#I understand why people take things down
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captainsparklefingers · 7 months ago
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There truly is nothing sadder than going into your ao3 faves, sorting them in update order, going to the last page, and seeing nothing but 'This has been deleted, sorry!'.
I guess not remembering what those stories were and what you lost could either be good or bad, in a way.
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puppppppppy · 10 months ago
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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disastergenius · 10 months ago
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by far the worst take i've seen so far post-ep19 of Junior Year is that having a week-by-week live play would have allowed fans to essentially influence the direction of the story in the way they want it to go and that would have resulted in the cast being more sympathetic to the Ratgrinders (ie getting them a redemption arc)
why do you feel the need to try and control this story? YOU ARE NOT THE ONE TELLING IT. if you want to tell a story please go write your own, or go write fanfiction to cope or whatever but you don't get to say that the players are telling the story wrong when it's their story they are telling
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quiveringdeer · 4 months ago
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Doomscrolling as one does and this video hit so hard! And then this comment!!
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ahalliance · 5 months ago
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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how#he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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good-beanswrites · 5 months ago
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In your Myosotis headcanon, where's Es in all of this?
Ooh, so for now, I’ve been picturing the happiest option: they’re an ordinary child, placed back in their home with family and friends, given the same type of memory-wipe. Milgram needed an unbiased party for their experiment, so they grabbed a random child and made a blank slate themselves. There’s also the slightly sadder option that Es’ amnesia occurred pre-Milgram, in which they’d wake up in a hospital after some kind of accident, still without a family/past, but at least they’re safe. Then there’s the much sadder option that Es is put on trial after the prisoners, and is found guilty – no matter where they started, they don’t make it out of Milgram.
There’s also a bittersweet theory – I’ve always liked theories that Es didn’t begin human. They’re a manifestation of us, or the victims, the prisoners, a brand new construct, etc. If this were the case, I can see Milgram returning them to whatever peaceful state they began as. If they were made up of other people, they’d have some kind of closure/revelation, and they would be much more at peace when they disappear (compared to an actual death as a human.) 
Regardless, I think the prisoners have very mixed emotions on them once they remember everything. Some would be angry once they saw which prisoners were executed. Some would recognize they were just a kid and feel sorry they had to go through all that. Some would be plain curious about who they are in the outside world. I think searching up a minor with only a nickname and vague physical description would prove to be very difficult, but I can still see them succeeding after enough time, or with a meeting-coincidence like Yuno and Fuuta’s.
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a-blip-of-billdip · 8 months ago
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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pollen · 6 months ago
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i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like
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#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him#last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy#idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being#and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do#genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses#that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at#being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything#else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends#i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas#except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies#because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again#and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend#i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this#idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well#which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this#and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid#and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid#so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd#but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please#i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up
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banished-away · 8 months ago
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Started Neverwinter and damn, drizzt is quite the dick to dahlia without even realizing it
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immortalsins · 5 months ago
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im so so tired jsjdhbj an engineering employers panel just scared me half to death with their startups and innovation and investment and passion commitment linkedin networking etc etc etc i hate it here
#i can't do it#this kind of thing is not meant for people like me#i came here and suffered through it to get myself some niche skills so that the kind of person i am doesn't matter#but i attend an employers panel and they're saying that they don't want your skills#they want you as a person#you need to be networking and making connections within the industry and building soft skills AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#i can't do this i'm genuinely too disabled#should have been a vet fr#i don't want to move to cambridge and work in startups until i decide to do a phd and go straight back to [current redacted uni] i canttt#need to get a job and then find something to live for but unfortunately for me#those two things are separate#yet i'm in the field of people who act like they're not#ksjhgdcksjd i don't understand why it can't be about the work#and why it has to be about me#times like this when i want someone to take charge of my life entirely. which is a really bad thing to want#but at the same time i can't deal with it alone#and that's what i am right now !!#tangent on this rant but my dad should theoretically be great to have around to help since he's also an engineer#should be great in general tbh. i have a dad isn't that cool#but he doesn't really love me#and hasn't for a long time#yet i am completely reliant on him#and if anything goes wrong - which it easily could in my current state - my mum can't support me#hgjvsfdtycu;ioakljshdgvfctjyulaisdkjchg that's enough of that sorry#what a shit day#started so nice and went down like a lead balloon
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fishparasite · 10 months ago
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genuinely sorry about all the dndposting recently it hasn't even been interesting but i'm so desperate to dm. i've got storytelling skills!!! i've got improv skills!!! i want to build a story around characters!!! i want to see what players do with what i give them!!!
