with a seriousness that doesn't do justice to the way your heart is racing. "I didn't come to this place to be your personal servant."
Wanda chuckles briefly, letting her gaze drop to your mouth. "Oh, of course not, darling." She whispers. "You're not the type to follow orders willingly. You'd do a terrible job."
Swallowing dryly, you retort: "And why am I here then?"
Wanda smiles innocently. "I asked you to bring my drink." It's her reply, clearly trying to tease you, and you snort impatiently.
"I bet you expected an answer. Well, I haven't made up my mind yet, so if there's nothing else, I'll just go."
Wanda moves to take the glass from you and put it on the table by the door. The next second, her hands are in yours.
"Don't be silly, of course, there's another reason." She retorts, pulling you along as she walks backward into the cabin. "I hear you love painting."
What you had assumed was her personal painting canvas is offered to you. The laugh that escapes you is shy and genuine.
"Wanda, I don't... paint anymore."
But she doesn't flinch, her hands still in yours. "I know you haven't since last semester. It was in the letter. But you've progressed so much, that I thought you could paint for me." When you don't answer, she makes such an adorable expression that your heart skips a beat. "Please?"
Wanda definitely knows how beautiful she is, and how those puppy-dog eyes can take her anywhere. You bite back a smile, agreeing, and almost forget to breathe when she jumps excitedly onto your neck, hugging it for a whole moment before letting go as if she hadn't turned you into a complete mess with one touch.
She doesn't complain about the cocktail again - instead, she drinks it entirely while you get comfortable on the painting stool, doodling for a few moments before starting to paint the only thing you could after so many months without touching a paintbrush.
It's only when the drawing is clearer on the frame that Wanda becomes restless again. Loud sighs take your attention away from the painting and towards her.
"Is something wrong?"
She smiles half-heartedly, and only now do you notice the soft color of her cheeks. "I shouldn't have ignored my own complaints and drunk that juice."
You frown in confusion, letting the brush rest next to the paints. "Was it that bad? If you want, I'll complain to the kitchen-"
Wanda chuckles, shaking her head and you have to shut up because she reaches over to push the canvas out of the way and stops right in front of you, close enough to touch.
"Remember what I said? About focus and about... my libido." She asks, and you can swallow dryly, looking up in the direction of her dilated eyes. She lets her hands rest on your shoulders, pressing the weight of her body gently into yours. "Well, I suppose you'll have to see for yourself. Hold out your hand sweetheart, no, no, down... yes, you can move my dress out of the way." Your trembling fingers brushed against her knee, and immediately obeyed the order. Slowly making your way under her dress, while Wanda bit her lip and watched you draw patterns on her thighs. Finally, your fingers reached the side of her underwear. Instead of pulling it down, you let the inks drop to the ground, and your other hand went under her dress too, repeating the same path as before while you and Wanda panted together. Your face fell forward, flush into her dress, and you pressed your nose against her, inhaling deeply the scent of arousal she exhaled so strongly.
Her hands squeezed your shoulders as yours began to pull down her panties right away. A moment later, gracefully as everything so far, she kicked the item aside and spread her legs gently so that you could slide your fingers between more easily.
You looked up the second your index finger met her warmth, gasping at the mischievous smile of the woman in front of you.
"All this time I've been here..." You started hoarsely, your fingers spreading the wetness between her folds, and enjoying the way Wanda's breath caught in her throat. "Were you this wet?" 
Despite the failure of her own breathing, and the way it's harder to stand up with your intimate stimulation, Wanda gives you a mischievous look and leans her forehead against yours, her red hair making a curtain between your faces. 
"I get like this every time I'm around you." She confesses, giving you a provocative tug on your lower lip that forces you to thrust inside her with more determination. Almost enough for her to lose her pose. Almost. "It's disconcerting, to be honest."
Your thumb presses down firmly on her clit, and Wanda almost buckles into you, the delicious sound that escapes her throat will be in your dreams for sure. "Well, should I apologize, high sanctity?"
She chuckles at the teasing hidden in the nickname, before leaning in completely and capturing your mouth in a fervent kiss that takes you out of orbit for a whole moment, intense enough for you to whimper into her tongue, and force her hips down into yours, practically begging her to grind your lap. Wanda's response to this is a dirty giggle mixed with a moan into your mouth.
Without breaking the kiss that turns into a much hungrier one the next second, you get to your feet, adjusting your hands to grab her thighs to pull her onto your lap and carry her around the room. Between stumbles, you press each other against the various surfaces of the room, tables, and cupboards, exchanging increasingly hot and desperate kisses, and you're pretty sure you're going to have Wanda against the bookshelf if she keeps grinding into your abdomen like that.
In a pause for breath, when she's still wedged between you and the bookcase, your mouth descends on her jaw and Wanda struggles to keep her eyes open. She whimpers shamelessly as your curious hands advance down her body, pulling her dress out of the way and leaving it barely hanging off her body for you to clasp your palms over her now-bare breasts.
Her patience for release is quickly exhausted by the precise stimulation of her breasts, your eager fingers teasing and pinching her nipples until you turn her into a whimpering mess. She gives a determined tug on the hair at the nape of your neck, forcing your face back to hers in a hard, dirty kiss that makes you shudder. She breaks it only to give an order: 
"On your knees." And you groan in obedience, falling to the floor almost at once, desperately pulling her dress aside to force your face into her, now with nothing in the way. Wanda arches her back once your hot mouth finds her drenched cunt; her hands desperate for some kind of support on the shelves behind her, while her chest heaves and her hips are restless against your face. 
Your hungry mouth leisurely devours her, your tongue teasing her folds, spreading her wetness around and making a mess on your face. Your closed eyes show your dedication and surrender to the task, but Wanda tugs at your hair again, trying to gain a little control back and order you to quit the teasing and fuck her the way she needs you to. Fully dilated Irises then confronts her from between her legs, and Wanda loses her breath. 
"Beautiful." She panted, staring back, shamelessly grinding herself into your face. "So beautiful... fuck... on your knees for me... oh, God, detka." She struggles to compliment you, but her native language begins to escape mixed with English shortly afterward, her climax approaching. You moan contentedly at the scene, aware of the state of your own underwear from all this play. Wanda's body begins to betray her, trying to pull away so you grab her thighs with a strong grip, and one of her legs ends up over your shoulder, increasing your reach just the way she needs it to fall over the edge.
Wanda comes on your tongue, spasming against the books, and in a deep moan. You don't let her pull away, keeping her restless hips in place as you lick your way through her previous climax in search of a new one. Soon her whimpering protests at the overstimulation turn into begging, and you fail to hide the smug smile at feeling her so at your mercy for a second time.
She's so close, so close, that the Sokovian comes back to her tongue, but there's a sudden knock on the door, and all the stimulation is interrupted by your fright. Wanda gasps incredulously, losing the time to react in time due to her own lust, and having to watch you stumble away - quickly wiping her cum from your chin with the back of your hand - as she tries not to fall down on her shaking knees.
"Why the fuck did you stop?" she asks in frustration through her teeth, but you, with a very flushed face, look at her with a certain desperation.
"Wanda, there's someone at the door!" You retort as if it were a very justifiable reason to steal an orgasm from her. Wanda huffs angrily, lunging at you and ignoring your confused eyes to pull you upright by the collar of your shirt, hurriedly throwing you onto the mattress. "W-wanda, what?"
"Quiet." She cuts in, pushing your shoulders until you're lying down and following the movement of your body to straddle your lap. The person outside knocks again, and although she's pulling her off, and is still shaking from her last orgasm, Wanda manages to speak in the same tone of voice as she does every morning meeting: "What is it?"
Your protests are muffled when Wanda sits on your face, and in fact, you would have forgotten any guests if Blonsky's voice hadn't sounded in the next second.
"Good morning, Reverend, I've come to join you for today's service." Says the man, but Wanda has to bite her lip hard because you're eating her out again, somehow even better than before. "Reverend?"
Wanda shakes her head, frowning at the difficulty of maintaining a rational thought when she has your tongue inside her. "Hm, I'm not going today, Blonsky... Deliver the service in my place." She fails to sound so breathless and has to close her eyes when your hands grip her thighs tightly, holding her down. 
Blonsky then sounds concerned: "Aren't you feeling well, Reverence?"
Your nose nuzzles into her clit and Wanda reaches for the headboard, a satisfied sigh escaping her. "I feel great." She murmurs back and has to take a deep breath so that the next sound that escapes her isn't a moan. "Just busy. Anything else, Blonsky?"
The man clears his throat, Wanda has to press a hand against her own mouth as you reach another right spot. 
"Hm, yes, Reverend... As you know, the deadline for the selection of the disciple is coming to an end." He begins, luckily unable to hear the muffled sighs inside the room through the closed door. "I have expressed my concerns to Your Reverence about a premature choice of new members-"
Wanda snorts impatiently. "Are you really going to question my choices again, Blonsky?"
"N-no, reverend!" He defends himself quickly. "Never. I just worry that the... affinity, that Your Reverence has acquired for some new members, might affect your judgment about their vocations. The premature choice of a disciple could result in their departure from our community, and we know how the withdrawal of one of our own affects everyone..."
"Don't worry about it." Wanda cuts dry, and now, she's remarkably close to climaxing. She doesn't care about the roughness, she thrusts her hips frantically into your face, muffling your breathless moans. "Y/N is the best choice... she's... so-god... dedicated and-hm... talented-" Wanda's lucky you're quick to react too. She would have screamed to the ceiling, exposing all the inappropriate activities in the room if you hadn't grabbed her thighs and spun her on her back onto the mattress. She didn't have time to lose this orgasm by the brief interruption of your movements - your fingers took the place of your tongue when you hovered above her, and your free hand covered her mouth when you sank inside her again.
Wanda came harder than before, squeezing your fingers and wetting the bed. She clings to your body in a desperate grasp, shocked by the achievement over her body, and grateful for the muffling of her moans. You keep thrusting until she stops squirting on the sheets.
You only remember that Blonsky is still outside because he speaks again. "I'll take your word for it, Your Reverence. And I hope you've made a good choice." He says at last, the sound of his footsteps moving away is ignored by you and Wanda, who meet in a hot kiss in the next second.
Your fingers continue to thrust lightly inside her, even though Wanda shudders from the excessive stimulation. And despite this, she also controls the kiss, which slows down so that she can ask in between: "Tell me, love. Did I do it? A good choice."
You kiss her a little harder. "I still don't know... what I want... or what I should do, Wanda."
She brings one of her hands up to your wrist, stopping your movements. You open your eyes to look at her. Wanda smiles, but her eyes are very mischievous. "You think too hard when the answer is right here." She retorts, giving your hand a gentle tug. You follow her lead, and soon, you have your drenched fingers with her cum inside your mouth. Your hips move instinctively, pressing down on her, and Wanda giggles mischievously, her free hand trailing down your back to encourage the movement. "Don't you want that, baby? You can be all mine."
You suck your fingerprints clean, removing them from your mouth to support yourself on the mattress now that you're so wildly grinding your hips against Wanda's thigh. She doesn't let you indulge in the sensation, grabbing your cheek and stopping your hips with the other at your silence.
Your soft protest is ignored, and your voice is almost a pathetic plea when it comes out. "It's not fair... I was feeling so good."
"Oh, darling, I can make you feel even better, every day if you decide to stay with me." She retorts, her grip softening on your cheek. You look at her, but there is still hesitation in your gaze and Wanda wishes to replace this doubt with something else. She kisses you but pulls away when you go to increase the intensity, ignoring your protest and pushing you gently away by the shoulders. "No playing, until I have an answer."
Wanda flees - because she doesn't think she'll live up to her words if she is under you - and slips out of bed before you can grab her back. Your next long protest is muffled against the mattress because you press your face down.
Wanda giggles half-heartedly as she stands up, reaches for her dress, and tries to adjust her appearance a little. "Thank you for the sex, sweetheart, it was a very pleasant surprise, but I can't let Blonsky lead a communion, he's not good at it. And you have errands, so if you'll excuse me..." Your silence made Wanda, now dressed, look at the bed again. To her surprise, you were sitting on the mattress, hanging something around your neck. 
Your gaze met hers as the disciple chain was secure on your skin. The mischief in your gaze made her swallow. Twirling the symbol between your fingers, you smiled as you asked: "So how does this work? Should I confess my sins so that you can forgive me?"
"God offers forgiveness, not me." Wanda whispers back, brazenly watching you start to unbutton your shirt, the necklace hanging in the valley of your breasts is doing things to her. 
"Hm, since I'm going to be forgiven, maybe I can sin a little more..." Wanda moved on instinct, crawling onto the bed to meet you halfway like a magnet being drawn towards you.
Your foreheads touched, and she sighed against your lips. "I should punish you for this blasphemy." She says, to which you smile naughtily before sticking out your tongue to tease her lips, eliciting a low moan from her.
"Promise?" You challenge, and Wanda gets tired of wasting time.
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kuromochimi · 1 year ago
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Of weddings and what ifs
sakusa kiyoomi x wedding organizer f!reader
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♡ You loved your job and the joy of being able to bring to life the weddings that couples could only dream of, before they had met you. The only downside to it was that your job sometimes reminded you of a certain ex fiancé. Fortunately, he hasn’t made an appearance in your life since you broke the engagement off. But with the red string of fate connecting you and your ex fiancé not being totally severed yet, it was only a matter of time before it brought you back into each other’s lives. Only this time, he’s tied to another.
Content Warnings: ONE SHOT, angst, little fluff and comfort, no closure break ups, not proof read, a small hint for an open ending, lmk if I missed any!
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With the final arrangements settled, you finally felt free enough to take a breath and appreciate the (once again) perfect event you’d managed to organize. It was exhausting to say the least, but the happy couples who would often tear up out of joy while thanking you? Yes, it was definitely worth it. And it was a job that paid fairly well too. Moments after you’ve had the time to look around the venue, a notification from your phone caught your attention. It was a notice from your secretary about new clients. She reminded you that you had to meet them the following day. You then made sure to set up alarms and reminders as you were sure you would oversleep otherwise, after all, the current event would definitely last til the late hours. And that it did.
