#I thought we agreed it isn't
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I have now three times seen someone on my dash reblog a statement to the tune of "oh of course this terrible person did something terrible; they're the Bad Ethnicity that's inherently backwards and evil" after having previously asserted that judging entire ethnicities based on the shitty actions of shitty individuals is wrong no matter what, no exceptions, period, because doing that is inherently a shitty thing to do to an entire ethnic group.
Unless if they're Irish, apparently. Then the thing that's never okay because it's inherently shitty and cruel is suddenly okay. Because Irish.
#yeah#start a fight with me on this get blocked#it's not a problem I'm okay with derailing other posts about which is why I haven't done so#but I. Is it okay to do this to ethnic groups or isn't it?#I thought we agreed it isn't#and three times pales in comparison to the scapegoating bullshit other people in other groups are getting right now#but it's still frustrating to be part of the ethnic group it's ok to scapegoat even if you think it's wrong to scapegoat based on ethnicity#can we just maybe try not to do this to each other. please.#hurting people because you think their ethnic group is uniquely immoral is actually a shitty thing to do to anyone ever!#I just want consistency in the notion that it's bad to demonize entire ethnic groups. why can't we do this. why is it so hard.#call out shitty people's shitty actions! By all fucking means!#but please stop trying to find the one bad ethnic group you can demonize and hate based on their ethnicity#hate shitty mean antisemites because they're shitty mean and antisemitic not bc they're indigenous to ireland
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"Wait."
The Acolyte (2024) by Leslye Headland
#acolyteedit#swedit#starwarsedit#the acolyte#star wars#osha aniseya#qimir#qimir the stranger#osha x qimir#oshamir#amandla stenberg#manny jacinto#tv#gif#*#q#hands#usermonstress#repressionrepresentation#knifeposting#down so bad i'm using this sacred tag and making big square gifs...#anyways isn't it funny that this is the last thing we hear them say to each other#and isn't it crazy that this is technically sol's lightsaber which SHE won which SHE turned red#the lightsaber that already would have killed him nearly TWICE had she and her sister not saved him#the lightsaber that destroyed his very own weapon#which he takes off her for his safety then oh so graciously gives back to her once she agrees to stay#and then he later places his hand over it like this is something they both achieved lol qimir bro you are not in controllll#whatever it's whatever did everyone enjoy the thumb caress? I thought the thumb caress was LOVELY
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The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people
Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer
But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.
No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.
But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck
So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???
But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery
Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus
What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV
Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)
But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.
But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy
So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)
Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic
-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?
Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???
(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)
I just.
There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.
And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one
#Moon posting#OP Meta#OP Spoilers#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Haunted by thoughts of one (1) evil middle aged man#IDK I was rereading Punk Hazard today while on the train and just. God there's like no difference between Alabasta Croc and Ceasar#I mean there is but no there isn't. Dude was doing essentially the same shit just this time with much more child abuse#And we all agree that Ceasar is scum of the earth and irredeemable.#But also he was doing everything PURELY out of self-interest without ANY sad backstory to counter balance it#I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE MAN I AM LOSING MY MARBLES#Kuma Flashback I Love You but I need to know what the fuck is happening with Crocodile so bad pleeeaaase#There's also like that note about Kuma saying he'd be wiling to make a deal with the devil just to protect his daughter#And If Crocodad Real. What a greater evolution of that but being wiling to BECOME the devil himself to protect your child#Also sorry about the Buggy slander but also not sorry. All that man is good for is being a punching bag for comedy as far as I'm concerned#He's very funny I'll give you that. And I'm looking forward to him and Shanks getting married
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#souyo#the fact that whether the player agrees or disagrees with her is irrelevant to yu's perception of his relationship with yosuke#in that it is strong#in that they get along#in that yeah yu essentially says thats right we DO get along well#i guess there isn't really a right or wrong answer but the second option rings a lot truer to me#thinking again about yosuke's “you were transferring from the city so i thought we would get along”#except yosuke's arc eventually being about “it's not where you're from or where you are it's who you're with”#yosuke also thinking that they were going to have a largely superficial friendship at first except it's upended later#but i also love that yu could establish that depth and his attachment/connection to yosuke as early as MAY#this is ONE MONTH after yu pulls yosuke out of the trashcan#day 2198427 of me yelling about how important yosuke is to yu even if yosuke doesn't see it IT'S SO OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE#he's good with his queue
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just putting this out there but if you believe we should consider someone a woman if they were socialized female, will this also apply to the male children who are transitioned as toddlers?
