#I want him to break the curse but the secret keeper wants him dead

[epilepticnerd]

I don’t think Jimmy is breaking the Canary curse this season. Mans already has under 20 hearts and it’s only the first episode.

I want to believe in him but my goodness

[corazondebeskar-reads]

of rage and ruin - chapter one

of rage and ruin series

chapter one

series masterlist | next chapter

werewolf!alpha!Joel Miller x f!omega!reader

word count: 3.1k

summary: Joel Miller made it twelve years into the apocalypse without getting bit. He turns into a much different kind of monster than he expected, though.

chapter warnings: dark, dead dove do not eat, a/b/o, alpha/omega dynamics, omegaverse, captivity, torture, canon-typical violence, genre-typical violence, horror themes, graphic violence, suicidal ideation, gore, abuse by captors (not by either joel or reader), death, murder of innocent people, typical raider/hunter behavior, mention of cordyceps, angst, no y/n, reader is able-bodied and afab with no specific descriptions, viewer discretion is advised

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

This is a werewolf omegaverse fic that uses traditional and non-traditional elements of the genres. It largely ignores TLOU canon.

DISCLAIMER: A plotline of this story involves unethical medical care and human experimentation re: vaccines. It may give anti-vax vibes. This is NOT an anti-vax story and I do not want any related discourse please and thank you. This is about FEDRA being the absolute worst, not about the real world in any way.

In a rare moment of lucidity, he thinks he used to be human, once. 

He’s partially transformed more often than not. Almost never fully, unless he’s under the sway of the moon. His real keeper. 

These raiders may think they own him, but he knows the truth. 

But lucidity is rare, and most of the time, Joel Miller is more beast than man. 

Most of the time, he doesn’t even know he’s Joel Miller.

No matter what, though, he’s a nearly uncontrollable force of nature. 

That’s why they keep a shock collar around his neck and tasers at their waists. That’s why they never turn their backs or leave him unrestrained. He fought like hell for a long time until he broke. 

No shame in it, he knows. Everyone breaks eventually. 

As the years have gone on, though, he’s been getting restless and snippy, less cooperative. And the pain doesn’t really matter anymore. 

Nothin’ really does when you’ve given up.

On the last new moon, when the wolf was quiet and the man was loud, he’d tried to refuse. He sat, buck-ass naked, on the gritty wood floor of the house they were raiding. 

He did not sniff out treasure like some fucking metal detector. He did not tear the humans limb from limb. He did not feast. 

He paid for that night and had the receipts to prove it, laid into his back from the silver-tipped whip. 

He should have tried harder to die at the start. 

He hadn’t understood right away, when they took him. It, frankly, didn’t even cross his mind that they’d know. Laura, the woman in the woods, had been so sure it was secret. 

He got it when they shot him in the leg with a BB gun, though, and the silver shrapnel burned. They were prepared. Silver-coated chains and cuffs, silver-tipped batons and whips and knives. Cattle prods and electric collars. 

They’d been hunting him. 

They tried to break him easy, first. They were looking for a wolf; didn’t know they’d find Joel Miller. They left him chained in an abandoned suburb, giving him just the minimum food and water to keep him alive. 

It worked to weaken him, but they didn’t want him weak forever. Not a very good guard dog or weapon if he can’t lift his head. So when that didn’t work, when he didn’t beg and plead or bend the knee, they gave up and bulked him back up slowly. 

So they tried pain next. 

He came to know the healing as a curse. They avoided the silver, at least at first, since it’d leave damage. But when they found out they could break his bones over and over and over?

That’s when he started to wish he was dead. What was the point, anyway? He couldn’t go back to Boston. Couldn’t risk himself around Tommy and Tess. 

Couldn’t kill himself if he tried, but they could, with their arsenal. 

Didn’t matter what he wanted in the end; his brain wouldn’t give in. It overrode his silent pleas, and it fought and fought and fought.

So they took him on a raid. Starving, chained under the full moon, and they waited. He couldn’t go far, but he didn’t have to. 

They brought the food to him.

“You’ve no control over it, huh?” Cheryl said after, leering into his “room.” They send her to play nice, but he knows she’s the worst of them all. They just think he’ll smell pussy and roll over. “We didn’t need you to kill them. You just need to scare them and help us find what we’re lookin’ for.”

They had him. He knows, he knows, he knows. He’d have done anything to stop it from happening again. From devouring tied-up families who dared to say “no” to Jim and his crew. From throwing up blood and bones and bows. 

He can’t kill himself. They won’t kill him. He had no choice. 

He broke.

This new moon, they don’t take him out to scavenge. No, instead, they drag him outside and spray him down with the hose. This, in itself, is not unusual. But when they force the muzzle over his snapping teeth to scrub at his skin with precious lye soap and a rag, he starts to get concerned. 

His suspicions are confirmed when they take him back inside. 

The only time he’s left unbound is here, in his room. Well. It meets the vague requirements for a room, but it’s also reinforced with silver-plated steel and concrete. Cheaply so, but enough to mute his senses and hopes. 

Usually, they wait until the grate is shut to unclip the lead. They wait until he kneels and offers his hands to unlock the shackles. When he’s been good, of course. 

But not today. Today, they chain him tight to the wall at the far end of the room. 

They’ve had this theory that he hates to admit is not without merit. Looking for another way to control him, they’ve tried to find him an omega. 

The first few times, they just forced him on them out wherever they’ve raided. Usually, he’s too out of control, and they don’t survive the encounter. 

The most recent time, they dumped one in his cell. But the poor thing still smelled of his alpha, having only lost them hours earlier. 

Joel didn’t react well. 

They’re trying something new, now. 

That he’s here while they clean his room is deliberate. He knows this. They’re purging all his scent from it, and they want him to watch, want him unsettled.

He growls when they remove his mattress completely. It’s a pathetically small, thin, hole-ridden thing, but it’s his. 

Before they drag in a new one, a flat pack of grated metal is tossed in the corner. Two of his captors go to work on assembling the contraption, and another leaves for a while, only to return with a sawed-off portion of his mattress. 

It fits neatly inside the cage. For that’s what they’ve constructed. It’s silver-coated, of course, but pathetically weak otherwise. If he truly desired, he could snap the bars as easily as bone. 

He’s not keen on having burnt hands, though. 

Just inside the front of the cage, they clip up a bit of cloth. He doesn’t need to be told what it is, knowing immediately after it’s extracted from the airtight glass Tupperware. 

They tell him anyway. “Got a new toy for you to try, if you’re good. For now, this is all you get.”

The heady scent of omega soaked into the panties permeates his room. 

He’s salivating a little by the time they finally release him, but he waits until the heavy footfalls echo from down the hall to give in. 

They smell divine. He can’t resist tasting, lapping at the tiniest hint of musk and omega under his elongated tongue. 

“Told ya he would have shredded her,” Jim says to Cheryl when they come in the morning with his breakfast. Joel’s in his mind enough to feel a little shame, back of his neck burning, when they see the tattered fabric. 

It’s clear they anticipated it because, along with his tray, he’s given a new pair. 

They’re not so appealing this time. The sweet scent is cut by acidic fear like vinegar through molasses. He ignores them in favor of his meal. 

He eats better here than he ever did out there. He’s worth more rations to the raiders than to FEDRA. Robust meals full of meat and eggs and potatoes. 

They need him strong, after all. 

It’s not until a few hours later that he’s drawn back in by the underwear. It’s not so acrid anymore. Or maybe it is, and he’s just in the mood. Either way, he buries his face in them while he strokes his cock and uses them to catch his cum when he finishes. 

There. That’s better. The mix of him with… whoever you are. 

When they bring him lunch, they make him put the panties on his old tray before pushing it out to them. He doesn’t burn with shame this time; no, he almost feels proud. Like a peacock fluffing out its feathers. They know now. They must. 

Whoever you are, you’re his. 

The next day, they bring back the same pair. He wolfs out a little at the fresh layer of you over his cum. It’s all fear and tears and disgust, but it doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter at all, not to him, not to the wolf. 

All that matters is how his head fills with static when he licks across the gusset and howls. 

Cheryl’s looking pretty smug on the other side of the door, but for all that she’s pleased with the results; they still threaten to turn on the collar if he doesn’t eat quickly.  

He’s nearly fully wolf, gobbling down the food and returning to his treasure. He snarls as he strokes his cock, the head angry and purple as he tugs. He doesn’t spill onto the panties this time, not wanting to cover up the perfect combination of your scents. In the end, they’re shredded anyway, as his fingers stretch and break into claws. 

In his full glory, his senses are even sharper. Sharp enough that he can hear a faint sobbing across the building and Cheryl’s sharp laughter. 

“I don’t know,” she’s drawling when he tunes in. “He sounds pretty excited to meet you.”

The soft sobbing turns raw and cracked. He can smell the salt and phlegm, can practically taste it in the air. He’s aware of Cheryl, but nothing is louder than the way your heart is tripping over itself.

When Cheryl’s words sink in, when he realizes he might actually get to have whatever delicious creature they’ve gotten him, he howls again, a long, aching sound that creeps down your bones like frost.

Later, when he’s a little more present, he realizes they didn’t shock him either time he howled. It’s usually a guarantee. 

Whatever game they’re playing, it doesn’t bode well for you.

Joel Miller made it twelve years into the apocalypse without getting bit. He wasn’t even worried when it happened. They’d been heading back to the QZ, him and Tommy and Tess, when a wild dog attacked them. 

Or, well. A wolf. 

Tommy had gotten a bullet in its head, but it had Joel’s arm in its jaw at the time. Its teeth had rent through his jacket like a spoon in a banana split. 

FEDRA would shoot him without a second thought, so they doubled back to the little cabin and hunkered down. Figured they’d lay low long enough for it to be hideable before sneaking back in. 

Tommy went out at daybreak for the carcass—it’d be leagues better than what they had in their bags. When he came back, he was faint and empty-handed. 

“...don’t make any sense,” he kept muttering, pacing the tiny kitchenette. 

Joel and Tess exchanged a glance. 

“Probably a bear took it,” she suggested.

Tommy ran his hand through his hair, shook his head, and did it again. When he looked up at them, it was through wild, unpredictable eyes. “Wasn’t a wolf. It was a man.”

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Joel said.

“C’mon.”

They followed him through the thicket, and sure as shit, in the same place the wolf’s corpse had lain was a man with a bullet through his skull. He was completely nude. 

“Gotta be a coincidence,” Joel muttered.

Tommy turned to him, eyes wide and hands shaking. “What kind of fucking coincidence is this?” 

There was a rustle, and they all turned, guns raised, as a woman peeked from behind a tree. 

She put her hands up and waited. Tess jerked her head to one side, and they lowered but did not stow their weapons. 

The woman was in a ratty cotton dress with no shoes; autumn leaves crunching underfoot. 

“That’s, um. That’s my husband,” she said softly. 

“Apologies, ma’am,” Tommy said, his face soft and sad. “But—I think he attacked us.”

Her green eyes grew wide, pupils dilating and breath catching in her chest. “Did you get bit?” 

Tommy and Tess instinctually looked at Joel. 

“What’s it to ya?” he said.

“Did you get bit?” she repeated.

“Was he Infected?”

“Not with cordyceps, no,” she says. She avoids looking at the body but flinches when she brushes a foot against a blood-soaked leaf. 

“What does that mean?” Tommy said. 

“I think it’s best we go someplace and talk.”

Against better judgment, they follow her through the words to her home. She claims to have two kids alone there, four years and six months. 

It turns out to be true. She gets them both down for a nap and serves hot stew. They try to refuse, but she insists. 

Tommy feels a little sick eating the food of a man he killed. They all listen, rapt, as she begins to speak.

“It happened a year ago. But it wasn’t an accident.”

When the full moon is two days away, Joel is nearing the furthest from himself. Same shit, different month, but his reactions to your scent are getting, well, feral. 

They’re bringing him strips of cloth, now. He gets a new one with each meal. He doesn’t destroy them anymore. Oh, no. When he’s clearer, he wishes he did. 

But no. He smells and licks and then jerks off with them. If only that were the worst of it. He’ll come to be mortified during the waning, but he starts to add them to the cage. It’s fairly saturated with the smell of him from his old mattress, but it pleases the beast within to line it with the sweet mixture soaked into the torn sheets. 

You’ll understand, then, the wolf thinks. You’ll know it’s safe for you. Somewhere he’s made, a den all your own where he can keep you. 

But you won’t know, because what you know is very little. 

When FEDRA started asking for volunteers to test vaccines, you didn’t hesitate. You knew the risks. And the rewards—room and rations for the length of the observation period, anywhere up to a year in length. You knew there would be a catch—probably many, but given that you rarely had a room or rations, it wasn’t a hard choice.

But this was the end of the world, and “informed consent” was not something that survived the outbreak. 

They worked in batches. A truckload of live bodies at a time. Sterilizing showers with the barest trace of privacy, dressed in stiff starchy scrubs, and led into little cubicles where nurses with needles sat in wait. 

A quick jab to the upper arm, and then you were off. The hospital was an old correctional facility, but again, for someone who hadn’t had a bed on a reliable basis, you felt only relief. 

Until the deaths started.

They didn’t even try to hide it. Within 24 hours of arrival, a fourth of your group was gone. Carted out in black bags marked with β and nothing more said. You watched through your window like everyone else. 

Someone came around the next day and drew blood from every remaining subject, and the tagging began after that. You could see the symbols on other’s doors, but not your own. α or Ω. What they meant, you couldn’t begin to guess. 

It started not long after. 

The changes.

At first it was so subtle, you may not have noticed, but a nurse came by each day to ask you a series of increasingly embarrassing questions. 

What do you smell? What do I smell like? What does your sweat smell like? How sensitive are your breasts? Describe your vaginal discharge. How aroused are you on a scale of 1-10? 

They began weekly tests. Blood draws once a week and daily urine samples, of course, but also hearing and vision. They made you run on a treadmill hooked up to wires. 

And then, one day, after six months of intensive observation, they moved you.

Or. They tried to.

You were exhibiting a specific set of side effects, they said. You were to be transferred to another facility for subjects with the same side effects for further observation. 

Raiders took out the truck halfway through the ten-hour journey. It was… it was a bloodbath, actually. For the FEDRA officers, anyway. 

When they had you all lined up, grippy socks soaking in the ankle-deep mud, well, that was when you all learned which symbol was on your door. They couldn’t keep the word out of their mouths. Omega. 

Not that it fucking explained anything.

One by one, a short blonde with a bob went down the line of you and shoved something up to each omega’s face. That’s it. It seemed to have no greater purpose.

But for some reason, when she pressed the cloth against your nose and mouth, she smiled. And they separated you.

Whatever that was had a deep, oaky musk, like the illicit brewery operating out of the warehouse you often slept in before the trials. 

They tell you nothing.

They make you sleep on strips of cloth, so you roll around in the pile as you toss and turn, rubbing your sweat and slick and pheromones all over. 

They don’t bring you anything of his, but you catch faint whiffs of him (him, always him, they never call him by a name), of those aged, liquor-soaked barrels, but all it does is make you nauseous. You don’t understand how you know it’s him; you still don’t understand any of it. 

You learn very quickly not to ask questions. 

They take him out on the night the moon is full and bloated, hanging over him like a searchlight. See, it whispers, I can find you anywhere. Anywhere. It doesn’t matter. If it didn’t, the wolf would find it anyway. 

He is not himself.

He is his truest self.

He is two or one; neither yet both. A monster movie mashup of fur and teeth and roughshod science experiments conducted by a doctor who wasn’t a doctor at all. He’s the monster’s victim. He’s the monsters’ monster. 

He’s the wolf and the wolf is him. 

He’s The Wolf and he’s swallowed Joel down. 

He’s the man, the weak link, buried so deep he can’t see the light of his celestial mistress 

He’s Joel Miller. Sometimes, sometimes. 

Tonight, he is gone. There is only the Wolf. 

And the Wolf knows. As soon as they cross the threshold, he knows. 

Dawn is rising, the hunt is over, but he’ll be the wolf for a while longer. And he knows that fuckin’ smell. 

It’s the saccharine sour mix of you. Heavy on your sweet apple undertones, and oh, he knows. 

You’re in the cage.

next chapter

*title from "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

😬 I've been working on this baby for a long, long time, so I will be drinking your likes and comments desperately. thank you for reading and i love you.

[loveaurapearl]

First Out (Wild Life Spoilers)

Hey guys, I'm still reeling from Wild Life's first permadeath, and it had me thinking.

Mumbo wasn't supposed to be the first out. It was meant to be Scar. The winner of Secret Life was meant to be the first to die.

What lead me to think that?

First, the Secret Keeper wanted Scar to be the villain and in my head, I don't think it was because they wanted Scar to win. Sure, in the life series, it's kill or be killed, but you need alliances to make sure you don't die first. You can't fight an army alone if your name isn't Technoblade. So by making Scar the villain and trying to make everyone hate him, the Secret keeper was trying to get him killed early. Sure, they didn't want him out first since the Canary Curse was still activated, but still they wanted him out early. But that didn't happen. Scar managed to wriggle his way through the other teams so their eyes were on other people and not him.

Now why did they want Scar to be the villain? Because he was a thorn in their side since the first session. He failed his first task and then got Grian, the guy they hate and the ruler of Life series games, to make a loophole so he could get a re-roll, messing up their order of plans and accidentally giving Scar a really easy 'HARD TASK'. (Anyway, that's my headcannon on why Scar's Hard Task was so much easier than any of the other hard tasks we saw later in the season.) Scar used Mumbo's task to bribe him so he looked the other way so Scar could easily complete his task. Scar got Bdubs killed even though he was Green and he found a loophole in their task so there would be two winners in the Chicken game. He distracted the Wither for so long that it made everyone gather up and defeat it and the Warden with the only casualties being Jimmy, Mumbo, Grian trading his life for Scar's, and an accidental death of BigB on Scar's end. Grian cheated to spare Scar's life by allowing him to log off then log back in. And Lizzie managed to break the curse on Jimmy, allowing Jimmy to not go out first. So the Watchers turned their heads to Scar, the watcher's favorite, and decided that the only way to hurt Grian was to hurt Scar. And while their plans work on making Scar the villain, it worked too well. Scar wasn't just going easy and he won. Sure, Grian helped him a bit with bringing Gem and the Scotts' health low, but it was all Scar's skills that got him the title of winner.

Wild Life was meant to be the Watcher's revenge on Scar. After all, they allowed him to be paired up with Jimmy and Lizzie. Scott said it himself that their teaming up would mean they would be out of the series the fastest. And while the Watchers hate Scott, they realize he was right. So to try and restore order, they decide to let Scar have friends and then kill him so fast that he couldn't even be allowed to enjoy it. And session 3 was when the Watchers struck. They were so close to Scar losing his final life thanks to the invisible Snail trap that Martyn used. Martyn, an agent of the Watchers who they had been using for years and who was the winner of Limited Life because of their will. Sure, it meant the Canary Curse would be broken, but they didn't care. Scar would be gone and his team would be in ruins. They were so close too. The snail almost ended Scar's series. But then Grian, who had been avoiding Scar for so long and was trying to deny his feelings towards him, stopped the world and ended the Session early before Scar could die. Grian ended the game early for Scar again, and they weren't happy.

The one guy they wanted dead was now alive all thanks to Grian. It made them extra mad because it meant Scar now had a chance to not only live but thrive. They knew that if they didn't get him with snail now, they wouldn't know when Scar would be out next. And that's what Scar did. Scar not only got back to Green by killing Etho and Grian, but he managed to help the Canary regain his lives even after Martyn accidentally killed him with Jimmy's own trap by using Grian's own trap against him. And it was all thanks to Grian.

So the Watchers were glad to hear Grian vow his revenge against Scar and Jimmy, it meant that Grian was now on their side. They were so sure the Canary Curse would continue and Scar would be dead soon. And it at first worked, Grian got Scar on Yellow due to his admin 'Watcher' powers and it seemed like things were going well. But then Scar called out Grian for cheating. For using his Admin/Watcher powers against a player and this snapped Grian out of their trance. For all of Wild life, Grian had been using his Admin/Watcher powers more and more. At first, it was harmless, he knew all the Wild Cards. It would be impossible for the game to happen if Grian did not know the Wild Cards and Grian refused to simply just watch the games like the Watchers originally planned. But then Grian began using his Admin/Watcher powers more and more. Threatening to use his powers to ban people and using his powers to have an edge over the other players. He was becoming more and more like the Watchers he hated.

But then Scar called Grian out. Scar, the only one who could get to Grian, saw what Grian was doing, saw that it was unfair to the other players, especially him, and called Grian out for cheating. And it gets to Grian. At first, Grian tries to brush it off as them just being even. After all, Scar did the first underhanded shot by shooting him off the Bridge of the Spanners' headquarters, so it was only fair that Grian got him back. But the more and more he thought about it, the more it bugged him. He tried to ignore it. Try and push it to the back of his mind, but he couldn't. And Grian realizes he made a mistake. That he abused his Watcher powers and was becoming more like them. So to try and make amends, he gives Scar the mace. But of course, it wasn't that simple. Scar didn't care that much about the mace. What he truly, truly wanted was to have Grian back. To end their fighting and to be Best Friends again. To be like Third life again.

And it brings Grian back to his humanity. It made him remember the good memories and that he doesn't have to be like the Watchers. And to hear Scar say 'What happened in Third life?', it softens Grian and they become Allies. Whether or not Scar remembers what happened in Third Life, it doesn't matter since Grian fully believes Scar doesn't remember anything about Third life except for Mr. Bubbles, Pizza and their friendship. (To be honest, I have no idea how genuine Scar was when he asked about what happened in Third Life. On one hand, he sounds like he means it. It doesn't sound like he's lying. But on the other hand, Scar is a master liar, and he remembers the Lilacs and Poppies like it was yesterday. So it's up to interpretation.)

However, Grian still wants to save Mumbo and Skizz. He still wants Jimmy dead, so there was still a chance that at least the Canary Curse could continue. Sure, Jimmy prayed to the Watchers to be spared, but the Watchers don't care, they just used his wishes to make sure Tango wasn't out first.

