#I want their ending to be happy cause I’ll be destroyed if it isn’t

[emily-mooon]

It’s thinking about Jancy hours for me right now.

[hidtired]

sooo what i you do a Daryl x reader where the reader and Daryl had a relationship before the whole outbreak but when the world went to shit, they got separated and they didn't find each other again until Daryl and Aaron are out looking for people and they find the reader in some sort of abandoned building and it's just a sweet reunion. Btw I love your reading and I have no idea what you mean by GRAMMER MISTAKES- LIKE WHERE- but I love ur work <3

That makes my dyslexic ass very happy. I reread my stuff so much and always find mistakes so I try!

Miles Away

(Daryl Dixon x Reader) Masterlist

“Things are never lost to you; you are lost to them. If ever in need of something that has lost you, simply stop hiding from it.”

6.2k words

Description: A last minute trip leaves you separated from your fiancé when the world ends. Years of travel inevitably returns you to him. But years out in the world causes change.

Your POV

An unlikely relationship to have happened between two individuals, but happened all the same. It was a shock to the small town at the time. Even years later the announcement of your engagement causing some ruffled feathers. You the sweet town girl and a rugged Dixon. You were often discouraged from people about Daryl. You had dated the man for around 7 years now. Even so, the people around you told you it was a mistake to go through with a marriage. How could you not do it? He proposed, something you thought he would never do because his parents. He put it simply, “I already see you as my wife. Guess it was bout time I actually made you that rightfully.” So you told everyone to respectfully mind their business.

Then the world ended. You were thousands of miles in the air at the start. Daryl having dropped you off at the airport. You sulked with leaving, becoming mushy about going to New Hampshire to see your dementia ridden mother for the most likely last time. She was getting bad and some family had gathered and deciding to pull the plug. You still remember the last thing you said to him. Tears in your eyes as he held you outside TSA. “I’ll be back in a few days. Then I’m turning that title of fiancé into husband the next I see you.” You felt him chuckle into you, “Yes Ma’am you will.” Expressing I love you’s and the last kiss before you had to catch your flight. This isn’t the first time you had gone to check on your mom. Daryl insisted on coming but he had a hunting trip with his brother and you didn’t want to ruin that. So you had told him no. Why did you tell him no.

The first community you were apart of was the airport you landed at. It lasted a few months, food was plenty for the time and there were weapons from security. It was the people who ended up getting everyone killed. Few disagreements here and there caused a split, factions of sorts. One group kidnapped a pilot to try and fly a plane back to their loved ones. The plane they took hadn’t been run or properly check since everything fell. So it crashed into the fence destroying a good part of the airport with it. The crash attracted a horde and quickly over ran the place. You had a few survivors with you from the airport until you had either lost or seen them all killed.

You headed south, back to Daryl. Miles and miles of land keeping you from Georgia. It was 2 years going on 3 now. You would come across community’s, some still going some gone. Finding less than great people on the road. So that leads you to now. Two wannabe cowboys trying to lasso you like cattle. A scar carved into there for heads the only odd thing about them. They spit out concerning threats and comments, “You can have my seconds when I’m done Bill!” A rope had caught tight to your ankle leading you unable to run. You almost tripped but held your ground. Before this encounter you’d been having it tough for a few weeks. You had barely made any distance in the time you had traveled. The frustration and despair and shit luck wore you thin. You had a gun, only one in the chamber. Leaving one for you if you needed it. About the only ‘cure’ there is nowadays.

You thrashed around trying to fight off the men. You were already covered in grime. They were trying to capture you, not kill. That changed when the gun came out. This alone helpless woman became not so helpless. You fired your only shot at the bigger guy. The smaller one still had the rope and tugged making you miss killing the other. It hit him in the shoulder sending him crying in pain to the forest floor. It was moments like these that made you zone out. Violence wasn’t something you had in you. But now something learned, you had been out in the world too long. Taking a life becoming a norm. You used to care, then you remembered why they were all dead.

The steadiness you felt inside didn’t translate to the out. You scream and yell promises of death. You had managed to grab the rope from your ankle and used it to strangle the man who tied it to you. You broke a few ribs of his while he slowly chocked to death. You had your legs around him while you pulled back at his throat, you had heard and felt a few cracks. The man you had shot watching in horror has he struggled to decide, fight or flight? He choose froze, big scary man having his power taken from him and he becomes a coward. Your incessant screams and yells stopped when he stilled. You focus back to the injured. He rambled apologies to you at your approach. It fell on deaf ears, spotting a large rock near him. You didn’t kill him with speed. You broke his leg with the rock, slowly moving up his body. He was long dead when you were done swinging. Blood splattered and dripping down you.

A frustrated and adrenaline filled scream released out of you. All your noise attracted the infected near you. You ran still with a rope tied to you. You found a small home that was overgrown and slid into it. The knife you didn’t realized you pulled out while running tremble in your hand. You slide down the old wall in the building. The regret to your brutality flowing over you. Killing was normal for survival now, but what you did was cruel. You took your time and did it in brutal ways.

You were twirling the ring on your finger as a nervous habit. Often times doing it for a sense of safety from the man who had given it to you. You thought about him most days. Either when you do something he himself had taught you. That time spent with him in the woods had you picking up little things from him in time. It is why you’re alive for as long as you were. But come closer to night time when you just want to roll into his arms and let the world cease to exist. To just talk to him and hear his voice. But you were no longer the person he knew, and that broke your heart more. The blood covering you, the mans and yours was a very big indication of that fact.

The dead must have saw you run off and tried to follow. The sound of a leaf crunching told you only one must have stumbled correctly in your direction. The quiet movement and lack of undead moans told you all you needed to know.

‘They must have had friends.’

Daryl POV

He was devastated knowing you were far from his reach. Blame for not going with you. It was your mother dying how could he have just let you tell him it was fine? That, “We will go to the funeral when that comes.” He was bitter and angry in the beginning. Then it was hope when he got to the prison with people he now considered family. Maybe one day he would find you again. Then the prison fell and reality seemed to hit him.

Acceptance came when he finally confessed to Rick of your existence. It was when they sat against that car after the night with the claimers. He broke when he told him he was his brother. A mention of Beth stirring the thought of you with it. He looked away from Rick taking a shaky breath, “I lost her like how… how I lost m’ wife.” Rick’s eyes widened taking in the information. Tears build in Daryl’s eyes before he steels himself, “Completely out of my control and yet… somehow was.” Rick understands the feeling, it turns out Daryl knew just that to. When he lost Lori, it was Daryl that helped hold things together. That sudden understanding knocked into him. Rick cautiously asked, “Are they both dead…?” Daryl looked out to the forest. He slowly shook his head, “Just gone.”

When Beth died it also felt like you died with her. The hope he always had that you were out there seemingly dying inside him. He knew the kind of person you were. He would kill squirrels and you would feed them. He knew you were far too nice for your own good. You had spent hours in the rain trying to lure a kitten from under the neighbors shed. Catching a cold so bad it stuck with you for a week. You were his fragile thing in the world he promised to protect. To not just keep you alive but keep your innocence. Whether you were dead or not you would have had killed something in you to live in today’s world. To not be able to protect you from anything felt like he failed you.

He still held a hope you went down peacefully. It had to be meaningful because your life had to be for something. He tried to do the same by giving his life for others. Most recently that person being Aaron. In truth he was ok with dying knowing there was a slim chance of seeing you once again. Things that reminded him that maybe it was better for you to have not suffered. With the horde and assholes he tried to help and others assholes destroying Alexandria’s walls. So now that leading them, him and Aaron tracking the few Wolves who fled. They knew Rick said not to go recruiting people. The distance yells and screams caught there interest. They still need to try despite Rick being jumpy and “taking no chances”. If they could only just make sure whoever was well then that was enough.

When they got closer to a woman’s scream, which sounded in between scared and angry, the dead also seemed to take interest into the noise. The yelling had stopped near when the shot went off, so finding exactly where this person was in the woods became harder. The sight they found was not what they expected. Aaron had held a hand to his mouth, “What the-“ The sight was gruesome, two body’s laid in the dirt. One unrecognizable due to being beaten to a pulp. The other had a walker chewing on its leg. The neck of the man purple. Daryl looked on at the sight with a scowl and went to put the near walker down. He took notice of the W carved into the dead mans head, “Well shit.” Aaron perked up as he watched Daryl crouch down to the man who was choked. Daryl turning gesturing with his head to the body, “These the assholes who fled.” Aaron walked and peeked to see a W carved into there forehead. These two were the last known of the group and they had seemed to died gruesomely, but not by the dead. Aaron turned to Daryl as a realization hit him, “Where the girl who was screaming?”

A unwelcome chill and uneasiness drifted in the air. A thick cloud of a sad thought, “M’ guess they must have attacked her and she shot big fella over there. Then ran from the walkers.” Daryl nibbled at his lip, his eyes roamed the surrounding, maybe a clue confirming the theory. Some blood caught his attention, then he noticed further that in a direction something was dragged through the forest floor. He pointed in the direction making Aaron turn. Aaron looked to have some kind of resolve, “Let’s make sure she is ok.” Daryl nodded while walking forward to track, “If there comes back with us I’ll try and talk Rick into letting them stay. Hell best we can offer is at least some meds, she did use a favor with those dick bags.” Aaron eyebrows scrunched, “Maybe that would help their case. I don’t like not being about to recruit people anymore.”

The trail Daryl followed lead him to a very overgrown building. It was clear the place may have been abandoned even before the fall. Daryl walked quietly, he gestured he would go around back and that Aaron should go in the front. Aaron crouched and made his way closer to the building while Daryl went to the back. The slow creak of the wooden door making it obvious he was there, Aaron had no stealth in him. So he knows if someone was in this place they knew he was here, he might as well make himself known. He gulped seeing a hand print of blood on the wall closed to the door, “I don’t want to hurt you. Just heard you screaming and saw the bodies of those men. Your not hurt are you?” His weight making the wood underneath him bend with every step. The place was silent, but he knew that someone was here if the blood trail wasn’t any indication.

It was sudden, almost like a flow of wind whipping behind him. A cold knife pressed to his neck. You had drifted out of the dark from somewhere stunning him in shock. He nervously brought his hands up in surrender, “Woah! There’s no need for that.” He tried to stay calm but an obvious tremor to his voice giving away his nerves. The quick movement and tone had alerted the archer to his danger though. Daryl saw a grimy and bloody figure stand to Aaron’s side. Daryl lifted and clicked his crossbow of safety and pointed to the potential threat.

It was clear by the way the person froze they knew they were now out numbered. It was also evident that this person was trembling. They were in a fight mode from just being attacked and he didn’t blame them for being on edge. By the looks of it they had been out in the world for to long, something he was familiar with. This person seemed to be thinking of anyway to run and Daryl decided he should speak stopping those thoughts from getting to how you got away from the other guys.

“Put the knife down, we just were wantin to see if yeah are ok.”

The slow turn of the persons head seemed almost confused. But the soon flicker of eye contact between them revealed all. His grip on his crossbow slowly slipping. His heart pumped in his ears. You. Maybe he was dreaming? You? The building feeling dropped in him. Some way somehow he was staring at you, the women he would burn the world for. He watched as the knife was moved from Aaron and saw it fall to the floor. The sound of you crashing back to the wall behind you giving him a clear view of you. You were covered in dirt and blood. Hair was much shorter then the last he saw you. It was choppy like you did it with a dull blade. It was also tinted darker from being unwashed. Holes throughout your clothes and the collar loose. He slowly stepped closer ignoring Aaron. Then he saw it, a flicker of a sparkle coming from your finger.

The ring he gave you…

Your POV

The clumsy man sloppily creeped up into the house. A voice calmly spoke as they realized they were less than quiet entering, “I don’t want to hurt you. Just heard you screaming and saw the bodies of those men. Your not hurt are you?” The hatred still buzzed in you from your near death experience. This man claimed to ‘not want to hurt you’ but never said they weren’t going to hurt you. The man walked with heavy feet. You were in a dark room hugging the wall near the door. If he was truthful about just overhearing everything you didn’t want to kill him. It was hard to remember that not everyone was out to get you. Even so you quickly rushed to pull your knife to his neck.

The man seemed schooled while raising his hands in surrender. A good move that eased his threat level to you. You took notice of his clean appearance, something that seemed a little strange at first. He looked to you with ought moving his head. Eyes glancing down to you, “Woah! There’s no need for that.” It was clear to you this guy was not involved with the others you just killed. Before you could ask anything a click from across the hall stunned you into a sense of danger overflowing from you again. You didn’t move your sight from the man in front of you. It was clear some kind of weapon was pointed at you. You hadn’t heard the other person at all? Maybe the first guy was so loud you didn’t even think he had another person with him. Should you run? Maybe kill the guy at your knife point and use him as a shield for the other-

“Put the knife down, we just were wantin to see if yeah are ok.”

It was as if a ghost whispered in your ear. The unexpected voice from the dark pulling at your heart and memories. Maybe you were losing it, becoming crazy? All this time out in the world had gotten to you. Your eyes while scared to drift to the darkness and see nothing quickly glanced over to confirm if you lost it. Blue eyes is what you saw. His baby blue eyes that you used to joke would be the color of your children’s. Daryl, crossbow slowly lowering revealing more of himself. The knife slipped from your hand. The man near you back away after it fell. You didn’t even notice while crashing backwards. Eyes still locked with a seeming allusion of your lover. A overwhelming mess of feeling all at once made you numb. You were in Virginia… still miles from Georgia.

He stepped closer, hair longer and clothes seemed worn but still clean. You struggled to suck air in to your lungs, starting to hyper ventilate. You slid down the wall still looking at him. He crouched down to your level eyes glassy and a look of pain in his eyes.

“Darlin’…”

Both POV

Your lips wobbled as tears flood your vision. A sudden rush of air finally hitting your lungs. He almost reached out to touch you but froze halfway not wanting to scare you. The first sound of a cry released from you. You sent yourself flying up at him, encircling him into your arms. He caught you but stumbled back landing on his ass. He felt your body shake with your cry’s. A tightness stuck in his throat as he held you. A moment neither thought would have again.

"Uh, Daryl what just happened?"

Daryl looked over your shoulder and up to a very confused Aaron. A long sigh released from him, "M' Wife." He leaned his head down onto yours. You pulling back to look to him. Tears still in your eyes blurring your vision slightly. Not enough to not take notice of how he changed, for as long as you've known him he's never looked more mature. You sniffle, "I thought I'd never see you again." The clear strain to the admission broke his heart. He knew though, despite that you had been trying to get back, you wouldn't be in front of him now if you hadn't. He wiped at your tears still not fully processing. He noticed Aaron move and sigh, "I'll give you a moment, keep in mind we have to get back before dark." He walked out the door and it creaked and slowly swung closed. It had seemed you had only just noticed and remembered he was there. But you had also remembered that the world was still shit. You looked to Daryl and you notice he was looking at you already.

