#and now I’m sitting here trying to find foods I can eat and reassure myself that it’s okay and I won’t starve

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

annoyed with my roommate >:(

[twirlywhirlywriting]

What Would I Do Without You?

I finally did it!!! This was definitely a challenge for me as a writer. I am mostly used to female submissives so this was a huge change! I hope you all like it, I worked really hard on it! Here you go, my loves, submissive John Murphy!

Title: What Would I Do Without You?

TAGS/WARNINGS: 18+ Minors DNI, Smut, Sub!Murphy x Dom!/Reader, Reader’s POV, Fem Reader, Use of Y/N, Cussing, Soft Dom, Mistress Kink, Obedience, Reassurance, Strip Tease, Kissing, Praise, Fingering, Oral (f receiving), P in V (unprotected), Orgasms, Soft Edging (literally one time), Handjob, Slight Mess, Aftercare, Mentions of Love

The first thing that I need to point out before telling you anything, is that John Murphy is mine. He is the love of my life, he is my best friend, he is my baby. He’s my submissive, my fuck toy, my good boy, just mine. I know that when you look at us, we seem like any other “power couple” who are really just giant assholes who don’t care about anyone else but each other. But really, he’s just trying to give the people what they want, and well, I can’t help myself from being protective of him and his feelings. 

The only reason he is being so forceful in making everyone take off those stupid wristbands is because no one wants the fuckers who put us down here to follow us. We don’t deserve to be prisoners. We are lucky none of us are 18, otherwise we’d all be dead anyways. But they put us on this dropship without our permission. They are the ones who didn’t know if they were killing us or not. And now we have the entire Earth to ourselves. The last thing that any of us want is for those stupid assholes to follow us down and take control again, or worse, call us criminals again. We deserve this whole goddamn Earth to ourselves, we were the ones who were going to die for it if it turned out to be uninhabitable anyway. 

Most people understand this and are happy to take off the damn wristband-tracker-whatever the fuck they are. If everyone on the Ark thinks we died, they won’t follow us and we will finally be free. But Clarke and her stupid boy toy followers are making things way harder than they need to be. They’re being dicks to John, my John. I can’t stand it. 

“Stop it, Murphy! Everyone, you have to stop taking those off, the Ark has to know we’re alive!” Clarke screams at John over the fire. Maybe he is being a little bit intense, not letting anyone get dinner until they allow him to remove the wristband. But it’s for their own good! How can that bitch not see that? 

“No one wants the Ark to know we’re alive, Clarke. We want to be free. We deserve to be free.” He retorts, then turns to everyone, “Do you want to be the Ark's prisoners again? For doing nothing? For saving their asses and getting nothing in return?” He yells, and everyone around boos at Clarke; she and Wells look like they’re about to pop their top. 

She grabs a piece of meat anyways and starts eating, then glares at him. “No rules, right? Screw you, Murphy.” His eyes look like he’s ready to kill her, but I know that look. When he looks murderous, he’s really just sad, or scared, or something. Maybe angry too, maybe a bit murderous, but mostly sad. And that makes me fume. 

I hand my food to John and stand up. Yanking the food back from Clarke, I step right up to her and get in her face. “You know you can’t do that shit. Chaos is good, but you’re just being fucking stupid. He’s helping people, whether you realize it or not. You, Wells, and Finn can all just go on your merry fucking way and find your own food. We’ll get your wristbands later.” She looks like she’s about to throw a punch, but Finn stops her and pulls her away. I’m still fuming, who does she think she is? Finn is right, she is a fucking princess. Wells and Clarke think they get to decide all the rules just because his Daddy and her Mommy are in charge up there. Well, they’re fucking wrong. 

As I sit back down, John gives me back my food. We are both still so pissed off at the whole situation, and not just because of right now. Clarke and those stupid boys are always getting in John’s way. They truly think they can lead us! While I sit here thinking about how fucked up it is, John grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips, planting the softest kiss. I know he’s trying to calm me down, even though he’s just as mad as I am. He’s so fucking sweet. He could be ready to kill someone and when he looks at me or touches me, it is always so soft and loving. He treats me like a queen no matter how he feels. 

I smile at him and when I catch his eyes, I can tell he needs a break. He is trying so hard to keep his cool in front of everyone, but I can tell the frustration of the day and that encounter is getting to him. I quickly shove the last bite of food into my mouth and lead him to our tent with his hand in mine. I’m going to take all of his thoughts and make them melt away, I know just what to do.

The second we get inside, he asks, “Am I doing something wrong?” and I shake my head and smile at him, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes. You may think he likes to take charge with the way he acts around other people, but you’d have it all wrong. He needs the release of not having to make choices. To listen to someone else for a change, have someone else be responsible for him when no one is watching.

“No baby boy, nothing wrong at all. You’re perfect.” I kiss him on the lips, then kiss both of his cheeks, and when I look into his eyes again, I can’t take it. He’s just so hot, standing there and waiting to react to my every move. I kiss him again, harder this time, moving my hands up under his shirt a little to glide my hands along his stomach and chest. He grabs me by my waist and kisses me back deeply, stifling a small moan. I know he wants me. I grin and look up to him, putting my hand on his cheek softly. “What does my good boy want, hm?” 

He bites his lip and looks into my eyes, knowing just the right words to say. “I want to make you feel good, Mistress. I just want to feel you all over me. I want to feel you on my hands, my lips, my tongue, I want to please you with every part of me.” It’s hard for me to keep my composure when he says such yummy words.

“And you can have me. But not yet. Sit on the bed, for now you only get to watch.” He immediately obeys, sitting on the bed with his eyes glued to me. I slowly take off my shirt, much slower than normal, feeling his eyes look over every inch of my stomach, my ribs, my tits, my collarbone and neck, and finally my face again. With my pants, it’s the same thing. I turn around this time though, giving him a full view as I bend over and let him watch every part of my ass and legs become exposed. I peel my underwear off too, giving him just a quick peek of my pussy before standing up and turning around again. 

Instead of letting him touch me like he asked for, I smirk at him, trailing my hands up my stomach and start squeezing my tits, then trailing my fingertips around my nipples until they get hard. I love watching him practically drool, watching his pants get tight, his hands grabbing onto the sheets to stop himself from leaping up and grabbing me.  

I move a hand down my stomach, across my hips, parting my legs just enough to let my hand slip between them. I keep one hand squeezing my tit and sometimes pinching my nipple, letting the other hand glide along my slit, then I start to slowly rub my clit. I lean my head back and moan, wondering just how much this is killing him and enticing him to watch. After maybe a minute or so, I pull my hand back up, stare straight into his eyes, and lick the wetness off of my fingers. His face flushes, and I ask him, “What is it? Do you want a taste too?” 

He stumbles over his words as though he couldn’t get them out fast enough, “Yes, Mistress, please let me taste you.” It makes me feel so warm inside when he says these things. Of course, I’ll give him what he wants. I walk towards him, put a foot up onto the bed to give him a better view, and slide a single finger inside of myself. When I pull it out, it’s glistening. It’s fucking teasing me to do this too, but I love seeing how much he wants me. 

“Open.” I demand as I put my finger up to his lips, and he does so immediately. I slide my finger in his mouth, and he is happy to suck my finger clean. “Good boy, you are so patient. You get to touch me now.” I lay down onto the bed, “Whatever you want to do to start with, baby, you earned it.” 

He climbs on top of me, kissing my neck oh so gently, it almost tickles. He works his way down to my chest, and as he does so, his kisses become more erratic and have more pressure. He gets to my tits, and uses his tongue to circle my nipple, using a hand to follow suit on my other nipple. I close my eyes to fully enjoy the sensations, combing my fingers through his hair as he does this.

After a little bit of this, I feel my wetness and the tingle of desire a bit too intensely. “Okay, I need you on my pussy, right now.” The end of my sentence is almost a growl, I didn’t realize how fucking wet I was until it hit me like a brick wall and I couldn’t wait a single second longer. 

“Yes Mistress, of course.” He scoots back on the bed, wetting two of his fingers using my own juices, sliding one in and pumping a few times before adding the second. He starts kissing my clit, just warming me up as he continues to slowly pump his fingers in and out, just barely curling his fingers up at the last second of every thrust, only a whisper of a touch to my g-spot. Even with how soft he’s being, my breathing quickens. He’s not one to need too much direction on exactly how to please a woman. He doesn’t start off too fast, and he definitely knows where all the good spots are. Whether he’s naturally gifted, or if he’s practiced, I’ve never cared to ask. He’s all fucking mine and that’s the only thing that matters to me. 

“You’re doing so good, baby, you’re such a good boy for me, that’s just right.” I coo at him, making sure every second that he knows just how good he’s making me feel. 

His kisses on my clit slowly turn into kisses with tongue, and that turns into pressing his tongue into me with the tiniest of suction of his lips, letting go with a tiny pop every time. As his kisses change into this, his fingers start working faster, and the second he feels my g-spot swell, he starts fully curving them into that wonderful “come here” motion as he pumps them in and out of me. His tongue gets faster as well, consistent stimulation with suction every few seconds, it’s perfect. I grip the sheets with one hand and his hair in another, unable to control how loud or often I’m moaning. I can barely talk anymore, but I mumble out a “Good boy, just like that!” 

It only takes a couple of minutes before my orgasm comes to the brink, my legs shaking and the world around me practically spinning as I hit my peak. When it calms down, I grip his hair tighter and pull him up to me in a sloppy kiss, both of us breathing heavily. “Am I making you feel good, Mistress? That was good?” He asks me, and my heart melts. He is probably the only guy in the world to make a girl cum that hard and not be full of himself about it. He wants reassurance that he’s doing things just how I like them. Fuck, I love him. He is going to be mine forever, I swear to God. 

“Yes, you are doing so good, baby boy. I’m going to keep you mine forever. Understand?” I look into his eyes so that he knows that isn’t just pillow talk, that he really is mine. Forever. 

He nods with more enthusiasm than I’ve ever seen, and responds with the same seriousness in his voice that I had in mine. “Yes Mistress, I’m all yours, forever. You own me.” 

I give him one more kiss before switching our positions so that I’m on top of him now. “I need you to be inside me now.” I say as I slowly ease myself onto him, groaning as I feel the fullness inside of me. “It’s my turn to watch as you feel good, baby.” I say soothingly, before adding sternly, “now don’t you dare look away. I want to look into your eyes the whole time I’m making you feel good.”

He bites his lip and nods, almost immediately moaning as I start riding him, slowly at first, moving my hips up and down, then back and forth, then a mixture of them all, in a circle. I love watching the sweat slowly build in his hair, watching the muscles on his chest and abs clench as I make him feel so good. I place my hand on his chest to give me better leverage to go faster, faster, and stop right as I see he is starting to get closer to his orgasm. 

Disappointment flickers in his eyes, but only for a moment, he knows I’m never going to fully deny him. He’s too beautiful and perfect to truly be mean. I lean down to give him a kiss, before whispering into his ear. “Now, you’re going to make me cum again. I’m going to stay still, and you are going to fuck me like this, exactly how I tell you to.” 

“Yes Mistress, I want to make you cum on me. Please tell me what you want.” He begs and I groan quietly, he’s too fucking good. 

I straighten back up and tell him to start off slow, which he does. He keeps his hands on my waist to help him gain leverage, and I trail my fingers along his chest and tell him constantly how good he’s doing, how much he’s pleasing me. I tell him to go faster, then to slow down, then to go deeper and harder, then faster, then slow again. He follows along with my words perfectly. I like to work myself up to the edge, not too fast, I want to enjoy every moment of this. But when I notice he is getting a little tired, I tell him to speed up and fuck me as hard as he can. 

My nails dig into his chest as I cum, my head falling back as I moan and my legs squeeze against his sides, making it harder for him to continue fucking me but he pushes through. When I look back down at him I smile at his flushed face, “Stop, baby. You can stop. You are such a perfect fuck toy. Now it’s finally your turn.” 

I start riding him again, keeping up with the quick pace and making sure I’m going all the way down, pushing all of him inside me with every hip thrust. I love watching him pant and whimper as he gets close to the edge. “Mistress, please, I-I-I’m close!” he says with urgency, and I get off of him and immediately jerk him off, keeping the pace as I watch him cum all over himself, biting my lip as I watch.

“Look at what a mess you’ve made, baby.” I tease, making him blush a little bit but he knows I’m not mad. I just love watching him make a mess everywhere, especially on himself. I quickly grab a rag and clean him up, first wiping the sweat off his brow and then cleaning up his chest. 

I lay down next to him, propping myself up on my elbow. I kiss him all over his face, a million times practically, whispering in a soothing voice “You are such a good boy,” and “You did such a wonderful job,” and “It’s all over now baby, I love you so much.” and “I’ll be right here to care for you, always.” in between the kisses being peppered all over his face. He snuggles into me, and I am happy to hold him, regulating my own breathing in order to help him regulate his. 

I stroke his hair, humming softly in a soothing lullaby I forgot the words to a long time ago, every once in a while kissing the top of his head. After a while, he looks up at me and asks, “Did you really mean it, that I’m yours forever? Because.. I want to be. I always want to be yours, Y/N. Always.”

I smile back at him, my heart melting all over again. “Whatever would I do without you, John? I love you.” 

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[clumsiestgiantess]

Lots of people wanted a continuation to the short I made for @entomolog-t’s prompt, so here you are! I already had ideas for a second part the moment I finished the first one!

(First part here)

I was so tired the night of my disappearing act that I barely made it to the scraps of insulated fabric I call my bed.  Just as my head hit the comfortable fluff, a thud echoed above my head and I dashed to the doorway in seconds, heart racing.  More thuds rumbled over the floorboards as I stood frozen looking fearfully upwards — believing Alice somehow knows where I am, and is trying to pry up the wooden planks to get to me.  Faintly, I can hear her muffled voice.  “Please, I know you’re scared, but hiding isn’t going to do either of us any good!  Just come out; I swear I’m not dangerous!”  

Oh.  She’s probably crawling around on the floor trying to find me.  Well, unless she can crawl beneath it, she’ll have a tough time finding anything but dust!  I sneered at the thought, trying to reassure myself enough to get back in bed.  I’m safe now.  She’s not going to find me here.  However, no matter how many fabric scraps I press over my ears, I can’t drown out enough noise for me to sleep.  Even when I lay on the cold floor with everything over my head until I’m nearly suffocating, I can still feel the vibrations of Alice moving around.  Just go to sleep already!  Thud around all you like in the morning when I leave for the day!  Regardless of my mental harassment of her, the human didn’t give up until it was early morning.

Finally, I have peace and quiet, and I fall asleep in record time.  Come morning, the house is still silent as ever.  I wake up with a gnawing ache in my chest.  Briefly, I think it’s guilt over what I’d done the day before — turns out it was just hunger.  I’d run away before getting to eat yesterday.  Thankfully, I have some provisions that I’ve stored away for emergencies.  I grab a few crackers and glance at the little watch piece that’s fastened to the wall.  Oh, what?!  I slept in!  I usually never sleep in!  My natural alarm wakes me up at almost the exact time every day.  Then again, I’m usually asleep much earlier than last night, too.  

No wonder the floor is so quiet; Alice is probably out of the house by now, or in her room working on human things.  Quickly finishing breakfast, I slip on my bag and head out to the large kitchen.  Now that my emergency stash of food is diminished, I’m a bit anxious to get it stocked again.  I walk the same trek I’d sleepily walked the night before, but stop at the end of the hall where the electrical cover sits.  Maybe I’ll.. go a different way.  

Taking the long way through the walls, I come out inside a cabinet with windowed doors.  Reaching out to push one open, I glance out of it and flinch.  With cautious steps, I slide backward behind some cups.  Alice is in the room.  None of her usual music is playing, she isn’t watching videos on her phone, she isn’t talking to herself or a friend on the phone, either.  She’s just sitting there with what appears to be her breakfast, staring numbly at a wall.  Huh.  Whatever ‘exams’ are, they really seem to be stressing her out.  Usually she’s done with breakfast by now.  

Her strange behavior can’t be because of me.  She had spent less than twelve hours with me, and most of that time she spent ignoring me.  Logically, she wouldn’t be that upset over someone she barely knew, right?  She’d given up her search hours ago when she finally stopped keeping me up all night.

A while later, she leaves.  It’s strange, though.  Alice steps lightly across the room, glancing around the floor before each step.  Maybe she lost something important?  That tends to make humans fairly stressed.  Hell, it makes me stressed.  If a human’s missing something, it might mean I made a bad judgment call on what I could take without being noticed.

My nerves settle when the sound of her footsteps fade off.  Back to business.  My day runs relatively smoothly from there.  Of course, I had to come across a knot or two in my climbing rope mid-scale, which I wasn’t too happy about.  After collecting up some food, I spent a long while getting the knots to untie.  It’s always best to get them out before you make a climb, that way your weight won’t tug them tighter.  It was too late for that lesson to come in handy, though.  

My next chore on the list is borrowing some more thread to stitch winter linings back into my clothes.  The winter weather caught me by surprise.  It had come earlier than I thought, and I’d nearly died because of it.  Briefly, blurry visions of the inside of that knitted hat fade in and out of my consciousness.  I nearly froze to death that night.  If the thing hadn’t been left there accidentally, I wouldn’t have made it long enough to even try to get help.  Blinking away the memories, I realized I was shivering and rubbed my hands over my arms for a bit more warmth, reminding myself that I’m safe here.  The apartment never gets that cold.  Ever.

At my home under the floors that afternoon, I gather up the materials I already collected.  I have the fluffy inner lining that I’d taken from an old coat Alice left in a storage bin — I’ve been using it as bedding — my knife to cut everything to size, and a smaller needle I’d whittled out of a long chunk of wood.  Now all I need is the thread.

Back in my little passages, I head in the opposite direction through the floor.  I slow as I make my way up into the walls towards Alice’s room.  Unfortunately, that’s where the sewing kit is, directly under her bed.  Alice will be there for sure.  Whatever she’s working on this time must be important.  I haven’t heard her leave her room all day since I saw her walk in this morning.  She hasn’t even gotten lunch.  Maybe she has a snack on her desk!  Perhaps when she’s asleep or out of the house I’ll steal some of it.

Sliding out of a crack in the baseboards behind a large bookshelf, I creep up to the very edge of it and scan the room.  Sure enough, Alice is there doing schoolwork, watching a video on something called ‘trigonometry’ that I can barely pronounce — I don’t dare try to imagine what it actually is.  At least she’s not being unnervingly still anymore.  

I dart from my place beneath the bookshelf to beneath her bed.  The sewing kit sits further towards the wall, right beside her desk.  Alice seems distracted enough, scribbling down something while mumbling about things I don’t understand.  She does that often enough that it isn’t as concerning as this morning.  Maybe she’s finally returning to normal.  That’s a relief.  A human on a schedule is a good human to live with.  Memorize it, use it to your advantage, and you’ll practically own the place — at least while they’re not around.

Making my way to the box, I wait for the video to start playing again before popping open the lid — timing it so she doesn’t pick up the noise amidst the other sounds she’s concentrating on.  Sliding a few things around, I manage a clear path to the spool I want.  Rummaging through various different items larger than yourself is no easy task, but I make it look practically effortless.  A shrunken human would never be able to do half the things I do on a daily basis, I think with a smirk.  I yank out the spool of thread and reach for my knife.

“No!  What?  How?!  I used the same formula and everything!”  I flinch as Alice yells, her angry voice edged with dismay.  Cautiously, I tiptoe over to the side of her bedframe and glance up at her.  She’s frantically writing something down, biting at her bottom lip with furrowed brows.  Whatever it is, she isn’t too happy about it.  I’m just about to continue my work when she glances over at the computer screen again.  “What the heck?!”  Furiously, she crumples her paper into a crushed ball, looking ready to throw it across the room in a fit of rage.  I brace myself instinctively, thankful I hadn’t stuck around to anger her.

Suddenly, a sob wrenches out of Alice’s throat, catching me entirely by surprise.  She curls her arms around her head as it falls to the surface of the desk.  The paper ball drops dully to the floor.  Her whole body shakes as she cries onto her desk, and my relief drops into a muted kind of confusion.  “I’m gonna fail,” she whimpers, “I can’t do this.  Why is everything going so wrong?  I just wanted to help him; why’d he run away?  I feel sick.  What if he’s hurt somewhere and can’t call for help?  What if he’s too scared to call for help?”

She.. really is worried about me.  So worried that she’s acting like a complete mess — and not the silly endearing mess I’m fond of her for.  If my disappearance amplifies her worries over these exams…  Well, she didn’t tell me what would happen if she failed them, just that she couldn’t.  I abandon the thread I’m after and rush for the crack in the wall behind the bookshelf.  A plan’s forming in my mind.  It might backfire horribly, but I’m hoping it’ll work.  Alice is much too distracted for me to even bother checking if the coast is clear.  Her light sobs still echo against the surface of her desk.

I slip between the two halves of the wall and take a large calming breath.  Then I start shouting.  “Alice!  It’s ok, I-”  The human sits up so abruptly I stop talking fearfully.  I don’t know how beings as big as her can move so quickly.  She scans the floor of the entire room in only a few seconds.  Of course, I’m smart enough not to be in plain sight.  “Hello?”  Alice’s voice is slightly muffled like her nose is stuffy.  I swallow a lump that formed in my throat.  “It’s.. It’s ok.  It’s me, the ‘little guy’.”  Alice hastily rubs away her tears and stands up.  “You’re… alright?” she asks me, glancing around.  “Yeah.”

“Oh thank god!” Alice gasps, relieved.  “You made me so worried for you!  Are you hungry still?  I- I know you haven’t eaten in a while since you.. ran off when I tried to get something for you.”

The room falls into an awkward silence.  I can’t see much of her from beneath the bookshelf, but I watch Alice nervously shuffle from foot to foot — waiting for my response.  She can’t stay silent for very long, though.  “Look, I’m sorry I scared you off…  I don’t know what happened, but I’m willing to work with you to try and get your memories and your old life back.  I can’t imagine how terrifying it is to suddenly be so small, not even knowing how you got that way-”

“Stop.”  Alice quieted at the single word.  “That’s.. a lie.  I remember everything just fine.”  I want to say that I’m not terrified of being small either, but I can’t bring myself to say it.  Even if I’ve lived my whole life this way, I still have my moments.  Yesterday and that whole escapade with the freezing car was one of the worst of them.  “So.. you just didn’t want to tell me how you shrank?”  I sigh, “No.. Alice, I- I never shrank.  I’ve always been this way.”  She starts and stops talking a few different times — syllables barely leaving her mouth.  “I’m not human, Alice.”

The silence that follows is worse than the last.  It feels almost suffocating.  A gentle thud reverberates over the floorboards and I peer out.  Alice is kneeling on the floor, leaning down to peer under the bookshelf.  Quickly, I duck back behind the wall.  “Is that why you left?”  Her voice softens, tears entirely gone.  “I promised I wouldn’t hurt you.”  “You promised the tiny human me that you wouldn’t hurt me.”  I glance out of my hiding spot just as Alice’s gaze wanders, thinking through something.  

“You thought I would go back on my word if I knew you were lying to me?  Or you just.. thought that I wouldn’t care because you’re not human?” she asks me, sounding hurt.  I feel almost chastised.  Her gaze flickers to me.  “I promised you that I wouldn’t hurt you.  You.  No matter who or what you were.  I’m a bit upset you wanted to lie to me about… everything.  But I can’t be mad at you for being scared of me.  I won’t ask you to talk to me anymore if you don’t want to, but just know, I’m glad you’re alright.”

