#I wanna read it again so bad
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I hate when you read an amazing fanfic, and then you don't save it or write the name down and then it's just lost forever! Like what the heck! Stop that! I want to read you again! Forever! GET OUT OF THE VOID!
Ive been looking for this damn fic for over a year! SHOW YOURSELF DAMN YOU!
#It's so vivid in my mind aswell#I wanna read it again so bad#BUT I CANT FIND IT#WHY#STOP#I losing my mind#It was so good#Just give it to me#I'm dieing#Help#It wasn't even finished yet!#Ahhhhh!#I'm gonna go cry in a corner#Like I do anytime I try to find this fic#i am mentally eel
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was reading some bits from can you get an f in lunch by nancy krulik bc i loved that series as a kid and wow the main character is autistic as fuck no wonder i liked those books so much
#she read the entire school handbook#and takes all the rules completely seriously#also loves rules in general i mean the entire series is rules she learns in surviving middle school#also has a hard time understanding tones and sarcasm#i love her even more now#one problem cant find the book anywhere for free im so sad#i wanna read it again SO BAD#been going on a childhood books/media binge lately bc it makes me happy#autistic
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I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...
#personal#delete later#idk i just saw a post of the “alternate ending” comic on my dash and everyone praising it as an improvement and “fixing” the original#which i kinda resent#while tulli and i was taking my nephew to a book store we walked around the kids section and found the giving tree and we read through it#and i was so stricken by how profoundly sad it is. it's not a happy story#in the end both versions tell the exact same lesson. but one flat out tells you and the other makes you sit with a pit in your stomach#and work to find the answer#i dunno it's kids literature but kids literature is important. i don't wanna discredit anyone's bad memories with the book but also i think#sometimes it's ok to make kids a bit sad and upset with fiction.#tweet that goes “what if romeo and juliet didn't kill themselves and explained to the audience that family feuds are bad”#idk you can't seriously read the original book as an adult and say it's glorifying self-martyrdom#when the final drawing of the book is of an old tired man sitting on arotting stump with his hat fallen to the ground#again i don't wanna invalidate people's feelings if they enjoy the alt version i think it's really nice too. but the original has its#purpose too. imagine if at the end of the lorax they show that the boy did it and replanted the world happy ending#wait they did that in the movie shit#i dunno i just love somber children's literature. tulli and i are talking about moomin right now and how the series ends with the moomin#family just leaving. and nobody gets to say goodbye to them. their friends have to find ways to live with the emptiness they've left behin
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I think the Bad Kids deserve to cry a lil. As a treat. IT’S CATHARTIC!!!!!!!!!!!
#my art#described#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high: junior year#the bad kids#ima be tbh. I did mostly just wanna draw Gorgug crying WJDBDJSB#I hope we get any kind of acknowledgement about what Gorgug saw in the forest… I’d love to see a scene where he asks digby & wilma about it#ALSO I LOOOVVVEEE THAT THEIR PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM BCUS THEY ARE A SET. DO NOT SEPARATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also. hope that the time thing Brennan mentioned is an actual plot point and not just A Convenient Retcon Function#like pls brennan… I respect ur storytelling so much I do. if I wanted retcon excuses I’d go back to TES and read about the dragon breaks#especially since like. I love the seven so much. I’ve joked before like. t7 is frankly FHJY for me. we can skip right to sen. year JY is T7!#so if hes walking stuff back esp stuff that was established in T7… idk im not gonna be like. mad. I have a Life lmao. but maybe a lil sadge.#ANYWAY zac once again making one of my fave PCs. gorgug is so sweet guy…#also hope we get to see the artificing class & teacher!
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recently watched a handful of episodes of Supernatural and im kinda impressed with Dean's steadfast belief that all monsters are monsters and can't be redeemed.
With that in mind... there could be some VERY angsty Danny Phantom crossovers with that as the main premise
#this has deff been done before somewhere#dpxsu#bones prompts#they wouldn't care that Danny is a kid. a monster is a monster and they MIGHT later do bad things so might as well kill them now#like thats the premise of so many episodes. They'd kill danny with only one small second thought#bone tangent time bc Supernatural is bonkers. These boys need a MIB mind wipe plus therapy if they ever wanna be mentally ok ever again#also reading fics and seeing gifs with the winchesters being sweet and sarcastic and shit was jarring#because after a few episodes you very quickly realize that the Winchesters Arent Good People.#Dean has enough red flags he should be bound with caution tape. the guy is a Grade A Asshole. Absolutely no idea how he gets women. Genuine#and oH MAN i thought yall were underselling just how needlessly dramatic everything is bc its very soap opera esque but YALL WERENT LYING#im certainly not gonna watch the whole show. I'd much rather read Constantine comics. he's better and knows he's a bastard#none the less it was a very fun show! It's neat seeing technically the good guys save the world. they certainly aren't Good Guys tho
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My feelings towards ao3 this morning.
