#I wanted to sound intimidating sue me

[blueandyellow7]

WHAT DO WE WANT? BYLER BTS PHOTOS! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? NOW!

[xfgpng]

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 -

— : [ nsfw ] yakuza boss toji, arranged marriage, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, pet names, fluff (he’s very ooc with reader, sue me) + breeding kink and mentions of pregnancy

— : wc : 1.9k

when you were first introduced to the zenin clan, you were shy. your father and the head of the zenin family were close, the alliance going as far back to the early 1920’s.

you didn’t ask any questions and like the good and dutiful daughter you were, accepted from the age of 16 that you would be married into their family. you didn’t have any complaints, your parents and older brothers and sisters were always good to you and you felt honoured that your father had chosen you and not one of your sisters.

now, at 23, you were to be married to one of the sons who would rightfully take over the family business as soon as his grandfather passed on.

toji zenin

just looking at him made you squirm. he was big and intimidating and his smile made you feel like he was in on a joke that you didn’t get. still, he was beyond handsome so you had no complaints.

he was always soft with you, different from how aggressive you’ve seen him be to just about anyone else.

“come sit with me baby” he chuckles, watching you leaning awkwardly against the door to his private home office.

“are you busy?” you ask, walking around the large desk to stand next to his chair.

“never too busy for my wife” he smirks, pulling you to sit on his lap. he kisses your temple and then your cheek as he wraps his arm around you.

you can tell that he is actually busy. he has his laptop open and there are stacks of money packed in neat piles on the floor next to his desk.

“couldn’t sleep?” he asks, rubbing your arms softly. it wasn’t necessarily cold in his office but it was cold in the house and the big bed felt empty without your husband.

“not without you” you admit and he laughs. it’s not to mock you, he never makes you feel stupid for your feelings despite everyone telling you how mean and rude he was. you didn’t care, he treated you just fine.

“i’m sorry sweetheart” he sighs, “i’m almost done here”

“toji…” you say, trailing off. you’ve been thinking about this for a month now and you weren’t sure if he was just being nice or if he was just keeping you around to save face.

“what is it?” he asks, turning his laptop off to give you his full attention. he did feel bad for not sleeping with you but he was a busy man and he was still a newlywed. he wasn’t sure how to handle these things all at once.

“i just… do you not want me?” you ask, frowning slightly. you don’t mean to sound so desperate but you were married after all and he hadn’t even…

“what, where is this coming from?” he asks and he seems confused. he turns you in his lap so he can see your face. you really were so cute when you looked so shy.

“you haven’t tried to touch me” you pout, “i know you’re far more experienced than i am but i thought you’d —”

“y/n” he cuts you off, cupping your face gently, “i’ve wanted to fuck you since we were teens”

“hey!”

he laughs, kissing you. you really were the sweetest thing.

“i know you’re a virgin, i would never want to force you into anything unless you’re ready” he says, “and besides”

you look into his eyes and he’s smirking again.

“i’m big, i don’t wanna hurt you” he’s so smug and you’d slap him if you weren’t interested in finding out just how big.

you squirm in his lap, moving your hips against him and he grabs your waist.

“watch it” he narrows his eyes, “i’ll take that as an invitation”

“take me to bed toji-san” you flatter your pretty lashes at him and his jaw clenches. he really couldn’t give a fuck about finishing any work tonight.

“mark your words baby” he warns, scooping you up and heading towards your bedroom.

you kiss his neck, sucking marks into it. you weren’t always like this but you’ve seen the way people look at him and even though he was all yours, you had no problem reminding them that toji was a married man. he was off the market. he was yours.

he grins, titling his head to the side to give you more access and you moan, biting down. he grunts, slapping your ass before laying you down gently on your expensive silk sheets.

“i didn’t know my wife was so slutty” he scoffs, pulling his sweater off in one swift motion. the way he looks standing over you, big and bulky has you squeezing your thighs together.

he licks his lips, pulling your legs apart and leaning down to kiss the inside of your thighs.

“let me get you nice and ready for me yeah?” he bites your thigh in retaliation from your own marking and you gasp, legs falling open wider.

your pretty silk panties are damp and he looks up at you with a smirk.

“that excited for me already baby?” he teases, just to see you try to cover your pretty face with your pillow.

he kisses the inside of your thighs, watching as goosebumps arise. you were so sensitive and he liked that a lot about you. he reaches up to pull your panties down, groaning at the sight of your pretty pussy glistening with your arousal.

you knew you were pretty, you’ve never doubted that but the way he looks at you, makes you feel so beautiful. you think your parents made the right choice when it came to toji.

he kisses your clit, earning a soft whimper from you. flattening his tongue against your pussy, he licks a long stripe from your slit to your clit, wrapping his lips around your sensitive bud as he slips a wet finger into your tight pussy.

his thick finger feels different from your own but it’s still so good, so much better than you even imagined and you find yourself moaning louder for him, grinding your pussy against his face.

he grins, adding another finger before scissoring you open. it hurts just a little but you don’t want him to stop, the pain doing nothing to stop the tingling sensation you’re feeling all over your body.

“feels good baby?” he asks, licking his lips as he watches you fall apart beneath him. it’s so sexy, the way you squeeze and pinch your nipples.

you look so disheveled and fucked out and it’s all for him. he feels his cock throb and twitch knowing he will be the only person to ever see you like this.

“i’m ready for you” you whine, “please, i want it”

he’s too weak to deny you anything and it should scare him but he can’t help the chuckle that leaves his mouth. a sweet thing like you had him wrapped around your finger and you probably didn’t even know that yet.

he strokes his cock a little, watching your eyes widen when you see just how big he is. you’ve never had sex before but you weren’t exactly innocent. you’ve seen porn and his dick was a lot bigger than the ones you used to see on your screen.

it has you unconsciously closing your legs.

“don’t hide from me sweetheart” he grins, “it’s all yours you know?”

he’s teasing you but he wasn’t wrong. all of toji belonged to you in the same way you were his.

he’s careful when he rubs his thick and veiny cock through your folds. you’re so wet and it helps ease the tension he felt. he would never hurt you unless you asked him to. he would do whatever you wanted.

“ready?” he asks, rubbing soothing circles into your hips as he leans down to kiss you softly.

“yeah” you gasp, “want you”

you’ve wanted him since you learned what it was like to please yourself. a silly teenager who didn’t know the first thing about sex aside from what you were taught.

he takes his time, pressing into you. the stretch shocks you and it’s almost enough to distract you from the pain but it does hurt. when his tip pops through, you cry out, eyes squeezing shut.

he kisses you gently, whispering praises as he slowly bottoms out. his eyes widen when he looks down and sees the blood. he’s about to pull out when you wrap around legs around him.

he can see you crying but you’re also smiling. he knows it must feel uncomfortable for you but he mirrors your sweet smile.

“you’re so big” you moan, moving your hips on your own and he bites the inside of his mouth. you’re so wet and tight and your velvety walls welcome him home like he belongs.

“don’t” he groans, “please baby, i need a moment”

he slides out slowly, watching your face for any discomfort. he knows how big he is, he’s always taken pride in his body and he can’t help but feel smug about your moans and whines.

he moans, thrusting back into you. he knew it would feel good but this is nothing like he could ever imagine. he doesn’t want to think about the women he’s been with before you.

he was arrogant when he was younger, refusing to get married to you or waiting. he feels like a piece of shit whenever he thinks about you and how loyal you’ve been, despite his reluctance in the beginning.

“more” you beg, gripping his bicep with the hand that wasn’t gripping the sheets below you. your nails make crescent moons in his skin and he knows it’ll leave marks. he hopes it bleeds too, he wants to feel you all over.

he picks up his pace, enjoying the way your moans get louder, the sound of skin slapping against skin is loud and he wonders if everyone in the house can hear you. he hopes so. you sounded so pretty, he would never get enough of you.

“i love you” he gasps, leaning down to kiss you. he feels you smile against his lips before you wrap your arms around his neck.

he slows down and he almost regrets it. he’s so close to busting his load when he hears you whine and then, “put a baby in me” you say, “fuck me full of your cum toji-san”

he bites your shoulder. he really needs to calm the fuck down. everything is so overwhelming and you’re just so perfect it makes him nervous.

he would be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about it. he’s fucked his fist to the idea of breeding you, stuffing your pussy with his cum until it leaks out but he wouldn’t stop, he’d keep going until you passed out.

“y/n” he warns, feeling your clench around him. you were playing a dangerous game and you clearly knew that. perhaps you did know the power you had over him.

“i want your cum” you plead, kissing his jaw and then his cheek, whispering right into his ear, “i wanna feel you for days, please”

he’ll make you regret messing with him like this.

“safe word” he whispers and he’s not sure why he’s even surprised when you don’t look confused or surprised. you smile so sweetly and oh so innocently up at him when you say,

“sōko”

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Never a Dull Moment (Part 15)

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Well for all the meeting with the JL had sort of been shit, it had brought Jason back to the attention of the hero community. He was rebuilding, or building bonds with his adoptive brothers and, while he still wasn’t really a hero, he was far from joining the legion of doom. He wanted to help the heroes when he could, especially if they’d pay him, or return the favour later, or were family. But if he was going to be working with the heroes, and the bats again, there was one more person he really needed to make up with, and one more he needed to meet.

Steph hadn’t been part of the bats before he died, neither had Tim, so he had never met her, and Barb… he’d heard about what had happened to her. The Joker had shot her, paralyzed her from the waist down and officially, and permanently benched Batgirl. Apparently Huntress had tried to take the mantle for a while, but it didn’t suit her style. Jason wasn’t sure how he would handle seeing someone else so badly hurt by the Joker.

It helped that the Joker was dead now of course, but that wasn’t really the part of it he was worried about. She had found a new place for herself, carved out a space as Oracle, the bat’s ‘guy-in-the-chair’, she had adjusted to such a devastating change and she was… okay. He had died, yes, but he had been brought back, but he was unquestionably worse. Seeing her was going to make him so ashamed of himself. Through no fault of her own she was the standard Bats hurt by the joker were held to, and he had failed it spectacularly. 

Not that the others hadn’t been hurt by the Joker. Tim had told Jason about his time as Joker Junior in confidence and it sounded fucking awful, and Tim was permanently affected by it. He said he couldn’t remember many details but he knew he didn’t experience emotions the same way he had before, and he was still prone to bouts of mania. Jason could sympathize with that, he understood, and he certainly understood what it was like to fear insanity, what one could become if they finally fell off the knife edge they were tottering on. Both he and Danny were intimately familiar with that feeling, and they could all support each other through it. 

Once he had met ‘O’ maybe he would find out ways that she wasn’t as well adjusted as she seemed from the outside but right now? Jason found her tremendously intimidating. So sue him that he had been putting off meeting her in person again, in spite of Dickie’s gentle nagging to incorporate himself more with the Gotham vigilantes. 

“Really Jay, she’d be happy to meet you and it would make it so much easier to coordinate with you and help you if you need it.” Dick insisted as he followed from the living room to the kitchen, without seeming to register it.

“I’m already on the coms. I hacked them ages ago and she hasn’t booted me off, we can coordinate. It’s not like I ever ask you guys for help anyway,” Jason grumbled. “Why do you want me to meet your ex so badly?!” He snapped as he put the kitchen island between himself and Dick to enforce some space, then winced a little. He really needed to stop lashing out when he was feeling a bit defencive, thankfully these things seemed to just bounce off of Dick. Though the jury was out on if he knew Jason didn’t mean it or if they just went over his head. 

“Ya, but it’s her channels you’re hacking and honestly she’s starting to get pretty upset about you not engaging with her!” Dick said, talking with his hands to the extent Danny subtly rescued his glass of pop before it could get spilled or accidentally flung at the wall. “Doesn’t matter that she’s my ex, she's one of us and she’s good! You’re getting back involved with our family, you should get back in touch with her!”

Danny put the glass down on the counter and casually blocked Dick’s way before he could follow Jason around the counter, leaning against. He was doing that thing he did where he practically faded into the background without going fully invisible. Not interrupting the conversation while still keeping an eye on Jason, which he appreciated because he did not want to lose it on his well meaning (if pushy) brother. 

“I’m not fucking one of you! I’m not a hero!” Jason growled at Dick, feeling Danny gently rest a hand on his arm reminding him to take a deep breath. 

“But you’re still part of the family, Littlewing,” Dick pleaded, looking a little hurt and terribly hopeful. “Please?”

Jason felt that like a punch in the gut, and really he knew Dick was right and he should meet the two of them. He groaned and rubbed his face. “Fine, she’s always on the coms right? Next time I’ll just apologize for hacking them and have a chat.” 

“Actually Bruce will be off-world next week so we’re all having a family lunch at the manor, you should come!” Dick enthused.

“I haven’t-”

“Yes you have, I know you’ve sneaked in to visit Alfred! Not that I blame you of course. He’d love to have you there,” Dick interrupted, giving Jason his best puppy dog eyes.

Shit, bringing up Alfred was just cheating, those puppy dog eyes didn’t usually work on him but Jason could feel himself softening. His shoulders slowly drooping before he heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Fine, yes, we’ll come,” He grumbled.

“We’ll?” Dick asked looking confused, before Danny slipped out of his half visible state and pressed against Jason’s side smiling at Dick. 

“We’re looking forward to it,” Danny said, smiling at Dick. He hadn’t technically been invited, but surely they couldn’t expect Jason to go without his partner. 

“Oh, ah, right,” Dick said shifting awkwardly. He looked like he might want to suggest Jason's first family lunch since getting back should be with family only, but Danny put on his best innocently excited look and Dick couldn’t bring himself to say no. He stifled a sigh and put his smile back on. “Great! I’m sure Alfred will be happy to have both of you.”

“Great. Now that you’ve gotten your way will you both get out of my kitchen so I can cook?!” Jason insisted, still only half regretting inviting Dick over for dinner tonight.

---------

Jason knew better than to bring anything to the family dinner. Alfred liked to do all of the cooking for these things, he considered coming early to help him with the cooking he wanted to do. But honestly he didn’t think that he could handle any more time with the family then was absolutely needed. Just going back to the manor, not just sneaking into the kitchen to have tea with Alfred, was going to be hard enough. 

Danny wasn’t anywhere near as nervous as Jason was, he was sort of excited to meet them and to get a tour of the home Jason had spent such formative years in. Jason caught the mischievous look in Danny’s eyes when he talked about getting a tour and Jason was pretty sure that Bruce was going to come back to find that something expensive or potentially sentimental had been mysteriously broken. Jason didn’t mention it, he didn’t blame Danny for the urge and didn’t want to know anything about it. He just wanted to show up for dinner, stay for an hour or two to make nice, and then get drunk.

“Jason? We’re going to be late,” Danny said softly, leaning against the back of the couch where Jason was sitting. He didn’t say it with any urgency, he wasn’t rushing Jason. It was a gentle reminder, if Jason wanted to be late Danny would support it, if Jason wanted to cancel and not go at all Danny would curl up on the couch with him and not bring up the dinner again  unless Jason did. Even if he did want to go.

“You’re right, we should get going,” Jason agreed and stood up. “How do I look?” He asked, he was wearing untorn jeans and a short sleeved shirt with a collar, almost a polo.

Danny gave him a considerate look, “Downright preppy,” He chuckled, leaning forward to giving Jason a gentle kiss. He was wearing a sort of silky black button down and tight jeans, also nice, but more his style. 

Jason laughed softly into the kiss and gripped Danny’s hips, pulling him closer and prolonging the kiss as Danny let out a little sound of pleasure. Maybe they should be late after all…

Danny broke the kiss and stepped away. “You look good Jason, you’ll make a good impression on them. And no matter what happens you’ll still have me. If you want to cut them all off again and go back to the way things were, you’ll still have me. No matter what.” Danny promised Jason, holding his hand and guiding him towards the door. 

“I’m not going to isolate us again Danny. And you shouldn’t let me even if I try,” Jason told Danny, trying to keep his tone light to undercut how much he meant it. “And if I do feel free to stage an intervention.”

Danny laughed and gave Jason a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and didn’t respond. Well that was clearly a topic they were going to have to talk about more later, but apparently now was not the time because Danny tugged Jason more forcefully out of the door. Jason took over leading the way down and tugged Danny onto the back of his bike before taking off toward the manor. 

The gate opened as they pulled up which meant someone must have been watching for them, Jason barely had to slow down to duck through the half open gate. He skidded to a stop at the end of the long driveway that separated the Wayne’s from the rest of Gotham. He hadn’t noticed anyone hanging around the gate but he wondered if anyone would notice the two new people driving into the estate, and if there would be any speculation about who they were. He hoped not, unless it would give Bruce a headache, then maybe he could put up with it.

Danny hopped off the back of his bike and took off his helmet, fussing and fluffing up his flattened hair as he looked around them with a grin. Jason flipped down the kickstand and got up as well, taking off his helmet and shrugging off his jacket. Quickly Dick came bursting out of the door and leaping down the front steps to hug Jason, who quickly redirected Dick at Danny who laughed and hugged Dick tightly, lifting him off the ground and making him squeak. 

Jason grinned and looked up, freezing for just a moment when he saw Alfred, standing in the open doorway with his hands clasped behind his back, watching them with a barely there smile. Jason left the other two as Danny put Dick down again laughing at his expression, and Jason went up the stairs ahead of them. 

“It’s good to see you again Master Jason,” Alfred murmured to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. His accent and the warmth in his eyes always felt like home, Jason’s shoulder unknotted a little. “I know the manor doesn’t feel like home for you, but you’re still always welcome here.”

