#I wanted to get to this specific moment so I could back track their progression

[bunsandstuff]

I finally got her to my happy place, now I can do those gposes ♡

But allow me to gush first. This is of course spoilers for Shadowbringers if you've never played it

Like omg Iove how confident he sound here. Like "Yeah please, you know I'm gorgeous." Like sir please! He's changed so much in those two years and I love seeing that right out the gate. He's right at you in appearance but also personality. The writers were like yeah we could tell you his time with mischievous pixies for two years has changed him, but let us SHOW you. I know what's to come later, but this moment is one of my favorites. That's why I love him, he's so well written.

[queenimmadolla]

Summary: After making a scene and storming out of Eddie's trailer, you're left to wonder if you even have a boyfriend anymore, since he hasn't spoken to you in three days.

a/n: congratulations. you bitches wore me down. you all know how much i HATE angst with no happy endings so enjoy me fixing it.

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

word count: 3.3k

  It’d been days since the fight in Eddie’s trailer. Days.

  You were mad as hell when you’d left, so mad you almost appeared calm. You’d angrily cried on the drive back home, hot tears leaking steadily past your lashes as you scowled and you were sure they left a trail of mascara behind.

  You’d dodged your mother when you got home, unwilling to face the barrage of questions she’d  send your way that would no doubt trigger a breakdown. The last thing you needed was anyone asking if you were okay.

  Besides, you thought you’d be fine. Eddie would get the point, come to his senses and be at your front door a little past dinner to apologize for hurting your feelings.

  You’d composed yourself to the best of your ability while you ate, forking the food on your plate down with the excuse of having not had lunch when your mother started questioning you and then hurried back upstairs to your room.

  Your landline was plucked from its place on your nightstand drawer and set on your bed in front of you. When half an hour passed, you assumed Eddie was still wrestling with his pride. When half an hour turned into an hour and a half, you started wondering if maybe he was still cooling down from the argument. He’d call.

  By 2 a.m., the tears were back and speeding effortlessly from the corners of your eyes, down the bridge of your nose to meet your pillowcase as you realized he wasn’t going to call.

  He didn’t call the next day, either. Or the day after that. 

  The two of you weren’t in school anymore, so you couldn’t track him down in the halls but you didn’t want to go find him. You wanted him to come find you, you wanted him to chase after you when you left his trailer, you wanted him to call you and tell you he loved you and you wanted him to not bring girls who wanted him the way you did over to his trailer. 

  You wanted Eddie. But you wouldn’t go crawling back, your heart may have been wailing in agony but your pride was howling at you, wounded and bleeding.

  Were you broken up? You hadn’t intended for your exit to be the end, but by day three, you were starting to get the feeling it was over.

  And despite how badly you wanted to, you couldn’t rot in bed. You had responsibilities, a job. You’d called into the arcade the first two days but you couldn’t put it off forever, couldn’t avoid leaving your house because you feared running into Eddie.

  Yes, you were desperate to see him, but under your specific conditions. What if you ran into him and he confirmed the two of you were over? What if he was with that girl you’d seen leaving the trailer? He said he’d given her a deal for flirting with him, had it progressed? Was he rebounding?

  The more you thought about it, the more sad you got. Samantha Stone, your former lab partner and current co-worker had stepped in to awkwardly comfort you when you kept dipping into the back room to cry and eventually sent you home with the promise she could handle the riveting crowd of three plaguing the arcade.

  You’d kicked off your shoes and thrown your bag onto the floor the moment you got into your room, but you hadn’t changed, just fell face first onto your bed as your tears mingled with your comforter.

  And that’s how you found yourself thinking about how long it had been since that damn fight. Maybe you were overreacting. Sure, Eddie had been a little intimidating in high school, but he’d also had no trouble in the romance department. He’d told you he’d been cynical about it, since it never went beyond sex, but he’d also said that had been before you had looked twice at him. 

  Unfortunately for you, the stupid ass curse that comes with having a boyfriend struck you. Now that Eddie had a girlfriend, all of a sudden he was a wanted man, even more so than he had been in the past.

  You’d seen girls overstep, had been waiting for him in the van during a deal while you watched one reach a hand out to caress his arm and it had taken everything in you to not storm out of the van to tear the offending appendage off and beat her silly with it.

  Maybe you really were just blowing things out of proportion because of your jealousy. Maybe you owed Eddie the apology. Would he even accept your apology? It had been days, after all. Maybe he’d take you back if you groveled. Tears were a no brainer, you were pretty emotional and aware you were in a somewhat manic state, so they’d come the moment you caught sight of him again. Your feelings, your love for him, and this stupid mess would overwhelm you.

  You glanced at your phone, still poised on your bed and taunting you without a single ring. Your mother would have mentioned it if he called. He hadn’t.

  You wanted Eddie.

  That singular sentence plagued you, wrapping around your heart over and over again, constricting like a boa until you felt like you couldn’t breathe, like you were about to have a heart attack. You could hear the loud and insistent banging that was your heartbeat, beating in time with your much too fast breaths.

  Eddie was the last thing you thought of before you shut down, body allowing exhaustion to overcome you to stop your impending panic attack.

  You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep, eyes prying open to your room shrouded in darkness. A lazy glance at the window confirmed night had fallen and you sagged further into your bedding, sighing when you remembered you’d fallen asleep in your work uniform which meant you couldn’t slip back under the veil of rest and peace until you’d gotten out of it.

  You sat up, fingers gripping onto the hem of your shirt to lift it. 

  A flash of movement at the foot of your bed caught your attention just before you raised your shirt over your head and you nearly had a heart attack as you fell back, quickly reaching for your lamp.

  The warm glow of it illuminated the room and revealed Eddie standing near the foot of your bed, hands up to show he meant no harm.

  “Sorry,” he gave a brief huff of laughter, mouth pulled into a nervous smile, “didn’t mean to scare you. Your mom let me in.”

  Your heart calmed instantly at the sight of him, but your anxiety made its presence known, sinking into your belly.

  He’s here to break up with you, it whispered.

  You pulled your shirt back down, smoothing it out to give you something to do. Suddenly, you were incapable of words, nonverbal as your mouth refused to part. Your heart had won the battle with your pride and was desperate to beg him to forgive you for overreacting, would say anything to get him to hold you but you were paralyzed.

  Eddie cleared his throat, a hand reaching up to scratch his head before he sat down on the edge of your bed and you took him in.

  The most apparent difference in his appearance was the dullness of his eyes and the bags under them. Eddie was usually so full of life, an eccentric being buzzing with a sort of energy at all times, even when he was pretending to be the cool, collected bad boy. Now, he looked tired. And he had a light dusting of scruff on his jaw and cheeks.

  Eddie never had facial hair. Hated it. He’d tried it out once, he wasn’t fond of not being able to feel your kisses directly against his skin, and it made him itchy so it didn't last long.

  He shaved everyday to make sure he could feel your lips on him and the reminder made tears pool at your waterline once more.

  “Look, I─”

  “I’m sorry!” You rushed out, cutting him off as emotion muddled your voice and made your throat thick with it. The tears followed, just as you’d predicted they would when confronted by Eddie, “I’m so sorry, you were right, I was overreacting! I was just jealous, you can bring whoever you want to your trailer, I know it’s just business. I was just stupid and jealous and upset, you were right to not call me, and I’m sorry!”

  Eddie’s mouth parted, eyebrows rising in bewilderment.

  Then he was kicking off his shoes and climbing onto your bed, softly hushing you as he pulled you into his arms and you sobbed against his shirt, relieved to finally have Eddie back.

  You hadn’t thought he’d ever hold you again so you clung to him like a lifeline.

  Eddie held you tight, hand rubbing comfortingly over your back as he pressed kiss after kiss to your head and nuzzled his face there, trying to make sense of what was happening.

  After you’d left, he’d trashed his room. Well, more so than its usual state. He’d wanted you to come right back after you stormed out, was hoping you would—but like an idiot, Eddie just stared at the door as his mind replayed the entire conversation, emphasizing the moment he’d crossed the line. By the time he finally snapped out of his stupor and ran out after you, you were gone.

  Eddie was frustrated with himself, so he took it out on his room. When that was done, he’d grabbed a beer from the fridge, a joint from his stash and got crossed on the couch out front as he thought about the fight.

  He had no interest in anyone who wasn’t you. None. And for some reason, you didn’t understand just how much he loved you, how not a singular fucking person on this giant rock could compare to you. Not Cindy Crawford, not Pam Grier, not Irene Cara, not a single member of Metallica, no one.

  You were Eddie’s favorite person. You were his person.

  And he made you feel like shit. The longer he thought about it, the guiltier he felt. It was easy to write off your behavior as jealousy, but your jealousy hadn’t been unwarranted.

  He couldn’t see the big deal about having her pick up weed from his place since she’d phoned to let him know she was already in the area, but when he imagined some random guy coming out of your home, you walking him out?

  Eddie saw red. The thought alone knocked the air out of him and it was a feeling he was keen to not experience.

  But you had. And instead of just owning up to his slip of the mind, he’d stuck to his guns and had promptly shot himself in the metaphorical foot, not before hurting you. You were upset, and you lashed out when you got like that. Eddie had realized a long time ago that you only made digs like that because you wanted him to tell you you were wrong without having to ask him.

  Only, Eddie hadn’t told you that no, he didn’t give her a deal for being ‘pretty and flirty’ as you’d accused. She had been flirty—yes, he felt even more guilty when he thought about it—but he’d been blunt and brief, exchanging the bag of nugs for cash before he was sending her back the way she came. You’d just been on the other side of the door when he’d opened it for her to leave.

  It looked fucking terrible. How the hell was he supposed to make this up to you??? He’d spent the remainder of the night lingering near the phone, picking it up and then putting it back on the receiver. Nothing he could think of was a worthy enough apology for you, and he assumed you didn’t even want to see him. Fuck, you’d been so upset.

  He ended up passing out on the couch.

  The next few days went the same, he tried to figure out what to say, how to to explain himself and dove for the phone anytime it rang. It was never you, but of course it was when Eddie was desperate to hear your voice on the other end of the line that all his usual customers had run out of weed and other things.

  And she had called. 

  Eddie wasn’t stupid, she’d smoked with him and a group of friends at a party once, she hacked up her lungs and coughed herself into delirium after one pull; there was no way she’d finished what Eddie had supplied to her that quickly. It certainly didn’t help that she knew Eddie had you, and she still kept up the flirting. You were right, Eddie knew what she was trying to do and he was a shit boyfriend for not turning her down outright. Eddie had nipped that problem in the bud over the phone.

  In his desperation, he’d done multiple drives by the arcade, too. You were never behind the counter, only that gothic chick that liked to curse people was.

  He got anxious fast, hoping like hell that you hadn’t broken up with him. When it became too much for Eddie, who missed seeing your beautiful face, he caved in and drove to your house, despite the fact that you might not want to see him. When your mom let him in instead of throwing pots and pans at him like he’d imagined she would, Eddie figured you hadn’t told her about the fight which gave him hope.

  Maybe you did still want him.

  There was no light under your bedroom door and when he knocked you hadn’t answered but Eddie walked in anyways, heart clenching at the sight of you sprawled on your bed asleep.

  God, how he’d missed you.

  Eddie found himself blinking back tears as he stared down at you. It was selfish of him, but he really wanted to wake you up, touch you, hold you, kiss you.

  And then he realized he was at your house uninvited, in your room, watching you while you slept. Could he get any fucking creepier? Jesus…

  Eddie had been in the middle of pacing a circle in your carpet, trying to play out how this conversation would go when you stirred and he froze.

  Then you sat up and he got a little excited when you started taking your shirt off, but Eddie was aware of how bad this could go if he didn’t announce his presence.

  You hadn’t started yelling at him like he expected, no. What you did was worse. You were apologizing. 

  He’d been inconsiderate, he’d put himself in a situation that would look bad to literally anyone who saw him knowing he was in a relationship, had hurt your feelings—even more so because you’d apparently been waiting for him, wanting him this whole time and he’d just been holed up in the trailer, phone in hand but never dialing. 

