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#I think both people had real not fabricated feelings for each other
irishskeptic · 5 months
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I saw a post I can’t find anymore a while ago by @thebigqueer where she said that she thought Piper had real feelings for Jason, and not Compulsory Heterosexuality/ mind manipulation by Hera, and to be deathly honest, I agree.
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yueebby · 1 year
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how i met your mother  — gojo satoru
contents. fluff, meet ugly, established relationship, highschool!gojo in flashback, gojo just loves his wife and everyone is sick of it
notes. this is apart of my indulge me series but everything can be read as a standalone!
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“you forgot to give me a kiss this morning,” your husband pouts from your lap before puckering his lips out, “i’ll need a thousand more to compensate!” 
just a couple meters away from you, paper crinkles harshly as nanami, your fellow colleague, flips the page on the newspaper he’s reading. you hear a heavy sigh leave his lips.  “i missed it when you both hated each other,” he readjusts his glasses with one hand tiredly. he’s disappointed, but not surprised with satoru’s behavior.
this comment causes itadori, who happened to be hanging out in the teacher’s lounge to perk up.
“gojo-sensei and gojo-san hated each other?” he sits up straight on the couch. the pink haired boy looks between you and satoru, who is purring happily as you play with his hair. “i can’t imagine that..” he mumbles quietly. he was, unfortunately, a first hand witness of gojo’s love for you.
the white haired male that was comfortably nestled in your lap looks up at you, “ah! she tried so hard to resist my charms, but this handsome face won in the end!” his loud boast leads you to cover his mouth with the palm of your hand.
“that couldn’t be farther from the truth,” you press your palm harder against his mouth, determined to silence his protests. 
nanami easily ignores his senior’s muffled whines while itadori looks at his sensei in pity. marriage must be tough, he thinks.
you only lift your hand off of his mouth with a shriek when satoru decides to lick your palm. he smirks proudly at himself causing the other two males in the room to grimace at the strange display of affection. 
“darling, you hated me?” his eyes blink up at you innocently, blue eyes on full display. you purse your lips together, resisting whatever game he was playing at. from the moment you stepped into the lounge with him, he insisted on taking his blindfold off. he argues that he has to see you with his own eyes or he’ll die. you argue that he’s dramatic. nonetheless, satoru was cute so you’ll let him get away with it. 
“hate is a strong word– i just didn’t like you very much. we got off on the wrong foot, might i remind you.” 
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2005 — year one at tokyo jujutsu tech
meet at 1 chome-1-1 dogenzaka, shibuya city, tokyo
that was written in the letter addressed to you from yaga. the bustling streets of tokyo, filled with the cacophony of hundreds of conversations and the rush of oncoming traffic, were a stark contrast to the serene country life you had enjoyed. 
the sheer mass of people in the street made it nearly impossible for you to spot your teacher and future classmates, but the heavens above must be on your side because you spot a dark uniform in the corner of your eye, similar to the one you’re wearing.
a jujutsu tech uniform! without wasting a second, you weave your way through the crowd to the tall figure. upon closer inspection, you find that it was a boy with snow hair, a juxtaposition to the dark fabric of his uniform.
“excuse me, but are you by any chance from–” you tap on the abnormally tall frame from behind.
“not interested.” he doesn’t spare you a glance before walking away. it takes you a minute to process what had just happened. did he just–? that must have been a figment of your imagination. you feel as though you were shell shocked.
another voice joins the conversation, “oh, gojo, you found her.” it was another guy with a uniform just like the white haired boy and yours. he has notable bangs, you think. 
“did i? she must be a real weakling. i couldn’t even sense her cursed energy,” gojo now turns back to look at you.
a surge of irritation courses through you, your grip on your skirt tightening. this guy must be some spoiled brat that came from a special lineage. you shoot him a sharp glare from the corner of your eyes, only to find out that he too had a sharp gaze on you.
a low whistle comes out of his mouth. 
 “oh,” there is a noticeable change in the tone of his voice. from your peripheral vision, you notice him take off his round sunglasses. “hey.”  you want to laugh.
out of pure pettiness, you recycle his previous comment, “not interested.”
thankfully, another student arrived, this time it was a girl with short brown hair. she waved at you politely, to which you happily smiled. it was nice to know that there were some people left in this world with manners.
soon after her arrival, yaga comes.
“hello, i’m [last name] [first name] from kyoto. please take care of me!” you bow before everyone but gojo or whatever his name is. you come to find out that mr. bangs is actually geto and the pretty girl is ieiri.
“you didn’t tell me she was hot,” gojo not-so-quietly whispers to geto. the hand over his mouth is in vain because you can still hear him clearly. both ieiri and geto make a distasteful face. 
you look around confused. it’s not everyday you receive such a brash compliment, “...thank you?” 
there’s a slightly horrified look on gojo’s face when he realizes that you had heard him, but he recovers quickly, replacing it with a cheshire grin.
“say, have you been to shinjuku? i’m sure a country bumpkin like you wouldn’t know, so allow me to–” 
there’s only so much patience in your body. with a deep breath and your best passive aggressive smile, you utter, “no thanks.” 
he blinks. once. twice. you assume he is not used to rejection with the way he has yet to process it. 
a soft chuckle leaves his mouth, “playing hard to get, i see. i like a challenge.”
“that’s not really the case.”
“one date,” he announces with a playful smirk, raising a single finger in emphasis.
you’re on the verge of shaking your head in rejection, but before you can, yaga intervenes, swiftly and unceremoniously slapping the back of gojo’s head.
“kids these days,” he mutters under his breath while gojo rubs the wound painfully. you snicker.
gojo straightens up when the sound of your laughs reaches his ears. his eyes track the sound waves back to your face, only to be disappointed when he sees that your attention is on geto. 
unlike gojo, geto was trying to salvage what was left of a good first impression. the black haired male smiles awkwardly, leading you away from his strange friend, “so you’re from kyoto? why didn’t you attend the jujutsu tech there?”
from behind you, there’s an incredulous, “eh? and lose a beauty like that to the kyoto guys?” 
you’re nearly certain that a blood vessel is about to pop. but you swallow your frustration, choosing to answer the only sensible boy you’ve met today.
“i’m trying to avoid clan matters, so kyoto is the last place i want to be,” you explain to geto who nods understandingly. 
what you don’t see is the sneaky wink he sends back at a fuming satoru.
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2018 — present day
your recollection must not have been accurate, because your husband is sulking by the end of your story. 
“hmph. that’s not how i remember it.” he crosses his arm with a huff.
“how do you remember it? do tell.” you look down at him. there’s a cheeky glint in his eyes, like you’ve just walked into his trap.
there’s a cheeky glint in his eyes, like you’ve just walked into his trap. “i remembered cherry blossoms falling and more hearts floating around,”
you smack his shoulder.
“be serious!”
he waves his hand in the air to stop your playful attacks, “fine, fine!” 
you know that he’s secretly enjoying the attention.
“well, i’m quite the looker so it was common for girls to constantly gush over me y’know?” he grins. you did not find that amusing, retracting your hands from his hair. he immediately grabs your hand and places it back on his head.
“let me finish!”
you resume your handiwork on his head reluctantly. “go on.”
there’s a content smile on his face, “i thought you were just trying to hit on me! it was only after i took a good look at you, i realized that you were totally hot.”
“i can’t believe i married you.” you roll your eyes, but there is no malice behind the action.
“hah–” his mouth is wide open. “i’m a total catch, ya’ know?!” 
“mhm, yeah. you are a catch toru,” you coo while pinching his cheek and he blushed furiously. 
the two of you are too engrossed with each other to notice the horrified look that has settled on nanami’s face. one peaceful afternoon, he thinks. one peaceful afternoon is all he asks for.
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extra notes- 
yuji respects gojo as his teacher, but he still can’t believe that gojo was able to pull you.
there have been multiple occasions where you had forgotten to give satoru a goodmorning kiss, each time he finds you and forces you to actually give him a dozen to compensate. it doesn’t matter if he was on a mission or teaching (he’s annoying like that).
gojo’s the pride of the gojo clan so he was spoiled rotten, hence the reason why he was so sure you were into him.
this is only the start, as your high school years go by, he only falls harder.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.
it is harder.
it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.
it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?
it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister
on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving
it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.
i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.
it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.
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cougheemedicine · 2 months
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Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Jing Yuan x GN!Reader
Word count: 2463
Warnings: Nudity, suggestive but nothing explicit (they bathe together), drinking (drink responsively kids), no beta we just die, the impending wrath of Fu Xuan, ooc? I've never written him before, I think that's it?
Content: Fluff, some angst right at the end but all is resolved, established relationship, Reader is a long-living species, Reader is shorter than Jing Yuan, other characters mentioned, they're whipped your honor
Summary: Due to your position in the Xianzhou Luofu's sky-faring commission, you are rarely home. Often gone for months at a time. Your dear husband never copes well with your time apart. He always makes sure to make up for lost time.
˜”*°•.•°*”˜
   The ground under your feet slipped away before you knew it. So this is how it ends, this is how you die. Not the worst death one could have, you supposed.
       “General-“ A dying wheeze escapes you, “General, I can’t breathe.”
       Met only with a huff that sounded more annoyed than agreeing, the crushing weight on your ribcage lessens. If only slightly. Not enough for your feet to touch the ground, but enough for you to wiggle your arms out from where they were pinned to your sides, wrapping them around your husband’s shoulders.
       “I’ve missed you,” Low and hoarse, the deep baritone of Jing Yuan’s voice sends a shiver down your spine. You sigh, relenting to your husband’s affections. It had been months since you’d seen each other last. As the fleet-master of the Luofu’s sky-faring commission, one of your most important duties was to craft interstellar maps for all of the Luofu to use. The only way to do that was to go on the missions yourself, which could last between six to nine months.
       For the long-living Xhianzhou natives, nine months passed in the blink of an eye. For your beloved, equally as long-living husband? Nine months was torturous. The man laid his head on your shoulder, inhaling deeply. You debated on whether you should drag him back to work to avoid the wrath of Lady Fu Xuan on your doorstep in an hour’s time, or repent and simply bask in the presence of your man. Who was real and tangible, embracing you instead of hushed words through a disembodied voice on the other side of your phone, or a pixelated figure sitting bored at a meeting you had to attend via a live hologram.
       As his hand slowly rubbed up and down your back, his other hand supporting you while you still dangled in the air. You found the decision easy to make. You craned your head, pressing your lips to his hairline, right above his ear. “I’ve missed you too, my love,”
       But, there was one thing amiss. Even as you felt Jing Yuan smile against the fabric of your shirt. You could also feel the eyes on your back. Both of your crew, and of Luofu citizens. None of the gazes malicious, just a bit invasive. You could also hear the whispers. The giggling and gossiping.
‘The general’s gone soft,’
’Aw, how sweet!’
’How adorable…’
       “People are watching, general,” You spoke up, raising a hand to run through the hair that escaped his ponytail, tightening your hold on the back of his neck to keep yourself up. Jing Yuan sighed contently, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Let them,”
       “General, I’d like to bathe, and get out of this armor,” You tugged lightly at his hair, pulling his head from your shoulder so you could look him in the eyes. Any normal person would’ve seen no difference in Jing Yuan’s face, but you were far from normal. After centuries of marriage, you could tell. The curve of his brow, and the pull of his frown. “Stop pouting, general,”
       He rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. That tired, easy smile of his. He set you back on the ground, arms wrapped loosely around your waist. “Stop calling me general, then I’ll let you go,”
       Despite his words, he still let you go. Stepping to your right and linking his arm with yours. You shared a smile as you walked, leaving the port. “Whatever you say, Jing Yuan.”
˜”*°•.•°*”˜
        The sound that leaves your mouth as you sink into the steaming bath water would make even the most stone-faced of war veterans blush. You were never more grateful for the sheer lavishness of the general's residence than when you just return from a mission. The bath of the general's home was better described as a pool. Set in the tile floor, and large enough to fit ten people. The large window on the far wall overlooked the Luofu, saying the whole experience was lavish would be an understatement.
        The feel of tar running in your veins instead of blood finally subsiding as the salts and oils in the water sunk into your skin. You rest your arms on the edge of the bath, letting your head lull onto the tile behind you. You don't focus much on anything, eyes scanning the traditional Xianzhou architecture of the bathroom, and letting your limbs, heavy with fatigue, float weightless in the water.
        "Enjoying yourself, dear?"  Jing Yuan's voice brings you back from your trance, eyes bleary as his feet come into view. You slowly lift your gaze, shamelessly eyeing your husband in a thin robe that was far from befitting a general. He's holding a small, porcelain cup in each hand, intricately decorated, with a bottle of wine under his arm. Oh, how you've missed this. "Very much. Even more so now,"
        "I heard from your co-pilot that you had trouble with some rogue asteroids on your way back to the Luofu," He hums as he sets down the cups and bottle a small ways away from your head, settling behind you with a washcloth.
        You groan "Ugh, I don't want to talk about it. If it weren't for my navigators we wouldn't of been able to come back unscathed,"
        Jing Yuan coaxes you to lean forward, and you let out a rather undignified yelp when the cold soap on the washcloth touches your back. Jing Yuan laughs. you flick water at him.
        "I commend your navigator's skills. They seem very talented," Jing Yuan lathers the soap as he speaks, taking the washcloth across your shoulders and down your back. He then gently takes your right hand, running the washcloth down the length of your arm.
        "Of course they are, I taught them." Jest laces your tone, even as you submerge yourself to the neck to rid yourself of the suds. As you finish, you lay your head on Jing Yuan's crossed legs. Jing Yuan smiles softly, emotion swirling in the single eye you could see. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours. When he pulls back, the washcloth long forgotten, he runs his thumb across your cheekbone, then down the bridge of your nose, and over the curve of your lips. You've long since closed your eyes, a smile pulling at your lips. "Join me?"
        Jing Yuan is silent for a beat, and you lift your head once more. "Your wish is my command."
        Jing Yuan stands, and you watch him walk to the stool you had set your own robe on. You watch him fiddle with the knot at his hip, then slowly shrug off one side of the robe, then the other. Making sure to stretch his arms above his head, allowing you the pleasure of seeing the entire expanse of his back and arms. You can sense the smile playing on his lips, and you know he can sense your staring. He's teasing you. You avert your eyes the moment his robe drops to the floor. 
       You feel him slip into the water beside you, letting out a groan very much like the one you had earlier. He smiles at you, his hand creeping up to the side of your head, guiding it down to rest on his shoulder. The two of you sit in silence a while, simply enjoying each other's presence. Months ago, silence meant sitting alone, in the cramped captain's quarters of your starskiff, charting maps and scribbling reports to send back home. Silence meant nights that seemed endless, hunched over your work, and being far, far away from home. Silence that was so loud you had wished so very hard for moments like this to happen more often. 
        Jing Yuan shifts under your head, offering you one of the cups he had brought in. Wordlessly, you take it, allowing him to pour the wine into your cup, then into his own. "Tell me," You pipe up, swirling the cup under your nose. The scent was light, you watch as he takes a sip "When was the last time we've shared a bottle like this?"
        "I can't say I recall. You're very cruel you know, keeping me waiting so long to repeat moments like this," Jing Yuan downs the rest of the contents of his cup, resuming his previous position at your side. "Fleet Master." 
        "Excuse you, we were right on schedule. Even after the whole event with the asteroids," You grin, playing with the fingers on Jing Yuan's free hand. "General-"
        Jing Yuan surges forward, before you even have half a mind to process, slotting his lips against yours. You hum, his lips taste of wine, and the scent of his shampoo roles off him in waves. One arm slung lazily around your back, the other keeping his cup above the water, he parts from your lips with a gasp, dipping his head to pepper kisses down your jaw and neck. You manage to suck in a breath right as he lifts his head again, mashing your lips together clumsily. Desperately. If you didn't know your husband better, you'd think him drunk. With how careless he was being. The sound of his porcelain cup clattering onto the tile beside you ringing sharp in your ear only proving your thoughts.
        His grip on you tightens, bringing his other hand up to push you even closer together, you throw your arms around his neck to stable yourself. You can feel every dip and contour of his body against yours, the callouses on his hand sliding up your back to between your shoulder blades as he brings you oh so much closer, his loose hair tickling your face when he hunches forward. Kissing you even harder.
        You're the one to pull away. Or perhaps it was him? You don't really have it in you to care.
        The both of you are panting like dogs. You let your arms around his neck go slack, and his hands drop from your back to your hips.
        It's silent again, only your breathing filling the room. Without really thinking, you raise a hand, cupping your husband's cheek. Immediately he leans into your touch, covering your hand with his own and pressing a flurry of kisses to your palm. His face is flushed, pink from his cheeks to his ears, and his lips bruised. Truly a sight for your sore eyes.
        You peck Jing Yuan's cheek, the one you aren't holding, laughing quietly against his skin. He joins you, a deep chuckle that always brought a pleasant warmth to your chest. It was rare for Jing Yuan to laugh to heartily, even rarer for you to even be present to hear it. You don't think you'll ever tire of the sound. He presses his lips to your temple. "I think we better leave before we become prunes,"
        "Always so wise, my dear,"
˜”*°•.•°*”˜
       “Jing Yuan, I can’t walk with you both leaning on me,” You whine. Jing Yuan groans, leaning more of his weight onto you. His grip on the front of your night shirt tightens, wrinkling the light fabric as Mimi curls around your legs, head butting your thigh. A chuffing sound leaves the lion, as if she were laughing at you. Jing Yuan rests his chin on your shoulder, cheeks still pink from the heat of the bath.
        “Don’t be mean, she’s missed you,” He lightens his iron grip on you, running a hand through the fur on Mimi's back. You smell opportunity. You worm your way out of your husband's arms, as warm and comfortable as they are, you still need to walk. Narrowly dodging his hand, fully intent on tugging you right back, you stride on down the corridor. You needn't look back to see Jing Yuan huff and cross his arms, dragging his feet as he follows you.
        The moment you close the sliding door to your shared chambers, you're shoved onto the unnecessarily large bed. Jing Yuan crawls over you as you shuffle up to the pillows. He straddles you, a leg on each side of your torso, keeping you down with a hand on your shoulder. As you settle your hands on his hips, you feel the bed dip once more. From around Jing Yuan, you watch as Mimi sprawls out over the entire foot of the bed. A hand on your chin guides your eyes back to your husband's face. He leans down, kissing you gently. Your hands travel, from his hips to his waist, then up his chest and over his shoulders. You settle your hands in his hair, running your nails over his scalp. Sliding a hand down his nape to his shoulders, you gently push him down, letting him put all his weight on you.
