#I think that now the poem is readable
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#tfp optimus prime#transformers#transformers prime#Testing why the hell the full post isn't in tags#Who knows? Not staff#-_-#tfp#optimus prime#ARTificial Absinthe#I think that now the poem is readable#once I discover what the hell is the malfunction I'll most likely delete this
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The poem evokes human greatness and human vulnerability. People are โgodlikeโ in their courage and skill, but even the greatest mortals fall and clutch the dust between their bloody fingers. The beautiful wordย minunthadiosย , โshort-lived,โ is used of both Achilles and Hector, and applies to all of us. We die too soon, and there is no adequate recompense for the terrible, inevitable loss of life. Yet through poetry, the words, actions, and feelings of some long-ago brief lives may be remembered even three thousand years later.
--Emily Wilson's introduction to the Iliad
#so. we've come to the Iliad section in my Early World Literature class. and in that context we're utilizing the public domain translation by#A. S. Kline which made me think: you know what would be extremely fucking cool? since I'm going to have access to the Kline text until#the course closes in December. why don't I at least start the Wilson version and see how the two translations differ? so I'm now reading#The Iliad#as translated by Wilson and performed by the utterly masterful Audra McDonald. or well. I _would be except I'm so delighted. stunned. by#the incisive thought-provokingness of her introduction I keep needing to pause and write down various quotes: just this whole idea of#the poem revolving around how all all our deaths shall come too soon and there is no adequate compensation for that awful fact just FUCK#linguistics#mythology#folklore#fairy tales#lit geekery#book babbling#(oh I am already so fucking deep in this fannish hell and I haven't even really started her translation: like the Kline one is fine. but#it's very focused on *trying* to be Homeric you know? so there are all these very archaic references ala to Apollo#as Smintheus. which I then have to stop and look up oh. that means he's the mouse god and being the mouse god is important because#it ties back to him being an oracular god. which is then why the Greeks want to turn to another oracular god when he gets all pissy at them#and on one level. learning that mice were associated with the power of prophecy? extremely cool shit. on the other. well I have to#read a large chunk of this text in a fucking week Kline my good bud was it really necessary to provide an odd mouse reference I then#needed to find the context for *myself* I can already tell Wilson's tendency to provide context. both in the intro and just in general#wanting to make it readable terms will make this so! much easier of an introduction. (Kline. by contrast. would be really fucking cool if#you were a third-time reader and wanted all the marvelous nuance. just *rubs forehead* not a great intro when you're only focusing on#this text for a fucking week)
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Hi! What could be a good english version of The Iliad, like the most faithful translation of it? xx
Hello! I have read the Iliad only in the prototype and modern Greek renditions. So in order to answer this I started with a plain search on the web for the most famous English translations. I see Lattimore (1951) and Fagles (1990) being frequently recommended. I ended up finding however a fantastic post on Reddit by some good soul who decided to analyze in depth all the modern English translations. OP provides the first paragraph of most of these translations in order to back their commentary. As a result I was able to read them as well. So I will add the link to their post in the end of my answer but in the meantime I decided to also provide my own opinion alongside theirs. Granted, my evaluation is based only on the first paragraph but we know writers and translators strive for the best in the opening paragraph so hopefully my conclusions will be more or less safe. Let alone that the opening paragraph of the Iliad is famous, itโs the invocation of the Muse, so certainly the translators were trying their best. Please note I am only judging the translations for which OP provides the first paragraph.
Lattimore (1951)
Deviations counted: 3
Style: poetry
Other notes: A little difficult to read but there is something old-school about it I like. Despite its deviations, it tried to keep other elements most other translators failed to.
Reddit OP opinion: They did not like Lattimore, they think heโs overrated.
Fitzgerald (1974)
Deviations counted: 8
Style: poetry
Other notes: God forbid.
Reddit OP opinion: They like it but admit itโs not very faithful to Homer.
Hammond (1987)
Deviations counted: 3
Style: prose
Other notes: It sounds more humble than Lattimoreโs pompous translation, however it is easy and readable without deviating much from the original.
Reddit OP opinion: We agree.
Fagles (1990)
Deviations counted: 7
Style: poetry
Other notes: Why is this one of the two most popular translations? If you have to pick one of the two all time classics, I definitely recommend Lattimore between the two. But my favourite so far remains Hammond.
Reddit OP opinion: They reject this for the same reasons as they did with Fitzgerald.
Murray & Wyatt (1999, latest revision, 1924, original)
Deviations counted: 7 (fewer in the original)
Style: prose
Other notes: OP provides the original version and some older revisions and they are significantly better than what you will likely find in stores now. The original is in an older style of English.
Reddit OP opinion: That was the point they were making: unnecessary revisions for the worse. They say the old version is out of copyright so maybe you can find that one.
Merrill (2007)
Deviations: 8
Style: poetry
Other notes: Itโs poetic but not beautiful enough and certainly not very faithful to the original.
Reddit OP opinion: Somehow they seem to like the opening paragraph but then makes notes similar to mine regarding the rest of the poem - Iโd argue itโs evident from the very beginning.
Kline (2009)
Deviations: 6 (7-1)
Style: prose
Other notes: I removed one penalty as a bonus for being the only one so far to translate the โfor thus was the will of Zeus brought to fulfilmentโ line decently. Overall decent, the deviations arenโt too annoying.
Reddit OP opinion: They consider it average - not too good or too bad - and they say it is free to read online. Both they and I prefer Hammond still.
Verity (2010)
Deviations: 6
Style: prose pretending to be verse
Other notes: Interestingly, Verity deviates in easier lines and nails the ones nobody did.
Reddit OP opinion: They love this one.
McCrorie (2012)
Deviations: 5
Style: poetry
Other notes: He goes for an epic style and I do not dislike it. He uses unusual English versions of the characters names though (ie Akhilleus, Aides). I donโt mind but it could confuse you.
Reddit OP opinion: They say their rendition overall is inconsistent and claim some of their choices sound bad in English. I did not really find the examples they gave problematic or bad, but maybe it is because in Greek those sentences sound better and McCrorie was going for a Greek voice, which is why it did not feel jarring to me like to the OP. We disagree in this one. I still prefer Hammond though.
Green (2015)
Deviations: 4
Style: poetry
Other notes: It is pretty faithful but I canโt say I find anything impressive about it.
Reddit OP opinion: They love it.
Alexander (2015)
Deviations: 3
Style: poetry
Other notes: She gives a very loyal translation, however lacks a bit in style, it is a little plain for poetry.
Reddit OP opinion: They like it a lot.
Nurcombe (2020)
Deviations: 6
Style: poetry
Other notes: Nothing particular to remark.
