#I tend to repeat myself sometimes

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

the thing about podcasts for me is that i actually have a really hard time listening to them and have tried to get into at least 20 if not double that over the past few years but have never been able to get through more than a few episodes and that’s usually after forcing myself. this is true for all except one podcast. because i have only ever been able to listen to and enjoy that single podcast, i listen to it on repeat and have been since 2020. i have been informed recently that this is not something that happens with other people

[kavehater]

My mum came to my room just now and was like what time did you sleep I was like oh my head was hurting so yeah … I actually slept quite late ngl but I was pretending to sleep bc I was still crying LMAO and my mum is really mean to me when I’m upset or stressed let alone full on crying so like PFFTTT

[hopesangelsprite]

Closer

Pairing: Illumi x Wife!reader

Warnings: kissing, suggestive content, light angst

Summary: Your husband isn't really the touchy feely type... but when it comes to you that tends to change often and very quickly.

It wasn't often that your husband had days off. It was even rarer that he spent those days off relaxing rather than training or picking up small, quick missions for extra money (not that he needed it anyway). Today was different, though. Illumi had about a week of downtime before his next mission and, instead of prepping, he was sprawled across your shared bed napping.

You were worried at first, his uncharacteristic behavior causing you to wonder if he was feeling well. After the first few days of observing him and assuring yourself that he wasn't ill, you chalked it up to him finally taking some time to relieve stress. Though you wanted to relax with him, there were still a few tasks you needed to complete beforehand. You sighed inwardly from your desk and continued to work on your computer. What had started as light research quickly turned into hours of sifting through data and you were quickly becoming annoyed.

"Wife.", Illumi called out, his voice heavy with sleep. You froze and listened for any signs he was fully awake. Illumi took your silence as ignoring him and spoke again. "You know I don't like repeating myself.", he grumbled and the sound of sheets rustling met your ears. You turned in your chair to see your husband sitting up on his elbows, eyes half-lidded with sleep and light annoyance. "What is it, love?", you hummed at his tired, disturbed state.

Without another word spoken, he patted the empty side of your bed and motioned for you to come forward. Your brow quirked and a smirk crept onto your lips. "You're not being serious, are you? You usually want nothing to do with me when it's nap time.", you chuckled and his eyes narrowed even more.

"I'm not above coming to get you myself. However, for your sake, I advise you to do as asked.", he spoke lowly while brushing inky strands of hair from his face. A giggle passed your lips as you stood and made your way toward the bed and joined your grumpy husband. After taking a moment to adjust the two of you, Illumi nestled his face against the side of yours and exhaled. "That wasn't so hard, was it? You've been at that damned computer much too long for my liking.", he complained as he pulled a small blanket over the both of you.

You rolled over to face him, placing a kiss between his collarbone and Adam's apple. "Almost sounds like you missed me.", you cooed sweetly to which he huffed through his nose. "So, what if I did? A man's allowed to miss his wife, is he not?", he mused with hands gently drawing patterns onto your lower back. You opted for more silence as you looked over his features, taking mental photos in case his next mission took him away from you longer than usual.

Illumi opened his eyes, lashes fluttering as he looked over you with onyx orbs. "What's wrong?", he questioned softly while pulling you closer. You shrugged and leaned into him, indulging in the cool of his skin. "I miss you a lot when you're gone.", you finally answer, "I wonder whether or not you'll come back to me sometimes��". Illumi remained silent, allowing the weight of your words to fully settle over the room. It was often you felt this way, the long periods of waiting eating away at your resolve. His occasional battered state upon returning only deepened that fear that he'd not come home one day.

"You don't have to worry about that.", Illumi spoke after a little while, "I'll always come back to you… even if it's the last thing I do.". You looked up at him, in awe of the sudden tenderness he possessed. "Promise?", you whispered into the room's atmosphere. He nodded, taking your hand in his and intertwining his fingers with yours. "I promise.", he vowed before pulling you impossibly closer.

You smiled giddily, the tension finally rolling off your shoulders. "Besides,", Illumi spoke as he settled himself in the valley of your breasts, "How could I possibly think of leaving all of this behind?". A gasp and a cackle as you felt him nibble at your chest, his hands squeezing the fat of your ass. "I knew you didn't want me to nap with you!!", you laughed while trying to wriggle out of his hold, "I still have work to do!".

You managed to get a leg and an arm free before Illumi dragged you back into him. "The only thing you should be doing is me.", he muttered while attempting to hold you still. After a while of resisting, you finally let your husband pin you to the bed with a satisfied smirk. "Your research can't make you feel the way I do, can it?", he questioned proudly to which you rolled your eyes. Even though you didn't want to admit it, he was right. You stared up at him, taking in just how pretty he was with bedhead and sleep still lingering in his eyes.

"Fine. You get two rounds before I go back to work.", you offered to which he scoffed with narrowed eyes. "Four rounds.", he countered indignantly. You smirked while tucking a few strands of hair behind his ears. "Three rounds and cuddles. Take it or leave it.", you negotiated before leaning in to kiss him. "Deal.", he hummed between kisses with hands roaming across your body, "I'll give you under-desk support after.".

"What? No-".

[just-some-random-blogger]

Tender Cuts

Gwayne comes home battered and beaten, and so you kiss his busted lip and tend to his wounds.

Gwayne Hightower x Reader | 700< | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, mentions of injury/blood, hurt/comfort, fluff, softhours, typos, etc.

A/N: i cant help myself. the unholy unspeakable things i want to do to this man... and yet here i am offering you some fluff

Tagging: @lancedoncrimsonwings

Gwayne watches the way I undo his armor. He sighs and straightens from his chair, turning to the vanity mirror, "I am uninjured."

"And so you say, yet on your lips therein lies the lie you offer, husband," I retort as I finally remove the final piece of steel upon his form.

I bend over as he sighs once more. His tired eyes remain on my face as I unbutton his top. He places his hands on his thighs as he spreads them, "I am not gravely injured."

I forfeit a response and continue to touch him with care, as not to accidentally cause his unexposed injuries any more irritation. By the time I have his top unbottoned, Gwyane removes it along with his undershirt before I can do so. He stands and takes my hands. His eyes are more awake now as he places my palms on his bare chest, "inspect me yourself if you distrust me so."

His tone pinches my heart. "It's not that I distrust you, love," I rub his shoulders, "it's just that you've grown numb to your pain, and I do not wish any ailment to sneak up on you."

Gwayne's eyes slowly shut as I rub his arms then caress the sides of his firm belly. "So?" he grumbles, "shall I rid myself of my pants?"

My expression perks, "you might as well."

He opens his eyes and furrows his brows.

"I will bathe you myself."