“I know Alfred,” Jason said softly. And he did, even Bruce wouldn’t turn him out, though he would ask for certain concessions. Any time Jason wanted to give up and come home, he could, too bad he’d always been too proud and too driven to give up. He’d blow everything up first, a trait he wasn’t exactly proud of. 

“As long as you know. Come on in, you and your partner,” He said, nodding behind Jason and when he glanced back Danny was there and he nudged gently against Jason’s shoulder. Jason took the hint and wrapped an arm around Danny’s shoulders.

“Alfred, this is my boyfriend Danny. Danny, this is the family butler, and pseudo grandfather, Alfred.” Jason introduced them and Danny smiled brightly, holding out his hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you!” Danny said as Alfred shook his hand. “Jason has told me so much about you, I’m so glad to finally meet you.” 

“And I you young man, it is delightful to meet anyone who has brought so much joy to my grandchildren’s lives,” Alfred said warmly before ushering them all inside and to the dining room to get them all drinks. 

“It’s good to finally meet you!” A blond girl popped out of nowhere making Jason jump. 

“Fu-”

“Language Master Jason!” Alfred cut in.

“Sorry Alfred, she just startled me,” Jason told him before looking back at the blond. “So you must be Steph eh? Kinda funny how the people who date into this fucked up family never escape even long after the breakup,” He chuckled as he offered her his hand, which she grabbed with both of hers and shook vigorously. 

“Hey I could totally leave if I want to, I didn’t become Spoiler because of him! I like being a vigilante!” She insisted before letting go and moving on to shake Danny’s hand. “Behold! Your future,” She joked and he cackled. 

“Jason and I aren’t planning to break up any time soon,” he joked back. “And I was a cape long before I met him, more of a cape then I am now actually,” He said, clicking his tongue and snuggling back against Jason’s side when she let go. 

“Oh ya? How’d you get into it,” Steph asked curiously. 

“Oh it was after I got my powers at 14,” Danny started to explain. A story Jason had heard before, and he had a feeling Steph already knew as well but wanted to hear directly from the source. 

Jason looked up and around the room, sort of tuning out their conversation since he already had an idea how it would go. He spotted Barbra quickly, she had pulled her wheelchair at the table, she had her elbows propped on the arms and her hands folded, staring at him over steepled fingers. Well, time to face the music. He kissed the top of Danny’s head and slipped away, walking around the table and sitting down next to her. 

“Hey Barbie,” He said a little awkwardly, she gave him a look that made him wince. “Sorry Barbra,” He murmured, wondering how she perfected Alfred’s disappointed look more than any of the kids who actually grew up with him.

“Barb is fine,” She said, spinning her chair to face him a little more. 

“Right, it’s- um, it’s good to see you again?” He said it like a question. 

“Really?” She asked, raising her eyebrows and leaning back in her chair. “And here I thought you’d been avoiding me.”

“Ya, I’m sorry. I don’t really have any excuse,” He admitted, looking away from her. 

“Do you have a reason?” She asked, raising one eyebrow. 

“Well, ya, but I don’t know if it’s a good one,” He told her.

“Tell it to me anyway.”

“I couldn’t face someone else The Joker hurt so bad. I didn’t know about Timmer’s Joker Jr incident when I reached out to him,” Jason sighed, unable to look at her. 

“What? Am I everything you don’t want to be?” She asked dryly and he shook his head. 

“No, you’re what I should have been if I was stronger,” He admitted with a sigh. “I’m sure you had a ton of shit to work through, but you moved forward and found a new role for yourself, stayed a part of the family and didn’t distance yourself. You’re not stuck in the past, obsessed with revenge and so fucking angry and scared,” Jason grumbled. 

“So I make you feel inadequate?” She asked with an amused note to her voice. 

“Ya I guess so,” Jason said with a bitter little snort of a laugh.

“I guess I can understand that,” Barb sighed with a little shrug. “You shouldn't compare yourself to others like that though you know. It's not healthy, you're on your own ‘healing journey’.” At least she put finger-quotes around the phrase. None of the bats took particularly well to therapy talk though she must have had a decent amount of it after her injury. Commissioner Gordon wouldn't have let her go without.

“Gee thanks,” Jason said,  rolling his eyes. “But also, kinda ya. I'm trying to be better you know? That's why I'm here, I'm trying to do better you know? I appreciate that you haven't kicked me off the coms, but I'd like to be on them in a more official way now. Me and Danny, we care about Gotham too, we should work with her other protectors a bit more.”

“Remember you're not supposed to talk about work at dinner, did you already forget that rule?” She teased him with a little smile, at least she didn't seem mad anymore. “But I agree, I'll officially add you to our contacts for Arkham breakouts and stuff.

“Now I think Steph is about to give your boyfriend a tour of the manor, do you want to go with them?” Barb asked, gesturing over at Danny, who was indeed being dragged out of the room while laughing.

“Nah, it seems like they're getting along well and I already know my way around here if I need to,” he said with a shrug. “Unless you're trying to get a break from me, then I'll go.”

“No, honestly I'd rather not be left alone with Dick,” she joked making Jason laugh properly and relax at least a little. He relaxed properly when Alfred brought out drinks and appetizers. Soon he was teasing Dick along with Barb, and getting disapproving looks for talking with his mouth full.

Just as food was brought to the table Steph and Danny returned, Jason could tell from how smug Danny looked that something was in the house was broken, Steph seemed blissfully ignorant. Danny slid into the open seat next to Jason. Jason gave him a questioning look, Danny winked and Jason rolled his eyes, he'd find out more about whatever it was Danny had broken later. Tim joined them at the last minute as well, apologizing for losing track of time in his lab. 

The foods was wonderful, Alfred's cooking always tasted like home, and he was the reason Jason showed his love by feeding people. Everything Alfred made was made with love and soon everyone was chatting between bites. Danny and Tim were talking about his lab, which hadn't been part of the tour so Tim was going to show Danny after dinner. Barb and Jason had started talking about books and Dick kept butting in with irrelevant details because he wasn't very academic but he wanted to be part of the conversation. Steph got him off their back by starting to tease him for being a cop and pestering him for stories.

Things were going really well, until everyone's phones went off, with the special ring tones. Everyone reached for their phones. 

“No phones at the tab-” Alfred started automatically before he realized the implications of all of them getting a call. He closed his mouth with a very soft click, Jason didn't have a JL phone, but even he had gotten a text from Wonder Woman so he checked it to. 

There is a disturbance, we will likely need assistance from you and Hyena. We are waiting for word from Constantine.

“Well shit. Sorry dinner’s gotta end early Alfred, it looks like it's all hands on deck. At least we're all here so Danny and I can just Zeta in with all of you.” Jason sighed and pushed back from the table. 

“I don't have my suit,” Danny exclaimed, startled, “I didn't think I'd need it!”

“How quickly can you get it?” Dick asked, clearly worried.

“Give me ten minutes, is there anything you want me to get for you as well?” Jason nodded and told Danny some specific weapons Danny had built for him.  Danny nodded before transforming and speeding out through the wall leaving shocked silence in his wake.

“So that's what his other form looks like? Pretty cool!” Dick exclaimed finally. “Anyway, we should get ready too. Let's head down to the cave and see what info they've already sent through. 

[loveyhoneydovey]

stalker!reader x simon riley

notes and WARNINGS: AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS DNI this is an 18+ only blog. this fic contains stalking, toxic behaviour, references to sex, masturbation, tiny bit of daddy kink and a significant age gap between simon & reader is implied but the actual number is never mentioned.

reader can be of any race but it is a cis fem reader fic. if i missed anything please lmk:)

please don't take this too seriously, i let my pussy take the wheel

reader who meets ghost at a bar one night, while he’s on an outing with his team

reader who becomes obsessed with this intimidating, older and yet discreet hulking man

reader who tries hard the whole night to catch his name, noticing his friends (teammates? you’d find out soon enough) only call him l.t., lieutenant, or ghost

it didn’t escape you how he only slightly lifted his mask (it’s like he knew halloween was one of your favourite movies) to drink his beer, but you managed to catch a glimpse of his blond stubble and could feel your mouth water

reader who decides then and there this man is hers and hers only

and it all began there

you started following him whenever you could, taking pictures of him, getting to know him and his entourage

you thought his friend with a mohawk (johnny, as you’ve come to learn) was adorable, maybe you and ghost could play with him someday

you print all your favourite pics of him and hang them on your ceiling, you love looking at them when your fingers or thickest dildo are plunging in and out of your soaked cunt. you like to imagine this older man barking orders at you on how to do every single thing his way. you can't teach an old dog new tricks after all (or can you)

“don’t you come without daddy's permission, don’t you fuckin’ dare”, you come the hardest whenever you imagine his deep voice saying those words

you’ve also come to learn he has a terrible sweet tooth, big strong man like him likes to indulge sometimes

so one day as you start growing bolder, you go to his favourite café and get in line before him

you ask the barista if you can anonymously pay for his order as well and get him a chocolate scone (you wish you could hand feed it to him, maybe clean the chocolatey mess on his lips with yours)

you leave thinking of how pretty his cock would look inside you

ghost who’s been onto you from the very first night, you weren’t as discreet as you thought you were. pretty little thing like you it’s hard to go unnoticed

ghost who sometimes purposely wore clothing that showed off his build. his grey sweats? yeah that picture of him takes up the most space on your ceiling

ghost who sometimes leaves you little clues, knowing you’ll follow the crumbs like a starved rat. he loves how proud you look whenever you figure something out about him. sue him, he wants to make his baby happy

ghost who follows YOU home when you think he's gone to bed and start heading to your apartment. can't have his sweet girl to fend for herself in the dark now can he

ghost who plants a mic in your apartment during one of the few times you're to busy to follow him. he loves abusing his cock to the sounds of your moans (or your voice in general)

simon who’s eventually tired of your games and corners you in an alleyway while you’re following him

“wha-” “now now luv’, i think i’ve let you have enough fun, haven’t i? yeah daddy’s been onto you this whole time. what do you say we go home so you can show me what you were thinkin’ of every time you fucked that sweet pussy to my pictures.” the high-pitched moan you let out after gets a surprised chuckle out of him

“come on. after you, filthy brat”

[supernormalblogname]

i don't write very much at all so please be niceys to me... vore story about a prey with an awful big crush on an awful big pred. no specific characters. second person perspective, half size, safe & soft. most of it under the cut :]

When you first saw them, it was love at first sight. They were possibly the most beautiful person you’d ever seen, and definitely the tallest - towering over you wasn’t much of a feat, you were always on the shorter side, but this person seemed to tower over everyone, and they had a sharp, guarded expression to match their slightly frightening aura. 

You found yourself watching them from across the space.. And then, the two of you made eye contact, and the beautiful, intimidating stranger gave you a smile, flashing rows of unnaturally razor-sharp teeth. Before you could say anything, a friend of yours unceremoniously pulled you away.

Everyone you talked to about that person gave you an earful - “They’re a man-eating monster!” “They corner people on the street and swallow them whole!” “Don’t even think about getting near them, they’ve eaten everyone who tries to get close to them!” Nobody even seemed to know their name, but everyone had a horror story about their eating habits. You took their advice seriously at first - that sounded so scary! You didn’t want to be eaten alive!

But, even after those warnings, you found you couldn’t get your mind off of their face - their smile. Ahh, crushes were always hard to deal with, but of all the people you could’ve fallen in love with, why did it have to be them…

You started seeing them around more and more. At first it was just coincidence, but eventually you did just a little bit start lingering in places you’d seen them before, and maaaybe you had a rough idea of their schedule, and maaaybe you were sometimes following them. You were in love! Sue you! You made sure to keep a low profile, avoiding getting spotted by them - you hadn’t seen them do any… man-eating activities yet. But with how everyone seemed to be afraid of them, it must have some truth to it, and you didn’t want to get spotted and gobbled up!

The more you saw them, the more you wondered if the whole people-eating thing was just a mean rumor some bullies spread around about them… but at the same time, you also wondered… if it was really true, that they really ate people… what would that feel like.

You had the first burning wonder confirmed just a few days later, when you were stopped in your tracks by an incredibly strange sound coming from the little space between two buildings. You peaked your head in to see the back of the person of your admiration… with… the bottom half of another person sticking out of their mouth.

All you could do was stand there, completely transfixed as they swallowed the person down - a thick, audible Gulp-Gulp-Gulp sound as they disappeared more and more into their throat. Even with their back mostly to you, you could see the moving bulge in their throat where the person was being forced down. You found your face flushing red as they slurped the last of their - living, squirming - meal down with a particularly powerful Gulp- sealing the poor unfortunate person away.

Soon, the person had been deposited in the predator’s stomach - and you could tell, as the predator’s middle bulged and moved, the poor prey squirming, firmly trapped behind walls of flesh and muscle. They placed a hand on their stomach as it let out a loud Groaaan, satisfied.

And then, they turned.

And then, they made eye contact with you. 

And then, they smiled, flashing that mouthful of sharp teeth.

You doubt you’ve ever run faster in your life than you did in that moment. Trying to get as much distance as possible between you and the predator. Oh god oh god oh god, they were totally going to eat you-

That night, you could barely sleep. Every time you closed your eyes, visions from that encounter filled your mind… their powerful throat, their stomach, their smile… the more you thought about it, the more you couldn’t keep lying to yourself anymore.

You… really wanted them to eat you.

Luckily for you, your opportunity came possibly a bit sooner than you were ready for. As only a couple of days later, you were walking by that very alley, too caught up in your thoughts to realise where you were or that there was somebody lingering in the shadows… until you were roughly grabbed and pulled in.

There you found yourself, held harshly by your shoulders by the predator of your dreams. Your eyes stopped at their stomach at first - it was smaller again, empty and growling loudly, demanding to be fed. After a minute you finally pried your eyes away from their middle, and looked up to meet their gaze. They were huge, looking even taller up close, and as you looked at them, they gave you that mesmerizing smile, teeth on full display. Oh my god. Was this really happening?

You expected them to waste no time in gobbling you down - from the stories you’ve heard, they never bother talking to the people they eat. But instead…

“I know you’ve been watching me, little prey…” they say, voice low and growly. Your face is burning, and there’s no way the predator wouldn’t be able to tell - you’d be trying to cover it with your hands, but your arms are pinned to your sides in their harsh grasp.

“I bet you’ve been wondering how it must feel, to be eaten…” they lean in closer, you can feel their hot breath wafting across your face. Your heart feels like it's about to beat right out of your chest. You want to snap back at them, tell them to just get on with it, but you can’t get any words to form. Instead, you whimper kind of embarrassingly. The predator laughs, a deep chuckle that echoes through the space, and then…

They open their mouth wide, and practically shove your head into the damp, warm space. You can feel those sharp teeth resting on your neck, juust lightly enough that they don’t hurt at all, but it certainly dissuades you from trying to struggle, not that you could anyway, as you find yourself completely frozen up - oh my god oh my god, it was really happening.

You feel their tongue sliding across your face, and a low hum escapes from the back of their throat, vibrating the space around you - were they tasting you? Were they enjoying tasting you?

You didn’t have too much time to wonder about it, as you found your head moved forward to touch the back of their throat. And then…

Gulp!

It was all happening too fast for you to process, and yet it felt like the world was going in slow motion. Their throat was immensely tight, strong muscles compressing you on all sides, pushing you down, down, down. With every thick Gulp that reverberated around you, you felt more and more of your body being sucked into their powerful throat, until nothing of you was left outside. And at about the same time, you felt your head get squished into a slightly more open space, the rest of your body quickly following.

As you squirmed around, trying to orient yourself in the cramped, squishy, fleshy, moving space, the situation fully sank in. You were in their stomach. They had just eaten you. You had just been eaten, whole and alive… and… you kind of liked it.

You could feel the predator lean against the wall of the alley, and soon after something pressed into the side of the space - ah, that must be them resting their hand on their stomach from the outside, you never expected you’d be able to feel it from the inside like that. The organ groaaaned and growled around you, you could feel each satisfied rumble vibrate your own body. The predator sighed contentedly.

“You were delicious.” they remarked, and their words made you squeak, feeling almost lightheaded. Ah, it definitely wouldn’t be easy to get over this little crush of yours, but at least for now you were enjoying being held in their stomach, and they seemed to enjoy having you.

[sunthyme]

LAST PART!!! WE'RE IN THE HOME STRETCH, BOIS! Thank y'all so much, I know I keep saying it but I really appreciate y'all sm. The next post I do will feature my Yuusona or Prefect design and some headcanons featuring it. After that, I'll give y'all some options to see whatcha'll want. Now for...

🌹Diasomnia🌹

The disclaimer from Ignihyde is still in effect here, most of my headcanons are either because it looked cool or sounded cool lmao.

First up is...

🐉Malleus Draconia🐉

(he/she/they/it any basically) Agender - Panromantic Asexual

*giggles, kicks feet, twirls hair* Mal... Anyways! Some of y'all probably been waiting for this one! My silly fae prince, whose identity may or may not be based on my own. Sue me, this bitch is hella relatable.

- So, onto the headcanons, I felt like Mal wasn't all that intimidating when he first popped up outside our house. Idk, I see a cat-type personality and all my self preservation is thrown out the nearest window. She's just a big meow. But I wanted them to actually look rather intimidating, making his bangs cover his eyes a bit more, darker makeup, whatnot.

