#I wanted to make y’all cry but instead I made myself cry

[caesurah-tblr]

Take this. I cried writing it.

No TWs for this one.

They’re running.

It hurts, running this much. Every step he takes feels like a knife digging into his guts. Charlie seems even worse off- he’s stumbling behind, making these horrible, pained sounds.

They should be safe now. God, he hopes they’re safe. He just wants this to be over.

Ranboo skids to a stop and turns to Charlie, catching his struggling friend in his arms.

“You’re okay.” The words feel like a lie. The amount of blood- he’s seen so much blood today- and the paling of Charlie’s skin tells Ranboo all he needs to know.

“I’m okay.” Charlie repeats, nodding. He looks exhausted. ���Where are we?”

Ranboo shrugs. “My best guess? Outside. At least we’re out of the facility.”

“Out-outside?” Charlie looks puzzled. “This is outside?”

Those words hurt. Ranboo is once again reminded how horrible Showfall had treated his friend- they had ripped away his memories and had given him a new life, only to tell him in the end it was all a lie.

“I- I don’t.” Charlie’s knees buckle, and Ranboo helps him sit down in the dirt. They’re in a small alcove of trees- from the outside, this mall has been abandoned for a long time, and nature has staked its claim on the land. The sound of birds and the gentle brush of the wind against the leaves make the moment almost seem serene.

“You’ve never been outside?” He grips his friend’s arms. They’re slick with blood.

“I can’t- I can’t remember. But it’s- it’s really nice out here, man.” Charlie pulls away from him and brings his hands to the ground to grip the dirt. “We’re free? They can’t hurt us here?”

“I think so.” Ranboo watches Charlie pull up fistfuls of dirt and rub them between his palms as if fascinated by the texture. “They didn’t even follow us past the doors. We’re safe.”

“That’s great. And you’re okay? Got your memories back?” Ranboo nods and Charlie closes his eyes with a sigh, a relieved smile on his lips.

“Thank fucking god.” He’s collapsing, then, falling into Ranboo’s arms. He catches Charlie, not caring about the blood smearing along his clothes as he grips the body of the only friend he has left.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Charlie mutters in his ear. “Everything is okay now. We’re safe. Ranboo?”

“Yeah Charlie?”

“I think I’m gonna take a nap, okay? I’ve never been outside before. It feels so nice.”

Ranboo shakes his head. “You gotta get up. You can nap later, okay? I know you can’t remember anything, but now you can make your own memories. They don’t control you anymore.”

“This is my memory, Ranboo.” Charlie squeezes him. “I finally get to feel what it’s like to be outside, and I finally get to see you go home. Like it was always meant to be.”

“Charlie-“

“Help me lay down? I wanna feel the grass.”

Ranboo gently lays his friend in the grass, removing his own jacket to tuck under Charlie’s head for comfort.

Charlie pats the ground beside him and Ranboo lays down too. It’s such a nice day- the sun is shining through the trees, casting beautiful rays of light. He wonders what it would be like to see it for the first time.

Charlie looks absolutely mesmerized by the sight and it brings Ranboo to tears. It’s not fair that Charlie won’t get the chance to experience happy things.

“You think this is cool? You should see a sunset.”

“A sunset?” There are tears running down Charlie’s face, but the wide grin tells him they’re happy tears. Just this and he’s ecstatic.

Ranboo sniffles. “Uh, yeah. It’s what happens when the sun goes down. The sky gets filled with all these pinks and yellows and reds. It’s beautiful.”

Ranboo tells him about everything. About sunrises, about the ocean- happy things. All the while, Charlie listens as he digs his hands into the soil, like his committing the feeling to memory.

“It all sounds so nice.” Charlie turns to him. “I’m glad you’ll get to see those things again.”

Fuck. “You should get to see all those things too. It’s not fair.” A sob slips past his lips. “You’ve worked so hard to survive. You didn’t even get your memories back!”

Charlie shrugs, eyes closing as he turns back towards the sky. “My memories, if I ever had any, don’t exist anymore. But this memory? It’s mine. And if it’s the only memory I’ll ever have, then that’s enough for me.”

Ranboo can’t help but let out another sob. If given another chance, he’d take the blow that had fatally injured Charlie. It had been meant for him, after all.

“Tell me about your friends?” Charlie asks. And Ranboo does.

He watches the color slowly fade from Charlie’s eyes as he tells him about his friends and family. He feels so helpless, but Charlie looks so happy to be here in the grass and dirt with the sun shining through the trees, so he keeps going and doesn’t stop until the body beside him goes still.

“Charlie?” Ranboo sits up and looks down at his friend, tears starting anew at the sight.

Charlie’s eyes look towards the sky and he wears a soft smile on his lips- it’s almost peaceful, in a weird way. Charlie has been fighting for even longer than Ranboo has, and he has finally gotten what he had always so desperately wanted.

A memory to call his own. One Showfall can never mess with.

“Goodbye, friend.”

[mattsturnioloz]

Then I lost you: Pt 3.

Part 4.

Summary: Matt's career as a youtuber takes a toll on his 4 year relationship with his girlfriend, putting it on hold. Will it ever be the same again?

Pairings: Y/n x Matt Sturniolo

Warnings: angst, crying, cursing, anxiety, mentions of depression, unsolved angst, mentions of slighty physical argument.

A/N: (i’m so exhausted but y’all have been hyping me up so it’s giving me motivation to keep writing, get some tissues readyyyy👅)

The uber driver pulls up to the house and I say my thank you’s before getting out the backseat and closing the door. I go up to the front door and reach for my purs- my purse. FUCK! MY PURSE. I sigh. I must’ve left it at top golf. I don’t want to text Matt.. Not after our argument. But i’m stuck outside. Fuck it, i’ll text Nick. I open my phone and I open nicks contact.

Messages

Y/n: Hey Nick, I left my purse with my keys over there, do you think you can grab it for me please?

Nick: Yea sure.

I was just about to type out a message but nick sent another text.

Nick: oh wait, Matt already grabbed it.

oh.

Y/n: oh okay thanks.

Nick: Are you guys okay? Are YOU okay?

Y/n: I’m pissed at him, he’s been so distant and i’ve just been trying to talk to him more and spend time with him, then he just snapped at me.. in front of everyone too.

Nick: Yea that wasn’t right, I told him to go apologize and he genuinely looked guilty but then he came back all pissy and told me and chris that you guys just argued more.

Y/n: Yea, and i’ll admit that I shouldn’t have shoved him but I was just so mad and hurt that I acted on anger.

Nick: Understandable, I need to shove him all the time LMAO😭

Y/n: LMAOO😭 Trust me I KNOW. When are you guys coming home? i’m stuck outside until you guys get here.

Nick: We’re already on our way so about 20 minutes now.

20 minutes?? Im freezing.

Y/n: oh okay, see you soon. Love you :)

Nick: Love you too, see you soon :)

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆———-

I sit on the ground slumped against the door and wait for Matt, Nick and Chris to get here. The air so cold that my skin gets itchy and stings when I scratch at it and my face feels hot from all the crying I did. I see them pull up and my heart stops. I’m scared to see Matt. I don’t want to see Matt.

I feel my heart start to beat out of my chest. The beating affecting my vision, pumping with the beat. My anxiety making my hearing heighten. Making me focus on all the things I hear.

The sound of them shutting the doors of the car. The sound of the night wind gusting past my body. The sound of the car beeping when matt locks it. The sound of their feet on the wet cold rubble, getting closer and closer. The sound of the raindrops from the roof, falling on a random empty tin barrel across the street.

Im caught out of my daze when they reach me and I wave hi to Nick and Chris who both flash me a smile. I fidget with my rings nervously as Matt unlocks the front door, not sparing me a glance ever since they got here.

They start to walk inside after Matt opens the door, and I let go of a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I take one last breath of the fresh air outside before I follow them in, immediately being hit with the smell of the ravioli I made before we left.

I walk to Matt and I’s shared bedroom closing the door behind me. I grab some pj’s and a towel to take a shower since I smell like wet dog from being outside in the cold for so long.

I open the door and when I do Matt is there and I feel my chest tighten. We just stare at eachother and I secretly wish for him to say something. anything. Instead he brushes past me walking into the room. My heart aches and I feel tears well up in my eyes again, a few falling as I walk to the bathroom, shutting the door.

I take a deep breath and wipe my tears trying to keep my composure. I turn on the shower before undressing myself and I step in, feeling the warm soothing water wander my body.

After I showered, I get out and dry my body, head to toe before wrapping my hair in a towel. I change into shorts and a t-shirt before brushing my teeth and grabbing my dirty clothes from the floor then I open the bathroom door, leaving and tossing the dirty clothes into the wash.

I walk into Matt and I’s bedroom and I don’t look at him but from the corner of my eye and I can see him sitting on his side of the bed, slumped against the headboard, scrolling through his phone. I take the towel off my head and rest it on Matt’s gaming chair to dry before making my way to my side of the bed.

I get under the covers, my back facing Matt as I get comfortable. There’s an awkward silence. Nothing feels the same anymore. I feel depressed and anxious and I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I close my eyes hoping to get some sleep after the shitty day I had.

———- ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆———-

Days turn into weeks and Matt and I haven’t even talked since the day we argued. The bed feels emptier and emptier as the days pass even though he’s still there. I’ve had enough and this time before bed I decide go speak to him.

“M-Matt..” I ask with a shaky voice. I get no reply. “Matt.” I say louder. “What Y/n.” He says in a rude tone. “Can we talk? please?” I plead. He lets out a long sigh and he sits up to look at me for the first time in weeks, So I do the same.

I look into his icy blue eyes. God, how i’ve missed them… except they were sharper, colder. “Listen, I just want to say that i’m sorry, and miss you so much, I- ”

“Stop.” He says, cutting me off. “I don’t want to hear you say sorry. I just- i’m not happy anymore and I can tell you feel the same way.” He says looking right into my eyes. His gaze sharp.

My hearts drops and feels like it’s sinking into the pit of my stomach. I want to cry, I want to cry so bad but I try to hold my tears back. Deep down, I know what he’s saying is true. We’re not happy anymore.

“Look.. Of course I love you y/n, I love you so much you don’t even understand.” He says. cupping my face, his thumbs gliding across my cheeks, and I break into silent sobs, already knowing where this is going. “But it’s hard.. hard being in a relationship when I also have the career that I have.” He continues.

