#I totally didn't forget how to tag this series

[bloodlinemadness]

Gif is mine.

Credit to @tsunami-of-tears for the divider!

A/N: This is the ending & final chapter to Stress. Thank you to those who have supported & read the series! Appreciate it 🩵 It is very long & it's a pretty sad chapter so be aware & have tissues if you need it 😭 For the Tama girlies, there's a poll link for you at the end.

Honestly have no damn clue why Tumblr hid Part 3 from the search 😩 So I'm sure a lot of people haven't read it. So if you haven't Here it is. Tumblr made it flop *sigh*

Pairings: Roman Reigns (bf) x Fem! Reader

Tama Tonga (ex) x Fem! Reader

Summary: Relationship tensions rise between Y/N & Roman. Tama is paid a little visit & reconnects with Y/N. However, something catches his eye.

Warnings ⚠️: 18+ Swearing, angst, fluff, implied smut, mentions of sex, emotional wreckage, emotional breakdown, mentions of mental illness, rehabilitation, violence, prison, Yandere Tama, force being used, jealousy, mentions of eating disorder, couple arguments. Sad. NOT PROOFREAD!

‼️ If situations like this make you uncomfortable, keep scrolling this isn't for you. Unnecessary comments or reblogs will be blocked. ‼️

Tags: @isabella-2025 @wishyouloveme @yana3sworld @reignsboy19 @jstarr86 @rose-bliss

(Depending on the poll results if y'all like Tama, I know someone does lol & still want to be tagged or if anyone else wants to be added lmk).

WC: 5k (Yeah grab popcorn 🍿😭)

Of course this is written for fictional purposes only & is based on their characters, it does not depict who they are in real life. Respect to them & their families.

Keep forgetting to say this but Toko means bro/sibling in Tongan

Enjoy ☝🏽

Roman was out on the balcony looking into the city lights ahead of him. His mind wandered, processing the day him & you just went through. He wished he would've known about your absence earlier, he wished he didn't get so occupied with the fans & that he'd politely cut it short with them letting them know he had to leave with you, he wished he would've kicked Tama's ass out of Waffle House right away so you didn't get hurt, same with Jimmy.

He had so many regrets, he almost lost you to Tama. He couldn't imagine what Tama would've done if he didn't get there quickly, but at the same time if he followed the options he thought about earlier this situation could've been prevented. Roman's eyes watered up thinking about it all, he buried his face in his hands, taking deep breaths. After he calmed down, he went inside to your shared bedroom to check on you. He felt his stomach twist looking at what he saw in front of him, he saw you folding up your clothes & packing them in your luggage.

"Are we going somewhere?" he asked. "We're not, I am" you said. He let out a little chuckle, "without me babygirl? Well damn, have fun & come back soon. I'm going to miss you being away," he admitted. You took a deep breath, knowing what you were going to say, you just didn't know how you were going to say it, but you needed to, and it was going to hurt the both of you, you had butterflies in your stomach, but here it goes. "Roman, I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore, I'm so sorry" you revealed.

Roman felt his heart shatter into a million pieces, his world fell apart. His eyes widened in shock, he couldn't believe what you just said. A 2 year friendship full of supporting each other's careers, traveling together, making inside jokes, being each other's shoulder to cry on. 3 years of dating, going out, giving each other the world, picking each other up when one of you are feeling down, moving in, meeting each other's families, and the times you both spent loving each other. A total of 5 years of being together all gone down the drain & ending right there.

Roman felt cotton grow in his throat, he was numb to what you just said, he couldn't believe it. You felt your eyes water up, but still continuing to pack. You knew he was going to be speechless after you said those heartbreaking words. You loved him a lot, but you didn't have a choice but to do this. There was nothing, but silence between you two as you packed. You finished packing up your belongings, you put your cosmetics bag on top of your luggage, and wheeled your luggage towards the door.

As you made your way past Roman, his hand reached out, gripping the top of the luggage handle stopping you in your tracks. "You're not going anywhere" he said firmly. You looked up at him & he looked you in the eyes, his eyes watering up. "Roman please" you pleaded. "Why? Why do you want to end this Y/N? What did I do wrong? Please, tell me. We can fix this. I'll change my ways for you" he pleaded.

You started tearing up, lip quivering "Roman, it's for the best. Please let me go" your voice started to crack. "I'm not letting you go, I need an honest reason Y/N" his voice shaking. He gripped your shoulders "please tell me, what can I do to be a better man, a better boyfriend?" he asked. "Stop!" you said putting your hand up. "It's not you, you're the best boyfriend I ever had. Please don't make my actions think that you're not enough for me, ever!" you cried.

"Then what is it! Why are you leaving me?" he questioned loudly. "IT'S ME OKAY?!" you shouted. He looked at you in shock, you continued. "It's me & my past catching up" you confessed. You didn't want Roman to beat himself up for letting you go, the honest truth needed to be revealed. "It's because of me. Tama put us through so much shit today, he came after me & harmed you & your family along the way. You all got into this mess because of me. He hurt you Ro, he hurt Jimmy, he threatened to hurt Jey, Solo & Jacob. Hell, he turned against his own brother because of me. I'm the problem, I need to leave your life so he doesn't trouble you & your family anymore, it's best we both part ways Roman" you cried.

Roman shook his head "you don't mean that" he says tearing up. "Babe, it's for the best, please. If I leave he won't hurt any of you anymore." you reasoned. "I don't care about him hurting us! We're in this battle together, babygirl. You're the best thing that has ever walked into my life. My life has changed ever since I met you. You radiate so much light & beauty. I can't see a future with anyone else, but you. I will do anything to protect you even if it's from Tama. I want to spend every second with you. Even if it means fending off Tama, I'll still stand by your side, because I love you, he doesn't intimidate me at all, I'll kick his ass" he said spilling his heart out.

You covered your mouth, tearing up. "I'll always fight for you" said Roman "even if it's against an ex of yours. I want to be on this journey with you" said Roman. "I don't know what to say" you cried. "I don't want to lose you, Roman." "Then stay sweetheart, we'll fight these battles together. You are never alone. You don't have to fight these battles alone. I'm here to love & support you through your ups & downs" he said, "if you want, we'll move from this place. Move far away where Tama won't find us" he said.

Everything that Roman said made your attachment to him grow. You didn't want to leave him, but you didn't want him to get hurt either. But, he was willing to do anything for you. Your life got better, because of him. He didn't want to let go of you & neither did you. What was Tama going to do anyway? He's with the authorities now & under their supervision. One thing's for sure, breaking up you & Roman was what Tama wanted so he can have you. You couldn't let him win. You couldn't prove yourself weak & prove him right. Tama broke your heart, he broke you & he sure had some nerve to come back into your life, especially to seek an opportunity to even get back with you for his own greed.

The thing was you weren't alone in this fight, you had your amazing boyfriend & his family by your side. He was willing to do anything for you & you were willing to do anything for him. The love between you & Roman was strong & it still managed to keep Tama out no matter how much he tried to get back in. You didn't want that bond to end, you wanted to continue loving Roman & he wanted to continue loving you. You saw a future with him too.

You nodded "okay" you smiled. He smiled big, playfully tackling you onto the bed with a hug. He pressed his lips onto yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You both shared an emotional & heart full kiss. All is well again. You couldn't believe you almost ended your 5 year bond with Roman, what were you thinking? He pulled away from you & looked deep into your eyes, his pupils turning a darker shade. "You're in so much trouble for scaring me like that earlier" he said nipping at your neck, making you giggle. "I'm gonna punish you" he winked. "Please do" you teased.

"But wait" you said as he took off his shirt, you nearly drooled looking at his body. "What is it?" he asked, you pulled him back down to you, kissing him with full on passion, he immediately returned it. You pulled away pressing your forehead against his "thank you, thank you for everything. You're the true definition of a Real-life Superhero" you said. He smiled showing his pearly whites. "I'm always going to protect you, you mean the world to me babygirl" he said kissing your forehead. "You & your family definitely came in like the Avengers that day" you giggled, making him laugh.

"The Avengers are great, but The Bloodline is the real-deal" he smirked. He placed kisses all over your neck as you ran your nails over his back. He stopped his kisses examining the hickey on your neck Tama gave you, he traced his finger over it. You figured that's what he was looking at when he stopped. "I'm so sorry Roman" you said softly growing emotional, you knew he was going to lash out any minute, and he has every right to. "I swear, when that man's out, I will smack the lips off his face if he ever comes near you or us again. I don't even want to see his shadow or else he's gonna have to sleep with one eye open every night" He gritted through his teeth.

"RoRo" you said getting his attention, "let's forget about him & focus on us. He's in the past now." you said. " He nodded, he removed your shirt & you wrapped your legs around his waist. That night you both loved each other to the fullest, with kisses & touches. You both never let each other go. You were his & he was yours, always.

One Month Later

"Uce, are you sure you want to do this?" asked Jimmy. "It's just for the sake of sanity & a peace of mind" said Roman. "Did Y/N agree to it though?" asked Jey. "She did, she wants to do it" nodded Roman. "I know there's so much going on, but she's willing to make changes, she's going to switch to remote learning until her transfer progress is complete with the new school" said Roman. They both nodded in understanding.

"How's your ankle Jim?" asked Roman. "It's healing up, I'm just glad the cut wasn't too deep" he said pulling up the cuff of his pant leg to check his ankle. Jey shook his head "Grateful that nothing worse happened to you, Uce" he said giving him a side hug. "The worst that would've happened is him biting my ankle" said Jimmy shaking his head. "Jim!" exclaimed Roman, "what? It's true!" said Jimmy. "He's going through shit, stop man" said Jey playfully shoving his shoulder. "Well sorry, but it still doesn't give an excuse for him to cut me like a pork chop, damn!" said Jimmy.

You & Roman both got out of the SUV, you looked around the parking lot, barbed wires everywhere over the fences, you had your arm wrapped around his as you both went inside. Security at the front desk spoke & escorted the both of you into the elevator, it took the 3 of you to the top floor. Once you both got out, the both of you got screened by security, the officer punched in on the pin pad & swiped his card leading you both into the wing. You both went down the hall entering another door. You & Roman came face to face with Tonga Loa, he nodded at you both.

"Hey Loa" you said going over to hug him, he returned the hug. You pulled away & cupped his cheeks looking into his eyes "are you okay?" you asked softly. He nodded "trying to take it one day at a time" he breathed. You nodded "I'm so sorry" you apologized. "It's not your fault, I wish I would've seen the signs earlier & act upon it" he said. "It's going to be okay" you whispered letting him go, he nodded.

Roman came over & gave him a hug. "All good?" he asked "yeah, I'm just glad this whole thing is being solved & addressed, better late than never I guess" said Loa. Roman nodded "I appreciate you for stepping in to help weeks ago, I know it must've been tough to step up to your older brother. So thank you & I apologize for yelling at you in front of everyone at Waffle House the other day" said Roman. "It's all good & of course, I didn't want him to hurt anyone & himself" said Loa. Roman patted his shoulder.

A guard called the 3 of you over to a window. Loa sat down in front of it. "How's he doing?" asked Loa looking up at the guard. "He's progressing, and getting better. However, he hasn't been talking & making direct eye contact, also skipping meals. But, we'll continue to work with him." said the guard. Loa nodded "I'm just glad he's getting the help he needs & is progressing. Maybe he'll talk to me" he said.

The guard made the radio call to his coworker. You & Roman stayed leaned against the wall behind Loa watching everything. Another guard from the other side of the window opened the door coming in, & held it open. There he was, he took slow steps into the room. You took in his appearance, it's been a month since you've last seen him & it seems like rehabilitation has done a lot to him. Although, the guard mentioned that he's getting better, it seemed like it has mentally took a toll on him to fight for the betterment of himself. His curly hair was disleveled & messy, his jumpsuit had wrinkles all over, beard was overgrown, his face was pale & there were dark circles under his eyes.

He sat down on the chair, looking down & not at the bullet proof glass barrier separating him & his brother. "Feel free to speak into that mic, he'll be listening from the speaker in front of him" instructed the guard, Loa nodded. "Hey Toko, it's been a while. I hope you're doing okay. I miss you so much, not just me, but everyone at home misses you" said Loa. No reaction from Tama he just kept looking down at the speaker in front of him listening, but refusing to look at his brother.

You felt your heart sink, seeing Tama in this condition really hurt you. Yes, he hurt you in the past, and he clearly needed help because he wouldn't leave you alone & he hurt your boyfriend & his cousin, but you really wished you could've done something, maybe be a bit more kinder & compassionate to him rather than hesitant & rude when he wanted to talk to you. You felt somewhat guilty on the inside blaming yourself for this.

You looked over at Roman while Tonga was talking to his brother, he smiled at you. "This is all my fault" you said. Roman raised his brow "what do you mean?" he asked. "If I was more kinder & compassionate towards him when he wanted to talk to me at Waffle House, this wouldn't have happened. He wouldn't be in there, today" you frowned. "Will you stop blaming yourself, babygirl?" whispered Roman. "If Tama wanted to talk to you & you were in a rush to leave, he could've been more understanding & waited another time to talk to you rather than dragging you to the smoking patio."

"Maybe it was killing him inside & he just really wanted to say it" you said. "Yeah but still, grabbing your wrist & taking you by force was aggressive of him, he's lucky I wasn't there to catch that & he could've been understanding knowing you moved on. Just my 2 cents. Do what you want with that information, but quit blaming yourself. I know you're an empath but you got to be empathetic towards you, he could've hurt you, babygirl" said Roman. You nodded "you're right, I just hope he gets better soon" you sympathized looking over at the two brothers.

"Anyway, I will be back & we're praying everyday for you. Can't wait to see you come home & for us to go to work together & Tongan twist all those tag teams. Ain't nobody realer than us, those belts are waiting for us & everyone is waiting for you at home & work, Fale says he can't wait to have a game of Call of Duty with you. Get better soon brother. I love you" said Loa as his voice cracked, the guard patted his back. Still Tama remained in the same position & pose listening to his brother's words, he didn't move nor react, he didn't make eye contact. Loa got up & came over to you & Roman.

"Are you sure you want to do this Y/N?" he asked confirming, you nodded. "You're okay with this?" he asked Roman, he nodded. "I know we've had our differences, and went back & forth. I'm very upset with his past actions & especially with what he did to Y/N & my family. Clearly he's not okay, but he's human & deserves to get better. Y/N & I will be moving, but hearing about Tama, I hope her visit gives him some light before we head up North" said Roman. Loa half smiled "appreciate you Uce." Roman motioned for you to go & talk to Tama, you nodded, he kissed your head for comfort & to wish you luck.

You walked towards the seat in front of the window & sat down. "Whenever you're ready" said the guard. You nodded & took a deep breath looking up at the man sitting there motionless. "Hey Tama" you cooed, he scratched his beard, you froze at the movement, but he was still looking down. You took a deep breath & you spoke again. "I know it's been a while since we've last seen each other. I hope you're doing okay" you spoke softly. You stopped after your sentence & observed him.

He slowly started to lift his head up, his brown & tired eyes making eye contact with you. You felt a knot in your stomach & gulped as he looked at you. "That's the most I've seen him react Bob ever since he got here! He's making eye contact!" exclaimed the guard behind you to the other guard behind Tama on the radio. "Oh my God, he's looking up" said a stunned Roman. Loa started to get emotional seeing his brother moving around. Tama started looking around taking in the environment he's in. The guard rubbed his shoulder, "you're safe & in good hands buddy, don't worry" he assured, calming him down.

Tama looked back at you. You smiled at him, eyes starting to water up. "I heard a lot has happened, I've heard you've been doing good & making progress which is great, but you haven't been feeling yourself lately, you haven't been eating nor sleeping" he continued to look at you. "I understand it's tough to take all of this in & you've never been in this situation before. But please, take care of yourself. You have so much to live for Tama, so many memories to create, so much to achieve & you've achieved so much, you're creating a legacy, people are waiting to see you, people look up to you including your own brother, you are one of a kind Tama, you make people laugh on, you make people believe in themselves, you are a star" you said.

You didn't know what else to say, Tama did hurt you, but he was a part of your life, someone you loved, worked & grew up with. It really broke your heart to see him like this, but you wanted to give him some hope so he can get better, live his life in a healthy & better way & move forward from you, hopefully. "Tama, I just want you to get better & I'm sending you all the support. Please don't hurt yourself. There's so many people who care about you, I still care about you. The more you take care of yourself, the quick you can get out of here" you encouraged.

"Sending you all the light & healing. Everything is going to be okay, you'll find the girl of your dreams, you'll get those titles with your brother & rule the tag team division, you'll live a happy life. I wish you nothing but the best" you said tearing up as you placed your hand on the glass window. Tama leaned forward looking at you, his head slowly turned to the side & looked at your hand planted on the barrier in between you two. He lifted his hand up which was shaking, and placed it over yours. You smiled through the tears.

Tama's lips started to quiver looking at both of your hands on top of each other, separated by the plain window. He looked at you, moving his head closer towards the window eyes getting watery. Tears ran down both of your faces as you looked at each other, even the guards on both sides were touched. Roman was touched, even though he gets protective over you sometimes, and he can't stand Tama, he let this one slide for the better. Loa smiled through his tears looking at his brother's emotions.

Roman pulled him into a hug as he cried onto his shoulder "there, there you big baby" he joked. "Fucking rude, your cousins were right" scoffed Loa, "I'm kidding, cry your heart out, I'm glad he's responding & I need a word with those cousins" said Roman. Tama pressed his forehead against the window crying, you got closer to his face, looking at him. "It's okay, I'm here now. You're going to be okay. Deep breaths, love" you assured. He stuttered out your name, you nodded at him smiling in tears.

You pressed your forehead against his on the window as you both had a moment to yourselves, tears flowing down from both of your faces. His tear stained face turned & looked at your hand, something caught his attention. He wiped his tears away & moved his head over to your hand, inspecting it. You looked up only to see that Tama wasn't in front of you. You looked at your hand & saw him looking at it. Tama saw the sparkle of the sapphire diamond mounted with a silver platinum ring sitting on your finger.

Yup, Roman proposed.

You two were engaged to be married. He did it 2 weeks after the incident. He proposed to you at a restaurant in downtown on your date night. He has never been so sure of anything else than to spend the rest of his life with you. You both loved each other, brought the best out of each other, and would fight the world for each other, your love was invincible. The ring solidified that & Tama was staring at it knowing he lost you.

"Shit!" cursed Roman. "What happened?" asked Loa. "I told her to take the ring off before she got here!" said Roman facepalming himself. Loa turned & saw his brother eyeing your hand. Your heart stopped, you didn't know what to do. Tama looked at you, you felt chills all over you. His expression slowly changed from sentimental to envious, his eyes darkened. You shook your head, trying to show him that he shouldn't let his anger & emotions get the best of him, clearly that didn't stop him. His nostrils flared, and his face twitched. He started to scream, bawling & banging his fists against the window startling you & the guards. Roman immediately ran over, pulling you up from your seat, directing you away from the window, and taking you towards the wall where you both were leaned against earlier. All you can hear are his faint screams muffled by the window.

"Backup! Visitor window #4, back of house immediately!" yelled the guard on the radio. The guard behind Tama tried to calm him down, but Tama kept on resisting. "Take it easy buddy!" the guard next to you said through the mic. More guards arrived holding onto Tama & carefully escorting him out of the visiting room.