Reddit OP opinion: They find it a loyal translation (which maybe it is, because the deviations are six yet not very significant) but think itโs lacking in its poetry. Maybe this is why I found it unremarkable.
Wilson (2023)
Deviations: 9
Style: poetry
Other notes: We Greeks have talked before about Wilson taking too many liberties and her translation of the first paragraph proves it once more. She adds stuff of her own in there.
Reddit OP opinion: They comment on the loose translation but overall like her style of poetry.
In conclusion, my opinion is:
If you want easy, very readable and accurate prose, pick Hammond.
If you want accuracy and one of the all time classics and donโt mind the occasionally challenging poetic read, pick Lattimore.
If your main concern is accuracy and can go for older, harder, more epic sounding prose, try to find the original Murray or at least one of the old revisions but skip the most recent ones.
If you donโt mind a hard poetic read, maybe even odd in English (as stated by the English reader) because it attempts to get close to the Greek poetic voice, even at a paradoxical occasional expense of word for word accuracy, give McCrorie a shot. I donโt know if this made any sense lol I mean that even when he is not extremely loyal word after word, there is a feel of attempted Greek voice throughout his text. In other words, if you want a wildcard, give it a shot. But it could be alienating to an English reader, I donโt know.
Having said all that, again, I could only judge from the first paragraph and some notes by the Reddit OP. I am adding now their in-depth analysis. OPโs favourite for fidelity and style was Green.
Of course, if someone here is fluent in Greek and well acquainted with the English translations, please help us out.
#greece#Homer#Iliad#Homeric epics#classics#classical studies#translations of greek#link#anon#ask#long text#tw long text
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Infatuation
A Black Out Poem for GOetry Monday , prompt by @isiaiowin
(see below for better readability)
I shall confess
Let me be rightly understood
We have been intended
for each other
When the wishes of both
is their marriage
Every feeling says
he was destined for me
Against all
Despised by everyone
Our alliance will never even be mentioned
Happiness
Gratitude
Silence
The text is from Jane Austenโs Pride and Prejudice, itโs the scene where Elizabeth and Lady Catherine de Bourgh (Darcyโs aunt) have a fight. I thought it might be ample source of interesting words and phrases, and it is! Hereโs the full text on gutenberg.org .
First I thought I was writing Crowleyโs POV, but now I think itโs more Aziraphaleโs.
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I really do hope Sunday joins the Nameless. I think putting him on that train would help him heal from Everything
Also I wanna see him get involved in the Trailblaze Trio's shenanigans so bad
I agree! I really think he'd get along with Dan Heng, also I don't think March would give him a moment of peace either which would be so funny to watch lol I need to see her call him every single day of the week apart from Sunday
I have a lot of new thoughts about Astral Express Sunday that I want to put into a big post, but I also haven't had the time to as of yet because of work
To be brief about how I feel, I've been thinking about it a whole lot and one of the things I love most is how the members of the Express are reborn in a way which ties very well into Sunday's character.
Dan Heng doesn't want to be associated with the actions of his prior incarnation and is following a new path with the crew, March 7th doesn't know her past but is happy to travel with the express and live as she is now learning more about herself along the way, Welt comes from another world entirely and is now treading a new path in his current universe, the Trailblazer has had their memories wiped by Kafka and are discovering themselves aboard the Express, and Himeko started this all by paving the way for members of the Express to move forward via fixing the train. Sunday moving forward from his past and joining the Express really fits in with the crew, and even Dan Heng himself told him not to be shackled by the past, something he would really understand
Also the 'you have a noble soul...' ;_;
Sunday can't go back to the way things were prior to the Penacony storyline, that's over. His entire life has changed. The life he lived before is gone. He has no option but to move forward towards a new future which is exactly what he can do with the Express.
Robin has been able to travel to other planets, meet a wide array of people and form her view on the world based on those experiences. It's one reason why they have such differing viewpoints. Meanwhile, Sunday has been caged in the Dreamscape, rarely venturing into reality (as we see Robin encouraging him to please spend more time in reality in one of her letters) and the only views he was exposed to since childhood were that of Gopher Wood who had a vested interest in shoving the teachings of Order on him the moment he noticed his uncertainty, his kindness and his hatred of suffering, and pinpointed this as a weakness. This is especially evident when Sunday says, about the Dove, that he wants the bird to live 'no matter what'.
Joining the Express would give Sunday the chance to really experience reality. It fits into the idea of him being the bird that can't fly - what better way to spread his wings than with them? With how his reply to Robin saying they were meant to fly into the sky together was 'If only... I could...' him joining the crew would make me actually cry like a fucking baby lol
It would give him the chance to travel to various worlds just as Robin has, to meet different people with different perspectives on life, and then decide for himself what he believes based on his own life experiences and not on the grooming of his adoptive father. If it is a Paradise he wishes for, and he says he still wants to achieve that goal at the end of 2.3, then maybe he'll find one in travelling to help others.
I still really believe that the Death of a Crow readable is from Elio about Sunday, however knowing that Elio and the rest of the Hunters try to aid the Express, and with Firefly calling them the dark to the Astral Express's light, I wouldn't be surprised if the poem itself was about Sunday joining the Astral Express instead of the Stellaron Hunters. Elio's aim is to support the Express, so him pushing Sunday towards joining the Express would be in line with the Stellaron Hunters and what they've always done throughout the story - provided us with their help.
Sunday has had rebirth themes around him for such a long time now that him totally changing outfit and walking a new path to travel the stars when he's only ever been stuck in the Dreamscape, now being able to create a new life for himself, would be very fitting. Sunday's lightcone animation has him saying 'the end is also the beginning', along with the description for his sticker which also points towards rebirth.
ALSO the whole fallen angel rebirth thing, etcetera etcetera, right down to Jade offering him a deal that's super comparable to the forbidden fruit, but that's pretty clear, yet I thought I'd throw it in there
In my opinion, the Astral Express would welcome him. They thought he was trying to resurrect Ena at first, but they then realised he wanted to create a world without suffering. He was also willing to listen to what the Astral Express had to say, and I really think he would welcome them challenging his views. I do believe they'd welcome him with open arms, as someone who is willing to move on from his past.
Also Sunday talks about the Trailblaze like this
So there's that too
I... really want this to happen lol. And I'm so happy current leaks point very strongly towards it
#okay this was a much longer answer than i was expecting to write i am so sorry#hsr theory#hsr leaks
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Hi, can we have the diaboy's handwriting?
Hi Love,
Totally, this sounds so cool. For more explanation of if cursive is old or not you can refer to the comments.โบ๏ธ๐
-Liannelara
P.S. For fun here is admins hand writing
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Prompt
Requests are open
Rules
Warning:
*certain words have been/may be censored for Tumblr guidelines.
