#I wanted to make y’all cry but instead I made myself cry

[caesurah-tblr]

Take this. I cried writing it.

No TWs for this one.

They’re running.

It hurts, running this much. Every step he takes feels like a knife digging into his guts. Charlie seems even worse off- he’s stumbling behind, making these horrible, pained sounds.

They should be safe now. God, he hopes they’re safe. He just wants this to be over.

Ranboo skids to a stop and turns to Charlie, catching his struggling friend in his arms.

“You’re okay.” The words feel like a lie. The amount of blood- he’s seen so much blood today- and the paling of Charlie’s skin tells Ranboo all he needs to know.

“I’m okay.” Charlie repeats, nodding. He looks exhausted. “Where are we?”

Ranboo shrugs. “My best guess? Outside. At least we’re out of the facility.”

“Out-outside?” Charlie looks puzzled. “This is outside?”

Those words hurt. Ranboo is once again reminded how horrible Showfall had treated his friend- they had ripped away his memories and had given him a new life, only to tell him in the end it was all a lie.

“I- I don’t.” Charlie’s knees buckle, and Ranboo helps him sit down in the dirt. They’re in a small alcove of trees- from the outside, this mall has been abandoned for a long time, and nature has staked its claim on the land. The sound of birds and the gentle brush of the wind against the leaves make the moment almost seem serene.

“You’ve never been outside?” He grips his friend’s arms. They’re slick with blood.

“I can’t- I can’t remember. But it’s- it’s really nice out here, man.” Charlie pulls away from him and brings his hands to the ground to grip the dirt. “We’re free? They can’t hurt us here?”

“I think so.” Ranboo watches Charlie pull up fistfuls of dirt and rub them between his palms as if fascinated by the texture. “They didn’t even follow us past the doors. We’re safe.”

“That’s great. And you’re okay? Got your memories back?” Ranboo nods and Charlie closes his eyes with a sigh, a relieved smile on his lips.

“Thank fucking god.” He’s collapsing, then, falling into Ranboo’s arms. He catches Charlie, not caring about the blood smearing along his clothes as he grips the body of the only friend he has left.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Charlie mutters in his ear. “Everything is okay now. We’re safe. Ranboo?”

“Yeah Charlie?”

“I think I’m gonna take a nap, okay? I’ve never been outside before. It feels so nice.”

Ranboo shakes his head. “You gotta get up. You can nap later, okay? I know you can’t remember anything, but now you can make your own memories. They don’t control you anymore.”

“This is my memory, Ranboo.” Charlie squeezes him. “I finally get to feel what it’s like to be outside, and I finally get to see you go home. Like it was always meant to be.”

“Charlie-“

“Help me lay down? I wanna feel the grass.”

Ranboo gently lays his friend in the grass, removing his own jacket to tuck under Charlie’s head for comfort.

Charlie pats the ground beside him and Ranboo lays down too. It’s such a nice day- the sun is shining through the trees, casting beautiful rays of light. He wonders what it would be like to see it for the first time.

Charlie looks absolutely mesmerized by the sight and it brings Ranboo to tears. It’s not fair that Charlie won’t get the chance to experience happy things.

“You think this is cool? You should see a sunset.”

“A sunset?” There are tears running down Charlie’s face, but the wide grin tells him they’re happy tears. Just this and he’s ecstatic.

Ranboo sniffles. “Uh, yeah. It’s what happens when the sun goes down. The sky gets filled with all these pinks and yellows and reds. It’s beautiful.”

Ranboo tells him about everything. About sunrises, about the ocean- happy things. All the while, Charlie listens as he digs his hands into the soil, like his committing the feeling to memory.

“It all sounds so nice.” Charlie turns to him. “I’m glad you’ll get to see those things again.”

Fuck. “You should get to see all those things too. It’s not fair.” A sob slips past his lips. “You’ve worked so hard to survive. You didn’t even get your memories back!”

Charlie shrugs, eyes closing as he turns back towards the sky. “My memories, if I ever had any, don’t exist anymore. But this memory? It’s mine. And if it’s the only memory I’ll ever have, then that’s enough for me.”

Ranboo can’t help but let out another sob. If given another chance, he’d take the blow that had fatally injured Charlie. It had been meant for him, after all.

“Tell me about your friends?” Charlie asks. And Ranboo does.

He watches the color slowly fade from Charlie’s eyes as he tells him about his friends and family. He feels so helpless, but Charlie looks so happy to be here in the grass and dirt with the sun shining through the trees, so he keeps going and doesn’t stop until the body beside him goes still.

“Charlie?” Ranboo sits up and looks down at his friend, tears starting anew at the sight.

Charlie’s eyes look towards the sky and he wears a soft smile on his lips- it’s almost peaceful, in a weird way. Charlie has been fighting for even longer than Ranboo has, and he has finally gotten what he had always so desperately wanted.

A memory to call his own. One Showfall can never mess with.

“Goodbye, friend.”

[norrizzandpia]

this is about oscar? part 3 but its freak by doja cat 🙏🏻

I fear y/n has released an entire album this time lol @golden-flora

The Album (OP81)

Summary: She’s done singles, one song at a time about her and Oscar’s sex life, but, now, she’s ready for a whole album.

Warnings: dirtiest one of the series, sexual discussions, Oscar being cocky

Note: THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF THE WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI SERIES IS HERE EVERYONE!!!! Hope you like it, i added some new things. First, as you know, y/n releases an album here, but, also, at the end, instead of smau, it’s just a regular story abt them on a podcast 🤭

y/nnn Oscar, the album, out tonight with a track list of Freak, Agora Hills, Dick, and Pussy Poppin 🤭

Comments:

Mclarensgirly SHE NAMED THE WHOLE THING OSCAR IM FUCKING CRYING

F1fan2023 using a photo McLaren took is cray

- y/nnn say it with me everyone: he looks hot!

- Mclarensgirly he looks hot!

- ln4andop81 he looks hot!

- f1fan81 he looks hot!

landonorris plz. plz don’t release it. I’ve never felt terror like this in my entire life after seeing that track list

- y/nnn don’t you put your life on the line every weekend to drive a car?

- landonorris yes.

oscarpiastri anyone want to come to the listening party?

- Danielricciardo no.

- landonorris absolutely fucking not

- logansargeant YOU THINK IM GOING TO BE LISTENING TO THESE???

- y/nnn y’all are some fake ass bitches

oscarpiastri haha have fun everyone!!!

- ln4andop81 mans is enjoying himself

- oscarpiastri more than enjoying myself

- landonorris like I’ll literally kill you

—

TWITTER

Mclarensgirly i would just like to say that this is the man all those songs are about

- ln4andop81 i mean she did say “tied him down to my queen bed” in freak so that pic does fit the sub allegations

- f1fan2023 she also said “love it when he hit and smack too” in agora hills

- Mclarensgirly also said “hold me down, when a hole need dick”

- f1fan81 also said “he want a quickie, let him lick me, then I started gasping. The way his tongue be going crazy, you wouldn’t imagine. I let him stick me, hair got frizzy, I might let him crash it”

- Mclarensgirly also said “He put that woo all down my throat until i started coughing.”

- ln4andop81 OKAY OKAY I GET IT 😭

- ln4andop81 but also like… lets talk abt it

- Mclarensgirly IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

- f1fan2023 “he like it when i bend it over and i arch my back. He tap me on my shoulders, i said ‘yeah, i like that’” YOURE KIDDING.

- ln4andop81 i envision that in my head at night

- Mclarensgirly oh?

- ln4andop81 moving on! “Pull the panties to the side, watch a movie and make it two. We just finished number one, but I’m ready for round two” YUM.MY.

- F1fan81 sometimes i wonder if I’m jealous of Oscar or jealous of y/n

- Mclarensgirly real.

- ln4andop81 we also need to talk about Dick bc she literally goes “i met the boy in the 6, but measurements wasn’t a six” UHHHHHHH

- f1fan2023 it baffles me that he’s packing that seriously

- ln4andop81 nothing baffles me when it comes to that boy now that y/n sang “When I made a little mess on it, he told me to clean my act up” BRUHHHH THATS FUCKING HOT AS SHIT

- Mclarensgirly “Skirt up, fuck in the backseat. Take that shirt off, baby, put it on me. Got me like ‘yeehow’, ride it like a horsey. Kinda like seesaw, up and down on the D, give it to him” McLaren’s kicking and crying rn bc they know they cant take their car back from Oscar after y/n confirmed they christened it

- f1fan2023 okay okay but can we talk about “suck a little dick in the bathroom” in agora hills (slay song btw i ate that shit up)

- ln4andop81 YEAH BC IM GOING TO NEED SOME MORE INFO THAN THAT. WHEN. WHERE. WHAT.

- F1fan81 i bet your ass it was in the mtc

- ln4andop81 or in the Australian Grand Prix paddock remember when no one could find him after the face was over and all he said he was with y/n? SHE HAD TO HAVE BEEN GIVING HIM CELEBRATORY HEAD

- Mclarensgirly honestly? They prob did it in both

- oscarpiastri mhm

—

Oscar and Y/n sat next to each other on the soft sofa of the studio. They giggled with the podcast host as she said their introduction.

“Breaking the internet right now with their sex life, Oscar Piastri and Y/n Y/l/n! Hi, guys, welcome.” Samantha, the host, spoke to them.

Y/n and Oscar mumbled pleasantries, their legs squished together even with all the space to Y/n’s left. The woman was quick to getting into the topic of conversation, having already discussed boundaries with the couple before the cameras started rolling.

“So, Y/n, you’ve just released a small album that focuses mostly on Oscar and the things you two get up to in the bedroom. Were you ever nervous to share these songs with the world?”

Y/n nodded, “At first, yeah, all the way back when we started with 34+35, but it got easier once I saw the overwhelming support for it. I think the best part about releasing them is seeing the jokes that the fans make about Oscar and that side of him.”

Samantha smiled, “That leads me to my next question, Oscar, were you ever nervous to have people know about that side of you? Seeing as it was such a shocker.”

He laughed as he adjusted his position, throwing an arm around his girlfriend, “Um, well, I didn’t think it was that shocking. We didn’t expect people to go haywire over hearing that I lean more towards the dominant side. We kind of assumed people inferred that.”

Samantha’s jaw dropped, “Really?! Oh! I’ll be honest, I was quite surprised when I heard it.”

Y/n shook her head, “I don’t know, I guess the way Oscar is in front of cameras is drastically different from how he actually is. He’s still very soft spoken and quiet, but a bit more outgoing.”

Samantha nodded as she glanced over her next question, “Oscar, what’s your favorite song off this album?”

“Oh, I am so ready for this. Agora Hills.” He answered immediately, smiling proudly at the others in the room.

Y/n turned to look at him, “Really?! Why?!”

His head leaned from side to side, “Just, it’s more romantic? I mean, you talk about tying the knot alongside the sex stuff.”

Y/n and Samantha laugh at his comment, Samantha agreeing, “No, I see what you’re saying. Y/n, you do say you want to show him off multiple times throughout the song.”

“Because I do!” She exclaimed, leaning into her boyfriend lovingly.

He kissed her temple, listening intently to Samantha.

“Your interactions with the fans are hilarious. Do you guys look forward to fucking with them?”

“Hell yeah!” Oscar exclaimed, “Once I caught wind of the fact that they didn’t think I did shit in the bedroom, I became very obnoxious when rubbing what happens between Y/n and I in their faces.”

Y/n cooed jokingly, “Aw, Osc, was your masculinity damaged?”

He rolled his eyes at her, laughing at her dig and pushing her away softly. They came back together, though.

“Before we move on from this subject, I want to ask Y/n, was the over six inches comment really true?” Samantha eyed her as Y/n glanced beside her at Oscar, silently asking him if she could do what he knew she wanted to do.

He nodded at her, shaking his head lightly as she said, “A lady never kisses and tells.”

Silence passed as she raised her hands and aimed them around nine inches apart. Winking suggestively at the camera, the women in the room gasped.

“IS THAT NINE INCHES?!” Samantha screamed, causing all of them to fall into a fit of giggles.

Y/n brought the microphone to her mouth and whispered, “Oh, yeah, it is.”

[mattsturnioloz]

Then I lost you: Pt 3.

Part 4.

Summary: Matt's career as a youtuber takes a toll on his 4 year relationship with his girlfriend, putting it on hold. Will it ever be the same again?

Pairings: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Warnings: angst, crying, cursing, anxiety, mentions of depression, unsolved angst, mentions of slighty physical argument.

A/N: (i’m so exhausted but y’all have been hyping me up so it’s giving me motivation to keep writing, get some tissues readyyyy���)

The uber driver pulls up to the house and I say my thank you’s before getting out the backseat and closing the door. I go up to the front door and reach for my purs- my purse. FUCK! MY PURSE. I sigh. I must’ve left it at top golf. I don’t want to text Matt.. Not after our argument. But i’m stuck outside. Fuck it, i’ll text Nick. I open my phone and I open nicks contact.

Messages

Y/n: Hey Nick, I left my purse with my keys over there, do you think you can grab it for me please?

Nick: Yea sure.

I was just about to type out a message but nick sent another text.

Nick: oh wait, Matt already grabbed it.

oh.

Y/n: oh okay thanks.

Nick: Are you guys okay? Are YOU okay?

Y/n: I’m pissed at him, he’s been so distant and i’ve just been trying to talk to him more and spend time with him, then he just snapped at me.. in front of everyone too.

Nick: Yea that wasn’t right, I told him to go apologize and he genuinely looked guilty but then he came back all pissy and told me and chris that you guys just argued more.

Y/n: Yea, and i’ll admit that I shouldn’t have shoved him but I was just so mad and hurt that I acted on anger.

Nick: Understandable, I need to shove him all the time LMAO😭

Y/n: LMAOO😭 Trust me I KNOW. When are you guys coming home? i’m stuck outside until you guys get here.

Nick: We’re already on our way so about 20 minutes now.

20 minutes?? Im freezing.

Y/n: oh okay, see you soon. Love you :)

Nick: Love you too, see you soon :)

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆———-

I sit on the ground slumped against the door and wait for Matt, Nick and Chris to get here. The air so cold that my skin gets itchy and stings when I scratch at it and my face feels hot from all the crying I did. I see them pull up and my heart stops. I’m scared to see Matt. I don’t want to see Matt.

I feel my heart start to beat out of my chest. The beating affecting my vision, pumping with the beat. My anxiety making my hearing heighten. Making me focus on all the things I hear.

The sound of them shutting the doors of the car. The sound of the night wind gusting past my body. The sound of the car beeping when matt locks it. The sound of their feet on the wet cold rubble, getting closer and closer. The sound of the raindrops from the roof, falling on a random empty tin barrel across the street.

