#I almost forgot about candace

[walmart-miku]

now that I've finished the Fontaine archon quest I need hydro fam shenanigans.

This is the vibe in the hydro fam. You got neuvillette babysitting a bunch of unhinged children.

And before you come for me about barbara, barb is one incident away from being completely unhinged. My girl is barely holding it together. And nilou is unhinged, shes just good at hiding it. Girl was ready to go to jail in the sumeru quest.

Headcannons under the cut

Furina, barb, and nilou do shows together I take no criticism about this. Xingqiu wrote the shows. Neuvillette and childe fund it.

Xingqiu needs to be put in Fontaine. My boy is literally FAMOUS over there. (On a side note, love how every hydro character is famous. Only exception here is yelan but that's cus she's an undercover agent.)

Furina, xingqiu, and barb would get along like a house on fire. You got 3 art kids together, 1 that can get away with stuff, 1 that's smart, and 1 that keeps the shenanigans from getting too big and getting them into trouble. It is a weekly occurrence that neuvillette gets a call telling him his kids went and did some shit again and he's gotta clean it up.

Also childe. He's like that cool cousin that shows up at your door randomly and is involved in a lot of shady shit, but they can't complain cus childe brings xingqiu all of these rare books and makes sure he comes to all of furina and barbs performances and reads monas astrology column in the steambird every morning.

Barb makes coffee every morning for mona and makes sure mona has a balanced diet.

They have weekly tea time. Everyone shows up. No one misses it. Sometimes wrio is invited.

kokomi and xingqiu can talk for hours about anything. Books, strategy, anything. No one understands what they're talking about. Except for ayato but that's only when it's about strategy

Barbara and sigwinne will also talk about medicine for hours and it's even more difficult to understand those conversations

ayato will spawn randomly, hand someone bubble tea and then disappear. It's his way of saying I love you.

He also jumps jumpscares everyone a lot. Not intentionally but just bc someone runs into him and they haven't seen ayato in a few days and he's got Gucci eyebags and looks ready to fight the Raiden shogun. Also because he's just really quiet when he moves. You don't notice his presence unless he wants you too.

All of the adults spoil furina, xingqiu, and barb rotten. Mona tries her best.

None if them like Jean. They think that Jean doesn't deserve Barb after everything but if barb wants to have a relationship with her then they won't do anything.

Candace has fought off a crowd of crazy fans before. She will do it again.

Candace and childe fight once a month. "To see who deserves a name that starts with C" childe says. The matches always end in a draw.

Neuvillette is a better dad then all of their canon fathers.

Barbara will start singing randomly and nilou will start dancing

[sea-lanterns]

I forgot about auntie Dehya! I can’t believe it!

The kittens absolutely adore Dehya! She’s so big and strong the kittens love being carried by her. She’s kinda like a big jungle gym for them to climb and hang off of whenever they want. They think Dehya is the strongest cat around, and while one of them wants to grow up like mum, the other wants to be strong like Dehya for sure. (Lynette almost visibly emotes her surprise when one of the kittens manages to lift Dehya’s greatsword.)

And Dehya also adores them, teaching them how to do up their hair and makeup just like their mums. Sometimes during her workouts there’ll be a pair of kittens curled up on her back while doing push-ups, slowly as to not wake them.

After that whole traumatizing thing with Auntie Keqing’s fake hair ears they started poking around at Dehya’s too. They do not like the results but she’s still one of their favourites.

I like to think that since Lynette is very introverted, she needs a break from her kids sometimes. So knowing that the kittens love Courtesan Dehya so much, Lynette probably plops them down in front of Dehya and scurries off so that Dehya could watch over them while she rests 😭

Poor Dehya, now left to supervise the two kittens, she just stops whatever training she’s doing and allows the kids to climb all over her. It’s like when mama cats drop off their babies to the big dog, and the big dog has to watch over them now while these kittens all meow for their attention <3

Awwwshhhdhhsjdjejd. The image of the tough mercenary with two small kitten kids on dangling off her arms is so cute. Courtesans Miko and Candace would be cooing so much at the sight!

[pinkworldone]

When you like boys that are short! (Yandere! Genshin!)

characters from:

part 1:

Mondstadt: Rosaria, Amber, Kaeya, Albedo

Liyue:, Shenhe, Xiangling, Zhongli, Xiao

part 2:

Inazuma: Ayato, Thoma, Gorou, Kazuha, Raiden Ei, Kuki Shinobu, Yae Miko

part 3:

Sumeru: Tighnari, Cyno, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Dehya, Candace, Nilou…

Im sorry for not translating the last part of Alhaitham!!! I write this in other account in Portuguese, but I forgot to translate

KAVEH

Kaveh is like his kind best friend who is always there for you, he made a point of making it clear in his friendship, after all, with your trust in him, you would certainly love him at some point. The conversation ends up being related to dating and your type of man, making you anxious, nervous and quite curious about what you would say.

“I like short boys... like Tighnari... but don't tell him!"

He is quite surprised when he hears you say that he likes lower boys, his heart hurts and he doesn't accept so well the fact that you like Tighnari more just for something so... frivolous. It bothers him, it hurts him, and he's hating it! Kaveh can't just change his height to meet his standards, he wants to, but he knows it's not possible.

Kaveh tries his best to make you change your patterns, showing that it's very superficial to like people just by the height, but it's difficult. Because he doesn't want to hurt or hurt you, maybe, maybe.... He needs to get rid of someone...

ALHAITHAM

Okay, your friendship is strange, because it is you who talks the most and starts the matters, but on that day, you were in love and admiring General Mahamatra from afar, of course he would notice and without stalling, Alhaitham asked why you were looking at him that much. That bothered him a lot, his look was not a simple admiration... no, there was something more. A "something" that he really wanted not to be true.

So hearing you say the painful words, "I like him", hurt him, but he did not express it on his face, always stoic and expressionless. The worst of all was hearing you say that you liked him mainly for something as superficial as height?! No, no, Alhaitham won't let you keep thinking like that! Don't you see how stupid you are?

Alhaitham told you, almost a speech or a lecture about how stupid your kind of man is, if you were sure you liked Cyno, now there is no more. He will use all the words, the possible manipulations to make you change your thinking, to like him and only him.

CANDACE

You, a student at the Academy, were passing through Vila Aaru and met Candace, she simply fell in love with you and was a little direct, asking if you liked someone in particular and the reason for it. Upon hearing that it was something only based on height, her face showed confusion and Candace asked if you were sure you liked Wanderer just for that reason. You had told her that he was rude and mean to almost everyone, and yet you liked him?!

She is using this as an argument for you to change your mind, based on how much you told her about this Wanderer guy. You said he was rude and mean, that's a great reason why you don't like him. Candace makes you believe that appearance and height do not matter, and yes, the kind personality like hers, not that of this guy named Wanderer!

DEHYA

Dehya always accompanied you when she went to see animated dance and accompanied you when you tried to imitate the steps, observing everything as a cute admiration for the dancer, Dehya was focused only on her fun and her smile while trying to dance too, "cute", she thinks with a smile. That's why she was a little surprised when you said you liked Nilou, she knew you admired the dancer, but not to the point of loving.

Dehya thought of several qualities that Nilou had, beauty, she was graceful in her steps, fun, cute, intelligent, empathetic, beautiful... Most related to personality, she expected everything except the fact of height. Dehya was surprised, looked at you as if asking "is this serious?". Dehya smiled at you and provoked you a little, but also tried to give you a sermon about liking people just by appearance or height, it's something stupid, you know?! In addition, you need an experienced person in the desert and strong just like Dehya! After all, you mainly explore the desert in your studies, Nilou does not know how to defend himself in the desert, but guess who knows?! Dehya!

[mammalsofaction]

Hi I wanted to ask you about a fanfic idea? You don’t have to answer this but I have a couple ideas and I’ve been to busy to really put it to use.

You know in the movie into the 2nd dimension where Perry’s able to hold up 2 kids, 1 teen, and a fully grown evil scientist. I thought of the idea of what would happen if his host family saw that or if he got a bit to rough with Dr d during a fight.

You might have already had this idea or have even already done it but i thought it would be a fun short fic or something.

Early Days

Rating: G

Relationships: Bg Lawrence Fletcher/Linda Flynn-Fletcher

Characters: Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Lawrence Fletcher, Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz mentioned, Flynn Fletcher siblings mentioned

Add tags: Non graphic depiction of violence, non graphic depiction of injuries, family feels, light angst, PnF S1 Hail Doofania, human Perry the Platypus, mute Perry the Platypus

A/N: This takes place in the early days of Perry and Heinz's nemesis ship. In the episode Hail Doofania in S1, Perry spends almost the entire episode wearing a protective collar. His flashback shows us that Heinz pushed him down a sandpaper making factory that tore up the fur on his body, making Linda suspect he's scratching himself up due to some sort of rash.

In the human!Perry version, I take this further to mean that he's wearing some sort of neck brace, meaning that Heinz had--at some point early in their relationship--had hurt him quite bad. I thought it's fitting to fulfil the ask. Perry still calls Heinz 'Doofenshmirtz'.

This fic mainly centres around Perry's relationship with Linda and Lawrence, and how they worry for him. The boys are maybe 5 years old here, making Candace 10.

If you want to understand the reference to Ferb's mom, i recommend reading my human Perry lore post linked in my pinned post.

Im sorry this took so long @salty-frenchfry . Between life happening and my laptop going Ka-put, finding the time to properly address this ask took longer than I'd like. I never forgot it though! I hope this little short is ok 😭

---

In his line of work, injuries were unavoidable.

Often times, they were easy enough to hide. Bruises were most common. Perry's long since taken to keeping a spare set of make-up with a replenishable bottle of concealer on his person, whether that be the dash of his hovercar or the storage box beneath the seat of his scooter. And what the concealer couldn't hide, his sleeves and long trouser pants could.

He's good enough at what he does. That being said, sometimes Doofenshmirtz gets a lucky shot.

Linda stormed into his private ward like an avenging angel, and Lawrence trails behind her in a more sedate, nevertheless eager pace. The nurse, as well as a be-suited nameless OWCA insurance representative slips out silently to leave him to their harried concerns, though not before the former sends him a small smile for good luck. The married couple barely notices.

"What happened?" Linda demands. Lawrence makes himself at home in the bedside chair, letting his wife take charge of the mother henning for now. "The hospital told us you'd gotten involved in a car accident? Oh Perry, your handsome face." She cried, bottom lip wobbling, and if Perry didn't have his left hand in a cast and his body completely leaden with drugs, he would have reached out to reassure her. As it was, he could only attempt to do what he can with a strained smile.

He hadn't known, until this point, what excuse OWCA had given the Flynn Fletchers to obfuscate the circumstances surrounding the severity of his injuries, but he really should have guessed. OWCA loved car accidents. In truth, he'd lost his balance over the edge of a rooftop while fighting with Doofenshmirtz, and he'd somehow managed to push Perry over. Perry had fallen through a roof of a sandpaper making factory, down 20 feet onto some crates and toppling heavy machinery. He'd almost broken his neck, fractured his left wrist, dislocated his left knee joint (the side that had broken his fall) and his face looks like he'd gone 5 rounds with Mohammad Ali. Thankfully he'd found he'd managed to thwart Doofenshmirtz's scheme anyway (he'd thrown a shoe into the revealed gearwork of his Unpaved-Inator, a machine designed to revert paved walk lanes into unstable cobbled paths. As if Danville didn't suffer from enough sabotage in terms of accessible walkable infrastructure), so at the very least, it was not a complete failure. The paperwork would've been impossible, instead of just insufferable.

He'd been given a voice to text machine by his bedside by his functional hand, a small voice box in respect to his disability, and he uses it to lie in it's emotionless vaguely feminine robotic voice. "T-boned into a truck running a red light." He says. OWCA would take this lie and run with it later. "Thrown onto the road. Think it slipped."