#because i'm seeing this argument a lot now in regards to dsds that aren't discovered until puberty or adulthood#at which point aren't we agreeing with transactivists that woman is a social category?#a woman is anyone who is socialized female#a woman is anyone who is treated as a woman socially#then why not transwomen?#and this isn't to argue one way or another about individuals thought to have dsds being male or female#i don't want to make that judgment#i'm just bringing up what is in my opinion the obvious conclusion of this specific argument i'm seeing#in which case what are we doing here? if woman is a gender after all?
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Idk like Max but when he said don't broadcast the radios he was so right. Most radios aren't even live, just don't broadcast them. No need to be out there policing people like that. It is almost a human rights violation to not let a guy say fuck after he was fucked
OK ACTUALLY THIS IS VERY INTERESTING TO ME. Like, ofc Max was right that if you're so bothered about :// bad words :( on radio you could simply not broadcast the radio.
But more broadly, it got me thinking about the whole live broadcast side of F1 because it's just so interesting to me how those are put together. There's almost a reality show-esque vibe in the way F1 feed directors pick and choose which radios to air on tv when you think about it! Choosing which messages to show on broadcast + onboard views vs camera track view vs garage angles... it all ties into the whole showmanship side of F1 and is part of building a track narrative and it's cool as hell. I'm always impressed by the amount of behind-the-scenes work that goes into the whole spectacle of F1 — imagine constantly monitoring 20 different feeds and having to make split-second decisions on what makes for the most entertainment.
Sorry I went off on a wild tangent! It's just very interesting to me how F1 drivers really have to feel like they work in a fishblown sometimes, because the access cameras and the world at large have to the F1 paddock is kinda unparalleled compared to other professional athletes. But I also get why that happens, because F1 (a very expensive sport) wouldn't be nearly as remunerative or appealing without that constant coverage side It's such a circus and it's so compelling. But ofc you can't "sell" your audience on the whole unfiltered F1 experience and simultaneously get angry over a stray fuck that's gonna get bleeped out anyway.
tldr: he's right but then I had to go wildly off topic about it
#sorry i went completely off topic here. anyway I agree with Max ofc but also I understand why everything is broadcast & spotlighted#but also if you want everything to be broadcast and spotlighted. the fucks are kinda baked in#every athlete i can think of has cursed on the job lmao#anyway typing this reminded me of when in barcelona we heard carlos complain for like 10 laps#EYE thought his bitching was funny as hell but i remember people going why is HE always complaining??#and I was like. do you understand that he's not the only guy complaining rn just the one who's getting main airtime?#i wonder how many people watching at home realise that there are so many public radios that just aren't picked up by the main broadcast#<- this isn't to imply carlos isn't a bitch on radio he is SOOOO whiny. but he's not the only one u know?#elle asks
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me when tumblr recommends me someone defending dr3 in the tags and i read through the entire thing and get mad bc they don't understand what brainwashing really is.