The following day, you tried your best to make yourself look freshened up and awake. You arrived at the meeting place quite early. You double checked all the files and documents which you might need. Thankfully, not long after you finished fixing your papers, the client arrived. She approached gently before speaking “Hi! I’m keiko. You’re yn, right? I saw your picture on the pamphlet” she smiled shyly. You noticed just how soft spoken and beautiful this lady was. She definitely has that “soon to be married” glow. “Hello, yes! It’s me. I’m glad to finally meet you, keiko!” You stood up to shake her hand. You both settled down after the introductions. “Will it be just you for today?” You asked her before you started discussing anything. “Oh my fiancé will be here soon. He just suddenly had to run an errand for his mom. He’s..” she grabbed her phone to check on something, probably a message. “Oh he’s just parking his car now” you gave a nod of acknowledgment at that. With your seat facing the entrance, you could clearly see the people who walked in and out of the cafe. Which meant that when sakusa kiyoomi walked in, your eyes immediately gravitated towards him. He started looking around, eyes landing on you. Or at least you thought they did, before keiko looked back from her seat, immediately getting up to hug sakusa once she was made aware of his presence. She guided the man back to your table. You tried your best to mask whatever feeling was forcing its way out of you. “Yn, this is my fiancé. You can just call him k-“ . “sakusa, you can call me sakusa” he cut her off. Keiko was a bit taken aback by her fiancé’s interruption but she was quick to ward off the confusion. While the discussion went on, you couldn’t help but feel anxious and even more tired. You weren’t sure if it was because of last night’s event execution or if it was because in front of you was your ex-fiancé, asking you to organize his wedding. The fiancé who was too busy for wedding planning. The fiancé who thought he couldn’t give you what you deserved. The fiancé who left.
The world felt like it was nothing but air. You couldn’t feel much at all and you were probably only functioning out of pure muscle memory acquired from all the times you’ve done this pre-planning orientation for engaged couples. Your consciousness was jolted awake when keiko stood up. “Yn I’m really sorry but I’m being called in for work. One of my patients had an emergency. Please just settle the rest with kiyoomi, I’ll see you again soon!” She hurriedly left. Her absence immediately making way for the awkward silence filled with all of the unspoken thoughts you and sakusa tried to keep in for the last hour or so.
“I’m sorry”. The words felt unreal. They felt empty, and fake though you were sure kiyoomi would never say something he didn’t mean. “What are you sorry for, sakusa?” He visibly flinched at the name he suggested you called him by, not even an hour ago. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be.. all this for you” the moment made your ring finger feel heavy despite the absence of the ring that used to wrap itself around it.
His words brought you back to the day he left after he’d had enough of your complaints about having to plan the wedding all by yourself. He was starting off as a doctor back then, a new resident who wanted to do all that he could to establish his career. You were both fairly young back then, which was probably why you both thought getting married at that point of your lives was surreal. For some, maybe it was so. But for you two? Apparently not. Because not long after he proposed, he soon found that the demands of being a surgical resident wasn’t something to take lightly. While you were also working, you never failed to make time for wedding planning. Of course, you knew that his schedule was much more taxing than yours but it still pained you to make invitations on your own, taste test cakes by yourself. “I want whatever you want” was what he’d said as compensation for his absence. But when you were trying on dresses and you looked at yourself in the mirror gown and all, the weight of keeping everything in came crashing down because “he should be here” was all you could think. Sakusa wasn’t superstitious so he certainly wouldn’t give a fuck about seeing you in your wedding dress before the wedding day. Heck, he even said he’d love to pick one out with you. But he wasn’t with you. So when he came home from work, tired and not thinking straight, he was met with your equally tired looking figure, sitting on the couch, crying. He didn’t even get a word out before you spoke your mind and while he did understand, he didn’t have the energy to argue further. Because in his head, you should’ve understood why he couldn’t be there. And even when you both reconciled that night, nothing had changed. The same cycle continued until neither of you found enough reason to keep the promise of getting married. Though you wished he would’ve at least said goodbye instead of leaving a shitty sorry note on top of your counter, along with the apartment keys.
“It’s fine. Let’s just forget about it” you tried your best to sound sincere but you couldn’t exactly lie your way out of a confrontation with someone with whom you literally intended to spend the rest of your life with at some point in time. “Do you.. do you want me to find another planner? I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was gonna be you, yn. I promise I never intended to-“ he stops as you held your hand up to signal your request for silence. “Sakusa, it’s fine. Like I said, let’s just forget about it. I promise not to let what happened get in the way of your wedding planning.” The day went by very slowly, both you and kiyoomi moving and speaking like virtual characters merely accomplishing tasks assigned to them. “Well, that’s about it. Please let your fiancé know about the details she missed and… congratulations for the engagement” you chimed before briskly walking out of the cafe where sakusa was left dumbfounded and extremely confused as to how he was going to address this wild turn of events.
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Throughout the planning, you’ve come to learn that keiko was an amazing person. She was passionate about her work advocacies, she was kind and soft spoken, extremely understanding, and though you didn’t mean to have such thoughts, whenever she spoke of kiyoomi, you never seem to miss the times she’d tell stories about how busy the man was and that she understood him anyway. Because she loved him. Because she was the same way sometimes. Something you weren’t able to do for him during such a challenging time in his life. It caused conflict in your heart to learn all of those things. Because it warmed your heart to see such a happy bride to be. She radiated happiness and everything in between whenever she was with kiyoomi and kiyoomi looked at ease whenever he was with her and that’s something because kiyoomi rarely looked at ease. They were happy but as much as you wanted to take that happiness as a sign to let your hurt go, it just didn’t work that way. To be quite frank, until now, you still harbored a little (or more) hurt from the fact that someone you had initially agreed to marry, was capable of leaving you without even saying it to your face. Before you came home to an empty apartment with his goodbye note, you were even going to propose the idea that maybe you guys should just postpone the wedding and maybe wait for things to settle in before you resume planning. Instead, you were met with your ex-fiancé’s absence. His clothes missing from the closet, medical books out of the shelves, even his favorite mug was nowhere to be found. It was as if only the note he left behind could serve as proof that you were once in a relationship with him. You tried contacting his family and closest friends but most of them ignored your calls and those of them who answered obviously tried their best to dodge answering your questions. You were at your lowest then. You took a long leave from work, barely ate, barely showered, was often sick, and would constantly wonder how things could have been had you just kept your mouth shut instead of nagging a tired kiyoomi.
It wasn’t helping that you were thinking about all of this a few minutes before the couple’s consultation with you. The wedding was moving closer and closer and you’ve been spending more and more time with them and it still honestly feels like the world is caving in every single time. It’s an unexplainable feeling. You wanted nothing more than to see them get married, sincerely congratulate the couple, let go of all that’s been bugging you in the past, and finally move on with your life, something you haven’t been able to do since you and kiyoomi broke things off. Your thoughts were cut short when someone entered your office. It was keiko and she was alone. “Yn? Hi, I just wanted to talk to you real quick” “quick? but we have so much to do” she smiles gently before taking a seat across your desk. “I don’t know how else to put it but… I know about you and kiyoomi. I didn’t know when I first met you but he told me everything and I just want to tell you that it’s okay if you want to talk to him about it. You both need it, yn. I know it’s none of my business but I hope you think about it. Don’t worry, I understand.” Ah. You see it. This is the woman he fell in love with. This was the woman worth the change and this was the woman able to match him perfectly. There’s no fighting that. “Keiko I don’t know, you don’t have to” she softly reached for your hand to hold it in both of hers. “You deserve an explanation, yn. Kiyoomi might have changed since then but I’m not about to marry someone who’s able to leave someone just like that. If you feel like you don’t need to speak with him, I respect that. But if you want to talk to him, let him know, it’s okay, don’t worry about me.”
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You took up the offer. Maybe if keiko didn’t come up to you to say that it was okay to look for closure, you would have spent the rest of your life swallowing your need for an explanation from your ex.
“Thank you for agreeing to talk, yn.” You only gave him a light nod as you looked far into the expanse of trees ahead. View from where you were seated at a nice private little cafe. “Kiyoomi I just want to know. Why did you leave like that?” With fidgety hands, you tried to calm down. “I just felt like I didn’t deserve you anymore. I hurt you after I asked you to marry me. I didn’t deserve that ‘yes’ anymore” after a nod, you responded “So you just? Wrote a note then dipped? Kiyoomi I still wanted to marry you then. I was going to postpone it but I still wanted to marry you.” He knew that. “It’s exactly why I left. Because you still wanted to marry me even after what I did. I didn’t deserve you anymore.” “Kiyoomi, for the longest time, I wanted to tell you that I was willing to wait for you and that I was sorry for nagging you that day. Then I was obsessed with trying to find out which one of us was at fault. I wanted someone to be at fault because how does it happen that two people love each other so much but still end up separating just like that? But it’s been a while now and I think… I think maybe we should forgive each other now. I honestly felt bitter lots of times even til only recently but seeing you with keiko.. she’s a great girl and she deserves all the happiness. We should close this part of our lives now, shouldn’t we?” Kiyoomi stood up and you thought he was about to walk out but he pulled your arm to get you to stand up before he gave you a tight, warm, and sincere hug. One unlike any other he had given before. It wasn’t an I missed you hug but not a goodbye one either. It was one of acceptance and peace. Though it didn’t feel familiar, none of his embraces have felt as warm as this one. After pulling away from the hug, you grabbed your purse, as you got ready to leave. “Omi, I sincerely wish you and keiko the best” this time, you said it with utmost sincerity.
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Wedding day
With flowers and good food and genuine smiles, the wedding went by without a hitch. Much to your relief. You decided to stay a little but longer for the reception, snack on a fee things before leaving. With a glass of champagne in one hand and your purse in the other, you walked around the venue, checking on things here and there. Well, not until someone bumped into you knocking the glass of champagne off your hand, spilling champagne on your dress, shattering the glass on the pavement, and causing you to fall on your bum all at once. “Hey, you okay? Come here” the tall man gently guided you to stand up. He immediately removed his coat to wrap it around your frame to hide at least a little bit of the stain. “You hurt anywhere?” It took a while for you to respond. “Oh- oh yeah I’m okay, no worries, sir” “it’s Suna. Suna Rintaro”
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valley-of-headcanons · 30 days ago
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hiii!! so I’m actually the anon who requested those bold! farmer head canons for Harvey all that time ago! unfortunately, I’m still a harvey simp!!! (and I still love ur writing so much lol)
how about harvey with a farmer who just…. does not eat well. like, his microwave-dinner centered diet is significantly better than what farmer eats in a day lol. and sometimes they literally just eat snacks throughout the day with no proper food. not for any depressing reasons, mostly just laziness! and harvey is just…. politely horrified. (and progressively less polite about it the closer they get lmao.)
harvey x malnutritioned!farmer || headcanons
when harvey learns that the farmer lives off of snacks and not real meals, the doctor in him can't help but step in!
warnings: unhealthy eating habits, skipping meals, etc.
requested by: anon! hiya, thank you for requesting again! sorry it took so long! i hope you enjoy, i had a whole lot of fun writing! :)
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• Your first check-up with Dr. Harvey was a simple one, he checked the normal boxes needed to be filled. He was a bit stern when learning about your eating habits. He inquired heavily, but he soon came to terms with it. Harvey was not keen on snacking throughout the day instead of eating a real meal to refuel, but he was a doctor, not your parent! So, he gave you a pamphlet on eating healthier and sent you on your way.
• Harvey was NOT pleased when you had passed out in the mines due to a lack of energy. You got a very stern talking to! “Please, do not jeopardize yourself like this! Your health is very important, and you have to have energy with your busy schedule! You can take time out of your day to have a full meal, no more snacking! You have to properly refuel your energy ... could I help you with making a meal plan? With nutritious food?”
• You tried your hardest to follow Harvey's meal plan, cooking for yourself or going to the Saloon if you were too tired to fix anything. You hated to admit it, but ... it worked. You were way more energetic, and you certainly did feel better! ... on days where you actually followed it. You were so busy, and time started slipping away from you ... you fell back into your old ways. And your now boyfriend Harvey was picking up on it.
• “Dear, I say this with all the love in my heart ... your eating habits scare me. No, terrify me. This is not a way to maintain your body! Please, start taking more care of yourself, love ... as much as I love having you in my office, I can't have you there for actually being sick from malnourishment. I know you're busy, but please set aside some time for simple self care ...”
• Harvey was set on helping you out, making a second lunch everyday just in case you stopped by the office. It was a daily ritual, and you had at least one full meal a day! Look at you go! Harvey had infiltrated your snacky lifestyle, but not fully. You were still skipping breakfast and even dinner some nights, you were just so busy. Things definitely changed when you married Harvey, though.
• The day Harvey moved in, you could tell he was a force to be reckoned with. Every morning, he'd be awake before you with a full breakfast made. He'd kiss you on the forehead before guiding you to the table, making sure you ate at least a little bit before heading out for the day. He was a very concerned husband!
• Harvey would also cook dinner. Now Harvey is not the most amazing cook in the world, sometimes he'd opt for TV dinners and boxed mac and cheese. But, he'd have something for you nonetheless! And if he didn't, that just meant date night at the Saloon! Even nights where you'd come home late, he'd have a note on the counter telling you there's food in the microwave. You'll also be lectured in the morning about staying out so late.
• Harvey is so in love with you, and he really wants to make sure you're happy and healthy. Your health is most important to him. Yes, he's the doctor for the whole town, but you're the love of his life. He's going to care for his spouse the best he can. And he will take care of you for as long as you'll have him.