Linda and Lawrence made appropriately sympathetic noises. When Perry lolled his head to the side, he realizes his brother-in-law looks far more haggard than he'd initially noticed; red rimmed eyes and a glassy smile. Stiff upper lip. Well. Ferb had gotten it from someone. "You'd scared the children out of their wits, Perry." He says quietly, likely to conceal the shaking in his voice. "They're waiting in the car as we speak. None of us had quite the appetite for dinner after we'd gotten the news."

The strained smile slips into a slightly more sincere, more painful smirk. "Just the kids?" Perry asked, and Lawrence barks in laughter that sounds far too similar to a sob.

He can't imagine what he sees, what it must've been for him to have gotten the news. OWCA had told him it was a car accident too, for Ferb's mother nearly 5 years ago to the dot, now.

He'd not even got to see the body, then.

His heart squeezes in guilt, an all too familiar ache. Lawrence had been through enough: the point of a stable nemesis ship was to avoid injuries of such a caliber. To provide stability, safety. Security. Perry didn't want Linda, didn't want the kids, to ever worry about whether he would come home, especially not with the line of work he tells them he's involved in.

A gentle knock on the door heralds a familiar face: a specialist Perry had seen once or twice walking down the corridors of OWCA's medical bay as an emergency field medic, sans the white fedora with a red band denoting his position within the organisation.

This time he was simply wearing a signature Doctor's lab coat, holding a clipboard and flanked by a pocky young adult in scrubs, buzzing with caffeine. "Flynn-Fletchers?" He requested gently. Linda makes an affirmative noise, and the duo welcomes themselves inside the ward with that familiar professional smile.

"He's got banged up pretty bad out there." The doctor offers in a vague, sympathetic manner. "Has he told you what happened?"

Perry thinks he sees Lawrence and Linda share an unreadable look. "A car accident." Lawrence echoes hesitantly. "With a truck?"

The unnamed doctor nods, writing something down on his clipboard, likely the cover story he would need to report back to Francis shortly. "The impact had broken his collar bones and given him a mild concussion." He reports. The pocky nurse at hands out a print of Perry's X-ray reports, and Perry watches the married couple analyse the given print like it was anything comprehensible. "He'd landed on his left side, fracturing his left wrist, up to the back of his ulna, so we're casting it for now. No surgery beyond the one we've done to his collarbones immediately upon his arrival to the AnE, which has already been covered by his work insurance."

This seems to surprise Linda. " As an accountant?"

The doctor doesn't even blink. "Seems like it. Good health insurance plan. We're assigning him to a couple more days in the hospital to watch over his condition, and about 2 months bedrest before he can go back to work. If everything goes smoothly, we can discharge him by the end of the week. Any questions?"

"Paid vacation?"

It's a question asked through the robotic monotone of Perry's given voicebox. The doctor gives Perry a secretive, sympathetic smile for the unspoken concerns he understands far too well. "I'm afraid you will have to ask your superiors. My influence remain within these walls, I'm afraid. But I'll put in a good word."

Perry sighs. It comes out weaselly and creaky, and Lawrence reaches forward to squeeze his uninjured shoulder in reassurance. "Thanks, doc." Perry says, because he wasn't an animal.

"My pleasure." He says, which must've been some sort of cue. The pocky nurse moves to exit, leaving them with the X-Ray prints, and holding the door open. "I'll let you get your rest, and you may refer to Consultation for any questions regarding visitation hours. We'll be able to greenlight him tomorrow."

Linda and Lawrence thank him, watching him leave before they redirect their attention back to Perry's prone form.

Linda has her lips pursed in displeasure. "Your boss doesn't really want you back so soon after your accident, would they?"

Perry sighs again. This time, the exhales brings his attention to his parched throat. "I can't say." He types into the voicebox. It's not the answer she was looking for, he can tell from the continued sour look of her face. Lawrence face becomes even more pained.

"Can you promise you won't be doing this again?" He requests, and while his throat and his guilt tears him from the inside out, Perry lets himself chuckle lightly.

"I can't help these things, Lawrence."

The silence that follows is heavy with things Perry feels they're both keeping from each other. Linda sits heavily in the chair next to her husband, and reaches out to squeeze his hand, hanging limply by the armrest. Lawrence looks him in the eye, pointedly silent, and he smiles something wane and unreadable.

"No," he says. "No, I don't suppose you can."

[mywifealhaitham]

various genshin valentine's headcanons ♡

⚠: mentions of a shotgun in mikas, lazy writing

a/n: I almost threw up and passed out in the process of writing this :3

albedo - ♡ • he draws you! he isn't experienced in gift giving or dates so he just goes with something he's familiar with • Klee stops by to give you two a drawing of all three of you holding hands and he hangs it up by his workplace smiling like the proud brother he is

alhaitham - ♡ • he gets you books he likes and commented on himself (DORK! NERD! LOSER! affectionate) every other page is a little note from him consisting of the meaning of this is actually... to this idiot reminds me of Kaveh, don't you agree? •he also takes you to a nice restaurant in sumeru and pays • like halfway through the date he forgot flowers and called up kaveh to buy them! he does not! and alhaitham makes him pay!

amber - ♡ • she got you your very own plushie! it matches with baron bunny and doesn't explode! • she takes you on a nice picnic where you two match outfits and feed eachother cake • she immediately gets home and writes to collei about everything while kicking her feet and twirling her hair

arataki Itto - ♡ • oh my god he gets you the largest bouquet of flowers ever like four members of the Arataki gang have to hold then Shinobu is deadpanning in the corner • with granny onis advice he also takes you on a picnic! unlike Amber's peaceful one yours is not! he makes the Arataki gang play instruments while Shinobu is dressed in a suit and is severing you two food

barbara - ♡ • she gets you two matching outfits! hers is baby blue and yours is light orange so it compliments eachother • she definitely sings you a love song behind the cathedral and you two giggle and dance and hold hands man I love barbara

beidou - ♡ • she gets you.... drunk! yep she's hosting a valentine's day party on the crux with plenty of drinks • after the wild party when you two are stumbling back to her room theyres some nice flowers laid out on the bed • she tries to woo you but passes out on you... I mean she tried!

bennett - ♡ • he got you some flowers but they withered away then he made you some sweets and accidentally mixed the salt and sugar! • he's very bummed for how everything turned out, he wanted this day too be accident free! • it's ok to make up for it you two walk around the town holding hands while you pray that the boxes that some people are carrying aren't gonna crush you and Bennett

candace - ♡ • she gets you a nice jeweled necklace! she carefully puts it on you and kisses your cheek • since the desert isn't the ideal place she keeps you inside we're you too spend quality time together • right before you go to bed she kisses you all over telling you how much she loves you

chongyun - ♡ • writing for characters I dont really know anything about is stressful sweats profusely • he probably gets you the standard flowers however for the date he takes you ghost hunting • by the end of day he's disappointed that he can't find any ghosts so you say that maybe they didn't want to ruin your date and now he's planning to go ghost hunting on a different day what have you done!

collei - ♡ • she gets you one of those valentine's cards you'd get for every kid in your elementary school class • it took her like 20 tries to perfect the card and when she did she threw it at you and ran • when she came home cyno and tighnari were sitting at a table with all the failed attempts of cards on said table. scariest thing collei has ever experienced

cyno - ♡ • he gets you a joke book to use on him. yes he fully expects you to pull out the book and start saying jokes like he does • he does get you flowers and brings you to a nice restaurant using his mass amounts of maha-mora (winks I'm so funny right winks again plz) • he told so many jokes that night you're just about done with his dorky mouth

diluc - ♡ • he gets you some nice jewelry this man is rich rich • he of course makes a candlelit dinner and sets up a table in the dawn winery fields • the maids fan over you both and start spreading rumors that you're gonna get married

diona (platonic) - ♡ • makes you your favorite non alcoholic drink. she'll MAYBE make you an alcoholic one but she'll spit in it • drags you to wind rise and forces you to make her a picnic. she'll violently rip flowers out of the ground and give them to you :3

eula - ♡ • she gets you the classic flowers and like necklace combo. the necklace is blue to remind you of her • she also took you to a restaurant and someone ruined your date by crashing into your table. she swore vengeance on the entire holiday of valentine's day

faruzan - ♡ • tbh I dont know shit about her • she makes you get her gifts and flowers. she also makes you pay for everything because she is a poor unfortunate lady boohoo • she wears one of those hot dresses so it's worth it

fischl - ♡ • forces diluc to decorate the patio of the dawn winery in purple fairy lights and asks his maids to cook something for you two • dilucs like erm ok I guess he's so lost and taken aback. also she got Oz to make hearts in the sky for you :3 • fischl gets you matching bracelets she made herself please wear it everyday or she will sob

ganyu - ♡ • she gets you flowers right as she sees you because she will accidentally eat them • gets Ningguang to let her use a nice part of the jade chamber for a nice date • at the end of the day you make her nap because SHE NEEDS IT! so hardworking! so smart! what a girl!

gorou - ♡ • he is so nervous the entire day... he tries to swoon you but embarrasses himself badly • he gets you a sentimental gift like a painting of your first date area or something! • you made him dog treats as a joke. he devoured them. what a day!

hu tao - ♡ • you woke up and she SMOTHERED you in kisses and hugs, if you didn't know any better you'd think she wanted you to be her next client • she planned the entire day and it's very sweet and cute. she takes you shopping then walks around liyue hand in hand with you. she kisses your hand at the end of the day saying that she'll stick with you through life and death

jean - ♡ • another hardworker that takes off the day for you! she prepares a nice candlelit dinner like half the cast 😊 • she gets you a necklace and while she puts it around you she swears to be your knight forever then kisses your neck

kaedehara kazuha - ♡ • in the morning he wakes you up with the sweetest of kisses then reads you some poems • beidou insists on having him bring you along to the crux annual valentine's day party but he says he just wants to spend time with you • he has you lay on his lap while the sun sets while he strokes his hair and declares his love for you (kazuha HIT MY LINE)

kaeya - ♡ • gets you an expensive wine he bought off of diluc, it's in your favorite flavor and everything • he takes you to starsnatch cliff and tells you stories he's heard about the stars, most of them are from the long forgotten parts of his childhood • kaeya actually didn't buy the wine bottle he got venti to steal it so your lucky if diluc doesn't doesn't marching towards you looking angry!

kamisato ayaka - ♡ • she gets you a matching fan! she thinks it both brings out your beauty and cools you off during hotter days • she then takes you shopping around inazuma, everything is on her! • when your both almost ready for bed she'll insists on doing a small waltz with you in your bedroom

kamisato ayato - ♡ • he takes the whole day off surprisingly • normally he doesn't spend alot of time with you because he's very busy but today all his attention is on you • overall you two just chat about everything ranging from politics to what crime did itto commit this week over some nice thoma cooked food

keqing - ♡ • another hardworking women we love to see it • keqing is very classy and also rents out a small spot on the jade chamber for you both • she gets you a bracelet and a Rex lapis Keychain. she does not look you in the eye when your excited about it

klee (platonic)- ♡ • when she was in confinement jean made her make valentine's for all her friends in mondstat! she put her heart into all of them, yours especially • she hands you the card in which she drew you two playing with bombs along with a heart shaped lollipop • she also did the cute little leg hug thing and said happy valentine's day best sibling ever (I LOVE LITTLE KIDS THEYRE SO ADORABLE!!!)

kujou sara - ♡ • she gets you some hand picked flowers! • since crime never stops she unfortunately has to leave for the day, but she sends you off with a kiss • when she gets home you run her a nice bath and massage her tense shoulders

kuki shinobu - ♡ • the worst idea of her entire life was telling itto about her date • he insisted in helping her by adding a special arataki touch to the day • by arataki touch he means the arataki gang scaring off everyone at the restaurant and playing horrible music • she apologized so much at home but you just kissed her and said the best part of the day was her !! (itto thought he did so good and starting advertising a entertainment service....)

