#that i will get gamers rage over so like the fact that i just spaced and we lost i was pissed and confused snd i couldn’t even play anymore
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no one particularly cares but i need this moment to vent bc i’m on the verge of tears and i wanna smash a pumpkin against my wall. and like,, if for some reason you read this lmk if i’m being unreasonable bc i feel like i am but then again i’m not.
so my bf is going into the military and he’s gonna be leaving in december right? so he just left meps today and got to his house and said his family pushed his birthday dinner from tonight (it’s his birthday today) to tomorrow night. i was like okay, he was gonna come over in the morning and we hang out w my baby and then he was gonna skedaddle off to the bday dinner with his family.
with this information i was gonna make him a cake and surprise him bc i didn’t get to see him today. so then he tells me his dad pushed it off to wherever so he was gonna go out w his guy friends to hang out and plan for the bday dinner to be later this weekend and i’m like okay and he tells me he’s gonna come by later in the day tomorrow instead of the morning bc he’s out w the boys. i’m like okay, have fun and be safe and i update him and yada yada. so then he tells me he’s going to texas which is like a few states over (4+ hour drive in the night) and i’m in the middle of a cod mobile game and i’m thinking to myself. wtf? bc in my head that contradicted the whole plans he kept changing for tomorrow (context: i was off today and tomorrow) and then he’s like nvm my friends voted against it and idk if you think like me but i thought that was dumb as hell.
so then i’m in a sour mood, i lost my br match bc i was so just out of it bc i’m like wtf? sure go do whatever you wanna do w your friends,, but if we made plans to hang out how tf do you expect me to feel when you plan to go state hopping instead. so we get into this discussion which i don’t want to call an argument and he’s like “i’m sorry but at the same time i’m not” and i’m like. elaborate. bc that shit didn’t make sense to me. “he’s like i’m sorry i’m being difficult but i’m not sorry bc i assumed you had no plans for tomorrow. well sir,, i was trying to SURPRISE you and idk if me asking a million times what time you wanted to come over didn’t give a hint?? guess not?? but okay and i’m trying to end the conversation bc i’m annoyed and he’s annoying me even more by wanting to talk it all out right here rn and i’m the type of person who needs time to think over everything,, collect my thoughts and readdress it once i’m clear headed and can see where i was wrong and he’s not
and then we get to the point of conversation where he’s like well what do you have planned for tomorrow and i’m like nothing now, you wanna go out w your friends so go out w them and he’s like we’re not going and im like okay, so go do something else w them i’m just not in the mood and he’s like no i wanna see you and i’m thinking to myself that i don’t particularly wanna see him but ik it’s bc i’m in a bad mood and maybe i’ll feel better in the morning maybe i won’t but rn i’m like stay the hell away from me before i start crying. and he’s like well the latest i’ll be by is 3 and i’m like okay. nice. and he’s like my recruiter might need me around 4 ish and i’m like. so you mean to tell me you wanna drive 40 minutes to my house to turn around and drive another 30 minutes and come back for another 30 minutes?? this is coming from the man that literally told me earlier today “since i’m quitting my job bc i’m going into the military, i don’t wanna be reckless w my spending till then”
so i mention that bc that’s a waste of gas and idk where y’all live but that shit ain’t cheep here and he tells me to let him worry about that and i’m like okay bc atp i’m done having the conversation and he’s trying to be lovey dovey and i’m about to throw my phone into the gulf and cry to tswift songs bc i just don’t know what to do.
part of me is like let him come bc he’s gonna be gone soon and you don’t know how long or where he’s gonna be at for boot camp and part of me is like he didn’t take in consideration the fact that he made plans with me and threw them out the fucking window on the highway while he was keke giggling at the thought of driving idek how many hours away and sleeping with his friends in his friends’ car.
so yeah. if you’ve made it this far on my lil ted talk, i love you. i think i’m genuinely gonna go cry and hold my baby and just try to sleep bc my head hurts and my heart hurts and i feel like i’m being irrational but at the same time i feel like i have a right to feel this way.
#lilac’s ted talk 🗣#this was a mess and lots of emotions so idek if this was something i needed to let out or keep to myself.#also if you truly know me you how much i take into playing cod mobile and i’m very prideful in winning that game like it’s the only thing#that i will get gamers rage over so like the fact that i just spaced and we lost i was pissed and confused snd i couldn’t even play anymore#but if you play cod mobile hmu and we can play together
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Shocking News: Ubisoft Does What Every Developer Ever Does to get Positive Free Marketing for Upcoming Video Game! Rando CHUD Gamers In an Uproar!
This has been fucking bothering me at this point, okay? So I'm using this opportunity to vent because ignorant stupid people don't know how the gaming industry works and/or are exploiting the fact people don't for clicks. And I'm so fucking sick and tired of this shit at this point so I'm going to rage for a second.
Try not to see this as me defending UbiSoft, fuck them, I have no love for any video game company ever and feel that cheerleading corporations is fucking stupid, either for or against them. But this sudden attack on them is less about actually shitty gaming industry practices that HAVE valid problems associated with them and more about the ridiculous culture war that this Space Wizards IP is trapped in. If this was any other game by UbiSoft no one would care, but it's a Star Wars game, so some idiots do care. Here's the run down.
UbiSoft recently sent previews out to various gaming news websites and major YouTube Gamer Influencers concerning the impending release of "Star Wars: Outlaws." A bunch of them got to go down a private preview event where they got free merch, hung out, played the game for a few hours, that sort of thing. They supposedly even got a trip to Disneyland out of it and a Boat Tour.
Finding out about this, every single right-wing culture warrior on YouTube instantly pounced on this and declared that UbiSoft was bribing people to give good reviews for "Star Wars: Outlaws" to convince people to buy it! Because the game is actually terrible and no one would actually like it on its own merits, and they know its terrible despite not getting to play it because... well... uh... it's Disney-Era Star Wars and that's always bad! Kathleen Kennedy made their wives leave them and shat on their rug! It wasn't them, it was Kathy! She did it! She snuck in during the night and shat on the rug! Then she took their last can of gamer fuel and broke their waifu figurines!
If you must know, the real reason "Star Wars: Outlaws" is in the crosshairs this go around is simple enough. The lead star of the game is a woman you see, a not fair-skinned woman, and people got pissy over this. How dare they not make the most basic ass video game protagonist design for this one game! Brown hair and eyes with four o'clock shadow white dudes are the only heroes that should ever appear in any video game ever, says they. "Why can't you just let us pick our gender?" they cry. You couldn't pick your gender in "Jedi Fallen Order", where was your crying then? Oh? Was the protagonist a dude there? Gee, I wonder why you found Cal Kestis being your only option as a player character okay, but Kay is an awful choice forced onto you?
So Kay Vess being a woman means "Outlaws" must be opposed, must be bad, and therefore must fail in order to stop the horrible scourge of DEI Gaming Development before all our precious white male protagonists are gone forever! Boo hoo! We don't get to play a dude in this one game out of the several dozens that will allow us to! If we don't stop this now, gaming is ruined!
And of course, anyone who plays the game and has something nice to say about it? Well obviously they're corporate shills, who were bribed by Disney to say positive things and there can be no other possible answer. No one can legitimately like a game that has a g-g-g-g-girl as the lead character! That's insane! And to prove how not sexist they are they'll list all the female characters they actually like in games, mostly all the ones that make their peepee hard.
They even went after GManLives, a respected independent gaming critic, just because he apparently played and liked the game. And they're still going after him even after he took the video down because he didn't want to deal with that shit. Accusing him of selling out his principles for a trip to Disneyland.
It's ridiculous and not just because it's a bunch of people complaining about a video game that isn't even out yet and hasn't been properly reviews. It's because critics and influencers getting special perks and shit for previewing games is nothing new. It's been going on forever.
Publishers of video games want to maximize their chances of getting good reviews. But they don't bribe people for them. They try to butter them up a little by inviting them to big marketing events, but that's just standard. You always try to give the people looking at your product a good time. Especially if they are critics with the power to sell it for you for free.
What they generally do is promise you exclusive coverage, behind the scenes details, access to developers, hands-on demos, interviews with the cast, inside information. And they provide it to the critics and influencers first who they feel will best promote and be favorable to their product at no extra cost to them.
If you decide to not be fair or NOT provide positive feedback, well then next go around they won't invite you to the big marketing event party. They won't give you hands-on demons. They won't get you access to developers or the cast. It's a major misbalance of power, but it's been a thing in gaming since forever. Nothing "Outlaws" is doing in the lead up to its release is that different.
And no one is actually hiding this anyway. Gaming websites and the influencers in questions regularly admit they were provided these previews by the publisher or developer of the game. That they were invited to check it out directly. That this is a preview that they scored under the watchful eye and with permission by the developer. They admit to the sponsorship element of what is essentially a commercial advertising something. They can't be too harsh or they won't get invited back, but they also won't withhold criticism if they find fault in something. In fact, sometimes to convince people they're not being too positive, they will force themselves to say something negative in some way to prove they aren't biased. It's usually something extremely subjective concerning the article writer's or content creator's personal taste.
Being driven out to Disneyland or given a boat tour aren't what I'd call major bribes. They're at best, the company trying to cozy up to an interviewer or influencer in order to keep them in a good mood and retain positive feedback. It's about maintain the relationship between their halves of the industry, putting on a show, treating the guys who help you sell your games right. Is it a problem? Oh yes, it very much is, it makes a lot of gaming web sites rather unreliable given how they'll go softer on a game to retain that relationship. But it is nothing new and Outlaws hasn't been the first game to do it, nor will it be the last.
And all the same, if the positive feedback as that consistent overall, it's not because they were bribed to say it. It's because they genuinely enjoyed the slice of game they were given and allowed to play around in. Even then, in those positive looks, I noticed complaints about this or that, minor quibbles, about what I'd expect from a preview event that went well but isn't ready to call it just yet.
My opinions on UbiSoft are fairly simple, they make some pretty good games overall. But they're still a gaming company, and that comes with a lot of baggage. Especially given Ubi's recent sexual harassments scandals and poor working conditions. They're not special and deserve to get ripped open when deserved. But not for letting a bunch of influencers run around an organized event where they got to play a game, get a plushie alien salamander and then run off to Disneyland when they were done. Because that's not a UbiSoft problem, that's an industry problem and one not easily solved. If you're a major gaming company, is it wise to keep giving exclusive peeks into your stuff if the news site was unfair to you? That's money better spent on someone who doesn't have an axe to grind. And gamers can hold grudges worse than anyone. I should know, I'm a gamer. I tend to hold a grudge.
Everything I've seen so far about "Star Wars: Outlaws" suggests it is, at the very least, a solid open world action game with UbiSoft and its stable of developers is fairly good at creating. And Massive Entertainment, the developer, has made some of my favorite games in the past. I believe Outlaws will be good, nothing I've seen suggests it's a bad title, let alone a bad entry in the Star Wars brand. I just don't see the justifiable reason to cry foul play here. This isn't like "Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League" where the red flags are obvious from the word go. This isn't even head-tiltingly worrisome like Cyberpunk 2077, which kept getting delayed and delayed and problems were apparent even in preview builds that news sites raised eyebrows over. Nothing Outlaws has done suggests this impending disaster. At worst, it will be a fairly okay game, but nothing that's going to completely collapse a company under the weight of its failure.
But that's not the point. This isn't about any of that. It's about a stupid culture war and it's pissing me off how some idiots are pretending they have anything legitimate to complain about. Fuck, if they thought they could get more money out of it, they'd all be lining up to go to Disneyland for Free and take a boat tour themselves. But they're pathetic, loser, dipshit little fuckwits who can't cut it as real journalists. Because then they'd have to actually fucking do real work instead of shitting out 12 videos about how Brie Larson is evil incarnate in a day.
And at this point, I'm seriously rethinking my plans here. I was intending to get Outlaws at a reduced price through some Microsoft Rewards points. But now I'm not so sure. Maybe I should just pay for most of the game or something, if only to piss off the fucking CHUDs who want to convince me it will be a horrible failure. But I don't like the idea of playing the Capitalist Cheerleading game just to own some fucking douchebags on the internet. So I'm not sure at this point. I know I don't like playing $90 for a fucking video game. Wish they'd complain more about the increase in prices for Triple A titles than bitching about Girls existing in their Space Wizards Media.
Fuck it, I don't know what I'm gonna do at this point. I just know that stupid people are given way too many platforms these days to spew stupid shit and no one calls them out on it. It's fucking infuriating. Pre-Order or don't to your heart's content folks, stop listening to fucking idiots on the internet.
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Demonic Pregnancy (But It Makes the MC… Problematic)
Okay, so hear me out. I know the prevailing idea is that a human getting pregnant with a supernatural kid would sap their strength and what not… But what if the opposite happened? So basically, getting pregnant by the brothers would make the MC physically stronger, but more susceptible to their sin… Oh this is going to be fun. 😈
Trigger Warning: Pregnancy
Lucifer
First noticed something was up when the MC came into his office to bring him coffee and casually ripped the door of its hinges… with one hand… by the handle…
He didn’t even have time to be mad about it because he was already frantically texting Diavolo and Barbs that there was something very wrong with the human. They’re not supposed to do that.
Meanwhile MC is in the background marveling at the newly freed door in their hand… They hadn’t even thought about it! Is this what having power is like?? Are they actually dangerous now??? Better not let it go to their head…
*it is totally going to go to their head*
Lucifer learns two things pretty quickly, (1) The human is pregnant with his child and (2) They’ve just been given access to a whole lot of power and they’re mind is set on one thing: Domination.
The next nine months for him are spent practically having to leash the MC or else they’ll go out to pick fights with anything that moves to prove their “superiority”… His brothers and even Diavolo included!
It wouldn’t be so bad if their body wasn’t still very human and very breakable… and also they’re PREGNANT, so please STOP!!
This baby, honestly, could not come fast enough… Good thing demons don’t develop grey hairs… Poor guy…
Mammon
Noticed something was up when they were chatting out at RAD and they dodged a stray ball from Beel.
They dodged a ball. From Beel. And he throws at, like, Mach 7 speed… And it didn’t even look hard!
… But being the dumbass that he is, he just thought they had gotten a lot better at their magic. It was Lucifer who saw something wasn’t right when the MC was actually holding their own against Mammon and Beel in a race.
Was thrilled by the news at first but then quickly learned that he must have infected them with Greed somehow…
They wouldn’t stop begging for new stuff! Sometimes for him or the baby, but mostly just whatever struck their fancy the second that they saw it.
He’d try to tell them no but then they’d look all sad or whine about hard it was to be pregnant and how they couldn’t do things like tie their shoes or stand for long periods of time or…
(Never mind the fact that they could bench-press Beel if they wanted to, no no, that didn’t matter.)
His nine months were pretty much spent pandering to Lucifer and Levi for more loans to keep his MC happy… and praying they’d snap out of it after the baby finally came because he CANNOT keep paying for their crap…! 😥
Leviathan
MC and Levi playing games in his room and one of their online matches got particularly heated… The MC may or may not be prone to gamer rage, but that night they got so frustrated that they snapped his controller in half like a toothpick…
They were too busy trying to frantically apologize to take notice of their sheer strength, but HE did. And he was thrilled!!
Like, sure, it sucks that he’d have to buy a new controller but that was So. Cool. Their strength was like something out of a shonen!! He was honestly fanboying too hard to question, “Wait a minute, how did they even get that strong??” The MC later went to Lucifer themselves to get it all got sorted out (really Levi was no help whatsoever) and man was he shocked by the news…
Though he was even more shocked by the sudden spike of jealousy that they seemed to exhibit afterward… Like, extreme “You better not leave my sight” level jealousy… 😣
One the one hand, he’s kind of into it because being alone with the MC is all he’s ever wanted!… but on the other hand, dude really wants some space…
He tolerates the next nine months for three reasons: (1) He does honestly love the MC, (2) Watching them break (other people’s) stuff and fight demons with their bare hands will never stop being cool, and (3) He’s somewhat afraid of what they’d do if he tried to leave so… 😥
Let’s hope the effects are temporary…
Satan
Found out something was wrong when he and the MC went to the park. He saw an old acquaintance of his and left to go say hi but came back to find that the MC had uprooted an entire park bench to squash a nosy lesser demon…
Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, he’d ever read about humans told him that they were capable of that!
Figuring this has some kind of magic origin, he doesn’t bring them to Lucifer but to their resident human sorcerer instead, Solomon…
…and THAT bright idea ended up getting the MC magic tag-along throughout their pregnancy since Solomon wanted to make "a few” observations, the lying bastard… 🙄
Even more unfortunate though, is that the introduction of Wrath into their system also gave the MC an utterly monstrous temper which didn’t help their newfound strength at all…
Poor Satan gets saddled with caring for what amounts to a hair-triggered glass cannon… (though really it’s less protecting them from the world and the world from them 😣).
Needless to say, he’s lost quite a few bookcases over the next several months…
Asmodeus
It was another night with Asmo, so another night out clubbing. He and MC were together for most of the time, but they had left him briefly to get another round of drinks… and somehow got dragging into a straight up brawl in the process.
And they WON…
Asmo brought them right to Lucifer after that. Like, he loves you sweetie, but there were like ten lesser demons there and no way a little human like yourself could pull that off without something being up.
Oh he was overjoyed by the news, but the real test was yet to come… Who would give out first? The Avatar of Lust or a very, very, astronomically horny MC…?
In truth, no one in the House ever wants to talk about what happened for those next nine months ever again… The things they saw… The things they heard… Filthy, filthy things….. 😖
And more broken beds than anyone could care to count…
Let’s just say that they’re all happy the MC was already pregnant, otherwise they’d be dealing with a LOT more demon babies running around… What a hellscape that would be…
Beelzebub
The MC was helping him move some of his weights between rooms. They were only supposed to carry the lighter ones (which really weren’t that light) but they were carrying them so easily that the two got suspicious… They tried to lift one of his heaviest barbells and, to their amazement, they picked it up even easier than he could!
They both just kind of stared at each other for a few seconds before calmly agreeing to go find Lucifer. This probably wasn’t normal…
What pregnancy even was had to be explained to Beel since he doesn’t really understand humans and he only needed one thing confirmed…
So, they’re eating for two now?
And boy did they act like it! The MC’s appetite practically tripled as the months went on and he did his best to keep up for them. He even missed a meal or two for the first time in his life because he was so preoccupied making sure his MC had enough to eat… 😣
Their tastes also got weirder as time went on… At one point they asked for Solomon’s cooking which nearly had him “Nope-ing” out of the relationship right there. He stuck through it to make them happy, but he couldn’t watch them eat it… Even he has his limits, MC… 😟🤢
Wants the baby to come out already if for no other reason than he can finally go back to being the biggest eater of the House again. Having to work around two is a nightmare for everyone…
Belphegor
Would you believe he straight up didn’t know for weeks?
Like, they told him they were pregnant a while ago but all the pregnancy seemed to do was make them really sleepy…
Combine their naps with how often he’s dead to the world and it just never got brought up. 🤷♀️
That was until the day it was his turn to vacuum the common room and the MC was resting on the couch…
“MC, can you move? I need to get under there.”
“Hm? Oh, sure. Let me help.”
They then proceeded to get up and lift the couch with one hand like they were Beel or something!
He was, perhaps, slightly miffed that they didn’t think it was necessary to mention they had gotten a butt ton stronger for like a month, but you know…
Belphie has probably the easiest time managing his MC anyway because ALL they want to do is sleep. At most he just has to take on the responsibility to remind them to eat and move around a little.
Lucky bastard always gets off easy… 😖
#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me headcanons#obey me scenarios#obey me imagines#tw: pregnancy
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youtuber Sukuna
I beg you to read the shitposts I made about this, they are delicious. You don’t have to of course but...if you loved me you would :) s/n = screen name, and I hope you chuckle at Sukunas screen name
Content warning: uhmhm lowkey incel shit(mean internet comments and whatnot)
part two --- part 3
Name: Sukuna. Age: 25. Height: 6 foot 5 inches. Occupation: toxic Youtuber, fitness trainer and hot guy.
Sukuna wasn’t exactly known for being kind. He wasn’t nice to others, rarely having anything good to say about anyone, and he’d made a successful Youtube career out of it. First starting as a fitness trainer at his gym, through encouragement from his clients and the notion of a quick cash grab, he started Youtube.
He didn’t care about it and that reflected in the quality of his videos and editing. He didn’t have consistent uploads, just filming and posting videos whenever he wanted, analytics be fucked. But somehow, that worked out for him, and he quickly found himself with over two million subscribers just frothing at the mouth for his next video.
And those subscribers were some of the worst people. Sukuna didn’t care about fostering a safe space online for others, not in the slightest. His comment sections were atrocious, both on his Youtube and his Instagram. It was full of toxic men one-upping each other constantly and dragging on each other for not being able to work out as much as Sukuna did.
Sukuna was a large part of why his fanbase were so toxic. He himself often made bad comments about others, whether fellow creators or people that happened to appear in the backgrounds of his videos, and on more than one occasion he’d been ‘cancelled’. None of that mattered though, all he cared about was shitting on other people and making money.
Sometimes he played video games and posted it, but not too often. Sukuna often stated he wasn’t so much of a fucking lonely loser that he’d play video games all the time, and so the gaming videos he did post were few and far between. He played angry shooter games and GTA, mindless button clicking he could get lost in for a few hours for a video.
Laying in bed one night after uploading his most recent video, one where he rages at 12 year olds on GTA online, Sukuna was just scrolling through his phone mindlessly. After he uploads video game content, like clockwork, he gets recommendations for gaming channels. He only watches a few of them, mostly leaving mean comments saying what losers they are, but one catches his eye.
He’s never been recommended this kind of video before. The thumbnail is light and bright with some pink aesthetic lights in the back. But the most enticing thing is the person in the middle, cute pink cat ear headphones on and a bright smile.
“Let’s see…” Sukuna mumbles to himself, mindlessly clicking the video. He hasn’t even read the title, he only clicked it because they were cute, and here he is nearly blinded by the bright setup they have.
“Hi everyone, it’s (Y/N) here and I’m really excited today! We’re going to be playing this new game I found!” Sukuna is immediately enraptured by the sound of your voice, watching how your face changes as you talk. His eyes drift off to the decor behind you, cute plushies and healthy plants, and some twinkling fairy lights. There’s books as well, and your chair is one of those ergonomic gamer chairs he has as well but in pink.
Sukuna watches the video dumbly, totally in the dark about whatever you’re doing, but loving it all the same. All he knows is that he likes the sound of your voice, and when you laugh and smile at a funny part in the game, it makes a light flush come to his cheeks.
It only takes one video for Sukuna to spiral into more of your content. He watches a video on your gaming setup, and he’s surprised that so much technology can come in pink. He watches a video on how you edit, a few of you cooking in your kitchen, and even a few vlog videos.
He quickly subscribes to your channel, and when you plug your social media, he immediately goes there. Pulling up your Instagram, he stares at your profile picture and almost audibly coos at you for being cute.
Your profile is just as cute as your videos are and Sukuna barely remembers to follow you before he’s going through your whole feed, liking every picture he sees. Sometimes he leaves comments, only one word though, ‘cute’. He’s never liked something so outright cute before, it wasn’t who he was and it definitely didn’t fit with his brand.
Falling asleep after following you on every platform, Sukuna wakes up thinking about you as well. And he also wakes up to hundreds of comments from all his accounts, bombarding him with questions and screenshots from last night.
‘SUKUNA WHY WOULD YOU LIKE THIS SHIT?!’
‘OMG Sukuna liked (Y/N)s posts!!’
‘Sukuna is so gross and toxic, you better stay away from (Y/N)!’
‘SUKUNA YOU GAY NOW’
‘EW why the fuck do you like this bitch?’
There were hundreds of comments that he waded through. Most were from his fans, expressing disgust at how many photos of yours he’d liked and wondering why he, Sukuna, most heterosexual alpha male on the planet, would like a pretty in pink Youtuber who had bubbly intros and whined when their animal crossing villagers wanted to move away.
Other comments were from your fans, some in awe that he would like you considering how much he said he hated overly cute things. Other fans expressed concern, worried what this might mean for their favorite Youtuber. Did Sukuna want to cause problems, potentially hurting you? He did have a reputation of bullying others, so this wasn’t far fetched.
Checking your Instagram, you didn’t make any comment about it. There wasn’t any update or anything, but on his end he was being tagged in endless Twitter threads with screenshots of him liking your posts and commenting under them.
“For fucks sake.” He grunted, clenching his phone in his hands. The amount of notifications he was getting were starting to upset him and he nearly threw his phone to get them to stop.
Ignoring his phone for the rest of the day, Sukuna went to the gym like he always did and trained with his clients. Some of them brought it up to him, asking him if he had a mind break last night and forgot what he was doing. Sending them harsh glares, Sukuna refused to talk about it.
“Oh my fucking god.” Sukuna nearly wailed when he got home, finally checking his phone. His name and yours had begun trending, and the hashtag #protect(Y/N) was also. Muttering angrily under his breath, Sukuna turned on Instagram live.
“Okay what the fuck!” He shouted, seeing the live become instantly flooded with people all screaming about you and him. “You’re all fucking annoying, you know that?” Glaring harshly at the camera, he read some of the comments that went by.
‘WHY’D YOU LIKE (Y/N)S POSTS FROM 2017’
‘Are you two secretly dating??’
‘COLLAB!’
“Who gives a shit why I liked their stuff, you’re a fucking weirdo for keeping track of me. And we aren’t secretly dating, dipshits.” Rolling his eyes, Sukuna scoffed as more comments came in begging for a collaboration. “And think about it you morons, why would we collab? Our shit is too fucking different, what would we even film about?”
