#I want to get at least one good kick in at Hiruzen

[princeofuchiha]

Daily affirmations except it's just me standing in front of a mirror before I write a new chapter going "It's allowed to be a little stupid, cringy, and give me second-hand embarrassment. It's my story, I am the target audience. Self-indulgence is the fuel with which I write. If I want a story about Itachi getting a good father figure who won't use him, a warm meal, and friends who love him I can. I will give this boy a childhood if it speeds up my arthritis fucking tenfold. Itachi is going to get to be the twelve-year-old he is and Sasuke is getting to keep his fucking big brother in at least one universe."

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[mira--mira]

Ok so, questions for OoT: Do Hashi + Madara cheer when Rock Lee kicks Sasuke's ass? If that still happens. Do they save Lee from getting his leg + arm crushed by Gaara's sand? Do Kabuto + Hashirama ever fight one another? If so, does Hashi kick Kabuto's ass? What does Hashi think of Kabuto's regeneration ability? Do Tsuande + Hashirama ever team up + kick ass? Please, I need this so bad. Also maybe Hashi hugging Tsunade when she has her freak out over seeing blood? Please? Does Madara face off with Itachi after Hiruzen dies (if Hiruzen still does die)? Do Hashi + Madara manage to save Sasuke from getting beaten by Itachi when Itachi + Sasuke see one another again in canon, when Naruto is doing his training with Jiraiya? (Also please tell me Madara at least stabs Jiraiya for stealing all of Naruto's saving when Jiraiya had plenty of money himself, AND was supposed to financially support Naruto as Naruto's godfather. If Madara doesn't just outright steal/demand Jiraiya give Naruto his money back or pay him back. That bothered me so much in canon.) I haven't been able to keep up with out of fic stuff in a while because of irl stuff, so I'm sorry if you've already answered these. Just link me, please, if you have?

Hey no worries! OoT is a monster that takes most of my energy to manage, lol, I don't expect everyone to be able to keep up with everything so please don't feel bad or like you're bothering me by asking! I haven't answered most of these questions, I'll answer a few below the cut but not quite all because 1. got to keep a few secrets :P and 2. I don't have specific answers to all of them yet either lol!

Do Hashi + Madara cheer when Rock Lee kicks Sasuke's ass?

Doesn't quite progress to that point! All of Team 7 and Gai's team go out for Sasuke and Lee's fight (here with a slightly different set up and explanation for why Gai's team was outside of the room bc that scene still irritates me in canon lol) but Team 13 gets lost (read: Hashirama and Madara not used to big buildings like the school and Sai laughing as they stumble around) and wanders in right before the fight happens and interrupts it. Even if they had been watching and not interfering they wouldn't be cheering outright I'd say. Hashirama has nothing against Sasuke and neither really does Madara. He doesn't has a grudge from the clan head duel, but Sasuke is a walking trigger for his own trauma that he subconsciously avoids.

Do they save Lee from getting his leg + arm crushed by Gaara's sand?

😶 The Tenten v Gaara fight happens and she's pissed at him so...

Do Kabuto + Hashirama ever fight one another? If so, does Hashi kick Kabuto's ass?

Not in the chunin arc (maybe in search for Tsunade, but probably not? Honestly idk at this point). Kabuto has a very good sense of self-preservation and he pegged them almost immediately as weird kids that he does not want to get involved with.

What does Hashi think of Kabuto's regeneration ability?

Honestly idk. I'm still trying to figure out how to classify it in a way. It's not from the mokuton, that really wouldn't make sense with my lore, but I'm not sure what else it stems from. I'm open to ideas and reactions to this, if anyone wants to suggest something! Otherwise I might make it where Kabuto doesn't have a regeneration ability, but he's such a competent medic, it's like he mimics the ability.

Do Tsuande + Hashirama ever team up + kick ass? Please, I need this so bad. Also maybe Hashi hugging Tsunade when she has her freak out over seeing blood? Please?

Yes, eventually. Their meetings are...rough at first. Hashirama and Madara know how Madara dies at this point and Hashirama has a grudge the size of the five elemental countries against his edo self (which will also be revealed if it's him or a parallel version by this point 😉) and he connects Tsunade to that at first and it puts an initial strain on their relationship. Add in Hashirama is very different from the "god of shinobi" Tsunade grew up with, 5 imo is too young to recognize the flaws and humanity in parents/grandparents so she doesn't have that perspective, and it leads to a clash. Not to mention the giant elephant in the room, Madara, and well...it's just a tough family reunion. I will say though the longer the fic goes on the bigger the "ripples" and canon divergences will be. There's a big moment at the end of the chunin arc that impacts...pretty much everything else in drastic ways. Just be prepared for a pretty sharp diverge!

Does Madara face off with Itachi after Hiruzen dies (if Hiruzen still does die)?

Hiruzen does die but I'm going to be mum about the rest of this 😉 Note I do have plans though 👀

Do Hashi + Madara manage to save Sasuke from getting beaten by Itachi when Itachi + Sasuke see one another again in canon, when Naruto is doing his training with Jiraiya?

Another one that's a mix of I have ideas but not solid enough to commit yet lol. Also the big spoiler at the end of chunin will affect this as you'll see!

Also please tell me Madara at least stabs Jiraiya for stealing all of Naruto's saving when Jiraiya had plenty of money himself, AND was supposed to financially support Naruto as Naruto's godfather. If Madara doesn't just outright steal/demand Jiraiya give Naruto his money back or pay him back. That bothered me so much in canon.

Oh fam, let me just say Madara and Jiraiya do not get along and the hate is mutual. Madara is 12 and he's going to fight that old man for custody of another 12 y/o and win. The money issue will definitely be brought up and dealt with. He, and all of Team 13 really, has zero tolerance for Jiraiya. I try to avoid the cliche "bashing" fic style, but I'm not going to shy away from Jiraiya's shitty canonical behavior and the "heart of gold pervert" is a character archetype that I loathe with the passion of a thousand suns. He's not getting excused for that either. Tsunade and Jiraiya have a complicated relationship with two people (three with Orochimaru) have experienced war and some of the absolute worst that humanity has had to offer and only each other to depend on...but then that trusted friend betrayed you and your boundaries and treating you like an object not a person and suddenly your entire relationship can never be the same (ie the peeping in the bath and almost killing him scene isn't going to be treated like a cute little jokey-joke~ Top 10 things I hated in canon, I can write an entire long post about this alone lol.)

[avversiera-writes]

imagine this - senju tobirama/you, part 1 of 2

Summary: In which Tobirama ponders about what his life has amounted to, if what he has done and all of his accomplishments were enough. 

Or

What happens if he makes it from his last fight, and comes home to the news of his unborn child. Life, as it is, ensues.

A/N: Pls cry, I did my best in this one-shot HAHAHAHHAHA.....

available on AO3.

//

Imagine this.  

Tobirama closes his eyes and he searches for your chakra signature. It flares strongly, even more than usual, and despite being close to his death, he takes comfort that you are alive and well. His words of telling you not to mourn him can only do so much, he knows this well. He did not realize that he would be taken from your side this early on in life. 

He does not feel pain anymore. 

As someone who has lived through many wars and deaths, he wonders if all the work he has done, all the fights he has won, he wonders what they equate to. Is he just a blip in time? Will he be remembered for his transgressions, or the accomplishments that he made and paid for by blood and many sleepless nights? Will he be known for his militaristic rule and policies, or be overshadowed by his brother’s abilities and be named something less? 

 At the time of his dying, he finds that he could care less. He only worries for you and what his death will mean to you. The village will be okay. He has trained his successor well, has raised him to be a fine shinobi, and under his care, the village will thrive. He hopes. He knows that Hiruzen is too young, but he is the only capable shinobi who can protect his village and lay down his life for it, no questions asked.

His eyes go to the sky, and for the life of him, he has never seen the sky like this. It is not supposed to be beautiful, not when he’s dying, but now that everything is finally coming into a stop, he finds that it is okay for him to finally admire the beauty of nature. That it is okay to feel at peace, and accept all the love that you have given him, because he knows all too well how much you have given him. 

 He never had time–he felt as if time was always working against him, and no matter how fast he is, time is a god that he can never contend with. He is and will always be a human being that will die in the end. 

 He is Senju Tobirama, Second Hokage. Master delegator, inventor, advisor, a brilliant tactician, teacher. 

 But to you, he is Senju Tobirama. Your husband, your companion for life. 

His vision clouds with blurred faces, but for a moment, he is allowed a moment of clarity. 

 Hiruzen, the new appointed Hokage, comes into view. He did not expect for any of them to come back for him. 

Tobirama feels a hand grasp his, and he turns to his student. “Tell her...that I am both thankful...and sorry.” 

His vision blanks, but he hears his student heeding his request. As for his last breath, he spends it feeling your chakra, despite being miles away. 

  Imagine this . He tells you, even if you will never know. 

//

It could be worse, you think. 

 When they brought Tobirama in, he was worse for wear. The good thing was, he is still conscious. He is not belligerent, and he lets his students carry him to the hospital to start the healing process. 

 Nervously, you follow them and you try to hold in the queasiness that is rocking your stomach. Subconsciously, you bring a hand to your stomach, as if it will help calm it. 

 You wait around, eating whatever Tobirama’s students bring you to eat and fighting hard to not throw it back up. 

 You must be sick, you reckon, but you know that this is not true. You have noticed how you tire easily these days, and how moody you are even though some situations do not require intense emotions. You also notice how you get sick around certain smells, and you are sensitive to the slightest change in temperature. You feel bloated, even though you cannot keep down any foods that you used to eat. 

 You are afraid to say it, because you do not want to hope for more, especially with what happened in the past with your miscarriage. 

But days of waiting for Tobirama to heal, of going through many tiring routines, the tiny life inside you continues to grow strong, and you are sure that it will be okay. 

//

After almost a month of recuperating, Tobirama is chained to his bed–figuratively, of course. He does not seem eager to get back on his feet, which is a first. He always disregards his own health and feels the need to jump at any chance to work, but for now, he stays still under your vigilance. You are finally alone with him, and you take his hand into yours. 

 Tobirama looks at you, in the same way that he always does. Even when he’s angry, or scowling at something that displeases him, all of that goes away when he finally finds your face. 

 “You do not look well,” Tobirama hoarsely grunts out. 

You let out a small chuckle. “Speak for yourself.” 

 Tobirama squeezes your hand strongly. “I told you not to worry.”

 You roll your eyes, finding it in you to be a little bit more playful. “No, you said, do not mourn me .” You try your best to impersonate him. 

Tobirama scowls and gives you a pointed look, but his touch on your hand remains tender. 

“Tobi,” you whisper, unsure how to begin. 

 Tobirama stares at you, waiting patiently for you to gather your thoughts. 

 “I’m with child,” you tell him, cutting to the chase. 

You look to your husband’s face and you see a light of wonder spread across his eyes, and then the faint softening of the rest of his face. 

“Oh,” he says, rendered speechless. It is probably one of the least things he expects right now.

You smile faintly and you bring your entwined hands to your lips. “You will be a father.” 

 Tobirama lets out a faint rush of air that sounds akin to a laugh. “And you, a mother.” 

//

When Tobirama got discharged from the hospital, it is surprising that he does not immediately throw himself to work. He insists that you consult with a doctor to make sure that everything is progressing well with your pregnancy, and by insist, you mean, command . You follow at his behest, and you wonder if the rest of your pregnancy will be full of Tobirama worrying more than enough for the two of you. 

 Well, he does have a reason to. 

He waits as patiently as he could, making the doctor examining you work nervously. 

 However, you know there is no budging him. 

“Alright, my lady,” the doctor says. “Your due date will be on August 13.” 

  The doctor gives you more provisions, and you have no doubt that Tobirama has already memorized them. He is always better than you with these types of things, as long as they require a routine and order. 

 As you walk home, Tobirama keeps close to you, not showing how fatigued he is and instead, trying to show you that he can fight anyone who dares harm you. 

“Tobirama, calm down,” you tell him right when you step into the four walls of your home. 

 You know that he is checking and rechecking the chakras surrounding you, in case anyone tries to do something. 

 “You, sit down,” Tobirama commands. “I will ask the servants to make you something, and you will sleep right after.”

 “Right after?” You retort, because you really cannot help it. “At least let my food digest for an hour or two.”

 Tobirama thinks about this, and then concedes. “Fine, but you will not tire yourself and move around. You will stay in bed.” 

You roll your eyes, but there is a smile on your face. “Right, okay.” 

 Tobirama meets your gaze, making sure to reaffirm his words, and then he makes way to find the servants. 

“Dammit, Tobirama,” you say to yourself, out of affection and amusement. 

//

Tobirama will not even let you walk around the streets of Konoha, not unless he is near you, because one, you might fall, or two, somebody tries to attack you–all his reasonable reasons, of course. So, no walking and shopping anymore. You also cease your work to help your husband, and instead, you are cooped at home, poring over books and poems and other dry manuscripts you happen to get your hands on. If it is not available at home, Tobirama brings it to you. 

 As your womb grows, your moods swing like a pendulum. One moment, you are giving Tobirama the silent treatment because he didn’t even massage you, the next you feel like you’re about to cry because has not even glanced at you or offered to carry you from the bathroom to the bed. 

 You honestly do not understand it, because you have always been the less moody one. You feel ashamed that you are acting up, but Tobirama does not complain and takes every brunt of your unpredictable pregnancy with a steady grace and stride that you have always known he is capable of. 

Tobirama is a problem-solver, so he always takes action and he starts to make concessions for you. He also scolds you more than usual, mostly due to his fear that some ridiculous situation is about to happen to you. He also comes home earlier than his earlier usual to care for you, and this side of him, you wish you can get more of. 

 He always manages to surprise you. Much to your chagrin, it is probably because he does not reveal all of his cards right away. It’s like a mission, where one has to meet all kinds of tasks in order to get the reward and receive a bigger mission that is a level up from the previous one. 

 It is quite funny, that Tobirama never loses this side of him, even towards his domestic life. 

//

You feel your baby kicking one night, when you are reading and humming to yourself. The sensation startles you and you shout Tobirama’s name in panic. 

 Your husband is at your side in no time, hounding on you with concern. He studies you carefully, his eyes on full alert. 

 “What is it?” He puts his hands on your womb and he looks so alarmed, that it is almost endearing to you.

 “I...there was…” You look down and when your baby kicks again, you realize that there is nothing wrong. 

 Tobirama notices the kicking as well, and he immediately froze. 

You try not to cry as you put your hands on top of your husband’s. “Can you say something? I was just humming and your baby kicked me.” 

Tobirama looks quite horrified. 

 “What?” You urge him. “It’s okay, the baby’s fine. The doctor said that it’s bound to happen, I was just surprised.”

Tobirama lowers himself and he stares at your womb focusedly. “Really?” 

 “Yes, we’re okay. So talk to your child now, let them know you’re here.”

Tobirama keeps staring, and you see his gears turning. “I do not know what to say.” 

 “Try.” 

 Tobirama caresses your womb with his thumbs. “This is your father…” 

You laugh, and Tobirama glares at you, but there is no malice. 

“Don’t bother your mother too much,” Tobirama continues, but sternly. You detect a hint of shaking in his voice. 

 You raise your eyebrows. “Firstborn child and that’s what you say to them?” 

 “What am I supposed to say?” Tobirama snaps, agitated. 

 “Calm down!” You chuckle. “One might have thought you’re the pregnant one here.”

 Tobirama clenches his jaw, and you know he is embarrassed. 

“Firstborn?” He repeats, dumbfounded. 

 You shrug. “Well, you know, trial number one right here on the way. If it goes well, maybe you’d want another one so it doesn’t get lonely.”

Tobirama frowns. “My children are not experiments.” And he glances down at your womb again. “And don’t call them ‘it.’” 

 You chuckle, and you squeeze his hands. “Fine, fine. You’re so meticulous.” 

Tobirama smiles softly, and then he stands up. He gives you a forehead kiss, and then sternly ushers you to go to sleep. 

 You do not even complain about it. 

//

Read Part 2 here.

buy me a coffee !

[rinneganwritings]

Never Far Away; Chapter Ten: Let You Go

Word Count: 3,095

Summary: Team Yumiko catches up with Tsunade, but things don't go as expected. The source of the tension between Yumiko and Kakashi is hinted at to a very curious Akina.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

It doesn’t take long after making camp for Ezume and Akina to call it a night. Yumiko volunteered to take the first watch, expecting she would have at least a few hours of solitude before switching out with someone else. Two hours into her shift, she’s working on mending a hole in one of Akina’s skirt and Kakashi is still sitting against the same tree reading Icha Icha

��So why did I volunteer to take the first shift if you’re gonna stay up anyway?” she asks finally.

Kakashi doesn’t look up, “Hm, I’m not sure.”

“You could’ve said something, y’know.”

“It seems you had something to do anyway,” he lazily waves towards the sewing in her lap.

“I could’ve done that on my turn.”

There’s a moment of silence before Kakashi speaks up again, “Do you enjoy arguing with me?”

“What? Why would you ask-”

“I was thinking about it earlier,” he closes his book and turns to face her. “I realized every time we’ve spoken to each other for as long as I can remember, we were arguing. Well, you were arguing.”

“That’s not true,” she rolls her eyes. “We’ve had normal conversations.”

“When?”

“That’s not fair,” she groans. “Everyone forgets when asked for specifics.”

Ezume sits up in his sleeping bag with rage painted on his face, “Okay, can you guys just kiss or something so I can go back to sleep?”

“Yes, Yumiko. Our comrades need their rest,” Kakashi slumps against the tree, opening Icha Icha again.

Yumiko stands up, “Okay, since you’re going to stay up reading your dirty book I’m going to sleep.”

“This is not a dirty book,” Kakashi gasps. “This is fine crafted romance!”

“What would you know about romance?”

Kakashi doesn’t say anything. She kicks off her shoes and slips off her flak jacket before getting into her sleeping bag. Despite her best efforts, she’s never able to fall asleep.

☾

Everyone was departing from the memorial with heavy hearts. Tamako clung tightly to Yumiko’s hand as they both stared down at the marker for their parents. Something about being at the memorial made the reality of the situation sink in for Yumiko. Her heart wants to hide from the immense sorrow filling it, meanwhile she’s barely coming to terms with the heavy burden placed on her shoulders. So much sadness radiates off everyone in the village. Yumiko fights back the tears, wanting to seem brave in front of her peers.

Mikoto walks up to the sisters with baby Sasuke bundled up in her arms. Itachi follows close behind her.

“Why don’t we take Tamako back to our house for a while?” she offers. “You can come by when you’re ready.”

“Would you like that, Tamako?” Yumiko asks her.

Tamako looks up at her with wide eyes filled with tears, “Will you be okay, big sister?”

