#I think the commenters are younger than me

[selkie-on-land]

I always saw this quote ''trauma it's your fault but it's your responsibility to heal '' used to blame victims of male violence, especially in the militant/new generations. It goes usually with this bs ''if you don't work on healing you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are ''. But it's the same rhetoric and literally same sentence that ''if you don't report/press charge on this abuser, you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are. And if they abuse someone else, this on you not on them. '' and they usually goes hand in hand. Like every time I've seen someone said/wrote one, they always have already said the other one too. And it's always said in response to a woman testifying/open up on her abuse.

It goes hand in hands with this one too ''you're an abuser to share your abuse like that. You're literally traumatising and abusing everyone who is going to read you. You're not a feminist/victim you're just like any man. You should be ashamed of yourself and fix it before damaging every woman that you speak to. This is just trauma dumping and this is very wrong, this is an abuser tactic. ''

Until now, I was too emotional/triggered to think about that in an analysis process because I have a lot of cptsd from those types of response when I tried to talk about some of my abuse. And it deeply traumatized me to the point where I'm now unable to open up about any of my abuse except if the subject is already opened up. Even in therapy btw, because I'm deeply convinced that if I do I'm going to abuse my therapist.

To the point where I'm wondering if all three are not actually the same thing or part of the same thing. Maybe that thing has a name, but I can't find it. If you do, please, I would gladly know it!

I think that this is victim blaming but in a very specific manner, that seems to be different than the one usually spread, and maybe silencing victims voice but I don't know it feels like I'm missing something ? I thought about DARVO ? But darvo is used by an abuser on his victims not from an external source, right? Or maybe I don't know enough about it.

I received this type of comments/abuse from younger and my own generation (90s), never from an older one. And I mostly received this in space made for speaking out your abuse, like Call for testimonies for this or that violence, in every single ''feminist'' space ivl as irl.

Even now, here, I'm not comfortable with writing this down because I was always also assaulted when I was calling out this type of behaviour so it's very sensitive for me. It's been half an hour since I'm spiraling into anxiety to post or to delete everything. I know I shouldn't feel that way. I know that this is wrong. I'm wrong I know. But it's eating me from the inside. Why ? Why am I struggling like this, usually I don't, I don't even care of what people might think of what I wrote. But here I'm just freezing because I know, statically, it's absolutely certain that I'm going to be assaulted and abused if I click on the reblog button and I don't want to be assaulted or abused. So the only way to be sure I won't is to not post this. I hate myself for just such pity like I feel like I'm exactly what they refer to when they talk about victim personality that self pity etc. Oh fuck off Anna and post it anyway!

Edit : it lasted 4 hours. I had to put in private because I was (and still am) in a big anxiety attack and autistic meltdown due to the pressure and anxiety of waiting to see when the assault I'm waiting is going to happen. (Also waiting mode from my autism). I hope I will be able to let it that way and won't have to delete it. Also wish I could just let it be as all my other post. But obviously I'm too traumatized by women in ''feminist'' space for that.

crazy how trauma isn't your fault but it's your responsibility to heal.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Try, Try, Try 1

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics including adultery and trying to conceive. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: husband!Andy Barber, friend!Thor

masterlist - to be added

Summary: your husband puts high expectations on you but you don't think you'll ever be enough for him.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

A single line. Negative. You cringe as you hold the plastic stick over the bin in disappointment. There’s a knock at the door. 

“Well,” Andy’s voice rumbles through. 

You drop the test into the garbage and exhale softly, “not this time.” 

You crank on the faucet and rinse off your hands. The door opens from the other side and Andy meets your eye in the mirror. You can see the same disappointment in him. He even looks angry. 

“You been taking your vitamins?” He asks. 

“Yeah,” you nod to the pillow box, each day a separate compartment, filled with the multicolor tablets. “I’m off coffee finally. No drinking. I gave Lisa a bunch of wine.” 

Your husband sighs, “you were ovulating. You said so.” 

“Andy,” you shrug. “It just takes time.” 

“Three years,” he says. “Yeah, a long time.” 

You wince at his disapproval. You shut off the tap and dry your hands. “I know. I’m trying.” 

“We’re both trying,” he insists. “Even on the days I’m tired, from working, when all I wanna do is nothing, I try. All according to your calendar. Are you sure you’re doing it right?” 

