#I want to play dnd so freaking bad

[chaoticallyfluffy]

Okay so I posted this in the Captain Marvel Fan Club Community earlier:

And I just can’t get it out of my head!! So I’m writing some more about how the game would hypothetically work!

The gods gifts would probably have to be slightly modified to line up with the games ability scores, and each character (up to six) can be blessed with one attribute being much higher than the others, sort to like how the siblings in the movie each specialize in one power! If there were only three players, each could get two!

Solomon gives the gift of Wisdom

Hercules gives the gift of Strength

Atlas gives the gift of Constitution

Murcury gives the gift of Dexterity

Achilles gives the gift of Intellegence

Zeus gives the gift of Charisma

I think everyone’s gift fits pretty well surprisingly! Both Achilles and Atlas were super compatable with constitution, but Achilles was an intelligent man and Atlas… not so much. Maybe Achilles can also give you a health boost or something, idk.

The god who blessed you would likely speak to you occasionally to give you tips, inspiration, advantage, or blessings.

You will be infused with magic straight from the Rock so you aren’t strictly limited to classes related to a god like a paladin Is, (but it would be pretty cool to have a Champion be a paladin ngl.)

You can study how to use your magic with the grimoires in the library and become a wizard, pledge your allegiance to your diety (or a different one? Ooh drama!) and become a sorcerer or paladin, or even abandon your magic all together and use your empowered form to punch your enemies as a fighter! There’s so many paths you can choose!

I don’t know much about the lore unfortunately but It would be pretty cool to explore different worlds whenever there is a magical issue in that universe and have to fight various creatures and villains to achieve your goals!

And at the end of the day, you can go back to Fawcett to either rest or fight the villains invading your town! Maybe even team up with other hero’s or catch the attention of the Justice league!

I already made a character sheet for Captain Marvel that I’ll never be able to use and now I wanna make character sheets for all the villains too lol. What would mr mind even be? Are there evil mind controlling caterpillars in dnd?

Anyway, I’m going to go suffer knowing this game will never exist. Bye! :,D

[videolover]

oh my god if the thing to do is like. join random online dnd campaigns. i'll just die. i don't wanna play with people i don't know... that seems like such a bad way to do it..

[katamarei]

I'm so paranoid that I'll clench my jaw too hard and accidentally remove/crack/etc my temporary filling for absolutely no reason. it literally can't happen it's sunk in pretty well, I've pulled my lip back and my top tooth barely even touches it like girl. relax.

idk why I'm like this!! it's not even the actual dental work that bothers me it's just all the taking care of it after where I'm just AAAA it feels like so much can go wrong!!

[fungusgnat444]

Random König headcanons

SFW and NSFW also (don’t worry if you just want SFW everything is labeled), mentions of anxiety/poor self worth, autistic coded König, nerd könig, angst if you squint, mentions of size difference, mentions of a gun kink(nothing too fucked up I promise), könig wears a buttplug lol, Slight breeding kink, mentions of creampie, assumed unprotected sex (wrap it up tho fr), König being a lil freak in general honestly, kinda sub König in some parts but also some dom, afab femme reader, descriptions of anatomy(mostly him but a little about reader too),reader works with könig, I think that’s it

Real name: Jacob Schröder

Age:26 (born September 30th because I said so)

home town: Badgastein (it’s so pretty and snowy☺️)

appearance: 6”10, deep auburn curly hair, very pale with freckles, large, aquailine nose, super thick eyelashes and eyebrows, blue/green eyes (like mostly blue but with a little green)

SFW

Although he love physical touch his favourite love language is quality time and I can not be convinced otherwise. At first you thought it was a little creepy how he would just silently sit with you basically doing nothing but he genuinely likes just spending time with you. Sees you alone in the mess hall? Even if he’s already eaten he’ll just sit and watch you eat in silence. Reading a book? He’ll sit you in his lap and read over your shoulder (secretly thinks most of the books you read are garbage but he doesn’t really care). He honestly just likes that you’re there, you don’t even have to do anything lol. Likes physical affection too but in a more subtle way usually. Sometimes cuddling and making out or whatever overwhelms him and makes him feel claustrophobic. Most of the time he just likes holding your hand or having his hand resting on your thigh or playing with your hair while you have your head in his lap. Loves it when you play with his hair too, usually puts him to sleep.

speaking of which this man can and will sleep anywhere. On days he’s not working he’ll probably have to have at least one nap or he’ll get all grumpy. As much as you feel bad for him when he’s tired you have to admit he always looks so cute. All puffy eyed and pouty. Often forces you to nap with him even if you tell him you’re not tired. If you just wait for him to fall asleep and try to leave he’s immediately awake and holding you so tight you almost feel like you’ll pass out. He could sleep through an air raid but if you try to leave he’s on high alert. Also I fear because he’s broken his nose so many times, this man’s snoring will make your house shake.

I can’t explain why but I feel like he’s a massive nerd. Like has a protective glass case filled with warhammer 40k figurines, probably spent his entire live savings on a pc, camps out at stores when a new game is getting released, rants at you about the Halo lore type of nerd. also he’s definitely forced you to watch Star Trek and hates that the next generation is your favourites. Is definitely a dungeon master So if you show even the slightest interest in dnd our boy is stuttering, blushing, trying to get you to join his dnd group. Bitte schatz, I came up with a whole new campaign just for you🥺 you’ll like it I swear.

Although it might be a little toxic I definitely think he can be overly protective/possessive of you. Honestly you kind of like it but you know he only acts this way because he’s insecure. Making you sit in his lap when he has friends over so they know not to look at you to much, making you wear his jacket if you get too much attention in public and glaring at any man who walks past. You always know he’s feeling jealous when his pupils are like pin pricks and he’s breathing like a bull with his fists clenched. He’s gotten into fights a few times so you usually have to calm him down. He’s always super embarrassed and apologetic after. Buying you some expensive pretty thing so you don’t hate him. Even if you don’t care or kinda like it he always feels guilty. He feels guilty a lot in general with you. That such a pretty sweet girl is stuck with him. As such he doesn’t take compliments very well. Usually clenching his jaw and furrowing his thick brows while he mutters something passive aggressive to himself, “Scheiß lügner…”. Although if you keep saying the compliment and giving him attention he’ll eventually start believing you. Blushing and struggling to look at you.

