#I think it would fix everything probably
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what if megumi and yuuji kissed
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a bit of my postcanon vision
i heart people arguing
#hfjone#bryce hansen#amelia euler#my art#i have beef with post-canon one stuff that just insta-fixes everything without really hashing out how some of these people could#get horrifically angry at each other... not that i think their relationships can or should be ruined forever i would just like to explore#how badly the boys treated amelia IF YOU THINK ABOUUUTT ITTTTTT#sure stone was the one to intentionally exclude her from the team but bryce+liam dont really do much to actually bring her in the loop#even when liam had months and months to tell her. he simply didnt tell her at any point what stone said about the votes being fake#and i dont knowwww i want to see amelia's tendency to lose herself in really maladaptive acceptance butt up against bryce and his like...#eagerness to leave everything behind. You understand me. you get it. anyway i have a few thousand words kicking around that will probably#never be finished or published but trust me I THINK ABOUT IT. A LOT
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I have a DP x DC AU brainworm about Danny and Tim being long lost siblings (twins or otherwise).
Because both of them have faced evil future versions of themselves who've almost ended the world in some way through altering time. If Clockwork had been watching Danny's world-ending timelines, then who's to say he wouldn't keep tabs on Tim's as well?
Imagine that the brothers had to be temporarily separated at a young age to ensure a peaceful future. Danny had to be in Amity Park to gain his ghost powers and become the new Ghost King. Meanwhile, Tim had to stay in Gothem to become the new Robin, something he'd have been less likely to do if Danny stayed in his life.
However, their separation was only supposed to be temporary. What if both Dan and Future Tim were from futures where they never reunited as teens? Heck, what if both of them were from the SAME future?
The Nasty Burger explosion happened, Danny killed Vlad and absorbed his soul, and became Dan. Dan grew too powerful for the GIW to handle anymore, so the government tried reaching out to the Justice League. But oops! Future Tim already killed off and tore down that whole organization, meaning the world no longer had it's protectors to stop this new foe.
Though they were strangers, the future brothers unwittingly collaborated in sealing the world's fate.
Back to the present, the Observants wanted Clockwork to get rid of Danny and also Tim before that timeline came to pass. What they didn't understand was Clockwork's plan.
See, the Infinite Realms needed a new monarch to replace Pariah Dark, but not just anyone would do. In timelines outside of Dan's future, the U.S government would've started a war with the Infinite Realms anyway. One that would guarantee Earth's destruction and offset the balance of other realms near it.
The war is set to start in Amity Park, but the information blackout is preventing it's citizens from getting outside help. Mid-to-late teen Danny can't bring down the Anti Ecto Acts alone. He'd be struggling to keep the Realms beings from invading his home as it is. And the government's iron grip on the city makes it nearly impossible for news to get out to the masses.
Danny being the brother of a vigilante detective across the country is another story.
Batman's mentorship would give Tim the training needed to eventually track down his lost sibling. And through Red Robin's connections to the Justice League, Danny could get help overturning the Anti Ecto Acts while he keeps declarations of war at bay on his end. Danny and Tim's combined efforts could be what's keeping the world at peace instead of ending it.
Long story short: Clockwork kills two birds with one stone by uniting a pair of long lost brothers through the prevention of an interdimensional war.
