#I tried using a new blog for a couple months but I might try just using this one again

[starryseasart]

I was tagged by @mybisexualwife in a get to know you better game. thank you friend <3!!

(Answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better)

last song I listened to: GameChops version of Marble Zone from Sonic.

currently reading: 3rd Voice (webcomic) by Evan Dahm, The Golden Boar (webcomic) by Magnolia Porter Siddell, and Rhythm of War (audiobook) by Brandon Sanderson (I'm like 4 hours from the end ahh!!!), CAPSLOCK (book) by Ruben Pater.

currently watching: Dungeon Meshi (my beloved), One Piece, Dimension20 Fantasy High Junior Year (HEYYY GIRLIEEE), GameChanger.

currently obsessed with: new dieselpunk victorian gothic horror DND campaign (Pathfinder 2e - playing a lvl 2 cleric named Silas), Splatoon (as usual), FlightRising (recently revived again), Elden Ring (trying to finally finish my playthrough, with the help of my partner).

tagging: @skittidyne @nekoisadumbname @radishleaf @sabertoothwalrus @lawinbehold @alacarterr @adobedesert @bicinno @somnomania @crimpeeeko @plasmirror

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

Mav's Reaction to Each Dagger Dating His Daughter

Pairing(s): Daggers / Mitchell! Fem!Reader (Mav's Daughter)

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Protective Mav Dad, Reader is Maverick's Daughter but no Description of Appearance or Biological Parentage; Can be treated as an OC; She's referred to as 'Baby Mitchell' occasionally; Third Person POV, No "You" or Y/N

This work, all of my other works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only.

Summary: Maverick finds out that his daughter is dating someone that he knows when she invites her new partner to dinner. And so he makes it his mission to greet them at the door first.

A.N. Starts out with the same basic set up but then it splits. All seven main Daggers have their own separate story (about 250 words each), so read your favorite(s) or all seven!

Master List

Maverick never exactly looked forward to meeting his daughter’s partners.

Maybe it was because he was a little worried that he didn’t exactly give her a healthy example to follow. Maybe it was because he was just trying to compensate for all of the times that he wasn’t there for her when she was little. Maybe it was because he was just a smidge overprotective.

But either way, he never looked forward to meeting his daughter’s partner.

So, when she told him that she was inviting over her new partner for dinner, and mentioned that he already knew her partner, Maverick was given a new mission—to answer the door before her. He wanted to see if her partner could cut it on their own without his daughter coaching them through every step of this new dynamic.

And when the doorbell rung five minutes ahead of schedule, Maverick sprang into action.

“I got it!” he called up the stairs to his daughter.

“No, I’ll get it, Dad!”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Maverick insisted, reaching for the front door.

Twisting the knob, Maverick flung the door open and paused when he saw who was standing on the other side of the door.

[Pick Your Dagger:]

Rooster

Rooster stood on the front steps of the Mitchell house, nervously shifting his weight around.

“Why did you ring the doorbell, Bradley? Just go through the side entrance,” Maverick instructed Rooster, completely missing the point of Rooster’s arrival. He held the door open and stepped aside. “But my daughter’s new partner is coming for dinner. You’re free to join us if you like, but it might be a little awkward.”

“Uh . . . yeah . . .” Rooster trailed off, really wishing that his girlfriend would get down the stairs already. “I was . . . going to stay.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll just set out another plate.”

Rooster stared after Maverick like he’d grown a third head as he walked off to reset the dinner table. Shaking his head, Rooster glanced up at the stairs as his girlfriend hurried down them, smiling at his appearance. Rooster shut the front door behind him and held out his arms as his girlfriend threw herself at him.

“Hey,” she giggled, pressing a loving kiss to his lips, “how’d you survive?”

“Well, he seems to think that you’re bringing someone else home,” Rooster explained sheepishly, causing her to raise an eyebrow.

“You didn’t tell him that you were my boyfriend?”

“Well . . .”

Letting out a sigh, she grabbed her boyfriend’s hand and pulled him with her down the hall. Maverick was in the middle of setting down another plate when the young couple walked into the room. Maverick looked up and smiled at them. But he froze when he caught sight of their intertwined hands. Maverick straightened up and glanced erratically between Rooster and his daughter.

“You . . . you’re dating my daughter . . . Bradley?” Maverick asked his godson, who started to sweat a bit.

“Yes, we’re dating,” Baby Mitchell answered on Rooster’s behalf. “We have been for four months.”

“This is some kind of joke, right?” Maverick tried to laugh off, but Rooster and Baby Mitchell’s expressions did not change. “Right?”

“No, it’s not,” she replied calmly. “Rooster is my boyfriend. We’re dating. I invited him over for dinner. So, let’s have dinner.”

Baby Mitchell led the way over to the table and sat down in her seat. Maverick shot Rooster a look and in response Rooster simply shrugged his shoulders and followed after his girlfriend.

~~~~~

Hangman

Hangman offered Maverick a curt nod and his usual smile-smirk-combination.

“Hey, Mav—”

Maverick slammed the door shut and locked it, just to be sure. Shaking his head, Maverick glanced up at the stairs as his daughter hurried down them.

“Who was at the door?” she questioned, looking confused.

“Just . . . a delivery driver.”

“Where’s the package then?” Baby Mitchell demanded, frowning at him.

“Well, that’s the funny thing—”

The doorbell cut off Maverick’s lie and caused his daughter to shoot him an aggravated expression. Reaching around him, she unlocked the door and pulled it open to see Hangman still standing on the front steps of the Mitchell home.

“Really?” Baby Mitchell scoffed at her dad before letting her boyfriend inside.

“Oh, Hangman, I didn’t see you standing there,” Maverick lied poorly.

“Frankly, I was expecting worse,” Hangman told his girlfriend, who shook her head in response.

“Dad, Jake is my boyfriend and I invited him over,” Baby Mitchell began, trying to keep the aggravation out of her tone. “So, you can’t go around slamming doors in his face just because you don’t like the fact that we’re dating. Okay?”

“I . . .” Maverick trailed off when he caught his daughter’s annoyed expression. “Alright, alright.”

Baby Mitchell shook her head before turning for the dining room. She grabbed Hangman’s hand and pulled him along with. But, while her back was turned, Maverick shot him the ‘I’ve-got-my-eye-on-you’ gesture with his fingers. Hangman nodded in return, but Maverick didn’t miss the slightly nervous look that he wore.

~~~~~

Phoenix

Phoenix gave Maverick a sarcastic mock salute as the door swung open. Standing confidently on the front steps, Phoenix straightened up.

“Hey, Mav.”

“Hey, Phoenix,” he returned with a nod. He held the door open for Phoenix and she stepped inside. “So, you’re the one who gave my daughter a hickey two weeks ago?”

Phoenix blinked, clearly a bit caught of guard, before her usual confident demeanor returned. Phoenix nodded in response and didn’t let her nerves show.

“Yes. But, to be fair, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

“I assumed,” Maverick replied, nodding along. After another moment of thought, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “Well, at least you can’t get her pregnant.”

“You’re not going to give me a shovel talk?” Phoenix asked Maverick, folding her hands over her chest.

“I like to give it at the end,” Maverick assured Phoenix while his daughter hurried down the stairs. “Let’s me personalize it a little better.”

“Hey, babe,” Baby Mitchell called, pulling Phoenix in for a quick peck. Turning to Maverick, Baby Mitchell shot him a look. “I hope that he wasn’t too overprotective.”

“No, he was fine,” Phoenix assured her girlfriend with a small smile. “Though we have a debriefing scheduled for after dinner.”

“Dad.”

“What? I would do the same if she was a man.”

The two girlfriends shared a look and Phoenix shrugged her shoulders in response. Baby Mitchell let out a groan and shook her head.

