#I use discord because it's just better | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

irosenpinetree · 2 years ago

Text

Looking for roleplay, for a decent rper who won't mind angst, we can also not do angst too. 21. Name's Devin. Might have known me as Liam before but I changed it. I'm down for m&m rp, but I won't mind m&f rp if I can play a guy majority of the time. I'm a long term roleplayer. I really love colds but I'm okay with allergies too. Some roleplays don't have to include sneeze. I'm not particularly into NSFW but I have limitations.

I am head for heels over chest heaves, buildups especially exaggerated comical ones, a bit of tail tickling noses, feather tickling noses mostly a feather duster used, stuck sneezes, long drawn out sneezes, handkerchief sneezes, sneezing into someone's hand, half stifled sneezes, hair tickling, nostril flares and twitching....etc. Also I don't really prefer mess but I don't mind a little as well. I can do humans or supernatural creatures. My DMs on discord Senburst Ry (if that doesn't work then seinrylan) are always open for any ideas one might have. Sorry but I don't role play here. Hopefully one of you guys are intrigued by this.

#snz #snz kink #snzblr #angsty #im bored so why not #sneeze kink #i just want attention lol #oc rp #roleplay #been awhile since i uploaded anything....hello #I use discord because it's just better

6 notes · View notes

outlying-hyppocrate · 15 days ago

Text

i have officially returned. ask me anything.

#random thoughts #i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that #i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts #not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered #so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie #and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.

11 notes · View notes

icewindandboringhorror · 1 month ago

Text

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting #with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though #you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would #think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page #disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol #THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended #(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever #so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with #no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know #EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably #It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end #point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc #I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc #rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is #not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school #but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia #and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like #the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot #or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are #familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them #Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol

12 notes · View notes

little-de-vil · 26 days ago

Text

How we feeling in this fine SOTR day, fam?

Because I’m feeling…something for sure!

#the cover sure is…something #the blurb is fine (better than the cover)#as always The Hunger Games fandom continues to overthink things #or at least my little friend group in the discord.#I have no doubt that the book will be great in terms of content!#for right now… The silence is loud #I just know that this could’ve been so much better in a myriad of facets.#because this is just going to be the same thing that we started with #The only thing that will be new to us are a few characters and possibly a place name and that’s it.#also the more that I think about it the more hideous the cover becomes #and the blurb as well. This doesn’t give us anything new!#The blurb literally tells us everything that we already know from Everlark watching his games in catching fire #nothing fun or exciting.#this could’ve been so much better! Give us more! I’m bored and sad and disappointed!#me #my post #the hunger games #thg #sunrise on the reaping #SOTR

10 notes · View notes

bmpmp3 · 1 month ago

Text

i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server

#or even video or audio calls are becoming hard for me rn. i used to be better at this #i used to be sooo good at talking to people online. maybe. or maybe not actually #now that i think about it ive always been a little outside of everything in both irl and online communities ive been in #you know i was part of the mods for a deviantart species a long time ago. i was pretty bad at my job i was always too slow to actually mod #and one day i came home from school and like the entire modbase imploded because of drama on a discord or smth they had that i wasnt in LOL #tbh i was a bit older than all of them and busy with final year of highschool stuff so i wasnt super present. i think they just had me on #because while i wasnt particularly popular as an artist i did have some eyecatching polish on my art. but it was wild i was like #whats going on. who are you people. where am i. i have to apply to ouac rn i dont know whats happening #wait random ass deviantart drama i was vaguely adjacent to but still dont really know what happened aside. i would like to chat more #i think the easiest way to converse with me is commenting on my posts like theyre forum threads. or dming me. sometimes #im so bad with group chats. especially if they have multiple channels. the only group chat ive stuck with is a tiny one with like #two other friends and we just write thoughts and about our day and pictures of animals and whatever #i get confused and scared in discords. i get so confused and scared #i used to be okay with discord calls but even with that ive been struggling. am i scared of the computer #am i scared of the computer. the machine. whats happening

9 notes · View notes

spacebubblehomebase · 2 months ago

Note

hi, just letting you know that ahmed 90s-ghost doesn't verify fundraisers anymore! he quit after it got too overwhelming, so you shouldn't @ him asking him to. you can probably find the post about it by searching his blog.

Thanks for letting me know, Anon...

I get it... I REALLY do.

