#I think we should take the word queerbait away from a lot of kids these days but thats a post for another time lol

[youngpettyqueen]

being in the MASH fandom on Tumblr has reminded me that sometimes fandom experiences aren't the worst thing on the planet

[justanapparatus]

okay i just finished the kaylor essay and first of all it is very well written and researched so kudos and i really liked it overall, i really liked you pointing out the double standards in how ppl treat gay ships vs straight ships, you’re 100% right on that. i thought the part about the privatization of sexuality and all that kind of leading to people assuming everyone is cishet was very interesting and i think i agree with that. RPF usually makes me think Real Person Fanfiction which quite honestly i don’t know how i feel about that. i liked you talking about how it’s easy to interpret queer themes in her work bc it really is. and this is going to sound silly for someone who would read a kaylor essay, but i don’t know how i feel about RPF. and what i mean by that is it’s one thing to think like how i do and see how taylor and karlie were and be like well something fruity happened there and it’s another thing to insist and to like push it on people and harass the people who it’s about i guess? for example all the talk about everything clearly bothered taylor, or for example stuff with dan and phil bothered them and then it turned out to be true. like yeah it was true but people went too far and really hounded them about it. and i think it crosses a line once it gets into obsessive territory. like that poor kid from heartstopper the internet forced to come out. that was fucked up. i guess i feel like it crosses a line when you feel like it’s Obviously True and you Need Proof that Everyone Has to See you know what i mean??? i hope that makes sense😭

hi sorry for the delayed response the inside of my brain is weird!!

Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I feel pretty similarly about RPF that you do - obviously I'm invested in kaylor/gaylor or I wouldn't be doing this, but I feel very conflicted about it. The more I reflect on my previous fandom experiences and the more I engage with this fandom, I find that a lot of us see what we are doing as slightly separate from Taylor - it's harmless because it's not about her, it's about us telling stories about her work and saying there might be something there behind the scenes. But I also have been finding it harder and harder to see the lines between harmless speculation and conspiratorial behavior, between defending yourself against legitimate homophobia and using that as an excuse to defend your own bad behavior.

My relationship with this is fraught, but I also know that RPF isn't going away, probably ever. The term RPF has been traced to shipping between actors in the original Star Trek series, which was one of the first fandoms in the contemporary sense, indicating to me that some level of RPF is inevitable in fandoms where that type of thing is possible. I think RPF is kind of a natural extension of the kind of celebrity gossip we see all the time in the media, so by that logic if celebrity gossip is dehumanizing, then RPF must be by extension. And the harmful effects of this are obvious - you've named a few, Becky Albertalli being forced to come out after being harassed over supposed queerbaiting, Shawn Mendez and Louis Tomlinson tweeting against gay rumors, and of course, Taylor. She has time and time again said that she is tired of people speculating about her relationships, both queer and straight rumors. In light of this, I have been trying to engage with Gaylorism in a different capacity, taking a step back from the fandom a bit and thinking about it through multiple lenses. My weird complicated feelings about this are precisely why I'm doing this project.

Hand in hand with that is the double standard that I mentioned in the essay. If RPF is unethical, it's not necessarily unethical because it's gay, it's unethical because it's treating real people like Barbie dolls, meaning that the vitriol directed toward Gaylors should be applied equally to people obsessed with Taylor and Joe's relationship (or any of her other relationships with men), but it isn't. As far as I can tell, this double standard exists throughout slash fiction circles, not just RPF. Turns out, people are just homophobic. There's also a lot of homophobia coming from inside the house so to speak. Don't get me started on Gold-Star Kaylorism or how they talk about gay men or we will be here all day. I think that the homophobia directed at Gaylors as well as the homophobia expressed by Gaylors (god knows theres plenty of both) affects all gay swifties and arguably all swifties, and when we try to stratify ourselves into "good fans" and "bad fans" based on how we engage with celebrity gossip, it does more harm than good.

I do think a lot of Gaylorism is an attempt to queer Taylor's work independently from her sexuality, and I actually think that is a practice that should be celebrated. In fact, I found an academic study that suggested that engaging in queer readings of folklore was beneficial to both personal sexual identity development and supporting sexual fluidity. This is interesting to me because I find this fandom to be rampant with both beautiful bisexuals and disgusting biphobes. That said, while queering artwork is a transgressive act, that doesn't mean RPF is also transgressive - it is more often than not the opposite. And with an artist like Taylor whose work is deeply confessional but also employs fantasy and folklore throughout her career, it's hard to draw the line between art and life. I can say I support death of the author re: taylor all I want, but I also feel murderous rage toward John Mayer every time I listen to Would've Could've Should've, so as much as I can ask people to stop assuming my interpretations are meant to be speculative when they're more literary, I can't exactly blame them for taking it otherwise.

A lot of my goal with this project is to take a step back from Gaylor and also Swiftieism in general, because I find myself feeling suffocated by the fandom at times. I love my friends I've found here and I love Taylor and I will probably always look at her work through a queer lens, but the homophobia, biphobia, and misogyny I see from everyone, the antisemitism and conspiracies from gaylors, plus the general ethical concerns surrounding celebrity and fandom, have led me to want to think about these things in a different light. I am mainly doing this for me, to help me understand my own complicated relationship with Taylor and her fandom, but I'm glad other folks like it and I hope it helps y'all unpack these weird complicated ideas too.

[ladywhistleupp]

You have put a lot of words in my mouth and made several assumptions. She wants biological kids which can’t happen in that time period with wlw relationships because IVF and surrogacy don’t exist yet. It would be like adding someone who was going through gender reassignment surgery, something that just didn’t exist and wasn’t possible during this time. Also it does take away representation by erasing the majority ofher story.

It also seems you just wanted to argue with me by your language instead of having a discussion which could have occurred in private. Many LGBTQ+ have agreed that they deserve their own representation not just a erasure of an important story. It also seems like one of your paragraphs seemed to wanna play the “well they made characters black so why can’t they be gay?” which is pitting two marginalized groups against each other. Yeah you may not have said it directly but one can read between the lines based on your wording and repeated use of “diversity”. As a black and arab woman who keeps seeing this argument it’s quite disappointing to hear it from a member of another marginalized group. Also race doesn’t change the ability for one to have biological children with their partner (something that unfortunately two women can’t do without IVF or surrogacy as previously stated).

Marina’s story is not at all the same because she had her children whereas Francesca lost hers and only rejoined the marriage mart to have biological kids which as stated earlier can’t happen with a woman. I have never seen women with infertility issues be represented in media or in Bridgerton but I have seen bisexual and gay relationships represented (Brimsley and Reynolds, Benedict discovering he may like men too). My mother lost my brother soon after his birth and I know she probably would have loved to see the original story because she’s never seen any close representation.

It’s also ridiculous for you to assume what I meant by Eloise being a better choice for a bi or lesbian relationship by claiming I think that because she’s outspoken…. if you met people who actually knew me you’d know I’m outspoken….doesn’t make one a lesbian so why would I ever assume such? If we’re watching the same show as I assume we are you’d know Eloise has never shown any interest in any men so it could make sense for her to end up falling for another woman.

Netflix has also been known to queerbait and add LGBTQ+ characters for a cash grab. This is something I’ve heard from a lot of members of the LGBTQ+ community and it’s been easy to tell. Netflix is a corporation that hasn’t even cared about the actors they hire (the actress who played Marina Thompson had two mental breakdowns during and after season 1 and Netflix provided her with absolutely no support).

Now I think it best to end this argument here because I don’t see us seeing eye to eye on this matter especially when things that were never said are being assumed. For someone saying at the beginning that they weren’t trying to accuse me before going on to do just that I think you should see things from the point of view of women who have miscarried. I don’t know if you’ve read Francesca’s book, but if not I think you should. I’d rather you not reblog this with another argument and instead message me with anything else you would like to add because I don’t know about you but I don’t come to tumblr to argue. There have been others who probably disagreed (and they have every right too) that just scrolled past instead of trying to paint me as a bad person while claiming they weren’t doing exactly that. I hope LGBTQ+ people get representation but I also believe this was a great chance at representation for women who resonate with Francesca’s story that haven’t read the books.

[contains Bridgerton book series spoilers]

I’m going to try to be careful with my words because my intentions are never to upset anyone especially members of a fellow marginalized community that I personally don’t belong too. I am disappointed in the rewriting of Francesca’s story. A big part of her book is her deep love for John Sterling and struggle with infertility. She loved John more than anything and when he died she mourned for yearsss and only rejoined the marriage market because she desperately wanted kids of her own after losing their child. I understand queer representation is important to those in the LGBTQ+ community, but there are many books about LGBTQ+ love that Netflix could adapt into a show or movie. Heartstopper is an example of one they’ve adapted and I’ve seen so many people who love and resonate with that show. Or an alternative would be to make Eloise lesbian/bi because it would make more sense. There’s very little representation in media for women who struggle with infertility and I’ve heard from many women whose favorite book was Francesca’s because of how they related to her struggle. Not only that, but they made her immediately develop a crush on Michaela when in the books it’s Michael who immediately falls for Francesca upon meeting her and he struggles with those feelings when before and especially after John dies. To make Francesca have feelings for Michaela completely diminishes her love for John that makes her mourning so strong. Michael also has a big internal conflict with inheriting the Kilmartin estate after John’s death. This also takes representation from women who have lost their husbands while pregnant with their child(ren). Majority of the people I know who are upset about it aren’t upset because of Francesca’s sexuality but because of how it throws away her whole story. One of my best friends is a black woman who is bi and has read all the books and before I even finished part 2 she was texting me upset because she herself has had a miscarriage and loved Francesca’s story.

[whenthedoctorwashim]

useless duffers

okay i've read so many posts similar to this but i guess i kinda need to get it out as well.

first of all at this time of consumerism of tv shows and movies, representation became much much more important compared to earlier decades. we need diversity and i dont care the aspects of it just diversity. race, political opinion, sexuality, religion i just dont care we need every single of that and we've been craving for it for such a long time. we DESERVE it. especially from the queerbaiting perspective we just deserve it.

and i'm sick of having to talk about this in 2022. this is fucking embarrasing for humanity.

okay let me just get back to st point of it.

im just leaving will to the end because god thats gonna take time.

everyone in st has some deeply heavy trauma but lets just focus on max's just for the sake of my rambling and vol 1 aspect of it. max had clearly depression. she lost a family member she is just pushing herself away from everyone who cares about her etc. the scene where max was captured by vecna i just immediately thought "yeah i mean she cant die that would just be trash and duffers wouldn't do that you have to show some strength you have to show a meaningful scene where she needs to rescue herself i mean this is the point of the show, outcasts survive, LIVE, they realize their worth and they have each other" and then she was finally able to run away from her *demons*/vecna/ and came to realization that her life is worth something was so impactful. I fell in love with the scene because thats all we could ask for. We can overcome our mental issues. We just need strenght, love and support system. What is the point of the storytelling if you build up your characters' background in such a rich way but then just throw it in trash by killing them in such a weak fearful way??

yeaahh about that.

MY BOY WILL.

oh my god will. he is a gay boy in 80s. he is getting bullied by his father and classmates because of it. he is in love with his straight best friend. their group is getting bullied for being *nerds* as well. he is basically the representative for hundreds of gay kids in 80s. a lot of people saw themselves in will. they get bullied, they get attacked, they get called as an outcast just like will.

so from the point of storytelling; what is the impactful, meaningful and honestly the RIGHT direction for will? Well thats fucking easy. He needs to find happiness and love he deserves. He need to realise that he is NOT a mistake or burden for those around him. He needs to be appreciated and get the support system he needs.

My boy got fucking dragged down to the upside down. he got back and everything changed. the boy who he is in love with changed, their dnd group changed. He was just trying to cling onto something that made him happy and their friends didnt even see that. then as time progresses he just became more and more like a silent forgotten character in the group??? he moved away from the only place he knows as home and then his best friend didnt even try to stay in contact with him??? but will is still in love with him?? but he still thinks he is the mistake?? he is wrong for being like this?? and his friends dont even care about him?? they forget his fucking birthday??? actually noone cared about his fucking birthday?? he just fucking cried his eyes out in the car with his best friend sitting next to him and noone noticed??? he cant even find the words to tell his brother how he feels and somehow we should be okay??? he just watched his best friend saying the day he disappeared was the day he was born and somehow that should be romantic from another point of view???

im so fucking angry im just gonna stop.

will could be so beautiful. will's arc could be soooo meaningful. he had all the powerful elements. he was the hero he was the HEART of the group. i dont care what anyone says. he was the survivor and he was wise one with a lost voice.

as much as i love byler i didnt need to have it. i just needed will to be in peace with himself and find some resolution. i needed him to be free of his demons. i needed his running max scene. he deserves it so fucking much.

but instead we get blinded, on the verge of death max and crying his eyes out, trying to save a weird meaningless straight relationship will.

thanks duffers. fuck you.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

THANK YOU for saying all of that about the sk8 fandom. I think it's mainly because it's a young fandom with a lot of young people, but yeah, they have zero chill. It gets kinda annoying when you actually stop and think about the show and realize that a lot of things are just,,, not the way they think they are/should be

Also, I have compared some Reki and Langa scenes to rinharu scenes, but it's mostly because I see them and think "nice reference Utsumi" because they remind me of them so much, but to say RL are in the same level as them, or any other couple they've compared then to is kind of a stretch. Reki and Langa are, at best, a very very tame version of any of those, and while is see why they would focus a lot more on the puppy love thing they have it really pales in comparison (although they don't really compare it to free! because they're so hellbent in calling it queerbait as though half of the scenes they claim are so romantic did not also happen in there before, because they really don't understand how romantic coding works in anime).