“Fine,” she muttered, grabbing Phoenix’s hand. “Well, come on. Let’s get you some dinner first before you’re interrogated.”

~~~~~

Bob

Bob offered Maverick his usual awkward smile. Maverick blinked once in surprise before he let out a humorous breath of relief.

“Bob, I’ve never been happier to see you,” Maverick chuckled, holding the door open for the WSO.

“Really?” Bob asked curiously, walking inside the house.

“Yeah, I was worried that she was bringing Hangman home,” Maverick replied with a light chuckle, closing the door. “But I’m glad to see that I was completely wrong.”  

“Thank you?” Bob returned quietly.

“Hey, babe,” Baby Mitchell called out to Bob as she walked down the stairs. “Glad to see that the dragon guarding the castle didn’t hurt you.” She hurried over and pulled Bob in for a quick kiss in greeting before turning to her dad. Leaning against her boyfriend, she smiled brightly as she glanced between them. “Should we sit down and start dinner then?”

“Yeah, I’ll start bringing stuff out from the kitchen,” Maverick agreed, walking off.

When Maverick’s back was turned, Bob reached out and grabbed Baby Mitchell’s ass playfully. She giggled and pressed a heated kiss to his lips that Bob eagerly returned. Reluctantly pulling away, she leaned towards his ear.

“We should go. Don’t want him to get suspicious,” she whispered to Bob.

“Alright. But . . . later?” he suggested, giving her ass another light pat.

“Absolutely,” she agreed with a wide smile.

~~~~~

Coyote

Coyote offered Maverick a small, nervous smile. Maverick paused for a moment before opening the door wider for him.

“So, you’re dating my daughter, Coyote?” he asked as Coyote stepped inside the house.

“Yes, sir,” Coyote returned politely.

“You don’t have to call me that,” Maverick replied, closing the door. “Yet, anyways.”

“Yet?” Coyote repeated, confused.

“I only make my daughter’s boyfriends call me ‘sir’ if I don’t like them,” Maverick explained quietly to Coyote, trying to prevent his daughter from overhearing. “And, frankly, as long as you don’t toss me out of my own home and onto my own lawn, I think that you’ll be okay.”

“I appreciate that, s—Mav,” Coyote corrected himself.

The sound of footsteps caused both aviators to look up. Baby Mitchell walked down the stairs with a bright smile when she spotted Coyote. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she pressed a quick peck to his lips before turning to her dad.

“Did you get the shovel talk out of the way, then?” she asked sarcastically, leaning against Coyote.

“Not yet,” Maverick replied before turning to Coyote. In a quieter voice, he added, “We’ll get to that after dinner.”

Baby Mitchell gently shoved her dad away from her boyfriend and shook her head.

“Honestly, I’m not sixteen anymore.”

“Well, I like Coyote a lot more than the boy that you were seeing when you were sixteen,” Maverick conceded, causing his daughter to wince.

“Who was—” Coyote started to ask.

“—No one!” Baby Mitchell interjected.

~~~~~

Fanboy

Fanboy smiled nervously at Maverick as the door swung open. Maverick could tell that the WSO was nervous if the way that he fidgeted was any indication, but Fanboy was doing his best not to show it. Unfortunately for him, Maverick was very observant.

“Hey, Maverick,” Fanboy greeted him politely with a slow nod.

“Hey, Fanboy. Come on in,” Maverick replied, holding open the door for him. Fanboy stepped inside and Maverick shut the door behind him. “So, you’re the flyboy who’s dating my daughter?”

“Yeah, I am,” Fanboy agreed confidently, though with an edge of concern. He glanced up the stairs for his girlfriend before turning back to Maverick. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, not yet,” Maverick replied calmly, shaking his head. “And between you and me, backseaters tend to be more . . . stable than their pilot counterparts. So, that helps you as well.”

“Well, I don’t disagree with that,” Fanboy chuckled before his girlfriend started down the stairs.

“Hey, amor,” Baby Mitchell called down to her boyfriend.

She hurried the rest of the way down and greeted Fanboy with a quick peck to the lips. She grabbed his hand and turned back to her dad.

“Everything okay, Mr. Overprotective?” she asked Maverick.

“Wouldn’t he be Captain Overprotective?” Fanboy quipped, earning a groan from his girlfriend and a distinct ‘dad’ laugh from Maverick.

“I like him,” Maverick chuckled, pointing over at Fanboy. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

~~~~~

Payback

Payback nodded and smiled confidently at Maverick as the door opened. Maverick shot Payback a small smile in return and held the door open.

“Are there any bets on how tonight goes then?” Maverick asked as he let Payback inside the house.

“A few,” Payback agreed, nodding along. “Why? Did you want to place your own bet?”

“No, no, I try not gamble. But, out of curiosity, is there a way to make sure that Hangman doesn’t win . . . at all? And maybe Rooster a little bit too.”

“You can’t threaten to chase after me in a F-18, you can’t make a joke about the two hundred pushups, and . . .” Payback trailed off, trying to remember the rest of the bets. “You have to greet me like you would a son-in-law tomorrow on base. But that last one is only if you want Rooster to lose.”

“How much money?”

“Fifty bucks each.”

“Well, his mother taught him not to gamble, so Rooster should have paid more attention,” Maverick replied, clearly taking the bet.

“Hey, babe,” Baby Mitchell called down to Payback, walking down the stairs. She gave him a quick hug and peck before glancing between Payback and Maverick. “Everything going well so far?” 

“So far,” Maverick agreed with a nod and smile. “And by this time tomorrow, both Payback and I will be fifty bucks richer.”

“Good. Because that was the whole point of this dinner,” Baby Mitchell replied sarcastically. Grabbing Payback’s hand, she turned for the dining room. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

[breadnauppercrust]

some designs i came up with for the girls in miraculous. the idea was 'what if they could have multiple outfits like sailor moon, as told by ginger, or totally spies?' and 'what if their clothes reflected their story arc?' however, i kind of gave up on them because i no longer have time to work on it as much as i would like to, so below this are copy+paste from my wip instagram account. lowkey its fanfiction-y lol

Alya:

Alya redesigns! tbh don’t know if they’re cohesive but 🤷‍♀️

S1: dresses for comfort & is geeky - think DrWho/Marvel/Tumblr. Obsessed w superheroes & has dedicated blog for each one, & that includes LB. Beginning of her & Maris friendship, starts to dates nino halfway s1.

S2: Mari influences her way of dress, still geeky but experimenting w clothes. Ladyblog becomes popular, interested in finding out her secret ID. Is also investigating akumas, HM, The Who/what/where/whys. Lowkey figures out who ladybug is but doesn’t say anything. Has been given fox miraculous at least a couple times.

S3: notices changes in Maris behavior & confronts her. Becomes fox miraculous holder full time, helps LB figure out who HM is & shares all the info she’s found. CN lowkey pushed to the side, causing friction, bc wrapped up w finding out who HM is ig. Constantly wears a Fanny pack now for trixx. Goes w comfortable but stylish clothes (ig lol idk) also at this point is BFF w Mari

Chloe:

S1: wears preppy designer brands to impress mom, despite living in diff countries. Basic mean girl, her only friends being Sabrina and Adrien - whose a childhood friend & lowkey helped him attend school. Both know how it feels to “lose” a parent & Adrien has seen a softer side of her. Probably has a crush on him ig. Maris bully, jealous of her talents at sewing & making friends easily, & prob her knit tight family.

S2: still preppy but w 60/70s inspo. Given bee miraculous a couple times, has resisted akumas - info she uses to help others later. Helping ppl & being somewhat nice makes her feel good & likes the appreciation from others+LB. Maybe Mom moves back to Paris w half sister, Zoe - might be significantly younger than Chloe idk. Didn’t like her at first but warms up to her as season goes on. Sees lil sister copying her & their mom, has an epiphany ig. Connects dots on akumas & feelings & tries to be better.

Should Zoe exist tho??? idk

S3: preppy but more casual. She’s nicer but still sarcastic, has made a few new friends, treating Sabrina better. Still trying to get moms approval tho & follows her around, even to fashion things w the Agreste. Notices Gabriel is acting strange, more distant towards Adrien, doesn’t notice what he’s doing or where he’s going. pt queen bee ig, probably given towards the very end of the season tbh by Adrien/CN after being ignored by LB bc of RR involvement w finding out HM id. AND noticing Chloe change significantly in the past several months (?) does Adrien reveal to her IDK he is still loyal to LB but eH

Mari:

1st Mari is shy, her outfits are safe & she kind of disappears in a crowd. She just became 🐞 & isn’t 💯 with her role yet. She’s designed and made her own clothes but doesn’t wear them outside of the house bc Chloe, oof

2nd she’s now comfortable being 🐞 & that boosts her confidence as Mari, she’s wearing more bold colors & outfits that she may or may not have designed herself 👀

3rd 🐞 is now the guardian of the miraculous box, has bigger responsibilities & problems to deal with. Being 🐞 has creeped into her daily life. Doesn’t have time to design/make clothes so wears w/e, but tries to appear happy.

