#I want to avoid doing things that make me happy. I want to rot

[thissummerisviolent]

See I put this pressure on myself to be the perfect partner and perfect friend and everything. And im not very good at it but im still trying and wow am I failing. But im sooo nice im so cruel and gentle I can make you laugh. And no one is stopping me from communicating my own issues but myself, but you dont understand. I can be perfect, I can become the perfect emotionless lover, I just have to try harder.

[enha-stars]

✧ Matchy, matchy ; S.J

Pairing: Bf!Jake x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: To be loved is to be known. And you were. And he was, too. You knew him and he knew you, and neither of you would have it any other way.

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff, down bad jake, down bad reader, freak: matched (lovingly), abandoned food, kissing, suggestive, gift giving as a love language,

A/n: happy anniversary to my beloved, @karinasbaby . My love for her inspired this, so… comeback?? Possibly. Stay tuned.

In the dimly lit, slightly damp hallway, Jake carefully turned the key in the lock, pushing the door open with the gentlest of nudges to avoid any noise. He slipped inside his apartment, his footsteps silent against the hardwood floor. The soft glow of evening light filtered through the curtains, casting a warmth hue over the room.

He was about to head to your shared bedroom when an enticing aroma caught his attention, causing him to stop mid-step. His heart skipped a beat as he realized the source of the delightful smell was in fact, coming from his kitchen.

Tip-toeing closer, Jake poked his head into the kitchen to the sight of you standing at the stove, your back turned to him. You were humming a soft tune, completely absorbed in your cooking. The sight of you, dressed in one of his old t-shirts, hair loosely tied up, glasses resting on your head, made his heart swell until it almost burst out of his chest. 

Jake’s lips curved into a bright smile as he quietly moved towards you, setting the gift bag down by the wall. Careful not to make a sound, he reached your side and paused for a moment, taking in the scene. The table was set for two, candles ready to be lit, and the counters were adorned with fresh ingredients. Jake recognized the variety on the table and his smile widened. He knew what avocados and limes meant and his stomach rumbled.

Unable to resist any longer, he stepped forward and gently wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close. You let out a small gasp of surprise, dropping the spoon you were holding as you turned your head to look at him, heart beating rapidly and eyes wide.

“Jake! Oh my gosh,” you exhaled, trying to catch your breath. “You scared me.” The smile that had twisted onto your lips and the sparkle in your shiny eyes told him that he had the same affect on you that you had on him. 

Jake kissed your cheek softly, nuzzling his face into your neck. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, angel.” He did, and she knew it, too. “I just couldn’t resist.” 

You laughed, a sound he was sure the tides pushed towards because you were a celestial being to him, bright and unearthly. If he could bottle your laugh and drink it, have it swim in his veins forever, he would. 

“Well, I missed you and I wanted to surprise you. How was the harbor?” You picked up the spoon once more and stirred the pot of beans and ground meat. Knowing this mood of his, you turned off the stove. 

You wouldn’t be eating anytime soon, anyways. 

“It was okay,” he murmured, tightening his embrace. “Riki fell into the water but it only reached his hips.” He grinned against your skin when you snickered. He could feel your body shake beneath his hands and he pressed himself against you tighter. “I missed you, baby.” 

You turned in his arms, facing him fully. Your eyes met his and you could feel every ounce of stress, every fleeting miscellaneous thought, fade away. His eyes, shiny and sparkling, held yours with nothing but heat and affection. 

Jake swallowed, afraid to blink. He was afraid that if he blinked, you may disappear. It didn’t matter how long he had you, he wanted you for longer. He wanted forever. Eternity, even, if he could ask for it. 

Your eyes glazed over his face, taking him in after not seeing him for a few hours. There was a small smudge of dirt under his right eye and you did the only thing you could do. Holding his chin in place, you licked your thumb and rubbed the dirt off his face. 

Jake stared at you feverishly, eyes on your face; taking in the way you slightly pouted your lips, sticking your tongue out a bit. It was a habit you had learned from him, one he cursed himself for all the time.

“There,” you mumbled to yourself. “All clean.” You dropped your hands to his chest and met his gaze. The warmth in it almost made your legs buckle but his grip held you upright. 

“I love you,” he said. Before you could say anything, he dipped his head towards yours. His lips hovered above your own as he whispered, “I got you something.” 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you tilted your head up, trying to meet his lips but he stayed slightly out of reach, forever teasing you. “Yeah? What’d you get me?”

Jake almost gave in, feeling your warm breath against his lips. He wanted to kiss you until you forgot your name, but he enjoyed this. He enjoyed making you wait, the push and pull.

“It’s a surprise,” he mumbled. “You have to sit on the couch.” His lips briefly, for the lightest of seconds, brushed against yours and you almost whined out his name. 

“Jake,” you exhaled, eyes squeezed shut. Jake loved you like this; all bothered and slightly desperate for him. Usually, he was the one like this, the one on the cusp of begging and asking. When he got you like this, oh, you looked stunning. “Come on,” you tried. “Tell me.” 

Jake simply shook his head, his lips brushing against yours tantalizing. “Gotta wait, angel.” His lips curled upwards at the small noise of frustration you made and he stepped back, hands dropping to his side. He watched with heated eyes as you blinked back into yourself. He loved being the only one to have you like this. 

Before he could take another step back, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards you, smashing your lips together. You swallow his slight gasp of surprise and smile against his lips as he melts into it, hands cupping the sides of your face as your lips move harshly against each other. 

Unable to help himself, Jake steps forward and pushes you backwards until your back is flush against the counter. The slight dig makes you gasp in pleasurable pain and he slips his tongue inside your mouth, laying claim to what already belongs to him. He grips the counter, caging you in.

You clutch his shirt, lips moving roughly against his. Jake slots his knee between your legs and the new pressure manages to pull a breathy moan out of you. Jake pulls away, eyes still shut as he tries to catch his breath. There’s a string of saliva that connects your bruised lips and he presses his lips against yours softly, licking your lips clean. 

“Fuck,” he exhales. He opens his eyes and almost groans at the sight of you; breathing deeply, lips red and plump, eyes slightly dazed. You looked almost fucked out and he hasn’t even touched you yet. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.” 

You laughed at his words and slid your hands up to the base of his neck. “So, this gift…” 

Grinning, Jake nipped at your lips before stepping back. “Go sit on the couch, pretty.” He simply shook his head when you frowned at him and he watched you reluctantly walk out of the kitchen and into the living room with eyes filled to the brim with adoration. 

He waited until he heard you fall back onto the couch. Even then, you called out and let him know you were sitting. He was sure his heart was going to burst out his ribs and break through his skin with the amount of love and affection he felt for you. 

Grabbing the small gift bag, Jake made his way to you. When you heard his footsteps, you straightened your back and turned to face him, giving him your utmost attention. Jake often gifted you small, minuscule things, and you loved and appreciated every single thing. It was how he loved, and so you always made sure to focus on him and what his gift was telling you. 

Kneeling down in front of you, he looked up at you as you shifted to the edge of the sofa. You spread your legs a bit and he shuffled between them. His lips twisted and you pinched his nose, immediately seeing the flicker of heat and desire that spread through his eyes. “Don’t even think about it,” you warned. 

“Jokes on you,” he smirked. “I’m always thinking about it.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him and traced the outline of his lips. “Freak.” 

“Matched,” he countered, licking your finger when you pressed it down on his bottom lip. 

You both grinned at each other before he cleared his throat and lifted the gift bag, moving it towards you. Gently, like it was made of gold, which to you, it practically was, you grabbed it and set it down on your thigh. 

Jake watched you curiously as you picked the gift wrapping sheets out of the bag. He stopped breathing momentarily when you reached into the bag and pulled out a small, coffee coloured teddy bear plushie. 

His eyes, which could never and would never stray from you, focused on your expression; the way your eyes widened in surprise and then fondness, the way your small smile twisted into a wide grin before your lips parted in content. He watched as your eyebrows raised in surprise, the way your eyes crinkled. 

You looked so happy, so adorable as you gently patted the bear's head. Lost in the gift, you barely noticed Jake’s warm gaze and the way he shuffled forward, resting his cheek against your other thigh. He was more than pleased with staring at you like this forever. 

“Jake,” you whispered, pulling him out of his staring. He blinked and lifted his head, shaking the hair out of his face. With one hand, you held the bear tightly. With the other, you brushed his hair out his face, smiling a little wobbly. “I love him. What’s the special occasion?” 

Jake shrugged, slightly overcome with emotion. He didn’t think he would be, but you had that effect on him. “It’s uh, well,” he licked his lips. “I saw him at the harbor and thought of you. I knew I had to win it for you.” 

You stared at him, eyes widening at his words before you bit your bottom lip. You glanced at the bear in your hands and let out a quiet chuckle. At the sound, Jake looked back at you, eyes sparkling. 

“Jake,” you sighed. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. His eyes shut automatically and he breathed out in content. “This is actually really funny,” you murmured against his skin. 

“Hm?”

Pulling away, you set the bear down beside you and tapped his head twice. He opened his eyes and frowned in confusion when you motioned for him to move. Looking like a kicked puppy, he shuffled backwards and gave you enough space to get up. 

From the carpet, he watched you as you walked to the breakfast table. You pulled a chair back and grabbed something he couldn’t see. Hiding the item from his sight, you turned to face him. There was a twinkle in your eye, one he loved to see but didn’t understand. 

“Sit up on the couch for me, baby.” You motioned him to get up with your head and like the obedient boyfriend he was, he pushed himself off the carpet and fell back onto the sofa. 

Satisfied, you walked towards him, hiding the item behind your back. Jake tried to glance around you but with one look, he sulked into the couch, crossing his arms. Tsking, you sank to your knees and he immediately spread his legs. 

Your eyes traveled from his thighs up to his eyes and his eyes crinkled in amusement, an arrogant smirk ghosting on his lips. “Thinking about it, aren’t you, angel?”

You licked your lips, trying to focus on the present in your hands. “Don’t be freaky right now, Jake. We’re trying to be sentimental.” 

“So you are thinking about it,” he mused, spreading his legs further. You blinked and tried to ignore his tactics. It wasn’t even your fault really, not when his feelings and excitement were practically staring right in the face. 

Clearing your throat, you pinched his thigh to get his mind out of the gutter. Once the lust in his eyes died down a bit, you smiled bashfully at him. 

“What’re you hiding, angel? What’s in your hand?” He tried to hide the curiosity in his voice but you caught it. Because, while he liked to give you things, you also liked to give him things. Despite his calm demeanor, you knew he was always excited. Just like you were. 

Gosh, the stars really did love you both. 

“Well,” you started. “It’s funny that you got me that bear because I…” When your explanation fell short, you brought the bear in your hand towards Jake, handing it to him. He stared at the chocolate covered teddy bear in pure astonishment, almost like it couldn’t be real. 

You shuffled forward, resting your hand on his thigh. Rubbing small circles on his skin, you tried to ground him. Despite getting small gifts from you all the time, he took them each to heart. You wondered when he would accept the love he deserved. 

With a gentleness that made your stomach tingle, he held the bear carefully in his hand. It was small in his hands, but the weight of it felt almost overwhelming. You watched as his eyes glistened with something adoring, the way his lips parted prettily, curving into a smile so bright and beautiful it could have blinded you. 

“Angel,” his voice was hoarse with emotion, “why did you… how?” With soft, featherlike fingers, he caressed the bear as if it was your skin. His eyes were filled with wonder and if you could have captured this moment in its exactness, you would have lived in it. 

“I saw it the other day while I was shopping. It reminded me of you so I bought it.” 

Your words snapped something in him and he set the bear down, eyes ablaze. You barely got enough time to look at him before he scooped you into his arms and set you in his lap. Blinking, you stared at him, dumbfounded. 

With your legs on either side of him, you shuffled a bit closer until you were comfortable. Then, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed yourself against his chest, his hands wrapping around your waist. 

“Hi,” you whispered. 

His lips wobbled and he brushed his nose against yours. “Hi, angel.” 

“So, do you like the bear I got you?” 

Pressing a kiss to your jaw, he nodded. “I love it so much. So, so, much. I can’t believe we got matching plushies accidentally.” 

You laughed and kissed the edge of his smile, wanting to bask in it forever. “We match each other's freaks so well. We’re practically soulmates at this point.” 

Pulling away, he gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “The fuck you mean practically? We are soulmates. I’m marrying you. We’re going to die together and be buried together in one casket.” 

“Oh.” You grinned at him. “Okay, baby. Whatever you say.” 

He tiled your head upwards and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. Then, he grabbed both of the bears and handed you yours while he kept his close to his chest. “What are you naming him?” 

You hummed in thought and stared at the bear in your hand. Naming your plushies was important to you. Names were important, and they had to be meaningful. Jake shouldn’t have been so turned on while watching you think of a name for a plushie, but he was. He knew you could feel it, but, having your priorities straight, you ignored him. 