Sukuna stayed on Instagram live for nearly an hour answering questions asking about you. Every time he had to answer that you weren’t secretly dating, he got a little more annoyed. Not at the comments themselves but at the fact that it was true; you didn’t even know he existed.
Ending the live in a huff, Sukuna didn’t feel any better than before, and it was made even worse by the fact that everything he said was being relayed to Twitter, and you were tagged in every tweet.
“These idiots!” Staring at his phone, Sukuna couldn’t believe what he was seeing. On your Instagram stories, you’d posted a q&a for your followers, and nearly all of the comments were about Sukuna.
“Hi everyone! No, me and Sukuna aren’t dating!” You said, laughing a little to ease how uncomfortable you were. “To be honest, I’ve never even heard of him before! As you know, my content is very...different from his, so our circles don’t exactly intersect. But I’m always happy to have new followers and potential friends!”
“Fuck me.” Sukuna groaned, cringing at how uncomfortable you looked having to address the sudden onslaught of questions. For once he wished he’d actually given a shit about his online presence, so that maybe one day your circles could intersect. He knew he scared you, he scared a lot of people, and this was just proof.
“Uh, Sukuna if you see this, hi it’s nice to meet you!” You said in the next slide, puffing out your cheeks and waving cutely at the camera. It made Sukuna blush, and he hated it. “Thank you for following me and liking my content! I was very surprised that you found me!”
“Of course I did, idiot, you’re fucking cute.” He muttered under his breath.
“I know a lot of people are asking for us to do a video together and I know our content is really different, so don’t feel pressured to respond or anything, but the offer is open! If you’d like, we can collab on something.”
“On what?” He asked like you were there.
“I cook sometimes, and I know you cook too! Maybe we can make a cooking video? You can teach me how to make healthy food or something!” Sukuna could tell a fake laugh when he heard one, and you definitely had one right now. “Anyways, thank you! Bye Sukuna!” But hearing you say his name cutely like that made him not care.
He nearly responded right away, accepting the collab offer now that you’d spoken about it, but he didn’t want to seem desperate. He watched through the rest of your Instagram stories, going back and replaying the parts where you talked about him over and over and his heart clenched every time when you said his name.
In the dead of night, Sukuna DM’s you after watching your latest video and leaving the simple comment ‘check your DM’s’.
“Fuck, what should I say?” He’s suddenly stumped as he looks at the keyboard. Typing and retyping a message, in the end all he can say is hi. He doesn’t expect a reply, ever, but when he gets a vibration on his phone two seconds later he jumps to read it.
(S/N): hi Sukuna! :)
(cursedgod): hey
Real fucking smart, repeating what he just said.
(S/N): is there something you wanted to talk to me about?
(S/N): I hope you haven’t been annoyed at all the notifications you’ve been getting!
(cursedgod): No it’s okay
(cursedgod): we can collab if you want
Good Sukuna, good. Play it cool, don’t let them know that your fingers are actually trembling because you’re nervous.
(S/N): do you want to?? I don’t want to pressure you! I know we’re pretty different haha
(cursedgod): yeah, let's do it. Cooking?
(S/N): sure!
Looking around his home, he was suddenly assaulted with the fact that he didn’t have any furniture. He barely had a proper bedroom, just a mattress on a bare frame and a dresser. His lounge room was the same with his computer setup in one corner and then nothing else. There was only a couch, a mounted TV and a fold out table and chairs for his dining room.
(cursedgod): I know a studio kitchen we can use, I’ll send you the address
Thank god he’d done promo work for a brand in a studio one day, otherwise he’d be fucked.
(S/N): awesome! I’m free next Saturday!
And just like that, it was a date. Well, a meeting. Sukuna knew it wasn’t a date, but his heart still thumped like it was one. Confirming the time, he ended the conversation with a curt goodbye and obsessed about it throughout the night.
When the day to meet you came, Sukuna nearly ran late trying to pick out his clothes. He’d never cared about looking good or presenting himself well in front of others, whatever version of him he turned up in was what they got. But for you, he wanted to try a little harder.
Waiting outside the studio space, Sukuna rubbed his hands together nervously. You’d messaged a day or two ago offering to put the video on your channel since it probably wouldn’t fit his aesthetic, so he didn’t have to bring his shitty camera equipment.
“S-sukuna?” Snapping his head up, Sukunas mouth fell open looking at your curious face a few feet away, an Uber driving off behind you. You were even cuter in person, just his fucking luck. How was he expected to act like a normal person when his recent obsession was here looking better than he could have imagined.
“Hi.” What comes out is a grunt, not the smooth word he’d hoped. He can see you eyeing him up, taking in all the thick and corded muscles of his body. It made his chest puff out a little, he worked hard for this physique and to have you so openly looking at him made him happy.
“It’s nice to meet you!” Sticking your hand out, you smiled politely at him.
“Same.” Shaking your hand with a firm grip, Sukuna could feel the difference in your palms. Yours was soft and nicely moisturized and he had callouses everywhere and a few cuts and scrapes.
Opening the door for you, Sukuna led you to the studio space he’d rented out. It was a clean and modern kitchen, not unlike his own, but it had appliances and looked actually lived in. Helping you set up a few camera angles, Sukuna felt a pang of nerves hit him in the stomach.
“Sukuna, can we take a picture together?” You asked before starting, and Sukunas brow furrowed deeply. Why would you want to take a picture with him? His expression must have scared you, because you quickly backtracked. “F-for promo for this video, on Instagram and stuff!”
“Sure.” God, did he feel bad or what. He shouldn’t have made that face at you, now you wouldn’t look him in the eye. Crouching down to get the right angle for you, Sukuna watched you pick a cute animal filter.
“Just do what I do.” Throwing up a peace sign, you cutely tilted your head from side to side and smiled. Sukuna tried to do the same but he looked awkward, and most of all he was blushing pretty bad.
You snapped a multitude of pictures, some at different angles and some with different filters, and in all of them Sukuna was blushing at least a little. He managed to smile more as it went on, even laughing at one of the filters.
“Thanks! I’m going to post these really quick and then we can get started!” Giving him a brief smile, you turned back to your phone and set about editing some of the pictures. Looking over your shoulder, Sukuna could see that he looked like a blushing high schooler meeting their idol for the first time and not a grown man.
Once the photos were posted and you tagged him in everything, it was time to start. Setting up your marks on the floor, you took a generous drink of water and cleared your throat.
“Are you ready for the intro? I’ll start it and introduce you, okay?” You’d actually prepared a script for yourself, and showed Sukuna as well.
“Okay.” Stepping in front of the camera, Sukuna bristled at feeling you so close to him. Your arm brushed his casually as you were fixing your shirt, and Sukuna was glad he’d worn his most expensive cologne for this.
“Hi everyone, welcome to today's video! As you know, I’m (Y/N), and today we have a special guest today!” Throwing your arms in the air, you motioned to Sukuna.
“Hi.” He nodded, barely cracking a smile. He could feel you looking at him like you wanted to say something, but he didn’t look.
“So, many people have been asking for us to do a collaboration and it’s finally here!” Clapping your hands lightly, you rocked on your heels and nudged his shoulder with yours. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?”
“Uh-” The playful nudge you’d given him was enough to make Sukuna short circuit. “I-I-” He suddenly couldn’t remember how to speak. “Rice?”
“Let’s try that again.” You laughed. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” This time, you didn’t nudge him with your shoulder.
“We’re gonna…” the words were on the tip of his tongue, they wanted to come out and be spoken but he couldn’t do it.
“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Nodding reassuringly, you took a deep breath in and out, and Sukuna shakily copied. “One more try?” When he looked at you, Sukuna expected to see a hint of annoyance in your face, but there was none. You were just smiling softly at him, waiting for his answer.
“Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll get it next time.” Stepping away from the camera, Sukuna took a drink of water and cleared his throat. Cracking the bones in his neck, he took a deep breath and came back. “Let’s do it.” No more fucking embarrassments.
“Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” You asked for the third time, slightly swaying your body side to side this time.
“We’re gonna make katsudon today.” Finally, the words he wanted to say came out.
“That’s right! As you can see, Sukuna is really fit!” You immediately hopped in, giving his arm a brief squeeze. “And he knows how to make a ton of healthy meals!”
“Mhmm.”
“So I asked if he could help teach me, and all of you at home, how to make it!” Smiling at the camera, you waited a few seconds before relaxing and turning it off. “Did you like that? We can refilm it if you want.”
“No, it’s okay.” Running a hand through his hair, he pointed to the bag of rice he’d brought. “Let’s get started on this shit.”
Taking fifteen minutes to film the two of you filling up the rice cooker, when it was over, you set about getting aesthetic shots of the other ingredients. Sukuna tried to seem casual off to the side on his phone, but he was really watching you.
Getting started on chopping the ingredients, Sukuna somehow managed to say the things he was supposed to without stuttering too badly. He was amazed that you could make the things he was doing sound so interesting, your narration as you held the camera and tried to do things yourself was impressive to the man that barely knew anything about cameras.
“Sukuna, I need help cutting the meat.” You whined, tapping the meat on the cutting board with a knife. “I don’t remember how you showed me.”
“Here.” Without thinking, Sukuan grabbed your hand with the knife in it and moved it for you. “You just have to move your wrist more, it’s not that hard.” Doing it a few times, when Sukuna felt your chest expand with air against his, that’s when he realized how close the two of you were. “S-sorry.” Immediately jumping back, he stared at the floor.
“Thanks!” Giving him a smile, you kept at it.
“I’ll fry the meat.” Stepping in as soon as you were done, Sukuna already had the hot oil ready. He was eager to cook and do something with his hands instead of - what he felt like - was awkwardly watching you off to the side.
“Okay!” Grabbing the camera, you focused on the pan. “You’re really good at this, Sukuna!”
“T-thanks.” Staring directly at the pan, Sukuna didn’t look away. Even with the hot oil popping up from the pan a few times and burning his fingers, he didn’t flinch at all.
“Ow!” But you did. Your hand had gotten too close, and when Sukuna flipped the meat, some of the oil had gotten on your hand.
“Shit.” Abandoning the pan, Sukuna was ready to drag you over to the sink for some cool water.
“I-it’s okay, it was only a little.” Shaking your stinging hand, you point to the food. “But I think the meat might burn.”
“Shit!”
Narrowly avoiding disaster with the meat, when it came time to cook the eggs, you made a joke about how you liked your eggs in the morning and Sukuna burnt them almost immediately. While not an overtly sexual comment, the implications of the words still affected him.
Somehow, he managed to make the dish come together and while his plated dish didn’t come out the best, yours looked at least halfway decent with overcooked meat and burnt eggs. The only things not messed up were the rice and vegetables, and even then Sukuna was surprised.
“We did it everyone, we made katsudon!” Holding up the bowls, you smiled big and nudged Sukunas shoulder again. “You saw we had a few mishaps along the way, but that’s okay, that’s what made it fun.”
“Yeah, it was fun.” Sukuna chuckled. Despite him being more nervous than he’d ever thought possible, he had fun cooking alongside you.
“Sukuna, will you try mine? I made it super pretty and everything.” Holding your dish up to him, Sukuna wasn’t expecting you to do that. Now he felt bad that his looked so ugly and like a teenaged boy made it; he almost said no.
Eating yours though, somehow it tasted better than he was expecting. It must have been how you prepared it, and the fact that you cared so much about the presentation. Eating it in silence, he let you eat in peace as well for a few minutes and compliment the food to the camera.
“Alright, that’s the end of the video!” Putting your bowl down, you turned to Sukuna. “I had so much fun today, thanks for filming this with me.” Now was his chance to make everything better. Putting his bowl down and bolstering himself with confidence, Sukuna threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close to him.
“Thank you (Y/N), I really did enjoy today. I hope we can film again soon!” He squeezed your shoulder and smiled really big at not only you but the camera as well. He knew he was blushing, he knew that even the tip of his nose was a nice rosy shade, but he didn’t care. If people teased him for it, then so be it. But he wanted you to know how he truly felt.
“R-really? You want to?” You asked, looking up at Sukuna from your place smooshed against his body.
“Really.”
“Aww, well you heard it here first everyone! Sukuna wants to shoot another video with me!” Clapping your hands a few times, you waved at the camera. “Okay, bye everyone!”
“Bye.” Sukuna waved too, waiting a few seconds before letting you go and turning off the camera.
“Sukuna, did you really mean it? You want to film another video with me?” You were in utter disbelief. All this time, he’d just seemed very standoffish, if not a little awkward around you. You were happy to film this video with him, he had way more followers than you and it would help boost both your channels, and to hear him say that just made it even better.
“Yeah, I was serious.” Sukuna spoke around stuffing his mouth with the food he still had left. He was more hungry than he thought, the nerves doing a good job of twisting his stomach during the video. Now that it’s over, he can finally relax.
“That makes me really happy.” Eating the rest of your food as well, you leant against the counter. “This is gonna sound kind of mean, but I was really scared to film with you today. I thought you were going to be really mean.”
“Shit, you did?” He grimaced, letting out a sigh. “Sorry I had you worried.” He could already imagine the comments you would get from his fans.
“It’s okay! You’re actually way nicer in person, I was surprised!”
“That’s good.”
“And you’re really buff, you have muscles in places I didn’t even know were possible!” You laughed bashfully at that comment, and avoided looking at him when he stared at you in shock. “I couldn’t help but notice…”
Were you checking him out? Had you been checking him out this whole time and he didn’t even realize? He had seen you eyeing him up when you first met, but were you looking at him like that at other times as well? Now he’d really have to watch your video to see if it was true.
“Thanks, it’s my job.” Could he have said that any lamer? “My job outside of all this, I mean. I’m a trainer at this fancy gym downtown.”
“Oh, I’ve seen some of your videos at your gym! I know which one you’re talking about.”
“You do? You’ve seen my videos?” If he wasn’t surprised before, he was now.
“Yeah, you know I had to do a little research beforehand.” You nodded, beginning to clean up the dishes around you. “And I know you’ve already watched almost all of my videos, so it only seemed fair.”
Did you have to bring that up? Now Sukuna was embarrassed again.
“Y-yeah, I did.” Clearing his throat, Sukuna helped gather the dishes. He took up washing them, another task he could do to get his mind off you. As you took down the camera equipment, he nearly broke several dishes and utensils from scrubbing too hard.
“I’ll call you an Uber.” He said when all was said and done and you were back at the front of the building.
“You don’t have to, it’s okay.”
“No, I want to.” Quickly calling you a ride, Sukuna fiddled with his phone a little more. “Uh, could I- could I-” His voice kept leaving him, and he had to cough a few times. “Can I get your number? I really liked your camera shit and I want to improve mine.” Okay, it wasn’t a total lie. He did like your setup and wanted to make his just as good, but he really wanted your number to potentially talk to you more about things outside of Youtube.
“Sure! Go ahead and type it in.” You were quick to give him your phone, a cute pink phone case on the back of it. Typing it in, he can’t help but notice the little devil emoji you add by his name. He wants to ask, but your ride is already pulling up.
“Bye!” Setting all your camera gear inside the car, you turn and wave goodbye.
“See ya.” Just as you’re about to close the car door, Sukuna gets a burst of confidence. “Text me when you get home, okay?”
“Okay!” And off you go. Sukuna watches the car drive off until he can’t see it anymore. He takes his time getting to his own place, eagerly awaiting your message with every step. But even when you do message him, all he can do is send a thumbs up back and nothing else.
It’s about two and a half days after that that you text him again, letting him know you’re done editing and that you’re going to post the video soon. It wasn’t a very long video to begin with, so the editing was simple enough. Sukuna replied with what appeared to be a lackluster ‘can’t wait’, but on the inside he was shaking. He’d already screenshot all the pictures the two of you took together and added them to a folder.
“Here we go.” As soon as the video went live, Sukuna watched it. He was mortified as soon as it started at the blush so evident on his cheeks, and how it stayed throughout the whole thing. He groaned at the part where he helped you cut up the meat, he almost wishes you’d cut it out. Every little detail that made him embarrassed was there, every little nuance of his actions you’d managed to capture and make it cute.
(Y/N): How do you like it??
You texted him after twenty minutes, eager to hear his thoughts.
(Sukuna): it’s good, good editing and stuff
(Y/N): yay! I’m going to read comments in a few hours, you should too! I bet people will be really shocked!
(Sukuna): yeah no doubt
Oh, he was definitely going to read the comments. Whereas you were going to wait for a fair few to come in before commenting, Sukuna frequently refreshed the page and read the new ones as they came in. You were right, a lot of people were surprised, but he also saw a lot of his fans as well.
‘Ew Sukuna really cooked for that bitch? They can’t do it themselves?’
‘Yeah, why do they have to rely on him? Useless as fuck lol’
‘Sukuna only did this to get laid, (Y/N) looks like an easy fuck’
All of those comments, and many more, made his blood boil. Usually, he wouldn’t care at all about the comments, letting them fester in his comment section and spiral out of control. But for you, it was different.
‘Fuck off and die you pieces of shit. Leave (Y/N) alone or say it to my fucking face’
Sukuna sent that message, along with a variety of other threats, to all the people that insulted you. He didn’t care that this wasn’t his channel and that you would deal with it in whatever way you wanted to. He needed to defend you against the unwanted audience he’d brought you.
Luckily, after seeing Sukunas messages, all of his fans backed off. They knew how serious he was about his threats and there were many rumors that he actually did go and beat people up who said things he didn’t like. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of his torment.
With Sukunas name attached to the video and his heavy presence in the comment section, the video easily went viral. It was easily the most viewed video on your channel, getting on the trending pages of several different platforms.
(Sukuna): hey
It’s nearly a week after the first video that Sukuna messages you, and the hype is still going strong, and your follower count grows greatly from it.
(Y/N): hi! What’s up?
(Sukuna): do you want to film a video for my channel now? We can play a game, I have a few
(Y/N): sure that sounds fun!
Oh how wrong you were. The game Sukuna chose was a scary game, a shooter game with scary zombies and a lot of possible jumpscares. He doesn’t tell you either, so on the night of filming - he insisted on it being nighttime to get the full scary effect - you were caught off guard.
“I don’t know about this.” You whined once you saw the title. The two of you were video calling alongside playing the game together, and Sukuna’s eyes flicked to your figure on the screen.
“It’ll be okay, I’ll carry you, don’t worry.” He had started filming as soon as he’d set up the game, and you were filming yourself as well for him.
“You promise it won’t be too scary?”
“If it’s too scary just close your eyes and I’ll protect you.” Smiling softly at you, he started up the game. The beginning was fine, just a quick introduction to the game, but as soon as things started to get moving, you were scared.
“Sukuna a zombie is eating me!” You screamed, frantically pushing buttons in an attempt to get it off.
“It’s okay!” He quickly got rid of it, and made sure to stay close to your character as the story progressed.
“(Y/N) stay by me, there’s about to be a whole lot of them.”
“Close your eyes there’s about to be a jump scare here.”
“Don’t worry about getting that item, I’ll grab it for you!”
Sukuna nearly forgot he was being filmed, saying sweet things to you to help encourage you and make sure you weren’t overwhelmed. There were many parts where you screamed in fright and Sukuna was there to coo at you and tell you it was okay. He made sure that your character never died, making sure to keep you close until the end of the game.
“Sukuna, that was so hard!” Squishing your cheeks in your hands, you looked at him through your phone.
“It was fun though, wasn’t it? I had fun with you.” Completely abandoning the game, he stared down at his phone with a soft smile on his face.
“Yeah, when there weren’t so many zombies.” You stuck your tongue out at him, and it made him laugh. Leaning his head into his hand, Sukuna grinned when you yawned.
“Aw, are you tired? Better go to sleep soon.” His voice dropped to a lower volume, like you were right next to him.
“I will.” You yawned again and it made Sukuna yawn as well.
“Get off the phone and go to bed, you’re making me tired too.”
“Fine.” Whining out the word, you waved sleepily. “Goodnight Sukuna, I’ll send you the video files in the morning, okay?”
“Night.” Waving back, Sukuna waited until you hung up to turn his stuff off as well.
In the morning, Sukuna was ready to edit. What usually took him a week to edit out of laziness, he took only a day to edit this video with you together. Rewatching the footage, he nearly gagged at seeing how soft his face got when he looked at you, and most of those parts were left in because he couldn’t stand to watch them and fix them.
(Sukuna): videos up
The next day, he messaged you. Once again Sukuna patrolled the comments, swiftly deleting any that said even a hint of a bad thing about you. There was less this time, what with Sukuna adding a warning at the beginning of the video threatening anyone that talked down at you.
This video, like the first, went viral. But for a much different reason. Since Sukuna was emotionally unable to deal with how sappy he was and edit those parts out, everyone got to see how soft he was for you. If the comments weren’t mean, they were screaming about how you and Sukuna must be dating now, because why else would he look at you and talk to you like that?
And much to Sukuna’s dismay, there were also fancam edits of you two together. Any clippable moment of him being sweet on you in the videos you’d made together along with the photos you’d posted on Instagram were edited together and posted on Twitter. You both were tagged in every single one, making sure Sukuna saw all the videos of you and him together. He saved all of them too, delighting in the way you looked with him with all those pretty filters.
By the end of the day, people were trying to put a ship name together for the two of you and he’s seen you repost a few fancams with cute messages of thanks as well. Seeing you receptive to the fans screaming about the two of you made him happy, even if he was still too nervous to text you about anything outside of Youtube.
As more comments came in, people on Twitter were begging him to do a vlog with you. You had quite a few on your channel, going to cafes or filming what your day or week was like. Sukuna had watched them all and was jealous of every single person that appeared alongside you.
(Y/N): hey I’m doing a live on Instagram if you want to join me! I know people really like us together lol it’ll be great for views
(Sukuna): sure
Did you want him to join now? He’d just gotten out of the shower and thrown on a pair of sweats, he wasn’t exactly decent. But he didn’t want to waste time getting ready only for you to end the live.
“Hi Sukuna!” You smiled and waved when he appeared on the screen.
“Hey.” He waved back, not caring about the angle he was holding the camera in. He saw hearts begin to fill up the screen and comments started to fly by, almost all in caps about the fact he was shirtless talking to you.
“Guys, don’t be weird! Who cares that Sukuna is shirtless?” You tried to stop them, but it was clear you were flustered as well. You weren’t looking at him, peeking at him through the screen a few times.
“God you’re all thirsty as fuck.” Sukuna finally looked at himself on the screen. He was shirtless and in bed, hair slightly damp and tousled on his pillow. Reading a few comments, he shot up. “Of course I’m wearing pants, you nasty fuck!” Storming out of bed, he stood in front of the only mirror in his house that wasn’t in the bathroom and turned the camera around. “See, look!”
“Oh.” Gasping softly, you were glad Sukuna didn’t notice you screenshot the live. Clad in only gray sweatpants, Sukuna’s freshly cleaned skin gleamed in the light of his bedroom and every single muscle and edge of his body was on display.
“There, told you I wasn’t fucking naked.” Rolling his eyes, he flopped back down on the bed. None of the comments had gotten any better, all of them talking about how hot he was and how you were so lucky to know him in real life.
“L-let's talk about something else.” You stammered, not showing your face on camera for a few minutes. Sukuna laughed at the comments teasing you for being embarrassed, agreeing with some of them under his breath.
“So, what the fuck are you all doing here?” Sukuna posed the question at the chat, but at you as well.
“Well before you came everyone was talking about you...and you know how everyone has been begging for us to vlog?” You started off slowly, peeking an eye at his face.
“Yeah?”
“I wanted to call you to ask how you felt about that?” How he felt? Why did you want to know?
“You couldn’t have texted me that?” That wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to say, but it made you chuckle, so it was okay.
“No! I wanted to ask so everyone could know!”
“I don’t mind it.” If you wanted to vlog with him, he would do it in a heartbeat.
“So…” Worrying your lip, you looked off camera for a few seconds before looking directly at Sukuna. “Would you like to be in a vlog with me, at a cafe? It’s outside the city, kind of far, but we can rent a car or-”
“Yes.” Sukuna interrupted, nodding his head quickly. “I’ll come. We don’t have to rent a car, I’ll drive.”
“Really?” The comments were just as shocked as you were. Sukuna never filmed anywhere but his home and the gym, this would be a monumental occasion.
“Did you want me to say no?”
“No!” You screamed immediately, nearly dropping your phone. “I just- I wasn’t expecting you to say yes!”
“Well I did.” Sukuna bit his lip, running a hand through his hair and flexing his arm. “So I guess it’s a date, huh?” His normal asshole confidence was back now that you were appearing through a screen and not right next to him. A surprised sound came from the back of your throat, and you nearly dropped the phone again.
“Y-yeah! A date!” It felt good to have you flustered for once and not Sukuna. Laughing heartily at you, Sukuna smirked at the comments.
“Was that all you wanted to ask me or was there something more?”
“No, that was it!”
“Alright.” Licking his lip and letting his tongue hang out of his mouth a little, Sukuna watched you bite your lip as well. “Well I’m gonna go, I got stuff to do, but I’ll text you later (Y/N).” Dropping his voice as he said goodbye, Sukuna left the livestream.
“Holy fuck.” As soon as his phone was off, Sukuna let out a breath he’d been holding in. His heart was pounding hard despite how confident he was in his actions. Flirting was nothing new to him, but with you it felt different and like he’d never done it before in his life.
He watched the rest of your livestream while he finished getting ready for bed, laughing at the comments still teasing you about getting flustered with him. The notifications for Twitter were going off as well, and he knew for sure that there were new fancams for him to check out later.
(Y/N): Sukuna!! You’re so embarrassing!
Texting him after your stream, your cheeks were still burning at the memory.