layla - ♡ • when you went to sleep the night before she was still working so you didn't know what she was doing while you slept • she promised herself not to work and take a break for once! she just wanted to snuggle you • before she went to bed she put some fresh flowers in a vase next to your bed with a note

lisa - ♡ • she set up a little table in the library with some fresh flowers and a basket of fruit and sweets • her gift to you was some of her favorite books which she reads to you! • she's a bit lazy so she rather do some of her favorite activities than deal with the hussle and bussle of mondstat couples

mona - ♡ • she takes you stargazing for sure! she tells you about every star you point out • seeing you so interested in the stars so much she gets you a telescope! • as you look at planets in the sky and gasp them, she only smiles softly at you knowing the money she spent was worth it

nahida (platonic) - ♡ • she's so hyped because one of her first real valentine's day! with her bestfriend! • she hand picks some flowers for you then knocks at your door • it's early in the morning but when this sweet child is at your door with some flowers and the brightest smile ever you can't really complain

nilou - ♡ • she dedicates a whole dance to you! it's a lengthy dance and she's elegant with the whole process • afterward she tells you how much you mean to her then extends her hand because her gift to you is the art of dance! • she holds you tight as you two dance the night away

ningguang - ♡ • gets you the most elegant clothes pieces ever, like your even afraid of wearing them incase a stitch snaps • surprisingly she's humble with her date spot, preferring a nice field instead of a five star restaurant • she picks a beautiful glaze lily for you and puts it behind your ear

noelle - ♡ • she makes you a whole meal • at first the meal was only for you but you insisted that she take a break and eat with you. she took the offer and got to know you better

qiqi (platonic)- ♡ • she probably forgot all about valentine's day so baizhu had to remind her • she probably just made you a quick card and picked some silk flowers for you • she also took you to her favorite napping spot for a nice nap !! you deserve it and don't worry qiqi will be your litte guardian

raiden shogun - ♡ • miss ei has experienced alot of valentine's days but actually never had a date for herself • miko would sometimes get her some flowers as a thanks for being my friend but other than that her knowledge is limited • so she gets you a nice bouquet and takes you on a walk around inazuma • she shares stories of the land while you two walk into dusk

razor - ♡ • another person who probably doesn't know what valentine's day is • bennett and fischl told him all about it and he was intrigued • he picks you some fruit and some lamp grass • he spends the whole day with you!

rosaria - ♡ • she probably just takes you to angels share and let's you get whatever you want, it's on her • on the walk she'll put a stray flower that fell out of someone's bouquet into your hair while giving you a kiss on the cheek, a silent vow to protect you forever

sangonomiya kokomi - ♡ • she sets up a seaside table with some delicious looking food she made herself • headcanon but autistic Kokomi and her special intrests are war strategies and sealife • she'll take you on a walk and excitedly point at all the small creatures, spitting facts about them left and right

sayu (platonic)- ♡ • she doesn't really care for lovely dovey stuff and probably gets annoyed at all the pinks and reds around inazuma • however she does get you a small plush and some flowers she picked, afterwards though she immediately goes to sleep

shenhe - ♡ • ever since you became her s/o cloud retainer has been going on and on about couple stuff • a topic that came up was valentine's day, so cloud retainer suggested doing some of her favorite activities together • however most of shenhes favorite activities are either training or meditation so if your fine with that then good for you!

shikanoin heizou - ♡ • when you wake up he's missing and the only thing left behind is a note and a map with some things circled • you followed the map and soon found out every circled point had some gift for you awaiting patiently • eventually when you reach the end heizou is waiting for you with a nice dinner

sucrose - ♡ • she makes you some sort of artifical flower with albedos help! • she also makes you help her on her lab and when you pour a certain chemical in it makes a heart • that's the boldest you'll ever see her

tartaglia - ♡ • childe always used to buy a big stuff animal and flowers for his siblings for valentine's day, but now he has you to spoil! • you wake up and turn to silence your alarm clock and there's like a huge vase full of flowers • you find alot of gifts scattered around the house, all signed with a love, ajax ♡

thoma - ♡ • he's so excited!! he's such a dork for cheesy days like valentine's day! • he's stuck between just being himself or being romantic, in the end he chooses being himself • being himself means a nice walk stopping to feed all the stray animals and a nice warm home-cooked dinner later in the day

tighnari - ♡ • deep in my bones I feel like he just doesn't care about valentine's day at all • he'll pick you some special flowers he's been growing himself for months just for today but like he doesn't careee • he'll be nicer to you when he gives you your gift of a jar of herbs that can help cure alot of things... but he says he doesn't caree... suree....

venti (platonic) - ♡ • you never really cared for valentine's day nor did your mischievous little friend so you both decided to cause chaos • chaos as in stealing some wine from diluc and fake argue out loud to ruin couples dates • at the end of the day he takes you to windrise were he makes a toast to your long lasting friendship

wanderer - ♡ • valentine's day?? love?? affection?? EWWW thumbs DOWN!! • ^ he proceeded to say but you don't fail to notice that he's a bit more affectionate today hmm.... • he doesn't get you alot because he has to keep up his eww valentine's day persona however if you pass something you like he might buy it.... just maybe...

xiangling - ♡ • she makes you food duhh! she knows exactly what you likes so she incorporates your favorite flavors into new recipes • she makes guoba wear a little suit while severing you two the meals she made • she spoon feeds you and gets super excited when you like her cooking!!

xiao - ♡ • another eww valentine's day guy but alot mode toned down.. • he just... doesn't care at all. but for you he'll try • he makes you a plate of almond tofu along with a small bunch of flowers, he's so embarrassed he kinda just teleports away

xingqiu - ♡ • he plans an adventure for the both of you! he'll lead you through monsters and almost dangerous path, but do not fret he is here to protect his leige from all harm! • the real date area is a old swinging bench he found awhile back! it's not the most scenic but it's the thought that counts • he brings a book you both enjoy so he can read for you (aww how cute now come home c6 Xingqiu.)

xinyan - ♡ • probably gets xiangling to make you guys your favorite food! you two eat and happily chat away • afterwards she takes you to the shore were she plays a softer love song on her guitar

yae miko - ♡ • she's extra flirty today. normally she's sly and makes you flustered but today she gets real bold • she takes you to a nice restaurant and gives you your gift, which is a novel she likes • before you two part ways she gives you a big kiss

yanfei - ♡ • because I'm tired she probably just takes you on a nice outing, occasionally telling you about intresting court cases she had recently • madame ping saw you two holding hands and immediately went elderly grandma mode and asked thousands of questions

yaoyao (platonic) - ♡ • like faruzan I don't know much about her • probably made little valentine's day cards for her favorite people in liyue with includes you! • she also got you a hearted shaped lollipop

yelan - ♡ • like Sara she also is busy because sadly crime doesn't stop for valentine's day • however she does send flowers and chocolates to your workplace along with a note saying she'll meet her later

yoimiya - ♡ • fireworks? fireworks!!! • she makes a ton of heart-shaped fireworks for you and all the other couples but mostly you • she excitedly points up at the sky when they finally go off, her eyes scanning your face to look for satisfaction

yun jin - ♡ • I also don't know much about her • she probably preforms an opera about love to the people of liyue and during the parts were she sings about couples kissing and giving gifts she always winks at you in the crowd

zhongli - ♡ • this old soul probably does the classic candlelit dinner and some sort of jewelry gift • he's been alive for so long so this valentine's day means alot for him • after all, he's chosen you hundreds of times

dainsleif - ♡ • he also doesn't care for valentine's day alot, after all he's been alone for so long • on the actual day he takes you to an open field where the breeze is just right and the sky is clear • here he points out constellations he recognizes and tells you stories about them that should be long forgotten to time

kaveh - ♡ • one word: dramatic • probably steals alhaithams credit card and buys you the most beautiful flowers and the most elegant clothing ! • he takes you to an expensive restaurant were as you two eat he tells you all the latest gossip along with how much he loves you

mika - ♡ • he gives you a free assassination ticket with the biggest grin on his face • you're like what and he pulls out a shotgun still smiling • plz point to someone you hate and run • fandom mika is so funny never change him

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 6

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 845

Masterlist

Saturday can't come soon enough. I feel like this week has lasted an entire year.

Then it's finally Saturday morning. I'm happy to go to work today, because at the end of the morning shift, you'll be waiting for me. My reward for my work. You won't even mind that I won't have time to change out of my usual clothes - it's a deliberate choice on my end, because you like how I look. You told Nadia about it on Twitter just three days ago.

@MoonShadow_: waarom zijn jongens in boekwinkels altijd zo lekker 😭😭

Which translates to: why are boys in bookstores always so hot

I didn’t realize you were thinking this way, (Y/n). If I'd known, maybe I would have made a move already.

Candace wasn't nearly this hard to read.

Candace wouldn't have been worth all this waiting, though.

I'm not ashamed to admit that Candace was a wrong choice. I thought I saw something in her that wanted to be known by me, to be taken care of, but I was wrong. You, on the other hand, are unknown to almost everyone except your dear childhood friend. It must be so lonely. But when you're with me, you won't have to be alone anymore.

Ethan notices I'm distracted today, but he doesn't say anything about it. He's happy to take over the regular customer service duties if it means I'll run up and down the basement stairs carrying heavy books from eight to twelve. Ethan is the kind of guy who swears by a Kindle.

You'd never use a Kindle, would you? I can't imagine it. You buy books way too often to bother about something as asinine as digital reading.

Maybe if I tell you the Kindle is everything that's wrong with modern-day America, you'll laugh and agree with me. But then again, maybe you'll just think I'm a ‘gatekeeping dick’. That's what you called someone on Twitter when they said The Secret History was awful and that only insufferable, snobbish, self-absorbed, classist rich kids would ever think to read this shit. Don't kill me, (Y/n), but I kind of agree with the guy. One day you'll see my side.

I kind of agree with you too, though: the world needs to learn how to read again, it doesn't matter where they start.

I used to judge people for what they bought at Mooney's, but now I don’t anymore. At least they're reading. You're making me a better person that way. You're making me realize that even if people are just reading whatever bullshit they saw on TikTok, at least they're reading.

It's one pm, and you're late. I'm not too upset about it, though. You texted me about an hour ago.

YOU: omigod joe!!!

YOU: my boss is super pissed i forgot to send a client this important email

YOU: i gotta fix my mistake i might be like

YOU: 15 mins late

ME: Don't worry. Take your time.

YOU: 😅

I didn't reply to your smiley. What on earth am I meant to say to a picture of a smiling face? Besides, a smiley isn't worth nearly as much as your actual smile.

And there you are.

Only ten minutes late. It could have been worse.

You look flushed like maybe you ran here, and your hair is a mess so you've covered it with a beanie again, but you also look so happy to see me. I'm happy to see you, too.

You hug me.

“I'm so sorry,” you say. I'm not sure what you're apologising for, because I'm still trying to get over the fact that you hugged me. “I've had such a crazy morning.”

“You're not even that late,” I assure you, which is true. Candace used to be hours late, sometimes. Sometimes she didn't show up at all. “Do you mind giving me a minute? I want to wash my hands and stuff.”

I don't need a minute. I've been ready to leave for a while now. But I think you might need some time, and I can tell you won't ask for it.

“Yeah, yeah,” you say. “No problem.”

So I turn and I head to the bathroom. This means leaving you alone with Ethan, which may be risky. Ethan might say something stupid, or something about me. But then again, I don't think he'd ruin ‘getting some tail’ for me.

In the bathroom, I wash my hands and check my hair. I look how I always do after a shift at Mooney's, but I think that's fine.

You look beautiful, (Y/n). It's too soon to tell you something like that, but you do.

I emerge. You look calmer now. You're waiting in the office - Ethan must have let you in - sitting with your hands behind your head and your feet on the table. Stretched like that, I can see a bit of the skin above your jean shorts.

It's deliberate. You're taunting me.

“Hey,” you say. “All ready?”

You're wearing make-up. You don't usually wear make-up.

“All ready,” I agree.

[teaberrii]

Chapter Six: The President's Jealousy

You and Cyno can’t be more different. He’s Akademiya’s perfect student council president. You’re a labelled, cursed delinquent who changes into a cat for eight hours when kissed.

