#I think he even loves those people BECAUSE of those things actually

[shitpostingkats]

Zack Fair has a really fascinating relationship with killing where a lot of the rest of the cast doesn't. He fights people as well as monsters and gradually stops being able to differentiate the two. He helps clear out beasties and ghoulies but he also intros the game with a massive attack on a foreign nation just to shore up corporate interests and for a good chunk of the game places those two activities in the same spot in his mind. One of his side projects at work is quashing the last remnants of rebellion in said occupied country and rooting out the spies in their resistance, at which point he hands them over to his bosses to be interrogated and presumably tortured. But if he comes face to face with the same people in a combat scenario, he won't kill them, because he views their desire to see themselves free as an honorable trait. Then he turns around and attacks hordes of people who defected Shinra. He uses the blunt side of his sword, not to spare lives, but because he doesn't want to damage the sharp edge.

Wutai forces and Genesis clones have a different categorization to him, something he can mentally label as "other". But after Nibelhiem, your primary enemy type becomes other Shinra soldiers. Just after Zack has had his realizations that the monsters he was wiping out share a haunting amount of basic building blocks with his coworkers. And with himself.

Actually, let's pause. Zack is the only character we see have any sort of acceptance of being Jenova-ed. Every other character is unwilling and usually not even a conscious being yet, but Zack A) knows what is being done to him, and B) openly states he wants those monstrous traits for himself. "Those wings / I want them too." Up to this point, every other character has equated being Jenova-ed to being baser, to being subhuman, but Zack at the very beginning tried to convince Angeal that it meant freedom. Power to do what you want.

Zack Fair willingly and with open arms embraced being made less than human because he thought it would give him the strength to break out of captivity.

So he busts out, and the first thing he's greeted with it a horde of enemies that he knows are human, has worked and talked with, and are in fact the same shape and type of person as Cloud. Just a couple cutscenes ago, these were his coworkers.

The easiest way to get through them is to set them on fire and blow up the munitions they're carrying on their person.

(It's such a beautiful demystifying of the elemental system. I love it.)

Oh also, you're on a time limit, so you gotta kill all these guys fast, because they're trying to go for the weak spot, Cloud, who can't fight and is getting dragged away.

After that, the next thing Zack does is find a gun and start taking long ranged killshots.

There's a tangible feeling of a lesson being learned.

Zack is (I think?) the only SOLDIER we ever see use a gun. It's worth noting that even the most fallen of SOLDIERs stick to their flashy blades and their weird swordfights. Other characters even comment how bizarre it is, but ffvii also runs on that fantasy world logic where if you just Get Good enough, swords are just as good as guns if not better. Guns are the lower, more primitive weapon, fit for grunts and hitmen but not elite fighters.

(I could also go into detail on how some of the SOLDIERS weapon are sold as bespoke merch in world, and basically another tool in the toolbox of how to sell these flesh and blood men as mythologized products. But we don't have time to unpack all of that.)

For Zack, we know that his sword is even a symbol of honorable combat and a legacy of trying to do the right thing. Zack picking up a gun is basically debasing himself to being just another man in the field. And it's a sniper rifle. The weapon guaranteed to get him as little contact with his opponent as possible and does not even give them a chance to fight back. But it's whatever gets the job done.

Zack starts the game as someone who kills people, but it's hand-waved aside the same way it is for most everyone else, only for him to bite that awareness apple like five minutes before it becomes absolutely vital he survive at all costs. Zack becomes aware that he's on a slippery slope and due to circumstances has to start sprinting. Over the course of the game, we watch as Zack Fair goes from being someone who kills people to a killer.

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Hello, requesting "sleeping in" thank you 🙏

Hello. I’m here, months later. Here’s something.

Buck sleeps in. Eddie’s not sure if that’s a surprise or not. He's long had the somewhat infuriating habit of not plugging his phone in overnight on his days off — theoretically to discourage scrolling on it all night and wasting the battery, but half the time it results in him sheepishly charging it up from fully dead on a page about deep sea ethernet cables or something around noon the next day. So, yeah, his phone is an expensive brick on the nightstand, alarm not even an option, and it's not like they haven't had an extremely eventful last couple of days, almost 24 hours of which Buck had spent in a car headed one way or another. Eddie understands the exhaustion. But, well- he's awake. He kind of feels like his limbs are vibrating with the feeling of- relief, or terror, or joy, or- the feeling of being home. Home, here. Los Angeles, South Bedford, the home he — and Chris — had spent years building, a home of course neither of them could leave behind for long. He lays here, in his own bed, Buck snoring next to him and Chris down the hall, and he wonders why he ever thought he’d belong anywhere else.

Buck shuffles a little and Eddie thinks for a moment maybe- but he just snorts a little and keeps dreaming. Eddie tries to tamp down on the kind of sleepover giddiness bubbling up in his chest — wake up wake up wake up — and takes the opportunity to watch his best friend. His- whatever. Whatever they are now that Eddie knows what kissing him is like, quickly and quietly in his parent’s backyard, now that Eddie has stumbled his way through a question — “Why are you- why did you- all of this- do you- do you-“ — and Buck had frowned a little, not in an unhappy way but in his serious way, and had heard the real thing Eddie had wanted to know, and said “Eddie- of course I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Eddie whispers now, because he hadn’t the other night. He thinks Buck knows, though. He hopes he does. He’ll figure out how to say it to him when he’s awake, he’ll make sure he can never forget it.

His best friend. Whatever else they are or will be, Eddie thinks this first thing will always be true. They’ll always know each other and like each other and want to hang out. With the dubious wisdom of time and age Eddie can admit the few times they’ve fought have mostly been because something had been frustrating one of those wants. Someone should make fun of him for this, probably. Maybe Chris will, Eddie thinks, smiling at the idea that they’re in a place where they can harmlessly tease each other again. “You can’t see Buck for like three days and you go crazy,” he’ll laugh. “I thought I was supposed to be the dramatic teenager here.”

He idly wonders if he really can somehow figure out how to never go more than three days without seeing Buck ever again, and then stifles his own laughter — you’re right, imaginary Chris — because the man is still sleeping — still! — and despite his internal complaining he doesn’t actually want to disturb the guy. He looks so peaceful, passed out hard and melted into his pillow. His pillow, in Eddie’s bed. In Buck’s bed? Who is legally attached to what leases where is a little up in the air at the moment. Maybe it could be their bed. Maybe it's not too soon to say Don’t look for someplace else to live. Just stay here with me, with us. Maybe he just doesn’t care if other people think he’s moving too fast. He doesn’t even think he is, really. The will was years ago. He’s thought more about this relationship, worked harder on it and for longer, than any other in his life. Seven years is long enough to know.

Stay with me, he thinks at Buck, looking at his curls that are flattened in some places and sticking out weird in others. Tonight and every other night we get. He thinks Buck will say yes. He’s pretty certain Buck will say yes. He moved in so Eddie could leave, he’s pretty certain Buck will stay for him, too.

“Do you have a secret kid somewhere I can do something financially irresponsible for to prove my devotion to you?” Eddie asks in a whisper. Buck snorts again, but doesn’t otherwise stir. “Okay. Well, I’ll figure something else out.”

Buck’s eyelashes are pale against his cheek. His skin is rougher than when they first met, older, aging. His birthmark isn't visible, pressed into the pillow, because Buck is turned towards Eddie in his sleep. He’s all stubbly — it had itched against his face, Eddie remembers — and Eddie will kind of miss it when he has to shave before work tomorrow. He can grow it back, though, and Eddie will be around to see it in this new life where they never spend more than three days apart. Two days, maybe. 48 hours in a row and they have to say sorry, gotta go, my-

Husband? My husband is waiting for me? Bobby will probably have a harder time arguing for them to stay on the same shift if they get married, and that will make the whole never-apart-for-long thing harder. So, not yet. Not yet. But Eddie watches Buck’s chest rise and fall and thinks: someday.

He gets so caught up in that thought, the two of them in suits and nice food and pretty lights and dancing and making promises, that he doesn’t register for a moment the blue eyes blinking back at him.

“Oh,” he says, sounding stupidly surprised.

“Hi,” Buck says, the word tripping out on a little huff of laughter. Eddie wants to- to taste it. He stays where he is.

“Good morning.”

Buck smiles, so big it seems to take him a moment to catch his breath. “Morning.” He yawns, stretching out like a cat for all his puppy-like tendencies. “Time is it?”

Eddie doesn’t actually know, having better things to look at than an alarm clock or phone screen, so he rolls slightly to check. “9:15.” When he rolls back Buck is right there, slinging an arm over Eddie all casual like they’ve done this a million times instead of never before, but Eddie thinks he’s right, it doesn’t feel new at all. He grabs a handful of Buck’s shirt and just holds on, feeling his body heat.

“Slept in,” Buck says, and he doesn't seem surprised or not surprised about it either. He leans forward and kisses Eddie’s cheek, quick, quiet. They have time for- for something else, now. Something longer. There’s no rush. But first, Eddie has to make sure, he has to make it clear, he has to ask:

“Will you sleep in tomorrow? Here? And- and every other day, if you want. Forever, Buck, if you want.”

Buck smiles, again so wide it takes a moment for him to speak. “We still gotta get up on work days, Eddie.”