  “Baby,” he mumbled against your head, leaning back and moving his hands to frame your face, thumbs wiping your tears away as he angled your head up at him so you could see the sincerity on his face, in his eyes, “you have nothing to be sorry for.”

  You hiccuped and started, “But I─”

  “Shh, no. Let me say this okay?” Eddie waited for you to nod and when you did, he leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead and another to the tip of your nose.

  “You didn't overreact or do anything wrong, sweetheart. You were right. I knew exactly how she felt, and while I promise you I had no intentions of letting anything happen, I still shouldn’t have had her over. If the roles were reversed, I would’ve been jealous, mad, and really hurt. She called, tried to come over again and I told her I’m in love with you and I’m not interested in her. If she needs to replenish her supply, she’ll have to get it from Rick from now on. And I’ve never given her a deal. The only person who gets free weed is you, pretty girl.”

  You sniffled and his thumb stroked over your cheek once more. He added, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings and I’m sorry I didn’t call. I wanted to, so badly, but I didn’t know what to say or if you even wanted me to. I've been dying to see you, drove past the arcade a ton of times just to see if I could get a glimpse of you—your coworker, the scary one, flipped me the bird whenever she saw me, by the way.”

  That got a laugh out of you and Eddie grinned victoriously, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours, “I love you. I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too.” Your gaze dropped from his eyes, the brown in them now swirling with warmth, to his lips, “Can I kiss you?”

  “Oh, baby. You don’t ever have to ask.” Eddie didn’t wait for you to make the first move, closing the small distance to press a deep, chaste kiss to your lips. Once you were returning his kiss, he got a little more insistent, you realized this was Eddie’s way of asking for reassurance and you were more than willing to give it to him, parting your lips so your tongues could meet again.

  The two of you made out on your bed at a leisurely pace as you reaffirmed your love for each other. When things got heated, and you soon found yourself on your back with Eddie on top of you and between your legs, he pulled away from your mouth with a smack, and winced.

  “I really want to have makeup sex, baby, but I’m about to pass out. I haven’t been sleeping well.” Rarely has Eddie slept without you, add in you being upset with him and he could barely sleep at all. The last thing he wanted to do was pass out while he was inside you and leave you unsatisfied. 

  You laughed, pulling him down for another kiss, “That's okay. We can fuck in the morning.”

  Eddie let out the most pornographic moan at the mental image and you laughed again as you shushed him, “Eddie! My mom will hear you!”

  Reluctantly he rolled off you to undress, yanking off his pants while you shimmied out of yours, pulled your shirt off and discarded your bra. When Eddie yanked his shirt over his head and tossed it towards the ground, you’d intercepted it and pulled it over your own head.

  Eddie gave you a very appreciative onceover before he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to will his hard-on away, “Down, boy.”

  You snuggled up to his side, and he pulled you into his arms, throwing your blanket over the both of you and letting out a sigh of content as you nuzzled your face into his neck, “Fuck, I missed this. Missed you.”

  “Missed you, too, Eds.”

  “Next time you get mad at me, I’m sitting on the hood of your car so you can’t leave.”

  “That’s fine with me.”

  “Or maybe you can just kick my ass instead of leaving.”

  “No, I like it too much.”

  Eddie’s chest shook with quiet laughter and you smiled, eyes fluttering shut. 

  This time, when sleep finally overcame you, your heart wasn’t in pain or beating loudly in your ears. It was nestled against you, and snoring into your hair. 

[batshotcrazy]

arranged marriage - bruce wayne

authors note : italics and in blue is readers thoughts btw

summary : a marriage for show

pairing : bruce wayne x gn!reader

part one here, part two here, part four here (in progress)

previously :

bruce noticed your nervous behavior, the way you picked at your fingers and bit your lip. he wasn't oblivious to what that meant. raising an eyebrow as you shook your head, your body language betrayed you. "bullshit," he said bluntly. "you're hiding something. i can tell."

you take a deep breath, and the more you think about this whole arranged marriage, the more you feel like you can't go through with it. "i can't do this," you say.

bruce's expression grew more serious as he saw you take a deep breath. he could tell something was off. sitting up straighter in his chair, he fixed his gaze on you. "can't do what?" he asked sharply. "be more specific."

you take a deep breath and fold your arms as you walk away, feeling his blue eyes piercing into your soul, making you even more anxious. "this whole situation bruce, everything."

bruce's eyes tracked you as you walked away, his face growing more stern. he noticed the anxiety on your face, and it frustrated him that you wouldn't come out with what was on your mind. rising from his chair, he loomed over you. "this whole thing ?" he echoed, is voice icy. "you'll need to be clearer. i'm fed up with your evasiveness."

"this arranged marriage bruce," you say firmly, turning to face him with your arms still crossed. he looks surprised and takes a moment to think before crossing his own arms and leaning back. the longer you look at him, the stronger these feelings, or whatever they are, become. you have to turn away to maintain your composure.

the room was filled with tension as your words lingered. bruce seemed surprised by your sudden revelation, instinctively crossing his arms as he took in what you said. he stood silently for a moment, his thoughts racing. he hadn't anticipated you mentioning the arranged marriage so bluntly and was unsure of how to react. he noticed your reaction too, seeing you look away, trying to stay "together".

he examined your face, trying to figure out what you were thinking. "why are you bringing this up now ?"he asked, his voice tinged with frustration and curiosity. "we agreed to this a long time ago. it's too late to back out now."

you scoff and shake your head. "that's all you care about, that damn deal bruce," you say, clearly annoyed. taking another deep breath, you move to sit in the chair he was just in, unable to look at him any longer.

bruce's irritation grew as you scoffed and shook your head. it wasn't just the deal that concerned him, but wasn't ready to share his true thoughts. he watched you sit in the chair he had just vacated, feeling a part of him wanting to stop you but deciding against it. he stayed standing, arms crossed, his annoyance intensifying. "you still didn't answer me," he said firmly. "why are you bringing this up now ?"

he could see the frustration on your face, matching his own feelings at the moment. he wanted an answer and wasn't going to let you avoid the question. "are you unhappy with the arrangement ?" he asked, his voice still firm. "is that what this is about ?"

"because feelings are in the way," you say quietly, just loud enough for him to hear. you turn the chair away from him, unable to look at him for another second.

bruce's eyes narrowed as you turned the chair away. feelings ? what did you mean by that ? he stepped closer, driven by curiosity and frustration. "what kind of feelings ?" he asked, his tone almost demanding.

"what do you think bruce ? this whole argument is because of it," you say as you get up and walk out of the study, heading back to your room and passing alfred on the way.

bruce watched you leave, feeling more conflicted than ever because of your words. your outburst caught him off guard, making him realize that perhaps he had been too harsh before. frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair, regretting not noticing how his words affected you. as he leaned back against his desk, he heard alfred's concerned voice from the door. "is everything alright, master wayne ?" alfred asked, clearly worried.

bruce sighed in defeat, his shoulders drooping as he glanced at alfred. "it's just a disagreement, alfred," he said tiredly. "nothing for you to worry about." he moved away from the desk and wandered over to the bookshelf, pretending to examine the leather-bound books, though his mind was clearly elsewhere.

alfred gave bruce a knowing look, not convinced by his excuse. "master wayne," he said softly, "i've known you for a long time, and i can always tell when something is bothering you." alfred stepped further into the study, stopping a few feet away. "what's really troubling you about this disagreement ?"

bruce looked at alfred, his eyes showing a touch of vulnerability. he knew alfred was perceptive and that there was no use in trying to deceive him. he sighed deeply, leaning back against the bookshelf. "it's this whole marriage arrangement," he confessed, running a hand through his hair. "things are ... more complicated than i expected."

alfred raised an eyebrow, noting the unusual vulnerability in bruce's tone. "complicated how, sir ?" he asked, crossing his arms.

bruce sighed again in frustration, his thoughts still spinning. "it's ... her," he said, his voice tinged with what sounded like confusion. "she's getting under my skin, alfred. i can't control my emotions around her, and it's driving me crazy."

alfred listened silently, his face expressionless. he had watched Bruce navigate many relationships, but none seemed to impact him like this one. "can i ask what exactly about her is causing such a strong reaction, sir ?" he inquired. "is she saying or doing something specific that's making this so difficult for you ?"

bruce frowned, his jaw tightening as he thought it over. "she's stubborn, and she won't just accept things the way i want her to," he said, his voice tinged with irritation. "she's always defying me and questioning my actions, and it's like she has this unique ability to get under my skin." he ran a hand through his hair again, feeling the tension rise within him. "and then, on top of all that ... there's this strange, almost magnetic pull i feel towards her," he admitted reluctantly.

bruce shook his head, attempting to dismiss those thoughts. "but it doesn't matter," he said firmly, his voice regaining its usual hardness. "this is just a business arrangement, and there's no room for feelings in it."

alfred raised an eyebrow at bruce's response, clearly unconvinced. "is it possible that in your effort to convince yourself this is purely a business arrangement, you've blinded yourself to the possibility of something more ?" he asked gently.

bruce bristled at the suggestion, his jaw tightening. "no, alfred," he said firmly, leaving no room for debate. "i know what this is. it's a business deal. nothing more." he turned away from alfred, walked over to the desk, and resumed his usual stoic demeanor. he didn't want to discuss it any further.

alfred studied bruce's face, noting the determination etched in his features. he realized there was no point in pressing the matter further at the moment. "very well, master wayne," he said neutrally. "just remember, sometimes it's worth stepping back and re-evaluating things from a different perspective." with that, alfred turned and left the room, leaving bruce alone with his brooding thoughts once again.

bruce watched alfred leave the room, feeling his frustration build. he knew alfred meant well, but he wasn't in the mood for philosophical advice. leaning back in his chair, he stared at the ceiling. maybe alfred was right, and he had been so focused on seeing this arrangement as purely business that he had shut down any other possibilities. but that didn't matter, he told himself. feelings had no place in this arrangement. end of story.

time skip to later that night

you toss and turn in bed not able to get comfortable, the fight you and bruce had today keeps running through your mind, it's the only thing you can think abt did he really just think of this whole thing as a business deal ? nothing more? am i just a piece of eye candy for him and the public ? you make your way downstairs and into the kitchen to get a drink and sit in the backyard in hopes to get your mind off of the whole situation.

bruce, still stewing from the argument earlier, didn't notice you walking into the kitchen and heading outside at first. he had been pacing the halls, unable to shake off the uneasy feeling that had settled over him. his mind kept replaying the conversation over and over. as he walked past the window, he happened to glance outside and saw you sitting on the back porch.

you sit in the lawn chair and close your eyes and try thinking abt anything but the argument but even still it's all you can think abt, the silence and cool air does help a little bit to help you relax but your mind is still racing a mile a minute.

bruce kept watching you through the window. seeing you sitting there with your eyes closed, trying to relax, tugged at something deep inside him. he couldn't explain it, but he felt an almost overwhelming urge to come out and comfort you, to apologize for his harsh words. but he held back, letting his logical side win over his emotions. instead, he kept watching me from inside, his eyes fixed on your tense form.

finding it hard to unwind, you start to get annoyed. you open your eyes and stare blankly into the distance, your eyes welling up. his words keep replaying in your mind: "this is all business, there's no place for feelings or intimacy. i just need you to act like a happy wife in public, that's all. nothing more." if it's just business and no emotions, maybe he should find a different 'wife’ ? you begin to sniffle even more.

unknowingly, bruce's face softened when he noticed the tears forming in your eyes. he could see the hurt and frustration written all over your face, clearly showing the impact of his harsh words. he muttered a curse under his breath, his heart tightening at the sight of your sorrow. even though he tried to remain distant, he couldn't ignore the growing guilt and concern inside him.

he inhaled deeply, and before he knew it, he was heading out of the house and into the backyard. as he got closer, he saw your shoulders trembling with silent sobs. seeing you so broken and alone pulled even harder at his heart.

he halted a few feet from you, unsure of what to say. he wanted to comfort you, but his pride and stubbornness kept him from doing so. he just stood there in silence, watching you and battling with his conflicting emotions.

you sensed someone behind you and wiped your nose. "i'm okay, alfred, you can go," you said without turning around, unable to face him considering your current state.

bruce sighed and stepped closer, the grass crunching under his feet. "it's not alfred," he said softly, his voice a mix of gentleness and roughness. "it's me."

you froze, your body stiffening as you recognized his voice. slowly, you turned your head to face him, your tear-streaked face revealing the intense emotions within you. bruce's eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, he was captivated. seeing your tear-filled eyes pulled at his heart in a way he hadn't expected.