Tears of relief well in my eyes and my throat tightens.  Tentatively, I slide out from within the crack in the wall.  “You- You really mean that?  You don’t care that I’m not one of you?”  A small smile spreads over Alice’s lips.  Of course not, don’t be silly!  You’re safe here, I promise.  I understand if you want to go home, though.  You probably have others of your kind to get back to, and I’ve accidentally trapped you in my house.”  I glance away sheepishly, “Well, about that��  I kind of.. live here.”  “What?!”

I end up telling her every part of the truth — how I really got into her car, where I’d gone to when I ran off — everything.  “I actually did remember my name.  It’s just.. not really a human-sounding one, so I couldn’t exactly give you it.  My name’s Fennel, but I mostly just go by Fen.”  “Fen?” she asks a bit confusedly.  I nod.  “Nice to finally really meet you!” Alice laughs, “How long have you been living here.. with me?”  I think back.  “I moved in after you were already here, but you were still unpacking things, so I don’t think it was very far off from when you moved in, too.”  Alice makes a surprised noise.  “Where were you living before?”  “Eh, another apartment in this building.  The new people were too loud, so I moved out.”  She giggled, “I wish I could just pack up and slip into a new home whenever I have problems with the neighbors.”  I sigh, “It’s harder than it seems; I have to rebuild a livable space for myself every time.”  Alice nods thoughtfully, sitting back up.  Some of her bones crack as she does, and I flinch.

“Hey, if you don’t mind, can you maybe come out from beneath there?  It hurts my back to try to bend all the way to the floor to look at you.”  She won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you.  “Alright.”  With slow deliberate steps I make my way out from beneath the bookshelf.  Alice sits a foot away from me.  I have to crane my neck back vertically to see her face, peering almost all the way downward at me.  She offers me the palm of her hand.  “Can I hold you?  Please?”  My heartbeat thunders so loudly I almost don’t hear what she asks.  Cautiously, I nod and step up onto her hand, raised just a bit higher than a stair.  She won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you.

I’ve never interacted with a human before her, but I’ve seen it happen before.  My brother — well, he wasn’t actually my brother, but we always called eachother that — had been found by a human.  I was there.  It was pitch dark, perfect time for borrowing.  We’d forgotten a light, but Gin scoffed at the idea of going back for one — until he stepped into a mouse trap.  Every once and a while I’ll still hear the awful noise made when the trap snapped closed on him.  The human came running when they heard the gargled shriek, and the last thing he told me was to leave him there.  The metal beam that had crunched around his midsection somehow hadn’t killed him, but his body was far from unharmed.

From a grate in the floor nearby, I watched as the human found him, ensured him things would be alright, and pulled him out of the trap — tearing him in two.  In hindsight, I don’t think the human meant to kill him.  They screamed and dropped the half of him they were holding.  I was too stricken and horrified to process that in the moment, so I just ran.

“Fen?”  I flinched so violently I nearly knocked myself in the face with my hand, instinctively trying to cover my head with my arms.  “Are you ok?  You look sick.  If this makes you uncomfortable, I can put you back down.  You didn’t have to get on.”  It’s just like in the car — her blue-eyed gaze looking me over with genuine concern.  “I- I’m alright.”  She gently shakes her head.  “You aren’t, though.  You’re shaking.”  The gentlest pressure alights on my chest as a soft finger brushes up against it.  “And your heart’s beating really fast.”  Her touch is so soft — incredibly cautious like she’s holding something precious and delicate.  Maybe I am, to her.  It’s nothing like what I had imagined a human would feel like, nothing at all.

In a brief moment of weakness, my eyes tear up and I squeeze her finger closer, pressing my forehead against it.  It is absolutely terrifying thinking about where I am.  I’ve spent all my life believing it’s a place of certain death.  Why is it so comfortable?  All Alice would have to do to hurt me is close her fist and squeeze.  My fate wouldn’t be that much different than Gin’s.  She won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you, she won’t hurt you.

Everything shifts around me and I rush to get out of her grip, immediately fearing that my imagination somehow willed an awful reality.  But Alice brings me up to her chest and holds me gently against it.  She tucks me against her sternum as her head comes to rest behind her hands that hold me.  “It’s alright now.”  I’m not sure if she’s assuring me, or herself, but I accept it and bring myself snugly against her.  It’s blissfully warm there.  While the walls where I live aren’t nearly as freezing as the outdoors, they’re still plenty cold.  The heat is more than welcome.  My wild pulse softens into a much normal rhythm while I listen to Alice’s own heartbeat thrumming beneath her skin.

Things are fuzzy in my mind beyond that moment.  I’ve been up for a full twenty-four hours, and the night before was only worse than the last.  I remember stumbling off her palm onto her desk, watching dazedly as Alice looked around the room for something.  She finds it and places it down for me.  It’s a little blanket folded over so it can be both a mattress and blanket at the same time.  I crawl into it, listening to the sound of pencil scratches on paper for only a few minutes before I fall asleep mumbling a weary ‘thank you’.

[shadyruinskryptonite]

Titan Bending, Chapter 3

Warning: Violence consistent with cannon, NSFW so MDNI, language, major character death (both consistent with canon of both AOT and ATLA as well as diverging from canon), so much trauma literally everyone is so traumatized, very much slow burn, a little enemies to lovers, SO MUCH ANGST, hurt/comfort, hurt and delayed comfort, AFAB reader

Chapter Warnings: Language, violence and implied violence, Levi being a dick, please let me know if I missed anything

WC: 2600

Previous Chapter, Next Chapter

Masterlist

I’m given no formal introduction to the soldiers, but Hange does take me around. I’m trying so hard to pay attention to what she’s saying because I think I could be friends with her, but I find myself zoning in and out of the conversation.

“You’ll technically be on Captain Levi’s squad but much like Eren you’ll be running a lot of experiments with me,” Hange says.

“Wait, hold on. I thought we agreed that I was allowed to kind of be my own free agent? What’s this about squads and experiments?”

She waves me off and says, “yes, yes, you have your independence still. But for the sake of our strategy and planning, we have to know roughly where you’ll be located. And as for experiments,” I swear I see her vibrate with excitement, “we also need to understand your abilities and how we can best utilize them.”

I’m still a little apprehensive but I ultimately nod. Eventually, I quietly mumble “I refuse to call that little shit ‘Captain’ though.”

Hange bursts into laughter, so uncontrollable that it starts to draw the attention of other people milling about. Once she collects herself, she says “I can’t wait to see you two interact more. You’re either going to be his favorite or he’s going to hate you with every fiber of his being.”

“That’s…reassuring,” I say wholly unconvinced.

Our tour around the barracks comes to a close at the mess hall just in time for dinner. I join Hange in line and continue to listen to her describing the quality of food. “It’s not the best but it’s not the worst either. They do what they can with what little resources they have. We don’t often get meat though so I hope you’re not strictly carnivorous,” Hange laughs at her own joke and I smile.

“Honestly, a hot meal that I don’t have to hunt or catch myself is a welcome change,” I lament.

“You said something similar about sleeping in a bed even though the dungeon beds leave much to be desired. If you hate living out there so much, why did you choose to live out there?” she ponders.

I smile again as food is added to our trays and we slide along. I don’t know what a lot of the items are so I just pick up all of the same things that Hange does. As we look for seats, I explain, “Well, truth be told this experience wasn’t exactly what I was anticipating. When I’ve lived on my own previously, I had the option to go into villages and I did so a few times a week.”

She sits down and I don’t pay much attention to our surroundings as I finish my story. “Sure, I was completely self-sufficient before but what I liked was that life seemed so simple. I did odd jobs for people, made art, and played music when I needed extra cash. I was expecting the same thing here but obviously that’s not what I got.”

Now that we’re sitting, I take my first bite and nod in contentment. Hange was right - it’s not great, but I’ve certainly had worse. It’s only now that I take a moment to look at the people near us and realize we’re being stared at. Before I can get too self conscious though, I notice the boy that I treated on the cart is sitting just up the table from us.

I grin, happy to see a familiar face, and I wave enthusiastically to him and say “Armin! It’s nice to see you again!” He seems embarrassed so I just turn back to keep talking to Hange. 

We finish eating and she shows me where to return my tray before changing the subject. “Okay!” she says with a clap. “Now I just need to show you to your room!”

The surprise must have been evident on my face because she laughs again and says “What, you thought we were going to make you sleep on the ground?”

I snort and respond, “no, it’s not that. I honestly thought I’d stay in the cell or be put in some kind of communal housing. I’m surprised I get an actual room.”

The humor drops from her tone as she says, “we did consider that, but both for your safety and that of the other soldiers, we decided it was best to keep you on your own.” I let her words sink in and I nod knowingly before she continues. “Plus, your room is right between the Captain’s quarters and my lab, so we can keep an eye on you.” When she says this, she almost seems like she feels guilty for not trusting me.

We stop in front of a door and I turn to her, trying to reassure her. “Hey, I get it. You guys have been really accommodating as it is, I totally understand that you’ve gotta watch me. I’ve said it before, but in your shoes I know I certainly wouldn’t trust me either.” With that, her smile returns and she opens the door to an admittedly very small room. 

Hange sheepishly says “it was converted from a storage closet so it’s-”

“It’s perfect,” I say with a smile, cutting her off before she says anything negative. “Whether it’s a closet or a cell or a blanket on the ground, I’m honestly just grateful that you didn’t opt to execute me.”

The backpack I took with me as I left the forest is sitting at the foot of the bed and there’s a small chest of drawers with a lamp on top. It’s not like I have a lot of things as it is, so this is more than enough. I open my bag and begin to put things away, and Hange’s voice cuts through my thoughts, “Even though your room is situated among the officers, you will still have to use the communal bathrooms and showers that the enlisted use. Sorry about that.”

I laugh, saying something similar to my previous responses, “I’ve been bathing in a river and rubbing flowers on myself so I don’t smell like a dead turtle seal. If it’s water and soap, I have no complaints.”

It seems like she has a question, but she just turns to walk out, only adding “I’m experimenting with Eren in the morning, so I’ll plan to see you just after lunch. Captain Levi and I want to test the extent of your abilities.” I nod and bid her a goodnight, hearing her mumble to herself as she closes the door, “what the hell is a turtle seal?”

When I wake up, I can barely make out what’s on the clock. I have no concept of time because my little closet doesn’t have a window so I flip on my light and instantly regret it. As my eyes adjust I see that I’ve missed breakfast so I decide to shower before I start my day. I fold my clean clothes over my arm and grab the towel and soap from the bottom drawer. As I walk towards the bathroom, I see what looks like a field of kids training.

Wow, Armin was right, most of them do look like they’re only about 15.

I shower quickly and peacefully, getting dressed before I step in front of the mirror to braid my hair. As I’m standing there, a girl with jet black hair walks in. I glance at her from the corner of my eye and recognize her as someone that was sitting with Armin the previous night. As I’m about to greet her, I realize that she’s merely glaring at me so I quickly decide against it. Walking back to my room I also realize how strange it would be to introduce myself to someone in a bathroom.

To kill a little bit of time, I go for a quick run to get my blood pumping for the day. It seems like everywhere I go people are staring at me.

This will be hard to get used to.

I cut my run off early when I came across Hange running an experiment with who I’m guessing is Eren. As I approach she spares me a glance before doing a quick double take.

“Are you wearing the same thing you wore yesterday?” she asks, now looking at Eren again.

I glance at my outfit before looking at her and blinking slowly. I answer with my own question, “you wear a uniform every day, does that mean they’re the same articles of clothes you wore the day before?”

“Touche, but you’re a civilian, why do you have more than one of the same thing?”

“Because I like it?” I say, a little perturbed. “It’s comfy, I can fight in it, and it’s all black so it’s good for concealing myself.”

“Okay, okay. I appreciate how early you are! Your enthus- wait! You are early right? I didn’t miss lunch again did I?!”

I chuckle a little, “relax, yes, I’m early. I was just going for a run before lunch. You didn’t miss anything.”

She heaves a noticeable sigh of relief and returns to her work. I decide to make myself comfortable and watch.

As I’m watching the scene unfold, I hear one of the only voices I’ve come to recognize.

“Oi! Y/n! If you’ve got time to sit you’ve got time to train,” Levi calls to me.

I sit up straighter, but I don’t look at him, afraid that if I do I’ll just lunge at him. I take a deep breath before I slowly turn to look at him. His expression is stoic as ever. I take one more calming breath before yelling back, “I train on my terms, remember? Plus, it’s almost lunch anyway.” I turn back to Hange and Eren and see him crawling out of the titan’s neck.

Holy shit, so there’s an actual person in there.

Once he’s been pulled out and the two start to head towards me, I offer the exhausted looking kid a smile. 

“I’m Y/n, and you must be Eren.” I stick out my hand but his big green eyes only look at it before looking back at my face. Somewhat coldly, he says, “yeah, I know.”

Rather taken aback, I slowly lower my hand and opt to look straight ahead as I offer a weak apology, “sorry, I didn’t realize you don’t shake hands with people when you meet them for the first time here.”

“Oh no,” Hange quips and I turn to her. “We do, he’s just being rude.”

I open my mouth to say something but I’m too stunned for any words to come out. At least she told me the truth. I hear Eren mumble something about not being rude under his breath and I realize I recognize his voice too. 

Before I can stop myself, the words come flying out, “Oh! You’re the kid that I could hear whining when you were in the woods the other day!” As soon as I say it, I want to suck the words back in but Hange laughs and, like a ghost, Levi seems to appear on the other side of Eren and snort too. 

I can see the kid’s temper flare as he yells back at me “Oh yeah?! Well you’re the freak that uses magic bullshit to ‘heal’ people! I think it’s a crock of shit and I think you’re dangerous!”

I smile at his outburst as we enter the mess hall. The four of us get in line and I can see that he’s flustered by the fact that he didn’t get a rise out of me. I shrug and say, “Well, you’re at least partially right. I am dangerous, but I have no intention of harming you or anyone else here,” I wink at him as he stares blankly. “There’s nothing ‘magical’ about my waterbending though. I simply manipulate water the same way people have done for thousands of years.”

My dismissal seems to shut him up. I see that he grabs different items than Hange and so I try to copy him. When we sit down, Levi disappears again and this time some kids sit with us, I’m guessing friends of Eren. Armin sits directly across from me and I grin at him again.

Hange can’t sit quietly for long, so she starts in “you say people have been bending water for thousands of years? Who was the first water bender? How did people discover they could do it? How did the first people learn?”

I smile as I listen to her questions and take a bite of my meal.

Hm, I think I like Eren’s picks better than Hange’s. I’ll have to remember this.

I look up, about to start, when I see multiple pairs of eyes on me. I chuckle and begin answering Hange’s questions.

“Well, it’s kind of complicated. Each of the elements learned from what we all call the ‘original benders.’ For earth benders it was the badger moles, for fire benders the dragons, and for air benders it was the flying bison. Water bending is weird in that the original bender isn’t an animal but rather the moon. People learned to water bend by mimicking the push and pull of the tide and since this is controlled by the moon’s pull on the earth and the ocean, people were basically just copying the moon. For that reason, water bending is actually stronger at night and strongest during a full moon. Conversely, I lose the ability to bend at all during an eclipse.”

When I look back up, everyone looks at me confused. “Okay, which part was unclear? I can explain something better depending on what you don’t understand.”

Hange answers immediately, “Y/n, nothing you said made sense. It sounds like you were speaking a different language. Dragons aren’t real and what the hell is a ‘badger mole’ or a ‘flying bison?’ And once you explain that, do you mind telling us what a tide is?”

Before I can start, Armin excitedly speaks up, “A tide is the ocean water hitting land! I’ve read about it! Are you saying you’ve seen the sea?!” His childlike curiosity makes me grin again. 

“Yeah, you’re exactly right. And yes, not only have I seen the sea, I’ve been swimming in it more times than I can count. I’m from the Northern Watertribe. It’s the farthest North you can go…or at least, that’s what people from my world think. We also think the Fire Nation is the farthest West you can go but I ended up here somehow so clearly we don’t know as much as we think we do.

“Anyway, badger moles are basically these big blind idiots that live underground. They use earth bending to feel their way around and it basically acts as their eyes. Flying bison are almost extinct, but the one that’s left belongs to my friend. His name is Appa and he’s probably as big as this room. He’s extremely fluffy and has six legs and a tail that can generate as much wind as a tornado.

“As for dragons, they definitely do exist. It was thought that they were hunted to extinction by firebenders at the beginning of the 100 year war but my friend Aang - the same person that owns Appa - encountered and learned from the last two dragons in the world.”

It seems like I’ve managed to mesmerize these kids and even Eren seems to have completely forgotten his anger towards me from moments ago.

With a slap of her legs, Hange declares, “Alright! Enough talking! Y/n, you ready to show us what you’ve got?”

And with that, we stand up and head to the training field.

[melodystone57]

Chapter 4: Into the Abyss

Sitting up in bed, sweat falling down my face. My breaths were ridged and short. Tears started joining together at the corners of my eyes. I swung my legs to the side of the bed and onto the floor. The coldness helped soothe my senses, but not all the way. My hands shaking in terror, I placed them as softly as I could on the bed to try and push myself to my feet.

“Green Lantern Rory, I noticed your hormones and heart rate are tremendously high. Do you require assistance?” Aya asked over the speaker in my room. 

“No thank you Aya, I’m fine,” I said walking over to my desk and sitting in the chair with my legs crossed in my seat. Closing my eyes I tried to control my breathing but all I saw was darkness and him. The man who made my life a living Hell. I couldn't stand just sitting there, not when all I could think about was my brother.

I sat in silence for so long, just staring at the wall barely blinking. 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Breaking out of my trance I look towards the door and make my way to it.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Standing in front of the door, I took a deep breath and opened the door. 

“ Hey, are you ok?” Hal asked as he looked at me. He was dressed in flannel pajama pants and a regular t-shirt color black and green. Of course, he kept his signature mask on. I could tell his eyebrows were pinched in worry and he must have been crestfallen.

“Yes, Hal, I'm ok?”I tried to reassure him while walking out of my room in my uniform. A hand gently placed itself on my shoulder, stopping me from moving.

“I'm not sure about that Rory. You know I'm he..”

“THANK you, Hal but I’m fine, now can you please let go of my shoulder?” I said forcefully as I moved forward and out of his grasp. I continued walking till I got to the food storage and pulled out the sushi food capsule. I grabbed the chopsticks it came with and headed to the dining/meeting room. Once the door opened, I saw Razer sitting at the in-floor booth eating what looked to be a blue stake. I walked over towards him and sat on his right side, leaving plenty of room for Hal and Kilowog if they decided to eat.

“Good Morning Razer.” I said. However, all I got was a soft grunt in response. But it was better than nothing. I settled in by opening the soy sauce, and wasabi packet and mixing it in the sauce dish. Once it was the right consistency I opened the food capsule and pulled out a rainbow roll, spicy tuna roll, salmon roll, and California roll. Once everything was set to how I liked it I opened the chopsticks and dug in. After two rolls a voice interrupted the shared silence.

“What is that?” Razer asked curiously as he eyed the assortment of rolls in front of me. 

“ This is Sushi. Sushi is a staple rice dish of a cuisine, consisting of cooked rice flavored with vinegar and a variety of vegetable, egg, or raw seafood or fish garnishes and served cold” I replied looking at him “Would you like to try one?” I asked.

“No thank you.” He replied as he went back to his steak and I to my Sushi. A few minutes passed before the door opened and Kilowog entered. He bumped Razer's left shoulder on his way to sit on my left side.

“Ah, grub time.” Kilowog said before burying his face his food that resembled worms. I looked away and back at my food seeing as I had grown used to his eating behavior by now. I finished up my food and began to clean up any mess I made.

“You got a problem poozer” 

I looked up a kilowog confused, thinking he was talking to me. Only to find he wasn't looking at me at all but instead Razer. 

“Only that I dislike 7-foot pigs” Razer barked back. Kilowog grew angry and grabbed Razer by the cuff of his uniform top and pulled Razer closer to himself across the table. 

“Whoa whoa whoa. Break it up you two.” I said as I jumped to my feet and pushed both of them as far as I could from each other. “ this ship is too small to be trying to play WWE in here.”

“Oh come on we were just fooling around. Right?” Kilowog seethed with clenched teeth and stared down Razer. Razer said nothing in return. He instead chose to stare down Kilowog as well. 

“Alright look you two, we are a team and you two need to start acting like it. There is an old earth custom that we use to dispute differences.” I explained looking at both of them. They raised their fist and shook them in the air. Shaking my head in exasperation, I placed my hands on the first and brought them back down.

“Not like that.”

“ Attention. Incoming Distress Call “ Aya rang out over the PA. 

“ Put it on Aya,” Hal responded behind me. Jumping slightly I looked behind me to make sure he was real. He looked at me in a questioning stance. I looked away from him so that I didn’t have to deal with explaining anything.

“This is Captain Goray of the container ship Turbadon.” A man explained as Aya brought up the 

Holograph of him. “I’ve struck a pinhole and am unable to proceed. One of my engines has failed and the other one is a full capacity but it's only slowing the inevitable. Please I need Help!”

“Aya hold the transmission,” Killowog said.

 The hologram closed into a straight line. Kilowog turned to me and Hal.

“Could be a trap. We get there the disabled ship pops up and reds start pouring out.”

“There are no red lanterns in this sector,” Razer spoke up “It's not a trap.”

“Are you sure razer?” I asked looking at him.

“Positive. I was in charge of setting those traps.”

Turning away and looking towards the call I could faintly hear Kilowog mumble “Great”.

“Aya reactivate the call,” I said,” Captin Goray, I am Green Lantern Rory of the Green Lantern Corp. My team and I have received your location and help is on the way.”

We all moved into the cock pit and sat in our designated spots. Me in the middle manning the navigation panel, Kilowog on my left handling the weapons system, Razer on my right monitoring communication and the ship's systems, and Ha steering the ship. We started heading east of where we originally were.

“I’ve got two questions. A, How far is the pinhole?” Hal asked. I could feel him looking at the back of my head.

“Ten thousand feet and closing” I replied not looking up for the navigation panel so that we were ensured that we were heading to the right place.

“ Thank you, now B, What a pinhole?”

I went to answer but Razer beat me to it.

“ It is a microscopic black hole at the center of a whirlpool of energy. The closer the ship gets to the pinhole, the stronger the gravitational pull becomes.”

I turned in my seat and faced Hal.

“The closer the ship gets the faster the ship will compress till it is the size of a single french fry.” I replied backing up Razer's statement. 

Five minutes later we were able to spot the ship.

“That's close enough aya, we don't want to be pulled in too.” Hal said,” Deploy the retractor beam”

Following his orders, the beam was shot out but curved down into the pinhole. Luckily she stopped it before it pulled us further in.

“Anomalous gravitational readings are infecting my systems. Unable to compensate.” Ayay commented.

 “ razer is the transmission still open?” I asked

He nodded yes and reactivated the call.

“ Captin do you have any tow cables?”

“Deploying them now.” The captain replied. Three cables shot out towards us from under the ship. However, they were also pulled towards the pinhole.

“oops missed,” Goray commented.

“We're gonna have to go out there and attach the beams manually. Razer, kilowog follow me. Rory stay on the ship and make sure nothing happens.” I nodded at him and Razer and Kilowog walked with Jordan to the landing doors.