“What?” You face him. “Yeah, it’s an app and the tests--” 

“I don’t know. Maybe you aren’t trying as hard as me. Or maybe you’re hiding something.” 

His accusation is like a slap in the face. You blink furiously and shake your head, “what are you saying?” 

“You went to the OBGYN last week. How do I know you didn’t get pills? Or an insert?” 

“Huh?” You grimace. You got your IUD out the month before the wedding; because he asked. It wasn’t fun or easy. “Why--” 

“Cold feet? I mean, you leave dishes in the sink, maybe you’re not ready for a kid.” 

Your lashes flutter as your eyes burn. You leave a glass or two in the sink but the place isn’t a sty. You heave and swallow down the hurt. He’s frustrated. That’s it. 

“I’m ready. I’ve been just as ready as you,” you croak. 

“Hm, well, maybe you should book another appointment. Get a referral and figure out what’s wrong with you.” 

“What’s wrong--” 

“There are options. In vitro. Surrogate,” he crosses his arms and leans on the door frame, “I’m not getting any younger. Neither are you.” 

You want to say that it could be him. That you’re not necessarily the problem but you can’t be entirely sure of that. You sniffle, “Andy, I want it just as bad. I understand that it’s hard but you don’t have to be mean.” 

“Cecilia and Mark started trying last year and she’s about to pop,” he retorts. “And Timothy, he’s older than I am and he’s got twins.” 

“Andy,” you plead. “You’re acting like this is some conspiracy.” 

He looks away as if to suggest that’s possible. You stagger with hurt. His mom always accused you of being a gold digger. Does he believe you? He’s the one who told you to quit your job and stay home. 

He clears his throat and his eyes flick over sharply, “almost forgot. Found a cooking course for you. Down at the Elmwood.” 

“A cooking... what?” 

“Mom suggested it. Said it could help with everything. Make it more manageable if you know what you’re doing.” He drops his hands to his hips. 

“But... you like my cooking.” 

“Honey, you cook out of cans and the freezer. It’s something but if we’re going to have a little one, you need to start making more organic meals. Processed foods are awful, especially if you’re going to be breastfeeding,” he girds. 

Your heart sinks even further. You just can’t do anything right. Not since he put that ring on your finger. You’ve let him down in so many ways. You can’t give him a baby, you can’t cook what he likes, and last night he said you were too dry. Not your fault when he doesn’t offer any foreplay. 

“It will be fun too,” he offers. “I’m sure you’ll make some friends. Maybe some who can give you good advice... moms.” 

You restrain the flinch and nod. “Sure, probably will be. I guess... learning new things is good.” 

“Sure it will be, honey,” he shoves away from the wall and comes closer. “Look, it’s not that bad, alright?” He brushes his hand over your hip and along your lower back. He turns you to face him, “we can try again. Before work?” 

He pulls you against him and you have to resist tearing away. You’re not mad. You’re hurt. Why can’t he ever tell you what you do right? 

“Sure,” you run your hands up his white tee shirt. 

“Mm, when’s the last time we were spontaneous?” He purrs as his attitude shifts entirely. “Come on, get on the counter. Just like old times.” 

Your cheeks sear at the memory. When you were his law clerk, it was so exciting. Your little rendezvous, the under the desk fun. Now it’s so much pressure. Now he really feels like your boss. 

He backs you up and you brace the counter. He helps you up and pushes between your knees. You gasp as he steps between them and pulls down the straps of your nightie. A shiver speckles goosebumps across your chest as he bends to bury his face. 

You clasp the back of his head as he fondles one tit in his hand and latches onto the other. He groans as he teethes at you and sucks as he pulls back, stretching your nipple until it pops free. He looks up at you and purrs. 

“You know, when you’re expecting, those are gonna be bigger,” he stands and you hide your disappointment. No foreplay. Again. “I can’t wait.” 

He spreads your knees and pulls you so your pelvis is curled. He pushes down the elastic of his boxers as he slides you closer to the edge. He grabs your shoulder, pushing you back against the mirror as he guides himself along your cunt. 