Probably takes him quite a while to feel comfortable showing you his full face or even telling you his real name. Even once you’ve already seen it sometimes he still hides his face on days he’s feeling particularly insecure. Once before you’d seen his face you asked one of his friends, horangi, about it. He said they’d known each other almost a decade and he’d only seen his face a few times, most of which were accidental. König had a pretty miserable time as a teenager. He only really bulked out when he was about 17, right before he joined the military. Believe it or not he was pretty scrawny for most of his life. Once he said he used to be built like a lamppost. Before the military he was generally quite quiet and timid. He still is almost always very quiet. This in combination with his more nerdy interests and the fact that talking to a pretty girl for too long gave him a nosebleed made him a pretty easy target for bullies. He was always shy about his appearance but in the early days of his military career his self esteem plummeted when he got a face full of shrapnel during a mission. Luckily they got him to a medic fast but there’s only so much they could do. He hates the scars. Hates the attention. You’re the only person who’s ever made him feel better about it. Kissing every scar, cooing at him while he cries into your chest after another shitty day. Tell him you’re proud of him and how handsome he is. Even if he doesn’t believe it, he at least feels better knowing you believe it at least.

NSFW

He has barely any experience but he fucks with such desperation that it never ceases to make your legs shake. Loves folding you into whatever position he wants and just spearing you like a fish in a barrel, unable to move or escape. Can get a little too rough sometimes when he’s lost in the moment but the moment he sees any form of discomfort from you he whispering soft apologies in your ear and slowing his pace till he’s balls deep just gently grinding against you while he kisses away your tears. As much as he loves treating you like a rag doll. Deep down all he wants is to satisfy you. Sometimes he won’t even fuck you he’ll just eat you out for a few hours like he’s digging for gold. Love tasting you more than anything else. Especially when you’re overstimulated and clutching his empty head between your soft thighs like you’re trying to crush him.

this man is hung like a god. It’s almost too big. Every time it’s a struggle for you to take it all. The struggle only makes it hotter for him. Loves it when you look up at him all teary eyed, pouting because you’re disappointed you can’t fit anymore in. He loves making a mess of you and he’s so fucking good at it. But he’s just as much a mess for you too. Whimpering and panting like a dog with your hands around his neck. Begging you to let him fill you up with yet another load.

I feel like he probably has a few kinks that are a little obscure. Like he loves eating you out through a pair of tights, hearing them rip loudly in his tight grip right before he impales you. Wearing a buttplug while he’s fucking you makes his brain turn to sawdust. Sloppily plunging into you in doggy and drooling on your sweaty back from above. Letting you ride him, telling him he’s not allowed to move while you hold the barrel of one of his handguns against his forehead or stuffed in his mouth (it’s unloaded of course, he’s not actually insane). If you surprise him by pulling the trigger, that little clicking noise will have him gasping shakily and his eyes rolling back. The noises he makes are absolutely whorish. So desperate and loud and involuntary.

he loves aftercare both giving and receiving. After sex he’s just as fragile as you are. Usually shaking and panting for a good while as he peppers you in thousands of kisses. Loves having a bath with you after. You laying on his chest while he washes your hair for you. Always asks you if he did a good job. He’s like a puppy after he’ll do anything you ask.

German translations: “bitte schatz” please sweetheart. “Scheiß Lügner” fucking liar

[shrimptacodaniels]

something something loser trio headcanons because i can’t stop thinking about them 

—PART ONE—

RUTH FLEMING: 

got called “phlegmy fleming” in elementary school because she has horrible seasonal allergies. the nickname stuck until middle school. she transferred during eighth grade. 

200% a cat person. she loves cats and wanted one when she moved out. both of her parents are extremely allergic. 

her favorite color was red. after her death and the events of npmd, it makes peter sick to look at anything red not just because of blood. 

the least squeamish person to walk the face of the earth (which can be corroborated by her behavior in npmd). she loved dragging pete and richie to haunted houses in the autumn. 

she and pete met in tap class when they were 6 years old. upon learning pete’s name, ruth gasped and asked “like spider-man?!” they’ve been friends ever since. 

ruth loved to give pete a hard time. a lot of the innuendos she made were at his expense (read: to freak him out). when he’d get too into his head, a dirty joke was, in her opinion, the best way to snap him out of it. 

big on social media stalking. she knew so much about so many people. shared all of what she knew (good, bad, and ugly) with richie and pete. 

definitely was a girl scout growing up. hated it. had a massive crush on one of the older girls and freaked out over it. 

has taken the am i gay test 34 times (just to be sure). 

came out to richie first after a trial run of “practice kissing” each other. they both cried. he came out to her the same day (messy bisexual icons). 

they teased each other equally and often about the other’s taste in men and women. 

when they both came out to pete (at the same time), he flipped, asking if “anyone in this damn town stuck to one gender?” (bc ted swings all ways, be so fr). after steph comes out to him as bi, he remembers the remark and tears up a bit. 

loved to lust over ted as a bit. pete hated it. 

coffee > tea. argued about this with richie almost daily. 

she loved wine mom romance novels an embarrassing amount. 

was in the library’s dnd club for 3 years to “improve her acting skills.” loved to play incredible horny bards

would have loved short n’ sweet. slim pickings??? taste??? JUNO????

planned the trio’s halloween costume every year. they always coordinated.

loved the muppets movies growing up

her favorite musical was spring awakening. 

her dream role was sally bowles in cabaret. 

DEFINITELY would have named her cat(s) after characters from cats (the musical) 

loved her friends more than anything in the world. but especially loved to antagonize them :) 

(I’m ill about her. Like seriously.)

[madxyy]

anything for munson - eddie munson x fem!reader

| summary: you try to take care of a drunk eddie munson

| warnings: smut-ish, use of y/n once, mention of drinking, eddie being a menace even when he is drunk, friends to lovers, dry humping, kissing, pet names, a little bit of steve x reader, use of she/her, a lil fluff, flirting?

a/n: help.