#baldurs gate 3#astarion#bg3 astarion#like-i get it. but-#please. please for the love of god. just fluff or non-sexual fics.#for five seconds.#please.#I can only handle so much corn. especially when it's almost all geared just towards women.#this is all /lh i dont actually care all that much- but there comes a point where theres too much and all a man wants to do#is hold another man close. or go on perfume dates or pottery lessons with another man.#small things to help healing or gentle things or silly playful things.#hell- even taking care of all the spawn with Astarion in the bad ending-#why are all the bad ending fics ive seen corn btw? I've seen like- zero non-corn ones.#i get it. I get the vibe. but like- also. consider. like- maybe I wanna read angst with. with no corn?? please?#I've got 4 unposted fluffy fics im working on. One being hurt-comfort with some extra hurt#which i had to stop writing for a bit today because it was hurting a bit TOO much.#but yea. a little less corn for Astarion? for those who aren't horndogs? please? or just don't wanna fuck him because they#dont wanna hurt him more- (im not at the point in game where he's comfy with sex again yet-)#BESIDES GALE IN THE WAVEMOTHER ROBES IS RIGHT THERE PEOPLE-#LIKE COME ON. IF YOU'RE GONNA SEXUALISE A MAN HE'S RIGHT THERE WITH HIS PUPPY DOG EYES AN HAIRY CHEST.#There needs to be more sexualisation of Gale. NO I don't take no for an answer (Astarion is still my favourite though-)
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Sometimes I get hope for unraveled but then I remember how much of an ick I got from keefe when reading unlocked and get sad again
#I hate the way he talked to fitz#I didnt enjoy his pov at all honestly it seemed to just point out all his flaws without acknowledging that they were flaws#I mean maybe it would get addressed in unraveled idk#it did have good moments I won’t deny#but I don’t like how there was so much praise out of Sophie as if she were perfect#she’s not perfect and that’s okay#it feels like he’s putting an expectation on her#he also seemed really cocky at the part where he was going i fix everything#I know he’s flawed and I love him for it#but reading from his pov didn’t hit for me#some parts I did like was him wanting to focus if the small victories I think that was sweet#it’s not completely bad I’m just dramatic about the cliffhanger on stellarune#but yeahhh#though the way KEEFE talked about fitz pissed me off cuz at that moment fitz seemed to have every good intention#also the way he doesn’t hesitate to announce emotions pisses me off#ugh I have such a love hate relationship with him and THSI series in general#I feel like over time I seem the liek the writing less and less :(#I wanna be 10 picking it up at the library for the first time again#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#anti keefe sencen
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Like 99% of the time I post digital art, I'm just trying something.
#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#robin#dc comics#fanart#my art#digital art#krita#do I kind of hate it? yes. It is still better than what I have done before? I hope so.#stop reading the tags I need to vent and I don't wanna here any of y'all complain about it#I hate that I'm so bad at this like I'm not good enough It's so frustrating it's so easier for others and me I'm making average stuff#you give it one look and you will never again it doesn't do shit it doesn't have the thing good art have it's not good enough#I'm a perfectionist but I have not been able to do anything perfectly since I was 8
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It turns out teaching is a lot more fun when you're not violently depressed
#thank u lamicta1 🖤#good news: i can be enthusiastic abt science and teaching again#bad news: i fucking suck at drawing and maybe dont actually want to do my phd project anymore#like there r so many other cool things out there aside from chl f. like i dont really care that much abt it. i just wanna do eps stuff :-/#also. still cant read. but ya kno#will i still b here by the end of the semester? fucking who knows#now im like. FUCK. i wanna go back to the desert where there r miles of cyanobacteria dominanted soil#but i dont wanna live in las vegas :-(#unrelated
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oh Wait A Second
Hang The Fuck On
Ive Got Another Thing Actually my beloved eloise Also came up with the dumbass plan to claim to be whistledown when she was backed into a corner by the queen it was a stupid plan then same as it was for cressida
the difference being eloise was confiding unwittingly To whistledown who immediately did everything in her power to shut that shit down for obvious reasons
ELOISE WAS IN DAMN NEAR THE SAME POSITION AS CRESSIDA WAS
at least in terms of personal desperation and impending doom closing in like for the love of fuck no one else could have possibly been in a better position to if not help then at the very Least EMPATHIZE
if everything went exactly as it had but *before* the dropping of the 'friendship soured' Out of Nowhere eloise had tried to comfort or reason with cressida Especially from this VERY RIDICULOUSLY SPECIFIC AND NICHE common thread but nuture and fear won out and cressida still went ahead with her ill-advised gambit?