“ Anomalous gravity always puts a bug in my britches.” Kilowog grumbled on his way to the doors. 

“ If you don't think you are up to the task..” Razer teased before the door closed and I could no longer hear their argument. I walked over towards Razer station and opened up a com line so that I could catch every word and stay updated. Looking out towards the ship I saw all three of them heading towards the cables.

“ Quite the downdraft.” razer yelled over some sort of noise. It was hard to figure out what it was over the coms. I walked over to Hal's seat, just in case the ship needed to be moved.

“That's a downdraw. If you don't make it over the gravity whirlpool your dark matter.” Kilowog explained also yelling.

All of them grabbed a cable and started heading back. Razer started struggling. 

“ Aya open a privet link with Hal.” a small blue light appeared on the screen next to his name.

“ Hal Razer is falling behind I'm not sure he’ll make it.” Hal looked over at Razer and moved to help him. They all made it towards the ship and attached it at the bottom.

“ Alright Rory, haul this baby out,” Hal said over the public com. I grabbed the winch and slowly pulled it backward so that I didn't strain the cables. Red started showing up on the screen.

“ Warning, Gravitational pull is too intense. Cables can not withstand the strain.” Aya Warned.

I let go of the winch immediately but kept the ship where it was. 

“ It should be stable for now. But sooner or later I'm tellin' ya it's goin' in.” Kilowog said.

“We have to get the captain ourselves,” Hal ordered and started heading back to the ship while the other two followed. Moving towards the door Hal blasted it open and climbed straight in it. Kilowog followed so did Razer but with a struggle. Once all of them were inside the door closed.

“ Aya turn on the heat vision, ring monitors, and health monitors, as well as set up a scanning perimeter around us in case of an attacker,” I ordered as I moved from Hal’s seat towards mine as all of the systems were brought up. The windshield dimmed down and showered two green and 1 red little body. 

“How’s it looking in there guys?” I asked looking at the ship.

“We're good,” Hal Answered “ heading to retrieve the captain now. We‘ll let you know what we…” he was interrupted by an unknown voice.

“Down here!”

I watched as the 3 dots moved further into the ship

“Thank grollmother, you’re here,” the voice said. “ I’m a t half power and have no way to pull myself out.”

“Kilowog who is that talking?” I asked him privately.

“ Captain Goray” I nodded to his answer and listened back in on the main conversation

“ What exactly are you hauling” Hal asked. Floating over to Razers Station, I started typing in the information that we obtained on the ship and initiated a galaxy search.

“ Eggs. Better yet survival of species eggs. These fellas are the last of their kind” I explained after reading over the shipment logs.

“ Leave them. With refrigeration out, they're gonna spoil anyways.” the captain said.

“ spoil? It’s a matter of time before those things hatch. They are nearing the end of the egg phase.” I retorted back.

“Hatch?” 

“Rory, is there any way to tell what species they are?” Hal asked.

Looking deeper into the documents “ No. There is nothing in any of the logs that say what they are or where they're from.”

“What about the environment they're set at right now?”

“There are too many species that have the same eggs and incubation patterns to be able to tell,” I explained.

“ Who cares.” Razer’s voice rang out “Only vermins and insects hatch from an egg.”

“ I hatched from an egg.” Kilowog defended. 

“ My point exactly”

“ enough you two. The only thing we know about them is that they are the last of their species.” I said interrupting the two arguments.

“ captain was there any special instructions that you were given?” Hal asked

“ just to avoid major shipping lanes.”

“ that you did. Change of plans was saving every single life form on this ship.” Hal informed

“ why? It's a waste of time.” Razers pointed out.

“ If that's the case razer, then what are we doing here?” I asked

“The boys right, the Starboard engines dead.” the captain explained.

“ so then we restart it. KIlowog, Razer I'm sending the schematics to you to restart the engine.” I ordered, “ Hal bring the captain to the interceptor and then head back to them.” the tree dots separated from 3 into 1 and 2.

I watched one red and one green dot move towards the engine and the other green dot head towards the door of the ship.

“Aya open the hatch doors, please. How much longer can we keep the cargo ship from going in?”

“3 hours, 20 minutes, and 16 seconds.”

“Good that should be plenty of time.”

“Plenty of time for what?” Hal asked as he walked into the cock pit escorting the captain in tow.

“Getting everything set and ready to leave before we all go into the pinhole,” I replied, turning in my seat towards them.

“I’ve heard of you green Lanterns. I know you're brave and all, but you’re crazy to go back.” the captain said walking further in.

“ Brave, Crazy….It's a fine line” Hal joked looking at me.

“ Green Lantern Hal Jordan, I have several suggestions’ to converse energy until the inoperative engine is repaired,” Aya said as her orb descended from the ceiling.

“Yeah, that's great Aya. Keep us out of the crush zone for as long as you can,” he said as he walked out of the room back to the cargo ship.

“ He must not have heard me.”

“ So, what is it that you do?” The captain asked me as I turned to him.

“ What do you mean?”

“Well, you are here while the others are out there.”

I chuckled with understanding.” I'm sort of the captain/peacekeeper/soldier.” I explained as I counted down everything with my hands.

“wow, that's a lot.” I turned back around to the screen.

“You have no idea” I mumbled,” Aya patch into Razer and Kilowog private line.”

Statics and silence mixed together for a brief moment before I heard voices.

“ This way. That's the main power line.” I heard Razer informing Kilowog

“ As if you know how a cargo ship works.it's not some red lantern death ride made out of lead foil and scrap wire. And stay in front of me.”

“ ease up on him Kilowog. He's trying to be nice and to change.” I said interrupting their foul mood. I got no response in return.

“How's that phony ring holding up?” Kilowog asked.

“Without a Red Lantern Battery, Eventually its charge will die.”

“Huh, the sooner the better.”

“But for now as long as I feel rage, it’s as strong as yours.”

Silence ensued as I watched the red and green dot move closer to the engine.

“Woah.” Kilowog's voice rang out.”I hope you’re good at mad, killer.”

“That wasn't me. This ship is falling to pieces and I’m sick of your self-righteous braying you fat, green oaf!”

I could hear fighting over the line, but I didn't bother to try and stop them. Maybe fighting each other will get everything out of their systems.

“You kids stop that now, or I’m turning this ship around,” Hal said

“ Isn’t that exactly what we're trying to do?” Razer asked sarcastically.

“Try something like that again, and I'm blowing my ring charge on you. Pinhole or no Pinhole” Kilogos threatened Razer.

“I’m not afraid to die.”

“You should be able to live longer,” Hal said.

Sitting at the monitor I made sure everything was normal with the ship when the power went out.

“What the Hell? Aya what happened?” I asked. I looked out the window and saw us slowly moving towards the pinhole. I ran over to all the monitors to see what was wrong. The captain started pushing buttons on his usual seat.

“ Hello? Can you hear me?” the captain asked over the coms “ Start the engine now, or both ships are going in.”

“Goray, Rory, why is the computer offline? Aya, are you there? Aya!” Hal asked.”What happened to her?”

“ I don't know but we're running out of time. Without Aya maintaining ship levels regarding the cables we're slowly being pulled in along with you guys.” I replied as I moved between stations to provide a solution. Suddenly I fell backwards by gravity and I looked over at the captain to see that he was moving the ship and pulling us backwards.

“Wait, captain. Ease of that winch.”

He didn't listen and just kept going to the point where the cables disconnected and we went flying forwards within the ship. Standing up from the floor, I witnessed the cargo ship getting closer and closer to the pinhole.

“Move!” I yelled as I ran over to the steering console. Flying us back to our original position parked us there and tried to figure out what to do next. I noticed a little green light outside of the ship moving towards the cables. They grabbed them as they flew higher up and made a jet back to help pull the ship out of the pinhole.

“what's happening out there?” I asked. 

“Simple, I'm pulling the ship out of the threshold as long as I can,” Kilowog answered.

“ Let's try and see if we can connect it back to the ship,” I suggested.

“And leave the captain alone in there. No thanks. Bring the ship closer and try to spell me, my ring is running low.”

Moving the ship closer and turning it around I position the engine as close to Kilowog as possible. Looking over at the ring status bar, I saw Kilowog's ring power going up. 2 minutes passed when Hal and Razer came out of the ship.

“ Hal, Razer try aiming your rings down and shooting a strong beam. It should propel you to where you need to go.” I said. Following my suggestion, they moved faster to the door close to the engine. Once they were there, they opened the door and went in. I connected to Razer and Hal’s coms.

“More hatchlings.” razer said, “were already outnumbered. Think of how bad it’ll be once the rest of the eggs open.”

“Look, I have no problem bringing a red lantern onto the team, but I will not tolerate pessimists.”

“ They’ve doomed us all.” 

“ Now what?”

“This engine isn't offline it's frozen solid. Those alien hatchlings ate through the power lines that power the heaters! It would take a team of engineers to restart it before we collapse into the pinhole.”

“We don't have a team of engineers or time.”

“Razer let's light this candle.”

“You want us to fire a frozen engine? The explosion will be spectacular.”

“ He's right Hal.” Kilowog interrupted

“ If we start going in, Kilowog I want you to cut us loose.” the former replied.

“Not happening. You go we all go and the worst part, Rory is left with the captain on the interceptor who can't fly straight”

“Your stubborn friend is right.” Razer agreed, “ I can't fix this, not without another pair of five hands.”

“We're not giving up. Yell about the unfairness afterwrard's.”

“Then we’ll go down fighting. At least my red energy makes a dent in them.”

“That's right. Green energy doesn't affect them.” 

 Sitting in thought I began to realize what he truly meant and what was happening.

“ Wait, Stop. Maybe we can get you those ten hands, Razer. Hal open the door.” I said before anything happened.

“ What are you two doing!?”

“Those things didn't come from the eggs. They came from the interceptor. They're Aya.”

“You’re deranged.”

“ Aya’s been gone since before the bugs showed up. Somehow she must have put herself into those little bots and snuck on board.”

“But they ate the power lines.”

“She was shutting down non-essential systems to save power.”

“Bothe engines are up.”

“Aya full reverse!” Hal ordered

 The engine turned around and started back up. Pushing them out of the crush zone all the way. Kilowog finally grew exhausted once the pressure was relieved of him. He started falling forward.

“Even with both engines running, we're past the point of no return,” Razer warned.

“I live past the point of no return. Express elevator going down.”

Before I had a chance to get someone's attention Razer opened a door and caught Kilowog before it was too late, pulling him into the ship.

“Not a bad shot for a red.” Kilowog thanked.

 The front portion of the ship disconnected and fell into the Pinhole.

“We don't have enough power to pull away!” Razer warned

“I'm not trying to pull away. I’m gonna fly this baby right at it.” Hal explained,

“You're going to what?!”

“If I can fly with the current of the pinhole, maybe I can generate enough velocity to slingshot us out of here.”

The ship moved forward and both engines rotated backwards. The ship fell further and further in until it lay against the inner shell and started following the current. The engines went to full power and moved the ship faster and faster. Looping again and again it moved farther from the inside of the vortex towards the outside. lifting up it slingshoted out.

“Yeah, baby. Still got it”

The ship flew past the interceptor towards a safer place. I guided the interceptor to follow.

Sitting in the lounge area with the captain, we waited until the guys walked in with a couple of the actual hatchlings, along with the bots. Walking over to us, Razer sat next to me, and Hal next to the captain. 

“Well, what do you know? So that's my cargo.” the Captain commented.

“Cargo, huh? Look at you.” Kilowog replied giving the chin scratches to the babies. Droll fell onto razor's head from them, growing annoyed he looked at them in anger before I put my hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

“There's a few more of these rascals running around the tub of yours.”

“And to think I was gonna abandon them.” 

We escorted the captain and his new friends back on his ship and helped him continue his original route. Once he was all set we went back to our seats in silence.

“You were foolishly brave today” Razer complemented Kilowog.

“Right back at ya. Thanks for the save by the way.” razer nodded in respect.

“ And thank you aya we would all be feeling a little cramped right now if it wasn't for you coming out of your shell like that,” said Hal. Aya’s orb descended down in acknowledgment of being called.

“ Yes, like a hatchling from an egg.” I joked earning a side eye from Razer. And all he got was a smug face and a shrug.

“I'm not done. It was also dangerous for you to up and leave your post. We need to set a few parameters, young lady.”

“A green Lantern protects innocent life even at the risk of their own correct.” She retorted.

“ Wait, Wait a minute. Aya you understand you’re a navcom, not a green lantern right? You can't be a G.L.”

“Why Not?” She asked.

“Well... First off, the ring’s gotta pick you.”

“ Why?”

“Help me out.” he looked at all three of us.

“ oh no. No. I want to hear this.”Hal said 

“ Nope,” I replied

“Red?” 

“ Leave me out of it.”

“Look, Green Lanterns positively gotta have a physical body to walk around and interact with people. Not a bunch of creepy bugs.”

“ Parameters set.” 

Ayas went back into the ceiling as four hatched open and the bus fell down and a body began to form from the bugs that showed on the cargo ship. Once the body was ready green energy flowed into it and a face formed in the head.

“ Body like this?”

Kilowog groaned in defeat.

“ damn, aya you go, girl,” I said as I got up and walked out of the room to mine.

“ Hey wait up.” a voice called from behind. Turning around it was Hal walking towards me.

“Look I don't know what going on with you or what happened this morning. But just know we're here for you,” he said with his hands on my arms.

“ I know it's just that certain things... Showed up from my past,” I said as I looked at the floor.

“You

r brother?”

I looked up in shock.

“ How did you..?”

“ I asked Aya to pull up all records of you because I was concerned. And I know what it's like to have been in your shoes. Just know I'm here. Even if you can talk to the others.” he said looking deep into my eyes. I finally understood how people can just melt in his presence. 

“ thanks hal…. Can I…. maybe …. Or?” I stuttered.

“ Yeah, kid come on.”He understood immediately. And started walking to his room with me. The door opened and I saw it was the exact same as mine. We moved towards and lay on the bed with me on his chest and his arm around me. And for the first time in a while, I felt completely safe.

[shorkbrian]

I swear I ain’t in it for the money, but I can’t stop thinking about sugar daddy shoto. Maybe he sweeps a cute little college kid or barista of their feet, just something fun and casual. But this man starts falling harder, needing a way to lock them down to him. Money isn’t quite cutting it anymore, so he decides fucking a baby into her would do the trick. Shoto would push her down into the mattress, large frame twisting her into a sweet mating press. This way they could stay together forever and Shoto would have absolutely no problem providing for his sweet family <3

but fr tho I feel like Shouto is NOT the type for kids.

Mans will tolerate them when they babble or wave at him, but he very actively Does Not Want them.

Always uses condoms, and even though he’ll threaten not to, it’s never a legit thought in his mind to cum inside. Shouto doesn’t want to be a dad.

-----

You’ll be sittin on a park bench, fading sunset dark and pretty in front of you yet all you can do is cry. There’s not really any people around so it’s not like you’re bothering anyone - you hadn’t wanted to cry in your shabby apartment (half the cause of your worries) just in case you received a noise complaint.

“Are you alright?”

A somber, smooth voice is heard. You’re swiping at your tears quickly as you look up, trying to laugh off your state of distress. “Oh, haha, yeah I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” It’s hard to smile with your puffy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.

The man in front of you frowns, hands in his coat pockets, scarf draped around his neck. “You don’t look fine. Mind if I sit?”

He’s already claiming the spot next to you on the bench before you can say a word, turning to you with a passive expression. “Why are you crying?”

And that’s all it takes to have you breaking down all over again, tears streaming down your face. Just one person offering to listen to the heavy burden you have to bear.

‘’M sor-sorry...” You sob, wiping at your eyes with frigid fingers, successful in doing nothing more but smearing tears around your face.

“Here.” The man’s taking off his scarf, gloved hands offering it you.

“I ca-can’t use your sc-scarf sir.” But he’s insistent, pressing it into your hands up by your face.

“I’ll just get another one. Keep it, you’re in need of it more than I am.”

The kindness makes another fresh bout of tears roll down your cheeks, but this time you're able to dab them away with soft fabric as you sniffle.

It takes a moment for you to calm yourself. When you do, you can finally engage in conversation with the man.

You tell him about your job hours getting cut, how you’ve been turned down or ignored by every single place you’ve applied at for a second job. How you’re barely affording to wash your clothes - you have to hang them or drape them across things in your apartment because you don’t have the money to pay for a dryer cycle.

And to top it all off, you’re still short on rent, despite how you scrimped and saved and even forced yourself not to buy groceries this week - you’ve gone hungry for the past three days.

“You haven’t eaten?”

You glance up at the man and his incredulous expression, shaking your head. “I’ve been trying to save money, I thought I could afford my rent if-”

“What kind of food do you like?” The man is pulling out his phone, swiping and tapping immediately. 

“Thank you, but I’m not-” looking for charity is what you want to say. Plus, you shouldn’t accept favors from strange men.

But the handsome man is waving you silent. “I’m cold, plus I’d like to grab a bite to eat before I head home. I don’t like eating alone though, you’d honestly be doing me a favor.”

You take a moment to process. Is he telling the truth? He sounds like an honest guy.

“Seems like the only place open around here is “Joe’s 24 hour Diner”.... You mind burgers?”

So that's how you end up in a booth opposite the man (”Shouto” he had told you as you both headed to the diner), munching away at warm food. It tastes so good, you hardly have time to worry about the man watching you as he eats.

You’d been shocked at his looks the moment you’d seen him in the light of the diner. Pretty two-toned hair, different colored eyes, perfect skin, expensive clothes. Why was he even talking to you? It’s obvious the two of you led very different lives.

“How does everything taste?”

“Delicious.” Is your response, and Shouto seems pleased, nodding before taking another bite of his meal.

Maybe it’s stupid... but you feel weirdly safe with this man. He doesn’t seem to bear any ill-intent towards you, nor has he made any comments about your body or let his hands or eyes stray. He seems like a gentleman.

Conversation flows easily between the two of you, even sharing a few chuckles at times. He’s some fancy rich businessman, you learn, and you share about your own life, laughing at the comparisons. Shouto can’t fathom growing up in a house with less than five bedrooms and a personal servant.

He asks for your number, and you’re hesitant in giving it - he surely can’t be interested in you? But he seems so sincere, it’s hard to say no.

When the two of you part ways, Shouto gives you a wave, “Hope to see you again soon, and under better circumstances.”

“You too! And sorry for being such a mess and stopping your walk-”

Shouto shrugs, cheeks beginning to pink from the cold air as you two stand outside the diner. “You needed help. I like to assist.”

-----

The next morning you wake to find an atrociously large sum deposited in your Venmo account by none other than a Shouto Todoroki.

Immediately, you’re calling him. “It’s too much, we just met. How can you give away that much money to some low-life?”

You hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. “You’re obviously struggling. I was wondering what your hours are this week, perhaps we could talk about this over dinner? Or lunch, if that fits better with your schedule. I’m flexible.”

It’s a few days later, days spent questioning yourself, questioning his intentions, before you see him again, both of you deciding to meet for lunch to further discuss... whatever had just happened.

“Was what I gave you adequate to cover your rent?” Are the first words out of Shouto’s mouth after you greet each other.

“Yeah, more than enough-” You squirm. “But I need to ask.... why?”

“Why?”

“Why me.” 

“Oh.” Shouto’s expression clears. “That’s easy. I told you a few days ago - I like to assist. I’m quite lonely, and it feels nice to use my money on someone other than myself. I think providing for someone brings me... I wouldn’t quite say joy, but... contentment.”

You contemplate his answer for a moment. 

“Well... you saved me with my rent, I don’t really know how to thank you.”

The man leans forward. “Well.... I know it might be a bit sudden, but how would you feel accepting me as a.... benefactor of sorts?”

“You mean like a sugar daddy?” Is your immediate, blurted response. You want to slap yourself for speaking before you have the chance to think about your words, but luckily Shouto just lets out a light laugh.

“If you’d like to call it that. I’m willing to provide financial assistance for you, in exchange for companionship, if you’re willing to give it.”

Your face heats up as you drop your eyes, fidgeting nervously in your seat. “I don’t feel comfortable with a... a sexual relationshi-”

“That’s perfectly acceptable.” Shouto cuts you off before you can continue. “I wasn’t trying to insinuate a contract of that nature. I’m thinking more along the lines of accompanying me at meals, sharing experiences with me, providing company and friendship to a lonely man. If it seems that we’d like to progress further than that after we get to know each other, well, that will be addressed then. For now-” Shouto meets your eye, dipping his head a smidgeon so he can look at you directly. “All I ask for is a simple, non-intimate bond between two people.”

This is crazy.

And yet you accept.

The situation may be wild, and completely absurd, but you’d be a fool not to say yes.

Shouto is charming and handsome, respectful, courteous - you could go on and on about his positive qualities. He just seems like a sad, lonesome man swallowed by work and responsibilities, too stressed and busy to put the effort into making friends the conventional way. 

-----

Months pass by.

You’re eating at every meal, sated and never going hungry. You’re able to move into a new place, one that doesn’t smell like cigarettes and sits right next to a railroad.

Clothes aren’t a worry anymore, you have your own washer and dryer in your new apartment (Shouto offered to buy you a house, or a penthouse at the least, but you couldn’t justify it to yourself). You’re able to afford new things, and pretty dresses, shoes that are comfortable and fashionable and that fit.

You no longer have to wear clothes down until they have holes in them. You’re able to go to the doctor’s when you feel sick, able to pay for health insurance.

Life is good.

Shouto is a personable man, serious, but he can be rather funny and even crude at times.

The doubt and thoughts of “Why is he doing this for me?” and “I’m not good enough for this.” plague you, but Shouto always seems to catch on, reassuring you that you’re exactly what he needs - a friend.

And you’re more than happy to be that.

You think sometimes, that even if he wasn’t paying you, you’d still like to be friends with Shouto Todoroki.

Until he starts acting weird.

“You should just stay at my place. I have more than enough room,, it’d be easier for both our schedules. We’d get to see each other more often.”

“Uhm...” You don’t really know what to say. You like your freedom, and having your own place where you can walk around in your (expensive) underwear without being bothered.

“I think it’d be nice, don’t you? We could have breakfast every morning, you wouldn’t have to worry about traveling to and fro, we could spend more time together. We don’t see each other nearly enough.”

He’s pushing, insistent. How are you supposed to tell him no? He’s paying for your entire life. Plus, it wouldn’t be that bad to actually live with him. Shouto’s an amicable man.

So you move in.

“I bought you a few things, they’re on your bed.” 

Shouto’s striding into the kitchen where you’re making coffee, buttoning up his shirt as he comes closer. You’ve found that the man likes to sleep in nothing but boxers, shrieking and flushing an embarrassing shade the first time he’d come to wake you up with a sweet “welcome” breakfast in bed.

It’s taken a while to adjust, but you finally feel that you’re fully settled in.

“Oh, you really don’t ha-”

“I wanted to. I went through your closet - your clothes are nice, but your underwear seemed to be lacking.” He’s so matter-of-fact.

All you can do is stare at the back of his head.

“Could you pass me a spoon please?”

-----

Shouto had splurged on expensive, fancy lingerie. 

At least eight different sets were laid out on your bed. It was overwhelming. It also felt.... a bit intrusive? They were all in your size, in a complementary color for your skin tone. 

Weird.