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oizysian · 5 months ago
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An Eggcellent Boy | Elizabeth Olsen
Summary: Y/N has a school project that she’s deemed stupid, but her partner might just change her perspective on the whole thing.
Word count: 3k
AN: Happy birthday to my number one fan! Thanks for always supporting me ❤️
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“Now, listen up, students! Today is a very important day! Today we’ll be giving each senior a sophomore to partner up with for a week to take care of your egg babies.”
A collective groan came from the crowd of high schoolers listening to the announcement. Yet another way to torture the students, I thought as I leafed through the little pamphlet they handed out.
“‘Your baby and you.’ This is so dumb.” I mumbled to myself, stuffing the leaflet into my backpack.
“When you meet with your partner, you must take care of your baby, make a plan for your baby’s care, and log it all in your journals.”
I rolled my eyes and continued to doodle in my notebook, not the slightest bit interested in the project. Who even cared about babies?
“You will meet with your partners and get your eggs today …”
As the Health teacher droned on about the specifics of the project, I zoned out. I had too many other things to worry about other than stressing over some egg. I was failing math and all I wanted was for Tom Sullivan to finally ask me out.
The bell rang and I packed up my things and got ready to head to my next class. I threw my bag over my shoulder and trudged out, nearly bumping into a group of girls walking in the other direction.
I growled under my breath and looked back at them, a blonde girl doing the same and looking back at me. I couldn’t deny the fact that she was beautiful, probably one of those preppy cheerleaders, not someone I’d ever be friends with.
I huffed and continued walking, pretending to be unbothered by the group of girls that no doubt thought they were better than me. I opened the door to my next class and took a seat in the back, not really wanting to be bothered with this class either. I just wasn’t in the mood to be in school.
I took out my notebook and started doodling again, thoroughly done with school for the day. While the English teacher spoke about Shakespeare and the complexities of his work, there was a knock at the door. An aide came in, looked down at her notes, and then called out one name.
“Y/N Y/L/N?”
I looked up from my book, hesitating before slipping my notebook into my bag and getting up and following the aide out. She was silent for a moment as we walked before clearing her throat and speaking.
“I’m taking you to meet your project partner and to get your egg.”
It took all my self control to not roll my eyes at her words. This stupid egg thing was getting out of hand.
We walked until we made it to the Health room and she opened the door for me, waiting for me to enter before entering herself. Inside was the girl I saw earlier; the preppy cheerleader. Oh, great, I thought to myself, THIS was going to be my partner?
“Y/N, this is Elizabeth, the senior that’s going to partner up with you for this project.”
“Hi.” I managed to bite out, trying to not sound as disinterested as I actually was.
“Hi!” She greeted me with a bright smile.
Goddamn her, she was beautiful and she was nice.
“Choose your egg, and follow all the guidelines in the pamphlet handed out earlier and you’ll both do fine.”
I looked from Elizabeth to the eggs, which were in cartons on the table. They were literally just … eggs. There was nothing special about them.
“You wanna choose?” I asked her and she nodded, walking over to the table and looking over the eggs before finally picking one from the back.
“What should we name him?”
I blinked at her, my eyes moving from her to the egg in her hands, and shrugged.
“I, uh, I don’t know. Why don’t you choose?”
“We should choose together. ‘Cos it’s our baby.” She said with a smile and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“How about … James?”
“James? I like it. Little James.” She gave the egg a tickle and my heart melted at the sight.
“Okay, girls, you can go now.” The Health teacher said and we walked out together, standing in the hallway awkwardly.
“I already know what we can put our baby in.” She said proudly, looking down at the egg in her hands.
“Oh yeah? What?”
“Let me take him tonight. I’ll bring him in tomorrow and then you can have him, okay?”
I looked at her for a moment before nodding.
“Alright. Do you want my number just in case James has an accident?” I teased and she nodded excitedly.
“Of course! I’ll call you if something happens.”
I sighed, waiting for her to get out a piece of paper and a pen so she could write down my number. I didn’t think she’d actually take me up on my offer.
She handed me one of her notebooks and a pen and I flipped it open to a blank page, jotting down my name and number and then handing it back to her.
“Great.” She said as she looked over the page. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N!”
She smiled at me then turned to walk away before turning back.
“When do you have lunch?”
“Fourth period.”
“Perfect, me too. I’ll see you then.”
She gave me a small wave then walked away with James, leaving me in the hallway, staring at her retreating back. What was I getting into?
The next day at school almost everyone was paired up or carrying around one of those damned eggs. I had pretty much forgotten all about it since Elizabeth had taken James - the egg. It was an egg, not a baby.
When lunch rolled around, I was pretty exhausted by my previous classes and the idea of working on this egg project. I had Health third period and all we talked about was our eggs.
I grabbed my tray of food and sat down at a table far in the back of the room. I just wasn’t in the mood to socialize.
“Hey!” A cheerful voice greeted me and I looked up to see Elizabeth with a lunchbox of sorts.
“Hey.” I greeted back, poking at my food with my plastic fork.
“I brought James.” She placed the lunchbox on the table and sat down. “You can take him tonight. He’ll be okay.”
I looked at her expectantly, blinking wordlessly.
“Where is he?”
She gently tapped the box and slid it over to me.
“You put it in a lunchbox?”
“It’s a mini cooler!”
I pulled the cooler towards myself and opened it. Inside James was nestled in what looked like a nest, surrounded by little handmade decorations. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She had put so much effort into this and I barely wanted to be bothered.
“It looks great.” I complimented it, closing the cooler over so James could keep cool.
“Thanks.” She smiled. “I thought that a cooler would be the best place for him. I’ve already heard some people had their eggs crack because they just put them in a regular old box with no cushions.”
“Guess they already failed the project.”
She nodded, placing her chin in her hand and watched me eat.
“How about we get together after school to work on our paper?”
“We’ve only had him for a day.” I said softly.
“Yeah, but we’re supposed to keep track of him every day for a week.”
“How much can we track? He’s just an egg.”
She giggled and shrugged. She probably thought this project was just as ridiculous as I did. She reached for her bag, unzipping it and pulling out the project pamphlet.
“We still have to give him a face. I figured you could do that tonight. Or we can do it after school together.”
“Together sounds nice.” Why did I say that?
Her cheeks flushed a slight pink hue and she continued to read.
“Then after the week is up, we have to reflect on the project; say if we were good parents or not, and if our feelings about the project changed from beginning to end.”
“This is so dumb.” I let out a chuckle and she nodded.
“I know, but this counts for more than half of our grade.”
I rolled my eyes and put my fork down. At least my partner wasn’t a complete idiot.
“They just want to torture us, forcing us to carry around an egg. An egg.”
“At least he can’t move.”
I nodded in agreement, tapping my fingers on the top of the cooler.
“What else do we have to do?”
“Didn’t you read the pamphlet?” She asked with a smirk and I shook my head.
“I barely even looked at it.”
She smiled and shook her head, looking over the paper in her hand.
“We also need a birth certificate. Do you wanna do that?”
“Sure.” I paused. “In that case, he needs a full name, right? I chose his first name so you can choose the middle.”
She nodded.
“Whose last name should he have? Mine or yours?”
“Why not hyphenate it?”
“That’s a good idea!” She seemed pleased.
The bell rang and she stuffed the paper back into her bag, zipping it up and putting it on her back.
“So, I’ll see you after school? We can meet by the gym.”
“Sure. I’ll see you then.”
She smiled and waved, getting up from the table and leaving. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and looked down at the cooler. Why did she have to be so nice and pretty and smart? Why was this affecting me the way it was? I was straight and she was just my partner for this stupid project.
The rest of the day went by quickly and I couldn’t wait to go home. That was, until I remembered I was going to meet Elizabeth by the gym. Shit.
I trudged over there, James in hand, and waited. It wasn’t long before I realized someone was still inside the gym and I peeked in.
Elizabeth was playing volleyball with another girl. I watched quietly as she confidently struck the ball, making the other girl run and fall trying to hit it back.
She cheered, jumping up and down as the girl got back up.
“You beat me again.” The other girl spoke and Elizabeth nodded happily.
“I have to be competitive. I have three older siblings.”
I smiled, watching her do something she clearly enjoyed and was obviously good at. After she had calmed down, she noticed me, smiling and waving as she made her way over.
“Hey, Y/N. Sorry, I got caught up in the game.”
“It’s fine,” I assured her. “I didn’t know you played.”
“Only for fun.” She looked down at the cooler in my right hand. “How was James today?”
“Good?” I was unsure if she was being serious or not. “He’s an eggcellent little angel.”
She slapped my arm playfully, giggling at my awful attempt at a joke.
“I’m gonna go get changed, I’ll be back in five minutes.”
I watched as she walked back into the gym, heading into the locker rooms. Something about her was captivating and I couldn’t deny it. She was kind, beautiful, athletic …
Wait, I was straight. Why was I getting starry eyed over a girl?
“Hey, you okay?” Elizabeth asked and I shook myself out of my head, nodding at her.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I raised up the cooler. “Wanna get started on the paper?”
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go to the library.”
“Okay,” I gestured for her to walk ahead of me. “Lead the way.”
She walked ahead of me, excitedly making her way down the hall towards the library. I watched as her hips swayed, her backpack hung low on her back, her hair tied in a loose ponytail - just every little detail had me hooked. I did not have a crush. I did not.
She looked back at me and smiled, holding the door open for me to enter first. Admittedly, I had only been in the library once or twice, and never for more than a few minutes. I walked in and waited for her, and she led me towards the back where we sat in a secluded corner.
“Okay. James.” I placed him on the table and she reached over to open his top. “What kind of face should we give you?”
“A happy face. With a blush.”
“That sounds cute.”
She dug around in her bag and pulled out a sharpie.
“Do you wanna do it?” She held out the sharpie to me.
“Sure!”
I took it from her and picked up James carefully, popping off the top, I scribbled on his face, doodling a little happy face with a blush. When I was done, I turned him around so she could see him and she covered her mouth in happiness.
“He’s beautiful!” She carefully took him from my hands and I put the cap back on the sharpie. “Our beautiful son.”
It was my turn to blush. Her words heat up my cheeks, the use of ‘our’ instead of ‘my’ really got to me. I placed the sharpie down and unzipped my backpack, pulling out some paper and a pen.
“Okay, his name. James …”
“Liam.”
“James Liam Y/L/N …” I looked at her expectantly.
“Olsen.
“Olsen. Done. He was born October 26th and his parents are Y/N Y/L/N and Elizabeth Olsen.”
She smiled and nodded excitedly.
“This is perfect. We’ll meet up every day and take notes on James and by the end of the week, we’ll be pro parents.”
We met up every single day at lunchtime and after school, dressing James, taking photos of us and James, and almost acting like a married couple. After a while, we would just talk about ourselves and we got closer and closer as each day went by.
I hated to admit it, but I was definitely developing a crush on Elizabeth. It wasn’t hard. She was perfect. Sometimes I found myself just staring at her as she spoke about her day with James or her family life or the different sporting events she was attending. I knew she couldn’t feel the same way about me, so I just fantasized and kept my feelings to myself. It was just a crush, it would pass.
We were working on our final paper when our hands touched as we both reached for the same pen. We stared at each other for a moment before giggling. I let her take it and dug around in my bag for a spare.
“Y/N?”
“Hm?” I hummed as I looked over my notes, flipping through the various pages of actual notes and just doodles.
“I think you’re really funny and really nice.”
“I think you are too.” My brain decided at that moment to malfunction, leaving that as the only response I could muster up.
She smiled and returned her attention to her paper. Did I just reject her? Was she coming onto me? I bit my lip in thought, staring down at the blank page I had flipped to.
“Must be interesting.” She teased and I snapped out of it, looking up at her confused.
“What?”
“Your paper. You’re staring so intently at it.”
I looked from her to the paper and chuckled nervously.
“Ah, yeah, that. Real riveting stuff.”
She shot me one of her dazzling smiles and I felt myself getting deeper and deeper into trouble with her.
I watched as she wrote in her notebook, her tongue pursed between her lips in concentration, her brow furrowed as she scribbled and jotted down her notes.
“Elizabeth …” I said softly, getting her attention.
She looked up at me expectantly and I froze.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?”
“N-nothing. I was just gonna ask how your paper is going.”
“It’s going okay. I’m up to the part where I have to write what I liked most about the project.”
“What did you like the most?” I was curious.
“Working with you.” She said bashfully.
My eyes shined with hope as she looked across the table at me.
“That was my favorite part too.”
“Yeah?” She asked shyly, smiling brightly.
“Yeah. I really like you, Elizabeth.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and gnawed at it gently before speaking again.
“Would you … do you wanna get ice cream? After all this?”
Did she just … ask me out? I stared at her for a moment before nodding vigorously.
“Y-yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”
She looked at the clock on the wall and sighed.
“I guess it’s time to go.”
“Already?” I whined, looking at the clock myself.
“Yeah, I know how you feel.” She chuckled as she packed her things up and I did the same, but slowly; I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.
“You can take James.” I said softly, putting my bag on my back. “I know you wanna spend time with him before they take him away.”
“I do.” She smiled and approached me.
I looked up at her and licked my lips nervously. Why was I so nervous? She put her hand on the cooler that was sitting on the table in front of me and then bent her head down, pressing her lips to mine ever so slightly.
It was shock that hit me first. I couldn’t believe it was actually happening! Forget about Tom Sullivan - I had Elizabeth Olsen.
I took her face in my hands and kissed her back, smiling when she realized I reciprocated.
We pulled away after a moment and I couldn’t stop the goofy smile that was now plastered on my face.
“I’ll see you tomorrow? After school?”
I nodded, “Definitely. After school.”
She took my hand and James and we walked out of the library. This project was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, despite my distaste for it at first.
We walked to the front of the school, hand in hand, and only parted when we had to go our separate ways.
“Tomorrow?” She asked again, nervously and I nodded.
“Tomorrow.”