#dc x dp#dpxdc#danny fenton#tim drake#danny and tim are brothers AU#I personally like the headcanon of Tim vaguely remembering Danny's presence in their early childhood before he just disappeared#and the Drake parents (out of grief or guilt) gaslit Tim into believing Danny never existed#They thought it was a white lie that would help him move past it#but it actually became an early contributer of his self-doubt growing up#Grieving the foggy memories of someone you're supposed to doubt the existence of#Never sharing this with anyone in fear of someone calling you crazy for it#(Fearing they might be right)#((That fear doubling after the Joker Jr. incident if we include that))#The need to gather and compile evidence supporting your thinking at a young age#because if the facts line up then that proves you know what you're talking about#Tim discovering he was right about his brother being real all along might not fix everything#but it'd probably be a relief at least
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I had all and then most of you some and now none of you t a k e m e b a c k t o t h e n i g h t w e m e t
#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agatha all along#agatha x rio#agathario#vidarkness#agathaallalongedit#aaaedit#mine#lyrics are from 'the night we met' by lord huron#and i swear that song fits these two /so/ well#also this is more like.... a trial run?#i spent like 2 days getting all cc off my laptop so it would allow me to use my old cs6#honestly it wasn't like the worst but my charger randomly died and that added some fun complications since my laptop's so old#and it did freak me out for a sec that i was going to have to work with photoshop being horrendously small because the scaling was so off#but thankfully that was a quick fix#all that to say this was just a quick set to see how much i remembered and test out everything#including obs since that wasnt a thing last time i did this#or at least i dont think it was#still it didnt turn out too badly#if i had more time i probably wouldve been more particular about which scenes to use#but i realllllly wanted to do it tonight so unfortunately on a limited time frame#okay i edited this because it was haunting me (ironic) with how blurry it was and luckily ps let me but i swear the bottom still looks weir#also can't do anything about the reblogs of the blurry version but at least this is the one that will be on my blog/in my edits tag
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tumblr said draw something bad so I did but I'm mad I still didn't feel anything
#man i started tagging this and i cant even bring myself to do it. hashtag art hashtag illustration hashtag capitalism.#sorry to be sadposting... tumblr is the only place i can admit ive actually been really really struggling with my love for art...#i should be grateful. i should be thankful for the fact that i can do art as my job. i shouldnt be whining about it like this.#but theres a hole in my soul where my joy for creating used to be and i dont know how to fix it. i want to love to draw again.#its been like this for probably over a year now and i dont know what to do. i cant abandon everything ive been working on for 7 years.#im also unemployable. so its not like i would dare to quit moonlume...but i just want to find joy in it again...#but capitalism has dug its wretched claws into my skull so badly that everything has been feeling incredibly soulless. i hate it.#anyway. might delete this later. its unprofessional but this is the one website where i can let go of professionalism for 5min and be human.#i dont hate what i do and i really am thankful..i just i wish i wasnt so stressed about making everything look good and perfect and sellable#but at this point its subconsciously connected to my survival that every time i think about drawing i stress myself out before i even start#ugh idk. neither here nor there. cant quit but dont feel connected to my work but cant change what i do or i will alienate my audience 👍
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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peach pit
[ID : a chubby skywing dragon named Pyrite, who has yellowish-orange scales with a lighter yellow underbelly and dark freckles across her scales, resembling the inside of a peach. she has a crest of dark spines along the back of her neck and on the tip of her tail, antler-like horns, her body is dappled with scars, and she wears a cord around her neck like a choker. she is sitting down, facing towards the left, with her wings held open and an uncertain expression on her face. the background is a teal rectangle with white peach blossoms overlayed on top of it. END ID]
#thinking a lawttt about how pyrite was described to be the same color as a peach a lot#the freckles as described in the id are supposed to make her look like the inside of a peach#she has scars all over her body bc she was enchanted to be really clumsy so i would imagine she would be constantly getting hurt by acciden#her feet [and other skywing feet] have a fifth toe on the back kinda like raptor claws that they use for balance and grabbing things#in winter turning the original pyrite[?] was described to have black eyes so i gave her really big pupils -#- that would probably make her eyes look black head-on#she has lil bear ears btw !! i think skywings and icewings have bear ears bc theyre smaller and wont get cold as easily . also theyre cute#i just thought the crest of spines would look cute but then i realized the resemblance to icewing spikes so i added them to the tail too#the antler horns looking like icewing reindeer horns also wasnt intentional i just wanted them to look unique -#- instead of the generic straight horns or curved i usually give skywings#i think she has quite a bit of icewing remnants left over despite the spell actually#like i would imagine her fire is weaker than the other skywings and would be a lot less hotter#she also instinctively isnt used to skywing proportions hence why shes sitting the way she is with her legs all weird and wings not closed#other than that shes rather boring and isnt very flamboyant bc i think scarlet would think she doesnt deserve it#i dont really have any other design notes everything was added last second or by complete accident gafksndkxk#I JUST REALIZED THE THUMB ON HER WING IS BACKWARDS . I WAS WONDEIRN WHY IT LOOKED WEIRD CKJFMCJXNX#whatever im not fixing it. suffer with me#🖌#wings of fire skywing#wings of fire#wings of fire pyrite#og my GODDD tumblr eated the wuality on this one real bad wtfff
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Tokyo Revengers Siblings Groupchat (Sano's & Akashi's)
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of drugs/rehab, mentions of stalking (it's all satirical, mostly, and i'm probably using this word wrong), angst? (i wouldn't consider it such but you'll get what i mean)
Desc: just a lil dive into two groups of sibling trios :) this is also the final timeline where everything is okay
Akashi's
Senju: she ate that
Sanzu: ?