(Sukuna): hey, you said it would be good for views and it was
(Y/N): I know…
(Y/N): did you really mean it, about coming with me?
(Sukuna): of course. If I didn’t want to I would have said no
(Y/N): that’s good lol!
There was a lull in conversation, and Sukuna nearly fell asleep waiting for you to either text him again or for him to figure out what to say next.
(Y/N): so, a date huh? Are you going to bring me flowers?
Now he was awake. He didn’t expect you to bring that up again, and his eyes flew open. Sukuna’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, mind going blank on what to say.
(Y/N): lol just kidding! I know you only said that for the stream! I’ll text you later about the details, I’m about to knock out
(Y/N): goodnight :)
Well shit. Now he definitely wanted it to be a date.
#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen scenarios
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AOT/SNK Characters as Youtubers
Characters: Eren, Levi, Sasha & Connie, Mikasa, Armin, Jean
- Let’s be honest here, Eren would be a gamer Youtuber
- He’d rage pretty easily imo if the gaming is intense. Think reactions like GeorgeNotFound when he’s low on health, but like, angrier.
- “NOOOOO! I’LL KILL YOU ALL.” Stuff like that. Takes PVP SERIOUS 🤬
- If he were to play Minecraft, I bet he’d do speedruns all the time just to kill the Ender Dragon over and over again. Also loves those games where you actually influence the outcome (especially if they have a time-traveling aspect)
- I think he’d talk about his philosophy like Pewdiepie sometimes. Kinda just going on about his beliefs
- Some fans do be loco though. In a weird worship way
- No introduction. Boy just starts cleaning and adds soft background music, ASMR-ish
- Like Dream and CORPSE Husband, he wouldn’t show his face whatsoever. They probably want him to reveal his hands because he wears gloves though
- There are tea videos with written reviews and such for every subscriber milestone. Pretty chill and wholesome 🍵
- Finally gives the people what they want and reveals his voice when he explains why his tea is superior to everyone’s. It’d be a livestream where he’d answer questions and talks about wanting to open a tea shop.
- His fans adore him. They give him a ton of money for his tea shop dream, very sweet.
- Only problem I see is that some people may take it too far and dox him :(
- These two would share a channel and you cannot change my mind
- I feel like they’d be the type to do random challenges, vlogs, and food reviews 🥘
- Maybe there’d be one mukkbang at 10 million subscribers. But NOT the American kind where it’s excessive and stuff. They’d do their best to be respectful and traditional to the Korean origins
- Their fans ship them and they finally reveal they started dating
- When they finally marry (I wish this was canon so bad), everyone will rejoice. 💍
- I think Mikasa would have a channel for fitness. She’s - after all - a muscular QUEEN
- She’ll give you those rare compliments in her videos for encouragement and it makes her fans swoon
- Everyone is amazed by her fitness, so I think it’d be like a Chloe Ting type of thing where she takes the fitness world by storm. I stan 🏃🏻♀️
- Helps other Youtubers get fit in challenges, aka mostly Eren
- She gets recognized all the time, and she only minds when they get annoying. Doesn’t want pics tho
- Would probably have a controversy because someone got their butts handed to them for invading her space 😔 no means no
- My baby boy would be that informational channel that somehow makes seemingly boring facts so much better. He posts random things based on his whims and interests. It won’t matter because his passion translates well for the audience
- He LOVES when his fans talk to him about their interests. Baby boi makes fans feel like friends ☺️
- Everyone is shook when he reveals he has a girlfriend by accident. Gee, I wonder whoooo 👀
- A lot of his fan mail will probably be relics of the ocean. I see a lot of sea shells making their way in his PO Box
- Basically a more wholesome version of Mat Pat
- I see Jean making a cooking channel. Like one of those Japanese bento box Youtubers. Love those, really recommend
- A huge milestone video is one dedicated to his mom, with the centerpiece being an omelette to surprise her. Eastern audience would appreciate it the most because we gotta respect our parents and elders (I’m Chinese btw)
- Has a whole series dedicated to eggs like Gordon Ramsay going around the world for eggs lol 🍳
- Made a video for Sasha & Connie’s engagement party because he wanted to surprise them with meat. Now, people want him to collaborate with Levi for a tea party
- When fans see him IRL, they’re surprised by how tall he is. Would probably seem short on camera
- It’s a joke that his fans call him horse face and sexy stallion. But when someone said he should cook horse, HE TOOK THAT PERSONALLY 🐴
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed that! I had some other characters in mind but wanted to see how y’all would like this first :) Tell me if you want more!
#jean kirstein#eren yeager#eren yaegar#mikasa headcanons#aot headcanons#armin headcanons#armin x annie#sasha braus#connie#captain levi#levi attack on titan#snk levi#levi ackerman#mikasa ackerman#attack on titan#shingeki no kyoujin imagine#shingeki no kyojin
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Need You Now
Kuroo Tetsurou x F!Reader
Liquor might help you escape, but it would never get you out from the truth.
The whole house was dark due to how all of the curtains were closed. There's no way moonlight could illuminate the space he was in right now. And it was his intention to do so, to just engulf himself in total darkness.
Occasionally, his phone would light up, blinding him numerous times until he decided to flip the screen towards the surface. The room reeked with alcohol and sweat, like you could find a dead body somewhere in the room.
Bottles scattered all around the floor, some even still have the contains inside, making the liquid dripped down the wooden floor. He didn’t care at all, what he needed was the alcohol to repel the pain away,
To repel all of the memories away.
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
Picture perfect memories Scattered all around the floor
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
“Tetsurou!” You called out to your long time boyfriend, finally arrived in your home country after wandered in another contingent for college. He was standing there near the arrival gate, a flower bouquet in his hand while filming your arrival with his phone.
“That’s my girl,” He whispered near the phone, you were running, ready to engulf yourself in the arms of your beloved, “Look at her, as beautiful as al-”
“TETSU!” You tackled your lovers to the ground, delighted to finally come home, to finally be with him, “I miss you so much!” Kuroo laughed, trying to save his phone and put it in his pocket after turning off the camera.
“I miss you too, kitten.” The nickname rolled from his tongue so smoothly. He held you close, didn’t care anymore about where the two of you were at the moment.
People passed by, some of them smiled and chuckled for the couple, some of them embarrassed and just walked by like they had seen nothing.
The two of you survived the nightmare called long distance relationship for the whole four years. And right now, you were certain that the future would be so much easier with the two of you moving in together.
But then, some relationship works better with space.
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
Another shot of whiskey, Can’t stop looking at the door.
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
His bedroom door opened, and he didn’t even bother to turn his head anymore. Deep down, he knew too well that it would never be you. So what’s the point lifting his hopes up anyway.
“You look like a mess.” The small voice that belonged to his childhood best friend, filled the quiet space, “Have you consumed anything rather than alcohol? It’s disgusting.”
He just snorted, looking for another bottle rather than answering the pro-gamer who was now cleaning up the scattered bottle with his foot.
“I am a mess, Kenma.” He answered matter of factly, “And no, I haven’t consumed anything yet, even water!” He blurted it like he was proud of it.
“She wouldn’t like it,” Kuroo almost gulped down another whiskey, but stopped when his best friend mentioned someone, “You know she never likes to see you drunk, so stop it.”
Kenma really hoped that the bedhead finally out of his antics already. But instead of hearing the bottle being dropped to the ground, he heard a laugh instead, coming from the drunken man.
“What the heck do you know about her?” Kuroo said between the laughed, “She would never care, man. She’s the one who left me.”
Hearing the words rolled out from his lips, Kenma immediately squatted down and punched the wasted man with so much force. Kuroo chuckled bitterly, spitting out the blood from his mouth, “Feisty now, huh?”
“How dare you,” The man that used to be so silent, was now looking at the bed head with rage in his eyes, “How dare you said she was the one who left!” His hand grasped the collar that belonged to his drunken man.
“I said the truth!” Kuroo looked straight into his best friend, challenging him if he dared to punch him once again. But all of a sudden, he slouched down as memories started to appear in his mind. Memories that he tried so hard to escape, “No, please… I don’t want to remember…”
He trembled in a matter of seconds. Kenma could only let go of his grasp as the man in front of him crumbled down like a building without a foundation. He was always like this since two weeks ago.
Kuroo tetsurou has become a mess since you left two weeks ago.
Kuroo’s eyes filled with tears, he smacked his head numerous times with his palms. He tried to forget, he didn’t want to remember anything. All the pain that you gave him, all the sadness that was always washing over him, all of the truth that he was trying so hard to conceal.
It now appeared once again in his mind, haunting him at the back of his mind. He was suffocating, mind filled with your faces,
“P-Phone,” He whispered under his breath. Begging for his best friend to throw his phone at him, “Kenma, my phone.” His voice raised, making the pro-gamer snapped out of his trance.
Kenma stood up, frantically searching for the phone. It was messy all over the room, making the quest to be harder, “Please,”
“I am searching,” His eyes scanned the whole room, and found the phone layed on the bed. He immediately grabbed it, walked toward the whimpering man once again, “Here.”
Kuroo snatched his phone from the grasp, the blinding light from the screen didn’t stop him from scrolling down the phone. Kenma eyed him with curiosity shone in his eyes, wondering what would the man do.
Suddenly, a ringing sound could be heard from the phone. Kuroo waited, and waited, he wanted you to pick up the phone so he could hear your voice once again, reassured and told him that you love him.
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control, And I need you now.
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
“Hello, this is (L/n) (Y/n) speaking~!” He sobbed, to hear your voice even though it’s not in real time, “I am sorry that I couldn’t answer the phone call, it’s not that I am avoiding you, okay?” Your voice sounded so angelic, so gentle and filled with positivity, “It’s because I am busy! Call me back later or leave the message after the beep~! Bye!”
The phone fell towards the ground, he didn’t bother to see if it’s cracked or not, he didn’t mind it at all. It was painful, to lose someone that was very dear in his life, to lose you, the woman that he thought he would spend his life with.
Kenma seated beside him, patting his back as he cried non-stop. Kuroo was crying over something that he could never have anymore. He cherished his relationship for years since high school, the two of you even survived a being apart for four years.
So when he started to live with you, he didn’t know anymore why everything was falling apart.
“I swear you are being so unreasonable right now.” Kuroo snarled at his girlfriend, “It’s just one time! And she’s the one who came at me!”
The two of you were on your way home, today is his birthday, and he wanted to go to the new club downtown. You were not a fan of clubs and discotic, you didn’t even know that he was a fan of it.
It was surprising to know how much his lifestyle changed. Four years was really a long time, but you never thought he would change so much.
“You could push her away, Tetsu.” Your voice was calm, didn’t want to provoke any anger, “But you didn’t, and you even let her grind on your lap.”
“Oh, come on!” He was angry and a little bit tipsy, the fact that he was the one who behind the steering wheel scared you, “What should I do then, your highness? Push her until she falls towards the ground?!”
Your eyes twitched when he gave you the nickname. It was the name that he used every time you said your dislikeness over something that he did. You believe that in a relationship it was alright to share something like that, but he always misunderstood your intention with something else.
“Well, you could just tell her no from the start.” Your voice started to waver, your hand clenched into the seatbelt that you wore, “Hell, Tetsu! You even grabbed her waist like you enjoy it!”
“I DO ENJOY IT!” He was coated by anger at this point, “I do enjoy how she grinds on my lap, it was sexy that you couldn’t even compare.” Shut up, idiot. “Why am I even with someone like you?” I said, shut up!
“Y-You didn’t mean that,” Your voice wavered, couldn’t believe the words that were out from your boyfriend’s lips, “You didn’t mean that, Tetsu… You are drunk, come on, baby…” You touch his shoulder, caressing it a little.
His body tensed up the second your hand fell on his shoulder. You tried to hide your pain away by biting your lips, “Switch with me, please.”
“No,” His eyes still focused on the street, “Stop nagging me, ugh… Why don’t you just give me space for once!” He turned to look at you, and his gaze made you backed away in an instant.
Kuroo Tetsurou used to despise a fight. He would even lower his pride if that meant he didn’t have to go through any anger and dispute. So you didn’t know anymore who was the man beside you right now, eyes blazing with rage as he stared at you.
“Alright,” You fiddled with your own finger, “Pull over, I am going to stay with my friend.”
“Y-You are going to leave me?” He was flabbergasted, never thought that you would really leave him alone.
“You are the one who asked for it, Tetsurou.” It was the truth, he was really the one who asked for it.
So why did he feel like it’s so wrong? Why he feels like he would never get to see your voice again if he pulled over right now.
But he pulled over anyway, swerved the wheel immediately without thinking, making you jolt. He didn’t even say sorry and unlocked the key, never once spare you a glance.
“What’s going on between us, Tetsurou?” You let out a long sigh, the lights from the street keep hitting your face, “We used to be so… Good.” You turned your head towards him, “But why ever since I came home, everything we did will end up with a-”
“Fight,” His gripped on the steering wheel tightened, “We always… Fight.” He turned his head, finally facing you, “What happened to us, (Y/n)? I am questioning that too.”
The truth, both of you didn’t know why everything went downhill once you lived with him. You sometimes questioned his schedule, and he would say things like you were too curious.
Most of the time the two of you having fun, it would end up with both of you screamed on each other's face. You tried to understand what was happening. You really want this six years relationship to work out at the end of the day.
But not every relationship could be saved.
“Let’s just take a break.” You voiced what’s inside your heart, “Let’s take a break, Tetsurou.”
“You… You breaking up with me?” You wanted to say no, you wanted to just force him to switch your seat. But something inside your heart telling you that it needed to stop.
That in this life, not everything could last forever.
“Yes,” No, I still love you, “We are not meant for each other,” I want to keep trying, “Please go home, it’s not your fault, okay?” But I wouldn’t fight for someone who didn’t try too.
You leaned in to kiss his lips. His eyes widened, too shocked to process anything that happened right now. The kiss was fast, but it gave an impact, nagging at his heart as you pulled away.
He was longing for you. He should have said something. He should have screamed for forgiveness and told you that he would do better.
But instead, he let you close the door of the passenger seat. Never once coming back to his life.
“Kuroo, you need to let go.” He was dazed as his mind filled with the thought of you, only you, “Kuroo, it’s not your fault.” Kenma was now standing in front of him, bent down a little to level his head with Kuroo.
“It is my fault, Kenma.” The bed head was now started to sober, “I need a drink,” He remembered something else, something that he didn’t want to remember, “Kenma, I need my drink.”
He pleaded, eyes scanned the room to search for another drink. But he found none, the only thing he could find was some empty bottles. Kuroo was frantic, something told him to drown in alcohol again.
Kenma just let out a long sigh as the broken man stood up, still searching inside his room for a bottle of alcohol, “I am sure I still have it, I am sure, Kenma. I-”
“I emptied all the bottles,” Kuroo jerked his head to his best friend, “I drained it all in the bathroom.”
Alcohol was the only thing that kept him functioning. Because he knew, he knew too well that he couldn’t survive the reality if he was sober.
“W-Why…” He sat at the edge of his bed, putting his hands on his ears, “Why did you do that, Kenma? I couldn’t… I couldn’t…” Tears were streaming down his face once again as something appeared on his mind, “Too painful, I couldn’t do this, it hurts…”
He was a whimpering mess right now, sobbing uncontrollably while he tried to just rip his brains out from his head. He wanted to stop thinking.
“Alcohol is the one who killed you inside, Kuroo.” Kenma walked towards him, “You need to face the truth.” The black haired man only shook his head, “Alcohol is the one who killed your relationship, Kuroo.” Kenma clenched his hand into a fist, his hate towards the liquid was blazing, “And it was the one who killed her.”
You need to let go.
Let go of who?
You need to face the truth.
What truth?
Kuroo looked up to his best friend, he opened up his mouth to say something. He was now sober, and all the memories were hitting him again. The memories, the true memories.
The reason why he wanted to drown in the drunken state over and over again.
“I didn’t mean to do that, Kenma.”
“I know, Kuroo.”
“I didn’t mean to kill her.”
“Let’s just take a break.” You voiced what’s inside your heart, “Let’s take a break, Tetsurou.” With the car stopped to the side already, you decided to take off your seatbelt.
But the sound of it snapped your boyfriend,
“No,” He step on the pedal, making your body jolted as he swerved the car back to the main road, “I love you, and I don’t want this to end. We could work this out.”
“Tetsurou, slow down!” You screamed as he drove with an immense speed, “I love you too! But please, slow down!”
He couldn’t hear you, the only thing that struck inside his mind was you leaving him. He didn’t want to slow down or even stop, he was afraid that you would get out of the car and never once take another look at him.
“Baby, please…” You plead as your eyes look at the traffic light, “Tetsu, dear, slow down!” It was yellow, and your boyfriend didn’t even think about stepping on the brake, “TETSU, WATCH-”
He couldn’t hear your scream, his ears filled with a deafening silent when the airbags knocked him back and sideways. The car tumbled over and over into the street before coming to an absolute stop.
Silence, it scared him more than his own pain. You should be moaning out of pain, calling his name or just emitted something from your lips. He shook his head as his eyes were blurred. He just realized that the car was upside down.
And when his vision was clear, he hoped the deity took his life right now.
There’s no airbags coming out from the passenger seat. You took off your seatbelt before, and too overwhelmed by his drive to even wear it again. The car had flipped too many times, making your whole body disorientated.
It was silent in his world. He couldn’t hear the siren outside and people screaming out. His eyes focused on you, the love of his life, the one person that was always so patient with him.
The one person that was now laying there with eyes empty. Your cheek stained with tears as you looked deep at the man that you adored since high school, the one man that somehow, took your life away.
He couldn’t look away, even when people already helped him to get out from there. When someone tried to pull him out from the car, he felt the tug on his hand.
At the last moment of your life, you decided to grasp his hand, interlaced your small hand with his. Tears started to brimmed on his face when he realised what you did.
You held his hand, making sure that he was alive. You looked at him, making sure that he didn’t blame himself for what might have happened. Then there’s your smile, reassuring him that it was alright.
And when people could finally get him off from the car, his eyes still focused on your figure, noting every single detail that he could collect. One last time.
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
Guess i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all
═══ -ˋˏ *.·:·. 𝅘𝅥𝅮 ♫ .·:·.* ˎˊ- ═══
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Tagged Lovelies:
@letmeshouyou @nitricflame @vventure @heccingdead @muffins-puffins @miyulovestowrite @nanashinanashi @vlovers-world @proplayer-kenma @kashika @cuddlyasahi @blacckdiamondposts @muffngw @baby-boy-taichi @of-heroes-and-dreams @for-ests @giyuwu-san @oli-imagines @lordeofthunder @miyatsunami @pleasantly-hq @benewol @allywritesimagines @tendoustan @iwaixiumi @hihiq @gulfwanq @the-fandom-ness @cosmic-goddess-leo
#kuroo tetsurou x reader#kuroo x reader#kuroo angst#kuroo tetsurou angst#kuroo imagine#kuroo tetsurou imagine#kuroo scenario#kuroo oneshot#haikyuu kuroo#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu angst#haikyuu scenario#haikyuu drabble#nekoma#haikyuu nekoma#kozume kenma
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On a Cold Summer Day
→ summary: Maybe deciding to leave California to attend uni in New York was the dumbest decision you've ever made. It's fucking freezing here! You don't think you can survive without the beach twenty minutes away from your living space. At least you have a native New Yorker Kim Seokjin to help you adjust. Kinda.
→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG-13
→ genre: 70% fluff, 30% crack | college!au
→ warnings: profanity, mentions of sex, implied sex, dating apps lol (tinder & bumble)
→ wordcount: 7.2k
cr.
This is a motherfucking abomination.
They're asking you to come to class on a Monday at 8 in the morning??? What kind of fucking monstrosity was this? You thought college was supposed to be a goodbye to waking up early. Now you have to take your goddamn philo 101 class at the asscrack of dawn (okay, it's not exactly dawn, but still).
It's too early to be discussing Socrates and human ethics and all that head-aching shit. And even worse, it's fucking freezing in New York!
You're what people call the basic SoCal girl. You grew up with palm trees in your backyard. Anything below 80 degrees is enough to make you bring out your winter jackets (which aren't really real jackets either). In fact, your definition of a winter jacket is slipping on a lightweight flannel over your usual tank top.
But now, in New York, damn the weather wasn't kind. You wear a parka to class and when you're waddling about the campus, you look like a giant marshmallow. Honestly, it's a little humiliating.
It hasn't even been a month and you already miss California. God, you miss the sunshine. And also In-N-Out.
The college workload isn't as bad as you anticipated so even after attending your dreaded morning classes, you're left with a sufficient amount of time. You used to spend those extra hours on Tinder, passing left and right on guys with the swipe of your thumb as you drooled over their shirtless profile pictures.
But ever since you met Jungkook—
Ah, Jungkook. He was a very interesting story. How do you start telling this? Hm.
Well, it really started on the first day of college. The moment after you attended orientation, found your dorm, kissed your parents goodbye and said hello to your roommates, you revisited your trust-worthy dating app, Tinder while lounging on your bed. All that professional business on the first day of uni kind of made you horny.
Back in California, you had a few memorable encounters with your Tinder partners that left you blushing and hot-faced for weeks. When your high school besties found out you were moving away from the Golden State to attend NYU, they would not let it go about all the hot NYC men you would be able to, er for the lack of better word choice, bang.
So you were going to listen to them and hook up with a New York guy. And not even twenty seconds into your swiping party on Tinder, you spot him.
His name is Jeon Jungkook. 20. NYU student. Civil Engineering. Hot damn. You had to take a few seconds to stalk his profile before screaming internally and victoriously swiping right. Now you just had to wait until he swipes right on you. If you're lucky, maybe you could get laid tonight.
And lucky you were.
You dressed in a simple outfit (that'd be easy to discard) and met Jungkook at the Shake Shack for a casual date (in which the burgers are not as half as good as the burgers in In-N-Out). After some casual discussion that honestly didn't last too long, he took you back to his rented apartment.
And then you had the worst sex in your life. Not that Jungkook was lacking in the downstairs department, (no, no he was pretty measurable), but apparently he had a roommate that would not fucking shut up for the life of him. It's not a very sexy experience when you hear someone loudly rage quit Minecraft in the room next to you.
But you and Jungkook had both laughed it off. After all, the two of you already really clicked. And on your part, although you didn't quite have the perfect hook up, you found a likable NYC man. You were surely going to see him again.
See him again you did. Jungkook made sure his roommate would be gone this time before the two of you lay down on his couch and began watching some random rom-com. Halfway through, he initiated some making out, which was as perfect as making out could get. Until you muttered something about how "sexy a NYC man is."
Jungkook laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch. The rest of the night was not spent having sex. Instead, the two of you stayed up late talking about your home states, which both happened to be California. You were so excited about meeting another Californian that your horniness completely dissipated.
And from then on, you and Jungkook became close buddies with slight benefits. (You found him to be a better platonic companion than a sexual partner.) Mostly you came to him to rant about New Yorkers, and he would laugh at you, telling you that you would get used to it.
So, that was your story with Jungkook.
Now you're on your way to his apartment with some Shake Shack to-go so the two of you can watch Shark Tank (which you've been dying to see). When you finally reach Jungkook's apartment and knock on his door, to your surprise Jungkook doesn't answer it. Instead, a tall man—a handsome man—stands looking at your rather puzzled face.
He's so unbelievably hot that your breath hitches.
"Hey," the man says, grinning. "JK's girl?"
"I'm single," you blurt out, no doubt making googly eyes at the man in front of you. "I-I brought some Shake Shack," you offer. "Um, Jungkook and I were, like, supposed to hang out..."
"I'm here!" Jungkook's calls from inside the apartment. "Let her in, bitch!"
"Yesterday I was 'motherfucker' and today, I'm 'bitch,' apparently," the Bitch Man says. "I think JK's forgotten my name." When he laughs, you don't know why you feel flustered. "I'm Seokjin," he says, gesturing for you to come into the apartment. "But you can call me Jin. Or any variation. I don't really care. As long as it's not 'bitch.' " Seokjin glares at Jungkook who's snickering in the background.
"O-Okay," you say, stumbling into the apartment and nearly tripping over your own shoes as you place the takeout bag on the kitchen counter.
"Hey, Y/N!" Jungkook says, slapping your back as he greets you merrily as usual. "Long time no see! I have the show on TV already. You ready?"
"Yeah, yeah," you say quickly. "Dude, but like who the fuck is the hottie?" you whisper urgently to your friend. "Like I don't remember you telling me you know someone like that."
"Oh, him?" Jungkook snorts. "That's my roommate."
Your eyes turn wide as you gape open-mouthed at the handsome figure casually lounging on the couch already. "Shut up. He's the fucking Minecraft rage quitter??"
Jungkook laughs. "Yeah. Not so handsome anymore, huh?"
You're still in shock, stuttering to find an answer, but Jungkook laughs at your pathetic attempt, grabbing the Shake Shack bag and dragging you over to the couch.
"Dude, is he like going to hang out with us?" you ask Jungkook in a low whisper, nodding over at Seokjin who was busily using his phone.
"Yeah, I hope you don't mind," Jungkook tells you as he man spreads on the right side of the couch, putting you in the middle of the two men. "His Bumble date canceled on him last minute. So I'm trying to patch up his enormous ego."
"Fuck, of course I don't mind," you hiss at him. "But if you told me earlier, I wouldn't have come here in sweats. Like I thought it was weird that you ordered two burgers, but like I just thought you had a huge appetite today!"
"I think you look hot in sweats."