But... Mumbo didn't want Jimmy to die first. Mumbo wasn't a heartless fellow to a fellow struggling red life and thanks to Scar, Grian allowed Mumbo to spare his life. However, we all know what happened next. Mumbo, not checking if everything was secure, not checking if everything was safe, not seeing the warning signs that the mine was dangerous, saw Gem moving away from Jimmy and trying to get a life back activates the TNT minecart track. And... with one lever left active, Mumbo dies in a firey explosion. Grian, not looking at Mumbo, only hears an explosion as Tango's wind burst thrusting him into the air and saving his life, and is left paralyzed as he sees his friend's burnt corpse. And in the first time in forever, Grian is allowed to grieve. And the world stops and pitied Grian. Grian, who was seen as the source of all the lifer's suffering and a villain who must be slain for all of Wild Life, was pitted and was finally seen for who he was, human. Sure, Grian was close to being like the Watchers. Much closer than he ever had been before. But thanks to Grian protecting Scar in Session 3 and preventing Scar's final death, Grian was saved from himself and the Watchers. It was thanks to Scar and their friendship that saved Grian but at the cost of Mumbo's life.

Mumbo, poor Mumbo, only wanted Grian to look at him like he did to Scar. Mumbo who wanted Grian to love him like he did Scar. Mumbo who wanted Grian to save him like Scar. But it was too late. Mumbo wasn't a fighter and unfortunately, there are some things not even Watchers can protect you from. Only when it was too late, did Grian finally look at Mumbo like he did with Scar. Just like Third life...

[helios-the-stan]

So me and my partner came up with something after the last episode of Wild Life and I’ve been brain rotting about it ever since so I figured I might as well share about it here.

So we saw in Limited Life that the Watchers have started to… take more direct control so to speak. The return of the Boogeyman sometimes with multiple rolls in one session. The poem after Martyn’s glass death. Martyn’s finale betrayal and the heavy implication he wasn’t entirely there for it. Me and my partner have head canoned since that finale that Martyn, while originally a vessel of contact for the Listeners within the life series, has since been… corrupted so to speak. Spending so much time inside the games fighting to win every time made him lose his way a bit and let the Watchers start to seep in and try to take over as a way of fighting back against the Listeners. And with Limited Life they succeeded.

And then came Secret Life. The Watchers were celebrating and so sure they’d won they started getting cocky. Interfering further even as their control slipped elsewhere. Both a grab for further power and a way of showing off their success with Martyn. They sent the Secret Keeper to watch more directly. To give out orders and pull the strings on the drama from within it better than their rebellious little winner Grian ever did. After all the biggest enemy against him and them in general was now theirs right? Except he wasn’t. Not really. Sure part of him had been changed. Corrupted by the Watchers influence. He was more unhinged, more violent, more hungry for a win than ever. But he wasn’t lost for good. The Listeners could still fight through him. And they were determined to make it count now too. They guided him to Jimmy. Knew if he had a canary to fight for and have fun with it might soothe him. Bring him down to them again. Maybe he could even break the curse. That safeguard the Watchers had put on the weaker of the Listener influences in the world to keep their strength weakened with his early exits before the Listeners could really make things count, or so the Watchers believed anyway.

But the Listeners were more patient than that. And while Martyn was reckless he was having fun with Jimmy. Lighthearted playful fun in between the chaos he wrought on others. Like he’d used to have, back when Ren was around to have it with. Double Life had been a bigger toll on both Ren and Martyn than either let on. Perhaps the weakness that let the Watchers get to Martyn, though perhaps that was just a matter of time too ironically. And while the Listeners could not risk taking their vessel out… they could save Ren for a time. Take their vessel’s favorite out for a bit so he could relax and heal like they’d later do for Pearl and Cleo. It was a risk. But one they knew would pay off eventually. If they just played their cards right.

And then Jimmy died. It wasn’t first. The Watchers got cocky and pushed Lizzie down expecting Jimmy to die to Grian’s antics just as they had planned just a bit sooner than he did. Grian delayed just a bit too long by Mumbo. By the very tasks the Secret Keeper, one of their own, had given out. So Lizzie floated in the void as punishment. And Jimmy was soon out too. And the Watchers were pissed. So they grabbed their new toy and flung it at a wall, metaphorically speaking. Martyn snapped. Jimmy was dead and he was just as pissed as the Watchers for it, if for very different reasons. But deep down? He wasn’t really mad. He was sad. Heartbroken. He’d teamed with Scott in Limited Life to avoid this very thing. Scott was a winner and he was damn good at the game. It was as much him and his sacrifices and team playing that got Martyn his win as it was himself and the Watchers need for drama. Martyn hadn’t wanted to lose again. Hadn’t wanted to bet on a losing dog again even if he’d always be drawn to the people he was close to more than the people who would get a win. He never really lived up to what the Watchers tried to get out of him after that. Because the Listeners had guided him to heartbreak over wrath if just for a time.

And then Martyn was gone and we got to watch and listen as Scott once again made a sacrifice for his team only to for once have it not be the final step to his or his teammate’s success. The patterns were breaking. The curses and boons faltering. The Watchers were losing control more than they’d realized in their moment of cockiness. Now it was winner versus non winner and they couldn’t let Pearl win again. So despite their desires for a villain in Scar she was struck down and Scar was declared the winner. The hero of the story. All with no friends to his name. At least he thought so. But the Listeners knew better. Several people had been guided to him throughout the sessions. To try and make friends. They were always rebuffed. The Watchers wanted a different path for Scar. But the Listeners did not care. For they knew it was the thought that mattered. That would guide Scar’s heart in the future. Scar was punished for his victory. Trapped in that world with nothing but a girl trapped in the endless void he did not know existed for company. But loneliness would only further cement the path the Listeners wanted for him later. They knew it. Even if the Watchers were too impulsive to see how they were playing right into their hands.

And finally we get to Wild Life. Where no alliance is truly secure and the teams can barely even come up with names for themselves. Where every session is a new fresh hell for the players concocted seemingly at random with no rhyme or reason or ties to what came before. Each week a new torture as everything around them starts to fracture. Their minds and their hearts. The challenges they face. Their connections to others. Everything is exaggerated ten fold as the Watchers drum up as much food as they can forcing things much more extremely than ever before. They know they need the power though. Oblivious to the fact that by overfeeding they are shattering their food source apart. Turning what once was hearty steak into spun cotton candy sugar. Sweet. But entirely innutritious.

Ren was brought back with the explicit goal whispered into his ears to bring Martyn back to the Listeners. To warm his chaotic corrupted heart back to how it had once been when they were king and hand. More playful than violent even if that play had bred violence when Grian and the other Watchers demanded it. He was gifted back to the Listener’s vessel on a silver platter and he was hungry for it. Jumped to be back with him in a new form. Ready to steal victory for Ren like he’d failed to do so many times before. He was a winner now after all. Stronger. Fiercer. Violent. Feared. Wild. It was perfect wasn’t it? The wild card of the winners dragging the former king to his throne? But the Watcher corruption was strong as the world started to shatter. Ren’s attempts at plans and soothing were targeted so that corruption could be maintained and Martyn was set loose to cause problems for everyone even more so than the Grian or the Watcher vessels Pearl and BigB did. And yet still Martyn stays intently loyal to the man despite the betrayals everywhere else, because that’s his losing dog, and he will make him king again.

Meanwhile Scar was gifted two new friends for his new team. Two friends as clumsy and seemingly harmless as him. Jimmy and the one who had broken Jimmy’s curse. Surely he would be harmless too now. Would no longer get in the Watchers way like he had so many times before in seemingly every game. He was a winner now too. Surely he would back off. But if anything it just made him fight harder. Because he was lonely. And he was gifted friends. And he refused to be lonely again now that he had them.

Jimmy was always a Listener vessel. From the very start he’d been guided by them. But Lizzie was a bit of a unique case. Because the Listeners could not send one of their own the way the Watchers did with Grian they instead took two special cases to add to the fray when they needed it most. Not vessels, but simply untouched parties who had not had chunks taken from them like the other players, who when they played could be easily drawn back to the Listeners arms to be healed and comforted. Lizzie was one of these players, Mumbo being the other. And so while Lizzie had no guidance she was still very much a spy of sorts for the Listeners. A piece they knew the Watchers would ignore even if they shouldn’t. Disregarded as unimportant for their weakness and lack of strong food but strong in exactly the ways the Listeners needed them to be so that the other players could one day be like them. She had already served that role once before in unknowingly encouraging the Watchers to prompt her early death and breaking of their own curse on Jimmy, and perhaps even before in distracting her husband and stealing his wrath whenever she was on the field whether in her own body or not, and now she would play it again in helping to keep the boys alive and granting them the gentle love and care they required to heal from the unique punishments dealt to them.

Meanwhile Mumbo had a different task. While Lizzie was like the ocean, gentle on the surface but with the power to be all consuming when they needed her to be, cleaning and distracting with her presence around someone, Mumbo was rather the opposite. He was a cloud of smoke. Coal dust filling the air. Blocking out the eyes that sought to watch so intently. Drawing attention with his anxiety but never quite making strong enough moves to feed. Hiding what the Watchers should’ve been focused on instead with the drama he imposed in his own head but rarely held tightly to amongst others. Rarely doing more than a few paranoid words and always following those with stronger convictions than his own even when they countered the words he’d just spoken. So Mumbo was given to Grian. Half a peace offering considering the Watcher’s unique obsession with the man. And half a distraction for him. Something to steal away his attention so his fellows couldn’t try to force his rebellious spirit to serve them regardless of his wants. A poison in the already chaotic world to break it down further by keeping the one with the most direct control over the chaos focused on someone who clearly needed and wanted his attention.

And that was their goal. Poison this world. This cycle the Watchers had created. It would be painful for the players yes. But the Listeners knew it was what needed to be done. If they did not make the game unable to be repeated the Watchers would just start another one. And another. And another. Until the players themselves were so broken they were little more than puppets. At least this form of chaos had them causing it of their own free will. A painful free will none of them truly wanted to follow. But a free will nonetheless. One that hopefully could break them free so they could be healed piece by piece and allowed to return to the lives they deserved to live outside of all this turmoil.

[sailforvalinor]

📔

Since last year, I’ve had an idea for a Harry Potter fic rattling around in my head prompted by the realization that Lily’s death is necessary for the love-magic-protection that enables Harry to survive both killing curses, but James’s isn’t—what does the world look like if James Potter somehow survives? I came to the conclusion that because the protection spell that Dumbledore originally uses to protect Harry until he comes of age applies to those of Lily’s blood, he would still want him to live with the Dursley’s, and thus Dumbledore decides that the best course of action is for 21 year old, traumatized, newly-widowed James to fake his death. It’s safest for Harry, the Death Eaters already think he’s dead, and it’s really useful for Dumbledore to have a piece on the chessboard that both the Death Eaters and the Ministry don’t know about. James isn’t thrilled about this, but he’s too distraught (and too used to Dumbledore being right about everything) to argue. He’s really only a few years out of school, after all.

I know I had worked out all the logical kinks on this one at some point but I don’t really remember now—but the fic would involve James working as a sort of secret agent for Dumbledore, a wild card, if you will, while keeping an eye on Harry from afar. This James would be a little different than the one we’re familiar with—a bit more mature and serious, and of course absolutely wracked with guilt. He hardly resembles who he used to be after losing Lily, and he’s pretty dang desperate not to make any more mistakes, lose anyone else.

Snape of course is one of the only other people who would know James was alive, and the bad blood between them is as terrible as ever, as Snape would blame him for “letting” Lily get killed. (As if James doesn’t blame himself enough.)

Sirius would also know, as he was the first one to Godric’s Hollow after the attack and would have found James, but that doesn’t do much good after he’s arrested. The only way I can think to workaround the fact that Dumbledore would know Sirius was innocent if he had talked to James is if James was so seriously incapacitated after the attack on Godric’s Hollow (don’t ask how I don’t know. WAIT MAYBE IN THIS VERSION VOLDEMORT ENCOUNTERS LILY FIRST AND HER LOVE MAGIC EXTENDS TO BOTH HARRY AND JAMES??? OH MY GOSH???) that the “trial” occurs before James is lucid enough to talk and Dumbledore gives evidence against Sirius because he assumes he’s the Secret Keeper.

Other than fulfilling Dumbledore’s wishes and keeping an eye on Harry, James spends a lot of his time trying to figure out how to break Sirius out of Azkaban. Maybe he succeeds earlier than in the original series? He also is trying to hunt down Peter, of course—probably spots him in the newspaper like Sirius does. Or maybe he sees him with Ron while watching Harry?

Does Remus know that James is alive? I’m gonna say yes, but Dumbledore doesn’t know that. It makes no sense for him not to, he’s the only friend he has left.

I figure by Prisoner of Azkaban, James has had enough of Dumbledore’s nonsense and reveals himself to Harry—it would be pretty dang poetic if it’s during the first patronus scene, and it IS actually him casting it from across the lake. How would Harry react to finding out he’s been alive this whole time? Idk, it would be complicated, but man I’m getting emotional just thinking about it.

Also, while it does make sense that Dumbledore wouldn’t want James to use his original wand, I know it makes the most sense for James to have acquired a spare one somewhere—but the concept of James Potter with a Glock hit me over the head with a broom, and I’d love to somehow finagle it into making sense because can you imagine? Someone in the HP universe with a gun?? The comedic potential???

A dementor: *appears*

Harry and Sirius: “EXPECTO—“

James: *shoots it in the face*

[pellelavellan]

Just here to drop a timeline for me and everyone else cause ive written and rewritten timelines of events so many times I also need to sit down and label it all out.

Some of the prequisition things are subject to change if muses have met Pelle before Inquisition and they have a more specific relationship prior like @dalishflame's verse

So have..

First of Pelle's birthday is 4 Cloudreach, 9:18 Dragon

Age 3: Pelle was adopted by Deshanna Lavellan

Ages 3-13: very uneventful the most normal childhood a child could ask for.

Ages 14-15: His best friend, Talwinne, is assigned to perform a test to get his vallaslin. Deshanna's granddaughter, Aela, discovers a mysterious cave with strange red crystals that houses an even stranger creature and shows it to him. Whispers of Qunari being spotted in the area. His cousin, Darcy, dies from a random darkspawn attack.

Important points in this section:

Pelle spots a ghost outside the cave of a warden, he tells Aela something about the cave gives him a feeling of dread and he doesn't want to go near it.

Pelle meets a desire in the shape of a man who attempts to possess him and becomes angry when it fails. It becomes obsessed with him and chooses to work through is weaker friend in the cave, Aela, to break his resolve.

He tells Deshanna about the cave and that he thinks something about it is cursed because of the trail of dead creatures leading to it that eventually get larger until--a person, the Warden. She asks warriors and hunters to seal the cave off. He sits with her and watches them do this and spots the demon he met standing overheard laughing at them. He doesn't tell his mother.

He does not know where the darkspawn came from, it was a shriek. It was not interested in him when him and Darcy encountered it. It acts as if he was not present when it kills her. This haunts him for a long time.

Age 16: Redwood, the village his clan trades with is raided and destroyed by Qunari. His clan provokes the Qunari in a fight to chase them off the land. Pelle receives his vallaslin, and is informed of a long existing arranged marriage between himself one of his closest friends Finni Tavis. Finni runs away from Clan Lavellan in the autumn and does not appear for their wedding.

Important details from this section:

Pelle learns he can do tree magic during the Qunari fight--which he was not supposed to join. This impresses his elders as they haven't seen a mage with the gift in quite a long time...as well as sort of expedited the plan of marrying him off in hopes him and Finni would rear more mages.

He is still dealing the desire demon trying to catch him off guard changing into boys in the clan he fancies and approaching him. He still does not fall for it.

He learns Aela can in fact do magic, she has just been hiding it. She does not use it for wholesome things whatsoever she has no control and is very violent with it on trespassing humans.

Ages 17-19: pretty uneventful. Nothing new happens. Aela is still violent Aela and he keeps her secret for her while trying to guide her to a less violent path. Makes a few bad decisions (men), acquires a partner he has in secret, Mallas Theron, the youngest son of the clan's battle master.

Age 20-21: Aela tries to stab Pelle to death under the influence of the demon in an attempt to possess his body. She nearly succeeds but comes to and flees after she realizes what she has done. He is found by a mage who takes him back to their camp and heals him. Templars suspect Clan Lavellan of hiding mages, there is drawn out conflict between them before templars burn the village to the ground and chase them out forcing them to scatter and wander the wilderness. Deshanna falls ill during this time forcing Pelle to act as the clan's Keeper and keep them all alive while finding them a new home.

Important details about this section:

Aela uses her magic to torture him when he was not dying as quickly as she liked. He has very biased opinions about blood magic because of this and the other things she's done to others. He does not believe it can be used for good. He actually refuses to believe otherwise.

When Aela runs away she thinks she succeeded killing him. She is driven mad by possession and hangs herself. Pelle and Mallas find her body after Pelle insists on searching for her once he has recovered. They don't tell anyone what they found, they bury her and keep the secret between themselves.

The suspicion of hiding mages originally stemmed from Pelle bringing the mages who saved him to the clan and offering them a place to stay and food to thank them for saving him. At this point he didn't know about the Chantry explosion in Kirkwall or the war. Overtime he just noticed more mages and surrounding fighting and would help stragglers that crossed paths with his people. He did not know this would appear like taking a side.

His clan settles in the Emerald Graves after months of making camps and having to leave because of the surrounding violence. It seemed quiet for a bit...until it wasn't.

Age 22: Mallas is killed by Orlesians. Pelle leaves. theclan to investigate the Conclave. He doesn't come back. Deshanna passes away.

[sirius-the-extraordinaire]

Yeah, I also believe that Sirius never killed. The main reason I believe this is because in Goblet of Fire, Sirius states that Crouch was cruel as individuals on the Dark Side for allowing Unforgiveable Curses and states how “…I’ll say this for Moody, though, he never killed if he could help it. Always brought people in alive where possible. He was tough, but he never descended to the level of the Death Eaters.” Sirius is stating his stance on that killing should be a last resort. He views Crouch's approach of violence with violence with disapproval.

And I’ll add that I disagree with posts that say Sirius’ intent when he went after Peter in 1981 was to kill him. While the Potters’ death was devastating, Sirius’ first reaction in Halloween 1981 is to take Harry accepting his role as a godfather and not going after Peter. This shows he was level-headed enough to not use the killing curse as a first resort. 

My interpretation of why Sirius went after Peter was because the whole point in switching the Secret Keeper role was so that everyone thought it was Sirius. Sirius wanted the Death Eaters to go after him and not Peter so the Potters would be safe. And since they thought there was a spy in the Order that meant literally the Potters, Sirius, and Peter were the only ones that wouldn’t be under the impression it was Sirius. This being the case, with the Potters dead, only Peter and Sirius knew the truth, so Sirius had to track down Peter to clear his name. Otherwise, he would have - and actually did - go to Azkaban without a trial. To quote Sirius, “I thought it was the perfect plan…a bluff…Voldemort would be sure to come after me…” Now instead of Voldemort and the Death Eaters, it is the Ministry of Magic and the Order. 

Despite Sirius being devastated and angered by the betrayal and having little faith that he had a chance of escaping Azkaban - demonstrated by “I won’t be needing it anymore” in reference to his motorcycle - he went after Peter because he would be the only one who knew who the traitor was.

Unfortunately, he was arrested when he was innocent, and years later when Harry accuses Sirius of killing, Sirius does initially respond with “I meant to” in Prisoner of Azkaban chapter 18. However, I see this as bitterness from Peter’s betrayal and his 12-year imprisonment. Because in Prisoner of Azkaban chapter 19 there is the following statement, “Just before he transformed,” said Black. “When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I’d betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself — and sped down into the sewer with the other rats…”. He says he was going to curse not kill Peter, but he blatantly says Peter killed so he isn’t glossing over what happened. If he was going to do an Unforgivable Curse, I think it would be the Cruciatus Curse like Harry did with Bellatrix.

After being left in a cell to rot for 12 years with no one questioning his guilt, he has no hope for justice for himself but when he learns Harry is in danger, he wants Harry safe. His mantra of “I’m innocent” kept him sane and he kept his soul, but while “he end[ed] up in Azkaban with his soul completely intact”, his soul was tormented there by repeated worst memories. I see a mix of different emotions that have led him to be willing to kill that year. His ethics pushed to a breaking point after repeatedly reliving seeing Halloween 1981 and wanting to rectify the betrayal, his dark humor thinking since he was imprisoned for the crime he should commit it, but lastly, his desire to keep Harry safe had him ready to resort to killing because who would take his word that Peter was alive still. Yet, in the end, Sirius listened to Harry.

Part of my Sirius headcanon is that he never killed anyone during wartime, but James and Remus did. Remus accepts quietly that it's simply a part of war, James agonizes over it and is forever changed, but Sirius is never faced with the necessity to kill someone.

While I do think Sirius would torture someone/kill for someone he loves, I reeeeeeally like the idea that he ends up in Azkaban with his soul completely intact. Just the irony that he's one of the few people in the Order who's never killed anyone but ends up incarcerated for murder... too tasty.

[firsttimewriter92]

Everything Black Part 5

This is a Post Azkaban Sirius Black x fem! reader (Muggle) fic I came up with. This is the first time I´m writing something like this and posting it, so let me know if you have any suggestions as to how I can improve my writing. I am not a native speaker so please keep that in mind :) Please, please don´t copy my work. If you want to repost, please do. I would love it if you tagged me, though :)

Warnings: It´s finally here! Smut, dry humping, cursing, drinking. Angst (some of these creatures are nasty) Fluff, all the fluff

I am SO sorry this took so long! I was struggling with all of the ideas I had for this fic. I still hope you enjoy it! <3

Minors do NOT interact! Skip this part if you have to. This is not for you. I know Moody is technically dead at this point but this is my timeline and I need him for this one, so...