“Of course,” Yumiko kneels down beside her, “You should go play, okay? I’ll come get you soon.”

Tamako nods slowly before turning around to walk over to Itachi. Their hands intertwine as soon as they’re close to each other.

“Thank you,” Yumiko says to Mikoto. The woman nods with a sad smile before taking the children away.

Once she’s alone, Yumiko let’s her tears fall freely. So many emotions bubble to the surface she can’t quite seem to get a handle on any of them. One moment her tears are sad, then before she knows it her fists are balled up in anger. Just when she thinks she might explode from the growing rage, she realizes how absolutely terrified she really is.

She wants to scream into the empty sky above her. Then she looks up from her parent’s grave to see Kakashi standing in front of the memorial built in honor of Minato and Kushina. She doesn’t know what it is about seeing the silver haired ninja there, but she feels a little wave of calm wash over her.

She walks over to stand beside him, Kakashi looks at her for a moment before turning back to the memorial.

“I’m sorry you lost your sensei,” she says quietly. “I know how much Minato meant to you.”

Kakashi is quiet for a moment as he considers her words. When he speaks again, she’s surprised by the bitterness in his voice.

“I should’ve been there. We should have been there.”

She remembers how they’d both been trying desperately to join the fight when the Nine Tails attacked, only to be held back. The two of them along with the others their age helped to take the villagers to safety while the older shinobi fought the beast.

“It wouldn’t have made a difference,” she says finally. She’s not sure if she’s trying to convince him or herself.

She looks down to see Kakashi’s hands balled up in a fist as he speaks, “We’ll never know.”

Despite the pain filling her, she wishes more than anything to be able to take his away. She stares at him for a moment.

“Kakashi,” she starts to reach out for him, but stops herself.

How could she save him when she’s drowning too?

☽

Even though the sun is just beginning to rise, it seemed the night was just coming to an end for most of the people out and about.

“This seems exactly like the type of place Tsunade would choose,” Yumiko says as she watches the drunk and rowdy people walking around them. For a moment she feels nostalgic for her childhood, when her mother would go off on trips with Tsunade then come back with stories of glittering lights and exciting people. She pushes the nostalgia away, determined to keep focused.

“Should we get a room at an inn for tonight?” Akina asks, doing a terrible job at masking the hopefulness in her voice. She specifies for the night, but Yumiko knows she’s really hoping to get a few more hours of sleep this morning.

“Hm, maybe,” Yumiko answers. She stops at a food cart to buy a pork dumpling before continuing along behind her team. Her eyes scan the faces of people they pass, trying to find something familiar.

Kakashi turns to make sure Yumiko is still following. She flashes him a quick smile before he turns around. They go into the biggest inn with a casino attached. As soon as they walk in, Yumiko knows they won’t be able to afford to stay here. Tsunade and Tamako on the other hand might have been able to.

The innkeeper eyes the team suspiciously, “You gotta have money to stay here.”

“Don’t worry, we won’t be staying,” Yumiko says to him before making her way towards the casino. Kakashi follows her, but Ezume and Akina linger behind.

She spots Shizune with Tonton sitting at a table with a drink at the same time Shizune spots her. Shizune tries to stand up to leave, but it’s too late. Kakashi has already crossed over to the other side of the small bar area. With a pout she sits back down.

“Come to rough me up again,” Shizune says when Yumiko sits down beside her.

“I didn’t rough you up the first time,” Yumiko leans forward. “But I did make myself clear.”

“Listen, I think you’ve misunderstood Lady Tsunade’s intentions. She’s just trying to help Tamako.”

“She can’t help her,”

“I think I can,” Tsunade’s voice draws everyone’s attention. She stands there with her arms crossed, her bottom lip curled in annoyance. Kakashi stands aside so Tsunade can pull up a chair at the table. He stands behind Yumiko, she notices him placing a hand on each side of her chair. Tsunade notices too, but doesn’t acknowledge it despite the curious look.

“Tamako is going to be labelled as a rogue ninja if we don’t get her home,” Yumiko says. “The whole village thinks she’s gone to join the Akatsuki.”

“I’ve taken care of that,” Tsunade smirks. “I’m going to train her to be a medical ninja. And I’ve taken the liberty of alerting the Hokage. You should be hearing from him shortly.”

Yumiko’s ears pound as she takes in what she’s heard.

“That’s all well and good,” Kakashi’s voice rings through her head. “But until we hear from the Hokage, we’re still on a mission. We should see Tamako.”

“Tamako doesn’t want to see you,” Shizune says.

“She needs time, Yumiko,” Tsunade says. “There’s just so much going on in that girl’s mind right now. We shouldn’t push her.”

Yumiko’s palms grow sweaty as the air in the room begins feeling thinner. Her heart is pounding in her chest. Kakashi steps back when he realizes she’s trying to get up. She’s on her feet in a second, and heading towards the door.

Despite being out on the quiet street she, her head is buzzing. All this way they’ve come to find Tamako, and yet Tsunade had the audacity to send them away without even seeing her. All the years she spent trying to be a good sister, sensei, and guardian culminate to this.

“I told Tsunade we’ll be staying in the village until we get word from the Hokage,” Kakashi’s voice joins the buzzing. “She’s agreed to stay put until then as well.”

“Thank you, Kakashi,” Yumiko manages to say despite the lump in her throat.

“This is ridiculous,” Ezume groans. “We’ve come all this way!”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Akina suggests.

Although she’s trying to stay hopeful that Tamako might come home, she knows deep down it’s not happening. If Tsunade sent word to Hiruzen, he wouldn’t deny her. Especially since she’s training Tamako now.

“Maybe you both should go get some food,” Kakashi says to Ezume and Akina.

They both look at Yumiko, awaiting official permission. She’s too lost in thought to notice, so Kakashi shoos them away. She sits down on the steps entering the inn, watching as Akina and Ezume leave. Kakashi sits down beside her.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Yumiko finds herself asking him. Her voice is so small and weak she doesn’t recognize it as her own.

He’s surprised when he realizes the question is directed at him. Carefully he raises his hand to her shoulder, when he doesn’t receive a static shock he lets his hand rest. For a moment she tenses, but then looks up at him with the question still burning in her eyes.

“Whatever you want to do,” he says finally. “I’m with you every step of the way.”

Yumiko doesn’t know what to make of his words except for the immense amount of comfort she feels.

She smiles weakly, “Thank you.”

It was Kakashi’s turn to tense up when she leaned against him. His hand drags along her back as she moves, now resting on the opposite shoulder with his arm around her back. Her head rests on his shoulder as she tries to keep herself calm. It’s quiet and still for a moment. She feels her brain slow down a bit. Kakashi relaxes as well, finding himself soothing his thumb along her shoulder blade.

“Y’know, I’m kind of glad the Hokage sent you,” she confesses quietly.

“Hm, why’s that?”

“I don’t think Guy would be particularly comforting in this situation,” she laughs.

Kakashi tilts his head so he can look at her, “Am I?”

She laughs, “Surprisingly.”

They sit in silence for a long time. As Yumiko spots Akina and Ezume bouncing towards them, she feels Kakashi’s arm drop from around her. She scoots over a bit, creating a space between them. Ezume didn’t seem to notice, but Akina’s eyes lit up with curiosity.

“Look,” Ezume holds up an armful of snacks. “I got everyone some snacks!”

Akina tilts her head to the side as she continues studying her sensei. Ezume hands out bags of chips and pastries.

“Yumiko-sensei, would you go shopping with me?” Akina asks while Yumiko shoves some chips in her mouth. All Yumiko can do is nod as she crunches on them.

“It might be a nice distraction,” Yumiko says after swallowing the chips down.

“I’m gonna stay here in case Tamako comes out,” Ezume declares while sitting down on the opposite side of Kakashi. Yumiko and Kakashi have to stand up to let people up the stairs.

“Maybe that’s not a good idea,” Kakashi says to him. “We’ve already spoken with Tsunade. We’re just waiting for word from the Hokage.”

Ezume crosses his arms, “I’m not leaving without seeing her.”

“You could make things worse,” Yumiko tries to reason with him.

“How can you give up so easily?”

Yumiko sighs, “I’m not giving up, Ezume. But if this is what she wants, and it’s approved by the Hokage there’s nothing to be done.”

Akina steps forward and reaches out to tug on Ezume’s sleeve, “Come with us. It’ll be fun.”

“I’m not going shopping,” Ezume snaps at her. “I’m staying here.”

Kakashi sighs, “I’ll stick around.”

Akina tugs on Ezume’s sleeve again, “Come on, Ezume. It’ll be fun if you’ll just come along.”

He yanks his arm away from her, “I’ve already told you I’m not coming.”

“Come on, Akina,” Yumiko places her hand on Akina’s shoulder. “Let’s just go.”

Akina wanders with Yumiko into shop after shop, not exactly satisfied with anything. Most of them are filled with floral dresses and kimonos. Akina tries on some, but her excitement for shopping seems to have faded after her argument with Ezume. Even when Yumiko offers to let Akina pick some things out for her, Akina just shrugs.

Finally, with her stomach growling, Yumiko takes her by the wrist to drag her to the nearest cafe for lunch. Once they’re at a table, Yumiko reaches out to touch her hand. Akina looks down with a sigh.

“What’s going on?” Yumiko asks quietly. “Let’s talk about it.”

Akina sighs, “I don’t understand why Ezume loves Tamako so much. She’s never paid him any attention at all.”

Yumiko feels her posture stiffen. Dealing with romantic feelings has never exactly been her strong suit. She doesn’t have much to go on. She developed her first crush at 6, and spent the next six years of her life trying to fight him…

“Ezume is a very loyal person. His feelings wouldn’t be swayed easily,” Yumiko offers.

Akina looks up at Yumiko finally, tears welling up in her eyes. Her hands fidget with the napkin in front of her.

“But I’ve been here the whole time, and he’s never even noticed me. Y’know, like a girl. I try so hard just to be noticed.”

Yumiko thanks the waitress who sets their food down. She’s grateful for the momentary distraction to try to decide how to proceed with the conversation. However, once they’re alone again she’s panicked to discover she still doesn’t know the answer. Akina is waiting patiently, hoping for some words of wisdom from her sensei.

“Maybe your time is coming?” Yumiko suggests. “Sometimes people need time to come to terms with the pain they feel before they can open up.”

Akina sighs, “I don’t mean to sound like I didn’t want Tamako to come back, because I did. But now that she’s with Lady Tsunade, maybe I have a chance?”

Yumiko smiles, “Maybe so.”

“Oh, are we having a little girl talk? Perhaps I could join.” Tsunade’s voice interrupts them. She takes a seat beside Akina across from Yumiko.

“What can I do for you?” Yumiko asks harshly.

“Calm down there, Sparky. I just want to talk,” Tsunade rolls her eyes. “As two people that care about Tamako we should understand each other.”

“I just want to know where all this caring for her was when I was a teenager struggling to raise her.”

Tsunade looks down at her folded hands, “You’re right. I should’ve been there for you both.”

Yumiko is taken aback by the confession. She tries to conjure up more anger, but there is none. She can see Tsunade’s genuine regret written in her eyes.

“I am sorry, Yumiko. I wasn’t there after your parent’s died, but I can help now. Think of it this way, the longer she’s with me the less likely she is to go running to trouble. If you forced her back to the village, she’d always be looking for another way out.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Yumiko sighs. She’s a little bitter about having to admit it after all the issues Tsunade has been the center of on this mission.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Yumiko. It’s just that you were always so strong. You seemed to be able to handle anything.”

Yumiko looks down, but looks up again when she hears Tsunade laugh.

“Akina, you should’ve seen her. She was such a small kid, but she was always trying to fight with other kids. Especially Kakashi.”

Akina’s eyes light up, “Oh, this I have to hear.”

Yumiko shakes her head, “We shouldn’t-”

“He never took her up on it,” Tsunade smirks.

“He did once,” Yumiko shudders.

“What happened?” Akina asks.

Tsunade is equally curious, “Yeah, what did happen? I never knew of this.”

“It happened after you left,” Yumiko looks down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” Tsunade shrugs. “Fair enough. We all have our regrets.”

“Well, they sure don’t fight anymore,” Akina wiggles her eyebrows.

“Hmm, I imagine not,” Tsunade smirks.

“Speaking of, we should probably get back to Kakashi and Ezume,” Yumiko sighs.

She leaves money on the table for their lunch and stands up. Akina groans as she stands up. Tsunade still has her smirk on her face as she watches the two girls leave.

“Why don’t you like talking about the fight? You usually tell me everything,” Akina raises an eyebrow as they walk.

“It just wasn’t a very good thing…”

Yumiko tries to push it out of her mind. The terrible things people say to one another out of anger can be paralyzing. Akina can see the seriousness of the topic, so decides to drop it.

When they get back to the inn, Kakashi and Ezume are no longer sitting on the steps. Yumiko groans as she turns on her heels to scan the surrounding area. Finally, she spots the silver haired shinobi across the street. He sits on a bench reading while Ezume is sitting next to him eating.

As soon as they approach, Kakashi holds out a scroll for Yumiko. She knows without looking what it is, but nonetheless she unrolls it to read the words anyway. As expected it was an order to return to the village, signed by the Hokage.

“So,” Yumiko sighs. “Looks like we should head home.”

[dokuhebi]

♨

Manhandling symbol starters ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them // @peepingtoad

They had tried to hide it from Jiraiya since they had first captured him in the forest. Not wanting to show the greatest flaw to their eternal scheme of changing hosts. That every three years, they were not so much able to change bodies so much as forced to. Courtesy of Hiruzen, the first sign of their collapsing vessel was the deterioration of their arms. When the seals placed below their shoulders no longer held in place their souls breakage, and the process of agonizing decay would start. Losing function bit by bit, a troublesome affair for someone who needed their arms for rather meticulous work in the laboratories. Such tasks would have to be put on hold, or handed over to Kabuto, who was far more able than the serpent. A desperate grasp for immortality costing them basic function this early in life. It is not because they don’t trust Jirayia being around them when they are vulnerable like this, it is because they don’t want to lose his good impression of their intelligence. Surely they had lost credibility where character and ethics were concerned by now. How could they possibly concede to showing the cleverest member of the Sannin had somehow been beaten by their own game? That the brilliant idea they had of stealing the youth from other people had ended them up being rejected by those vessels. Incomplete. Unsuccessful. Far from perfect and far from wise. Of course, hiding it from the man only works so well, and for so long. He is sharp, and he knows them too well. They refrain from certain activities because their hands begin to lose mobility. Because the strength in their hold dwindles and erases itself, because their usual catlike reflexes are suddenly dulled down. Eventually, it must be confessed. They offer him a brief understanding, not wanting to dwell on the topic, not even wanting to approach it at all. They don’t give him much room for questioning them, they speak only about what is necessary to know. Certainly not about how bad it will eventually get. Certainly not about the need for another urgent sacrifice, or the consequence of failing to find and overtake one. All things considered however, they assume that he will work that out for himself regardless of their lacking transparency.  Their arms must once more be wrapped from the shoulders down to the tip of each finger in bandages. Not quite rotting yet, but cold and growing thinner, on the way to deterioration, brittle, already aching painfully in the cold and feeling as if rigor mortis may as well be kicking in. The serpent is struggling to undo those necessary bandages, the simple task of a bath now a grueling effort for them. But stubborn as they are, they try it by themself. Because they can in all their spite for their circumstances, use the aid of their summons in place of their arms, or push come to shove, a rather strong and unusual tongue. Too proud to ask for help, but thankfully, they wouldn’t have to. They hear him entering their bathroom, and they are swift to feign as if they hadn’t been trying to turn the tap on. Jiraiya doesn’t seem to buy it, or so they assume based on him turning the water on for them. An effortless task for him, where the serpent had been attempting the same thing for the last fifteen minutes. Humbling would be the wrong word. They are simply infuriated. There is a brief moment of wanting to be stubborn, until their golden gaze meets his midnight pair, and with a defeatedly resigned expression, and averted eyes looking down to the rising water, they use what little mobility they have left to lift their arm for him to take and unbandage. Some of it already unraveled by their efforts of using their teeth. Again, far messier than what Jiraiya can do for them. “It’s worth it.” Their words are voiced almost defiantly, almost desperately trying to banish the thought that they may be regretting their own choices in life. But surely that hardly convinces anyone, least of all Jiraiya. The serpent so often could damn themself and pretend it was how they preferred it, if only to save face. If only to find a quiet isolated corner to lick their own wounds in the privacy of their own judgment and self admittance to idiocy.

“It’s a small price to pay for what I want, for what I will be able to one day achieve,” they say, unable to offer more than that. For they had been warned against self experimentation. Against playing god. The are helped out of their kimono, out of the bandages wound around the top of their chest, their hair tied up in a high bun and finally aided in to the warm water. Only to find him bathing them next as well, a wet cloth being worked over their slender body. Over immaculate porcelain skin, every curve of their chest and the dip of their waist and back, every contour of slightly pronounced bone on their spine, collar and shoulders, until finally, over less radiant looking pale skin - their arms already sporting bruises, despite having not been bumped or knocked. And when his gaze is forced to look there, they evidently feel some sense of shame, as they so quickly try to distract him. Not sure what thoughts may be running through his mind, but evidently too afraid to let them fully form. They lean up to kiss him, a brief and hesitant kiss, before deepening it. Nipping at the bottom of his lip, their tongue seeking entrance in to his mouth, a little demanding, a little pleading. Breaking it only to look in to his eyes, to try and see what may be hidden there. “I hope you never look at me like everyone else does... like you’re trying to make sense of me.”

[hiruzensux]

alright you guys(or guy?) asked for it

(under a cut bc longish)

(choices are Danzō, Hiruzen, Kagami, Torifu, Homura, Koharu)

DANZŌ

his answers are actually the same in this version as in the one i previously answered:

Fuck: Kagami (he wanted to answer Homura but he’s super intimidated by him and was too embarrassed; though it physically pains him as well to choose Kagami, given that he’s always hitting on him, he seemed like the marginally less embarrassing answer (and not untrue, either))

Marry: Torifu

Kill: Hiruzen

HIRUZEN

his answers are a little bit different with the all of them to choose from than in the one i previously answered:

Fuck: he agonizes over the decision but if he has to pick just one, he decides to go with Koharu, since she seems the least attainable under normal circumstances. (not that Homura isn’t also, but Hiruzen suspects he might, somewhere deep down under his icy exterior, have the slightest soft spot for him... maybe. really really deep. he likes to joke, anyway)

Marry: Danzō. he’d actually do it, but more importantly it annoys/embarrasses Danzō

Kill: impassioned fool voice "i would rather kill myself than any one of you!!!" ...but if he has to pick one he says Kagami)

and now for the others:

KAGAMI

Fuck: Homura (similar to Hiruzen’s “least attainable” line of reasoning — he already knows he can get Hiruzen whenever, and he thinks he could get Danzō too if he really tried)

Marry: Torifu, of course

Kill: Koharu — bc she’s his main competition for Head Bitch

KOHARU

Fuck: Kagami (“ugh”) — normally she wouldn’t say she’d fuck him, but she has sort of  got a thing for hot, arrogant asshole men and technically speaking he fits the bill 

Marry: Homura, obviously

Kill: Hiruzen. he and Kagami are about equally annoying but Hiruzen’s her teammate, so she has to put up with him even more of the time

HOMURA

(he’d be particularly difficult to get an answer out of bc he’s avoidant af, BUT assuming they somehow manage to get him to answer...)