Kagami:

i like the idea of kagami being prim and proper looking all preppy at the beginning, but after making friends she starts to rebel by modifying her school clothes w accessories but eventually wears w/e she wants w a punkish vibe. lowkey worried about falling into a trope so idk

[imomisoplays]

Long story short

...I survived. Or at least, that's how the lyrics go. Hi again, tombler -- I guess?

Long story:

It's really long, so scroll down for the short version!

Earlier in the month, Tumblr wrongly terminated my previous blog at misoplays. It could come out as a funny accident if only it's (a) the first time this kind of termination happened to misoplays, and (b) Tumblr gracefully reinstate the blog again. I've waited for almost a month and sent two e-mails (they did say spamming e-mail would just push my request back on the queue) while keep trying to refresh the page every day, yet the result is the same "There's nothing here" page. That's that me depresso.

To elaborate further on point (a), the first time I decided to start a sims cooking blog, I created it under my OG e-mail address; the e-mail I used to apply for job etc. which also happened to be linked to my OG tumblr account. It's an old account that now acts like a Wayback Machine of memories for me, but as you know, if a blog is already linked to your e-mail, it will be your main blog, and any additional blog you create under that e-mail would act as side blogs. So, the OG misoplays started as a side blog. However, three posts in, the blog got wrongly terminated. I was sure I didn't break any rules, but maybe Tumblr thought my sudden activity in that ancient account was suspicious, which I could understand. So I sent a request to Tumblr, and the blog was reinstated in under two weeks. The blog first looked like this:

Understandably no one liked or reblogged me, and it was totally okay -- because once again, I just started and posted my first three posts.

When the OG misoplays blog was under, I created a new Tumblr account under my other e-mail address, this time the blog becomes my main blog. The username was misomain, because misoplays was unavailable (apparently, you can't use a username from a suspended/terminated blog) at that time. Misomain was a puny name, because 'main' means "a principal of others in the same kind" in English, but it also translates to "to play" in Indonesian. I quite like misomain, but I went back to misoplays the moment Tumblr reinstated that blog.

The blog you might be familiar with looked more or less like this, of course without the silly Squidward booty profile picture 🤣

Everything went smoothly for a couple of months until early November. To be honest it kinda gets blurry what I was trying to do, I think I was trying to change the password or something. Tumblr sent a verification e-mail, and when I clicked on the link, that fateful "There is nothing here" page appeared. It was at that moment I knew something is wrong. My blog got wrongly terminated for the second time.

I sent a request to get my blog reinstated, and as patient as I can be, I get more anxious as the days went. Another fact is that my blog got yeeted away right when I was about to post my Halloween party posts -- which you'll see later, is quite time-consuming to take pictures of. I stopped playing The Sims 4 because I was sad, mad and somehow bitter at the situation. I mean, tell me why it keeps happening to me, @staff? The only possible explanation (and I don't want to keep making excuses for Tumblr because duh) is because sometimes I use VPN and some other times I turned it off. And if that's so, I already sent e-mails explaining the situation -- so far receiving no reply. None; nada!

I didn't think I would recreate another blog; I was done with it. That's when I absent-mindedly tried to google "misoplays" and the search brought me to this post.

I'm not gonna lie, I choked up and almost shed a tear 🥹

To think that someone out there -- someone who I look up to! -- knows that misoplays is gone and is wondering where it is... Bro, the tears are right there. Thank you, @charlypancakes, your post really bring my spirit up. I decided that I will create another blog, and I will start posting again. From now on I'll diligently back everything up, so if Tumblr yeeted this blog, I'm gonna create another one. I'm gonna live up to that one popular Indonesian proverb: Mati satu tumbuh seribu -- for every thing that was lost, a replacement will appear.

This current blog's name imomisoplays is another play on word: In English, 'emo' would refer to the sad, emotional side of me after experiencing this termination (as I would tell my friends, I'm "currently on my emo phase" once again). But in Korean, the word 이모 (read as ee-mo) means "aunt". I'm an aunt myself, and maybe, with my sims cooking content, I can be that cool auntie on the internet, conquering one recipe at a time 💃

Short story:

Phew, you just saved yourself a whole sob story!

My old blog at misoplays got wrongly terminated earlier this month. Tumblr hasn't returned it yet, and I have long lost hope. I saw a hopeful post and realized that I still got that spirit to keep on posting, so I created this blog. I lost my following, my followers (all 20 of you, please know I appreciate each one of you!), and the drafts to my old posts (only managed to save some), but I would love to continue simblr-ing again as imomisoplays 🙇‍♀️

[james-is-here]

I've had this idea for three months and it took so long to put into words because I was trying to come up with...not lyrics so to speak but what I think it feels like in a position like this.

Zombie Au? There's an infection and it's spreading but it's not necessarily zombies. Felix is your little brother.

Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 @heartbinn @leezanetheofficial I genuinely forgot who else wanted tagged, please let me know again if you want to know when I post

Tags: Death, angst, you might cry (I genuinely cried), I'm so sorry if you cry 🥺, blood, kn1fe, Felix being the precious soul he is even in a dire situation, lots of crying, th-the use of st-stuttering since i've once read that the stuttering is annoying so I'm just warning. LMK if I forgot anything.

You ran and ran, hand tight around your brothers as you keep looking back to make sure he's still keeping up with you and also look out behind the both of you.

You shouldn't be outside at night but your original camp was surrounded by the creatures, slimy, gross, deformed creatures which use to be human beings. It was dusk, barely enough light to see where you're going.

The slow ones were called draggers, the fast ones were called runners, three runners were currently chasing you and your brother. You look back in front of you to find a couple draggers and skid to a stop, running to your left but you went to fast and Felix tripped, loosing the grip on your hand and falling to the ground with a grunt before shuffling back to his feet and catching up to you, taking your hand again.

His fumble unintentionally let the runners catch up to you both as you pant heavily. You still don't know where you're running, the road you're on unfamiliar as you run past buildings after buildings.

You suddenly hear a high pitched whistle and look ahead to your left, a person waving you over to an abandoned convenience store, they wear some sort of head cover that they seem to wear to blend in with the monsters but you saw their eyes and the fact that they were waving you over. You're quick to run over to them but suddenly your hand is empty again.

Turning around, you weren't expecting to see a dragger on your brothers foot. "Felix!" You dash over to him, kicking the dragger in the head before picking your brother up and running into the store.

You set Felix down, cradling his face and looking over him to make sure he's okay. "You guys okay?" The person- or the man- took his head over off and you see someone around you and Felix's age. "Yeah...Yeah, I think we're good. Thank you." "No problem. I'm Chris." "I'm Mn, this is my little brother, Felix." "It's nice to see a few new faces. Come on, there's a few more of us in the staff room."

The other survivors you met were really nice, they were friends of Chris'. Minho, Changbin, and Seungmin. They all lost someone to the infection.

Minho lost his lover, Jisung.

Changbin lost his best friend, Hyunjin.

Seungmin lost his little brother, Jeongin.

and Chris lost his wife and daughter.

You and Felix lost your whole family, you only had each other.

You both were currently on the floor in front of a fire Chris made, everyone else either somewhere in the store. Felix was curled up in your arms between your legs, one leg extended and the other you had your knee up the Felix leaned back on, your body was like his own little bubble, his comfort as your arms were secured around him and you just stared at the dancing flames in front of you.

He shifts, burying his face further into your neck as he slept but slowly he began whimpering and shifting, squirming in your hold as he tried to bury further into your neck. "Felix, bubs, wake up." You rub his arm gently, trying to wake him up and you know he's awake when he moves to face you, you move your legs to hold him properly in your lap as he cries on your shoulder. "Felix..." "I'm so scared, Mn..." "I know...I-I am too." "N-No, I-I'm scared of being in here..." "Wha- Lix, What do you mean?"

He sniffs, moving off your lap to rest his leg on your lap and pull up his pant leg. "No-" The tears hit you fast as you sob and gently graze your finger over the wound. "Th-The Dragger g-got me...I-I'm s-sorry, Mn. I-I'm so s-scared." He's started sobbing now and you just bring him into your arms, holding him tight. "I-I'm sorry..." You shush him, gently rubbing his back. "I-It'll be o-okay, Lixie." You bury your face in his shoulder and hold him tightly. "I-It'll be okay..." If you were reassuring him or yourself, you couldn't say.

Although, someone over heard you, and they were happy that an infected was now in their safe space.

In the stillness of the night, I hold you tight.