- I know Mal is canonically taller than the rest of the cast but Imma make her even taller. Its 6'6" without the horns and like 6'11 or 7' with them. I want them to be a cryptid!! Also the height difference with Lilia bout to be crazy.

- I like the idea that my prefect made her some lil Howl's Moving Castle earrings, even though it obvious doesn't exist in their world. Or maybe it does??? Who knows.

- *scientist voice* The autism is this subject is astronomical. *cough* Yeah, it's also not up for debate. The gargoyles, the general demeanour. Yuu is their favoured person.

- Malleus and my prefect would probably interact a little differently than Yuu does canonically, as we're both silly little autistic people, but I'll save that for my Yuusona post lol.

- Really tempted to throw in that it has a forked tongue. Does have fangs but Mal and Jamil probably both have forked tongues, j st for funsies.

- Loves to read sappy romance novels, is giggling and kicking her feet at soulmate stuff in particular. Has a whole list of little date ideas in a notebook (totally not saying this because /I/ have one or anything)...

Not mush else to say give I've only canonically interacted with her like three times but now for everyone's favourite grandpa!

🦇Lilia Vanrouge🦇

(he/she) - Bisexual

- Teehee! So I saw someone headcanons Lilia as Indian and I was SO here for it, though I think he's be half Indian, half Mexican or smth.

- Gave this girl SO many piercing. I feel like she got them 'cause she was bored. Idk, 500 years is pretty old, ya gotta spice things up some how.

- Some scars from 'ye old days'(tm) and I made his hair a bit wavy and added a green gradient to the ends, just to mimick Malleus' hair. Also, this bitch stands a proud 5'3" on a good day (aka with heels).

- He's the kind of dad that makes his kids wear matching pjs during the winter holidays and while he knows his kids like the back of his hand, chooses to give them silly gifts most of the time. Also, he spoils Mal and Silver rotten.

- Absolutely tries to get Malleus to properly flirt with MC but it never works out like he plans. Silver just watches with mild amusement.

Speaking of Silver,

🗡️Silver Vanrouge🗡️

(he/they) Demiboy - Achillic Asexual

- Yes, I was mad he doesn't canonically have a last name. I figured that Lilia would have officially adopted him at some point or another and typically you need a last name for a lot of things so I just gave them Lilia's.

- I think that Silver's gray hair is natural and once it gets to be a certain length, it just becomes gray. Additionally, Lilia's a cool dad so Silver got dyed ends and piercings too.

- I actually headcanon that Silver's blind and has narcolepsy (though that's pretty much canon). It was likely from birth or manifested early on and as a result, Malleus is a bit protective of Silver (and Sebek is too but he'd never admit it lol). He has a service dog, which is probably a cute golden retriever named Aurora, and records lectures to listen back to. He, Kalim, and Ruggie have little study groups as second years. Also, Silver's autistic. Lilia really out here collecting autistic children lmaooo.

- He really likes to knit. Don't ask why but I think he'd enjoy the rhythym of it. (He's made Ruggie and Kalim scarves and both treasure them a ton) He likes to make blankets for Malleus and Lilia as well as himself. He loves to work with the chunkier and softer yarns, especially because it makes keeping track of the stitches easier.

- Owes SO MANY plushies. His bed is half dedicated to them, most probably give to him by Lilia for birthdays and holidays. He loves soft things so all the plushies are like squishmellows and stuff.

Ah, I love Silver. Onto our last canon character,

🐊Sebek Zigvolt🐊

(he/him) - Achillic

Oh boy, this design was such a pain. I literally had to redo it because I didn't like it. Though, in the end, I think it turned out pretty neat.

- On with the physical stuff, I fucked around with his skin tone a bit because it did not look right with his hair in my og design which had a more lime, yellowy green instead of the mint. I made it warmer and ditched the yellow green for the original design's mint, just darker. Finally, I thought I needed a kick of something so I gave him some violet streaks and eyes and BOOM! A Sebek!

- I gave him a bit of a rounder face, I feel like he wouldn't have outgrown his baby chub yet, and a single dimple. I thought it'd be super cute, sue me. Cute lil freckles, the works.

- One thing I am super proud of was his Lichtenburg scar (I believe that's what it's called, I've only really heard in in TMA oops). While I certainly didn't do it justice here, I'll be fleshing it out at some point. I think it's a cool addition to the character based on lighting, maybe his magic accidentally hit him or damaged him at some point idk.

- He is, wait for it... also autistic. Shocker, pun intended. He's actually AuDHD to me and has issues with volume regulation, which is real idk. Would actually also be sensitive to loud noise, as backwards as that sounds. Has noise-cancelling headphones courtesy of Idia. Malleus is his favoured person and he looks up to him a lot.

- Grew up loving dragons and thinking they were like the coolest fcuking things then met Mal and was in awe. Was a totally nerd about dragons as a kid and still has figures and posters and whatnot.

God, I love the Diasomnia characters sm omgggg. It's time for my ocs!

🪡Thumbelina Souster🪡

Third Year - (they/she) Genderqueer - Pansexual

She looks like Zelda. I know... but she's pretty!

- Thumbelina is 'twisted' from the loom in the story of Sleeping Beauty. IF EPEL IS LITERALLY AN APPLE, she can be a loom. Anyhow, I made her a fae as well, likely one of the craft fairies, just taking on a more human-sized form. She takes a ton of inspo from the og story of Thumbelina, as a tiny little fae she got separated from her kin and raised by human parents. That's why she doesn't have the 'ick' about humans that most fae have.

- When she got accepted to NRC, Crowley gave her access to a potion that changes her size so she'd be able to attend school easier. Her parents were tailors and so she grew up around sewing but could never do it because of how tiny she was. When she changed sizes, she immediately wanted to try her hand at sewing, official joining (or maybe founding) the sewing club.

- After intially joining Diasomnia and seeing Lilia's piercings, they piqued her curiosity and she got some.

- As a fae, she loves to be outdoors and tends to a garden outside of the dorm. She also rather oblivious when some expresses interest in her as she's not familiar with human courting. Lilia adopts yet another autistic child lmao.

For another character based on something mildly abstract...

🥀Munkh Sarnai🥀

Second Year - (they/he/she) Genderfluid - Asexual Aromantic

- Munkh is my character for the thorns that encircled Aurora's castle. Minorly abstract but hey, cool ass character design.

- They're Mongolian and I wanted the spikey aspect to really shine through, giving them liberty spikes thanks to my friend's suggestion! Wanted to go really punk especially because I haven't really done so in a character design before and I LOVE IT!

- She was originally going to have a Maleficent colour palette for the spikes but it was getting too close to some of the other designs so I made it black and red to emulate roses.

- He's a part of the music club as well, likely a vocalist or drummer. He loves the energy and the people are really cool, plus obviously his vice housewarden's there.

- They're also on the athletic side and enjoy various sports, namely Spelldrive. Also, she does own her own blastcycle and immediately bonds with Deuce over a shared love of them. Deuce and Munkh like this 🤞.

Last but not least...

⏰Kyra Delano⏰

First Year - (she/her) - Sapphic

Pspsps... TMA fandom... pspsps Delano...

- Kyra's my oc twisted from Tick Tock, the alligator(?) from Peter Pan. I gave her the yellow-green from my original Sebek design and it looks way better here.

- I think as a reference to the clock and like 'ticking', she'd have Tourette's. It sometimes flares up more than others so she has an agreement with the teachers about class times where it's acting up.

- I think she'd have like mild beef with Josephina because they met on a wrong foot during orientation but it's not a huge deal. Probably sleep-deprived Josephina said something insulting Diasomnia and Kyra was like, "What the hell?". They have a friendly competition going on now, every gym class.

- She's a part of the track and field club and is one of the fastest on the team. That being said, she's not a huge fan of physical activity and prefer to read in the library or study.

Head's up, I lied. This isn't the last post. I have to do the staff and extra character like Neige, Che'nya, and Cheka. Plus Grim. I tricked you >:). Mayhaps it'll be up tomorrow... love y'all!🩷🩷🩷

[anarchy-and-piglins]

The water reflects beautifully off the lake when dusk hits.

Techno knows why they forbid him from coming here. Deceiving as it can be, the darkness of the water hides its true intentions. And the pale yellow eyes that peer back from its depths too.

"Are you willing to take my deal now?"

"Nope." Techno laughs at Quackity's annoyed scowl. Pupils narrowed, he would be intimidating to most humans. Techno should know better than to play with fire. The tree hollow he returns to each night proves he's too stubborn when it comes to ignoring the warnings of magic.

But also, Quackity looks like Techno could break him in half like a twig if need be. So sue him for not being very afraid.

"You're such a dick," Quackity hisses. His body is pulled up from the water to settle on a rock, legs dangling off idly. He pushes the hair out of his face, wetly clinging to his skin. "Do you like torturing me, is that it?"

"Not particularly," Techno says with a shrug.

"Then tell me what it would take to convince you?"

There's so much about Quackity that betrays his inhuman nature it. The sharpness of his fangs catches the light and his claws pick at the rock. Techno just is smart enough to stay a good three feet away from the edge of the water so the nixie can't drag him in.

"If you could stop bringing me here that'd be great," Techno says. "I'm just trying to take an evening stroll, man."

"It's in my nature," Quackity says flippantly while waving him away. "Asking me not to lure in humans is like asking the seasons to stop changing."

"Quackity!"

At the sound of Wilbur's voice, the man quickly ducks back into the water. Techno watches the ripples in the lake, feeling some kind of relief. As if something was pressing down on his chest without him noticing.

"Techno, are you okay?" Wilbur grabs his wrist. It makes him want to flinch away on instinct, but he can't.

Unlike with Quackity, Techno already messed up with this guy. Staying away from magic used to be a bigger issue for Techno and he's paying the price every single day.

"Peachy," he deadpans. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"Because you kind of have a tendency to get thralled," Wilbur tells him. His grin is so self-indulgent, Techno wishes he could slap it off his face really.

"Oh, I wasn't going to claim him." Quackity rolls his eyes at them from where they're peeking out a few inches above the water.

"Tell that to all the other shit you stole from me," Wilbur snarls back. "This is not one of our little contests, Quackity."

"Sure, Wilbur, we'll see about that." The nixie raises his hand above the water to wave. "See ya later, Techno."

Techno waves back until Wilbur drags his arm down, irritated. "This is why you got kidnapped by fae in the first place," he tells Techno.

"Actually I'm pretty sure I got kidnapped because you tricked me into accepting a gift."

"Who takes a potato from a stranger?"

“I’m appealed you’d even have to ask.”

Techno laughs all the way through Wilbur grumbling as he drags him back to his ‘family’. Say what you will, being condemned to living with fae has never been boring.

[sinclqir]

Cheat

terzo x female reader

warnings:

angst, cheating, breakups, and a very VERY rude terzo (it’s only for the sake of the story)

there will be a part two!

you’re a very well respected person in the ministry. you organized the tours, made sure all the siblings of sin were in check, and a very hard worker. you were also dubbed one of the most attractive sisters in the ministry. you had many siblings of sin try to hook up with you, but you didn’t per sue them, thinking it can interfere with your work. and you were not going to let all your hard work go to waste for a one night stand. but you weren’t perfect, and you let all that aside for him.

papa emeritus iii.

his charm and flirting got to you and you got with him. the casual sex quickly turned into a relationship. this was one of your first relationships you’ve been in. it was perfect, you would spend all your free time together, him buying you the most lavish gifts, him whispering sweet nothings in your ear, but that ended fairly quickly. he kept flirting with other siblings but you just assumed it was only his personality, which wasn’t half untrue.

he was always a very flirtatious man. to your knowledge he was loyal though. his flirting was the only thing he shared with others.

until the rumors started to fly. a new sister had been introduced to the ministry. she was beautiful. her name was daniela, and she was one of the most attractive people in the ministry. yet every time you tried to talk to her she was insanely passive aggressive. you didn’t think anything of it, people thought you were intimidating due to your high ranking in the ministry. if sister imperator needed anything important done, she would go to you immediately.

terzo started to become more distant with you, it hurt, but you didn’t know how to talk to him about it. he was a busy man, he’s papa. you decided to shrug it off until someone showed you that his relationship with sister daniela was starting to become something more than just acquaintances. they showed you a picture of terzo with his signature sly smirk, and the sister blushing. that wasn’t crazy to you, but the picture of him with his hand on her thigh made you a little uneasy. and then the video. it was of them kissing. your heart broke at the sight. you were never good with emotions so this feeling was unnatural to you. you didn’t know what to do.

you decided to confront him tonight, tired of everyone telling you he was cheating on you.

he walked out of his dressing room, prepared for a concert. “terzo…can we talk?”

"what is it?" terzo asked, he put a hand to his ear to block out the sound of the crowd, "what do we have to talk about? i am very, very busy and i have an entire crowd to sing for! so what is it!?" you looked at him sadly, “never mind, we’ll talk after the show.” terzo took in a sharp breath, but covered up his reaction with a smile, "alright! i will be very happy to, after the show." He grabbed the microphone out of the stand and stepped to the front of the stage, "are y'all ready to rock!?" the crowd roaring, "are you ready to let the devil in!?" the crowd roaring.

he performed a fantastic show, as usual, and stepped off stage. "whew! What a tough crowd tonight. but, it's time to have a little chat, isn't it?" terzo sighed as he slid his papal robes and placed them down on the ground. the backstage was quiet as the staff put away all of the instruments and audio equipment. the room was dimly lit, as terzo had demanded that no light be shed on it, as it was part of his dark aesthetic. "let's have it, what did you want to ask me?"

“can we talk in the dressing room? please?” your voice was light, which took him by surprise, he was used to your very stern voice. “of course!” he grabbed your hand and walked to his dressing room. he closed the door and walked to his vanity to take off his papa paints. “terzo, i’ve been having this problem recently…that i can’t ignore any longer.” you avert your eyes to the ground. "hm. go on. i'm listening.” his voice sounded uninterested as he took a makeup wipe and carefully took off his paints. “people have been…gossiping recently and…. a lot have been saying things.” you trail off as you felt a lump in your throat.

terzo looked concerned, though he hid it well. "tell me, what have people been saying," it may be difficult, but i want to help you, he thought, "i need to know, you understand?"

“they’ve been saying that you have been unfaithful to me…with sister daniela. is it true?” you already knew the answer, but you wanted to hear him say it.

terzo turned bright red and his jaw dropped as his head whipped around, "what?! that's... that's ridiculous! who... who would spread such horrible lies!?" his eyes filled with fury and he slammed his fists on his thighs, "that's absurd!"

you look at him with sad eyes, “terzo, i know you’re lying.”

"excuse me!?" terzo stood up and stormed over to where you were standing, "why would you be so stupid as to believe that!? just because other people say it doesn't make it true! how on earth can i tell you to trust me if you're gonna fall for stupid rumors like that!?" he grabbed your shoulders, "i would never do that to anyone! how could i even do such a thing!? i’m papa! i serve Satan! do you really think i could cheat on someone!?" you shrugged off his hands.

you pull out your phone. “they have shown me pictures!” you showed him said photograph. “how do you explain that?” he could see the tears in your eyes. threatening to fall.

terzo grew extremely quiet and pale in the face. "that-..." he paused, not quite sure how to explain it, "that's me comforting her! sister daniela is very close to both sister imperator and i. she's been struggling with some pretty... sensitive things lately, and i was making sure she was feeling alright! we weren't... we weren't trying to do anything! i swear it! how can i... can i even prove it?!"

“stop lying to me please…they have more.” you swipe and show him the second picture.

"w-what!?" terzo stuttered. he grabbed the phone and looked at the picture in sheer disbelief. his jaw dropped. oh no. this is bad, this is really bad. but... terzo was a quick thinker. "you- no... this is- this is a deepfaked image! i would never do that with sister daniela!" he said confidently, "i would never do that with anyone that's not you!" a tear slipped out of your eye. “why would someone do that…?” you whispered.

"because they want to spread lies! i'm papa. i'm a public figure. people want to tear me down, and you, you foolish idiot, you just blindly believe in whatever anyone tells you!" terzo shouted, "i would never cheat on you! do you... do you even trust me??" when he called you an idiot it hurt, you told him how you hated being called anything that had to do with your intelligence. your ex wasn’t a good person, he always degraded you and made you feel like you were nothing.

“i did trust you! since you want to keep blatantly lying to me, here’s a video!” your emotions started to take over as you showed him the video.

for the first time in all of his life, papa emeritus the third was speechless. he stared into the phone, frozen completely into place. his eyes seemed to bulge out of his head. after several seconds had passed, he swallowed hard and spoke quietly, "that... that... there's..." he sighed, "it's... true."

you backed away from him. “how could you! you…you said you loved me!” the tears started to fall. you hated to show your vulnerability, especially in a situation like this. "it was just... just a one time thing! i- i didn't mean it! she was just so sad... and she... it meant nothing! it was just one time!" terzo begged your forgiveness, "i swear it won't happen again! it meant nothing! it won't happen again! i promise you! just, please, forgive me! PLEASE!"

“yeah…you’re right…it wont happen again because this,” you gestured in between both of you, “this is over.” you turned to leave but terzo grabbed your forearm.

terzo gasped. he couldn't believe you would say such a thing! tears filling his eyes, "NO! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE!" he pleaded like a child, "I BEG YOU!!!"