Fuck: Danzō (this is the spiciest admission of this whole game tbh; everyone’s eyebrows are up, Hiruzen’s hollering, Danzō’s SUPER flustered and internally kicking his own ass for not answering honestly before but fortunately he’s transparent af and everyone can tell it’s reciprocated, and there is palpable tension between those two for the rest of however long it takes for Koharu to get these fucking bottoms to actually hook up r.i.p.) 

Marry: Koharu obvi

Kill: Kagami. tied with Hiruzen for obnoxiousness but Homura’s actually slightly more sentimental than Koharu

and finally

TORIFU

as i’ve mentioned before, i hc him as ace and aro, so that affects his answering a bit, but

Fuck: not really into the idea, but if he had to choose someone it would probably be Kagami. it’d be weird, sure, but he’s comfortable around him at least and he figures Kagami’s probably objectively good at it. (Kagami is honored)

Marry: Kagami was actually a contender here too, but since he already picked him for something else, he decided to go with Hiruzen, bc he seems like he’d treat you right. (Hiruzen’s crying)

Kill: Homura. he just seems faintly sketchy 

[silverfootstepswrites]

Northern Lights [9]

title Shards summary Tiptoe softly

Sakura’s feet dangled off the edge of the bed. Even with her eyes closed, she knew exactly where Itachi was and what he was doing. She could smell his aftershave drifting out from the bathroom. The light switch clicked. The fan went silent. 

His fingers skimmed over her back, raising goosebumps along her skin. “You’ll catch a cold,” he warned. 

“I won’t if you stay to keep me warm,” she replied, her eyes opening. And she could see him thinking with his back turned to her. She never asked him to stay. Which is why she knew that when she did, he noticed. 

When Itachi turned to face her, his eyes were so soft. Like warmed whiskey. He sat beside her, his fingers trailing up from her jaw to her cheekbone. Before they pulled through her hair, gently undoing the tangle he found halfway through.

“Any other night, I would. But not tonight, Jing-Mei. This meeting’s important,” he answered. He ran his fingers through her hair again. And from that, she knew who his important meeting was with. Or at least who it was about. 

“The Sarutobi-gumi?” Sakura guessed.

"You’ve been keeping up, right?”

“More or less. The old man?”

“He’s dying. For real this time,” Itachi confirmed, running a hand through his hair. 

“Finally,” Sakura sighed. Her head flopped back down onto the rumpled sheets. “I’m tired of him.” When Itachi gave her a searching look, she added, “But it wasn’t me.”

Itachi huffed. “I wouldn’t have minded if you were.”

He got off the bed to open up her wardrobe. The plastic hangers clinked together as he rummaged through to find a robe. He pulled one out, silky and blue. He liked the color blue on her, she had noticed. 

“His son’s in favor to succeed, right? Asuma?” Sakura asked as Itachi draped the robe over her shoulders. She pulled one arm through it, then the other. 

She distinctly remembered the wakagashira of the Sarutobi-gumi. A man with a goatee and a fondness for foreign women. He wasn’t wholly unpleasant to deal with. He was a little too smart for her to deal with him comfortably, though. 

“Yes. But Hiruzen’s first son had a kid before he was killed. The kid’s eighteen now,” Itachi told her. 

That didn’t surprise her. “Still a kid, though,” she pointed out.

“Not for long. And the kid has a reputation already.”

Sakura didn’t respond as she tied the front of her robe shut. Her eyes followed Itachi as he pulled his shirt on and buttoned it from the top down. 

“So what’s my your role in all of this?” asked Sakura. She saw herself in the mirror. And he looked her reflection in the eyes as he fixed the collar of his shirt. 

“The younger groups don’t understand. The yakuza aren’t outside of society. If anything, we’re the backbone. Things have to run smoothly in our world for civilians to live peacefully,” Itachi explained. Sakura didn’t disagree. It was the same in Hong Kong.

“Some groups will use this as a time to steal territory or to try to destroy the Sarutobi’s altogether. I prefer the enemy I know,” he then said. 

“Which one do you want in charge? Of the Sarutobi-gumi, I mean.”

Itachi’s eyes stayed on hers as he began tying his tie. It was black with a silver check pattern. “The kid,” he decided without hesitation. 

“Huh,” Sakura said. She smoothed her hand over the hem of the robe. So that it laid flat over her thigh.

“What does 'huh’ mean?” Itachi grabbed his cufflinks off the vanity. 

"Nothing. It just means ‘huh’,” answered Sakura. 

“Anyway, that means I’ll have my hands full for the time being,” Itachi declared. He folded the sleeve once. He pushed his cufflink through the slits, rotating the silver clasp into place. When he switched arms, he fumbled with the right side. “I’m meeting with my people to plan tonight. And then we’ll be meeting with other groups over the next few weeks to try to negotiate some....” Itachi trailed off as he tried to find the right words.

“Temporary treaties?” Sakura offered, motioning for him. 

“Yes.” Itachi held out his arm to her so that she could slip the second cufflink into place. And she paused as she recognized them. Gleaming rectangles with a small diamond embedded into the center. She straightened his cuffs. Reached up to straighten his tie, too. 

“Are you saying you won’t have time for me, leng zai? That’s hurtful,” Sakura then told him. 

“You’re flying out to Hong Kong tonight. Don’t act like you’ll be a lonely housewife,” he answered with that easy smile just for her.

“Then maybe I’ll stay. We should just kill everyone so that they won’t interrupt us,” she suggested. Already laughing at the thought.

But she watched Itachi’s eyes sharpen. He glanced out the window as he murmured, “Should we?” His hand rested on top of hers. And when his gaze flickered back to her, she felt a jolt of excitement at what she saw. Something sparkled in his eyes- a little too feral to be him. But undeniably him at the same time. 

“I have to go.” Itachi said it more like he was reminding himself than her. His exhale turned shaky as her finger grasped the front of his belt. Tugging playfully. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed her hands. He kissed her- hard at first. Slowly, his lips becoming gentle. Lingering softly over her mouth, her cheek. 

“When you get back. We’ll have plenty of time,” he said. And there was finality to his voice that she couldn’t argue against. 

“I’m not a very patient person, Kumicho.”

Cupping her cheek in his hand, Itachi kissed her again. “I know,” he sighed.

“Boss is coming back tonight,” Sai remarked. He watched Tenten toss a knife into the air. The blade spun before she caught it. And somehow, she caught it by the handle every time. He had watched her do this for years now. And not once had he seen her grab it by the pointed end. 

“Yeah,” she replied. 

Sai’s eyes narrowed. “Something happen?” he questioned. 

Tenten raised an eyebrow. “Nah.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Sai pursed his lips. But he watched the set of Tenten’s face and decided against pushing it that night. “Okay.” He got out of his seat, brushing out the wrinkles in his jacket before he draped it over his arm. 

“Before I forget- you know that bar of yours? Right by Sheung Wan Station?” he asked. 

Tenten caught the knife. It stayed in her hand this time as she looked at him. “Yeah?”

“Been hearing rumors about the place. Not the good kind. Tell your guys to be more careful,” he warned. He slipped out of the room. Letting the door swing shut behind him with a heavy clang. His footsteps echoing down the concrete stairs. 

Tenten’s eyes fell on the group of muscular men sitting in the corner. They had set up a folding table with cards. Their guns sat in the middle, along with their phones. 

Clicking her tongue, Tenten flicked the knife in their direction. It landed just beside the pile of cards in the middle. All three men jerked upright, heads swiveling in her direction.

“Shouldn’t you be out checking the night market instead of fooling around?” Tenten demanded. 

“Sorry, Boss. Right away,” they muttered as they shoved the cards in a pile and scrambled to grab their things. 

“And you heard what Sai said about Blink. Go and talk to Fung about keeping shit quiet. If he gives you trouble...” Tenten didn’t have to finish her statement.

“Mou man tai. We got it, Boss,” one of the other men said. They hurried out of the room too. Their heavy boots clomping down the steps. 

Once it was quiet, Tenten leaned back in her seat. Her feet up on the table. This was the back room at an indoor market they had acquired about a year ago. Cops didn’t really think to look for suspicious activity in a place like this. As long as the stalls paid rent on time, it was an easy source of income. 

Tenten heaved a sigh when she felt her phone vibrate. It wasn’t a number she had saved. She recognized it anyway. She lifted the phone to her ear.

“Wei?”

“Bad news for you.”

“Fucking great,” Tenten grumbled. Rubbing her palm over her eye, she took a deep breath. “Okay, what?”

“I hear the Dragon Head’s been poking the Russians with a stick.”

“So?” 

“So- that’s making the HKPD nervous. They’re planning on sending in someone to snoop around.”

Tenten outright laughed at that. “Great. We’ll send his head to you. You prefer it in a cooler or a block of ice?”

“I’m serious. And it’s not going to be someone you can get rid of so easily.”

That caught her interest. Tapping her fingers against the table, she raised her eyebrows.

“Who is it?” she finally asked.

“Hashirama’s daughter. Tsunade.”

A chuckle left Tenten. But it was filled with disbelief more than amusement. She shook her head. 

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

It was still winter in Tokyo. But apparently Hong Kong had decided that it was spring already. A wall of humidity greeted her when she stepped off the plane. Zabuza, of course, was there to pick her up. The car sparkled. He had probably taken it to the wash right before arriving.

While Zabuza opened the door, Tenten loaded Sakura’s bags into the trunk. 

Sakura shed her jacket as she settled into the backseat. Zabuza closed her door. He slid into the driver’s seat, adjusting the rearview mirror so that he could see her. 

“Where to, Boss?” he asked. 

As soon as Tenten got in, he pulled away from the curb. 

“The studio by Hong Kong Park. I’m tired,” Sakura ordered, kicking her boots off. 

“Of course,” Zabuza replied. His eyes returned to the road as he pulled onto the highway. 

“Things been okay here?” Sakura then addressed Tenten. 

“Pretty quiet, for the most part. Some of the Red Arrow boys butted heads with the Suns over some nonsense. Suigetsu took care of it,” Tenten recalled. She took a moment to think and added, “Councillor Mok was caught with hookers and had to resign in disgrace last week.” 

“I saw that on the news,” replied Sakura. She shook her head. “We’ll have to bribe someone else to pull for us on the Legislative Council.” 

“Anything else?” Sakura asked.

Tenten considered the question. She looked at her phone in her hand. Recalling the enlightening conversation from earlier that day. Expression unchanging, she shoved her phone back into her pocket. “Mou je, Boss. Nothing else.”

Over the next few days, Sakura was busy meeting with people to resolve the issues that her underlings couldn’t handle on her own. Thankfully, there hadn’t been much trouble in her three week absence. 

Sitting in her office overlooking Victoria Harbor, Sakura couldn’t help but notice that Itachi hadn’t called her even once since she had landed in Hong Kong. It bothered her that she even noticed something like that at all. Just as that thought occurred to her, a phone rang. Not her cell. The one that sat on her big, wooden desk. It was the receptionist downstairs. 

“Who’s asking for me?” Sakura demanded. She laughed when she heard the name he had given. 

“Send him up,” Sakura ordered before hanging up the phone. 

It didn’t take long for the elevator to arrive on the top floor. There was a soft knock. 

“Come in,” Sakura called. 

She pretended to be busy as the door swung open. She picked up one of the documents from the pile, taking a long time to read the fine print that she never normally read. 

“I don’t believe we scheduled an appointment,” said Sakura. She took her time dating and signing the form as she heard the door swing shut. The lock clicking into place. 

“I apologize.” It was a man’s voice. Cantonese. But with an interesting accent. “I just felt awful about the way our first meeting went. I felt the need to come apologize in person.”

Lowering her pen, Sakura finally lifted her chin to look right at him. 

Minato stood in front of her desk, one hand in his pants pocket. His wheat-colored hair slicked back. A gold chain glittering around his neck as he smiled at her.

“You only feel bad about that? Not about the assassins you sent to my hotel room?” she queried, keeping her voice light. 

“Well, that was only fair. You did kill one of my dealers,” Minato reminded her. His eyes crinkling at the corners as he chuckled.

‘‘I’m honestly a little insulted that it was only three. Is that all I’m worth in the eyes of a foreigner?” she wondered. 

“On the contrary. I sent three and not one because of that reputation. I hear that you’re the one that killed Uchiha Madara,” Minato said.

“I’m flattered that you did your research.”

She examined his expression. There were all sorts of rumors swirling around about Namikaze. Out of all the Russian arms dealers working in Hong Kong, he was the wealthiest. He dealt to everyone, irregardless of alliances or grudges. She had, of course, heard of his exploits. Intercepting shipments meant for international armies was a specialty of his. 

“But I’m sure you’re not here just to chat. What can I do for you?” she asked.

Her eyes followed him as he approached her desk. He sat on the edge of it instead of in one of the chairs facing it. Hands still in his pockets, he let his stare rake over her. She had a good idea of what he would say before he opened his mouth. His eyes said it all.

“I just wanted to apologize for my son’s behavior during our first meeting. He’s so hot-headed. Just like his mother was,” Minato stated. 

Sakura’s gaze drilled into him. Scrutinizing every inch of his expression. He had made it a point to use past-tense. 

“I was frankly surprised by his rudeness. Usually when a man so obviously wants to fuck me, he starts off by playing nice,” she said as casually as possible.

Minato’s eyes widened. HIs shock was genuine. After a beat, he threw his head back and laughed. A full-bellied laugh that made his shoulders move up and down. It wasn’t an unpleasant sound. 

Pushing back from her desk, Sakura got out of her seat. She moved toward the window, leaning against it. Gauging the way that Minato’s eyes followed after her. 

“It’s rare that someone is so frank about these things,” he stated.

“What’s the point in being coy? Lots of men have wanted to fuck me. I don’t see the point in avoiding the truth,” she pressed. Watching his face. 

Minato’s smile didn’t fade as he responded, “That’s true. After all. I do, too.”

“And that’s why you’re here,” she said. 

“Yes. Although, if you were to turn me down, I’m also prepared to talk business with you. So either way, we’ll be able to reach some sort of... mutual satisfaction today,” he assured her. That arrogance was a little charming in its own way.

Sakura folded her arms across her chest. “So you think you can just waltz in here and seduce me?”

“Yes.”

She had to admire that sort of confidence. 

“My only concern is that your relationship with a certain yakuza might... complicate things,” Minato pointed out. 

Sakura’s eyes moved from him to her phone siting on her desk. It reminded her, again, of how there had been no word from Itachi. Four days. Not a text. Not a call. 

Minato stood very still as Sakura’s gaze raked over him. And once she had taken in every detail about him, she walked up to him. A sway in her hips. Her red lips smiling as she closed her fingers around his tie.

“It doesn’t,” she replied. Each syllable touching his lower lip. 

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Пожалуйста, прекрати говорить,” Sakura whispered. 

Minato chuckled as his arms wrapped around her waist. It was a deep, rich sound. Like dark chocolate. Heavy, sweet, and bitter all at the same time.

[chemicalmagecraft]

I Would Totally Kick Jiraiya’s Butt Chapter 15

Usagi

"I'm tellin' ya, boss, it was some kinda monster," the now one-armed bandit explained to his leader as another bandit bandaged his bleeding stump. "It did... something to Koji, and he turned into some sorta zombie."

"And did either of those monsters rip off your arm?" the red-haired woman asked impassively. Ah yes, she would do nicely. Her body was compatible enough with my power that I wouldn't have to worry about replacing it for a while and she appeared to be an awful human being, so I wouldn't have any guilt from ending her life. Despite her looks she was definitely not an Uzumaki, so I had no reason to worry about that, either. I was currently in the process of extending a light telepathic touch into all the minds present, sorting through their memories to find a way to possess her, as well as stealing what procedural memories of theirs that I found useful.

He shook his head, a fearful look in his eye. Perhaps I was a bit too harsh on him... "No, Koji bit me. I ran, and..." He shuddered. "My arm... it went numb, and the same weird markings that appeared where the... thing... touched Koji started to appear on my arm. I... I didn't risk it."

"Wise," the bandit leader said. He smiled weakly at her.

An then one of her knives was buried in his gut. "Don't take any risks," she murmured into his ear as he breathed his last. That poor, sweet fool. Well, not sweet. If there was any word that could describe her less, I had yet to find it from my delving into her or her subordinates' minds. My point, though, is that a zombie is much harder to kill than a normal man. The red markings sprouted from his good arm, and with inhuman speed the freshly-made monster sank its new claws into the man who was bandaging it just moments ago. The woman snarled as the markings spread across both zombies. She managed to decapitate the original, but my second zombie evaded her blade and shambled toward another bandit, which it bit. I let a few of the bandits survive, but my small-scale zombie apocalypse led to the deaths of most of the scofflaws.

The leader of what was now considerably fewer bandits slammed her fist on the wall in rage as she surveyed the corpses left behind. "Damn," she growled as they dissolved into red dust. "At least they won't be coming back..."

"You do care, boss!" one of the survivors cheered.

"I don't care one bit about you idiots and if I hadn't just lost most of my men I'd have killed you for that moronic comment," she said coldly. She meant it, too. "We need to recruit, and that means we need more money. Secure the base, we can't leave anyone on guard." If I had a mouth, I'd have smiled. I needed the practice, after all. Their hideout was an abandoned mine, secluded and buried in a mountain. Not to mention the gold stored within, even if I would want to give some back to the villages they were stealing from. And they were leaving it for me. How thoughtful.

kukukuku~

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Neji asked me.

I shrugged and licked my lips. "Not gonna get any better at fighting by going easy," I said.

"Yeah, but you pretty much need your powers to take me down if I activate Furnace." Neji's pseudo-jinchuriki power. We started calling it Furnace because with how unique it was it pretty much deserved a unique name. Technically, his red chakra reserves were abysmal. However, we found out that whenever he exerted himself he could activate it to essentially let himself generate more, though he'd only keep it for so long when not exerting himself.

End result, his power steadily grew the longer he fought. He also gained power each time he hit or was hit. It had a few limitations and placed strain on his body the more he used it, but as far as I knew he could theoretically fight a bijū if he built up enough, maybe even Kaguya. That'd probably kill him, though...