Anyway, your blog is amazing :)) You always come off as a very smart person who is also just so done with people's stupidity and I'm 100% here for that haha

Haha no problem, needed to get it out of my system anyways. It’s true, but also once again being young shouldn’t always mean you’re that stupid, let’s be real here. And if you are that stupid, they need to know about it at least, so next time they’ll maybe think twice before saying stuff they say.

Their main problem these days is their herd feeling, it’s like one says smth stupid, others, having no brain of their own, repeat it and here’s what we have at the end. A whole field of a damn cicadas meaninglessly shrilling. 

It would be much more entertaining if they’d have enough brains to at least not put sticks in their own wheels, but they sadly don’t, so taking them down isn’t even satisfying. Not to mention the fact that you don’t even have to do anything, sooner or later they’ll embarrass themselves, cause the combination like “a sense of self-importance we have, but real life experience and brains we don’t have” leads to a disaster. Tiktok won’t help you with everything and half of them don’t even know what they’re talking about in most cases, they only love throwing loud words trying to scare easily impressionable ppl these days, cause everyone is like “I don’t wanna be cancelled so I won’t say anything” lol.

They just do not get that when you start smth like this, same as with a good lies, you gotta be smart. Like ok, they don’t distinguish real life from fiction, fine, but they can’t even check the age of the characters of their other ships before yelling “pedo” about others, so idk what to say here really. I just truly feel bad sometimes about even saying smth, bc like maybe just let them be, imagine the embarrassment of being this stupid? Who even puts them in charge of other ppl’s money idk. 

Yeah, I understand I compared the scenes, too, it’s inevitable, cause they’re all there haha. I was like “our” and thats also “ours” lmao. What I do not get is why would you compare them as if they have the same relationship depth (like high schoolers who have known each other for a month and a couple who knew each other for 7+ years and who planned their future together) or say that the reasonings behind the character’s behavior are same, when they’re entirely and I mean ENTIRELY different. It’s like not even anywhere near same. Like the comparartion of their break up with 13 year old Rin just hit me too hard, I was like.. let’s just not, not pls haha I’ll write a damn essay, but pls it hurts my soul seeing this. And comparing their fist bumb (ai, excuuuse me, eternity sign) to victuuri exchanging rings, I was just on the floor seriously. I just can’t handle the fandom of this pairing, it’s too weird for me. Logic left the chat on their tag and holy shit they’re blind to everything. I’m even glad I’m not into this pairing, cause I feel kinda sad for normal ppl who are into it, bc its like entering a kindergarden. Llike an absolute zero connection to reality, reading too much into things and all the chastity belts in one place, I was like... oh damn I’m too old for this shit and even if I was invested I’d probably still run away haha.

I’m really happy that you enjoy the blog! Thank you so much <3 Haha I have zero tolerance for stupidity, true. It’s such a bad quality tho, I sometimes suffer a lot just by seeing smth and be like “I can’t, I just have to say smth, I just have to, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep, it’s that stupid” lmao.

And sometimes part of me goes like “you know it’s pointless, it’s like talking to a tree”, but other part of me is like “no, it talks, and it means I can shut them up” lol. But I truly don’t get why ppl listen to this and indulge them seriously. Like I know stupid ppl prevail in this world in general, but like in fandoms they’re pretty easy to dethrone, if you bring up the right arguments. And I know in rare occasions, when you really cut them deep, they tend to attack in large groups like locusts, but it’s not like they can eat me through a computer screen, so idk. If I’ll get invested in that one ship after s12 I just might poke them a bit more out of spite lmao.

But also they are kids really, I mean, you can scroll through the tag and know for sure that like “yeah, that’s kid’s perspective”. Most of them didn’t even reach the age of the characters they’re watching things about, but like to pretend that they know stuff and most these days don’t have enough additional knowlenge to be smarter than their age, cause they are too busy well, tweeting about the stuff they know nothing about, so it’s kinda not really enjoyable to talk to them since I’d rather discuss it with someone who at least was in high school already and you know, not extra lol. 

I’m just kinda upset that it turns out to be a kids fandom, that’s all. Cause like chats and dms and sisters are great, but like I want the tag to look hella different, seriously. Bc I’m interested in characters and relationships complexity, not pink vomit. Well, you know the enjoyment of a great fandom. It’s a bliss. I have those thankfully haha.

[bronanlynch]

weekly (monthly?) media roundup

ok so I do want to actually do these on some sort of schedule but unfortunately, as you already know, brains,

listening: Malice in Wonderland by Fangbanger, which I found from a tumblr post that described them as band for “if you have a complicated relationship with gender, had a falling out with god, hate the government, or just think that vampires are neat" and y’know? yeah. my notes on this song from several weeks ago are that I might not know any of these people’s genders but I do know they’ve listened to MCR

reading: the new Cassandra Clare book, Chain of Iron. it’s boring and homophobic. in the first book of this series, we find out that the heroine’s brother is gay and in a relationship with a man who has no intention of ever coming out publicly because 1) the book is set in 1903 in England, it was literally illegal and 2) he’s trying to have a career in politics. the heroine decides that this means he’s ashamed of her brother and doesn’t deserve him, and she is present and active in their breakup conversation.

above is the relationship chart I made from the first book, it really hasn’t changed much except now the main guy and the main girl are married, the lesbians got back together and then broke up again, the main girl’s gay brother hooked up with one of her husband’s friend, who’s a Good Gay and therefore worthy of love unlike the Bad Gay ex who is constantly mocked by just about every character for. checks notes. caring about appearances and manners given that his life and career are based on those things. the brother and his new love interest break up because the brother still thinks he’s a bad person for ever having dated his ex. also the main girl has now platonically run off to Paris with her husband’s platonic soulmate who is allegedly in love with her but it’s really unconvincing that he’s not actually in love with her husband (he’s not for very stupid lore reasons, the whole ‘parabatai are magically prevented from being romantically in love, except for these two straight people, when historically parabatai pairs were two men’ makes my fucking blood boil)

you might ask why I still read these books even though they make me angry and the answer is the 1) the aesthetic slaps 2) some of the characters are fun 3) the premise has enough potential that it could be good if it was good 4) sometimes I need to get cathartically angry abt bad fiction bc it just. does not matter

watching: so many things that I’m gonna just. run through them real quick

Word of Honor: gestures vaguely at how it’s slowly taking over my blog

Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: love a found family, eh about the politics, can’t believe I predictably got a new fave character within the last two episodes of the show because one of the main characters is betrayed by his second-in-command and I think treason is the sexiest part of a relationship

SamBucky show: in the original draft of this post I said that it was so boring that week (episode 3) that I completely forgot about it until I saw the draft below this one talking about how bad and boring it is. at least more happened in later episodes and they’re finally giving me some tasty queerbaiting but the premise and the politics are. wow. it sure is military propaganda

My Hero Academia: new season is fun, love a tournament arc. don’t love that they tell us right away that the double agent character is a double agent, it was more fun in the manga when you’re not sure if he’s a traitor or not for a pretty long time

Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun: new season is cute, there sure is some gender happening. there’s a tsundere bisexual catgirl

Backflip!!: I usually avoid high school sports anime for backstory reasons but my roommate wanted to watch it with me and oh boy these gymnasts sure are gay for each other huh

Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood: my roommate pitched this to me as ‘cyberpunk but in the 1930s’ and there sure is dark lighting, lots of glowy neon stuff, and government oppression, which are the most important elements of cyberpunk apparently. not sure how I feel about it yet, because there’s a cool shapeshifting lady assassin with a revenge quest but there’s also a trans character who was revealed to be trans in a way that I personally did not enjoy. yes you can have transphobic villains but like. hmm. maybe the audience shouldn’t find out that someone is trans because the villain cuts his shirt away specifically to ~put him in his place. or maybe I personally am just sensitive to that but either way no thank you

on the other hand, the main character is sick as shit

The World Ends with You: god I love an anime about the power of friendship. I’ve only had these kids for two episodes and I would lay down my life for them

Nirvana in Fire: we’re only three episodes in and I did spend the first half of the first ep being like. oh god which of these people are actually important who am I supposed to care about here. and then by the end of the first ep I knew which ones I cared about and am now very afraid for their safety. do love the political intrigue though

playing: got through the first mission of Brigmore Witches. I love a good undercover mission, I wish I hadn’t been too afraid of like. alarms going off if I freed the other prisoners because I think Comrade Daud should do a jailbreak, and Lizzy Stride can call me anytime

also recently have played various ttrpgs including Firebrands, more Things, Eldritch and Terrifying, Link, and of course more Beam Saber (oh shit I meant to do my recap post for last session OOPS)

making: Zan and I made some real good chicken parm the other night, vaguely based on this recipe. by which I mean, we looked at the recipe to see how many eggs to use and how long to cook it and pretty much nothing else. the egg marinade step seemed unnecessary and I made the sauce the way I always make tomato sauce, which some day I should write down because it does in fact fuck. the secret is a shit-ton of oregano and basil and no chunks of tomato because fuck that. bad texture

Zan made the zucchini which also slapped, using some of the leftover bread crumbs

writing: I’ve posted a couple of things but most recently I wrote some rarepair femslash. this is the first fic for this ship on ao3 and the second ship in the f/f tag for this fandom that’s actually about the women in the show (as opposed to showing up in the f/f tag because it’s marked as “multi” or like. genderbent versions of the main m/m ship) but like. look at them. they’re terrible evil assassin women and they’re in love. anyway I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about having written a sex scene and moved on to wanting people to read my fic. there’s sparring as foreplay it’s a good time

[dalek-in-heels]

Hi hello, I have Feelings about some (not all!) of the ways I’ve seen bisexuality and polyamory discussed in Magicians fandom recently, mainly in the context of how queerness is represented in the show / speculating about what’s next. Queerness and polyam are two things that are near and dear to my own lived experiences, so I want to put my voice out there. This turned into a 2k word jumble, but as always I am open to discussion around any of it! My opinions/experiences, not law, I like hearing other viewpoints, etc etc. <3

tl;dr 1) I think it makes narrative sense why Quentin hasn’t explicitly confessed his love for Eliot to his friends yet.

2) I think it’s canon that Quentin and Eliot are each unique representations of people whose bisexuality/queerness/no-label-sexual-fluidity manifests in different ways.

3) I think it’s canon that there is polyamory in A Life in the Day.

—

First, I want to make clear that, after literally decades in fandoms that queerbait (or not even that), I feel passionately about the writers finally giving us more explicit queer love stories. Like, viscerally anxiously needing some emotional resolution for Queliot. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this invested in a ship before tbh.

That said, I won’t be mad about how Quentin & Eliot’s arc has been represented so far, as long as it does continue to develop going forward. Like, if it’s not explicitly addressed at all the rest of this season? That’s an issue. But if it’s only addressed again, like, tonight or even just in the finale, and leaves open the potential for more development in season five while Eliot is actually not possessed? I can see narrative reasons for why that works better.

In large part because of Quentin’s motivations this season. This is key: They are telling a story about a man who has been suppressing his feelings for the man he loves, who he thinks doesn’t love him back, and who is currently possessed by a monster. Quentin’s cautious. He’s depressed. He’s not going around making declarations, precisely because this is a very different love story than the ones we’ve seen between any of the other couples. Not only because they’re two men, but in large part because one of those men is possessed.

Don’t get me wrong (ha)—I am 100% in the camp of people who want Quentin to make some sort of confession despite all of this, and I definitely daydream about there being some sort of extra footage from their 50 years that we’ve never seen. But also? Story-wise? I get why it hasn’t happened yet: The more things that are out there in the open for the Monster to use against Quentin—and against Eliot’s body—the more damage can be done.

I think that’s one of the things that’s so powerful about that scene in 4x06, when the Monster asks, Why do you care about him so much? and Quentin simply says, Because I do. Yes, we know from Eliot’s memory that it’s because Quentin loves him, but like can you imagine Quentin admitting that to the Monster? What shit the Monster would pull with that knowledge?? It’d be horrible. Quentin knows better. He’s keeping details as close to the chest as possible for a damn reason.