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The Diaboys Handwriting hcs
Sakamaki
Shu
Fancy and kinda dark academia aesthetic but is definitely not readable to most of us.
It's in cursive of course cause he's archaic.
And he's pretty lazy, he like barely holds his pen.
He mostly writes in Latin that way none of his brothers understand but sometimes he writes in his demon language.
Although with all the tech now he literally does the voice audio type or anything he needs to write down.
It's so rare to see this lazy ass with a pencil in his hand lol.
Reiji
Its crazy but in cursive it is beautiful, like great penmanship.
But in print, Reiji shows a completely different side of himself.
He never writes in print because he finds that people may think he's vulnerable.
Reiji only writes his most personal thoughts in print and its because he never shares with anyone and can't be himself except for on paper.
So only sadness and angry are written in print.
It is canon that he once held a diary when he was younger so it wouldn't be surprising if he writes his feelings in print. I mean he's stressed.
If he had a lover he writes in print because he wants her to know this side.
Cursive is what he uses when he's doing chemistry or a grocery list.
Laito
The left is how he writes in his demon language its more secretive and mysterious. He hardly uses it tbh.
The writing on the right is usual, normal print/cursive writing.
It's not super fancy or plain.
It is plain but with a little flare.
His writing is pretty neat and clean.
Although he doesn't write a lot he does like to write about his sexual escapades.
Kanato
He alternates between the two.
The left is when he is more focused and maybe upset. But not mad.
If he was mad, he'd write everything in caps.
Although the right is when he is calm since it's cursive.
He uses both interchangeably tho.
What's actually nice about his handwriting is not that it's simple or because it's bold or small. It's what Kanato writes.
I seriously think he writes poems and he is really good at it.
I mean any girl could fall in love with how this man writes, especially if he writes about you.
And he has such a nice voice when he talks about his lover/love interest.
Ayato
It's a mess, he prefers to type.
He makes spelling and grammar mistakes all the time but he uses a pen.
He literally cannot read his writing sometimes and asks Reiji if he knows and his brother just gets really mad at him.
He crosses out so much stuff.
And he writes in any spot.
He doesn't stay on the line, the letters are everywhere.
It's super plain and he never writes in cursive because he literally does know what is the top or bottom of the paper after writing it.
Subaru
Very messy and always in ink.
There are so many scribbles and ink smudges.
He always writes in print because his cursive is unreadable.
He doesn't stay on the lines, his writing moves up and down.
It's very careless and free.
He writes very big.
And has a hard time reading his handwriting sometimes.
Kino
Different and kinda neat but has a lot of crossed-out parts.
Sometimes capitalizes things for no reason.
He can write in cursive but wouldn't choose to.
Although his writing style is unique considering the font.
He is also part of the ink-only squad.
He also likes to abbreviate a lot of stuff.
Is able to keep his writing in a steady line for the most part.
Mukami
Ruki
If he's presenting it's neat, if its for his own things its sloppier.
But still, no soul has ever been able to read it.
He does it on purpose.
Kou has always wondered what it says but he's never been able to tell if it's even in English or in the demon language. Like he has no clue.
Ruki does this in case something thinks about snooping.
He probably does write in his free time, and honestly, he writes a lot. I bet he has so many journals that are filled over the years about his life as a vampire.
So it's hundreds of years of the world all in these books of his.
It's honestly fascinating but no one can read them.
Though if he had a lover he may open up to them about it and share what is in there.
But he might be a tease and lie about what's in there to get her to laugh and throw a pillow at her.
Kou
Okay now although the content at the end of this letter (left) is yandere that's not the point.
I seriously feel he writes in a bunch of fonts and caps/lowercase just cause he's everywhere.
And this is usually how he writes to his fans because they think it "cute"
The right shows his usual handwriting tbh.
It takes a second or two to understand.
But it's not too bad.
He hardly uses his handwriting for anything tho.
Puts hearts on "I"s
Yuma
Messy, always messy.
He is just so sloppy.
You'd think that because he has good hands in a garden he'd have nice handwriting, but you're wrong.
He connects letters with each other, and he has spaces, eraser smudges, and even crossed-out words.
Although his paper is not clean and you can read the writing, well for the most part.
He does have a nice signature though.
Azusa
He has really neat handwriting.
Like it's easy to read, it's neat, and it's not super big.
But there's only one problem.
His papers are always ripped or crumbled, torn, worn out, or have watermarks.
Like there isn't one time where the paper is nice.
He seems like he doesn't know how to do cursive or rather he forgets.
He probably writes relatively small.
Tsukinami
Carla
Fancy cursive and then regular cursive.
He's never used print in his entire 3,000+ years lol.
If he is writing a very formal letter to someone important he uses the writing on the left.
If he is writing for himself or to his brother he uses the writing on the right.
Either way, no one can deny that he has good penmanship.
His signature is also really elegant.
He has his own signature style in cursive.
Something most cannot do.
Shin
Like his brother it is in cursive and very fancy.
The left is how he writes in a more formal setting because it is easier to read.
He always writes really neatly surprisingly, it's the founder prince in him.
It's always in a steady line too, you'd think he'd measure where he wanted to put the handwriting.
The right is his more loose and less legible writing. He uses this if his letter is informal and it is to someone he is comfortable with or has known for a while.
He doesn't really write in print unless its for school and he wants to blend in.
Because he's supposed to be a British exchange student it doesn't surprise me if most of his notes are in shorthand.
I think once he learned that no one uses cursive he decided to not use it that much and stuck to print.
Which probably looks something like this.
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
หหห ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐ค๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ก ๐ผ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก ๐๐ค๐ ๐กโ๐ ๐โ๐๐๐๐๐ก๐๐๐ หหห ยฉ๐๐๐๐~Present
#diabolik lovers#diabolik lovers headcanons#anime#anime requests#anime headcanons#diaboys#dialovers#diahell#diabolik brothers#shu sakamaki#shuu sakamaki#reiji sakamaki#laito sakamaki#kanato sakamaki#ayato sakamaki#kino sakamaki#ruki mukami#kou mukami#yuma mukami#azusa mukami#carla tsukinami#shin tsukinami
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Tagged byย @doonarose!
How many works do you have on ao3?
60
53 are works solely by myself.
2 are large group collabs
5 are podfics.
Whatโs your total ao3 word count?
364322
250802 is soley mine (6351 in group collabs)
What fandoms do you write for?
Currently Good Omens.
Previouslyย
Buffy, Naruto, Bleach, Sherlock, Harry Potter, LoTR, The Originals, Star Wars. A bunch of other anime series :D
Top five fics by kudos:
Of comforts and Rituals - The Originals fanfic Klaus/Elijah. Feat hair washing - the most intimate thing a couple can do!