I understand. Y'know I used to be so excited to get Asks. It means someone wants to talk about art and silly cartoon characters with me. But now all I feel is dread. Not because I don't want to help, but because the help I give is never enough. I used to privately mesage back to those Asks, but one became 6 became 10 to... Well. I can't donate. Euros and dollars are valued a lot higher here, thus the opposite is also true. The value of our money is but a paltry bread's worth and even if I split it in crumbs, with the amount of people who approach me for help, it'll soon run dry, but I'm just a student who still rely on my parents financially. So I thought I'd share instead, but that quickly got out of hand. I post one thing and get multiple asks by the HOUR. I already had to apologize for struggling to meet demands before and I only had 3 or 6 rare to come-by short Asks about art. Now I have a hundred and counting I have to check personally. I didn't want to admit it, but I've also long been overwhelmed. I just didn't feel like I had the right to say so. I still don't. But the truth is, anyone can say they're verified too, which is terrible because not only will I be partially responsible for my followers who got scammed by bots or scumbags who take advantage of those at war with fake fundraisers, but even worse is that the help and money may not even reach those who actually need it. I thought I would be fine the first time. I don't really like posting too much about our depressing reality or watching news in general because my account was supposed to be a "safe SPACE" and a "nice little BUBBLE" for us to be happy and escape for awhile, so I didn'tmthink much about rebloggingit at first. I only wanted to help. But it just kept going and I got swept away. There's so many of them, but there's only one of me and I've been spiraling lately. So for now, I will no longer take any Asks about this subject (which I always avoid mentioning directly because the algorithm has it out for putting you guys down and I wanted you all to make it so I didn't tag those reblogs with such). I'll still take Asks provided they're related to my actual content and of course I'll still support raising awareness for Pal est ine, yet I also get it if this may appear selfish to some of you. I tried. I really did. But if you'd rather ignore, unfollow, or block me for this decision, I understand. I'm just sorry it had to come to this and that I wasn't strong enough to help more. -Bubs.

#I'm so very sorry #asks #thank you for your hard work 90s-ghost #I hope you're doing better now #war serves no one #I know a lot of people needs help #but I can't keep up with the demand anymore #I'm feeling burned out and college just started back up again #I know I'm lucky to live the life that I do and I shouldn't get to complain #but I've been spiraling lately cause it's a thankless job that reminds me quick and repeatedly that I can't save everyone #I'm sorry for the onslaught of negativity from me lately #this wasn't what I made my account for #but I'll be back to making more content sooner than you think #it makes me happy and now I REALLY need that escape too #I know I'm a coward who's likely dooming people #I'm disappointed in me too #feel free to unfollow me #but never forget to support those families in need #they're just desperate to live like the rest of us #and please don't harass anyone because of this #that's the LAST thing I want to happen #I want to help them too but I'm stretched thin here #one person can't do this all on their own #so let's support each other instead and unite for this cause #I don't want this war. I don't want this discord.#the ones who does are monsters #people's lives are at stake and even if I barely helped #the same cannot be said if the lot of us were to do our part #please help these victims of war #but let's not forget we're not on our own.

15 notes · View notes

thehealingsystem · 8 months ago

Text

another day another reminder that twitter still very much actively hates queer people with unconventional identities

#can y'all like leave us the hell alone for TWO SECONDS #idk much about what regretevator even is but yes this is about that #banning mentions of us in your discord spreading hate against us then later deleting it because you're a coward about it #I think it'll be a long while till I go back to using sites like twitter and discord and engaging with fandom communities #because you people do shit like this #I literally felt constantly unsafe trying to just have fun with people who share my interests #and I thought we were finally starting to get better about this #nope still mass bullying towards fucking. teenage trans people calling themselves lesboys or some shit #get a grip #regretevator #tw queerphobia #tw exclusionism #lesboy

12 notes · View notes

nothing-nothing454545 · 2 months ago

Text

no, i dont think im obligated to still small talk an hour into my meet up with a friend group ive been a part of for 2 years, and i dont think im overreacting or showing a lack of loyalty when im unsatisfied with such a conversation. As someone who hates small talk, that friend group isn't for me, and i get nothing from it, and i will choose not to feel like a weirdo (derogatory) or a traitor (..because we didn't promise each other we'd be together forever afaik), for being unsatisfied and leaving. ive shown them affection (that i didnt fully feel) for as long as i could