—

Which brings me to Quentin’s bisexuality: I don’t think him not talking openly about his feelings for Eliot erases his bisexuality. Yes, arguably he could have a conversation with Julia or Alice or whomever about it, but what purpose would that serve? Him just feeling even worse admitting out loud that he’s trying to save the person he loves who doesn’t even love him back? Much easier to contain if you don’t say it out loud.

One of the things I’ve really loved about Quentin actually is that his bisexuality is a version that’s relatable to me on a personal level. Quentin is a queer man who has mostly dated women (as far as we can tell in canon). I’m a cis woman who has, largely due to circumstance, mostly dated men, despite coming out as bi 17 years ago. There were also long stretches of time where I didn’t date anyone. None of this has made me less queer/bisexual. My sexuality is an undeniable aspect of me, but also, I pass as straight. A lot. Which is frustrating because I never want to pass as straight in straight spaces or queer spaces, but it’s a super common experience for a lot of us. I’ve known so many women who pass, many of us because we date men, and therefore people don’t see our sexuality as valid since it’s ~ not in practice. It is a part of us; it doesn’t matter what we practice or not.

Quentin is bisexual—or whatever label we as fans want to put on it, but he is not straight. He has had queer experiences and expressed queer feelings. That is canon. Honestly, one of the reasons why I’m drawn to him as a queer character is because he hasn’t put a label on it in canon. They are telling the story of a character whose sexuality is not heterosexual, and it is not the most important thing about him. That is valid. That is the underrepresented experience of many of us, and it is satisfying to see someone represented on television who has experiences with people of different and similar genders, and that is not the core of the relationship conflict. He knows who he is. As Jason has put it before, it’s the one thing Quentin isn’t anxious about. I feel that.

But okay, back to trusting if the writers will represent Queliot or not going forward? I think it’s important to remember that this show has always been pretty fluid sexually, so the writers driving down this route with two of their male leads is, while new ground, not an absurd expectation. On a less queer show, I’d be less trusting of how they’ll handle it, but I feel like out of any writers I’ve loved, these might be the ones who get it on some level? Yes, there are still majority heteronormative things going on, but this is not the first queer relationship we’ve seen on the show: We’ve seen Eliot with randos, we’ve seen Eliot with Mike, with Idri—and with Quentin.

Which, while we’re on that—Eliot’s queerness? Should also not be erased. He is not gay. He is somewhere on a fluid queer spectrum. That’s literally canon, so any hand-waving away of that is erasing it. Sexuality is just so much more complex than that, and I think it’s simplistic to say otherwise. There are people who see themselves in Eliot’s version of queerness (mostly men, sometimes women), just the same way so many people see themselves in Quentin’s version of queerness (mostly women, sometimes men). We deserve more explicit text of their past relationship and Quentin’s current feelings, eventually, but tbh I still think how it’s being portrayed is valid and has made sense within the larger narrative so far.

—

Okay, now I really need to talk about how polyamory is portrayed on the show.

I’m not sure how many people active in this fandom are polyamorous or not (please feel free to give me a shout if you are? I’d love to make more polyam friends here), so extremely bare bones crash course here, since it is an often misunderstood, underrepresented, and stigmatized relationship model:

Polyamory is a relationship model that can take many forms (not necessarily marriage, not necessarily hierarchical), and is always rooted in consent, open communication, and building trust between all partners and metamours (your partner’s partners) in a polycule. All polyamorous arrangements and other versions of non-monogamy are consensual—if they’re not, then quite frankly it’s not polyamory; it’s cheating or, at the very least, pretty dang toxic.

For many of us, polyamory tends to be an alternative to the monogamous “relationship escalator”—instead of every relationship we form having the expectation that it’ll lead to marriage (and/or moving in together, having kids, etc), we choose to explore all the different types of relationships that can form organically in our lives: maybe a long-term partner or two, more partners who are casual but no less cared for and respected, etc. Or there’s solo polyamory, where your primary commitment is to yourself, but you have open consensual relationships with multiple other people, short-term or long-term. There are literally endless other possibilities.

As for how this relates to Quentin & Eliot’s time at the Mosaic: I’ve seen the argument that it couldn’t have been a happy polyamorous thing if only Quentin had two partners. I don’t buy that. Sure, it’s common for there to be relationships where two people each have another partner or multiple partners, but that is not the one right way that polyamory is done or that people who practice it can be happy with.

I personally have been practicing polyamory for several years, and there have been long stretches of time where I simply haven’t wanted to be with anyone else besides my primary partner, even when he has had other partners, and vice versa, and I have still lived my damn life with love. Yes there has been jealousy and insecurity to varying degrees, but there is a lot of support to identify their roots and actively work through them, and face fears. “Love isn’t zero sum” is a phrase thrown around a lot in polyamory literature, but it’s true: The partner who’s only with one person isn’t somehow getting less love. They have their partnership, they have a rich, full life outside of any romantic/sexual relationships, and they have the freedom to be open to other relationships should the opportunities come along.

So, anyway, back to the Magicians: Do I care if the writers intended to show a version of polyamory on the screen in 3x05? Not really. Because what happened anyway, is they did.

I don’t think the writers would or even could get away with representing an explicitly polyamorous relationship, mainly because that is still pretty damn stigmatized and rarely out in mainstream culture. But I do think that they did what they could to make Quentin and Eliot be able to build a family together, which I think was a key part of their narrative. How else would they have shown Quentin and Eliot having a kid in that context? In the space of a highlights montage? I’m not saying Arielle was a fully formed character either, or that she wasn’t a pawn of some sort, but I don’t think she was a pawn to somehow prove Quentin and Eliot had any less real of a relationship. I think if she was a pawn, it was so that they could raise a kid together and have a family. (Which isn’t great, but that’s a whole other issue, not a queer erasure issue.)

My personal headcanon for the 3x05 timeline is that Quentin, Eliot, and Arielle had a polycule that was basically Quentin/Arielle and Quentin/Eliot, with Eliot and Arielle as metamours, who also have some level of romance and maybe the occasional sexual relationship. In my headcanon, they were all happy together, raising a kid together, growing up and out of the insecurities and fears that Quentin & Eliot had back in the present-day timeline. Like, I can’t picture a 25 year old having the exact same hang-ups as a 35 to 75 year old, you know? People grow up. They settle into themselves.

I think that kind of happiness is inherent in how Quentin and Eliot talk about it when they come back: it was sort of beautiful, we worked, who gets that kind of proof of concept. So why would Eliot turn down Quentin when they get back, if that life was so good? I think it’s because wow that is a lot to live up to, when he knows they are not the same people now as who they’d turned into in that timeline. They have those memories and some of that wisdom, sure, but also they are the same people they were back in the future. Eliot doesn’t trust Quentin would choose him in this context, so he runs from things he’s afraid of fucking up or not living up to.

Whatever they are or will become now, I really think that the polyamory in that other timeline was real though. Even though nobody was boning or making out, there was a family of people raising a child together. There were people spending their lives together. It’s not as much representation as we (queer people, polyamorous people) deserve, but it’s not erased either. We focus a lot on the fact that Eliot, upon return, brought up You had a wife. But quickly following that was And we had a family. That’s not nothing.

I think I’ll just end on that note. This is already so long. Let’s see what happens tonight!! [screams into the void]

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

We Did It Bois!

WE GOT DAT ANON HATE!  I actually had to double-check cause I wasn’t sure if I turned on asks for this blog, apparently not.  Fuck, man I’ve been missing out!  This mad lad had to go over to False Idol to leave a comment anonymously.  And since I don’t want that blog getting cluttered let’s respond to it over here  shall we?  Let’s see what this man has to say.

Oh I’m sorry, was my use of the “N-word” inappropriate?   I thought it was quite clear, I was making reference to a joke that’s been a part of the public conscious and internet culture for like a decade now. And I’m absolutely certain if I used that old artifacted to shit meme you wouldn’t be offended!

Oh wait, no. 

There we go.  That cool?  You get the joke? 

I mean, it’s literally the same words, same usage, same context, and demeanor that’s meant to be conveyed!  I actually shy away from using slurs in a purely derogatory way, because that’s not fun or funny.  And if you didn’t catch on, the whole point of these rants is to have fun, while tearing into the comic where it deserves!  But oh no, I can’t say the N-Word even if its clearly done as reference to a popular meme!  Even if it’s done in a positive sense, in approval of a character and their actions!  How dare I as a brown man use the N-Word!  That’s only for black people!  I should stick to the slang words of my own culture that no one gets or would interpret as a joke, right you fucking cuxika haoli?!

And as for the cocksleeve comment, oh sure.  I’m sorry, did I hurt the feelings of this fictional teenage girl?  By calling her a shameful lazy plot device?    Forget the fact I was carpet bombing these “kids” with F-bombs like LBJ in ‘nam, calling a fictional girl in a comic a narrative cocksleeve is just too far!  Even though I clearly stated what the term represented, and how it’s not actually a sexual term in the context of the rant, this is clearly me calling this fictional girl a sextoy.  How dare I?  I should use a softer word, or descriptor in this instance, to lessen the impact of its use, make it less intuitive as to what it means, like all the words you people come up with! But oh don’t worry, I know what you’re saying.  Alright!  Fine!  It’s a harsh word!  I even stated as such in the rant, I should’ve used softer words.  Kinda like how my friend says I shouldn’t call Paulo a Cop-Out Gay, but instead use the term “queerbaiting” because that definitely has the same impact and gets the point across so much better.  

And while we’re on the subject of fictional character ages, you do realize Sam (the cat I use to represent myself in these rants) is like 13, right?  And hell, in the rant  I’ve not only battered her to a broken pulp.  

Bu I also shot this fictional 13 year old girl in the face!

drink alcohol

and attempt suicide! (although Taeshi’s done that too...)

Oh man I actually forgot where I was in this ask, what’re they going on about now?

If you’re talking about the reaction images, you do realize that these are all speed sketches right?  

I literally made this whole page of reaction Sams in like an hour.  Thus the lack of polish, or that much detail.  This entire series is just a fun side thing to break up monotony (and punish myself for when I start to slack off).  Not to mention, if being good at an art medium was the only way you could be a good critic of said medium, then I guess Red Letter Media, Doug Walker,and Brad Jones are all hacks.  Not to mention all the other independent movie, music, and art reviewers too.  

(although I’m sure you’d probably be the guy who’d argue that RLM are all hacks anyway)

and I like how you’ll insult my art and writing, but the only actual complaints you have are on the words I’ve used.  And a lame insult to my art.  And you say I don’t know how to write a story, but you don’t insult any part of my story or writing.

You don’t even have to look at all of it either!  I had a little snippet right in the rant!  It’s right there, you think I can’t write a story, or character?  Why don’t you criticize these scenes I pulled from my own comic?  And don’t worry, I’ll let you critique it even if you draw worse than me!  Cause I’m just a nice guy like that~

But I see you’ve written more, so let’s see what that’s about. 

Excuse you!  I’ll have you know I’ve been drawing these fancomics for almost FIVE years now!

And yeah, guy.  It’s called perseverance and dedication to the craft.  It’s what happens when you have a hobby that you love, and spend time working on.  It’s how  you can go from this 

to this

From this

to this

I know 4 years seems like a long time to progress, and it is.  But y’know what?  That’s nothing to be ashamed of.  I’ve spent 4 long, straight years on this stuff, and that’s a feat that too few artists are able to accomplish. I’ve seen so many astists and webcomics, fan projects, fall apart and not even reach one year before they burn themselves out or give up.  Artists much greater than me, who honestly deserved to have their stories told, and visions seen.  And you can say whatever you want about me, but y’know what? I can proudly say, I finished a long-form story comic.  I said what I wanted to say, I made the comic I wanted to make.  And that’s something that too many artists don’t live to see.  And hell, that’s something Taeshi can’t say!

I still have work to do, (clean up my lines, work on backgrounds more, be better at plotting scenes...) but I know that if I keep pushing at this rate, and bear in mind what I should improve; the next 4 years will only get better.  The only reason I’m not better now, is because of my time on the forum and being pressured by people like you to give up and not pursue what I love doing.  Instilling a sense of insecurity and self-doubt I didn’t have before.  But then again, it’s because of that, that I learned to look so deeply into my own stories to figure out what’s wrong and work on it.   To look at BCB and see its own flaws and to call Taeshi out on that, and to not make those same mistakes myself.  

and even better

It’s what’s made me smart and tough enough to not just take a punch, but throw it back at you. 

But now to the final comment!

“No note Joe”?

