#I was 13 and annoying all my friends
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I will forever love the Step up movies, sick choreographies, sexy people, vibes and the power of friendship; like what’s not to like
#step up#leen talking for nothing#leen sharing her opinions unprompted#step up miami you will always be my comfort movie#leen what’s your fav movie#me lying: idk☺️#the truth??? step up miami#the very first scene is stuck in my head#I was 13 and annoying all my friends
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just wanted to say ur smiley tim post made me very happy and i keep thinking about it even days later. you draw tim so good 😭
thank you!!!! i feel like i tend to draw tim looking serious and angsty but 90s robin tim—though also definitely going through it—was perky and snarky and painfully young and that's what i wanted to draw!! more tim smiling!! so im glad that made you happy :)
#me sending screenshots of smol tim from his earlier appearances to my friend: look at the BEAN#like he's actually so small compared to the other bat folk#and there are lots of comments about the fact that he's still growing#asks#ngl i did not expect the response i got to smiling tim at all#also sdfasdfas i was doing my best to convey annoying but sweet 13 yr old boy energy#which i guess i succeeded at bc that /is/ a baby
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GUYS LOOK AT HIM
instagram
#is it clear i have a type#the glasses nerdy looking guy#omg search up loren dean from the apollo 13 movie#NOT NOW NOT ANYMORE#NOW HES OLD AND EW#but we watched that movie once for school and 🤭#plus all my crushes have had glasses#jacob did#liam did#and my friend who i kinda think is cute#but dont quite have a crush on?#idk yet#but so does he#im gen just rewatching this video over and over#eunoia annoys '♡'
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#writing#poetry#2022#October 2022#october 13 2022#You’re Kind of an Idiot#yeah i still like this one#I think i specifically trying to imitate Richard Sikken with the funky formating and view changes or however you call it#the context was I convinced my friends to add me to this group chat that had all this people they were friends that I didn’t know#(I did know half of them tho)#and like this wasnt a decision made by the group chat but just the three in it i had lunch with#originally it was a joke i wasnt in it but then i got them to add me#I thought i might get kicked out by one of the people who didn’t know me once they realized this random guy was in the gc#but i ended up fitting it really well and especially got along with the guy i was most intimidated by#there was a discord server that was the REAL gc and wasnt in it#but there was a vote (using discord emote reacts) for if i was gonna be added or not#I didn’t know how to see who did what react on discord at the time so it was anonymous to me at first#the ones who voted no where ones i knew and they totally did it jokingly but i was afraid i was being too annoying and karen esc about it#anyways i got voted and everything went well#the server and group chat eventually got deleted due to drama to do this this girl who was only there cause she was this one guy’s gf#(She fucking sucked btw. like she was a white girl who made racism jokes. thats the kind of person she was)#(fun fact her and the guy she dated straight up met in a psych ward after he tried to kill himself)#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rsd
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spoilers for the latest dungeon meshi ep but oh my GODDD i love marcille my pobrecita.. i think ryoko kui wrote sexism's effects on marcille really well, i think it's neat how she's a silly little guy and other people kind of underestimate her and it seems she is often down on herself about her failures or, "burdening" others in a way that feels very authentic to how it feels to be a woman and have that extra pressure of perfection to dispell suspicions of your inferiority. it's just very much the feeling i gather from it which makes marcille so relatable. and then to put another layer on it when it came out that she did black magic, she's literally A Bad Ass she is LITERALLY a Badass which makes her doubt of herself even more starkly inappropriate, and in this new episode despite the Fact that she is A Bad Ass when everyone's being a BIG MEANIE to her she's like a sad puppy when people don't let her help with revivals and like idk if i missed something but she doesn't even push back against them saying they're going to turn her in in like, a threatening way, she is just... scared. which hurt me i just wanted everyone stop being so MEAN TO HERRR my POBRECITAAAA. MY TINY LITTLE BABYY
i also laughed a lot and freaked out catching up on the two latest episodes today. DEVASTATING miscalculation on chilchuck's part to protect senshi when laois has No sense of Social cue. really happy to see laois and kabru meet, they're really funny together and i see why people like them so much as a ship now!! i am ECSTATIC that shuro is out of the game in terms of ehem. courting falin. bro COULDN'T HACK IT gEDDEM marcille. get that red dragon lady.. and omg it made me SOOOO MAD that they tried to blame marcille for that like how could that even b her fault!!! >:((( its obv the mad mage's doing. i dont get it they r just big meanies!!! stop shitting on my girl!!!