You told him. No, you warned him. Damn you for giving in and going with him to this stupid party that you didn’t even want to go to in the first place, but dear-old-you loved him too much. All you wanted to do was spend the saturday night in his trailer, learning how to play dnd while the bad horror movies you both picked out roared in the background, glances—that held so much more than a glance—shared across the room, him offering you weed while you declined him but thank him for offering it to you anyways, which then leads him to respond with a dramatic knife to the heart and sad puppy dog eyes that you love oh-so-much. 

But no, now you’re stuck dragging drunk Eddie to his room while one of your arms is circled around his waist and the other one holding his hand that is resting on your shoulder. 

Damn Steve for challenging him to a keg stand, steve was already 4 shots in when he stumbled in your conversation, basically headlocking him, “hey munson,” he slurred “I bet I can beat your cult-loving-freak ass to a keg stand, what’d you say?” eddie craned his neck to steve, a sly smirk slowly creeping its way onto his lips “alright pretty boy, what do I get in return?” he scoffs, “you gotta be kidding me munson, you are in MY house, drinking MY beer, eating MY snacks, lounging around in MY kitchen while also getting the chance to flirt with y/n, thanks to me if I must say, so you basically got a whole package deal” you and eddie both tensed up as a tinge of pink overtakes both your faces

“i’m not flirting harrington that’s just my natural charm” he says humorously, steve scoffs 

“yeah sure, and I have a successful love life”  

“still as charming as ever steve even when you’re drunk,” 

His eyes darted to yours–a mischievous look behind those hazel eyes–as he looked at you up and down, slowly walking up towards you “mm only for you baby” he winks “oh well...in that case, let’s take this party upstairs shall we?” giving him a sly smirk. Eddie just watches you two, jaw clenched, eyes set on the way steve is leaning towards you, hands on his chest while you bodaciously bat your eyelashes at him, the way his lips are bitten between his teeth just by looking at you. He knows you and steve always joke around like this and that nothing will ever happen but he can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy, even though you are a free woman and can date whoever you want, he just can't help seeing you with anybody else. As soon as steve puts a hand on your waist, Eddie puts a hand on his chest, pushing him off just a little bit rough then he was meaning to, “alright harrington, let’s go” he said in a dark tone, steve gaze switches to you from eddie, blinking at him, “wait wait so just to be clear you know you are getting absolutely nothing in return, right?.”

 He glances back behind you “Damn babe, did a tornado enter my humble abode” he says while dramatically putting a hand towards himself to indicate ‘moi?.’  You pushed down the way the nickname made a blush crept onto your cheeks. “No munson, that would be you and your own drunken recklessness” he snorts. 

You let go of his hand and open his bedroom door, gently laying him on his side. You get up to get a trash can to put on the side of the bed but a hand stops you midway “where you goin’ princess?” he says looking up at you with a lopsided smile. “just going to get a trash can and a cold rag eds” he stares up at you with the most starstruck expression like he can’t believe someone wants to actually take care of him. It pains you. After beats of silence you clear your throat, he sighs “okay”. He reluctantly lets go of your hand, letting the touch of each other's hands linger “I’ll be back” you offer him a soft reassuring smile. 

After you come back and put the trash can on the side of his bed you ask him to hold the rag on his head while you undress him. As you start taking off his shoes and pants “jeez take me on a date first sweetheart” you ignore him as you continue to slide his black pants down his legs.

“Shut up munson, do you want to be sweating balls through the night?”, he gives you a pout that is just too cute, you just want to kiss it off him. 

“Exactly” 

You put the sheets over him and grab the cold rug from his limp hand “Thank god, my hand was exhausted!” you shake your head while giggling. Always one for the dramatics. “Oh no! We cannot let Eddie THE Banished hands go limp, we must save the hand doctor before it’s too late!” he gives you a look “har har har, very funny sweetheart” pride takes over you as you smirk down towards him. You realized, you never REALLY got to observe his features up close like the way his eyes crinkle when he gives you a slight smile, how his eyes are usually a dark shade of brown but right now the lamp on his nightstand is giving them a beautiful hue of caramel, the way his nose is so perfectly curve “Y’know you are very beautiful sweetheart” wait. Shaking your head to get out of your own thoughts, you nervously chuckled. “Eddie, you're drunk.” He rolls his eyes 

“No I mean it, sober and not sober,” softly cupping your cheeks, 

“you are so beautiful. Cross my heart”, you inhale sharply. 

You froze, you couldn't say anything, your mouth was opening and closing but no words were coming out. He laughs. HE LAUGHS?!?!  

“Sweet heart calm down, i’m pretty sure you get told that all the time” he said it so casually it astonished you. The only time someone has ever called you pretty was one of your family members, especially when you were little. The room all of a sudden turned silent. Oh. Oh shit. Realization quickly dawned on him as his eyes bulged out of his head while millions of thoughts raced through his head, ‘people are out of their goddamn mind for not telling you every single day how beautiful you are’, ‘what?!?! who? when? where? and most importantly why?, ’screw them all’, ’how can they not??’. He composed himself and slowly sat up “Well..” clearing his throat as he got closer to you. He looked up at you under his lashes then to your lips, god your lips. He didn’t know he was subconsciously licking his “they should.” You inhaled sharply. All of a sudden you’re aware of how close you two are “Eddie what..” he was still staring at your lips like he was in a trance and couldn’t escape no matter what you did, you even scooted back a little but that just made him scoot closer to you “Eds come o-” you were cut off by a pair of soft lips that made you gasp which to eddie, gave him access to slip his tongue in. You let out a whimper and god eddie swears it was the most beautiful noise he has ever heard. Embarrassed, you hastily disconnect your lips from his, “Eddie, oh my god i'm sorry” you both stare at each other with swollen lips and flushed cheeks “No baby, don’t apologize that was the hottest shit i’ve ever heard” he said breathlessly, before you can utter a response, his lips were on yours again, except this time more aggressive, more passionate, less gentle. 

He grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap. It was messy, everything about this was messy, sloppy, hands everywhere. His hand was gripping the nape of your neck while the other one was situated on your waist slowly making its way down your thigh. Your arms looped around his head. “Baby” he murmurs “you don’t know how long i've been wanting to do this” you made a sound in the back of your throat as a sign of acknowledgement and nodded. He smiled into the kiss. His thumbs were rubbing back and forth on your thighs, making you subconsciously open them up wider. You started rubbing yourself on his thigh, back and forward, back and forward, until something made you freeze. Something hard touched the side of your thigh. oh Oh? OH You looked up at him breathlessly, guilt automatically taking over-shit-as much as you wanted this to happen, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. “Eddie holy shit. We really shouldn't have done this. I'm so sorry, i’m supposed to be taking care of you, oh my god, i'm so sorry” you say hastily. He understands, he really does but he can’t help it, you are so captivating that all he can do is smile at you with admiration “I mean…” he says dragging the ‘e.’ “technically you are taking care of me just in a…..unique way.” he smirks, this cocky son of a bitch. You rolled your eyes and giggled as you hit him on the chest “Eds i’m serious” you whispered “I want to do this the right way, when you’re sober”  he gently strokes your cheekbones “I understand sweetheart” You sigh. He connects his forehead with yours. After moments of silence “Do you want to go on a date with me?” asked in the most gentle tone you have ever heard, like the question was made of glass. He looked up at you with a hopeful expression -- like a little kid waiting in line to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas –  which you couldn’t say no to “Of course eds” he smiles up at you with lovesick eyes, before anything else “but we’ll talk more about this in the morning, I don’t think right now is the right time” you say giving him a gentle smile.

He exhales deeply but then nods because you’re right. He is sober for the most part but still a little bit drunk and not in the right mind space. You gently get off him and lay down beside him. Eddies turns to you 

“thanks for taking care of me” 

you smile “i’ll always take care of you munson.” 

His smile extends “goodnight sweetheart”,

you were about to say goodnight until you glanced behind his shoulder and caught the sight of something. Confusion settles in him as you turn him to face the other side of the bed “what are you doing babe” you blinked up at the set of curls facing you, “making sure you don’t choke on your own vomit munson, I put that trash can there for a reason.” The back of his head starts moving as he shakes his head “Damn baby, are you sure that’s the reason? Or Is it because you can’t handle looking at this beautiful, gorgeous, sexy face” rolling your eyes “can it munson or i’ll suffocate you in your sleep” slightly turning his head over his shoulder “I mean I have other ideas of what you can suffocate me with” you can practically hear the smirk in his voice “OH MY GOD” you say as you hit him with a pillow “eddie just go to sleep” he just keep on giggling like it was such a knee slapper. You hit on the arm, “okay okay” he says breathlessly 

“i’ll go to sleep, just for you princess” 

“good.” 

Now he’s the one that can hear the smirk in your voice and all he can do is shake his head as he turns back to the other side of the bed. After a few seconds you scoot closer to his back. Hands cautiously circling around his waist “Is this alright?” you asked softly. He chuckled “Of course” he whispers as his hands engulfs the one holding his waist. “Goodnight eddie”, smiling to himself, “goodnight sweetheart.” 

Maybe going to the party was worth it.

[lil--nuggett]

Hey guys, so if you know Baldur's Gate 3 this is an AU for that with Hardenshipping but it's really fucked up. I will explain why it's fucked up below the cut.

Maxie is a High Half-Elf Warlock (his patron is Groudon), and Archie's a Human Fighter <3

Also I just realized this is the first time you have seen me draw Archie seriously lmao my bad guys I'll try to draw him again soon

I took a ton of inspiration for various things for these designs, including Guile for Archie's armor bc I love Guile sm!!

(More info and our dumb AU lore under here - No BG3 Spoilers I promise <3)

I'm going to tell you this now... this gets really fucking crazy and honest to god I know I'm going to have a hard time explaining this. It WILL be quite long and I WILL be yapping.

This AU is really just something we did on impulse and it's really fun to mess around with, so I'm hoping you all will enjoy the concept as well :)

I'll try to explain it simply as I can. I thank you in advance to all who sit here and read this ily sm if you read it all <3333

Anyways, okay so imagine how one could do a bg3 AU for these two fuckers...

And throw it right out the window because you'll never guess how me and my friend have done it.

The Backstory:

This all started when my friend decided to play BG3 for the first time, and he jokingly said to me "Should I make Maxie our main character??" and I replied "I you want, but I won't force you" and thus BG3 Maxie was created, and his misadventures began.

Now your probably wondering (if you've played the game) what about the guardian?? Who did we make the guardian?? Well, we made Archie the guardian. However, I did not know just how wild this idea would get within the next few days.

So, eventually we realized how crazy the BG3 lore actually is (it's a like fucking DnD campaign idk how we didn't realize this beforehand), and so, we jokingly started our own "AU Lore" that ties in with the BG3 Lore.

If you really want to know, I have an entire note in my notes app dedicated to keeping track of what happens. It is very long.

The Parasite:

Now, if you've played the game or know anything about it, you know about the Mindflayer parasites. Well, one fateful day, me and my friend joked that the Parasite in Maxie's head was this little freak who looks like Archie.

The two have no correlation other than looks, its completely coincidence and it's not a mimic situation. The Parasite "Archie" does nothing but talk nonsense to Maxie all the time, and initially the bit was that he only talked about Fortnite. All because I made the joke that the dream realm in game looked like a fortnite update. By now, that bit has fallen off (thank god), replaced by just general nonsense and lies.

Also he fucking looks like this:

Weird little freak. This is just one of his talk sprites I have, this is just his neutral expression.

So basically it's:

- Maxie was supposed to be on a Geology research trip, but instead he got dragged into the Parasite issue with the rest of the companions. He really just wants to get home to Archie.

I am the one who handles everything for Maxie in this AU, I do his voice, I handle his lore, etc.

- Parasite Archie is this 1 foot tall, neco arc-esque version of Archie that sits on Maxie's shoulder and tells him nonsensical things. He also says Maxie's name wrong, he says Maxie's full first name and pronounces it as "Maximilliam" instead of the "N" at the end. For Maxie it's like handling a toddler but the toddler fights back, doesn't shut up, and threatens your life. He also has a ton of his own lore that my friend continously adds on to, so I can make another post with just the parasite's part of things.