Oh my god, what do you even say to something like that?  Is that really the best insult nickname you could come up with?  Is this the kind of lame ass insults you make when you restrict what words you can use?  Jesus!  That doesn’t even make sense!  I know what a one-note person means, I can assume what a no-note person means, but I don’t know what that would have to do with however many people actually care about my art.  Dude are you okay?  I mean this in a serious way, I don’t mean to insult really but...

Are you mentally deficient? are you actually retarded? If so, I admit I do feel a little bad about this.

but also 

> Only you, and what, three other people give a shit about your stank artwork and attitude. 

BRUH

SuitCase WISHES there was only 3 people who are like me. 

But that’s the problem isn’t it?

You really believe that I’m the only one who thinks this shit.  You honestly think that I’m just a random outlier who is just bitching on the internet.  Let me tell you, I’m not alone.  And for a long time, I thought I was.  When I started doing comics almost 5 years ago, fully believing I was alone.  But what I learned from those 4 years making comics, working on the canon, and now doing these rants was that I wasn’t.  That there are people who feel these frustrations.  Not all of them, maybe not to the same degree as me, but they are there.  And what’s sad is that I’m probably the first and only person they’ve heard talk about this shit.  To say the things they’ve been thinking to themselves, and hiding from people like you, because they know if they tried to voice their opinions they’d get shut down the same way.  I’m not championing anyone, I’m not trying to be a role model, or want to be some icon of controversy or dissent.  

I just got no more fucks to give, and a lot of shit to say.

I’d also like to mention, because someone brought up the point that this person is probably just a troll.  And I shouldn’t respond, but calling/assuming someone’s a troll and ignoring them is exactly what SuitCase does, and if there was someone I’d like to think I’m better than, it’d be fucking SuitCase.  Besides, I’ve already got the next update for False Idol colored and lined, and ready for words, and the next update after that sketched up and ready for lines.  So I can spend the time to meme the hell out of an asshole.  And if you think I ain’t gonna take the opportunity to make fun of a guy who can’t properly criticize, argue, or even insult me.  

Then you really.

on some shit.

(Part 2 of the rant will be coming soon)

[sage-nebula]

Okay, so after the commentary I made last season despite being in Japan at the time (how I miss that), I feel like I have to say something about this season, so:

In a nutshell:

This show has been racist for a long, long time, but they really amped it up this season. Between Acxa telling Zethrid that mixed race people like them just have to “let go of their anger” over everyone in the fucking universe discriminating against them and just deal with it, to the fact that the one version of Voltron where Princess Allura is a woman of color also happens to be the only version of Voltron where:

She doesn’t end up with the male lead, but is instead given to the comic relief Nice Guy because he’s “good at winning prizes” and

is killed off for real The racism in this show surpassed even my expectations, and my expectations were pretty low considering crew and cast likes to casually toss around the word “half-breed” like it’s nothing. Allura was made to sacrifice and suffer time, and time, and time again. Each time it was supposedly in the name of showing how selfless she is, and yet not only was she never justly rewarded for all that she went through, but the fact that a dark-skinned girl is made to be the sacrificial lamb for everyone else and is supposed to do so with a smile ties into some pretty racist tropes about how black girls are expected to take on the burdens of others. I’m not black myself so I’m not an expert on any of this, and apologies if I’m speaking out of turn here, but to me this entire thing smacks of racism and I have a strong feeling that Allura wouldn’t have had to go through all this nonsense had she been white as she was in previous iterations. And also? It says a whole helluva lot that Dreamworks refused to allow them to kill off Shiro, a light skinned man (because yes, he’s Japanese, but his skin is still pale), but they were perfectly okay with Allura, a dark-skinned black girl getting the ax. Hmm. Hmmmmmm. Colorism, thy name is Dreamworks.

One of the few parts I actually did watch were the Lotor flashbacks in ep 2. I enjoyed them immensely despite how heartbreaking they were. What I’ve enjoyed significantly less is the sheer amount of people who are somehow just now realizing that Lotor was an abuse survivor at the hands of Zarkon, Honerva, and Dayak. Where was this common sense when you were all vilifying him and calling him a sociopathic monster? We’ve known that Lotor’s true goals were peace and that he was a sympathetic person all along. I’m not impressed by people who only just now realize that Lotor was deserving of sympathy. If you didn’t appreciate him at his “the universe can no longer doubt our strength; each ally gained only makes us stronger” then you don’t deserve him at his, “please, father, I’ll do as you say, please don’t punish the people for my actions.” 

That said, JDS and LM continued their proud tradition of spitting in the face of abuse survivors, because even though they actually showed on-screen that Lotor was abused in his childhood by both his parents and his governess, they later “redeemed” said parents (because of course Haggar wouldn’t have abused Lotor had she known he was her son! no mother would ever!! those of us with abusive mothers are making it up, so says virtually every piece of media out there!!) and had Lotor go to “happily” live with them in the afterlife or whatever the hell that was. I’ll admit, I didn’t actually watch that part, I’ve just read spoilers and seen caps, and I’m furious about it. It doesn’t surprise me, given the “abuse survivors will turn out exactly like their abusers (evil) unless they have a good parental figure to steer them right” garbage they’ve spewed previously, but it still goddamn hurts and I’m so angry they did Lotor like this, again. (And also that they left the girls still on the “he used us omg” bent, when no, he didn’t. Complete garbage and nonsense.

I’m glad Ezor and Zethrid were un-buried. It’s also great that Shiro got to be married on-screen with a kiss between him and his love (whose name is apparently Curtis?). This is the first time we’ve had a mlm couple in a children’s cartoon like this, so it’s monumental and I’ll acknowledge that. However:

Zethrid, as can be expected, was written absolutely terribly. It was proven in season six that the girls would just go wherever the plot demanded they go and had no real characters or arcs of their own, so it’s not surprising, but the fact that they turned her into a complete yandere who wanted to pull a murder-suicide (death by cop style) because her girlfriend broke up with her is a travesty and disservice to her character, especially since earlier seasons showed how thoughtful she could be (such as how and when she decided to turn on Lotor: “Sorry, sir. It’s nothing personal”). 

I think they were supposed to be dead originally, but this was a last minute reversal done after the backlash last season. I also think the only reason why those two are together is because a.) Narti died, b.) Acxa joined the Paladins sooner and had a bond with Keith, and therefore, c.) They were the only two of Lotor’s original squad left on their own for a while. a.k.a., Pair the Spares.

Shiro never got any time to develop with his love interest. It’s still representation and representation is important, particularly when it’s unambiguous representation like this (and I wonder if they added this as a response to last season’s backlash as well), but it still sucks they couldn’t develop this relationship on-screen, and proves that they should have never killed Adam to begin with. If they had truly planned Shiro to be the LGBTQA rep from the start, then how his love story should have gone is:

When Shiro and Keith talk outside of the shack in s1e1, one of the first questions out of Shiro’s mouth is, “How’s Adam?” Whether they broke up prior to Kerberos or not, they were once so close they were going to be married. Shiro was away for a year and some change. There’s no way he shouldn’t have been wondering how Adam was doing.

When Shiro had his whole “you’re not worthy of being a paladin” breakdown with Sendak, since that whole thing is coming from his head, one of the things thrown at him should have been “how could Adam have ever loved you?” to cement the fact, way back in season one, that Adam and Shiro loved each other and that this relationship was still an emotional point for Shiro.

Keep mentioning Adam throughout the remaining before-Earth seasons. Little things like Shiro mentioning that he and Adam saw potential in Keith; Keith getting frustrated at one point and saying that Adam didn’t deserve Shiro, and Shiro quietly saying that Keith doesn’t understand, there was more going on than that. Someone flirting with Shiro and Shiro turning him down and, when asked why, he said there’s someone else he needs to move on from first, et cetera. Or even, since we have to do the clone plot that I just remembered, have Keith mention Adam at some point and Shireplica doesn’t react and that twigs Keith’s attention that something’s wrong.

When squad returns to Earth, Shiro and Adam reunite. Adam runs in for a hug, but then stops himself and goes for a handshake instead. He’s near tears. Says it’s so good to see Shiro again. Shiro is awkward, hesitant, but says that yeah, it is. Adam asks if they can talk privately later. Shiro says yes.

Adam apologizes for the things he said before Shiro left for Kerberos. He apologizes for not acknowledging how important Shiro’s dreams were, explains that he was hurt and that his pain and worry made him angry, but he’s regretted all that he said for the past several years. Shiro accepts the apology, and also apologizes for not acknowledging Adam’s own feelings more, for the life they could have had, for not being open to seeing where Adam was coming from. Both apologies accepted, they sit in silence for a moment until Shiro makes a half-hearted joke, saying, “Well, you said you wouldn’t wait for me, so who’s the lucky guy?” Adam just smiles a little, though he looks hesitant as well, and says, “He’s sitting right beside me.”

From that point forward it may or may not be ambiguous if Shiro and Adam are back together or not (probably wouldn’t be right away, but at least old wounds are cleared away). Adam plays a bigger role in the story, and doesn’t get killed off. He ends up joining the crew of the Atlas.

In the epilogue, Adam and Shiro get married. They kiss. Fin. It would have been that easy, but instead of actually allowing a mlm romance to happen on screen, they went with this instead. Which, again, it’s representation regardless and it’s a nice thing that it exists, but it would have been so easy to make it better, and they did this instead. Smh.

On a related note, it’s not queerbait if one character is explicitly stated to have raised the other in canon, they’re referred to as brothers (both from their perspective and others’) multiple times in canon, and you’re even shown that one met the other when one was a young child and the other was an adult. Ship it all you want, ignore canon in your fanworks all you want, but you can’t cry bait when you get “thank you for raising him to be the man he is today” in canon dialogue and it’s not denied by any of the characters in question (but rather is accepted), particularly not in a show aimed at kids that has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. That’s not bait. That would be like if someone said “this is a red velvet cupcake” and you took it from them, ate it, and then got mad that it wasn’t funfetti. You weren’t baited. That ship sank in s6 along with every single Lotor ship to ever exist. That’s just the way it be.

I’m glad Kolivan made it through that entire hellscape alive. Gods bless my man Kolivan.

Literally none of them even really tried to stop Allura from sacrificing herself, though. In the very end, Team Voltron proves once and for all that they’re all terrible friends who have no chemistry as a team and no real bond. Eight seasons and they couldn’t even give anyone that, smh.

I still can’t believe that after all that they made Altean Lance canon.

Final thoughts:

VLD is trash, it has always been trash, I’m shocked it took everyone so long to catch up but I’m glad you’ve all made it here, and now we’re all free from this godawful nightmare and can put it behind us forever. Also, one more thing:

Do not reblog this post or so help me I’ll delete the post and block you. I do NOT want discourse over this. I just wanted to put my thoughts down since I felt that, after I commented on the fiasco last time, I should do it now as well. If you try to start Discourse™ about any of this or act like little demons, I’ll just block you straight off, thanks.

[beaniegara]

11 Questions

tagged both by @yaboybergara​ and @ricky-goldsworth​ which is great because that gives me 22 questions mwahhahaha thank you folks!! <3 

RULES

1. always post the rules

2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

3. write 11 questions of your own

4. tag 11 people you want to get to know better (or however many you want)

now, see, I don’t know what to ask........ so I’m gonna be a little shit and tag folks to pick 11 of these 22 questions and answer them too. nini and gray pls don’t sue me for reusing your questions, thank fdgkfndgfdsk I’m tagging @kaylotta, @queerunsolved, @haunted-gays, @thatmademadej, and @i-am-ghost-proof-baby <3 if yall wanna do it, of course. no pressure.

this is incredibly long (and uncomfortably honest). let’s go lesbians let’s go

first, nini’s questions:

1. How many pets have you had in your life?

one. I’ve always wanted them but my mom and I have always lived in tiny apartments and had no way to care for a pet so it wasn’t until I was 17 that we adopted a kitten!! his name was merlin and he was the laziest, moodiest lil ball of fluff I’ve ever met. I.. had to give him away a year later because we moved to a place even smaller that wouldn’t allow pets so long story short I’m scarred for life and don’t think I can ever take any more pets without feeling guilty to my bone 

this is merlin btw I love him with all my heart and he now lives in a farm. as far as I know anyway.. :(

2. Do you believe in destiny? Why?

mmm interesting question. weird, metaphysical theories aside, I don’t believe anything is set in stone per se, but I do believe that some things are just... meant to be? in a way? for example, you can’t tell me ryan and shane weren’t meant to be friends and find each other in such an unlikely place as they did. one of my mottos, completely stripped from context because it’s from a rather pretentious tv show, is “the universe is rarely so lazy”. meaning that good things happen for a reason, and that you trailed that path for that to happen. yknow what I’m saying? I can’t really explain this without writing a 10 page essay because that’s just how my gemini ass thinks 

3. If you could chose one person on the great beyond, would you take the chance to talk to them? 

you mean someone who has passed away? oh yeah, I would talk to my grandmother. she was raising me and died when she was 4 and that changed not only my entirely life but our whole extended family dynamic... so many questions.

