#I want my found family so bad

[spoonless-sunflower]

It finally got to the point last night where I was like "Ah. I wonder if I would be happier outside of this relationship." And it seriously scared me.

Even the notes in my phone I keep that remind me why I stay when I get irrational and afraid don't seem to apply these days.

My partner is kind and loving but she's stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame that she refuses to face or break out of. And it causes her to keep making decisions based on that instead of ever listening to me and hearing me and it's becoming lonely and exhausting.

How are we supposed to build a life together when we can't communicate? It's getting to the point where I feel like I have to emotionally babysit her too. I'm becoming stressed out, depressed, and tired.

I want to feel like we're in this together. Like we're partners. Not like I'm her babysitter.

It took everything I had to call my best friend and talk about how I was feeling. It was just too scary to say thess things out loud. I'm really grateful she took my call. She was still on the clock last night on the East coast. I'm lucky to have such good friends who will make time for me when I really need them even when they have so much going on. And I'm glad I was strong enough to reach out bc I almost couldn't do it and it helped a lot.

Still, I ended up being pretty petty tonight. When Leo texted me that she was back from work and asked if she could come back in, I ignored her. I was so annoyed and fed up with her lack of communication and feeling like she didn't understand how much she was hurting me so I stopped communicating with her. I knew she was sitting in the parking lot and she just kept sitting there for hours and hours. She would text every couple of hours but she'd never call or try to knock on the door. Like was she gonna sleep in the car before ever asserting herself? But I was so tired of worrying about her so I went to sleep.

When I woke up, I saw a text saying she'd come in and slept on the couch around midnight. At least she didn't sleep in her car. I'm annoyed at her for not trying harder at all to get into the house. Like she truly would rather sit in the parking lot for 3 hours out of fear of "getting in trouble" if she calls me rather than trying harder to reach out and comminicate. What does she think will happen if she calls me on the phone??

And ofc I'm disappointed in myself too for being so petty and letting her sit in the car like that. She's a kind hearted thing in the end and imagining her sitting there all sad or frustrated for hours hurts me. At the same time, she could try harder to take care of herself if she weren't so afraid of "getting in trouble". Like I'm not your mother what am I gonna do to you?? It's your apartment too just come in!!

I'm just tired.

[lotus-pear]

i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

[allastoredeer]

Had a thought. Alastor would likely be the "final boss" in terms of redemption, and I wonder if Viv would ever consider giving him a reincarnation ending.

Imagine Alastor, finally running out of luck and/or spitting on every chance of conventional redemption. Only for Charlie to argue that if he had another chance from the start, he might make different choices. Which he tacitly agrees with, but as he says in the pilot: The chance given was the life he lived before, and there is no undoing what is done.

In much the same way as we found out in the stinger that Sir Pentious was redeemed. We get a stinger of a kid who looks very similar to a human Alastor in the modern day, someone calls his name and he gives a grin to the person off camera.

So, I read that very first line and this is what immediately popped into my head.

But also! Reincarnation 👀 that sounds so cool!

[bittasol]

smile, iruma! | hey ive been here before

[fresanita]

Angel Dust Turns Human pt6

"Alastor & Angels background 3"

Pg1 Pg2 Pg3 Pg4 Pg5

Originally this was part of pt5, but Tumblr doesn't allow more than 31 pics so☹️ Sorry it took awhile, I've been putting off positing this mainly cuz I've been busy w assignments and wanting to catch up w my hobbies💔 but I finally finished fall classes so YAYAYA🙂

Antoní is PLATONICALLY blushing bc he's flustered that someone would care enough to give him something in general🙂🫶!! He's thinking, 'Woah, a whole scarf! Omg, this is so sweet and kind!!' (NO ITS NOT IT'S THE BARE MINUMUM-). Also, sorry, Alastors shoulders kinda look less broad😓! Also, pg 15 (or 16?) Angel dust's cheeks look more pinchable than I remember lol🤭!