I gave her a peck on the lips and she lit up, giving me one back before letting go of my hand and walking off towards where she lived. I watched her retreating back and I smiled to myself.
“All because of an egg.”
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gothamite-rambler · 2 months ago
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The only one Ivy doesn't hate in the bat-team minus Harley of course
Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn were in a botany sanctuary as Ivy worked on her latest plan to protect her plant family even if it meant death to humans, minus her girlfriend Harley. Ivy was planning to use the plants for something nefarious that she hadn’t disclosed to her girlfriend yet, but Harley didn’t mind helping her one bit.
Harley (curious): So, we just spray this stuff you made on all of them?
Ivy sprayed her favorite flower with an extra spritz of her strange fertilizer, growth serum while nodding.
Ivy: Mm-hm, that’s all I need you for, babe. After that, I’ll just say I worked alone.
Harley (simpering): You’d really do that for me?
Ivy (with no hesitation): You’re my girlfriend. Of course, I’d take the fall for you.
Harley grinned, her heart swelling with delight. That smile, however, quickly turned to tension as she pointed behind Ivy. Ivy sighed, already guessing who had shown up.
Ivy (not turning around): Hey, Batman.
Batman (disappointed): You were expecting me, and yet you’re still doing this? Why?
Ivy: I’m clinically insane and on a mission to protect Mother Gaia! Sorry I care about the planet!
Batman (angry father voice): We’ve been over this!
Ivy (turning around): Do not talk to me like I am a child! Also, hey, Nightwing!
Nightwing, standing behind Batman, smiled brightly, clearly pleased that Ivy noticed him.
Nightwing (waving): Hi, Pam!
Batman (surprised): What? Pam?!
Ivy: That’s my name, but only friends can call me that.
Batman (taken aback): Friends?!
Harley: Aww, that’s sweet.
Nightwing (agreeing with Ivy): Yeah, we're frenemies.
Ivy (smirking): Exactly. We have different ideas of being a hero and protecting the planet, but he deserves kindness. Plus, look at that handsome face! Definitely not the face of a douche canoe who stole my best friend and made her a boring good guy. I still think she’s lying about your relationship. You have minute man energy if anything.
Nightwing (raising an eyebrow): Damn, she really doesn't like you.
Batman growled angrily but he quickly refocused on the mission at hand.
Ivy (crossing her arms): Hey, Nightwing, if you’re fighting with him to defeat me, you’re free to go—but I understand if you have to do his bidding.
Nightwing sheepishly avoided eye contact from his father, who was glaring daggers at him.
Nightwing: He… he probably wants me to stay and fight.
Batman sighed in exasperation, frustrated with how well Ivy and Nightwing got along. Nightwing chuckled nervously.
Nightwing: I’m not helping her commit crimes! I just agree with a few points in her mission statement, and if there's a way to help her legally, I will help. She even gave me a pamphlet.
Batman (covering his face): Every day… I feel like I’m living in an endless nightmare with you two!
Ivy (snidely): Batman, flattery will get you nowhere.
Batman (to Ivy): How come he gets to call you Pam?
Ivy (shouting): I like him! He’s a good kid!
Nightwing beamed, clearly flattered.
Nightwing: Aww, thank you.
Batman: Oh Lord, Nightwing, sit this one out. You don’t want to get hurt by your “friend” who is evil!
Nightwing: All right! Call me if you need me to jump in or talk to Pam.
Batman (irritated): Stop calling her Pam!
Nightwing (mockingly): Nope, it bothers you, so I'm gonna keep doing it.
Nightwing walked over to where Harley was standing, who waved hello to him with her usual unintentionally terrifying grin. He sidestepped a few feet away, making Harley pout.
Ivy: Good kid. Batman, don’t be pissy, that I’m on decent terms with him. He gets me. And no, I didn’t hit him with my pollen or anything. He’s smart, and I respect him. He gets my mission like Harley does… He’s neat. He’s a neat man.
Nightwing smiled happily at the compliment.
Batman: All right, that’s what I call him! Don’t use that on him!
Ivy chuckled, clapping sarcastically.
Ivy: Aww, did I hurt the Man of Steel's feelings because his sidekick is nice? Guess you can't keep your temper in check!
Batman: That’s Superman! I just… I need a freakin’ minute!
Batman walked away, shaking his head and muttering questions about Nightwing being so close with a villain. The sanctuary suddenly felt a lot more chaotic than ever before.
Nightwing: Oddly enough, you're not the only crook who I'm frenemies with.
Ivy (shrugging): I believe you. A couple of Arkham inmates say they like you.
Harley stepped closer to Nightwing, nodding with a surprisingly normal smile for her.
Nightwing: That's nice! I'm glad that I don’t have Batman energy all the time.
Batman (calling back): Don't say that like it's an insult!
Ivy: It kind of is. You can be a headache ninety-nine percent of the time.
Harley: That one percent means she doesn't completely hate you. That's reserved for the Joker.
Nightwing covered his mouth, chuckling, while Batman kept his distance, counting to ten silently in his head to let go of the fact that Ivy saw him as less grating than the Joker.
Batman: I'm going to accept that as a compliment and focus on the mission.
Ivy: Okay, douche canoe.
Batman (whispering to himself): Not going to let her get to me.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 year ago
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The Farmer's Daughter 2
Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Walter Marshall
Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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Your dad sits in the worn-out recliner, silent as the radio buzzes on an AM station. Your mother places a glass of water next to him but he doesn't acknowledge her. You've never seen him like this. Your dad's always been lively, often talking back to the radio. But now, he's like a shell, just staring.
"The rehab nurse will come tomorrow," your mom nears, "he just needs some rest for now."
You nod and back out of the room, a grim coldness in the air despite the warmth of spring flowing in from open windows. You enter the kitchen as your mother trails after you. Without a word, she flips on the burner beneath the blackened silver kettle. You lean on the square island and trace a finger around a ring in the wood.
"Do they know how it happened?" You ask.
"A clot. They say... things like that are hard to catch," she sniffs, "but it doesn't matter now. All that matters is he's home and alive and... he's going to get better."
"I'm sorry, ma," you frown.
You cup your chin and glance over at the door. When you looked in your father's eyes, it was as if he didn't know you. He just smiled weakly then went back to staring. What happened to man who used to jump down from his tractor to the dismay of his wife?
"We'll have to figure out what to do about the planting," your mother hums and chews her thumb. She pulls her hand away and stretches out her fingers, "Timothy's done a lot but... we'll never catch up at this pace."
"I can help," you offer, "ma, we'll make it work."
"No, I need you in here," she counters, "I'll be taking care of your dad. The hospital gave me all these pamphlets; exercises and all that..." she blows out a heavy breath and flattens her palm to her forehead, "how am I going to do all this?"
"Ma, we'll all help," you offer, "it's okay. We'll be okay. Dad will be okay."
You come around the counter and offer a hug. She latches onto you and rocks you in place. As she holds you, a rumble underlines the chatter on the radio humming from the front room.
You part and look over at the open archway to the hallway. You glance at your mother and give a nod. Visitors already.
You go down to the entry way, wondering where Timothy went. He was just out on the porch fiddling with some car part or another. You open the door and lean back on a heel as Walter greets you with a nod.
"Hey, hope I'm not... imposing."
"Um, dad just got home. He's..." you peek over at the front room, "resting."
"Of course, I figured, I just wanted to drop this off," he holds up the basket in his right hand, "had some extra stuff in my pantry."
"Oh, Mr. Marshall," you accept the basket, "thank you. You didn't have to--"
"Walt," he corrects.
"Walter," your mother's voice carries through the hall as she pads up softly, "oh, Walter, how kind."
She looks at the basket as you grasp the handle and Walter lets it go, the weight nearly bowling you over. You do your best to keep it above ground level.
"Heavy," he warns too late.
"Please, come in," your mother beckons.
"I wouldn't want to disturb him," Walter puts his head down, almost meekly. "Just wanted to bring some stuff."
"No, no, please, I just put the kettle on."
"Uh, alright," he accepts reticently. "Thanks, Maddie."
"Not at all," she assures and turns to sweep back down the hall.
He steps in and bends to untie his stained tan boots. He leaves them on the mat and faces you. You give an awkward smile and take stunted steps with the weighty basket.
"Here," he swipes it back as he catches up to you, "don't hurt yourself."
You let him have it. Your arm hurts. He follows you into the kitchen and places the basket on the island as you round to the other side.
"Black tea?" Your mother offers.
"Sure," he stands sternly, arms straight, stance wide.
She takes down three cups as you languish in radio's buzz. You never said much more than a few words to Walter. Walt. He never says too much either, he was always just a sounding board for your father's yammering.
"God!" The back door swings open and hits the wall, causing you and your mother to yelp as Walter merely looks over dully. Your brother clamours in and skids to a halt.
"Timmy, the floor," your mother reproaches.
"Dang it, sorry ma," he huffs, "I just... the tractor's smoking."
"What?" You and your mother stammer in unison.
"Yeah, black shit all out the exhaust."
"I'll have a look," Walter offers.
"Oh, hey, Walter," Timothy grins dumbly.
"You're so kind, Walter, but we can get Vol down here--"Don't bother with the bill," Walter shrugs off, "I'll get my boots."
Your mother sighs and you shake your head at Timothy. She might just be right. There's no way the three of you can get the spring planting done, especially if he's going to treat the tractor like one of his dinky cars he played with as a kid.
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finchly-tintinnabulation · 2 months ago
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- Scout's Honor - Part 2
Original Ultramarine (Aristaeus) x GN!Reader
<<Prev = Next>>
Tags: Exposition (specifically about rut cycles), shameless fluff, cuddling
Thank y'all so much for the kind words on part one!! @daily-shenanigans784 performed necromancy on her blog so I can thank her for the beta reading and freak matching! I'm not entirely sure if there's a process for a tag list but for the time being just message/reply me if you want to be tagged for the next part :D
- - -
Scout Sergeant Telion had given you a brief explanation and a rather scuffed up dataslate before a brisk escort back to the serf quarters, leaving you bewildered and with an unexpected day off from your duties. At least that gave you some quality time with the pamphlet-like dataslate to piece together what your life was becoming. 
The Adeptus Astartes were designed to be the living weapons of the Emperor, blades honed and sharpened to defend his beloved mankind with unwavering loyalty. It was common knowledge amongst baseline humans that the Astartes were sterile, not engaging in romantic or sexual pursuits, but apparently the whole truth was a bit more granular. 
Bio-augmentation left Astartes in possession of their original facilities (you mused to yourself that it must be easier to relieve oneself on the battlefield that way), but with their sex drive heavily curtailed. The physical desire, the itch to be scratched with intimacy had been all but eliminated. With the exception of the rut cycle. 
A surge of hormonal activity, amplified by the trans-human processes of the creation of a space marine, resulting in regular periods of extremely amplified drive accompanied by the potential for intense bonds with baseline humans. Perhaps it was purposeful, the will of the Emperor leaving in a subconscious drive to protect those that would otherwise be seen as beneath them. However, allowing that all-consuming bond to form was where problems began. 
Bonds in the otherwise controlled workings of a space marine chapter had proved to be extremely disruptive in the past. On top of a single-minded loyalty to a bond that would distract from his duty, an Astartes separated from his ‘mate’ would exhibit extreme signs of distress. 
The Ultramarines had preventing bonds perfected into protocol, the senior Astartes’ enhanced senses quickly detecting the beginning of their cycles and preventing baseline contact until the recruits had better control and their cycles occurred much further apart. 
You had been an error. It was inconvenient, but the Ultramarines had learned to salvage these situations as well. Sergeant Telion had instructed you to remain in the serf barracks until further notice, but you would soon be moved into Brother Aristaeus’s quarters. You would accompany him to everything. Meals, training, sleeping. The part that worried you was combat. 
Yet somehow, facing the battlefield wasn’t the thing haunting your mind as you sat on your bunk. It was Aristaeus and those big brown doe eyes of his, dazed and glassy and staring right up at you. 
Undoubtedly the encounter had scared the wits out of you, but knowing that in hindsight he hadn’t been in his right mind made your chest ache. Both of you were at risk because of a stroke of misfortune and miscommunication, and if things played out poorly it could leave the pair you mind-scrubbed. Or worse. You had little to lose other than your life now, but Aristaeus was so close to becoming a battle-brother. It wasn’t fair to either of you. 
So, despite Telion’s recommendation of staying put, you found yourself creeping down the barrack halls in the dead of night, stockinged footsteps silent against the marble floors. You were no scout, but you’d made a living out of going unnoticed, so you slipped out of your quarters and through the fortress-monastery until you stood before the Astartes’s room. 
And there you stalled. Their senses were so enhanced, surely the rest of the recruits would hear you knock? Calling out seemed equally inadvisable. 
Thankfully, your angel appeared. The door slid open with a soft hydraulic hiss just as you began losing your nerve, revealing a hulking shadow lingering in the doorway, the reflective glow of eyes far above your head. 
“Brother Aristaeus, I hope I didn’t wake you.” You dipped your head in a bow, voice barely louder than your breath. “…I wanted to ensure you were well.”
“…You were concerned about me.” By the Throne, his voice… those bestial huffs and whines had done no justice to the soft, sonorous baritone that seemed to lilt like a hymn. Quiet and calm and speaking of sanctuary, for a moment you felt the illogical urge to melt into a puddle at his feet. 
“Yes.” You tried to swallow; your mouth was suddenly very dry. “The fact you’re speaking to me bodes well.”
The massive shadow stepped forward, and for a moment you were rooted to the spot, your instinct to take flight escaping you. Then you saw his eyes, warm and honey brown and clear, looking upon you with curiosity. Maybe even a touch of awe, though you were sure you were imagining it. With the caution of someone scooping a butterfly up off the ground, he gingerly gathered you into his arms and retreated into his quarters. 
“How is your neck?” You shivered at the proximity as his lips brushed against your ear, tender in a way you didn’t expect. 