Word count: 7.057

Summary: Things are getting revield and your relatioship with Sirius takes on a new form. An unexpected event leaves you with a clear sign to act

____________________________________________________________

You jolted from a very inconsistent sleep when you heard the taps on your door. Trying to wake up a little more you made your way towards the door when you  heard him. He taped the door again saying your name in a desperate tone. Within a second you flung your door open and there he stood on wobbly legs. His eyes red and swollen you could still see the tear streaks on his cheeks. His hair was all over the place and he smelled like alcohol. Your heart was breaking in two when you saw his helpless expression. He leaned onto the doorframe and tried to look you in the eyes. “I´m the reason”, he whispered. “I´m the reason they´re dead”. And with that he stumbled forward into you with another sob, realising with a jolt of his heart, that your arms caught and enveloped him without hesitation.

You pulled him inside and he collapsed to the ground clutching onto your middle while choked up sobs left his lips. Your heart hurt so much at this moment. You didn´t know why you started crying. Because he was obviously distraught or because of the weight that left you realising he was here. With you. He came. Your heart broke and healed at the same time. “They are dead” he said into your stomach. “James, Lilly…It was my fault.” You caressed his hair and nodded. “Okey”, you said in a hushed, choked up tone. “Okey.”

You let go only briefly and guided his limp body onto the bed laying next to him. You lay on your side and touched his damp cheek. With encouraging circles of your thumb you whispered, “Sirius? What happened?” He took several deep breaths before he spoke. “When Harry was born….Godric, they were so happy. And when they made me his Godfather, I didn´t think I could feel more important.” You smiled timidly at him.

“There is a prophesy…about Harry….and the dark Lord. Neither can live while the other survives.” You could feel your heart sink and fear made its way into your every vein. “They had to disappear. And all of us, the order I mean, were willing to do whatever it took to see them safe. Albus…he made a suggestion. There is a spell, a powerful one. Once it is cast, a secret keeper is chosen. As long as that secret keeper doesn´t give them up, not even the dark Lord would be able to find them.” New, fresh tears rolled down his face and over his nose. He pressed his eyes closed and with a shaking voice continued. “We agreed that the keeper should be me.” Your hands started shaking a little.

“But…in the last minute…they decided that I was too obvious of a choice. James was worried that it would put a target on my back that cannot be ignored. So…we changed the plan.” He suddenly looked into your eyes with absolute fear.

“I was willing to do it. I wouldn´t have given them up. Never! James was my brother. You have to believe me, please. I couldn’t have cared less about a target on my back. I would have died for them.” Hushing him you scooted closer and hugged him as best you could, as hard as you could. “I know”, you whispered quickly. “I know, Sirius. I believe you!”

After several minutes with him shaking in your arms he squeezed you. A sign for you to look at him again. “We chose someone else. Peter. He was our friend in school. We did everything together. He was part of us.” Peter…he hadn´t mentioned this name ever when he told you about his time at Hogwarts. Of course now you understood why.

His eyes became cold and bitter. “Coward! He gave them up the second the dark Lord was approaching him.” You closed your eyes and the full weight of the betrayal that James, Lily, Harry, Remus and him had to endure made your insides catch on fire. Pure hatred towards Peter, that´s what you felt in this moment. “I wanted to check on him…on Peter. The night it happened. I had such a bad feeling. I knew the moment I didn´t see any lights at his flat. I knew where he was. With who.” Incredible dread washed over you and suddenly you felt nauseous.

“I found them,___. I found them, dead. Little Harry in his crib. Alive. And….and that´s when I made my biggest mistake.” You swallowed hard. “You went after Peter”, you said in a choked up voice.

Suddenly he stood from the bed and cursing under his breath, pacing the room. “I should have stayed with Harry. He needed me. I should have been there for him all these years” he said in an angry voice clutching at his raven strands of hair. You sat on the bed watching him. He needed to do this, you knew. So you listened. “Yes, I went after him! I was mad with grief and I wasn´t thinking straight. I cornered the bastard. I didn´t even care that there were Muggles all over. I would have never thought that he was as clever as he was in that moment”, he laughed bitterly, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “He blew up the street,___! He blew it up behind his back and everybody thought I did it. So many dead and him? The coward changed into his Animagus form and bolted! It´s easy for a rat!” He sat down on the bed again, exhausted. “It happened so fast. I truly thought I was going mental. Same evening I was already in a cell in Azkaban”, he huffed exhaustedly.

Silence lay itself over you like a dark cloud. “It wasn´t your fault”, you whispered. He looked at you incredulously. “How is it not my fault? I should have insisted on being the secret keeper. Harry would still have a family.” The violent sob you had tried to suppress, finally made its way up your throat. “You couldn´t have known he would betray you, Sirius. He was your friend” you whimpered. “You went to the most horrible place imaginable and you escaped. You did it for Harry. You are here now.” He tried his best to believe you. And with the feelings of trust he already had for you, it was indeed easier than trying to convince himself alone. Crawling over to him he enveloped you in his arms and again pulled you into his lap. “You are incredible” you said, still sniffling. “You endured so much and you still manage to…You amaze me, truly.” His lips were on yours the next moment. It was desperate. Hard, quick and salty from your tears. “It´s you who´s amazing”, he said between kisses. “I needed you to know everything” he said while caressing your face. You nodded with a small smile. “Thank you for telling me” you whispered.

Even though the whole story of what had happened made you feel awful, you were also relieved that now, there seemed to be no more secrets between you. “So, Harry” you continued. “The dark Lord is after him?” Sirius nodded. “That´s why being trapped here, not being able to protect him…again, it´s pure torture.” You hugged him close to your chest, trying to calm him with deep breaths. Slowly he matched his breathing with yours. You could feel his exhaustion so you took his face in your hands and said “Stay here tonight, yeah? Stay with me.” He looked at you like you hung every single star in the sky and nodded. You stood from his lap and took his hands. Standing in front of the bed you again leaned up towards him. He came willingly and kissed your lips. You let go only for a moment to walk around the bed lifting the covers, waving him towards you. Seeing this grown man hunched over and still shaking a little, all you wanted to do was making him feel safe. So the moment he got under the covers and scooted over, you climbed in behind him and lay on your side facing him. He enveloped you in his arms and even though the smell of alcohol still faintly lingered on him, his own unique scent calmed you down.

Your foreheads touching you looked into each other’s eyes. Liquid silver, rimmed with bloodshot whites, was swirling in his irises. Pulling you under and breathing life into you just the same. Something seemed to shift between you. An incredible force none of you could name seemed to slowly sow the both of you together. Irreversibly. His eyes were as wide as yours. “Do you feel that?” he asked with wonder in his voice. You nodded quickly. “I have no idea what this is but…I also know that I cannot live without it now.” Your voice was full of adoration. A short breath escaped him quickly and he pulled you as close as you could get. Your head tucked underneath his chin you marvelled in his warmth.

Soon, you fell asleep and although Sirius told you the whole truth and the evening wasn´t quite how he imagined, being here in your bed, in your arms and, as he hoped in your heart, his eyes slowly closed and he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

The events of the former night as well as the alcohol let him sleep in for once. He thought he woke up from the light filtering through the stained glass window but that wasn’t it. Slowly he began to feel his surroundings. He felt your hand on his waist, circling slowly. He felt your body close to his, your warmth and the sleepy scent of your skin. His eyes were still closed. Worried he was indeed dreaming and not in fact in bed with the woman he adored, he made a small sleepy noise and pulled himself closer to you. While you chuckled lightly he felt that your torso was propped up in the bed. Turning onto his back he slowly opened his eyes. And there, in the soft, coloured morning light he saw what he had wished for so desperately.

You were leaning over him ever so slightly. Hair an adorable mess on your head and the most radiant smile on your face, directed at him. It seemed like a fever dream the way the green, red and golden flecks of light danced across your face. Fascinated and a little speechless he reached up and stroked his knuckle carefully over your cheek. Leaning into his touch you whispered “Good morning.” He smiled at you contently. “That it is, darling.” You grinned leaning down. His hand immediately went to the back of your neck and held it while you kissed his lips. “You feeling ok?” you asked against his lips. “There was a lot going on yesterday.” He sighed but pulled you back down to him, wrapping his arms around you as securely as he could. “I´m fine, sweetheart” he said in a gravelly voice that made your stomach twist. That´s what he sounded like in the morning? Good Gods…”I´m so sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by telling you the whole story. I just felt that you deserved to know. In case…in case you see me like this…” You put your pointer finger up to his lips and he immediately closed his mouth, looking at you expectantly. “None of that. Sirius, this whole situation can be uncomfortable at times, yes. But that is not your fault” you said looking at him intensely. He nodded. “You deserve so much more than what you have to endure right now. But we´ll get through this. We all will. Everyone in the order, you, me and Harry.” You, me and Harry. Oh, he liked that. He liked that an awful lot. Again he pulled you close and turned slightly to kiss you. It started out as lazy, deliberate pecks to your lips, your nose, your cheeks.

Humming contently you felt your whole body vibrate for his touch. He felt the exact same, then took most of his courage and slowly moved his long, lean body on top of yours. The pressure of his lips on yours soon became more bold, the kisses getting longer. His long hair created a curtain, shielding you from the rapidly brighter becoming light of day. Still, you couldn’t resist raking your hand through the ink black strands of silk, pushing them away from his face and emitting a literal growl from the man above you. His skin beneath your fingertips became hotter by the second. Holding himself up with one elbow above your head, his right hand slowly but deliberately moved up and down your ribcage. You barely heard your own whimper but he sure did. One gentle roll of his hips told you just how much he was enjoying this. Letting him know you felt the same, you pushed your chest closer to his. Breaking the kiss and breathing heavily onto your open mouth, his silver eyes barely open, he moved his hand underneath you. Right above your bum, he pulled your hips towards his own, letting you feel the proof of his attraction to you. Moving your legs around his waist, you connected your mouths again with a desperate sound leaving your throat. It didn’t take long for the both of you to find a perfect, teasing rhythm.

Although he was still wearing his clothes from the day before, you were sure he could feel the rapidly growing wet patch on your pyjama pants. With every languid movement of his hips your pleasure spiked tenfold. Tiny little whimpers left your mouth whenever his lips were not on you for the fraction of a second. Your insides twisted and a familiar pulsing started right between your legs. Groaning, Sirius changed the angle again and hissed a quiet “fuck” into your neck. The new angle aligned his bulge perfectly with your sensitive heat, making you moan deep in your throat while his teeth started to scrape the skin of your collarbone. The thrust of his hips became more pointed, his breathing and slight moans in your ear became your favourite melody. “___”, he breathed, trying to touch every single slither of your skin he could reach. “I…I don´t know how to stop”. His voice was equal parts pleading and full of longing. Pushing your head deeper into the pillow you cupped the back of his head, holding him to your pulse. “Don´t. Please, for all that is good, don´t.”

He growled again, the sound sending goosebumps across your skin, his pace again increasing. You could feel his erection bumping your clit with every move and it was by far the most delicious feeling you had felt in ages. If ever. A knot right underneath your bellybutton formed and twitched every so often. You know what it was and you chased that feeling with moans and rolling hips of your own. Sirius´ lips had not moved far from your collarbone but now, your whimpers in his ears, he moved them lower. When he reached the collar of your nightshirt he began to play with the upper button with his teeth. “May I?” he murmured and looked up at you. His chest rising and falling quickly, his eyes liquid silver. They shone up at you with so much lust and adoration, your head began to swim. You barely managed a whispered “Please” when his long fingers already opened three buttons. The more skin was revealed, the more frantic Sirius´ kisses to your chest became. When the last button was opened and the shirt fell to your sides, a shiver ran over you. Not because you were cold, but because Sirius´ face quickly changed from wonder and adoration to fierce hunger. Raking his now almost black eyes over your chest he tentatively reached out. Quickly checking your facial features for any kind of discomfort, he found none.

Licking his lips and revealing his canines to you in the process, he stroked one finger around your nipple. The air was punched from your lungs as your hands fisted the sheets. He smiled and did it again. Panting, you tightened your legs around his waist again pulling him closer. “What are you doing to me?” he asked as he resumed the roll of his hips against you. “Hm? Beautiful dove. Do you want to cum?” “Fuuuck”, you gasped when his lips finally closed around your nipple and the pressure you felt between your legs almost snapped. Again your rhythm became even more of a passionate dance. But this time, nothing seemed to disturb him from getting the both of you off. With his one arm around your back, he guided you against him in a perfect angle. “S-Sirius”, you breathed. “Hmm?” his voice was vibrating against your nipple. You almost forgot what you wanted to say when the tip of his tongue darted out and flicked against the other one. “I´m…feels so good. Don´t stop….please, please don´t.” Your voice was almost pathetically pleading but you couldn’t care less. If he would stop, you knew you would definitely perish. “Not planning on it, beautiful. Godric, you feel so good in my arms. So warm, so perfect”, his lips travelled to your ear again as he whispered, ”So wet.” His voice was so deep you almost didn´t catch what he said. Almost. Your whole body twitched violently at this and you knew it would not take long now. With a long moan you buried one hand in his hair again and pulled. While your other hand grabbed his firm ass, Sirius lost the rest of his control. His lips found yours again and desperately he clung to you. You could feel the throb of his length against you and you knew he was right there with you.

 “___, fuck. I´m sorry. I can´t hold it…Hnngg.” He was babbling against your lips. “I´m gonna…I´m there,___. Please, please cum with me. Fucking hell. Ahhh” His desperate tone of voice did it for you. The second his voice spiralled upwards, calling out your name, your orgasm flooded your every cell. Your legs shook with the effort to keep him as close as possible. The throbbing of your core now pulsing through your whole body. “Ahh, Sirius! Fuck. Gods…yes!” Faintly you heard your gasping and moaning. His figure was hunched over, panting and grabbing. “Fuck, dove. Ah… Made a mess of me”, he said while peppering your chest with kisses. His hips were still pressed to yours and you could clearly feel the wetness you both had left on your respective clothes. Slowly catching your breaths, you clearly felt your heated cheeks but you needed to see him. Raising your hand you stroked his head lovingly. Chuckling he lifted his head from where he had rested his forehead between your breasts. “Hey”, he said in cheesy tone and a silly smile on his lips. “Hey”, you chuckled and pulled him to you again. Still smiling he rested his weight next to you but still continued the slow, deep kiss. Slowly, as if to try and prove something to himself, he carefully licked your bottom lip. With a jump of your heart you opened your mouth to welcome him in. And Gods, did it feel incredible. Humming contently he delved his tongue into your mouth, savouring your taste. And although you didn’t actually have sex, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like having an orgasm invoked by his penis inside you instead of dry humping like horny teenagers. You giggled at your own thought.

“Now, what´s so funny?” Sirius asked amused, pecking your lips affectionately. “We just humped like horny teenagers”, you said grinning and covered your eyes with the palm of your hand. Sirius snorted and huffed a laugh. “Yes, yes we very much did. And you know what?” He gently took your hand in his and looked you in the eyes. “That was by far the hottest fucking thing I have ever done with a woman!” His eyes held no lie and you suddenly felt pride swell inside of you. “Very satisfying”, you nodded. You lay there for another moment or two before Sirius got up to clean himself up in your bathroom. Lazily you stretched your limbs on the bed and groaned aloud when you felt your spine crack. When you opened your eyes again you saw Sirius leaned in the doorway to your bathroom, eying your form on the bed with fiery desire. You held his gaze when you smiled and moved to redo the buttons on your sleepshirt. “Don´t do that on my account”, he said while sauntering over to you. Your hands halted their movement while he sat down next to your body and slowly stroked his hand over your belly. Caressing it with a circling thumb he said “Are you hungry? How does pancakes sound?” You sat up and threw your arms around his neck. “Yes and yes, please”.

Leaving your room also meant that you were again confronted with what had happened the night before. The attack on Arthur, Harrys vision. You immediately saw the worry return to Sirius´ eyes the moment you entered the kitchen. Only this time, he did not let go of your hand until you were seated next to him, as always. According to Tonks, Harry and the Weasleys were at the hospital where Arthur was currently treated. This seemed to calm Sirius down a little. At least that meant that he would soon be able to see his godson again. Gradually over the next few days the house filled with visitors for Christmas. And every day, the house seemed less and less uncomfortable. Sirius spent almost every night next to you in your bed. Nothing sexual happened these nights but holding you close and feeling less alone was more than he could have whished for. The usually dingy house you both inhabited seemed to glow a little these days. There was always someone walking around the place, talking, laughing. The day a very tired Arthur returned to Grimmauld place was a happy one. Molly kept fussing around her husband, making sure he was taken care of and all her children as well as Harry and Hermione were fed and more or less worriless. You on the other hand spent almost as much time with Arthur as Molly did. Happily explaining the London Tube system to him or why football was so popular. “I just don’t get it”, Arthur said with a shake of his head. “There is only one ball and it doesn’t even fly. And why does every team need eleven people running after it? Six would clearly suffice.”

Sirius was spending quite some time with his godson and you loved the way he interacted with the teenager. They both held a deep fondness for each other, everyone could see. Harry even made an effort to include you as much as possible in their conversations, though you happily excused yourself to chat with Tonks or the girls Ginny and Hermione when you noticed that he would much rather talk to Sirius alone. Sometimes during these conversations you could see the strained expression on Harrys face and suddenly had the urge to hug him and tell him, everything would be alright. No teenager should have this kind of burden to carry. You could see that Sirius tried his very best to encourage his godson and you admired him for the dedication he showed. He truly loved this boy.

And just like that, Christmas was only one day away. But before that, Moody had decided to hold one more order meeting. Seeing as almost all members of the order were accommodated at Grimmauld place anyway. When the time for the meeting came, Sirius pulled you aside in the kitchen. His arms snaked around your waist and he looked you deep in the eyes. “It won´t take long. After that, we can concentrate on the holiday spirit again”, he smiled. “I wish I could do more”, you said in a small voice not looking him in the face. You had not spoken about your own fears and worries but you had a feeling Sirius already knew. He sighed and took your face in his hands. Leaning his forehead to yours he said “I know, love. I could not be more thankful to you for being so compassionate and understanding.” He kissed the crown of your head and moved so you had to look at him. With a meaningful expression he continued. “I need you to know that you do much more than you think. You are a friend to Tonks and Remus, another soul to fuss over and to take care of for Molly,” you chuckled at that. “A lexicon on Muggle things for Arthur. You possess the one thing we all hunger for these days. Normalcy in it´s purest form.” You eyes stung again but you smiled none the less. “And to you?” you asked carefully. “What am I to you?” You were nervous for his answer. And it did seem like he was struggling for a second. But then he gave you a shy smile. “My light”, he answered simply.

Sniffling lightly you stood on your toes and kissed him with all the affection that was currently swirling inside you, turning your insides to absolute mush. Neither of you let go for a long while. Tongues lovingly caressing each other you didn’t notice the people that came down the stairs. Only by the clearing of a throat did Sirius detach from you looking rather pissed at the person behind you. When you turned as well you were greeted by an eyerolling Alastor Moody. Behind him however Tonks gave you a double thumbs up. Next to her, Remus looked like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to look happy for his friends or slightly disgusted by what he just witnessed. His ears were tinged pink when he decided on a raised eyebrow and a smirk in your direction. “I´ll leave you to it”, you quietly said to Sirius, kissing his cheek lightly before Moody could make a snide remark. You grinned at Tonks and squeezed her hand quickly when walking by. At the foot if the stairs you felt lighter than air and in a bust of happiness you turned your head towards Moodys back and stuck your tongue out at him. Fully aware that he probably saw that with his creepy eye, you ran up the steps passing the twins on their way downstairs. “Now, what´s gotten the Muggle so happy?” George said with a toothy grin. You turned at the top of the stairs and smiled down at them. “After the meeting, I´m going to kick your ass at exploding snap” you said pointing at George. “Uhhhhh, you hear that Fred?” he said, Fred nodding and snickering beside him. “She´s definitely going to kick your ass, Georgie. Look at her, she is pumped.” “You know I love a good challenge, Fred”, George said. His eyes twinkling up at you. “Keep that energy, lass. We love to see it” he continued walking down the steps giggling. Fred winked at you and followed his brother.

You decided on some light reading in the library and made your way up the staircase. Decorations now hanging from the banisters and handrailing, there was a stark contrast between dark, gloomy doom and festive cheesiness. You loved it. When entering the library, you remembered all the significant moments you had with Sirius in this exact room. Your first touch, the many conversations, light hearted and serious, your first kiss. Tomorrow for Christmas, you decided you would take the plunge and make your intentions absolutely crystal clear. Not in this room of course but…Excitement twisted your stomach when you thought about him in your bed. Preferably naked, underneath you…shivering you plopped yourself onto the old sofa and tried not to squeal. You grabbed one of your favourite books from the nearby table and started to read. Flipping though pages of narrow handwriting and more or less disturbing caricatures. You were actually looking for something very specific. A potion or spell you could ask Tonks or Molly to make or put on you. If you wanted to take the next step in being intimate with Sirius you had to at least make sure that no accidents happened. You wanted to fully concentrate on him and not worry about the “what ifs”. You paused on a promising page when you heard movement behind you. Bolting upright you turned in the direction of a still dark and dingy corner of the room that the light from the fire couldn’t reach. Carefully you eyed the corner and wondered with slight panic how long it would take for the people in the kitchen to hear you scream when you saw a figure emerging from the shadows. Relief flooded your system and your hammering heart calmed down a little. “Albus”, you said with a still panicky chuckle. “You scared the shit out of me. Why are you up here in the corner just lurking about? Shouldn’t you be downstairs with the others?” He gave no answer. Just looking at you intently and suddenly the panic was back full force. Something was off. “Albus?” you asked, your voice beginning to shake. You stood and stumbled back a few steps when he approached you slowly. Still not saying a word and just looking into your eyes. Your hands went clammy and ice cold water seemed to have replaced the blood in your veins. “Albus, what are you doing? Say something!” you almost yelled in pure fear. With a sickening grin that could only be described as downright hideous he reached inside his robes and pulled out his wand. “No”, you whimpered. “Please don´t.”