“I kind of like Buoy.” 

Jake blinked at you before he softly laughed, amazed at your naming ability. “Buoy?” 

“Yeah, Buoy. Named after that slightly orange buoy by the harbor. That, and you’re my anchor. Always keeping me afloat and all.” 

Jake wasn’t a crier, but the amount of times he had almost burst into years tonight had hit a new record. Trying to swallow the emotion that bubbled in his throat, he rested his head against your chest, hiding in your embrace. You laughed at his antics and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“What about you? What are you naming her?” 

Jake lifted his head and the look in his eyes made you hold your breath. You could feel every single vein in your body vibrate and you knew you were in for a long night. 

“I’m naming her Quesadilla.” The seriousness in his voice threw you off and you weren’t sure if you should laugh or clap him on the back. Instead, you simply raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Why Quesadilla?” 

“I’m naming her that in honour of the quesadillas we won’t be eating tonight.” 

“What are you–” You were cut off by Jake tightening his grip on you and flipping you over. A surprised laugh escaped your lips as you found yourself lying beneath him on the couch, his body hovering over yours.

You weren’t sure where your bears had gone, but that was the least of your worries. Jake leaned down, his face inches from yours, eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart beat in your ears.  “I’m only hungry for you tonight, pretty girl.” His lips hovered above your own and your throat went dry. 

You reached up, your hand cupping his cheek as you smiled up at him. “Have me then, Jake.” 

Jake’s expression softened and he closed the distance between you, pressing a tender kiss to your lips. It was a simple tease, a highlight as to how the night was going to go, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

You would, after all, have your fun after he had his. 

[whetstonefires]

Thinking about the parallels set up between Wei Wuxian and Mo Xuanyu, and how actually most of them are oddly specious.

The sketch of the backstory lines up, but on close examination they're mirror images.

Wei Wuxian wasn't kicked out of his sect, he left it. Wei Wuxian didn't hate the house he grew up in, he loved it, and getting the people there killed was the absolute last purpose for which his dark powers were ever intended.

Jiang Cheng was no Mo Ziyuan--his jealousy was a complicated thing all twisted up with love, and while he would lash out at Wei Wuxian both as a casual means of shit communication and more damagingly in moments of high tension, he had neither the desire nor the ability to bully him, and in general respected his boundaries almost too well.

When Wei Wuxian destroyed himself about Jiang Cheng, it was to give him cultivation, and protect his life and happiness. He would never have killed him.

Madam Yu was a domineering aunt-like figure, who hated Wei Wuxian for reasons of reputation, and because she had resented his dead mother, but she crucially did not have the power to actually disrupt his lifestyle to any significant extent.

Mo Xuanyu was shut up in a small room to rot; Wei Wuxian didn't even attend classes unless he wanted to. Mo Xuanyu was weak and disliked; Wei Wuxian was brilliant and popular.

Mo Xuanyu's uncle is a cipher of a figure, without character or agency, a nonentity who is resented to death apparently mostly for what he didn't do; in theory he is the master of the house, but he certainly never protected his wife and son's punching bag from them.

And this is what got me thinking along this track: because people keep interpreting Jiang Fengmian as this, as exactly like Mo Xuanyu's nameless uncle, a nonentity who lets his wife make all the decisions, and is contemptible therefore.

He shows up in fic characterized this way all the time, handled narratively as a gap rather than a person, an absence where there should have been a parent, and it's...totally inaccurate? The man only has a few scenes but the things that are most firmly established about him are:

he regularly goes out of his way to protect Wei Wuxian

he's extremely fond of Wei Wuxian

he cares a lot about ethical behavior

he's conflict-avoidant and gentle

he can and will overrule Yu Ziyuan when he's made up his mind, and there's nothing she can do about it

his communication skills are mediocre at best

he doesn't understand jiang cheng

he has a dumb sense of humor

Now almost none of this made it into cql besides point 4 and maybe 6, 5 is technically there but buried by the cinematic framing, so I totally get why the fandom on the whole struggles to characterize him well, and it's easier to write him off.

But it keeps bugging me to see him and Yu Ziyuan squashed into the mold of the Mo, because not only is that boring and reductive and kind-of-missing-the-point, it's like. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's characterization suffers a lot when you alter the environment and take away the influence exerted by their shared father figure.

Jiang Fengmian was Wei Wuxian's primary adult role model and it shows.

Jiang Cheng's relationship to his own sense of ethics is fraught because 'teaching him good ethics' was his dad's number one parenting goal, but they misunderstood each other so badly (partly because Yu Ziyuan kept loudly misinterpreting them to each other, which is so realistic I can't get over it, that's exactly how it works good lord) that Jiang Cheng has a direct association between the concept of 'doing the right thing even when it's hard' and a feeling of personal inadequacy.

The fact that Wei Wuxian got their dad-person's approval for being exactly himself and Jiang Cheng not only couldn't do that, he couldn't even get that same level of approval when he really pushed himself to rise to expectations, because Jiang Fengmian did not intend that warmth as a 'reward,' and so never realized he was withholding it, and therefore misunderstood Jiang Cheng's visible jealousy as a dangerous sense of personal entitlement that had to be carefully restrained, which reinforced his distrust of Jiang-Cheng-the-person and fed into a shitty loop where they were less and less able to relate to one another--that's fantastic. That's so human! I love it so much.

Both their failures are their own but at the same time it would never have gotten so bad if Yu Ziyuan hadn't been interjecting herself in there, in the middle of their relationship, fucking it up. That's family, baby.

I would ofc like if there was more fic engaging with the subtleties of all this because it's so good, mxtx did such elegant work here and it is not sufficiently appreciated. But it's the kind of thing that's hard to write good fic about; I am struggling with it myself.

So mostly I wish there was just more fic that didn't impose Mo Xuanyu's cliche angst backstory on Wei Wuxian, who has a whole different thing going on.

[jamil-s-wifey]

If you're taking any scenario request. Maybe could I request funny/silly one where Leona and his S/O are married and live in the Royal Palace. Leona's S/O has gotten lost somehow in their own home and when found their response is "This place is too damn big I'm sorry!"

You have NO idea how much I love these types of fics! Wholesome crackheadedness at its finest✨ We love a spouse with 0 orientation skills. (I'd know, I get lost in supermarkets) This was ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I've EVER written. I hope you enjoy!

"What the actual fuck."

A turn here. A turn there.

Oh, would you look at that - the exact same vase you passed 5 minutes ago. But was that really the same vase? Or was it its evil twin, trying to further confuse you, only for you to get lost even more and die of starvation, eventually BECOMING ONE WITH THE PALACE...

God, whoever built this palace should have their head on a stake. Haha, that sounded a lot like the Red Queen of Hearts. Perhaps Riddle was rubbing off on you. You two did text occasionally since graduating from NRC.

Speaking of graduation, you married Leona. (yay!) And it's not like you weren't happy. Life was relatively peaceful. You two moved back to the palace. Arrangements had begun for you two to take over a certain part of Sunset Savannah, as something akin to a *Peerage. (They had their own name for it, you are currently far too annoyed to remember.) A lot of (semi-forced) communication set the road to reconciliation between the two brothers. (Admittedly a very long road. A road that puts Gulliver's travels to shame.) The Royal Family™️ accepted you with open hearts. (albeit a tad wary at first)

Really there was only one major problem.

The ROYAL PALACE IS LIKE A GODDAMN LABYRINTH. And that's rich, given your history of painting the white roses with Ace and Deuce in Heartsabyul's maze. So here you are, lost.

Scratch that.

Lost: again.

And all you wanted to do was find Cheka's room. You had a gift for the little cub.

"An architectural masterpiece, my ass. This is an architectural disaster. A disaster with a capital D. D for Vitamin D - what I won't be getting, because I'm trapped within these walls, where the SUN CAN'T REACH ME-"

Okay. Calm down. It's not that bad, sure there isn't a soul in sight, but you're bound to stumble upon somebody at some point, right? There had to be servants, or guards, or somebody! UNLESS! This is all an elaborate plan to get rid of you.

Aha! That must be it. The Royal Family wants you dead and they intend to make it seem like an accident! But Leona wouldn't allow that, right? He loves you! Dearly! You're his spouse, his one and only! Ah, cruel fate.

Is it just you...or are these walls moving in on each other. So this IS an assassination attempt! And you presented yourself on a silver platter. Good job, s/o. Splendid work. A royal for a few months and you're already about to be assassinated. Your name shall remain the book of "Dumbest ways to die." Goodbye cruel world-

"S/o."

Leona's voice rang through the empty hallway, "What are you doing out here."

Ah! And so tragedy was avoided once more!

"Leona, my LOVE! Thank God."

"Did you just- get lost in the palace... again?", his eyes read annoyance but his tone was teasing.

"It's not MY fault this place is so damn big, what do you need all this space for anyways? Indoor badminton? Hide and Seek or Die?"

"Definitely that last one. That's how we get rid of our enemies."

"AHA! I knew it! So this IS an assassination attempt!"

He simply rolled his eyes, pulling you towards him to wrap an arm around your waist and kiss you on the forehead.

"This isn't an assassination attempt. You did this yourself. It's called idiocy."

"You should build a better palace."

"What I should do is put a collar on you. With a tracking device on it. Like a pet."

"Oh, Leona~ Who knew you were into that~"

"Next time I'm leaving you here to rot."

"Then I'll haunt you to Hell and back."

He smirked, pinching your cheek as you were both making your way far from the cursed looping corridor.

"At least you won't be able to get lost."

"I told you, it's not my fault."

"Nah, of course not. The Palace is just cursed."

"EVIDENTLY."

You both knew this isn't the last time you'll be getting lost. And Leona was seriously considering the tracking device.

Perhaps he'd already ordered it too.

You were about to find out.

*Peerage - collective noun for titles like Duke, Duchess, Count, Earl etc. Comes from "Peers of the Realm" where one could hold one or more of these titles. It differs from monarchy to monarchy. THAT'S YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY FOLKS!

[measuredingold]

Noah got a new tattoo 😍 Can you write something related to that? 🤗

authors note: i think i got a little carried away but… something short n sweet :) hope this is what you were looking for lol tooth rotting fluff 😮‍💨

"You think it looks alright?"

You huff out a laugh as you gently rub the disinfectant soap over the back of his neck, being as gentle as you possibly can.

"Baby, it's literally gorgeous. Jordan did an amazing job." You feel him wince under your touch and your lips drop into a frown. "Alright?"

"Just sore." He mumbles out, and then follows it with a laugh. "I don't know what hurts worse. Getting the back of my neck blasted for hours or having to keep it bent like this."

Your frown disappears as another laugh slips from your lips, reaching for a paper towel, gently dabbing over his neck. "Your neck is gonna be sore for the next few days, bub. Better get used to it."

You already know he’s pouting without having to see his face, not happy about being sore, but still speaks softly under his breath. “…Worth it.”

You smile to yourself as you pat his neck dry before reaching over for the moisturizer, gently rubbing it in. He makes a noise, a happy little sound. You thought the coldness from the cream probably felt soothing against his skin, and another smile tugged at your lips. After a few more seconds, your hand drops from his neck, running down his back.

"All done."

He turned around to look at you, a satisfied smile settling on his lips. "What would I ever do without you?"

"Don't know," You hum. "Good thing you won't ever have to find out, huh?"

"Yeah." His smile only grows, eyes softening as he stares down at you. "Good thing."

Your eyes fluttered shut as he bent down, lips barely brushing against your forehead. You leaned into his touch, arms slipping around his waist to bring him closer to you for just a little longer.

“Hungry?”

“Starving.” You moan dramatically as he pulls back, but you don’t bother untangling your arms from him.

“Thank fuck. Me too. Wanna order something?”

“Mhm. Whats the mood for tonight?”

“Hm.” His lips purse in thought as his arms rest against your shoulders lazily, head tilting. “Ramen?”

“Wow. You read my mind, Sebbe.” He smiles down at you, pressing another kiss to your forehead.

“I’m just that good.” Noah finally untangles himself from you and steps away from your touch, stepping around you to leave the bathroom and to enter your shared bedroom. “Usual?”

“Yep.”

You do a quick clean up of the bathroom counter while he orders both of your meals, and you can’t help but feel warm all over that you don’t even have to tell him what you want. He just knows.

It’s been years but the little things still get to you.

“It’ll be about thirty minutes, is that cool?”

“Fine with me.” You step into your bedroom to find him rested on the bed, on his front, avoiding lying on his back. “Think you can wait that long?”

“I guess.” He mumbles dramatically, tossing his phone onto the bed. He rests his cheek on his forearm, head turned to stare over at you. “I’m sooo hungry, though.”

“You poor baby.” You tease as you crawl onto the bed beside him, already feeling more at ease having him close to your side. “Looks like we’ll both have to suffer until then.”

