#I think I’m autistic/gen

[kimmie-nimmie]

I’m gonna go kms rq :l

[sweet-jolly-fucken-ranchers]

desperately doing shadow work because I’ve become hyper fixated on rise of teenage mutant ninja turtles and I know when I have a hyper fixation on media instead of hobbies I’m neglecting a part of myself and looking for escapism

[canisvesperus]

:D

[fumifooms]

Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human

Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like it’s weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isn’t that weird?

Well, of course it depends on the way it’s done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.

Because some people don’t understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer “autism! Autism!” whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Here’s a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. I’m not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think it’s notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, it’s even more alienating to not know that there’s a reason why you’re different, being gaslit that you’re ‘normal’ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you weren’t “wrong” all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma you’ve built up over time. Like it’s world shattering.

So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though we’re right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world. 

Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesn’t diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very “My experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead I’ll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring way”.

“I was treated like a failed human my entire life and you’re surprised that my response was to become a dog.” -Patricia Taxxon

It’s literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many,  I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why he’s everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isn’t super long though.

To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.

Paper: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027 

“Dogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groups”, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didn’t get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since it’s a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.

For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they don’t really mask how they feel, it’s direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions. 

There’s also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you don’t have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dog’s ears!

I think there’s def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so it’s not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a “I like sleeping besides animals” situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. He’s just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they weren’t all that compatible and he accepted that.

There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.

More about autism & empathy:

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/ (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.) 

^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/  For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the “anthromorphizing and asd” section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I won’t get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi it’s not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldn’t typically do with a friend or family member. I’ll talk about qpr and labels another day though.

I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, “cis by default because I don’t care all that much but if I were to dig deeper I’m probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/woman” sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairies’ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black  void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, it’s weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laios’ character. It’s because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.

Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that you’re friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that it’s also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dog’s way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.

Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like you’re doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.

And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying “You’re sick and tired of the human world”. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isn’t as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.

Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because they’re socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that they’re not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. It’s idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.

And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more “why” then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but it’s all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.

So when I post this

I mean it. I really mean it when I say he’s me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly. 

Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think that’s a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.

If you enjoyed this you’ll probably like some of my other Laios analysis!  Here’s an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And here’s an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.

[plounce]

rob plounce's ffxiv fic reclist

this will update as i continue to find stuff i enjoy. (it also exists as a page on my desktop blog!)

disclaimer: this is just stuff i’ve read that i’ve enjoyed! i have my own favorite characters and pairings, so my reclist skews heavily towards those. i’m not super into in wolshipping, so there won’t be much of that, sorry! i have not read everything in every pairing and character tag, so don’t take this as a comprehensive guide. these are just things that i liked and think are worth reading.

fics are noted with wordcount, pairing (or as gen), and rating (e = explicit). * means it's been recently added to the list.

spoilers ahoy!

scions

*flight of an anorak (17k+, G) gen - urianger childhood backstory fic with transfem urianger! incredibly well-characterized urianger narration. breaks my heart and brings a smile to my face with every update.

lost and found (8.8k, T). gen, light moenuri - you know how moenbryda’s parents basically adopted urianger after they basically abandoned him? this fic is about that. also urianger autism :)

while eating (2.2k, G) gen - more baby autistic urianger with bastard parents. sob. at least moenbryda’s parents are there.

foster (1k, G) gen - pre-canon, thancred overhears fourchenault and louisoix talking about him.

second impression (4.8k, T) gen - fourchenault is a bit more of a classist bastard than in canon and is a dick to thancred, but gets past it. mostly. thancred does his best.

the stars in their abundance (2.7k, T) gen - pre-canon from the perspective of g'raha’s mom in corvos!

cross (1.1k, G) gen - minfilia and thancred clean up the mess of thancred’s possession.

your song, carried onwards (4.9k, G) gen - thancred’s rescue of alisaie from the WoD in the hvw patches.

a stranger in the woods (4.3k, E) thancred/marcechamp - you know, the guy from tailfeather in heavensward? they hook up. thancred gets taken care of.

dust in your eyes (8.8k, T). background ships include wolchefant, wolcred, and haurchefant/urianger, but is mostly about thancred being a sad bastard who is always too slow, too late, and trying to be his best self but not totally succeeding. and haurchefant being a great guy. good character stuff.

how massive is the spirit in us (2.2k, G) gen - ryne character introspection… makes my heart hurt.

testing the waters (1.8k, G) gen - thancred teaches ryne to swim.

the shimmering light (2k, G) gen, light thanuri - urianger settling into the bookman’s shelves. fun il mheg worldbuilding.

almost crystal, almost ascian (10k, T) gen - minfilia and the exarch meet up a few times over the course of a century. their parallelisms. the horror of being “minfilia.”