As time slips away, fading out of sight.

Every beat of your heart, a whispered plea.

Begging for salvation that I cannot decree.

There was one night, or day, you don't even know the date anymore, that you all gathered near the fire ring, conversing about anything and everything. Chris was telling stories of his family and Changbin told stories about him and Hyunjin, it hurt to learn that Changbin loved Hyunjin but never got the chance to tell him until Hyunjin got infected.

You and Felix were sitting on one of the break room tables, you could tell he's getting weaker, he was getting more tired and he didn't have as much energy anymore.

"I'm sorry...I have to say something before we're all dead." Minho suddenly spoke up and stood up, pulling a knife from the counter. "Woah, hey, Minho! What are you doing?!" "There's a runner or dragger here and I need to take care of it before we're all dead."

Your protective instincts gave it away as you stood and stepped in front of Felix. "Mn?" Seungmin questions your sudden shift before standing up, watching you protect the boy. "Minho, please..." "You really expect that'd change my mind?! Come on, wouldn't any of you want to kill the infected before it took your loved ones?" "Minho, this is my brother, my baby brother, he's all I have left, Please." "You'll end up loosing him." "But I still have him! I still have him now! I don't- I don't want to loose him yet, I-I just can't." You cry, turning towards Felix and cradling his face, gently shushing him as he sobbed, holding onto your wrists as he placed his forehead on yours.

He's muttering that he's scared, that he doesn't want to go, that he doesn't want to leave you and it hurts you even more, leaning back to kiss his forehead before returning to your previous spot.

Suddenly there's hands on your biceps, pulling you away from the boy and you sobbed, begging that this doesn't happen, trying to pull out of Chris' hold but he's stronger than you in the moment. "No, No P-Please! Please, just a little longer please!" Chris pulls you to the back wall of the break room, you try to pull your arms out and run to your brother but suddenly Changbin and Seungmin are holding you in place by your shoulders, keeping you from escaping Chris' hold. You struggle against them as Felix limps backwards away from Minho before falling to the floor.

"I-I'm sorry, Felix..." Minho stutters before driving the blade into his stomach. "No!!" You choke, watching Minho do it a couple more times before dropping the blade and stepping back. "Felix!"

They finally let you go and you dash over to your brother, kneeling next to him and bringing him into your hold, placing a hand on his heart and sobbing heavily. Every other beat is strong but the in between beats are slow and barely there.

"Felix, No..." He sobs, tilting his head into you and you lean further down to connect your foreheads. "I'm scared, Mn..." "I know...I know, bubs, I'm so sorry..."

Your breath grows faint, a fragile sigh,

Yet in your eyes, a fire refuses to die.

I'd trade my every breath to keep you here,

But destiny's grip, I cannot interfere.

His chest begins to rise and sink slowly, but when you lean back to look at his eyes, they almost look alive still, wide and looking up at you the usual way he looked at you, like you were the most amazing guy in the world. He always looked up to you, he loved you as his big brother.

"I-I wish I c-could take your place...give you all that I have. I w-wish you didn't have to go th-through this, Lixie...I-I'm such a terrible brother, I-I'm so sorry." You place a slightly bloody hand on his cheek and wipe his tears away. "Y-You're wrong-" "Ssh, save your breath." He chuckles weakly. "Ironic." His eyes glance down to his stomach where his shaking, bloody hands rest.

Through every gasp, I whisper tales of our past,

Each memory a lifeline, meant to last.

Though time may steal your earthly form away,

Our love's immortal flame will forever stay.

"You'll be with Mama...a-and L-Livy...a-and Rach..." "B-But th-they w-were turned..." "No, that's- That's not them...they're somewhere b-better..."

You move a few strands of hair out of his face and reach down to hold his hand. You don't care about the blood anymore.

"I-I don't w-want you to g-go, Bubs...Y-You belong h-here." "I-It w-would've h-happened...s-sooner or l-later." He inhales shakily, squeezing your hand. "I'm n-not r-really l-leaving." "What do you mean?" He raised a hand slowly and pointed at your chest. "I-I'll b-be here...y-you'll always l-love me, Nn. I-I'll a-always be here..."

I'm here by your side, my love, don't fear,

In the darkness, I'll be your light, my dear.

Though I cannot save you from fate's cruel art,

I'll stay with you, till the last, never apart.

"I-I don't want to leave you now...D-Dying is s-scary, I-I'm s-so s-scared." "It's gonna be okay...I'm gonna be here with you, it's okay. It's okay..."

You stayed the whole time, rubbing your thumb back and forth on the back of his hand and occasionally kissing his forehead. "I-I wish I could've s-saved you. I-I wish th-this didn't have to happen, I-I'm so sorry, Felix..."

You were gonna stay until his last breath.

As your eyes meet mine, in the final gaze,

I'll be the guardian of our love's eternal blaze.

Though you depart from this world's embrace,

You'll find me waiting in love's timeless space.

You had your eyes closed the whole time, you couldn't handle seeing him the way he was but you finally open them, Felix should see you before he goes.

"I-It'll b-be okay, Nn." He raised a hand to the side of your face and you held it tight. "Stop fighting it, Lix. I-I know you are, it's okay. I'm here, y-you're safe. S-Say h-hi to th-the girls and Mum if you see th-them...a-and l-let me know y-your with me every- every once in a while, mkay?" "I-I will a-and t-take m-my locket..." "Lixie..." You choke out as your eyes remain locked and you watch the light fade, his eyes filled with tears and his hand goes limp. "Lix..." You sob with a whine as the others finally kneel by you.

"I'm really sorry, Mn..." You were silent, sobbing over your brother. "Mn, we should move him." You sniff, moving a shaky hand to his neck and Minho gently helped you unclasp the locket, you clutch it in your fist before you leave a final kiss to his forehead and close his eyes. "Okay." You say softly, barely above a whisper.

You pick him up and turn to the other guys. "I-I can't...I-I don't have the strength to just l-leave him somewhere." "I'll take him for you..." Minho offers with his lips pressed together in a soft, apologetic smile. "I-I happen to know a nice area nearby so he won't just be out in the open." "Thank you..." His eyes widen at your words, he just killed your brother, why are you thanking him?

"Wh-When it got worse, I-I don't think I-I'd h-have the strength to actually l-let him go..." He hums in reply and steps up to you, letting you place Felix in his arms before he walks away. "Wait!" Minho turns around and you walk over to him, taking Felix's bracelets, putting them on, and any other items he had on him. You also snatch the pocket knife you saw from a nearby table and cut a part of his hoodie off, the only light blue part of his sleeve that wasn't covered in blood, and put it in your pocket, saving it to make something later. "Thanks." Minho nods before walking away again.

It's lucky the convenience store still has running water as you move to wash off the blood. "Hey, found the clothing section for you." Chris announces, placing a hoodie and jeans on the counter next to you. "In a convenience store?" "Well, from the thrift store next door." "Light Blue?" "Had a feeling...if that's okay?" Tears gather on your lash line before you nod and extend an arm. With Chris' small nod and a gentle smile, he lets you hug him tightly.

"I'm surprised you're not mad at us." Seungmin commented and Changbin slapped his arm. "I-I'm actually grateful...Yeah, you let my brother...b-but it was a necessary thing to do...I-I wouldn't have had the strength to do it my-myself when i-it got worse."

"I'm back." You leave Chris' embrace and turn to Minho. "Thank you...again." "It's no problem...Sorry I got a bit angry before." "It was understandable. Now if you don't mind, the state of my clothes is making me want to cry again so I'm gonna change."

"We'll be out here." Chris said as you walked to the bathroom with the clothes he got you.

When the door closed, Chris turned to the others. "Him thanking us for killing his brother is weird right?" "A little but it makes sense. Were you watching back there? He held his to his final breath. I could tell he wouldn't have been able to let him go if the infection got worse."

"How'd you know?" "Saw them a couple nights ago, Felix showed him the bite on his ankle from the dragger that attacked him before they came in here. I could see him changing and didn't want Mn to keep him to the point of turning into one of those and attacking us." "Did it hurt?" Changbin asked.

"So much. He looked as precious and kind, I really didn't but I was protecting us." You then walk out of the bathroom, throwing your old clothes into a nearby empty box. "Can I hug you, Minho?" "Uh, yeah, sure." He asks hesitantly and you walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his back and shoulders as he did the same to you.