Gwayne does not protest, save perhaps for a few more sighs as he rids himself of his last articles of clothing and steps into the preprepared tub. I waste no time and drag a stool to the side, eager to get him clean. He melts into my touch as I scrub his skin.

I splash his arm a few times before moving onto his chest. The room is silent, apart for the sound of sloshing water. Gwayne's head feels heavy, I can tell. I rub his shoulders to encourage him to relax.

"You don't have to mother me, you know."

I tilt my head as I find one of the freckles on his sternum, "I am a mother. You should know, you were there when it happened."

"You mothered my children, not I." He rests his arms on the sides of the tub.

I lift my gaze. His eyes look heavy.

For a moment, my husband is not he, but a child abandoned. I look upon his tired face and recall the soft confessions he'd whispered as I laid in his arms, confessions of his loneliness, his longing. He recounted all the memories of his mother that remained with him. He vented out his hurt over his father who he grew without.

I knit my brows and put down the sponge in my hand, "do you not want my touch?"

He drops his head then grabs my wrist, "I do not want you to worry." Gwayne pushes closer to me. The water around him splashes. He leans on the rim by my side and kisses my pulse. He repeats softer, "I do not want you to worry."

I press my lips into a line and brush his hair back with my free hand, "oh, my love," I sigh, "unfortunately, I worry regardless."

He rests his head upon my hand when I caress his cheek. I comb my fingers through his hair as much as it will allow me in its matted state. He closes his eyes. I trace the shape of his nose with my palm.

Gwayne has never said it out loud, but I know that sometimes he feels undeserving of the attention I so freely shower him in. The wounds of his younger self that never quite healed make the affections he's so craved quite hard to take in.

"My sweet boy," I whisper, gently rubbing his lips, "let me do this for you."

His blue eyes slowly open. They are shrouded with red exhaustion. He finally relents, eyes closing again as he leans back and offers himself completely to me.

I decide to wash his hair for a change, and as I do so, I sing a folk song from the Reach. He rests his head on the tub, sinking slightly into the water as he allows himself to relax.

I only stop singing when he mutters something unintelligible. I lean towards him, "what was that, my love?"

His lips barely move, "thank you."

A soft smile finds me.

"I love you."

I immediately press my lips into his. I make sure to do so delicately, so not to disturb him or the cut on his lower lip. I look at his face for a few moments before pulling back, "I love you too."

I continue singing from where I left off.

[authenticbunni]

The Key to The Void State

“I don’t know why I never get into the void state, I always relax and affirm. Idk what I’m doing wrong”

if you’re thinking this way, I know the key to helping you and what you’re doing wrong…

You’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. Everything you’re doing is completely correct. You are doing the correct steps. Don’t change anything about your routine, it’s perfect.

(This is not for everyone, just for people that struggle with focus)

But if you still think you’re getting stuck then maybe it’s a problem with your focus. Let’s say yes, your body is completely relaxed like you can’t even feel it. First part complete, that helps with directing your awareness to your 4D. Yes, you’re affirming you’re tapped into the void, prefect. But maybe you’re still thinking about your surroundings. You keep thinking about that fan or A/C on, every sound wave coming from the meditation/subliminal.

“But I just can’t help it, I don’t know how to stop focusing on it. Sometimes I forget about my surroundings but then they come back to my awareness, how do I stop?”

I deal with the same problem, and I deal with it the way I saw it on Reddit. Redirect that focus on being in your surrounding to thinking about your surroundings slowly fading away from your awareness and you inducing pure consciousness. Just think about literally just being, purely in your conscious mind. Simply pure consciousness

Think about the sound of that fan slowly fading away, and that subliminal or meditation get quieter and quieter to silence.

Then bam you’re pure consciousness ���

An affirmation I tend to repeat that I got from Isha Kriya meditation (highly recommended) is when you breath in say “I’m not my body” and when your breath out “I’m not even my mind.” Repeating those to myself make me remember that I’m in a state of being, I am nothing and everything.

THE VOID STATE IS AS EASY AS BREATHING

[poorly-written-fiction]

a little bit too much (freaky edition) - logan howlett x fem!reader

A/N: holy shit the support i got on my first posted fic is so nice thank you all so much. i made myself the promise that i’d post another fic. this is a similar fic to the one i posted yesterday, but this time it does end in smut. hence the name. also we’ve upgraded from me writing in my phone’s notes app, yay!

tags: SMUT (18+ MDNI), dubcon kinda? pre-established consent implied (drunk sex but only Y/N is drunk. repeated and enthusiastic consent is given. if this bothers you, please don’t read.), alcohol consumption (Y/N is 21+), fem!reader (no specific physical descriptions given), age gap (legal but let’s be real every relationship with logan is an age gap relationship), plot what plot/porn without plot, fingering, unprotected PinV + creampie (PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE WHEN ENGAGING IN INTERCOURSE THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION), car sex, swearing, spelling and grammatical errors i’m sure because writing this faster and harder than i ever have before

words: 1478 (yippee!)

Logan couldn’t keep his eyes off of Y/N. In a bar full of neon lights and signs, nothing was shining brighter than she was. Maybe it was the alcohol, which had allowed Y/N to let go of any stress she had been holding onto. She drank enough to give her the confidence to loosen up and have fun - not that she wasn’t usually fun, but sometimes it’s hard to be yourself in a bar mostly inhabited by older men. Eyes would tend to watch Y/N and Logan when they would come through the door, very aware that he was older than she was, they just didn’t know how much older, and they didn’t need to. Y/N was old enough to order her own drinks, and that’s all that really mattered. 

She really did look beautiful, especially with her hips swaying in time with the music playing in the bar. Her hips, which were wrapped in a denim mini skirt, it was driving Logan crazy. He loved every inch of her, every bit of her soul, every fiber of her being. She brought out the warmth in him, one would think after living for roughly 200 years that Logan’s heart would be practically made of stone. She made him smile, genuinely, but also made him wildly protective. During their games of pool, any time she’d bend over to make her shot, Logan would stand right behind her and glare around at anyone who would try to look at her. Then she’d make her shot, stand up straight, and accidentally bump up against his hips. He’d wrap his arms around waist and hold her close to him, leaning over her slightly to kiss her on the cheek. They’d do this all night, until the game was done, or until Y/N had drank a little too much, whichever came first. 

Tonight, they had finished their game - they didn’t really keep track of who won, they were just having a good time together. Y/N was a little bit stumbly when she walked, holding onto Logan’s arm for stability. Being the gentleman that he was, he paid their tab, and wrapped his arm around her to hold her upright while they walked to the truck. Usually, he would carry her, but he didn’t want to risk giving anyone in that bar a look up Y/N’s skirt. Logan unlocked the truck, opened the passenger side door, and lifted Y/N into her seat before buckling her in and pressing a soft kiss to her temple. When he was sure she was safe and sound, he closed the door before jogging over to the driver’s side and hopping in himself. 