Not as weird as the onset of Shouto’s casual touches.

You’d be reading, or drinking tea and watching cars race by on the street so far below, and Shouto would come up behind you, caress your sides before intertwining his fingers with yours on one hand. He did it as if it was a normal thing, but it felt anything but normal.

Or you’d be on the couch together, and Shouto would shuffle closer until his large body was pressed to yours, almost curled around you. The faux-cuddling was a bit more off putting. How do you tell him no?

The touches became more and more intimate, Shouto’s gifts more and more frequent until you weren’t even spending a penny, the man taking care of everything.

The arrangement was beginning to make you uncomfortable.

Shouto’s bi-colored eyes seemed to always be on you, tracing the shape of your body, watching you move, or breath, or sit. It was distracting, and you felt bad for feeling this way towards the man who’d pulled you out of poverty, but it was so unnerving.

He seemed to notice.

“You’ve been so stressed these past few days. Is something wrong?” Shouto’s rubbing a hand into your shoulder, hovering over you at the dinner table.

“No?” Is all you can manage, wiping your hands on your napkin as you finish your food.

Shouto frowns. With a sigh, his hand drops from your shoulder and the man leaves your side, heads toward the kitchen.

You clear your plate from the table, following after him so you can wash it and put it in the dishwasher before you head off to get ready for bed. 

But Shouto is rummaging in a cupboard, pulling down two wine glasses to accompany the bottle of wine that’s standing proud on the island.  It’s your favorite, a sweet wine that Shouto knows you like, always brings it out when he decides to drink whisky or bourbon after dinner.

He pops the cork and pours you a glass while you finish with your dishes, handing you the glass when you turn away from the sink, pressing it into your hands. “Let’s relax a little bit, it’ll be good for both of us.”

You’re fine with that, knowing that a little wine won’t hurt you, especially when it’s of such fine quality. You’d never dreamed that you’d be able to taste such richness in your lifetime, spend frivolous amounts of money on wine and fine eateries. Yet here you are.

Shouto pours himself a glass, barely a sip filling the bottom. The man raises it to his lips and takes a swig, grimacing a bit in his flat, unexpressive way. You giggle a little.

“Too sweet?’

The man nods, setting the glass back down. “I’m not entirely sure how you can stand to stomach it. But if it makes you happy-” He shrugs, before pulling on of the bar-stools out from under the island so he can sit facing you, long legs stretching out before him.

You look at him, and he looks at you, and then you take another sip of wine to avoid the awkwardness.

“You’re distancing yourself from me.”

The accusation is quiet, Shouto’s eyes focused on your fingers wrapped around the stem of the glass.

He’s always been straightforward with his words. “Is there a reason you keep drawing away?”

The wine disappears from your glass, sliding down your throat and settling in your stomach. You fill your glass again before speaking, struggling to find the right words without upsetting your... benefactor.

“Well, Shouto... I don’t really know how to...” You trail off, hoping Shouto will say something, change the subject, say it’s alright and move on to something else.

But the man stays silent, eyes appraising you.

Taking a deep breath, and another gulp of sweetness, you try again.

“Sometimes the closeness... like, physical closeness? Makes me, well, uncomfortable.”

Hopefully, that would satisfy his curiosity for now. That wasn’t the only reason you’d been avoiding Shouto seeming distant, but you didn’t think sharing the others would result in anything good.

Said man accepted your response, dropping his eyes to his lap as he mulled it over. More wine was consumed, glass re-filled. You felt nervous.

“You’re saying that my touch isn’t something you’d prefer.”

Biting your lip, you soften at his confused expression, at the hint of sadness swimming behind his eyes. “Kind of. I don’t mind you Shouto, you’re really kind, and you’re good company, and a wonderful friend. I just don’t think the.... the intimacy is for me.”

Shouto raises his head, stares at you with those pretty eyes, lips parted as he comes to terms with your words. 

“It sounds like you don’t trust me. I would never hurt you, you know this.”

You scramble to assure him. “I do! I do trust you, and I know you wouldn’t.” (at least you hoped) “But I guess I just... Coming into this agreement I wasn’t ready for that type of... thing. I don’t know if I ever will be.”

The man rises, shakes his head as he steps closer to you. “Don’t worry, I remember our first conversation about that aspect. I see that for you, that type of relationship would only begin after you really cared for the other person, trusted and wanted to see them happy, am I correct?”

“Oh, Shouto-” You rush. “No, I care for you, and I trust you, and of course I want to see you happy. I think it’s just, y’know, my last relationship like that went really bad, and it sucked. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Shouto nods, understanding. “I see. You don’t have to worry about any of that with me then.”

A smile crosses your face, and you feel relived that he accepted your rejection with grace and understanding instead of violence or anger. “Thank you, it means a lot to me.”

The mood of the room shifted, from tense and uncomfortable, to easy and light, and you poured another glass of wine, laughing a little at how worried you were about the conversation with Shouto, only for it all to turn out fine.

“I’m going to go drink some of the liquor that’s kept in my room. I could mix a few drinks for you to try, you might like how sweet they are. I know hard alcohol isn’t quite your thing.”

You beam a smile, nodding your head eagerly. Before, you’d feel apprehensive about going into his room with him to drink alcohol. But with the conversation the two of you just had, you knew - things would be fine.

-----

The room was spinning and you felt giddy and light. You were definitely tipsy.

“You can lay down on my bed, you’re getting wobbly on your feet.” Shouto had offered, and you’d gladly accepted, flopping down onto his comfy bedspread with a laugh at how the motion made butterflies rise in your tummy.

Shouto leaned against his dresser, swirling whiskey in his glass as he watched you, a half-smile across his face. You smiled back, before closing your eyes, a little bit tired as you realized that you might be a bit more than just tipsy.

Shouto had mixed quite a few drinks for you, and you’d drank each one eagerly, impressed with how little alcohol you could taste in each one. You don’t remember how many you had, but it didn’t really matter.

The next thing you know, hands are on your waist, scooting you further up the bed so your legs no longer hang off the edge. Cracking open an eye, you’re met with the visage of red-and-white, eyes soft and warm as they regard you, Shouto’s face tinged a bit pink from the few drinks he had consumed. The man had never been too good at holding his alcohol.

When those hands started to slip beneath your shirt, you wiggled like a little worm, not really comprehending the situation. Maybe it was a dream.

Your shirt was discarded, then your pants. It felt much more comfortable now, and you mumbled a “thanks” to the man helping you settle for bed. He was so nice, Shouto took such good care of you. You still kind of couldn’t believe the turn your life had taken with him, the good luck pushed into your path.

Someone was kissing you.

With a grunt of surprise, you kissed them back, meeting their feverish pace and trying to keep up, soft lips puckering and pushing against your own with intent. Kissing felt good. You liked kissing.

Then a hand was cupping your face, stroking tenderly over your cheek before it began sliding down, down your neck, into the valley between your breasts, trailing over your bra. It felt funny.

Pushing back for air, you gasped when the hand on your chest started squeezing at you, eyes flying open with the startling, sudden sensation.

Shouto was hovering over you, lips puffy, panting as he stared at you with lusty eyes, an uncharacteristic look on his face. This... this wasn’t supposed to be like this. You knew. Hadn’t the two of you just talked about something... important? Was it important?

You didn’t feel panic until a hand cupped your sex, feeling your skin through your panties.

This wasn’t right.

Alarm bells were ringing, dull and far away, but you didn’t think that Shouto should be touching you in such a way. you should be going to bed.

“Mm, Sho, can you stop?” But your words felt funny on your tongue, and Shouto didn’t stop. Maybe he didn’t hear you.

His hair tickled your chin as the man bent to mouth at your tits, pulling the cups of your bra underneath them so he could feel your hot skin, let his saliva drag slick and wet against your chest. 

Your hands instinctively rooted themselves in his hair as you gasped again, not expecting such a move, tugging lightly at his head to pull him up. Shouto just groaned, teething gently at your breasts and not moving an inch. His hips were grinding against the bed though, as he stood between your spread legs.

Before you knew it, your panties were gone, bra clumsily unclasped and discarded, and you were completely bare. Shouto was undressing before you, struggling with the buttons on his shirt before giving up, easily ripping the fabric of his body with one tug, grumbling.

You didn’t feel so tipsy anymore.

“Shouto, what’re we doing? We shouldn’t be doing this, we need to stop-”

“Stay down.” Was his firm command, a hand splayed across your naked chest and pushing you back into the mattress as you tried to sit up. It made you breathless, the growl in his voice, the dominance emanating from the man. You stayed still.

“This’s gonna make us a stronger couple.” The man slurred, eyes dark and hands wandering, effortlessly keeping you pinned against the bed as he ground his hips forward against the edge. You were getting scared.

“Wait-”

You fell silent as one hand pushed down his pants, his underwear going with them, pink cock bobbing free. He was so pretty down there, and it made sense, all of him was pretty, but you suddenly realized the weight of the situation, what was happening.

“Shouto, no, oh my god. We gotta stop right now, we’re drunk, we’re-we’re-”

“Don’t care. Not gonna let you hide away from me this time.” Shouto shook his head, taking his cock in one hand and giving it a long, slow pump, flushed tip weeping precum and wetting his hand.

“No, no, this is wrong. I don’t want this, I could get pregnant!” You cried, beginning to panic for real, pushing against the one strong hand anchoring you to the bed.

Shouto just chuckled, letting go of his cock to crowd against you, getting up in your face to press a wet finger to your lips, the salty taste of his precum threatening to slip into your mouth unless you kept it shut. “Shhh, shh. If you stay nice and still, if you do what I say, I’ll use a condom.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“You’re gonna listen to me, you always do.” The man nodded to himself, once again dragging his cock against the bed between your legs, as if he couldn’t stop himself. “Or else I’ll fuck you raw.” The finger was pulled from your lips, only to be wagged teasingly in your face. 

You couldn’t believe how he was acting.

“Be nice.”

Shouto tapped your nose with a neatly manicured finger, before groaning as he heaved himself upright, red cock bobbing against his stomach, desperate for attention. The man gave you a look, as if to say “don’t move” before he took his hands off you, heading for his dresser.

Once you saw him pulling out a strip of condoms, you were on your feet, stumbling toward the door.

Although panic had sobered you somewhat, you were still struggling with the effects of the alcohol, so your reaction time was maddeningly slow. Slow enough that you weren’t able to truly fight against Shouto when he grabbed you from behind toned arms wrapping around your middle and heaving you into the air, only to throw you back on his bed.

You were almost sick on the bedspread, world spinning and stomach protesting, but you were able to calm yourself.

But then Shouto was on you, flipping you onto your back, a soft hand pressing against your throat threateningly. 

“You want to have a baby? Want me to cum in you so you’ll get all fat with kids? Hm?” He was so intense, almost choking you, straddling your waist and keeping you pinned. It was too much

You were able to manage a tearful, desperate “No!” despite the hand around your throat, and Shouto backed off, releasing the pressure to instead stroke his hand against the sides of your neck.

“Stop acting like this, it’s the next logical step for us. You said you cared for me, wanna make me happy. This’ll make me happy. I won’t be like the last guy.”

His cock was pressed against your stomach, and you could feel it twitching. Shouto clambered off of you, letting go of your neck so he could grab the condoms he’d tossed on the bed before snatching you up.

“Do what I say and I use these.” He waved them in your face before tearing one off, beginning to open it. 

You stayed still, gazing at him blearily, limbs feeling fuzzy, mind feeling the same.

The condom was rolled onto Shouto’s cock, the man spitting into his palm and giving the latex a few rubs to make it slick before reaching for you.

He dragged you to the edge of the bed - the perfect height for him to fuck you - and you didn’t fight, terrified of his threat. You couldn’t stand the thought of a baby.

(You didn’t know, but neither could he)

“Wanted to do this since I met you.” Shouto mumbled, pushing your panties to the side with a few fingers so he could guide his tip to your hole. “Want you so bad.”

You didn’t know what to think of this side of Shouto. This unreserved, uncareful, slurring mess of a man that loomed before you, gaze dark and wild, limbs everywhere as he groped and squeezed and appreciate the shape of your body.

But he must’ve gotten impatient, because then he was pushing inside.

It hurt, stinging pain rippling up your back and you keened, causing Shouto to pause. One of his hands darted down to wrap around your calf, hauling it up on the bed so he could lean forward and press it to you chest, sinking his cock a few inches deeper.

“You’re gonna take it.” He hissed before messily kissing you, pressed so close together that it was hard to breathe. “I’ll make it feel good after you do.”

[missmonsters2]

today I feel awful... idk my insecurities are taking over me and I just want to curl into a ball and cry. maybe it's my hormones maybe the fact that I weighted myself and found out I gained weight (I can't fit into my jeans 😭) and the fact that I saw my sister in a tight skin dress looking perfect while I'm in my pj's just destroyed my confidence. I need something angsty to read to make me forget about my sad, miserable lffe right now. would you be down in writing sth angsty with nat maybe? you don't have to though. it's fine either way. I really appreciate all of your work and I keep reading on repeat whenever I'm feeling down. makes me cheer up. thank you, van ❤️

It's like we're the same person because I also went to visit my sister recently and my sister has gotten her life together and is living her best hot girl bod while I...let's not go there.

I just want you to know that you're hot as fuck and a body is just a body that we can change with time and effort. We're lit rally in this together. This time next year, we will be rocking the body that makes up happy and we'll be healthy!!! 💘💘

But I will still give you nat angst...but with a happy ending bc I said you deserve a HEA!!

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The Withers of Springtime Bloom

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spring is a time of blooming and when things come back to life. You can't help but notice things that may be causing your relationship with Natasha to wither.

Warnings: self-esteem issues, insecurities about body, relationship with working out and food, seasonal depression. angst with HEA.

Count: 2.1k~

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You're not sure when things changed.

Things change so slowly after all.

Without you noticing, things change and change and change until one day, you do notice.

You notice that Natasha has become quieter, somber.

You notice the lack of date nights and affectionate touches.

You notice that you've let yourself go a little.

You're standing in front of the mirror, staring at your body with a frown. You've gained weight since dating Natasha, but relationship weight gain was normal, wasn't it?

But you remember how Natasha was just as fit as she was before she met you. Sure, she was a superhero, and you were a regular civilian; there was no reason for you to train long hours as Natasha did.

Still...

You turn to the side and peer at yourself in the mirror again.

You can't help but wonder...were you becoming less attractive to her?

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

It had been the beginning of fall when you met Natasha. You loved the season of change and when things turned into warm colors before withering away for winter to come.

Natasha had come like a blessing, and in the winter, she was just warm as the colors of fall. Instead of withering away, she bloomed and invested that warmth in your relationship with her.

Despite always being an early riser to work out, weekends were the days she stayed in bed with you just a little longer. There had been so many breakfasts, lunch, and dinner dates. You found yourself moving things around or neglecting to work around her busy schedule.

Perhaps that was when things began to change. Eating out so often and forgoing working out to spend time with Natasha was what led to this.

Spring has arrived, and things are coming back to life. Yet somehow, your relationship with Natasha was withering away.

"Hey," you greet her as you come home, shopping bags in hand. You bought some more clothes when things felt like they didn't fit comfortably anymore. The experience had been upsetting for you, and you didn't end up buying too much, telling yourself you didn't want to spend too much when you were going to lose the weight.

Natasha was working in her office, peering down over reports, and barely acknowledged you other than with a hum.

"Long day?" You ask her as you put your things away and walk over to her.

"Yeah," Natasha sighed. "Trying to get these reports done since Maria needs them tomorrow."

That had been Natasha's excuse for spending long hours in her office every night for the last two weeks.

You place your hand on Natasha's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze, but she leans to the side as if to readjust herself, but still away from your touch.

The sting immediately comes, but you try to push it down, so it doesn't hurt as bad.

"Right," you say hoarsely, but Natasha stares on at the reports. "I'm just going to get ready for bed. It's been a long day and all. Let me know if you need anything."

Natasha gives you a nod as you leave the room. You feel awkward as you lie in the bed you share with her. You wonder if you're taking up too much space.

There's a pang of something as you try to curl yourself to be smaller and only distantly realizing you've skipped dinner before you fall asleep.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You fall back onto the mat, chest heaving and your lungs burning.

It's been a while since you've worked out, and now you're definitely paying for it with how unfit you are.

The gym is moderately empty with the hour it is. You hate going to a public gym because it always feels like someone is staring, but it's better for strangers to stare than working out at the Compound for people you know to stare at you.

The rational part of you knows that you should just talk to Natasha, but the emotional side of you whispers that you won't like what Natasha has to say, that she might even end it before you've had a chance to change yourself.

When weeks pass, and you weigh yourself again, you almost start crying because you've only lost a couple of pounds.

It's normal, you know it is. You're losing weight at a normal rate, but it's not enough. You know fast weight loss wouldn't make sense for your body but you also feel you don't have half a year to go back to your normal weight.

You sit on the bathroom floor for hours, debating what to do when you hear a quiet knock.

"Sweetheart, are you in there?" Natasha's muffled voice comes through.

You wipe at your eyes furiously as you stand up.

"Y-Yeah," you answer back. "I'm just in the tub soaking."

There's a moment of silence through the door before Natasha answers back, "Alright. Enjoy yourself. Did you want me to order anything specific for dinner?"

"No, it's okay," you tell her. "You order anything you want. I already ate on my way home." You think about the chicken salad you've been eating for the past two weeks and almost sigh.

Natasha answered that she just came back to see if you've eaten, but she actually had to head back to the Compound. You were Natasha shuffling around before leaving through the front door, and you let out the breath you were holding.

You actually take a long, hot shower before putting on sweats and a big hoodie.

The truth was, you were hungry. The chicken salad was okay on the way home, but it had been a couple of hours since.

You knew starving yourself wasn't the answer, so you went into the kitchen to see if you could find something healthy to hold you over until you could go to bed.

But you can't find anything in the fridge except for Natasha's leftovers from whatever she ordered the day before. You can't find anything except frozen pizzas and microwavable foods.

You check the calories on the back and let out a frustrated sigh. Checking your watch, you realize it's too late in the evening to go grocery shopping because, by the time you get there, stores will have closed.

You slump down on the floor, leaning against the cabinets as you let out a pathetic whimper while your eyes became hot with tears.

You miss Natasha. You want Natasha holding you and telling you it would be okay. But you couldn't have that until you were back to what you were when you met her.

The front door suddenly opens.

"Have you seen my—sweetheart?" Natasha started to call before she noticed you sitting on the floor. "What's wrong?"

You use your sleeve to wipe at your eyes as you sit up straight.

"Nothing," you sniffle before you start to stand. "I just stubbed my toe against the edge of the kitchen island. What were you looking for? USB? You left it next to the bedside."

Natasha stares at your back, hair still wet as she takes in your attire.

"It's a little hot to be wearing a hoodie and sweats, isn't it?" Natasha asks softly. "Doesn't seem like you turned on the aircon in here."

You keep walking, but Natasha starts to follow you.

"'m cold," you say quietly so she can't hear the tremble in your voice.

"Are you feeling sick?" Natasha asks with concern as you sit down on the couch, turning on the TV. You pull the blanket over you as if to make your point.

"No," you tell her because you don't want her to worry. "Just cold after a bath."

Natasha sets her things down before she takes a seat next to you. Even in the low lighting, she can see your eyes rimmed red and dampness of them.

You're refusing to look at her as you have your knees drawn up to your chest and stare stubbornly at the TV screen.

Then she hears it.

Your stomach grumbles.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Natasha asks softly again. "We can just order food and stay in tonight."

Your cheeks grow hot. "Don't you have to be at the Compound?"

You don't mean to snap at her, but you can't help but feel embarrassed.

Natasha remains quiet for a moment, quickly thinking over the last few weeks before she feels guilt trickle in.

She doesn't remember the last time she ate with you—doesn't remember the last time she saw you eat.

"Sweetheart," she calls you gently again, and you bristle at the tone. "Is there something wrong?"

The fragile dam you've built to keep the weeks of compiling emotions at bay breaks, and you're hurtling down the stream over the waterfall.

"Are you not in love with me anymore?" You choke out as you begin to cry.

You can't even register to feel horrified at your breakdown because you just need to know.

"I know...I know my body has changed since we first met and I've gained weight but I really am trying to lose it. I just—I feel like you're avoiding me. At first, I thought things at work have been really stressful for you, and I wanted to give you space but you're gone all the time. You're gone even when you're here."

Natasha can barely understand anything you've said after hearing you say the first part. Her breath hitches painfully in the back of her throat, and she legitimately feels appalled at herself.

She starts to say something, but you keep going.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to make this about me because if you're going through something then I want to support and be there for you. But I can't help but feel like you're grossed out by me. I mean—I feel grossed out when I look at myself. I feel like I'm taking up so much space—"

Natasha cuts you off abruptly, pulling off the blanket as she pulls at you until you're in her lap.

"Nat—"

"You're not gross and this is not about the weight you have or have not gained. You hear me?" Natasha says forcefully as she holds you close to her, hand over your thigh to keep you against her.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I've been making you feel like you're not attractive me," Natasha's eyes well up as your tears wet her shoulder. "You're literally still the most gorgeous person I've ever met and you're always going to be that to me."

Natasha's hand at your waist dips underneath your hoodie, her fingers trailing up your back as she sighs at your warmth. "I should've told you, but the springtime is just really hard for me. It's odd because it's a time for things to come back to life but some of the worst things have happened to me during the spring and things blooming makes me think about things that aren't coming back. I think it's also just a little bit of seasonal depression too. I'm just the rare percentage that gets it in the spring."

The explanation makes your body sag with relief because while you feel so horrible that there is a reason Natasha doesn't like spring, she's not falling out of love with you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was hurting you," Natasha apologizes again. "I didn't mean to be so distant but I didn't want to bring your mood down as well, which is why I've been working so much to keep busy."

"It's okay," you muttered as your turn your head, forehead pressed against her neck. "I'm sorry spring is depressing for you."

Natasha merely hushes you as she kisses the side of your head.

You begin to feel awkward, thinking about how you must be heavy on her and try to move, but Natasha doesn't let you.

"Sweetheart, I don't know how to convince you that you're perfect to me," Natasha says so seriously as she forces you to look at her. "If you want to lose weight because that is what you want, then I support you. But I need you to understand that I love you no matter what. I don't care either way because you're so fucking lovely to me always. Do you understand?"

Timidly, you reply, "Okay. Thank you."

Natasha presses her lips against yours in a long kiss before she pulls back.

"Now, I'm going to ask again. Are you hungry? We can order in and watch that new show on Netflix I heard was pretty good from Wanda."

You feel lighter. You think you might still want to work out because that would make you happy, but you don't feel the rush like you did just a couple of hours ago.

"Yeah," you say shyly. "But maybe something not so heavy?"

Natasha nods as she presses another kiss into your cheek as she helps you settle onto the couch right beside her to grab her phone.

"Anything to make you bloom."

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

Let’s have a baby

yandere!EraserMicx PREGNANT!Reader 

A terrible mix up leading to an accidental pregnancy? Or something more intentional? Either way now you were pregnant with (none other than the beloved power couple heroes) Eraserhead and Present Mic’s child. Time to discuss how co parenting is going to work. 

TW: pregnancy, artificial insemination, yandere elements, mentions of stalking, alludes to potential custody battle

You had been avoiding the two men for the past week, which was challenging seeing as they managed to find your phone number, address, and place of work. Any time you blocked their calls they got a new number. Two Pro Heroes versus a twenty something civilian, it was only a matter of time until you were cornered.

