#I think her and barb would get along very well

[walmart-miku]

now that I've finished the Fontaine archon quest I need hydro fam shenanigans.

This is the vibe in the hydro fam. You got neuvillette babysitting a bunch of unhinged children.

And before you come for me about barbara, barb is one incident away from being completely unhinged. My girl is barely holding it together. And nilou is unhinged, shes just good at hiding it. Girl was ready to go to jail in the sumeru quest.

Headcannons under the cut

Furina, barb, and nilou do shows together I take no criticism about this. Xingqiu wrote the shows. Neuvillette and childe fund it.

Xingqiu needs to be put in Fontaine. My boy is literally FAMOUS over there. (On a side note, love how every hydro character is famous. Only exception here is yelan but that's cus she's an undercover agent.)

Furina, xingqiu, and barb would get along like a house on fire. You got 3 art kids together, 1 that can get away with stuff, 1 that's smart, and 1 that keeps the shenanigans from getting too big and getting them into trouble. It is a weekly occurrence that neuvillette gets a call telling him his kids went and did some shit again and he's gotta clean it up.

Also childe. He's like that cool cousin that shows up at your door randomly and is involved in a lot of shady shit, but they can't complain cus childe brings xingqiu all of these rare books and makes sure he comes to all of furina and barbs performances and reads monas astrology column in the steambird every morning.

Barb makes coffee every morning for mona and makes sure mona has a balanced diet.

They have weekly tea time. Everyone shows up. No one misses it. Sometimes wrio is invited.

kokomi and xingqiu can talk for hours about anything. Books, strategy, anything. No one understands what they're talking about. Except for ayato but that's only when it's about strategy

Barbara and sigwinne will also talk about medicine for hours and it's even more difficult to understand those conversations

ayato will spawn randomly, hand someone bubble tea and then disappear. It's his way of saying I love you.

He also jumps jumpscares everyone a lot. Not intentionally but just bc someone runs into him and they haven't seen ayato in a few days and he's got Gucci eyebags and looks ready to fight the Raiden shogun. Also because he's just really quiet when he moves. You don't notice his presence unless he wants you too.

All of the adults spoil furina, xingqiu, and barb rotten. Mona tries her best.

None if them like Jean. They think that Jean doesn't deserve Barb after everything but if barb wants to have a relationship with her then they won't do anything.

Candace has fought off a crowd of crazy fans before. She will do it again.

Candace and childe fight once a month. "To see who deserves a name that starts with C" childe says. The matches always end in a draw.

Neuvillette is a better dad then all of their canon fathers.

Barbara will start singing randomly and nilou will start dancing

[eddiessluttywaist]

as if

AGELESS/BLANK/UNDER 18 BLOGS ARE NOT WELCOME TO INTERACT. PLEASE RESPECT MY RULES AND BOUNDARIES.

summary: eddie taunts reader daily, but… she kinda likes it? just never does anything about it. not until she has to tutor him, anyway.

pairing: bully!mean!perv!eddie munson x perv!fem reader

word count: 7,901 words

content/warnings: swearing, some angst at the beginning kinda, mention of death (barb), SMUT MDNI (y/n is 18), bully!eddie, mean!eddie, perv!eddie, bully kink (?), dominating, arguing, breeding kink, hate sex, brief masturbation mentions, mocking, teasing, anxiety kinda, spitting, invasion of privacy (eddie goes through her things), eddie’s a dirty lil pantie stealer and sniffer, y/n is a c*m sl*t, bulge kink(?), dacryphilia, groping, choking, daddy kink if you squint real hard, mentions of virginity (y/n is not a virgin), pet names (doll face, princess), degradation (use of slut). i think that’s all pls tell me if i miss anything!

a/n: i have to say tbh i don’t see eddie ever being a bully so this is technically like an au!eddie?…but also… uhhhh very hot. makes my brain wiggle with heat waves so here we are. hope you like it! <3

part two - part three

*

As if.

It’s a simple statement, really, and you meant no harm when you said it. It was just something to be said… that didn’t mean he didn’t hear it though.

That also didn’t mean it didn’t tick him off.

You were surprisingly pretty to be in the geek group, but in the cruel and tyrannical world of high school girls..? Alas, no amount of lip gloss or cute skirts could free you of the fact that you were smart. Not only smart, but a geek. A nerd—who was shy around most—and you got along with nearly all of the teachers because of how well-behaved and intelligent you were. And, on occasion—although you always tried your best to not come off this way—a bit of a know-it-all.

That was the final nail in your coffin, really. Correcting Carol Perkins in American History in front of everyone back in your freshman year. (Her sophomore year and already irritable about having to take a freshman course 2 years in a row). You meant well, but she had it out for you ever since. The tyrant, as it was, made it entirely impossible for you to make your way up the food chain.

So in your sophomore year of high school, back in Autumn of ‘83, you were among the peasants just like him—even as a senior (for the first time). He took a quiet interest in you. You were cute and soft-spoken. You were a sophomore, though, and the fact that you were 15 at the time made the 17 year old scrunch up his nose whenever he remembered. He could still look, though, right? There was no harm in that…

Nancy and Barb took notice of it all pretty quickly. The way that the senior would scan over your outfits everyday. The way that he might’ve smirked a little if you had to bend over to pick something up, simply staring at your behind rather than coming over to get your things for you. The pair would exchange glances that you were adorably unaware of, over his attention that you were also so endearingly oblivious to. One day, they finally burst over it in the hallway, and he overheard.

“I think a senior likes you.” Nancy teased, gripping her Geometry textbook to her chest.

“What?” You had let out a slight laugh, digging through you locker. “What makes you say that?”

“Oh my god, seriously?” Barb interjected. “Aren’t you supposed to be smart? Observant?”

You were all wide-eyed over that, pouty lips opening and then closing as you struggled to find your words before finally landing on a frustrated huff and a simple “Shut up.”

“He stares at you all the time.” Nancy pushed with a teasing smile.

“Like you can talk.” You teased, slamming your locker shut before resting your back against it. “Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington is totally all over you.” You smirked at the way her face instantly heated up.

“I- He- It’s not like that.” She insisted, completely flustered. And while Barb agreed with you, she wasn’t interested in letting you direct the conversation elsewhere.

“Besides he’s just a Junior. The guy who likes you is a Senior.” Nancy tacked on.

“Like there’s really that big of a difference?” You raised a brow.

“There is.” Barb scoffs.

“Well then if it’s such a huge deal… can’t you just tell me who it is?”

“You seriously don’t know?” Barb questioned and the ginger-brunette pair tilted their heads while they looked at you with a sort of exasperated disbelief. You just gave them that wide eyed look again and shrugged your shoulders.

Barb broke first with a scoff and a bright smile. “Eddie Munson. He stares at you all the time.”

Eddie Munson. He wasn’t popular by any means, but he was still a Senior. He was still attractive to you, and could still make an underclassmen blush if he gave them any attention simply because he was older and a little dangerous. He just didn’t show any interest in any of the other younger students, just a little curiosity towards you.

“Eddie Munson?” You had laughed a little, which made him furrow his brows as he listened in just around the corner of the hall at his own locker. You were being dismissive out of nerves, not out of any sort of malicious intent, but that’s not how he took your tone. After all, he was a cynical man.

“As if.”

*

After that he was a bit bitter towards you. Then he was a little mean. And then he was just plain cruel. He was an asshole. He was a bully.

Since his interest being pointed out to you, you occasionally glanced over at him to see if he really was staring. But he either acted like you didn’t exist, or whenever his gaze did meet yours the corners of his lips turned down and his brow frowned with disgust before looking elsewhere.

When Barb went missing, you and Nancy were temporarily joined at the hip in your efforts to figure out what happened. Then one day Nancy went cold on you. Started making excuses and hardly speaking to you otherwise. You didn’t understand, finding yourself completely alone as you scattered “Missing Person” posters all over Hawkins.

You had no idea what happened with Barb at the time and still had no clue what happened with your friendship with Nance to this very day. Maybe the loss was too much. Maybe Nancy couldn’t handle the reminder of your perfect trio. She was always closer to Barb than you. Maybe Barb missing and then turning up dead made it too difficult for her to face you. Maybe she was all caught up in two guys being completely obsessed with her, which admittedly made you a little jealous.

Soon enough you seemed to be completely off one another’s radars. It made high school even lonelier for you. You eventually found some new friends in other corners of the “Smart Kids” lunch table, but it was never like it was with Nancy and Barb.

So by the time he started getting a little mean, there wasn’t really anyone to protect you. Your new friends were skittish around the metalhead. Nance and Barb would’ve stood up for you once, but that support system was obliterated back in ‘83.

So when he shoved past you in the halls later in your sophomore year, no one gave it any thought. When he was pulling your hair in your Junior year then acting all innocent when you turned around to confront him, still no one cared. Now in your Senior year—and him in his third—whenever you thought he couldn’t be worse, he proved you wrong and did so with a devilish grin.

He pulled your hair. He tripped you. He stood behind you in line at lunch and would flip up the back of your skirt. He smacked your books out of your hands. He openly mocked you while leaning back in his chair at lunch with that smug look on his face. He mimicked your contributions in class under his breath, knowing you’d hear him and trip over your words. He snuck filthy messages into your locker that made your face burn with embarrassment and disgust—disgust for him and for the way his perverted words made your thighs press together. He would speed up whenever you were walking or biking home just to scare the shit out of you. He would take any opportunity to shove you or throw things at you or press his body up against yours in a derisive and vulgar manner—especially in gym class. He would “playfully” hump you from behind and nearly knock you over whenever you bent over and there was no teacher paying attention. Or spank you. Or pinch your ass.

He was horrible. Disgusting. Obnoxious. Crude. Vile. He made you go home with tears in your eyes most days, but the worst part was how much you liked the attention. You hated yourself for it. You wished you were running to the nearest adult to tell them every last thing he did to you. You wished you were standing up to him and calling him a disgusting pig in front of everyone which surely would’ve pulled out some “Ooo”s and maybe even some of the Seniors that hated him would’ve joined in. Maybe even had your back, even if it was temporary.

But you didn’t because by now when he pulled your hair, you had to refrain from whimpering or moaning. When he tripped you, you thought of the things he could do to you now you were already on your hands and knees. When he flipped up your skirt you always gasped and shoved him away, secretly hoping he’d do it again—even starting to wear only your cutest pairs of panties to school. When he smacked your books out of your hands, you actually liked that it was him causing you to bend over or get on your knees to collect your things again. When he decided to mock you from over at his spot at lunch, you got butterflies from the way he said your name and the way his dimples sunk into his cheeks. When he mimicked you in class, you tripped over your words because his voice and tangible presence got you all flustered and hot. When you got to your locker, you secretly hoped to see the torn off corner of some notebook page flutter onto the floor with the most obscene words. When he sped up to scare you, you thought about screaming something so bold at him that he would screech to a halt and reverse before telling you to get in his van, now.

You liked when he threw things at you like balled up paper to your cheek in class or a basketball to your side in gym. You liked when he shoved you or pressed against you because in his attempts to intimidate you with his touch and his proximity, it made your knees weak. You liked how he pinched your ass or gave it a little smack when you bent over and your teacher wasn’t looking. And you loved when he would thrust up against you whenever you were bent over and there was no teacher around at all, because his bulge pressed up against you (even while he was laughing devilishly) made you ache.

He was so utterly horrible to you, and yet when you found yourself grinding on your hand at night on top of your pink, white and yellow quilt—you were thinking about him and how mean he was. You were thinking about how mean he would be as he fucked you. Taunting you and teasing you and mocking you. You spasmed around your fingers and choked down your cries at the thought of him bullying your cunt.

It was all a fantasy, though. He never interacted with you longer than a few seconds, and was always with him in control. If you walked up to him and told him you wanted him to fuck you like the bully he was, he probably would’ve died laughing right before your eyes and told everyone he knew about your embarrassing lust for the guy who made your life a living hell. But now you were being cornered into spending time with him, and being faced with a real-life scenario where you were together made your palms sweat.

“I know he’s a difficult young man, but if you tutor him I’ll figure something out with the principal. Some sort of extra credit maybe.”

“There’s no one else that could tutor him?” You choked out, nerves on edge. Ms. O’Donnell gave you a sympathetic smile and shook her head.

“All busy.”

Busy, my ass you wanted to huff out. They were probably all avoiding him like the plague. O’Donnell was desperate to get his grade up and get him out of the damn school, which you didn’t blame her for, but god… why you?

“Okay…” You relented, a sad twitch for a smile when she sighed in relief and thanked you incessantly.

“I’ve already spoken to him about needing a tutor, I’ll let him know the good news, okay?”

You nodded with a meek “okay,” and tried to go on with the rest of your day as if you weren’t wracked with fear, excitement, concern over your excitement. You were on edge all day, and nearly jumped out of you seat when you were called to the office over the speakers about 5 minutes to the end of your last class. You swallowed anxiously, collecting your things and trying to ignore the “ooo”s over you being summoned to the principal’s office—assuming you were in trouble.

You trudged towards your destination, pausing when you spotted him slack in one of the chairs by the front desk that he frequented more than anyone else. You considered running in the opposite direction and making up some lie to Ms. O’Donnell the next day, but then Mrs. White beamed at you after happening to glance away from her clunky typewriter.

“Miss Y/L/N! Come on in, dear.” She spoke cheerfully in a way that went through you sideways. Eddie’s eyes shot up to you, smirking around the fingernail he was chewing at and clearly considering spitting it at you if Mrs. White hadn’t been paying attention. You toyed with the ends of your sleeves anxiously, listening to Mrs. White discuss the details Ms. O’Donnell had ready. What topics to go over (which was just about everything). How many times per week she wanted you to tutor him (at least once/week). The only thing left out was when and where.

“Oh that’s up to you two, hon.” She chirped. “Just compare your schedules.”

“It’s not in school? With a teacher around?” You questioned anxiously, but she was oblivious to your worries.

“Nope, no need for supervision. We like to give the tutors space from the teachers while they work with others, we find that the students that need help take to that better.”

“Sure do.” Eddie spoke up, and you nearly flinched at how close he sounded. You glanced over and he must’ve just gotten out of the hard plastic chair cause he was slightly leaned back to give his body a stretch causing his chest to puff out a little, his hands moving to rest by his hips as he tugged his jeans up.

“What? Scared of me ‘r somethin’?” He whispered playfully, a hand moving up to rest over his heart as he feigned offense before his act melted away to show his usual smirk. He winked at you, and you swallowed nervously as you looked back at Mrs. White again who was blissfully unaware of his malevolence.

“So here you go… those worksheets and… a time sheet.” The woman grinned as she placed the last paper on top before sliding everything over. “You just have to add the dates that you study together, and you both have to sign each time. Ms. O’Donnell said writing a quick synopsis of what you went over would be nice too, but not necessary. The most important thing is seeing a difference in Mr. Munson’s grades.”

“Sounds good to me, Pam.” Eddie smiled at Mrs. White whose sunny demeanor sunk into a more serious expression while you put the papers away neatly in one of your folders.

“What have we talked about, Mr. Munson? Use my first name again and you’ll find your butt in detention this Saturday for such disrespect. Again.”

He puts his hands up as if apologizing for his actions, but he was still grinning ear to ear. Mrs. White eyed him with a tight lipped scowl, then looked at you.

“Good luck.”

You were gonna need it.

*

The ride to your house in his rusty van was surprisingly quiet beyond his music. You were on edge which he enjoyed like always, but he was clearly saving the torment for when he was inside your home. You wished your parents were home, even if they were tucked away in another room, but they were both gone for the weekend to attend your Aunt’s wedding. Not that you’d let him know that.

“We’ll be studying in the dining room. And no funny business. My dad’s in his office and he doesn’t like being disturbed while he’s working.” You lied seamlessly, making your way over to the dining table, Eddie lazily sauntering along.

“Oo does daddy have a temper?” He teased in a whisper. “Gonna come out and spank you if you bother him too much?”

He gave you a mocking pout and your face scrunched up with irritation.

“Just sit so we can get this over with.”

“I’m sorry are you under the false impression that you’re in charge here, doll face?” He questioned, keeping his anger mostly disguised by his inquisitive tone.

“Well, I’m the tutor so-“ You scoff out, avoiding looking at him as you pulled all of your study materials from your bag.

“Yeah and that means something to me because…?” He drew out his last word as he spun on his heels and casually walked away.

“I- what-“ You sputtered. “What are you doing?”

“You know it’s awfully rude to have a guest and not give them a tour of the place.” He spoke casually, grabbing the ends of picture frames hanging on the walls to get a better look at them before letting them drop back again. You were hot on his heels, fixing every frame he left crooked. He paused at a picture of you from camp in a bikini with some of the friends you made that summer, smug and sucking at his teeth a little as he eyed the image of you.

“Real cute…still got it?” He looked over at you, his hair shifting over his shoulder as he eyed you. “Wanna model it for me? Make all this worth my while?”

Your cheeks were starting to turn pink.

“We have to study.”

“Eh.” He shrugs, and looks over to spot the staircase behind him. He slunk around the corner and made his way up the carpeted steps.

