#up again. i’d have forgotten everything and would have to start over again. eg i restarted the chopin bibliography i have like 3 times

[universalsatan]

okay like. i haven’t read a lot. crippling undiagnosed adhd and probably memory issues have kept me from consuming books since like elementary school. i probably finished one assigned novel in high school and i finally finished a whole novel for fun last year. i’m churning through moby dick slowly atm, but as a decent editor and writer and hence someone associated with the writing community and seeing those booktok recs or whatever…

girl tell me why the first book i open. starts with a fucking. spotify playlist. like, i was Aware that these books were wattpad-level. but i didnt think it was THAT wattpad holy shit

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

It’s Just a Movie: Part 3 (Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Reader)

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

Warnings: cursing

Word count: 2034

Now, while you were technically in a life or death situation with four vampires, you couldn't lie to yourself and say that you hadn't wanted to explore Santa Carla at least once in your life. Not Santa Cruz. Santa Carla. Time had changed the boardwalk, the styles, the people. But, now, you were right in it. The actual 1980's Santa Carla. You climbed off of Dwayne's bike, and you couldn't hide your awe as you looked down the length of the coast.

The boardwalk was littered with teenagers with wild hair, piercings, and people of all sorts. There were games, rides, and bonfires already lighting up the beach. And not a cellphone in sight. It was weird, and suddenly the piece of technology felt heavy in your pocket. You had almost forgotten that you had it, and your hand went to smooth over the rectangle in your back pocket. Suddenly, all didn't seem lost. Though, you quickly reminded yourself that this was the eighties. No wifi. No data. Hell, you'd be lucky if you still had battery. The only thing you'd have access to were the pictures and downloads you had saved on your phone. Then, it hit you. Your contact list. While you couldn't call them through your smart phone, you assumed, maybe you could call your friends if you managed to find a phone-booth or something...Or, god, a landline. Even if it was only a semblance of a plan, it felt better than nothing. Now, you just had to figure out a way to ditch the four of them so you could get your hands on a phone and avoid becoming their next meal. 

"I'm guessing you haven't lived here long." David said, and you nearly jumped out of your skin. You looked over, and watched as he walked past you. The other three followed, with Marko grabbing one of your hands and pulling you to follow them. You supposed you hadn't been keeping your amazement subtle, and you already knew that he, and perhaps Marko, were the most observant of the four boys. Your voice was small as you supplied a simple,

"Yeah, just got here." You made a mental edit of your plan. You had to find a phone and ditch them before they found out you weren't exactly from here in more ways than one. You had a feeling that lying to him would be futile, and it was technically true. You really had just got there. He hummed, and then looked back at you. It was apparently Markos turn to pull you close, though the boy was closer to your height and chose to wrap an arm around your waist instead. He sent you a friendly smile, and you repeatedly reminded yourself over and over again that these four were not to be trusted. Horror movie. Killers. David sent you a smile, and, while it was as charming as his voice, it did nothing to calm your nerves.

"Explains your friends. Not everyone in Santa Carla is as nice as we are." David said, and you nearly wanted to laugh. Yeah, you were sure they were the nicest gang of killer vampires in the whole town. Maybe even the whole state. Instead, you hummed and said,

"Yeah, thanks for the ride. You guys...well, I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't met you." Now, that was the truth. You weren't just being sentimental with that statement. If you had been stuck here with not a familiar face in sight, in a strange town, and no way to call your friends? Well, you'd bet that you'd currently be having a panic attack in front of the movie theater. Not that you weren't just a few wrong moves away from having one right now. Paul practically jumped right next to you, squishing himself into your side and chirping a quick,

"You're welcome," before he added, "Y'know, your friends are kinda lame. Why don't you just hang out with us tonight?" He offered. Really, you swore that if you didn't know that these boys were vampires that you'd think they really might be some of the nicer people in Santa Carla. It wasn't like they knew you. But here they were, giving you rides, taking you to meet your friends, offering to hang out with you- Crap. You did a mental head shake. You had always made fun of Michael for falling so easily under their spell but here you were. You knew that they could be dangerous and, still, you were starting to think that you could trust them. You looked around for a moment, seeing four expectant set of eyes on you. Marko even tried to win you over by saying,

"C'mon, we're loads more fun." And, David, the charming bastard he was, gave you the most expectant look of all. 

"Yeah, c'mon, y/n." The way he said your name, it reminded you of exactly the way he'd said Michael's. You could practically guess what was going to come out of his mouth next. "How far are you willing to go?" It didn't seem nearly as menacing as it had when he'd said it to Michael, but it effected you all the same. He'd used a similar tone. Gauging. Taunting. Like he was playing a game of chicken and seeing if he could egg you on. You instinctively looked away from his face, and to the most neutral of the four vampires. But the look Dwayne was giving you didn't help, and you watched as he looked over your face. Just his stare could make you on edge. You said the best excuse you could think of, but even it sounded terrible to your own ears.

"I really shouldn't...they're expecting me." You said, and you internally cringed. It was a lie, and, like you expected, you watched as David seemed to be able to immediately tell. Or perhaps he was frowning from your refusal. Apparently, you weren't willing to go very far. You couldn't really tell, but the blondes besides you seemed hardly convinced. Though, you couldn't get the way David frowned out of your mind. Sure, Michael had been stupid to follow the boys and let himself get egged on, but he had lived. They had kept him around. That was what lead you to adding, "But- but, maybe... we could check out some stuff on the way?"

You hadn't known what to expect, but bouncing from store to store definitely wasn't it. They took you to a music store, which was filled to the brim with old, technically new, cassettes and vinyl. You managed to surprise them a little bit with your taste in music, as the twenty-first century had made it far too easy to listen to stuff from decades before. You were even tempted to buy some stuff, as you were sure you wouldn't find them for nearly as cheap back home. But, you had to be careful not to slip up when they asked you about your favorite bands. You still didn't technically know what year it was, so you stuck to bands from the seventies just to be safe. Paul ended up showing you a few records, and you tried not to blush as he dragged you into one of the listening booths. He popped a couple of records on, before putting the headphones snuggly over your ears. You tried not to be embarrassed by the close proximity, and were grateful when Marko called that they were leaving. Even if it cut into the conversation you and Paul were having about the record. Afterwards, you stopped at a little booth selling various jackets, trinkets, jewelry, and even a few patches. You looked through them with Marko, taking the time to really get a close look at his jacket. He noticed you staring, and propped his elbows up on the clear counter. He sent you a grin, and you were flustered and looking away before he could even tease you. You saw that the other three seemed to be more interested in the bracelets, and that's when you noticed the ones decorating Dwayne's wrists. You had missed it in all your previous viewings, but you weren't surprised that you had. The costume designers had done so many little details for their wardrobe, and Dwayne noticed you looking. But, instead of teasing you, he passed you a similar looking bracelet as the five of you walked down the boardwalk. You gave him a confused look, and his lips quirked up just the slightest bit.

"Doesn't fit my wrist." He explained nonchalantly, and you watched as he strode closer to the platinum blonde leading the pack. You smiled to yourself, and tried your best to tie it onto your wrist yourself. Paul ended up helping you, his nimble fingers working quickly. He didn't ask where you got the bracelet, and instead dragged you towards the arcade David had been leading you to.  

You didn't realize it until you asked one of them what time it was, making sure not to reach for your phone in your back pocket no matter how much of a habit it was, but it seemed that the boys also had a plan. You had relaxed, no matter how much you had tried not to, after spending what you realized was hours with them. It was getting late, and, when you finally made it to the carousel, none of them seem surprised when you said you didn't see your friends. Not that they'd actually be there waiting for you. But, still, the realization that they'd been stalling, making sure you would end up with no one else to hang out with that night, made you remember. Horror movie. Killers. You bet that any second David would be suggesting to take you to-

"You know where Hudson's Bluff is? Overlooking the point?" And you looked over at him. This was it. Your panic suddenly spiked at the idea of going back to the cave with them. No matter how cool it would be. No matter how much you wanted to see it for yourself. This was where everything went to shit. If you went back to the cave with them, there'd be no crowd to prevent you from getting murdered. You'd be alone. With them. Before any of them could jibe you into coming with, you quickly said,

"I should call them- my friends. Y'know, to- to make sure they're not worried about me. I don't want them telling my parents I got kidnapped or something." You quickly suggested, and the boys swayed for a moment. The three others looked between you and David, and you knew that they were waiting for his word. After a moment, he gave you a nod. You supposed that calling off any potential alarms would be something he'd be all for. And, hopefully, you could actually reach your friends.

"There's a phone booth at the end of the boardwalk. You can call your parents too. Tell them not to wait up." He said with a small grin, and it surprised you. If you didn't know any better, you'd almost think David was flirting with you. The walk back to the bikes, and to the phone booth, was surreal. David had pulled you closer to the front, but he wasn't nearly as affectionate as the others. Still, just standing next to him made you feel like you were doing more than you should.

You had meant to ditch them, but, now, they were only a few feet away. Sitting on their bikes. You felt stupid for having missed it when you first arrived, but the place had been swarmed with people. And the phonebooth seemed to purposely be stuck in a small, dark corner. You gulped as you closed the glass door behind you, and you rustled around in your pockets for loose change. The only thing you had was a nickel and a couple of pennies, and you cursed yourself for not keeping more change in your purse. Not that you knew how much it would cost anyways. You looked back out at where the boys were waiting on their bikes, having noticed that the crowds had thinned out considerably compared to when you first arrived. You gulped and cracked open the door.

[blackberry-gingham]

This was kinda inspired by the previous anons request but could you write headcannons/imagines (whichever you think fits best) about being an actress and meeting their lad on the set of one of their movies/a movie

(Ok ik I have other requests waiting looong behind this one, but it's going to bug me if I don't do this first, so I'll post my next chronological request tomorrow instead of my usual every other dayish schedule! Thanks guys ❤️)

Honestly, the absolute MOOD™ of this gif has been on my mind for like all of the following imagines. Like the on periodt FLAVOR that actress is rocking, all done up and everything ?? John or [insert one of the other three] ob-sessed with you ?? Literally yes. So yeah, there's my overview lol, the rest is up to your imagination!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! 😌

George

You meet George on your way to grab a little refreshment before your scene in between takes

You've got a nice little flute of wine, to calm the nerves of course, when suddenly you get bumped rather harshly from behind!

Luckily your drink spilled on the floor and not your nice costume, but still, you're about to give whomever it is a piece of your mind!!

You turn on a dime and come face to face with... Oh

There, only inches away, stands the George Harrison, with a mouthful of food, a wrapped up snack for later, and eyes wide as saucers

It's a race to see who can apologise first

While you over come your shock at nearly cursing out one of the stars of the show, he hurriedly chews and swallows the last of his snack

"I'm so sor-" "-eg your pardon!"

You overlap each other with your apologies, causing a similar scenario again as you both accept the other's apology

The two of you chuckle a bit at that

At this point, George feels like he's just now getting a good look at you

He wonders if you're a recent hire, bc otherwise he certainly would've noticed the most beautiful woman in the building before now

Suddenly a touch self conscious, he wipes the crumbs from the corners of his mouth and scrambles for a way to make small talk

It's not really his forte, you see

Luckily, you come in to save him

You cock your head to look at his napkin of snacks

"What have you got there?"

"Oh these? N-nothing, just some scones or something like that"

He crosses his arms behind his back, like he's embarrassed to be caught smuggling snacks

"Oh! Have you tried the cream cheese and raspberry ones? They're to die for!"

George loosens up a bit. He wouldn't have guessed you were something of a food fan too...

He brings around his napkin of goodies and unwraps it a bit for you to see

"I have actually, would you like one?"

You thank him and take one, savouring the flavor while he pops another into his mouth as well

"See, quite good! Although, I'd dare say mine are better"

You laugh, but George simply stares

"You bake?" He says through a mouthful of scone, eyes alight

Of course you confirm that you do indeed, and your cooking is fantastic too, thank you very much!

The two of you talk about some of your favorite treats to make and from there... Well, George is pretty sure he's met his soul mate

John

Now when you meet John, I think you approach him!

He's backstage taking a smoke

You'd think he's just having a quick break to relax before filming starts, but the way he's looking around, shifting his weight, and fiddling with his outfit says it all

Classic stage fright

You remember those days, but as a seasoned, successful actress, you've learned a few tips and tricks you think might help!

For one thing, getting to know more then just your co-stars is a bit of a relief

Plus, I mean... It's John Lennon! And have I mentioned you're a bit of a fan?

So you approach, completely unfazed, and poor old Lennon does a double take

Out of gentlemanly habit, he immediately puts out his dart when he sees you coming

You come right up and introduce yourself with a "how do you do"

Now at this point, normally he'd respond with a witty but dirty pick up line, but...

He can't tell if he's just not in the mood from his nerves or what, but he just can't bring himself to do it

Or maybe... Maybe there's just something about you?

It's not every day such a fetching woman approaches him without screaming her head off and begging for an autograph in the process

Besides, there's just this air of confidence about you that puts him at ease

You make it look so effortless too!

He wishes he could be like that...

John nods respectfully with a quiet "just fine thanks"

He doesn't bother to introduce himself, he simply assumes everyone here knows who he is

You tilt your head and smile invitingly

"Are you sure? Excuse me for saying so, but you seem a bit nervous"

Well, regarding the filming coming up, he was a bit, but standing here, talking with you?

He certainly is now!

"It's fine, just thinking about my lines and such"

You can tell he's lying, but you let the matter go to switch up tactics

"Well I'm sure you'll be just fine out ther- Oh? Hold on..."

You casually saunter up to him as though you've known him for years to straighten his tie and smooth down his lapels

Despite your boldness, John puts up no resistance. In fact, he finds he rather enjoys your touch

He's so use to a more... different sort of touch when it comes to women, to the point that he's nearly forgotten just how fulfilling soft and gentle contact like this can be

Forgetting himself, John leans into your palms a bit as you finish petting them across the chest of his suit

You definitely notice, but decide to have mercy and say nothing about it

"Just remember, if you need a little stage advice out there, I'll be around"

You wink at him and walk off to your dressing room

John waits a moment until your out of sight, weighing what just happened in his mind

You know what?

He smiles to himself and jogs after you

Maybe he does want some advice...

Paul

Now Paul I think is the one guy of the four to seek you out!

You're relaxing in your dressing room adding just a few small touch ups to your lipstick and so on until you're on

When the gentle knock comes to your door, you assume it's your assistant come to fetch you

You check the time and then hurry over to answer the door

"Yes yes, I-"

Paul is standing with his hands clasped behind his back, a respectful distance from your door

When he'd heard you were the leading lady of this film, he knew he simply had to see you in person

He's a bit of a fan himself you see, and he can tell you right now, the camera doesn't do you half justice

Paul's mouth forms a little "O" as he looks you up and down so quick, it's almost subtle

Not at all impressed, you look at him expectantly, but try to hold back any attitude

"Can I help you, Mr. McCartney?"

He snaps out of his daydream and at last looks at you with the respect you deserve

"Oh, my apologies love, I just wanted to greet my co-star!"

Paul gingerly takes your hand and kisses your knuckles

Alright, maybe you're a little impressed

"I've heard so much about you, I couldn't believe it when they told me you were going to be a part of our little film"

He laughs, and then clears his throat awkwardly

"Sorry, I guess I'm just something of a fan"

You're a bit taken aback to see Paul, the ladies man himself, McCartney acting flustered, but what a compliment for one of the Beatles to be a fan of you

Needless to say, you're nice about his being awkward and hang around for a little conversation

He tells you about all the movies he's seen you in and how wonderful a job he thought you did

You're really enjoying the moment, after all, what a rare one it is! Until your assistant comes to fetch you and Paul for filming

"Oh yes, we'll be right along!"

Paul calls after your assistant and more or less shoos them away

Once you two are alone again, Paul fidgets a moment fishing around in his pockets

"Now I know you get this a lot-"

He pulls out a newspaper article and a pen, then holds them out to you

Upon closer inspection, it's the headline from when you were recognized for your first acting award

"But could I please get your autograph?"

Then he leans in and whispers, "and please don't tell the lads..."

You laugh and assure him his secret is safe as you sign your name in flowing script before handing him his prize

Paul looks like a child in a candy shop, he's so excited

You smile sweetly and begin heading towards the filming site

Before you know it Paul trots up beside you, following close

He looks from you to his newspaper clipping once and then twice before his eyes linger on you

"You know, I have a record from one of your plays back at the hotel... Could you-?"

At first you shoot him a look, but the puppy eyes he's giving you assures you he means no funny business, so you promise him ❤️

Ringo

You meet Ringo backstage in between sets, right before your scene

And when I tell you the first time Ringo sees you, he immediately knows he would die for you...

!!! RINGO. IS. STAR STRUCK !!!

You're already gorgeous as is, so when his first time seeing you is all done up with your hair, outfit, and makeup for the movie he's just BLOWN AWAY

And as he should be 💅🏻

There's still a decent bit of time before he needs to take his place or anything like that, which is good bc his brain is in a whole other dimension rn

You're absolutely magnetic and all he can think to do is approach

"Oh, hello Mr. Starr! Can I help you?"

"hi"

You blink at him for a moment, not quite sure what's happening

But when it hits you, you quickly cover your mouth with a gloved hand, trying your very best not to laugh at the poor guy

Ringo however, is completely under your spell at the moment

"I uuuuh, I'm Ringo"

His big droopy eyes are absolutely transfixed in a dreamlike haze on your beautiful face, and he offers you his hand to shake

Now you're REALLY trying not to laugh

You give his hand a shake, brushing off any awkward feelings, and introduce yourself

Ringo repeats your name aloud, looking now as though he's been transported into a dream

That's your name? He loves that name! How did you know!

After a moment of awkward silence while you let him process, he thankfully seems to return to reality

"Ahem, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you"

He looks away quickly, now starting to realize he's made himself out to be quite the fool

"Well I feel rather silly, uh"

He scratches his neck and sneaks a glance up at you

Thankfully, you're very understanding! You have a lot of fans, and his behavior isn't quite unheard of in your experience

"Oh, no no! It's no trouble at all!"

You give a genuine laugh and tell him you're always glad to meet a fan

Ringo responds with a little humor to relieve any last traces of tension or awkwardness and then laughs his deep, goofy laugh

You contemplate what a strange but wonderful sound it is

And you know? wouldn't mind sticking around to hear it again...

Besides, he's clearly already very interested in you

That, and it's nice to meet a gentle soul amongst your fan base, rather then the clamoring men and women you're used to

Ringo smiles at you with pure admiration, before picking up some easy small talk with you, just as though you're anyone else

It's at that moment you officially fall for him

[haikyuupaladin]

One Day

Since today is Epilepsy Awareness day, I thought I’d write a fic that raises some awareness for epilepsy. It’s a day in Asahi’s life with epilepsy. I hope you all enjoy! See the end for some important notes!

***

Asahi groaned as he rolled over in bed and looked at his alarm clock. His eyes blew open in surprise when he saw how late it was. “Shit. I’m going to be late for practice.” He ran to the bathroom with his volleyball clothes in hand, splashing his face with water, brushing his teeth, and quickly taking his meds as he tried to get dressed as quickly as possible at the same time. Once he’d done that, he threw some bread in the toaster and scrambled to make sure he had everything he needed for the day in his backpack and gym bag. When the toast was done, he quickly grabbed everything and ran out the door, eating the toast as he ran to practice.  

“Sorry I’m late!” He called out as he burst through the doors of the gym, trying to catch his breath.

“Oi, Azumane!” Coach Ukai called out and he winced. He’d only been back on the team for a week. This was not the impression he wanted to make on the new coach. “Warm up and then I want to talk to you for a bit!”

“Ok!” Asahi yelped. A week of being back and he was sure to get kicked off the team already at this rate. Coach Ukai probably thought he was being lazy and avoiding practice, never mind the fact that the rest of the team had just barely finished their warmups when he’d made it there. Their last coach had been super strict about attendance and Daichi had said that the new coach was his grandson, so Asahi was wary. 

He did his warmups as carefully as possible, putting off the lecture he was sure to receive, but eventually, there was nothing more he could do to warmup. He slowly stride over to where Coach Ukai was sitting on the bench, flipping through something on his clipboard. 

“Sit,” the man gestured to the bench beside him, and Asahi reluctantly joined him.

“I really am sorry I was late today coach, it won’t happen again! I must’ve slept through my alarm but I promise I’ll make sure I’m early tomorrow to make up for it!” Asahi started rambling until he was given a strange look and interrupted.

“What? No no no, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. You’re like… five minutes late, it’s not a big deal as long as you don’t make it a habit to be late every day.” Asahi let out a sigh of relief. 

“What did you want to talk to me about then?” Asahi asked, wracking his brain for any other topics he should be worried about.

“The school just finally gave me your file,” Ukai told him and Asahi froze. 

“If this is about that fight with Noya last year I promise that won’t happen again either!” Asahi panicked.

Ukai gave him a deadpan stare. “Will you let me finish what I’m saying before you start panicking?! You’re not in trouble, that was already dealt with and frankly, as long as it doesn’t affect the team going forward,  I don’t really care. What I do care about is the fact that I’m technically responsible for you kids now. I wanted to talk to you about the medical section of your records.”

Asahi sighed, in relief but also frustration. “Oh. That. Yeah, I have epilepsy, it shouldn’t interfere with volleyball though. Well except for some of my doctor’s appointments but I can schedule those around anything major. I haven’t had a seizure in a year and a half and on the off chance something did happen, all the third years and Tanaka and Noya know and they all know what to do.” By the time he was halfway through his explanation, Asahi was no longer sure if he was trying to reassure the coach or himself. Just because his meds were working, didn’t mean there wasn’t the possibility of a breakthrough seizure at any time, and if that happened, it could interfere with volleyball, and that was the absolute last thing he wanted. 

“Is there anything I should look out for?” Ukai pressed. 

“Trust me, if something happens, you’ll know,” he laughed,  slightly bitter. 

“I know that kid,” groaned Ukai. “I meant like… before.”

“Not really,”  Asahi shrugged. “My parents say they can tell by my eyes but I don’t really know what they mean by that.” 

Ukai nodded. “And let’s say something does happen, what should I do?” 

“Mainly just time it and get anything I can hurt myself on away from me” Asahi mumbled wanting to get away from this conversation now. He knew the coach was trying to be helpful, but talking about it like this was making him more nervous that something would happen, and that was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. “Can I go join practice now?” 