"what do you want ?" you ask, attempting to appear somewhat composed in front of him.

bruce inhaled deeply, his face showing signs of inner turmoil. witnessing your vulnerability and distress affected him, making it difficult to keep up his usual indifferent facade. "i just ..." he started, his voice wavering slightly. "i saw you out here and ... i wanted to check if you're okay."

"i'm fine." you don't even look at him as you say it. you turn to stand up and head back inside, knowing that if you talk to him any longer tonight, you’ll break down even more.

as you stood up to head inside, bruce instinctively reached out and grabbed your arm, halting you. "no, you're not," he said firmly, though his voice carried a note of concern. "you've been out here crying, and you look like you're about to fall apart. please, don't lie to me."

"i'm not in the mood right now, bruce." you pull your arm back and walk inside.

bruce followed you inside, quickening his pace to keep up with you. "you can't just keep avoiding me every time we disagree," he said, frustration evident in his voice. "this is childish."

you stop dead in your tracks and turn to him. "childish ? i'm being childish ?" the anger and hurt in your voice are clear, and you start tearing up even more.

bruce flinched at the hurt and anger in your voice, but he pressed on. "yes, it's childish. this constant running away and avoiding me whenever you can. it's childish and solves nothing. we need to talk about this."

you scoff at his words. "no, this whole 'arranged marriage' is what's childish, bruce." we stand in silence for a moment.

bruce's jaw tightened at your words, his frustration growing. he hated that you kept bringing up that this was an arrangement. "you knew the circumstances before we started this," he said, his voice strained. "it was never meant to be a love story or a fairytale. it's just a business deal, nothing more."

"nothing more" those two words repeat in your head once more "right, this is all business, there's no room for feelings or intimacy and you just need me to play the part of a happy wife in public, that's all. nothing more." a slight pause "maybe this whole arranged marriage, oh wait sorry this whole business transaction wasn't a good idea." you go to walk away but stop, "maybe you should find a different wife that can do it better bc i'm done." you say as you walk away back to your room.

bruce's heart ached as you repeated his words, his guilt and regret intensifying. seeing the hurt and anger in your eyes was tearing him apart. "wait ! (they don’t love you like i love you)" he called out, taking a step forward, desperate to stop you from walking away. "please, just hear me out for a moment."

"no, bruce, i'm done. done," you say as the tears well up again and your voice starts to tremble. "i can't do it anymore."

bruce's heart hurts as he saw the tears streaming down your face again, the sound of your voice breaking like a knife twisting in his chest. he stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do. this wasn't how he wanted things to turn out. after a few moments of silence, he spoke, his voice rough but with a touch of vulnerability. "just ... stop. stop for a minute and let me talk. please."

you shake your head and sigh. "talk about what, bruce ? how this is just a business deal with no feelings involved and how i should've known what i was getting into ? thanks, but i've heard that enough times from you today. save it."

with a growl of frustration, bruce stepped closer. "that's not what i want to say, damn it. just listen !" he snapped, his emotions starting to boil over. he moved even closer, standing so near that he had to look down to meet your eyes. "you think this is easy for me ? you think i don't feel conflicted about all of this ? that i don't have feelings too ?"

[mister-qi]

Mr. Qi Friendship and Romance Mod: 4/19 Progress Update

It's a working title, I'm trying to come up with something less wordy that still will pop up in Nexus searches.

I wanted to be able to track my progress, mainly for myself, but if you're curious, this is the state of the mod right now:

Writing:

Heart Events - the 2 heart event is fully written (with blocking directions), and the 6, 8, and 10 heart events are outlined. The 4 heart cutscene currently has me a bit stumped; I have ideas, but nothing concrete yet. I definitely now understand why Sam's 4 heart cutscene is him dropping an egg. 14 hearts is on the back-burner as a little treat to myself once I get further into things.

Generic Daily Dialogues - about 1/3 done, probably the highest priority for writing. I'm leaving his vanilla casino dialogue as the two heart dialogue, and the vanilla Walnut Room dialogue as his four heart dialogue, with a few small changes. And, since it's me, I have more marriage dialogue written than anything else...

Day-Specific Dialogues - very few written, lower priority. Hoping to have a lot of these made eventually, and I have plenty of ideas, but they aren't necessary for the core of the mod so they're on the back-burner for now.

Gift Dialogues - all 5 generic gift response dialogues are written, with an additional 22 dialogue lines for specific items/groups of items. I'm also up to around item 530 in figuring out what item corresponds to which dialogue/whether or not he likes it. Certain item groups, like cooked food, still need more lines, however. This is definitely something that should be low priority, but also something I'm really enjoying working on. Some personal favorites so far are-

[if given a fish (hated)]: "Eugh, it's all slimy..."

[if given a legendary fish (disliked)]: "If you must give me one of the rarest fish in the valley, can you at least wrap it so I don't have to touch it with my bare hands?"

And I think that's pretty funny.

Art

Portraits - 3 new portraits finished: "deep frown" "glint" and "glasses-less". I'll probably be messing with "glasses-less" for a looong while; it's first shown at a dramatic moment so it needs to look good. Blushing portraits are next on the docket.

Here's "glint" btw, with a background thrown on so I can have a custom icon. You know I gotta make him do the anime glasses thing a few times.

Sprites - no progress yet. Walk cycle is up next after I finish the blushing portraits. Did you know he doesn't have a walk cycle at all? [1.6 spoilers] in the cheated Summit cutscene where he attacks(?) you, he literally just slides at you very fast. Anyways, I may also change his map sprite a bit as well, since it was drawn to match his old portrait and doesn't actually have the same color scheme as his sprites. Note to self: is it possible to make the sparkles on his outfit prismatic?

Maps - no progress yet. The 6 heart and 10 heart cutscenes both require custom maps, with the 6 heart one being a fully custom asset. 10 heart recycles some existing assets but will still need some custom stuff done as well.

Misc Sprites - in my head, there's a dream version of the 8 heart cutscene that has so, so many unique sprites. Like an incredible amount of stuff. I think it'll kick ass, but also that sequence could be done with a few lines of text. So, for now, it's low priority. But maybe in a few months I'll put out a request for help.

Implementation

Not totally sure how to split this into sections yet, as I'm very much still in the preliminary stages so far. To say that I'm feeling overwhelmed is an understatement; documentation on the wiki swings wildly between "an asset is a file in a video game" and "this is an advanced tutorial. Read these 4 other pages first before continuing."

I've started using Ms. Coriel's NPC Creator which has been good for setting up the basic file structure, but ultimately doesn't cover some of the more complex stuff I want to do. EDIT: Turns out it's completely outdated for 1.6! Had to throw out a bit of work, but I still learned from it so it's fiiine.

I think setting up his "schedule" will be a challenge, in that I don't actually want him to have a real schedule like most NPCs. Not to pull back the curtain too much here, but I want him to "exist" in both the Casino and the Walnut Room simultaneously, which is to say, he does not exist in two places at once in the narrative, just in the code. This will change after marriage, however.

My next goal is to set up placeholder cutscenes for each of the heart events, and then to implement the generic daily dialogues once those are finished.

Final Notes

God, this will be a work in progress for a while, but I'm enjoying it! Definitely enjoying the writing more than anything else, but hey, that's how it be. I've got around 70 lines of dialogue written, a bit of art done, and I've started learning how to actually get stuff in game. I've always been more of a designer than a coder, but it's getting there!

ADDITIONALLY I've decided that if I abandon this project for more than 8 months, anyone is welcome to request my work so far and use it for their own mod. If this blog hasn't posted in a long while, feel free to send me an ask or message! I may say no, however.

Ultimately, I want this mod to exist in some fashion. While there is an existing one, I have a pretty different take on the character and I want to share it with you all! Every line of dialogue, every heart event, every little detail needs to share something interesting about a character and their world. Yet, Mr. Qi is a mysterious guy, and I think some things should be left up to player interpretation. And I think it's crucial to be able to match his tone and voice to the vanilla game, while also expanding on his characterization. It's a fun challenge to write, and I hope the finished product, uh, well I hope it gets finished mostly, but I think it'll be pretty good.

Thanks for reading all this. This is largely just a stream of consciousness for myself, but I hope it's...interesting, or something?

[arogustus]

Splatband Analysis - The Beika Files

Gotta keep the Beika train rolling, folks, and what better way to do that than to stare at some fake tweets at 11 in the evening instead of sleeping, right?

I'm gonna be looking at these tweets to try and craft a progression of events for Beika. Try and hazard what his thoughts were behind every tweet and how his day went. Let's begin.

Edit: Oh, just to clear up, I got all these from Inkipedia's page for Splatune 3. Check it out if you'd like.

Anyway, onto the tweets.

Beika's day begins with Kikura being late, as is normal for her. This little event gets him to talk about how she quit the band but later rejoined, probably to show off that this seems to be normal behavior for Kikura. The way he says it ("Who else but Kiki,") makes it sound like she's prone to making decisions and then changing her mind soon after, to the point he and Uotora are used to it by now.

This little moment of band tomfoolery seems to kickstart a reminiscence tour for Beika, going from talking about Kikura's shenanigans to thinking about the music C-Side has made. The vibe here just screams "I love my band" here, talking about having fun with his bandmates and enjoying the cover ω-3 made of Clickbait. He's so sweet.

Buuuut, it seems that the happy times ended up leading to the bad times. He's gone from thinking about the good times making music to how "Now or Never" was stolen from C-Side. Note the language here, "C-Side Original". Even if it's clear he wrote the song, he attributes it as a team effort, how sweet!

It's a jarring jump, though, and the next tweet seems to give an idea of his mental state.

Asking people to tell him that eating dinner, alone, drunk, is perfectly normal and in fact better than anything else. Safe to say that once he started thinking about "Now or Never", Beika just... spiraled downwards, and got smashed to cope while alone at home. Pauses the start of a massive rant to have his followers convince him that he's fine.

Back on track, his mind is still on "Now or Never". He starts off by making it clear he's fine with Deep Cut's version, probably trying to clear up that his beef is with Ichiya specifically, which is made extra clear when he starts to talk about him.

He tries to brush off Ichiya as just some dude he knew, but all the clues here point to the two having been close friends, and the betrayal hurt. And it's just Ichiya, he can't even be bothered to remember Squid Squad. Though he does explain he covered "Splattack" to show off, and states that he fully believes any of his fans could make music that's just as good (it sounds like a weird mix between a compliment to fans and a dig at Ichiya, that any amateur could make music at his level).

He does seem to give him the benefit of a doubt and says that he thinks he's gotten better at music. Probably just trying to be humble, or showing the one thing he's willing to give respect for.

This takes place the day after, now as sober Beika. He seems to be doing damage control by making it clear that he doesn't "hate" Inkopolis, and genuinely wants to make music for everyone.

And that's Beika's day. In summary, he got started thinking about the good times, and then it was downhill from there, mentally speaking.

[popawritter12]

Can I send a request of yandere Kenshi specifically masked kenshi.

Author's Notes: By “masked Kenshi” I imagine when he already has the bandana, right? I'm kind of bad at English, I'm sorry if this one-shot isn't as you expected.

BTW Im sorry for taking me so much time to make this :c

Yandere! Kenshi Takahashi x Fem! Reader

Yandere Character: Kenshi Takahashi

From the video game/manga/anime/movie/series: Mortal Kombat 1

Case: kidnapping, mention of escape, Stockholm syndrome.

Warnings: No.

Finished: Yes

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I always found his behavior strange.

Maybe that was why I initially wanted to get closer to him. It was mostly my cheap curiosity, though, he took it personally; thinking that I really was in love with him and was looking to have a life with him, even when that wasn't really the case. He locked me away and forced me to live this life, one I never sought, nor desired, but it was also not something I could face or counteract.

I still remember very well the night he took me away from everyone. It was cold and a little cloudy, but never cloudy enough for it to rain, it seemed that he had been waiting for this moment, a moment in which it was at any moment it could rain and thus clear his tracks, but at the same time be was going to give me enough time to take me away from everyone, to get away from this life that I always had.