Sanzu: what did she eat
Senju: she ate
Sanzu: what
Sanzu: what was it that she ate
Sanzu: who are we talking about
Senju: purrrr💅
Sanzu: what
Sanzu: what the fuck are you saying
Sanzu: you're pissing me off
Takeomi: can you guys shut up
Takeomi: isn't this for important things? like emergencies.
Sanzu: you act like you'd be any help if it was an emergency
Senju: i'm talking about me btw
Senju: i'm at 4 million followers 😋
Sanzu: well i'm at 4 and a half so☺
Takeomi: don't you guys run the channel together?
Sanzu: we required our fans to vote who they were mostly watching for and who's funnier
Sanzu: and that's me
Senju: you're not funny, people just love twinks these days🙄
Sanzu: fuck does that mean?🤨
Sanzu: i'm not a twink? i've been going to the gym for the past year
Senju: do you go there to take pictures or what?
Senju: cause ain't no way
Senju: also, homosexuality + skinny = twink
Takeomi: haruchiyo's not gay
Senju: and who told you that?🤨
Sanzu: i've never been attracted to anyone ever so
Senju: you have a USB of just pictures of Mikey, you fucking freak
Senju: am i just suppose to beleive you just look at them for fun
Sanzu: I'M NOT DOING WHAT U THINK I'M DOING
Sanzu: WHERE DID U EVEN FIND THAT OUT FROM
Sanzu: i'm just admiring him
Sanzu: like stop making this weird
Senju: i'm making this weird? YOU'RE A STALKER
Sanzu: IT'S NOT STALKING
Sanzu: i'm just hanging out with him from far away
Senju: with binoculars?😐
Sanzu: you wouldn't get it
Senju: your guys' obsession with the Sano's needs to be studied
Sanzu: i'm not obsessed, i'm normal
Senju: you could be arrested yk?
Senju: you know how many followers we lost the last time you got arrested?
Sanzu: they came back didn't they??? my acting in my apology video was oscar level. did you see that fucking tear? we actually got more followers after that so fuck you
Senju: chill😭
Takeomi: the "going to rehab" stunt was really good. even got people supporting you. keep up the publicity kid 👍
Sanzu: ...
Sanzu: i actually hate you tbh
Sanzu: i get addicted to drugs and the first thing you think is "how can i capitalize off of this"
Takeomi: ...that's what you did tho?
Takeomi: why are you blaming me for your drug addiction🤨
Sanzu: and you praised me for it
Sanzu: the only time you say anything nice about me is when you benefit from it, especially when there's money involved
Sanzu: but whatever
Takeomi: you blame all your problems on me. you're an adult and actions have consequences, haruchiyo. you sniffed coke, not me
Sanzu: ...
Sanzu: maybe you should admit you're a shit brother
Senju:
Senju: please stop fighting ❤
Senju: peace and love only haha
Sanzu: easy for you to say, he actually likes you
Sanzu: idgaf tho like whatever, i'm leaving
Senju: where?? we have a live in a few minutes
Sanzu: do it without me
Senju: please don't go to the Haitani's, those guys suck, they're a terrible influence
Senju: Haru?