Eddie laughs. It makes his body lean forward under Buck’s arm, closer to him. Their knees bump together. “Well- okay. I can compromise on that. I’m very reasonable. Every other day.”

“Every other day,” Buck agrees, easily, and leans in again for something else, something longer.

[inafieldofstarflowers]

forever thinking about the scene where nicky talks to neil about how he can’t let exy be the only thing giving his life meaning because it will never love him back & how harshly it contrasts with Neil’s way of thinking about exy as outlined in the literal first chapter of tfc, because i think it’s an underrated moment in neil’s development—it’s after this conversation that Neil starts thinking about how he’s started sharing his secrets, specifically with andrew (and immediately backpedals from those thoughts when they get too close to him actually examining that trust in andrew with a promise to never listen to nicky again).

there’s so much in this conversation to unpack, but one of the most important parts (to me) is the paragraph where neil is watching as nicky talks about erik, and describes it as:

Nicky's smile was slow and pleased as he thought about his long-distance boyfriend. It was a more reserved expression than Neil usually saw on his face. It made Neil wonder if Nicky was naturally loud or if he exaggerated his outgoing nature to balance his unfriendly cousins.

i personally love this moment for the insight into nicky’s character—it’s one of a handful of times people wonder how sincere nicky’s performance of effusive joy is—but i also think it’s a part of why neil can’t just brush off nicky’s words: he recognizes nicky dropping a mask, even just a bit, as he talks about erik, and i think he realizes that he’s been dropping his own when it comes to andrew.

[naamahdarling]

I think there's this idea that nonfiction is boring, because at least in the United States our exposure to nonfiction in school is almost exclusively textbooks, which are horrifically boring.

But nonfiction isn't boring at all! There are riveting popular nonfiction books about literally any subject that interests you, and those books come in just about any length you could want. Even better, consulting popular nonfiction book lists from the last few years is a really good way to find books that will actually be in your library system. If you're like me, you live in a place where it is very apparent that libraries are for lending books, and are not archives.

I recommend any of these:

The Butchering Art: Joseph Lister's Quest to Transform the Grisly World of Victorian Medicine by Lindsey Fitzharris -- EXTRAORDINARY, obvs a bit grisly. Actually, many of my recommendations have their moments, so be aware of that. Alternates between a bio of Lister and discussion of Victorian medicine. I thought the biography part would be boring, but it turns out Lister was a really cool dude. Like, he sounds like he was a lovely person. Something it really drove home for me was how utterly and unusually filthy Victorian cities were. It's no wonder we falsely think people in prior eras were super gross and didn't bathe or clean things. A lot of our attitudes towards history were formed during an era when that was true. We still tend to very much believe that sanitation and cleanliness has risen steadily, in an inevitable upward trend, because that's kind of how we see most history. It isn't true at all. The book doesn't go into this, this is just me airing a pet peeve.

The Facemaker: A Visionary Surgeon's Battle to Mend the Disfigured Soldiers of World War I by Lindsey Fitzharris. About Dr. Harold Gillies, who pioneered reconstructive surgery techniques on WWI survivors. Very good. The audiobook is narrated beautifully by Daniel Gillies, who is Dr. Gillies's great great grand nephew. I haven't read very much about WWI, and this book convinced me that I need to, and also that it will be very difficult going. I was aware that it was bad. I didn't appreciate just how bad.

Isaac's Storm: A Man, a Time, and the Deadliest Hurricane in History by Erik Larson. WOW this was good. About the guy who established the National Weather Service, Isaac Cline, an interesting dude but also just some guy, about the HORRIFYING Galveston Hurricane of 1900, about weather science. If you live in hurricane or tornado country, this might really interest you. It sounds boring but it wasn't. It was so cool! The passage describing how hurricanes develop was so beautiful. The passages describing what the hurricane was like as it was happening were riveting and frightening. The passages about the aftermath had a lot of impact.

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America is about both serial killer H. H. Holmes and the Chicago World's Fair of 1893. I am given to understand that the Holmes parts are sensationalized and not as accurate as they ought to be, but it's still really interesting, and all the stuff about the Fair, how it came about, the crazy challenges, the architects, and just how much of it barely happened at all, wound up being the most interesting part.

The Worst Hard Time: The Untold Story of Those Who Survived the Great American Dust Bowl by Timothy Egan. I genuinely did not expect to be glued to this but it was a riveting look at an oft-ignored time. The Dust Bowl was a manmade ecological disaster, preventable, and its effects were profound. But this is also about people, living through it. My grandparents were children then, and I live in dust bowl country, so this was especially interesting.

From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death by Caitlin Doughty. Her books are so good. This one is about unusual death traditions around the world, and what they can teach us about humans, grief, love, and notions of the afterlife. Not at all religious in nature, not voyeuristic, not judgmental, written with sensitivity.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty. Again, good. Fascinating look at the death professions from inside. This is her job, so it's really closely observed. Hugely helpful in demystifying these jobs and what really happens.

find local theater near you. go to local theater near you. read plays. read non-fiction books. read fiction books written over one hundred years ago. go to the movie theater. watch movies with subtitles. watch slow movies. watch challenging movies. watch movies made for less than five million dollars. watch a documentary. watch television shows that have no fandoms. watch classic television shows. watch television shows starring actors that have no social media. read criticism of your favorite media frequently. think critically about your favorite media often. consume media made for adults.

[avesgrave]

It's nice to see some positivity regarding Caldarus's human form. Personally, for me, I would have been happy with almost anything so long as it was consistent with the design of the statue. But I think a lot of people are being WAY too harsh on his human form.

First off: he's not even a twink. He still has a bit of muscle when we see his titty out sprite. Actual twinks are far more slender. Hemlock was 100% a twink in his youth and he kept that slenderness even as he got older.

Second off: he's still not fully young looking. If you actually look at his eyes, he has eyebags that most of the older characters get. He might look younger than we anticipated, but he still looks older than most of the romance options.

And finally: He just spent the last several hundred or so years trapped as a stone statue, and says as he's rescuing you that he has very little power left. He's essentially been bed ridden the last several centuries. He has the chance to regain and grow muscle once he's rested up at his temple.

Speaking from personal experience, I think Caldarus gaining his human form and how he lives life now could easily read as an allegory for disability; the kind that leaves one bedridden, weakened, and requiring long rest in order to regain strength. It just depends on how the rest of his events play out.

Would I have loved a buff dragon or more monstrous dragon? Sure. But once I saw the character designs for the main romances prior to him, I tempered my expectations. And I think the rest of the fandom should do the same. It's fine to be disappointed, but some of them need to chill.

Hi! Thank you for this message.

First of all I'd like to say I'm always happy to try and insert positivity into things like this where I can. I think people jump to extremely aggressive reactions online way too often.

Secondly, I love your takes on this! I fully agree about him not being a twink. He's much more in the twunk area if we have to use those terms (which I don't even like the way those specific terms box in character designs. Not aimed at your ask, I know it's the terminology other people use/are using) But I haven't seen the data mined art so I can't fully speak on that and I'm not really interested in using those classifications going forward personally. I just find them too limiting of descriptions that due to overuse sort off feel like people brushing off designs as "just another basic twink" kinda thing.

But even more so I think it would be so cool to have an allegory to disabilities within the game, especially shown through such a powerful character as Caldarus. Obviously we don't know how the rest of his events and the story will play out, but it would be great if it stuck with the theming. (I had really hoped in the beginning there would be more disability rep because I know those with disabilities get even less representation than plus sized folks)

Overall, I do hope people can step back and relax about it a little when the initial emotions of it aren't so red hot.

[ethereal-moonglitter]

Blue lock men and their soulmate aus

This piece is for the Soulmate au writing collab! All writers are free to join <3 Just check out this post. (here)

Characters included: Sae Itoshi, Rin Itsohi, and Isagi Yoichi (I'll add more characters if people like it)

Through every lifetime, it is you I seek, a whispered longing my soul speaks.

Sae Itoshi - Colors upon first touch

��︎ Pre-spain! Sae was excited to see who his soulmate was. He always wanted to see colors. He wondered if he would be better at football if he does.

❥︎ He absolutely adores the concept of someone waiting for him. Someone who will complete him.

❥︎ After this trip to Spain though? Things changed. He thinks the whole thing is stupid. Why bother go to lengths to find someone anyway?

❥︎ His only goal is to be the best in football. Soulmates are just distractions. He didn't need that at all!

❥︎ His would was colorless, as it had always been, why would he desire to see color when he can see just fine?

❥︎ Sometimes he finds himself wondering if he is able to find his. Especially since Rin found his first. (that damn brat)

❥︎ Sae was curious, yes. But he never tried looking or genuinely care about it because he has football.

❥︎ He didn't want to meet his soulmate... Or so he thought.

Right after the U-20 Japan vs. Blue Lock match, Sae Itoshi couldn't deny the surprise twisting in his chest. Losing to a bunch of rookies? Unbelievable. He scoffed, shaking his head as he stepped out of the locker room. If those rookies had managed to get past him, then he needed to train harder. That was all there was to it.

Lost in thought, he barely noticed when he collided with someone. But then—everything shifted. His dull, monochrome world flickered—no, exploded—into color. He gasped softly at the sudden appearance of color. The dull world he lived in suddenly appeared alive, it felt worth living for.

His gaze snapped around, sharp and searching. Who was it? Who the hell just bumped into him? He had to find them. Now. Because whether he liked it or not, he knew exactly what had just happened.