“N-no! w-we can make this work just-jus- PLEASE-” I practically yell, sobbing as I grab his hands from my face, kissing them before gripping them in my hands in front of my chest. I know I look pathetic begging him to stay with me, but I can’t help it, I can’t lose him. I love him too much. He pulls his hands away.

“N-no w-what are you do-“ I say, having a cold feeling running down my spine and all throughout my body. “JUST STOP! STOP Y/N!” he interrupts, yelling at me. “Can’t you see?! this isn’t working!! it’s not working anymore baby..” His voice cracks.

I look down, my sobs stopping. I feel numb and empty. Like everything good I had in my life came crashing down. Like I have no future. Not if he’s not in it.

1,277 words.

A/N: (I am tired yall omggg. Im so sorry to do yall like this but I had no choices😖 I’ll most likely write part 4 tomorrow or wednesday. Depends on how i’m feeling :) thank yall for the support i appreciate it!!)

Taglist: @watercolorskyy @imwetforyourmom @starzinasblog @urfavstromboli @sturniqloo @star-yawnznn @h3arts4harry

[worldlxvlys]

can you PLEASE make a fic based off the last texts from texts w dealer!chris part 7 i’ll kiss you PLEASE.

seeing stars

dwb! chris x reader

warnings: nsfw (it’s smut y’all, don’t read if that bothers you), oral (female receiving), overstimulation

dwb! chris masterlist

i’m waiting for my kiss 😊

enjoy <333

•••• ••••••••• ••••

chris pulled me onto his lap in a sweet, passionate kiss.

his hands gripped my waist, helping me grind on his dick over his pants.

my hands roam his body, feeling his abs, chest, arms, anywhere they can get access to. when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, i run my hand through his hair and tug.

“shit ma” he lightly moans. my panties are drenched.

“chris i need you so fucking badly” i say into the kiss.

“yeah? what do you need ma?”

“want your tongue on my pussy”

with that, he quickly took off both of our clothes.

“come sit on my face baby” he says as he lays back.

i quickly oblige, moving towards his face and positioning my legs on either side of his face.

i hover over him slightly and hold onto the headboard.

“don’t be shy now baby, want you to suffocate me” his warm breath on my pussy made me even wetter.

without wasting a moment more, i put my weight on him fully and began rocking back and forth.

“holy fuck chris, you feel so fucking good”

he moaned at that, the vibration against me making my pleasure multiply.

rocking myself harder, his nose started to hit my clit perfectly.

“fuck chris i’m gonna cum” i kept my quick pace, wanting so badly to finish on his face.

“mmmmm” he moaned into me, causing me to finish on his face.

feeling satisfied, i started to lift myself off of his face.

“thought you wanted to see stars baby” he said in a deep, raspy voice.

before i could answer, he suddenly wrapped his hands around my thighs, pulling me down onto his face.

“f-fuck chris”

his tongue moved feverishly, licking up and down quickly.

“chris! chris, too sensitive. i can’t take more”

he suddenly flipped us over so he was on top of me, and moved his head down towards my core.

“you can and you will baby. you know your safeword?” he asked.

i nodded my head quickly, just wanting to feel his tongue on me again.

“need words baby” he said as he started leaving kisses down my stomach, closer and closer to where i needed him.

“yes yes chris! please just keep going”

without another word he shoved his tongue inside of me, making my hips jolt.

he placed his hands on my waist, holding me down while he continued his assault on my pussy.

“oh my gosh chris you’re so fucking good, mmmmm” i moaned out loudly.

his grip on my waist was bruising, almost as though he thought i was going to disappear.

he kept going and going until i tumbled over the edge.

but instead of stopping, he bent my legs toward my chest allowing himself better access.

“chris chris i can’t take another, please” i cried out, hips thrashing.

he lifted his head for a second, his face glistening in my juices. “still haven’t heard the safeword baby” and with that he dove back in, shaking his head side to side to make sure no area of my pussy was left untouched.

he moved his tongue up my folds, starting to focus on my clit.

the only sound i could even let out was his name in broken moans.

once he started to suck and moan on my clit, i was a goner.

“fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkkk” i was screaming at the top of my lungs at this point.

“gonna cum baby? let it out. want my face to be fucking drenched” he said, as though his face wasn’t already covered in my cum.

the words he spoke into my pussy sent me over the edge, releasing on his face with one final cry of his name.

“how was that for seeing stars?” he asked into my pussy, making me shiver.

•••• •••••••••••• ••••

hope you likeeee :)

masterlist

taglist: @lovingsturniolo @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @chrissturnioloswifey @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @chrisdevora @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn

[gingerjunhan]

boyfriend headcannons - han hyeongjun

☆彡 EEEEEEKK it’s Jun Han time! :D 🩷

word count: 690 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: YouTube like is safe!!, all caps, (Hyeongjun’s) insecurities mentioned, eating mentioned, I love him, not proofread, lmk if I missed something

← previous member | next member →

obviously, I have a lot to say

here we go

first things first, Hyeongjun shows you how he loves you instead of telling you

there was some radio interview they did one time where the other members said he doesn’t say “I love you much”

so he makes sure to physically show his appreciation for you

what’s that? you were stressed from your workload? Hyeongjun made you dinner and cleaned up your place while you were out

you’re feeling nervous about a big job interview? he got you flowers to wish you good luck

stuff like that

I also feel like someone somewhere said that Hyeongjun is really good with dates?

idk maybe I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that

but he never never forgets anything!

birthdays, anniversaries, important events- he’s there

I also think a lot about the one Knock Down Debate that they did where Hyeongjun yelled at the others because they never pick up their phones when he calls them

so hey, at least he’s good at communication in that aspect

I don’t think Hyeongjun is one for pet names

I literally cannot picture him calling someone a pet name, but I could easily be wrong

if he did I feel like they would be simple

“honey”

“love”

“sweetie”

short and sweet stuff

he gets flustered easily if you call him something though!

I feel like it would be really easy to fluster him

STOOOPP imagine Hyeongjun meeting your pets

forget about your family- let this man meet your cat

okay but fr this man is sweating buckets meeting your family

he’s afraid that they would think he’s too quiet or too boring :(

but once they get to know him and once he warms up to them that’s obviously not true!

I mean, come on, look at the way that man can shred on the guitar. there is not a boring bone in his body

he’s a kiss on the cheek typa guy

no big fancy gestures

just something cute, simple, and sweet

he actually doesn’t strike me as a big gesture guy at all?

no wait let me explain

let me cook

not big on PDA, not the best with words, and he wouldn’t feel like his acts of kindness are very big

like, he let you hold on to kkito while he was away for a few days so you wouldn’t miss him- why are you crying?

ugh I wanna squeeze him :(

he will come to you with any sort of problem no matter how big or how small

he trusts you completely

he would literally be your friend first and your boyfriend second

Hyeongjun strikes me as the type to not need affection much, but when he does he’s a little nervous to ask

“Jun, what’s wrong?”

“I need a hug.” :(

you almost don’t hear him but y’all are so close that you can figure it out

you can basically read his mind

I feel like a relationship with Hyeongjun would go slow, and that’s okay!

why mess with perfection 😉

no need to rush first kisses or first I love yous

you’re just having fun together!

HE MAKES A PLAYLIST OF SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF YOU 😭😭😭😭

“This song played in the restaurant during our first date.”

“This song was stuck in my head right before you kissed me for the first time.”

“This song was-“ STOP IT I can’t do this anymore

ALWAYS makes sure you’re taking care of yourself

making sure you eat meals and get enough rest

he’s so open minded!

I feel like he has strong opinions, but he’s chill with most things?

those two things literally cancel out but whatever

he buys clothes that he also thinks you would like in case you want to steal them 😼

pays very close attention to detail!

no new haircut or nail color goes unnoticed!

he draws little pictures of you in his sketchbook all the time :(

loving Hyeongjun is gentle, calm, and fun- like sitting in the grass on a sunny day

no pressure, no rush, just you two having fun being together 🩷

god I love him so much

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You… (Part 6.5)

YouTube! Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️: cursing, crying, confusion, fatigue, Lee Know coming in clutch, Chan admits to being jealous of reader (let me know if I missed anything)

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

Y/N never imagined that she would be summoned to the conference room at her workplace, especially by unfamiliar individuals not from the United States. Nevertheless, they were seated on one side of the table, while Y/N found herself on the other, facing a stack of papers with the word "CONTRACT" emblazoned across the top.

“So, what do you say? Would you like to work with us?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV (One week ago)

I felt like I was glued to my computer screen for an eternity. Realizing I was making no progress, I pushed myself away from the desk and flopped onto my bed. I had never felt this exhausted before. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was falling behind. Perhaps it's time to hit the reset button and start from scratch.

Flashback (Two weeks prior)

Pulling up my camera, I press record and wait three to five seconds before starting. “Y’all.” I huff, still trying to catch my breath. “When I made this address, I expected to get some packages here or there. The post office called and told me I must pick up my packages because they overflowed. I thought….You know what, let me show you instead.” I pick up a vast draw bag of packages inside. “I have three of these, and that’s not including them.” I grab a basket of letters or other small packages. “I had to take my grandfather’s truck because my car was too small to fit everything. I honestly thought that I wasn’t going to get this much stuff. I’m afraid I won’t be able to get through all of these before they call me again, saying I have more waiting. I told y’all I don’t need anything; I already have too much.” I start looking around my room. “Where the hell am I going to put all this? I have no room, ugh.” I turned back to the camera. “I love y’all to death, but this is way too much.”

Looking around, I let out a big sigh. “I’m grateful, honestly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad or upset. I’m more surprised than anything. I don’t want y’all to waste your money on me. I'd rather you keep that for bills, food, clothes, etc. Though at the end of the day, I can’t stop you from sending anything.” I sit down in my chair, worn out since those bags were heavy. “I know I promised you that I would record everything I open, but then again, I didn’t expect to get this much fan mail. I’ll do my best to record what I can. Hopefully. What I can’t, I’ll try to thank you in letters.” I laugh a little to myself. “I feel like I’m digging myself a hole, making all these promises and talking about sending letters. I don’t want to let anybody down. I want all of you to know that I appreciate everything you do, and I don’t want any of you to feel left out if I don’t show you opening up your package or letter.”