#'brainwashing has been a staple of the series for a long time' they say (mostly talking about mind control)#mind control in the fictional sense not the real world sense btw#magical/technological means of instantly controlling ones thoughts#the video in dr0? yeah. brainwashing. they were watching it ON FUCKING LOOP over and over to the point of desensitizing themselves#they were already vulnerable to start with as well. it was fucking conditioning them. not controlling them directly – brainwashing them#the monokuma kids? DIRECT MIND CONTROL#THEY ARE WEARING FUCKING HELMETS ON THEIR HEADS AND HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEMSELVES OR THEIR AUTONOMY#THAT IS NOT BRAINWASHING!! THAT IS FUCKING!! PUPPETEERING THEM#they brought up smthn in the togami book. never read that but apparently there's a book that spreads despair disease#(info gotten from unreliable source in the book)#tbh it's probably propaganda to help despair spread better#it doesn't have to be fucking literal#also despair disease... if it is anything like dr2... IS NOT BRAINWASHING#IT JUST FUCKIN TAKES OVER THEIR BODY/OVERRIDES THEIR PERSONALITY AUTOMATICALLY#IT'S A MIND ALTERING ILLNESS???#NOT!! BRAINWASHING!!#and then of course saying brainwashing in dr3 is the natural conclusion and that it doesn't retcon anything#AND I AGREE BRAINWASHING IS THE NATURAL CONCLUSION. BUT DR3 DIDN'T DO THAT#it just fucking... made them flip a switch out of nowhere?#MIKAN SAID SHE BECAME THE WAY SHE DID DUE TO HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS#NOT BC SHE WATCHED SILLY DESPAIR VIDEO#to use magic subliminal messaging to INSTANTLY change the way someone thinks isn't brainwashing in your typical sense. that's mind control#let's define brainwashing shall we?#a method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs#originated in totalitarian countries#especially through the use of torture— drugs— or psychological-stress techniques#or perhaps this one:#any method of controlled systematic indoctrination especially one based on repetition and confusion#REPEATED TORTURE. REPEATED WATCHING OF THINGS#**REPETITION IS KEY**
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Where's Guzman in all this? Why ain't he saying anything about buddie?
Because at this point on the show, Buck is the character that has come out as bisexual, and we don't technically know whether Eddie returns his feelings. Oliver is free to talk about the possibility of Buddie within the context of Buck's bisexuality and canon attraction to men.
Interviews are used for multiple purposes and one of them is to continue to build the narrative off-screen. Eddie hasn't yet officially entered the narrative because we technically don't know that he can be attracted to men. If (and maybe I'm just riding the validation high of Oliver's interviews, but I think it's more like when) we see on screen that Eddie possibly does have feelings for men - omg, anon, put on your seatbelt, because hurricane Ryan is gonna be slamming into town alongside Oliver!
#i'm not a fan of cheating storylines but i think this might be why we may get a kiss at the bachelor party#what may happen is they're very drunk and buck remembers it but eddie says he doesn't#and that's how they get around the cheating#additionally they've had Buck state that he isn't 100% sure of what he wants but he thinks it's Tommy#so he's been honest#anyway an accidental kiss frees up Ryan to start giving interviews about Eddie's side of things#because yes they need to get Ryan out there asap i agree but he can't do clear interviews on the topic#until Eddie's attraction to Buck is canon#because otherwise straight people with no imagination will read the interview and say i thought he was straight#and won't get further than that#ryan guzman#buddie#oliver stark#nice anon asks - thanks!!
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I need to do a rb/addition to that roman slavery post I made bc the notes keep missing the point I was trying to make & it's really annoying me but also I'm to tired to phrase it well
#i very much agree that household slavery was bad & that people diminish how appalling it was but what i was trying to say w that post is#that people tend to be aware of the household slavery but then will turn around & tell you it can't be compared to later e.g. american#slavery bc it isn't large scale plantation type slavery when like it was!!!!! they Did have these vast scale agricultural opperations worked#entirely by slaves!!!!! this was a major issue in the roman republic in fact !!#please please please read about the conditions & situation in sicily leading to the first & second servile wars#and this is not to mention the absolute horror that were the mines#but anyways predictably people have latched on to the household slavery thing & are exclusively talking about how that was bad#which is very very true but please can we also address the main point of my post#whatever. I'll articulate at good reblog/addition at some point#it's my fault for phrasing it badly tbf#thoughts
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Showing my roommate Alien for the first time
Him: This is sooo like Prometheus
Me: Wait you've seen Prometheus but not Alien????