“Hey- hey! You’re not allowed up there!” You shout after him, rushing to follow after him. He was already on the second floor when he turned and shushed you.

“Don’t wanna make daddy angry, right? He’s hard at work if I’m remembering correctly.” He whispered with a joking concern for your father’s focus who wasn’t even here, and you worried he knew that. He continued on along the hallway and you stayed behind him, wishing there was something you could do to get him to stop. He opened doors along the way, inspecting the interior with a mild curiosity. The upstairs bathroom. Your parent’s room. The spare bedroom. Then-

“Ah, here we are.” Your bedroom at the end of the hall.

“Please get out of my room.” You pleaded, but he continued on his quest. He looked at the makeup on your vanity, toppling some of the products over like a careless cat before moving on. He toyed with any photos in your room, sniffed at the perfume bottles on your dresser.

“Eddie-“ You started, clenching your jaw as he found the perfume you wore the most often and sprayed some of it on the crotch of his jeans. Then he just kept a hold on it as he waltzed around your room, spraying it several times just to waste your favorite product.

“That’s rude.” You spoke up, your lips pouting slightly. He snickered at your comment, how you sounded like a wronged child.

“Aw well if you need to touch up your perfume at all, you know where to get it.” He grinned, pointing to his groin before continuing to go through your things. The concept was strange but still made you clench simply from the thought of having to rub at his bulge to get something you wanted. He didn’t waste that much of your fragrance, but the idea was still burning in your mind.

He muttered disapproving comments at the posters on your walls and the cassettes he rummaged through until he got bored. You were nervous about interfering even as he invaded your privacy, until he was opening your top drawer to go through your panties and bras.

“Hey! That’s too far!” You gasp, rushing over to slam the drawer closed again. He shoved you back and opened it again.

“Quit being so fucking uptight.”

“Quit going through things that don’t belong to you!” You talked back which was still surprising him every time you did, but certainly didn’t let it show.

“Yeah well quit pissing me off before I put you in your fucking place.” He seethes, giving you an angry warning look that felt like fire all over you. You wanted to cry, to tell him to stop being so mean to you, but it would be useless. You’d just end up feeling pathetic as he laughed over your misery. You just had to stand there and watch as he kept going through your underwear drawer.

“Ooh, cute. I don’t think I’ve seen these yet.” He clicked his tongue and blew out an impressed breath as he held up a black lacy number. “‘d love to leave some stains on these for you, doll face.”

“You’re disgusting.” You blurt out, but the thought of his cum spurting onto your new pair of panties made you feel warm. He smirked at your frustration, tucking the underwear into his pocket.

“Those are new!”

He shrugs, shoving the drawer closed again with enough careless force to knock over a picture frame perched on top. He doesn’t seem to care until he’s spinning around with his finger pointed at you and that wicked look on his face.

“You know what, though? You bring up a great point.” He tugs the lace from his pocket and holds it up to his nose before letting out a disappointed sigh. “Now that’s a problem. Still smell like whatever cutesy store you got ‘em from.”

You have a moment of hope that he’s trying to be nice and provide an opportunity to give them back to you, even if he’s going about it in a dirty way. But that doesn’t last long, even when he’s tossing them back to you.

“Why don’t you put ‘m on for me, huh? Then when you give ‘em to me on my way out I’ll have proof of how fucking wet I get you.” He spoke so smoothly as he got closer to you, that it almost blanketed the filth of his words as something soft or even sweet.

“As if.” You scoff out in a huff, and there’s a fury to his gaze that you don’t understand.

“Yeah… as if.” He murmurs darkly, getting closer to you. You swallow nervously and take a step back. “Cause fuck me, right? I’m just some good-for-nothing asshole who you wouldn’t give the time of day. Not a priss like you.”

“I-I’m not a-“

“Oh dad!” He’s suddenly shouting at the top of his lungs in a sing-song manner, his body whipped around to face your doorway, and your eyes go wide.

“Stop-“

“Hey! I just wanna meet Mr. Y/L/N! Spending time with your lovely daughter!” He spoke with a passionate respect that you knew was coming from a hateful place. He had gone to your doorframe and was listening for any kind of response. A verbal acknowledgement. The sound of steps or creaking floorboards to tell him there was actually going to be someone to confront him.

His grin became devious as he went to the steps again. “Hello?” He calls, dragging out that last vowel.

“Will you quit it!” You hiss, tears prickling at your eyes now at the thought of him realizing you were all alone. Just you and him. And that you had lied to him.

He was turning around, sure now that the only people in this house were you and him. His dimples were pushing into his cheeks again as he sucked at his teeth, approaching you at the doorway to your bedroom like a cocky killer. The kind that you saw in horror movies that knew they had their prey cornered and could have some fun with it.

Out of nerves and a need to keep a barrier between the two of you, you took a quick step back and went to slam your door shut so you could lock it, but he got there in time to stop in with an outstretched arm. He pushed it open so harshly that you were sure there would be a dent in your wall where the doorknob was forced into it.

God, you couldn’t stand the way he looked right now. So proud. So smug. That shit-eating grin that told you he knew he was winning. That fury from before still lingering. He noticed the gloss to your eyes and tuts as a mocking pout reaches his lips.

“Upset about somethin’, doll? Someone got you all worked up?”

You huff out your nose, your lips screwed into a frown and your eyes still stinging with unshed tears.

“You’re so… so… mean! I hate you!” You shout, and without even realizing it you had stomped your foot at your last statement. It makes him pause, his expression unreadable for a moment as he considers everything until it all lands on amusement. He crosses his arms over his chest, grin wild and his hair flowing with him as he tilts his head with intrigue.

“Did you just stomp your foot at me, princess?” He teases, and your face feels so hot you wonder if he can see the flush of pink even through your foundation. He can. You refuse to answer him, fighting back the urge to fully cry in front of him. He’s getting closer though until he’s brushing up against you and looking down at you. God, he’s so warm.

“Aw… such a sensitive girl. Look at you.” He murmurs as he continues backing you two up until you’re pressed against the wall, one of those posters he disapproved of crinkling against your hair. He’s making fun of you like always but there’s a softness around the edges of his words. Blurred by a desire to do just about anything to you. He reaches his hand up to drag the pad of his thumb over your pouty lower lip before bringing his hand down to grasp you by your chin.

“Bet your pussy’s just as responsive as the rest of ya, huh?” He whispers as he makes you look up at him. Your nostrils flare momentarily and you keep looking up at him but you still won’t speak and you still won’t let those tears fall.

“I bet your cunt is just as weepy. All hot and wet when I’m fucking you into shape.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to refrain from whimpering or letting your lips part for a soft sigh. Anything that would confirm how badly you want him to figure out just how right he is. But then his anger flares back up as he’s gripping your jaw now, squeezing just enough to make it uncomfortable.

“Speak when you’re spoken to.” He demands in a low voice with a sort of growl to it that makes your knees weak. You part your lips as you consider answering him like you’re told, and he raises his brows while waiting. Then, in a brazen defiance, you spit in his face instead.

He’s so solid it’s almost like he doesn’t care. Not a flinch or a crack in his demeanor. Then he’s moving his hand from your jaw to your throat and gripping onto it enough that you gasp.

“I’ve been spat on my whole fucking life, you think that’s gonna make a difference here, princess? Think that’s gonna make me respect you? Think you’re brave?”

Your hands reach up to rest over his on your neck, a mewl vibrating from the back of your throat. He leans in closer to your face, your lips parting wider as he tightens his grip.

“It just makes me think you’re stupid.” He finishes before spitting directly into your open mouth. He’s releasing you from his grip right after, wiping your saliva from his cheek while you catch your breath. A soft moan escapes you before you can keep it at bay and his inflated ego is tangible. He’s eyeing you with a sort of amazed intrigue that pulls him back to you, his arms lifting to place his hands on the wall on either side of your head.

“You like it, don’t you?” He laughs and you shake your head furiously, but he isn’t buying it. “You could’ve gotten my ass suspended—hell, even expelled—ages ago. And yet…?”

“I just felt bad that you’re such a fucking idiot.“

“Dirty girl.” He hisses inward through his teeth as if burned by your words, but you were just egging him on.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” He wondered in a soft tone, hand back to your jaw as you stayed quiet. “Will you kiss daddy with that mouth?” He added with a lazy grin, exuding dominance and arrogance.

You became a little slack jawed at the implication, and he was on you. Hand still on your jaw, he pressed his lips to yours. You feigned protest at first with a few kicks and smacks, but then he had your wrists pinned against the wall and you sunk into the kiss. He kept you pinned for a few moments, until he was sure you were relaxed. He dropped his hands down to completely engulf your waist in his arms, and keep you pressed against him. The kiss was filthy with anger-fueled lust and slips of moans on your end and grunts from his.

“I hate you.” You whispered in between kisses, his hands moving to grip your ass now.

“Yeah you do.” He chuckled proudly against your lips before beginning to trail his lips down your jaw to your neck. Your eyes fluttered closed, hands settled on his muscular back as he sucked and bit at your neck, messy hair tickling you. More sounds slipped from you with no attempt to hold them back, a teary whimper hanging on your lips after he bit down on your neck hard enough to pull a yelp from you.

“Gonna mark you all up…” He muttered against your skin, making your head swirl.

“Gonna have you walking into school and have everyone know who you belong to.” He pulled back now, breathless and his full lips all pink with attention. His eyes were dark with lust, and it all made you whimper. The sound made him laugh in disbelief.

“Yeah? Such a slut. Bet you can’t wait to walk in with my hickeys all over you. Might even fuck you in the back of my van beforehand. Make you go to class full of my cum.”

You almost can’t believe him or yourself as you nod your head dumbly with a desperate pout. He groans at the sight and pulls you to him again, his lips back on yours as his hands reach down to hook under your thighs and lift you up. You’re quick to wrap your legs around his waist, a soft cry escaping when he starts grinding against you. He’s so hard and feels so pressed into his jeans, you’re both afraid and alight at the thought of just how big he probably is.

Eddie made his way over towards your bed until his legs made contact with your bed frame. He pulled away from the kiss to drop you on the bed carelessly. You lifted your torso up by digging your elbows back into your mattress, legs bent up at the knee and parted for him while you watched him undo his belt. He noticed you staring, and his gaze traveled along your form. Your knit sweater. Your pleated skirt.

“Take that shit off.” He said with a slight jut of his chin in the direction of your top, hands paused at the waist of his jeans and boxers. You hesitated at first, mostly at his hesitation to pull down his bottoms, but also out of nerves that your body wouldn’t be good enough. He made fun of you for just about everything. Surely he would tease you for that too.

“Did I fucking stutter?” His voice rose just a touch, his expression showing his impatience. At that your eyes went a bit wide again, and you lifted your sweater over your head and then the t-shirt you had on underneath. His hand was under his undone jeans, palming himself through his boxers as he looked over your naked torso.

“Bra too.” He murmured, and your nerves subsided from the way he looked at you. It was all hunger and lust and some impatience, but that was common. But no mockery. He wasn’t gearing up to make fun of your body cause he’s been waiting to see it. It was even better than he imagined, and he stopped a groan in his throat when you unclasped your bra and put it off to the side.

“Fuck…” He sighed out, squeezing his hard cock in his fist. You arched your back, which he initially enjoyed, until he realized your hand was moving to unzip the back of your skirt.

“Hey.” His harsh tone broke through, his free hand slapping your thigh. “Did I say take the skirt off?”

Your lips parted, and he jerked his head forward with a wide, frustrated gaze. It was as if he was saying “Hello? Earth to Y/N?”

He rolled his eyes as you shook your head no, and moved your hands away. He muttered under his breath and settled himself between your legs before deciding you weren’t close enough. His hands grasped your thighs to pull you closer, a surprised giggle bubbling in your chest from the action. He didn’t acknowledge it because he was trying to not let it show that it made him want to smirk. Just like when you get all teary-eyed. Or stomp your feet. Or finally get enough nerve to talk back. Even getting a giggle out of you made him smug, despite the fact that he had only ever seemed to enjoy making you miserable.

Eddie flips your skirt up onto your stomach, licking his lips at the sight of the light blue cotton panties he had already seen in the lunch line today. He finally tugged his jeans and boxers down below his balls, and started pumping his dick in his hand. Your nerves lit up at the sight of it—thick and with a bit of a curve to it. You wanted to see more of him, but the likelihood of that was slim to none. He enjoyed the control he had in this relationship, and that meant he liked having you almost completely naked in front of him while he was practically still dressed. He smirked as pre-cum beaded up on his tip and let it drip onto the fabric of your underwear. He dipped down to drag his tip along your covered slit to make a mess of your panties with his pre-cum. You inhaled sharply at the feeling, biting the inside of your lip whenever he nudged your clit.

“I like these panties…” You complained, knowing how much better it would be for him to ruin a pair of underwear you love.

“Aw…” He tutted, leaning over you as he mimicked the pout on your lips. “Don’t tell me that cause then I might have to cum all over them. ‘N I thought you wanted it inside.”

You mewled again, nodding your head which he mimicked too. The little shake of your head, the sound you made.

“Such a whiny, needy girl.” He said as if he cared. He hooked a finger under your panties and tugged at them, fighting the fabric over your legs one handed before holding them up to his nose. His eyes were trained on the sight of your sopping pussy as he breathed in, his cock twitching in his fist. He cursed under his breath, only pulling the fisted cloth away to stuff into his back pocket. His now free hand moved forward to drag his fingers through your slit, proud to feel how soaked and puffy you were already.

“You a virgin, doll?” He purred, tilting his head with a sickeningly sweet grin, the curled corners of his lips devilish. It was saccharine and mean. He figured you’d say yes because no one at school seemed to want you, but then you shook your head.

You lost your virginity at that summer camp you were at in the picture he was ogling earlier. It was awkward and felt strange, and you didn’t have much experience beyond that, but you weren’t a virgin. You thought he’d like you better this way anyways, already ready for him to fuck, but it ticked him off.

“No?” He asked, pushing two thick fingers into your cunt and making you gasp. The pressure on that sweet spot right at your entrance was buzzing with pleasure, but it still ached a little. “Guess you’re the little slut I always thought you were, hm?”

He was pushing his fingers in deep and curling them up into that spongy spot that made you whine and your thighs tremble.

“Who is he?” Eddie urged, his expression back to the irritation you were familiar with. You weren’t answering, all of your focus on his thick fingers and the rings that adorned them pinching the edge of your entrance.

“Who. Is. He?” He repeated, moving his face a bit closer to yours in bursts with every word, his head tilting to the left then to the right then back to the left to punctuate his words. He was slowing it down for you like you were dumb, and his fingers stopped moving—all of this making you huff.

“No one-“ You whine hopelessly, and he was starting to pull his hand away but you shot yours out to grip his wrist and keep his fingers deep between your legs. “No one, no one important.” You continued. “It was at summer camp, he’s not even from here. Please-“ you nearly sobbed, and it was enough to make the man groan as he leaned over you.

“Oh… please what, doll face?” He murmured, hand that had just been wrapped around his dick sinking the mattress down beside your head.

“Please- please don’t stop.” You whimper softly and he smiles sweetly down at you while pulling his hand away anyways. It was just for a second, enough to make you want to cry, but then he was plunging them back into your fluttering hole again. He added a third finger, barely giving you even enough time to enjoy the first two, the stretch making your lips part a little.

“God, you’re desperate.” He snorted, his hand angling a bit differently to let his thumb catch your clit. He watched with pride as your head tilted back and your back arched. Your thighs kept twitching and your walls were clamping down around his fingers more and more—he could tell you were close.

“Eddie…” You drawled, breath catching as your body braced itself for the mind-altering pleasure of your orgasm, but just as you approached the top—he pulled his hand away. You let out a distressed cry that made him laugh. He cooed at you, his hand that had been pumping his cock moving to rest on your cheek. Knowing where it had been made it even better, made it filthier. It made you wonder how many times he had just touched his dick before touching you.

“That’s for letting some random loser fuck you.” He whispered after leaning down so close that his nose was occasionally brushing against yours.

“‘m sorry…” You whine, tears of pleasure and pain having already slid down from your eyes and back towards your ears—leaving your hair damp and cold.

“You’re sorry, what?” He urged, nudging his tip against your folds.

“I’m sorry I let someone else take my virginity.” You were a blubbering mess, teary-eyed and needy.

“You’re gonna make up for it, though, right?” He purred, his tip already pressing into you and you nodded enthusiastically with a cry, your hips twitching forward.

“That’s my girl.”

Your lips parted, your lower lip quivering when he pushed into you until his hips were flush with your ass. You let out a sort of choked whimper and he groaned.

“Fuck you’re tight…” He sighed with content, sliding back before sinking back in until his tip was kissing your cervix. “Not even a virgin and I’m still gonna have to work to split this cunt open, huh?”

He was grinning again over that, over the grip your walls had on him from such a foreign stretch. It ached in the best way possible except for the occasional thrust that pinched and made you yelp out a small “ow.”

