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#excuse me who what when where why
fruity-arsonist · 6 months
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I can't wait for Tech to return ALIVE and wELL and for him to reunite with Phee (probably with kiss) and for Crosshair to be like
"Excuse me I think some people forgot to mention some things to me"
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thenixkat · 2 years
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Anyway, if you aren’t Black don’t use any variation of woke. I don’t care what conservatives are calling fuckers/using as the new sjw/political correctness/what have you.
If you know what fuckers mean use what they mean, and if you don’t why are you copying what people are saying?
Woke ain’t for you. If the discussion isn’t about Black people being aware of and/or educating other Black people about racism/antiblackness/structural inequality/all the other bullshit then it doesn’t need to be used in the discussion.
#nix meows#aave#woke#aave misuse#apparently that one post i made where i directly mentioned how i don't wanna see boogleech no more showed up in his tags#which is generally how tumblr's search function works; if a word in there it shows up#anyway i do wish a motherfucker would learn to take a hint that i do not wish to continue a conversation#cause all i'm getting is excuses about how he's just paraphrasing so its fine#that other people don't have an issue and not 'to shoot the messenger#my wigga i was forced to see the word 'wokeist' (yall know i can't spell) on a post from someone i know is white#who's posts show up everyfucking where in the corner of tumblr i generally operate in#why would i give a damn what the rest of the post was about when a wigga shouldn't be using words like that period#aint no fucking changing my mind#ya ruined my night and i don't wanna see ya#i aint ask nobody to block you or some shit like that#i personally don't wanna get microaggressed on my own damn dash cause my white mutuals (who mean well but dont all ways catch shit)#decided to reblog it untagged#like yeah its pretty easy to drop a bitch i only occasionally interacted with over the course of a few years over#it just on the innitial 'it's not an issue' dismissal#told me everything i needed to know#bogleech#may as well actually tag them cause I've been feeling a lot less charitible given how they handled shit and kept trying to shut me up#plus they're a vote blue no matter who fucker like genocide joe is harm reduction
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puppyeared · 9 months
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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
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ninelivesastrology · 3 months
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Y'all gonna hate me for this one, but you can't call it a homoerotic friendship if that woman was never into you. It's called lust, limerence and delusion.
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swagging-back-to · 3 months
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not sorry. i extend very little sympathy and patience towards tras who are underage, and the only ones who do get said sympathy are TIFs. but again. it's MICROSCOPIC levels of sympathy.
#i was also a tra as a minor (~10yo to 14yo)#and yet i never said even half the shit a lot of these kids are spewing with their whole chests.#i never hated on terfs; made rape jokes; made death threats.#I barely ever even argued with terfs bc i AGREED WITH THEM even as a tra. the only thing i disagreed on was how they went about it#(i felt like they were 'too mean'. now that i am a radfem i see we arent mean enough.)#i never in my life shared countless anti terf memes. never had a DNI.#never spammed terf tags and spaces.#never sent hate anons.#so yeah#i do genuinely judge kids who do this because i WAS ALSO A CHILD and i NEVER did this shit even at the height of the trans ideology#worming its way into the government and law.#people need to understand that children can and SHOULD have morals. just like adults.#you shouldnt need to be told 'hey this is bad' to know thats bad. if you have morals then you simply just know.#i tried to go vegan my entire life. would refuse to eat animals even when i was 4 years old. went officially vegan at 11 when i realized i#wouldnt die without animal protein (and even if i did i was sick of funding animal murder)#no one NEEDED to tell me to do that.#my morals simply did not agree with killing and eating other living beings.#so kids who are willing to do all this shit? yeah. thats ust a reflection of their innate morals. not even joking here either.#i work with kids.#i know how downright cruel they can be and not just in a 'im socially inept and have no filter yet'#but intentionally cruel.#intentionally heinous. and tiktok exposure only makes it so much worse.#so yeah if you are a minor and i go on your account and i see dozens of terf-hate posts?#i AM judging you and i feel zero sympathy for anything coming your way#and i do genuinely hope they wither away in shame and regret when they get older#I didnt even do any of this shit and yet i still feel ashamed and remorseful for the stupid tra shit i spewed (mostly about how#sex and gender arent the same. that was the HEIGHT of my trans rights activism. that's barely 1% of what these kids are saying.)#like i understand where theyre coming from and i get why theyd buy into the trans cult; but that does NOT excuse their behavior.#rudefem
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derpinette · 10 months
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too many males getting veneers when really they should be investing in hair transplants if anything