He shifts beside you before planting himself on top of you. You huff out some air at the weight of him on you, but don’t push him away. Instead you wrap your arms around him, letting his get comfy and rest his cheek against your chest.

“That’s perfectly okay with me.” His voice is muffled, but you can hear the smile on his lips.

Your fingers instantly thread through his hair and feel him practically melt into you.

“Good.”

[drdemonprince]

I am always clutching to my idealized reality firmly with both fists. Whenever my hair looks good in a photograph, I immediately get to stressing about the fact that my hair has already grown some imperceptible amount since when the image was captured. Then I cut it, hoping to restore it to its former perfection — and my head gets completely mangled by my clippers and shears. I deny myself my favorite foods and drinks sometimes, knowing that the meal will too quickly be over. The moment someone begins to love me is when I start picturing them dead.  Many late-realized Autistics develop relational patterns that therapists label codependent, controlling, or Borderline. I wonder how much of our supposedly dysfunctional attachment can be attributed to our desire for constancy, and our attempts to impose stability on a reality that forever shifts. For Autistics, most social interactions are mystifying and seem to play out on their own, largely beyond our control. Possible rejection hides in every corner, much of it unforeseeable to us.  Doesn’t it make sense we’d try to control what we can?  When a partner remarks that he’d like to get a bigger mattress, I want to chop off the sides of the bed to force our bodies closer. I want to hiss at every new person that enters the friend group to scare them off. Though all my queer loved ones are enlightened polyamorists, whenever someone I love starts texting someone new I fantasize about slipping away with their phone in the night, unlocking it, finding the new contact, and blocking the threat into oblivion.  I don’t do any of this, of course. But in my selfish, rotted heart, I want to be like Hannibal Lecter, drugging his patients and hypnotically conditioning Clarice to be in love with him. When I learned that Jeffrey Dahmer drilled holes into his lovers’ heads and filled the cavities with hot water and bleach to keep them from abandoning him, I could kind of understand it. And I hated myself for it.  I don’t actually have the stomach to be violent. My war with reality happens only inside. Besides, I know that if I were actually to try and control another person’s life, it would just send them running away. I learned that the dozens of times that I completed boyfriends’ homework for them, paid their rent, wrote cover letters for friends’ job applications, and inserted myself into fights that weren’t mine. I have tried to pull at others’ strings to keep them all happy and around me, but it only ever sent them running away, sad tangles of threads left round my fingers.  People like me must be why Autistics have a reputation for being cold-hearted, unfeeling, and unable to recognize the interiority of anyone else. I’m an anarchist in principle and a lover of my own freedom, so I would never wish to impose my will onto another person. I am terrified of the urges for control and permanence that lurk inside me. I’m afraid of where they might take me, and so I never give voice to them — In fact, I rarely give voice to any of my desires at all.  I let people do what they will without ever voicing my opinion. That’s the only way to truly avoid becoming the Dahmer in my mind. My method of control is to ask nothing, and give everything, hoping that one day another person will notice and choose to be devoted to me.  But even then, they’d change on me. It’s in the nature of all living things. 

I wrote about the Autistic fear of change, where it comes from, how it affects our relationships, and the many ways that we attempt to cope with change, both for good and for ill. It is free to read or have narrated to you on my Substack.

[quin-ns]

The blue VI (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Series summary: JJ has a secret, and he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto it. He discovers his breaking point when his best friend starts to show interest in you, his step sister, who he’s already fallen hard for

Series tags: step brother!jj, dual pov, jealousy, one sided john b x reader, drinking, inappropriate relationship, public sex, oral sex (f receiving)

A/N: the moment we’ve all been waiting for

Series masterlist + OBX masterlist

You felt bad for Kiara, knowing you probably hadn’t been the most pleasant company for the past few days.

Usually when the two of you had sleepovers it was all night gossip and games and sneaking out, but you weren’t up for any of that. Best you could offer was laying in her bed with her and watching videos on her laptop with some minor conversation.

You didn’t really have the capacity to think about anything else but your royal screw up with JJ.

She tried to get you to talk about what happened, but how could you? It didn’t take a genius to figure that something went down, but you’d rather have her think it was just an argument.

You still couldn’t believe what you’d done. You kissed JJ. You actually kissed him.

At the time it was you wanted, but then you let doubt get the best of you.

And now JJ probably hated you. Ironic how he thought it would be the other way around.

It wasn’t like you wanted to hurt him, but you had a hard time grappling with the very confusing feelings you now held for him.

It all started with that first kiss. You never would’ve known what you were missing if he hadn’t gone and done that.

“I love you, but it’s a perfectly good Saturday night and I am not spending it in my bedroom,” Kiara complained, forcing you out of your own head.

She pulled the fluffy blanket you had claimed as yours off of your body.

“What? Hey!”

You didn’t even remember her getting out of the bed. The two of you had practically been rotting beneath the covers all day.

“Up!” she demanded. You looked up and found the stubborn face of your friend looking back. “Come on.”

“Ugh, fine.” You forced yourself to sit up, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed. Kiara stood with her arms crossed while you frowned up at her. “Happy?”

“I’d be happier if you told me what happened with JJ that was bad enough to make you act like this,” she countered, raising her brows expectantly.

“I told you it was just a disagreement.”

“And I told you not to lie to me.”

You averted your gaze from hers. It wasn’t like you wanted to be dishonest with her, but it was better than the truth.

“You said you don’t wanna spend the night in your room,” you said, rising to your feet. “So… what do you want to do? You get to pick.”

“There’s a party tonight at the Boneyard,” Kiara declared. Evidently she’d already had a plan prepared. “And we’re going.”

Getting dressed with Kie actually helped to uplift your mood. You were both determined to pick out nice outfits for the other, and thankfully you’d left enough clothes at her house to have options.

You ended up in a cute crop top and some jean shorts. Dressing in the summer was always easy.

“Pope just texted me and said he, JJ, and John B are all going,” Kiara informed, reading off her phone as you made your way to her jeep. “You good with that?”

You wanted to see JJ. Even if he was pissed at you, you still missed him. You wanted a chance to talk to him, to explain what happened and admit a few things you had yet to fully accept.

“Yeah,” you replied, climbing into the passenger side. “Good with me.”

You and Kiara arrived with a wave of newcomers spilling onto the beach. The party was really getting started now.

Wandering around the beach, you kept an eye out for JJ. The sound of his voice traveling, blonde hair—something. Him being out of your sight was something of a new occurrence. After about ten minutes of trailing behind Kie as she talked to people and got a drink, you began to doubt he was even coming.

He was definitely avoiding you, and you decided you weren’t very much in a party mood after that.

You were about to ask Kie to leave until a familiar face approached.

“Long time no see,” John B teased, a smile on his face at the sight of you and Kie. “I missed you guys.”

Kie put a hand on her hip. “And here I thought you went to the dark side.”

She was referring to his boss—Kiara didn’t talk about it much, but you knew she wasn’t a fan of Ward Cameron’s daughter, Sarah. John B working for the family wasn’t her favorite thing.

“Very funny,” John B dismissed sarcastically. Thankfully Kie didn’t seem to mean it as much as she had in the beginning. John B fixed his gaze on you, and he took on a more thoughtful expression. “You got a second?”

You glanced to Kie, and she gave you a nod to say it was fine to leave her alone. You offered John B a smile. This conversation was coming too, it was just a matter of when.

“Yeah, sure.”

John B tried to find somewhere less crowded, but that wasn’t really an option unless you wanted to totally ditch and go into the woodsy area of the beach, but that seemed inconvenient. You ended up sitting next to one another on a big tree trunk that had fallen horizontally. People were milling around, but they were more distracted by the keg a few yards away. No one would be paying attention to either of you, much less eavesdropping.

“So, what’s up?” you asked when you sat down.

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk since a few nights ago,” John B started, a shyness to him that you usually didn’t hear directed at you.

You watched as he ran his hands over his knees, searching for what to add.

“I wasn’t avoiding you or anything,” you told him, trying to ease his nerves. “I’ve just been busy with Kie.”

“I know, I didn’t think you were.” John B gave you a small smile before he continued. “I don’t know how to say it right but I’m gonna try anyway,” he decided, meeting your eyes. “Your friendship means a lot to me… and so does JJ’s. And as big of a crush as I have on you, I don’t wanna risk losing either of you over it.”

“That’s mature of you,” you said, trying to not react at the mention of JJ.

“Recently I’ve been forced to think about what’s important to me, y’know?”

At the vague reference to his father, you tried to not retreat into your own mind about all the “what-if’s” in life. With everything going on you hadn’t thought about your mom’s situation in a while. In a strange way it was somewhat a relief, but you’d prefer to not have anything going wrong the way it had been.

“I think it’s for the best,” you agreed, honestly more relieved than you imagined yourself feeling. “You’re a great guy, and any girl would be lucky to have you.”

John B chuckled at the flattery before saying, “You just make sure to tell her that, alright?”

It was your turn to laugh at his teasing tone.

“You got it.” You meant what you said about him. “I’m glad we talked.” You found yourself in a better mood than you had been all day.

“We should find Kie before she thinks we’re getting into trouble,” John B commented. “And, for the record, I am too. Happy we talked.”

You gave him a smile at that. “She’ll survive,” you replied to the former statement, but looked out in front of you nonetheless, trying to spot the other girl.

You caught a glimpse of blonde hair instead.

JJ.

It was definitely him. You’d recognize him anywhere from his walk to his clothes, and you just had a feeling in your gut. It was him, but he disappeared into the crowd as soon as you saw him.

Your heart skipped in your chest. You got to your feet, everything else forgotten in that brief moment.

“You good?” John B questioned, clearly sensing your urgency.

You turned and plastered on a smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you lied. “We can split up and look for Kie—divide and conquer and all that.”

“It shouldn’t be too hard… okay, then,” John B trailed off, half chuckling behind you as you took off in the direction you swore JJ went.

If it wasn’t him, you must’ve been delusional.

Your heart continued to race as you found JJ at a keg, filling up a cup. So it had been him. Nice to know you weren’t losing your mind with longing that you imagined it. You never quite pictured this for yourself when it came to JJ, but as badly as you wanted to run to him, your feet were heavy.

Now or never, right?

You managed to walk up to him before he could lift the cup to his lips (and before you could freeze back in place) and he spotted you. You couldn’t quite place the look on his face, but it was more hurt than angry.

He stayed in place when you stopped across from him, but the way he glanced away from you told you that you had to talk fast.

“I’m glad you’re here, I’ve been looking for you.”

JJ scoffed, shaking his head, drink forgotten.

“You must have me mixed up with John B,” he mocked. “Although good job, ‘cause you found him.”

“We were just talking,” you defended.

“Right, sure.”

“I’m serious, okay?” you implored while he gulped down his drink. “We’re just friends.”

“Well, good for you.” JJ dropped his cup to the ground as he began to walk away, not even giving you a chance to answer his question that followed. “Is that all?”

You watched him for a second, a frown working its way onto your lips. You saw his shoulders slouch as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

You snapped into action and followed after him.

“No, it’s not,” you rushed out, trying to fall in line with his steps through the sand but remaining a few behind him. Finally, you reached out and grabbed his arm when you realized he wasn’t going to stop. “Can you just hear me out?”

JJ turned, looking at your hand on his arm before meeting your eyes. You missed that shade of blue. You let out a sigh when your pleading worked. You saw it on his face before he said anything.

“Fine,” he agreed, keeping his guard up. “Talk.”

You glanced around, noticing the people in the surrounding area. You swallowed.

“Can we go somewhere alone?” you asked, knowing you couldn’t say everything you wanted to with all these ears nearby.

JJ led the way into the woodsy area of the beach. Calling it the woods wasn’t really fitting because it wasn’t thick like a forest. It was clusters of palm trees and shrubbery that lined where the beach met dirt, with grass sticking out of the sand. But none of that really mattered, what was important was that it was away from all your peers crowding the shore. It took a minute of walking until you felt like you could talk freely, the only sense of the party nearby being the music faintly filling the air.

JJ stopped and you did too, standing across from him. It felt like there was so much distance between the two of you, even if it was really only a yard or two. You never realized how rarely he left your close proximity until now.

You weren’t sure where to start, so you just… started speaking and prayed the words would come.

“I don’t know what you think you saw, but John B and I really were talking about being just friends. He said my friendship—and yours—mattered too much to mess up, and I don’t even see him like that. I promise, JJ.”

JJ stayed quiet for a moment, but he looked like he believed you.

“Okay,” he said, eyes low as he nodded. “Cool.”

Irritation crept in quickly. “You can give me more than one word answers, you know. I’m trying to be serious with you.”

His eyes flicked up at the sass in your tone.

“What do you want me to say? Thank you for not dating him?” he snarked. “Because thank you, I really do appreciate it, y’know?” His voice was raising and you understood why he’d been so careful with his answers before. “You can’t be with me but hey, at least you won’t be with him!”