“S-so big… you’re so big…” You babble, your mind fuzzy. Your pupils were all blown out and you watched him fuck into you like it was the best dream you ever had. You eventually tilt your head back, letting out a happy hum as your hips push outward to feel him as deeply and as harshly as possible. He mimicked the sounds you made and the expressions you made from his thick cock hitting all the right places and stretching you enough that you knew you were going to be sore. All day tomorrow you were going to get brief pangs of aching that would remind you of how full you were of Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. He was all you could focus on, and you didn’t even realize you had been whimpering his name over and over under your breath until he made fun of you for it.

“Fuck you.” You huffed defensively, only for his amusement to bolster.

“Ha!” He cackled right in your face as you looked up at him with glossy eyes, pink cheeks and pouty lips. “Already are, sweetheart.”

Soon enough your sounds annoyed him though, especially the more demanding they got. Harder. Faster. Slower. More. Please. So he flipped you over onto your stomach and had his hand on your head to press your cheek into the mattress as he mounted you again—all with a casual “God, just shut up.”

At this new angle he was driving into you with a force that reverberated throughout your whole body every time he slammed into your cervix or that gushy part of you. You felt dizzy and breathless, every stroke of his cock against your ridged walls shooting off sparks. After being so close just from his hand to now, you were steadily approaching an orgasm again—just praying he’d let you keep it this time. He must’ve noticed because his free hand was reaching down to rub your clit. Your eyelids fluttered, a sob being muffled by the comforter you were biting down on. The sound of skin smacking, the tired springs of your bed squeaking, Eddie’s panting and grunting, the chain of his wallet clinking every now and then, the wet and pornographic sound of his cock plunging in and out of your pussy—it all seemed so loud for a second and then felt muffled the next as you came undone around him. You moaned out his name, whimpering cries on the tail end. You could feel your walls fluttering around him, clamping down and then blossoming back open then clamping down again in a mind-swirling rhythm.

“That’s a good girl…” He purred in a way that might’ve been too sweet from him if it wasn’t laced with a condescending tone. “Gonna cum in you, ‘kay?”

“Uh-huh-“ You moan, body aching as he picks up the pace again, fingers tangled in your hair with a painful grip. You can’t see him, but his head is tilted back completely blissed out as he fucks into you. You felt amazing, even better than he imagined which was pretty damn astonishing considering the pedestal he already had your pussy on in his imagination. He was so close, and a brief thought of getting you pregnant nearly sent him over the edge. He was mean. So fucking mean. That was the most devious thing he could do. Fill you up and make you all round with his kid.

“Shit-“ He pants out. “Gonna fill you up, babe.”

“Please-“ You beg, pulling an incredulous chuckle from him.

“Such a good girl… always take everything I give her.” He breathes out, leaning down to trap your body between him and your bed, his hand moving your hair away from your face. “Takes everything I give her at school, and she’s gonna take everything I give her in her bed, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, please-“ You sob, gasping out with the next few sharp thrusts against you until there was this warm feeling blooming inside you as he groaned against your back. He gave a few more thrusts after cumming inside, letting out happy puffs of air. You remembered how content that guy was when he unloaded into his condom inside you in camp. That blissful look on his face before he pecked your lips then lied next to you. Eddie didn’t bother with a condom, didn’t press a little peck to your lips and he wasn’t so quick to pull out either. When you squirmed a little he shifted so he was pushed up deeper into you, pulling a gasp from you which made him smirk against your skin.

Eventually he leaned up to bite your shoulder and then he slid out of you. You were still a little out of it, purring out a whiny hum as you nuzzled your quilt. Your legs were still spread and slightly bent up while you laid there on your stomach, and as he adjusted his softening dick back into his boxers he saw his cum slowly started to seep out of you and onto your comforter. Ever the gentleman, once his pants were zipped back up and his belt was buckled he landed his palm on your ass cheek and turned you over as you huffed over the action.

“See you Monday.”

“But we… we have to…” You fought to find your words through the haze. Study. You had to study.

“Bye, doll face!” He called out as he made his way downstairs.

You pouted a little, wanting to beg him to come back and stay with you. Maybe even go another round, but you were so spent that you just laid there.

When you got your energy back enough to force you to get up, you went to pee and clean yourself up before heading downstairs. Unsure of what to do with yourself, you made your way over to your backpack and you spotted the writing on the time sheet. A smile tugged at your lips. Instead of the date he wrote his phone number, and for the synopsis of today’s tutoring session he wrote “sex ed” with a winky face, and then signed where he was supposed to.

God, you were so fucked. And you were going to need a new time sheet.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

Prewar!Cooper told Barb that one of his favorite things about her was the fact that she always tries to do the right thing. The Ghoul is entertained by Lucy's "goody two-shoes" thing, at first, but is clearly very deeply impacted by the kindness that she shows him outside the Super Duper Mart.

Cooper Howard obviously likes good girls...corruption kink, anyone?

Prewar!Cooper would be sweet about it, even gentlemanly. He'd be respectful, slowly warming you up to all these ideas that you've never even heard of before. Of course, you trust him implicitly, and you're happy to go where he guides you. He would get a sense of the things you're into, what your boundaries are, but once he knew you well enough, he might start to nudge you in certain directions.

Taking you for a drive, his hand on your thigh slowly slipping higher until he's rubbing you through your underwear as you go along, working you up to an orgasm at a red light in full public view, completely aware that everyone can tell what's happening. Going for a long walk in a nice park and pulling you into the bushes for "a few smooches" that turn into you deep-throating his cock until you almost pass out. Pushing you into poorly soundproofed closets at fancy parties to turn you into a squealing mess on the end of his cock, too loud for others to not hear. It's all so addictive and you're powerless to stop yourself from giving into him wherever and whenever, slowly turning you into a little exhibitionist because he thinks it's hot.

"Oh, I know how much you like this, sweetheart...what if I tried this? Does that feel good? Sure seems like it does. You don't have to be embarrassed. I'll take care of you. You trust me, right, baby doll?"

The Ghoul would be...meaner. He's more the "don't ask for permission; beg for forgiveness" type, but without the begging part. He'd just go for things, watching in almost sadistic glee as your face would morph from shock to disgust to ashamed arousal. You would be able to sense something different in the air, but you never see his dirty tricks coming. Does this stop you from continuing to sleep with him as you trek the West together? Of course not. As much as you might hate him a little (or a lot) for it, he knows exactly what makes you tremble and beg for more, even as your face reddens and you struggle to look at him.

Sliding his tongue back to tease your asshole when he's eating you out like a man starved, laughing wickedly and holding your hands away when you try to stop him because 'That's so gross!', but soon your protests turn to wanton moans. Hell, sliding his thumb into your ass as he fucks you from behind, using the leverage to bounce you harder on his hips, the sensation amazing despite how humiliating it feels. The next time he fucks you that way, you whimper out a little plea for him to do it again. Making you beg him to spit in your mouth as you near your orgasm until he no longer has to prompt you, you simply open your mouth. He gets off on getting you to request (or even beg for) disgusting treatment.

"Oh, did you not like that? With the way this greedy little cunt is reacting, I'd say you liked it. I mean...if you didn't, I suppose I can quit. Hmm? You want me to keep doing it? What a nasty little freak, gettin' off on this. Maybe if you ask pretty, darlin'..."

[janeyseymour]

Longing Looks and Stolen Glances- pt 2

part 1.

This was requested a long time ago by @theboreworms and honestly, let me know if you want to see a part 3!

Summary: Your coworkers react to you getting engaged, and you're forced to explain how it happened.

WC: ~1.75k

“You got engaged?” Your coworkers all shout at you.

“Melissa Schemmenti,” Barbara admonishes. “You don’t even tell me, your work wife, that you are romantically involved with someone, and then you walk in engaged?!”

“Surprise?” you try to smooth over. It doesn’t work very well. Your coworkers continue to flounder for words at this news.

Before you can stop them, Jacob and Janine grab for your left hand to inspect the beautiful engagement ring that is now sitting on your finger. It sparkles as the sunlight hits it perfectly.

“Holy shit,” Mr. Johnson lets out as he gets a glance at the ring. “Damn, Red. You did good with that one.”

Your fiancee can’t help the pride on her face.

“Well, I expect to hear all about this now,” the kindergarten teacher hits the two of you with pointed looks.

So, with a sigh, you divulge into the story of how the two of you got together. “One of the camera men was innocently flirting with me.” Green eyes glare at the camera man in question. “And I guess this one got jealous, because the next thing I know, she’s storming into my room and is kissing me.”

“They all knew we were dancing around each other and took matters into their own hands,” the redhead rolls her eyes. “And the only reason I was okay with their meddlin’ is because I got the girl in the end.”

“We started dating quietly, no one knowing except for the camera crew because they had to,” you state.

“And I swore them to secrecy,” Melissa sighs. “Ain’t nobody need to know our business until we were ready.”

“And then… it just became kind of normal, and we forgot to tell youse,” you smile apologetically.

“How do you forget something like that?” Barbara rolls her eyes. “I assume the two of you are moving in together?”

You bite your lip. “Do you remember when I was moving about a year ago?” you ask sheepishly.

“You moved in with Mel Mel?” the redhead’s former roommate asks, brows about as high as they’ll go.

“I did,” you smile shyly. 

“I thought you said you was never gettin’ married again,” Ava states. “Full of shit.”

Your fiancee looks to you. “I think I said it would take a freakin’ miracle, and… Y/N is that miracle for me.”

“Well,” Janine bounces back and forth on her toes in excitement. “How’d it happen? And when is the wedding? And are we all invited? Ooh, is Barb going to be in the-”

“Slow your roll, pipsqueak,” Melissa chuckles with a roll of her eyes. “One question at a time.”

“How’d you get engaged?”

It honestly wasn’t that much different than any other day in your lives. The two of you had woken up yesterday morning and gotten ready for school as you usually would. Melissa made breakfast, and the two of you enjoyed your meal and hot beverages in a peaceful bliss before you had to head out to school. She drove the two of you in, hands resting intertwined on the center console. You sang along to the radio, and it took everything in your girlfriend to not get distracted by your absolute beauty. The school day went on as it usually does, if not filled with more chaos than usual. And when it was time for the teachers to head out for the day, you were stuck prepping for the next day as usual. You’re the last teachers to leave. That isn’t uncommon, so most teachers don’t know that you come in and leave together anyway. But, even those who do know that you live relatively close to each other, so you often carpool (they don’t realize that you actually live together). Dinner was lovely as always, and the wine that was paired with your meal was absolutely perfect. The two of you cleaned up, changed into more comfortable clothes to lounge around in, and then settled on the couch for some relaxation time with another glass of wine and some homemade tiramisu from the night before. You’re watching some corny show about love that the two of you love to indulge in secretly.

“This show gives such unrealistic expectations of love,” you sigh out as you settle a hand on her knee.

Melissa brings a spoonful of the sweet dessert to your mouth, and you smile softly. “What do you mean, hun?”

“They show all the glitz and the glamour and all of that shit,” you chuckle. “But they don’t want to show the everyday realness of the dates that people go on, or the nights in. They don’t show the harder moments. They only want to show the fireworks of a relationship.”

“I guess you’re right,” your girlfriend laughs as she takes her own mouthful of the tiramisu.

You kiss her softly. “Like, I get it… I just think they skew people’s perception of what love is.”

“Do you think we have a realistic love?”

You nod. “Of course I do. We’ve had our own firework moments, but some of the best moments are the everyday life moments.”

“Like?”

“Like… our drives to and from work, or just out to a plain and simple coffee shop where we both focus on getting papers done. Or when we cook dinner together and dance around like fools.”

“Do you miss the big firework moments?”

“Lissa,” you turn to her with warm eyes. “I love everything about our relationship. You know that.”

“You’re not going to miss the engagement, and all of the things that come with a wedding?” she asks you hesitantly.

“When we started dating, I told you that I don’t need all that stuff,” you tell her honestly. “A life with you is complete, whether we have the rings and the piece of paper or not.”

“But like, when you were younger, you dreamed of being married with kids,” your girlfriend says softly.

“I did,” you admit. “But then I met you, and none of that mattered anymore.”

Before you know what she’s doing, Melissa is off the couch and on the ground, propped on one knee. She takes your hands in her own. “Marry me.”

Your eyes go wide. This was not what you were expecting tonight. “Lis, what?”

“Marry me,” she says again. “You’re worth all of my doubts and fears. You’re worth the harassment we’ll get from the group for getting me to change my mind on it all.”

“Mel, you don’t have to do this,” you tell her as you try to get her to get off of her bad knee. And why she chose to kneel down on the knee that she’s always rubbing at is beyond you. “You don’t have to do this because you think it’s what I want.”

“I want this,” she tells you finitely, continuing to kneel. Then she jumps up. “Hold on.”

Your girlfriend runs up the steps and races back down before kneeling back down in front of you and opening a beautiful ring box. “Does this prove to you that I want this? Marry me.”

You look into her eyes for any hints that she’s feeling pressured to do this- that this isn’t what she truly wants. But… for a brief second you think about the fact that you didn’t even know she had gone ring shopping- that you haven’t spoken about marriage in any certain ways since things started to get serious between the two of you.

To your girlfriend, those few moments where you don’t say anything feel like a lifetime, and she almost stands from her place and tells you to forget she ever said anything. Before she can though, you capture her lips.

“Yes,” you mumble against them as you pull her off her knee and onto the couch. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”

The redhead smiles into the kiss, and when you pull away she slips the ring onto your finger with shaky hands. “Really?”

You don’t even look at the ring before you place your hand on her cheek and wipe away the tear that threatens to escape from her face before nodding and kissing her again, nodding.

Only once you’ve pulled away for a second time do you take a gander at the ring. It’s stunning, and yet it’s so simple and screams you. 

“It’s beautiful,” you whisper as you admire the sparkling rock that now sits upon your finger. “When did you get this?”

She takes your hand in her own and runs her thumb along your knuckles. “A couple months ago, I started thinkin’ more seriously about us. How I always said it would take a freaking miracle for me to even consider gettin’ married again, and how you happily accepted that answer despite your own desires. I got it about a month ago, and I’ve been thinkin’ about the perfect way to propose, but… I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“This was the perfect way to propose,” you tell her quietly. “Just us alone, in the peace and quiet of our own house. I told you, I don’t need the fireworks to know that I am the happiest I could be with you.”

The entire staff is looking at you with soft, warm eyes as they swoon at the way that the two of you got engaged. Barbara, for as annoyed as she looked when the two of you revealed that you were not only together- but engaged to be married, looks thrilled for the two of you. She nudges her work wife gently.

“Look at you, getting married again,” the kindergarten teacher smiles.

Your favorite green eyes are rolled as Melissa grabs your hand softly and kisses your knuckles.

Janine and Jacob, in their trademarked fashion, begin to bombard the two of you with more questions, but your girlfriend simply puts up her hand to signal them to stop.

“As much as you know I would love to answer all of your questions,” your now fiancee says, sarcasm dripping in her voice. “The lady and I have to get down to our classrooms to prep for today, and hopefully start planning the first Abbott wedding.”

The group immediately starts to protest, but Melissa simply picks up her coffee cup, gestures for you to do the same, and pulls you away.

You throw them all a wink. “We’ll give you details today at lunch.”

“Babe!” Melissa groans.

tags: @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights

[pheonixgrave]

Ignore It (18+)

This is really my first time posting a story to here, I usually only do it to AO3, but this is what I made this account for. Might as well start using it?

WARNINGS: Heavy smut, corruption kink, mild blood kink? (not sure about that one) Fem Tav, hetero relationship, stress fucking, not beta'd, angst, use of cunt

Smut blow the cut, please enjoy!!

Trekking through the wilderness was exhausting as is. But the bickering? That was starting to drive Tav crazy. Vampire this. Shar that. Eating magic this. Demons that. It was always something else. No matter what she did, they were always at each other’s throats. Oh the irony in that. Maybe the Illithid worm wasn’t the worst thing. Maybe this, the arguing, was the worst thing to happen to her. If she had to hear any Githyanki phrases in the next thirty minutes, she might kill Lae’zel herself. Tav was at her wits end, ready to beat her head against the nearest tree just to see if that got rid of the tadpole. It would be a win-win if it also got everyone else to shut up. 

They didn’t even let up at camp. Sure, they all had their respective tents and spaces. But the glaring. Oh, the glaring! Not a moment of peace before bed. She sat near her bedroll, closer to the fire Gale had set up. A tankard in hand, her back to the more vocal members of the party. She could practically hear Lae’zel glaring at Astarion. And Shadowheart wasn't exactly quiet about her distaste for him either. It’s not like there was an Infernal being less than ten yards away from him. Or a Warlock just across the flames. 

She very quickly downed the rest of her drink before tossing the tankard near the flames. Curling up in her bedroll, she tried to block out all of the noise and barbed words. It was currently taking everything in her to not scream at her first three companions. They had all been through something insane and deadly. Why could they not have it in them to simply get along? It felt impossible. 