Loa shook his head tearing up, you teared up thinking everything was okay, but it seems like he needed more time to get better & you showing up wasn't probably the best idea since he was after you in the first place. Roman hugged the both of you. You buried your face into his chest crying as he caressed your hair. You both were lead out by the guard.

The 3 of you walked into the parking lot. "Listen, I love y'all & don't take this the wrong way but I don't think y'all should ever come back here" admitted Loa. "No, you're right" said Roman. "Tama was still progressing being rehabilitated & getting better. We showed up during the process when he should've fully recovered. It won't happen again. Y/N & I will be going away." said Roman. Loa nodded "I wish you both the best together & congratulations on the engagement" he said.

"Thank you Loa" you said giving him a hug, he hugged you back. He gave Roman a hug, "take care, praying for Tama, he'll get better" said Roman, he nodded.

Loa, you & Roman parted ways. You & Roman got into the vehicle & drove off.

On the highway

"I told you to take that ring off before we went to the facility. What were you trying to prove?" asked Roman agitated. "I wasn't trying to prove anything I forgot, I'm sorry. I didn't know where to put it" you apologized. Roman shook his head. "You could've put it in your jewelry box, locked it up then give it to Naomi, she would've kept it somewhere safe. She doesn't know what you have in there. Tama went ballistic seeing that. We're trying to heal him" said Roman. "I'm so sorry, I just thought things were progressing, it was dumb of me to stick my hand out like that. God, I feel so horrible now. Tama had to go through that because of me" you said tearing up.

Roman stopped at the red light & leaned over to kiss your head. "There's a lot we didn't know, everyone is different & works in their own way. All I know is that we shouldn't have went there when Tama was healing. But, Tonga called me & told me he wasn't doing well, he calmed down & is improving but like the officer mentioned, he wasn't making eye contact, sleeping nor eating" he said.

"And that's kinda why we went to visit him. I wanted to give him some hope, and shed a light so he can move around around. I know what he did in the past was wrong in so many ways. But, I don't want him to ever hurt himself. I won't bug him again. I just pray that he gets better & fully recovers. I hope he moves on. It seems like he still hasn't at the moment & is disturbed" you said.

"He'll get better, we need to let him be on his own it's only been a month, babygirl" said Roman "give him some time." you nodded & looked out the window. Roman kept driving, he got a phone call from Jimmy mentioning what him & Naomi will bring over to the house party. "No Jim I'm not going to stop by Waffle House for takeout...you already ordered online?" he paused over the phone listening to what his cousin had to say, he sighed "okay, I'll pick it up on the way back. You're welcome." Today marked the last day you & Roman would be staying at your home before moving. So the family decided to throw a going away party even though they'll be joining soon, cause family always stays together.

Roman hung up & glanced over at you then back at the road. "You still care about him don't you?" he said not taking his eyes off the road. You turned your head & looked over at him. "Kind of, but that doesn't mean I want to date him again. I just want him better for him. As long as he's still thinking about me it's going to hurt him more. I don't want him to go through that pain & suffering anymore. He was a part of my life. The first man I trusted, kissed, made love with & everything. Sadly, he did hurt me, and that lead to our break-up, but usually after break-ups people dwell on it for a bit, and then move forward with their lives. Sad truth is, he hasn't. He didn't take it too well." you said.

You looked at Roman he was silent hearing what you had to say. "I'll always love you, thank you for coming into my life, making it better & for everything you've done for me. You mean more than words to me. I'm glad I found you. I can't wait for us to start our married life together" you say holding his hand. He glanced at you briefly smiling before pulling into a parking lot.

"I know you've been feeling down ever since we've returned from there. Thought you could cheer up with some comfort food." said Roman. You looked out the front window & saw the big Dairy Queen sign, you smiled. "I love you Tribal Chief" you said hugging him. "I love you too, babygirl" he smiled.

Roman pulled into the drive thru & you both ordered & received your desserts. You both started finishing off your ice creams in the parking lot. "So good" you sighed in content, "I needed this, thank you RoRo" "of course, I know how much you love your dairy products" he said. You finished yours off, but Roman had something planned, he took some ice cream & put it on the tip of your nose.

You gasped "YOU DID NOT" narrowing your eyes at him. "I sure did" he chuckled. He leaned in & licked it off your nose. "Ugh! You know how I feel about that!" you said crossing your arms. "You know, ever since we got engaged. We didn't really have a proper celebration" he smirked. "Oh my gosh, in a Dairy Queen parking lot really Ro? What if they catch us?" you asked worried. We'll go to the very back" assured Roman. "But the twins, Naomi & the rest of your family are waiting at home!" you said.

"They're adults, they can keep themselves entertained & wait" said Roman. He got out of the driver's side & opened the door to the backseat. You started biting at your nails, "babygirl" he called out, you turned your head around to look at him. "I'm waiting" he said in a deep voice, licking his lips. You swore you could've combusted right there. How did you get so lucky? You smirked at him, got out of the shotgun side & made your way towards the backseat. You went over to his side & climbed into the back side before him. You felt a smack on your ass as you went in. You turned around & cocked a brow at him. "I couldn't help myself" he smirked. He got in after you & shut the door.

The End 💫

A/N: Thanks to those who stuck with the series, followed it & read it till the end. Especially those who provided feedback, reblogged & liked, I appreciate you angels so much! 🩵 Now Tama girlies, I did promise you something at the start of this series. There is a poll out based on if you want an alternate version to this fic where she ends up with Tama.

Here's the link

[ms0milk]

✧ forget-me-nots ✧

trying to pass on some of the appreciation I receive here because it's crazy to break the 4th wall for a second and really internalize how this community is driven by creativity and mutual loving. here's a list in random order of my most dear to me loves + a few nonmutuals whose work i think of often, and the pieces that remind me most of them

when they come for you in the night (thorfinn x reader) | @gardenofnoah

the depth of dive i had to take through your blog to find this is just.. the moment i hit "when you’ve known nothing but cruelty, kindness would surely be terrifying" it was game over. thorfinn came so so to life and this was such a stunnning introduction to your style. youve written so much now and i find myself always totally stunned! but i still always think of this one first. (i give it all to you also spills out of my brain sometimes while im trying to go about the world and was a close contender + this bkg x feral creature little piece of wonderful)

you. that's what happened, you (maki x reader) | @neiptune

you already know, i would be a godless liar if said i didn't think about this weekly; the maki rizz is heretofore unmatched, this piece went above and beyond all req expectations, “hold my hand, they’ll think something’s wrong if you don’t” will be the epitaph on my tombstone. you have the power to make me love all those boys ive never even thought about, and when it was time to write for my actual wife you cracked your knuckles and made sure id never be satisfied by another! (aint that the worst thing you ever heard also reminds me of you sm, eren aot of all people)

unsubtle pro shinsou drabble | @moonbeamwritings

i can feel the heat of shinsou's crush through both our screens it is just perfection!!! what a dweeb. love to send this to myself so its easy to find and reread on the regular

To Shape a Home (bkg x reader) | @kweenkatsuki-fics

not only do the stardew vibes shine through every corner, this fic was carved out with such care it makes the relationship + bkg's growth all the more precious! "yer nothin’ to go nuts over." was an insane introduction and the two of them only got better and better and sweeter and stickier with time (ao3 tagged bc i cant find your beautiful masterlist marquie sosrrrrry)

bittersweet (vash x reader) | @heich0e

i remember exactly where i was when i read this for the first time and I remember how excited I was to find a vash fic after so long loving trigun! i didn't even know the new series had been released yet! this was agonizing, such a soft characterization for both, and the desert was so palpable-- the setting really added so much spice to an already seasoned piece

hanafuda (tanjiro x reader) | @cherryblossomsenpai

way way back in 2022 this was one of the first tanjiro pieces i ever read that really made a romantic argument for him. love his exhaustion, exasperation, fear and relief all wrapped up in one hug "The rest of his lecture is indecipherable," bc he's just crying so hard! total sweetheart, so in character

kirishima drunk girl wrangler | @mechamedusa

dusa🫱🏻‍🫲🏼kirishima ofc your kiri thoughts are unmatched and this one is so quintessential, when i think of him i think of you. he is so wrangler shaped! the perfect boyfriend, your mind is a treasure trove

wedding vows (hashira x reader) | @meowzfordayz

to my very first friend <3 you'd think the piece i associate most with you would be one of giyuus and you write so so impressively much it was hard to decide, but this hashira drabble wrung me by the neck when I first read it, and it still crushes me that your kyojuro isn't a real man i can go outside and hunt for sport. "I have an energy bar in my suit pocket — just in case." a snack for his partner at their own wedding put me down, love your mind always

sleepy rengoku drabble | @vampcubus

my femdom queen! why was it so hard for me to remember which character this was written for? reader's rizz blinded me, thank you for introducing me to dom!reader works bc now every sexy hc i have is filtered through the puppysub filter to make all those big strong boys tastefully more submissive

anything to do with anika~ | @ltadoriyuujl

love your oc, she's such a caring nuclear bomb! loved reading your wonderful chara exploration piece and being able to write for her myself! what a trust fall

the only exception (yuuji x reader) | @touyangel

yuuji is such a boyscout at the end of the world, even in total tragedy he is kind and calm and caring. thinking about "If he wasn’t teaching you how to decapitate something that used to be human, it might have been romantic." this one hurts so so good and very easily convinced me love on him. even with all the choso pieces of yours I adore, this yuuji piece reminds me most of you (this sick choso drabble is a close second!)

menthol (aki x reader) | @cyancherub

the smut hall of fame all time champion on my knees on the floor kicking my feet and smiling, love the characterization in this piece! car guy/childhood friend/overprotective/smoke sess/ so intimate and perfectly filthy. a tried and true classic, this is a blessing

fill my little world right up (aizawa x reader) | @shibaraki

the fic of all time yeah, WHAT a way to be introduced to your writing and what a privilege! this piece is just a beating heart, every action and character introduction felt like a memory, the love was so palpable. reread this one all the time, can't believe it's free, want to bind a copy for my bookshelf

cor unum (sukuna x reader) | @vampyrsm

this was the first writing i ever saw from you and in an effort of solidarity (im finishing a longform fic as well and holy fuck) i've very recently started reading and can already tell how much care you had for this world and its characters. the dedication to setting and history is so cool and rare in reader fics, can't believe you're letting us read all this for free! what a tome, seriously looking forward to it (and this bkg thought abt crowded places! mmm)

i love you more than being seventeen (nanami x reader) | @strawberrystepmom

this fucking guy oh my god, this fic almost put me in the hospital, so so glad you reposted. "hey. I love you." OOhhhHHGoowwAWAWAAAA this is such a timeless character piece-- nanami running away from this word he hates, job he hates, girl he loves, and coming back to it all knowing he'll die and knowing its worth it. i get chills

strawberry stars on my lips (bkg x reader) | @willowser

breaking the rules of speed dating is insanely romantic, probably the most romantic thing someone has ever thought of and this is the piece i think of when i think of your blog. bkg is simultaneously so constipated and so vulnerable i almost feel like i have to cover my eyes for him and it is sugary sweet in the best way. happy hiatus!

[rmd-writes]

2024 Fic Writing Round Up

I've been tagged by @kiwiana-writes @cha-melodius @firenati0n @stereopticons @hippolotamus @porcelainmortal @heartstringsduet @whatsintheboxmh @thisbuildinghasfeelings @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @lemonlyman-dotcom @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @reyesstrand in a couple of versions end of year reviews recently (loved seeing the art ones!!) so I'm going to combine a couple of them because I only have one round up post in me.

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Words and Fics

Words published to ao3: my ao3 stats say the total is 148,658 but that's a lie when you account for the three collabs/co-written fics I've posted this year. I'd estimate that my actual word count is somewhere closer to 70,000-75,000 excluding drabbles.

Fandoms: Red, White & Royal Blue and 911 Lone Star

Most recent drop: Home for the Holidays

Longest fic: Call Me (By My Name) at 65.5k but I didn't write all of those words

Top 3 Fics by Kudos

never the same twice || RWRB || E || 34k || a collaboration with @three-drink-amy @athousandrooms @welcometololaland @indomitable-love @everwitch-magiks (and also bleedingballroomfloor, chasingshadow and ifigo who aren't on tumblr).

Call Me (By My Name) || 911 LS || E || 65.5k || co-written with @welcometololaland

he wrote mine on my upper thigh || RWRB || E || 6.2k

Upcoming Projects for 2025

Lola and I have something that we want to get going in 2025, but the reality is that I've struggled with writing this year and I've got a lot going on in the first part 2025 that will require my creativity so other than my project with Lola, I'm really not sure what I'll be writing. There are a couple of things I'd like to write, but we'll see.

As for the fics I've posted in 2024:

In 2023, I posted 15 fics which weren't just updates to my drabble collections. I'm pretty sure this was a reduction in what I'd posted in 2021/2022. This year, I've continued that downward trend and posted 7 fics, 4 ficlets (less than 1k words), and a smattering of drabbles (ie. strictly 100 words) here on tumblr, some of which have been cross-posted to ao3.

January

lol hello forgetting how to make words

February

if you scroll down, you can see the drabbles I posted in response to some prompts I requested here

March

never the same twice || RWRB || E || 34k || a collaboration with @three-drink-amy @athousandrooms @welcometololaland @indomitable-love @everwitch-magiks (and also bleedingballroomfloor, chasingshadow and ifigo who aren't on tumblr).

The thing about sex with Henry is, it’s never the same twice. Sometimes he moves easily, caught up in the rush, and other times he’s tense and taut and wants Alex to work him loose and take him apart. Sometimes nothing gets him off faster than being talked back to, but other times they both want him to use every inch of authority in his blood, not to let Alex get there until he’s told, until he begs. It’s unpredictable and it’s intoxicating and it’s fun, because Alex has never met a challenge he didn’t love, and he— well, Henry is a challenge, head to toe, beginning to end.

Or: series of snapshots of Alex and Henry’s versatile sex life throughout the years – because the more life changes, the more some things stay the same. A Firstprince birthday celebration collaboration.

Each chapter can be read as a stand alone chapter and I wrote chapter 3.

April-May

[crickets]

June

who am i if i can't carry it all || RWRB || T || 9.4k

Alex lives his life like he has a fire under his ass for no good reason and always has. Except June knows that there is a reason, there always has been. In some ways, June has spent her whole life trying to protect Alex from himself, watching him shove himself down behind impressive wit, gregarious personality and a charming smile in his effort to set the world aflame, despite the fact that he could have done so almost effortlessly, simply by being himself. Or, five times June looks after Alex and one time she realises she doesn’t need to.

Call Me (By My Name) || 911 LS || E || 65.5k || co-written with @welcometololaland

The last thing Carlos Reyes ever expected was to find himself calling a phone sex line. But Austin feels like a small town when it comes to finding a one night stand and desperate times call for desperate measures. The last thing TK Strand ever expected was for someone to mistake his phone number for a phone sex line. But he’s lonely, horny and the guy sounds hot, so he gives into temptation and tries his best to sound professional. OR The accidental phone sex AU.

July

More drabbles

August

he wrote mine on my upper thigh || RWRB || E || 6.2k

Thick thighs save lives. An Olympic rugby AU that features just the barest seasoning of the Olympics and rugby, a sprinkling of sports-flavour, if you will.

September

[crickets]

October

A Christmas Mix Up || 911 LS || T || 952

A seasonally inappropriate Christmas ficlet for the prompt: “And you’re sure this is… for me?”

easy like (any) morning || RWRB || M || 836

For the prompt: Alex eyes the toast Henry handed him a minute ago with horror. "And you eat this voluntarily? For breakfast? Baby, why?"

kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be alright || 911 LS || T || 520

A prompt fill for the dialogue prompt: “Uh, crap. Let’s hope nobody sees that.” Or, TK just really loves kissing his husband.

floating around in ecstasy || RWRB || M || 762

A prompt fill for the dialogue prompt: “did you think I wouldn’t notice?” Or, the brief return of my lawyer au

green is the colour of the grass || 911 LS || M || 1.5k

A prompt fill for the prompt: Two strangers trapped in an elevator together or "Are you wearing my clothes?"

November

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) || 911 LS || E || 16.9k || co-written with @welcometololaland

Sometimes, settling the score is as simple as falling asleep. OR Five times TK pretended to fall asleep during sexy time, and one time he actually did.

December

Home for the Holidays || RWRB || M || 9.3k

When Alex discovers that Henry's Christmas plans involve staying in their apartment alone, he does what any good roommate would do and drags Henry along to his family Christmas at the lake house. It's a win-win situation, since everything is better for Alex when Henry is around. Henry is his person. Completely fucking platonically, of course.

It's very late in the year now, and I feel like everyone’s already done this, so consider this an open tag if anyone wants to share their own round up and hasn't done so yet x

[findafight]

Wait hehe.

Modern au where Eddie has a decent following in social media and is known as both a guy who does ttrpg with a few friends and does cool metal covers of different song genres. He's weird, sure, and will also post two minute video monologues but it's done while camera is mildly unfocused on a worm on the wet pavement, or he'll rant about prog rock and then two minutes later go "I'm sorry my statements on Keith Emmerson were inappropriate and I guess" *pauses and looks off camera* "he totally deserves to be in the rock and roll Hall of Fame" like it's a hostage video and someone made him say it because he looks like he's having a terrible time about it.

Anyways he's an internet funny little man and one day he posts a tiktok or what have you labeled "tfw ur bf is sitting in his platonic soulmate's lap instead of yours" and it's just of Steve sitting sideways across Robin's lap on someone's couch chatting and smiling with her before turning to Eddie and giving a little finger wave.

This is of course met with internet hullabaloo because is that Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley? Famous indie music duo who are also starring in a popular new tv series? Social media weirdos? Beloved and popular and bizarre and memeable? Queer icons RobinandSteve? Was Eddie serious? He was dating thee Steve Harrington?

An hour later Robin tags Eddie in a post that is a video obviously taken from slightly under Steve as the angles are a bit weird, and Eddie can be heard saying "oh my god how could I have forgotten you're, like, really famous how'd I do that Steve! Babe, Stop laughing! It was supposed to be a silly relatable post! You're no better Buckley-hey why are you filming this? My mortification isn't funny!!" While the video is just shaking of Steve curling in on himself and Robin trying to focus on Eddie and you can hear them both cackling over Eddie talking. She captions it "tfw ur QPP's bf forgets you two are famous and that most ppl don't know they're dating. Or didn't, at least"

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Guilt Tripping - Yan! Diluc

Yandere Diluc x Fem! Reader

part 1 of the “Baby Trapping” series

Warnings: Toxic relationship, general yandere themes, guilt tripping (I think), emotional manipulation, slight victim blaming (I think?), drugging, implied future physical violence (Not towards reader), possessive and obsessive thoughts and behavior, overprotectiveness, overbearing actions, controlling actions/mindset, unhealthy and toxic mindset, paranoia, implied Yandere! Albedo (Towards a different reader of perhaps the same mini-series of this).

Not sfw warnings: Baby trapping, dub-c0n/non-c0n, unprotected sEx, cumming inside without permission, unconsensual and unethical use of aphrodisiacs, vaginal fingering, clothed grinding, loss of virginity (both parties and totally didn't forget to add this warning until now)

Diluc is straight up gaslighting himself in this. He’s aware of how awful he is but keeps justifying it lmao.

