#I want to be able to afford food
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Sooooo yeah I decided to open commissions again! I’m in a very. Tough spot rn. I’m not getting enough hours at work and I’m hella short on money. I want to be able to actually afford rent and food n stuff so anything would be helpful :3
#commission#commissions open#taking commisions#please I need money#my credit card bills are so high :(#student loans :(#I want to be able to afford food
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do you make enough money from selling prints in etsy to sustain your life? how are you able to afford this beautiful house and time to crochet and go on walks and all of that? i’m not asking for nosiness but because i’m trying to figure out what i would need to do in order to make my life financially sustainable… is art an option… etc
short answer i mooch off my bf <333333333333333
#long answer part 1: i make enough off my etsy to afford my stuff (and i really don't buy much) and help out w th food bills where i can etc#i hvnt been able to do much of that OR save anything for the past couple months bc i hvnt been selling much BUT . things are beginning#to pick up again and i hve new stock to add when i get back from holidays :3#i have a smallish job lined up from my agent which is exciting! but hopefully i will make enough w her doing picture books etc to be able#to pay my keep / save more etc! i hve been anxious abt money this past months but thats just more so money for me to spend on small stuff :#i also dont drive so . i dont rlly hve many outwards expenses . im very lucky to have him hes very kind and lovely !!#if i wasnt w him and he didnt hve a house i would still b living w my mama which i did since i left uni!#long answer part 2: i always make time for goofing off during my work day. always!!!#part of the joys of being a freelancer! i can do what i want!!#i can share my routine in more detail if u guys want but i dont start work until abt 2pm-ish most days bc i dont rlly work well in the#mornings. when i hve more work that might change!! i have enough on to keep me busy but im not rlly hvin 2 manage my time u kno#im very very lucky to be in such a comfortable position :3 i hope one day u can be as comfy !!#oh also. i think once the agency work kicks in i will b fine financially ! and also u can absolutely make a living off etsy when its good#its very good for me ! i was very comfy financially around xmas last year i made a lot#u can do it u can do it !! art will always sell !!
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so dick as robin can want to kill the man who murdered his parents and bruce thinks no less of him, but jason as robin can want to be violent with pimps, rapists, and drug dealers because of his experiences growing up and bruce thinks he's going to become the dirtiest, nastiest murderous criminal in the world?
#this can all be explained in one phrase: rich white man#dick was violent as well when he wanted to kill zucco#and sure bruce might've resonated more with dick bc they share the same backstory#but him just automatically seeing jason in a bad light after he gets violent with criminals is so...#welcome to classism: dc's speciality#it's funny because i would maybe defend bruce if he said jason would've become a criminal without his intervention if jason was a teenager#or young adult#but bruce saw a full on child not even twelve years old#clearly stealing just to be able to afford some food for the night because he's homeless and has no parents#and just automatically saw him as a future criminal instead of the starving child he was#jason todd#red hood#batman#bruce wayne#dc#dick grayson
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i haven’t had an actual suicidal episode in a while lol this shit sucks 🙃
#had a really good day yesterday and now i want to die because *checks palm* my joints hurt and i’m convinced i’m ugly 🤦🏻#well also the crushing weight of not being able to afford to eat real food until thursday but whatevs#gonna go home and take a gabapentin so i can pass out and maybe tomorrow will suck less 🤷🏻#fern answers#suicide mention#i’m not gonna kill myself btw like i’m really not#i just want to be unconscious for a while
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I SPEEDRUN THIS BECAUSE HOLY TOLETO BURST OF INSPIRATION. It's been ages since I did some audio work plz forgive for any badness. And yes, he was supposed to say "It feels like years since I was last in one", but uh... I wound up forgetting the second half of the line WHOOPS
Anywho YES I can't help it, I love voicing him. And the sexyman polls are the best excuse to do so.
#megalosomnia#dr baggs#sexy sans poll#baggs#I'd be able to fine tune his voice a bit more if I had Melodyne Uno#but I'm a broke ass bitch who can't even afford food rn#Bc he's supposed to have a deep rich tone with lighter lilts in intonation#OR AT LEAST BY THAT I MEAN WHAT I WANT FOR MY IMPRESSION OF HIM#I love him he deserves to sound fabulous and fruity
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This is going to sound unexpectedly specific compared to my usual vague-as-fuck questions. Context being: I want money, I cannot commit to doing commissions at the moment and drawing is my only marketable skill.