“Sure,” Ukai pinched the bridge of his nose, looking frustrated. “Just… let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Asahi nodded cautiously before running off to join the rest of the team in spiking drills. 

***

“What was that all about earlier?” Suga asked when they stopped for a water break. 

“You’re not in trouble or anything are you? I can talk to coach if you are,” Daichi chimed in.

“It was nothing like that,” Asahi shook his head, appreciating his friends’ concern. “He wanted to talk about my epilepsy.”

Suga raised an eyebrow at that. “Really? He does know you haven’t had a seizure since first year, right?”

“I mean, it makes sense though,” Daichi shrugged. “I don’t think he has any experience with that sort of stuff, makes sense he’d be a little freaked out I guess.” 

Kiyoko nodded quietly beside him. 

“It was kind of embarrassing though,” Asahi admitted, whining. 

“Why?” Daichi laughed.

“I’m pretty sure none of the first years even noticed,” Kiyoko said, placing a hand on Asahi's back comfortingly. 

“Hinata and Kageyama definitely didn’t,” Suga said, eyes sparkling with laughter. “They were too busy fighting, I’m not even sure what started it,but Tsukishima was encouraging it.”

“And you were doing nothing to stop it,” Daichi pointed out. “I can’t believe you’re my vice captain sometimes.”

“Hey! Let me have my fun!” Suga complained. “I would’ve stepped in if it got out of control but it was amusing and you seemed to have it under control anyway.”

Asahi relaxed as the conversation turned towards the antics of the first years. Suga always knew just how to steer the conversation how he wanted to, and not for the first time, Asahi was glad that Suga used that for his benefit sometimes. 

***

The rest of practice had gone by without incident, Kiyoko and Suga were right, nobody else had even noticed Coach Ukai calling him over, or if they did they’d chosen not to ask about it. The conversation had made Asahi more aware of potential auras than usual though, and it had been hard to focus in class. He had a weird headache for a bit during third period and he’d spent most of class muttering to himself and fidgeting with his hands, trying to focus on the fact that his jaw and hands seemed to be working just fine, finding reassurance in that, though he was still nervous.  He’d have to ask Kiyoko for the notes later. 

It was lunchtime now though, and Asahi hoped that his friends would be a welcome distraction from his worries. “Asahi! Hey!” Noya called out as Asahi exited his classroom. He chuckled fondly and shook his head.

“Hey Noya, what’s up?” 

Noya regaled Asahi with stories of his day as they walked to meet up with Daichi, Suga, and Tanaka. How Noya always had so much to say, Asahi would never know but he was grateful for it right now, the conversation kept him from getting too stuck in his own head. He grinned as they spotted the others and joined them, the rest of his worries melting away for the moment as they fell into easy conversation, Daichi scolding Noya and Tanaka for their antics as Suga egged them on. 

After practice, Daichi, Suga, and Kiyoko walked home with Asahi for their weekly movie night. He’d been avoiding them during his time off the team, but it was nice to see how quickly they fell back into these old habits with him. He’d missed Daichi and Suga’s teasing and their laughter and how they would jostle him around, and he’d missed how Kiyoko would giggle at their antics despite her halfhearted futile attempts to get them to behave.

He was even more grateful for how easily they fell back into old habits when the movie they chose ended up having more flashing lights than he remembered. On another day he might’ve been able to brush it off and keep watching, but despite having calmed down from earlier, he was still being more vigilant than usual, so he covered his eyes and looked away. Suga noticed and paused the movie.

“Shit, sorry Asahi, we forgot how bad this part can get. You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Asahi mumbled, a little self conscious about how nervous he was. On any other day he’d be able to handle this so it was a little embarrassing to be avoiding them right now.

“So how are we doing this?” Daichi asked casually. “Different movie or do you want us to narrate for you?”

Asahi laughed. He’d almost forgotten how easily his friends adapted to these situations for him. 

“Narrating’s fine. We all like this movie and if we have to pick a new one we’ll have to reschedule movie night with how long it’ll take us to decide.”

Daichi laughed. “That’s true. Ok then, you ready to start back up?” 

Asahi nodded, and soon the room was filled with more laughter than before as Daichi and Suga humorously described what was going on, with Kiyoko chiming in with quiet corrections or details that the other two were forgetting to mention. Asahi couldn’t help but laugh at some of the descriptions his friends were using and his heart filled with warmth as his friends did their best to make sure he didn’t miss anything about the movie, even throwing in some of their usual jokes about the movie in their descriptions.

***

Later that night, Asahi’s friends escorted themselves out and headed home. He still lay on the couch, too tired to move, but groaning as he knew he had to. He wanted to pass out on the couch, but he had to go take his nighttime dose of his meds. He lay there for a few more minutes before finally deciding if he didn’t get up now, he wasn’t going to be able to and dragging himself off the couch. He walked drowsily to the bathroom, blearily took his meds and then stumbled to bed. It had been a long day, but a good one, he smiled to himself as he fell asleep.

*** 

Notes time! First I want to make it clear that the medical side of things depicted here is based on my personal epilepsy and should not be read as a one size fits all type of deal. 

Second, Ukai’s assumption that it will be noticeable when Asahi has a seizure is accurate for Asahi, but not for everyone. Some types of seizures are barely noticeable on the outside, if at all, and even then you have o know what you’re looking for. 

Third, Asahi’s explanation of seizure first aid is not a complete explanation, for more on seizure first aid please look at https://www.epilepsy.com/living-epilepsy/seizure-first-aid-and-safety (I’m not making it a link so it will show up in the tags, but I have provided the entire url).

Fourth, an aura is a warning sign or set of warning signs leading up to a seizure. Not everyone has one, and it can be hard to recognize it if you do sometimes. 

And fifth, Please take today as an opportunity to learn more about epilepsy. www.epilepsy.com and www.talkaboutit.org are my personal favorite starting points to recommend, as well as reading through some of the blogs in the epilepsy community here on tumblr. 

[mysterytickingegos]

Thanksgiving Break Ficlets: Wilford Warfstache

Pairing: Wilford Warfstache x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 580

Authors Note: God help me I hate writing on mobile but I am tremendously bored so these are coming out until thanksgiving night. ALSO if you’re reading this my request post has been fixed!

Want to read more?

[Image Description: A gif of Wilford Warfstache from the short “Warfstache interviews Markiplier” laughing as a boom mic falls into frame. End Description.]

Most people hated the idea of working during the holidays, but your job was actually rather entertaining, and after declining taking a plane back home you figured it was much better than staying by yourself. Had you known you would have been the only crew member who came to work, you might've chosen to spend thanksgiving with your computer instead.

You glanced up at your boss, the host of this disaster of a show and the one who made the decision to air it today, of all days. He looked up from his notepad and flashed you an award-winning grin, and who were you kidding, this was better. "Everyone will be at home, watching television with their families. That means ratings!" He had told you all the week before, and you had been too enamored by the goofy man to notice your colleagues reactions.

Now it was just the two of you in the studio (not including your guest) desperately running around during commercial breaks to try and make sure everything was running smoothly. After too many mishaps while you were live, you had to duct tape the boom mics to an accent table, the guest had turned out to be equal parts boring and irritating, and most of those ratings ended up directed towards pretty much anything else.

But once Wilford bid his audience goodbye, your guest ran for her life, and the cameras shut off, he just laughed. He laughed until he was doubled over and ran his hands through his hair. "Oh that was ridiculous, wasn't it?"

You laughed as well, starting to tear the tape away so you could put the mics away. "I thought it was kinda fun"

"That too!" He exclaimed, standing to help you do the four person job. "So what are your plans for the evening? Enjoying the holidays with a special someone?"

He wiggled his eyebrows at you playfully and you blushed, shaking your head. "No, there uh...there's no special someone. Unless you count Netflix."

"Huh." He hummed curiously, before muttering under his breath; "Surprising..."

Your head shot up when it clicked what he might've meant by that, but he was no longer looking at you. "So...how about you, Wilford? Anybody waiting up on you?"

"Nope, I'm afraid it's just going to be me myself and I!" He said, his cheery tone back before you could blink. "Unless..."

"Unless?" You egged him to go on, your work going forgotten now as you tried to hide your excitement.

He shrugged, giving you another lopsided smile you might say was shy if you didn't know any better. "Well, why not enjoy each other's company? We're here together already, anyway."

"Sure, I'd love that."

"Great!" He snapped his fingers and put everything in order, already walking off to the staff room. "I'm sure there's a take-out place or two that's still open."

"...Wait just a second, how long have you been able to do that?" You called after him, following quickly behind. "And why didn't you do it earlier?"

"And waste an opportunity to finally get to know the strikingly gorgeous person behind the camera?" He turned around abruptly, having to catch your arms before you ran straight into him. He chuckled at the bright blush covering your cheeks now. "Now why would I do that?"

"W-well..." You took a tiny step back, clearing your throat awkwardly. "I'm glad you didn't."

"Good." He turned around and began moving forward again. "So, pizza or chinese?"

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[maknaesdancersrappers]

Devoted 2.

part 10

Overall warning/s: kinkier smut (eg. voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc.) character death, dark themes

Chapter warning/s: vulgar language, violence

Just how devoted is Jaehyun to you?

prev: part 9

wc: 6.3k

You, your mom, Jaehyun’s mom, Yebin, and Minkyung had arrived at the resort a little past noon and were immediately served lunch as the resort staff brought your bags to the room. After eating and resting for a bit, Jaehyun’s mom led everyone to where the wedding venue could be and visualized it for them.

The pathway to the recreational garden had butterfly bushes on each side that lead to a spacious circular area that could fit just enough for your target wedding entourage. There was a gorgeous fountain offset from the center of the area that had beautiful, healthy, large kois swimming about in the basin and a metal fence that had Chinese honeysuckles creeping through the bars that separated the area from the beach.

“What do you think, sweetheart?” Jaehyun’s mom turned to you, eyes sparking and hopeful. A resort staff brings over a tray of champagne for everyone and leaves after everyone has their own glass.

“It’s beautiful, definitely.” You looked up at the looming cherry blossom trees over the fountain, imagining what it would look like when spring comes with the petals filling each basin and flowing down with the water. “But I feel like there’s something missing.”

Minkyung took pictures for you on your phone to send to Jaehyun and for his mom to use as reference for planning. “What’s the color scheme again?”

“Pink and gray.” You answer, although a bit unsure if you wanted to push through with it. “Unless it’s too pink? With the cherry blossoms and all?”

“It depends on the shade of pink you want.” Jaehyun’s mom interjects, “I suggest something a bit deeper… like watermelon.”

“Wouldn’t that be red already?” Yebin curiously speaks up, already finished with her drink, hanging it haphazardly by the flute’s foot between her fingers.

“No, not literally watermelon red.” You explain, “It’s a darker shade of pink. Ah, I wish I had my paint swatches.”

She waves her other hand, “No, no, it’s okay. Just don’t make me wear anything short as a bridesmaid.”

“Isn’t the trend to use infinity dresses for bridesmaid gowns? That was my plan.” You walked over to her and linked your arm with hers. The sea breeze was cool despite the afternoon sun; it was a perfect day to lounge by the pool or wade in the shallow waters of the beach. You leaned your head on Yebin’s shoulder and sighed, “I don’t think I want to get married here. It’s a nice venue, maybe for a reception, but not the ceremony.”

“Then let’s go to my aunt’s place! I haven’t even been there, but knowing her, it’ll be gorgeous.” Yebin leans back on you, “She’s a landscaper.”

The private property was completely walled off with 2-story cement walls with vines creeping up from the ground. From the metal gates up to the parking space in front of the house were tall pine trees and the road leading up to the majestic water fountain surrounded by rose bushes was gray gravel. There was a woman that stood just where the gravel stopped and was replaced by ceramic tiles; she had salt and pepper pixie cut hair and wore high waist trousers with a simple tank top. Something about her screamed ‘boss bitch’ and you’re not doubting she’s related to Yebin.

“Eunyong!” Jaehyun’s mom greets once the car comes to a stop, throwing her hands up as the woman approaches her. They kiss their cheeks and hug each other, “Thank you for this.”

“Oh, honey, you know this is nothing. Who is she? Who’s the lucky girl marrying your son?”

Jaehyun’s mom holds her hand out to you and you bashfully greet her, “Hello. I’m [Y/N].”

“To be marrying Jung Jaehyun and having his mom plan the wedding?” She takes your hands and smiles fondly at you, “You’re a lucky girl. You must be so happy.”

“I still can’t believe it myself.” You admit, “Thank you, again, for lending your property.”

“Anything for the Jungs. Oh, Yebin! What a small world, you’re friends with [Y/N]?”

Yebin gives her aunt a kiss on the cheek, “We were roommates all our college life with Minkyung.” She gestures to her, who bows her head in greeting.

“My! I think I’ve seen you in a fashion show in Europe, my dear.”

Minkyung blushes, “Well, I am a model.”

After you introduce your mom and a few more pleasantries, Eunyeong gives you a tour of her property. She first led everyone to the 3-story mansion and explained that it had 15 ensuite bedrooms, 4 extra bedrooms, and the first floor was mostly an open living area with a luxurious kitchen and pantry to the right and an olympic sized pool, with half under the building and the other half exposed under the sun. She then walked through the marbled floors, guiding everyone to the garden. Like the resort, there were hedges that separated the grass from the sandy beach. Tall trees, among them were cherry blossoms, were lined along the walls and varieties of bushes and shrubs grew beneath them.

“This area is a blank canvas for you, [Y/N].” Eunyeong puts a hand on your shoulder, gesturing to the wide space of grass in front of them. “Tell me what the color scheme is and I’ll have the perfect flowers ordered so they’ll be ready by the wedding.”

“Pink and gray, but I’m still on the fence about it.”

“Don’t worry, dear, I’ll take care of it. I have a few ideas already.” Jaehyun’s mom assures you, opening the iPad she had and taking a picture of the landscape. “And if you’re still unsure, then it’s fine. We have months to go.”

A ringtone erupts from behind you and Minkyung exclaims, “Oh, [Y/N]! Jaehyun is calling!”

You had almost forgotten she had your phone, thanking her as she hands you the phone and you take a few steps away from them to answer the call. “Babe?”

“Hi, baby. Just thought I’d check up on you.”

“I’m alright. I was going to send you pictures so you can help me decide but,” You paused; staring at the open garden. Eunyong was right, it was like a blank canvas. You weren’t able to visualize it awhile ago, but now that you’re hearing Jaehyun’s voice, your mind just paints the picture in your head and it almost makes you tear up, “I think this is where I want to marry you.”

“Is it that beautiful?” There was that specific teasing tone in his voice that you would have rolled your eyes at, but instead you let yourself chuckle, eyes still fixated forward; taking notice of the waves past the green hedges.

“It’s perfect.”

After meeting with Eunyong and having a meal there, they return back to the resort where the mothers spent most of their day at the spa, while the quote-unquote younger generation lounged by the pool to get a tan. Yebin and Minkyung tried to plan a bachelorette party, but you turned them down, not wanting one at all. They all met up again for dinner, enjoying the 5-course meal by the window that opened up to the beach. Minkyung and Yebin fill the silence with stories from their work; Minkyung shares some runway mishaps and minor wardrobe malfunctions she’s had and Yebin tells them about the business ventures she’s been tackling. When it came to you, you expressed your concerns about starting your own company, adding the fact it stemmed from Jaehyun’s wishes for you to stay at home instead. You couldn’t help but catch the disappointed and worried look on his mother’s face before she covered it up by drinking her glass of wine.

When they all retreat into their suite, Jaehyun’s mom opted to head out to the balcony and sit out there. You hadn’t paid much attention to it, going to your room to get ready for bed, but when you’ve done your nightly routine and talked a bit with Jaehyun on the phone, you stared up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. You slipped out of your room, thinking Jaehyun’s mom must have gone to bed, until you were proven wrong as you see her still seated outside holding herself from the cold, night air. Grabbing a spare blanket from the cabinets, you walked over to her and put it over her shoulders.

“Mrs. Jung, you’ll get sick.” You quietly said, taking a seat on the adjacent chair.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re marrying my son. You can call me mom or mother now.” She softly chuckles, “And I hadn’t realized that I’ve been out here for too long. I just remembered something, that’s all.”

“If you’d like, you could talk about it to me.” You offered, folding your hands over your lap, “I’ve learned the hard way that it’s not best to go to sleep with a heavy heart.”

“It’s nothing, dear, you don’t have to worry.” She looks over to the dark abyss of the night sea, unable to see the waves crashing into the shore despite hearing them clear as day. Every now and then an owl hoots somewhere in the trees. She looks back at you with a smile, eyes tired from the day’s activities, “How about you, dear? It seems like you can’t sleep either.”

You wanted to tell her everything; from what Jaehyun had done in college to the current issue at hand. This woman is going to be your in-law, yet she’d been acting like your second mother since you’ve met her. A part of you always feared she’d be wicked and mean towards you, but all those thoughts were thrown out the window once you got to know her more.

“I…” You started off, and her perfect brow just lifted up ever so slightly, “I know about Jaehyun’s disorder; the BPD.”

In an instant, there was shock in her eyes as if she had heard you wrong, but then it morphed into something similar to fear. “Oh. H-how did…?”

So you told her everything you could in the steadiest voice you can muster; from the incident in college, to the therapy sessions, to the threats against you, you told her everything and it amazes you that you were able to admit it without crying. You’re not going to lie; telling someone else felt relieving, especially since it’s someone who knows Jaehyun — literally raised him. You only stopped when you noticed her eyes tearing up and you internally panicked.

“You know about my son’s condition?” Her lips quivered, brows finally burrowed and a hand flies over her mouth to contain her sob.

“M-mother…” You stuttered, holding your hands out to her. “I— no matter what happens, I’m not going to tell anyone else about it, I promise—”

“Oh, sweetheart,” She quietly cries, “All these years, I’ve feared my son won’t be able to find someone to love and understand him. [Y/N], you’re godsent. You know what goes through his head… he’s shown you what he could do… yet you stayed? You still want to marry him?”

This makes you tear up, somewhat understanding the fear of a mother for their child. “I’ve thought about it for so long honestly, but no matter what excuses I come up with, I can’t imagine a future without him.”

She cries a little harder, hiding her face into her palms. You move to sit beside her, putting an arm around her and hugging her gently. After a while, you pull away and she looks at you with a smile. “Thank you for loving my son.”

“Thank you for giving birth to him.”

This makes both of you laugh as she pulls you into a hug, “[Y/N], sweetheart, if ever his BPD acts up, if  he ever scares you again, please come to me, okay?”

You replied with a promise, hugging back and feeling your eyes stinging at the sudden weight being lifted over your chest.

“Now,” She says, pulling away and holding onto your shoulders, “Tell me more about these threats. I can’t believe Jaehyun wouldn’t tell us about it.”

“He probably thinks he has it under control and I trust him. We don’t want any of you to worry.”

“That’s nonsense! We’re your parents, we’re always worried about you.” She scolds, “But knowing Jaehyun, he probably has done the most he can do. I’m sure this issue will be resolved soon… and I’m sorry for the things Jaehyun has done in the past. I wish I could say I would have done something to stop him, but his father—”

She stops mid-sentence, lashes fluttering as she realizes the words that were about to come out of her mouth. She inhales deeply, “You’re marrying into the family. You have the right to know. Most of the Jungs have BPD; it’s horrible that it’s genetic, but with proper therapy it would mean nothing.”

You licked your lips, already knowing this fact. “So… Jaehyun’s father…”

“His father and I were arranged to be married. It made sense because our parents were business partners so we didn’t have any qualms on it, his father was quite handsome — I’d have to admit that Jaehyun is practically the carbon copy of him now. But then eventually, I learned that his father had personally requested to have us arranged. When I confronted him about it, he chalked it up to him liking me but being shy around me. He first showed me his true colors when he demanded me to quit my work; I’m an event planner, I travel all around the country for my work if needed and he didn’t like that. He accused me of cheating and such, which were all false of course, but he just couldn’t believe it. He started getting angry, very vocal, never laid a hand on me though, but I still got scared. It was when we found out that I was pregnant with Jaehyun that he finally told me everything about him, how he was scared he’d inherit it. That was the first time I’ve seen him so vulnerable and raw. It was then I decided to obey him and quit my job.”

“I thought you left your job to take care of Jaehyun.”

“No,” She sighs, “I left my job because his father told me to.”

“I’m sorry, baby.”

You smiled, although your brows were furrowed. It was Monday morning and you were preparing lunch since Kyungwon was coming over to work things out for Yuta’s apartment. Jaehyun was supposed to arrive later that evening until you received a call from him and put him on speaker.

“Jaehyun, it’s fine. I understand. Work is work. Do what you have to do.” But you have to admit you’re a little disappointed his trip had to be extended for a few more days since he had to go to China to meet up with Sicheng.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“You don’t have to. Just stay safe, okay?” You silently hissed when you accidentally touched the metal knob of the pot lid. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Tell Kyungwon I said hi.”

“Okay. Bye, baby.” You glanced over to your phone and waited for him to drop the call before checking the penne pasta you’ve been boiling. Kyungwon had originally told you to come to the office, but you insisted she came over instead and she had no qualms about it. You’ve already laid out your laptop and papers on half of the dining table so you two could get things done quickly.

She arrives a little past twelve since she came from the office and right off the bat, you could tell something was off with her. She was still her bubbly self, but something wasn’t right. You couldn’t question her about it because she commented about being hungry and it would be rude to keep your guest waiting for food.

“Oh my god! So you’ve chosen a wedding location already? Ah! [Y/N], I’m so excited for you!” She squeals, vibrating in her seat so hard that the pasta she’s stabbed through her fork has fallen back onto the plate. “And a spring wedding? Gosh! It’s going to be beautiful.”

“Enough about me, Kyung. How about you? What’s been going on back at the office? Are the old employees back?”

“Yes. Ugh! Somehow they got it into their heads that they’re so great because they got rehired by the company.” She scowls, rolling her eyes and shoving pasta into her mouth. “But aside from that, it's the same old, same old. Oh! Eunbi from finance is pregnant with her rebound.”

“Rebound? She broke up with her boyfriend?”

Kyungwon shakes her head with a smug look on her face, “No, honey, her boyfriend dumped her last month.”

“Oh my god, is the rebound going to take responsibility?”

“It looks like it. She’s a lot happier — and good for her! Her ex was rude whenever he got invited to any of our hangouts.”