Please tell me if I missed any warnings that are needed.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT condone any of the toxic behavior and thoughts that may take place in this work of fiction. None of this should be romanticize or even considered normal as it is very toxic and very dangerous. If you find yourself in such a situation, please seek help if able to.

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

WARNING: DUE TO TUMBLR’S SHITTY TAGGING SYSTEM, NOT EVERY TRIGGER WARNING WILL BE TAGGED, SO PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS THAT ARE WRITTEN ABOVE. THANK YOU.

MINORS AND AGLESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. THANK YOU.

Unedited.

Word count: 5134k

===

Diluc was aware that he could be… overbearing, at times. He’s aware that his presence can be suffocating, that he can be a bit delusional at times, and that he’s a bit controlling when it comes to you. But be doesn’t mean to do that on purpose – you just manage to bring out both the worse and the best out of him.

Whether or not you’re aware of that fact is up for debate.

He’s been preparing for the day you snap and talk back, or to take some ‘much needed’ space from the relationship. He can’t deny that your sanity is slowly withering away the more you deal with him. Again, he doesn’t mean to make you so stressed.

He just wants what’s best for you, as long as you come back into his arms. There are understandings at times, where you listen instead of charging away like a bull. He knows that you know he cares deeply for you, loves you to the moon and back. That he’d be willing to do almost anything for you.

Anything but this.

“I’m breaking up with you.”

One sentence, five words, is all it takes for his words to come crashing down around him. ‘I need a break’ implies you’ll be back after a week or so. It’s happened once or twice throughout your entire two years of your relationship. And it never lasted more than a week, max.

Diluc can feel the thin thread snapping like a nose around a neck. He swears that the world comes to a halt at your words, seeing nothing but white. Is he undergoing shock? Perhaps he heard you wrong. Yeah, that’s it – you must have said something else. A prank maybe? Or maybe you mixed up your words.

“What… what do you mean?” He hates the way his voice cracks, how shaky his hands become, even when they’re clenched hard enough to snap metal into two. Your facial expression doesn’t show any signs of playfulness.

There’s nothing playful about this situation.

You let out a sigh, fingers massaging your temple. “I said… I’m breaking up with you. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore. I can’t deal with you anymore.” Your voice cracks, and there’s a silent sob. There’s a huff, an intake of air.

You’re trying your best not to break down in front of him. And he’s doing the same, fists clenching and unclenching as he thinks of something to say. What should he say? That you can’t leave? It’ll only make things more complicated, making you hostile towards him.

He can’t have that. He just can’t. but even so, he finds himself about to utter those words out loud. He bites his tongue.

“…I thought I was good to you. While… I do understand that I can get overbearing at times… I thought I was a good lover to you regardless of.” He tries to keep himself in check. Diluc was nothing but a good gentleman in your eyes, so he acts as such. Although, that illusion may be gone now.

“That’s the problem! You think you’re a good boyfriend. But you’re not. you’re so… overbearing and controlling. I can’t even talk to people you don’t approve of!” Your own thread had seemingly snapped, leaving nothing more than rage behind. Quite, dull rage that’s too exhausting to come out at once.

“You say it’s for my own good… that I need your protection…”

“I never said that- “

“You implied it. Every. Single. Time. you always imply it.”

There’s nothing but silence. There’s a guilty conscience. He can’t ignore it, but he won’t address it. Because that means he’ll have to let go. And he won’t, not even in death, where hell will surely drag him down. He’ll drag you if he has to.

“We can… let’s just talk about this, okay? No need to make any rash decisions.” He’s talking out of his ass right now. “It’s… been a stressful week. It’s late and we both got out of work not too long ago. Let’s just… how about you come over?”

You don’t say anything, not at first. A glimmer of hope. Yes, everything will go back to normal, over a glass or two, ending with you being a whimpering mess as he grinds against you. Just like always.

“No. I can’t… I won’t do that. It always has the same outcome anyway. We never ‘talk’, you just sweet talk your way out, and it ends with some type of sexual activity.”  You shake your head, taking a step back. He takes a step forward.

It feels wrong for you to stand so far away. Alien. You should be next to him, no, in his arms as he soothes you. Reality and fantasy don’t mix well, he realizes. “Please,” he tries again, choking on air.

It can’t end like this. It can’t end at all.

“Diluc… I can’t. I just can’t. I know it may be hard for you to understand but, whether you realize it or not… you treat me like a doll. A pretty, fragile, glass doll.” You don’t look him in the eyes, probably can’t.

To be fair, it felt worse on your own end. You loved this man. You wanted to marry him. But it’s in past tense and you’re not sure if you can keep up this happy façade. He’s nothing but controlling at this point, overprotective, suffocating. You can’t live in denial anymore.

Another sigh, another sob. With every step he takes towards you, you take one back. There’s an invisible wall between you, too hard to shatter. At least completely.

“Hey… let’s talk again in a week. When the steam blows off, okay?” You try not to break, he sees it. The way your body tenses, the slight tumble. He makes an effort to not point it out. “Please?”

And you cave, breaking down, wailing like a child. You don’t move away, only flinching as he closes in on you, gently and slowly wrapping his arms around you. his grip on you is loose, not wanting to chase you away. Gentle, he must be gentle.

It’s always worked in the past. He just needs to tweak a few things to guarantee victory. Anything for you, no matter how shady it may be. His morals become dubious when it comes to you.

A few minutes pass before you answer.

“Alright.”

--

Truthfully, you didn’t want to go, your resolve going down the drain whenever it came to you. But you had already promised you would, weak in that moment. But he knew. He knew that you would eventually succumb to his wishes. It happens every time.

And it ends with heated kisses, hands exploring each other’s bodies, promises to wait for the full act after marriage huffed into your ears. Despite the bulge straining in his pants, hazy eyes that kept looking at your kiss swollen lips, he never did anything you were uncomfortable with. And for that, you were grateful. But it doesn’t excuse his other behavior.

Something didn’t feel right. You were nothing short of tense, weary of what’s to come. Would he try to pull something? Or procced to guilt trip you once more, as unknowingly as usual? You could never tell with him, despite dating for two years.

Two years and he became a different person.

No. Beneath that gentlemanly exterior lies a control, obsessive and possessive freak. And you fell for it, the charm, the words, the looks. You dug your own grave without even knowing. And now it’s time to dig your way out, no matter how painful it may be.

You just hope your resolve will stay strong.

It must.

--

Diluc was nervous. It was more common these days, a nervous Diluc. He can’t help it but to be nervous around you. You were just so pretty, adorable, irresistible. And there was a time where you thought the same, where you couldn’t even take your eyes off of him. And yet, you don’t anymore.

He’s aware why. It’s because of him. But you need to understand was for your protection. He has too many enemies, there’s too much danger in the outside world. Surly, you would come around eventually, right?

Wrong. He was so, so wrong. He should have kept up with the gentle approach, no matter the amount of years it might have taken. It’s not too late to restart… right?

Just act the way you always portrayed him as. His mask has slipped too much too quickly. And now, he needs to fix everything as quickly as possible. The question is how to.

He glances at the wine bottle. A little drug as curiosity of Sir Albedo… a new and up coming drug. An aphrodisiac is what he called it. It was still in its developmental stages, but harmless. He was even given the right dose.

A questioning look in the alchemist’s eyes, no concerns were voiced. Most likely thought it wasn’t his business. And besides… even the esteemed Alchemist Albedo Kreideprinz had skeletons in his closet. Likeminded people must stick together, right?

And thus, the aphrodisiac was handed to him under the table, and now in this ‘new’ and ‘unopened’ bottle of wine. The cork was a new one, the previous one hastily thrown into the trash, covered with other discarded things. Not a smooth cover-up, but one you wouldn’t notice. And, if you were to ask for juice, he even drugged that beforehand.

He flinches slightly when a servant comes up to him, announcing your appearance. He takes in a deep breath before grabbing the bottle and two glasses, making his way to the study. When he gets there, he pauses. Would he be able to pull this off?

If you do ask for it, he has your consent, right? Yes, you wanted to save yourself for marriage but…

He shakes his head, ridding himself of those thoughts. He’ll back down if he thinks about too much. So, he takes a deep breath, straightens himself. His feet feel heavy as he walks into the room. He keeps the door open.

“(name). You came.”

You jolt at that, whipping your head around to see his figure at the doorway.

“Yes… just for a bit. This isn’t a casual visit, after all.” You built a wall around yourself, trying to smile but failing. He doesn’t comment on it.

“Ah. I suppose that’s… right.” Awkward silence, your hands tightly clasping together. His own grip on the glasses and bottle are tight as well. Swiftly, he places the objects down on the table in front of you. Everything has to be perfect. This night needs to end on a good note.

“Wine?” he asks, eyeing the way your jaw tenses as you hesitate to answer. You want to say no, he can see it, feel it. And hopefully, you won’t. His legs are already shaking like a newborn foal’s.

“I… sure.” A quiet sigh of relieve, and he opens the bottle, a loud ‘pop’ echoing in the room. You don’t take your eyes off of it. You’re weary of him. And he doesn’t have the right to complain or even feel offended.

Because you were right to be weary. To be weary of him.

He pours you a glass and himself one. He’s going to take the drug with you. God, he’s already silently regretting this. Not because he’s tricking you (although that’s part of it), but because he’ll have to explain, in detail (something he dreads, but a favor is a favor) of the results. He hates himself for being used a test subject and ragging you into it.

He can’t feel bad, considering he was the one who chose this route.

“Thank you…” you say as he passes a glass to you. He sits in front of you, the plush chair soft against him. He takes a sip.

“So… about our relationship… do you truly want to end it? We can work through this together.” He croaks out, trying his best not to ramble. He takes a deep breath, calming his nerves. He can do this.

“… I’m not sure if this relationship is savable. Two years and you’ve just gotten… worse. Much worse than you have gotten better. It’s like you’ve been possessed.” He can see your eyes water up, but you don’t let them fall.

He wants to wipe them away.

“What do you mean?” He’s never felt so scared in his life. He hates this. He hates himself. “It’s just… I know I can get overbearing, and I promise that I don’t do it on purpose-“

You cut him off, “That’s the problem. You don’t do it on purpose. It’s harder to resent you that way.”

Resent him? What do you mean by that?

“I don’t… I don’t know what to do. You’re… you used to be a good boyfriend. Someone I wanted to marry… but you’re not that same person anymore. And I’m not sure if we can fix this… if you can fix yourself. I’m not a therapist… yet you treated me as one for years.”

Your shoulders slack and you don’t make an effort to look at him. You don’t make an effort to drink the wine either.

He can feel his heart breaking. What should he do? What can he do? Crying (a rare sight indeed) won’t do anything. It’ll only prove you right if he cries and begs for you to reconsider. He needs you to drink the wine. A good amount of it.

He takes another swing, enough to the point the glass is almost empty. Too much at once, he hasn’t even eaten yet. He wants to eat you. But not when you’re crying like this.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that I was that… inconsiderate.” Ever so slowly, he takes small steps towards you. You don’t resist when he gets on his knees, gently placing his head on your lap. His arms wrap around your legs. And, almost as if it was natural, your hand comes town to thread fingers through his hair.

Even when you ‘resent’ him, you still comfort him. You really were too good for him. But it’s because of that he doesn’t want to let go. No. he’d never let you go. He’ll drag you to hell if he has to.

“… To think the esteemed Diluc would beg on his knees… hah,” a humorless laugh that shakes him through his core. You sound tired, so, so tired. You’re really going to give up on him. Was he really that bad? Sure, maybe he overshared, at times, and was a bit controlling, but…

He never hit you. Never raised his voice at you.

He’s in denial. He doesn’t want to admit to his mistakes right now. He’ll do it (probably) after you two make up. He’ll do it once you say you won’t leave, that you won’t give up on him, on the relationship. You’re all he has left.

His father’s dead, his ‘brother’ is a spy, he can’t really get along with anyone on an emotional level. Anyone except you. You know this, so why are you putting him through this? Can’t you see he needs you?

God helps the poor soul would dare take you away.

“… I’m sorry. I really am,” useless, he’s so useless right now. Helpless, he hates himself, he hates you. “I… can’t lose you. I love you, you know that, right?” Like he wasn’t the one pushing you away with his behavior and actions.

He’s a horrible person, a dreadful and emotional abusive boyfriend. The naked eye can’t see it, but a trained one can. Likeminded people can. The victim can.

“Diluc… sit down, okay? You’re going to make yourself sick,” you run your fingers through his red mop of hair before retreating it. No, no, no, you can’t do that. You just can’t.

You have to drink the wine. You need to understand he’s protecting you. You need to understand he needs you. So, stay, please.

Don’t make things even more complicated.

“… do you love me?” He looks up, eyes glossy and he watches as your strong façade crumble. He was your weakness as you were his. You’re perfect for each other, however toxic the relationship may be.

“I… I don’t know anymore. I feel like I love you, but I know I shouldn’t.” Shaking your head, you gently push at his shoulders. The effort is weak, almost meaningless. He gives a squeeze before getting up and returning to his seat.

It’s when he sits down, head falling into his hands, when you take a swing. He hears you slam the glass on the mahogany wood. Hope lights up in his chest, but even so, it feels so wrong. But he needs to do this. For him. For you.

How selfish of a person he was.

“… I can’t promise I won’t fall back into the habit, but –“

“You said that last time. And here we are, again. You say you’ll do better, that you’ll listen. Sure, you do, but only for a week. And then the cycle repeats.” You sigh out, now crying, finally breaking down despite everything.

Sobs, ugly sobs that he hates to hear. He’s not sure when he got up, or how long he’s been hugging you, but he knows that you need comfort. Maybe not from him, but he’s the only one here anyway. The servants are outside, cleaning the yard, tending to the grapes, shooing of pests.

Just you and him. No-one will hear, and even if they did… who are they to question their boss? Money talks.

You stay like that, for a while. Crying in his arms as he strokes your hair. He’s not sure when you had stopped, and completely forgotten about the drug.

He only remembers it when his body starts to heat up. And the same must be said for you, as you’re quivering in his grasp. The way you quiver whenever he drags you across his crotch, erection making contact with your clothed pussy.

Like right now, your hips rolling against his as he practically dragged you to the couch in the study once you started to kiss out of pure lust. You’re panting above him, eyes shut tight. Maybe you didn’t want to see him. He hates it, but that’s okay. As long as you’re here, with him, and not thinking of another man.

“Fuck… my body’s hot. I’m scared yet I can’t stop… did you put something in the drink?” You question him, voice broken and breathy as you keep rolling your hips. Harder, faster, more friction, you need him as much as he needs you. He’ll get you, and you’ll have him.

Like it’s supposed to be.

“Are you… mmh… that weary of me?” You’re far too gone to properly hear him, chasing pleasure above answers. His gloved fingers tug at your skirt, wanting it off. He wants to see you bare. Patience... patience, he tells himself.

A squeal, mouth open and he can’t help but kiss you. saliva everywhere, any pretense of a breakup gone. For now. And yet you both don’t care, delving into the pits of pleasure that’ll never be enough. He bites your lips hard enough to draw blood, you claw at his neck deep enough to see crimson.

You hurt and take, hurt and take. You break his heart, he’ll break your mind on his cock. Just… be good.

“Diluc… wedding… I want to wait – oh! – but… ah… not sure if I can…” you’re groping yourself, thumb ribbing at where your nipple would be. Too many clothes, hot, clit throbbing while grinding against him like there’s no tomorrow. Diluc takes this chance to tease you, just a bit.

“Wedding… you still want to marry me?” There’s a slight teasing to it, and he proceeds to kiss your neck. Gently, gently, so gentle you want more. He wants to drive you crazy. “But, of course, if you want it now, I won’t say no…”

Another moan, another messy kiss. Your lips are raw by now, and you’re not sure when he dragged the front of your shirt down, sucking on the bare skin before him. He bites your neck, leaving marks, he gropes your breasts, your hands now tugging at his hair.

He hisses at the sting, but it only drives him to do more. His free hand dives under your dress, the skirt of it wrinkled now.

“Diluc… please, fuck, I need you,” you breathe out, grinding against his hand as he teases you through your underwear. Slowly, he brings his hand back, using his teeth to take his glove off. Almost, he’s almost there. He needs to loosen you up. Hopefully, hopefully this drug will help with the pain.

Ah. Blood.

He needs to do this in the bedroom, easier to change the sheets.

--

You’re naked in no time, and despite the drug running through your veins like fire, you’re still scared. Very scared, and he feels so horrible about it. and yet, yet he can’t stop himself for shit. He’s horrible, shitty, controlling, obsessive, possessive, and desperate. Paranoid to a fault, he plans on tying you to him via family.

It’s hard to raise a child on your own. Reputation is important, and everyone would lose respect for you, for a good while at first. And besides… they would know who the father was. If they inherit his features, be it the red hair or ruby eyes, they’ll know. They’ll blame one of you, both of you, taking one side or the other.

Thus, it’s just overall easier to stay together, avoiding controversy. A horrible and risky plan. But you would need the support, the funds, the father. It’s harder, nearly impossible to run away from him in such a state.

“Hey… it’ll be okay. I’ll take it slow, alright?” He reassures you, smiling down at you gently. He’s always imagined you like this – a panting mess, lips kiss swollen, hair sprayed around his pillow and your hair. Bite marks everywhere, nipples tendered from being sucked on so much.

He’ll make a mental note to be more gentle next time. But for now, he trails down his hand, fingers ghosting over your burning skin. Shaky breaths, and he can’t take his eyes off of the way you stare downwards. He’s naked too, his own hickies littering his neck like a necklace.

“G-gentle…,” you breathe out, legs shaking in both fear and anticipation. You can’t wait, and neither can he. So he doesn’t, tracking your slick slit once before slowly entering. A gasp, and h looks up to make sure you weren’t in too much pain.

Instead, he’s met with the sight of you biting your lips, pleasure written all over your face. The drug works, it’s helping with the pain. Making things far easier than he thought it would be. He’ll make sure to thank Albedo to the moon and back.

“Diluc…” He’s brought back to reality when you whimper his name, and he softly shushes you. If you say his name like that one more time, he might just slip in without any prep. Without any consideration.

“Shh… there’s no need to rush. Let’s try to take our time, okay?” He kisses your forehead, finger curling slightly inside you. The way you arch your back is heavenly, the drug making you far more sensitive. “I’ll take good care of you. Promise.”

Nodding, you relax, allowing him to add a second finger. It feels rushed despite his words, but you don’t comment on it. You can’t, not when he’s curling them oh so deliciously. And he knows this, he’s not completely lost in lust just yet. He needs to drown you in pleasure, drive you crazy with it before he succumb to his own desire completely.

Just a bit more.

The squelching echoes in his room, bouncing off the walls. His ribs had become a drum, his heart the stick. Small, needy breaths that leave your lips, crying out when he curls his fingers at a certain angle. Oh. He found it.

Your g-spot.

He’s heard of it, and thought it was rubbish at first. Until Adelinde smacked his head when he suggested such a thing. The Head Maid made sure to educate him on sex that day, showing diagrams and pictures, along with books written about the subject. He’s almost entirely forgotten about it.