Fortunately, her sour mood was noticed by her party. Not that she’d realize it at the moment. The biggest point of contention, Astarion, managed to get the courage to walk up to their fearless, albeit grumpy, leader. He nudged her with his foot. Which he immediately realized was a bad decision. Taz shot up to meet his eyes in the blink of an eye. “What do you want?”

The bite in her voice was unmistakable. But he knew how to handle it. “I want-”

“Don’t bother,” she cut him off. She never cut him off. She was more than happy to let him talk at her sometimes. The final glare she gave him was intense as she stalked towards the lake, away from everybody else. Astarion watched her walk away. Did he only watch to see her hips sway? Absolutely. But that didn’t change the fact that the Bard needed to relax. He smiled to himself before following her. “Didn’t I say don’t bother? I’m not in the mood to be your midnight snack tonight.” 

He didn’t fail to match her step. “Why darling! Do you truly think so little of me?” He pouted. 

Tav just sighed, “Take your antics somewhere else for now, Astarion.”

“Will you just sit down?” He pushed on her shoulders, forcing her down.

Much to the rest of the party's dismay, she did trust the vampire. Whether that would lead her to her own doom was yet to be seen.

Her knees crumbled under the pressure as she fell on the ground. She shot another glare in his direction but that didn’t seem to dissuade him from his plan.

“You’ve been far too stressed today, darling.” He purred in her ear, his hands never leaving her shoulders. 

“Astarion?” He continued to move her body until she was on her stomach.

“Shhh, do you trust me?” Gods, that man was always far too much for Tav.

“Should I?”

He chuckled as he readjusted himself so he was sitting on the back of her thighs, straddling her. It took every ounce of self restraint he had to not immediately rub her ass. Gods, it always looked so perfect when she walked. He took a deep breath before applying pressure between her shoulder blades. He felt her body tense before slowly relaxing. 

It wasn’t what she expected. Was he giving her a massage? His hands worked slowly from the base of her neck to her waist. And-oh? Did she just moan? 

“It’s alright, my dear, I love hearing you.” He smirked before continuing his work. He continued like that for a few moments, just enjoying the little sounds she was making. “Let's get you out of these clothes, shall we?”

She pushed him off her, rolling on her back and sitting up. “So that’s what this was? Just an excuse to get me naked?” That fire was coming back.

“Darling, if I was trying to get into your pants, I’d try flattering you more first. Unfortunately, it is difficult to get this right over your clothes.” He sat next to her, staring out at the water, just watching the water crash against the coast. “I was taught how to do this a long, long time ago.”

She stared at the rogue before swallowing. The tips of her ears and the back of her neck were flushed. But she did trust him. He would say if this was untoward. Right? With a shaky breath, she sighed but said “Alright.” 

Astarion watched her shaky hands start to untie the little knots holding her bustier. His mouth started to water, but he had patience. As she shrugged the last of her tunic off, she covered her chest and turned the other way. He did manage to lay down her tunic so she wasn’t just laying on the dirt anymore. She laid herself in front of him. He could feel how shaky her breath still was as he climbed on top of her once more. 

He resumed his previous work, addressing the knots in her lower back. The elf’s skin was so soft, so warm. He found himself just getting lost in the feeling of someone trusting him. It was a strange feeling but a welcome one. 

Tav, on the other hand, was getting lost in his touch. His cold hands worked their way up her back and she liked it far more than she thought she would. What started off as little moans slowly became louder. It didn’t help that he was an expert with his hands. And her mind started to trail off to things that were unbecoming of a lady.

But Astarion could feel her thighs clench. No matter how she tried to move without him noticing too much. Gods, he could almost smell her arousal. Over 200 years old and here he was, still trying to keep himself from getting hard. But then she moaned his name. And what little restraint he had disappeared. He put his hands near her head before leaning down towards her ear. “This wasn’t an excuse to see you naked but you are making it very hard to not act on my…baser impulses, my dear.” He felt the shiver go down her spine. 

“Astarion,” she moaned again before grinding back on him. And she got what she wanted when he flipped her on her back without moving from his spot. And there she was, laid out in front of a vampire spawn with her chest bare. She looked up at him with wide eyes, unsure how to go from there. But him? He had far more experience than most. He moved faster than she thought. He captured her lips as he slotted himself between her thighs. And just like that, his hands were everywhere. 

It was like he couldn’t decide where he liked them best. Her throat? Her breasts? Her hips so he could grind against her? He just couldn’t decide. And she tried so hard to keep herself quiet. But then he moved his lips down her neck, his fangs brushing over the still healing marks from the night before. He thought about feeding for a moment, but something far more filling had his attention right now. He moved until he had her nipple in his mouth. Flicking the nub with his tongue, his hand went to massage the other one. He wasn’t gentle. No one that knew Astarion for who he was thought he was a gentle man. It was rough but Tav didn’t seem to mind. 

In fact, Tav seemed to love it. Her back arched into him. “Astarion!” And then her hands were on his shoulders, urging him downwards.

And he didn’t want to fight it. He kept moving, biting and nipping at her stomach. And then he got to her trousers. He sat up, panting and looking wild. His fangs were bared and he was panting hard. He threw her legs on his shoulders, tossing her loafers somewhere behind him. And then he went to work on the knots holding her trousers up. Which he made very quick work of. He shimmied them off her, making sure to keep her underwear on for a moment. He stripped off his shirt before returning to her mouth. 

He needed her. 

“Astarion, please, touch me.”

He was quick to snake his hand towards her cunt. And even quicker to find the spot that made her gasp into his mouth. Gods, he could do this forever. He made his way back to her neck, lapping over those same marks. Her hand tangled itself into his hair and the other gripped his shoulder with far more strength than he expected. His cold hands were a sharp contrast to the warmth of her. Her head was thrown back against the ground as she gasped for air. She was shaking. 

It was already so much for her. She had been so pent up and so angry. But the way he worked her clit? It was a way no one ever had before. Not even herself. In fact, no one had ever touched her like this before. Nothing past shy kisses or heady glances. If she had known, maybe she would have lived her life a little differently. 

But once her back arched and she cried out his name? She clenched around nothing. She felt so empty now and he hadn’t even gotten close yet. He chuckled as best he could, “Already, darling?” he muttered against her neck.

“I-” she gasped once he slid a finger inside her. “Astarion,” his name rolled off her tongue and he swore he wouldn’t mind hearing her do this forever. He could still feel her cunt clench around his fingers and he groaned. He couldn’t wait much longer but she was enjoying herself. “I’ve never-” he curled his finger before adding a second one. 

“You’ve never felt this good before?”

“Done this before,” she managed to gasp out before he curled his fingers again. 

His hands stalled for a moment and she whined. “I’m to be your first?” She nodded, wriggling her hips, trying to will him to move again. “My dear, why didn’t you say anything?” He removed his fingers and she cried out. “Shhh, I have to make a good first impression, don’t I?”

He practically ripped her underwear off. She was a virgin. He couldn’t lie that it made him even harder to think about being the only one who got to touch her. But he had to take care of her if he wanted to be the only one.

He buried his face in her cunt, holding her thighs open with his hands. Tav covered her mouth to hide her cries of his name. But it was his name on her lips. His fingers going right back inside her, where they belonged. His lips on her clit. He groaned again when she came, this time right on his face and hands. He lapped at her for a moment longer and started pistoning his fingers in and out. He couldn’t help but watch her cum make a mess of his fingers. 

“Astarion!” She cried as she came on his fingers yet again. “Please!”

“Please what, my dear?” He wiped her juices off his chin before closing the distance between them. His lips hovered over hers, those red eyes glazed over with a hunger. Her eyes fluttered open. She smiled at him, all too happy to offer herself to him. She bared her neck. And dive he did. His fangs pierced her neck once again as he drank. He knew better than to drink more than his share but he wanted nothing more than to keep drinking as she wrapped her bare legs around his waist and rubbed her cunt against the fabric of his trousers. He released her neck and practically shredded what was left of his clothing. 

He leaned back for a moment, taking in the sight. This elf, a noble from Waterdeep, was laid out before him. Freckles dotting her skin and her blonde hair spread out like a halo before him. It would be angelic if not for the blood slowly trickling out of her neck. “Astarion,” she whispered. Her voice was full of something he couldn’t quite place. Something he had pushed aside a long time ago. 

All he could do was nod before he lined himself up to her. As he slowly slid in, he swore that this was the closest he could get to heaven. 

Astarion wasn’t small. Tav could feel his cock stretching her cunt out. Why did no one ever tell her it could feel like this? She gripped his shoulders and wrapped her legs around him once more. She sighed as he finally finished. “Gods above, you’re amazing.” She whispered, almost too afraid to say it. Too afraid to say the other things on the tip of her tongue. Her eyes traveled down his body to where they were connected before looking back up at him. 

“Shit,” he panted, withholding every emotion that came flooding through him. Instead, he snaked a hand underneath her thigh, lifting it up before he began to thrust.

She thought just having her inside him felt amazing. But this angle had her barely able to breath. She threw her head back and arched into his body. It was all she could do to hold on to him as he upped his pace. Tav could barely gasp out his name as she tried to look at him. His eyes were shut and his hair was more than perfectly tousled. “Beautiful,” was all she could get out before she tightened around his cock. 

“Shit!” He followed closely behind her, seemingly unexpectedly. They laid there for a moment, just feeling each other before he slipped out of her. She cried, a palpable sense of emptiness. He watched her breath for a few moments longer, secretly enjoying his cum starting to drip out of her cunt. Normally, he’d leave. He’d get up, put his clothes back together and leave. But Tav? Something told him he couldn’t. So he grabbed his tunic and wrapped her in it before carrying her to the water. 

He tried not to notice her nuzzling his neck. He tried to ignore the praises she said. He tried desperately to ignore the draw she had on him. He tried to ignore her moan as he set her in the shallow water, gently taking his tunic off her shoulders. Instead, he sat next to her and let the water wash away the previous activities. 

[ginnysgraffiti]

Paul Atreides x reader? Where the reader does not believe in the prophecy of the Lisan-al-Gaib or in any god or Messiah that they say will come, to which Paul is interested in her but also feels anger because the reader does not show fear or submission, and when inquiring about why she has no faith in anything she reads or gods is because she went through many horrible things and when she prayed for it to be a nightmare but it never happened, and that's why she believes in nothing but herself.

thanks for the request! sorry if i hadn't answered before :(

PAUL ATREIDES x yn.

your people lived on arrakis under one name: the fremen. people who have inhabited arrakis for many millennia, originally arriving after an interplanetary diaspora.

your planet became the center of immense interests of the empire following the discovery of the powerful drug called melange or spice, capable of significantly extending the length of human life and increasing.

you have been trained in guerrilla warfare since childhood, reason why you're considered among the best fighters in the universe, the only ones capable of holding your own against even the emperor's ferocious sardaukar.

people can comfortably call you interstellar nomads who follow a particular philosophy, people who live together in desert tents and who are more like a big big family or army.

therefore, you don't hide the fact that you get along very well, despite the fact that fremen have challenging, ambitious characters, and you often want to prove our superiority by fighting or calling sandworms.

if someone has already heard the famous prophecy "blessed be the creator and his water" well, that's you, these are the fremen. that's your prophecy or the thing people think you believe in. or at least, your people believe in.

you worship shai-hulud, the sand worm, a gigantic and dangerous creature that populates the deserts of arrakis and is the source of the spice cycle. your religion, like almost all those of the primitive worlds of the empire, was profoundly influenced by the bene gesserit missionaria protectiva.

if you ask stilgar, he will answer you by saying he believes in the arrival of the messiah, of the lisan al-gaib. so please, don't ask stilgar.

lisan al-gaib, in your fremen language, "the voice from the outside world".

in later use the name messiah specializes to indicate the "anointed one" par excellence, sent as a savior of the fremen, the chosen people, and to turn the desert into the green paradise it used to be. this is how stilgar would happily explain it to others.

bullshit.

the biggest lie you've ever heard.

you have waited ages for the messiah, and the only conclusion you managed to get was that even foreign people made fun of you all by saying they were the famous messiah you had been waiting for. really funny, right...

"the walker of the golden path" they say, just they don't know how much you have suffered or how different you feel about your people's adamant beliefs.

you know paul since a few weeks, and you hated every second of it, and you knew he did too.

at first you avoided him, dodged him or threatened him with your eyes as if he were an harkonnen. or, if you were in a bad mood, you ignored him completely, especially when he entertained stilgar with inappropriate and absolutely not funny jokes but that made the whole for-dinner-tent laugh.

you knew that everyone was at his feet, that they would even lick the sand he walked on.

you often heard your fremen friends talking or chatting about him, and you could have sworn some of them even wondered out loud of it would be to have sex with him.

you had never thought of paul as someone to have sex with, mostly because you hated him on principle.

for the first week you loved showing off your fighting moves when he looked, or throwing barbs at him to shut him up.

you knew that he was intimidated but also angry towards you, that he was curious about your people, and therefore you could show yourself superior anyway. you wanted to crush it like a desert fly and rejoice while it dies under your sole.

then, everything changed.

it was afternoon, and the wind was gently blowing, but not enough to make the sand rise.

he was a little too snuggled up next to you, on the highest dune you could reach from the fremen camp.

at first, you didn't even like the idea of starting a conversation, but paul was the one who talked first.

he told you about his visions first, about his nightmare correlated, about the mental torture he had to kneel upon when he used to live on caladan, because everyone thought he was the kwisatz haderach.

he told you about his training, his father's death and how he felt so alone, abandoned by the little people he loved and betrayed by the ones he barely knew.

something about it woke up a new feeling inside your chest. you felt understood.

and he was not there forcing you to go on your knees and pray the messiah and his rise to power.

he was simply chatting, his eyes almost tearing, playing with some sand in his right hand.

he wanted to understand you, to understand why you were the only one who refused to believe the prophecy and yet the only one who captured your attention.

your mind returned to the morning where a few of your friends wished to have sex with him, but right in that moment, when the sun was melting under the dunes, far away, you could only wonder how plump and soft his lips could become against yours.

that same evening, you got confirmed paul atreides was the best kisser you had ever known.

in your tent, with a slight scent of spice and body

skin and sweat, he held you close as if you were

his only lifeline, as if you were about to become

small microscopic grains of sand, and he would no longer be able to hold the right ones in his hands.

you stood there, under his slim and perfect body, stroking his curls in a slow and sleepy gesture, until he closed his eyes and let his cheek rest against your breasts.

messiah or not, you believe he was the love of your life.

[cosmicstarlatte]

You ARE The Father! (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

After getting back to the human world you realized you were pregnant. You decided to keep it a secret during your relationship. After having the baby/babies for a few weeks, you finally decide to tell your demon baby daddy.

»Characters: Demon bros // -> [Part 2: Dateables] Now available!

»Tags: Female reader/MC, Unplanned pregnancy, Humor/fluff, Bulleted Style Fic

»Note: Sorry it's kind of long. Also I imagine the babies all heavily resemble their dads. 🥺♡ I might make a part two with Diavolo and Barbatos but they will be short stories. Well, maybe. Lol

Lucifer:

"That's not funny."

Didn't believe you because how could you keep that sort of secret for months from him

You sent him a photo of you holding a very unamused baby boy with black hair and red eyes

The Avatar of Pride has fainted. I repeat, he has fainted

Didn't pack or say anything to his brothers once he woke up, he just bolted out the house to find a magic seal to travel to the human realm

Quickly let Diavolo know why he canceled their meeting whilst on the way to you

He arrived disheveled, man was sweating lol

Anyway he immediately reached for his child and cradled him

His baby's horns and wings popped out!

Barely wanted to talk to you at first, you wounded his pride...Did you think him unfit? Did you think he wouldn't accept?

He would've been there for you no matter what, it pained him that you went through everything alone

Promised to be there from now on

He hugged you and the baby "...I love you two. ♡ Come live with me. You two won't ever be in need."

Dia and Barb visited shortly to see Luci's baby!

His baby slapped everyone in the face at some point

Mammon:

"Ha! That's a good one! I always loved ya sense of humor!"

Really thought it was a joke

You decided to surprise him in person instead

You got permission from Dia to visit

You had only told Lucifer ahead of time about the surprise visit but not why

When you knocked on the door holding the white-haired baby girl Lucifer had to do a double take

"Is this..."

He smiled and excitedly held her for a minute before returning her

"Excuse me" Lucifer said as he closed the door

"MAMMOOOOOOOOON!!!"

yeah the baby started crying

You could hear the loud commotion inside

The door swung open and Mammon stared in shock along with the rest of the family behind him

"YA WERENT JOKING!? GUYS...GUYS!! I'M A DAD!!"

He cuddled his baby girl and gave her so many kisses

You guessed it, the baby sprouted horns and wings after being held by him

Was upset at himself for thinking you were joking

He demanded you move in right away

"Nothin' will break this family. I got ya both! Daddy will take care of y'all! "♡

His baby girl managed to grab his wallet and wouldn't let go

Levi:

"As if..."

Was skeptical...him? A dad? He always thought Mammon or Asmo would be first

He didn't know anything about being a dad but he was getting more excited the more he thought about it

You wouldn't lie to him about that right? RIGHT?

