#I was feeling down tonight

[empresskadia]

Not Everyone Survives [Blue Team| Red Team| Naomi-010]

Prompt: You didn't survive This is my treat for you all, I said, we're gonna be sad together~ I got some Red Team content for you @jackpot-library

Maybe after Cortana, it should've been easier but that was a delusional hope, John doesn't stop, John cannot stop. It's mission after mission for him, with or without Blue team. He gives himself no time to collect himself, John doesn't want to think because if he does, he'd have to accept you're gone. And if he doesn't stop, maybe somewhere, something will stop him and he might get to see his beloved partner again. There isn't a day where he doesn't hold your dog tags and run his thumb across your name or service number and he's so gently with them like it's the last piece of you he has.

For all the battles Kelly's been through, she thought she could handle this death well, especially after losing Sam and the other Spartans, but this was so different. Whenever someone says your name, she'll shuts down, and leave the room without another glance. It doesn't matter if there is an outranking officer on deck, Fred and Linda do their best to cover for her. Kelly's never fully able to let go and always makes it a point to visit your grave often, maybe if she was fast enough this would have never happened.

In his mind, it's his fault, and Fred continuously blames himself, he apologizes again and again while cradling your body until Kelly places a hand on his shoulder. Even then, Fred still feels like you're there with him. Sometimes he'll say something to you and when there's no response, he looks around for a moment before realization sinks in and he apologizes to you again, if only he would've been fast, more prepared and it's a constant cycle that claws at whatever humanity he has left.

It took hours for Linda to move as she sat with your body for a very long, letting the cloth wrap you up, that maybe, you were just asleep under the sheet. For once in her life, she doesn't have the courage, she had held you while you died and it took all her strength. Linda was quiet before but now she only spoke when necessary, and even then, using hand signals more often than not. She always keeps a reminder of you with her, not that she could ever forget, she never would do you the dishonor. It's just a way to keep your memory alive and every shot she makes from then on out is for her partner.

There is a single threat that snapped in Jerome's mind when he witnessed the life drain out of his partner. He held you till the end while you bled out, unable to stop the inevitable no matter how hard he tried, it wasn't enough, he wasn't enough to stop this. And the only answer that's clear in his head is revenge. He will not rest until everyone involved is dealt with and suffers the same fate as his beloved. His partner was the most precious thing to him, and now you were gone, so why shouldn't there be repercussions? Why shouldn't someone pay?

It's hard for Douglas to go on without you, every time he sees someone that even remotely resembles his partner or an object that remembers him of you, his heart stops for a second. He'll visit your grave often with flowers he personally collected and sits there for a long time before telling you about recent missions. He doesn't want his partner to feel lonely, so if no one needs him, that's where the other Spartans can find him. Douglas often tells himself he can handle this, that he has to for your sake because you would be so upset with him if he didn't.

To everyone's surprise, Alice refuses to accept it for the longest time, she saves a seat for you everywhere, even making comments about how she'll tell you about this mission later. No one dares correct her, she wouldn't forgive them. Any weapons her partner may have owned are cared for because she wants them to be perfect for your next use and no one else is allowed to use it. She can't process her grief, this wasn't a challenge, and this wasn't something she could fix, sooner than later her grief turns into anger and Alice can only take it out on the field, littering the ground with her enemies.

Missing her partner hurts like hell; Naomi finally understands the phrase 'a broken heart', it's a wound that will never heal, it's a hole in her chest that will never be content again. And she can only circle back to her thoughts of how lonely you must've felt, that she hadn't been there to die with you or even hold you against her while the light faded from your eyes. Naomi had always been surrounded by death but never believed it could take her partner till she saw your body and could never bring herself to quite look at the stars the same way again. Her star in the sky was no longer there. There is no amount of cheering up that BB or Mal or Vaz can do to bring her back, but she tries to find her partner in the little things, in the breeze kissing her face, in the water dancing against her skin but Naomi misses you and wants her partner back.

[slavhew]

hm

[hinamie]

itafushi nation how r we Feeling!!!!!!!!!!!

[fumifooms]

I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after

The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually

Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-

He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.

And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.

When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings

"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.

It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)

"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[pansyfemme]

i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess

[lovecolibri]

The growth from K saying her and Evan didn't work out because it's hard telling and showing someone how much you love them and having them not believe you, to seeing Evan a couple years after that breakup tell Sam that it was an unfair assumption of him to make that she wasn't being sincere and genuine in her kindness to him, and that he used to think love would fix things but that alone isn't enough and he does need to work on himself and accepting the love his friends give to him.