He’d found his soulmate.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of you—just as lost, scanning the crowd. His pulse slowed, the noise around him fading into nothing. For a moment, it was just the two of you, locked in place like the universe had forced a pause.

His lips curled into the faintest smirk.

"Tch. Found you… you brat."

Rin Itoshi - Dream walking

❥︎ He really didn't understand the importance of soulmates, even when he was younger.

❥︎ He saw how his brother used to fantasize about finding his soulmate. And at first, he too wanted to meet them. But as he grew older, he also found it to be a distraction.

❥︎ He thought he didn't have one at first. Cause he can see color, unlike his brother.

❥︎ It was until he turned 15 did it start happening. He fell asleep once day then he saw you. Well... somewhat of you.

❥︎ He can see you! But once he wakes up, he forgets what you look like. And people say that was normal. That you forget what they look like when you wake up but once you see them you know.

❥︎ He was standoff-ish at first. When you first appeared, he didn't bother talking to you. You were a distraction!

❥︎ But slowly, he finds himself genuinely enjoying your company and he feels as if he is falling in love with the human blob in his dreams

❥︎ Then he blurted out that he was having a huge match. That they should met there. He didn't think they would actually agree.

"I have a match soon. You should come," Rin said, his tone flat, almost like it didn’t matter.

"Come? To where?" you asked, stepping closer. The two of you stood in your usual spot—a football field, because of course, even in his sleep, football was the only thing on his mind.

"You know my name. Just come," he replied, as if that was enough explanation.

You couldn’t help but laugh. But before you could say anything else—

He jolted awake. Dammit... You were so slow to answer.

-

The U-20 Japan vs. Blue Lock match hadn’t started yet. But that didn’t mean Rin would stop training. Not yet. He was in the gym, body tense with focus, warming up for the game ahead. He barely noticed anything else. It was just him and his equipment. But then..

"Hello"

A voice. One he knew. One that had engraved itself in his mind whether he was awake or asleep. He knew that voice from anywhere.

"So this is where you’ve been?"

His muscles locked up mid-movement. His breath caught. He knew that voice. He’d always known it. He slowly put down the weights he was holding. And slowly, he turned.

And this time, it wasn’t some blurry, half-forgotten figure in the back of his mind. It wasn't some human blob that he can't for the life of him make out the details. It was you. Like really you.

"You’re here," he muttered, almost like he didn’t believe it.

Yoichi Isagi - First words tattoo

❥︎ One day he woke up with a "Oh my god? Your eyes are so pretty" written on his wrist.

❥︎ His first reaction was to fangirl, cause what? the first thing his soulmate says to him is he is so pretty? What?

❥︎ If his soulmate finds him pretty, that means they'll have smth good right? Oh please let that be!

❥︎ Next, he finds himself staring at anyone and everyone, hoping to find that one person that finds his eyes pretty.

❥︎ When he was in middle school, he made sure that everyone can see his eyes! He wants to find his love as soon as possible.

❥︎ But once he entered Blue lock? he practically forgot about it. Suddenly his entire attention was driven away..

❥︎ He was so focused on his career that his desire to find his soulmate lessened. He needed to be the best striker!

❥︎ He was so focused in fact that even in his break, he was thinking about football when..

Isagi was on his way to hang out with his friends, finally getting a rare chance to rest and relax without the pressure of constant competition. He let out a small sigh of relief, enjoying the thought of just unwinding for once.

But, as usual, football was still on his mind. His thoughts drifted to the practice match he had later—strategies, plays, how he could improve. So lost in thought, he barely paid attention to his surroundings.

That was until he walked straight into someone.

Snapped out of his daze, Isagi blinked as he locked eyes with the person in front of him. They stared at each other for a moment. The stranger seemed so entranced by his eyes for some reason. But then the stranger suddenly blurted out, "Oh my god, your eyes are so pretty."

Isagi stiffened, caught completely off guard. "Hah?" His mind scrambled for a response—why was that the first thing they said? He blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what the stranger had said

Then it clicked.

His expression shifted as realization dawned. His eyes widened slightly before a small grin tugged at his lips. "It’s you!"

Time and time again, I fall into your embrace, No fate nor distance can ever erase.

[kaiserinnessie]

Hello! Can we get some headcanons about Karasu, Ness (plus anyone else you like) having a crush on reader? Like how would they go about their crush and go about pinning for them etc etc

Anyways hope you'll have a wonderful day or night!!!!! Don't forget to drink water!!<33

Of course!! Thank u for asking:D sorry it took a bit to dooo!!

Karasu, Ness, and Bachira having a crush on you! Only adding one extra because of how long I plan on making the headcannons:P but I’m not afraid of writing more!

No smut in this!!

HIGHSCHOOL AU!! <———

KARASU TABITO

Karasu Tabito is the kind of person who hides his insecurities behind a smirk and a teasing word. He’s always the first to joke around, to make everyone laugh, and to act as though nothing ever fazes him. But when it comes to you? All that confidence starts to crack, revealing the underlying yearning and self-doubt he’s desperately trying to suppress. Poor thing just wants to feel like he’s enough for you!

Big tease!

•Karasu has always been one of the smart ones, as as much as he is smart, he’s FLIRTY. And a huge tease. Granted not as much as a few others.. but it’s definitely still there.

•He’ll catch you off guard with a remark like, “You always do that when you’re thinking, huh?” Whenever he notices you tilt your head.. maybe lip your lips.. whatever it is. He knows. And he exploits it as much as he can.

•Loves to comment on if you’ve had a particular rough morning, maybe bed head or obviously not awake.. he will make sure you know. Though if you ever actually get mad or sad over it he will stop. “Woah.. did ya fight a raccoon last night?”

•if you EVER tease him back you have a 50/50 chance of him returning it or becoming a slightly flustered mess. Not like he will show it easily though.

Tries his best to always be near you…

•Karasu’s natural charisma often makes it seem like he’s always surrounded by people. But when it comes to you, he’ll go out of his way to be near you without you even realizing it. He’ll sit next to you in class when he doesn’t have to, lean casually against your desk just to talk to you between lessons, and find excuses to walk you home. He’ll claim it’s no big deal.. “I’m just making sure you don’t get lost, okay?”…but secretly, he cherishes the moments when it’s just the two of you.

•When he’s near you, he can’t help but feel a flutter of something warm in his chest. It’s the kind of feeling he’s not used to.. a feeling that makes him anxious because he doesn’t know how to handle it. But no matter how much he tries to suppress it, he keeps gravitating toward you, hoping you’ll notice him without him ever having to say the words. Until eventually he HAS too.

Jealousssyyy

•Karasu isn’t the jealous type.. at least, that’s what he tells himself. But when you laugh or talk to other guys, something sharp pricks at his chest. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, one he’s not used to. His first instinct is to mask it with sarcasm, to act as if it doesn’t bother him. But inside, he feels a knot in his stomach, a slight unease at the thought of you with someone else.

•If you’re talking to someone else, he’ll often find a way to insert himself into the conversation. His usual teasing becomes sharper, but it’s not about being funny anymore. It’s about making sure you know that he’s the one you should be paying attention to. He’ll throw his arm over your shoulder, get a little too close, and maybe say something like, “You sure you’re not wasting your time with this guy? You know I’m more fun.”

Absolute sweetie when alone

•Despite his usual bravado, Karasu craves the quiet moments with you. Whether it’s walking together after school, sitting next to you in class, or just sharing a silent moment… those are the times when his emotions are the hardest to hide. He’ll find himself watching you, memorizing the way you move, the way you laugh, the way you make everything seem so much brighter.

•These moments are the hardest for him. Because in the silence, he starts to realize just how much you mean to him.. and how terrified he is of losing you. It’s in these moments when the thought of telling you becomes unbearable, and he wonders if he’s even worthy of being the one you turn to.

Loves to impress you

•Deep down, Karasu has always felt like he’s been playing catch-up. He hides it well behind his teasing and cocky exterior, but there’s a part of him that constantly fears being seen as mediocre. He wants to stand out, to be someone worth remembering. And with you, he wants to be good enough. Not just for your attention, but for something deeper, something real.

•In gym class, he’ll push himself a little harder when he sees you watching. He doesn’t want to admit it, but the thought of impressing you is what drives him to do better. If you compliment him, he’ll respond with his usual smirk, trying to act like it doesn’t matter. But inside, his heart flutters with a mix of relief and excitement. She noticed me. She sees me.

Late night texts? Absolutely

•Karasu is the kind of person who can hide his emotions behind a joke. But sometimes, late at night, he’ll send you messages that are more than just silly or sarcastic.

•He might text you just to pass the time, “What would you do if I wasn’t here? Would you miss me?” Or maybe something a little more personal, like..“Do you ever wonder if life is just… full of random moments that change everything?” It’s his way of reaching out, of saying something without actually saying it. He won’t admit it, but he’s waiting for your reply, hoping you’ll answer in a way that makes him feel less alone.

Once he knows he’s WHIPPED

•There comes a point where Karasu can’t hide his feelings anymore, no matter how much he tries. It might happen when you’re laughing with friends, and his heart skips a beat just hearing your voice. Or when you smile at him in passing, and he’s suddenly unable to breathe.