"Shit. Are you hurt? I saw those assholes bodies-" He seemed to realized it to. The world was different, therefore so were you. He might still have lost you. "-you killed those pricks?" His innocent little thing? He looked to the blood that covered you. Then he remembered the way those bodies looked. You looked away from his eyes seemingly ashamed, "Yes." It was a slightly cold reply. Squeezed fists, nails digging into your palm. "They cornered me so I killed them." It wasn't even a second when Daryl replied with a grumble in his voice, "Good." Your eyes spring to look at his face in surprise. You saw the unwavering truth in that moment. Yes you had changed, so had he.

You smile while tears stream down your face. He was truly here. You grab his face in your hands and look deep into his eyes. He was mesmerized by the change. The love in your eyes remain the same he last saw them, in the end you were still his. He should have clocked that the moment he still say the ring on your finger. You let in a breath before speaking, “The only reason I’m still alive is because of you.” He wasn’t expecting that. He seemed to bite his tongue and look down for a second. Guilty. You forgot how soft hearted this man was, you’re glad that somehow is still with him. You never thought that maybe he would blame himself for the separation. You lift his head to look back to you, “All the times I would watch you hunt, track, and prepare kills kept me fed. All the times I should have given up or accepted death I told myself I would crawl my way to you if I had to.”

Then is when the crashing feeling dropped on him. The love he held for you that felt like a void suddenly was right in front of him. You slowly leaned into him giving a slow kiss. His hand slipped behind your head pulling you into a deeper kiss. Something both would fantasize about now becoming a reality. You wince causing Daryl to pull back. He pulled you back and took a look at you. You huffed a sigh sitting back to the forgotten rope around your foot. Daryl’s eyes round at the rope around your swollen ankle, he grabbed your leg mumbling curses. You sighed, “Shit, forgot about that.” You flinch while he carefully unwraps it. You didn’t feel the pain until now. It didn’t feel broken but the guy must have sprained it the time he pulled on it before you shot his friend. Maybe the crunching you heard while strangling the guy with the rope was your foot. Daryl grunted and had that worried pout he did, “We gotta get yeah back to get that looked at.” He stood first helping you stand. You stumbled giving him a questioning look, “Back where?” He helped you out the door, the man you didn’t recognize turning to your exit of the shack. Daryl started to explain, “We have a community, it’s a little drive away.”

You cringe at the word community. You have seen your fair share of them, either run by crazy’s with a weird motive or something natural would happen destroying the place. “Don’t have the greatest relationship with those but, if you say so.” You look to the man Daryl was with, he seemed bamboozled. He walked closer to you and helping you walk. Daryl seemed perturbed, “I got her, I’ll get her to your car.” You watched somewhat comically as the man sassed and brush’s off his statement. You expected Daryl to hurl harsh words at him because he typically hated when anyone challenged him. But by this man’s tone, “You got shot few days ago. Not the greatest idea to carry her with your shoulder.” he was friends with him. Daryl scoffed but your eyes widened and looked to Daryl in shock. Daryl’s annoyed face at Aaron changed when he saw the worried one on yours, “Geez Aaron it was a graze! You’ll scare her talkin’ like that. Y/n don’t listen to him…”

They both were helping you through the woods seemingly to a road. Aaron chuckled as he took a glance to you, “Well to be fair never knew there was a Mrs. Dixon. Be good for her to finally keep you from being reckless.” Daryl scoffed rolling his eyes, the grip on you tightened from him, “Only ever mentioned it to one person, he’ll give me hell for her when we get back.” Daryl also can’t imagine all the rest of his family finding out you even existed. He looked down seeing you slightly amused at how he was acting. He knows he has changed, for the better he thinks. He was finally confident in saying you were right about his true nature all that time ago. He was just a big softie that denied it and put on a sour façade. He looked to Aaron then back to you, “You’ll be in the car with Aaron. Your to injured for my bike.”

You looked to this Aaron guy giving him an unsure look. He smiled to you shyly, “Best we don’t freak out the rest of are people. Those assholes you killed gave us hell and damaged are community.” That surprised you, looking as a road appeared through the trees, you hopped along, “You were out here for them?” You reached the car and Aaron left your side to open the passenger door. Daryl turning to explain, “They carved W in their head calling themselves wolves. Bunch of crazy’s.” He sighed looking past you, “Those two were the last of em. We didn’t want them doing anything else to anyone.” He rubbed your arm before helping you walk to car, “We were a little late for that I guess.” He helped you sit down noticing it was getting a little too dark for his liking. He moved down looking at Aaron in the drivers seat, “We gotta go before we worry people, I’ll lead the way.”

You sat there staring at Daryl as his headlight lit the road. Everything felt like it was moving really fast. The news of those people you killed were worse than you thought gave some justification for your brutality. Who were you kidding you had lost control. Aaron broke the silence in the humming car, “So, Y/n is it?” You glance over to Aaron just giving a hum in reply. He takes your awkward silence just as well as he takes Daryl. He heard you shuffle in your seat before asking, “How long have you known Daryl?” Aaron clocked the really meaning to the question, ‘how trustworthy are you’. Aaron chuckled, “A few months now.” Not long enough in your opinion. Yet Daryl seems so friendly with him? In such a short time? You decide to just ask another thing bothering you.

“What did he mean by he’ll get hell about me?”

Aaron sighed as he looked on to Daryl driving ahead, “Are leader will be a little pissed with bring you back. He is not big on newcomers right now after the recent incident, but you’re Daryl’s wife so not really new know are you.” This leader sounds to have the right idea about people. You fiddle with the ring on your hand, “So me staying is going to take some convincing?” Aaron smiled and nodded while he drove, “Well if anyone could convince him it would be his brother.” His brother is the leader of this place? That can’t be good. Merle was anything but a leader. This community is probably small and on its lasts legs, he did say it was just attacked and very damaged… guess you’ll be back out on the road sooner then you thought.

You looked out the window for the remainder of your ride. Aaron only speaking again when closer to the destination, “So we’re almost there. You should just stay in the car until we can give a heads up of your arrival?” You tilt your head in confusion, “I’m going in the community? Thought you said your leader wasn’t a people person right now?” You had thought you would have to stay behind considering so. Having to wait for some kind of approval. Aaron laughed a little, “Daryl has a fair amount of say. His family trusts him enough to make a call.” You sat there confused again, ‘Family?’ Just his brother? But he said it like there is a fair bit of people in this, ‘Family’. Your contemplating was interrupted when Aaron rolled to a stop. You looked around into the dark not realizing when Aaron turned off the headlights.

Then while Aaron filcked the lights on and off in a pattern you caught glimpses of a huge wall. You sat up in your seat leaning forward as you watched it slide open. Daryl rolled in first then Aaron slowly drove in. The first thing you notice was houses with a few lights on. Electricity? This place was huge… But your eyes were pealed back to Daryl. A group of people seemingly gathering around him seeming worried. Aaron unlocked the door and before getting out mumbled a quick, “Stay here.”

Daryl POV

There orders were to be back way before dark. So when they hadn’t come back it sent everyone in a panic. Not to mention they were already struggling with replacing broken parts of the wall and moving bodies. Rick had become a singled minded man again with Carl almost dying. So he wasn’t surprised when he came marching up to him unhappy about his tardiness, “Where the hell have you both been! We damn near sent people after you.” Daryl brought his hands to his hips, “Assholes are dead, but there is something else-“

“Stay here.”

Rick turned to see Aaron getting out of the car but he also noticed a figure in the passenger seat nodding. Anger flared in him, “I said no more recruiting! Damnit Daryl- put them in the cell!” Daryl was not about to be yelled at. Specially for something as important as this. “Hold the hell up-“ Rick shook his head in annoyance cutting Daryl off, “This is not negotiable!” Before Daryl could blurt out anything a running figure came screaming for Rick. It was Denise, “It’s Carl he is awake and freaking out!” Daryl felt his stomach drop. Rick hesitated in place before pointing to Glenn, “Go put them in the cell!” Then he ran off back to his son. Daryl turned to Glenn, “Nah man! You don’t get it!” Glenn looked to the people next to him before sighing and walking to the car. “Hey! Wait!” Abraham stepped in front of him blocking his path.

He huffed knowing he would have tackled Abraham if he wasn’t trying to be calm about this. “Get the hell out my way.” Then he heard your voice call out, “Uh… Daryl?” Very clear of your anxiety and how you might lash out if you feel in danger. Daryl needed to just had to suck it up, “ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! FINE!” He stepped to the side looking to Glenn, “Your throwing me in with her. Let’s go…” Glenn paused giving him a wide eye expression. Glenn looked back and forth conflicted but sighed and lead you to the cell Morgan just made. Glenn question Daryl on the walk, “Why are you doing this Daryl?” Daryl was walking slightly ahead with you right behind him. You answered for him, “I’m his wife.” A choked cough released from Glenn, “Woah!” Glenn paused looking to him the to you. “What the hell dude! Never said you were married!” Daryl saw they were getting closer to the building and ignored Glenn’s surprise. Glenn sighed, “Well damn now I don’t wanna lock you up.” Glenn walked past you both going down a small incline. He unlocked a door and rubbed at his next, “But Rick said. I’m sure once everything with Carl calms down he will let you out.” Glenn turned to you, “Sorry about this, newcomers is a sensitive thing at the moment.”

Much to Daryl’s dismay you half heartedly chuckled while walking into the room, “To be fair best I be in a cage. I did just brutally murder two men.” Glenn mouth was agape, “uh- what? She’s joking right?” Daryl just shrugged and followed you into the cell. Daryl even closed the door and stuck his arms through the bars before answering. While it was still a new thing to hear you be so… brutal… maybe just badass, he trusted you. “Don’t tell Rick why I’m in here with her. Want to rub it in his face for pissing me off and not listening to me.” Glenn chuckled and shrugged moving to lock the cell door, “If you say so.” You while just being a bystander to this conversation spoke up, “I thought Aaron said your brother was the leader, not this Rick guy?” Glenn started to laugh, “What you thought people would follow a dumbass like Merle?” Daryl squinted his eyes at Glenn… but he wasn’t wrong. Glenn smiled to him, “No offense.” Daryl just rolled his eyes putting his attention to you, “Rick is like a brother to me.”

Your face told him you were bewildered by that statement. Granted he knows back then Merle always through around ‘blood is the only thing we got’ when you both started dating. Maybe you thought he saw it that way to. Glenn was about to go out the door, “Aw, Daryl cares for us!” Before the door closed Daryl shouted back, “Get your head out of your ass ‘walker bait’!” A nickname sure to piss him off. You only looked to me pleased with the reaction. Awe struck in your eyes drew him closer to you. Alone at last, and it seemed you both had some catch up to do.

It was a lot of talking. Sitting against a wall with your hands intertwined. He told you about Merle’s death. How he came to be so friendly with all these people. You started crying and leaned into him. At first he thought you were sad but you were smiling proudly at him. You share your own story’s. Mentioning friends you’ve lost, mostly them all dying, how a few were just gone with you having no clue to how. “Told you I’d make you my husband the next time I saw you…” He felt his throat tightened, he grieved you to the point of acceptance. So having you here and now felt like another type of grieving. To what could have been. But before he could get into it farther an angry Rick stormed down into the cellar. Hand on hip with a baby Judith slumped over his shoulder. A stature of a man trying to show leadership, “What the hell are you doing here Daryl.” Rick’s eyes only glancing over to you for a second. Daryl sat there for a second prolonging the silence. While he couldn’t exactly blame Rick for having to run off before they could talk he should have known damn well he had say. So he glared daggers to Rick.

Rick moved from foot to foot shaking his head again, “Look we can’t go bring anyone in after the shit that happened-“ Daryl stood up waving his hands, “You think I’m stupid? Like I would go and bring someone back if it didn’t mean something?” Daryl stood straight closing in closer to the bars, “Now please go ahead and tell my WIFE! That she isn’t welcome here.” Ricks mouth gapped open, air releasing from his lungs, “T-that’s her!” Rick’s hand moved to his chest while turning to look at you. Daryl also turned around just seeing you nonchalantly resting on the floor.

“You two really do argue like brothers.”

Your eyes not staring at Rick but the baby girl he carried. Daryl’s heart filled with you pushing aside the anger of the situation, because this was supposed to be a happy moment. Daryl turned back to Rick seeming to have calmed down, “Now… you gonna let us out?” Rick started to laugh, Judith perking up to her father’s laughter. “Goddamn dude, I’m happy for ya.” Rick moved for the key in his pocket. Daryl reached out a hand to help you up, a visible limp still present. While walking here you tried to appear un injured, most likely trying not to look like easy pray. You truly were out there for a long time, his group knows what that could do to your mind.

The creaky bared door swings open leaving the little girl to finally met eyes with her uncle. Daryl sighed when he gained the little girls attention. Judith happily giggled while reaching for him. Though he found really hold her if he wanted to help you walk. That’s what drew his attention back to your face. He wasn’t expecting you to be looking at Judith like she was a puppy. Then you sniffled, “She’s so cute.” Rick looked to you while juggling his daughter. The know that sometimes things like Judith keep you going in hard times. But in your hard time you had nothing. So seeing something in this broken world like Judith was definitely pulling something inside you. Daryl though could help but smugly smile up to Rick with a, ‘Just look at m’ girl~.’ Showing off the one he loved at the start to the family he now has.

But damn if it didn’t feel good.

Feedback welcome and requests open! Maybe spin off if this does well and people want more.

[cupcakeslushie]

I dont usually send asks, mostly cause im shy and don’t know what to say lol, but I wanted to share my appreciation for your Kendratello AU, cause it’s helped me recognize a toxic relationship in my own life.

I’ve never been a victim to SA or anything of the likes, so I can’t say I’ve been EXACTLY in Donnie’s place, but something that unsettled me early on when reading your AU was how…NICE Kendra would seem when alone with Donnie.

In a lot of media, especially in the media I saw growing up, the manipulative antagonist almost always had very obvious tells that show they’re evil when interacting with the victim. Maybe they’re talking about committing a very clearly villainous deed, keep the protagonist prisoner, something like that. But Kendra didn’t. Well, not always.

Kendra destroyed Donnie from the foundation up, and then rebuilt him back up to be who she wanted him to be, would punish him but then spin the situation around to be his own fault, but the rest of the time she would seem kind.