If you were to buy a character "adopt" - premade design for your use, art by me and no rights retained except to like merchandising that original art - would it be a significant factor in either a positive or negative direction if the art were originally done digitally vs traditionally?
Likewise, if you were to buy a traditionally-drawn adopt, would the inclusion of the original paper-and-ink drawing be a significant benefit to you that you would consider paying more than just "base" price for?
Third, regardless of medium, would you want "scratch" papers where I did the brainstorming before the final concept was finished - this wouldn't be at any extra cost i just wonder.
Fourth, would you prefer a "flat" sale or an auction? (I like buying things at auction-style sales, and it means you might get a cheaper price than i'd normally list whatever it is for, but I am given to understand that my preferences vary from the norm pretty significantly lol) .
Fifth, would TF or at lesat mecha designs be more interesting than non-TF ones or would more general "can use this as any oc for anything" type characters be more appealing?
Ah - sixth and last, do regular ocs appeal more or less than kink/fetish-oriented ocs like "suspiciously wide-hipped lady who just so happens to have a mouth in her crotch" or stuff in that vein lol? I'm not sure I can stop myself from coming up with at least one erotic as fuck design because that's just how my brain works, but it's good to know if i should try and focus on that or leave it be and just focus on concepts that seem interesting enough to get a shape out of.
#i know this is specific. please understand i want to eat good food again.#i am not in Serious Financial Worry i simply cannot afford takeout again. my dad is going to give me money when he gets around to it but#that might be any time between now and the end of the month#and about 80% of the money in my bank account is tapped for rx payments the second i get to the pharmacy so i cant spend basically anything#if you guys respond it'd be a big help#also if anyone is interested - first design im working on is a cordyceps-possessed archer elf lady.#and im thinking to list it for around $40-50 US and +$10 and shipping for the paper version#i get a good deal on shipping these days at least. i should be able to ship overseas for like $15-20 US and not $60 or whatever#eta. LOL. LMAO EVEN. ummmm im probably going to want $200 minimum for this archer design. theres three and a half full color illustrations#here. i detailed LACE. FIVE TIMES. INCLUDING A DIAGRAM#i spent eight hours i want like at least my old rates lol#its a cool ass design though. so its worth it. trust me <- biased#my mailing list as usual gets first pick of stuff like this#so if you want to see it go sign up for that and then come message me and ill forward you a copy of the email i sent htem#if they snap it up im not selling it publicly.
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man i sure hope things get better soon…
#perhaps it’s just me seeing things online but like. ofc i’m concerned about the state of the economy and the housing market & job market#my family wants to keep my late grandfather’s house but all the siblings need the money and can’t afford to buy each other out#i saw a thing on ai taking an entire department’s jobs and it’ll be implemented worldwide taking tens of thousands of jobs#saw a reddit thread on if things were ever gonna get better and there was nothing comforting. it was all just ‘this is the new norm’ and#‘i dumpster dive outside of my work for food’ and ‘i’m planning to end my life because i can’t afford to live’#it’s like…i’m lucky to come from a middle class family. for the most part i’ve never had to worry about food or shelter#but i’m worried i’ll never be able to have my own life or i’ll be forced out at some point—working myself to the bone to afford a tiny plac#and just maximizing protein/suppressing my appetite to save money…i’ll never get to enjoy anything in life and it’s not fair because#this is my one chance#and everyone’s gonna ignore me or tell me not to worry but i don’t know what to do. i don’t know anything#maybe i should choose a different career path for one but i don’t know what the hell to do atp#tw vent#rose.txt
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annoyed with my roommate >:(
#B and I share pizzas but I need the pizzas more (safe food) and I buy most of them#so the rule is supposed to be that B keeps track of how many they eat vs how many I’ve bought and buys replacements#Ex: I bought 7 pizzas. B bought 3. B ate 5 pizzas; now B needs to buy 2 replacement pizzas.#this is a rule bc I have a lot of food restrictions and trauma around going hungry and B knows this. and B agreed to buy me replacements.#generally he’s been pretty good about it! but we were both leaving for trips this past weekend and I specifically asked him to replace#my pizzas bc I knew I was gonna be hungry when I got home#and he did not do that. so yesterday I ordered chipotle for dinner bc I could not go shopping bc energy GONE#and now I’m sitting here after class like >:( I wanted to eat lunch and now I can’t#I’ll go shopping after class today I’m just Annoyed. I’ve been spending a lot of money this week bc of trip and I can’t super afford to#order DoorDash or go shopping more than once a week. bc I am unemployed and living off of savings rn.#*screams*#and now I’m sitting here trying to find foods I can eat and reassure myself that it’s okay and I won’t starve#bc body is convinced that me being hungry means that I’m gonna be hungry for a long time#I’m gonna go make some popcorn. I ate the pumpkin brownies Beck gave me so that helps.#I wish I’d thought to ask Hobbs for the leftover pizza slices from Saturday night. ah well.#I’m safe and I will be able to buy groceries after class and I will eat dinner and I’m not in trouble for needing food#it’s okay