“There?” he asks, repeating the action once more. You nod your head several times and in quick succession – too lucid to properly beg, too desperate to fully think it thoroughly. “Such a needy little thing,” a third finger elicits a hiss from you, causing him to pause. He waits until you give him the green light.

“It – it feels weird… but good at the same time. Is this normal?” Croaking, you’re croaking out sentences now, and Diluc resists the urge to kiss you until you run out of breath. Your fingers grasp at his shoulders, trembling slightly. He can’t tell if it’s from fear or pleasure.

For his own sanity, he hopes it’s the latter.

“I’m… not sure. I think it is. Just tell me if it’s too much, and I’ll slow down.”

He didn’t say he would stop.

Diluc sees the worry in your eyes, the questions he won’t answer, and he feels guilty. It’s far too late to stop, and even if you were to ask him of it, he wouldn’t be able to. So he gives you the illusion of choice, and from the way your eyes travel down to where he’s fingering you, he can only guess you chose to ignore the reasoning in your head. What a good girl you are for and to him. Like always.

“Diluc… Diluc…” your eyes shut tight, breathing heavier as he fastens his pace, fingers pumping in and out while curling all the same. You need this too, right? He can’t force you if you were the one who asked for it.

Your belly tightens, and hips grind against the hell of his palm. You’re almost there, he thinks. You’re becoming wild, all pretense of rationally gone with the wind. He’s there, he’s there, you’re there, shivering in the palm of his hand. Like you should be.

“Ah, ah, fuck!” One more buck of your hips and he feels something wet. Upon looking down, he notices something red, very thing and small, mixed with a clear liquid. Did you cum? He feels bad for making you bleed already*.

Your chest heaves, and for a moment, he’s afraid you’ll come back to your sense. You’ll hate him for sure. But his own body is burning, cock twitching, and he’s going to die if you resist. Please, just make everything simple and easy. Please, for both of your sakes.

He gives you time to recover despite the urge to fuck you silly. Patience, patience, at least pretend to be a gentleman he tells himself. Anything and everything for you. Except letting you go.

“Do you need a breather?” gently, gently he removes his fingers, trying his best to treat you nicely. He tries not to grit his teeth when you nod your head. He’s already doing something awful. He needs to make you comfortable, at the very least.

A few minutes before you calm down, laying flat on your back, hands leaving him and choosing to grip his sheets instead. You’re distancing yourself from him. A bit lucid, but enough to resist.

“Alright… please be gentle,” closing your eyes, your arousal is still there, you still need him as badly as he needs you. He doesn’t wait a second to hover above you properly. His place, this is his place, you’re his and will always be his. You signed your faith the moment you appeared in his life.

“Gentle…,” he tells himself, taking in a deep breath. It stings you when he pushes in, slowly and gentle like he promised. Hands grip your hips, and he leans back on his heels a bit. You gasp, from pleasure mostly, and he stills. Be a gentleman in appearance, at least.

One second, two seconds, and at ten he starts to move. a deep sigh of pleasure from you both, yours higher than his. The tone was different compared to when you dragged your hips across his, clothes separating you. But now, now he can feel everything – the thought of a condom never having crossed your mind once. Good, everything is sailing smoothly.

“You’re, ngh, tight… fuck, you’re driving me crazy angel.” Unexpectedly, you mewl at the nickname, and without meaning too, he gives a hard thrust. Fuck, you’re going to be the death of him. One thrust, two thrust, and you’re begging him to fuck you harder at the fifth one, legs wrapping around his waist and hands clawing at his chest.

He loves you like this; he wants you remain so needy for him. “Diluc! Fuck, don’t stop!” Both blood and slick cover his cock and make a mess on his bed. He’ll have to give you a warm towel after this, a glass of water. And a lie about cumming inside.

“It feels good, fuck why did we wait so long?” His hips can’t stop moving as he questions you. You don’t answer, you can’t when you’re moaning like a whore. And he loves it, he loves the fact that only he can make you this way. He loves the fact that he’ll be your first and last partner.

He might hurt a man who would dare to attempt to do the same.

It doesn’t last long, neither of you do. He makes sure to circle your clit with his thumb, wanting to bring you more pleasure. You needed to finish with him. You needed to be distracted from the feeling of his cum painting your womb white.

And when he does, he lets out a low groan, your squeal music to his ears. he holds you tight until his balls are empty. And ever so slowly pulls out, careful to not alarm you. His goal was done, and hopefully, this’ll be enough to get you pregnant.

If not, he’ll come up with other plans.

“I love you…” one of his hands comes down to wipe away the sweat from your forehead. Your skin is sticky, eyes dazed. It’s a sight he’ll never forget.

You don’t answer, not at first.

“I… I love you too.”

A soft peck and he’s up to soak a towel in warm water. You’re too tired to check your lower half, eyes closing against your will. But it’s okay, it’s Diluc after all. Surely, he wouldn’t do anything… right?

As for Diluc… he’s already coming up with baby names.

 ===

 A/N:* - tmi but the very first time I got fingered, I bleed a bit lmao. I don’t know how it is for everyone else, so I just used my own experiences. Seriously though, acting like Diluc in this fic is fucked up. Please don’t do that.

[kiwiana-writes]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

A big ol' fuck you to @rmd-writes for the tag xoxo

1. How many works do you have an AO3? Lol. Lmao even. 289.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 914,620 on AO3, but that includes co-writes as well as things I've podficced where the fic and pod are in the same work. My actual personally-written wordcount, per my Batshit Spreadsheet, is 771,819.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Mostly RWRB these days, though most of my back catalogue is Schitt's Creek. Also The Pairing and various other things scattered about.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Kinda think that I might be his type aka Alex and Bea fake date coming in at the top spot, which will never not bewilder me. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely fic!! But I am always surprised that it was a few hundred more kudos than:

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), the Much Ado actors AU. My magnum opus, my beloved.

We were supposed to find this - baby's first soulmate AU and my first RWRB fic. The brainrot really took hold with this one lmao.

All the Lonely Starbucks Lovers, in which Henry takes 'open mouth insert foot' to a whole new level.

Warm like the glow that you feel head to toe, the age gap fic with older Senator Alex and younger Prince Henry. This is probably the only one in my top five that really surprises me, considering age gaps are... divisive.

5. Do you respond to comments? Always always always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I mean I did write that one MCD fic in Schitt's Creek, though I maintain the other five parts in that 5+1 are in fact angstier than the MCD ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhhhhh, the rest? The Doylist answer is any of my fics where the HEA is literally forever rather than 'till death do us part'; so, the Schitt's Creek afterlife AU and the RWRB zombie!Alex AU. (Is that all? Am I forgetting one?)

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yeah, sometimes. Weirdly, more through tumblr anons than on the fics themselves? A lot of them I just delete, sometimes I'll give them a bit of a public scolding etc. Frankly at this point if you come into my ask box to be a cunt on anon I'm going to assume you have a public humiliation kink and will indulge you accordingly.

9. Do you write smut? Who's to say.

10. Do you write crossovers? I'm more inclined towards a fusion than a crossover (love a good media fusion) but I did write a short RWRB/The Pairing crossover for VoiceTeam.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. Someone did ask recently, so we'll see!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? HEAPS. @ships-to-sail is an ongoing collaborator, but I also did a bunch of "each write a chapter" type collabs in Schitt's Creek. Currently co-writing something truly fucking incredible with @indestructibleheart.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? IDK if it's a WIP by the strictest definition, but every day the likelihood of the SC kink!verse series being completed slips further away lol.

16. What are your writing strengths? Rae, you're the worst.

Smut, I guess? Giving people new kinks, apparently. Character voice. Also a very specific type of world-building where I explain nothing because the characters already live in that world and let y'all infer how it works, which came up a LOT on one of this year's Kinktober fics in particular and led to my spouse saying "okay so you're basically the Brennan Lee Mulligan of tree fucking", which is sure not a sentence I expected to ever be directed towards me, but here we are.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Anything original, apparently. Good thing I didn't quit my job to be a writer or anything OH WAIT.

(In all seriousness, though, I am genuinely shit at, like, plotting. And action sequences.)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If it makes sense for the character, sure! I'm enlisting someone who speaks it for anything more complicated than, like, a pet name - I've seen what Google Translate tries to spit out for my second language and therefore don't trust it lmao.

19. First fandom you wrote for? terf queen mcgee's property.

20. Favourite fics you've written? The RWRB fic specifically based on the episode The Husbands of River Song from Doctor Who. Hands down the best thing I've ever written.

I also fucking LOVED the Much Ado actor AU. My love letter to Shakespeare and theatre and queer joy.

-

Tagging @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic

@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @notspecialbabe @orchidscript

@piratefalls @sherryvalli @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! 

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

"After stuckness comes unstuckness"

Reasons why we won

Been working on this meta for 3 days now, but it's worth it.

This confirms what I have been saying in my #Gingerpovs all along. Remember to follow that tag if you want to have a more comprehensive and historical perspective about my meta (and Sydcarmy predictions that have checked out so far), here's what I curated so far in preparation for S4, or as I always called it: The Sydcarmy ENDGAME season.

But first: Let's not forget that Landgraf is a Disney employee and so is Storer.

Here we go, please watch:

Source: Ringer Movies

“You’re at the point now where if you want more than one season of pickup, we can do it. And it may help you because you have actors that are movie stars now; they’re going to want to go do other things, and you can figure out when you’re going to make the shows and when to release them.” And they said, “No, we can’t work that way. We only want one season.” So we picked up one.

What Landgraf is not saying is that this convo he's referring to happened right after S2's amazing numbers started coming in, back in 2023.

Before the Grand Slam happened in Q1 2024:

So this "change of heart" that Storer had when he called Landgraf back once he already got to work on S3 to accept the 4th season that had previously been offered and turned down, took place right after DISNEY FX offered him an obscenely higher amount of money to reconsider, right AFTER THE GRAND SLAM. So Storer had material for a 4th season but ONLY IF he made S3 the LEGERDEMAIN season it ended up being, meaning if he saved for later THE MEAT THE SYDCARMY ENDGAME. And even then Storer said: "I can split the material I have in 2 seasons but only if I have total creative freedom for S3 and can make of it what I please", which BTW was never off the table, but he specifically agreed under that condition because he wanted to deliver a season that he knew was gonna be heavy on the 'stuckness' and mental health breakdown and how the road to recovery from trauma is not linear and it affects everyone else around, like in his real life, aka: an unpopular season.

So instead of delivering a final 3rd season that was 50%/50% (50% blue period / 50% rosé and ending on a happy note), he went for the 3rd season we all watched (100% blue) and a 4th and final season where all that "Stuckness" is gonna get unstuck, as Landgraf is SPOILING (The rosé period where they are gonna win the Star, which I think will be the scenario where Sydcarmy will blossom, because by the time they rotate to the SPRING MENU, the star will be announced, seeing as the spring menus are typically the Masterpieces of all Michelin starred restaurants, so they will most likely win it with it)

But the scripts for S4's last lap (THE SERIES FINALE) are still in the WR as we speak, the reason being that by the time that "double season pickup" was agreed upon (when Storer was offered more money) and that's why he changed his mind, HE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MATERIAL FOR A 4TH SEASON, HE HAD TO YET COME UP WITH IT:

He may have had a 4th season in mind like I have at least 4 more FF I wanna write and have already been thinking about, some of which I have already plotted, sure! But no, I don't have them yet. So that was a white lie or a literary license Landgraf took when telling this story, TIMING MATTERS.

How will Storer go about that "unstuckness"?

Like this:

Please note that Screenrant used to be a C person stand when Storer was still trying to make that character happen. Now they don't seem to remember her name :)

It all points to Syd, as I always anticipated:

Moreover, it all points to Sydcarmy:

Check the Bonus Track please:

And there is more that Screenrant article is spoiling with complete and total greenlight of Disney and Storer themselves because if you think that Bear S4 INFOMERTIAL was published on the same day as the 2025 Disney promo, S4 teaser and just a couple of weeks after Landgraf said, and I quote:

"THOSE THAT HAVE STAYED WITH IT, THEY'RE GOING TO BE REALLY WELL REWARDED."

think again.

He is in other words saying, all those things you have been bitching about, aka: LACK OF SYDCARMY, LESS CALO, STUCKNESS, and more stuff I went over here, WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF and it's NOT GONNA BE ANOTHER "UNPOPULAR" SEASON. JUST BE PATIENT.

So, that means that we, truthers, may end up having to thank Donna for being THE plot device who brings Syd & Carmy together. Let's not fall into the red herring's trap Storer set for us in that teaser. She's not a DANGER as we all first thought, this new Donna, is a bridge that will connect her son, once he buries the hatchet with her and Syd together. If we think about it, one of the main reasons why Carmy and Syd are not together yet is his trauma, and Donna and his troubled relationship with her are the root cause of it, so once Carmy heals that trauma, having a healthy and loving relationship with a woman, any woman, will be attainable. AKA: BYE C / HI HELLO SYD (which would finally make the edition of the scene below make total sense).

Scratch the "could" because we already know she stayed and signed the agreement as I have been announcing since FOREVER and not just because I'm a truther but because it makes sense plot-wise in terms of Carmy's redemption arc.

Bonus track: UNDER THE TABLE SYDCARMY PODCAST 20TH EP For more details about S4 and more predictions and theories, etc, please listen to our podcast on Mixcloud.

Shoutout to @unladyboss for the YT vid.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[hongjoongspoetry]

hongjoongspoetry's tumblr wrapped, 2024

Thank you @bvidzsoo for the tag!! 🩷

2024 review

2024 was the year I really got into writing for ateez. I've been writing fanfics since middle school and used to be in a lot of different fandoms. I used to post on wattpad, but was never consistent or managed to finish any of my stories. Ateez is the first group/fandom that I've really kept writing for a long period of time and not lost interest in, plus I've also managed to write complete oneshots and am almost even done with my first series (ever)!!!

Total statistics of 2024

- no. of fics: 8 - wc: 151.3K - no. of wips: 9

Genres explored in 2024

Horror, action, romance, dystopia, historical, sports fiction, slice of life, comedy, pirate fics (that one's in the drafts but it was written in 2024), can't forget the golden trio of fluff, smut and angst!!

first fic of 2024: Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches

- posted: feb 17th - pairing: Idol!San x F!Reader - comments: I believe this was my first ever ateez fic and it was actually "self indulgent" too. As stated in the author's note, I have a fear of giving birth and it's known in my primary family, but no one takes my fear seriously. So, back then, wrote the things I needed to hear in the moment and it was to have someone be understanding of my feelings.

longest fic: Bones, Blood and Teeth Erode

- posted: oct 8th - pairing: non idol!Yunho x F!Reader - comments: I never imagined to write something pushing 40k words!!! I'm actually amazed and proud of myself for finishing it. It was certainly a challenge as BBATE wasn't anything I've written before.

last fic: A Love Written in Gold | Chapter 1

- posted: nov 8th - pairing: Proletarian!Hongjoong x Nobility!Reader - comments: I'm so excited for this fic and everything I've planned for it!! I was originally not going to post it until Cold Hands, Warm Heart was done, but I couldn't hold myself from writing lmaooo.

top 3 most popular fics of 2024

Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches

- posted: feb 17th - pairing: Idol!San x F!Reader - comments: so this is getting quite repetitive 😭 it is what it is lmaoo, im just happy people could find comfort in my writing. Back then, I didn't expect it to get the attention it did or that people would reach out and tell me how much they feel seen.

Too Sweet

- posted: apr 24th - pairing: Upcoming rockstar!Yunho x F!Reader - comments: This fic is entirely inspired by Hozier's Too Sweet. I was obsessed with that song when it came out and I think I listened to it on REPEAT. I just had to write a fic to it and at the time, it was the longest fic I had eve written!

Baby, Love Me Lights Out

- posted: sep 21st - pairing: Idol!San x GN!Reader - comments: okay so this one, I just wrote it for shits and giggles 😭 that was the day I learned just how much atiny love drunken san lmaooo.

mina's personal picks

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

- posted: jun 3rd - pairing: hockey player!mingi x figure skater!reader - comments: this is my fav fic (series) from 2024! I've always wanted to do an ice sports fanfic, but never really had the time nor like "knowledge" to do it when I was younger lmao. I have so many ideas for this fic and this universe overall because the other boys will have their own stories later on, so they are all connected!! AND we get small cameos/easter eggs in each series of what the other boys' fics will be about! Although there are a lot of readers who liked CHWH, I'm still a bit sad it didn't get more recognition as I did put in a lot of thought behind it, but I'm still happy its almsot done. Mainly because it's my first ever series and well, I just love the characters I've created

A Love Written in Gold

- posted: oct 8th - pairing: Proletarian!Hongjoong x Nobility!Reader - comment: Okay, so season 3 of bridgerton really sparked this idea of writing a bridgerteez fanfic and I just had to write something for my bias! I'm a sucker for the forbidden love trope so this was the perfect fic to use it for lmaooo. No, but this is also a fic I have so so so much to planned for and I really can't wait to share it with you!! It's also really fun to write, which I can say I don't feel the same for some fics. If you have time and love bridgerton, I advice you to give it a chance!

2025 goals

One of my goals for 2025 is to write more and publish more fics than I did in 2024, but I don't know if I will achieve it as I'm swimming in work from uni hahah. If not, then I at least wish to finish my series cold hands, warm heart and a love written in gold before 2025 ends. I also want to start writing the next instalment Puzzle Pieces!

No pressure tags: @ennysbookstore @solaris-amethyst @seongwars @desirehorizon @everyonewooeverywhere + anyone else who wants to do this! 🩷

[svmjaeyvn]

love maze, s.jy.

chapter two pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

add yourself to the taglist here!

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER TWO: INTOXICATING

previous masterlist next

word count: 1.9k

warnings: alcohol, partying, mentions of yeonjun for funzies, jake thinking with his dick even after what just happened so sort of questionable???

a/n: bare with me i’m trying to build the plot a little bit

YOU DIDN’T KNOW how you ended up back at the frat house. Truly, the party was in full swing and after dealing with the encounter that you did, it would've made the most sense to go home and cry it all out, maybe eat some ice cream for dinner and watch a few romcoms. But that wasn't the case due to Yunjin sending you a text saying how she wouldn't be coming home for the night, the date seemingly going well and you didn't have it in you to ruin her night by telling her of yours.

Thus, uncomfortable with being left alone, you opted to go the other route and surround yourself with as many people as possible. Though, the boys hadn't wandered far, keeping you in sight at all times and Jay particularly staying by your side no matter how many times you told him to still enjoy himself knowing how much of a social butterfly he was a majority of the time. Your work uniform was disregarded in his room, changed into a spare pair of flare jeans and lacy top to fit in with the party, courtesy of the few clubbing nights you went to with him and ended up spending the night, leaving your clothes in his dirty laundry after stealing large hoodies and sweats.

All bad things could be washed away with alcohol, or so they said. Thus, you were on your fourth round of shots in the last 30 minutes with a random group who made their way in the kitchen, never one to have been a lightweight but typically better at timing your drinking. Jay was growing particularly antsy by your actions, knowing you were acting out of the need to forget but he didn't want to let you drink irresponsibly.