The first nights in which he kidnapped me, I didn't have a very good time, so to speak, in the sense that he was quite strict and almost every time I responded badly or did something in a way that he didn't consider correct, he responded by screaming or trying to hurt me, condescending manner. And it was totally the opposite if it was “good.”

To tell the truth, I would never have suspected that this could happen, since the few conversations I had with him were focused on quests or with other people, and I found it surprising that it all ended this way.

But hey, at least I don't have chains on my hands 24 hours a day —Do I have them on my feet at night? Yes—, but it is necessary, important, just as I couldn't control the rest of the things and much less could I know what moment would be the right one to get out of here.

And although most of the time he was at home —or at least the time I was awake since I slept in the afternoon— and he was not very talkative so to speak…, in fact for the most part he always remained serious and without saying almost anything. no words.

I often get depressed thinking about the days before this, where I was happy, where I knew everyone and where I had friends everywhere, but now that was purely taken away from me. And although I understand his reasons fairly well, I consider them unfair, selfish and aberrant.

But at least his family came to visit me from time to time, even Cage came to visit me and gave me certain things like clothes or books.

In fact, I find it surprising that someone like him is the only one allowed to talk to me. And although when I asked him if he could try to convince Kenshi of the decisions he was making, but he just shook his head saying that it is a hopeless case, and that the best thing I could do was get used to it, even if it was an attempt.

Pathetic, was what I thought; It seemed quite strange to me that the only person who even had the possibility of helping me decided to simply turn his back on me and give me minimal things so that I could at least try to "get used to" this life that I have now.

But hey, nothing is worse.

Honestly, I kept thinking that maybe it would just be a passing feeling, something that he would temporarily feel that would last until a certain period, and that he would progressively let me go, letting me go…, but I would never be more wrong.

As the days went by he seemed to be gaining more confidence, which was the complete opposite of what I expected. Sometimes he brought me gifts, during the nights he asked me if I wanted to sleep with him, if he could stand next to me so he could protect me while I rested, and although sometimes I refused, eventually I had to give in and know that I would never have a normal life again.

I still remember one time I tried to escape, I tried to try and see how far he could go, to where he was going to chase me. I tried to go to several cities or even go many towns away, seeking even the support of someone like Liu Kang or any of his warriors to think about even going with the Ling Kuei, but I quickly ruled it out since I was at war with their “other half” of the family.

However, each attempt was worse than the last, since he always found me, sometimes faster, sometimes he took a few days, etc. It was strange to think how he knew where I was because he would even have found me even faster than I could think.

Even if he have sometimes raised his voice to me, i understand it in some point, maybe be because my attempts to escape being almost daily at one point.

He would constantly increase the number of chains on my body or simply add more security to the window or doors, but I always found some way to escape from those four walls.

However, those events were a couple of months ago; I would say about six. And in fact, thinking recently I realized that I was quite skilled at one point, being that I could go through entire towns and get tired only when I had just arrived, and only when I knew I was safe could I give myself a rest and a well-deserved lie down on a bed.

And now I knew there was no way to escape, that somehow I would always know where I was, that no matter where I went, I would always know when and how to find myself at the right moment, I knew that my life was condemned to remain by his side. , chained and locked in a place that almost no one knew.

And that's why today was a special day.

I barely managed to become aware of the time and time I was in; I got out of bed, gave the room a little order and approached the door at the entrance to my room, but before I could take the doorknob, he opened the door, a soft squeak of wood was heard. , silent.

—Hello, Kenshi, —I greeted, my voice softer than usual —, how did you wake up?

He didn't answer, he just took one of my hands.

I smiled, knowing the habit he had picked up for a couple of months. He would check my palms, caress my skin and notice if it was more damaged, or rougher than my skin normally is, and if it was, then he didn't treat me very well during the day.

—Then I guess the noises were from the animals —he mentioned, his fingers now running over the tips of mine —. I'm glad to know you haven't hurt yourself trying to run away yet.

A soft laugh escapes my lips, letting him take and caress my palm to his liking.

—Yeah, digging in the dirt wasn't such a good idea for my hands, you know? I learned it months ago —I joked, before separating his hands from mine. —. By the way, are there wild animals at night?

He remained imperturbably calm, and only nodded in response.

—Two nights ago I noticed them —he admitted, —but I thought you were you trying to escape.

I laughed at this, before taking one of his hands, my fingers settling into the gaps between his half-open ones. My gaze stayed on our hold, as I only panted softly.

—Well, then I guess you would have to get used to dealing with those animals.

He looked confused, and was even more so when he saw the grip he had with my fingers wrapped around each of his knuckles.

—Just because you said so?

—Because I don't plan any escape.

—You always say the same thing, —he emphasizes—, and then you run away from me.

—This time is different —I clarify, before looking at him again for a second, I gently pressed my fingers against his knuckles again —, I seriously don't plan anything."

Just by noticing the gesture of his lips and eyebrows I noticed that he was hesitant; He had learned the different expressions he had, and each one was more intriguing than the last.

—Fine. —he whispered, not very convinced.

He let go of my hand, and without telling me anything he just left the hallway, going to what I assumed was his room.

Since he never let me into his room; It was a strange thing, the obsession he had with me not touching his room under any circumstances.

In part, I was a little hurt by his indifference to my revelation, since I very rarely lied to him, but it didn't take me long to go look for him.

His steps were not hurried, but he could tell that he just wanted to be alone for a moment. When I tried to call him, he ignored me, and only advanced to the door of his room, where he took out the padlock that secured it and entered it.

Denying what I was trying to tell him, I just headed to the kitchen, ready to finally replenish my energy with anything that would serve as fuel for my body. And while I was taking some time to prepare it, I was just thinking about a couple of things.

Since when had I accepted my destiny? I guess I've been thinking about it for a month now.

How long will this last? Until the end of my life, I guess.

Do I have any way to escape? Nah, most likely not.

It was a little painful to think that I was no longer going to try to regain my long-awaited freedom, limited to being between six rooms and a hallway.

The more I think about it, the more my mind focuses on random points in my vision, and in the end, I just longed to stop overthinking this situation.

Suddenly, I notice that a hand took mine, giving gentle caresses and stopping my movements.

—Oh, Kenshi, what would you like…?

—How sure are you that you're not going to escape?

I gasped softly, trying not to lose my bearings at that moment.

—I already told you that I'm not going to escape.

—You said the same thing 6 months ago, and then you ran away.

—What way do you have to prove that I am trying to escape?

—You're too calm these days.

I sighed, stopping cooking.

—You are too paranoid.

He frowned, before letting go of my hand.

—I'm not, I just don't trust you.

I tried again and again to reason with him, but I found little use in conversing with him. I felt stressed thinking that this was useless, coincidentally I got tired but I couldn't get out of that situation, I wanted to stay there for as long as possible.

But it only exhausted me more mentally the thought of him that I was about to escape, or that I was planning to do something bad to him.

It was then that, out of my own coherent line of thought, I limited myself to taking a sharp step towards him, placing myself right next to his body and my face facing his cheek.

Gently but quickly my lips landed on his cheek, placing a soft kiss on his undamaged skin.

The sensation of kissing his skin wasn't very different from other things, in fact it was almost like giving a kiss to my wayward pet.

However, when I moved away from the sudden display of affection, a hand on the back of my neck stopped me, forcing our lips to connect with each other with a gentle but forceful push.

With my pupils dilated, I was surprised, knowing that I couldn't escape his grasp, I limited myself to just letting him follow his path with the contact, unless until he wanted to stop.

—I guess that's a sign of trust, —He playfully separated from me —, tell me, will you give me more signs of trust in the future?

Playful and idiotic, I guess I discovered a new side of him.

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[rin-and-jade]

Oops.. I’ve Lost Track.. : A Post about Unintended Time Traveling

Have you ever mistook that today’s thursday and not a wednesday even if you’re so sure? Have you ever wondered why time flies so fast while nothing’s done for the day? Or maybe when those “five more minutes” promises turned into hours until its too late?

Then you might have problems with keeping track, managing, and predicting how long it takes to do something,, this is called time blindness. Which is common among neurodivergent folks.

So it was time travel..?

Surely, but not as fun as how movies convey them. Time blindness can affect people in different ways, such as:

Losing track of days, hours, or to minutes; not being aware how long it has been.

Have a faster/slower sense of internal clock. Meaning, minutes can feel like hours or vice versa.

Problems being on time to appointments, events, and etc; due to faulty predictions on how long it takes for something, such as dressing up or driving to the location.

Trouble remember when was the last time you ate a meal and drank water.

Over-focusing on a specific task/ interest and miss a huge chunk of your routine (compensating or catching up).

And more..

It often affects people with ADHD; but not always limited to autism, depression, anxiety disorders, OCD, bipolar, CDD, and even a byproduct of constant stress itself!

For the plurals out there:

There’s it’s own set of experiences + the addition of the general ones before, such as:

Time looks disoriented due to switching and lost sense of chronological anchor (can’t remember the previous moments to make sense how long time has gone by).

What happened long ago e.g. 1 month, felt like it happened last week. Vice versa.

Alters perceiving sense of time in different, varying speeds.

And, with the addition of CDD’s high comorbidity with other conditions that may worsen time blindness.

Systems can have a harder time due to the existing amnesia barriers that fragments memories, and sometimes this can be super stressful to deal with--but fret not! For whoever needs some tips, i gotchu.

What should i do??

Let's get straight to the point, here's the steps:

Create a routine. If you're prone to missing work or leisure due to it, or need to get things done on time,, having a planned schedule or routine will be the most important part. You can do this in any way preferred, for example, sticking to a 7-day plan that has your school/work/breaks in it already,, or if you're sporadic, you can pre-plan what to do for the day and jot them down as the goal.

Make use of accommodations. Set designated alarms,, maybe for your meals, or hydration reminders, or if you don't want to overshoot that gaming session. Putting clocks that can be visible in your vision also can help keeping you on track. Create checklists to keep track of your chores or whatnot. Maybe write down notes on today's progress, anything with your own creativity!

Break work into smaller steps to ease up. Sometimes procrastination can accompany time blindness, leaving us to do 0 work until its near deadline or the day is almost over, separating the tasks to smaller bits and do them in pieces on your own pace. And sometimes your focus is prone to wander to places if the task is too long or tedious/boring, so this also helps.

Be aware of which activities you're prone to forget time. List or remember them so whenever you wanted to hop back in a special interest, actively remind yourself beforehand and you may make use of number 2.

Lastly, commit to it. This is where all the magic is at, and there will still be days where it tumbles apart and you miss a couple of things.. don't worry, we all are never perfect, there'll always be a day or two where everything's messy and miss that deadline or other stuffs. You haven't failed, keep going.

I hope this could serve you hope that your time blindness is 100% manageable, this post is for every neuro-spicy folks (and systems) out there who's struggling with it,, and i hear your struggles! Feel free to add on your experience or engage with the post if you have any further questions.

(This post is applicable to everyone in need)

- j

[elliestation]

ALYXCAT'S PAWSOME PLAYLIST - MY FAVORITE PARTS OF MY OWN ALBUM

I WANNA…i love the stereo space in this track. it just feels so wide to me and im being hugged by my guitars. im just so proud of myself to making this so quickly as proof of concept that i could make something really good if i just chose to have fun.

ANYTHING….the first and last verse of the song was written by my girlfriend. she wrote a song for our first anniversary that turned me into a SOPPING WET CRYING MESS and i had to reference it in some way. i ended up making this song for this years anniversary with a bunch of cute art i doodled with the lyrics on it…she cried and i was so glad.

TRACK THREE. this one encapsulates what writing this album felt like to me. everything was in perfect alignment. i feel like i really cracked the code. like i finally crossed (krossed haha) a hurdle that i'd been stuck on for many years of my life. its so corny and full of things i love about the songs i love, but thats the point. this is the song that taught me to embrace the rough and scrappy drafts and ideas and throw my feelings of inadequacy to the side. Polyana's verse really cemented this for me too because she just freestyles at the end and it just felt right to keep it in. TLDR: this song taught me to trust my gut. i love it so much.