"Well, thanks." Wait. You freeze. That was definitely not Jungkook's voice. A blush creeps up your cheeks as you turn to your left, only to see Seokjin, gazing at you with friendly eyes and a bright smile. "O-Oh!" you sputter. "T-Thanks, Jin. Sorry, it's just that like, I, uh I take first impressions pretty... um, seriously."
The man on your left laughs out loud. "Y/N, my first impression of you was weeks ago. I heard you and Jungkook through the wall."
Your mouth drops open. "No."
"Yes," Jin insists.
"NO!" you shout, leaning back from Seokjin and squishing Jungkook in the process. "Were you trying to be a loud gamer to drown out our noises?!" you shriek.
"Yes?" Seokjin says so obviously that he even phrases it like it's a question.
"Oh, god," you groan, burying your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. I'm, like, actually so, so sorry."
Jungkook tries hard not to burst out laughing at your humiliation and even Jin can't help but grin.
"It's fine," Seokjin says. "You made it up to me with the burgers!" he exclaims, fishing out his Shake Shack hamburger from the bag and breathing in deeply. "Ahh," he sighs dreamily, "the best hamburger money can buy."
Okay. You have to admit that his perfect New York accent is hot, but you can't just ignore what he had just uttered. "I think In-N-Out has the best hamburger money can buy," you say, crossing your arms over your chest quite authoritatively. You tend to become quite defensive about Californian culture.
Jungkook snickers at how serious you've become in a matter of seconds but he stays silent.
Seokjin looks at you with his eyebrows raised and an amused smile on his lips. "Really?" he says. "You should get used to the Shake Shack then. We don't have In-N-Out around here."
Your mouth drops open for the second time today as you jerk your body around to stare at Jin. "What the fuck do you mean there's no In-N-Out?"
The man shrugs, relaxing back with his burger in hand and grinning at you. "I mean, we do have better burgers at the Shake Shack."
You groan, collapsing back on the couch and staring defeatedly at the bright TV screen. "I miss California."
"Jungkook went through the same thing," Seokjin assures you. You slowly turn your head to look at him. "I helped him assimilate to NYC life. And now look at him! He's so good at acting like a pure-blood New-Yorker that you even called him a 'sexy NYC man!' "
Oh, no. That particular memory sears through your head, leaving you flustered and quite frankly, frustrated.
"What?? How do you even—" you pause to glare at Jungkook who suddenly refuses to look your way. "I can't believe you told him, Jungkook!"
"We're roommates. We tell each other everything," Seokjin proudly says.
"Oh, god," you mutter under your breath.
"Seok's right, though," Jungkook pipes up. "He's the man to go to when you want to get into the NYC spirit! The dude was born and raised here. He knows everything you need to know about New York. Hang out with him a few times and you'll surely have to drop your SoCal girl status."
You huff. "But like I love being a SoCal girl!"
"We'll see how fast that can change," Seokjin grins.
This isn't a date... is it?
Seokjin had offered to take you out to wander about New York and guide you around to sight-see. He'd told you to dress casually, but how casual is New York casual?? You end up wearing a wine-red sleeveless romper and some cute gladiator sandals, which would honestly make you feel underdressed if you walked anywhere around LA like this.
But one step out into the cold night air, your teeth begin to chatter aggressively. Seokjin's already waiting for you outside of your dorm building and he laughs out loud when he sees you shivering violently.
"You sound like a woodpecker," he snorts. "You look cute, by the way."
"T-T-Thanks," you stutter. "Holy shit, Seokjin, how are you in a T-shirt and shorts right now? It's so motherfucking cold, goddammit!"
Jin throws his head to laugh—almost as if you told the funniest joke in the world. Which, you did not. "It's only 70 degrees, Y/N!"
"It is not!" you argue. "Shiver me fucking timbers, it has to be at least thirty degrees. Where's the snow??"
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have worn a sleeveless romper then," Seokjin teases you. "Do you want to go back inside and change?"
"No!" you say. "It's called fashion. Back in California I could wear whatever the fuck I wanted. Like, do you understand that my wardrobe's being limited here??"
Seokjin shrugs, nudging you playfully as he gestures toward the night sky. The brisk air nips at your bare arms and tickles your nose, making you huddle closer to the man next to you. He merely smiles at your action and wraps a warm arm around you. "Welcome to New York, Y/N."
School keeps you busy for a good few months. Meeting up with Jungkook to rant about New York's rat problem and nasty subways while drooling over California's great wonders has become a rarity especially when you're trying hard to maintain your straight-A streak (literally since the day you were born). You haven't even touched Tinder on your phone for a good three months! (And that has nothing to do with the fact that you kinda might have a crush on Kim Seokjin.)
You've been texting him a few times a week (though you've never really gotten to meet up after your first, uh, "date." But the flirty texts he sends you and the promise of meeting up after all of your major exams makes you work twice as hard on your schoolwork. Jin also incessantly teases you about your strange Californian dialect, but you don't mind—especially when you can bag him for replacing every 't' sound with a 'd,' thanks to his New York accent. (He keeps pronouncing 'the' like 'da' and you have to admit, it's a little endearing.)
By the time Thanksgiving Break rolls around, you're deep in the process of organizing your lecture notes so you don't let yourself go out for a whole week.
And when Winter Break rushes in, you and Jungkook take off to California to reunite with family, leaving Seokjin to drown alone in the New York festivity while you and Kook enjoy a hot winter (literally). But the two of you make sure to come back to New York during New Year's to celebrate the iconic ball drop.
"I don't have to watch it on TV anymore!" you had said triumphantly.
When the countdown had signaled a New Year, you weren't lip-locking with either of your friends (but you didn't really mind). Instead, Seokjin had popped a bottle of apple cider (because you and Jungkook couldn't legally drink yet). Jin sipped his own champagne as he watched his younger friends get sugar drunk on apple cider.
All too soon, Winter Break is over. And now's the start of a new semester at NYU, but you already know your classes and professors so you finally let yourself relax. (Jungkook always tells you it's crazy how strongly you radiate work-hard and play-hard energy.)
Yet no matter how long you spend in New York, you just can't get used to it. It must be because you've mostly been stuck inside studying.
The moment you meet up with Jin again, you're brought into the world of New York once more.
"I missed your accent!" you yell as you nearly bulldoze over Seokjin to hug him when he opens the door to his apartment for you.
"Wow. You didn't miss me?" he jokes as he embraces you, tugging you into his apartment and closing the door behind you. "I thought you'd be happier to see me and not hear my insanely hot accent."
"Keep talking, please," you giggle, burying your face against his chest.
"You have no shame, Y/N," Seokjin sighs, but he lets you cling onto him as he waddles backward and towards the small living space with the TV set in it. "JK's out on Tinder date so the apartment is for us," he tells you as he practically throws you on the couch. "What do you wanna do?"
You huff, straightening up your clothes and glaring at Jin for tossing you. "I appreciate it. Like I'm totally not a fragile package," you mutter sarcastically. "I don't know. I guess we can, like, do anything. Are you in the mood of staying in..? Or, like, do you wanna go out?"
"Hmmm," Seokjin pretends to think. He collapses on the couch next to you, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on his face. "How about we go out?" he says. "You've been cramped up in your dorm room for so long, I think you need fresh air."
"It's like you can read my fucking mind," you grin. "Where to?"
"We're going to get some New York-style pies!"
"Oh, shit," you say. "I love pies."
Apple pie, blueberry pie, key lime pie... Fuck, I'm practically salivating already.
Seokjin winks at you, hoisting you up on your feet and marching toward the apartment door. "Pies, here we come!"
"I fucking thought we were getting pies, Seokjin. Like, dude. This is a pizza parlor," you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.
"Oh, Y/N," Seokjin laughs, ruffling your hair with affection, but when you glare daggers into him, he stops with a nervous chuckle. "Well, we New Yorkers call whole pizzas, pies. It makes more sense that way."
You nearly rip out your hair. "How does that make sense? Pizza and pie are two completely different things! What do you call your pies then??"
"We call them pies!"
"Huh??"
"Whatever," Seokjin snorts. "You need to get used to all of this New Yorker dialect and slang," he says, nudging you. "What do you want on your pizza pie? I'm getting a whole one so JK can have the leftovers."
"Um, I usually get cheese, mushrooms, goat cheese and oregano," you say. "But, like, I'll take anything except pineapples. Pineapples on pizza is a fucking sin."
Jin gasps loudly, putting a hand on his heart. "I always put pineapples on my pies!"
"Oh no. Don't tell me you're one of those people," you groan. "Come on, Jin, I thought you knew better! Like I swear, it's a New Yorker thing—"
"Don't you try to put the blame on New York!" Jin says. "Besides, JK likes pineapples on his pizza pies too, so maybe you're the weird one."
"God, not Kook too."
"Well, we'll get half with pineapples and half without," Seokjin compromises. "How does that sound?"
"Abominable," you mutter under your breath. If there are pineapples anywhere on the pizza, every slice will still have that disgusting tangy taste to it.
"Sorry?"
"I-I mean, that sounds great!" you feign an over-enthused look on your face as you pump your fist in the air. "But you're paying."
Seokjin rolls his eyes but agrees.
And the rest of the time spent goes rather smoothly. The two of you poke fun at each other as usual, and you only mildly get offended when Seokjin pulls the:
"Hey, Y/N?"
"Mm?" you say with your mouth stuffed with pizza (you never thought New York-style pizza could beat the Californian-style but here you are).
"I need to ask you one more thing before we wrap up and I walk you to your dorm," he says, handing you a napkin when you finally swallow your food.
"Thanks," you say. "Ask away."
"I've always wondered," Seokjin says as he leans forward, resting his chin on his upright hand, "why do you excessively say the word, 'like?' "
You let out an unflattering yelp, almost choking on your own spit. Quickly, you take a sip of your ice-cold water to ease the scratchiness of your throat. "Like, what do you mean?" you manage to choke out after an embarrassingly awkward pause.
"I mean, I'm just curious why you say 'like' every five seconds," Jin says, cocking his head. "Is it a SoCal thing? Or a Y/N thing?"
"It is not a Y/N thing! Like a lot of other girls do this, I swear. And it's not like I wanna say it," you huff. "I guess it's like this kind of habit that I, like, can't really get rid of. I dunno. I've heard it was a SoCal thing, but like I'm not too sure."
"Five," Seokjin says.
"What?"
"You said 'like' five times in approximately fifteen seconds," Jin says. "That's about one 'like' every three seconds. That's quite a lot. And I take back my previous hypothesis in which I said you said 'like' every five seconds. I guess it was three."
"I literally hate you!" you scoff. "When did you get all mathematician with me?"
"Since I applied to NYU as a compsci major," Seokjin answers, "which was about three years ago."
You huff. "Whatever I'm gonna major in, I hope it's not related to math."
"Come to think of it," Jin hums, "I never got to know your major." He brushes the pizza crumbs off from his hands and stands up to toss the used napkins away in a nearby trash can.
You stand up as well, taking up the pizza box as Seokjin guides you out of the pizza parlor. "I'm undecided," you tell him. "Like I really don't know what I want to do."
"Well, you're an undergrad, so you'll find something you'll like soon," Jin assures you. "You've got time."
"Thanks," you smile. "Honestly, you're the GOAT."
"Excuse me, I'm a what?" Seokjin looks mildly offended.
"The GOAT?" you say. "You're not even in your thirties yet, keep up!"
"A goat??" Jin bellows. "A fucking barn animal??"
You want to facepalm but your hands are occupied with the pizza box. "The Greatest Of All Time???" When Seokjin still looks puzzled, you shake your head, "Might wanna check out Twitter now and then, old man."
"Maybe that's a California thing!" Jin protests. "It's totally a California thing. I mean, look, Y/N, New Yorkers aren't that crazy to go around calling people barn animals."
"New Yorkers are definitely crazier than Californians," you say. "Oh, and we have to cross the street soon, my dorm's close."
"No way in hell we're crazier than you," Seokjin snorts. "C'mon we can cross the street here."
The here that Seokjin's refers to is a street full of cars and no pedestrian crossing. "Are you really suggesting that we jaywalk?" you say incredulously. "This just proves my point further!"
"What?? Jaywalking is normal," he argues. "Plus, it saves time. We New Yorkers are busy!"
"Puh-lease," you say. "You won't be so busy when you're dead," you point out. "There was this girl who went to my high school, right? And like one day we all heard that she died after some stupid car hit her when she was jaywalking. Dude, her boyfriend's still mourning her death. I think his name was Taehyun. Or Daehyung. Or Taehyung? I don't remember. But my point is," you pause dramatically, "that I don't want to die so we should not jaywalk."
"Californians are way too laid back," Seokjin sighs. "Fine!" He throws his hands into the air. "We'll find a crosswalk, then. I'll spare your life."
You giggle, nudging him to the side. "Thank you. Chivalry is not dead."
"Shivering is definitely not dead either," Jin jokes. "It's only sixty degrees, Y/N. And you're wearing a whole coat! Do you really need me to give you my jacket?"
"Oh shut up," you say, hugging the warm pizza box closer to your chest. "New York at night is freezing. Like I still haven't gotten used to it. And no, I don't need your jacket," you scoff, upturning your nose away from Jin.
"Fine, but if you become a frozen popsicle, I'm selling you off to a museum."
"Wow," you deadpan. "I rescind what I said earlier. You are not the GOAT. You are the WOAT."
"I don't have to be a genius to understand what that acronym is," Jin snorts. "And I am not the worst of all time. That's Jungkook. You know, he brought in his Tinder date again yesterday and they've been really, really loud in the bedroom. I can't fucking sleep."
"Oh, poor Jinnie," you coo. "What are you gonna do?"
"I just blasted the Baby Shark song yesterday on my speaker and they stopped on their own," he shrugs. "It's an instant turn-off, apparently."
"That's evil!" you cry. "But so genius."
"I know, I know," Jin laughs. "Any more song suggestions to prevent Jungkook from banging at the craziest hours of the night?"
"Hm..." you say. "What about the Winx Club theme song? Or the Pokémon theme song? Or, oh my god, like what about the Sofia the First theme song???"
"What the fuck are the Winx Club and Sofia the First?" Jin says.
"No way," you say, shivering slightly when a gust of wind decides to torment you and your hair. Pulling the strands of your hair from your mouth, you yell, "You're missing out! I grew up with the Winx Club! And I only watched Sofia the First because my younger sister liked it so much."
"You have a younger sister?" Seokjin asks. "Well, figures. I'm an only child so the only things I watched as a kid were Transformers and the Avengers." He snorts. "Maybe a little bit of Pokémon."
"Dude, I could name all 151 Pokémon from Generation I," you say. "I was obsessed."
"Oh yeah? I can name all 807!" Seokjin declares. "Every one of them from Generation I to VII."
"God, you have me beat," you giggle, shrugging your shoulders. “I thought you watched only a little bit of Pokémon!”
“Maybe I just have a fantastic memory,” Seokjin teases.
You roll your eyes, though you’re grinning uncontrollably. Sighing, you turn to a stop in front of your dorm building, holding out the pizza box for Jin to take. "Oh, wow, what do you know? We're already here."
"That went by quickly," Jin laughs, taking the pizza box. "Time always flies quickly with you."
You don't know if he really meant the last part, but you blush an embarrassing color of fire-engine red of which you hope he can't see because of the darkness.
"I agree," you admit. "I had fun. And thanks for the pizza. New York-style reigns over what I'm used to back in California."
"No problem," Seokjin grins fondly at you. "Guess I'll see you around?"
"Yeah," you smile. "Just text me whenever Jungkook's being too loud on his sexscapades. I'll send some good turn-off music recommendations like right away!"
Seokjin laughs, nodding his head in agreement. "I can't wait."
I can't wait either.
Your crush on Seokjin literally amplifies by tenfolds every time you hang out with him, which is quite often these days.
One "date" with Jin had turned into two. Two turned into three. Then, five, then eight. Now you're seventeen "dates" in, you and Jin have yet to define your relationship with each other. But you suppose you don't mind.
It isn't very often that you're so emotionally attracted to someone. I mean, how long has it been since I liked someone before I had sex with them??
But your relationship with Seokjin is special, and you're willing to drag on these "dates" (at least you hope they're dates) if it means that you and he will eventually become a couple. Unless Seokjin's not attracted to you in that way.
But that's crazy. Who isn't attracted to you in that way?? Okay, maybe a lot of guys. But you've always had a sixth sense when it came to men! Usually, you crush on the same ones that like you back. So maybe something could really blossom out of your current relationship with Kim Seokjin.
Unless he friendzoned you the moment he heard you have sex with Jungkook.
You are in quite a dilemma.
Two weeks later, your dilemma has extended from your love life to your academic life. There is pressure from your parents and peers to choose a major—especially since you've already lasted one semester in college already.
You have to start studying for the final exams as well. And everything is driving you nuts.
You've always considered going to med school, but law school doesn't sound so bad either. You have to choose your majors according to what job you want to have in the future, but you don't know what you want to do at all! You're just really good at doing what you're given to do. So, honestly, if someone pulled a random major from a hat, you could probably take it and do something with it.
Hm. That idea doesn't sound that bad.
You end up FaceTiming Seokjin for guidance.
"Well, you look like you haven't gotten sleep," he comments when he sees your dark circles and frenzied hair.
"I need to choose a major," you tell him immediately. "Like, right now. In the next twenty minutes or I'm going to blow."
"Oh, shit. How can I help?"
"Okay, so I made this huge list of NYU's majors and like all you have to do is randomly scroll through the list and pick one!" you say. "Easy! Whatever you pick, I'll do it!"
Seokjin scrunches his face. "I don't think that's a good idea, Y/N. What if I pick something insane? Like bagpiping? Or mining?"
You roll your eyes. "I don't think NYU even has those majors. C'mon pick one, hurry up! I'll close my eyes. Tell me when you're done."
Seokjin looks at the long list of majors you had sent him, shaking his head at you in disbelief. He doesn't want you potentially ruining your future because he picked a shitty major for you. And you looked pretty serious about this idea too. As if the moment Seokjin chose a major, you'd pick it and run with it.
Jin's not going to jeopardize your future like that. He doesn't even have to look at the list to declare what he thinks would be best for you. (And besides, if you didn't like it, you could always change majors... And if you couldn't change majors, you can't really blame it on him because you made him choose randomly. So it would be your fault. So either way he's immune!)
"I landed on business management," Seokjin says. "You can open your eyes."
Your eyes are wide the moment you open them. "Management?" you gasp. For a second, Seokjin thinks you're going to throw a tantrum, but a huge grin erupts on your face. "Oh my god! Management! Why didn't I think of that before?? It's perfect! Thank you, Jin! Thank you so much! You're literally fucking magical."
Seokjin's almost taken aback by your positive response but he plays along with it rather coolly. "I am pretty fucking magical. You're welcome."
"You just reduced my stress levels by fifty percent," you say, sighing as you fall back on your bed. "I still have to study for all my final exams... Not very fun... You know, back in California, if I ever felt stressed out or something, I'd, like, drive to the beach for a fun day with friends."
Seokjin cracks a smile. "Yeah, well we have sewage water here in New York. You can swim in there if you miss the beach so much."
"Sounds appetizing," you deadpan. "One day, I'm going to take you to SoCal and show you the beaches."
"That honestly sounds great, Y/N," Jin says. "Never been to the beach before."
Your jaw drops open in shock. "No fucking way, Jin. No fucking way."
"Well, you never saw snow before until you came to New York," Jin points out.
"Yikes," you mutter. "Touché."
Seokjin smiles fondly at you before shaking out of his little reverie. "Hey, you have to study, right? I'll stop bothering you."
"Oh, please," you laugh. "You're not bothering me. I feel even better now. Not even a beach trip could elate me to this extent."
And it's true. Just talking to Seokjin for a few minutes dissipates all of your pent-up stress. And you have one less problem to worry about—you finally have an idea about what major you want to pursue! Seokjin is a walking miracle.
Maybe after your exams, you'll have to ask him out on an official date. If you don't chicken out, that is.
It is officially summer!
You've maintained your straight A's, have finally decided your major and even found a part-time job at a local thrift shop. Life is great.
It would've been better though if one, it wasn't so fucking cold during May and two if you were dating Seokjin.
Jungkook's been teasing you about how head-over-heels whipped you are for Jin, but you threaten to hack into JK's Tinder account and lock an unflattering photo of him on his profile picture whenever his teasing becomes extremely annoying. It's so strange that you've been stuck on one crush for nearly eight months now since usually, you have a new 'boy toy' every other week.
Seokjin is special.
So special that you literally gave up your hookups. And sex. You also deleted your Tinder account. You are serious about this man.
There's something about him that makes your insides twist in a funny way and your heart feel warm and fuzzy whenever he texts you. Have you mentioned how attentive to your needs he is? The man's a genius gift-giver! On your birthday (April 4th), he bought you an embroidered double-sided jacket that not only made a bold fashion statement but also kept you warm in the abominable New York weather.
God, you might even love this man.
You should confess to him soon before some other girl snatches him. But it seems as if Seokjin has stopped going on dates, and the only girl he actively hangs out with is you. (You had to ask Jungkook to figure that out.)
So maybe you have a chance.
And today is the day to act upon it.
Seokjin promised to take you out on a walk around Central Park after you finished your shift at the thrift shop. He's eagerly waiting with a warm cup of hot chocolate for you by the time you're finished.
"Hey!" you say, beaming. "Thanks for the drink."
"No problem," Seokjin answers, winking at you before sipping his own ice coffee. "Central Park's about forty minutes away from here. Are you up for the walk?"
"I walked around a lot in California so maybe I should ask you if you're up for the walk," you smile, strutting out of the shop with Jin quickly at your heels.
"Where's there to walk in California??" he asks when he catches up to you.
"Oh my god, Jin. You're forgetting about all the cool shit in LA!" you say. "I walked to Urth Cafe like every day after school with my friends. And then like we'd have these photoshoots on Melrose Avenue... Man, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I went to UCLA."
"You got accepted into UCLA??"
"Yeah," you say sheepishly. "I'm kind of glad I didn't go, though." You would’ve never met Seokjin.
"Oh?" Seokjin laughs. "Are you finally getting accustomed to New York, then?"
"No way," you say, shaking your head fervidly. "Dude, do you not see the jacket I'm wearing right now? It's freezing! And you're wearing a short-sleeve shirt!"
"It's the jacket I bought you!" Jin exclaims, smiling. "Well, the weather here's something you gotta get used to. By the time you graduate, though, you'll be fine."
"I hope so," you say. "I really, really hope so."
"But I mean, other than the weather situation, I feel like New York is your home now," Jin says. "You like the people here, at least, right?" He bats his eyelashes flirtatiously and you roll your eyes, though the butterflies in your stomach wake up from their slumber. "How have your Tinder dates been?"
"Oh, uh..." You awkwardly scratch your head. "I deleted my account."
Seokjin laughs out loud. "Oh no! Were the New York guys not cutting it??"
You flush, biting your lip and twiddling with your fingers. He kinda put you on the spot, here. Maybe you should come clean now...? You originally planned to confess at Central Park, but maybe it’s smarter to confess earlier. (That way, if he feels the same you two can have your official first date at Central Park. And if he doesn't feel the same way, the two of you can go home before visiting Central Park to avoid awkwardness. It's a master plan!)
"Well, I wouldn't know," you shrug coolly. "The only New York guy I had sex with turned out to be a Californian dude in disguise," you giggle. "And... I just didn't find the need to get with other guys."
"Oh?" Seokjin smiles amusedly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Like, I don't know," you sigh. Your head is jumbled with words you've recited and also the words that you just thought of to string together. Your chest feels heavy and your stomach twists in knots but you force yourself to follow through. With a deep breath you let it all out: "I guess like I've had a teensy weensy crush on you since like the moment we met," you start slowly, carefully. "And I'd uh, I'd like to officially date you, if you, like, feel the same way as me..." you trail off, looking at Seokjin to figure out if his initial reaction would give away his true feelings toward you.
But to your utmost relief, he grins. That's a good sign—it has to be!
"Y/N..." he smiles. "Five. Again! In twenty seconds this time! One 'like' in every four seconds. You're slowly getting rid of your SoCal dialect, look at that!"
When Seokjin sees the unamused look on your face, he throws his head back and laughs. "I was just teasing you, love," he says. "You know, I deleted Bumble the day I met you in person?"
"Really?" you squeal, turning to Jin with such high velocity that you almost spill your hot chocolate. Your insides melt, and your head repeatedly echoes the way he had called you 'love.' You feel faint.
"Yeah," Jin says. "So we're official, aren't we?"
"Hell yes!" you say.
"Our first date is at Central Park," Jin laughs. "This was the best timing ever. It's even in the summer. You know, when everyone scrambles to find love. We don't have to look anymore!"
You snort, linking your arms together and leaning onto Seokjin—who just now became your boyfriend. "I still can't fucking believe it's summer," you sigh, shaking your head. "Like dude, it's so fucking cold that I'm drinking hot chocolate!"
"Oh!" Seokjin exclaims. "Right! The hot chocolate?"
"What?"
"Open the lid, please," he grins. "A pleasant surprise will be waiting for you."
Carefully, you do as he says, only to find the white cream on the hot chocolate to be shaped into a sort-of mangled heart. You gasp, staring at the heart in utter shock. "Were you going to ask me out today??"
"You beat me to it," Jin laughs. "Saved me the trouble, love."
The butterflies in your stomach flutter about every time he calls you that (which was only two times so far, but still).
"We're really meant to be, then," you giggle.
"Like, we really are."
Seokjin taught you many things. How to be a good New Yorker without even being a native. How to hail a taxi gracefully. How to get a seat on the Subway. How to order the best pizza pie ever. And most of all, he taught you commitment.
Never have you been this committed to a man in all your life. That being said, you've only lived for nineteen years. But then again, it's hard to change your habits of being finicky with guys in your high school years. Yet they're changed now.