•It’s in that moment that he realizes.. he’s completely, hopelessly in love with you. And it scares him. Because he’s terrified that he’s just another guy, another fleeting interest. That no matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be enough for you. But for now, all he can do is keep pretending, keep laughing, keep flirting, all while hoping you’ll see past the facade and notice the real him.

Alexis Ness

Ness’s feelings for you are incredibly pure and genuine, blooming like a soft, sweet affection that he doesn’t quite know how to navigate. From the moment he develops a crush on you, he becomes like a loyal, affectionate puppy, always wanting to be close to you and find reasons to make you smile. His energy is contagious.. when he’s around, everything feels a little lighter, a little more cheerful. He’s the kind of person who radiates positivity, but underneath that, there’s a quiet yearning and a soft vulnerability that he doesn’t always know how to express.

Ness has a deep insecurity about being seen as ordinary or forgettable. He works hard to stand out, to be noticed, but he often finds himself comparing himself to others, unsure of where he fits in the world. His crush on you brings out the best and the worst in him.. his fears, his doubts, and his desire to be enough for you.

Constantly finds reasons to be with u

•Ness doesn’t waste any opportunity to spend time with you. Whether it’s volunteering to help with schoolwork or suggesting to walk home together, he’s always finding reasons to be by your side. He’ll randomly show up with coffee or your favorite snack, his eyes lighting up when he sees you, eager to see your reaction. It’s almost like he wants to make you happy in the smallest ways, hoping that his efforts are enough to brighten your day.

•Though he’s always friendly and cheerful, there’s a subtle nervousness behind it. He wants to be the best version of himself for you, but he doesn’t always know how. When you smile at him or thank him for the small gestures, he feels a warmth spread through his chest, a quiet joy that makes him feel like everything is worth it. But as much as he tries to keep it together, his heart races, and he often stumbles over his words, embarrassed by how much he truly cares.

As sweet and gentle as a puppy (for you)

•When Ness realizes how deeply he feels for you, he gets a bit shy. He tries to play it cool, to act nonchalant, but it’s clear he’s overthinking everything. When you look at him or ask him a question, he stumbles over his words, his usual confidence faltering. He’ll laugh it off, pretending it’s nothing, but inside, he’s feeling a little like a mess. His sweet nature shines through, but his heart skips a beat whenever you say something kind, and he can’t help but overanalyze every interaction.

•Ness doesn’t know how to express his feelings in a bold way, so instead, he shows you through little actions.. holding the door open, offering his jacket when it’s cold, helping you with your assignments. He just wants to make your life a little easier and, in his quiet way, let you know that he’s always there for you. These small acts are his love language, and they come so naturally to him, yet he still worries if they’re enough.

Loves to make you smile

•One of the most endearing things about Ness is how much he wants to see you happy. He’s the type to notice when you’re feeling down or stressed and will try his best to lift your spirits. Whether it’s with a silly joke, a comforting gesture, or even just a quiet, understanding look, Ness is always there to help. He’s not the type to give grand speeches or make big gestures, but he’s the kind of person who shows love in the small, everyday moments.

•He’s incredibly thoughtful.. if you mentioned liking a particular song or a certain type of snack in passing, you can bet he’ll show up with it the next time he sees you. Ness loves these little moments because they let him express his feelings without needing to say too much. He’s a natural caretaker in that way, and he’s always hoping that his kindness makes you feel special.

Gets Jealous so easily

���Though Ness is gentle and kind, he’s not immune to feeling a little possessive when he sees other people getting too close to you. It’s not that he’s trying to be controlling.. it’s just that he feels a little insecure. He wants to be the one who gets your attention, the one who makes you smile the most. When another guy talks to you or compliments you, Ness can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy in his chest, even though he would never act on it in an aggressive way. (To you.. can’t say the same for anyone else)

•Instead, he quietly tries to show you that he’s there for you, often becoming a little more protective without even realizing it. He might hang out with you more, offering to help you with things that no one else would, just to remind you that he’s there and cares.(While threatening the other person, only if you show that you obviously dislike them. He wouldn’t want to hurt your friends.. mostly.)

Those quiet moments

•When you’re alone together, that’s when Ness’s feelings are the most apparent. He doesn’t need to say much in these moments, and neither do you. He just enjoys being near you, finding comfort in the small silences. Maybe you’re both doing homework together, or he’s walking you home, but in these quiet moments, he feels like he’s exactly where he’s meant to be. It’s almost magical

•Ness often finds himself stealing glances at you, his heart beating a little faster whenever you laugh or smile. He’s so afraid of ruining the moment by saying the wrong thing, so he often just stays quiet, content in the fact that he’s by your side. If you ever notice his lingering gaze or the way he shyly looks away when you catch him staring, it’s because he’s feeling more than he knows how to express. He’s falling for you, and he doesn’t want to mess it up.

His loyalty

•What stands out the most about Ness’s crush on you is his loyalty. He’s the type who would drop everything to be there for you, no questions asked. He wants to be your protector, your friend, and your confidant. He’s fiercely loyal and would never do anything to hurt you. If you ever need someone to lean on, Ness would be the first person there, offering his support without hesitation. His affection is quiet, steady, and unwavering.

Moment he realizes it all.. yeah

•Ness doesn’t always realize that his feelings for you go beyond simple friendship. It’s not until one quiet afternoon, when you laugh at something he said, or maybe when you thank him for something small he did, that it hits him. His heart does a little flutter, and suddenly, he understands just how deeply he cares about you. From that point on, it’s like a weight is lifted, and he’s even more determined to make you happy in any way he can.

•Ness’s love for you is gentle and earnest. It’s not grand or flashy, but it’s real and constant. He’s the type to love you with his whole heart, showing it through simple actions and soft words. And though he might still be a little unsure of how to express his feelings perfectly, he’s determined to be someone you can rely on, someone who’ll always be there for you.

MEGURU BACHIRA

Bachira is the type to approach his crush on you with a mix of lightheartedness, unpredictability, and deep affection. When he falls for you, it’s not like anyone else’s crush.. it’s loud, it’s chaotic, and it’s full of emotion. Bachira doesn’t believe in hiding his feelings, even if it means being a little too obvious sometimes. But beneath all the teasing and joking, there’s a soft, vulnerable side to him that he doesn’t always show. He wants to make you smile, he wants you to laugh, and more than anything, he wants to be the one to make you feel special.

He can’t ever get enough of you

•Bachira is a natural tease. The moment he realizes he likes you, he can’t help but bombard you with playful comments, jokes, and lighthearted teasing. Whether it’s making silly faces or doing goofy impressions, he’s always trying to get a reaction out of you. He’ll ask you odd questions, poke fun at you in a (mostly)harmless way, and keep things light and fun. But behind all that playfulness is a genuine desire to make you laugh, to see you smile, to know that you’re enjoying his company.

•When he has a crush, he can’t resist constantly being around you. He’s the type who will sit next to you in class for no reason, sneak glances when you’re not looking, and always find a way to get your attention, even if it’s through his random antics. He’s the guy who’ll throw an arm around your shoulder and grin when you look confused, as if everything he’s doing is just another joke.. but in reality, it’s him trying to stay close to you.

When not talking your ear off, it’s his actions

•Bachira’s way of showing affection is a bit unorthodox, but it’s sincere. He’s like a bumble bee always buzzing around you. Always texting you. “How was your day?” “How are youu?” “Can we eat lunch together?” “I miss youuu!!!” “ANSWER.”

•Will remember almost everything you say.. just mostly the dumb parts. Hates studying but will do it for you(he cracks jokes the whole time).. HUGE CUDDLE BUG. Always touching you.. never lets you go..

Gets jelly and it’s STRONG

•While Bachira’s personality is carefree and wild, his feelings for you run deep. When he notices someone else getting too close to you, it’s impossible for him to hide his feelings. He’ll pretend(and fail) it’s no big deal, but you can see it in the way his smile fades for just a moment, or how his hand curls into a fist when someone else tries to flirt with you. He’ll never be outright aggressive..(mostly), but there’s a possessiveness in the way he watches people who get too close to you. He’s like a dog marking his territory.. he’s not threatening, but you can definitely feel his desire to keep you close to him.

•However, Bachira isn’t the type to fight over you(does not count for others) aggressively. Instead, he’ll act like everything’s fine and try to win your attention in more subtle ways, pulling you into his chaotic world and distracting you with his playful nature, all while secretly hoping that his antics are enough to make you notice how much he cares. He just wants to be the one to make you smile and feel special, even if it means letting his jealousy show occasionally(constantly)

Vulnerable with you when alone

•Underneath his loud and energetic exterior, Bachira has moments of quiet vulnerability when he’s around you. He can get a little shy when it’s just the two of you, especially when things turn serious. If you catch him looking at you longer than usual, he might get embarrassed and quickly look away, trying to hide the blush that creeps up on his cheeks. When you talk about deeper things, his usual playful demeanor softens, and you see a glimpse of the real Bachira.. a lonely guy who feels a little unsure about himself but is desperately trying to make you feel happy.

•It’s in these quieter moments that Bachira’s true feelings for you come to the surface. He might not say it outright, but his actions speak volumes. He’ll gently touch your arm or shoulder in a reassuring way, or maybe he’ll put his hand on your back, guiding you through a crowd, always making sure you’re okay. His touch is full of affection. But when in public it grows a lot more.. rowdy. Still out of love though!!