When Cyno gets a complaint about you, he’s forced to take action, only for it to lead to unexpected circumstances.

Cyno/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Catnip: Do you know if Professor Alhaitham is still chaperoning the school trip?

“Haitham? Why is she asking about him?”

Cyno looks over his shoulder and sees Nahida standing on a chair to look at his phone. “There’s something called privacy, Nahida,” he says, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

Nahida frowns as she gets off the chair. “There’s also something called ‘paying attention to people when they’re talking to you.’ I’ve been asking you to pass the tissue for like five minutes!” Then, she takes a long sip of her water. “Something on your mind? Or… someone?”

“Very funny.”

“Hm… but is she close to Haitham? I thought he said they only talked a few times. Maybe they’re closer than he let on?”

Closer than he let on? Is Nahida implying something, or is Cyno overthinking? It’s no secret that Alhaitham is popular with almost everyone. Does that include you? As Nahida brings her empty plate to the kitchen, Cyno takes out his phone and writes: Why do you ask?

His phone pings with a message just as he's hoping to get a response in the same night.

Catnip: Just curious.

Very informative.

I guess you’ll see.

Cyno imagines you pouting, and it isn’t until Nahida comes out of the kitchen and asks, “Why are you smiling?” does he realize that he is, in fact, smiling.

Cyno turns off his phone screen and puts it on the table. “Nothing.”

Nahida looks at him skeptically. “There’s something weird about you lately.”

Cyno glances at her, knowing she wants to tease him about you. He finishes the rest of his food and stands. "I'll make you enough food and put it in the fridge before I leave next week."

“Don’t have too much fun without me,” Nahida says, following him to the kitchen. “And make sure to bring me a souvenir!” As she helps Cyno with the dishes, she glances at him. “So… is Catnip going?”

“Along with a lot of other students.”

“Why do you call her Catnip? Is she a cat lover?”

If only Nahida knew. But, instead, Cyno slightly smiles and says, “What if she is?”

Nahida smiles. “Then, she’s a friend of mine!” Cyno wonders if she forgot about Jebrael but decided not to bring it up. “Will you introduce me to her one day?”

“I thought you were afraid of her.”

“A cat lover can’t be a bad person.”

Cyno doesn’t know if he should be concerned that Nahida is too easily convinced. “In her case, I agree.”

“Besides, it doesn’t seem like you’re afraid of her. So, if you aren’t, why should I?”

“If the opportunity comes, I’ll introduce you,” Cyno says, turning off the tap.

Nahida smiles mischievously. "As Catnip or as your girlfriend?"

"One more word and you're on your own next week."

That does the trick.

◆◆◆

Blue skies. A cool breeze. Decent temperatures. No one could’ve asked for a better day to depart for the sea. Cyno stands in a group along with the other student council members, including Tighnari and Candace. The two are bickering about something, but that all falls on deaf ears when Cyno sees you walking towards the busses with your small luggage.

But that’s not the only person who catches his attention.

Alhaitham is walking next to you, chatting with you about something. But, whatever it is, he’s making you laugh, and Cyno has never seen that kind of smile on your face before. He doesn’t know what it is, but he suddenly feels strange. It’s a feeling that he can’t describe. Bothered? Annoyed? Whatever it is, Cyno doesn’t like it. At all.

Cyno is still looking in your direction when Tighnari walks up beside him. “Aren’t you going to say hi to Catnip?”

“Who?”

Tighnari turns to Candace and nods toward you. “It’s what Cyno calls her.”

Candace laughs. “Catnip, huh?” Then, she nudges him. “I didn’t know you two are already giving each other nicknames. Or did this start after she returned your shirt?”

As the other members, including Tighnari, start snickering, Cyno gives Candace a look and says, "Very funny."

“You know… she’s kind of hot, don’t you think?”

One of the girls hits the boy’s arm. “Are you leering?”

“What? No! I… I’m just saying what’s on my mind! We’re always wearing uniforms, so—”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Candace deadpans. She gives him an unimpressed look. “Best keep your thoughts to yourself if you don’t want people getting the wrong idea.”

It isn't too hot or too cool. It's the perfect weather to show a little more skin than usual, and most students are taking advantage of that. Most of the boys are wearing tanks or t-shirts and surf shorts. The girls have more variety. Some are wearing athletic clothing that shows off a little of their midriff. Others are wearing halter tops, casual tees, or summer dresses. But Cyno could care less.

You're wearing high-waisted sweatpants with a loose-fitting white tee that's neatly tucked in, showing off your nice waistline. Cyno admits you look… good. But he would never say that out loud.

“Should we go say hi?” Candace asks.

Some members are reluctant, including Tighnari. So, Cyno finally says, "She's quite interesting once you get to know her."

“If Mr. President says so, then it must be so,” Candace jokes.

When you make eye contact with him, Cyno is about to walk over, but Candace beats him. She takes the lead while everyone else follows behind her.

"Hey, Catnip." You turn to her, clearly shocked by the nickname. "Name's Candace." Cyno catches your deadpan glance at him, and he responds with a small, mischievous smile. "I'm your roommate over the next few days."

You also give her your name and say, "I wonder who you heard that nickname from."

Candace smiles. “It’s okay if we call you that, too, right?”

“I… guess.”

“Cool.” Then, Candace swings an arm around you. “Welcome to the Losers club, Catnip!”

“Losers club?”

"It's an inside joke we have," Tighnari says. "Long story short, we came up with it when we started together."

“But why Losers club?” you ask. “Don’t you people pretty much run the school?”

“Losers ain’t shirkers,” Candace says. “It’s a bad joke we have going on.”

You nod slowly, and Cyno finds your look of surprise amusing. You look like a fish out of water. Is it because you aren’t used to people? That can’t be… knowing your background. Or maybe you’re just not used to having friends at this school.

“Seems like you have nothing to worry about,” Alhaitham says, looking at you. “They’ll take good care of you. But, if anything does happen, you can always let me know.”

Cyno notices your little smile at Alhaitham as you say, “Thank you, professor.”

Since when are you so… formal? It isn't like you at all. Soon, the other chaperones start arriving, including Kaveh, who claps his hands to gather the students for some last-minute announcements before boarding the bus.

What were you and Alhaitham talking about? If anything does happen, you can always let me know. Did something happen? Since Cyno learned about who you are, you've diligently attended school. Does that mean you trust him or distrust him?

Cyno caught you on the rooftop eating lunch one day. You looked at him and said, “Don’t tell me this is our secret meeting place now.” Cyno oddly liked the sound of that. “Are you keeping tabs on me now, prez?”

“Are you saying I don’t trust you?” Cyno asked, walking up to you.

You shrugged. “Not scared I’ll be terrorizing students?”

“I guess that means you won’t be.”

You laughed softly. “Gotta admit, I’m not used to this.”

Cyno sat next to you. “Used to what?”

“Someone knowing who I am.”

I’m trying to protect you. That was what Cyno wanted to say. But instead, he opened a lunch box and passed it to you. “Do you like samosas?”

“Did you make it?” you asked, taking one.

"I made sure not to poison it." Cyno watched you take a bite, and your expression turned into approval. "Not bad, prez. Maybe I should hire you to be my personal chef."

That’s the first compliment you’ve given me since we met.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you said. “I use them sparingly.”

“Then… that means you have more to give.”

You gave him a deadpan look and stood. "I have a class to get to." Then, just before you left, you turned around and said, "I'm still keeping an eye on you."

So… did that mean you didn’t trust him?

You and Cyno don't end up on the same bus. Instead, he's stuck with Tighnari while you're on the other bus with Candace. Cyno and Tighnari sit at the back, with Tighnari doing most of the talking. Somewhere along the journey, the vice president shared some snacks with Cyno and dozed off… his head occasionally hitting Cyno's shoulder until Cyno had enough. He's about to straighten his friend out until Tighnari awakes with a start.

“Are you okay…?” Cyno asks, taking out his earbuds.

Tighnari puts a hand over his heart. “I had a bad dream.” He turns to Cyno and takes him by the shoulders. “There were these… strange mushroom-like creatures. They were chasing us in a forest fire and—”

Cyno puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It’s a dream. It's okay.”

Kaveh, sitting in front of the two, peeks over the seat. "You okay there, Tighnari?" Kaveh holds up a chamomile tea bag. "I think you could use this."

Tighnari takes a small breath. “Yes, please.”

Kaveh turns to Alhaitham. “Get out of here.”

Cyno's cousin stands and gives his roommate a deadpan look before switching places with Tighnari. Cyno's about to put his earbuds back in when Alhaitham suddenly says, "You're annoyed."

Cyno slowly turns to him. “I’m not.”

“Are you sure?”

“The more you ask, the more I’m getting annoyed.”

"That means something was already on your mind." Cyno scoffs quietly. He's about to put in his earbuds when Alhaitham says, "It's about Catnip, isn't it?"

Cyno didn’t mind when Candace and Tighnari called you that, so why does it strike a nerve when Alhaitham does?

“What about her?” Cyno asks quietly.

“She came to talk to me... about her friend.”

Your friend? The one that he and Candace are suspicious about? “Did something happen?”

"They're paired together for a project for my class. But…" Alhaitham then tells Cyno how your friend had come to him about problems with you. Something about you bullying her and raising the confrontation in the parking lot as an example. "I don't know what's happening between them, but I called her in."

“Me? Bullying her?”

“Don’t misunderstand,” Alhaitham said. “I didn’t call you here to accuse you. I just want to hear your side of the story. Perhaps it’s just a miscommunication.”

Alhaitham didn’t know what to make of your silence. Were you scared? He didn’t want to think your friend was right. So, then, why weren’t you saying anything?

“Could you tell me what she said?” you finally asked.

“I’m afraid I can’t.”

You sighed. "It's true I confronted her in the parking lot over some things happening. Strange things, really." You started fidgeting. "I don't know if you heard about a strange photo accidentally posted to a group chatroom."

“I have. I also heard that it involved… you? What I do know for sure was that it was deleted immediately.”

“I know the student who posted it. I don’t know him personally, but I know he’s friends with her.”

“What was this photo?”

“It was of me… and a few of my friends at The Red Sand.”

“Where you go after hours isn’t anyone’s business,” Alhaitham said. “But… what was the issue with the photo?”

"If you looked closely, you might be mistaken that we were dealing drugs, which we weren't."

“Let me backtrack for a second here… how did you know about this photo in the first place?”

“She said she was being blackmailed,” Alhaitham says. “A person sent that photo to her saying that they had more ‘suspicious dealings’... a little concerned about what that means.”

How long have you been keeping this a secret? Does Jebrael know? Does your grandmother know? If Alhaitham hadn't come to talk to you, would he know? How much are you keeping bottled up?

“Have you reported this?”

“The truth is… I don’t know how much it would help,” you said. “Or… if it would even help at all.”

Alhaitham looked at you worriedly. “But you not saying anything makes things worse.”

“The thing is, professor, I have reasons for keeping this a secret.” Alhaitham sensed you were struggling to tell him something, and he didn’t want to push you. “But, please believe me that I’m not a bad person. I also didn’t bully her.”

“Why do you think it was her and not that student?”

“I went to talk with him.”

"She said that photo was also sent to a chatroom she was in," Alhaitham says. "Which was how she knew it was being spread around."

“Did she go alone?”

Alhaitham nods. "The student apparently said that her friend gave a tip. That student was curious… so he followed her."

Cyno thought the photo was just a bad joke. But now it’s concerning and scary. Who is this girl? And what does she want from you?

“Have you been supporting her?”

“I’m doing what I can,” Alhaitham says. “I don’t think she’s a bad person, but I also sense she’s not telling me everything. Something that she cannot reveal, perhaps?”

“You’re right,” Cyno says, looking his cousin in the eyes. “She’s not a bad person.”

Tighnari suddenly pokes his head out from over the seat. “Who’s not a bad person? Catnip?”

“Catnip?” After Tighnari explains the nickname, Kaveh smiles at Cyno. “Seems like you two are getting along well.” Then, he looks at Alhaitham and Tighnari. “Did I tell you that Cyno asked me to excuse her for being late the other day?”