i like how kabru is like laios if he had more social awareness and was a litle Conniving... and omfg i thought it was so funny and sweet how shuro and laios just fucking beat each other up 😭 shuro said i hate autistic ppl fr. no but im glad he showed up for laios & co. in the end.. sometimes you just gotta talk ur feelings out over a fistfight lol
it was soo so fun seeing everyone interact .. all these fun characters... i cant wait to see what happens next!!! i love this show literally one of my fav animes EVER now definitely its so good its SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!! im terrified not knowing when its gonna end and how im gonna cope when the season ends 🗿 methinks i will have to read the manga instantly after or i will go insane from dungeon meshi withdrawal..
#dungeon meshi spoilers#this is totally just me rambling this show makes me so happyyyy#i usually hate rewatching stuff but idk if i just want to take everything or what#but i had a process of watching it like. rewatch old ep then watch new ep#and i also rewatched it all around ep 13 or something#but i think im going to rewatch it again just because I love ... so much..#is so good... need dunmeshi ..#i also need to develop my senshi tulpa more so my life is less disastrous#at least in terms of food and sleep#i slept until 7pm and then ate 3meals in a row so -_- need that senshi tulpa#lol the way laios did the im stronger than u thing but listed his food and sleep sched. as the reason 😭😭😭😭 beautiful . so beautiful#it makes me SAD that they tried to kill falin but realistically what else could they do.. i just dont want laios think monsters r all bad#or the rest of the crew. anymore...#may b theyre just friends and its the mad mages fault :((#and then kabru was like u have to kill orcs and im like NOOOOOOOOOo dont DO THAT#i was so SHOCOKED. SHOCKEKD when so many ppl were wiped out by falin. literally crazy sauce. broooo#i wuv dungeomeshi so much......#also i just have to say that shuro n laios fight? p gay...ngl#laios n falin r so similar its just falin is um. well better at masking#the Autism Twins (insert flame font(#its like i think shuro's feelings r genuine n not shallow for falin but i also dont think he knows her as well as he thinks.#i mean apparently he is Poor at connecting with others#love those guys. silly guys. the lot of em#chilchuck's being mad at marcile for black magic is a lot less annoying 2 me now that i know. other ppls react WAYYY worse#wuv em
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The sleepover scene always breaks my heart 😭 literally me at 12
#ik Marcy was being like annoying and talking about shit anne and sasha didn't care about#but it still hurts when sasha tells her to her face that she doesn't care 😭😭#i remember being told all the time that I shouldn't talk about things other people don't care about#or about uncommon interests#so I started to lie about the things I liked. whenever someone asked me what music I liked I said ''anything'' as if I didn't stay up at#4 am reading obscure lore from a conceptual album about a family of necromancers in 19th century north america written by a florida man#same with books and movies and all i just said I watched disney channel or something#even if my true obsession was stephen king or communist literature or just. late night wikipedia rabbit holes#like on time you learn to stop talking about people irl about your stuff and put it alllll on a tumblr blog#but at 13 you're so embarrassingly passionate and excited that you can't keep your mouth shut#and you're humilliating yourself and commiting social suicide because it takes you just a little bit longer than your pears to learn how to#act normal and read the room and stuff#wow marcy really do be like me fr#my posts#oh well that's what college is for thankfully! you get to be surrounded by people who share at least one (1) obsession with you now!#so you can make friends and meet up and just yap yap yap about mid century criticism of linguistic relativism#or functional-structuralist analysis of myths#i still do wanna find friends to talk about dragons about tho
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You know. I'm part of the fraction "to each their own and let people handle their lives however they see best fit". But I do feel the need to say that I have seldom seen such an idiotic assumption as that breaking up with someone four days before someone's birthday when you also want that someone to do something for their birthday even though you know you and your soon-to-be-ex will both have to be there won't end with that person just not doing anything with anyone for their birthday. Partially because nobody wants that kind of awkwardness after a fresh breakup and also because the soon-to-be-ex has the lovely habit of wallowing in self pity and making everything about how they have it so bad. You know I just think in such cases you should've waited a week with the breakup. I don't care how much you want to fuck that other guy but I really think you should've waited a week.