"And how else am I supposed to change that?" I asked. I got into my stance. "Let's do this before I change my mind."

His eyes turned red, with a white slit pupil because of his Byakugan. "Your funeral..."

A few moments later...

"Owwwww," I groaned. "My... pride..."

"I didn't even get warmed up at all," Neji smugly remarked from where he was sitting on my spine, pinning me. I didn't ask him to get up because I was sucking off the last dregs of his red chakra. For whatever reason I couldn't assimilate Furnace, but I could still steal Neji's red chakra to heal myself and stuff.

"You okay, dude?" I asked.

"As I said, I barely got warmed up. My body is fine." After he activated Furnace for the first time, he'd ended up bedridden for an hour because of the strain it put on his body. When he started to test it, he pretended he was fine even though he kept using it past his limits. He ended up too sick to stand for weeks. It was actually around that time that he managed to figure out natural energy manipulation, probably because he was stuck in bed and bored out of his mind for so long. "I probably should let myself cool down for a bit, but I'm assuming you'll want to fight me without Furnace anyways."

I snorted. "Jerk. And here I was worried about you."

He got up. He had an amused smile. "Let's go another round, then."

kukukuku~

"I'm sore," I complained as we walked through the halls.

"You hit me a few times," Neji dismissed.

"You hit me more..."

"And whose fault was that?" I rolled my eyes and lightly punched him on the shoulder. He sage-flicked me. I was about to retort, but I felt a familiar signature when I opened up my senses, so...

"Is that Ino?" I asked, jerking my head in the direction of the compound's main entrance. I knew this was going to happen for a while. I'd been keeping tabs on her in a totally not creepy way because if it. I was also keeping tabs on Sakura, but that was more to see what the effects of that strange power were on her body. She accidentally ripped a door off its hinges more than once, which would've been pretty hilarious if it weren't for the angst it was giving her...

"That feels like her. I wonder why she's here." He used his Byakugan for a moment. I pulled out a compact mirror I'd made to be compatible with my scrying jutsu and looked at her as well. "Does she have a flower?" She was walking up to the door with a flower in her hand, yes.

I sighed. "I'm not good with flowers, but I'm pretty sure that's a forget-me-not. Pretty sure she's here for me, I'll go deal with her."

Neji insisted on hiding in the background while I greeted Ino, because she wasn't exactly subtle about her childish crush. I really hoped I wouldn't lose her as a friend, though... Just in case, I used my power to try to find the best path forward. I really hoped my life wouldn't become some sort of anti-dating simulator...

I opened the door. "Ino. Why are you here and holding a flower that symbolizes true love?" I'd learned some hanakotoba from her, but to be honest I just knew it from looking ahead in the script.

She smiled and held it out to me. "I came to confess my true love to you, Kouki."

I took a deep breath, trying very, very hard not to sigh. "Ino, no offense, I love you like a friend, but we are both four years old and you have no idea what true love is."

That confused her. "But... you saved me?"

Why do romance stories have to be so romanticized? Don't... don't answer that... "I'm your friend. Of course I saved you. But I don't love you like that and you don't love me like that because as I just said, we're both children."

She lowered the flower. This was a little harsh, but she needed to hear it. "Oh. Yeah. I guess I look stupid to you now, huh?"

I shrugged. "To be fair, you have a level of wisdom appropriate to our age. It just so happens that being wise as a four-year-old is an outlier."

"What?"

"You're a kid. You're allowed to be stupid."

She thought about that for a moment. "So... you're not mad at me or anything?"

"You're my friend. Of course not." I smiled. It probably wasn't the best smile, but at least Ino didn't run in terror... "Hey, if you want, I can show you a really cool jutsu."

She nodded. "Sure!" As I walked past, I gave Neji a smug grin when I saw his jaw on the floor. I'm sure he was expecting some kind of awkwardness.

To be fair, so was I.

kukukuku~

Chikage

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed as he returned to his room after a long day of paperwork. Even with a shadow clone, it was just so slow. Seriously, I was so bored, and I was just watching over his shoulder! I can't even imagine having to do paperwork... He closed the door, locking it. "You're here, aren't you, Kouki?" Half right. Eh, I'll give it to him.

His shadow moved to be in front of him. "How perceptive of you," my voice seemed to come from the shadow. I couldn't exactly speak when my body was literally flat against the wall, but I could very much trick people's brains into thinking I could. My arm peeled off of the floor, keeping its pitch coloration. I raised my other arm, then used them to "pull" myself off of the floor, still in the form of a shadowy Hokage. I did a few stretches. "Man, staying in one shadow for hours kills my back, apparently. I don't even know how that works, considering the fact that I don't even have a form as a shadow..." I changed back to my humanoid form and licked my lips.

"I know that Kouki is responsible in some way, but what are you?" he asked me.

"Rude," I said, faux-offended. "You don't hear me asking you humans what you are. Though to be fair I already know."

He frowned. "You're like Kouki, but not quite. Who are you, then?"

"Did I really never tell you about me?" I paused and thought for a moment. "Or would it be better to ask if we never told you about me... I'm still not sure how pronouns work with our unique situation..."

"What, exactly, is the answer to my question?"

I shrugged. "I'm Kouki and Kouki is me. We're two halves of the same whole, at the moment."

"What are you..." He frowned and closed his eyes. "Red chakra?" he said when he opened them.

I nodded. "I've been purified of almost all of my humanity, the same as how Kouki's removed most of the red chakra from himself. He's weaker, I'm stronger, and because we're two separate entities we have independent thoughts and can be in two places at once, as you can tell. And we can recombine at any time." I sat down in midair. "Call me Chikage."

"I suppose that that makes sense... That sounds like a useful jutsu. Though why are you a girl?"

I examined my blackened claws. "Why not?"

"And I suppose that's also why you're wearing a frilly dress?"

"It's called gothic lolita, and the best thing about being made of chakra is the fact that I can more or less freely shapeshift. Now, sit down." I gestured behind him, where I'd pulled up a chair without him noticing. I also made an illusion that made both his chair and the air I was sitting on look like identical, ornate seats. "We have business to attend to."

"The Uchiha massacre, I assume?" I nodded. A table with a deck of fancy-looking cards "appeared" in between us. I really love genjutsu.

"In one year today Itachi will be forced to kill his entire clan, with the exception of his brother." I picked up the top card from the deck and flipped it over. The Tower. "And obviously we would prefer this not to happen." I reversed the position of the Tower. "But of course, there is a problem." I flipped over the next card, Judgement.

He sighed. It seemed he got my message. "The public is being turned turned against the Uchiha, which is in turn turning the Uchiha against the public. Until we stop that all we can do is delay the massacre..." I revealed the third card, The Devil, with Danzō as its subject. "Yes. Even though we haven't tipped our hands yet and he hopefully doesn't suspect us, Danzō is still fighting us."

"There are two paths that you can take to deal with him." I reversed the position of the Devil, causing the illustration's face to soften. "First, you could make him see the light, show him how much he's tearing the village apart to 'protect' it. Maybe you can do it because you used to be friends or something, but to be honest I doubt it, which leaves the second option." A black flame sparked from my finger, setting the Devil card ablaze. It disappeared without a trace. "Either way, he needs to be neutralized. I take it he's good at covering his tracks, considering the fact that he's made an attempt on your life without retaliation?"

"Of course. And I take it he'd use it as evidence of my 'senility' if I attempted to pin him on it without enough evidence?"

"My eyes don't show it, meaning there's no possibility of us attempting it. Probably, though." I cocked my head. "If I were to, I don't know, figure out a way to take other objects with me when I shadow travel and use that to steal all kinds of incriminating evidence, would that work?"

He nodded. "That would work. I'll proceed assuming you don't, with how that was a hypothetical, though."

I sighed. "Yeah, that's about right. If we fail, though, I have one last idea." I revealed The Hanged Man, reversed, with Uchiha Shisui modeling for mister four-legs. "If we stop Danzō's attack on Shisui, then he can use Kotoamatsukami on the Uchiha. It's not ideal, but it's a contingency."

"Yes, that sounds good. Unless there's anything else, you may leave." I faded into the shadows, taking my illusions with me.

kukukuku~

Usagi

"Alright everyone!" one of the bandits shouted. "You know the drill by now, your money is ours! Give it up easily and we won't kill you!" The townspeople were afraid, but they'd clearly been through this before.

"Will you really?" I asked. "You may find some trouble with that."

"Who are you?" the leader asked me.

"You would already know," I said as I strolled across the road to her, "had you not murdered my puppet."

"Ah, so you're the monster he talked about." She sneered at me and drew her daggers. "You killed my men."

"I did nothing of the sort," I retaliated. "I mutated them, controlled them. You were the ones who killed them."

"All the same, you'll die."

"To be honest I am not entirely sure I can die." I slowly removed my gloves from my hands and placed them in the bag under my cloak.

"I'll test it for you, then."

"You may be able to destroy this body, but my essence has already soaked your hideout. I believe I should be able to resurrect myself, as it were."

She smiled a sadistic smile. "I'm fine killing you over and over again until it sticks." She lunged at me, daggers flashing. I yanked back my sleeve and used my bare arm to block. I wasn't going to be needing my arm much longer, but I wanted to preserve the cloak. Her daggers sank into the stone of my arm, as I had made it softer. I wanted the knives as well. I capitalized on the bandit leader's momentary confusion to take off my mask and jam it onto her face. The last thing she saw before her life ended was a glowing red pearl on the backside of the mask.

I retrieved my new knives from my old arm, then took my cloak for my new body. Luckily, my new body wasn't too much larger than my old one, so the cloak still fit well enough. Along with the cloak, I'd palmed the other demon pearl (a pearl-shaped demon sage core) from my old body, causing it to crumble back into dirt within moments of me putting the cloak back on. I took my bag from the dirt and shook it off.

"Boss?" one of the bandits asked. "You okay?"

I slowly reached up to my mask and grasped the bottom. It cracked at the mouth such that the entire bottom was smoothly removed. I stored the bottom back in my bag, though, just in case I should come to need it. With my new mouth and the bottom of my nose uncovered, I took a deep breath, as if my first in a century. "No, I do not believe she is," I said. "For one, her mind and soul have been wiped from this body."

"What the hell even are you!?"

"To be perfectly honest I'm not quite sure. I do know one thing, though." With an organic body, I no longer had problems with agility. And in particular, this new body was trained for rapid movement. As such, the two bandits nearest me were bisected in a flash with red-glowing knives, as if through butter. Their bodies dissolved into the same red dust that the other bandits' corpses had. "You are dead. Now, are the rest of you willing to fight, or will you run in terror?" They ran in terror.

"Who are you?" a villager cautiously asked me a few minutes after I sheathed my knives. The villagers were understandably quite afraid of me.

"My name is Usagi." With the bandits gone, I'd switched to a small, personable smile. "If you wait, I should be able to bring you the money those bandits took from you."

"Thank you."

[raendown]

Day 22 Pairing: Tobirama/Kagami Word count: 1535 Word: Whelve - to bury something deep, to hide

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Whelve - Tobirama/Kagami

Kagami had every intention of staying at the party until dawn. It wasn’t every day you got to celebrate the unexpected yet peaceful retirement of a man who’d never wanted the job anyway. After his brother’s death Tobirama had only accepted the mantle of Hokage because it was the Shodaime’s dying wish that he watch over the hard-won dream of a lifetime but it only took a handful of years for Tobirama to find someone better and more willing. Mito was going to make a wonderful Hokage, they all agreed. And with her Uzumaki bloodline she was likely to outlive them all anyway.

Unfortunately for Kagami’s plans of being smashed before the sun had set he was roped in to walking a drunken Hiruzen home instead. Evidently his friend had been pre-drinking since noon and barely lasted all the way through the admittedly unsteady speech Tobirama gave after consuming more sake than any of them had ever seen him throw back in one sitting. Among the many mysteries of the second Senju it appeared he was a man of refined tastes when it came to liquor and had his brother’s constitution for it. Which was to say that he was swaying after half a bottle. Two bottles in and Kagami cursed every god he knew for making him the responsible, caring type. He could have been back at the party watching Tobirama loosen up for once but instead he was frog-marching Hiruzen up the front steps of his home in the Sarutobi compound.

“Sleep it off,” he ground out. “And drink some water, you slosh. I hope Biwako gets a hold of you tomorrow.”

“No, don’t tell Biwako I was drinking!”

“I don’t have to, she was sitting right next to you. Dumb ass.” Kagami rolled his eyes at the idiot and left.

He headed back to the party with every intention of using his Sharingan to record the once in a lifetime sight of Senju Tobirama drunkenly swaying through his own party – only to be told that Tobirama left shortly after he did and no one knew where he’d gone. Just his luck.

Not nearly as drunk as he wanted to be, denied the thing he’d been looking forward to since the day the Nidaime announced his retirement, Kagami declined the offering for him to rejoin the party and turned for home. What was the point of celebrating if the man they were celebrating for had left? At least this way he would get some sleep so he wouldn’t be so hungover for his shift running patrols the next afternoon. There was that.

The way home was quiet and lonely. Last time he’d gone out with friends they had all stumbled back to the closest apartment and crashed in the living room together. He smiled as he remembered that the closest friendly living room had actually been Tobirama’s and while he had obviously not been pleased to have them disturbing his rest in the wee hours of the morning he had caved fairly quickly when Kagami turned on the puppy eyes. It was almost as though he grew more and more weak to them as the years went by.

Just as he approached his front door and reached for the keys in his pocket Kagami realized that he was not alone. There was enough time to spin around, a split second to identify the other person, and then suddenly he was lurching under Tobirama’s weight as the man tripped over his own feet and pitched forward.

“Right, look, I’ve got something to tell you,” he announced in slurred syllables.

“That’s a little off from your usual greetings but alright. Hello to you too. You know people are looking for you?” Kagami bit his lip as soon as he got Tobirama back on two feet. Plastered was a good look on him. It left his eyes half lidded and a painted a very fetched splash of red across his cheeks.

“I am not the Hokage anymore,” Tobirama declared.

Wincing at his volume, Kagami nodded slowly. “Fancy that. We should have a party for you.”

“And as such I am no longer your superior.”

“How about you come and don’t be my superior inside where I can tuck you in to a nice soft couch?” Door stealthily unlocked while the other man was distracted, Kagami gently tugged him inside. He only made it inside the genkan, just far enough to kick the door shut behind them, when Tobirama spun and pressed him back against the wall.

“But I’m not above you anymore,” he said as though protesting something.

“Not technically, I guess.”

Tobirama groaned and dropped his head on to Kagami’s shoulder. “No, you don’t get it! I’m not…I don’t outrank you! I’ve outranked you for years!”

“Okay…” Maybe if he just let the man ramble he would get to the point.

“Years of pretending it’s not there and pushing it down and now I don’t outrank you and you leave! That’s…you weren’t supposed to leave.” He sounded genuinely offended.

Kagami, however, was only more confused. “Leave where?”

“The party!”

“I was taking Hiruzen home; the idiot could barely stand on his own two feet. Much like you. How exactly did you get here by yourself?”

“As if I’d let a bit of sake stop me from getting to you.”

Tobirama’s words were earnest and Kagami felt something flutter in his chest. Finally the man pulled himself away from the neck he was all but drooling on and used two handfuls of Kagami’s shirt to keep himself upright. Knowing how stiff and proper he always was, it was a good guess that tonight could actually be the first time he’d gotten properly drunk.

Hilarious though it might be to witness, it was also kind of annoying. After dealing with one drunkard and being denied his public entertainment Kagami really just wanted to crawl in to bed and sleep. He’d thought drunken Tobirama would be fun blackmail but instead he was just confusing and toeing some lines that Kagami didn’t appreciate. Watching someone dance and make a fool of themselves was one thing. Having the man in front of him say things that played with his heart was quite another. He knew Tobirama, however, and the man was like a dog with a bone when he wanted something. The quickest way to get this over with would be to just play along.

“Why did you need to get to me?” he asked bluntly.

“Because I’m not the Hokage anymore.”

“Yes, I got that part, but why did you need to come tell me specifically? Everyone knows that.”

Tobirama blinked at him once, twice, then turned his lips up in a sheepish smile so gentle it didn’t even look like his own face anymore. “I am very, very drunk,” he announced.

“Uh-huh.” Kagami gave him the flattest look in his repertoire. “I guessed that.”

“Don’t other people use their drunkenness to give them courage? I thought that was just the thing to do. Once I realized the state I was in I went looking for you but you were gone. How am I supposed to make drunken confessions if you leave?” Again he looked offended.

And again Kagami was nothing but confused.

“Confessions?” he asked carefully. Tobirama’s smile turned sloppy as he leaned closer.

“Yes, about me being in love you.”

“Oh. Well that…that’s not what I was expecting,” Kagami admitted faintly.

What he wanted, yes. He’d been dreaming of hearing those words for such a long time it was hard to remember what it was like to look at Tobirama and not feel a yearning deep in his chest. To ever consider that the man had been hiding the same yearning, had only held himself back because of the gap between their ranks, it seemed almost too good to be true.

But there was Tobirama with his eyebrows up expectantly as though waiting to hear someone’s opinion on his latest budget proposal. What a ridiculous man. At some point Kagami should probably question his own sanity for choosing this particular dumb ass to fall in love with.

“I think,” he began softly, “that I would like to hear that much better if you were sober.”

“Oh. Really? Then I suppose I should sober up…”

“Mhm. Why don’t you lay down on the guest bed and sleep it off? I’ll bring you some water and we can talk in the morning, okay?”

“Excellent idea. The room had begun to spin and I would appreciate if it stopped that.”

Kagami bit his lip and turned to help Tobirama down the hall. Hopefully when the morning came he woke up first so he could prevent any escape attempts before that conversation happened. The man he loved could be a slippery one whenever emotions were involved and Kagami very much intended to pin him down for this particular talk that they had both apparently been waiting a long time for.

And then he very much intended to spend the next decade or so teasing him about being so socially awkward that he deliberately used his drunken state to confess. At least they would have a fun story to tell the grandkids.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S20 (Pt. 3)

I wonder if going after Karin’s Tsukuyomi bulb was happenstance or whether Tobirama went “I smell an Uzumaki” and had at it

“Just be quiet for a bit” How dare you speak to your father this way Sasuke, Kakashi does nothing but love you

“EVERYONE WILL OWN A DOG. GO GET A DOG, HOKAGE’S DECREE!“ you’ve got my vote, Kiba

Mirai as a baby is an absolute unit and I love it

Shikamaru, getting down on one knee in front of Temari: Will you not marry me?