“get off of me! if you loved me, you wouldn’t have fucked another!” you yelled at him, letting him know how bad he fucked up.

before he could speak there was a knock at the door.

his eyes were glossed over as you walk to the door. to your luck, it was the topic of the hour. sister daniela. “is terzo is here?” her voice was like sandpaper to your ears. “yes, he’s here.” terzo said meekly. “what do you want?” he couldn’t help but give a nasty tone to his question. why is she even here? what does she have to say about this? this was just a one time mistake that meant nothing! it's not even like it was planned or anything... it's just... that she's sad! i was just comforting her! i didn't mean for it to turn into THAT! i didn't mean for it to turn into anything!, he thought.

you step aside and let the sister walk in. she harshly shoved your shoulder and gave you a smirk. "oh, you have to be kidding me..." terzo mumbled in annoyance, "get out! get out!" He pointed to the door, trying desperately to get rid of her, "this has NOTHING to do with you! just... just get out, you..." he tried to think of something mean to say, but couldn't think of anything, so he finished with, "...brat!"

the sister looked shocked at his sudden outburst, “but…but terzo…” you stared at the two of them.

"yes? what? what do you want!?" terzo yelled, clearly getting more and more upset by her presence, "go on! spit it out already! what is it that you want!?" he tried as desperately to hold back, "just get to the point, you... you... BITCH!"

sister daniela look as if she was about to cry, “never mind you asshole! i should’ve never fucked you!” she started stomping towards the door. before she left she got up in your face. it took everything in you to not fuck her up. “oh and by the way, he said that you could never compare to what i gave him.” with that she left.

terzo stood still for several seconds after the door had slammed shut. a million words ran through his head, but none of them made it out of his mouth. he was stunned into silence... and then he was mad. "that BITCH! that SCULLION! that SLUT! i'll show her! i can't believe she's this petty!" he stormed a couple steps towards the door, "i'll show her... i'll show everyone!”

“show everyone what exactly? that you’re nothing but a liar and a cheat.” you were tired. tired of all of this. "do you seriously think i care what people think?!” He snapped, pacing back and forth, “im papa, don’t you forget that! i have a responsibility… a mission! one that’s much bigger than some stupid little cheating scandal! i’ve got the whole world to enlighten!” He shouted, then he began to grin, “i’m gonna use this as marketing! shat a scandalous papa am i!”

“i should’ve never loved you…this was the biggest mistake i’ve ever made.” your words were laced with venom.

he felt his heartbreak. “w-what?” he clutched his chest, the pain feels physical. “i thought what we had was special? how…how could i have been so stupid?”

you laughed in disbelief, “how could you be stupid?! i gave this relationship all i had for a year! a year terzo!!”

“i know… i… i was wrong! i was... i was so wrong! i'm… SORRY!” Terzo sobbed, trying to get the right words out, “i just… i just…” Terzo curled up into the fetal position on the floor, “i can’t…” He began to hyper-ventilate.

you stare at him, “satanas you’re pathetic..”

terzo's jaw dropped as you spoke. " you're cruel..." he wiped a string of tears from his eyes, "i... i can't believe this. how could you be so... cold? i just... how could you?"

“need i remind you that you’re the one that cheated!? and i’m the cold one? really!?”

"I-I KNOW I'M THE CHEATER! BUT YOU'RE... YOU'RE THE coldest person i've ever met in my LIFE! *and ive met some people!" the pope shouted, "SO YES, FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN WHY ARE YOU SO COLD!?. WHAT'S YOUR DEAL!?"

“i am only giving you the same amount of treatment you have been giving me!”

"THAT'S A PILE OF BULL!" the papa yelled, "I WOULD NEVER BE AS COLD AS YOU!" he stood up, pointing a shaking finger at you, "you're so cold you're a monster! you're no better than the rest of humanity!" he spat, "you just play the role of 'the good girl’ but you're just as cruel and heartless as the rest of... everyone." he finished, tears filling his eyes once more, "i... i didn't wanna say this... but I've always known it."

you got up in his face, feeling his breath fanning yours. “all you did was lie to me…all you did was hurt me…and IM the fucking monster? really!?”

"YES!" the pope yelled, "YES YOU ARE! you're a monster! you're a cold hearted, unfeeling, heartless monster and i don't know why i didn't see it for so long!" he laughed in bitter annoyance, "is that what you want me to say? i'm a lying cheating bastard and you're a *saint!?"* He scoffed, "well, good for you! you're right! i am a lying cheating bastard, and you... are a cold hearted, unfeeling, heartless monster. congratulations."

“I NEVER SAID I WAS A FUCKING SAINT! BUT ME BEING HEARTLESS IS NOTHING BUT FUCKING BULLSHIT! ALL I GAVE TO YOU WAS LOVE TERZO! WHEN SISTERS AND BROTHERS OF SIN THREW THEMSELVES AT ME I NEVER ONCE THOUGH ABOUT PERUSING THEM!” your noses were practically touching.

"OH, DON'T YOU BRING THEM INTO THIS, YOU HYPOCRITE!" terzo yelled, "you and i BOTH know i could bring up something from your past here, but I'm not THAT petty... but o should be, because you aren't worthy of being treated with even an ounce of respect! you deserve to be mocked and laughed at, so you can fully understand what you've done to me! YOU ARE A HEARTLESS, COLD-HEARTED FIEND!!! AND DON'T YOU COME CRYING BACK TO ME WHEN NO ONE ELSE WANTS YOU!"

he reminded you of your ex. it’s fully broke your heart.

“FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A JOKE! EVERYONE IN THE MINISTRY THINKS THAT YOURE ONLY GOOD FOR SEX! THATS ALL PEOPLE THINK OF YOU! YOURE NOTHING BUT A PATHETIC JOKE OF A POPE!” you couldn’t take it anymore, you spat at him, tears flowing down your face.

terzo gasped as his heart shattered? into a million pieces. he didn't know which was worse... the heartbreak of realizing that the one person he ever really loved didn't love him back, or the heartbreak of realizing that others never loved nor respected him back.

the truth of what she was saying was way more painful than she could imagine...

The pope fell to his knees, sobbing, "n–no... no, it's not true... i-i'm..." he fell to his side, bawling uncontrollably, "I'm nothing but a-a joke?"

“i set everything aside to love you…to show people that you’re better than that. that you’re a good guy….but…they’re right.”

"they're right..." he mumbled, lying completely prone on the ground. he tried to speak... but his words were only a garbled mess of tears and snot, "i-i'm... I'm nothing but a joke and a-a joke like me... doesn't deserve love..." the pope started to laugh as all the pain and hurt and anger and fear and sadness all built inside him, "i-i don't deserve love, do i?" His words seemed to turn into a mix between crying and laughing, "no... no one... deserves a freak... like me..."

“have fun with your pathetic life…this is the last time you’ll be seeing me… have a terrible night terzo.” you turned at left. slamming the door. you walked outside the venue and completely broke down. all of it hurt too much. the love of your life….cheated on you…called you an idiot….and a monster..

terzo watched you leave... still just lying there on the floor. he curled himself up and kept crying. It's... it's true... he didn't deserve love... he was a freak. was sister y/n right? did everyone think he was worthless? was... was that why no one took him seriously?

"f-freak..." he whispered to himself, his self esteem broken in a million little pieces...

"that's all i'll ever be... a pathetic.…freak...”

——————————————

my guilty pleasure is writing angst. anyway lmk if you enjoyed this!

[ihearttweek]

creek smut | rough sex | but ultimately super sappy, they’re in love

formatted version on ao3 : here

5k :3

tweek was pretty fucking fed up with this.

he stood tiredly, and very much– aggravated ( for a lack of a better word ), in the doorway of their office. it was originally just another bedroom, barely, it was barely bordering on the size of someone’s closet. craig worked languidly at his laptop, groaning into his palms.

because unlike tweek, he’s a notorious procrastinator. he wasn’t in top of his shit 24/7 like he is. it takes him all the way up until receiving a very passive aggressive email from one of his classmates to get his shit together and bullshit his way through another assignment.

well, one of the perks of being decently smart is that he half-assed well enough to always pass. but, still not smart enough to take account of deadlines. he’d spend days giving it a ; “good look over”, as he called it, and the other small part actually doing it.

the sound of metal clinking brought him up out of his hands, looking over his shoulder and swiveling his chair back. tweek. tweek was stirring a mug full of tea for himself, and carried another, hooking his fingers of the same hand into the handle. craig lazily smiled.

“hey, babe,” he motioned for tweek to come closer. he did not. “sleep well?”

tweek humph-ed at him, resting a hand onto his hip. very straightforwardly, he said “fuck you.” craig’s smile dropped. he furrowed his brows at him.

“what?” despite this, tweek still came to set craig’s tea onto the desk. craig pat his hip in appreciation, but tweek shimmied away from him. this was very confusing, too many mixed signals. “baby, what’s the matter?”

“you keep leaving me lonely all night, man.” tweek mumbled in annoyance. craig grabbed for him, but tweek refused to budge. “you can’t keep doing this shit,” he gestured to the chair, his hands moving more furiously while he talked. common signs of a pissed off tweek. craig was a little intimidated. “‘cause you complain about your back hurting and shit. and being tired. and i fucking miss you.”

craig frowned. “‘m not doin’ it on purpose, honey, i’m sorry.” but tweek just huffed at him indignantly. “don’t be like this. please.” tweek gave him an unwavering stare for a solid few seconds. until, finally, he sighed aloud.

craig got hopeful. “whatever,” the bite behind it stung, and that hope was soon gone, that just made it worse. tweek turned harshly to leave, but craig made grabby-hands for him like a toddler. tweek stayed in the doorway again. “what do you want?” he sounded frustrated, his voice nearly breaking. he wasn’t as angry as he was just plain upset.

“for you to lose the fucking attitude?” craig shot back instantly. whoops. tweek turned back again, more erratically and fueled. “wait- fuck,” tweek, by some grace of god, turned back.

the undeniable sadness in his eyes just made craig ache. he extended out his leg a bit, patting his thigh for tweek to sit. “stay with me?”

“i don’t want to watch you do this all day again.” his fingers clutched at the doorframe. craig let out a shaky sigh, putting out his hands sort of just feeling defeated. tweek prodded him with a look, he quirked his brow at him expectantly. craig sighed again.

“i don’t know.” he said. tweek stood there a little longer, letting his arms fall loosely at his sides.

eventually, he trudged over to accept craig’s invite into his lap. craig’s arms were promptly around him , seeking contact from his body– he was worried, sue him. a small kiss was placed into his blonde hair, but tweek dropped his head and ultimately avoided it. craig was, now, even more crushed.

“tweek.” he persisted. tweek gave a short whine. his body was trembling, this could mean nothing good. this meant tweek was already pushed past saving him from a breakdown. this meant craig was in trouble. he was fucked. craig’s insides just coiled further. “come on. stop this.”

“stop what?” tweek said petulantly. craig brushed his fingers along his shoulder, and tweek was squirming. but craig wasn’t planning on just letting him go. tweek gave a few meager inept punches to his shoulder. craig only held him tighter to his chest.

tweek, subsequently, just gave up. his ultimately smaller body had no use fighting out of his resilient hold. he slumped into his arms instead. “talk to me, baby.” craig murmured. “please?”

it didn’t take long for a sob to tear through tweek. his shoulders shook with effort, hiccuping weakly. “you don’t want me anymore.” his voice was so small and pitiful.

“what?” craig sputtered. “tweek, you’re insane.”

tweek persisted. “you don’t. you don’t spend time with me. you don’t love me,” craig shushed him from delving into his mantra, but that only seemed to frustrate him worse.

“don’t, baby. please,” craig’s hands clung to tweek’s sweater for comfort.

“i miss us.” tweek continued.

“babe,”

“you don’t come lay with me anymore.”

“tweek.”

“you don’t love me like you used to. you don’t even touch me like you used to.”

“honey,”

“you didn’t eat with me last night, even.” tweek cried into his chest. “you barely kiss me. we haven’t had sex in weeks, craig.”

craig cupped his face, firmly. “tweek.” tweek stopped. he just sniffled. “stop it.” he lifted tweek by the chin to face him, swiping a tear from his cheek. tweek’s frown deepened. “you’re horribly wrong, i still love you, babe. it’s not your fault.” he leaned in to gently peck his lips, but tweek dodged it.

“you’re an asshole.” tweek weakly punched into craig’s chest again. and, craig let him. “i hate you right now.” well, there was a ‘right now’ bit, at least.

craig held him again, tweek writhing and fighting against him. “i know.” he sighed. “i’m sorry. it’s got nothing to do with you. i wanna fix this, but you have to let me.” it took a little for tweek to still his fists. he looked defeated, now.

a few beats of silence. the tension was palpable, and craig despised it. “okay?” he tried.

tweek slumped further into him, his nose smushed into his chest. “i don’t know what to say.” craig brought him back up to look at him. craig kissed his temple, and tweek actually let him this time around.

“stay with me, please? we can watch something. do you wanna watch something?” craig soothed tweek’s scalp, slowly twisting at the strands of his hair.

tweek diminished into his hand. “nuh uh,” he murmured almost childishly.

“what do you wanna do?” he didn’t say anything for a little, and tweek began to shift up out of his lap silently. “babe?”

“i’m tired,” he persisted on trying to get up. craig still was firm. “i want to go to bed.”

“i’ll come with you,” craig reached a hand out for his laptop to tilt the screen about 45 degrees. tweek snatched at his wrist.

“no.”

“no?”

“no. we can talk later.” by that, it meant tweek would go wallow away for the entire day. and once it sank in again, he’d be more agitated than now. and that sort of levels is good for nobody involved.

tweek was just plain being petty now. craig was not having it.

he grabbed tweek’s chin again, stroking his jaw. “stop.” craig gave him a hard glare that made tweek stiffen. it gave him full body chills. “quit fighting me.”and he slowly captured his lips in a fervent kiss. so much so it made tweek whimper against his lips.

and, tweek was kissing back pretty much instantaneously.

craig was pouring every last bit of all of his emotions into it, clutching tweek’s jaw and carding his fingers into tweek’s hair. craig forgot how good it felt to make out with his boyfriend. tweek was sucking at his bottom lip like a fucking leech, lapping his tongue around his mouth and making small mewls into it which craig happily swallowed into the back of his throat. he has really missed this.

craig ran his hands down his body, caressing his back. their teeth were clicking, missing each others lips, bumping noses and saliva pooling. it felt like they were inexperienced teenagers again. where it felt it was fueled by the anticipatory, perfervid hunger, and excitement of having close contact with each other.

and yeah, hormones, too. craig was, now, also helplessly horny, and tweek wasn’t helping any. the want to hold onto his body was now mixed with the need to hold his body down and fuck into him for the rest of the morning.

his lips were quickly coaxing tweek to sag into him, breathing hard out his nose. craig felt it tickle the skin of his cheek. tweek’s shaking hands found purchase in the fabric of craig’s sweats, pinching and pulling. his petty demeanor was being melded away at, his fingernails digging into craig’s thighs and gently rocking his hips into him. the slightest bit of affection given, and tweek would be all his.

and thinking back to what tweek was upset about; yeah, craig came up empty in trying to recount the last time he truly paid any kind of this attention towards him. it explained his eagerness. ( both of theirs, truthfully. ) tweek was missing getting kissed goodnight. getting held in craig’s arms to help him sleep. all of that, obviously, but he was also missing out on an overdue satisfying pounding.

he was being deprived, unfairly. he likes to think he has every right to be this greedy straight of the bat. sometimes, he just wants dick, dammit. that’s fair.

craig was the first to pull back, quick to move down to his neck and press wet, messy kisses to any exposed skin. he toyed with the hem of his sweater, before insistently tugging on it. “take your fucking clothes off.” he mumbled into tweek’s ear, giving it a quick nip as he yanked his boyfriend closer, curling one arm under tweek’s waist and bracing him back onto the desk behind them, pressing his back flat into it.

tweek didn’t exactly process it all that quick, instead mewling in surprise. “now.” he urged hastily. when tweek finally acquiesced it, craig was already shoving it off his body himself and discarding it off to the floor. he was wasting no time. craig was usually slow with him.

with tweek’s torso being exposed, craig dropped his head to his neck again, nipping at his skin briskly, rubbing circles into his prominent hipbones. tweek’s body twitched needily, ankles locking around craig’s body, hand clutching to the top of the desk for leverage. craig worked his teeth into his pale skin, glistening already with a light sheen of sweat, utterly fixated on marking the entire expanse of his flesh.

craig finally trailed from the of fragile skin of tweek’s protruding collarbone to the base of his sternum. he lingered there long enough to inhale deeply through his nose, gaze flickering up to tweek’s face. so pretty, and already ruined. bringing a hand up from tweek’s hip, he deliberately flicked over his nipple with his thumb. tweek unconsciously kicked out a leg and let out a strained, strangled sob, shivering in oversensitivity already.

craig gave a few more hard periods of his sinking his teeth into various parts of his shallow stomach, relishing in how his muscles twitched. he alternated between his nipples for a minute or so, and then tapped his side, signaling for him to turn over. but tweek just mewled dumbly, brain already scrambled. craig stopped touching him, which made tweek cry out again. some tears wet tweek’s bottom lashes as he wailed from the sudden loss of contact.