You've said goodbye to Tinder, to hookups, to meaningless sex. You've said hello to your boyfriend, to continue your pursuit of business management, to navigate around New York.
July becomes your favorite month quite easily when you realize it is possible for New York to have hot weather too. You bring out your short skirts and tank tops and have a fashion show every day choosing which outfits to wear. (Seokjin becomes your personal outfit-picker against his will.)
You have to say, New York isn't so bad. You haven't really missed California at all for a while.
"You know," you tell your boyfriend as he braids your hair for you so you can complete your outfit of the day with a stylish, “effortless” side braid.
"Hm?" Jin answers, his tongue peeking out of his lips from hard concentration.
"I think I'm getting used to this place," you say, turning around to smile at your boyfriend.
Seokjin laughs, tying your braid in place before leaning in to kiss your lips. "Finally!" he says between small pecks. "It took you awhile."
"Oh, come on. It didn't take me that long. It hasn't even been a year yet!" you protest. "I love New York. Honestly!"
Your boyfriend smiles. "When do you think you'll start to talk in a New York accent?"
"Never!" you say. "I'm keeping my 'likes' and 'dudes,' thank you! I have to keep some part of my Californian self."
"Oh, trust me," Seokjin snorts. "You will never lose the fashion-crazed part of you. Please don't make me fly on a plane to go to Coachella."
"Damn, you know me too well," you huff. "Fine. No Coachella. But I want to take you down Hollywood one day. Or at least Urth Cafe. No, holy shit, I need to take you to the beach! Or In-N-Out! There are so many places to go in LA! I'll be the best tour guide ever, Jin!"
"Aw, love," Seokjin says, nuzzling your nose against his. "I can't wait for my tour in the Golden State with my native Californian girlfriend."
"I can't wait either!" you giggle, kissing his lips while placing your hands against his soft cheeks. "I had the wonderful experience of getting my own, personal native New Yorker tour guide, so it's only fair I let you on a tour around my home state too!"
"We'll go during winter break, how's that?" Seokjin says. "We can celebrate Christmas in California."
You grin. "It'll be a tropical Christmas. You up for that?"
"I'm down!" Seokjin says. "I've never lived through a hot winter before. I'll have to see all the rave about California myself."
You wink at him. "You'll love it. Like, really, really love it."
"If I don't, you have to try pineapple pizza pie," Seokjin says. "Bet."
"Oh, you're on!"
All too soon, summer is over and the fall season creeps upon you and the rest of New York City. The freezin' season is back and ready to haunt you and turn your mornings into motherfucking abominations.
Except, it's not as cold as you last remember it. Maybe this year's winter in New York will be warmer for whatever reason. Or maybe it's because Seokjin always does a great job of keeping you warm when it's cold. (You definitely think the latter is the true answer.)
Because with Seokjin, even waking up on Mondays at 8 in the cold fucking morning isn't so abominable after all.
masterlist
#ficswithluv#btswritersnet#btswriterscollective#bangtanfairygarden#btswritingcafe#seokjin#jin#kim seokjin#jin imagine#jin fanfic#jin fanfiction#bts#bts fanfiction#i fucking researched pizza for this fic#who the fuck researches pizza#apparently ME#FOR#THIS#FIC#on a cold summer day#oacsd
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2020 Recap - My Year in Gaming
2020. What a year for video games. I had big plans for last year, but in the end I did very little besides play video games, and I don’t think I’m alone there since we were all stuck at home looking for a way out of reality. I wanted to do a year-end recap as I’ve done sporadically in past years, but this one will be different than the typical “Games of the Year” format because despite all the games I played in 2020, almost none of them came out in 2020, and some of the things that defined my year in gaming weren't even games.
Resident Evil 3 Remake (PS4)
RE3 was one of the only games I played in 2020 that didn’t coincide with the deadly pandemic's spread across the US. RE3 is, of course, a game about the spread of a deadly virus in Anytown, USA. It was an appetizer, I guess.
When the Resident Evil 2 remake dropped in 2019, there were some things I loved about it, and a few things that felt like steps back from the original. I feel much the same about RE3. I had also theorized that a Resident Evil 3 remake would be better off as RE2 DLC than as a separate full-length game, and considering how short RE3 turned out, with some of the best sections of hte original cut entirely (namely, the clock tower), I stand by my theory.
Oh well, at least Jill gets this rad gun, which for the time being is the closest thing to a new Lost Planet we can hope for anytime soon.
Sekiro (PS4)
Sekiro is the first video game I ever Platinumed. This is partly because conquering the base game was such a spartan exercise that going the extra mile to get the Platinum didn’t seem so bad, but it’s also surely a result of the pandemic. I needed a project and a big win. Who didn't?
I wrote at length about why I like Sekiro more than every other modern FromSoft game, and also about the game’s cherry-on-top moment that reminded me of blowing up Hitler’s face in Bionic Commando. Please read them!
Death Stranding (PS4)
Release date notwithstanding, this was obviously the Game of 2020. I wrote about it here, here, and here. This game bears the distinction of being the second one I ever Platinumed. It took 150 hours. Only then did I learn I had a hoverboard.
Streets of Rage 4 (PS4)
This is the only 2020 game I played for more than a few hours. In fact, I cleared the entire game at least five times. I still don’t think it captures the gritty aesthetic of the prior Streets of Rages (nor even tries to), but this is probably the best-feeling bup I've played. Huge bonus points for finally bringing back Adam, but in the end I found it hard not to pick Blaze every time.
Blaster Master Zero 2 (Switch)
What impressed me about this sequel from Inti Creates was that it wasn’t just more of the same, even though that would've been fine. BMZ2 builds on its already excellent predecessor with a catchy new format where players can freely cruise the cosmos and stages take the varied form of planets—some big and sprawling, others short and sweet. Hopping at will from planet to planet without ever knowing what experiences and treasure each one held felt like system jumping in No Man’s Sky and island hopping in The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, both of which felt like opening presents.
Dragon Force (Saturn)
Charming, satisfying, and addictive as a bag of chips. Unlike a bag of chips, when it’s over, you can do it all again. And again. And it’ll be different each time! This might be the first strategy game I've truly loved. Better late than never.
The PC Engine Mini
The PC Engine/TurboGrafx-16 Mini seems a particularly justifiable mini-console for people outside Japan because so many missed these consoles entirely, the games are hard to obtain, and the lineup includes titles spanning the entire convoluted Turbo/PC Engine ecosystem—the TurboGrafx-CD/CD-ROM², Super CD-ROM², Arcade CD-ROM² and SuperGrafx, in addition to plain, old standard HuCard games. I myself didn’t know the first thing about these systems before. It’s like reliving the nineties again for the first time.
Most of the titles included are simple action games that don't require a command of Japanese, but make no mistake: being able to understand Snatcher and TokiMemo does make me feel like an elite special person worth more than many of you.
(Side note: From a gender representation perspective, the difference between Snatcher and Death Stranding is stark. Virtually every interaction with every woman or girl in Snatcher is decorated with ways to sexually harass her. Guess someone finally had a conversation with our favorite auteur.)
A Gaming PC
I’d threatened to transition to PC gaming for years after beholding the framerate difference between the console and PC versions of DmC in 2012, and last July I finally took the leap, buying an ASUS “Republic of Gamers” (ugh) laptop with an NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2070 Max-Q GPU. It seems like consoles are getting more PC-like all the time, especially with all these half-step iterations that splinter performance and sometimes even the feature set (à la the New 3DS and Switch Lite), so with the impending new generation seemed like a fine time to change course.
In the half-year since, I’ve barely played a single PC game more recent than 2013, but just replaying PS3-era games at high settings has been like rediscovering them for the first time.
I also finally experienced keyboard-and-mouse shooting and understand now why PC gamers think they're better than everyone else. Max Payne is a completely different game with a mouse. Are all shooters like this??
The USPS
Early in the year, I rediscovered my childhood game shop, Starland, which is now an online hub known as eStarland.com with a brick-and-mortar showroom. To my delight, it has become one of the best and most modestly priced sources for import Saturn games in the country, and I scored Shining Force III’s second and third episodes, long missing from my collection, for a mere ten bucks each!
In June, I treated myself to a trio of Saturn imports from eStarland: the tactics-meets-dating-sim mashup Sakura Taisen 2, the nicely presented RTS space opera Quo Vadis 2, and beloved gothic dungeon crawler Baroque. Miraculously, this haul amounted to just around thirty dollars total. Less miraculously, they never arrived. This was the second time I’d had something lost in the mail in my entire life, and also the second time that month. Something was wrong with the USPS, and it wasn’t just COVID pains. We would soon learn Trump had been actively working to sabotage one of the nation’s oldest and most reliable institutions in a plot to compromise the upcoming presidential election.
Frankly it’s a miracle there’s still such a thing as “delivery” at all, and a few missing video games is the last of my worries considering what caused it, but nevertheless this was an experience in my gaming life that could not have happened any other year. I won’t forget it.
*By the way, USPS reimbursed me for the insured value of the missing order, which was fifty bucks. So I actually profited a little off the experience.
Mega Everdrive Pro
I love collecting for the Genesis and Mega Drive, but I will not pay hundreds of dollars for a video game that retailed for about sixty. The publishers never asked for that, and the developers won’t see a (ragna)cent of the money. I'm also far less inclined to start collecting for Sega CD, since the hardware is notoriously breakable, the cases are huge and also breakable, and the library just isn't that good.
Still, I'd been increasingly curious about the add-on as an interesting piece of Sega history, so when I learned Ukranian mad scientist KRIKzz had released a new Mega Everdrive that doubled as a Sega CD FPGA, I finally took the plunge into the world of flash carts. This has proven a great way to play some of the Mega Drive’s big-ticket rarities I will never buy—namely shmups like Advanced Busterhawk Gley Lancer and Eliminate Down—as well as try out prospective additions to the collection. I never would have discovered the phenomenal marvel of engineering and synth composition that is Star Cruiser without this thing, but now that I have, it’s high on the shopping list.
The Mega Everdrive Pro is functionally nearly identical to TerraOnion’s “Mega SD” cartridge, but slightly less expensive, comes in a “normal” cartridge shell instead of the larger Virtua Racing-style one, and supports a single hardworking dude in Ukraine rather than a company with reportedly iffy customer service.
Twitch
Getting a PC also resolved issues that had long prevented me from achieving a real streaming setup, and much of my gaming life in 2020 was about ramping up my streaming efforts. I even made Affiliate in about a month. Streaming has been a great creative outlet and distraction, as well as a way to connect with other people during the COVID depression and structure my gaming time. Find me every Monday through Thursday 8-11pm Eastern at twitch.tv/lacquerware.
Metroid: Other M (Dolphin)
PC ownership also gave me access to the versatile Dolphin emulator, liberating a handful of great Wii exclusives from their disposable battery-powered prison.
One of the Wii games I fired up on Dolphin was Metroid: Other M, a game I’d always wanted to try but had been dissuaded by years of bad publicity and the fact that I never had any goddamn batteries. I know I should temper what I’m about to say by acknowledging that I was playing at 1080p/60fps on a PS4 controller so my experience was automatically a vast improvement over that of all Wii players, but I’m increasingly confident Metroid: Other M was the most fun I’ve ever had playing a Metroid game. I haven’t decided yet if I’m willing to die on this hill, but I will just say that if you like the Metroidvania genre in general and aren’t particularly attached to the Metroid series’ story or its habit of making you wander aimlessly for hours, there’s a very high chance you will enjoy Other M—especially if you play it on Dolphin.
Don't Starve Together (PC)
Don't Starve is the only game my friend Jason plays, so last year I tried to get into it with him. I respect this game's singular devotion to the concept of survival, but make no mistake: every session of Don't Starve ends with you starving to death. Or freezing. Or getting stomped by a giant deity of the forest. The entire game is staving off death until it inevitably comes. Even when death comes, you can revive infinitely (in whatever mode we were playing), which means even death is not an end goal. There is no end goal. You don't even have the leeway to "play" and create your own meaning as you do in similarly zen games like Dead Rising.
Don't Starve is a game for people for whom hard work is the ultimate reward in and of itself. Don't Starve told me something about Jason.
G-Darius (PS1)
In the early fall, Sony announced they were dropping PS3, PSP, and Vita support from the browser and mobile versions of their PSN Store, and since the PS3 version of the store app runs like a solar-powered parking meter in Seattle, I decided this was my last chance to stock up on Japanese PSN gems.
Among my final haul, the PS1 port of G-Darius proved an instant favorite. Take down the usual cast of mechanized fish in a vibrant, chunky, low-poly style that perfectly inhabits the constraints of the original PlayStation hardware. I believe this is the first Darius game that lets you get into giant beam duels with the bosses, which is quite definitely one of the coolest things a video game has ever let you do. The PS1 port is also surprisingly feature-rich, including some easier difficulty levels that present an actually surmountable challenge for non-savants.
This one’s coming to the upcoming Darius Cozmic Revelation collection on Switch alongside DARIUSBURST, a good-ass romp in its own right.
Red Entertainment
In my effort to shine a tiny spotlight on some of the unsung Interesting Games of gaming, I found myself drawn again and again to the work of Red Entertainment. First there were cavechild headbutt simulator Bonk’s Adventure and twin shmups Gates of Thunder and Lords of Thunder on the PC Engine Mini. Then I streamed full playthroughs of the PS2’s best samurai-era, off-brand 3D Castlevania, Blood Will Tell and the Trigun-adjacent stand-‘n-gun, Gungrave: Overdose. Then I was dazzled by Bonk’s Adventure’s futuristic spin-off cute-‘em-up, Air Zonk, which was also sneakily tucked away on my PC Engine Mini in the “TurboGrafx-16” section. It turned out all these games were made by the same miracle developer responsible for Bujingai, the stylish PS2 wushu game starring Gackt and a household name here at the Lacquerware estate. How prolific can one team be???
Month of Cyberpunk
In November, I started toying with the idea of themed months on my Twitch channel with “Cyberpunk month.” It was supposed to be a build-up to Cyberpunk 2077’s highly anticipated November release, but holy shit that didn’t happen, did it? Still, I always find myself gravitating toward this genre in November, I guess because I associate November with gloom (even though this year it was sunny almost every day). A month is a long time to adhere to a single theme, but cyberpunk is such a well-served niche in gaming that I could easily start an all-cyberpunk Twitch channel. The fact that we’re so spoiled with choice makes Cyberpunk 2077’s terrible launch all the more embarrassing. Here are just some of the games I played (and streamed!) in November:
Ghostrunner Shadowrun (Genesis) RUINER Remember Me Transistor Rise of the Dragon (Sega CD) Shadowrun (Mega CD) Cyber Doll (Saturn) Binary Domain Shadowrun Returns Blade Runner (PC) Deus Ex: Human Revolution Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Observer
Shadowrun on the Genesis gets my top pick, but the two most recent Deus Ex games are great alternatives for those looking for something in the vein of 2077 that isn’t infested with termites.
Lost Planet 2
Every year. I played through it twice in 2020.
Dead Rising 4
I slept on this one too long. While it's a far cry from the original game, it's easily the most fun I've had with a Christmas game since Christmas NiGHTS. This is the game a lot of people thought they were getting when they bought the original Dead Rising with their new Xbox 360--goofy, indulgent, and pressure-free.
Devil May Cry 5: Vergil (PS4)
Vergil dropped for last-gen consoles in December and breathed a whole lot of life into a game that was already at the head of its class.
Nioh 2
I’ve only played a few hours of Nioh 2 because I promised my friend I’d co-op it with him and wouldn’t play ahead. But he’s a grad student with two small children. Nevertheless, Nioh 2 is my Game of 2020.
And that's it! Guess I'll spend 2021 playing games that came out last year, and maybe eventually getting vaccinated? Please?
#2020 year in review best of games of the year game of the year goty recap lacquerware death stranding sekiro darius g-darius video games gam#dragon force#2020#year in review#best of#games of the year#game of the year#goty#recap#review#lacquerware#death stranding#sekiro#darius#g-darius#video games#games#gaming#nioh#nioh 2#devil may cry#devil may cry 5#dmc5#vergil#dead rising 4#dr4#frank west#christmas games#lost planet#lp2
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ANGST KAZUMAJI ANON AND WOOF. FUCK. GOTTA LISTEN TO THOSE SONGS AFTER WORK. EXCITED. Your idea though OW. I haven't seen Y6 yet (I watch playthroughs don't have the console and my computer laughs at me trying to run the games) the streamer thats playing it finally got to Y6 and I am Refusing To Watch It. My heart can't take even starting the VOD.
You’re welcome for the music cc:
A LOT of people haven’t seen 6 yet, so I did my best to get through that without spoilers ^^; Hope I haven’t ruined anything for you. And I feel that, my laptop and I have constant arguments and I’m not a good gamer anyway ^^; I should try Kiwami 1 someday though... I have it, I'm just Nervous about Being Bad ^^;
Nice, following one streamer, well done c: I just hopped around to different playthroughs on youtube ^^; My wife and I binged all 7 games in I think 2 months, max. ^^; She crazy tho and a bad influence on me xp She likes to just sit and binge things and I am, understandably, weak for my wife <3
6 isn’t so bad, I promise. You can do it c: It’s very pretty, you get to stare at Kiryu’s juicy ass the entire game, there’s lots of cute minigames of Kiryu with a baby, uh... *running out of nice things to say about 6* ...did I mention it’s very pretty? Fuck... Listen, I have... Feelings about game 6, but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone ^^; Everyone’s allowed to experience things in their own time and form their own opinions and I don’t want to deprive anyone of that. Please watch it and when you see it, feel free to come tell me about it c:
And as a reward for all that, another angsty idea:
The Nishikiyama Opera!
So I composed the entire thing on a car ride with my wife last week and it’s WILD. Y’all ever see opera? If you’ve never seen an opera you SHOULD, they’re fucking Great. Operas are all about being The Most, comedy or tragedy, they’re all horny as shit and everyone is extra as fuck. If you living for the drama, you HAVE to get your ass to an opera. I’m lucky enough to live somewhere with a relatively robust opera community. And anyway, my point is, The Nishikiyama story? RIPE for an opera adaptation!
First, you gotta know some of the opera tropes. There are two categories of opera, comedies which are kinda rare and tragedies which is... constantly. And operas are pretty good at telling you almost immediately which one they will be. There’s also a lot of meta about the voice parts themselves:
Soprano - heroine, ingenue, beautiful. Will win if this is a comedy, will die if this is a tragedy.
Alto - mothers & witches. Not the heroine. Will probably die regardless of comedy or tragedy. Unless she’s the villain, then she lives in a tragedy.
Tenor - hero. Given the sexiest parts to sing. Sometimes unbearable. Everything is about Him.
Baritone/Bass - fathers & villains. Gorgeous voice, never utilized properly.
Knowing the vocal parts and what they classically represent is key to knowing who will win and who will die in the opera. For example, in Carmen, Carmen is actually an alto, not a soprano, and Don Jose is a tenor. This immediately tells you that shit’s fucked. Tenors are supposed to fall in love with sopranos, never altos. So this story can only end in tragedy because he’s interested in the wrong kind of voice part. There’s even a counterpoint of a soprano who is madly in love with him, and the baritone toreador for Carmen. They’re given their proper voice partners, but Don Jose still pursues Carmen which is a ginormous mistake by operatic tropes.
So, opera education over, picture this:
ACT I Kiryu (soprano) is the loveliest yakuza in all the land! He’s just delightful. The Chorus sings his praises and he demonstrates his impeccable fighting ability. (Forgot to mention, any opera worth its salt has a Chorus and I will die on this hill.) The Audience is assured of his might and grace.
Kiryu, obviously, does not want for admirers, but has not chosen to court anyone formally.
Here enters Kiryu’s brother, Nishiki (bass). The Chorus explains that Nishiki is second to his brother in strength, but is formidable in his own right. Nishiki explains to the audience how he longs for Kiryu, how he covets him, his strength, his beauty. How after a lifetime together, affection has turned to love. Nishiki must have him.
Kiryu hears none of this. Nishiki approaches to make his case when Majima (tenor) sweeps onto the scene. Majima is brazen and glib. The Chorus tells us to beware his charming smile, he is as dangerous as he is flirtatious. Majima has heard of Kiryu’s reputation and calls him into the street to defend his title. Kiryu responds and they do battle.
In the midst of the battle, Majima finds himself won over by Kiryu’s skill and grace, his kindness and strength. Majima is bursting with love and there and then makes a proposal to Kiryu, offering his whole heart.
Kiryu is stunned. Majima is not a weak fighter, he is not a braggadocio, despite appearances. He was a real challenge and Kiryu was not expecting the fight to take this turn. He is so surprised he cannot make an answer and politely, but quickly, leaves.
Nishiki has been watching the entire time and finds his heart gripped by jealousy. He plots to claim Kiryu for himself and hates Majima bitterly, despite the fact that Kiryu has given no answer. Nishiki believes he knows his brother too well not to know that Kiryu returns his affections even if he won’t say. Nishiki leaves, concocting a plan.
We find Kiryu at his balcony, lamenting his situation. Majima may have been exciting, but Kiryu’s no fool. He has no proof that Majima’s feelings will not waver in time. Majima steals into the garden beneath Kiryu’s balcony and professes his love once more.
Kiryu is startled and makes to flee, but Majima sings so sweetly, entreats so gently, that Kiryu is compelled to stay. Majima doesn’t even ask again, just sings of his feelings. Kiryu, in his heart, is wooed by this. He may have been ready to answer when Nishiki interrupts. Majima quickly hides in the foliage.
Nishiki counters with his own confession, his own proposal. Kiryu is shocked and saddened. He begins to sadly tell his brother that he cannot accept. Nishiki flies into a rage, demanding if there is someone else, someone else Kiryu prefers. Kiryu hesitates, but answers honestly that he has always seen Nishiki as a brother, regardless of any other feelings. He cannot accept Nishiki on the grounds of their previous relationship.
Nishiki was expecting this. He reveals a vial of poison and threatens to drink it unless Kiryu will marry him. Majima gasps. Kiryu pleads with Nishiki not to be rash, but Nishiki only demands his answer, the vial nearly at his lips.
Kiryu swallows back tears and collapses to his knees. Sorrowfully, he agrees, unable to bear the responsibility of his brother’s death, and the act finishes to the sound of clamoring wedding bells.
ACT II The lights come up on Kiryu and Nishiki in their home. Nishiki is pacing the floor and making increasingly outlandish suggestions for things to do. Kiryu says yes to all of them, gently and politely. Nishiki’s frustration and annoyance increases with every yes. Eventually he snaps at Kiryu, demanding why he won’t fight him, demanding why he will give no more reaction than a placid yes. Kiryu shrugs helplessly and tries to soothe his brother, but Nishiki won’t be soothed.
They have been married less than a year and it has been like this the entire time, getting worse by the day. Nishiki can see the pain he’s causing his brother, but can’t stop himself. He loves him too greedily to stop. He departs, hoping to take his mind off things.
Kiryu is left alone in the house and sings a longer, sadder version of his lament from the balcony. Distantly, we hear strains of Majima’s love song, now broken and echoing.
The scene changes and we see Kiryu sat down in a busy cafe. At first we assume he’s alone, but people move and we can see he is sitting across from Majima. They do not touch. Their careful, polite space around each other is conspicuous.
Kiryu is tired, he looks wan, almost sick. Majima sings heartbrokenly, telling Kiryu he needs to take care of himself. He is desperate to take Kiryu away from all this, and asks several times, but Kiryu always sighs and shakes his head no. Majima knows Kiryu will not break his word once given, he is too good and honorable for that. But he cannot help singing for him all the same. He cannot touch, he will not permit himself to touch, but he can sing.
Kiryu eventually cannot take the heartache anymore and departs sorrowfully. Majima looks after him, just as sad. Nishiki is revealed to have been spying on them the entire time. He confronts Majima, furious and accusatory. He insists that he and Kiryu have been having an affair. Majima simply looks at him and shrugs. Nishiki screams for Majima to admit it, to admit that Kiryu loves him, has always loved him, this whole time. Majima only says that Nishiki knows Kiryu best. He will not confirm or deny anything Nishiki says. Shaken and stymied, Nishiki flees.
We return to Kiryu’s balcony, where he sits, silent and pale. Nishiki storms in and begins to berate Kiryu with his accusations. He is half-mad now, not seeming to hear Kiryu’s denials. Kiryu professes over and over that only Nishiki is his husband, that he loves only Nishiki. Nishiki cannot accept this as true. Nishiki screams that Kiryu ought to ask him for a divorce. Kiryu cannot claim to want a divorce. He gave his word. Nishiki reveals that he had been watching them in the cafe, that he knows all, the secret contents of Kiryu’s heart. Kiryu manages some resistance at last and asks Nishiki for proof. What proof of his indiscretions? What proof of adultery? What has Kiryu done that has angered his husband-brother so?
Nishiki has none. Kiryu has not done anything wrong, not in word, not in act. Whatever thoughts he might accuse Kiryu of having are ephemeral and will never be real. Still... Nishiki saw how they looked together and his heart was sore. He knows he has stolen Kiryu from what was rightfully his. Moved to regret, Nishiki withdraws the vial of poison again.
Kiryu gasps and tries to prevent his brother.
Nishiki swallows the poison quickly, insisting this will set things right, this will free his brother. He says he did it for love. He falls.
Kiryu collapses next to him, sobbing.
The final scene is Nishiki’s funeral. Kiryu kneels next to his brother’s grave, all in black. He sings of his regrets, of his sorrow. Majima stands close by, but still not touching. He does not look at the grave, only at Kiryu. His broken love song is the last thing we hear.