You know what. All these dreams are extremely realistic. I buy it. A teenage boy would totally dream about kicking his friends’ asses for fun even if he had the opportunity to do anything in the world. 10/10 believability 

Sai dreams about being told he has a nice smile and being twirled around by Naruto my boooooy 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“[My Sasori transformer] will be the guardian deity of the Sand” Kankuro pls

Omg Temari’s dream is so cute she wants her little brothers to need her

God the fact Gaara’s dream is about having a happy childhood PICK UP THE PHONE RASA I JUST NEED TO TALK

“Madara, don’t you dare talk about the Uchiha. The only one who has that right, is my big brother.” But he did... murder them, Sasuke. That is a thing that happened. My dear. My dude. He done did it.  

Having read Itachi Shinden none of this should be shocking but FUGAKU REALLY YOUR SON IS FOUR WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

“Listen Itachi, never forget this sight” well he sure won’t now that you’ve given him CHILD PTSD FUGAKU

“We finally have peace, and we must do our best to maintain it” Hmmm.... must you, Fugaku? Is that a thing you must do?

“What is life, anyway?” Damn my existential dread didn’t kick in at least until I was in school, Itachi

Sasuke was such a weird-looking newborn I love him

I wonder how the English dub will deal with the mild implications of inc/est between Itachi and Izumi

Please Mikoto your son is like 6 why are you having him babysit

God I am so used to every version of Itachi having the voice of a grownass man that hearing a child-like voice even when he is 6 is almost off-putting lmao

Full offence Obito but why do you have to be such a little bitch

“Oh good, I knew that you’d be alright” HE’S 6 FUGAKU

Why is Naruto just sitting in a basket on top of his father’s grave??? Who let you do this? Hiruzen what is wrong with you??

“I’m glad that you didn’t die” an accurate representation of Itachi’s social skills at all ages

DFhsdjfhkdsjhfk I love that Itachi has accidentally become these kids’ leader 

AHHHHH I guess that’s Hana next to Itachi I wanna see the cat ninja and dog ninja fight 

“If the fighting can be stopped, I’d like to stop it” Shisui <3 

Itachi’s sweet tooth is so goddamn cute ahhhh what a little nerd

Hhgfkhjfhl SASUKE’S PAW ENCYCLOPEDIA THE PREQUEL THIS IS WHAT I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED

“I mean, [ladies] are clueless” “How dare you insult my woman” Turns out the alcohol this cat was drinking was Respect Women Juice

God I love Minazuki-sensei he’s such a mess

“No they blew away in the wind” guess Itachi hasn’t picked up his snitching tendencies yet lmao

Baby Sasuke has acquired a younger voice too I guess. It is real late in the game to be establishing these lmao

Obito. I’m. Stop???? Please. Is this how Kakashi felt during the war

God I love Shisui the tiny ninja detective they really have left off some of the cooler aspects of being a shinobi in all the wild and flashy jutsu like during the Land of Waves arc when Kakashi kept noticing relatively mundane clues

“Shisui picked up on how I felt right from the beginning” welcome to empathy Itachi

“I’ll hand this intel over to Lord Hokage, and he will deliver a just and fair judgment” I like this ANBU vs. ROOT dichotomy but bold of you to assume Hiruzen won’t ultimately let Danzo do whatever he wants lol

Damn what the shit how does Shisui know who the foundation already isn’t he like 12 

The animation of this arc is nice but also so weird they really did make Itachi and Shisui’s eyes like half of their face

These wholeass adults getting between by two prepubescents lmao 

“A teleportation jutsu has no mass” wait WHAT I have so many questions Shisui what does that MEAN 

“I want to you to think of me as your older brother” HELL YEAH HE DOES

Ffgdfkghkjh what an abrupt voice change between age 8 and 11 Itachi

How many times have they animated these same goddamn Itachi scenes 

Holy shit it’s like they tried to tell the story of the Itachi Shinden novels and then got bored halfway through gfkhgfkhgkjh

“I’m exhaAAAUsted from my mission” Itachi pls why say it like that

“You have the Mangekyo as well?” Fugaku had a friend???? Unrealistic. Blocked

THEY KIDNAPPED NARUTO??? I DON’T REMEMBER THIS IN ITACHI SHINDEN

Genjutsu but I don’t remember that either ?!?!?! Doesn’t Fugaku spend all of Itachi Shinden being emotionally distant and sending Itachi mixed moral messages

Who is the Fugaku hater on this storyboard staff lmao I’m crying

I have a lot of thoughts about this art direction honestly why is everything in the shadows why are the character models so weird why is Itachi suddenly outside in the lightning for his murder discussion meeting instead of inside the council room if you had to shout over lightning people could hear you 

“I challenge you to the high jump” “You’re no match for me” Sasuke you’re the most obnoxious seven-year-old in the world I love it

“There’s something that I’d like you to help me with” a very casual opener when you’re proposing the murder of your entire clan but okay

They really leaned into the horror movie aesthetic huh fair enough 

I have some objections to register about Izumi’s death like both options are weird but at least in Itachi Shinden she wasn’t humiliated by Obito begging for Itachi to save her she had a degree of awareness and it was an impactful if strange scene

FUCK THE TOBI VOICE I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT I’M WHEEZING

Cute new ED but also the idea of Tobirama giving anyone a fistbump amuses me immensely 

“Who would’ve thought that that scuzzy bearded jerk would’ve been able to use a taijutsu like that” RUDE but also ‘scuzzy’ jhfjghkjhfgj

Omg that’s so funny they literally gave the former owner of Zabuza’s blade the same voice

This doesn’t make any fucking sense how could Juzo have the executioner’s blade when Zabuza would be like 21 when Itachi was 13 oh my god 

“The Hidden Mist doesn’t keep any prisoners” unsurprising but interesting

Is this meant to imply that Juzo is killed and then Zabuza immediately finds the sword and starts a coup because that’s hilarious

Wait how does them fighting the Mizukage make any sense isn’t Yagura under Obito’s control lmao who wrote this

Did Itachi just.... accidentally cripple the Mizukage omg [Zabuza screams in the distance]

Hahahaha I know it’s supposed to be evil but it’s really funny that Kakuzu killed his partner for being too slow

“I wouldn’t know how to cater to your moods” kjfhgkdhfgjh Kakuzu just got wrecked by a thirteen-year-old LMAO 

“I’m not sure what to do with you... whether to kill you right now or find a way to use you” KILL OROCHIMARU, ITACHI, IT’S GONNA SAVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE 

Why the hell would Kabuto be hanging out near the Akatsuki anyway isn’t he in a long term infiltration of the Leaf Village lmao or can Orochimaru summon him like a snake

On what basis does Pain decide these partnerships did Kisame and Sasori take a babysitting course or smth

The cutaway without the “This... is art” scene is almost funnier because it implies Itachi just had to flash his eyes at Deidara and Deidara was like, “HELLO AKATSUKI I AM HERE”

“I wouldn’t mind giving you a taste of my art” [insert ninja sex joke about Deidara’s mouth hands here]

Deidara really should not be old enough to be here by this point in the narrative but this entire arc has been wacky timeline wise

Man it must be fucked up to fight a puppet version of your own corpse

“What I really wanted... was to get a hold of Itachi’s body” you are the definition of stranger danger Orochimaru

From what I remember the video games had Kakuzu and Orochimaru approaching Hidan and not Konan and Itachi but I’m game for any Orochimaru erasure lmao

 I’m pretty sure all of that blood was Hidan’s?? World-building whomst

“He licked Kakuzu’s blood” did he though?? Show me his wound Itachi

OMG they’re really heavy-handed with Leaf!Itachi as if we did not just watch a bunch of episodes of Itachi caring about his village like honestly look at this:

Kisame: So even you have feelings for your birthplace, is that it?

Itachi: No. Not at all. [Sasuke, I hope that you’re safe.] 

(Me too Itachi 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

“It’s been a long time... Saaasuke” could you say his name a little less weirdly please Itachi

You really can’t get mad at Kakashi for teaching Sasuke chidori Itachi like maybe if you would murder less people Kakashi would feel a little less overprotective

God was the only point of animating and voicing these scenes again so that Itachi could mentally apologize every twelve seconds? You know what fair enough, anxiety and depression be like that sometimes

“You still have people who’ll protect you” Oh plot twist Itachi was actually writing a “Nice” list instead of a “Naughty” list and Kakashi, Jiraiya and Naruto are all on it

Oh yeah I kind of forgot that this was all supposed to be like a 5 minute span for Sasuke’s flashback of Itachi’s entire life lmao

You know.... it’s real unclear to me how Obito wakes up from his trance lmao he may not be in a cocoon but he’s certainly exposed to the light

“Be careful. We’re surrounded on all sides by four of his shadows” “Yeah I know that” Yeah, Naruto knows it, but Sasuke’s warning where the Shadow Madaras are entirely for Kakashi and Sakura’s benefit BC HE WORRIES MY BABY BOYYYY

“This chakra is even way stronger than Ten-Tails” I really heard “Tenten” there and I was like, wait what did I miss with Tenten kfhkjhgkjhg

OH GOOD ANOTHER UCHIHA FLESH MOUNTAIN JUST WHAT WE NEEDED

“They’re turned into White Zetsu” I hate this nonsensical bit of world-building it made more sense and felt less weird when they were Hashirama clones like what the fuck

Oh I can’t believe this is making me feel almost bad for Madara did Zetsu really edit the Uchiha Stone Tablet’s Tsukuyomi section to say “Peace Plans” ain’t that how like the CIA entraps people 

“Hashirama... where did I go wrong” We’d need a lot more time than you have to unpack that Madara

“Countless nights passed” I mean. Was it countless nights. Because I think it was. A couple hours. This war arc spans like two days. I have spent more human hours on this arc than they’ve spent ninja hours in this war

“I can’t believe such a person existed” neither can I Sasuke it’s almost like she was invented specifically for this arc

For real Obito no offence but like why aren’t you dead it just doesn’t make much sense khkjfdhkjhgkjh

Hmmm not 2 be that gal but Kaguya’s voice is v pleasant on the ears 

“Sorry to be so rough with you, Obito” Kakashi. You loving, kind, dumb bitch. He stabbed you THREE TIMES in the past two days you really owe him like -1000 apologies

“This is also one of those times where your body just moves on its own” SASUKE CALLED OUT FOR LOVING HIS COMRADES

“I’ve got to get to Naruto” I love your dedication Minato but I feel as though the loss of both of your arms makes helping more difficult

Kakashi is not NEARLY as surprised about this levitation thing as he should be. I think as this point he’s just like. ‘This might as well happen’

All other things aside Kaguya’s really fun to look at damn

Okay okay okay not to look for too much logic in this ninja show but don’t both Naruto and Sasuke have Six Paths chakra why can only Naruto float is a metaphor for Sasuke’s fall from grace

“I am Kaguya’s child” I can only imagine a Game of Thrones-eque shadow flying out the hooha situation

“Just before the seal took hold, she gave birth to me, in order that she could be restored” I can only assume Kaguya fucked Bitterness and Regret and you know.... fair enough

I gotta tell you Zetsu being the primary narrator of this arc is jarring

Tenji seems kinda nice it’s a shame something terrible will probably happen to him

Say what you will about SP’s animation inconsistencies they can animate some beautiful-ass skies

“Is there anything that you desire” Get u a man like Tenji

Fellas is it gay to sit under the stars with your handmaiden who adores you in comfortable silence

“Even now you’re not scared. That just makes me like you more” take a shot every time a man is Like That (bah dum tss) 

“Do Not Touch Me,” wow Kaguya mood

I will clarify I said that BEFORE she exploded the men gkhkjfhgkhh

Tenji, that Aino lady is your subordinate are you really gonna leave her with the creepy That man u are not the man I thought you were

“Just tell him, and I’m sure that Lord Tenji will forgive you” to be fair Aino you could’ve elaborated u were just like ‘yup she killed them’ and left it at that

WOW I RESCIND ALL COMPLIMENTS TO TENJI CALM DOWN DUDE

When life gives u lemons use people as fertilizer for ur infinite lemon tree I guess

Are you telling me 1) Gamamaru has existed since the DAWN OF CHAKRA and 2) He knew all about this Tsukuyomi shit just like. Kept it on the DL. WHAT KINDA WORLD-BUILDING

Okay but for real did the Otsutsuki clan stem like.... all the clans, because there’s the Kaguya clan (through Hamura I guess?), and the Hyuga clan definitely through Hamura, and then the Senju, Uchiha, and Uzumaki through Hagoromo like just how many people did your kids sleep with and for that matter how long ago was this

“A real talking toad! Think people would like it if we caught it and took it home?” Why are Hagoromo and Hamura the cutest things in the world this is the sibling content we deserve

“You’re just a snake oil salesman, and not a very good one” oh I think I love Hamura oh no I would love a character who gets stuck on the moon 

Take a shot every time a woman exists to die and make a man sad 

“She fell in love with the ruler of this land and in time she became pregnant with the two of you” notice that at no point does Gamamaru say they got married can u believe Kaguya invented premarital sex

You know none of this goes against mine and Sloane’s Kagumo theory

“How can you see so far into a toad’s heart that clearly” Gamamaru and Hagoromo’s interactions are killing me

How much time has passed for Hamura’s hair to grow that long

Hamura @ Kaguya: BROTHERS BEFORE MOTHERS

HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED FOR HAGOROMO TO DEVELOP THIS BROW RIDGE SAGE LAND TAKES A TOLL 

Tenji doesn’t even appear in this flashback about love and betrayal it’s just Kaguya being bitter bc her gal Aino died they were in lesbians together

Every so often I’m reminded that Kishimoto has a twin brother and I wonder what he thinks about making the twins fight

“You enabled me to awaken the mangekyo sharingan and rinnegan” how do u even have words for those things. Didn’t they just happen right this moment

Wow this is all very Little Shop of Horrors, Momma feeds the tree with people juice and in turn it wants to protect her from harm

“I split the Ten Tails into nine souls” SOULS? HAGOROMO CAN... JUST MAKE SOULS. COULD HE POINT AT GAMAMARU AND SAY “YOU ARE TWO FROGS NOW” AND THAT’D JUST BE TRUE?

“We won’t be that far apart,” said Hagoromo, just as his brother was about to teleport to the moon

Side note: Maybe ur crops were failing bc without the moon the tides are all out of whack and you know, the moon was apparently just invented right now

“Time passed, and so did Hagoromo” I love this particular literary device

“Time after time I’d approach the reincarnates of Indra and Ashura” okay so we’re supposed to be down for not only regular reincarnation in Naruto but Indra and Ashura ONLY BEING BORN TO THE SENJU AND UCHIHA CLANS REPEATEDLY WHAT WHO WROTE THIS

Does this mean that people Naruto and Sasuke every 50 years????You’d think the Land of Fire would just. Get used to it

“Just with that alone, a thousands years passed” well at least we have some idea of how much time it’s been since Kaguya era lmao 

Ur telling me that this horseshit happened bc Tobirama doesn’t know to leave dead bodies well enough alone

SHHHHH I PREFER THE ZETSU BEING WEIRD HASHIRAMA CLONES

This montage of Zetsu taking credit for everything Madara and Obito did is not appreciated lmao take some responsibility for your actions!!!!

I’m gonna keep harping on this for the rest of the war honestly like where is the ACCOUNTABILITY

“So your teen rebellion continues” LMAO UR NOT WRONG

“I know that this could be our last hurrah, but we gotta give it our best shot” not much of a plan Naruto sweetheart but fair

Tag urself I’m Kakashi’s look of despair at his hormonal students

“And Sasuke? Sorry that my sexy jutsu didn’t work” I was not prepared for the sincerity with which that line was delivered

The Sad Old Man™ energy radiating off Obito is... Immense 

“We’re all ready to die” R U THINKING OF RIN BC SHE WAS READY TO DIE OR BC UR READY TO SEE HER EITHER WAY IT’S SAD KAKASHI

“I want to thank you for helping me out. And for helping Sasuke” “No, there’s no need to thank me” this is the first time Obito has been right about something since the age of 13

“I’m not going to waste time on speeches,” said Obito, in the middle of a dramatic speech 

Minato..... how did you chop the branch.... with no hands to pick up a kunai???????? What kind of yoga contortion was involved

What I imagine the subtext of this scene to be:

Hagoromo: New old son!!!! I am dad now

Hashirama, whose dad was Butsuma: [choking back tears] Okay

Tobirama: I also hate our father

They’re all taking to this “demi-god pops out of the bottom half of dead ex-comrade” thing pretty well but to be fair they’ve had a complicated day

[yxksha-blog]

Secret SANDa Fic

@withyourrhythm: Merry Christmas! I really hope you enjoy this gift <3

Sunagakure was knee deep into another war, following too closely at the heels of the last. For the same reasons. On the same strategies. With the same war-worn children of the Second Shinobi War. Now, all grown up to be its heroes and front liners.

Their enemies to the North have also moved to the east. Iwagakure has invaded Kusagakure, in hopes of gaining territory against Konoha. Spread thin, it would have been the perfect time to go against Iwa.

Except that Konoha had other plans.

“I’ve got movement,” Rasa brought the wireless microphone closer to him. “At the Mesa. C5.” His optic nerve latched unto a foreign figure scanning the horizon while Rasa sat safe in an underground bunker beneath the desert sands.

Kaze no Kuni’s Great Desert was Suna’s greatest ally. A vast expanse of levelled sands that left little room to hide. And with Rasa’s Third Eye keeping watch— there was nowhere to run too.

Not even for Konoha’s Yellow Flash.

“Away from the boundary?” came a voice from the ear piece. “We’re not to engage otherwise. He has a flee on sight order.”

“Those aren’t my orders.”

Namikaze Minato is sure to try his luck sneaking into Sunagakure. The Kazekage said, almost as an after thought. Or at least I would send him over to assassinate me if I were the Hokage. Konoha is desperate to cripple at least one village right about now. They’re running low on some resources, I hear. They need the war to end soon.

“Rasa. Careful. Those are everyone’s orders. You’re valuable to the village and you’re not about to lose your head on account of being stupid.”

He adjusted the position of his Third Eye, moving behind Minato. What are you looking at, shinobi?

Rasa caught sight of a village up in the horizon. It’s not a fort nor was it in any particularly strategic location. “Movement. On foot forward to C6, 7— he looks like he’s heading for the village up in C39. Do we have anything on it?”

“Hmm…” Rasa waited patiently as he listened to pages turning. Some scratching sounds. “Not much really. Just a trading center. There’ll be some water… I guess a few camels for food. But nothing Suna will miss.”

He nodded in agreement. Rasa was about to leave it at that when—— “Hey, did you say a trading centre?” His optic nerve watched Minato come closer and closer to it. Going faster than a regular shinobi but slower than his usual speed. Saving chakra. C21. C22. C23.