Now the couple stood between you and your apartment. You had a long shift at your job as a pet groomer and just wanted to get some rest.

Present Mic was the first to speak. "Hey lil momma, we heard you had work today so we brought you some dinner. We thought we could talk over a nice meal."

You had no response. You were tired, both physically and emotionally. You had been put through the ringer ever since meeting them at your doctors office. It was a total Jane the Virgin situation. You went in for an assessment about some supposed ovarian cysts and unknowing left artificially inseminated. There was a supposed mix up, a digital glitch that somehow merged your chart with the surrogates - apparently your names were super similar. Two weeks later you were called back into the doctor's office and informed of what took place. And now you were in this living nightmare.

And the two heroes had nothing to do with the error. There was totally a surrogate. They hadn't paid off your provider. And why would they? You had never met them - although given their patrols they may have seen you once or twice...

They were tearful when they were informed of the mix up, they had been waiting patiently through the whole process and now everything was thrown in chaos. They offered to compensate you for your service which sent you into a blind rage. They just assumed you would carry a child, a child with half of your DNA, and then give YOUR baby away. Rationally you understood that they had planned to be be the only parents to the child, but that was with a professional surrogate who understood the process, who didn't want the child in their life, just happy to help out a loving couple. But that wasn't you, you grew up wanting to be a mom, and now they would take that from you.

What if they tried to legally take sole custody of the baby? Surely they had some pull in the judicial system. Besides, they were a solid couple with money, while you were alone with no family and working two jobs. The thought made you sick to your stomach.

You were shaking as you tried to push past them. Maybe they would just disappear if you ignored them, a girl could dream. But instead they tagged along inside. Albeit you weren’t fighting them on it, you knew this had to happen eventually.

Aizawa easily found the cluttered dining table in your small apartment. You flinched when the loud one tried to help you shrug off your backpack. Taking a seat on the couch you waited for them to start berating you.

"Come sit at the table, dinner is getting cold," Eraser spoke for the first time.

"I'll eat later, I'm not hungry."

"You may not be, but the baby needs to eat."

You glared, how dare they insinuate you didn't know what your child needed. If your body was hungry, you ate. If you were full the baby was full too.

But, you complied, not wanting to argue, "Fine, but I ate a snack not too long ago."

As you ate, Mic kept you company, picking at some left overs, they clearly ate before their visit. Aizawa was rummaging through your place but you managed to hold your tongue until he began throwing things out of your fridge.

"What are you doing?" You hissed, getting up out of your seat.

"Mic and I will bring you groceries tomorrow. The food you have is barely safe for an adult, let alone a fetus."

"Are you kidding me? It's not like I'm chugging alcohol and living off Twinkies. Hey! I just bought those turkey slices. How is turkey bad?" You whined.

To make sure you wouldn't dig the food out trash he dumped it out of his container.

"Zashi, don't let me forget to empty the trash on our way out. Do you know how much salt is in deli meat? And there's no way you can drink any of this while you're pregnant." He gestures to the cans of soda.

As the frustration built you had to fight back tears. They couldn't come in to your home and start throwing out your things.

"Some of us don't make ridiculous money, I'm buying what I can afford and the doctor never had any problem with my health." You hissed.

Hizashi felt the tension thickening, "Hey hey hey, it's okay. Sho and I will go get you some good stuff. We just gotta watch out for you and baby."

And that was the end of your resolve, you stomped past the Hero and locked yourself in your bedroom. Finally tears began to drip down your cheeks.

Back in your kitchen Mic was chiding his boyfriend for being so tough on you.

"So I should just back down while she stuffs herself with junk food?"

Mic gave him a shrug, showing him a bottle on your counter, "At lest she's taking her prenatal vitamins?"

Grabbing the keys to your apartment Aizawa instructed Mic to wait with you while he got you better groceries. He would make copies of your keys on his was back.

You prayed they would leave soon. You were laying in your bed having cried yourself out. Barely into your second month of pregnancy. You still had to endure this for at least seven more months, but most likely much longer.

Next thing you knew you were opening your eyes and the clock read seven AM. By now your uninvited guests must be gone. Nervously you sat up, praying that you'd skip the morning sickness just once this week. You had always had a weak stomach and even the doctor was surprised you were already experiencing the symptom. Unfortunately the minute your feet touched the floor you knew what was coming. You sprinted to the restroom, not even checking to see if the duo had left.

God this was terrible, you didn't just hate throwing up, you were terrified of it. What if you started and never stopped? But it did come to an end. You wiped the water from your eyes and took a moment before standing from the floor. You screamed when a hand slid under your arm, helping you up. Another set of feet rushed to the bathroom.

" What's wrong?" Hizashi huffed as he skid to a stop.

You pulled arm free from Aizawa's grasp. "What are you two still doing here?"

You turned in the faucet to rinse your mouth. Trying to calm your stress, the nausea was trying to return.

Undeterred the scruff pulled your hair into a bun before rubbing your back. You debated returning to bed but that wouldn't get them out of your apartment. You told them you need to sit down, both of them nodding, still wearing their concerned expressions. They got you a glass of water before joining you on the couch. Stubborn men, you sat at the end of the couch so they couldn't both sit, but Mic decided to perch himself on the armrest.

He started petting your hair, "You feelin better little listener?" You nodded in response.

"I got you more food, let us know if your hungry."

You sighed in defeat, "I'm barely two months pregnant, I can fend for myself. What did you all want to talk about?"

You anxiously placed a hand on your stomach. Both men felt their hearts flutter recognizing your maternal instincts kicking in.

Aizawa let Mic begin, he was the more gentle of the two.

"Well, we figured we got off to a rough start. You got put in a tough situation. We shouldn't have assumed you didn't want a child so we're not mad at how you stormed out. But either way we expect to be in our baby's life. The two of us talked it over and we don't want to fight you if you want to be in their life too. So if you wanna be the mommy we're cool with it."

You could blame your reaction on your hormones for your response but you didn't, "Geez thank you so much for allowing me to be in MY child's life."

Aizawa placed a hand on the back of your neck, giving you a gentle massage. "Okay then, the three of us are gonna have a baby. That means you have to stop ignoring us. We can raise the baby together, without involving anyone else. But if we have to, we can always go the legal route for the baby's best interest." 

He knew it was a low blow, but the couple needed you to stop fighting them. Your eyes snapped to his and you shook your head in protest.

"Okay then we're all the same page," Aizawa reassured you.

Mic cheered, "Now we can focus on the fun stuff."

"Hun," Eraserhead caught his attention. "There's still a few more important things to figure out. We don't want you going back to that doctor. They're incompetent. We scheduled you an appointment with another's clinic for next week. Okay?"

You couldn't find your voice after how easily he threatened to take your baby. So you just nodded. Half listening.

"Good. We also went ahead and programmed our numbers into your phone. We need to be able to check in with you."

"Okay, but I can't use my phone at one of my jobs."

"About that lil momma," Mic started. "You work a lot, which is totally bad ass, but we don't think you leave enough time to rest and take care of yourself."

You tried to protest but Aizawa cut you off, "You also shouldn't be working around so many animals. Even though we love animals, they can be unpredictable and one dog can trigger all the rest into a frenzy."

You were dumbfounded, "I've never heard of anything like that happening. One of my coworkers was pregnant last year, she worked until her maternity leave. Plus I need to be able to pay my bills. And don't offer to compensate me again."

"Why do you have to view it as compensation? We just want to take care of the mother of our child. Just think about it. Mic and I have to go take care of some business but we'll be back later this week."

---

Back at their home Hizashi was dramatically splayed on their bed.

"Babe why are you pouting?" Aizawa asked.

"Why can't we just bring her home already?"

Aizawa sympathized with his better half, but they needed to be methodical. He reminded Hizashi that they didn't need to cause her even more stress, especially so early into the pregnancy. If they played their cards right they would have their happy little family soon enough.

If they could ease you in to the relationship everything would be easier in the long run. They had been managing just fine until now, they could wait a few more months.

He joined Hizashi on the couch. Mic was comforting himself the way he usually did when he felt like this. He was scrolling through the countless photos they had collected since their chance encounter with you over a year ago. 

[baekhansol]

after dinner

pairing: hyunjin x f!reader

rating: mature | genre: smut

word count: 1376

warnings: hand kink, mentions of masturbation, choking, fingering, talk of a safe word + use of the color light system, reader wearing a skirt, marking, sir kink, nipple play, kind of spanking (1 thigh smack), oral (f receiving), hair pulling, sort of cum play (?)

note: this is unedited so.. please be forgiving. i thrive on feedback so i would appreciate some!

You went out for dinner with Hyunjin at one of your favorite restaurants. It was warm and homey, and served delicious food. You always ended up having weird and important conversations there. So when Hyunjin looked thoughtful, the way he did before he was going to talk about something serious, you took a deep breath to prepare yourself.

"I know you like my hands baby. Tell me, what have you been thinking about me doing with my hands that keeps getting you so worked up?" Hyunjin asks, clasping his hands together, elbows on the table as he leans in, expectantly waiting for your answer.

You sigh, knowing there's no use in getting too flustered. You almost wanted to laugh, having expected something serious rather than sexual. But even if you stopped the conversation from going where it was, you'd end up telling him one way or another, and the sooner you tell him, the better.

"Well… sometimes when I'm touching myself, I think of your hands and you using your fingers. They're much longer than mine…" you admit, feeling bashful nonetheless.

Hyunjin nods, being patient as you tell him your thoughts.

"And I've thought about you choking me," you finally admit, hanging your head.

"As far as I'm aware, that's not too unusual of a thing," Hyunjin says, giving you a reassuring smile and reaching for your hand, gently squeezing yours.

You nod a little, relaxing. "Is that…" you begin.

"Okay?" He supplies. You nod and he continues. "Of course I don't mind! I would love to try that with you. I can definitely finger you the next time you're in the mood," Hyunjin assures you, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows. "Although I may be tempted to eat you out instead," he adds, making you both laugh.

"Okay, well, since we are on the subject… is there anything you want to try? You know, sexually?" You ask, looking up at him as he gently rubs his thumb across the back of your hand.

"Well, I do want to go down on you more. That way I can get better. And~" he says, smiling mischievously, "maybe more orgasm control? And denial? And… maybe oversensitiving you to get you to cum again?"

You nod, listening intently. "Oh," you say, thinking about what you two have done so far.

"I mean, I know you often ask if it's okay to cum already, but I tend to just say yes," he explains.

"Yeah, I do. I really like that you lead me, or are dominant, you know? So I wouldn't mind you controlling that. But we should still use our safe word," you say, nodding.

"Red," Hyunjin says, nodding in agreement. "And I can always check in on you with the color light system. I can ask what color you are, and that let's me know if you're okay or I'm pushing things too hard."

"I've heard about that, so green is good and yellow is slow down?"

"Slow down or it's getting too much, yes."

You nod in agreement, swinging your feet. “Well, that’s something I can do,” you hum.

------------

When you get home and take off your shoes, you gently pull Hyunjin by the collar to your bedroom.

He laughs softly and sits on the bed, pulling you into his lap and kissing you. Hyunjin’s hands make their way up your thighs, gently rubbing your skin. “I’m glad you wore a skirt,” he murmurs with a smirk.

“You are?” you whisper, feeling his hands groping your ass.

“Very,” he laughs, his mouth moving to your neck, sucking and nibbling.

“Want you,” you softly moan, grinding into him.

“Oh do you know?” he teasingly murmurs against your skin.

“Mhm,” you moan softly in his ear.

“Well, maybe I can do that,” he offers, his fingers running on the hem of your panties. “You wore such pretty lace for me, hm?” Hyunjin asks as he flips up your skirt.

“Yeah, I feel sexy in them,” you admit, running your hand through his soft hair.

“Good. Now take them off. All of it.”

You look into his eyes, which were wide and full of lust and love. “Yes sir,” you murmur, getting up from his lap and doing as he said.

Hyunjin leans back and watches you, a lazy smirk on his face. As you finish taking your last article of clothing off, your lacy underwear, he says, “now lay on the bed and spread your legs.”

You nod and climb on the bed, laying down and spreading your legs. “What a good girl for me,” he practically purrs, his hand cupping your cheek. Hyunjin kisses you softly for only a moment, his thumb running over your lip.

“I love you,” you say shyly, lost in his eyes.

“I love you too,” he says, letting a hand trail down your face, lightly squeezing the sides of your neck. A soft gasp escapes you and he smirks, letting go before running his fingers over your pebbling nipples.

“Are you getting needy?”

“Yes,” you admit shyly.

“Yes what?”

“Yes sir, sorry sir,” you say, immediately realizing your mistake.

“You’re forgiven,” Hyunjin says, shaking his head.

He pinches your nipples, loving the noises of pleasure that escape you. He removes his hands, moving to be between your legs. Hyunjin massages your soft skin, peppering kisses here and there. He teasingly taps your pubic mound, and you bite your tongue to keep your moan in.

“You can make noise, love,” he murmurs, his fingers spreading your folds. “So pretty,” Hyunjin murmurs, spitting on his fingers before gently rubbing your clit.

This time, you softly moan. You keep your legs relaxed, letting him take care of you.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Hyunjin demands, continuing to play with your folds and clit.

You do your best to watch, your half lidded eyes wanting to close in the buildup of pleasure he was bringing you. “Want you inside,” you manage to say, biting your lip.

“I can do that,” he says, using his other hand to collect your juices before pushing a finger inside of you. “You’re so wet,” Hyunjin moans, licking his lip as he moves his finger, easily finding your spot.

“Sir~!” you mewl out, biting your lip as you feel pleasure building immediately.

“Not yet,” he warns, continuing to abuse that spot and rub your clitorsis.

“Feels so good, sir,” you gasp out, holding onto one of his forearms.

“Good,” Hyunjin murmurs, slipping in another finger inside of you and kissing on your thigh.

“Oh fuck, sir,” you gasp, biting your lip harshly.

“I- I need more,” you cry softly, feeling frustrated.

“What do you need?” Hyunjin asks, slowing his fingers.

“I- I want your mouth,” you mewl.

“Oh? Where do you want it?” he asks, slowly scissoring his fingers.

“I- I-” you moan, panting softly.

“I can't help you if you don’t talk to me,” he sighs, pulling his fingers out and moving his hands onto your thighs.

“No! No!” you whine, immediately receiving a smack on the thigh.

“I’m in charge,” he reminds you, immediately inserting his fingers and attaching his lips to your clit.

“Oh fuck, fuck, thank you sir~” you moan out, grabbing his hair and pulling.

He smirks against your flower, speeding up his fingers.

“Oh, I’m close,” you suddenly realize.

“Good,” he murmurs, looking up at you with his chin wet with your juices. You clench around his fingers and he groans softly. Hyunjin starts kissing up your stomach, letting the heel of his palm rub your clit. “Don’t cum,” he says, watching your face and knowing you were close.

You let go of his hair and groan, your toes curling as a soft whine escapes you.

“Not yet,” he reminds you, making his fingers go as fast as they can. He intensely watches your core, loving the way your muscles clenched as you tried to hold yourself back.

“Go ahead and cum,” Hyunjin murmurs, smirking as you cry out his name while you cum. He continues to finger you a little while longer, letting you ride out your high. When you squirm away, feeling oversensitive, he pulls out his fingers and offers them for you to suck and taste yourself.

“Good girl,” he groans, biting his lip.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Can I request? Please. Uh, can you maybe do about the boys reacting to an MC who steals their things like clothes and wears them around the house bc they miss them? (Ps absolutely love your writing you are doing an amazing job! But remember to take breaks and drink water. 😊)

Aw thank you! I'm making sure to not overdo it and I've been looking after myself!

Lucifer:

He was finally back from a meeting he had with Diavolo

The meeting went much later in the day than anyone expected

So the last thing he wanted was to deal with anything within the house

He desired nothing more than to just take off his uniform and get into something more comfortable

That's when he saw you, his coat draped around your shoulders, you were clutching it close to you

He leaned against the wall, watching you snuggle into his coat

"enjoying yourself"

"ah-! Lucifer! I am, I missed you."

He smiled, adjusting his coat on you

"I missed you too, you look adorable right now."

He held you close, leading you to his bedroom and let you sit on his bed whilst he changed into more comfortable clothes

He cuddled you whilst you wore his coat, enjoying how big it looked on you

Mammon:

He barged back into the house, grumbling to himself

The witches had him running around doing all sorts of chores

He was tired and his legs were sore

You were currently walking around the house, mammons jacket zipped up

It was so warm and it smelled just like him

You were missing him all day

Mammons mood immediately lifted when he saw you in his jacket

"You look better in it than me, Should I get us matching jacket's."

"but then what will I wear when I miss you?"

"I- I guess you can keep it but only until I need it back, it's apart of my look."

He picked you up, taking you to his room

He definitely will take pictures of you

Levithan:

He didn't expect to come back from club to see you in his chair

You were curled up in his jacket on your phone

He slammed his bedroom door shut, trying to muffle his scream with his hand

He didn't expect to see you in his clothes!!!

"w-what are you doing?! It looks good- this is just like an anime I've been watching!"

"I missed you, how was club?"

"g-great-!"

He was too shy to have you sit on his lap but if you did it yourself, he would not complain

Asked to take pictures of you and it's now his wallpaper

Satan:

He didn't expect it to find you in his sweater

He took it off as it was covered in cat fur and he was currently hiding the cat from his brothers

Knowing they'd snitch

But here you were, laying on his bed snuggling into his sweater

"What a wonderful surprise."

"you're back! I missed you, devils been keeping me company."

"has he? Well, good thing I'm back."

He was little jealous of his cat

He sat with you and cuddled with you

Devil making sure to nudge himself between you two as much as possible

Asmodeus:

He just got back from being swarmed by his adoring fans

He didn't have his usual scarf today and so they were all asking about his new look

Asking if scarfs were still in season

He reassured them that this wasn't a permanent change to his fashion

But he didn't expect to find you walking around the dorm wearing his scarf

You didn't get time to prepare for his hug tackle

"you look stunning! You suit my scarf so well~"

"you were gone for so long, I missed you."

"I'm sorry, darling but atleast I got to see wearing my clothes."

He absolutely adores this

Keeps 'accidentally' leaving behind his clothes

Beezlebub:

He just got back from the gym, ready to consume the entire fridge

Most likely eating the fridge itself if anyone tried to stop him

But his pursuit for food was put on pause when he found you

You were completely engulfed in his hoodie, you were getting a drink out of the fridge

If it weren't for his stomach growling he could of kept looking at you for longer

"you're wearing my hoodie."

"you're back! I missed you."

"I missed you too, what's new in the fridge?"

He had you sitting on his shoulders, still in his hoodie

You were holding some snacks and he kept asking for you to feed him

Belphegor:

He grumbled as he lifted himself out of his sleeping spot

By now he's forgotten where he decided to sleep, wherever it was it had alot of boxes

He crawled out of the closet and stretched

But that's when he saw you across the way

Wearing his cardigan, leaning against the sofa on your phone

"My, my, missed me?"

"I did actually, how was your nap?"

"amazing.... even better knowing you've been wearing my clothes."

He hugged you from behind, sighing happily

[uuujeewriting]

you can do it! [albedo, kaeya, childe, zhongli and diluc]

s/o has been going through a depressive episode and lacks motivation to finish their work and is getting anxiety because of it

tw: none, mentions of depression/anxiety, nothing too much. fluffy comfort <3

albedo x gn!reader, kaeya x gn!reader, childe x gn!reader, zhongli x gn!reader, diluc x gn!reader

a/n: self indulgent bc i'm way behind school and in the middle of a depressive episode so motivation's been lacking ;-; hope you guys are having a good week tho!

i would like to clarify that if any of these scenarios/hc's of mine are similar to other writers' works, it is unintentional and i apologize

albedo

oh? unmotivated you say.. self depricating thoughts? intrusive ones too?

albedo was never one to mope around when he was stuck on some problem he's yet to puzzle together, but seeing you exhausted, anxious and so... dull–he desperately wants to take all your worries away

he's a bit slow, failing to realize your depressive episode for a few days. as it prolongs, he notices how you seem to talk down to yourself and give up easily

sometimes, you don't even start work at all

this is due to your anxiety, he assumes as you think you're incapable of finishing or doing the work satisfactorily enough.

pulling you into an embrace from behind as you work on the projects you've been stuck on for the past few weeks, he gently whispers into your shoulder

"darling, have you been alright recently? are you in need of assistance?" he asks

he presses a loving kiss on your neck and you stifle a chuckle

"it's that apparent, no? i've been under the weather for quite a while now.."

as you explain your reasons and all your troubles to his end, he nods and hums ever so often

"you must be feeling drained, hm? well, frankly enough, i seem to need a break myself."

"eh? albedo where-!!”

he pulls you away from your working place and carries you to the couch, laying you down gently as he smiles at you

"aside from your unmotivated self, i reckon you need reassurance for those intrusive thoughts of yours."

and that, ladies, gentlemen and folks, is how you end up cuddling with albedo until the sun sets and you fall asleep

bask in the comfort of his words as he calls you his everything and more :')) <333

kaeya

my, oh my. what's gotten into his precious little love?

he's sharp, quite easily takes notice to your frantic and dim self.

he sees you sitting outside, head in your hands and sighs leaving your lips every now and then

unbeknownst to you, he creeps behind you and presses a careful peck on the nape of your neck, causing you to flinch and look back quickly

he was about to laugh at your cuteness, but as soon as he's reminded of your troubled state, he sits beside you and takes your face into his hands

sir we're in the plaza-

"oh archons, why is my sunshine so dim these days?" he pouts

rip u probably after this

"kaeya.. well, you see-"

and as you explain your current doubts and anxieties, he strokes your cheeks softly and looks into your eyes fondly

when you're finished, he nods and presses a light kiss on your forehead, a silent promise to accompany and help you on your endeavors to face your troubles

"i'll always be here for you, my love. if there's anything i can help you with, do not hesitate to come into my arms, hm?"

"noted, mr. suave"

jkjk o r a m i

he laughs and kisses you on the edge of your mouth

"what say you we head into the tavern for a bit? you could use some relaxation, right?"

as if you had a choice other than to say yes

childe

this man would know the second it started

having a bunch of siblings has its benefits huh

when he walks into your shared room and sees you on the edge, tears brimming your eyes he sits you down on your bed

"hey, hey.. i'm here, it's alright."

as you cry in his embrace, he rocks you gently, shushing you softly in an attempt to hinder your tears

"you can tell me if you're up for it, honey. i'm never too busy for you."