#switching to small talk bc i dont vibe with them is something my mom suggested #i know they feel the same but even then i think it feels bad to suddenly end it.#probably bc i dont want them to see how bad id treat them if we werent friends. i dont want them to hate me even more #but also i have to come to terms with the fact i will have no friend group if things go this way #because i dont talk to ppl and better ppl wont magically materialise in my dms #or on the lone forest bench i sit on when biking or at the rpg sessions i go to. bc people there are never my type #ppl on the bench are too rich and sporty and ppl on the rpg are too sigma male #im pretty much only hoping ill meet people in college or at art classes irl. or a convention but i didnt even have time to go this year #i should start meeting ppl online but if i dont show my face (online games) it usually doesnt go anywhere #and if i do show my face (tinder) and i mess up (like you do on tinder which is a risky place)#im losing the limited queer people in my city forever. im using up a very finite resource #i could go to meet ppl on tumblr but we will never go to voice call bc its not what you do here #conclusion: what i should do is join more random fandom discords thru tumblr and wait til theyre on call #(<- option A.)#or wait til im in some classes and join a discord with people from my school but not my class #(<- option B.)#however i dont even want to talk to people #fuck people. im tired of people #theres a number of ways i could make friends but i hate everyone i meet and am constantly pissed off and dissatisfied #i may just be aplatonic #its hard to come to terms with

3 notes · View notes

ebonytails · 4 months ago

Text

Would you guys be interested in an art discord server with me? Specifically, i’ve been given the idea every now and then to run my own discord server where i get to just focus on sharing my art, especially making it like. Patron/kofi-member accessed for at least some channels

Have you guys been a part of discord servers like these that are focusing on other people’s art? Have you been a part of discord servers that are paid access?? Do you have suggestions etc? Or dislikes?

Ive been thinking that maybe I can use it as a place to 1) host art streams (since my internet lags heavily on picarto & twitch, but not discord), 2) show off wips in real time instead of having to choose between tumblr, twitter, insta, tiktok, etc) at the very least

For maybe $3-5 a month, what would YOU want to see as paid options, or what would you be willing to pay for?

#do you have any other suggestions on what i can offer for patreon/kofi-memberships related to discord?#i think the most interesting to me would be the streaming part #we’ve been wanting to stream for the LONGEST time but our internet is not strong enough to cater to twitch and picarto etc #but discord’s streaming services are actually way better and has less lag/delay #so that would make it easier for us to stream #we also love organizing disocrd servers so if any of you have cool or fun ideas i can try to implement them best i can #we just want to open a patreon (or something like it) again because of many reasons #you guys could watch us stream commissions and design pride animals in real time #or literally anything else #maybe a paid access channel could be request streams………… much to think abt #would that be fun ??#maybe we could do art c;asses together…#im not a professional but we could all stream together and iwe can cheer each other on lol #less of a class and more of a peer review thing #mod stuff

6 notes · View notes

stillcominback · 9 months ago

Text

🎀 🎀 🎀

#hi friends!#local cryptid laurel making a quick little dash appearance just to check in tbh 💗💗💗#miss you all and writing loads but life continues to be a lot lol 😮‍💨#still job hunting which has been really rough in general but also mentally #then raising my daughter aka puppy who I love but takes a lot of my time and energy 🐶#BUUUUUUT a couple things!#1 - i’m better at checking into discord these days so if you would like to plot/write there and/or make servers to do so I would LOVE THAT #2 - RE: depressing job search - I’m working on opening up my own small shop!!#I’ll be starting with a collection inspired by The Traitors aka one of my fave shows atm #but will be doing all kinds of designs going forward!#I’ll drop more info here once we officially ✨launch✨#but I would love to get more followers on our IG page and just get some hype/interest going!#so if anyone wants to check us out to see what’s to come (soon)! the IG is sonichedesigns #(and the website is thatsoniche but it’s not fully opened yet!)#I’m nervous but excited because I’ve always wanted to do something like this but never really had the time or creative/mental energy #so maybe the stars are aligning who knows!#LOVE YOU ALL and hope to catch you on discord at least!#(again not abandoning tumblr or rp at all! just don’t have much time for it so my blogs are basically for aesthetic things and w/e I have #time for haha 🤪💗 but discord I would love to do more writing and stuff so hmu or ask for my handle! MWAH!)#💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

5 notes · View notes

l0rd-0f-c0ws · 2 months ago

Text

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much #anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events #ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people #or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know #ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD #welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on #surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like #yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part #to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably #not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day #yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name #this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this #and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it #and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly #but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me #or shown me much physical affection #my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on #but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while #ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit #i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart #then getting some footing #then it falling apart again #okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD #hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good #damn i gotta use that more #welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol

2 notes · View notes

licorishh · 1 year ago

Text

Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.