“Iced it hours ago. You’re deflecting.” The door slid shut, leaving you in darkness with the exception of the dim glow of incense at the bedside and its reflection in Aristaeus’s eyes. He lingered in the center of the room, silently holding you to his chest. 
Did he not know how to respond? If he felt as afraid as you, was he not permitted to say so? Before you could give it a second thought your hand was feeling for his jaw, reaching up to bury your fingers in his hair. The effect was immediate as his shoulders slumped, taking a few wobbling steps towards his cot and sitting heavily and letting out a low trilling purr. Your other hand joined the first, experimentally stroking his clean shaven face until he took a deep, shaky breath and seemed to settle.
“Ah. I’m sorry…” Achingly soft, he bent to nose at the top of your head, his voice unsure between shuddering inhales. “I know not what came over me— that is, I didn’t expect to be so… overwhelmed. I think it’s better now.”
“Tell me. I don’t know how you feel, but you didn’t seem to be… all there.” Nails scraping lightly down his jaw, your eyes strained to try and make out his face in the dark. “I want to know.”
The tiniest whine squeezed out of the space marine’s throat, impossibly small and fragile for an angel of death. Aristaeus pressed his lips to your forehead, seeking closeness rather than a kiss, a sensation that made your chest warm.
“...I thought it had run its course. We had trained through the height of it, it was hard to wear armor with the heat and the itching but the drills helped to numb things.” He mumbled into your hair as if expecting someone to be eavesdropping. “Thought I’d gotten used to it…”
He’d been near the end of his cycle. Shit. Your stomach clenched with guilt, leaning against his solid mass and taking a steadying breath. “And then… me?”
“Mhm.” Aristaeus’s hand found yours, gently grasping your fingers to run his thumb over your knuckles, the gesture tentative and curious. “Catching your scent was— it felt like I didn’t know how long I had been walking through a desert, acclimated to the sun and the sands. You are the oasis that made me realize I was dying of thirst. It was as if I didn’t know what I needed until that moment, and then in your presence… I could hardly think.” 
“Throne, I’m so fucking sorry.” Squeezing his hand with a vicious surge of shame, you turned your face to press it against his chest, gritting your teeth. There was little a mere baseline human could do to possibly protect an Astartes, and yet you felt as though the responsibility of holding the scout’s heart in your hands was a burden you would shoulder. “I promise, you’re going to become a battle-brother. I won’t hold you back. I already know how to shoot.”
“...Okay.” He murmured, shifting back to lay on his cot with you held to him like a beloved stuffed animal. How quickly you had become accustomed to his presence would have been alarming, but there was safety being hidden away from the world, tucked against Aristaeus’s torso. 
“It’ll be fine. You’re going to do fine.” You both needed that reassurance, so you spoke partly to yourself. Although you doubted the emotional availability of a living weapon, his presence was doing more than enough for now, settling your frayed nerves. Gingerly you turned in his grip, craning upward to press a proper kiss to his cheek before settling back into his arms, to which he dutifully shifted to accommodate you.
Using his bicep like a pillow, you listened to the even waves of Aristaeus breathing you in, soaking in the warmth radiating from him like a space heater. Your robes were thin and the cot was little more than a large metal shelf bolted to the wall with a mattress pad on top… and it was the most comfortable you’d been in a long time.
Being spooned by a space marine wasn’t something you had previously imagined, and yet it was much nicer than whatever subconscious expectation had formed in the back of your mind. Perhaps power armor didn’t exactly make for the most inviting nap spot. It just felt so cozy and peaceful. Absentmindedly you ran your fingertips up and down the scout’s arm, feeling the light prickle of goosebumps as you traced veins and tendons, circling the rims of his neural ports and counting the strong thrum of his pulse. 
You weren’t sure when your eyes closed, the room already dark and absorbing you in the feeling of the body resting behind you. It was only when you jolted out of your doze did you realize it had happened at all. It was very late and you were far too comfortable to keep yourself awake like this.
“Aristaeus, I should go back to the serf quarters.” Shifting forward you attempted to prop yourself up on your elbow, and that was as far as you got before the scout’s thick arm snagged you around the middle and pulled you back to him. “I’ll be back in the morning, come on.”
Squirming had already proved to be little use, but you tried anyway, huffing and pushing at the forearm over your stomach. “Hey, I mean it. Please?” All you got in response was a whine and a brief squeeze. You sighed. “If it makes you feel better, you could walk me back to my room. How’s that?”
Aristaeus finally acquiesced, slowly and reluctantly pulling his arm back and sitting up on his cot, waiting for you to gather yourself to your feet before taking your hand to lead you through the dark and back out the door.
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planetnini · 1 year ago
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ONE — MAYBE I COULD FIX HIM ?
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with the week you're having, you don't have it in you anymore to deal with anymore bullshit and take it out on your asshole of a roommate gojo satoru (3.8k words)
content. cheating (we don’t do the cheating), named ex: hiroto, shoko is an extremely good judge of character, geto suguru the man that you are, gojo is a bit of an asshole, reader goes off at the end (rightfully so) <33
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Whoever said that if you do what you love, you'll never work another day in your life was a liar. Sure it was a well-meaning sentiment and while it filled your soul with some semblance of hope on some days, it was the main reason you were struggling with your degree and drowning in work. 
So much for dreaming big…
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” the girl questioned. The smoke from her cigarette created an odour that permeated the air as you let out a sigh, leaning back on the wall.
“That shit’s gonna kill you one day.” you muttered moving your head toward the cigarette in between her fingers as you turned your attention to the scene in front of you, waiting for her to finish.
“Make sure I have a nice funeral.” she chuckled before puffing out a cloud of smoke as she pulled the cigarette away from her mouth. When you didn't laugh at her comment, she just stared at you. Your eyes were closed and breathing a little jagged as she observed. Did you think she wouldn't notice?
Ieriri does not reveal much about herself, but everyone that was friends with her knew she was deathly loyal and cared for her friends in a unique way. She put the stick up to her mouth inhaling as she spoke, "You look like shit.” 
“You know how my afternoon lectures are.” she sighed.
She put out her cigarette in the ashtray bin and tucked her hands into her pocket. She was not at all convinced by your story. 
“Hold it Missy.” she demanded and of course your feet stopped in its tracks before her, “Tell me what’s wrong now.”
“I’ve been hearing things about Hiroto.”
You don’t think you’ve met someone that hated Hiroto more than your best friend herself. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as you mentioned your boyfriend or as she called him ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, her lips pulling into a pout. She always had a thing for the dramatics.
"What else is new? Hiroto is a scumbag."
"Ieiri!" you scolded, frowning at her choice of words. 
She scoffed with a shrug before she linked your arms in hers and started walking toward the cafe. You had no idea what she had against Hiroto. He was the most popular guy in your university, and he was the one everyone wanted to be with, but it came as a surprise when he chose you. He had eyes for you, and you couldn't understand why anyone would want you of all people so he asked you out one day and you didn't have the heart to say no. Even if you had liked him at the time, which you didn’t, you still couldn't have said no, it would have been an opportunity wasted. He wasn’t the nicest guy but you would say he treated you well so you defended him every time.
“I still don't understand what you see in him.”
You smiled faintly, “As much as you doubt him, he really does care about me."
You could tell that Ieiri didn’t approve. She never made her opinion on him a secret, and you don’t expect her to start now. 
She rolled her eyes again and sighed, "Yeah, well you should really find someone better, like a certain someone."
It was your turn to roll your eyes at the thought of who she was referring to: a certain white haired roommate of yours. 
“I hope you’re not trying to suggest who I think you are?” you stated as she gave you a sly smirk before shrugging.
“Have things with Satoru been better?”
You paused, contemplating on how to respond as you both walked into the cafe. You turned your attention to the menu as you stood in line. Your eyes scanned over the pamphlet you received when you walked in as you also looked at the assortment of baked goods and pastries. 
"I still can't quite figure him out." you muttered as you stared at some of the menu items.
Her curiosity was piqued as you said this, already knowing what she would order as she stared at you now. "What's he up to now?" she asked.
When you got to university, you opted to follow your dreams and your heart and while you looked forward to finishing your degree, reaching your dreams and goals was expensive, which was something you had known as a teen. It explained why you had to get a job that definitely does not pay minimum wage and why you had to room with Satoru Gojo, as per Ieiri’s request, just to be able to do what you love.
At first, you had thanked Ieiri for convincing the prestigious Gojo Satoru to be your roommate at the start but when he moved in, you were less than grateful.
Gojo Satoru was a scion of a wealthy and successful family making him the epitome of privilege: rich, handsome, and effortlessly at the top of his class without ever needing to study– he pretty much had everything handed to him on a silver platter. 
The first few months were turbulent, to say the least. Gojo acted like a spoiled prince, which was not surprising, always expecting things to be done for him and showing little regard for your personal space or boundaries. Arguments were frequent and inevitable but you shouldn't be complaining, he was the one paying most of the rent. 
Entitlement dripped from his every pore but then something shifted. With you trying to assert your own space and independence against his behaviour and actions, it was as though he had picked up on your growing frustration and decided to turn over a new leaf or whatever. 
It started with small gestures- he'd clean up after himself, occasionally ask if you needed anything from the store, and even helped out with chores around the apartment. These moments, though rare, caught you off guard. You couldn't help but wonder if it was all an act, a facade he put on simply because you were sharing a living space. Deep down, you were convinced that the 'nice' Gojo was just a pretence to keep the peace.
Yet, there were times when you couldn't ignore the fact that he seemed genuinely concerned about you, though these moments were fleeting– hidden beneath layers of sarcasm and his usual arrogance.
“He is just utterly unpredictable." you sighed as you put a hand over your eyes in frustration.
"Sounds like Satoru." she chuckled.
“I don’t know, it just feels like he’s nice to me because I’m friends with you.”
Shoko raised an eyebrow, a hint of concern in her eyes. "Are you saying he's being fake around you because of our friendship?"
"Yeah, sometimes it feels that way. Like he's just putting on a show."
Shoko's lips pulled into a small frown, her eyebrows knitting together, "That doesn't sound like him at all. Maybe he's just trying to be friends with you."
You had been so focused on the topic at hand, you hadn't realised you were at the front of the line.
You shrugged, "It's probably nothing.”
"Stop thinking about Satoru, you’re holding up the line." she scoffed as she smiled at the cashier.
You gave the worker an apologetic smile before turning to the person behind you, "Sorry, about that."
After ordering your favourite drink and some pastries, you approached a small table to sit. “I don’t know. I mean I guess Gojo and I are friends but still, I’m a bit suspicious.”
“I don’t think he would do something like that for my sake.”
"It just feels like you're trying to get him on my good side, I wonder why that is." you hummed with a tilt of your head, raising your brows at her.
"I think my best friend just deserves someone better." she shrugged with a pout.
"And Gojo is 'someone better'?" you scoffed.
Her hesitance was telling and you could see the gears shifting in her head, "That's like asking if apple juice is better than orange juice."
You rolled your eyes at her and looked around the café. The coffee beans alongside the soft humming of the machine, muffled speaking, jazz that played through the speakers really defined the atmosphere. Perhaps this place would become a regular study spot if they nailed just how you liked your drinks. 
“Thank you for coming with me by the way.”
“No problem.”
You had a small smile on your lips as Ieiri decided to fold the receipt she had in her hand into origami, your eyes leisurely scanned over the cafe's charming layout but then, as fate would have it, your heart suddenly felt like it had been gripped by an icy hand, causing it to skip a beat.
The cafe that once felt spacious now seemed to shrink around you, constricting your senses. Your gaze, once idly roaming the room, had fixated on an all-too-familiar figure.
There, amidst the warm, cosy ambiance of the cafe, sat Hiroto. He was not alone. He was sitting across from another girl, their faces close. A rare smile was etched across his features, who was she to be able to make him look at her like that? He had never looked at you that way… 
Maybe it was a friend?
Ieiri, perceptive as ever, noticed the abrupt change in your expression. Her eyes followed your gaze instinctively, and when she locked onto what you were seeing, her face transformed from one of carefree enjoyment to sheer disbelief and anger. 
Their smiles were flirtatious and you could feel the creeping feeling of fear settle in your bones.
They were completely engrossed in each other, oblivious to the world around them as they leaned in for a kiss. Definitely not a friend.
Ieiri was right. He was a scumbag.
Your mind couldn't quite grasp what was unfolding before your eyes, reality not even seeming real for a second.
Confrontation was the last thing on your mind. You didn't want to cause a scene, not here, not now, even if every fibre of your being screamed for justice.
Shoko's fingers tightened around her origami creation, crumpling it as her anger flared up. Her eyes locked onto the two with an intensity that could have scorched the room. 
She had always been vocal about her disdain for him, and this seemed like the perfect moment to let it all out. Without hesitation, Shoko started to push her chair back, her intention clear: she was going to confront Hiroto, give him a piece of her mind, and let the whole café know about his deceit. To berate him for everything he did to you, everything he did that you were too blind to see. You sat there in silence, your heart heavy with disbelief and betrayal but instinctively your hand reached out for hers. You shook your head ever so slightly, silently pleading with her not to make a scene.
“We can't just let him get away with this." she whispered back, her frustration growing by the minute.
Shoko's anger was palpable, and her lips quivered with the words she wanted to unleash but she respected your unspoken plea, if only for now, and reluctantly sank back into her chair waiting for your order number to be called out. Once you received the drinks and pastries, the two of you continued walking back to your shared apartment, the weight of the situation heavy on your mind as a tear slipped from your eyes. You had no goddamn appetite now.
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The evening had taken an unsettling turn for you. After returning from a troubling encounter at the café that you wished you could just forget, you found yourself back in your cosy apartment that you shared with the Satoru Gojo, the most popular boy on campus.