#you can clearly afford it & you are going to turkey for it anyway#& do NOT cheap out replace that whole scalp you never know how ruthless norwood is going to be on you else you get The Hair Band#just do it in one surgery#i advocate for teeth crookedness anyway i wish i could just yank out my braces to push my canines into yaeba i especially like#that thing people have where they teeth grow atop of others my cousin had that but the dentist just REMOVED them instead of realigning...#really makes me wish death on aesthetic dentistry STOP that madness.#i sincerely believe that teeth hold so much character & it genuinely pains me to see people get them replaced with chiclet piano keys#all straight & uniform uber white colored YUCK#honestly having thin hair as a male is a sign of genetic failure whereas misaligned teeth is not#at least you can fix that with braces that you will later take off ( when will it be my turn to... ) nothing added All You#it really sickens me to see just goes to show poor decision making skills. thin hair is infinitely more humiliating than “ugly” teeth#but there are situations where better teeth aremore of an improvement TBH if a man wants to self harm for looks go ahead IDC but ♯JustSayin#i wish you could have seen it but one time a classmate came to class to let our teacher know that he was leaving in the seventh grade#& she was like Erm why what excuse could you possibly have & he uncovered his mouth to reveal several of his teeth broken & missing#turns out he had them knocked out by an upperclassman who pushed him onto a pole while playing a game#i still laugh out loud whenever i remember it was so absurd literally the last thing i expected it was like a tom & jerry gag IRL#he was crazy rich so thankfully he got them all replaced like immediately but imagine being anyone in that situation. even the mom#i mean i felt bad for him that must have been so painful but i cannot help but burst into laughter whenever i remember
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thekimspoblog · 4 months
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving#the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and#“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience#for the latter#but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people#and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better#can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one#respects ma authoritah#but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope#if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place#“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct#at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror#and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me#if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego#but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals#it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea#that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand#i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER#the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army#and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter#ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join#on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting#not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist#and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of
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the-kneesbees · 4 months
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uggh I'm gonna cry
#i lowkey miss when i had no friends 😭#i got invited to my friends birthday party and i really really didnt want to go#cause theres like 10 other people going and i vaguely know 2 of them#and theyre all kinda mean#like in the way your friends are mean where its clearly a joke#but im not friends with any of them-#qnd like in any other circumstance it would be fine#but its a POOL party#and there was no chace i was putting on a bathing suit and swimming#but i also was not ready to deal with being the weirdo who doesnt swim at a pool party#like i was really dreading this party#so i made some lame excuse#which is technically true#my brother DID break q bone today and my parents ARE being dramatic and i AM gonna have to wait on him#but thats not q good reason not to go#i was just really freaking out about this party#and its prob not a big deal and she definitely doesn't care as much as i think#but i feel so bad for being flaky#plus i already feel like a couple people there dont like me#so if my friend mentions why i didnt go theyre gonna think its a dumb excuse#i should have made something up but i had already said yes cause i couldnt think of anything#and then my parents wrre at the hospital for a really long time so i didnt know what exactly was happening#and i did genuinely think when i texted her that it was more serious and there would be no chance they could take me#qlso they both have stuff to do tomorrow (party day)#and i am actually gonna end up being the one helping him get water and stuff#but it just feels like such a lame excuse#idk#its just when im with these people (the ones going that im not friends with)#i constantly feel like i hace something to prove or theyll think im weird#and its so stressful
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friendlifyre · 5 months
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i think ive finally hit that point where ive accepted that i need to Allow myself to enjoy genshin more casually otherwise it wont be long before i stop enjoying it altogether
#personal#its taken so long bc when i started the game i skipped through a lot of sidequests just to get the rewards/whatever they unlock#and later on i regretted it bc i was retroactively interested in lore and there was nothing left to do so wished id taken my time w those#and its rly that same reason i held off on doing a ton of content these past few months#telling myself i shouldnt do them until i had the time and attention span to rly absorb everything#but its rly time i let myself just go for it and enjoy what i Want to enjoy and not dwell too much on what i need to skip to achieve that#not just bc i dont think i'll ever go back to being as hyperfixated on genshin as ive been before (and therefore wont regret it)#but also because i dont really... want to#im at a slowly turning point in my life where i want to do other things with it too#and if i want to make room for those other things#i have to accept that i'll never again be one of those players who take the time to fully consume 100% of the content this game puts out#and thats Good#and i wish id realized sooner skgkslg#i rly have a bad tendency to put arbitrary restrictions on myself and forget why i put them there in the first place#like i played sm of totk with a 'no teleporting' rule bc i wanted to rly gove myself an excuse to explore#and it wasnt until recently that i realized id gotten to a point where it was taking away from my enjoyment more than adding to it#and so that it was ok to just discard that rule atp#i need to try being more conscious of that in general bc im realizing its hindering me in weird places irl too
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lordiavolo · 2 years
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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musical-chick-13 · 6 months
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All the time, I hear about how there are people filtering Cersei through the lens of "poor misunderstood woobified victim who was trying her best and never actually did anything bad" and. WHERE ARE THEY?? WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE?????