4. From all your hobbies, which one would you love to make a living of?

oh man, writing. I’ve been dreaming of being a writer ever since I was 9 or something. never panned out but that would certainly be the dream. if I could work with videos, subtitling, tv shows, cinema etc that would also be dope as hell!

5. What’s your favorite color palette to wear?

fkgjfsdgiusfdksd I have no fashion sense whatsoever, idk? I do like to wear dark clothes (because weight..) and reds (because pale).

6. What’s your opinion on queerbaiting?

I don’t have the time for it. for starters, it’s something that usually comes from people with very poor writing skills that can’t come up with plots interesting enough to keep viewers/readers hooked in. that already says something. no offense to anyone who is a fan of shows like these, but when it’s mostly written by white men I just don’t have any high hopes for it. you can ask flavs what my reaction was like when I realized the character I had headcanon’ed as wlw in hannibal was actually a wlw. I couldn’t believe it, because what???? since when does that happen, especially in a show run by a white man??? kjdfghsjgd 

I think this is part of a bigger conversation but my point is, don’t fall for it. I know it’s all part of the fight for representation, asking big names to produce big shows with lgbtq+ characters in it and so on, but for the love of god, watch something else too!!!! let GOT rot and die!!!!!!!!! look up different, smaller, cheaper shows, that’s where you find lgbtq+ content creators!!!!!! there’s so many wlw webseries out there, you wouldn’t believe it. you have a choice. don’t give any more of your time and love and word-of-mouth to shows/movies that clearly have no interest in being more diverse. they don’t deserve you. 

and that’s not to say any of it is on us. quite on the contrary, they’re using us. but aside from calling out their bullshit, we do have a chance to boost lgbtq+ content creators. don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re doing you any favors, or that they’re our last chance so we should be paying attention to what they’re doing/saying. fuck them!!!! you can’t queerbait me because I don’t trust you or give you the chance to do it. and you can shove your very straight, very white shows where the sun doesn’t shine, @ hollywood.  

7. Is there a language you would love to speak?

french and korean, mostly. I can understand a little bit of both, but I really wish I was fluent :( oh, will to live and learn, where art thou...

8. Do you have, like, a dream so wild you think it’s impossible?

kjgnsfdkjhjjs having enough money to support myself and my mother??? I don’t have any big, wild dreams, I think. just.......... living comfortably would be a+  

9. How many AUs of your own life do you have in your head?

oh man. I keep thinking about living somewhere in idk iceland or scotland just like... tending goats or something. that’s the most comfortable version of myself I can think of.

I also like to imagine if I could handle being a film director, because that sounds like fun. maybe a screenwriter? anything creative in films, really. 

there’s also the unattainable dream of having a wife and idk maybe adopting a kid? and we’d just. support each other. and love each other. and that’s just. I. [cries]

I like to think how things would be if I were actually hot and not socially awkward.. I’d be someone completely different, basically lol 

10. If you were to meet your younger self, do you think they would think you cool or not?

oh god, younger me would hate present me D: I had such high hopes for myself, I had lots of dreams lol never in a million years did I think I’d be where I am today...

11. Not a question, but please add something postive about yourself, something that you love about you.

IDJFSSIODUGSDFKGDSJ IT’S LIKE YOU KNEW I’D BE A NEGATIVE FUCK, NINI. I................................ I like that I have an easy time with languages? or with classes in general. I like to learn from people, I’m just really unmotivated to leave the house lol 

now onto gray’s q’s:

1. What’s your favourite music video of all time?

straight-up impossible questions right out of the gate huh I SEE YOU, GRAY. I SEE YOU kjdfgjfsdhgkdsjfs

I’ll have to go with a few,

“prototype” by viktoria modesta is just GORGEOUS. I can’t get over this video & song and it’s been years.

“jackpot” by block b looks creepy as shit but the context makes it such a clever yet fun video. take into account that these guys were screwed over by the kpop company that created the group, and that the lyrics talk about hitting jackpot in an industry that’s savage to say the least. to me this video is a visual representation of what a dangerous trap entertainment companies are in the kpop industry, and it also ties in with the groups’ story of being made into dolls by a company and then telling them to fuck off in the end lol 

“treat me like your mother” by the dead weather. I don’t know why I just love it. (cw: gun violence)

“emperor’s new clothes” by panic! at the disco. I MEAN, LOOK AT IT.

“manyo maash” by puer kim. I just love the aesthetic?

honorable mention: “tick tick boom” by the hives because that’s a banger. ba dum tssss.

2. What’s a favourite memory of yours?

I have plenty of good memories, thank god. I think one of my favorites is just hanging out with my friends in 2008-9; one of their older brothers was driving us around town, we were listening to the white stripes at full volume, singing along, all sitting pressed up close together in his shitty car. man, my teenage years would’ve been fantastic if I had stayed there with them!! 

3. Do you play video games? If so, which one’s your favourite?

I DO!!! I mean, not as much as I’d like because a) no money to spare on games/consoles, and b) I suck at basically everything. but I’m obsessed with paladins these days, and I’m also a big fan of LOTRO. I like horror games--mostly the resident evil and silent hill type--and fps. I grew up playing some tomb raider, medal of honor, resident evil... oh, those were the days. 

4. How did you first get into [your fandom of choice]?

with bfu it was that kind of thing where I’d see a meme or two cross my dash and it was always this ridiculous screenshot, or those “that’s it, that’s the show” kinda things with dozens of thousands of notes... until one day I was incredibly anxious, and I needed to watch something or I’d never finish the assignments I had for college. so I just thought “oh hey I should check out that unsolved thing people like so much, it’s buzzfeed so it’s probably good bg noise to work with” lol and it did work, and I did finish my assignments, and that means that I first watched the show barely paying any attention to it because I was busy doing something else. but ryan’s and shane’s voices helped me relax and to this day they still help a lot with my anxiety, to the point that I need to keep coming back every minute or so during episodes because I get distracted just listening to their voices and not absorbing a word lol

5. How did you first get into fandom in general?

uhh.. well, I was a big “pottermaniac” (that’s how I called it) since I was 9, but that was before I realized fandom was a Thing on the internet too. I remember when I was maybe 10 or 11, I entered a chatroom (god, those were wild) just in time to see someone saying in all caps HARRY POTTER IS GREAT AND YOU’RE ALL DUMB FOR NOT SEEING IT or something fkdsjgfdugfsdk and it was this girl using the nickname fawkes. she was older than me, I think that 15 or something, and we exchanged addresses (!!! how am I alive!!!) and were pen pals for a while. but it took me so fucking long to actually find the fandom online that I think my first brush with it was with the arctic monkeys forum I found online in 2008, where I mistakenly said I liked “the muse” and people laughed at me so I never went back to it lol then in 2010 I found out about kpop and that’s when I really dived head-first into fandom life. took me long enough (tbf I was very against the notion of being a “fan” because I was an idiot).

6. What’s at the top of your bucket list?

great fucking question. no idea. I guess.. traveling overseas? if we’re talking wild, distant things. but closer to my reality, getting a job that pays me at least the minimum wage disjgdfgkfsdk #fuckinternships

7. What’s something not many people know about you?

I love dancing and miss it like hell.

8. What’s your favourite medium for storytelling - movie, book, television, musical, comic, internet video, video game, something else? Why that medium?

ohhhhhhh this is an interesting question. as much as I love writing, and think that’s one of the best things we humans have ever come up with, I do love.. musicals? not necessarily theater--although that’s great and I’d sell my soul to see chicago live--but I love the idea of telling stories through music. I really wish we could bring back the custom of telling stories orally, and through music, and that we could as society agree that collective singing is beautiful and should be reintroduced in our day-to-day lives. sure listening to (1) artist singing is great but hAVE YOU TRIED SINGING ALONG DURING A CONCERT WHERE EVERYONE ELSE IS SINGING TOO? best fucking feeling in the world. 

we had two bands in brazil, in different periods of time, that were so incredibly famous they’re still cornerstones in our music history. one was legião urbana, some folk-ey rock band that had a couple of songs telling these really long stories that I LOVE with all my heart. faroeste caboclo is our bohemian rhapsody, most people my age or older know the lyrics to it. and mamonas assassinas was this comical (?) rock band that sang dumb, fun songs that usually told stories too and that was the best. I miss that kinda thing. 

9. What’s your favourite food?

red meat, mainly churrasco. but I also can’t live without chocolate milk AND the whopper. capitalism has me by the stomach.

10. Do you have a joke to share?

fjgfsdgskfdgfsk I don’t.. it’s been so long since I last tried telling a joke, I don’t think I know any?

11. What song/artist helped you through your struggles?

pitty has been a big part of my life for some 14-odd years now. “be ok” by ingrid michaelson and “starlight” by muse were my anthems when depression hit hard during my teenage years. the white stripes has also been a constant, with gems like “blue orchid” and “a martyr for my love for you” turning into sort of theme songs for certain parts of my life. choi sam helped me through college. and even though they were a huge disappointment to the point that I stopped listening to them altogether, block b gave me a good 4 or 5 years of distraction from life.

[13unknownmind]

What I have to say about Supergirl... Thoughts, theories, things I see as probable to happen and some hopes that I have for next season.

Alright so I will start with a... SPOILER ALERT if you have not seen the Supergirl finally then you might want to turn back now... For those who have or just want to continue reading enjoy.

Now on to what I think.

As of today we have seen all we can until the fall so that is... Fantastic (total sarcasm) but we have to this point seen inconsistent writing and a lot of bad decisions. But we have also seen a lot of good things happen, so let's start with Sam.

Sam, has successfully stayed alive and with the help of Supergirl defeated Reign, made it back to her daughter and we will see how they go along with life next season.

I am hoping that Sam, Alex and Ruby stay in very constant contact and become the closet thing to a family that all that could be left is to actually become one, meaning a possible story line for maybe a three or so episodes where we see Alex struggling to admit her feeling for Sam do to insecurities and or her not wanting to mess up the friendship that they have now and Sam is waiting for Alex to show any sign of wanting to be more then friends cause she has accidentally fallen in love and is making sure that Alex might feel the same way then Ruby either pushes them both to do what she can clearly see they both want to do or just being extremely happy that they finally got together so she has two moms that she knows love her.

As for Alex, now that she is the director of the DEO she can cut back on the field work and make sure that she has nothing holding her back from fulfilling her dreams and living her life how she wants it to be. Like I said the Alex and Sam story would be wonderful to see as well as the possiblity of them adopting another child (that child could even turn out to be either a hero or villain in later years like a story where we see him or her come back in time like trucks in Dragon Ball Z or something) and seeing them come together even more to raise this child with the help of their friends and daughter.

Side note: it would be so amazing to see a married Sam and Alex like them going through the wedding and then Alex adopting Ruby as her own daughter. I would cry.

I would also love to see them grow as characters with each other cause we have two developed characters and we have seen both of their stories we know they are both strong and intelligent woman who can and will do anything for the ones they love and we have seen them both get to a point where they can grow both together and apart and I am so looking forward to seeing what the writers do... I hope they do not screw this up.

Now this is a character that we saw leave a little while back Maggie now this is something that a lot of people would call me crazy for saying so thank you now moving on, I think that whether or not they make Alex and Sam a thing which they should I think Maggie coming back into Alexs life would be a nice twist to the somewhat predictable show overall now think for a second two or three scenarios pop into my head so let's go over them.

Scenario Numero Uno-

Maggie pops back in and tries to get Alex back and see if they can work things out cause let's be for real if anyone was watching the same thing I was when they parted ways neither one of them wanted to let go of the other and let's be real with ourselves for a moment we was all saying "NO DON'T GO" and it would be a little bit of added drama for Alex to deal with and get through and hey if they set it up correctly this could be a lead up to the Sam and Alex story line.

Scenario number two-

Maggie and Alex run into each other and Alex is so shook she breaksdown and runs off or something cause she is finally over Maggie and bam here she is and the not so over Maggie side show comes out cause there is still something unresolved and that could lead to a few story lines like Kara helping her sister through it like she always does and them doing a "Closure Montage or Ceremony" or something... Or it could lead to Sam comforting Alex and helping her get through it ← that could be the reason they get together or while they are together and they could take that a lot of places as well.

Scenario #3

Maggie could have changed her mind about kids and come to find Alex so they could get back together and start a family, which again could lead to several different storyline.

Like- Alex turning her down for either the reason that she has moved on, the reason that she is already interested in someone else (cough cough Sam cough), Alex could have decided that jumping into her work at the DEO was best for her for a while, while she is trying to get things together or while she is deal with something emotionally or that she is simply not going through the whole Maggie and kids things just to protect her heart.