“Yeah, you know. Camels and their carts all around the oasis. Hah, can you imagine the Konoha people seeing—“

“Does it go to Suna?”

C26. C27.

“What?”

C30. C31.

“We have trading centers with free passage to Suna for the war? Do we let this trading centre freely into Suna?”

C35.

“Yeah— I guess.”

Shit

“Hey! Rasa! Don’t——“

And with that Rasa popped open the lid of the bunker and flew out. On his gold sand. Fast as he could. Straight for the Yellow Flash. Straight until he was close enough for Minato to sense him, turn his way, and meet his eye.

A shower of marked kunai clashed against a wave of gold. Rasa brought him and his gold sand higher and higher. Just out of reach. Just far enough never to be marked himself. But Minato appeared in place of one of the daggers. Shot another one up in the air. Higher. Higher still.  There is enough of an opening for Rasa to duck down under. Gold projectiles sent flying towards Minato. Molding itself into sharpened edges mid flight.

Minato’s eyes were on him. Evaded the attacks, and they were unto a chase. Good. Stay away from that village. Stay away from Suna. Rasa was still just a breath out of reach. He might not have survived this long had he not been a long distance fighter. Had he not planted a little bit of gold dust wherever he went across the desert.

Come and get me.

Further and further into the desert. Just out of range.

See, the Konoha shinobi always fall for this trap and they almost always never learn. A Suna shinobi will engage. Will be overwhelmed by the enemy forces. Will be forced to make a tactical retreat— with their enemies at their heels. Often, they are led into a narrow path, where puppeteers are hiding in the rocky terrain. Waiting for an ambush.

Except, if the one at your heels is someone who has no problem taking down people in a narrow terrain. There’s just too much surface for Minato to mark. Too much places for this one to hide. But Rasa knew that. Rasa knew exactly where he was leading Minato.

Rasa moved on his gold sand forward— then abruptly back. A wall in front of Minato. But the other shinobi simply used it to kick off into a higher ground. Another wall of gold forming behind them. Rasa rising into the air. Another wall to the left. One to the right. The pyramid forming— racing against Minato’s steps. Rasa clenched his fist, ready to crush the Konoha shinobi.

But with a single marked kunai thrown into the air. At the very last step, just as the gold dust enveloped Minato. He teleported out.

“Heh, almost had me there, Rasa,” he stood triumphant atop the pyramid. A second to catch his breath.

“You’re definitely right where I want you.”

Minato’s victory was short lived. A shadow loomed over them both. He turned around and was face to face with an approaching dust storm. When he looked back to where Rasa was, the man was already diving down on his gold sand as fast as possible. Down to an underground bunker he could take shelter in.

It all happened too quickly. The gold dust pushing away the sand just enough for the door to reveal itself. A stab in the shoulder blade. Then he was shrouded in darkness.

A blade against his throat.

“I hate your kunai,” Rasa hissed.

“I hate Suna’s sandstorms,” Minato tried to move away— only to hit his head on the back of the bunker. “Not a lot of room here.”

“You’re taking up all the space. And the air. Why don’t you teleport back home? Better luck on that assassination attempt next time.”

It was hard to read Minato’s facial expression in the darkness that surrounded them. “Well, I’ve got a big enough fish here. Anyone from the Kazekage line would be good enough.”

Rasa didn’t say anything.

He didn’t have to. If Minato wanted to cut his head and present it back to Konoha, he would have done so by now. Konoha’s Yellow Flash has no more room to manoeuvre.

That’s when Rasa felt a hand on his chest— then higher. /Looking for flesh to mark./ A panic. Flung gold sand and all its sharp edges in front of him. Only to spin away. Light in front of him. Blue light, spinning in Minato’s hand. Too close for comfort.

Then, Minato spoke. “Rasa, this war has to end.”

I know. The gods know I’m tired of sending good shinobi to die on the battle field every day.

Minato lowered his hand down. The electric blue fading smaller and smaller until they were once again enveloped in darkness and silence.

“I don’t know,” Rasa confessed, “I don’t know how to make that happen.”

“But I know it won’t happen here,” Minato leaned back. A dull thud of his head hitting the metal end of the bunker resounded. “Ow!” Rasa had to laugh at that. He could hear Minato adjusting himself, finding a good spot to sit on in the darkness. “I still have to bring something back to the Hokage though. Proof of success.”

“Oh, that was your idea to use a marked trader’s cart to get your seals into Suna?”

“Thought I could make it happen. One life to end the war. Otherwise, Hiruzen-sama would have us slaughtering people bit by bit.”

“What? Are nightmares haunting you now, Namikaze?”

A beat.

They both know the answer to that.

“One death,” Rasa sighed. “One death to end a war. Perhaps… if Konoha and Suna had a mutual enemy.” Which they did—- Iwagakure. “Our Kazekage might be convinced to provide a certain amount of intel.”

“And we get to be the executioners?”

“Iwa is at your door,” Rasa pointed out. “They have invaded Kusagakure. It will only be a matter of time until Amegakure falls into their hands as well. We all know how that will pan out if they inch closer to Hi no Kuni.”

“And Sunagakure will…”

“We might be able to help spread their forces thin.” They are Kaze no Kuni’s northern border. “The old fence sitter is more likely to defend the Konoha front.” Rasa shrugged, “Look, if you go into Sunagakure. We will lose men to you. You will lose men to ours as well as to the desert. And you’ll still have Iwa at your tail.”

Minato shifted his weight, "I need assurance."

x.X.x

Rasa trudged onwards, back towards Sunagakure. The heat of the sun on his back. But there was something else that burned on him. A fleshly executed seal right on his chest. It weight just as heavy on him, as the small sharp bit of gold now resting on Namikaze Minato’s chest—- millimetres from the man’s beating heart.

What? Did you expect them to just shake hands on it and just trust that they were talking to good men? Perhaps, in another life. Perhaps, under better circumstances.

But for now— they were two lives on a scale.

To aim for one death. One death to end a war.

[kuriquinn]

Telanadas [2/19]

Cover Page & Disclaimer:

first chapter

Sakura’s resolve to press on only lasts a half hour, if only because Nature makes a more convincing argument than Comfort. Darkness falls sooner than expected, and they are forced to find shelter.

As the winds grow strong enough to press the travellers up against the sharp, icy façade of the mountain, Sasuke spots a cave almost obscured by rock and snow. Even luckier, it is large enough that all four of them can fit comfortably inside without infringing on each other’s personal space. Having had to sleep crowded against Naruto on at least two occasions lately and subjected to his kicking, Sasuke is more than relieved about this.

Once inside, Kakashi uses his magic to erect a barrier of fire, offering both protection from enemies and the frigid gusts of wind. As the blood flows back into Sasuke’s fingers and toes, the mage conjures a small fire. Meanwhile, Sakura takes on the undesirable job of fashioning a small latrine at the back of the cave.

“That’s all we need is for one of you to wander out to take a crap and fall off the side of a mountain,” she says cheerfully.

Sasuke doubts any of them will make use of such a thing unless they are snowed in here for days. Then again, dwarves and humans have such odd notions of hygiene and propriety he cannot be entirely sure.

While Sasuke lays out their gear and armour to dry near the fire, Naruto digs about in their supplies to put together a warm meal.

Though meal is being polite, Sasuke thinks with a grimace.

“I do not understand how you people can eat this,” he mutters, the complaint escaping him before he can stop it. He was taught to consider food no more than fuel, but after weeks of the same paltry fare he has lost patience. “Do I even want to know what it is?”

“I think it was lamb at some point,” Sakura says, accepting the makeshift bowl of tasteless noodles and jerky from the human. “But the texture…isn’t one I’d normally associate with lamb.”

“Beggars cannot be choosers,” Kakashi replies mildly, shrugging one shoulder.

“What are you guys talking about?” Naruto asks, slurping down his share. “This is so much better than that frilly stuff we had back at the castle! I hate food I can’t pronounce. And this stuff never goes bad. I bet if we packed it away, it’d still be good to eat fifty years from now!”

Sasuke stares at him in disgust. “I cannot even tell if you are joking or not.”

“He is not,” Kakashi confirms, examining what is left of their rations. “I am rather sure these are from supply caches that have not been opened since the Storm Age. They were old before I stole them from the Circle of Magi.”

“And…I’m done,” Sakura says, offering her still-full bowl to Naruto, who cheers and adds the share to his own. Sasuke is tempted to do the same, but as it might be construed as a kindness to the human, he refrains. “What about you, Sasuke-kun? You didn’t eat like this where you grew up, right?”

As always, she is trying to find out more about him.

“No.” He intends to leave it at that, but when she gazes up at him beseechingly, a follow-up question clearly on her lips, he elaborates: “Simple fare. Bread made from seeds. Milk from our halla. Vegetables.”

He tries not to lick his lips at the mere thought of tomatoes. It has been so long since they had a decent meal.

“Halla?” Sakura repeats, confused. “Is that a kind of animal in Oto?”

Sasuke tenses, realising his unconscious slip.

“Not necessarily Oto,” Kakashi answers for him, eyes widening in understanding. “Halla are creatures like horned stags. The Dalish consider them to be noble companions.” He raises an eyebrow. “I had wondered about the markings on your face, Sasuke. They resemble none of the tattoos that the House of Crows use…but I have never seen that particular vallaslin before, either.”

“Dalish?” Naruto asks Sasuke in slack-jawed awe. “Wow, really? Arl Hiruzen used to talk about the Dalish, but I’ve never actually met one before!”

“Your powers of observation are worse than I thought, as you have been travelling with one for weeks now,” Sasuke bites out.

“Oi!”

“What’s vallaslin?” Sakura asks quickly, obviously attempting to curtail an argument.

Sasuke shrugs noncommittally, not wanting to explain.

“It translates to ‘blood writing’, if memory serves,” Kakashi says in his place. “A sign of adulthood, and adherence to the beliefs and traditions of the Dalish. It is surprising that one who submitted to the ritual would then be found working as an assassin for the House of Crows.”

“Chains of a past that no longer exists,” Sasuke interrupts. “I am going to sleep. It has been a long day.”

He turns away from the fire, a clear message that he has no intention of answering any questions or pursuing the discussion further.

He can feel Sakura’s eyes on him, but after a short pause, she suddenly says, “Well, that still sounds a lot better than what happened to me. I got this—” He imagines she is pointing at the rhombus shaped brand on her forehead, “—just for being born in the wrong place.”

“Heh. I understand what that’s like,” Naruto snorts.

“Maybe. Except as far as I know, Konoha doesn’t brand a newborn with a hot poker just because his parents were unwed.”

“What? No way!”

“Uh-huh. The minute a casteless dwarf is born, we get marked, so there’s no way to mistake who we are if the nobles catch us lurking in the richer quarters. Also, it makes it way easier for Carta recruiters to decide which kids they can press-gang into doing their dirty work.”

“Carta—the dwarven crime syndicate?” Kakashi questions, sounding surprised.

Back still turned in a pretence of sleep, Sasuke frowns. He does not find that surprising at all. It certainly explains her occasionally mercenary attitude and her talent for surviving insurmountable odds. The Carta offers about as friendly an upbringing as the Crows do.

“They’re the ones who smuggled lyrium to the Templars,” Naruto whispers, a little uncomfortable. No doubt he had comrades who suffered from that particular addiction. “You were one of them?”

“There wasn’t much choice,” she replies, unembarrassed. “Since the most respectable job for a casteless dwarf is sweeping the streets, and there’s only a few people who even get that job. It’s either work for the Carta or become a noble hunter. And I’d starve to death begging before I got on my back for some jacked-up noble because I might bear him a son.” She sounds abruptly fierce just then. “No disrespect to the women I grew up with who did that—there’d be no dwarves left down there if there were no noble hunters. But I won’t sell my heart for the small chance of pretty clothes and jewels.”

Sasuke snorts at this.

There is that naivety again.

“It seems we are talking too loudly and disturbing the elf’s sleep,” Kakashi remarks wryly, but Sasuke refuses to reply. It is enough that he has been forced by close quarters to listen to this.

Sakura is not so easily fooled; though she does not speak to him, her next words are pointed.

“People should be allowed to love one another without reprisal. Without duty or society or anyone else’s agenda getting in the way,” Sakura says, and her tone has lost all the levity he would normally associate with it. She only sounds like that when defending a cause that she considers worthy.

 “You’re right,” Naruto says quickly. “The world would be a much nicer place if that were true.”

“Perhaps some places,” Kakashi says carefully. “Circles of the Magi, for one. But for the good of the many, sometimes the desires of the few need to be set aside. Many a peace accord may never have happened if the belligerents in a conflict did not seal it with a marriage. And our world may have looked much different.”

“Maybe up here on the surface,” Sakura says. “Back in Iwa they’re so obsessed with blood purity that soon there won’t be anyone left to marry, diplomatic or not. If people could choose…if people could choose, Iwa might not be falling into the dust.”

There is sadness and anger in her tone, coupled with the sudden shifting of her body.

“Anyhow. It’s not like any of this matters here and now,” she goes on, and her tone is such an abrupt shift to cheeriness that Sasuke knows it is fake. “We just have to get to that temple and find those ashes to help Arl Hiruzen.”

“That is assuming they do exist,” Kakashi says reasonably. “This ‘Urn of Sacred Ashes’ could be nothing more than a rumour. Or a hoax.”

“You couldn’t have said something before we climbed half a mountain to get here?” Sakura jokes lightly. “Shannaro…”

“No, it’s real,” Naruto insists, faithful Templar even now. “Just wait, we’ll get those ashes back to him and he’ll be kicking down Danzō’s door in no time—believe it!”

The dwarf is not the only naïve one.

“I’m sure you’re right, Naruto,” Sakura says warmly. “But in order to get up there, we need to be at full strength. Which means sleep. I can take first watch if you want.”

“No, you’ve been pushing yourself pretty hard the last few days, Sakura. Take a break. Kakashi and I can keep a lookout since someone’s being a lazy arse.”

The recipient of the barb rolls his eyes.

“Naruto,” Sakura warns.

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Go on, Sakura, he is right. You are no good to your cause if you pass out and freeze to death in the snow,” Kakashi coaxes.

“Hah! Like I’d let that happen!” Naruto scoffs.

“Well, thank you guys. I guess I can take an hour—but I will take second watch at least.”

That is what you think, Sasuke decides.

Annoying as the humans are, they are correct. Sakura is no good to them dead from exhaustion. Especially since Sasuke has thrown his lot in with her, he intends to keep her alive until he figures her out.

It should not be an issue to take the next watch.

There is a sound of shifting armour and the rustling of a camp bed, and he imagines Sakura has indeed turned in for the night. Kakashi and Naruto murmur to each other quietly, not wanting to disturb her; Sasuke is not so lucky, his ears picking up even the quietest whispers.

“I’m actually just as tired,” Naruto groans. “I’ll play you for first watch, if you promise not to cheat.”

“No, you go ahead and sleep. I’ll stay up and read for a little.”

“Ugh…just make sure you ‘read’ far away from my blanket.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. You mages are all perverts…”

Sasuke silently agrees.

After that, everything goes quiet (or as quiet as they can with Naruto’s snores). Sasuke allows himself to sink into a light sleep for a few hours, but when his ears pick up on Kakashi shifting in discomfort, he rouses himself. The older man has an odd propensity to take longer watches than he ought, to let everyone else rest. This makes no sense considering Sasuke does not need as much sleep as anyone else in the party. Sakura would say it is because Kakashi is an old mother hen at heart, but Sasuke is not sure. He does not trust humans, and mages even less, even when they do not wear masks to cover all but the eyes, the way Kakashi does.

With a stretch, Sasuke climbs out of his bedroll. He heads for the mouth of the cave to take a piss, then goes to sit beside the mage.

“I will take the watch until morning,” he murmurs. “You people are no use to me dead on your feet.”

“I sense there was concern in there somewhere behind all the stoic,” Kakashi remarks.

“Tch.”

“I’m serious, Sasuke. You are so tightly wound, it cannot be good for you. You know what would do you some good?”

“I suspect you are about to tell me.”

“If you went out some time, found a girl, and did naughty things with her that did not involve trousers,” the mage continues as if he hasn’t heard him. “If you are in the market, I know of at least one who is definitely interested.”

The way his eyes slide toward where Sakura is sleeping, albeit fitfully, leaves no question to whom he is referring.

“Len’alas lath’din,” Sasuke grumbles, turning away in contempt.

“Now, now, that is not very polite,” the mage says, more amused than offended. And it should not surprise Sasuke that the older man knows Elvish, especially given his remarks earlier about blood writing. No doubt he has read about it in his studies, locked away in one of those shemlen towers.

He honestly has no intention of replying, but Kakashi continues to look more amused than he should. It reminds Sasuke a little of the teasing his cousin Shisui used to subject him to, and now, as then, his pride does not allow him to let it go.

“What makes you think I have not already?” he hedges.

Kakashi chuckles. “I can smell purity a mile away. It is a talent.”

“That proves to be useful, I am sure.”

“Not that often, as it turns out. It would be much better if I could sense Templars. It might make them easier to avoid.”

Sasuke snorts. “You have my deepest condolences.”

“Heh. Likewise.” Kakashi puts away his well-worn, orange-covered book. “And so does she.”

The comment has Sasuke puzzling over it longer than he will admit.

When he gets it, he wonders if it is too late to hit the older man.

Translations:

Halla – type of horned stag, used by the Dalish to pull their landships

Vallaslin – intricate facial tattoos worn by adult clan members of the Dalish elf tribes

Arl – feudal title; rules over an arling

Lyrium – valuable mineral/material whose consumption can strengthen a mage and boost their mana

Len’alas lath’din - dirty child no one loves; Dalish insult

Comments and concrit are much appreciated, and very motivating! For information about supporting my original, non-fandom related works, you’re welcome to check out my ko-fi tip jar, or my patreon page. 

栗

Next Chapter

[rinneganwritings]

Never Far Away; Chapter Two: Between the Lines

Word Count: 3,324

Summary: Yumiko returns home from a mission hoping for a nice day off.

Warnings: None

Chapter One

All Yumiko wants to do is get back to her house and fall into her bed. The mission she’d been sent on by the Hokage wasn’t difficult by any means, but it had been long. The young woman was the niece of a feudal lord from The Land of Wind. She was supposed to be a diplomat, but Yumiko got the feeling the girl was more interested in meeting boys than anything else. Still, her safety was a high priority. A fact that Yumiko was rudely reminded of when a group of thieves attacked them. Yumiko had to fight them off by herself, since the diplomat’s personal guards proved to be useless. She wasn’t seriously hurt, but her ribs did feel a little bruised from one of them managing to land a pretty strong kick.