BECAUSE THIS HAS VERY MUCH NOT BEEN MY EXPERIENCE
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godblooded · 2 years
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i just gotta say peoples' obsessions with writing toxic relationships just concerns the shit outta me on this hellsite.
#ooc. your local bodega kat.#[everyone: i love complex relationships! what everyone means: couples fighting is normal! so if they're horrendous to each other#sometimes it's normal!!#couples fight like... of course. it's unhealthy NOT to fight. but there's a level where it's....uhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHH and some of what's said#or done that people condone on here is wild. if i had a nickel for every time i saw someone say their character was a wonderful spouse and#then display like 10 reasons why they're covertly emotionally or verbally abusive. the rpc has such a tendency to refer to dv in one#specific term when it comes to ic ships and it's always physical but everything else is 'complex' and man that's worrying. see also: why#i was taught in grad school never to teach streetcar with marlon brando because students excuse him immediately due to his looks and his#bullshit angst. it's alarming as fuck. coming from parents who were sometimes physically abusive (to me and each other) like... this also#needs to be recognized in self-critical media. there's so much shit that needs evaluating. and it's not like i've never written a toxic#ship. i wrote the fucking WORST on at one point because i was too chickenshit to get alana out of it. and it ended in her being DESTROYED.#you know. like those kind of relationships tend to end in. like. my ex-father beat the fuck out of a dude in a bar who hit on my mom and#then when he found out the guy died a day later it was military or jail and he went military. and then my mom took him BACK. this is REAL#LIFE SHIT. writing it is virtually incredibly depressing and writing it without making clear it's fucked up is worse. whether you've been#through it or not. in that case: why even. shit hurts enough when you go through it. why would you want to vicariously go through it#being a fake person if there was no way to turn the outcome through healing and positive growth. sorry for being an optimist basically.]#domestic violence mention /#domestic abuse mention /#abuse mention /#murder mention /#[i'm just thinking back on the most toxic fucking verse i ever had and how glad i am said person and i no longer speak.]
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giantkillerjack · 2 years
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Yo the writing in this movie is weak as shit
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Like, the animation looks good and there are some fun segments, but why is the writing so fucking WEAK???
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This is fuckin' embarrassing.
41 years since Miyazaki's Castle of Cagliostro established Lupin could be likeable, and you have somehow made a movie in which Lupin threatens a girl with sexual assault and then also there is a sympathetic Nazi character?????
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And! AND! what is this shit?? What is this utter laziness??? EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS NOTHING-ASS PLAIN WHITE BREAD CHARACTER DESIGN IS NOT JUST ANNA FROM FROZEN??? EXPLAIN IT TO ME.
And she's next to the Lupin characters, who are so dynamic and alive! She looks like an unfinished 3D model base this is nothing.
And, more importantly, will someone please explain to me why this horrendously-written character is present for the climax instead of anyone in the Lupin gang???
Like, let me be absolutely fucking clear: All this girl actually does in the movie is nearly cause a second Holocaust. Literally, her actions are the thing that allows the Third Reich to nearly regain power. That is the only thing she actually succeeds in. She fails at every other thing she tries to do!
And I don't care that she feels bad about it! I don't care that she did it accidentally! The fact is, this is literally the only impact the writers gave her in the story! The only explicitly Jewish character that survives the movie! They just! Didn't catch the optics on that, I guess! They don't give her something heroic to do later in the film that has any tangible weight to it, either! The old Nazi character does that! They just plum forgot about Laetitia I guess! Too bad she takes up 60% of the screentime in this film!