I get up and grab one of the big bags. “I’ve got to record an upcoming video, but as soon as possible, I will record myself opening up some of these packages. I could do a live stream of me opening some of them, too. I’ll have to see how I’m feeling that day. Either way, I love y’all and hope you have a great day. Bye!” I turn the camera off and instantly drop my shoulders and head. ‘Why do I do this to myself? I knew I was in over my head when I did this.’ I look down at all the stuff people sent. “Well, I better get started on the album review before I worry too much about these.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV (Before Y/N’s video above)

The boys had been worrying/stressing over what to send to Y/N. Chan had convinced the rest of the boys to send a gift and a letter from each of them so that she would know who it was from. Some guys knew exactly what they wanted to send, others couldn’t decide. Each one agreed that they would all send their stuff at one time, so hopefully, she would get them all around the same time. Lee Know walked into Felix’s room, seeing the Sunshine himself writing a letter. He knocks on the door to announce his presence.

Felix turns to his older Hyung. “Hey.” Lee Know grins, and Felix responds. “Hey.” His Hyung sits by him. “How’s it going?” Felix drops his head on his gaming desk. “Terrible. I can’t think of anything to write.” Lee Know observes him before replying. “You don’t have to think about it so much. Just write what comes to your head.” Felix scuffs. “Easy for you to say. You don’t overthink everything like I do.” Felix runs his fingers through his hair. “Normally, I could already know what I’d want to tell someone. Right now, I’m coming up blank.” Felix, frustrated with himself, pulls on his hair.

“Do you want to see what I wrote?” Felix turns to his Hyung. “I don’t want to copy what you wrote, Lee Know Hyung.” Lee Know smirks. “I know. I wrote two of them, in case you couldn’t think of anything. They’re not the same letter. Here, take it.” He pulls it from his back pocket. “You can always rewrite it in your handwriting if you want.” He gets up to leave before turning around. “We’re sending them out tomorrow, so have it ready by tonight.” Felix nods his head, smiling. “Thank you, Hyung.” Lee Know returns the smile. “You’re welcome.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Y/N had recorded and edited both versions of the review for the Oddinary mini-album, she sent one to JYP and saved the other for the release date. She decided she’d take a small break before she would start recording herself on opening fan mail. She had to wait a couple of days before she got the chance to re-record herself.

“Hello, Lovelies, and welcome back to the channel! So, we will start opening some of these packages today since I have so many. I will warn you that I’m bad with names, so if I don’t pronounce your name correctly, don’t get mad at me.” I laugh lightly. “These will probably be different videos since I know I won’t be able to open all of them in just one video. Okay, let’s get into it, shall we?”

Little did Y/N know eight boys were waiting for her videos to come out. They wanted to see her reaction to the gifts they gave her. When the day finally came, they gathered around a TV to watch her. “What in the world is this?” She pulls out a package and sees there’s no name on it. It’s also from a PO Box address but from Seoul, South Korea. She looks at the camera with a questionable expression on her face. Pulling out her scissors, she cuts the package open. The first thing she grabs is a letter with her name on it. She opens it, and what she does next makes all the boys happy. Her jaw drops, “There’s no fucking way. This cannot be real.” She looks at the camera, back to the letter, then back to the camera again. She swallows slowly before speaking.

Dear Y/N,

I’ve followed your videos since you reacted to our MV God’s Menu. The guys and I have been quite your fans. When we saw that you created a PO Box, we knew we wanted to give you something from each of us. We hope you enjoy everything you get, and thank you for always supporting us through our journey.

Signed,

Lee Felix

She tears up a little bit and wipes her eyes immediately with her hands. “So that means you’ve seen me make a fool of myself this entire time. Damn. Well, at least you know this is the real me. What you see is what you get. Now you just made a lot of Stays very jealous.” She laughs and points at the camera. “Y’all don’t come after me now.” She puts the letter to the side and opens the package more to see what’s inside. She pulls back and starts laughing hard. “Felix, have I ever told you how much I love you? Because I do. Hold on, everyone, I’m about to show you what he got me.” She pulls out a container of brownies he made along with the recipe on top. “I knew the package looked weird, but I now understand why. He said he had to use vegetable oil to preserve them while being shipped.” She looks at the camera and smiles. “Thank you, Felix. I will enjoy these.” She puts them off to the side and grabs something else from the package; she turns it over to see a little bracelet with his skzoo. “Ooh, I love that. That’s very precious.”

She turns to look at her other bags. “So I’m not constantly thinking about the other guys’ packages. I will see if I have them all to open them one after the other. I’m quite nervous now. Especially since I know they’ll be watching this video.” The boys can’t help but smile at her. She searches through the bags and manages to find all of them. “This one looks promising.” She had grabbed Hyunjin’s and carefully opened it. What was inside made her gasp. It was a painting of flowers in a glass vase. The painting itself was mute but had pops of colors on the flowers. “That is so beautiful, Hyunjin; I love it. Did I ever tell you that my grandmother is an artist herself?” Hyunjin’s eyes widen upon hearing that statement, and the boys do, too. She steps out of view and calls for her grandmother.

Her grandmother comes into view. “One of my fans painted this for me.” Her grandmother compliments the painting, and Hyunjin lets out a breath he doesn’t know he is holding. He also gave her some facial masks since he knew she enjoyed those more than makeup. Each member gave her a letter with similar words to Felix’s, hoping they would meet her one day. They went for more sentimental value ideas since they knew she didn’t like costly items. Seungmin had given her a book he enjoyed reading and even got her a box of tea he wanted. I.N. gave her their Oddinary album book and an unreleased box of photo cards. Changbin had given her a couple of their shirts from the Oddinary merch collection. Han had gifted her a new light stick with a Quokka keychain.

Y/N thanked all the boys for their beautiful gifts, which finally reached the last two members. If anyone ever asked her which two she would consider her biases, she would tell them Chan and Lee Know. While she loves all the members equally, those two (including Felix) stood out the most to her. One package is bigger than the other, but only by a little. Both feel soft like a pillow, and she’s torn over which one to open first. She almost forgets that she’s being recorded. “I don’t know which one to open first.” She laughs to herself. “I feel that there’s more clothing in both of these. I guess I’ll go with this one.” She grabs the slightly smaller one and cuts carefully. Inside is a hoodie, not just any hoodie, but one she’s familiar with. She pulls the letter out and opens it. She’s glad she knows how to speak and read Korean; otherwise, she would have to use her phone to translate.

Y/N,

Usually, I wouldn’t say I like sending things to people, but I will make an exception for you. Your channel has brought me comfort on hard days. I never realized how much they meant to me until I unconsciously looked up your videos. I want to give you this to have on your bad days. To know that you’re not alone and have people who care about you. I have included a small bottle of my cologne that you can spray on it when my smell starts to fade. I also included a unique Leebit plush that hasn’t been released yet. Thank you for being your true self and making others happy.

Sincerely,

Lee Minho

Y/N had tears rolling down her face, but she didn’t go to wipe them. Lee Know didn’t know whether he went too far or his gift wasn’t good enough. But she turned to the camera and smiled, hoping Lee Know could see her. “리노님 정말 감사드립니다. 너무 마음에 들고 잘 보살펴 드리겠습니다.” He smiled right back. “천만에요.” She grabs a tissue and wipes her face. “Okay, this is the last, then I’ll end the video here.” She opens the last package and inside is a black jacket with white writing. Her eyebrows scrunch together as she looks at it. Once she realizes what it is, she looks at the camera with her hands on her hips. “Christopher. Now I know damn well that you better not have spent a lot of money on this jacket. Don’t act like I don’t know my clothing brands; I know just how much this cost and it’s too much.” She shakes her head like a mother would when disappointed in her son. “Good grief. What am I going to do with you, mmhm?” She pulls out the letter and opens it.

Dear Y/N,

I wanted to be honest with you from the start. I didn't know how to feel when Stays first talked about you and how much you were like me. I felt like someone was trying to copy me. It didn’t help that the other guys adored you and talked about you constantly. You were always somewhere in my head, and I couldn’t get you out. I tried, but it only seemed to make it worse. It wasn’t until I found you crying your eyes out that it all changed. I’m not saying that your crying made me change my views about you, but I realized you’re a human being like me. Seeing you upset made me want to comfort you. You were holding my skzoo to dear life. I let my emotions control my thoughts of a person without getting to know who they were. I wanted to give you something to remember me by. This jacket is mine, and I also included something to spray on it when the smell starts to fade. There’s one crucial item in here that I want you to have. It’s not mine, but it’s a replica. I want you to have it and remember that not only are you by our side, but we are by your side, too.

Sincerely,

Bahng Christopher Chan ❤️

Y/N’s emotions were all over the place. He was jealous of her because he thought she was copying him. But it changed when he realized she was kind all along. Chan was feeling the heat from waiting for her response and the looks on his member's face. They see her pull out a bracelet. It’s the same Stay bracelet that Chan wears. She finally spoke up. “Wow, I don’t know how to feel about this. I, for one, appreciate you being honest with me. I don’t understand why you would be jealous of someone you’ve never met, but then again, I don’t see things from your point of view. I could understand if you have people who say I’m exactly like you. However, that’s not entirely true. Um, I’m kind of at a loss for words right now. I don’t hate it, but believe me, I don’t. I love the gift; I love all of them. The letter makes me ask, where did I go wrong?”

She looks back up at the camera before continuing. “I’m willing to look past this as long as you and I get along. And to Stays, please do not go bashing Chan for any reason. I better not find any of y’all being mean to my boy. I’ll find you.” She points her index and middle fingers to her eyes and the camera. As if saying, ‘I’m watching you.’ “I could see that if it were the other way around, I’m sure he would react the same way if I were him in this situation. But outside of that, I greatly appreciate the gift, Chris. Thank you.”

“Thank you all for watching! I hope to have more of these videos up soon. Until then, I will see you next time. Bye!”

End of Flashback

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present day

Which brings Y/N to today. When she arrived, the overhead boss told her the CEO wanted to see her. She started replaying everything she’d done, and nothing stood out. The only thing she could think of was something outside of work that had to do with her channel. After her Ordinary review went up, she received a call from an out-of-country phone number. She didn’t answer as she didn’t know anyone outside of the States. Maybe besides the email she got from JYP, there wasn’t a phone number listed.

She had let it go to voicemail, hoping that if it were necessary, they would leave a message. They left a message, and what she heard stunned her.