“I´m afraid you overstayed your welcome” Albus said with malice and frightening glee in his voice. Sinking to your knees, shaking and already sobbing you watched as he raised his wand and pointed it directly between your eyes.

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Downstairs the meeting came to an end and everyone was kind of on edge. The recent developments rattled the group and asked for a more hands on, aggressive approach. Again Sirius felt hollow when the Aurors came up with a new plan to protect the prophesy. His name did not fall even once. He knew why of course. That did not help his feeling of helplessness however. All he could do was coordinating everything and everyone from his house. Keeping its doors open and trying to come up with a strategic plan. At least he could do that. As Molly started cooking dinner, everyone tried their best to return to the light hearted feeling of pre-Christmas contentment.

For the most part, the younger generation seemed to get into it quickly. Butterbeer and Firewhisky was handed out and calm chatter floated around the room. Just as Sirius thought about how your warm smile was missing from the table and he was about to get up, Moody turned his head sharply at him. “Sirius”, he grunted. His steel blue eye was turned upwards towards the ceiling. “Did you lot get rid of every pest in this house?” Sirius blinked. “As far as I´m concerned, yes. Why?” he asked slowly. “Hmmpf”, Moody puffed out an annoyed gust of air. “You missed a Boggart” he simply stated. Annoyance made its way into Sirius´ chest and with a groan he said “I´ll deal with it after dinner. Must have slipped in sometime last month.” Moody pinned Sirius with both eyes now and he could feel his skin crawl. “You might want to reconsider that.” Moodys mouth twitched a little. “Your little Muggle friend is in a bit of distress.” An bucket full of ice tipped over in his stomach and he immediately broke out in cold sweat. Tonks and Remus´ heads whipped upwards immediately and worry laced their features. Like a bolt of lightning Sirius jumped to his feet and bolted towards the stairs. “Library!” Moody bellowed after him but he already had a feeling that you would be in there. Taking two stairs at once he threw open the kitchen door and thundered up the steps. The panicked ringing in his ears preventing him from noticing his mother’s screams. No, no, no, no, not her! She doesn´t know! He thought as he threw open the library doors, Remus hot on his heels. His lungs constricted painfully and every ounce of oxygen left his body at the sight before him. You were cowering on the floor, sobbing, hiccupping and hugging yourself as Albus Dumbledor seemingly was about to hex you.

“Please,” he heard you whimpering. The sound breaking his heart into a million pieces. “Please, I don´t want to forget. Please don´t make me forget him, please.” You were begging on the floor at the feet of Albus. The scene almost made him sick with panic and absolute rage. The taunting laugh he heard next coming from the boggart made his blood boil and within the fraction of a second he called your name and propelled himself forward. The boggart whipped its head around and cackled while teasingly waving the wand in front of your face. Screwing your eyes shut and sobbing violently you sunk deeper onto the carpet. When Sirius reached you, he fell to his knees in front of you and hugged you to him forcefully. “I´m here. I´m here,___. It´s me! I´m so sorry. I should have checked, I´m so sorry. Please, stop crying. Nothing´s going to happen. Please.” He pressed your head to his chest and buried his nose in your hair, trying to calm you down. You were shaking like a leaf, babbling incoherently but none the less clinging to his shirt like a drowning person holding onto a buoy. “Remus!” Sirius called almost desperately. “I´m on it”, Remus hissed and came over to distract the boggart away from you.

“Shhh, it´s okey, dove. You´re ok. It´s just a boggart. Remus will get rid of it, I promise” Sirius whispered into your ear while stroking your hair and cradling you in his arms. You were trying to catch your breath, the panic still flooding your system but his voice reached your ears more clearly now. “That´s it. Good girl, breath. Listen to my voice. Noone is going to take your memories. Noone!” He said those words like he was trying to convince himself of that fact as well. Breathing hard he tried to calm himself down as well. He heard a faint crack behind him an knew that Remus had gotten rid of the pest. Relieved, he tried to make eye contact with you. Stroking your face with his thumbs he was desperate to stop the flow of tears streaming down your cheeks. Your eyes were puffy and red, a haunted look edged deep into your irises. Again his heart squeezed painfully inside his ribcage. “Noone?” you managed to force the word out, your eyes searching his for reassurance. He pulled you into his lap and kissed your forehead several times while nodding. Looking deep into your eyes he said “Noone is going to take you from me, my love. I swear it! You belong here with me, little dove. My dove. Mine.” He didn’t care if he sounded desperate or possessive. In his book, you being his, was an irrefutable fact. Nothing less. With his hammering heart, your shaking form in his arms and his whispered name on your lips he searched deep inside himself for the words to put your mind at ease. He knew what he wanted to say. To give your relationship a name, a path to follow further. But the three little words got stuck in his windpipe as he had not said those words to anyone before. Not in a romantic way anyway. So he opted on holding you as close as possible, lightly swinging you from side to side and kissing your head. There would come a time, a perfect time to tell you what he felt.

Minutes later he still sat on the floor with you. Your breathing somewhat calm you still clung to him. But not as desperately than before. You just concentrated on his heartbeat next to your ear, his calming scent of woods and smoke and his gentle hands stroking your back and hair. A boggart, he said. You read about them briefly and knew what they were but you never thought you´d see one. It was all so real. The boggarts taunting and the awful words it said to you, seemingly going on for hours. Letting you think every second now, you would forget the man you loved. And that is what this experience had revealed to you. You were irrevocably in love with Sirius Orion Black. It wasn´t just mere attraction or adoration. Surely these feelings dipped into the greater picture of what you felt for him but the sheer horror of maybe losing your memories of him, manifested what you had pondered for days now. You loved him. Loved him with a tenderness and force that seemed to create an everlasting storm inside you. His dove, he called you. His. That you were, there was no denying.

Slowly raising your head from his chest he looked at you with the utmost worry in his storm grey eyes. You tried your best not to look too rattled. “I could really use some Firewhisky right now” you croaked. The worried look vanished from his face and with a chuckle his shoulders relaxed as he kissed your lips carefully. “Whatever you want, my love. Whatever you need.” You kissed him back, finally able to smile up to him. “What she needs, Sirius, is chocolate after all this” Remus´ voice came from somewhere behind Sirius. He rolled his eyes and helped you up to stand on still quite shaky legs. His arm went around your waist as he turned to Remus. “Not everything is solved by eating chocolate, Rem.” Grinning, Remus walked over to you, an open chocolate bar already in hand. Teasingly he pumped Sirius´ shoulder while handing the bar to you. “Speak for yourself, padfoot. Just because you can´t have it…”. Sirius groaned. Biting the chocolate bar thankfully, a warm and fuzzy feeling spread through your chest. “This is really good, thank you Remus” you said warmly and gave him a big smile. He nodded and looked a bit deeper into your eyes. “You all right? Gave this one quite a scare” he pointed at Sirius at your side. His hand on your waist twitched but you were fast to answer. “I´ll be fine. I´m just a bit shaky still, that’s all.” Seemingly satisfied with your answer Remus came up again to his full height and nodded. “Good. Eat the whole thing, you´ll feel better.” In your periphery you could see Sirius eying your chocolate bar suspiciously.

“Oh, right” you suddenly exclaimed. “Why can´t you have chocolate, Sirius?” He hung his head while Remus started laughing heartily. You hadn´t heard him laugh this carefree yet and it vibrated pleasantly in your ears. It was a clear, happy sound. It reminded you of a bell. “Because he is a dog. It´s basically poison for him” he wheezed and clapped Sirius´ shoulder good naturedly. “I can have chocolate” he grumbled. “I just get violently sick.” Again you saw an adorable pout on his lips. This time, not hesitating kissing it away. He grinned down at you. Remus snickered. “Yes, if you call violently sick projectile vomiting all over the pl-“ “That´ll do!!” Sirius raised his voice slightly and steered you towards the door. You were giggling all the way down to the kitchen.

When Molly saw you, still a little pale faced and obvious red rimmed eyes, she immediately buzzled over to you. “___, dear! Are you all right? We hoped we had gotten rid of all the boggarts but this one seemed to have a brilliant hiding spot. Oh, my dear child.” She hugged you tightly to her chest and your arms immediately wound themselves around her. She retreated and looked you up and down. “Come on, let´s get some colour onto those cheeks again. I´ll make you some tea.” “Put some Whiskey in there, Molly” Sirius said while guiding you to your seat. Molly gave him a pointed look. “I wasn´t born yesterday, Sirius. Of course she´ll get some Whiskey.” Shaking her head as if Sirius´ had just asked if the sky was blue, she made her way over to the stove. “In that case, while you are at it, mum…” Fred piped up. “I think we all could use-“ “Do not take me for a fool, Fred Gideon Weasley!” Molly said sternly but with a slight smirk on her face.

While Molly and Sirius made sure you were comfortable and after cup after cup of tea, slightly buzzed, Remus, Tonks and Moody (who had been observing the whole scenario from a afar) sat in a quiet corner of the room talking. “I´ve never seen him sprint like that” Tonks said in a hushed voice. “Good thing he did” Remus said thoughtfully with a sideways glance at you. “She was in a right state when we got to her. That was a nasty boggart. Took me several takes to get rid of it. Eventually I almost ran out of ideas on how to make a fucking full moon seem funny.” Tonks looked at him almost dreamily. “Did the balloon do the trick?” she asked. Remus smiled mellowly. “No, not this time. I had to switch to the fart cushion.” Tonks snorted into her Whiskey. “Ohhhh, I love that one.” Remus had a hard time believing he was actually joking quite light heartedly about his condition with the woman he fancied. Maybe he could actually…”Glad the Muggle is fine” Moody said gravelly, effectively stopping all of Remus´ thoughts. “What?” Tonks looked at him in surprise. “Believe me, I wasn´t happy when Albus came here with a Muggle to babysit but,” Moody took a sip out of his flask. “She seems to fit in well. Keeps you younglings from losing your heads. Well, except that one” he twitched his head toward Sirius. “Has a grounding effect on you lot. I like it. Keeps Black in line as well. Can´t hurt” he shrugged. Remus let his eyes wonder over you and Sirius. The way he seemed to gravitate towards you all the while seeming calmer than he had ever seen him. “Yea” he said. “That reminds me. Something strange happened when we got up to the library.” Moody gave him a sidewards glance. “Go on” he drawled. “Well, when we saw the boggart, Sirius basically threw himself between it and ___.” Moody made an impatient gesture with his hand and Remus continued. “The boggart was definitely fixated on him then but…it didn´t change form. I just assumed…you know. His time in Azkaban. I thought his greatest fear would be to be back there, but… It was still Albus. Threatening to erase her memories.” Tonks looked momentarily confused until her eyes widened like galleons. “Well, well” Moody said. “Let´s leave it to a Muggle to show us all what´s inevitably important.”

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As always I hope you enjoyed this part. If you did, please interact with this post however you see fit :) I truly hope that the next part doesn´t take me this long. If you have read everything so far, THANK YOU! It truly means a lot^^

If you want to be tagged in the next part, let me know :)

@twilightlover2007

@momorina

[vanwithhands]

*professor farnsworth voice* Good news everyone, exactly one person said they wanted to hear about my Nveraft ocs so you all have to hear about it!

Tommelise Thimbleton- Hans Christian Andersen’s Thumbelina. She’s a fairy swarm keeper ranger; in the story of Thumbelina she essentially wanders the wilderness making friends and enemies with all these little creatures and eventually marries the fairy prince and becomes a fairy herself. I imagine her as being pixie sized but being essentially upgraded to a fairy princess she can do the enlarge spell and stuff to be roughly human sized. But after she wed the fairy prince she eventually becomes queen of the fairies. And time is warped in fey so she was only there for a couple of years but in the human realm it was two centuries. Anyway the evil fairy usurped the crown and killed her hubby but allowed her to live which allowed her swarm, which is a bunch of very angry songbirds, to help her escape. So she escapes to the human realm trying to find her family from back in the day but it’s been 200 years so they’re all dead af. So now she knows bc the evil fairy spared her she owes her a favor and is waiting for that to be cashed. Because of this, and because her swarm is super aggro and obsessed with keeping her safe she cannot die until she fulfills her favor to the fairy. She’s real Rosamund energy, so tragic but so Disney princess energy.

Grethel Von Schtumph- Hansel and Gretel. Human Ghostslayer Bloodhunter. Grethel lied about killing the witch, and for sparing her life, earned a favor. She refuses to cash it, not when he parents died or all the time she and her brother have been nearly killed. Hopping from town to town, Grethel managed to do fairly well for herself and her brother, but the darkness was never far behind, and they were forced to flee a town that could have been their him after the Snow Queen came. The witch was not so easily cowed: when Grethel and Hans were trekking through the snowy forest, starving and freezing, a candy house appeared. Grethel was forced to come clean about sparing the witch, and Hans was furious. He’d been hearing the witch’s voice in his head for years, beckoning him to join her, and thought he was going crazy, and now knew that Grethel had a way to help them but had never used it for fear of the witch. Grethel, dying of starvation and weakened, could stop Hans as he took the witch’s favor to spare their lives, entering the candy house. Grethel fell unconscious and woke up strong and healthy once more, in a no longer snowy forest, but he brother was gone. Now she seeks to find him and kill the witch.

Hans Hagenvolk- Hansel and Gretel. Human Witherbloom Druid. When Hans entered the candy house, starving, he took three bites of the door. The door immediately slammed shut behind him and when he opened it Grethel was gone, the deal fulfilled. The witch knew he was special and wanted him to learn magic under her to become a witch himself. Hans refused, but the candy he had eaten from the house beget that he owed the witch three favors. She used the first to convince him to study magic. Two remain, but Hans, fetching alchemy supplies in a nearby town, heard tell of a teenage girl hunting down a witch, and fled to find his sister. The favors remain, and Hans fears how the witch will use them.

Princess Mareika “Mitzi” Irmingard Volkmar- The Twelve Dancing Princesses or The Worn Out Dancing Shoes. She’s a human twilight cleric, later multi class into creation bard. When she and her sisters were young they fell in love with twelve princes from a strange secret realm, but their father found out and sealed the princes away, cursing them to dance forever. The princesses were married off, some became knights, but Mitzi became a priestess to avoid having to marry, and because she hoped to learn how to break the princes curse. Years past until on the day the curse should have been broken, Mitzi and her eldest sister Frieda, the only one who remained in the castle with her, staged a coup, killing their father and Frieda’s husband, who would have been king. But when the curse was lifted they found that the princes had died of exhaustion in their curse. Frieda, having been trapped in a loveless marriage, her only solace that one day she would meet her true love again, went mad with grief. She studied occult magic and became the Snow Queen, obsessed with freezing over the world and her loved ones so they would be in stasis, not ravaged by the forces of time as her prince had been. Mitzi resolved to try to save her sisters and their families and find a way to defeat the Snow Queen. That was fifteen years ago, and since, Frieda has killed or frozen most of their family, all remaining is a nephew that Mitzi managed to save, and her sister Lenora, a knight who was last seen in Shoeberg, who she now searches for, but death, and her sister, follow her.

[engie-ivy]

After the betrayal, after the murder, Remus wonders if he could've known? After all, hasn't it always been clear Sirius Black is mad?

Wolfstar Angst. There are some Fluffy moments in between, but it comes down to Angst.

Never Like This

Don’t cry.

The ceremony is drawing to an end. Soon, all that needs to be said, will have been said. Which seems absurd to Remus. How can all ever be said? There’s so much to say, for most of which words don’t even exist. Still, the final words will soon have been spoken, and they’ll walk to the cemetery of Godric’s Hollow, where members of the Potter family have been buried for generations. Where Lily and James will have their last resting place.

Don’t cry.

Not now, not here, not in front of all these people. Remus can feel their eyes burning on his back. He can just imagine the conversations.

“Is that-?”

“Yeah, that’s him!”

“That scrawny, pale fellow? He’s the Werewolf who fought in The Order?”

“Poor guy, all his friends are dead now. Well, except for the one who’s hopefully wishing he were dead.”

“Hey, weren’t they...?”

“They say they were.”

“And he never realised...?”

“Apparently not.”

“How naive can someone be.”

It’s only in his head, and he can’t actually hear anyone talking, but it seems real to him. He won’t break down in front of all these people. He won’t show that kind of vulnerability.

Don’t cry. Be a man, Lupin. Don’t cry.

Immediately, he can hear Lily’s voice in his head: “Remus John Lupin. Crying is a valid way of expressing your emotion, whether you’re a man or a woman. I will not hear such nonsense out of your mouth!”

Involuntarily, Remus lets out a laugh, and oh, Merlin, that’s probably even worse than crying. Suddenly, the whole situation seems utterly absurd to him. A room full of people staring at the Werewolf Order member whose friends are all killed, waiting for him to fall apart, and here he is, fighting the urge to start laughing. They’ll think he’s gone mad. It’s what they said about Sirius, innit?

He remembers the resentment in Alastor Moody’s eyes.

“There’s not going to be a trial, Lupin. It’s no use. The man has lost every ounce of sanity. You want to know how the Aurors found him? Standing between his victims, the remains of those Muggles he blasted to pieces, gruesome enough to give even the most experienced Auror trouble sleeping, laughing. He was laughing, Lupin. He’s mad. Besides, with everyone knowing he was the Secret Keeper and all the witnesses that saw him murder Pettigrew, we hardly need a trial. We’ll lock him up in Azkaban and that’ll be the last you see of him.”

Even worse was probably the pity in Emmeline Vance’s eyes, when she hugged him tight.

“You couldn’t have known, Remus. You can’t blame yourself, okay? You couldn’t have known!”

Couldn’t he have known? Didn’t he already know Sirius Black was mad? He has said it often enough.

“You’re mad,” Remus said, staring incredulously at Sirius’ grinning face.

He surely hoped the boy was not, as he was to spend the next seven years sharing a dorm with him. But the boy had just informed him that he, in their first week at Hogwarts, had already figured out how to break in into the Slytherin dorms and had managed to sneak into Hogsmeade to purchase a load of Dung Bombs.

Remus knew he didn’t have to count on their other dormmate to be a voice of reason, as James had a similar grin on this face as Sirius. Remus knew he should say no, be the responsible one, that going along with them would only end up getting him in trouble.

But Remus took one look at Sirius’ grinning face, and he already knew he was going to get into a lot of trouble the upcoming years.

“You’re mad,” Remus choked, trying to fight back tears.

Sirius blinked at him, not understanding all the emotion. They had been lying on Remus’ bed, trying to plan a prank to get back at Slytherin for cheating in the latest Quidditch match.

“We can’t do it tomorrow night,” Sirius had said. “James has detention then. And of course not the night after, as it’s the full moon, so you’ll be off doing your Werewolf thing.”

It was just a simple, offhanded comment, like it didn’t make Remus’ entire world come crumbling down. Remus didn’t even have the state of mind to deny it. “Y- you... you know?” He had stammered.

“Oh, right. Yeah,” Sirius had said absentmindedly. “We figured it out a couple of weeks ago.” Then, he had grinned at Remus. “I must say, Moony, that’s your nickname now by the way, I always knew there was a wicked side to you, but this exceeds my expectations! Bloody brilliant, mate.”

So Remus had called Sirius mad, because how could he not mind? How could he not be disgusted with him? How could he not demand Remus to be expelled?

Sirius just shrugged. “I might be a little mad. Does run in the family.”

“You’re mad,” Remus chuckled.

Sirius had just informed him of his most recent crazy idea. He had learned that Werewolves aren’t dangerous to other animals, so he wanted to become an Animagus, to keep Remus company during the full moon, and perhaps prevent him from harming himself. Sirius obviously had no idea how difficult, and potentially dangerous, it is to become an Animagus. There’s a reason why the Ministry is monitoring the process so carefully. It’s quite impossible for a Hogwarts student to pull it off.

“I’m gonna tell James and Pete!” Sirius said enthusiastically, before dashing out of the room.

Remus fondly shook his head and focused back on his book. Typically Sirius. He would be obsessed with some crazy idea for a while, and then move on to the next. Sirius would surely put it out of his head once he finds out how much time and effort it takes to become an Animagus.

“You’re mad,” Remus murmured, barely preventing his voice from breaking.

He was sitting on his knees, his face pressed against the big, black dog sitting in front of him, his hands clutching his soft fur. “I can’t believe you actually did it... I can’t believe you would go through all that effort... For me?”

The dog shifted, and suddenly Remus was resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder, while gripping Sirius’ shirt.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and held him while he sobbed. “You’re worth it, Moony. And we’re never going to let you go through that alone again, okay?”

“You’re mad,” Remus said breathlessly, wide-eyed staring up at Sirius, his lips still tingling from the feel of Sirius’ lips being pressed against them.

They were standing on top of the Astronomy Tower. Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup, and there was a party going on in the Gryffindor Tower. Remus had gone up to the Astronomy Tower for some air, and Sirius had followed him. Remus had told him he didn’t have to, as surely there was a lot more excitement for him at the party. As usual, pretty girls with sweet smiles had been throwing themselves at Sirius all evening. As a response, Sirius had kissed him.

“Why...” Remus stammered, his heart beating wildly and his stomach fluttering.

Sirius cupped his cheek. “Because it’s you, Moony. It has always been you.”

“You’re... mad,” Remus panted.

He was lying in bed, clothes discarded on the floor, while Sirius insisted on kissing every scar on his body.

“Beautiful,” Sirius murmured against his skin. “You’re so beautiful.”

Remus laughed breathlessly, and took Sirius’ face in his hands, pulling him up to his face to properly kiss him.

“You’re mad,” Remus whispered, shifting his eyes from the star-scattered sky to meet Sirius’ gaze.

“Not the reaction I was hoping for,” the man replied.

Remus lifted their intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of Sirius’ hand. “Just making sure you know. And to be clear, I love you too.”

“You’re mad,” Remus smiled, spinning around in Sirius’ arms.

Sirius smiled back at him, brighter than all the fairy lights illuminating the dance floor together. “Madly in love.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Madly drunk I’d say.”