"i-it's just that-"

mhm. oh? why, how dare they treat you so harshly. really? why must you have to be burdened so heavily?

he acknowledges your struggles and worries with gentle strokes and brushing through your hair

"you have it really rough, don't you? ah well, nothing we can do but-"

"childe?"

he stands up and leaves the room for a second

he comes back with food, drinks, your favorite clothing of his, a scented candle you bought and some books you have yet to finish reading

the action warms your heart as you sniffle and smile at your lover

as soon as he lays down with you, prepare to never see daylight again as he won't let go for the longest, and i mean longest time ever

"i love you, y/n. you're strong and don't let anything, not even yourself, make you think otherwise."

zhongli

dearest, must life be so unfair to you? why you out of all people?

zhongli is wise–he knows something is bothering you when it does. that being said, he isn't sure whether or not he should approach you so directly

especially if it seems like a sensitive topic

instead, in your depressive state and anxious fiddling, he calls you over to him

he pulls you into his lap as he takes your face into his hand and kisses you tenderly

"my dear, has anything been bothering you? might i offer my hand in dealing with them?"

you'd think kaeya's mr. suave then this man pops up with his broke ass

"as a matter of fact.."

as you go on and state your dealings and troubles, he listens with an almost solemn look

he looks at you with utmost affection and concern when you finish

"the terrains of life have been steep and intimidating, you have been very commendable for braving through these, my dearest."

he places his lips onto your own and strokes the back of your head lovingly

for a reserved man, zhongli easily expresses his affection for you in multitudes of ways

his kisses being one of them

after parting your lips, he peppers your face with his kisses and you laugh quietly at his ministrations

"might i suggest a quick stroll to take your mind off things?"

you agree, thinking that once you head home, you'll be back to work with a clearer mind

little did you know mr. no money in his pockets got a liiiittle surprise for you as you won't be returning to your work any time soon :DDDD

by 'surprise' i mean he's taking you out to dinner

yall nasties

diluc

diluc is a busy man, dealing with a winery and all

along with his night profession (which he has only admitted to you and the traveling duo)

you did your best to hide your troubled self and aid him in his work, but you can only hold the facade for so long before it eats you up inside

when you break, he is slightly taken aback but is quick to comfort you

he sees you shaking and situates you on his couch as he sits beside you, rubbing your back as you curl into his figure

he's very warm

"sweetheart, would you mind telling me the problem?" he asks

he waits for an answer as you're still trying to find the words

"diluc, i'm sorry for bothering you.. i know you have plenty on your schedule and-”

"y/n, you're my top priority, no matter what. my work is nothing compared to what you mean to me."

and it's true, you're really his top priority

woohoo !! :DD

when you explain your anxieties and doubts to diluc, he's very understanding and listens to you earnestly

"-and that's why i've been so.. down, let's put it."

he strokes your face and presses his forehead to your own, looking you in the eye softly

he pulls you in tighter and closer, pressing kisses to your jawline and below your ear

"thank you for expressing your troubles with me, my love. i'm sorry for not noticing earlier."

"no need, love, you're very busy and i can't thank you enough for taking the time to understand me."

he pulls away for a second and shakes his head

"again, my work is nothing compared to you. i am willing to put aside all my responsibilities for a week in order to ensure your happiness."

uh wh a t

"ah," you laugh concerned, "sure–"

"which is what we're going to be doing this week." he smiles

welp. no turning back now

enjoy ur week with the redhead you utter s i m p

[elysianslove]

Hi lovely!!! I was wondering if you could write a small second part to that Osamu Drabble - where the reader notices Osamu become more quiet and closed off and she has to show him he deserves everything in the world and more (smut or fluff) and then like a fluffy ending???? My heart can’t take the angst T.T but no rush or anything thank you!

i still can’t stop thinking about osamu so,,, absolutely yes i would love to write a part 2!!! part 1 is here <3 

pls i started writing this and got to like 600 words before i realized i was writing a completely different prompt i hate myself ,,, anyways this took me like an hour idk why. felt like i could do samu more justice but :(  

there’s something different, and it only takes you a week to notice. 

there’s something different about everything. about the way osamu loves you, talks to you, hugs you, kisses you, cooks for you, cleans with you, dances with you. your home somehow feels colder, lonelier, like it isn’t home, and it’s so off putting that it’s both frustrating and depressing. and despite the fact that you can recognize that something is off, something is twisted, something is wrong, you don’t understand why, and it’s possibly more angering than anything.

it’s a week and two days when you’re first vocal about it. you’re sitting at your dinner table, picking and pushing at your food mindlessly as you sit across from osamu. he’s quiet, and while that isn’t entirely unusual— osamu likes to think listening is his stronger suit, so you’ve taken up to talking majority of the time you’re together— it still feels off. like he’s purposely silencing himself. it looks as if he’s being weighed down, as if his heart’s too heavy in his chest and his thoughts are too messy to think through. and the fact that he continues to stay silent hurts you more than simply watching him suffer. 

“’samu, baby,” you quietly call out to him, and in response, he simply hums, eyes finding yours and head tilting slightly in question. you can’t be careful enough as you ask, “is everything okay?” 

unsurprisingly, but still as disappointing as ever, he nods, offering a weak smile and a murmur of, “‘course, lovely.” 

you sigh in defeat. 

you try again later that night, as the two of you slip into bed from opposite sides. you ask again, and he smiles weakly, again, offering you a small, practiced excuse of, “just tired, wanna sleep,” before he shuffles beneath the covers. 

for the next few days, you relieve him of your questioning, and instead offer him silent love and reassurance. you urge him to take a bath with you, sitting him down between your legs and scrubbing at his hair, scratching at his scalp reassuringly, kneading and massaging at his muscles. when he comes home from work, every day, you’ve either made him a grand meal or prepared his favorite dessert for later, and yet, he barely eats it, picking at it and taking small bites in order to spare your worry. still, you wake up earlier than him to prepare him breakfast, making him his coffee just the way he likes it, cooking his food just the way he likes it, waking him up with a gentle kiss to his forehead. and still, you lay with him on the couch, head on his chest, tucked beneath his chin, and you lift up your phone to show him a ridiculous video or a funny tweet. 

and still, you love him as quietly as you can, as subtly as you can, because that’s what love has always been for osamu. 

two weeks later, as you lean over the sink in your bedroom’s bathroom, scrubbing and washing at your face, his arms find your waist, and his face finds a place buried in your neck. 

“i love ya, you know that?” his voice is muffled slightly by the thin shirt you wear, but you hear him loud and clear. 

standing up straighter, you lean back into him, and reach up with your hand to card softly through his hair. “i know,” you say, reassuringly adding, “i love you too.” 

quietly, you twist around, only when he lets you of course, and you face him. his arms remain around you, tight around your waist, and you let him hold you close, reaching up to cup his face and urging him to look at you. his eyes are a lot less sadder than they were two weeks before. 

“do you need to talk to me, baby?” you wonder, kindly prodding. “it’s okay if you don’t, but know that i’ll listen if you do.”

osamu sighs deeply, attempting to smile down at you before he nods. “yeah,” he replies, and his voice is shaky and broken and so far away that you hear your heart break in your chest. 

with another soft, “okay,” from you, you lead him to your bedroom, sitting across from him on your bed. he crosses his legs, back to the headboard, and you mirror his position, facing him. he looks so tense as he fidgets with his hands on his lap, gaze faltering. 

“‘samu, you can tell me anything,” you encourage him. “i promise, anything.” 

he seems to consider this, cracking his knuckles, before he opens his mouth and asks, “have ya ever considered leavin’ me for ‘tsumu?” 

you deflate slightly, and give him a confused look, cautiously and curiously asking, “why would i want to do that?” at osamu’s widening eyes, you quickly add, “i love — you. why would i want to leave you? for anyone?”

he fumbles with his next words, hands finding purchase in his trousers, gripping them at the knees. “’m sorry, lovely,” he admits. “i jus’— feel like— forget it, it’s okay.” 

you’re quick to scramble forward, closer to him, your palms settled atop his hands. “no, no, talk to me,” you plead, “please, baby.” his eyes find yours, and god, he looks so— scared. one hand leaves his and reaches up to cup his face instead, your face hovering closer to his. with a gentle, tiny kiss pressed to the corner of his mouth, you whisper out, “i love you, ‘samu; talk to me.” 

“you love me?” his voice is considerable smaller as he says this, as if he’s speaking more to himself than anything. “you love me?” 

“i love you,” you repeat. “i love you and i only want to be with you. no one else. no one, not even atsumu.” 

his eyes are watery as they find yours again, but he bites down harshly on his tongue, only opening his mouth once more when the haziness clears up. “and i’m enough for ya? ya don’t think you can do better? be with better?” he’s not attacking you. 

he’s genuinely asking. 

“wh—“

“yer okay with— with the lesser twin? with just miya atsumu’s brother? ya don’t want more?” 

“‘samu,” you breathe out, and his mouth shuts, but he hadn’t been meaning to say more. he thinks if he had, his lungs would’ve burst. “‘samu, you’re not— you really think so lowly of yourself?” his eyes fall from yours again, but your other hand cups his face, forcing his gaze to firmly settle on yours. “you’re not the lesser twin. neither of you is. you’re two separate people, who have both made and built such wonderful lives for themselves, chasing their own respective passions. you’re not miya atsumu’s brother; you’re miya osamu. you’re miya osamu, owner of onigiri miya, successful businessman, lover of mine, and he’s miya atsumu— some volleyball player, i don’t know—“

he manages a laugh at this, eyes watering again. 

“i love you so much it hurts, ‘samu. and there is so much more to you, so much more that makes you you. that makes you so special, that makes me fall in love with you every single day. the way you style your hair, or the stupid way you crack your eggs, or the really quick way you tie an apron ,or the way you always fluff up your pillows before you sleep, or the way you fold your clothes. that little dance you do when you think nobody can see when you cook something and it turns out looking so good. the way you kiss me goodnight, the way you hold my hand, the way you take pictures of anything and everything and send it to me, be it a really cool looking cloud or a weird assortment or pebbles you’d found on the ground. 

“i feel like loving you is so — easy. as easy as breathing. i wake up every morning and i love you more than the day before. i wake up every morning feeling so sure and so at peace with the fact that i wake up to you every morning. the first though that comes to my mind when i think of anything is you. you’re everything to me. you’re my before, my now, my after. 

“there is no one— no one— that could make me feel the way you do. there is no one i could picture by my side for the rest of my life. no one i wanna wake up with and brush my teeth with and have breakfast with and run stupid, boring errands with and talk about my day with. it’s only you, ‘samu. it’s only ever been you, and it will only ever be you. always you. always you.” 

his arms are gripping at your waist before you can process it, his face buried in your neck as he trembles and shakes. you think you can hear him sniffle, but you don’t pay too much attention. instead, your arms wrap around his neck, climbing onto his lap to be as close to him as possible. you hold each other like this, for hours upon hours, because you don’t know for how long he’d needed this, and you hadn’t realize how much you’d needed it too. 

[quicksilverownsmysoul]

Soft Pretzel

A request by @ittoehurt in which the reader has been feeling sick lately and finds out they are pregnant with Peter’s kid. But she isn't sure if he would even want to have a kid with her. I put my own little twist on it, I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: None really, mostly pure fluff, a little angst

Word count: 1780

You were currently huddled over a toilet throwing your soft pretzel up. Jubilee was with you holding your hair back. “I’m so sorry Jubilee.” You choked out in between your sickness. You laid your head against the toilet bowl, much to her protests. 

“No honey it’s okay.” She reassured you by moving your head from the public toilet to lay on her shoulder. You wrapped your arms around your stomach as if willing it to keep down your food. 

“You can leave me here, go have fun with Kurt and the gang.” You smiled weakly and she just softly shook her head at you.  You guys were supposed to be having a fun day at the carnival,  when you suddenly felt sick and rushed off to the bathroom. Peter had wanted to go with you but Jubilee insisted that he couldn't just go into a woman’ bathroom like that. 

“I am not leaving you here. You know that.” She brushed your hair away from your face. “I told you not to eat that carnival food, it always makes me sick.” She wrinkled her nose at the thought of even eating anything at the pop up carnival. Especially when she  saw the buckets of grease that everything was marinating in. Peter had eaten something from every stand as you guys had walked around together and he was in no mindset to stop soon. But for once he felt his appetite disappear as he waited for you outside of the bathroom. His foot anxiously tapping against the pavement. 

Truth be told you knew it wasn’t the pretzel was what had made you so sick. You had woken up on many occasions recently hurling into a toilet, you were always careful to never wake Peter up when you slipped out of bed to spill your guts. It had been a while since your last period as well. Your suspicions were confirmed when you took a pregnancy test a couple days ago. You had driven to the store to buy one after your morning classes. Peter wasn't home in your shared apartment when you took it, and when you saw those two lines appear you knew you were screwed. You had sat in the bathroom for god knows how long crying a mix of tears.

You and Peter had been together for a while now. You had met him in high school in your science class, he was your lab partner. He cracked some dumb chemistry joke and you fell in love with him right then and there. You guys started dating and at homecoming he admitted that he was a mutant, he had been so nervous on how you would react. He loved you so much and he hated the idea of ruining it because he was different. But you could care less, you told him that it didn't change the way you felt about him and when you said you thought his superspeed was really cool he was whipped. You guys had been together a couple years now, you had even taken the next step and moved in together, not wanting to spend the rest of your days making out in his mom’s basement. He had become a member of the x-men and you took classes at the local university. Everything seemed so perfect. And now there was a chance of ruining it all. You and Peter were in your early 20’s you two hadn’t even talked about having children, heck you hadn't even thought about it yourself. You didn't even know if he would want a kid with you, he was so young and this was both of yours first relationship. You felt as if you were going to tie him down to something he never even wanted. 

You bit your lip debating on telling Jubilee what had been bugging you for the past few weeks. She saw your brow furrowed and turned to face you. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick again.” She got up to leave. “I’ll go get you some water.” You grabbed her hand before she could leave. 

“The pretzel isn't what made me sick.” You admitted quietly, curling into yourself even more. She silently urged you to go on, sitting back down and taking your hands in hers. 

“I’m pregnant,” You admitted, staring at your lap, not wanting to meet her eyes, in fear that you would see disappointment in them. 

The bathroom was eerily quiet until Jubilee let out a happy squeal and tackled you in a hug. You nearly fell over onto the floor. 

“Omg (y/n)!!! You and Peter are going to have a kid together!! They’re going to be so cute! Especially if they look like you, I don’t know how they’ll look if they get Peter’s genes.” She rambled happily. You let out a little laugh at her excitement, but your heart was still heavy. 

She calmed herself down and her tone turned serious. “Have you told Peter yet?’

You fiddled with your hands. “No I haven’t.”

“How come?’ It wasn’t a judgmental question that Jubilee asked and you could sense the question was more for your benefit than for his. 

“I just don't know he would even want a kid with me. We’re both so young and I don’t want to trap him into a relationship he never wanted.” You admitted, tears threatening to form.

“Oh Honey.” Jubilee pulled you into a tight hug. “Peter loves you so much, I just know he would want a kid with you. It might be a shock but he’s talked about spending his life with you.”

“Really?” 

“Yes really, that boy is so whipped for you it’s so funny.” She joked as she pulled away. She wiped your tears away gently and helped you off the floor. “You should tell him though, it's only fair.” You nodded your head in agreement and you excited the stall together. 

“Can you give me a minute to fix myself? I look like a mess.” You laughed. 

“Sure.” Jubilee left you alone to tidy yourself in the mirror. The minute she stepped out of the bathroom Peter bombarded her with questions.

“How is she? Is she okay? Does she wanna go home?” 

“Chill out she’s fine.” Jubilee replied, trying her best to hide her smile. She turned to Kurt and the rest of the gang. “Let’s go get a spot to watch the fireworks, (y/n) and Peter will catch up later.” 

They left Peter to his thoughts and he began to wonder why she wanted to leave you two all alone. The longer he sat there the more his thoughts drifted to negative ones. You came out a couple minutes later and Peter was immediately by your side. “Hey I missed you, are you okay?” You smiled at him nervously and took his hand in yours. “We need to talk.” Peter felt his heart stop at those words, but squeezed your hand in response. 

You led him over to an empty bench that was at some distance from the rest of the crowd. “Peter I-”

Before you could even continue Peter interrupted you. “Are you breaking up with me?” He asked in a small voice. 

“What no.” You cupped his face with both your hands. “No, nothing like that I could never break up with you. I love you too much.” You kissed him softly and he returned it. You pulled away running your thumb absentmindedly across his cheek. He moved his hand to cup yours. 

“What is it then?” You felt your heart pounding in your chest, drowning out all the noise around you. 

You wet your lips before meeting his gaze. “I’m pregnant Peter.” You were met with silence and immediately you took it as a rejection and started to ramble. “It’s yours but don't worry I’m not asking for anything and if you don’t want to have the kid I can raise them on my own. I can go back with my parents and I-”

“You're pregnant?” Peter repeated softly a smile starting to form on his lips. “I’m going to be a dad.” You nodded your head silently. “I’m going to be a dad!” He screamed lunging towards you and picking you up. He spun you around in circles, his head buried in the crook of your neck. 

“Peter!” You squealed. He gently set you back down and held your face in his hands. 

“You’re not mad?”

“Mad? (y/n) I couldn't be happier!” Your face broke out in a smile. “I love you so much, we’re going to be amazing parents!” He took you back in his arms, holding you tight and pressing kisses to the top of your head. You felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of your shoulder. “We have to tell the gang!”

Peter wanted to get there as fast as possible but settled for walking when he realized that the sudden speed might upset your stomach. “Peter I’m not that delicate.” You protested. 

“Not taking any chances babe! You’re carrying very precious cargo!” He rubbed your stomach slightly as if there was a bump there already. You let out a light laugh and he pulled you even closer. When you met up with the rest of the gang the fireworks had already started. Peter scared everybody by shouting at the top of his lunges that he was going to be a dad. He slapped Scott on the back with a hearty laugh nearly knocking his sunglasses off.

 “Watch it, Maximoff.” Jean stifled a laugh next to him. “Good luck spending the rest of your life with that idiot.”

You laughed and and Peter whined. “Babeeee.” 

Jubilee pulled you into a side hug, watching as Peter told random strangers that he was going to be a Dad, they just awkwardly congratulated him and he smiled proudly. “I see he took the news well.” 

“What!” Peter exclaimed as he sped back to your side. “You told Jubilee before me!” He proclaimed with mock hurt. You just rolled our eyes and nudged him playfully. 

“Yeah cause she likes me better!” Jubilee joked pulling you closer to her. 

Peter yanked you back to his side. “Not in a million years Lee.” He kissed the top of your head. You guys settled onto the grass with the rest of the group, you leaned back into Peter’s chest. He rested his head in the cook of your neck inhaling your scent. “Thank you.” He whispered.

You closed your eyes at his soft touch. “For what?”

You felt him smile and hug you closer, hands resting gently on your stomach. “For giving me everything I could have ever wanted.”

[scuttle-buttle]

What's One More?

WC: 3204

Rated: M

Tags: brief mentions of crime/mental illness/child abuse and neglect/substance addiction/theft, fluff, family dynamics, mentions of aging, mentions of difficult pregnancy, softness, anxiety attack

🧠

The harsh vibrating of a phone on the nightstand breaks your slumber. Still half asleep you toss your arm back to thump against your sleeping husband's side. With a groan he answers. You try to settle back into your pillow and the warmth of the blanket. Whoever has the balls to call at this hour has another thing coming - but later because your priority is going back to sleep.

He can't have been on the call more than fifteen seconds before he sits up in bed suddenly, turning on the bedside lamp; his movements grab your attention. You roll over. The light blinds you and you rub at your eyes to adjust. You can't make out what's being said. Looking at the clock to see that it's barely 4 am you know something bad has happened. Quietly you slip out from the covers.

Making your way down the hall you peek into your daughter's room, grateful that she's still fast asleep. Her soft snores punctuate the calm. Your nerves abate knowing she’s safe. By the time you get back to the bedroom Laszlo is up and getting dressed. "What's going on?"

He doesn't answer at first. You wait until he's finished buttoning his shirt to ask again. "Sara was called to consult on a triple homicide case - she's asked for me to come down to the police station. I don't know much yet, but it's something involving a young boy and she wants me to speak with him."

“Did he…?”

“No. He was not directly involved, that much we know.”

You nod, leaning against the door frame. This wasn't the first time that Laszlo had been called in by law enforcement and social services to assist with children and teens that needed psychological help. He had become more active around the time you graduated with your doctorate. After Sophia was born Laszlo helped fund an after school program for kids that focused on support for mental health and behavioral issues. He was so passionate about being able to help these kids. But it was never at this ungodly hour. "You'll call or something when you know what's up?" you ask through a yawn.

"Of course, Bärchen." He gives you a chaste peck. Gently he guides you back towards your bed and sits you down. "Go back to sleep, there's no need to worry. I love you." With that he left.

Your sleep is fitful with him gone. You worry over things that you aren't even aware of, over who is hurt, over how severe a situation it could be to have been called in the middle of the night, over the poor boy that needs Laszlo’s help. When your daughter tiptoes into the room around 6 you welcome her into the bed with open arms.

"Why are you up, baby bug?"

"Where's Papa?" She climbs up on his side of the bed and rubs his cold pillow. On her face is a deep frown.

"He had to go help some very important people early this morning. He'll be back to see you soon, I promise."

"I miss him. He always helps me with my shoes."

You can't help the smile that crosses your face. "I know, baby. But it's still early so let's take a nap before we have to get ready, hmm?" The two of you snuggle under the covers. With her curled into your side you do find rest, even for the short time before your alarm chimes.

The day moves sluggish as you wait for word from your husband. Little work was to be done today at the museum, so there wasn't much to keep your mind off the wondering. You considered calling. You considered texting. But you knew that when the time was right he would let you know. No news is good news, you think.

Finally the day came to a close. You picked up Sophia and stopped by the store on the way home to grab supplies for dinner. She insisted that she carry one of the bags inside - little miss independent that she was. “Careful not to drop it, okay? Use those muscles of yours to hold the bag tight.”

“Mama I know, I help Papa carry all the time,” she explains matter-of-factly.

The townhouse is quiet as you begin to unpack. You do a quick glance into the dining room and parlor to no avail. "Laz, honey? You home?" A few seconds later you hear movement from the stairs.

Your husband rounds the corner into the kitchen, swooping down to scoop your daughter into his left arm, peppering her face in exaggerated smooches. Her giggles light up the room from the dim atmosphere. He perches her on his hip. “How was your day my little dove?”

“So good Papa - I practiced my counting today at school. I can get the biggest in the class! Mommy said I must be the most smartest," she prattles on.

“Wunderbar!” he praises her before turning to you. “I didn't hear you come in." Laszlo kisses you.

Pinning him with a look you say "you also didn't call me today? You said you would and I've been worried all day."

Sophia crosses her arms and harrumphs from her father's hip; "me too Papa." He quirks an eyebrow at her before speaking.

"Yes… there is something I wished to speak with you on but didn't think it was suitable for the phone." You raise your own brows but continue to put away groceries. "I do not wish to discuss certain aspects of the case in present company-" he nods towards Sophia minutely "-but we do have a houseguest for the foreseeable future."

"Oh?" Your brows dip in confusion. This is not what you were expecting.

Laszlo peeks around the doorway and calls out "Stevie, would you come join us in the kitchen please."

Stevie? You don't know a Stevie...

A moment later a lanky boy with scruffy dark blond hair shuffles into the room. He can't be anymore than 15. His clothes are too big on him and his shoes are worn beyond belief; nevertheless he gives you a slight smile. “This is Stevie Taggert, he’s going to be staying here with us in the guest room for now.”

“Good evening Mrs. Kreizler,” the boy says nervously, his voice cracking.

You spare a look at your husband before turning to the teenager with a smile. “Ah, no need for that, kid. You can just call me by my name instead. And welcome to our home. You like spaghetti?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Awesome! And I’m certainly not old enough to be a ma’am,” you give him a wink. You set up a pot to boil the water for the pasta. Laszlo excused himself to spend some time with Sophia, leaving you and Stevie in the kitchen.