But why didn't you tell him sooner!? He could've been there for support like you always supported him!!

He texted you saying he would be visiting soon

He made a quick phone call to Dia for help getting to the human world

"Yeah let's not tell Lucifer yet heheheh"

He hurriedly grabbed a few figures and collectibles to go pawn off...kids are expensive!

After selling some things he bought some baby stuff and a gift for you...the mother of his child!!

When he finally made it to the human world he cried when he held his own purple-haired baby boy

The baby cried too lmao

The baby shifted into demon form & Levi wailed even more at his beautiful copy+paste baby

Both stopped crying when you played some anime on the tv

"I-I have a ring for you...w-will you marry me? I'll be the best husband and dad I can be!" ♡

He was planning on asking anyway; this just sped things up

He wasn't sure but he thinks his kid was giving him the stink eye when he was taking too much time with you...jealousy!?

Satan:

"You're telling me this now?"

Yeah he was angry

He had a hard time believing it but he knew you wouldn't lie about something like that

After the call, he grew excited and couldn't wait to visit

Told Lucifer what was going on ASAP and he let him go to you

He tried to read as much as he could from parenting books while on the way to you

He brought some gifts and offered to let you nap while he bonded with his daughter

Yeah she shifted into demon form after being held by him

He cooed at her, brushing her blonde hair lightly, remembering his own birth

"Daddy might've been an accident, but you're definitely not. Just a beautiful surprise. ♡"

He would do anything you asked of him, he just wanted to take care of his own little family

"Hey listen to me...I won't ever let you two down. I swear it.♡"

His daughter angrily yanked the new kitty plushie from his hands and smacked him before giggling

Asmo:

"Ahaha...riiight. That's not the first time someone's tried that on me! And triplets!? "

He loved you but that was a weird joke to pull so many months later

Seriously, triplets? You had to be joking!

You were a little hurt but you kind of understood his reaction

Either way you wanted Asmo to meet them and decided to do a surprise visit

You contacted Dia for help and Barb escorted you safely to the Devildom (it was hard moving around with 3 babies!)

You nervously waited with your babies at Dia's castle while they summoned Asmo first before the other brothers

"Lord Diavolo, I'm he-" you heard Asmo gasp

He froze and took in what was in front of him

"You weren't joking!?"

He sobbed and cried out apologies to you, as he tried to figure out how he could pick them all up (sorry only two at a time!)

You handed him the two girls and watched as they shifted into demon form in his arms

Mini Asmos!

He excitedly talked about all the different outfits you could all wear and match as a family

You took one of the baby girls and handed him the boy and watched as he too shifted

"You're my family! My big beautiful family! Papa will make you all proud! I'll work SO hard!♡"

The other brothers happily joined the gathering a few minutes later

Every time someone picked up one of the babies, they were happy and friendly!

Beel:

"Huh? What? What do you mean? ... I'M COMING."

Mixed emotions: Anger for not telling him. Excited that you had his child. Sad that he wasn't there to support you on the journey. Happy overall for his new family.

He wasted no time after you told him, he called on Lucifer to let him go to the human world. His brothers caught wind and wanted to go too.

Teared up when he saw you standing and holding his baby boy, he gave a big soft family hug

Was surprised and excited when his baby shifted into demon form when he held him

It was a mini him!

He was absolutely in love with his new family

"I will give you both everything. No matter what. I will take care of you two, always.♡"

Wouldn't stop doting on you two

Growled when Belphie wanted a turn to hold his baby...he might've been a little too protective

But everyone did get a turn eventually

His baby bit/nibbled everyone at some point

Belphie:

"Twins!? Mine!? When!? You should've said something!"

Was upset you kept it from him. Scared because what if he fails you and them? But was happy to have his own little family

As soon as he hung up, he quickly called Lucifer for help and had Beel accompany to the human world

Freaked out because what do babies need? What did you need? He hurriedly bought ready made baby gift baskets hoping it would help somewhat

Each step towards your place was nerve wracking and exhilarating

Having Beel there soothed him a little so he was thankful

Belphie thought you looked so beautiful standing there holding his twins in little cow print onesies

He nervously held both and teared up when they shifted and they looked so much like him

The baby boy started crying and he freaked out

"Yeah he cries a lot. The girl however is very quiet and sleeps easily."

Belphie hummed a lullaby and soothed his son who rested happily on him.

"This is better than any dream.I will do my best to make you and them proud.That's a promise.♡"

Beel patted his back letting him know he had him and the others

His babies seemed to like cuddling a lot. They really liked holding fingers tightly.

⬦You might also like: MC Feeling Insecure︱Waffle House︱Coconut

*Super long* Authors Note/Ramblings: Moved those notes to my AO3 journal lol

[barblaz-arts]

hi barb!

i am SO in love with how your art style and how you draw adult wenclair! i have some quick questions for you, if you don’t mind!

have you ever drawn adult yokovina? i bet they would look amazing in your style! it’s seriously gorgeous!

would you ever consider creating a kid for yokovina like you did with eugene’s daughter and pugsley’s adopted(??) children?

how pugsley’s children like their aunts, cousin and uncle? are they close with each other? does vega get along with them?

(p.s. i’m asking all this for a oneshot fic with your ocs!! with FULL credit, of course!)

hugs,

wendy <3

I only have unfinished drafts of them as adults. Well, mostly Yoko.

This one was supposed to be a comic about Yoko and Eugene's rivalry over the better godparent for Vega

Yoko was supposed to have a haircut like the one in the right during Vega's younger years. Divina's hair would basically have that same wet look but with longer hair. I couldn't figure out what kinda outfit to give Divina cuz I know shit about her tho.... But for adult Yoko I was gonna have her wear stuff like this

There's also this Yoko with Enid and Eugene in the witchcraft baby AU

And this miscellaneous Yoko

2. Pugsley's kids aren't adopted lol They all just have different mothers. More lore about them was posted here

You might not like this answer, but I dont really have plans to give them a kid. I didn't wanna give all of them a family ending, bcuz I like to believe that it isn't always necessarily the next step after marriage. Some people just dont wanna be parents and thats ok. I just wanted yokovina to be the childless rich aunts who spoil their niece and have like a hundred cats.

3. Dante is pretty close to Vega bcuz theyre both intellectuals, tho Dante is a lot more, uh, sophisticated than Vega's wild vibe. He finds Pubert a little frustrating because he's been trying to come up with schemes to best him like Pugsley and Wednesday when they were kids and trying to kill Pubert.

Jasper likes Enid a lot. I've mentioned before that Vega and Enid kind of drift apart when Vega gets older and becomes mystery-obsessed like Wednesday, so whenever they visit the mansion Enid is more than happy to goof around with Jasper because it reminds her of when Vega was younger. Jasper thinks Wednesday is cool but intimidating, but mostly because she doesn't live with the family in the mansion. He doesn't interact with her often enough to get used to her.

As for Briar, she adores Wednesday but hates Vega in this petty, kiddy way. She owns a doll that looks a lot like Vega that she likes to poke needles into. She's also very close to Thing.

[morgana-larkin]

Alright so I saw a prompt from @meowmeowhissss for a jealousy fic and of course I couldn’t resist. The prompt is: It’s a holiday. Melissa takes R to a family function. The schemmenti family loves them. Kristin and R get along very well, which makes Melissa jealous. She’s either jealous because R’s attention should be her or because she misses having a connection with Kristin (your choice 🤷‍♀️). Could end in reassurance or some jealousy smut.

On another note: I’m trying to decide what to do next, your prompts, to start a Marilyn one or continue the next chapter of worth it, hm, maybe I’ll post a poll soon. Like right after I post this lol.

Translations:

Italian:

Tesorino - sweetie

Papera - duck

Dutch:

Oma - grandmother

Red And Green

Warnings: Jealous Mel (when I say red and green, I don’t just mean the colours 😏), oblivious reader, smut, fluff

Words: 5k

It’s Christmas Day and Melissa invited you to her family get together as they keep asking to meet you. You accepted, although confused. You and Melissa are really good friends and have known each other for a year and a half. You were attracted to her from day 1 and it only grew, more so in the past 4 months when she started paying more attention to you.

You put on your red dress that stops mid thigh and it’s a bit flowy from the waist down. It comes with a white belt and you put on your black heeled boots that stops just before the knee. You apply some green eye shadow and red lip gloss. You then hear a knock at your door. You go and answer it and see Melissa standing there. All you see is her black leather pants and her black coat zipped up.

She however got to see your outfit and her brain stopped working for a second. “Wow, you look amazing hon.” She tells you and you blush. “You all ready?” She asks and you nod.

“Let me just grab my coat and purse.” You say and she nods. You go get both and you grab your present for Melissa and for the steal a gift that she said her family is doing. You also grab the cookies you made as a thank you to her family for inviting you.

“You made cookies?” She asks you and you nod.

“My Oma taught me to never show up empty handed when someone invites you to a family party.” You tell her and she smiles.

“My Nonna would have loved you. And would have gotten along with your Oma.” She tells you and you smile and blush.

You get in Melissa’s car and she tells you that you can put your music on if you want. “Do you like Christmas songs?” You ask her and she shrugs.

“Some of them.” She says and you put one on and she looks at you weirdly.

“Really?” She says and rolls her eyes. “Out of all the Christmas songs I thought you were gonna put on, I want a hippopotamus for Christmas was not one of them.” She says and you laugh. Melissa looks at you laughing and singing along and she doesn’t have the heart to change the song. She’d listen to it every year at Christmas if it meant she’d hear your laugh and singing along happily.

“Btw, why did your family invite me?” You ask her when the song ends.

“I don’t know, they told me the details and asked if I could invite you to it.” She says with a shrug. “I thought it was a bit weird too. They’ve never asked me to invite anyone else before. Well they did for Barb once years ago and obviously Joe and Gary.” She tells you and you smile.

“Well I’m very honoured they wanted to invite me. Do you talk about all your co workers to your family?” You ask her.

“The ones that matter.” Is all she says and you blush and look down. Melissa has a feeling for why her mom wanted to invite you. Her mom has only asked to meet someone in her life for two reasons, 1: her mom thinks they’re dating and 2: when she tells her mom she’s dating someone. Her mom wanted to meet Barb thinking her and Barb were dating but said they weren’t and that Barb is happily married to a man with 2 daughters. She’s worried that her mom thinks she’s dating you. Melissa is attracted to you and knows you’re into women but doesn’t know if you’re attracted to her. Melissa has mentioned you but never told her mom she has feelings for you. Although it wouldn’t surprise Melissa if her mom figured it out.

She pulls up at her parents house after 20 minutes of driving. You both get out and you hold your things and wait as Melissa gets her items from the trunk. She grabs a handful of gifts and closes the trunk then goes and walks to the door with you following her. You see about 10 cars parked outside and think that’s the average amount for a family gathering until Melissa speaks up. “Looks like only half my family is already here.” She comments and your jaw drops.

“What do you mean half? How many people are in your family?” You ask and she laughs.

“Have you forgotten I’m Italian?” She says and you sigh.

“It might have slipped my mind that most Italians have big families.” You say.

“Are you ok with big crowds?” She asked and you nod.

“Ya, it just surprised me is all.” You tell her and she knocks on the door. A few seconds later the door opens and an older women that looks like an Melissa with just a couple differences answers and you know right away that she’s Melissa’s mom. She lets you guys enter and Melissa greets her.

“Hey Ma, Merry Christmas!” She tells her and hugs her. How she managed to hug her while holding onto a bunch of gifts without dropping one is beyond you. Her mom then turns to you and smiles.

“Hi, you must be y/n. I’m Teresa, Mel’s mother.” She says to you.

“Yes I’m y/n, nice to meet you.” You say and hold out a hand to shake.

“We hug in this family.” She tells you and holds out her arms and you hug her.

“I brought some cookies.” You tell her.

“Oh aren’t you sweet.” She says and takes the cookies from you. “You didn’t have too.” She adds.

“My Oma taught me to never show up empty handed to a family gathering that I’m invited to.” You tell her and she smiles.

“She’s a good one Mel.” She tells Melissa and her cheeks go red.

“Maa.” Melissa says and her mom just smiles at you.

“I thought I heard the second trouble maker.” A man says and comes out to you guys.

“Hi Pa.” Melissa says and hugs him. “I guess that means the papera is already here.” She adds and Teresa scoffs.

“You and your sister with the insults to each other honestly.” Her mom says and you giggle. “Oh Tesorino, this is y/n.” Her mom says to her husband and points to you.

“Hi, I’m Cosimo. And to brag but it means beauty.” He jokes and flips his short hair that barely moves and you laugh.

“Here let me take your coats.” Teresa says and takes yours and Mel’s coat. When you finally see Melissa’s full outfit, you forgot how to breathe for a few seconds. She’s wearing a low cut red shirt with a green sweater. You stare at her long enough for both her parents to notice and smirk at each other.

“Where can we put the gifts?” Melissa asks and her mom leads you both to the living room where most of the people were gathered and you put your gifts under the tree.

“Well well well, look who finally decided to show up.” Someone says and you recognize the voice of Melissa’s sister, Kristen Marie.

“Nice to see you too Kristy.” Melissa says and they hug each other.

“You must be y/n, Melissa mentioned you a few times.” She says to you and you nod.

“Ya I am, nice to meet you.” You say to her.

“Here, let me show you around and introduce you to everyone.” Kristen says to you and you miss Melissa’s glare at her sister. Kristen is unaware of Melissa’s feelings for you and she thinks you’re kinda cute.

“Oh ok, thank you.” You tell her and she leads you around the house and introduces you to people. You wanted to spend time with Melissa but you didn’t want to seem rude.

After about an hour, you meet everyone and saw the whole downstairs of the house. Melissa keeps a close eye on you and her mom comes up to her at some point.

“So when are you going to tell her?” She says to her.

“What?” Melissa says.

“When are you going to tell y/n about your feelings?” Her mom states.

“What makes you think I have feelings for her?” Melissa asks her mom.

“Oh please. It may not be obvious to other people but you’re my daughter. I hear the way you talk about her and how your eyes look when you do. And how you’re now staring holes into your sister’s head since she stole y/n away from you.” She tells her and Melissa sighs.

“I do have feelings for her but we’re friends. And that’s all we’ll ever be.” Melissa tells her mom.

“Cara, why don’t you want to tell her?” She asks her.

“Because I don’t know if you noticed the age gap, and the fact that I don’t have the best luck when it comes to relationships.”

“Mel, I noticed the age gap but that has never stopped anyone in our family before. Your bad luck is only because you wanted different things in life than they did.” Her mom says. “Plus your sister is going for it and she’s only 2 years younger than you.” She adds and Melissa whips her head at her.

“What do you mean she’s going for it?” Melissa asks surprised and her mom smiles.

“Kristen Marie is flirting with her.” She tells her and points to you and Kristen Marie. Her sister has her arm wrapped around your waist and holding you close while talking to a cousin. Melissa crosses her arms and huffs. “If it helps, she’s interested in you as well. But if you don’t make a move, she might actually start to flirt back with Kristen, thinking you’re not interested in her.” Her mom says and then walks back to the kitchen. Melissa walks over to you guys, stands right beside you and joins in on the conversation.

“Hey Melissa!” You say and she smiles at you.

“Hey, you having fun?” She asks you.

“Ya I am, Kristen here has been so nice to show me around and introduce me to everyone. We also have similar interests as well. How come you never introduced me to your sister before?” You ask her and she frowns. She thinks her sister might have won you over.

“Melissa and I have only patched things up 3 years ago.” Kristen says to you. “And I think Mel still forgets she has a sister at times.”

“More like I try to forget but it never happens.” Melissa retorts and you laugh. Just then Teresa announces dinner is ready and everyone scurries to line up at the kitchen. It’s buffet style and then just sit wherever. Kristen pulls you to the line before it gets too long and Melissa tries to keep up but ends up seperated. She watches you and Kristen talking and you laughing at whatever she says and Melissa gets angry.

“You alright cuz?” Someone says to Melissa and snaps her out of her thoughts and she turns around.

“Ya Vinny, I’m fine, why?”

“Because you look like you want to kill your sister. And you guys patched things up a few years ago.” He tells her.

“Like I said, I’m fine.” She tells him with a bite to her voice and Vinny looks unconvinced but doesn’t question it further.

You all managed to eventually get food and sit down in the living room. Kristen continues talking to you and starts to get touchy so Melissa takes action. She walks right up to you both and squeezes in between you both.

“Excuse me.” She says and you and Kristen both have to move over to make room for Melissa.

“What the hell Melissa?” Kristen says and you look confused but don’t think much of it.

“What?”

“You’re impossible sometimes.” Kristen tells her and Melissa just smirks and turns to you.

“Enjoying the food?” She asks and you nod.

“Yes I am. I hope your mom didn’t cook all of it. There was enough for a village in there.” You say and both the sisters laugh. You miss Melissa elbowing her sister in the stomach.

“No, Ma didn’t cook everything. She cooked about half though. Lots of our family volunteers to bring something over. Last year I brought a branzino.” She tells you and Kristen scoffs. “Something you want to say Kristy?” Melissa turns to her sister with a glare.