off the hook, provisionally (974, G) gen - y'shtola talks to the exarch in the wake of 5.0 about his deception.

among the shelves (5k, G). gen - the twins and ryne hang out and talk about the other scions.

portentous news (842, G) gen - urianger’s first morning on the moon in the middle of endwalker.

adventures in unlikely friendship (23k, T) gen - wol+cred friendship! i really like these. the bozja one is delightful. passively-suicidal bestiessss

void parsley sojourn (4k, T) gen, light thanuri - urianger hotboxes the rising stones. very charming depiction of urianger as a weed nerd. makes me laugh and smile every time i read it!

there is (maybe) an ascian among us (11k, T) gen, minor side pairings - post-endwalker, the scions try to get to the bottom of a conspiracy about thancred, who just wants to grill for gods sake! comedy.

two scions walks into a bar… (26k, T) gen, but eventually thanuri - a series where the author intended to just analyze and write about thancred & urianger’s relationship as gen, but then slid into shipping lmao. covers ARR-early STB with a bit of post-SHB. great character work for both of them!

respite, despite (25k, T) thanuri - urianger pining from pre-5.0 to the close of endwalker… good pining, good urianger misery, good romance. wagh!

erasing all the lines in the sand (30k, E) thanuri - mutual pining, miscommunication, coparenting! bookman’s shelves fic.

(in parantheses) (9.9k, M) thanuri - thancred's rescuing of minfilia, time in the first, and the mental stress that emet-selch gives him due to ascian trauma during shadowbringers. also getting together with urianger.

sleepy-eyed soldier (4.6k, M) thanuri - elidibus puppetting ardbert's body brings thancred’s ptsd over having his body used by lahabrea roaring back to the surface in the form of nightmares and hypervigilance. (mind the CWs)

trouble in paradise (2.3k, E) thanuri - transfem urianger!!!! :D :D :D great kind-of-an-asshole thancred character work. hurting each other but trying to fix it.

sole conundrum (412, G) thanuri - pre-edw garlemald scouting mission. urianger autism :D

three of swords reversed (3.2k, T) thanuri, moenuri - urianger dealing with grief over moenbryda and thancred in the later half of endwalker.

another sunrise (5.8k, T) thanuri - post-edw wanderings - urianger deals with a mystery, sudden solitude, and a crisis of doubt! ends happily.

take root in this barren soil (and grow back stronger) (7.4k, E) thanuri - thancred shares what the training regimen of a sharlayan spy entails, not expecting urianger to react so strongly.

to wander is a dream (46k, M) thanuri - post-edw. i don’t tend to enjoy hanahaki fics but this fic is so so so good. thancred being an emotionally stunted asshole, urianger being the world’s most beautiful martyr (for better or for worse), lots of fae stuff, both of them struggling to not be repressed.

why do we forbear? (9.3k, E) thanuri - modern au fake dating, which would usually not appeal to me but this one’s real cute. (currently unfinished)

*to care for those we love (11k, T) ryne and her parents, thanuri - ryne drags thancred to the bookman’s shelves and does her best to administer first aid in urianger’s absence. each chapter is from one of the trio’s pov - i’m usually not super into 1st person, but this fic uses it really effectively in imparting each character’s mindset. it’s very sweet!

ancients

on call (2.5k, T) hythades - emet-selch goes out of town, and hyth is asked to step in for a soul-seeing duty. and he futzes with emet-selch’s office.

mail run (840, G) hythades - “A young archival intern keeps finding completely legitimate reasons to do all the deliveries to a very specific Bureau of the Architect clerk. For no reason at all.” young love!

as stars to a sky (1.8k, T) hythades - little vignettes about life in the pre-sundered world.

the seat of destruction (13k, M) hythades - canon-divergent au where hythlodaeus is the one to take the seat of emet-selch, and the sundering still happens. my favorite ascian!hyth work.

affective memory (9.3k, T) hythades - pov from the shade of hythlodaeus as he wanders around emet-selch’s reconstructed amaurot.

for good health and opportunity (14k, T) pre-emetexarch - emet-selch visits the crystal exarch numerous times over the course of a century. frenemies!

other characters

“nero tol scaeva did nothing wrong”… (5k, G) gen - a bunch of job npcs try to arrest nero for driving without a license. goes about as well as you might think.

biohazard (1.1k, G) gen - nero hates valens’ ass. not because he has “morals” or anything he just thinks valens is a dogshit project manager.

left in the dust (3.9k, T?) cidnero - ARR nero finds amnesiac marques working in the lichyard. miserable little man.

adrift in memory’s fog (16k, T) cidnero - cid’s frequent bouts of amnesia have led to a patchy memory - enough where he forgets that he and nero were betrothed as teenagers. (trans cid!)

the troubled envoy (1.3k, T) gen - maxima’s diary entries during the stormblood patches, including his thoughts on his weird boss.