“안녕하세요, 저는 MNet Digital Studios에서 전화를 겁니다. 나는 여기 입장에 대해 y/f/n과 이야기하기 위해 전화하고 있습니다. 다시 전화해 주시면 감사하겠습니다. 안녕.”

(A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I kind of threw some things together hoping that they’d work. Wasn’t really sure what I wanted each member to gift to the reader, but I hope it makes sense. Anyways there’s more to come!)

((A/A/N: I forgot to add the translations in.

Blue- “Thank you so much Lee Know. I love it so much and I will take very good care of it.”

Green- “You’re welcome.”

White- “Hi, I’m calling from MNet Digital Studios. I’m calling to speak with Y/F/N about a position here. If you could please call us back. Bye.” ))

[pr3ttylittleslutt]

TW: depression, SH, SA, ED, shitty ppl, suicidal ideation?

Being depressed with a hypocritical ass family is so weird. I’ve been depressed since i was 12 and only recently got diagnosed, all those years it’s “ur being lazy” “ur rude and disrespectful” “ur wicked” “ur dramatic”, but all of sudden it’s “omg I always knew something was wrong” girl Ill bitch slap u all the way to fucking Africa dont play wit me. The amount of times yall degraded me and making me believe I’m the worst person to walk this earth is ridiculous if u ‘always knew something was going with me’, you don’t tell a 13 year old whose by the way going thru puberty and learning to deal with her emotions that she’s ‘a burden’ or ‘too much to handle’ thats so wrong. I remember the first time I self harmed, I was so overwhelmed and when I blew up yelling n fucking screaming u would want to tell me “your a child what the fuck do u have going on to be depressed or have anxiety” have u not been a teenager? When I told u what the fuck was going on ur response to me was “how was I supposed to know that if u never told me” BUT I DID THO WHEN I WOULD REFUSE TO INTERACT WITH THE PPL INVOLVED? WHEN I WOULD SHUT DPWN EVERYTIME I WAS AT THE PLACE. But it’s not only that YOU FUCKING LIVED WITH ME HOW TF DID U MISS THAT????? When I finally admitted I was sexually assaulted for the first time when I was 6 for 2 years YOU DID NOTHING. All u did was cry to make me feel like u cared but he never went to jail. He is walking free as we speak. He is still allowed to interact with me and other little girls. WHYYYYYYYYYYY. When I told you ur friends kids were threatening to rape me when I was 10 YOU DID NOTHING. When I told u my cousin was blackmailing me to have sex with him IM THE ONE WHO GOT PUNISHED WHYYYYYYYYYY? When I told u ur boyfriend is asking me to send him pics in ur lingerie at 15 fucking years old u never spoke to him? And I’m supposed to be grateful for him? Im supposed to do shit for him? Im supposed to hang out with him like nothing ever happened? Ur a fucking hypocritic. U would hit me when I ate more food than usual I WAS A GROWING CHILD ITS A NORMAL FUCKING THING instead u made me have an unhealthy relationship with food. At 10 years old I stared starving myself NO 10 YEAR OLD NEEDS TO EXPERIENCE THAT. I STARTIED CUTTING MY SELF AT 12 EXCUSES MEEEEEEE?And when u found out ur reaction is “why are u doing that? Stop it”, hell my first suicide attempt I was fucking 11 but u didn’t know right? And when all the sadness turned into rage ur fav thing to do was berate me for being “a miserable angsty teen” “ur being rude” maybe if u paid enough attention it would have to get to that point. All the signs were there but u all ignored them. And after all that n I go out of my way to get my diagnosis Yall wanna act all sympathetic in my face y’all are fucking hypocriticals and that’s why I don’t like going to see y’all. At the of the day I was the child you were the adult. U should’ve known better. Go fuck yourself.

Sorry

[spacerockfloater]

Yet another example of Team Black ass lickers playing victim

I’d really appreciate it if y’all could take some time out of your day and check this blogger out for this particular post they made about me.

I already replied but I felt the need to make a post of my own because they are out of their fucking mind!

This cockroach came into my post and called me a sick fuck for saying that Aemond taking revenge on Lucerys is not equal to Daemon ordering the execution of an infant in its crib, the latter being obviously way more unethical, and they absolutely lost their shit when I paid them back with the same coin. Like, the fuck did you think was going to happen?

Hey skank @mikasaerens , is this you?

Not only does your psychotic self come into my post and instead of sharing your opinion in a polite and civil manner, you choose to verbally assault me by calling me a “sick fuck who needs to be put into an asylum and a watchlist” over my opinion on a fictional character, but your lying ass has the audacity to paint me as the villain when I come swinging at you for being an offensive little twat? And claiming that you are the victim for sharing your opinion about said character?

Who the fuck are you trying to fool? Look at the rest of your replies, lunatic:

Own the shit you say. This all happened because of the language you used against me unprovoked, not because you shared an opinion! This all starts with you. You absolutely deserve every fucking thing I said about you. Crying “wolf” when you initiated this shitshow by having no manners is batshit insane behaviour. But I shouldn’t be surprised though, you are a Lucerys apologist after all. Sickening!

Try reaching out to public mental health facilities if you can because starting a fight and then thinking you and your friends are gonna make me feel bad for defending myself must be a whole new level of mass hysteria. I walk the talk, dickhead. Can’t say the same about you.

Tell your meatriders that have blocked me because they don’t have the balls to say whatever they want face to face I said hi! I’m always keeping it real. I’ll say whatever the fuck I want with my full chest. And it’s always somehow you lowlifes jumping into my posts, sending anon hate and being vile as shit, because never once in my life have I bothered to reply to you losers’ opinions or reach out to you! Seek help!

It’s such a fucking shame because I know plenty of Team Black fans that don’t act in the disgusting way you do, insect.

[callsign-jinx]

What were you thinking? | Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Word count: 1.3k

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x reader (pilot, wizzo... it's not specifies)

Warnings: mentions of Bradley's accident, yelling, swearing, maybe? i can't recall.

Prompt: yelling at them because they thought they'd lose them

It was difficult for Bradley to imagine a world in which his godfather, Mav, wasn’t present. That’s why when Maverick put himself in danger just to save him, he didn’t think twice and did what he thought was right. He put himself in risk, crashed his plane, and almost got himself killed just to prove that Maverick was still alive. 

Later on, Bradley would realize how wrong and how stupid he was. But that was something the Bradley of the future would have to worry about, not him. But then, just when he was about to jump into that old F-14 that neither he nor Mav knew if it worked, he remembered that there was someone waiting for him back in the carrier. You. The sweetest girl in the world, who had always been at his side ever since they met. 

The girl that right before he got into his plane made him promise that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. That he would come back to her. 

And guess what he just did. 

Now he just can pray and hope for Maverick to fly the F-14 back to the carrier without killing both of them. 

Fortunately, both pilots land on the carrier safe and sound, thanks to Hangman’s help. He gets out of the plane, celebrates with the rest of the Dagger squad the success of the mission, and then, when he turns around to look at you, the first thing he sees is your hand flying to slap his cheek. 

Needless to say, all celebrations stop right there and then. 

 “What was that for?” Bradley whines while rubbing his reddening skin.

“What was that for? Bradley, you crashed your aircraft. On purpose!” Your voice starts raising up with each word, and all the people around you decide that it’s a very good moment to leave and get back to work. 

Phoenix looks at Bradley, mouthing a big ‘you fucked up’ before leaving with the rest of the pilots and wizzos. 

“I had to save Mav, I told y’all he was alive.” Bradley waves it off, unzipping his flight suit. 

“And that justifies you risking your life like it means nothing.” You grab his helmet and throw it against his chest, but Bradley is quick enough to stop it with his hands. “You’re an absolute, massive, major himbo, Rooster.” 

“Oh yeah, that I am. But you don’t have to scream it around for everyone to hear!” 

“Don’t yell at me, Bradley Bradshaw.” You point a finger at him. “Because I’m not the one that almost got himself killed.” 

“I didn’t get myself killed, right? So stop yelling, for fuck’s sake.” He raises his voice too, matching your level. 

“You would be doing the exam same thing if I was the one that crashed his plane!” You make your final point, turning around on your heels and trying really hard to not cry. 

Deep down, Rooster knows you’re right. If you had been the one performing that stunt, he would have done the exact same thing you’re doing right now: yell at you. And that’s when he understands that you’re not doing it because you’re mad at him, even though it’s obvious that you are, but because you are scared. Scared of losing him. And he, instead of reassuring you that everything was okay now and that he would not do that again, just raised your voice and made the situation ten times worse. 

What an idiot he was. 

He finds you in your room, sitting in your bed, knees close to your chest and head between them, shielding yourself away from the world. Bradley knocks softly on the frame of the door, clearing his throat before he speaks. “Can I come in?” 

“If you’re gonna yell at me again, you can leave.” You say, voice muffled as you don’t raise your head to look at him. 

“I came to apologize. I can get on my knees if you want me to.” 

You raise your head, only enough for your eyes to be visible. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

He tilts his head, eyebrow raised and a smirk. “Is that a challenge?” 

You shrug, and he gets down on his knees, crawling to your bed, and making you chuckle at the vision of this tall man walking like this. “You’re an idiot.” 

“Yeah, in more ways than I like to admit.” He taps his index finger against your hand, waiting for you to open it, so he can grab it. You only move your pinky, and he grabs it with his own. “You were scared and instead of telling you that I won’t be doing that stupid thing again, I yelled at you. I’m sorry, love.” 

You let out a shaky breath, still shaken up by the whole succession of events. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you either, Roos. I’m sorry, too.” 

“It’s okay. We’re both idiots. I’m the bigger one, though. You can’t take that away from me.” 

You snort, shaking your head before circling your hand around his finger. “What were you thinking, Bradley?” 

“Well… actually, I didn’t think. Mav told to not think, just do. To follow my instincts.” 

You close your eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to not yell at him again after hearing the reason why he risked his life. “And your instincts told you the best thing you could do was to turn back and crash the plain?” 

His lips form a straight line when he realizes what he just said. “Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea.” 

“It should have never been an idea, in the first place.” You retort, flicking him on the forehead. 

He rubs the spot gently, nodding at your words. “You’re right. And I won’t do anything so stupid ever again. I’ll come back to you, sweets. Always.” 

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

“But I can try. And I’ll try every day for the rest of my life.” He swears, holding your hand against his chest, over his heart, a silent promise that he will try to return home safe and sound for you. “Am I forgiven?” 