You nod your head, picking up your glass of water, “So how about you? Have you gotten laid yet?”

She uncharacteristically falls silent, eyebrows shooting up to her forehead as she avoids your gaze momentarily until she snaps it back to meet your stare. In one breath, she says: “Okay, don’t be mad but I slept with Yuta.”

You pushed your chair back, trying to hold yourself back from spitting the water you had just drank. After forcefully swallowing, you breathed in deeply and looked back at Kyungwon, who now covered her blushing face with her hands. “Whoa.”

“You said it was okay!”

“I’m not scolding you!”

She threw herself back on the seat and whined, “I’ve kept this secret for so long since I can’t blab about it back in the office. Oh, [Y/N], he’s a fucking god.”

You pursed your lips, “I don’t think I need to know the details about my client’s sex life.”

“Okay, but he’s a fucking god.”

You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “It’s either that’s true or you’ve been out of the game for too long.”

“Please. None of my exes can compare to what that man did to me.” Her dreamy smile slowly falls, “But we made it strictly physical and he seems pretty closed off, too.”

“Wait, it wasn’t just a one night stand?”

She flicks her hair off her shoulder and clicks her tongue, “I guess he’s lonely, too.”

“But good for you, Kyungwon. At least you’re getting laid.”

“Why do you sound like you’re not getting laid? You’re getting married to a Greek god.”

“It’s not that.” You laughed, “Did it sound like that? It’s just because he’s overseas at the moment and I’m feeling lonely.”

Kyungwon snorts, side-eyeing you as she takes a drink from her glass. “Honey, don’t tell me you solely depend on Jaehyun to get off.”

“I—” You feel your face heat up. Come to think of it, you haven’t masturbated in a while. You’ve touched yourself, but those were in front of him and he’d never let you come undone with your fingers alone. “Well, no, I don’t. I can do it on my own, but it’s just not gratifying.”

“Is it bad that I’m curious what he’s like in bed?”

“Only if you try to find out.”

“God, no, of course not.” She recoils, “Just one of the many curiosities I have that I won’t act on. This thing with Yuta is a weekly thing, you know. Unless he calls me.”

You finish your meal, “You’re a booty call.”

“I’d do anything for that dick.”

“Hey, he’s our client, remember. Don’t get hypnotized by the dick.”

“Oh, [Y/N], if you only knew.” She lets out a dreamy sigh and you laugh, throwing your napkin at her.

“I don’t plan to. Get your head out of his pants, we have to work on his apartment.”

After putting away your dishes, you and Kyungwon began to work; making final checks for orders and deliveries, browsing for more design pieces, and the likes. It took longer than you two expected, extending up two hours than what you had originally planned. You finally decided to stop when you spy from the corner of your eye Kyungwon stifling a yawn, uploading all your work onto the shared drive between the three of you before stretching your arms upwards.

“Are you hungry?”

“Please tell me you have some good ol’ ramen in your pantry.”

You scoffed, “Of course, I do. I’ll go make some right now.”

You have the ramen cooked and ready for consumption in no time; each of you had a full bowl with a few side dishes you were able to put together while the water boiled. Instead of work, you and Kyungwon talked about your new house; told her about the materials you wanted, your plans for each room, the layout, and she even offered her own insight that you considered.

“4 bedrooms on the second floor?”

“Well, 3 bedrooms and the nursery. The fourth room will be turned to a walk-in closet for me and Jaehyun to share.”

“Oh my god, that would be a dream to design!”

You purse your lips, “Well, the two extra rooms are for our future kids. I’m sure they’ll want to renovate as they grow older. Would you like to work on their rooms when the time comes?”

She fakes a gasp, covering her mouth, “I would be honored! But gosh, when’s this happening? In 20 years?”

Both of you laugh as you finish your noodles. Kyungwon offered to do the dishes, but you refused, and fortunately, she received a call from a different client that forced her to leave. She thanked you for the day and you walked to the door, where both of you were surprised to see Hyunwoo about to ring the bell.

“Good evening, ma’am. These came in for you.” He smiles, holding out the flowers and teddy bear.

“Oh, thank you.” You glanced at Kyungwon, showing your confusion at the situation.

“I’m totally not jealous that your fiance sent you apology gifts for not coming home today.” She shrugs her shoulders, feeling the teddy bear’s ear between her fingertips. “But I’m oddly really happy for you. See you soon, [Y/N].”

You kiss her cheek and wave her goodbye, “See you, Kyungwon.”

After they leave, you heaved a sigh and inspected the gifts. Red roses, like always, and a pretty hefty teddy bear. You thought it was odd, but Jaehyun has his cheesy moments, excusing the teddy bear as a stand in for himself so you won’t get lonely until he gets home. You walk back to the dining table to put the gifts down and pick up your phone, dialling his number to thank him, but the call wouldn’t connect. He’s either on the plane already or he doesn’t have a signal. Instead, you put the flowers in a vase and placed it on the dining table as a centerpiece.

Before having a late dinner of some scrambled eggs and spam, you worked on both the interior of the mansion and looking for a wedding gown inspo. Sooyeon told you to prepare what you had in mind for a wedding gown and she’ll hook you up with any of the top wedding dress designers in the industry. You’re torn between empire and A-line dresses, liking both fits on your body but couldn’t decide which is better for the theme. You also didn’t know if you wanted lace or tulle, what type of neckline, the accents, etc. All the dresses looked so good and you already know not to bring it up to Jaehyun because he’ll make some bullshit excuse to buy all of them. Although you don’t mind having different dresses; like changing into something more simple for the reception. You were also concerned about what shoes to wear since it’s a garden wedding, you wouldn’t be able to wear heels that you would have preferred. 

You have a shower before heading to bed, taking your time in lathering your body with lavender-scented body wash to help you relax. After breezing through your nighttime routine, you walked out to the bed while tugging your hair loose from the haphazardly tied bun you put in. Seeing the empty bed reminded you of the teddy bear you had received earlier and you quickly went out of the room to grab it on the dining table to retrieve it. You weren’t really going to sleep with it, but you’d like to put it on the accent chair you had on the opposite side of the room.

Your phone rings just as you were about to put on some lotion and you smile to yourself seeing Jaehyun’s name. You put him on loudspeaker, “Hi, baby.”

“Hi, baby.” His voice drawls, “Sorry I couldn’t pick up earlier. I was on the plane and I couldn’t get to you when I landed because Sicheng and his friends took me to a bar.”

“Jaehyun, baby, are you drunk right now?”

“No, baby, just a little tipsy. Did you get my little gift? Toss the old flowers out.”

“You didn’t have to, but thanks.” You hummed, unscrewing the cap of your favorite body butter tin. “Where are you now?”

“Don’t worry, I’m already at my hotel room. I wanted to hear your voice before I go to sleep.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.” He pauses on the other side of the line and you hear what sounded like him getting into bed, “Were you about to go to sleep, too?”

“Yeah, I’m just putting lotion on.”

A long, low moan echoes from your phone and you halt your movements. A tipsy, lonely Jaehyun could only mean one thing.

“Baby, can we video call?”

The next two days were uneventful; you visited the mansion to oversee the renovations being done and was pleased to see it going smoothly as it was exactly as you envisioned it. Other than that, you also spent a lot of time going through IKEA and other home decor stores, picking out possible pieces you’d purchase. It’s still a stressful thought to think you have an entire mansion to design AND you get to live in it. Whenever you had clients for projects like these, you always mused to yourself how you would like it if you were the one living in the said space but now that the time has come, you’re overwhelmed.

Just as you got home, you get a call from Jaehyun.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hey. I just got home.” You closed the door and locked it, while kicking your shoes off.

“Oh, good. Could you do me a favor? There’s an important file on my computer that I forgot to upload to the drive. Do you mind sending it to Sicheng using my email?”

“Sure, which file is it?”

As Jaehyun explains the file to you, you made your way to his office and flipped the light switch on. Plopping yourself down on his chair, you powered up his computer and waited for it to start. Meanwhile, you two updated each other of your days and plans for tomorrow.

“Okay, I found the file. What’s Sicheng’s email?” You typed in the address after Jaehyun dictates and clicked send. “Done! Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?”

Jaehyun chuckles, whispering into the phone, “You can be ready in bed when I come home on Friday.”

“Alright, sir.” You purred, leaning back on his chair. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. See you on Friday.”

After hanging up, you reach for the mouse to turn the computer off until your eyes gloss over the name ‘Jeong Yoonoh’ as one of the names listed in Jaehyun’s mailboxes. You remember seeing it a few weeks ago and it completely left your mind, but now you’re curious about it. Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth; it’s wrong to snoop around Jaehyun’s email like this, but you give into temptation anyway.

A relieved and incredulous sigh leaves you when you spot the prominent subject and sender, even letting out a little chuckle when you see the dates of the emails. This was Jaehyun’s burner email for porn sites back when he was in high school. You wanted to tease him about it so badly, but then you had to tell him that you were snooping around in his computer. Other emails looked like spam that came with signing up for the porn sites so you didn’t pay much attention since most of them involved viagra, online dating, and the likes. You were about to click out to hide evidence of your snooping around until you read the sender’s name: Detective Go Hyunmo of Gangnam P.I. Agency. You thought it was odd, but maybe it was spam like the rest, unless this email got caught accessing porn sites. It didn’t have a subject so you couldn’t really tell, but you still didn't open it and closed the computer after clicking out of the browser. As you switched the lights off and closed Jaehyun’s office door behind you, you can’t help but feel like you’ve heard Gangnam P.I. Agency before.

Jaehyun comes home today and you feel like a child waiting for their parents who’d been away for too long. He said he’ll be dropping some documents at the office and will be home after lunch. As he requested two days ago, you were going to be ready in bed for him when he returns and that means a tedious DIY spa session after you had breakfast. Once you were showered, exfoliated, and moisturized, you put on the new lingerie set you bought yesterday; a black sheer bra that had crocheted flowers and matching crotchless panties that had a string of pearls that ran right over your slit. It felt incredibly embarrassing when you tried it on, especially when the pearls move along your clit every time you moved.

“Honey, I’m home!” You hear outside the room just before the door closes. You booked out of the walk-in closet and ran, as quietly as you can, back into the bedroom, sparing a glance down the hallway to make sure Jaehyun doesn’t catch you. You ungracefully flung yourself to the bed, scrambling to find a position to present yourself to him, but you accidentally elbowed your phone off and it makes a loud thud on the floor.

“[Y/N]?”

Cussing under your breath, you stretch your arm out to grab your phone to put on the nightstand but then you hear a long whistle that makes you drop it again. You whipped your attention to Jaehyun, who now stood at the door frame with the first few buttons of his dress shirt already undone, and you smiled, “Welcome home?”

“Wow.” He drawls, dragging his eyes down your body, “When I said be ready for me, you really took it a step further. Is that new?”

“I got it yesterday.” You leaned back on your arms, folding your legs a little, “It’s a little more special than the others.”

“How so?” He takes slow steps towards you, tossing his blazer off.

Peeling your legs apart, you spread them out for him to see just what you were talking. You feel heat rising to your cheeks as Jaehyun’s eyes stared at your pearls and his tongue just darted out of his lips. An easy smile grows on his face, walking up to the bed and running a hand over your inner thigh.

“Damn, I didn’t know pearls looked good on you.” He runs a finger over the shiny beads, “But nothing can compare to my favorite pearl.”

Pushing the pearls aside, he presses your clit with his thumb and your hips instinctively buck upwards to meet his touch. He keeps his thumb on your clit while he runs two fingers between your pussy in a languid manner.

“You look so good, baby.” Jaehyun leans down to kiss the spot above your navel. “I hope you’re ready for me.”

“Always.” 

He pulls away to remove his belt and as he does so, his eyes flutter to the other side of the room and he cocks his head, “You bought a teddy bear? Were you that lonely when I was gone?”

“What?” You sit up, glancing at the stuffed toy, “You got me that. It came with the roses.”

Jaehyun looks back at you, face completely stoic, before stepping away to walk over to the item in question.

“Jaehyun?”

He picks the toy up and inspects it, turning it over a few times until he squints at the bear’s beady eyes. A low growl escapes him as he closes his fist around the toy’s head and rips it away from the body, the distinct sound of thread snapping and cloth ripping filling the silence of the room.

“Jaehyun, what the fuck?” You scoot over the edge of the bed, ready to stop him until he swiftly turns back to you. His expression sends shivers down your spine; you’ve seen that look before and you can’t believe you’re seeing it again.

“I never gave you this fucking bear, [Y/N].” He hurls the decapitated head to the side with so much force that the cotton filled toy makes a resounding thud against the wall. He forces his hand inside the bear’s head and takes out a small black cube. “There’s a fucking camera in it’s head. Who handed these to you?”

“H-Hyunwoo did… Wait, Jaehyun, can we—”

He slams the camera onto the floor, breaking it into pieces, before storming out the bedroom. You were frozen from flinching at his outburst that it took you awhile to collect yourself, scrambling off the bed to grab his discarded blazer and running out after him.

“Jae, wait!” You yelled, slipping his jacket on and clutching it close over your chest.

“Hyunwoo, did the flowers I had delivered here last Monday come with a teddy bear?” Jaehyun was on his phone, pacing by the couch. “It came separately? Which came first? The flowers? Fucking— go find out who delivered them and report back to me ASAP.”

He ends the call and angrily throws his cellphone to the floor, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

“Baby…” You silently gulped, approaching him cautiously; you don’t know what to say, however, completely at a loss for words at the revelation. “What’s happening?”

Jaehyun still doesn’t look at you when he tears his hand away and puts them to his hips, glaring down at wilting begonias. In a split second, he grabs the pot and hurls it across the room; shards of clay, dirt, leaves, and petals exploding against the wall. You gasped, instinctively hugging yourself to block off any debris in case it reached you.

“Jaehyun, what the fuck?!”

“I didn’t give you that damn plant and I didn’t give you that fucking bear either!” He yelled, nose flaring and veins popping out of his neck. “I don’t know who the fuck this shithead is, but I’m going find and kill him.”

He starts walking to the front door with wide steps, fixing the belt he had previously undone.

“Jaehyun, wait!” Your chest clenches in panic, “Jaehyun!”

When he was a few more paces away from the door, you gave one last scream of his name; you’re sure your neighbors heard you and are a phone call away from the police if they also heard the things Jaehyun had thrown around. He looks back at you, still visibly infuriated at the situation, but his expression softens into concern when he sees your face.

You don’t know when you started crying, but you were suddenly aware of it when a few tears dropped onto your hand that still clutched onto his blazer. “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t the one who gave the begonias?”

“I—I didn’t want you to panic…” He licks his lips, fully turning his body to face you.

“A-and now… and now w-we just found out that I was being… being secretly recorded for—for d-days,” Your vision starts to blur as fresh tears spring from your eyes, “And you’re just going to leave — again?”

He looks absolutely crushed to see you like this, “Y-you’re right. I’m sorry — no, okay, I won’t leave, come here.”

He wraps his arms around you, squeezing you tight and repeatedly kissing the top of your head while you hide your face in his chest to sob.

“What do they want with me?”

“No, I don’t think they’re after you, baby.” Jaehyun whispers, still kissing your hair while running his hand down your back to console you. “I think they’re after me.”

This doesn’t make you feel any better. You cry a little harder, body shaking in his hold as you looped your arms around his waist. Jaehyun’s enemies are your enemies, if he truly had any. This should have been common knowledge to you already. It’s no secret how important you are to him and it only makes sense that they’ll pick on you to get to him. You’ve already handled the demon in his mind; you’ve learned to accept it. Dealing with someone — an actual human being — from Jaehyun’s world is wading through murky waters. You’re either the target or the bait, and it’s upsetting to think that whichever you’re treated as, someone’s going to get hurt. No, there’s this horrible gut feeling, a nagging voice in the back of your head, that just tells you that chances are…

Someone’s going to die.

a/n: it’s a little shorter again, but we’re getting closer and closer to the climax and aaaaaah the trailer drop!!!!! like always, please please please let me know what you guys think here 

next: part 11

~ buy me a peach? why?

[silverducks]

Jaime Lannister - Honour vs Loyalty

And why I didn’t like his ending.

Ok, so I was going to write a post about my thoughts on how they ended the show for Jaime Lannister, but it was getting very, very long, so it will have to wait for another day. Because yes, nearly a month after I finished watching the series, I’m still not over that.

Anyway, as that post was getting very long, I thought I’d just focus on this one thing here, and that’s the idea of honour vs loyalty and how it effects Jaime as a character.

Spoilers below (cause I’m sure there’s still a few people in the world who don’t know yet how it ends.)

Ok, so to say it bugs me that Jaime went back to Cersei at the end of the series and died in her arms is putting it mildly. No matter how much I try to reconcile it, or watch/read people’s opinions on it, I just can’t get it to make sense. It’s more than a bit frustrating.

For me, it makes no sense that, after all that character development, after everything he went through and everything he watched his sister do, after finding another woman who not only believed in the good in him, but helped bring it out, he decides to run back to Cersei.

Now, I’ll leave most of my thoughts on that in the other post (I have a lot, lol!) and just wanted to focus on here the idea that Jaime’s ending is somehow tied up with his concept of honour vs loyalty. Or at least in how I’ve read people try to justify it.

Ok, so I’ve not read the books yet, but I’ve read enough quotes/analysis and opinions online to know that after about series 4, Jaime’s character takes a very different path to what we have in the show. So I’m only really talking about the show here. Also, I have only watched it all once, recently in a marathon watch, so there’ll be loads of stuff I’ve missed or forgotten.

And I’ve read/watched enough online to know a lot of people are also very annoyed that Jaime went back to Cersei. In fact, most of what’s been bugging me is based on comments I’ve read on YouTube or series 8 reviews. The main video, or review, mentions that they don’t like how they assassinated Jaime’s character arc, but then there are discussions in the comments saying that for some they do think it makes sense.

Now, I’m not saying they’re wrong, but I do disagree with some of the main justifications they have said. One of these is that people say it was honourable for Jaime to return to Cersei at the end. That it made sense for his character to return to his sister and it did complete his character arc.

My thoughts on that are basically NOPE! You’ve misunderstood the point of his character arc. I’ll save most of my thoughts for the other post, but to summarise, for me, Jaime’s character arc has been both about redemption and identity. It’s been about becoming a better person and trying to make amends for your past mistakes, but also about finding your own voice, your own thoughts and your own inner self. And, as both these arcs are tied together for Jaime, overall his whole character arc was about him breaking away from Cersei and, through doing that, becoming a better person.

Yeah, I know that sounds kinda corny and simplified, but, for me, that’s overall been Jaime’s character arc. He’s had plenty of slip ups (cough mainly the writers refusing to let Twincest go cough), but overall he’s grown as a person, so what we see in series 8 up to that scene in episode 4, is a better, changed person. As he says to Bran, “I’m not that man anymore.”

This means the fact that he just goes back to her at the end, does indeed ruin his whole character arc. And I honestly can’t get it to make any sense in way that isn’t JUST because the writers decided he should.

So, if we then consider the idea that it’s somehow honourable for him to go back to Cersei… Ok, I can see why people may think that, but for me, it’s not honour, it’s loyalty. Honourable would be to continue on the better path, acknowledging that your sister has done wrong, continues to do wrong and has gone down the opposite path. Jaime’s path has been about redemption, Cersei’s has been one of villainy.

Cersei needs to pay for her crimes as it were and that is, imho, the honourable thing to do. Now pay for your crimes doesn’t mean anything as awful as torture or that walk of shame (no, even though Cersei tortured others, I’d never say the same should be done to her). But as she’s never shown any remorse for what she’s done (unlike Jaime, who then had 7 series of redemptive arc making up for it), it’s not honourable for Jaime to go back to try and save her, to think they can just run off together. Of course, I know and understand both Jaime’s and also Tyrion’s inability to just let her die – they instinctively want to try to help her because she’s their sister. That’s why Tyrion still keeps on trying to plead with her. If Jaime was already in Kings Landing he could do the same.

No, the issue is he leaves Brienne in the dead of night, breaking her heart and saying how hateful he is, rides all the way to Kings Landing just to be with Cersei. Especially when he knows it’s pretty much a suicide mission and won’t make any difference. That is not honourable - to want to die with your evil twin sister so she’s not alone. That is loyalty.

And, this brings me back to the whole honour vs loyalty issue with Jaime, and why series 8 messed it up imho. In the earlier series, we see that Jaime is very loyal to his House, as is everyone in Westeros really. And usually loyalty is seen as a good trait – in our world as well as the world of GoT. And the Lannisters are even more focused on their loyalty as we see from Tywin. Your house/family is it and you pledge loyalty and are willing to die for them. So him being willing to do all he can to save his sister, that is loyalty.

And Jaime is very loyal to his house. But he’s also a Knight and Brienne is right, there is also honour in him. Something she first found out when he told her about why he killed the Mad King, and something that she has been slowly encouraging and bringing out in Jaime ever since.

Yet what do you do if your House/family are not honourable? The Lannisters as a House have done all sorts of bad things, including things like organising the Red Wedding and Cersei’s attack on the Sept. What do you do then, when your honour conflicts with your loyalty? This, for me, is one of the biggest struggles for Jaime’s character and so imperative in his overall character arc.

This is something that is brought up in the tent scene between Brienne and Jaime – they both know there is no honour (ie, it’s not the right, moral thing to do) to attack and kill the Tully rebels when they are defending the home the Lannister’s took from them. But he is a Lannister. And this is a big struggle for Jaime – as he’s trying to be more honourable and become a better person, his loyalty to his House and family are more and more at odds with that. Even more so when you consider his complicated relationship with his sister.

In that situation, he found an alternative; a way to still be loyal to his house, by taking back RiverRun, but also be honourable, by making sure no blood was spilt.

And for me, as Jaime grows in his character arc, he starts to choose honour over loyalty more and more (eg giving Brienne the Quest to find Sansa rather than killing Sansa at Cersei’s request and then freeing Tyrion against his sister and father’s wishes.) This culminates in the scene where Brienne challenges him outright in the Dragon Pit. There is no alternative here; he can do the right, honourable thing and join the fight for mankind, or he can choose to remain loyal to his sister and Queen and not help.

Now, we know this isn’t an easy decision for Jaime, but eventually, he does just that. He chooses the honourable thing by going to the North to help them. And that is, imho, where he finally and fully breaks away from Cersei and becomes his own person.