J'onn, I just look forward to seeing what's up with him and his new fownd life away from the DEO.

Winn, I don't see much word from him coming from the future but then again you never know cause the writers on this show like to do odd things... So we will see.

Brainy, we know that he is at the DEO thanks to the seen we see of him opening the envelope from Winn, so he will probably be "taking Winns place" there until I would assume probably season 5.

Mon-El, probably no word or at the very least two or three appearances throughout the next season but I don't see much happening with him until season 5 probably as well but as I said you never know, I am just hoping that his and Karas romantic thing is over soon cause 1 it takes away from the show and the rest of the story if we have 3-5 episodes in a 23 episode season just about the I love you and I love you but we can't be together bs. And 2 I honestly want him and the woman that is supposed to be his wife to actually be together as the married couple they are.

James, I hope that this "unmasking" thing works out for him and that he makes a good life as the guardian of national City but for Gods sake please end he and Lena's relationship cause that is all kinds of wrong on so many levels I just can't with the writers of this show and as for his actual job can we please see him back at cat co actually doing that thing called work cause really... DUDE YOU HAVE A COMPANY TO RUN!!!!!!!!!

Cat, can we please see Cat grant back on this show the world needs Cat.

Eve, what is goin' on with Lena's new lab assistant cause last time I checked the "ditzy blond" can surprise people but come on now what is happening and why was she even working at CatCo.?

Ruby, I know I brought her up but I am talking about her now. I hope to see Ruby learning a lot for both her mom and Alex and making sure that they stay together so we can see a relationship grow between Ruby and the rest of the family that is the team and hopefully Alex and Sam.

Lena, yes we are finally to the one and only Lena Luthor. Ok dude I understand you know your best friend is a super hero and I also understand you are only with the guy your with to try and get over the feelings that you have for and even get back at said best friend but dude what is going on it is almost like Kara having James check out your vault which he didn't do though he said he would and almost did was the straw that broke the Camels back even though 1 you know your best friend trusts you just not with the one thing that can hurt her though I think she was just putting on a show for the DEO and 2 You are fighting against what I can only assume is depression at finding out that you do not feel as platonicly towards Kara as you thought you did only to both find out that she is Supergirl and that she "doesn't trust you" though she does and everything that has happened before this should show that the only reason she has not told you herself that she is Supergirl is the DEO would never allow it so come on cut her some slack and for the whole making synthetic Kryptonite be it green or black and not telling your best friend is kinda messed up though I do understand testing her to make sure of some things. Now let's look at what has happened lately 1 the Green kryptonite that Lena made and Kara started a fight over not only helping to defeat reign but also save everyone in the DEO. 2 Kara not one time yelled at Alex for the use of kryptonite in anyway... 3 Lena just right away forgave James for even thinking about going into her vault (because he is of no real consequence) but she did not forgive Kara "Supergirl" for asking him (because she is the most important person she has in her life and to just forgive and forget would never help them grow as friends). I don't care what anyone says Supercorp is for real man Lena and Kara are so in love with each other it is tangible, though of course the queerbaiting is strong with this one. We will talk about the end scene in a minute and try to break that down.

Now last but not least Kara. There is so much to say right here so let's get started. 1 Kara is totally only telling herself how much she loves Mon-El clearly so lets just not with that situation. 2 So she can't breathe in space but Superman can????? I am so lost here. 3 Are the writers aware of the fact that she has super hearing so she could have stopped Sam the first time but no of course time travel randomly throwing in there to fill up the full 40-plus minutes. 4 Can we just look at how she sent her best friend to the future and didn't even really cry not sure when or even if he would come back. 5 Can we please talk about the fact that she just reset a time line and no one cares but when Barry does it the whole world changes... #superpoint ... 6 Please CW writers give us what we need, Kara finally having the "I'm Supergirl" talk with Lena and the two of them mending the friendship and working through everything they have to get through to be better then they were and maybe become more then friends... Please

Now that I have talked the ears off let's get into the episode and break some stuff down.

Alright now we have a defeated Reign and a safe world... Nope we have a Supergirl clone that is probably a world killer... Great so now we have to kill Supergirl for the what third time I think so let's just think here she walked up to Russian soldiers on duty if I an correct said nothing and that is all we saw so there is a lot that they can do with that but again only if they get it right so let's pray that they don't do to season 4 what they did to season 3 though it was good it could have been better... Anyway moving on to the last scene Lena with more of the black kryptonite after she told momma super that there was no more (probably cause she knows something is gonna happen) I am not gonna just jump on the she is going evil band wagon but I will say that if she does turn evil I will not be ok with that...

Let's all hope something happens and Lena dumps James like he ain't hot.

We all know a few things that are gonna happen for sure in season 4.

1 Kara is still gonna be Supergirl.

2 Alex is gonna be a rockin' DEO director.

3 Lena and Kara are gonna be alright but Lena and Supergirl are gonna need some work.

4 James is gonna be out as guardian.

5 The DEO is gonna be working with non-lethal equipment.

6 Brainy is gonna be learning how to live in the 21 century.

7 We are gonna find out both what Lena has going on and what is up with not only Kara and what she has happening but also the Kara clone.

I know nothing of what the writers are going to do but I do know what I want to see so please 1 do not think that this is all the future of Supergirl cause if I was making the future of this show Supercorp would already be a thing as well as the Sam and Alex story would be a thing next season and 2 if you agree, disagree or have any thoughts on anything that I have said or on things that I have not said but would like to discuss just leave a comment or message me and let me know what you think thanks for reading and if you got this far you are awesome ✌️ take care and God bless

[jemariel]

Sherlock, Supernatural, and How I Am Trying to Take Shipping Less Seriously

I want to tell my story. 

(tl;dr: I have a lot more fun with shipping when I don’t worry about whether or not it will ever be canon. OR: Never put that much faith in the hands of showrunners. It always ends BAD.gif)

I wrote most of this post months ago and it’s been rotting away in my drafts since maybe March? It seemed like a good time to actually post it. This is my own personal perspective, where I’m coming from on this. Obviously everyone’s feelings and opinions are 100% their own and I respect that. We’re all coming from somewhere.

Soooo. I’ve been lurking in various fandoms for a long time. I started in 2001, when I was 14. I’ve seen a lot of changes in fandom and the internet and how we interact with our favorite media. Now seemed like a good time for me to sort through this.

My first OTP was in Highlander. It was, for all intents and purposes, a dead fandom when I arrived. The show had been cancelled 5 years before I even discovered that other people wrote and posted their fanfiction, and one half of my pairing was dead for the final series. The pair I read about maybe shared half an hour of screen time through the whole three seasons they were both in the show? They had very little plot interaction at least.

I didn’t care. It didn’t stop me from reading about them. Didn’t stop me from wanting to put them in the same room and see what happened – usually them getting on like a house on fire.

The point is that we were under absolutely no impression that they would ever become canon. There was literally no possibility for it. But that didn’t matter. We could do what we wanted. We were just having fun.

After Highlander came Harry Potter. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. I don’t remember if I started shipping them before or after the 4th book but it was definitely long before the 5th book. This was the first time I had the inkling that maybe, possibly, JK Rowling might have actually intended them to be read that way. This is where I read my first meta, before it was called that – someone who went through the books and pulled out excerpts that made a person think. Wow that eye contact really did linger, I thought. Maybe that embrace wasn’t strictly brotherly, I said to myself.

At the time, queerbaiting was not even a word in the vernacular. So when the 6th book came out and Tonks and Remus became the most eyebrow-raising pairing I’ve ever encountered, I just shrugged and went on with my life. Sirius was dead anyway so this really changed nothing. I liked Remus the gay uncle werewolf, but bisexual was fine too. I mostly wrote and read about them during their school days anyway. So this was fine.

Eventually I moved on, and where I landed after that was in the grand daddy of all slash pairings, the first fandom in our current fanfiction zeitgeist: Star Trek, the Original Series. Kirk and Spock. This was still a couple of years before the 2009 reboot movies, so all I had was a cheesy 60s TV show with a venerable back catalogue of fanfic. What’s better, this ship could never be sunk! Of course they couldn’t ever be canon, it was the 60s. Times were different. I could ship them with fervor and never be disappointed because of course it was just our interpretation. … Wasn’t it?

Oh, Gene Roddenberry. You idealistic sonuvabitch. You created the Vulcan word “t’hy’la” specifically for Spock to use for Kirk, and you made it mean friend, brother, and lover? Was that really necessary or were you trying to tell us something?

Here I found more fledgling meta, and I went through the novelizations of the movies with a highlighter devouring every piece of evidence I could find. But while this ship was unsinkable, it would also never fly. Even if Roddenberry had intended this, or supported it after the fact, prejudice surely had kept his intentions in the background. Subtext was our friend. We could work with subtext. The subtext wove a gay love story the likes of which we haven’t seen since the ancient Greeks. I was happy with that.

But then.

2010. Sherlock.

I knew going into it that Holmes and Watson were the greatest love story never told. I figured it would be a fun pairing for a while. But oh. I was not prepared. And oh, be still my beating heart, the Angelo’s scene! If I recall correctly I actually sat up straighter in my chair at “so you’ve got a boyfriend then”/”No.” Could they… could he? Did they actually…? Was this written for… me? For us? Could we, the weird little corner of the fandom be right for once?? The slash shippers, the queer kids, the ones who had been peering between the lines for decades to try and catch glimpses of ourselves in our favorite stories?

I buried the thought for a few years, devouring Johnlock fanfic like it was my job, my civic duty, my vocation. I waited patiently for each new series. But I never actually expected anything to come of my hopes until after season 3.

Bet you guessed it. TJLC had caught me like a spark in dry grass. The few analyses I’d read before were NOTHING compared to this. Suddenly it all seemed so possible. So real. After The Abominable Bride it seemed like there was nowhere else to go, nowhere to go but up. We were right. WE WERE RIGHT! For a whole year, we got to relish the thought that it might actually happen.

…………….. Season 4 was… tough. It felt like a slap in the face, all of our hopes thrown back at us with ignorance at best, cruelty and direct malice at worst. If it had been a good season on its own without canon Johnlock I might have been okay, but as it is….. It was not the first time I’ve had my heart broken by a TV show, and probably only seems like the worst by virtue of being recent. But I would very much like it to be the last.

A few months before diving head-first into the pre season-4 gear-up, I watched a few seasons of Supernatural. Just enough to meet Castiel and lay the groundwork for a Destiel obsession as a contingency plan for if season 4 of Sherlock went all pear shaped. I’m glad I did or I don’t know where I would have found my refuge.

But I started to notice something. From my earliest wading in the Destiel end of the tumblr pond, I shied away quickly from any discussion of evidence, subtextual clues used to make predictions, or whether or not Destiel could or should or will be canon. I still take all meta and spec I read with a healthy pinch of salt. I am trying very hard not to care about whether or not it becomes canon, because honestly? I miss the days when whether or not a ship was canon or had a snowball’s chance of ever becoming so had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I shipped it.

Fandom is just one of many echo chambers that the internet has molded around every one of us. It is so easy to become convinced that our way is right and everyone else’s way is wrong, because we only hear our own voices and those of people we agree with reflected back at us.

We are not the arbiters of what happens in canon. The showrunners are NOT obligated to listen to us. Not everyone can be right, and the showrunners cannot listen to everyone. Nor should they. They are, for better or for worse, creating their own story. Not ours.

We can always write the story the way we want to, over and over in countless different ways. These days I see a show almost more as a set of toys to play with than as its own impermeable whole. I can believe that Dean and Castiel have been slowly falling in love over the course of the last decade. I can decide when and where I want them to have first admitted it, to themselves or each other. What’s more – I can change my mind. Some days I like believing that they’ve been together since Cas’s hand print was still fresh on Dean’s shoulder. Some days I’d rather believe that they’re still pining and in various states of denial. Or anything in between – it’s all equally valid. Once it’s said and stated in canon, that’s it. That’s the show. That’s how it happened. I like the freedom I have when my ship is not explicitly canon. The best is when they are clearly aware of it and give us moments like the mixtape or the Fanfiction Gap of 9x06 – new toys to play with – but let us shape what’s actually going on. As I say in my tags sometimes: They clearly love us and want us to have nice things.

All of this is NOT to say that up-and-coming queer kids do not richly need and deserve representation. God, not at all. I beat myself up about this a lot, for what feels like a terribly selfish desire to just enjoy it and not worry about whether or not the up and coming queer youth could have it better than I did. They can and they should and I still believe that season 4 of Sherlock was the biggest missed opportunity in queer cinema history.

I just can’t take it so personally anymore. For the sake of my favorite hobby, I cannot stake my enjoyment of a pairing and a show on whether or not the showrunners want to take the risk. I cannot let them dangle me on that particular string. I cannot give them that power over me. 