the last abandonment (1.9k, M) gen - maxima wanders the ruins of garlemald and reflects on his time in the garlean left. by the same author as above - i really rec all their maxima fics.

this cathedral where your face stains the windows (2k, G) ysayle/igeyrohm - “Someone had to teach Ysayle summoning.” great ysayle heresy stuff + toxic yuri.

this blessed day (80k, M) gen - lucia’s journey from a captured garlean spy to aymeric’s right hand. lucia……

cadavre exquis (6.4k, T) gen - emmanellain helps pack up haurchefant’s things at camp dragonhead ft ishgardian homophobia and an underground queer zine scene.

the lantern jar (19k, T) cirisadu - OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD. this fic is so good. cirina and sadu growing close. lots of development of steppe spiritual traditions and beliefs.

duet (13k, T) estivrtra - estinien encourages vrtra to live more fully as a dragon. cool dragon stuff.

a view of you (14k, M) estivrtra - estinien gets fatally wounded, and vrtra keeps him alive via a great sacrifice (sadly unfinished, but what’s there is a great read)

veteran advisor (15k, E) vrtra/estinien/gaius - really great gaius character work here where he and allie are on vacation in radz-at-han, and the impact that has on both of them. but also? it's mostly about big!varshahn getting railed. good for him!

this home wrested forth (2.5k, T) gen - sidurgu from DRK quests and alaqa from WHM quests meet up and deal with some gridanian wrongdoing.

a fervent desire (111k+, E) sanson/guydelot - an incredibly in-depth retelling of the BRD quests. great work developing these characters and giving them really in-depth motivations!

and love you shall find (9.8k, E) sanson/guydelot - BRD quests, but what if sanson journals as an accommodation for short-term memory loss?

[the-black-parade-system]

”Children born of one emotion..”

▼THE BLACK PARADE SYSTEM▼

MINOR (DONT BE CREEPY)

DID SYSTEM + AUTISTIC (PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH US)

HE/THEY (WE ARE TRANSMASC)

AN ACTUAL VAMPIRE

spotify 

pinterest

(old) masterlist 

more (important) info + blinkers under the cut

BLINKIES

(there’s not enough purple blinkies lolz)

interests!! (no particular order):

Metallica

Dsbm

weird al

my little pony (gen 4!)

musicals (be more chill and rocky horror and a lot of others)

I play ponytown, Roblox, and GTA!

Doki doki literature club

Deadpool and Wolverine

physical media (i collect vhs, mixtape, and vinyl :3)

classic rock

the beatles

jerma

Metal music

School shootings (I don’t condone. Primarily columbine.)

zero day

metalocalypse

classic cars

Adult swim

mars argo

film

a lot of other shit

if I follow you I prolly think ur very cool!!! Please interact and DM and leave asks!!! I don’t bite (sometimes)

again we are a DID system so please be respectful. and remember to ask who’s fronting before speaking to us!

if you are here to start drama we do not welcome you. go do that with someone who cares.

some basic info about us: We have a dog name bobo! he’s a bassit hound mix and about fourteen. we are a metal head and our favorite band is Metallica! We have been acting for around eight years and would love to become an actor in the future. We usually switch between first and second person pronouns, it depends if we are speaking about our system or not. We collect physical media and have an interest in vintage tech, we currently have around 45 VHS tapes and over 100+ records! We are also in the workings of converting some modern movies into VHS. Our favorite color is purple. We’re also from the deep south yeehaw partner. And please don’t be shy when talking to us! we love making new friends!

also I’m actively self harming and am mentally ill trigger warning for some vent posts and stuff related to that <3

[peachpety]

Upon reflecting this past year, I’m reminded of one area as a fandom citizen that i am lacking - reading fic. And so was born an idea to canvas my fandom family and friends to share with me a fic they've written, art they've created, a podfic they've recorded in 2023 of which they are most proud.

This two part 'rec yourself' list is the result.

Part One features Drarry creations (heavily featured since that's my OTP). Part Two (here) includes a kick-ass mix of various HP ships and ships from other fandoms, including Carry On, Check Please!, Good Omens, Teen Wolf, and Stranger Things. Also, and most importantly, each entry presents a smol blurb from the creator about why they chose their particular piece as their 2023 favorite.

For ease in reading, I've also placed all submitted works posted to AO3 into a filterable bookmark collection, Rec Yourself 2023. Be aware that there's a range of ratings and archive/creator tags, so please, take appropriate responsibility for your personal consumption. And please also be sure to shower the creators with kudos and lovely comments.

Y'all. This endeavor has been a fucking blast. One thing's for sure, I am blessed, humbled and honored to know a whole bunch of fantastic, brilliant, fun folks. Big love to you all, and thank you for participating.