So, for me, the idea that it is honourable for him to return to Cersei goes against his whole character arc. It ruins his identity arc, because he once more stops being his own person, stops making his own decisions and is all focused on Cersei again. And it goes against his redemption arc, by choosing loyalty above honour, by returning to her and trying to save her after everything she has done.

That is not honour, it is loyalty, which is basically taking Jaime back to the start – where he always did choose loyalty over honour and it made him do some pretty darn bad things.

So, for me, for a Jaime that had been through so much, come so far in his character arc, his identity and redemption, to return to Cersei like that is a complete 180 and a waste of those 7 years of character development we saw.

And it makes no sense.

[hehron]

Golden Trio Midlife Adventure!

Hi, just trying my hand at post-canon HP to participate in the happy birthday harry writing fest by @fightfortherightsofhouseelves !

“What’s the birthday boy doing sitting all alone?” Ron asked loudly as he plopped down in the armchair in Harry’s study.

“Not brooding, I hope.” Hermione added, shooting a disapproving glance at the glass in his hand.

“It’s just pumpkin juice.” Harry told her, then a little defensively asked. “And why would I be brooding?”

Ron and Hermione gave him knowing looks.

“Harry, Harry, Harry,” Ron tutted in a dramatic fashion. “The fortieth is an earth-shattering explosion, like our new Fakequake Wheeze, especially for the faint of heart such as yourself, who don’t have all my hard-earned wisdom.” Ever since his great leap into the forties, Ron, heavily influenced by George, had leaned into the whole ‘Wise Old Dumbledore’ talk, despite Hermione’s reminders that he was nowhere near half of Dumbledore’s age or have half his wisdom for that matter, she added to Harry privately one day.

“Like I say every year, I feel lucky to have lived this far.” Harry insisted, though the churning in his stomach told him otherwise.

“Then why did you make Ginny exchange that comfy armchair she bought you for that new Dragon Taming Kit?” Hermione asked slyly.

“I need it! It could be useful on a case.” He defended.

“Yeah, right.” Ron snorted. “Unless you have the sudden desire to go on one of Luna and Rolf’s expeditions or developed a sudden, secret crush on Charlie-”

“Fine,” Harry cut him off. “Maybe I am a little upset but it’s still nothing compared to your I’m-Still-Not-Minister-Yet or Where-Did-My-Thirties-Go crisis.”

“It was a very understandable crisis!” Hermione said indignantly. “I was behind on my life plans by two months!”

Harry and Ron shared a look. Hermione’s life plan had been the catalyst to many fights and the butt of many jokes over the years.

“Love, you know our plans never really work-” Ron began.

“You mean your plans. My plans work out perfectly as long as you two don’t interfere.” She said with a pointed glare at Harry.

“No work talk on my birthday.” He grinned.

“Fine, but I want those papers back first thing tomorrow morning.” She said with a half smile.

“We should start our plans for today though. Don’t want to be late for Ginny’s big party.” Hermione said briskly while Ron’s face broke out into a huge grin at Harry’s confused look.

“What plans?”

“This is ridiculous!” Harry spluttered as they stood at the entrance to Honeydukes. A few people were milling about the streets but it was nothing compared to Hogsmeads’ usual bustle during the school season.

“Come on, it’ll be fun. Just like old times.” Ron chuckled, pushing him forwards.

“I can’t believe you’re going with this.” Harry said to Hermione.

“It was her idea.”

“What?!” Harry exclaimed as Ron burst into laughter.

“Don’t look so shocked, Harry. I’ve come up with just as many silly ideas as you two. Or have you forgotten about Christmas 2002?” Hermione asked with a self-satisfied smile.

Harry shook his head, grinning.

“Still seems a bit childish.”

“It’s supposed to be childish, mate.” Ron said, slapping his back.

“So you don’t forget what it’s like to be young.” Hermione said, before rummaging through her bag and pulling out a silvery cloak.

“Where-” Harry began.

“I borrowed it from James. What’s an adventure without the invisibility cloak?”

She threw it over them, and they trued to squeeze themselves together. Harry suddenly had a flashback to the last time the three of them had been in a similar position in the town and felt a rush of gratitude that the two situations couldn’t be more different.

“Our feet are still outside.” Ron grunted, trying to stretch the cloth.

“Don’t rip it Ron!” Hermione exclaimed. “We can just cast invisibility charms on our feet.”

“Yeah, now it seems like a good thing that you quit the Aurors. You’ll get your feet blown off with those kinds of ideas.” Harry teased.

Ron made a rude gesture before Hermione dragged them both down the hidden one-eyed witch passageway. It was a lot longer but considerably less dirty than they remembered it.

“Must be the kids. They sneak out to Hogsmeade at least twice a week.” Ron whispered.

“If they ever found out about this after all the grief we gave them about sneaking out-” Harry started.

“Bit rich coming from you, isn’t it?” Ron snickered.

“As if you’re one to talk.”

“Yes, yes, we were rule breaking hooligans and have descended to stuck up hypocrites. But what they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Hermione said.

“You’ve been spending way too much time with politicians.” Harry said to which she rolled her eyes.

Ron suddenly yelped as he knocked right into the exit. Harry cracked the door open and peered outside. Now that they were actually there, his heart was thudding frantically, a sort of exhilaration and nostalgia hitting him. A part of him had always missed it, the adventures with Ron and Hermione.

Hermione laughed quietly as Ron made an exaggerated show of tiptoeing outside. It was strange. They were adults, getting older by the second but at that moment, it seemed as if time had been reversed back thirty years, and they were the same giggling children they had been when they had first set foot in Hogwarts. That inexplicable feeling of remembering all the moments of happiness, bitter sweetness and everything in between, and knowing that they had not only made it out together but were still as close as they were back then, closer even, and that despite everything Hogwarts would always be there to welcome them home was all he needed.

The halls were just as Harry remembered it. This time tough, they brought back more than just their memories. They were mixed with several new anecdotes of the children and their escapades, with the three of them convincing themselves that they were definitely not hard teenagers while struggling to maintain straight faces. They had just entered the courtyard when they bumped into Neville.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked, surprised.

“Oh, just, reminiscing.” Hermione said nonchalantly.

“By breaking into Hogwarts?”

“That’s the way we did it back then too, wasn’t it?” Harry grinned.

“How’d you know we broke in, by the way?”

“The Headmistress said the portraits said something about a secret passageway. I was just dropping off some forms for Hannah’s potions and said I’d check it out. Didn’t expect to see you guys.” Neville laughed.

“Oh, Happy Birthday, Harry!”

“You already wished me at midnight.” Harry said amused.

“Yeah, but I was knackered after the party. Can’t say I remember it.” The other man grinned.

“Particularly strong firewhiskey, mate. I had to take two doses of sobering potion in the morning.” Ron said sheepishly.

“You really shouldn’t have done that, Ron.” Hermione admonished.

“I know but...” Ron argued.

“Merlin! It’s like we’re really back at school again!” Neville exclaimed.

“Tell me about it.” Harry muttered, with an exasperated look at his best friends. 

“Oi! We’re here to celebrate my birthday. You can have your weird foreplay after the party.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” Hermione rolled her eyes.

“He’s not wrong about the foreplay though.” Ron said, kissing her cheek.

“See what I have to suffer through?” Harry sighed to Neville.

“Like you haven’t done worse with my sister in front of me.” Ron said with a mock-glare.

“Why isn’t Ginny here, anyway?” Neville asked.

“She’s making the last minute party arrangements.” Hermione said.

“She’s going berserk trying to make it perfect.” Ron added. 

“Funny she says it’s for me but threatens to hex me if I get five feet near the decorations. I’d have hidden in the attic with a butterbeer if she hadn’t invited the whole PU team.”

“Harry has a crush on their seeker.” Ron teased.

“Who doesn’t?” He shot back, knowing Ron had Quidditch Weekly articles stacked away in his trunk.

“Well, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you at the party.” Neville waved.

“Don’t rat us out, Neville. Or Hermione’ll have to stun you again.” Harry called, earning him a light shove from the brunette.

They made their way down to Hagrid’s hut and Harry was reminded of the many afternoons spent in a similar fashion.

“Looks like he’s not home.” Hermione said, noting the relative silence, that was only broken by a flutter of wings.

Harry whipped around to find Buckbeak standing there, looking at them curiously. He bowed and slowly egged his way closer to the majestic creature.

“Hey Buckbeak.” He said softly, petting the hippogriff. “Want to go for a fly? For old time’s sake?”

Harry turned around to find Ron sitting on Featherwhite, another hyppogriff, Luna had gifted to Hagrid, trying to get Hermione to get on as well.

“Come on, Hermione.” Harry called, mounting Buckbeak. “It’s my birthday.”

“There really should be a limited number of times you can use that to convince me.” She said, waving a finger at him but wearily got on behind Ron.

They took off and their laughter, and in Hermione’s case, shrieks, filled the air. Flying over the Quidditch Pitch, Harry promised himself to have a hippogriff race with Ginny as soon as they both had time.

They landed by the lake with Hermione swearing that she was never getting on one of those again.

“That’s what you said last time.” Harry reminded.

“And the time before that.” Ron added.

“And the time-”

“All right. All right.” Hermione laughed, shaking her head fondly.

They plopped down by the lake and watched the squid make a strange clapping motion with three of its tentacles.

“Even the squid’s wishing you a happy birthday.” Ron snorted.

“Even the squid wouldn’t believe a forty-year old could fly like that.” Harry boasted.

“Even the squid can’t handle two generations of Potters and Weasleys so close together.” Hermione said solemnly.

They chuckled and then descended into a comfortable silence, just enjoying the sunlight glinting over the still water. Harry thought back to the sunny days with Ginny in sixth year when the future he now had seemed like something out of a dream, and he realised that he was lucky, not just to alive but to be surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him.

A little while later, they strolled by the edge of the forest, talking about nothing and everything until they reached the whooping willow. Hermione was searching his face nervously while Ron casually suggested taking another exit. He knew they didn’t want to bring the mood down, especially on that day, and there might have been a time when he would have been too caught up in bad memories to even consider it. But now, all it reminded him was the thrill of flying a car to school in second year and the time he first met Sirius and the many, many, stories told by his kids. After all this time, he finally knew when and how to look for the silver lining until it outshone the black. They made their way out of the Shrieking Shack and walked towards the apparition point.

“That was...” Harry began.

“Oh, Harry! We’re so sorry if you didn’t like it. I just thought you would because you missed the field work so much and-”

“Hermione,” He cut her off. “It was amazing. The best birthday present I could ask for.”

“Don’t let Ginny hear you say that.” Ron interjected.

“Seriously, I loved it. I didn’t even know I needed it. Thank you.” He said, hugging her.

“A bit too sentimental, don’t you think?”

“Oh, get in here, Ron!” Hermione laughed as they pulled him into their embrace. It really was one of Harry’s best birthdays and it was only going to get better.

[enchantedisabella]

Why Annabeth is not Hermione 2.0

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time, because so many people compare Annabeth Chase to Hermione Granger when they’re really nothing alike. Yes, they’re both the smart, female best friends of the main protagonists, but that doesn’t make their personalities identical. Here are my reasons why.

Annabeth has ADHD and dyslexia and is unfocused at times. Hermione has no disorders we know about and is attentive in class. I understand that Percabeth in high school is a very popular headcanon among the pjo fandom, and Annabeth is indubitably ridiculously clever, but she is NOT going to be raising her hands every second of every day in class and she definitely won’t pass every single subject without even trying. I’d be very surprised if she could stay focused for a full lesson. Honestly, I’d expect her to be labelled as even more of a ‘troubled kid’ than Percy, because Percy has spent years in mortal school while Annabeth hasn’t. It would be Annabeth, not Percy, being the one desperately trying to pay attention but the first to lose focus halfway through. Hermione, as we all know, is the exact opposite, and hates when people disrupt classes.

Hermione is a rule-follower at heart. Annabeth is not. We all remember that time when Hermione Badass Granger kept a woman in a jar for a year, right? However, we also remember the numerous times she’s threatened to report Harry and Ron for breaking the rules- mainly in the earlier books, when their friendship isn’t as developed, but she still acts scandalised whenever rule-breaking is brought up. Hermione will break the rules, because she’s a Gryffindor at heart and she will do anything to protect her friends (trap Rita Skeeter in a jar, report the Firebolt to McGonagall because it might have been cursed), but that doesn’t mean she necessarily enjoys it. Annabeth is a different story altogether. In fanon, it’s usually her who is expected to restrain Percy from doing something stupid (like Hermione and Harry’s canon friendship), but in actual pjo canon, it’s the other way around. Annabeth Chase is smart and clever but she’s also prideful, impulsive, and downright reckless, while Hermione is most definitely not. Annabeth will use any excuse to break the rules and sees no point in regulations if they don’t make any sense, and thinks that authority figures should earn her respect. Hermione basically hero-worships all authority figures unless they’re really bad (eg. Snape and Umbridge). It takes a lot for her to rebel against someone in a higher position than her, and she will willingly give teachers her respect even if they haven’t earned it yet.

Hermione is book smart. Annabeth is street smart. I’m not saying that Annabeth doesn’t like to read, because it’s clearly stated in The Lightning Thief or Sea of Monsters (I can’t remember which) that Annabeth reads so much that Percy forgot that she also had dyslexia. However, in school aus, Annabeth would probably not perform that well on tests and she would absolutely not join spelling bees and win, or have we as a fandom collectively forgotten that in SoM, Percy said that Annabeth could have spent the whole night trying to spell ‘cyclopes’ due to the fact that she kept messing up the letters? And if I hear any reasons like ‘they removed her dyslexia because it didn’t fit their fanfiction, and there’s no need to be so pressed about it’, that’s very fucking ableist, for one, and defeats the whole purpose of Rick Riordan (bless him) making the book’s protagonists have ADHD and dyslexia for his son. Also, it says a lot about fans trying to make Annabeth into Hermione 2.0 when she’s very much not, and then fooling themselves into thinking that the girls’ personalities are carbon copies of each other. Hermione is repeatedly described as the brightest witch of her age- she’s deductive, rational and calculated. She has no problem paying close attention to detail. She spurts out so much information in the books that she has been repeatedly compared to ‘swallowing the textbook’, courtesy of Ron. I can’t even imagine how much she would have to memorise to be compared to that. Annabeth would not be capable of that, nor would she even want to be. She would not see the point in memorising facts, because Annabeth Chase learns things by doing, and Hermione Granger learns things from books. In the Philosopher’s Stone, Hermione is distraught at their first flying lesson because she can’t learn it from a book first. You know who wouldn’t be? Hands-on, street smart, capable Annabeth.

Annabeth values knowledge more than Hermione does. Some of you may not understand why this is, but Annabeth is a daughter of Athena and Hermione is a Gryffindor. They have very different learning strategies and if they ever met, they’d be nothing alike and probably wouldn’t even see eye to eye. Hermione canonically scoffs at ‘books and cleverness!’ both in the movies and the books of the Philosopher’s Stone. Hermione is Sorted into Gryffindor because she values bravery over everything else- even knowledge. Annabeth has always put knowledge first. That’s not to say that Annabeth Who-Took-A-Knife-For-Percy Chase isn’t brave, but she values knowledge above else and she’s willing to fight dirty to get it (as is Hermione, but that’s beside the point). It’s understandable that Annabeth would put knowledge above bravery, because of her parentage. Hermione’s choice is also understandable, given the circumstances, and it’s noteworthy that she repeatedly chooses friendship over cleverness in the series just because she knows its importance. Just to reiterate: the girls are different people. Don’t put them as madly competing in your Hogwarts x Camp Half-Blood fanfictions. Do you honestly think Annabeth would compete with Hermione for the best grades in History of Magic, or that Hermione would ever try her hand at sword-fighting and archery? I don’t think so. This might seem like it’s contrasting my point, but Annabeth probably isn’t going to be interested in most of the lessons while they’re taking notes in a classroom without any hands-on work. She doesn’t function like that. She would do well in Charms or Transfiguration and positively shine in Quidditch, not History of Magic or Muggle Studies or Divination. She values knowledge she deems useful, and the only way for knowledge to be deemed useful by her standards is if she used what she’s learnt in practical spells and not note-taking.

Hermione has flexible moral principles. Annabeth’s are set in stone. Hermione is a very complex character. She repeatedly chastises Harry and Ron for breaking school rules on a daily basis, but it was her idea to go through with the Polyjuice Potion in CoS, her decision to keep Rita Skeeter in a jar, her decision to use a Time-Turner to get to all her classes on time. (Well, she also had to appeal to Cornelius Fudge through McGonagall, but it was her idea.) Hermione’s moral code is flexible, to say the least. She won’t break it for mundane days, but will for special occasions, and that’s because she knows that desperate times call for desperate measures. None of her moral code is written in stone. There is always a point where she justifies her behaviour by decreeing that the situation needs it. There is no line that she isn’t willing to cross depending on how bad the situation is. Hermione has a justifiable reason for breaking rules, and though she doesn’t enjoy it, like I said earlier, she will do it of her own accord if the situation calls for it. She has no point where she says to herself, ‘Okay, this is one rule that I’m not going to break no matter what.’ This girl, this brilliant, ruthless girl, is willing to cross every single line if she absolutely must, and that is why she is not at all like Annabeth Chase. Annabeth Chase, whose principles are set in stone. Annabeth Chase, who is prideful and stubborn and who does not compromise her values no matter what. Annabeth is not ruthless; Annabeth is not cruel. She is the embodiment of- not exactly goodness, but fairness and equality. She gives everyone what they deserve. She literally told a Sphinx off for not giving riddles that make you think, but instead asking questions that you just need a certain amount of knowledge of facts to answer. Let that sink in, because it’s the most perfect example I have. Hermione Granger would have answered them quick as a flash and moved on, because it’s an easy way out, she knows all the answers anyway, and she’d probably treat the Sphinx like an authority figure whose test she has to pass, not change. Annabeth Chase, instead, gets offended and demands riddles that make you think because she will not compromise her principles for anyone or anything, and places so much faith in her intelligence (which is why she values it so much) that even if the questions will be harder, she thinks that it’s downright insulting that they aren’t already. She takes it as an insult to her intelligence. Hermione is flexible; Annabeth is hard as stone.

Annabeth has the makings of a hero; Hermione has the makings of a villain. Sure, Hermione started SPEW and cares for the welfare of creatures and is portrayed as sensitive time and time again, but if she believes that what she is doing is right, she will use wrong methods to get to her goal. After all, when the greater good is at stake, who wouldn’t use less morally superior methods to get to it faster? What’s the murder of a few people who deserved it- maybe Bellatrix or Umbridge- when a greater number of lives can be saved? Hermione is unnervingly logical and although she is sensitive, she is not weak. She might feel pity for Sirius’s experience in Azkaban, because he’s ‘good’, in her mind, but would she feel for Bellatrix, who ‘deserved’ it? And of course Bellatrix did deserve it, but Hermione conveniently ignores that they went through the same experience because only Sirius deserves her pity, because he’s good. Hermione wouldn’t sacrifice Sirius for the greater good, but she would sacrifice Bellatrix, and Annabeth wouldn’t, because as I’ve said, Annabeth does not have a flexible moral code. Annabeth would not stand by and sacrifice Bellatrix, because she is still a person in Annabeth’s eyes, but Hermione would, because there is no line she wouldn’t cross. As long as Hermione thinks that what she’s doing is right, she would condone any action to achieve her goal. I think we all know enough about history to know that that is terrifying as fuck. Hermione, under different circumstances, could be a villain; Annabeth would be the hero and do the right thing no matter what.

These two girls are so inherently, intrinsically different that I have trouble wondering why anyone would think that they were anything alike just because they’re smart and friends with the protagonist. There are probably more points, but I’m tired and it’s a school day and I can’t think of anything more to add on. Anyway, thanks for reading this and I hope nobody makes the stupid, stupid mistake of saying that they are in any way similar after reading this, because I could honestly relate Annabeth more to Ron than I could to Hermione.

[laceymorganwrites]

Rock bottom

Word Count: 2,058

Pairing: Sasuke x Reader, Brief Sasuke x Sakura

Song: Rock Bottom - Neck Deep

Warnings: swearing I guess

A/N: Sasuke songfic nobody fucking asked for

Dancing on the grave you made to hide me,

Sasuke didn´t leave just twice. No, no, and leaving wasn´t the worst part of it. He forsake everything he stood for, everybody that cared for him, as if it was nothing. Well, to him it probably was. You didn´t even tried to understand him anymore, it just confused you more. To you Sasuke was a mystery. When you were children all girls were all over him because of that, he was strong, the best of them all, he was handsome and… mysterious and dark. It was still strange to you how girls always fell for assholes. And it was even stranger for you to be one of those unlucky ones, even though you knew he was one, you knew just how terrible he was. Yet that didn´t stop you. Everything about him was a red flag, hell you had a huge concurrence but you didn´t care. It was just a crush. Well, you were just one of many he would ignore, you thought. Remove the pictures from the walls

He didn´t ignore you though. Sasuke did anything but. Somehow he told you all about his darkest thoughts, the parts about him he wanted to remain in the shadows, his past, his ambitions, his secrets, he shared everything with you. And that made you feel special. He had to feel something else than hatred towards you, otherwise he wouldn´t tell you all those things. It got your hopes up. And he screwed them all over like the sadistic asshole he was. He was simply indifferent on you and indifference was so much worse than unrequited love. 'Cos they're reminding you of all the things you try so hard to hide.

Yes you were hurt when he left the first time, but you never had the chance to express any of your emotions. Because if you did Sakura would beat them out of you. And righteously so. Everyone knew she loved Sasuke ever since she laid eyes on him, like every other girl. But unlike the other girls, she kept loving him throughout his absence, she was loyal, always, worried about him, cared. She was perfect and you wished Sasuke would let her in on his self like he did you. You never told anyone about the intimate things he told you, the vulnerability he showed you. Perhaps that´s why he told you in the first place, because he knew that you would keep his secrets, cherish them and break on them. And she digs the grave, so she knows just where she can find it.