        "This isn't uncomfortable, is it?" Jing Yuan lowly asks, barely above a whisper. He's already shifting his legs, leaving only his chest resting on yours. Always attentive, your Jing Yuan.
        "No love, it's perfectly fine," You sigh, continuing to card your fingers through his hair.
        Jing Yuan hums, pecking your forehead then the tip of your nose. He lowers himself till his head is cushioned by your chest, pressing another kiss to your collar bone before settling down right above your heart, curling his arms around your ribs.
        Mimi huffs, and you hear her breathing become slow. You've certainly missed this. You can feel Mimi's tail sway against your calf in her sleep, and Jing Yuan tightens his grip around you, you can feel his every breath against the thin fabric of your shirt. You continue scratching at his scalp. "Jing Yuan?"
        You hear him mumble something, he throws a leg over yours.
        "I'm sorry I'm away so often," It stings. Whenever you leave. The silent nights holed away in your office, or piloting your vessel. The homesickness eating at you the minute you leave port. Sometimes you can't help but think that having someone so dear be so far away takes a toll that isn't worth the pay off.
        "Distance makes the heart grow fonder, my love," Jing Yuan replies, muffled by the fabric of your shirt, and slurred by exhaustion.
        On second thought. Maybe having someone tying you to your home was a good thing. Who knows if you'd ever return from the stars if someone wasn't waiting at home. Speaking of home...
        "Jing Yuan, how did you convince Qingzu and Lady Fu to leave you be for so long?"
        The man stiffens in your hold.
        "Jing Yuan!"
˜”*°•.•°*”˜
work belongs to @cougheemedicine, all forms of plagiarism, modifying, translating, reposting are not allowed.
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randomfoggytiger · 3 months
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The Evolution of Gillian Anderson's Friendship with David Duchovny
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Early friendship:
He was an experienced actor when they started The X Files, she had been receiving unemployment benefit and had been in front of cameras only once before.
And she admits: "I desperately needed someone to show me the ropes and David did. He was wonderful."
There were rumours of a secret romance, which would have got them both fired on the spot. It is a strict studio rule that there will be no intimacy between the stars - off screen as well as on.
But Gillian did find love on The X Files, in the shape of assistant art director Clyde Klotz. And she did turn to Duchovny for advice after acting spontaneously on her wedding night, taking no precautions and finding herself pregnant.
She was horrified, believing she would get herself fired and ruin her career.
[“I went into his trailer,” she recalls, “and I said, ‘David, I’m pregnant.’ It looked like his knees buckled.... And he asked me if it was a good thing. I said, ‘Yeah, it is.’]
But her co-star, who was the only person she confided in apart from her husband, put Gillian's mind at ease.
He advised her not to have an abortion - that things would work out. And they did.
He kept her secret while Gillian thought things over for a month.
1995:
David Duchovny is not happy.....
Anderson, sensing Duchovny’s mood, looks down at his hand on her left shoulder and tries to brush it away, as if it were a mosquito. Then she turns and jumps into his arms, laughing, looking like a little girl making trouble for a protective older brother. Startled to be holding her, the smile on Duchovny’s face is forced no longer.
...“We really trust each other,” Duchovny says simply.
There is, between these two, a real-life camaraderie born of necessity, a friendship strong enough to survive too many work hours, and a chemistry powerful enough to rearrange the atoms on-screen. “Whenever we’re acting together,” says Anderson, “it’s there.”
1997:
But in real life, Duchovny and Anderson have a relationship as much a conundrum to outsiders as any X-File.
“We have a relationship that is completely odd and fabricated,” Duchovny says. “We’ve been thrown together, two people who don’t know each other, and we’ve been forced to spend more time together than married people do. So you can’t describe our relationship as ‘like’ or ‘dislike.’ ”
Sounds a little frosty.
“It is frosty,” Gillian Anderson agrees when she is read Duchovny’s description of their relationship. “But it’s accurate.” She laughs. “It’s not that we don’t like each other. It’s complicated.”
2008:
Question: Can you talk about getting back into these characters after a five or six year period?
David Duchovny: The first two weeks I felt a little awkward and I didn’t really feel like I wanted to do longer scenes. I was just fine running around. Then as soon as Gillian and I started working and it was Mulder and Scully, then I kind of remembered what it was all about and that relationship kind of anchored my performance just as I think the relationship anchors this film.
Shock: What’s that like with David now that you’re not with each other 16 hours a day on a series?
Anderson: It’s great, but it was great then, too. This is like a sibling relationship and I never had siblings.
What is your favourite thing about each other?
Duchovny: Gillian just doesn't give up.... She'll hang in there 'til we get it right.
Anderson: ...The easiest answer, I guess, is his sense of humour. He's always looking at the funny side of things, especially when he's around other actors who are comedians or funny themselves - it can turn into a bit of a contest to see who does the best impressions and such. But aside from that, there's a gentleness inside him that comes out every once in a while that is quite disarming and lovely. It's rare, but very nice.
2014:
Q: Was there a sense of almost a bunker mentality where you were at least going through this process with David? You mentioned he had more experience, he had done some bigger films but still the phenomenon that emerged within the first couple years was pretty remarkable. Did it help to have him there too and kind of like “Are you getting this too? Are you going through this too? Is this weird?” 
A: No. No, not really. We talk about the fact that it’s crazy that we didn’t. And that we didn’t take advantage of the fact that we had each other but it was complicated. These were long hours that we were working. We spent more time in each other’s presence than we did with our, you know, spouses and children, etc.
But also, you know, I think we p***ed each other off, quite frankly. And I have no doubt that after they’re waiting – we’re gonna roll and somebody has to come in and redo my lips and the difference between the maintenance for guys and gals and we’re shooting in all weather – you know, we never shut down except for one day for weather in the entire show.  We were shooting up in Vancouver through rain, sleet, everything. And my hair would frizz up to here in between takes and they’d have to get the blow dryer out under the tent and we’d be waiting for Gillian’s hair to do another take. You know, that p***es you right off. It adds up. So I, you know, I’m sure there were plenty of things he did that p***ed me off too. It just wasn’t, you know, but on the other hand.. NOW, we get to talk about that and we’re probably closer than we’ve ever been. 
2015:
Not surprisingly, she and Duchovny also became the story – according to the press, they were having an affair, hated each other or both. “I mean, yes, there were definitely periods when we hated each other.” She starts again. “Hate is too strong a word. We didn’t talk for long periods of time. It was intense, and we were both pains... for the other at various times.”
How was Duchovny a pain... for her? “Erm ...” Ten seconds pass without a word. Meanwhile, her smile gets wider and wider till it’s halfway up her cheeks. “I’m not going to get into it. I’m not even going to begin to get into that. But we are closer today than we ever have been.”
2016:
Anderson on working with Duchovny “Our relationship has definitely become a proper friendship over the last few years. I think we’re more on each other’s side. We’re more aware of the other’s needs, wants, concerns, and mindful to take those into consideration— and just sharing more about our experiences in the moment, under the sudden realization that we’re both in this together, and wouldn’t it be nice if it were a collaboration?”
2018:
They've worked together for 25 years but Gillian Anderson wants to make one thing clear: David Duchovny does NOT feature in her Ex Files.
While on screen their relationship left viewers wondering whether they would ever hook up romantically, Gillian says that off camera they were never very close.
In fact, she goes so far as to admit: "I don't know much about David Duchovny. If you asked me 10 things about him I'd probably get nine of them wrong."
...But now Gillian sets the record straight, saying: "We were never close. It's true we spent more time together than we have in any other relationship but it doesn't mean we were close.
"Very often when you're working long hours you may have a chit-chat between scenes but you're not really standing around talking about personal lives.
"And very often you don't have meals either at work or outside of work together because you're in each other's company all the time.
"So I actually don't know very much about David Duchovny, but we appreciate and respect each other."
2021:
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Stella made a new friend today.
2023:
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A huge congratulations to my old friend @davidduchovny on the world premiere of his film Bucky F***ing Dent @tribeca which he wrote, directed and stars in! A massive accomplishment and can’t wait to see it. (ps I’d say some of your prior writer / director gigs with me went pretty well and this was all just yesterday, right? 😉) #Tribeca2023
2024:
Awww Double D I’m so sorry. He was your guy. RIP Brick Duchovny
Lastly but not least,
a comment from David, 2024:
"My former X-Files costar Gillian Anderson and I are really good friends. ...When you share a seminal kind of experience in your life-- the huge success we had with that show-- only we know what it's like to be in the center of that. It's almost like being in the same family...."
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incandescentflower · 14 days
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It's interesting because it seems like most people read Tyme as having a more significant connection to Great than I did. Yes, he clearly regrets being a huge asshole to someone he had a nice interaction with as a kid, but that's because he is now on his death bed. I buy that Tyme felt badly about using Great initially, but I think he would still have done it again as a means to his own ends if something so terrible hadn't happened to Great. It feels like regret on a simply human-level as he fully understands how low he had sunk based on his singular focus of revenge.
I am still interested to see what the drama will show in Tyme's four minutes, in terms of what he would redo and what connection he'd want with Great in that circumstance. I think the drama is going to say he does want that romance, but I'm not sure it makes sense based on the narrative so far.
This definitely feels like the "they knew each other as kids" trope to short cut a stronger connection than they have shown on screen. By my count it seems like they have had three real significant interactions in their lives in total, which is not enough for me to feel like they truly know or understand each other.
But I would find it interesting if that was actually the point. If Tyme does the same thing Great did with in his four minutes - Tyme idealizing who Great would be if Tyme's actions were different and that in turn changing Tyme - I would find that to be a compelling narrative, as long as the drama was clear that both those scenarios are complete and utter fabrications. Allowing that to be real doesn't feel earned to me at this point.
And there would be something poetic and beautiful about them both putting all their hope and optimism into the way the other person could have helped them be a better person in a different scenario, despite us all knowing that from what we've seen of both of them on screen that wasn't ever going to happen.
The fantasy that each of them wished the other one could have "saved" them, but they both would have had to have been different already for that to happen.
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uzurimisery · 9 months
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chapter 6: the fold. / coriolanus snow / nsfw
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Rating: Explicit
WC: 5k
Warnings: MDNI, he's still insane and possessive, he's not a good guy but he's hot, not beta read
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The time between then and the engagement party had felt short, going by too quickly, a whirlwind passing through you. It would be wrong to say you weren’t nervous, the sensation gripped you holding you close. Even if you did believe Coriolanus was sincere in his desire to be allies trusting him was another matter. Alliances were often forged with hidden motives.
You had seen firsthand the ruthless ambition that drove people to betray their allies, you had done the same, sacrificing presumed loyalty for personal gain. Trust was but a fragile illusion that could shatter in the blink of an eye. A fact made all the more apparent by your illusory relationship with him.
Despite the reservations, you were drawn to him. His ruthless and cunning nature mirrors your own, and there was no denying the sexual attraction between you both. But as the day of the engagement party loomed, the agitation never ceased.
You were about to take a leap of faith, place your life, your very future, and marry a man who had once been an annoyance to you. Yes, you had brought him back to the Capitol, but he had been more annoying than you thought. There was some hope, however. Coriolanus had recognised your strength, your potential, and he had been the one to extend the hand of allyship. Besides, as long as one of your parents lived he be hard-pressed to betray you.
A pin prinked at your side.
“Sorry! Sorry.” Tigris exclaimed as she rushed to soothe the wound. Her hands were cold against your skin.
“It’s alright. Hardly imagine it was intentional.”
“Of course not.” She was quick to get back to work, doing up the final adjustment stitch to ensure your dress fit perfectly.
It was simpler than Tigris had wanted it to be, insisting that your engagement party dress should be grand. You were able to convince her to focus on the wedding dress instead, which you were grateful for. Tonight could be simple, less caught up in the extravagant happenings of the Capitol. So your dress was simple. White silver chain mesh with a nude underdress and a solid white cape.
As she backed away she spoke again. “Are you nervous?”
“A little,” you admit, gently passing your hands over the soft fabric of the cap. Despite the simplicity, it was elegant. Slightly understated, but it suited you.
Her eyes were lit with concern. “Don’t be,” she was reassuring, voice laced with genuine warmth. “You look amazing.”
Looking great and feeling great were different things. Tonight, you weren’t sure if you’d be feeling great.
“Thank you Tirgirs,” your voice was thick with emotion. “One less thing to worry about.”
“Are you worried about him?” She was quick to pick up on your actual concern. Coriolanus Snow.
You steeled your gaze in the mirror and straightened your shoulders, trying to regain composure. “How could I not be?”
“He cares for you…” she trailed off. “At least I think he does. He’s different with you. More like the boy I grew up with and less, well, like he is now.”
You studied your reflection, searching for any sign of turmoil within. Your hair was in order, your makeup flawless, and your dress impeccably tailored. There was not a hint of emotion showing. Perhaps the shadow of the boy Tigris knew was the glimpses of warmth that you could feel from Coriolanus.
“I care for him as well.” The truth was easy, you did care for him.
Tigris paused. “That’s good then. The only thing worse than a political marriage is one where you hate each other,” her voice held a touch of sympathy.
Taking a deep breath, you turned away from the mirror. Speculation would be endless, but tonight you needed to focus on the present. Standing there trying to determine, or wish, that there was the chance for you and Coriolanus to have something real, reach your goals and build the lives you want, and have something real. The past year had been messy, with a constant fluctuation of feelings but between the lines moments had felt true. When the two of you were alone it felt real to you.
Despite his previous explanation, you refused to believe that the shock engagement had been calculated as he claimed. Somewhere inside him he cared for you, you knew it, relieved it like gospel. Faithful to the higher power of emotion, praying that it was true. That he was capable of loving you like you loved him.
“We moved past hate a long time ago.”
“That's good then.” Tigris paused for a moment, hesitating to ask the question, her eyes flicking over you. “Do you love him?”
“Love?” you echoed, voice breaking on the word.
“Yes, love,” she was persistent. “Do you love him?”
It was hard to love a man like Coriolanus Snow but you couldn’t say that you didn’t love him at this point. The months of closeness laid the ground for positive feelings, and at every turn, he surprised you. The soft touches, passionate kisses when you were alone, the unspoken emotions fogging up the air between the two of you-- they had fed the selfish desire within you to have Coriolanus to yourself. A need to have him by your side. Greedy passion clawing at your legs.
The model of love you had growing up was your parents. They weren’t a typical loving couple, unconventional in all manners, but they did love each other and worked as partners. Each picked up the slack where the other faltered. What you had with Coriolanus felt like that. The balancing act, the tipping of the scales.
There was a pause before you answered. “Does it matter?”
Your feelings towards him were inconsequential in the grand scheme. It’d be worse to have them thrown in your face and laughed at knowing that you would still be going through with the marriage for the sake of your ambition. Love and ambition were a dangerous mix.
“I think so,” Tigris was soft, hand smoothing out any wrinkles of your dress. “I’d like to think that you and I have become friends over the past year and… I’d like you to be happy. I saw what a loveless marriage did to my aunt and I don’t want the same for you.”
Her words broke you down, shattering the barriers you had up. She was always so gentle and caring, it felt like she had no ulterior motives whenever you spoke. There was one thing she wanted, and that was the best for everyone. Even Coriolanus even if she didn’t agree with his actions. Tigris was a kind and gentle soul, something so rare for the Captiol.
The truth bubbled over the surface, a moment of closeness so rarely felt. The feelings you had rationalized away, hiding them behind logic, spilling out. It hurt, like ripping off a bandage, stinging and sharp, exposing the wound.
“Must you have asked me this after my makeup was done?”You joked, trying to shake off the tears welling in your eyes.
“Sorry.”
You exhaled, breathy and burdened. “Love is a complicated feeling and a luxury I didn’t think I’d ever be able to afford. It’s hard to explain what I feel for him, I don’t even know if I understand the feeling myself. I know that I want him in my life, and the thought of him not being there, being someone I can depend on, makes me feel like I’m going crazy. He’s someone I know will always have my back as long as I have his.”
Tigris chewed on your words for a minute.
“So you do love him then?”
“If this is love, then yes I do.”
“Have you told him?”
“I can’t,” you stutter slightly. “It’d be risking everything over my feelings.”
“But do you think you can marry him without telling him? Go your entire life not telling him?”
You were terrified of that. Telling him was vulnerability and uncertainty, threading waters as the tide came in threatening to swallow you whole. Your feelings could cost you your ambition, your power, and at the furthest extreme, your life. But not telling him, marrying with this secret, was even more terrifying. Trapping yourself in a relationship with him where you could never truly voice your thoughts.
It was a cruel dilemma. The future you had always wanted, influence and control, and love. How could you risk everything for something so uncertain? How could you jeopardize everything for a man who might not even feel the same? But how could you wake up every day by his side, the feelings burning you, and expect to be fine?
“I’m afraid of what he’ll say, of what he’ll do, of losing him.”
“I know it’s easy for me to sit here and say you should tell him, but I think you should. If you do love him, you owe it to yourself to at least try.”
Her words held truth.
____________________________________
The grand ballroom of the Gaul estate was filled to the brim with the Capitol’s elite. The air seems alive with the hum of excitement, bouncing around the opulent decor, mingling with the clink of crystal glassware. Even the president, who had never been the same after the death of his son, looked to be enjoying himself. There had been no expense sparred for the engagement party, Coriolanus could only imagine what the actual wedding would cost. 
Surrounded by guests, Coriolanus found himself in the company of former Academy students. The conversation had been fine at the start, but the more that they drank to more it began to grate on him.
“You know I never thought you’d be the first to get married Coriolanus,” Apollo Ring hammered on. “I figured it’d be Florus.”
“Florus! I would have bet money on Io.” Domitia Whimsiwick chimed in.
Did they all have nothing better to do than bug him? The constant chatter, the forced camaraderie irritated him, like nails on a chalkboard they drug on and on. He knew that the party was about himself and you, but god did he hate having to put up with his former classmates. They thought themselves all to be friends, which included him in it. 