You clicked your tongue at his words. You really wanted to have a genuine conversation with him but JJ didn’t seem too keen on that.

“I forgot, you can’t take anything seriously,” you muttered out of annoyance, but he heard you loud and clear.

“Right, yeah, everything is a joke to me. Like when you kissed me the other night—that was so funny,” he shot back, taking a step closer. “What’s also funny is I came here ready to pour my fucking heart out like an idiot to you, and you’re already over it all.”

“What makes you think I’m over any of it?” you accused, throwing his tone right back at him. “You can’t just assume shit and then act like it’s the truth! I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, if it makes you feel any better. But hey—probably not! Because apparently you don’t believe anything I say now, even though I’m telling you that there’s nothing going on with John B and there won’t be! I kissed you, not him, remember?”

You saw JJ’s throat bob as he swallowed, and it made you realize that you had moved forward to close the gap.

“Yeah, I remember,” he finally said, voice much lower than before. “I also remember you changing your mind.”

“I didn’t change my mind,” you confessed, hugging yourself. Now was your chance to try and put words to everything. You had JJ’s attention and even if he looked like he was going to storm off any second, you knew he wouldn’t. You took a breath. “When you kissed me I—I had no idea what to do or think. I didn’t know you felt that way about me and it kinda… I don’t know. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it made me realize that everything we are to each other has never been what it was supposed to be. I didn’t know how to accept that, I guess, and so I did push you away, and I’m sorry. But then at the movie when it was just us I let myself slip up for a minute and I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry for that too.” You took a shaky breath. “And now here we are and I don’t really know where to go from here—I know that’s not fair but I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t know what to do.”

JJ’s eyes had stayed on your face through the entire admission, even when you couldn’t meet his gaze. When you finished, you swallowed back tears. You couldn’t quite read the look on his face. You weren’t sure what he was going to say, or what you wanted him to say.

“If I kiss you again are you going to push me away?” he finally asked, a sense of desperation in his voice.

Words almost failed you, but you managed to get out a small, “No.”

That was all it took, and then JJ’s lips were crashing against yours.

Your head spun as you kissed back, not denying yourself what you knew you wanted. Ever since the first kiss, you’d wanted more. You could admit that now.

Your hands fisted in the fabric of JJ’s shirt and pulled him impossibly close. He fell into you eagerly, hands gripping your waist.

His kiss was feverish, hungry to taste you after being denied for so long. You tried not to let your mind drift and instead focused on the now. Everything else could wait, but right now you and JJ had the world to yourselves.

That thought really won when your fingers drifted to the hem of his shirt.

“Is this okay?” you asked softly.

If the heat between the two of you wasn’t so intense, you might’ve laughed at the look on JJ’s face. You might as well have told him he won a million dollars.

“Yeah,” he rushed out. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip. “Definitely okay.”

With that he leaned back in, lips on yours once more. You let him control the kiss while you focused on removing his shirt. As you pulled it from his body, JJ had to part again. In that instant, you admired him in a way you hadn’t before. Heat rushed through you as he returned to devouring your lips.

JJ’s hands wandered to your shirt, and with a hum against his lips and a nod, you let him pull it from you. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. Neither could you.

In a mess of hands and fabric, you ended up on the ground, naked in JJ’s lap, his knees digging into the sand as he stared up at you. Your body was a temple and he was here to worship.

Curious hands ran across your exposed form and ocean eyes drank you in. You’d never seen such a look of awe on JJ’s face before and you were thrilled by the idea.

“You’re perfect, you know that?” he said, sounding about a second away from losing it. “I mean it.”

Your heart fluttered. Words failed you. You managed a light nod, which caused a smile to spread across his face.

“I love that you think that,” you managed, taking a deep breath. You found his smile, his eyes, his hands on your body—all of it felt right. “I love you, JJ.”

A look crossed JJ’s face. You’d never seen it before. It was more than awe, it was more than disbelief. Adoration. He adored you.

“I love you too,” he said. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry with relief. “You—you’re everything to me.” He swallowed. “I never thought I’d get to say that.”

“You can,” you said, voice softer than you’d planned. You lifted your hips. “As much as you want…”

One of JJ’s hands held your hips tight while the other lined himself up. Hungry eyes couldn’t decide between watching your face or watching where your bodies were about to meet as you lowered yourself down into his lap.

The head of his cock pushed through your entrance, drawing a small gasp from you and a groan from JJ. Impatience almost won, but you had to move yourself slowly to be able to take him. Finally, your ass met his thighs and you dropped your head to his shoulder. Your breaths were shaky as you adjusted to the stretch of him fully inside you.

JJ’s hard cock twitched, his hands grabbing at your waist, your hips, your thighs—anything he could get his hands on to try and hold on and pull you close. You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold yourself in place. You took a moment to adjust, but the moment you did, you let him know.

“You can move,” you said softly into his ear.

You felt JJ’s entire body shiver at your words. You nearly smirked. His fingers pressed into your skin and he tried to control himself.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to want me,” JJ said, a thickness to his voice that you found incredibly hot.

You leaned back to meet his lustful gaze. You couldn’t resist teasing him given your position.

“I have a feeling I do.”

You raised yourself up a little and dropped back down, drawing a desperate sound from the blonde as you taunted him.

His tongue ran across his bottom lip, it was damn near mesmerizing. You ran out of time to look because his lips were surging toward yours, but you weren’t complaining.

JJ chuckled at the gasp you let out against his mouth when he forced you onto your back. You welcomed his weight on top of you, your hands running down his muscular chest, taking in every inch of skin you somehow resisted the urge to touch—truly touch—before.

He drew back his hips, leaving only the head inside, then slammed back forward. A moan escaped your lips, and that only spurred JJ on. He repeated the movements again and again. Slow at first, really letting you feel the drag of his thick cock inside of you. The pleasure was so agonizing, but you let him get his fill of teasing you back.

Sooner than later did his desire get the best of him, and you weren’t complaining when JJ picked up the pace. Your hands found his back, nails digging in just enough to make him stifle a moan. His lips found your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to your damp skin. You felt his teeth begin to press in more than once, but he resisted the urge to leave behind evidence.

A curious hand wandered up to JJ’s hair, your finger carding through the soft locks. At a sharp thrust, you gripped, and his hips stuttered.

JJ’s hips snapped repeatedly against yours, flooding your entire being with a pleasure you’d never experienced before. The feel of his cock moving inside of you stirred a need inside of you that you didn’t even know you had.

You were meant for each other, it was clear to you now.

JJ kept thrusting his hips, his lips returning back to yours, devouring you in a hungry kiss. He swallowed down your moans, never letting his lips part from yours for longer than a second as his hips curved into yours.

You were being pushed towards your edge fast. It was as if JJ already knew your body.

“I’m close,” you managed between kisses.

JJ groaned out something you didn’t understand, but you knew he heard you. A skilled hand snaked its way between your bodies to find your clit. Your thighs clenched around his waist as a gasp leapt from you.

Your whole body felt overheated, like you’d melt from the inside out. JJ’s cock moving inside of you paired with the weight of his body on top of yours and the needy way his lips sought after yours between breathless sounds worked together to draw you closer and closer to release. All of your senses were flooded by him and you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

JJ wasn’t any better off than you, you could tell with the way his hips slammed into yours and his ragged breathing that he was close.

“JJ…” you moaned out his name as the knot in your belly finally snapped. “Fuck!” you cursed in a whimper as your body tightened around him, not wanting to let him go as you rode out your orgasm.

His lips parted from yours so he could watch your face. Your eyes squeezed shut and your jaw dropped as you shook. You could feel his eyes never leaving your expression even as you were blinded to it.

Thrusts became rougher, more desperate as he chased his edge. The sound of skin against skin synced up with your heart pounding in your own ears. JJ was saying something but you couldn’t hear. Your nails dug into his back as he finally shoved his hips against yours and let go.

A shiver of pleasure ran down your spine as warmth flooded your insides. You held onto him tight as he jerked inside you, giving you everything he had.

You opened your eyes and the sight of pure ecstasy on his face made your body quiver. A moan tore from deep in his throat as he reacted. You licked your lips before pulling him down into a kiss. It was sloppy and tired and the best kiss you’d ever had.

After a long moment, JJ forced himself to part from you. He smiled to himself as he made some joke about not wanting to smother you, but you wouldn’t have minded. He grinned even wider when you said that.

In the aftermath, you forgot where you were. As you sat up, evidence of what had just transpired dripping between your thighs, you looked to JJ. Beside you he mirrored your position, sitting up, facing you. He looked just as wrecked as you were sure you looked, but it was beautiful.

All you could do was smile. So this is what being in love with JJ felt like. You could get used to it.

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, just an ask or reply to lmk 🫶

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[scaranation]

Hiii saw you had requests open and I wanted to offer some of my Scaramouche brain rot cuz man this guy makes me soft.

Scara being a touch-starved bean that when their s/o first held his face gently he legitimately just sobbed and couldn't stop himself from letting some tears out.

Scara then just not being able to function without their s/o giving him soft kisses on their forehead and being patient and loving towards him and looking like an angry wet cat whenever they are missing or off doing something where he can't follow like he'd like for too long.

Scara grumpily just kinda adopting a pillow of choice as their cuddle buddy for the time apart or if their s/o simply just doesn't live with him (yet). Maybe even stealing a sweatshirt to keep close or wear it if it fits. Just something to be comforted for the time being.

Just Scara getting pampered and loved and him just getting so overwhelmed with happy feels that he doesn't know what to do with himself.

(sorry for the long ask I just really like soft Scara he deserves to be cuddled :') do what you will with the brain rot I just wanted to share, love your work! Please don't overwork yourself! ^^)

THIS IS SO ADORABLE OMG I LITERALLY HAVE NOTHING TO ADD ITS PERFECT 😭 how do u think like this touch-starved scara is the cutest thing im actually squealing rnnn (sorry for the v late response i got busy ahahah)

༊*·˚ ��𝐀𝐘 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄?

Pairing: Scaramouche x GN!reader

Content: fluff, head cannons, slightly ooc but it’s clingy scara 🥺

The first time you held Scaramouche's face, you thought he hated it. His face contorted beneath your touch, and you retracted your hands - but his face followed them, his cheeks firmly pressing back into your palms.

You'd stare at him curiously as his eyes crinkled shut, mouth falling agape when tears began to slide down his cheeks. Cautiously, you’d thumb them away, feeling the smooth planes of his face crinkle as he squinted at you through his blurred vision. He was definitely embarrassed, but he couldn’t refuse your touch - it was a form of affection he’d never gotten to experience, and his sobs were almost ones of relief at finally finding someone who’d give him the love he craved.

Once he discovered the idea of physical affection, he couldn’t go without it. He liked to be touching you at all times, and would not-so-subtly sulk whenever you were too busy to give him those fluttering pecks on his face. Scaramouche would shyly put up a display of nonchalance as he pretended not to care, only finding himself somehow in your lap again. It was endearing, how touch starved he was - always craving your attention.

If you dared to go somewhere without him, he’d practically be pacing around during your absence, worrying and fuming at you for leaving him behind. Once you got back, you could’ve sworn he had his tail between his legs, invisible ears drooping as he reluctantly eased back into your embrace. Don’t get him wrong - he’s still mad, but he’s willing to forgive you for a kiss. He wouldn’t let you go for the next day at least, so don’t think about leaving him alone like that anytime soon!

When you were - much to Scaramouche’s ire - busy, he sought comfort through ways that didn’t involve clinging to you and hence risking you avoiding him for the rest of the day out of irritation. You were so tender and patient towards him, but all people had a limit. Scaramouche would sulk as he wallowed in self pity, holding himself close to one of your pillows. Sometimes, he’d take a nap on it, imagining that you were dreaming together - something about him resting his head where you’d rested yours was inherently comforting to him. If you caught him during those naps, he’d angrily leap up in embarrassment and scurry away. His heart would stutter as he fumbled on the spot when you went to search for him, holding him close again as you whispered reassurances into his ear.

“Don’t worry about it, Scara.”

“You’re laughing at me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are!”

That was your cue to peck his lips as he froze up, overwhelmed. The poor thing’s barely come to terms with you being his, and reciprocation of that touch he needed made his whole brain judder to a stop. He was so adorable like this, utterly at a loss for what to do. Slowly, he’d kiss you back, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you close.

Scaramouche would steal any sweaters you made the mistake of leaving unattended - that woolly jumper you left on the couch? It’s gone the next day, added to your lover’s private collection. He’d return them after a while if your scent had faded, acting as though he wasn’t the culprit behind all your missing items of clothing.