Sweet dreams - companion fic for vavoom-sorted comic. Feat unconscious Crowley and his sub conscious insecurities.
A Tricky Situation - Human AU written for the vday exchange. Feat professor's Crowley and Fell. They don't immediately take to one another.ย
Oh! My! What a situation - unrelated to above :D. Aziraphale is dropping hints Crowley is not picking up. Feat tartziraphale. My favourite *ziraphale.
It's a ~*DEMON DICK DOWN*~ - Aziraphale attends a summoning gone wrong. Does what it says on the tin. Feat large shouty Crowley.
Do you respond to comments?
Yes!
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Publishedโฆ
Toss up betweenย
Bad habits - a Lucicrow fic. Crowley has an arrangement with Lucifer that means he doesn't have to face the fact he can't have Aziraphale.
or
Going down in flames - Crowley takes over hell. And not in a cool destroy it from within way.
Unpublishedโฆ. I currently refer to it as โsad ficโ. Human AU. A look back over their life from Az's perspective.
Do you get hate on fics?
Nope not really. Couple odd comments about tagsโฆ.
Do you write smut?
Hahahahahahahahaha.
Craziest crossover:
Never done cross overs.ย
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I am aware of.ย
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I'm having one translated right now :D
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I've worked on a few group projects and am currently co writing a couple things. Nothing before that though, so these will be my firsts :)
All time favorite ship?
God lord
ย How tf can one chose ?
Probably Tony/Steve from MCU
I worked my way diligently through every E rated complete fic on AO3 and read virtually all of them!
Whatโs a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I have a couple Naruto ones I will never finish. But I don't particularly want to. So that's fine.ย
Want to but doubtโฆ? Honestly I'm a bit worried about sad fic at this point !
What are your writing strengths?
Hmmm, dialogue?
I also seem to be able to just write if I have to as well.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Honestly my attention span. I'm impatient and get bored and want things to hurry along and it shows :D
Total lack of reasearch into anything. ^^;;
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
Odd word here or there is fine, if I have to go google entire phrases or consult with footnotes to get important bits of the story....bit annoying.
First fandom you wrote in?
Buffy would be the first published by date but I THINK the first thing I actually wrote was a poem for an obscureish anime called Loveless. They are all still perfectly readable on FFNET because I'm terrible at tidying up myself when I leave :D
Favorite fic youโve written?
uuugghhhhhh, thats like asking me who my favourite kid is! I'm going with Validation. Because it was the first thing not smut I wrote and where I tried out a different type of writing. It's entirely Crowley POV and more of a character study re his fall. I put a lot into it ^_^
tagging blah blah blah blah : @wingsofopal @theonewiththeshippinggoogles @thenerdalert @fuzzygoblin
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Storytime
When I was child,
books were my friends,
those readable tales
whose ends never end
just open the page
and turn back the story,
and relive those moments
in all of their glory
no power is needed,
no internet link,
just light for the pages
and time for to think
no wifi required,
subscription or plan,
just two fingers turning
the pages by hand
no fears of rejection,
no bullies to flee,
just stories, a chair,
some hot chocolate, and me
but now when I look
at the life that I lead,
no time to buy books
or to kick back and to read
I wonder if being
alone was a curse,
for I now have the world,
but the world is much worse
so maybe Iโll finish
this poem right here,
and cancel the rest of
my day without fear
just grab me some cushions
and build me a fort,
and climb in and read
for this life is too short
-GeorgeFilip
#poetrythreesixfive#poem#poetry#georgefilip#spilledink#poetryportal#poetsandwriters#poetsontumbler#spilledwords#deepthoughts#books#stories#i love books#storytime#childhood#memories#simple life
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It just makes so much sense that you were writing in 2013, you have the unhinged vibe that the golden fics from that era had.
I'm just here to compliment you really lol, mostly because I am giving a try to write a lil something for the first time and god I can only dream of ever being able to write as good as you. I've been writing poems and music for years now but i find writing actual coherent storys with characters and dialogue so so hard.
I was wondering if you have any tips, or like little rules you follow when you write.
all the love, xxx
๐ท
I'M GONNA CRYYYY this was the sweetest thing in the world to wake up to wtf wtf <333 thank you SO much, i really appreciate this wahh my heart :'))) but also you are SILLY. don't compare yourself to others!! if we all did that constantly we'd never get anything written!! there are SO many authors i adore on here that will always have me chasing the "i wish i could write like that" feeling and it's a great motivator but alsooo at the end of the day. you gotta fall in love with your own words and characters and stories <33
and i feel that so much!! we are twinsss, i also started out writing poems and music and then realized i had stories i wanted to tell that wouldn't fit in shorter form, then discovered fanfic in middle school in the early '10s and it was all downhill from there LOL. truly such a golden era tho oh my god. growing up reading the hat fic and borderline illegible wattpad stories was certainly... formative!
yapping ahead vv (i don't have much advice bc i'm still just learning as i go but hopefully some stuff i picked up on can be a bit helpful!)
i have zero method to the madness when writing so it's a relief to know it doesn't come off that way LOL but i do have a few little things that i follow and i always look for them when betaโing as well! they're pretty small technical things and they're generally up to personal preference, but some of them come from authors i admire and i think they can really take anyone's writing up a notch <3
i don't feel qualified to give advice because i'm just rawโdogging everything lmao i've never taken classes or anything, so take all this yapping with a grain of salt bc it's just what's worked for me!
โ i try to use descriptors like "the man" or "the blond" or "his friend" etc sparingly. i wish i could remember the source, but i read a great piece about why it's better to just go with the character's name 99% of the time, and then i went through so many of my works to edit them and i felt so much more confident in my writing afterwardsโ it made a big difference in readability (imo).
ofc there are exceptions, like if the name of a character is unknown, or if there are too many names being thrown around in one sentence and a "the man" or "the soldier" etc just sits nicer. i definitely still use them occasionally! but it does sometimes put some distance between the reader and the story when those descriptors are used too often instead of names, so it's a good thing to keep an eye out for when it comes to flow. sometimes less or more or whateva ??