So go forth. Indulge and enjoy! xo peach

* * *

✩ @pato-roldnart ✩ Quiet as a mouse HP | Viktor Krum x Ron Weasely | ART | G rating | Unleashed!Fest 2023 I'm quite proud of this one, I don't know how I made it, I had never drawn them before! My mind went full "oh yeah ronvik " Also, I like the idea of them bonding over their pets and Ron seeing that Viktor cares about something else that is not Quidditch.

✩ @tontonguetonks ✩ Coffee and a Croissant HP Next Gen | Scorpius x Albus | 903 FIC | G rating There are parts of myself and my lived experience in every story and character I write—how I socialize, how I take my coffee… I can’t help it. In *Coffee and a Croissant*, I put a lot of myself in my ace and autistic Albus. He is very dear to me in this story, and in my Fizzy Lifting Drinks drabble. The fic is just a toe-dip in the Soulmate waters where Albus grapples with what to do if he is someone’s Soulmate, but they’re not his. Parts 2 and 3 are in the works, but there is no timeline on either of them. Maybe in 2024?

✩ @crazybutgood ✩ I Bloom Pink For You HP | Narcissa Malfoy x Pansy Parkinson | 993 FIC + ORIGAMI COMIC | M rating | HP Bodice Ripper Fest 2023 This whole idea came about because I got so excited to fold a corset for hp bodice ripper fest, realised I couldn't just submit that one thing, and started brainstorming more loose ideas. It all clicked together when I was inspired by a fic by @schmem14, whose writing I adore. I was so grateful and even more excited when Em gave permission to make this. From there started the self-indulgent process of folding fancy things with fancier papers for this origami comic, and I couldn't have done it without Em and my lovely support team.

✩ @seekercass ✩ Something Cosmic HP | Cedric x Draco x Harry | 1.7k FIC | M rating | Polyship Week 2022 A self-rec that I am still extremely proud of is a short fic written for Polyshipping Week 2022 called Something Cosmic. It's a small coda to Something Good to Always Keep, another fic that I wrote for Quidditch Fest 2021 that I cherish very much. Even though writing is still hard for me these days, I often think about this 'verse and what life is like for Harry, Draco and Cedric after they graduated from Oxford. These three and slice of life bring me such joy. I hope to write more of them.

✩ @roseharpermaxwell ✩ Sounds Worth It HP | Hermione x Draco | 5k FIC | T rating | D/Hr Advent 2023 Being nominated for d/hr advent was a sweet surprise. It gave me a good excuse to remember how to write and the nudge I needed to create something this year.

✩ @basicallyahedgehog ✩ (They) Keep Me Warm HP | Hermione x Harry x Ron | 5.8k FIC | E rating | HP Trans Fest 2023 This was my transfest fic - I wrote it as a love letter to all my trans and Enby friends and as a way of processing some of my own feelings. It’s my first (and so far only) foray into poly golden trio and I loved playing with their dynamics with that added layer to their relationship.

✩ @lumosatnight ✩ For I Have Found Salvation HP | Harry x Severus | 7.1k FIC | E rating | Snarry AUctoberfest 2023 Although this is a smut fic at its core, I tried really hard to make the pacing flow, bringing in background characters, and creating memorable imagery. I am very proud of how it turned out. However, this is probably my favorite fic from 2023 simply for the fact that I had the most fun writing it!

✩ @sugareey-makes-stuff ✩ Feel You Breathing Teen Wolf | Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski | 8.4k TEXTING FIC | E rating | 2023 Year of the OTP This is my fav 2023 piece because I learned how to create a custom text message AO3 skin, stylize things for plain text reading, and I wrote a whole story  that had some plot that was told through text messages. Also, I did not know I could achieve so much spiciness and throw in so many bad pick-up lines through this medium, but hey, the more you know! XD

✩ @schmem14 ✩ Mastermind HP | Harry x Ron; Draco x Harry; Ron x Draco | 10.7k FIC | E rating | Dronarry Fest 2023 This is one of the few times a story just flew out of me. Possessive stalker Draco sets out to win over Ron in this creepy thriller, but there’s a catch: Ron is already in love with Draco’s boyfriend, Harry.

✩ @drwhoisginnyholmes & @fledglinger ✩ Not Bad, For A 6000 Year Old Classic! Good Omens | Aziraphale x Crowley | 11.8k FIC + ART | E rating | DIWS Reverse! Reverse! Mini Bang

✩ @sniperjade ✩ The Sounds of Us HP Marauders | Regulus x Remus | 20.4k FIC | M rating | Remus Lupin Fest 2023; HPFC Spring Fling 2023 I've been thinking about this for a couple of days and whilst I would really love to say it was the drarry I wrote for this fest last year my favourite would have to be this moonseeker I wrote for Remus Lupin Fest last year. It's my favourite because I lived this fic. It became the entirety of my personality for a whole month because I desperately needed to get to the chapter where Regulus was riding on Padfoots back, through the forbidden forest, with only the light of the full moon to guide them, just to try and help Remus. It's also just because it's very musical and I'm very musical so that makes me love it all the more.