He growls as he pushes inside of you, rocking until he finds his way in. He grunts and snaps his hips as you whine. It scrapes dryly as you’re unprepared for his suddenness. You brace his forearm and grit down on the pain. 

“You’re dry again,” he snarls and thrusts. 

You rasp, “sorry, I’m trying.” 

You reach down to your clit and he swats your hand away. He snags your wrists and brings them above your head. He pins them to the mirror and rams in harder. You whimper and curl your legs around him. 

“Ah, Andy--” 

“Yeah, you like it, don’t you? Like how big I am?” He pounds into you without patient. “Want me to fill you up, don’t you?” 

You gulp and gasp around his raw intrusion. He squeezes your wrists until your fingers throb and you notice how he watches himself in the mirror, almost entirely unconcerned with your presence. You turn your head down and bite your lip as he uses you. You just need him to get off and then you can go cook him a breakfast he won’t he even like. 

[redjennies]

I brought this up in the comments but the person I was specifically thinking about when I made this post was Steve Bannon. Bannon, for those of you who were too young or not US American enough to remember, was the co-founder of Breitbart News, which is an alt-right "news" website (if you can call it that) that was instrumental to Trump's 2016 victory, particularly in its ability to appeal to a relatively younger demographic of hateful ass white men. for this loyalty, Trump appointed Bannon as his chief strategist. to be quite honest, the way I saw it at the time, the names Trump and Bannon were more closely linked with each other than Trump-Pence. despite this, seven months later, Trump fired him from his position reportedly because Trump was tired of leaks to the media from inside the White House and because he resented Bannon's belief that Trump had only won because of him (which was kind of true.) while their politics stayed aligned and to this day, Bannon is still a massive Trump supporter, Bannon and Trump sniped at each other for awhile for the next few years, and Bannon was, at one point, arrested for mail fraud by mail cops on a day I assume God made for me, personally, before unfortunately, being pardoned by Trump on his last day in office. (okay that last part wasn't super important to the story but I can't not talk about it. what a day.)

fast forward eight years later, and we have Elon Musk, who while not a one-to-one metaphor is also a wealthy, social media owner who appeals to a shitload of hateful young Trump voters and has been rewarded with a spot in the administration for his loyalty during the election. I have absolutely no love for Steve Bannon and truly wish he had spent the rest of his days in mail jail, but he does strike me as 1) probably more competent and professional than Elon Musk and 2) probably more capable of playing the game required to navigate Trump's ego than Elon Musk. this is not to say Bannon was good at those things, but to say I truly believe Elon Musk will be very, very bad at those things and I wouldn't be surprised if he gets removed from his position before the end of the year and because Elon's ego probably won't be able to take the L in the same way Bannon could for what he saw as the good of the MAGA movement, I fully expect the fallout of a potential Musk firing to be absolutely fucking ridiculous.

to anyone who just fucking hates Elon (all of my followers, I'd assume) please take solace in that after taking office in 2017, Trump had a series of falling outs with pretty much everyone he got real buddy-buddy with during the election cycle as soon as they failed him/became inconvenient/etc, and I'm not saying this will happen again, but I'm also saying if it does, I would not be upset to see this spectacularly backfire in Elon's fucking face.

[plantsandpies]

I guess I’m in a posting mood where I post crack posts, theories and takes. I have way more. But I’m talking about descendants right now.

I hate people that hate on mal. NOW, she did do a lot of fucked up stuff. Drugging someone and attempting to erase their memories is wrong. I’m not denying that nor am I excusing her actions.

However, Auradon doesn’t know how to handle mental health. All their people are happy and well adjusted. As far as we know, they all had good parents and happy childhoods.

The isle (at least in the books) had vicious child abuse. Carlos was locked in a room filled with bear traps and had to get furs. Evie obviously grew up with huge insecurities due to her mom’s thing on looks. I think Jay slept on the floor (though out of all of them I think he had the best parent. Not an award because you’re the best of the worst, but whatever). Mal’s mom was constantly manipulating her and controlling her. She created this narrative for mal. Love is evil and weak, people not inviting you is slighting you, you have to be the strongest on the isle, your mother’s daughter. The books went into more detail and it’s been a while since I read the book, so excuse my mis-remembering.

But the isle was not a fun place and aurdon is so, they don’t deal with mental health issues. So none of the vk kids have dealt with that.