โ sorta on the topic of less is more, i love challenging myself to show vs tell when i can! whether it's by keeping dialogue short and letting actions speak instead (can add to intimacy/realismโ we communicate so much through body language yk), through metaphors (literally how my whole '#john egan is dog coded' fic was born LOL), or describing feelings rather than spelling them out (his heart ached vs he was sad, his pulse raced vs he was scared, you get the gist). you said you've been writing poems so i feel like stuff like that would already probably come easily to you tho! <3
โ this guide on ao3 is great for smut writers! whether someone's a beginner or just looking for ways to elevate the filth, i found it really helpful, it's a fun read as well lol. it calls out stereotypes/cliches and teaches you how to reword them, gives lists of slang and reactionary words, do's and don't's, etc. i don't follow everything in it but that's the beauty of writing; we all have things that work for us and things that don't and that's so okay. :-)
โ in the same way that artists use references to practice and find their style, you can do that with writing too! i know a lot of writers have a doc or note where they jot down stylistic things they find while reading that they'd like to emanate, or words they want to use, specific phrases, descriptors, etc. if i'm reading a fic and find an auditory descriptor i like, i might take note of it, stuff like that. sorta like a text document version of a pinterest board!
โ thesaurus.com is my best friend truly. often going with the 'simplest' version of a word makes for smoothest reading so someone isn't taken out of the story being like wtf does that word mean lol but sometimes things can feel repetitive, or like there just needs to be a little bit more spice; i probs go back and forth btwn my doc and thesaurus a dozen times an hour tbh.
that's all i can think of rn and ik those are pretty basic so i'm sorry about that!! i really do just kinda write what evokes emotions in myself, and then i hit post and hope it translates over to whoever is reading too :') drawing from your own experiences if you can/really sitting with what the characters would be feeling in whatever scenario you're writing is probably the most powerful way to present what you see in your mind.
i have a hard time writing about emotions/things i haven't personally experienced, so i usually stray away from it out of fear of not getting across what i want to, but some people are great at winging it and putting themselves in unfamiliar shoes so!! it's again just personal preference really.
and alsooo be kind to yourself! i'm an anxious wreck every time i post any of my writing, i am very much not confident when posting new fics and i agonize over my docs so much and trash a lot of works, but i know at the end of the day i can't grow or learn if i don't get the words down, and i can't get feedback or gain confidence if i don't post. becoming your own hype man and giving yourself the opportunity to improve is essential <33
sooo much love and best of luck!!! lmk if you end up writing smth, i'd love to read it (โ โฟโ โฟ)
#also tentatively offering beta services to mota/sb moots bc i love helping w fics <33 hmu#if i am not super busy i am SAT#this got so long WHOOPS so sorry anon#johnslittlespoon asks#johnslittlespoon yaps
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Writer 20 Questions
I was tagged by @stephmcx and @itwoodbeprefect back when trilobites roamed the earth. Um, sorry?
How many works do you have on A03? Actually, Iโm mostly on Dreamwidth so:
Dreamwidth ~150 fics
AO3 is 59 fics
What's your total AO3 word count?
DW is 1,012,997
A03 is 404,628
note: I donโt keep an exact track of my separate poetry journal but there are 947 poemsโso I am guessing thatโs another 75,000 words๐
What fandoms do you write for? Currently? Steve and Danny from Hawaii Five-0 have stolen both my heart and my muse!
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
* Care and Feeding of a SuperSEAL
* Trusses of my Heart
* A Bodyguard for Christmas
* The Long Road Home (Broken Road on DW)
* Five Times Steve was an Idiot, but Danny Kissed Him Anyway
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do respond to comments, but in a completely random and haphazard way because I am incable of being organized๐
What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My H50 comment fic โAngerโ is definitely my most angsty ending. And yes, itโs yet another fic I need to cross-post to A03โฆ
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Itโs a toss up between Care and Feeding and Bodyguard. I love happy ever afters!
Do you get hate on fics? Not on my fics per se, but I called out some people who were bullying a friend of mine in another fandomโand they decided to repost all my fics on other sites to punish me for speaking up. So, now all my fic is on Dreamwidth and friend-locked. I am slowly cross-post H50 fic to A03, but I doubt I will ever cross-post fic from that other fandom.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I will write sex if its necessary for the story, but porn is definitely one of my weak spots as a writer.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Occaisonally. I wrote an Addams FamilyxAvengers that was very short and very silly๐
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, many. At least I am really good at writing DMCA letters now?
Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, but I had few pod-ficced ages and ages ago.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? I used to co-write regularly, but my co-writers all got super busy๐ญ
What's your all-time favorite ship? I think McDanno has ruined me for all other ships.
What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have a X-MenxSupernatural fic that my co-writer had to abandon.
What are your writing strengths?I love to world build and have been told my AUs are very believable. Even when I do really crazy stuff, like **checks notes** space spiders.๐
What are your writing weaknesses? Writing sex scenes. Definitely.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
In general, I think writers are still working out how to write fanfic that is easy to read on mobile screens. For example, long paragraphs and conversations between more than three people are sooo much harder to read on a mobile phone.
Heck, Iโve even stopped using italics for dream sequences/flashbacks because itโs just not readable on a small screen. And then thereโs coding. **Sigh** Dreamwidth has updated their coding and now I really need to reformat my entire journal because the changed have made my older fanfic much harder to read.
So when it comes to different languages or dialects, I try to come up with something that will make it easier for my readers, instead of relying on the โproperโ way to do things. I donโt know if Iโm always successful, but I at least make a stab at it. And since I have a fic Iโm currently rewriting that has 13 different languages in it, I definitely spend more time than I want to admit thinking about this problem! ๐ฅต๐คช
First fandom you wrote for? Duran Duran bandom. Yes, I just dated myself๐๐๐
Favorite fic you've ever written? My fic with the most kudos is Care and Feeding of a Super SEAL. The fic that people are still dming me about is So Let Me Set Your Battlements On Fire over on dreamwidth.
Tagging @cowandcalf @actingcamplibrarian @stellagioia @redgoldblue @bennyokelly and anybody else who wants to play!
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What is it that actually makes a poem good?
I replied to this question earlier on a Facebook page I follow. The question bounced around in my head a bit, so thought, what the hell, how about elaborating and posting it on my feed?
Below is my "slightly" elaborated reply.
I am trying to learn what makes a poem attractive and readable, of course we are all very different and are drawn to different things, so far this is what I've come up with. I have been doing what I can to keep my poetry simple, really digging deep in to my unused and nearly forgotten repertoire of the English language. The funny thing is I had never really read any poetry until just over a year ago and never planned to become a poet! A very important inspiration of mine pointed out the use of "contronym's" and "synonym's". I did only a tiny bit of research and came up with this...
"Literally my first"! Originally drafted, I think. January 2023.
A synonym, for contronym, well, we can find an example in a statement of regret, words like "penitence" and "repentance", many just would not get.
"Penitence" can sometimes show the humble acceptance of wrong, and "repentance" will hopefully mean change of character wonโt be long.
A contronym itself you see, i say rather excitedly, I'll grab this chance with all my might, and ask of you to play with me.