Im caught out of my daze when they reach me and I wave hi to Nick and Chris who both flash me a smile. I fidget with my rings nervously as Matt unlocks the front door, not sparing me a glance ever since they got here.

They start to walk inside after Matt opens the door, and I let go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I take one last breath of the fresh air outside before I follow them in, immediately being hit with the smell of the ravioli I made before we left.

I walk to Matt and I’s shared bedroom closing the door behind me. I grab some pj’s and a towel to take a shower since I smell like wet dog from being outside in the cold for so long.

I open the door and when I do Matt is there and I feel my chest tighten. We just stare at eachother and I secretly wish for him to say something. anything. Instead he brushes past me walking into the room. My heart aches and I feel tears well up in my eyes again, a few falling as I walk to the bathroom, shutting the door.

I take a deep breath and wipe my tears trying to keep my composure. I turn on the shower before undressing myself and I step in, feeling the warm soothing water wander my body.

After I showered, I get out and dry my body, head to toe before wrapping my hair in a towel. I change into shorts and a t-shirt before brushing my teeth and grabbing my dirty clothes from the floor then I open the bathroom door, leaving and tossing the dirty clothes into the wash.

I walk into Matt and I’s bedroom and I don’t look at him but from the corner of my eye and I can see him sitting on his side of the bed, slumped against the headboard, scrolling through his phone. I take the towel off my head and rest it on Matt’s gaming chair to dry before making my way to my side of the bed.

I get under the covers, my back facing Matt as I get comfortable. There’s an awkward silence. Nothing feels the same anymore. I feel depressed and anxious and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I close my eyes hoping to get some sleep after the shitty day I had.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆———-

Days turn into weeks and Matt and I haven’t even talked since the day we argued. The bed feels emptier and emptier as the days pass even though he’s still there. I’ve had enough and this time before bed I decide go speak to him.

“M-Matt..” I ask with a shaky voice. I get no reply. “Matt.” I say louder. “What Y/n.” He says in a rude tone. “Can we talk? please?” I plead. He lets out a long sigh and he sits up to look at me for the first time in weeks, So I do the same.

I look into his icy blue eyes. God, how i’ve missed them… except they were sharper, colder. “Listen, I just want to say that i’m sorry, and miss you so much, I- ”

“Stop.” He says, cutting me off. “I don’t want to hear you say sorry. I just- i’m not happy anymore and I can tell you feel the same way.” He says looking right into my eyes. His gaze sharp.

My hearts drops and feels like it’s sinking into the pit of my stomach. I want to cry, I want to cry so bad but I try to hold my tears back. Deep down, I know what he’s saying is true. We’re not happy anymore.

“Look.. Of course I love you y/n, I love you so much you don’t even understand.” He says. cupping my face, his thumbs gliding across my cheeks, and I break into silent sobs, already knowing where this is going. “But it’s hard.. hard being in a relationship when I also have the career that I have.” He continues.

“N-no! w-we can make this work just-jus- PLEASE-” I practically yell, sobbing as I grab his hands from my face, kissing them before gripping them in my hands in front of my chest. I know I look pathetic begging him to stay with me, but I can’t help it, I can’t lose him. I love him too much. He pulls his hands away.

“N-no w-what are you do-“ I say, having a cold feeling running down my spine and all throughout my body. “JUST STOP! STOP Y/N!” he interrupts, yelling at me. “Can’t you see?! this isn’t working!! it’s not working anymore baby..” His voice cracks.

I look down, my sobs stopping. I feel numb and empty. Like everything good I had in my life came crashing down. Like I have no future. Not if he’s not in it.

1,277 words.

A/N: (I am tired yall omggg. Im so sorry to do yall like this but I had no choices😖 I’ll most likely write part 4 tomorrow or wednesday. Depends on how i’m feeling :) thank yall for the support i appreciate it!!)

Taglist: @watercolorskyy @imwetforyourmom @starzinasblog @urfavstromboli @sturniqloo @star-yawnznn @h3arts4harry

[worldlxvlys]

can you PLEASE make a fic based off the last texts from texts w dealer!chris part 7 i’ll kiss you PLEASE.

seeing stars

dwb! chris x reader

warnings: nsfw (it’s smut y’all, don’t read if that bothers you), oral (female receiving), overstimulation

dwb! chris masterlist

i’m waiting for my kiss 😊

enjoy <333

•••• ••••••••• ••••

chris pulled me onto his lap in a sweet, passionate kiss.

his hands gripped my waist, helping me grind on his dick over his pants.

my hands roam his body, feeling his abs, chest, arms, anywhere they can get access to. when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, i run my hand through his hair and tug.

“shit ma” he lightly moans. my panties are drenched.

“chris i need you so fucking badly” i say into the kiss.

“yeah? what do you need ma?”

“want your tongue on my pussy”

with that, he quickly took off both of our clothes.

“come sit on my face baby” he says as he lays back.

i quickly oblige, moving towards his face and positioning my legs on either side of his face.

i hover over him slightly and hold onto the headboard.

“don’t be shy now baby, want you to suffocate me” his warm breath on my pussy made me even wetter.

without wasting a moment more, i put my weight on him fully and began rocking back and forth.

“holy fuck chris, you feel so fucking good”

he moaned at that, the vibration against me making my pleasure multiply.

rocking myself harder, his nose started to hit my clit perfectly.

“fuck chris i’m gonna cum” i kept my quick pace, wanting so badly to finish on his face.

“mmmmm” he moaned into me, causing me to finish on his face.

feeling satisfied, i started to lift myself off of his face.

“thought you wanted to see stars baby” he said in a deep, raspy voice.

before i could answer, he suddenly wrapped his hands around my thighs, pulling me down onto his face.

“f-fuck chris”

his tongue moved feverishly, licking up and down quickly.

“chris! chris, too sensitive. i can’t take more”

he suddenly flipped us over so he was on top of me, and moved his head down towards my core.

“you can and you will baby. you know your safeword?” he asked.

i nodded my head quickly, just wanting to feel his tongue on me again.

“need words baby” he said as he started leaving kisses down my stomach, closer and closer to where i needed him.

“yes yes chris! please just keep going”

without another word he shoved his tongue inside of me, making my hips jolt.

he placed his hands on my waist, holding me down while he continued his assault on my pussy.

“oh my gosh chris you’re so fucking good, mmmmm” i moaned out loudly.

his grip on my waist was bruising, almost as though he thought i was going to disappear.

he kept going and going until i tumbled over the edge.

but instead of stopping, he bent my legs toward my chest allowing himself better access.

“chris chris i can’t take another, please” i cried out, hips thrashing.

he lifted his head for a second, his face glistening in my juices. “still haven’t heard the safeword baby” and with that he dove back in, shaking his head side to side to make sure no area of my pussy was left untouched.

he moved his tongue up my folds, starting to focus on my clit.

the only sound i could even let out was his name in broken moans.

once he started to suck and moan on my clit, i was a goner.

“fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkkk” i was screaming at the top of my lungs at this point.

“gonna cum baby? let it out. want my face to be fucking drenched” he said, as though his face wasn’t already covered in my cum.

the words he spoke into my pussy sent me over the edge, releasing on his face with one final cry of his name.

“how was that for seeing stars?” he asked into my pussy, making me shiver.

•••• •••••••••••• ••••

hope you likeeee :)

masterlist

taglist: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @chrissturnioloswifey @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn

[gingerjunhan]

boyfriend headcannons - han hyeongjun

☆彡 EEEEEEKK it’s Jun Han time! :D 🩷

word count: 690 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: YouTube like is safe!!, all caps, (Hyeongjun’s) insecurities mentioned, eating mentioned, I love him, not proofread, lmk if I missed something

← previous member | next member →

obviously, I have a lot to say

here we go

first things first, Hyeongjun shows you how he loves you instead of telling you

there was some radio interview they did one time where the other members said he doesn’t say “I love you much”

so he makes sure to physically show his appreciation for you

what’s that? you were stressed from your workload? Hyeongjun made you dinner and cleaned up your place while you were out

you’re feeling nervous about a big job interview? he got you flowers to wish you good luck

stuff like that

I also feel like someone somewhere said that Hyeongjun is really good with dates?

idk maybe I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that

but he never never forgets anything!

birthdays, anniversaries, important events- he’s there

I also think a lot about the one Knock Down Debate that they did where Hyeongjun yelled at the others because they never pick up their phones when he calls them

so hey, at least he’s good at communication in that aspect

I don’t think Hyeongjun is one for pet names

I literally cannot picture him calling someone a pet name, but I could easily be wrong

if he did I feel like they would be simple

“honey”

“love”

“sweetie”

short and sweet stuff

he gets flustered easily if you call him something though!

I feel like it would be really easy to fluster him

STOOOPP imagine Hyeongjun meeting your pets

forget about your family- let this man meet your cat

okay but fr this man is sweating buckets meeting your family

he’s afraid that they would think he’s too quiet or too boring :(

but once they get to know him and once he warms up to them that’s obviously not true!

I mean, come on, look at the way that man can shred on the guitar. there is not a boring bone in his body

he’s a kiss on the cheek typa guy

no big fancy gestures

just something cute, simple, and sweet

he actually doesn’t strike me as a big gesture guy at all?

no wait let me explain

let me cook

not big on PDA, not the best with words, and he wouldn’t feel like his acts of kindness are very big

like, he let you hold on to kkito while he was away for a few days so you wouldn’t miss him- why are you crying?

ugh I wanna squeeze him :(

he will come to you with any sort of problem no matter how big or how small

he trusts you completely

he would literally be your friend first and your boyfriend second

Hyeongjun strikes me as the type to not need affection much, but when he does he’s a little nervous to ask

“Jun, what’s wrong?”

“I need a hug.” :(

you almost don’t hear him but y’all are so close that you can figure it out

you can basically read his mind

I feel like a relationship with Hyeongjun would go slow, and that’s okay!

why mess with perfection 😉

no need to rush first kisses or first I love yous

you’re just having fun together!

HE MAKES A PLAYLIST OF SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF YOU 😭😭😭😭

“This song played in the restaurant during our first date.”

“This song was stuck in my head right before you kissed me for the first time.”

“This song was-“ STOP IT I can’t do this anymore

ALWAYS makes sure you’re taking care of yourself

making sure you eat meals and get enough rest

he’s so open minded!

I feel like he has strong opinions, but he’s chill with most things?

those two things literally cancel out but whatever

he buys clothes that he also thinks you would like in case you want to steal them 😼

pays very close attention to detail!

no new haircut or nail color goes unnoticed!

he draws little pictures of you in his sketchbook all the time :(

loving Hyeongjun is gentle, calm, and fun- like sitting in the grass on a sunny day

no pressure, no rush, just you two having fun being together 🩷

god I love him so much

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You… (Part 6.5)

YouTube! Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️: cursing, crying, confusion, fatigue, Lee Know coming in clutch, Chan admits to being jealous of reader (let me know if I missed anything)

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

Y/N never imagined that she would be summoned to the conference room at her workplace, especially by unfamiliar individuals not from the United States. Nevertheless, they were seated on one side of the table, while Y/N found herself on the other, facing a stack of papers with the word "CONTRACT" emblazoned across the top.

“So, what do you say? Would you like to work with us?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV (One week ago)

I felt like I was glued to my computer screen for an eternity. Realizing I was making no progress, I pushed myself away from the desk and flopped onto my bed. I had never felt this exhausted before. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was falling behind. Perhaps it's time to hit the reset button and start from scratch.

Flashback (Two weeks prior)

Pulling up my camera, I press record and wait three to five seconds before starting. “Y’all.” I huff, still trying to catch my breath. “When I made this address, I expected to get some packages here or there. The post office called and told me I must pick up my packages because they overflowed. I thought….You know what, let me show you instead.” I pick up a vast draw bag of packages inside. “I have three of these, and that’s not including them.” I grab a basket of letters or other small packages. “I had to take my grandfather’s truck because my car was too small to fit everything. I honestly thought that I wasn’t going to get this much stuff. I’m afraid I won’t be able to get through all of these before they call me again, saying I have more waiting. I told y’all I don’t need anything; I already have too much.” I start looking around my room. “Where the hell am I going to put all this? I have no room, ugh.” I turned back to the camera. “I love y’all to death, but this is way too much.”

Looking around, I let out a big sigh. “I’m grateful, honestly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad or upset. I’m more surprised than anything. I don’t want y’all to waste your money on me. I'd rather you keep that for bills, food, clothes, etc. Though at the end of the day, I can’t stop you from sending anything.” I sit down in my chair, worn out since those bags were heavy. “I know I promised you that I would record everything I open, but then again, I didn’t expect to get this much fan mail. I’ll do my best to record what I can. Hopefully. What I can’t, I’ll try to thank you in letters.” I laugh a little to myself. “I feel like I’m digging myself a hole, making all these promises and talking about sending letters. I don’t want to let anybody down. I want all of you to know that I appreciate everything you do, and I don’t want any of you to feel left out if I don’t show you opening up your package or letter.”

I get up and grab one of the big bags. “I’ve got to record an upcoming video, but as soon as possible, I will record myself opening up some of these packages. I could do a live stream of me opening some of them, too. I’ll have to see how I’m feeling that day. Either way, I love y’all and hope you have a great day. Bye!” I turn the camera off and instantly drop my shoulders and head. ‘Why do I do this to myself? I knew I was in over my head when I did this.’ I look down at all the stuff people sent. “Well, I better get started on the album review before I worry too much about these.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV (Before Y/N’s video above)

The boys had been worrying/stressing over what to send to Y/N. Chan had convinced the rest of the boys to send a gift and a letter from each of them so that she would know who it was from. Some guys knew exactly what they wanted to send, others couldn’t decide. Each one agreed that they would all send their stuff at one time, so hopefully, she would get them all around the same time. Lee Know walked into Felix’s room, seeing the Sunshine himself writing a letter. He knocks on the door to announce his presence.

Felix turns to his older Hyung. “Hey.” Lee Know grins, and Felix responds. “Hey.” His Hyung sits by him. “How’s it going?” Felix drops his head on his gaming desk. “Terrible. I can’t think of anything to write.” Lee Know observes him before replying. “You don’t have to think about it so much. Just write what comes to your head.” Felix scuffs. “Easy for you to say. You don’t overthink everything like I do.” Felix runs his fingers through his hair. “Normally, I could already know what I’d want to tell someone. Right now, I’m coming up blank.” Felix, frustrated with himself, pulls on his hair.