Of course, he engaged with them, laughing at their jokes and acting like he cared about the conversation. The whole like he was surveying the room, waiting for you so he could finally have an excuse to dismiss himself from the conversation. After 15 minutes or so, he finally saw you. 
Somehow, you had gotten more beautiful. It was a subtle shift in appearance, a change so small but it made you even more attractive.
Your hair was down, curling down your back, a change from your usual updos. Previously you told him they were “more practical” for working in the lab, but he did love it when your hair was down. He watched as you flitted from guest to guest, thanking them for coming with your signature red lipstick smile. 
A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, a genuine one, breaking through his front. 
“Apologies everyone,” Coriolanus placed a hand on his chest and gave a slight bow. “The future Mrs. Snow has arrived.” The group wished him well, a few jokes about him being whipped, and went back to talking amongst themselves as he left.
His heart pounded with a mix of excitement and nervousness. The closer he got to you the more the feeling of contentment, something he rarely if ever experienced, settled in his stomach. 
“You look stunning,” he spoke while wrapping an arm around your waist, kissing your forehead, conveying the tenderness he felt. Then with practise poise, he greeted the guest you were speaking to. “You should wear your hair down more.” 
You smiled up at him. “Why thank you, Mr. Snow,” if hearing your voice was the reward he got for suffering the others, he’d suffer a thousand lifetimes. “I was just speaking with Mrs. Thornton about how you’re such a charmer.”
“Guilty as charged,” Coriolanus laughed a bit while turning the conversation the the older woman. “How could I not try and charm her when she’s this beautiful?” 
“Oh, young love! I’ll leave you kids alone. Congratulations on your engagement.” 
Coriolanus wanted to snatch you up and take you away from here. This was the part of politics he hated the most. The show of it all. Unfortunately, he was obligated to remain here until the last guest exited the building. His arm tightened around your waist, fingers drumming against your side. 
“How long do you think this will take? I’ve had my fill of pleasantries and if I have to listen to Gaius speak again I might lose it.” His exasperation at events often entertained you.
Your laughter, a melody from the heavens, danced around the air, drowning out the ringing hum of conversation around you both. “Patience, Coriolanus. This whole thing is just for us, so probably be a while before it ends. It’s not like we can sneak away either.” 
“You’re the only reason I tolerate these events, you know,” he whispered in your ear, watching the shiver run down your spine as he did. “Otherwise I’d have no problem avoiding them.” 
“Well now, that doesn’t sound like a man who's excited to get married.” Your eyes met his own.
“To entertain over a hundred people at an engagement party? No, I’m not excited about that. But to get married to you? That’s another thing altogether.”
There was sincerity in his words. As much as he hated the required socialising, he was excited to marry you, to finally have a visible form of ownership of you. The prospect of sharing life with you added to that. He could taste the future on his tongue. One filled with you, laughter, and love. One where the two of you sat upon a gilded throne and ruled over Panem together. 
“Are you excited then? To marry me?” 
Warmth blossomed in his chest as Coriolanus gazed into your eyes. You were letting him see through the cracks and into your anxiety about the situation. You were still worried that he regretted the choice.
“Of course, I’m excited to marry you,” he admitted, voice soft and sincere, twinged with longing. “Who else can I trust to take over Panem with besides you?” 
There was something in your eyes he couldn’t read, a flicker so quick he almost missed it. Something was wrong. 
“First we have to endure this engagement party, don’t we?” you replied, cutting the conversation, while moving the two of you to continue flitting around the room and greeting guests.
It drug on for some time before finally everyone had been ushered into the gardens and the ballroom transformed into a dining experience. Coriolanus was glad, it meant there only be a few more hours until he was finally free from the party. 
The ballroom had been completely transformed in just 15 minutes by the staff. Where there had been ample room for dancing, was now tables filled with placements and decor. The lighting had been lowered, with candles placed on the tables to better illuminate them, creating a romantic and intimate space. He had to admire the efficiency of your family’s staff as another team of them began leading guests to their assigned seats one by one. He, of course, would be at the table at the head of the room, next to yourself, and with both of your families. 
After all the guests had been seated, Mr. Gaul rose and tapped against his champagne flute with a knife. He was well-dressed as usual, this time donning a black suit with white embroidery around the lapels. It was interesting that despite Dr. Gaul’s more prominent status, your father took over the majority of the public-facing events. Acting as her mouthpiece at a lot of them. 
“Welcome, welcome everyone,” he boomed as a hush fell over the room.“I want to thank you all for joining us here tonight in celebration of what is bound to be the most influential wedding the Capitol will see this generation. And I’m not just saying that because it’s my daughter,” he spoke with a sly smile, making the guests chuckle. 
Mr. Gaul paused, taking a sip of champagne, his eyes lingering on Coriolanus.
“Like any father, I had doubts on if Mr. Snow would be good enough to marry my daughter, but my doubts have been laid to rest. I’ve been lucky enough in my life to see love in all sorts of forms, and am glad to see the love shared between him and my daughter.” Coriolanus nodded at him, giving your hand a squeeze on top of the table where they were joined. 
“Before I talk your ears off, my wife has a few things to say.” As your father sat, Dr. Gaul rose. 
“Thank you all again for joining us this evening,” her sing-song tone echoed over the silence. “It truly is remarkable to witness the union between Gaul and Snow, two strong and powerful families coming together not for the sake of Panem, but for the sake of love.” Dr. Gaul's arms were wide as she faced the guests. 
“With their love, I have no doubt this union will create a new era of prosperity and power for Panem,” she continued, resonating with pride. “Coriolanus, my sweet Y/N, you are the future of this nation, and I am confident that your union will lead us into a brighter, more prosperous future.”
The room erupted in applause, whistles and cheerings cutting through. Coriolanus felt drawn closer to you at the moment, your hand in his sending a jolt of electricity across his skin and through his veins. The implications of your marriage were transparent. Once the two of you were wed, even now before that, it was clear that the future of Panem was dependent on the two of you. To the untrained eye it was a beacon of hope, a promise of prosperity, unknowing that Coriolanus and yourself were ruthless. You would rewrite the narrative of Panem, and transform it into something of your choosing. 
Beyond that, it was finally having you to himself. No more barrier between himself and access to you. It was a victory. His gross and sickly feelings of obsession, lust, and love, are being rewarded after months of wanting you. Your attention, your affection, your very being his. You were his prize, his trophy, his ultimate conquest and he’d place you on the highest throne beside his own. 
As the cheering died down, servants came in with trolleys full of food. The air filled with the scent of freshly baked bread, succulent meats, and vibrant exotic fruits. All just for the first course, as the guests began engaging in their own conversations, all of them sheep. 
He turned to you, voice low with anticipation, possession threatening to spill. “Soon all of this will be ours. Snow and Gaul leading the nation.”
You turned, facing him, big doe eyes peering up through your lashes. He wanted to make you cry again, watch the tears pool and trickle down your cheeks. It was neither the time nor the place, but he wanted to-- no needed to-- be inside you. He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. 
“Tonight,” his teeth nipped at the ridge. “We begin our reign. We will conquer Panem, and we will rule it with an iron first.” Coriolanus pulled away, moving to give you a chaste kiss. 
When he kissed you, you didn’t smile into it like you normally did. You were passive, emotionless, simply going through the motions of it. A wave of uncertainty washed over him. What had changed in the short hours he had been apart from you? Why were you suddenly pulling away from him? He wanted to press you about the issue but this wasn’t the time nor the place. 
For the rest of the meal, it was all Coriolanus could think about. Worry builds with every passing minute. The gentle warmth you brought into his life now felt passive, and that passivity unsettled him. Your interactions over the past week replaying in his mind, trying to isolate the moment when the shift occurred. It had to be after you had left his side to get ready tonight. You had gotten ready with Tigris, so she could be the cause, undermining him.
The more he thought about it, the more the problem escalated. What had Tigris said to you? Did something happen while you were getting ready? The questions echo in his skull, overtaking his thoughts. Had it been something he did? Did he say or act out of place? The fear of losing your affection, coupled with the uncertainty of the situation, weighs heavily on his shoulders.  
Maybe you had learned the truth: his feelings for you. You had figured out his feelings and were pulling away to avoid addressing them. He knew that there was a very real chance that you were burdened by that truth. Coriolanus grappled with the fact that his attempts at subtlety had failed, exposing him and making him vulnerable. The fear of rejection, his emotions being laid bare for you only to be met with rejection, making him nauseous. 
When the meal finally ended and guests filtered out, you were missing. You had been by his side most of the night and had only gotten up to see out guests, just like he had. But now you were missing. 
Coriolanus walked the estate looking for you and failing. It was like you had vanished. 
He nearly screamed when Dr. Gaul appeared out of nowhere, startling him. “Looking for something, Mr. Snow?” Her smile is wide and crazed. 
“Yes. I’m looking for Y/N.” 
“How unsurprising. She’s in the greenhouse, and likes the solitude after events.” Just as quickly as she had shown up, she started to leave. “Oh! Don’t forget my warning Mr. Snow.”
Coriolanus made his way to the greenhouse, driven by urgency and anxiety. If he could just explain things to you he could resolve the situation and ease his worries. As he entered the building, the smell of damp earth and flowers assaulted his nose, a stark contrast to the rest of the evening. 
There, amidst the foliage of a massive monstera, he found you seated on a stone bench, your shoulders shaking. You were crying. The sight of it stabbed his heart as he hesitated, unsure how to approach you. 
With a deep breath, he spoke, soft and slow, careful to startle you. “Y/N?” He watched you jump, rushing to swipe your eyes as he sat down next to you, your back stiffening.
“Sorry, just overwhelmed.” Your excuse was weak. 
“What’s wrong? You can talk to me.” Coriolanus was not a man who pleaded or begged, but he would be a beggar if it meant calming you. 
“Can I?” You looked so small in this moment, fearful like a child. 
“Of course you can.” 
Instead of soothing you, you only began to cry more. He felt so helpless watching your tears fall. His control and composure crumbled with every tear. The usual confidence he had waning. He wanted to understand the cause of your distress, understand why you had been so different tonight, but the answer felt further away than it did at the start. The need for answers was overshadowed by the need to make you stop crying. 
His hand grabbed your own, running his thumb over the top of it as he often did. “Y/N, I want to help. Please just tell me what’s wrong?” for you it felt normal to beg. 
He wants Coriolanus Snow in this moment, he was just a man, earnest and sincere, watching his lover cry and unable to comfort them. The weight of your sadness pressing against him. All he wanted was to find the right words, the right actions, the right anything, to bring you comfort and make you smile again. 
“I just need to know if this is real. If I’m safe with you. If you don’t view me as another stepping stone. Because I can’t stay here, keep doing this with you, if you don’t feel the same way. It’s eating me alive.” your body wracked with sobs. 
He could only watch. Coriolanus had never seen you so raw and exposed, your shoulders trembling. It was you letting him in, in every sense of the word. This is where he had to put himself on the line. Did he have enough courage to trust love one more time? To be this close? To let you see the most broken and paranoid parts of himself? To lose control?
This is what he had wanted. You broke down and begged him for the truth, your own feelings finally exposed for him. He had wanted you so overwhelmed with your own feelings that they damaged you the way his own did. But not that he got it, had you are your lowest, he hated it. Coriolanus hated seeing you cry because of him. 
The decision was agonising. Fear of failure, fear of being exposed, but more so, the fear of losing you. Sitting here, listening to your choked-up sobs, mascara beginning to stream, beautiful at your lowest. The silver gown that started the change in him.
He had played such a dangerous game; he lost to himself when he started seeing you as a person. You were supposed to be nothing to him, another pawn, a reason for your mother to further his trajectory. How was he supposed to know that you’d be so perfect for him? Your strengths cover his weaknesses and his yours. Genuine connection, not possession. A revelation.
He would starve if he only ever ate on Sundays. He would starve if only had you on Sundays.
With a trembling voice, Coriolanus spoke, a final confession of his own feelings, of his sins. “I only want this with you.” his hands held your face forcing you to lock eyes. His eyes are bare of any calculation and ambition, just the depth of his feelings for you. “I look for you, always, and in everything I see. You’re in the grass, in the trees, in the lab, in everything, you’re everything to me.”
The tears streamed down your face, and he wiped them away. He was crying now. They blurred his vision, but you shone through it all. He kisses you, soft and tender, before continuing. 
“I’m so incredibly flawed.” his voice was thick, the self-doubt that whispered in his ears at night leaking out. “I don’t deserve you, and I could never deserve you.” 
“You’re death and rebirth to me. My reason to forgive, to let someone in. And every time you leave my side it’s like the world around me dims, and nothing shines anymore. It gets harder to breathe.” 
You tore down his defences and stripped him of protection. 
“I told myself I’d never let someone in like this again, to make room in my heart to house your own,” speaking it out loud felt like ripping off a bandaid. 
“But I’ve never felt this way for someone before. You’ve changed me, altered me so deeply that there are parts of you that took over parts of me.”
You had changed him and made him feel compassion and empathy again. The dormant emotions he swore off now are reborn and only for you. Your being had seeped into every aspect of his own, forever informing him of you. At this moment, Coriolanus’ soul naked and in front of you, the final walls came crashing down. 
“I was just so scared to admit it, to give away my final card. To admit that it all has no meaning if you’re not there beside me and that I need you to make it matter. But it’s more than that. I was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way. I can never tell what you’re thinking, never control you like I can others, I just have to trust you.”
It hurt to expose himself. The kind of hurt that felt good. A cut on your hand that you can't stop picking at. A bruise that you prod. When you push yourself hard at the gym and wake up the next morning sore. The dull ache of injury, a reminder that through all the pain, all the suffering, you were still human. He was still human. 
“I love you, Y/N. I have for months.”
His voice trembled, the admission hanging in the damp air. He had never allowed himself to feel love like this before, to surrender so completely to another person. 
“I love you too,” the relief he felt was instant. “I’ve been trying to ignore it, focus on something--anything else. But I realised that I couldn’t marry you without telling you.” 
Coriolanus’ hands cupped your face and he kissed you. Deeply and wholly. His touch was tender, filled with the very depths of his feelings for you, the kind that words could only partially convey. It was more than just a kiss, it was your soul's entwining. The acknowledgement that both of you had toiled over something for so long. There was no urge to control the situation, only to be in the moment with you. 
As you kissed, the greenhouses faded. It was only the two of you, hearts beating in unison. The act dropped, the lines were forgotten, and the actors were just people. The politics were irrelevant. It was just the two of you, as it always should have been.
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@serrendiipty @namelesslosers @glitteryblizzardsalad @harrysbitvh123 @secretsicanthideanymore @ayyyeeeeidk @hinata7346 @kisstheskin @sumo-b98 @duds31 @mrsjobarnes @whorefortim @joonvrs @sabrinasbd @itsmeduckieee @dangelnleif
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happy-beeeps · 1 year
Text
To Build a Home
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WC: 4.2k
Pairing: din x reader
Synopsis: You’re on the hunt to make this house on Nevarro a home, but you’re wrestling with feelings of inadequacy in you and Din’s relationship after he adopts Grogu but doesn’t take you as his riduur. Fluffy, emotional hurt comfort, domesticity, slice of life, Din is a fisherman for 30 seconds.
Warnings: none really! Vaguely ooc Din but I think I got it back. Ever since that one episode of The Bad Batch I’ve just been dying to send Din fishing
A/N: HAPPY MAY THE 4TH!!!!
Fun fact, when I started this blog three years ago it was because the Mandalorian had just come out and people had only just started writing Din fic. I was in the trenches with the other mando fic pioneers. Technically this is the same reader as my first ever longfic “I don’t do droids” which I’ve semi abandoned BUT I do plan on making a better spin off version soon! It's not at all necessary to read that to understand the reader’s backstory though!
* * *
You’ve been to markets before. The familiar fast paced environment had always been something of a vice to you when you traveled with Din, the reprieve from being crammed on the crest or a short expedition for something to snack on. Once or twice Din himself had even accompanied you, with the baby wrapped around your chest in a bundle of fabric, his hand interlaced with yours. Now, though, you’re alone for what feels like the first time in years. You’re wandering through the market at a speed so slow it’s almost comical, taking time to touch, to see, to hear.
It’s exhilarating.
Nevarro has grown since you had first been here, and you can’t say it’s been particularly easy for you to return, to immerse yourself in a system that’s caused you so much pain. There are nights you find yourself thrashing at the sheets at the image of Din’s body crumpling under fire as the rest of you were forced down through the halls of the covert, or the ice that filled your veins when you realized your son had been taken. That Nevarro is gone, however, up in ash like the volcanos that dot the landscape of this system. You have a home here, a real house, and you’re determined to make it into something to rid both you and Din of your nightmares.
You left Din and Grogu at the house and took the small speeder he had been restoring for you back to the city center, parking it just outside the bustling square, ready to go if need be. Old habits die hard, you guess. The city itself now brims with life, families duck in and out of each other as they weave through the streets, droids pull carts of fresh produce. It’s all very exciting, very reassuring. 
“Lady Djarin!” A booming voice calls, one that stops the people nearest to you as they part ways to make space for the figure coming through. Greef Karga walks through the parted crowd, offering handshakes and smiles to those he walks past, before coming to stop at you and extending his arm. “Going shopping?”
You blush slightly at the moniker, Din had been clear that you had been made part of his clan and while you were by no means married, you appreciate the sentiment. “You know if I let Din make decisions on the house it’d stay as barren as the day we moved in.”
“I don’t doubt that,” he chuckles, escorting you through the streets and alleys. It really is beautiful here, with overflowing greenery practically spilling out of the windows of the residents, flowers of numerous bright colors dotting shopfronts and the hair of those who walk past you. “Have you been to our markets before?”
You glance at him and quirk up an eyebrow.  “Have I ever had much time for shopping when we’ve been on system?”
“You’ve got a fair point.” He leads you farther, until you approach a colorful alley with storefronts boasting fruits, silks, and small goods that stretches farther than you can see. “I recommend the flowers from the Togruta woman halfway down, if you were to pick some up,” and pats your hand before leaving you to your own devices. He knows you well enough at this point to know that you aren’t unable to defend yourself, and that you do occasionally appreciate the rare moments you get away from father and baby.