As you pushed off your shoes and set them by the door, you overheard some of Gojo's friends chatting in the main area. Forcing a smile, you greeted the people in the room as Ieiri followed behind you, making her presence known as she greeted them as well. You placed the bag of pastries on the table, knowing that for certain, Gojo would inhale them when he got his hands on them.
“Hey, do you have a smoke?” Geto asked Ieiri as he looked over his shoulder. Next thing you knew, Geto had moved to sit across from you at the island counter while you sipped at your glass of water, mind wandering back to your jerk of a boyfriend. “How are you?” he inquired, patiently waiting for your response.
“I’m alright, thanks,” you mumbled, trying to muster a genuine smile in response to his concern. 
Geto waved a hand in front of your face as your thoughts drifted. Suddenly, you were locked into eye contact with him. Leaning down to eye level, he asked, “You sure you’re okay? You look a bit tired,” a playful chuckle escaping his lips.
You sighed a little before shaking your head resolutely, “Just had a terrible fucking week.”
Geto chuckled, “Tell me about it.” he scoffed, commiserating with your struggles. Although he didn’t know the full story, it didn’t matter, you were seen for a second and it felt good, "I swear they have it out for us."
Ieiri was best friends with both Gojo and Geto in high school. You never really understood their dynamic at all but the brief interactions shared with Geto had been enough for you to come up with a comprehensive answer. 
Many people around had said that Geto was like the sun personified, radiating this warmth and light wherever he went. His presence had an undeniable magnetic quality, drawing people toward him but he could leave an indelible mark on anyone in his presence. It was quite possible that what was true, made you smile a little.
Gojo's friends continued their lively chatter, sharing stories and laughter and it wasn’t until you heard the tap turn on that you realised Gojo is standing right next to you drinking water aswell.
“Hey. You smoking or what? I don’t have all day, Suguru,” Shoko chimed in, her voice cutting through the conversation.
“That shit will kill you one day Suguru.” he muttered next to you.
“Funny. You said the same thing to me today.” Ieiri commented and you could feel all their gazes land on you.
“I guess we’re a lot alike.” Gojo joked and you feel yourself smile at his words as Geto and Shoko shared a look.
Geto cleared his throat, a hand coming up to your shoulder, “Things will get better, I promise.” he smiled as both he and Shoko exited the apartment for their smoke.
The atmosphere inside the apartment shifted slightly as you were left alone in the kitchen with Gojo.
“What was that about?” he spoke, regarding the comment that Geto had just made. 
You turned your attention to Gojo and shook your head dismissively, “It’s nothing.”
“You sure? You can talk to me, you know?”
“I know,” you nodded, “It’s nothing, really.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” he took another sip of his water. 
You paused for a moment, “If I knew you had guests over, I would've brought them some as well.” you stated, pointing at the pastries from the café in the bag.
Gojo raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "So those pastries are for me?" he inquired, his playful tone evident.
"Don't push it." you scoffed, your heart warming at his teasing for just a second. There is suddenly a nagging feeling that tells you he is just being nice to you due to the circumstances.
You clear your throat as you tear your gaze away from him, "Are your friends staying for dinner? If they are, I might skip."  You weren’t exactly feeling like yourself, and would rather not be spending time around people you hardly knew. You were just getting warmed up to the man next to you anyways.
“They’re not staying over. Even if they were, I don't really encourage skipping meals.” Gojo replied, his tone shifting between genuine concern and playfulness.
You can’t even force yourself to smile at his concern, you wanted to keep the discussion going, but your recent experience at the café had left you feeling on edge. "I guess I’ll see you at dinner then." you teased, your playful tone masking the underlying curiosity you had about his intentions. Did he truly want to be friends with you or was he doing it just out of pity? 
He nodded at you and you retreated back into your room to grab some clothes but the voices of his friends drifted into your ears.
“Was that Hiroto’s girlfriend?”
“Yeah.” you heard the familiar white haired boy reply.
Their conversation had been about you, and you knew it. Trying to push yourself to stop them from eavesdropping, you shook your head and continued at finding some comfortable clothes for tonight. You needed to do something to take your mind off the events from earlier.
"Wait, seriously? I thought he was dating someone else."
Their words cast a shadow over your thoughts and only amplified your bad mood. You clenched your fists, trying to push down the mixture of anger and hurt.
“I don’t know how she’s still with him.”
The weight of their judgement had hit you harder than ever, especially after what you had witnessed earlier. As you contemplated confronting them about it, you could hear the hushed murmurs growing louder, escalating your frustration as a couple of voices interject. 
“She’s kind of pathetic. Don’t you think so?”
You weren't ready to hear them belittle you any further, so you decided to retreat to the sanctuary of the shower, hoping the water would wash away the bitterness. 
You turned on the water, stepping into the shower trying to drown out the sound of their voices echoing in your head. You wished you hadn't noticed how little effort Gojo made to defend you. Perhaps you were wrong to think the two of you were friends to begin with and considering his track record, maybe you shouldn’t have been so lenient to think he was different.
As you emerged from the shower, refreshed but still vulnerable, you were in the confines of your room as you messaged Shoko about what had happened. You knew she would give her a piece of her mind when she saw him next. You laid in bed, letting out some breaths steadying your heartrate as you heard Gojo call for you from outside your door. You weren't prepared for this, not after what you just heard between him and his friends.
With your emotions still raw and your nerves on edge, you slowly opened the door to find Gojo standing there, his usual confident demeanour softened.
His presence in the dimly lit hallway was both comforting and disconcerting. You met his gaze, your eyes holding a mixture of anxiety and frustration.
Gojo's voice was gentle but laced with concern as he spoke, "I sent my friends home.”
You nodded, not even bringing it in yourself to even berate him for being an absolute asshole to you when he thought you weren’t listening.
“I noticed you've been quiet since you got home. Is everything okay? Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?"
Your emotions, a turbulent whirlwind of hurt and anger, surged within you. With a deep breath, you finally found your voice, but your words came out sharp and accusatory, "I don't appreciate it Gojo," you began, your tone wavering but determined, "I know what you and your friends say about me when you think I'm not listening."
Gojo's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"
"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about," you continued, your voice quivering with anger.
You could see Gojo's expression shift from confusion to realisation, and a pang of regret flickered in his eyes. His usually playful demeanour had vanished, replaced by a sombre and sincere expression.
"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his voice sincere but unsure of how to proceed.
You felt tears well up in your eyes replaying the pain of your boyfriend cheating on you and the callous things they said behind your back. The disappointment of his apology settled in- he’s only sorry because he got caught. 
“That was the last thing I expected from you.” you spat out. "I thought…” you let out a deep breath, your words hanging with every ounce of pain that you’d felt today. You shook your head as you continued, “I thought we were friends."
"We are." he declared, his eyes wavering now. With guilt or concern, you couldn't tell but you knew he didn't really care.
"We're not." you emphasised, still burning with the fury of all the events that transpired today. "Every day, I see you look at me with those eyes that say how pathetic you think I look."
Gojo's brow furrowed in frustration with himself. He wanted to say the right words, to offer comfort, but he struggled to find them. He stepped a little closer, his hands outstretched towards you. You stepped back, your heart pounding erratically, and he instantly retreated.
“You have no idea how much it hurts but I guess I shouldn’t have trusted you to begin with.”
Without giving him a chance to speak, you shut the door with trembling hands. You felt a thud against the door on the opposite end and you could hear him muttered a few curse words as you slid down the surface defeatedly.
His face that was etched with guilt and regret. That look was embedded in your head as you let the tears slip down your face. He gave a resigned sigh before turning away and trudging off towards the kitchen to make dinner– alone.
You stayed in your room until you heard the door to his room close after a couple hours of distracting yourself: with studying, messaging Shoko how much you hated Gojo, and cleaning your room. Retreating from your bedroom as quietly as you can, you see a plate of food he made for you wrapped up with a small post it note on your favourite drink next to it.
I know you're still mad at me, but I hope you don’t skip dinner. Eat well, you'll need the strength... ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ
You scoffed at his note, scrunching it up, putting it in your pocket. It was all just lip-service.
As you sat there alone, your eyes welled up with tears, and you could feel your composure slipping away. The weight of the day became too much to bear. Your heart ached, the hurt and betrayal coursing through you as you sobbed softly.
What a terrible fucking week.
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tags! @stsgluver @pandoraium @cottonheadedninnymugggins @satoryaa @bbyxxm @itsthemodelinme @sattosugu
notes. this is not proofread. i don't think the last half of this is as good but... we move!!! i'm sick and wanted to give back with the first chapter since i have some free time to write now <3 it gets better i promise, please comment and give me some love (or feedback), thank you :)
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aliesbienish · 7 months ago
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Set me on fire
Summary: Eloise Bridgerton x Female identifying reader
Your strong opinions have led you to many places, but none have felt as right as sitting beside a witty brunette at a women’s rights meeting.
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The dingy room, nestled above a tavern in the west end of London, was filled with many familiar faces. After almost a year of attending these bi-weekly meetings, you felt comfortable in this crowd. The mixture of gender, colour and age were comforting. Nothing like you see in your day to day life, and you were all the better for it.
A chance led you to these meetings of like-minded people. You accidentally stumbled on your valet, a sweet man around your age of one and twenty, talking about it with a maid from a few households down. Your interest was imeadiately peaked and reluctantly he divulged about the meetings he regularly attended. More convincing and he was letting you read issues of the groups pamphlets. It was world altering. Sure, you views were always rather outside of the standard norms… but knowing you weren’t alone in them was monumentos.
You quickly decided that these meetings were where you needed to be, and sneaking out with a borrowed set of clothes from one of your handmaidens became a normal occurrence. The first meeting was terrifying, feeling so out of place and underprepared. It was a shift going from believing yourself to be radical to realising how naive and conservative you are. However now you felt at home, discussing the newest issues with members that became your friends.
This meeting was your first of the year, your family had just returned from the Devon countryside for the tons new season that started a few days earlier . This year you were reluctantly debuting, despite having no desire for marriage. Your family were late to arrive, missing out on your presentation to Queen Charlotte thanks to your father being stuck in business negotiations with the neighbouring estate in Devon. You were just glad this had allowed you to have time get all your feelings out to friends at this meeting before you say something you would regret to your family, or worse the Queen.
While settling into your seat in the back row as the official meeting began you saw an unfamiliar late comer make her way into the room. The figure was a brunette girl who looked to be of similar age to yourself. She looked as you imagined you did at your first meeting, a mixture of terrified and exciting. You saw her glance at the spare seat beside you, your shawl neatly placed on it. You quickly moved it to your lap and gave her a reassuring smile.
“Thank you” she whispered as she slipped into the seat beside you.
“You’re welcome,” you whispered back, “I’m Y/N, is this your first meeting?”
“Eloise. It is, how can you tell?”
“I can sense the fear,” you joked causing a look of horror to pass across her face. “I’m kidding, I just attend regularly and have never noticed before. That and you are sporting the same expression I wore the first time. Don’t worry it will quickly change to one of awe. The speakers today are all wonderfully empowering, you’ll love it”
———————-
The meeting passed quickly, and you spent a fair chunk of time sitting side by side speaking to Eloise and answering any questions she had. You quickly realised how much you enjoyed her company, and couldn’t wait to spend some time with the witty young woman. That would have to wait until the next meeting, because unfortunately today was the day of your first ball. Your handmaidens had been poking and prodding you all day to get you ready for Lady Danbury’s ball to officially open the season. You could feel the pressure you father to be at your best behaviour, in fact it seemed to manifest in the pressure on your ribs from your corset.
All too soon you were exiting your carriage on the arms of your father, his tight grip ensuring you could not escape. The ball was in full swing, couples twirling, gaggles of women huddled together gossiping and men clearly rating the appearance of potential partners with drinks in hand. It was everything you dreaded. Your father led you in and was not so subtly pointing out all those worthy of talking to, men with titles from rich families. Eyes looked over you from all directions, raking up and down your figure. You felt like a prized cattle for sale, not a human being. You felt your heart race increase and your breath become rushed as your father introduced you to more men. Just as you thought you would be sick in the middle of the ballroom you got lost in a pair of grey eyes.
You breath calmed as you gazed into the eyes of a stunning woman standing in a gaggle of people near the refreshments. She looked almost shocked to see you, and it took a second before your realised this was the same girl from the meeting. You gave her a gentle smile. She turned to one man and two women beside her and spoke quietly to them, all four giving her a confused but agreeing nod before heading in your direction.
“Lord Y/L/N, it’s lovely to see you again,” the elder lady spoke to your father, the words accompanied by a polite bow.
“Lady Bridgerton, you likewise. This is my daughter Y/N, this is her first season.”
“Miss Y/N, lovely to make your acquaintance. This is my son Vicount Bridgerton and his lovely wife Vicountess Kate Bridgerton”
You bowed at both as they gave you polite smiles.
“Lord Y/L/N, would you allow me to accompany your daughter for a moment. I wish to introduce her to the rest of my family,” Lady Bridgerton asked. Your father nodded, knowing he had little choice unless he wanted to slight a powerful family of the Ton. You gratefully accompanied the three Bridgertons away from your father who went in the opposite direction towards some old business acquaintances.
“We are terribly sorry to bother you Miss, but my sister wanted to get to know her fellow debutant” Vicount Bridgerton said as you all headed towards the refreshments, where the said sister was waiting impatiently. “Miss Y/N, this is my sister Eloise Bridgerton.”
You smiled, happy to see Eloise again even if no one knew you two had ever meet before. She looked beautiful in her baby blue ballgown, but you couldn’t help think she looked just as good at the meeting where she could show her true personality.
“Thank you mother, siblings. I’m going to show Miss Y/N around,” Eloise said as she gently tugged your arm and led you away.
“Since when did she want to make friends?” You could hear the Vicount whisper to his just as bewildered wife.
—————
Eloise silently led you around the ballroom before sneaking outside the French doors as a large group came in. She pulled you down into the dark garden, stopping to pull you onto a bench hidden amongst the extravagant topiaries.