After 15 minutes on the road, they were stopped at a red light that seemed to go on forever. Logan looked over at Y/N to make sure she was okay, and smiled when he saw her looking back at him. “Hey there, princess,” he gave her soft thigh a gentle squeeze. Y/N placed her hand over her boyfriend’s, slowly pulling it up her skirt, moaning quietly when his fingers brushed against her core. Logan’s eyes widened when he made the realization, “Where the hell are your panties, darlin’?”

Y/N giggled, her mind still very fuzzy from the alcohol, “Wasn’t wearing any… wondered how long it’d take you to find out.” She rocked her hips forward so her clit bumped perfectly against his fingers. She whined at the contact, repeating the movement again, before Logan retreated his hand back to her thigh.

“Babygirl, you’ve had a lot to drink tonight, are you okay to do this right now?” He glanced at the traffic light ahead of them - still red - before his eyes met hers again. Y/N’s eyes were locked onto her lover, giving him a firm nod. Y/N would be lying if she didn’t admit she liked drinking a little bit too much and then convincing Logan to fuck her. He muttered a quiet fuck, before he noticed the bright green light ahead of them. “Can you wait until we’re home, doll?”

Y/N shook her head, “I want you Logan… I need you.” Her hands began to guide Logan’s back up her skirt. He was used to driving with one hand on the wheel and one on Y/N’s thigh, but he knew that they’d have to pull over before they took things too far. Thankfully, there was a secluded road they’d be coming up on soon. Logan brushed his fingers through her folds, already so wet for him. He chuckled quietly, before taking his lover’s clit between his middle and index fingers, rubbing it in small circles. The sensation was like electricity running through Y/N’s body. “Fuck… that feels so good, Lo, please… keep going.”

After what seemed like an eternity of teasing, they finally got far enough onto the wooded road that cars passing wouldn’t be able to see them. Logan pulled over to the side of the road, retracting his hand again from Y/N’s heat, this time to put the truck in park before shutting off the ignition. Once the car’s lights were off, Logan made quick work to adjust the seat back to give Y/N space, before unbuckling both hers and his own seatbelts and pulling her over the center console so she was straddling his lap. He pulled her close into a very heated kiss with one hand, while his other squeezed her ass gently. “You’re so fucking perfect for me,” he mumbled into the kiss, earning him a needy moan from her mouth. Y/N’s hands clumsily attempted to undo Logan’s belt, between the alcohol running through her system and her head buzzing with desire, it took her a moment. Eventually, she got the belt undone, and she had an easier time with his jeans, wrapping her fingers under the waistband of his pants and his boxers and tugging down on them. Logan lifted his hips slightly, pulling the clothing down the rest of the way. His cock rested against her core for a moment before he slowly pushed into her, drawing a string of pleasured noises from his beautiful girlfriend.

“Fuck… you’re so tight, babygirl…” 

“You’re so fucking big, Lo…”

Logan grabbed Y/N’s hips, bunching her miniskirt up in the process. He rocked her back and forth on his cock, pulling more moans and gasps from her lips. He loved the way she sounded. Y/N began to fuck herself onto his cock in rhythm with him, holding onto his shoulders for support. Logan took the opportunity to gently press his thumb against her clit, drawing gentle circles around the small muscle. Y/N’s walls tightened at the sensation, earning a low moan out of Logan’s mouth. His pace sped up just slightly, which was just enough for Y/N to start coming undone in his hands.

“Please… just like that, Lo, please don’t stop..!”

“That’s it… good girl, I wanna make you cum.”

“I’m so close, please Logan..!”

He loved the way she said his name, so much desperation coming from her sweet lips. He moved his free hand from her hip to the back of her neck, pulling her into a needy kiss. He kept his pace, but his hips began to move with a harder intensity, fucking Y/N like his life depended on it. She moaned into his mouth, before breaking away, nearly screaming his name.

“Fuck, Logan… Logan, I’m cumming!”

“That’s it, cum for me, babygirl, you’re doing so good…”

Y/N’s nails dug into Logan’s shoulders as she began to ride out her orgasm, her insides contracting around his cock, and her legs squeezing around his hips. Logan’s own orgasm followed quickly, spilling warm cum inside of Y/N, who was still wrapped tightly around him. They took a few moments to enjoy the afterglow, sharing a few kisses and pressing their foreheads against each other’s, taking their time to catch their breath. Y/N reached over to the window on the driver’s side door, drawing a small heart in the fogged-up glass. Logan watched her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

 After a moment, he slowly pulled out, then grabbed one of his flannels that he had left in the backseat of his truck and cleaned off Y/N’s thighs. Usually, he’d pull her panties back onto her after he filled her up, but she had decided not to wear any. He folded the flannel a few times, and placed it on the passenger seat - he was going to need to wash it anyways since he cleaned her up with it. He lifted her off of his lap, and got her settled back in the passenger seat, buckling her seatbelt again, and giving her a kiss.

“I love you, princess.”

“I love you too, Lo.”

================================================

thank you for reading! if this fic seems rushed it's because it is, i need sleep but i also wanted to get this done. i hope you enjoyed!

[astrologuzzy]

★ MY ASTRO OBSERVASHUNS ★

Disclaimer before I start: I’m no professional astrologer so don’t come for me, mkayyy? MWAH 💋

♡ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, more specifically those with Gemini placements in their personal planets loveeeee playing around with their voice a lot. Just utilizing their voice to be a silly goobert. Like making voice impressions or funny sound effects is very natural for them. Which is why I think so many Geminis are comedians, artists and actors. Whenever I see someone who makes goofy sounds or is very into voice acting I instantly know they must be a Gemini/have heavy Mercury placements and up until now i was 100% correct each time lmao. (As someone who has Gemini placements myself: I love to make funny voices or impressions, sometimes I do it without realizing lol)

♥︎ Which actually brings my to my second point on 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 but those that are musicians; I noticed they frequently love to play around with different genres of music and different styles of singing/rapping in general, even all in one song simultaneously. Good example would probably be Kanye West or Kendrick Lamar. Their music and style tends to be very versatile and they tend to incorporate even very random notes/effects/sounds to it as well.

♡ Oh my goodness, all the 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒 I’ve ever known have this damn thing where if you don’t ask them specifically for what you wanna know, they’ll never even tell you it. I had a friend with a full blown Libra stellium that I finally caught up with after months of no contact and this girl only told me about her having a girlfriend and getting into a car accident only 3 days later!? That was thanks to me for randomly mentioning romance and cars, otherwise she wouldn’t have even shared it. So if you wanna hear a Libra disclose something specific with you, just be direct with it.