"Thank you-" "Stop thanking me for killing your brother, it's kinda weird." You laugh, pulling away and joining the others on the floor. "Was gonna say thank you for protecting us...although I was against it...what you did makes sense...as much as I want to hate you for killing him you did it to protect us so...guess that skims off some of the hate." "Some?" He looks at you bewildered and the rest of you laugh.

"You killed my brother, you expect there to not be at least a little hate?" "Yeah, but you said some which means there's more hate then gratitude." While you and Minho went back and forth, the other three watch small smiles.

Even in a world of chaos, there's still time to find joy.

😭 I'm sorry if this made you cry and also I wrote this in like three hours it was like 1:20am when I started and now it's 3:41am so I'ma go to bed.

The angst is angsting 😩

His locket had a picture of your family on one side, and him and you together on the other.

[wistfulnightingale]

The Chess Moves Theory Set (New Ideas About the Final 15)

*An 8-Part set of Interconnected MetaTheories that support each other and might start to answer some interesting questions.

Did you have any nagging thoughts about things that didn't make sense from the last 2 episodes of Good Omens S2? Out-of-character moments, or odd changes in mood, or just little things someone said that stood out, but you weren't sure Why?

Me too.

For me, it was Especially because I became convinced that Aziraphale and Crowley committed to each other as loving partners on that bus ride home from the almost-Apocalypse, and that we were seeing An Old Married Couple as S2 opened. They were sweet, but stable, with set looks and comfortable touch and familiar quarrels, and now a sudden dramatic crisis had strolled up to their doorstep in all his naked glory...

So, for many months I was poring over YouTube videos, rewatching full episodes -- with headphones, or not, with captions, without sound, with sound but not watching the visuals.... Bonkers, right? But, as the Cheshire Cat said, "We're all mad here." And Alice later told the Hatter, "...I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are!"

I saw so many wonderful questions about S2 being asked by my fellow madly devoted Ineffables fans. It occurred to me that maybe we needed to ask all the questions at the same time, in order to come closer to the answers we were looking for, instead of looking at one question as the key. Similar to chess, where no singular move can win the match without the other moves and counter-moves.

I came up with 8 Mini-Theories I christened The Chess Moves Theory Set that all impact and support each other. Some may seem too wild or weird for the ineffable path you follow, some you might love, some may (I hope) turn out to be on the right track, and some may prove to be altogether wrong. But I did my best, and I do believe all of them are supported as theories by what I discovered and what I describe in each meta-theory analysis. I hope they are also consistent with the vision Terry Pratchett had for the final story. Even if I was mistaken, at least it gives us something fun to talk about until then!

Tumblr doesn't make it easy to prep and link 8 theory posts and a Master Post -- I tried (oh so hard!) to put cross-links in each one for you, and it just couldn't happen at posting time. Annnd, I'd also foolishly put my works-in-progress from "draft" into "private" 5 days ago! This makes it even tougher for you to get to them. So here's a nice shiny new post with all 8 Mini-Theories plus the Master Post that explains how Chess and Magic connect to all this:

The 8 Chess Moves Theory Set:

1 - The Metatron Misdirection

2 - The Metatron's Second Coming

3 - Ineffables in Check

4 - A Hefty Jigger of Death

5 - Nothing Lasts Forever

6 - The Circle Kiss Theory

7 - The Nightingale DID Sing

8 - Aziraphale's Jubilant Smile

Also: The Chess Moves Theory Set, Why Chess & Magic?

(If anyone has trouble with any links in any of the blogs, please let me know asap, and I'll try to fix it! I had some issues when I tried to cross-link everything!)

I also linked them in my pinned post on my blog page, "I Believe In Nightingales" at @wistfulnightingale.

I hope you enjoy them, if you decide to check them out! I'd love to have you along on this crazy ride until we get to the final chapter for our Beloved Ineffable Husbands!

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Where we go from here...

It took me awhile last evening to get my mind in the right place to do the baking I had to do. I thought I would put on some music on my little radio station to kick my head into work mode. Tried some Glenn Gould playing Bach (always a go-to for morning coffee music), and it didn't hit right.

So I dialed up the huge mix I have titled "1969-72" and almost immediately started the long road back to feeling like myself. After about a half-hour, I was in the groove. Listened to the mix far into the night, after I'd finished working.

I managed to keep my focus and got the cookies all baked, and kiddo's mom happily packed them up and just left for her party, and I'm over here for the next couple of nights, sadly for my back. Two nights of "No Mattress For Old Men" and I'll need a week to recover, but hey...

Wanna thank all y'all for your comments and messages when I posted that I was prolly just gonna go black. Y'all loved me back off the ledge. Posted in a moment of true despair...something I haven't felt in awhile. I am hurting for all of us...and all of you. I have never in my long life been scared for the nation until now. Or at least that's what I thought. This feeling of complete despair, the emotional pain of millions of people, the hopelessness, the fear for the future...after I sat with it awhile I realized yes, that I have felt this same combination of toxic shit before.

In the 65 years I've been on this stinkin' rock, I've been through a number of particularly devastating previous elections, most notably the two Bush2(Dumbya) regimes. I remember the night of the 2004 election...Americans were posting tearful photos taken by their webcams, with them holding up signs saying "We're sorry."

I saw first-hand all the fights for rights that we have gained from the early '60s onward. To find ourselves set back to square one, 50-60 years later, when we had finally gained some footing toward fairness, is cruel. And cruelty is what they will wield as their main weapons in the coming days, as we suddenly find ourselves in the same predicament as 1963-65 when a virginal Joan Baez and little Bobby Dylan changed protest music forever.

So yes, I have felt this same way, and no, the nation didn't die or descend into complete chaos. Our lives went on, essentially as they had, with a growing pile of "things we can't do anymore" heaped atop via the collective wounding of 9/11.

This is another collective wounding--an intentional collective wounding. The next few months are going to be chaotic, they will try to push through their agenda as quickly as possible come january.

I may not post much overtly political stuff from this point on, but if I do it will be refocused on positive news. I don't know for certain how long that might last, but I can't take a 24/7 barrage of bad news and outrage bait. I'm probably gonna unfollow a few blogs, but don't think it's personal...it is Mental/Emotional Health Care.

And yes, I've been in the trenches with y'all a long time...we are all Family at this point...Brothers and Sisters in arms. I'm not leaving, but my presence/role will be different, out of the renewed sense of self-preservation this has thrust me into.

I woke up disoriented, but quickly remembered I'd gotten what I needed to get done done, and had a slow re-entry, sipping my coffee for a couple hours. I kept remembering how well the music had helped me last night, and then the beginnings of what this might turn into began to coalesce. Concepts of a plan. lulz.

As the day went on, I've been on a roller-coaster, emotionally, with seemingly hopeful leads on a roommate not materializing, on top of my craigslist ad for a roomie getting flagged and deleted. Pretty goddamn hopeless as far as this situation is going.

Looked at the huge box of cookies I'd managed to bake last night and it hit me. I've been reblogging the "Gooood Morning, TUMBLR!" graphics every morning up until the election. The image of Robin Williams being in character calling up the role of the military DJ.

Back when I did my cafe in the mountains of NM, a friend lent me a book called "Radio Venceramos", about South American rebels who had a radio transmitter and clamped the leads to the barbed-wire fences to broadcast their signal/programming to their fellow rebels.

Still not sure how the format will work out, but I've decided: my new role is going to primarily be the voice of inspiration over the air-waves to my fellow rebels. Not sure if it will be a second blog or if it will be a continuation of PTSD, but with no further ado, I will become the Voice of my fellow rebels with:

I may make a second blog out of it, but until then I guess I'll make it a series of posts. Tumblr will let you blog up to ten videos/post, and that may be how I start things out. Consider them like stacks of 45s and LP tracks from my paul-shaffer-brain...meant to help keep spirits up and keep the focus.

Made a couple of graphics, will probably try others in the course of it.

So the message today was "You did what you had to do. Heal up for what's ahead."

I will probably start this new focus in the morning...I'm still chewin'.

[ask-mayorau-brad]

hey, I think this is something you need to hear

Youre doing great, Griefer, I'm sure your dad would be proud.