“huh?” tweek whimpered. craig simply just chose to grab him firmly by his hips, manhandling him and maneuvering him over. craig pushed his knee under him to hold him up momentarily, tweek’s body becoming easily pliable for craig to meld. craig gave an appreciative slap to his thigh, hooking his fingers into the waistband of tweek’s boxers and pulling them to just about half past his thighs. craig caressed the back of one, his hand almost big enough to cover the entire circumference of it. he smirked, pleased with himself to feel how hard tweek’s legs were already trembling.

with his other hand, he spread open tweek’s ass. digging into the soft flesh firmly, appreciating his body. he’s a bony little thing, sure, but he’s got an ass on him. tweek wriggled his hips back to obediently present himself to craig, peeking back behind his shoulder to look at him.

craig took a few more seconds to salivate over him, and then clapped the side of it appreciatively. it elicited an obscenely loud slap, making tweek flinch on impact, eyes fluttering closed and jaw clenching. what was left behind was a pink handprint. craig smiled a bit, pleased with himself.

“craig,” tweek mewled, gyrating his hips back over craig’s knee. craig huffed, getting to his knees, hands holding tweek against the desk firmly. he didn’t hesitate to sink his fucking teeth into him. after a series of fruitless kicks of protest from tweek, craig just continued, leaving harsh marks right into him. eating his ass, literally, if you will. no? alright.

no matter how hard tweek tried to pull away, craig wouldn’t let him. tweek did enjoy the sensation of craig’s large, calloused hands caressing his sides and his thumbs pressing harshly into his spine. craig began to slide his tongue over him, too, and tweek groaned in satisfaction. he reached one of his own hands back to hold into craig’s hair, gripping hard into the curls and twisting his fingers through them.

much too focused on the task at hand, craig’s tongue was everywhere now, lapping over every part of tweek’s ass. except, he was diligently neglecting his hole. tweek let out another squeal. craig had the urge to give grace for what he was being presented, tweek was fucking unreal. mentally laughing in his mind, he did. he’s a good religious boy at heart, his mother would be proud.

gracias señor por estos alimentos. he stared at how tweek 's soft, pretty cock was weeping cum onto the desk. y bendice las manos que los prepararon ( not really, fuck his parents.) taking note of the fact the he was completely fucking shaven. how long had he’d been anticipating this? amen. releasing a hand from tweek’s side, craig gently cupped his balls, gradually applying pressure with his fingertips and then pinching softly at the skin of his perineum.

tweek was twitching too hard to make it really easy, and craig was only teasing. he wasn’t going out of his way to pay attention to what he really wanted craig to. craig was usually the insistently giving type, but not now. craig could be petty, too.

once he pulled back from him, the scene displayed out was rewarding. overwhelmingly so. tweek had red and purpling teeth marks all over his milky, supple skin. they’d be there for a while, and them bruising would have to hurt, craig supposed. he reminded himself mentally to make sure to give tweek a lot more extra kisses and a nice, sympathetic back rub after this. he would need it. and maybe dinner, too.

he instinctively went to kiss the weltering marks, gently pecking a few. to be a little nicer, he looped an arm under tweek’s body and wrapped his fingers around tweek’s cock. he was aching already. he gave a few gentle tugs, and rolled his thumb around the pink slit. with his free hand, he tugged on the back of tweek’s head by his hair, forcing his head up. he leaned over to meet his ear, sucking at it before grunting.

“you’re so eager for me, hmm?” tweek nodded absentmindedly. “you want this so bad don’t you? such a good fucking boy.”

with the combination of the previous stimulation from grinding over craig’s knee, and this, it sent tweek spasming quickly, crying loudly with sobs racking his body as he came into craig’s hand right on the words. quick, thick spurts covered his fingers and a few stray drops landed onto the desk beneath him. craig grinned puckishly, tenaciously working his thumb on the swollen tip for a prolonged amount of time.

“craig, nghh, please, please,” he sobbed, he sounded wrecked. his raspy, shaky cries stirred all of craig’s insides up. craig didn’t let up, not until tweek’s muscles clamped so hard that his legs locked tight. in the darkened screen of craig’s laptop, he could see the reflection of tweek’s blissed out face. brows knitted together, eyes glazed over and brimming with tears, mouth slack. completely just, perfect.

he looked like he was on some kind of high, his drained out eyes were fixated now, looking straight into craig’s soul. his eyes are so fucking alluring, it’s downright unfair. ( and cruel, honestly, his dick could barely keep up. ) tweek was a fucking beautiful mess. his entire body was trembling and quivering, craig wanted to fold him over and fuck into his smaller frame until he broke. fucking christ, he looked good like this.

craig didn’t plan on giving him any pity for being pretty, however. craig used the middle finger of his left hand, dripping with tweek’s cum, to gently trace a circle around his pink, exposed hole. just on the outside of the puckered ring, not quite able to penetrate him more than just with the tip of his finger. tweek whimpered, another feeble cry tearing through him. tears spilling and running down his flushed cheeks, temple gleaming with sweat, drips of spit hanging off his bottom lip. sweat soaked his hair and it matted against his forehead. so sensitive without even getting properly fucked yet.

craig was instantly slamming open a drawer within the desk looking for anything to use as lube. there weren’t many options. tweek’s needy little noises were being drowned out by the sound of useless clattering. there was a small vat of unscented hand lotion. would have to do. another mental reminder to make tweek something decent for breakfast, too. and watch house hunters with him.

craig unscrewed the lid and slicked up his index, middle, and ring fingers. it was thick, and cold. he slid his middle finger inside of tweek, using the lotion as lubrication. he got it down to about his knuckle, tweek was sucking him in. he was fucking tight. that both intimidated him and aroused him. it felt like his dick was nearly swollen with arousal already, pulsing and throbbing within the constraints of his clothes. tweek was too short for him to really be able to reach craig’s pelvis. that made it so craig was unable to grind up into him or anything, so he had to make it quick.

which was sort of unfortunate for craig, he was trying to prolong this for as long as possible and give his same energy back. he loves tweek, god, does he— but he’s a brat. and, tweek also makes him terribly horny terribly quick. watching tweek come apart, twitching and groaning and moaning, from such simple gestures was way too easy for him. and that got craig going every single time.

craig gave him no real time to adjust, quickly squeezing in his ring finger. it was honestly a struggle. craig took a hand and placed it firmly onto tweek’s shoulder, pushing his own body back to create a little gap for more arm room.

he gradually is picking up the pace with his fingers, a loud squelching noise following. it isn’t like tweek doesn’t know how to take dick– he’s gripping around him and releasing, but he’s not relaxing. “jesus, tweek. when’s the last time you opened yourself up?” he’s gently stroking his back now to try and soothe him a little. he wasn’t a total asshole.

tweek grunted, knees almost buckling. “ngh, other night, dunno.”

craig lovingly pinched his side. “you’re clamping down on me. guess your just a natural fucking whore,” he slipped in his last finger. it was mean– or sounded that way. but craig knows tweek likes it, he shuddered, getting all bambi legged, almost toppling over. craig would have to help support him eventually.

his poor boyfriend was writhing and sobbing, blubbering and hiccuping, throat raw and hoarse. usually, when tweek was crying, his instinct is to hold him all protective like. but that was a different kind of cry. that was a ‘holy shit i am going to explode’ kind of cry. this was a ‘holy shit i am going to explode. but in a good way’, kind of cry. but still craig had the instinct to get all lovey-dovey on him, gently kissing him up and telling him he’s gonna be okay, praising him.

but he still jammed in and out of tweek, all until his ass felt less constricted, just the slightest bit. keeping his fingers in, he shuffled back up to tweek. tweek struggled, but he got onto his tip-toes, this made it so his ass bumped just below his cock. craig let out the quietest groan, removing his fingers and ignoring the way tweek wailed about it, and wiped them down tweek’s lean thigh.

craig untied his sweats, tugging them til they were bunched at his ankles, and in a hurried swoop, did the same with his boxers.

tweek shivered in absolute fear ( and delight ) at the feeling of craig’s cock slapping just over his back. he whimpered, in concern for himself, because fuck is he hard. tweek was dubious on if he’d be able to walk very well, let alone stand. judging on craig’s previous roughness, it wasn’t likely.

if craig didn’t know better and wasn’t already used to it, the sight of just how fucking huge his dick looked laying flat against tweek’s back should’ve been uncanny. and not to say that it wasn’t, it absolutely was. it nudged just to a few inches below the middle of tweek’s back. it was abnormal how tweek was able to take it, craig would’ve felt horrible if he didn’t know how much tweek liked it.

craig began to slather up his own cock with the remnants of what was left in the tub of lotion, grunting at how bad he needed it. he was aching. tweek eagerly wiggled back into him.

usually, they were accustomed to getting around their height difference. and not just sex wise, either. tweek was used to having to tug craig down for kisses and such, he’d never stop complaining about it ever since craig did gain his growth spurt. there was nothing craig could really do other than take it, i mean, wasn’t his fault his dad was an enormous guy.

however, right now, it was pretty apparent. and sort of an issue, tweek wouldn’t be able to keep up on his toes, that’s for damn sure. craig thought for a moment, and suddenly, gripped tweek below the waist and lifting him up from the floor ever so slightly. tweek kicked his feet a bit disgruntled. with no warning, craig prodded tweek’s hole for a second, or two, and then just shoved right in. tweek sputtered out a cry so high in volume it was barely even registered as audible.

craig’s fingers stay put, dragging along just above his pelvis, just barely missing his cock. all on purpose. as he scraped his dick in further, he felt a bump protruding from the little cavity that was tweek’s stomach from his cock pounding into him. jesus christ.

“good fucking boy,” he punctuated each word with a slam into his ass, digging his nails into tweek’s skin. tweek just went completely limp, his limbs sagging uselessly. to be honest, he sort of felt like a fleshlight. both because of the way he was being held, and also of the way he was being fucked into relentlessly. craig’s pace was brutal, and punishing. he felt delirious, and dizzy, a tiny bit.

craig tirelessly bounced him off and on his cock, a stinging sensation coursing through tweek’s body. not in a way that hurt too bad, but just, overwhelming? his legs were shaking, having nothing to rest onto. it was a lot for tweek, which made it all the more nice for craig to watch. and to feel the way he would react to his every stroke.

beads of sweat forming along craig’s forehead from the intensity. he was getting a tad weak in the knees, too. half of his strength was going to keeping tweek up. the other half was going to thrusting into him as fast as he was. eventually, he hoisted tweek up enough to balance him back on one knee, looping an arm securely around his waist. he took his now free hand and gripped onto tweek’s hair, tipping his head back.

craig bit down onto his ear, causing tweek to jerk in shock. the biting soon turned into nibbling, working the lobe tediously between his teeth. craig began scratching, digging his nails into his scalp. it was going until tweek was wincing, biting on his bottom lip. it almost drew blood.

craig grunted loudly, losing his hold with his teeth. he panted into tweek’s ear. “you fucking wanted this to happen, didn’t you?” tweek simply whimpered in response, clutching desperately at craig’s wrist. the hair pulling did somewhat hurt, he had a tender scalp from years of abusing it when he was little, ( sometimes now, even ). “i think you did.”

in contrast, however, craig was giving him gentle pecks to the side of his face following each heavy thrust. tweek already felt thoroughly used, his body just dangling, he felt like some sort of ragdoll. body shaking with sobs. but, he felt good, he didn’t want craig to stop. the pressure of craig’s hips slamming against his aching prostate was heavenly. tweek had been craving this, wanting this. he just forgot that craig could drive him this crazy. he liked being worn out like this.

craig grabbed him closer, somehow, and pulled out half way before slamming back in. tweek kicked a bit involuntarily, his mouth going agape, eyes crossing, saliva threatening to leave his lips.

craig was close. he’s been close ever since tweek was gyrating onto his thigh. seeing him desperate is his thing. to be fair, tweek is just kind of his thing. tweek could do anything during sex and he’d be more than happy to endure it, he thinks. his insides were coiling. he wasn’t sure how much longer he had. or how much more strength he had left.

tweek’s body was pulling back, clamping over craig’s cock. “craig,” he had other words to say, but he couldn’t articulate them. they turned into incomprehensible murmurs and cries. craig pulled on his hair and turned his head to the side, kissing him.

it was mostly tongue. craig kept tweek’s head firm with the grip on his hair. tweek was clumsily missing his mouth. mainly cut off by all of the noises leaving his lips. he was losing his voice. he couldn’t muster anything more than stupid whimpers and mumbling craig’s name. craig was giving him gentle kisses along his bottom lip and chin, not minding the copious amount of saliva. he looked beautiful all fucked out.

tweek’s eyes unfocused, drooping, and stuttering closed as he came again. his dick went flaccid, cum painting the underside of his stomach and the desk. craig huffed heavily at the tightening sensation. he dropped tweek’s hair and focused all of his last bits of strength into holding him around the middle, securing him to the flat top.

his fingertips almost touched. that was fucking insane.

craig let out a long, extensive strings of curses. he locked his knees to hold himself firmly to the ground, sinking down to lay his chest over tweek’s back and biting into tweek’s shoulder. tweek couldn’t do anything other than moan and cry, hands trembling along with literally every other one of the muscles in his body. still spasming and fluttering around craig’s vigorous, relentless movements. his head lolled over the cool surface beneath him.

craig was losing his composure, the anticipation of his orgasm making him cave. with a stuttering, harsh series of pulling tweek back down onto his cock, tweek struggling to keep taking it. he bit down onto tweek’s shoulder harder, letting a muffled “fuck.” strain through his lips as he unloaded into him. his calves strained, struggling to stay up. he leaned a bit more into tweek, searching for support, despite tweek being the one relying off of craig’s.

panting, he let his head hang. sweaty, warm, tight, holy fuck.

what pulled him from it was tweek’s unfaltering sobs. the protectiveness consumed craig again. he used his very last ounce of strength to carefully slip out of tweek, giving a few final tugs on his sensitive cock, letting the last drops of his release falling over tweek’s back. taking a quick second to look him over, he gave a gentle pat to his side, huffing out a breath and linking his arms underneath tweek’s, pulling him off the desk and hosting him up into his arms.

tweek let out hoarse little cries, and craig gently shushed them, wiping his weeping eyes with his thumb. “you did so good. so good.” tweek clutched onto his wrist for comfort. “did i hurt you? are you okay?”

tweek tiredly shook his head no. craig continued to wipe away his tears, half stumbling and half trying to retain his current strength enough to sit down into the rickety office chair. craig held him close, tweek bunching his knees to his chest to cover his shaking body. he felt vulnerable. he was quite physically exposed.

craig exhaled, and nudged his nose into tweek’s neck and kissed him, letting his lips stay firm. tweek relaxed enough to crane his neck and let his head rest atop of craig’s. tweek gently played with craig’s hair for comfort, still recovering.

they sat in silence, breathing hard. and after a second, craig stirred back up and nudged his knee into tweek’s leg resting over it. “shower?”

“please,” craig smiled a little, stroking tweek’s skin. “i love you, stop being a dick,” he said, chuckling breathlessly.

craig hummed a bit. “i love you too.” he kissed his neck again, and then got up with tweek in his arms towards the bathroom.

[traegorn]

1) do we need liability/release forms

2) compensation for guests?

3) recommendations on easy to learn audio editing software. Audacity is scary.

4) a lot of these people are coming from different starting points and all at varying stages of their journey. Is there a way to get ahead of the “you’re doing it wrong” people in the comments if we make it all public?

🙏thank you

Do we need liability/release forms? Probably not, but if you're worried it's an easy thing to do. There are plenty of free boiler plate versions online. The reason you'd want liability/release forms for a podcast is if you're concerned someone might resent the way they were presented afterwards and sue. Having releases protects you against that.

Compensation for guests? I wouldn't. I mean, I'm just going to tell you flat out -- this podcast will likely not make any money. Statistically like 99% of podcasts will never make a penny. And that's okay. It sounds like you're doing this for the purpose of community and posterity, which is good and noble. But it means it won't generate the revenue to pay someone either. I've never paid a single guest on any of my podcasts. I've also never been paid for any of my guest appearances on other people's podcasts.

Recommendations on easy to learn audio editing software. Audacity is scary. Okay, so this is where I'm a bit less helpful. I'm primarily a Mac user, and GarageBand just sort of comes with every Mac for free. It's easy to use and more than enough to edit most podcasts. But I'm betting you don't have a Mac. Audacity is an incredibly powerful piece of software (I actually use it for noise removal on my raw audio files still), but yeah -- it's intimidating. Trust me though, it's worth investing the time to learn it. It can do things that software that costs hundreds of dollars can do, and its free.

A lot of these people are coming from different starting points and all at varying stages of their journey. Is there a way to get ahead of the “you’re doing it wrong” people in the comments if we make it all public? Yeah, don't allow comments. It's a podcast, most folks will be listening with a podcatcher, and there literally won't be a way for them to leave comments. Like yeah, we have comments open on Nerd & Tie Network shows -- but, like, no one ever leaves them. BS-Free Witchcraft has literally thousands of regular listeners, and none of them ever leave comments on the site.

[jupiterwrites99]

You're On Your Own, Kid

Chapter 3

Waking up alone in the quiet room wasn’t exactly what the young girl had expected. Sage thought that they would have a guard dog on her at all times after she had tried to escape. She sat up, noticing the chair Paul had been sitting in was still in place beside her bed, but he was no longer there. A full glass of water, however, was next to it on the side table.

The wolf cooed at the gesture.

Sage made her way into the living room to find Paul's sleeping figure on the rustic couch. He looked so peaceful. No angry lines, or locked jaw. He looked much younger asleep, though she had a tough time deciphering his age.

Clenching her fingers at her side, her inner turmoil worsened. As much as she wanted to leave, to be on her own again where it was safer, she can’t leave him. Not with the way her wolf was whining so loudly. If it trusts him, then she should too. They’ve never been on the same page on the topic of trust, now's a good time to start considering her wolf hasn't let her down yet.