♥︎ I haven’t met an 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 that wasn’t impulsive and would jump from one relationship/project into another and then complain about how everything turns out a mess (but then get back up and repeat the cycle again smh).

♡ 𝟏𝟐 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐒 and their hidden enemies is actually very fukkin real. I got to witness it closely for the first time and oh boi am I shook lol. My boyfriend has a 12H moon and I’ve witness multiple times strangers come up to us, start a conversation and then just become insanely rude to him outta absolutely nowhere as if they been having beef with him since kindergarten?! Randoms tend to get mad or hostile so easily at him even if he doesn’t say anything bad... it’s so weird.

♥︎ Every person with an 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 in their big 3 has this feistiness to them. Even when they’re super sweet and chill type of Aries I still notice that they have moments where they’re quite direct or don’t really care about what you think. They’re gonna say what they wanna say one way or another and it’s honestly so natural to them, I don’t think they even notice. Even the quiet Aries in my life have this demeanor to them that you just don’t fuck with because they’ll bite back at some point.

♡ In my experience, every 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒 that I’ve ever known always expressed their appreciation and affection in letters/poems/metaphors very frequently. Very romantic, very abstract, Shakespeare who? Every time they’d send a whole ass paragraph like 🥀”you are like a rose that fell in this chaotic ocean and turned it into a tranquil lake” 🍂 just to describe my eyes or something. I don’t think my Aquarius moon is cut for such stuff lmao, it makes me cringe a bit but I do appreciate it! Although every Pisces mars guy I ever knew had additional water placements in their big 3 (like Cancer sun or a Pisces moon) which probably only doubled that sentimentality they had.

♥︎ 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 and their anger issues is something and that something is very real... That’s it, that’s the Tweet lol

♡ Idk what it is about 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 men but they always make me wanna take care of them and like baby them when they’re in their feels and retract and act like they aren’t on the verge of tears... Make me wanna go and cuddle them lol. Especially Cancer moons for wtv reason really soften my Aqua moon when I’m around without them even doing/saying anything.

♥︎ Also 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒 are insanely great at faking their true state of being. I’ve met so many Libras that on the outside look like they’re having a blast but when you actually get to know them you see that their house burned down, their granny died, they almost choked to death twice last week and their partner broke up with them for 15th time that day and now they’re homeless... And you’re like damn bro, I’d literally never guess. They really know how to mask everything, put up a great front for others and do it insanely convincingly. You literally would never guess what that Libra is actually going thru, it’s probably worse than you can image. Please check up on your Libra friends and Libras - it’s ok to ask for helpppp. You guys deserve it <3

♡ 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 are one of the funniest mothafukers everrrrr, they always make me laugh so much! Double points if they have Gemini or other Fire placements with it. Just hilarious individuals.

♥︎ 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐒 are actually pretty chill people, you won’t see them angry often (but they make sure you know when they do). Usually our anger and passion is more so hidden and works backstage. Compared to 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐒 that are loud with it and don’t hold back.

That’s it for todayyyy ☀︎

[kiwriteswords]

THE WAY YOU WRITE HOTCH IS ASDFGHJKL, and it makes me wanna scream because I love him so much lol. Can I request "Using pet names" drabble prompt with shy!reader? <3

Hi!! Thank you!!! Thanks so much for requesting a short drabble! I had so much fun writing this one! I hope you enjoy!

Drabble Prompts | Other Writing | Ao3

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Shy!Fem!Reader!

Word Count: 2k

Rating: Everyone

TW: None!

I find myself runnin' home to your sweet nothings

It’s you who lets a pet name slip out the first time. 

The warm, aromatic scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as you and Aaron Hotchner sat across from each other at your favorite corner café. It wasn’t often that the two of you found time for a peaceful moment away from the intensity of the BAU, but today, you both managed to sneak out for a late lunch. The soft hum of conversation around you created a cozy atmosphere, making you feel more relaxed than usual.

You sipped your cappuccino, smiling softly as you watched Aaron flip through the menu. He had a slight furrow in his brow, clearly debating over what to order, which made you smile. The rare moments where he looked just like any other person—calm, laid back, and not buried under mountains of paperwork or the weight of cases—made you appreciate these quiet times even more.

“What are you thinking?” you asked, tilting your head as you glanced over the options yourself. “The sandwich you always get?”

Aaron looked up from the menu, his lips curling into a small, amused smile. “Am I that predictable?”

“Maybe a little,” you teased, feeling more comfortable in the easy, casual environment.

He chuckled, setting the menu down. “I suppose I do tend to stick to what I know. What about you?”

You shrugged, staring down at the menu, though you had already decided. “Probably the soup. It’s always good here.”

Aaron nodded, and as you both settled on your orders, the conversation flowed easily. It always did with him, despite the butterflies you couldn’t help but feel when you were around him. Even though you were naturally shy, there was something about Hotch that always made you feel at ease, even if his quiet intensity sometimes made your heart race.

After the waitress took your order and left, you leaned back in your chair, watching the way Aaron absentmindedly tapped his fingers on the table. It was one of his subtle habits that you had grown to notice. It was like he always had to be doing something—thinking, analyzing—even in the most relaxed moments. But now, there was a softness in his expression that made you feel warm inside.

“I’m glad we could get out today,” you said quietly, smiling. “It’s nice to just… take a break with you.”

His eyes softened as he looked at you, his voice just as gentle when he replied, “I’m glad too. We don’t get to do this nearly enough.”

Your heart fluttered at the way he said it, like these moments meant just as much to him as they did to you. There was a calmness in his presence that you’d come to cherish. You felt safe, cared for, even in the little things, like how he always made sure your coffee was topped up before getting his own or how he positioned himself in a way that made you feel like the world could disappear for a while.

Before you could think, the words slipped out: “You’re sweet, you know that, babe?”

The second the word left your lips, you froze. Your eyes widened slightly, and your hand came up to cover your mouth in surprise. You hadn’t meant to say it—not “babe.” It wasn’t a word you had ever used with him before, and certainly not in public. It just slipped out, so naturally, as if it had been sitting there, waiting to make its debut.

You braced yourself for his reaction, your cheeks already turning pink from embarrassment, but when you looked up, you were met with a look of pure amusement on Aaron’s face.

“Babe?” he repeated, arching an eyebrow as a slow, teasing smile spread across his lips. His voice was filled with warmth and playfulness. “Did I just hear that right?”

You felt your face heat up, but you weren’t exactly embarrassed, just a little flustered by how easily the word had slipped. “I, uh… I didn’t mean—well, I did, but…”

Aaron chuckled, leaning forward slightly, his eyes dancing with amusement. “No need to backtrack now,” he teased. “I have to admit, I didn’t see that one coming.”