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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Using my brain like a metal detector to figure out what the FUCK it wants to do
#*shakes brain* what do you want??? food isnt working acnh isnt working weaving isnt working#im gonna fucking riot#im understimulated but just listening to a video feels OVERstimulating#i get bored & tired two minutes after starting a thing#but i want to do SOMETHING#i was in bed almost all day yesterday b/c i couldnt get myself to do anything else for more than. like. an hour at a time#or maybe less (it felt like less anyway)#i do NOT want to do that again#if my new meds dont do anything to help istg (im not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset)#depressions a bitch and i hate it!!!#im tired but i got a good amount of sleep the past few nights so its not from that??? i know its the Mental Illness but. still#i do NOT want to just take a NAP all DAY i want to DO things when im OFF from WORK#is this what it was like pre-meds??? b/c if so HOW#i legitimately dont remember#personal#jay rambles#mental health cw#depression cw#im. so fucking tired of this shit if the new meds do the thing where it makes things worse for the first few weeks#im still not gonna do anything im just gonna be upset about it. and there's a real chance i wont be able to work full hours#which i cant afford atm#i MADE SURE i had enough food for lung and i havent had half of it b/c i started and my brain went “mm no you're full actually”#(i very distinctly am NOT full. but now it has a bad Mouth Feel and im going insane)#(gonna try knitting next to see if that works)#food mention
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i don't know what it is about august/september (right around my birthday specifically) that always evokes some major change in my life. every year without fail, something big always happens, and i always get the annual, inescapable urge to completely turn my life around.
#within the last four years that big change has been packing up and moving to a different state (three times. once against my will OTL)#this year its packing and moving into a better apartment#but not only that but moving in with a roommate that will take some of the financial burden off of my shoulders#and then with that new extra income every month i will finally be able to afford the things i really want#and will make my life significantly easier and better#ya know. like actually having furniture in my apartment. or food.#or being able to start streaming again. or making time for my hobbies again. or having cute clothes i actually like to wear.#i just want to stop surviving and actually start living#for once in...about a decade now#shouting into the void
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Can’t afford my gender affirming beers so I guess I have to start smoking the eight I bought like 6 months ago before I promptly stopped smoking
#joking#mostly#unless …?#eaii#fuck I’m so#I can’t afford anything because I had to pay off my credit with what I was able to save from my last pay check#I asked my ‘gf’ to pay groceries this week (for the first time literally ever) and it turned into a fight#I’m back as a wage slave which is good because yay income#but I haven’t worked a job where the 30 min break is enforced in. well actually ever#it was definitely supposed to be at my first job but my manager regularly took hour+ long breaks and so he let the rest of us do the same#and god fucking damn#I cannot believe that by law a 6hr shift only warrants a 30 min unpaid break#it took me 10 min to get out to get food 10 min to get food and eat and then 10 min to get back#what the hell!!#like I already didn’t want to kms because I didn’t have time to make food to bring before my shift so I had to spend my last dollars on food#I took as many hours as possible this week but we’re at the beginning of a pay period so I don’t actually get paid for another two weeks#idk what I’m going to do#I feel fucking terrible begging my dad for money#maybe I should start doing sex for hire again#any money I put away to save is always used up to pay for bills#which isn’t a unique problem but is a vicious cycle to escape
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gonna be real honest I think I've been spiralling back into a proper depressive episode. I think my baseline tends to be on the depressive side because [gestures vaguely at my life] but this is. this is 'I can't function'. this is 'you need to be doing only things that make you feel good otherwise you will crash and burn further' territory
#I know what I really need and that's to be seated at my desk with a stack of drawing cartridge#wearing fresh pyjamas specifically for wearing during the day topped with a hooded blanket and perhaps one or two more#I am not expected to do any chores in the slightest and I'm only able to eat food that I really like. and the curtains are open#none of that's gonna happen. don't think I'm getting my desk any time soon don't really have enough pyjamas to achieve daytime wearing#housework is just a whole can of worms absolutely contributing to this mood I'm in#and I'm not sure if I can afford to eat what I want. or get the chance to if I somehow could
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job hunting but the establishment is Good Omens' Hell?