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I mean, this movie starts with a Nazi shooting a Jewish man in the head, and then that Nazi raises that man's granddaughter as his own in order to trick her into doing Nazi shit for him. In the first scene he interacts with her in a parental capacity, it is clear that she fears being beaten by his metal cane. That Nazi then goes on to be framed in a sympathetic and undeniably warm light by the film. He actually does more for the good guys than Laetitia does! His death is given way more weight than the Jewish character he kills at the beginning.
Gods, this is shit. This is so fucking disrespectful.
I mean, if Laetitia was a golden retriever, the plot would have changed literally not at all.
In fact, it would have absolutely been an improvement because then her actions, characterization, and relationships with the other characters would have made sense. She would have been way more likeable too!
GENTLEMEN, If your female character could easily be replaced by a lamp, a prized possession, or a Pomeranian, then you have fucked up.
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"Arf! Arf arf! Grrrrrr!!!", "MANGY DOG!!"
And Laetitia is, no mistaking, the main character of this film. THIS film. You know? The film called Lupin that is supposed to be about Lupin except it's actually about the world's most generic girl reacting to Lupin??
And all this focus on Laetitia comes at the expense of time with the Lupin gang!
Fujiko has like 4 lines!
Goemon has like, 6!
No one in this movie has a character arc, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE LITERAL ABUSIVE-PARENT NAZI CHARACTER.
OOPSY DAISY.
Anyway, the main value of this movie is that Jigen is so so so so hot. But damn. I do think he could've still been hot in a non-shitty film. 🤔🤔🤔
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#lupin iii#lupin#original#lupin the third the first#lupin iii the first#hey! why does this suck so bad???#it is so easy to make Lupin likable just don't have him threaten to rape anyone it's just so easy#Mr Miyazaki managed to create a non-misogynistic Lupin in 1979!!! we have the technology! this movie came out in 2020! there's no excuse!#I guess she helps them get past those three trials when they're going to get the super weapon#but all that actually ends up doing is allowing the Nazis to take the super weapons so???#there's no reason one of the gang couldn't read ancient languages or pull out a translation dictionary. she didn't need to be there.#someone please tell me there's other good lupin iii content because Jesus Christ#my girlfriend pointed out that it seems as though the writers were trying to do a doctor who kind of thing#like what is it like to be a character that is helped by lupin and his gang?#the thing is you do still need a fucking character#archeology is not a character trait. you have to write your female characters with more than an inch of depth. fuck OFF#i hate this fucking character so much#and it is fully the fault of the writers. presumably men. if women wrote this movie i have no fucking idea what their problem was#there's a point where fujiko leaves Lupin in the hands of the bad guys. which would be pretty standard except they are literal nazis!!!#also fujiko definitely does do work for the Nazis. like it seems maybe she's trying to rip them off but it's not clear!#that should be clear!!!#also lupin is like 'you and i do what we do bc it's in our DNA! We can't help it!' and like. hm.#I mean that's weak on a good day but if your villains are Nazis it becomes a weird time to validate the concept of biological determinism
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shivasdarknight · 5 months
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banging my head on the table
why do people have this urge to come onto other peoples' posts and make it about themselves.
the number of times ive talked about My Own Lore publicly and someones come onto My post to talk about their stuff while completely ignoring everything i said.
like do you not realize how shitty that feels. wouldnt you not want it to happen to you.
then why the FUCK do you do it to others.
#yes this is about xiv twt.#original#a recent SERIES of incidents of this nature reminded me of one that had me delete my own damn thread#i was just spitballing echo ideas and someone came in to take my ideas and start talking about their ideas and how to apply my stuff to#their character and everything witHOUT AT ALL acknowledging ANYTHING i said#(this is also the same person who i dm'd when trying to decide between two voice claims for surkie#and instead of giving feedback they just took one of them for their own character#''hey im thinking kaine or jackass'' ''oh i hadnt considered jackass for my character im gonna use that now! :)'' End Me.)#theres a common excuse that comes with a lot of these and i just. theres a point where you need to Stop using that excuse#because its such a widespread problem of people whove never been in collaborative writing spaces that dont know how to Take Turns Talking#or asking into the other person's stuff. like if you ever wonder why i stop talking to you#think for a second and maybe look back at the conversations to see how equal they are in terms of attention and consideration#at some point i just start ghosting bcuz im too exhausted to deal with people who just come onto my posts where im talking about My story#just to redirect to them and their shit and what they do its just#i already deeply feel like shit about what i write and i know the majority of the people who i talk to dont read my shit#i know of maybe 3 people who have out of How many people who've said they would but never have?#who say they like my writing but never actually touch it?#you dont need to add onto it by turning attention back to yourself when im talking to myself on my twt or tumblr.#what i decide to post about my writing is not a launching pad for you to go on about your wol and i s2g y'all need to stop#it's such assholish behavior
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what's the first anime you remeber watching?
dragon ball z! i was immediately exposed to it growing up because my older brothers were hugely into it, so it's one of the first pieces of media that i was exposed to.