Him: No, I just was trying to think of something dumb to say that would annoy you lol
Me: OK GOOD cause as I said before, no judgment from me for not having seen Alien, but if you'd seen Prometheus but not Alien, then we might have a problem
*15 minutes later*
Him: Wow ok that ship does kinda look like the stuff in the Prometheus trailer though
Me: I mean yeah that makes sense
Him: Wait Prometheus is part of the Alien series?
Me: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW
#as with almost every perfect movie I've shown my roommate#his reaction was a really noncommittal “that was a fun time”#Like not a negative reaction#but not by any stretch of the imagination an enthusiastic one#He and another friend of mine are both people I show a lot of movies to#and I LIKE to think I base those movies off of the sorts of things I know they like#and they are usually movies most people agree are very very good#and I am repeatedly met with lukewarm reactions that make me think#“WHAT DO YOU LIKE IF NOT THIS? IF YOU LIKE THIS GENRE HOW DO YOU NOT LIKE THIS???”#admittedly I wasn't sure Alien specifically was gonna be 100% his type of thing#but when Alien came up in conversation the other day he got SO apologetic that he hadn't seen it#which he does any time any piece of media that's extremely famous that he hasn't seen is mentioned#and he was like I KNOW I should see it#and I was like I'd watch it any time#but I also tried to tell him like 30 times that if it isn't a movie he wanted to see#or actually thought he would like#then we shouldn't watch it#the problem is any time someone mentions anything they like#or extend any sort of offer to show him something they like#it seems to be a matter of principal to him that he MUST consume the recommended media#regardless of whether it's his thing#alien 1979#Alien#Prometheus
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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Also @ my it takes Sharena to break free from the "Gustav was a good man/Father" Askr family unreliable narrator hivemind. That the Main Reason she can't/doesn't is because it's the One Thing that's protecting her. That's stopping her from having a catastrophic world/life fucking breakdown about it. Heavily influenced by her brother and mother's feelings about it.
There's something else, I think Sharena is specifically protecting herself from too. She was Triandra's sister, too.
#feh#IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO TRIANDRA. FOR ME. FOR SOME REASON.#ALSO. ALSO. when it comes to 'comparing' what 'is/isn't' abuse. something logically ik you can't/shouldn't do#but like. tri/peony's father's ye olde fairytale villain levels of abuse vs gustav's abuse. which is.#so so. like. like i feel like i could meet someone and they could tell me yeah my dad was [insert every gustav trait here]#like. that's not to say the level of abuse tri/peony endured is impossible or realistic. like. it's just a rarer more horrifying case#that reads like an evil stepparent story ala cinderella.#like sliding scale/ends of a spectrum we have gustav (bad dad you can find anywhere dime a dozen)#to triandra's dad (cinderella stepmom levels of abuse but not entirely out of the realm of reality unfortunately just a rare case)#to sombron (literally actual cartoon levels of evil. which also isn't to dismiss anything but like.#he had a bunch of kids and then forced them to kill each other. and then did whatever he did to veyle. who was Lucky#she was too young to participate in the sibling battle royale to the death brawl.)#idk idk. it's like#back when i used to exist i had friends/peers who would talk about their family situations and#it was like. a frame of reference. that's horrible and outright abusive and i'm so sorry you have to go through that.#meanwhile. my own situation. i always describe it as 'stupid and complicated'.#idk idk. i just think sharena's feelings about gustav are more Loadbearing. than anything else.#and she's also like. she loves her brother so much. looks up to him and is inclined to trust/agree w whatever he says#like sharena obvs still has her own feelings/thoughts. but like. alfonse is also just so important to her.#and then there's henriette. who sharena does actively strive to be like. ect ect#idk idk. this is something other than breadcrumbs intsys gives me moldy bread cuts off the mold and tells me#it's safe to eat and that the mold was never there actually. but i remember. i remember the mold.#sharena#fe triandra
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The more time goes on, the more I think we (= westerners, especially white westerners) are just so fucking bad at guilt. I feel like guilt is among the most pernicious and dangerous emotions out there --not because guilt is literally deadly in isolation, it is an excruciating emotion but it will not kill you in itself, but because we have been trained to associate guilt with worthlessness (I partially blame christian values, the idea of impurity and sin --not to downplay, of course, the danger of a community judging you or being expelled from that community on the basis of being considered a danger to its other members due to the thing you've done that has been generating this guilt), and so we must, absolutely must, protect ourselves from simply feeling that guilt and processing its cold indifference washing over us, and we must do so through any means necessary. This can involve defensiveness, denial or reject of that guilt altogether so we are mentally protected from having to reevaluate ourselves and our place in the world, or can involve wallowing in and using it to self-harm --focusing on the pain and on self-hate rather than on what the guilt is telling us about ourselves and our heritage; blinding ourselves to it still in a twisted way.