✩ @ghaniblue ✩ Sleeping With Ghosts HP | Regulus x Draco x Harry | 21.9k FIC | M rating | Harry Potter Rare Pair Fest IV I posted a Regulus/Harry/Draco fic last month that I'm very fond of. I started writing it more than 1 1/2 years ago, before I ever read a single Regulus fic. It's triad fic, and I'm pretty proud of the way the individual relationships develop. That was important to me, and I think I succeeded. Posting the first fic on ao3 with this triad tag doesn't hurt either.

✩ @celilasart & @wolfspurr ✩ Shifted Teen Wolf | Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski | 25k FIC + ART | T rating | Sterek Reverse Bang This work was created for sterek reverse bang, a collaboration fest where the artists create first and the writers write second. wolfspurr and I just clicked when we talked about my art and the things that it inspired in their writer brain ;D the result is just an amazingly sweet and wholesome fic, that is still set in the teenwolf universe as we know it. but unlike many other fics which are full of violence and danger, this one starts with a bang and then it is a beautifully woven story of two people who just complete each other. also... the working title for my art was: tiny fox & sour wolf.

✩ @orange-peony ✩ At the speed of light Carry On | Basilton Pitch x Simon Snow | 26.3k FIC | E rating I picked [this fic] because I had a lot of fun writing it! It started off as a drabble and ended up 26k because I just had a blast writing it and the fandom support was so lovely. Last but not least, Pato made an absolutely stunning art piece for this fic, and it was the best present ever.

✩ @wynnyfryd ✩ i don’t know, you figure it out Stranger Things | Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson | 35.4k WIP FIC | E rating bragging about yourself is difficult, but i’ll just say it’s my favorite because i’m proud of myself for sticking to one project for this long, i love all the artwork the fic has inspired, and i just think the line “the river styx must taste like pennies” fucks severely lmao.

✩ @decaflondonfog ✩ growing pains Check Please! | Eric Bittle x Kent Parson | 50k FIC | T rating i am not usually a long fic gal, which i think is in part lack of patience, but also how attached i get to a universe if i’m working on it for a longer period of time. i finished writing this back in june but this fic felt very “me” in many ways and i think about them so often still  so it’s definitely my 2023 creation i’m proudest of!

[faffreux]

ABOUT ME (UPDATED 8/25/24)

HI, MY NAME IS FAFF!! I''m an autistic adult who loves Fawful to pieces and we are married. /gen (No seriously, I'm madly in love with this dude and you will never hear the end of it, sincerely.)

I've actually created a webpage all about it! Click here to check it out!

While I have many different interests, I dedicate most of my time and space online to sharing my love for this eccentric little bean. Fawful is extremely important to me and has positively impacted my life in countless ways. He’s featured in 99% of my artwork because of the depth of my love for him and the fact that he inspired me to create again after so many years of feeling uninspired prior.

The project I dedicate most of my creative passion towards is:

It's a story that takes place after Bowser’s Inside Story and functions as my personal love letter to Fawful. It’s a mixed media project told through writings, illustrations, comics, and animations - whether created by myself or by friends who are kind enough to devote their time to helping bring my vision to life. It stars Fawful as well as Jolligig!

I'm a bit of a chatterbox online so bear with me if you decide to follow and know that I can range from hardly making a peep for days to suddenly rapid fire posting for a week straight, lmfao. It honestly really depends on how I'm feeling!

JUST SO YOU KNOW:

My blog is intended to be PG-13! What this means is that you’ll occasionally see some suggestive humor and art— nothing explicit, though!

PERSONAL BOUNDARIES:

- I am strictly non-sharing. Please respect that I am extremely uncomfortable with other ships involving Fawful and will not interact with art or posts relating to them. (This doesn't mean I have an issue with anyone personally.)

- Do not interact with me if you are a minor who posts suggestive content. I am an adult, so please keep that in mind before thinking it's alright to DM me with inappropriate questions.

- If you or your blog make me uncomfortable, I may block you for my own peace of mind. This is not personal and I’m allowed to curate my space. Do NOT bring your drama, bitterness, or discourse here under any circumstances, I will not engage with it.