So this is my manifesto, for me personally. If Destiel becomes canon? I will be over the moon. But I will not go hunting for it. I won’t expect it. I will cherish every gift that the showrunners give to us because they’re not obligated to give us a damn thing, so I can’t take what they do give us for granted. I will live my headcanons, write my fics, and I will love the show for what it is, warts and all. I will ship my ship, enthusiastically and with my whole heart, because it brings me joy to do so. Canon or no canon. @starsinursa @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow

[xamstown]

I'm new to the Sherlock fandom so maybe I really have no right to say any of this stuff, but I've been wanting to get it out of my chest, 'cause all this hate coming from some parts of the fandom is kinda making me uneasy.

I get that people are getting offended of how the show looks like it's queerbaiting, and yeah I see what people mean.

But queerbaiting is never something intentional, especially since Mark's a part of the writing. He's gay, married to a gay man, and is an active advocate, so why would he tolerate, let alone, participate in something like that?

I've also read that infamous interview with Steven Moffat where the way he dismisses Johnlock was kind of rude & disrespectful, and that's the one thing from the writers that put me off. He really should've worded that better.

For everything else, homosexual subtext has definitely been around since homosexuality became even minorly prevailent. But that doesn't mean that just because something ensues homosexual subtext, that it should already be taken as such. Not every hint on gay ships in the show is intentional, especially not the romantic/intimate ones.

I get why a lot of people interpret it in a romantic sense, something like that isn't 'jumping to conclusions' or 'misinterpretation'. If you're part of the audience, you have every right to have your own understanding of how the plot runs, and have every right to express it to the rest of the community, that's why most of us retreat to platforms like Tumblr.

And it's definitely okay to ship, that's just being humane. You do that to any show, book, movie, you do that in real life for God's sakes. (i don't even wanna talk about ship wars anymore)

But just because you ship something, and the story looks to be pointing in that direction, and the characters act that way, and the actors sometimes hint that it might be what it is, it still doesn't mean that it's intentionally supposed to look like that.

I'm bi and I've been looking for some form of representation in shows that I get into, even in Sherlock, but I know that the writers don't owe me that. They owe me nothing, if anything I owe them. They made me enjoy life a little more after getting to witness the brilliance of what they wrote.

I don't really think it's necessary to despise Steven Moffat and/or Mark Gatiss (especially Mark, oml) because their writing seem to insinuate a gay relationship, then they take it away.

And it's fine to hate queerbaiting as a concept. Hell, it's fine to dislike queerbaiting even if it isn't intentional. But you need to hate the queerbaiting part. Not the writers who probably aren't even doing it on purpose.

Accuse someone not for who they are, but for what they've done.

Mofftiss deserve more credit than they're already getting, because like it or not, Sherlock is one hell of a brillianty-written show. Amazingly worded one-liners. Carefully crafted plot points.

The show's incredible, the actors are incredible, the delivery and production are all incredible. But all of that's nothing if it weren't for the writers.

They wrote Sherlock the way they wanted to, and they've been fans of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes since they were kids.

Above eveything else though, KEEP SHIPPING AND NEVER STOP. Doesn't matter who your OTP is or which ships you support, keep at it, we love them, all of them.

REBLOG IF YOU STILL LOVE STEVEN MOFFAT AND MARK GATISS

[gregorsamsadementiaravenway]

Stray notes after watching The Last Jedi

Or: why does this movie just keep getting worse whenever I remember it?

The notes are after the cut just in case someone hasn’t seen the film yet or doesn’t want a long ass bullet point post in their dash. Some of them are serious and well thought-out, some are nitpicky and some are there just for the heck of it.

“Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.” - Why, that’s just peachy, Rian! Too bad the future your selling is a little shit.

In general, Rian Johnson doesn’t seem to have much respect for the past. See tathrin’s post about all the things established in TFA that were turned upside down in this film, but I think Johnson doesn’t have much consideration for the original trilogy either, reducing Chewbacca to a background character and trying to replace “May the Force be with you” with some other, less inspired line.

Seriously, why are they saying “Godspeed”? Did monotheism reach a galaxy far, far away and they now, suddenly, have a notion of God? And, while were at it, why is “treacherous snake” a thing, now? Are there snakes in the Star Was universe? ‘Cause, so far, all animals have been on the fantastic side of things. What else is there? Do they have kittens??? That’s an important question...

The movie had A LOT of hamfisted comic relief. Of course there were some honestly funny scenes (I will forever laugh at Rey feeling the Force with her hand), but most of the jokes felt very out of place. For instance, the first scene, with Hux and Poe. I laughed my ass off at that interaction, but that’s an SNL sketch, not a Star Wars scene. I was half expecting Matt, the radar technician, to show up.

Seriously, someone should tell Rian Johnson that he isn’t directing Guardians of the Galaxy. In more than one scene, the excess of jokes killed what should’ve a truly great, emotional moment.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much indifference do I feel towards porgs?

The ammount of queerbaiting that went into promoting this film was insane. Look, actors on franchises like this one have media training, so whenever, say, Oscar Isaac ran his mouth about the possibility of Finn/Poe being canon, he was at least authorized by Disney to do so (worst case scenario, he was instructed to sell this narrative). I didn’t particularly care about the ship and I think Poe Dameron could’ve died in TFA without any harm to the franchise, but to hamfist that non-sensical romance between Finn and Rose after feeding the fans’ hopes for a gay pairing was, in my opinion, downright cruel.

And don’t even get me started on Poe and Rey’s meaningful gaze at the end of the film, with Poe going all “I know” as if he’s Han Solo or some hot shit like that! Poe/Rey is the worst possible ship to become canon. Yes, the worst. Yes, you heard me, worse than Reylo.

Speaking of Reylo: after TFA, I said that I low-key shipped them ‘cause that’s the kind of fucked up ship I like. Look, there are people in this website who like to wear diapers and want to fuck Pennywise, so, screw you, I’m not apologizing for wanting to read fics about a fictional pairing made up of two adults. HOWEVER, this is not the sort of thing I want to be canon. From the get go, my opinion on Rey’s official love life has been “either she ends up with Finn or she ends up alone”. That being said, I think they handled the relationship between her and Kylo Ren very well in this film. I’m glad they didn’t deny the fucked up sexual tension that was going on there, especially coming from Ren’s side, and chose to play into it. A failed redemption arc fits them perfectly and Kylo Ren’s “please” when he asks Rey to rule beside him was a great moment for the character and one of the few truly emotional moments of the film.

But that thing were they get to hit on each other through the Force, sharing sad stories and touching hands? Yeah, I’m pretty certain I’ve read that fic. Actually, I’m pretty certain I’ve read about three fics like that.

Let’s keep on the Kylo Ren track for now, then: he did get some very nice character development in this film. The Last Jedi was more his than any other character’s, even Luke. For a minute there, before the movie came out, I thought they were going to make some changes to him due to the whole backlash, but they went full “overgrown angsty kid” with him in a way that actually made him more compelling. I like the way Luke’s fear ended up pushing a conflicted teenager into the Dark Side and that Kylo is still very much stuck at that moment. As usual with Sith and Sith by-products, Kylo Ren is moved by anger, and his anger feels much more real after this little bit of backstory.

Who is Snoke, though? Are they going to explain that in the next movie? It feels like they should’ve done it in this one, but I hope they at least give him some context before the trilogy is over.

Sooooo... Did your conflicted antagonist cladded in black, with black hair falling all over his face, just trick his bald, deformed Dark Lord by using his occlumency powers? *Owen Wilson voice* Wow.

“The Supreme Leader is dead. Long live the Supreme Leader.” - A perfect example of a really amazing moment botched by comic relief, ie, Snoke’s little tongue falling out of his dead body.

After the film ended, @robogigante​​ complained a lot about Hux’s transformation from an actual, threatening villan into a punchline, and, you know what? He’s right. There’s a scene there that looks like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I hate evil, square-headed BB-8?

I’m sort of glad Rey’s parents aren’t anyone important. Star Wars relies too much on heritage and it’s a nice change having a hero who isn’t Space Jesus or Space Jesus’ direct lineage. Her scene in the cave was incredibly beautiful.

They did point to something else in TFA, though, implying heavily that her origin was important and that Kylo Ren already knew about her. That was some Moffat level of badly written plot twist right there.

There’s something Emma Watson-y about Daisy Ridley. This is neither a compliment nor a complaint, just something I hadn’t noticed before.

Both Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver grew a lot as actors since the last movie, especially Driver. Even though it’s still hard to take Kylo Ren seriously sometimes due to Driver’s cry-baby face, he’s way more convincing in his rage and intensity than he was in TFA, where his acting felt a little too mechanical.

However, some of the other actors aren’t living up to their potential. John Boyega’s charisma is extremely underused and I know for a fact that Domnhall Gleeson can do a lot better than what he was given here. In a couple of scenes, even Hamill and Fisher seemed a little uncomfortable in their roles.

“Shit, we’ve already signed Lupita’s check! Gotta shove her in here, somewhere!” - I’m so sorry, honey. You are so beautiful and talented... You deserved way better than that.

Kelly Marie Tran is adorable and I absolutely love her in interviews and such. She seems like a delightful person. However, her character was completely unnecessary. Her only purpose was to serve as a future love interest to Finn, and I’ve made my thoughts about that pairing quite clear already.

“...it’s saving the ones we love...” - BITCH, YOU’VE KNOWN HIM FOR WHAT? A DAY?

As a matter of fact, all of that storyline felt completely unnecessary. It was as if the writers didn’t know what to do with Finn so they gave him a spunky sidekick and a pointless mission just to kill time. I found myself wishing he had spent the whole movie in a coma, and that’s really sad, because I really like John Boyega and was hoping he would become a strong protagonist for the franchise.

Another thing @robogigante​ pointed out (and I’m quoting him ‘cause I know he’s not making a post of his own) is that Holdo had no reason whatsoever to hide her plan from Poe or anyone else in the Resistance. She just... didn’t like Poe Dameron that much...

Excessive jokes aside, casino planet was okay and helped flesh out the Star Wars universe a little bit more. However, much like Phasma, Benicio Del Toro’s character (whose name I already forgot) was just another Boba Fett, all flash and no substance, and I particularly hate that “squeaky clean abused little children representing hope” crap. It’s one of the tackiest tropes in existence.

I did get the feeling that that kid is going to join the Resistance on the next movie. Like they’re going to do a ten year jump to justify Leia’s disappearance/death. It would also help the Rebels to get their shit back together, Kylo Ren to gain more control over the First Order and Rey to learn some more about the Force in order to meet her fate. The existence of that child is still horrible and that ending was so over the top I can’t even put it into words, but it’s a good hook for a leap that, if handled well, could be very good for the story.

I also got the feeling that they originally inteded to kill one member of the original trio per film. That would’ve been cool. Too bad Leia will have to die off screen.

Was it just me or is the timeline in this movie really weird? Poe’s plan seems to take place entirely in a day, maybe two, while Rey apparently spends at least a week in Luke’s island.

I’m glad Carrie Fisher got to have at least one badass Force user scene before dying. Her flight among the debris of the Rebel cruiser was a beautiful reminder of how powerful the Force can be, on par with Luke’s astral projection, not to mention a gorgeous scene in its own right.

Holdo and Leia definitely had a torrid love affair after the Organa-Solo divorce came through. No one will ever convince me otherwise.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I love the crystal foxes?

There was a preoccupying absence of wipe transitions and epic soundtrack inserts. Actually, I don’t even remember hearing any music at all. The editing was way too conservative. It didn’t even feel like a Star Wars movie, sometimes.

How is it possible that The Force Awakens was basically a remake of A New Hope and still felt more daring that The Last Jedi? Look, we already know you’re not killing any of the characters ‘cause they have to come back for the next installment, but raise those stakes a little bit, jeez! Give Kylo Ren and Snoke more conflict before their face-off, give Rey an opportunity to actually scare Luke with something that matters, give Finn and Poe a mission that actually means something to the Resistance, not a MacGuffin to keep them busy... Anything!

The Last Jedi is actually an okay-ish movie, to be honest, but, in a way, I think I disliked it even more than the prequels. Sure, The Phantom Menace is objectively a much worse film, but at least it had soul. George Lucas’ midichlorian and CGI packed soul, but soul nonetheless. The Last Jedi has nothing. I know Star Wars movies are all about the money, let’s not delude ourselves that this is in anyway high art, but this one just felt like the biggest money grabber of all. There is no personal investment in it whatsoever and no sign of what makes Star Wars Star Wars in the first place.

When’s Lando coming back?

BONUS: I am never watching a fucking 3D movie again in my life. The background always seems out of focus, it’s too expensive and I hate putting glasses on top of my glasses. I don’t care if I have to wait a month to watch the next Star Wars, I don’t care if I get spoilers, I’m not watching anything in 3D ever again.