“Y/N, I can’t believe you’re here! I had no idea you were a member of the Ton,” She exclaimed once she was sure no one was around, giving you a tight hug.
“Unsurprisingly I don’t like speaking about it, at the moment it feels like the marriage mart goes against everything I believe in. I feel like I’m being paraded around to be sold to the highest bidder, my feelings never being taken into account” you grumbled. You grounded yourself again by looking into her eyes before whispering “It’s lovely to see you again El,”
“I’m truly sorry, you don’t deserve this. While I understand the pain of being a debutant I at least have the comfort of knowing that my family will not force upon me a marriage I don’t want. We will just have to do our best to find you a love match,”
“I appreciate that El, but I don’t think that will happen. In honesty I can’t see myself ever falling in love with a man,” you whispered baring your soul to her. You knew what her values were, and could only hope that she would support you with this secret.
“Oh,” Eloise whispered back, processing what you meant. “I truly understand”. She tentatively grabbed your hand stroking her thumb softly over your palm. While your heart broke knowing she’d be subjected to the same pain due to a cruel society you couldn’t help the hope that bubbled up.
“You feel it to right? As soon as I saw you today I felt like I could finally breath again,” you bared your soul, praying to every deity she wouldn’t run. For a moment she was silent, and you could feel your stomach drop as you tried to pull your still joined hand away in embarrassment.
“Yes, I feel it,” she finally said softly, tugging at your hand so you’d stay put. “I think I knew what it was when I first met you at the meeting, even as you teased me. The feeling was like how my mother described her first interaction with my father. I’ve been thinking about you ever since. Y/N, I know this may be improper…. but may I kiss you?”
You nodded slowly and lent in, closing your eyes as your lips gently met. Her lips were soft and silky against yours as you joined together. Neither of you fought for dominance, instead the kiss deepened instinctively your tongues dancing against each others. You could almost feel the fireworks, and you quickly realised you’d face whatever the consequences to be able to do this again and again.
Eventually you parted, both breathing heavy but with wide grins over your face. You stayed hands interlaced, side by side for as long as possible.
“Don’t worry, we’ll work something out. I won’t allow you to be separated from me.” She whispered to you as you rested your head on her shoulder.
A moment later she whispered again “do you believe in soulmates?”
FIN
Hi all, hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you think, this is my first Bridgerton imagine so writing more formal conversations was not the easiest to wrap my head around. Hopefully minimal 21st centurisms appeared in our earlier 1800s England setting.
Feel free to send in any requests, I’m particularly looking forward to writing some Reader x Benedict works as well as getting a little more *x rated* because isn’t that half the fun of Bridgerton?!
Ali x
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angelliicc · 5 months ago
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signal
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“i send you a sign, send you a signal
but it doesn't work at all”
a/n: hey guys im back again. enjoy because this is based off of a real life story to me :)
warnings: none
masterlist
| your team jumped for joy, forming a circle. “WE’RE GOING TO CHAMPIONSHIPS!!” you all exclaimed. the playoffs were a very close game, your team winning by a point yesterday. tears of joy filled the gym when you all realized you were going to the finals game.
“wanna watch the next game to see who we’re playing tomorrow?” coach asked.
“sure.” your team replied. you climbed up the bleachers sitting in the middle. you sat next to your friend, just as about it was tip off. you had no idea which schools they were. they were just yellow vs. black to you. the first half was quite boring, so you scrolled on your phone. halftime ended and it was the start of the 3rd quarter.
black was in possession of the ball until a girl from the yellow team stole it and made a wide open layup. woah. you thought to yourself. shes good. really good.
you couldnt take her eyes off of her. the way she played, her defense, her handles, her height, everything. you were admiring her from afar. you can finally see the back of her jersey. 14, williams.
you received a pamphlet of all the schools and players who were eligible to playoffs. you grabbed yours and flipped the pages quickly, looking for a williams.
“#14, ellie williams, point guard.” ellie huh? you thought to yourself.
the game eventually ended, with ellie and her school winning. meaning you were playing her tomorrow evening.
“im so scared, nervous, and excited.” you tell dina at school.
“im sure you guys will be fine! you have an undefeated season!” dina replied.
“i have a feeling we might lose. they’re really good and tall.” you said
“im sure everything will be fine, good luck tonight tho!” dina spoke
“thanks, i need it.” you joked back.
school ended at 3, the game was at 7. you had to get ready quickly since the play you were playing at wasn’t close. you brought your gym bag and water bottle and jumped into the car.
you were the first one there, with tons of emotions flowing through your body. you had a mental breakdown yesterday since you didn’t play to your expectations, which resulted into your mom scolding you. you wanted to make sure you played your best today.
more and more people arrived, parents, athletes, coaches, anyone. the gym was divided, half being in pink to support you and the others being in yellow to support your opponents.
tip off was in 5 minutes, you weren’t a starter, but you understood. your emotions were trying to get the best of you, but you tried to stop it. your coach gave you and your teammates some advice and where everyone should go, then the buzzer rang.
“on the court lets go!” the ref shouted. you sat down on the bench, watch the ball fly up in the air, then one of your teammates swinging it to your team.
“is ellie starting?” you thought to yourself. you didn’t see her on the court, but found her on the bench, watching eagerly just like you were.
2nd quarter had arrived, 15-24. you were losing. “you, go.” the co-coach told you. you got up, making sure your shoes had grip and ran on the court. you saw ellie was also playing. a foul got called against your team, so an opponent got 2 free throws. you were waiting on the 1st one.
“what are you doing? get ready!” coach scolded. when the opposing team got the rebound, coach called a timeout.
“you, take a charge on #14 if you can. shes too tall and drives fast.” coach ordered
“but who will the foul get called against?” you questioned.
“she will, shes in foul trouble.”
but before he can even explain more, reg blew the whistle, ordering everyone to get on the court. her team now had the ball. you tried your best to take a charge, but chickened out. coach subed you out. that was the only time you played.
it was a close game, but the other team started to give out towards the 4th quarter. your team took advantage of that. less than a minute left. shot clock. 52-48. your team had possession of the ball. there was 6 seconds left. ball up in the air, and it was a good. a 3 pointer made with 6 seconds left.
your team were champions. an undefeated record, the first in your schools history. you and your team gather outside to do an “undefeated” chant. all of a sudden, you see ellie in tears. you walk up to her, trying your best to comfort her. “hey, good game out there. you played good.” you said, attempting to cheer her up. all she could do was nod.
a few days later, you couldn’t stop thinking about ellie. “why can’t i get her out of my head?” you asked yourself. its like she owned your mind, and she was the only thing in it. you had no choice but to find her online, somehow.
you figured out the schools name, and decided to check the following list on it on instagram, when you see her username with a profile picture that looks exactly like her. “oh shit, its ellie. should i follow?” you ask yourself “you know what. fuck it.”
you pressed that blue follow button. next moment, your phone buzzed. she followed you back. it was like you were on cloud 9.
you went through her stories, seeing that she plays volleyball. you decided to dm her saying who you were, and that you played against her.
r: “hey, are you one of the players from the championship game?”
e: “yes, are you one of our opponents?”
r: “yup, i just wanted to say like your really fucking good i saw your semi-final game on sunday you killed it.”
e: “thank you so much omg you are rlly good too. i saw you guys play at the finals game. you are rlly good.”
r: “thank you, how long have you been playing?”
e: “7 years, wbu?”
r: “technically 2, i player when i was younger and i play now. i played volleyball for the first time this year, it was interesting.”
e: “vb is amazing. why, what happened?”
you then told her the unnecessary drama that happened at that time. it was definitely an experience.
r: “i wanna join club vb but its so expensive”
e: “fr like thousands of dollars to hit a ball over a net?”
r: “there’s a club near my city, but they want $6k”
e: “jesus, for hitting balls?”
r: “exactly! i can do it for free at my house”
you both then continued to talk about club volleyball, until you mentioned her volleyball videos. god she was amazing, you can see her going pro one day. she complimented you for your kind gesture. you both talked about how you can go against each other in the future again.
the next couple of days, you were contemplating weather or not to try out for club vb, so you texted ellie about it.
r: “hey ellie, i kinda wanna try out for volleyball. do you have any tips or what to expect?”
e: “theres gonna be passing, hitting, and serving. just keep practicing those.”
the conversation continued until it was getting late, and you both stopped responding to each other.
over the summer, you kept throwing hints to her how you liked her. you were head over heels for her, but you didn’t know if she liked you. you went complete stalker mode, looking at her reposts. you put songs on your story that reminded you of her. you replied to her stories and her notes, but she just didn’t get it.
over time, you made it to her close friends list. you felt like you won the lottery. you told dina and jesse about this crush, but they weren’t supportive.
“you can do better.” jesse commented
“first of all, what the fuck? and second, shes cute and a good baller.” you replied.
“i don’t think she likes you, sorry.” dina said. “shes friendzoning you. you’re the one always texting her first, replying to her, etc. i think you need to stop.”
“and what if i don’t?” you questioned.
“you’re gonna get your hopes up, all for nothing. don’t let her break your heart.” jesse added.
from then on, the signals you sent her died down. you didn’t text her as often as you did. you replied to her stories only rarely. you were forced to fall out of love.
i give you a glance and keep throwing hints
but you don’t understand
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im14andivebeen14foramonth · 3 months ago
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My Outsiders experience last night!!!
hey y'all sorry for how late i'm posting this 😭😭 i didn't think id be so tired but going to school and then all of that traveling to and from the show last night wore me outtt (slept until almost noon oopsies). i really wanted to post this right after the show when everything was all fresh in my mind but i just could not muster up the energy. that being said if you send any asks about certain things it'll probably revive my memory a little bit so i can give more details about it
anywho here it goes!!
Act 1
have to start off by saying this was suchhh a surreal moment when i sat down in the theater for the first time since ive been obsessed with the outsiders for years and years
one general thing that i will say is that for some reason i expected the stage to be like huge but when i saw how much smaller it was than i imagined it actually made me feel so much closer to the actors and more in the moment which i ended up loving!!!
another general note THERE WAS SO MUCH SPITTING IT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD
when i opened the pamphlet and saw that the only understudy was andre in place of renni for steve and i knew for certain that brody was there,,,,y'all i was freaking out
i was watching the left side of the theater for bordy for like a solid twenty minutes and i almot SCREAMED when i saw him walking down the aisle
the show started almost immediately after that which i didn't expect so it kind of threw me off guard but as soon as it started me and my friend were squeezing ech others hands so hard for like 30 minutes straight (side note my wrist is bruised thats how hard we were doing it)
brodys. vocals. OH MY GOD. i wasnt all that big on brody when i first found out about the musical but m mutuals have in fact swayed me and hearing him live. wow.
him sitting in the audience was so so SO cool
maybe i'm just delusional BUT me and my friend both swore that we saw brent looking right at our section at us during tulsa 67 and my heart started RACING brent i love you
the way the cars come on stage??? is so fucking cool????
did NOT know they dropped his notebook in the water my jaw dropped and the high-pitched ringing when he goes unconscious oh my goddddd
ace's "you wish" while holding her ass was so fucking funny
jason was being so playful with brent!! for the first like ten minutes of the show he was like smacking him with his towel nonstop; also during ggah you could see darry and soda arguing off to the side and darry looked sooo done (i could make a whole post dedicated to brents performance...maybe i will actually) and the way he flipped the bat in his hand was cool as hell; also do one dropped anything during the song!!!
soda and two-bit's little moment during ggah when soda sings "keeping the prettiest one on your arm" had me laughing so hard
runs in the family was so sad :(( but brents vocals were FANTASTIC live. and soda FOLD THE DAMN LAUNDRY!!!! HE GAVE YOU THE LAUNDRY BASKET FOR REASON DONT JUST DROP IT ON THE FLOOR you're making the poor boy upset >:(
jason was being sooo funny when he's on the bed with pony. he kept doing little voices and he was being super sweet too, he was playing with pony's hair and rubbing his shoulders the whole time. "544 FUCKING PAGES?!"
the flashlights in great expectations were such an amazing touch
POOR JOHNNY he looked so scared when his parents were fighting. also i will never shut up about how amazingly they use the sets, keeping the door open with the distant sound of his parents fighting was such a smart move
friday at the drive in was phenomenal live; cherry kept trying to get bob to follow her and he kept pulling away, bob looked so done with it when cherry and chet started dancing, marcia was like alll over tripp on the hood of the car and then chet and (i think?) paul were just laying all cute on the car together; plus THE DANCE BATTLE OH MY GOD???? i cant remember if it was steve or two-bit (my brain wants to say two-bit tho) but one of them started thrusting into the ground and my jaw was on the floor
i could talk to you all night...the vocals...so beyond honored to hear emma and brody get to harmonize like that right in front of me
kwp your acting HOLY HELL!!! he genuinely made me jump when he started yelling at cherry. "is there a problem here, robert?" "EAT SHIT MARCIA!"
"cherry valance" "NO SHIT!!!"
brent's anger during ritfr was sooo beyond palpable, he made me jump when he threw the bills at soda. also jason was so good at looking dejected, picking up everything and putting it back ont he table than trying to hold darry back from pony
far away from tulsa made me cry for the first time during the show!!
