#hed break down if you tried to prod deeper when he gave you a bullshitted answer. i think. like itd freak him all the way out and hed
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does jay ever get confused or surprised by his own emotions or actions? i feel like its even worse whrn you dont even know why youre acting like this, because you cant explain ky to yourself, let alone other people
I think so. I know he definitely doesn't really realise he's doing some of it in the moment, especially when he's angry. Like, he just lashes out without even thinking about it, then refuses to let himself feel like he's in the wrong in the moment, because that'd mean "losing" in some way, so he usually doubles down. But like, yeah, I feel like a lot of the time he doesn't expect to react as severely as he does? Like, he's fine fine fine fine, until he's not and he just flies off the handle and can't really do anything about it until he's landed again, and then he can start trying to pick up all the pieces, y'know?
He definitely beats himself up when he settles on "oh I fucked up" after he does something (and tries to get Alex to beat him up over it too lmao, uh, anyway ๐) yeah, if you asked him WHY he did something? Chances are he'll bullshit you about the explanation. Like, I feel like hell make it sound like he knows why he did it, but then if you actually start prodding past the made up, surface level shit he came out with, you'd realise really fast that he doesn't know why he did something.
Either that or sometimes you'll get a massive flood of every single reason he can possibly think of for why he did something? Like you know in Sorry, It's Locked chapter three, when Tim kisses him and he freaks the fuck out and runs away, and then after that he kinda gives Tim just this massive flood of every single thing that lead up to that moment of him panicking and trying to run away.
He's all or nothing, 0 or 100, nothing in between. Either he knows every single thing about why he reacted how he did, or he doesn't have the foggiest, y'know?
#hed break down if you tried to prod deeper when he gave you a bullshitted answer. i think. like itd freak him all the way out and hed#immediately feel super threatened and unsafe and probably get defensive like โoh so you dont believe me? i dont know my own emotions best?โ#that kinda thing yknow?#i just wanna wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him.#i wanna do that with Alex too honestly. i wanna swaddle them both and rock them until they stop being dumb#theyd get a lot from deep pressure therapy stuff i think. they need a weighted blanket each and to have tim and brian just take turns lying#on top of them. they need to do that thing cats do. just lounge all over each other. thatd fix them i think. ๐#they just need to get squished for like. half an hour to an hour a day and everything would be sunshine and rainbows.... totally.#this is how mental illness works. dont-ya-know ๐#asks#marble hornets#jay merrick#alex kralie#jaylex#marble hornets fanfic#mh sorry its locked
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