Sirius grinned. “I’m allowed to be a little drunk. My best man duties are done.”

Remus laughed as Sirius dipped him, feeling happy, carefree, and in love, and maybe a little drunk himself.

“You’re mad,” Remus gasped, falling to his knees, trying to control his breathing.

“You can’t do that, Padfoot! You can’t!”

“He tried to hex you from behind!” Sirius argued.

Remus glared at him. “You can’t just bloody jump between me and a Death Eater’s curse! You could’ve...” His chest constricted and he struggled for air. “You could’ve died. You could’ve died because I wasn’t properly watching my back!”

Sirius dropped down on his knees in front of him, and soon came the familiar feeling of Sirius’ arms being wrapped around him, pulling him against his chest. “But I didn’t. I’m okay. We’re okay.”

Remus let out a shaky breath. “Promise me. Promise me you’ll never do that again. I can’t lose you, Pads.”

“I can’t lose you either, Moony,” Sirius whispered. “That’s why I can’t make that promise. I acted on instinct seeing you in danger, and I can’t promise I won’t do it again.”

“You’re mad,” Remus spoke softly, staring down at his cup of tea.

“They’ll come after you. Him, and all his followers.”

“I’ll go into hiding,” Sirius replied.

“But you won’t have a Fidelius Charm to protect you!” Remus snapped, lifting his head.

“We said we’d do anything to keep Harry safe,” Sirius argued. “We all did. I’m the best choice-”

“Exactly!” Remus interrupted. “And everyone knows you are. Isn’t it better with this sort of thing to not go for the most logical choice?”

Sirius avoided Remus’ eyes.

“Look, Sirius,” Remus sighed. “I know you’d never tell, I do. But no one has dived deeper into the Dark Arts as He has, and who knows what methods He has to pry the information from you? Isn’t it better to go with a Secret Keeper no one will suspect?”

Sirius turned his gaze back to Remus, his expression pained. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but then closed it again, squeezing his eyes shut. When he eventually spoke, there was a forced calm in his voice. “I know what I’m doing, Remus.” He reached out and took Remus’ hand in his. “Please, you have to trust me in this.”

And Remus had.

If Sirius could do that, if Sirius could hold Remus’ hand, look him in the eyes with that sincere, vulnerable expression on his face, ask him to trust him, and then turn around and destroy everything Remus held dear, then it could’ve all been a lie.

It had all been a lie.

Each lingering gaze, each soft, private smile, each reassuring touch, each slow, loving kiss, each whispered word of ‘I love you’, a lie. And Remus had let himself happily be lied to, blinded by his foolish and naive belief in true love.

Remus really couldn’t have known. Alright, maybe he’d always known Sirius was mad, but not like this. Never like this.

[meadow-roses]

Hey! I just followed you and I keep seeing mentions of your original stories. Would you be willing to tell me a little bit about them? No pressure, of course, but I'm very interested!

I would be more than happy to!

Right now I've got two(ish) that I'm working on, one is a fantasy adventure surrounding a shapeshifter war. Lord Dreganoth, a champion among dragons, is no longer content ruling only his own kind. Dragons have always been the heroes of every war, but now they are the ones pillaging and burning. The Griffon kingdom is the last standing in opposition, and Crown Prince Galarius is desperate for a way to stop Dreganoth, but he possesses the soul of a Unicorn and is practically immortal. Aris has had magical amnesia since she was a child and has no idea who did this to her, or why Dreganoth so desperately wants her dead. She and Galarius have a feeling if they can break the curse, she might actually know how to stop him.

The other story is a collab with @masterfuldoodler set in the universe we've been working on together. It splits into several different stories. One follows the Keepers, immortal guardians of space and time battling against the wizard Tevlar, "Chaos" who has spent ages mutating the world into his own image. Ketsler is their leader, the second most powerful wizard. Skylar is a part-human medieval warrior with wind magic and a dragon companion named Gigi. Felix is a cyberpunk secret agent, and Betty is their "secretary". Haru, Ketsler's apprentice, occasionally joins them. August is the one mainly in charge of this story.

The other story set in this universe follows Joden, Jacer and Twylla. A world of anthropomorphic animals, you can read more worldbuilding here:

There's more to it now cause I wrote that months ago but you can get the general idea. XD Joden is separated from his wife and son, and realizes the only way they can ever safely be together again is if the forest is freed from the tyranny of the foxes. He teams up with Jacer, a young cheetah lord, and then Tracy, an ex-soldier who rebels at the cruelty of his fellow foxes. The two of them uncover a deeper threat to the forest then just the spreading fox empire and save not just their world but another world from the spread of Tevlar's dark magic. Twylla leads the raccoons to overthrow the foxes, and I've got a few ideas for that plotline that I'm working on cementing. 👀

[tamorapierce]

Tammy's Spring 2020 Reading Recommendations For the Bored

Sooner or later the bookhounds among us are going to start joining my relentless song, from age five on up, of “I don’t have anything to read!!!!”

 I am here to help.  In this space, as I get to it (knowing, as my readers do, that I have no sense of deadline), I will be posting a constant set of collections of book titles by authors my team and I have read and will recommend in a wild variety of genres and for a wild variety of ages.  (And I’ll give a short hint as to the subject of the first book/series—if I did them all I’d never finish this.)  This last is for the many of you who are reading teen and adult books in grade and middle school, and those adult readers who are reading teen and kidlit. These people are for those who love books and don’t care who is supposed to be reading them.  

 Also, you may have to look far and wee, since we will be drawing upon not only recently published books but older ones that we have either read recently or that we read long ago and have re-read or have never forgotten.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the writing is archaic.  If you’re a true nutsy reader like the rest of us, you won’t care.

 -Tammy Pierce

                                                        *     *     *

Assume the book came out within the last 2 years unless I put LO next to the title, which means you have to check libraries and bookstores online and paper for copies.

 *     *     *

 Diana Wynne Jones  LO

A generation or two of fantasy writers, particularly those who love humor, bow to this woman as our goddess.  Not only was she out of her mind in a very British and manic way, but with her TOUGH GUIDE TO FANTASYLAND she taught a number of us to ditch some ill-considered tropes of our genre.  If you write historic fantasy in particular, move heaven and earth to track this book down.  There’s a bonus: some of the entries will make you laugh till you cry.

           She is best known for her books for middle grade and teens, but they are enjoyable for all readers.  I cannot list them all here because my fingers will break (curse you, arthritis!), but these titles will give you a jumping-off point.  And remember, authors change with each book, so you won’t encounter the same author with each title as the author you read in the previous one!

           The Chrestomanci books, all in the same universe, in order of story,

                       not publication

Charmed Life  (1977) An innocent lad follows his plotting egotistical sister to live with England’s chief wizard

The Lives of Christopher Chant (1988)

Conrad’s Fate (2005)

Witch Week (1982)

The Magicians of Caprona (1980)

Short stories

 The Dalemark Quartet begins with

The Spellcoats (1979)

3 sequels

 The Derkholm books are

Dark Lord of  (1998)

Year of the Griffin (2000)

  The Tough Guide to Fantasyland is standalone, but is a kind of offshoot of the Derkholm books.  You don’t have to have read the Derkholm books to get Tough Guide!

 There are other books and stories by Jones—I’ll let you find them on your own.

  Philip Pullman

To this day I am unable to call him anything but Mr. Pullman—that’s how much in awe of the man I am.  We’ve had dinner together, talked on the phone, talked at an event or two, done a conversation on audio with Christopher Paolini—it’s still Mr. Pullman to me.  (I was an assistant in a literary agency when I discovered his work, and I never recovered.) He is, in a word, brilliant, and his interests range through all kinds of areas, particularly history and religion.  I could have talked with him forever that night we had dinner, but the poor man had jet lag and I let him go to collapse.  It was one of the best exchanges of ideals, values, and books I’ve ever had.  

Read his work carefully, because what he discusses is never just the story on top.  No matter what he writes, he is making strong points about social justice, human nature, religion, and history without preaching.  He is one of the few male writers out there who can write female characters as people, not Something Different.  And you never know, with his work, where he will go next.

 The Ruby in the Smoke,

book 1,  the Sally Lockheart mysteries

Victorian mysteries with a female hero and male assistants,

           The Book of Dust and sequel,

first 2 books of The Secret Commonwealth

           His Dark Materials trilogy

                       The Golden Compass

                       2 other titles                

           THE COLLECTORS

           LYRA’S OXFORD

           THE WHITE MERCEDES

           FAIRY TALES FROM THE BROTHERS GRIMM

           I WAS A RAT!

           TWO CRAFTY CRIMINALS

           COUNT KARLSTEIN

           (I will stop here and let you find the rest. Most are available as Nook books.)

  Sharon Shinn

I discovered Sharon Shinn with JOVAH’S ANGEL, but a shortage of funds left me unable to pursue my interest (I am an economic disaster with libraries, so I buy rather than borrow) until, with a job and money to spend, I spotted THE SAFE-KEEPER’S SECRET.  It is the story of a medieval-ish world and a small village where a baby was left with a childless couple.  She is raised as their daughter and discovers, as she grows, that her mother is an important, a Safekeeper, the person to whom a secret can be told, relieving the person who told it of the weight of guilt from it, to be carried by the Safekeeper until the owner either decides to tell or dies.  (And if they die without giving permission, the Safekeeper never reveal the secret.)  The baby who is adopted by this town’s safekeeper becomes the safekeeper in her turn.

           The next book is THE TRUTHTELLER’S TALE, about a girl who acquires the gift (??) of telling the truth, whether the person she tells it to wants to hear it or not. The third book is The Dream-maker’s Magic.  The three main characters now learn why they have been brought together over the course of the two earlier books, in what I thought was a satisfying, if unusual, conclusion.

           And there’s more!  I just did the two I love best!

             THE SAFEKEEPER’S SECRET (book 1, two sequels)

           ARCHANGEL (4 books)

           TWELVE HOUSES (5 books)

           ELEMENTAL BLESSINGS (4 books)        

SHIFTING CIRCLE (2 books)

           UNCOMMON ECHOES

           GENERAL WINSTON’S DAUGHTER

           GATEWAY

 Daniel Jose Older

 I was a Daniel Jose Older fan before I was sent DACTYL HILL SQUAD for a blurb (preodactyls in flight!  Of all sizes!  Confederate spies!  Thuggish bigot northerners!  The backlash of Gettysburg and the forced recruitment of blacks for the war effort! And strong, smart, fierce kids of various ages, sizes, colors, national heritage, and skills doing their best to help the war against the slaves, keep escaped slaves safe, duck the cruel managers of the homes and jails where they are being kept, find a half-decent meal, free other kids in trouble, learn who’s killing their friends, and help the dactyls!  That’s part of it, anyway!

Yeah, I loved it.  And there’s at least one new book, and once I’ve mowed though that, there are his older teen books, and his grownup mysteries, with their half-dead taxi driver who doubles as a part-time troubleshooter for the undead powers in his Bone Street Rhumba series.  {happy sigh}

  Edgar Allen Poe

Yes, some of these are reminders of why we ended up to be the readers we are and to nudge us to corrupt—I mean, “introduce”—­new readers to the glories that are our legacies.

­

THE COMPLETE TALES AND POEMS OF EDGAR ALLEN POE

           Here are the greats:

poems like “The Raven,” and “Annabelle Lee”

stories like “The Fall of the House of Usher,” “The Telltale Heart,” and  ::shudder:: “The Pit and the Pendulum” (yes, a deep pit and a swinging pendulum topped with a razor-edged blade will be featured in this story).  

My dad would read these to us on dark and stormy nights when we lived near the Pacific ocean, when the fog came rolling in, softening every sound, when there were no cars driving by and no other sounds in our house but his deep voice and the crackle of the fire in the fireplace.  We would listen, soundless, as he wove the stories and poems around us and the foghorn sounded offshore.

           That’s the power of Poe.

  N. K. Jemisin

I think I began with Jemisin’s THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS, soon followed by its sequel THE BROKEN KINGDOMS.  The series ended with a third book, THE KINGDOM OF THE GODS.  She presented a rich and varied world from the aspects of people of different classes, showing the growth of societies and their formation.  I have a secret passion for society-building and social interaction, and whether or not a book is difficult to read (as Jemisin’s books are in spots because she refuses to insult a reader by talking down to them) is immaterial.  I want the world and I want the characters, and with her far-reaching mind and her respect for her characters she delivers each and every time.  I have read almost everything she’s written since that first trilogy: if I’ve missed something, it’s because I was in the middle of a deadline and on the road and somehow didn’t see it.  I’ll catch up!  This is just a sample:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

 The City They Became (pub’d April 2020)

 The Inheritance Trilogy:

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

           2 book sequels

Novella: The Awakened Kingdom, 2014

                       Triptych: Shades in Shadow, 2015 (3 short stories) 

             The Dreamblood Duology:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

                       Two sequels

 The Broken Earth series:

         The Fifth Season (August 2015)

                       Two book sequels

And there are plenty of short stories out there.  I may even have missed a book or twelve!

For those who prefer to hear my ramble in person, a video!

[moonsstarss]

Euphemia Potter and Sirius Black

The first time Sirius went to James’ house, was in the second break from their first year. James was going home to his family and he had asked him mom if his new beste mate could come with him to join them for Christmas.

At first, Euphemia didn’t approve of it, having another 11 year old in their house while she wanted to celebrate Christmas with her small family. But after having heard James talk about how the boy had a bad home situation, she said yes to James’ idea.

Euphemia and Fleamont were carefull with the black haired boy. They knew he was vulnerable, (even tho Sirius claimed he wasn’t) They were carefull because he do, in fact, was a Black. But after having him at theirs for one night, they realized he really wasn’t like a Black, not at all.

Sirius was polite, he smiled and talked a lot. He was nice to both Euphemia and Fleamont and he cared a lot about their son.

The first moment Euphemia realised how bad Sirius needed a real mom, was when she walked in on the boy having a nightmare one night.

Sirius was breathing heavily. Whimpering and silcent tears walking down his small face.

Euphemia softly touched Sirius’ cheek as Sirius flinched awake. He sat up fastly, gasping for air and breathing fast.

“Shhhh, its alright sweetheart.”

Euphemia hugged the boy close, ignoring the flinches and his shaking body. Just talking softly to him, telling him it was alright.

“Everything will be alright, shhh, it’s okay.”

Sirius had stopped crying, feeling safe here.

The second time Sirius was at James’ home, was when he was around 16.

He had had an awfully huge fight with his mother and father. Being beaten up and his body still shaking from the curses.

When he made the Potters he collapsed on the grass of their garden. Feeling the blood drip from his body and every bone felt broken.

He was gasping for air heavily, trying to breath but not getting any air. He saw everything going black, letting out a last frustrated cry.

When he woke up he saw Euphemia bending over him, looking worried, sad and angry.

Sirius let out another cry, trying to say he was sorry but not getting everything out of his mouth.

“Its okay hun, I’ve already told James and Fleamont. We’re all mad at the Blacks and we’re letting you stay here for as long as we can, we’ll find a solution.”

Sirius’ eyes changed from scared till peacefull.

He was home.

Sirius’ his body still hurted a bit but he was doing better and better. The Potters had taken him in, he didn’t think he’s deserve it but they hadn’t listened to that and had said it should’ve always been this way. He was one of theirs.

Sirius heard a knock on his door.

“Sweetheart, James is getting the food at the store with dad, can you help me with preparing the dessert?”

Sirius knew this was honestly just a moment for Euphemia to be with him. She had been trying to be as much with Sirius as possible. Let the boy show he was safe, and theirs. Sirius didn’t mind.

“Coming!”

As Sirius walked downstairs he saw Euphemia was already melting some chocolate. She gave him a sweat smile as he smiled back, rolling up his sleeves and putting his hair in a loose bun.

“You can call me mom you know, I’ve told you thousand times, you never say it.” Euphemia smiled.

Sirius shrugged.

After half an hour Fleamont and James came back as Fleamont spoke.

“... so as I talked to Mia she asked about what you were doing and I told her you were with our other son and-“

Sirius interrupted.

“Uhm, Flea- no wait. Uhhh. Okay listen... I really appreciate you guys calling me your son and all but I’m still a Black and you have James and I’m not your son as much as I’d love to be..”

James, Fleamont and Euphemia looked at the boy.

The short boy with the black hair till his shoulders. The boy who tried to hide his feeling even tho he was falling apart. The boy who always got a bright blush when James called him his brother.

James smiled. “It’s alright bro, you are my bother honestly you’re not going to change that.”

Fleamont nodded as Euphemia gave him a hug.

Sirius hugged back, closing his eyes knowing he didn’t want I any other way, really.

The third time Sirius was at the Potters was when he stood at their door, well Euphemia’s door.

Fleamont had died from Dragon Pox, and James... He was hiding, hiding with the love of his life. Lily and James were safe, together with Harry.

Sirius used to be the secret keeper of James and Lily, but he had changed with Peter last moment.

Sirius hAd to tell someone, anyone who listened really. He couldn’t tell his friends tho... There was a spy in the middle of them and Sirius didn’t know who it was. It could be anyone. He had to tell someone who would definitely not tell anyone else.

Euphemia had be the first person Sirius thought of.

She was James’ mom and would never ever betray him.

Euphemia opened the door, pointing her wand at Sirius.

“What did Sirius say to me the first time he met me?”

Sirius smirked, it had been truly hilarious.

“Hello miss Potter, I’m James’ new friend and I would like to inform that James once peed his pants while brushing his teeth walking on his hands.”

Euphemia laughed, letting her boy in.

“What’s wrong honny?”

“Well...”

After having talked to her for hours, Sirius finally felt a little lighter. Sirius had felt weird but he whole situation and didn’t really know what to do.

“So Peter is the secret keeper?”

Sirius nodded.

“Merlin I made a mistake didn’t I.”

Sirius talked silently, his head in his hands, shaking furiously.

Euphemia pulled him in a hug.

“You did nothing wrong, and it’s gonna be alright.”

Sirius nodded.

Two weeks later everything went wrong.

Sirius had sent Remus to Euphemia after having heard nothing of Peter.

He was going behind him, making sure everything went alright.

Sirius arrived at Godrics Hollow, his stomach hurting from the nerves and his wand ready. As he walked around the corner he began to run, seeing the house of James and Lily.

He only began to slow down when he saw no lights shining. The house wasn’t a house anymore. Only ruins were left.

Sirius began to feel hopeless.

“N-no! JAMES!”

He ran towards the house, not bothering to look around for anyone watching.

“JAAAMES!!! LILYYYY!!!”

He ran inside as the first thing he saw was his best mate lying on the stairs, motionless.

“N-no... No please no- James.”

Tears streamed down Sirius’ face as he felt his stomach drop.

He fell over his best friend hugging his bother close.

He only realised he still had to be strong when he heard a soft sound coming from upstairs.

“L-LILY?!”

Sirius ran upstairs, a second heartbreaking sight crashing over him.

Lily lying in the ground.

“Fuck-“

Another wave of tears hit him as Sirius realised the two most important people were dead.

Sirius heard a cry. Harry.

Harry was still sitting in his little bed.

Sirius took him out as fast as he could. Hugging Harry as close as he could.

“S-shhhh, it’ll b-be alright P-prongslet.”

He heard a loud sound as Sirius drew his wand. Tears still streaming over his face, holding Harry tightly with his other arm, protecting him at all cost.

It only took a few seconds when Sirius saw Hagrid. The giant had a sad look on his face as he looked at Sirius, who began shaking his head, crying harder, stepping back.

“N-no no no, please no, not Harry.”

Hagrid looked at Sirius with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry, Dumbledore’s order. Said I should get baby Harry to take him to his aunt ‘n uncle.”

Sirius shaked his head, disbelief showing in his eyes.

“No but, but he’s everything I have- please...”

Hagrid stepped closer as he pointed his umbrella at Sirius.

“I don’t wanna do this.”

Sirius kept Harry close to his chest. Thinking about Remus and Euphemia.

He gave Harry a small kiss to his head.

“T-take care of him.”

Hagrid took Harry as he walked away.

Sirius stood there, a numb feeling in his chest, breathing heavily, tears still streaming down his face. Hagrid had taken his motorbike.

Sirius slowly walked out of the house, seeing dementors everywhere. His eyes grew as he started running, the dementors on his heels.

Sirius heard someone scream, “THERE HE IS! ITS BLACK!”

Lights fired beside him as Sirius casted a protection charm.

After what felt like hours of fighting Sirius proceeded to arrive at Euphemia’s, hoping she and Remus weren’t also dead.

“EUPHEMIA! OPEN THE DOOR PLEASEE...”

Sirius fell against the door. Just when he thought he wouldn’t take it anymore, the door opened.

Euphemia opened it, her eyes full of concern.

“Oh sweathear-“

“They’re dead... Pettigrew killed them and they’re after m-me. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING... Please...”

Remus walked up behind the two of them as Euphemia was holding Sirius close.

A group of people of the minestry came running towards them, they heard them scream in the distance.

“WHAT DO I DO.”

Sirius was screaming hopeless, everything falling apart and not knowing what to do.

“Keep him safe, p-please keep Remus safe, and make sure y-you’ll get to take care of Harry, he’s alive, t-they’re taking him to Petunia and Vernon. I love you and thank you for everything.”

“No Sirius-“

The people of the minestry got close, Sirius felt a hand grab his clothes.

He screamed, seeing Remus run into the house.

He felt a hand hit him as Sirius hit and knocked everything he could hit.

Screaming and crying.

“Let him go he didn’t do anything!”

Euphemia was screaming against the people, trying to get her son back.

“MOMM! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE MOM HELP ME!”

Sirius stopped fighting back as saw even his Euphemia looked hopeless.

She stepped forward slamming the door behind her so Remus was safe.

“GIVE HIM A TRIAL! HES THE ONLY THING IVE GOT LEFT AND YOU WONT TAKE MY OTHER SON FROM ME! I WONT ADMIT BOTH OF MY SONS LEAVING IN ONE NIGHT, BESIDES, HES INNOCENT.”