I can't draw to save my life, hence the face emotes :/ my Good Omens hyper-fixation is still going strong.
#3 am thoughts#please I just want a job that pays well#i want to be able to afford both food and rent#i still want to do my passion projects but i guess not in this economy#good omens#good omens au#original comic
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I am screaming at being reminded that my dad's family is really from a different world.
See I got into embroidery lately and was kinda looking through Youtube skillshare and domestika for the specifics of Lunéville crochet/embroidery to get a feel for it.
My dad asked why I wouldn't get an actual class to learn since we're in Paris. It's a haute couture technique. Official workshops are like 450€ for 6 hours. 1785€ for 30 (10x3) and don't get me wrong it's not out there considering what we're talking about but for a normal person, it is still expensive).
My dad's logic: just ask your grandma for the money for the 30 hours one.
I have joint pains, I don't know if I'll even be able to last more than a couple classes
My dad: heh at least you'll know.
WHO THE FUCK HAS 2000€ to waste on discovering whether I like something or not ? WTF.
#My Posts#Embroidery#The worst part is that on most stuff he's actually 'normal' since his own job is sound engineer and he's relied on social aids when he had#No contracts. But for this kind of stuff he's completely out there bc he's used to being able to ask the family for help when he wants#Something (we all can. My family's pretty chill since they can afford most things). Especially his mom.#But I don't bc that's not how my mom raised me#You ask for leftover food not money for a luxury hobby
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you know, I might be Stepping In It, but I really hate people's tendency to "you're lucky" when finding out someone's naturally skinny really piss me off.
I'm not saying there's not privilege to being skinny, there absolutely is in this fatphobic world. But as someone who has spent literally over half my life wishing I could gain any fucking weight ever it makes me so fucking mad. I've tried working out, I've had physically demanding jobs, I've tried, back when i could afford it, eating as much as I could handle. I have literal dysphoria about being skinny.
and then when I Go Off at a coworker for being the second person in a week to tell me I'm lucky- while wearing braces digging into my joints bc I am physically too small to wear them right but they don't get smaller- I'm told "oh but you have to realize we never considered the other side" sure! but I'm still allowed to get pissed! you would be too!
#personal;#i get it i GET IT we're not allowed to talk about skinny shaming.#I know this is nothing compared to what fat people have to go through#I know. I get it. I know.#but it's also so fucking invalidating to have to caveat my every complaint with 'other people have it worse'#like fuck maybe no one should be shamed for their bodies#maybe no one should be making off hand comments and assumptions about weight high OR low#like yeah the movement's not about me and i hate when ableds point out how accessibility can help THEM TOO so like#i get what I sound like#but I'm SO tired. I'm 29 and I've been trying to gain weight since i was like 13-15#I've never even managed to hit 130#I got close and then all my disabilities kept getting worse so then i couldn't work as much#and thus I can't afford food#so what i had built has been burnt#and I'm back to 120 and clinging with both hands to the hope I don't end up back at /115/ (I am 5'7". you can see my ribs)#like. I am NOT lucky. I can't sit or lay on a hard surface bc it hurts my bones#I can't cuddle well when I DO want to bc i'm just sharp bits#my proportions are so fucked that it's hard to find clothes that actually fit#like#I get it#I get what you're trying to say#but it hits trauma (ignored (JOKED ABOUT) eating disorder bc I'm skinny so it's Fine; repeated skinny shaming; etc)#and it's so exhausting not being allowed to be mad about it#If i had three wishes with no downsides the first would be to gain 50-100lbs and i've been saying that for over a decade#I'll probably regret posting this#ask to tag;
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