So when we start at d2 it’s been six months and they just threw mal into that position. They gave her no time to adjust, put all their stuff on her (blonde hair vs. purple) and just expected her to be okay with it.

Now, a child with a parent that forces them to try and be the best and puts all their worth on impressing people for love (aka mal and her mom’s whole situation) is going to carry that even when realizing their mom sucks. So they put mal into a huge amount of responsibility maybe six months later without any sort of therapy or support system, because the isle kids are messed up and the aurodan kids aren’t so they don’t know how to help. So magic becomes her sort of safety net.

Her friends and Ben obviously love her. That’s true, but from what we’re shown in the beginning of the movie, they aren’t helping with the pressure. Evie is trying to have her give up magic and Ben is giving her gifts and helping the paparazzi but none of them are actually getting to the root cause. No one is helping lift the pressure she’s putting on herself. No one seems to even notice that that’s the problem.

Mal is trying so hard to be perfect and what everyone wants her to be, so she’s using spells to help her. She wants them to know she’s trying and she wants to love her. She might know they do, but it’s unconscious at this point. She was sixteen in the first movie. So she’s like seventeen. This is something in her mind, ingrained for sixteen years. They gave her less than six months to undo that herself.

Obviously her actions are not justified or right, but saying she’s evil and awful when what happened was a very traumatized teenager who was shoved into responsibility she wasn’t ready for, snapped, is also wrong. She’s not right, but her snapping was inevitable. This entire thing could’ve been solved had her friends and loved ones talked things out with her. If they could see the stress before it boiled over. Maybe it was because of it being a movie but her stress wasn’t really hidden. Maybe from Ben, but from Evie? This could’ve been solved had they intervened or had aurodan grew a brain and realized villain kids aren’t evil but they sure are messed up.

[vaguely-concerned]

do you think ingellvar -- raised by well-meaning but largely clueless about child development academics -- probably has a decent shot at understanding taash' position better than they maybe realize

[moeblob]

Rey, who is in my very biased opinion, one of the funniest "girls" I have because she's just a guy, truly. Like Rey is just short for Reynold because he was recruited by a a goddess to help the hero she selected and the hero is conveniently Reynold's younger brother. So he agrees to help under the condition that the goddess gives him a female body for the other world. She's like "really odd flex but whatever" and gives him a female form and he's like "you know. I can't really blame anyone but myself for not specifying 'please don't turn me into a Lisa Frank personification'."

[notgreengardens]

are there by now parent-child relationships where the teenager is like "stop pushing harry potter on me, mom, it's like the lamest and uncoolest book ever" and then the mom has to hold back tears while saying "ginevra minerva hermoine, we did not raise you to be such a slytherin" and then the child says "whatever, mom" and goes back to playing roblox while the mother has to think about how happy she and her husband thought her daughter would be to get some overpriced tickets for her birthday to go with them to a 4 hour show where an orchestra plays the harry potter soundtrack and they already got their hogwarts robes ready but apparently her sweet sweet hufflepuff daughter turned to the dark side just like her brother who doesn't even want to be called by his name anymore so she has tried her best to only call him by short nicknames like "sev" but he still thinks his name is "so cringe, mom, why couldn't you give me a normal name like nick or something".

Is this a thing. I hope teenagers think harry potter is the lamest millenial shit ever.

[amelikos]

Amethio taking after Gibeon's strong will and inability to ever give up.

[website-com]

recently someone on tiktok said 'hey lets comment on random thirst traps and say 'you look just like a character from x movie!' (i forgot the name, the original one had one). like as a fun joke to invent a fake movie from the 80s.

i dont need to point out the obvious comparison here (it was far less organised because it was more about pranking people than pretending the movie was real), but it turned out to be a MARKETING STRATEGY for someones album.

[hertwood]

btw is this a safe space to finally admit i do have a crush on a coworker a lil bit

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

The rescent riots in the UK are despicable (but sadly not surprising).

Yes, what happened to those little girls is a tradgey, but the person who was responsible wasn't an asylum seeker, and even if he was, that would NOT excuse the racism displayed these past few weeks.

The people taking part clearly don't care about the safety of children as they're, scaring other people's & indoctrinationating their own into perpetuating racist acts.