Thanks for reading and I hope you stick around!! <3

WHERE ELSE TO FIND ME:

twitter, tumblr, bluesky: faffreux

tiktok, instagram: fawfulslover

twitch: faffreuxTV (on hiatus)

[vamp1r1cjuggalo]

Noticed your Graham and wanted why he has a walking stick/cane? /genq

(This isn't mean i promise, i'm genuinely curious ;;

Hi hi hi I’m actually really glad you ask cause it gives me an opportunity to share hcs/gen

Ok so I actually have 2 reasons! First reason is just me projecting onto him cause I have joint pain and if I suffer so do my favorite characters

The 2nd and more hc oriented reason is because so I headcanon the sellbots to be very cheaply made and not very held together if that makes sense? They use a lot of cheaper materials and stuff, being bottom of the departments. This leads to more issues when it comes to their functionality, like janky limbs, not great eyes, stuff like that. In this case, I basically hc Graham has janky joints, as well as a bit of rust on em, and him yknow bein the fast one always on the move kinda made it worse (same), and its caused actual problems with his movement and also joint pain. To help with this he uses a cane occasionally (mostly on days where the pain is like really damn bad), although he doesn’t like to use it.

Also i like to think he’s hypermobile, both because i am and he seems like he would be idk.

Also some doodles cause they’re relevant lol

I am really hyped to get to share this hc cause i’m very autistic over this man

[the-cactus-taco]

Sometimes I think “I’m not that outwardly autistic” and then I see my mother watching the new fall out show and start randomly blabbing about a video game franchise I don’t even know anything about just because I’m excited that it has COLORS(somethings that 99% of live action shows don’t have)/hj

Happy Mother’s Day to the woman who has put up with me more than anyone else on earth and who I would probably die with out ❤️

love you ma/gen

(Note, my other pinned post will be going back up tomorrow. But my mother means the world to me, so this is getting pinned.)

[northoco]

metal sonic and mech appreciation before i fucking pass out gods i’m so tired it’s 2am and i need to wake up early

i’ve been thinking a bunch about how much i love sonic mechs recently and how wildly unappreciated they are?? mainly gemerl (and emerl rest in peace) omega and metal sonic. i LOVE LOVEEE metal and gemerl especially, omega too dw he’s amazing.

however i realise with metal there’s this huge sort of like gap in media he shows up in? his best character arcs are always in comics, never in anything else. the last good metal sonic arc we had game wise was probably rivals and heroes which was in the 2000s…. anyway, there’s so much potential metal sonic has??? one of the things i will NEVER fucking get over is the fact he has so much room for improvement— to get better, to have a redemption arc, and he’s been offered it before and clearly considers it but the problem is he was fucking PROGRAMMED NOT TO ACCEPT.

one of my fav hcs is metal sonic was literally sonic from an alternative universe turned into a mech and sent to eggman from his future self. it’s so DISTURBING BUT FUCKKK IT SERVES SUCH GOOD CONTENT.

im a metal sonic apologist for LIFE ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING I GENUINELY BELIEVE HES LIKE FUCKING INSANE AND DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING BUT WHAT HE WAS THREADED TO BELIEVE. metal sonic GENUINELY believes he’s the real sonic, he GENUINELY believes what he’s doing is for a better world, and he’s under the constant influence of eggman. i will never EVER forget the line from heroes:

“see me as i am, no longer afraid of anything.”

bc. no longer? no longer?? NO LONGER??? THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK WHEN FIRST HEARD ISTFG.

like?? like???? it implied he was afraid, and i genuinely believe he was afraid of eggman for a bit before pushing past this fear to lock him up in heroes and try to fight back against the world and who he fought was a literal copy of him. then, canonically, he was reprogrammed by eggman to obey. his fucking voice box taken away from him, his right to any free will GONE and i GEN believe most of eggmans mechs have souls. like how does this man’s machines almost always end up becoming conscious

i just love metal, and i want to see more of him and maybe a redemption arc.

speaking of if anyone has a fanfic of metal sonic having a redemption arc and learning to act even slightly like a normal teenager with the rest of the silly teenage cast pls gods recommend it to me i need serotonin

anyway that’s it for sunny autistic rant of the day i needed an outlet have a good day/night everyone !!!

[little-smol-kel]

₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎ intro ₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎

hi hi !! my name is kel ! <3

i am a traumagenic regressor and little, ages typically 1 - 4 !! i’m also a minor, even bodily, so nsfw blogs please dni ! ty

im trans (not out to family due to lack of support) and go by he/him!!

i kin kel from omori !! my fictional cgs from omori include aubrey and hero, but my main fictional cg is mettaton ex from undertale <333

my fav little activities are drawing/coloring, cuddling, listening to music, and watching the sunset

this blog will mostly consist of random thoughts i have abt omori, agere stuff, venting, edits/moodboards, and reblogs ! always open to board suggestions!!

i’m kind of sensitive (esp while regressed) so pls be nice ,, but you all in this community seem very nice anyway so that likely isnt a problem <33 /gen

im autistic and struggle with recognizing tone, so please use tone indicators where you think applicable !!

im always down to chat and make friends! don’t hesitate to come to me if you wanna talk abt anything abt agere or omori <3

i may talk about triggering things here sometimes !! but dw those posts will be separately tagged so you can block them if you need to !

nsfw, abdl/ddlg, lgbtqia-phobic in any way (including terfs), creeps, bigots, anti-alterhuman, and anyone just plain mean, dni.

have a great day everyone <33

[strayheartless]

Now that it’s been pointed out to me that Genesis is ADHD when I previously read him as autistic, I now have a list of AuDHD sensory issues swirling around my head that I think he has.