[thesffcorner]

The Gentleman

The Gentleman is directed by Guy Richie, and follows a star-studded cast of characters. We start with Frazer (Hugh Grant), a private eye, who is blackmailing Ray (Charlie Hunnam) and his boss for 2 million pounds. Ray’s boss Mickey Pearson (Matthew McConaughey) is the undisputed lord of weed, having a business worth 400 million pounds, which he is trying to sell to American ‘businessman’ Matthew (Jeremy Strong) and retire. Through a series of unfortunate circumstances involving a farm robbery, a brush with the Chinese mafia, the unfortunate death of a Russian oligarch’s son and a newspaper mogul’s personal vendetta, the deal seems to be in danger of falling through, and Frazer is there to capitalize on it.

This movie is wildly entertaining, though nothing original. If you’ve seen one Guy Richie film, you’ve seen them all; the specifics are different obviously, but this is still another gangster action-comedy with a men with heavy accents, coming up with the most creative ways of using the word cunt in every sentence and a plot so convoluted, you need to be taking notes.

It’s a good film, is what I’m trying to say; as good as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch, but definitely on par with RocknRolla or the Man from U.N.C.L.E. I have a lot of thoughts, as I always do with Richie’s films, so if you are curious to know more, and don’t mind some mild spoilers, join me after the cut.

The framing device of this film reminded me a lot of the Cloud Atlas story about the Russian gangster, turned author who threw a critic off of a roof, because it’s all told in flashback, with Frazer explaining everything that happened to Ray, as if he’s writing a Hollywood screenplay. He has in fact written said screenplay, and there are even some funny scenes where he has Ray help him act it out.

I’m not really sure how I feel about the framing device; it was at once annoying to have over half of the film told to us, because I kept thinking we were still setting up the characters when we are over half of the film in. However, there is a point to this, in that Frazer is an unreliable narrator, and he fabricates portions of the story and even invents entire scenes. However, you really do need to enjoy Hugh Grant’s voice if you are going to watch this because he has a LOT of narration. He isn’t an active player in most of the film, and yet he’s the POV character; everything we know about Mickey, Dry Eyes and Matthew we learn from him; the only character who isn’t entirely informed by him is Ray.

Grant is an entertaining narrator; he has a rather colorful vocabulary, which makes even the most basic descriptions of the characters hilarious or if nothing else shocking. He seems to speak exclusively in sexual innuendos, and every sentence is him hitting on Ray or a metaphor for sex. A lot of the blocking in the scenes, and even entire jokes are at the expense of men trying to outwit and outplay each-other in the most homoerotic of ways, but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be laughing at the absurdity of the situation or at the implication that Grant is gay and is failing to hit on Ray. None of characters are queer, and yet the film has no problem with queercoding the two more effeminate characters in the film, and having them be the main villains, which was… a choice. In Richie’s defense, everyone is a horrible person in this film, but there is a rather clear distinction between the way say, Mickey is presented and Frazer.

Even Ray, who is his own POV character, spends a lot of the film running around London at Mickey’s bidding. He and Mickey are glued to the hip; Mickey has a wife that he clearly loves and is devoted to, and yet if he and Ray aren’t sharing a scene they are on the phone with each other. I can’t tell what the film is trying to say with that, other than that Ray is completely devoted to Mickey, and if there is some bigger metaphor there, I missed it.

The action was surprisingly mild and played mostly for comedic effect. There were a few brutal scenes, like someone getting run over by a train, or a truly, TRULY unnecessary rape attempt of the ONLY female character in the film. But for the most part, the action is played for laughs: there is a hilarious chase scene throughout London that had me in stitches, and then an even funnier music/combat video of a robbery.

But let’s be real; you are here for the dialogue and the characters. Side note, I don’t know who was translating this film in Macedonian, but they were having a field day with the subtitles: I had no idea there even existed that many ways to say the word cock in Macedonian.

As any Richie film, the characters are absurdly crass and verbose; every line is a euphemism for sex, and the characters are constantly casually racist or misogynist. They are meant to be like that; they are gangsters, drug dealers and killers after all, but even the characters we are meant to sympathize with, like Ray display some weirdly vicious hatred of women and especially drug addicts. Rich coming from someone who smokes weed. It’s explained away that he is just a germaphobe, and he considers addicts filthy, but that isn’t exactly painting him in a better light. Ray as a whole was a character of contradictions. He is very judgmental and snobby, but he also hates rich people. He is presented to be out of touch, but also clever. His relationship with Colin Farrel’s coach character was pretty funny (and the most explicitly queerbaiting), but I do have to admit that his attempts to come off as threatening to the Couch were more hilarious than genuine.

The character I liked the most and who had the least amount of dialogue was weirdly enough, Matthew McConaughey’s Mickey. He was perfect for the part; he just exudes power, and a thinly veiled aggression that could explode at any moment. I absolutely bought him as a ruthless and intelligent businessman, and every scene he was in I was engaged. I also just have a weakness for characters who are indisputably powerful and yet they love their partner, in this case his wife Ros.

I wish Ros was in the film more; she’s entertaining, she has some funny lines. I think Richie might have a thing for women and cars, because this is the second character who works as a mechanic; in this case she makes extravagant sports cars for the rich wives and mistresses of gangsters. I also liked how she supported Mickey’s desire to retire, while not actually being the one who makes him do it.

However, she was the only female character in the film, and there is the aforementioned completely unnecessary rape attempt. I actually hated this part, because there is nothing funny or entertaining about sexual violence, especially not in a film where there are no other women. There only other female ‘character’ is Laura, who has 2 lines and gets unceremoniously killed off.

The scene where she dies is supposed to be a dramatic climax of the film; it’s the scene where we acknowledge for a moment how truly dangerous heroin is and how the people who make and deal heroin are actively ruining lives. But to have that verdict come from a white man, a white AMERICAN man who has made a fortune off of selling weed to rich kids and aristocrats was infuriating. Don’t try to have some kind of moral high ground when your lead character is proof of men who exploit the unjust legal system and get away with crimes that people of color could never.

There were many scenes that were ‘comically racist’; the standout is the Coach arguing with his black student that the phrase ‘black cunt’ isn’t racist because he is black and a cunt. I’m not going to debate you on whether that’s racist or not; I’m not black.

However, the entirety of Henry Golding’s character? That was racist.

I don’t blame him for taking the role; he gets to be an unhinged gangster holding his own against Matthew McConaughey. He gets to piss on a corpse. But he also plays the Oriental vicious and violent opponent, to the calm, collected and suave white man; he attempts to rape someone, kills his own boss in blind ambition and double crosses his partner, while relying heavily on stereotypes, which were not fun to watch.

Then we have Matthew who is Jewsh, which is very strongly hammered into us by the film. He is effeminate, duplicitous, greedy and physically weak; and then he gets to be the main villain and mastermind behind everything. Jeremy Strong is great in the part as always, but he’s still playing a rather overt and dangerous stereotype. Let’s not even talk about Frazer or the amount of fat jokes made at Eddie Marsan’s expense.

Overall, I liked this film. I enjoyed it, I laughed, I was appropriately shocked. But I just couldn’t shake some of the more problematic aspects of the story, and I don’t even think they were intentional. But I think those things still should be pointed out and discussed because I know Richie can do better, and relying on outdated and lazy stereotypes in 2020 is just a bit weak.

letterboxd

[justgotham]

When it premiered in 2014, the premise of Gotham was easy to explain: the show is a prequel to the Batman mythology as comic book readers, animated series watchers, and moviegoers already know it. It's telling not just the origin story of Bruce Wayne's alter ego, but the origin stories of the theatrical, malevolent bad guys who'll plague his version of the city. And perhaps the most sympathetic downward spiral has been the transformation of umbrella boy Oswald Cobblepot into the criminal mastermind known as Penguin. Gotham added another step past the point of no return for Oswald this season when he was jilted (and nearly murdered) by Edward Nygma (Cory Michael Smith), who Oswald claimed to be in love with. For both characters to stay on their trajectory towards city-threatening super-villainy, they couldn't have a happy ending. Yet some Gotham fans cried "queerbaiting" on social media when the relationship was never consummated. In an interview at Bustle HQ, Robin Lord Taylor says that "queerbaiting" accusations "baffled" him. Homophobic backlash, he sadly anticipated. But not that.

"So, of course I expect 'f*ggot this' and 'gay that,' and 'they ruined the show,'" Taylor says. "We had a little of that. But on the other hand, I was not expecting on the progressive side of things, still that same exact insistence on putting people into a definable box — into a box that [viewers] can also identify with — as opposed to letting an experience happen."

Taylor is protective of Oswald, murderer though he may be, but more protective of presenting an authentic experience. As he talks about his character's romantic awakening and some fans' perception that the show had cultivated 'shipping via performative homosexuality with no intent of "following through," he leans forward in his chair and punctuates his words by lightly punishing the tabletop.

The criticism is especially frustrating to Taylor because since he heard from the writers that Oswald would be developing these feelings, he's taken an active role in helping the show tell a story that doesn't "ring false." When I ask him how he first reacted to the pitch, he chooses his words carefully and gives me the fears first.

"My big concern was like, OK so, this is the first time I’ve heard about any sort of alternative sexuality to Oswald, be it anywhere on the spectrum," Taylor says. "Even any mention of any sort of romantic interest. I myself am gay, so I knew that this is not going to be a traditional story of someone coming out of the closet."

While other Gotham baddies want power more than anything, power is just a vehicle for Oswald to achieve something else: validation and love. Taylor sees the former Gotham City mayor as a person who's "very emotionally, physically, sexually immature," possibly because his self-worth "has been beaten out of him" after years of abuse and ostracization.

"I wanted to be true to what I know and understand of human sexuality and it’s not that you" — he snaps his fingers — "wake up one day, and you are gay. And to say that you are gay means that you identify with a group of people; it’s a cultural thing," Taylor says.

For him, Oswald doesn't claim that orientation, nor any other. Taylor was determined to keep his character's discovery "a romantic, yearning need to connect with somebody" rather than strictly sexual interest, because Oswald's understanding of himself is so limited.

"It was the Riddler — the first person who showed any respect or understanding or even enjoyment of Oswald’s company," the actor says. "Who's to say that if it was Barbara that it couldn’t have been her? I wanted to keep that ambiguous. Because what I understand of my own personal experience being gay... this is something that I’ve been thinking about my entire life. It’s always been a part of my life."

Of course, Oswald's wooing of Ed didn't go exactly as planned. (Isn't it just like the Penguin to kill the competition to get her out of his way?) But Taylor says these two characters are inextricably linked to each other, even if Nygmobblepot 'shippers should get used to the idea that there's no white picket fence on the horizon.

"It's a one-sided romance thing, but in [the April 24 episode], it’s when the Riddler announces himself and he’s taking pills and he’s having hallucinations and he’s hallucinating Oswald and you can see in those exchanges — not romantically, he didn’t have that for Oswald — but there still was a love and a respect and a need on his part too to connect with him," Taylor says.

You'll remember that scene: it's where Ed has a vision of his old friend Oswald singing a sultry Amy Winehouse song. (They recorded his vocals, by the way, in the same studio where Winehouse laid down hers — an experience Taylor says made him ask himself, "What the hell am I doing?")

"If you watch it back and you notice: this is the first time you see Oswald in the traditional tux and tails and top hat, which is the traditional Penguin look," Taylor says. "And I love that he didn’t come up with that look initially. That was the Riddler. So it’s almost like Riddler created part of me. And they’ve created each other, there is no one without the other."

It's the coexistence of their kinship and their bad blood that make Riddler and Penguin quintessential Gotham bad guys. And that brings Taylor back to the misguided complaints that those crazy two kids just can't make it work.

"It’s never going to be the show where people live and fall in love and live happily ever after. This is a story about how these people become psychopaths," he says. That's the theme of the series for the actor: "What happens when love is ripped away? When the access to love or to be gentle or be respectful — when connection between two humans — when that is ripped away, what’s left after that? And in this case, this is how these people go from villains to super-villains."

It wouldn't be Gotham if it were populated with happy, fulfilled people. This heartbreak is bringing Oswald ever closer to the villain fans know from Bruce Wayne's canonical future, and his new alliance with Dr. Strange's "freaks" is a part of that. But in spite the vast range of reactions to Oswald's Season 3 arc, the actor is pleased that it provoked a reaction at all.

"What I love about it is that it created this much bigger conversation," Taylor sums up. "I'm talking about queer politics. I'm talking about where people fall on the spectrum. This is a giant conversation that we’re having, that’s originating in a Batman story."

Even a heightened world like Gotham's can still have a lot to say about the world we live in, and Robin Lord Taylor is determined to keep it (close to) real.