NEEDS to be your first choice

•While Bachira doesn’t like to admit it, he really wants to be the first person you turn to when something goes wrong or when you’re feeling down. He has a quiet fear that you might not see him as more than a fun guy to hang out with. He wants to be the person who makes you feel better, the one who makes you laugh when you’re sad, and the one you want to spend time with above anyone else.

•When you’re upset, Bachira might not always know the right words to say, but he’ll always show up, ready to do whatever it takes to put a smile on your face. He doesn’t want you to feel alone, he knows all too well how it feels, and he doesn’t want you to rely on anyone but him when you need support. The thought of you turning to someone else for comfort stings him more than he lets on, but he hides it by cracking a joke or offering a silly comment, just so he can keep being the one you lean on.

Innocent and sweet(in his love. Bro is NOT innocent in general.)

•One of the sweetest things about Bachira’s crush on you is how innocent and pure it is. He’s not manipulative or calculating in his feelings.. everything he does is from the heart. He genuinely cares about you and wants to make you happy. There’s no ulterior motive.. he just enjoys being around you. Whether you’re just hanging out or studying together, he’s always doing little things to make you feel comfortable and appreciated.

•He doesn’t try to win you over with flashy gestures. Instead, he lets his goofy, chaotic personality do the talking, and though it may not be the most conventional way to show affection, it’s real. Bachira loves wholeheartedly, with a sincerity that can’t be overlooked, even if he’s not always the best at expressing it.

[twopoppies]

I'd like to share my opinion in refrence to this ask and see what you think: I think the first thing to acknowledge is that Louis knows he played a role in creating this. He knows that in the past, he rebelled against his closet in the only ways he could—through coding, lyrics, even the bears. But he’s not that young, reckless version of himself anymore and he’s now trying to rein it in. Because while those signals may have been acts of defiance back then, they also helped create a situation that he now has to manage all the time for his own privacy.

And that’s where these more recent denials come in. If you actually look at what he’s saying, he’s not saying what people think he is. He’s not denying anything about Harry. He’s not saying he’s straight. He’s saying that this conversation has become too big, too invasive, too damaging at times.

"And occasionally, [these theories] end up addressing things that are a little unfair. This is what we have now. There’s nothing I can do about it."

This is what actually bothers him. Not people believing in Larry. Not people thinking he’s in love with Harry. But the way people go after his family, invade his privacy, and refuse to respect the reality he’s living in. Because whatever the truth of the situation may be, Freddie has been in his life for eight years. This is his reality for now. At this point, what else can he do but accept the situation and try to make the best of it? I think that’s really what it comes down to—boundaries. Not just for himself, but for the people around him who never asked to be part of this narrative. Because while there are plenty of fans who support him quietly and respectfully (like us staying over here on our little corner of Tumblr), there are also people who take it way too far—who harass his friends and family, invade privacy, and trample over boundaries in pursuit of proof.

And I think that’s who he’s really calling out when he speaks on this. Not the people who love and support him. Not even the ones who believe in Larry. But the ones who won’t accept that some things aren’t theirs to dig into. The ones who make his closet harder to live in. The ones who take what was once about love and turn it into a demand for answers he can’t give.

So, I think he uses these denials more to set boundaries. At the end of the day, I think his priority isn’t proving or disproving anything—it’s making life as livable as possible for himself and the people he loves (including Harry).

Hi, darling. I agree with all of this, with one small bit of nuance added.

The last denial was very different from all the others. With that, plus the documentary, I agree very much that he’s trying to set boundaries. And there are definitely larries who overstep, just as much as there are solos etc. who do.

The problem is that every denial he’s done previously has felt so targeted toward larries and “conspiracies,” that the immediate reaction from everyone is to attack us (and for us to feel defensive).

I think this new vibe is certainly a better approach. And, as I’ve been saying for a while (and in the post you link), I think he’d prefer fans who focus on his music, his fashion brand, and whatever other work he does, and stop focusing so much on his personal life.

They don’t need the same sort of support they once did. I do wish he’d just say that instead of leaving it up to everyone to read between the lines because most people are going to read it in a way that suits their own narrative.

I recognize it’s a very tricky thing to do. But fans could help if they’d pull back a bit. I know I’ve been trying to do that (it’s hard).

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

thank u so much for mentioning the weirdness of lilia's death-return through the magic of love. i get that it's disney, i get that we cannot actually commit to killing one of the main cast and have the characters deal with the fallout of it (which is a shame, because real life sure does not work this way). but the "love can save you" always irks me through implication that somehow this love is more special than other loves. this love is strong enough to save. it's unintentionally cruel. and i know that they tried to hastily foreshadow it with "the origin of magic" lore, but that doesn't make it work much better imho.

[You can read my thoughts on the book 7 finale here!]

I mean, I don't know that I would call it weird? It was definitely something brought up as a very real possibility from early on in book 7. Twst, being a gacha game that has to market its characters to make $$$ on banners, would never actually commit to killing someone though. And that, combined with the fact that Twst is a Disney property--you know, Disney, known for its "power of love" and "happily ever afters"--practically guaranteed they would pull some convenient excuse to bring Lilia back from the dead + restore his magic so he can properly reconcile with everyone in Diasomnia. Like, we all surely saw this coming from a mile away, but now that it's a reality, I think it just sits with us worse than we expected it to?

It's such a shame too, I feel like if the story wasn't constrained as it was, we could have a much more meaningful ending. Think of what Lilia's (permanent) death would mean for the characters in the long run.

Firstly, it would just mirror real life. All previous OBers' issues were very visceral and grounded truths players could relate to, traumas which take time and effort to overcome. Malleus's issue (fear of losing loved ones, loneliness, etc.) are also "real", but the conclusion to his troubles feels less impactful because he's the only OBer that gets to magically "fix" the thing he was fixated on. That reads as really... tonally dissonant. Real life people can't wish upon a star for their loved ones to return and then have the wish come true. There's not much Malleus learned that a player could. (I'm assuming most players already know about the other messages book 7 tries to promote, which are cooperation, understanding, etc.)

Secondly, it forces Malleus into a position where he HAS to come to terms with the fact that he--yes, HE--played a part in killing the man he was trying to protect all this time. "There's no turning back time," they keep telling us all book. They even compare Lilia’s situation to Vil’s intense aging in book 6, explicitly stating that Vil can be restored but Lilia CAN’T--oh, except when you actually can! So they should have committed to that. It would show Malleus there ARE consequences to his actions, that magic CAN'T solve everything, that he HAS to work through these emotional and mental hurdles to grow as a person. In the current version of events, it feels like you’re rewarding Malleus for bad behavior (ie taking extremes to prevent Lilia from leaving him) by prolonging the inevitability of him having to deal with death.

I think I get what you're saying about "love can save you" being irksome. By having Lilia and only Lilia revived (+ the surprised reactions of the other characters implying this is not a normal thing), it... could read as distasteful for other situations. Like, imagine some other Twst character has a dead relative. Idia, Rollo. And they're so emotionally distraught by it, praying and wishing every day to bring that dead relative back--but it doesn't happen. That's... honestly soul-crushing. It's as if the universe is telling them, "Hey, your love isn't strong enough. You didn't wish hard enough, didn't ask hard enough, don’t have enough power, to bring back your loved one." That leaves such a bad taste in the mouth. It’s even more bitter seeing the lengths those other characters were driven to for the sake of their brothers (lengths which arguably are the same as Malleus's). That feels like such a slap to the face, especially to Idia, who spent years and YEARS blaming himself for Ortho's death, and now has to stand there and watch Lilia be revived. Now that we’ve established that bringing back the dead is possible, it sort of makes all past deaths retroactively feel cheap too. Lilia wants his two best friends back, but his wish supposedly isn’t “enough”?? Idia and Rollo want their brothers back, and that's not "enough" either? Why should they all grieve but Malleus doesn't?

I guess you could explain this away by saying that the other stipulation is an absurd amount of magical power (which was provided by Malleus's broken off horn + Silver's ring)?? But if original magic is from the heart's desire, then it implies a wish is all it takes 💦

I really feel like the devs accidentally wrote themselves into a corner by promising so much to us, only to only follow through on a fraction of those promises OTL Now that I think of it, the "true origin of magic" lore was dropped recently (like, late in Riddle's dream). Makes me wonder if they came up with that to try to try and cover for a plot point that would otherwise be a deus ex machina...

[abjectaspiringfailure]

So the DBD lore reason given for why Kaneki's the killer is that when he was at his absolutely most broken during Yamori's torture, The Entity (the lore reason for DBD's existence) came in possession of him and corrupted him even more than he was already corrupted. I've talked with some dbdheads like @notmikasupamika (she used to be a TG poster, she streams on twitch and youtube) a while back about it, and they mentioned that The Entity has a lot of ways to corrupt Kaneki. Like The Entity can cause hallucinations, make emotions worse, tempt people with power - all things that would really work on corrupting Kaneki when he's at his worse.

The survivor skins being Hide, Touka, and Eto is actually amazing. These are three characters Kaneki literally ate at different points of the manga, who were without a doubt the 3 people most essential to his survival throughout the manga, and were people that Kaneki pushed away when they wanted to help him*.