The gates of Konoha come into view. Relief washes over her. Coming home after a long mission always has such a strong calming effect on her. She feels her shoulders relax as she walks through them. The streets were already filled with life. Children too young to be at the academy were running around playing. The markets were already filling up. In the distance, she hears someone yelling at Naruto. She smiles to herself and makes a mental note to get all the details from him about all the mischief he got into when she was gone.

She passes the street where her house is, which sends a pang of longing in her aching muscles. The Hokage would need his briefing before she could rest so she heads towards his office. Luckily, it wouldn’t take all that long.

When she gets there, he’s already waiting for her. Danzo ushers her inside his office. The man gives her a strange look that makes her uncomfortable. It’s the same scrutinizing look he always gives her when they’re in the same room. Hiruzen is sitting behind his desk looking over paperwork. She bows as she enters the room, then kneels in front of him.

“Good to see you’ve made it back,” he says. “I trust there wasn’t too much trouble?”

“I had to dispose of a group of thieves who attempted to rob the Feudal Lord’s niece,” Yumiko sighs as she remembers the whole exchange again. The Feudal Lord’s niece had spent the whole time crying, then spent the rest of the trip gripping onto Yumiko’s arm. “Other than that, no problems.”

“Very good, Yumiko,” Hiruzen signs off on the report she’d given him before dismissing her. “Get some much-needed rest.”

Yumiko bows before leaving the office. She’s relieved he didn’t have many questions for her. Then again, there wasn’t much to say about the mission. Overall it had gone exactly as expected.

She wonders as she walks back onto the street if Iruka has gotten word of her being home yet. She gets the answer when she arrives at her house to find him sitting on her porch. Iruka flashes her a bright smile as he stands to meet her halfway up the path. Without hesitation, he wraps her up in a hug. She winces slightly but returns the affection anyway.

“Don’t you have students?” she asks as they step away to look each other over. His eyebrows furrow when he realizes she’s wrapped her midsection.

“I released them early when I figured out you got home,” he eyes the bandages. “Do you need to get looked over?”

She shrugs, “They’re just bruised.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Yumiko…”

“Listen, I’ve had bruised ribs tons of times. I know exactly what they feel like.”

This doesn’t seem to put him any more at ease, but he drops the subject anyway. Instead, he follows her into her house, kicking off his sandals on the way.

“Can you start some tea while I take a shower?” she asks him as she drops her bags in the entryway.

“Of course.”

As she strolls down the hallway, she frowns at the distinct lack of Tamako. Usually this time of day the house smells of the perfume she’d put on that day, but there’s nothing today. She’d sent word to Tamako that she’d be coming home today, and usually, they spend time together when Yumiko gets home from a solo mission.

She tries to push her worries to the side as she goes to the bathroom and starts the shower. Maybe Tamako forgot. She had been a bit somber lately, so much so that Yumiko felt guilty for leaving. She assumes Tamako has gone off to train or something.

The warm water is soothing on her warm muscles, and it feels nice to bathe in her own shower. As she cleans herself, she wonders if Tamako missed her arrival on purpose. Maybe she was still mad about Yumiko leaving to start with. They’d gotten into a fight right before she left. Tamako lamented about the possibility of them finding Itachi and getting the answers about why he’d killed his clan. It was a conversation they’d had many times before, but for some reason, it had struck a different chord in Yumiko. She’d lost her patience. Demanded that Tamako forget about Itachi. She feels a pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower.

She pulls on a pair of loose-fitting black pants and a gray sweatshirt. Iruka already has the tea set out on the kitchen table when she enters the room. She sits down across from him with a deep sigh. He pours her a cup and passes it to her.

“Did you see Tamako today?” she asks him.

“Actually, come to think of it I haven’t,” Iruka furrows his brows. “I checked up on her yesterday but I haven’t seen her since.”

Yumiko narrows her eyes at him as she thinks. A moment of concern flashes across his face, wondering if he’d done something wrong.

“I wonder if anyone else has seen her,” Yumiko says before sipping her tea.

“What’s going on?”

“Something feels off,” Yumiko wants to explain better, but she’s never been great with describing these things. She just always seems to know when something is going on with Tamako.

She goes to retrieve a pair of sandals from her closet, deciding they should go look around.

Iruka watches her slip the sandals on her feet, “Are we going somewhere?” “I just want to make sure I’m wrong about this.”

“About what?”

“I think she’s gone.”

The first place she goes is the training grounds. She finds Ezume and Akina there training, no Tamako. They run over to Yumiko when they see her. Akina hugs her and begins asking questions about the mission. However, she shushes up when she notices that Iruka is with Yumiko.

“Oh, you have Iruka-sensei with you?” she wiggles her eyebrows. Yumiko playfully pushes her.

“Have either of you seen Tamako today?” she asks, Ezume instantly pays attention to the mention of Tamako.

“I haven’t,” Akina shrugs.

“She was with Sasuke for a while yesterday,” Ezume offers.

“Okay, you two split up and go ask around,” she tells them. “Me and Iruka will head to Sasuke’s house to see if she’s there.”

“Is something wrong?” Ezume asks with concern painting his blue eyes.

“I hope not,” Yumiko sighs.

Yumiko and Iruka begin walking towards the outskirts of the village where the Uchiha clan used to live. Now only Sasuke remains. Tamako has always spent a good bit of time with Sasuke, and Yumiko has given whatever help he needs as far as being a young child being on his own. Sasuke never asked for much, but the girls always tried to be there for him anyway. Considering how much his mother did for Yumiko and Tamako after they lost their parents, Yumiko always figured it was the least they could do.

“Why would Tamako run away?” Iruka asked as they walk.

“There’s only one reason I can think of,” Yumiko shakes her head. She doesn’t want to believe this.

“Itachi,” Iruka finishes for her.

They find Sasuke sitting at the dock, looking into the water. He’s lost in thought, but the slight tilting of his head indicates he senses their presence.

“Is this why class was cut short, Iruka-sensei?”

“Have you seen Tamako today?” Yumiko asks before Iruka has a chance to say anything.

“I saw her yesterday,” he shrugs. “It’s not my job to keep up with her.”

“Sasuke, this is important. Very important,” Yumiko growls. “Did she say anything weird yesterday?”

“Tamako is always weird.”

“Damn it,” Yumiko groans. “It’s looking worse and worse by the second.”

For the first time, Sasuke softened a little, “Did something happen?”

“I don’t know. That’s what we’re trying to find out,” Iruka says, trying to keep everything calm.

“I think she’s run away,” Yumiko tells Sasuke.

Iruka groans, “Why’d you have to tell him that?”

“She’s run away?” Sasuke raises an eyebrow. “You don’t think she would try to find Itachi?”

Yumiko nods slowly, “That’s exactly what I think.”

Sasuke’s fist balls up tightly, “She wouldn’t do that. That’s stupid.”

“Sasuke, I’ll find out what’s going.”

“So Itachi has done it,” he growls. “He’s taken everyone from me.”

“It’s okay,” Iruka says. “Yumiko is gonna get to the bottom of this.”

“You couldn’t even tell she was going to run away,” Sasuke rolls his eyes.

“Listen Sasuke, I’m doing my best.”

He just looks down, refusing to make eye contact with her. Yumiko turns to leave. Iruka hesitates for a moment before following her. They meet Ezume and Akina on their way back towards the village. Both of them are wearing concerned expressions as they report the same lack of information. Yumiko has to accept that the worst may truly be what they’re dealing with now.

For the second time, she finds herself standing in the Hokage’s office. Instead of being impatient and exhausted, her nerves are now standing at attention. Her mind is struggling to come up with what to say to the Hokage about the situation. Hiruzen listens intently as she talks him through the day. He only shows any reaction when she suggests that Tamako has run off to find Itachi. He folds his hands on the desk in front of him.

“Are Ezume and Akina prepared to take on a mission like this?” he asks her.

“I believe so,” Yumiko answers.

Hiruzen sighs, “It’s been years since anyone in the village has had contact with Itachi. We can only assume he’s grown more powerful in his absence. It may be a good idea for another to add another jounin to your team. Temporarily of course.”

Already her mind is going through anyone she thinks would be willing to go. Guy is the first she thinks of. She knows he’s a bit much at times, but she also knows there’s nobody more dependable in times of crisis than Guy. They have been on missions together, and it worked. She also knows he’s busy with his own team. Kurenai would be a less potentially annoying choice. Not to mention, Yumiko is almost certain that Kurenai’s proficiency with genjutsu could come in handy.

She decides that whichever one she runs into first is who she’d recruit. Her feet are already twitching to get started. Still, etiquette dictates that she waits to be dismissed. Tamako did always hate when Yumiko disregarded the proper etiquette.

“I have some ideas about who could suit the mission,” she says.

“As do I,” the Hokage tilts his head towards her.

“Yes, of course,” she nods.

“Gather the rest of your team and be back here within the hour.”

“Yes, Lord Hokage,” she bows her head before finally standing to leave. She pushes past Danzo to get out the door.

Akina and Ezume are sitting on the edge of her front porch when she walks up. Iruka leans against one of the wooden beams beside them. As they spot her walking towards them, the two chunin jump up quickly to meet her.

“What did he say?” the two ask in almost perfect unison.

“He is allowing the two of you to join me in finding her,” she sighs. “We will have another jounin joining us.”

Iruka follows them, “Who?”

“I’m not sure yet,” she shrugs. “I’m sure whoever he chooses will be more than capable.”

“Ezume, Akina, go gather your things. Meet me at the Hokage’s office within the hour,” she dismisses them.

“You always sound so strict when you address them,” Iruka teases her as she walks past him to go into her house. “No wonder they’re afraid of you.”

She flashes him a quick glare before walking past him. He follows her into the house.

“Tamako wasn’t afraid of me,” Yumiko says absently as she walks past her sister’s room.

I’ll find you, Tamako. Like it or not. I’m coming.

Iruka leans against the door frame of her bedroom as she’s putting together yet another pack, this time for possibly the toughest mission she’s ever taken.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Iruka asks her cautiously. He knows in times like this it can be easy to push her buttons. Yumiko has never handled feeling vulnerable with much grace.

“I failed,” she says quietly.

“What do you mean?”

She sits on the bed, her golden eyes stare at him with tears brimming them. Iruka is surprised to see her crying, and he quickly moves across the room and sits beside her. His arm wraps around her shoulders, he feels her sobs shudder underneath him.

“My parents trusted me to keep her safe,” she leans forward to cup her face in her hands. “I couldn’t even do that.”

“Hey, hey,” Iruka pulls her closer to him. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

She takes a steadying breath, “You’re right. It’s not helping.”

As quickly as she’d broken down, she puts herself back together. She gives Iruka a pat on the back before standing up. It was time to get started.

Akina and Ezume are waiting outside the Hokage’s office already when Yumiko and Iruka show up. Akina is chewing anxiously on her lip while Ezume is doing his best to seem calm. They’ve always been nervous when interacting with the Hokage. Danzo opens the door to usher the group inside.

“I’m glad to see you wasted no time,” Hiruzen says to her. “As discussed I’ve already chosen the fourth member of your team. He should be arriving soon.”

Please be Guy, please be Guy.

“While we’re waiting, does your team know the situation?” Hiruzen asks

“They know Tamako has run away, and we can only assume it’s to join Itachi Uchiha,” Yumiko says. Saying the words out loud still brings a bitter taste to her mouth.

Akina lets out a surprised squeak when Kakashi Hatake appears beside her with a small puff of dust.

“You’re late,” Hiruzen lightly scolds him.

Kakashi sighs, “Sorry about that. I was, uh, helping an old lady with her groceries.”

Yumiko opens her mouth to say something, but Hiruzen begins speaking again before she can say anything.

“I believe Kakashi will be the most suited for this team. He has the most knowledge on Itachi Uchiha. Combined with your knowledge of your sister, I’m sure you will both make quick work of finding Tamako.”

“My lord, there must be someone else,” Yumiko begins. “I mean, I can think of plenty of others-”

“You defy the Hokage?” Danzo steps forward with a stern look at Yumiko.

“I’m not defying anyone,” Yumiko crosses her arms. “This is a very important mission and I-”

“The decision has been made,” Hiruzen silences her sternly.

Akina and Ezume are filled with questions. Akina begins rattling them off, forgetting herself without Tamako here to keep her in check.

“Is it true he has the sharingan? Does he really have a chin like a butt and that’s why he wears the mask?” Akina begins, Kakashi looks down at her.

He raises an eyebrow at the girl’s questions, “Do you always have such terrible manners?”

“Don’t talk to her that way,” Yumiko warns him.

The energy in the room changes. Iruka steps forward to grab Yumiko by the arm in an attempt to calm her down, but immediately pulls it away when he receives a slight shock.

Hiruzen holds up a hand to silence everyone. When the static in the air doesn’t dissipate, he slams his fist on the table. Yumiko regains her composure with a deep breath. It’s difficult, but she forces herself to smile. Like it or not, Kakashi was technically her comrade. And although she wouldn’t admit it, Hiruzen was right. Kakashi might just be the best choice. There’s likely not a better jounin in the whole village, and the thought puts a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Kakashi,” Yumiko sighs. “Are you ready to go?”

“I’m ready when you are,” he nods.

“Thank you, Lord Hokage for your cooperation. I apologize for my outburst,” she bows. Akina and Ezume follow suit. Iruka nods his approval to Yumiko as he moves to follow her out the door.

They all walk in silence towards the gates of the city. Yumiko feels uneasiness in her stomach. She sneaks a quick peek over at Kakashi walking beside her, his eyes fixed on his book as walks. Iruka stops at the gates, and she pauses as well to say goodbye. The other three members go a bit past them to give them some space.

“Be careful,” Iruka sighs.

“Of course,” she smirks. He gives her a quick hug, a weak smile on his lips when they pull away. She looks back at him over her shoulder before she and the rest of the team started down the road. He waves before going back into the village.

“So, Kakashi-sensei, are you going to be in charge now too?” Akina asks as the team begins filing out of the room.

“Not exactly,” Kakashi answers without looking at her.

“Do we have to listen to him?” Ezume asks Yumiko, eyeing Kakashi curiously.

“He is your superior,” Yumiko says quietly.

Once they get on the road, her mind is elsewhere. She tries to imagine how Tamako would move along this road. Where would she stop? Where is she going? This mission is going to be difficult enough on its own, but now she has to work with Kakashi Hatake.

Their paths crossed occasionally, but she mostly tried to avoid him. The last time she remembers even speaking to him was that night. When the Nine-Tail Fox attacked the village, they were both angry about having to stay behind while the older shinobi went to fight the fox. While everyone else seemed relieved to be far away from the action, they’d both been trying to find a way to get out to where the trouble really was.

That was the night her parents died, the death of heroes. They died for the village like so many others.

Being with Kakashi on this mission wasn’t going to make it any easier. She knows deep down that she should trust Hokage's judgment. He would never make a decision like this without an abundance of good reasoning.

The more she thinks about everything that’d transpired in just a few hours, the more frustrated she becomes. Her fists are tightly curled as they walk, and it’s only when Akina loudly clears her throat that Yumiko comes out of her thoughts.

“Yumiko-sensei, you’re doing that thing again.”

Yumiko looks down to see the yellow flashes of static energy curling between her fingers. Her skin has taken on a light yellow glow as her chakra emitted static energy in the form of a cloak. It was something she lost control of at times when she felt too strongly.

“Perhaps you need to take a minute to calm down,” Kakashi suggests.

Yumiko releases her fist, and the static energy starts disappearing from around her.

“I’m fine. Let’s keep going.”

[depressedkakashihatake]

Age swap AU! Naruto and the rest of Konoha 12 are the senseis while Kakashi and the various jounin/chunin are the students. Jiraya, Orochimaru and Tsunade are of Hiruzen's age. Kagami is still alive and he, Hiruzen and Danzou are of the Sannin's age.

Tsunade is the Hokage while Orochimaru is the one running ROOT. Danzou is the one that run away from the village while Hiruzen is the one traveling the world and Kagami will be the fifth Hokage after Tsunade, who's the Third, while Jiraya is the one who died like it happened in canon with Kagami.

Sasuke is the one who "died" during the Kannabi Bridge and Naruto is the one with the Sharingan and the one in ANBU. Sakura is the Sanbi Jinchuuriki and the best medic after Tsunade, Rin is Kushina and Minato's daughter (Minato's generation is the only one that remains the same) and also the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

The Uchiha clan still gets killed, but not completely. Mostly the adults, while everyone under Obito's age gets left alive so that the village is forced to adopt the children and let them really grow up in the village, and Kagami survives because he's not in the village when that happens.

Itachi is older than Shisui instead of the other way around and he's the one killing himself in front of Shisui because of Orochimaru and awakening his Mangekyō, and Shisui is the one doing the semi-massacre and leaving the village to join the Akatsuki.

I think (unless we want really old man dad Sakumo) that Sakumo is about the same age as Minato and Kushina (cuz that hair is distinctive. we can change other people’s families but Kakashi i refuse to see as the son of anyone but the great white fang). Sakumo perhaps died on a mission protecting his teammates, leaving Kakashi as an orphan at the young age of 1. 

So When Naruto gets team 7 he gets Kakashi (orphan since 1), Obito (Orphan since like 6 and hates his brother) and Rin (Orphan since birth). So not a single one of the people on team 7 knows what it’s like to have parents, or at least to keep them.

Obito is still relitivly a bright personality, where Kakashi is still a very straight forward but kind of goofy personality, but the diffrence is Obito does harbour that anger towards Shisui that make’s him want to kill him. He tries not to let it eat him alive, but it sort of does just without it being seen. Naruto sort of see’s it where others don’t, so he’s always trying to keep Obito on track and out of the darkness.

It...does not work. but we’ll get to that.

When Team 7 is formed it’s pretty much the same as Team Minato, major difference being that Rin is the Jinjuuriki for the nine tails. So Rin, Kakashi and Obito are all destined to be power houses. They’re all either extreamly skilled, or they will have the skills honed inside of them over the years. One way or another they will all take names and kick ass.

At first the team is...less than stellar. Kakashi is a genius and he rises through the ranks pretty quick, Obito is trying to get stronger and he’s getting there but he has so much anger towards Shisui that holds him back, and Rin is always trying to prove herself and control the Jinjuuriki (cuz Tsunade tells her. She make’s sure Rin knowns what tf she is dealing with)

Naruto focuses the most on Obito because of their matching personalities, but he doesn’t forget about Rin and Kakashi (like my depressed boy sometimes forgets about Naruto and Sakura). Noticing Rin’s really great chakra control and the fact that she is a Jinjuuriki, he sets her up with Sakura for extra training. For Kakashi, he tries a variety of other teachers but Kakashi doesn’t really do well with any of them. Shikamaru can help him improve his tacticle prowess, but Kakashi refuses to work with someone who would rather watch the clouds. Kiba is a no go for Kakashi and he bites the poor bastard to make that clear, and Ino just about punches Kakashi through a wall for being a snide little shit. Fidning Kakashi a teacher is hard.