You pressed your lips together, trying to hide the shy smile threatening to spill out. “I guess it just… slipped out.”

“Slipped out, huh?” He rested his chin in his hand, watching you with that signature smirk of his. “I think I like it.”

“Really?” You blinked, surprised by his reaction.

“Yeah,” he said, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying your flustered state. “It’s got a nice ring to it. But I have to say, I wasn’t expecting you to be the one to start with the pet names.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Well, I guess there’s a first for everything.”

Aaron’s gaze softened as he reached across the table and gently placed his hand over yours. His thumb brushed lightly against your knuckles, his touch warm and reassuring. “You don’t need to be so shy about it,” he said, his voice gentle. “I think it’s cute.”

Your blush deepened at his words, but this time, you didn’t shy away. “I’m not shy… just cautious,” you said, feeling more playful than usual.

He chuckled again, the sound deep and soothing. “Well, I’d like to hear it again sometime… babe.” He teased further. 

The way he said the word sent a wave of warmth through you, and you found yourself grinning, unable to contain it any longer. “I think I can manage that.”

The teasing smile never left his face as he held your gaze. “Good, because I think you’re stuck with it now.”

You laughed, feeling more comfortable and at ease than ever. “And what about you?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you going to start calling me pet names too?”

Aaron’s expression softened as he considered it for a moment, then leaned in a little closer. “I think I can manage that,” he said, his voice low and affectionate. “How about ‘sweetheart’? Or maybe ‘honey’? I’ve got a few in mind.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, unable to hide the smile spreading across your face. “I guess I can live with that.”

“Good,” he said with a satisfied smile, giving your hand one more gentle squeeze. “Because I plan on using them a lot.”

It wasn’t soon after that, that Aaron began using them more regularly. Something about hearing him say these endearing names still managed to put butterflies in your stomach.

Tonight, the BAU office was quiet. The bustling activity of the day had finally settled down, and most of the team had left for the night. Aaron Hotchner sat at his desk, the soft glow of his desk lamp illuminating the pile of paperwork he still needed to get through. His focus wavered as he heard a familiar soft knock at his door.

“Come in,” his deep voice called, calm yet commanding, as always.

You peeked your head in, offering a small, shy smile as your eyes met his. You had been working late as well, trying to tie up loose ends from the case you’d just closed. But it wasn’t the case that brought you to his office. It was him.

“Hi,” you said softly, stepping inside and closing the door gently behind you.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Aaron replied, a warmth spreading through his tone that he only ever used with you. It was one of those things that made your heart flutter, even after all this time together. “What are you still doing here?”

You shrugged, walking over to him as you wrung your hands nervously. You never quite got used to how he looked at you, that mixture of care and admiration, like you were the only person in the world when he set his eyes on you.

“I just... wanted to see you before I left,” you murmured, standing in front of his desk. “And I figured you’d still be here working.”

Aaron’s lips curved into a small smile as he leaned back in his chair, his hand extending toward you. “C’mere, honey.”

You took his hand, your heart speeding up at the simple touch, and he gently pulled you into his lap. You blushed, settling into the familiar warmth of his embrace as his arms wrapped securely around you. The door was closed, and you were alone with him—one of the rare moments when you didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing or the walls he kept up as the BAU’s stoic leader.

“You work too hard,” you whispered softly, leaning your head against his shoulder. “You need to rest.”

“I could say the same thing about you,” he replied, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “You’re always looking after me, aren’t you?”

“I try,” you giggled, your shyness melting away a little in his presence. “Someone has to.”

His thumb stroked gently along your arm, and he kissed the top of your head again, this time lingering just a bit longer. “My sweet girl,” he whispered against your hair, his voice low and affectionate.

The pet name--your favorite pet name--sent a rush of warmth through you, making you hide your face against his neck as your cheeks burned. Aaron chuckled softly, clearly amused by your reaction.

“You’re so cute when you blush,” he said quietly, his hand lifting to cup your cheek. “I told you I planned on using these names a lot,” There was a comfortable pause,  “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you tilted your head slightly to meet his gaze. Even after everything you’d been through together—the cases, the danger, the long nights—he always found a way to make you feel like you were the most important thing in his world.

“I think I’m the lucky one,” you admitted shyly, your fingers tracing small patterns on his chest. “You’ve always been there for me, Hotch.”

“Hey,” he interrupted gently, his fingers lifting your chin so that you were looking into his warm brown eyes. “What did I tell you about that? Call me Aaron when we’re like this.”

“Aaron,” you corrected with a small smile, loving how his name sounded on your lips in these moments.

“That’s better,” he whispered, his lips brushing lightly against yours. “My sweet girl.”

You melted into the kiss, your hands sliding up to rest on his shoulders as you felt the familiar comfort and safety of being in his arms. Aaron’s kiss was soft and gentle, his way of showing you how much he cared without words. When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, and you could feel the steady rhythm of his breathing as he held you close.

“I love you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible but filled with sincerity.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” he replied without hesitation, the words leaving his lips easily now after everything you’d been through together. “Always.”

You smiled against his lips as he kissed you once more, longer this time, savoring the peaceful moment between you. There were no worries here, no cases or paperwork—just the two of you, wrapped up in each other and the sweet nothings that passed between you.

In his arms, you felt like you were home. And with him calling you all those sweet names, you knew this was exactly where you were meant to be.

Tag List

[utilitycaster]

this may seem needlessly finicky but I do actually believe it's important: calling Verin a himbo is just one of many examples where like, one of the cast says something off the cuff and it's not exactly the right word or it is highly contextual, and that is fine because no one is perfect especially in improv, but then it gets repeated ad infinitum within the fandom when it never really fit in the first place. We have Verin's stats and he's decently more intelligent than average with a 13 (smarter than most of Bells Hells for one; as smart as Pike); it's just he's the guy with a bachelor's degree with good grades followed by military service in a family where everyone has two PhDs - Matt said "himbo of the family" the way in a family where most people are exceptionally tall you'd call the 5'11" child the short one. In Call of the Netherdeep he appears as thoughtful and competent and promoted to a difficult position at a very young age, and in the campaign his appearance is simultaneously as a leader of troops in a dangerous mission, and someone who cares enough about poetry from a completely foreign and distant culture to have tried to learn more about it. I'm sorry, but if you're using the word "himbo" I don't think you're processing a thing about the character yourself; you're just the latest repetition in a game of telephone that's been going on since mid-2021.