#delete later#sigh why always me...#can't somdone else get the complicated people for once#annoying#the soon-to-be-ex complained today in the group chat that nobody wouod ever go to a pub with him#when that is literally not the case#we would all go? he just never asked? and anytime someone else wants to go party or jusz out 90% of the time the answer is no?#I've known that guy for 13 years now and somehow it just does not get easier#like? anytime someone else asks him it's always “no i don't want to” but then you complain about how nobody would want to do anything#the call coming from inside the house is all I'm saying#'' oh but I couldn't go anyways I wouldn't fit“ ''why? nobody cares about random strangers thats usually not how people work''#'' thats not true'' ''they literally don't care though.'' ''not when that person looks 13'' ''yeah no they still literally wouldn't care''#''they would'' ''they wouldn't. people never do. why would they make an exception for you?'' and then no answer to that#because you can't argue against that anymore without having to confront the fact you're wrong#but then I'm getting told im not empathetic enough#i know i lack empathy I'm aware but I do make an attempt for serious situations. i just don't think stuff like that is serious.#especially when i once mentioend i think my father thinks I'll end up living off of state wellfare and become a disappointment#and the only reply to that was ''how did he arrive at that really likely assumption?'' my brother in christ do not complain to me about lack#of empathy I'm not the one telling people their fears of becoming the family disappointment are well founded and realistic#I'm not even going to excuse that through some ''oh autism'' stuff like no thats just tactless and mean#or all the condescending comments whenever i go out to ''party''#it's just drinking with some people i know it's not really partying#but I'm not the one looking down on people for experiencing stuff#contrary to popular assumption I'm actually really cool and i know that. that's why people ask me to do stuff with them.#because i don't say no 99% of the time and then complain that nobody would ever want to do something with me when that's just plain wrong#i also totally get why she wants to break up#how do you actively refuse to meet your partners friends for half a year and expect that to not become an issue.#how do you actively say you're not interested in doing anything for your partner and expect that to last#how do you whine about being a bad partner but never attempt to do better#i wish i could defend him here but i can't that dude is a horrible boyfriend
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🫶
#I’m getting hit with a massive wave of nostalgia now#I remember staying up ALL NIGHT working on changing my theme#I used to play in the html and add things#I looooved adding falling snow during the winter#I remember when having a music player at the top or somewhere on your blog was super popular#but ended up being incredibly annoying#cause half of the people put it on autoplay so when you entered someone’s blog you would get blown away by music#I remember having a whole different page for an about me#I wonder if I still have that up on mine#broooo I haven’t looked at my blog page on a laptop or anything in fucking AGES#I’m embarrassed to think what it might look like but whatever#most of us are using mobile anyway#or at least in my mind we are hahaha#so when I first started a blog I think I was in middle school??? like 12 or 13 hahahaha good times#my first url was SO CRINGE and I’m not going to say it cause I’m 😬😬😬😬😬 when I think about it#and then I slowly got more of a following and started doing smoke videos#I miss that community too :(#making smoke videos and tagging a bunch of stoner mutuals to ‘pass the bong/joint’#and then they would make a video and tag me#awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhh#I haven’t logged into that tumblr in AGES omg#but then I decided to post content and I didn’t want to post it on my original blog in case it got flagged or anything#so I made this blog#and here we are 🥰#but man I have SO many memories from my last blog#i made a friend in Belgium and we sent presents back and forth#I think only once but maybe twice#I still have the bracelet she sent me#can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr for most of my life lmao#but I’ve met SO many amazing people that I would have never have met