My friend handles everything with the Parasite himself, comes up with the lore, does the voice, etc. I simply keep track of it.

- The "dream visitor" version of Archie is not real either. It's linked to the Parasite in ways that if I get into it, I will spoil a good chunk of the game. Sorry. Just know you can consider this and Parasite Archie kind of as one in the same almost.

- The REAL Archie is still at home, completely unaware of what's happening, while Maxie is fighting for his life. He does miss him, though, and hopes he gets home soon. He and Maxie are only boyfriends, they haven't gotten married yet. (They also haven't been through their rivalry yet, as this all takes place before that happens.)

Sorry for the convoluted yap sesh, I just have more art planned for this stupid AU and- God I cannot possibly just post this shit with no context. Like, I'd have to explain it eventually so I might as well do it now beforehand yk 😭😭

I might do separate posts with our HCs and some silly conversations that have happened between Parasite Archie and Maxie if you guys would want that :)

Also, I do have all of the sessions from where my friend plays the game recorded and I'll be sure to post some clips of what Parasite Archie sounds like eventually, possibly with snippets of my shitty Maxie voice in there as well. You'll get to see the talk sprites in action with that, too.

[akindofmagictoo]

"what do you want to know about Iphigenia" EVERYTHING. I just love hearing about other people's dnd ocs.

I'm particularly interested in the nature of her warlock pact and her relationship with he brother. Because I know her father killed her?? tried to kill her??? but she clearly misses/cares about her brother. Is he dead? still with their father?

(hilariously the other iphigenia dnd PC I know of also had complicated brother things going on...)

But also warlock stuff because I really love warlocks. They're one of my favorite classes, and I think they just have SO much potential for storytelling built into the class itself. Coming up with patron dynamics and how involved (or uninvolved) they are in the warlock's life is always SO much fun. I have 3 warlock characters (two of which haven't truly gotten played but are very developed) and all three of them have DRASTICALLY different relationships with their patrons. (One was forced into it, one is buddies with their patron, and one of them doesn't even know they're a warlock, actually.)

It's after 4am here, so I really need to go to bed (thank FUCK I don't have classes tomorrow... I would be dead if I did), but I will be VERY excited to read what you reply in the morning!!! 💖💖💖

(hi, if you hadn't guessed, this is @memento-morri-writes.)

well hello there! yes, i did gather it was you :))

warlock pact, her brother, and her father...? yeah, so this is basically a rundown of Iphigenia's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. praise the Lord for the read more function, or i'd have to apologise to a lot of followers.

(Waterdeep: Dragon Heist spoilers abound)

(also, my standard set of trigger warnings for this backstory: murder, family violence (very literal), cult activity, human sacrifice, and mentions of mutilation.)

Iphigenia is an aasimar, adopted shortly after birth by a very high-up noble family - the Cassalanters. she is now 19. the family by now have three other children: Osvaldo, who is eleven months older than Iphigenia; and Terenzio and Elzerina, who are twins and about to turn nine.

well. Osvaldo is... complicated. he disappeared three years ago. don't worry about that. but he and Iphigenia were so close; Iphigenia has never trusted anyone so deeply and instinctively as she trusted him. she was always the slightly better politician (Osvaldo's bad with consequences, ie he very rarely experiences them), and he was the more reckless of the two, but he would NEVER let any of his siblings come to harm. i love him, your honour.

we'll get to him.

the day before the campaign, Iphigenia was woken in the middle of the night by her father. he said he needed her help with something; she went with him, a bit confused, but trusting him. that's her dad. it's so cool that he needs her help with something! of course it won't be bad.

still, she was a bit uncertain, so she asked what was up. he cast Charm Person on her. everything's fine and cool. off they go, further into the house, down into what used to be the family crypt (it had supposedly been buried some years before). she sees that she's standing in a rune circle. he wants her to help with some magic? awesome! she's not exactly a wizard or anything, but she is a nerd, so she's happy to help. (the charm person has nothing to do with this, obviously)

but the charm does break when she looks over and realised he has carved a sigil into her wrist. (oh, and the rune circle bursts into flames for the aesthetic)

naturally, she starts freaking out. he casts Hold Person on her. and he keeps working. obviously Iphigenia is not freaking out any less, but she can't move now. it's... fun.

finally, finally, the Hold Person wears off. her arms are pretty much useless now, both forearms covered in sigils. but she can run, so she tries to. she hesitates at the edge of the fire, just for a second. his arms go around her from behind - and that's her dad, he's giving her a hug, how nice!

until she feels cold metal catch at her throat, and hot blood gushing down her chest.

he holds her while she bleeds out, begging him to save her even as her words are drowned by the blood she's choking on. she begs in Common and Celestial, unknown to her. she's dying. she's really not thinking.

and then she does die. like properly dead.

so this next bit isn't anything she properly remembers, but her father's summoning circle rerouted; instead of dialing a devil, it summoned a celestial. Iphigenia's mother (one of her birth mothers. they're lesbians. Iphigenia has a comically large number of mothers), Irissa Rynmore. who has not realised she has a daughter? i think? or at very least hasn't been able to find her properly. either way, Irissa is very quickly irate about said daughter being dead.

Iphigenia remembers flashes of this - a bright light, a warmth in her chest, and not much else.

the next morning, Iphigenia wakes up back in her own bed. just like she was when her father woke her. well, that was a horrible horrible dream, wasn't it, she thinks... and then she looks in the mirror, and the scars aren't gone. that wasn't a dream. that was real.

this was the morning the campaign began; that evening, she arrived in a tavern looking for the party fighter, as the only person she could think of who could maybe help her fix this. after Iphigenia's brother disappeared, the fighter made sure she got out of the house and didn't get super depressed. Iphigenia, having No Idea How To Deal With This, fled the house and didn't look back.

(fun fact: I wrote this up novel-style. a couple excerpts can be found here. the document could be known as "Iphigenia fails an improbable number of consecutive wisdom saves", but is actually titled "Iphigenia donates blood")

SO. then the campaign happened, and that's been two years of play, so i'm not gonna summarise the whole thing, but some highlights.