Takeomi: he's gone
Takeomi: don't let him get to you Senju, he's just dramatic
Senju: ...right
Sanos
Izana: who the fuck is outside our window
Izana: it's 9pm
Mikey: what??
Mikey: lemme look
Mikey: oh lol that's just Haru, don't worry about it
Emma: again? Mikey...
Mikey: what?
Izana: what the fuck do you mean "don't worry about it" ????
Emma: you're enabling him :(
Emma: Haruchiyo has mental problems, so maybe you should tell him that, idk, stalking isn't normal?
Mikey: we're just hanging out tho?
Mikey: but from far away
Kakucho: does anyone see flashes from outside?
Mikey: Haru's just taking pictures of me
Izana: ???
Izana: what the fuck
Shinichiro: hey guys! can you guys get under your beds and hide? i think we might be getting robbed 😄
Shinichiro: but i'll take care of it🤞
Mikey: LMAO😭😭😭😭
Izana: what are you gonna do Shinichiro? if i may ask
Shinichiro: ...protect you
Shinichiro: i'm willing to resort to violence to save you guys
Izana: you can't fucking fight😐
Mikey: we aren't getting robbed! my good friend just likes to watch me from my window sometimes and that's okay. Haruchiyo has his own way of doing things, let him be.
Shinichiro: oh. ok!
Shinichiro: goodnight then, i suppose 🤞❤
Izana: no?
Izana: how long has he been doing this?
Izana: this is so weird wtf
Mikey: god forbid gay people have hobbies
Izana: ...?
Emma: what does this have to do with him being gay?
Mikey: idk i think he's in love with me or something, and that's pretty gay
Mikey: which i don't mind
Mikey: people just fall into my hands, i'm charming like that fr
Emma: ...sure🙂
Izana: whatever makes you sleep at night
Mikey: i don't sleep at night, the crippling depression keeps me up
Emma: you sleep 12 hours a day 😐
Mikey: that's not a lot tho
Kakucho: it's half the day...
Mikey: so
Kakucho: nothing
Shinichiro: guys don't sleep too late
Shinichiro: it's waaaay past your bedtime
Shinichiro: early bird catches the worm and all that 😄
Mikey: ...i'm 24
Mikey: fym bedtime🤨
Izana: yeah uh we're all way too old for that
Izana: except Emma
Izana: you should he asleep
Emma: nope, me and my husband are about to try for a baby😚
Kakucho: *my husband and i
Emma: he says hi btw
Mikey: DUDE
Mikey: EWWWWWWWW🤢🤮😭
Izana: what are you, 5?
Izana: also we literally didn't need to know that. i'm really grossed out rn
Izana: what made you think that was okay to say
Emma: because you guys are lonely grumpy men and i have a very active and healthy sexual relationship :))
Emma: i'm being maliceful
Emma: *maleficent
Emma: um i forgot the word
Emma: like, purposefully being mean
Emma: AHA
Emma: malicious
Izana: that took you too long
Izana: and what about it? i'm just not ready to be in a relationship rn and that's fine
Emma: you got drunk last night and cried about how lonely you were😐
Izana: lies
Izana: i need to better myself mentally in order to have a healthy relationship
Mikey: lmao is that what your therapist told you?💀
Izana: yes
Mikey: oh
Emma: ok well i'm logging off. bye🤗
Mikey: i'm gonna have to have a conversation with Ken-chin cause he can't be doing this to my little sister
Kakucho: they are married
Mikey: what's your point?