The End.
...this opera was a tragedy ^^;
#Yakuza#long post#kazumaji#I write sad thing#hope everyone wanted a slice of tragedy today#Anonymous
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it's you that i lie with
katsuki bakugou wanted to die alone on a deserted park bench, but a stupidly sweet spiky-haired bastard decided to spoil his plan.
Once every few million years. Those were the odds. The odds of that ten fucking kilometer rock hitting the Earth. And of fucking course, just for a little extra shittiness, it just had to be heading straight for Japan. Straight towards him.
It was a glaring blemish in the sky, menacingly and consistently growing larger. He couldn't look at it, wouldn't look at it. It filled him with such a deep seated anger, the type that consumed him, that tore his skin apart and boiled his insides until he was a heap of bones and fuming rage.
It mocked him. Taunted its strength. Proving his weakness, his inadequacy. He wished he was strong enough, or even smart enough to fix it. But at this point? Not even the impenetrable heroes he read about in those shitty comics the green-haired brat that lived down the street obsessed over would be able to solve this.
Maybe if he had grown up in a world where he had power, had strength, then maybe he could stop the impending doom he was facing. He didn't know when it would hit. One hour? Two? He surely couldn't trust those asshole scientists plastered on every fucking screen Japan had to offer. After all, the bastards didn't even bother warning them, well not until it was too late to do anything. He couldn't stand the screaming throngs of people rushing home, hiding in street corners, too scared to face the reality of what was about to happen. It was pointless. He was going to die anyway. Die alone and angry. Who cared where it was. An empty street, his warzone of a house. It didn't matter.
He had left for a reason. Not because of the old bat's nagging, or his father's annoying ass whining, but because he wouldn't be able to do it. He didn't want his final thoughts to be of his mother's crying face, of his father's look of pure terror. He didn’t want theirs to be their son’s uncharacteristic silence. The Bakugou house was never silent, he wouldn't let it be silent. The screams of his mother, the bargaining of his father was what he was used to. And it was what his last memory of the two would be.
His phone continued to buzz in his pocket, barrages of texts from his family, school 'buddies' and even that green-haired loser from down his street. How'd he even have his number? He ignored them all, hand trembling. Maybe, if he wasn't so selfish, he'd be able to face them, say his goodbyes. Instead he was on a park bench in the streets of Musutafu, dying alone with quiet dignity. “What a fitting end for Bakugou Katsuki.” He thought bitterly.
A scream rang out. If he had to guess the origin it would be another person realizing their family member offed themselves. The smell of death fumigated through the streets, people taking their lives into their own hands instead of letting a shitty rock take them out. He wished he was strong enough to do that. Instead, he chose the latter. Pathetic.
A guy, almost hunched over, walked from that direction towards him almost aimlessly. He was shaking. Bakugou tensed, hunched down and prayed, pleading to any godly power that the guy would avoid him, avoid the bench, avoid the entire area. They chose not to accept the prayer, if they hadn't screwed Bakugou over enough already.
The boy sat down across the bench on the ground, curling onto himself like Bakugou simply wasn't there, like Bakugou wasn't watching him with a look of sheer shock as he sobbed. He wasn't that tall, maybe a few inches shorter than Bakugou at most. His red hoodie covered most of his head and body. He was rather quiet in his crying, which Bakugou could appreciate, given his plan to die in silence.
As quickly as the boy appeared, he stood up once again, shaking himself out of the ball he put himself into and rubbing his puffy eyes harshly with his arm. He was taller than Bakugou had assumed, in fact Bakugou was sure that if he left the current seat he was basically glued to, they’d be about the same size. He looked to be the same age as well. Nevertheless, Bakugou was glad he was leaving. He was pretty far from his house, not wanting to risk his parents finding him, for anyone he knew finding him. He didn’t want all that work to be for nothing.
The boy took off his hoodie to reveal what Bakugou considered to be quite possibly the most god awful haircut he'd ever seen, spiky red hair with thick black roots, as if he hadn't dyed it back in awhile. If it was any other situation, Bakugou would have started laughing.
But it wasn’t, and he didn't realize the boy had approached him. Fuck.
“Hey man I-"
“Fuck off shitty-hair!" Damn it. He really didn't mean to be as rude as he just was. Maybe it was the impending death, but he had meant to be at least a little nicer.
“It's not very manly to insult perfectly good hair!" The red haired boy yelled back earnestly, a small smile gracing his lips. What? Wasn't he literally sobbing a minute ago? Bakugou felt his eyes widen in shock and his mouth moved to blurt out a string of not so nice words when the boy spoke again.
“Anyway. Now I have to start all over! Look man, I know you're all 'mopey' and 'emo' over here, but I was wondering if I could stay here a bit.”
If Bakugou could be anymore shocked, he would be. His head short-circuited, he could feel his mouth gape open, and tried to force himself to say something, anything.
“Huh-"
“Wha-"
He felt himself stuttering, Goddamn it, he had to fucking pull himself together and reject this dude outright. He was Bakugou Katsuki, not a simpering pussy.
“Hey, before you say anything.” He stopped for a second and Bakugou looked him in the eyes, the gaze that shone back was conflicting yet powerful, there was a ton of sadness sure, but this dude's eyes held strength he wasn't expecting, especially because he had just cried on the ground in front of him.
“Please"
Please. One word, and somehow all opposition fell from his mind. One fucking word and Bakugou felt his mouth close, felt his head nod, his eyes narrow. The boy's eyes light up, and Bakugou felt his mouth twitch. What?
“Why the fuck did I just do that.”
He didn't have time to question his actions, the boy had sat down and already started chatting up a storm.
“-shima.” He said brightly, unfortunately in Bakugou's thoughts he heard absolutely nothing. Maybe it was because it was the end of the world or whatever, but he was really off his game.
“Huh?” He abruptly said, cutting off the animated words currently coming from the boy's unusually sharp mouth.
“I said, my name is Kirishima!” The boy said. “Anyway, so why are you over here? I've never seen you around here. What's your name? How old are you?” Bakugou gave the boy a glare. “It's fine! You don't have to talk much, you don't seem like a talker anyway, huh explosion boy?” Bakugou felt weird, his face felt red, his head throbbed and worst of all, his heart hurt.
“Shut up shitty-hair!” He yelled, fists at his side, face ducked. The boy just cocked his head and smiled.
“I thought I already told you, my name is Kirishima!” He said, smirking and once again surprising Bakugou. He wanted to be alone but this fucking spiky-haired bastard kept blabbering in his ear. Bakugou could already imagine the verbal assault he'd give God if the last thing he heard before being obliterated was the boy's nonsense.
“Anyway! You know what I'm going to miss? Video games. I might not look like it because I'm so manly and strong, but I'm a master gamer! “ Bakugou snicked, to the boy's obvious delight. “Hell man, I bet I could run circles around you!” The boy joked, laughing over Bakugou's growling.
“I'd like to see you try, I'd beat you in any game you think you're even an ounce good at.” The snark just made the boy laugh more, and Bakugou couldn’t help but notice how good his laughter was, how it wasn’t fair at all that in an hour, no one would ever hear that laughter again. How he’d be the last one to hear it. Death made him sappy apparently. The laughter had stopped, the boy looked up, something Bakugou didn’t have the guts to follow, instead he settled for the other boy’s face.
“You know, when I thought of my death I didn’t imagine this.” His voice was soft, eyes just on the verge of watering up. “I just-” He cleared his thought and Bakugou resisted the urge to interrupt. “I just thought I’d die in a little more of a manly way, you know?” Bakugou snorted.
“And getting crushed by some shitty space rock isn’t manly?” The boy smiled and knocked his shoulder against Bakugou’s. When did he get so close?
“Not cool man, you understand what I’m saying! I wanted to die in a blazing glory after defeating some super strong villain!”
“Yeah, I get it.” He found himself saying back, did he get it though? Bakugou had never thought about his death. It wasn’t something that he thought he wouldn’t face for a while. He was so obviously wrong.
He wanted to ask the boy to leave. Why didn’t he? Bakugou never had a problem stating his mind, so why was he having trouble now? The air felt heavy around him, tense in anticipation. The streets were eerily silent, the only sound reaching his ears was the breeze against the leaves behind him and the light breathing of the boy beside him.
It would be any time now he was sure, their conversation had lulled into a simple silence. This was it. His last moments would be with some random cute boy that in any other universe would be irrelevant to him. The boy breathed deeply, prompting Bakugou to look over at the boy from his gaze at the ground, confusion swimming in his mind.
“It’s getting closer.” He simply stated. Oh.
He could do it, lift his neck higher, look into the blue sky speckled with fluffy clouds, a view he took for granted his whole life. The weight of his head held him down, the paralyzing fear of looking into his murderer, watching it come closer towards him, towards the boy next to him. His fists clenched down on the hard wood of the bench as he slowly raised his head.
His killer was strangely memorizing, he noted. It grew larger and larger, energy permeated the area. The boy let out a breath and turned to Bakugou, tears lightly falling.
“Thank you.” He simply said. The earnest words sank deep into Bakugou’s heart, filling him with an unknown feeling. He shook it off, refusing to meet the boy’s eyes. He was not going to die crying. His right hand shook and he started to unconsciously clinch and unclinch his fist.
“Hey...Kirishima.” He said, so soft he was surprised the other boy heard it, quite honestly the softest he’s ever said anything.
“Huh?” The other boy questioned, tilting his head. Bakugou closed his eyes and put his head back down, outstretching his hand hesitantly.
“Will you hold my hand?”
...
Eijirou Kirishima died without knowing Bakugou's name and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you sm for reading! I really hope you enjoyed! I'm going to be writing more BNHA Bakugou fics, as well as more angsty kiribaku in the future so if you enjoyed this please keep on the lookout!
#kiribaku#kiribaku angst#kirishima eijirou#bakugou katskui#mha#bnha#boku no hero#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#my fic
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Thank you so so much! I'll come off anon so you can see what I look like. To start things off, I deal with severe anxiety. So, definitely someone understanding and willing to deal with that with me. I'm a day care teacher, animal lover, poem writer, video gamer, fan of all things galaxy related. I'm submissive in every way- both nsfw and domestically. I look for a leader, who's not afraid to be in control most of the time. I have my tongue, navel and nippies pierced. And I have tattoo
hope you like your matchup <3 sorry for the delay
you have been matched with : BEN Drowned
+ BEN very much ‘goes with the flow’ which is why he can be quite patient
+ he knows what dealing with mental illness can be like, both because of his own personal experience and that of those around him
+ he’s the type of boyfriend that will always support you, no matter what, and he’ll always be there for you to lean on when your anxiety starts peaking
+ he’ll make sure to educate himself on what to do and what to keep you away from, if you have any specific triggers, so that he can be helpful - and not in the way
+ children love BEN because he’s so chill and patient. he’ll let them do whatever they want [which might not exactly be safe]
+ he actually likes it when sally ties his hair up but shh
+ he is a bit child-like himself, so he can understand kids pretty well
+ not to mention his creativity that comes in handy if he ever needs to come up with a new random game to tire them out
+ all this means that he could lend you a hand with planning activities for the kids at daycare
+ vIdEO GaME BuDdIES !1!111!!!
+ you might have to remind him that the two of you can have dates that go beyond video game dates. he just really likes beating you in a match and flexing his superiority playing with you
+ animals are great ! BEN loves them, except he is rather lazy when it comes to taking care of them on the daily
+ he loves seeing you get worked up over things [be it getting excited while giving him space facts or raging during a particularly heated match against him]
+ speaking of taking care of things ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
+ this boy definitely does have a dominant side, and having an s/o that relies on him really boosts his ego
+ piercings and tattoos you say? not an issue with this blond
+ in fact, they’re a welcome addition to spice things up
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Headcanons + Making this to replace my old headcanons post.
Disclaimer: JUST GOING TO SAY NOT EVERYTHING I GIVE THEM IS SOMETHING I AGREE WITH! like Some characters will have a headcanon that’s more because I can ACTUALLY SEE Them enjoying an activity but even if they do I DON’T their are things that these characters would do that I DON’T think anyone else should do EVER!
Asch
Has a safe space in his room where he can be himself. It’s a place where He gets to let his guard down. that is his earth room
Has a tendency to be more attracted to those with a darker tone then him. then again its not really hard to have a darker complexion then him. (Regardless of race someone could have a tan or something, or just be a bit darker than him.) He himself hasn’t noticed this and probably never will.
Mirage sleeps in his room
If Rhys somehow got really sad and mopey he’d locate that ice cream truck and angrily threaten the ice cream man to give him all of the ice cream or DIE. Or he’d just want the entire truck, & if no one stopped him then he’d throw it through Ava’s window into her apartment.
Sometimes late at night when everyone’s sleeping & Asch can’t, he summons Rhys to his room and forces him to read him a bedtime story. Rhys used to do this when Asch was younger as well. He really likes Rhys’s voice.
If he was a human he’d probably be some NEET gamer who spends all his time roleplaying on World of Warcraft or something and he’d always rage about bad plot points or game mechanics in Anime & Video games.
The most likely to dirty talk
He sneezes like a kitten and when he does fire comes out.
Would be god awful at pole dancing
He doesn’t know what to do when it comes to love and isn’t used to physical affection. Its.....very pleasant whenever he gets it...but it also feels too comfortable for him. He’s scared of comfort, despite loving it.
Later on once he embraces affection he becomes absolutely addicted to it and is by far the most passionate of them. Though that angry scowl never leaves unfortunately . His passion rages on like a burning flame, like....an intense RUSH of desire. It can be overwhelming at times.
In fact he DEMANDS the affection.
In battle he’s more brutish than the others by far. A giant barrage of flames being sent EVERYWHERE .
One time he read a fanfiction & thought it was 100% Canon. & when anyone said otherwise He screamed angrily and shot fire balls at them; Even when they weren’t physically there. Of course since they weren’t there he just ended up burning the phone Ava got for him, but you know, whatever.
Loves curry
Really likes chocolate and caramel for whatever reason, but he can’t stand other sweets. he also likes strawberries
He enjoys the video game Indivisible, & some war military tactic games. He also likes rage games for some reason too even though he hates them, its complicated but he can’t stop playing, he gets too into it and too angry. He also enjoys racing games & MARIO PARTY, Especially when he wins.
His favorite animal is the bull
Dhaur is his husbando
His sin is wrath
Used to hate Steven Universe at first then grew....to like it. then love it. It seemed so dumb to him at first but as he watched it he came to understand it more.
Asch trusts Rhys more than the other daemos. He’s known him the longest and believes in his judgement he doesn’t think Rhys would EVER lie to him or deceive him. Because of this Rhys is the only person Asch is ever fully open with. He wouldn’t leave anyone else he was this open with back on daemos. He is quite FOOLISH to believe this however. :) after all Rhys is working with Lady Grandma.
He once dared Leif to eat a cactus after getting particularly angry in a game of truth or dare
Him and Rhal never get along ever. They always yell it eachother, and get into arguments.
Rhal has far more Knights than Asch
As for Lady Bish. Asch is completely indifferent towards her.
He doesn’t know why but he keeps on sniffing Ava’s bra for reasons obvious to the rest of us. Regardless he destroys them just the same
Smell/sweat Kink bitches
Probably into S&M.
He sometimes rehearses villainous Dialogues with himself in the mirror when no one’s around.
He also does this with Rhys on occasion...if he’s feeling particularly BRAVE that day
Holds up a lot of pent up emotions and hides it pretty well. He prefers to let them out as anger instead..but when he gets drunk it all just POURS out of him. He just sobs and cries and hugs and kisses and laughs. just...everything. ALL OF THE EMOTIONS BESIDES ANGER he expresses openly. He doesn’t become a completely different person he just becomes far more open. He compliments a lot as well.
He got drunk once and decided from that day NEVER AGAIN!
Though when he first got drunk he really liked it. Despite the flavor. and downed like 3.
That was a #Mistake
His favorite Crystal gem is Garnet, or Sapphire? Its hard for him to choose between them.
Rhys
The thiccest of the daemos on earth. By that I mean he has the biggest butt
What I mean by that is he does a lot of squats, & Glute exercises. He also has a magic that makes all the fat he gains go to his butt but that’s not important. Its not always in affect only for emergencies.
Would be VERY interested in science if he knew what it was
He would eat pizza with a fork
Gluttonous in any task he enjoys. When he eats he eats ALOT, sex would last a long time with him Though not many people know this about him because he takes his time.
The common one is Research, reading, observing, & ESPECIALLY LEARNING.
He also adores validation give him it.. Wears a long trench coat to hide his big butt from the world well not hide but-.
specifically daemos since some uncultured daemos tend to be quite handsy.
It doesn’t always work but whatever trench coats are cool.
has frequent discussions with Asch in his room. He’s the only one Asch is completely honest with. Asch trusts Rhys with EVERYTHING.
If he was a human he would be a college student studying to be a scientist of some kind.
He would also work volunteer jobs at the retirement homes.
If he was a human he’d probably meet Asch by working as his grandmothers nanny. I don’t think Asch would live by himself.
has a tad bit more fat on him than the others. but his muscle can distract from that. Plus his fat isn’t even noticeable outside of his ass His lover would nickname him sunrise, because his smile can chase the night away, cause his face is what brightens their day, because he is the beginning of something new bright and beautiful.
loves Rubix Cubes If he romanced Ava it wouldn’t be because he likes her it would be because he wants to use her. mostly for her nonexistent power ((magical and political))
Loves sweets more than the rest of them
I think I had enough for him last time.
His mother and Asch’s were close.
Spends waaayyyy too much time trying to over analyse tv shows he watches
Is a big fan of Pheonix wright, Fran Bow, Gravity falls, Danganronpa, Dr. Stone, Dr. Who, Fnaf, & pretty much any other game or TV show that either gives you a lot to think about after the episodes/playthrough, is chock full of thousands of possibilities and theories, or requires a lot of thought and problem solving to play. He also likes strategy games like Fire Emblem, & Final Fantasy Tactics. OH! And Pokemon but not for the normal gameplay for the competitive scene.
Due to having the element of water he is usually cool calm and collected. but he also is able to flow with a situation if needed. He’s passive
Often reads to Asch because Asch has a harder time reading. Him and Asch went to school together when they were younger and thus have a closer bond than the others. ((Lady grandma forced Asch to go))
Once asked Ava if she had any more of those porn magazines. Was pleased to find that Ava had an entire closets worth. Though not all of it was the fighting techniques he was looking for.
He has no fucking idea how a vagina works in the slightest. or what vagina’s even look like? Despite his extensive knowledge sex is one of the places where he knows the least. Because he has no idea what lesbian sex is he is completely oblivious to the fact that he’s been staring at 2 girls fucking it on in those magazines he’s found underneath Ava’s bed.
He once had to help Leif out with the creation of the Furby organ. It was incredibly difficult for him but also very insightful
The Furbies terrify him though. That STARE its..just...ugh
The best at pole dancing.
Is far more elegant on the battle field than the others. His attacks are more precise and careful than theirs are.
He’s also the best at dancing...well fancy dancing. like ballet, and slowdancing.
Sleeps in Ava’s fridge sometimes.
Starting teaching Noi how to read a bit more after they went to the mall. The shops are cataloged after all
Is cold resistant to a point. I mean ice magic CAN still hurt him but like...less. I’d liken it to a Pokemon.
His favorite crystal gem is garnet. If your talking singular gems then I’d say Ruby. But...like Garnets amazing why would you want to choose just ONE of them as your favorite when..
Likes classical music, R & B, Soft...indie songs, Soft pop, Trap music & Bossa Nova
If Ava did marry him she’d probably get locked into a loveless marriage for power that doesn’t exist
If he found out about Ava’s lies he might have a fucking meltdown. :D like everything he was working towards EVERYTHING would have been for nothing.
That is until the prospect of watching how the human world continues to function without magic...he’d realize they have TECHNOLOGY and how...amazing it is.
Leif
The more he likes you the more he’ll want to stab you. Just how it is
The more he’s attracted to someone the more he’ll want to stab their guts out. he’s weird like that.
Big sadist I mean we already know this but like in all the ways? ya know?Like he literally gets an orgasmic feeling in his veins when he slices someone open kind of sadistic.
If he was a human he would probably be a doctor or surgeon who only has his job because it allows him to legally cut people open.
would’ve probably been one of those school bullies who only bullies someone because he’s in love with them if he was a human
You could literally get him to do anything by being like “ I bet you couldn’t do that. “ or saying “ ____ go get the ____ for me” He makes everything into a competition.
Broke EVERYTHING when he was a child.
Tried to eat a cactus, because Asch dared him to.
Asch didn’t think he’d actually do it.
His sin is PRIDE of course, which is why he feels like he has to prove everything and lives to have his ego STROKED.
Later he tried to shove a cactus up his ass because a stranger on the internet said that only cowards don’t use cacti as dildo’s
He had to go to the doctor many times.
He really liked the large amount of sharp objects in the hospital room
He may or may not be banned from that hospital
The nurse had to file a restraining order it was a sad day. But they got the pricks out!! and that’s all that matters! PLUS Leif got a new thumb to add to his collection!
He really likes it because its a special decorated one. With PAINT on the tips. its weird and shiny. The nurse probably won’t need it anyways.
He has a rotting placenta in his bedroom no one knows where he got it!(AND NOBODY ASKS) but it still has the umbilical cord attached no baby though :(
He isn’t allowed outside anymore for obvious reasons
He found out what Furbies where and fell in love with them instantly . He stole 20
He made a Furby organ. why? Because its infinitely stupider and more terrifying than a regular one. He forced Rhys to help cause Rhys is smart. It still took like 90 tries and costed Ava alot of money, and Furbies.
He keeps it in his room and he plays it constantly. Mostly to annoy Asch, Ava, and everyone else around him. He also loves the fact that its called an organ.
He was dared to eat a jar of nails and he fucking did it.
He obviously had to use healing magic on himself
He’s really hot for Noi. Like...a bit too much no one notices though.
A bit hotter for Ava than Noi though, That’s why he keeps wanting to penetrate her with his knife. The more he threatens to do this the more he likes you.
His element is Life, or earth. Mostly life which is why he’s so vigorous and excited.
This is also the reason why he’s so obsessed with killing things. when you live your ALWAYS killing, every move you make you end thousands of lives just like that! Daemos of the life element seem to want to enjoy life to the fullest and never look back. EVER
As such he’s also good at cultivating life, weather it be a plant or an animal. Everyones always surprised by this
Back on Daemos before his snap he’d actually be alot kinder to Noi, ((IN the first 4 episodes whenever Noi got hurt he was the only one to ever show any concern. I find that interesting in contrast to how he threw that out in some of the later ones. )) He’d often be the one that consoles noi or talks things out with him.
Leif is more aggressive, energetic and far more cruel in more docile environments. He becomes much more empathetic, & Calm in hostile ones. ((Like that time where he actually got on Rhys’s case for being too hard on Asch, or the times when he was like “Hey are we actually going to let Noi die” and offering to heal Noi when he was writhing in pain when they came to earth. ))
He’s actually more perceptive then he seems, he cares about those around him NORMALLY its just going this long without killing anything is maddening for him. HE NEEDS TO KILL. to let it all out, once he does he’ll act as he normally does.
He was the only one even remotely kind to Noi back on daemos, that changed when they got to earth. (besides Pierce. )
Though due to his normal lack of empathy in a world where he’s human he’d probably be one of those people who just don’t care about how what they say affects those around them. Doing and saying whatever he wants regardless of how others may interpret that.
He LOVES Skullgirls. He really likes the character designs and the fact that double always has organs or something hanging out.
He also loves all horror movies and video games where he gets to cause mayhem; Like Saints Row, or Grand Theft Auto!
He’d be the only one of the daemos that is fully accepting of the weird side of the internet. You know the WEIRD side. He’d be into all of the bizar kinky fetishes you’d find on Furraffinity you just know it.
He doesn’t actually like Ava he more-so see’s her as a trophy? I mean well he DOES but he’s mostly in the whole fight for her thing to win a prize. And she’s the prize. ((Well at least before the newest episode))
Pierce
The most Physically affectionate of the daemos even more so than Noi
Big buff bara man. LIKE BY FAR THE BUFFEST
Would probably run an animal shelter or something if he could
Would be running an animal shelter or something if he was human
Likes….fluffy. waayyy too much
He’s by far the most empathetic of the daemos. Yes even Noi then again Noi isn’t very empathetic.
Very tired 24/7 needs coffee to sustain himself.
Often by himself in the quiet. sometimes while alone with his thoughts they spiral out of control, Regret, Doubt, Despair, Uncertainty, Fear, Insecurity. All at once. Does he cry not at all. He suffers as he stands Silent. ultimately its impossible to tell when he’s having one of these moments as he doesn’t show it on his face.
Big PP
He is very loyal but his loyalty isn’t...friendship. He doesn’t really like Asch very much, but he does trust his judgement and follow his orders. He’s a knight after all, besides he appears to have some connection to one of Asches family members ((The daemos in that Flashback had a crown on their horn)
He likes standing because when he stands theirs no threat of getting too comfortable, no chance of falling asleep and drifting away, no chance of drifting into sleep and deciding to never wake up again, no chance of getting lost in the comforts of the object beneath him.
He is the one that cares for Ava the most
Doesn’t really care about the cultural norms on daemos. he flows free like the wind and accepts any new and sudden changes.
Heavyish sleeper, gets grumpy when woken up. Like if your trying to kill him his instincts will kick in and he will wake up but otherwise he’ll just stay asleep. LIKE THROUGH EVERYTHING
Though while he is the most empathetic of the Daemos he’s also prone to intense levels of apathy, where he just shuts down silent lost in his thoughts unable to be disturbed. these are only momentary
His element is air. Because of this he’s mostly just free and flowing.