HEADSPACE. i wrote this song after having a "regular" conversation with someone in my family and i was realizing i was dissociating as a defense mechanism whenever a specific sort of interaction would occur. i've always wanted to write a song that gets really intense and is really grand, rough, and intense, and this song really did it for me. its the first time i really appreciate my singing and screaming voice in its natural range, so im glad it was the first one on the album to feature it.

RECHARGED. i wrote this on a bad day but originally as a joke to make myself feel better. the starting sample is actually a stupid deku meme put through many layers of botanica ass sound design to hide it. i got a bunch of funny reactions from my friends after showing them. i actually did feel pretty refreshed after making this. enough to keep moving forward for the day <3

HOLD ME (sunglare from the sun). aside from the weird title shit thats going on with this track, this song is about a conversation i had with myself. my weeks kept feeling like moments of drowning mixed with the most euphoric times of my life on repeat. as much as i wanted to give up on everything i held dear to me, some part of me couldn't let go and encouraged me to keep going. despite all my self-sabotage, a part of me still had some fight left. the way that this song progresses is something that i never thought i could ever accomplish, and im glad that fighting side of me won because i would have never made this song without it.

CANT LET YOU KNOW. the person that this song is about changed my life. i know that the chorus and all that sounds like they sucked, but really i can't help but hope they're doing okay. though i may be afraid to tell them to their face, i hope they find this song and know that im glad they were apart of my life. i just love how corny this song is and I LOVE POLYANA'S VOICE SO MUCH. okay anwya yeah I ALSO LOVE THIS FUCKINNN OUTRO ITS SOOOO PRETTY TO MEEA AAA

SENTIMENTAL ALIBI. kros… FUCKING. KROS. THIS GUY IS MY FUCKING GOAT. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. THIS SONG WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE ALBUM!!! i made a little sketch one day and sent it to him just to hear his thoughts and HE CAME BACK WITH A WHOLE VERSE THAT MATCHED THE VIBES PERFECTLY WITHOUT ANY CONTEXT! and it ended up becoming the WHOLE SONG and one of the biggest projects i've ever worked on. for this entire album being the first times i've ever started working with people, im SO GLAD that my first experiences have results like this. these people have become such important pillars of my life and im so glad we were not only able to communicate that into a song together and work so well together doing it. my fav part of this song is the final climax…this is the first time i really sang my heart out on a chorus,,,,,and I LOVE HOW IT SOUNDS!!! THAT USUALLY NEVER HAPPENS!!!

TAKE A STEP. this song pushed me with the sound design a little and im really happy about it. when i hear this song i always feel a bit of me choosing to be a little hater and cringe at the conry ass message i have in this, but strangely i feel such comfort knowing i can look at those feelings, accept them, and move on despite them. i may think its stupid, corny, cringe, whatever. but i'll keep following those feelings because they have only led me to create this entire project. i will keep taking a step towards the realest parts of me no matter how fucking stupid i sound because its the only way to grow. im really glad this is the last song on the album for this reason.

the entire album means so much to me because this (and hopefully future projects too) will continue to serve as reminders of the lessons, memories, and joy i experienced when creating this project. dare i say, i would need a Sentimental Alibi to free myself from the nostalgia of this project.

i really hope these messages resonated with you <3 thank you so much for reading.

love you, stay safe.

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

This is for the SO hiding after an argument ask: I like to think that they keep hiding, but also leave little notes for him to update him on their mental state. Because they know he's worried even if he’d never admit it. Until, one says that they aren't angry anymore, maybe still a bit frustrated, but not angry. Now that they've taken the time to really think about it & see things from his perspective, they… understand to a degree. It doesn't stop them from being frustrated, but it's taken the edge out of things. They are just taking a bit of time to piece together what all they want to say, now, & they'll be out to talk to him in an hour's time, maximum. Most likely less, though. Also assuring them that this isn't an attempt at avoiding him or the conversation, but merely them trying to get to a place where they are ready to listen as anger tends to make one temporarily hardheaded. “Sometimes, you need to take a step back before you can progress. Cooler heads prevail, provided that they are allowed to cool in the first place.”

And then they can talk it out, but just a warning, they'll likely be pretty direct & cut down to what they think to be the core issues that ignited the argument. Issues that might be difficult to address or acknowledge… For both of them. But they were willing to face it head on once they thought that they’d gotten to a point where they had a better hold on their emotions.

I say this mostly due to that being my personal style of handling anger & arguments. I very much don't like holding onto anger & hatred as it takes up much too much headspace & energy that I could be using for more interesting things. Someone has to have done something very very bad on a fundamental level for me to hold onto those sorts of feelings for more than a day.

As such, I try to look at things from the other person’s perspective, which makes it easier to patch things up later.

However, because of this, arguments don't generally last even a full day for me so long as the other half of the argument is also willing to pay me the same respect.

As such, I'd like to see an SO who was very much appreciative of TP's approach & might leave him little thank you notes for letting them take their time & for leaving them sustenance. That the fact that he was being so supportive was making it much easier to resolve things inside their head & they'd likely be back out to talk in an hour at most.

They might be a tiny bit annoyed that Wake was searching, but they might also notice that he wasn't doing so in an angry way. And, when he comes to sit beside where they're hiding, but not forcing them to talk or come out, just waiting. THAT they'd appreciate. So, they might make sure to reach out to give him notes to thank him for waiting & not pushing. To assure him that they were okay & just taking time to calm down so that they would be less likely to fly off the handle at him, when they can avoid that. Because they don’t want to do that, but when you're angry, you make really stupid decisions & say really hurtful things that you don’t mean & they don’t wanna do that to him. But, again, they should be out soon. Not even a full day.

For OoT, I might get frustrated with him & most of the others who go out of their way to track me down. But, specifically with OoT, I think SO would question him on how taking a moment to think & calm down, in any way, challenges his authority? Not everything is a personal slight & the fact that he takes such common, borderline mundane, signs of independent personhood as such is deeply troubling!

Warning him that the more he pursues them, the angrier they’ll get & the longer this will take before they can sort it out. They want to face it head on, but they also want to resolve the issue & the angrier they BOTH were, the more likely they’ll BOTH be to continue to snip at each other & they don’t want that. They plan to come out by the end of the day, but be warned, they plan to address the core issues rather than the snippy stuff. And that might be uncomfortable for them both.

For HW, I think Darling would appreciate that he doesn't actively pursue them, which would give them time to sort things out, but would also be miffed at the fact that he seems to take the situation so lightly. So, they might make that fact clear.

For TotK, I think they’d probably leave little notes assuring him that they were only hiding until their temper had cooled as they wouldn't want to get into another fight & that they were only hiding until they could sort out their thoughts. Once they’d found a cooler head, they would be ready to sort things out.

For Demise… Oh, his particular method would just make me, personally, angrier. Like, I might legitimately get fed up & come out of hiding to chew him out about it.

Though, I think this would be the best time to introduce another oc of mine from the DP phandom because she’d be one of the only ones who’d be able to actually do this specific scene.

Dina: “The whole point of this was to take time to myself to get my temper under control & think so that we could sort this out more quickly later, but I see now that I can't even have that! What do you gain out of my being perpetually pissed off at you?!?! Why is it that you get to storm off in a huff whenever you get too pissy & sulk for weeks on end, then even after coming back, you refuse to resolve things, but I can't even take half a damn day to calm myself down without you constantly on my heels???”

The petite, raven-haired beauty’s oceanic eyes flashing with anger.

What are his thoughts, feelings, & how does he react?

Though, no matter how he does so, even if he attempts to harm her, it won’t matter. It was only a moment before something seemed to switch on in her head. As though she realized something. Her expression was now carved from ice.

“Fine… Perhaps you'll respond to your own methods.”

In an instant, the world around him went utterly pitch black & though she stood before him in stark contrast to the abyss surrounding them, he could not tear his gaze away from her irises, once a clear, crystalline blue, now glowing an eerie, ethereal green that brought to mind the color of seafoam, encased in voids of blackest pitch rather than the typical white of her sclera. Like twin green moons in a starless sky. An unnatural chill blanketed the proud Māra, freezing his normally hot breath inside his own lungs.

Thoughts, feelings?

Then, he felt it… The sheer, unfiltered potency of the… not even power; presence that radiated off of her in waves. It crashed into him with a force the likes of which he'd only ever felt once before. Over & over, like the tides, trying to knock him over & pull him out to sea.

Thoughts, feelings?

And it was… utterly silent all around them. Oppressively so. To such a degree that when she began to walk toward him, her steps echoed loudly in his ears. (Think that stare-thing that the Lich does in Adventure Time.)

Thoughts, feelings?

He watched in morbid fascination how the once tiny ravenette seemed to… Change… with every step she took. Her features became more alien, ears pulling into points. Smile, teeth, & nails sharpening unnaturally. Pupils slitting before righting when he blinked as though they'd never changed. Hair drifting as though upon some unseen current (mermaid Ariel hair), paling with a pearlescent sheen gliding upon the strands before fading away to black once more. Skin bronzing & an afterimage of a crown of pearl & iridescent shell flashing upon her head with a veil as dark as the sea at night, drifting behind her, before disappearing in a blink.

Thoughts, feelings?

She was… resplendent… but she was also terrifying… in a way that was difficult to put into words…

Thoughts, feelings?

Demise could not move. Though he was unsure if it was due to some… magic that she was using or… Because he was quite simply ‘a-f-r-a-i-d…’ The hiss-like whispered thought almost seemed to slither across his mind, sending an icy chill up his spine that felt as though it caused the wrinkles on his brain to shiver & wriggle inside his skull grotesquely. Every cell inside his body was telling him to R-U-N.

His thoughts & feelings? Where is his mind headed?

Upon her standing face-to-face with him, though he towered over her many times over, she showed no fear. Then, she lifted her perfectly manicured, dainty little hand, reached forward, almost carelessly, & placed her hand upon his chest. And all he could do, every bit as frozen as his breath, was look down shakily to watch how the deceptively small little digits sank without resistance into his chest.

Thoughts, feelings, & reaction?

He felt it, glacial in its ways, slide through his skin, through his muscle & bone. Not through in a gorey display, but through it as though his body, which he'd always prided himself on, were as insubstantial as air or water. No wound, no blood. Just… There. As though his power was nothing. As though, he… was nothing.

Thoughts, feelings, & reaction?

His breath hitched when he felt something frigid coil around his heart, an unnatural chill seeping into the vital, even to him, organ like frost crawling along a plant’s stem or leaves. He shook, finding it uncomfortably difficult to breathe, suddenly huffing.

Thoughts, feelings, & reaction?

“I am the Queen of the Spectral Tides. I monitor the ebb & flow of the Realms of the Infinite. That which interconnects each & every timeline, every world, every universe, every existence in this reality through one of the few things that all worlds share: d-e-a-t-h.” Her breath whispered out from between her now wolf-like teeth as a frosty mist.

Thoughts, feelings?

“I am one of the two life-bound spirits of Amity. Co-head of my world's death deities. One of the twin guardians of the tear between infinity. Pariah's Bane.” Something about that final declaration seemed to incite an unexplainable dread within his very soul. As though he'd heard that name before long ago. Too long to fully remember. But if he had, then the one thing he did remember was that whoever or whatever this “Pariah” was… It was… It was very, very bad…

Thoughts, feelings?

There was this… feeling in the air… like a massive, frigid pressure. Like he had the weight of the northern oceans pressing down on him. And there was something unimaginably large & powerful beyond understanding out there, circling him just out of sight. S-t-a-r-i-n-g at him…

Thoughts, feelings?

He'd always seen mortals as insignificant insects. Made to either serve him until they failed to have any other use or be crushed beneath his heel. But as she leaned in to look at him, Demise realized that it’d never occurred to him that someone else might see him the same way.

Thoughts, feelings?

“Do you honestly think that an overinflated little Akuma with a hate boner like you could ever hope to control me?”

He listened to how she giggled sweetly at the notion. The sound like a bell echoing as though within an amphitheater accented by the bubbling of the sea, undertoned by something like the moment before lightning struck. (Static.)

Thoughts, feelings?