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#so I had managed to convince myself that I was annoying one of the friends i made#by being very dumb on the assignment we were working on together#and also generally being a bit clingy with him as he is the first friend I made here#today he skipped morning class (10-13) but he still came in towards the end#to chat with me and have lunch together#seeing as he skipped morning class his first class is at 17.00 he could've stayed home#we ate and chatted for an hour and a half until my next class started#if you're annoyed by someone you wouldn't. do that. there's no way#so i am. very happy. but we're definitely not close enough for me to tell him all of the above so I'm just writing it here lol
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aksndbdhdhdhhd
#watch me fuckin scream lmfao bro#i’m on a trip sorta to a conference thing that my dad has kinda made me and my brother go to lol and#we’re sharing airbnb and ig the whole trip w a few ppl he knows that i don’t know at all#and i have to room w this 13 yr old girl in like not even a full bed 😭#and like it’s partly a lot funny bc why am i so scared of this situation lmfaooooo like i’m absolutely more scared of her than she is of me#i keep thinking of that john m/uIaney bit abt 13 yr olds or whatever being the meanest ppl in the world LOL#she’s not mean afaik i’ve barely talked to her bc i am a fully functioning twenty fucking one year old 🤩💀#idk bro i had a trip earlier this yr where like i could’ve shared a double bed w one of my best friends but we found out the sofa was a#sofa bed so we didn’t and i was highkey relieved jfchdhdhdbh#but here we are also apparently after we get back from this i have to share a bed at home w another near stranger who’s staying w us 🥳#like it’s not that big of a deal i feel like i’m not super uncomfortable or anything i just feel like whining and i don’t want to do it#lmfaooooo 😭😭😭#anyway 🫡#it’s fine everything’s fine im just getting kinda annoyed on this trip by the two other strangers my dad knows#who idk are fine they’re fine i just wasn’t expecting any of it 😭 and i don’t like#new ppl apparently DNBCFJSBCHXNDB anyway#🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 <- waow it’s me#jeanne talks#but bro sharing a bed isn’t gonna make me alr not super great at falling asleep in new places fall asleep easier 🤩#and we have to be up early lol not that that’s usually a problem for me anyway#rly the point is i just rly wanna whine and complain <3#it’s rly not that serious#so sorry LOL 🤡🧍🏻♀️ ok lemme go to sleep bc i am actually tired sndbchhdjdhc
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Not to bring up SDS but whenever I imagine Duke raised by Gnomon, it’s him with an Escanor type personality and the power to back it up
#i HEARD of Gnomon before I actually read through dukes comics#so I know I was wrong Abt what he was before but I still like it#Duke to me is THE personification of light#like Gnomon and Duke are like the opposites of Trigon and Raven#which is why I like the idea of them training together or fighting or smth idk#the parallels that I completely made the fuck up are so good <3#in Duke raised by Gnomon AU he and Damian would be friends but terrible for eachother#like they each fuel the others superiority complex and divine right to rule thing#so like…they CANNOT be friends pre or during redemption#they will absolutely throw eachother back into toxic thinking immediately#now if one of them is POST redemption or if both of them are that’s a different story#i think it’s funny bc in my au Duke would adopt gnomons superiority thing in a way raven didn’t#so he’d be like my dads better than yours and HES gonna conquer all the multiverses 🤭#and shes like ok…#in this au raven is actively pushing Duke towards a better path bc she gets it#but also hes SOOO annoying god shut upppp#the batfam exists or whatever but raven trying to wrangle Duke who’s dragging Damian along is just#she has them on kiddie leashes and they wail at the injustice of it all#my explanation for how she knows them is#Duke was raised by gnomon but some otherworldly shit happened and he ended up with his mom at like…12-13 let’s say#and so as of NOW at like 15 he has some morals and empathy but it’s hard and when gnomon comes knocking he’ll be waiting#then joker thing happens and he gets such a shock bc for all his power he couldn’t do shit about it#and the parents that had hope in him that loved him unconditionally are gone#ends up with Bruce idc if it doesn’t make sense it’s whatever#meets Damian they make eachother worse Dick sees this and is like urethra 💡🙂#and BEGS raven for tips and she’s like yeah I’ll help the youth become better people 😌#she promptly reconsiders her stance on violence and considers homicide everyday but they WILL get better she’s committed now#duke thomas#raven#Damian wayne