☀️

It had.. been a long while since he had checked on his blog. He had been so busy with the holiday's.. at least he was now on his usual schedule. He finally opened his inbox.. seeing he had a couple of new asks. His eyes landing on this one first. "..HUH. 1 4PPr3C1473 17.. r3411Y.. 8U7 1 D0U87 H35 Pr0UD 0F M3. 1 D0N7 D353rV3 7H15 5P07.." "3V3N 1F H3 15 Pr0UD 0F M3.. 1 D0N7 D353rV3 MY r013 45 M4Y0r. 1 JU57 H0P3 H35 7H1NK1N6 480U7 M3.. WH3r3V3r H3 15"

.....

.....

.....

Meanwhile... How long had he been here? Months maybe. He had lost track of time being in this.. bright pink world. He tried finding a way out.. but it was no use. He'd end up in the same perfect-replica of his house over and over again. He might as well try doing something today. He kept watering his bushes he had.. water was scarce here.. but he managed to find some. Picking some of the wilted flowers before he heard.. something- or.. someone?

"Huh..? Who might that be?" He thought.

Author's Note: HELLO HI EVERYONE! I apologize extremely for my sudden absence! I've still been recovering from me being sick and I went on a trip to visit family this week and just got back yesterday!! Yes! My hiatus is over! I re-opened my asks, I apologize if I closed them without explanation! But I am officially back from my break on here! I will try to answer your asks as soon as I can! I might not draw them though- NIRVANA-THANIYEL IS OPEN FOR ASKS THOUGH! Although I am currently about to start a arc for him with @mayors-son so be on the look out for it!! THANK YOU AND SORRY FOR ME SUDDENLY GOING AWAY!! <3

[inmate62763]

Hi there Ashley! Super blog! Sorry to stay anonymous for now but I'm still new on here and only just realising I am developing a prison kink.

Does your number 62763 username have any personal significance to your actual prison time?

Were you held on remand before sentencing?

Did you have sexual relations with any other prisoners?

I read in one of your other answers that your cell doors were locked and unlocked by hand by the prison staff. Why aren't things more modern in English prisons like with automatic cell doors operated from a central control room like in many prisons?

Do you think you will ever go back to prison?

Sorry for all the questions and thanks in advance for answering! 🙂

Hey! Hi there. Thanks, I'm pleased you like my blog.

No need to apologise about staying anon'. Belive me having a prison 'kink' is a lot more common than you might think. I've met lots of people, particularly on this site who do. Everyone likes different things and if prisons are your thing then that's cool. Like any kink, it can develop any time. Take me for example, before I went to prison I had no real interest in prisons at all, yes a bit of curiosity about them maybe but I most certainly didn't want to actually end up being in one. But after my first couple of weeks and months in prison I genuinely started to realise I was liking being in that environment and the prison regime and day to day life in there which may sound odd to someone reading this who isn't "into" prisons but there we are. I still really like the world of prisons even though I've been out nearly 9 years now. So you developing a prison kink is nothing to fear or suppress, if you enjoy it then you enjoy it. There are many like minded people and you will meet and see some of their blogs on this site.

Yes, 62763 has personal significance for me because it was part of my real P-NOMIS number which was A62763CD. P-NOMIS is Prison - National Offender Management Information System and is used throughout most of the UK prison system. Basically it's a internal system that holds your criminal record, prison record, prison details and a lots more other relevant stuff. So for my username here I just used the numeric part for my blog name.

Yes, I was on remand for a short period of time before actual sentencing. I was held on remand at HMP Hewell prison which is a local prison in the area I'm from and it the local courts feed into it. But after sentencing I went to HMP Liverpool prison. I had sort of expected to end up in HMP Birmingham / Winson Green prison because of its local location but no, I ended up a bit further away in HMP Liverpool prison when I was fully convicted.

Sorry if this is a boring answer but to be honest, no I did not have any sexual relationships with any other prisoners during my time. It is quite a common thing that occurs but no, not in my case during my time. I did have a prisoner try it on with me against my will when I had only been in there for a few weeks but he was a horrible, skanky bastard who everyone hated and was also suspected of being a snitch / grass. He was a creepy asshole too. A few weeks after he tried his luck with me and failed he made the mistake of trying it on with another guy who wasn't interested also and who ended up absolutely beating the shit out of him. He had a bad reputation and his reputation caught up with him and he got a big kicking.

Yes that's right, my cell door was locked and unlocked manually with keys by officers. That is quite normal in most UK prisons. Not many prisons in the UK have centrally controlled electronic cell doors. We are still locked and unlocked manually in most prisons here. There a few reasons for this but remember that a lot of UK prisons still in full daily operational use are very old buildings built in Victorian times and even though they have been modernised a bit, the infrastructure is still old and probably would be cost prohibitve to alter the infrastructure. Some of the most modern newly built UK prisons have electronically controlled cell doors but the vast majority of UK prisons don't. So like in most British prisons, when I was in my cell and I was always locked up and unlocked by staff using keys rather than from a central control desk. Also particularly if they were short staffed or something was going on or kicking off at banging up times then you might hear the wing officers shout "behind your doors" and what that meant is you return to your cell for bang up as usual but you slam your own door shut from the inside and basically lock yourself in. There were no door handles on the inside of our cell doors so you just slammed your door shut and the spring loaded lock on the outside of the door would engage and lock. Then a short while later a officer would come and check your door was fully closed and you were locked up properly. That used to happen fairly regularly particularly if they were short staffed or wanted everyone banged up quickly.

No I don't think I will ever go back to prison. Can't say never for definite because you never know what life throws your way but I lead a much more settled life now I'm a bit older and I really have absolutely no intention of getting involved in criminal activity again these days. I'm a different person now and have changed my mindset and outlook. I genuinely do miss being in prison sometimes though but I wouldn't jeopardise everything now just to do a bit of prison time again. Which is why I'm happy to have my prison world on sites like this and talking to like minded people rather than going back to prison again for real.

Thanks for the questions, I know my answers were long but I hope it's answered your questions.

Best wishes from 62763 Ashley.

[inflatingnblue]

worried anon here again, but off anon this time bc fuck it, and also if we can’t be open about shit on our kink blogs, where can we??? 💜

I’ve felt and seen how seductive an ED can be; besides my own history of disordered eating and dysmorphia, the love of my life struggles with pretty serious anorexia, and it kills me to watch her be drawn back in again and again by this terrible thing that our culture only perpetuates, even now that she’s years into recovery. When she was at her worst, when she had almost convinced herself that the ED was “working,” she was so miserable and exhausted and listless and angry all the time, and she still hated her body to the point of suicidality. The weight she lost didn’t fix any of it, but it did make her incredibly hard to be around and made her life feel so small that she didn’t want to live it anymore. It makes me sick that the world we live in would rather we hurt and hate ourselves over and over again, systematically denying ourselves the nutrients we need to live, in order to make us think we’re doing right by our bodies and that people will think we’re beautiful. I’m sure you’ve heard all this kind of thing before, just as my fiancée has, from therapists and partners and friends and family and doctors, but I know from my experience that it’s easier to actually start to hear it when you’re not also exposing yourself to pro-ED voices. When I was in high school and at my most mentally ill, I had a whole secret blog where I posted and reblogged self-harm content, so I genuinely do get how that can make you feel less alone. When you’re at your lowest, the most important thing is to not isolate yourself, even if that means you’re in some darker online spaces. Obviously you can and should like whatever posts you want on here, and me and your other followers can easily protect ourselves by blocking pro-ana tags — I guess I just wanted you to know that someone who doesn’t even know you is genuinely worried about you, and hates to see you unable to see how beautiful and valuable you are.

I get the relapsing stuff too; I hadn’t restricted in almost 10 years, but then last December I went through some major life/career/medication changes and gained like 30 lbs in a couple of months, and all the ED and SH voices came right back. The best things I’ve done for myself since then are the simple ones: 1) remind myself that if it was my fiancée feeling this way I would be endlessly telling her how beautiful she is, 2) try to remember that gaining weight isn’t a moral or health failure and is actually a natural part of getting older, and 3) buy myself some cute new underwear and comfy new pants so I didn’t feel horrible every time I tried to get dressed for the day. It’s taken months, and in the mean time I got a new job, this weird old kink of mine resurfaced (possibly as a coping mechanism? idk man, the human brain is wild), and I yanked myself back into a healthier relationship with food and mirrors, but it was and continues to be fucking HARD.

Long story not-so-short, I am really proud of you for making it this far. I am proud of you for being here, and I am proud of every time you push back against those voices, alluring as they might be. Recovery is the toughest, weirdest thing, but it is so worth it. I hope your husband is loving on you lots, I hope you had a wonderful Halloween looking adorable in your Violet costume, and I hope you’ll reach out if you ever need someone to talk to. I’m leaving this as an ask bc I don’t wanna risk making you feel uncomfortable, but feel free to DM me instead of posting/answering it publicly if you’d rather.