Sometimes gives Ava Piggy Back rides to make her feel tall
Potentially one of the only one of the Daemos that genuinely care about Ava.
But also potentially only see’s Ava as a cute pet to love on rather than a person in and of herself. But ultimately he does also care about her feelings, and her opinion on things.
I prefer to think the latter rather than the former.
one time he accidentally befriended a large swarm of bee’s and they followed him to Ava’s house.
Gives Ava piggy back rides
Out of the Daemos he’s the one who Ava is closest to. The others have yet to even notice this.
One time the boys found porn on the phone and just gathered around the phone looking at it confused all bug eyed. Pierce saw the filth on the screen and made the executive decision to yeet it out the window.
Ava had to buy a new phone
Has a rough yet gentle touch. he takes care and caution when dealing with life.
because of the above him and Leif have an impossibly hard time cooperating when its just them.
The best with animals.
When not caught up in apathy he is the exact opposite. He becomes far too
Noi
He would enjoy fortnight if he played it
Would thrive off of old memes
If he was human he would be that one friend you wouldn’t want to hang out with because he fortnight dances, dabs, uses outdated memes, rick rolls people, and everything unironically.
The least muscular & Thicc by far. he doesn’t have any meat on his bones, unlike the other 4. Flat boney ass.
He’d probably be some sort of social media icon or a street performer if he was human. He thrives off of validation. Though because he’s a clumsy fuck street preforming wouldn’t be the best gig for him.
Likes music the most
Would probably be the first of the Daemos to watch and enjoy Steven Universe. ((Though I’d bet the others would come around. They always come around))
He Rick Rolled Rhys one time.
His sin is Envy, he often feels insecure about himself, and he looks up to everyone else seeing how “Cool” or great they are. ALWAYS saying “GOOD JOB ____” whenever they do something cool, he’s always excited but with that excitement comes the thoughts...Why can’t I do things like that? I wish I COULD BE STRONG LIKE PIERCE, I wish I COULD BE SMART LIKE RHYS, I wish I could be PAMPERED LIKE ASCH, I wish I COULD BE HANDSOME LIKE LEIF. That’s why he’s so focused on being better than everyone else. I wanna try! Let me see it! LET ME TRY FOR ONCE. that comes from not only desire but ENVY. he just channels this envy in a much healthier way than most would. *Cough* Leif *Cough*
He has EXTREME insecurity problems and longs more than anything to be better than the others.
After he found out what breakdancing was he dedicated SO MUCH of his time trying to learn how to do it.
He may or may not be obsessed with that
He also really likes Ava. But he’s moreso in love with the idea of her? He doesn’t really listen to much of what she says due to the fact that he’s so scatterbrained and spacey. He just likes when she talks. He mostly fell in love with Ava because she was the first person to present themselves towards him as an option. back on Daemos he was relatively low class. Thus he was viewed as unmarriageable, worthless, dumb, WEAK, & Poor, So trying to enter a relationship with ANYONE was out of the question. The boy thought he would die without finding love.
He thought Ava was actually GENUINELY interested in romancing him and because of that it excited him. NO ONE HAD EVER actually wanted to romance him. Back at home NO ONE liked him, no one was ever kind to him. Well Leif sometimes was pierce would show some kind of a...paternal affection rarely. But Leif also treated him cruelly and insulted him like the others.
Due to how loving and compassionate he is he was kicked out of his household.
Despite this Noi isn’t exactly empathetic. He doesn’t pay attention to the emotions of others he’s far too caught up in himself.
In the first 2 days on Earth He & Leif would shit talk Asch behind his back. Mostly talking about how they didn’t really like this plan and just vent their frustrations out at eachother
Starting on episode 5 him and Leif just kinda. He became too scared of Leif to even approach him as much and thus he kinda grew apart from him. thus causing him to latch more onto Ava. AVA likes him, unlike them. HE HAS PROOF after all.
He’s also far too stuck up in the idea of a powerful princess loving him a lowly peasant a low ranking knight someone who.....who wouldn’t be worth anything to her.
If they were to find out about ALL of Ava’s lies he’d take it the 2nd hardest. Asch would be the first, Rhys the 3rd. Leif the 4th, & Pierce the 5th.
Mostly because the only reason why she chose him, the only reason why they went on a date wasn’t because she was interested in him but because she didn’t want her cover blown. He thought she actually loved him not to say she doesn’t care for him but-...he thought she WANTED him you know?
She wouldn’t be a powerful princess, she wouldn’t be a cool sorceress, she wouldn’t be this big thing that he wanted so much she’d just be herself and then Noi’s fantasy would crumble.
Its the dream the fantasy that someone so powerful so strong would set aside their time and pay attention to him take him out in hopes of COURTING him that he fell in love with. Not ava herself.
That being said he does like Ava and even prefer spending time with her to half of the main cast.
Ava
Has to take Prescription drugs
Ate cat food once when she was five
Probably into pet play
Really likes collars
One time she went to some bitch in her high schools Quinceañera to release a box of 4000 angry bees upon it and run
Greedy
Spends alot of her time watching Anime when not with the Daemos
Her favorite Crystal Gem is Amethyst because god damn
No where NEAR as thick as Aphmau is. She’s alot more twiggy.
Would totally do the WEED if her dads weren’t hovering around her 24/7
Has a lot of Girl on girl porn in her room. Specif under her bed and in her closet.
#Aphmau#My Inner Demons#My Inner Demons HCs#MID#Ava#asch#Rhys#Noi#Leif#pierce#Aphmau Pierce#Aphmau Noi#Aphmau Asch#Asch My Inner Demons#Ava My Inner Demons#Noi My inner demons#Leif My Inner Demons#Rhys My inner Demons#Asch MID#Leif MID#Ava MID#Noi MID#Rhys MID#Pierce MID#Pierce My inner Demons#Ava Aphmau#Rhys Aphmau#Pierce Aphmau#Leif Aphmau#Noi aphmau
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Absol's Journey's End progression, act 1: prehardmode
(this post contains sarcasm not marked with /s because a., I'm not targeting any real people and b., It's for emphasis. I will also be explaining things that may not need to be explained to seasoned players in order to make this a little more accessible. Tw for sparse cursing)
wow
I'd like to call myself good at Terraria. I've played across several platforms since patch 1.1 and know way too much about this spectacular sandbox's intricate details. I can blaze through most bosses effortlessly if I'm prepared. I've done playthroughs of every class in expert mode (except summoner, couldn't find a slime staff even after farming :/).
It's so strange to be bitch slapped all the way back to square one just because I've never touched a keyboard before.
I don't remember what my initial key layout was, but currently, the important ones are-
WASD for movement
C for inventory
R for mounts
F for quick heal
B for quick buff
Space for jump
LeftAlt for smart cursor toggle
M for map
Left click for action and right click for interaction, and
Mouse 3 (scroll wheel *press* for grappling hook.
You should've seen my hour-one gameplay. It was sad. I couldn't change directions while jumping. I was regretting choosing expert mode difficulty. If I wasn't using journey mode's research system as a crutch, I'd probably still be pre-skeletron. I didn't even have enough skill to use the step stool accessory, which literally just requires holding up.
But, in the long run, I got better way faster than I could've anticipated. First, however, on irl day 2, I killed the Eye of Cthulhu on my fifth try after being torn apart by its last-resort Wacko Mode 4 times. At that point I was decked out in full gold gear with the fast and piercing jester arrows, so I really felt that the keyboard was holding me back considering that I usually do the eye armorless (admittedly I only had 100 life, but I usually do that too.)
The next day, slime rained. I thought that the king would be free gear, so I warped back to the surface to bring him out. He wasn't. He spawned on top of me, dealing 50+ damage immediately, wiping out half my total HP. I instinctively tried to use the shield dash to get the hell out of there, but I hit the inside of his body, which made me bounce back, which made me get hit again, resulting in death. The fight lasted less than 10 seconds, and I could only see the fucker for two of them.
With my spicy new tendon bow from the eye, I thought in my tilted rage that it would be a good idea to go and beat up the Brain of Cthulhu. I was itching for beefier armor and it was the gateway between me and crimson/molten gear. I set up an arena above the crimson made of two long rows of platforms covered in health regen-boosting campfires. With a stack of its spawn item (thanks journey mode), I brought in the first one to size up what I was dealing with.
I died pretty well. In fact, this is where I died the best out of the whole run so far.
The first attempt went surprisingly well. My lovely and incredibly sexy jester arrows made dealing with the creeper hoardes *relatively* easy. Phase two did not apply to that. I had brought along a burning mace because it had the dual functionality of circling the player or being shot out and coming back again like a baseball on an elastic string. This would theoretically allow me to attack the brain if it was far away and defend myself if it was too close to me. I did not know that the mace had very little knockback while it was spinning. This plan did not work.
ELEVEN atempts of trial and error later, I won. By that point, the creepers alone had dropped enough materials to make the crimson armor without ever actually killing the boss, which is pathetic. But I won, and I didn't cheat. I'm still in the easy baby phase of the game. At this point I'm starting to realize why most players statistically chop down a tree and ditch the game forever.
It's irl day 3. Next up on my blood feud against the children's video game was skeletron, the next step in progression that makes the final boss of prehardmode a little bit easier and the thing preventing me from seeing my hair. I set up and even longer 3-layer arena and prepared to not have fun, as skeletron is known in my head for being a dumb bitch who cheats with fast, homing projectiles and an un-telegraphed chain attack that will instantly kill you if you can't grapple out.
He took two tries. I don't get it. I was probably getting better at the controls by then, but *that much* better? Like, the successful attempt wasn't even that close. Whatever. I was annoyed that the stupid brain gave me so much trouble, and I seemingly couldn't be happy after a boss fight even if it went well. But, since we take those, I proceeded into the dungeon to find a bunch of disposable weapons and, more importantly, the cobalt shield. I didn't have to take knockback anymore. If I rematched the king slime then he was fucking dead.
The clothier moved in and I bought the familiar wig to reveal my luscious locks.
Queen bee is next. The fights were standard, but I learned that she apparently enrages on the surface? I always fight her there, except for this time when I stayed underground for funsies. She was so much easier underground. Good to know, I guess. I could've probably done her before even the Brain.
Because I'd never been able to before and because I happened to find the tavernkeep after the bee fight, I tried out the old one's army which logically and appropriately kicked my ass. It was a reality check for sure (things were going smoothly since after the brain minus movement) but it was also a neat experience.
I mowed through the gobins, finally maxed my hp, and then it became Wall Time. My loadout was now molten armor with the Molten Fury bow and the Sunfury flail (which for some reason has like ninety base dmg??? This is a PREhardmode weapon? It has NO business doing 90+ but hey I'll take it). I was also rocking the blizzard in a balloon, band of regen, fledgeling wings, lightning boots, and shield of Cthulhu. I felt like I was finally strong enough in-game and competent enough with the controls to advance to hardmode. I was finally good enough at the video game to change directions while jumping.
I built a roughly 1,900-block long bridge in hell out of the blast-proof dungeon bricks. My plan was to run far ahead of the wall and just kill it with dynamite. I grinded for a voodoo doll and yeeted it into the lava, murdering Andrew the guide with questionable morals and bringing forth the wall of flesh. Little did absol know that they forgot to pack the main part of their plan, dynamite. I realized this, contemplated in-game self murder to end the hopeless fight early, but then I had an epiphany. What if I didn't cheese the boss and fought it legitimately?
With my epic gamer status and pride on the line and expecting nothing more than failure, I whipped out my good ole 100-gotdamn-damage Sunfury and tore through the Wall's hungry appendages.
This is all cool and good on paper. I'm doing consistent damage and I'm not dying. That's how you kill bosses. Things are going well, life is good.
I check the map and learn that I've already used up two thirds of my hellbridge and that the wall was only just below half health. Oh no. Things are actually not going well and life is bad.
I switch to the bow, hoping that the speed and accuracy result in better DPS. Better it was, and I would be all set if it weren't for the Wall's gimmick. I was indeed doing more damage, but as it loses health, it gets faster. I'm at a point where I have to be running at full speed almost constantly to stay a safe distance away. The Wall's health still isn't in the dark red zone and I'm almost out of road. I'm starting to take steady damage from the exponentially faster eye lasers and leeches. I run out of bridge and have to hop from lava lake to building to lava lake in order to not burn alive in the infernal orange juice. New areas are being revealed on the map because I'm fighting in an area I've literally not been in yet. I'm too busy focusing on not being deep-fried that my aim suffers tremendously. I fumble while switching back to the flail for quality over quantity, costing me precious seconds. The wall now moves faster than my top speed. I mis-time a jump and right before the wall disintegrates me between itself and a building, it dies.
I audibly moan in real life.
I go and check the treasure bag after a few seconds of mental recalibration. I got a laser rifle and a ranger emblem, along with the standard demon heart which I immediately wolf down to slap on the emblem. I guess I'm a ranger now.
Recap:
King Slime: still alive
Eye of Cthulhu: five attempts
Brain of Cthulhu: twelve attempts
Skeletron: two attempts
Queen Bee: two attempts
Wall of Flesh: one attempt
The spirits of light and dark have been released and my gamer status is intact. Absol's next victim-victim relationship is with the Queen Slime, but that'll have to wait until the hardmode post :)
Thank you if you've read this far!! Lemme know what you think about this kind of thing, it was fun
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Reason to Play, a Journal--Entry One: Fortnite, MGSV, and Finding Ourselves in the Act of Play
Hi.
This is the first entry in what I hope will be an ongoing journal of play. I wanted to start by explaining my thinking behind this project.
Right now, I’m looking for a reason to play. I’m always wary of games that seem to offer nothing beyond a mildly pleasant occupation of my time, and right now, I find such games downright inadequate. Unworthy. These are horrifying times, and yet, like so many of us, I find myself exhausted by it all. Unable to maintain the levels of rage and resistance that the actions of the current administration demand. I see it all becoming normalized and I feel powerless to stop it. And as the days and weeks and months go by, I feel as if this numbness accrues. I become increasingly detached, not just from the horrors of the moment but from myself. I start to wonder where the person I believed myself to be has gone.
I believe that art is most vital in times like this. I love this quote from Kafka:
“I think we ought to read only the kind of books that wound or stab us. If the book we're reading doesn't wake us up with a blow to the head, what are we reading for?...We need books that affect us like a disaster, that grieve us deeply, like the death of someone we loved more than ourselves, like being banished into forests far from everyone, like a suicide. A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us. That is my belief.”
If a game isn’t going to be the axe for the frozen sea inside me, if it isn’t going to cut through the numbness, shake me up, break my heart, fuck me up, do something to rehumanize me, it is not worthy of this moment.
But I might find what I’m looking for anywhere. I’m not talking just about games that explicitly comment on fascism or racial injustice or economic inequality. Yes, I think it’s essential that we have art, including games, that confronts these things directly, but it’s also true that a game can have the noblest aims and leave me cold, while a throwaway moment in a big-budget mainstream game of the sort that certain gamers like to call “apolitical” can crack my heart wide open.
Like most of my writing about games, this journal will be a place where I fully embrace the subjectivity of my own experience with the games that I play.
Okay. Here we go.
Testin’ My Mind, Shakin’ My Body in Fortnite
Yeah, okay, Fortnite’s a Battle Royale. That’s just a fact. If you’re playing solo, which I almost always am--I’m uncomfortable teaming up with random players, though on occasion I’ll play duos with a friend, which makes for a completely different, really exciting dynamic--you drop onto the island with close to a hundred other players, and the way you win is by being the last player standing. Now, I encourage conversations about the violence inherent to the format, as well as about all the other aspects of Fortnite that people rightly raise concerns about--the way in which it’s monetized, Epic’s pattern of repeatedly profiting off of dances associated with artists and communities of color without compensating the artists or communities that created them. All of it. But if we’re gonna go to the mat with Fortnite on these aspects (and we should), let’s also at least have a full, multifaceted conversation about why we play Fortnite, how it feels, and the moments that can emerge from a fully invested experience of the game.
Did you know that earlier this year, a massive beast that had been frozen in ice under Polar Peak broke free, that huge footprints showed it had made its way to the sea, where it’s occasionally been spotted, roaming the waters around the island? Did you know that right now, a towering robot is being built in the remnants of the volcano? It seems inevitable that soon, a massive Pacific Rim-style fight between them will take place, almost certainly resulting in a new wave of major changes to the island. Indeed, the island is always a place in flux, changing in big and small ways. It’s alive in ways that I’ve always wanted my game worlds to be alive. Landing near Loot Lake a few weeks ago, I was excited to see that the massive power cable that runs through the area was shredded and sparking, as if perhaps the monster had taken a bite.
But the life of the environment wouldn’t mean much if it weren’t for my encounters with the lives of other players. The other day, I was trying to complete a challenge that required me to get a certain score on a balloon board at one of the numerous little beach party setups that currently dot the map. Jumping from the bus, I swooped down to a spot in the desert, opened a chest, grabbed the weapon, and made my way over to the nearby board. Another player got there just before me, and I stood still, hoping to indicate that I didn’t want to stop them from completing the challenge. They froze for a moment, but then proceeded, and when they hit the necessary score, a little celebratory explosion of confetti occurred, and I got credit for the challenge, too.
Basking in the glow of our shared little moment, I wanted to walk away then, wishing them nothing but the best in the match ahead. But then they took a shot at me. In that instant, a sinking feeling ran through my whole body, a physical expression of “Aw, why’d you have to go and do that?” and in an instant, I obliterated them. It wasn’t a victory. It was more like putting someone down. I didn’t feel good about it, but it sure was a real feeling. Something surprising and immediate that emerged from my encounter with another living person. And that’s what I’m here for.
Yes, Fortnite is a Battle Royale, but so much of the experience of Fortnite is about unexpected occurrences like this, and about the things we do in the stolen moments between the shootouts and build battles. The other day, I got so caught up in playing a silly memory game I stumbled upon that I wound up getting caught in the storm. Not long before that, I danced with John Wick to raise a disco ball in an abandoned lair so we could snag a fortbyte, one of this season’s collectibles. These are the things I really remember, not my win-loss ratio or all the times I’m eliminated by players much better than I am before I quickly hit play and hop on the battle bus all over again.
I’m eager to return to the island because the island itself feels vibrant and alive, emanating a kind of Spielbergian Americana and optimism, but also because of the vigorous bodies and exuberant identities I get to inhabit while I’m there. The mix-and-match nature of Fortnite’s customization means that one round I might be a sprightly female wizard with a sleek laptop on her back, and the next a nerdy, purple-haired gamer girl with a satchel full of potions and spellbooks. “Fun” may be overemphasized in some of our conversations around games, but it certainly has its place, and playing as these colorful characters, well, it’s just fun.
Every character in Fortnite plays exactly the same, but they don’t all feel the same to me. I just unlocked a black variant of the character Sentinel, a robot or power suit that looks like it might have appeared on Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, and I think it looks kinda cool, but I sure don’t want to be it. On the other hand, playing as Elmira (pictured above) feels good. And oh, do I love the way that some emotes make me feel. Tweeting recently about an emote called the Laid Back Shuffle, I wrote:
I’m almost always pretty uncomfortable in my body, for a number of reasons related to my appearance and my transness and things. The easygoing physical exuberance of this emote, the way that the avatar performing it, whatever avatar that might be at any given moment, appears to feel so loose and free in their own body, makes it really appealing to me, like a virtual experience/expression of a sensation that I’ve never known IRL. I think emotes have some kind of power beyond whatever power we often think of them having, perhaps particularly for those of us who never really feel comfortable in our own skin.
And all the kids playing Fortnite that we’re so worried about, let’s remember that their experience of this game isn’t as simple as just trying to slaughter everyone else on the island. Setting aside whatever value there may be in the particular type of complex thinking and skill-building that it requires to try to simultaneously outbuild and outgun your opponent, there’s also the fact that they, too, are experiencing the life of Fortnite’s island, having encounters with other players that play out in unexpected ways, and experimenting with self-expression. Yes, their opportunities for that exploration and expression are gated by money, and that’s a real issue, but that doesn’t change the fact that a young person finding that they feel particularly cool when playing as a woman in red with a bionic arm is valid, and maybe even valuable.
II. MGSV and What I Know Is True
I set The Phantom Pain aside for a few years after hitting a mission that I found maddeningly difficult, but something called me back to it. Now I’ve powered through the mission that gave me so much trouble, and I’m making progress again. I enjoy the geographical roughness of its environments, and the way you really have to deal with that roughness, often lying flat and crawling along the ground. The truth is that I spend far too much time alone in my apartment, and though it’s no substitute at all for the real, natural world, when I take my time being rooted in one spot to scout out locations and tag enemies before making any dangerous moves, I feel the shape of the space around me in a way that I rarely do in games.
The other day I fought a grueling boss battle and then, finally, when it was over, hopped onto the helicopter to return to base, exhausted by the ordeal. Just as we were about to lift off, Quiet hopped on, hanging off of the side of the chopper as the rotors above her head spun faster until we lurched up and away from the ground. She held my gaze the whole time. I think a lot of games look at the player too much. They want you to feel like the center of the universe, the only person who really matters. But that wasn’t the feeling I got from this moment. I’d just fought for my life, and the way she looked at me, without malice or sympathy for what I’d just been through or anything, made me feel like I was being sized up. Looked at in a real way. Seen.
Do you know that feeling--Does this happen to everyone or just me?--that feeling where, for a moment, your awareness kind of spreads beyond yourself and you’re suddenly very aware that what you’re experiencing is something real that is happening in physical, three-dimensional space at this exact moment in time? It’s a feeling I get sometimes when I’m in a moment that I wish I could make last, or that I really want to remember. Sharing a last drink with a friend before they move away, that sort of thing. This feeling of momentarily being very much rooted in myself but also outside of myself and acknowledging, This is real. This is something that happened. That moment where Quiet was looking at me in the wake of the momentous battle I’d just fought felt something like that.
It didn’t happen in real, physical space, but virtual space is a valid space, too, a space where real things happen. Sometimes when I’m playing Fortnite I’ll see the hillside where a friend and I once sped away from attackers on a Quadcrasher, bullets whizzing past our heads, and I’ll think, We were there. That happened. These moments become part of my relationship with the ever-changing island, just as my memories of San Francisco become part of my relationship with the city.
On another recent mission, I was sneaking my way through an enemy outpost when, from a nearby building, I heard the familiar sounds of Spandau Ballet’s “True.” To be honest, I never liked “True” much. The Phantom Pain takes place in 1984, and as a kid in the suburbs of Chicago in that year who sometimes saw the video on MTV, the song felt too airy and ethereal to move me. But recontextualized in The Phantom Pain, I heard it differently. That precise ethereal quality made it such an effective contrast to the grim military seriousness and the tactile terrain that my heart began to ache.
The presence of 80s pop songs in the isolated military outposts of the game is politically fascinating to me. It says something about how American and British cultural exports are absorbed by the entire world, but it’s largely a one-way street. A Pakistani friend of mine in high school had grown up with Sting, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, but I’d never heard Pakistani music in my life. I don’t understand why so many players are so intent on not considering all the political dimensions of a game like this. They only make the experience infinitely more fascinating, even if and when they reveal the game’s failures.
The songs also allow for the creation of some great moments. I snuck into the building where the song was playing just so I could snag the tape, and the next time I was in the helicopter, I played it, and as the opening notes of “True” played, I panned the camera slowly around Big Boss, creating a very short music video that I honestly found exciting.
I tweeted the clip, jokingly commenting that I’d “won Metal Gear Solid V by creating this beautiful moment,” but it had really felt this way to me. Creating this moment had been as fun and rewarding to me as anything else the game offered. Playing MGSV isn’t just sneaking and shooting, or at least for me it isn’t. This, too, is play. So obviously, I get frustrated with the “Git Gud” players, those who feel that games are at their best when they’re perfectly calibrated tests of raw skill, that the only thing that matters is having an awesome KDR, or earning the highest possible rating on missions, or whatever.
But the truth is that it’s not just hardcore gamers who set limits on our notions of play by talking about games like this. A lot of us do it, even a lot of us who consider ourselves emphatically opposed to the “Git Gud’ brigade. We do it when we look at a game like Fortnite and see it only as one simple thing, a struggle to be the last remaining survivor, without at least acknowledging all the other things a player might go to the game for. We do it when we deny the possibility for moments of strange beauty to emerge from even a grim, ugly, grossly misogynistic game like MGSV. We do it whenever we, ourselves, adopt a limited, conventional understanding of what it means to really play a game, rather than fully engaging with all the different ways that we can find ourselves and each other in the spaces that games create.
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I’m currently looking for work. If you enjoy my writing and are in a position to do so, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.
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Just Friends...? 3
Pairing: You x Taehyung (appearance by I.M)
Word count: 2,964
Genre: Fluff / Angst
Warning: Mentions of drinking
[1] [2]
The party was in full swing when Tae and I had arrived. Not more than an hour and a red solo cup accompanied by a few shots later, me and my best friend were separated. While Taehyung was dragged off by Bobby, I was left to my own devices, I hated being alone at parties. That in itself was an oxymoron, the house and backyard were crawling with people, practically shoulder to shoulder. Tae was always my safety net, I could always rely on him to be there for me.
“Look poor baby is lost without her Knight in Shining Armor Taehyung,” a slightly drunk Minji slurred.
“Minji!,” her friend scolded.
“What it’s true,’ Minji giggled.
I finally turned to where the voice was coming from.
“Do we have a problem Minji?” I asked her sweetly after taking a sip from my cup. The alcohol stinging my throat but giving me the courage to stand up to one of the town’s most insufferable girls.