“Oh, is it that day when she returned your shirt?”

"Tighnari," Cyno says sternly. "Do I need to remind everyone that you accidentally went into the girls' washroom when drunk at the beginning of last semester?"

Kaveh turns to Tighnari. “Wait a minute... the pervert they were complaining about was you?”

Tighnari turns bright red. “It was an accident!”

Cyno turns back to the scenery outside the window. He’s glad Alhaitham took the time to talk to you. But why did Cyno have to find out through his cousin? Cyno knows that’s beside the point. Getting you out of danger is priority number one. Yet, Cyno can’t shake this annoying feeling that bugs him for the rest of the way.

◆◆◆

It's evening by the time everyone arrives at the beach houses. Since it's late, the students get the rest of the day off after dinner. After everyone scatters to put their things in their dorms, Cyno catches you with Kaveh and Alhaitham. He thinks of walking over before Tighnari calls him. So, he gives you one last look before following his friend toward the dorm.

Soon, Cyno and Tighnari arrive at the dining hall and join Candace and the other student council members at a table. Not long after, Cyno sees you come with Alhaitham, and something stirs within him. Since when is Cyno so… emotional? This isn't like him at all. When he meets your eyes, he holds your stare, unaware that he's staring at you so intensely that you're forced to look away.

After some time, Candace asks, “Hey, what’s everyone doing for their free time tomorrow? Should we go swimming? The weather’s supposed to be nice.”

Tighnari opens the catalogue of activities that the students can take part in. "There are too many great options."

Candace looks at Cyno and then at his food. “Cyno.” He looks up, and she nods toward his food. “You barely touched your food. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Maybe it’s the long ride here?” one of the girls asks as she digs into her bag for some pills to cure dizziness. “I have some medicine that will help.”

“It’s okay,” Cyno says. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine.” Then, he stands. “I’m going to get some fresh air.”

Cyno walks out to an empty pier. The weather has gotten chilly, but Cyno is still in his black, tight-fitting tank top. He doesn't make it halfway when he hears a familiar voice behind him.

"At least you're wearing a shirt this time." Cyno turns around and sees you walking up to him. "It's kind of chilly, though. Careful not to catch a cold, prez."

“What are you doing out here, Catnip?”

“Got bored. What are you doing out here?” Cyno doesn’t answer you and continues walking. Soon, he hears you catching up to him. “Did I do something?”

Cyno stops and looks at you, surprised that you look… worried? "No," he says. "Why would you think that?"

“Well, you ignored me just now.” You awkwardly scratch your head. “That’s… never happened.”

“Did that bother you?” It’s a stupid question. Cyno knows that. So why did he ask? He sighs. “Don’t answer that.”

"I wouldn't say something if it didn't. We're friends, aren't we?" you say, looking away.

Well, at least you finally acknowledged your friendship status.

“Then, let me ask you. What do you think about Alhaitham?”

"Professor Alhaitham? Your cousin?" Cyno looks at you in surprise. Has he ever told you that Alhaitham is his cousin? Then again, you might've heard about it from someone else. Then, as if reading his mind, you say, "You said you were camping with your cousins… I wanted to return your shirt and towel to you that night, and I saw Professor Alhaitham and Kaveh."

Cyno remembers the rustle in the bushes. "Did you want to return it, and then you ran?"

“Yeah… I didn’t know Professor Alhaitham would be there.” Is that a slight blush on your cheeks? Do you… do you like Alhaitham? No. You can't. Cyno doesn't know why. You just can't. His thoughts are everywhere, incoherent and incomprehensible, but before he can say anything, you say, "I felt awkward seeing them… so I thought I'd return your things when I saw you at school." Cyno blinks once. Twice. Awkward? You felt… awkward? "I didn't know you were related to one of the scariest professors in school."

“Scary?” Cyno uncharacteristically blurts out. “You think Haitham is… scary?”

You cross your arms. "Well, yeah. In the beginning. He never smiles… like you. He also keeps to himself a lot. So when he called me in to talk to me, I thought I would pee my pants." A pause. "Slightly exaggerated, but you get the idea."

Cyno scoffs. “Hard to imagine you’d be scared of anyone.”

“It’s always the quiet ones, I tell you.”

“Did he talk to you about your friend?”

Your eyes widen. "How do you know?"

So, Cyno spends some time telling you what Alhaitham told him on the bus. "He isn't the person to pry. So he won't force you to tell him something you don't want to. But he doesn't believe you're a bad person."

“I don’t know what he thinks of her,” you say. “But I understand his position. He can’t take a side. But… I think you’re right. He’s not a bad person. From what I told him, he’s not judging me… and that’s enough for me.”

“Were you going to tell anyone about it? Haitham only found out because she complained about you.”

"I… don't know. I was thinking of resolving this on my own. Why get other people involved in my shit?"

“Because what if something happened to you?” You look stunned, and Cyno isn't surprised why. That came out a little more forceful than he intended.

"Well… I…"

Cyno puts a hand around your head and pulls you close until his body barely touches yours. "Don't forget that you have me."

He hears you chuckle nervously. “W-what’s gotten into you, prez? It’s just a photo. I can—”

“Handle it?”

“Y-yeah.”

Cyno slowly lets you go, and he senses that you can’t look him in the eyes. “Then we’ll handle it together.”

Finally, you look at him, and his eyes widen slightly when you bring a hand to his cheek. Your thumb brushes against his cheekbone, but your amused smile throws him off.

“I didn’t know you were such a smooth talker, prez.”

In one day, Cyno's emotions had more ups and downs than they had in years. So, the last thing he needs is to take them on another rollercoaster ride. But your one reply is already strapping them in.

Cheers erupt from the beach house, and you quickly turn to see students and teachers coming out and about.

“Looks like the party’s already begun.” Cyno watches you walk a few steps and turn back. Probably because he isn't following you. “You coming, prez? Or should I drink enough for the both of us?” Cyno sighs softly and starts following you back to the beach house when you say, “Oh, you asked me what I thought about Professor Alhaitham... He’s cute.”

Cyno looks at you and says, “No, he isn’t.”

You smile widely. "You're just jealous."

Cyno doesn't know what's worse. Not knowing if you're teasing him or if the only way to see you smile at him like that is to mention his 'cute' cousin.

Chapter Seven

End notes: I've been brainstorming on ways to get the kitty goodness happening... and it's happening. NEXT CHAPTER. I thought of putting it into this chapter, but it would become freakishly long... So, next chapter it is. 💀 For now, I hope you enjoyed Cyno's jealousy hehe

Tag list: @lordbugs @suoshiii @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @sketcheeee @iwishitwas

[mynameis-a]

I need Dehya and Candace and Layla and also Nahida and everyone else to hear Kaveh's voice right now and get traumatized

On another note is it just Alhaitham voice or is Kaveh able to mimic others too

i feel like nahida would be one of the least fazed by it, and more just impressed at kaveh's skill. or she would be even more scared than alhaitham. i mean she is still a child and children get scared by things easily.

nilou as i mentioned before would probably be pretty calm with it.

dehya, candace, and faruzan would be like cyno; very disturbed by it, but not as bad as some (read: alhaitham) + they would get slightly more used to it after a while. deyha would probably be the most freaked out of the four, followed by cyno, then faruzan, then candace.

layla would think the lack of sleep was getting to her, and that she was either hallucinating kaveh when it was actually alhaitham, or hearing alhaithams voice when he wasnt there. when she gets told, she is just very confused, but still unnerved by it.

wanderer would just be like "is this a weird human thing that i didnt know about? or is there something more to this guy than i thought." would be much more entertained by seeing everyone elses reactions as opposed to freaked out.

tighnari would really not like it, being second to alhaitham when it comes to "who is more disturbed by this". his primary sense is hearing, he relies on being able to tell whats happening and who is nearby just by the sounds. so hearing one person's voice coming from a completely different person? yeah he really doesnt like that.

almost forgot about her, but it scares dori too. she makes sure to change the subject whenever kaveh starts talking about alhaitham just so she doesn't have to hear it.

as for the second part, its not just alhaitham that he can do the voice of.

cyno is very easy to get right, partially because he's so used to doing the monotone voice and expression for alhaitham. plus, kaveh has heard so many of cyno's jokes that he could easily slide one of those into conversation to be even more in character.

he's not as good with tighnari's, if you really listen closely the impression isn't quite perfect, but he still does a concerningly good job. if you thought tighnari was freaked out with his impression of alhaitham? lets hope he never hears kaveh's impression of himself.

hell, he could even do wanderer's voice if he really practiced it. which, you know how i said that wanderer wouldnt be freaked out by kaveh's impressions? yeah if kaveh ever does his voice, that statement will be rescinded in a heartbeat.

[empyrangel]

Finally got around to doing the new event and I gotta say it’s pretty good. Have a few thoughts about it.

Very Kaveh centered (almost like a Kaveh story quest) of course and I think he deserved it. I think it was executed very well. Alhaitham is important to anything Kaveh related, they’re a package deal, and his parts seemed pretty good too. Even though Kaveh was the main character I think they did a good job of incorporating most of the other Sumeru characters.

Layla had a nice arc and it was good seeing her interactions with the other characters like Tighnari.

Tighnari and Cyno didn’t have a huge role, but I think the screen time they did have was sufficient. They had some nice scenes and got just as much attention as they needed, especially considering that they were already significant characters in the last event.

Faruzan was great as always. Loved her dynamic with Kaveh! Seeing her appreciate someone instead of always looking down on everyone was refreshing. Their interactions might have been the best part of the event.

Wanderer had a nice role. Enigmatic background work suits him. The reveal at the end about him having been entered into the championship by Nahida was anticlimactic and underwhelming since that was already obvious from the beginning, especially since he even told us she was the one who enrolled him in Vahumana. The concept of him being sentenced to something like that as like community service or something is kinda funny. But also imagine being a top Vahumana scholar and you’re favored to be picked to represent your darshan in the championship and then Lesser Lord Kusanali herself picks some stranger who wrote a few essays and on top of that he doesn’t even try at all until the final round. Your darshan would be a laughing stock and have the worst performance of any darshan in any championship ever. Vahumana must be in shambles right now.

As for Nahida herself, I think only including her at the very end was a good move. Everything even remotely Sumeru related for the past like 8-9 months has been about her. This event can stand to not be about her. She fulfilled her purpose and her inclusion didn’t feel forced or contrived, that’s good enough.

Dehya and Candace didn’t have a lot of screen time but I think it worked for them. Their purpose was casual appearances as tourists in Sumeru city and to advance the plot line about the eremite assassins. While I inwardly wish that Candace had been there more, I understand that this wasn’t about her and she didn’t need more screen time than she got. Fingers crossed she’s the next four star to get a hangout event so she can finally get more attention.

Dori also had a minor role, one which was mostly confined to side quests. Still, I think it went pretty well. Her purpose was to introduce information which would give us context about the main plot line of the event. I’d say that was executed good enough. My only criticism would be that her giving us free information multiple times felt contrived and out of character, but it’s such a trivial detail that I guess it doesn’t matter.

Collei and Nilou are where you can tell that they really just tried to squeeze every playable Sumeru character into this event no matter how it turned out.

Collei was there for two seconds no joke. I thought for sure that she would come back to help Tighnari in the other two rounds but that didn’t happen. She was so insignificant that I almost forgot she was even in the event at all. I don’t feel too sorry for her though, and I don’t really care much about this because Collei hogged over half of the screentime in the last Mondstadt event and I think she deserves a taste of her own medicine.