Iphigenia, via consensual kidnapping (long story), was returned to her house, and a scene ensued which i like to call The Talk But It's "Your Parents Are Cultists". Iphigenia's parents have a deal with Asmodeus; part of the cost was Osvaldo, and the twins are about to be taken as well. Osvaldo's body is in Lady Cassalanter’s attic, transmuted into a devil and hidden behind powerful protective magic. the twins are fine... for about a week more.

the Cassalanters want to protect the twins (wow, so kind of you to care about the children YOU TRADED AWAY), and there is one possible loophole in an Asmodeus contract. what they told Iphigenia is that they need 1 million gp; they have about half, and the other half can be obtained via the Stone of Golorr, the MacGuffin of the module that leads to a bunch of embezzled treasure hidden in the city.

unrelated, the Cassalanters are hosting a ball, as they do every year, and have opened up 99 places via raffle to the whole city, not just the nobles! wow! cool!

Iphigenia did her own research, and it turns out alongside 1 million gold pieces (well, one million minus one), they also need to sacrifice one hundred minus one souls. sound familiar? yeah. i was fully sobbing OOC, Iphigenia was dead certain she was going to lose all her siblings, because she can't let that happen.

her parents asked her to help obtain the Stone, which she did, and now they want her to help get the three 'keys' needed for the Stone. she's playing along, and definitely terrified that she won't be able to stop them at the last minute, per her plan. but she's a politician at heart (she learned from them); it's the best way she knows how to get information out of them, and also the safest place for her to be until she decides to make her move. we're pretty sure we'll have to confront them at the ball and stop them. we may also forge one of the keys. it's a really really delicate and utterly terrifying game to play. Iphigenia is fighting for her life not to get gaslit (actually i fully got gaslit OOC, that wasn't fun).

the Cassalanter house currently has wards that prevent celestials (Irissa) from getting in. very rude and lowkey racist against the half-celestial Iphigenia, lol. working on fixing that too.

so currently our options for saving the twins are to 1) kill the Cassalanters, 2) kill Asmodeus (lol no), or 3) ask Sarenrae nicely for help. she can shield the twins from Asmodeus's influence.

to save Osvaldo, we can 1) make our own deal with Asmodeus (the fighter correctly pointed out that Osvaldo wouldn't want Iphigenia to, and she's RIGHT), 2) ask Sarenrae for help. there is a cleric multiclass in my future, but that'll probably be after the campaign.

Iphigenia wants to fix this! she wants her parents to be the parents she idolised as a child. she wants them to stop this and repent and come back. i doubt this will work, but if anyone can help me do this, it's the goddess of redemption herself. failing that, i guess we get to do a murder? (the rest of the party has been sharpening weapons to kill these guys since the start of the campaign. weirdly, Iphigenia's goodwill holds a lot of power over them. i'm looking forward to informing them of this fact.)

on pacts: Irissa is an absolute delight. she's very scatterbrained, but so so kind. she regularly shows up to dreamscape tea parties holding books titled stuff like "Parenting Your Adult Child". she's trying so so hard to be a good mum to Iphigenia. to clarify, her wife Selene died in childbirth, which is why Iphigenia was adopted. i haven't had the chance to ask, but i really want to ask Irissa, "do i look like her?"

Irissa is also very ready to smite the Cassalanters. the only reason she didn't kill Lord Cassalanter on the spot was that she was busy healing Iphigenia. would have solved a lot of our campaign problems, but also would have broken the module.

Iphigenia finds her a little overwhelming at times, she's very talkative and kind of a lot, but she's precious and really trying. and honestly, Iphigenia needs one parent who loves her. without Irissa and the party, Iphigenia would have been got by her parents' gaslighting long ago.

right. i think i've outdone you on length of post. enjoy!! i'll see if i can come up with more Rook questions for you 👀 feel free to hit me up with more Iphigenia questions if you want, i have SO many thoughts about my best girl

(1.5k words. could be worse.)

[sb-essebi]

Tag game - Get to know your mutuals!

Thank you for tagging me, @joyful-soul-collector !

What's the origin of your blog title? it's a play on a nickname only my best friend uses IRL.

OTP(s) + Shipname:  lately Jayvik (Jayce/Viktor from Arcane) is all I want to write about. But Dreamling (Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling from Sandman) and Kirk/Spock are still way up there.

Favorite color: Red and blue.

Favorite game: Dnd for board games. For video games it changes all the time, I'll go with Witcher 3 or Baldur's Gate 3.

Song stuck in your head: None right now! But until yesterday I spent three days with Zorra by Nebulossa stuck in my head.

Weirdest habit/trait? This is probably very tame, but for the past month I've gotten into the habit of eating breakfast just standing by the counter, something I've always considered unwell freak behavoiur until now.

Hobbies: Reading, writing, playing video games, watching tv shows, drawing.

If you work, what's your profession? I'm still a student, but I'm finishing my masters soon and already doing a stage so, in practice, translator.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Writer. But, like, I'm paid a living wage to write whatever I want all day long kinda writer.

Something you're good at: Writing, I like to think! I'm also good at cooking.

Something you're bad at: talking to people, especially if I need to ask for help/clarification/advice.

Something you love: Writing... obviously :'D

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Any show or movie or book or game I like, honestly. Also, linguistics.

Something you hate: Rich people who hoard money and do nothing with it. I don't mean just billionaires, I mean my landlord who owns three apartments, evades a bunch of taxes, has a good job and still would rather die than spend 1 cent to fix the door.

Something you collect: I try not to collect anything anymore because I can't keep up with the expenses and/or cleaning. But I do still buy a magnet for each city I visit to keep as a memory. Forgot to say, I love travelling!

Something you forget: ........everything? Severe ADHD here. It'd be easier to say what I don't forget, which is mostly details about my friends' lives.

What's your love language? Quality time and acts of service.

Favorite movie/show: Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean 3 hands down. Show... probably Star Trek the orginal series.

Favorite food: french fries.