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yvie is my daughter and i love her i truly do but she lowkey. okay. maybe highkey. aint shit actually like this girl is MANY MANYYYY things but a consistently good friend just can’t be one of them 😭
#like i’m crying bc#aside from the fact that she hooked up w liv behind chad’s back#n essentially STOLE his gf from him#while he’s her best friend#guess how her n chad even became besties to begin w??#she was MINDYS best friend all thru elementary school. then they got to be abt 12/13#and yvie was like actually girl you have gotten very annoying#let me go kick it w ur twin brother instead#n ts just went from there 😭#like what is it w the yvie urge to be good friends w one of the twins for like years#then wake up one morning and be like ykw. im gonna ruin this actually#lord she her fathers daughter fr. actually the whole dad mess does factor into this AOKDWKKDKW#igggg shes never done wrong by like. tara or wes or amber#but as a BEST friend. lord. i would not put my faith in that girl 😭#— ♡ 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵‚ 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 (𝘪 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵) // yvie romero.#— slasherverse posting.
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percy: im passing the phone to someone who literally gave me grey hair after getting herself kidnapped at the ripe age of 13 making me go get her
annabeth:…im passing the phone to someone who got kidnapped and went missing for 7 months at the RIPE AGE of 16 and now has to wear an air tag on his camp necklace so he doesn’t get lost
percy:……im passing the phone to someone with abandonment issues
annabeth:…….im passing the phone to someone who uses humor to deal with the extreme trauma he lived through as a young tween
percy:………..im passing the phone to someone who’s literal mom is the goddess of wisdom yet she can’t read or spell
annabeth: im passing the phone to someone with daddy issues
percy: im passing the phone to someone with daddy AND mommy issues
annabeth: IM PASSING THE PHONE TO SOMEONE-
grover: guys can i please have my phone back please i just want to ft my girlfriend please
i just love that their all friends and that that is what is first and foremost no matter that percy and annabeth are dating they were besties first so their silly and they’re annoying and i love them as a trio
#pjo#hoo#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#heros of olympus#hoo fandom#pjo fandom#hoo text post#pjo text post#hoo/pjo#annabeth and percy#percabeth#annabeth chase and percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#annabeth percy and grover#golden trio
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we had fun tho the whole family hung out and we did some sporclee and chronophoto and then globle me n lamp nd father did globle bc mein mamma went to sleep. yay :]
#nd i think tmrw or something like that me n my mom will finish off 13s run in de#which im excited for bc im rly excited to get to 15 bc my mom loves it and im excited to be caught up so we cn talk abt everything#i am a bit bummed i ws rly hoping 2 like 13s seasons better this time around.. but i didnt :[ just the writing didnt come together 4 me and#i feel like the companions weren't developed much at all#and im famously a timeless child hater like i think its stupid for the dr to be the timeless child. like if there hss to be a timeless child#Fine ig its a fine origin story its kind of a like. answering a question nobody asked thing#where like. yk. i was fine with the tjme lords judt having regeneration#but mein mamma told me that they like drop all that and it is Nottt mentioned again eith the new writers which is so funny#the blessing and the curse new writers. bc the blessing is if there was a writing decision i dont like The new writers will completely#abandon it and go do their own shit. the downside is they do the same for things i do like#missy what happeneddd like where. UGH we cant even get into it i miss my princess so badly it hurts#ik we like. saw her die im just like. bc this master was not at all like.. it just doesnt feel like a continuation at all#my moms theory is he might actually be an earlier incarnation of the master since they never actually specify. nd then i was checking the#wiki and rheres some weird stuff like. missy forcing all of her Good parts to regenerate into some other lady and then like.