“Do you want to see what I wrote?” Felix turns to his Hyung. “I don’t want to copy what you wrote, Lee Know Hyung.” Lee Know smirks. “I know. I wrote two of them, in case you couldn’t think of anything. They’re not the same letter. Here, take it.” He pulls it from his back pocket. “You can always rewrite it in your handwriting if you want.” He gets up to leave before turning around. “We’re sending them out tomorrow, so have it ready by tonight.” Felix nods his head, smiling. “Thank you, Hyung.” Lee Know returns the smile. “You’re welcome.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Y/N had recorded and edited both versions of the review for the Oddinary mini-album, she sent one to JYP and saved the other for the release date. She decided she’d take a small break before she would start recording herself on opening fan mail. She had to wait a couple of days before she got the chance to re-record herself.

“Hello, Lovelies, and welcome back to the channel! So, we will start opening some of these packages today since I have so many. I will warn you that I’m bad with names, so if I don’t pronounce your name correctly, don’t get mad at me.” I laugh lightly. “These will probably be different videos since I know I won’t be able to open all of them in just one video. Okay, let’s get into it, shall we?”

Little did Y/N know eight boys were waiting for her videos to come out. They wanted to see her reaction to the gifts they gave her. When the day finally came, they gathered around a TV to watch her. “What in the world is this?” She pulls out a package and sees there’s no name on it. It’s also from a PO Box address but from Seoul, South Korea. She looks at the camera with a questionable expression on her face. Pulling out her scissors, she cuts the package open. The first thing she grabs is a letter with her name on it. She opens it, and what she does next makes all the boys happy. Her jaw drops, “There’s no fucking way. This cannot be real.” She looks at the camera, back to the letter, then back to the camera again. She swallows slowly before speaking.

Dear Y/N,

I’ve followed your videos since you reacted to our MV God’s Menu. The guys and I have been quite your fans. When we saw that you created a PO Box, we knew we wanted to give you something from each of us. We hope you enjoy everything you get, and thank you for always supporting us through our journey.

Signed,

Lee Felix

She tears up a little bit and wipes her eyes immediately with her hands. “So that means you’ve seen me make a fool of myself this entire time. Damn. Well, at least you know this is the real me. What you see is what you get. Now you just made a lot of Stays very jealous.” She laughs and points at the camera. “Y’all don’t come after me now.” She puts the letter to the side and opens the package more to see what’s inside. She pulls back and starts laughing hard. “Felix, have I ever told you how much I love you? Because I do. Hold on, everyone, I’m about to show you what he got me.” She pulls out a container of brownies he made along with the recipe on top. “I knew the package looked weird, but I now understand why. He said he had to use vegetable oil to preserve them while being shipped.” She looks at the camera and smiles. “Thank you, Felix. I will enjoy these.” She puts them off to the side and grabs something else from the package; she turns it over to see a little bracelet with his skzoo. “Ooh, I love that. That’s very precious.”

She turns to look at her other bags. “So I’m not constantly thinking about the other guys’ packages. I will see if I have them all to open them one after the other. I’m quite nervous now. Especially since I know they’ll be watching this video.” The boys can’t help but smile at her. She searches through the bags and manages to find all of them. “This one looks promising.” She had grabbed Hyunjin’s and carefully opened it. What was inside made her gasp. It was a painting of flowers in a glass vase. The painting itself was mute but had pops of colors on the flowers. “That is so beautiful, Hyunjin; I love it. Did I ever tell you that my grandmother is an artist herself?” Hyunjin’s eyes widen upon hearing that statement, and the boys do, too. She steps out of view and calls for her grandmother.

Her grandmother comes into view. “One of my fans painted this for me.” Her grandmother compliments the painting, and Hyunjin lets out a breath he doesn’t know he is holding. He also gave her some facial masks since he knew she enjoyed those more than makeup. Each member gave her a letter with similar words to Felix’s, hoping they would meet her one day. They went for more sentimental value ideas since they knew she didn’t like costly items. Seungmin had given her a book he enjoyed reading and even got her a box of tea he wanted. I.N. gave her their Oddinary album book and an unreleased box of photo cards. Changbin had given her a couple of their shirts from the Oddinary merch collection. Han had gifted her a new light stick with a Quokka keychain.

Y/N thanked all the boys for their beautiful gifts, which finally reached the last two members. If anyone ever asked her which two she would consider her biases, she would tell them Chan and Lee Know. While she loves all the members equally, those two (including Felix) stood out the most to her. One package is bigger than the other, but only by a little. Both feel soft like a pillow, and she’s torn over which one to open first. She almost forgets that she’s being recorded. “I don’t know which one to open first.” She laughs to herself. “I feel that there’s more clothing in both of these. I guess I’ll go with this one.” She grabs the slightly smaller one and cuts carefully. Inside is a hoodie, not just any hoodie, but one she’s familiar with. She pulls the letter out and opens it. She’s glad she knows how to speak and read Korean; otherwise, she would have to use her phone to translate.

Y/N,

Usually, I wouldn’t say I like sending things to people, but I will make an exception for you. Your channel has brought me comfort on hard days. I never realized how much they meant to me until I unconsciously looked up your videos. I want to give you this to have on your bad days. To know that you’re not alone and have people who care about you. I have included a small bottle of my cologne that you can spray on it when my smell starts to fade. I also included a unique Leebit plush that hasn’t been released yet. Thank you for being your true self and making others happy.

Sincerely,

Lee Minho

Y/N had tears rolling down her face, but she didn’t go to wipe them. Lee Know didn’t know whether he went too far or his gift wasn’t good enough. But she turned to the camera and smiled, hoping Lee Know could see her. “리노님 정말 감사드립니다. 너무 마음에 들고 잘 보살펴 드리겠습니다.” He smiled right back. “천만에요.” She grabs a tissue and wipes her face. “Okay, this is the last, then I’ll end the video here.” She opens the last package and inside is a black jacket with white writing. Her eyebrows scrunch together as she looks at it. Once she realizes what it is, she looks at the camera with her hands on her hips. “Christopher. Now I know damn well that you better not have spent a lot of money on this jacket. Don’t act like I don’t know my clothing brands; I know just how much this cost and it’s too much.” She shakes her head like a mother would when disappointed in her son. “Good grief. What am I going to do with you, mmhm?” She pulls out the letter and opens it.

Dear Y/N,

I wanted to be honest with you from the start. I didn't know how to feel when Stays first talked about you and how much you were like me. I felt like someone was trying to copy me. It didn’t help that the other guys adored you and talked about you constantly. You were always somewhere in my head, and I couldn’t get you out. I tried, but it only seemed to make it worse. It wasn’t until I found you crying your eyes out that it all changed. I’m not saying that your crying made me change my views about you, but I realized you’re a human being like me. Seeing you upset made me want to comfort you. You were holding my skzoo to dear life. I let my emotions control my thoughts of a person without getting to know who they were. I wanted to give you something to remember me by. This jacket is mine, and I also included something to spray on it when the smell starts to fade. There’s one crucial item in here that I want you to have. It’s not mine, but it’s a replica. I want you to have it and remember that not only are you by our side, but we are by your side, too.

Sincerely,

Bahng Christopher Chan ❤️

Y/N’s emotions were all over the place. He was jealous of her because he thought she was copying him. But it changed when he realized she was kind all along. Chan was feeling the heat from waiting for her response and the looks on his member's face. They see her pull out a bracelet. It’s the same Stay bracelet that Chan wears. She finally spoke up. “Wow, I don’t know how to feel about this. I, for one, appreciate you being honest with me. I don’t understand why you would be jealous of someone you’ve never met, but then again, I don’t see things from your point of view. I could understand if you have people who say I’m exactly like you. However, that’s not entirely true. Um, I’m kind of at a loss for words right now. I don’t hate it, but believe me, I don’t. I love the gift; I love all of them. The letter makes me ask, where did I go wrong?”

She looks back up at the camera before continuing. “I’m willing to look past this as long as you and I get along. And to Stays, please do not go bashing Chan for any reason. I better not find any of y’all being mean to my boy. I’ll find you.” She points her index and middle fingers to her eyes and the camera. As if saying, ‘I’m watching you.’ “I could see that if it were the other way around, I’m sure he would react the same way if I were him in this situation. But outside of that, I greatly appreciate the gift, Chris. Thank you.”

“Thank you all for watching! I hope to have more of these videos up soon. Until then, I will see you next time. Bye!”

End of Flashback

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present day

Which brings Y/N to today. When she arrived, the overhead boss told her the CEO wanted to see her. She started replaying everything she’d done, and nothing stood out. The only thing she could think of was something outside of work that had to do with her channel. After her Ordinary review went up, she received a call from an out-of-country phone number. She didn’t answer as she didn’t know anyone outside of the States. Maybe besides the email she got from JYP, there wasn’t a phone number listed.

She had let it go to voicemail, hoping that if it were necessary, they would leave a message. They left a message, and what she heard stunned her.

“안녕하세요, 저는 MNet Digital Studios에서 전화를 겁니다. 나는 여기 입장에 ��해 y/f/n과 이야기하기 위해 전화하고 있습니다. 다시 전화해 주시면 감사하겠습니다. 안녕.”

(A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I kind of threw some things together hoping that they’d work. Wasn’t really sure what I wanted each member to gift to the reader, but I hope it makes sense. Anyways there’s more to come!)

((A/A/N: I forgot to add the translations in.

Blue- “Thank you so much Lee Know. I love it so much and I will take very good care of it.”

Green- “You’re welcome.”

White- “Hi, I’m calling from MNet Digital Studios. I’m calling to speak with Y/F/N about a position here. If you could please call us back. Bye.” ))

[spacerockfloater]

Yet another example of Team Black ass lickers playing victim

I’d really appreciate it if y’all could take some time out of your day and check this blogger out for this particular post they made about me.

I already replied but I felt the need to make a post of my own because they are out of their fucking mind!

This cockroach came into my post and called me a sick fuck for saying that Aemond taking revenge on Lucerys is not equal to Daemon ordering the execution of an infant in its crib, the latter being obviously way more unethical, and they absolutely lost their shit when I paid them back with the same coin. Like, the fuck did you think was going to happen?

Hey skank @mikasaerens , is this you?

Not only does your psychotic self come into my post and instead of sharing your opinion in a polite and civil manner, you choose to verbally assault me by calling me a “sick fuck who needs to be put into an asylum and a watchlist” over my opinion on a fictional character, but your lying ass has the audacity to paint me as the villain when I come swinging at you for being an offensive little twat? And claiming that you are the victim for sharing your opinion about said character?

Who the fuck are you trying to fool? Look at the rest of your replies, lunatic:

Own the shit you say. This all happened because of the language you used against me unprovoked, not because you shared an opinion! This all starts with you. You absolutely deserve every fucking thing I said about you. Crying “wolf” when you initiated this shitshow by having no manners is batshit insane behaviour. But I shouldn’t be surprised though, you are a Lucerys apologist after all. Sickening!

Try reaching out to public mental health facilities if you can because starting a fight and then thinking you and your friends are gonna make me feel bad for defending myself must be a whole new level of mass hysteria. I walk the talk, dickhead. Can’t say the same about you.

Tell your meatriders that have blocked me because they don’t have the balls to say whatever they want face to face I said hi! I’m always keeping it real. I’ll say whatever the fuck I want with my full chest. And it’s always somehow you lowlifes jumping into my posts, sending anon hate and being vile as shit, because never once in my life have I bothered to reply to you losers’ opinions or reach out to you! Seek help!

It’s such a fucking shame because I know plenty of Team Black fans that don’t act in the disgusting way you do, insect.

[callsigndragon]

What were you thinking? | Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Word count: 1.3k

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x reader (pilot, wizzo... it's not specifies)

Warnings: mentions of Bradley's accident, yelling, swearing, maybe? i can't recall.

Prompt: yelling at them because they thought they'd lose them

It was difficult for Bradley to imagine a world in which his godfather, Mav, wasn’t present. That’s why when Maverick put himself in danger just to save him, he didn’t think twice and did what he thought was right. He put himself in risk, crashed his plane, and almost got himself killed just to prove that Maverick was still alive. 

Later on, Bradley would realize how wrong and how stupid he was. But that was something the Bradley of the future would have to worry about, not him. But then, just when he was about to jump into that old F-14 that neither he nor Mav knew if it worked, he remembered that there was someone waiting for him back in the carrier. You. The sweetest girl in the world, who had always been at his side ever since they met. 

The girl that right before he got into his plane made him promise that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. That he would come back to her. 

And guess what he just did. 

Now he just can pray and hope for Maverick to fly the F-14 back to the carrier without killing both of them. 

Fortunately, both pilots land on the carrier safe and sound, thanks to Hangman’s help. He gets out of the plane, celebrates with the rest of the Dagger squad the success of the mission, and then, when he turns around to look at you, the first thing he sees is your hand flying to slap his cheek. 

Needless to say, all celebrations stop right there and then. 

 “What was that for?” Bradley whines while rubbing his reddening skin.

“What was that for? Bradley, you crashed your aircraft. On purpose!” Your voice starts raising up with each word, and all the people around you decide that it’s a very good moment to leave and get back to work. 

Phoenix looks at Bradley, mouthing a big ‘you fucked up’ before leaving with the rest of the pilots and wizzos. 

“I had to save Mav, I told y’all he was alive.” Bradley waves it off, unzipping his flight suit. 

“And that justifies you risking your life like it means nothing.” You grab his helmet and throw it against his chest, but Bradley is quick enough to stop it with his hands. “You’re an absolute, massive, major himbo, Rooster.” 

“Oh yeah, that I am. But you don’t have to scream it around for everyone to hear!” 

“Don’t yell at me, Bradley Bradshaw.” You point a finger at him. “Because I’m not the one that almost got himself killed.” 

“I didn’t get myself killed, right? So stop yelling, for fuck’s sake.” He raises his voice too, matching your level. 

“You would be doing the exam same thing if I was the one that crashed his plane!” You make your final point, turning around on your heels and trying really hard to not cry. 

Deep down, Rooster knows you’re right. If you had been the one performing that stunt, he would have done the exact same thing you’re doing right now: yell at you. And that’s when he understands that you’re not doing it because you’re mad at him, even though it’s obvious that you are, but because you are scared. Scared of losing him. And he, instead of reassuring you that everything was okay now and that he would not do that again, just raised your voice and made the situation ten times worse. 

What an idiot he was. 

He finds you in your room, sitting in your bed, knees close to your chest and head between them, shielding yourself away from the world. Bradley knocks softly on the frame of the door, clearing his throat before he speaks. “Can I come in?” 

“If you’re gonna yell at me again, you can leave.” You say, voice muffled as you don’t raise your head to look at him. 

“I came to apologize. I can get on my knees if you want me to.” 

You raise your head, only enough for your eyes to be visible. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

He tilts his head, eyebrow raised and a smirk. “Is that a challenge?” 

You shrug, and he gets down on his knees, crawling to your bed, and making you chuckle at the vision of this tall man walking like this. “You’re an idiot.” 