Favorite animal: WOLFFFFFFF

What were you like as a child? spent all my free time reading with occasional 16-hours bouts of video games. I was lonely, sheltered, largely unsupervised for as long as I can remember, then left home alone all day by age 11.

Favorite subject at school? Science!

Least favorite subject: Math. Still hate it.

What's your best character trait? Loyal, great listener.

What's your worst character trait? probably the aformentioned difficulty asking for help/clarification/advice

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? cure my ADHD.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? idk man, I just wanna see dinosaurs. But I think it'd be neat to meet Tolkien if only to talk about linguistics with him.

Tag as many mutuals as you want: @ghostboyjules @softest-punk @avelera @blueberrymffn @wistfulchicken @yendarvis @wordsinhaled

[kaleberryshake]

Pd Season 2 Episode 40 spoilers

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Okay, listen. I know William teasing asking Vynce out in this episode was just that-- teasing-- but also, I honestly don't mind this will-they-won't-they. Personally, I love slow burns, and I honestly don't think there was any time in seasons 1-2 where they would've worked as a healthy, functioning couple. There was so much character development needed in both William and Vyncent that I would much rather wait until their relationship lines up at the right time.

We are at a point, with the turn into season 3, where William is more confident in himself and more solid. William was very fickle and freaked out by everything before, running away from every problem and never confronting them. He got easily jealous because of his insecurity, and I think this could've caused a lot of tension in their relationship. I love William, don't get me wrong, but he wouldn't have been the best boyfriend. He was constantly jealous and anxious. Also, the whole Bell Tech incident might've been much worse had they been dating because their feelings would've been much more intense. I do not want to imagine that :)

I also think Vyncent does need that time for character development that Condi is giving him in season 3. All of Vyncent's life, he has been relying on other people. While that's not a bad thing, he hasn't had much time to be independant and discover himself within the world of Prime. For example, once he got to Prime, he had all of these otherworldly DND heroes in his brain, and once they left, all of his time was dedicated to finding Ash, defeating demons, and protecting his friends. I think allowing Vyncent room for this growth is a really smart play. We've seen a lot of William's romantic feelings for Vyncent, but not much the other way, so I think that this is a great time for the exploration if they do include that.

Either way, I trust the boys to resolve it well. I love PD, and I think they play phenominally. I can't wait for the next season!

[dmbakura]

Would you say AA has this sense of thinking he /needs/ to be like Cazador, because that's "what works" and what's "safe"? Like this is who he has to be, and nothing else is viable? That's how I interpreted AA's masking (especially during his sex scene, it seems very insincere and more like what he thinks he needs to be than what he wants) and I can't really make it work with Neil's statements honestly.

I also think he's very much capable of cruelty but the way AA acts is something else entirely to me because it's so goofily a Stereotypical Cartoon Villain Big Bad Sexy Vampire which doesn't really come across as honest in the way, let's say, Gortash's antics seem honest from what we know of the character. Maybe I'm misinterpreting what masking means, idk. I'm definitely not saying it's not honest that he wants to do all that power-hungry shit and that he's secretly a pure tortured soul because that's a lame ass reading that contradicts canon but everything about how he carries himself is so uncanny and all those underlying themes of being really fucking afraid and unable to face what happened/running away from it don't lead me to believe he's living an authentic life, more like he's trapped inside himself.

I don't really see how this contradicts anything Neil said. He never says AA is Astarion's most authentic self at all, or even that he's healthy and confident, only that he stops masking with theatrical deflections.

You also have to account for the supernatural element here too. In dnd lore, most true vampires basically succumb to personality rot and become paranoid and obsessive scheming freaks. I know the 'vampire ascendant' is a new thing and bg3 plays with the lore a bit more but considering this is alluded to by Astarion AND Cazador and heavily reflected in AAs behavior, I'm willing to believe that the vampire ascendant is literally just that but on steroids. Hence the cartoonish behavior lol

Astarion's a complex character. A lot of his arc is a question about how trauma can shape a person and what remains (if anything) after they've gone through something inconceivable, and if they can move past it and reclaim an identity for themself. I don't think it's a coincidence that his background is mostly vague and we don't actually know the kind of person he was before he was turned (unlike *those* fans, I also don't believe 'corrupt magistrate' means he was 'always destined to be evil' or some nonsense like that.) So much of his character is informed by the choices made in the game and how the experiences shape his worldview. He's by far the most dynamic character in the game and people want there to be a simple answer to his character (whether that be 'he's a poor uwu baby who did nothing wrong' or 'he's always been irredeemably evil and is incapable of change') when the reality is there just isn't one.

All this to say, same as what I've been saying from the beginning, both endings for him serve a purpose. They're two sides of the same coin for his character. They are both true to Astarion and his development and they're meant to contrast in ways that make you think deeper about him and his story. They absolutely cannot be taken in a vacuum and I am just so annoyed with people not engaging with the story on this level and wanting there to be simple moral platitudes to everything because they're uncomfortable with complexity.

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

Eighties au for MOTA? 40s AU for stranger things?

Listennn I want a MOTA characters in ST AU fic and ST characters in MOTA AU fic so bad I can taste it 🤣

The Buckies in crop tops and short shorts??? Swooning.

Bucky driving the Camaro, Buck in preppy ass polos, arcade dates, omfl the 100th playing DND would absolutely end me, John and Rosie getting to dance and sing to the absolute bops from the 80’s, I just ahhh ❤️

Harringrove in uniforms or flight suits??? Genuinely unwell.

The angst of just having survived the Great Depression and immediately being thrust into a world war, the yearning and pining and lingering touches as they try to play at being totally straight, I’m still not over them in 40’s style clothing, and if we’re thrusting them into the MOTA universe in particular… the fighting that would ensue in the stalag would be so freaking painful, like they would be toxic as hell in the most delicious way ❤️

I fear I would never recover if this ever got done and I’m okay with that lol

[driderwife]

Ok so here’s extremely barebones info about my Tav cuz ppl are asking and I wanna ramble about dumb fan character stuff cuz it’s fun lol and I actually love this OC now, im probably gonna use him for regular DnD shit when im done with BG3. Sorry for being cringe but like. I’m free and im gonna play this game how I want.