#i want to get good at planning combat encounters too#i'm sad that the first group didn't work out#it really could have been great#but also. thank FUCK it didn't work out i need to get away from those people.#earlier the person that has basically only been condescending to me was like#''hey are we cool?''#because i never responded to his shitty condescending message#like no bitch we're not cool. shut the fuck up.#you have permanently ruined my opinion of you.#which may be harsh#but you need to understand he's an experienced dnd player and dm. started several dnd clubs#and did Not help me out at all#and when i was like ''hey man you're the experienced player here can you help me out''#he was like ''well i'm doing EVERYTHING i can. it's just a shitty way of life that the dm has to do everything''#(''everything'' means things i genuinely could not do by myself. things that were explicitly a group effort)#and he kept being like ''this is stressing you out let's take a break''#fucker i didn't need a break i needed HELP. i wasn't even stressed#i was pissed off#and INCREDIBLY reasonable the entire time. this sounds like biased bullshit i know#but the worst things i said were like#''hey guys i'm really looking forward to this but i can't do everything by myself i need some help''#''don't you wish you had a proactive player in your groups?''#and ''if you leave a date blank on the calendar i just have to assume that it's free. that's why we have the calendar''#so no man we're not ''cool''#also talking down to me is the easiest way to get me to dislike you. it's like a speedrun#''i don't think it's your fault. i don't think it's anyone's fault :)"#bro it very clearly is SOMEONE'S fault. definitely not mine.#fuck that guy#persimmon's rambles
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briefcasejuice · 2 months ago
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i don't have a continuous/relentless internal monologue in the way people usually describe it but i am always thinking about something
#if i'm not disossiated or just plain zoned out then i'm maladatively daydreaming as an alternative to info dumping#or my brain finds itself subconsciously yet purposefully poking at things that makes me anxious every time i calm down#sometimes ill scroll through hours worth of my dash then realise i wasn't paying attention ot any of that#and i've also now gone and given myself an anxiety attack because of what i was thinking about. great#what's worse is that 9/10 it isn't anything that has any real substance it's some stupid hyperfixation that rules my emotional state#and therefore is also one of the emotional centres of my anxiety. so it's not even like i can express it#at least like ten times a day i think the phrase 'get out of your head'#amd i say 'usually describe it' as in other nd people seem to have a descriptive internal monologue#that keeps up with everything they're doing or at least takes in things from their environment. even other people's stims#directly correlate to things that they hear regularly. mine doesn't work like that mine's like a stream of AUGH it just happened again#i couldn't think of the descriptive word i wanted and turned away from my phone and started thinking about something else#i was thinking about earlier and that ive apparently been continuously formulating while i typed this#(<- wondering why people using the 1.20 “we're not so different. not anymore” sam and john scene as evidence#for their fundamental similarities in their characters and agencies bother me so much. the answer is that once again#people do not pay attention to the progression of sam's character as a line of events relating to and constantly affecting each other#that scene is the recognition of a cathartic breach in a previous fundamental difference and of understanding#rather than a fundamental similarity. there presently is and will continue to be fundamental differences between the circumstances#of mary's death vs jessica's death from the grieving's pov namelyyy their respective relationships with azazel#+ how their ideals of normalcies work alongside the familial ideal)#and even now i cant stop thinking i cant stop i cant stop i cant STOP. i hate these periods of brief hyper-awareness about it#my head breaches the water and im like Hey these waves weren't so loud before. whatever#&
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sskk-manifesto · 1 year ago
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(*・ω・*)b♪
#I'm a bit late but :)#Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol#I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime.#I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc#I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga.#But even then it's just...#Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage#It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless.#I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!!#For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate.#Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him.#And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally!#Do people irl never act irrationally?”#And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand.#But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read?#That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second–#so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol.#On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL.#The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭#I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies#(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.)#Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place#And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is–#blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but...#Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because–#a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay#Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao)#But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty.#random rambles
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jinstronaut · 1 year ago
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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theemporium · 4 months ago
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uhhh what did lando say? all i've seen is the chess comment (which got taken out of context) and the comment about him and max not being as close as people think they are (which ofc was also taken out of context) 😭
everything he has said since austria tbh
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