Obito (like Sasuke) activates his sharingan during the mission against Zabuza. Except he’s protecting Rin doing it, while Kakashi is fighting Zabuza with Naruto (like Sakura could have done if Kishi cared about his female characters). 

During the chunin exams, Naruto’s team is the only one where all of them go ahead into the second round. Rin beats Asuma to head into the semi finals, Kakashi beats a Sand Shinobi, and Obito beats Ebisu. 

Naruto teaches Obito the Rasangan (which he learned from his sensei Minato) to use against the Sand shinobi that he will be facing in the semi finals, Baki (who is the jinjuuriki for suna). Rin is meant to face off against Kurenai and Kakashi is set to face off against Gai. 

After the chunnin exams and the attack on Konoha (in which Tsunade is put into acoma after having to fight her father (age so she’s hashirama’s daughter now lol) and uncle) Rin leaves with Sakura to go search for the new hokage that they have decided on, Kagami. Kagami reluctantly agrees and says he will find a good fifth hokage as soon as possible. 

Afterwards, Team 7 tries to continue on (Kakashi, Rin, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai and Genma all get promoted to chunin, though Kakashi is a clear favorite as a tactical leader) Obito ends up getting approached by Danzo to become stronger so that he can face his brother Shisui. Obito ends up taking up the offer and getting taken in much the same way as Sasuke was, except the one’s who go after him are Rin, Kurenai, Asuma, Genma, Ebisu and Gai to face off against the last of the sound five. Kakashi is off on his first solo mission during this time. 

Rin and Obito end up facing down (like sasuke and naruto did) and Rin ends up passing out after ending up with two tails worth of power. Kakashi is still the one to find them and carry Rin back, but he didn’t get there in time to stop Obito. 

[jouissezduprintemps]

Those Damned Books

Rating: T Words: 3334 Fandom: Naruto Summary: Kakashi realizes that his apartment isn’t big enough. Tenzo does his best to remain the responsible one. Kakashi ANBU era. KakaYama.

Tenzo’s breathing was soft an even, his lips parted ever so slightly in his sleep. The way he positioned his body, at first, made Kakashi wonder if he was feigning it. His kouhai lay on his side, knees bent in a fetal position, with one arm draped over his torso and the other bent so that his hand rested beside his face on the pillow. Kakashi had waited long enough to realize that this was, in fact, how Tenzo slept. For whatever reason, he hadn’t noticed it before now. Rather, he didn’t care to notice. It amused Kakashi to no end, comfortable as he was when splayed out in all directions when he slept alone.

As he lay sandwiched between the wall and the warm body next to him, he reflected that, now, he really needed to get a new bed. It was one thing for his legs to hang off while he slept; after last night, there was the added challenge of not kicking Tenzo to the floor when his vivid dreams took him. But, a new bed meant less space in a flat he’d already filled. Maybe it was time to move. He was twenty after all, an age considered by almost everyone that qualified him as an ‘adult.’ It couldn’t hurt to find a place that had more than six walls, if he counted the two that separated the bathroom from the rest of his home. Hadn’t his landlady mentioned an opening?

After their fight, when Kakashi had finally come down from his traumatic reaction, Tenzo refused to leave him alone. Too tired to argue anymore, Kakashi relented and allowed him to stay. He winced at the memory, regretting what was said and how he’d spiraled into those parts of himself he didn’t want Tenzo to see. Hopefully, his kouhai wouldn’t ask about it when he woke. Doing his best not to jostle the bed, Kakashi was all kneecaps and elbows as he flipped himself over onto his stomach, falling into a comfortable position. He froze for several seconds to make sure Tenzo was still asleep before reaching up to the shelf on his headboard, pulling down his most recent copy of Icha Icha.  

He bent the covers back to loosen the spine, and the pages made that satisfying crinkling sound that each new book gets only once. Bookworm that he was, it was one of Kakashi’s favorite things. It was better than sex. Well… almost. Eagerly, he opened the cover to the title page, taking a moment to read the short inscription that prefaced each volume he owned. In scratchy handwriting below the printed title read:

To Kakashi~

Now that you’re over eighteen, the old man won’t be able to confiscate this package! (Though, you always seem to find a way around that one. Your sensei and I are so proud.) Enjoy, but not too much. Make sure you actually get outside and talk to some real, live girls every now and again, eh?

Until the next volume

xJiraiya

Kakashi smiled as he deciphered the characters, which was a challenge with how Jiraiya wrote. He bit back a chuckle, wondering if Lord Hiruzen had tried to get his hands on this volume. For a Hokage, old man Sarutobi was terrible at hiding things. As he got older, Kakashi wondered if he had been hiding the other volumes at all, or if he was making a show of it to cover his backside. He turned the crisp page, full of excitement now that he could see the conclusion to the cliffhanger last volume tortured him with – and for three years, at that!

He allowed himself the luxury of reading through the first chapter, which was a denouement from the previous book’s closing chapter. It was probably a trick to sell more copies, but Jiraiya loved leaving the books just before the best part. Curiosity sated, he took the page between his fingers, intent on beginning the second chapter. A knock on his front door had him, regretfully, dog-earing the first page in this volume. It was inevitable that almost all of them would suffer the same fate at one point or another, but there was just something so melancholy about marking the first one.

The volume found its place back on the shelf as the knock sounded again. “’Comin!” Kakashi called, stumbling over Tenzo gracelessly. As he slipped, he took the man down with him, tangling them both in a pile of sheets and limbs that landed with a dull thud that only a human body could make.

“Are you okay?” The knocking became insistent. “Kakashi-taichou!”

Disoriented and sleepy as he was, Tenzo was the first to recognize the voice. “Yugao!” he hissed.

Kakashi swung his arms frantically, gesturing to the other side of his apartment. “Bathroom!”

Tenzo ran as quickly and quietly as he could to the one room of Kakashi’s flat that wasn’t part of his ridiculous open-floor plan. To his dismay, Kakashi realized he was dressed only in his boxers. Shit, he couldn’t keep Yugao waiting any longer if he didn’t want her to think something was wrong. Hastily, he took his blanket and wrapped it around himself like a cloak, clumsily holding the edge to his face in lieu of his mask.

When he cracked his front door, Yugao had her fist raised to knock again. Awkwardly, she lowered it. “Kakashi-taichou, you scheduled training for the new recruits for over an hour ago.” She studied him with suspicion, eyes inquiring about his fashion choice.

Fuck, that was today. Well, it wasn’t like he was never late. He’d gotten over that eccentricity after Obito. His team should know by now to proceed as instructed without him when it came to training. “Right. Yeah, I’ll be right there. I just overslept.”

“Please hurry.” She turned to leave, but stopped to look over her shoulder. “And Taichou, remind Tenzo if you see him. We sent Itachi-kun to his apartment, but it was empty.” Beneath her words ran the message because he’s the reliable one, and we’re actually worried.

Kakashi waited until she teleported before closing the door. He slumped with his back against it, letting out a sigh of relief. “Fuck, that was close.”

“Too close,” Tenzo agreed. “It’s lucky she didn’t think to look for chakra signatures.”

“She had no reason to.” Kakashi shrugged. He picked his pants up from where he’d tossed his dirty clothes in a pile the night before.

“Guess not.” Tenzo pulled his undershirt down over his head, puzzled at the strange tightness across his torso. Once he pulled it down, the excess fabric at the neck showed him his error. “Nope, yours.”

“Trade.” Kakashi tossed him the proper shirt before Tenzo removed his, passing it over. It would have been amusing if they weren’t so late, and if that mistake wouldn’t have been serious among their teammates.

“What’s our cover?” Tenzo asked as he tightened the straps on his armor.

“I don’t need one. They’re used to it by now. Yugao will probably tell them I overslept or something.”

“Well, what about me?”

“Yeah, that’s tough… I don’t know, you were doing something good. Being helpful. Carrying groceries for an old woman? Getting a cat out of a tree?”

“Are you mocking me?”

“You don’t understand. Obito was late every single day, and it was because of crap like that.”

Tenzo was surprised to hear Kakashi speak so casually about his friend. Even Kakashi seemed caught off guard by the way his visible eye widened. Trying not to make a big deal out of what he considered an essential step of the grieving process, Tenzo broke the silence. “Cat out of a tree it is.”

“Right. Um, I’ll go out through the window, and you… wait, I don’t know, thirty seconds then phase through the door?”

“Done.” Tenzo watched as Kakashi climbed out his window before disappearing in a silver flash. Thoughtfully, he picked up the discarded blanket and took a moment to make the bed, unable to leave it in disarray. He’d be preoccupied with it all day, otherwise. Cat mask in hand, he activated his jutsu before walking through the locked door like it was made of water.

In an instant, he was on the training grounds, only a few feet behind Yugao. He jogged forward, informing her, “Sorry I’m late.”

“Everything okay? You’re never late.”

“Tsuki-chan’s kitten got stuck in one of the big oaks. It’s so small, I didn’t think it could get down itself.”

“You’re a bleeding heart.” Yugao looked in front of them, where young ninja were sparring, two-on-two. “I had to send a few home, already. Nothing special, a call you or Kakashi-taichou would’ve made.”

“I trust you,” Tenzo affirmed. “He’s running behind again, is he?”

“After I sent Itachi to find you, and he came back empty-handed, I went to find him myself. The state he was in, we’ll be lucky to see him at all. At least you’re here, now. We can finally get things going.”

Securing his mask over his face, Tenzo stepped forward and gave a sharp whistle, at which the sparring came to an immediate halt. “Switch from taijutsu to ninjutsu!”

“Sir!” chorused the recruits before turning back to their opponents.

Tenzo sensed an abnormal surge of chakra behind him, and he turned on his heel to face the potential threat. To his surprise, Lord Hiruzen was looking on, studying the recruits as they fought.

“Lord Hokage!” Tenzo lowered into a bow, which Yugao followed not a second later.

Hiruzen waved his hand lazily. “Relax. I just came to see what the new group was like.” His brow creased when he realized that there were only two agents in front of him. “Where’s Kakashi?”

“He should be on his way here shortly, my lord,” Yugao assured the hokage.

Hurizen pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I’m going to ban those damned books from this village.”

“Books, my lord?” Tenzo inquired.

“Jiraiya’s drivel he’s peddling as romance novels. They’ve caused me nothing but trouble, much like their author…” He frowned. “Every time he publishes a new one, like clockwork, he sends a copy to Kakashi. Really, these are jonin-level ninja we’re talking about. The next time-” Aware that he was rambling, he shook his head, dismissing his train of thought. “But that’s why you’re here, Tenzo. You know, Team Kai needs a new captain.”

“I’m honored, sir, but I think it’s pretty clear that I’m needed on Team Ro.”

Unable to argue with his logic, the hokage shrugged. “It’s open if you change your mind.” Turning his attention back to the recruits, he mumbled, “I think Uchiha is the last one we’ll be getting out of this year’s batch. Keep them going for now, for appearances. Give them one more practice before sending them home.”

“Yes, sir.” Tenzo bowed once more. While an unfortunate turn of events for the recruits, it wasn’t uncommon in the slightest. The ANBU were the best of the best. Any ninja who fell outside the top one percent wasn’t worth the armor they’d wear. It was a sad, somewhat cynical fact that most of these ninja would be buried in their uniform just the moment after they put it on. He watched Hiruzen walk down the road. Yugao waited until the hokage was out of earshot before speaking up.

“That’s disappointing. Predictable, but still.”

“We were able to get a handful this time around, which is better than usual. There’s nothing we can do; Lord Hokage’s veto makes it a done deal.” Tenzo cracked his knuckles. “Itachi’s already proven to be more of an asset than Kakashi-senpai thought.”

“Yeah, I guess we didn’t need him, after all.” Yugao was clearly annoyed that she ran across the village for nothing. “Really, those books can’t be that interesting.”

“I can lend them to you if you’re curious.” Kakashi’s voice spoke from behind. Yugao and Tenzo jumped, spinning to face their captain. Sure enough, his nose was in his latest volume, and he raised his hand in a wordless greeting. “The plot is really compelling.”

Yugao snorted. “Sure.”

“Lord Hokage told us to send these recruits home at the end of the day,” Tenzo informed his superior, trying to be businesslike. “He’s not accepting any of them.”

“Why the end of the day? We can just send them home now.” Kakashi peered over the top of his book.

“He wants to keep up appearances.”

“Oh, for god’s sake.” Kakashi closed his book with a snap and strode forward, whistling far more loudly and sharply than Tenzo had done. Once he was sure he had everyone’s attention, he declared. “None of you made it. Go home.”

Amidst displeased grumblings and several swears, the recruits began to disperse when they realized the ANBU agent was serious. “Kakashi-senpai,” Tenzo began in a scolding tone.

“What? It’s a waste of their time, and it’s a waste of ours. I came all the way out here just to tell these guys that they didn’t make the cut. If Lord Hiruzen gets angry, it’s all on me, okay?” In a fluid motion, he re-opened his book, sticking his free hand in his pocket.

Yugao and Tenzo looked at one another, a silent exchange passing between them before Yugao vanished. She saw no reason to stay, after all. Tenzo began to form a series of hand signs when Kakashi glanced up at him. “I need a second set of hands later. Think you can come by in a couple hours?”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Tenzo agreed, puzzled by his request. If Kakashi actually asked for help, he needed it. That wasn’t his way of using double entendre, and there was nothing in his body language to suggest it should be taken that way.

“Great.” He smiled, and, with a slight wave, Kakashi started walking in the direction of his home.

The sun had reached its peak when Tenzo, freshly showered and in a new set of civilian clothes, trudged up the steps to Kakashi’s apartment. The front door was propped open, which made him instantly suspicious. The ruckus from inside told him Kakashi wasn’t alone.

“It’ll be fine!” Guy’s booming voice said in assurance.

“I know you can lift it. It’s the cardboard that’s the problem.” He could practically hear Kakashi rolling his eyes.

“I know a thing or two about structural integrity.”

As Tenzo climbed the last step, he was able to see Guy standing in front of the bookshelf, piling paperbacks into a cardboard box. He stepped over the threshold and caught sight of Kakashi in his kitchen. He was barefoot, standing precariously on the countertop as he retrieved something Tenzo couldn’t see from on top of the cabinet. He looked over his shoulder at Tenzo, but, with both hands occupied, he had to settle for a verbal greeting. “Yo. Thanks for coming.”

“What’s going on?” Tenzo asked with caution.

“I’m moving. I thought I told you.”

“What? When did this happen?”

“Hmm, three, four hours ago?” Sensing his confusion, Kakashi explained, “My landlady owns the whole building, and there’s this family on the first floor that just moved out. You know, to get a house. It’s a little more expensive, but hey, I won’t be getting letters every month complaining that I exceed maximum capacity by roughly ten every couple of weeks.”

“Just start packing boxes,” Guy declared. “Don’t worry about what goes where. He’ll have it unpacked tomorrow morning, I’m sure.” Bandaged hands reached down and lifted the cardboard box, which he balanced on his shoulder to keep from tearing at the bottom. “Down to 105!” After informing Tenzo of the new location, he strode out the door to deposit the box.

Tenzo took advantage of his absence to say, “Kakashi, you can’t just make decisions like that.”

“Why not?” Kakshi asked as his feet touched back down on the floor. “I need more space, the apartment’s vacant, and I don’t have to go looking.”

“Because it takes more than three hours to decide whether or not to move. It’s a big decision.”

“Not for me. Actually, I think it would be nice to have a real bedroom, with a bed I fit on. Maybe I can use the kitchen now. Or, I could have the guys over and keep them in one room. Think about it, one room. I won’t have to clean the entire place.” He smiled, his eyes turning into crescents. “C’mon, Tenzo. 200 square feet to 400.”

Tenzo looked around the cramped apartment, which was, truly, not big enough for even one person to live in. “I mean, as long as you’ve thought it out.”

“I have. It would be suicide to bring a new mattress in here, and the one I have just isn’t cutting it.”

Before Tenzo could comment, Guy returned, flashing them a thumbs-up. “Told you I had it.”

“Yeah, you did, Guy.” Kakashi gave a placating grin. “Do me a favor and grab the bookcase next, would you? I’ll feel better once they’re back in place.”

“You know your attachment to books is strange, right?”

“Not going there.”

Guy responded with a laugh. “Whatever you say, Kakashi.”

What few belongings Kakashi possessed were easily moved down to the bottom floor, with only a few of the larger pieces requiring more than one person to navigate down the stairs. The new apartment was far nicer, containing a full-sized kitchen, a living room, and, as Kakashi was so thrilled to have, a separate bedroom. Even though he lived alone, he sorely missed his privacy when he had company. His friends were too nosy for their own good, most of the time.

Guy departed once the last of the boxes were safely inside. Choza was treating his old squad to dinner, to celebrate Ebisu’s promotion to special jonin. Left to the task, Kakashi and Tenzo set about unpacking in relative silence. The book case in the living room was slowly filled in a system that only Kakashi could understand, and Tenzo managed to find a place in the kitchen for everything.

The walls were bare, and the space seemed overwhelming, but it was something to get used to. Kakashi wouldn’t care much about decoration, and Tenzo planned to slowly introduce various wall hangings or pieces to the apartment when he visited. All at once would be too much for Kakashi; better to ease him into it.

The white-haired man was kicking the leg of his couch lightly, almost prodding it, with a displeased expression. Tenzo waited for him to say something. When he didn’t, Tenzo relented.

“What is it?”

“I don’t wanna sleep on the couch,” came a grumbled response. They’d spent so much time moving and unpacking that he hadn’t taken care of his sleeping arrangement. All he had was a box of blankets and pillows sitting on the floor of the empty bedroom.

He sighed. “You’re asking me if you can stay the night, aren’t you?”

His lack of protest told him all he needed to know.

“Just… come on.” Tenzo gestured for him to follow. “This is why I try to make you think things out, you know?”

“Maa, Tenzo, don’t lecture me. I’ve had a long day moving.”

“Yes, I’m aware. Do you have your keys?”

Kakashi withdrew his hand from his pocket, keyring around his middle finger. He held lazily at eye level before returning it to its place. With that, the door was shut and locked, and the pair set off.

“You know, when someone helps somebody move, they usually pay them back by buying dinner or alcohol,” Tenzo informed his companion.

“I would, but I don’t have my wallet.”

“We can go back for it.”

Kakashi shook his head, walking with his head tilted toward the ground. “Can’t. Locked myself out,” he lied, keeping his best poker face. He stumbled when Tenzo bumped him with his shoulder, a gesture he hadn’t expected in a public setting.

“I can’t stand you, Senpai.”