“Yeah, in more ways than I like to admit.” He taps his index finger against your hand, waiting for you to open it, so he can grab it. You only move your pinky, and he grabs it with his own. “You were scared and instead of telling you that I won’t be doing that stupid thing again, I yelled at you. I’m sorry, love.” 

You let out a shaky breath, still shaken up by the whole succession of events. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you either, Roos. I’m sorry, too.” 

“It’s okay. We’re both idiots. I’m the bigger one, though. You can’t take that away from me.” 

You snort, shaking your head before circling your hand around his finger. “What were you thinking, Bradley?” 

“Well… actually, I didn’t think. Mav told to not think, just do. To follow my instincts.” 

You close your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to not yell at him again after hearing the reason why he risked his life. “And your instincts told you the best thing you could do was to turn back and crash the plain?” 

His lips form a straight line when he realizes what he just said. “Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.” 

“It should have never been an idea, in the first place.” You retort, flicking him on the forehead. 

He rubs the spot gently, nodding at your words. “You’re right. And I won’t do anything so stupid ever again. I’ll come back to you, sweets. Always.” 

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

“But I can try. And I’ll try every day for the rest of my life.” He swears, holding your hand against his chest, over his heart, a silent promise that he will try to return home safe and sound for you. “Am I forgiven?” 

“For now. Come here and give me a hug, you big idiot.” 

He lies on the bed with you, hugging you close and smelling the sweet perfume that lingers on your clothes, taking a deep breath now that he’s finally home. You’re his home. 

He’s about to fall asleep when a knock on the door makes him groan. Who’s disturbing this perfect moment of peace? 

He looks at the door, watching Hondo standing there, an angry, yet relieved, expression on his face. “Cyclone is looking for you.” 

“Cyclone?” 

“Yeah, you have to explain to him why did you go against direct orders and crashed a multi-million dollar aircraft.” He explains before he leaves. 

You look at him, biting your lip to not laugh. “You’re fucked up.” 

He lets his head fall again in your chest, groaning. “Do you think if I walk in Cyclone’s office on my knees, he’ll be less angry?”

“I don’t think that’ll work with him.” 

“Well, at least I can try.” He says, getting up from the bed and getting ready to beg Cyclone to not kick him out of the Navy. 

“Next time, think first, then do.” You say between chuckles, earning a middle-finger from Rooster before he leaves the room. 

[missmaywemeetagain]

Moonlight, A Pink Scarf Universe Story

A/N: So, I was challenged to do a prompt game, and since I'm desperately trying to fight my perfectionism and become more consistent with my writing, I took on the challenge and wrote this dramatic little heartbreaker this afternoon just under the wire like crazy person. I hope you enjoy this short, barely edited extension of Pink Scarf. It takes place a few months after the Christmas 1960 flashback in Part 16. (Please go easy on me because it is literally the least revised/edited thing I've ever put out and I desperately hope you like it 💗)

Thanks to @thatbanditqueen @whositmcwhatsit @ellie-24 @from-memphis-with-love @be-my-ally and @vintageshanny for challenging me to do this even when I wanted to convince myself I couldn't do it.

Prompt: “Do you mind? I came here to get away from other people.”

Rating: PG-13 || Word Count: 2k

TW: Miscarriage, medical trauma, angst, depression, intrusive thoughts

Moonlight

Hawaii, March 1961

The room is pressing in on you with all these jovial faces, celebrating in paradise after Elvis’ successful benefit concert for the Pearl Harbor Arizona Memorial. You should be celebrating with them.

You wish you could.

Instead, you are fighting back tears, praying that no one notices your frantic need to escape the otherwise wonderful atmosphere.

Elvis decided to bring you all along for a month-long vacation of sorts as he films his newest picture, Blue Hawaii, and performs the benefit concert to raise money for the Memorial. Y’all need some rest and recreation, he’d said joyfully, his eyes falling on you in particular, and how could you possibly refuse? It genuinely seemed like a great idea, even though he’d technically be working, and so would Jack by extension, but a change of scenery would do you some good after everything that's happened. Maybe you and Jack could reconnect on the tropical getaway, you’d thought.

But so much had happened since you agreed to this trip.

No one knew, of course. Not Jack. Not your family. Certainly not Elvis. You had made sure of it because you couldn’t stand the hopeful looks that would have come with the news, and the inevitable pity that would’ve come after.

The humid Hawaiian air coupled with the room full of people makes you feel as though you can’t draw a full breath. Lightheaded, you push your way through the throng of people filling the lavish home that had been rented for the express purpose of Elvis being able to stay comfortable and private during his shooting schedule. It’s an incredible relief once you burst out onto the patio, then stumble down the sandy path to the breathtaking beach.

Surprisingly, there’s not a soul on the moonlit sand, and for that you are eternally grateful because you cannot hold back your choked sobs any longer. The ebb and flow of the surf crashes over your crying, and you very much wish you could drown your sorrows in the vastness of the ocean in front of you.

Getting pregnant again was not even something you thought was possible. It was cruel, you thought, that you’d nearly made it 12 weeks this time before your body decided that it would reject the baby. You had just started to really, truly think it would be different this time. You were getting ready to tell Jack. You were almost, almost happy.

Even more cruel was that it was almost a year to the day of you bleeding out on the floor of the Rollerdome.

In some ways you’d been thankful that everyone had been so busy preparing for the trip that no one paid much mind to the fact that you locked yourself in the bathroom for hours, silently sobbing through the cramping and the bleeding and the clotting. You’d known then it was too late.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you hug your knees and begin to rock in the soft sand. At least it’s beautiful here, you think absently, trying to soothe yourself.

You’d taken to bed, claiming a bout of food poisoning, and no one was the wiser, being as excited and busy as they were. Not one of them seemed to bat an eye or think it was strange that no one else had any symptoms. A small part of you breaks a little at that, feeling more alone in the world than you ever have. But another part figures it’s just as well. Perhaps it is a blessing that no one knew of your latest failure. Honestly, you so were disappointed in yourself over it all you didn’t think could handle that disappointment from others, especially Jack.

Two days after losing your second child, you’d gotten on the plane to come here, spending hours upon hours with a false smile spread across your features. Maybe if you smiled enough you’d start to believe it. After all, you were in paradise with Elvis Presley. Millions would kill to be where you are.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be grateful for what you have, you berate yourself, as you have more than once on the trip. Not even the stunning beauty of the island has been able to push your thoughts away from your loss, your seemingly unending sorrow permeating even the most beautiful of sunsets.

The only moment when you’d felt truly free of it had been watching Elvis’ concert earlier. He was so mesmerizing that it was impossible not to be caught up in his performance. You’d been happy for the momentary distraction, for the way your heart had flip flopped a little at the sight of him in his element, sweaty and feeding off the crowd effortlessly. It was easy to get swept away amongst all the screaming fans, to understand why the man you’d called a friend was the sensation that he was, and to forget everything but him for just a little while.

But by the time this stupid afterparty rolled around, the dark cloud that followed you this past year found you once more, and you were honestly too tired to push it away any longer.

You can’t help thinking how you should have an infant with you now, that in a kinder world you’d have your baby and perhaps another on the way. But the world is not always kind. Instead you are empty and alone.

So you find yourself sobbing on a gorgeous beach in Hawaii in the middle of the night, finally allowing yourself to sit in the grief of your misfortune.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been out here before his tall, lanky frame towers over you, interrupting your grief so suddenly that you find yourself livid.

You furiously swipe the tears from your cheeks, knowing your makeup is smearing but not having the energy or wherewithal to care. “Do you mind? I came here to get away from other people,” you snap.

Even in the darkness, you see how taken aback he is by your anger, his pretty face shifting from surprise to annoyance.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who brought you to this beautiful place?” Elvis says lightly, but you can hear the edge in his tone. He’s not used to people speaking like that to him, least of all you.

Honestly, you’re not really sure when you last spoke to him at all. Since your strange little embrace on Christmas, he’d taken to avoiding you most of the time, yet again. Coupled with how empty you felt from your miscarriages, the fact that your friend had been so obviously (and seemingly purposefully) absent from your life in the past year was heartbreaking in its own right. It was like a slap in the face on top of your other failures, so far from the unbridled excitement he’d shown when he’d discovered your first pregnancy before anyone else had. So far from the love and care and attention he’d given you before.

You’re not sure you really understood how much it bothered you until this very moment. His sudden entitlement for attention and gratefulness makes your blood boil.

You pop up off the sand, pushing your windblown hair out of your face. “Oh, yes, how sorry I am that not every one of my thoughts is about your stunning generosity, your majesty,” you say sarcastically, viciously, before turning to stomp down the beach away from him. You’ve never, ever spoken to him this way, to anyone this way, but the darkness of your sorrow has flared into something else entirely, this blistering anger threatening to swallow you whole and take Elvis with you.

“Excuse me?” he says indignantly, grasping your arm and whipping you back to face him. His eyes flash in the darkness, both in confusion and with warning.

“Don’t touch me!” you spit, ripping your arm out of his grasp.

“What has gotten into you? What the hell did I do?” he shouts, his voice raising over the surf.

“Not everything is about you, Elvis!” you scream back at him.

For a second, it looks as if you’ve slapped him across the face, with the way his eyes widen in surprise.

You pause for a moment, breath heaving, before continuing. “And since when do you even care what’s going on with me?”

 “W-What are ya talkin’ about? O-Of course I care! I-I-I brought ya on this trip, d-d-didn’t I?” The emotions fly over his features so quickly it makes it too hard to discern what he’s thinking, but his stutter belies his frustration.

“You’ve barely talked to me in a year, Elvis. Can’t imagine why I’d think you care,” you scoff.

His eyes go dark, then blank, that Hollywood mask of his sliding over his features. “You’re nuts! You’re just bein’ crazy…” he starts, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I must be. I must be crazy thinkin’ my friend might give me the time of day after…everything that’s happened,” you hiss back.

Elvis blinks, his long lashes fanning over his cheekbones. You don’t know if he’s finally done the math in his head, figuring out that you nearly died and lost your baby almost exactly a year ago. Or maybe, like he’d somehow known you were pregnant the first time, he gleans some supernatural understanding of what might be happening with you now. Either way, his gaze softens dramatically.

“Oh, honey,” he says, “I didn’t—”

Yeah, you didn’t, you think bitterly. He didn’t do a lot of things. He wasn’t even there after you almost died. But you suppose being a star of his caliber didn’t leave him much time to slum it with you, not anymore. And why would he want to? Not when you’ve been depressed and have already failed at the one thing you felt you were created to do as a woman.

“Just leave me alone, E. You’ve gotten good at that,” you mutter, angry tears filling your eyes, turning away from him to stare out into the churning waves.

You can’t look at him. But you feel the heat of his eyes, nonetheless.

“Don’t do that, y/n,” he says quietly.

“Don’t do what? Speak the truth?”

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” he growls.

He doesn’t get to be angry. Not about this.

“No, you don’t know, Elvis. You have no idea what it’s been like, you couldn’t. And you haven’t even tried…” you trail off, shaking your head.

You know that’s a lie. Whatever had happened between you on Christmas had been something, as much as you’d tried to deny it and forget his strange behavior. Perhaps that had been him trying.

Suddenly, more than anything, you want him to pull you into his arms like he did that night three months ago. You want him to comfort you and let you sob against his chest, to inhale the distinct scent of him as the heat of his lean body presses into yours. You want the desperate tension that is climbing between you to shatter you and make you forget that the past year had ever happened.

But instead of drawing you close, you watch him put distance between you. You feel as he fortifies that invisible wall he’s built between you this past year. It’s only in the depths of his churning cobalt eyes that you see something akin to apology, along with something deeper that neither of you truly wants to unpack.

Then, Elvis shutters that churning away, his fist clenching and unclenching in time with his jaw. “Yeah, I guess not. I’ll leave ya alone, then.” And he turns and walks away.

Oh god. You feel as though you’ve been hit in the chest, pain radiating inexplicably through your torso, the claws of his dismissal ripping through your insides. You don’t know why. You wanted him to go, and he went.

You sink down into the sand, fresh tears pooling in your eyes, and you wish more than anything that the ocean would just swallow you whole.

Taglist:

@atombombbibunny @yesimwriting @uselessbutinteresting @mirandastuckinthe80s @dark-as-love

@domaniquessidehoe @im-lame-irl @allybrooke05 @hangmanswhore

@jazmin2211  @kvcssghbjbcd @coldonexx @dudinhahoff @whatstruthgottodowithit @tiredbuthappy  @amiets2  @saintmagx

@kvcssghbjbcd @butlersluvbot @babydollie43 @vainbimbo @meladollsims @wstelandbaby @dre6ming @normatural @ash-omalley @xcallmetaniax @galvz-42 @thejezebel @fullmetal-falcon @robinismywife @dre6ming @seaweedbrain00 @amiets2 @mslizziesblog @heisatroubleinapinksuit @calusussss @dont-feel-so-good-peter @rainydayz101 @pizzaisrelationshipgoals  

@liaaacantwrite @kittenlittle24 @kaitaesupremacy @butler-trouble @eliseinmemphis @russian-soft-bitch  @tattywood 

@sassanoe @re3kin @thella @suspiciousmidge @hiddlepiddlediddlewiddle @carolinesbookworld @juggernort @aesthetic-lyss @stitchattacks @donnamarie23 @ab4eva 

@fic-over-cannon @lacyluver @littlebitofgreen @paigevis @godlypresley @bugg06 @xhannahbananax03 @artlover8992

@18lkpeters @frozenhuntress67 @girlblogger2002 @kendralavon7 @elvisgf @misspresley @ohjustpeachyachy1 @whositmcwhatsit @be-my-ally @precious-little-scoundrellittle-scoundrel @vintageshannygeshanny @from-memphis-with-lovephis-with-love @prompted-wordsmithmith @ellie-2424 @thatbanditqueennditqueen @stylespresleyhearted  @elv1s-is-pretty @crash-and-cure

[idontplaytrack]

i fell asleep for 2hours bc my head felt heavy as hell but i just woke up to a bunch of comments from @frogs00 and @reneeswif3 and i nearly screamed maybe cried(im sick and emotional)‼️😬

i started writing bc i needed a way to cope with life’s stresses— more so in the last few years bc i was diagnosed with new chronic conditions after being disabled already since birth. so i was always lonely and made up stories in my head to entertain myself. home life’s honestly pretty messy so quite a bit of what i write into fics are drawn from real life experiences and emotions bc i believe that if i know what i’m writing it will make more sense. in a way, writing what i’ve written so far has given me closure on different things that i couldn’t have gotten elsewhere or in other ways bc it’s the main way i know how to deal with my problems.

i’m just so flattered and happy that people from so many places around the world connect with what i write and even like my writing — i honestly don’t know how to accept compliments like its lowkey scary to me — its a problem i have 🫥 i’ve met some of the sweetest people on here in such a short period of time and not gonna lie, you guys keep me going bc i’d just be having a bad day and y’all would like, comment or even reblog my fics. It just brings a smile to my face when I can’t.