I think it's also complicated to know how to manage guilt in a world where we're generally (as a whole) deeply powerless. It feels unfair to be called out about not doing enough when you know that pulling even mediocre heroics on your own will most definitively do almost nothing, hurt you, and be buried in a way that might be extremely unhelpul --not to mention, that it would actually hurt you in a very real and final way and lead to entirely thankless results, even if it was the morally correct thing to do. I do not want to pretend that it's not, very often, the results that awaits even serious and well-practiced activism --or even mild activism, major shoutout to everybody who got maimed or arrested or even killed on zero basis simply because they happened to be at or even near a protest, when they were not brutally attacked for no reason even outside of activism because an officer was racist or sexist or queerphobic or simply bored that day. There are genuinely good reasons to be scared.
So we feel guilt because of this fear, because of our isolation from any serious movement and the fact that we privilege our comfort over letting action taking over whatever else we have going on, and because fear and comfort knowingly keep us into inaction --or action that doesn't feel like enough, or that we feel doesn't achieve much of anything (which I think is never true: even giving someone a glimpse of hope for a second because we made an effort towards them is always always worth it in my opinion, it's not nothing and it's not a cop-out --of course it's not enough and we collectively need to find ways to do more, but it's not nothing and it should never discourage people from taking action --but I digress). But I think we start making a mistake when we point at this very real powerlessness as a shield from the guilt. Both can coexist. Both have to coexist. It isn't fair that some people are being forced to be courageous when we can afford to remain cowards. It is not even a moral judgement that condemn our souls forever, weakness is human and lack of individual reach against an overwhelmingly powerful and removed system even more so; it is a simple fact that we *have* to acknowledge if we want to take a clear look at the actual situation instead of camouflaging it behind self-justifying walls to give ourselves temporarily relief from that awful feeling. And I'm not saying it's not a constant effort, to keep those instincts of self-preservation at bay, or that some people don't have really good reasons that they cannot act more than through social media or miniscule donations or by talking about it around them, or being powerless to even do that without putting themselves into real and concrete danger --or that letting guilt in will be pleasant or even healing. It won't be. But it's also not the point.
Yeah, I get that it's hard to truly reckon with the fact that almost everything that made us (= westerners, especially white ones) is soaked with blood, imperialism, white supremacy, sexism, queerphobia, and a whole sweve of truly rancid ideologies that we cannot afford to passively accept as our lot. We were not given a choice in that legacy, and we don't have a ton of leverage over reorienting our haunted civilizations into something that isn't a horrible nightmare; but it is a fight that is happening right the fuck now.
I genuinely think guilt is a feeling we are not taught to handle in a healthy way; and because we have essentialist, pseudo-religious and punitive justice concepts terminally untangled with that feeling, guilt governs our politics and our private lives in the most rabid and unchecked way imaginable. But guilt will not kill us, unless we allow it to, and it will help literally nobody if it does. Guilt isn't evil in its soul-crushing pain as much as it is informative. Guilt is unbearable, unfliching clarity. But fever boils us alive because there is an infection that needs to be destroyed.