And even then!! The growth isn't done because he's still trying to adjust HIMSELF into making sense in other people's lives, instead of adjusting his THINKING to accept the love freely given, which Sam reminds him of. It's just so beautiful to see the journey and it's not complete yet, Evan still has some work to do, but he's not doing it alone and it will ultimately be so healing for him 😭😭😭

[xoxoemynn]

I came up with the idea for today's love fest over the weekend when I saw a lot of comments from people expressing sadness about the cancellation, and then also some embarrassment for feeling that way, or feeling alone in their emotions. I wanted to do something positive that felt personal and that would remind people that fandom isn't going anywhere.

Originally I thought to do it a few days after the WJW with DJenks, figuring we'd need another boost after that high wore off. Obviously the WJW didn't end up happening, but then I realized it was Rhys' birthday today, so that also felt like a great reason to spread a bit of love (not that you ever need a reason for that!).

And honestly, while the whole point was to make other people smile, the whole experience really boosted my own spirits tremendously. While stalking perusing everyone's blogs for inspo, I was reminded quite powerfully just how many extremely kind, talented, smart, funny, insightful, beautiful people there are in this fandom.

So I just want to say thank you. All of you who create gifs, make art, write fic, analyze the show, share shit posts, or reblog all of the above so we can see it again and again and again, you have made a difference in my fandom experience. With every post, you made me fall in love with Ed and Stede and the whole crew just a little bit more. Whether you're someone who's always in the tags or someone who prefers to quietly reblog, you have made my time here very special and I'm so grateful. 💕

[waterfallofspace]

tonight on 'the simplest things can drive a person feral'

Any variation on 'nose twitching'. Just the mental image of a nose, so desperately itchy that it can't help moving. A tickle so deep that, even without any outside interference, it just has to move.

It quivers, vibrates, flares, twitches, yearning for any form of relief. Maybe it's squished against an entire palm, feeling the hot breath against the skin. Or perhaps a single finger is brought up, trying to coax out an end to this ordeal

But it's just so sensitive, and when the hands are dropped once more, the nose is left to fend for itself against the waves of irritation, helplessly twitching once more~

Bonus points for the bearer of said nose experiencing any thoughts/feelings about how noticeably their nose is twitching~ Maybe embarrassment that everyone can tell, or a lighter humour that it 'has a mind of it's own'~

[citricacidprince]

You’ve heard of “She would NOT be a mother” now get ready for its sequel “He would ABSOLUTELY be a father”

[dandelion-roots]

[ID: a digital drawing of chuuya and dazai from bungou stray dogs. in the main image, dazai is sitting on a metal counter in a nurse's office, his arms behind him to support him and knees spread so that chuuya can clean his wounds. he has bandages and scars on his arms and bare torso and is wearing white pants and white shoes. with a bored expression he says, hurry up. chuuya, who's opening a green bottle and is standing in front of the counter, shouts, wait a fucking minute, asshole, i'm not your damn nurse! in a smaller follow-up panel dazai shouts, you shot me! and chuuya is looking away while sweating and shouting back, you were being a shit. end ID]

the price of engaging in homoeroticism via shooting you 'old friend' THREE FUCKING TIMES more than necessary is, um... *checks notes* having to patch him up five minutes later whilst staring at his bare chest and then having to set his leg, thus literally putting him back on his feet to do his dramatic victory reveal??? this can't be right who wrote this

[smilesrobotlover]

He’s watching his grandchildren doing stupid things

[3416]

Mitch Marner Media Availability | 01.20.24

[feroluce]

So this ficlet-ish thing was inspired by @hydrachea, nsfw super genius extraordinaire, but also by the fact that in addition to Boothill's left eye being cybernetic, I like to hc even the parts of him that look human aren't fully natural. I mean the dude eats bullets, after all. I think he should also have vents in his mouth so he can literally blow smoke/steam, it would look super cool. Think Father Gascoigne or Studio BONES' Todoroki. We as a fandom deserve that!!

So anyway, of course, sometimes these vents get blocked up and need to be cleaned manually. Thankfully, Dan Heng is super helpful ☆

Like there's one day where Boothill is lazing around in the archives, fresh off a bounty and happily soaking up the luxury of the Astral Express after however long he's spent tracking his prey through all the dust and dirt with almost no rest.

Boothill likes it in the archives. It's not silent, but it's quiet. There's no music and only muffled voices from outside, but there's the hum of all the computer systems. It makes for a nice place to hide away and recharge when he's just finished exhausting himself.

And besides, Dan Heng is there.

Sometimes the two of them talk back and forth, but today it's mostly quiet...except for-

"I didn't know it was possible for you to get sick."