💜💜💜

Hello Not So Anon Anymore,

I appreciate you reaching out again and for sharing some of your and your fiancee's stories. One thing I find helpful is hearing about other people's experiences, even if it's not ED related. Hearing how someone has fought and struggled and conquered is good inspiration that maybe not all is lost.

To be honest, I was taken aback by your first ask. When I started reading I was like this person is leaving a compliment, which took a left turn. Not a bad left turn, just an unexpected one. It made me face what I had been doing and it was a good example of how personal struggles don't only affect you.

Oof, I totally understand that crankiness and feeling irritated. I've snapped at people when not meaning to. When you've got a constant stream of thoughts bombarding you it can be easy to lose it, not that it's okay to do so.

Like you said isolation is no bueno. Thinking about my relapse, I did isolate. I'd think maybe I can reach out to a friend, but then I'd stop myself. They've got a lot going on and it always seems like something is wrong when I connect with them, how annoying of me, what a burden. I noticed that no one reached out to me. Not that I was expecting anyone to reach out, but usually friendships go both ways. Both people contact each other and no one did. My ED was like "see, they don't even like you." And that only made the isolation worse.

I also didn't talk to my husband because he had a lot going on and I didn't want to him to try to impede my "progress." Of course I finally told him after several months. He was upset because I wasn't talking to anyone about it, and I don't blame him for feeling that way. Who wouldn't want their significant other to be healthy?

The interesting thing is I was big and I was experiencing symptoms that someone would assume an underweight person faced. I was lightheaded a lot. There were times I wasn't near anything to hold on to so I would crouch to the floor. (I even had a dream of it happening out in public. Tried to will myself to keep walking, but eventually crouched down because I didn't want to fall.) I've never been that lightheaded ever, but I didn't lose much weight when I was younger which is why I never experienced that before. I was scared that my symptoms were increasing in frequency, but at the same time it was a sign that it was "working." I eventually fainted one night. I've never fainted and it was so scary. I didn't even know I had fainted when I first woke up. I literally thought I had somehow fallen out of bed. My memory came back quickly and I couldn't believe I had fainted. Me, overweight, had fainted? I always associated that with those who were underweight, who were actually sick, who actually looked the part of an anorexic. But something that the general population don't seem understand is that it doesn't matter your weight or size - EDs don't discriminate. Starving is starving, regardless of size the body needs energy and when you deplete it the body will respond like a car without gas. It will breakdown.

Also, I totally agree that paying more attention to the bloating and such is a coping mechanism. In a way I think I'm trying to beat "it" first. Like making fun of myself first before someone else can. Making myself big before recovery or my lipedema can. I wish this wasn't such a mind fuck.

I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Being vulnerable is challenging and it's brave you decided to not be Anon this time. And same - reach out to talk, even if you'd like to unpack what's going on with your fiancee. I really hope everything works out for you both. 💙

Thanks again.

[ddarker-dreams]

hello lock! i just wanted to say that i really enjoy your writing, especially your scaramouche content. i also love him a lot, so it's always nice to read your stories about him!

i was wondering if you had any advice for people starting a new yandere blog? i've posted some stuff already but admittedly i know nothing about how tumblr works, so i wanted to ask for some advice from one of my favourite writers!

thanks in advance, and have a nice day <3

hello hello!! thank you so very much, i'm glad you like the scaramouche stories!! it makes me happy to hear that 💖💖

as for advice on starting up a yandere blog, let's see... here are some things i'd recommend keeping in mind:

it's completely normal not to get much interaction within the first month or so of posting, don't let it get you down! i don't think i consistently started to get asks until around six months into posting frequently on this blog. just keep posting your writing and putting it into the tags.

be wary of requests, i've seen so many writers burn themselves out because they try to write for every request they receive. it's okay to prioritize the ideas you like the most and not write for everything that gets sent in. if anyone tries to guilt you for that, it's their issue, writers are human above all else. not beep boop content output machines.

honestly, the best way to get the ball rolling (imo) is to just go crazy for the characters you like. you'll end up attracting followers who are fans of that character too, you can build off their ideas and vice versa. it's really fun. idk why, maybe it's because i'm such a people pleaser at heart, but i used to feel like i need to write for a wide variety of characters rather than just focusing on the couple i adore the most. this might just be a me thing though. you'll feel the most inspired when writing for your all time favorites, so in case other people feel/have felt that way too, it's okay to focus on your faves.

if you're starting to feel burnt out, you don't have to soldier on. it's okay to take breaks and catch your breath. while there are times where writing is difficult, if it's ever getting to the point you're dreading it more than enjoying it, taking a step back is the most helpful thing you can do for yourself. have fun with your hobby and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

[shadowredfeline]

Four in One Post

For my A-Pal's two On These Day Posts.

You know that Red Panda does look a lot like Retsuko from Aggretsuko. And not only does she have her show on Netflix, I remember she got to be in Hello Kitty Island Adventure when I always play it on my iPad. But a good game for my A-Pal to give a try. Plus the settings would always put us at ease with the music and all. And for the Chips and Candy. I do have some Barbecue chips that I might have as a snack, but since my sister's birthday is in 3 days, her Work Place is going to celebrate her birthday with her since we're going to have a party with her in 4 days. That's what my sister decided to do for a Two Day Birthday thing. Which happened the same with me 2 years ago when I went Swimming with my Social Club on a Saturday and had my birthday on Sunday. And I think it's gonna happen to me again when I go to the Social Club in 3 months. And I have plenty of Kit Kat candy bars. And if my A-Pal did post about a Kit Kat, I might pick one up at the center, but I just had Broccoli and I am going easy on the Sweets. Even my sister just tried out her new Cotton Candy machine she got. But man my mom and my sister are so obsessed with wanting to start running businesses with food as well as for the Church.

And for my P-Pal's On These Day Posts

That would be a good idea. We can even have our OC Couples on a cruise together and when Summer comes into my Country, we can also have them at the beach too, or go to a Studio as well for a tour or a competition on a game show.

And with Earth day one.

Normally I wasn't a fan of celebrating that day, not even when my Social Club had to do some lame gardening stuff. But I do like to go for a walk around the town to see the environment. And I didn't make any Earth day stuff since I just finished making a Story based on a Cartoon I used to watch as a kid. As well as for playing video games and doing Voice Chat with some of my friends.

[chaotictarlos]

words of kindness

I've been wanting to make a post all day but haven't had the chance because I just got home from spending time with friends. I've tried to think of what to say, of what message I wanted to put out there after all that's happened this week and the past couple of months but it can be hard to find the words. So I'm still a bit at a lost of what to say, but I'm going to try and we'll see what comes out.

I truly appreciate the Lone Star fandom. When I came into it, at first I just lurked in the shadows because I was coming off a truly horrific fandom experience that I don't wish for anyone to go through and I was terrified to engage in the fandom. I stayed in my little corner, with a blog under a different name, and just watched and tried to figure out if I wanted to dip my toes in. When season 3 started I live-blogged a little bit but it was well it was a couple of episodes into season 3 before I made my url what it is today and fully stepped into the Lone Star fandom and started to write fics for it. It was truly a better experience than I've ever had in fandom. Everyone was so nice and supportive and encouraging. I still think there are a lot of nice and encouraging people in the fandom, the negative voices have just been louder lately. And I'm not talking about negative opinions or thoughts, but people who are going out of their way to attack people who create content for this fandom.

To the Lone Star fandom as a whole: Thank you everyone who blesses us each day with a new creation, whether it be gif sets, art, fan fiction, meta posts whatever it is that you make, thank you. You are the reason why fandoms thrive the way they do. Fandoms are nothing without fandom creations that keep fans engaged during the off-seasons and time between episodes. Thank you for blessing us with your talents, for being vulnerable and for sharing your creations with us. I know how hard it can be to pour yourself into something and sharing it for the internet to see. It can be so daunting and it's amazing that so many of you do it. Thank you for creating in your free time. I hope you know that people do value you and value the time that you put into the things that you posts.