But Nilou. Oh Nilou. They did her dirty. They did her so dirty. I came into this event thinking that surely they’d half-ass it and only portray her as this shallow, ditzy, nice girl- I really didn’t expect much for her, but I still did not expect that they simply wouldn’t portray her at all. Genuine question; Why the hell was she even there? She did absolutely nothing. She had like three lines and two of them were like “let me go get the paper for the lots” or something. All of the commentary and announcer stuff (and literally anything else) that she could have done was done by Alhaitham. If one announcer was all they needed then why pretend that Nilou has any business being there, she was just there for no reason. If she’s not needed then don’t give me false hope just to not incorporate her into the event at all, what a waste. I heard that Alhaitham and Nilou were going to interact and I was excited to see their dynamic. I think he acknowledged her maybe once and that’s it. They could’ve had their conflicting personalities be used as a source of comedy, or as foils to one another. So much potential and nothing came of it. Giving Nilou literally anything to do wouldn’t have distracted from the rest of the event in the slightest. I’m so disappointed at that.

[televinita]

Goodreads Choice Awards but the nominees are just the books I've personally shelved

I have a lot of thoughts about the options as they exist (mostly not that bad, except when it comes to the total elimination of children's literature, about which I am furious), but per usual I can't really articulate them in a coherent way SO I sorted my shelves by publication date, ignored the GCA requirement of a minimum 3.5 average rating, and am doing this instead.

[update: oops this did not turn out coherent either. but it got typed!]

Important Reminder: These are not all books I consider equal contenders for "best." I simply wanted to highlight every possible option I actually knew about and have read or am interested in reading.

YA

After the Sirens - Sharon Farrell

Begin Again - Emma Lord (forgot to add this one before)

The Brothers Hawthorne - Jennifer Lynn Barnes (actual nominee and I'm gonna vote for it even though it seems like it may be more of a filler book. The Davenports is the only other official nom to intrigue me, and its lower average rating + hideous cartoon cover isn't enough to flip me unread so sorry, we're going Basic Popularity Contest Pick)

Cleaning Up - Leanne Lieberman

Five Survive - Holly Jackson (definitely not a winner)

Gather - Kenneth M. Cadow (edit: National Book Award finalist?? like with the adult fiction??)

Good as Gold -- Candace Buford (definite contender for fave so far)

Holly Horror - Michelle Jabès Corpora

The Island - Natasha Preston (lol. lmao even. but ridiculous fun)

The Lake House - Sarah Beth Durst

A Long Stretch of Bad Days - Mindy McGinnis

The Renaissance of Gwen Hathaway - Ashley Schumacher (here on author loyalty only)

Three Rivers - Sarah Stusek (THAT'S RIGHT. HER.)

Summer Rental - Rektok Ross (why am I this aware of brand-new ya horror??) (because I love horror and it's usually better paced and spookier and less shock-gory than the adult brand? fair)

YA FANTASY / SCI FI

Dream to Me - Megan Paasch (I think it would go here, anyway. but maybe it's just regular YA)

The Eternal Ones - Namina Forna (I gotta remember this series exists)

FANTASY

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries -- winner winner pick!! (no like officially)

Starling House - Alix E. Harrow (though this is a close second, and honestly, if they weren't both actual nominees I'd think The Unmaking of June Farrow has some potential intrigue)

ROMANCE

Hazel Fine Sings Along - Katie Wicks (no comment on its Wattpad origin. I didn't notice until just now. have not read it.)

Famous For A Living - Melissa Ferguson (popular enough for Once Upon a Book Club! but not for for an official nom, despite my hopes, in this fiercely competitive category. boooo)

Out On a Limb - Hannah Bonam-Young (damn I actually saw this one making rounds on BookTube, thought it might be here)

Something Wild & Wonderful - Anita Kelly (can't believe there's actually a queer romance I want to see show up and it doesn't)

(Bonus: legit nominees I am considering for validity include Happy Place; Yours Truly - I really need to figure out if Emily Henry and Abby Jimenez are in my wheelhouse or not - and Hello Stranger, though as much as I like Katherine Center this one does not call to me)

FICTION

This Bird Has Flown - Susanna Hoffs (might also have been under romance if picked for the actual GCA? feels more mainstream than that but idk. anyway HATERS 2 THE LEFT.)

^ also my pick for debut

The Lost Manuscript - Mollie Rushmeyer (dunno which category this would officially go in either. probably romance? maybe mystery? but it's got a lot more plot than the average romance)

HISTORICAL FICTION

The Echo of Old Books - Barbara Davis (holy crap this one's actually in the nominations?! Instant vote. Almost disappointing because there are some other candidates I would have felt fine voting for to block the worse ones, but this is the only one on my acute TBR. If I don't give at least 4 stars I will be shocked)

MYSTERY/THRILLER

Forgotten Trail - Claire Kells

The Hike - Lucy Clarke

The Only One Left - Riley Sager

Homecoming - Kate Morton (crisis alert! the latter two are both official nominees and I am equally interested in both/both have equally good track records with me) (probs. gonna vote Kate on the principle of female solidarity. even though this is really stretching the definition of "mystery")

HORROR

A Haunting on the Hill - Elizabeth Hand

(How To Sell a Haunted House is a hard maybe but also the only one I think I'd even consider trying from the official noms)

MEMOIR

Paris: The Memoir - Paris Hilton

The Woman in Me - Britney Spears

Grimoire Girl - Hilarie Burton Morgan

Tell Me Everything - Minka Kelly

If You Would Have Told Me - John Stamos

Goodbye to Clocks Ticking - Joseph Monninger (forgot I just stumbled upon this one recently! it's on my library list but not my GR account)

and one more except GCA put it in a different category hang on

Three of these - not Burton's, alas - are actually nominees. Britney is gonna win but not without a fight from me. Do I go with Paris, whose memoir impressed me even though I still don't care much for her as a person, or Minka, whose memoir I haven't read but whose reviews sound excellent and whom I like more?

HUMOR

Being Henry - Henry Winkler (there is absolutely no reason for this not to be nominated in memoir btw. I hope it wins Humor because nothing else appeals in that category and I have multiple vendettas (SAMANTHA IRBY), but it would be as misplaced a win as the Office Ladies book was last year. fully deserving of an award! actually the best of the given nominees! but also like an adult beating a bunch of children in a footrace.)

MIDDLE GRADE

(no longer a GCA category but it fudgin' should be)

Just Gus - McCall Hoyle

Falling Out of Time - Margaret Peterson Haddix (actually glad I don't have to choose between these two because like. dogs - but also boy MC - or author loyalty ft. sequel to my childhood fave??)

Rosie Frost and the Falcon Queen - Geri Halliwell The Spice Girl (no. 😔) (and yet it is still on my shelf)

I have no strong opinions for any categories I skipped.

[kudosmyhero]

Daredevil (vol. 1) #116: Two Flew Over the Owl's Nest!

Read Date: June 16, 2023 Cover Date: December 1974 ● Writer: Steve Gerber ● Penciler: Gene Colan ● Inker: Vince Colletta ● Colorist: Petra Goldberg ● Letterer: John Costanza ● Editor: Roy Thomas ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● oo, I like when Lawyer!Matt has issue with the actions of Vigilante!Daredevil. it’s an interesting dichotomy that I think should be explored more. I’m really early in DD’s career at this point, though, so I’ll hazard a guess that it has indeed been covered in depth at some point

● I almost forgot that the Owl is in this issue! ● I ain’t even mad that Matt is back in San Francisco ● 👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: With his Billy-Club destroyed, Daredevil rushes back to his New York hotel room with a grappling hook and some rope. There he finds Foggy and explains that he was mugged and the crooks even stole his Billy-Club in order to cover for his secret identity. As he is trying to explain to Candace and Foggy that the Death-Stalker is seemingly dead and the evidence regarding Operation: Sulfer have been destroyed, Matt gets a call from the Black Widow. When he asks if he can call back, the Widow angrily hangs up the phone without explaining what the emergency is.

A few days later after Matt Murdock has arranged to have the charges against Candace Nelson dropped, Daredevil travels back to San Francisco to see what the problem with Black Widow is. Returning to her former mansion home, he finds that she has been evicted and that new tenants have taken over.

Deciding to head over to police headquarters to see if Paul Carson knows where Natasha is, Daredevil stops to bust a group of crooks. When one of them grabs a little girl and holds her at gun point, Daredevil is hard pressed to do anything when suddenly the Black Widow drops out of the air and knocks the gunman out. With all the crooks kayoed, Daredevil and Black Widow embrace. This lets their guard down long enough for one of the crooks to make a break for it. Daredevil is unable to track him due to the noise from the gathered crowd.

The crook enters his employers secret hideout, who turns out to be Daredevil's old foe the Owl. The Owl kills his lackey and decides to deal with Daredevil before continuing his criminal operations in San Francisco. As Daredevil and the Black Widow are talking about her current financial woes when they are attacked by the Owl and a helicopter full of his gun toting henchmen.

During the fight Daredevil is scratched by the Owl's ring which is laced with a fast acting poison which makes Daredevil and easy defeat. When the Black Widow attempts to defend herself she is grazed across the forehead with a bullet shot from the helicopter and is knocked out as well. With both heroes unconscious the Owl has them loaded up in his chopper so that he can deal with them as he sees fit.

(https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Daredevil_Vol_1_116)

Fan Art: The Owl (Leland Owlsley) render by Egg84

Accompanying Podcast: ● Joshua and Jamie Do Daredevil - episode 19

[zap0ch0s]

hey, here some backstory for the Rebel band for the 9: painful experiment AU

Liz: there are facts that I forgot to say about her, her creator was a widowed father that lost his wife in a car accident, his daughter survived, but his wife didn't, so he wanted to make Liz in her memory and marry her, Liz live 3 happy years with that man with his daughter, but that happily ever after ended in the demon massacre, that's the reason Liz is so serious and smokes often, she's traumatized with the loss of her husband and daughter, she promised herself she wouldn't fall in love again, but her feelings beat her and she meet Ernesto in a French restaurant and both fell in love with each other, so they began dating for 4 months, but she's still serious and having sentimental breakdowns, but luckily, Ernesto is there for her and loving her unconditionally no matter what (sorry, I love romance)

Ava: Ava is a little bit crazy, such as Jinx, Ava lived with her creator for 2 years, but he lost her in the demon massacre, she had to live surviving and staying in defense, but she tried to stay in a good humor, weeks later, she met Liz and both became very good friends, despite Liz was very serious and Ava a very energetic person, Ava likes fire weapons and fireworks, she was a very good inventor so Ava with Liz started making fireworks and fire weapons and Ava took advantage of the time to make her own cannon, she's tough and crazy, but with a great heart and she never hesitates on helping others in her crazy way

spoiler: (Ava only has eyes for 6)

Doby: Doby is a stray dog and the whereabouts of his creator is unknown, Doby is a very euphoric dog, he met Liz in a park, the reason Liz took Doby with her is that Doby was starving, so from that day, Doby lives with Liz, Ava and Ernesto, Doby is a relaxed dog but can be very savage when he gets really angry, but he's a cutie

90: he may look like a "normal stitchpunk", but he's not what he seems to be, 90 lived a shitty past, his creator beat him often for being a weirdo, the creator's wife was sick from cancer, she was the only person that loved 90, but weeks later, she passed away, and the hits didn't stop, one day, 90 snapped and killed his creator eating him, he was feeling so good as he tasted his flesh and guts, that's the stuff that turns him on, so we can say that behind a serious face, there's a fucking crazy man that gets horny when he eats humans, believe me...