...Except for Boothill having to constantly clear his throat. That's the thing about your mark trying to flee into the desert. You either go after them and get sand everywhere (and even worse, sticky sand once it gets all bloody) or you wuss out and lose out on the bounty. Personally, Boothill likes being able to afford to eat.

"Grit's stuck in a vent somewhere, 'n' the usual maintenance ain't gettin' it. I'll prob'ly have ta manually dig it out." But later, when he's not laid out half asleep on Dan Heng's extra futon. Usually after a chase as long as this one took, he can shut down for almost a full day. He doesn't want to get up yet.

Something shadows over him, and reflex demands Boothill's eye open. Dan Heng steps around him on his way to some drawer built in the wall on the other side of the room or something. Boothill closes his eye again.

From under his hat he hears the sounds of rummaging, drawers sliding open and shut, the swish of a long coat. The shadow returns.

"Sit up, just momentarily. I have something to help." And Boothill groans a tired don't wanna, but he does it anyway, he hauls himself upright into a kneel. And then he sits up a little straighter because he realizes Dan Heng is standing right over him.

Dan Heng tells him "open your mouth," and Boothill's jaw pops open without his permission, without even a second thought, and hey, what protocol in there ok'd THAT?!?!

Before he can really unpack whatever the heck that just was, though, Dan Heng murmurs for him to say so if he needs them to stop, and then he's sliding a long, hard rod down Boothill's throat, tipped with some soft little brush he probably uses for all his fancy archival equipment.

Dan Heng tells him the handle of the brush is straight and can't be bent, he needs to move his head to be able to reach the vent in his throat. Boothill hums affirmatively; he can't do anything else with his mouth occupied.

Dan Heng's free hand holds him by his jaw, tilts it up slowly but firmly so he has to look straight up at him.

Boothill feels dizzy.

The cycle of blue blood through his artificial heart whirrs just a bit faster, his temperature sensor pings an internal alarm to warn for imminent overheating. Boothill curls his fingers into the guard over his knee as Dan Heng carefully brushes at the dust irritating him. All other sounds- the hum of running equipment, the occasional beep from the computers, the noise of the crew outside of this room- seem to pull away, until all Boothill can focus on is the steady and measured breathing from the man above him.

"Almost done."

Thank the aeons, maybe one of them likes him after all.

"Your tongue is in the way... I'm going to hold it down, ok?"

Nevermind.

The fingers holding his jaw curl around his chin, thumb slipping past open lips to dip into his mouth and pin down his tongue. One of his teeth catch on the digit, breaking skin just enough to bleed a drop where he can taste it. Dan Heng doesn't even flinch. Another temperature alarm pings off in his brain, then another, then another.

Boothill has never been shy about eye contact but oh, god, it nearly kills him when dull green irises flick away from their task and look down right at him as his mouth is held open. He quickly squeezes his own eye shut for some relief.

With his vision cut off, the rest of his senses automatically recalibrate to compensate. He can hear every breath even more distinctly now, every soft inhale and exhale, feel the strain in his neck, the softness of the brush, the hard floor beneath his knees, the hand holding his jaw and the fingerprints that feel like they should leave burns in his skin, the taste of Dan Heng heavy on his tongue-

Forget it, eye open, eye open!!

"Alright. There's one last pebble stuck."

Boothill had been trained to endure torture, back on his homeworld. It was part of being in a gang, part of being a bounty hunter.

Somehow, keeping himself quiet and still as Dan Heng inches the brush even further down the back of his throat is a profoundly similar experience.

The seconds tick by, Dan Heng's brow furrowing, face growing ever more concentrated and Boothill struggles not to watch him too closely, fights down the noise that suddenly tries to escape him as the brush withdraws-

"Swallow."

Stars and aeons, Dan Heng is going to be the death of him.

Boothill swallows. He feels it when the movement finally dislodges the loosened pebble from his vent.

His face feels shockingly cold now bereft of touch, even though Dan Heng's hands are always cool. He asks to see, and Boothill's mouth is already open again to show him, even as he belatedly realizes he could have just told him it had worked.

"Good." There's the slightest smile on Dan Heng's lips as he finally, mercifully, leans back out of his personal space, goes to put away the brush. "That should feel better now." Boothill spends a moment dizzy and dazed, feeling the need to blink spots out of his eye even though his vision is clear. He still hasn't moved off his knees.

What the fudge.

[royalarchivist]

Today's event made me nostalgic, so here are some highlights from the day Roier met Bobby, and some of their first interactions before Bobby was officially adopted.

[princess-kittyxoxo]

Get in besties, we're sexualizing ourselves on the internet to avoid the crushing weight and sadness of being the perpetually single friend ✌🏽