Only recently have I realized that someone very close to me has been toxic for most of our lives, and the reason it took me this long to realize it was because they would treat me kindly only until it became in their own interest to act otherwise. But I would take it, because I loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings, and I assumed that since they loved me, they wouldn’t ACTUALLY (emotionally) hurt me.

Spoiler alert: they did.

I’m not going to get much more into it, but your AU’s been very comforting to me ever since this happened, because it’s helping me come to terms with the fact that what happened wasn’t my fault just because our relationship seemed nice most of the time.

Your depiction of Kendra manipulating Donnie so realistically, and Donnie slowly but surely realizing that Kendra was hurting him is so powerful, and I thank you for that.

I’m so happy for you Anon 💚💚

It’s good to see these patterns, and depending on how toxic the relationship is, to speak up for yourself, or cut the person out, if they are unwilling to change.

Kindness is often a tool used by manipulators. But the biggest thing to ask yourself is exactly what you saw. Is this person only nice to me when they need something from me? And if so, then this isn’t real kindness. Good for you for knowing your worth!!

⚠️

sa related ask and discussions of very toxic relationships…

Personal experience rambling below. Toxic friendship and sa mention.

I’ll only be discussing this once, here, in this post. So I’m afraid if I get anyone asking for further info, I’m not going to reply /lh

I’m very sorry for what you’ve gone through. I hope you can find what you need to heal. Everyone’s traumas are so different, so please if you can, and haven’t already, speak to a professional that will give you help catered to you.

But I do want to immediately answer your question and say, yes, I have healed, for the most part. It took a lot of work and self-reflection that I didn’t want to do, because it was scary. But when I finally talked to someone, and realized I needed to take action in order to heal, that was when the process started.

For years, I thought my only options were to suffer in silence, and that what happened to me was my own fault, because towards the end, I was consenting. But I didn’t understand how my mindset and self worth had become so twisted.

My person (let’s call him J) was one of my best friends growing up. But as he got older, and more interested in…mature things, he changed. J would only ever agree to hang out together unless I offered to give him something to make it worth his while. Eventually I started to think these acts were all I was good for, as that’s all that made him happy to be around me. Pretty soon, J didn’t even have to push the ideas onto me. He only had to act uninterested or busy, and I would sit there and beg to do whatever he wanted.

The idea of rejection grew to be so painful and terrifying as he was one of only two friends that I had (the other being his sister. So if I lost one, I was so scared to lose the other). And I’d recently lost one of my closest childhood friends. Which he often used her cutting contact with us in his manipulations as well.

(It wasn’t until years later that she contacted me through Facebook and revealed that it was J that made her feel too uncomfortable, and as she already lived two hours away from us, and only visited once a year, it was just easier for her to cut off contact. I don’t blame her now, but without that knowledge, the thought that it was something I did, only helped J manipulate me.)

As I grew older, and I got better friends, I started to learn just how much I’d been pushed into only ever doing what he wanted, and how one sided of a relationship it was. He moved away, and that distance I was so scared of became a reality. But it was the best thing to ever happen. I still wonder what would’ve happened if he’d stayed in town. If we might’ve gotten married or if I would’ve finally stood up for myself. But all that matters is he is gone. There is always the danger of him coming home and me seeing him—we were neighbors, so his parents and mine still live right next door. Holidays can be kind of a high stress time lol.

That cafe comic is actually probably the most therapeutic piece out of the whole Kendratello AU I’ve done, as it’s always been a fear of mine that I could just turn around and he’d be in town visiting lol. Sending Kendra through that portal was highly cathartic. But even if that were to happen now, I have my coping skills, and I’m in a much better headspace. I think I would be able to handle myself.

I’m still a people pleaser, I don’t think that’s ever going to go away, even with all the work I’ve done. The biggest thing is, I know I’m worth more now. I can see real kindness, and catch the fake stuff much better by looking for those same toxic signs. The real friendships I’ve made have shown me what connection is truly like. It’s not a one-sided negotiation every time you get together. And if it is, then it’s probably not a healthy give and take. I’ve healed, but it is a constant effort.

Every new person sets off some kind of anxiety in the back of my head, but I don’t let that fear control how our relationship will develop. I’ve got the final say in what happens and what I get out of it.

[sturnioloshacker]

argument apologies - a matt sturniolo short

a/n: requested by @stupendousoperatorwolfathlete; lowercase intended

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL FICTIONAL! MATT WOULD NEVER EVER DO THIS TO THIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER! PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT TO HEART!

cw: very angsty but has a fluffy ending

summary: a heated argument results in physical contact

in the dimly lit living room, matt and i are engaged in a heated argument. the tension thickened with every exchanged word until, in a moment of frustration, matt's hand swung accidentally, making contact with my cheek. time seemed to freeze as shock registered on both our faces. stunned, i recoiled and fled to the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind me. i lean back against the door, holding my cheek as i slide down the door in tears. why did he do that? what caused him to do that? i said nothing to offend him. it’s his fault that i’m pissed off. 

the tears haven’t stopped. i’m so angry and upset right now, it’s going to take a lot to get me to be happy again. i silence my flowing waterworks when i hear footsteps inching closer to the bathroom door. then it’s complete silence. am I hearing things? after what felt like an eternity, i hear a gentle knock, signalling matt’s remorse and guilt. 

“baby, i’m so sorry. can you please let me in so i can explain?”

i hesitated but opened the bathroom slightly, coming face to face with the boy who i adore but who also just broke my heart. matt’s eyes mirrored regret as he spoke.

“i never meant for any of this. i let my anger get the best of me, and i’m truly sorry."

“i’m really hurt, matt. not just physically but mentally and emotionally. i can’t believe you chose to hit me. what did i do to deserve that, huh?” i say, tears still streaming down my face.

“i should never have raised my hand, and i promise it will never happen again. i care about you, and i can't stand the thought of hurting you. i can’t stand the thought of arguing with you either. i hate both of those with a passion. i’m so fucking sorry, my love. if you need more time to yourself, i understand. but i really am so sorry.”

i felt a sense of sincerity in his voice as he spoke, his own eyes welling with tears. he begins to walk away from the bathroom, wanting to give me space, but not before looking back with a sad smile on his face. i close the bathroom door, conflicted at the situation i’m in. i love the boy with every fibre of my being, i really do, but he stepped over the boundary line. i don’t know what to do. i decide to message nick and chris and get their opinion.

y: guys, i have a problem

n: everything okay? 

c: is it matt? is it you? what happened?

y: long story short, matt hit me during an argument, he apologised but now i don’t know what to do

n: what a fucking idiot!

c: dickhead

y: okay, okay calm down please! i don’t want this ruining your relationship with your brother

n: so he apologised?

y: yes

c: i reckon you should talk to him. he just messaged me a whole essay about your situation and he’s really upset and defeated by it

n: i agree with chris for once. he’s not going to let it go until you forgive him. he loves you so much, he really does

y: i’ll go talk it out with him. thanks guys 💕

i head to matt’s room, knocking on the door. being told to come in, i slowly make my way in. i gasp at the view in front of me. tissues sprawled everywhere, a sweater of mine on the floor and his figure curled up on his bed. 

“matt, please look at me.” i whisper, picking up my sweater from the floor.

matt slowly looks up at me, his eyes all red and cheeks puffy. his lips are all swollen from the tears he wept. 

“oh matty”, i sigh, another load of tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

“baby, i-“

“shh, shh, shh. it’s okay, bub. i forgive you. one argument and one slap isn’t going to destroy our relationship. i love you way too damn much to let some lame argument get in the way of what we have.”

“oh thank god. i love you so much, thank you for forgiving me. can i get a hug?”

“of course you can.”

i lean into his embrace, only to be pulled in closer. the hug is gentle yet full of love. i feel matt’s fingers lightly scratch my back while i play with matt’s hair, our fingers dancing along their respective areas. i look up at the boy, my heart beating super fast at the adoration and pure love i have for him. i press my lips to his, the kiss igniting a fire deep inside us. that night, we fell asleep, cuddled up nice and close in each other’s arms. the world around us started moving again, everything was back to how it was and our relationship was still intact. 

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Caught In A Web ~ 25

CAUGHT IN A WEB MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,054ish

Summary: The aftermath of Tony hearing how you don't feel safe.

Notes: I'm going out of town this weekend, so this will be the last update until Monday or Tuesday. Hope you enjoy! And please share your thoughts, feelings, etc on it!

When Bucky woke up in the morning, he headed for the lab to check with Tony. He was shocked to find it destroyed. Natasha was in it cleaning up.

“What the hell happened?” He asked.

“Tony freaked,” Natasha answered, still cleaning up.

“I can see that. Why?”

Natasha sighed. “Y/N broke down about how she doesn’t feel safe, and Tony watched it over the cameras.”

“Shit.”

“Shit doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

“Where’s Tony now?”

“Well, I had put him to bed, but then he snuck out with the Iron Man suit. FRIDAY isn’t allowed to inform us as to his whereabouts.”

“Y/N can’t see this.”

“Why do you think I’m cleaning it up? I also have Wanda with her. She’s going to keep her asleep until the new glass arrives in an hour.”

“When are the rest of the Team arriving?”

“They’re close. I’m calling a Team meeting upon immediate arrival.”

“Good,” Bucky nodded. “Now, what can I help with?”

~~~

Steve had on his Captain persona; the others could tell by how his jaw was set and the way he was standing. He was standing in the front of the room at the end of the large conference table. Bucky, Sam, Vision, Bruce, Happy, Rhodey, and Natasha sat around the table. The others believed he was portraying himself as the Captain to help himself handle the situation.

“Will Wanda be joining us?” Happy asked.

“I asked her to stay with Y/N,” Natasha answered, “keeping her asleep until we figure something out.”

“Smart.”

“Has anyone found information on Tony’s whereabouts?” Steve questioned.

“No,” Rhodey replied. “I’m using some available military resources to track him. Nothing so far.”

“FRIDAY is still blocking any information on Tony,” Natasha added.

“We need a plan—multiple plans,” Steve stated. “First plan is security, for here and the Tower.” Aerial views of the Compound and the Tower appeared on the screen behind Steve. “I have agents lining the perimeters of both properties, pushing the press back. I have them across the river, preventing them from hiding in the trees.”

“I’ve contacted the military,” Fury stated as he barged into the room. “They are adding reinforcements.”

“Two of your Team members were down for weeks and now you decide to show your face.”

“I figured I’d let you guys simmer.” Fury went to the chair opposite Steve and sat down. “Clearly, you needed more time.”

“Besides extra military help, do you have any other information for us? Director?” Natasha’s voice was scarily calm, but her eyes were daggers pointed at Fury.

“Yes, in fact I do. Stark is in Malibu. He’s been at his old house site, cleaning it up. Surprised none of you thought to check there.”

“Someone should go to Malibu,” Steve stated.

“I’ll do it,” both Rhodey and Bucky offered. Everyone was shocked at Bucky’s words.

“Are you sure, Bucky?”

He shrugged. “Stark and I have been getting along lately. Plus, manual labor sounds like a good way to clear my head.”

“Rhodes, are you okay with that?”

“If Barnes feels like he can handle Tony, then by all means,” Rhodey replied. "Everyone here knows I’ve done my time.”

“Great, Barnes, you’re on Stark duty.”

Bucky nodded and stood up. “Wish me luck,” he said before leaving.

“I’ve called the therapists,” Bruce said. “They are on their way.”

“Good,” Steve nodded. “I’m going to be honest here, guys, I… I’m at a loss. This is something that I don’t have experience with. I want to help Tony and Y/N and lead the cause as your Captain, but I don’t know how.”

“You’re doing good, Captain,” Vision commented.

“Thanks, Viz. I wish I knew how to do more.”

“Y/N will need time,” Natasha said, “and we need to honor that. She’s not used to this life and may never be… Tony will need time, but we all know he can’t be alone for long. He plays it tough, but he is the one who cares most of all.” She sighed. “We’ll get them through this; I know it.”

~~~

You woke up in your room, alone. You felt well-rested, which was a surprise. Sitting up, you could tell that the room had been cleaned up. It was mid-morning, and you were surprised that Tony hadn’t come to check on you, maybe get you up for breakfast. You left your room and headed to the common room. You could hear the other Team members before you could see them. They were laughing and talking; it made you feel okay for a moment.

“Hey, Y/N,” Sam greeted the first one to notice you.

“Hey,” you replied, shooting him a smile. You walked over and sat next to Wanda on the couch. “I know what you did.”

“What did I do?” Wanda wondered, you missed the caution in her gaze.

“You helped me sleep. It’s the best night I’ve had in a while. Thank you.”

She smiled at you. “You’re welcome.”

You looked around and noted who was all there. Two people were missing. “Where’s Tony? And Bucky?” You didn’t fail to miss the looks the others shared. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Y/N,” Bruce came over and sat in front of you. “Tony’s in Malibu.”

“What? Why?”

He sighed, glancing at Natasha. “Y/N, he heard what you shared with Nat and Wanda.”

You gasped, unable to keep the tears at bay. “He did?”

“He was going to check on us,” Natasha began, coming to sit beside Bruce across from you. “Tony wanted to make sure that you were okay and heard everything.”

“No, no,” you shook your head. “He—“

“Y/N,” Natasha grabbed your hands, not caring if there was a chance her hands would get stuck to you. “Tony destroyed the lab and then disappeared. Fury found him in Malibu, and Bucky went to talk to him.”

“B—Bucky?”

“Bucky thinks he could talk to him,” Steve said.