I wonder if it's entirely coincidental? Maybe the DBD guys love those characters, maybe they have a rotating set of characters that get new skins and like those skins line up with those characters? Maybe the live action movies are going to continue, and they're planning on doing the Aogiri Arc? That would explain why the 4 masks they include are Noro, Owl, Ayato, and Tatara.

Or maybe Ishida wanted those characters, and asked for it? He has worked with a game design team for years now.

I told people I'd play DBD when the TG stuff came out. I was trying to get twitch working with amd adrenalin, think it'd be cool to stream it and avoid writing tg metas that I promised because the crushing weight of my own expectations is too much to grizzly bear.

dead by daylight ruining my life ONCE AGAIN so have a quick sketch

[ldydeath]

Feels Like I’ll Die Without You | Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon)

Summary: You run into your ex at a party. Neither of you are over each other, despite you being in a relationship with someone else. Will temptation get the best of you? Warnings: language, mentions of cheating, make out scene.  Word Count: 1.3k Author's Note: this is kind of a part two to I Used to Believe In You. You don’t really need to read it to understand this installment but if you want the background on why they broke up, you can read it here. Considering turning this into a series, let me know if you want a third part of this! 

It has been years since you’d been back in Korea. You didn’t even want to think about how long it had been or the way your last trip had ended. Something you’d thought would last a lifetime had come crumbling down in seconds. Looking back over the last twelve years you were glad it had ended. As much as you’d love Jiyong as a young twenty something in the industry it wasn’t meant to be. 

You hated how your brain instantly went to him the second your feet touched solid ground after your flight. You had a boyfriend and it has been twelve years since you’d seen Jiyong in person. Sure, he’d pop up on tv from time to time or social media but you hadn’t thought of him, talked to him, seen him since he’d flown to your house after you’d broken up all those years ago. 

For whatever reason, you were being forced to go to an event that you knew he’d be at, because of course he would be. Luxury, fashion, expensive things were his thing now. Long gone was the blonde edgy boy you’d met when you were first starting out. Now he was softer, more into fashion than you’d ever remembered him being. But your relationship had never really been that deep and for all you knew this was who he’d been from the start. 

“No shit.” You heard a familiar voice and turned, coming face to face with Youngbae and grinned. 

“Hi YB.” You pulled him into a hug, instant relief washing over you. 

An unfortunate circumstance of your fall out with Jiyong was the no contact you’d had with his three best friends post breakup. They’d been your friends too but as his closest friends and bandmates it was just easier for you to fade out of their lives.   

“You look great. How have you been?” 

“Good. Stable. I heard you got married and have a kid. That’s so exciting, I’m so happy for you!” 

“Thanks! I gotta admit I always thought you and Jiyong would be first to get married.” 

“Yeah, well…that didn’t happen.” The all too familiar voice of Jiyong rang out and you swallowed, your smile faltering. “Hello.” 

You turned from the safety of Youngbae, coming face to face with Jiyong. He was still just as handsome as ever and damn it if your heart didn’t speed up at the site of him. He looked handsome, his suiting fitting his body like a glove. The hat was a little goofy but damn it if he didn’t rock it. 

“Hi.” You squeaked out. Cursing yourself in your head. Jiyong smirked before raising a brow at Youngbae. 

“Excuse us for a minute?” Youngbae waved goodbye to you before walking away. “You look….amazing.” 

That was not what he wanted to say. You looked hot, but he wasn’t going to come straight out and say how down bad he still was for you. How no woman he’d been with since you could ever compare to you. You’d have all the power and he couldn’t have that. 

“Thanks. So do you.” You could feel the awkward tension rising in the room. 

“You wanna grab a drink and talk?” The way he said talk made your weak. That used to be code for doing anything but talking. 

“I have a boyfriend.” You blurted out and Jiyong closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. 

Of course you had a boyfriend. He should’ve known you wouldn’t stay single. You were one of the most talented and amazing people he’d ever met, you wouldn’t have just stayed single the last twelve years. 

“Ok? So a drink and we actually just talk.” You knew you shouldn’t, everything in your body telling you not to go with him. 

Deciding to ignore the warnings, you nodded your head and followed him. His hand reached out to grab yours and you knew you should pull away. Instead you linked your fingers with his and allowed him to lead you away from the crowd. He grabbed two drinks off a tray, handing you one so he wouldn’t have to let you go and led you outside. 

There was nobody out here, thanks to the chilly Korean night. You took a sip of your drink, your hand staying firmly in Jiyong’s hand. He looked down at your entwined fingers and smirked again before giving your hand a squeeze. He wasn’t going to let go first. Neither were you. Why was it so easy to fall into these old habits with him? 

Jiyong let go of your hand, moving to stand directly in front of you, his drink abandoned. Your heart sped up and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach at the closeness. You looked up, locking eyes with him and he moved his free hand to cup your cheek. You should back out of his touch, run inside, find security with the other attendees. He wouldn’t touch you like this in front of people. Instead, you leaned into his touch and there was that damn smirk again. 

“What?” 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous.” His eyes trailed from your eyes to your lips as he spoke.

You didn’t even question it, your body reacting to him whether you liked it or not and his lips were on yours. It was too much, too much passion, too wrong but you couldn’t help yourself when it came to Jiyong. You would probably always want him and that was why you’d stayed away for as long as you had. He wasn’t good for you, this wasn’t good for you. 

“Jiyong.” You panted, pulling away from him. “I can’t. I have a boyfriend.”  Jiyong shrugged at your words, leaning in closer to you. 

“He doesn’t have to know.” His lips covering yours again. 

It was almost too easy, getting lost in this moment with him. Hands roaming each other's bodies as the kiss took a desperate turn. His jacket was off, tie untied as he lifted you up on the table, your legs opening slightly so he could stand between them, your legs wrapping around him. His hands roaming up your legs as he broke the kiss. His lips latched onto your neck as he trailed kisses down your throat, your chest. Your eyes popped open as if coming to your senses as his lips brushed your breast. 

“Jiyong, I can’t.” You pushed him away slightly, jumping down off the table and smoothing out your dress.  “I’m not this person anymore.” 

Jiyong took a respectable step back and straightened his tie before sliding his jacket back on. As much as he still wanted you, he wasn’t going to do anything you didn’t want to do. If that meant he had to wait another twelve years for a stolen moment with you, fine. 

“I’m sorry. I got carried away.” 

“It’s fine. I did too.” You let out a sigh. You could’ve walked away at any moment, this wasn’t all on Jiyong. “I think I should go though.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I have to go present this watch anyway.” He took his hat off running his hand through his messy green hair and offered you a weak smile. “It was really good to see you.” 

“You too.” You nodded before walking away. 

Jiyong stood there, watching you walk away and swallowed the lump on his throat. He’d watched you walk away from him too many times in his life and somehow this one hurt the most. He wasn’t the same cocky asshole you’d met all those years ago but of course he hadn’t shown you any proof of that. The second he’d seen you all logical thoughts had gone right out the window. 

It hurt all the same though, having you reject him all over again. At this rate he figured he’d never be over you. It had been twelve years and he folded the second he’d seen you. Maybe one day he’d convince you that you were meant to be. But for now he’d just have to find a way to be ok with this moment. He smoothed his suit out one last time before heading inside, making sure to avoid you the rest of the evening.

tag list: @wcnderlnds @alosss-blog @sooyasya @dprvivi @infinetlyforgotten @mirahyun @loveesiren @tulentiy

[0viraptoraskblog]

I wonder which of the characters would like to have a child? Lawrence is sterile as far as I know. And since Ren has heats, maybe he would like to??? (thanks for your blog, it helps a lot! health and happiness to you)

Thank you! ^^

While I don’t think any of the characters would be big on having kids, there are a few who would be more or less likely in my mind.

Lawrence: I don’t think Law would do good with kids, even if he could have them. You’re correct that he’s sterile. Other people are not his thing, and young people who don’t understand as much (likely to point and stare at him, loud and unpredictable, asks a lot of questions, etc..) are even worse. I think his interactions with peers as a child (being outcast, constant bullying) and his aversion to kids in general would make him stay away. Also, the act of creating a kid. He has to work his way up to that before even considering the outcome.

Ren: As for Ren; he does have heats, and I think his breeding kink really kicks in at that time. It’s a hormonal thing, he can’t exactly help it— but when he’s in heat, that’s all he thinks about. He needs to get you pregnant, to have kits, to further his bloodline. (even if you’re amab, he’s not thinking straight during that week. It’s like a lustful delirium. He’ll try anyway.) And you look so good to him while in heat, how can he resist?

Outside of his heats though, I don’t think he’s ever had this ‘dream’ of having kids. However, I think he might be one of the most likely characters to have children. On better paths, Ren is capable of more ‘normal’ romantic love. Unlike Strade, who seeks out victims mainly for entertainment, Ren does want some kind of relationship. He wants someone to care for, who cares about him too. I think if he was on a nicer path and had someone he truly loved, he might consider starting a family. (I think that if he ever did, he’d be the type to have 3-4 kids instead of just 1 or 2). Once he starts thinking about the idea more, I think the thought of having kits of his own would make him very happy. It would give him something mundane to strive for, rather than blood and torture. He’d pamper his partner extra well too, on behalf of the little ones. He can be very caring in that regard. And yes, I said kits ;)

Outside of a loving relationship, if it was more of the master/pet that we see in BTD2, I don’t think he’d force kids on someone just because he wants them. If he even did. Yeah, that breeding kink is still engraved in his mind, and he may talk about getting you pregnant (if possible) when in a ‘mood’— but I don’t think he’d actually want children in reality. He knows how serious of a decision that is, even when on a dark path.