The english word has many twists, with obscure ambiguity.
Two single words, quite rare they say, pronounced obvers-ely.
To start the first, with no remorse, I bring "apology".
A statement of regret, and defence to walk away, scot-free.
Perhaps when a simple word like "bolt" is used, I'm sure not hard for you to to see, the meaning is so clear for me, as clearly as can be. Secure down something, fixed so tight, is only one example, but can be used to bolt away, to run and then be free.
A third, well this brings a smile, and a saucy thought indeed, it's "bound," and can be seen somewhat conflictingly indeed. To start a journey we will find, the destination in our minds, but once again it can be used, restrict, restrain, holding tightly.
Perhaps with sex still on my mind, of course, considered carefully, to โflogโ, a word with much express, so come and learn with me.
To sell something, to move it on, not wanting anymore, or spank your ass my cheeky girl, our passion evermore.
I reckon this, (my first ever poem) is great but I unfortunately am "bound" by the Lawโs of humility and must leave that up to public opinion, (you). I have done a couple of different drafts as, I am only now at 45 years old old learning the importance of grammar. (If my dad was still about, he would be very embarrassed to hear that statement) so I'm trying to get better. I really like to work in a "hook" like the way Fleetwood Mac completely changes our whole experience when listening to The chain, I naturally stumbled upon this and do my best to work one in some where, with this one it was only one line, can you spot it? I do believe it needs to be easy for others to follow, but most of all it needs to be from the heart. I have been trying to word, my words so the reader can relate as I want to share, to achieve this, it needs to be attractive enough to entice all those hungry wordies in to my very own, unique, and "unschooled-philosophy's".
I would love to have some feedback, so far I have only really had my basic AI app, I think she is simply programmed to flatter my ego!
Looking forward to hopefully hearing from you. ๐ค
Max.
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Mr. President - Mateo x Y/N
(Hiya this is another story that I'm moving over here from my wattpad account)
You're not much of a writer nor a reader,but since you joined this club, that you didn't know included both writing and reading, you set out to write your second assignment , a poem but you wanted to take Satori's advice and use language techniques in order to impress one of the guys in the club.
That guy was the one and only president of the Literature club, Mateo. You couldn't stop thinking about him,his charming ways ,good looks and leadership skills always secretly had a hold on your heart,even though he was like an condescending ass ever since you knew him, you always had a crush on him for the small gestures he did for you like that time he saved you from getting detention.
So you wrote while thinking of him...
The next day at the Literature Club
"Okay I think it's time for us to share our poems today," Mateo announced. Before he could say anything else you run up to him to give him your poem.
"Ah y/n so I take it that you wrote your poem?" He questioned surprised to see how enthusiastic you was to let him read it. You nod excitedly. "I hope it's readable this time," he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes blushing as he take the paper from your hand . His fingers brushing against yours made you feel a tingly sensation inside your cheeks.
Mateo didn't notice your response to any of his normal actions.
Mateo's Mind-" I hope it's not the childish gibberish that that pink hair midget likes, cause I swear it's so easy to tell from writing what some one is thinking about and yesterday she was either really an amateur or was thinking about that manga troll"
You watched as he began to read the poem and his eyes widen and his cheeks are tinted red.
Mateo's Mind-" This couldn't possibly be for me๐ณ could it ? Could she really feel the same way? NoNo I must be overthinking this poem, It must be for that bloody Satori๐ค.."
He reads the poem and you realised he isn't responding.
"Ah Mateo?I'm sorry if you don't like it ," you said slightly disappointed. "I made it for you, to show you how I feel about you," you shyly smiled.
His eyes moves from the paper to meet yours. Now your scared ,he's probably going to make fun of you and the poem. "This is so beautiful y/n ,I can't believe you feel the same way , I appreciate this so much ,May I keep this?" His eyes shine brightly and smile couldn't be missed. You blush wide eyed while agreeing , he grabs your hands ,fingers interlocked and asks, "May I kiss you?". You nod still blushing as his lips gently met yours.
You two totally forgot about the three other members in the classroom, well not really both of you ,Mateo didn't ,He wanted them to see who you belong to.
Those three aren't gonna give up easily, but Mateo will make sure nothing becomes between you and him.
Cause you are his.
Word count (521 words)
Sorry for any more grammatical errors than usual it's 3:06am and my brain is wacked
Goodnightt
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AO3 tag game
Thank you for the tag @apopcornkernel my love kissing u /p
how many works do you have on ao3?
45 right now!
what's your total ao3 word count?
According to my stats page, 781,604! Holy smokes, Batman!
what fandoms do you write for?
Right now, mainly Heathers, but I've also written for Les Misรฉrables, Derry Girls, Monster High, Miraculous Ladybug, Total Drama, Equestria Girls, and Rainbow High, and have posted some original work on AO3 too (mostly poetry).
what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
mArinette (a Miraculous Ladybug easy A AU)
today I woke up wanting to kiss you (plotless Duncney fluff)
Cute Boys With Short Haircuts (Miraculous Ladybug angsty one-sided identity reveal)
Mistlejoke (Miraculous Ladybug christmas fluff)
Waitin' on the Sunrise (shameless fluffy JDonica porn with plot)
do you respond to comments?
I try to lol. Usually I'll respond in batches because executive dysfunction is The Worst
what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ooh, does original poetry count? Because if so, Kathryn, a midlength poem I wrote about Kathryn Howard the fifth wife of Henry VIII who was beheaded between the ages of 17 and 22. Or maybe these are times that canโt be weathered (and we have never been back there since then), a story about a Miraculous OC discovering Hawkmothโs identity.
what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Personally, I think itโs The Dark Gate, part four of my Les Mis Winx Club AU. The happy ending is really earned and needed.
do you get hate on fics?
Not really since I stopped regularly writing for Miraculous Ladybug. Boy, that was a wild experience. The fandom was really big at the time and it was the post-Season 3 salt era, so Opinions were both abundant and poor in quality.
do you write smut? if so, what kind?
Yes indeed! I was born on the run (but Iโll die holding your hand) and Waitinโ on the Sunrise are both JDonica smut fics that I am very very proud of! Theyโreโฆ very fluffy. You know that rule about how you see in fandom the stuff that was missing from the source material? Look, I just want my awful blorbos to be happy. And also to bang a lot.
do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?
Does On Se Sent Comme Par Magie count? Itโs really more fusion fic, itโs the characters of Les Mis living out the plot of Winx Club. Look, it justโฆ it made sense in my head, yโknow?
have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not as far as I know, and I hope it never happens!
have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I did write an English translation of a fic I wrote in my native Scots! Never posted it, though.
have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have tried and miserably failed. I just canโt do it, babes.
what's your all time favourite ship?