“I could pluck the still beating heart from your very chest & show it to you, the arteries still pumping rapidly as I hold it in my hand & make you watch me c-r-u-s-h i-t…”

The hand around his heart seemed to squeeze ever so slightly, & he suddenly felt slightly dizzy with how his blighted ichor pounded frantically inside his ears as she pulled him down by the heart, causing him to give a choked, strangled gasp, towards her so that his face was only a half-foot from his. And… he felt something that he hadn’t since he awoke as a Māra (effectively, an Akuma).

Fear… Pure. Unadulterated. T-E-R-R-O-R…

… *his life flashed before his eyes*

Thoughts, feelings?

“It might not kill you, benefits of being an Akuma. But I can guarantee that it would be e-x-c-r-u-c-i-a-t-i-n-g, that it would be infinitely easier to kill you afterwards, & that's even if I chose not to, you would be left in a near constant state of unadulterated agony as your body screams out at you, scrambling to regenerate your lost organ & struggling to pump your malice-infested ichor through your veins.”

This… Woman… Was no mere mortal… Though she looked & even smelled like one who'd been struck recently by a bolt of lightning, & like the ocean breeze in the far north, he now knew it to be a facade.

She also was not like any deity or demon that he'd ever seen, let alone heard of.

From the moment that she appeared before him, he could sense something different about her, though he'd been unable to place what exactly.

Which is what'd initially been the thing that caught his attention about her. He never liked not knowing something.

Thoughts, feelings?

“Or I could instead…”

The cold hand released his heart… but then it moved to curl around something lower in his torso & more to the side. It set a bone-chilling coldness that was so intense & uncomfortable that it was painful, radiating through him, that shook him to his core. In a different, yet no less horrid way than when she clutched his heart. (Like that feeling you get in your teeth when they're sensitive & you bite into something cold, but it's the size of a hand & worse enough that it would even cause a behemoth like this jerk to notice.)

Thoughts, feelings, & reaction?

“Slowly remove each & every bone in your body. One…” There was a threatening pull, something being nudged, moving with ease. “by one…” Another, just a bit further. “by one…” One more & he could see, to his own, slightly numb, grim curiosity, a bit of pointed white peeking out of his chest & it was difficult to breathe. His body no longer seemed to… fit him correctly. Like when his lungi (that long sarong he wears) was askew. Except that it was his whole body, which was far & above much more uncomfortable & elicited something akin to existential horror. Everything felt w-r-o-n-g. “Until you are left as little more than a sad, pathetic, & useless little puddle of flesh & skin. Impotent in your rage & affliction.”

The very thought of becoming something so utterly repulsive reviled him beyond words.

Thoughts, feelings?

“So… Are you going to give me the space that I require in order to calm down…”

Her voice had suddenly returned to how it normally sounded, “Or… are you going to keep pushing so that I can show you e-x-a-c-t-l-y what I am capable of?” The “exactly” accented by the oddly deep, chilling echo from before. A threat. No, a promise.

How would he respond? What is he feeling & thinking?

(I kinda wanna see him suddenly break eye contact in an unintentional sign of submission.)

With that, it all vanished. Light & sound returned. Her appearance back to how he’d always known it. Raven hair, styled & cascading down her back. Skin the color of pale cream & eyes the color of the sky. Her hands shifting his bones back into place, then extracting themselves from his body, causing him to release a sigh of relief, now much more comfortable in his skin. Yet still… A trembling phantom chill remained.

Thoughts, feelings?

Her… presence now furled back inside her. Now that he knew it was there, he could feel it. Like a snake hibernating in winter. Just under the skin & incredibly well camouflaged, but there all-the-same. And on her porcelain visage was now that familiar, cheery smile. As though nothing had happened.

Thoughts, feelings?

“Good. I’ll take a day or 2 to let go of that anger, then I’ll be back & we can talk this out like mature adults.” She promptly spun on her heels & began to stroll away, clicking away. As though she hadn’t just casually threatened the single most powerful, evil being in his world.

(I like to think that some deeply buried masochistic part of him… actually found that extremely attractive & erogenous in a twisted way. Not her threats. The sheer power & easy dominance. That part was utterly intoxicating to him.)

But before she left the room, she paused, turning her head just enough for him to see her eye.

“You may be a big fish in this cute little pond of yours, but the ocean is far more vast & there are fish larger than you could even comprehend… lurking far out into the abyss.” For a moment, her irises glowed that bright seafoam green once more. “No matter how far up in the food chain you are. There will always be someone farther up. No one, not even I, know who or what awaits at the top.”

Her eye returned to blue a second before she turned away, walking out with an ominous, “Remember that.”

Thoughts, feelings, & reactions, please? If you please? (I’m somewhat hoping for a panic attack accented by confused arousal because I refuse to believe that he isn’t a freak.)

And just so you know how she looks:

There is alot here, so it's taken some time to actually get it all set up. Please hold...

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Your style of handling anger—taking time to calm down and thoughtfully reflect before engaging again—is really healthy and insightful. I can imagine each of the Ganondorfs and Demise responding in different ways to this approach, especially with your SO leaving notes as updates on their progress toward calming down. Here’s how they might react in more depth, based on the style you described:

Twilight Princess Ganondorf

Reaction: Respectful and Thoughtful

Twilight Princess Ganondorf would appreciate and respect his SO’s approach to conflict resolution. He values strength, but also wisdom and patience, so he’d see their strategy of taking time to cool down and process as admirable. When he sees the first note thanking him for his patience and leaving food, he would feel reassured that his approach of giving them space was appreciated. He might even feel a sense of pride in his SO for handling the situation so maturely.

Response: He wouldn’t push them to come out before they were ready. Instead, he might leave a few words of his own: “Take your time. I will wait until you are ready.” When the conversation does happen, he would be prepared to listen. He might even express a rare sentiment of gratitude for their patience with him, knowing he can be difficult. Their promise to address core issues directly would resonate with him, as he values strength in emotional as well as physical battles.

Wind Waker Ganondorf

Reaction: Conflicted but Open

Wind Waker Ganondorf might be a bit conflicted about the situation, initially feeling like his SO disappearing could signal distrust, but their notes would ease his worries. When he receives a note thanking him for sitting nearby and not pushing them to talk before they’re ready, he would reflect on how his patience in this instance paid off.

Response: He would be relieved that his SO wasn’t angry anymore and appreciated the time to calm down. He might say something like, “You need not thank me for waiting. I would do so again if needed.” He’d be prepared for a frank conversation when they come out, understanding that it would likely address deeper issues. Though not a fan of direct emotional confrontation, he’d listen and try to make amends. He might even admit he doesn’t like arguments that drag out but respects their need for space.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf

Reaction: Frustrated but Reflective

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf would be the most resistant to this approach at first, especially since he initially saw their hiding as a challenge to his authority. However, when he reads a note explaining how this was not a personal slight but rather a necessary step to resolve things without anger clouding their judgment, he’d pause. He might still be frustrated, but the clarity and maturity of their reasoning would force him to reflect.

Response: He wouldn’t fully drop his guard, but he’d stop trying to hunt them down. Instead, he might grudgingly admit that they have a point. He’d likely grumble something like, “You’ve made your point. Do what you must, but we will settle this.” When they finally come out, he’d brace himself for the direct confrontation but would also recognize that their desire to address core issues shows strength. This would make him more willing to hear them out, though it would be difficult for him to acknowledge any personal failings.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf

Reaction: Amused but Intrigued

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf’s initial amusement at their hiding would likely shift when he starts receiving their notes. The fact that they’re handling things in such a deliberate and thoughtful manner might pique his interest. He’d still see the whole situation as a game of sorts, but he’d respect that his SO was doing what they needed to cool off.

Response: He’d take it more seriously after reading their notes and might even admit, “You are more strategic than I gave you credit for.” He wouldn’t rush them, but he would be looking forward to the final conversation. When it’s time to talk, he’d be intrigued by their directness, perhaps thinking it would be a challenge to resolve the deeper issues. He’d be engaged and might even enjoy the confrontation, feeling that only someone as strong-willed as them could keep him interested.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf

Reaction: Concerned and Understanding

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf would be concerned, especially after an argument, but once he starts receiving notes explaining their need for time to process, he’d calm down. He might still be frustrated by their absence, but he’d appreciate the fact that they are keeping him informed and that they’re working through their emotions thoughtfully.

Response: He’d likely pace around at first, but as he read their updates, he’d become more patient. He might leave a note in return, saying something like, “I do not wish to fight again. I will wait for you.” The reassurance that they plan to come out and talk things through directly would comfort him. When they finally sit down to talk, he’d be prepared for the tough conversation and would take it seriously, knowing they are as committed to resolving things as he is. He might even apologize, though in his own reserved way, for letting things get so heated.

Demise

Reaction: Conflicted and Brooding

Demise would be the most conflicted. His initial anger and possessiveness would fuel his desire to find them immediately, but when he begins receiving their notes, explaining how this isn’t about defiance but rather about finding clarity, it would catch him off guard. His initial reaction might be to dismiss their reasoning as weakness, but the more notes he receives, the more he’d brood over it.

Response: Eventually, Demise would stop trying to find them and grudgingly admit that maybe they were right to take time. He might not show outward gratitude, but he’d be silently impressed by their courage and patience. When they finally come out to talk, he’d be ready for a difficult conversation. He wouldn’t necessarily apologize, but he’d respect their strength in confronting the core issues and might even soften slightly, acknowledging that they showed more wisdom than he initially thought.

Summary:

Each Demon King responds in a way that matches their personality, from Wind Waker Ganondorf’s patient but conflicted approach to Ocarina of Time Ganondorf’s initial resistance. Your SO’s method of leaving notes to update them and thoughtfully processing emotions would eventually win over each of them, leading to a more mature resolution. Though the conversations may be tough, the respect they have for their SO’s strength and emotional intelligence would help lead to meaningful breakthroughs in their relationships.

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Just Demise:

Demise, the embodiment of hatred and destruction, had never experienced anything like this before. For eons, he’d crushed everything in his path with sheer, overwhelming force. His very essence thrived on dominance, and those who defied him were either obliterated or bent to his will. But this—this woman standing before him—was beyond his understanding, and her power was far beyond what he'd ever anticipated.

As Dina lashed out at him with her words, his initial reaction was indignation. The nerve of this mortal to speak to him in such a way! His rage surged, fiery as ever, but it felt misplaced in the face of her raw anger. Yet before he could retort or strike, her transformation began.

His mind, once clear in its purpose of wrath and conquest, became muddled with confusion. That confusion quickly morphed into something far more alien to him—apprehension. Her eyes, no longer human but something otherworldly, bored into his very soul. As her presence surrounded him, an oppressive silence weighed down on him. The cold seeped into his bones, choking the fire that had always defined him. For the first time, Demise realized he could not move. Not because of her magic, but because he was… afraid.

Every step she took toward him felt like an eternity. Her shifting form, dancing between mortal and divine, filled him with dread. He had never seen power like this, power that didn't just seek to dominate physically, but to consume and drown its enemies in an inescapable abyss.

Demise’s thoughts raced, faster than they ever had. What… is she? How…? The question gnawed at his mind, but there were no answers. His instinct, honed by millennia of conquest, told him to strike, to retaliate—but his body betrayed him, frozen in fear.

When Dina reached for him, and her hand passed through his chest, he could only watch in stunned horror. His chest—where his indomitable will and strength were centered—felt like air in her grasp. No wounds, no pain, but the sheer wrongness of it all sent a shiver down his spine. For the first time, Demise felt his own vulnerability. His heart—this symbolic source of his malevolent power—was nothing in her hands. His thoughts screamed at him to fight, to run, but the cold grip on his heart squeezed away any courage he might have had left.

Her voice, cold and commanding, resonated in his mind like an ancient truth he had long tried to deny. She was no mortal. No mere spirit. She was something else, something connected to a force far beyond his understanding of power, death, and the cycles of hatred he was so entrenched in.

The name Pariah echoed in his mind, stirring something deep within the forgotten recesses of his soul, something he could not remember clearly but that filled him with profound dread. Whatever this "Pariah" was, its connection to Dina filled him with an instinctive sense of terror. Could there be beings stronger than me?