So Ren depends on a lot of things.

Strade: I don’t think Strade would want to be a dad. Kids canonically don’t interest him, and he clearly has different ideas of ‘love’ than normal people. I think if he did have kids (maybe on accident, with a kept MC? You know he doesn’t use protection) he’d be a somewhat okay dad, not great, but decent. Not as horrible as you’d think. I don’t see him ever wanting kids though. He’s satisfied with himself and what he does. And his pets! What else could he ever need? :)

Another one I think might want kids, though, is actually Mason. He’s a fairly traditional guy. We know he’s capable of true love, even though it’s skewed a little or a lot by his uh.. views on the world, he can still fall in love. I think if he found someone he loves and views as an equal (not as prey) he’d like the idea of having a family. He’d like having someone to provide for, and to come home to after a long day of hunting. I can picture him as a proud dad taking his (older) kid into the woods with him, teaching them how to start fires the right way or built snares. He has a lot of ‘wisdom’ to pass down.

Those are the ones that come to mind. I hope you don’t mind I sort of rambled, I just love these kind of questions ^^

And remember these are just my thoughts/headcanons, nothing serious :)

[ephemeralinstance]

Spirits and Bodies

The thing that first drew me to Solas, before I knew his true identity, was the way he talked about spirits. How passionately he argued for the personhood of spirits, and particularly the fact that they can be persons without having physical bodies. 

The spirits are of course a metaphor here, and one that I really like: it's about recognising the personhood of those who are very different to you, who have customs that are alien to you, who perhaps don't look the way you are used to or don't emote in the way you expect, who you may even have been taught to fear. 

This is particularly interesting with respect to the portrayal of the Mourn Watch in Veilguard. The Watchers are clearly much more respectful and compassionate toward spirits than most other groups in Thedas, but even for them, the principal way in which they interact with spirits is by putting them into bodies. As far as I can tell this is meant to be understood as consensual, but nonetheless it does feel a little uncomfortable to me, as if taking on bodies is necessary for their personhood to be recognised: the spirits have to be made more similar to the embodied before the embodied can fully appreciate them as people. 

And interestingly, I think the way the spirits are presented in the games implicitly acknowledges how hard it is for us, the players, to truly acknowledge the personhood of disembodied spirits. For in fact nearly all of the spirits which play a significant role in the series are hosted in bodies of one kind or another: Justice, Cole, Manfred, Spite, even Solas himself. I suspect this is because the developers assume that they need to have bodies in order for us to emotionally connect with them. Manfred is a particularly clear example - he's cute and friendly because he has expressions and he emotes, and so the 'death' of Manfred is presented as a tragedy, whereas wisps which don't have bodies are never treated as individuals, and indeed we're expected to literally use them as keys as if they're inanimate objects. 

(I'm reminded of Solas, in the short story 'The Dread Wolf Take You,' gently freeing a wisp which had been bound by a mage to a device for stirring drinks. Not only that, but he actually speaks to it like a person, saying 'You are free.' Words can't express how much I loved that moment! Anyway, Solas would have hated those wisp-lock things). 

What's fascinating is that the response of many players provides a clear meta-level demonstration of how it's hard to acknowledge the personhood of those very different from us. For example, many of those who dislike Solas focus entirely on the consequences of his plans for the embodied, either forgetting or not caring about the rights and personhood of spirits who are trapped behind the Veil and suffering deeply from their alienation from the physical world. And in fact Veilguard itself leans into this, consistently telling us that Solas is wrong because his plans would hurt embodied people, without offering any resolution to the plight of the spirits. At no point do we ever have the chance to hear from the spirits themselves about their views on the Veil. In some ways, the game falls into the trap of its own metaphor - as always in Thedas, the personhood of the spirits is forgotten and it's the embodied who come out on top.

[wisteria-lodge]

Bellatrix doesn’t trust the Malfoys - she’s tailing Narcissa and clearly doesn’t agree with how Lucius runs things re. the battle of the Department of Mysteries. And with Draco... it’s subtle... but I think there is definitely some hedging language going on.

“Draco should be proud,” said Bellatrix indifferently. “The Dark Lord is granting him a great honor. And I will say this for Draco: He isn’t shrinking away from his duty, he seems glad of a chance to prove himself, excited at the prospect —” 

“Draco should be proud” vs “Draco is proud” means that Draco OUGHT to be proud… but she’s not sure that he is. Also, “I will say this for ____” is generally a sentence construction you use when you don’t generally approve of someone, but have one positive point to make. Bellatrix is positive towards Draco, but it’s not uncomplicated praise. 

What I think is going on here is a kind of tug-of-war between the two sisters, over Draco. In that context, I actually kinda like the idea that Bellatrix gave Draco occlumency lessons, because that would mean she’s actively trying to pull him away from Narcissa… and then Draco showing up at the end with Narcissa’s wand confirms that he’s picked his mother’s magic over Bellatrix’s (and Bellatrix is just like, the anti-mother in so many ways.) 

(I do think it would be cool if all the Black sisters knew occlumency. They could even have had an occlumency *tutor* when they were kids, that’s extremely on-brand.) 

I had a super good time reading through your comment and the linked meta, and here is my new and improved understanding of how occlumency/legilimancy works: 

First, Snape does a pretty good job spelling it out:

Those who have mastered Legilimency are able, under certain conditions, to delve into the minds of their victims and to interpret their findings correctly. The Dark Lord, for instance, almost always knows when somebody is lying to him. Only those skilled at Occlumency are able to shut down those feelings and memories that contradict the lie, and so utter falsehoods in [Voldemort's] presence without detection.

This makes perfect sense. If a legilimens goes up against a good occlumens, they’re not seeing a blank wall, they’re seeing an altered memory. We get a really good snap-shot of what this looks like, with Slughorn’s altered horcrux memory. But he’s not a very good occlumens, so the lie is really obvious (to Dumbledore anyway.) (and to Harry, honestly. He might be a naturally better legilimens than he is an occlumens. He'd pretty good at "reading" Voldemort's emotional state/motives through the various glimpses he gets.)

But okay. Snape is very, very good at occlumency. It’s not compartmentalization, or at least it’s not just compartmentalization. It’s closer to double-think, or “it’s not a lie if you believe it.” Like the bit where Voldemort says that Snape merely “desired” Lily. Snape can’t convince Voldemort that he doesn’t care about Lily or she never meant anything to him, but he can sort of lean into the desire part of his love, block off the rest, and make that lie look really convincing to Voldemort. 

Snape says that occlumency is all about being emotionless… but he’s fooling himself. @severus-snaps is completely right that in this segment, Snape is falling back into self-hatred, and talking about himself.

I told you to empty yourself of emotion! … Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people, in other words — they stand no chance against his powers!

He’s also, apparently, just wrong. Grief (or love, the text treats them as the same thing) are how Harry keeps out Voldemort:

so his thoughts could not penetrate Harry now, while he mourned Dobby. Grief, it seemed, drove Voldemort out … though Dumbledore, of course, would have said that it was love …

I wonder though, if that might not say more about how legilimancy works than it does about how occlumency works. “The mind is not a book” Legilimens need to interpret thoughts, and I think Voldemort might have trouble interpreting/controlling a mind so deeply in grief, because that’s an emotion that’s so foreign to him, and it makes the “reading” aspect of legilimancy significantly harder. 

I also love your point about how dementors are the ultimate Legilimens, I think that’s absolutely what’s intended by Snape’s comment about how there are other, better ways to ward off a dementor. So: Sirius can keep the dementors out with obsession. (and the training of my super cool new OC, Black Family Occulumency Tutor.) And Bellatrix can probably also tap into that type of “obsession.” Harry can keep out dementors with thoughts of security and love, which we see when he walks into the forest for his confrontation with Voldemort in Book 7 - and honestly there are a lot of scattered occasions where Harry reflects that he feels so happy casting a patronus would be effortless.

This lines up with how he’s able to keep out Voldemort with grief (because, grief = love.) This emotion-based occlumency does seem to be a different *type* of occlumency than whatever snape is usually doing, though. This seems more like the “wall” style occlumency you read about in fics. Maybe this is what Snape sees when he tries to “read” Draco’s mind: just a big wall of grief and shame and obsession. He could punch through it… but probably not without hurting Draco. I do wonder if Voldemort ever asked Draco if “Vernon Dudley” was Harry Potter, though. And how he got out of that. 

Snape *additionally* seems to be able to do this memory-manipulation style occlumency that we also see from Slughorn (only he's much better at it) and it does seem like a slightly different discipline. I’ll buy that. If Voldemort’s specialty is always knowing when people are lying to him, I’ll bet there are other specialties as well.

Re Snape and being a spy, I was always so so baffled that after Dumbledore exposed Snape as his spy, Voldemort was arrogant enough to take Snape back.

Because of course he would never. After Voldemort killed Lily, too? Lol. Lmao, even. Snape would have become the first name in the burn book. Undesirable №0.

And if it meant that Voldemort would never ask Snape to come back, that would mean that Dumbledore IS actually merciful, that he does actually understand how grooming works and for real saved Snape, and gave him his second chance. Which of course would make Dumbledore a fundamentally good person, and not like, whatever JKR writes.