Probably JDonica. I justโฆ heโd kill for her?? And he does?? Does it get more chewable than that??
what's a WIP you want to finish but sometimes doubt you ever will?
Oh god I havenโt actually written anything for two months. I need to get back to Waitinโ on the Sunrise, The Last Faery on Earth (Part 5 of OSSCPM), and The Mystery Solvers of Derry (Derry Girls SDMI AU).
what are your writing strengths?
According to my beta reader for OSSCPM, readability, characterisation, and cliffhangers.
what are your writing weaknesses?
Iโm really bad for run-on sentences - itโs not my fault, okay, I started reading Les Mis when I was sixteen and impressionable, and Victor Hugo did a number on my psyche that I doubt will ever be reversed because unfortunately Vicky Huge-ho lives rent-free in my skull and whispers in my ear to just use more semicolons like the whore he is.
thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Iโve written in Scots before, which was fun! I kind of want to do it again, but the Plot Bunnies arenโt cooperating right now.
first fandom you wrote for?
I think. Technically. It was a documentary about Sperm Whales that had a really sad ending that I saw when I was six and I wrote a little book that gave it a happier ending, if that counts? If not, probably Equestria Girls. Although, thank god, my early fic experiments are all stored on a hard drive that will never see the light of day again.
favorite fic you've written?
I was born on the run (but Iโll die holding your hand)!! Fluffy JDonica smut for the win!!
tagging:ย @theladyfae @private-bryan @galahadwilder @swxxtcidxr if yous want to xo
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๐Smoshblr December Asks Day 23๐
What are your top 3 favourite books (/comics/manga/poems/etc...) and/or top 3 you would recommend to others?
Oh, here we go, we're in my house now! (Obligatory "I could never choose just three" disclaimer here)
Microserfs by Douglas Coupland - I love the way Coupland writes, and this is my favorite of his fiction novels. It follows a group of programmers who leave their safe jobs at Microsoft to risk at all for their own start-up. It's funny, sweet, and very nerdy. (Other gems by this author: Generation X; JPOD; The Gum Thief)
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - I'm obsessed with the story of Achilles and Patrocles, and this retelling still far exceeded my expectations. It's beautiful, epic, and impossibly tender. It's the first and only book that's ever made me audibly sob.
Nimona by ND Stevenson - Stevenson started Nimona right here on tumblr, when they were an art student! The comic follows Nimona who wishes to become a villain's henchman, and Ballister Blackheart, the "villain" in question. This comic is full of heart, it's hilarious, and I'm forever in love with Stevenson's art style.
And now, I hope you're warmed up, because I'm about to rec you. (I'm sorry, that's very sexual; forget that part.)
I put recommendations under the cut, please check them out!
ALSO, if you like quizzes, I have a uquiz where I recommend you books based on your answers! You can find it here; and my ask is open if you wanna talk about your result :)
Thank you for asking!
I obviously recommend my three favorites listed in this ask, but I also recognize that they're not for everyone, so here are three others:
If you like comic books and feminist history, I recommend "Brazen: Rebel Ladies Who Rocked the World" by Pรฉnรฉlope Bagieu A collection of short comics about iconic women who have left their mark on the world throughout history. Gorgeous art style, factual history, and a lot of humor. (Translated into over a dozen languages, in case English is not your favorite; I read it in Danish myself)
If you like classics, but not the 'fancy ladies talking about marriage while needlepointing' kind of classic, I recommend "The Three Musketeers" by Alexandre Dumas You're probably at least somewhat familiar, but just in case: The young d'Artagnan goes to Paris to become a musketeer, joining forces with Athos, Porthos, and Aramis in their efforts to take down the corrupt Cardinal Richelieu. The writing style is surprisingly modern, making it more readable than many classics of the time; and it's dramatic, swashbuckler-y, and fun.
If you think horror and comedy go hand in hand, I recommend "John Dies at the End" by Jason Pargin/David Wong John and Dave are slackers all but sleepwalking through life in their small town; until they do a mysterious drug at a house party and gain the ability to see the supernatural. Turns out their sleepy town is chockful of horrific creatures, and now that John and Dave can see them, they're putting up a fight. It's a genuinely funny read, but it also scares the shit out of me. And it's a series! There are 4 books in total, so far; in my opinion, each one is scarier than the one before.
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Beautiful Dreamer.
A Kevin x Fem! Reader.
DISCLAIMER BEFORE WE BEGIN:
1. Y/N is female because of the job she has in this book, since I think if I had made Reader gender neutral in this book, her job would probably bring Male or Trans FTM and NB people great discomfort or dysphoria. And also because I haven't made anything for the girlies in a while. So if your Trans FTM or Male or NB, this book probably isn't for you. But don't worry, I'll make something for the MLM folk who like Kevin someday soon.
2. Y/N has an actual personality in this simply because I didn't want to make her boring. I apologize if you are not like the Y/N in this fic.
3. There won't be any smut in this. Yes, there might be a few suggestive scenes, but no smut. It's only because I'm uncomfortable with writing that shit.
4. This will also be a one-sided/mutual enemies to lovers kinda thing. Not sure which one yet though.
Alright, we good? Alright. Then let's get started.
TWS FOR CHAPTER: NONE.
TWS FOR BOOK SO FAR: GRIEF IMPLICATIONS, PROFANITY, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, ARGUMENTS AND BICKERING, ENEMIES TO LOVERS.
Summary: Y/N meets someone who will change her life forever.
"๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ธ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ.
๐๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ญ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ธ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ด ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฆ."
- ๐๐ต๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ 1: ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
โโโโโโโโโโ
"๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐ถ๐ ๐ด๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฒ; ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ธ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ต; ๐๐ถ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ป , ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐ป๐ผ ๐น๐ถ๐ณ๐ฒ."
- ๐๐ผ๐ต๐ป ๐จ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ธ๐ฒ.
~~~~~~~~~
Y/N had not been the type to ever write poetry, or at least, she did not think so. And yet here she was, with a pencil in between her pale/dark fingers, writing letters and words that came overflowing from her mind. A poet she was not, but perhaps in this moment, she was. Poetry was not a skill she possessed, or at least she didn't think so. And yet here she was, writing away her thoughts anyway.
She observed the thin page that was in the journal she had opened. The journal had been a small, leather-brown book with a cold texture to its cover. A cover it had not had, and yet, despite how difficult it was to write on the cover, Y/N had attempted to label her name on the cover anyway incase of an event where she would lose it. The result was sloppy handwriting that contained her name, and it was barely readable between the textures of dark brown. Still, it was en effort nonetheless.