Anyways, we're finally kinda back to the present!😁 but uh-oh, Angel knows there'll be consequences eventually☹️ I feel like Alastor has only been saying Antoní, but I promise he'll have more dialogue in the next one😥!!! He just missed his little boy; he hasn't said that name in years!! Also, I should let it be known that Angel Dust's human form WILL be getting a haircut‼️ it may look aesthetically messy, but it's actually just clumped up hair!🤫

Again, sorry for the delay and hope you like pt6🙂🫶

Tag list: @diffidentphantom

[kithj]

some stories are written precisely to elicit strong emotions from the reader INCLUDING negative ones. some stories and characters are meant to be upsetting, they are meant to challenge you and make you uncomfortable!! when a story makes you feel Big Feelings sometimes you are meant to sit in those feelings and ask yourself why! fiction is a great space to explore these emotions in a safe environment. you, as the reader, are meant to think critically about the art you are enjoying and that includes asking yourself questions like why has the author presented their art in this way and what are they trying to tell me. and then you get to have fun picking it apart and figuring it out and deciding what, exactly, the art means to you.

[squuote]

stay with me a while.

[akkivee]

i’m not posting this for any other reason than to cry over ichiro’s voice as he teases kuukou lmao 😭😭😭

[fruity-arsonist]

I can't wait for Tech to return ALIVE and wELL and for him to reunite with Phee (probably with kiss) and for Crosshair to be like

"Excuse me I think some people forgot to mention some things to me"

[tumblweeds-omegaverse]

random omegaverse thought:

There must be people who experience specific instinct things with indifference or boredom.

Procreative cycle coming up? "Crap, I've got plans this weekend...stupid skip weeks."

Caught an intriguing scent while walking? "But I need to get to work! Shut up brain."

Had a snap response to a distressed sound? "Who was it?! ...right, it's my day off, I can go back to sleep."

Somebody growled at them? "Kid, I'm not a rival, that's my sibling."

Super cozy cuddle session happening nearby? "I'm gonna pass tonight guys, no social battery left, maybe next time."

Group of friends heading out to flirt and check out other singles? "I'm coming with you but only to make sure you all get home safe."

Setting where fated mates or soul bonds or permanent marks are a thing? "Meh. I don't really want one or care if I ever get one."

People in the actual omegaverse would get as bored of their stuff, as we do of ours, you know? It could be interesting to see that kind of vibe in fics. Biological demands faced with all the excitement of paying bills or doing laundry or tying your shoes.

Even if that kind of energy might not drive a plot, it could be interesting to have as a contrast to the people who do have big feelings about them - good or bad.

There's the friends who can't wait til they have a pack of their own, and the one friend who isn't against it but couldn't care less. There's the group in the office who are all about scent compatibility tests and figuring out one's best match and what sprays most highlight it, and the coworker who has no intentions on putting that much effort in. There are parents who hover and protect their offspring by scenting them multiple times a day, and others who don't see what the fuss is as long as it's done in the morning.

...also: packs with introverts who show care by giving each other space. So often, closeness is depicted through physical touch and tactile affection, but comfortable silence is meaningful too. Knowing people are near, but not having to interact until you're ready. Sitting in the same room doing different things, knowing that all it takes is a "hey, look at this" to share what you're up to. People understanding and accepting each other's differing or fluctuating needs for how and when to recharge. Seeing somebody reaching out or sharing space, beyond what's their norm, as a signal of the fact that they care.

[itsdefinitely]

oc things and stuff

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

thinking about 4halo again and dying

they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other

and then the eggs went missing

and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.

and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.

forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.

and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.

and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.

and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.

and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds

[allthecastlesonclouds]

tell me about drawtectives. what is this little show.

oooooh my god oh my god. they are my guys. so.

drawtectives itself is a youtube series created by julia lepetit on Drawfee. it's an rpg mystery show– s1 is a murder mystery, s2 is just a mystery– that doubles as an art challenges show. she draws all of the backgrounds and npcs and most of the assets (the 'cutscenes', you could call them) and then the team gets together, knowing absolutely nothing besides what julia's asked them to prepare, and does some funky improv to create a very funky storyline.

there are 3 players and one dm; the pcs are rosé, york, and grendan/grenda/grandma/gma, and the Big NPCs are Jancy True (s1/s2) and Eugene Finch (s2) and they're, in their own words, a found family, so. beloved. their backup plan if all their jobs fail is to move out east and open a bookstore. jancy and eugene have fully accepted their titles as mom/ancestral ghost and son despite meeting each other likely once before the drawtectives dragged them together. overall though if i had to summarize, it's a bunch of friends getting together, making a bunch of puns, appreciating julia's art, and laughing together. the vibes are 10/10 so loving. in writing the transcripts i've written (Karina laughs) (Nathan laughs) (All laugh) So Many Times it's just fun.