And thank you to those who might not create things but leave comments and likes on the things that people create. Thank you for being cheerleaders and giving motivation to those who might struggle with it at times. I know personally that I wouldn't be able to do or post half of what I do. You're appreciated so so so much.

thank you to everyone who follows me, talks to me, and engages in my content in any way, know that I appreciate each and every one of you and I am so glad that I get to be in this fandom with all of you. I love you all, my DMs are always open and I am always more than happy to chat!

[rasp-passion-tea]

A small (big) update/catch-up post for anyone curious on where I've been and where I'll be:

*rides in on a skateboard with sunglasses and a mocktail in hand* yo

The past couple of years, I've been pretty M.I.A. I'd feel bad if I'd have any remaining folks who cared about me are left in the dark (as much as that anxious part of me will try to convince myself otherwise, I did build genuine connections on here 🥰). There also just might happen to be old inactive friends of mine who might randomly wonder where that random raspberry girl on tumblr ended up only to come back to see that she might've disappeared,,, or been sold on the dark web 🧐. There could also be any eventual new people to our small community to wonder that. So y’know what 🤔 I'll keep a little post up top so people can know (also, it'd be nice to give a speech once more to my imaginary audience c:)

With that said, I'll ramble about sum up under the cut:

So, where ya been, Rasp?

Well, to start things off, I'm doing really good :D looking back, I might've given people the vibe I was majorly depressed and that might've woried some people 🥲 it was never anything major, but I was still dealing with some teenage girl stuff, and this blog and ship and the fanbase I joined because of it became my mini safe spot. Simply put, I didn't have any sources to be able to properly word that to. I have that now and feel much more grounded and capable, and that's all I could've wanted years ago :)

You might've already guessed, but I've been busy lately, with adult stuff specifically. Yup, the fandoms resident little sister is grown now. She's working!! And she's in college!!! Wow!!1! I HAVE BASICALLY NO MORE FREE TIME!!!!!!!11! :DDD That, and a bunch of other reasons have made it harder to focus on one thing at a time, which is why I've been pretty scarce on this app, and online on general.

Soooo how ya been then, Rasp?

Uhhh... good question. Fine, I suppose 😗 kinda just existing right now. I have a feeling a lot of that has to do with me being unmediacted at the moment, so I haven't been able to do a lot of the things I love the past few years. Sooo... if you're wondering why I never posted those fics I teased in the past, that's why 🥲 I have a feeling I will one day, though. Just a matter of time. Speaking of, let's go into my last point:

Does that mean you're abandoning this account, Rasp?? ☹️

Mmm not quite. I've been popping in every couple of months, and I might keep doing that. But I definitely won't be as active as I used to. Couple reasons:

I mentioned a lot of reasons why, but I've been. Very busy 🥲 being online hasn't been at the forefront of my mind lately, so I've decided to not stress about it right now. Like I mentioned before, I'd like to come back to all this one day, but that's not now. Speaking of:

As much as I feel bad saying this, once the show ended, the ship and its fandom got really quiet. For me that makes it harder to participate in things if there's not a large community. I've joined other fandoms cuz of that, but not like this one... this fandom was special...... *looks off into the distance*

Bonus reason that ties into the last one: a lot of my friends are inactive with me not having any way to reach out, and that makes meeee very sadddd 😔 So if anyone I've met happens to see this:

...heyyy 🤪 I hope you got something out of this post,,,, like I said before, I'm unmedicated and have been very scatterbrained recently, but I tried to make this as cohesive as possible 😭 guess to end this off I'll link some other socials:

My side blog: rasp-passion-two

(Also pretty inactive on there, but if you wanna see what I've been into lately, that's the spot (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty sure I never ended up sharing it fsr lol)

My discord: rasp-passion tea#5877

(I'm not active in servers anymore cuz I think I grew out of using discord, but if you wanna chat? Let's chat (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ we could also do it on here but vsiwjsisvqisgwu)

...that's it lol. I think I'm kind of an enigma on here now, but thats alright. Uhhhh not sure how to "close" this off, so I guess I'll just say: if you read this whole thing?

🤍🖤🩶

^me rn

I'll see you all when I see you, but I'll always be here!!

~Tayah, AKA Rasp (and yes, it's pronounced "Razz" 😤👋🏽)

[lingocurio]

Urrrgggghhh!

So I have another account but it seems to be shadow banned or something and I don't know why. It's a newish account but not brand new, several months old. I created it because I was trying out Poshmark and there is an option on Poshmark to link to your Tumblr account to share your Poshmark items. So I thought, hey, why not, let's see what this Tumblr thing is all about.

I created the account from my phone and was using it only on my phone. I shared a couple of items from Poshmark, and made a couple of posts directly in Tumblr about my Poshmark items. I reblogged a couple of other people's posts and followed a couple of blogs. I can't remember if I used tags, I don't think I was aware of them yet. And then I kind of lost interest/forgot about my Tumblr account.

A couple of days ago I remembered my Tumblr account and got re-interested in exploring it some more. I discovered tags and made some posts about learning to use Tumblr using tags like newbie and new to tumblr. I discovered that I can filter for tags and see a feed of Latest Posts. After a while I started noticing that I could see people posting after me but I never saw any of MY posts. I tried various searches and tags but nothing ever showed up. Then I noticed that I couldn't make comments on posts. Not even on my own posts!

So that's why I created this second account (using a different email, completely separate from my first Tumblr account) to test things out. Couldn't find any of my posts from my first account. Couldn't even FIND my first account! Tried making a comment on someone else's post with this account. Yep, I was able to make a comment. Flip back to my first account. Search for this account. Yep, I could find it. Look in the feed to see if I could see the comment I made on someone else's post. Yep, I can see it.

Flip back to this account. Tried making a post. Didn't show up in the feed. HOWEVER, after some searching for solutions, I found out that your posts might take a little while to get indexed and show up in the feed. Ok fine.

So that was yesterday. Today, go into my first account. Still can't see any of my posts in any of the feeds. Still can't make comments. Look in the newbie tag Latest Posts feed, and lo and behold, the post I made yesterday from THIS account is there! I try to comment on it. Can't. I heart the post. Flip over to this account. No heart. There is a heart from some other random person, but not from me from my first account.

So now I've confirmed it. My first account has been shadow banned for some reason. So what do I do? I still want that account, because it's for a different purpose to this one. I can send a request to Tumblr to fix it but apparently I shouldn't hold my breath for any sort of response. Is that true? Should I just delete that Tumblr and start over? Or will it still not work if I use the same email?

In conclusion, we end as we began: Urrrgggghhh!

[luckyladylily]

Yeah I've seen this post going around and it's about as wrong as you can get.

This is what y'all don't get. The core of the site is blogging to us. Not to the company that owns tumblr. To the company that owns tumblr, the core of tumblr is an advertisement platform - the same core that all the major social media platforms currently use.

See, here's the thing. Besides tumblr live, almost every major push on the site for the past three years has been one form or another of alternate monitization - searching for a non advertisement based income model to at least supplement the core advertisement model. Them "scaling back" on their "previous approach" means they gave up on alternate monetization. They've given up on selling tumblr to us. So now we go back to the core, default assumption of all social media, the users are the product you sell to advertisers.

But you don't have to take my word for it. Just wait a few months, and if we don't get more random nonsense trying to sell stuff to the users, then you know. If we don't get more stuff like blaze or subscriptions or check marks or merch, then you know. (And how long has it been since tumblr has tried to sell us some new pointless boondoggle for 3 bucks? Been a while now, hasn't it?)

What people somehow are overlooking is that a company doesn't cut half the development staff when they believe in developing the long term viability of a piece of software that is currently unprofitable. You cut half your development staff when you've given up on a piece of software and you are prepping it to look good for a sale to another company. Part of that is keeping the current user base mostly intact, and they will tell you whatever PR speak and lies they feel like in service of that goal.

Tumblr is unprofitable. They've significantly cut their dev staff, apparently given up on developing tumblr into an actually profitable site. They are not going to pay $30 million dollars a year for us to have a free ride forever. If they don't successfully sell tumblr the site goes away in a couple years. If they had not cut the dev staff so heavily I would entertain other ideas but there is no universe in which you cut half the development staff of a site you are trying to develop into something profitable.

Now I'm sticking around til the servers shut off, but in the mean time there is no reason not to look at other options. Get alternate contact methods for anyone you care to keep on communication with. Save posts you care about and back up anything you want to keep.

Tumblr might get sold and someone new will be stuck with the idiot ball trying to make this site profitable for 2-5 years, but don't count on it. Nothing lasts forever.

THis news is better than gay sex