He clears his throat behind you. “Would um… is there anything I can do to help?”

"I would love that, thank you."

The two of you get to work on making dinner. Stevie doesn’t say too much, but he is very polite and does his best to be useful. Once the food is nearly finished your family has returned ready to eat. You send Stevie and Sophia to set the table.

“Should I be worried?” you ask Laszlo quietly, watching the doorway the two left through.

“I don’t think so. I just felt that I would rather he have a familiar face to adjust with instead of being placed in a group home like many end up.”

You study his face. “You’ve taken a liking to him haven’t you?”

“Well…" his face reddens at your question. "He reminds me a bit of myself when I was his age.” The conversation is cut short by the kids returning.

The rest of dinner and the evening goes smoothly. You make it a point to not bring up any questions that could trigger the teenager, especially before you’ve spoken with Laszlo about the situation at hand. When Stevie nearly eats his weight in pasta you say nothing, wondering how long it's been since he's had a good home cooked meal. He insists on helping clean up the dishes afterwards. Without even knowing what the boy has gone through your heart aches for him.

You set him up in the small renovated basement downstairs while Laszlo puts Sophia to bed. Handing him one of your husband’s old Harvard t-shirts to sleep in you tell him “I’m sorry you’ll be down here by yourself, but if you need us for anything don’t be afraid to come get us - no matter what time it is, okay? And if you get cold there’s an extra blanket right here for you. I know it's July but….” you shrug. “Tomorrow after I get home from work we can go to the store and get you some stuff to use, some more clothes, that kinda thing.”

“Yes ma’am.” At the teasing look you give him his ears burn red with his mumbled “right sorry.”

“Alright Stevie. We’ll see you in the morning, sleep well.”

Laszlo is in bed reading when you enter the room. Nothing is said as you ready yourself for bed. Slipping under the covers you face him. He sighs and closes his book.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I became caught up in the day and only arrived home with Stevie maybe half an hour before you did.” He sighs a second time. “Most of the case I cannot talk about, but what I can say is he was living with his mentally ill father, whom was also an addict. He missed the last few weeks of the school year and has been regularly stealing food to get by. He has no other family. I just… it didn’t feel right to let him process his experiences away from someone properly trained to deal with these sorts of things, in addition to how traumatic entering foster care at his age can be. I spoke with those in social services and was granted temporary custody until we find another more permanent solution.”

“Of course.”

He takes hold of your hand. “You aren’t upset with me?”

“I mean it would’ve been nice to have a bit more warning… but I get it. He can stay as long as he needs to. He’s a sweet kid,” you reassure him. “I told him that I would take him shopping after work tomorrow, so if you could pick up Soph from preschool that would be great.”

“Perhaps instead we can all go? I was thinking that I would bring him to the university with me so that he’s not alone all day. You could get her and then we could meet somewhere, get dinner afterwards?”

You lean closer to him to curl around his arm and rest your head on his shoulder. He always thought so much about others, especially children. Laszlo had such a heart of gold and it honestly left you in awe of just how much he was willing to give so that others could find peace and happiness. Like the older he got the more he had to give. The thought warms you. “How are you literally the best person I know? And to think you used to be so worried about being able to be a good father and now you’re the best of all of us.” He huffs a little as you nuzzle into his chest.

“I have you to thank for that, Bärchen.” He drops a kiss to your head. “But it’s getting late and I’ve been up all day. We should get some sleep.”

Soon after you're both dreaming.

___

Stevie had been with you for three weeks. It only took him a few days to start to settle in, and you discovered that he was quick with his wit and far smarter than he let on. He was a little bit of a sarcastic smart-ass at times, but all in good nature. He was endlessly entertaining. Laszlo sat down with him almost everyday to talk about what he was feeling, the things he experienced, and ways to deal with the loss of his family. Already you both saw improvement.

Even Sophia got on well with him. Most teenage boys wanted nothing to do with little kids, let alone a 4 year old that loved playing 'spaceship barbie'. But not Stevie. On his fifth day you'd found him sat on the floor playing with her and going along with her childlike imagination. When she insisted he play the barbie that needed saving he went along with it, high pitched voice and everything. He even encouraged her to pick up her toys before bed - a feat you and your husband struggled with at times. It struck you how much Stevie became a big brother of sorts to her.

Laszlo grew even more fond of the boy. He wasn't really one for TV, but every evening he sat and watched some show on Netflix about racing with the teen and didn't complain once. Laszlo had tried to explain the role of adrenaline in racing drivers as a psychological function, but Stevie just brushed it off and said it was the driving so fast that made it "cool".

The two did bond over an unlikely subject - punk rock. When you got home from work two weeks into his stay and heard the music blasting in the parlor you worried someone had broken in. Whipping into the room you saw Laszlo in his chair tapping his foot to the intense guitar and singing; Stevie nodded along to the music as he held an old album cover. It didn't take long for Sophia to start jumping along to the music too.

"What is this?" You yelled out over the bass - you couldn't recognize it and it clearly wasn't English.

"Die Toten Hosen, a band I listened to growing up in Germany. Stevie found the record and asked to listen."

"Listen? I think you mean blow out your eardrums!" Even with needing to shout to be heard you had to laugh at the situation. How your husband had a secret love for German punk you'll never know; yet you would never let him live it down.

And when Stevie came and woke you both up in tears three nights ago you made him hot chocolate while Laszlo sat down with him. He confessed that he had never been treated or cared for like he was in your home. How he wished he could stay because he felt wanted. Your heart broke for the boy. To be so young and so lost, craving someone to simply be there for him.

Yet everyday he grew more open. He broke out of his shell. He had goals and ambitions; he wanted to amount to something bigger than he had thought he ever could. It almost shocked you at how much fire was within him.

At how much he fit in with your little family.

At how it was like he was meant to be there.

___

Laszlo was oddly quiet when you got home. Sophia had run off to find Stevie, and you tracked your husband down to his office. He listened as you talked about your day for a good ten minutes; he said almost nothing the whole conversation.

You move closer to him. Placing the back of your hand to his forehead you check to see if he's feverish or sick. He didn't feel warm. "Laz, are you feeling okay?"

He gently pulls your hand down and leaves a kiss on your palm. "The department of social services called this morning to inquire about what we want to do with Stevie. This would be the third time they have asked."

He hadn't mentioned it to you at all that they were calling already. "Okay. What do you think we should do?" You pause for him to continue.

"I told them I would need to speak with you before any further decisions were made regarding him…" His fingers tap against the wood of his desk. "I'm not sure I have an answer for them. Nor for you." He swallows. "I'm afraid of what might become of him should he go into the system. Or that he will not get the support he needs given his past. Any option involving allowing him to stay for a bit longer is a commitment I won't make without your full support, of course. I could never ask that of you." As he speaks you can hear the frustration pouring from him, feel the irritation radiating through the room. "I refuse to give up on him- I- I just don't have the answers on what to do without them hounding me and he deserves better than this, dammit."

"He does… Do you remember on your 50th birthday, what you told me?" Laszlo looks up at you confused. "You said that you had wished you were ten years younger so you had the energy and time to do all of it again. That if you were younger we would've had a whole gaggle of kids - brothers and sisters for Sophia."

"Wishing I was younger doesn't make a difference in helping Stevie-"

"Laszlo - let's adopt him." Your words stop him in his tracks. You had decided not to have any more after your daughter was born. Laszlo was nearing 50 and the pregnancy had been hard on you. But regardless you knew that you both had the means and the love to give another child, probably five or ten more children if you really wanted to. So why not start with one that's already wormed his way in to the family? "I've seen how fond you are of him already. You've taken him under your wing as if he was your own. And how good he is with Sophia? Hell I couldn't ask for a better older sibling for her - and she loves him already. And honestly, Laz, I do too."

"You think we should adopt Stevie?"

"I think we should ask, yeah. He deserves a good home and a strong father figure that's going to put him first. He looks at you like you hung the stars, Laszlo. He needs us, and truthfully I think we need him. So yeah - what's one more added to this little shindig we've got going for us?"

"Have you-"

"-thought it through? Yes. Completely."

You can see the smile he fights to hold back. "We should call tomorrow and see what the protocol is for stating our intent to adopt and getting the paperwork."

"Um…" You shuffle your feet. Nose scrunched, you confess "I may have already called them. On the way from work I asked about what would need to be done if we wanted to pursue that route, but since they already know who we are from you working with them for years it can be fast tracked." You pull him out of his chair to stand before you. "All we have to do is say 'go'."

He has no hesitation.

"Go."

Laszlo doesn't hold back his smile or his laughter as he spins you around his office floor. You're certain your children downstairs can hear your giggles.

Tag list

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[donald4spiderman]

The City

masterlist

-

Summary: Reader is thinking about moving to California. Spencer’s determined to get her to stay.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Category: Fluff (angst if you squint)

**Inspired by Ben’s poetic confession in Parks and Recreations, S3E14**

Here’s a draft i forgot to post

-

**not edited yet**

Spencer’s POV

As a profiler, I’ve mastered the observation and analysis of behavior— we all have.

Picking the minds of serial killers is second nature— so why is it so hard for me to figure out why (Y/N) is behaving so strangely?

In the recent months, her witty and charming energy has dwindled into a lethargic imitation. Whether she’d admit it or not— (Y/N) can be extremely enthusiastic about certain things— especially our job.

So, when I watch her drag her feet, inch by inch, into the BAU each morning, It’s hard to contain my concern.

I know Morgan has noticed, and I’m sure everyone else has too. They’re probably just too scared to say anything. (Y/N) doesn’t enjoy people prying into her private life, so we all stay a comfortable distance away.

I watch her a lot... more than I’d like to admit. It’s hard to be unaware of her nervous behaviors— the nail biting, hair twisting, skin picking— I practically have enough data to make a correlation graph. I can tell when she’s upset, and it’s happening more than usual.

(Y/N) has always been kind to me. Even when I was at the peak of my stammering, slicked-back hair phase, she treated me with more respect than I deserved. I can only imagine how awkward I must’ve been (or, still am), and I thank her for not belittling me.

I guess I’m validating the Benjamin Franklin Effect when I say this— but I feel like I owe it to her to ask what’s wrong. Over the years I’ve built up (arguably) the closest friendship with her, so it only makes sense for me to bite the bullet for the team.

It’s partially due to the fact that I’ve developed a slight (if not major) crush over time, but who wouldn’t? A gorgeous, intelligent, quick-witted women is kryptonite for any person. Our conversations are always stimulating, she gives the best advice, and she’s always there to comfort a team member.

So, it pains me to see her struggle through a paperwork day. I wish she would reach out to anyone for help, but it’s not in her nature.

“H-Hi.” I smile as I approach her desk. Her tired eyes look up at me, and she smiles back.

“Hey, Reid. What’s up?

I rub the back of my neck nervously. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Morgan and Emily watching me struggle to form a sentence. They giggle as they watch.

“I-I was... um. D-do you want to get coffee with m-me? Not now! I mean— after work!” Morgan stumbles out of the bullpen, barely containing his laugh. I must sound pathetic.

(Y/N) nods hesitantly, “S-sure. I don’t know why you want to get coffee with me, but I’m free.”

“Really?” My surprise shocks her. “T-that’s gr-great! I can drive you!”

She chuckled, “I think I’d rather drive us. I’m pretty sure you can’t drive a mile without hitting a curb.”

I nod fervently. “Sounds good.”

As I make my way back to my desk, I send a glare in Emily’s direction as she continues to smirk at me.

-

(Y/N) grabs an empty table in the café, and we sit down, huddling close to our warm drinks. She orders a cinnamon latte, I order a black coffee with an unhealthy amount of sugar.

I place the drinks down. “Did you know that cinnamon is shown to reduce systolic blood pressure. It’s commonly used in South Asia and works by dilating blood vessel.”

She nods, “Surprisingly, I did know that. You’re gonna have to teach me something else, Doc.” I laugh in response, enjoying the relaxation that radiates off of her.

“I feel like we don’t get to, um, t-talk as much as I would like to.” My words get caught in my throat and she gives me a lopsided smile.

“Well, we don’t exactly have the most leisurely job.” She states, sipping her drink.

I bite my lip, she looks down. I convince myself that my mind is playing tricks on me, because there’s no way (Y/N) would glance down to watch me pull my bottom lip between my teeth.

“I know... but you used to talk more.”

“I’ve been busy lately. Tired too.” She mumbles.

I mean forward slightly, my voice is a hushed whisper. “A-are you... okay?” I’m anticipating an defensive response, but all she does is sigh.

“I’m alright. I just... I’m getting tired of being here— in D.C.”

My eyes widen and my brows knit together. “W-What! Why?”

(Y/N) shrugs, “I don’t know. I just expected to feel... really, really attached to D.C when I first moved here. I love my job, and I love you guys— but nothing’s keeping me here.”

My face drops. My disappointment is adamant because she scrambles to reassure me.

“It’s not that I don’t absolutely love working with you guys. You’re my best friend, Spencer. But... I came to D.C to... I don’t know... settle down.” It comes out as more of a question rather a statement. “It’s sounds weird, right? Me, settling down?” She laughs. “I-I don’t mean a husband and a family necessarily. I moved here because I wanted to belong somewhere.”

“You don’t feel like you belong?”

“I feel... I feel like everything I have right now is temporary. It’s not the feeling I expected to have. I just want to have something permanent in my life for once.”

I remain silent, lacking the proper response.

“Please don’t tell anyone!” She pleaded.

I smile solemnly, “I won’t. I promise.”

In that moment, I make another promise. Not just to (Y/N), but to myself. I’m going to show her how many things she has here for her in D.C.

I’m going to prove how much I believe she belongs.

-

I started by bringing her coffee each morning— a cinnamon latte from the same café we went to.

The first time she seemed pleasantly surprised. I sped through the doors of the bullpen, my coat and slacks absolutely soaked due to the rainy D.C weather. She giggled at the sight of my hair plastered to my forehead. I was certain that I looked like a wet dog.

“Morning!” I greeted, placing down both cups of coffee on her desk so I could fix my hair. “I-uh-I got you coffee. A cinnamon latte, of course.”

(Y/N) smiles brightly, “You’re the best. Thanks, Reid. I definitely needed this.”

Hotch and Rossi are watching me curiously, pretending not to look up from their files. At this moment, I could care less.

“It’s n-nothing.” Suddenly I’m blushing furiously under the weight of her stare.

“Thanks, again.” She clears her throat, “Y-you’re a really good friend.”

She smiles. And I smile.

-

In the next three weeks, (Y/N) and I grow closer at a rate faster then ever. I try to do something small for her everyday. Finishing up a file for her; Bringing her coffee or water; Sitting next to her on the jet. It appears to be working— she looks much more relaxed and happy. Her sarcastic humor is back and she engages more with the team.

We’ve decided to hang out after today. I find myself enjoying every minute with her, even if all we do is talk, eat, and walk around aimlessly. I’m sure she’s tired of me, but my infatuation with her only grows.

Tonight, we’re sitting at the park, watching people on their late night jogs, dog walkers, babysitters. We finished eating Indian food at a local restaurant. Turns out we’re both regulars at the same place, it’s a shame we haven’t run into each other.

She’s sitting criss-cross on the bench, her elbow rested on top of her knee. “You know,” She starts, “D.C is pretty great. I don’t think I’ve felt this... content in a while.”

I smile, even if it’s too dark for her to see. “Th-thanks. D.C is a great place, despite averaging 39 inches of rain annually.”

She means her head back against the bench. “I still don’t know. I feel like I’m just waiting for something. I don’t even know what that something is... a sign maybe?”

“A sign?” I laugh.

“Y-yeah... a sign. I’d usually make a pros and cons list and research the differences between the two places but... this decision feels too personal to look at it as just statistics.”

In this very moment, I decide to toss all my concerns, questions, what if’s, into the wind. This is my final move; my last resort; my Hail Mary.

My hands are trembling, and it takes me seconds to force the words out of my throat.

“W-well, besides the higher cost of living and considerably gloomy weather, D.C can be a p-pretty great place to reside. It has a busy political culture and is one of the most diverse states in the country.” I pause for a little longer than necessary.

“But, besides statistics and facts, if w-we look past objectivity, to me: D.C is where my friends are, and my friends are my family. Um... I like The City because it’s home to so many great people. A-and I know it’s hard to see the good in things considering how much violence we see on a daily basis, but certain people make me believe that things aren’t all that bad.”

(Y/N)‘a listening attentively, making me even more nervous than I thought possible. “D.C— The City— is beautiful. It’s charming. It’s a warm, cinnamon latte on a rainy day, o-or a late night walk in the park. To me, it’s home.” I catch her smirking a little bit, and I can only hope that she understands what I’m trying to say.

“Plus, The City is really good at her job. The City’s an excellent profiler. But, the city’s an even better friend, and an even better person. It doesn’t hurt that The City has great hair, and gorgeous eyes, and a perfect smile. And, she does this cute thing where she twists the ends of her hair, even if I keep telling her to stop. The City’s beautiful and definitely out of my league. She probably wants nothing to with me now, but I don’t care. I really like The City. And, even if she doesn’t like me back, she should stay, because there are so many people that like and love The City. ‘Cause who wouldn’t.”

(Y/N) is full on grinning right now, and it’s hard to stay patient when so much is on the line.

“Wow.” She giggles. “You really like The City.”

I chuckled awkwardly, “Y-yeah. I really do.”

“I mean, if you think The City’s so great, maybe I should stay. Plus, I’m sure The City likes you too.”

I feign confusion, “Really? I don’t know... The City can be kind of closed off sometimes.”

“Trust me— The City definitely likes you back. And I don’t think The City appreciates you saying that about her”

“Oh really?” I gasp. “Let’s ask her.”

I turn my head around, then proceed to look back at (Y/N) in the most dramatic fashion.

“Hey.” I laugh.

“Oh, Hi Dr. Reid!” She feigns surprise to match my frivolousness.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, b-but I really like you. And, a little birdy told me that you like me back.”

She laughs heartily, “Well, that little birdy is a pretty reliable source.”

Soon, her head is resting on my shoulder. My body’s stiff and the air is caught in my lungs, but I feel more content than I have in years. Somehow the weather is warmer, and the sun is brighter, and things just seem... better.

“This is a great city.” She mumbles, peering up at me in the most adorable fashion.

“Yeah,” I smile, “It really is.”

-

“Pawnee’s a really special town, I love living there. And, I look forward to the moments in my day where I get to hang out with the town, and talk to the town about stuff. The town has really nice blonde hair too. And, it’s read a shocking number of political biographies for a town, which I like.” - Ben Wyatt

[dearestjake]

Bye my first – Lee Jeno

Pairing: roommate/boyfriend! jaemin x reader x roommate/best friend! jeno

Genre: Fluff/Angst/College AU

Trigger Warning: swearing/unplanned pregnancy

Word count: 6.2k

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AUTUMN

“Hey,” You mumbled, looking at your reflection in the mirror as you held on to the pregnancy test in your hands – the two red lines evident in the tiny space in the middle of the said stick, indicating that you are pregnant and carrying your boyfriend’s child. You were practicing your lines, looking for the right words to say when you face your boyfriend but to no avail, you couldn’t find the right words to say; your mouth runs dry and you stutter at almost every word that escapes your mouth.

“Fuck this.” You muttered under your breath as you heaved a sigh, heading outside your bathroom and making a beeline towards your apartment’s balcony, letting the autumn wind brush through your hair as you sat down, admiring the sunset.

“Long day?” Jeno, asked as he sat down beside you, handing you one of the cans of cold beer he had brought for the two of you.

“Yeah.” You sighed, taking the beer he offered you and placing it down beside you.

“What’s up?” He asked, taking a sip from his beer.

“I’m pregnant.”

He stops for a moment, putting his beer down, averting his gaze from the setting sun to face you, his lips forming into a thin line.

Sighing, he scoots closer towards you, patting your back softly as he picked up his beer and taking a sip from it.

“Yep. Saw that coming, are you going to tell him?”

“Yeah… But I don’t really know how.” You sighed, resting your head on your best friend’s shoulder.

“You can just tell him like how you told me, y’know.”

“It’s not that easy.” You sighed.

“I know, but you have to tell him. It’s his responsibility – You’re his responsibility.”

“What if he doesn’t want it? You know he’s aiming for med school.”

“Then I’ll take care of it. I’m your best friend. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Psssh. Thought you wanted to be an engineer? Didn’t think you’d want to be a dad.” You said, giving him a weird look.

“Yeah. I do, I want to be an engineer. I’m just saying that if he doesn’t want the kid, we can raise it together like how our moms raised the both of us. I mean, it’s not like you can kill a child that easily– unless if you want to get an abortion, then I support it.” Jeno said, shrugging as he took another sip from his beer.

“No, I can’t do that. I–” You sighed.

“You have to tell him. You don’t have to worry; I got your back.”

“You’re not going to beat the shit out of him, are you?”

“I know Jaemin’s my best bro, but you’re my best friend too. He can’t fuck your life up just like that.” Jeno sighed, pausing for a moment to take another sip. “And yeah, I’ll beat the shit out of him if he refuses to take responsibility.” Jeno said, making you chuckle a bit.

“I’ll tell him when he gets home. Promise you have my back?”

“I promise. Really.” Jeno said, giving you a soft, reassuring smile.

Sighing, Jeno stood up from his seat, patting your back before disappearing to his room, leaving you alone in the balcony as the sun sets before you. It was a pretty sight – it was beautiful, but seeing the sun set and the darkness devour the entire city scared you, for that meant that Jaemin will come home and into the front door any time soon. You sigh, hugging your knees as you watched the buildings and the streetlights light up and brighten up the dark night. You sat there, staying still for another ten minutes, staring at the lights from the buildings and streetlights that brightens up the dark night skies of Seoul. You were just about to get up and head to your room when you heard a door open and close, making your heart race at the thought that it could be Jaemin coming through the front door but it wasn’t; it was just Jeno coming out of his room to go to the kitchen.

“Y/N.” He called out from across the kitchen counter.

“Yeah?’ You replied, averting your gaze from the bright city lights to look at him as you stood up and brushed your clothes.

“I’m feeling kind of lazy and we’ve run out of stock. I thought maybe we could order some takeout. Do you want anything?” He asked, leaning over the kitchen counter.

“I don’t know. Anything edible would do, I guess.” You shrugged.

“Is Chinese good with you–” He asked, getting cut off mid-sentence by the sound of the front door opening.

It’s Jaemin. He’s home.

“Hey.” Jaemin greeted, kicking his shoes off at the doorway. “I bought dinner for the three of us. I hope the both of you are okay with Chinese food.” He said, smiling as he lifted up the plastic bag that contained the ever-so-greasy-but-very-delicious Chinese food that he brought home.

“Chinese food’s fine. We were just about to order takeout.” Jeno said, leaving you alone in the kitchen to take the bag of takeout from Jaemin’s hands – just so that Jaemin can take off his coat and hang it on the coat rack by the door and so that he can set the food up.

“Hi.” Jaemin greeted, giving you a quick peck on your left cheek.

“Hey.” You said, flashing a small smile.

“Are you okay? You look kinda pale.”

“I’m fine… but… uh… we have to talk– I mean, I have to tell you something.” You said, bringing a hand up to your forehead to massage your temples in hopes of stopping yourself from thinking about the random thoughts that crossed your mind.

“O-Okay. Yeah, for sure. What is it?” Jaemin said, a hint of concern? confusion? maybe fear too, evident in his tone, but still he tried his best to smile his usual bright smile.