It’s not that you don’t love them both dearly, you do, so much so that you keenly remember the feeling of bringing a vibroblade up to the chest of Moff Gideon before you were quickly thrown aside. You’ve got the scars to prove it. You adore them. You also needed a moment of peace, to think and feel and make a home out of the house you were so graciously gifted. Besides, you can’t help but feel a little lost in your place in life now, as the dust has settled. Din had clearly adopted Grogu as his son, a fact you really couldn’t be happier about, but where did you land? You had waited with baited breath for him to ask the Armorer to add you to their song, but he hadn’t. Instead the three of you left soon afterwards, planning to meet up at Nevarro after he went to talk to an old friend with the New Republic. You had grown to resent his little two seater N-1, much preferring the space of your trusty fighter.
You walk down the alley, stopping to feel the fabrics and scarves that line the booths. One stall boasts brightly colored blankets, and you rustle through the soft blankets before you find a warm cream color dotted with tiny, multi-colored, embroidered flowers.You hand the shopkeeper the credits, and continue to walk down the street, doing your very best attempt to not buy everything you touch, though you aren’t sure you’ll succeed.
“Fruits! Fresh fruits here!”
“Instruments for the finest songstress!”
“Silks and scarves, keep warm when the sun sets!”
“A treasure for the finest student, primers for language!”
It’s this last seller that stops you in your tracks, reminding you of the reason you first met Din anyways. Sure, your role had grown now, twisted into something beautiful and pure, but aside from being lover, mother, confidant, and pilot, you were at your core, his translator. 
“What languages do you offer?” You say, walking into the old man’s small storefront. It’s cool inside, with walls painted a deep blue with light blue outlines of nearby star systems, like a map projected. He’s got datapads and even a few books of flimsi strewn around, tucked into cupboards, as well as collectibles from systems you could only dream of visiting. 
“What language do you need?” He grins, pulling out a datapad from his pocket and opening a menu that seems to scroll for years. “I offer most standard tongues, as well as a few more useful in the outer rim. You strike me as someone who’s looking for something a bit more unique.”
“I’m a translator by trade,” you say, scrolling through the offerings until you find something that stops you. “Standard is my craft.”
“A scholar then,” he pauses, and takes the datapad away from you. “When was the last time you learned a language for yourself?”
“I learned Kaleesh when I was younger,” you shrug, and the shopkeeper laughs.
“What does a woman like you need a war-tongue for?” “All the best people in my life are fighters.”
“Perhaps the language of a friend then, a spouse?” he offers, and you stop in your aimless wandering around the shop. Of course, how could you have been so stupid.
“I’ll take one basic primer, for a child, and anything you’ve got on Mando’a.”
Your arms are beginning to tire from the amount of things you’ve picked up: you’ve got toys for Grogu, fruits and vegetables, some meat for dinner, the blanket, your downloads, a few silks to hang for drapery, seeds, and a rug that’s set to be delivered in a rotation. You’re about to turn back, content with the amount of credits you’ve ran through in a day when you notice her, the Togruta woman and her flower stand. She’s inarguably stunning, with wide eyes and lekkuu that stretch down her chest, her markings intricate and carved down her face in an eye-catching way. 
“Hi,” you begin as you walk up to her, she’s pruning a bright orange flower now, and she glances up from her work to offer you a smile. “Your flowers come highly recommended by magistrate Karga.”
She scoffs and sets her flower down, offering you a worn hand to shake. “I’m Obesha.” She gestures to the blooms bursting from her cart. “What are you looking for?”
“Well, I’m relatively new in town, me and my,” you struggle to find the word. Din isn’t your spouse, but he’s more than your boyfriend. Frankly, lover feels a little too intimate for this woman you just met. “Companion and our child just settled outside town and I’m looking for something to brighten up our home.”
Obesha grins, before plucking a variety of blue, yellow, and white flowers carefully, tucking in pieces of greenery amongst them. “Turning a house into a home is one of the most challenging, yet rewarding things a being can do.” She gingerly plucks at the leaves, pruning it to perfection, before wrapping the bouquet up in a light gray cloth, which for some unbeknownst reason feels softer than anything you’ve felt before.
“What is this?”
She hums and turns back into her shop, coming out with a larger swatch of fabric, this one decorated with finely worked sheer lace, dyed the same blue-gray as the fabric on the outside of the bouquet. “It’s custom in my village to wear these for special occasions,” she pulls the wrap up to model it on herself, and you’re struck by the way the light filters through the lace. “It’s deceivingly warm and very beautiful.” She folds it up into a small square before handing it to you, “consider it a housewarming gift.”
Your mouth falls open as you struggle to reach into your bag for the credits. “Please, let me pay you, I have the money.”
She extends a hand forward to hush you, then gestures back down the alley. “Pay me back by letting me know what your family thinks of my arrangement.”
* * *
You’re distracted your whole ride back, which you admit probably isn’t the best thing for you to be as you navigate the desert. It’s not a particularly long ride to your home, which you’re grateful for, and you smile as the familiar form of the ships parked outside the small cabin beacon you in. Din and Grogu must not be home, considering he usually rushes to you to take anything you’re carrying and you can typically hear Grogu’s coos before you see him. It isn’t a surprise then, when you walk in to find the house empty, and notice the small message flashing on the datapad he’s left behind.
Gone fishing just down the springs.-D
It’s a habit he’s picked up after the brief time the two of you spent apart, when Grogu went to live with the Jedi and Din went off on his own. He came back to you quickly, finding you easily while you worked as a translator on Tatooine, with the daimyo you and Din had gotten to know very well. He never left without a message again once he had you back, and you smile as you swipe the note away.
“Time to organize!” you clap to no one in particular, and begin setting things up around the home. You tuck the new blanket in along you and Din’s bed (a concept that still feels so foreign after the places you’ve been sleeping recently) and the toys on a shelf in the small room you’ve begun calling Grogu’s nursery. The rest is relatively simple, tucking fabrics along windows and placing fruits in the kitchen. You put the bouquet down in the middle of the small table, and are sure to add fresh water to the vase. It’s really coming together, you have to say. The cabin isn’t particularly large, the majority of the house consisting of one large room that works as kitchen, living, and sleeping space (which you’ve done your best to section off,) a small ‘fresher off towards the back, and the small room you and Din have given to Grogu. It’s perfect for your little clan of three, and you don’t find yourself wishing for more from the space, settling down on the couch and digging into the Mandalorian language pages on your datapad.
You aren’t sure how long has passed when your legs want for movement, and you set the datapad down and opt to go find your fishermen. It’s still blazingly hot on the surface, so you forgo the small shawl and walk towards the direction of the springs. You and Din had both dipped in them on your first night here before you realized the springs died off into a small, cooler pond a short walk away. There, Karga had explained, there was a thriving population of fish and other reptiles that were open for fishing. 
You spot them before they spot you, Din’s shiny helmet reflecting in your direction. It’s another thing that’s had your gut twisted in on itself. You’ve seen Din’s face, the day Grogu left you had seen it. In that moment you had fallen deeper in love than you realized even possible. You were absolutely supportive of him and frankly, you were elated he’d been able to be welcomed back into his covert, but you couldn’t help but feel like an absolutely terrible person for it. Honestly, you hadn’t expected this move to domesticity to churn up so many emotions for you, particularly when this is the thing you’ve basically been dreaming of since the two of you first kissed.
Now, he’s perched on a rock, pole in hand, while Grogu sits on his knee, eyes fixed on the pond. You walk up quietly behind him but years of experience have him turning his head to spot you walking. Grogu turns too, and you can swear he gurgles out something to the effect of “buir!” as he bounces up and down on his father’s knee. You move in to scooch beside Din, who happily makes room for you, as you run a hand down the side of his helmet.
“Hi,” you breathe, and his hand, not on the pole, moves to find your fingers.
“Hi.” He murmurs back, and you rest your head on his shoulder. 
“I got some things for the house,” you lean over to scratch Grogu’s ears, “Got some stuff for bug and some food for dinner.”
“Can I cook for you?”
Your cheeks bloom at the words, “Sure, I’ve never had your cooking.”
“Never really had the space to do it,” he shrugs, “but I do now.”
You settle into a comfortable silence after this, and he sets Grogu down to splash in the edge of the pond and rests the fishing pole on the side of the rock. With his hands free, he heaves you up onto his lap and slides his arms around your waist. “Did you get anything for yourself?”
“One or two things,” you wave a hand in the air, “got a language learner for Grogu, thought we could try and teach him basic.”
“Please, as if we need to give him more ways to say ‘No’” He groans, but you can tell from the shake of his shoulders that he’s laughing, and he pulls you in closer to his chest. “We haven’t caught anything all day.”
“Mmm… so he clearly doesn’t get his patience from his father.”
“No, he gets it from his mother.”
You look up at him with wide eyes. Sure, you know you’re his mother, but hearing those words, after the adoption, it floods you with a warmth that has you wishing you could just kiss him right now.
“Cyare,” he starts, his hand coming to rest on your cheek, but is disrupted by the sound of violent splashing. You both jump up just to see Grogu standing at the edge of the pond, fish in hand. 
“I guess only one of you had trouble today,” you nudged him playfully before going to scoop up the baby, while he dropped the fish in the pond.
It’s been dangerously quiet inside the house, and you’ve been relegated to sit out on the small bench on the front porch. You appreciate Din cooking but the simple fact that you aren’t entirely sure he knows how to cook slipped your mind when you agreed. Now, you try not to think about that fact, and dedicate yourself to the datapad in your lap. You’ve seen some familiar words, buir and cyare, even the diminutives Din calls you late at night, cyar’ika and mesh’la.  You’ve always wanted to pick up his mother tongue, and you want to kick yourself for not doing it sooner. Now, you’re devouring it, trying to learn it all. It’s a rich language, more complex than most you’ve learned. You’re so wrapped up in your reading that when Din opens the front door you jump, and he leans forward to grab your hand, guiding you out of the chair.
“I think it’s done?”
“You aren’t inspiring a lot of confidence here,” you laugh as you walk inside, sitting down at the table next to Grogu. Din brings over the pot and you peer in. He’s done what looks to be a solid job, the vegetables are chopped a little more rough than you could’ve done, and you can tell the meat is slightly overdone, but considering it comes from him, you spoon it onto your plate like it’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten. You pour some out in front of Grogu and you feel Din’s eyes practically burn holes in your head.
“Yes?”
“I want to know if you like it.” He’s so quiet, the voice sounding almost shy. You reach over and place a hand atop his. 
“There isn’t a universe where you make something I don’t love.”
You both begin eating in silence, (his use of seasoning is surprisingly impeccable, and the meat is only a touch rough) when he starts up again. “The flowers are a nice touch, and the drapes.”
“Thank you,” you blush. “I just wanted to warm it up here.”
“Maker knows I don’t know what I’m doing, we’re lucky to have you.” He reaches over and taps you on the chin before turning his attention to Grogu, running a rag on the table across his mouth as he manages to smear every bite of food across his face.
After dinner, the two of you work to clean the kitchen while Grogu plays with one of the new toys you brought for him in the living room. You and Din are chatting, about nothing, about everything, when the warmth of the moment hits you, and you lean your head on his shoulder. He’s since dressed down to just his helmet, and you can feel the warmth of his skin radiate beneath his shirt. “This is nice.”
“What, dishes?” he laughs, but you can feel his arm snake loosely around your hips as he sets the last plate down.
“Just, this” you gesture to the house, to the pile of dishes, to Grogu playing, “it’s nice to have a home.”
“I already had a home,” he pulls you in closer, you can smell the sweat of the day and his spiced aftershave from where your head falls on his chest. “When Grogu falls asleep, I want to take you somewhere.” He pushes his forehead on yours, before moving to sit on the floor with Grogu, leaving you standing in the kitchen, grinning like an idiot at the scene before you. This is your family, your clan. Husband or not, Din is the love of your life, you’ve lost him and the baby once and you don’t intend to do it again. You set down the cleaning rag and join the two of them on the floor, happy to oblige in whatever game Grogu is playing.
* * *
“Where’d you get that?” Din asks as he leads you down the rocky sides of the springs.
“The florist, it’s shockingly warm.” You pull the shawl tighter around your form and Din stops suddenly. You're back at the pond from earlier only now it looks different. There’s a small blanket strewn across the rock you had sat on earlier, and he scrambles to light a few assorted candles that litter the ground. Even the scenery appears to have changed, as tiny yellow lights dot the air.
“They’re actually tiny lifeforms,” he says, gesturing to the yellow dots, “Karga told me they come out at night over here.”
“It’s beautiful, how come we haven’t been here yet?”
“Just waiting for a good time to get you alone.” He pulls you closer to the rock and the two of you sit down, your back pressed to his chest as you watch the sky turn a deep purple color as the yellow lights dance in the sky. You sit like that in silence for a moment longer when his voice comes out, rumbling and warm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong, why?” You sputter, and you want to smack yourself for how incriminating that sounds.
“You’re hiding it, and hiding it well. But something’s wrong,” his voice comes low to your ear now, still modulated and heavy but him. “What I don’t know is why you won’t tell me.”
“I’m… It’s really not a big deal.”
“Can I guess?”
“If you want.”
“Well,” he breathes in, like he’s holding his breath, “I commed Bo.”
You whip your head around at that. He must have been really concerned to enlist the help of one of your favorite Mandalorians.
“Oh? What did Bo say?” “That I’m a nerf herder.”
You snort at that and settle into his chest again. “Sounds like Bo.”
His hands come up to turn you towards him, and he pulls your legs so you're facing him, your legs wrapping around his waist. You’re close like this, if you leaned forward you could rest your forehead against his. “You doubt me, what I feel for you.”
“That’s not really the way I would put it,” you murmur, and he closes the gap for you, bringing his helmet to your head. “I just was worried… that I wasn’t a part of your clan. You’ve adopted Grogu, and that makes you his father. But I’m just-”
“His mother. Cyar’ika, I haven’t been fair with you.” His hands move to press small circles into your back. “I shouldn’t have let you feel doubt in me, in our clan. You are to Grogu as I am. You’re my-”
“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum,” you breathe, and it’s your turn to cut him off, whispering the sweet words to him in the echo of the world. You can hear his breath hitch as he grabs you tighter. “I’ve been practicing all day.”
“You don’t need to speak my language to be a part of me. You already have been for longer than I can say,” he murmurs, and his hand goes to the back of your head. “Gar solus ner aliit, gar solus but buir.”
It takes you a moment to catch up with the translations, the sweet words he’s whispering, and Din uses this moment of thinking to bring both his hands up to his helmet, disengage the locking mechanism, and pull it off, resting it on the rock beside him.
“Din!” you shout, and smack your hands over your eyes, but he’s faster than you and catches your wrists in your hands. 
“Look at me mesh’la.” And you do, you drink him in with everything you have, bringing your hands to trace his lips, his nose, eyes refusing to leave his. “I finally have something to offer you.” He whispers, his lips so close to your ear that you swear you’ve died. That must be the case. You’ve simply ascended into the great beyond. “I didn’t add you to the song on Mandalore because I wanted to have something to give you, something to promise you forever.”
You look past his shoulder to the silhouette of the cabin. “Our house.”
“Our home.” He holds your cheeks in his hands, and you can tell he’s been as starved of this as you have. “You’ve made it a home.”
His lips are on yours in an instant, and you’re devouring him like you’ve been starved. Sure, you’ve kissed him since he put his helmet back on, but the weight of all of this, of his helmet being gone, of you seeing him again, it’s like the first time all over again.
“Din, your creed.” You murmur between kisses.
“Save me the trip back to Mandalore and marry me then.”
You pull back, searching his eyes for any joke, and you want to cry when there isn’t one.
“I told you, when I had something to offer you.”
You’re laughing and crying now as he fiddles with the lace hem of your shawl before delicately draping it across your head. “My riduur.”
Even with your expert knowledge of linguistics, the vows are clunky and foreign in your mouth, but with Din smiling at you, you have no complaints. He scoops you and his helmet up almost immediately, walking you back into the cabin and tossing you onto the bed. He breaks from your gaze for just a minute to go into the nursery and emerges with a sleepy-eyed Grogu.
“Hi baby,” you croon as Din places him on the bed and he waddles towards you.
“He loves his buir” Din whispers as he falls into bed beside you. The little green cover stealer is quick to settle between you and his dad, his hands reaching out to press on both of your foreheads. You look over at Din, whose eyes are once again finding yours.
“Welcome home.” He whispers.
You mean to tell him that you love him, that you’re happy to be married to him, but sleep 
finds you first. Not that it matters. 
He already knows.