The people of the minestry of magic stopped hurting Sirius as they loosened the grip, not letting go yet.

After what felt like hours Sirius was sitting in the middle of a large room. People of the hearing looking at him. He felt so small.

His body was hurting and he felt the bruise they aurors hit grow.

The Veritaserum he has gotten at the beginning of the hearing started to impact him and he felt like something was taking over what he was saying.

The minister was about to talk when he cought Euphemia’s eye, his mom smiled at him. Sirius have her a faint smile back.

“Tonight we gather around for the trial of Sirius Orion Black. Mister Black,” Sirius flinched as he heard the name. He hadn’t been called so since he was 16.

“Is it true that you were James and Lily Potters secret keeper?”

“Partly.”

“Partly?” The minister looked confused and mad.

“I was in the beginning, but we changed the secret keeper.”

“Ehhhjj- Okay who is the secret keeper now then mister Black?”

Again Sirius flinched.

“Peter Pettigrew.”

The whole hall was looking at Sirius.

After a short silence the minister spoke again.

“And we’re is, Peter Pettigrew?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“We found the finger of Pettigrew. It was the only thing left from him, you blew him up.”

“No, Pettigrew is an animagus, he transformed into a rat and ran away.”

“Why would Pettigrew be an animagus?”

“Be.... Because our friend Remus Lupin is a werewolf and because Pettigrew James Potter and I became animagus for him... It’s easier for animals to be with werewolfs...”

Sirius looked down, knowing Remus would be so mad... He looked at Euphemia, she gave him a comforting smile.

“Find Peter Pettigrew!”

Euphemia took Sirius home, his case had been dismissed, they were going to keep an eye on him untill they found Pettigrew but he was allowed to go home.

Sirius was crying softly, cuddled up by his mom in her car. Not able to wait to go home. To see Remus. He was exhausted.

Euphemia opened the door as Sirius ran inside.

Remus stood up instantly, running toward Sirius.

Sirius threw himself on Remus, tears and limbs everywhere. Remus let out a harsh laugh, keeping Sirius close as he cried as well.

Sunlight was slowly rising trough the windows. A new day had started.

Euphemia looked at Sirius, smiling softly as she wiped away a tear.

Her boy would be okay.

[breaniebree]

A Second Chance

For those who have been asking... this is my master list once more:

ASC Chapter Titles as If They Were Friends Episodes

Part One: Harry’s First Year With His Dads (Chapters 1-49)

1. The One Where They Were Dead 2. The One Where the Rat Is Out of the Bag  3. The One Where James and Lily Die  4. The One Where Moony and Padfoot Make Up  5. The One Where Harry Meets Padfoot  6. The One Where Sirius Kidnaps Harry  7. The One Where Sirius Punches Vernon Dursley  8. The One Where Harry Meets Remus  9. The One Where Sirius and Harry Make Grilled Cheese  10. The One With Thea  11. The One Where Harry Asks What a Kiss Is  12. The One With the Library Card  13. The One Where They Remember the Past  14. The One With the Tonkses’  15. The One With Harry’s First Nightmare  16. The One With Professor Moony  17. The One With The Puppy  18. The One With the Second Best Day Ever  19. The One Where Harry Meets An Excellent Secret Keeper and Her Brother  20. The One Where Sirius Learns What He Missed in Azkaban  21. The One With the Brownies 22. The One With the Date  23. The One With the Weasleys  24. The One With the Bad Dreams  25. The One Where Sirius Learns the Key to Moony's Secret Pranking Success  26. The One With Operation Prank the Piss Out of Harry Potter  27. The One With the Wolfsbane Fight  28. The One Where the Marauders Discover A Wolf  29. The One With the Spanking  30. The One With the House Rules and Where Sirius and Ted Build a Treehouse 31. The One With the Wolf  32. The One Where Remus Tells Sirius To Deal with the Blacks  33. The One Where Harry Asks About Boobies  34. The One With the Locket  35. The One With Blackbird  36. The One With the Birthday Orgasms  37. The One With the Three Brothers  38. The One With Godric’s Hollow  39. The One Where Sirius Speaks French 40. The One With the First Christmas  41. The One With the Pensieve  42. The One With the Memories Part I  43. The One With the Memories Part II  44. The One When Padfoot and Prongs Become Blood Brothers  45. The One Where Harry Has A Sleepover  46. The One With the Tickle War  47. The One With the Viscount of Falmouth  48. The One With Roni  49. The One With the Birthday Planning 

Part Two: Harry Growing Up With A Family, Ages 7-11 (Chapters 50-61)

50. The One With the Best Birthday Ever  51. The One Where Padfoot and Moony Know Nothing About Sick Kids  52. The One Where Remus Slaps Sirius  53. The One With the Giant Cheese Fort 54. The One With Operation Get Lily Evans to Fall in Love With Prongs  55. The One Where Remus Thinks He’s a Very Bad Man  56. The One Where Harry Asks About Sex  57. The One Where Tonks Turns 17  58. The One Where Remus Feels Like He’s Robbing the Cradle  59. The One Where Remus Learns He Has A Mate  60. The One Where Sirius Shags the Realtor 61. The One With the Letter 

Part Three: First Year (Chapters 62-73)

62. The One Where Harry Gets Hedwig  63. The One Where Harry Understands the Fear of Voldemort  64. The One With The Sorting  65. The One Where Sirius Was Almost Bitten By a Panther… And Totally Didn’t Pee His Pants  66. The One With the Youngest Seeker In Over a Century 67. The One With the Three-Headed Dog  68. The One With Zee  69. The One With Sheer Dumb Luck  70. The One Where Sirius Lets Zee Drive His Bike  71. The One Where the Weasley Boys Come Over for Christmas  72. The One Where Minnie Tells Sirius To Get A Job  73. The One Where No One Listens So Harry Has to Do Everything and His Friends Follow Him So He Doesn't Die 

Part Four: Second Year (Chapters 74-105)

74. The One Where the Whole School Knows  75. The One Where Harry is Jealous  76. The One Where Sirius Eats Crow  77. The One Where Zee Meets Minnie  78. The One With the Proud Enough to Cry Letter 79. The One Where They Realize Their New Professor is a Moron  80. The One Where Remus Gets His Shit Together  81. The One Where Harry Meets His Fanboy  82. The One Where Binns Doesn’t Put His Class to Sleep For Almost Ten Whole Minutes 83. The One Where Sirius Finds Out  84. The One When Remus Punches Lockhart  85. The One With the Mad House Elf  86. The One With the Great Shoebox Capture  87. The One Where Sirius Tells Zee About the Marauders  88. The One Where Harry is Homesick  89. The One Where Sirius Says I Love You  90. The One With the Sex Talk 91. The One With Ted Walking in on Remus Fingering Tonks… And Remus Adds Another Finger  92. The One Where Draco Comes to Christmas  93. The One Where Sirius Actually Gets a Job  94. The One Where Sirius Asks About Cursed Scars  95. The One Where Remus Tells Tonks and She says ‘Duh!’  96. The One Where Fred Hears the Name Padfoot  97. The One With Peter’s Trial Part I  98. The One With Peter’s Trial Part II  99. The One Where Ginny Tells Harry She Has A Pen-Pal  100. The One With the Eyes As Green As a Fresh Pickled Toad  101. The One Where Tonks Is Under the Desk  102. The One Where Harry Writes in the Diary  103. The One Where It’s Not Follow the Butterflies  104. The One Where Sirius Is Sent Home Without An Explanation 105. The One Where Ginny is Scared Harry Will Never Speak To Her Again 

Part Five: Third Year (Chapters 106-143)

106. The One Where Sirius and Remus Demand Answers  107. The One With Prophecies and Horcruxes  108. The One Where Harry Learns to Drive  109. The One Where Bill and Charlie Talk About the Importance of Being A Good Big Brother 110. The One Where Sirius Realizes He Wants Zee Forever But Is Too Chicken To Say It 111. The One With Operation Fuck Up Voldemort’s Plans  112. The One Where Cissy Tattles on Abraxas  113. The One Where Harry Sees More Than He Should Between His Roommates  114. The One Where Colin Tells Ginny To Get Over It  115. The One Where Theo Comes Out  116. The One Where Sirius Tells Lucius If He Fucks Up He Will Kill Him  117. The One With the FUVP Pow-Wow  118. The One Where They Return to the Chamber of Secrets  119. The One Where Harry Finds Out  120. The One Where the Marauders Prank Snape 121. The One Where Draco and Theo Make Bad Detectives  122. The One With Nyx  123. The One Where Harry Throws a Tantrum  124. The One Where They Skive Off Class Because Harry Talks 125. The One Where Harry Asks Out Cho  126. The One With Harry’s First Date  127. The One Where Sirius, Remus, and Dumbledore Fuck Up  128. The One With Moody  129. The One Where Harry Gets Slapped  130. The One Where Sirius and Tonks Decide To Fuck With Snape  131. The One With Lily’s Ghost  132. The One With the Gaunt Property  133. The One With the Defence Club  134. The One With the Wizengamot  135. The One Where Harry Meets the Americans  136. The One Where They Forget to Tell Sirius  137. The One With the Insomniacs Club  138. The One Where Bellatrix Shows Up  139. The One With the Time Turner  140. The One With Umbitch's Creepy Song  141. The One With the Wolf in the Cage  142. The One Where Harry Shouts at Sirius and He Just Shouts Right Back  143. The One Where Both of Them Feel Like Shit 

Part Six: Fourth Year (Chapters 144-179)

144. The One With the Elder Wand  145. The One Where Sirius Tells Harry Not to Drink  146. The One Where Sirius Acts the Adult and Tells the Grangers  147. The One Where They Drink the Potion  148. The One Where Harry Can’t Change His Arm Back  149. The One Where Ginny Sees Harry Naked  150. The One When Harry Calls Remus a Bad Dog 151. The One Where Theo Goes to the Burrow  152. The One Where Harry Has a Fling  153. The One Where Sirius Panics Over Commitment  154. The One Where Zee Takes Harry Shopping  155. The One With the Quidditch World Cup  156. The One With Winky  157. The One With Babymort 158. The One Where Sirius Asks Zee to Move In  159. The One Where Snape Apologizes and Harry Thinks The World Ended  160. The One With the Pretty Boy, the Biggest Flirt, and the Flying House 161. The One Where Tonks Wants A Boob Job 162. The One Where Drama Queen Sirius Learns About Pens  163. The One Where Zee Just Wants A Damn Telephone But Sirius Can’t Stop Bitching 164. The One Where Girls Giggle and Ginny Looks Different 165. The One Where Harry Outflies a Dragon… Almost  166. The One Where Zee Tells The Paper to Back the Fuck Away from Her Son  167. The One Where Harry Thinks It’s the Formal Wear  168. The One Where Mr Weasley Thinks ‘Oh, Bloody Hell!' 169. The One Where Sirius Takes A Bath  170. The One Where Harry’s in Denial  171. The One Where Harry Thinks He Has Two Hostages  172. The One With the Love Potion  173. The One Where Zee Seduces Sirius in the Work Shed  174. The One With the Secret Swimming Pool  175. The One With the Bats From the Crotch 176. The One That Ends With ‘Oh Shit!’  177. The One Where Everyone Dies  178. The One With the Lullabye  179. The One Where Tonks Marks Remus 

Part Seven: Fifth Year (Chapters 180-222)

180. The One Where Remus Proposes  181. The One Where Lucius Gets Arrested  182. The One Where Remus Proposes Again and Harry Dies  183. The One With the Coconut Smell 184. The One Where Tonks Isn’t Pregnant 185. The One Where Dean Realizes He Fancies Seamus  186. The One With Baby, I Love You  187. The One Where Theo Meets Voldemort  188. The One Where Harry Calls Ginny His and Then Denies It  189. The One Where Everyone Breaks Out of Azkaban  190. The One With the War Council 191. The One Where Harry is Dumped  192. The One Where They Discuss The Size of Remus’ Package  193. The One Where Harry Learns About the Potters  194. The One Where Harry Finds the Tower Room  195. The One Where Zee’s in France  196. The One Where Harry Gets Constantly Interrupted  197. The One Where the Glacier Finally Melts  198. The One Where Harry Finally Asks  199. The One Where Sirius Cuddles and Zee Buys A Motorbike  200. The One Where Everyone Is Worried About Theo  201. The One With the Frying Pan  202. The One With the Fluke  203. The One Where Minnie Walks In  204. The One Where Remus Finds A Present Under the Tree  205. The One With Bellarosa and the Snake  206. The One Where Everyone Gets Motorbikes  207. The One Where Padfoot Suggests Pranking Umbitch to Fred and George  208. The One With the Great Escape from Umbitch  209. The One With Prince Finley and the Switching of Teacups  210. The One Where Theo is Courted and Dean Admits He's in Love  211. The One Where Hinny Says I Love You and the Fluke Continues  212. The One Where Sirius Picks Out A Star  213. The One With the Cathedral Star 214. The One Where Sirius Answers the Phone 215. The One Where George Gets the Girl  216. The One Where They Compare Proposals  217. The One Where Sirius Has the Man-Flu and Gives it to Zee  218. The One Where Ginny and Theo Are Kidnapped and Remus Hears Heartbeats  219. The One With the Thing After Learning the Thing  220. The One Where Everyone is in Shock 221. The One Where Zee Confirms  222. The One With the Will 

Part Eight: Sixth Year (Chapters 223-Present)

223. The One Where Remus Finally Lets Go  224. The One Where Hermione is Blind But Her Mum Isn’t 225. The One Where the Dragon’s in Trouble and George Snogs the New Bat 226. The One Where Ginny Tames Ebony and Theo Goes to Tara  227. The One With the Sovereign Chalice and Zee’s Dream  228. The One With the Party  229. The One Where Ginny Claims Her Man  230. The One Where Harry Has a Really Great Birthday  231. The One Where Harry Asks Remus For Sex Advice  232. The One With the Surfing  233. The One Where Harry Buys a Pgymy Puff  234. The One With the Naughty Dream  235. The One Where Harry’s Afraid of Grandpa  236. The One With the Race  237. The One Where Ron and Hermione Almost Fluke  238. The One Where Bill Gets a Headache  239. The One With Compass and Bad Puns  240. The One Where Harry Uses Parseltongue For Something New  241. The One Where Slughorn Is An Armchair  242. The One Where Its All Fluff  243. The One Where Draco Calls Blaise A Stupid Son of a Bitch  244. The One With the Patronus and the Lingerie  245. The One With Advanced Potion Making and World War One  246. The One With Luna’s Question  247. The One With All the Smut and Where Ron and Hermione Fluke Again 248. The One Where Minnie Freaks Out on Walburga  249. The One With the Fruit Basket  250. The One Where Percy Gets a Date and Remus Skives Off Work  251. The One With the Iron Blade  252. The One Where the Fairytale Ends  253. The One With the Golden Dagger  254. The One With Charlie’s Surprise  255. The One With The Bet  256. The One Where They Celebrate Christmas Without Sirius  257. The One With the Tantrum About Heels  258. The One Where Lucius Fucks Up  259. The One Where Tonks Plays Bad Auror  260. The One With the Goblin Potato 261. The One Where Fred is Scarred for Life  262. The One Where We Hear From Althea 263. The One Where Harry Is Told He Owes Theo A Fruit Basket 264. The One Where Neville Plants A Tree

[jaydicksummerexchange]

[ ❤ Works posted so far! ❤ ]

TODAY IS THE DAY! 

We have reached 118 Exchange works for 2020! Thank you, thank you to all our fabulous artists and writers who tapped that creative well and let JayDick rain down upon us. And thank you to everyone who has clicked on the link and left kudos and comments for our participants. They worked, so, so hard y’all! 

We’ll reveal all of our participants tomorrow, September 5, so get your score cards ready and see how many of your guesses were right!

Here are today’s releases!

A Kiss and a Kingdom by anonymous for TheWayneManner [Fic, Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/ Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fae, Fae & Fairies, Fae!Dick, Shade!Jason, Alternate Universe - Magic, Prince!Dick, Assassination Attempt(s), Diplomacy

Summary: The Fae Kingdom must work together to help their human brethren when a border conflict arises. Fae Prince Dick Grayson chooses Knight Jason Todd to be a human representative for the negotiations because something about Jason draws him in. Little does he know, he and Jason are spinning a spiderweb around themselves filled with romance, intrigue, and enemies.

The Blud is no Haven by anonymous for Fancy_Dragonqueen [ART, Mature, No Warnings Apply, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Mob, Mafia Dick Grayson, Mob Boss Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson is Not Nightwing, Jason Todd is Not Red Hood, Hooker Jason Todd, Fanart

Summary:  Dick Grayson is a policeman. Dick Grayson is a community hero. Dick Grayson has never, in fact, been on the right side of the law.

or

That one Mafia AU where Dick is Bludhaven's biggest mob boss and Jason is his right-hand (in more ways than one).

Gotham City Pride by anonymous for epistemology [ART, General Audiences, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: Digital Art, Fanart, Pride Parades, Asexual Character, Pansexual Character, Is this an AU? Who knows., JayDick Summer Exchange

Summary: ♫ Just two boys, hugging during pride month 'cause they're both gay. ♫

My Thoughts on You by anonymous for Morimaitar [FIC, Teen, No Warnings, JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Secret Crush, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, First Dates, First Kiss, Dick Grayson Has Issues, Alternate Universe - College/University

Summary: Left alone for the holidays, grumpy and a bit sad, all Dick Grayson wanted was to get a hot drink from his favourite coffee shop near campus. But little did he know that his life would take a much-needed turn when Jason Todd, his longtime crush, starts working as a barista there.

lit the fuse and missed the candle (i love you and despise you) by anonymous for Airdanteine [Fic, Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Warnings, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dick Grayson is Catlad | Stray, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Love/Hate, Love to hate to love, Hate SexAvoiding Sex Scenes with Violence and Intimacy Issues Is My Kink, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Past Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson, Past Dick Grayson/Rose Wilson, Past Dick Grayson/Harley Quinn, Jealous Jason Todd, Slut Shaming

Summary: “You are nothing,” Stray hisses, slashing Jason’s face with his unoccupied hand.

Jason lets him, smiling as the blood drips down his cheek.

“Oh baby,” he says, all low timbre and heat, “I’m everything to you.”

Spyral Teens by anonymous for ZeroMonster [ART, Gen, No Warnings, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: young spies, Brothers, Big Brother Dick, Little Wing - Freeform, Little Brother Jason, Spyral (DCU), AU, Dick Grayson is Agent 37, Batfamily (DCU), Jason in the 1st Dick's outfit for Spyral, sidekick's sidekick

Summary:  They are spies. Little spies. Meet Grayson-Lad and Kid Todd!

We Might Fall by anonymous for empires [FIC, Mature, No Warnings, Dick Grayson/ Jason Todd] 

Additional Tags: Batman Beyond - Freeform, Angst, Difficult Decisions, Retirement, Confessions, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Break Up, Moving On, Developing Relationship, Getting to Know Each Other, Getting Together, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson Gets a Hug, how to tag

Summary: Dick and Jason are together but they're not. They love each other but they won't ever admit it. There's too much history. Too much pain. Ideals that could never match. Choices that could only end with them hating one another. But as Jason makes a life-changing decision, Dick is forced to look back on his own life, the events that led him to become who he is today. He is forced to finally look at Jason in a whole new light.

Once Upon a Time.... by anonymous for naol [ART, Teen, No Warnings,  JayDick] 

Additional Tags: Digital Art, Little Red Riding Hood AU, Kemonomimi

Summary: "What pretty eyes you have.”, This was a fic prompt but a Red Riding Hood AU was too cute not to draw as a treat <3

will i change for good? by Anonymous for 3isme and TheWayneManner [Mature, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Fae, Curses, Curse Breaking, Beastmen - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, mysterious magical stranger dick grayson, jason todd is not a changeling, Dick Grayson is a Talon

Summary: 

PROMPT 3 for 3isme - Jason runs from the villagers that have hated him his whole life. They think he's a changeling. A child of the fae swapped with a human baby during infancy. He's not. Despite all the odd things that make him different from the others, he knows he's not. But They don't, and they will kill him if

PROMPT 1 for TheWayneManner - A Dark!Au of some sort. Horror and/or gothic elements. Heavy angst. Eerie vibes. NO Rape NO Underage.

Ideas: DarkFae!Dick, Mobster AU, Demon/Angel AU, Siren!Dick AU, Gothic/Horror AU, Dystopian AU, Vampire AU, Prostitute AU, Prison AU, Asylum AU... Really anything that has a dark twist to it, the boys struggling with their inner demons. BONUS: It would be awesome if the fic contained an element of forbidden love with it. Boys against the world kind of vibe.

Ambiguous or sad ending is welcome.

Favored to Win by anonymous for Fancy_Dragonqueen [Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Knifeplay, Porn With Plot, Alternate Universe - Mob, Bottom Jason Todd, Top Dick Grayson, Begging

Summary: When Jason agreed to throw fights or the mob, he was not expecting this. Jason had definitely Not had 'ass in the air, face on the floor' on tonight's bingo card. But he's not exactly complaining either...

All Washed Out by anonymous for stribirdf (timidGoddes)[FIC, Mature, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Battle for the Cowl, Batkids Age Reversal, Angst and Feels, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Difficult Decisions, Confessions, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Omega Dick Grayson, Alpha Jason Todd, True Mates,

Summary: Batman is dead. He is dead and everything is about to change. Still grieving for his father, Jason Todd, his son and first sidekick, has no choice but to take up the mantle his alpha left behind, continuing the legacy so that the streets of Gotham are always safe. Estranged from the family, Dick Grayson, the son who died, the son who came back all wrong, has decisions to make, ones that could change everything forever. A fire has been struck, one that is bound to spread and no one can

False Alarm by anonymous for Nottak [Teen, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Married LifeSome Humorno capes AU

Summary: One day in the life of Jason Todd, former crime boss, current house husband.

Hush Hush (Don’t Give It Away) by anonymous for solomonara [Mature, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Fluff and Humor, Writer's Block, Author Jason Todd, Secret Identity, Secret Crush, Awkwardness, Walking In On Someone, Realization, Love Confessions

Summary: ‘He was a skater boi. He said 'I'll write a fic for your later boi.'