And that's not deeply bad on the surface, and I'm using Verin not because he is the character most wronged by this sort of thing but because he's recent and it's really clear where the word came from and that it's not a good assessment, but something I happen to have a decent knack for is pattern recognition in language. I usually find it really easy to pick up on when someone's plagiarized because of the language and pattern shifts. I tend to remember urls and out of place words well. So I do tend to notice when everyone suddenly starts using a single turn of phrase and I tend to flag it. Sometimes that's not bad; sometimes it means everyone came to a similar conclusion and that's the best way to express that conclusion. But like, when Taliesin called the Yios episode a gas-leak episode and the entire fandom started parroting it? The line "bone-dry takes"? The fact that a lot of ship defenses I see were phrased precisely as "I have eyes"? without actually talking about the ship itself? the fact that I've seen a spike in the use of the term "ontologically evil" including in myself and not all uses are actually correct? And extending this beyond strictly language but consider any headcanon with minimal textual support that catches like wildfire (sidebar: remember how we make, or made fun of the SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE tendency on Tumblr a decade ago? same concept of repetition of a specific turn of phrase without internalizing) all sort of ping this.

And it's fine, truly, to come to fandom and turn off your brain. I know this will sound sarcastic from me, and that's because I don't personally agree, but I do strongly agree that you can do what you want in fandom and you don't have to listen to my opinions so in the end, yeah, it's fine because I am not the arbiter of "fine". But I think critical thought is a vital exercise and I think precision with language is part of it and so if you find yourself using the same exact words and thoughts as everyone else, that should, ideally, trigger a process of "but are these the right words? what do I see when I see this character and how would I describe them? do I agree with this assessment?" Fandom is an interesting and easier microcosm than reality in which to start doing that.

[soaps-mohawk]

Important Things For This Blog

I wanted to make a post with some rules/important things to know for this blog. It will be linked in my pinned navigation post. I know some of you have been asking for this and I apologize for it taking this long to do this.

Probably the most important thing (which is sad that this is something I have to say) but

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO USE MY FICS FOR AI

If you see someone using my fics or claiming to have my permission please report them because I will NEVER give permission for my fics to be used for AI

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I wanted to put down some reminders/rules (not that I've had many issues to date) but just in case:

This is an 18+ blog with explicit content. I am trusting a lot of you to be honest and stay away if you are not 18. This is not a minor friendly space.

I am one person running this blog. It's just me, a real person behind all of this.

I am in Pacific Standard Time (PST)/Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) depending on the time of year, so any time I talk about days, I'm meaning that day for me if I forget to add the timezone.

I take a break from this blog on Thursdays (PST), though that can sometimes start as early as Wednesday afternoons and can extend into Friday mornings.

Again, I am a human being with my own struggles and some days are not good days. I try to avoid interacting too much those days, but sometimes I'm not smart enough to do that. So if I seem off or rude or snappy, I do apologize. I always feel guilty after I get back into my normal head space.

I invoke the right to delete any ask that I do not want to answer, or that makes me uncomfortable.

As point number 2 states, I am just one person, and I get a lot of asks some days, so if your ask/comment/reblog etc isn't responded to right away, it's either because I didn't get it/didn't see it, or because I have 30 others in my inbox that I haven't answered yet too.

I try and avoid posting asks/reblogs with spoilers right away for those that don't/can't read the chapter right away. I tend to hold off for a couple days so if I haven't responded to you, that's also probably why.

Responses that have spoilers and are posted the days I post spoilers are tagged with "crcb spoilers" so block that tag if you don't want to see them or have anything spoiled, though after those days I stop tagging things with that tag.

I use my queue a lot, especially on days where I don't plan to be on Tumblr much, or days I post spoilers. I try to remember to use the tag "queue 06" when I'm using the queue.

Regarding CRCB exclusively, I have taken a lot of time to make and organize several lore/FAQ masterlists. If you ask a question that has already been answered there (which to be fair I do miss adding some sometimes) I will direct you there to avoid repeating myself.

The navigation post pinned on my page is there for a reason. Please utilize it.

If you would like to be on my taglist, please follow soaps-mohawk-taglist and turn notifications on as I will post there every time I post a new chapter/fic

I do not tolerate any hate or disrespect on this blog, towards me or others. You will be blocked, anon or not.

Please be respectful of me, my rules, my boundaries, and the reminders above, and most importantly, remember there is just one living, breathing human being behind this blog.

Now for the part most of you have been asking for, the things that I'm not comfortable writing. If it's not on this list, or if you are unsure, please ask if it's something I'm comfortable writing. I won't get upset if you ask for clarification.

Pedophilia (including lolicon & shotacon)

Age Play

Beastiality

Detailed Domestic Abuse

Detailed Child Abuse

Emetophilia

Olfactophilia

Scat

Cheating

Rape*

Child Death

Hurt/No Comfort

Pregnancy (Anything in the realm of pregnancy)**

RacePlay

Formicophilia

Pecattiphilia

Some specific violent situations (including ones with kids)

Embarrassment

Animal abuse and death

*It depends on the scenario/my own state of mind at the time. It's not a hard no, but it really just depends.

**I know I've answered some pregnancy (and child death) things in the past but it's just not something I'm comfortable with going forward.

Honestly it's just best to ask if you're unsure, about anything listed above. I'm just asking for everyone to be respectful of me and my rules, as well as everyone else, so we can keep things as they have been.

Have a Gaz just because

[infamous-if]

with that said, I do want to apologize for the (repeated) delays. I tend to push myself too hard sometimes and I get really sick as I write these updates. whenever I reach the end I always think I need to add 20k more words or it's not up to my standards, even if it wasn't what I planned. maybe it's my own self-sabotage or my brain being too nervous to release or just thinking it's not good enough aha

near the end of this chapter, I have come down with the flu lol but I did just want to say sorry that I've made people wait so long.

[sinnashuart]

Zack's ADHD

Zack fair has ADHD. That's something I see tons of people acknowledge that I myself agree with, but a lot of it feels very shallow/surface level? I mostly see people talk about his diffculty paying attention, but never really explore a lot of the other symptoms of ADHD that he very clearly has. In general, ADHD has symptoms that can be put in two categories. These being inattentiveness and Hyperactivity/Impulsive behavior. I'm going to try to go into each symptom I've seen him display. Going through things that fall under inattentiveness since that's what most people focus on first and foremost! Obviously, Zack has a short attention span. The opening of Crisis core has Angeal setting him back on track multiple times, and has to remind him of his mission. That bleeds into another symptom of ADHD, which is having a hard time listening to or following instructions.

Another few symptoms of ADHD under inattentiveness is being disorganized, forgetful, and making careless mistakes. Zack has shown to fit under all of these things in DMW scenes. One in particular features him both losing materia AND forgetting his sword.

Again, we see that he's a messy person when he's talking to Aerith in another DMW scene.