and their friendship imploded accordingly
I would Not be nearly as annoyed as I am now because hey I like angst WHEN ITS GOOD STORYTELLING like damn
IT WAS RIGHT THERE Y'ALL ELOISE LITERALLY EXPERIENCED IT SHE HAD THE SAME THOUGHT WHY DID NO ONE USE THAT
#cressida cowper#im im y'all what#why#the more i sit here thinking about the less sense it all makes#i think maybe eloise is so bad at reading people that she thought#cressidas desperate attempt at finding a silver lining was geninue#and she just wrote her off in that moment#in my more delusional shipping mode i like to think my oblivious little babydyke el#heard cressida talking about this marriage with FEIGNED enthusiam and her heartbroke#like you can see in her eyes that shes trying to put on a brave face to smile through the horror of what cress is actually saying#and it hurts so much in a way she cannot quantify or understand#so she does the simplest thing a removes the source of it cressida#and then she reconciles with pen#and so she once again is not alone#and i think once she has the space and the quiet away she may start to feel the pain of cressida's absence just as keenly#as her presence just out of reach#and i want to be clear here i am not hating on eloise#i love eloise#i do however wanna meet some of these writers in a denny's parking#c'mon i just wanna talk#cressida x eloise#bridgerton spoilers
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more rejuv things but its. its just this guy again, im sorry shes all i can draw
#everyday im like i wanna draw :] and then i just end up with this thing on the page#i refuse to draw hands holding. because i cannot and im too lazy to figure it out#oh yea a couple of these i havent posted before because theyre lame to me but ill put them here for now#anyways!!#i was gonna say something about a couple of these but i forgot#oh well#pokemon rejuvenation#does she. lose her ribbon in blacksteeple. i forgot#she still has it to me..#to me her c15 hair tie is a torn part of the ribbon#anyways again. yesterday i finally figured out what the rejuvrp is. very cool stuff im so incredibly intrigued by it#i have no idea whats going on! but it looks so cool ill try to read it more later.#oh right again about the rejuvrp thing. the character designs ive seen are so so so cool i want to draw them so bad#i think i have to ask about that first though and there is! no way i am going to do that!!! i do not want to bother them#and i think my heart would explode from the fear of it all before i even typed the message.#that and im very lazy! theres a very good chance i wouldnt even draw it in the first place#anyways unrelated but i think if i get another comment from someone on something i Will Actually Explode.#i see someone said something and it kills me on the daily. what is happening... thank you.. i appreciate it very much...#sorry to whoever read all of that. um. hi youre really cool and i hope you have a good day/night#i think being on twitter has done something to me i have to leave it immediately. anyways back to twitter#wait actually i should go back to playing rejuv. im still in the grove from when i first posted the gym leader melia au. im afraid to leave#also play pokemon rejuvenation no i will not stop saying that everytime i post one of these
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[Panel of the Titans with a tumblr text post reading "ohana means family. family means having your life choices questioned and your flaws pointed out to you." /end ID]
#*#*dc#dc#the sometimes teen titans#dick grayson#roy harper#garth#donna troy#wally west#titans#god i'm obsessed with them#i wanna read ntt & titans v1 again so bad#10to2
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by far the coolest piece I've done so far, Day 6 of Linktober and Inktober: Mask and Golden
click for better quality
#my art#inktober#linktober#inktober 2023#linktober 2023#oot#ocarina of time#young link#ocarina of time link#link oot#keaton mask#majoras mask#link majoras mask#sorry for all the tags#just wanna cover all my bases#its so hard to see the screen rn my astigmatism is so bad rn#i think my eyelid is also swelling up again which is part of why my astigmatism seems worse than usual lmao#had pain in it all day#if you read the tags on my last post its like the same thing lmao#but yeah#this piece was really fun to do#im typing this at 4 am atm#having trouble sleeping and this was the perfect thing to get my mind off all the anxiety i was feeling#tho advice for anyone out there like me do not stay up till 4 am please XD#im just absolutely insane lmao#im afraid imma fall asleep and miss my therapy appt.#its at noon#idk if ill be able to wake up in time lol#but back to the piece it actually came out better than i imagined#ignore the hand tho that was the last thing i did and it killed me XD