#thoughts#personal#not zelda#palestine#free palestine#guilt#cw self harm#(not graphic and really in passing)#sorry it's quite different than usual and it's a lot and I don't know if I'll agree with everything in five seconds#but I feel like we don't talk enough about the impact of guilt on our lives and psyches (and politics)#I am not great at guilt either (tho tbh I don't know many people who are)#but I'm trying to get better at simply... shutting up and Feeling It#I'm sure there's a way to face guilt that isn't destructive or self-pitying or generally useless#but I am.... I am so pessimistic about the future#not in a: let's all give up and cry but in a: we must fucking brace ourselves and look after one another#and put our foot in the sand right now because everything is unnacceptable and we need to acknowledge it much harder#if we let it fester it will only get uglier and uglier#and it doesn't mean we won't win or that hope isn't an absolutely essential component to it all#I am ultimately optimistic that there is an After to capitalism and imperialism and that brand of self-centered preservation and brutality#and this general oozing of toxic and unprocessed guilt#But#let's say that we'll all have to lead our own fights against it at some point#and I think that time should be right now#tl;dr imo there's no hope for justice and genuine resistance without facing guilt and resisting the urge to deny or fret against its ache#which doesn't have to equate with allowing guilt to rule us and use it as a tool of self-torment#anywayyyyy#saw a LOT of very weird reactions to the gaza genocide in my personal circles#some that really disappointed me even though they came from people I know to be better than this#so#yeah
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Meeting with a rabbi within the next couple weeks !!!!!!!!!!!!!
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#they have a rabbinic conference to attend before we meet but !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm feeling very positive about this - they included their own background because i opened up about mine and#their mom is a convert from catholicism which... is it just me or are a lot of jewish converts converted from catholicism??#which is weird because in america catholics are a minority based on numbers (20% of americans)#(which is still a lot but that still leaves 80% of americans)#okay but catholicism is actually intriguing on an intellectual level (mostly because i agree with very little of it)#especially the thing about saints. that one always bothered me#i thought feast days were... contemporary feasts with all kinds of food. i'm disappointed that it apparently isn't
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Dieses ständige alles was mit Kultur zu tun hat = rechts = nazi hat mich definitiv nicht negativ beeinflusst!
#ok but literally#''hate how big of an influence the US has'' vs my brain immediately being like ''what are you? a nationalist? I thought we are in favour-#of cultures mixing?'' is.... definitely fun... o(-( idk idk#sometimes I just want to hit my brain#rains rants#english nonsense#this is a post I wish I could do in a language no one here speaks#this is like the ignore that I'm posting this UNLESS you also have that experience then please talk with me :3#I always think that I probably just had a lot of influence from... questionable places but then everyone agrees and I think 'huh'#like maybe this isn't as me specific as I think it is#I should stop talking k
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the amount of DISDAIN I get from some ppl saying that blue flag is written for the straights.
girl I did not stay up til 6am reading this manga, tearing up and crying bc of how much I saw myself in characters like touma and masumi and how painfully relatable their pain/struggles were just for you to say that blue flag is for the straights
be so fr rn
#the usage of queer pain in blue flag was done so so SO fucking tastefully and with care towards ppl who experience similar struggles#there were so many very well done nuanced discussions not only relating to queerness but also towards other topics such as heteronormativit#and societal standards and choices and change#hell I even thought that the whole discussion on homophobia towards the end was done with care- there I said it#bc it isn't just like: HOMOPHOBIC PPL BAD!!#there's layers and different sides shown that some ppl may not agree with but Jesus Christ ITS PART OF THE FUCKING DISCUSSION#yall NEED to hear these other sides and stop closing your eyes to everything that isn't just like- homophobia bad >:(#bc god forbid we have nuanced talks about touchy subjects#sorry I'm just so annoyed that this is a fandom-wide agreement that the homophobia talk was handled badly#bc imo I don't think it was it was just trying to shine the topic in a different light#anyways this manga is brilliant and amazing and I need more ppl to read this#I'm even hoping for an anime adaptation idc if itll most likely be mediocre I just need more ppl to find this story#this manga resonated with me on such a deeply personal level as a queer person that I didn't even know was possible#'blue flag utilizes queer pain as a tool for the straights-' stfu speak for your fucking self#this manga wasn't written for the straights it was written for ME actually#blue flag
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