Ernesto: he grew up with a french father and a mexican mother, he had a normal childhood, when he was a child, his biggest dream was being the best chef in the world, he started learning cooking whn he was 5 years old, after years of practicing and studying hard in gastronomy, he became the person he wanted to be, besides cooking, he knows how to fight, he has a good managing of knifes, so don't mess with him or his fiance (Liz UWU)

Candace: she has a soft talk, such as a soft attitude, she hates conflicts and fights, so she's a pacifist, her creator died while giving her life, so Candace lived alone, after the demon massacre, she met Dyon in a park and they fell in love at the first sight, so they've been dating 5 months until they got married, Candace is very loving and caring, she almost never gets angry, she can get upset, but not in a high level, she's a fucking cube of sugar, but she knows how to defend herself, she likes it or not

Dyon: he's the type of friend that has a coleric temper, Dyon is a very energetic, friendly and talkative person, he's always there to help others and talk about things that he likes, he loves getting in trouble, although he's a good fighter, he usually uses violence instead of dialogue, after the demon massacre, he's been at the defensive and having his precautions if he sees a demon, he can be very protective with Candace, so if you mess with his wife, you mess with Dyon and say goodbye to your life

Terrance: he lived a lonely life before he met the rest of the Band, when he leaved his creator, he spent his life reading in public libraries, reading everything it was there, he survived the demon massacre thanks to that, but he was always alone, until he met Liz, and well, you know, Liz needed a smart person

Perry:: she usually has a bad temper, so she's grumpy, when she gets angry, she can get very violent and beat the shit out of those she hates, yeah, she can be a bit repellent, but surprinsingly, she has a great heart, she cares about those she love *coff coff* 8 *coff coff*, she's very good at fighting, she can get in a point of crying when she gets at her limits of anger, she seems independient, but she needs some one to love

[90363462]

VERY SMART BROTHAS

Well, Damn! Pusha T Responds to Drake With ‘The Story of Adidon.’ Here Are 10 Quick Thoughts

By

Panama Jackson

PublishedMay 29, 2018

Comments (233)

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It took a few days, but Push back. Over Jay-Z’s “The Story of O.J.” instrumental, Pusha T responded to Drake’s “Duppy Freestyle” (itself a response to Pusha T’s “Infrared”) with a savage diss record called “The Story of Adidon.” Bruh, King Push was on his Roy Jones Jr. “Y’all must have forgot!” steez.

Let the surgical summer begin. Here are 10 thoughts about Pusha T’s response record to Drake.

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1. Drake mentioned Pusha T’s fiancee, Virginia Williams. So what does Push do? Well, he goes at Drake’s mama (Sandi), his daddy (Dennis Graham), his alleged child (Adonis) and baby mama (Sophia), his best friend and producer (40), and his inability to grow out an Afro (so mean). I’m sure if Drake had a puppy, he’d have caught some wreck here, too. 

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2. Listen, I have no idea what the cover art is from (it must be something specific, since Drake is in blackface but also wearing a T-shirt that has “Jim Crow” on it), but who cares? What an awesome fucking find. The context doesn’t even matter (assuming it’s some reasonable explanation) because that picture, juxtaposed with the beat for “The Story of O.J.,” is fucking perfect. It’s like whatever basketball gods took out Chris Paul’s hamstring lobbed Pusha T an assist with this picture. It was made for the Summer Jam screen.

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3. The shots about Drake’s alleged child are just ghoulish. I mean, when he says, “Deadbeat motherfucker playing border patrol,” I actually clutched my pearls. I don’t even own pearls. 

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4. But you know what made me touch my chest and say, “Oh my?” When Push clowned Noah “40” Shebib for being sick. Shebib has multiple sclerosis, and to question how much time he has left? My word. I mean ... my word. I don’t even know ... just ... my word. 

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5. I absolutely laughed out loud—loud enough to wake up one of my kids—when Push says at the end, “You talkin’ about you upset [Laughs.] well I want to see what’s it’s like when you get angry. You Show me that!” with the same disgust that Drake exhibited on “Duppy Freestyle.” It was so disrespectful and has the benefit of both clowning Drake and the single he recently dropped, “I’m Upset,” which is basura.

6. Can we talk one more time about that cover art? I mean ... Drake gon’ have to explain that one. Was he auditioning for Savion Glover’s role in Bamboozled? I mean, he’d have been, like, 14, so it would be a long shot, but I’m saying. #QTNA

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7. I have to admit that I’m more than a little surprised that Drake is involved in a legit rap beef/battle with a rapper who is considered by many to be one of the better rappers in the game. I almost feel like Push feels a bit like everybody in the NBA felt when Steph Curry won the MVP unanimously; it’s one thing to win the award—that’s fine—but unanimously? 

All of a sudden, everybody was going at Steph like he needed to earn his stripes after the fact. Drake can get all the money and the accolades, but he really thinks he’s able to hang with Push? On the positive side, we’re getting some of that rap that made everybody believe Push was one of rap’s elites. I personally like “The Story of Adidon” more than anything I’ve heard from him in a while, Daytona included.

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8. Speaking of Steph, if we can get a few weeks out of this beef, then the NBA Finals might feel a little more entertaining than I think most of us think they might be. Shit, if you see LeBron run off the court at some point with urgency, it just might mean a new record dropped. I’m here for this.

9. On Twitter, Push pointed out that the (cover art) picture is neither manipulated nor edited, simply stating: “these are his truths.” I diedlaughing at that. I don’t even know why it’s so funny, but it made me warm and fuzzy on the inside. I’m here for all of the possible shade. 

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1o. Drake may surprise me, but I’m damn near ready to declare Pusha T the winner of round 2 here even before Drake drops a response. And Drake better come correct because, well, Pusha T ain’t Meek, and everybody has learned from that mistake. 

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[dominantslasherking]

Joe Goldberg with Dominant Male S/o

My Stories are meant for the much more mature audience, 18+

Backstory: You meet Joe at a bookstore, god Joe would do anything for you, you weren't like Beck or Candace, you were so much better, you weren't his normal type, but he can settle for this, for you.

Oh, Hello you, were you sulking? Why were you sulking, and that hoodie, are you trying to hide? From me, I hope not, maybe it's from the people that typically stare at you. What are you hiding? I could tell you have broad shoulders..hmm work out once in a while?

Until today I would have said I was a straight man, but I could always make exceptions for you. The horror section? What will you get? five books, you must be a reader, here you are, heading straight towards me, only if you could lift your gaze slightly up so I can see your face.

"Hello, is that all, or maybe I could help you with something," I spoke first, wanting to finally hear your voice-

"Hi, No I'm fine thank you," God, your voice was so deep and husky. Finally, I can see your heavenly face, no dark circles like I predicted you would have, wow nice jawline, you could be a model huh? How lucky I am to meet you.

"Joe?" My name coming out of your mouth---is...wow. I had to resist letting out a groan. "Ah, Sorry, let me see here, American Psycho, classic slasher book huh?" You let out a chuckle, just for me, I guess I am really having a fantastic day.

"Yeah, I love my slasher books and films, I mean cmon look I also got Silence of the lambs.'" You made small talk just for me, I wouldn't have expected you to be such a conversation starter, your eyes gleam as you spoke about the books. Are you flirting with me? I wouldn't mind.

"Aha, Maybe we could watch them some time, the movies..." Shit, why did I say that, you might think I'm a creep, "Just joking," I let out an awkward laugh trying to play it off, me and my stupid mouth!---

"I think I would love that..Joe, you seem pretty cool, and I like how you were upfront." You-Oh-You, I knew it, you also are interested, you like- no love me as much as I love you.

I watched as you pull out your Library card, so glad I moved here. "So, you're new to the job I suppose?" You spoke handing me the card as our hands touched, Your hands were big, much bigger than mine.

"Yes, I moved here recently, I love reading, a bit of a classic guy myself," I'm so glad I moved here, so very glad, after all, I got to meet you.

"(Name)," I read off the name on your card with a smile on my face, "Yup, that's me." You spoke to me calling out your name, I hope I would be calling out your name, but in a much different scenario.

I put your books in a bag, as I handed them to you, as well as your library card, "Uhm, your number?" You spoke, I almost forgot about the date we planned, silly me.

I quickly grab a sticky note, and a pen, jotting down my number, and handed it to you.

"Would, eight work?" You were just so persistent, it just sent shivers down my spine as I watched you eye me down, you were confident and I loved it.

I look at the clock, it's currently five, I get off at six meaning I would have time to...how do I put this, do some research on you, I mean I want our first date to go well.

<<>><>><>>><<<>>><<<>>>><<<>>><<<>>>><>>><<>>><<>>>><<>>><>>>>

It seems you have Instagram, Amazing, it seems you indeed do model part time, go to the gym, eat healthy, love horror movies...however seemed you had a small friend group...that might be a probem I'll have to deal with that later.

Holy-Moly- Shirtless pictures, nice V-line, very sexy. Seems you like roses I'll remember that.

Well seems I need to get ready for our date, I defiantly wouldn't want to miss that,

after all, it's you.

[nextdoorharry]

bring back manly men.

-

it was roughly about 5:30 a.m when harry’s alarm went blaring. it’s been like this for the past month, as he’s supposed to be on set every morning by 7. you’re cuddled up in his arm slowly murmuring a “turn it off love,” and sponging soft kissies on his collarbone.

and that’s how it’s been for almost about the past two months, as you and harry are staying in his la home as he films, while you get to work from home. it’s one of the positives out of the pandemic, as he’s typically gone for the better part of the year while you’re usually in london working and with your family. it’s nice to be with him along the big opportunities he’s working on.

you hear him softly giggle as your kissies start to tickle him. you feel him reach over to turn off the alarm and grab his phone, sitting up.

your head moves to the pillow and you start tracing god knows what on his tummy with your finger. he fiddles with your hair with one hand as his other is occupied with his phone typing away. you hum in content.

“have to post a picture from the variety shoot right now, help me choose?” harry sweetly asks, looking down towards you handing you his phone which has an email out from jeff with pictures from the shoot.

“‘course” you nod sitting up taking his phone while you rest your head against his shoulder.

you swipe through the pictures, giggling at the ones where he’s biting into a fruit, and having a choked up sigh as your swipe through the ones where he’s wearing a pink silk blouse.

something about harry wearing silk always gets you flustered. hot and bothered.

but you’ll save that for tonight you suppose.

you finally choose a picture, it’s of course the silly one of him intimidatingly eating a banana with a smug look looking over to the side.

“this one” you whisper showing the one you chose giving his hand a squeeze.

“had a feeling you’d pick that one” harry smiles, taking his phone gently squeezing your hand back before opening up his instagram app.

“mhm you know me best” you say kissing his cheek.

“that i do,” harry hums.

“what’re ya gonna caption it,” you ask, knowing harry isn’t much as a social media person.

“variety magazine 2020?” he questions.

“no harry that’s bland.” you giggle.

“thank you @/variety?”

“are you old? give me this.” you snatch his phone out his hand thinking of potential cheeky, or witty captions he can use.

“oi, not really nice love. hurry up though, gotta get washed up and eat before i head off soon” he says, moving a little down so he can drop his head to your neck, breathing in your scent while returning the favor of soft morning kisses.

“got it” you happily spoke. he lifts his head from your neck, grabbing his phone looking at what caption you had set.

“bring back manly men.” he whispers, smirking at your subtle dig that you had set coming from him, which would be towards candace owens. the one who had caused the media go into a field day as she tweeted the same words as the caption because she wasn’t too happy about harry’s outfit choice for the vogue shoot.

“i hope this won’t be a little too mean coming from you, with treat people with kindness and all that. you can change it. i just thought it was funny as a subtle clap back and such.” you said giggling softly.

“no, i love it. s’funny. my little sassy baby. love you, thank you.” he clicks post and shuts off his phone giving you a kiss. “m’gonna get ready now, oatmeal for breakfast please?”

“f’course” you hum, stomach growling a bit. walking towards the bathroom to wash up before you go down and make breakfast for the two of you.

...

as harry grabs his bag and keys ready to leave, you check your phone going on harry’s instagram post, looking at the comments.

“oh god” you giggle, walking towards him ready to kiss him goodbye for the day.

“what is it?” he asks tying his shoes.

“miss candance owens takes your caption as you agreeing with what she said”

“oh christ.” he cackles getting up looking at your phone as you show him the comments she has made.

“well at least you said something about it, nothing mean or serious, just sarcasm,” you state giggling and shutting of your phone putting it in your pocket, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“that was all you my love. thank you though, i know it wasn’t much but i was contemplating whether or not to say something ever since that happened. this was the right trick.” he says putting his bag down for a second, cupping your cheeks and sponging kissies to your nose and lips.

“don’t thank me. as long as your proud of yourself, and never discouraged with comments like that and sticking up for yourself while being kind at the same time is it for me. you’re amazing, and i’m proud as always. love you, h” you kiss him back.