#ask#anon#i remember we had these old wall stickers of most of the characters on the wall next to our bunk bed.#but yeah i remember having dreams and memories of wanting to be trained by piccolo but uh#i was far too young to understand what piccolos actual intentions were for doing so#as a kid i misinterpreted a lot of stuff about DBZ because i didnt have the right contexts#like i thought yamcha was gokus brother. i thought piccolo and goku were really good friends.#i though raditz was tricking goku when he said he was his brother#i thought kame house and kami were related. and i was always so confused why god had his own merch and a house he didnt live in#oh. i thought ox king was like. a dude chi chi was dating while goku was gone. or like goku just lived with them.#it took me a really really long time to learn who ox king was. and that he was chi chi's dad.#but anyway yeah. we had a fair ammount of DBZ merch and games. though the games were region locked#so my brothers had to use something that hooked into the ps1 to play those games#i dont remember what or how though#we had... Ultimate Battle 22 and... Legends? the latter had a dark gray border around the screen and icons of the characters faces#but it wasnt until i owned DBZ Budokai that i fell in love with the show#and was my first exposure to Zarbon#it came out in november 2002. so i was 4 when i got it. cause i let my cousin borrow it for his birthday when he turned 3.#i never got that game back from him cause everytime i asked back then hed always make an excuse to never give it back#he doesnt know where it is these days which sucks cause i want a physical copy again...#and btw its not an exaggeration when i say Zarbon is the reason im the way i am#literally the moment i saw him i was like ''wow. he has long hair. jewelry. pink attire. and a regal voice? wow. a guy can be that?''#and then he turned into his monster form and i was like ''oh this dude is so fucking cool''#and now i am bisexual because of him#anyway thank you for asking anon! :)#sad to say that idk what other animes i wouldve watched around that time if we wanted to put up another likely source#i also didnt know what an anime was as a kid. it was just cool brutal cartoons to me
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pepprs · 2 years
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also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!
#purrs#delete later#sorry i knowive been insane about momposting but this shit has me screeching like an ape. the way when my brother was born she decided me#and my sister would be okay with each other bc we were twins and meanwhile she was leaving my sister to have anxiety attacks and me to take#care of her and all of this happening at like 7 years old and she would come into my brothers room every single night and kiss him goodnight#and talk to him for a long time and she wouldn’t even come in and say goodnight to us. LOL. ok. like our room being a depression nest is not#an excuse. us not helping out much in the kitchen or around the house (which is bad but also we have reasons for it that i think are valid#and i only do it here and not elsewhere btw.) is not a good excuse. you can’t decide you love your one kid more because he helps out and#keeps his room clean and whatever. maybe he is normal because you made it very clear from the time that he was born that he was your top#priority and you gave him your attention and didn’t take it away meanwhile my sister and i have always had to share bc we’re twins and she#cast us aside when he was born and has fucking tormented both of us for years over who we like what we want where we go all of that shit and#then has the AUDACITY to call herself a good mother. being a good mother is more than feeding your kid and projecting your childhood trauma#onto them by preventing them from ever developing cancer to the point where they’re afraid fo like. go outside. you have to be patient and#nurturing and kind and like.. motherly. ans i know no one can be a perfect mother and she has been hurt so badly and she is dealing with a l#lot right now but COME ON. for gods SAKE. i am right fucking here. why don’t you care about me? why do you make it clearer every day?#ask to tag#like the way she would say when my sister and i were growing up and going through it that she wished she could book a hotel and live there f#far away from us and miss out on us growing up so she wouldn’t have to deal with us being anxious and hormonal because we were teenage girls#LOL. totally did not impact me at all. totally is not a wound that informs every breath i take and every thought i have. not at all#* like maybe he is normal because you uh… idk. just a guess here. actually gave him the motherlove people need to be functioning healthy#human beings? idk. just a silly thought. haha
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