It wasn´t a surprise that he left, he told you that long before he actually did. Yet you failed to understand why, to grasp Sasuke´s intent, his very core. Sakura did. She always knew what was going on in his mind, it was admirable, really. She was supportive, but no sidekick. She could kick every ass that came between her and her love, she´d decimate anyone who even held any ill intent towards Sasuke in an instance. It wasn´t that you envied her, you rather admired her. You didn´t want to be like her, that was simply impossible, but she gave you strength in some weird way. The hope she had that Sasuke would return, that everything would be fine, it was contagious. Sakura was so bright, like the light Sasuke needed, even though he´d never admit that to himself. And I don't have much to offer,

Sasuke knew how much he fucked up, how he had betrayed and screwed over everyone, he already felt shitty enough because of that and didn´t need people scolding him. He knew that he didn´t deserve you so he did what he thought was right, what he thought could be his redemption: be with Sakura. He didn´t love her, but that was okay because she did. She loved him more than anything else in the world and wasn´t afraid to make it known. But had you loved me I'd have loved you back forever.

Every day he spent with Sakura was a reminder that he would never experience the happiness he wanted to, it was a bittersweet feeling, this punishment he laid upon himself. Sakura wasn´t stupid, she knew Sasuke didn´t love her, but still she tried her best to be the most loyal lover and give him love, warmth and affection. She would always care for him on a deeper level than anyone else. Here I am again, rock bottom. Dug this hole to hell to rot in. Shouldn't have ignored my friends, It frayed the rope that they had dropped in. Here I lay again, rock bottom. What was life like? I've forgotten how the sun felt on my skin, Resurrect and start again. She said, "You're distant from the world and self-destructive,"

You did what every teenager in love who didn´t know any better would do: go after him. Once again you stood up to him, saying Sakura couldn´t take it if he left her once more, how he would give despair to everyone again and him leaving wouldn´t be a good solution, in fact it would be stupid and lead nowhere. You told him how he shouldn´t punish himself in solitude and isolation, that this wasn´t the way to redeem himself. If he shot everyone out and was on his own, he would never find the peace he was after. He´d only hurt himself and that would hurt the ones who cared about him. But she still smiles and laughs along for self-indulgence.

While Sakura ignored or rather suppressed Sasuke´s inner chaos, his disturbance, you egged onto it. Sasuke´s conflict and agony got to you, you sympathized with him. He told you that you were the only one who truly understood him and that he was grateful to you. You didn´t know why you still were so close to Sasuke, after all you knew that he didn´t mean any of the things he said to you, he just used you as an unpaid therapist so to speak. Or that´s what you thought. In reality he meant every single word of affection he uttered to you, but he didn´t know how to express his feelings. Hell he didn´t even know what he was feeling, if he was feeling at all. She's got her finger on the pulse and she feels nothing,

Whenever you and Sasuke met it left you with an empty feeling. Lately he didn´t come to you for counsel anymore, he didn´t tell you of his deepest fears and overall Sasuke talked less. It was unusual. You didn´t know whether you should do the talking part or simply wait for him to say something, so your recent meetings were held in awkward silence that got unbearable for you. “Sasuke?” you quietly called him, interrupting his train of thought. He had just been staring into nothingness, thinking about how to approach you, now that he figured out what he was feeling. “Yes?” he responded, still sounding absent, as he turned to you. He looked different today. “Something´s on your mind, isn´t it? You seem so distracted today” you pointed out to which he looked away and at the horizon again. She digs the grave so she can dance like no one's watching.

“Sakura and I broke up” he simply stated leaving you confused. Weren´t they happy together? Sakura was the perfect girlfriend, how could they split? “But why? It doesn´t make any sense...” you thought out loud. Sasuke chuckled slightly. “You know I never loved her. I love someone else and she helped me figure it out. Because this someone really confused me for a while but after I talked to her everything made sense...” he spoke so relieved, as if a burden was lifted from him. It must´ve been nice for him to get some clearance of his inner thoughts and feelings for once. And I know you're chasing something,

“Oh, that sounds nice...actually it sounds quite bittersweet when I think of Sakura, but oh well, if you two came to an agreement I guess it can´t be helped.” you sighed, it must be relieving for Sasuke to be free now, maybe he has found his redemption. And yet you felt terribly sorry for Sakura who really did her best to be a good girlfriend. And goddamn she was the best indeed, you admired her patience, her endurance, her strength, her beauty, her kindness and her caring for Sasuke. Or has what you wanted got you scared and running?

“I´m glad you told me that, Sasuke. That explains why you´re so silent recently” you chuckled, thinking that everything would go back to normal now. “That´s not it… I just don´t know what to say around you anymore.” he scoffed. Why was he so weak? Why couldn´t he just tell you how he felt? Maybe it was because some part of him knew that you didn´t like him in the same way. But that childish reason couldn´t be the one for his behavior. No. It wasn´t that he didn´t have anything to say to you anymore, it was just that he didn´t know how to say it anymore, how to behave around you ever since he admitted his feelings to himself. And I know you're missing something,

“I´m not forcing you to meet me and talk to me, you know? You´re free to leave whenever you want” you frowned, if he wanted to break up contact he should just ignore you, you knew he could do that very well. “But I don´t want to leave” he started to sound like a little stubborn brat, it was so uncharacteristic for him. “Well then what do you want?!” you didn´t mean to snap at him, but you weren´t sure what else to do when he confused you like that. Because I felt it there that night, and caught you blushing Sasuke stayed silent for a moment to sort his thoughts, he remembered Sakura´s warm smile as she told him that he´d never knew until he tried and told you how he felt. “I want to get to know you as you know me, but also in a more...intimate way...I want to protect you from all evil in this world, I want to be with you the way Sakura wanted to be with me” he couldn´t help but blush a bit saying those words to you. He was so embarrassed, he didn´t even meet your eye. You only could reciprocate the blush at his unusual boldness.

Here I am again, rock bottom. Dug this hole to hell to rot in. Shouldn't have ignored my friends, It frayed the rope that they had dropped in. Here I lay again, rock bottom. What was life like? I've forgotten how the sun felt on my skin, Resurrect and start again. The ebb and flow of life's mystery, So I guess I'll never know. Yeah, I got caught up in history, So I think it's time for me to let this go.

Sasuke felt so relieved when he finally said those words to you that he spent hours after hours forming with the help of Sakura. They planned the way he would confess, where and when, what he´d say but in the end, everything turned out different. You giggled when you pointed out that he was blushing, only deepening the red in his cheeks. The way you laughed made him feel all fuzzy but this time he knew why and this certainty made him smirk at you. “You´re also blushing, you know?” he cockily raised an eyebrow. “That´s your fault” you teased him, but then you realized that you didn´t tell him that you liked him back yet. “Sasuke? I want to be more intimate with you too” you said, watching his eyes light up with hope and happiness. Here I am again, rock bottom. Dug this hole to hell to rot in. Shouldn't have ignored my friends, It frayed the rope that they dropped in. Here I lay again, rock bottom. What was life like? I've forgotten how the sun felt on my skin, Resurrect and start again. Break out, I need to break out, I need to break out, Gotta get me out or I'm gonna break down, I'm gonna break down, I've hit rock bottom. Resurrect and start again.

[janeofcakes]

Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Ten Feet from the Pack: Chapter 2

Hey, y’all! I hope everyone had a great, great week. I had a busy one, that’s for sure. It’s been so long I forgot what it was like to scramble for seven days, trying to get everything typed and edited so I can keep a schedule. Yikes! I know it’s a couple days late, but here it is. I hope you all like it! And I hope everyone who wants to has heard from me. I love all of my established fans and welcome all the new ones. You all inspire me to keep writing. Thank you for you love and support.

And now, without further ado...

***

Welcome to the jungle, we’ve got fun and games.                                                                       --Guns N’ Roses, Welcome to the Jungle

Sherlock is seated at his desk. Every inch of its surface is covered with papers, books and file folders full of clippings, all on roller derby tactics and strategies. He makes a point of knowing every new maneuver as it is developed, as well as any updates to old ones. Every minute not on the track with the ladies is spent reading and sifting, and then applying his findings to the team. He also formulates his own original moves and plans, demonstrating them to the ladies himself.

Sherlock revolutionized coaching when he joined the staff ten years prior and was the youngest coach of a top national team the league had ever seen. Mrs. Hudson took a huge gamble on him and it paid out in dividends. The team had already been slowly recovering from a long slump, but Sherlock brought them back to life. Within two years, the Rock City Rollers were at the top of their division and then the league, and they haven’t slowed down since.

Sherlock’s approach to coaching had changed everything. At 28, he was only slightly older than most of the ladies and younger than a handful. He quickly gained their respect when he turned up for his first practice in a tee and gym shorts, all geared up in skates and pads. He had clearly had them a long time and had not just purchased them as some inane attempt to relate to the team. His pads were scuffed, as well as the protective covers on the toes of his skates. His helmet bore stickers worn with time. Most of them quotes from movies and literature. All of the skaters noted a sticker that simply read “Number 37”. A reference to a scene from Clerks and the same sticker on captain of the team, Molly Hooper’s helmet. All of them noticed, but no one did more than give one another sideways glances. It was quickly forgotten when Sherlock started warming up with them and doing laps. He wanted to see everyone’s style of skating and skill set those first couple months so he could begin to build the team’s repertoire. He skated with them whenever he had the chance and quickly became ‘one of the ladies’ while still holding the respect a coach deserved. 

Sherlock’s eyes are closed. The tall french doors into his mind palace are open. Each skater has a room from which he can pull files and images, clips of their derby play to mix and match as need be. He watches as his own strategies play out before his mind’s eye. Sherlock stores the information he collects and files it, organizes it so he can access it whenever the need arises. As a result, he knows all and can change from one strategy to a better suited one on the fly, and his coaching methods guarantee that the ladies are prepared for any change of plans.

A light rap on his office door catches Sherlock’s attention. He closes his mind palace and opens his eyes. Reaching for a bottle of water and twisting off the cap, he grants entry in a loud voice. The wide door swings open to reveal Molly Hooper, dressed for afternoon practice in a pair of spandex shorts and a team tank. Pads cover her elbows and knees, but helmet and skates are missing. She steps into the room, closing the door behind and comes to stand before his desk with her hands on her hips.

“You look like you haven’t moved a muscle,” she narrows her eyes. “You did eat lunch.”

It’s not a question. Sherlock meets her gaze and doesn’t bother to lie, merely shrugging in response. Molly shakes her head, snaps the bottle from his grasp and takes a drink as she sits in the chair across the desk from him. Producing a banana she must have tucked in the waistband of her shorts, she throws it at him and he catches it with a start.

“You’re eating it on the way to practice,” she tells him sternly and then smiles fondly. “So what are you plotting this time?”

“Just working out some new strategies,” he answers with a grin. “I’d like to develop a formula for calculating the amount of force required to knock over any given blocker. Once Trixie and Mary can do it easily, the three of us can train the others to do the same and more jammers will have the confidence to come in hot.”

“Not everyone can do math in a split second, love.”

“They can if the formula is simple enough,” he leans forward in his chair with a sparkle in his eye. “I just need to pair it down to the most essential factors.”

“Well, if anyone can do it, it’s you,” Molly hands him the water bottle.

“Thank you for your confidence,” he says around the bottle as he takes a drink. “Everyone ready?”

“More or less,” she watches while he turns his chair to reach a shining silver whistle dangling from a hook on the wall. Once its woven navy blue cord hangs around his neck, Sherlock hunches forward to pull on a pair of bright green ankle socks. His office has basically been a barefoot zone since day one. The cool flooring on the soles helps clear his mind and relax the muscles in his body. It’s better for him than any massage. He glances at Molly while he works.

“Something on your mind, Molls?” he asks, seeing the thoughtful concern in her expression. Molly takes a deep breath and considers her words carefully.

“This new doctor,” she begins, biting her lip.

“Dr. Watson,” Sherlock supplies.

“What do you know about him?”

“He is nothing like Anderson,” Sherlock sits up and meets her eyes. “He studied in London and his references are very impressive. They all speak highly of him, including Griffy.”

“I know all that,” she says and then hesitates. “Will you do it when you meet him?”

“Molly, you know I don’t deduce anyone who is a part of this team.”

“Please.”

Sherlock closes his mouth abruptly, covering his upper lip with his lower and retracting it again. He stares at Molly for a long moment and neither of them makes a sound. She knows exactly what she is asking him to do and knows that he can never refuse her anything. He promised Greg he would, how did he phrase it, ‘only use his powers for good’? The problem is Sherlock wants to be sure Watson won’t be Anderson all over again. Surely that is adequate reason to invade this man’s privacy, especially if he chooses to target any of the ladies.

“You can trust that I will do everything in my power to protect you and the other ladies.”

“I know, Sherlock, I know you will,” the team captain assures him, but still wears a face of concern. “And I know you don’t do it to anyone with Rock City, but I thought this might be an exception.”

Sherlock looks at her and his expression softens. He stands and moves around the desk, placing a hand on hers where she grips the armrest.

“I’ll take care of it, Molly,” he promises. “Mrs. Hudson spent the conference with him and trusts him implicitly. But yes, he will have to pass under my own scrutiny.”

They share a look for several seconds, both reading the other’s intentions. The tension around Molly’s eyes begins to ease. She has known Sherlock for far too long to doubt the meaning of his words. With a smile on her face, she pops up out of the chair and kisses his cheek.

“Thanks, love,” she says warmly.

“You’re welcome,” he turns slightly and offers his arm. “Shall we go?”

Molly slips her arm in his and they head for the track.

***

Three hours later and they are racing around the track, careening toward the other eight skaters who are poised to stop them. Other members of the team stand outside the track, cheering and egging them on. It had been an intense practice, starting with drills and moving straight to hardcore scrimmaging. Knowing the practice was coming to an end, the ladies all insisted Molly and Sherlock try to outscore each other for a little fun. Sherlock only gave in when Molly joined in the cajoling. He may skate with them, but seldom scrimmages. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had.

With a smile on his face, Sherlock steps one foot over the other as he comes to the pack at high speed. Molly is right on his heels, an excited grin shining brightly on her face. Sherlock’s eyes dart toward Molly before meeting those of his blocker. With the slightest of nods, he signals her, and the two fingers he holds covertly at his side reveal his plan. She squeezes the arms of the other two blockers and the stage is set.

Just as Sherlock reaches the pack, BatR cuts out of position to crowd an opposing blocker to the boundary line. Since they all know their own strategies, the others recognize the move immediately.

“Shit!” Mary cries. “Bob’s your uncle!”

She and her teammates try to adjust, but it is too late. Hella and HardOn pounce on the other blockers, and The Woman rushes Molly. With women crashing into one another all around, Sherlock gracefully cuts inside and through easily. He emerges on the other side of the pack without so much as a touch, another four points to his name while Molly remains behind, held fast by The Woman and Hella.

Sherlock’s smile grows as he glides around the track, filing that one away for future bouts. That is when Witch Hazel catches his eyes from track side.

“Coach! Coach!” she calls, holding his cell phone aloft. “It’s Lestrade!”

Sherlock slows his pace and hops off the track to stand next to her. He motions for her to take his place and she jumps in. Molly, having broken free of the pack, calls out in welcome when Witch Hazel enters and they speed toward the pack together.

“Greg,” Sherlock greets a little breathlessly, bringing the phone to his ear, but has little chance to say another word before the man’s voice whispers the message.

“He’s in the stadium. Mrs. Hudson is touring him around, but she’s leaving the track and team to us. They’re heading for my office.”

“I’m on my way,” Sherlock ends the call and blows his whistle sharply. The cheers die down swiftly and the action stops, soon all eyes are on him. “Our new doctor is here. I’ll bring him down in about an hour. Get cleaned up and come back here to meet him. Great practice.”

He skates onto the track again. Every skater heads toward him until the whole team is clustered into a tight jumble of sweaty bodies and smiling faces. Each stretches out one arm into the center and some even grab the hand of a teammate within reach.

“Take us home, Groot,” Sherlock smiles at the skater across from him as he takes her hand. Her returning grin is nothing less than spectacular.

“I am Groot!” she chants quickly instead of the numbers 1, 2, 3. No one is at all phased as they yell a jovial ‘DRC Woo!’.

When the group breaks, Sherlock turns to head for Greg’s office, but a strong hand grips his shoulder lightly and then lets go. He swivels his head to see their most infamous duo. Not only are HardOn Skates and Hell On Wheels a couple, they are also the team’s die-hard jokesters.

“You gonna meet Ph.D. like that, Coach?” Hella asks with an appreciative look at his lean, sweaty frame. HardOn puckers her lips in feigned lust, letting out a quiet ‘ooo’.

“If he can’t handle this, he’ll never make it on this team,” he replies with a sassy shake of his ass.

“Oh-ho!” Hella laughs as everyone joins in with whistles and catcalls.

“Go get him, Coach,” HardOn chuckles with a wink.

Sherlock laughs and skates out of the arena for the elevators.

When he arrives at the door to Greg’s office he can tell Dr. Watson is already there. Judging from Greg’s steady stream of words, Mrs. Hudson has already left. Perfect timing as far as Sherlock is concerned. Certain questions will go far better without a scolding mother in the mix. Sherlock stands still for a moment and listens. Greg is telling Watson about the team as it stands now, which means he got through its history in record time (unlikely) or Mrs. Hudson already did (clearly). They were together for most of the conference with nothing to do but go to boring seminars and talk to one another. God, who knows what she told him. Watson probably knows her life story, and all the ladies’ too. And Greg, Mike, Daniel, Craig...shit. And Sherlock’s too. Mrs. Hudson thinks of him as a son and is prone to over-sharing. Sherlock only knows what was in Watson’s file (admittedly impressive), what Griffy and other references told him (also impressive), and what he could find online (again, impressive). The man’s past seems to be free of misdeeds and his closets of skeletons. He appears to be squeaky clean, but that isn’t going to stop Sherlock from asking the hard questions and doing it directly.

Straightening his spine and relaxing his shoulders, Sherlock raps lightly on the office door. Greg’s voice rings out, cool and clear (comfortable, interesting) granting Sherlock entrance. Greg nods in his direction and the short, blonde man sitting in the chair turns to look at the coach. 

Sherlock’s heart stops.

“Sherlock, come in,” Greg says in a business-like, but friendly tone. He turns back to the doctor. “This is our coach, Sherlock Holmes.”

The man, who is standing now, walks the short distance to stand before Sherlock. His hand is outstretched and he wears a bright smile on his face.

“Sherlock,” Greg continues, “Dr. John Watson.”

The most beautiful smile.

“Hello.”

God, his voice is lovely and he still has a light accent after his two years in the States.

“Please call me John,” he shakes Sherlock’s hand and his hand is so warm and soft. Sherlock swallows hard and mumbles a respectable greeting, feeling like an utter idiot. Something he needs to stop this minute. He needs to get a hold of himself, for god sake. He is a grown man and a professional. He needs to act the part, especially in the presence of this disarming man. 

But god, he is gorgeous. Short, sandy blonde locks that compliment his tanned skin, a definite hallmark of living in the sun. His file read that he abruptly pulled up stakes in London to move to California of all places. He had accepted a position as head physician for a major league hockey team. Now he has moved Detroit and will have to adjust to another very different climate. Sherlock cannot help but wonder how Watson will like the cold temperatures and snow once the winter months come.

The man certainly is fit. Sherlock can see that plainly, even under a dark grey suit and baby blue shirt that compliments his dark blue eyes. Was that planned or did Watson stumble into it? He does not wear a tie, the top two shirt buttons undone and collar parted artfully at his throat. Jesus Christ, that throat. Its soft angles and strong muscles beneath sun-kissed skin, and Watson has not maintained his physique with hours in the gym. No, nothing so mundane. Instead it is...surfing. Oh, now that is interesting.

“Well,” the doctor says, stepping back a bit, “now that you’re here, I imagine you both have questions. Why don’t we all have a seat?”

Sherlock cocks a brow as he and Watson sit in the two chairs before Greg’s desk. He angles his in Watson’s direction and the doctor mirrors the action. The man is obviously very confident, almost cheeky, inviting Greg to sit in his own office. Is it because he knows he is in no danger of losing the job since Mrs. Hudson is so taken with him or is this simply his manner? Sherlock narrows his eyes as Greg begins to speak. He sees no smugness in Watson’s expression, only friendliness and interest.

“Certainly. Dr Watson was just telling me about his time with the Ducks,” Greg sounds conversational. Sherlock knows in an instant that while Greg is always agreeable with new people, Watson has already begun to win him over. The coach’s hackles are raised. He has just become the last line of defense. He must protect the ladies at all cost and that means he cannot be charmed.

“Has he now?” Sherlock studies the doctor with sharp eyes. “Tell me then, Doctor, why does a respected, established surgeon leave London for a position as a physician over an all male hockey team?”

Sherlock’s words are dripping with innuendo and suspicion. Greg closes his eyes and fights the urge to face palm. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Sherlock never makes anything easy. To his credit, he regains his composure quickly and looks at Watson.

“Yes. Well, what he means is…”

“No, it’s a good question. I can definitely see why you would wonder about it. It’s a bit strange. Quite a shift from one world to another, let me tell you,” Watson cuts him off with a wave of his hand. He shifts his eyes to Sherlock and watches with a measured gaze. If Sherlock didn’t know better, he would think the man was deducing him. The coach looks right back at him, all manner of deductions filling his brain as he waits for the doctor’s answer. If the man is offended by the implications the question carries, he does not show it.

“Well,” Sherlock prompts wryly. John blows out a puff of air and almost seems to relax even more than he has already.

“I was bored.”

The room is silent. Sherlock only just keeps his jaw from dropping. His suspicion and deductions falling away as one all-encompassing thought spreads through his mind palace from the top down. How can a man like Dr. John Watson even exist, and in this place and time with Sherlock? The derby gods are clearly toying with him. He prides himself on having no romantic entanglements. They only complicate things and occupy space in his mind palace, intrusive and pushing themselves to the forefront when he has more important matters to consider. And now… He stares at the man before him, all smooth edges and charming smiles and identical dimples on either cheek and so...damn...genuine. 

“Bored?” Greg’s voice snaps Sherlock from the spell. He blinks and looks at Greg, whose brow is furrowed in confusion.

“Yeah, I know. Sounds totally mental,” Watson acknowledges. “It was general surgery, so it’s not like I was doing the same nose job day after day on the rich and stuck up. I just...I wanted something different. I didn’t love doing it anymore.”

Sherlock can see why Mrs. Hudson likes this man so much. Her husband’s obsession with money and power made her see just how unimportant they really are and anyone who would cast aside a lucrative position to follow a dream, a passion, is worth his or her weight in gold. Watson definitely has a passion for healing and comforting the fallen. It is who he is and practicing medicine in any setting clearly brings him joy and purpose. Sherlock stops for a moment to wonder if he, himself cares about anything so deeply. The answer is obvious. Derby. Skating. It’s in his blood and has been ever since the first time he skinned his knee trying to balance on his first pair of quads. Losing it would be losing himself.