“But… why did he run? Nat… why did he run away? He said he’d stay…” The emotions were taking control of you. “He promised… I knew he would take it hard… I didn’t think he’d run…” 

You broke down, and Bruce held you close. Natasha still had a hold of your hands and was now stuck to you. The others watched with great sadness at the sight. None of them knew how to fix this, but they would do everything possible to try.

~~~

Tony had pants and a tank top on as he cleaned up the weeds that littered what was left of his Malibu house. There was nothing but some cement foundation, but he would clean it all. He didn’t bring any of his tech besides the suit he used to fly there. When he decided to head there, he swung by a home improvement store to buy some needed tools. It wasn’t enough to get what Tony wanted done, but it would do the job for now. He just needed to do anything besides continuing to fail you.

When the quinjet landed, Tony failed to notice. Bucky lowered the ramp and leaned against the opening, watching Tony for a moment. It was clear to Bucky that Tony was running on fumes. Bucky had gone to the store to grab food and other necessities before he came to Malibu, knowing that Tony would need it. Eventually, Bucky walked to Tony, stopping not too far away. He watched Tony use a sledgehammer to try to break up the thick concrete.

“I don’t think you have the strength to break that concrete, Stark,” Bucky commented. Tony ignored him. “You’re going to hurt yourself. I don’t want to bring you back injured; everyone will think it's my fault.”

“Don’t care,” Tony murmured, continuing.

“Hey, come on, man.” 

Bucky’s metal hand caught the sledgehammer in mid-swing and easily pulled the tool from Tony’s hands. Tony’s arms slapped down against his thighs, and his shoulders shagged. Bucky had never seen this ever-so-confident man look so defeated. He was broken, and Bucky didn’t know how to put him back together.

“How’d you get stuck with this job?” Tony said, sitting down where he stood. “Rock paper scissors?”

“I, uh, I actually volunteered.”

Tony scoffed. “Really? We aren’t exactly friends, Barnes. That means I don’t have to listen to you.”

“And I don’t have to listen to you.”

Tony moved his jaw around before clenching it. “Did you bring anything to drink?”

Bucky cocked his head towards the quinjet. “There’s some lite beers in the quinjet.”

“Lite? Seriously?”

“I’m just thinking of your health.”

“Says the hundred-year-old man with a metal arm.”

Tony pushed himself from the ground, and the two men walked towards the quinjet. Bucky grabbed two cans of beer, handing one to Tony. They sat on opposite sides of the aircraft, opened their cans, and took a sip. Both of the men cringed at the taste.

“This is awful,” Tony commented before taking another sip. 

“The beer or this situation?” 

Tony took a moment before responding. “Both.”

“What’s your plan here? In Malibu? In running away?”

“This house used to be my safe place. Yes, it’s in Malibu, but still. No one just showed up, even the press. There were things in place here. I was allowed my privacy.”

“There’s no house here anymore.”

“Yeah, I let a terrorist know my home address.”

“Wow,” Bucky chuckled, shaking his head, “not a smart idea.”

“Tell me about it.” Tony finished off his drink, throwing the can to the side. 

“Y/N’s struggling.”

“I heard her struggle… every word.”

“So you ran away? Do you really think this will help?”

“Like I said, this used to be my safe place… I got in my suit and flew here. It was like I was on autopilot. Got some tools and started working.”

“On what, exactly?”

“Rebuilding. I’m going to rebuild this mansion. For me… For Y/N. It will be a place where she can feel safe. Away from the Avengers, the big city. I am going to make sure she has a safe place.”

“You left. You are her safe place, and you left.”

“Clearly, I’m not doing a good job at it… She doesn’t feel safe, Barnes. I don’t know if she’ll ever feel safe with me—with the life I live… I can’t go back until I have somewhere for her to go… This is my last shot, Barnes. My last hope… then I’ll let her go.”

“I don’t think Romanoff with stand for that, or the rest of the Team.”

“Well, they don’t get a say.”

Silence fell between the two men. Both of them were fighting different wars in their head. Tony stood up and grabbed the bag of tools that Bucky had brought.

“You can leave, Barnes,” he said, heading down the ramp. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

Bucky sighed, standing up and following the man. He took off his shirt, grabbed the sledgehammer, and hit the concrete, cracking it. Tony and Bucky shared a look of understanding before continuing to work.

~~~

“He what?” Steve was on the phone with Bucky. Natasha was pacing the room, trying not to listen in. “Seriously? Do the two of you need any help?”

“Help?” Natasha paused her pacing. “With what?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll grab Sam and Rhodey, and we’ll head there. See you soon.” Steve hung up.

“What is going on?”

“Uh… Tony’s rebuilding his Malibu mansion… by hand.”

“What? Why?”

“Bucky is saying that it’s for Y/N, for her safety. I think that it’s a distraction. Bucky wants Sam, Rhodey, and I to come and help.”

“What am I supposed to tell Y/N?”

“Honestly, Nat, I have no idea. I’ll try to get more serious information out of Tony, but for right now, here is probably the best place for her.”

“Wanda had to force her into a sleep to calm her down, Steve.”

“When she wakes, keep her distracted. Do something to help her feel safe, something that she can control.” Steve sighed. “We can only do so much to make her feel physically safe; there’s still mentally and emotionally. Make sure she’s visiting her therapist, and I’ll keep you updated on Tony… we’ll get them through it. I have to believe that, or there’s really no hope for the rest of us.”

next chapter >

[calliesmemes]

RANDOM DIALOGUE PROMPTS, ACT II

ASSORTED QUOTES FOUND IN FILMS, TELEVISIONS, MUSIC, AND LITERATURE.

CHANGE gendered words as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   A great force is asleep in you. ”

“   All I ever think about is you. ”

“   All I ever wanted was to know what to do. ”

“   Am I a good man? ”

“   Are you going to kill me? ”

“   Becoming the villain isn’t the answer. ”

“   Can you prove it to me? ”

“   Did you really think that I would ever let you go? ”

“   Do you regret taking the vow? ”

“   It was like a switch was flipped. ”

“   Fear cuts deeper than swords ”

“   Forgiveness is different from absolution. ”

“   Have I explained away any part of my guilt? ”

“   Help me. Remind me why I am here. ”

“   How many have died because of my actions? ”

“   How often will you repent? ”

“   How strange this is! What is the meaning of it? ”

“   I appreciate your concern. ”

“   I am beyond repentance. ”

“   I am destroying myself so other people can’t. ”

“   I am doing no injury to anybody but myself. ”

“   I am nothing if not merciful. ”

“   I am so glad to see you! ”

“   I believe you are perfectly right. ”

“   I can’t help but give in. ”

“   I cannot agree with you there. ”

“   I doubt I will be pleasant company. ”

“   I doubt everything, even my doubt. ”

“   I feel as though I have been living a long, long time. ”

“   I fought so hard to free you… ”

“   I have betrayed everyone and everything I know. ”

“   I have survived, but I have not been spared. ”

“   I have this grief and I don’t know why. ”

“   I will do whatever you ask. ”

“   I will not be a caged bird. I will fly free. ”

“   I played my part in the plan. ”

“   I pledge myself to your teachings. ”

“   I’m like a collection of paradoxes. ”

“   I’m sorry you were not truly loved and that it made you cruel. ”

“   I’m not too gone to be healed, am I? ”

“   I'm not everything I want to be, but I'm more than I was, and I'm still learning. ”

“   I’m restless and harsh and hopeless. ”

“   I’ll do all that I can to make things right. ”

“   If I cannot be loved, I must be feared. ”

“   Is everyone in danger as long as I’m alive? ”

“   Is this fair? Is this just? ”

“   Is this what you wanted? ”

“   It ends as it began. ”

“   It would be impossible, I know. ”

“   It’s not my fault — I’m not to blame! ”

“   It’s been a long time since I’ve been me. ”

“   I’ve started this storm; gotta stop it somehow ”

“   Money can only give happiness where there is nothing else to give it. ”

“   My intentions were not always wrong. ”

“   None of this is your fault. It’s me and my head. ”

“   No harm will come to you! ”

“   Life is full of tough choices. ”

“   Please remove your blade from my throat. ”

“   Pity comes too late! ”

“   Save me from these evil deeds. ”

“   Sorry is not enough. Sometimes you actually have to change. ”

“   That behavior is quite inexcusable. ”

“   The end justifies the means. ”

“   The path of hate is a dangerous track. ”

“   This can only end one way. ”

“   This is why you never should’ve left. ”

“   There’s a revolution coming. ”

“   There’s trouble for all when there’s trouble for one. ”

“   They are not to be trusted. ”

“   What do you mean? ”

“   What is this fighting all about? ”

“   Where were you when I was still kind? ”

“   Why are they all trying to make me into a saint? ”

“   Why can’t you see me? ”

“   Would you like to punish those who wronged you? ”

“   You can’t trust a single thing I say. ”

“   You can’t run from this! ”

“   You changed me. You should remember me. ”

“   You did not mean to be cruel. That does not mean that you were kind. ”

“   You don’t have to make a sound. ”

“   You have been loyal to a greater cause. ”

“   You know what’s best for me. ”

“   You were born for this. ”

“   You’ll always be a slave. ”

“   Your offer is meaningless. ”

“   You’re the one that I need. ”

“   You’re not as brave as you may seem. ”

“   You’ve gone too far! ”

[kiirotoao]

I keep getting asked what I’d like to see / theories for s5, so I’m listing them here!

(In blurb form because I have too many lol)

MORE. WILLEL. OR. DEATH. I’d particularly love some parallels from s1, maybe Will talking to El in the void or something? Because

Will has powers!! I’d love to see him have some kind of time/energy/electrical/celestial powers to mirror his Will the Wise persona

JOPPER WEDDING OR DEATH ALSO THIS IS A NON NEGOTIABLE DUFFERS

Robin being a BAMF and impressing Vickie or vice versa (I’m currently more sold on Robin being the BAMF because if switched that’s just Ronance. Which also. Ronance endgame please and thank you???)

Stonathan endgame or at least bonding. Can you tell that the CGI snippets made me insane

Flickergate duh

Pocketgate!!! And specifically Mike confessing to Will, Will thinking it’s too good to be true, then Mike pulling out the letter to prove it in dear desperation

Based on the “6 little nuggets” anecdote, I think Steve might unfortunately be toast because he has his dream with The Party, y’know

There will be a dragon of some sort based on Will’s painting? Maybe like Vecna, the Mind Flayer, and the demogorgons will combine into one big ugly creature to defeat? Dramatic but I have no idea

The spores might also be more lethal and infect people? Or maybe cause widespread hallucinations? They were everywhere in that finale and that cannot be healthy. Yes I know that Hopper and Dustin didn’t suffer any side effects of them in s2 but Vecna’s still alive so I think maybe they could become a new force

I believe in the Kas theory! But not for Eddie. I’m between Kas being Will, El, or Mike

I hope that Nancy doesn’t end up with anyone or it’s implied that she, Steve, and Jonathan, are happy being single for that time until they completely understand themselves and what they want

Vecna appearing in nightmares!! I’d love to see the subconscious come into play and it would serve to flesh out our main cast even more than they already are (especially Mike Wheeler and his internal gay crisis)

Jonathan, Mike, Lucas, Erica, and Murray in the Upside Down please!! They have never been that’s why, and no, I don’t count the tunnels in s2 because they didn’t flip upside down to enter those so I don’t think it was quite the Upside Down

Full and integrated Hopper-Byers family scene at the end of the season. Like them playing Monopoly or something or just existing together in the same house. Being happy. Please dear God.

Will coming out to his mom or Jonathan or Dustin or Lucas or anyone, really

EVERYBODY WANT TO RULE THE WORLD BY TEARS FOR FEARS preferably in the ending scene but anywhere would suffice and I’m not saying this just because I love this song but the lyrics literally fit so well I don’t think I’ll recover if his song isn’t in s5

A gate may exist at the library - it’s in the center of the earthquake and it’s where Will was taken in s1. I think Henry may want to destroy it because it contains so much information

I’d love a s2 parallel where Lucas talks to his dad again. Maybe about Max, maybe about all the stress, something. More sweet parent moments

Based off of the Byler fights in episodes 3 (s3) and 2 (s4), I think maybe they’ll fight again in s5e1?

And then resolve by s5e5

Wherein Heros (Bowie’s og version) will play when Mike and Will kiss

I just really really want Dustin being the lord of the demodogs. Like d’Art returns and recognizes Dustin and they help to fight against Vecna like fighting fire with fire it’d be so epic you see the vision right?

I’d love to see a return of Kali!! Either as a friend or villain recruited/controlled by Vecna it’d be pretty cool either way

Max lives. Period

[slickchickchocolatier]

man tell me about heelel being down bad im up for that 🤒😫😩

Broooo… let me begin by saying that heelel…he’s like the most dangerous heelead (because of who he is…you know… 😈) but the dude has spent his entire life (aside from the time he served under God as the first arch angel) he had become the master of torture and gruesome death. (Remember what he did to that succubus?) just think of an immortal being so hateful and disgruntled, just releasing all sorts of demons onto the universe and wanting to destroy humanity in the most horrific manner…and then he sees you. YOU.

Heelel is the type to….

- never beg. You will always be the one to beg, and he loves it. Whether you’re begging him to stop or keep going, it’s all the same to him. Because he is so obsessed with ever ounce of emotion and expression you give out, he wants to see all sides and angles of you (like all the heeleads) but heelel is a bit more brutal about it since he’s so dang powerful.

- dress you in whatever he wants to see you in (which is anything sheer or barely covering you bc he loves to see you as bare as possible. (Remember the later chapters of Se7en?)

- loves to see you cry and laugh. He’ll gladly be the cause of your tears and the cure for them. But lord help the one who becomes the cause….thats a huge death penalty (and not a good one) for whomever hurts you or makes you upset in any way. Even if it’s the tiniest bit. If someone stepped on your foot and you simply say “ouch” man’s eyes would grow sinisterly wide, mouth would split in the corners (like a joker smile) and he’d develop a very eerie smile while he does something terrible to that person. Even if it was an accident, he’d be so merciless. And it could be anywhere from burning that person from the inside out, slowly splitting them open (starting with the feet) or skinning them alive…the possibilities of torture is endless. The only thing that could save that person, is you…only you. And even then (depending on the degree of the offense) he might honor your request. He might…it will be hard to contain him bc anyone who hurts you is a dead man or woman.

-will get you whatever you want. I made the reader kind of vague because every reader is different, but whether youre the type that loves material things or simple values that nature can provide like flowers, he will get it for you. No matter what it is. If you want a garden, he’ll create a planet just covered in all types of beautiful lush plants and flowers, and will take you there every day and night so you can enjoy it to your hearts content. The only thing he won’t give to you is if you want to see friends or family, bc he wants to keep you all to himself and in his mind, you shouldn’t need to see anyone since you have him. Insisting on this would lead to a punishment that you do not want. Man is selfish and is going to keep you all to himself. Whether you want it that way or not. He’s unapologetic about it to.

- even though he won’t share you with anyone, he likes to show you of. You’re his queen, his goddess, his Aphrodite. He is going to flare you off like a diamond ring.