“Nope.” Kristen says and takes a bite of her food. “Y/n have you ever tried caprese chicken saltimbocca?” Kristen asks you and you shake your head.

“Can’t say I have.”

“Did you get some?” She asks you and both of them look at your plate and sees that you didn’t. Before Melissa could offer some of hers, Kristen beats you to it but offers you a bite off of her fork and you accept it. Melissa looks at interaction and stews. She doesn’t want to have another feud with her sister especially since her sister technically isn’t doing anything wrong. You’re single, beautiful and sweet, the whole package. She can see why her sister is flirting with you.

After dinner, you all have dessert as you do the steal a gift. It has 2 rules, 1: you can’t re-steal a gift back as well as the same gift can’t be stolen more than once in a round and 2: you must wait your turn.

When it’s your turn, you pick a gift and see that it’s a beautiful necklace of a green diamond heart wrapped with silver lining, the green is the same colour as Melissa’s eyes and you love it.

Unfortunately one of her cousin’s steals it from you and Melissa sees your pout and then you go to get a different gift. Melissa is the last person to pick and she’s gonna steal that necklace back for you. You open another gift and see that it’s a bottle of Italian wine and you get a bunch of ‘ooo’s from everyone. And someone says that you’re having bad luck when someone steals it from you and you laugh and agree. You're sitting beside Melissa and she has her arm on your low back the entire time. You talk with Kristen Marie as well who’s sitting on the other side of you.

When it’s Melissa’s turn she immediately goes and steals the necklace from her cousin, the one who stole it from you, got it stolen from her and now Melissa is stealing back for you. She’ll give it to you later tonight. You end up with a hoodie that says “I’m Italian you gaboots” to which you and everyone laughed.

Teresa then goes and hands the gifts under the tree to who it’s for. You end up getting one from Melissa and her parents to which you were surprised. Melissa ends up getting a few gifts as well as her sister and everyone else. You open hers and see that it’s a baseball cap that says the eagles on it that you mentioned you couldn’t afford at the time, when you and her went to a game. You saw that she got a cap but you thought it was for herself and you now saw that she got it for you. You squeal and give her a hug.

“Oh, thank you thank you thank you!” You tell her and she laughs.

“You’re welcome hon.” She says.

Melissa sees that you got her a gift and she opens it with a smile. She sees that it’s the book she wanted and you must have heard her talking about it and got it for her.

“Omg thanks hon.” She says and hugs you.

“Open it.” You tell her and looks confused.

“To what page?” She asks.

“Any page.” You tell her and she opens it and she immediately tears up. The first letter of each word was highlighted. She flips through it more and it seems like it’s like that for the entire book.

“Omg.” She says and puts her hand over her heart.

“You ok Mel?” Her mom asks and Melissa nods and turns to you.

“Did you get someone to highlight it or did you do it yourself?” She asks.

“I did it myself.” You tell her and she launches herself at you in a hug.

“Omg hon, this is the best gift ever!” She tells you. Her mom looks at the book and sees what you did and she smiles. The fact that you knew of Melissa’s dyslexia, got her a book she wanted and knew what helps her and did it yourself, made her see that you’re the perfect one for Melissa. When most people were done opening their gifts and chatting with people, Melissa turns to you. “Hey hon.” She says and you turn to her.

“Ya Melissa?” She pulls out the necklace from the steal a gift.

“I saw you loved the necklace and decided to steal it for you.” She tells you and your jaw drops.

“You did that for me?” You ask in disbelief and she nods. “Are you sure? I mean I’m sure it would look lovely on you.” You tell her.

“I’m sure but I got enough necklaces for now and it would look better on you. Turn around and lift up your hair.” She tells you and you do. She puts the necklaces on you with a smile. Kristen hears the conversation and sees the interaction between you and figures out why Melissa has been glaring at her all evening. Melissa likes you. She decides right there to amp up the flirting with you to make Melissa jealous. She knows her sister might not make a move otherwise. Her mom sees the interaction as well and sneaks a picture of Melissa putting the necklace on you.

She clips it on and you turn around and face her. “Wow thank you Melissa!” You tell her and stare at the necklace with a smile.

“You’re welcome. I knew it would look good on you.” She says softly and you blush. As a thank you, you kiss her check and then turn around to face Kristen Marie as she taps your arm right away. Melissa is stunned by your action and touches where you kissed her with a blush and smile. Teresa gets a picture of the kiss and Melissa’s reaction.

Before anyone leaves, they all get up to take a bunch of photos. A few of everyone, a few without the partners or guests of people. And then individual ones of the households and everyone’s little families. Melissa got one with her mom, dad and sister and then one with just her sister. She thought she was done and then her mom calls you up again and gets you to take one with Melissa. She takes one with Melissa’s hand wrapped around your waist and tells you to get closer as your ‘besties’. Her words, not yours. Melissa then goes behind you and hugs you from behind and puts her chin on your shoulder and her mom takes a picture and then Melissa sticks her tongue out for the next one to which you laugh and copy her. The photos of other people continue as you two go to sit down.

Kristen Marie grabs your attention right away and Melissa gets annoyed. Kristen Marie has gotten more touchy with you, the more into the night you get. You are wondering why she’s touchy with you and you are starting to like it a bit, you normally don’t get attention like that from people. Kristen Marie puts her hand on your thigh and whispers something to you and that’s when Melissa decides to leave. Other people have already left so she thinks it wouldn’t look weird.

“Hey hon, I’m getting tired so I’m gonna go.” She tells you and you look at her.

“Oh ok, let me get my things and we can go.” You say but Kristen Marie speaks up.

“If you want I can drive you home and you can stay longer.” She offers and you look at her and her hand goes higher up her leg and Melissa sees red.

“Oh um, I’m actually going to hitch a ride with Melissa if that’s ok with you.” You ask her to which she immediately nods.

Melissa and you say your goodbyes to everyone. You thank her parents for inviting you and Teresa hands you your container back, now empty as all the cookies were eaten.

You put your stuff in the car and Melissa starts the drive back to your place. “So you and my sister seem to have gotten along.” She starts and you look at her.

“Ya, she’s really nice, she even gave me her number.” You say and Melissa takes a deep breath to try and control her jealousy.

“That’s because she was hitting on you.” Melissa says bluntly and a bit snippy.

“What? No she wasn’t, she was just being nice.” You tell her and she scoffs.

“Hon, you have got to be the most oblivious person on the planet if you couldn’t tell she was flirting with you.” Melissa tells you and you look at her confused. “I mean she literally had her hand on your thigh.” She says with a bit of anger.

“Well I did think that was a bit weird but didn’t want to seem rude if that’s normal in your family.”

“That’s not normal for us, we’re not that touchy.”

“What?!? But you’re touchy with me too.” You say.

“Ya! Because I’m trying to flirt with you too!” She says annoyed but then she realises what she just admitted and mentally facepalms.

“You’re what?” You ask.

Melissa leans back into the seat and doesn’t bother looking at you or answering your question.

“Melissa, do you like me?” You ask her and she sighs. She then finds a place to pull over safely and then turns to look at you.

“Ok yes I do, I’ve been trying to flirt with you for 4 months ever since I realised I liked you over the summer. But I guess you’re the most oblivious person, I also didn’t want to tell you directly because I was afraid. But I saw how you were with my sister and I got jealous.” She admits and you stare at her with wide eyes and then you smile at her.

“I like you too.” You tell her and she looks shocked at you.

“Do you really?” She asks and you nod. Melissa then cups your cheek and leans in. You lean in as well and you kiss each other. It starts out slow as you learn each other’s mouths and savour it. Then it quickly turns desperate and Melissa deepens the kiss. You let out a moan and Melissa puts her hands all over your hair. You then pull away and look at her face.

“Take me to your place.” You tell her and it takes her a second to process and then she nods and puts the car in drive.

She then drives to her place and you both quickly get out and into her house. Once inside she pushes you against the door as soon as it closes and attacks your lips with hers.

“Wait.” You tell her and she pulls back. “Were you jealous of your sister flirting with me?” You ask her and she looks down and blushes. “Hmm, I knew you were acting a little different. I kinda like it.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“Really?”

“Ya, go on and take your jealousy out on me.” You whisper in her ear. And with your permission, she does just that.

She attacks your neck roughly and you gasp and moan. She pins you up on the wall and pulls your dress down to go for your nipples. You bury your hands in her hair and moan. She then pins your hands to the wall and you whine as you’re unable to touch her. “Naughty girls don’t get to touch.” She says with a deep voice and you shiver. “I know you liked the attention you got from my sister.” She adds and you whimper. “Tell me, do you think my sister can get all these sounds out of you?” She asks and you squirm. You then decide to add fuel to the fire.

“She probably could. I mean she knew how to move her hand under my dress.” You say and you see the jealousy practically leaking from her as there was so much.

“So that’s how you’re gonna play it I see.” She says and carries you to her bedroom. “I see you want to be fucked roughly tonight, treated like the slut you are.” She tells you once she sets you down on her bed. She unbuckles your belt and flings it off you, then rips your dress off. She unclips your bra and sends it flying then attacks your nipples and she moans. She pulls you up more onto the bed and climbs on top of you. She slides your underwear and then looks at you bare under her. She then gets up and goes to her closet and brings a box over. She then oh so casually, takes out some cuffs and ties you to the bed.

“What?” But I haven’t touched you yet!” You exclaim and she smirks.

“Like I said, naughty girls don’t get to touch.” She says then she takes her sweater and shirt off and you drool at the sight of her chest on display like that. She then straddles your lap and takes her bra off and you stare at them. She then puts her hands on her boobs and touches herself while all you can do is watch and struggle against the cuffs. “Hmm oh I bet you’d love to touch me like this.” She teases and she moans. You whimper and she grinds against you a bit. She then gets up and takes her pants and underwear off. She then get a vibrator out, turns it on and instructs you to close your legs, she then puts it on your clit and tells you to keep it there. She then goes and slowly puts a strap on while she watches you squirm. She knows your close and she wonders if she should edge you or make you come many times. She decides to edge you and tells you not to come. You squirm even more and she enjoying watching you struggle.

She then ups the speed on the vibrator and you arch your back and try to keep the vibrator in place like she told you too. She then turns it off when she knows you can’t hold on too much longer and removes it from you. You whine as you were very close but then she gets in between your legs and starts licking you. You moan at the feeling of her hot wet tongue and mouth on you where you need her the most. She then goes for your clit and you gasp. She roughy licks and sucks on it for a couple minutes until you were just about to come and she pulls back. She waits a few seconds for you to calm down and then she sticks her fingers in you and fingers you. About half a minute she curls her fingers inside you and it hits your g-spot. You have your legs spread nice and open for her and you’re close again. She then pulls out when your close and you whimper.

“Mel please, I need to come.” You say with a pout and she chuckles.

“You don’t get to come until I say so.” She tells you and you realise she’s edging you. She then lines the dildo up with your entrance and she shoves it in. You scream out and she gives you a second to adjust. She then goes and starts pounding it into you and she rubs your clit. Melissa comes about a minute later but doesn’t tell you, she wants to know how much more you can take. “Hold it in you slut.” She says and you whimper. She then pulls out at the last second and you whine and whimper. She takes the strap off and goes and sits on your face. You take a few licks and she moans out. She then pushes the vibrator to your clit and turns it on to the max. “When you make me come then you can.” She says to you and you squirm the entire time as you hold in the orgasm she’s been denying you all night. And then finally she comes and it drips all over your chin and lips and then you come with a scream as it hits you hard due to the intense build up.

She then releases you from the cuffs and she goes to get a cloth. She makes sure to not touch your clit but cleaning you up and then cleans herself up. She throws the cloth on the ground next to the strap and lays down beside you.

“Are you ok?” She asks you as you cuddle into her and place your hand on her boob.

“Ya, when I told you to take your jealousy out on me, you really went all in.” You say surprised and with a smile.

“It wasn’t too much?” She asks and you shake your head.

“It was perfect. The only complaint is that I couldn’t touch these magnificent breasts.” You tell her and squeeze them. She giggles and then goes on her back to let you touch her all you want. “You don’t have to worry btw. I’ve only had eyes for you and no one else.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Good, because I want you and don’t want anyone else to touch you.” She says as she strokes your cheek and you lean into her touch.

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Let me know if you want to be added!

[wishful-thinking64]

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #03

Characters like Barbie Wire, Chaz, Crimson, Octavia, and Stella only exist as plot devices to garner sympathy for other characters. _______ I knew fully well that Chaz and Crimson were going to merely be plot devices for Moxxie the more I watched Exes & Oohs. And sure enough, Chaz was killed at the end of that very episode and Crimson is yet another wacky cartoon villain that the narrative expects for you to take seriously. Both of these characters existed so that the audience could gain sympathy (or at least pity) for Moxxie being raised in a Mafia family and having been abused as a child along with being betrayed by his ex-boyfriend (who also happened to be Millie's ex-boyfriend for some reason.) Other than Moxxie's Mafia family upbringing making zero sense the more you think about it, Viv has basically done this exact backstory before in the form of Angel Dust (with the whole mobster backstory who was also abused by his father.) However, the Exes & Oohs episode and title actually stems from one of the HH mockup episodes that was originally about Charlie and Vaggie coming across Charlie's ex, Seviathan (yes, that's what Viv named him), and his sister, Helsa, while they were at a dinner party.

Now, do I think Chaz and Crimson could've had the potential to be good characters? In all honesty, no. Especially not Chaz. The guy is a harmful stereotype of pansexual people and how, "They'll sleep with anyone," which no, they won't. I'm not pansexual myself but that thought process is as gross as it is fucking stupid. The only person who I've seen even re-writing Chaz has been Loves Art23 (I mainly know her for YouTube videos being critical on Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss along with other shows like the disaster known as High Guardian Spice) and I think she's done a fairly good job so kudos to her for making him work. Personally, though I'm scrapping him as that gives me one less character to worry about when re-writing HB. Crimson would have to be heavily and I mean HEAVILY reworked/re-written in order for him to make any actual sense. That and I'm tired of every character having some variation of the same daddy issues in the Hellaverse. Which means he's also gonna get axed from me. Moving onto the ladies I mentioned, let's start off with Barbie Wire.

Having been foreshadowed since the pilot of I.M.P. (as seen when Tilla was still Barb's and Blitzo's older sister rather than their mother) Barbie Wire was an anticipated character by fans for years! And then her actual appearance finally happened in Unhappy Campers, an episode hated by practically everyone who saw it, and no one really cared about her showing up, other than the fact that the writers thought that having her seduce a BARELY legal adult would make for a good joke, when in reality, it only made everybody uncomfortable and several people dislike Barbie because of it. Sure, near the end of the episode she had that "emotional" scene with Blitzo that wants the viewers to feel bad for him and Barbie before she left but in the long run it didn't matter as fans barely even talk about it because of how uneventful it truly was. So, with that out of the way, would I keep Barbie Wire around for a rewrite of HB? To that I say, yes! There are several paths Barbie Wire's overall character could go in. If you're mainly sticking to canon, then what you have to work with is a former circus performer who lost her mother in a fire caused by her twin brother that left his own best friend to rot and be disabled for the rest of his life. It's very likely that this very fire, caused her to be out of a job and probably even homeless for a bit which could explain why she ended up becoming both a drug attic and a drug dealer. Homelessness is one of the few things that nobody wants to experience. It causes people to be filled with a sense of overwhelming loneliness and desperation as many of them either believe that there's nothing they can do or they do anything and everything that they can to get out of it even if that means resorting to crime. If you wanted to have her be loosely based on canon instead, you could make it to where she never learned about who started the fire and actually stuck with Blitzo well into adulthood. Have her become one of the members of I.M.P. and later down the line have her learn through someone like Fizz or maybe Cash (her and Blitzo's father) what actually went down that day. Have her be rightfully pissed off at Blitzo for screwing over multiple people along with being the one responsible for killing their mom. Anyway, let's proceed onto Stella and her daughter Octavia.

As much as the narrative wants me to hate Stella with a burning passion cause she hurts Stolas, I can't do it for multiple reasons but I'll list my top three. #01.) Stella's just as (if not even more so) stuck in this arranged loveless marriage as Stolas is. #02.) If the man I had no choice in marrying not only cheated on me with a man from one of the lowest classes in all of Hell but IN OUR OWN HOME & SHARED BEDROOM NO LESS? OH, FUCK NO!

#03.) This woman had to spend 9 months having to nourish and care for a baby inside her stomach that she had with a man that didn't even want to sleep with her. On top of that, she had to have become pregnant with Octavia when she was a young adult since current day Stolas and Stella are only in their mid 30s. I need you to let that information sink in.

In short, I can't hate Stella for loathing Viv's pathetic self insert bird twink with every fiber of her being.

Having said that, would I have Stella in my HB rewrite? Well, considering that I plan on keeping the war that happened in the bible that caused Lucifer and several angels to fall from grace, one of which being Stolas. Kind of. Allow me to elaborate, I would keep Stella as Octavia's mother but I wouldn't have her marry Stolas. I'd have her be a surrogate mother that way Stolas still gets an heir and Octavia could still exist. Speaking of Octavia...