THE CARS AGAIN OH MY GOD!!! and the drowning scene?? the sound of pony screaming under the water??? the lights going out as bob dies and flashing before it cuts to him bloody in the fountain???? beyond phenomenal
run run brother you will always be famous to me. the boards acting as trains??? oh my god
Act 2
jft was one of the songs i was most excited to see live and it was BRILLIANT i loved the flashlights. also marcia holding back from cherry...oughhhh my heart. TWO-BITS SCREAM BROKE MY HEARTTT. and emma's opt-up!!! beautiful
general note since i don't know where to add this DAN BERRY I LOVE YOU!!!
death's at my door had me SOBBING
once again brent's anger in his fight with dally was amazing, and then the direct lead in into titt oughhhh
titt also had me sobbing by the end oh my god
the poem scene was beautiful, i was taken back to being ten years old and rewinding that scene of the movie a million times and to see it live in front of me? an honor
"ITS GOLD LOCKS AND HER UGLY SISTER!" dally was hilarious this whole scene
soda's letter...brent finishing the last line...just kill me why don't you
dally was IN johnny's face during their argument he was sooo angry i was not expecting that
when i saw pony throw the cigarette i was just kind of like "oh he threw the cigarette" and then a few seconds later i was like WAIT WAIT NOOO
THE FIREEEEEE. IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO COOL OH MY GODDDDDDD
hoods turned heros vocals were AMAZING. also darry looked so happy and proud of pony and it made me all teary
hey so. so who was going to tell me that dally carries in johnny's body like that. also he was right, johnny looked so small :(
hopeless war was DEVASTATING. that's the end.
i will forever love the lead in to trouble, the song is short but so underrated. "once a greaser always a greaser" darry marry me now
loved watching kwp and sky sneak onto the stage during the rumble
SPEAKING OF THE RUMBLE. THE FUCKING RUMBLE???? I WILL N E V E R SEE SOMETHING AS COOL AS THAT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME EVER AGAIN. THE LIGHTING?? THE RAIN?? THE SOUNDS??? THEIR FACES BEING TERRIFIED COVERED IN BLOOD??? PONY ALMOST HITTING JOHNNY THEN STOPPING????? KILL ME NOW OH MY GOD
"pony...pony...come closer" y'all i am not exaggerating that when he's in the bed, johnny sounds like a scared little boy it broke my heart. also soda calling johnny buddy hurttt me :(
when johnny died my fucking heart BROKE. ace was in the background clutching her hair and full on SOBBING. pony on the ground??? and i saw other people say that jason goes to hold pony but at least for this show he liked sat behind pony and pulled in down so that they were both like laying on the ground with pony on top of him. pony pulling away too......:(
joshua boone the fucking MAN THAT YOU ARE. little brother only made me keep crying twice as hard as before. and guys. GUYS. JOSHUA BOONE, A FULL GROWN MAN, WAS SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE BOY THE WHOLE SOG. WHENEVER HE WASN'T SINGING YOU COULD HEAR HIM AUDIBLY SOB AND HIS WHOLE FACE CRUMBLED. HE CAME AND STOOF IN FRONT OF MY AREA DURING THE BREAK IN THE SONG AND JUST CURLED IN ON HIMSELF AND STARTED SOBBING. MY HEART.
his death scene....when pony starts talking about his death and he stands in the lights of the train, pony isn't talking super loud and you could hear josh whimper and his face crumble again and he just kept doing it over and over again like he was STILL crying from the song while he was dying
the dinner scene hurt like a BITCH. one of my favorite moments int he whole show was when brent walked over to the tv to shut it off and the whole stage was just silent. it really amplified the tension
pony beating on darry's chest :( and then brent was crying so fucking hard and then JASON was crying so fucking hard. and then cherry walking in and them both tryign to act normal. speaking of cherry the voice she uses to talk to pony HURT. ME. WHEN SHE'S ABOUT TO LEAVE AND HE DOESN'T ANSWER AND SHE JUST GOES "okay." I WAS CRYINGGGG. and then another fav moment was when she leaves and her, darry and soda all say bye, they were all so quiet about it and it felt so natural
PONY. CLUTCHING THE CLOTHES. BURYING HIS FACE IN THEM??? SODA STARTING TO READ THE LETTER TO PONY???????????
stay gold. i have no words. it was fucking beautiful and i sobbed like a baby.
also like i said i could make a wholeee post just on brent, but i need to say this now. BRENT. WAS SITTING AT THAT TABLE FOR A SOLID LIKE TEN MINUTES. JUST SOBBING. he kept looking like he was trying to compose himself like sucking in big breaths, but then his lip would quiver and his face would just crumble and the tear would start up again and and AUGHHHHHHHH it hurt so so so bad
pony saying his writing probably wasn't any good. "can I read it?" DARREL CURTIS YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART!! and also soda's "am i in it :)?" and when pony says darry's in it too and darry goes "oh great." the whole crowd was laughing and then him telling pony to make sure he has great hair in the book so so funny
not enough people laughed at the green beans scene and it made me sad >:(
when pony looks at johnny during the finale...and then johnny looks at dally and they smile at each other....ohhhh my god
also when pony started singing about dally it broke my heart ESPECIALLY since i didn't know dally sings that part too
side note when it was a little ways into the finale song and darry and soda are still eating at the table, brent winked at jason and when jason turned i could see im smiling a little bit. i think it was brent's way of checking in wih jason and making sure he was okay, it was super cute tho
overall the finale song was fantasticccc
Stagedoor!!
andre came out first, he was super super sweet!!
then victor came out, he was also awesome!!!
y'all....when rj walked out i almost SCREAMED. he's the only one that i got a good pic with (its fine tho cuz my friend got pics of everyone else) but when he was signing my book he went "what's uppppp :)" and i was ready to fucking EXPLODE my heart was racing. and then my friend's mom manage to get a pic of him smiling at me with this big ass grin and i'm not even goign to lie i keep going back and looking at the picture every few hours my heart is full omg
next up was kwp and let me tell you guys...if i was fangirling over rj i dont even know what to say about me with kwp i was on another LEVEL. he is very very pretty and his voice is insanely charming when he's talking and he looked me in my eyes and i just.....yeah i'll never be normal about this
last up was josh boone and i was also geeking out so hard. he was like "what's going on :)?" and he was super nice, he made sure to get a pic with me after signing everyone's stuff around me and reassured me that he didn't forget about me like halfway through the signings he was just super super nice
okay guys this post is LONGGG but i had sooo much to say (and i still have more to say sooo...spam the inbox if you want more details bc i am MORE than happy to yap about it!!) overall i just feel so beyond honored to watch this happen live in front of me after spending years and years of my life in love with the outsiders. me and my friend are trying to go back soon and sit front row :)
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s0urw00lf · 1 year ago
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All the time
Bucky Barnes x reader
The three times you called his name. The one time he answered.
1940’s era: James Barnes
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Y/n l/n had regrettably found herself on a date with a something shed be called unladylike for saying asshole. To be fair her mother wouldn’t let her turn the man down, ready to get her married off before the war. She was currently at the movies sitting beside him as his arm draped sloppily over her shoulder and much to close to her breast for her liking all the while he continuously yelled for the movie to start. People all over the theater were ‘shhh’ing him but he didn’t care as he continued on, making y/n want to melt into her seat with embarrassment. You heard from behind you “hey, wanna show some respect?” Someone whispered. You turned around to see a small frail man, you mouthed ‘I’m sorry” and he just nodded back. Again “who cared, Just start the cartoon” he said. Y/n sighed about to get up and leave until the small man spoke up again “hey you wanna shut up?” At that point Tommy heard him and turned towards him.
Somehow you found yourself in the alleyway trying to pull Tommy off of the guy. “Tommy that’s enough” you said pulling his arm, he pushed you down hard making you hit your head on a rock and you felt the blood immediately pool down your face not fully aware of what was going on anymore, until you were pulled up softly “you okay ma’am” you were asked. “Yes, yes I’m fine he needs More help than me” you said pointing to the fight, not even looking at the man that helped you up, more focused on the blood running down your face. You soon saw Tommy walk past you and grabbed your wrist firmly “come on y/n” he said angrily. You struggled against his grip “let me go you pig” you said as you clawed at his hand trying to separate it from your wrist. He didn’t budge “let go of me you disgusting pig” you cried putting as much resistance as you could.
Tommy finally turned and gave you the worst bitch face and forcefully pushed you back as he let go. You fell to the muddy ground, and tears formed in your eyes when you looked down and seen how dirty yourself and your dress was. The two men had seen the whole interaction and rushed to help you up. “Thanks” you said not making eye contact with either as you tried to make yourself a bit more presentable even though those stains weren’t gonna come out without some stern washing. You finally looked up when the shorter man spoke “no thank you for trying to help me. I’m Steve by the way. Steve rogers” he said. You nodded “y/n l/n, wish we could’ve met on better terms” you said with a small laugh. “Steve seems to find trouble everywhere he goes. James Barnes” the other man spoke. You finally took a good look at him and you let out a gasp when you made eye contact with the bluest eyes you’ve ever seen.
He towered over you and his brunet hair only heightened his handsome features. “Oh, uh yeah I mean it happens right?” You replied trying to cover up how shocked you were at his handsome face. He smiled and nodded, making you melt a little. Suddenly you’d felt a little more self conscious. “Hey Steve, how about you go get cleaned up and I’ll walk miss y/n here home.” James says. Steve looked up at him in confusion “why, we goin somewhere?” He asked. James nodded “the future” he said smiling and handed Steve a pamphlet. Steve studied the pamphlet before nodding and making his way home with a nod to you and a pat on James’s back. James led you back to the sidewalk and you began to get dirty looks from people passing by, making you even more uncomfortable and self conscious .
James luckily noticed and started up conversation in hopes to distract you, “So, what where you doing here with, and excuse my language, an asshole like that” he asked. She sighed “my mom, she wants me married or at least in the process of getting married. She’s getting old and my pa passed some time ago, she doesn’t think I can make it on my own.” You said bitterly. You looked at him taking in his attire for the first time “you getting shipped out?” You asked. He nodded “Sargent James Barnes, shipped out to England first thing tomorrow morning” he said standing proud. You nodded lowering your head to watch your shoes as you walk feeling a bit disappointed because he and his friend were the first decent men you’d come across in all of Brooklyn.
“James Barnes”
—————
Winter soldier era
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after being let out of cyro for the first time in decades the soldier was led to a morally grey room, by the same man with round glasses shed seen before she went into the cyro. Aside from the table and two medal chairs, the room was empty much like the rest of the facility.
The only difference from the rest is there was a lingering presence in the darkest corner of the room. All she could see was the shining of something silver. She made no face, showed no sign of weakness, because she couldn’t, she’d been erased of everything. Fear included. But she stayed on high alert, ready to defend herself and her boss. “Sit” zolo demanded.
She took a stealthy seat, not making any noise as she did so, not even as her boot made contact with the ground on the other side of the chair. She stared at the man who had also taken a seat in front of her. “You have been assigned a new partner, it he has been made to match your every move as if it was your own. You fit together like a puzzle.” The man stated.
She nodded letting the man know she understood. “Step out soldat” the man demanded. At the corner of her eye she’d seen it, the smoothest movement as the figure slipped out of the darkness and into the light. “Meet the winter soldier” said zolo. She slowly turned her head meeting the steel blue eyes. ‘Barnes’ the name had echoed in her head but she was careful not to let her expression shift. She looked back to zolo only to see him eyeing the herself and the soldier carefully. She chose not to make it known. “Do we have a mission?” She asked, voice hoarse from not being used in so long.
“You do” he said and smiled his sickening smile. A file was placed in front of her, the soldier came to stand behind her so he could see, she almost felt at ease. She opened the file only to be met with a photo of a blonde haired blue eyed man. Captain ‘Steve rogers’ America. “What do you want us to do?” The man finally spoke behind her. His voice deep and hoarse as well. “Find him. Bring him alive. Beat him to the brink of death if you have to. But. Bring. Him. Alive.” He demanded. The pair nodded in understanding, before bing dismissed.
as they made their way to the jet and got stocked up on weapons and ammo the name ‘Barnes’ kept running through her head. So much so that it slipped out of her mouth.
“Barnes”
—————-
Fatws era
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The last time you’d come face to face with james it was after the thanos war, you’d lived with nat while you were figuring things out before then you’d been snapped and now you’re living close toSam’s sister Sarah, helping her out with the boys. On this particular day you had walked into Sarah’s house in search of some flour, as you had ran out some days ago, “hey sara-“ you called but stopped yourself as your eyes landed on an all to familiar shield in the hands of Sarah’s boys. “Hey where’d you-“ she began to question but the oldest shushed her and pointed to the couch. Y/ns brows furrowed as she looked only to see that all too familiar face, obviously just now waking up. She ushered the boys away, but was quick to take the shield before they slipped too far out of her reach. “Hey, I uh- i didn’t know that you were here” she said awkwardly. “I just got here yesterday. I didn’t know you lived here” he said as he sat up from his laying position. “Oh no no. I don’t live here. Like here as in this house, I’m neighbors with Sarah.” You said shaking your head.
All he did was smile at you in amusement, making your cheeks heat up. “Uh well i only came to get something, I’ll be out of here soon” you said slowly backing away into the kitchen. Helping yourself to the flower you’d initially came to get. As you passed him again, he looked lost in thought so you cleared your throat, once again catching his attention. “Uh i live next door, if you uh- ever wanna come by and talk things over” you said nervously picking at your fingers. He smiled that charming smile that had you swooning since day one and nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind” he said. You nodded and backed away from the room and out of the door you used to enter the house.
a while had gone by since your interaction with James and if you’re being honest, you are really disappointed because you were looking forward to seeing him again. You are about to pack up for bed when a knock on your door broke you out of your daydream. You went to cautious because old habits die hard, you open the door to come face-to-face with James Buchanan Barnes. “Oh, hey I wasn’t expecting you” you’d said stupidly before you could think. You were totally expecting him, hoping and praying for him to knock on your door. “If im gonna be honest i want going to. Last time we’d seen each other we left off on a kiss and a barely confessed ‘I love you’. Sam told me not to let that go again.” He said sincerely. “ Well, Sam was right. Ever the wingman, no pun intended” you said letting out a laugh, as did he. Before either of you could make another remark, Bucky rushed forward and pressed a kiss to your lips. The kiss was soft and full of longing and warmth, happiness flooded you like you just took your first drink of hot chocolate on a chilly winter morning. The two of you separated breathing heavily
“my Bucky Barnes.”
“My Y/n L/n”
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