-will be so rough with you if you’re resisting or not making him happy. Just behave and do what he says, which is to sit, look pretty for him, and let him love you…eventually you will love him back no matter what

-when he isn’t rough and teaching you a lesson, man is as smooth as the finest silk. I usually pictured him normally doing the nasty with reader and being kind of a menacing and taunting bastard. For instance, I didn’t end up including this in the actual series, but thought about it (maybe I’ll make a short piece of it?) but I had imagined a scenario when after he took reader back to Hell with him, he was having a ‘session’ with reader (bc he loves you too much to not keep his hands off you) so while being on top and restraining your wrists with one hand, I had imagined reader looking away and sobbing. He calmly says “look at me.” And when reader looks up, he had a creepy face moment (kind of similar to the one that I attached in the story…but worse) like his iris shrink and become like small beads and the sclera is expanded, and he forms a very scary smirk. If I could draw it out, I would. It is fucking creepy and the most horrific thing you’ll ever see as it scares you so bad, you almost feel your heart stop beating. Reader turns her face away and screams and squirms, and he’ll just laugh it off and continue (heelel is sadistic and since he has the ability to alter his face like that….lets just say he likes to scare you and make you feel uncomfortable). But as time goes on he kind of tames down a bit and doesn’t do it as much, or not at all. By now (since Se7en is over a year old now…I believe) he’s at the stage where he likes to see you smile and happy more than ever. Once in a while he still wants to see you cry or fearful, but that’s become a reservation. For when you misbehave. Now, all he can focus on is how beautiful you are when you smile, how lovely your laugh sounds, and how much he just wants to hold on to you and talk to you about the moon and the stars, and create constellations for you while you both lay in bed recovering from an intense orgasm.

-heelel loves your long hair. I pictured him being into long hair. When you’re sitting by his feet and resting your face against his thigh while he’s sitting f on his throne, he’ll having a piece of your hair and play with it delicately. His fingers will rub the strands together so he can feel how silky and smooth it is. One of the things he loves seeing is your nipple piercings poking through your hair as it lays against your breasts. Makes him go feral.

-he loves your eyes. Despite you becoming immortal, heelel will never allow you to gain abilities to shapeshifter or alter your appearance like he can. He won’t allow it. He loves the way you are and will never permit for you to gain the magical ability to change the color of your eyes, hair, or the natural style/state it is in. He loves the way you are, and you are going to stay that way for him. Even if you have insecurities, don’t matter. Whatever body issues you have, he loves them and if you haven’t learn to embrace them, he will force the issue in a way. He won’t let you change, he wants you to be the very same way he saw you the first time, forever.

-all it takes is a look. A single look. If you look at him the wrong way (or the right) intentionally or not, he’ll get ready really quick and is going to want you so bad…to the point where it hurts.

- heelel just loves the hell out of you. Would sever his own limbs for you. If it made you happy to stab him repeatedly, he’d just stand there and let you while laughing. He obviously cannot die, and while he continues to bleed and rejuvenate, he’ll wait until you’re so tired and you slowly fall to your knees as you stab him one last time. He’ll brush off his shoulders and leans down to pick you up and stand you straight again, and say something like “feel better?” At that point, you’re doomed. Bc whether you answer or not, he’ll be like “good. My turn.” And he’s going to do a lot of stabbing…but not with a knife. 😏

- everything you do turns him on. So expect to be f*cked (both brutally and softly…like vanilla smex) and filled up (he’s not wasteful. You’re either going to swallow it with your vagina or your mouth, either way, you’re going to be a cream filled doughnut by the time he gets down with you.) and he will do this multiple times a day, won’t really care if you’re sore. If you e been good, he’ll give you a break and take you out and about.

-he loves your wings and will play with the small black portion in the undercarriage of your wing. That is a small part of him that reflects from within you, and he loves that.

- his favorite past time hobby is to have you both naked, you straddled on his lap (sometimes stuffed with his d*ck, sometimes just having it rested against your tummy) and his arms are wrapped around your waist as he’s sucking and kissing your tits. He loves that. He’ll squeeze your buttcheeks and massage them from time to time, while his mouth never breaks free from your areolas. Like…they’ll become super tender and sore with how long he’ll make you sit there and let him caress each one with his tongue. Even if you ask him a question, he’ll talk with his mouth full of your breast and his eyes will be peacefully closed while he does it. Like he’s just relishing in the moment.

- he also loves slow dancing with you. As you both are dancing under the large moon, he’ll constantly rub his hand on the side of your neck, gently pushing your hair aside and will lick, kiss, bite, and smell it. He’ll press his lips against the skin and will say “I love you…more than I could ever love anything else. You’re all that I never knew I needed in life. The only one that can heal me, but also be the death of me.”

-he’s very tormenting. Don’t let the last chapters of the series fool you, he has his tender moments (and when he’s tender…he is just…perfection) but when he is being ‘playful’ and just has that “you haven’t cried in a while…kind of want to see it again.” And will do whatever it is to make you cry, usually it’s to scare you (then comfort you afterwards) or to give you some pain that’s all in the line of pleasure. Something like biting you hard on your inner thigh or pounding you to the point where he’s poking your brain. Stuff like that.

But yeah, those are some examples off the top of my head lol. Heelel is amenace. But you’ll always be safe and loved by him.

[randomshit657]

I’m going to be talking about OCD and Intrusive thoughts, and very briefly religious trauma. And maybe slight disordered eating. If that will bother you please skip.

Okay so I know that many people aren’t going to see this but if even one person sees this and maybe learns something I’ll be happy.

Okay so I have OCD, and that’s kind of what I want to talk about. I promise you I’m not trauma dumping just listen for a moment.

I’ve known I had OCD since I was in 4th grade but it never really felt like I actually had it because of all the stereotypes surrounding it.

I never needed to keep everything perfectly clean or check things multiple times or any of that. It took me years to actually accept I had it because of these stereotypes. Instead I just felt crazy or wrong or bad, and I don’t want anyone to feel that.

I thought that mine wasn’t that severe so it didn’t mean anything. Trust me it does. If you’ve been diagnosed or think you have it, I would highly recommend getting therapy because trust me you don’t want it to get bad.

Anyway I’m here to talk about some things about OCD. Starting with the intrusive thoughts.

I don’t think the intrusive thoughts that come with OCD are really discussed enough when in reality they are the reasons for the compulsions.

First things first intrusive thoughts aren’t “I want to dye my hair at 3 am.” That’s an impulsive thought there a huge difference, and I’m not trying to attack you for using intrusive thoughts in that context especially if you didn’t know the difference, but it’s important you know the difference and you the terms in the proper context.

And I say this because if people start believing intrusive thoughts are things you actually want to do but just do impulsively it’s going to cause a huge problem especially for people with OCD.

If you have OCD your intrusive thoughts can be terrible, awful things. That they don’t want to do. Let me repeat that people with OCD don’t want to do their intrusive thoughts hence the compulsions because their brain convinces them that whatever they do will stop the thoughts.

But those thoughts are just something impulsive you want to do they are a lot of the time truly disturbing things. Sometimes these thoughts will get so bad people with lock themselves in their houses because they are scared of hurting someone. When I’m actuality these people are the least likely to actually act on these thoughts.

Now let’s get onto compulsions. When most people think of compulsions they think of hand washing or having to do something a certain amount of times but we’ll that can be the case from some people those aren’t the only types of compulsions.

For example reassurance seeking can be a compulsion. Asking your friends things like “Am I a bad person?” Or “Do you still love me?” or whatever your intrusive thoughts are telling you.

I’m going to explain a few of mine because I would say mine aren’t as well known. For instance waking up every morning and the first thing I have to think being “Today is the day the world will end.” Because I was always told god would destroy it when I least expected it so now if I don’t repeat it every morning I’m on edge all day.

Or not being able to stomach anything that isn’t labeled gluten free or made by me, I also cant eat unless I know I can go home after on the off chance some gluten made it’s way into it and I get sick.

The last one I’m going to mention is being overly nice to everyone at school. I would have such vivid thoughts about someone hurting people at school that even if this person was a huge jerk I would be nice to them or go out of my way to complement them because that would somehow fix thing.

The point is compulsions come in all shapes and forms and OCD is rarely logical, but it doesn’t change the fact that it feels logical. Just because you don’t fit a the stereotype doesn’t mean you don’t have it. It’s important to know that because with everything else your probably going through with this disorder you don’t need denial on your plate aswell.

It’s important to try and get help for this disorder because honestly it can be scary, and can cause a hole pile of other issues. But if you can’t here are some pointers.

1. Do your best to not participate in the compulsions. Now this won’t be easy at all and that doesn’t mean they’ll go away but they’ll be easier to manage. Trust me. I was forced to break one from sheer in ability of not being able to do it and it sucked but I was happier than I had been in months after I got through that.

2. Remember the intrusive thoughts aren’t you, and tell your brain that to.

3. I know it sounds silly and might not help everyone it i know for me kind of talking to my brain like a child works. Like “I know what you are feeling is very real but why don’t we try watching tv for a bit and see if you still want to do it then. Okay?” And then just try and distract yourself. It’s not fool proof but you know.

4. Just remember you’re stronger than you think. I know it’s hard and some days are really going to suck. But as hard as it is you can work through it. It won’t go away but it will become easier.

Anyway that’s it. I know this is a little rambely but I hope it gets the point across.

[snicker-doodles]

MLC AU Part 2

a continuation of the previous MLC AU Part 1

------------------

Imagine Li Xiangyi still feeling guilty about everything so he ran away after everything was over because he’s afraid Di Feisheng would hate him when he got his memory back

Imagine DFS finally getting his memory back and ended up being the one chasing LXY around so they can get married cause for him his beloved can do no wrong and he just doesn’t give a fuck

However, what if LXY truly belive that DFS is after him for revenge, so everytime DFS found LXY, somehow he always tried to avoid him, over and over again

“Di Mengzhu, I don’t mind talking to you but after we solve this case ok?” but he would always run away the moment the case is solved

What if everytime DFS managed to corner him, LXY would always find an excuse, because he’s afraid to face DFX, not because he’s afraid of death, but because he genuinely feels guilty about almost killing him and what happened to DFS for the last decade, and he truly believe DFS would never forgive him for that, cause after all, he knew that freedom is what matters most to DFS

What if LXY simply couldn’t bear to hear DFS say that he doesn’t love him anymore or that he hates him, so he chose to run, without knowing that DFS truly never blamed him and genuinely just want to spend the rest of his days with LXY

Imagine after all those time seeing LXY looking so sad and miserable in his presence, but could actually laugh happily when he’s with other people like Qiao Wanmian or even with Zhan Yunfei and Yun Biqiu who clearly had poisoned him at some point, DFS finally started to think that maybe, maybe LXY truly doesn’t love him anymore, that maybe he truly think that DFS no longer deserves to be with him after knowing everything about his past

Imagine DFS finally decided to give up, cause after all, isn’t Xiangyi’s happiness and wellbeing the most important thing? and if his presence wound ruin all that, then maybe he should just leave him alone after all

Imagine DFS spending his days drinking his sorrows away without realizing that Jiao Liqiao was still out there following his every move, waiting for her chance

What if JLQ managed to poison his wine, captured him, and then severed all his tendons to make sure that DFS would never run away from her ever again

Imagine DFS just stayed put without even trying to get away, after all, he has already been freed from the mind-controlling bug then destroyed the Di fortress and took his revenge, so what else is left for him in this world? without his Xiangyi, why should he care about life anymore

After sometime, imagine LXY started to feel that something is wrong, wehere is A Fei? Didn’t he keep on perstering him for the last couple of months? Where did he go? Did he feel like LXY is not worth the trouble and just decided to leave? No, its not like him, DFS would always finish what he started, if he want revenge, he would definitely get it, so why? Where is he?

Imagine LXY finally started to investigate and managed to find that JLQ took DFS away

Imagine LXY managed to find her hideout and saw what she did to DFS

Imagine LXY feeling an intense fury like never before, and in his rage, he slaugthered JLQ and every single one of her underlings, then proceeded to raze the whole fortress to the ground

After all of that, imagine DFS feeling confused, didn’t he hate me? Then why?

What if these two foolish men finally got around and actually talk to each other while LXY used his yangzhouman to help heal DFS

What if LXY finally decided to stop running and just face the music, but first let me heal you ok A Fei? After, I’ll listen to everything that you want to say to me, and if you want to kill me, that would be fine too, I won’t run away anymore

Imagine DFS feeling so incredulous thinking, Xiangyi what the hell? Why would I ever hate you let alone want to kill you? none of it is your fault! ok, maybe that day we could’ve talk first instead of just started to fight, but I was also at fault for not trying to explain myself and just feeling angry and jealous because you keep on talking about your damn shixiong! I know you no longer have feelings for me and refuses to be anywhere near me after you found out about my past, I know I’m not good enough for you, but I love you, and I will always do till the day I die

Imagine LXY feeling so regretful for not trying to properly investigate and just simply confronted DFS back then, and feeling so stupid to ever doubt his A Fei’s love for him, and really A Fei, what the hell? Why would I ever stop loving you? I was just feeling guilty, what do you mean you’re not good enough for me? I’m the one who’s not good enough for you! We were young then, but I should’ve known better now, I’m sorry, for everything that I put you through, and I do love you, always, since that first day when you came to challenge me, there’s been no one else but you

Imagine LXY finally brought DFS back with him to Sigu Sect and everyone was all, oh, you boys have finally figured it out? Thank heavens

[caker-baker]

Babble

The villain dodged the chair that was thrown at them.

For the state that they were in, the hero was unusually strong.

“We’re not doing this again, are we, starling?”

“Let me go and we won’t have to!”

The villain sighed and set down the tray of food, readying themselves in a fighting stance.

“Come on then.” They invited. “Get it out of your system.”

There was no fight to be had, not really. The hero was powerless now, and while they had slightly above average strength, they still couldn’t hold a candle to the villain’s. It didn’t help that the villain had a speed and grace that the hero never had, even before the loss of their powers.

“Are you done?” The villain asked, pinning the hero to the wall.

“Screw you!” The hero barked out, breathing heavily from the fight.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” They released the hero. “We need to run more tests today. I think I’m close to deciphering what entered your bloodstream. Once that’s done, I’ll reverse it, you’ll go back to your old self, everyone’s happy.”

“I don’t need your tests. And I don’t want this sick version of help!”

“Yes, because you wandering deliriously in the street doesn’t warrant a need for help. Could you imagine if some civilian had found you babbling on about your heroic identity?”

“I’m not delirious anymore, and I don’t babble! Let me leave.”

The villain crossed their arms. “You know the conditions, starling. I fix you, you tell me how it happened, then you can go.”

Huffing, the hero sat on their provided bed. “Go to hell. I’m not telling you anything.”

“Then you’re not leaving.”

“And you’re not running anymore tests, Villain. You hear me? I’m tired of it.”

One could almost feel it when a villain became angry, something in the air itself changed, becoming thicker, a storm readying to destroy.

“It isn’t up for debate, starling. We need to figure this out.”

“No, we don’t.” The hero’s voice was cold. “I’m done being a hero.”

That thoroughly shocked the villain, though they would never show it.

“No.” They said simply. “No, you’re not.”

“That isn’t for you to decide.”

“It is when you’re in my care. Eat. I don’t want you lightheaded when I run the blood test.”

“I said I won’t do it. Consider this my retirement plan.”