Kakucho: ...nothing
#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers manga#tokyo revengers smau#tokyo revengers texts#tokyo revengers groupchat#akashi takeomi#akashi senju#kawaragi senju#akashi haruchiyo#sanzu haruchiyo#sano manjiro/mikey#sano emma#kurokawa izana#hitto kakucho#sano shinichiro#yeah so like i know everything was fixed in the last timeline but probably not every specific little thing#so i like to think that takeomi didn't really change that much#but i really like the concept of haruchiyo and senju being youtubers/influencers#i might just start doing trios or groups of sibling rather than entire groupchats of everyone because they're all very different people#and i end up making them ooc or some just don't show up at all cause idk what they would say i'm certain conversations#also i'm sorry that i'm not doing these as consistently as i used to#i just don't have time to be here ever#also i fully hate everything i write but even if one line can get someone to laugh then that's cool 😙#i also just think haruchiyo and takeomi are very dysfunctional and idk i probably didn't convey it right but yeah#if you see repetition from past gc's please don't mind it like just ignore it and pretend it's funny <33 (i'm running out of ideas)#and if i'm mischaracterizing people uh sorry ig
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in your fic “paint it over” is that how you imagine jason making it out of the explosion at the end of utrh? not exactly the events that follow, but the preferable characterization of bruce digging jay out of the rubble and carrying him to help. and how do you think jason made it out canonically (without the help of bruce) also!!! what are your thoughts on the specifics of jason’s scar and how he’d behave toward it. i liked the part of your fic where jason was temporarily unable to speak due to the trauma his neck received. i think the scar is something that rests on the junction of his shoulder/neck, and that can be hidden with whatever clothes he wears -> no one knows he has it (or how he got it) either. i like to imagine while bruce knows his batarang made contact with jason’s throat it’s never fully registered to him that it scarred until he sees it for himself (and while i believe bruce would turn the moment in head over and over again until it’s engraved in his brain, his delayed realization—to me—is due to his repression of the occurrence)
oh i adore this whole ask. some of it i explained in my notes, but this fanfic is quite dear to me, so i will elaborate.
short answer to whether this is how i imagine jay making it out of the explosion: not exactly?
the premise that i wanted to explore with paint it over is almost the opposite of a fix-it, and definitely not what i believe it should be in canon.
what i wished to explore there is, however, the part of utrh that is perhaps the most shocking to many readers: that bruce leaves jason to die.
in-universe, i think the answer why it happens is surprisingly simple enough: bruce does not come because he is just... not there. my understanding is, that in a way, the events of under the red hood did not happen. there is nothing to follow. that purple mist in the finale of the utrh, that is often read as a force resurrecting jason (not technically wrong, either)- i believe that is the timeline already rewriting itself, making the whole story into something that was not.
and the reason for the above is the infinite crisis. if i'm not wrong, it's also the inifinite crisis miniseries where bruce meets dick right after the explosions in (or of) bludhaven-- that in batman clearly happens in the background of his confrontation with jay. however, in infinite crisis (#4, just checked it now), bruce tells dick: "i wanted to make sure...you're alright... i was in new york when it hit. got here as soon as i could." which could be a lie or a matter of the editorial not being synced enough- but i'm willing to give them a benefit of the doubt given how it ties with that sudden, stunted ending of utrh.
this makes sense for canon for several reasons. in the animated movie, since it spares us the infinite crisis tie-in, bruce says of the whole incident: this changes nothing. it changes nothing because although aditf isn't, utrh is a tragedy; it changes nothing because since his death, jason is necessarily always pushed at the peripheries of the narrative, no matter how much the fate itself tries to fix it, becoming a tragic footnote. the dead have one right and it's the right to remain silent. and that is ironically ensured on a cosmic level, with his violent attempt at being seen hidden in the folds of the timeline. you can also see it clearly in canon -- i believe it was not until the infinite frontier that the events of utrh got just tangentially mentioned (before that, even lobdell barely touched upon it). other than that, they have no consequences; they are barely ever spoken of; they seem to slip out even from jay's solo comics.