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thewriterg · 2 years
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♡︎make it up to doll♡︎
Pairing(s): Dallas Winston x Fem!reader, Johnny Cade x Fem!reader, Ponyboy Curtis x Fem!reader, Dallas Winston x Cherry Valance
Word count: 2.1k
Summary: Dally always had ways of getting under your skin and one day he realized he might’ve went to far and could loose you he questioned himself. But it’s Dallas Winston he’ll always have a way of getting back on your good side —kinktober day; 1—
Warning(s): face sitting, fingering, f receiving, praise!kink, overstimulation, dirty talk, pet names, jealousy, mention of a weapon, and language
A/n: It’s October!!! I wanna make sure I complete kinktober completely so If you have some ideas send them over ;)
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“Red, Hey Red I’m talking to ya” Dallas called out to the redhead Soc who had previously acted as if the brunette hadn’t existed before she made a sharp turn to face his direction
They were all at the drive-in which Dally had invited you to after telling you blatantly that if you had paid a quarter to get in instead of hopping the fence like a ‘normal person’ he’d gut you like a fish which you had responded with a roll of your eyes and hanging up in the delinquents face
“What do you want hood?” Cherry harshly questioned while Dally barely cracked a smirk it was something about getting under people’s skin that just made him feel content but getting under yours to see you eyebrows scrunched and your nose shoot up made him feel absolute euphoria
“I need a favor” He responded his NewYork accent running deep with a mischievous gleam in his eye and he couldn’t figure out if the redness from the girls face was from the fact she couldn’t stand him or she couldn’t hate him but he could care less either way
“What makes you think I would help you” She scoffed shaking her head at the Greaser who looked down at the girl in pure amusement
“Because.. I’ll leave you alone if you do” Dally began to pull a cigarette from out his pocket closing the box as soon as he opened it cursing to himself at his sparking lighter
“We both know that’s not true Winston” The red head scoffed in anything but amusement rolling her eyes for the seemingly the hundredth time In a ten minute time frame the two teen’s stared at each other for a moment before Dally shrugged his shoulders he was stubborn Darry always said that’s mostly why you two bumped heads so much but in the end you couldn’t stay away from each other
“Fine, You’re real lucky I feel nice today… Now what do you want”
☆☆☆☆☆
“Hey Pone, What’s up JohnnyCakes” You greeted the two greasers who greeted you softly Pony giving you a wave while Johnny gave you a small smile that you had felt special to see
You had sat unknowingly where the delinquent previously had closest to the isle way hands fiddling with the extra fabric in the inside of your pockets while you subconsciously looked around for the six foot leather wearing hood
“So, Where’s Winston?” Johnny and Ponyboy both shot each other knowing looks before looking at the empty seat In front of them next to brunette Soc Marcia
“Think he ran of to the bathroom” Ponyboy answered while you nodded your head in acknowledgment leaning back in Dally’s your seat not noticing the brunette less than five feet away pointing at you with a red head practically attached to his hip
You were all laughing at something stupid one of the main characters said that caused a bud light to get thrown in his face by a offended teen before you could hear low chuckles and heavy foot steps approaching taking a small glance back you were expecting to see a couple who had a little too much to drink or started to forget they were in a public area
What you didn’t expect to see was Dallas Winston with the sociest’ of soc Cherry Valance with her hands resting on his clothed chest while staring up at him with the most dreamy look she could muster while he looked down at her with a small smirk on his face
When Johnny and Pony were no longer getting any reaction from you they couldn’t help but turn to your direction following your eyes that eventually trailed to Dallas and Cheryl. Johnny shifted in seat while Pony softly grimaced at the sight
You had rolled your eyes so hard that if Darry were here he would fuss about them getting caught in the back of your head before you fixed your eyes back on the projector screen
Pony noticed how your leg started to bounce up and down and he remembered his mother saying something along the lines of ‘once that leg gets to bouncing you can’t keep her still for long’ He didn’t know what she meant at first but now he couldn’t understand it any better than he already did
“Hope we didn’t miss too much” Dally and Cherry walked hand in hand up to you all her head leaning on his shoulder while his arm wrapped around her waist while she giggled turning her face into the crook of the hoods neck at his underlying tone the both of you shared glances Dally giving you a fixed nod while you ignored his existence completely
Eventually the pair sat directly behind You, Pony, and Johnny and in less than five minutes they decided to make out seemingly as over obnoxious as possible you started to fiddle with your pockets again your finger tips brushed against the cool metal of your switch blade
Soc’s. That’s one of the main reasons you had the sharp thing it made up at least 70% of the reason and here Dally was after he swore up and down to whoever he could get to listen that he would rather die than go with a Soc his statement seemed invalid, especially with his tongue down her throat
The more you thought about the more you got upset, angry even why would Dally even invite you if he was going to make out with some broad in front of your face and not spare you the time of day You could’ve sat at home in your most comfortable attire and watched your own damn movie but you were here. With the constant sound of sharing saliva in your ear
“You like that hmm?” It was more like a statement than a question while Cherry giggled in a high pitched tone that could make your ears ring before you abruptly stood from your seat the back of your knees pushing your chair back while grabbing your bag and throwing it over your shoulder
“I’ll see you around Pone, Johnnycake” You muttered while the two younger boys gave you an apologetic look or wave before turning around giving the meanest stare they could muster watching Dally’s eyes following your storming steps before he began to follow you while Pony whispered shouted to leave you alone
You were exiting the gate as you felt a presence behind you and you weren’t dumb you knew it was either Dallas or Soc but there were a handful of the West side rich kids and you weren’t looking to get jumped and Dally was to busy with his tongue down some broads throat to even notice your absence
Turning your body abruptly with your switchblade that you pointed directly at the jugular of the Person you’ve came to recognize as Dally mocking fear with his hands up in fake surrender
“What are you gonna cut me Y/l/n” He questioned when you didn’t bring retrieve your knife from his neck while you couldn’t help but roll your eyes before clipping the knife back in its place as you began to walk away
“You know man, you should really stop with silent treatment thing gettin’ kinda old” He followed behind you he knew he was testing your nerves testing how long it would be before you snapped
Dally has at least seen everyone in his life snap at him once and you had been running with him since you nine and you haven’t yet it was almost like he was making it his life’s mission to make you loose it, to make you loose your shit at him at least one time
“Leave me alone Winston” You muttered picking up the pace in your step the DX lit up sign kissing your face along with the occasional street light
“Cmon’ Y/l/n just stay another ho-”
“No Dallas I won’t stay another hour! I’m not going to sit here and watch you shove your tongue down some broads throat CHERRY VALANCE NO LESS! I’m going home.”
Dally’s eyes went wide for a split second he were surprised but how surprised could you be when you finally woke the sleeping bear it was still processing in his brain but Dallas wasn’t new when it came to the topic of jealousy and right now he’d say that’s where you were
This time when you began to start walking Dally grabbed your arm softly putting himself in front of your view of the empty streets while the two of your stared at each other you felt tears pricking at your waterline before you stubbornly wiped them away and then the brunette began to realize just how far he went
“Let me make it up to you” He’d finally broke the silence that loomed over both of you he couldn’t have let you go home with the thought he didn’t care because if he was being honest with himself and pushed away the stubbornness that voided his brain you and Johnny would be tying in the number one spot on the very short list of things he gave a damn about
“Dallas I’m not in a mood to go to the dingo” You muttered but Dally noticed you didn’t make a move to keep walking your trail
“No, no, I mean let me make it up to you actually. Cmon doll you can be mad at me all you want just.. just let me make ya’ feel good hmm?” Dally continued once you shook your head maneuvering his hands to your hips
“Bucks is a five minute walk from here.. let me show you how sorry I am” There was a Moment of silence that passed while the two of you started at each other, comfortable silence at that and that was something rare with Dally before you eventually nodded and it wasn’t your first time seeing a genuine smile from Dallas far from it but it still didn’t fail make you warm inside and you suddenly very grateful for Telusa’s dark streets before Dally began to pull you into his side before walking down the abandoned streets
★★★★★
 
Dally rolled his tongue against your clit as you came again with another sob coming over the sides of his face that rolled down to his chest that was already soaked from your flowing juices while the brunette muttered praises into your cunt
“Please Dal I can’t- I can’t do it I’m done” You sobbed with tears flowing down your cheeks
“You know how to make it stop Doll” Was Dally’s simple response This was at least your fith orgasm or sixth he couldn’t remember he was to happily lost in your count to keep count lapping his tongue around your swollen Bead as your hips buckled deeper into his face
You were hanging by a thread on the peak of another orgasm while his fingers rubbed small circles on your clit you couldn’t begin to verbally explain how overworked and sensitive you were
You know what you needed to do to give your cunt a break all you had to do was say that you accepted his apology but you hadn’t and Dally was willing to go all night until you did
You whined breaking Into another orgasm thrusting your hips upward your thighs squeezing his head while you drip down his chin and he could have a mustache of how you continually dripped down his mouth
You begin to let out a sigh of relief as Dallas started to kiss up your abdomen before beginning to leave scattered marks against your neck and chest while it begins to morph Into a whine as he replaced his tongue with his fingers while you let out a gasp He plunged the sound with his mouth and you tasted yourself on his tongue
For at least an hour Dallas seemingly had a endless amount of determination and stamina to ruin you and you had officially lost track of how long it’d been and how many times you had cum you’d lost track at eight
“Fuck! O-okay Dal I forgive you please” You sobbed into his neck while you hips and legs stuttered
“Cum one more time and I’ll stop. Just one more time doll, you can do it sweetheart” You whined nodding in agreement you were at your peak and beyond high Dally felt you cunt squeeze against his fingers while you came with a loud cry
“You did so good for me doll, So good” Dally praised pushing the hair that stuck to your forehead out of your face tracing shapes against your hip bone while pulling you into his side
While you lied on his shoulder Dally realized he could’ve lost you today and that somewhere in his stubborn brain he would have to realize that he could at any second
Dallas Winston wasn’t perfect but he always had a way of getting on your good side
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mogai-headcanons · 5 months
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May i ask, why do you support endo-systems? (Coming from someone with did themself)
i've talked about this before (can't remember which blog it was on) but can't find it so i'll just run down my reasons again:
above all else, i do not have the right to tell anyone what is actually going on in their own brain. the only time that might be acceptable would be if i was a doctor treating them for a psychological issue, and even then, it's not often a good idea to outright tell someone that their brain is Wrong. this applies both to fakeclaiming endogenic systems and to telling them that they're actually traumagenic but have repressed their trauma; neither is good form.
secondly above all else, we NEED to have solidarity among plural folks. this is coming from a psychology major and a system — there is a large number of psychology practitioners and researchers who straight up do not believe plurality exists in any form. there is also a large number of them who believe systems are far rarer than current diagnoses show, and therefore most diagnosed and suspected systems are not real. i have had to write an essay on why did is fake for a grade before. there are extremely prominent psychologists (ex: allen frances, the literal chair of the team who developed the dsm-iv) who believe did is a fad (allen frances has stated that he wanted to outright remove it from the dsm-iv). if we are fakeclaiming each other in our community, this only makes us more susceptible to the people who want plurality to be seen as entirely fabricated.
on that point, we also need to have solidarity against non-psychologist singlets who fakeclaim systems. things like the r/fakedisordercringe subreddit can be legitimately damaging to the people who are posted, scrutinized, and ridiculed, and we should be protecting each other from that, not shoving endogenic systems into the line of fire.
there is scientific evidence of non-traumagenic and non-disordered plurality (there are some interesting studies linked on this page), especially in spiritual communities.
though not all endogenic systems are disordered, they Can be; having experienced trauma is not a diagnostic criteria for did or osdd-1 in the dsm-5 tr or the icd-11. though it's obviously highly common for did/osdd systems to have experienced trauma, a non-insignificant portion of diagnosed disordered systems (something like 4% iirc) are not traumatized.
to go with the above point, many endogenic systems don't claim to have a dissociative disorder or that their system is disordered. if you're worried about people 'appropriating' or 'faking' your disorder, they largely are not, since plurality can and does exist outside of disorders.
as a traumagenic system, i feel unwelcome and threatened by anti-endogenic folks. i've been fakeclaimed by anti-endos before, either because they mistook me for an endogenic system since i support them or because they decided the behaviors i perform on the internet are evidence i'm faking. i'm not the only traumagenic system this has happened to.
i think that's the main points, i may have more idk
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edenalieth · 1 year
Text
Tricked
Pairing: pixy! Hyunjin x afab reader — read part.2
Genre: faery!au, based on « the cruel prince » universe, smut, slight of fluff and angst
Warnings: he’s short tempered, knife, unprotected sex (be careful!), oral sex female receiving
Words count: 4.2K
Summary: Your eyes couldn’t stop looking at him, your heartbeat was getting quicker, your palms were getting moist. It was the way his jet black hair were tied and contrasting with his porcelain skin, the way his pearl earring was lazily hanging on his pointy ear, the way his shirt was letting you peak at his collarbones and the hem of his chest. Hyunjin was your secret sin, and you were his. Both uncontrollably attracted to each other, almost as much as you despised his nature and him yours.
A.N: hi! I'm back with a new little story :) geez, I really post once every blue moon... as usual, sorry for the possible mistakes and comments/share are always very appreciated. hope you enjoy ♡ – cami, 230619
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He was furious. He could feel his blood boiling under his skin, his knuckles getting white around the silver knife he was holding. How could this even happen ? Servants were supposed to be irreproachable but, despite this obvious fact, his cape was ruined. The green texture of pease pudding was splattered all over the dark velvet. It was his favorite one, a deep blue fabric which looked like a night sky, with little crystals embroidered on the shoulders and bottom. 
Anger still filling his veins, he threw the cutlery on the table. His family and guests were looking at him, some were amused, some were not. His reputation preceded him, he was so full of himself and hated being wronged or humiliated in any kind of way. He wasn’t always like this but Elfhame was a cruel world where cruel people could live peacefully. And he had to keep that mask on. 
Getting up quickly, he grabbed the poor servant shirt by the hem. Plunging his eyes in his, his iris not showing an ounce of compassion. 
« You know that I could slit your throat for that, right ? » Hyunjin said with such a cold voice that the servant started to shiver. He let his left hand slide along his side to find what he was looking for: his dagger. 
« Enough ! ». The low voice resonated against the stone walls of the dinning room. Hyunjin stopped his move, pushed back the blade into its sheath as a grimace of disgust and anger was distorting his face. He scoffed while releasing the man. The young pixy couldn’t go against his father’s authority, especially in front of guests. He would be a dishonor for his own family. Annoyed, he gestured to an other servant to come. The girl quickly executed the order and asked « Yes, my lord ? ». The dark haired boy removed his cape and throw it in her hands. « Clean the mess this incompetent just caused ». His mother was looking at him, visibly worried. It would be a lie if Hyunjin said he didn’t think of beating the man up and go against his father’s will. Some guests would enjoy the show, he could tell just by looking at the elf waving her fan with a mischievous smile on her lips, or that gobelin whispering something to the man next to him. No. He would get his revenge sooner or later and now wasn’t the time. He needed some fresh air more than anything. 
« Dear guests, my apologies but I think I will finish this in my room », Hyunjin grabbed one fae fruit, briefly bowed and went toward the wooden ornate door. The crowd was already whispering and laughing at his behavior and the scene they had just witnessed. He would hear about that later today, his father would probably give him a lesson but he didn’t care anymore. His temper had caused a lot of problems already and he wasn’t going to stop now. The guards opened the door and he headed towards his apartment. 
His steps echoed on the floor which was a real piece of art. Lapis lazuli and black marble, representing the colors of his family, were skillfully mixed creating a contrast with the pale stone walls and the blue shaded stained-glass windows. Definitely a fairy tale like place. However, no matter how beautiful, comfortable or rare the furnitures could be it didn’t satisfied him the way the outside did. Reaching his room, he directly walked to his bookcase and grasped one specific book, opening the secret door behind it. That was his way to escape the manor discreetly and Nature knows how many times he would use it. Not bothering to wear an other cape, he got rid of his leather boots and left with the fruit still in his hand. 
Soon the rough ground of the hidden passage was replaced by the soft sensation of grass under his feet. He hummed peacefully as his papery wings softly vibrated in contentment. Maybe the day wouldn’t be so bad after all. He wandered around the wood as his soul unconsciously led him to his favorite place. It was a small clearing near the lake, to get access to it you had to go through a skimpy path, surrounded by bushes and brambles. Hyunjin had to be careful of his wings, he didn’t want them to get scratched or worse… When he finally got out of here, he was met by a stranger. 
Blankets were scattered on the grass, fruits and wine near by, a diaphanous dress covering your bare skin. You were laying on your stomach, a book in one hand, grappes on the other as you quickly looked at the intruder. He seemed just as surprised as you were. There was no mistaking on who the stranger was. Those long dark hair tied with a silky ribbon, the pearl dangling on his ear, the jewelry on his delicate fingers and his iridescent dark blue wings. It was none other than Hwang Hyunjin. 
Anger started to fill his system for the second time this day. How did you even know about this place ? It was his haven and you were unwelcome in it. His wings started to vibrate, unable to control his feelings. He knew who you were, the new girl. Difficult to miss such an event. Y/N, the girl of the west lands, part of the untamed nation until your family made an agreement with King Cardan and Queen Jude. The queen and you had a pretty similar story, you were a clay girl as well, living with fairies thanks to your dad. Yet, no magic was running in your blood, you were a bastard and not a rightful being of this land. And gosh, Hyunjin despised humans. So weak, stupid and useless. They were like mere insects he could crush under his boots. At least, he could have done that before Jude Duarte became Elfhame’s queen. Nowadays, the few humans living here were respected or, at least, no harm was made to them. Still, who could blame him if he was a bit playing with you… As a mischievous plan was blooming in his mind, you put yourself back up, still sitting on the blankets. 
« What a surprise to see you here, girl of clay ! » Hyunjin first spoke, his voice being soft despite his agitated wings. « It’s a shared feeling Hyunjin. » you replied, not letting your guard down. You knew about him and his anger issues just as you knew about fae and their cruelty. « Can I join you ? » He suddenly asked, a little smile on his face. You nodded, gesturing him to take the spot next to you. He sat with no hesitation. As the silence was becoming louder and louder as seconds passed by, you took back your book. The boy was good at faking his nonchalance but not as good as he thought he was. Side eyeing him discreetly, you could see his fingers fidgeting on the fabric of the blankets. You weren’t sure if you would be able to deal with this awkward situation any longer but you didn’t want to give up this place and let him think that he had won. You were tired of all those arrogant people looking down on you when you were crossing their path. Of course, nobody would harm you in broad daylight but, who knows, accidents can happen anytime at Elfhame… And Hyunjin was probably plotting something. 
As if you had called for it, the dark haired boy suddenly broke the silence. « This is my favorite place. », his voice was calm, imprinted with some peace you had never noticed before as he was looking at the silver shine of the lake. « Yes, it’s pretty pleasant around here. » you replied, putting your book aside for the second time today. « I thought I was the only one knowing about here. Apparently, I was wrong… And, you know what’s unpleasant ? Your presence here. » he added, his dark eyes staring at you, his body creeping towards you, like a feline getting ready to hunt his prey. You frowned at his words, silently challenging each other. Gosh, his siren eyes were intimidating and you could understand why people were kind of scared of him. Despite the danger emanating from him, you wanted to smack his beautiful face but his family had more power than yours. It would be to risky to do so. 
You were brave for a mortal and Hyunjin could feel the adrenaline running through his veins. He had never been this close to you and the proximity of your face, your lips, your curves, the tension… It was appealing to him. Oh, the pixy looked at you more often than he would admit it. Yes, you were the new girl, but it wasn’t so uncommon to see humans around here nowadays and people didn’t pay the extra attention Hyunjin had towards you. He wanted to deny his attraction, he couldn’t fall this low and belittle himself, even after all those weeks of getting mixed feelings every time you were sharing the same space. But, right now, right here, hidden from the real world… He thought it would be nice to play with you. Using the tone on you, that special voice fairies were using to bewitch people of clay, would be easy, even a three years old kid could do this. He came closer and closer, until his fingers were brushing against yours, a mischievous smile floating on his plump lips. 