At night, Scaramouche wouldn’t be able to sleep without you at his side. Even in the almost unbearable heat of summer, he’d have you entangled in his arms in an unrelenting grip. If you tried to wriggle away, he’d only whine in annoyance and clutch you closer, wriggling to position his face in your neck. Getting up to fetch a glass of water wasn’t an option, either - the vice grip he had on your wrist was enough of a warning. Even if you managed to escape that, you’d find him beside you at the kitchen in an instant. He’d groggily tug at your wrist to lead you back to bed, irritated at the interruption. Why did you need anything else, when you had him? He’d let out a sleepy huff, settling back down on the mattress with you (rightfully) returned to where you should be - next to him.

Although he might act shrewd, Scaramouche loses all rationality when it comes to you. If you’re not in his arms, you’re on his mind, and he wasn’t intending to let you go. Despite this, he’s still so easily flustered - although thankfully, he no longer defaults to crying whenever he’s overwhelmed with happiness. He’d be willing to begrudgingly share all his vulnerabilities with you, slowly opening up. Don’t tease him about it, though - he’s still prone to hissing at you, but he can’t really get mad at you.

After all, you’re the only one who can make him feel this loved.

[reareaotaku]

oh my god, prt 2 of School Girls????? You can't leave me liek that

OOH??? Of course! Man, wow

Part 1: School Girls | Pt 3: Made into a Woman

Summary: You've been staying out of Miles' way, to avoid anymore of his treatments, but it only makes him seek you out more Pairings: Bully! Yandere! Miles Fairchild x Fem!Reader TW: Bullying, Harassment Taglist: @tomhockstetter7-111 [Might make a part 3 that goes more into the NSFW part. If I do do a part 3, it will pretty much immediately go into NSFW territory]

You hated him. If there was a hell, he'll surely rot there when he finally croaks. Speaking of the devil, you could feel his glare from across the courtyard. When you looked up from your notebook, you could see him staring at you- Well, staring might not be the right word. He had a strange look on his face- One that was so disconnected from the real world.

You had figured he targeted you because you didn't have any friends, but he didn't either, because of his 'anger issues'.

You stood up from your spot and wiped your skirt. You looked back at him just to see if he was still watching you; He was. You turned away from him and headed inside. You couldn't stand his stare anymore, you needed to get away and you knew the perfect place; The roof.

The janitor had left an extra key in his storage room and you had found it when being locked in there by Miles for something stupid. You were mad at first, but when finding the key, you realized this was the best thing to happen, since he couldn't go there.

You rushed up the stairwell-the same one Miles had cornered you in that one time- and quickly unlocked the roof door. When it clicked open, you slammed it shut and locked it again before smirking to yourself. There was a small part of you that wished you could see his face when realizing he couldn't get to/find you.

You went to the side of the exit, leaning on the wall. If someone would enter the roof, you'd be able to see them before they see you. You moved your bookbag to your feet and grabbed a book '1989' by George Orwell.

You hated the book. The main character, Winston, reminded you of Miles in the way he acts- Though the book wasn't necessarily about how terrible Winston was but more about absolute Government control.

But that's unimportant. You were alone now and you could read the book for your English class. It was strangely peaceful; If you didn't have the book, you'd probably take a nap up here or something. It was nice... for the first time in a long time.

---

Miles' nose scrunched up as he scoped the courtyard. His little attraction had disappeared half an hour ago and he wasn't able to find her and it was starting to piss him off. Then a thought occurred to him... What if she was on the roof?

He had overheard the headmaster and janitor talking about a missing key to the roof. The key the janitor kept in his closet- the same one Miles had locked her in. But, if she was on the roof, there was no way for him to get up there, because it was padlocked; Hence the need for key.

He could tell the headmaster, but that could lead to two things; The headmaster not believing him or Y/n getting suspended. The last thing he wanted was her to be kicked out of school for a week, hell he couldn't even stand 30 minutes of her being gone.

But he needed to get up there. He needed to let her know that she couldn't escape him. That he was always watching... always there. But as of now she probably thought she was safe and the thought made Miles' face scrunch up into a heavy glare.

---

The sun was starting to fall and curfew was coming, so you knew you had to go back to your dorm. Thankfully you had finished the book, but just had a few more annotations to write. Though, you could just come back tomorrow and finish it.

You stand up and wipe your outfit, before pulling the key out of your pocket. You sigh, feeling relaxed, before turning the handle and slowly closing the door behind you. Though your happiness was short lived.

"I didn't know you were such a troublemaker, Y/n."

You could feel your stomach drop and your body froze when hearing the voice.

"What? Can't turn around and face me?"

You were hoping if you didn't move, maybe he'd go away? You held your breath, hoping it was dark enough that he couldn't see you.

"You have nothing to say?"

You turned your head slightly, "What is there to say?"

"Oh, so she does speak? I was worried for second."

You chuckle. "No, you weren't."

"What makes you think that?"

You turn around towards him. You could barely make out his face, but his eyes bored into yours. Dark and cold just like him. It's like he could see every secret that you hid. You could see his silhouette just fine and you were sure he could see yours.

"If you weren't such a bitch, you'd be a beautiful girl."

"If you weren't evil, you'd be an attractive man."

He frowned at your words, causing you to smirk. You could see the frustration on his face. He pulled your hair back behind your ear, before caressing your face. It was strange for him to be so gentle. You didn't like it.

You grabbed his wrist and pulled him off. "It's past curfew."

"Yeah... It is."

---

Your bed felt hard under your body. It was like it had never been used. It was strange. You felt as if you didn't belong. Maybe it was because you didn't. Because you weren't in your bed- Hell you weren't even in your room. You were in his. Though why? You felt the bed dip and looked towards the man of the hour. Why were you here and what was going on?

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Fury for the Living (1) | Yandere Ghost Detective

Cypher is a prodigy detective 

Officially on the police force now he’s been a raging force for unraveling piles of cold cases across the country

He was truly a talented man

Alas aspiring detectives and veterans in the field can only speculate what gives him such amazing insight in every case

They’d never guess what the ace up his sleeve is 

One of the sole factors other than his prodigious charm that made him the amazing detective he was

He could see ghosts

Apparitions, yokais, curses—you name it

Thanks to their undead input Cypher’s been able to piece together a case with nothing but a single clue

It’s his thing

It didn’t matter if he wasn’t exactly moved by justice

Or that he often hated that he had to speak with ghosts often

There was nowhere he could really go that didn’t have ghosts and the undead chatting and whining in his ear

Except for one place

An abandoned and rotted mansion in a restricted area in the forest

Or it was 

Until he found you

“Hm, I didn’t know anyone was still coming here.”

He outwardly groaned, facepalming as he prepared for your desperate plea to be help with their ‘unfinished business’

But you didn’t 

You smiled at him before skipping back up the stairs and through the wall

For a while, he’s just glad you didn’t bother him longer going back to reading his book

But then he’s pulling at his hair as the feeling he’s been ignoring hits him full force

“So what happened to you?”

“Huh?”

“Tch, look I’ve been comin’ here every day and you never say a word. I’m tired of you being polite. Just tell me already.”

“I…actually don’t know…”

“What.” 

“I just remember waking up and being….free. I don’t remember much else.”

It isn’t odd that the undead don’t remember

But not caring about it is another

For once he’s intrigued, so after a while he pries a first name out of you 

Then he begins his search 

Finding all the records about your life or death is completely scrubbed

“I don’t know that’s awfully weird ain't it?”

Similar to him, the prodigy police chief has no idea as well

Thus a weird bud of excitement blooms 

“I’m going to solve your case!”

“Uh okay, if that makes you happy.”

So he visits so much more often 

Having to talk to you about your past 

A past you don’t remember

So he elects to bring whatever he thinks might interest you

Along with taking note of what’s in the dilapidated manor

Rotten books, old gaming systems, some form of music, paints and pens

He gets to know you pretty well

“I think Cypher if I were alive again, I’d love to spend time with you.”

“...Really?”

“Yeah, you’re a real good friend.”

You have no idea what you do to him

He thought this newfound investigation would consume his mind like all good detectives had

But instead, he was thinking of you

Standing and walking beside him like you weren’t a ghost

Cutely tilting your head when he makes a joke you don’t understand

It sends blood rushing in places it hadn’t when he found out you could touch him

Casually tapping on his exposed shoulder to reveal a secret passageway

He used to complain to himself about how far he’d have to walk to get to his little place of paradise

But now he was complaining when the station was calling him in

“Hey (Y/n)...have you ever tried leaving the manor?”

“Mmm no.”

“Why not?”

“Never a reason to.”

“Then let’s try something new.”

He’s ecstatic when you can follow him into his car and eventually his apartment

But then he’s reminded of all the annoying nuisances that he was trying to avoid

��Hey everyone! Cypher’s all pooped out maybe we can give him a break?”

As if you were an exorcist all those ghosts seemed to understand 

Letting you organize them in the room over while Cypher locks himself into the bedroom

“You’re….amazing.”

“Oh thank you? I think you’re amazing too Cypher.”

“I don’t think you understand (Y/n)...I desperately want to marry you.”

“But Cypher you know I’m dead, right?”

“I can easily change that to be with you.”

“Cypher don’t!” 

Now he’s got to fight himself about solving this case

If he gets to the bottom of your death, he’d lose you

So he might stall a bit 

At least until he finds a small bit of evidence pointing to your death from a murder

“You were…murdered?!”

“Was I? That sucks.”

You’re right it sucks

And now Cypher’s motivated with one thing

Revenge

How dare some dirtbag kill you before he got to meet you?!

Put you in any amount of pain when you so easily are the light of his?! 

He vows that whosever is the cause of your death will pay greatly 

And he’s willing to put everything on the line to solve your case

I think I smell a series coming out of this 🖤🖤🖤🖤

[munsons-hellfire]

How Did It End? | Lucien Vanserra

SUMMARY: He chose Elain over you, but your mates are there to help rebuild what he broke when the relationship ended.

PAIRINGS: Poly!Feysand x Reader, Lucien Vanserra x Reader (Past), Lucien Vanserra x Elain Archeron

CONTENT WARNING: SFW, heartbreak, poly!feysand, angst, fluff, happy ending

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Inspired by How Did It End? by Taylor Swift. This song is one of my favorites of TTPD: The Anthology. When I was listening to this on repeat, it just got me thinking about characters from ACOTAR, and I just thought this best fit Lucien. I hope you enjoy this!

WORD COUNT: 2.0K

Lucien Vanserra was many things, that much you knew. Before Elain had come into your lives you’d spent such a long time with him. He made you believe things that you didn’t think you’d ever had. When he finally found his mate, the last thing you expected was to hear him say he chose her. You should’ve known this day would come.

He kept you in the Spring Court even when it was falling down. And when the war was over he kept you hidden from your friend. He kept you hidden away from Feyre. You rotted away in the Human land while your lover worked tirelessly to win his mate over. You guessed that he had done so. He stood in front of you, years after winning the war.

He looked so different from the last memory you had off him. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d kissed him, the last time he held you in his warm embrace. There were so many last memories that you just couldn’t remember when they had happened. Elain was in the room, her sister and brother in law also with them.

“Oh.” Was all you could muster up, the word breaking as it fell from your lips. That single word didn’t so much as affect the male, or his mate. But you could see the pain Feyre and Rhysand held on their faces and it confused you. “When did you work it out?” You went on to ask. Lucien stepped forward, but you stepped back. You were in a home that Lucien had found for you and you knew that he’d most likely take it away from you.

“We accepted the bond a few months ago.” Elain’s voice was soft, and you understood why Lucien had fallen madly in love with her and wanted to work it out. You shook your head not understanding why they would wait so long to tell you this important information.

“I see.” You turned around and grabbed your go bag.

Even before Lucien had shown up with the others in tow you had planned to leave. But now you have more incentive to do so.

“Where are you going?” Lucien questioned, finally he spoke.

“I’m leaving.” You looked back at the male you thought would choose you over his mate, but you were wrong, so wrong. “I don’t know when what we had ended or how it ended. But I do know when I’m not wanted anymore. I should’ve left when you said you wanted to pursue another female that is your mate. I’m not her, I never will be. So I’m making this easy for you Lucien.” You walked over to the door barely glancing at Rhysand or Feyre. “You can keep the house.”

You stepped out of the house and walked over to the horse that was waiting on the side. Climbing on you took off just as the four ran out of the home trying to call your name. You ignored them all. You needed time to process the news you already knew was true. Years with him had been wasted, they were nothing. You were nothing to him but trash to toss aside.

Tears slipped down your face blurring your vision. But it didn’t give you a reason for you to stop. You continued on until you were finally back in Prythian. You’d ride until you could make it out of the Spring Court, hopefully you could avoid Tamlin’s guards. Though it was nice to see that he had finally been able to rebuild his Court. You didn’t make it far into the Spring Court when said guards appeared surrounding you and stopping your horse in its tracks.

You released a defeated sigh, held your hands in the air and dropped your head. There was no fight left in you, not right now at least. The guards dragged you deeper into the Spring court until you were face to face with Tamlin himself, though he wasn’t alone. A female stood by his side, you didn’t know who she was.