“For now. Come here and give me a hug, you big idiot.” 

He lies on the bed with you, hugging you close and smelling the sweet perfume that lingers on your clothes, taking a deep breath now that he’s finally home. You’re his home. 

He’s about to fall asleep when a knock on the door makes him groan. Who’s disturbing this perfect moment of peace? 

He looks at the door, watching Hondo standing there, an angry, yet relieved, expression on his face. “Cyclone is looking for you.” 

“Cyclone?” 

“Yeah, you have to explain to him why did you go against direct orders and crashed a multi-million dollar aircraft.” He explains before he leaves. 

You look at him, biting your lip to not laugh. “You’re fucked up.” 

He lets his head fall again in your chest, groaning. “Do you think if I walk in Cyclone’s office on my knees, he’ll be less angry?”

“I don’t think that’ll work with him.” 

“Well, at least I can try.” He says, getting up from the bed and getting ready to beg Cyclone to not kick him out of the Navy. 

“Next time, think first, then do.” You say between chuckles, earning a middle-finger from Rooster before he leaves the room. 

[missmaywemeetagain]

Moonlight, A Pink Scarf Universe Story

A/N: So, I was challenged to do a prompt game, and since I'm desperately trying to fight my perfectionism and become more consistent with my writing, I took on the challenge and wrote this dramatic little heartbreaker this afternoon just under the wire like crazy person. I hope you enjoy this short, barely edited extension of Pink Scarf. It takes place a few months after the Christmas 1960 flashback in Part 16. (Please go easy on me because it is literally the least revised/edited thing I've ever put out and I desperately hope you like it 💗)

Thanks to @thatbanditqueen @whositmcwhatsit @ellie-24 @from-memphis-with-love @be-my-ally and @vintageshanny for challenging me to do this even when I wanted to convince myself I couldn't do it.

Prompt: “Do you mind? I came here to get away from other people.”

Rating: PG-13 || Word Count: 2k

TW: Miscarriage, medical trauma, angst, depression, intrusive thoughts

Moonlight

Hawaii, March 1961

The room is pressing in on you with all these jovial faces, celebrating in paradise after Elvis’ successful benefit concert for the Pearl Harbor Arizona Memorial. You should be celebrating with them.

You wish you could.

Instead, you are fighting back tears, praying that no one notices your frantic need to escape the otherwise wonderful atmosphere.

Elvis decided to bring you all along for a month-long vacation of sorts as he films his newest picture, Blue Hawaii, and performs the benefit concert to raise money for the Memorial. Y’all need some rest and recreation, he’d said joyfully, his eyes falling on you in particular, and how could you possibly refuse? It genuinely seemed like a great idea, even though he’d technically be working, and so would Jack by extension, but a change of scenery would do you some good after everything that's happened. Maybe you and Jack could reconnect on the tropical getaway, you’d thought.

But so much had happened since you agreed to this trip.

No one knew, of course. Not Jack. Not your family. Certainly not Elvis. You had made sure of it because you couldn’t stand the hopeful looks that would have come with the news, and the inevitable pity that would’ve come after.

The humid Hawaiian air coupled with the room full of people makes you feel as though you can’t draw a full breath. Lightheaded, you push your way through the throng of people filling the lavish home that had been rented for the express purpose of Elvis being able to stay comfortable and private during his shooting schedule. It’s an incredible relief once you burst out onto the patio, then stumble down the sandy path to the breathtaking beach.

Surprisingly, there’s not a soul on the moonlit sand, and for that you are eternally grateful because you cannot hold back your choked sobs any longer. The ebb and flow of the surf crashes over your crying, and you very much wish you could drown your sorrows in the vastness of the ocean in front of you.

Getting pregnant again was not even something you thought was possible. It was cruel, you thought, that you’d nearly made it 12 weeks this time before your body decided that it would reject the baby. You had just started to really, truly think it would be different this time. You were getting ready to tell Jack. You were almost, almost happy.

Even more cruel was that it was almost a year to the day of you bleeding out on the floor of the Rollerdome.

In some ways you’d been thankful that everyone had been so busy preparing for the trip that no one paid much mind to the fact that you locked yourself in the bathroom for hours, silently sobbing through the cramping and the bleeding and the clotting. You’d known then it was too late.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you hug your knees and begin to rock in the soft sand. At least it’s beautiful here, you think absently, trying to soothe yourself.

You’d taken to bed, claiming a bout of food poisoning, and no one was the wiser, being as excited and busy as they were. Not one of them seemed to bat an eye or think it was strange that no one else had any symptoms. A small part of you breaks a little at that, feeling more alone in the world than you ever have. But another part figures it’s just as well. Perhaps it is a blessing that no one knew of your latest failure. Honestly, you so were disappointed in yourself over it all you didn’t think could handle that disappointment from others, especially Jack.

Two days after losing your second child, you’d gotten on the plane to come here, spending hours upon hours with a false smile spread across your features. Maybe if you smiled enough you’d start to believe it. After all, you were in paradise with Elvis Presley. Millions would kill to be where you are.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Be grateful for what you have, you berate yourself, as you have more than once on the trip. Not even the stunning beauty of the island has been able to push your thoughts away from your loss, your seemingly unending sorrow permeating even the most beautiful of sunsets.

The only moment when you’d felt truly free of it had been watching Elvis’ concert earlier. He was so mesmerizing that it was impossible not to be caught up in his performance. You’d been happy for the momentary distraction, for the way your heart had flip flopped a little at the sight of him in his element, sweaty and feeding off the crowd effortlessly. It was easy to get swept away amongst all the screaming fans, to understand why the man you’d called a friend was the sensation that he was, and to forget everything but him for just a little while.

But by the time this stupid afterparty rolled around, the dark cloud that followed you this past year found you once more, and you were honestly too tired to push it away any longer.

You can’t help thinking how you should have an infant with you now, that in a kinder world you’d have your baby and perhaps another on the way. But the world is not always kind. Instead you are empty and alone.

So you find yourself sobbing on a gorgeous beach in Hawaii in the middle of the night, finally allowing yourself to sit in the grief of your misfortune.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been out here before his tall, lanky frame towers over you, interrupting your grief so suddenly that you find yourself livid.

You furiously swipe the tears from your cheeks, knowing your makeup is smearing but not having the energy or wherewithal to care. “Do you mind? I came here to get away from other people,” you snap.

Even in the darkness, you see how taken aback he is by your anger, his pretty face shifting from surprise to annoyance.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who brought you to this beautiful place?” Elvis says lightly, but you can hear the edge in his tone. He’s not used to people speaking like that to him, least of all you.

Honestly, you’re not really sure when you last spoke to him at all. Since your strange little embrace on Christmas, he’d taken to avoiding you most of the time, yet again. Coupled with how empty you felt from your miscarriages, the fact that your friend had been so obviously (and seemingly purposefully) absent from your life in the past year was heartbreaking in its own right. It was like a slap in the face on top of your other failures, so far from the unbridled excitement he’d shown when he’d discovered your first pregnancy before anyone else had. So far from the love and care and attention he’d given you before.

You’re not sure you really understood how much it bothered you until this very moment. His sudden entitlement for attention and gratefulness makes your blood boil.

You pop up off the sand, pushing your windblown hair out of your face. “Oh, yes, how sorry I am that not every one of my thoughts is about your stunning generosity, your majesty,” you say sarcastically, viciously, before turning to stomp down the beach away from him. You’ve never, ever spoken to him this way, to anyone this way, but the darkness of your sorrow has flared into something else entirely, this blistering anger threatening to swallow you whole and take Elvis with you.

“Excuse me?” he says indignantly, grasping your arm and whipping you back to face him. His eyes flash in the darkness, both in confusion and with warning.

“Don’t touch me!” you spit, ripping your arm out of his grasp.

“What has gotten into you? What the hell did I do?” he shouts, his voice raising over the surf.

“Not everything is about you, Elvis!” you scream back at him.

For a second, it looks as if you’ve slapped him across the face, with the way his eyes widen in surprise.

You pause for a moment, breath heaving, before continuing. “And since when do you even care what’s going on with me?”

 “W-What are ya talkin’ about? O-Of course I care! I-I-I brought ya on this trip, d-d-didn’t I?” The emotions fly over his features so quickly it makes it too hard to discern what he’s thinking, but his stutter belies his frustration.

“You’ve barely talked to me in a year, Elvis. Can’t imagine why I’d think you care,” you scoff.

His eyes go dark, then blank, that Hollywood mask of his sliding over his features. “You’re nuts! You’re just bein’ crazy…” he starts, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I must be. I must be crazy thinkin’ my friend might give me the time of day after…everything that’s happened,” you hiss back.

Elvis blinks, his long lashes fanning over his cheekbones. You don’t know if he’s finally done the math in his head, figuring out that you nearly died and lost your baby almost exactly a year ago. Or maybe, like he’d somehow known you were pregnant the first time, he gleans some supernatural understanding of what might be happening with you now. Either way, his gaze softens dramatically.

“Oh, honey,” he says, “I didn’t—”

Yeah, you didn’t, you think bitterly. He didn’t do a lot of things. He wasn’t even there after you almost died. But you suppose being a star of his caliber didn’t leave him much time to slum it with you, not anymore. And why would he want to? Not when you’ve been depressed and have already failed at the one thing you felt you were created to do as a woman.

“Just leave me alone, E. You’ve gotten good at that,” you mutter, angry tears filling your eyes, turning away from him to stare out into the churning waves.

You can’t look at him. But you feel the heat of his eyes, nonetheless.

“Don’t do that, y/n,” he says quietly.

“Don’t do what? Speak the truth?”

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” he growls.

He doesn’t get to be angry. Not about this.

“No, you don’t know, Elvis. You have no idea what it’s been like, you couldn’t. And you haven’t even tried…” you trail off, shaking your head.

You know that’s a lie. Whatever had happened between you on Christmas had been something, as much as you’d tried to deny it and forget his strange behavior. Perhaps that had been him trying.

Suddenly, more than anything, you want him to pull you into his arms like he did that night three months ago. You want him to comfort you and let you sob against his chest, to inhale the distinct scent of him as the heat of his lean body presses into yours. You want the desperate tension that is climbing between you to shatter you and make you forget that the past year had ever happened.

But instead of drawing you close, you watch him put distance between you. You feel as he fortifies that invisible wall he’s built between you this past year. It’s only in the depths of his churning cobalt eyes that you see something akin to apology, along with something deeper that neither of you truly wants to unpack.