The villain scoffed. “Being pathetic and powerless is your retirement plan? Come now, starling–”

“You don’t get it.” The hero stood. “You’ve never had to deal with this, you’ve never understood the strain of being a telepath. I don’t want my powers back.”

There was an eerie silence as the villain put two and two together.

“You did this to yourself.” They knew better than to phrase it as a question. “You took away your own powers.”

The hero didn’t look at the villain. “I wasn’t supposed to end up on the street. It wasn’t supposed to make me delirious. You weren’t supposed to find me.”

“But I did, and you better be grateful to have someone willing to fix this for you and not let you burn in the fire of your own mistake. Do you know how easy it would be for me to find out who you are? Your friends? Family? What if I wanted revenge? Consider yourself lucky that I don’t.”

“Then what do you get out of this?”

The villain didn’t answer that. “I’m sorry that telepathy’s caused you such pain, but you don’t get to quit. That’s not fair to the people who depend on you. Eat. I won’t ask again.”

It was a fight when the villain drew blood, another struggle when they tried to inject the new serum into the hero.

And in the end, the hero cried from voices that were never their own.

[king-paimon]

Houseki no Kuni Chapter 101 Thoughts: Paradise Broken

Well... This was an interesting way to celebrate my birthday early.

I’m just going to jump right into this before I forget anything since...wow. I have some thoughts about this chapter. As always, please feel free to share your own thoughts and theories in the post! And sorry again if this ends up being long! This may turn out a bit messy, so when I get the chance, I’ll come back and make it pretty!

Paradise Shattered: Reality Setting In 

So it looks like one of my theories from the previous chapter was correct to a degree. The little rocks do in fact contain remnants of humanity, and it’s this revelation that caused Phos to react the way they did in the previous chapter. And despite telling the little rocks that their reaction was out of happiness, their thoughts clearly indicate otherwise.

But what I didn’t expect was the revelation that a bit of the old Phos (as well as humanity) was still there inside of their new form and it may have influenced this new world in ways that Phos didn’t expect or want.

This new revelation has once again put Phos in a emotional spiral. After finally extinguishing what was left of humanity for everyone’s sake, but mostly their own, and after finally finding happiness with these little rocks... there’s a new chance that they will come back. And that’s the last thing Phos wants. 

Phos doesn’t want any reminders of humanity to come back, whether they be in the rocks or themselves. They don’t want humanity or the suffering that goes along with it. Phos had finally found paradise, or what they convinced themselves was their “paradise,” and now there was a chance that it’d come back. Of course Phos isn’t going to be happy. It seems that once again, their goal for happiness was moved again, even though the pebble thinks otherwise.

With this in mind, I want to hear your thoughts on this. Isn’t it just me or doesn’t it feel that Phos’s interaction with the pebble after this feel... off? In the previous chapter, Phos seemed genuinely happy to be around with the pebble and was having fun but thoughtful talks with them. But now, after fully realizing that humanity is not fully gone and lives on inside them and the rock beings, Phos seems rather cold, giving small and delayed answers.

Maybe I’m looking too into this observation, but I definitely think it’s deliberate. And why this might not be a good thing will be elaborated further down. The only exception was Phos’s comment to the pebble’s comment about Phos’s happiness “going on forever.” I will come back to that in moment.

Before that, I need to talk about... THAT.

“THAT”: The Creature’s True Identity Theory

This was the first image I saw when raw leaks started popping up. At first, I thought the same as some of the other viewers asking myself “What the hell is that? Is that a new species?” But the more I thought about it, I came to this conclusion. No. That isn’t a new species. That’s Phos. Or another part of them that survived.

 I’ll do my best to explain my reasoning.

Recall many chapters ago, back when Phos was destroyed by the Earth gems and put away for many years to then result with Adamant putting most of them back together. Many parts of them were missing that he didn’t get to add before being confronted, including their remaining Lapis Lazuli eye. That part Adamant kept. The other eye was the synthetic pearl eye that Aechmea put in on the moon and the missing Lapis eye was replaced with Adamant’s eye.

And recall after after being mostly put together, Phos transforms into an unrecognizable creature that is held together and driven by pure, unadulterated anger and despair. 

Their transformation only intensifies after they return to the moon.Now I don’t know about you, but doesn’t their initial “berserk” form during these scenes seem very similar to the one eyed creature? And I find it interesting that the eye was not accounted for after Adamant disintegrated and after the descendants of humanity were (mostly) wiped out.

There are a few things that could disprove this theory, with the main one being the fact that I don’t know what the tendrils coming off the creature is made of. They don’t look like the gold alloy that Phos used to use. They look fibrous and organic. The droplets dripping off them look like alloy but I’m certain it’s water. This could be enough to prove that this creature is just another thing that formed over time like the little rock beings. But for the sake of this post, I’ll stick with this theory because I have another revelation that revolves around it.

Now, if this eye creature is part of Phos, what exactly is it and why is it attacking the rocks? I hypothesize that this creature is somewhat of a manifestation of Phos’s newly reawaken negative feelings towards humanity. Like how Phos turned into a puddle in the last chapter, this creature is clearly something new that hasn’t been witnessed before in this new world. I think Phos’s newly ignited negative thoughts about humanity had re-awoken this side of themselves, maybe through their inclusions, and had subsequently “given birth” to this new creature through the eye Adamant kept. This could be a farfetched idea, but after Phos came to the realization that they may have unintentionally influenced their new world because of the remaining piece gem inside them, it could be possible. 

With this theory in mind, this leads me to another theory that I’m sad to say isn’t a good one.

Edit to add: Thank you @aspirationatwork​ and @modern-alebrije​ for your comments on this post! I’m glad I’m not the only one who believes that eye belonged to Phos. But you made a good point, modern. I saw another post explaining why the eye could be Adamant’s “older brother” and I think the OP’s reasons make a lot of sense! Ooh, this is very interesting... I hope the final reveal will be good.

Phos Wasn’t Fine After All... Time To Try Again?? 

Phos’s thought process through this chapter has sadly confirmed something I hoped wasn’t true. Before this and the previous chapter, I wanted to believe that Phos was finally moving on and that they had found peace with themselves. But after everything that happened up until this point, it’s more than clear that they didn’t. They hadn’t healed or moved on. The unfortunate truth is that Phos had just put on a metaphorical band-aid on their true feelings in the form of their little pebble friends and had instead tried to ignore those and hope for the best. Just like how the old gems used to deal with their issues. 

So even after everything Phos learned and experienced through their own and other’s suffering, it seems old habits die hard.

And speaking of old habit... Phos’s dialogue in the last few pages are concerning.

What Phos said here to the pebble was ominous especially considering their change in tone and demeanor.  And if my theory about the one eyed creature being a manifestation of Phos’s negative thoughts are correct...then I fear that the rocks aren’t going to exist for much longer. Because if Phos’s desire for humanity to stay gone becomes their new “wish,” I’m afraid this could mean that the rocks are going to be destroyed, and I think Phos is going to allow that to happen.

I’m sure that’s a fate fans don’t want to see happen to these little rocks. I mean, come on: they didn’t do anything to Phos. They are just little rocks who are enjoying their simple lives and Phos’ company. The only thing they are “guilty” of is containing remnants of humanity inside them, just like Phos.

But that reason might be enough for Phos. 

It would be kind of messed up for Phos to allow these rocks to be destroyed for that reason after everything that Phos went through and how desperate they seem to want to get away from any reminder of the descendants of humanity...it might not be that surprising. They are kind of an expert at this point after all.

EDIT: This is all just a theory though! After stepping back for a few hours, I see how REALLY farfetched it is. It was the first thing that popped in my head after re-reading the chapter, and I admit it was far more cynical than I originally thought. I read another poster’s view of these events as Phos fearing that they may harm the rocks and they don’t wish ill-will on them. I think that’s true. But I still believe that the eye creature is a manifestation of Phos’s remnant anger  towards the descendants of humanity and it may hurt the little pebbles.

Burn out

That’s all I have for now. This wasn’t a bad chapter, I overall liked it. Though I’ll say it again, I’m not as enthusiastic about waiting for these chapters as I once was. It’s mainly because I’m refocusing on important aspects of of my life and I’ve grown attached to new things; I haven’t posted about these new fixations of mine on this blog, but I might change it. Who knows. But despite this, I’m curious to see how the next couple of chapters will play out. I’m still hanging in there and I want to see how it’ll all end. But honestly... I’m more excited to see it end than continue on because... I’m getting tired.

[seradyn]

Ruvik, Karl and the daemon bastard husband Ardyn 😂💙

YES MY BOIS 👏💕👏

Gonna go in the order you listed 😉

Was gonna add video clips of my favorite moments, but you can only do one per post, so the rest are gifs 😭😭

Ruvik

First impression: Woah, who is this guy, and why is he so powerful? Is he a demon? A vengeful spirit? I am very intrigued.

Impression now: Oh god he’s tragic. OH GOD HE’S TRAGIC.

Favorite moment: In the first Kidman DLC, The Assignment, Ruvik has some absolutely spectacular dialogue with her and Leslie at the very end, after cornering them in the church. It gives me chills every time and the delivery is perfect.

“We’re all their pawns, eventual victims.

They killed me! They ripped me apart, and took what they needed.

I will destroy what they wish to control.”

The elevator scene with Sebastian is also great, but man this one is just sublime in every way.

Idea for a story: I’ve been playing with the idea for a x Reader fic with him, one in which they essentially kill him with kindness. He hasn’t experienced kindness or affection since the accident, so I’m excited to explore his character dealing with someone who doesn’t immediately find him repulsive or isn’t intimidated by him. There will also be lots of bumbling on his end, cause even though he’s smart af, he doesn’t know the first thing about relationships 😂

Unpopular opinion: He deserves compassion, and hating him is extremely shortsighted. Yes, he did terrible things, no one is debating that, but choosing to ignore the broken pieces of his humanity left in the game is being deliberately obtuse. Not saying you shouldn’t or can’t hate him, but it shouldn’t be without acknowledging his trauma. And putting others down for not hating him is downright juvenile.

Favorite relationship: I’m all about that self ship, which is probably his best bet at getting any romance, based on being…well, a serial killer. Some of my friends have shown me Ruvik x Stefano though, and that relationship would be interesting to say the least 😆

Favorite head cannon: Touch starved af and craves affection. Although touch starved is basically cannon, I think he also deeply craves some kind of connection with someone. He lost everyone he cared about; his sister died in the fire, his parents locked him in a basement, his research partner betrayed him, which lead to his death (the one he’s discussing in the above quote). I head cannon he longs for someone he can trust, really trust, and anguishes over his loneliness.

Moving on…

Karl Heisenberg

First impression: I hadn’t played the game, but I’d seen pictures of him. For some reason I thought he was the main villain, and was working with Chris to make the main character help him (no fucking clue how I arrived here 🤣🤣). Thought he was some big, gruff man who didn’t talk much and smiled even less. Why does he look like Ardyn?

Impression now: LMAOOO THIS DUDE IS A MASSIVE TROLL AND I AM SO HERE FOR IT 😂😂😂 I could not have been more wrong about him (or the plot, still not sure how I got there). He’s funny and I love his smile, and how much of a tool he is. I must say, I did not expect his voice to sound the way it does, but I’m not complaining 🥰

Favorite moment: Why isn’t there more of him why isn’t there more WHY ISN’T THERE MORE??? Anyway, probably when he tries to convince Ethan to work with him.

“Neither did I! But here we are.

And I’m next in line, right? Kill me, move up the chain!

Well, fuck that!”

He’s so animated here, I love it 🥰

Idea for a story: I’ve already mentioned I got something cookin in the old noggin, but I have more details on what I want to happen now, so I’ll be happy to share them! Surprise surprise, it’s x Reader, where they’re a botanist sent to survey the remote mountains of Romania. Collect data on the plants there for the university they work at, along with two colleagues who are cartographers, going to update outdated maps of the area. They get captured and typical RE shenanigans ensue, but I also want reader to be connected to Umbrella somehow, which I hope you can help me with. I want Miranda to know too, so she starts sending reader to all the Lords to see what happens. Little does she know reader starts to osmose some of all their powers, turning into something far more dangerous than she could’ve imagined.

That’s all I got for now, no more spoilers! Unless you want them 😉

Unpopular opinion: He has more respect for his partners than some of you seem to think. I’ve read plenty of stories where Karl is super hands on with his partner, slapping their ass and manhandling them all the time, sometimes hours after meeting them. Not my fuckin Heisenberg. He keeps his hands to himself, unless he has explicitly gotten permission to do any touching. Honestly wish some of y’all would tag your stories when you make him all grabby, it’s kinda triggering for me.

Favorite relationship: My first answer is going to be x Reader for all of these, I’m a sucker for the stuff. Although Karl x Ethan sounds endlessly amusing to me. Karl would be the puppy bouncing around everywhere while Ethan would brood in a corner 😂

Favorite head cannon: Extremely sensitive to trauma responses, and is good at comforting, due to the things Miranda did to him. He doesn’t want anyone he likes to know what that helplessness or fear feelings like.

Last, but the farthest thing from least…

Ardyn Izunia Lucis Caelum

First impression: I knew he was the villain before I started the game, but that’s all I knew. Thought he was funny as I actually got into the game, and why the hell is he everywhere??

Impression now: GREEK PLAY LEVEL TRAGIC HERO AND MY HEART ETERNALLY ACHES FOR HIM. Seriously, they did NOT need to fuck Ardyn up so much, there’s plenty of shit that happened to him that could make someone a villain by itself. But the gods and Squenix said ‘fuck this guy in particular’. I thought y’all called him ‘trash Jesus’ cause he looks like the guy, but NOOOOO there’s actually fucking parallels between the two. The healer, the betrayal, the crucifixion…not exactly subtle when you take the time to look. Aside from all that, I still love how funny he is, he always makes me laugh (when he’s not making me cry), and he’s super smart. Plus, I will always admire how he made it so he wins no matter what happens in the end. That takes some galaxy brain level planning.

Favorite moment: Imma let it speak for itself;

“You think ten years is a long time? It is nothing to me!

I have lived in darkness for AGES!”

God, the fucking level of emotion absolutely dripping from that last word kills me very time. Darin de Paul did excellently with Ardyn’s lines up until that point, but this one hits differently. The sheer anguish and sorrow you can hear in his voice is breathtaking. Made worse when you realize he’s being literal…he has spent actual ages locked in a dark cell. Words can’t properly give it credit.