In which, Dick Grayson really loves reading romantic stories written by a best-selling author who just turns out to be Jason Todd. Awkwardness ensues.

There are a hundred reasons why I'll run (but for you I'll stay) by anonymous for Hedgebelle (Ahaanzel) [Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, Light Angst, First Meetings, Love at First Sight, First Kiss, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Time, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Happy Ending

Summary: Jason, the god of the underworld, cannot stand the Olympians who constantly keep making bets about his love life. His only desire is to stay away from everyone and mind his own business. That is, until, one day, Dick walks into his life.

a keeper of secrets for me by Anonymous for anoncitomikolino [Explicit, No Warnings Apply, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd]

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dimension Travel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, intersex omega, Alpha Jason Todd, Omega Dick Grayson, in this universe….

Summary: You can have all your dreams if you really believe in something that's true

The Bees - Listening Man

[courtorderedcake]

Majestically Too Far Beyond : CSSNS 2020

It’s finally here! Yaaaay! Here’s my @cssns​ for 2020, Majestically Too Far Beyond, title based on the Poem written by Komal Kapoor. You can read my explanation of how this mess all got started Here. Art is by @kmomof4​ and I threw in some too for fun. 

Summary :  Emma Swan has never been that type of girl, you know, the one that cries and sinks into a pint of ice cream after a break-up. She's never ever cared about anyone other than completely out of survival, but then came Neal, and then came the final big break up with someone maybe she sort of kind of loved. So now she is one of those girls who are homeless, living with her adopted brother and his wife at their farm in a long abandoned Victorian keeper's home, desperately trying to save to get her own place while working her difficult government job and as a merc witch on the side.  When a desperate Witch calls on her to do a spell, it's all bad news - but then said Witch revealed a mountain of gold coins, and whimpered that Emma is her only hope. How can she not be a bad ass magic savior for this poor soul? All seems to be well, until the consequences are suddenly very real.  Killian may be a Demon, a fallen Angel that now delights in the practice of revenge, but first and foremost he's a gentleman. Sort of.  Especially when his ruddy Angel brother is focused on bureaucracy and keeping mankind out of chaos, while Killian barely keeps his denizens as safe as he can in a world that wants Demons dead. Witches and Warlocks use them for parts, Werewolves see them as a threat, Angels mostly still hold on to the ancient feud regardless of their treatise, Fae stay chaotic neutral, Vampires don't care for others affairs - it's a perilous world where hate crimes happen without consequence. When Killian goes above to plead for more safety laws in the metropolis of Hyperion Hills, the city that lies over a major portal to hell, he does not expect to meet a council that the elemental five sit on. He especially doesn't expect that the council would ever take him seriously in his campaign for demon safety. Regina, Snow, Ariel, Elsa, and Belle seem dead set on making it their pet project - each for their own very different reasons. Especially when they bring up hiring a tempestuous security consultant, Emma Swan. When they adjourn, he can say that he is optimistically apprehensive. An optimistic Demon never leads to good things, unless by good things you mean throwing back rum while chasing a pretty woman for plundering. He's unsure of what to expect when challenged to do shot for shot by a mysterious blonde Witch, who didn't care who (or what) he is, but he does like a challenge. Too much in fact, the challenge raising the stakes, because from there on it becomes a blur, and yeah, he's bloody well in it now. The idea of a contract sounds fantastic when they stumbled into the strange tower, half naked and wanting. It's the ritual she does instead that he should have been paying attention to. So, maybe now he's missing a hand, and has only the vaguest idea of what happened from the mess of blood he's woken up to, his and someone else's, a mirror's accursed magic the only thing to tell him what took place: he's a prisoner until someone lets him free… And a woman that he’s positive did not exist in his life yesterday, who just happens to not only be a Witch but a complete stranger, is pregnant with his child. 

Rated E, but really falls in at more of a M. Fluffy angst with some adult themes and hinted undertones.  READ ON AO3 HERE.

Chapter 1 - Long ago, eclipses were feared as well:

To say that the Jones 'Brothers' had been fighting since time began, was not an understatement, but also not exactly truthful. They had actually been fighting before recorded time, and before there was even a concept of the perception of anything besides the aether or eternity.

That's why he'd fallen, actually. Loss was a powerful motivation, enough even to question the utmost Authority - and the Authority despised questioning. Fighting was in the nature of the divine Celestials, as it seemed, and in Her infinite curiosity that She defined as 'Wisdom', God had let Lucifer burn too brightly. Their war was a lover's jealous quarrel turned violent. 

Although Liam was created moments before Killian, they were brothers (as it were) even amongst a host of angels, and they were close regardless of their stubborn spats. They fought over the world and its workings, Liam given a flaming sword while Killian was given books. They fought over knowledge of the divine arts, arguing whether humans were worthy of the Arcane. They fought over Killian's love of a mortal woman, and his questioning of commandments. 

They fought over Killian standing behind Lucifer, and Liam fought Killian right before he fell. In some ways, it was Liam's own hand that pushed Killian, but in his last angelic act, Killian forgave his brother. 

While Earthborne and some remnant Angels believed Demons were not capable of love, they were of course wrong. Demons loved, lost, and forgave just as any others. Even after the schism, even after years of passive aggressive pettiness between both sides, Demons were still seen as wayward, dark, demented creatures. Angels had done little to fight this stereotype, instead reveling in their continued status as goodwill ambassadors. 

Even their name amongst mortals was a cosmic joke, the Creator and her lover-made-antagonist too long gone to bother with proper names. They were Angels or Demons to some cultures as humans grew on God's abandoned project, while others called them by their new names. 

The Angel Diana was called a Goddess alongside Hecate, Freya, Gabriel, Uriel, and many others. The Demons Zeus, Odin, Loki, Hades, and Poseidon happily took on roles that suited their carnal needs. Angels mixed with mortals along with Demons, God's secret seeds of elemental magics taking life along beside them as Druids, Fae, and Elementals.  Some of the Celestials even birthed life as their lost parents had, Demons begetting Demons, Angels begetting Angels, and everything or anything in between. 

Humans gained magical prowess as the world changed, Witches, Druids, Warlocks, Mortismals, and Mesmerels becoming the norm for human bloodlines. 

Still, Demons were given less, all because God had cursed them irrevocably before disappearing with Lucifer into the abyss. They were cellularly different now than any of the Angels they had once been, a yoke around their neck that they could be forced to obey. Like Angels, they could be worshipped, called, trapped, or contracted even as their powers and bodies twisted into the curse stained strangeness God graced them with. They were looked on with disgust, pity, horror, and anger for it despite their best attempts.

Which was why his sodding Ponce of a brother working as an Angel ambassador for a Prince of Hell was so important - and so bloody frustrating. 

It wasn't as if being a Prince of Hell wasn't stressful enough - his people always under siege or afraid of some Witch summoning them to place a brand, then using them as a charcuterie board - no. It was that his brother was a baked potato when it came to convincing the public they were not what millennia of ingrained hatred had established Demons as. 

Bosch had died before Killian could uppercut him, regardless of his depiction of Liam as a trumpeting ferret bird or the even less flattering version of Killian. Dante had been another great PR stunt his brother had botched miserably. The Rings of Hell weren't even used, Lucifer gone before he could put God's plans for punishment into place. Now as a museum and reenactment park, it was a popular attraction that helped generate funds for the denizens that lived in the spacial plane that surrounded it, but Dante's review had been swayed by Liam taking him into The Kingdom right after. How could Hell ever live up to the paradise God herself had planned for humans? Only Cedar Point, Busch Gardens, Disney, or Universal Studios could come close as far as themed parks. It was a complete disaster. 

This newest idea of Killian sitting on the board of Hyperion Heights to work with the world's premier intersectional coven, 'StoryBrooke', was another terrible idea in the making, and Killian had no qualms letting his brother know it.

"This is absolutely ridiculous Liam," Killian gritted out, itching under the glamor that made him look mortal. Being confined in a skin suit had his molecules vibrating so loudly he could hear his canines, starlight and cosmic fire sending pinpricks of goose flesh down the dark hairs of his arms and legs. Wearing this was torture enough without Liam staring at him in disdain, his own heavenly image unblemished. Even his halo was a polished gold around his fat head. "While I am a dashing rapscallion in my original skin, don't you think it's bad form for them to see me like this instead of how I actually look? Isn't the point of this to show that even if we're not as pretty as your lot, we're still beings that deserve respect?"

Liam grunted, rolling his eyes. Blue fire from explosions of stars and galaxies lit in mirrors of Killian's own, but framed by rosy cheeks and tawny curls instead of moving shadow, a ghoulish pallor, and dark hair the color of ink or raven's feather. The Angelic glamor contained the haze of darkness that moved like smoke around him, the length of his fingers and claws, and made his flesh look pale but not tinted the color of the universe's light. It did not hide his horns (remnants of shattered halo) or his twitching tail if someone chose to leave eyes on him too long, but that was another Demonic burden to bear. 

"First impressions, little brother. Even the most progressive Witch is still a Witch. I'd rather them see you like this instead of wondering if you truly need all your giblets."

Killian swallowed hard, nodding once before grumbling, "Younger brother. Younger."

"Go over your notes again. You'll need to be your nauseatingly charming self for this, especially if they bring the males in their midst," Liam asked of him, and Killian looked out the dark windows of the car as his tail moved in agitation. 

"Regina. Head of the Coven, Witch and Mortismal that inherited her throne from her mother. Began the integration method and broke away from the Misthaven Coven to create the StoryBrooke one," Killian intoned. 

"Right. She's a tough nut too, and her ghosts do the most of her dirty work. She's not someone to cross unless you want your chairs stacked to the ceiling every morning by some bloody poltergeist." 

"Aw, well, I'm unfortunately haunted by you already, I doubt a poltergeist could do more damage." Killian slanted a look at his brother, who gave an annoyed huff as his pure white feathers ruffled. Killian was thankful in part that he did not have wings at all times, even if the trade off was painful. "While Regina is the head of the Coven, the head of the Council is Elsa Frost of the Frost twins. She's a direct descendant of the Giant Ice Sorceresses with powerful magic, but her passion is creating legislation for Hyperion Heights. Her sister Anna is the family's public relations face, and runs their fashion empire, Arendelle Designs with her Druid husband."

"Good. Good, tell me about Ariel Poisson."

"Siren and Mermaid, with four years on the council. Made history as the first water Elemental to sit on the council, beating the long seated Witch, Ursula, by a large margin. Opponents argue that her father's position as King of the seas and his dominion over fair weather and fishing made voters nervous to not cast ballots for her. Her campaign slogan was 'Part of your World', which could be beneficial to my campaign." 

"Right. Snow Blanchard?" 

"Would-be heir to the Misthaven Coven who ended its elitist reign by breaking tradition and leaving, sending them into chaos." Killian smirked. "She sounds like someone who I could get along with."

"She gets along with everyone except her family, which is more than normal it would seem," Liam replied back, and Killian snorted out a chuckle. 

"Druid, Elf, and Green Witch. Runs a high profile herbal apothecary chain Enchanted Forest Supplies, focused on holistic medicinals, herbs, and spices. Nolan Farms is a subsidiary that sells produce to the Heights, which is her husband's 'pet' project."

"Watch yourself, brother," Liam warned. "While you might get away with that if it's just the Witches, if David and Ruby sit in today you'll find that will not stand."

"Ah, yes. Ruby Reddings and David 'Charming' Nolan. You only circled that they are Werewolves in red ink everywhere you could. David is Snow's husband, and her lead farm hand. Ruby is Snow's cousin who introduced the two. Ruby is currently in a high profile relationship with your colleague, Inspector Wolfe, and they both are very active in pack politics. Many are betting they will create their own pack if the current Alphas do not abandon some of the more ancient doctrines. Nothing new there."

"Don't forget Livre and Fa."

"Belle Livre, Witch turned Vampire, runs a community literacy foundation and bookstore chain. Known ally to Demon rights. Soft spoken but brutally intelligent. Introduced a synthetic blood that allows for daytime living via plant cells collaborating with Enchanted Forest, which made history 6 years ago," Killian listed. "Mulan Fa, Vampire. Cultural Development head of the Heights, and curator of The Hyperion Heights Museum of Art, History, Science, and Culture. Teaches part time at Hyperion Heights University as an adjunct professor. Fa is married to a Fae Elf, Merida Ursa."

"Good. That's as far as we know besides the whole Swan fiasco, which is not to be brought up."

"What Swan fiasco?" 

"Oh, little brother. If you had done your research outside of the profiles I gave you, you would know all about the criminal history of the black and heartless sheep within the Misthaven and StoryBrooke covens. It's better off that you don't know."

"Er. Well. Alright. I didn't look into them because I don't bloody well care about their lots as long as we get protection. There was another slaying this weekend. A Lower Demon."

"I'm aware. Did you know her?" 

"Not really, but that's not enough either. I owe my people more. The other Lords of Hell are fine telling Demons to stay below and never use their name, which is fine for the new blood. It's the old, the weak, and the abused that are at risk."

"Careful, Killian. Your lust for vengeance will never be welcomed by mortals."

"I'm well aware Liam. They like my kind for an entirely different kind of lust."

"Could you please not." Liam sighed, sitting back against the seat. After a moment, his brother spoke quietly. "There was another attack as well, this time in broad daylight in Camelot Town. The Anti-Integration Movement has claimed responsibility."

"Of bloody course they have!" Killian hissed, clenching his fists. He pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing. "Brilliant. Just absolutely marvelous -" 

"They were going to run a story in the Times. I managed to block it for now, but we need a sympathetic writer on the inside, or we risk them running another story with their bias."

"I have a guy. I'll reach out, he's an old school Warlock who I've worked with in the past on push back. What's their excuse this time?" 

"They said that the Succubus was, quote, 'asking for it by the way she was dressed'."

Nausea rose in Killian's throat, and he swallowed it down with bitter practice. "I wasn't aware that how someone dressed meant their lives were not only void, but taking pieces of them was fine as well."

"We know they're being funded well, and we will get arrests as soon as possible. This won't be forever, Killian."

"That's easy for you to promise when this has been my - our forever." Killian bit out, glaring at his feet.

The car came to a stop, the driver opening the door to let them out. Killian moved briskly up the steps of the council building, as Liam followed behind. They moved through the lobby with an easy flash of Liam's ID that Killian scoffed at, moving into the elevator. 

"After that display, I'm going drinking after this," Killian gritted through his teeth. 

Liam blinked, straightening his tie in the door's polished reflection. "What display? They were nice."

"Exactly. If I came here alone, I would have been in that security line for an hour." 

Liam rolled his eyes, taking down his halo to polish the golden ring. "You absolutely exaggerate how you're treated. Not everyone is out to get you, especially when you look like this. Give others a break."

"I'll give myself a break after this with as much rum as I can safely consume, instead."

The doors pinged open to reveal a small atrium, dark wood flooring in stark contrast to the birch tree covered walls. A secretary stood behind a rounded desk against the far wall, motioning for them to sit. 

"They'll be with you in a moment," she offered, glancing at them with a thin smile. Killian could practically taste her distrust as he scratched behind his ear. Liam swatted at him lightly in a bid to get him to stop, both of them tense when the doors finally opened to reveal a petite woman dressed in a powder blue skirt and blazer. 

"Come in gentleman. The council will see you now." She smiled icily. His brother stood, his feathers slightly puffed in an indication of his own nervousness. 

Killian followed a second later, walking with them as they made forced, but pleasant conversation all the way into the boardroom. 

Women sat at a long table that curved slightly, facing their own small table similar to a courtroom. He was reminded of the tribunals in the old days when law had begun, but the courtiers were far different than the strange group of women scrutinizing them. 

To his surprise, the majority of them seemed actually curious instead of repulsed or bored. 

"The council recognizes Liam Jones and Killian… Jones. These are your chosen surnames, correct? And you identify as… brothers?" 

"Yes," Liam stated firmly with a curt nod. Killian watched from his peripheral as his shoulder muscles twitched, his wings held stiffly upright to keep them from the floor. 

Killian nodded, careful to keep his tail curled around his legs. The skin suit itched as it clung to him, not abated by his attempt to sit more casually. 

"Interesting," remarked the dark haired witch at the far right. A nameplate sat in front of her, marking her as Regina. He wondered idly if her stare was due to the blood on his hands only an eternal existence could bring. 

"You are here to ask for help in creating safety measures and a potential council commitment to Demon rights, correct?" Ariel, a fiery haired lass with a heart face, asked. 

"Our major point of concern is the influx of hate groups that seem to fall in line with smuggling operations and planned violence," Killian said slowly. Attention snapped to him, and he brought up the slide presentation he had prepared. "We have had some luck stopping shipments and arresting bit players, but we can't find the heads of these operations."

"You can't find them, or you are barred from digging deeper?" Mulan asked, and he chuckled darkly. 

"The latter, I'm afraid. We have consistently come to the same dead end again and again. I'm sure I don't have to explain to you ladies how difficult a foe powerful covens behind corporate entities are." He let a grimace creep onto his face, and saw the majority of the women nod in acknowledgement. 

"This could make many enemies for us, if approached in the wrong way." Belle stated quietly. "Specifically with our good friends in the Storybrooke Coven."

Snow nodded, exchanging a bitter look with her. "We may need a professional from our coven, but she's unable to get clearance without special notation."

"Oh? Who is this?" Liam asked. 

Elsa and the rest of the coven smiled in varying degrees of fondness. "The best in the business, and in my Coven. If you need to find someone, Emma Swan can always find them, and she's good at criminal magical activities. She knows the system, knows how and where to hide, and where to seek."

They'd found what the coven wanted, and their stake in the venture. Killian caught Liam's face falling, his eyes narrowing into slits. 

"You can't be serious. Involving Swan in this after -" 

"That was all a misunderstanding, and was blown completely out of proportion. We have long held up our end of the blame and accountability, while Misthaven has shirked theirs in the name of slandering her." Elsa steepled her fingers. "If you desire the best, which I assume is why you are here, you need to rehab not only Demons’ image, but hers as well. She should be sitting here with us."

Liam tried in vain to tip the scale back in their favor, his face going red. "We'll consider this as part of our negotiations."

"Negotiations? Liam, you are a detective. You should have deduced by now that you have no leverage. You have only decisions to make." Regina closed her planner, regarding them with her dark gaze. "So, make them quickly, before our patience wanes."

Killian bit back a laugh at Liam’s sudden blustered stuttering. These witches were good, and as the meeting ran on for hours he realized just how much liquor he would need to recover. 

 "Well that went well." 

Liam’s sour expression and slumped shoulders were just visible in his peripheral, even as his feathers were still quite literally ruffled. He huffed out a noise of disapproval, too vexed to even reply back. 

"Aye to that, brother." Licking his lips, they stepped into the cool dusk air. "I'm going for that drink, are you…?" Killian glanced at Liam, who shook his head with annoyance. 

"Seriously? You really -" 

"Really shouldn't what Liam?" Killian smiled, venom leaking into his tone. "Go get drunk in a town that would rather pretend I don't exist or sell me in a fine powder to the nearest bidder? I think I'll be okay, although the concern is duly noted."

He turned on his heel, his glamor falling away in a puff of smoke. The air hit his itchy, overheated skin, his tail whipping around in sharp, agitated flicks. 

"Take care of yourself, little brother! No need to be a self destructive bastard. We lost a battle, not the war!" Liam called after him, stepping into his sleek car. Killian snorted. 

Hailing a cab with some difficulty, the driver asked where he was headed with the same slight resignation he was used to for his kind. 

"A bar, Demon friendly please. Some place without swill."

The driver nodded, dropping him at a dimly lit corner of the city. A red neon sign spread crimson light along the sidewalk, soft light also spilling out the doors accompanied by loud guitar. Looking up, the looping, swirled lettering made him smirk. 'The Jealous Flask' was as good a place as any in his neck of the underworld woods. 

The inside was smoky, deep red damask wallpaper paired with dark, pitch stained wood panels, booths, and bartop. The liquor selection was displayed neatly, unlike the few early patrons sitting scattered around. The jukebox played warbly rock music, some punchy chords and an easy to memorize refrain. 

'one two three four, can I have a little more, five six seven eight nine ten, I love you' 

The bar stools were empty, and Killian slung himself onto one, the bartender nodding his head by way of a greeting. 

"Rum, neat," Killian stated, pointing to his preferred vice. The bartender did not stop polishing the glass in his hand, but the bottle floated down gently, pouring itself into a tumbler before the glass set itself down in front of Killian. "Thanks, mate."

The bartender nodded again, continuing his work with the aid of his magic. People began to trickle in as the time ticked forward, a witch or two eyeing him suspiciously, vampires playing pool in the front, a group of young werewolves forcing change into the jukebox to get edgier music playing through the speaker system. The Clash crooned out words against the Fae Queen ruling over greater Eld, the pack jumping around excitedly and thrashing their heads back and forth. By this time Killian had moved to the far curve of the bar, his glass refilled to the point of the bottle sitting next to him like a patient date. There were still no other Demons in his presence. It shouldn't have surprised him, shouldn't have even made him angry with the amount of violence they were privy to, but he burned away the emotions with the alcohol flowing down his throat. 

A soft touch on his shoulder caught his attention, and he turned with a growl. It died in his throat when large eyes met his, blonde curls falling in front of her eyes in loose tendrils. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," she stammered, biting her lip. Pointing to a drink that was clearly not his, umbrella and all, she continued. "I was trying to reach my drink. It’s gotten crowded and I thought, I mean, I am sorry I wasn't trying to -" 

"Aye." He nodded, throwing back his drink. "S'alright lass. I'm sorry, I s'pose I'm just a bit out of place here."

She smiled, blushing. "Yeah, I uh, I get that. I haven't seen you around before."

"First time here. I was in the neighborhood for business." He poured himself more, and to his surprise she pushed and elbowed her way to sit next to him. 