“High Lord.” You whispered, bowing your head to him. You were afraid of what he might do considering what he’d done in the past.

“I heard what happened. I’ve alerted Feyre and Rhysand of your arrival in my Court.” Tamlin’s voice ran through your ears and that was the last thing you’d expected him to speak to you.

“W-What? Why?” You were confused, so utterly confused. The female stepped forward, a soft smile on her face.

“Your mates are worried about you. You left in such a hurry they didn’t have a chance to get to you.” She answered. Now you were even more confused.

“My love, I don’t think Y/N knows that they’re mates.” Tamlin’s green eyes were on the female you assumed was his mate or maybe his lover.

“Rhysand and Feyre aren’t my mates. It’s not possible. I can’t have more than one mate.”

You were still processing the new information when Rhys and Feyre winnowed into the room. They were here with you in the Spring court. Both High Lord and Lady kneeled in front of you. Each reaching out with one hand to caress your cheeks.

“It is possible. It’s rare, but a mated pair of three, or a triad is very possible.” The female said.

“My mate, Luna, she’s spent most of her life researching mates and how bonds truly work between the Fae. She was the first one to notice that Rhys and Feyre were missing another part of themselves.” Tamlin spoke, Luna, the female you now knew to her be, gave a nod of approval to her mate’s words.

“When?” You asked.

“We truly didn’t know until Luna talked to us.” Rhysand whispered, keeping his violet eyes gazing into your eyes. He was searching for something in them, maybe searching to see if you’d run away again.

“But you have a family.” You just wanted to call it quits, you wanted whatever pain you were feeling to just be over.

“Yes, we have a family but it never felt complete. And now we know why.” Feyre said.

“Why?” Your lips trembled, afraid of the words that either might say. Too much had happened today, it was exhausting.

“Because you weren’t in it, you weren’t a part of the little family we have. Lucien kept you hidden from us. He thought Elain would truly reject the bond and he’d come back to you. We’d spent so long trying to figure out what was missing. And when he mentioned going back to you, we felt a tug but we didn’t understand any of it.”

“Why now?”

“Because you deserve to be happy too. Lucien knew that you’d run, we asked Tamlin to keep an eye out for you. We had to talk to you, to tell you what truth we had learned.”

“I can’t. I can’t.” You cried out. You stood up and backed away from them. “It’s not possible, this…” You cut yourself of staring at Rhysand and Feyre. They were hiding the hurt, but you could feel their pain. That was new, so new and it was overwhelming. “I just want to lie down.” As you said the words you felt your legs give out beneath you. However Rhysand was clutching onto you before you hit the grass.

“Let’s go back to the Night Court. You need some rest and time to heal before we discuss this.” Feyre whispered to you. You nodded, your hand gripping onto Rhysand’s arm tightly. Almost afraid that he’d disappear. He picked you up from the ground, your head rested on his chest. Feyre nodded her head and he disappeared.

“Thank you.” Feyre whispered to Tamlin and Luna. Tamlin gave a nod of his head while Luna stepped away from him and walked closer to Feyre.

“Y/N, will need both of you. This is going to be a lot.” Luna said.

“I know. Rhys and I will do everything to make sure that Y/N is comfortable with this. It’s going to take time, I know that much is true.” Luna smiled in understanding. Then Feyre said her goodbyes winnowing back to the night court.

───── ☾☾☾ ─────

Months had passed and you were still in the same state you’d been in since Rhys and Feyre had brought you home. They were worried about you now more than ever, not sure how to fix what Lucien had broken. You knew the bond had snapped for you but you will still try to process everything. Trying to process the fact that not only did you have one mate but you had two mates. They were High Lord and Lady and they had a son together. You didn’t understand how you could fit into their family when they had such a perfect family already.

Nyx had helped when they’d bring him in to visit you. You already had a bond with the child and sometimes it was hard to put Nyx down to sleep because he’d cry for you to be the one to put him down for a nap. But you were still so scared that you’d mess it all up, that you’d be abandoned again. Just like your parents had abandoned you, and just like Lucien had abandoned you.

You were so lost in your thoughts, stuck in your mind that never seemed to go to sleep when you needed it to, to hear the door of your room open and close. Rhys and Feyre thought it was best for you to have your own room until you were ready to take the next step. The relationship between the three of you was on your terms. A sob left your lips feeling the bed dip down on both sides. Feyre lied down in front of you while you hugged your blanket tightly. Rhys pressed his body against your back.

“We’re here for you Y/N.” Feyre whispered, a sad expression etching onto her face.

“I know.” You whispered, closing your eyes. Rhys and Feyre had been trying to get into your mind since you’d come home with them, but your shields were strong. You also weren’t letting them get into your mind, not yet anyway.

“It’ll be okay, love.” Rhys whispered into your ear.

“I just don’t understand how it ended, I mean I understand it. But there were never any signs, I never saw it coming.” You whispered, letting your tightening grip on the blanket loose. Feyre finally closed the gap between you and her, Rhys lifted a wing and covered himself, you, and Feyre with it in protection.

“Sometimes the relationships we thought were meant for just end without any signs. Sometimes there are better things out there for us.” Rhys said while Feyre nodded in agreement.

“Will it ever get better?” Rhys kept his gaze on both of his mates, though his eyes lingered on Feyre for a brief moment.

“Eventually, it will. All you can do is take it one step at a time. Rhys and I will be here through that process. When you're ready to accept the bond we’ll accept it. If you’re not ready then we’ll wait until you are.” Feyre paused, her eyes found yours and she could see the shock that was on your face. “You are worth every moment, worth every shared memory, worth waiting for.” Another sob escaped your lips.

“I don’t want to be abandoned again.” The fear of what had truly happened to you finally left your mouth. Feyre and Rhys wrapped their arms around you and huddled closer.

“You will never be abandoned, not by us. Not ever.” Rhysand said sternly.

“Promise?” You switched your gaze from Feyre to Rhys waiting for them to take back what they’d both said.

“We promise. You’re our mate, and we are yours. We’re in this together until the end of time. Until the Mother decides that our time is truly at an end.”

You gave a soft smile, though your lips were trembling and tears were slipping free. It was going to be a long journey but you knew you’d be able to come to terms with the past and move on for a better, happier future. And with Rhys and Feyre by your side it didn’t seem so scary anymore.

[zeyris-daydreams]

Serendipiter - yandere!aventurine x reader

Someone who deliberately orchestrates events to appear serendipitous to others.

- Example: The serendipiter always stayed two steps ahead, creating 'happy accidents.'

a/n: thoughts of aventurine bending fate regardless of his luck rotted me today…

———————

To be or not to be? Well, Aventurine begged to differ. To bet, or not to bet? That was a question he was actually willing to ask, one he was also willing to answer. To be sure of your choices you had to make them first. Then own up to them, no matter the outcome.

That is what he expected you to do.

Your surroundings were the least important thing here. You sat in a VIP room of Penacony’s grand hotel, at a round table. In front of you was the IPC’s gambler. Aventurine, the cornerstone.

“Come now, we don’t have all the time in the world” The blond looked at you from behind the cards he held, their backs turned to you. He reclined in his red seat, almost lazy and casual. “Any of these, it’s not that hard.”

You held your hands on your lap, scrunching the material of your uniform. That’s right. Your teeth were grit together, and you bit the inside of your cheek. This choice wasn’t hard, all you had to do was draw a card out of the seven presented to you. Any of them.

Yet, knowing Aventurine’s luck, you knew your chances were nearly zero from the get go. Your wrist ached in protest as you reached out to the cards, uncertain. Your fingers shook, and you couldn’t still them.

”The odds are in your favour, why the hesitation?” He leaned forward, resting his chin against his hand, elbow on the dark table. He donned a sly smirk, a knowing one. Your cards have been dealt before you even made a choice, but there was no backing away from it anymore. You had to own up to it.

All you had to do was pick a card. Pick a card that he hasn’t picked, one out of seven. That should make your chances increase significantly, but within all the gambles you faced against Aventurine, you haven’t won once.

You didn’t want to test your luck. You didn’t want to know the coming failure. Sometimes it was better to avoid the elephant in the room, but you did it too long. The comfort of the luxurious seat helped nothing. It only caused you to tense more. You remained silent. One out of the seven.

One.

Aventurine raised his brow, pulling his sunglasses up to his hair from their previous position on his nose. “I could help you pick, then. Maybe the left side.” His grin returned, one too elated during this situation.

Was he conning you? Your freedom was at stake, your chances of getting out of this were at a risk. To live is to take chances. Left side. Left.

You frowned. If he suggested such a side, it must mean that he expected you to pick otherwise. Did he? If you picked right, would you play into his ploy? Did he expect you to pick left to spite him? Maybe Aventurine was attempting to trick you, were you to think you went against his wishes, you’d choose left, precisely because of your suspicion. What was correct?

Sweat collected at the edges of your forehead, stopping shy of your brows. You felt hot and cold at the same time, palms sweaty despite how cold they were. Yet you couldn’t muster a word from how deep in contemplation you were. You couldn’t tell what choice would be playing into his plan, what choice would jeopardise it.

But you had to say something. “I need to think.”

Aventurine hummed, watching your hand rest on the table. His own moved over, so close to covering your own. Instinctively you pulled your arm back, resting your palm back on your lap. “I don’t think there’s anything to think about. I mean, all you need to do is pick a card, right?”

He wasn’t wrong per se. There was nothing to think about besides the mind games you assumed he was playing. The cards were unmarked, there was nothing to analyse. You bit at your bottom lip, sure you’d tear through the skin.

Perhaps this was merely aimed at prolonging your doom. You couldn’t lose if you chose inaction. You wouldn’t face it if you chose ignorance. But he knew what you were up to, and so he idly looked at his watch.

”I’ve got a meeting coming up in fifteen, decide quickly, yeah?”

The nonchalance he said this with made you feel irritation simmer back to the surface. Here you were, at risk of losing your freedom, and he treated it like it was nothing. To Aventurine this was nothing impressive.

He learned to risk his life like it was nothing. Your situation was nothing impressive.

Yet you hesitated. He took everything away from you already, freedom was nothing comparable to this. Aventurine knew freedom was nothing. Even ones ‘free’ suffered, and sometimes ones chained lived better lives. Perhaps it was cruel to say it out loud though. ”Honey, you gambled with me willingly for so long. How is this any different?”

He wasn’t wrong, but this wasn’t entirely true either. You gambled for a chance to lessen the debt placed upon you, one you never realised you had. One you never asked for, never expected.

Foolishly you used the luxuries available to you, taking them for granted. Blissfully unaware that each of them was counted as debt to your name. It was all too easy for the gambler to arrange it. You were too trusting, too naive.

If someone found a gem like you before him, an unpolished crystal, they’d shape you to their own liking. Aventurine didn’t like the idea. If anything, he had to encase you first. And so he did, and you didn’t know.

Before you realised, the goods within your hotel room were all IPC property. It was unfair to you, maybe, but Aventurine never claimed to play fair. He never claimed to even out the odds for everyone, he never said he believed in justice.

This was the last gamble. You’d leave debt free, with the things you previously gambled away. Or you’d be his.

Your throat felt tight and you wished you didn’t need to breathe in. You made your choice suddenly, jerking your hand to grab the card you deemed fit. The one you decided to be your pass to freedom, in accordance to the mind game you assumed he played.

It didn’t matter however. Pick right or left, the outcome would be the same. Were you just this unlucky, or was he just too lucky? Maybe you were the balance to his neverending fortune.

After countless gambles to win back your money or lessen the debt, you knew you wouldn’t win. Nothing mattered.

As you laid the card on the table, you looked at an ace. The ace Aventurine showed you while shuffling the seven cards. But it was the outcome he already saw before you even considered your possibilities.

”My, my. Would you look at it?” he picked the card with his thumb and index finger, turning it over in his fingers. “Out of six to choose this one, you must be tremendously disadvantaged” He grinned, white and pearly teeth shining due to the light above both of you.

You expected this, but the blood from your face drained anyway, your stomach twisting as though it wanted to rid itself of the food you had to eat earlier. One you never asked for, but as Aventurine said, you should accept things that are given your way.

To bet, or not to bet. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was to take accountability for your choice. Or at least attempt to.

Because as you processed your current doom, Aventurine pressed all the cards into a stack, shoving it within his pockets. All of the cards were aces, and he wasn’t going to let a chance ruin it. Ultimately, he was lucky. But he wouldn’t leave it up to fate to give you to him.

Aventurine, in his career, learned that the only way to achieve things was to seize them with his hand.

[loupy-mongoose]

I wish my art motivation and my "want-to-move-the-story-along" motivation would get along, lol.

There's so much I rather would've drawn for this, but my brain is still in the Hisui rot. So, I'll have to make due.

Speech guide:

Randy's speech Jamie's speech (Pokespeak in parentheses) ~~Telepathy is in... these things... Whatever they're called. XD~~

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~~~~~~

The group spread out among the foliage, keeping their eyes keen and calling out Midas' name.