this move was necessary for batman, as a character and as a title: let's say bruce does hold red hood as he does in the alt cover of annual 25 (and the cover of the deluxe edition of utrh.) that would implore a reckoning with his failure and his (suddenly non-productive) grief that would either reconstruct the whole myth or lead to some terrifying implications. these terrifying implications are, essentially, what paint it over is about. it's about the worst happening and about there being no way back from it. and jason, in receiving what he wanted (his father's love and care) wants to deny that reality. they both want to. yet even jay cannot ignore it completely -- and i chose to use the batarang injury to emphasize it.
and about the scar: i mentioned it briefly before, but in the au jason aggravates the wounds on purpose, hence it will scar worse and cause long-term issues for his voice. it's a theme i also keep in some of my other stories (to come...) and i very much think this is what would happen in canon if he had to take care of that injury. yet as it healed, i believe he'd take to hiding it, mostly. still, as it stands, my primary take might be that in canon (if it was to follow the interference into the timeline from the crisis at least) jason would simply end up with no scar at all, and only memories for evidence of what happened, which is perhaps worse for him too (but of course better for bruce. and as it happens, this is bruce wayne's story and everyone else is just living in it- or dies in it- for better or worse. and if we're ignoring that metaphysical timeline bullshit, as you said, i believe bruce would repress it all anyway.)
#this is probably a mess but it's 3am and i should go to sleep so#sorry if it does not make sense/i did not properly reply to everything. i might follow up...#and i'm very curious if you have any more thoughts on jay's scar!!#+ most importantly <3 thank you for reading my work. this makes me so happy.#outbox#yutro writes#btw. i had another post in which i said that i consider what was said in annual 25 about jay's initial resurrection being an attempt ->#of “fate” to fix things to be central to my view on canon. i guess in that case the utrh becoming half erased is another attempt at it ->#when universe loves you so much it rids of the evidence of your trauma...#also i forgot to mention. i am very much for jay's storyline challenging the status quo of batman as a title#-> but that would make him literally the main character<3 and i don't think most people are ready for it or want it#core texts
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@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
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Everyone posts about how Stardew Valley is a cozy LGBT+ inclusive game but NO ONE mentions the lack of a platonic option for the bachelors/bachelorettes. Which would be good for aspec people and also just more pleasant for many casual players I believe but that's not even the point. I just want to become best friends with everyone and not only does that require me dating everyone at once and feeling like a sleazebag because of it (ik the bad cutscene can be avoided but I know in my heart they'd be hurt if they knew) BUT it also means the women flirt with me!!!!! Constantly!!!!!!! It makes me sick to my stomach. Truly ruining the characters I liked
#this post is not that serious or meant to be an Analysis or a Discourse Post or a Hot Take or whatever#i just think the dating thing needs to be handled differently#i should be able to Not Date characters and still get 10 hearts with them#also ive never made it far enough in stardew valley to marry someone and this is the first time i could even date someone#and ive heard that the flirtatious comments dont stop once you're married which is. really awkward for me#i mean i could probably handle the guys flirting with me while im married but id hope being married would be an off switch for it#its just awkward to have ppl im not actually dating and only gave a bouquet to so i can be their friend be called my bf/gf when. they're Not#i seriously need to find some kind of mod to fix this once i finish getting all the girls up to ten hearts#i will deal with the stomach churning grossness of the flirting for a while so i can see everything#but then I'm DONE!!! I'm DONE!!!! I just want my friends back!!!!#maru and abigail and haley !!! my buds!!!#NOT emily shes scary and NOT leah because we just didn't click and DEFINITELY not penny because i fucking hate her#penny sucks. penny dni#but yeah the flirting feels gross because im gay and repulsed by women romantically/sexually#and even though i did open myself up to this by playing the game. because i dont want it it feels like its being forced on me#which makes it feel even WORSE than normal#and its like. not only do i feel like I'm stringing along these characters#but i feel like my friendship with my favourites is ruined :(