Listening to the soft sounds of his breathing, Sage sits on the floor next to the couch. She had decided that sleep wasn’t needed, she had practically slept all day anyways. But there was no way she was going back into that room where she could easily be locked away at Sam or Sues account. She didn’t trust them. She couldn’t.

It's better than the bed, she decided as she laid down. She pulled her knees to her chest, curling up into a ball.

Another thing she had to learn quite quickly, don’t let your weak spots be exposed when relaxing. One claw to the stomach and she’d be a goner. That, she knew from experience.

She purposefully listened to the sound of Paul's heartbeat, the steady rhythm providing more comfort than she could understand. She enjoyed knowing he could relax and sleep peacefully, even if it meant being on a couch that was two sizes too small for him.

Though, the wolf made it clear why it wanted to stay, humming one word she never thought she would hear again.

Mate.

Blinking her eyes open, the morning sun stunned her eyes.

Sun? Here? In La Push?

She stretched her limbs only to be tangled up in a blanket. She noticed she was now on the couch and Paul was nowhere to be found.

Great. He left me alone, she thought.

Sage could hear Paul and Emily bickering on the other side of the wall, though she was confused at the context of their conversation. She tiptoed around, if she’s quiet enough she can sneak out the door without either of them hearing. Or so she hoped.

“Don’t be an insensitive klutz, is all I’m saying. That's the last thing she needs right now.” Emily mused, it didn’t sound like an insult. Whatever an insensitive klutz is. It sounded like a mother reprimanding her son. 

Emilys so young though, there's no way she’s his mother. 

Sister, maybe?

She could hear as Paul scoffed in annoyance, “I’m not.”

Emily was quick to put him in his place again, “Paul, you know you’re intimidating, you revel in it most days.”

“Not with her,” He stressed out.

Who is he talking about?

Sage tripped over her feet and put her hand on the wall to stop herself from falling. A small thud sounded on the impact she had made.

Fuck.

I can still make it, she thought.

She moved quickly in the direction of the open door. Do they always leave it open? 

A large figure rounded the corner, causing her to stop in her tracks. Looking up at Paul, his hair dishevelled and tired eyes. She let her eyes continue to travel down, still no shirt and sweatpants that hung low on his well defined hips. Very low.

Was she purring or was that the wolf?

Looking at her amused, Paul purposefully blocked her exit before he asked, “Hungry?”

Sage shook her head no.

He sighed, running his fingers through his black, cropped hair, “You barely ate yesterday, come eat something.”

Growling, she dug her heels into the ground like a little kid. All she wanted was to go outside and breathe some fresh air, away from these people who refused to let her leave. She could tell from the open windows that the sun was shining, a rarity in Washington. She didn’t want to be stuck indoors.

Taking a deep breath to clearly hide his annoyance, he muttered, “Sage,”

“Air,” She croaked out. Not knowing what else to say, she had never been much of a talker. Talking always got her in trouble. His intense stare made her nervous.

“Air?” He looked confused. What was so confusing about needing air? Everyone needs it.

“Fresh air, Paul.” Emily chimed in.

“No.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest, “Not after what you pulled yesterday.”

Sage frowned at his response. He’s gonna lock her back in that tiny, suffocating room.

Panic mode, activated.

Sage whipped her head around the room, looking for an alternative exit. Her breaths began to become shallow as she realised he truly was blocking her only real exit.

Try hurling yourself through the window, the wolf taunted.

“Calm down,” Paul said, placing a warm hand on her shoulder which she immediately jerked back from.

Now he’s frowning, “Fine. But just know, I am faster and stronger than you if you try to run.”

Wasn’t planning on it, buddy.

She sighed in relief as soon as the sun hit her skin, a smile gracing her face at the warm feeling. She hadn’t felt the sun on her bare skin in years. In wolf form, she liked the sun in small doses, overheating was easy and when you can’t find a consistent water source, it was deadly.

Sage was aware of the older man watching her every move, with each step his eyes followed.

She crouched to the ground to touch a small flower that had grown in the grass, or maybe it was a weed. Plucking it with her fingers, she used the pad of her index finger to feel its texture. Everything felt so foreign.

She wished she had pockets to stuff the tiny wildflower in.

Pauls got pockets, maybe he’ll -- Her thought was cut off as Emily began speaking to him in hushed tones. She turned to look at them and realised he was no longer watching her.

She watched them interact curiously as Emily handed him a piece of paper before scruffing his hair and heading back inside. Definitely his sister.

“Emily suggested I take you grocery shopping.” He said to her, his eyes flicking down to the small flower in her hand before looking at the paper in his, muttering,  “If you’re up for it.’

She walked towards him as she made a sound on content. Though she really just wanted to scope the town. Which roads lead where so when she did decide to leave, it wouldn’t be that hard.

Paul's eyes travelled down her body, making her squirm before he brought his eyes back up to hers, “You’ll need some pants.”

----

“What about these?” Paul asked, shaking a box of sugary cereal. They had been doing this for nearly ten minutes. He would point out a food item, ask if she wanted it and when she said no, he would bite back a groan while putting it back.

Sage shakes her head,

“Okay” He stopped abruptly, leaning against the card that was still empty even though they had been down nearly every aisle,  “What did you eat before you phased?”

“I don’t know.” She mumbled, looking away from his hard gaze.

“Come on, kid, give me something to work with.” Paul muttered.

Sage scowled at him, “I’m not a kid. I ate whatever I was given, I didn't have a choice.”

His eyes scanned her face as if he was thinking before looking down at the list in his hands, “I don’t know if you’ll like any of this, Sage.”

“I can find my own food.” Sage brooded, “I always have.”

“Always?” He asked shocked.

“Well, yeah.” She started “We’re wol--”

Paul's eyes widened as he realized what she was about to say. He quickly reached over and covered her mouth with the palm of his hand to cut her off. Sage glared at him before roughly pushing him away from her.

“What is your problem?!” She asked, annoyed by his actions.

“What is my problem? We’re in public, Sage. Keep your mouth shut.” He snapped back at her.

The younger girl huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, “You’re a fucking jerk.”

“Yeah, I’m a jerk,” Paul jeered, shaking his head with a laugh of disbelief, “Nothing new there, princess.”

“Fuck you,” Sage sneered before turning on her heel and walking out of the aisle. She could hear the string of curse words that left his mouth as she rounded out of the aisle, beeling it for the exit of the small grocery store. She ignored her wolf's voice in her head, pleading with her to turn around and go back to him but she had promised herself five years ago to never be somebody's doormat. She was stronger than that.

Stepping outside into the fresh air, she only made it a few steps before a warm hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her. Sage turned to see Paul. She couldn't read his expression, angry lines framed his already dark features but she could tell it wasn't just anger, there was something more.

“I think I liked you better yesterday.” He started.

Sage scoffed, “The feeling is mutual.”

The older wolf's jaw shifted at her response and she smirked, she liked that he was on edge around her. He was so much bigger and intimidating than she was but she was the one in control of her emotions making her less predictable.

“I'm sorry, Sage.” He apologized, though she could tell that it left a bitter taste in his mouth to be the one conceding, “Can we please finish grocery shopping before Emily wrings my neck?”

“Only if you stop calling me stupid names. I’m not a kid, and I’m not a princess.” She spoke harshly. She was a runt, she knew that. She had been told it for years by her own father. Sage wasn’t going to let her own mate treat her like one, not after how hard she fought to survive out on her own.

He nodded in response, “Won’t happen again.”

The two wolves walked silently next to each other as they re-entered the grocery store. Paul asked for a second time what she liked to eat, and to stop him from questioning her again, she picked the first thing she saw off the shelf and tossed it into the shopping cart. A bag of marshmallows.

Satisfied that Sage had picked out something that wasn’t on the list Emily had given him, he dragged her back down the aisles to fulfil the list. Grabbing heaps of vegetables and fruits, before stopping in the meat section. Though she didn’t understand why. They were a house full of wolves who could easily go out and catch a deer and she told him exactly that, “Why are we buying meat? We can just catch it.”

“That's true, but we don’t know how to skin it or whatever butchers do.” He said placing the different meats from Emily's list in the cart.

“So?” She squinted her eyes, looking at the weird meat.

“Humans can’t digest raw meat.” He told her softly. The softest he’s spoken to her since finding her in the woods. She liked this side of him.

Right.  Forgot about that.

Paul crossed off that last of the items before ushering her in the direction of the cashiers. As they waited, the sounds and smells around her began to become overwhelming. One smell in particular nearly made her snap the handle on the cart from how tightly she was holding it.

She knew that smell.

“We should leave.” Sage spoke quickly and quietly to Paul.

“Hm?” He mumbled, looking down at her, His face turned from confusion to concern quickly at the now antsy girl beside him.

“I need to go.” She rushed out.

He grabbed her hand as she let go of the cart, telling Sage in a hushed tone, “You're okay.”

She calmed at the touch but shook her head, turning her body into his so that all she can sense is his cologne and scent. Breathing deeply as he rubs soothing circles on her back. She was so comfortable in his arms it made her nervous, though she had bigger issues to avoid at the moment.

To the average person in the grocery store, they looked like your typical young couple. Unaware of the fact that the trembles running through her weren’t from the frigid air, but the cusp of a panic induced shift. Sage wasn’t sure what scared her more, the familiar scent that she loathed to catch a hint of again or the fact that she might get stuck on four legs again if the cashier didn’t hurry up.

Sage admired Paul for keeping his composure as he paid for the groceries before whisking her away and out of the store underneath his arm, tucked into his side. She can’t help but feel guilty for making such a mundane thing so difficult for him.

They crossed the parking lot together and as he opened the trunk of his SUV, he glanced at her, their eyes meeting for a split second before she turned away. Shame and embarrassment written all over her. 

Paul placed his hands on her shoulders and she instantly relaxed into him, as he whispered, “Breathe.”

Sage grimaced. It’s not like she's not trying. She focused on the warmth emitting from his palms and onto her shoulders. Warm and cosy like a blanket. She acts before she thinks, wrapping her arms around Paul's torso. A sigh escapes her lips as her entire body is enveloped in his warmth. Breathing feels easier as all the panic subsides.

“You’re okay,” He reminds her, bringing a hand up to her hair and holding her against him.

“Can we go?” Sage pleaded quietly.

The drive back to Sams was quiet. Sage was acutely aware of his hand on her hand that she had resting on her thigh as he drove back to Emilys. Sage fought the urge to slot hers completely into his much larger hand. She can’t help but wonder how he knows exactly how to comfort her. She barely knows what comforts her. Sunsets were her only true comfort for the last five years. It meant the hunters were leaving, very rarely did she come across any during the night. She could sleep through the night without the lingering anxiety of human threats.

“Hot chocolate.” Sage said out loud, almost as if she had a revelation. And maybe she did. Her grandma would always make her hot chocolate, for any occasion, happy or sad. It was a comfort.

“Hm?” Paul hummed, glancing at her before looking back to the road.

She smiled softly to herself, looking out the passenger window as they passed a bunch of little shops,“I liked hot chocolate before.”

He squeezes her hand gently, “Sue’s got a great recipe. We can make some tonight.”

A blush formed over her cheeks at the gesture, before she gingerly said, “I want to go to the beach.”

A smile formed on his face, softening all his hard features, “Yeah, whatever you want, Sage.”

[ladyinsertnamehere]

New fucked up SC oc backstory fic

Name: Watzumi Lawyers (“sue me” + lawyers sue)

Species: kitsune

Design: none yet, I wanted the story out in a timely manner and I didn’t wanna have to take so much time to make it a comic.

“Now,” Rem said, barely looking up from her desktop, “if you could just hand over any possessions. Security measures, you know.”

The new patient’s little fox face twisted into a concerned frown as he emptied out his bag, delicately placing each item on the counter. At this point, they didn’t know how much of their shivering was from the fever, and how much was from fear. Rem was an intimidating presence, even when she didn’t mean to be, so a tiny little thing like Zumi felt even smaller in her presence. His white paws grazed over the different fantasy books and dragon figurines, his phone, and his wallet.

Rem sifted through the items on the counter with long, manicured nails, logging every item both mentally and in her computer. She looked up, as if about to say something, but paused.

Against the snowy-white fox’s chest hung a round, glowing orb. Its milky color seemed to swirl as it pulsed, and shone brighter for a moment as Watzumi shivered. They followed her gaze and tried to cover it with their paw.

“Sir, you know I will have to confiscate that necklace from you,” Rem half-asked-half-demanded.

“A-a-and I’ll get it back, right?”

Rem could not confirm this, and Zumi could see it in her face. He held the pendant tighter, despite his aching hands and shivering body. “Th-then no,” he denied, tails swishing.

“Possessions policy is put in place to ensure the safety of all patients, it’s better if you comply.” Rem’s voice was firmer this time, but still got a sweaty, frantic head-shake.

Mood put her hand on his shoulder. She could feel heat even through her glove, and the touch made another shiver radiate through Zumi’s aching form.

“Excuse me, friend,” she spoke, concern in her voice, “but we reeeeaally need you to give us your necklace. We’ll keep it safe and sound inside a locker for the duration of your stay, and we’ll make sure nothing happens to it. Is that okay?”

Zumi’s eyes began to well with tears now, giving another feverish protest - “No! It-“ he hiccuped, “it’s not okay! I can’t go without it, I-I can’t!”

Rem and Mood looked at each other, frantic to calm the situation down.

“Th-there, there,” Mood shakily reassured, not enough to stop Zumi’s whole body being wracked with sobs and shivers and phlegmy coughs. “It’s okay!”

Watzumi clung onto the pendant even tighter, bringing one of their tails up to their chest to hold while the other two wrapped around their body. The little fox was utterly inconsolable, sobbing and hyperventilating, tears making both of their cheeks completely wet. The pendant glowed with each short, shaky breath.

“If I may ask,” Rem started, “why is this necklace so important to you?”

“Y-you wouldn’t believe me!” Zumi sobbed, “Y-y-you’d think I w-w-was crazy!”

Rem’s face softened, “Believe me, sweetie, I’ve seen much worse and harder to believe. Now, what’s so important about the necklace?”

“I-I’m a kitsune, ma’am,” he still maintained politeness through fearful, feverish shakes, “This n-necklace is my s-s-star ball, it literally holds my soul.” He breathes deeply, his body still shaking. “I-if I go too l-long without it, I’ll l-lose my strength, a-a-and I’ll die!”

Mood and Rem both knew what waited for him in that surgery room, star ball or no star ball. But they couldn’t let this little guy be even more frightened. Plus, the doc would most likely want him alive for as long as possible, to toy with him.

“If you hold onto it, would that be okay?” Mood suggested.

Zumi thought a bit about it, and after two hiccuping sobs, he answered a teary-eyed “Y-yes, I think s-so.”

[wildsecuritywolf]

*sighs* Okay...I really didn’t want to say this, but I did hear that with Fuboo’s first defamation case being dismissed due to not enough evidence and bullshit, I heard that NOW she’s trying to pull the same shit with Queen Serafina from YouTube with a cease and desist letter via the lawyer from Twitter.

….I know I no longer talk to her and all that…but all I can say is….ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM, woman?!

Your first defamation case got thrown out due to your lawyer’s incompetence with trying to “obtain” the identities of your victims from Twitter and let me tell ya, sister, for a lawyer that’s suppose to be very good at his job he sure as FUCK can’t be bothered to gather his research in full! Like, holy shit!

That’s like being better than fucking Ty Beard when it came to the Vic Mignona case and guess how he handle that situation??

And as for your “lawyer” I know that there are two things wrong with what he’s supposedly doing to Queen. And yes, I saw the video just now and uh, to that mother fucker, if you plan to send a cease and desist letter….PUT THAT KIND OF SENSITIVE INFORMATION IN A DAMN MANILLA ENVELOPE AND MAIL IT TO THE PERSON YOU’RE TRYING TO SUE OVER! You don’t screen shot that bullshit and send it to the accuser in question online, you fucking moron!! Also, the entire document itself sounds incredibly ridiculous! The way your supposed “lawyer” is trying to intimidate Queen Serafina is just downright bogus on all levels of stupidity.

And uh, the way I see it…aren’t lawyers suppose to uh…NOT FUCKING LIE when it comes to those types of legit cease and desist documents there? Because it looks like he is in all accounts. To James, you’re doing a piss poor job of trying to help out your client there, bucko. Even I can tell everything ya said is 100% all a pack of lies upon lies upon motherfucking lies. The way I see it…this case against Queen Serafina…you ain’t got shit!

Fuboo, you and your incompetent lawyer are willing to die on that hill against them??

Well if you are planning to do so…THEN GO AHEAD AND TRY! But you know fully DAMN WELL that that case is also gonna get thrown out and you’re gonna get laughed at once again.

Holy fucking hell! You’re like what…probably 40 or 40 something by now cuz I know you’re a few years older than me..and you’re behaving like this?! GROW THE FUCK UP AND ADMIT DEFEAT!

Your victims aren’t afraid of you…and ya know, way before the whole YBF stuff, you use to be cool, I use to enjoy the fact ya liked my Sebby and all that, and yes while I still loved the pics ya made for me years ago, I want to be VERY fucking clear…that I only cherished the past stuff, WAY before the creation of your game, and by that I only cherished about your interaction with my characters, our love for FNAF stuff and nothing more…with what’s going on now…there’s no way in hell I want to associate myself with you.