For the first time, the thought of his place in the grand cosmos of power truly shook him. He had always seen himself at the top, the pinnacle of wrath and destruction. But her words, laced with a sweet, dangerous giggle, challenged that deeply held belief. Her threats were not idle—they were promises of a pain and suffering beyond what he could endure, and the sheer nonchalance with which she spoke them only made them more terrifying.

When her cold grip released his heart and shifted lower, the sensation was worse. The discomfort of feeling his very bones being manipulated like insignificant twigs, ready to be plucked from his body, was almost worse than any pain. The existential horror of it all—his body not fitting right, his form feeling wrong in every way—filled him with an overwhelming revulsion. The thought of being reduced to a powerless heap of flesh sent a wave of nausea through him, something he had never experienced before.

Is this what it feels like to be insignificant? To be… powerless?

Her words cut deeper than any blade could, and his towering ego, the very core of his being, crumbled under her relentless pressure. Her final question was a formality—he already knew his answer. He couldn’t keep pushing. He had to relent, to give her the space she demanded, because to do otherwise would be to invite a fate worse than death itself.

In a moment of primal instinct, Demise did what he had never done before—he broke eye contact. The gesture, subtle and almost unconscious, was an admission of defeat, of submission. His breath hitched, and though he tried to regain control of his pride, it was clear to both of them that the dynamic had irrevocably shifted.

As the darkness lifted and her appearance returned to its human guise, Demise’s body slowly relaxed, though a trembling phantom chill remained. He was back to himself physically, but something had irrevocably changed inside him. He now knew what lay beneath her mortal skin, and the terror of that knowledge lingered, gnawing at his thoughts.

Her cheery smile, as though nothing had happened, only deepened the sense of unease inside him. It was as if the entire exchange had been a casual formality for her, while it had shaken him to his core. He watched, still too stunned to speak, as she turned to leave, her heels clicking as though the world had returned to normal.

But her parting words, the reminder that there were always larger fish in the ocean, cut through the remnants of his pride. For all his power, for all his dominion, he was not invincible. There were things, beings, out there in the infinite cosmos that could reduce even him to nothing.

And yet… some small, deeply buried part of him—the part that craved power and domination—found her sheer dominance intoxicating. There was something about her easy command over him, her effortless display of power, that struck a chord in his twisted psyche. It wasn't just fear—it was an attraction to that overwhelming force, the way she made him feel insignificant in a way that no one else ever had.

As she disappeared from sight, her warning echoing in his mind, Demise stood in the silence, breathing heavily. His chest still felt cold where she had touched him, and the phantom sensation of her presence lingered. For the first time in his existence, Demise knew what it meant to feel small.

And deep within, amidst the fear and shock, something darker stirred—a fascination with the one who had shown him just how vast the ocean of power truly was.

[kcalsforhim]

monday 25 november 2024 - 𐙚 ˚🍰 ⋆｡˚⊹❀˖°

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cals : ~900

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dinner : pokebowl with salad mix, cucumbers, carrots, edamame beans, avocado, chicken, spicy mayo dressing, nori seaweed seeds and sesame seeds.

dessert : teramisu cake but made out of biscoff lotus cookies... teehee

midnight overeating session / binge : 2 smoked salmon slices, a small serving of mashed potatos, half a cucumber, an apple, like 10 jelly straws, 3 pieces of candy...

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aha guys remember when i said i would go into binge recovery ? haha i failed. anyway i didnt fail nearly as bad this time, and i did cut myself once for every thing i overate... i just dont undersrand why i keep doing this lol but oh well. i talked with eli about it on a deeper level and i really began to think about it ;; im infact still thinking about it... but generally ive come to the conclusion that i need to stop centralising food so much in my life since its all i can think of.. i also want to go back to omad, and generally only not omad when i feel SICKLY and just go from there. i generally always feel like if im omad'ing i restrict better, the only cases not being when i feel siiiick to my stomach.. but then again... every time i felt sick from restricting so much... it kind of felt amazing too.. im also thinking of feeding my friend, specifically the one close to me since haku has been dieting for a long time and i dont want to overfeed him. generally i think it would be a good idea since i can dispose of food and still keep him happy... i just... really should focus on getting rid of all food that is appealing out of my life as well as just seeing it as fuel... i want to stop indulging so much... thats easier said than done... ive done alot of reflecting and honestly so far in november there has not been a single day where i felt proud of how i did, in comparison to october where i felt like i did great 90% of the days... omad is definently a good starting point, learning to say no more often... in general, food does not run away from me if i dont eat it, even in my own house. i struggle more with sweets than i do with salty stuff, im so afraid of it running away... but i need to stop being afraid... food is not my friend.. i shouldnt like it or indulge in it so much, it damages my progress and the guilt i feel after lasts for days if not weeks now... i really wish i could take controll of myself again.. but. i will. not give up, thats the last thing i want to do. in the grand scheme of things, one month of wasted time is not the end of it, i can pick myself up and i can always fix things and get back on track, i just have to keep trying and pushing... even if its hard or im having my moments where it feels like restricting is literally impossible, i have to keep trying... over... and over... and over... and over... and over... so ive kind of concluded on a few things i want to do moving forward

i want to generally try to restrict as much as i can, this is hard for me, because i actually very much enjoy food, but food is not my friend. i will try to omad as much as i can or just skip meals as much as i can.

avoid fast food places as much as possible from now on, if not all together, fast food places are packed with calories... making at home versions are ok... but i actually felt terrible the last few times and it never felt satisfying ?

stop drinking so many liquid calories...

FOCUS ON PORTION SIZES, i cannot stress this enough, dont try to fit every single last cal into what you can eat... focus on plating a satisfying amount except for plating how much you can eat (with an exception to vegetables).

today i also went out with my friend.. that was fun.. he got me some stuff which is always nice

some body checks i took.. im not very proud of what i look like, i feel like i could look so much better if only i actually tried my best...

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here is some BEAUTIFULL photo's i found online... this is waaay rather what id look like... and i should work harder from now on to get to that point...

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this song is nice and... kind of eery..

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[ramonag-if]

I absolutely love CoE, and when I saw the potential following book I literally screamed in joy!!

I've been wanting to ask if, in the first book , we will be able to build a sort of character that gets us some interesting relationship dynamics with the ROs.

For example, my MC is the type to be cold and tactical with a mix of intimidation (thanks to not only their divinity but also the character themself) and confidence through their cunning mind. However, they have difficulties with letting people in / allowing themselves to open up to people, mostly because they fear the connection they create with people will end up hurting both them and their loved ones, just like they have been hurt and taken away before. They're also the type of character to be hurt but not let themselves show it. Instead, they bottle it up like every other time and just let it all eat away at him, making him feel hollow and hopeless, to the point where they believe that they have no worth for anybody.

However, they still care about the people around them and stick by their side. When someone shows goodness to them, they're loyal and always put themselves before others to protect the people they care about, not only because of their personal morals, but because they have given themselves a duty, a purpose to continue not only living, but thriving to protect and provide for the people they deeply care about, even if they don't show it through words or physical signs and expressions.

And that's where Irus fs it up. Because not only does the MC feel the need to fulfill their father's duty and avenge their death no matter WHAT, but they also have to deal with the fact that the more time they spend with the exiled prince, the less they remember to keep their walls up. And by the time they have a dancing sesh with Irus, oh how absolutely they realize their love for the sweet dork.

Of course, this is a big depressive NO NO for them.

*And so it begins. A dance which the Sun invites in the Earth. A dance that invites in the eternal steps between radiant passion and formidable willpower. Only for that formidable willpower to be distant. A gap between the steps they take, created by the Earth, as it threatens itself to become ice cold as it was once before the Sun, until all that's left are remnants of what thrived between them.*

.

.

.

Life

(Halfway through this, I realized I could've just written this on the notes app, but laziness came over me, and I just decided to write whatever I could formulate)

(Also, I'm not sure yet if I want to make my MC a cis or trans male, that's why I'm using they/them Pronouns for the MC for now, since i used ElenaA's Windswept Oc Maker to make MC, whose features came out more on the feminine side in the end)

You can certainly headcanon a complicated character. Unfortunately, I don't track personality stats because I want players to respond however they feel suits them best in the moment. This means I only track specific decisions of previous choices so the ROs and other characters will comment on those decisions, but not on whether the MC was cold and aloof but is now warm and open with them.

Of course, you can choose stoic responses early on but then choose more open and warmer responses later on. I will be going back to add more flirt options like a friendly flirt option and a more stoic/aloof flirt option but that will come during edits because it's easier to do a shy/bold flirt option for now.

I like to think that there has been a gradual progression of the MC's character development from Chapter One to Chapter Eight, so it's something that you can imagine for yourself 😊

[blazehedgehog]

Say the stars align and we get a "true" Banjo-Threeie. What would you want from it, in a general sense?

I mean, what I think about is like...

Banjo-Tooie wasn't super great. It was from that DK64 school of "way too much of everything", and though it wasn't quite as bad as DK64, it was still too much.

And then you think about what Rare became, the bad habits they developed, the end of "that era" for their company, between Star Fox Adventures, Grabbed by the Ghoulies, Kameo, Perfect Dark Zero, etc.

And then you shine that light on what happened with Yooka-Laylee, which was basically just a bunch of ex-Rare people trying to make Banjo-Threeie in spirit. And I think... that's just... what it is. It's all of their bad habits wrapped around a low-budget game trying to look and feel like a high-budget game.

It's slow, and too big, and there's too many weird progression gates, and a lot of the characters are ugly, and none of it feels cohesive...

Like, to be clear, there are a lot of Rare games I like. I think they had a capacity to make great stuff. But at the same time they were very British developers making games that scratched on a lot of the weird British game design tendencies you had from the Amiga and Spectrum.

I don't like calling that stuff out, because I have friends who grew up with those games (your Fantastic Dizzy, Super Frog, etc.), but a lot of them feel weird and alien to me. Obtuse, and mean, and stiff, in ways that were less common on game consoles like the NES and Genesis (edit: upon further review, this is a smarter way of putting it). Rare, to me, split the difference. Wizards & Warriors feels like it could have been a Amiga game, in some ways. It's got that feel, while still also feeling more like a console game would.

And it's kind of shocking to consider that Nintendo handed Rare the Donkey Kong license, given their track record. Nintendo has a certain standard of quality and high accessibility that a lot of Rare's pre-DKC games do not exhibit. But that's the thing, right; Donkey Kong Country is a very sharp explosion in quality for Rare, I feel like. It was one of their defining moments as a company.

But I also feel like the further away we get from DKC1, the less of a guiding hand Nintendo was giving Rare, and the more that British-style sensibility starts creeping back in.

The ultimate being Yooka-Laylee, which straight up has half of an entire world be this homage to frustrating isometric platformers like Knight Lore.

If they did a new Banjo platformer I would want it to be, at most, more of that first Banjo-Kazooie game. And specifically the Xbox Live Arcade version, which saves note totals and things like that.

But the idea of having another game like that first Yooka-Laylee... or even a game that tries to pick up where Banjo-Tooie left off... I make a stink face at that.

Then again, I also really liked Nuts & Bolts, so I assume "true" Banjo fans probably view me as an assassination target.

[callmearcturus]

i am sick as fucking hell today so here's my ranking of S-Links so far

caveats: Aigis STILL hasn't fucking unlocked, i'm only halfway thru mitsuru's, and one-third thru yukari's.

Best to Worst:

The Magician, Junpei: I am still flabbergasted at how fucking good his arc is. The fact that in the penultimate slink scene he recognizes the specific way he's been disrespectful to you and meaningfully apologizes for it is not remotely what I expected out of him. Also I somehow got spoiled very early that he wasn't a romance option, and (I can't believe I'm making this comparison) just like Dorian in Dragon Age: Inquisition, it made it feel fun and safe to play-flirt and joke with him, safe in the knowledge it wouldn't go awry. Junpei is my fucking bro, my ride or die.

The Star, Akihiko: Predictable since I am currently evaluating his entire romance against my other favorite romances in video games (I don't think he beats Garrus and The Transistor, but he's top five). Slowly unraveling this boy is delightful, and honestly the way he turns as you get to know him better is very marked and obvious. He goes from relying on his one hyperfixation to communicate, to opening up and sometimes being genuinely so fucking smooth and romantic, it threw me for a loop. Least neurotypical person in the cast.