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the scene where carmy, stressed and at his worst, holds out his cut hand and says "blood! see! good! good! are you all happy now!" to the beef when no one is listening to him or letting him have his way is just. so...so donna. he is his mother's son unfortunately
#the bear#thinking a lot abt everything that's wrong with him i wanna make a list.#also on that note it's actually to me a sign of great love and sacrifice that richie had held back that comment for so long#i'm not being pithy i'm actually like. a lot of carmy's worst traits are also donna's#and i think richie who is very keen on things actually def picks up on that#and the only reason he doesn't bring it up sooner is probably the knowledge that it would wreck him#and he only brings it up in s2 from a place of desperation--nothing else is working#fixing the beef didn't also fix carmen#it's the reality check he probably never felt secure enough to give mikey#bc on THAT note i think richie's failure with mikey is his own insecurity; his fear of being kicked out or not belonging#he doesn't want to disagree with mikey and risk that closeness#and ultimately that anxiety hurts them both
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does jay ever get confused or surprised by his own emotions or actions? i feel like its even worse whrn you dont even know why youre acting like this, because you cant explain ky to yourself, let alone other people
I think so. I know he definitely doesn't really realise he's doing some of it in the moment, especially when he's angry. Like, he just lashes out without even thinking about it, then refuses to let himself feel like he's in the wrong in the moment, because that'd mean "losing" in some way, so he usually doubles down. But like, yeah, I feel like a lot of the time he doesn't expect to react as severely as he does? Like, he's fine fine fine fine, until he's not and he just flies off the handle and can't really do anything about it until he's landed again, and then he can start trying to pick up all the pieces, y'know?
He definitely beats himself up when he settles on "oh I fucked up" after he does something (and tries to get Alex to beat him up over it too lmao, uh, anyway 💀) yeah, if you asked him WHY he did something? Chances are he'll bullshit you about the explanation. Like, I feel like hell make it sound like he knows why he did it, but then if you actually start prodding past the made up, surface level shit he came out with, you'd realise really fast that he doesn't know why he did something.
Either that or sometimes you'll get a massive flood of every single reason he can possibly think of for why he did something? Like you know in Sorry, It's Locked chapter three, when Tim kisses him and he freaks the fuck out and runs away, and then after that he kinda gives Tim just this massive flood of every single thing that lead up to that moment of him panicking and trying to run away.
He's all or nothing, 0 or 100, nothing in between. Either he knows every single thing about why he reacted how he did, or he doesn't have the foggiest, y'know?
#hed break down if you tried to prod deeper when he gave you a bullshitted answer. i think. like itd freak him all the way out and hed#immediately feel super threatened and unsafe and probably get defensive like “oh so you dont believe me? i dont know my own emotions best?”#that kinda thing yknow?#i just wanna wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him.#i wanna do that with Alex too honestly. i wanna swaddle them both and rock them until they stop being dumb#theyd get a lot from deep pressure therapy stuff i think. they need a weighted blanket each and to have tim and brian just take turns lying#on top of them. they need to do that thing cats do. just lounge all over each other. thatd fix them i think. 💀#they just need to get squished for like. half an hour to an hour a day and everything would be sunshine and rainbows.... totally.#this is how mental illness works. dont-ya-know 💀#asks#marble hornets#jay merrick#alex kralie#jaylex#marble hornets fanfic#mh sorry its locked
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yargh. complicated characters save me complicated characters…
#im thinking about ceroba…#im thinking about how ive seen so many ppl (in ‘hot takes’) call her a bad mother for what she did to kanako#and im thinking about how its. silly to base the entire view of her as a character around one mistake#yes sure a very BIG mistake but still one mistake#i dont know if i would even say shes a bad mom. to do so would require me to make some kind of criteria to actually define#what MAKES a bad person#ive spoken before to a friend about how our concepts of good and bad as a whole r subjective anyway#but thats besides the point#i think ceroba as a interesting character becauseee of her mistakes because of her flaws#i think (er. KNOW) that she was a very caring mother. she loved kanako lots lots lots and did everything in her power to fix that mistake#but that doesnt take away that it still happened#im just rambling at this point. nonsense probably#but i think the reason i dislike the bad mom ceroba takes so much is that its reduction to her character in a way…#and that it cant and shouldnt rlly speak to her characterization before and after. yknow the incident#sorry thats a big mess….. i have thoughts i dont know how to speak them#i could say the same abt the other characters too… how ppl like to equate their whole view of a char#to only a few moments with that char#weve forgotten star tried briefly to take clovers soul </3 but oh well#ok im done jfkdkd this is disorganized