The moving reflects of water dancing on his face, the frail sound of wave lapping on the shore as his gaze was becoming flirty and playful. Your eyes couldn’t stop looking at him, your heartbeat was getting quicker, your palms were getting moist. It was the way his jet black hair were tied and contrasting with his porcelain skin, the way his dark blue wings were similar to the most precious sapphires, the way his pearl earring was lazily hanging on his pointy ear or the way his shirt was letting you peak at his collarbones and the hem of his chest. Hyunjin was your secret sin, and you were his. Both uncontrollably attracted to each other, almost as much as you despised his nature and him yours. You could feel his breath on your bare shoulders, suddenly full conscious of how see through your dress was, seen the lustful look the boy was giving to you. 
You were a beautiful creature, almost as if you weren’t totally human. Not thinking too much about these weird thoughts and getting impatient, he decided that it was time to hunt. « Why don’t we turn your presence into something worthy, shall we ? » he whispered before casting a spell on you, « I’m starving, I couldn’t properly eat today… Feed me. » he ordered, going back to rest on his forearms, his wings framing his body like a halo. Your eyes went momentally blank, proving that the spell was working, as you took some of the grappes. Grabbing one, you delicately put in on his opened mouth as he kept looking at every single gesture you made. « More. » You diligently executed his wish until he had enough. He made you massage his shoulders, dance on the grass, your clothe twirling around you as if it was made of mist, making you almost fall as he was laughing to the point his stomach hurt. He was enjoying this a lot. Despite the entertainment, he knew what he wanted the most. « Ok, let’s stop a little » he said still giggling. « You must be sweating, right ? Why don’t you refresh yourself and go on the lake ? ». You paused and he thought for a second that the magic wasn’t working until you grasped your skirt and walked in the water. He followed you, not wanting to miss a single second of the show. Watching you from the shore, he admired the diaphanous fabric dancing around your body. You looked like a nymph, leaving him speechless. « Do you enjoy this ? » his voice was less confident and his blood was rushing down there. « Yes, Hyunjin. I love it » you replied, a beautiful candid smile illuminating your face. His breath was becoming heavy as you were lazing around the water and his desire was taking the lead on his reason. « Enough. Come join me on the blankets ». Obedient, you got out. Your dress was totally useless at this point. It seemed heavier, as water was dripping all over your curves, and the fabric was sticking onto your skin. He could see everything, to the small moles adorning your thighs, to your nipples perking up. He wanted to touch you badly, to let his wildest fantasies come to live after restraining them for weeks. He took your hand in his, leading you as he was once again laying down. You were on top of him, his shirt getting wet in the process but he didn’t care. His expression was more serious, his wings weren’t the buzzing mess they were earlier. You looked at him, waiting for him to speak and tell you your next mission. He caressed your face with the back of his hand, brushing his thumb against your kissable lips. Soft and warm. « Y/N. Kiss me. » Did he just told you that ? He had to get a grip on himself, what was wrong with him ? As you were coming closer, he realized how wrong it was. He had to stop all of this and go back to the manor. Now. However… Just one kiss wouldn’t be bad, right ? He would make you forget all this buffoonery with another spell and would never talk to you ever again. He promised himself. Closing his eyes to enjoy the first and last time he would kiss you, he didn’t notice the mocking smile on your face. 
How naive the pixy had been. Fae people were dangerous and cruel but, apparently, the mix of an elf and a human was worse… At first, you thought he just wanted to make a fool out of you. You would let him play a little before giving him a lesson he would remember. Yet, when you noticed the desire in his eyes, looking at your wet clothed body, which built up a fire inside you. And he had fallen for your little role-play. Honestly, you couldn’t blame him. People always thought you were a simple girl and not a half-blooded one and it came with some advantages. It was true, you couldn’t use magic but you were immune to it, you didn’t age like humans and you could lie, something a lot of people were extremely jealous of. Yes. The tone was inefficient on you and the black haired boy was about to know that real soon. 
His eyes still closed, he wondered what was taking you so long. He finally looked at you. You were straddling him, the water from your body soaking his clothes, holding back your laughter because of his confused expression. « Wha-what are you doing ? I asked you something, do it! ». Anger was creeping back, his fist clenched as he was trying to get up. You wondered if his angry face wasn’t even prettier than his usual arrogant one. « Say please ? » you teasingly said. « Excuse m- » 
You made him shut his mouth with your hand and leaned closer. He was furious right now, his wings started to buzz as if a swarm of bees was attacking you. « Behave. I told you to say « please », is it that difficult for someone like you ? You’re used to have everything on a silver plate, I guess. » you scoffed, staring at his dark pupils. He seemed a bit relaxed, when you felt his hand sliding along his waist, looking for his dagger, only to be met by the emptiness of his sheath. 
« Is it what you’re looking for ? » you asked, falsely innocent. You waved the beautiful silvermithery before his wide opened eyes. When did you ?… As soon as you removed your hand, he tried to push you and get his weapon back. Unfortunately, too slowly. You put the blade under his chin, the sharp knife almost wounding his immaculate throat. « You tricked me ! » he screamed, helpless. « You were the one trying to lure me into your trap ! » you defended yourself. He smashed the ground with his fist. You were right and he hated it. « Let me go. » But you didn’t move. « Let me go or I will go to the royal court and complain about your threatening behavior! You will spend the rest of your life in some deserted lands! ». You laughed. He continued his tirade. « And why did the spell failed ? What are you ? ». Your smile quickly faded. «  I’m a half-blooded. My mother is also half-blooded. She’s half human, half elf. And so am I. That’s why it’s not noticeable at first sight, you have to know me for that. ». He was visibly surprised and was scanning every parts of your body. He could see it now. The slightly pointy ears, the purple shade circling your pupil and your skin looked perfect while basic human’s one was more… dull ? Damn it. He had been stupid. He sighed. « What do you want half-blood ? ». 
« I want the same thing as you do. » Not giving him the time to reply, you closed the gap between his lips and yours, kissing him passionately. He tried to resist but gave up easily. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled you against his body. He was loosing his damn mind. Intoxicated by your smell, the way your tongue was playfully licking his lips or how your free hands was running down his torso. One thing was still bothering him. The dagger. « Y/N, could you please put this away ? ». He put one of his finger on the blade, pleading. You were hesitant, judging the plus and minus. « I promise I will not hurt you or run away. Please. » He was almost begging, needing to kiss you more, to be free to touch you. Fae couldn’t lie, it was the rule. You obediently granted his wish, not breaking your eye contact. As soon as you did, he sat up not bothering about the fact that you were still on his lap. You felt his hands sliding under your dress to help you remove it. You didn’t protest and let him do so. 
The full view was even prettier. Your naked body was like a painting to him. Masterpieces weren’t meant to be touched, but you were the exception and he let his hands run down your curves, making you shiver. He couldn’t wait any longer as he attached his lips to your nipple, sucking on it desperately, his tongue twirling around it, his hands resting on your ass. You moaned while pulling onto his ribbon to untie it and grab his long silky hair. The sensation was amazing and you started to hump on his still clothed bottom, his boner growing under your core. He pulled away from your sensitive breast to cup your face and kiss you more. His hips started to move in harmony with yours but he wanted to have your skin against his. Quickly unbuttoning his shirt to get rid of it while your fingers were working on his pants, he soon ended up in his birth suit. Crouching back on his lap, you wrapped your fingers around his member and started to move up and down. He whimpered as you were variating the pace of your strokes, your thumb caressing the tip of his dick, already glittering with precum. He had never been touched like that. It wasn’t his first time and faeries loved to devote themselves to drinking session and fuckery but it was only that, no feelings involved, just some bestial instincts. It felt different with you. By the way you were looking at him and his body, your delicate gesture, this intimate place only the two of you knew about. Who would have thought you would be this soft when you threatened him just few minutes ago. Wanting to relieve his blooming feelings, he grabbed your waist and made you roll on your back, taking the lead this time. Spreading your legs to expose your bare core, he slid his fingers along your slit. You were dripping wet and wanted to get more. « Touch me » you begged. He smirked. « You didn’t need to ask ». You felt his middle finger rubbing your clit before entering your vagina. He kept playing with both of it while your walls were getting tighter, your fingers digging into the skin of his back to feel his chest against yours but still being careful of his papery wings. « I want to make one with you » he whispered to your ear, sending electricity through your veins. « Please Hyunjin ». Hearing you saying his name in such a sinful way felt like the sparkle which lit up the fire. His wings were vibrating softly and it turned him on even more when you caressed the part where they were meeting his shoulders. He positioned himself, grinding against you to lubricate his penis with your fluids. He looked at you, waiting for your consent. You nodded, cupping his beautiful face with your hands as he gave you his signature siren gaze. Penetrating you gently, you let out a soft moan quickly muffled by his plump lips kissing you. His hips were working faster, your tongues dancing together into a slippery kiss while your legs were hanging around his waist. The pace was changing, giving you more sensations, feeling his full length hitting your G spot. He broke your kiss just to give you some more on your jawline, neck and collarbones, eager to hear you whine under his touch. And you didn’t disappoint. He could feel your walls ready to clench around his member but he didn’t want to end it yet. At your surprise, he removed himself. « What are you doing ? » you complained, breathless. « Trust me » was his only answer. He intertwined his fingers with yours and made a trail of kisses along your body, going further down until his mouth was on your venus. He gave a first lick to it, tasting you fully. His tongue was dangerously working on your clit, sometimes giving some kitten lick, sometimes using it all. It was totally new to you and you weren’t sure you would be able to take it any longer. « Hyunjin… » you said in a breath. Your legs were starting to shake lightly and you looked at him in despair. You were met by his almond eyes, enjoying the view you were offering him. It was such a sinful yet dreamy scene. That’s when you felt it, the wave of pleasure rushing inside of you, making your legs quiver uncontrollably and moan a mantra of his name. He detached his lips from your sex, giving you some time to take your breath.  His chin was glimmering with your juices and you wondered how you tasted like… « My turn ? » he said with a smirk. « You didn’t need to ask. » He giggled as you answered in the exact same way he did before. 
You softly pushed him on his back, to be able to ride him comfortably. As you positioned yourself and started to move on his dick, he placed his hands on the small of your back to help you keep your balance. A moaning mess, this is what you were reduced to. Hyunjin felt dizzy under your touch and the way his cock was perfectly fitting inside of you, as if you were meant to be, drove him to the edge. It was also your gaze, strangely full of something pretty close to love, your delicate hands running through his hair or touching his chest. Despite your still sensitive bud, you could feel a second wave of orgasm coming for you and he could feel it too. Your walls were getting tighter, making it difficult for him to slide easily inside of you, clenching his length in the most delicious way. Sitting for you to get him fully, he gave few more hip thrust before reaching his climax, shaking between your arms as his face was resting on your breast. Soon you were met by yours and stayed like this, connected for a bit, both panting while his semen was dripping down your thighs. He looked up towards you, a soft smile on his face, his eyes looking like little crescent moons. You gave him a peck on his forehead before he spoke. « Y/N… I’m dying of heat… Should we go take a swim ? » You giggled but happily agreed. Holding your hand he led you into the water, not letting you go. « Did I make my presence worthy of your time, Lord Hwang Hyunjin ? » you teased him, cupping his face with your hands. « More than worthy, half-blood. Let’s meet again… Hmm… Tomorrow ? » He pressed his lips against yours, water refreshing your overheated bodies. « It would be my pleasure. »
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ladylooch · 1 year
Note
Wait! I finally have a blurb idea (I was in a drought for weeks) What if you and Nico have an FWB thing going on for months and no one defines the relationship? So now your friends are telling you that he'll never claim you as his gf because he doesn't feel the need to do that since you are that (this happened to a friend, is horrible) so they pushed you to date someone else. But when you are on that date you see Nico across the room and he is looking at you with his big puppy eyes he is heartbroken because he thought you were official or at least exclusive, and now you have to mean his broken heart and assure him that you also want that. 🥺🥹
Anything to You- Nico Hischier
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A/N: Ahhhh the classic, we totally know what we are but then we catch feelings and we don’t. WE LOVE IT! Thank you for the fun request 😘
Word count: 1.2k (yes over a blurb, hope you don’t mind 🥰)
Warnings: Mature Themes (18+), angsty!
I still remember the first time Nico and I had sex.
It was rushed. In a bar bathroom where we both had gotten carried away grinding drunk on the dance floor with a handful of his teammates. Our hands and mouthes bumped against each other awkwardly. Neither of us removed our underwear, just slid the fabrics to a spot that we could fully connect. We both climaxed fast, the obvious sexual tension between us too much to hold back.
After was awkward; we were only supposed to be friends. We stumbled through the aftermath as we worked our pants back into place. He didn’t want anything serious. I kinda did, but hated the concept of dating. So, we decided we would be cool being once and a whiles with each other. 
There was never any talk of forever. Never a breakfast in the morning. We slept at each other’s places, but it was always quick kisses goodbye as we ran off to our separate lives where we were just friends. I fell in love with him quickly. Nico stayed aloof.
Which is why I don’t understand the look of devastation on his face right now.
“Neeks?” I question, glancing over my shoulder at my date. Nico is silent, staring beyond me to Colton who is sipping on the glass of red wine I poured for him. In Nico’s hand is a brown bag, containing take out from our favorite Thai place. 
“Ah…” He stammers. “Um, I thought I’d bring you dinner. Cause I thought you were working late like you said.” Troubled by guilt, I pinch my cheek between my teeth. I hadn’t wanted to tell him about Colton until I thought it was something real. I still don’t have an answer to that. “But you guys can have it instead.” He thrusts the bag out to me, avoiding my eyes. I can tell he is trying to hide how wounded he is.
“Neeks…” I reach out for his fingers. He pulls his hand away like my skin burns his.
“It’s… yeah. I’ll see you later.” 
“Nico.” I step out of the apartment, watching his pursuit to the elevator. Someone is getting off on my floor so he dashes in immediately. 
The ding of the elevator matches the light bulb illuminating above my brain. We may have never talked about forever, but we also never talked about seeing other people. 
Shit.
The next few weeks, I feel like a stranger to Nico for the first time in three years.
He heads out of town with the team a few times, ignoring every one of my attempts to reach out to him. He’s left me on read, clicked the ‘fuck you’ button when I called, and refused the delivery of my latest attempt: Swiss chocolate truffles.
“I don’t know what to do.” I say to Kristen Haula when we are munching on Avocado Toast and siping mimosas at brunch. “He won’t talk to me.” She shifts awkwardly in her seat.
“I think he was surprised to see you with someone. It’s been a year since you two started whatever… this… is. Plus you did lie to him about what you were doing.” Her eyes widened like she is walking a cautious line between what she knows and what she is willing to share. She isn’t wrong.
“I know. I wanted to know what things were going to be with Colton. But that’s over.” I shake my head, smoothing out the napkin in my lap. “I honestly never thought I was anything special to Nico. With his recent behavior, that seems more true than ever.” Kristen snorts.
“Seriously? How are you two so off base with your feelings?” I stare back at her blankly. “He ordered you a WAG jacket for playoffs this year.” My stomach drops to the floor. “Still think you aren’t anything to him?”
I shudder in recognition. Now this is serious. Casual girlfriends, friends with benefits, puck bunnies, etc- none of them get WAG jackets. Only the women the players see a long-term future with do. And Nico ordered me one. 
“Do you have the jackets yet?” I ask her after a big gulp of my mimosa.
“Yeah.”
“I need a favor.” 
- - -
It’s late when I get to Nico’s apartment the next night. Almost midnight, but he had a game and I couldn’t risk the jackets being seen yet. It’s the most exciting time of year for the NHL wives and girlfriends. I don’t want to ruin their fun while I swing for the fences to woo the Devils captain.
Nico’s doorman knows me and let me into the building with zero hesitation. Clearly, Nico hasn’t told them I’m not welcome anymore. A little bloom of hope fills my chest. Maybe I still have a chance.
My knock on Nico’s door is loud, disturbing the quiet both inside and outside of his space. I bite my lip, hearing his soft footsteps coming to the door. I look down during the pause of him glancing through the peep hole. My ears listen intently, begging for the click of the lock.
It happens. A small smile tugs my lips up. My confidence rushes back in.
“Hi.” I greet him immediately. “Please don’t shut the door.” I hold my hand up. Nico’s eyes are wide and he is speechless, staring at the WAG jacket he ordered for me. It’s gorgeous, made of black leather with red accents. His last name and number are huge on my back. Sparky studs are perfectly placed on the points of the bold letters. It fits perfectly, like I am the only one who could have ever worn it this well.
“I broke our deal.” I blurt out fast.
“What?”
“We said this wasn’t anything serious. But I fell in love with you a really long time ago. I was so scared to tell you and because of that I hurt you. I’m so sorry, Neeks.”
“Yeah, you looked really in love with me with that guy in your apartment.” He scoffs. He’s hurt. His thick eyebrows are furrowed and he will barely look at me.
“That’s not fair.” I shake my head at him. “You never.. told me about how you felt. Now you’re upset with me for having someone else over?” 
“I don’t understand how you could do… that. I can’t think about anybody but you.” 
“Did you consider maybe he was a distraction so I could finally think about somebody else but you Mr. Perfect?” He straightens, jaw getting rigid. He grips the door tighter like he’s preparing to shut it. “But it’s nothing with him. Nothing like what you and I could be. It’s over.” 
Nico looks down at the floor, then slowly drags his gaze back up my body, lingering here and there until his brown eyes get to mine. I can’t read him. I wish he would give me something. But if I have to leap all the way, I will for him.
“If it’s too late, I understand.” I whisper, heart beating so hard in my chest I’m confident he can hear it. “I can go back to what we were. I’ll be anything to you.” I whisper. He steps forward, reaching for my arms. He runs his fingers tentatively over the jacket, then steps forward even more to see his identifiers stitched onto my back. I look up at him, watching every flicker on his face as he brings it closer to mine.
“I want this. With you.” He murmurs, next to my ear. He presses his nose into my cheek. I wrap my hand around the back of his neck, turning so our lips collide. He keeps talking between our kisses. “Want my name all over you. On your back, on your driver’s license, right in front of mine as Y/N and Nico Hischier.” 
“Why did you wait so long to tell me?”
“Same reason you did. I’m scared to lose you.” He pulls back so he can look into my eyes. “This is not an easy life.. being with an NHL captain.”