Now I'm going to go into the symptoms that fall under Hyperactivity. Some of the most talked about symptoms he exhibits are a lack of ability to stay still, excessive physical movement, and excessive talking. Noteably too, people with ADHD can have difficulty controlling the volume of their voice, or how fast they speak. For example here, Zack is told right before to calm down by Angeal, and immediately proceeds to talk loudly (giving away their position.)

Circling back to the previously mentioned symptoms, trouble staying still and excessive movement are some of the few things I feel people notice first in correlation to ADHD, but never really think about what it really is in the context of ADHD. Zack tends to do squats when he's excited. It's a repeated motion he does to calm himself down and/or focus. Sound familiar? that's because it's stimming. Interupting conversations lines up with ADHD, and is something Zack does in-game too!

Here he interupts Angeal's speech (and gets a fond smile in turn. I will bring this up later for something else). Zack is impulsive by nature, and tends to rush into things without a clear plan. He has a very absent sense of danger sometimes as well. All of which fall under the Hyperactivity category of ADHD symptoms.

The symptoms I see in Zack that hardly a soul has acknowledged though, is him being easily frustrated or irritated. ADHD makes it hard to regulate emotions, and Zack showcases this a lot throughout Crisis Core. For Zack, this sometimes seems to fall under under Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is common in people with ADHD. It's a discomfort and difficulty regulating feelings of failure or rejection. For Zack, this also takes the form of confusion/frustration/annoyance. However, in most instances of him taking criticism, he mostly manages to move past his and take the criticism/corrections to improve himself. Funnily enough, you can see his quick frustration/irritatrion in the very first cutscene when Angeal jumps down to elaborate on the parts of the mission he missed because Zack jumped a bit too soon due to his eagerness (more impulsivity). Zack gets angry due to this interuption to the task he was focused on, and becomes cheerful as soon as he is able to get back to his task. The frustration with interuption and being quickly upset is interesting. There are more instances of this kind of behavior, and it all really feels like it falls under this umbrella of him struggling to regulate his emotions. This also goes hand in hand with his stimming, since it isn't just the frustration/anger he has difficulty managing. His excitement and stress is something we also see him have difficulty managing, and can be tied into a lot of the other aspects of ADHD I have discussed here! Zack gets frustrated again later when Angeal ends the training simulator, and puts an end to the task he had been hyperfocused on.

It's an irrational anger, but it makes more sense when read through this lense. Zack was excited and hyperfocusing on his mission. He charged ahead without hearing or understanding the full objective, and almost got hurt (in the context of the training sim). The sim was ended before Zack felt it was "finished", which resulted in a frustration he expressed outwardly. His hasty behavior and exciteability is a core character trait, but makes far more sense if you read him as a character who lives with ADHD. How he is written and how other characters interact with him is interesting to watch as well! One thing in particular I love a lot is Angeal's treatment of Zack's ADHD tendencies. For being in the military, which is a very unforgiving enviornment, Angeal shows quite a lot of compassion for Zack's ADHD tendencies. Things that would normally get him into trouble are instead corrected rather gently! Angeal consistently repeats instructions to Zack when he needs it, and keeps a firm hand when he guides Zack through missions. He never tells Zack to sit still. He never berrates him for his interjections (Zack going "And? And and and?"). The only time he really scolds Zack is when he's doing something that may endanger them.

For example, here they're on a mission that requires stealth. Zack being loud isn't normally a problem, but here, they need to be relatively quiet in order to achieve their goal. Angeal is compassionate and understanding when Zack is... doing things that are very ADHD coded. As mentioned earlier, Angeal doesn't get upset when Zack interupts him. Instead, he just smiles. It's likely Angeal was the one who taught Zack to do squats to stim, actually. In the Ever Crisis version of Crisis Core, Angeal says this to Zack. Although it's not necessarily canon, it's still entirely plausible and just. Very wholesome.

More of Angeal's tolerance for Zack can be seen here, when Zack's attitude slips after being criticized, and Angeal pays it no mind. (Again, his rejection sensitive dysphoria plays a part in having him react rudely)

Again, you need to keep in mind that despite their closeness, Angeal is still both his mentor and superior. He doesn't have to be as patient with Zack as he is in-game, but he does so anyway because... that's just how he is. Angeal cares a LOT about his loved ones, and Zack is included in this. He shows a lot of love to this little guy! I think it's nice, because I love seeing characters with ADHD being treated with consideration by others. It's something I wish people did more IRL, really. Lots of ableism surrounding aspects of ADHD that aren't as easy to romanticize and considered "annoying", so having Angeal respond to them with understanding makes me incredibly happy. Altogether I just absolutely love Zack as a character. I love reading him with ADHD since I have it myself. I just want people to see the depth to it more though, since there's more to it than just "he's high energy and gets distracted". You get to understand his actions or irrational behavior a lot more when you dive past the surface of his writing. Big, massive, enormous fucking thanks to my bestie @rune-rapier for letting me bounce ideas to and from him!! He helped me get a lot of these scenes in here to analyze, and brought up a LOT of points that made it in this post, and made it a lot easier for me to word.

[fallingdownhell]

Genshin Men reacting...

.. to someone talking down on you

Including: Diluc, Ayato and Tighnari

Summary: after a very long day the last thing you expected to happen was to be confronted with some rude person making unnecissary comments. Your boyfriend catches wind of it and just can't let that happen...

Content Warnings: gender neutral reader; canon universe; established relationship; cursing; maybe slighly ooc; people being mean but getting told off; little bit (also mentioning) of bullying (I do NOT agree with anything that this character is going to say!); 

Word count: 3.6k words

Please feel free to point out any grammar or spelling mistakes to me! Also, if the format or anything seems off, I apologize but this is my first post and I wrote this on my phone. I'm still trying to get used to all of this.

Ayato

Being with the head of the Yashiro Commission was difficult sometimes. Not because you didn't love him - Archons knew that you did - but rather because of his unique circumstances.

Given the position that he was in, many people had their attention on Ayato which was not always a good thing. He may have been a sweet and caring boyfriend, but only in the familiar surroundings of his estate, where all his servants had been ordered to not speak a word about your relationship. 

Because, even though Ayato loved you, he didn’t want it to become public, mainly for two reasons. The first one being that he wanted both of you to be absolutely sure of your feelings for the other before announcing anything. Could you imagine the drama and talk in the town if he were to announce that he had a partner, only for them to be gone within the next few weeks because things just didn’t turn out the way he expected them to? Again, Ayato was sure of his love for you and he wanted you to be together, but he also wanted to make sure that you were certain as well. 

His other reason for keeping your relationship under the radar was exactly the topic of attention. Not everyone liked being the center of it, even less if it was guaranteed that you would be the talk of the town for at least the next few weeks if you guys were to go public. He just didn’t wish for you to have to deal with any of that. Not when your relationship was still this new. And if he was being honest, he quite enjoyed the moments of solitude he could get with you like this. 