"Why don't you slow down a bit, yeah teeny?" Jay asks, leaned close to your ear for you to hear over the loud blaring of music. Attempting to take away the can of Twisted Tea, something you typically hated by the taste but tonight didn't seem to care, while you pull it back with a pointed look.

"I'm fine," You emphasize, words clear and steady, the alcohol not hitting you yet much to your relief. Glancing around, you make eye contact with the umpteenth girl who had been shooting daggers your way for keeping Jay occupied thus far. "If you don't go away I'm gonna end up getting jumped tonight by your fangirls," You add with a small snort.

Jay followed your gaze, turning to the girl who's face morphed from a glare into a sickenly sweet smile as she waved at him with a bite of her lip, attempting to be seductive but he merely snorts at the gesture. "Pretty sure she got chlamydia from a dude in the drama department,"

You scrunched up your nose, finding the information one you didn't need to know. "At least you know better than to fuck anyone that offers," Taking a long sip of your drink once more, the slight burn in your throat becoming easier to bare. "Alright, I'm gonna go dance. You go do anything else,"Jay shakes his head almost immediately causing you to send him a bored look. "I'm fine dude, honest. You need to stop worrying so much. Nothing actually happened,"

"You're not in the right headspace," He protests but you let out a small snort.

"Jesus, dude, you act like an overprotective brother,"

"I am!" Jay defends while you shake your head.

"We're not even related!" You shoot back but his jaw drops in offense.

"We were born a week apart, our moms have been friends since high school. We're basically twins, I know you better than yourself," He lists off, deeply concerned by the way you were disregarding your twins in another life theory that your families always joked of since you were young.

"I'm definitely not your twin, you know why?" You start, standing up from the kitchen island with a small smirk playing at your lips. Your head began to feel fuzzy, the start of your buzz coming and the tension from earlier leaving you slowly but surely. "I'm hotter," You finish, a cocky look playing at your features while Jay rolls his eyes.

"Right, and which one of us gets laid?"

"Hey!" You hiss, waggling a finger in his direction. "I don't hook up by choice. Y'all are nasty,"

"And because you're a hermit who doesn't see the light of day," He snickers causing you to narrow your eyes at him.

Decidedly having enough of the banter, you merely spin on the heels of your feet. "Bye Jay!" You call over your shoulder making your way toward the living room which was lively and loud, body's meshed together and dancing to whatever song that was blaring through the speakers that sounded through the house.

Jay let out a sigh of defeat, pulling out his phone to do a headcount of where everyone was. Thankfully, Heeseung and Jake were in the general area you were, him asking them to keep an eye on you for the time being and getting a thumbs up in response.

Heeseung was on the dance floor, a random girl he never met before tonight swaying herself pressed up against his hips. He looked lively, a few more shots in and just wanting to mess around for the time being. You spotted the tall boy momentarily in the jumble of people who nodded over to you ensuring that you were okay, a nod you returned reassuring him and he took it as enough to go back to his business.

Meanwhile, Jake was on the sidelines, leaned up against the wall as he spotted you the moment you walked over. Far too caught up with the events from earlier, he found it hard to enjoy himself, feeling partially sorry for you but also having an unpleasant pit in his stomach, not necessarily angry but he couldn't exactly pinpoint it.

He continued to sip at the cup of punch Jungwon had conducted up, only drinking it due to how excited the younger boy was of his creation but it was entirely too strong for anyone to stomach more than one cup.

His eyes continued to glance over you, taking in each of your curves that was showed off by the tightness of your jeans. They hugged your ass in the right places, emphasizing the perky shape before beginning to flare out from the knee down. The lacy black top was cropped, showing a good portion of your stomach due to the mid rise of your pants, the deep v-plunge neckline providing more to the imagination in seeing your breast that were pushed up with your bra. The shiny gleam that came off of your naval piercing catching Jake by surprise, having to do a double take to ensure he was seeing things correctly.

You were attractive, that was obvious enough. Although slightly shameful, he couldn't help but rake his eyes over you, thoughts filling his head imagining what it would be like to have you under him, staring up with that daze-y doe eyed look that would make him bend to of any of your desires.

But there was a problem with that. He wasn't the only one with eyes, able to see you and the way you swayed your body to the music, your tiny waist and full thighs that he wanted to die between if so lucky. Jake took note of the few guys who's glances began to wander toward you, even ones who had already claimed their fuck buddies for the night and danced alongside them all while drooling at you who danced by yourself.

He watched as a familiar face make his way toward you. Choi Yeonjun, cool dude to be friends with, horrible guy to date. His reputation preceded him in more ways than one, notorious for stringing girls along week by week and the worst part was they knew of his doings. It was embarrassing how they fought to be his newest toy for the day, a sort of achievement to the girls he's strung along to say they've ticked hooking up with Yeonjun off their list.

Yeah, not happening. Jake didn't know if it was due to him still feeling protective due to you unintentionally calling him for help, or rather the more sinful thoughts that passed through his head moments ago and not wanting to sit and watch you to become a new trophy to a guy like Choi Yeonjun.

Picking himself up from where he was leaned back, Jake took a large swig of his now lukewarm concoction of liquors. Weaving his way through the crowd, he pushes his way to you just as Yeonjun stops in front of your view.

Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, Jake leans close to your ear. "Go along with it," He whispers, catching you by surprise as you were previously engrossed by the music in your own little world, unaware that two of the most lusted over guys at the party were having a silent debate over you at the moment.

Feeling the alcohol now coursing through your bloodstream, you obliged by Jake's words. Continuing on without a word of protest, though you did take the red solo cup from his hand and took a sip from it as you adapted to dancing with him now. Scrunching up your nose upon the drink hitting your tongue, you look at Jake with an incredulous look of disgust in his beverage choices causing him to laugh.

"Jungwon made it," He explains with a small shrug, leaning dangerously close to your face as his breath lightly fanned against your lips. Peering over your shoulder, a small smirk plays at his features seeing as Yeonjun had disappeared from your sight, decidedly giving up on any sort of chance he was attempting to have with you for the night.

"It sucks," You respond back and yet still take another sip, this time longer as you quickly swallow it without time for it to settle on your tongue. Jake's smile turns into one of amusement, watching as you handled the alcohol as if it were nothing before you placed the cup back in his hold. "You either dance with me or go away, your pissing contest with that dude is over now,"

Jake raised a brow. "Pissing contest?"

"You know, marking territory that's not yours," You shoot back, a bored look sent to him as he sheepishly shrugs. "I don't need you being protective like Jay. For one, we barely know each other and two, I'm not that much of an idiot to hook up with Choi Yeonjun no matter how badly I need to get laid. So you either shut up and dance with me or you go away,"

Already rather blunt as it was, the second you got alcohol in your system you tended to be more unfiltered than necessary. Jake finds amusement in your confession but your eyes seem so certain. Though the slight gleam in them as you looked up caused his stomach to do a flip, one that caused him to not think clearly.

Jake didn't respond, instead his arm slips down from your shoulders down to your waist, snaking around and encasing your body against his own. A small smile perks at your lips, sighing blissfully at his lack of commentary and rather allowing you to do as pleased.

"Good choice," You mumble out, breath fanning against his neck as your arms lazily drape from his neck, brining your bodies dangerously close to one another though neither of you minded.

After all, having a little fun with a hot guy never hurt anyone, right?

[lanitalay]

Before I Say Goodnight

Chapter 7

a/n Hiiiii, new chapter yay. Last post I got a request for a tag list, let me know if you're interested in something like that! Also, I'm going to try to keep up the writing schedule I have now so you can expect new chapters every 2-3 days.

word count: 2.5k

Warnings: mentions of a knife and throw up

Other chapters

Hot, humid breath fans the back of your neck as someone or something holds you tight. You struggle against the restraint to no avail. Whatever is holding you has canines that nick and poke at the back of your head. You stiffen as you feel hot liquid rolling down your back, unsure if it's sweat or blood. You’re being pushed and dragged by this monster. It’s a familiar forest, a universe away. Claws press into your hips and you cry out as you feel them press through skin and scrape against bone. You wake mid gasp. Nightmare. That was just a nightmare. It had been a while since you thought of that forest. It was a trap. You had no proof but also no doubt. The lack of light seeping through the curtains let you know it is way too early to start your day. So you focus on breathing hoping sleep takes over soon. 

When you went to breakfast the next morning you were relieved to find the dining room empty. After last night you didn’t know how to interact with Azriel, having told him things that not even your closest friends from home know. So you eat in silence and try to forget about last night, the nightmare and the dread that threatened to spill over whenever you were undistracted for longer than fifteen minutes. 

When you walked into the library Gwyn approached you immediately “Y/n! I’m so glad you are back, yesterday we found something and waiting to tell you has been tortuous” blood drains from your face and you swear your heart stops for a few beats. “What do you mean?” She walks over to a table with at least twenty books sprawled across it. “There is this book that talks about opening portals with a series of symbols, they are extremely intricate and the portal working depends on making the symbols perfectly but it’s totally doable. Then in this book there is a description of different realms that have been accessed by these portals. So, in theory we would just need to figure out which symbols lead to your realm” she finishes and looks at you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on a face. “I… that’s incredible Gwyn, thank you”. You are terrified to get excited about the news. If it doesn’t work… But if it does then that means a way home. “Don’t thank us yet, we still have to figure out the combinations for your realm but I think it should be done by the end of the week”. Jesus, that’s soon. You spend the rest of the day in a daze, fetching books, picturing your life back home and coming up with explanations for your absence. 

By the time dinner rolls around you are starved. “Oh, hi” Azriel half smiles at you “hello, y/n”. You sit in your usual seat across from him, “I’m starving”, fill your plate and begin eating. “How was your day?” You pause your chewing and look at his eyes for the first time since last night “oh, it was alright” you take a sip of water “Gwyn told me that they found something on portals, I could be going home in a few days”. Telling Azriel you’re leaving was hard, goodbye suddenly on the horizon. He takes a few beats to reply “are you happy to be going back?” Right now, you are regretting everything you told him last night. You take a bite and nod. He continues, trying to fill the silence “I’m not surprised Gwyn found a solution so fast. She’s one of the most talented researchers in the library” you nod again. It was true, Gwyn was brilliant, but you didn't appreciate the jealousy that flashed through your chest. That’s something to unpack later. “How was your day?” He looks a little surprised by the question, having accepted that you weren’t in the mood for conversation “it was… productive. Training was good and I got word from one of the spies on the Continent”. You never know what to say when Azriel talks about his position as Spymaster, he didn’t offer details and you didn’t want to pry. You had a feeling that asking too many questions would make you seem suspicious and since you depend on the mercy of the Night Court for food and shelter you thought minding your business was the prudent thing to do. “I haven’t seen Mor in a while, what’s she up to?” His shoulders relax a bit “she’s in the Court of Nightmares for a few days”. Right. The Court of Dreams and Court of Nightmares dichotomy. “And Cassian?” you try to hide the little smirk that will give away your plan to annoy him. “He’s in Windhaven until tomorrow”. He’s so serious. “And Elain?” “Probably at the River House” “And Lucien?” “Somewhere in the human lands, maybe the Spring Court” “and Amren?” “I actually haven’t seen her since last week”. “What about Eris?” He stills. “How do you know Eris?”. His face hardened at the mention of the heir of Autumn. “He came to talk to Lucien at the Manor, I thought I had mentioned it” “you didn’t”. Pivoting, you ask “Nesta?” He runs his hand through his hair “uhm, tonight is girls night so she’s with Gwyn and Emerie getting drunk and gossiping”. That sounds fun. “You know, I meant what I said about teaching you how to use a knife. I could teach you a few self defense techniques before you go” your mind goes to the knife you’re still keeping in your boot “I’d really appreciate that, Azriel. I’m so tired of being easy prey, I wanna be able to put up a fight”. “Great, meet me here at dawn” he gets up “sleep well” and walks away. Dawn? 

You’re tired, but there's too much on your mind. So after dinner you find yourself  at the library where Nesta keeps all of her romances. “I swear Cassian steals my novels and uses the smut as inspiration” their three distinct laughters fill the room. You chuckle as Emerie goes to pour herself wine but Nesta snatches the bottle before and pours a glass for herself. “Do you mind if I crash your girls night?” the Valkyries look at you, not having noticed your presence and you hear an excited “eeek” as Gwyn tackles you. “Beautiful y/n of course you can join us! Here, have some wine” she hands you a glass that’s full to the brim and you take a few healthy sips “we were gossiping about the boys”. Nesta raises her eyebrows “y/n, be careful with that wine, it’s not meant for humans” you gulp. “Oh god, what’s gonna happen to me?” Nesta laughs “nothing, it’s just really strong. Anyway, he thinks I don't notice but last night he basically played out the bath scene from that novel we read last week” all of you giggle “lucky girl” Emerie teases. “What about you, y/n? Any good gossip to share with the group?” You sip the wine, already feeling light headed “not really”. Nesta’s eyes glitter with something you can’t quite place as she says “has anything happened with Azriel?” she wiggles her brows and you choke. Seeing her this playful is unusual and the idea about you and Azriel is so absurd “no, he’s just been a friend” “I’m sure he wants to be more than that…” you shake your head, sipping more wine. “Not even one kiss?” Emerie asks “not even a hug” she frowns “bummer”. You feel pressured to tell them something interesting so you say “you didn’t hear it from me, but I think there’s something going on with Vassa and Jurian”. The hours fly by between the wine, the stories and the speculating. It is almost dawn when you knock on Azriel’s door. 

“Y/n?” his sleep laced voice echoes in the hallway.  You hiccup “Azriel there is no way I can train with you”. “You joined girls night” he states “you spied on us?” He crosses his arms across his chest “it’s my job”. “You are just nosy,” he yawns, “can I help you with something?” “I’ve been keeping a secret,” you whisper. The dim hallway conceals the way his face pales at your confession “what do you mean?” You look around, double checking nobody else is here and step closer to him. He’s tall, much taller than you so you grab his shirt and he leans forward to meet you at eye level. He’s pale and stiff as a board as you move your face closer to his, until your lips are just about to touch his ears and in the softest voice he’s ever heard say “I think it was a trap”. He pulls away slightly to look at your face, maybe you’re messing with him. But the worry pouring from your eyes lets him know you are not joking. “I think whoever opened the portal used me to test it out”. He’s wide awake now and your eyes are droopy. “Why do you think that?” You yawn and rub your eyes. “I need to get to bed” he grabs your forearm and asks again “y/n, why do you think that?” Your eyes are basically closing themselves and you mumble “cause, there were no sounds and-” another yawn cuts you off. Azriel straightens up and leads you to your room, he’ll ask more questions tomorrow. He pulls the covers from your bed and you collapse on top of all the decorative pillows. Azriel places the covers over you and lets you sleep. 

You feel the pounding in your head before you even open your eyes. After a few minutes you open your eyes and close them again. A couple of more minutes you open them again. It takes a moment to build up the courage to move to a sitting position. Once you do, your gut flips and you bolt to the bathing room, emptying the contents of your stomach. Cold sweat coats your forehead and your back. You sigh, defeated. Slowly, you splash your face with cold water and return to your bed but stop when you see something on your bedside table.  A note, a smokey looking beverage, bread and butter. You pick up the note and admire the precise calligraphy “Drink this tonic for your hangover. The lesson has been moved to after lunch. Meet me on the terrace. Bring the knife. Azriel”. You don’t really remember your conversation from last night but you guess you were drunk enough that Azriel figured you would not be getting up for the lesson. You take a few bites of the bread and sip the concoction and gag at the foul taste. Then, you collapse on the bed, having a few more hours to sleep before your lesson.  

You feel much better when you wake up the second time, managing to tie your hair with a ribbon and putting on your old leggings, a fleece tunic and your boots. When you walk onto the terrace you shiver. The wind lets you know that Autumn has fully set in. “Good morning” the shadow singer greets with a teasing smirk. “Thank you for the provisions” you approach him, rubbing your arms for warmth “maybe we could have the lesson in an ice box, it would be less windy”. “You have to be prepared for the elements, y/n. Where’s the knife?” You pull it from your boot “right here” and wave it around, pretending to attack him. “So, the first thing to know is to not wave it around like that” he’s serious now. I hate when he gets all monotone. “Let’s start by seeing what you would do if you were immobilized”. Fast as lightning he lunges towards you and grabs you, pinning both arms to your sides. You shriek, not expecting that “Azriel this is ridiculous” he doesn’t let up “didn't Lucien drag you across an entire forest while you tried to get away?” You huff “that’s not fair, I would have gotten free but he knocked me against a tree”. “You were too slow, you have to learn to react on instinct. Now, try to get away” you swear he gripped you even tighter. You begin to thrash, trying to headbutt him, biting, scratching, pinching, screaming, but nothing works. Until you begin to kick your legs wildly and knee his groin. He groans and his hold on you falters for a second. You bring your hands to his chest and push him away while ducking. It’s messy but you get away. Until a calloused hand grabs your shoulder and your back meets his chest again only this time there's a blade pressed to your neck. “And then you’re dead” you roll your eyes “I think I did a great job” he lets you go and you immediately miss his warmth “I think we have a lot of work to do”. You stay on the terrace until nightfall and by the end of the lesson you are able to use the knife, more or less.  

You’re walking towards the dining room when Azriel asks “do you remember what you told me last night?” Oh god what did I say? “No, things got hazy half way through Gwyn’s story about some ribbon cutting ceremony… or something to that effect”. He stops walking and lowers his voice “you told me you think the portal was a trap, is that true?” Your throat goes dry and you nod. “I’m sorry I woke you up for that, it’s just a thought I had” he insists “why?” You let out a breath and explain your reasoning. The dead air, the lack of life around the circle, the mist that caged you in and the feeling of being watched. He nods, taking all of it in. You feel embarrassed. He probably thinks I’m crazy. “I’ll contact my spies to see if they’ve seen anything recently” you appreciate it, you really do but you can’t go down this spiral again “can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m starving”. You reach the dining room and are greeted by the smell of food and Nesta and Cassians conversation. “Y/n! Glad to see you on two feet, Nesta was worried you died after last night” you roll your eyes and sit down. “How did you feel today?” Nesta asked “I threw up when I woke up but Azriel left me a drink that helped with the hangover” you pretend you don’t notice Nesta’s raised brows. 

The following morning you return to the library and see Gwyn writing notes in a notebook. “Hi Gwyn”. “Oh, hi y/n.” she doesn’t look up “I’m copying the symbols we think might lead to your realm. If you’d like we can try it out right now, we just need to find an open space and some paint”  A few minutes later she finishes and frowns when she sees your expression “what’s wrong?” “Do you think this could actually work?” She looks unsure “maybe”.

[chirp-a-chirp]

Transcendence

Plot: A song about unconditional love has profound meaning for two of Rhodolite’s princes. A series of six stories featuring Clavis and Leon (and their eventual partners, Cassandra and Carla) and how this song is interwoven throughout their lives.  

Alternate Twist: The song is Calum Scott’s Biblical. This piece of fiction reimagines Clavis’s mom Lady Leticia writing the song for her son. Song lyrics referenced are indented throughout the stories.  