Y’all would be surprised (maybe not) to know that my best friend is someone I have never met and lives halfway across the world from me. We met because of my Auli’i book on wattpad and we talk every single day now. She’s already been with me through so much (I’m chronically ill, everybody I feel like has run away from me or avoided me bc they don’t want to deal with a sick person and I get that. And sometimes friends just drift.) but she is just someone I appreciate so much because she isn’t afraid to be honest with me instead and ask questions. It’s so new to me but so refreshing because it’s forcing me to reflect and learn so much about myself.

People like you all that come across my works one way or another and leave an impression on my mind, I especially cherish because even a small gesture makes my whole day. I don’t even know exactly why I’m writing this much but at this point I’m crying and getting out what I’ve been feeling(you see?🥲)

okay, okay. i’m done. i adore yall, you lovely human beings. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[notstilinski]

Abbott Elementary Starters !

Taken from season two the 2022 ABC series, Abbott Elementary! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers!

“I took it as an opportunity to grow. Not physically, of course, because I can’t reach the top shelves in my apartment.”

“Sea (Name) is very different than Land (Name).”

“If this is what they expect of us, it’s can’t be unrealistic.”

“Are you about to get evicted?!”

“I thought coming into work a full adult would be my solution, but I’m drowning.”

“I get it now. I’m not not a fan.”

“Then why do I have to see Chris Pratt everywhere?!”

“Oh, I don’t do that anymore. Because I’m in therapy and anger management.”

“Oh, we don’t take bribes — That aren’t in the form of money.”

“I think she’s saying I’m a broke boi.”

“(Name), I said that I don’t want to go to a strip club with you.”

“I hope all the kids aren’t here today. Yesterday, almost everybody was in attendance and it almost broke me.”

“You don’t want to be a corny legend.”

“Ya’ll gotta stop playing God with that boy’s life.”

“I’m not in the mood to improve-d at.”

“(Name) tells me I sound like a lesbian. I’m working on that.”

“And one of those is the right side, which is mine.”

“Are you two in a fight? Looks like ya’ll in a fight.”

“Poison? You know I ain’t poisoning anybody. If I’m taking someone out, I want to watch them go.”

“I’m starting to think that I didn’t grow into the person I’m proud of because of it, but maybe I did despite of it.”

“What’s that I taste? The taste of sweet victory?”

“Who does everybody get so surprised when I say I’ll help? I’m a professional.”

“You time yourself going to the second floor?”

“It don’t count if I don’t have my Fitbit on.”

“I haven’t seen you this made since the bartender cut you off at the batting cages.”

“Disguises, crime, looking hot? These are my specialities.”

“Okay, well, thank you for the donation to my mouth.”

“I’m just one of those people where chaos really affects my mood so I’m just gonna call it a day.”

“Ghost, ghouls and new friends.”

“Oh, like y’all came tell these moderately attractive white men with bears apart.”

“You truly do have the taste of a middle aged midwestern mama.”

“And now you’ve made me an accessory.”

“I Googled it. But I like to maintain that aura of dark mystery.”

“This is cutting into my pre happy hour hour.”

“All these wasted eggs when the (Name) is in town. Now I’ve got to throw a Molotov cocktail at their bus.”

“And I want to shield them with the best defense: Positivity.”

“The emergency is… I don’t feel like it right now.”

“Merry Capitalism to you all.”

“You know what? They’re a lot like paint fumes. Small doses? Fine — Even somewhat enjoyable. But too much just gives you a headache.”

“Yeah, after I introduce myself, you know. Start dating, get super clingy, abs go through his phone he might be.”

“That’s right. Now go ahead and make Juvenile proud.”

“Is that my work husband grinding on my work nemesis?”

“I’m sorry, you look like you’re in deep thought.”

“I drink a lot of Snapple so I kind of know some facts.”

“I know plenty of people who have counted me out before and, while I have absolutely no way of confirming this, I’m positive they’re all dead.”

“Sorry, so your- You dad, he hired an actor to play his child instead of just asking you?”

“Don’t look at me like that, he gave me his number.”

“I was both the hostage negotiator and the hostage.”

“Well, I’m a pacifist. You mess with me, I’ll pass a fist across your face.”

“We are watching the first Toy Story because the third one makes me cry.”

“What in the Earth, Wind and Fire is going on here?!”

“Okay. She’s robbed a child.”

“Aw. Disposable income.”

“Do you want to pinch my cheeks? My mom says it helps.”

“Well, that was before I realized that I have an insecure attachment style. I now recognize it for the disdain that it is.”

“I don’t think an adult has ever apologized to me before.”

“I will kick your (Name)-loving Valentine’s Day ass right out of this building.”

“Shame. So hot, yet so annoying.”

“I am one minor inconvenience away from putting this whole day in rice.”

“Mandates are nothing more than fervent suggestions.”

“Just because you got a round face like the Teletubbies sun baby doesn’t mean that the world revolves around you.”

“It’s cool that no matter what I do, no one is happy.”

“Let’s say that (Name) has a bubbly personality to cover up deep-seated mommy issues.”

“The silver lining about dating is that you only have to be correct about someone /once./“

“Last night, as the kids would say, was a film.”

“That is bisexual erasure. I expected better from you.”

“You’re a dork but you’re messy.”

“Weird cash floating around? Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“Come on. Let’s go bully some sensitive artists.”

“Now you two need to get on board. Who we fighting first?”

“That’s why Mothers Day was invented. So less mothers would leave their families.”

“Don’t give Jesus my credit.”

“Nothing good has ever come from nerds whispering.”

“It’s because you abandon people, and it’s nice to finally hear you say it out loud.”

“People had hopes for you, and they gave up on me!”

“I get why you left (Name), it just kind of felt like you left me, too.”

“My night terrors have spread into day terrors. I can’t tell if I’m asleep right now or if this is some kind of waking nightmare.”

“Why can’t you ever give me credit for a good idea?”

“My lies don’t discriminate.”

“Never have I been so happy to hear such explicit content.”

“At the end of the day, they have to decide who they want to be. And this one decided to be a jackass.”

“So what you’re going to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, come back here tomorrow and do your job.”

“People have thrown dirt on my name, others have given flowers. It’s all a garden to me.”

“I love the company of others. But I’m trying to like my own.”

“I’m just gonna go back to avoiding her and never asking her for anything.”

“You would beat my ass, wouldn’t you?”

“The key to never getting your ass beat? Knowing when someone can beat your ass.”

“Note to self: New way to manipulate. Step one: have a daughter. Step two: Play the long game.”

“I’m a master forager. My speciality? Mushrooms.”

“I don’t know how to leave this conversation.”

“I’m counting on those tiny fists for very precise blows.”

“Yeah. I take all your recommendations seriously — I want to know why you like stuff.”

“Uh-uh. I don’t like clanks in bags. Clank-clank leads to clink-clink.”

“No wonder your dad’s a landscaper, the way you beat around the bush.”

“You need to be better at hiding things with your face.”

“Everybody I like knows it. (Name) and Diego Luna has seen my tweets.”

“If I don’t get a smooth eleven hours, I get a little handsy.”

[shatterthefragments]

I asked hey since you’re going upstairs anyways could you take this bin of laundry too instead of accepting your bowl to bring up (I always do if I don’t have stuff to bring up) but no. And then “this too”

I’m going to “this too” myself to fucking death if I’m not careful. (I’m too tired. I’m Very Aware I don’t even have time for a good cry right now because dealing with my laundry SAME DAY isn’t fucking enough. And I’m not getting much help that’s out of the ordinary. And I’m just. Not Enough as an adult.

Maybe mum would help me hang some of this wet laundry. But maybe not.

“But I work tomorrow” “doesn’t matter.”

And if I want mum to get to vote I’m the one that needs to drag her ass there. (Fuck. I. Fuck. Just. Not the conservatives please. )

And I mean. Probably part of this is that my period started too. (Which honestly thank fuck bc I do not want to be on heavy days for inner thigh tattoo day). But like. I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time to wallow. I don’t have time to type this shit out. I should’ve been asleep an hour ago. More if I actually went in earlier. Maybe half an hour. Maybe FUCK YOU and I’ll make myself breakfast at 4am y’all can go back to sleep after. I just need to not kill myself or anyone else and to drive I need to FUCKING SLEEP.

I.

I was feeling SO GOOD. I got to visit with my friend from class and meet their cats!!! I got the errands done. I got some bakery rewards. I got my glasses dropped off and perhaps they’ll maybe cover new frames since they’re under warranty hopefully but idk. I got home and made food. I did two loads of laundry technically sort of. But I can’t do it all. I can’t. And I can’t ever do enough for you. But unless you want to pay me at least 2/3 of what I’m making now (which I KNOW you can’t actually afford) I don’t really have the spare time to clean the house in that way. I just. I’m crashing out again. (I’m so glad I got some kitty time and socialization though)

[the-chihayafuru-landslide]

In Defense of the Ending of Chihayafuru [PART 1]

Well I never thought I would be writing something like this because mainly I wanted to use my blog to discuss Taichihaya because that’s all my biased ass is interested in is the romance. I’m a consistent bitch through and through, unlike some of y’all. But I feel this topic is a bit more of a pressing matter since currently people over on twitter have been fist fighting in PQRT over the ending (still lol). Which, you know my ass couldn’t stay out of because I love pissing myself off and being boo boo the fool.

Posting this again just as a petty reminder since I am sore winner.

One of the best tweets in recent memory was someone calling Taichihaya a tacked on wattpadd romance and was Suetsugu selling out to thirsty fans. I truly think it’s lovely people think that Suetsugu had so little integrity and would would spend 15 years on a manga and throw it down the drain in the final chapter! Nah, if that was the case and she genuinely wanted to placate everyone, I think she would have picked the friendship route. (Especially since Arata won the most recent online [ rigged ] popularity poll lmao I’m sure she was nervous as hell when that happened) If there was no romance conclusion then both Taichihayas and Chiharatas alike would be shrugging our shoulders and fighting in the parking lot behind a Burger King till the end times. Honestly, I’m so glad we don’t live in that timeline because I don’t think I could handle being a Taichihaya solider against these absolute units. Their stubborn persistence in their own biased reading of Chihayafuru is truly remarkable despite the thousands of arguments that have been thrown at them. I wish I was so uncritical in my life because my thoughts are constantly oscillating when presented with new information to try and get to the closest version of the “truth”. Which requires you to admit when you are wrong and not be blinded by your own hubris. Heh (I’m realizing now why people don’t like me considering I say shit like this completely straight)

Before we address some of the writing criticisms that have been thrown at the ending, let’s get this obligation out of the way: the ending is not perfect. No singular piece of media is and can ever be. But for what Suetsugu managed to accomplish and (IMO) hitting every necessary story beat in 80 pages is actually very impressive. I’ll be honest, I was at times shaking my head wondering how she could do it.

Suetsugu was writing this manga for 15 years and was trying to get to the ending as quickly as she could (originally she wanted it to end it in 49 volumes but got convinced by her editor to stretch it to 50 volumes which thank god). So using the words of someone else (who every so often says something that I regrettably agree with), I think we can all afford to give this mangaka a bit of grace.

At the same time no matter what the conditions were for the ending’s creation, the ending still is what it is and that doesn’t make it above criticism. But some of the criticisms I’ve had the pleasure to read (derogatory) have made me want to rip out my hair. I can’t even be nice, y’all are just being fuckin purposely obtuse, hypocritical, or partaking in bad faith cinema sins level criticism.

I can understand being frustrated as hell that things didn’t resolve the way you thought they would (trust me I’d still be crying to this day if Taichihaya wasn’t canon) but the actual hoops people have tried to jump through, like criticizing things that UP UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER DID NOT BOTHER THEM IN THE SLIGHTEST, so they can point to anything other than what they are really mad about: that the ship they wanted to see didn’t end up happening and that Arata and Chihaya’s relationship not being romantical in the end has apparently no merit unless Chihaya told him EXPLICITLY at the end what a special little boy he is. I’d have more respect for some of you if you just came out and said it outright instead of being like every other theme and arc was also ruined by Chihaya’s confession lmao. I guess that’s just Chihaya’s power as a protagonist to ruin her own story by confessing. SHE IS A QUEEN IN EVERY SENSE. But of course people don’t want to say they were upset about the shipping b/c they spent how long (years?) tearing down those dastardly Taichihayas for only caring about that! Oh how the turntables.

Now I’m a chaotic individual and this entire thing is written purely in spite (I’m reading Skip Beat so I’m living my Kyoko fantasy) but before we get into the meat of my arguments; I’m going to break down the criticisms I’ve read about the ending into three categories:

1. Unresolved Plot Points

2. Unsatisfying conclusions to plot points

3. Things we should have seen but didn’t

I’m going to be discussing all three types of criticisms loose and free because thankfully I am not in academia anymore. So it’s going down, I’m yelling timberrrr. I just want to mention, with added emphasis, when I am discussing the criticisms filed under the third point- “things we should have seen but didn’t”, I want to acknowledge that it is ok for people to be sad about not seeing the thing they wanted to see. Even if thing wasn’t that important, and didn’t actually ruin the story.

I too had many things I wanted to see that Suetsugu did not feel necessary to include. Like yeah sure, I got my ship and even my crack ship (Arata x Sumire shippers manifesting their ship out of thin air like they were rubbing a lamp) yet I am greedy as hell. For all of our suffering as Taichihaya shippers (me for like 6 months some people for a literal decade) with Taichi and Chihaya being purposely kept apart in the story for literal years; at the end when they finally are a couple I wanted to see Taichihaya dating fluff and also their wedding (the way I felt so emboldened by reading the spin off for Eden No Hana that I truly believed it could happen). I should mention real quick that I sorta think ending a story with characters getting married is at this point a bit outdated and also kind of idk “tacky” yet the fervour I wanted to see a Taichihaya wedding made the feminism crawl back inside me and die. My life is filled with contradictions.

However, with things we want to see, to judge whether or it was necessary and or good to be included in the story we have to ask ourselves these questions: what does it add to the story? Is it necessary? What themes does it build? Is it redundant? Is it fun? Does it help resolve plot elements? Does it build characters? Etc etc etc

I actually do think some Taichihaya dating fluff would have been a nice way to wrap up the ending on a nice positive outlook for Chihaya and Taichi’s future together and provide a bit of breathing room after all the trauma and depression that’s happened (WE WERE SUFFERING FOR 100 CHAPTERS AND ALMOST 10 YEARS). I WASN’T EVEN ASKING FOR ANYTHING THAT DEEP IT COULD BE TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WALKING SIDE BY SIDE FOR A SINGLE PANEL HOLDING HANDS.