“You bet we have a problem,” Minji scoffed.
“And that would be?” I continued in a honeyed voice, being thoroughly grossed out by myself.
“As if you didn’t know,” she handed her drink to her friend and moved to stand right in front of me. Her threatening personality couldn’t make up for her lacking height. “Kim Taehyung.”
“What about Tae?” I questioned.
“I’ve been after him for most of the year and he’s too far up your ass to notice.” She retorted.
“What’s your point Minji?” I asked, already tired of this conversation. It was girls like her that made me stay home from parties like this. I was mentally cursing Tae for leaving me alone.
“My point is,” she straightened up and firmly planted a hand on her hip trying to assert dominance. “I think it’s time for you to let go of Taehyung.”
I tipped the cup up to my lips, downing the rest of it’s contents.
“Minji, I think it’s time that you realize that not everyone wants to take the town’s tart for a ride.” The look on her face was priceless. “And maybe if you actually had half a brain, you’d realize that Tae doens’t go for the easy lays nor does he like girls lacking in decent personalities. So do us all a favor, stop trying.” I replied with a sweet smile.
Minji was completely red in the face, angered by what I had to say. I braced myself for the slap I knew was coming from her now raised hand but someone stopped her.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a deep but familiar voice said.
“And why the fuck not?” she asked, seething with rage.
“This girl has a mean right hook and I just wouldn’t,” he continued. I knew that voice but I couldn’t believe that he was right in front of me.
“Changkyun?!” I squealed closing the space between the two of us, enveloping him in a hug.
“Hey Y/n,” he chuckled,
“What are you doing here?” I asked, puzzled by his return after so many years away.
“It’s good to see you too,” he laughed.
Out of the corner of my sight, I watched as Minji snatched her cup from her friend and shrunk away in defeat. In some ways I felt sorry for her but then I remembered how awful she was.
“My mom decided that the city life wasn’t for her so...,” he shrugged
“So does that mean you’re back back?” I inquired.
“It looks that way,” he grinned down at me. Once I let go of him he asked me to get a drink with him.
I followed him to the kitchen, taking in his changed appearance. He surely didn’t have defined muscles nor did he fill out a pair of tight jeans as well as he did these days it seemed. Although it had only been a few years, he grew up well and I couldn’t stop staring.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Changkyun teased, startling me and bringing a blush to my cheeks.
“Sorry,” I meekly apologized.
“Don’t be, I couldn’t stop staring at you either when I first spotted you.” He winked before turning to pour both of us a drink as well as a shot.
His fingers grazed mine as he handed me the shot glass and booze filled cup.
“Bottoms up,” he raised his shot to mine. I tipped back the tiny glass and almost spit it back out. Changkyun laughed before quickly handing me a wedge of lime to suck on. “Here,” he said.
The lime did little to mask the sharp and bitter taste of tequila, so I took a gulp of the drink he handed me.
“Ugh, tequila?” I groaned.
“What not your drink?” he asked completely unaffected by the tequila.
“God no,” I said as the sting finally wore off.
“What is your drink then?” he questioned.
“I uh, don’t really have one.” I answered and took another sip of my drink. I could feel the previous drinks and shots finally take effect. It was early into the night, I needed to pace yourself. “I don’t really drink.”
“Then what are you doing now?” he smirked.
“Still a smartass I see,” I laughed and shrugged. “I mean yeah I’ve drank before, it’s just not my thing.”
“Ahhh still a goody- two shoes I see,” he mocked and winced when I playfully smacked him on the arm. “What was that for?”
“You know damn well what that was for,” I retorted. He laughed and turned to pour another shot.
“Cheers,” I murmured and raised my shot to his, clinking glasses. This time the burn wasn’t that bad but the house started to feel like a sauna. I fanned myself with a few waves of my hand.
“Wanna go outside?” He asked.
“Oh god yes please,” I quickly answered and he grabbed me by the hand to lead me to a cooler environment.
The feeling of his hand in mine brought back so many memories. I couldn’t tell if it was the liquor or if it was the fact that my first boyfriend was back that had me feeling some type of way. Changkyun looked back at me with a smile and my stomach flip-flopped with butterflies.
It was going to be a long night.
Changkyun and I had more than made up for lost time, we both sat outside on a bench and caught up while everyone around us got piss drunk. The both of us had paced ourselves on drinks, I was pleasantly tipsy while we continued talking.
“So tell me,” he began.
“About?” I asked with a raise of my eyebrows.
“Boyfriends,” he stated.
“What about them?” I responded with an eyeroll.
“Do you have one?” he asked and looked at me like I were crazy when I laughed. “What?”
“Boyfriends? Me?” I emptied my cup and set it down. “Nahhh. You were the only one.”
“I find that hard to believe,” he said.
“Why?” I scoffed.
“What do you mean why?” he lightly laughed at my expression. “Well I mean, even though it’s only been a few years,” he paused trying to find the right words. “I thought you were beautiful back then,”
“And now?” I asked curious of what he was going to say.
“Absolutely breathtaking.” he said looking down at the cup in his hands.
“Yeah right,” I couldn’t help but snort and bumped his shoulder with mine. “Liar.”
“I’m not lying.” He looked up at me and for some reason I couldn’t handle his gaze. “You’re still you but you’ve surpassed beautiful. You seem more confident with the way you walk, talk and dress. Even this new hair style suits you.” He confessed.
Changkyun and his words left me speechless. My eyes finally met his and in that moment he was leaning closer to me as if he was going to kiss me.
“Changkyun is that you man?!” Jinyoung interrupted with a shout. “Holy shit! That is you! Long time no see! What have you been up to?”
“We’ll pick this up later?” Changkyun asked me. “Save a dance for me yeah?” He asked before getting up to greet his old friend.
Taehyung’s pov
Taehyung knew Y/n wasn’t really fond of being left alone at parties, let’s be real she wasn’t fond of parties at all, which is why he felt so bad when Bobby dragged him off.
“Tae! About time man! Come, I’ve got something to show you,” Bobby more than enthusiastically exclaimed, with a bit of a slur. He definitely had a head start on drinking.
“What is it?” Taehyung asked. “I can’t leave y/n alone for too long.”
“She’ll be fine Tae.” He said while walking towards his room which was in the farthest part of the house. “My friend’s brother works with this software company and he brought me a beta of a new game. It has something to do with zombies, I think.”
Tae’s ears perked up at ‘new game’. He was an absolute nerd with games, if not THE nerdiest gamer in his circle of friends. When he wasn’t hanging out with Y/n, he was usually at home or playing games with Jimin at his place or the local arcade.
“Zombies you say?” He asked, obviously intrigued.
“I knew that would draw you in, I haven’t had the chance to play it yet. I heard the graphics in this game is amazing though” Bobby was without a doubt the most excited one for this game, he kept going on and on about what he’s heard about said game. Bobby sat on the floor in front of his tv and started up his xbox one his parents got him for graduation. Taehyung dragged the bean bag chair he’s had since forever over and plopped down onto it. Even though he was excited about this game, he couldn’t help feel bad that he left Y/n all alone. In the back of his mind he was wondering what she was up to?
“Tae? Did you hear me?” Bobby said bringing his attention to the controller he was waving in front of Tae’s face.
“Oh sorry, I was just thinking about something,” he apologized before grabbing the controller and turning it on.
“It’s all good dude.” He turned back towards the tv and continued setting the game up.
Taehyung soon forgot about the party and Y/n, not intentionally of course, becoming so immersed in the game. Bobby was right, the graphics were pretty stellar, even for it being a beta game. He was completely unaware of how much time had passed, it wasn’t until a drunken couple crashed through the open doorway as they were sloppily hooking up, that Tae realized what time it was. 1:36 and that he had a few unread texts from Y/n
11:28 [Y/n]: Tae! You missed it! I totally stood up to Minji!
11:28 [Y/n]: It was pretty badass!
12:30 [Y/n]: Where are you?
“Oh shit! Sorry, I thought this room was empty,” the guy slightly slurred.
“Yah! Sehun! Get out!” Bobby yelled, although he didn't need to since they were already on their way out.
“I think I’m gonna get some air out on the balcony, you keep playing,” he told his friend. As Tae slid the door open, stepping out onto the balcony, out of the stuffy room and into the fresh air. His gaze drifted towards all the familiar faces and a few he hadn’t recognized. Before too long, Taehyung’s eyes landed on the only person that mattered, Y/n, and she wasn’t alone. She was standing with some guy, he couldn’t make out who it was since his back was turned towards him.
Something in his chest wavered, it was an odd feeling really. Like a heavy weight nestled right in where his heart was. Taehyung suddenly felt the need to go to you. He wasn’t possessive by any means but lately he felt the need to be the only guy in your presence. His heart fluttered every time you touched him, whether it be your fingers tugging on the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention, or when you laid your head on his shoulder and he got a whiff of your raspberry-vanilla shampoo. His heart began racing every time you intertwined your fingers with his. Was it possible that Taehyung was falling for you, his best friend?
Taehyung sighed, exhaling a heavy breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding in. He wouldn’t be lying if he hadn’t thought about you before like that, as someone who was more than a friend. Sure there were times where they were on the couch when your dad wasn’t home and he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, or times when you left no space between them as they were cuddled up in your bed. Moments like those made butterflies swirl around in his entire body, he wondered if it was like that for you. He shook his head and turned back towards the sliding glass door, bypassing all of his friends who asked where he was going, he needed to get to you.
Taehyung shuffled through the crowd of party-goers that were inside the house, mumbling a ‘sorry’ or ‘excuse me’ every time he bumped into someone. He made a pit-stop in the kitchen to take a shot of liquid courage, aka vodka. Pushing his way out the crowded doorway, he had his eyes on you and the person you were with.
Stopping dead in his tracks as a slightly intoxicated Minji stood in his way. “Hey Tae,” she said in a voice that was sickeningly sweet.
“What’s up Minji?” Tae asked with a rather bored, yet impatient expression.
“You are just the person I was looking for,” she reached up to brush the fringe away from his face, only for him to shake his hair back into place. “Wanna dance?”
“With you?” Tae grinned as she nodded. “No.”
Her face twisted into a shocked expression. “And why the hell not?”
“Because you’re an awful person Minji.” Taehyung said without hesitation.
She shrank back as if she had been hit, eyes glowed with anger as Taehyung left her right in that spot.He walked over towards you just as the guy you were talking with turned to leave. Tae had to do a double-take, was that Changkyun?
Your POV
“Tae! Where have you been?!” I nearly shouted.
“I was - never mind that.” He looked at me with a raised eyebrow, thumb pointing over his shoulder. “Was that...?”
“Changkyun? Yep.” I nodded at Tae and took a sip from my cup.
“Is he back back or...?” The way he asked left me confused. Why did he care?
“It looks that way.” I replied with a shrug.
Taehyung looked less than enthused with my former flame suddenly being back in town. He physically shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of the thoughts running in his head.
“Look I need to talk to you about something.” Tae said with a slightly uneasy tone.
“Yeah, sure what is it?” I asked smiling up at him, but the way his features contorted in what crossed me as confusion, didn’t settle with me so well. “Is everything okay?”
“Uhmm,” he reached up to scratch at the back of his head. “Well lately I - I have, I mean I think,” Tae was never one who usually fumbled over his words.
“What is it Tae?” I frowned at him. “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m uh fine. I - I just don’t know how to say this.” He nervously stammered.
“Just say it,” I replied in a much more collected manner.
“It’s just that lately, umm I’ve been feeling,” he paused a moment and stared at me directly in the eyes, which calmed him. I was never fond of the color of my eyes, I once said brown was a boring color to have, that my eyes were ordinary. But Tae never felt that way, he told me he thought they were beyond magnificent. They were like copper against honey, the feeling of coming inside from the cold and wrapping yourself in a warm blanket on the sofa. They were breathtakingly beautiful, just like my entire being. At the time I thought nothing of it, but now?
“Tae?” My voice rang out and broke his chain of thought.
“Oh fuck it,” Taehyung mumbled before he cupped my cheeks in the palms of his hands, his thumbs caressing the apples of my heated cheeks. I had no time to register what was happening as he closed the distance between the two of us. The moment his lips brushed against mine, I dropped the cup I was holding, the liquid contents splashing the both of our shoes, but I could care less. My hands instantaneously reached out to grasp at the fabric of his shirt, the thrumming sound of my heartbeat drowned out the noise around us. A content, yet shaky sigh escaped his lips once he pulled back from me.
““Y/n - I’m in lo-,” Taehyung began but was interrupted, making him drop his hands away and hastily step away from me.
“Changkyun! Hi!” I said much louder than you meant, obviously caught off guard.
“Long time no see Taehyung,” my former boyfriend patted Tae on his shoulder. “You still owe me dance Y/n.”
I was numb to my surroundings, the kiss with Taehyung left me utterly shocked, it wasn’t like any other kiss I’ve ever had. The reappearance of my first and only boyfriend, the only boy I’ve ever loved and truly felt for, all of this was too much for me. I looked back and forth between the two boys, both wanting my undivided attention, how was I supposed to choose?
A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Don’t forget to check out the first two chapters!!
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Riverdale Liveblogs 3x07 - 3x13
Instead of making you all suffer through six separate liveblogs as I was catching up, have them all in on post!
3x07, “The Man in Black”
Remember when Jughead was the biggest woobie ever with a bunch of sad shit happening to him. Fun times. Honestly, Jughead’s just really taking advantage of finally being on the roadtrip he was denied
Justice for Jingle Jangle. Why did we need a new drug? Or I’d be fine with it complementing the other but NOooOooOOOO. It’s trying to shove JJ out of the spotlight!
Elvis’ granddaughter could’ve just drugged the eggs but instead she chose to nearly give Archie a concussion. Hiram might chop her head off if his Archiekins gets permanent brain damage
Let Archie kill a man!! Jughead got to skin someone who was fucking up his life. Why can’t he let Archie take his shot!? I can’t hear you about consequences
Your business is failing because trading away the final piece of the Soutshide to open a vanity project in the form of a dry speakeasy was not a great idea. Also, gamers can give you business. I’ve seen it!
The show can make Veronica say all these supposedly empowering lines, but I’m never going to forget that she supported a for-profit prison
MAYBE MY DAD’S NOT SO BAD!!?!?
This voiceover was completely unnecessary. Honestly, it’s sort of a slap in the face to Lili’s acting as if they didn’t think she could convey certain things without some hand holding
I’ve seen movies. They make you swallow that shit on the spot
So many negative thoughts being awkwardly confirmed
Honestly, this is what happens when you keep exploiting the place for abuses to help your investigations but never fucking shut it down
3x08, “Outbreak”
Does Moose need drugs to get it up? He said Midge liked to get wild, but methinks he liked it of his own volition as well. And just what I wanted. Shadowy makeouts while high on drug laced childhood candy
Kevin needs to find out who put a curse on his dick. ANOTHER hookup interrupted by bodies in danger
I don’t know why a group of high school boys acting like typical jackass high school boys with loud laughing is cause for thinking they’re all high.
“good people like Archie”
Gladys being a Jarchie shipper is pure. I will not stand for this no homoing
Wait, Cheryl did actually get to be Student Body President? I thought they were just going to let that circle the drain and disappear
MY FAVORITE INCOMPETENT EDUCATIONAL ADMINISTRATOR
THE PRISON WAS A FUCKING COVER?!?!? So all of S2 was just…oh my fucking god, I’m going to do drown myself
“good looking shortsatck” Love it. Goddamn, I love Gladys
Do they know that the way they write Hiram and Veronica feels like it’s been dipped in ten layers of incest? He talks to her like she’s the mistress he wants to bed
The affection the Jones women have for Archie is cute
The Gargoyle King being a hallucination is the most disappointing thing
TABLETOP RPGS ARE NOT FUCKING BORN OF MADNESS. Ugh, my inner geek is angry with rage
Oh, now you care about the kids in conversion therapy
So I guess they didn’t go to Toledo for Christmas??
Lili should get a raise for this Griffin Queen shit
I’m more emotional than I would usually be over these Fred scenes given Luke Perry’s recent condition
PROTECT THAT FUCKING DOG WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE!! THROW YOURSELF IN FRONT OF A BEAR
I missed alcoholic Hermione. And lmao this Watchmen realness
I love Silent!Kevin getting nothing to say in that office! Just fucking great
we need to know more about this fucking Governor. Racist piece of shit who gets upset about vandalized statues of genocidal war criminals, AND he’s under Hiram’s thumb.
3x09, “No Exit”
Will someone get bit by a monkey? I can only hope
Oh fuck off with the Star Wars reference. IT DOESN’T FIT
Stealing from the rich to give to the rich. How very one percenter. And Toni, all your friends are living in tents by the river
KEVIN. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ALWAYS JOIN THE WORST GROUPS
While the implication of Jughead sleeping over is nice, what the fuck was the point of last episode’s cliffhanger. This timeline makes no sense
I’M GETTING FIREWATCH VIBES
They’re so fucking low budget that they couldn’t even show the bear, LMAO
I forgot what Fangs sounded like. Didn’t FP retire? ARE THERE EVEN ANY ADULTS LEFT IN THIS FUCKING JOKE OF A GANG. But Damn, Fangs is good at crying. So pretty
Aww, I actually missed the hammy ass warden
Every time Joaquin’s name is mentioned, another dagger in my heart
The fact that the sisters have been fake nuns this whole time is just…what the fuck. AND THE FUCKING SOCIAL WORKER KNEW AND JUST LET THEM KEEP OPERATING!?!? LET THIS WHOLE FUCKING TOWN FALL INTO A HELLMOUTH
Remember when Jughead was outraged about the Serpents being paid security at the Pickens festival thing? Time is a flat circle
CHERYL, WHY DON’T YOU JSUT KILL HIRAM THEN
“SAVED”!??! REALLY NANA ROSE!?! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL THE CHILD GROOMING YOU DID!? And uh, Fred and Sierra should know about that sordid piece of Penelope’s past
Damn, Veggie is hot as fuck
You know who else could’ve gone undercover for the Serpents to infiltrate the Gargoyle gang?!????? I HATE YOU FOREVER, RAS. ANOTHER AU FOR THE DRAWER
3x10, “The Stranger”
LMAO that they tried to make us think Archie died
Being attacked by a bear in Canada means not having to suffer through crippling debt because of the hospital bill for the rest of your life
Sidenote, but I really thought the painting of Veronica would have a bug or something. The fact that she just kept the painting instead of burning it says something
Oh so the core four are THOSE type of friends
Betty’s money >> those kids
Claudius just doesn’t want to do actual work
They let a kid pass the first grade when he couldn’t read? So the educational system has always been rather shit
Hey there, Silent!Kevin! Just sitting silently with your slowly developing biceps
Does Reggie know what PTSD is
I spy with my little eyes Kevin in the corner putting his PE clothes away! Once again robbed of a shirtless scene
FUCKING TALL BOY!?!? Lol, this is really good for my drawer fic actually. Keep sounding like a spiteful man! It’s semi feeding me
Wow, they really crammed in two Varchie sex scenes
Hiram deserved this and every agonizing second of pain he felt
Raw milk, huh? Yeah, that’s all you need to bait Kevin into this cult
Bye Claudius, no one will miss you
I want Hermione/FP to fuck
Jughead throwing a party to make things better is the biggest twist this series has ever done
Archie the alcoholic, eh. If this lasts more than one episode, that’d sure be something
3x11, “The Red Dahlia”
This is the noir episode, isn’t it. I’m…really bad with noir so an episode from THIS team is going to be…very trying
Awww, FP mentioning Joaquin is an extra pang. I wanted to know more about their relationship
I’d love to see the notes on this draft when Jughead tries submitting it to a publisher. Unless he goes the self pub route
Who even runs the newspaper now?
Betty, you’re like the last person to talk about black and white morality
Archie sounds like the protagonist of Office Space at the end when he finds his calling in construction
ELIO HAS SPOKEN MORE THAN MELODY EVER DID. EAT SHIT, RAS
I still need Jughead and Veronica arguing about classic cinema
I wonder where Penelope learned those crocodile tears, Nana. Like I never need a scene of her criticizing her ADOPTED DAUGHTER again
Cheryl is pretty forgiving of the uncle who sort of helped with her institutionalization
Have these boys never watched an episode of Breaking Bad? Put that body in a barrel
So has Veronica had a change of heart about Daddykins? I’m so confused
SMITHERS!?!? YOu’RE STILL ALIVE!? Protect this man
Remember when Betty was a camgirl for ten seconds and watched all of her fake brother’s porn videos
Josie’s voice is pure butter, and the show needs to stop pretending that we want to hear anyone else sing
Why doesn’t Toni have a job at Veronica’s dry speakeasy? She used to be an actual bartender!
“Kevin’s dad boxes at the gym” being a line from Josie is the most beautiful line in this episode
Well at least they explained the seizures.
YYYAAAAAASSSS, KELLY RIPPA!!
What is even the point of Minetta having faked his death just to be Hermione’s kept man
Well, damn, I really didn’t see this FP reveal coming. I wish he was the sheriff Hermione was fucking. And given all the things Jughead used to say and aim at Keller, it’s interesting to see him have to deal with his dad being somewhat in Hermione’s pocket
PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER, ARCHIE
Lmao at this Bad Boys line. I see you, synergy
Honestly, how dare Archie shoot the person who was going to kill Hiram. I guess that’s one way to bury the Archie/Hiram grudge
Hermione’s trigger finger is life goals
3x12, “Bizarrodale”
So first off, fuck that title and everything it implies.
Second, this is the episode where I’m supposed to finally get fed, eh? FINGERS CROSSED
I forgot what Kevin sounded like after not talking for four episodes
WHEN CAN WE MEET KEVIN’S MOM!?!? I HAVE MANY FANCASTS
Veronica watches Netflix confirmed, and yet I guess she just scrolls past Orange is the New Black every time it’s recommended to her
Why are Kevoose makeouts always in shadow? Is it to disguise the fact that when they makeout it’s with their lips sealed shut
The actor who plays Major Mason followed me back on my burner instagram
Awww, Sweet Pea is a relationship guy with a gooey little heart!
Sierra pegs Tom confirmed. Love these two kinky fuckers
The way Tom says “Gargoyle King” goes straight to my nether regions
So does Britta have a kink for people outing others against their will? I swear this is a plot point in Ship It too
I feel like these issues are something they should’ve talked about way more. Making Moose’s coming out be an ultimatum is pretty gross
How DARE they not let us hear Josie sing?!??! Ohhhh, if we’d heard Josie sing then we would sent death threats to the fake Juilliard board. I never want to hear Josie’s teary little voice again because it hurts my feelings
Lmao, this is the second time a parent has been judgmental of how the Lodges involve Veronica in their business
Remember that time Moose and Cheryl made out? I’m forever traumatized by that
Hiram and Hermione strolling in like a fucked up Gomez and Morticia
I’m sure that Dilton would approve of his friend from another lifetime using his secret bunker to pop his cherry. But only Moose. Yes, I ship comics Dilton/Moose
Oh, HeeEYEEEEEEE, IT’S LIKE A BUNCH OF MY FIC DREAMS COME TO LIFE. Wow, I finally got pandered to. Kevin being in dagner is like…the basis of the majority of my drawer fics
I’M FUCKING PSYCHIC X2!!!! Well huh, this puts that earlier diner scene in a new light
Yesss, please keep calling him Tommy and talking about how Kevin looks like your old friend with that sad, wistful tone. Please feed my fic bunnies
Christ, Ashleigh has such a fucking amazing voice. I can actually bear KJ’s singing
Moose having to leave makes sense. ALSO MAKE SURE YOU WATCH CODY”S SHOW ON NETFLIX TO MAKE THIS WORTH IT
I never want to see Kevin cry again. Fucking Maramaduke
Gladys can step on me, and I’d apologize
3x13, REQUEIM FOR A WELTERWEIGHT
I’M FINALLY ALL FUCKING CAUGHT UP
I don’t think that bacon is fully cooked
So Veronica just decided to not move back out because the path of least resistance?? And she’s back in her Daddy’s clutches because....he got shot???
The Serpent with the awesome dreads is still there! Can he be an actual character with a name? He deserves it
Between last episode and this one, I am being fucking BLESSED with Daddy Keller content.
VERONICA IS a FUCKING REPUBLICAN CONFIRMED. I guess we all know who scrolled right past 13th on Netflix!
They’re really trying to sweep up their awkward plot mistakes from last season, eh
I need a flashback of young Alice in this ugly fucking wedding dress
This is some Rocky and Mickey shit. Hopefully Keller doesn’t have a heart attack while confronting Mr. T
YES, GLADYS!!! CALL OUT THAT LEADERSHIP!
San Junipero water, huh.
Why is Archosie so perfect
Ehhhh, the last time they talked was eight episodes ago. Will this scene be about how Kevin’s recovering post-Moose?? Of course not. My hopes for investigative Kevin are once again yanked away. Though of course remember that time she got him to catfish a murderer without telling him that Chic had killed someone?? Fun times
“cute gay farmies”
Veronica is the opposite intimidating ESPECIALLY in the face of Gladys who we all know has actually fucked up a bitch
The monstrous Freeform ate Malachai, eh. Ghoulie jackets are still the best jackets
I’ve never watched Apocalypse Now so this scene is wasted on me
THUNDERDOME!!?!?
Keller looks like he gives good hugs
How the fuck did Jason learn about The Farm?
This is Polly’s revenge for being sent to the Sisters
It’s awkward how Choni just sort of disappeared from the episode
Damn, Archosie has everything going on
Hermione, you should’ve just killed Hiram when you had the chance
PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER JUGHEAD!
Gladys doling out gang advice is just everything I wanted from her
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