Characters: Clavis Leouch; Lady Leticia; Leon Dompteur; The Fourth Prince; Carla (OC for Leon); Richard Demandeur (Carla’s Dad); Cassandra (OC for Clavis)

Tags: Angst and Feels; fluff; unconditional love (romantic and non-romantic); OCs; mentions of slavery, terminal illness, and death of parents; sparkles...lots of sparkles

Tags Part 2: @wistfulwanderingone @ikeprinces-stuff @reborn-elven-spirit Hope y’all like this! @wistfulwanderingone thank you for letting me write this piece featuring your lovely OC Cassandra! (Seriously folks, check out her blog to learn more about Cassandra and Clavis!)

Note: There is list of characters & character pictures (OC pics thanks to neka) for each story. While each story can be read independently, the stories interweave and connect. If there's a callback to a previous story, it will be in bold red/purple font.   

Word count: 6 stories ranging from ~450 words to ~1600. ~6700 in total.

Song

Characters: Lady Leticia and (young) Clavis

Word Count: ~450

Synopsis: Lady Leticia gives Clavis a precious gift.

...

“Come dear, I have something for you.” A woman with flowing lavender hair and golden eyes led a boy of eight up a manicured path amidst the blooming rose gardens. She stopped at a clump of bushes and creeping ivy trellises near the palace. 

“But it’s not my birthday!” Little Clavis radiated excitement, his sparkling eyes darting at every rose bush as if a present would magically materialize.    

“Do I need a reason to give the joy of my life something?” Lady Leticia smiled. She was always smiling of course, but this smile was special—like the entirety of her happiness was concentrated at her son. “Now sit down like a well-behaved gentleman.”

“But how will I open my gift if I do that!?” Despite his question, Clavis sat on the grass, practically vibrating as he hugged his tucked knees. 

“It’s not that kind of present darling. Just listen to what I wrote.” Leticia stood a few feet away, her simple lavender and white dress billowing in the breeze. And then, she began to sing. 

Didn't know that I'd fall so hard Then my feet left the ground Gravity don't make no sense when you're around       

Clavis sat mesmerized. Sure, Chevalier might be the son of the queen and a once in a generation genius, but he didn’t a song written for him. He didn’t have a mom that loved him best. No one did. It was Clavis’s one advantage over his brothers. 

Leticia sang with a grace that transcended the realm of the ordinary. Her words seeped into Clavis’s veins, filling him with joy. 

I slip and wonder what I'd do If you never found me and I never found you I don't know what I'd do Well, I don't wanna see So won't you give me tonight And the rest of your life? I wanna have it all with you I wanna have it all with you

Clavis wanted it all. And with his mom, he had it. 

“I just wanted you to know I love you.” Leticia stopped singing and stepped towards her son, bending down to put both hands on Clavis’s cheeks. “But if you ever forget, remember this song and I’ll come back to you.”

“I’d never forget that mama!” Clavis propelled himself off the ground, throwing his arms around her in a fierce hug. “You’re always here.”

“My good, kind-hearted boy.” Leticia tucked a few flyaway lavender hairs behind Clavis’s ears. “I’ll always love you. No matter where I am.” 

“Can you sing it again? And again, and AGAIN?”

Leticia smiled, the picture of radiance. “OK, my dear. One more time.”

(Leticia would sing the song ten more times that day. Not nearly enough for Clavis.)

Promise

Characters: The fourth prince and (young) Leon

Word Count: ~850

Synopsis: Two boys talk about the future, with Leon making a promise that’ll reside in his heart for years to come.

Note: This story takes a premise mentioned in Leon’s Curse of Love Arc Bonus Ending and expands on it. 

...

A boy peered with wide-eyed curiosity at the singing woman, his breath fogging up the windowpane he pressed up against. His companion chuckled good naturedly. 

“If you lean any further, you’ll fall outside.” A sickly boy whose wild dark tresses and amber eyes mirrored the boy at the window smiled complacently.  

“I-I’m not interested at all.” The boy murmured to himself, moving quickly from his perch to return sitting at the foot of the bed. The window was partially open, the air carrying the woman’s melodious singing into the room. 

“That sounds like Lady Leticia. That’s your brother Clavis’s mother Leon.” 

“You mean YOUR brother’s mom.”  

“Clavis will be YOUR brother when I’m gone remember. That makes Lady Leticia your stepmother. She’s the nicest mom in the palace.”

“Your mom loves you though. Lots.” And it was true. Leon knew the fourth prince’s mom would do anything for her son. Including bringing a dirty look-a-like slave into the palace to replace him. But what she couldn’t do was look Leon in the eye. To acknowledge Leon would be for the fourth prince’s mother to acknowledge—  

“Yes, but I’m leaving her soon.” The prince seemed to read Leon’s thoughts. “And while mother loves me, Lady Leticia is the only mom that is nice to everyone.” The sickly boy patted to an open spot beside him on the bed. Leon scooted so that he and the prince sat side by side, their legs under thick purple and red quilts. The boys craned their heads as Leticia’s voice floated in the room.    

And when you open your eyes I'll be there by your side I wanna have it all with you I wanna have it all with you I wanna have it, I wanna have it all 'Cause your love is biblical It's biblical, it's biblical

“It must be nice.” Leon said under his breath. 

“What?” The fourth prince turned his head towards his companion. 

Leon’s cheeks turned light red, half in embarrassment, half in anger at himself. He needed to control his feelings better if he was going to really be a prince. But this was his friend—if anyone deserved what was honestly in his heart, it was him. The words were whispered, as if divulging his deepest secret. “To…to be loved like that.” 

The fourth prince tilted his head curiously. “You speak as if you don’t know what love is.”

“You know what my life was like before I came here!” Leon’s voice shook in barely repressed anger and anguish. His fingers curled into tight fists, fingernails leaving deep marks on his palms. “It was absolute Hell! Day after day.”

“Before then. Before you were a slave.”

“Before?” Leon grazed a hand over his chest, his index finger rubbing over lacerations covered in ointment underneath his white tunic. The last lashes Leon received before coming to the palace had been especially punishing, tearing through skin so deep there had been concern he would not make it due to blood loss. But that was typical treatment for slaves. They were replaceable, after all.         

“How could you recognize Clavis being loved if you hadn’t experienced it yourself?” The fourth prince inclined his head slightly, his bearing wise beyond his years. “You don’t remember everything that’s happened to you, when you were really young, right? There’s a good chance you were loved before. Even if you can’t recall it, your heart already knows what it is.”  

Leon chewed his lip. It was a lot to take in. 

“You don’t look like you believe me Leon.”

“I WANNA believe you.”

“That’s a start then.” The prince placed a pale hand over top of Leon’s. “You want to be a prince that’ll bring happiness to others. Be kind. Be a good person. Love ties all that together. You know that instinctively. I don’t need to teach you that because someone else already did.”

Leon furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t understand.” 

“If you’ve experienced love before, you can do it again. You’ll love the people as a prince. It can happen to you as well.” 

“Me? A former slave with a borrowed name?” The words were detached yet filled with doubt. 

The fourth prince pulled Leon into a hug, his arms tightening with surprising strength. “Yes, you. My friend.” There was a slight crack in the prince’s voice. “My only friend.”

Leon returned his embrace before pulling away, not wanting to overwhelm his sickly frame. The prince laughed quietly. “See, you chose to be kind even now.”

“Because you taught me—”

“I taught you politics; philosophy; names of important people. I did not teach you kindness.” The prince squeezed Leon’s hand. “When you find love again Leon, tell me what it’s like.”

But Leon thought that love would be for you through me. No one would ever actually love ME.    

“You’ll find it Leon.” The prince’s voice was quiet but resolute. “Promise you’ll tell me when you find it.” 

His friend would not ask him something that was impossible. However improbable it was. Leon squeezed his hand back. “I promise.” 

Loved Best

Characters: Clavis Leouch, Carla (OC) and Richard Demandeur (OC). References to Cassandra (OC)

Word Count: ~1,600

Synopsis: Clavis prepares for an extraordinary performance. Carla and her dad reminisce about the past and discuss the future.

Note: The male choir mentioned in this story sing the song “Biblical” like Johns’ Boys

...

“Forgive me, I know my handsomeness makes everyone stare, haha!” A pair of golden eyes gleamed through the haze. 

Carla coughed repeatedly, bending over her knees. “Ack, the smoke cannon didn’t work as expected Clavis!” She stood back up, frantically waving smoke away. Carla smoothed her billowing skirt, squinting at the fabric before exclaiming in exasperation. “Did you put sparkles in the cannon?!” 

“A sparkle cannon.” A man with gray hair and a neatly trimmed goatee raised an eyebrow. “THAT is what my daughter was helping you with?” 

“I DIDN’T know—ack, ACK!—sparkles had been added.” Carla hacked up a few shimmery pieces of paper.   

“You speak as if that weren’t a noble task for my seeker, Richard!” Clavis clapped a hand on the older man’s shoulder. 

The trio stood on an outdoor stage near an orphanage in the town of Leouch. Richard, one of the orphanage’s directors, had arranged for a performance to raise much needed funds. Clavis had promised to host an unforgettable event, with Carla assisting him. 

As Clavis’s seeker, her official job was locating items Clavis was too distracted to find himself—gears for cannons; chemical compounds; rare spices for Clavis’s…creative culinary pursuits. However, Carla found other things as well: books for the orphanage; jobs for the unemployed; sanctuary for refugees fleeing into Rhodolite. Carla was a seeker. A seeker of connection; of people; of hope. Many of the orphanage’s children (and other citizens of Leouch) had escaped or been spirited away from Obsidian. Where formal Rhodilitian policies did not provide protection for these refugees, people like Carla and Richard filled in the gaps—with shadow assistance from Clavis.    

“Impressive, is it not?” Clavis gestured to the cannon now that the smoke had (mostly) cleared. 

Richard kneeled, sweeping away sparkles before placing his knee on the ground. His rust-colored eyes squinted as he inspected the canon and nearby diagrams of the contraption. “If you made it 20% smaller and didn’t choke it up with your nonsensical glitter paper, it would be quite effective.” 

“But the sparkles make it—”

“If you say the sparkles make it sparkle, I will shake you.” Richard’s words were sharp, but Clavis beamed unrepentantly. Richard knew when young people pretended to not care. Prince Clavis presented an irreverent façade, but Richard knew he craved positive affirmation more than most others. However, sometimes a firmer tone was required.  

“I AM a prince, remember.”

“You only pull rank when you know I’m right,”Richard retorted. He returned his gaze to the diagrams, examining them with a thoughtful hum. “If you shrunk this cannon so it could be hand-held, Carla and I could take it on our next mission to Obsidian.” Richard got up from the ground, writing notes next to the diagrams with suggested modifications. The orphanage always had something that needed repair—fixing things was second nature to him. “We could use the cannon to fill a room with smoke or obscure a path.” 

Carla nodded excitedly. “The smoke bombs you gave us last time were GREAT, but once we throw them, we can’t use them again. Imagine a mini cannon we can use repeatedly!” 

“Your beloved prince will see what can be done.” Clavis smiled—genuinely smiled. A handheld canon would inspire much mischief.

“NO sparkles though.” Richard narrowed his eyes. “It would clog the smaller chamber too much.” 

“How boring.” Clavis pouted.   

“I know someone who WOULD appreciate a sparkle cannon though.” Carla’s eyes…well, sparkled, with humor. 

“Hmmm,” Richard murmured.

Carla “whispered” conspiratorially to her father, ensuring Clavis could hear her. “The…enchantress.” 

Clavis’s eyes gave off a mysterious shine, his face turning pink. 

“Am I EVER going to see Cassandra?” Carla jabbed Clavis lightly on the shoulder. “She’s met Cyran and your seneschal. I’m starting to think this lack of introduction to me and papa is deliberate.” 

“I’m starting to think this Cassandra’s mythical,” Richard muttered to himself. "Transcending reality."

“I would be delighted for you two to meet her! When the time is…appropriate,” Clavis intoned, plastering a smile back in place. Richard and Carla were forthright, honest individuals. They would get along famously with Cassandra. And they would quickly ask how she felt about him—really felt about him. And—

He was not prepared to hear the answer. Someone like her did not deserve a fool like him.       

“And when have you cared about appropriateness?” Carla chided mildly. She chose to not press further when Clavis remained silent, his smile shaking slightly. Carla and her father exchanged a look. “We’ll be here when you’re ready to introduce us.”

“In the meantime, maybe the choir could start practicing,” Richard suggested as he left the stage, urging Carla and Clavis to follow. “NO SPARKLE CANNON though.” Clavis pouted again as Carla wheeled the cannon away. 

A group of thirty—some male Leouchian citizens, the rest boys and staff from the orphanage—gathered on stage in lavender, gold, and white choir robes. “What song did you pick Clavis?” Carla tilted her head as the trio sat towards the back of the outdoor theater.  

“Just wait and see!” Clavis answered dramatically. “I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.” 

The other orphanage’s co-director walked to the stage with a conductor’s baton. As the choir began to practice, Richard turned a golden ring on his left hand. He sighed wistfully. “Your mother would have loved this song.”

“I’m sure papa.” Carla quietly held her father’s hand. 

And when you open your eyes I'll be there by your side I wanna have it all with you I wanna have it all with you 'Cause your love is biblical Biblical, it's biblical

“There’s no rule that says we can’t talk about the deceased.”  Clavis spoke with unusual mildness. “She sounds like a remarkable person.”  

“She taught me how to love. I have continued the lesson with Carla. And the children I look after, of course.”

“And you have always taught this lesson alone?” Clavis asked sympathetically. 

“When you have experienced love like that, nothing else compares.” Clavis flinched, feeling like he had intruded on something he should not have. “There was life before my wife died and life afterwards.” There was an air of finality in the older man’s statement, as though if he did not end the conversation now, he would break in front of them.  

So won't you give me tonight And the rest of your life? I wanna have it all with you I wanna have it all with you

Out of nowhere, Richard spoke again. “Your mother loved you best.” 

A flicker of shock ran through Clavis. He envisioned the rose garden where his mother first sang to him. I haven’t forgotten mama Clavis thought. If I weren’t a mediocre fool, I could have saved you. And you could have still loved me.

Even if you loved me second best.

Clavis’s thoughts were interrupted by Carla. “That’s not true papa, mom—”

“I don’t say that to make you feel guilty Carla. Your mother’s dearest wish was to see you born. She got that. I just wish...”

I wanna have it all with you I wanna have it all with you

“I wish she had had more time with you.”

“And you, papa.” Carla leaned her head against her father’s shoulder. After a few moments of silence, Carla murmured. “I wonder if I’ll ever have what you and mom had.”

“You will. One day, your heart will beat for another. Someone worthy—someone will be the hero for you that you are to others and to me.” 

“So, don’t settle for less than perfection?” The corners of Carla’s mouth lifted in a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. Papa always wanted the best. He couldn’t be anything less than protective and sentimental.

“I didn’t say that firefly.” Carla’s smile became warmer hearing her papa’s nickname for her. “Heroes are human. And vulnerable. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, and he with you, that’s love. You’re bad at that.” 

“I’m as bad as you are!”

“See, you deflect again. You’re nearly as bad at that as the purple disaster!” Richard huffed, pointing to Clavis. 

Clavis blinked and smirked to cover his scrambled thoughts. “If I’m the worst, it means there’s no one worse than me. I rather like the sound of that.”  

Carla rolled her eyes. “That’s NOT a compliment.” 

“Oh, papa didn’t complement his darling girl? How rare.” Clavis waggled his eyebrows. 

“You’re impossible!” Carla slapped the palm of her hand against her thigh, eyes flaring in irritation. 

“Impossibly handsome and clever, yes.” 

“CHILDREN.” Richard evoked the stern voice used at the orphanage when the kids were unruly. Clavis was one of the few individuals that could goad Carla into her more petulant, combative moods. “I meant don’t compromise on love. You’re too good for that, firefly. You too, despite your best efforts to hide it.” Richard gestured to Clavis with a jut of his chin. 

“Has old age made you senile?”

“My daughter may be stubborn, but she will not run when she finds her match. YOU, however,” Richard looked the third prince in the eye. “It will take years of patience and care to remove the walls you’ve built up, brick by brick. But eventually, someone will remove enough bricks to allow an opening into your heart. And they will love you as you deserve. And that love will be so strong there will be no room for even YOU to doubt her.” 

A pair of enthralling emerald eyes materialized in Clavis’s mind. A small hole pierced in Clavis’s heart at the vision, allowing a modicum of warmth to seep through. Just as quickly, the hole was patched up.  

Not yet. I must be sure Cassandra will stay.     

Story

Characters: Leon Dompteur and Carla (OC)

Word Count: ~1550

Synopsis: Leon and Carla unveil their deepest secrets/pain.

...

“I miss him. So much.” Carla sobbed, her head buried in the folds of Leon’s black shirt. 

Loneliness. It was something Leon knew well. He had traded the dismal dreariness of a slave’s tunic with the refined radiance of a prince’s robe. But the loneliness remained the same. He hated that Carla was feeling that now. 

Leon pulled Carla closer to him. The pair sat near a half-finished Clavis pit in the palace rose gardens, feet dangling off the muddy edge. The sun was setting below the Castle’s pristine white walls, the sky’s pink and golden hues slowly transforming into inky blues and violets. 

Leon felt useless, utterly useless. There was nothing for him to do. Carla’s father was gone. Grief for a beloved parent did not come with an instruction manual. But he could hold her—offer warmth, a semblance of security, when Carla had none.    

Carla turned her head from Leon, wet cerulean eyes looking down into the pit. “If I fell into darkness, would you catch me?” Carla flinched at her own words and their warbled inflection. What was she saying? Why was she saying it? Why couldn’t she get her father’s final moments out of her head even after all this time?

An arm encircled tighter along her waist. Calloused fingers traced slow, soothing circles below Carla’s ribs. “If you allowed it.” A huff of breath rumbled against Carla’s copper and ruby locks.

“No, that’s a lie. I’d do it regardless, even if you hated me for it,” Leon murmured. He tugged himself and Carla away from the pit, placing Carla’s curled form in his lap, arms enfolding her. Without conscious thought, Leon spoke the words from Lady Leticia’s song he heard all those years ago.  

If you evеr go to pieces Fall between thе thunder clouds I will put you back together, I won't let you down

“I won’t fall to pieces Leon.” Carla hated how pathetic she was acting, nestling her face against the crook of his neck, hands clinching the fabric of his shirt. Leon's words recalled bittersweet memories of her and her dad with that song. She didn’t want to show the trail of tears dripping down her cheeks (she was sure he could feel them dribbling down his skin, but Leon chose not to comment on it). “And I could never hate you. You’re too kind a person for that.” 

“You make me sound nicer than I am.” A low-throated rumble transformed to a rueful laugh. Dark hair tumbled over Leon’s face, tickling her forehead.

“No, I’m not. Take the compliment for once,” Carla sniffed. She found herself wanting to touch Leon’s dark locks—soft, gentle, free. She wanted to bind herself to something beyond the swirl of grief enveloping her.

“Maybe it would help if you talked about your dad.”    

This is just like Leon. Always listening to people’s burdens. What about him? Carla blinked a few tears away, her head moving slightly from Leon, eyes averted from his gaze. And then she saw them—for the first time, really saw them. 

Scars. 

They were faint, but still visible with the setting sun. Two angry lines ran across the top part of Leon’s chest that peeked out from his partially unbuttoned shirt, their fury lashing out. Smaller scars were interspersed with callouses on his hands. Carla was all but positive there were others hidden beneath layers of cloth and the casual but glittering confidence Leon projected.