This could have been us and I would have been satisfied BUT NOooooo

IT would have been fkin nice, yet it wasn’t completely necessary. We kind of /got this/ with the slight time skip the end. You just have to squint your eyes and read it through subtext (something apparently Taichihayas are good at lmao).

With the final pages of the story we got: Taichi and Chihaya confirmed to be dating, them wearing tasukis together in the final spread (y’know as they did before as a team lmao), and Chihaya’s random hair change suggesting maybe they went on a date beforehand… Yeah these things suggest that the two of them are doing well despite living in different cities, attending different universities, and not even being able to see each other since they started dating (fk me up). Does it hurt me that’s all we got in the ending? You know it does. Do I completely agree with Yuki Suetsugu’s writing choice? No. I WANT A MORSEL OF FLUFF OF SOMETHING I AM A STARVING VICTORIAN CHILD AND I NEED A SINGLE CRUMB. The way we only got a single panel in the spin off chapter and it Taichi and Chihaya in the same tournament just a different angle… IT IS A CRIME BUT don’t worry about me, I’m completely fine yep CoOl as a cUcumber. We as a fandom expect nothing so we bounce off the walls when we are served air.

Ok what was the point of this rant? Oh, that we all want to see things for fun even when they don’t serve a purpose because it makes us happy and isn’t the point of stories… enjoyment? However, I’m going to be a dick and shit on your dreams because I didn’t get everything I wanted, why should you lmao.

But again, I do understand the lamenting at least.

Alright now I’m done the intro (if you can call all of that nonsense an intro) let’s discuss the actual criticisms. Again this is in no particular order and I won’t be addressing every single criticism I’ve ever read (like not even gonna touch the 2chan comments about Chihaya being a sl*t because I don’t feel like giving misogynists the time of day lmao) just the ones I feel like.

[ 1 ] Taichi’s Arc Was Ruined by Chihaya’s Confession

You know this would be the first thing I would address because I am the number one most die hard annoying Taichi fan (or at least I hope people think of me as so). I actually have an unfinished twitter thread on why Taichi’s arc wasn’t ruined, which will someday see the light of day, so for now I won’t go in as much detail (LMAO unfortunately this isn’t at all concise, the things I do for this fictional man).

Taichi’s character was apparently supposed to be the personification of a loser and Arata a winner. Y’know because Arata was bullied in his childhood and in a stylized reality that means you get everything you have ever wanted and the person who bullied you can never be redeemed instead has to be punished by the universe forever for the crimes of his youth. It’s just and completely fair, yes, if you make one mistake when you are 10 it will define you for the rest of your life.

Ok jokes aside, I think the majority of the fandom /kind of/ understood the vague outline of Taichi’s arc: it was about taking a risk and not being a coward. It actually takes a kind of vulnerability to actually put effort into something: whether that be a relationship or a sport because all of your hard work could literally amount to nothing. Losing only hurts if you care about winning. But winning only feels like a win when it is earned (maybe that’s why nobody cared that Arata got Meijin because his ass was at times too OP lmao). This applies both Karuta (Taichi’s initial belief that there was no point in taking Karuta seriously because he could never beat Arata) and in love (he dated some random girl he didn’t care about b/c it was easy).

So in that sense, I somewhat agree with Taichi’s arc was about appreciating the journey “to love that desperation” to keep trying and not take the easy way out. That getting rejected after you confess your feelings to the girl you’ve been in love since childhood and losing by a huge margin of 18 cards fkin sucks and will hurt so much; but that doesn’t make any of the time spent on it worthless. Not only that, but you can and should still keep trying. (In Karuta I mean. If you get rejected please don’t be like Arata and say lmao I’ll try again because I’m moving to your city to be closer to you)

Even though Taichi had a tenuous love/hate relationship with Karuta, At the end of the day, it still gave Taichi everything that is dear to him: his friends, teachers, and the dream to bet his whole youth. Hence why I will fight to say I that I do like the hug with Arata b/c Taichi finally got acknowledged by his rival (or his core). It just stings after Arata smoked Taichi’s ass with an 18 card victory lmao. Like on the one hand yippee Arata acknowledged him… on the other Arata giving a hug still reads a bit patronizing sorry idc. I love and hate the hug. I look at the panel of them hugging and I’m like aww my babies :) then I read the whole arc and I’m liek TAKE YOUR FKIN HUG ARATA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. Sorry I got off topic there. (Unfortunately this is neither the first or last time that will happen).

The ending wraps up Taichi’s arc perfectly because he spent the whole manga not really having a firm Karuta “dream” (goal?) of his own (he kind of does but it’s too complex to get into right now so for simplicity’s sake we’ll say this). He watched his friends make a pact to become Meijin and Queen and though he basically facilitated this moment, he was not included. The “outsider”, the one left behind while Chihaya and Arata had bond through their Karuta dream.

No Taichi did not need to be symbolically made the reader at the end of the story- this was the perfect use of the childhood imagery to show how Taichi felt like the worthless one in their friend group.

Taichi had every reason to quit Karuta after he got his single win against Arata (and also because Chihaya had “rejected” him). Instead, seeing his friends accomplish their dreams inspired him to keep trying. (Hence his practice swings in the hallway). Then at the end of it all he challenged Arata that he would come back next year and take the Meijin title, throwing himself back into Karuta after his most devastating 18 card loss. The difference now from before lies in Taichi’s motivations. Before he wanted to win for other people: he wanted Suou to visit his family and he wanted to see Chihaya’s win from the closest spot. Which is not necessarily a bad reason to do things, but a central theme of Chihayafuru from the first chapter is making a dream for YOURSELF. So when he finally challenges Arata at the end it’s the perfect ending to his arc because he’s doing it for nobody else other than himself. He’s already lost the chance to win Chihaya’s love through Karuta and Suou has visited with his family that he’s been avoiding for all these years.

Alright so now that we’ve covered his Karuta arc, so what about the romance arc? Obviously, Taichi was a loser there too because he got rejected after confessing his feelings to Chihaya (until Chihaya pulled an uno reverse at the end).

Immediately after getting rejected, Taichi distanced himself from Chihaya and also the club completely cutting himself off from all of them (mostly). But this action was never narratively treated as Taichi trying to punish Chihaya. SO MANY PEOPLE interpreted this action as emotional manipulation since OOO he hurt her feelings. Yeah, her feelings were hurt and so were his? If he was actually manipulating her, then he’d have to have some underlying goal he was trying to accomplish? Taichi was basically like me very sad and right now I don’t want to be around Chihaya anymore or my friends or the sport I loathe (but love) because I’m not a superhuman robot and I do have feelings and those feelings right now are suffocating me fdkcnkjac. HE NEVER ONCE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS SOME MASTER SCHEME TO GET HER TO LOVE HIM OR TEACH HER A LESSON AS REVENGE FOR HURTING HIM. He just needed space because he wanted to figure out who he was and also at this point his perfect grades were suffering. Chihaya’s rejection wasn’t the only thing that made him quit the club anyways- he was already going through a downwards spiral LONG BEFORE THIS starting with his loss against Chihaya at Yoshino. Chihaya’s rejection was just the final drop in a cup that was already too full. It was going to spill over regardless and Chihaya’s love wouldn’t have saved him.

In fact Taichi never brought up his rejection to her at all. The only scene that we got where Taichi truly acted poorly (and even then it didn’t really affect Chihaya) was when he derived some satisfaction of knowing that Chihaya was hurting because of him. It’s a very real emotion even if it’s an ugly one; which I’m sure we’ve all felt at sometime in our life… But it’s a feeling which he himself feels guilty about having. Because maybe… he doesn’t actually… Want to hurt Chihaya? But because he thinks the worst of himself, the fact he even felt momentarily good that she might be hurting too, makes him not want to ever be apart of Chihaya’s life anymore (he can’t go back). Yes this is all apart of his master scheme where he selfishly thinks that he doesn’t even deserve to be in Chihaya’s life! Taichi the incel or whatever.

Taichi and Chihaya did eventually start mending their relationship slowly and gradually over the course of the last 100 chapters. Taichi came back to watch Chihaya win against Arata, he apologized for ditching the club, they cleaned the clubroom together (things accumulated), and then they played as a team in the Qualifiers and Challengers. Taichi had time to process the rejection but based on the final chapter, and tbh EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER AFTER 205, seeing Chihaya and Arata side by side accomplishing their dreams and looking like an amazing couple (y’know thing he wanted for himself) hurts him even if he is also simultaneously happy for them. Taichi is written like a human being and not a happy go lucky robot that can take every single L in life and be better off for it.

Part of Taichi’s initial motivations for becoming good at Karuta were toxic: he wanted to get good so that Chihaya could notice him and then maybe she would fall in love with him. Since Taichi knew Chihaya was a “Karuta Baka” and seemingly only got flustered when she saw someone with skill (for example her first “crush” was on her married sensei LMAO).

Like was Taichi himself CLEARLY THINKS THAT CHIHAYA NEEDS A KARUTA MAN TO LOVE. Which he’s kinda right about at least initially lol.

So for Taichi actually the most important thing was not to “get over” his love for Chihaya, in fact what Taichi needed to find his own reasons to play Karuta outside of Chihaya’s love. Almost like it might have been linked to a void speech Or sOMething.

In the end, he FINALLY picks himself and his feelings by moving away instead of doing everything in his life for Chihaya’s sake (and lol he was never gonna stay in Tokyo just for Arata be serious). Which to me is not a bad idea, considering how much of his feelings he still carried the distance would help him be able to move on. It would not be good for anyone for him to remain in Tokyo being completely miserable and jaded while your two friends are in the beginning stages of their relationship (cause yeah Taichi the #1 strongest Chiharata believer in the manga). He was stepping away at least partially for their sakes as well.

Nor do I consider his decision to leave Tokyo a “cowardly” move? Taichi is leaving behind his life, his friends, his sensei(s), and his family and moving to someplace completely new. That takes bravery. Arata at least has a support network in Tokyo (outside of Chihaya and Taichi even!) like Hydro, Nishida, and the Shirinami society… who tf does Taichi even know in Kyoto lmao.

Unfortunately Taichi was not completely ok by the end of the manga. Sorry, it didn’t fit into your neat little timeline for when you thought Taichi should be comfortable being the third wheel for his two Karuta baka friends. He has the self esteem of a broken kite. Badum tsssss.

Nor was it like he dropped the news that he was moving away with the intention of hurting Chihaya even more and manipulating her to fall in love with him.

Taichi if he was still in his villain arc: “don’t call me. Don’t come to my house. We’re done.”

In Taichi and Chihaya’s final conversation in the clubroom Taichi doesn’t hide that he’s moving and states he simply needs a change of scenery but assures Chihaya that they will surely see each other again because they will always have Karuta. That is the exact same promise they made to each other as they were kids; a promise of everlasting friendship through their shared passions.

Sure, one could argue, because he wasn’t in Tokyo, they wouldn’t be as close as they before the break up and therefore he “didn’t really give her their friendship back”… BUT TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WOULD NEVER BE AS CLOSE as they were in high school!! In high school they were able to see each other every single day. BUT even if Taichi had stayed in Tokyo, all of them (Arata included) would be going to different universities. They would all be busy with their own studies and would probably only see each other at the Shirinami society (if Taichi and Chihaya only remained friends). So to be honest the distance only really stings if they decided to date (which they did so fk me upppp). Like it’s part of growing up, you don’t get to see your school friends as often anymore. It sucks, but that’s the way life is. But that doesn’t mean your friendship is worthless because you don’t live in the same city anymore? WE HAVE CELLPHONES.

We can debate all we want if Taichi wouldn’t have moved to Kyoto IF Chihaya confessed earlier but ultimately it doesn’t change the fact that in the end he put his feelings first. Which is what he should do!! HE SHOULD NOT ROLL OVER AND GET STEAM ROLLED BY TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE SELFLESSLY FOR ARATA AND CHIHAYA FCK YOU.

Off topic rant: but when Arata announced to Taichi that he was moving to Tokyo why did people think that it was something Arata did for Taichi? At that point TAICHI DEADASS THOUGHT TO HIMSELF SCREW YOU ARATA YOU’RE MY ENEMY. Arata did not know how to read the fking room it was lowkey embarrassing for him!! He didn’t ask Taichi if he wanted him there he assumed that they all wanted the trio back together. At this point in time TAICHI DID NOT.

However, the most important reason why it didn’t ruin Taichi’s arc is that Chihaya’s confession is not framed as Taichi’s “reward” for being cool with them being friends. Chihaya’s agency is at the forefront of her confession - it’s absolutely her choice. It’s the culmination of Chihaya’s arc of self discovery and finally being able to express her feelings with the help of her friends and finally knowing what those feelings are. She had been pondering her damn feelings for Taichi for 100 chapters like I’m very sorry that you missed it- but that’s on you

Just because it’s an annoying trope in other media where the rejected boy was the one the protagonist wanted all along does not instantly make it bad when it appears in a story… you have to look at how it’s executed. I know you some of you wanted a “progressive” story where the rejected boy “friend friend” would continue just be your closest friend even after getting rejected. But if that’s what you wanted, we got that with Arata? So like… huh. Why does it NEED to be Taichi? Is the universe who has it out for him or is it you because you hate him.

Chihaya’s confession wasn’t about Taichi’s feelings nor Arata’s but hers and hers alone so stfu about it “ruining Taichi’s arc” bitch ass what? It only ruins his arc if you were grading it under the incorrect assumption that Taichi’s big lesson was that he needed to be a loser in every aspect of life while Arata is a special boy who did nothing wrong ever therefore gets everything <3 IT WAS NEVER IMPLIED THAT SUETSUGU WAS WRITING TAICHI THIS WAY NOR IS THIS THEME THROWN OUT IF TAICHI IS THE ONE WHO GETS LOVED BACK? WHY DOES HE NEEDED TO BE A LOSER IN EVERYTHING?? HE ALREADY LOST IN KARUTA AND MADE PEACE WITH “LOSING” IN LOVE. I think it’s better actually that disappointment in life was split between two characters (Arata and Taichi) because it’s realistic that every character faces some disappointment in their life and has learn to cope?

Which is a perfect Segway to my next point:

[ 2 ] Arata needed to be formally rejected (again but better)

In the hell that is Chihayafuru discourse land where there are clowns on either side of the argument: there are two camps when it comes to Chihaya’s “answer” (or not a reply) to Arata’s confession. There are those who believe that Arata was never rejected that Chihaya instead said “wait until after I am Queen and then I’ll reject you” and there are those who believe Arata had already been soft rejected in ch 173.