And I don’t care if you get mad at me for saying what I had to say…but I don’t regret it. Don’t message me, don’t contact me in anyway; until you own up and stop acting like a fucking child…I’m done with you.

Goodbye.

[1rsoldiersince2012]

Bound by Law (Matt Murdock x reader)

Words: 3277 (chapter 15)

Summary:

You and Matt met in the courtroom. Now, you may think that Matt was a knight in shining armour and defended you in the name of all United States laws, but that was not the case. Matt was totally destroying your client, and you wanted to tear him into pieces right then and right there, because with Murdock as your rival, your head is on the firm's plate with each case. Did Matt care? No, he only cared about bringing justice, he was a human-machine, driven by the need to bring righteousness no matter the cost. Or was he just that? What happens when you get involved in Fisk's business and Daredevil's lies against your will?

UPDATES EVERY FRIDAY

Find my other accounts on ao3 and wattpad! <3

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1rSoldierSince2012

wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/1rsoldierSince2012

15. Karma is a...

The weekend has passed calmly. If 'calm' has suddenly changed its meaning.

You were stressing over everything, drowning in memories of Robert and you, remembering how you agreed to go on a second date with Wesley, and later found yourself meeting Murdock more than your bosses would like their best lawyer to do. 

Monday morning you came to work earlier than usually, making yourself a nice cup of tea, you were sitting in your office, a red folder with documents rested in the middle of the table that was so clean, you saw your own distorted reflection. Dressed in red turtleneck and jacket, you were waiting for the heavy knock on your doors, prepared for everything that might come, yet you weren't prepared for the sight you saw when Todd burst in your office, two minutes after the beginning of a workday.

"You bitch-" he closes the doors loudly and storms at your table.

"Morning, Todd." You say calmly, clasping your hands together on the folder. "What seems to be the problem?" You take a better look at his face and see a huge bruise under his eye. "You look well." A smirk escapes your lips, and Todd visibly clenches his fist at you.

"You're hiring criminals and sending them after me now? You fucking bitch." He paces around the office, raking his hair like a maniac.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Todd. Why don't you have a seat, eh?" You eye him suspiciously, before smiling brightly, "I believe we have things to discuss."

"Oh, yes, we fucking do, I'm gonna sue you, and your little fuck buddy, and you," he turns back at you and points, "you're gonna regret it, all of it!" 

"Gee, Todd, maybe you should try some camomile tea? I heard it helps with the nerves." You pretend to be concerned, and a sickening smile appears on Todd's face.

"I swear, you're the biggest bitch I've met in my life."

"Me? Oh, please, I know far worse." You raise your eyebrows theatrically, and he takes a step towards your table, hoping to intimidate you.

"You, you hired some justice idiot to get out of your problems? Well, it didn't fucking work, congratulate yourself and your buddy Murdock!"

"You don't shout at me in my fucking office!" You stand up from your chair, and it rolls all the way back until it hits the wall. "I don't know what you're talking about and who gave you the look of America's next sweetheart, so sit the fuck down and let's play lawyers, Salotto."

He sends you a look and furiously grabs the chair to sit down, you do the same. 

"I thought about your offer." You begin and a shadow of hope passes on his face. "Although for any other woman the thought of seeing your micro penis would sound appealing, I found something far better, let's take a look, shall we?" You open the folder and Todd, still chewing the last thought, has yet to catch up with you, when a firm's picture of him on the first page throws him off tracks.

"What is that?"

"Oh, I've sacrificed my off days and found something very interesting, Todd." You smile slightly, flipping through pages, "I'm sure all the things will be familiar to you, but don't get angry at me for repeating, where was it? Hmm. Oh, found it, fraud, bribery, giving and receiving, oh you really like that one, I can see." With every word, his face became redder and redder, yet you continued nonchalantly. "Throughout your career, you've managed to take money from 30 clients, and then bribed five officers to get out of speeding tickets, used drugs that are illegal in the state, and my personal favorite - money laundering." You close the last page of the folder and take a look at Todd.

"Where'd you get that?" He looks like he's about to snap any moment, looking at the closed folder, barely blinking.

"Two words, Todd, hard work."

"Bullshit."

"I can sue you for far more, sugar. You'll rot in jail for 20 years at least." You lean forward, closer to him, and he suddenly grabs your throat.

"Not before I fucking kill you-"

"I have a camera here." You rasp out, and the fingers slightly loosen, yet he's still holding you in place.

"Another fucking bullshit, you, I'm gonna put you in jail first." He looks like a maniac, eyes popping out, you grab his hand and hold it just as tight as he's holding your throat.

"If I don't call my associate in an hour, he's gonna leak your shit to the public, killing me would be a cheery on top." You look right him in the eyes, your free hand slowly slipping into the pocket of your jacket, where your pocket knife was secured.

He lets go of you yet pushes you back with force, and you fall back on the chair. "Your associate?" he mocks, "is that how you're calling him now?"

"Contrary to the popular belief, Murdock is not my associate, I have someone in higher power." You say hoarsely, holding your throat, "you leave me and him alone, or I swear, you're gonna be eating the shit food they serve in jail."

"Oh, I'm gonna kick you out of here, one way or another," he threatens with a bitter smile and leaves, closing the door with such force that a painting of a lake falls from the wall.

You sit back in the chair, closing your eyes for a moment. The hands were no longer squeezing your throat, yet the twitching was still present.

"Good morning to you, too." Matt smiles to no one in particular, simply because he felt satisfied with what he did on Friday and last night, when he stopped three muggers.

***

"Matt, I think Melissa's guilty. I can't find anyone else who might have hated the man, he was everyone's favorite in the whole Hell's Kitchen." Foggy greets Matt with a look of desperation and dark circles under his eyes, although Matt was lucky he couldn't see them.

"I wish I had the mood you have now." Karen retorts, looking up from the pile of papers.

"What, did something happen?" Matt furrows his eyes immediately.

"Yeah, we have no evidence against Melissa." Foggy sighs dramatically.

"I'm sure there's something we can find, we always do." Matt tries to lift everyone's spirits for a moment, although he appeared to not be very good at it - Foggy was the best man for the job.

"She's the wife of the richest guy, you think she doesn't know how to throw everyone off her tracks?" Foggy argues further.

"Wait, you guys remember what Annie said?" Karen stands up suddenly. "Melissa's not letting her into the house anymore, but she said that she saw a very suspicious looking document in her office."

"Well, we're not going to see that document, so it's no help." Foggy starts loosing all the hope he had for this case, Matt stops in the middle of the office to think. Maybe there could be a way to take a look at that document... In his mind, Matt curses the loss of sight once again. "Baking ideas?"

"Um, no, not really." Matt sighs, and rubs his forehead. "Without a warrant, we can't do anything legally."

"And you can't get a warrant because?" Karen looks at the two men in front of her.

"We have no reliable source of information to support our request." 

"Beside, it could take a while, and court's tomorrow." Matt finally sits down next to Foggy and takes off his glasses. 

"Why are they even hurrying it so much? He died on Friday, what about the autopsy or..." Karen also sits down, stealing a look at Matt. He could feel her heartbeat picking up within seconds. 

"I'm sure Benowitz is involved, and he pushed the session to this week, so we wouldn't have enough time to find any evidence." Matt recalls how Benowitz swore to take him down if he ever got a chance, and this was a perfect opportunity.

"How are you so sure?" Karen asks, flipping through the pages of Annie's statement.

"Everyone knows how sold they are in HC&B, the decent lawyers -  I could count them on one hand's fingers." Foggy leans back on his chair.

Matt refrains from the comment, although he was burning to mention you yet again. "The quicker they deal with it, the fewer speculations go around the city. It's convenient to close the case as soon as possible."

"So there's no way to get any evidence?" Karen tries again, grasping on the last straw of hope.

"Unless you want to spend your life in jail." Foggy sighs and takes a look around the office - a couple of unopened fruit baskets were beginning to rot on the cabinet. They should really liven the place up. And start taking money.

"So we go unprepared, huh?" Karen puts her head on her hands, looking down.

"We go. You're staying here. Someone has to take care of the office." Foggy says, earning a shocked look from Karen.

"He's right. Besides, potential clients might swing by." Matt sides with Foggy, although he didn't want to spend much time with Karen for other reasons - he was afraid that she'll fall in love with him, and truth to be told, Matt didn't feel like breaking her heart.

"That's good, but why?" Karen emerges from the office, and takes in Foggy's appearance.

***

"Court's been pushed to Wednesday." Foggy barges in the office, carrying a bag of donuts, hair messy from the wind, three coffee pressed close to his chest.

"Annie managed to amaze the judge - fake illness, high temperature, caught a very nasty virus." Foggy wiggles his eyebrows. "Where's Matt?"

"Oh, he left just minutes ago, didn't you two pass each other on the street?"

"No..." Foggy says, slightly hesitating.

"Hm. I'll text him the news. He's got that thing that voices out messages, right? Because he left in quite a hurry, said he had an important meeting, I don't want to disturb with a call-" Karen starts rambling and waving her hands in the air.

"It's good, text him. I'll kick his ass for abandoning us tomorrow. Now, come on, we have to find some dirt on Melissa." Foggy lifts his cup in the air in a winning manner.

*** 

"You know, if you were helping, it would be actually quicker!" You whisper to Matt, who closes the door.

"If I was able, I would, but now you're on your own, try to look for a signed document." He whispers back, confidently walking toward the window. The early autumn darkness has already flooded the calm street of West 56th. After spending half an hour with you in the car on the lookout, Matt has decided that this was the calmest street in Hell's Kitchen. Additional points go to it because he never had to come here as Daredevil.

"Jesus, how many copies of the same document does one need?" You sign, trying to look for the paper as quickly as possible without making an obvious mess in the sickeningly orderly office.

"Hurry." He says, turning his head as if listening like a dog. 

"I'm trying." You exhale through your nose, frustrated as hell, already regretting on fulfilling this kind of favor.

"C'mon, she's gonna be here soon."

"My idea was to come here earlier, genius," you finally find what you need, but at the same time you hear a car pulling in the driveway.

"Hurry!"

"I got it, I got! Just need to take a picture." You say and pull out your phone. The car door closes loudly, and you snap a picture, praying to all the gods that she didn't see the flash. "Fuck, fuck." you whisper under your breath and put the paper back in its place, fixing the whole stack. "Matt, we have to hide, there's no way out now." You desperately look around and notice a wardrobe. In the office. Weird, but this should do.

"Get inside, idiot." You pull him in the small space and close the door, trying to control your erratic breathing.

He's quick to come next to you, grabbing your wrist. He didn't need to check your pulse like that, he already heard your heart pounding loudly, but feeling the twitching under your skin was on another level.

"Go, go" He urges you to get inside the wardrobe and already begins closing the door when you pull his sleeve towards you.

"You know, I think there's space only for one." He whispers, biting his smile away, although in darkness like this you don't see anything anyway.

"Yes, I'm aware of that, thank you, Murdock." You whisper, putting your phone into the pocket of your jeans, your hand brushes his, and you close your eyes for a moment. There is no way you can do anything in here without touching him, but the worst part was his leg between yours, squished and uncomfortably close to your core. His face was merely inches away from yours, chests were almost touching.

Your heart is beating like crazy, as is his, the adrenaline pumping through your veins clears the head, but this closeness makes you feel dizzy, and you mentally curse yourself for getting into this situation. You're a respectable lawyer, as is Matt, and you shouldn't be doing any of this shit, not when your career is hanging on a thread, not when Benowitz is collecting evidence against Matt in court, not when he's about to ruin Nelson and Murdock forever.

He takes in your perfume, although mixed with anxiety, you still smell incredible.

Matt wants to slap himself for these thoughts, but he just can't help himself, there's a pull to you, and he can't deny it any more, not when you're pulling your legs together and squeezing his.

Matt swallows rather loudly, you close your eyes and take a breath, trying to calm yourself. The door of the room opens and your breath hitches. Your eyes widen, and you stop breathing for a moment. Melissa walks around the room, her heels ring loudly in the space. Matt tries to focus on the intruder (oh the irony, when he is one), but your heart is beating too loudly for him to block it out.

He puts his hand on your chest, and you freeze. "Calm down" he whispers as silent as possible, hoping that his action will calm you. You bite the inside of your cheek, and put your head on his shoulder, desperate to slow down your breathing.

Melissa gets closer to the wardrobe, and Matt is already creating a plan of attack - if anything, he'll push you further inside and do what he swore to never do - hit a woman. When Melissa's distracted, hurt and surprised, he'll grab you and just run out through the door as fast as possible. Hopefully, he won't have to do any of it, but possibilities were still high.

If she were to recognize him, his career would be doomed. Attacking his opponent's client would send him straight to jail, if not get him killed on the spot. Surely someone high in power like Melissa had a gun somewhere. Perhaps in this very wardrobe...

You lift your head up and look at Matt, or his darkened form in front of you. It was smart enough for him to ditch his glasses in your car, because in action, they might break. And how many people you knew who wore red tinted glasses? One.

The phone rings loudly in Melissa's purse, and she hurries to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I've been trying to call you like a hundred times, where the hell have you been?"

"Still trying to corrupt that little girl?" She blows out some air and leans on the table, dropping the box of paper clips.

"Nah, it's like something is protecting her. Or someone. I saw her a couple of times with that blind guy."

"Yeah, Murdock. Fucking church boy."

"Oh, don't pretend you didn't search everything about him, Benowitz, he's our enemy. But we both know it's smart to go after our real enemy."

"Of course I have it. But we won't need it. Just find some more evidence against her, in case of sabogate, and we're good. Her lawyer won't be able to do shit if we have something good."

You fail to hear what Benowitz says, but Matt hears everything perfectly. He clenches his fist, removing his heavy and hot palm from your chest.

"C'mon, it's our chance."

"Good, see you tomorrow, Steven."

She puts her phone on the table rather loudly and leaves the room. You hear her steps descending, and you quickly tap Matt.

"No, not yet. She's pouring herself brandy, she's returning."

"But h-" you don't get to finish as Matt puts his hand on your mouth.

Is he mad? Take off your shirt? Now? For what? So that Melissa could look at your bra when she opens the wardrobe? This is insane. Thoughts race in your head, but you do as you're told. There's already not enough space for two people in here, but taking off your shirt in place like this seems like mission impossible. You begin, slowly pulling your hand out of the sleeve, and pushing the shirt a little upwards. Matt pulls his hand away from your mouth and puts it on your bare side, gently holding you in place and helping with the shirt. You can't help but shiver at everything - the cool air, the situation you're in, and Matt's gentle touch.

Quick steps ring in the office again, and you struggle to breathe quietly, as Matt's hand blocks your mouth. He leans closer to your ear and whispers as silently as possible, "take off your shirt".

You murmur something against his palm, but stop as Melissa starts pacing around the office again.

Finally, you have to take it off your head and Matt grabs the shirt, putting it on your head - your mouth and chin, leaving your eyes.

Melissa steps closer, you can hear her silently whistling under her breath -

And in one moment, many things happen - you get pushed further into the closet, Melissa lets out a scream that is stopped in the middle by Matt knocking her out. Matt grabs your arm and yanks you towards him, both scrambling to run away from the house. In the heat of the moment you found yourself pulling him, because after all, you were the one with actual sight. In the street, cold air hits your almost bare half, but there's no time to think, as you run into a dark alley.

He stops and you, holding your side and pant like crazy, "Running was not what I signed up for when I went to law school! " You put on your shirt, looking around if no one saw you running around the city in a bra.

"I see someone's badly out of shape." Matt smirks, but soon his smile fades.

"Did you just hit Melissa?" You laugh, somehow finding this situation hilariously dangerous.

"Yes, but not hard, I don't think I broke anything, come, we gotta hurry before she calls the cops." He pulls your hand again, leading the way to his apartment.

"Wait," You stop and check your pockets, letting out a sigh of relief when you feel your phone there. "We drove here, but I parked on the other side of her house, it would be very suspicious for us to show up near it now."

"You're right, you go, stay in the shadows as much as possible, and drive home, send the picture to Foggy, and please, be careful." He spins on his heel to leave, but you quickly grab his sleeve.

"No, what do you think you're doing? You're coming with me." You pull his jacket slightly.

"No, y/n."

"Murdock, you know that I'm already pissed, so don't cross the line." You step further and pull him towards you again, this time he complies, helplessly following you to the car.

[another-lost-mc]

I love your OCS but reading and seeing them is giving me OC brain rot. But I don't wanna seem like I'm just making Mary Sue's. Since I like making sibling OCS especially with the Obey me Brothers. But I love your writing too sorry for my little ramble.

-Hunter Anon

The great thing about OCs is that they're so flexible! They can help us explore parts of the world we wouldn't otherwise see, they can add more drama or humor or romance outside of the canon cast — their potential is endless.

OCs can be whatever we want them to be. They might seem like the most self-indulgent things we can create, but if you enjoy them, that's really all that matters.

Worried your OC sounds too much like a Mary Sue? Who cares. The canon MC is a chaotic angel-descendent all-powerful sorcerer with a dozen powerful and attractive suitors tripping over themselves for a chance to be with them. OM is a great fandom to be creative with OCs (and MCs) because if the canon MC can be all those things, why can't our own characters?

Anyway, I know sharing OCs with other people can be intimidating, but it can be really fulfilling — there's a good chance that someone else will like your OCs and resonate with them as much as you do.