“So, hockey?” Greg’s voice pulls him from his reverie. His eyes coming back into focus, Sherlock looks at the other two men. Greg gives him a side glance that screams ‘What the hell is wrong with you’, but he schools his expression quickly and looks back at the doctor.

“Yeah,” Watson says with a chuckle, “‘bout as different as it gets. New place, new people, new medicine.”

“Your file says you ‘minored’ in sports medicine?” Greg begins. “What does this even mean? How does someone minor in anything while studying to be a surgeon?”

“I needed something else to fill my time,” Watson shrugs. “I’ve always been drawn to sports medicine. Always wanted to develop new ways of treating common injuries, both major and minor, but research was never my forte.”

Suddenly it all becomes clear to Sherlock in a burst of uncontrolled deduction and the words are out of his mouth before he has a chance to think better of it. 

“You have a limp.”

Both men snap their heads to stare at Sherlock in surprise.

“Very slight, but it was much worse and for quite some time,” he continues, reading it off the doctor like a book. It is the first time since he entered the room that he can deduce Watson at all. There is something about him, something odd. Something that keeps Sherlock from seeing the real Dr. Watson like he can with everyone else he has ever met. It is absolutely intriguing and Sherlock cannot resist the temptation to continue reading. “You played rugby your first year of college. You entered medical school the following year. Your build and shorter stature lent well to the sport, so the ball was often given to you. It was on one such occasion that your leg was broken, in a less than clean hit. Two places, possibly three. It was difficult to repair. They said you would never walk again.”

“Sherlock!” Greg says, loud and stern. Sherlock meets his furious eyes and wonders how many times he tried to get his attention,

Regretfully, Sherlock shifts his gaze to the doctor. Sherlock had expressly agreed not to do exactly this. Not to piss off the man on his first day. Not to attack him or push his buttons, especially since they will be working together so closely. But when he looks at John Watson, there is no trace of anger on his face. It is more like surprise, disbelief, admiration? Sherlock cocks his brow and tilts his head.

“That. Was,” Watson’s words come slowly and Sherlock readies himself to apologize, “Amazing.”

Coach and GM alike blink their eyes wide, both expecting a completely different response.

“You really think so?” Sherlock asks.

“Absolutely,” a smile tips up the corners of Watson’s lips and his tongue darts out to lick them.

“That’s not what people usually say.”

“Oh? What do they say?” 

“Piss off.”

A warm laugh bursts from the doctor and he shakes his head slightly. Sherlock follows suit in spite of himself. What is going on? He wasn’t meant to feel immediately at ease with this man. He was going to approach him with cold caution and ask the rude questions, not melt into a giggling puddle at the doctor’s feet.

“Dr. Watson,” Sherlock says, affecting a tight and tense tone, “why have you accepted this position?”

“Well, working the hockey racket isn’t as exciting as you might think,” he answers simply. “Meeting Mrs. Hudson at the conference was a godsend. We hit it off straight away, and she told me everything about roller derby, the team and its history. It’s where I need to be.”

“Is it? And why is that?” Sherlock asks sharply. Greg is staring daggers at him, but he ignores him. He made a promise to Molly, to all the ladies, and he will not forget it. “Is it the appeal of playing doctor with fit women rather than a bunch of toothless hooligans?” 

Sherlock’s eyes are hard and accusatory. The doctor stares at him coolly. The office is so quiet that a noise, any noise in the whole facility, could find its way to the three men’s ears. Greg is about to stand and break the silence when Watson beats him to it.

“Mister Holmes,” he begins in a crisp voice, “any coach in your position, especially one who had just run across such a bastard as you have, would take all steps necessary to make damn sure it didn’t happen again. I absolutely understand that. Let me assure you that I would never make any advances toward any patient. It is despicable and an utter abuse of trust.”

Sherlock stares him down with fury in his eyes, waiting to hear the speech Anderson gave him when confronted. ‘I would never risk my medical license or my reputation on a whore like Sally Donovan.’ That was all it had taken for Sherlock to lay out the prick with one punch and throw him right out of the building with an honest to god kick to the curb. Anderson was arrested after Mrs. Hudson formally fired him. With no danger of him returning, Sally finally opened up about the full extent of his manipulations. Mrs. Hudson and the team lawyers made every effort to have Anderson punished to the fullest extent of the law, but he had been bailed out and then vanished.

Sherlock waits for the same pompous, arrogant words to be tossed in his face as he grows more angry by the second. But they do not come. Instead, Watson fixes him with very serious and concerned eyes.

“Please check up on me in any way you feel necessary. I will not disappoint you.”

Sherlock narrows his eyes. Is the doctor upset that he accused him? Of course he is. He’s fully pissed off, but doesn’t show it. Well, not in any way someone other than Sherlock can see. Watson also clearly understands Sherlock’s position, just like he said, and has elected diplomacy over sentiment. The coach can feel a thin layer of reason slough off his defenses. He ignores it.

“Thank you,” he says in a neutral tone. “I will.”

“Sherlock, why don’t you show Dr. Watson his office and finish the tour?” Greg interjects suddenly. He watches Sherlock closely as he continues to deduce Watson. He knows exactly what the coach is doing. Exactly what he isn’t supposed to and at Molly’s request, no doubt. Greg could stop him or send him away on some stupid errand and show the doctor around himself, but he won’t. The truth is, he also wants to know for damn sure that they will never have another Anderson in their ranks. 

When Sherlock finally turns his head to meet Greg’s gaze, the smallest of smiles flits over the GM’s lips. The hard-nosed coach has come to the same conclusion he and Mrs. Hudson have, even if reluctantly - John Watson can be trusted.

“Of course,” the tall man rises and Watson follows suit. Sherlock holds the door open. The doctor passes through with a goodbye to Greg and a thank you to Sherlock. Just before he turns away, Greg catches Sherlock’s eye.

“Be nice,” he mouths.

Sherlock rolls his eyes dramatically and closes the door.

He continues the tour where Mrs. Hudson left off, showing Watson where other staff offices are, including his own. They survey the in-house x-ray, CT and MRI suites, as well as the sick bay for minor injuries and short stays of observation. Anything more invasive requires transport to Ford Hospital. As they walk a few feet to Watson’s new office, Sherlock loses his stride for a moment before resuming pace. He and the doctor have engaged in easy conversation whenever he hasn’t been offering an explanation for a room or policy. Sherlock isn’t even faking. It is not the annoying ‘polite conversation’ he is sometimes subjected to when reporters have to wait for the camera man.

What the hell is happening to him?

“You okay?”

“What? Yes, of course,” Sherlock glances toward the doctor and rushes to say, “This is your office.”

He unlocks the door and pushes it open. The light clicks on as they enter the spacious room filled with filing cabinets and bookshelves. A large wooden desk dominates, a closed laptop resting on one side with a separate keyboard and monitor. Watson takes it all in as Sherlock closes the door behind.

“You can rearrange or remove anything you like,” he says. “The next two doors down are exam rooms. I’ll show you when we leave.”

“Of course, of course. Medical records are on paper as well as electronic?” Watson asks, walking around the desk. Sherlock stares at him a moment before nodding. The corner of Watson’s mouth rises and he gestures. “Too many filing cabinets not to have copies.”

“Our previous physician had been here for some time and was of a more old fashioned sensibility,” Sherlock explains, referring to the team doctor before Anderson. As he watches Watson look around the room, his lips quirk upward in spite of himself. What other deductions will the doctor make?

“That’s good to know,” Watson nods. “And these medical texts?”

“He left them. Thought they could be helpful to the next physician.”

“I’m sure they will be,” he says with a smile. His clear blue eyes train around the room again before he faces Sherlock. “You said there are exam rooms?”

“This way.”

They leave the room and walk the short distance to the two rooms.

“Great. This all looks good,” Watson says, rubbing his hands together briefly. “What’s next?”

“The track and the team,” Sherlock says simply. The doctor grins almost mischievously.

“And are they still practicing?”

“No,” Sherlock returns with a self-deprecating smile. “I called practice when I started for Greg’s office. I’m not a monster, whatever popular opinion may suggest.”

“So you did come straight from practice then,” Watson’s grin broadens.

“Problem?”

“No, just explains the bandana and the whole…” he gestures toward Sherlock’s workout ensemble. Sherlock lifts his hand and rests it on the bandana hiding his hair. He had all but forgotten it was there. Like many of the ladies, he always wears one under his helmet to keep any stray curls from falling onto his face. Shaking his head, he uses the same hand to direct the doctor down the hall for the elevator.

“How far back do the records go?” Watson asks into their companionable silence. 

“Since each one joined the team,” Sherlock answers, “and a medical history, of course.”

“Of course,” he echoes and then smirks. “And the coach too?” 

“Of course,” he says again, looking sideways at the shorter man. “Everyone on skates.”

“Do you skate often?”

“Nearly every practice,” the coach shrugs. “Depends on what we’re doing.”

“Do a lot of coaches skate with their teams?”

“No, most don’t.”

“And what makes you so different?”

They stop in front of an elevator. Sherlock presses the down button and fixes a steady gaze on Watson.

“That’s what makes me different.”

Neither man says a word. The doors open and they step inside the elevator.

“Mrs. Hudson said you were the youngest coach the league had ever seen when she hired you.”

“Mrs. Hudson seems to have told you quite a bit,” Sherlock answers with irritation.

“She thought I should know the team history.”

They share a look as Sherlock’s hackles raise. Just what does Watson know? How much did his well-meaning surrogate mother share?

“Look, Watson…”

“Please,” he interrupts, hands up in placation, ”I didn’t mean to offend you. Mrs. Hudson is obviously quite fond of you. I just thought it was...sweet. Reminds me of my own mum. I’m sorry.”

Sherlock pauses, eyes searching the doctor’s face, but it has gone disappointingly unreadable again. He straightens his spine, head held high as he shifts his gaze back to the elevator doors.

“How does she feel about you living on another continent?” he deflects, trying not to show just how much he appreciates the apology.

“Oh, I don’t suppose she minds. She passed five years ago.”

“God,” Sherlock mumbles nearly inaudibly. Of course he would stumble right into talking about Watson’s dead mother. Jesus Christ. He continues to stare at the elevator door, not wanting to meet Watson’s eyes. Finally raising his voice to speak more clearly, tilting his head toward the doctor as he does so. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s fine,” the elevator doors open, “and please call me John. Good working relationships start with first names...Sherlock.”

“Right,” he replies, having no intention of doing so. “The stadium’s this way. You’ll hear it called the track, auditorium, a handful of other things. I prefer stadium.”

“How many people does it hold?”

“About 20,000.”

“Wow.”

“Derby isn’t as big as football or baseball, but we attract a big crowd. We’re almost always sold out.”

“But this building is so big. I can’t believe I’ve seen all of it.”

“You haven’t,” Sherlock smirks as he pulls open a door. “Ironically, we share it with the Red Wings and Pistons. They share the other half. Capacity’s about the same. If you don’t like it here you can always switch to the other side.”

Watson might have laughed at the joke, but he had just entered the stadium and appeared to be mesmerized by… Ah, the championship banners.

“Nine years straight,” he looks at Sherlock, not even bothering to hide how gobsmacked he is. “One for every year you’ve been here.”

“Except the first,” Sherlock corrects and Watson just huffs a short laugh. “Come on. The ladies are waiting on the track.”

The two men walk up the ramp that lies between two sections of seats. As they go, the group of women comes into view. When they see Sherlock and Watson approach, those who were sitting on the railing or in the team box stand and gather. The two men soon stand before them, their coach gesturing toward the doctor.

“Ladies, this is Dr. John Watson. He comes to us from sunny California.”

“Shit,” HardOn says without a care in the world, “that’s like having 24/7 vacation. Why the hell would you come here?”

“Yeah, don’t let the sunny days fool you, Doc. More of ‘em have snow than not,” Hella continues.

“Thanks for the tip,” Watson chuckles. Sherlock bites back a grin in an effort to maintain some sense of professionalism, but inside his heart wants to soar. He tries to tamp it down, keep himself from getting carried away. But in all honesty, every one of Sherlock’s innermost hopes for the new doctor seem to be coming to fruition before his very eyes. And wouldn’t that be fucking fantastic? And where the hell did this man come from?

“We’ll get to the comedians in a moment,” Sherlock clears his throat and motions to Molly, who steps forward with a smile. “This is our team captain, Mollycious Intent.”

“Hi,” she shakes Watson’s hand. “Molly Hooper.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” he replies with a warm smile. Molly glances at Sherlock and reads the approval on his face. Her smile brightens as her eyes slide back to the doctor.

“Pleasure’s all mine.”

“Molly has been our captain for eleven of her fourteen years with the team,” Sherlock tells Watson almost proudly.

“Wow,” the doctor’s eyes widen. “You must have been just out of uni, yeah?”

“Drafted straight out of college, if that’s what you mean,” Molly laughs.

“That’s exactly what I mean, yes,” Watson joins her with a chuckle. “It’s good to meet you. We’ll talk later, yeah?”

“I’d like that,” Molly answers. She turns to the rest of the team and the doctor follows her lead. Hella steps forward, offering her hand.  

“Hell on Wheels,” she says as they shake hands. “Hella for short.”

“Nice to meet you, Hella,” Watson says her name hesitantly.

“Clara,” she laughs. “Don’t worry. Real and derby names are in all the files.”

“God, I hope so,” he answers with a laugh. Hella tilts toward HardOn and gently places her head on the shorter woman’s shoulder.

“And this is my better half, Harry.”

“Oh, Harry,” the doctor looks somewhat relieved, obviously hoping that is her derby name. His expression alters greatly when she takes his hand and introduces herself by the real one.

“HardOn.”

“What?”

“HardOn.”

Watson is frozen to the spot and his face panicked. HardOn simply grins at him casually and Sherlock finds himself doing the same. There is something very genuine and charming about John Watson. Sherlock can feel his toes begin to tingle. It creeps up to his knees and along his thighs. It works its way up his torso to his heart and mind with every word Watson says to every skater he meets. It is undeniable excited energy and Sherlock is doing all he can to keep it in check.

“HardOn Skates.”

“On...skates.”

“Yeah,” she claps his shoulder, “now you’ve got it. Harry ‘HardOn Skates’ Dewhurst.”

Watson remains frozen another few seconds and then he lets out a long breath as he smiles slowly, understanding dawning.

“HardOn Skates.”

“HardOn.”

“Right.”

“I like you, Ph.D.,” she laughs. “You remind me of my little brother.”

“You’ll need lots of bonding time then,” a tall woman with dark brown hair and ruby red lips strolls over. She extends an elegant hand and takes the doctor’s in it warmly. He is completely flabbergasted, much like everyone who meets her. “I’m The Woman.”

“Irene Adler,” Sherlock interjects. He is annoyed, but why?

“You never fail to ruin an entrance, Coach,” she scolds. Sherlock rolls his eyes.

“Hi,” a short blonde pushes past The Woman. “I’m Bloody Mary and you are adorable. I could just...devour you.”

“Mary!” Sherlock snaps. Everyone looks at him in surprise. He is surprised himself, but will not show it. He is used to putting an end to Mary’s flirtations, but typically not with such vehemence. He quickly continues as if nothing unusual has happened. “May I remind you that no skater may have a relationship with an authority figure.”

“Well, sure, Coach. You can tell me anything you want,” she says with feigned innocence. She looks at him a moment and then covers her mouth with her hand, making a big show of faux shock. “Wait, does he count as authority?”

“You know he does,” Sherlock hisses as she raises her hands in placation.

Three more women approach Watson before any more can be said. The first, and leader of the pack, inserts herself between Mary and the doctor. 

“Trixie Belt’em,” she shakes his hand firmly. “Sally.”

“Sally, you have no idea how glad I am to meet you,” Watson says with a nervous laugh.

“I bet,” Sally murmurs with a knowing look. She turns to gesture at the woman to her right. “This is Bone Crusher.”

“Sarah Sawyer.”

“And Witch Hazel.”

“Anthea.��

“Good to meet you.”

The rest of the team introduce themselves one by one. Sherlock watches silently and tries not to grin like a fool. This man is perfect for the team. Absolutely perfect. And that is what makes Sherlock bite his lip and frown internally. No distractions. No interference. No sentiment. 

As Watson meets the last woman on the team, his brows arch upward at the pleasant Irish lilt in her voice.

“Nice t’meet you,” she shakes his hand. “Ginger Smacks.”

She laughs instantly when Watson tips his head sideways in confusion. He glances at her dark hair and the corner of his mouth turns up.

“I know. It doesn’t make any sense, but it suits me. Call me Smacks.”

“Smacks, it is,” he huffs a laugh.

“I hear you’re from the UK. I used to live in London. Haven’t been back in years.”

“No kidding? Whereabouts?”

“Just off Hyde Park.”

“I was close to Regent’s. Baker Street.”

“Oh, yeah, right. I know the area,” Smacks smiles brilliantly and then sighs. “God, I’d love to go back one day.”

“Well, I’ll let you know if I see any good fares,” Watson jokes. He looks around at everyone and puffs out a breath. “So this is the team. I’ve met everyone?”

“Yep,” HardOn steps away from the group. “No offense, Ph.D., but I need to get going. Meet me later?”

Hella nods in answer as HardOn blows a kiss, bids everyone farewell and hurries away. As the rest of the group scatters with ‘see you laters’ and ‘nice to meet yous’, Sherlock sidles up to Watson’s side.

“I’m sure you’d like to start on the medical files. Think you can find your way back to your office?”

“Not a chance,” he replies with a genuine smile. It’s the most beautiful smile Sherlock has ever seen and now he will see it every day. By complete and utter coincidence, John Watson works in the stadium with him. Sherlock is a man of concrete principles - use the evidence at hand, knowledge of scientific forces, map out strategy in his mind palace. Fate is not something he believes in and yet, here is John Watson. Here, by his side, with no logical explanation.

Sherlock physically shudders and immediately berates himself internally. What the fuck is wrong with him? He made up his mind long ago. No feelings. No relationships. No entanglements. Caring about the ladies is one thing, but caring for one person, one man romantically is out of the question. It will only get in the way. Sherlock tamps down his traitorous thoughts and feelings. Caring is not an advantage.

“I’ll walk you there.”

“Ta very much,” John lets out a breath of relief and a short laugh.

Damn that smile.

Sherlock gestures and they walk around the track. He steers the doctor a quarter turn toward the inclined walkway from whence they came and they pass through the door. They remain silent until the elevator begins to ascend. John takes in a breath and holds it for a moment. Clearly, he thinks Sherlock will not like what he is about to say. Sherlock’s interest is peaked and waiting even the few seconds for John to speak is intolerable. 

Sherlock narrows his eyes.

Since when does he call him John?

“I’d like to sit in on practice,” John is looking right at Sherlock, eyes locked on his. He wants to ensure that Sherlock does not see this as an intrusion. “Every practice. Just for a bit. I want to see how the game is played and where the injuries may come from. It’ll help me know what to expect.”

Sherlock doesn’t say a word or even move. He simply stares at John, mystified. Every one of his defenses begins to melt, dripping off his body like beads of sweat. Again, Sherlock asks himself how this man not only exists, but is standing before him. He seems to embody all Sherlock could ever dream of for the Rock City team doctor. He is brilliant, well-versed, interested, interesting, friendly, he already gets along with the ladies. He wasn’t just taken aback when The Woman flirted with him, he was downright flustered and it was so incredibly adorable.

Sherlock blinks his eyes, breaking the spell and pushes away all of his thoughts to focus on the issue at hand.

“Of course,” he shrugs his shoulders casually so John will know he is not at all bothered by the request. “It is the best way to truly understand the sport.”

“But Anderson never did it,” John supplies in a skeptical tone.

“Not once,” Sherlock says the words like they taste sour. “The man had no idea. He was an idiot.”

“I don’t doubt it. And I don’t plan on repeating his mistakes.”

“Not possible,” Sherlock states matter of factly. “You are nothing like him.”

They study one another in silence and the elevator doors open. They walk down the hall and are soon at John’s door. He unlocks it with the key card Sherlock gave him, but stops half way in and turns back to the coach. Sherlock suddenly feels like he is on a date that has reached its awkward ending and he cannot decide whether or not to seal it with a kiss.

“You’ll let me know when you hold practice?”

“I’ll email you the schedule as soon as I get to my office,” he assures him.

“Good. Great. Thanks,” John moves further into the office.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Sherlock reminds and then turns in the direction of his own office.

John leans back against the closed office door and blows out a long breath. He expected Mrs. Hudson to take him all over the stadium and tell him all manner of stories so he knows the place like he has been there much longer than a few hours. He expected to meet the staff. Obviously. He would spend a lot of time with Greg. John thought Greg would take him on the rest of the tour and walk him down to meet the team. He had no idea how many women there would be. He knew it would be less than the hockey team, but he would still have a host of names to learn. It didn’t occur to him that he would have to learn two sets of them or that one set would be so colorful. Christ, one of them is called HardOn for fuck’s sake. 

John walks to the desk and sits. He opens the laptop and logs in with the password written on a note next to it. He changes the password and begins scanning through folders and file names to get an idea of how things are organized.

“Hm. Arranged by surname,” he mumbles to himself. “Makes sense, but no one mentioned a single one. Oh, wait! Dewhurst, Harriette. Well, that’s one.”

He huffs a laugh. He will read everything in every folder, of course, but won’t know who matches what until he goes to practices and gets to know everyone better. Although, he may be able to tell from cadence and habits created by old injuries. He smiles to himself as he continues to scan the screen until his eyes settle on the folder called Holmes. Holmes. John’s lips curve downward. He opens the folder and then each file one by one.

John expected everything he saw and learned, every policy, every person he met. But what he did not expect was Sherlock Holmes. Mrs. Hudson had told John a lot about the coach, both professionally and personally. To a great extent he feels he knows Sherlock Holmes, in spite of having just met him. Mrs. Hudson had warned him that Sherlock would behave badly when Greg introduced them, asking very pointed questions and possibly with hostility. 

“It’s all to protect the ladies, John,” she had said. “You have to understand how horrible Anderson was. Please don’t take it to heart.”

“I’ll work closely with this bloke, yeah?”

“Very.”

“Suppose I don’t pass his test, Or he just doesn’t like me.”