It was funny the collective breakdown the other side had when Suetsugu said in a now deleted tweet that Arata had been soft rejected here and he knew it… THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE? SO MUCH FOR THEIR BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING

I was, of course, in the camp that believed that Arata had been soft rejected in this moment because Chihaya said “this is what’s up right right now” and mentioned nothing about having feelings for him. She just wanting to accomplish her dream and be the best in the world at Karuta. Saying “I’m focusing on other things” is actually not an uncommon way to let down people in Japan since it is more polite than saying outright that you’re not interested. Moreover, Chihaya never asks him to wait for a response… You’ll notice he says all of that about “coming closer” to her unprovoked. But I’m not discussing whether or not this was a rejection (this time). For the sake of the argument, let’s say Arata wasn’t rejected here… Then what.

This is apparently what people wanted Chihaya to say to him:

“Arata I realized at chapter 93 that I will always love you and Karuta but I actually lied to myself. You see I wanted to bait the omniscient presence that watches over my life because I like making people look like clowns. But yeah, don’t worry not all is lost I do love you but maybe like a friend though not a lover. Even though your confession was the one I preferred because it was like a marriage proposal. Anyways at least you’re Meijin and I am so utterly grateful for you all you’ve done for me like introducing me to the sport. Thanks so much for being the biggest support of me like when you made a team so I could beat your ass. Anyways learn how to use your phone ok? Love ya but not that way bye!”

Ok sorry LOL moving on. So the camp that thinks Chihaya did not reject Arata in that moment, did everyone think that Chihaya’s answer to his confession was “yes” and that she knew in that moment but she wanted to wait until after she had accomplished her dream to tell him so? GOD IT’S SO HARD TO EVEN ADDRESS CRITICISMS OF THE ENDING WITHOUT HAVING TO BREAK DOWN WHY THESE BELIEFS HAD NO PROPER FOUNDATION TO STAND ON TO BEGIN WITH. Because if Chihaya knew in that moment that she loved Arata back, wouldn’t she have said “this is an answer to your response” or MAYBE she would have said something along what Rion said to Makoto.

LIKE SENSEI DIDN’T PUT THIS IN FOR FUNSIES IT WAS TO TRY AND HELP PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER YOURSELF. “IS IT BETTER NOT TO SAY THIS NOW?”

So anyways, Chihaya did not promise after becoming the best in Japan that she would respond to him with a yes. In fact, she never said she would respond to him at all? So…

With the two added pages off in the Tankobon, it became clear that Chihaya didn’t even have all of her feelings sorted out by the time she became Queen. So we can simply write off Arata needing to be formally rejected directly after he won Meijin because Chihaya did not know yet how she felt. Thank you so much Suetsugu for that.

Which even if she had fully sorted her feelings and decided that she loved Tacihi… I agree with the notion that it would actually be super shitty for Chihaya to ruin probably the best day of Arata’s life with a rejection? Like “congrats on the win buddy, anyways I don’t love you! Ok BYE”

Like why would you think that is a better outcome for him? But I get it, this would be the last moment Chihaya and Arata would see each other before uni because of the simple fact he lived in Fukui so if she was going to say something in person then it would have to be there.

But thankfully Arata gave Chihaya a little more leniency, to you know, let him know how she felt (if it was any different) when he moved to Tokyo. So quite frankly it’s not even like he asked her to respond to him after she became best in the world EITHER.

So then the alternative to telling him in person would be to what… Text Arata the moment Chihaya and Taichi started dating? PLEASE HOW WOULD A TEXT BE BETTER? I don’t know, YOU GUYS ALWAYS SAID Arata was apparently pretty chill waiting too? So it’s not like he was urgently fading away and they were so heartless for not texting him the MOMENT they got together. What is he, the Jesus in their relationship?

I just wanted a reason to put this meme here

So I think honestly the best thing was in fact to tell Arata TOGETHER the next time Taichi and Chihaya saw him in person. Chihaya did not need to pull him aside alone and have a deep conversation and tell him his worth to her as a friend? Their relationship would actually remain the same because the thing Arata did want the most was a future where the three of them (the trio) could be together whereas TAICHI WANTED A FUTURE ALONE WITH CHIHAYA.

Like for example Taichi even though he had more time to process his rejection it’s not like him and Chihaya ever had a heart to heart about what happened either so it’s odd you think Taichi would have not needed one but Arata should have?

I also think Arata probably won’t need as much time to process the rejection because he’s already been established to brush off adversary quickly. Plus let’s give him a little credit he’s been waiting for almost a year for a response for his confession like… The guy should have had time to think perhaps Chihaya’s answer would be no with how long it took to get back to him. Does that make him a bit pathetic? Yeah. And that’s ok because I love a pathetic man.

Taichi’s presence was probably also needed because when you think about it last time Chihaya tried to reject Arata he said “just you wait I’m coming to be closer to you”. SO maybe she thought oh if my boyfriend is here he’ll take it as a clearer no… BUT THEN ARATA STILL MADE THAT JOKE ABOUT WINNING HER AT 28 REGARDLESS. Like Arata my little bi disaster please you’re not helping your own case cdndkncj. But honestly no hate to Arata using comedy to cope. WHY DO YOU THINK I AM SO FUNNY?? I learned at a young age if you make fun of the way people make fun of you that their insults hurt less. Wow I’m dropping my trauma in the essay about the ending of Chihayafuru I’m so classy.

But the biggest thing is CHIHAYA SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REJECT ARATA BEFORE CONFESSING TO THE GUY SHE LIKES. Like you guys are fricking weird placing more importance over Arata’s feelings INSTEAD OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? IT’S HER ARC OF SELF DISCOVERY AND I WOULD NOT HAVE EXPECTED HER TO GO BACK AND TALK TO TAICHI BEFORE ACCEPTING ARATA’S CONFESSION EITHER.

It’s funny coming from the people being like “I SHIP THE SHIP WHERE THE GIRL CLEARLY LIKES THE GUY AND YOU LOSERS ARE NOT RESPECTING HER AGENCY CAUSE SHE REJECTED THE OTHER” the way that broke down when the character picked the one you didn’t like or even consider could be still in the running.

So no, the story didn’t need Arata to be re-rejected in a more formal manner in the ways you guys are suggesting. However, I do think some aftermath for Arata’s story was actually necessary as he didn’t feel like he fully “grew up” compared to Taichi and Chihaya. Then my wish was granted because in the spin off chapter we see Arata coping with his heartbreak and moving to a new city without the expectation having his childhood trio back again.

LIKE in the spin off Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata’s relationship is honestly the best it’s ever been? They text each other more frequently (Arata learned how to use his cellphone) and Arata even talks to Chihaya without stumbling over his words and being awkward. It was so refreshing.

Obviously Arata was hurting a bit. After all, it was his first heartbreak and he spent idk 2 years with a crush on Chihaya? Now that he’s in Tokyo he’s feeling… lonely. Which is ironic because when he was in Fukui he felt loneliness because of the distance. Even so, moving to Tokyo was actually good for him because he is making new connections. Now he has a super cute girlfriend named Sumire who finally can appreciate HOW HOT ARATA IS and be the little spoon he has always wanted. The end! <3

I know most people hate the idea of “pair the spares” but Arata and Sumire have the most compatible zodiac signs so it’s not MY fault it’s written in the stars??? But honestly they aren’t “paired” together in the end, just that hey life moves on and Suetsugu is saying there are plenty other opportunities for love (except Suetsugu did confirm to me personally that Arata and Sumire got married so sorry bye).

Unfortunately there is more to say about Arata’s rejection though (which I am breaking up into smaller points).

2.1 - THE TONE OF ARATA’S “REJECTION”

I think one of the biggest problems with Arata’s “rejection” (or simply the confirmation that he didn’t get another shot when he moved to Tokyo) is the tone. I don’t think Suetsugu intentionally meant to make it funny (I can’t say for sure)… However, the abruptness of it IS SO COMEDIC FUNNIEST PART OF THE CHAPTER FR.

Like when I first heard that Arata was rejected by Chihaya and Taichi telling him they were dating, I actually thought this can’t be serious and someone was making a joke. BUT IT WAS REAL. It goes from a beautifully deep line from Chihaya’s confession to Arata saying “WAIT A SECOND YOU TWO ARE DATING??” THE WHIPLASH SDKJNDKJ

Like I’m sorry IT IS SO FUNNYYYYYY the million periods on that one page was for me because I was in disbelief.

I think the problem here is due to the absolute ROCKET SPEED pace of the final chapter. For whatever reason, everything needed to happen in the final chapter with little breathing room. I don’t know if I agree with that writing choice… I think the story could have benefitted from stretching this stuff out over 2-3 chapters.

In my perfect world, there would maybe be a bit of set up and wouldn’t go from profoundly beautiful line that had me wiping my tears to comedy? Maybe have Chihaya and Taichi planning to tell Arata to show that they care about him? (Even though their expressions say that they feel very guilty and awkward about it). So then it feels less like a joke and more like two friends awkwardly trying to explain to their friend that they are dating and break his heart gently.

To be honest who even knows if Taichi and Chihaya walked up with the intention of telling him they were dating (again what is he a parent they need permission from?) Maybe Arata saw something and inquired? Maybe they were caught off guard and were going to tell him after the tournament or something. Again, it’s not clear LMAO. What was important were these two facts: that the story ended with Arata knowing he wouldn’t have a chance with Chihaya and that Chihaya and Taichi did in fact start dating.

So for those who thought Arata’s feelings of love were very serious and profound and deserve to be treated with respect I can understand hell I can even respect why the comedic tone of his “rejection” would upset you. Even I was slightly /expecting/ a private conversation… not whatever this was.

However, again I think people projected that Arata’s feelings for Chihaya were a lot deeper then what they actually were. Perhaps this abrupt reaction is meant to say that his feelings were not as deep as people thought and he is a person who is able to brush it off and be happy for his friends? I guess he has more emotional maturity in that way… But he still has to make his stinky little joke. He’s 18 years old and I forgive him.

It’s his growth!! He looks like he’s about to throw hands with Taichi but instead he sticks with his incel joke!

I do get also why people were led to believe there would be some epic conclusion or at least thoughtful rejection because Arata still confessed to Suou that he was playing alongside the girl he liked. So it’s the result of the love triangle being kept so strictly ambiguous to the bitter end (after 246 you should have known but ok) that really did make some people look like clowns at the end. I admit, it could have easily been me, in your shoes. But I acknowledged my clowndom at every turn, so if it all backfired on me I could have left with a morsel of my pride.

So essentially yeah I think the tone being comedic was /probably/ the wrong choice. (Again what happened wasn’t comedic it was the abruptness which was comedic). However the tone was fine for me though. I liked having a little laugh after all of the trauma this manga put me through. Arata king you’re the funniest little guy fr.

2.2- ARATA’S STINKY JOKE

I don’t hate that Arata made a lighthearted joke and teased Taichi one last time after getting rejected (like the demon of Karuta he is). What I hated is the content of the joke. It felt very “wink wink nudge nudge” to the reader- like haha Taichi and Chihaya are long distance now and their proximity was THE ONLY REASON THEY FELL IN LOVE! (It never was).

You see I am of the belief that Arata blamed things outside of his control (living in Fukui) rather than focusing on the things he could control. Like responding to fking emails or text messages OR GIVING CHIHAYA YOUR NUMBER AND NOT TAICHI, BITCH BOY?? (I’m fine).

Like he is like “I am so lonely because I am not next to my friends” instead of trying to make friends with the people who lived around him too? Like ARATA I really feel for you, because you just like me fr.

So yeah, Arata’s joke did not land for me. It could go, and I would be happier. Also it makes Arata look like he didn’t have his moment of growing up even though his he was managing his negative emotions very well while his heart was being stomped on (those who know, know).

Let me reiterate, I don’t hate the fact that he made a joke, just that particular joke I dislike. My joke of choice: “haha you guys only announced it now because you want the Meijin to fumble in the tournament, nice try I’ll smoke your asses”

2.3 WHAT ABOUT CHIHAYA’S GROWTH?

This is the only argument I can /somewhat/ get behind. That if Chihaya had been able to reject Arata in a more formal manner then it would show how much she has grown. Yes, because one of Chihaya’s central themes is that she doesn’t know how to express herself at least in words and has a difficulty forming connections with people.

That’s why she clings to Karuta because it makes it easier for her to connect. However, I’m not too too mad that Chihaya still continues to have difficulty expressing herself. She told Taichi she loved him with a simple “I love you” and she rejects Arata with “I am dating Taichi”. Though simple, in both cases they clearly express Chihaya’s feelings.

That brings us to the whole thing of people being like “BUT SHE WROTE ARATA POEMS!!!” Like it’s some kind of GOTCHA that Chihaya always loved Arata and the author “forgot” INSTEAD OF IT BEING PURPOSEFUL? The point was her poetry was VERY BAD and that she still even there couldn’t express how she was feeling very well. SHE COULDN’T WRITE A POEM.

So while Chihaya has grown it is not so on the nose that by the time she leaves high school she is a perfectly articulated person with an elegance to with her words… Sometimes that is a struggle you work on for your entire life. The point is she has grown from the start, instead of forgetting Arata’s confession for like what was it 6 months? She makes sure to tell him the minute she sees him in person. Eyyyoo. Also she continued to reflect on her feelings and thought about love not just being the person you want to play in Karuta but something more profound.

I also think the bond that Chihaya and Arata shared was about as clear as the bond Taichi and Chihaya shared. Chihaya never explicitly discussed how important Taichi was to her to him EVEN IN HER CONFESSION… so why should she have to tell Arata that he’s important???

Then there was this idea that Chihaya needed to “earn” back Arata’s friendship after rejecting him (by telling him of his importance). DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?? You said Taichi shouldn’t have quit the club, he should have suffered through it and not received a single thing from Chihaya but yeah Chihaya needed to EARN Arata’s friendship. BE SERIOUS LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND THEN REFLECT ON YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS!! I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU NO MORE.

Like there is just so many double standards for the way people wanted Arata to be treated vs. how they were cool with the way that evil villain Taichi was treated.

TL;DR

Arata did not need a private conversation with Chihaya where she reassured him of his worth as her friend or their platonic love. It parallels the simple way Chihaya communicated her feelings with Taichi. Arata did however need to be given time to “grow up” but it did actually happen in the bonus chapter. We see how the three of them have mended their friendship despite going down different paths- they are united though Karuta. I do think there is some merit to the idea that Arata’s rejection would benefit from a few more pages of set up so the tone wouldn’t be so comedic.

Overall there are some flaws in how Arata’s rejection was executed but nothing that breaks the story. Unless you were very invested in the seriousness of Arata’s feelings of love. You guys said you can’t find your soulmate at 18 you know that applies for Chiharata too right??