“love you more. i gotta head out now.” he says kissing you once more, grabbing his bag.

right before he closed the door, you stop him in his tracks.

“oh and harry” he looks over nodding up grabbing the doorknob.

“let’s put some silk to use tonight” you smirk.

“christ m’in trouble with you babe.” he winks and closes the door while you softly giggle, heading up to get ready for the day.

—

ahhh i haven’t written a blurb in FOREVER!! i had this idea in mind all day ever since i saw the post and just thought i’d write it out to post. i forgot that i love writing lil blurbs like this, idk why i stopped. lmk if you want more, and send requests! 🤍

[russian-romanova]

the one that got away

title: the one that got away

pairing: joe goldberg

warnings: adult language, spoilers for season two of ‘you’, very brief mentions of violence 

notes:  joe’s pov. i haven’t gotten anything out there in a while, so here’s this. 

summary: it’s been years since you ran out on your high school boyfriend joe goldberg. now that he’s seen you again, maybe it’s time to find out if your instincts were right. 

+      +      +

There was a part of me that had forgotten about you. I would go months without thinking about you, but then the strangest things would conjure up an image of you or your name would ring in my ears for a moment or two before passing out again. So don’t make the mistake of thinking I forgot about you, Y/N. I never forgot. Not really. 

We dated in high school, which doesn’t mean much at face value. High School relationships are the ones that are the most fragile when boys can’t control their own body parts and girls don’t seem to know the word ‘boundary’. The teen couples that come into Mooney’s are the worst relationships, where they hold hands and kiss every time they turn a corner. It takes all I have not to turn them away.

But we were… different. We were good, and we took it slow. I was quiet and you were sweet, and God, I don’t think I could ever recreate that high I would get when I walked into school and would see you waiting at my locker, reading some book I had given you or eating some breakfast dessert. We didn’t rush anything, we were slow and steady friends more than anything, at least before we kissed. And when we did kiss, it wasn’t bumbling or awkward like teenage kisses should be. It was perfect, Y/N. Like it was meant to be.  

You know why I’m bringing this up. I saw you at some supermarket the other day, in LA. It wasn’t Anavrin or any of those frighteningly strict healthy eating markets. It was just some supermarket I went to in search of some food I had been thinking about, and I saw you in the cereal aisle. You didn’t see me, Y/N, although I wasn’t sure if you would have even recognized me. You had a box of ‘Cinnamon Toast Crunch’ in one hand and a box of whatever the generic brand was in the other. I watched you for a moment, turn the first box over, then the second, before sighing and adding the generic one to your cart. I turned my body so you couldn’t see my face as I waited, only turning once I was sure you had left the aisle the opposite way of me. 

Trust me, Y/N, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. I had to double-take to even think it was you, and then I ended up staring at you for a full five seconds before I remembered where I even was. A supermarket. In LA. 

Really, the strangest part was that I had been in LA for around a month and hadn’t somehow caught wind of you. Sure, LA’s a big city, perfect for disappearing -- I should know -- but I have a sixth sense for these sorts of things. It helps that I’ve been trying to stay away from you, really, I stopped searching your name on the internet long ago and I’ve been trying to push you out of my mind. 

Still --  I see in you in all of their eyes. Candace. Beck. Love. 

Then you pushed your cart away from me and left behind the corner. I trailed behind you for a while, because how are you supposed to see your high school sweetheart and just forget about it? You picked out black beans and condiments, grabbed crackers and milk. Then you were gone. 

But I knew you were in LA, and that got me through a while. I was distracted at work, distracted with Love. Even Ellie knew something was off, and of course, I couldn’t tell any of them about you, Y/N. I made up some lie about work or the news, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wondered if you shopped every Tuesday afternoon if I would have a chance of seeing you again if I waited there next week. If you saw me first, would you interact? Would you know what I was doing and confront me or would you leave and hope that I didn’t see you? Would you see me at all?

No, I knew that I had to find you before then, preferably someplace where I wouldn’t look like some random creep approaching a pretty girl. I had to do my research. 

I didn’t know whether to be impressed or disappointed when I discovered both an Instagram and a Facebook account that were both private. You were aware of security, at least a little. You had a public twitter account, but nothing you posted on there really pertained to you on a personal level, mostly retweets about characters or politics. 

Roughly three weeks ago, you had retweeted some comedic tweet about the benefits of being single. This was a good sign, Y/N. My expectations were set low, but the more I learned about you, the higher they became. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about our high school years, and how happy we both were. We could be like that again. 

I was about to give up on the social media scour when I saw an Instagram account linked to your twitter account, completely different from the one I had already stumbled upon. This one was a much vaguer account, with some photos you must have taken, mostly of other people or of aesthetically pleasing nature views or buildings. The photographs that caught my eye the most -- and I’m sure you understand why, Y/N -- were the ones of Farmington Park and the one of a house front. The house numbers were blurred out, but it wasn’t that hard to trace around on Google Earth. I extended the view and followed the roads surrounding Farmington Park, making the assumption that you were near to it judging by the amount of photots you had posted of it, until I found the house that seemed the most familiar, the one that matched up perectly with the photograph. Bingo.

You should be more careful, Y/N. 

✾ ✾ ✾

And so I wait. I see you again, but no longer by accident. I don my jacket and cap, and I wait at the bench near your house -- just a man reading a book, nothing anyone will pay too much attention to. I see you leave your house, which I’m relieved to see you walk out of. I’ve been wrong in the past, and it’s the worst possible feeling I could imagine. But you looked right at me, Y/N. The second day, you walked out of your bright red door and made direct eye contact with me. I have sunglasses on, so I don’t know if you can tell I’m looking back, but you stare at me for a few seconds, and then you move on. I worried you had maybe seen me, but the next day I returned and you didn’t think much of it. 

Tuesdays and Thursdays is when you went to the park. As the sunsets, to get those stereotypical sunset photos, I presume, and you stay until late on Tuesday nights because you have Wednesdays off. It’s abandoned by the time it’s nine pm, the perk of small parks in big cities. So I waited until I was ready, until I thought you would be ready, and then I decided it was time to meet you. 

8:42 on a Tuesday night, and I’ve never been more terrified before. I sit in the grass and watch you as the people slowly go home, watching you on your phone and messing with your camera. I notice for the first time, the green bracelet on your arm, which I recognize instantly, because I gave you that bracelet, Y/N. In high school, for your birthday. I gave it to you years ago, and you still wear it. 

That almost gives me hope.

I had a plan. Once it was empty enough, I took off my hat and sunglasses, and I just sat there. You needed to come to me, to feel comfortable enough to do so. It was going to be an accident that I was here, nothing creepy. Nothing to feed your worries or stresses. I wasn’t a worry, I was a comfort that was reappearing after years and years. 

When you saw me, your froze. You just stood there, unmoving and possibly unbreathing, frozen in a moment either now or in the past, mind racing and heart too fast. I waited for you, patiently. It was hard to not run up to you, to talk to you unprompted. But I had waited this long, I could wait a few minutes more.

Finally, you spoke. “What are you doing here?” 

I looked up, feigning surprise. “Oh my God, Y/N,” I closed my book and stood up, smiling as if I had no idea you still existed. “What are you doing in LA?”

“Cut the bullshit. I saw you the other day. At least, I thought I saw someone that looked just like you, and now I’m pretty fucking sure that was you, Joe. This can’t be happening. This isn’t-” You trailed off, mumbling to yourself. Your were suspitious, but I could work with suspicious. 

“You saw me? Seriously? Where was it?” I laugh as if I’m more confused than you are, still confused and surprised. Keep it up, Joe. Patience. “Why didn’t you-”

“Stop it. You were-” You stopped talking, your eyes widening a little at the absurdity of the situation. “You looked at me, Joe. I know you’re lying, so cut the bullshit. Be honest.”

I think it over for a minute. “I didn’t know if it was actually you or not.” I say, a little bit quieter. I feel like a kid again, and we haven’t even been talking for a minute. 

“Honest,” You repeated. “I’m not new to your games, Joe. Where did you see me first?”

“The bus stop,” I say, maintaining eye contact. You give me your ‘bullshit’ look, and I realize nothing has changed. I almost smile before I remember what’s happening, that I need to work fast and convince you. I can’t lose you again, not now that I’ve found you. “The bus stop,” I reaffirm, before adding. “Nice bracelet.” 

And I’ve changed the subject. 

“I need to go home,” You say, sounding tired and frantic. 

I take a step forward. “Let me walk you,”

“No, Joe.” You say loudly at first, and then repeat it a little softer. 

“Please, Y/N,” I say in a tone that we both know is close to a beg. You look at me with those big fucking eyes and I hope I’m making the same expression back. The puppy dog eyes are something we’ve both mastered. 

“Joe, I don’t love you anymore.” You say suddenly, and you throw your hands out to either side as if that’s it. As if that’s enough to satisfy me and it answers all my questions. 

“Then why are you still wearing the bracelet?” I’m begging you now, pleading with you and I hate my own tone of voice. 

You glance down at it as if you’ve forgotten about it. There’s a pause as you think for a moment, searching for words or for a lie. I’m frozen when I stand. “It’s not because I love you. It’s to remember.” You look up at me again, and your eyes aren’t just big anymore, they’re teary now. A part of me still wants to run to you, to tell you that it’s okay, but I know I can’t. “You killed me, Joe. Or you might as well have. I’m mourning her. I can’t forget her.”

Any act is long gone. We both know what you’re talking about, about all the conversations we had where you had tried to break up with me and I convinced you, about all the looks your had given me when I did something that would send off a red flag. “I didn’t, Y/N. I wouldn’t have. I was so careful with you.” 

You look at me in a way I’ve never seen before. “I hid. I shouldn’t have had to hide. I changed so much about me, about who I was because I was scared you would find me somehow, I don’t know.” You run a distressed hand through your hair.

“Why? Why were you so scared of me, Y/N? I was just some kid in love. I loved you so much. I love you so much.” I take a step towards you.

You match it with one back, putting up a distressed hand. “Stop, Joe. Stop. I’m not doing this, okay? All of these things about you pointed to terror for me and I went with my gut because you hear all of these horror stories about girls and their boyfriends and it was better safe than sorry and-“ You sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. You’re crying and I didn’t even realize it. “And I am sorry, Joe. I really am, but we both know that’s what I needed to do.” And you’re right, Y/N, and it would be a lie to deny it. I didn’t have to do anything to you and you knew who I was. No one has ever understood as well as you. 

I am hurt as you look at me, somehow pained yet strong. “I’m sorry,” Is all I can manage out, and you don’t respond. 

“I need to go home,” You say finally. “You do too, Joe. This is out there now, and we can move on. Okay? Don’t try to find me again.”

“But I can’t forget about you.” I don’t know if I’m making excuses or being honest anymore. For a split second, I think about lunging at you, grabbing you or striking you or something -- but then I remember that this isn’t just anyone. This is you. Candace, Beck, Love, they’re all modelled after you. I think that’s all I’m working for, is you again. Yet I respect you too much to treat you like them, and I love you too much to really let you go. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. 

“Then don’t,” You look at me with calm eyes. “Then don’t forget about me. It’s better to remember, but to keep it somewhere just out of reach. It’s not like I could forget you, Joe. You were a part of my life,” You admit. “No matter how bad, you can’t forget something like that.” 

And that’s all you need to say. No goodbye, no farewell greeting. You turn and walk away.

And I let you, Y/N. 

For the first time in my life, I watch someone walk away from me, and that’s it. Out of everyone, I hate that it’s you leaving yet I’m happy that we ended it like this. I watch your wrist swing slightly as you walk, the stringy ends of the bracelet swinging along with it. I think of what you said, about remembering, and I know there’s some truth there. I’ve felt it before, the need to remember Candace and Beck long after I had thought they were gone. For them -- and for me.

But as you turned the corner for the final time, something in me pulls at my senses, telling me what I already know is true.  Your words ring in my mind one final time, but I know you’re wrong this once. 

Sometimes, Y/N, it’s better not to remember, but to forget.