“Oh, he’ll like you. No doubt about that,” Mrs. Hudson had chuckled knowingly. John raised a brow. “You two are like two peas in a pod. You’ll just click. I can tell.”

John had laughed then, putting little stock into Mrs. Hudson’s crystal ball, but after meeting the man… John typically gets along with people - he’s friendly and conversational - but with Sherlock. It all comes so naturally and John feels so comfortable, like he has known Sherlock for years. And yet, John must tread lightly. Sherlock could still prove to be a hindrance if he disagrees with John’s diagnoses or treatment in the future. The coaches in Anaheim did it often enough. Plus, Sherlock was friendly enough after the initial interview, but was also so distant. It has left John with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It seems Mrs. Hudson’s intuition could not have been more wrong.

John reads on and is tilting his head, reading an x-ray of a past fractured wrist when a knock sounds on the office door. His eyes train on it and he rises to answer, wondering who would be calling on him so soon after his arrival. Greg or Mrs. Hudson, come to tell him some forgotten piece of information? When he opens the door, it is Molly Hooper on the other side. She looks nervous and uncertain, the complete opposite of the confident derby captain he met only moments ago.

“Molly,” John says, surprise in his voice.

“Hi,” she avoids his eyes. “Can I come in?”

“Yes,” John steps aside. “Come in. Come in.”

“Thanks,” Molly says with a small smile and walks into the office. John motions to the chair in front of his desk. Molly already seems more comfortable with the situation and wears the confident expression she had when they met by the time she is seated.

“Are you all right?” he asks as he sits. “Were you hurt at practice? Or a chronic issue? I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to read up on everyone yet.”

“Oh no, no. I wouldn’t expect you’d know all that yet,” she stops speaking for a second and looks at him with probing eyes. The skin beneath them contracts as she looks at him, considering. John begins to wonder what this meeting is all about. “No, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk.”

About what, John wonders.

“Of course,” he says instead. “I’m here for whatever you need.”

“Right. Well. God, I don’t know how to begin. I don't know how to say it without sounding like a paranoid schizophrenic,” she tells him honestly, sighing and leaning back in the chair for a split-second. She sits up again before John can say a word and perches on the edge of the chair. Resting her hands on the desk, she leans in and speaks in a lower voice, “Someone is trying to sabotage the team.”

John’s eyes widen because that is absolutely the last thing he expected her to say. Hell, it wasn’t even on the radar. He leans to one side, resting his elbow on his chair’s armrest. His brow wrinkles, as it always does when he’s trying to solve a problem. He purses his lips as he considers her words.

“Sabotage how?” he asks measuredly. “Did something happen in practice?”

“No. Oh, no,” Molly shakes her head. “It never happens in practice. Always bouts. And not every bout, or even in a pattern. I think it’s meant to keep us from noticing.”

“And what happens exactly?” John asks, but is sure he knows the answer.

“Accidents,” she says, her voice hushed and very serious. “Wheels coming off, or toe stops. Trucks loosening, axles coming clean off their plates. That stuff does not just happen, Dr. Watson.”

John bites his lower lip and leans forward, placing his elbows on the desk, mirroring  Molly’s posture. He looks at her directly and blinks once, trying to wrap his head around the situation.

“Molly, I’m going to be honest,” he begins in a softer and less clinical tone. “I have no idea what most of that means. I mean, wheels, yeah. Toe stops, sure. But you’ve lost me on plates and trucks.”

“Oh, god. Sorry, sorry,” she drops her forehead into her hand for a moment and then looks at him. “Of course. The plate is the long piece of metal the boot sits on. All of the wheels, the toe stop, everything is attached to it. Trucks are what attach the axles to the plate, follow?”

“I think so,” John nods once slowly. “Have you told anyone your suspicions?”

“Yes,” she says firmly. “Sherlock.”

John wonders a moment when she calls the coach by his first name, but doesn’t stop to let it distract him from the issue at hand.

“And what does he say?”

“He chalks it up to ‘user error’,” Molly makes air quotes and rolls her eyes. “Some of the others wear older skates out of superstition and so on. Some may not give enough attention to proper maintenance, he says. But we all check our gear, Dr. Watson, especially before a bout. And even if what he says is true, it still doesn’t mean someone isn’t messing with our gear. He just doesn’t have sufficient data to draw a conclusion.”

“So he’s still collecting evidence?” John wonders at her use of words. They sound like precisely the words the coach himself would use, like there is a certain level of trust between them. A relationship?

“Of course. He’s very methodical.”

“Then why involve me?”

“If someone actually gets hurt, you’ll be seeing to them. You should know something’s going on,” Molly straightens in her chair and lifts her elbows off the desk. “And there’s...there’s something else. Something I haven’t told Sherlock.”

“Why not?” John asks with interest. This story, this woman is absolutely intriguing. He knows she is not paranoid or a schizophrenic, in spite of her concern that he will think so. That is as obvious as the day is long. Nevertheless, if he was another man, John would dismiss it all and assure her that he would keep an eye on things and then not do a thing. But John is not like any other man. He was bored in London for a long time before packing up, leaving his entire life behind and moving across the ocean. He was bored in California. And now Molly Hooper has handed him a bona fied mystery and he is chomping at the bit.

“Molly,” he says quietly, curiously, “can I ask, why trust me with all of this? You don’t even know me. We met not two hours ago.”

“Mrs. Hudson trusts you. And Lestrade,” she pauses and watches John with sharp, intelligent eyes. “Sherlock trusts you.”

John blinks in surprise. Sherlock trusts him?

“Anderson was only here for a year and was a complete idiot,” Molly interrupts his thoughts before he can even start to process that statement. “The team doctor before him was good though. You need to see him, Dr. Watson. He knows more than he’s said.”

“What?” his brow furrows in confusion.

“He didn’t just hang things up and retire like it seemed. He was sick and decided not to come back when he was better because…” she stops short. Molly is leaning forward again, both palms pressing hard on the desk and her body full of tension. She looks at him earnestly, the very weight of the world on her shoulders. “He left because he was poisoned.”

***

Da da daaaa! Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. I’ll see you all next weekend! Much love, Jane

@zentris @toooldforthissh-stuff @shana-movershaker @melmey-fanfics @louise175dk @221b-carefulwhatyouwishfor @technicallywiseoncns @underestimatemethatwillbefun @jhamishw @weirdlittlegoofball @superwholockpotterincamelot @superwholocklmt @ladidragonuniverse @kittenmadnessandtea @srebrnafh @welcometomyharddrive @annecumberbatch @kingdomofbrokenhearts @philliphooper @whodwantmeasaflatmate @gloriascott93 @vvaticancameoss @cow-mow @echosilverwolf @spazzz32 @absentmindedstuff @swissmissing @shuukichan @maeliandmyself @wtgilsa @thetranslucentwallaby @red-pen-revolution @britishaccentfan @dischorde @plasticstrawsmuggler

[parachutingkitten]

Dancing Without You - Ch 4: Ice Cream

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

Whose ready for the title drop? I am! I absolutely had way too much fun writing a party with this select group of ninja for the second half of the chapter. It’s a bit of fun fluff before absolutely everything hits the fan next chapter. 

Happy Reading!

“I’ll take a double scoop of the rocky road.” Cole pointed to the tub through the window as Madelyn began scooping. 

“In a cone, or a cup?” 

“Cup please,” He smiled.

“Anything else?” Madelyn asked, handing him his cup over the counter. 

“I also need a double scoop of cotton candy in a cup as well please.”

I hit Cole on the shoulder as he chuckled. “I can pay for my own ice cream, you know!” I scolded. 

“Chill Lia, I have a bunch of extra cash on my student account that I’ve got to spend by the end of the month,” He explained. “I accidentally added an extra 200 dollars to my account instead of 20 dollars, so... I’m definitely going to be hitting up the student shop later this week.” 

I laughed as Madelyn handed me my cup and moved over to the cash register. 

“That'll be $6.50, just go ahead and swipe your student id.” Madelyn instructed.

Cole did just that as the receipt started printing. “And that’s it! Thanks,” she smiled, handing it to him. 

“Thanks Maddie!” I smiled as we walked out towards the field.

“You know her?” Cole asked. 

“She works there every Wednesday and Friday. Don’t you recognize her?”

���Yeah,” he chuckled. “But I don’t know her name!”

“I don’t know. I think it’s rude not to make an effort,” I shrugged as we sat down on the grass. It was a beautiful sunny day outside for being the middle of fall. It was the perfect temperature outside with the sun peeking out just enough to warm the air. I knew perfect weather like this couldn’t last long though. “So, you ready for midterms?” I asked, eating my first spoonful of ice cream.

“Midterms,” Cole laughed nervously. “Yeah. I have no idea how ready I am, but it’s definitely not ready enough.”

“I’m excited! I mean, in just a few weeks we’ll get our rankings! Aren’t you excited to see where you fall?”

Cole rolled his eyes, looking down at his ice cream, mixing it around with his spoon. “I don’t know. It all seems a little superficial to me. I mean, how can you possibly distill all of someone’s talent down into one number? And then they’re going to take everyone’s number and rank us against each other? Doesn’t that just seem needlessly antagonistic?”

“I mean, most schools have grades. That’s how grading things works,” I shrugged, taking another bite.

“It just doesn’t seem right. Singing and dancing and all this stuff is all just so subjective. It shouldn’t have such a concrete ranking system attached to it.”

“Well… yeah. It’s blunt, but that’s kind of just how performance arts work. They’re competitive, and messy and… harsh.” 

Cole seemed distant. He looked at me for a moment, pensive. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just not really for me.”

“What do you mean not really for you?” I pressed.

“It’s kind of hard to explain,” he sighed. “But it’s like… recently, I’ve been feeling more and more like instead of going to school here, I’m just being trapped here, you know?”

I studied him. He was being honest, but I didn’t exactly know what to make of it. “Well, I know classes can be tough, but everyone knows first year is the hardest. Things will ease up soon. I mean, you might feel like you want to leave, but it’s not like you’re actually considering it, right?”

He paused for a moment, looking out at the skyline. “...maybe. I mean, the more I stay here, the more I feel like I just don’t belong. Like I can’t fit into the mold that everyone wants from me.”

“Cole, you’re a great dancer! If you’re worried about living up to people’s expectations, don’t be-”

“It’s not that.” he shook his head. “I just don’t fit in the system. I can’t do this forever. I can’t live like this.”

I set my ice cream down on the grass, thinking for a moment. “Look, I know this kind of stuff is a lot of work. And I get that it comes easier to me than it does for a lot of people, but you shouldn’t throw away your chance just because it gets hard. I mean, why did you come here in the first place unless you really wanted something out of it, right?”

Cole’s head hung low as he picked at the grass. 

“I… didn’t choose to come here.

My dad did.”

~*~*~*~

“Oh! We’re halfway there! Oh! Livin’ on a prayer!”

They both sounded absolutely terrible at this point in the song, but the energy in the room was undeniable. Lia had pulled out all her snacks, moved the furniture, dug up her mini disco ball, and had started blasting music. She and Jay and were currently caught in an intense impromptu Karaoke battle, Jay singing into the ice cream scooper while Lia had chosen the tv remote as her microphone of choice. 

“Hold on! Hold on!” Jay screamed out, “Air guitar solo!”

“Shred it guys!” I called out, egging them on as they flailed around in the middle of the room.

“Put your heart into it, Jay!” Pixal mocked him. “She’s wiping the floor with you!” 

Pix and I both laughed as the last set of choruses came around. 

“You really weren’t kidding, she’s extremely high energy.” She looked over at me, smiling.

“Yeah, she was a good warm up for dealing with Jay,” I joked, both of us laughing again.

“Take my hand! We’ll make it, I swear!” They were singing into each other’s faces at this point, more screaming than singing. “Oh! Living on a prayer!”

Both of them pumped their fists in the air as the song faded out, Pix and I both cheering them as they bowed. 

“It’s such a good song!” Jay raved.

“It’s such a good song!” Lia tossed the remote onto the couch in the corner, taking a few heavy breaths. 

“Sorry about that Cole, I had a bit of a point to prove,” Jay boasted, walking over to the snack table. “Which flavor did you want?” He looked down at the various tubs of ice cream.

“You know what, I don’t even think I want ice cream anymore,” I shrugged.

“Well, I want some mint chip!” Lia called to him, running over. “I am overheating big time!” She smiled. 

“I know, right?” Jay agreed, dishing some up for her, my eyes drifting.

“You rocked it up there.”

“I’ve done my fair share of lip sync battles, I know how to work a good song,” Jay smirked, handing her the bowl he had scooped.

My eyes had been drawn to the neat orange stone hung around Lia’s neck, shining in the dancing light of the disco ball. “Is that the necklace?” I asked.

“Oh! Yeah,” She lifted it off her neck. “I usually only wear it for good luck, like when I’m auditioning for stuff or what not, but I thought since you’re here it’d be appropriate.”

“I didn’t even think you’d have it still,” I chuckled. 

“What’s this all about?” Pix asked. 

“Oh nothing,” Lia shrugged. “Cole just got me this necklace at the end of first semester.”

Pixal leaned over, looking at it. “It’s a beautiful piece of sunstone,” she admired.

“It’s kind of a long story,” I waved it off, glancing back at Lia, now enjoying her ice cream.

“Hold on,” Jay interrupted, pointing at the other end of the room. “Is that a guitar? Do you play guitar?!”

“Yeah, I play guitar,” She smiled. “I know most of the basics. Guitar, Piano, Violin, I’m learning how to play the flute. I’ll have to play for you sometime, you know, when my voice isn’t so hacked up from song battling you,” She winked.  

“As in like… play and sing?” Jay asked. “You sing too?! As in like, real, legit singing?”

Lia burst out laughing, leaning on my shoulder. “Cole, this idiot wants to know if a Marty Oppenheimer Alumni can sing! What do you think?!”

“Yes, she can sing,” I rolled my eyes at Jay.

“Does that mean you can sing too?” Jay nudged me.

“Oh, you’ve never heard him sing?” Lia smiled, turning to me, wide eyed.

“I can sing, but that doesn’t mean that I do. Not anymore anyways,” I stopped them.

The music began to switch as Lia took my hand. “That’s okay, Cole’s always been much more of a dancer.” She smirked. “Come on, this song is great for swing dance!”

“You know full well, I dropped out right before the swing dance unit,” I put my hands up in surrender.

“I don’t know, that sounds like quite a slim excuse to me,” Pixal teased.

“Oh, so you think you’re better than me?” I challenged her.

“I’m a droid, you don’t think I can’t follow rhythms and memorize a complex series of steps?”

Lia placed down her ice cream bowl and turned triumphantly towards Pixal. “Would you like to dance?”

“Of course!” Pixal smiled in my face as they moved back out towards the center of the room.

“Aw man! She slammed you!” Jay clung to my shoulder, jumping up and down.

They took the floor, moving in unison as the chorus kicked in.

I knew I was in for a ride as we

Swing to the sound

Our feet tap-tappin' and our heartbeats beatin' 

“Dude, you’re not recovering from this,” Jay shook his head, watching as they spun around each other to the beat of the music. 

“Yeah, Pix sure wasn’t bluffing.” 

They had some great synergy too. So concentrated on the moves they were making, anticipating what the other would do next. It had been a while since I’d seen Lia dance. I had forgotten how happy it made her. It breathed life into her in a way nothing else ever quite did. Like dancing was the one thing keeping her alive, like doing anything else would just be unnatural. The way her stray hairs would fly away in the air as she spun, the way her nose would scrunch up when she smiled. Those moments when she felt so in the rhythm that she'd just close her eyes. It was all wrapping in this warm familiar comfort that I had lost to the back of my mind to years now.

Spin 'round and 'round

We got lost in the rhythm, the lights, and the crowd

“You’re so good!” Lia’s excitement caught me out of my daze. Her arms were wrapped around Pixal, who was a bit unsure of what to do.

“You’re quite talented yourself.”

“See, that’s how you dance!” She broke away from Pix, pointing at me. “You just forget how to move your feet after all these years, or what?”

“I’ve kinda been focused on other things,” I rolled my eyes.

“That’s so cool! How did you do that?” Jay marveled at them both. “It looked so choreographed and everything!”

“It just takes practice,” Lia hit him in the shoulder. “It’s really not that hard. It’s first year stuff.”

“I could teach you the basics if you wanted,” Pixal chimed in.

“Hell yes! Let’s do it!” Jay swung around me, back to the middle of the floor, Pixal following him. I leaned back on the snack table watching them. She took his hands, carefully guiding him through some basic motions, both of their eyes glued to their feet. I could feel a smile spread across my face watching Jay fumble at Pixal’s simple instructions.

“Pix is a great dancer! I was actually really surprised.” Lia sat next to me, a half empty glass of water in her hands.

“You know, if I’m being honest, it was kinda weird seeing you dance with someone else,” I chuckled.

“Yeah,” She sighed, hanging her head a bit. “I guess it would be.” Her fingers fiddled with the rim of the glass. I could tell something was off. 

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked, trying to keep the tone light.

She looked up, her eyes distant. “Cole, I’ve been dancing without you for five years now.” She glanced over at me, gauging my reaction.

“Well…” I hesitated. “Yeah, that’s a good thing, right? I wasn’t supposed to be a dancer, staying would have just been a mistake. We both found our calling in life! That’s great!”

She looked at me with a blank stare. “...You don’t get it, do you?”

I looked at her a moment, trying to read what the answer was that she wanted. “Get… What? I mean, what happened, happened. Sure, it sucked to leave you behind, but no one got hurt. I’m back now, what’s the big problem?”

She looked at me for a moment, taking a deep breath. She placed her glass down on the table behind her, her eyes glazing over again as she looked at the floor.

She was thinking.

After a long moment, she closed her eyes, standing up. 

“I think I’m gonna head to bed.” She started towards the back hall as I stood up, trailing her.

“Lia, is everything okay?”

“Cole, please, I can’t do this right now.” She sighed as she continued moving.

“Amelia, talk to me, please. What’s wrong?” I pleaded with her.

I was cut off as she reached her room, shutting the door on me, leaving me a little disoriented on the other side.

“Everything okay back here?” Jay asked, peaking back into the hall.

I turned to look at him, still wondering what exactly had just happened. 

“I… don’t know.”

[kokoro-no-kizuna]

Mobile Friendly Rules (Read Before Interacting)

THESE ARE JUST A FEW GENERAL THINGS I FEEL ARE IMPORTANT TO BE ADDRESSED BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, SO PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THEM.

I know they seem long but some of it is also just information I thought was important for you to know before interacting with me.  And a lot of it is generic stuff too but please still read anyway. 

- ★ First and most important thing is that the mun has a very serious cannibalism trigger, which includes ANY form of people being eaten (including animals or monsters or any such other creatures eating people). (Excluding vampires, as that doesn’t typically involve the eating of human flesh, and rather simply blood itself. Zombies however, are included). As such, please tag all SNK or Hannibal related posts, especially with such things in them, but even the ones without such scenes in them, due to the fact that these two shows/fandoms are the reason I learned I have this trigger, and so the entire thing now can cause my trigger due to association, and memory connection to it. Also I ask that you tag any other shows/fandoms/gifs with such things in them as well. Please and thank you very much. My blacklisted tags are: SNK, Shingeki No Kyojin, Attack On Titan, AoT, tokyo ghoul, tg, Hannibal, Cannibalism, tw: cannibalism, twd, the walking dead, walking dead, zombies, and hunting trophies.  Any form of these (capitalization does not matter, however spaces do) will be caught by my blacklist, so I would appreciate it if you’d use one of these for those posts. Also suggestions for other possible blacklist tags that I may have forgotten are much appreciated. Also as an added note, I will not follow, RP with, or associate in ANY WAY, any blogs that have to do with my triggers. (Multi-muse blogs can sometimes be okay, this more applies to blogs that post SPECIFICALLY about the fandoms that trigger me). If you are a multi-muse blog that has characters from these fandoms, all I ask is that you be sure to tag them with the fandom they are from, with one of the tags in my list, and tag any of the triggers. We’ll be perfectly fine if you do!

- Secondly, I am not here just to to roleplay smut. I WILL do so if I feel like it and if the roleplay goes that direction after building up the relationship, however I am not here for that. I do prefer however if our smut RPs are placed under a read more, if at all possible. I will not RP smut with underage muns however. Underage muses, depending on the age (and if our muses are close to the same age, eg: Both our muses are 16, cuz teenagers do things, as much as we might dislike the fact they do, and no matter how much we wish they wouldn’t) I may still write it. It’s very dependent on the particular muses. I will not RP smut with a muse that is 18 or over, and a muse that is underage. I will not RP smut with muses that are legitimate children (14 and under). However despite my willingness to write it, it doesn’t mean that it will happen if the other mun is not comfortable with. I don’t force it. I don’t need it. I just basically accept that that kind of stuff happens, and it’s a very realistic thing. My nsfw tag is #n;sfw so you are aware, because the original nsfw tag doesn’t work as well anymore.

- ★ I am autistic. I know I don’t seem like it at first, and sometimes it’s hard to tell, however I am, and I also have ADHD, and it does affect the way my mind works with things. Sometimes having things done certain ways makes all the difference between if I can do something or if I can’t. If it sounds like I want to do something, but seem to struggle with figuring out how, please feel free to make suggestions, or start the thing yourself! It’s actually REALLY helpful when I get stuck. My being autistic can also affect who I can roleplay with, and how I roleplay, and how I think. Please keep this in mind, and try to be understanding. If something bothers you, or you don’t understand something, just ask me! I’ll do my best to explain, or fix it.

- Though it may not always seem like it, I am VERY shy and awkward. I’m actually legitimately terrified of new people, and trying to talk to people I haven’t spoken to before, or very much yet, almost makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. If you want to RP with me, please message me! Chances are I’d LOVE to chat with you and RP with you, I’m just too terrified to talk to you.

- I struggle with chronic depression, and sometimes I may disappear for a while if I have a spell that gets particularly bad. Please be patient with me, as I will never forget about you and will always return. Also since it needs to be said, I also have EXTREME, doctor diagnosed anxiety. Sometimes it gets the better of me. Same with depression. Sometimes I have bad days. So I vent, and get frustrated with things. Little things bother me a lot more than they would on a normal day. If you can’t handle that or are going to be a hypocrite about it then please just leave right now. I don’t need your negativity. I have enough unwanted of that in my head as it is, which I combat and fight against every day.