Idea for a story: yall chapter 11 of ADCT is gonna be like 10k+ words 😂😂 Not done yet and it’s already at 7k lol. Hope that makes up for the 6 month hiatus 😵‍💫 Aside from that though, I have another idea for a long fic, albeit a shorter one. Where reader gets washed up on Angelgard before Verstael, and is horrified to find Ardyn strung up on the island. After freeing him, they have to work together to try to survive, figuring out how to get food, water, and fight off hypothermia. Verstael eventually arrives, and takes both of them back to Niflehiem.

Unpopular opinion: Most handsome character in FFXV by a long shot. He’s in space.

Favorite relationship: Apart from x Reader, I’m boring for this one. Ardyn x Aera, they’re so sweet and cute together. Forever bitter Ardyn didn’t get to reunite with her at the end. I know some people dig Ardyn x Gilgamesh, but meh, it’s just not for me. Hope y’all who do like it have fun with it though 😁

Favorite head cannon: Absolute teddy bear with his SOs, fucking bastard troll man with everyone else. Dynamic is super fun and amusing to me, I love the thought of him being a bean one moment then turning around and roasting Ravus with political talk the next. Oh, I also love the thought that he has a massive sweet tooth. Since his hair didn’t grow at all during his time on Angelgard, I like to think his body is in some kind of stasis, that it can’t be changed, and Ardyn takes full advantage of that. He’s got at least three different types of cake in his fridge, and several pints of ice cream in the freezer. He also keeps candy bars in his desk.

Thank you so much for this ask, it was a ton of fun to write! 😁😁

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Episode 6 Review

- I can no longer be happy

- Poor Elan. I knew he wasn’t going to live to the end but he DIED in episode 6! Maybe I’ll get attached to the new one, but I won’t ever forget Elan 4. Also there’s the fact that Elan isn’t a clone, but instead a kidnapped child (probably from Earth) who’s been forcibly experimented on. Those Peil technology guys make Guel’s dad look like a saint.

- Elan was really going through it this episode. His mental break down in the Pharact was really sad. He just wanted to have his own life. He wanted his own birthday! Though at least Suletta gave him a small bit of happiness before his death. The two really had a bond, and when Suletta finds out what happened I don’t think she’ll be able to recover. Really gotta wonder how long she stayed sitting at that bench waiting for someone who would never arrive

- Also real Elan is pretty adorable as well, though I also want to punch him and shove him in a locker. I’m going to guess he’s the real leader of Peil Technologies and the witch Prospera was referring to. I can see him taking up the second arc big bad spot.

- As for Suletta. The Eri clone theory is becoming more and more real, but it got even more horrifying. Bel drops that the events of the prologue happened 21 years ago, which is weird cause Eri was 4 at the time and Suletta is 17 now. That would mean Suletta is really just an Eri clone, in fact, she’s not even the first. There are twelve GUND bits in total, Aerial, and eleven drones. Those eleven drones are probably failed Eri clones that got five nights at freddy’d into a machine. This is corroborated by Elan’s GUND vision of multiple young girls firing at him.

- Prospera now seems to be an old, bitter woman trying to get revenge for her husband’s death and her daughter’s robotification. While normally I would agree, the fact that she’s been cloning her daughter and then turning the failed ones into robots is fucked up. She probably doesn’t even see Suletta as human, just another tool to get her revenge. I also doubt she’ll treat Miorine well even though she also hates Delling.

- Now let’s talk about best boy Guel once again. Dudes reenacting one of the hit slice of life shows in the past five years, Yuru Camp. His homeless arc has started and he’s already thriving. Dude is so fucking stupid I love him. Our Earth House group is probably going to find him one day sitting in the woods like a gay cryptid and Suletta’s gonna want to take him back. At least his dad is nice(?) enough to keep paying for his tuition, though that’s probably just so he could use him again if Guel ever ends up looking promising again.

- Miorine is such a supportive wife, it’s great. She’s caught between wanting Suletta to act in benefit for the both of them, while also wanting Suletta to enjoy her school life. She’s understanding that Suletta was forced into the marriage and wants to experience things at her own pace.

- I’ve seen some people get mad that Suletta has been getting ship tease with the guys, but like, Suletta hadn’t heard of gay marriage until she arrived at the school and was suddenly engaged. Just like how Miorine doesn’t deserve to be forcibly married, neither does Suletta. If she wants to experience love on her own, then she should be allowed. And for anyone scared of being queer baited, Utena did the same exact thing and it ended fine.

- Now for the future, I’m not quite sure what will happen. Shaddiq will probably get a couple episodes to shine and Guel will join the Earth squad but other than that… *shrug*

- The final thing I want to leave off on is the theme of birthdays. Eri’s entire life was destroyed on her birthday and Elan never had one. Birthdays are something that humans created and celebrated, so to not have one makes one feel less human. Since Miorine and Suletta’s engagement will be finalized on her 17th birthday, I’m expecting Prospera to start some Red Wedding shit. It’ll probably happen either at the end of the cour or the end of this season (if we’re getting two)

[m-jelly]

Undead Honeymoon - The end

Pairing: Husband!Levi x Wife!Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, married life, honeymoon, zombies, gore, survival, fluff, romance, dad Levi.

Concept: You and Levi get to see a scan of your baby as you wait to leave the Island. You suffer from a nightmare months after being on the island and Levi provides you with comfort and a surprise. You go to the wedding of your best friends and talk about the healing process after what happened.

No tagging due to zombie fics not being for everyone.

Ao3 link

You sat on the deck of the hut as you watched Levi talking on the phone with his mother for the one-hundredth time since the phones came back. You smiled as he kept talking to her and winked at you. You were happy you were going home soon, but you were stuck in quarantine for a bit. The island was being cleaned up of remaining zombies and the last of the survivors elsewhere were being picked up and sent somewhere safe.

Erwin had explained to the scientists and army who came what had happened here. He let them know every single thing except for the experiments to make more people like Levi and Zero. You and Levi faced facts that it was likely you were changed forever, but the scientists were interested in helping you both. Erwin was glad that nothing bad would happen to you and Levi. He just wanted peace for everyone.

You lifted your head when you heard someone moving closer. You stood up and walked inside the hut to see the scientist who regularly tended to you and Levi. “Hello, Dr Reed.”

Reed smile at you as she held a case with her. “Hello, Mrs Ackerman. How are you today?”

“Well.” You sat down on the sofa. “I am worried about a few things. We’ve been here a long time before you and after. I just…I don’t want to be an experiment and Levi doesn’t want to either.”

“We’ve promised you both that we’ll never hurt you. We want to help cure you both. The virus elsewhere has been cured, but you two are different and the things here have a twisted version of the virus in them. We just want to help you.” She smiled and opened the box. “I have something fun for you!”

“What is that machine?”

She smiled. “Well, you can have your first scan. Want to see your baby?”

You welled up. “Yes! LEVI!”

Levi sprinted into the hut. “Who hurt you!?” He held his breath when he saw your tears. “Who made you cry? I’ll kill them!”

“Levi, I’m okay.” You held your hand out to him. “Come here. Do you want to see our baby?”

He sat next to you with tears in his eyes. “Yes!”

You turned on the sofa and lay back so you used Levi’s lap as your pillow. You dragged your shirt up to reveal your baby bump. “Ready.”

Dr Reed put the gel on your stomach before she ran the sensor over your belly. “All right, let’s find the little one.” She gazed at the screen and grinned. “There they are. I won’t be able to see their sex yet, but they are looking very healthy.”

Levi grabbed your hand and squeezed tightly. “Look at them.”

You welled up and touched the screen. “Baby…”

“They’re so cute and small.”

Dr Reed hummed a laugh. “Actually, they are a bit big for what they’re supposed to be. I guess you’ve been keeping well and it is likely due to your husband’s genes.”  

You blushed a little. “Sounds like it.”

She cleaned you up and packed the machine away. “We’ll get a better look at them next month.”

Levi frowned. “Next month?”

She smiled a little. “Because of what you are, Mr Ackerman, we need to keep a close eye on your baby and wife. It’s mainly for their health.”

Levi nodded and helped you sit up on his lap. “I understand.”

She picked up the kit and smiled. “I’ll leave you both alone.”

“Thank you. Oh, do you have an update?”

She walked to the door and paused. “Looking at two more weeks here.”

“Seriously?”

She leaned against the door. “I know, it’s frustrating but we have to make sure that everyone left isn’t infected. It’s looking good for you all and the plant that caused this all? It is being destroyed.”

Levi rose to his feet and approached her. “Can you assure me that they won’t use it in the future?”

“Yes. This zombie outbreak destroyed a whole island in a single day. It’s too powerful to control.”

“Good.” He released a long sigh. “Because I will rip apart anyone who uses it.”

“Mr Ackerman, we’re all well aware of what you can do and honestly? A lot of us fear you. So, if you don’t want this drug getting out and us using the virus, we won’t.”

You hummed a laugh and made Dr Reed jump; she hadn’t noticed you sneaking up on her. “Good, I’m glad we all understand because he’s not alone.”

“I understand.” She bowed to you both. “I will see you both soon.”

You held her hand in both of yours. “Sorry if we scared you, it’s just we’ve spent months here and we’ve seen what these things can do and we almost lost each other.”

Dr Reed smiled. “It’s okay. I know you two are my friend and you’re just worried for others.” She opened your door and waved. “See you soon, you two.”

You waved as she left you and Levi alone. “Bye-bye!” You hummed a little before turning to Levi. “We should check on the others.”

Levi picked you up. “No.”

You squeaked as he kicked the door closed. “Levi.”

“No.”

You pouted. “Leviiiii.”

He carried you to the bedroom. “No.”

You huffed a little. “Come on, Levi.”

He threw you on the bed and admired how you bounced. He crawled up the bed and smiled as you gasped a little. “Worry not, little honeybun. I’m not going to ravage you.”

You frowned. “Then what are you up to?”

He lay between your legs and held your waist. “I want to talk to our baby.”

You played with Levi’s hair. “Talk all you want.”

He kissed your stomach. “Hey, my little muffin, it’s daddy.” He nuzzled your stomach. “I know you’ve been through a crazy time, but we’ll be going home soon and you’ll be safer there. We’ll spoil you so much with love.” He hummed a laugh. “Your mother is the most incredible woman in the world. She has saved me so many times. She’s so kind, strong and incredibly beautiful.”

You blushed a little. “Thank you.”

He leaned up and gazed at you. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He kissed your belly again. “Don’t hurt your mummy too much when you arrive, okay?” He released a long sigh. “You know, I can’t wait to meet you. I’m looking forward to holding you and showering you with kisses. I’ll dress you up in all the cute clothes. You’ll have lots of toys. We’ll go on so many adventures. We’ll go swimming, fishing, camping and everything you could dream of.”

You smiled. “Don’t spoil them too much, we don’t want a spoiled brat on our hands.”

Levi pouted a bit. “Just a bit of spoiling.”

“Levi.”

He crawled up your body. “Tiny bit?”

You hummed a laugh. “Tiny bit.” You grabbed your phone and smiled at the messages from your mother and Kuchel, both had been buying baby things for you and Levi. “Speaking of spoiling.” You turned your phone around. “Look at what my mum and yours have sent me in the group chat. They made a baby group chat and filled it with pictures of things they’ve bought.”

Levi took your phone and chuckled. “They look amazing. A lot of bunny-themed things.”

“Well, you do call me bunny and honeybun, so that probably inspired them.”

He locked your phone and kissed you. “Because you’re cute like a bunny.”

You cupped his face. “Two weeks and we’re home.”

“Yeah.”

You flopped back on the bed and hummed. “I know it’s strange to say, but I will miss it here.”

Levi rested his head on your breasts. “I will miss it as well. We’ve been through so much here that it became another home.” He pressed his face into your chest more. “I do really want to go home though and set up the baby room and then go shopping for a house where we can raise our many babies.”

“That sounds like the perfect plan.”

Levi kissed you and sighed through his nose. “I love you.”

You wrapped your arms around him. “I love you too.”

Levi purred a little. “Honeybun?”

You hummed a laugh when Levi started covering your neck and chest in kisses, his semi pressed against you. “Sweetheart? Are you hungry for me?”

Levi moaned against your skin. “I crave you.”

“Then have me.” You smiled at him. “I’ve been desperate for you all day.”

You sat up in bed and screamed as you were surrounded by zombies biting at your flesh. You kicked and fought as much as you could. You screamed and cried out in pain as you felt the bite on your shoulder over and over again. You pressed your hand on your big baby bump and dove off the bed and slammed onto your side. You tried to crawl away but a zombie crawled onto your back and bit you over and over.

“LEVI! HELP ME!” You reached back and smacked the zombie. “HELP!” You screamed in agony. “MY BABY!” You curled up into a ball to protect your baby. “LEVI!”

Levi woke up at the sound of you trashing around. He sat up and groaned a bit from being pulled from sleep. He looked over at you to see you moving around in bed and then falling out. He shouted your name and dove for you. He grabbed you and shook you, but you were out like a light and you were sweating as you cried and screamed.

Levi cradled you in his arms and rocked you. “Come back to me.” He kissed your forehead. “Come back to me.”

Your eyes flew open as you gasped. You stared up at the dark room and felt tears sting your eyes. You shifted your gaze and looked at your husband. “Levi.”

Levi wiped your tears away. “I’m here. I’m right here.”

You shivered. “They were everywhere. The zombies. They bit me.”

He hugged you tightly. “They’re all gone, my sweet. We’re not on that island anymore. We’re home.” He kissed your temple. “We’re safe.”

You whimpered a bit. “N-No we’re not. We’re back there.”

Levi picked you up and carried you to the wall with ceiling-to-floor windows. He pressed the panel on the wall making the dark colour in them go and allowing you to see the city you lived in together. “Look, we’re home.”

You stared out at the city. “Home…”

“That’s right.”

“But, this could be a dream.”

Levi carried you through the dark penthouse to a room filled with baby things. “You’re safe and at home.” He sat you in the nursing chair and walked over to the drawers with the clothes in. He picked up a onesie and handed it to you. “See?”

You played with the onesie. “Oh…oh…” You welled up. “Home.”

Levi knelt before you. “You are safe.” He placed his hands on your big baby bump. “So is our baby.”

You placed your hand on your belly and smiled. “Yeah…” You looked up at Levi and felt love surge through you. “Levi.”

He smiled and leaned up. “I’m here.”

You slipped off your seat and wrapped your arms around Levi. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He squeezed you. “You’ve helped me through nightmares too.” He released a long sigh. “It doesn’t help that people keep reminding us of the past with people following us around.”

You nuzzled up to Levi. “Mm, I wish they’d go away.”

“Me too.” He sighed. “Want to have some hot chocolate and watch some movies?”

You nodded. “Yes. Oh, I need help getting up.”

Levi put his hand under your armpits and lifted you and placed you on your feet. “There you go.”

