#Ill be fine tmr
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr Inc. is using 66 technologies for its website.
Note
you wanna talk about it?
Haha
There's nothing to talk about
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
See I put this pressure on myself to be the perfect partner and perfect friend and everything. And im not very good at it but im still trying and wow am I failing. But im sooo nice im so cruel and gentle I can make you laugh. And no one is stopping me from communicating my own issues but myself, but you dont understand. I can be perfect, I can become the perfect emotionless lover, I just have to try harder.
#87 degrees#no children#and then I found out two people I am “friends” with hung out without me and ouch#I feel like im in highschool again and Im no ones first choice- just the backup#And that makes me want to shut myself off forever so much#I want to avoid doing things that make me happy. I want to rot#Ill be fine tmr
0 notes
Text
Gasp
snork mimimimi
#jerrsterrr art#sleeping after wasting an entire day Nd prentending tmr will be different#i have assigments#art animations#even friends to talk to#but didnt do any of that lol#starting yo consider uhhhhtaking mental health seriously hahshahdhjabut ill be fine give me like#a day#another day#ill make it thtough thistime i#promise#ramblings
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
RANT
#hey boss#u uh- u said i was working sun n wed- can i have more consistent days so i have days to block out for interviews?#.#uve been forewarned#ok so its four months into my gap year and HOLY SHIT JOB SEARCHING IS SO FRUSTRATING#so im working as a clerk at this law firm mon and wed (only 8 hours total tho)#n i THOT i had my reatil job in the bag but then boss goes “yea im really sorry but i cant give u three days - only sundays and weds”#so i was like great ok i need another job thats cool ill just bliock out sundays and weds for potential employers#THEN on sat boss texts n goes “ahhh i dont need u till next week- also can u switch ur wed to fri”. ??????? MA'AM#so i go#she says sorry kid i dont WHICH IS FINE I APPRICIATE THE COMMUNICATION#so i have an interview the next day at a coffee shop for a time THE MANAGER OFFERED#i show up after having pit my day aside for this noon interview#i walk in employees go “uh ho manager stepped out”#she camnt come back for the rest of the day AND doesnt apologize in her email- just “unfourntallyyyy i didnt have time to check my email”#MAAM YOU SEND THE INVITE#whatever#luckily last friday i was invited to this job fair by like four diff locations in san fran n was immeditaly hired#(first trial shift tmr yay!)#but the commute is gonna be KILLER#however im hopeful n i love coffee so yay#also my pet sitting is taking off ive got two sits booked for october#which is suprising bc im also traveling for half the month#manchester edenbrough st andrews milan lake como babayyyyyyy#also this thursday im heading to chicago and maine for a wedding (yay go love!) and to tenessee for another wedding in jan#so now ive got law firm retail associate barista dog sitter n i just KNOW when the holidays roll around n both retail jobs will be wack ill#be floored#but. ahem anywats good things frustrating thinsg stressful things but GOD am i glad i took this gap year#oh yea and ive been hiking tones! lands end trail#tilden park
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
third plane might've just hit the sapphic towers wtf
#i cant even write the mtzu fic i wanted to write oh#okay i just need to go to sleep and ill be fine its not that serious .#lets just all go to bed and itll be okay tmr ........ goodnight........................#one thing i better not wake up to is an apology tho..... let this blow over do not make it an issue!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Man i havent done my hw all week lmao
#<///3#its fine (lying)#no actually its fine#ill do it tmr#i have one more day#so long as i don't procrastinate tmr too then ill be safe#unfortunately i have a bad track record of not procrastinating so well see how likely that is
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
#ooc.#good news tho my kidney be fine no infection which was on the table for a couple days#health issues /#ill go sleep soon very sorry for no ic stuff#ill try my best to do some but this week looks like itll be a lot#if anyone wants my discord to yap with me let me know#tmr is the next app at a diff doc#lays down
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
finished assignment before work yay.