It was obvious that he was scared. He didn’t know what was going on in your head. He was afraid you’d break up with him when he loved you like you were his own world. You were everything to him, you were the first thing in his list of important things and med school was the third right next to his family.

“I-uh… I think it would be best if we talked in private.” You said taking a quick glance at Jeno who stood by the kitchen sink, giving you a nod, reassuring you that everything will be fine.

“Yeah, sure. That’s cool.” Jaemin said, swallowing the imaginary lump in his throat as he loosened his tie.

Taking a deep breath, you sighed, signaling Jaemin to come follow you to your room. You held the door open for Jaemin, waiting for him to get in. Jaemin sat himself down on the corner of your bed as you closed the door behind you. With how you were acting, walking back and forth across the room, Jaemin, being the worrywart he is, was looking at you with a worried expression plastered on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, stopping you in your tracks and cutting your train of thoughts.

“Wha– Yes. I’m fine. It’s just that I don’t know how to tell you.” You said, biting the skin around your nails.

It was evident that you were nervous and Jaemin knew that because you only bit and picked at the skin surrounding your fingernails during times when you were nervous or scared, and he knew for sure that it was the former because he was sure that there was no reason for you to be afraid of him.

“Calm down. Sit beside me. Breathe.” He said, patting the vacant space beside him.

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what? If anything, I think I should be the one afraid because you pulled the “we need to talk” card on me. Who knows? I don’t know what goes on in your head, maybe you’re planning to break up with me.” He joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

“What? No!”

“That’s good then, I guess.” He said, chuckling a bit.

“So…” You started, taking a deep breath and heaving a sigh.

“Yeah? Tell me babe, it’ll be fine. I promise.” He said, smiling a small smile as he held your hand.

“I’m pregnant, Jaemin. It’s yours.” You said in a low voice, though still loud enough for him to hear.

“I–” Jaemin started, stopping himself to swallow the imaginary lump in his throat, evident that he was taken aback by the sudden news that you are carrying his child.

He couldn’t say anything; not because he didn’t want it, and not because he didn’t see it coming. He knew it was bound to happen, he just didn’t expect it to happen now, considering the fact that he used a condom when you did it. But hey, condoms aren’t a hundred percent effective, there’s still this slim possibility that one can get pregnant even with the use of a contraceptive – you just happened to be that one person.

“I mean, whom else would it be? You’re the only one I’ve slept with–” You said, rambling on and on, getting cut off by Jaemin giving you a quick kiss on your lips.

“You’re rambling again.” He said, cupping your cheeks with both of his hands as he looked deeply into your eyes.

“What do we do?” You asked, bringing your hand up to place on top of his, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb.

“Whatever you think is right for the both of us.” He said, smiling a small smile. “What options do you have? Did you consider getting an abortion? Did you consider keeping it? Did you consider putting it up for adoption? Whatever you do, I’ll stand by you.”

“I don’t want to kill it. I don’t want to give it away either because what if it ends up in an abusive household? I want to keep it, Jaemin, but I also don’t want to hold you back from med school. I mean, you’re only a year away from getting into med school. If you’re not cool with it, then I’ll raise it by myself. I mean, my mom raised me by herself and I turned out fine.”

“What?– No! Of course, I want to be part of my child’s life. I mean it.”

“But what about med school?”

“Med school isn’t going anywhere. I can go to med school later. I’ll look for a job as soon as I graduate. I’ll get my nursing license. That’s good enough for me, as long as I won’t lose you. You know that I love you, right?”

“You can’t just throw your life away for me, Jaemin.”

“I’m not throwing my life away, Y/N. Just think of it as starting a new chapter with you and our kid. Okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Jaemin, for deciding to not flake on me.”

“Of course. Why would I flake on you?” He said, chuckling a bit as he pulled you in for a hug. “Now let’s eat our dinner, shall we? I hate cold noodles.” He said, pulling you up from your seat and out of the room, towards the kitchen counter where Jeno was sat, enjoying his bowl of noodles.

“So, guess what?” Jaemin asked, smiling from ear to ear. His eyes were glistening with joy, and excitement, and positivity.

Yes, he smiles a lot. That’s a given. Jaemin is a happy person, but it’s only once in a blue moon that you see his eyes glisten with pure joy and excitement. Even though you’ve been friends with Jeno and him your whole life; growing up together, going to the same schools and university and all that jazz, you’ve only seen the same exact expression whenever he got a new toy that he wanted so very badly from his mom, when he’s about to try a new kind of food for the first time, and when he passed his nursing college exam. Seeing that made you happy, because that made you sure that he wouldn’t leave.

“What?” Jeno asked, not bothering to look at Jaemin. He was too focused on eating his noodles.

“I’m going to be a dad!” Jaemin said excitedly, smiling over at Jeno who stayed unfazed by the news, as he stirred the noodles that he got for you.

“Hmhm.” Jeno hummed, nodding as he took another mouthful of his food.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Jaemin asked, his excited smile turning into a bored expression.

“Hmhm.”

“You’re no fun. You could’ve at least acted surprised you know, even though it’s fake.” Jaemin said, pouting as he handed you the bowl of noodles that he had mixed for you. “Kinda bummed that you knew before I did.”

“Dude, I saw it coming even before she told me. She made me run to the drugstore mid-shower.”

“I did not.” You gasped, appalled.

“Yeah, you did.” Jeno said.

“Oh yeah, I did. Sorry about that. I panicked.”

“Who wouldn’t? It’s cool though. I understand, I’ve been through this–”

“What?” Both you and Jaemin exclaimed, cutting Jeno off.

“I know what you guys are thinking. No. I didn’t get anyone pregnant. I’ve never even had a girlfriend. It was for my sister.”

“What about that Yeeun girl? Didn’t you go to prom with her? I’ve always thought that she was your girlfriend because you guys were always together even though she was our senior.”

“Okay, first of all, she wasn’t my girlfriend. Second, even if she was, I would never sleep with her, because I was just seventeen back then. And third, yes. I did go to prom with her but just because the girl I wanted to go to prom with already had a date.”

“Who did you want to go to prom with?” You asked.

Jeno sighs, pushing his now empty bowl on the side so he could rest his arms on the counter. “Just this girl that I liked for a really long time.”

“Come on, tell us. Who was it?” Jaemin asked, taking a mouthful of his now cold noodles.

“Just… someone.” Jeno sighed, taking a quick glance at you before getting up from his seat, taking his bowl with him to the sink, washing it before he stormed off into his room.

It was you. He wanted to go to prom with you. Yeeun was just someone who liked him a lot and tried to force herself in his life; he just went to prom with her in hopes of making her stop following him everywhere he goes – which fortunately did happen, after he told her off while keeping as polite as he could. Thankfully though, Yeeun took it well, swallowed up her pride and did her best to understand Jeno’s situation and wished him luck. Yeeun was a good person; she was smart, kind, and she was a very nice person in general. In fact, he did like her, but only as a friend. It was you he liked the most. You were his person and he knew that. He wanted you to be his partner in crime, his other half, the moon to his stars, the peanut butter in his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he wanted to give his whole life to you – it’s just that Jaemin beat him up to it and never got the chance to tell you how he truly felt about you.

Shutting the door behind him, Jeno flicked the light switch off, leaving his room illuminated by the dim LED lights on the sides of his ceiling. One second, it’s red, then blue, and purple, and green – it changed every second, very much like the emotions he felt when you told him you were pregnant. He wasn’t completely sure whether he should be happy that Jaemin decided to raise the kid with you or not. He knew that he wanted to be happy for you, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it a hundred percent; because to him, that meant that he had to say goodbye to you, his first love.

Sighing, Jeno swiveled his gaming chair towards his desk, flicking his desk lamp on as he grabbed a pen and his notepad.

“Love I only have you

When I said

I’ll put my life on the line

To prove you will be my last love was yesterday

It was a clumsy first love, love

I’m always by your side, next to you

I followed you around everywhere I might as well stick to you

I thought everything would work out if we did everything together…”

He hummed as he wrote along his notepad, tapping his pen every now and then whenever he had to think of the right words that would go well with the song he was trying to write. Like all of his other compositions, he wrote this one for you. Well, it’s not like he could tell you how he felt about you for the past ten years; you already had Jaemin and he knew very well that you loved your boyfriend a lot, so he writes songs – about you and how he felt about you.

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WINTER

“Y/L/N. Is There a Y/N Y/L/N in here?” The nurse from the nurse’s station called out.

“Yep. That’s me!”

“Dr. Qian will see you now, please head to the ultrasound room.” The nurse said, placing her clipboard back down on her desk.

“Okay.” You muttered to yourself as you got up from your seat in the waiting room, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you made your way towards the ultrasound room.

“Hey, welcome back! How have you been feeling lately?” Kun, your gynecologist, greeted as soon as you went in.

“Hey, I’ve been good. Tummy’s starting to show up a bit, now that I’m in my twenty-first week.”

“Shall we get started?” He asked, leading you to the examination bed.

“Yeah, but can we wait for my companion? He went to the washroom.”

“Sure. But please, make yourself comfortable and let’s get you prepped up for the examination and then we’ll start when he gets back.” He said, smiling politely as he applied the warm gel across your stomach.

“Hey.” Jeno greeted as he silently went in the room, taking a seat at the seat beside you.

“Shall we start now?” Kun asked once again, earning a nod from you.

There it was, the tiny human being living inside you on the screen with its tiny hands and feet. It kind of looked like it was waving its hands “hello”, making you feel a sudden wave of emotions simultaneously, making you tear up a bit.

“Are you okay?” Jeno asked, holding your hand, smiling a small smile as he looked at you with concern plastered on his face.

“Yeah, just a bit emotional.” You said, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

“Don’t cry ‘cause if you keep that up, I’ll end up crying too.” Jeno joked, making you chuckle a bit. “Look at it, it’s so cute and terrifying at the same time. I heard it has fingernails too.” He said, scooting his chair closer to you.

“They do. I mean, they do have fingernails.” Kun chimed in.

“Damn, I thought that was fake news.” Jeno said. “Did you hear that baby? You have fingernails! You better not scratch your way out your mom’s belly. That’d be bloody as heck.” Jeno said, moving closer to your belly, pretending to talk to the baby but much to your surprise the baby started kicking upon hearing Jeno’s remark, making the both of you laugh.

“The baby kicked! I guess the kid likes to joke around with its dad.” Kun said.

“Oh, I–I’m not the dad.” Jeno said, awkwardly scratching the nape of his neck as he leaned back on his chair.

“Oh.” Kun said with wide eyes as he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. My mistake. Anyway, would you like to know the baby’s gender?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Yes, please.” You said, nodding.

“Well, your baby is a boy. He’s completely healthy; heart rate’s normal and all, so you don’t have to worry about anything.” He said, wiping off the gel from your abdomen. “I’ll see you again in four months.” Kun said with a smile as he handed you a clear photo of your ultrasound.

“Thanks Dr. Qian, I’ll see you soon.” You said as Jeno helped you get up from the examination bed.

The walk on the way to the bus stop was silent; it wasn’t awkward or anything, it was rather comfortable and it was silent just because you didn’t really have anything to say and neither did Jeno. The two of you just simply walked together with both of your hands stuffed in your own coat pockets, gripping at the now cold disposable hand warmers that Jeno had gotten the both of you earlier before you went to the doctor.

You let out a soft sigh, bringing your hands up to your mouth, breathing into them in attempt to warm them up a little bit, but to no avail, it didn’t really do anything.

“You good?” Jeno asked for what seemed like the nth time, looking at you with concern.

“Yeah.” You said, letting out a sigh, shivering when the cold wind hit your skin.

“Give me your hands. You can have my hand warmers, they’re still a bit warm.” He said, giving you his hand warmers. “Do you feel better now?” He asked.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to give me your hand warmers though.”

“You need it more than I do, so I want you to have it. Wear this too, your scarf’s too thin, your neck’s gonna get cold." He said, smiling a bit as he wrapped his thick scarf around your neck. “You have to take good care of yourself. You know, you have to keep yourself healthy, for the baby and all.”

“Thanks, Jeno.”

“It��s all good. You don’t have to thank me.”

“Still, I want to thank you. For always being there.” You said, smiling over at Jeno.

He didn’t really say anything, instead, he slung his arm around your shoulders as he smiled, pulling you closer to him and taking your bag to carry it himself. Afterall, looking after you and being there for you was the least that he could do as your best friend. As usual, just like what the two of you used to do when you were in high school, the both of you sat at the back of the bus, you on the seat by the window, and Jeno on his spot by the aisle. As for Jaemin, he would either stand and use the hand rails, or sit on the seat next to yours; and just like now, it was always Jeno by your side.

You were greeted by the warmth of your apartment when you opened the door; the lights were off, it was quiet – the only thing that could be heard was the jingling of your house keys and your faint breathing.

“Do you want me to start the fire?” Jeno asked, tossing his keys to the kitchen counter.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it. It’s a lot of work anyway.” You shrugged, plopping yourself on the couch.

“Nah, I’ll get the fire started in a bit. Just give me a minute to get out of these clothes. I’ll change into something more comfortable. You should get changed too, though it’s much better if you took a warm bath to remove the gel from earlier. I’ll get the hot water running.”

“Thanks, Jeno.”

“It’s no big deal.” He said, smiling a small smile before disappearing into the bathroom.

It wasn’t that long before Jeno came back to the living room in a fresh pair of sweatpants and his favourite blue hoodie with his guitar strapped around his torso.

“Hot water’s ready, you should take a bath. I’ll get the fire started.” He said, sitting next to the fireplace, setting the firewood and lighting it on fire.

You nodded, flashing Jeno a small smile, hugging him from behind.

It’s just a hug; it wasn’t much but it made his heart jump – the butterflies in his stomach, went into some type of frenzy as if they’ve been released for the first time after being locked up in a lepidopterarium for a very long time. He felt the same feelings he felt when you were both seventeen, when you kissed him on the swings of the local playground after you ran away from Mark’s 18th birthday party. He remembers it like it was yesterday; Afterall, it was his first kiss – you were his first kiss, and he was yours too, you were just too drunk to remember that because you’ve had a few drinks that night.

“I–I think you should take a bath now.” Jeno said, clearing his throat as he slowly removed your arms around his waist.

With that, Jeno sighed as he placed the matchbox on top of the fireplace, watching you walk on the way to the bathroom. Plopping himself on the couch, Jeno cleared his throat as he picked up his guitar on the floor, placing it on his lap, making it a table for his notepad as he wrote lyrics for his song that he never got to finish.

“Ooh I know everything everyone else knows…now that I am not young… I told you to trust me, Love doesn’t end with experiences. I don’t think I’ll get over it...” He hummed, biting his pen before scribbling the lyrics onto his notepad.

“I think that sounds… okay?” He muttered to himself, scratching his head as he adjusted his glasses. “I guess I’ll have to try playing it. That’s the only way I can find out.” He said, sighing as he placed his notepad aside, clearing his throat as he started stumming his guitar.

“Fuck this.” He muttered to himself, annoyed. “Why is it that I can’t find the motivation to finish this fucking song?” He said, grunting as he covered his face with his notepad.

“Maybe it’s because you lack inspiration? Maybe you need to go somewhere to find inspiration?” You said, lifting his notepad off of his face.

“What? – No!” Jeno exclaimed, eyes shooting open as soon as he heard your voice, snatching his notepad from your hands.

“Hey!”

“No. You can’t read the lyrics.” He said, hugging his notepad tightly.

“Why? You always let me read it.”

“Not today. It’s not yet done.” He said. He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t being completely honest as to why he didn’t want you to read it either – he was afraid that it was too obvious that the song was about you.

“Okay, chill. I won’t read it if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you.”

“Instead, can you play something? I heard it’s good to make the baby listen to music.”

“Sure.” He said, strumming his guitar, playing a familiar tune.

You knew what he was playing. It was all too familiar; you just couldn’t put your finger on it. You knew what it was but you weren’t sure where you heard it. Not until he started singing the lyrics.

“Come with me, my love

To the sea. The sea of love.

I want to tell you, how much I love you…”

It was the song that his mom always sang to the three of you when you were kids; the song that always put you to sleep, the song that comforted you whenever you were sad. It was the song that Jeno always played for you on his guitar when you were in high school. It’s been a while since he sang this song.

“How could I forget that?” You thought to yourself, shaking your head lightly before humming along to Jeno’s singing.

For the second time, Jeno repeated the same lyrics he sang earlier, only this time, he looked at you dearly as he sang the words “I love you”. You didn’t think too much about it, he always did that every time he sang this song for you and you always thought that it was nothing. Afterall, you’re already in a relationship with Jaemin. Though it didn’t mean anything to you, for Jeno, it meant a lot because that’s the only way he could tell you how much he loved you without you noticing it.

It’s selfish of him to love you while you’re in a relationship with his best friend. He knew that; but he also knew that he loved you first, it just so happened that Jaemin asked you out first. It just so happened that his timing was off and all he can do now is to look after you from afar, love you in secret, take good care of you as his best friend, and be there for you in your happiest moments even though it hurt him deeply. He knows it’s selfish to hang around you, but he just finds it hard to let you go even though he wants to wish you the best. He’s happy to see you happy but it hurts him to see you happy with another person when you were happier with him before you and Jaemin got together.

“Jeno! He kicked! The baby kicked.” You said excitedly, pulling Jeno’s hand and placing it on top of your baby bump. “Feel it.”

“I don’t feel anything–” Jeno shrugged, getting cut off mid-sentence by the baby kicking. “Oh, shit!” Jeno said excitedly, chuckling a little bit.

“I guess he likes the song too.”

“Maybe he does?” He shrugged. “You like it, don’t you?” He asked, moving closer to your belly as he talked to the baby, earning another kick.

“Woah, I guess he really does like it. He’s quite a kicker though.” You said, laughing a bit.

“Well, I’m glad to know that I have a fan.”

“Hey! I was your first fan–” You said, punching Jeno’s arm playfully, getting cut off by the sound of the front door opening and closing. “Jaemin!” You exclaimed, jumping up from your seat, running towards Jaemin, leaving Jeno alone in the couch.

“How was your appointment?” He asked, kicking his shoes to the side of the doorway as he gave you a quick peck on your lips.

“It was fine, Jeno helped me carry my bag so it wasn’t hard going there and getting home.” You shrugged, resting your hands on your waist. “Oh! And I have something for you.” You exclaimed, running to the living room, fishing through your bag for the picture of your ultrasound.

“Here.” You said, handing Jaemin the photo.

“Wow.” He smiled, tracing the outline of his son’s tiny hand with his index finger. “Did your doctor tell you the gender?”

“Yeah. It’s a boy. We’re having a boy, Jaemin.” You said, excitement evident in your tone.

“That’s amazing!” Jaemin said excitedly, wrapping you in a tight hug as he smiled excitedly.

Jeno couldn’t do anything but sigh as he sat alone in the couch, watching you share your news to your boyfriend. He was hurt because of the fact that he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that he could’ve been the one to celebrate this news with you if only he didn’t hold himself back from telling you how he felt back then – but then again, what’s done is done. He can’t bring back the past, the only thing he can do now is to be happy for you, so he gathered his things and went to his room. Putting his guitar aside next to his full body mirror, Jeno walked towards his computer, plugging in the speakers that he got from his sister on his birthday last year, playing his playlist before plopping himself on his bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on his ceiling before eventually falling asleep.

It was already two in the afternoon when he woke up the next day; it’s not like it mattered though, besides, it was a Sunday and he didn’t have any classes.

“Jeno?” Jaemin called out from the other side of the door.

“Yeah?” He replied, groggily rubbing his eye with the back of his hand as he turned off his music that had been playing since the night before.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” Jeno said, ridding of his hoodie as he changed into his oversized batch shirt. “Come in.” He said, opening the door for Jaemin.

“Can I talk to you?” Jaemin asked.

“Sure. About what?”

“About this.” Jaemin said, fishing a small velvet box from the pocket of his sweatpants. “What do you think? Do you think she’ll like it?” He asked, revealing a silver ring with tiny diamonds surrounding it upon opening the box.

“W–Wow.” Jeno gasped, speechless. “I guess this is the end.” He thought to himself. Clearing his throat, he answered, “Yeah… I think she’ll love it.” He said, flashing Jaemin a reassuring smile.

“Glad that you think so.” Jaemin said, letting out a relieved sigh as he closed the box and slid it back into his pocket. “I have a favor though.”

“What is it?”

“Can you drive Y/N to the local amusement park at four o’clock?” Jaemin asked, looking at Jeno as he fidgeted with his fingers.

“Yeah, for sure. Four o’ clock. Yeah, got it.”

“Thanks, Jeno. Take her to the middle of the amusement park, okay? Right by the gazebo.”

“Got it.” Jeno smiled, letting out a sigh as soon as Jaemin left his room.

“Fuck.” He sighed to himself as he brought his hands up to his face, rubbing his temples as he looked at the floor beneath his feet.

As much as it hurt him, it’s not like he can do anything about it so even though he hated the idea of it, the only thing he can do is to do what was right to make you happy – that being, driving you to the amusement park two hours from now and watch you get engaged to the father of your child. For this he knew that he had to get ready, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Physically – he needed to take a shower and change into new clothes, wear a coat, look nice for one of the happiest moments of your life; mentally - he needed to accept that it’s the end for his unrequited love for you; and emotionally – he needed to stop whatever it is that he feels about you and just be happy for you. With that in his plate, he dragged himself to the bathroom to take a shower, slid on a pair of jeans, a hoodie, and the coat that you got him for Christmas last year.

“Hey, Jaemin told me to bring this to him in the hospital, can you drop me off?” You said, swinging Jeno’s door open.

“I was just about to tell you to get dressed because Jaemin asked me to drop you off.”

“Oh. Let’s go, then.” You said, leading the way out of your front door with Jeno following you from behind.

The drive on the way to the amusement park was silent, it wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable – just like how it always was. The only thing that could be heard was the faint sound of the wipers on the windshield, the faint sound of your breathing, and the sound of the hot air coming out of the heater.

“This isn’t the way to the hospital.” You said, watching the buildings pass by.

“Just trust me on this one.” Jeno said, making a u-turn towards the entrance of the local amusement park.

“Jeno, what are we doing here?” You asked as Jeno stopped to park the car in an empty parking slot.

“Just trust me.” He said, hopping out of the car and holding the door open for you. “Follow me.” He said, holding your hand as he leads the way to the center of the park.

“Jeno, stop. I have to bring Jaemin’s medical kit to the hospital–” You said, getting cut off mid-sentence my Jaemin calling out your name.

“Jaemin? What are you doing here?”

“I asked Jeno to drive you here, don’t worry.”

“I thought you were at the hospital. What are you doing here?”

“I just thought that…” He said, pausing for a moment as he got on one knee, fishing the same velvet box he showed Jeno earlier in the pocket of his slacks.

“Jaemin…” You gasped covering your face, knowing fully well what he’s doing.

“Y/N Y/L/N, you know that I love you, right?” He asked as you got teary-eyed, making him chuckle. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” You said, nodding excitedly, earning loud cheers from the people that gathered around to witness Jaemin’s grand proposal.

This was it. The end. This is the end for Jeno’s feelings for you and he knew it.

“I hope you’re happy. I’ll love you, forever and always, remember that. Goodbye, my first.” Jeno said silently to himself as he walked silently back to his car.