Then, Elvis shutters that churning away, his fist clenching and unclenching in time with his jaw. “Yeah, I guess not. I’ll leave ya alone, then.” And he turns and walks away.

Oh god. You feel as though you’ve been hit in the chest, pain radiating inexplicably through your torso, the claws of his dismissal ripping through your insides. You don’t know why. You wanted him to go, and he went.

You sink down into the sand, fresh tears pooling in your eyes, and you wish more than anything that the ocean would just swallow you whole.

Taglist:

@atombombbibunny @yesimwriting @uselessbutinteresting @mirandastuckinthe80s @dark-as-love

@domaniquessidehoe @im-lame-irl @allybrooke05 @hangmanswhore

@jazmin2211  @kvcssghbjbcd @coldonexx @dudinhahoff @whatstruthgottodowithit @tiredbuthappy  @amiets2  @saintmagx

@kvcssghbjbcd @butlersluvbot @babydollie43 @vainbimbo @meladollsims @wstelandbaby @dre6ming @normatural @ash-omalley @xcallmetaniax @galvz-42 @thejezebel @fullmetal-falcon @robinismywife @dre6ming @seaweedbrain00 @amiets2 @mslizziesblog @heisatroubleinapinksuit @calusussss @dont-feel-so-good-peter @rainydayz101 @pizzaisrelationshipgoals  

@liaaacantwrite @kittenlittle24 @kaitaesupremacy @butler-trouble @eliseinmemphis @russian-soft-bitch  @tattywood 

@sassanoe @re3kin @thella @suspiciousmidge @hiddlepiddlediddlewiddle @carolinesbookworld @juggernort @aesthetic-lyss @stitchattacks @donnamarie23 @ab4eva 

@fic-over-cannon @lacyluver @littlebitofgreen @paigevis @godlypresley @bugg06 @xhannahbananax03 @artlover8992

@18lkpeters @frozenhuntress67 @girlblogger2002 @kendralavon7 @elvisgf @misspresley @ohjustpeachyachy1 @whositmcwhatsit @be-my-ally @precious-little-scoundrellittle-scoundrel @vintageshannygeshanny @from-memphis-with-lovephis-with-love @prompted-wordsmithmith @ellie-2424 @thatbanditqueennditqueen @stylespresleyhearted  @elv1s-is-pretty @crash-and-cure

[idontplaytrack]

i fell asleep for 2hours bc my head felt heavy as hell but i just woke up to a bunch of comments from @frogs00 and @reneeswif3 and i nearly screamed maybe cried(im sick and emotional)‼️😬

i started writing bc i needed a way to cope with life’s stresses— more so in the last few years bc i was diagnosed with new chronic conditions after being disabled already since birth. so i was always lonely and made up stories in my head to entertain myself. home life’s honestly pretty messy so quite a bit of what i write into fics are drawn from real life experiences and emotions bc i believe that if i know what i’m writing it will make more sense. in a way, writing what i’ve written so far has given me closure on different things that i couldn’t have gotten elsewhere or in other ways bc it’s the main way i know how to deal with my problems.

i’m just so flattered and happy that people from so many places around the world connect with what i write and even like my writing — i honestly don’t know how to accept compliments like its lowkey scary to me — its a problem i have 🫥 i’ve met some of the sweetest people on here in such a short period of time and not gonna lie, you guys keep me going bc i’d just be having a bad day and y’all would like, comment or even reblog my fics. It just brings a smile to my face when I can’t.

Y’all would be surprised (maybe not) to know that my best friend is someone I have never met and lives halfway across the world from me. We met because of my Auli’i book on wattpad and we talk every single day now. She’s already been with me through so much (I’m chronically ill, everybody I feel like has run away from me or avoided me bc they don’t want to deal with a sick person and I get that. And sometimes friends just drift.) but she is just someone I appreciate so much because she isn’t afraid to be honest with me instead and ask questions. It’s so new to me but so refreshing because it’s forcing me to reflect and learn so much about myself.

People like you all that come across my works one way or another and leave an impression on my mind, I especially cherish because even a small gesture makes my whole day. I don’t even know exactly why I’m writing this much but at this point I’m crying and getting out what I’ve been feeling(you see?🥲)

okay, okay. i’m done. i adore yall, you lovely human beings. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[notstilinski]

Abbott Elementary Starters !

Taken from season two the 2022 ABC series, Abbott Elementary! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! There may be some light spoilers!

“I took it as an opportunity to grow. Not physically, of course, because I can’t reach the top shelves in my apartment.”

“Sea (Name) is very different than Land (Name).”

“If this is what they expect of us, it’s can’t be unrealistic.”

“Are you about to get evicted?!”

“I thought coming into work a full adult would be my solution, but I’m drowning.”

“I get it now. I’m not not a fan.”

“Then why do I have to see Chris Pratt everywhere?!”

“Oh, I don’t do that anymore. Because I’m in therapy and anger management.”

“Oh, we don’t take bribes — That aren’t in the form of money.”

“I think she’s saying I’m a broke boi.”

“(Name), I said that I don’t want to go to a strip club with you.”

“I hope all the kids aren’t here today. Yesterday, almost everybody was in attendance and it almost broke me.”

“You don’t want to be a corny legend.”

“Ya’ll gotta stop playing God with that boy’s life.”

“I’m not in the mood to improve-d at.”

“(Name) tells me I sound like a lesbian. I’m working on that.”

“And one of those is the right side, which is mine.”

“Are you two in a fight? Looks like ya’ll in a fight.”

“Poison? You know I ain’t poisoning anybody. If I’m taking someone out, I want to watch them go.”

“I’m starting to think that I didn’t grow into the person I’m proud of because of it, but maybe I did despite of it.”

“What’s that I taste? The taste of sweet victory?”

“Who does everybody get so surprised when I say I’ll help? I’m a professional.”

“You time yourself going to the second floor?”

“It don’t count if I don’t have my Fitbit on.”

“I haven’t seen you this made since the bartender cut you off at the batting cages.”

“Disguises, crime, looking hot? These are my specialities.”

“Okay, well, thank you for the donation to my mouth.”

“I’m just one of those people where chaos really affects my mood so I’m just gonna call it a day.”

“Ghost, ghouls and new friends.”

“Oh, like y’all came tell these moderately attractive white men with bears apart.”

“You truly do have the taste of a middle aged midwestern mama.”

“And now you’ve made me an accessory.”

“I Googled it. But I like to maintain that aura of dark mystery.”

“This is cutting into my pre happy hour hour.”

“All these wasted eggs when the (Name) is in town. Now I’ve got to throw a Molotov cocktail at their bus.”

“And I want to shield them with the best defense: Positivity.”

“The emergency is… I don’t feel like it right now.”

“Merry Capitalism to you all.”

“You know what? They’re a lot like paint fumes. Small doses? Fine — Even somewhat enjoyable. But too much just gives you a headache.”

“Yeah, after I introduce myself, you know. Start dating, get super clingy, abs go through his phone he might be.”

“That’s right. Now go ahead and make Juvenile proud.”

“Is that my work husband grinding on my work nemesis?”

“I’m sorry, you look like you’re in deep thought.”

“I drink a lot of Snapple so I kind of know some facts.”

“I know plenty of people who have counted me out before and, while I have absolutely no way of confirming this, I’m positive they’re all dead.”

“Sorry, so your- You dad, he hired an actor to play his child instead of just asking you?”

“Don’t look at me like that, he gave me his number.”

“I was both the hostage negotiator and the hostage.”

“Well, I’m a pacifist. You mess with me, I’ll pass a fist across your face.”

“We are watching the first Toy Story because the third one makes me cry.”

“What in the Earth, Wind and Fire is going on here?!”

“Okay. She’s robbed a child.”

“Aw. Disposable income.”

“Do you want to pinch my cheeks? My mom says it helps.”

“Well, that was before I realized that I have an insecure attachment style. I now recognize it for the disdain that it is.”

“I don’t think an adult has ever apologized to me before.”

“I will kick your (Name)-loving Valentine’s Day ass right out of this building.”

“Shame. So hot, yet so annoying.”

“I am one minor inconvenience away from putting this whole day in rice.”

“Mandates are nothing more than fervent suggestions.”

“Just because you got a round face like the Teletubbies sun baby doesn’t mean that the world revolves around you.”

“It’s cool that no matter what I do, no one is happy.”

“Let’s say that (Name) has a bubbly personality to cover up deep-seated mommy issues.”

“The silver lining about dating is that you only have to be correct about someone /once./“

“Last night, as the kids would say, was a film.”

“That is bisexual erasure. I expected better from you.”

“You’re a dork but you’re messy.”

“Weird cash floating around? Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“Come on. Let’s go bully some sensitive artists.”

“Now you two need to get on board. Who we fighting first?”

“That’s why Mothers Day was invented. So less mothers would leave their families.”

“Don’t give Jesus my credit.”

“Nothing good has ever come from nerds whispering.”

“It’s because you abandon people, and it’s nice to finally hear you say it out loud.”

“People had hopes for you, and they gave up on me!”

“I get why you left (Name), it just kind of felt like you left me, too.”

“My night terrors have spread into day terrors. I can’t tell if I’m asleep right now or if this is some kind of waking nightmare.”

“Why can’t you ever give me credit for a good idea?”

“My lies don’t discriminate.”

“Never have I been so happy to hear such explicit content.”

“At the end of the day, they have to decide who they want to be. And this one decided to be a jackass.”

“So what you’re going to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, come back here tomorrow and do your job.”

“People have thrown dirt on my name, others have given flowers. It’s all a garden to me.”

“I love the company of others. But I’m trying to like my own.”

“I’m just gonna go back to avoiding her and never asking her for anything.”

“You would beat my ass, wouldn’t you?”

“The key to never getting your ass beat? Knowing when someone can beat your ass.”

“Note to self: New way to manipulate. Step one: have a daughter. Step two: Play the long game.”

“I’m a master forager. My speciality? Mushrooms.”

“I don’t know how to leave this conversation.”

“I’m counting on those tiny fists for very precise blows.”

“Yeah. I take all your recommendations seriously — I want to know why you like stuff.”

“Uh-uh. I don’t like clanks in bags. Clank-clank leads to clink-clink.”

“No wonder your dad’s a landscaper, the way you beat around the bush.”