I’m crying because I’ve only really broken down two points of criticism and yet I’ve been talking shit for so long. SO unfortunately there will be a part 2 to this discussion that I will write /someday/ because I have only just scratched the surface. Just it probably won’t happen very soon because I AM TIRED GRANDPA.

But if you do want to see it like you’re gonna have to respond to this wall of text otherwise I won’t do it this took me so fking long LMAO.

SPECIAL THANKS TO @/AIMEEEFACE ON TWITTER FOR BOUNCING IDEAS AND I MAY HAVE INCORPORATED SOME OF HER THOUGHTS HERE ON MANY OCCASIONS

Thanks Charles Outty

[dragondevinity]

Genshin impact Sagau~!

Part 7&8

-

You had heard about a certain bard in Mondstadt that won the best bard in Mondstadt award three times, “I should go visit Venti… I should also get a temporary place in Mondstadt… maybe I could work at Angels Share, plus it’s getting close to the cannon start of the game, so I’ll need to wait for Traveler to go to Mondstadt anyways…” you thought out loud while Xiao was just sitting near you reading a book you had bought him, “y/n I don’t know what your rambling is about but it can’t be good…” Xiao said since he only heard words like Venti, game, cannon and the incoherent rest of the rambling, “ah! I forgot you were here sorry Xiao!” You replied, “oh! Would you like to come to Mondstadt with me?? I’ll get you some of the best almond Tofu!” You said happily, Xiao sighed, “ok y/n, when do we leave?” He asked in return, “tomorrow!” You replied, “okay then y/n” he said.

And so here you two are at the gates of Mondstadt, “let’s get you some almond Tofu, then I’ll need to go do something by myself…” you explained to Xiao, and so you took him to Good Hunter, and you bought three plates of almond Tofu for Xiao and sat him down with the food at the table.

And so you were off to the hands of the barbatos statue to see if you could spot Venti, it didn’t take long to spot him in the centre of town playing his Lyre, and so you hopped off the statues hands and went into the crowd to listen, you pulled out the pouch of mora you have had since day one, and you quickly go to good hunter again and grab some apples, you paid and went back to the crowd, it took five minutes before he had wrapped up the performance, people started leaving and he hadn’t spotted you yet, so you snuck up behind him and trapped him in a hug which surprised him greatly, he turned his head around quickly to assess the situation, his eyes widened and quickly turned around and hugged you back, “oh my Celestial! Y/n!!! When I got back to Mondstadt I looked for you and assumed you were gone, and I even checked the library for information on what happened to you!! But there was nothing!!” Venti exclaimed now crying into your shoulder, “Venti I only just heard about you being back a week ago, I had to make sure I had left nothing to do whatsoever, also I’m sorry I scared you so much, I missed you terribly in the last 500 years…” you said starting to sob now as well, you two stayed like that for a while, then you took out a apple, you handed him the apple quickly, “Venti I need to go get someone really quickly, let’s meet at Vanessa’s tree okay?” You said softly, he nodded and disappeared quickly, you turned and ran to Good hunter, only to see Xiao with 10 empty plates instead of the original three you bought him, “Xiao I’m back, I want you to meet someone, come on!” You said giddily before grabbing him by the shoulders and teleporting the two of you to Vanessa’s tree where Venti was waiting, as soon as you got there you were hugged by Venti again, the look on Xiaos face made him look like a kicked puppy, “Venti this is Xiao! Xiao this is Venti!” You said which made them both snap out of it, “nice to meet you Xiao!” Venti said, Xiao nodded softly in response, ‘maybe I could get them together!!!’ You thought suddenly, ‘I’ll wait until they both know each other better though before I try to get them together!’ You thought right after, it was slowly becoming dark and you were all talking, “oh I should probably mention something!” You said, “I’ve technically only known Xiao 60ish years less than you Venti!” You state casually, both Xiaos and Venti’s eyes widened at that, “oh shit! Neither of y’all knew about the other yet…” you said nervously, “Adeptus Xiao meet Barbatos~!” You say even more nervously, “WHAT!?!!?!!?!??!” They both yelled at the same time, and so you explained to them how the other had met you and some other stuff…

-

It took you over 500 years to find out you can teleport to fucking taverns! Like why! Anyways…

You were working a shift at angels share with Charles while talking to Diluc, you had made Diluc give you the job after you explained that you needed a job and were new to Mondstadt. Then it happened Paimon, Traveler and Venti burst through the door and got a table upstairs away from the guards that came in soon, you watched from behind the bar until they left…

You left the counter to go clean up a table, and the trio came down shortly after, you just watched for a bit nearly giggling, ‘fuck it I’m joining the conversation now’ you thought, “ok this is a nice talk you four are having right now, I want in” you said casually while slinging a arm around Venti’s shoulder causing him to squeak in surprise, “y-y/n~~! Don’t scare me, you know the wind likes hiding your presence~!” Venti whines, “y/n? You know this bard?” Diluc asked raising an eyebrow, “this is one of the friends I’ve told you about Diluc!” You state casually, “eh!!! Why does this bard know such a pretty lady!” Paimon exclaimed, this caused you to finally realise which one of the twins was the traveler, “ah nice to meet you Aether~!” You say happily not noticing that you messed up, “h-how did you know my name miss? The only person I’ve told that to is Paimon!” Aether exclaimed pulling out a sword, the other three pause then look at you expectingly, “oh fuck I’m so sorry, I should explain y/n to you Traveler, since I’ve met her she’s always done things like this, it’s something she hasn’t ever been able to stop when it happens…” Venti explains, ‘I’m so thankful this isn’t the first time I’ve done this shit!’, “so about storm terror! I assume you guys plan to go and steal the holy lyre back from the people who stole it? Well I’m happy to help! I’ll even bring Venti’s future boyfriend~!!” You say cheerily, Venti’s face flushed in response and the others realised you were teasing him, “so now that that’s nearly settled I’ll meet you all at the location tomorrow night and we can go over the terms more safely, till we meet again! Now sho sho~!” You say before shoing the three besides Diluc out, you were about to go back to serving before Diluc pulled you aside to talk, “y/n I’m happy you want to help in this whole debacle but I don’t think it’s safe for you, you aren’t an adventurer, it’s not safe…” he said looking into your eyes, at this you giggled, “come with me to the guild tomorrow Diluc, I’ll need to show you something~!” You said smiling, Diluc felt shivers go down his back, it made him feel like he had made a grave mistake by saying anything…

Time skip!

You were all at the place where the battle against storm terror was about to take place, you were in one of your normal outfits which confused the rest, “oh yeah would anyone want a protection spell cast on them?” You asked quickly, everyone nodded quietly, you cast the spell with no effort which shocked them momentarily, “it’ll ware off by tomorrow morning” you say casually, then it started, you wanted to help but you waited to see if your help was truly needed, everything went off without a hitch thankfully, and you all went to angels share to celebrate with fruit juice and dandelion wine~! (Cough *Venti because it was all on you* Cough).

You all were so happy that this debacle was finally resolved… if only shit wouldn’t happen in Liyue soon… ‘I’m going to fucking stomp Zhongli if he doesn’t say something to me or Xiao before fucking going through with faking his archon-selves death!!!’ You think to yourself as Venti and Xiao cuddle on the couch next to your chair.

-

There’s part 7&8~!!!

[fandomsoda]

the reason that anons keep coming is because you keep hurting people

???

here’s the thing, it’s not that I don’t believe you, I do, it’s just that I don’t know what you’re talking about or referring to, I never know what any of you are talking about.

y’all keep accusing me of hurting people when I don’t know who you’re referring to, you don’t tell me who’s been hurt or how and when you do those people refuse to communicate with me so I can’t help or fix it or do anything… I try so hard to make things right but you never give me the resources. You never give me the means. I’m left in the dark, I don’t know how to help, I don’t know what to do.

and when I’m hurt and I respond to that hurt, you side with the person that hurts me

You are not heroes, I’m not your villain, no one is. I’m not malicious, I’m not a monster, I’m just confused. The only reason I keep hurting is because I don’t know that I’m doing it, and I want to stop it, but you refuse to lift the blindfold from my eyes. I can’t stop because I don’t see what I’m doing wrong.

You accuse me of being cruel in ways that don’t make sense, say things too vague for me to use. Accuse me of not seeing things from others’ perspectives, when that’s all I try to do, I consider and I use what I know and I try. I take into account every factor, doing my best. I’m so confused because I try to see and understand everyone else but it feels like no one else considers me or how I feel. You jump to demonizing me before I even know what’s going on.

None of this is me trying to justify my actions, I’m not defending myself, this isn’t me debunking what you say, it’s a cry for help. Please, help me understand. Help me know. Instead of tearing into me please help me be better. Change your methods, I beg.

Please stop hiding behind your anonymous masks and perpetuating this cycle, show me who you are, show me who is trying to help me. I can’t get better or learn if I’m just being shouted at by faceless voices. Because I don’t want to sit here apparently having done something wrong and not knowing what to do about it. I want to help, I want to learn, I want to change, but I can’t, not like this.

Please… because I’m not angry, I’m afraid. I’m so, so afraid. Afraid of myself, of what I’m capable of, of what I don’t know about myself. I want nothing more than to absolve everyone of all the pain I’ve unwittingly caused. I want to hug every single person I’ve hurt and pour warmth into them, I want to help, I want to heal, I want to change. I want to make you happy, I want to make you smile, I want to be a force for good, I want to be a bringer of light.

But the way you all engage with me is cruel, and dehumanizing, and I would never speak to anyone in the ways you do me. So damnit, if you want to help me, talk to me directly. Treat me as human. Because anonymous asks mean that I either have to ignore you or respond publicly and, contrary to popular belief, not every part of someone’s life should be in the public eye. Everyone else doesn’t need to see me work through this all the time, people who don’t know me don’t need to watch me struggle, this journey is a personal one and I shouldn’t have to constantly post about it to make any progress. As much as I want to be better for people, this also isn’t everyone’s business and my attempts at self-improvement shouldn’t be made into a spectacle. And when I do these things publicly, it makes everything I say feel performative and it makes me feel like my words are meaningless when I mean them with all my heart and it’s frustrating. How will any of you know I’m genuine if you keep putting me on the spot and under pressure?

I’m sorry that you’re scared of me. But I want to help, I want to change that. I will be gentle and calm as I can be, I will do whatever to make you comfortable, just please actually talk to me. I understand being scared to confront someone, I get scared about that whenever I have to… but dang it, you know what I do? I do it scared. I do it anxious, and I make it known that I am anxious. Because if it’s important, it’s important. And even if I’m scared to talk to someone, having bravery will usually be for the best.

I’m sorry, I’m just… a mess. And I feel hollow at this point. I keep asking to be helped but no one does and I wonder if you guys actually want me to stay bad… it feels like you don’t actually care about me changing, you just want to make me look bad and humiliate me, please…

[liliansun]

no one particularly cares but i need this moment to vent bc i’m on the verge of tears and i wanna smash a pumpkin against my wall. and like,, if for some reason you read this lmk if i’m being unreasonable bc i feel like i am but then again i’m not.

so my bf is going into the military and he’s gonna be leaving in december right? so he just left meps today and got to his house and said his family pushed his birthday dinner from tonight (it’s his birthday today) to tomorrow night. i was like okay, he was gonna come over in the morning and we hang out w my baby and then he was gonna skedaddle off to the bday dinner with his family.

with this information i was gonna make him a cake and surprise him bc i didn’t get to see him today. so then he tells me his dad pushed it off to wherever so he was gonna go out w his guy friends to hang out and plan for the bday dinner to be later this weekend and i’m like okay and he tells me he’s gonna come by later in the day tomorrow instead of the morning bc he’s out w the boys. i’m like okay, have fun and be safe and i update him and yada yada. so then he tells me he’s going to texas which is like a few states over (4+ hour drive in the night) and i’m in the middle of a cod mobile game and i’m thinking to myself. wtf? bc in my head that contradicted the whole plans he kept changing for tomorrow (context: i was off today and tomorrow) and then he’s like nvm my friends voted against it and idk if you think like me but i thought that was dumb as hell.

so then i’m in a sour mood, i lost my br match bc i was so just out of it bc i’m like wtf? sure go do whatever you wanna do w your friends,, but if we made plans to hang out how tf do you expect me to feel when you plan to go state hopping instead. so we get into this discussion which i don’t want to call an argument and he’s like “i’m sorry but at the same time i’m not” and i’m like. elaborate. bc that shit didn’t make sense to me. “he’s like i’m sorry i’m being difficult but i’m not sorry bc i assumed you had no plans for tomorrow. well sir,, i was trying to SURPRISE you and idk if me asking a million times what time you wanted to come over didn’t give a hint?? guess not?? but okay and i’m trying to end the conversation bc i’m annoyed and he’s annoying me even more by wanting to talk it all out right here rn and i’m the type of person who needs time to think over everything,, collect my thoughts and readdress it once i’m clear headed and can see where i was wrong and he’s not

and then we get to the point of conversation where he’s like well what do you have planned for tomorrow and i’m like nothing now, you wanna go out w your friends so go out w them and he’s like we’re not going and im like okay, so go do something else w them i’m just not in the mood and he’s like no i wanna see you and i’m thinking to myself that i don’t particularly wanna see him but ik it’s bc i’m in a bad mood and maybe i’ll feel better in the morning maybe i won’t but rn i’m like stay the hell away from me before i start crying. and he’s like well the latest i’ll be by is 3 and i’m like okay. nice. and he’s like my recruiter might need me around 4 ish and i’m like. so you mean to tell me you wanna drive 40 minutes to my house to turn around and drive another 30 minutes and come back for another 30 minutes?? this is coming from the man that literally told me earlier today “since i’m quitting my job bc i’m going into the military, i don’t wanna be reckless w my spending till then”

so i mention that bc that’s a waste of gas and idk where y’all live but that shit ain’t cheep here and he tells me to let him worry about that and i’m like okay bc atp i’m done having the conversation and he’s trying to be lovey dovey and i’m about to throw my phone into the gulf and cry to tswift songs bc i just don’t know what to do.

part of me is like let him come bc he’s gonna be gone soon and you don’t know how long or where he’s gonna be at for boot camp and part of me is like he didn’t take in consideration the fact that he made plans with me and threw them out the fucking window on the highway while he was keke giggling at the thought of driving idek how many hours away and sleeping with his friends in his friends’ car.

so yeah. if you’ve made it this far on my lil ted talk, i love you. i think i’m genuinely gonna go cry and hold my baby and just try to sleep bc my head hurts and my heart hurts and i feel like i’m being irrational but at the same time i feel like i have a right to feel this way.