As they searched, Akoya sent her husband a private vent.

~~Rrrrrrrrrgggghhh! ~~ ~~Why'd she have to come with us?!~~ ~~We'll find him fine on our own, then get right back to her. She doesn't need to babysit us! What threat do we pose anyway??~~

Randy struggled to suppress a sigh. ~~I know, Hon. But we really shouldn't do anything to upset her. We're on her turf right now, and she seems to be a high authority on it.~~

~~Huh. Well I'll be happy to be done with this and back home safely in Paldea.~~

~~I know. Believe me, I know. But let's just focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now we need to make our way to Midas without her figuring out we can feel him.~~

Randy felt a stab of regret from her direction, and glance at her to see her giving him a remorseful look.

~~...I'm sorry.~~

Randy struggled to hide shock from Jamie.

~~For what?~~

~~For being difficult...~~ ~~Thank you for being patient with me, and... all this...~~

Seeing that Jamie was searching facing away from them, he met his wife's eyes and gave her a warm smile.

~~Of course, Akoya!~~ ~~I look forward to having Midas back and getting a chance to really talk in private.~~

Akoya sighed lightly.

~~Me too...~~

Midaaaas!

The pink-and-blue Mew perked up his ears, his tear-stained eyes opening wide.

(Mamah?)

His companion, a fluffy pink and russet Mew, also looked toward the calling voice. A purr was rattling from her in an attempt to calm the poor child she'd come across and curled around reassuringly.

Suddenly the young Mew bolted, startling his companion into silence.

(MAMAH!)

Midas slammed into his mother's chest. His voice came out as a whimper.

(Mamah...)

After a brief shock, Akoya smiled and hugged the little Mew close under her chin, and her eyes welled with tears. Midas... Oh thank Arceus...

Midas' fluffy companion flew up and nuzzled Jamie's head. Before Randy could comment on her, the girl gave her a startled look, but quickly recomposed herself.

(Hey, Jamie! Good to see you!)

It's good to see you too! But... a little surprising. Randy caught the quickest dart of her eyes in their direction. Clearly she was implying something, but what that was, he had no idea.

The stranger Mew smiled at the three newcomers. There was an... odd gleam in her eyes, but she turned back to Jamie, not giving any chance to ponder it.

Randy and Akoya exchanged glances. There was no avoiding it this time. She'd caught them all red-handed.

The man sighed. Yes, we all understand it.

Akoya's face turned serious, although she couldn't hide the shock she'd received. How did you know?

Educated guess. You reacted when Clover mentioned the bag. The red-haired girl met Akoya's eyes, but she appeared neutral, rather than hostile. Randy noticed that that subtle curiosity had returned.

Beside him, he saw his wife shudder. ...I don't like how sharp you are...

Much to Randy's surprise, Jamie gave a regretful smile. Force of habit. She took a snappy breath, as if to recenter herself, and straightened her postured. Shall we move on to the house?

The three Lindens looked at each other and nodded, and they set off again. But before they went far, Jamie turned to look at Akoya once more.

...So, did Midas call you "Mama"?

Feeling a wave of exasperation from Akoya, Randy answered for her, desperate to escape this weird dance of secrets they'd ended up in. We'll explain later. Can we just get somewhere where we can breathe?

The group continued on as the sun began to sink. Jamie's fluffy Mew buddy, Pari, floated leisurely around them, sometimes humming happily, sometimes picking up a chat with Jamie. Sometimes they would pass folks on the road, and Pari would wave cheerfully or let them pet her as she purred.

Randy realized then what Jamie had meant about this being a safe place for Midas to be lost at. Clearly the locals were used to having a Mew around--or two, if Jovie was as friendly and close to the people as Pari. Some Pokemon that roamed close by would come greet Jamie warmly, happy to see her back after her time away. And Randy caught glimpses of a deep, genuine smile on her face as she talked with them

He sighed, wishing things could be straight-forward, and hoped the two parties could soon find a comfortable middle ground.

He felt a gentle hand take his own, and looked over at his wife, unable to resist a soft smile as he met her eyes. Her other arm was tucked into her jacket to support Midas, who had refused to go back into the bag and was now hidden in there. Randy had taken possession of the bag.

He looked to his other side at Lav, who seemed as drained as he was. She'd been very quiet since they arrived, and he longed to pick her brain. But now wasn't the time. He felt a pang of guilt that she'd been so sidelined by all this.

He placed his hand on her far shoulder, looking for a cue that a hug would be okay. She turned up to him with tired eyes, giving a half-hearted smile and leaning into him. He tightened his grip around her.

As they walked, seeing their escort and new Mew companion at ease with the residents, his children safe in their arms and his wife and best friend by his side... he felt a deep peace settle in him.

Once they could get all the secrets and misunderstandings out of the way...