“Kindness should go both ways.” Carla’s voice shook. She raised her head and straightened her back, turning slightly in Leon’s lap so she faced him. 

“You are kind, Carla.” The pad of Leon’s thumbs wiped away falling tears.       

Leon will always redirect attention from himself. Unless…“I’ll make you a deal.” The corner of Leon’s mouth lifted at her attempt to bargain with him. “I’ll share stories of papa…”

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable…

“…if you share how you got these.” Carla’s fingers grazed a path of a scar on Leon’s chest. 

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, and he with you, that’s love. Even now, her father’s words guided her. 

Leon caught his breath, his smirk evaporating. Arms that always seemed so strong trembled slightly. He couldn’t bring himself to lie, not to her. He didn’t regret his decision to live as the fourth prince, but he despised the taint of deceit that always followed him with that choice. And the distance he was forced to keep from his heart to enforce that choice. For once, he didn’t know what to say. Leon buried his head against Carla’s shoulder to avoid her look. 

He silences himself when he’s meant to roar. For several moments, the only thing heard was the intake of breath. “Thank you for not lying to me,” Carla whispered, her hand cradling the back of his head.

“I didn’t say anything though.” Leon’s arms tightened around her, as if afraid she’d disappear from admitting even this. 

“You could have claimed they came from battle. But you didn’t. And that’s not where they came from, is it?” It was less a question and more a statement. 

Leon raised his head, his expression giving away nothing. “What makes you so sure?”

“They’re too old looking for them to have happened to you as a soldier.” Carla’s voice was calm at first, but rose in volume, anger creeping in. Anger at whoever inflicted these wounds on him. “And most soldiers don’t carry whips as weapons.” 

“Why do you think they’re whip marks?” Leon did not contradict her previous remarks. Carla’s heart lurched at that. 

“Papa and I helped people who’ve been in Obsidian slave camps. I know what whip marks look like.” Carla continued, her eyes watering again as she envisioned Leon bracing himself against the lash of rawhide. “And if those scars didn’t happen when you were a soldier…” Carla gasped at her train of thought. “They happened when you were a child.”  

A deep, bone-weary sigh escaped Leon. “You’re too perceptive for your own good.” He sounded apologetic, as if Carla had stumbled upon a burden she now had to carry.  

“If you don’t want me remarking on your scars, consider buttoning up your shirt more.” Carla sniffled. Leon’s arms loosened as he tried to move away. Carla quickly pulled Leon back towards her, fingers gripping his upper back. “Don’t you dare let go. Please.”

The please got to him. It was as much a demand as it was a plea—for them both. Leon’s eyes widened and then closed in stark relief, his arms coiling around Carla’s back. “Most folks don’t get close enough to notice.” 

“Because you don’t let them.”

“Consider it a Carla-exclusive perk.” 

Carla’s heart fluttered at his words. “Whatever your truth is, I won’t think less of you for it.”

Leon tilted his head upwards, staring at the sky—a movement so habitual, it was practically automatic. He then looked back down at Carla, his amber eyes burning intensely. “It’s…quite a long story.”  

“Good thing there’s no reading involved then.” 

Ahhh, you really are too much Carla. “Hey, your deal was a story for a story. I won’t hide from this if you don’t.” 

A moment’s hesitation flickered in Carla’s expression. Leon caught her gaze and held it. If Leon can be brave, so can I. With a fortifying breath, Carla released her grip from Leon’s shoulders and began. 

“Once upon a time, there was a girl who held the world in her hand. That world w-was—” Carla stuttered to a stop, her throat catching. “That world was her papa. The pair lived alone, but with papa, the girl was never lonely.”  

Carla’s mouth trembled. Not trusting her voice, Carla shook her head. Leon placed a finger on her lips. “We can take turns if you like.” His eyes softened when she nodded.  

“Once upon a time, there was a boy with no name. Maybe he had one, but it’s been lost to history.” Carla’s body stilled entirely in his arms. “The boy’s first memory was holding bark in his hand. He was hungry, and there was nothing else to eat.”   

As the night wore on, Carla was in awe. She held in her arms a man who had been hurt so much but refused to be hardened. She saw a man who reflected light because he did not want others to feel encroaching darkness like he had. She grasped Leon’s hand, as if she could reach out to the little boy who held nothing but the peeled remains of dying trees.

Leon’s hand grasped back, fingers curling against hers. And then, an image flashed in his mind—several berries being placed in his hand alongside the bark. 

I’m sorry dear. It’s all I have. 

Leon desperately tried to place the disembodied voice with the fragment of memory but couldn’t. But he knew one thing. The voice ached for him. And he had been loved before.

Leon’s fingers moved towards the berries, but instead found something more. His fingers were entwined with Carla’s, her hold tender, but refusing to let go.    

“When you find love again Leon, tell me what it’s like.” The fourth prince’s words rang in Leon’s mind. And finally, after all these years, he had an answer. 

Love left him breathless. It left his heart searing with warmth, seeking light that had long evaded him. 

It left him free.  

Enchanted

Characters: Clavis Leouch and Cassandra (OC)

Word Count: ~1450

Synopsis: Clavis surprises Cassandra with an unforgettable night.

...

A gentleman must always entertain his audience. But allow me to surprise you. 

“Close your eyes, enchantress.” Clavis’s endearment fell from his lips, a melody that caressed Cassandra’s ears. She wished she could hear her name spoken again in such tender tones—a refrain that, if granted, would make her heart soar.

“Isn’t that a tad excessive?” Cassandra retorted playfully. She could easily picture a breathtaking smile brimming with wonder. Each time they were together, she felt an unspoken harmony between them, one that resonated deep within her. “Afterall, I’m already wearing a blindfold.”

“Two blindfolds dearie.” Clavis bopped Cassandra’s nose twice, his index finger lingering on the tip of her nose with the second bop. Cassandra instinctively leaned forward, missing Clavis’s touch when his hand sauntered away. He had a way of lingering in her thoughts, his teasing mischief inspiring her to enjoy the moment. 

Speaking of inspiration…Cassandra heard something moving, her heart thrumming with anticipation. She sat on a bench, in a location within the palace rose gardens she rarely explored. Yves and Licht had warned her this area of the gardens was where Clavis experimented the most with his pit traps (and the 5th and 6th princes had the dirt-stained clothes to prove it). Not that they needed to caution her on this—besides Chevalier, Cassandra was the only person at the palace who hadn’t fallen into one of Clavis’s traps. 

“Move it a little more to the left.” 

Even with multiple layers of cloth, Clavis could envision Cassandra’s delicate eyebrows lifting wryly as she spoke. And her eyes—shiny emeralds that captivated with grace and tart humor, were ones Clavis could easily get lost in if he allowed it. “Do I need to add a third blindfold?”  

The force of Cassandra’s tinkling laughter moved the blindfolds just enough for her to see the faint flush of pink on Clavis’s cheeks. She quickly readjusted the cloth to cover her eyes as to not ruin the surprise Clavis had put his heart into producing—whatever it was. 

“No, you need to move whatever it is you have to the left.” Cassandra’s feet shuffled in anticipation. When she didn’t hear Clavis move, Cassandra decided to spur him to action. “You know, I bet Carla would agree with me. Maybe that’s why you won’t let me meet her.” Cassandra had heard many stories from Cyran about Carla—Carla procured most of the items for Clavis’s traps and experiments, a job Cyran was very grateful to not be saddled with. Between collecting things for Clavis and working with former Obsidian refugees, Carla seemed like a fascinating individual. 

Not as fascinating as Clavis, Cassandra thought. No one is.    

A quick, sharp burst of jealousy tore through Clavis at the mention of his seeker’s name. He did NOT want his enchantress to be thinking of anyone else besides him in this moment. “You will meet Carla when it is…appropriate.” 

“Do you know what appropriate means Clavis?” Cassandra murmured. 

Oh Hell, Cassandra and Carla would get along all too well. Clavis had thought this more than once in his life. Both ladies had remarked on Clavis’s questionable perceptions of appropriateness. But while he and Carla bickered with the familiar but fierce affection akin to siblings, he and Cassandra danced an elusive tango of delicate flirtation.  

Cassandra gave him everything—her laughter, her patience, her impatience. She was the first person in two decades who made him feel like he was enough. After years of banter, they had built a rapport with one another—one where Cassandra felt free to drop her walls and the lofty expectations placed upon her by her family. Over time, Clavis had seen a glimmer of defiance from her noble upbringing, and it had become a powerful beacon that shown within.  

Moreover, she stayed with him. And she seemed all the more delighted for it. 

“This performance is for your eyes only. But, as a gentleman, I will move your surprise as requested. Which left should I move it towards?” 

“There’s only one left!”

“My left or yours?” 

“Why don’t you pick then?”

“I thought there was only one left I could choose dearie.”

Cassandra was delicate like fire, her words playful, hinting at the ability to scorch if truly provoked. Yet her essence was all warmth. “Why don’t you pick the left that is…appropriate then?”

With a chuckle, Clavis wheeled his new and improved cannon from behind a pink rose bush. The cannon was designed smaller per the recommendations of Carla’s father. Clavis winced subtly at the memory of Richard. He was gone far too soon. The one specification Clavis did NOT adhere to—he kept the sparkles. Cassandra deserved the best after all.  

“Clavis, are…are you sure I deserve this?”

Clavis turned his head upon hearing Cassandra’s hesitant tone. She was an honest individual—more so than most. Her question was not a feeble ploy of feigned doubt disguised as flirtation like many noble women were taught. Clavis knew Cassandra would occasionally throw a spark of doubt at herself, a spark that could rage into an inferno quickly. Who better to diagnose crippling doubt than a mediocre fool like myself? 

“Absolutely. No one is more worthy.” Clavis spoke seriously, prepping the cannon to be ignited. 

Cassandra bit her lip, her thoughts scattering at Clavis’s sincerity. In moments like this, when the carefree mask of Clavis was gone, and their light banter pushed aside, it was impossible to ignore how she needed him. Before Clavis, Cassandra lived within the shadow of her family and what they permitted for her. Without Clavis, Cassandra forgot how to live, how to find joy in the unexpected and the unimagined. But now…

Cassandra lowered her face. Even while wearing blindfolds, she could feel the intensity of Clavis’s gaze. She then spoke with quiet reverence.

I slip and wonder what I'd do If you never found me and I never found you I don't know what I'd do

“How…how do you know those words?” Clavis blinked in astonishment. His hand slipped from behind the cannon, unaware that he had now lit a rather shortened fuse. “Surely you haven’t heard that song—"

“Song, what song?” Now it was Cassandra’s turn to be confused. “I…merely spoke what’s in my heart when I think of you.”

My God, Clavis thought. She’s an enchantress. She’s an ACTUAL enchantress. I really MUST—

BOOM!

There was a cacophony of sound—a cannon explosion, feet shuffling and stumbling, Cassandra coughing as smoke billowed all around, and Clavis yelling in shock before—

THUD!

Cassandra yanked the blindfolds off, coughing as lavender smoke sprinkled with golden sparkles swirled in the air. She suspected the smoke wasn’t supposed to be this pervasive. Her eyes widened once she saw an outline of a cannon through the haze, and widened even more when she didn’t see Clavis anywhere. 

“Ugggh…”

Cassandra walked past the cannon, squinting through the smoke to see a half-finished pit trap. At the bottom was a disheveled, slightly dazed Clavis. Clavis raised his head, waving his hands to clear his vision, and at the sight of Cassandra, wholly wished he could bury himself alive. He sighed inwardly, trying to not unravel each flaw before her.

“Are you OK?!”

Clavis could only nod. To do anymore would break the control he tried desperately to hold onto.

And then, the most remarkable thing happened. “You DID promise me a surprise. You certainly delivered that.” 

There was no mockery in her statement. With one fell swoop, Cassandra managed to both unsettle and sooth him.

“I’m touched. No, really Clavis. No one has ever done something this extraordinary for me before.”

Extraordinary? You really think so? Clavis couldn’t believe it.

“CASSANDRA?!” Yves’s voice pierced through the air. “I heard an explosion!”

The lavender haze still obscured Cassandra from Yves’s line of sight. Without thinking, Cassandra jumped into the pit, fumbling a bit until she was laying down next to Clavis. 

“Well, you finally fell into one of my traps dearie.”

“I don’t think it counts if I willingly jumped in.” Cassandra leaned her head against his shoulder. 

“Oh, I suppose so. I’ll just have to double my efforts then.” Clavis bopped Cassandra on the nose, his playful demeanor almost completely back.

“Can we stay here a little longer? Before Yves finds us?” Cassandra dared to ask. She did not want the night’s adventure to end. “We could watch the stars.” Clavis did not point out the impracticality of this with the smoke. 

“Oh look. Hehe!” Cassandra’s laugh was unguarded and full of joy as the wind carried numerous golden sparkles that floated into her outstretched hands. At the sight of her laughter, Clavis remembered his mother’s singing. 

I come up against myself when Demons in my head get loud I don't know how you do it, but you turn them down

“It’s like the stars have come to us!” Cassandra took the sparkles and placed them in the third prince’s hand. “Thank you Clavis.”   

Clavis smiled softly. No, thank you, enchantress. For thinking I’m worthy. For caring for me. For loving—

Maybe you do love me best. 

Transcendence 

Characters: Clavis Leouch; Leon Dompteur; Carla (OC); Cassandra (OC)

Word Count: ~800

Synopsis: Sparkles. Lots of Sparkles. And six stories connecting together.

...

“Blindfolds, again Clavis?” Cassandra murmured in amusement. “This is starting to feel like de ja vu.”   

“Clavis blindfolds you on a regular basis?” Carla tittered, her copper locks swaying lightly. She and her dear friend Cassandra sat in a rose covered gazebo within the palace gardens, their eyes concealed with golden blindfolds. “Somehow, I’m not surprised.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s on a regular basis…”

“Tut, tut, tut!” Two fingers encased in a white glove lightly touched Cassandra’s mouth, tracing her lower lip. Clavis tilted Cassandra’s chin so he could better view her rosy face. “Don’t give away our secrets my lovely lover!” 

“I AM surprised at how you’ve corrupted Leon!” Carla turned her head towards the direction of Clavis’s voice.  

“My little brother is quite the mischief maker beneath his golden image.” Clavis preened with pride. “He didn’t need much convincing.”

“I did say your night was gonna change forever.” Leon grinned shamelessly. 

“When you told me to take your hand, I didn’t think I would be blinded later.” Despite her grumbling, Carla was thoroughly enjoying herself.

“Blindfolds can add a little spice to things,” Cassandra chimed in. 

Carla chuckled. “I bet Leon has a giant smirk on his face.” 

“Hey Clavis, you got another blindfold? I think my lioness can see us.” 

“Ha! I think Carla can see through YOU.” Clavis smacked Leon on the back. “And no, no more blindfolds. But I DO have rope if a certain seeker is being naughty.”

“I am NEVER procuring you rope again Clavis!” Carla stomped her foot on the ground. “I know Sariel, Yves, and Licht would be thrilled!”  

“Ropes ALSO can add a little spice to things…” 

“Don’t talk about spices Cass. I just had to buy the oddest seasonings for your prince—do you know how difficult it is to find purple—Hey!” Carla giggled as she was lifted from her chair. Her hands looped around Leon’s neck as he sat down. 

“There aren’t enough chairs. Guess we gotta share.” Leon’s voice nipped at Carla’s ear, his nose nuzzling against her cascading locks as he placed her in his lap. “Don’t let go. Keep your eyes on me.”  

“That’s kinda hard to do with—!" Carla gasped as the blindfold was pulled down towards her neck by Leon’s teeth.   

“I’m pretty sure there are plenty of spare chairs in the Castle.” Cassandra replied, smirking. 

“Shhh!” Leon and Carla placed a finger on their lips. They turned, and upon seeing their expressions mirroring one another, burst out laughing.  

“And Clavis, would a gentleman keep his lady—”

“You’re absolutely right, enchantress.” Clavis removed Cassandra’s blindfold with a theatrical flourish before placing his hand back in her lap. “Just wait everyone. My brother and I have a grand surprise.” 

A group of ten men appeared in front of the gazebo facing the two couples. Carla’s eyes widened as she recognized the lavender, gold, and white choir robes the group wore. Suddenly, twin explosions erupted nearby, lavender and red smoke rising in the air.  

“The cannon!” Cassandra exclaimed in delight. “Two of them!”

“You got it to work! And with the sparkles!” Carla beamed, glittering paper cascading all around.  

Clavis grinned at their reactions, his excitement infectious. “With a few modifications, nothing is impossible. Plus, Leon helped.”

“Actually, one of my soldiers has a brother who’s a weapon-smith helped out.” Leon combed his fingers through Carla’s hair to remove sparkles. 

“Sparkles as weapons. And entertainment.” Cassandra laughed, her eyes dancing. 

“Oh, there’s more to enjoy.” Clavis gestured as the choir began singing. 

Didn't know that I'd fall so hard Then my feet left the ground Gravity don't make no sense when you're around

Each person watching the performance was caught in their own thoughts and memories.

Carla’s eyes shimmered with affection, her hand grasping Leon’s. Once upon a time, there was a girl who held the world in her hand. She did not need words to tell the story that was in her heart.

Leon held Carla close, basking in her warmth. 

“Love can happen to you as well.” 

“Me? A former slave with a borrowed name?” 

“Yes, you. My friend.”

She would always be there for him, regardless of who he was.

Cassandra caressed Clavis’s cheek. “You really are the best, love. Never forget that.” I merely spoke what’s in my heart when I think of you.

Clavis brought Cassandra’s hand towards his lips, kissing her palm. 

I love you. But if you ever forget, remember this song. He would never forget. Cassandra was here to stay, her love healing the fractured parts of his heart.

So won't you give me tonight And the rest of your life? I wanna have it all with you I wanna have it all with you

And the two pairs knew that they always would.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Have you seen the movie gifted? It never fails to make me cry, Chris does so well in it and so does Makena god that girl knows how to act.

Honestly one of my favourite movies to date, father daughter duos are my fave. Chris acting as a parental figure is so sweet!! And who doesn't love a rough exterior guy who's good with kids.

It always loops me around to thinking about Steve having a kid dropped on him and having to navigate being a father, maybe a one night stand turned baby mama 9 months later who wants nothing to do with a baby.

Steve would be such a good dad too, I know he'd want the best for his kid. He'd have a big freak out initially and struggle but once he gets used to it a bit more he just loves it. He loves his kid and he knew that as soon as he laid eyes on the kid but now he actually has time to sit and just FEEL it. His little baby has his eyes and it makes him want to sit and cry.

One winter soldier saga later, Bucky is back and finds out Steve has a kid, maybe 2 or 3 at this point. Bucky is nervous staying with Steve while he's healing to begin with but with a kid in the house? No way. Steve manages to wrangle him to stay and Bucky and the baby actually form a little bit of a cute connection.

When Steve and Bucky find their romantic side again and Bucky is free from the hydra shit in his head, they really form their own little family. And god the domesticity of it all makes me want to cry and sob and cry. They'd both be such good dads and sooo protective, the best protected kid around I'm sure you can imagine.

I can totally see Steve and Bucky being the type of parents to be anxious messes when their baby starts school and their kid is as confident as ever, not even looking back as they run off to find friends.