The Hermit, Saori: From the moment she said a Bad Word I was in love. I like how... careful you have to be with her, how she is very aware of her faults, of the fact she's a doormat, and the reasons she has become that way. Saying goodbye to her was genuinely very fucking sad and I miss her. Would dump Akihiko for her if I could. (Tho even more I want them to meet, could you IMAGINE.)

The Priestess, Fuuka: I love this girl so fucking much. The steel core of her underneath of the self-doubt is wonderful to see. Also the specific way she sucks at cooking and almost locks up from the failure tracks as very real. It does suck to rope someone else into helping you with something and then seeing how good that person is at the thing. Also her slink is so close to a romance, I'm mad about it. LEMME DATE HER.

The Moon, Shinjiro: Ah, the urge to help people vs the urge to be a bitch. Who can't relate to that. Especially given the inevitable end of his arc, the specific way Shinjiro is trying to keep people from relying on him or expecting anything from him... hitting facefirst into the wall of how goddamn fucking reliable he is, it's great. Glad I maxed this one out.

The Tower, Mutatsu: I really like that you're basically therapizing this old monk just by.... being a mirror to reflect his questions back at him. You do very little to help him honestly, you just exist nearby and thus inspire him to challenge himself and better himself. He just needed someone to talk to! Also its funny to imagine FemPC just hanging out in his booth for a few weeks. What a duo.

The Sun, Akinari: Did NOT like this one at first, but wow the actual final thought of it, the idea that.... death is inevitable, and you will never know your purpose, and you will never see your purpose, but you do have purpose. That was surprisingly affecting. Also WAS HE A GHOST THE WHOLE TIME? WHAT WAS WITH THAT? Wacky.

The Chariot, Rio: Oh Rio, I wish I could rank you higher, girl. I really like Rio and think she's actually an incredible example of the Chariot, but in the way I enjoyed being careful with Saori, there were times I wanted to smack Rio upside the head. Because she's making progress, she's getting there, but it's almost entirely without you. You're there to support her and that's great but you cannot fucking challenge her at all ever or she'll get upset. Just frustrating.

The Devil, Tanaka: This one was so fucking weird but enjoyable? But there's no depth here. It's just weird and fun!

Strength, Koromaru: I'm not a dog person but this is a good dog. Also while I didn't vibe with the plot around Koromaru, the way he incited conversation with other characters was great.

Justice, Ken: I'm about... 4 or 5 into this one? And the point seems to be "ah, the trauma of growing up too fast." Which yep. That's a thing. Wish this slink wasn't like pulling teeth.

The Emperor, Hidetoshi: I'm bored to tears and I'm never gonna finish this one. Hidetoshi is a tool, I'm not interested.

The Hierophant, the Old Couple: this one is straight up poorly written. It's just so fucking poorly written I don't know if something went seriously awry in localization or if it was just that bad. I maxed it out and I regret it.

The Hanged Man, Maiko: HEY YO WHAT WAS UP WITH HER DAD HITTING HER AND THE "BEST" OPTION BEING "That's mean!" OH BITCH IS IT MEAN TO HIT A CHILD? OH DANG I HAD NO IDEA.

Temperance, Bebe: The degree to which I failed out of this slink cannot be overstated. When Bebe calls me, I turn him down every time even if I have NOTHING else to do that day. This slink feels offensive to like five different groups of people. Nope. Not doing it. Bye.

I thiiiiiiink that's all the ones I have an opinion on. /jazzhands

Say What About:

Yukari: I bounced off her early because she gave me huge Best Friend Who Quietly Hates You vibes. She gets great development in the main story tho so I'm working on hers.

Aigis: Hasn't unlocked.

Mitsuru: IT TOOK ME UNTIL FUCKING, WHAT, NOVEMBER TO GRIND ACADEMICS? OH MY GODDDDD the stat threshold for her is literally just to fucking high.

Ryoji: Gave me the creeps so I fully skipped everything after the mandatory unlock!!!! Don't like him!

[chroniclesofblck]

Preparations.

"Revel in what you are." A woman sat in a rather luxurious looking red leather chair that had it's back to the other individuals in the room. She seemed fixated on was happening down below. The outer wall of her office was reinforced glass, specifically the kind she could see out of but nobody looking up could see in.

Down below was a large arena of sorts. Well, sometimes it was. Other times it functioned as a circus, sometimes it functioned as a training facility. Currently several contestants were fighting for their lives. Or was it money? Fame? It was hard to keep track. Not like it mattered, the only thing of importance was the entertainment of the crowd.

"People have tendency to do the opposite. They try their best to blend in with society. To live properly I suppose. In the end though it's impossible to completely suppress one's true nature. Why do you think people find it so hard to look away when something tragic happens? Because deep down it entertains them, it didn't happen to them after all. Just listen to some of the conversation sometime. "Did you see what happened to him? Got ripped apart!" Always a tiny bit of glee even when they try to hide it."

She paused for a moment and smirked as the crowd roared in excitement. "Remind me to restock the ponchos, we're getting more people wanting to sit in the splash zone. Oh right, where was I? Do you see everything around you? Did you take in the sights when they were bringing you both to me?" Two of the men nodded their heads and replied "yes".

"I know it's a work in progress. We have much more to go but I've worked hard to get this far. Just to give people a place where they can revel in what they truly are. I've clawed my way up from nothing to get here. Sacrificed years of my life doing thankless work just for the good of these fine people."

"Do you know how much blood I've had to spill? I mean literally, I've ruined an awful lot of nice carpets. How many organizations I've had to rein in? How much bullshit I've had to deal with? How many lives I've had to destroy? Granted it's all pretty fun but it's still a lot of work. Especially when you've got a few specific law-abiding citizens who just can't seem to let you go."

"Now you two have the audacity to come here so you could apologize for disrupting one of my operations? Is that it? You, the one on the right. Call it." She flipped a coin and caught it as the man replied "heads". A second later his body slumped to the ground. "Sorry, wrong."

"Oh, would ya look at that. He was actually right, it was heads. My mistake. Well, he had an ugly suit anyway. You, the other one. Can you guess how much time you set me back with your little mistake? Go ahead, guess." Easier said than done since the other man was currently trying to plead for his life. He did manage to mumble out some answer which only caused him to meet the same fate as his partner.

"What did he say? I mean the answer was probably like five minutes at max but that's five minutes I could have used on some good coffee. Speaking of, did you send over that pumpkin spice nonsense he likes? Good."

The two bodies were rather unceremoniously drug out of the office. She'd stand up and stretch before turning and facing the only one left in the room besides her.

"Amrin and Typhon have arrived at their destination. Roland is heading to Atlas, and Zarla is working on a special project. I have need of your services."

They signed in reply "Who am I taking out?"

"Does it matter?"

Shaking their head "no".

"Didn't think so."

[symunuk]

Ikkath had always been fascinated by music. Or, specifically, my music.

I was out behind the worg pens - a terrible place for anyone with a functioning nose, far enough from the house and its windows that I could practise covertly - and he still tracked me down the moment I started playing. Perhaps it was the novelty of the instrument. He’d never seen me with a lute. Indeed, no one else in the family had. Or would. My little secret, for whenever Ob’rag had boxed my ears or Durz and Father were fighting, a warped string-instrument and a pocket book of fingering charts I kept in oilskins in the hollow tree back there. 

I was in the mud, plucking my way through a chord progression, and then Ikkath was there with me. Silent and expectant. He knows this time isn’t for him - and yet, that makes me want to share it with him. Because he’s the one that actually understands.

It had been Hogarth that drove me out. The older he gets, the worse he becomes. I wasn’t sure if it was his behaviour, or the fact that it was harder to forgive as he reached an age where some tact is to be expected, but knowing wouldn’t make it easier. He’ll be out with us the next time a warring party is required - he’s old enough to know better.

Don’t tell Ma about the shit I’m doing when she’s not watching.

Don’t threaten to tell Ma to get your way.

(I hit him. It wasn’t just once.)

Narga had been proud of me the first time I hit her like that - said I’d take after her, that I was finding my rage, that I wouldn’t be into the same ‘poncy cleric shit’ Durz is even though I’d been taking after Father. But she’s five years older, and she’d never hit me back.

(So I suppose it wasn’t Hogarth making me leave.)

Plucking the strings keeps my fists from clenching again. I can be frustrated at how hard this stupid thing is to play, and that’s distraction enough. I couldn’t stand to play a drum right now, anyway. It’s starting to become unbearable to play it whilst we march. It’s unbearable to march, it’s unbearable to fight in a hoard that can’t appreciate your blood as its spilled for them, it’s unbearable the way Ma looks at Ikk when he snivels and Hog when he asks if he can play drums too.

(If I don’t leave soon, all that will be left to do is to become my sister. And hope that’s enough to not become my brothers.)

Ikkath sits with me, quietly, and doesn’t ask why his little brother was crying. So I play, for him.

[bleakfated]

tw: alcohol and drug abuse, self-destruction, alienation

At the time of the death of his parents, Teddy was dating a fellow hunter. The pair met at Harvelle's Roadhouse and hit it off pretty quickly only a few months after Jerry had told him about the place. They didn't take that fateful vampire case together however, he worked it alone. From time to time he would take a case on his own for a moment to clear his mind or something caught his eye when he was traveling back from visiting his family. While there wasn't any added strain on the relationship from any misplaced blame, this incident would eventually be their undoing. All of Teddy's own doing.

While he shouldn't have placed all the guilt on himself, he did. It took a month for him to track down the vengeful mate and kill it. During that time, he was almost impossible to get along with. Brooding, obsessive, all the behavior that most hunters have seen out of another or within themselves when it all gets to be too personal. Whenever he lashed out, Teddy would quickly catch himself with a bunch of apologies and promises that he just needed to find this thing and he would be able to put it all behind him and be a man worthy of her.

When he killed it... nothing seemingly changed. More aptly, he was on a downward spiral. Teddy was drinking almost every night and taking some hallucinogenic drugs; he was trying to find any way to fill the emptiness he felt. More than one hunter had warned him that keeping his family close wasn't a good idea, but he hadn't listened. Now his parents were dead and the rest of his family hated him. She stuck through it all, desperate to find a way to save him from himself, but the final straw was when he tried to go after some ghouls with her while he was drunk.

In his drunken stupor, Teddy admitted that he had hunted more than once while he was drunk or high. Tearfully, she told him that she had realized she could not help him if he didn't want to save himself -- that she couldn't do this anymore. Teddy pleaded with her, the confession being sobering, but it was too late in her eyes. She left without a second glance back, for herself, so she wouldn't have to watch him destroy himself. That was the last time he heard from her. His number blocked from her phone. It took a few months of pitying himself after that, but he managed to clean up his act after meeting Cameron and finding purpose in helping the younger man find purpose of his own.

She had changed his life and meeting her at The Roadhouse was still the best moment of his life. This heavily factored into his decision to open up a hunter bar of his own. Over the years, he has tried to find her again but has always turned up empty. While he's hooked up plenty of times since her, the ghost of her is what keeps him from truly opening up to someone in any romantic sense. After all this time he doesn't think he deserves to have someone love him like she did and nobody deserves to have someone like him be in love with them. He was a burden, a dangerous gamble, because he doesn't know if he would be able to hold himself together if something happens to Cameron or any of the other hunters he has (begrudgingly) let in as close friends.

Teddy is able to control himself around alcohol and now drinks socially. When he has a bad case, he gives himself one night of drinking before busying his mind with actively managing the bar for a few weeks. His personal experience gives him a bit of an eye for recognizing the spiral in hunters at his bar top early and he tries to offer them a listening ear and advice, or at the very least suggest they find someone they can open up to. When it becomes clear that they aren't heeding his warnings, he will refuse to serve them until they show some semblance of progress.

** I am leaving details about this hunter vague in hopes of this being a filled ~wanted connection~ that I have started to list on my blog. For this specifically I would want a partner I've written with for a bit and am comfortable with; but at the very least this is insight into why Teddy is uninterested in anything but one night stands and maybe a very casual friends with benefits situationship in very rare cases **