“Thank you.”

He held your hand and pulled you along to the bedroom. “Sit and I’ll make the hot chocolate.” He handed you the remote. “Put something fun on.”

You squeezed the remote. “Umm…”

He kissed your temple. “I’ll put a light on for you.”

You blushed a bit. “Mm…thank you.”

Levi flicked on the bedroom light. “It’s safe.”

You nodded as you looked around. “Yes.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen.”

You waved to him. “Okay. Love you.”

Levi winked at you. “Love you too.”

You giggled as he walked away. You slipped out of bed and raided the walk-in closet. You swapped your dress for a shirt of Levi’s and paused a moment when you caught your reflection in the mirror. You pouted when you saw your seven-month belly stretching Levi’s shirt. You shifted out of the closet and climbed back into bed. You browsed the few apps you had and found a fun movie both you and Levi loved and never failed to make you laugh together.

Levi returned to you with a tray. “I’m back. Did you pick something good?”

You nodded. “I picked one we love laughing at.”

He sat on his side of the bed and placed the tray down. He kissed your neck a few times before he noticed what you were wearing. “That my shirt?”

“Yeah.”

“It looks delicious on you. I could just eat you up.”

You pouted a little. “I’ve stretched it though.”

He frowned at your words. “You have? How?”

You pulled at the top. “Baby belly.”

He stared at how the shirt stretched over the baby bump. “Cute.”

“It’s not cute.”

“It is.” He pulled you close and held you. “I love it.”

“But it’ll forever be stretched.”

He grabbed your hot chocolate for you. “I like that because when I look at it in the future I’ll forever be reminded of you being pregnant.”

You sipped your drink and hummed in delight. “You’re so sweet to me.”

He kissed your cheek. “I’m just madly in love with you.”

“Me too.”

Levi placed his hand on your belly as you watched TV. He smiled as he felt his daughter move against his hand. He couldn’t believe he’d be meeting his precious daughter in two months. He was so happy and excited to be home with you. He hugged you tightly as he felt joy and happiness consume him about being with you and soon being a father. He kissed and nipped your neck and then nuzzled against you.

You changed to the normal TV and saw the news talking about you and Levi, yet again. You sighed and felt tired but then they mentioned the Island and how they were going to bring life back into it and make it a holiday place and a large part a memorial site for those who passed away. You fought tears when you saw a long list of names on the screen of those who died on the Island.

Levi kissed the side of your head. “I’m glad they’re going to do something with the Island.”

“Me too. Sadly, a lot of people died there, but I am glad that they’re not going to lock up the Island and throw away the key.” You put your cup down and sighed. “I have to remember what our therapist said, it’s okay we survived.”

“You’re right.”

You yawned. “I think I’m okay now.”

Levi shifted on the bed and held you against him as he lay down. “I’ll be right here all night long, okay?”

You smiled and snuggled closer. “Yes, Levi. Thank you.”

Levi played with your hair and smiled a little as he felt you drift off. He fell asleep not long after you. He woke up early and saw you had a gentle smile on your face as you slept, meaning you were having a nice dream. He gave you a loving kiss on the cheek before he went about his special day. He made sure the home was clean before he put up the cute decorations for the little party he had planned for you.

He hurried to the door when he heard the bell. He opened it and smiled at Erwin and Kate. “Hey both, good to see you.”

Kate lifted a box. “We brought lots of food.”

Erwin lifted a bag. “And gifts.”

Levi blushed a little. “Oh, you didn’t need to, but thank you.”

Kate slipped her shoes off and hurried inside. “I’ll help you set everything up as well.”

Erwin winked. “I’ll greet the guests. You go wake up your wife.”

Levi blushed hard as he thought about you. He loved that you were his wife. You were his world and he was so lucky to be married to you. He moved into the bedroom and just felt himself swell with love as he looked you over in bed. He released a long sigh and moved closer to you. He sat on the bed and played with your hair as he admired you. He leaned closer and covered your face in kisses.

You hummed a laugh as you woke up. “Morning Levi.”

“Good morning.”

You sat up and sighed. “Thank you for last night.”

“No need to thank me, okay? I’ll do anything for you, you know that.”

“I do.”

He got off the bed and picked a cute dress for you and some comfy underwear. “We have a fun day today.”

You got out of bed and hummed a laugh. “You been plotting things?”

“I have.”

You giggled as he helped you change. “Exciting.” You smiled as Levi helped you change. “I can change on my own.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m helping.”

“Thanks.”

He wiggled your dress on before kissing you. “Perfection.”

You hummed a laugh. “Thank you.”

He sat you down and started combing your hair. “You look wonderful.”

“I look tired, but I appreciate the kind words.”

He helped you stand and held you. “You look more beautiful than you realise.”

You squeezed Levi back. “Thank you. You’re so incredibly handsome.”

He whined. “Thanks.”

You put your slippers on. “So, are we going out?”

Levi held your hand and pulled you along. “That’d be telling.”

You pouted. “Levi.”

He said your name back at you with a little smirk. “Patience.” He pushed you along. “Trust me, okay? You’re going to love this.”

You let out a long sigh. “Uh-huh.” You stepped into the living room and flinched when everyone shouted surprise. “What in the world?”

Kate hugged you. “Levi put this together. It’s like a wedding redo again and a baby celebration!”

You laughed and looked over at Levi. “This is…thank you.”

Levi pulled you close. “We didn’t get much to celebrate in those months there, so I thought we’d get some sense of normal again.”

“It’s amazing. Thank you so much.”

Your mother tackled you into a hug. “I can’t believe how wonderful this is. I’m so glad we’re all together again. Levi is so amazing to plan this.”

Levi blushed. “Thanks.”

Kuchel flapped her arms. “BABY!”

Sebastian pulled her back. “Calm down.” He chuckled at his wife’s pleading look. “I know you’re excited, but a bit at a time, okay? They’re recovering.”

You opened your arms to Kuchel. “Hug?”

Kuchel hugged you tightly. “I’m so happy for you both.” She kissed your cheek. “Let’s not dwell on the past and look forward to what’s going to happen.”

You hummed a laugh. “Yes. We’d love that.”

You looked back at your precious daughter Daisy in the back of Levi’s car. She was a perfect bundle of joy at five months old. You smiled at her making her squeal in delight and reach for you. “In a bit, my little flower. Daddy has to drive us to the wedding.”

Levi looked up in the mirror. “Few more minutes, okay?”

You turned and looked ahead and sighed. “I can’t believe it. I’m so excited.”

Levi chuckled. “Me too. I’ll keep Erwin calm.”

“I’ll make sure Kate is not having a little panic attack as well. I know Daisy will lighten her day.”

Levi pouted. “I want Daisy to be with me.”

You hummed a laugh. “We’ve talked about this. I’ll have her first and then you come around and take Daisy for a bit.”

He let out a long sigh. “Yeah.” He pulled up into the parking space and sighed. “Let’s do this.”

You gulped hard. “It’ll be safe, right?”

Levi held your hand. “Yeah, it’ll be okay. This wedding will go perfectly.”

You did a few breathing exercises with Levi before getting out of his car. You opened the back door and helped your daughter out. You held her against you and smiled as she clung tightly to your dress and her bunny toy. “You ready to see your auntie and uncle today?”

Daisy gazed at you before she laughed a little. “Aboo! Ba, ba, ba!”

Levi kissed Daisy’s head. “I think she is ready to go.”

You hummed a laugh and carried her inside as Levi grabbed her bag of things. “I can imagine Kate and Erwin are worrying about the same things we are.”

Levi hummed. “You’re right, but the virus has been dealt with.”

You squeezed your daughter. “Yeah.”

Levi stopped with you in the hall. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll have a wonderful time and it’ll be a cute wedding.” He kissed you and smiled. “Have fun with Kate.”

“Have fun with Erwin.”

“Yes, my love.”

You ran down the hall with Daisy giggling away. You opened the bridal door and smiled at Kate in her wedding dress with your mother helping. “Hello. I’ve brought our expert.”

Kate gasped. “Baby!”

You stepped inside and handed Daisy over. “She’ll help you out.”

Kate cuddled your daughter. “She’s the best. I feel at peace now, thank you.”

You helped Kate with her hair once she sat with your daughter. “How are you feeling?”

“Nervous.”

“Erwin will be there.”

She let out a long sigh. “I know that…it’s the whole…”

“Zombies.”

She hummed a bit. “Yeah.”

You sat in front of her and smiled. “We’re safe. They won’t come here. No more zombies, okay?”

She bounced Daisy on her lap. “Except for this one here.”

You giggled. “Yeah. The doctor said she’s developing incredibly. There are no signs of infection. She is a bit stronger than other kids.”

“What have the doctors said about you?”

“I’m like Levi and Daisy, we’re different and we’ll always be like this. They have tried hard for a cure, but because it’s changed our DNA they think it is impossible.”

Kate held your hand. “I’m sorry.”

You shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m happy that all my children will be stronger.”

She hummed a laugh and kissed your daughter’s puffy cheek. “And cute as hell. My God Daisy is so beautiful. She has this glow about her.”

You took Daisy off Kate and showered her face in kisses making her giggle. “She’s my precious flower.” You looked over at the door and smiled at Levi as he snuck it. “Hey, is Erwin okay?”

Levi nodded. “He’s doing great. He does want baby time though.”

You carried Daisy to Levi. “Here she is.”

Levi held his daughter close and kissed you. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

You winked at him. “Sure thing, sugar.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” You waved to Daisy. “Bye-bye little flower, I love you.”

Levi carried Daisy down the hall to Erwin’s room. “I have the little flower.”

Erwin opened his arms. “Daisy!”

Levi handed his daughter over to his friend. “Feel better now?”

Erwin cuddled Daisy. “I feel incredible. She’s so cute and perfect.”

Daisy looked up at Erwin and squealed with laughter. She reached up and patted his face. “Mm, ba, ba, boo.”

Erwin kissed her cheek. “So cute. I can’t wait to have kids with Kate. We’ve talked about it and our first one will be Lilly.”

Levi smiled. “It’s a cute name. Two little flowers.”

Erwin chuckled. “I hope they’ll be good friends.”

“I know they will.” He looked at his watch. “We should get going.”

“Can I hold Daisy the whole time?”

Levi walked with Erwin. “Of course, but it might make Kate broody.”

Erwin looked at Daisy. “Well, you need a friend, right?”

Levi laughed. “I’m supposed to work on a friend for her.”

“You want an army of kids.”

Levi shrugged. “Possibly. If my wife is okay with it, she has to carry them to term and give birth to them.” He let out a long sigh. “She’s an incredible woman.”

Erwin chuckles. “She is.” He smiled at Daisy. “Your mummy is amazing.” He walked past his friends getting their seats and stood by Levi and waited for Kate. “I am still a little nervous.”

“I think everyone who was with us on that Island is. I haven’t seen anyone acting weird.”

Erwin squeezed Daisy. “I haven’t either.” His eyes widened when he saw Kate. “Like a goddess.”

Kate blushed hard. “Oh god, he looks so handsome with a baby.”

You giggled. “Right?! Just imagine what your baby together would look like.”

“So beautiful.”

You walked with her and took her flowers. “You two are cute.”

Levi took Daisy from Erwin. “Perfect couple.”

You smiled in pride as your friends got married and shared a passionate kiss. You moved together to the eating area and watched Levi feed his daughter. You laughed as she made a bit of a mess and got very excited each time the spoon was presented to her. You pulled your gaze away from your daughter and watched your two friends share a romantic dance.

You released a sigh. “I’m glad everything went well.”

Levi hummed a laugh. “Me too.”

You cleaned Daisy’s little face. “Shall we dance?”

“Yes please.” He stood up and held Daisy with one arm as he put his other around you and began slowly dancing. “So, I’m thinking for our tenth anniversary we go do another zombie infection island and do some fun survival stuff.”

You laughed. “Good joke.”

Levi laughed. “Thanks. Never again though. We’ll stick to video games.”

You nodded. “Damn straight.”

“Oh, looks like we have a sleepy girl.”

You felt your heart swell when you saw your daughter clinging to Levi as she fell asleep. “Adorable. Let’s get her home.”

Levi smiled. “I think a family naptime is needed.”

[yelenasdiary]

Hey, I know I’m new here and I haven’t sent an ask here yet but I just had to get my little dig in at anon and anyone who has an issue with what you write.

So, anon. Do you genuinely believe that this is how the world works? Do you really think that by shitting on people who work hard on these creative projects and are kind and generous enough to share them with us, do you think that being awful to them is how you get more of what you want?

Because it’s not. As an avid reader but also a writer myself, seeing that shit does absolutely nothing but destroy our motivation to create. Which in turn means you get NOTHING! When all you do is bitch and moan and complain, you get NOTHING!!!

So, and I mean this genuinely, go home and go fucking cry about it to your pillow cause it’s the only thing that’s gonna listen to your whining.

If you really, truly want to see something done, either get off your ass and write it yourself or pull out your wallet and be prepared to pay for it while giving a nice and respectful message to the writer you’re paying.

Rule number 1 in asking for shit: DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TEDTalk. Your bs is NOT appreciated!

And to you, dear fellow author, keep up the amazing work and remember to take a break and drink some water every now and then! I genuinely enjoy your writing and simply can’t wait for October!! Much love!!!!

I really don’t like to explain just how much time I spend on this blog because at the end of the day, that’s my choice but I will say that some of the fics for October Special took me more than a day to write!

I’m pretty sure from memory that 12 out of 13 of those fics are over 1K words & I know for some that’s easy to accomplish & I know for others, it can take some time. For me, some of these fics took me a little longer than I expected. I spent my 2 week break from my graphic design course to get through these requests so that I could not only give content but also be apart of something fun and exciting.

I’m still really excited to post these, some of them are in my list of favourite fics I’ve written & that makes me so much more excited to share them.

Unfortunately when I was putting together the Masterlist I had a background thought of “oh man, this isn’t going to be that great” & that was simply because I knew that there was that lack of Wanda & Natasha content. They’re popular and gain more audience but I also kept telling myself that I wanted to give something a little different, which is why there’s more Yelena & Kate than others. Not to mention the Agatha fic I wrote that I’m keen for people to read.

I know I’ll never be able to keep everybody happy, I wish I could but I can’t and I’m sorry for that. But I really do hope people start to understand that creating literally anything isn’t easy, it takes time, practice and patience!!

I love you all who have shown kindness and support, even when I feel that I am at the end of the cliff and want to just delete my blog (dw I’ll never delete, but it’s a thought that I have sometimes). You guys make me happy and for that I’m so thankful ❤️💜

*not sure if your name is Rachel but if it is, hiii we are name twins haha!*