So, in no particular order:

Butter. Genesis is staunchly against butter. It is evil and the minute it he hits his tongue he gags. He also doesn’t like touching it.

Air on any skin but his face. Most people believe Genesis wears the coat glove combo because he wants to emulate Sephiroth. The actual reason is he can’t bare to have his skin exposed to the elements. You’ll never catch him dead without something covering his arms, not even in the summer. The gloves depend on the day.

Corduroy. It’s a crime against fashion anyway but the feel of it on his skin makes it crawl.

Cotton wool. You just have to say the word cotton wool to Genesis and he looses his composure. Zack takes great pleasure in pulling it apart just to watch Genesis squirm. Mostly because Genesis makes fun of his sensory issues

Full fat milk. This is something Genesis didn’t know about until he met Cloud. His mother had always had fully skimmed milk in the fridge because she was obsessed with diet fads so he’d never had it. He knew he didn’t like creamy things, but he once drank a cup of coffee that Cloud made him that had full fat milk in it and couldn’t swallow it.

Pears. They are grainy and not like apples. He hates them.

Bananas. They make his teeth itch.

Tags, sequins, itchy wool etc. anything that is itchy is hell

Hats and Earmuffs. Angeal is the one who discovered this. He once placed his own hat on Gens head and then watched Genesis get fustrated and upset for twenty minutes because he didn’t like it touching his ears.

Blocked noses. The biggest reason Genesis hates being sick is because he can’t cope with his nose being blocked or stuffy. He genuinely forgets how to breath through his mouth sometimes.

Cold hands. If Genesis’s hands get cold he may as well be dead, it would be preferable to this hell.

White noise emitters. Because quite frankly fuck them.

Marching bands. The drum beats mess with his heart rate. He doesn’t like it. The made parade duty very difficult.

Genesis can deal with pain, what he can’t deal with is how itchy wounds get while they heal. It would be funny if it didn’t wind him up so much he cries in frustration.

Cold sink water, especially if it’s had something greasy in it.

Avocado. Angeal made him Avocado on toast one morning for breakfast and Gen put it in his mouth, looked panicked and Angeal said “do you need to spit it out?” And that was how Angeal struck Avocado off of all future meal plans.

Genesis will 100% tell people he doesn’t have sensory issues. He’s one of those “nobody would ever guess I’m Autistic” people and then you’d put a fear food in front of him and he’d panic and not be able to swallow it.

He’s also the kind of person who will poke fun at Zack and Sephiroth for having extreme sensory issues but then gets rudely reminded that the only reason he seems to not have them is because he avoids everything he hates like the plague and has some truly elaborate work arounds to avoid them.

[dungeonmeshi-confessions]

i love laios a lot. his entire story is incredibly relatable to me as an autistic person and he gen holds a very special place in my heart nd has made me come to realisations/make peace with things about myself. kabru is so interesting i love thinking about him, his background and what he’ll do after canon. i think it’s so heartwarming that he gets to contribute to the creation of a new country and keep all sorts of people safe. i think he’s transgender because i’m transgender and i like it for him, and those little tidbits in his story just make it fit nicely. mithrun’s storyline brought me to tears when i first read, i didn’t expect to like him as much as i did but it really pulled the rug out from under me and i was so happy when senshi cheered him up, i want him to be happy for ever. i like lskb because they remind me of myself and my partner who i love lots and lots and i like content that centres around both of them because i love them both. i also think they just fit together sweetly but i’d have to talk a lot more to explain all of that. they’re both endlessly interesting to think about. kbms is nice but not my thing, idk why but that’s just how personal preferences work. i love their platonic dynamic and what they mean to eachother though. i love that their stories are intertwined and kabru helps mithrun regain the ability to desire and build a new beautiful life because he wants to; not out of obligation, kabru just wanted to help. i think they’re quite similar, sort of parallels but again i’d have to write a lot more about that. all this is to say i have no enemies peace and love on planet earth i think we should all stop fighting and hold hands. this is all a hobby after all. let’s focus on having fun

i was drained after scrolling through this blog for five minutes so i hope you’re doing ok, lots of love to you and no one will blame you if you want to take a break ever ^_^ sorry for the yapfest.

.

[psychotic-tbh]

Hi! I just got into talking to people about 3 years ago and I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble on the internet for not knowing anything. (For example, I thought “proshipping” was “liking fictional pairings” until a month ago.) Do you happen to know if there’s a guide on how to talk online for autistics?? /gen

Having something like this would’ve saved me from a lot of heartache and harassment 😅 I’m just wondering if you’ve come across a manual or an instruction pdf of some sort… if not, no worries!