[werewolfbansheelove]

Funk

(I’m excluding all scenes with Sue and Will together because CRINGE!!! Also the sheet n things will be excluded.) 

Artie, Kurt, Mercedes and Tina were walking down the hallway.

Mercedes: Is it just me, or does it feel like we have a real shot at Regionals next month?

Artie: The Ohio Show Choir chat rooms have all been buzzing about how Vocal Adrenaline has lost a step.

Kurt: I agree-- the judges know all of their tricks and now that we have Jesse, they’ve lost their best performer.

Rachel rush up to the four. Rachel: You guys have to come to the auditorium-- it’s an emergency!

They entered the auditorium where the rest of the New Directions were but what’s more shocking was that Vocal Adrenaline was in their stage and... 

Rachel: Jesse? What are you doing up there with them?

Jesse: I’ve transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I’m sorry that it’s come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas.

Finn: Why are you here in our auditorium?

Jesse: The blogs and the chat rooms say that we’re finished, and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment.

Bum, bum, bum (Jesse: Ooohh - Let’s go!)

Jesse: Steve walks wearily down the street with his brim pulled way down low Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet.  Machine guns ready to go, are you ready (Vocal Adrenaline Boys: Hey!). Are you ready for this, are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat. 

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls: Yeah!

Vocal Adrenaline Boys (Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust) Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust; And another one gone). And another one gone (Another one bites the dust, yeah) Hey, I’m gonna get you to

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline (Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Another one bites the dust (Oooh, ohh!) (Vocal Adrenaline Boys: Yeeaah!)

Jesse (with Vocal Adrenaline): How do you think I’m gonna get along (without you when you’re gone?). You took me for everything that I had and (kicked me out on my own)

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls: Are you happy? Are you satisfied, how long can you stand the heat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat

Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline: Look Out!

Vocal Adrenaline Boys (Jesse with Vocal Adrenaline Girls): Bum, bum, bum (Another one bites the dust)

Giselle: Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium, guys. It’s quaint.

–—–––

The kids walked down the hallway, quiet surprised and crushed. 

Artie: It’s a Carmel High tradition. They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it a funkification. Meaning they show us what they’ve  got, and we spiral into a deep black funk.

Finn: Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them.

Puck: Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. Those guys are golden. 

Kurt: Come on, keep  your heads up, guys. It’s going to take more than that to get us into a funk.

The club went to the choir room but was in shock as their choir room got TP. 

They all started to clean up the mess, Vocal Adrenaline left. 

Tina: I feel so violated. It’s like someone broke into our home.

Will: Look, it was just a lame little prank. And the fact that they’re trying to get to us means maybe we got them spooked. 

Mercedes: Uh-uh, Mr. Shue. They aren’t afraid of anything. That number they did was fantastic. You know, which doesn’t  make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?

Sue (enter): I gave 'em all keys. Helped them do a sound check over the weekend. Hey, this way, fellas. Let’s punch out this wall here. They’ll pen up the space a little bit.

Will: Sue, what are you doing?

Sue: I can’t talk to you now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. You see, I have Nationals over the weekend, and I expect to return with a comically large first place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at Regionals, this choir room will become my official trophy annex. You know what it has to look like? Elvis' gold record room at Graceland. Except I’ll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying.

Will: Sue, get out of my room.

Sue: Glee Clubbers, for you those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Acutane, listen up. In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now how do I know that? Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie, who told me that you’re 40-1 underdogs at Regionals. You are going to lose, and your dreams will be crushed. 

Will: Sue, can I see your trophy?

Sue: Sure, Will. Hope and dream.

Will (threw the trophy against the wall that made made everyone but Finn and Puck flinch or jump.): You dropped your trophy, Sue.

Sue: You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent. Enjoy your last few days here. This room is mine.

–——––

Will (enters the choir room,  Rachel was sitting at the piano.): All right, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets.Who has some?

Rachel: Giving my heart to Jesse, just to have it crushed like the stage floor at a performance of Stomp.

Quinn: Thinking "trust me" was a sensible birth control option.

Will: We all have them. I just finalized my divorce. I regret living in a relationship that wasn’t working. Letting her put me in these deep funks and not fighting back. 

Santana: Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this?

Will: Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals, none of us are going to regret it. We will have given it our best shot and we won’t look back. But we will regret letting them get the best of us before the competition. Which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us.

Quinn: So you want us to TP their choir room?

Will: Whatever the better, cooler version of that is. Like, uh, maybe-maybe we should steal their school statue.

Kurt: Their school statue is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. It weighs three tons.

Will: Okay, how about this one. All right, we get like...

Puck (voiceover): Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain. These are my kingdoms. First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions is going to be our dirty job.

This leads to Puck and Finn lashing tires to the Range Rovers to all Vocal Adrenaline Kids. But leads them to Principal Figgins office. 

Puck: Yeah, I did it. And I’m proud. All I did was step up and be a man. They got what was coming to them.

Shelby: A few of my students TP'd your choir room. You slashed the tires on the Range Rovers of all 26 of my performers. Those were gifts for our win at Sectionals. That’s 200 times 26 times four equals I don’t have a calculator.

Will: I’m sorry, you bought all your kids Range Rovers?

Shelby: We have a very active booster club.

Will: Look, nobody got hurt. It was a harmless prank.

SUE: That’s what they said about a young man in Chicago in 1871, who thought he’d play a harmless prank on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and a city burned, William. That young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. 

Figgins: Enough. These students have committed a felony. They are hereby expelled. 

Shelby: Look, I don’t want anyone to get expelled. I’m not going to press charges as long as you pay for the damage.

Will: You can take it out of the glee club budget. We don’t have that kind of money.

Finn: We’ll get jobs. Give us a month. We’ll pay you back, Ms. Corcoran, I promise.

Shelby: Fine.

Figgins: Ms. Corcoran, you are as wise and magnanimous as you are beautiful.

Shelby levees but Will whispered.  Will: Thank you.    

Sue: Well, you just can’t win, can you, William? You never have, and you never will.

––—–—–

Will wrote the ‘Funk’ on the whiteboard in Glee. 

Will: Funk. Use it in a sentence. Come on. Rachel.

Rachel (sadly): This cheese smells funky.

Puck: That’s because it’s "from-unda" cheese.

Rachel: Shut it, Puckerman!

Will: Okay, okay. I was thinking more along the lines of Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk.

Kurt: I’m so depressed, I’ve worn the same outfit twice this week.

Will: What if I told you I knew how we could shove it right back down their throats? New Directions is about to make their funk the P-Funk. We are going to get funked up. The only way to do that is to beat them at Regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They’re a machine, a collective, synthesized, soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger. Its passion is in its emotion. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn’t perform with any. So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into Funky town! 

Mercedes: You guys can relax, I got this one covered.

Artie: Cool.

Quinn: Hold on a second. I-I want a chance to get funky, too.

Everyone laughed at Quinn especially Mercedes. 

Mercedes: Good one, Quinn. It even sounds funny when you say it.

Quinn: You said funk was about soul and anger. I have plenty of both. Look at me. Look at my life. I’m furious!

Mercedes: Let’s be honest. When white people try to be funky, you end up with KC and the Sunshine Band.  (She laughs) 

Artie: I love "Boogie Shoes."

Quinn: Mercedes' racism aside, I will have something prepared tomorrow.

Will: All right, Quinn goes first.  (Bell rings, Will looks at Rachel.) Rachel, can I see you

in my office?

In his office. Will: You seem to be taking this Jessie thing pretty hard.

Rachel (angrily): I want him to be eaten by a lion.

Will (sighs): Jessie, cared about you.

Rachel: No, he didn’t. Our entire relationship was just some diabolical plan. They knew if they broke my heart close enough to the competition, that I’d lose my will to live, and then New Directions would have no chance at winning Regionals. It’s textbook; You destroy the heart of the team's heart and you destroy the team.

Will (voiceover): Sandy told me how to beat Vocal Adrenaline, and now Rachel was inadvertently telling me how to beat my other nemesis. Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling nearly as depressed.

——––—

In the choir room, it was time for Quinn’s performance. 

Will: Okay, Quinn, it’s your day to show us your funky side. So, take it away.

Quinn: For some of us just simply getting to class takes a little bit longer. When you’re pregnant, you’re responsible for two lives. And you’re walking down the hallway oppressed by the man.

Mercedes (mumbles): Oh, my goodness, she is not about to go there.

Quinn: Hearing people call you fat. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you have to stop and hold that precious life and say no.

Artie: This is offensive. Who are these girls?

Quinn: We’re the "Unwed Mothership Connection". And that’s what we’re here to sing about.

Quinn: This is a man's world, this is a man's world. But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing, without a woman or a girl.

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection harmonizing: You see, Man made the cars to take us over the road. Man made the train to carry the heavy load, man made electric light to take us out the dark. Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark. 

This is a man's, man's, man's world, but it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing. Without a woman or a girl (Unwed Mothership Connection: Without a woman or a girl)

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection: Man thinks about the little baby girls and the baby boys. And after man make everything, everything he can. Do you know that man makes money? (Unwed Mothership Connection: He makes money). To buy from other man (Unwed Mothership Connection: To buy from other man)

Quinn with Unwed Mothership Connection:

This is a man's world

Quinn (Unwed Mothership Connection): But it would be nothing, nothing,  Not a one little thing (Nothing, nothing). Without a woman or a girl. He’s lost (Huh-uh) in the wilderness, (oh) He’s lost (Ooh) in betterness. (Huh-uh) He’s lost, lost somewhere now in loneliness.

–——––

Will entered the school but saw Santana sobbing. Will: Santana, are you all right? What?

She ignored him and sat down on the floor, still crying. 

Will them approached Kurt. Will: Kurt, what is going on around here?

Kurt (closed his locker.): Coach Sylvester won’t get out of bed. We haven’t had practice in days. I’m fine because I have Glee, but these girls have sort of lost it. No Nationals means that four of the girls will lose their college scholarships. The rest are just depressed and confused. 

Like some Cheerios  had their hair all messed up.  Brittany was walking past clinging onto Jacob Ben Israel who was weirded out. Brittany: Please, please, love me, please.

Kurt: It’s really hard to feel bad for Sue Sylvester, she doesn’t need another trophy but some of these girls, they really do.

––——–—

In the choir room, Puck and Finn were dressed up like gangsters. 

Finn: Mr. Shue, Puck and I would like to show the class the true meaning of funk. With a little help from our special guest Mercedes. 

She stood up and stand in between Finn and Puck. Artie, Kurt and Tina cheered for her.

Puck: Fasten your seat belts, people. It’s going to be a funky ride.

New Directions Guys: Uh-uh (Puck: Yeah; Can you feel it, baby?) Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it). Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it). Uh-uh bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam (Finn: Come on; swing it).

Puck: Yo, it's about that time to bring forth the rhythm, and the rhyme-. Imma get mine, so get yours I wanna see sweat comin' out your pores

Finn: On the house tip is how I'm swinging this, strictly hip hop, boy.  I ain't singing this

Bringing this to the entire nation Black, white, red, brown, feel the vibration.

Finn and Puck: Come on; come on Feel it; feel it. Feel the vibration

Mercedes (New Directions Guys): It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam).

Puck: The vibration's good like Sunkist many wanna know who done this. Pucky Puck, and I’m here to move you Rhymes will groove you. And I’m here to prove to you (Santana, Rachel laughed). That we can party on the positive side and pump positive vibes. So come along for the ride making you feel the rhythm is my occupation. So feel the vibration.

Finn and Puck: Come on; come on Feel it; feel it. Feel the vibration

Mercedes (New Directions Guys): It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam).

Puck: Finnie D, break it down...

Finn (New Directions Guys): Finnie D's on the back up (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam).  Drug free, so put the crack up (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) no need for speed (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) I’m anti d-r-u-g-g-i-e (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) (Rachel laughed). My body is healthy (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) and rhymes makes me wealthy (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). And the funky bunch helps me (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) to bring you a show with no intoxication (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) Come on; feel the vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) (Everyone clapped along with the beat.) Yeah can you feel it, baby? I can too. 

Mercedes (New Directions Guys): It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) It’s such a good vibration (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam). It’s such a sweet sensation (Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam) It’s such a good vibration...

Will: All right. Great job, guys, but that’s not funk. I mean, the group is called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but that is a rap song.

Puck: A kick-butt old school rap song.

Artie: Does it really matter, Mr. Shue? We’re so clinically depressed, we’re doing the wrong songs. We’re in a deeper funk than ever. 

–——–—

Quinn was in a classroom, all alone then Mercedes entered sitting across her. 

Quinn: Mercedes, I'm so sorry.

Mercedes: You may not be a minority, but you certainly get how it feels sometimes.

Quinn: For nine months. You’ve had to deal with this your whole life. People making assumptions, calling you names. I seriously can’t understand why don’t feel like yelling at people all the time.

Mervedes: What’s the point in getting angry?

Quinn: Because it’s infuriating. I hate all the looks at school. Don’t even get me started on Puck's mom.

Mercedes: You’re not angry. You’re hurt. You just need someplace safe where you can dig through all that rage. Get to the pain beneath it. So it’s decided. Saturday you move out of Puck's house and you move in with me. (Quinn looked at her, surprised.) I already talked to my mom about it. My brother went off to college and we have an extra room.

Quinn: Mercedes...   she was so honored. 

Mercedes: It’s cool. Us sisters got to stick together, right?

They fist bumped but Quinn slowly didn’t make it boom. But they both laughing softly. 

—––—–—

Rachel walked down some stairs as her cell phone rings. She answered it. Rachel: Hello.

Jesse: Meet me out in the parking lot.

Rachel went outside to the parking lot where she saw Jesse. She ran up to him missing a smirk on his face, where Vocal Adrenaline throws eggs at her. 

They all laugh at her. 

Giselle: I hear you’re a vegan, Berry. The souls of those poor egg fetuses are all on your conscience now.

Vocal Adrenaline all laughs. 

Giselle: Do it, Jesse. (Jesse had a eye in his hand.) Are you with us or not?

Rachel: Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.

Jesse: I loved you.  He smashed the egg against Rachel’s forehead, letting the yoke drip down her face. Vocal Adrenaline got in their vehicles.

–——––—

Rachel had changed her outfit and told everyone what happened to her. 

Rachel: Now nightmares of all of the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge.

Puck: Oh, this is bull! Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me.

Finn: Right on. It’s time for less talking and more punching.

Will (enters the room): Hey, what’s going on?

Finn: We’re on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline.

Will: Guys, violence is never the answer.

Puck: It is when the question is "What’s the best way to mess up that Jessie kid's face?!"

Kurt: Mr. Shue, Rachel's one of us. We’re the only ones who get to humiliate her.

The boys went to leave but Will snapped. Will: Stop! Get back here and sit down! (Kurt immediately did that.)  Look, I know from experience that making someone else suffer doesn’t make your pain go away. You’re all amazing, no matter what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that.

Finn: We can’t just let Vocal Adrenaline get away with turning Rachel into an omelet.

Will (growls): We’re not. Rachel, dial Jesse's number on your phone.

Rachel pulled out her phone. 

Santana: You haven’t deleted his number yet?

Rachel hands her phone to Will.

Will: Jessie St. James? Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp. 

––——–—

Vocal Adrenaline were in the WMHS auditorium where Rachel stood in front of them where there was a backdrop behind her. 

Rachel: Thanks for coming. After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest, we decided the only way to truly funkify you is to show you the one thing we know you can’t do. So enjoy.

Kurt: Roof off, we’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker, tear the roof. We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker.

Finn and Mercedes with Tina and New Directions (with Kurt): You’ve got a real type of thing going down, getting down. There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round.  (You’ve got a real type of thing going down, getting down There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round)

Finn, Mercedes, and Tina with New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk. We need the funk, we gotta have that funk we want the funk, give up the funk.  We need the funk, we gotta have that funk Na-na-na-na-na. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow. Na-na-na-na-na. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow

Artie and Mercedes with New Directions: We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We need the funk, we gotta have that funk) (Mercedes: Gotta turn this mother out). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk). We’re gonna turn this mother out (New Directions: We need the funk, we gotta have that funk) (Mercedes: We're gonna turn this mother out hey!)

Finn and Mercedes with Tina and New Directions: Na-na-na-na-na, Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow (Mercedes: Doo doo doo doo na yeah). Na-na-na-na-na (Mercedes: Da-na-ta-ta-na ..Sing it now!) Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, ow (New Directions: You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down). You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down. There’s a whole lot of rhythm going down (Mercedes: Whole a lot of rhythm going down down get it!). You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round (Mercedes: A real type of thing). 

Mercedes:

Yeeaahh!

Finn and Tina with New Directions: We want the funk, give up the funk We need the funk, we gotta have that funk (Mercedes: Funky!) We want the funk, (Mercedes: Yeahhh!). Give up the funk, we need the funk, we gotta have that funk. We want the funk (Kurt: We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker) (Mercedes: Funky funky!) (Kurt: Tear the roof off the sucker).  Give up the funk (Kurt: Tear the roof off) We need the funk (Kurt: We’re gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker). (Mercedes: Get down man!). We gotta have that funk (Kurt: Tear the roof off the sucker). (Mercedes: Heey) We want the funk, give up the funk, we need the funk, we gotta have that funk. 

Mercedes: Heeeeeyyy!

Puck: See you punks at Regionals.

Jesse: They did a funk number. We’ve never been able to pull off a funk number.

Giselle: Well, that’s because we’re soulless automatons.

Jesse: I’m so depressed.