Seven years is a lot, though! Then don't fucking join a hate group.

But the non white people are being violent too! Yeah, well, that tends to happen when you attack people. I'm not going to hate on people for standing up for themselves.

They're taking our jobs! Why do you believe that those jobs are YOURS? Are you actually qualified & able to make a good impression on bosses, or do you think just being white should be enough.

They don't work! Well Asylum seekers litrually aren't allowed to until their case gose through but plenty of other POC have jobs (I know you've seen them though it must be hard to make them out through that fog of hatred) & I've met plenty of white people who don't want to (no hate to those who can't because of disability or mental health issues) or loose jobs because they're just overall terrible employees (some of the shit I've seen middle aged white people do at their jobs is crazy).

They're all criminals! Well, that's just not true now is it plus it's been proven multiple times that the biggest factor in crime is poverty, NOT race & again I've encountered plenty of white people who've broken the law yet most didn't seem to get more than a slap on the wrist (if that). Strange, that isn't it?

Well, "those kinds" of men hate women! Ahh, yes, because there's never been white rapists, woman killers, stalkers or harrasers. Its been proven that hating women is a problem in all races & and sadly, the biggest threat to us is usually our own partners or family, not some random aylsum seeker (who if they do hurt women tend to go after the ones from their own community).

They're not from here! Ok, so I don't know if anyone told you, but you can actually be born here without being white and you can't ban people from a country just because of the colour of their skin. Also, neither was half my family, yet we never get told to go back to our own country. Hmm, I wonder if our white skin could possibly have anything to do with that.

They can't speak English! A lot of them are multilingual, actually (& you make fun of their accents) & for the ones who can't well you seem to hate them getting anything (such as English lessons) for free. Also, how many Brits go abroad despite refusing to learn absolutely anything about other countries (there's a reason we're known as disrespectful, violent, sex obsessed, drunks by most of the world).

Also sooner or later we are going to have to accept that a lot of the issues that make immigrants flee their home countries are caused (or at least made worse) by ours & other Western governments.

This country definitely has problems, but we should be taking them up with politicians & their rich mates. Who are the ones actually hording wealth made from the exploitation of the poor, not random people of colour who are just trying to live their lives.

[xcziel]

feeling nostalgic and watching utube reactors discover classic songs and then feeling both old and incredulous

[rutadales]

I think my least favorite thing that happens in fandom spaces is how overly familiar people act towards you. Like whenever I get a post over 200 notes I have people making jokes in the tags that aren't like outright distressing or gross or anything but that just. idk! are jokes I would only make with people I know. Like "fuck you!" or "oh this is awful" or whatever that's done in a joking tone but it's still weird. You don't know me like that

And it's not so much a problem over here because we are so insular as a community so even if I don't know you guys by name or if we don't follow each other I still recognize the person commenting on my stuff. enough to almost certainly recognize the joking tone instantly and for that familiarity there to be warranted. we're not friends but it's like, yeah! I know this person they've been here forever. It's comfortable.

But in larger spaces that casual familiarity is gone. I've literally never interacted with you before. It's like if you overheard a conversation on the street and just walked in and started joking around with them like you knew them. it's uncomfortable!! and like yes obviously I'm looking for interactions when I post and tag things that's the whole point, so it is inherently different than say a private conversation being intruded on but djakfoofjf just don't act like you know someone you've literally never engaged with at all before.

[spicygambles]

I just wanted to say that that anon was very rude.I really love all your artwork you do and I also love your fics,but I know that you're a person and that nobody should be pressuring or making you feel bad about not finishing any fics.People finish their fics in their own time,when and if they want to,and other people should respect that,not belitting the rest of your work.I'm sorry you got that message, but trust me,the rest of the people who view your content,definitely don't feel the same as that anon.

it's ok anon, all things considered it's not the worst anyone can say to me. it's just never pleasant when the words I tell myself constantly comes from another person's mouth so.

Thank you for telling me all those kind words. now I know there's at least one person who likes my stuff for what they are.

[running-in-the-dark]

.

[everymanpdf]

emotionally preparing to go to boyfriends italian family home for thanksgiving where i am the quietest and most offputting person there. last time i was there i swear to god one of his aunts jokingly held her hands over my ears while they yelled at each other lol