I’m not too sure since I have the opposite issue (I know a lotta memes and I hold onto them as if they need to be pried away lol)

But I think certain memes have wiki pages :0 I hope you’re able to find stuff like that if you search key words

So like for something like skibidi toilet you could search, “skibidi toilet original meme”

I do that when I’m not too sure :D

Good luck to you on your journey, friend :)

Pls lmk if any of this comes across as condescending, I’m doing my best to answer as best as I can !! /gen

[squidthesquidd]

Do you have any favourite headcanons about Nightshade?

(I feel like them being autistic is a pretty common headcanon, so I’m curious if you have any thoughts on that as well)

YEAYEYWYEYYSUSY OH MY GOD YES WE HAVE SO MANY HEADCANONS ABT THEM !!!!! get ready for a fuckn infodump (also sosoos many of these are just us projecting)

warning: i sound like an insane person

okay so YES !!! nightshade is absolutely autistic. and they are stimming constantly. they stim vocally a lot, and a lot of the time its just bird sounds, but sometimes it'll just start screaming lmao. it also likes to rock back and forth a lot!! definitely a verrrry common one.

Also if youve seen how we draw nightshade you might've noticed that we draw xem with little wings in root mode! they also flap those to stim :]

also they love slime!!! this is verry much just me projecting but i like to think xey love slime and they have a huge collection of textures <33 its favorite is bingsu!!!

and NEOPRONOUNS as you might've noticed :P. (we have a nightshade alter that uses neos so we are once again, projecting) but anyway, it was hashtag that told nightshade about neos, and they immediately got into it!! they have many and love hoarding them <3 some of xeir favorites are it/xe/that/owl/web/bot/mur

bones!!! vulture culture!!!!! they collect bones. sometimes theyll go out into the forest and search for bones for hours (it has soooo many antlers) and if web finds a dead animal, web'll take it back with them to clean it out webselves :]

They also have intrusive thoughts. yeah less fun headcanon time. they can be very vivid and very graphic, and its caused nightshade to have panic attacks a few times. i hc that bumblebee also used to have them, so bees helped xem through some of the bad ones <3

also xey have severe emetophobia. yeah i know, a bit of a weird one. if someones sick, they will be avoiding that person like the plague. whenever it watches a movie with the family, it'll always check if there are emeto scenes so it knows when to look away or leave (shout out to doesthedogdie.com i fucking love that website!!!!)

this post cus i think about it a lot

and general terran hc! i headcanon that all the terrans can eat human food :D although nightshade specifically has a difficult time eating (the tism) and xey'll only eat things like noodles or very processed food. murs a huge ramen lover 😎

MINECRAFT. you cannot look at nightshade and tell me they dont love minecraft!! xey have a survival world going where xeyre completely decked out in netherite, have a hundred redstone machines scattered all over the place, and just so many huge projects going on. mur started a multi player world and got all murs siblings to join. most chaotic world ever

and now im thinking abt owls, so. they have night vision, because of course. and it also sleeps in a nest (terrans can sleep hc jumpscare) its just a pile of a fuck ton of pillows and blankets and if you touch it xey WILL bite you

also it has a very strong prey drive. if they see anything particularly small moving around on the floor they are fucking jumping it. its like xeyre the maltos mouser lmao. no small animal that shows up in the malto home is safe

oh and as for music !!! big fan of the big neurodivergent three lmao. lemon demon, will wood, tally hall. that stuff yknow? (yes im projecting) also heres a playlist that our nightshade alter made that is 100% what we hc source nightshade to listen to !!!!

LOVES STAR TREK !!!! you CANNOT convince me they wouldn’t. big fan of the non-human bridge officers <3 Spock, Data, Saru (and also big Odo fan) webs favorite is probably next gen :] also i 100% percent believe it was Alex that introduced xem to it. i look at alex and see a star trek liker. i will not be taking criticism

oh and now heres a weird one. when nightshade was a protoform, they were always very… squinty? i dunno, its just something we noticed. like why are you squinting baby, can you not see? and then when xey got their altmode, suddenly xeir eyes were much wider! and i like to think that they did actually have bad eyesight as a protoform! and becoming an owl greatly improved it :]

also they cant see glass in their alt mode <3 hashtag has a compilation of mur crashing into windows

and about the episode "missed connection", we aren't actually told how long nightshade was helping tarantulas, and while most interpret it as just one day, i like to think it actually took about a week at least or even longer. i dont really know why i hc this, but maybe its cus i need nightshade and tarantulas to be besties or i'll die

okay thats it for now <3 i definitely have more headcanons so i might make a second post abt em later