#idk it just said that. so idk if that implies the bad parts regenerated into like. evil master... i dont know. but wtvr. im excited#and a little birdie told me donnaaaaa will be baaaaaaaaackkkkkk which is the best thing that could ever happen to me im SO excited. my#friend donna#i like that like. i like getting new companions inlike when companions dont overstay their welcome cough cough. clara. but i do love seeing#companions come back like sry it does get me everytime im always like My friend my friend my friend. yk. i just love to seeing them again...#oh i got distracted. i was gonna say i rly dislike the dr being the timeless child bc i rly like when the dr is judt like. a guy. gender#neutral my mom laughed at me bc i said rhat earlier and went That sounded like im complaining abt hrr being a woman. im noy#THATS WHY I WANTED 2 LIKE HER LIKE. im so bummed that the first female dr is the one with In my opinion the weakest writing. like fml. tho i#havent seen any of the older stuff so idk... just from 9 onwards is what iiiiive got going.#but ya. i ws so worried voicing my criticisms to my mom bc i ws worried i ws just being a hater or nitpicky#but my mom agreed with me on a lot and ya. i rly like discussing stuff w my mom even tho im almodt positive i annoy her sometimes bc i get#too busy discussing my theories and being like And what about this and i get distracted from the show where theyrelike#explainjng somrthing jm asking abt. JFBFJFNT#i judt love discussion. and its tly fun to talk abt it with my mom :] yay#like ikit snnoys ppl when someone talks while watching smth or theorizes while watching smth lr asks questions that will be answered#but lke its my fav part of watching things w ppl 😭😭😭 im fr the yapperrr
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LOVE ON AiR
SYNOPSiS » two podcast groups, both equally popular on the internet, start interacting with one another. however it isnt how fans want it to be.. OR yn sees sunghoon hating on lauryn hill and accidentally starts an entire fanwar with him.
PAiRiNG » sunghoon x fem!reader
FEAUTRiNG » all of enha, giselle of aespa, txt briefly mentioned
GENRE » smau (social media au), fluff, angst, enemies to lovers (barely), chronically online humor, romance, podcast au, influencer au, HEAVILY inspired from suburb talks and under the influence podcasts, SLOWBURNN
WARNiNGS » profanity, suggestive humor, kys/kms jokes, lots of pop culture references (im chronically online im sorry), drinking, drugs, fanwars, yn haters (BOOOOO), stalking (sorta?) manipulation (NOT FROM SUNGHOON OR Y/N) changes every chapter.
STATUS » completed — (08/03/24) to (10/26/24)
PLAYLiST » your eyes only - enha, after midnight - chappell roan, ex factor - lauryn hill, kiss me - dpr live, read your mind - sabrina carpenter, 3005 - childish gambino, poison poison - renee rapp, thirst - dpr live, just a little bit - enha, daisy - wave to earth, nouvelle vague - wave to earth, thinkin about you - frank ocean. (got carried away .. 😁)
AUTHORS NOTE » BIGGG thanks to my bestest friend ever, my fav british person, @lqfiles , ily so so much and thank you so much for helping me with this process. teaching me how to work tumblr like i was a grandma even tho im only 2 years older than u and making this AMAZING cover (isnt she talented), i love u sooo much more than words can describe, you annoying brit (endearing) 🫶
TAGLIST CLOSED!
written chaps in blue
🔴 RECORDING..
teaser (read first for context!!)
profiles i & profiles ii
1) call my phone a vibrator the way it keeps buzzing
2) YAP CENTRAL EP.135: alpha male podcasts?!
3) first hate thread. feeling nervous
4) pussy slay queen!
5) okay alpha
6) ROUND TABLE EP.149: perfect pitch :o
7) 1 down 3 to go
8) what the fuck is a ynhoon
9) YNXOXO VLOG: night out w/ won and riki
10) wet and bothered
11) just a normal tuesday
12) jungwons evil arc
13) YNXOXO VLOG: cafe date with my girls <3
14) the battle of thirst traps
15) twitch streaming era
16) YAP CENTRAL EP.136: did social media ruin relationships?