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okay like. i haven’t read a lot. crippling undiagnosed adhd and probably memory issues have kept me from consuming books since like elementary school. i probably finished one assigned novel in high school and i finally finished a whole novel for fun last year. i’m churning through moby dick slowly atm, but as a decent editor and writer and hence someone associated with the writing community and seeing those booktok recs or whatever…
girl tell me why the first book i open. starts with a fucking. spotify playlist. like, i was Aware that these books were wattpad-level. but i didnt think it was THAT wattpad holy shit
#and i dont tend to judge music taste either#but let’s just say im looking at half of these artists on this playlist. and i can already Tell#also for context since i know people can bitch#it’s not that i DIDNT read during that time#i tried so fuckin hard to read. it’s just i would power thru a chunk. then have to put it down. and then by the time id be able to pick it#up again. i’d have forgotten everything and would have to start over again. eg i restarted the chopin bibliography i have like 3 times#i read quite a few short stories tho#the one book in high school was the wars btw. fuck i cant remember the author. timothy smth. but it was very good#anyways. just had to rant bc i wanna see Just How Bad It Is since i technically Am kinda working in a writing-community-adjacent thing#and need to see for myself. how bad this is. i just cant get past the spotify playlist im gonna cry#a while back i tried kinda reading bits of love hypothesis and god. GOD. HFNGNGNNGG#so i already have a suspicion for what im in for#but i need to see MORE of the bad smut people are calling prose or whatever#mandont
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legitimately wanna die bc i keep checking his blog and thinking obsessively about him and then i get pangs in my chest as i realize that he doesnt care abt me bc he has someone else again so he doesnt think of me and im sitting here going crazy bc i want him so bad but he doesnt want me he wants someone else 🥴
#i know i sound crazy but yeah like idk what to do i wanna die ^-^#bc like ok im here alone in my room with no friends no life no nothing. i have no one to talk to#i have nobody in the whole wide world to talk to... and im crying and all i can think abt him#while he is talking to the person he wants. and he's not crying all alone bc he loves me and wants me so bad#you see??? thats why im going crazy bc he'll be ok he has someone while i wont be ok and i dont have anyone#i dont even have a friend to talk to and cry to and be comforted by. i have no one.#and the loneliness is so suffocating and i see my future and i have been alone my entire life and i will always be alone#i just want a gun and off myself (not bc of him specifically but bc of the loneliness i've always had)#like idk i just cant let go of the fact that im crying checking his blog#while he isnt checking my blog at all and he isnt thinking of me at all bc he is thinking of her#yk that in of itself is so humiliating and so cruel 💀#and i know i sound ridiculous but idk im trying to read and im trying to watch smth and i just cant stop hurting#i can go non contact and try to forget him#but that will hurt so fkn bad bc he is all i want#but then i rmbr that im not what he wants#so what? will i just message him once every couple of months? all the while he'll have someone else#why would he even want to keep talking to me???? lmao like if he has someone why would he wanna talk to me at all?#and how am i gonna be ok w talking to him abt idk the fkn weather while i really wanna be in love w him but i cant bc he isnt mine???#but how am i supposed to just not talk to him ever again when he is the one person... i wanna talk to all day and know everything abt#which.. is the issue bc i feel that way abt him but he doesnt feel that way abt me bc hes wanting that with her#it just... doesnt work so idk what to do#it hurts that he found someone else to be worthy of a chance but not me.... i wasnt worth a chance
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hello.....yes im still in my bg3 hole...anyway, look at my fave evil little slut
#bg3 spoilers#he's awful!! he's a really bad guy!! i know!! i wanna put him on a shelf like a beanie baby#also how r all the shadowheart romancers doing after act 2........are we doing okay#***im about to spoil act 2 so literally stop reading rn lol***#anyway i got to the nightsong when balthazar showed up and beat my ass#so when i loaded my save again i just went straight to his room and killed him then went back to the nightsong#idk i was really torn on what to do because like. i didn't want to get in the way of shadowheart's mission or devotion#but it just felt really wrong so i stopped her!! and im glad i did lol i would've felt. so awful!! if i didn't!!#also all of the boss fights were so scary i was literally hanging on by a thread in each one rip
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fangirlextraordinaire
Just a small-town girl...