so there's three pcs. first one we meet is gyorik 'york' rogdul, who's a half-orc come to the city to learn about his mother's culture. he is the character we have by far the most lore for– if I compiled all the lore I had about the Northern Tribes and Wild Trains, I think the document would be multiple pages. he's also illiterate, which was an interesting decision for the english major of the group to make (in other words, York Will Not Be Illiterate For Season Three bc Y'all Cannot Read) and morally gray if you think about it too hard (he killed his own brother) but yknow he's hot so it's okay. they're all hot any crimes committed are okay. he's also aroace (confirmed by the player, which is!! vibes!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME @axolotllee!)

rosé is the Human Rogue and the youngest of the party; her main trait in s1 was Millennial and she Dealt with that. she, in contrast with York, has so little lore we are scraping the barrel. she was a thief, then left everything about that life behind and changed her name to rosé when she went to work for jancy. she lied on her resumé. she knows how to sew; she's sewn Pockets of Holding on most of her clothing. she bonded with a stray cat that lived outside her last apartment. she's three credits short of graduating college. she's, in addition to being a drawtective, jancy's intern, and cried when jancy got her a cupcake. she won't tell her best friends when her birthday is or where she goes to school or what her last name is. that's all we know about her and i love her and she could probably kill someone as she has multiple knives on her person and does not use them. she's bright and funny and can be pretty dark but really does find the humor in it which is. wonderful.

so grendan highforge starts out as The Snobby Rich Boy which. already love the trope something Always Happens To Them if they're a pc. then through s1 they make an offhand comment about a character (faucon, whose name is pronounced 'falco') and how if her name was pronounced that way it'd be grenda. faucon asks how they feel about it. they are caught very off-guard by that and then ask to be called it for the next hour or so. then the next witness calls him gma, and then grandma, and then. yeah she realizes she's genderfluid. and he uses any pronouns and has a full beard and also wears a romper and loves dogs and the player is the Most Experienced TTRPG-er so through maybe using resources a bittt grandma is the most observant character of all of them. he's also a dog walker and a lightweight and does canonically have druidic magic though that was Not Touched On Much and showed up to their first day on the job slightly stoned (they did stop doing that though.) she carries around a box to make the height difference (york is 7'. grendan is 4'. rosé is 6'. you can see the formatting issue) slightly less difficult. she doesn't know how rhinos reproduce but has had a fascination with them since a police chief said one might've committed a crime. i think they could kill someone by talking too much but they don't actually have the strength or dex to do Jack Shit.

and jancy true is the head pi (a great many of the characters are puns and i love it so much) and is there to make sure things get done and clues don't get missed. she has a cochlear implant and uses a cane and solved s1 just by Reading The Paper and hearsay. she solved about half of s2 before Someone Stopped Her. she says hello children to the drawtectives and it is such a fond thing. eugene is. a guy who i love. julia started the show thinking he would be some mysterious character to join them and then made the wonderful improv decision– avoiding having to do npc-npc conversation– of saying 'yeah eugene is spinning a camera on its stand' and rosé just says so gleefully. 'guys. i think he's stupid.' and he became their son. his character is a lot of The Plot of s2 so i don't want to get into it too much but. jancy and eugene my beloved.

they're just. such a family. to quote nathan (grenda's Player) from the s2 talkback: "That's one of my favorite things about this show, is we came in with these vague ideas for characters, and just playing them with each other, they became friends and became better people as a result of knowing each other and solving mysteries. ... Like, we all kind of independently made our characters people that either were distant from their families or, you know, just had tenuous connections to other stuff, and so these are, like, the realest connections they have in their lives."

and then karina (rosé) about 10 seconds later: "Yeah, we love a found family where they bond over just being the worst."

god. them. they're chaotic and loud and feel very real to me. they have excitement and are pretty bad at social cues but they love each other and want to die together because they would hate too much to be separated. i could articulate this better but it's one in the morning and they mean a great deal to me.

[fairyroses]

— SMALLVILLE, “Reaper” (1.17) & “Tempest” (2.01) 

[puppppppppy]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..