17) second interaction: kinda scared
18) fuck skater boys
19) park sunghoon v. round table
20) riki emo era: OVER
21) sunghoons side hoes
22) ROUND TABLE EP.150: we traded phones?!
23) bro define: friend
24) spidey sense
25) on my cellular plan i pay for?
26) YNXOXO VLOG: night time routine + surprise!!
27) a face i would kiss
28) collab of the century
29) YAP CENTRAL EP.137: has love lost its meaning?
30) eyes don’t lie
31) operation: ynhoon (postponed)
32) crybaby
33) operation: ynhoon (BACK ON)
34) chat is this a date yes or no?
35) boss baby jay
36) boyfriend
37) soft or hard?
38) what da heck *tyla voice*
39) YNXOXO VLOG: ice skating! | vlog w/ a special guest!!
40) love is on air
UNCUTS
1) operation: get riki ip banned on twt
2) try not to blow up challenge: FAILED
3) JAYS KITCHEN: my friends trying to help me make food blindfolded. (spoiler: it’s a fail)
4) YNXOXO VLOG: my boyfriend does my makeup voiceover !
5) YAP CENTRAL BLOOPERS: riki kat and yn patreon ad
© all rights to pshbites 2024
#enhypen#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen smau#enhypen imagines#enhypen social media au#enhypen sunghoon#sunghoon#sunghoon smau#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon x reader#enhypen x reader#sunghoon scenarios#park sunghoon#pshbites#sunghoon x you#enhypen x you#sunghoon social media au#pshbites: love on air
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I just realized I hate myself
#cw self loathing#i- fuck man I knew but it just set in#After years of hiding my emotions and interests and trying to love everyone I realize that it’s okay to be annoying#I shouldn’t have been bullied. I was 11. I got fucked up by so many people and it all came crashing down tonight#I just want love but I don’t even know how#After being ignored. Being ‘funny’ and being patronized. Being fucking degraded by my sister- who was supposed to care for me#Being stuck in that goddamn cabin and being told “you’re the reason they have so much gray hair”and everyone agreeing#Having to call my dad. He’s the only one who understood my situation. Yelling into the trees. Watching gravity falls. Watching Mabel and#Dipper. Wondering why that never happened with me. I was 12.#Loving my sisters. Asking for the same back. Comforting them. Being 11. Them yelling at me to solve their argument. Create a slideshow#On why they should stop fighting. Crying over the screams. Being alone. Being 11. Showing it to them. “Don’t use :3. It’s for furries.”#Posting this shit on tumblr because nobody ever interacts with me on here.#Never get apologies. Ask for one lifeline. The person I helped throughout their last time living here. Praying PRAYING that they talk medow#Down*#“It’s not as bad as you’re making it seem. Stop crying and grow up.” Being 11. Opening a jar of sleeping pills. Petting my dogs.#Texting my online roleplay group my final words. Telling them I loved them. Watching the sun. ‘Mom doesn’t love me’ as I eat the gummies#Hoping she will. Hoping I get an obituary for not being annoying. Hoping I’m a martyr. Waiting. Watching my favorite videos. Being 11.#Hanging up on my sister. Trying to be inconspicuous. Creeping up the stairs. Breaking the child safety lock. Being 11. Being 12 being 13#Mom creeping into my room. Saying sorry but I can’t skip school tomorrow. It’s been hours since I took the gummies#I ask her to read a story book. She agrees. I’m 10 again. On the beach with my class. I have a crush on one of my best friends. Mom still#Loves me. I’m not lazy or a slacker(I’m still not. Self love. It’s okay to slack off) My friend grabs giant kelp and uses it as a weapon#The book ends. I’m not dead. I want to go back there. In a quiet voice “mom? I ate the melatonin gummies.” She knows it’s on purpose.#Hospital food. Being 11. Psychology students in my hospital room. I’m a fucking exam. 2 of them. Living normal lives. Writing a plan for me#Mom talking for me. Her being wrong.#I need to love myself.
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