His name is Valence and he’s a half drow storm sorcerer (He should have a drow name but I like hate trying to make them work im not crazy about drow names). I’ve only figured out like, the very basics of his backstory but he was raised in the underdark instead of being banished or killed for his high elf blood, because there’s magic inherent in his bloodline on his drow fathers side so he was deemed useful. I don’t know his early life yet but obviously he was Bullied and Oppressed because duh he’s a little male drow half elf freak.

What I have written so far is that later in his life as an adult he studied and worked under an elderly Matriarch who like whipped and paddled and spanked him. So he’s particularly scared of old women and just submits to women in general. for a lot of his in game choices if a woman is showing authority toward him I just like have him do whatever she says LOL. Hes like I sat my Gray ass down and LISTENED.

As for the romance stuff I have a soap opera going in my head where Valence is like completely enamored with Astarion bc Astarion took his virginity at the ripe age of Old Man & Valence is like easily manipulated by anyone talking him up bc his name is Mud in drow society and usually nobody likes him. also he’s a revenge driven half drow so he lets Astarion do the ascension plot & when that goes sour in their relationship shit Valence is like, do whatever you want to me be evil. Women beated me for fun im a wet napkin for you.

Also you shouldn’t feel bad for valence at all im playing him kinda evil and vindictive and letting him making nasty in game choices. Let the old traumatized twinks be toxic they need to fight it out.

But im also gonna romance Halsin as a poly thing i just haven’t thoroughly plotted that in my head bc i didn’t get very far in his arc yet it takes a WHILE.

Anyways im just having fun with making a truly pathetic dude. Also I love drow men theyre really the Kens of DND universe.

Anyways pls don’t be shy if u wanna tell me about your guys too I think it’s so fun.

[fanficfanatic000]

Small town freak

Scar eddie munson x fem reader in small town

TW 18+ read if you dare

You always lived in this small town your whole life you were always quiet it's not that you hated talking it's just that alot of people in your town weren't interesting. No one liked rock music or dark clothing or horror movies just you the odd fucker out And the men weren't really fun or hot they were nice but they were more focused on work and moving away. Yep small town Everly but little did you know a certain man was gonna walk in your life.You get dressed in your red tank top and black ripped jeans and you quickly put your combat boots and eyeliner on you were craving those spicy chips you love and your favorite drink. You run out the door and you walk to the closest convenience store and minutes passed and you finally arrived you open the door and the bell rings on the door. You rush towards the chips and you grabbed 2 bags one for niw and one for later and you made your way to the drinksYou open the freezer door and you look for your drink until you see it on the bottom shelf. You sighed and bent down when you got bumped into. Pushed on the ground "S-Sorry are you okay? " You look towards the mysterious deep voice to see the dark brown earthy kind eyes. A scar on his left cheek. Messy longer hair and a silver ring cladded hand extended to you. "Hey are you okay?" he said softly. You took his hand and stood up. "Uh yeah im okay..." you look him up and down noticing the dark color pants and a black t shirt under his black leather jacket with the creative Jean vest over it. And you see him look you up and down then his eyes met yours. He visibly gulped pink blush creeping across his cheeks "uh sorry. Can i ask you a question?"You nodded yes "sure." "Um have you played dnd?" You were caught off guard by the question. "Um no i havent well ive wanted to i just never really had anyone who played it.." you rambled. He smiles "well your in luck sweetheart beeeecauseee i have started a club for dnd just show up this friday" he hands you a little hand made card: everly hellfire club starts on Friday"Ive handed like 4 out so it should be enough people " he rocked back and forth. Toe to hill "ill be there... im y/n"He smiles wider "im eddie. I uh i just moved here" he stares at you "well eddie i'll see you friday" "see you frida-y" his voice cracked. .After that interaction you couldn't stop thinking about that boy eddie the way he stood the way he talked and he played dndLike a fucking dream of yours you couldn't wait for friday which was the day after tomorrow and tomorrow you had work at The movies cause you had to pay the rent of your apt room young adult life rip.At your work you had to wear a bright orange red t shirt and black pants. Not bad but not the best on you. passing movie tickets to people all day wasn't bad but it was a small town and most the people were teenagers or the young adult ass wholes who never grew up fully over flowing the cups and spilling everywhere play wrestling eachother when you overheardThem making fun of someone who sounds Pretty familiar "yeah have you seen that freak walking around he gave me a card for nerd club and have you seen his scars he probably cut them himself by the looks of him".... you wanted to kill them just for saying anything about him bad. But you couldn't or you'd be fired. You were on your last strike already from going off on a asshole named Chad. So you ignored it.FridayyyyyyyYES YOU ARE SO FUCKING EXCITED You did everything to look your best slightly messing your hair up eyeliner. Slightly ripped black jeans shorts. Black boots with tiny silver chains and a off shoulder t shirt of your favorite band You were ready and slightly late FUCKKKKKYou rush out the door and drove as fast as you could without officer John seeing.You parked in the almost empty parking lot wondering if you're actually early or late You close the car door and you take a deep breath and walked into the rental lot. You opened the door

part 2 out now follow for more em storytelling

[fake-ascension]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[gimme-da-sword]

You do not understand the GIGANTIC ASS SQUISH I have on Eddie Munson. I want to be a part of hellfire sofa king bad I would sell like, a shit ton of my worldly possessions to do so. I don't want to, I NEED to braid his hair and have him call me "big guy" and literally just coexist with this freaking older brother figure of an entertaining motherfuckerr. Also I want to tease him about Steve SO FUCKING MUCH. I need a gay older brother obsessed with dnd that can teach me how to play and sing metal and also call me out on being a fucking moron. I want to put him in some Tupperware and shake him violently. I need him to comfort me and tell me that hey, this isn't that bad cuz he's done wayyyyyyy worse. I want to make matching battle jackets and dye each others hair green. Like, I have never platonically yearned for anyone, much less a fictional character more than this cunt. I am legit going to tell my therapist about this because I feel like it says something about my intense want for some sort of protector that already knows shit about like punk shit and being queer in real life and also relies on me in a way? I want Eddie to be my fucked up older brother so bad it hurts.