"Business?" Her eyes were curious while her fingers toyed with the umbrella in her drink. "Should I be concerned?" 

It was clearly teasing, and Killian felt himself loosening up around her. She seemed to read him well, or at least the alcohol was working. "Not any of the good kind, I'm afraid." He grinned with a wink. 

"Ah, so we're just ships passing in the night?" She leaned in and he could smell the floral and herbal scent of her, her eyelashes batting coquettishly as she sipped her drink in his space. 

"Passing closely, I hope," he murmured. His heart raced; it had been ages since any mortal had shown interest in him that was mutual. 

His head spun as she met him drink for drink, hand unsubtly creeping higher up his hip. 

"Would you be opposed to… Maybe, I don't know… getting out of here?" 

"Are you saying you would fancy a nightcap, lass?" She smiled from under her lashes while biting her lip, and his heated blood grew hotter. 

"Perhaps." She stood with grace as she extended a hand to him. "My place is a quick and easy teleportation spell away from here, and my bed doesn't require any sort of magic outside of what I can do with my tongue." 

Killian hesitated, her golden hair in the glow of the lights making her seem to shimmer. "I don't even know your name -" 

"Eloise. It's Eloise." She pulled him up, letting him stumble into her body. Her lips met his, and soon he was pulling her closer as their mouths slanted across one another's in hunger. She bit his lip and he felt the tightness that had bloomed in his belly spread fire down his spine. 

"Lead the way, love," he whispered huskily, grinding into her. 

She smiled broadly, the world shifting until he was in her dimly lit home. A lone window twinkled starlight, moon huge outside as it hung in the sky. Her tongue slid past his lips, the bitter herbal taste overwhelming while the world shifted again, this time pulling him apart. 

 In a perfect world, Emma Swan would not be doing anything remotely close to what she was currently debating doing. It truly wasn't her fault; it fell on Neal and his stupid family if anyone was to blame, and his stupid coven with their stupid leader. She should have known back then it had been a set up, should have known that Neal was a fucking liar. How many times did the same drawn out plot have to play out? Apparently, too many, considering she had still warmed his bed until a week ago. 

This time it was final. Emma wouldn't accept him back when Neal slithered out from under the rock he had his affair in. She wouldn't be charmed by his smooth talking silver tongue, and if he so much as breathed near her, she would take another five years for breaking his smarmy Fae nose. Final. It had to be final. 

But finality meant certain conditions had to be met, especially if she was to ward him away. For one, the beautiful loft that belonged to Neal in the Heights downtown could definitely not be her base of operations any more. Neither could the various in between places she found where Emma could grieve until he took her back, damaged goods and all. No more hotel rooms, no more abandoned apartments, no more warehouses, vacation rentals, or quiet empty offices. She had to get her own place, and it had to be able to handle her particularly finicky magic. Neal's place wasn't great for her particular practice, but the view had been killer enough to ignore it. Neal's fortune had meant she didn't need to work, and with her record (or, as his coven would sneer, 'notoriety') that was just as well. 

Working added a wrinkle to her life; she would have to find somewhere that allowed her enough space for her magic to keep her employed. That would require a hefty chunk of gold - if she was lucky. The prices in the downtown area were steep, only high profile Witches, Warlocks, Fae, and Celestials could afford accommodation that close to the capitol buildings and Ley Lines. Initially when Emma had glanced through the apartment listings on the bulletin board, she had almost had a panic attack at the amount of gold they demanded. 

Her brother David, blessings be, had been her knight in shining armor. There was a large Victorian home that lay in shambles at the edge of their farm lands, its beautiful scalloped details in need of paint, and the gutters growing weeds as thick as her forearm. But, it was within her budget if she could get the down payment placed before the scheduled demolition. She put what she had down to stall as much as she could, but it was not enough in the least. 

One big job was all she needed. One big job that she could cash out on. A dip of her toes back into the waters of peddling illegal magic, just quickly in and out without a splash. 

She didn't need any more jail time, that was for certain. 

Putting out the word she was available in the whisper market was always dangerous, but listening in was free and without a snag if you were smart. 

Emma heard tell of a desperate woman willing to give a truckload full of gold to the right Witch who could perform delicate, esoteric, deeply Arcane and forbidden magics. Luckily for both of them, that's what Emma excelled at. 

She had always been good at her craft, and her magical workings were beyond powerful. She could do things that other practitioners only dared to dream of, if they could even conceive it. It was why Neal had kept her around, and why his coven's dislike would melt away if she said she would consider joining. 

(If she did that around Yulesmas for better gifts, was it really so bad?) 

The request itself was intriguing, the woman herself a Witch that could not do the spell alone. She wanted an equivalent exchange of unbreakable magical bonds, which while tricky, was not forbidden in most circumstances. The offer was too good to pass up on, but Emma didn't like leaving things to complete chance. 

Cue her sister-in-law, Snow. If anyone could throw runes, read the winds, divine from the mundane, and not keep any of it a fucking secret, it was Snow. 

Emma knocked on their cheery red door in the early morning, which must have been a surprise to Snow considering she was half dressed in business wear. She pulled up her stockings in a one footed hop, motioning for Emma to come in as she balanced the phone receiver against her neck. The coiled cord spun around her, and she groaned loudly. 

"Yes, Regina, I know. I'll be there, I'm literally - it's 2 hours away. I will be there in thirty minutes at latest, but - Well, yes, Emma just walked in." Snow gestured at a chair, and Emma sat, looking at her with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, I know it's early for her. I know. Uh huh. Yes. We will definitely put her on the table; it's absurd not to, considering - yes, I would love to talk to you about this in person as I've said - alright. Yes. Okay then, buh-bye." 

Sighing, Snow twirled, untwisting herself from the phone cord. She smoothed down her pencil skirt and blouse before looking straight at Emma with a curious stare. Her mouth twitched with annoyance as she spoke. 

"Now. To what do I owe the pleasure? I have a meeting with Celestials shortly, so." She waved a hand indicating the clock in the background. Turning to the counter, she opened up a cookie jar and removed a rolled cannabis cigarette, putting it between her lips and lighting it. 

Emma swallowed, watching the petite woman slide the purple lighter back in its space on their counter. "I just need you to divine something for me. A situation, with a woman who wants me to… to uh, do something."

Snow rolled her eyes, narrowing them to glare at Emma. "We are bringing you up as collateral in our meeting today, trying to get you a seat where you belong - on the council," Snow hissed. She pinched the bridge of her nose, taking a breath. 

"Please?" Emma asked innocently, batting her eyelashes for good measure. 

Snow sighed. "Alright. Picture the situation and the woman."

Emma focused on the description, the spellwork requested, the woman's pleas. She could feel Snow's magic engulf her, and the fuzziness that came with it as she wove threads out into the natural universe, time and space sending her back answers. 

A moment passed, and the feeling abruptly stopped as Snow shook her head. 

"This doesn't feel right," Snow said, taking a drag of her blunt. She exhaled, the thick smoke swirling into the shape of birds that dove through the air. Emma coughed, waving a hand in front of her face. "That woman… I don't know. She feels off."

Emma frowned, petulant that the answer was negative. "She's a Witch, and in trouble." 

"Have you rolled your runes?" Snow began to pull on her loafers, gathering her things. 

Emma chewed her lip. She had divined, or tried to, but had not found a concrete result. "Yeah, and they said it's… Questionable, but the end result leaves all parties happy. Tarot said basically the same thing."

Snow let out a little twittering laugh, pulling her purse up on her shoulder. "And how does Neal feel about it?"

"Neal doesn't need to feel any way about it. I… We… I broke it off." Emma looked at her shoes, then idly inspected the counters formica. "Forever this time." 

"Oh. Is that why you're here so early?" Snow's eyes went wide, a hand covering her mouth. "Oh, Emma, honey. I'm so sorry, I've just been under so much stress with Regina and this council. Wait, where are you staying? Oh no - are you homeless!? You mean it, you're never going back to that creep?"

"Never," Emma said firmly, even as her voice caught. "I'll find a place though, Snow. Don't worry." 

"So you are homeless, oh Emma, if I wasn't late - no. No. You know, I'll call Regina and cancel it, you need me more than -" 

"No, well, I mean -" Emma shook her head. "No. I'll stay here tonight if I have to, but you need to get to your meeting. I don't need Regina's wrath on top of everything else."

"You know you can stay here with us as long as you need, oh, Emma, I wish you had told me -" 

"I don't want to stay here. I can't work here, and I love you guys but you both are gross with your lovey dovey hippie -" 

"I get it, I get it." Snow grimaced. 

"So yeah, I need the money. I can't stay here, I need my own place… I put a tiny deposit on that Victorian down the road, but I need the full down payment to keep it." Emma shrugged. 

"The house at the --- Emma, that place is a breeze away from being condemned!" 

"No it's not," Emma groaned, rubbing her temple. "It's got good bones, and character. It just needs some… help."

"Well. I mean…" Snow hesitated, heading towards the door, as Emma followed. "Alright then. I'm just warning you, I get a terrible vibe from that woman and I could cancel this today, we could work out a plan. We have the money from the harvest. You could work for us or with David and help us with the roll outs in exchange for a loan. I'm organized, but the help would be appreciated if you're living so close… especially since I'm making sure that house is safely remodeled for you. I don't want you to end up with the roof falling on you or some gas line exploding." 

"You worry way too much, Snow."

"I hear the future through nature, and it's generally terrifying. Nature is terrifying. Excuse me for being cautious, and wanting to help you out."

Emma laughed as they walked out the door together, Snow rummaging in her bag for lipstick which she quickly applied. "Yeah well, you're also smoking weed so potent it could put an elephant to sleep. I don't want a loan from you."

"I'm not an elephant, Em. I'm an Elf. It'll take more than this to knock me on my ass." She smiled, extending a hand to squeeze Emma's shoulder. "Be careful, okay? No repeats."

"That wasn't -" Emma protested, but Snow cut her off with a sharp look. "Yeah, alright. 

"Good. I'll see you tonight, you're coming for dinner. No buts." Snow grinned, before disappearing with a puff of periwinkle smoke. 

Emma groaned, kicking dirt as she stalked away towards her new potential home. 

 In the final days before moving from the small basement apartment Emma rented, the dingy, unused, bare studio finally found some decoration in chalk outlines, herbs, and a large bubbling cauldron. It hadn't ever been a home or remotely close to one when Neal presented a better option, the bed untouched and unmade. It reminded Emma more of her prison cell than anything else, which offered a strange duality of comfort mixed with dread. It was fitting that she would meet to do this ritual here. 

Gothel arrived promptly for their 10 am arranged meeting in a well worn taupe cloak. She looked as desperate as the correspondences between them indicated, but Emma resolved to get this over with as quickly as possible. They shared a nod in the form of hellos, then Emma pointed to the cauldron.

"Let's begin, shall we?" Emma asked, and Gothel drew back her cloak to reveal her tired and gaunt looking face. 

"Yes. Let's. Your payment, with more upon completion." Gothel dropped a large purse on the counter, Emma immediately grabbing it and checking the contents. It was real, her heart soaring as she shoved it in her bag. 

"So, you are to give me a token of your will, usually blood, an animal you raised, or something that's valuable to you . Something you care about, that you are tied to that a severing will make you -"

"I give you the life of my first child," Gothel interrupted. 

Emma's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh." Biting her lip, she brushed back her braid. "That's… That's super Illegal. I…" 

"You wanted something heavy, you got it. There's a reason why I came to you; you have a reputation for doing things quietly. The reason you chose me is because you need the coin. Now, my terms. I know you provide healing. I want to keep myself young and strong - youthful immortality. Grant me this." The grin on her face unsettled Emma, Snow's warning in her mind. Nevertheless, the satchel of gold meant a secured home.

"Um. Alright. Are you sure, the life of your firstborn? That's a ways off, and the strength won't happen until -" 

"Do it. Do it now, I know the spell will be enacted when payment is due. I'm well studied - Breaking a bond with a child, specifically your first, will grant me the power I need. I know that I can't do this spell myself either, so here I am."

Emma gulped. "Okay. Let me get the texts."

Emma returned with her copper cauldron, pile of books, and spell components. Gothel's grin grew wider, her eyes gleaming at the sight of the tongues, eyes, crushed butterflies, and other more macabre ingredients the spell required. 

Feeling a low tug in her gut that something was wrong, Emma backed away from the altar. The other Witch seemed to shimmer, slightly in alarm, a glamor of some sort possibly covering her skin. Feeling even more unsettled, Emma shook her head. 

"I can't do this, listen -" 

"Please. Please you must, I need this to escape a curse. It's blood magic, almost unbreakable and impossible to escape on my own. Please." Emma heard no lies in her speech. "I admit that I have not been entirely truthful. While I was able to send you the gold easily, I am trapped, held against my will. I can only project myself to you. I was afraid to tell you, because I am desperate to rid myself of this curse." When no lies continued to register, Emma felt a deep sense of pity for the other witch. A blood magic binding was no joke; someone truly must have hated the poor woman. 

"Fine," Emma said, throwing her hands up. Gothel perked up slightly, hope in her eyes. Throwing the ingredients in the cauldron, a shimmering mist roiled over the edge as she spoke ancient words and stirred in the shape of long unused runes. Adding bones that melted in soapy bubbles and stirring with a long Pegasus feather that gradually turned to ash, she looked up at Gothel, who was wringing her hands anxiously.

"Your tokens?" Emma asked. 

Gothel waved a hand over the stained cloth; several of the woman's teeth, a long braid of her hair, and a large chunk of skin fell into the cauldron. The cauldron's contents began to boil, smoke curling in darkened serpentine tangles. 

Emma began the words, Latin, Arameric, the old tongue of the Pagans, Celtic, remnants of Gaul, flowing them together until speaking plainly to her own magic. 

"Blood of one that is two, child, mother, 

Blood of my own, tear them asunder, 

Thicker than wine, thicker than water, 

Ties that bind, bound to another, 

The womb that grows life, 

Kin cared for in kind, 

A payment for power, 

Remake the ties, lift, and unbind."

Scraping her hand against a dagger, Emma let her blood drop slowly into the brew, the words flowing out in the crimson rivulets. As she pulled away the wound closed from her own healing energy. 

"Cradle of moon within flesh, 

Remake that which is to be made, 

Your reflection removed, 

Mine in its stead.

Your burden is mine, 

Carried and held as your first, 

Blood of the two, child, mother, 

As they are born, you are cursed."

She looked at Gothel, who was still wringing her hands, long nails cutting into her palms. This magic was hopefully worth the price the woman had so freely paid. Breaking an infant and mother's bond to give to another was a great sacrifice, the magic comparable to true love, if not greater. The power the Witch would receive would hopefully free her from the curse, but also give her the strength she desired.

"It's done. You must cast your brand over the cauldron, and when you, you know," Emma turned around, holding herself tightly. Caught up in the thought of what she, Emma Swan, would even do with a child, she was unaware of the other Witch behind her scrambling to the cauldron or her deep disregard for anything she was saying. "Get pregnant, let me know. I'll handle that - Wait, what are you -" 

Gothel chuckled lowly, her brand in its arcane circle around the cauldron, neon lines of electricity like power that sparked and crackled. Emma felt her hair stand on end, small pebbles lifting off the stone floor as the cauldron shook. Smoke rose in heavy plumes, purple and a noxious mauve that made the air feel sticky, her lungs not able to fill all the way. Gothel's chuckle had turned into a wild cackle, her braided and matted hair like vines or a visage of Medusa. 

Gothel's voice was crazed, shrill as she pointed a gnarled finger at Emma. "This is it. This is it! I've done it, I'm free! Oh, you silly, stupid girl. Now nothing will ever stop me again!" 

Her laugh grew into a shriek of triumph as magic swirled around them, Emma watching as the woman in front of her disappeared. Gaping at what happened, Emma checked herself for any signs of curses or hexes, unsure of what had just taken place. 

To her surprise, no sign of magic lay on her that she could see. She wasn't cursed, the room wasn't jinxed, and the second payment… Emma quickly checked her purse, finding the large satchel of gold easily. The second sat where Gothel had discarded it without looking twice, and she picked it up hesitantly. It was heavy in her hands as she checked it again and again, realizing that for once in her life, everything was going right. 

 Three hours later, she owned the Victorian home down the road from her brother's farm, the first home she had ever truly called hers. 

 Living near her brother's home had its perks, and disadvantages, as Snow had hinted. For one, Snow was cooking for her every day, and Emma was positive she was going to gain several dress sizes if she didn't stop gorging on various pasta dishes while pouring her magic into restoring the wooden floor. 

A major downside was having her brother constantly fixing her house without her being aware. She'd been woken by him cleaning the gutters, fixing her porch, and of all things, roofing. It had only been a few days, but between his insistence on the outside being presentable and her own work inside, the house was coming along faster than she ever dreamed. It was frightening, and David kept her on edge with his very obvious attempts at snooping around. 

"So, you're done with Neal for good," he said, startling her as she sat out on a newly hung porch swing. She wrinkled her nose at him in protest, and he grinned. "And… You're making doors again."

She froze, panic gripping her. 

"It's alright, I'm not mad. I'm just - just be careful. I trust you, but I know that before -" 

"I made a mistake. I know it, you know it, the Coven knows it, and so does everyone else in the Heights that saw me fall from grace." Emma curled her arms around her knees, bitterly forcing out words. "I won't make the same mistake again. I am on the straight and narrow; these doors are for commuting and hunting skips only." 

David laughed, poking her in the side. "Back to hunting skips, huh? Damn. Don't you ever settle down and enjoy the simple life?" 

Emma laughed, shaking her head. "What the hell is the simple life? Nothing is simple."

"Well, yeah, but… I mean the simple life." He brushed a hand through his hair, looking at her with a gentleness that she instantly felt uneasy with. "House, a pet maybe, hobbies, a partner, kids -" 

"If you are trying to set me up again -" 

"Not me," David raised his hands defensively. "No, I was just -" 

"I don't deserve that life," Emma stated, shrugging. The sun was sinking lower, crickets singing in the cool air. "That life isn't for me. That life is for people like you and Snow, people that are worth something."

"Oh, Emma. You know that's not -" 

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Emma snapped, standing with a start. David looked at her with a hurt expression, and she felt pure rage. "Goodnight."

She stepped back into the house, letting the screen door slam shut behind her. 

"Emma, come on," David called from the porch, but Emma wasn't listening to him as she fought the immediate urge to be ill. The sudden nausea ripped through her, and despite her attempts, vomit burst from her throat. 

She panted, holding on to the wall with one hand. The other hand gripped her side, fierce cramping making her double over in a scream of agony. She lurched forward, unable to breathe as pressure rose in her stomach. To her terror, her skin grew taut and she seemed to bloat, the pain of it ripping through her. 

David splintered the door, his arms around her as she lost consciousness. 

She woke in an ambulance, David holding her hand like he'd done when they were children. He was always the best big brother she could have asked for, always protective of her, and always pushing her to be better. He had convinced her to trust Ruth, convinced her to take a chance with the older woman who was willing to adopt both of them, and they had found another home together. When she was scared or sick, he was right there to hold her hand. Even now as pain ripped through her, he was there. She tried to understand, but her body burned until the flame became too much to bear. 

She woke again to the beeping of machines and David's yelling, her body aching but no longer in the same searing pain. Lifting herself up to try and hear what David was saying, she struggled to make out more than just fragments. 

"I'm not leaving, that's my sister ---- How did -- she wasn't, she --- I don't know, she never said anything ----- A WHAT? No! I'm --- not leaving!" 

Emma's stomach lurched, and she shifted to get out of bed. The sheets slid from her middle, and she gasped. Her middle was rounded, as if she was pregnant. But that was impossible, that was absolutely and completely impossible. 

A knock sounded, a petite woman entering. 

"I'm Doctor Mullins, Emma. I know that this may take some time to fully process, but… you're pregnant."

Emma hissed out a breath into a hysterical laugh. "What? No. No. This is not how babies work, or pregnancy, or even - I haven't even had sex since - "

"I know, and I understand that you must be frightened." The doctor attempted to console her, but Emma could not stop her rising panic. She touched the rounded skin of her stomach, the firm smoothness lined with stretch marks. Letting out a low wail, the doctor tried to speak over her still. "It's some ancient and dark magic, but it's very real. We have an inspector on the way to take your statement, and we performed a few tests -" 

"No. No, this is a bad dream, this isn't real, this isn't happening to me!" Emma closed her eyes, trying to focus. 

" - most concerning of which is the results on paternity, which indicate that the father has non-human presenting DNA. Normally that's not terribly unusual, but this is clearly not a planned pregnancy considering your… your conception being, well, this, and the genomic markers show that the parentage is half Celestial. I need to ask, have you had any relationships with an Angel?"

Emma shook her head, trying to understand what the doctor was asking. 

"Alright, what about anyone with proximity to dark, Arcane, or Demonic magics? Anyone who associates with Demons? Do you associate with them?" The doctor eyed her curiously, and Emma shook her head again. 

"I don't know any Demons, Angels, or Celestials." Emma bit her lip, frustrated at the question. Rolling it between her teeth, she murmured a thought out loud. "I did recently perform a ritual that was older. It didn't call for this though, I don't know anything about this…" 

"Well, it doesn't just happen." Emma looked at the doctor with enough venom in her stare to curdle milk. The doctor laughed nervously. "I mean, it did but -" 

"This cannot be happening," Emma moaned, throwing her head back against the hospital bed's pillow. "This has to be a bad dream."

"I'm afraid it is all very real. Considering the circumstances, an inspector of magical law will be assigned to question you regarding the situation. Because of the issues of legality, you may not leave or have visitors until then." The doctor stood, brushing her hands on her slacks. "Baby looks healthy despite wanting to grow at an accelerated rate, and we have slowed that as much as we can. Welcome to motherhood Miss Swan, and, er… Congratulations." Giving a last placid smile, she left the room, leaving Emma alone. 

Emma sat stunned, unable to do anything but focus on her steady breathing. 

(Fuck)

The single word came to mind again and again, escaping from her lips as her breath finally began to turn into sobs. 

"Fuck."