“Cause it’s been so easy being friends with you.” I chuckle back. “I’m not afraid of hard work, Neeks. You know that.” He grins, then wraps his arms around me to bring me into his apartment.
There is nothing left for us to discuss.
This time, it’s clearly defined exactly what we are.
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pascallllllll1 · 2 years
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The Happiest Place On Earth
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Request: “Hi can I request a one shot where reader and Pedro Pascal have a daughter named Esmeralda? They go to Disney for the first time, they dress her up in a Grogu costume and go visit the Mando and everybody go crazy to see Pedro and his daughter.”
Pedro Pascal x Reader
Summary: follows the request above, I also made reader pregnant. Lots of fluff. Esmeralda’s age wasn’t specified so I made her like 4/5?
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: pregnancy, suggests smut but no actual smut.
Packing the last of the necessary items you’ll need for the day ahead in your backpack, you zip up the bag and readily set it by the front door of your room. Esmeralda had specifically requested that daddy book her in the fairytale suite so she could get her beauty rest like a real princess and being wrapped around her tiny finger Pedro went online later that day to book said room. The room your growing family of three is currently getting ready in. Cressessing your small bump you cross the room approaching your struggling husband who’s trying to fight your five year old into putting sunscreen on.
“NO DADDY!” She screeches, resisting his best efforts to apply the cream to her face and ears. 
“Princesa please, the quicker we finish this up the sooner we can leave and check out all the cool stuff.” He attempts to reason with her. Stubborn times such as this one remind you exactly how alike you both are, your living breathing karma of what you put your own parents through. You decide to throw Pedro a bone and come to his long awaited rescue. You fake gasp obnoxiously loud to catch your daughters attention;
“Oh. My. Gosh. Guess who I just found out is here?!” You ask Esmeralda dramatically, squatting eye level with her. Pedro laughs and moves over to make room for you next to him.
“Who?!” She asks, eyes widening in excitement.
“Grogu and Mando!!” You exclaim jumping up and bouncing around. Esmeralda screams at the information and launches herself forward tacking Pedro with a huff.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US DADDY!!!!”
“Careful,” You playfully chastise her. “Daddy’s getting old can’t be as rough with him or he’ll break on us.” You joke causing Esmeralda to throw her head back and fall over sideways exaggeratedly in a fit of laughter.
“I was gonna say sorry and give you your surprise mi hija but not if you two meanies are ganging up on me!” He pouts.
“Aw I’m sorry baby.” You coo, coming up to him to cup his face and kissing the patchy bald spot you love oh so much on his scruffy jaw.
“I promise to make you feel better later.” You whisper low enough for his ears only. Pedro closes his eyes and groans at your hidden meaning before standing to his full height and making his way over to his bag to dig for Esmeralda’s surprise. When he returns she’s waiting patiently trying to get a peak at plastic wrapped, outfit? tucked behind his back.
“IT’S A GROGU COSTUME!!!!!—“
“Wowww, inside voice please! I know it’s very exciting hun but there’s other people in the building.-“ He leans forward swooping Esmeralda up in his arms so she could further inspect the outfit.
“Sorry, daddy.”
“Thank you for apologising hun, it’s alright.” God he’s so patient and caring with her. Every time you witness this paternal side of Pedro feels like a gift. You really are the luckiest woman in the world blessed with the most loving, doting husband who excels at fatherhood beyond your wildest dreams and taking to it like a fish to water. This is it. Everything you’ve ever wished for is currently giggling to each other while dressing in the adorable costume. Your beautiful family, that soon but not nearly soon enough your baby boy will be joining.
“What do you think mommy, am I pretty?” Esmeralda asks, twirling around in a circle on one foot then posing with her hands on her hips. The large floppy green ears bounce and swing with every movement, she’s drowning in the baggy brown fabric of the robe, her bright pink converse sneakers peeking out from underneath, and wears a smile that says she’s never been happier.
“I think you look gorgeous baby, right daddy?” You ask teasingly, trying but ultimately failing to hold back a smirk. He crosses his arms and huffs. He’ll get you back for all your teasing later.
“Si te ves muy hermosa hija.” Pedro confirms smiling.
***
You follow and observe from behind while pushing Esmeralda’s wagon stroller as she leads your husband hand in hand through the bustling crowds towards the Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge attractions.
“Where would you like to go first, sweet girl?” Pedro asks, drawing Esmeralda’s wandering gaze to himself.
“I wanna make a lightsaber!!” She exclaims jumping up and down, her big ears slapping her face as she does causing both you and Pedro to laugh.
“Of course, let’s go head over there to… Black Spire Outpost.” He says pointing at the entrance of the workshop.
While Pedro pays for Esmeralda to do the activity you stand with your daughter admiring the beautifully staged rock cavern you're in. You’ve always loved and appreciated the Star Wars universe and its beauty. So many people and stories to explore within it that could continue going on infinitely. A warmth blossoms in your chest thinking about Pedro getting to be a part of that. He’d introduced everyone to a new character and without facial expression, only body language and tone of voice showed us the many layers and personality of The Mandalorian, Din Djarin. You are so insanely proud of him.
A kiss on your cheek and a hand drawing small circles on your belly brings you back to the present.
“Ok we’re all set, vamos!” Pedro announces giddily to which is met by loud cheers from your daughter.
The group you're with is small, usually that’s a positive but at the moment with such few faces amongst everyone to look at, your husbands very pretty and recognizable one is just that, more recognizable. You meet one of Savi’s Gatherers outside his workshop and Esmeralda chooses between four different hilts to build her lightsaber with, all having a different theme. Peace and Justice. Power and Control. Element Nature. Protection Defence. After hard consideration she diligently comes to the conclusion of choosing the Element Nature hilt which embodies the force, but mainly because she thought it was the coolest looking.
Next for the activity Esmeralda gets to choose a Kyber crystal, picking between red, blue, green and violet she confidently swipes the violet crystal.
“Now we get to put it together mommy!” She says smiling up at you with her crystal on display then runs to assemble the lightsaber with the help of her father. The process of putting everything together thankfully didn’t take long and in no time Esmeralda was wielding a blade of her own. By now you could feel the stares from those around you multiplying and you grab Pedro’s hand to signal his attention;
“Baby I think people are starting to notice who you are.” You speak quietly into his ear, playing it off like a playful kiss. He glances around inconspicuously and realises you’re right.
“Hey princesa, how ‘bout we go find some snacks, daddy’s getting hungry. Sound good babe?” He turns his head patiently waiting for confirmation from you. You peck his lips and respond with a, sounds good, and move to start making your way to the cantina cafe.
***
“Hi! could I get three small blue milks.. two roasted pork wrap Ronto Roasters and.. one grilled sausage, please!” You smile up at the cashier, she confirms your order and you tap your card on the scanner to pay then move closer to your family while you wait.
“Three small blue mills!” You grab your drinks thanking the worker and pass Esmeralda her own. She’s off in her own little world enthralled by the new strange drink.
“Babe,” Pedro says, getting your attention, then thanking you when you hand him his cup. You look up at him, eyebrows raising in question.
“People are starting to take photos and record, it’s only a matter of time before they start coming up to me-“
“-Two roasted pork wraps and one grilled sausage wrap!” Pedro sighs, moving over to grab the food, smiling at and thanking the worker again. He passes the food out and Esmeralda continues to zone out of yours and Pedro’s conversation and focus on the food set in front of her.
“How about you and Esmeralda finish up here and head towards a gift shop, I know she wants to grab some stuff for home. I’ll go use the washroom and walking around alone gives the fans some time to approach me without interfering with family time. I’ll come meet up with you both after a few photos.”
“Works with me.” You agree, smiling.
“Esmeralda, you wanna go space shopping while daddy goes pee?” The question has her snapping her head up at you and rushing to clean up her mess from eating.
“Ya! Ya! Let’s go, mommy!” She reaches for your hand not being used to push the stroller to hold and moves to leave, yelling over her shoulder to her dad;
“Don’t pee your pants, daddy! Mommy won’t be there to clean you up!” Pedro lets out an obnoxiously loud belly laugh that makes you giggle back at him before letting your daughter pull you down the path towards the promise of toys. After you and Esmeralda leave Pedro unwrap his food and scarfs it down quickly on his way to the washroom.
Esmeralda spends 20 minutes sorting through the many different options to bring home with her in Dok-Ondar’s Den of Antiquities. By the time the two of you make it up to the cash register she’s piling shirts, stuffies, one lanyard, a handful of pins and a few toys onto the checkout counter. When you paid the outrageous cost for her small hoard of items you tried to reason with yourself that it was Esmeralda’s first trip to Disney, special occasion means special treatment, right? As you’re walking out of the shop you spot Pedro finishing up with some fans a few feet ahead of you. Immediately, Esmeralda spots her daddy and is rushing over to him and jumping up into his arms.
“Daddy! I wanna show you all my new toys!” The group of people now forming around Pedro laugh and gush over your precious daughter, commenting on how much she resembles him. Esmeralda, like her father, soaks up with attention like a sponge and loves every second of it. As far as she’s concerned this group of people are for her and not her father. They all adore her Grogu outfit and one person tells Pedro he should’ve dressed as Mando to match.
“It’s always a pleasure to meet all of you and I’m sorry I can’t stick around longer but I have to get back to my family now. Everyone have a good time and enjoy yourselves!“ Pedro waves and smiles to everyone, carrying Esmeralda back over to you and continuing on in a new direction.
“How was that?” You ask him curiously. He turns to you and huffs out a breath;
“Good. I love getting to meet and interact with my fans, I wouldn’t be anywhere without their support. But sometimes I wish I could draw that line of time and place a little more clearly to them, ya know.” He shares with you. You nod in agreement and wrap an arm around his waist to comfort him.
“Yeah, I get it.” You say staring up at him. He leans down and softly kisses your lips letting them hover after.
“Ew! No kissing!” Esmeralda gasps grossed out before falling into a fit of laughter. Pedro attacks your face in kisses to bug her more and all you can do is laugh and enjoy this time with your family.
“Ok! Ok! Ah, ok!! Let’s go check out something else, huh?” You question both the Pascal’s before you.
“Falcon one next!”
“To the Millennium Falcon, vamos mi familia!!!” Pedro shouts with a loud clap of his hands.
The three of you spent the rest of the day exploring the galaxy via rides and interactive activities, gorging yourselves on as many sweet treats as your bodies could handle. Later that night you’d reward your husband and show him how much you appreciated what a perfect father and spouse he was. Meanwhile twitter and Instagram would become flooded with photos of your family adventuring Disney, Esmeralda as Grogu causing fans to go wild.
Open to requests!!
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if you’re still doing jamie asks can you do like a secret romance thing where they’ve been dating (or however you want it to go) but like sneaking around? And maybe somebody finally finds out? I loooove your stuff honestly it makes me smiley
(i'm so happy people are liking my jamie stuff. i was scared i wasn't doing him justice!)
You always prided on not dating any coworkers. But stupid Jamie Tartt with his adorably stupid face just had to fuck it all up for you.
You never wanted people to think less of you for dating a colleague, especially one of higher status. So when you, Higgins' assistant, started dating Jamie, AFC Richmond's prized striker, you informed him upfront that your relationship couldn't be public.
Thus the sneaking around.
You'd give each other knowing looks, sneak kisses in the boot room if Will wasn't around. Had a few quickies in some storage room a few times. It was all so...exhilarating. The thrill of getting caught, knowing anyone could find you out. It was exciting...at least in the beginning.
After a while, it became tiresome. Jamie started asking if you two could ever go public. Not even public - public, just the team, coaches, and Rebecca. As much as you wanted to...that fear still stuck with you. The fear and anxiety of people giving you judgmental looks, questioning everything that you do. You couldn't stand the hypothetical version of it, how would you deal with it in real life?
It frustrated Jamie to no end. He loved you so much, he wanted to brag about you to anyone and everyone. Why won't you let him? Were you ashamed? Did you really not love him as much as he loves you?
Jamie's own anxieties started to build up as well, unbeknownst to you. So when Jamie broke things off with you, you were surprised. Okay, well not really. You had a feeling why he broke things off, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
Fuck it.
The only person you knew you could talk about this with was Keeley. So after a few days post-break up, you head over to her place. You now stand there at her door, knocking on her door. When it opens, it reveals-
"Jamie?" who stands there shirtless, wearing only joggers.
You knew Jamie and Keeley dated previously, you just didn't think he'd go running to her in an instant.
You scoff, "Well that didn't take long." You turn on your heel, already digging out your car keys, but Jamie rushes in front of you with his hands out.
"Please, this isn't what it looks like!"
"Why else would you be shirtless at your ex-girlfriend's, Jamie?!"
"I spilled wine on my shirt and Keeley threw it in the wash for me, I swear!"
"Y/N!" Keeley rushes out, looking at you with pleading eyes, "I promise nothing happened! Jamie was just telling me about-about you two and the break-up."
You pout a little, "That's why I came here."
Jamie shrugs, "Beat you to it."
Keeley grabs your hand and Jamie's, "I think you guys should talk things out, yeah?" she pulls the both of you back into her place. She gestures for you to sit on the couch, "I'll be upstairs to give you privacy."
Once you hear Keeley shut a door, you sigh, "I made a promise to myself to never date someone I work with. I've seen colleagues in the past receive such horrible treatment and was judged a lot by our peers. I never wanted to put myself in that position. But you made it so easy to fall for you. I was scared of being judged for loving you, but I lost you to my own insecurities. That's why I didn't want people to know."
Jamie gives a nod, "A bit stupid to think that. Everyone loves you." he looks down, fidgeting with the fabric of his pants, "Thought maybe you were ashamed of me or somethin'."
"I've never and will never be ashamed of you, Jamie. You're an amazing and wonderful man. On and off the pitch. I'm sorry I made it seem that way."
"Thank you."
"I would like to get back together, because I love you so so much. We can tell the team, Rebecca, Higgins, everyone."
He shakes his head, "Not if you're ready."
"I think I've been ready for a while. Just had to get my head out of my ass."
"Your right sexy ass," Jamie responds with a grin.
You smile, "We're okay?" you offer your hand out to him.
"More than okay," he places his hand in yours, fingers intertwining with yours.
"AAAWW GUUUYS!" Keeley cries out as she rushes over to you two, hugging you both.
"I thought you were giving us privacy?" Jamie asks with a smirk.
She shrugs, "Well, I didn't hear any yelling and thought perhaps you ended up fucking, which I'm kind of disappointed you aren't." She holds out Jamie's shirt, "This would be yours."
Jamie takes it and pulls it over his head. He grabs the rest of his things and slips his hand into yours, "Let's go."
Keeley pouts, "Leaving already?"
"Yeah. Gonna have some makeup sex with me girlfriend, 'cause that's what she is, me girlfriend. Me sexy and beautiful girlfriend."
You snort, "You're gonna be so annoying for the next week, aren't you?"
"So fucking annoying," he smirks, pecking your lips and waving to Keeley, "Cheers, Keeley!"
"Bye Keels! And thank you!"
"I didn't do anything, but you're welcome! Love you!"
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marimayscarlett · 2 months
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hi! :) since fans have gotten richard and paul those paulchard flags, banners, pieces of fabric (you know what i mean) during the boat ride a few shows ago, i'm a bit cautious about people taking things a little ... further than they have been before
in my understanding, in fandom spaces, it's mostly agreed upon to keep shipping stuff in those fandom spaces and away from the band members/real life. i say mostly, because people that go overboard are everywhere, and we don't know what kind of stuff the band has been exposed to in the past during meet and greets, signing sessions and so on. on the other hand, i'm not really on instagram, so i don't know what has been going on over there. nevertheless, i've read something about a past girlfriend of richard having been harassed on insta around 2019 when richard and paul first started kissing after ausländer – don't know if i remember that one correctly, though. and with paul being in a long-term relationship, i feel a bit weird about people bringing the shipping name up close to them; or maybe that's just me? i was wondering about how the behavior of one fan might encourage another ones behavior encouraging someone else even further, and so on. though i'm fully aware that everyone is responsible for their own actions. am i taking things too seriously? the band has had years of experience with fans and popularity after all, and i can imagine them being careful with, for example, searching certain things up online
i was curious about your point of view on all this :)
Hey,
Thank you for your detailed message, which I find really balanced and thoughtful! It's an interesting topic, and I've often thought about it, as well as the Paulchard ship itself. I might ramble a bit, sorry.
First of all, I have to admit that I was a bit taken aback when I saw the footage with the flags, as this was the first time a direct contact about this to the band was made. It felt like a fourth wall was being broken - kind of hard to describe. I'm convinced that both of them have some concept of what Paulchard or shipping in general is - Richard had fanfiction/slash explained to him in this interview once and seemed quite neutral, almost positive, about it. Additionally, they both display a clear affection for each other outwardly, so it shouldn't be surprising that specific shipping structures develop from that. I think the dynamic between Paul and Richard is so interesting and attractive to many because a lot has happened in their history. Close collaboration and friendship from the start (x), intense disagreements, fundamentally different personality traits, fiery tempers, strong opinions (x), and yet they seem to have found their way back to each other on a personal level, thanks in part to external mediation (for example by Schneider). They appear to be an emotional support for each other on tour; I get the impression Richard needs this closeness or expressed affection, and Paul seems to have a sense of what his counterpart needs and shows Richard his appreciation, whether on stage or backstage. It's just lovely to see how they've developed over the decades. Their relationship has such a strong humanity with a wide range of emotions, and coupled with the displayed tenderness, it's just very good shipping material, objectively speaking.
I had a feeling that there would be some kind of confrontation about the topic at some point, especially since 2019. I'm glad it was such a 'tame' approach, a sweet flag with a drawing and a heart (even though a drawing of the two without the 'Paulchard forever' would have sufficed). Still, I think this step is enough, and there shouldn't be more actions like this. Rubbing it in their faces more would be unnecessary and unneeded. This is where common sense should kick in. The fact is that Paul and Richard are not together; regarding their sexuality, it's not my place to make definitive statements, but Paul has been with Arielle for ages, and Richard has had numerous longer and shorter relationships with women. So, comments on IG, whether on family members', partners', or Paul and Richard's accounts, are absolutely inappropriate, disrespectful, and detached from reality. We mustn't forget that these are real people with real relationships and feelings, and we really don't need to rub it in their faces. I think shipping in fandom circles is fine, but there must be respect for the individuals in direct interactions, and family members should definitely be kept out of it.