She sighed, her mind fuzzy and aching with an urge to set down the book and lay on the couch she had sat upon. How could she want to stop now? There was no reason to stop now. Then again, there has been a reason to.. no, no, there had not been. There could not be. She couldn't keep making excuses not to do things simply because procrastination was a bad habit of hers. Bad habits are not excuses to not do things, ever. She knows that so.
Y/N looked down at the page with her E/C eyes, her eyelids fluttering down into a blinking motion as she read her own handwriting.
"๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐บ ๐ช๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ.
๐๐ข๐ณ๐ฎ๐ต๐ฉ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐ฆ.
๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ท๐ฐ๐ช๐ค๐ฆ.
๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ธ๐ข๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฆ๐น๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ.
๐๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ"
She looked down, puzzled by her own writing. This poetry piece had no rhyme, no rhythm. Always, she thought she had been somewhat skilled at things, but for the first time in a while, she felt dissapointed in herself. That wasnt to say she had not been regularly dissapointed in herself though. What was she to write to complete the poem? The poem had no name, and now she couldn't think of what to write in order to complete the poem.
It had been a lousy poem, a useless poem which would bring nothing into the hearts of others. It would bring no meaning, unlike a Shakespeare's play(Like 'Romeo and Juliet' or 'The Hamlet').
Her lips quivered, for she could not bring words into the poem, for she could not bring ideas into her mind. Everything was fine, so why was it that she could not write? Her eyelids shut again for a split second, her eyes glistening with a scrim of moisture. Her breathing became a little faster as she observed her lousy, useless poem one last time. Before she then quickly shut it, and placed it on the couch beside her, crawling over to the other side of the couch so she could grab the remote and find something else to do with her existence.
For a moment, she glanced at an empty light brown chair. The fabric had been soft. It was just a regular chair, where no one had been sitting. It had been a chair for one to sit in, but no one had been sitting there.
...
Wisely, she chose to ignore it, and her eyes locked on the screen of the television set in front of her.
~~~~~~
Drenched sheets of rain poured down in the city, glistening the sidewalks and roads with moisture as cars speeded through the short burst of water which had been the rain. Y/N didn't get rain, or why it happened. Yet she loved it so. And from what it seemed, rain loved her, for rain had been coming more often now for some reason. Nearby dirt had turned to mud, and blades of grass had been completely flooded by pools of water pouring on from above.
Here Y/N had been, an umbrella in her hand and held above her so the trickles of rain would not splash upon her. As much as she loved it, she couldn't really deal with getting wet right now. Anytime she did walk through rain, some people would ask if she were okay and if she needed an umbrella. Yet like always, she'd smile and say it was fine, and that she would be alright. That rain was a regular event for her.
She was dressed in a black jacket, which had a white shirt underneath, along with some blue jeans and some black boots. It hadn't been her usual rain attire, but it was fine nonetheless. She could deal with it. Normally, she'd be so motivated to change into something else for such an event, and yet, she could not. But why?
Did she know the answer? If the answer was what she thought it was, she would not and never know.
As she continued to walk along the sidewalk, she noticed a wilted fire hidden between blades of wet grass on the left side of the sidewalk. For a moment, she couldn't help but slow her pace and stare at it. The flower was wet, but wilted, and it had been near a flower shop of all places. Did it belong to the shop? Would the owner care for it? Why was one of the flowers just so casually dead and yet not taken care of?
She sighed, and continued walking beneath the pouring sheets of moist rain, which she had been protected by due to the cover of her umbrella. The air had been humid, damp and nearly sticky to have to walk through. She felt like she was walking through a lake or something, with how hard it had been to walk while it was raining. And yet, she was not. Lake's had been water though, and rain had also been water, so maybe she technically had been?
No, that was a silly thought.
As she passed by the radiant, glowing yellow light which had been peeking through two square-shaped crevices of windows on a building she payed no attention to, she found her mind becoming more and more fuzzy as her thoughts began to cling to her again. Where was she going? She didn't know. This had merely been a walk. A walk in the rain though? Did she really want to distract herself that badly? But from what?
...
No, it had not been a distraction. It had not been, it could not have been. She just wanted to get out more, that was all. Perhaps she could have chosen a better night rather than a rainy night though.
Y/N then found that her foot had stopped in front of an object which she did not see yet, she nearly tumbled over it actually. She peered down, and blinked in slight surprise.
Her eyebrows raised, and for a moment, she just stared down at what it had been. It had been what looked to be a doll with cracks on random parts of its body. The cracks had almost resembled spider webs, from how it looked anyway. There had been two cracks on its left cheek, one crack one its right eye which had no pupil, and a singular crack on its neck.
Curiously, she bent down, and picked it up, furrowing her brows. "Sheesh.." She mumbles to herself, a disgusted scowl filling her gaze. "What an ugly doll.." She comments, observing its dirty orange clothes and its blue hand-made overalls with a disturbed glance.
She then peered to the side of her, which had been the building she had at first layed no attention to. She looked up, and saw the sign on the building which had simply read "Candy-Club". She looked ahead, and observed the white entrance with had several yellow stripes stretched out across it.
The door had not been open, and yet, she could make out a singular figure inside. Y/N wasn't one to normally investigate things, but perhaps she could see if maybe someone dropped it while they had been visiting this building? The building appeared to be a candy store, due to its candy-themed decorations. So perhaps it belonged to a child who maybe dropped it while exiting the store? But why had no staff member done anything? Why had they not said a word to the child, if it had been a child?
She let out a small breath of exhaustion, and began to walk foward toward the door. She felt the rain ceasing from on top of the umbrella as she stepped below the entrance. She twisted the doorknob, and carefully creaked the door open, not wanting to make too much noise. Blinding, bright lights had filled her vision as she stepped inside and heard the faint buzzing of the lights above her.
As she glanced up and squinted, she saw two half-lidded, exhausted eyes which had be staring back at her with a hint of exhaustion held inside.
A forced and tired, almost sarcastic-sounding, baritone male voice spoke to her. A voice that belonged to the figure who was the source of the eyes she had been staring at for a few moments:
"Welcome to the Candy-Club, miss. How can I help you?"
////////////////////////
Holy shit I put a lot of effort into this for no reason.
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Stars and apathy
Masturbating in an rv Fucking the table leg
Fingers and face in cake
Writing out of a fog. I started a few short story ideas and I don't know, maybe they'll sprawl into some sort of controllable mess that I can work into something readable. I borrow from dreams. I pull poems into dialogue. I've been thinking about this idea of a garden for a while now. It's sullied but recoverable. I think. Fallen garden state. Is that another name for new jersey. I bet so. Pretty in the northwest, it's not at all like newark
Life feels so real I could touch it, whatever it chooses to be now
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