“You need to be better at hiding things with your face.”

“Everybody I like knows it. (Name) and Diego Luna has seen my tweets.”

“If I don’t get a smooth eleven hours, I get a little handsy.”

[dragondevinity]

Genshin impact Sagau~!

Part 7&8

-

You had heard about a certain bard in Mondstadt that won the best bard in Mondstadt award three times, “I should go visit Venti… I should also get a temporary place in Mondstadt… maybe I could work at Angels Share, plus it’s getting close to the cannon start of the game, so I’ll need to wait for Traveler to go to Mondstadt anyways…” you thought out loud while Xiao was just sitting near you reading a book you had bought him, “y/n I don’t know what your rambling is about but it can’t be good…” Xiao said since he only heard words like Venti, game, cannon and the incoherent rest of the rambling, “ah! I forgot you were here sorry Xiao!” You replied, “oh! Would you like to come to Mondstadt with me?? I’ll get you some of the best almond Tofu!” You said happily, Xiao sighed, “ok y/n, when do we leave?” He asked in return, “tomorrow!” You replied, “okay then y/n” he said.

And so here you two are at the gates of Mondstadt, “let’s get you some almond Tofu, then I’ll need to go do something by myself…” you explained to Xiao, and so you took him to Good Hunter, and you bought three plates of almond Tofu for Xiao and sat him down with the food at the table.

And so you were off to the hands of the barbatos statue to see if you could spot Venti, it didn’t take long to spot him in the centre of town playing his Lyre, and so you hopped off the statues hands and went into the crowd to listen, you pulled out the pouch of mora you have had since day one, and you quickly go to good hunter again and grab some apples, you paid and went back to the crowd, it took five minutes before he had wrapped up the performance, people started leaving and he hadn’t spotted you yet, so you snuck up behind him and trapped him in a hug which surprised him greatly, he turned his head around quickly to assess the situation, his eyes widened and quickly turned around and hugged you back, “oh my Celestial! Y/n!!! When I got back to Mondstadt I looked for you and assumed you were gone, and I even checked the library for information on what happened to you!! But there was nothing!!” Venti exclaimed now crying into your shoulder, “Venti I only just heard about you being back a week ago, I had to make sure I had left nothing to do whatsoever, also I’m sorry I scared you so much, I missed you terribly in the last 500 years…” you said starting to sob now as well, you two stayed like that for a while, then you took out a apple, you handed him the apple quickly, “Venti I need to go get someone really quickly, let’s meet at Vanessa’s tree okay?” You said softly, he nodded and disappeared quickly, you turned and ran to Good hunter, only to see Xiao with 10 empty plates instead of the original three you bought him, “Xiao I’m back, I want you to meet someone, come on!” You said giddily before grabbing him by the shoulders and teleporting the two of you to Vanessa’s tree where Venti was waiting, as soon as you got there you were hugged by Venti again, the look on Xiaos face made him look like a kicked puppy, “Venti this is Xiao! Xiao this is Venti!” You said which made them both snap out of it, “nice to meet you Xiao!” Venti said, Xiao nodded softly in response, ‘maybe I could get them together!!!’ You thought suddenly, ‘I’ll wait until they both know each other better though before I try to get them together!’ You thought right after, it was slowly becoming dark and you were all talking, “oh I should probably mention something!” You said, “I’ve technically only known Xiao 60ish years less than you Venti!” You state casually, both Xiaos and Venti’s eyes widened at that, “oh shit! Neither of y’all knew about the other yet…” you said nervously, “Adeptus Xiao meet Barbatos~!” You say even more nervously, “WHAT!?!!?!!?!??!” They both yelled at the same time, and so you explained to them how the other had met you and some other stuff…

-

It took you over 500 years to find out you can teleport to fucking taverns! Like why! Anyways…

You were working a shift at angels share with Charles while talking to Diluc, you had made Diluc give you the job after you explained that you needed a job and were new to Mondstadt. Then it happened Paimon, Traveler and Venti burst through the door and got a table upstairs away from the guards that came in soon, you watched from behind the bar until they left…

You left the counter to go clean up a table, and the trio came down shortly after, you just watched for a bit nearly giggling, ‘fuck it I’m joining the conversation now’ you thought, “ok this is a nice talk you four are having right now, I want in” you said casually while slinging a arm around Venti’s shoulder causing him to squeak in surprise, “y-y/n~~! Don’t scare me, you know the wind likes hiding your presence~!” Venti whines, “y/n? You know this bard?” Diluc asked raising an eyebrow, “this is one of the friends I’ve told you about Diluc!” You state casually, “eh!!! Why does this bard know such a pretty lady!” Paimon exclaimed, this caused you to finally realise which one of the twins was the traveler, “ah nice to meet you Aether~!” You say happily not noticing that you messed up, “h-how did you know my name miss? The only person I’ve told that to is Paimon!” Aether exclaimed pulling out a sword, the other three pause then look at you expectingly, “oh fuck I’m so sorry, I should explain y/n to you Traveler, since I’ve met her she’s always done things like this, it’s something she hasn’t ever been able to stop when it happens…” Venti explains, ‘I’m so thankful this isn’t the first time I’ve done this shit!’, “so about storm terror! I assume you guys plan to go and steal the holy lyre back from the people who stole it? Well I’m happy to help! I’ll even bring Venti’s future boyfriend~!!” You say cheerily, Venti’s face flushed in response and the others realised you were teasing him, “so now that that’s nearly settled I’ll meet you all at the location tomorrow night and we can go over the terms more safely, till we meet again! Now sho sho~!” You say before shoing the three besides Diluc out, you were about to go back to serving before Diluc pulled you aside to talk, “y/n I’m happy you want to help in this whole debacle but I don’t think it’s safe for you, you aren’t an adventurer, it’s not safe…” he said looking into your eyes, at this you giggled, “come with me to the guild tomorrow Diluc, I’ll need to show you something~!” You said smiling, Diluc felt shivers go down his back, it made him feel like he had made a grave mistake by saying anything…

Time skip!

You were all at the place where the battle against storm terror was about to take place, you were in one of your normal outfits which confused the rest, “oh yeah would anyone want a protection spell cast on them?” You asked quickly, everyone nodded quietly, you cast the spell with no effort which shocked them momentarily, “it’ll ware off by tomorrow morning” you say casually, then it started, you wanted to help but you waited to see if your help was truly needed, everything went off without a hitch thankfully, and you all went to angels share to celebrate with fruit juice and dandelion wine~! (Cough *Venti because it was all on you* Cough).

You all were so happy that this debacle was finally resolved… if only shit wouldn’t happen in Liyue soon… ‘I’m going to fucking stomp Zhongli if he doesn’t say something to me or Xiao before fucking going through with faking his archon-selves death!!!’ You think to yourself as Venti and Xiao cuddle on the couch next to your chair.

-

There’s part 7&8~!!!

[fandomsoda]

the reason that anons keep coming is because you keep hurting people

???

here’s the thing, it’s not that I don’t believe you, I do, it’s just that I don’t know what you’re talking about or referring to, I never know what any of you are talking about.

y’all keep accusing me of hurting people when I don’t know who you’re referring to, you don’t tell me who’s been hurt or how and when you do those people refuse to communicate with me so I can’t help or fix it or do anything… I try so hard to make things right but you never give me the resources. You never give me the means. I’m left in the dark, I don’t know how to help, I don’t know what to do.

and when I’m hurt and I respond to that hurt, you side with the person that hurts me

You are not heroes, I’m not your villain, no one is. I’m not malicious, I’m not a monster, I’m just confused. The only reason I keep hurting is because I don’t know that I’m doing it, and I want to stop it, but you refuse to lift the blindfold from my eyes. I can’t stop because I don’t see what I’m doing wrong.

You accuse me of being cruel in ways that don’t make sense, say things too vague for me to use. Accuse me of not seeing things from others’ perspectives, when that’s all I try to do, I consider and I use what I know and I try. I take into account every factor, doing my best. I’m so confused because I try to see and understand everyone else but it feels like no one else considers me or how I feel. You jump to demonizing me before I even know what’s going on.

None of this is me trying to justify my actions, I’m not defending myself, this isn’t me debunking what you say, it’s a cry for help. Please, help me understand. Help me know. Instead of tearing into me please help me be better. Change your methods, I beg.

Please stop hiding behind your anonymous masks and perpetuating this cycle, show me who you are, show me who is trying to help me. I can’t get better or learn if I’m just being shouted at by faceless voices. Because I don’t want to sit here apparently having done something wrong and not knowing what to do about it. I want to help, I want to learn, I want to change, but I can’t, not like this.

Please… because I’m not angry, I’m afraid. I’m so, so afraid. Afraid of myself, of what I’m capable of, of what I don’t know about myself. I want nothing more than to absolve everyone of all the pain I’ve unwittingly caused. I want to hug every single person I’ve hurt and pour warmth into them, I want to help, I want to heal, I want to change. I want to make you happy, I want to make you smile, I want to be a force for good, I want to be a bringer of light.

But the way you all engage with me is cruel, and dehumanizing, and I would never speak to anyone in the ways you do me. So damnit, if you want to help me, talk to me directly. Treat me as human. Because anonymous asks mean that I either have to ignore you or respond publicly and, contrary to popular belief, not every part of someone’s life should be in the public eye. Everyone else doesn’t need to see me work through this all the time, people who don’t know me don’t need to watch me struggle, this journey is a personal one and I shouldn’t have to constantly post about it to make any progress. As much as I want to be better for people, this also isn’t everyone’s business and my attempts at self-improvement shouldn’t be made into a spectacle. And when I do these things publicly, it makes everything I say feel performative and it makes me feel like my words are meaningless when I mean them with all my heart and it’s frustrating. How will any of you know I’m genuine if you keep putting me on the spot and under pressure?

I’m sorry that you’re scared of me. But I want to help, I want to change that. I will be gentle and calm as I can be, I will do whatever to make you comfortable, just please actually talk to me. I understand being scared to confront someone, I get scared about that whenever I have to… but dang it, you know what I do? I do it scared. I do it anxious, and I make it known that I am anxious. Because if it’s important, it’s important. And even if I’m scared to talk to someone, having bravery will usually be for the best.