- I am a multiship/multiverse blog, however my muses will likely be very selective with shipping for the time being however I am still happy to discuss ships and will happily consider them. Also a note, that I will ship with multiples of the same character, if the mun of those blogs wishes to ship with me. I find each relationship is different, seeing as each mun plays their character a little differently.

- I will do crossovers sometimes with fandoms I am familiar with. Crossovers always depend on my mood and how well my muse can interact with a character, as well as how well I know the series the character is from. Please forgive me if I choose not to roleplay a specific crossover. I still like you, I promise. If you’re unsure if I know your fandom, just ask! I do know of a lot of fandoms, so there’s a good chance I might.

- I ship based on chemistry. Sometimes I can develop a ship quickly, especially if I know the other muse’s personality well, and know they will mesh well with mine. Other times, a ship takes time for me to develop. Please be understanding and patient with me on this.

- Do NOT under any circumstances, force a ship on me. I am usually quite good at expressing ships I am okay with, and it will usually show in my writing. If you are unsure if I ship something or not, feel free to send me a message and ask me. Most of my characters have their own way of showing interest in someone, however most are usually pretty clear in expressing it in some way. Sending memes for interaction is fine for anyone whether we have interacted or not, and I will usually reply to those, however do not force a ship on me outside of that. If one develops between our characters, then fine. However that is a MUTUAL thing, so I do not take kindly to someone just deciding something is a thing. If you want to try to build one between our characters, then go ahead. Just please show me respect. That is the biggest and most important thing with me, is respect.

- I will write anything from 1 liners to multi-paragraphs when I RP. I usually stick to 1 or two shortish paragraphs, and that tends to fluctuate or shrink depending on how much information is needed to describe a scene. If we start out with a shorter paragraph, and I make a reply a fair bit longer, I will likely revert back to the shorter paragraph again within 1 or 2 replies. However you are welcome to write however you wish, just as long as you can give me something to go on. (A one liner in response to a 10 line paragraph for example, I will struggle to reply to.)

- I do not tolerate anon hate of any kind. Not towards myself, nor towards others. I will respond to it in a way that will make the sender feel rather like an idiot, and I am very smart and capable of doing so, so please be advised of that, if you intend to do so.

- I will RP more violent NSFW RPs, however ONLY as long as I am in the mood for them. Anything triggering will be tagged. The mun of this blog is (well) over 18.

- Apologies, but I absolutely WILL NOT RP with people who RP in first person. It is something I cannot stand and I just will not do it.

- ★ I am better at roleplaying ships with males (BoyxBoy/Yaoi/etc), due to being more familiar with it and having more experience with it ((as I myself am very very very gay, and also trans (which is where the issues with writing about female parts makes me very uncomfortable comes from) )). I may however attempt to ship romantically with female characters, since romantic ships I can do, but please keep in mind it is something I am not as good at or as comfortable with, so if in the end, I decide I am unable to do so, please be understanding of this. (Especially if smut is included in the ship. I cannot smut with female characters, sorry. I am well aware it’s dumb that my brain rebels to it but it doesn’t change the fact that it does.)

- I am slightly fickle about things I can reply to. I try very hard to reply to everything, however one thing I am not good at, is sudden changes in roleplays. As much as I hate to admit it, and try to pretend it isn’t true, and even though I am quite good at managing it most times, I am autistic, (high functioning form of autism) and that is one of the few issues I struggle with the most. If you sense a roleplay is changing directions, please hint at it to me in the tags or something the reply before it does, since even that small little hint can be enough to help keep me from having to drop an RP. Even if you are unsure if it will or not, letting me know that you think it MIGHT possibly happen (since we don’t control our characters) is a huge help to me. This particular issue is the main reason that 95% of my dropped threads end up dropped. And I always feel terrible when it happens, so please help me to get better at this.

- I can be slow sometimes (or often) with asks or replies. This usually happens because of my muse being fickle or me thinking a meme or ask prompt would be fun, however sometimes when I actually get them, my muse decides to just be like NOPE, or my depression kicks up and I lose all motivation. Also sometimes I tend to forget things, or leave stuff in my askbox to reply to later, and then I forget about it or get distracted. If this happens, I apologize. Please try to be understanding of this, since I will NEVER ignore you or your asks on purpose. (The only case where it would be ignored is if it is something stated in my rules that I cannot respond to, that you obviously failed to read or are attempting to do anyway.) I do reblog things with the INTENT to answer EVERYTHING that shows up in my inbox, however my intentions don’t always pan out.

Next topic of discussion.

Concerning OCs and shipping with them:

- I WILL NOT ship my muses with other OCs, unless they are extremely well developed. This is simply because unless I personally can form some form of an an emotional connection/understanding to/of a character, my own muse will be unable to do so as well.

- I am also very picky with RPing with other OCs, because of the same reason stated above. I will however roleplay with them sometimes, and do not in any way dislike them. I rather love OCs, and the diversity and color they bring to fandoms, and I actually have lots of OCs of my own for different fandoms, I just cannot always connect to them, and in those cases, I will not be able to roleplay with them. I apologize. HOWEVER. If possible, I will happily do platonic RPs with OCs that my muses happen to click with.The types of characters/OCs I am usually unable to roleplay with, are the following, which includes a list of reasons why.

- ★ OCs that are not connected to any fandom in particular/Multifandom OCs. Basically as I like to call them, floaters or drifters. I may attempt to roleplay with these. It can still be iffy, because my brain can sometimes make stuff more difficult than it actually is or needs to be, and it depends on each particular OC, but as I have recently been developing a few fandomless OCs myself, I find my understanding of them has grown a bit. That said, sometimes I need to be able to connect them with something, as each fandom has a specific world to them. I need a consistent, solid world anchor to be able to understand the character, which drifters don’t have, so I can struggle to RP with them. I’m willing to try though! I believe this issue is connected to my being autistic, since certain things my brain just refuses to understand unless it is worded a certain way or done a certain way.

- OCs from fandoms I am unfamiliar with. If I don’t know what sort of world/background your character comes from, it leaves me guessing too much and confused. I have attempted to roleplay with them anyway in the past and it just doesn’t work.

- ★ Self insert OCs. Really. Please just no. I cannot stand self inserts above all else other than Shipper OCs. Admittedly, there are a rare few good ones out there. (And those are fine). However those tend to be very few and far between, and 98% of them tend to fall into the not so good category to put it nicely, and I just.. I can’t do it. There is nothing else to say to this except just NO. I apologize for this, however I just can’t. Also, this applies to FULLY self inserts. This does not apply to characters that simply share some traits with you, as often we roleplay a character because we can connect to them somehow.

- Canon Genderbends (there are exceptions sometimes with these). This subject is a touchy one, since my mind is very rigid unfortunately when it comes to how I view them. This might stem from my own personal gender struggle (as I am trans and FtM), however genderbends have always been something I have a lot of issues with, and so 98% of the time, I will not RP with them because I have to fight my mind to reply. Temporary genderswap M!A’s however, when handled properly, are no issue for me, and in such cases I will happily roleplay with them.

- OCs with very little backstory and information, or with a confusing one, or even with none at all. In essence, poorly made OCs. I need info to RP with you. At least seriously. So sorry. I need to be able to understand your character at least a little, since I don’t do good with “lets play a guessing game” or “I literally have no idea what I’m doing” or “what the hell is going on” sort of RPs, and I have never been good at them, and so I need clear, concise information on your character.

- Shipper OCs. The type of character I hate more than any other. If you made your OC just so you could ship with a bunch of people and that is the only purpose for their existence, do not even talk to me, or approach my character. Don’t even try. I literally cannot stand these types, and they fall right up there with my hatred of self inserts. So sorry. But just no. This doesn’t mean I ship shame if your muse happens to end up in lots of ships. That’s fine. It happens. I know the feeling when muses just click with lots of other muses. Sometimes it’s like that. But if their ONLY purpose for existing, is just so you can ship with endless characters, please go away right now.

- Canonically unknown family member OCs. Whether it’s a sibling for my character or for someone else’s that was never mentioned in canon, I just can’t. (If you want to RP a family member of my character that I have mentioned in my character’s info, please ask me beforehand as I usually have an idea already of what their family member is like, but usually I will be okay with that as long as you ask me first before just going ahead and doing it.) I’ve never been able to RP with them, for a multitude of reasons, one of the main being they often end up reminding me of self inserts or genderbends. I have been unsuccessful at breaking this way of thinking towards them despite attempting to many times, and so I just cannot do it, personally. I am sorry.

Those are all the ones I can think of right now. I am very sorry to anyone who has one of these and wants to RP with me, however I simply cannot do it, personally. I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there though who would love to RP with you even though I cannot, and just because I will not RP with you doesn’t mean I dislike you or your character. I’d be happy to still be friends with you, I just won’t be able to RP with you. I’m someone who needs to be able to connect to the character I am roleplaying with on at least SOME level, for my character to be able to connect to them as well, so if I am unable to do that then I am unable to roleplay with them. (This can include as well, the WAY someone roleplays, since if there is no emotion or thought or description in replies, it gives me nothing to go on and connect to, and leaves me unable to respond, even if I WANT to RP with you.)

★ I hate to have to do this, however I have had A LOT of trouble with people not reading and following my rules in the past, and or speaking about or talking about/not tagging my major trigger, so if you have read my rules, please inbox or IM me with “Catshark”.  I ask this of people because it also helps a lot with my anxiety, and keeps me from wondering and worrying in the back of my mind if I might actually get triggered by something. I know it can be tedious to do this extra step, and I hate that I even had to add this step in the first place, however after years of roleplaying, and dealing with people, it became necessary due to several bad past experiences in tumblr fandoms. It was not added on a whim, so please take the time to do so.

There may be more added to this later if I think of something. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[the-hidden-village]

Desert Traveler

I had an idea for a one off where you get lost in the desert, and Red finds you. Lemme know if you like it or not, or if you want me continue!

----

While traveling the desert, you run out of water, and pass out from dehydration. Luckily for you, another person was there to take care of you.

Water splashes your face as you come to, a large figure standing over you. You hear a whisper in your ear. "Are you alright? Are you okay?" The voice causes you to sit upright, taking you out of the sleepiness and into the moment. "Wha-What happened?!" The figure leaned back, now speaking normally. "Ah, sorry to scare you. I thought you might have been lost there for a second..." You then look over him, noticing that he towered over you, with his hair pulled back and wearing loose clothing, he made quite the intimidating presence. But one thing stuck out: where was his gem cut? It wasn't visible anywhere. But you tried to be polite anyways. "Thank you for saving me. You'd think that carrying a single jug of water would be enough, but apparently not, I guess." The gem shrugged. "It's happened a few times before. How I met my two friends. But besides that, you got lost in the desert pretty easily. I'm just glad the vultures didn't get ya." Nodding, you replied. "Thank you, again. But, I would like to know the name of my savior, if you don't mind." Lending a hand to you, you gather your belongings, and get up on your feet, continuing the conversation. "Name's Red." Smiling, you shake his hand. "Thank you, Red. But, what are you doing out here? Most gems don't like the desert." Seeing the thirst in your eyes, the gem offered the flask of water from before, offering it to you. You take it without hesitation, drinking the water in large gulps. He chuckled, mildly entertained at how you drunk. "For me and my friends? We live out here, by the nearby creek. Got a hidden cabin there." Finishing, you nodded and handed him back the flask. "But enough about me. What's a pretty gem like you doing out here by yourself? You could easily get yourself robbed, friend."

 Shrugging, you sighed. "I can handle myself. This pretty little gem does have a few tricks up her sleeve. As for where I'm going..." You point towards the sand covered path behind you. "I'm heading to Shinook. I'm egging to visit their library!" Red laughed. "Oh? The big city? Dreaming big, aren't we?" Puffing your cheeks, humphed. "I don't think it's a dream. In fact, I'm going to head there right now." An idea sparked in the back of your mind, and you blurted it out, without really considering what you were saying. "Why don't you come with me to the library? I'm sure you'd be a welcome guest, having saved me." The gem shook his head. "No, no, I prefer to stay out of the cities...I don't think they'd want something like me there, ha." He smiled with a tinge of sadness in his eyes, quickly changing the subject. 

"You said that you were going to the library in Shinook. What for?" Your eyes brighten, now having reaching the topic of why you were in the desert in the first place. "Ah! Well, you see, I'm usually a mapmaker, but studying about historical war figures is my past time. I was given a grant to go on a month's vacation, so I thought I'd take a look at the one war figure that's never had a word written about him, but is a legend in the books." Red tilted his head in curiosity, now intrigued at what he was hearing. "And who might that be?" Taking out your satchel, you pull out a big book of historical recallings. "This book's about every single war hero and legend known to gemkind. But there's no mention of the Red Rabbit. My goal is to reach Shinook's library, to see if there's anything on him. The closest thing that does come to mentioning him is the War Diamond's song. Supposedly, he himself was a War Diamond, so I'm wondering if I can find the song and play it, so I can see if he's still out there." Red quickly stiffened. "Why would you want to still see if he's out there? Perhaps he wants to be forgotten." You raised an eyebrow. Why would a legend like him want to be forgotten, just another gem lost to time's touch? It didn't make sense. "Look, I've come all this way to finally learn about this legend, and I don't need some random dude telling me to stay away and not take a look at what could be one of history's greatest discoveries of all time. Thanks for helping me, but I really should be on my way." 

Getting up from the ground, you start to walk away, and you can hear Red calling for you. "Stop. What you're doing is a fruitless endeavor. You'll find nothing in Shinook. Quit wasting your time." Just who was this guy to tell you what to do? You continue to walk forward, until your hand was grabbed by him. "What the? For the last time, I'm going to Shinook. What do you mean I'll find something there? Have you done any research yourself?" You become irritated. "I'm assuming not, so if you'll excuse me-" Tugging away, Red keeps his iron grip on your hand. "Actually, I know everything about him." You freeze while still looking away. "And how's that?"

He sighed, exasperated. "Because I'm the Red Rabbit."

Whipping around, your eyes widen in not only shock, but in awe and fear.  "No, there's no way. There's no way. Why would a legend like the Red Rabbit want to be out in the middle of buttfuck nowhere in the desert?!" He lets go of your hand, and undoes his ponytail, releasing his hair, and revealing two gem cuts at the end of a pair of floppy ears, each sliced in half. "I'll prove it. You said there's no written information on the guy, right? Then what do you know of when it comes to this legend?" You begin to falter in your speech, your entire mission starting to unravel. There was no way. Yet..." There were two gems, each sliced in half...from a pair of twin Red Diamonds...each gem slice at the end of a rabbit's ear." Red took a step closer, and you begin to hesitate. "And what else? You know of the rest." Nodding, you continued, unsure of what was going to happen next. "His mere presence brought fear, and all who opposed him...fell before him." Now up close and person, he breathes in your ear. "And what was the third one?" You fall to your knees, now realizing what you had just found. You had found him. You'd found the one legend no other person could find? "He had a saying...the universe has a plan for everyone..." Getting down to his knees, he leaned over you. "And the universe has decided that I must be found...by a mapmaker with a passion for war history." Your lips were just barely inches away from each other, and you could feel your heart about to fly out of your chest. He pulls away, and offers a hand, narrowing his eyes. "No one has sent you?" You slowly shake your head. "N-No, no one has sent me...like I said, I used my vacation time to come all the way out here..." Hesitantly taking his hand, you're pulled up and get a footing on the ground again. Looking around, the gem gestures for you to follow him. "We're not safe out here. Follow me. And...I never got your name, stranger."

"Oh, my name is ____." He made the same beckoning gesture. "Then, ____, follow me. You'll get your answers."

[thelostandforgottenangel]

~ Until You Come Back ~

TMNT Leonardo one-shot

Okay please be kind guys because this is officially my first fanfic since the accident and it’s probably some of the worst I’ve done but it was done in 30 minutes after watching a video that made me cry I needed to do something cute and - well we got this

@bloody-hands-pure-hearts1​ @lonelyheart-clubband​ @fyreball66​ @betelgeusessonajblog​ @midnight-chocolate-turtle​ and everyone who loves to read my horrible little stories 

((Do not own these Pictures))

He had been gone for too long. Her best friend in the whole world had been gone for three long years

After New York had celebrated their cities unseen heroes officially giving them credit and bringing the mutants into the light they were finally accepted by many people, some had a hard time accepting them but in the end the turtles had been the unseen heroes and saviors of New York City who could not just warm up to four giant sweet guys being praised around the city. They had left for a month to do training upstate with the military as part of their coming out to the world and the moment they got back it realized while they weren’t protecting the city at night the world had a need for them in the light.

Donatello now worked for the police tech center always upgrading their systems while Raphael and Mikey had on more then one occasion shadowed the swat team on dangerous jobs always the ones to go in first reducing fatalities in the departments officers but the biggest shock was when Leonardo had been contracted by the army to help train their special ops soldiers around the world

The last time she had seen the oldest turtle he had been standing in a camouflaged uniform customized to fit his larger body and around his shell perfectly and his swords on a special pack on the other side of a fence boarding a plane, he had waved to his family but couldn’t meet her eyes as she stood there stone faced not going to show how much it hurt to see him leaving but the moment she could move she ran for it so he wouldn’t see her heart breaking

This was a great opportunity for the leader and if she voiced her hatred of him leaving she knew he wouldn’t go even if she could see this was something he so wanted and after Mikey’s little break down over his oldest brother leaving and her pushing him to go she couldn’t just beg him not too – but he was leaving at the most important time in her life so far

She was graduating in a month then starting college something he had encouraged her to do

She walked across the stage without her family to see they were busy with the new life they had and had forgotten, a week later she had packed up her bags and left the city for the state university she had been accepted too almost laughing when six weeks later Donnie had called her in a panic upon realizing she was gone

They had been so consumed in their jobs she had went unnoticed until they had shown up to her place to find she was gone and her apartment was empty, on top of that with Leo leaving Splinter had named Raphael and Donnie the new leaders since he felt both of them were ready to stand in until Leonardo returned home

It was hard, she had no contact with the blue masked ninja of her own choice but it wasn’t like he had the time to call her but in her heart the woman knew if she saw him and couldn’t reach out to touch him it would have killed her, his job was important she could wait until he was back home, it was rare enough for the guys to hear from him why interrupt their time with her petty crush.

Afterwards she stayed busy and rarely left campus making her unavailable to them as well the few times they had offered to come see her scared the second she saw one of her friends she would break down

Of course they understood as their voicemails had repeatedly reminded her how could they not – she had watched her world walk away when she needed him, after a few months they hadn’t tried to call her, she called a few times once it got too much but all she got was voicemail and no call backs

Sleepless nights and extra classes, mountains of homework and projects she had wished Donnie could have helped her with, and a small coffee addiction that made her genius friends look like normal here she stood in line with the most uncomfortable high heels and a tight blue dress she had found that reminded her of his eyes

The class representative gave his speech that had the people there in tears from laughter looking out seeing the thousands of family’s that had come out to see their graduates walk but as her eyes searched the seats she had bought she was less them shocked to see all of them empty

Her family had disowned her the day they found out that not only was she friends with the turtles but in love with the oldest of the males, they threw her out of her family home and moved out of state like she was their biggest shame in the world but – she had thought just maybe her other family would have been there

She didn’t see Master Splinter, Raph, Don, or Mikey anywhere but she knew they had been sent invitations months early, oh but she could understand them not showing up they were busy, they had lives and jobs that from the outside looked like they were living it big, newspaper articles that decorated her walls and news stories she had recorded showed the guys were doing great beyond somebody like her they had to have forgotten her by now

If not she could just send them the video later

Time passed by slowly as her classmates were called one by one the crowd cheering for them so loudly the air was vibrating around them; finally she stood at the front listening as they listed off every achievement she had mastered top of her class with honors, several certificates and awards and a full nursing degree but as she started to walk across there were no cheers, nobody said a word giving her an uncomfortable silence she hadn’t had all day making her feel like the biggest failure

All those accomplishments and nobody to see it that cared

She was watching the ground her head held low as she got halfway before somebody whistled and whooped loudly followed by clapping

“Go Baby girl! We knew you could do it!”

Her eyes came up fast and landed on four figures standing next to the headmaster her breath leaving her as she looked at them seeing her family standing there looking so handsome and dressed up making her freeze tears welling up in her eyes moving forward fast hugging them in shock when they rushed her and again once she had her diploma laughing as Mikey kissed her head making the crowd clap as they egged others to show her some love

“Now I’d love to stop here and give this young lady just a moment longer because today her family is here to watch her get this diploma and I think we can see she worked hard for it, to be here at this moment with a full record and a job guarantee to any hospital she chooses but today we are saddened to see somebody is missing and we tried to call him on the video chat his brother brought but unfortunately he was un available to talk. You see her biggest supporter serves overseas and I’m sure if he was here today he would be just as proud of her as we all are!”

She was clinging to Splinter who kept telling her how proud he was of her giggling as she got several kisses and hugs from the guys as she tried to wipe away her tears before somebody started shouting and clapping over everyone with a whistle making her look up at the ‘That’s my girl!’ unsure what to think upon seeing a large figure coming down the aisle in a dress uniform walking so proudly towards the front holding a bouquet of roses taking off his hat showing in full leaf green skin and a blue mask moving forward as the crowd roared to life hearing the headmaster over the speakers

“Please put your hands together for returning Specialist Sargent Leonardo Hamato who had just made it home from completing his 40 month tour of duty across the world to see this graduation”

She stood there crying out sure she was dreaming when she felt Raph grab her before she could hit the ground sobbing “Oh my...” before anyone could help her she had pulled up her gown kicking her heels off right there jumping off the stage then bolted down the aisle towards him as fast as she could run “LEO!!!” he leaned down a little laughing as she jumped into his open arms feeling his grip tightening around her as she cried into his neck hugging him tightly repeating his name over and over as he held her

She had no idea how long they stayed like that but all too soon she pulled away wiping her face trying to stop the tears looking up as he chuckled handing the flowers to the young woman as he pulled her face up gently wiping away her tears whispering softly “You look so beautiful – I almost forgot just how much I loved your hugs” his words hadn’t even reached her as he cupped her cheeks leaning down kissing her deeply without any warning barely parting their lips “God I’m so sorry” the woman smiled shaking her head as she pulled him back returning the kiss to the leader with all the passion she had, her arms went around his neck as he pulled her against his chest kissing her like he had wished he had done before leaving. The way he had dreamed of for all those months of missing his beauty

Everything continued around them, his brothers were making cat calls and mocking them but she was too busy welcoming her soldier home for either of them to care