It wouldn't be so bad here.

~~~~~~

PREVIOUS NEXT

[orimuraa]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 𝑬𝒏𝒉𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝑶𝑻𝟕 𝒍𝒊𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒚 ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝒑𝒍𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊 𝒂𝒎 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒍𝒔 𝒊 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒔 𝒊 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎. 𝒑𝒍𝒔 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒍𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍-𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝒑𝒍𝒔 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕, 𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆, 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒎 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒐𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓.

𝐎𝐓𝟕

i think i’ll fall in love with you ~ things that makes enhypen fall even more in love with you - flufffff

oh baby i just really love you ~ when your sick, the only person who can aid you back to full health is your lovely boyfriend - sickfic, fluff, crack

so sweet like bubblegum ~ when you are enhypen’s tutor but they end up falling in love with you - fluff, tutor to lovers

dear. my darling ~ it was so painful for enhypen not to miss you - heavy angst, death

when you’re not here 911 calling ~ when enhypen is clingy - fluff, crack

gotta make that money make purse ~ when enhypen loves spoiling their girlfriend - fluff, rich enha

i'm gonna cherish you ~ cuddles with enhypen - tooth rotting fluff, cuddles

criminal love ~ secret love with enhypen - fluff, secret relationships

i brought the heat back ~ how enhypen is when they're jealous - fluff, angst if you squint

a girl who likes a long chat ~ what your first date with enhypen would be like - fluffff, first dates

happy birthday to you, for you ~ celebrating your birthday with enhypen - flufff, crack

would you kiss me? mwah! ~ kissing enhypen with lip gloss on - fluffff

i see it, i like it, i want it, i got it ~ stealing enhypen’s clothes - fluff, crack

you got me looking for attention ~ enhypen falling in love with you at the game caterers picnic - flufff

i’m super shy ~ enhypen with a shy gf - flufffff

cookin like a chef i'm a foive star michelin ~ enhypen teaching you their favorite things - fluff

i like the view right now ~ enhypen when you’re shorter than them - fluff, crack

this that pretty girl mantra ~ enhypen’s reaction to your group performing at a music show for the first time - fluff

just stay with me ~ enhypen when you're on your period - fluff, crack

i just can't sat good night ~ enhypen when you fall asleep waiting for them - fluff

that old fashioned love ~ special dates with enhypen - fluff

the perfect pair ~ enhypen as your soulmate - fluff, soulmate au

don't you want me like i want you baby? ~ roommate enha when you have a crush on their friend - fluff, crack

cause i know you'll save me ~ enhypen when you're injured - fluff, crack

cause i'd do anything to feel your touch ~ pda with enhypen - fluffff

sorry, i love you ~ enhypen after an argument - angst, fluff

tis the season to be jolly ~ holiday texts with enhypen - fluff, crack, smau

𝑯𝒀𝑼𝑵𝑮 𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬

come meet me at seven, and stay 'til eleven ~ hyung line meeting your parents for the first time - fluff

stuck by the glue ~ hyung line when you avoid their kisses - fluff, crack

𝑴���𝑲𝑵𝑨𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑬

coming soon…

[just-some-trans-nobody]

December Christmas Monster stories

December 13.) Half giant x GN reader

Warnings: depression, hating job, job quitting, size difference

Minors Don't Interact!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Working as one of Santa's elf was a seasonal job, the pay was shit but it was fun. Pretty much volunteer work. There was a bonus though. It came in the form of the man playing Santa named Treg. 

He was a half giant and standing next to him in your work uniform you really did look like a Christmas elf. Treg was kind to everyone, always smiling. You couldn't help but be drawn to him. It helped that you were one of his main elfs. Every shift he had you worked too. Always right next to him helping him with the kids or getting him water. Any time he had to get up and walk somewhere you were with him to make sure he didn't bump into any kids. It was hard seeing kids when you were that big. Treg was always so happy when you helped him out. Constantly thanking you for every little thing you did for him. 

Treg often would make you a cup of hot chocolate during your shared break. It always tasted better when he made it. The two of you would always chat the whole break before going back to going to work. 

The work gossip was that both of you were dating in secret. Though any time the two of you were confronted Treg vehemently denied it. You did so too, just less convincing than him. One of your coworkers noticed this and asked you in private if you wished you were dating him. You frowned as you nodded your head. They gave you a look of pity before walking away. 

They must have said something to Treg because after that day he started avoiding you. It hurt badly when suddenly your schedule changed from his. You had been replaced by another worker who preferred to pose for the photos and flirt with all the parents instead of helping Treg. Not that you could do anything about it, you were assigned to a different Santa. He was a satyr who didn't care about his job, he worked the dead shift hardly anyone came around when he worked and he liked it that way.

Your fun job became miserable in less than a week all because you couldn't get a handle on your dumb one sided crush. You didn't smile at work anymore, what was the point?

Before the end of the second week you had turned in your uniform and quit. You went home and cried that night. The next day you went out to the store to go get comfort food. Walking around the store you filled your cart with tooth rotting snacks. Your heart hurt so you wanted your stomach to hurt more to take your mind away from it. 

Walking around absentmindedly you didn't pay attention to anything until you heard heavy footsteps. Looking up you saw Treg approaching you. You had the urge to run away from him but found yourself frozen in place. “Y/n? I heard you quit? Why did you do that?” His voice sounded heart broken. Why did he sound heart broken? Treg was the one who rejected and ignored you, not the other way around. 

“What does it matter to you? You made it clear you didn't like me when you started ignoring me.” You snorted, turning your head to look anywhere but at him. “I only started distancing myself because I realized I liked you too and that scared me. I'm constantly scared that I'm not going to know your next to me and I'll accidently hurt you.” Treg explained stepping closer to you. “Didn't every day we worked together prove I could handle that? You never hurt me before, why worry about that now?” You asked, glancing at him. “Because the thought of being with you meant a higher chance of hurting you but when you were gone it hurt even worse.” His eyes were starting to water as he talked. 

How could you be upset at that face? Looking down at your feet you stepped forward reaching your hand out to hold his sleeve. “I'd take that risk to be with you.” You told him, looking up at him. “For you? I'd risk anything.” Treg said carefully, holding your hand in his large one. You looked like a doll compared to him, you kind of liked it. 

[spring-siblings]

"You hate yourself. I hate myself. Common interests."

For @thehistoricalbook for @narlieweek Osemanverse Secret Santa. Happy holidays! Hope you enjoy!

Ace of Hearts | A Solitaire fanfic

I immediately regret opening the text.

Michael: wanna go to the cinema on monday?

It is ridiculous that such a seemingly innocuous question could get me so worked up, for reasons I don't really want to delve into.  

Monday is Valentine’s Day.  

Ordinarily, this fact would be inconsequential to me.  Ordinarily, I would not consider having plans on Valentine’s Day.  Ordinarily, I would not have anyone to make plans with.  I would sit in my room, and start watching a film, and drink diet lemonade, and not think too much about what day it was.

But lately things have not been ordinary.

Last week, standing on the roof of Higgs as it burned, Michael and I kissed.  We haven’t really discussed what that means.  Maybe we should have.  Maybe if we had, Michael wouldn’t be asking me out on Valentine’s Day.

I’ve never been asked out on Valentine’s Day before.  I’ve never been asked out, period.  I’ve never been in anything remotely in the realm of a romantic relationship before.  I’m not even sure if I want a boyfriend.  What does ‘having a boyfriend’ even mean?

Michael and I aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend.  At least I don’t think so.  No, we definitely aren’t, because that is the sort of thing you confirm before assuming, right?  

I stare at Michael’s text.

Maybe he isn’t really asking me out.  Maybe he just wants to hang out again like we have been doing.  Maybe he doesn’t even realize what day Monday is.  Maybe I’m freaking out for no reason.

I tap the text box.  The cursor blinks back at me while I consider what to reply. 

Tori: monday the 14th?

Michael: yeah

Shit.  So he does know.

Tori: why?

Michael: why not?

He is asking me out on Valentine’s Day because he thinks we are boyfriend and girlfriend when we definitely aren’t, and I am going to have to tell him that and ruin our relationship and never talk to him again.  Probably.  Possibly.  

My phone buzzes again.

Michael: you mentioned that your family all had plans, so I thought you might want to hang out

Mum and Dad have a dinner reservation, Charlie has plans with Nick, and even Oliver has a playdate.  Ordinarily, this would mean an evening to myself to rot in my room, which honestly isn’t any different than any other night.  But lately I’ve been trying to do things.  And doing things with Michael makes them less awful.

I debate whether or not I should go for ten minutes before Michael texts me again.

Michael: sooo do you want to?

I sigh.  The truth is that I really do want to spend the day with Michael.  Why can’t it be that simple?  Is it not enough that I just like being around him, without getting into what that means, or what label to put on our relationship?  I contemplate for another ten minutes before replying.

Tori: sure

It is going to be awful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On Monday evening, the doorbell rings, so I get up to answer it before Charlie does.  Mum and Dad and Oliver are thankfully out already, and I’ve been waiting in the living room for Michael’s arrival in the hope of avoiding any questions from Charlie.  It’s not that I want to hide anything from him, but I know he’s going to ask about Michael and whether we’re officially going out, and I don’t know what to tell him.  I don’t even know what the answer is.  So I should probably figure that out first.

I wrench open the door, and it’s not Michael on the other side, but Nick.  He’s carrying a bunch of red, heart-shaped balloons in one hand, and a teddy bear in the other.  The teddy bear is holding a handmade card with a picture of him and Charlie on the front.  The whole thing is covered in heart stickers.

“Oh,” he says, clearly expecting Charlie.  “Hi, Tori.”

“Hi.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence when he smiles that toothless, puppy-dog smile at me.  

“Charlie is in his room,” I tell him, and step aside to let him in.  

As he steps over the threshold, Charlie comes bounding down the stairs and launches himself at Nick.  Somehow Nick manages to catch him, despite his hands being full.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Nick says into Charlie’s shoulder.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Charlie returns before letting go and promptly getting tangled in the balloon strings.  He and Nick both giggle as they work to free him.

I leave them to it and return to my spot in the living room.  I can still hear them gushing over each other’s gifts.

“Oh, he’s adorable!  I love him!  Did you make this yourself?”

“I did!”

“Here, open mine.”

“I love it!  That’s so thoughtful!  I love you!”

“I love you!”

They can be a bit sickening sometimes.  Like the stomach ache you get after you eat too much sugar.

Somehow, my brother has a sappy, adorable, ‘90s rom-com relationship.  Nothing makes him happier, and it’s exactly what he deserves, so of course I’m happy for him.  

I hear Nick and Charlie leave and I slump further into the couch.  I can’t tell if what I’m feeling is nausea or envy.  

There is something so obvious and effortless and exceptional about Nick-and-Charlie.  They’re so open about their feelings.  Even if they didn’t say it a dozen times a day in various ways, with the way they hold hands, the way they look at each other, it’s clear to anyone that they’re mad for each other.  

I wonder if that is what Michael is expecting.

I jump when there’s a knock at the door.  I stand and grit my teeth.  If Michael is on the other side of it with a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a bouquet of red roses, I am going to slam the door in his face.

I open the door, and there he is.  No chocolates, no roses, no Valentine’s paraphernalia of any kind.  But he is wearing a red T-shirt that is suspiciously on-theme.  Of course he isn’t wearing a coat.

“Hello!” he trills when he sees me.

“Hi.”

“Sorry I didn’t bring my bike,” he says while I put on my coat.  “The roads are still too snowy for it.”  

This has been an exceptionally snowy winter.

“I don’t mind the walk,” I say.  

We set out, and it’s snowing lightly.  The streets are quiet, and the snow makes the whole world quiet, and Michael and I are quiet as we walk together through it.  It’s beautiful.  But I can’t fully appreciate it with all the noise in my head.

I don’t want to ask Michael, ‘What are we?’ partially because I might actually die of embarrassment if I did, but mostly because I’m afraid I won’t like his answer.  I’m not even sure what I would want his answer to be.

Instead, I ask, “What are we seeing?”  I stupidly didn’t think to ask earlier, and I belatedly realized that which movie he wants to see may indicate what his intentions are.

“They’re playing Amélie.”

Shit.  I love that movie.  And it also happens to be probably the most romantic movie that I actually like.

“You said you liked that movie, right?” he asks when I don’t respond.

“Yeah.”  I rewatched it recently, but I never actually finished it.  

We lapse into silence again.

On the high street, we walk past a shop with a display of red lingerie in the window with a sign reading, ‘For that special someone.’

I stare straight ahead, but somehow I can see both the display on my right and Michael on my left in my peripheral vision, and I’m trapped between them.  I shiver.

I stuff my fists deeper into my pockets and raise my shoulders so the collar of my coat comes up over my ears.  I peer sideways at Michael in his red t-shirt.  “Aren’t you ever cold?”

“Nope,” he says.  I can see his breath in the air and he turns to me.  “I’m…hot blooded!  Check it and see!”

I quicken my pace and leave him behind me as he continues to sing Foreigner’s ‘Hot Blooded’.  

“I’ve got a fever of a hundred and three!”

I roll my eyes.  God, I hate that song.  I hear his footsteps as he catches up to me.

“Come on baby, do you do more than dance?” he sings into my ear.

“Please stop,” I say, looking straight ahead.

“Am I annoying you?”

Yes.  “I’m cold.”

He drapes his arm over my shoulders and I consider shrugging him off, but he is actually quite warm, so I just trudge through the cold beside him.

“I’m hot blooded, I’m hot blooded,” he sings to himself before he stops.

I’m aware that someone being cheerful is a shitty reason to be annoyed with them.  It’s not exactly that I’m annoyed with Michael.  I’m sort of annoyed with the world in general for no particular reason.  Because I’m a pessimistic idiot.  Maybe I’m just making things up in my head to get sad about. 

Michael’s joy can be infectious.  I wish I wasn’t so resistant.  I wish I could just let his joy burrow into me and make a home.  Like how warmth always seeps into the cold.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrive at the cinema, where a giant heart is displayed in the window.  The lobby is filled with couples: couples holding hands, couples whispering to each other, couples laughing, couples kissing.  I’m not sure what else I should have expected on Valentine’s Day.

I unzip my coat; the heaters must be on full blast and it’s stuffy in here.

Michael and I weave through all the couples and eventually settle into our seats.  One of the couples from the lobby sit behind us and start giggling to each other insufferably.  I wonder if it is going to be like this for the next two hours.  I wonder if I can slam my head into the seat in front of me with enough force to knock myself out.

The lights dim, and thankfully they do shut up by time the movie starts. 

About halfway through, I realize that I am enjoying myself.  Or rather, I realize that I was enjoying myself.  Because my absorption in the movie is interrupted by a wet, fleshy, clicky sort of sound behind me.  The couple are now making out.  Like, really obnoxiously.  Why do people have to ruin everything?

I stare at the seat in front of me.  The noises do not stop.  In fact, they’ve escalated.  I don’t think I’ve cringed so hard in my life.

I peer over at Michael, who appears oblivious to the whole thing.  Then I notice that his arm is perched on the armrest between us, with his palm sort of half-opened, like maybe he’s hoping I’ll put my hand in his.  I don’t.  My hands are wedged between my knees, and I dig my nails into my palm, trying to tune out the noises behind me.

The rest of the movie passes slowly, but I can’t seem to focus too much on it.  As soon as the credits roll, I stand up and grab my coat.  I involuntarily glance at the couple behind me.  They seem to have just realized that they’re in public.  I look away and shuffle out of the row of seats.

Michael follows me out of the cinema.  He suggests we get something to eat at Cafe Riviere and I agree, mainly because I can’t stand a silent, awkward walk home.

Inside the cafe is decorated for Valentine’s Day, with paper hearts and cupids hung on the wall and from the ceiling.  We order our food, and Michael talks about how much he enjoyed the movie, and how he understands why I like it, and something about the cinematography.  I nod and mhm along as needed, but I think he can tell I’m distracted.  Our food arrives before he asks me about it.

When we finish eating, I suggest we head home.  It’s grown dark, and it’s still snowing.  Michael and I walk side by side, watching the snow fall on the river as we go.

Michael doesn’t say anything, and I wonder if I’ve ruined the evening by being a misanthropic shit.

I’m about to ask him as much, but as I turn, I slip on some ice and lurch forward.  My hands are in my pockets, but before my face smashes into the pavement, Michael catches me.  One of his hands grips my arm, while the other clutches my hand, which is braced to break my fall.

He steadies me before letting go.

“Thanks,” I mutter.

“No problem.”

We continue walking.

“You’ve been really quiet today,” he says.  “Is something the matter?”

“I’m always quiet.”

“Well, more than usual.  Come on, spit it out.”

I consider saying nothing, or brushing him off with some generic excuse.  But as the seconds tick by, I can feel him looking at me so intently and finally I blurt, “I don’t want things to be weird between us!”

“Are things weird between us?”  He sounds genuinely surprised.  I realize this may be one of those things I’ve made up in my head and gotten upset about for no reason.

He waits for me to answer.  I stop walking and so does he.  I turn my head to look at him, feeling mortified.

“Why did you ask me out on Valentine’s Day?”  It comes out angrier than I intend.

His face contorts with anger and confusion.  “Why did I—?”  He sighs.  “Why do you think I did?”

I can’t say it.  I just stare at him.

I watch Michael’s face return to normal as understanding slowly sets in.  “Did you think I was planning some romantic candlelit dinner with chocolate and roses and everything?” 

I feel my face getting hot and I don’t say anything.  That is exactly what I thought, which is entirely too embarrassing to admit. 

“Because that wasn’t what I was going for at all,” Michael continues.  “Honestly, I had forgotten it was Valentine’s Day until you mentioned it.” 

I bite my lip and look down.  “Oh.” 

It’s silent for a moment, besides the sound of the river.  Then Michael says, “Tori,” softer this time.  “I don’t have, like, any expectations or anything.  I just like spending time with you.” 

It’s a relief to hear, but I don’t entirely trust it.  “Why?”

He looks at me with this indecipherable expression.  “Because you’re…you.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

He sighs a little.  “It’s a compliment, Spring.  Trust me.”

I do, so I say, “Okay.”  And we keep walking.  And things feel a bit better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we make it back to my house, I see Nick’s car parked outside, which means that Charlie has beaten me home.

I linger outside the door, on the front stoop so that I’m standing almost at eye-level with Michael.

“I’m sorry that I made today weird,” I tell him.

“S’okay.  I don’t mind weird,” he says and then pauses thoughtfully.  “I mean…society kinda makes today weird, doesn’t it?” he asks rhetorically.  “All these unrealistic expectations about performing romance in a very specific, public display, when really doesn’t it make more sense to just show the people you care about that you care about them?”

He says it in the general sense, but he’s looking at me like he means just me, like he’s saying he cares about me.

“You care about me?”  It sounds like I’m teasing him, but only because it feels so strange.  For someone to really care about me, and to say it.

“You know I do.”  He says it so nonchalantly, like it’s obvious.

I nod.  I know that.  I’m trying to get used to believing it.  

I thought the only people I really cared about were Charlie and Oliver, but I realize that that isn’t true.  

So I force myself to tell him, “I do, too.  I care about you, too.”  Because it’s important that I say it, and that he hears it, and that he believes it.

He gives me a big, cheesy grin.  “I know.”

He looks so earnest and he blushes a little, so I decide to do something.  

I slowly lean in and I kiss him.  Maybe it’s meaningless, or maybe it isn’t, but it’s nice, so I decide not to worry about it.

We break apart and I look up at him and he gives me this little smile that sort of makes me want to kiss it away.  Instead, I stare at his face for a moment, taking in his joy, and I feel myself smile back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say.  I turn around, open the door, and step inside before I overthink it.

We haven’t made any plans, but I want to see him, and I know he wants to see me.  Even if I don’t really understand why, I know he does.  I’ve chosen to accept it rather than question it.

I shut the door behind me.  

“Tori?” Charlie calls out, making me jump.  I suppose this is payback, as I’m usually the one startling him.

I lean in the doorway to the living room and cross my arms.  Charlie and Nick are sitting together on the couch.  It is very obvious from their postures and disheveled hair that I have interrupted them making out.  Ugh.

“Where were you?” Charlie asks.

“Out.” 

“By yourself?”

“...No.”  Charlie clearly expects more of an answer, and I figure it is better to give him something rather than let him speculate.  “I was out with Michael.”

“Oh,” Charlie says in an all-too-interested tone.  “How is he?”

“Fine.”  I sound too defensive.  I uncross my arms.  “He’s…good.”

Charlie smiles at me.  “Good.”

I smile back briefly, then duck back into the hall and head upstairs.

Tomorrow I will see Michael, and maybe I will enjoy myself, and maybe I will tell Charlie about it.  Maybe Michael will keep wanting to see me, even if I don’t understand why.  Maybe I won’t be sad all the time.  Maybe everything will turn out okay.