I’m sorry, I’m just… a mess. And I feel hollow at this point. I keep asking to be helped but no one does and I wonder if you guys actually want me to stay bad… it feels like you don’t actually care about me changing, you just want to make me look bad and humiliate me, please…

[liliansun]

no one particularly cares but i need this moment to vent bc i’m on the verge of tears and i wanna smash a pumpkin against my wall. and like,, if for some reason you read this lmk if i’m being unreasonable bc i feel like i am but then again i’m not.

so my bf is going into the military and he’s gonna be leaving in december right? so he just left meps today and got to his house and said his family pushed his birthday dinner from tonight (it’s his birthday today) to tomorrow night. i was like okay, he was gonna come over in the morning and we hang out w my baby and then he was gonna skedaddle off to the bday dinner with his family.

with this information i was gonna make him a cake and surprise him bc i didn’t get to see him today. so then he tells me his dad pushed it off to wherever so he was gonna go out w his guy friends to hang out and plan for the bday dinner to be later this weekend and i’m like okay and he tells me he’s gonna come by later in the day tomorrow instead of the morning bc he’s out w the boys. i’m like okay, have fun and be safe and i update him and yada yada. so then he tells me he’s going to texas which is like a few states over (4+ hour drive in the night) and i’m in the middle of a cod mobile game and i’m thinking to myself. wtf? bc in my head that contradicted the whole plans he kept changing for tomorrow (context: i was off today and tomorrow) and then he’s like nvm my friends voted against it and idk if you think like me but i thought that was dumb as hell.

so then i’m in a sour mood, i lost my br match bc i was so just out of it bc i’m like wtf? sure go do whatever you wanna do w your friends,, but if we made plans to hang out how tf do you expect me to feel when you plan to go state hopping instead. so we get into this discussion which i don’t want to call an argument and he’s like “i’m sorry but at the same time i’m not” and i’m like. elaborate. bc that shit didn’t make sense to me. “he’s like i’m sorry i’m being difficult but i’m not sorry bc i assumed you had no plans for tomorrow. well sir,, i was trying to SURPRISE you and idk if me asking a million times what time you wanted to come over didn’t give a hint?? guess not?? but okay and i’m trying to end the conversation bc i’m annoyed and he’s annoying me even more by wanting to talk it all out right here rn and i’m the type of person who needs time to think over everything,, collect my thoughts and readdress it once i’m clear headed and can see where i was wrong and he’s not

and then we get to the point of conversation where he’s like well what do you have planned for tomorrow and i’m like nothing now, you wanna go out w your friends so go out w them and he’s like we’re not going and im like okay, so go do something else w them i’m just not in the mood and he’s like no i wanna see you and i’m thinking to myself that i don’t particularly wanna see him but ik it’s bc i’m in a bad mood and maybe i’ll feel better in the morning maybe i won’t but rn i’m like stay the hell away from me before i start crying. and he’s like well the latest i’ll be by is 3 and i’m like okay. nice. and he’s like my recruiter might need me around 4 ish and i’m like. so you mean to tell me you wanna drive 40 minutes to my house to turn around and drive another 30 minutes and come back for another 30 minutes?? this is coming from the man that literally told me earlier today “since i’m quitting my job bc i’m going into the military, i don’t wanna be reckless w my spending till then”

so i mention that bc that’s a waste of gas and idk where y’all live but that shit ain’t cheep here and he tells me to let him worry about that and i’m like okay bc atp i’m done having the conversation and he’s trying to be lovey dovey and i’m about to throw my phone into the gulf and cry to tswift songs bc i just don’t know what to do.

part of me is like let him come bc he’s gonna be gone soon and you don’t know how long or where he’s gonna be at for boot camp and part of me is like he didn’t take in consideration the fact that he made plans with me and threw them out the fucking window on the highway while he was keke giggling at the thought of driving idek how many hours away and sleeping with his friends in his friends’ car.

so yeah. if you’ve made it this far on my lil ted talk, i love you. i think i’m genuinely gonna go cry and hold my baby and just try to sleep bc my head hurts and my heart hurts and i feel like i’m being irrational but at the same time i feel like i have a right to feel this way.

[aajjks]

no one listen to alina. vote jorja & y/n cus i’m sure the anon might follow the poll like last time (no offense anon 😭)

but here’s my intake on this:

i myself genuinely think they’re better apart than together. when they’re together it’s cute ngl. i was rooting for them but then that happened. i def got a bone to pick with y/n bcs WHY DF DID YOU NOT STAND UP FOR YOUR MAN?!!! i would’ve fucked yerin up 👊🏾 and as for JK why the hell would you punch an innocent man on the clock 😭 could’ve just snatch y/n up and fuss her out that way. idk how they would’ve talked about it beforehand if the party was a SURPRISE but you could’ve done that ig? both were wrong and i really felt bad for JK specifically like that really hurt my feelings when he left crying. matter of fact, make JK fall in love with me. i’ll treat him right 😂😂😂 (don’t tell TC!JK y’all. don’t want him to catch me cheating)

Honestly, I agree with you 100% but here’s my take on this situation.

See now tpol jk is someone who loves really hard but when you break his heart, he expects an apology and whenever he broke her heart or hurt her feelings, he worked really hard to make up for it and she made him work hard for it [and rightfully so] but he’s just a type of man to expect the same effort back.

He regrets getting chae pregnant. We all know that even if he was under the influence, he still feels guilty about it. And yn had a really big heart, and she accepted him and his son like her own.

I think that yn is very familiar with his possessiveness and his insecurity when it comes to seeing her with other men and it made me kind of upset that she didn’t defend him in front of yerin who keeps on insulting him by the way, and is always talking shit about their relationship, and she really has no right to do that, so he got hurt by that as well because he’s always protecting yn, even from his father, he literally killed his father because he hurt yn, he broke up with chae because he still had feelings for yn and she hurt her.

Honestly, I think that jk was 30% wrong because he punched an innocent stripper, but yn was 70% wrong for not defending him, and… she should’ve.. I think rejected the strippers advances because he did the same thing, and he expects the same from her.

And if he did as you just suggest that he would’ve just snatched her away and confronted her about it. I think that would’ve been a mistake because all of you would think that he’s very toxic and very rough with her and I didn’t want him to do that to her but I wanted him to confront that guy instead

And another thing I would like to point out because most of you guys are missing that point, is that yerin shouldn’t have posted that video on her story, she deliberately posted it knowing that it would bother yns fiancé a lot, and she knows him very very well. It’s like she wanted him to react that way to kind of prove that he’s not the right man for her best friend to yn and jorja.

She knew how he would react, but she still posted that video, knowing that he would see it 100% and how can you not expect him to react the way he did? And the way yerin called yn Jaemins maid? Like that was a low blow from her and honestly jungkook gave yn the biggest gift a woman could ever have and that is being a mother of someone or being called a mother. We all know he would never use yn for his own baby.

Yerin knew the consequences and I think yn was set up. Plus I think that his reaction was hundred percent correct, why does yerin interfere so much in the relationship like I don’t get her. He hates it when someone interferes in his relationship.

Yn was wrong in two things, and that was that she didn’t defend him and.. she just let him walk away like that. I think he deserves an apology from her and that he deserves to be with her because he’s done so much to have her, and they both belong together in my opinion.

The thing about yn is that she always walks away from him, or lets him walk away from her and never does anything, but.. she just gives up on him :/

Both are very toxic to each other. Even though jk takes more points for being toxic but you get it don’t you?

The real villain here is yerin.

[call-me-maggie13]

I got into an argument with my boss at work again and I’m going to make it y’all’s problem bc I’m not done being pissed about it.

TW: child loss, miscarriage, abortion, sexual assault

My boss made a fucked up comment about how women who have abortions should not be allowed to have children in the future and I swear to god I almost swung on her. But she’s old and white and she maybe she doesn’t know what she’s talking about so I tried to be polite and explain it to her and she was like “well, it’s not like you will ever have an abortion so I don’t think you should have a say” (she knows I’m a lesbian) which like 1) the men who wrote the laws won’t have abortions but also 2) I almost did have an abortion.

I was nineteen and in US Navy Nuclear Power School, which teaches you how to run a nuclear power plant in literally a year. It’s almost seven years of university condensed into one year. And I was left pregnant after I was assaulted by someone I had previously trusted with my life. I didn’t want to carry his baby.

I couldn’t have a baby, I didn’t have the time and I wasn’t in a place where I could emotionally raise a child. On top of that, my chain of command would’ve pulled me out the minute they found out I was pregnant bc the schooling is so stressful.

I made the decision after two weeks of research and debate and isolation. I made an appointment out of state to get it taken care of. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want anyone to tell me I was making a mistake.

I miscarried the next day. It was brutal. I had already decided against keeping it, but when my own body rejected it, my entire world flipped on its axis. I didn’t want a baby, but I didn’t want to not make the choice myself.

I didn’t want to spend seven hours in a hospital room with a nurse who seemed disappointed in me and a Petty Officer I didn’t like. I didn’t want to have to explain to my LPO why I hadn’t disclosed my pregnancy, I didn’t want to have to file an official report with my command, I didn’t want to be pulled out of classes for six months because my chief didn’t think I could handle classes, I didn’t want my old classmates to visit my barracks just to ask if I was okay and then stare at me like I was broken. I didn’t want it to happen that way.

I don’t really know how to explain it, because I know I would’ve gone to that appointment and I would’ve gone through with the abortion without any hesitation, but I have so many big feelings about what happened.

I feel like I failed as a woman, like I failed as a mother, like I couldn’t accomplish the one thing women have been doing since the dawn of time. I’m scared that, if I ever want to carry a baby, I won’t be able to. I’m angry that I had to call the clinic and tell them I didn’t need the appointment anymore and listen to the woman on the other side congratulate me on choosing to keep the baby I just lost.

I’m relieved that I didn’t have it, don’t get me wrong, but I feel so terrible about the way it happened.

There was no power in having my body get rid of it, it was just another way my body betrayed me after what happened.

And some days, I do grieve the loss of what it could’ve been. I’m not sure if I would do the same if I’d had an abortion, but some days it tugs at my heart and knocks the air from my lungs and fills my head with buzzing. Some days the grief is so strong that I don’t want to get out of bed and it’s been almost three years.

I don’t even know how to explain what I felt in the moment after the doctor told me I was miscarrying, because a large part of me wanted to be relieved that it was over but I wasn’t.

My boss is a fucking asshole and I literally hate her, but I love my job and I love my students so I didn’t say anything that I wanted to. So instead, I’m going to go cry and maybe throw up.