I was always very... unsure on what JKR actually thinks good is. Because, well. Sometimes she writes someone being righteous, and doing very, very dubious shit. No one ever said "Hermione, kidnapping is bad" or "Hermione, erasing the memories of your parents is bad", or even "However bad Umbridge was, that scene is written as angry men kidnapping a woman and then her being returned traumatized from,,,,, SOMETHING".

It's fine when Hagrid makes fun of Dudley for being fat, but it's not fine when Draco makes fun of Mrs. Weasley for being fat. It's fine for Arthur to "get off" Ludo Bagman's brother after he gets in trouble, and get 10 expensive top-box tickets out of it. But Fudge doing "favors" for Lucius after he... donates money to St. Mungos... now that's unacceptable.

JKR's view of morality is that there are good people and bad people, and that if you're a good person your actions are by definition good. It's why she's so interested in mechanisms to sort out the good people - the Sorting Hat putting people into Gryffindor, and now the Qilin picking out the most worthy King Wizard. Occasionally a Good person will be tempted off the Good Path because of a Bad influence (ie - Snape falling under the thrall of his pureblood buddies and then snapping back to center, Dumbledore falling in with of Grindelwald and then repenting, Percy becoming enamored with the Ministry... etc.)

JKR also seems to really, really dislike arrogance. Lockhart, Lucius, Draco, Percy... and Voldemort is the most arrogant of them all. Him trusting Snape is definitely an example of him being extremely stupid... but his inflated sense of his own grandeur, his own importance, that's totally been set up. Also, clearly the guy does not have a great understanding of the intricacies of romantic relationships.

“He desired her, that was all,” sneered Voldemort, “but when she had gone, he agreed that there were other women, and of purer blood, worthier of him —”

If I wanted to get psychological about this, I'd say that Voldemort doesn't think about his relationships in terms of love (i mean, dumbledore thinks he loves the snake but that's neither here nor there) but in terms of whether people are WORTHY of him or not. Wormtail is objectively extremely effective... but he's not worthy, based on whatever set of criteria Voldemort has in his head. Voldemort/Bellatrix and Voldemort/Barty jr. (I see it) absolutely feature Bellatrix and Barty doing some very extreme things to prove themselves worthy of him. So it's not surprising that Voldemort lands on that word when talking about Snape's potential rebound.

Especially because Voldemort absolutely has experience with people desiring him, physically. (DEFINITELY Hepzibah Smith, and there's no way she was the first. Tom is playing the part of the Charmer on purpose.) So on some level, I'll buy that he just thinks that's what love is.

Where we get into potential plotholes is with legilimency. Dumbledore and Voldemort can still read minds, and still they both think Snape is working for them. Either Snape is able to construct false memories for them to look at... or maybe if a occulumens is good enough you just can't read their mind, even if they want you too. Except *Harry* can read Snape's mind? Is he just Anakin Skywalker levels of powerful? (I mean, maybe.) But then does that also means that DRACO'S occlumency is good enough to fool Voldemort?

(the biggest sign that JKR just did not really think the whole legilimency/occlumency thing through... is the detail that Bellatrix taught Draco occlumency. Why would she do that? (especially because at that point she's starting not to trust him.) Even if she did want to, why would Bellatrix - who is an enforcer/berserker type, not stealth, not a spy, not good at/inclined to conceal her emotions... why would she be able to conceal her thoughts? Why would she even WANT to, when her main thing is desperately seeking connection with Voldemort?

[loredrinker]

Solas' Blurred Motivations

I've been enjoying discourse around Solas, lately it seems to be how he views modern elves. Some argue that he doesn’t care about them, while others insist that he does. 

What if the issue isn’t whether he cares or not, but how his reasoning has blurred over time? 

Solas’ has never acted out of apathy. On the contrary, he is an emotional being. His choices are driven by urgency, conviction, and a ruthless determination to see his plans through. The closer he gets to his goal, it seems the more ruthless he becomes. Is this ruthlessness innate - or is it the desperation of a man who believes he has one last chance to set things right?

Even if Solas comes to accept the people of Thedas as real, I don’t believe he could ever truly accept Thedas as his world. He will always see it as a broken version of what should be - and that’s where the blurring comes from. He convinces himself that restoring the ancient world is the same as saving modern elves. But it never can be. 

His regret mural with Mythal is a good indicator. It shows us that even Solas, through his own memories, recognizes that his justifications are flawed: 

"Why should I not tear down the Veil and bring immortality to all the elven people? They deserve it!" 

In his mind, he isn’t imposing destruction. He has rationalized destruction as salvation. 

But Mythal exposes his self-deception: 

"The elven people of today do not deserve to see the world they love be torn apart to salve your conscience!" 

Solas has lost perspective. His reasoning is no longer about the elves, but about his guilt, just as it was in Inquisition: 

"I was too weak to unlock it after my slumber. The failure was mine. I should pay the price. But the people... they need me. I'm so sorry." 

Solas was framing his actions as something for the people back in Inquisition - but his self-imposed responsibility was distorting his reality then – a distortion we see in how even Solas recalls that memory in Veilguard. 

Anyone under prolonged stress, trauma, and guilt will begin fusing personal needs with external justifications. Solas isn’t thinking clearly - his reasoning has become warped.  

I truly believe Solas does not operate in malice. He is not evil, is not led by hate. Some may see him in absolutes, I can't. His goal of returning to the elves what he had taken shifts into an obsession with the Veil itself, regardless of consequences. Any compassion he may have held for modern elves is blurred over time by his guilt for what he did to the elves of the past. Blurred by his guilt of what he did to the Titans.

So, I don’t think it’s that Solas doesn’t care for modern elves – he has tunnel vision. He can't see that modern elves might not want his world - because he can never actually live in theirs. 

Mythal’s Death 

It’s interesting that Solas leans more into ruthlessness after Mythal is murdered. Before, he was a revolutionary leader - freeing slaves, fighting against tyranny. But after Mythal’s death, he becomes something else. His choices grow colder - sacrificing spirits, elves, and allies alike.

Felassan notices this shift - Solas is no longer leading a freedom movement, but pursuing vengeance. His mission to destroy the Evanuris has overtaken everything. And we see this pattern repeat in Veilguard - after Inquisition. Solas consumed by his goal, withdraws from those he created connections with, just as he did with Felassan. The isolation of a revolutionary who no longer listens. 

The closer Solas gets to his goal, the more consumed and desperate he seems to become. He loses sight of the people in his pursuit of 'saving them' (in pursuit of a world that Mythal would have 'wanted').

When Ideals Become Chains

Fiction is full of characters who lost themselves in their ideals. People so consumed by an end goal that the means overtake the original intent. I think of Boromir from The Lord of the Rings - his intentions with the Ring were initially good. He wanted to protect his people so badly, but he became obsessed with its power and nearly lost himself. Or Anakin Skywalker, whose fear of losing Padmé, his mother, pushed him into desperation, leading him to betray everything he once fought for. 

Solas has ideals, but he’s lost sight of them and his belief in freedom does not make him immune to war’s darker influences. War does not leave its fighters unchanged. Soldiers return from battle with fractured identities, blurred morality, and wounds both seen and unseen. The longer they fight, the harder it becomes to separate the cause they once believed in from the choices they made to survive. Why can’t this aspect be applied to Solas as well? He's been in war for millennia.

Solas may, deep down, truly want to restore immortality, to restore magic - but the path to hell is paved with good intentions. He sees only his sin, his failure, the suffering his actions have created.

I don’t think Solas can ever exist in Thedas as it is today. It’s no longer his world. Leaving to enter the Fade prison seems the only path left to him, especially if he chooses it willingly. He may come to accept that modern Thedas deserves to endure, but that doesn’t mean he can endure within it. 

Discussions about Solas often call for nuance, to think in terms of grey rather than black and white, yet many still judge his actions in absolute terms - either as wholly justified or entirely unforgivable. In reality, his choices and actions exist in complication and complexity. Along with our own biases.

[majaloveschris]

Everyone says it's PR because he's never picked someone like this before but when you are in love you can't really control who you fall in love with. Not to say it's real but your past doesn't always predict your future.

Yeah, but it's not this black and white. It's not like he's always been into blondes, and now he dates someone with brown hair. And it's not even about her age and that he's always dated people around his. It's about much more complicated and serious things. Why would he be okay with someone who has values like her and her friends? And I don't care if Alba has never quoted Hitler like Kiko or fat-shamed someone like Justin. She's been hanging out with those people for years at this point, so she is more than okay with them being like that. Or do we really think Justin doesn't make fun of people on a daily basis? Don't even start with when he posted literal kids in their swimwear. They aren't good people, and I don't remember Chris ever making comments like these. I'm not saying his previous partners were saints, but Alba and her friends are on a different level. I'm sorry, but if he actually is in love with her, he is okay with those values as well, just like Alba. That's the actual problem; that (and their weird behavior) is why a lot of people can't actually believe they are together for real. Because the Chris we've seen in the past 20+ years would never. And this wouldn't be just a small change, and you aren't just becoming okay with these things overnight. We could say they could've changed, but does it seem like it? I wouldn't say so.

So I see your point, and maybe if it were about something minor, I could agree, but this way, I can't.