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#cw vent#maybe i stayed up too late but suddenly i feel like crying#like really badly#i tried very hard today#but im still so scared#of everything#im being watched. i am absolutely sure im being watched#i can feel somebodys presence over my shoulder now and they can probably read what im typing#its been like this for so long#and#as im typing this it has been the sixteenth of juky for about two hours#twenty two hours left until my birthday#i will be sixteen#that is scaring me so much#i haven't progressed since i was maybe eleven#i still can't take care of mysekf. i shouldn't ve admitting to this but i genuinely can't do basic actions#i constantly forget to keep my body in a safe state. my hair is so messy. i get tok focused on other stuff and most of the time i just#forget to shower#i am genuinely so disgusting and unhygienic. i know this and want to fix it#but also.. i just wish i was like just an internet person#if i didn't have to eat or maintain my body i think id be a much happier person#im scared#how can i possibly be turning 16. i haven't even learnt how to eat food yet#most meals i can't eat without gagging or feeling like vomiting#i don't know why im typing all this out#for a while i was okay with it being my birthday soon. because i thought i would finally get attention and love from others#but im starting to realise that probably will not be happening#:[#why am i typing this out. my head hurts#and im gonna die
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feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.
#part of me wonders if going to the centre is helping or hurting more#but i think it's definitely helping more. however it is definitely also hurting/making some things worse#i just wish I could be operating at the same level as most of society#and i feel so egotistical when I talk abt this#but like. why am i always so fucking aware of every single thing going on#and everyone else is just painfully oblivious#I AM USING HYPERBOLE. ITS NOT EVERYONE. i know im not the only person ever lmao#when i got my autism diagnosis i thought oh good okay so THIS is why im such a freak#and now I've met so many other autistic ppl irl and um. no. no thats definitely not it still.#yes its probably part of it but im also just. so fucking traumatized i guess idk. i hate this so much#i just want to be the same and fit in and not be analyzing everything and be able to actually speak my mind#and not be so kind and polite and respectful all the time and be able to say shitty stupid things without thinking anything of it#im so tired of being the only one who seems to care so much about everyone else's comfort and feelings#but also at the same time i would hate if i acted like everyone else bc i know how shitty it makes people feel#and people are always so happy to see me because I am useful and make them feel good and comfortable and heard#and that matters. that means a lot to people i think. but also I am not a person. i am a tool.#and I'd really like to be a person#i somehow feel like im operating at a higher level/awareness than almost everyone irl and also way below everyone at the same time#like im so hyperaware of everyone else more than most ppl but im also so socially inept sometimes. and just... idk how to be a person.#i dont know i just want to not be like this. its so lonely and tiring and i want to matter to people#i want them to like me for more than just what I'm able to do for them. I want to be liked for Me i guess. but Me isnt likeable maybe#Me is uncomfortable for people. Me is a trembling cornered prey animal with a longing to tell stories but is too afraid to do anything#and so Me just exists in a hollow shell made out of people-pleasing and fawning and mirroring everyone around them#and then i get lonelier and more isolated and nothing really changes. but every time i try to crack open the shell a little it goes badly#like i genuinely dont think its my paranoia. i think it is not Safe for Me to exist properly.#i am too sensitive probably! but it does very much feel like a raw wound that peope jab aggressively at when i open up a little!#boy howdy i sound like such a wuss. i mean i probably am one fjfkdl#i just feel like I keep trying to fix things and improve and try new things and nothing ever really works well#my counsellors have always commented on how impressed they are at my willingness to try things#and its like ?? yeah ! ofc i am going to try things! maybe that will be smth that finally helps!
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