#i still have a project i havnt started yet but ill get that tmr its due tmr night but i will get her done mwah#just that and quizzes and a psych assignment and math but math can be done worse case monday moring#but its short i shall be fine.#gotta go to my gay ass job now thoughhhh aughhh
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
So so so fucking angry tonight
#mars says stuff#EVERYTHING IN MY PERSONAL LIFE IS LEGIT FINE I PROMMY#IM JUST SO SICK OF THE ZIONIST MISINFORMATION AND MILQUETOAST APATHETIC DEMOCRAT BULLSHIT THAT#I FEEL COMPLICIT IN BC I WORK FOR A RADIO STATION AND I HAVE TO PUMP OUT NEWS PROMOS#AND ITS THE ONLY JOB I HAVENT BEEN FIRED FROM#AND IM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE RAMPANT TRANSPHOBIA AND ESPECIALLY TRANSMISOGYNY#EVERYWHERE I FUCKING GO AND TO HAVE OTHER TMASC PPL BE LIKE 'LMAO THATS NOT REAL AND IF IT IS ITS NOT THAT BAD THESE CRAZY BITCHES'#WHEN I SEE IT ONLINE AND IN PERSON EVERY FUCKING DAY AND IM NOT EVEN THE ONE IT EFFECTS#AND I TRY TO ENGAGE IN MY COMMUNITY. THERES A JUNETTENTH EVENT IM GOING TO TMR TO TRY AND SCOUT OUT SOME LOCAL ORGS#I CAN VOLUNTEER FOR TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER IN MY COMMUNITY#but tonight i just feel shitty and small and ineffectual and hypocritical and angry and cowardly#AND EVERYONES LIKE OH DEAL WITH THAT ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY THATLL HELP#MOTHERFUCKER I USE IT AS FUEL TO MAKE ART. TO PLAY MUSIC. TO TRY NOT TO FLUNK OUT OF A SCHOOL THAT I HATE BC OF THE INSTITUTIONS IT UPHOLDS#and i never have enough after my bills are paid to donate to all the gofundmes both here and in palestine i want to help out#im just so fucking mad. but im also 5'3“ and awkward and chubby and I cant fight and all of my friends tease me for it and it comes from a#place of love and im not mad at them. i just wish i could kick someones ass tonight. some fucking bigot i could put all my rage behind#and just keep hitting and hitting until the fucker stopped moving. but i cant do that. both not physically and also bc i Might Lose Everythi#ng#ill delete this tomorrow#time to watch some shitty youtube videos and eat something and get high enough that i dont feel so fucking mad#just consume my way out of it lmao
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ohhh paradise lost fucking kills you
#ok well no wonder huh#its fine its just an elixir and wtv materials being needed for ascendant prayer being wasted haha no biggie#i should honestly like. research what the boss does instead of just winging it all the time huh#its fine water had a great time until i realise i lost my dispeller#whew its fine all is fine all is great ill do it with light tmr they should be having a lovely time#also wow i am this bored huh im fucking going into random avatar raids and just throwing my lucio at it and watching him go (its fun)
1 note
·
View note
Text
I could probably get away with pulling an all nighter,, i don't rly wanna sleep :(
#im not struggling w/ any of the classes i have tomorrow infact i could just do all my work and extra for comp sci rn becasue its all online#i have french but we didnt have homework so idt we'll be doing anything important even if we do french is one of my best classes#this is mostly because i can't bring myself to put in almost any effort for my core classes. idek what I' supposed to do in human geo since#the teacher isnt good at exxplaining#hes a great teacher its a fun class during led instruction#but when we have to do work on our own its just “Oh yeah you need to do the essay” which is fine its only 400 words but. I do not know what#iam doing#I also have english tmr but i have literally the nicest english teacher nd its 8th period ill be awake ish by then and even if im not im su#sure she'd let me put my head down during independant reading. Her room is lit dimly w/ like string lights and a few lamps#she says the overhead lights hurt her eyes and distract students aometimes#sleeping would be so hard rn like not because im hyper energized just. my face hurts sm and i have music in my head and im too hungryt oo f#fall aswell#asleep#gonna. rest and do nothing but i probably wont sleep lol
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
omg.... my new nearest audiology department actually has an EMAIL TO CONTACT!!!!!!! we're so fucking back baby
#looking to register bc i havent had a hearing checkup in like. 4-5 years lol#im supposed to have repeats every 2-3 years but my old audio dept is on the other side of the country....#and my hearing loss has been stable since i was 2 yrs old so its not super urgent to keep track of..#but ive had my current hearing aids for over 6 years now i think which is the average lifespan. and they still work fine#but i really should be taking them in to adjust every six months n get new moulds fitted regularly....... oops#i do replace the tubing but yeah im way behind on maintenance#and considering i wear them like 50 hours a week n im kinda dependent on them at work i need to keep on top of it more#ALSO what i reaaaaally want is ones that have bluetooth connectivity bc when i last got mine that tech wasnt widely available#but now i think theyre nhs standard. so fingers crossed i can upgrade plsss i wanna be able to use them for phone calls n music!!!#i can make a good case for it if needed cuz i need to use headphones at work sometimes#actually might be able to get an access to work grant for bonus hearing aid equipment..... i should look into that#i was skeptical for ages bc i had a VERY old roger mic as a kid which was effectively a box on a lanyard i had to give to ppl#it was clunky as shit and had awful sound quality i gave up using it after a year or two#but now they have very sleek n subtle ones n the tech has improved so much like it filters bg noise n can connect to tvs n shit#so would be really useful in meetings or when im like. at a restaurant or somewhere w a lot of bg noise....#ahhhh itll take time to get everything sorted tho. need to start w just getting this audiology referral in place#ill swing by the gp practice after work tmr and ask for an appointment for that#need to get dressed and leave the flat.... but i dont want to 😔#in a bit....#.diaries
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
my fingers are cramping cause i just posted my top 30 movies and it took fucking forever 😭😭
me when i spend five minutes practicing violin
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
nsfw.
#bro i went to a punk show w this guy and we were making out and shit and i wanted to fuck him so bad#but he didnt seem to want to do anything else he was kinda shy n shit so i was like ok ill behave whatever no problem at all#and now. this motherfucker tells me he DIDN'T NOTICE#DUDE I HAD MY HAND AROUND YOUR NECJ AND MY OTHER ONE ON YOUR ZIPPER WHAT DO YOU MEAN#i hate men#we're getting high tmr tho so. its fine. its his weed.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
good morning I'm in Eid holidays 🥰🥰🥰🥰
3 notes
·
View notes