We all know that she exists to make Stolas look like a better person as several stans of this show love to say how much of a good dad Stolas is when he isn't. He neglects Octavia frequently in favor of Blitzo and only pays attention to her when she's gone although EVEN THAT doesn't last long as shown in Seeing Stars where HE KNEW Octavia was missing on Earth but rather than ACTIVELY look for his daughter, what does he do? HE SITS THROUGH A STUPID LIVE COMEDY SHOW CAUSE BLITZO IS PERFORMING! HE COMPLETELY SIDELINES HIS OWN DAUGHTER IN FAVOR OF A LIVE COMEDY SHOW!

God, Octavia deserves so much better than to have a dad like him. I'm keeping Octavia for my HB rewrite so that this poor girl not only realizes how much of a bastard her dad is but eventually gets the found family she deserves. I don't plan for it to be through I.M.P. though. In closing, the characters of this show deserve to be better developed but especially the women in them.

_______

That was a long one to get through cause it's been on my mind for a while. Thank you all for reading through it and bye for now everybody!

[haru-dipthong]

Ep 12 of my Utena fansub is out!

私たちも今までいろいろやってきた、疲れたわね

We've been so busy the last few episodes. I'm pooped.

A juicy little indulgence on my part here - the fourth wall break here by the shadow girls does not actually exist in the Japanese (explicitly). I’ll explain why I added it.

Here’s a very literal translation of the individual words above with no thought given to context or adjusting for grammar.

We (also) | until now | various different things | have done up to this point

I believe いろいろやってきた (lit. we’ve done various different things up to this point) is referring to their various performances in a sort of meta way. If we take each appearance of the shadow girls as a semi-in-universe mini stage play, this line is referencing the presence of previous plays within the current play. They’ve played pirates, plate spinners, cowboys, an educational program, and more! Acknowledging these things is tantamount to a performer acknowledging the fact that they’re an actor rather than a character while on stage, so the fourth wall break felt appropriate.

Anya was also happy with the fourth wall break and added that it emphasises the episode as a turning point and helps close out the arc, which I really agree with!

-----

また黙秘するわけね。今のウテナってかっこ悪いよ。何か取られた腑抜けみたい。なんだかわからないけど、取られたら取り返しなさいよ！

Are you clamming up again? You look pathetic right now. Like you let someone steal from you! I don’t know what it was, but if someone took something from you, take it back!

Couple of little things to discuss about this line:

かっこ悪い is often translated as “uncool” or “lame”. This can sometimes be accurate, since it’s the opposite of かっこいい (lit. cool), but in this circumstance those words don’t hit hard enough. This かっこ悪い is more barbed than usual, so I kept the barbs by choosing a different word: pathetic.

“Clamming up” was an off the cuff choice because I felt I’d used “be quiet”, “not talk”, etc too many times in the previous scene to reuse them here. I think it fits with Wakaba’s personality and the current situation pretty well! 黙秘 is defined by jisho.org as “remaining silent; keeping secret”.

腑抜け means “coward” or something similar. I tried phrasing this line a few times to get that word in somehow, but in the end the whole rant just read so much better without forcing it in. Also cps (characters per second) was a concern here.

-----

元気な友達がいるね。

Your friend has quite the personality.

元気 (genki). What a word! Often translated as “energetic”. So often in fact, that even before I checked, I knew that the ohtori.nu translation would have used it, and sure enough!

Your friend is very energetic. (from ohtori.nu)

Along with “eyesore” and “confession (of love)”, this might take the bronze medal for common Japanese words that consistently get translated into very uncommon English words.

Of course, 元気 can literally mean “having a lot of energy”, or simply “well” (as in the opposite of “unwell”). But “energetic” is just such a bad translation for it 90% of the time. I wish I could convey why in words, but in most contexts, the word 元気 and the word “energetic” just feel so different.

Anyway, 元気 has quite a positive nuance, which emphasises the passive aggressiveness of Touga’s comment. The intent with this line is that he’s giving a vague compliment to Wakaba, indirectly (talking about her as if she’s not there), and making it clear that he wishes she wasn’t around. Everything else about the line should be secondary, including the specific meanings of each word.

I think this is emblematic of my general approach to translation — to identify the author’s original intent of a line/scene/work and then write it in a different language with the same intent in mind. Every line, every scene, is trying to do something — I believe it’s the translator’s job to identify what each line and scene is supposed to be doing and preserve that, so media literacy is very important. Sometimes that line is doing exposition, in which case a literal translation of each word is often ideal. Sometimes that line is trying to evoke a feeling, establish a character, or make the audience remember similar experiences, in which case the individual words used matter much less. In this case, the line is attempting to invoke memories of similar experiences of passive aggressive, dismissive comments. And frankly, “Your friend is very energetic” does not do that, so I consider it a poor translation.

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Thanks as always to my ride or die @dontbe-lasanya for their awesome editing this episode (and every episode!)

Make sure to follow the blog for episodes as they're released. Go here for all previous episodes:

[a-libra-writes]

Hello Libra, I just like to say that I really love your work and I love how you depict all these characters so well!

I was wondering if you can do some jealousy headcanons for the Lackadaisy characters?

Danke!! GN reader, most reference a relationship or romantic interest.

♣️Rocky - His jealousy is very obvious to anyone who bothers to pay attention. It is not less obvious or pathetic when you're in a relationship, either. Rocky will find any excuse to interrupt you and the other person, scare them off, redirect your attention, and so forth. It can become very distracting and annoying, so it's best to address the problem right away. The jealousy 100% stems from Rocky's fears of abandonment - not that he'd recognize that - so reassuring him and soothing that insecurity helps a lot. Sometimes his jealous reactions are just that, knee-jerk reactions that he doesn't fully think through. It's safe to say the insecurity is less of an issue the longer you both are together, especially if you're already a very affirming and affectionate partner.

♣️Freckle - The big-eyed boy has a quiet, passive jealousy that he may not notice right away. It stems from inadequacy, and he believes himself to be inadequate in many things, especially when it comes to relationships. He doesn't exactly have a lot of experience, you know? It'll be a constant needling build-up, though his uh, night time shooty activities helps get a lot of that aggression out. He's very open to talking things over, but you'd have to bring it up first. Freckle would rather stew in Catholic-level feelings of guilt before ever talking about it; but talks help a lot! Reassuring him goes a long way, and making sure he brings up his negative feelings before they get so bad.

♣️Ivy - While she's quite easygoing and not prone to jealous thoughts that often, when they do pop up, it manifests as an intense "my best-friend-who-I-tooootally-have-platonic-feelings-for-is-dating-someone-new-and-I-suddenly-hate-that-person". She pouts, she plots, she makes her displeasure known to you - she just gets an off feeling from that person. No, it's not mature, and she can get pretty catty about it - but she's also only 18~19. If you're femme then Ivy can easily dismiss her feelings as just missing her best friend - it'll take extra time to realize they aren't entirely platonic. If you both were together and already had conversations about this, that burning jealousy melts away to a little spark she feels now and again. She'll ignore it, knowing it's just a dumb thing that'll pass as soon as you're back at her side.

♣Mitzi - As much as she acts like she's above such things, Mitzi is the same as anyone else in developing jealous feelings. She recognizes them at once and just wants to bury them down, it's so embarrassing. It's even worse if she gets antsy about someone being overly friendly or flirty with you. What is she, a schoolgirl? The anger at herself might irk Mitzi even more than the person whose being so forward with you. She can get quite passive aggressive toward them, coating her barbs with honey - and that might get directed toward you if she feels you're also being too friendly with them. None of this lasts long - Mitzi would rather have a drink and kiss and make up. She's too old too ladylike for this silly nonsense.

♣Viktor - Just because he recognizes what he's feeling doesn't mean the old Slovak processes them in a healthy way (like, at all). To strangers, he's his usual frightening self, but to those who know him they can tell there's a distinct animosity coming off him. He's not a possessive type, but Viktor already feels miserable about himself and that he doesn't deserve you in the slightest - the idea of someone better coming along is not an impossibility. Now, he can't simply grab them by the neck and throw them out a window just for talking .. .and that'd upset you. So Viktor settles for being in a terrible mood until you soothe him. Attempting to talk him through it just makes him feel worse about himself.

♣Zib - Oh, he recognizes it quick, and Zib haaaates feeling this way. It's so pathetic, so annoying. He should be the bigger person, just suck it up and walk away, but ... nah. If he's been drinking, he's absolutely going to make snide comments and act inappropriate. You drag his drunk ass aside and he does feel a little (kinda) bad about he acted ... some days he's better about it. It's so cliche, but he knows what he's like as a partner. He doesn't offer much, and even if you've made it clear you still care about him, the insecurities and negative feelings can dig into him... especially after booze. He perks right up after some cuddling.

♣Atlas - He doesn't show it outwardly at all. Atlas keeps his impassive expression, outsiders can't tell the difference, but you and his two closest triggermen might pick up the iciness in his eyes. Eventually, that frost would melt into his voice. He would consider any jealous feelings beneath him, if he deigned to call them that. Instead, he'd translate it as disrespect: Whoever is being too personal with you and inspiring these feelings is disrespecting him. It's ... probably best that they move on.

🏵Serafine - Jealousy isn't something that comes easily to her. She's too free-spirited, and she doesn't like the idea of holding another down. She'd hate for you to restrict her, so why should she do the same to you? That said, there are a few times when it comes up. There are always those who want to flirt with you and get too close for her liking, but ... it's also fun to watch. She lets the little pangs of jealousy build up until you return to her side, and Serafine will tease you for doing it on purpose. There's a reason she likes to leave lipstick stains and bites on you. Note, if you try to incite jealousy in her on purpose, she'll see it as a game - but if you're seriously trying to provoke something, it's just irksome. Isn't that a bit childish?

🏵Nico - Like his sister, Nico isn't one for jealousy. He's inspired plenty of it and isn't a fan, and like Serafine, he won't tie you down if you don't do the same to him. Truthfully, he has much less patience for it. Some may think he doesn't feel jealous at all; but Nico is actually just good at dealing with it in a healthy way. He waits until you're back at his side and showers extra attention on you - it's pretty funny when the person who was flirting starts glaring at you. As long as you're not intentionally trying to get a rise out of him, he's chill.

🏵Mordecai - He's awful about it, made worse that he refuses to acknowledge it. It really doesn't kick in until you both have this sort-of-kind-of understanding that's a mess to navigate to begin with, never mind if jealousy comes into play. Mordecai both feels it strongly and denies it with as much strength. Some stranger trying to be smooth is irksome, but not the end of the world. But someone who has a sustained relationship with you? Who gets to touch you and be close to you on the regular? Nope. He's argumentative and prickly anytime they come up. By the time he figures out what his feelings are about, he'd rather chew off his own tail than ever bring it up.

🏵Wes - His flavor of jealousy tends to come from either inadequacy or possessiveness. If the person flattering you and getting too close is some idiot he works alongside, you better believe his hackles raise and he puts them in their place. If it's someone he can't immediately beat down, or if they seem ... well, better than him in some way, the jealousy quietly simmers underneath. Your initial attempts to talk it out are bust, considering the time period and his own machismo ... but he can come around once you reassure him. And wait, didn't he want this to be a casual thing? What's he getting so worked up about, anyway?

🏔Wick - When they build up, he quickly recognizes the jealous feelings in himself. It's something Wick is familiar with, and dislikes - as if it's a personal failing, and not a thing everyone goes through. Depending on how long it sticks around, he can become a little withdrawn and even unsure. It just feels so childish, but he's still glad to get some reassurances. He insists it's not necessary, but Wick still gives you that dopey, painfully affectionate smile you're used to. He's also someone who handles it maturely, and they seem to go as quickly as they come. They may linger if there's already some obstacle between you two - maybe he hasn't brought up his feelings, you're masc so he can't be as open with his affection, and so on - but he's still recognizing these negative feelings and willing to work through them.

[justghoulythingz]

i want you in all the ways you’ll let me have you…

a drabble for anonymous taken from this prompt list.

pairing : ghoul/lucy maclean

word count : 846

warnings : some good old fashioned self-loathing, rope to restrain, mentions of sex. 18+, mdni

divider credit

It’s been centuries since Cooper Howard has gotten this involved with anyone.

He’s a bit like a stunted foal: clumsy yet reluctant to admit it; so used to being somewhere dark and grisly and detached that when the sun hitched to Lucy MacLean shines, it burns his irreversibly damaged skin. Gives it a kind of glow that he has to kill every time it threatens to bloom.

Self-inflicted wounds are easier to nurse. What’s the point of watering the dead garden his innards are overgrown with?

He winces when she touches him. That’s why her wrists need to be kept bound when he explores her. So she can’t feel how much she affects him. So she doesn’t get the wrong idea.

This ain’t love. Not that she has much experience with the romantic variety. He’s got plenty to keep close to the chest.

He gave himself to his Barb and she trampled him so far into the dirt that he might has well have been buried that fateful day.

The consequential marks don’t seem to bother Lucy. She’s a curious sort. One of the things Cooper admires about her. In the same breath, however, he doesn’t mind if for once she’d give it a proper fucking rest.

She moves too fast for him. He’s not entirely certain he wanted to budge in the first place.

Here she is with his face entombed in her neck, kissing and licking and nibbling as she opens herself to him. Thinking about how he would drag his nose along the slopes and valleys that comprise her if he could. How she deserves a man who’s whole and not whatever husk was violently spat out.

He can plainly see she yearns to reciprocate. Restless energy makes her grit her teeth and clench her thighs, squirming about as he gets to roam free. A low, long-winded hiss manages to escape between the soft, swollen lips he’s already branded.

“Tell me what y’want, angel wings. Use your big girl words. Y’had no trouble up t’this point.” He smiles against her throat, keeping her body caged. His voice cuts through like a saw hacking down a tree. Chop chop chop. Devastation as it crashes to the ground.

She sighs heavily and attempts to fix her posture. He’s very skilled at distracting. It’s not lost on her that he does so on purpose.

“Can you look at me first, Cooper?” she asks, chest heaving. He wonders how their hearts would feel galloping together. He doesn’t take his clothes off for her.

Some days, he wants to.

“Alright,” he begins, angling himself backward and resting one palm on the wall above her head. He can humor her. “I’m lookin’.”

And boy does he look. How can one not, with those doe eyes, large and all-encompassing like a lush forest of green and brown and gold?

His expression takes on that of a predator’s honing in on its prey. Except she’s taken hold of his hide and shredded it until it’s all mangled and indistinguishable. He feigns he has the upper hand. He feigns many things.

Lucy utilizes a few more moments to compose herself. Logic has been replaced with emotion. That requires a different type of effort to navigate.

Normally he would hurry her along, he don’t got all day. But really, he does. Why not spend it admiring a work of unabashed art that spawned from, according to him, the depths of hell?

“As much as I enjoy you getting your excess of me, I feel…” She exhales, shaky. “I feel like that excess has snatched away my enjoyment of you. I, I feel incomplete. It’s not as satisfactory as I know it could be.”

The old, tattered cowboy doesn’t answer. It’s difficult to swallow. She is expectant, but she’s also learned to lower said expectations when it comes to him. So she carries on of her own accord.

“What I want, Cooper, is you. All of you. I’m not satisfied with this half-baked sex we’ve been having. I want to pleasure you. Have you gasping for air and unable to think clearly.”

If she only knew.

“I want you to orgasm in my vagina and mouth and hand and, and wherever else, I don’t care! Except that’s really not true. I do care. I want you in all the ways you’ll let me have you. And I want you in all the ways you haven’t let me have you. That’s what I want.”

She’s so technical sometimes that it usually makes him roll his eyes or laugh. Now, he doesn’t do either.

Instead, he grasps her chin and tilts it upward. He shoots her one last isolated once-over and seals their fate with a fervent kiss. The hand once above her travels below and deftly releases her from her binds. The rope falls to the dusty floor with a resounding thud.

“Best get t’work then,” Cooper murmurs against her cushioned mouth. Like a warm, forgiving blanket waiting to surround him, even after being away from home for months, years.

“‘Fore I change my mind.”

[jadeite-art]

I have been thinking a lot about the entire Coop-Barb-Janey subplot, not only from a viewer's perspective but also a writer's perspective and here's some thoughts of what we might expect in S2 and/or S3:

☢️ Similarly to S1, S2 could open with a scene set in 2077 showing Coop separating from Janey. It'd be safe to assume that at one point Barb swooped in and took Janey with her to one of the good vaults.

Henry/Hank, being Barb's assistant, might have been directly involved. It would explain why Coop later thinks he might know where both of them are

Coop probably doesn't know that for a simple reason: contrarily to the experiment vaults, the location of the high management vaults must be top secret and the entrance must be well disguised and well protected

Side note: Barb and Janey are definitely not in vault 31. They are not listed on the terminal that Norm checks in one of the scenes

☢️ I think that throughout the season/s we'll get some flashbacks of Coop and Barb from the moment he found out about the bombs all the way to their divorce

I theorize Barb was the one to file for divorce, and one of the reasons was she feared his association with "commies" would lose her (and by extension her daughter) the spot in a good vault

I saw an affair angle being mentioned. I'd say it's not out of the realm of possibility. Still, if there was a third man, it would not be Hank but some high ranking executive, someone who could grant Barb that spot in a good vault.