Ragggh it just makes me wanna cry.

Parent Stucky for life 💔💔‼️‼️

I haven't seen Gifted (note my tag "watch? party?" lol). But, from the clips/gifs on Tumblr, it seems really sweet and like, yeah, they both do wonderfully in it!

Even though I haven't seen it, it's still wild to me whenever I realize just how old McKenna is now, haha. Like, she's still acting, but most often, because I'm not an avid consumer of movies/TV/series, I come across her in the music scene and like... when did this little girl turn into a teenage punk rock icon? 💀💀

I love it.

"And who doesn't love a rough exterior guy who's good with kids."

I have no idea! I don't even want kids personally, or really like kids all that much (I didn't grow up around younger kids and so they're a total mystery to me, lol) and it still gets me, lmao. Especially when it's Chris and/or stucky.

Steve would be such a good dad, yeah!! He'd take after his mama and be great at it <3 Definitely an adjustment, too, but he can handle it.

"He loves his kid and he knew that as soon as he laid eyes on the kid but now he actually has time to sit and just FEEL it. His little baby has his eyes and it makes him want to sit and cry."

AW

I am so amused by the idea that Steve either continues to have accidental children with one night stands because, one, that's just funny to me, two, how carried away can you get, wouldn't you learn your lesson after one misstep, no matter how much you love your baby, wrap that super dick up, Steven, and, three, not so funny, but I can actually see that happening because if this is canon Steve, why would people stop at trying to steal his blood? They'd probably also want his super serum babies, too. Then, maybe it's not that he's forgetting to wrap it before he taps it, but those pretty gals are poking holes in his condoms, acting as more heads of HYDRA 👀

So, my addition to this is me saying more kids. Not just one. By the time Bucky shows up, I want him to have two or three, haha. Like, Bucky is so fucking confused. He's like, there is one child... okay, there are two?... wait. THREE?! STEVEN, I TOLD YOU TO NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID UNTIL I GOT BACK. WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE OFFSPRING. AND--w-without me? 👉🏻👈🏻

Oh my god, though, yeah, Bucky is reeling from that. He doesn't know what to make of it. He is very much refusing at first, but I think it would end up being really good for him.

Besides, it's cute. Steve feels very, very domestic with a kid (or two) and Bucky in his house.

Exactly! The domesticity! Just their little family. Adorable <3

Oh, for sure, they're anxiety ridden parents. They both got to therapy ('cause god they need it), and they go to therapy together, and their therapist is constantly, gently reminding them that they shouldn't be so overprotective or helicoptering their kid(s). Like, sure, it's logical for the kid(s) of Captian America and The Winter Soldier, but it's only logical to a certain extent. Their baby needs to be able to have alone time and develop their own independence, too. They're teaching their kid(s) and learning themselves, too.

If you're still in the mood for kid fics, might I suggest:

"Setting: In A Honeymoon" by me

and

"you will always be my favorite form of loving" by thiccbuckybarnes

and that's it because I don't normally read kid fics myself, haha

[maochira]

After reading Noa, Chris and Lavinho as father figures I can only imagine them giving the reader "the talk", just because they saw him talking very closely to a teammate or a friend. Chris is 100% the kind of father figure who says "you're at an age where your hormones are crazy, you need to understand a lot of things" and Lavinho wouldn't be ashamed to give the talk to the reader, making it clear that it's totally normal at his age. BUT NOA WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSED, HE KNOWS TALK IS NECESSARY BUT SHY TO TALK.

I LITERALLY CAN NOT STOP GIGGLING ABOUT THIS. IT'S SO TRUE. Omg that just really makes me want to write more for these headcanons and make them like a series,,, so request some stuff in asks!!!

The headcanons mentioned: Noa, Chris and Lavinho becoming your father figure

Series masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, sexual themes mentioned but nothing explicit, the headcanons linked above are good to know for context but not needed (basically reader has neglecting parents or no father figure in their life, so Noa/Chris/Lavinho decided to be their father figure), reader is a teenager

Giving "the talk" (headcanons)

Noel Noa

-he's so unsure about what you know already and what you don't know yet, but he really wants you to be educated so nothing bad happens. Like, he's pretty sure you learned about it in school but he wants to be double sure. Also, he thinks it's better for him to explain because then you can ask him questions if you have any

-also, he doesn't trust your biological parent(s) to educate you properly, so like many other things about you, he makes it his job to take care of

-Noa is definitely the type of guy to write notes on his hand or arm to look at so he can really make sure he won't forget anything

-he keeps telling himself "today I'll talk to them about it" then he gets too nervous about it and doesn't. It takes him at least 3 weeks until he finally drops the "I think there's something I need to talk about with you"

-he does it during one of those car rides in the rain after soccer practice. But he stops in some parking lot to talk to you about it

-and it ends up being easier for Noa than he expected. To his surprise, you were fairly well educated already, but there were still things you didn't know yet. So giving you "the talk" was a good decision

Chris Prince

-unlike Noa, he didn't put any thought into it before. I mean, he didn't get the chance to. Him giving you "the talk" happened very much out of nowhere for Chris, because you were the one who asked him about it

-he's a bit surprised, but also happy and proud that you trust him enough to ask him about something like this

-he's serious throughout the entire talk, making sure you understand everything properly

-he would repeat over and over how important consent for everyone involved is and how it's okay to say no and stop, even throughout "the act"

-when the conversation is coming to an end, he tries to make everything more lighthearted by saying some jokes but he would also be serious at the same time, making sure you know you can ask him any questions at any time

Lavinho

-not embarrassed or nervous at all, although he does think about how to address it to you for a couple days

-is very open and doesn't mind talking to you about this, it's a normal thing after all. And hey, you're very much like father and kid so he has to be the one to educate you, because no one else will do it well if he doesn't

-I feel like usually, even during serious conversations with you, he tends to goof around a lot to make you laugh every now and then, but this time he doesn't

-okay that was a lie he would definitely drop a random deez nuts joke in the middle of it and then continue talking as seriously as before, as if the joke never happened. If you continue laughing, he would tease you with "Uhmmm what's so funny??? This is serious" and then laugh along with you for a bit, before returning to a serious tone again

-he would mainly talk about how a lot can happen emotion-wise during puberty, not just related to "the talk", and that everything is completely normal

[little-paperboat]

2024 Writing Year In Review & Reflections

Thank you to @purpleasters-inseptember and @forget-me-maybe for the tags! I'm merging both games because some questions were quite similar :)

I'm a bit late but we're still in the early days of January so I guess it's fine!

Answers under the cut because it got veeeeeery long (in 2025 i'm a certified yapper). If @swordbisexual @graysparrowao3 or @diaphanouso want to participate, this is a no pressure tag for you (& sorry if you've already done it!) 🤍

Words posted: 64,060 words, of which:

16,450 words on is a heavy heart too much to hold?

47,610 words totals on the four parts of the i burned my fingers on this forbidden fire series

Words unposted: well, the content of two whole chapters that I'm still working on and didn't get to see the light of day in 2024, so probably about 6,000 according to my calculations?

Total word count: 64,060 - keeping this nice and round number of what I *actually* wrote in 2024.

Fandoms: Baldur's Gate 3 and Arcane

Highest Kudos: a mindblowing 342 on heavy heart, I'm still in awe of such a high show of love!!

Highest One-Shot Hits: n/a, I haven't written any one shot (I guess I could try but let's be honest, I don't think I'm wired to write one-shots unless they’re 3km long) but my AO3 currently registers 4,664 hits for heavy heart, which is absolutely insaneeeeee

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn't repeat them 788 times?

Feel, probably. I'm sure there's many, many more, I just don't want to think about it too much lest it gives me more word anxiety 😬

New things you tried:

Planning a long and multi-chapter fic from start to end

Writing a x reader/you point of view

Writing smut

Writing a fight scene

Very exciting, challenging and rewarding in all cases!

I’ll also add reading stories that were out of my comfort / knowledge zone, and finding myself discovering new styles, kinks, perspectives, emotions. ❤️

What's been your biggest learning point this past year?

Well, getting back into writing, for one, and (painfully) (re)learning that writing is hard. Yeah yeah I know it's my hobby and I love all those little freaks in my head, but for it to be good and satisfying, the exercise of writing really requires - for me - a structure and organisation that I hadn't really anticipated the importance of (and still haven't mastered 🫡)

also learning to accept the compliments and love (see question below :))

How has your writing developed this past year?

I focused more on writing *like me* and less trying to imitate others. It's been quite challenging, since there's always a part of me that finds other authors' styles better, more unique, or just overall nicer - and I often find myself wanting to emulate that.

But I've also learned to read, accept and really integrate all the lovely compliments that I've received on my different works, and that tremendously helped me to feel proud of my "style", which was lovingly described as "romantic and whimsical". And you know what? I like it :)

Bad writing habits?

I'm a terrible procrastinator. I spend 90% of the time daydreaming and 10% actually sitting down to write + if I get thrown off-schedule for whatever reason, it can take me weeks to get back into it. But if I don't write for an extended period of time, I tend to spiral and feel like I cannot do it anymore. So yeah, inconsistency is a big one. Add overthinking to the mix and, uh. Not exactly an ideal combination.

I’ll add that, although it isn’t exactly a bad habit, I write terribly, terribly slowly. I wish I didn’t, but it’s the one thing in my life (along with not being a morning person no matter how hard I try to re-wire my brain) that annoys me the most, and yet I am unable to change. 🐌

Fic you took the most time on: forbidden fire, between the initial concept, planning the outline, writing and editing... it's taking for everrr - and especially the current chapter 5, which is taking 3 months to come out and for what 😭

Fic you took the least time on: heavy heart, although it's starting to add up!

Favourite thing you wrote?

Ohhhh. Oh. It's hard to say! I think wild winds are death to the candle, because it was my come-back to writing fanfiction and I'm really proud of the care i put into it! I also loved the first salty interaction between Tav and Rolan. Pure spite, zero braincells.

Favourite fics you read this year?

Wayyyyy too many! I've read more fanfics this year than ever before, for so many different characters as well, mostly the BG3 characters and Jayce/Viktor from Arcane. Unfortunately I haven't always been diligent in my AO3 bookmarks and overall it's really hard to make a choice - but I had started to compile a list of my fav Rolan x Tav works, I should post it :)

If I had to choose right now, from the top of my head, I'd say:

Deeply and Immovably So by @dutifullylazybread

Magistrate's Advocate by @cinnamontails-ff

Lead Me Through the Dark by @darkurgetrash

As well as Convergence for the Arcane fandom <3

All these works have been absolute game-changers in my approach to writing, to universe-, characters- and plot-building, and I hold these works very, very dear to my heart (and I have to catch up quite a few chapters actually!)

Biggest win?

I'll steal @forget-me-maybe's words: finding my little space and community in the big bad world. These communities have been an incredible safe space for me, to explore my love for the characters, and to feel like I was part of something. 2024 has been a year of big personal changes and development and getting to find comfort and joy here has helped me in ways I cannot really put into words.

Shoutout especially to Rolan Nation because it was (is?) such a small community and it was so lovely to watch it grow and interact with wonderful people. ❤️

Finding other people who cared as much about my beloved characters has truly been a heartwarming experience. I don't often get to feel like I'm part of something, but this year, I did :)

(Writing) goals for 2025:

finish forbidden fire AND resuming the two-weeks posting schedule. I've accumulated a lot of delay but I care for it so much and I absolutely want to see it through, hopefully it'll be done by spring or early summer!

finish heavy heart: I only have two more chapters planned so this shouldn't be too much of a problem ;)

stealing word for word from dear @purpleasters-inseptember, writing a few one-shots to practice a shorter word count, but also exploring different and more characters

in the same fashion, exploring more tropes that I like

it's not a writing goal but I really, reaaaaally want to begin drawing. I so want to join in and show you all my ocs!! :)

New works for 2025:

a gale x tav fic (and hopefully an astarion x tav too) as little snippets of their adventures together

some more viktor x reader/oc and jayvik x reader/oc

and we'll leave it at that because... that's already a lot haha

What are you excited for in the new year?

Making more friends :)

Reading and writing more stories, and exploring new things in my writing

Getting to improve my writing and expand my vocabulary

Just being around for one more year of fandom shenanigans here - and maybe fall in love with new characters!

Thank you for these questions! It was long but very fun to answer :)

And a merry January to all of you ✨

[upslapmeal]

Space Babies

Ok so I've been hopeless at doing my usual Episode Thoughts during s14 but if I don't get them posted before the finale then I never will. SO. the next few days will be a trip down memory lane to a whole 6 weeks ago before I'm off to the cinema on friday night!

here we goooo

no cold open we’re going straight in babes (heh)

I know we had it last ep but I do love a good seeing-the-tardis-for-the-first-time face

‘I’m the doctor’ yes you are!!

man I wasn’t a huge fan of 15's theme just hearing on its own in the concert but hearing it in context with him it works SO well

‘kinda posh’

‘they used titles’ and then i kidnapped a couple of teachers, told one to drop the 'Foreman' and the rest is history

ngl I've totally lost track of the gallifrey sitch

the master was going to blow it up then he didn't then the Doctor was going to then some guy stayed behind instead and then flux??

whatever we're back to last-of-my-kind square one

this is gallifrey theme my beloved how I have missed you

Martha and Bill yelling I told you so in the distance about the butterfly

‘Rubathon Blue of the 57th hemisphere hatchlings’ good to know I've got my Ruby tag sorted early doors!

anyway alien companion when

ooh they're going for a flying tardis

love fifteens energy!!

‘most of the universe is knackered babes’

‘the question is why did I run’ Doctor running is a key part of your whole deal. you know this right

‘yet again push the button’………when was the first time

(I have since learned there was meant to be a song on the jukebox that tied to this...would have been nice to see the jukebox being used. and also would have made these comments make sense)

…..baby looms?

‘food????? they’re not tomatoes!!’ lmao Fifteen is SO outraged

oh Ruby’s getting an End of the World moment <3

‘no boss or rent or taxes’ yeah forget time and space travel, NOW Ruby's thinking she's gotta get in on this

oh that baby is unsettling

oh no that baby mouth does not match that voice 

‘mummy and daddy are here!’ Ruby and Fifteen: 😬

it's so weird having fairly confident small child voices paired with very vacant baby faces

.....do these babies have nappies? that they change??

aww you can really see Ruby is used to kids, lifetime as a foster sister <3

ok Captain Poppy is the only voice so far that kinda works

‘oh popsicle’ naww Fifteen is so sweet with them

Fifteen and Poppy are so cute!!

also lol I love RTD going hard with the timeless child at every opportunity

‘nappies are changed at 1800h’ ok well that explains that

Ruby: ‘I didn’t mean to scare you 💞’ Fifteen: 'hey kids it's the BOGEYMAN!!!!!!' Ruby: 😠

ok listen. I know this is not it. but the boots and the length of the trousers.......Ruby's mum kinda looks like Thirteen

oh that's very much a hug-is-a-way-to-hide-your-face hug there

‘that’s the fate of every refugee, you have to physically turn up on someone’s shore’

Eric and the world’s most tiny and useless sword

‘a crock of waste product'

‘nice plan but what now' Ruby hon. this was your plan

you can really tell Ruby is used to looking after kids

‘don’t you touch them you illegitimate person’

FLAMETHROWER BABIES

oh Fifteen knows Ruby’s a keeper

‘oh babes…space babes’ lol Fifteen's just here to have fun (space) baby

‘it’s snot’ ‘it’s not’ the beauty of the english langauge

‘it is one of your children!!’ :(

even the (space) babies think that death by airlock disintegration a bit much

awooooooo!

I guess seeing the doctor save the bogey monster made them less scared??

appreciate RTD's commitment to getting some good fart work in both his first series of this show lol

but what will happen to the monster on the new planet??

like sure it's their sibling but.....does it know that?

‘I’m very very happy’ says the baby with the most sorrowful eyes I’ve ever seen

tardis key!!

Ruby letting 15 into the tardis <3

RIP Carla Sunday's kitchen ceiling 

first a crack and now this......at least the Doctor's giving the local plasterer good work

‘what the blinking flip’ Cherry Sunday's got a nanny filter on her

‘tell your mum not to slap me’ Thirteen got off light with Yaz’s mum

now when are we meeting the timelord called The Saggy Sheet??

the Doc's just going around giving their name willy nilly now lmao

as it should be I never enjoyed their name being a Big Mystery

kinda wish we got to see Ruby's family react to learning more about the Doctor!

hmmmm the dna scan is giving me v s6 vibes (derogatory)

Well that was a weird one, but since when hasn't DW been weird! Ngl it took me watching a second time to enjoy it a bit more because I was just SO thrown off by the baby voices lmao, but it was just generally a fun time, nothing too serious and just a chance to see a bit more of Fifteen and Ruby's dynamic! And it did tie in nicely to the ideas of Ruby and the Doctor both being abandoned, Ruby being a foster sister and the Doctor being the last of their kind. Two baby episodes in a row is enough for me though, glad it looks like next ep is baby-free, space or otherwise 😅

[binary-not-found]

Okay, I love Chase, I love that she doesn't let herself be intimidated and is herself at all times no matter what, she is firm to who she is and what she believes in, so I know in my heart that she knew it was Kate who was with Lucy, not only because Kate is probably not there very often and it's a new vibe in her space, but because of the pure and warm energy that Kate has

Because Lucy asks if she felt her strength or stern authority, and Chase's answer is that she actually felt sincerity, and if Chase is as good as I know she is, it speaks to how Kate always acts following her heart, doing what she knows is the right thing 🥺

Lucy is one of the most genuine characters I know, she is distracted, when she concentrates she can't talk/listen to another subject, she has phobias, she is stubborn and afraid to show her feelings but at the same time she has the heart of a child and is very sentimental, so seeing this kind of scenes where she is real, not wanting to see her friend get a wound stitched up, showing displeasure in her own way, makes me very happy, especially the way Kate reacts to this, she is just so happy to see how silly her girlfriend is

And the best scene in the whole series finally came, I find it very funny how Kate was so sure she had let that go and as soon as Lucy mentions it she immediately panics.

Kate's face of disappointment and surprise when Kai said "CPA" with full confidence in his response 😅

This one just because I love watching them mess around with each other, and Kate and Lucy standing next to each other is always cute ❤

How cute she looks so nervous to say it in front of everyone and goes over to tell Lucy first, as if to make sure it wasn't anything ridiculous and that she was going to be able to say it in front of the others, plus Lucy's totally excited response wanting her to already tell them 🥺🥰

"Miss America!"

Everyone's reaction and Jane saying Kate would have made a great Miss America just so Kate could feel more comfortable after noticing her nervous, and the way she can joke once Jane makes the comment, they are a family and every time they are welcoming her in a better way and making her feel part of them, I love them 💗

And of course you didn't think I was going to leave out the best thing about the episode, knowing that they are there for each other, knowing that they can joke and play with each other, it's really what's worth it, it's not just a job, it's family ✨

I'm so happy we finally had new episodes and got to see all our Ohana together, I missed Lucy so much and seeing her with the boys and Kate, I don't know what I'll do when the season ends :(

That's all for today, remember that my question box is always open and my private chat always available, thanks for reading me and don't forget to leave a comment in the tags, I love you 💖

2/2 episodio 19