They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.

Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.

#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :')#but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a #or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON #and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship #it's give and take #and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own?#like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own #i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know?#i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice #then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work #i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life #and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things)#only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it #that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to #like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad.#like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight #i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix #so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///”#because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT”#like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own #so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job #emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not.#tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts #and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone #don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know #just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them #emotional regulation is attractive~~~#society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir #sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility #and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it

11 notes · View notes

arsenicflame · 2 months ago

Text

ok does anyone know anything about laptops & is willing to impart their wisdom on me. i am looking i think at the lenovo legions but. i honestly have no clue

#honestly i mostly use my laptop for watching youtube #but i play some games while on discord with friends. mostly just minecraft tho. thats probably the hardest it needs to handle #oh uncharted 4. thatd be nice #also like. ive been doing some intensive things to do with videos & shit recently. on gimp & photoshop and i would like whatever i need to #handle that. because adding in a bunch of layers kills my current laptop #(the errors scratch disk so.... memory?)#nyxtalks #all i know is. bigger number is better. right?#but also ive seen reviews saying like. bigger numbers only good if it can cool it. also i think my budget only extends up to 4070 anyway #and by budget i mean. how much i can force myself to spend on something before i cry #i want a laptop thatll last me at minimum 6 years. minimum.

6 notes · View notes

sopranoentravesti · 6 months ago

Text

Sorry to be a member of the intelligentsia on main, but I’m really not interested in hearing your takes on psychology or neuroscience when you get all your information from YouTube videos and refuse to read a book or a paper on whatever your chosen topic du jour is

#I am not going to bother correcting you because you’ve been hostile to it previously #this is not a tumblr specific thing btw this is actually more connected to a person on discord #I notably am not an expert either — I just work as a research program coordinator at a medical institution but I know my limits #I am however applying to PhDs in this field and also read scientific papers about multiple areas in the field #although I’m better equipped to talk to you about neuropsychological testing #ocd #pediatric feeding disorders #autism #and opioid use disorder #because in addition to having ocd and autism #I wrote my undergrad thesis using data from the ABCD study on the neurocognitive correlates of ocd #worked with autistic kids and in a pediatric feeding disorder unit for several years #and currently work in an opioid research lab on both inpatient and outpatient studies #and have contributed to papers on ocd #Like I have very little business talking about antisocial personality disorder because I only read some beyond what we covered in classes #and have only seen it in a few participants #but I usually will say that #tag rant

6 notes · View notes

sleepyhomosexual · 7 months ago

Text

starting to feel bad about myself. i don't like the way i look. i'm feeling sad. my feelings are so overwhelming. i'm being scheduled for 7 hours of work and what if i can't handle that. life is moving so slow and so fast. i'm wasting my life it feels like. i'm just wasting everything

#i'm feeling so so bad right now #sleep better help because i don't know what else can and i'm really needing something in life to be good right now #i just removed someone on discord. we used to talk all the time. there responses became shorter. and then shorter. and then they stopped #talking to me. in a way it was freeing to let them go. it just didn't work out.#life is so bland sometimes. so sad.

2 notes · View notes

infizero · 2 years ago

Text

kills you kills you kills you kills you kills yo

#listening to the audio on the page again gawdddd i feel ill im gonna throw up #kris' frenzied discordant playing. you usually play the piano a bit more beautifully. they didnt have a piano at their house #they loved to play the piano and there was no piano in the house there was no keyboard in the house nothing #and now their hands' movements are not their own their fingers uselessly mash against the keys in the clumsy frustrated way #they cant even do the one thing they were good at anymore. you usually play the piano and bit more beautifully #and then noelle listening in from the other room. there were times when i wasnt even sure if we were friends. maybe they werent thinking #about me at all. we're friends. we're something else. we havent hung out in so long but i know how you like your eggs. what your favorite #color has been throughout the years. the first movie you cried to. i know you better than anyone. i dont know you at all #your voice isnt your own. what happened to your voice? what happened to the beautiful music you made? what happened to you?#why are you telling me to do these unspeakable things? why am i going along with it? (we're getting stronger) why do i let the blood drip #down my finger from the ring you slipped onto it? (we're something else) what happened to us?#we used to play tag in your backyard. there's blood on my hands because of you. i dont know whats happened to you and i cant stop it #maybe they weren't thinking about me at all #you usually play the piano a bit more beautifully #but when i closed my eyes it felt like a concert just for me #i need a drink #serena.txt

27 notes · View notes