If there was an affair and it was mostly calculated, I think there could still have been an element of genuine attraction there. The way in which Barb accuses Coop of being an ingenue, makes me think she'd be inclined to develop an attachment to someone who is the opposite of that, someone who'd make her feel safe and supported

Side note 1: the affair angle would tie nicely with the fact that Coop appears to think of his family as having been taken from him

Side note 2: ghoulcy shippers might find it interesting that the side of Coop's character that Barb seemed to resent, is the one Lucy would probably appreciate the most

☢️ All that said, Coop will most certainly find Barb and Janey at the end of S2 or at least will find out where they are and will only literally find them at the end of S3. @earthgenre made an interesting post exploring what might have happened to them. I personally am convinced they were cryo-frozen and one of the following will turn out to be true:

They were awakened, lived and died a long time ago (or were just never frozen in the first place) and Coop will have to deal with the fact that they are just... gone.

They were awakened some time earlier but by now Barb is dead and Janey is all grown up, perhaps with a husband and child/ren, or alternatively she's already old. It could make for a heartfelt reunion but in the end, the two would have to go their separate ways.

They are both still in their cryopods. Coop gets to see his wife and daughter again and is faced with a choice to either awaken them or let them sleep. It would be a test of character for him. If this one came true, I think he'd either let them sleep or awaken them just for a moment of closure and then let them go back to sleep again in wait for a better tomorrow.

You may have noticed I didn't include any scenario in which they reconcile and walk together into the sunset. This is simply because I don't think it's really an option. I mean, could you imagine Barb, the clean-cut corporate exec, traveling across the wasteland with her ex who now is also a radioactive flesh-eating ghoul? And dragging their little daughter along with them?

On the other hand, Coop wouldn't subject them to that. Yes, he's been looking for them all this time but it would be very silly of him to expect them to reunite and just go live happily ever after. And he's a lot of things but silly is not one of them. I don't think he wants to get them back. He just wants to know what the hell happened to them. Closure is what he wants and what he'll probably eventually get.

As much as I'd love to see Coop get back what he'd lost, I recognize that it wouldn't make much sense, narratively speaking. Cooper's journey appears to be about two things: regaining his lost humanity and letting go of the past. He cannot turn back into a human but he can become a better man (ghoul?) with strong(er) morals. Similarly, he cannot get his family back, not really, not even if he finds them alive, but he can always get himself a companion - someone whom he could cherish and protect, someone whom he could literally live for - and the narrative so far seems to imply that companion is meant to be Lucy. I won't elaborate further on that because there's already a gazillion posts quoting various parallels and foreshadowing elements than seem to be pointing somewhere in that direction.

At the end of it, I just wanna say, there is no way back, but there is always a way forward and that, I think, is the lesson Cooper is supposed to learn.

[janeyseymour]

Just Sex

Summary: Melissa is hooking up with the chief at the firehouse, so you decide that you can have your own fun.

WC: ~2.1k

After the failed relationship and proposal with Gary, Melissa has been going out to bars and staying out late at night. She finds herself in bed with quite a few men and women, and while she’s not thrilled that she’s back to this lifestyle, she’s impressed that she still has what it takes. Getting older did not make it any easier to attract people.

But then one night she sees the fire chief out at the bar, one thing leads to the other, and they’re in a friends with benefits sort of situationship.

Of course, all of this comes out when you’re renewing your CPR training certificate with the Abbott clan, and Barbara has made it quite clear that she’s upset Melissa didn’t tell her of this relationship before.

You had been busy trying to pass your test, but now it’s your partner’s turn to go, and you tune back into the world around you.

“But if I were gonna label it, I would say it’s just sex,” you hear Melissa tell her work wife in a low voice.

You don’t really know what she’s talking about, but you shrug it off. That is, until Janine comes back into the room and asks for the gossip. Barbara of course goes off, claiming that her friend of over fifteen years trusts her no more than a common street stranger. It becomes apparent to you that whatever hookup situation they’re talking about has been going on for a bit of time now. You feel a nasty pit settle in your stomach at that.

That pit only grows when you go out with the crew after the CPR course to celebrate the fact that you all passed. Of course, conversation leads back to Melissa and Jacob both having sexual relations with people from the firehouse.

“Well, I think I blew that one,” Jacob groans as he finishes off his aperol spritz. “But let’s talk about you, Mel Mel.”

“There ain’t nothin’ to talk about,” the redhead waves him off. “It’s just casual sex.”

“Casual sex that’s been going on for how long?” Barbara asks with a raised brow.

Melissa purses her lips as she thinks. “Couple weeks now?”

“A month,” Jacob cuts in. “C’mon, Melissa. When are you just going to admit that you like him?”

“I do not,” she states very clearly. “I just need something to take the edge off for me, and… he does that.”

“How kinky is it?” Ava asks, a smirk on her face.

Jacob opens his mouth, and Melissa very quickly shoves her hand over his mouth. “You say a word, and you’re out on the curb faster than you were out with Zach.”

The man’s eyes widen, and he nods quickly. She pulls her hand away from his mouth, and he breathes a deep sigh in relief. 

“I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along,” the second grade teacher says as she finishes off her beer.

Barb turns to look at her work wife with a curious face. She knows of the little crush that her best friend has on you. Melissa just nods at the kindergarten teacher’s silent question.

But you don’t take it that way, because you have no idea that Melissa has had her eye on you since before she broke it off with Gary. You see it that you have no chance with your favorite coworker at all.

Feeling as though you could burst into tears at any given moment, you quietly excuse yourself from the rest of the outing and head for your apartment.

“What was that?” Melissa furrows a brow and purses her lips as she gazes in the direction that you left.

“I’m sure it was just a long day for her is all,” Janine tries to come up with some sort of logistical reason as to why you would leave early. “I did have a meeting with her before school even started today, so she’s been up for quite some time.”

Everybody seems to accept that reasoning, and they continue on with their night.

The next day, you march yourself into Ava’s office bright and early.

“Girl, what are you doin? I’m tryna get this knot out of my back,” your principal groans as she shuts off her personal back massager.

“I need your help,” you tell her, not even bothering to acknowledge that she isn’t doing her job at all.

“With?” She leans forward just slightly in her chair.

You smile at her. “I know you know a bunch of people… set me up with someone?”

“Oh, girl,” she laughs. “What’s gotten into you? Every other time I’ve asked if you want someone, you decline!”

“Just… thinking I should get myself out there,” you shrug. “You know? If Melissa can do it, so can I.”

Ava’s jaw drops. “So this is about Melissa.”

“What?”

“I knew you had the hots for her!” the principal grins. 

“What? Not! I- I just figured, if everyone else can have at it, so can I?”

“Oh, girl,” she laughs in your face. “This ain’t you at all, but I am in full support of it. Give me til the end of the day, and I’ll have someone for you.”

You end up going out with a woman that night that Ava set you with, and you do end up actually liking her… and she’s pretty damn good in bed.

The next morning, you’re practically glowing while you drink your morning coffee in the break room. Julie, the woman that you ended up in bed with last night, is texting you about maybe meeting up again later this week.

And if you weren’t still in love with the redhead that comes in a few seconds later, you would say yes. Instead, you send her a text that says, Maybe. Kinda busy the next couple weeks.

She texts you back a picture… a rather scandalous picture. And you blush when you see it.

“What’s got you all giddy today?” the redhead asks as she leans over. She sees the picture before you can close out of it, and her eyebrows creep up her head.

“Who’s that?”

You shrug. “Just someone Ava set me up with.”

“Ava?” Melissa asks in disbelief. “How long have you been seeing her?”

“Not long,” you tell her. “It’s just sex, really.”

The redhead folds her arms over her chest. “I didn’t think you were like that.”

“I’m not, but I figured I might as well give it a shot,” you say. “Now, I have to head to my room to finish up some of my grading, but I’ll see you later.”

You don’t have any intention to see her later. And you don’t. You pull back from her and her group- although most of them still find their ways to you. It’s mostly just the redheaded second grade teacher that you avoid. And it happens that way for a few more days.

You’re in the break room heating up your lunch when Ava comes in. “Girl! Are you gonna text Julie back or not?”

Melissa makes her way in, and you sigh. “It’s just sex. I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along,” you unintentionally repeat what the second grade teacher had said out at the bar. The microwave indicates that your food is finished, and you pull it out before heading back down to your classroom for lunch.

You miss the scowl on Melissa’s face, but Ava sure as hell doesn’t.

“Girl, you jealous or something?” the principal leans in with a smirk.

“What would I be jealous of?”

“That someone else is hitting that hot piece of ass,” Ava says like it’s obvious. The second grade teacher rolls her eyes, but Ava continues. “I see the way you look at her. Practically undressing her with your eyes every time she walks into the room.”

Melissa crosses her arms again. “I can’t believe you set her up with someone if you knew I like her.”

“I was hoping it would give you a swift kick in the ass that she was gonna start hoeing it up,” Ava shrugs. “Now admit that you’re jealous before everyone else comes in here.”

“Okay, I’m jealous,” the redhead relents. “But it don’t matter anyway. She isn’t lookin’ for anyone- she just said that.”

“She said, and I quote, ‘I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along. And girl, you’re that person for her!”

Everyone else starts filing in, and Ava makes it so that she looks impossibly bored, although she is actually quite the opposite. “Okay, I’m leaving this snooze fest.” She heads out, but not before giving Melissa a subtle wink and tap on the wrist. “Get it, girl.”

That day, Melissa sits thoughtfully during her lunch period about what Ava said… maybe she’s right? But she can’t be sure, so after dismissal duty, the fiery second grade teacher heads down to the front office and bursts into the principal’s office.

“Schemmenti,” Ava grins. “You do it yet?”

“I ain’t doin’ nothin’ until I’m positive Y/N has a thing for me too,” Melissa sits down across from the woman. “So tell me what you know.”

Ava spends a long time telling the redhead about the various times she’s caught you checking Melissa and only Melissa out, how you always seem to linger around her during events, how the two of you are almost always partners for things now and how you being around always makes her soft and you absolutely bask in her warmth. She even confesses that you went down to her office to ask her to set you up because of Melissa.

“You convinced yet?” the principal asks after ten minutes.

Melissa bites her lip. “Yeah. Okay.”

“I’d make a move quick though. She said something about potentially seeing Julie today.”

“Isn’t that going to piss off your friend that Y/N might leave her for me?”

“She ain’t my friend,” Ava says as she files her nails. “I made a dating profile for Y/N and picked the first mildly attractive woman I saw.”

“You’re unbelievable sometimes,” the redhead pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Maybe, but ain’t you gonna go get your girl?”

Melissa stands from her chair and thanks the principal before rushing out and down your hallway. She hopes to catch you before you head out for the night. And of course, because you’re a dedicated teacher, you’re still there prepping for tomorrow. She knocks on your doorframe and leans against it.

“Just a sec!” you reply cheerily, not turning around yet. You’re hands deep in soil for the gardening project that your students will be participating in tomorrow.

“I don’t got a second,” Melissa says. You whip around at her voice.

“Hey,” you sigh, all joy in your voice gone.

“Don’t go out with Julie tonight,” the redhead tells you.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I want you to go out with me instead,” she tells you seriously.

“You’re dating the fire chief,” you deadpan.

“I ain’t dating nobody because the only person I want to date is you,” the redhead admits.

That gets you to drop the dirt that is currently in your hands. “What?”

“I told everyone I was just having casual sex and wasn’t looking for a relationship unless the right person came around because… because the only person I would want to be in a relationship is you, and I didn’t think I had a chance.”

“Melissa, are you an idiot?” You ask her. “I’ve shamelessly flirted with you since you broke it off with Gary and practically thrown myself at you in hopes that you would pick me instead of some random hookup.”

She crosses the room, and she’s kissing you before you even know what’s happening. You instinctively kiss her back, and… wow. When you pull away, you quickly wipe the dirt off of your hands before pulling her in close again.

“Don’t go out with Julie tonight,” she pleads again.

“Don’t go out with the fire chief anymore,” you mumble against her lips.

She nods and mutters, “I already called it off. You cancel on Julie, and meet me at my place?”

You end up at Melissa’s house within the hour, and she wines and dines you. And then you end up in her bed seeing stars. Your legs tremble for what feels like forever before she makes her way back up to you.

“And just so you know,” she husks into your ear. “There ain’t nothin’ casual about this. This ain’t just sex.”

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[choccy-zefirka]

Hjördis Laidir's Guide to Being Fearless

Fear, you see, comes from overthinking. Thinking in general, even.

The more you turn something that frightens you over and over inside your mind, the more your thoughts begin to drip a very particular black goop. You must have felt it when you were afraid. It bubbles underneath the surface, closing up your throat, filling your lungs, not letting you breathe — sometimes even reaching the backs of your eyes and blinding you. A tiny Blight, if you will, of your very own making.

So to keep yourself from suffocating, just... Don't think. Don't allow yourself those still, quiet moments when your mind stirs and begins playing tricks on you.

Move fast, look ahead, grab on to your very first instinct and let it pull you along — like you are rushing down frothing river rapids astride a giant man-eating raytooth; an even bigger, nastier cousin of the critter that almost shredded Bharv and his team, when yet another of his plans fell apart. Well, when I dealt with that thing, I had no plan, aside from prying a friend's prosthetic arm out of its barbed tunnel of a mouth. And I did just that, with no time wasted on churning thought goop.

We both got our gold and glory in the end, and I landed with an eye-catching new scar: several circles of razor tooth marks right over my shoulder. Beloved by the ladies, the gents, and pretty much everyone else. Would I be getting free drinks in exchange for my scar story if I mulled about on the shore, thinking? I dare say not!

So yes. To be fearless, act like you just grabbed a haul of elven statuettes from some human "collector's" vault and are bolting across his posh gardens, weaving and ducking among the fluttering swan shrubs, the back wall in sight and the guards at your heel. Outrun the guards. Outrun your thoughts.

See a log between two clifftops, bridging a long, narrowing funnel of a drop, with nothing but blue mist at the bottom? Walk it. Walk the damn log. Don't think about what's below. Just keep balance and push ahead.

Catch a glimpse of the cultist you are chasing, a bright-red dot against the city grey, flailing their robed arms and doing their ghastly blood rituals on a rooftop? With the only way to get to them being a zip line? Grab tight, and whizz forth. Over the streets. With the golden windows flickering far below your floating feet; with the moon enormous and bright behind your back; with the rusty smell of your quarry's magic hitting your nose, breaking through the rank mixture of stagnant water and someone's doomed cooking. Don't think. Fly. You will never reach your target if you think.

When someone screams for help from the frothing golden maw of a burning building, be the first to rush in. Give yourself no pause to imagine how the fire will feel, eating at your skin. When the tattoo master offers to ink you, grin and agree to the largest, most outrageous design that would get you banned from entering several Chantries. When you are offered a dare, accept it, and top it up with some extra flourish. To show just how fearless you are.

When your favorite uncle — well, your mothers' best friend, technically, but my first impulse is to call him that, and I never thought twice about it — comes by with an urgent plea to chase down some weird mage he used to know, and stop him from destroying the world... Do not even blink. Follow him into the craziest, upside-down maelstrom of acid-green wild magic and floating rocks. Jump with him into the very Fade. Whatever it takes. No hesitation. No fear.

And somewhere along the way, you may meet another weird mage. Weird — and terrifying. Because he's a necromancer, and you have seen — I have seen — what his kind can do, what horrors they sculpt from the rotting, squelching flesh-clay. You remember — I remember — that night in the old foundry, when Mama Tillie lost her own mother and gained a daughter. I was a tiny, trembling urchin back then; I'd taken a wrong turn on an errand for the creepy mirror man (that story will cost three free drinks), and stumbled into a death mage in the middle of stitching his dead wife back together from matching scraps carved out of other women. Now, that is food for black, goopy thought if there is one.

So. Anyway. Say you do meet a necromancer. And he frightens you to your very core, more than fire or a steep careen off a cliff or the dripping scarlet jaws of a sea monster ever will. What do you do then?

Right. You don't think. You follow your first impulse. Which, since you are — I am — also the daughter of Mama Bela, is to flirt. Relentlessly. Strike a confident pause. Try to stare him down, even if you barely reach his chest. See what will finally make that bookworm stumble over his words; what will finally make a blush creep over his cheeks.

Then, you just might realize that he is not so terrifying after all. That he is courteous and attentive... Which shouldn't matter; Mama Tillie always said that the death mage from the foundry was courteous and attentive with her mother before he took her... He wooed her with white flowers, dammit!

But — but his smile seems so sincere. His eyes seem so kind.

Watch out. You may slip. You may plummet.

Oh.

Oh shit.