As I said, I found the flag cute and sweet, but more doesn't need to happen imo. I'm also a bit worried that this might inspire others to do something that is too much, which I hope won't happen. In conclusion, I must commend both Richard and Paul for how they handled the situation. Both were mildly interested and took the flag without making a big deal out of it.
Thank you to @m---e---l for gathering some thoughts about this ask and discussing this with me 🤍
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bella-rose29 · 7 months
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Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 11
Word count: 3.8k
Warnings: making out to the point of hickeys and low level states of undress (don't read if you're not particularly comfortable with it, it's pretty early on and you don't really need it for the rest to make sense 👍), swearing, reader's mother (Emma) is a gem and loves teasing them, lockwood's hands (and ring), I have no idea what came over me to make me write this (I was probably thinking about his hands let's be real)
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“I just don’t understand how they never gave themselves away,” Y/n said while she and Anthony got ready for bed. 
He was in the bathroom, so she’d had to raise her voice a little in order to be heard. When he didn’t respond immediately, she frowned at the closed door. “Anthony? You alright?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m alright, darling.” She heard shuffling and then the click of the door as it opened, and he stepped out, dressed in his pyjamas. 
“Still can’t believe you have matching sets of grandpa pyjamas,” she snorted, moving over to the bathroom. 
“You love my matching sets of grandpa pyjamas,” he called as she started brushing her teeth. “And as for how they never gave themselves away, I imagine they were all waiting for the moment they could finally breathe again. Your mother especially, did you see how tightly she hugged me earlier? I thought she might crush my ribs.”
“You’re so dramatic, Ant,” Y/n replied after spitting out the toothpaste. She washed her mouth out, flicked the light off in the bathroom, and headed for the bed. Anthony was already sat on his side, the covers pulled back for her to get in, and she curled up next to him. His arm automatically came around her body, fingers burying in the fabric of her (his) top. 
“You love that too,” he said, pressing a kiss to her head. She hummed, burying her face in his chest and swinging her legs over his. The afternoon had been peaceful after Steph and Linda had finally left (although not without a lot of pointing fingers, empty threats, and slammed doors), with Y/n’s family asking questions about their relationship and wanting the real answers this time, and her father had received a call saying that the roads would be clear in the next day or so, and there was a limited train service starting up not too long after that. The storm had blown over faster than people had anticipated, but with the limited technology they had for weather readings, anybody’s guess could be the official report. They had booked tickets on the first train back in four days time, and Y/n knew that both her and Anthony were looking forward to getting back to Portland Row. 
“You know,” she started, feeling her eyes start to close when he started threading his fingers through her hair. His other hand was on her thigh, just above her knee. “We should probably think about what we’re gonna do when we get back. About the whole ‘we don’t hate each other now and we’re actually dating’ thing.”
“Oh, that’s a good point. Maybe we just… don’t say anything, like your family? And see how long it takes for them to bring it up?”
“Ant, why would we do that?”
“Because it’s funny?” It was a rhetorical question, and she could feel him smiling from the way his jaw shifted over her head. His fingers hadn’t left her hair, and the hand on her thigh had edged upwards slightly while they’d been talking. 
“I suppose it would be quite funny, wouldn’t it?” she mused, nudging her leg further into his grip subconsciously. He hadn’t taken off the ring he always wore, and it was cold against her skin. 
“See, I’m winning you over,” he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. 
“You missed,” she murmured, sitting up a little and opening her eyes. 
“Missed?”
“Yeah.” She took his face in her hands, nudging her nose against his before kissing him. When she pulled back after a few seconds he automatically followed her, eyes still closed while he searched for her lips again. “Anthony,” she breathed, feeling his breath fan over her face. He surged forward, his grip on her thigh tightening a little while the hand that had been in her hair slid down and cupped her cheek as he kissed her.   She brought her hand to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his pyjama shirt and gasping when he deepened the kiss, and she thought she might pass out from how gentle yet desperate he was. She could feel it, how he was holding back and taking it slow, but the fire that burned in her needed more, making her shift in his lap so she was straddling his hips, and if she could take the sound he made when she did so and bottle it up to keep forever, she would. 
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he whispered between kisses, tilting his head slightly to press his mouth to her cheek, and then her jaw, and then her neck. 
“I hope not,” she replied, burying her hands in his hair when he kissed a spot on her neck that made her feel like she was in heaven. “I quite like having you around, actually.”
“Yeah?” He made his way back up her neck, his hand hot and searing where it sat on her thigh. She met his eyes, the half-closed lids and blown pupils combined with his swollen lips making the fire burn hotter, and kissed him sweetly. 
“Yeah.” His hair was a mess, but he’d never looked more beautiful than in this moment, the golden glow of the bedside lamp highlighting his features and casting long shadows at the same time, and she threaded her fingers through the mop of hair that was starting to stick to his forehead. “Just promise me something?”
“Anything,” he said, not waiting for her to finish. She thought she could live on the way he was looking at her, like she was the only thing he had ever wanted and he needed her to breathe. 
“Stay alive for me? When we get back? You can’t keep- you can’t keep being so reckless with your- your life. Anthony.” He’d trailed the hand that had rested on her cheek down her side, and had gripped her hips with both hands, his fingers curling into the fabric of the shirt she was wearing and bunching it up slightly. 
“Sorry, darling.” She supposed she could forgive him when his voice was so low and hoarse, and his fingers were creeping under the top to stroke her skin. “I promise I’ll live for you.” The next kiss burned, filled with the weight of what he’d just sworn, and it was only when they couldn’t hold their breath for any longer that they finally pulled away for air. “I promise,” he whispered into her skin, dragging her closer by his grip on her waist. “I promise.” His hand was drifting upwards slowly, the cold metal of his ring a stark contrast to the heat of their bodies, and she knew he was waiting for her to tell him it was alright. His lips had barely left hers, and when she took her hands out of his hair to start undoing the buttons on his shirt she felt his breath hitch. 
“This okay?” she asked, smiling when he nodded eagerly, leaning back in for another kiss. He was drunk on her, she was sure, but she wasn’t exactly sober herself. Eventually he decided she was moving too slowly, taking the bottom of his top into his own hands and doing it himself. The next few minutes were frantic, Anthony’s shirt discarded on the floor by the bed and hers on the way to joining it, hands travelling over skin in an attempt to know every inch of each other. When he lifted her up and laid her on her back, settling between her legs while he braced himself on one arm and held her with the other, she knew she was doomed. 
~~~
The next morning, Emma was on tea duty. 
She and Ben took turns making teas for the family in the morning, and as she traipsed upstairs with a full tray of mugs (after depositing two in her parents’ bedroom downstairs) she yawned, hoping that everyone was at least a little bit awake so that she could go back to bed and read her book. John was first, bleary-eyed and scratching his side like a monkey, and he took his tea with a very sleepy “Mornin’ Mum”, the door closing in her face as soon as he had a grip on the handle of the mug. Then was Sam and Will, who were being made to share, and as she had expected Will was the opposite of John, wide awake and already dressed, reading in bed with the small lamp on so that he didn’t wake Sam. “Thanks, Mum,” he’d smiled, planting a kiss on her cheek and kicking the door shut after taking his and Sam’s teas. Tom was in the library with his colouring (she had to stop and put down the plastic mat so that he didn’t accidentally colour the furniture), and he barely acknowledged her presence when she left the mug on the table nearby and told him to be careful. Olivia wasn’t awake, so Emma left the mug on her bedside table and pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead before creeping back out and moving on to the last room before her own. 
A soft knock was normally enough to alert Y/n, telling her that the teas were ready, but when after roughly thirty seconds nobody appeared at the door, Emma frowned, balanced the tray on her hip, and gently pushed open the door. “Oh,” she whispered to herself upon seeing her eldest daughter and Anthony curled up in bed together, both sound asleep. 
She’d figured that the two of them weren’t actually dating after they’d first arrived, although at the time she’d thought it was more that they were in a rough patch and were attempting to hide it. They’d argued over who was taking the suitcase in, for crying out loud! But then Anthony had gone and comforted her after Steph had made comments that forced Y/n upstairs, and Emma had been confused again. When Olivia had been helping her get dinner ready that first night, she’d put forward the idea that maybe they weren’t together, and Y/n just felt that she couldn’t turn up without a boyfriend to a huge gathering where everybody thought she was in a relationship. Then things had started making sense, like the way Y/n had looked stiff in his arms for the first few days, or how she would glare at Anthony instead of gazing lovingly at him like Emma knew she herself did with Ben. 
At some point something had changed, though, because now they were apparently actually together. She, along with everyone else, had spent the afternoon yesterday questioning the young couple on pretty much everything, including why the hell they hated each other in the first place. Anthony had gone bright red, apologising profusely for his behaviour, and then Y/n had interrupted and said that she should be the one apologising, and then the pair of them had traded such love-struck looks that it made even Emma want to throw up a little. She was planning on getting the photo albums out today, since she had been so scared of revealing that she knew the truth before that she hadn’t fully settled in to the role of Embarrassing Mother. She’d wanted Y/n to feel that she could come forward in her own time, and the situation was sticky enough as it was with Steph and Linda (she frowned at the memory of how poorly her sister and niece had acted) making comments and embarrassing Y/n that Emma had taken a step back. Now, however, there was no hiding. Anthony would be seeing all of the photos of Y/n as a baby, and that was that. 
She would have a field day at breakfast, too, if her assumptions were correct. 
From what she could tell as she put the cups of tea on the bedside table and had a quick look around the room, neither Anthony nor Y/n were wearing tops, and in the dim light of the room she could tell that there were definitely marks on both of their necks. She smiled to herself, pressing a kiss to Y/n’s shoulder, and tiptoed out of the room. 
~~~
When Anthony woke up, the first thing he thought was how comfortable he was. 
He opened his eyes, rubbing lazily to try and clear away the last remnants of sleep, and he realised that Y/n was lying with her back to him and he had wrapped an arm around her waist in an effort to meld their bodies into one. Their legs were tangled together under the duvet, his pyjama-clad ones mixed with her short-wearing ones, and it was no wonder he hadn’t been able to breath too well when he’d first woken up, because his face had been buried in her neck. 
Her neck. 
His eyes widened as he took in the state of her skin, littered in small marks (and one or two larger ones), and he knew that he would most likely be murdered when she woke up. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth at the memory of last night, though, and all the kisses they had shared. They hadn’t gone much further than that, both deciding it was far too early and far too risky in a house that was shared by most of her immediate family, but Anthony could have died a happy man after that. 
He wouldn’t, of course, because he’d promised her last night that he would live. 
He took note then of the two mugs of steaming tea on the bedside table, and realised that someone must have come in and placed them there not too long ago. Then he realised that whoever it had been had probably seen the hickeys on Y/n’s neck. “Shit,” he mumbled, closing his eyes briefly in an attempt to gather strength. It would be fine. Maybe they hadn’t been able to see clearly in the darkness of the room? But then again some of them were pretty large, and there wasn’t much chance of them being missed. Y/n was going to kill him. 
She was waking up now, he could tell from the way her breathing changed and her body shifted, and she stretched out her legs and twisted in his arms to face him. “Good morning, darling.”
“Mornin’ Schmoopie.”
“I thought that name was banned?”
“Banned for you. I can use it.”
“Ah, I see.” He smiled into her forehead, pressing his lips to the skin in tiny kisses. “Did you sleep alright?” She hummed her assent, eyes still closed while she nestled further into him. He wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating.
“Did you?”
“Yeah. Best sleep I’ve had for a while.” It had felt like he’d blinked and gone from the after-effects of last night to waking up with her in his arms this morning. 
“That’s good. Can I smell tea?”
“Yes, although I don’t know who it was that brought it in; I was still asleep.”
“Probably Mum,” she said, groaning and sitting up. Anthony watched her for a moment, small smile on his face as he took in her sleepy expression, then followed suit. He went to say something, but the movement of his body sitting up had pulled the duvet away and down the bed, and all thoughts went out of his head. “Shit, it’s cold in here,” Y/n hissed, putting down the mug she’d just picked up in favour of wrapping the blankets back around her torso. She paused when she realised Anthony had frozen and gone red, and frowned at the face he was making. “Are you… alright? You look a bit… I dunno. Weird.”
“What? Oh, I’m…” he swallowed thickly and met her eyes, immediately looking away again and studying the wall opposite the bed. “I’m fine.”
“Okay… I’ll pass your tea over if you want it?”
“Thank you.” He still wasn’t looking at her, although he did remove his gaze from the wall to ensure he held the mug correctly, and a slightly awkward pause followed. 
“You didn’t put your top back on last night.” He heard her choke on her tea and pressed his hand over his eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean- I just- you-” he sighed, giving up on coming up with an excuse that would explain his previous statement. 
“Of course I didn’t put it back on, I was way too warm,” she said once she’d recovered. “Wait. Were you staring at my chest?” When he didn’t answer and instead kept his gaze fixed on the tea he held she let out a laugh. “You didn’t seem bothered last night by me not wearing a top.” Now it was his turn to choke, and he had to set down his mug before he spilled the liquid. When he finally turned to look at her she had a smug grin on her face, sipping her tea while she watched him with amusement dancing in her eyes. 
“That- that was different!”
“Different how?”
“I- you- it just was!” He wished the ground would swallow him up. Y/n snorted, taking a larger gulp of tea. 
“I’m teasing, Anthony. You don’t have to look so terrified.” He didn’t think she would ever let him live this down. He had just taken his first drink of tea when he heard her curse softly. “Ant?”
“Yeah?” He looked over at her, brows drawing together. “What is it?” She bit her lip, eyes focused on something below his face. “Y/n?”
“You, uh… you’ve got…” she gestured vaguely to his neck, hesitating a moment before touching a finger to the skin just above his collarbone. It hit him, then, what she was referring to. 
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you leave marks on my neck last night?”
“… yeah?”
“Well we’re in deep shit.”
“… why?”
“I… might have done the same…” he trailed off, his voice growing quieter with every word, and she could only stare at him. 
“Anthony.”
“Hmm?”
“Anthony. Please tell me you’re joking.” He didn’t say anything, instead taking another sip of his tea. “Anthony, if it was Mum that came in and did tea this morning then we are screwed because there is no way she didn’t see. Anthony answer me.”
“I’m not joking, sorry.” He couldn’t help but smile at her exasperated groan that followed, and he opened his mouth to speak again. “Although you didn’t seem bothered by me kissing your neck last night,” he said, using her earlier words against her. This time it was his turn to be smug, and he laughed when she lightly slapped his chest. “What? You rather enjoyed it from what I remember.”
“Your memory is wrong,” she grumbled, finishing off her tea. 
“I don’t think it is, darling, but whatever you say.” 
~~~
“Good morning love birds! Did you two sleep alright?” Emma chirped when Anthony and Y/n walked into the kitchen. She noted the slight flushed look to both of them (particularly Anthony who had gone a wonderful shade of pink that she didn’t think she’d seen before), and then the poor attempts at covering up the marks that decorated their necks. 
“Oh, uh, yeah. Thank you.” Y/n looked like a deer in headlights, sitting down on a bar stool and smiling when her father placed a plate of food in front of her. “Thanks,” she muttered, picking up a fork and digging in. Anthony was apparently dealing with everything a lot better than Y/n, already engaged in conversation with John and Sam about something while he entertained Tom at the same time. Emma was glad that he was here, especially given how stressful Steph and Linda were, and she could tell that her eldest daughter was far better off with him in her life. He really cared about her, most likely better than Emma ever had, and while it stung to think that he was doing the job that she should have done, she was happy that Y/n had someone that she lived with to rely on. 
“Are you sure, dear? You look quite tired, I don’t imagine you did much sleeping.” She did feel a little bit of remorse at her teasing, but it was too funny watching Y/n squirm in embarrassment while she tried to come up with something to say. Even Anthony was blushing now from his place on Y/n’s right. Besides, this was her first experience with being the Embarrassing Mother, and if she needed to she would explain herself to her daughter later. 
“Did you do tea rounds this morning?” Y/n blurted instead, her brow furrowing. 
“I did… where is this going?”
“Oh, no reason. It’s fine,” she said, entirely unconvincingly. 
“Right, well eat up. Anthony, I’m showing you the photo albums after breakfast!”
“Mum, please don’t, I can’t take any more of this,” pleaded Y/n, but Emma just chuckled. 
“I just want him to see some of the previous Christmases we’ve had!”
“Personally,” Anthony chimed in, “I would love to see the photo albums, Emma. It sounds like a wonderful way to spend the morning.” His grin could only be described as shit-eating, and Emma loved it. 
She loved it even more when Y/n groaned and held her head in her hands. 
~~~
“And here- what was happening here? Oh yes, she’d managed to get her head stuck in the railings of the bannister, only three years old!”
“So you took a picture before helping your three year old daughter out of the bannisters?” Y/n asked her mother incredulously, not enjoying the way Anthony was studying every single photo of her as a baby. They had already been here for roughly forty minutes, and they weren’t even a third of the way through the album. 
“Well you don’t look too bothered, darling. In fact, you look like you’re having a whale of a time, look how big that smile is!”
“Shut up,” she mumbled, cuddling closer into his side. His laughter warmed her, and suddenly she didn’t mind so much that he was being promised copies of some of these photos. She knew that her mother knew about the marks on both of their necks, too, her suspicions confirmed after the whole fiasco at breakfast (there had been many more innuendos and exaggerated winks), but she didn’t mind that too much either. How could she, when Anthony was burning brighter than the sun right now, with his smile that lit up every room he walked into (or even walked past) and his easy charm? How could she be upset when he was sat so close to her, holding her to him so gently yet so tightly, as though he were afraid that at any moment she might disappear? 
No, she was happy. Not about the current photo of her with cake smushed all over her face and outfit at her friend’s 4th birthday party, but generally, she was happy. Steph and Linda were gone, Anthony was here, and in a few days they would be back home with Lucy, and George, and Holly too when she came over. 
For the first time in years, she was truly happy. And she could owe it all to Anthony Lockwood. 
part 12 (final part)
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I don't think I'm missing anyone but there are so many people that I honestly can't say for sure, so if you want to be added to the tag list for the final part (and maybe... other... special posts... that might be written in the future... 👀), then let me know! <3
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