Although, he had to learn the hard way that things could go terribly bad as well, if you keep them a secret for too long.

It has been a less stressful day today, so Ayato decided to go outside for a walk to catch a bit of fresh air and stretch his tired bones. He didn’t bother telling Thoma or any of the other housekeepers, they could handle themselves for a few minutes without him. And if they needed something urgent of him, he was sure he could still tend to it once he returned. 

Walking out of the estate, Ayato decided on a whim to make this supposed short stroll indeed a longer one, so he could go to Inazuma City and maybe get himself a Boba he didn’t get to enjoy for a long time now. Maybe he could even grab a special one for Thoma to try and a more... reasonable one for you. 

Happy with this idea and a smirk already forming on his lips, he quickly changed directions to the city.

Within an hour, Ayato arrived at the outskirts of the town. People started whispering among themselves, heads turning after him, questioning what he could want here, since he was not exactly a common visiter. 

Most people only knew the Yashiro Commissioner from tells and tales, since he prefered to stay in his estate. Only for official gatherings of events did he come to Inazuma City, so what could he want here on the most normal of days? 

Ayato didn’t pay it any mind though, as he casually walked up the stairs to where he knew his prefered stall was, but after arriving at the top, the peaceful atmosphere was quickly interrupted by two people arguing. One of which Ayato knew all to well.

“... said NO! How many times do I have to repeat myself?”

Normally, after hearing this, the Commissioner would not hold himself up with trivial arguments such as these. He would simply bring it to the attention of some nearby guards for them to deal with it. But, given that you were involved in this, he just couldn’t ignore it. Abandoning his usual procedure completely, he quickly made his way over to where he heard your voice coming from, able to hear the conversation taking place more clearly the closer he got. 

“Come on! Why you gotta be so difficult? ‘S not like you’re already taken, right? So, just come with me and I’ll show you a good time, I promise~”

“Let go of me, you creep!”, you yelled as you yanked your hand out of his grip. You couldn’t remember for how long you had to deal with this insistent jerk already, but you were fed up. No matter how many times you turned him down, he just wouldn’t listen. You tried to be nice about it in the beginning, but you were starting to get annoyed now. People on the streets also started to watch this interaction, though no one stood up for you or wanted to help you, so you just had to take matters into your own hands. 

“The Hell do you think you’re doing, you bitch?! I’m doing you a favour, inviting you to my home! Who the hell do you think you are, you worthless piece of -!”

While shouting, the man in front of you suddenly raised his hand. Realising, that he was about to hit you, you couldn’t do anything but close your eyes and just hope that it would be over quickly. 

Except.. the expected pain never came. Carefully you opened your eyes again, only to realise that someone else now stood between you and your pursuer. 

“Wha- the hell do you want? This has nothing to do with you!”

“Oh, but it has everything to do with me if you’re trying to hurt my partner. I can’t let that happen, now can I?”

You were too deep in shock, so you only realised now that it was Ayato, who was standing in front of you, holding that guys hand by his wrist, effectively stopping him from hurting you. His words however only setteled with you a few seconds later. But once they did, you just couldn’t help but stare at him dumbfounded. 

“Your... FUCK!”, the man suddenly yelled, janking his hand out of Ayato’s grasp and then ran from the scene like the devil himself was chasing him. The Commissioner didn’t pay it any mind though, rather focusing his attention on you. 

“Are you alright, my dear?” 

“Yeah, but... Are you? I mean.. you basically just announced our relationship to the entirety of Inazuma..”

“Don’t think of that now. Let them know, I don’t care. So lang as you’re safe, and by my side, I couldn’t care less.

With that, he slowly pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly, not paying any attention to the staring and whispering bystanders. And he meant what he said, nothing mattered more to him than you and your safety. 

________________________________

Diluc

Having a relationship with Diluc was not how you had expected it to go. Of course you had feelings for this man for a long time - otherwise you wouldn't have gone into a relationship with him - but you also went into this expecting him to act like his usual self. All stoic, feelings kept under control, never knowing what he was thinking.

But, as a matter of fact, Diluc was nothing like that over the course of your relationship with him. At least, when the two of you were alone or at the comfort of the winery, where he could trust the people around him. Diluc was very much an affectionate and protective lover, always making sure to communicate his thoughts and feelings with you, even if it was a bit awkward for him in the beginning.

It all came as a surprise for you, but it definetly wasn't an unwelcome one. Naturally, it still took his time until he fully opened up to you, told you everything about him. It was the same for you, since you had to deal with some unpleasant events from your past as well. But you managed to help each other through it together, and slowly but surely, you could say that you were starting to feel happy again. Each day with Diluc by your side made you feel like you won the lottery of life itself.

It was still a rather young night, yet you were already halfway through your shift at Angels Share. You had offered your boyfriend to help him out at the Tavern from time to time, which he reluctantly agreed to, but seeing you work happily behind the counter, glad that you could help out your boyfriend, made him feel relaxed as well. At least, for the time being. He still made sure that you wouldn't be overworking yourself or had to deal with any rude customers if he could prevent it. 

But, as always in life, happiness doesn't last forever.

As the night went on, more and more people started to gather at the Tavern, most of them looking for some form of relaxation after a stressful day full of work, or just to casually meet with some friends and have a nice chat over some alcoholic beverages. You were working together with Charles, switching between mixing the drinks and serving them to customers, when the door opened again, accompanied by the sound of a little bell hanging above it, signaling that a new customer just walked into the tavern. 

“Hey there, welco-..”, you turned to greet the new face, as you always do, but as soon as you recognised the person, your voice died down and the warm smile you usually had on your face also dropped. It couldn’t be. You really thought that you never had to see him again. You were not prepared for this. Charles, who was standing beside you, picked up on your change in behaviour, but had no idea about anything, so he couldn’t really do anything either. 

The guy coming into the tavern took a quick glance around the interior, then decided to take place on one of the stools by the barcounter. “Just get me a glass of that dandelion wine that you guys are soo famous for.”, ha said in a dismissive tone while waving with his hand. 

Without so much as a word, you went straight to it, hoping that he wouldn’t recognise you, since it had been so many years since you last saw each other. At one point while you prepared his drink, you could feel that he started staring at you. Trying to ignore it, you continued with your work, willing your hands to stop with the shaking. ‘He is just a normal customer. Just keep breathing, you got this’, you kept telling yourself, hoping that it would help calm your nerves. 

“Hey... do I know you from somewhere?”

You froze for a second, hoping that he wouldn’t remember or just brush it of. You didn’t answer as you served him his drink, but it would seem that luck won’t be on your side today. 

“Wait.. is that you y/n?”

Now the panic really started to settle in, your eyes widend as you looked at him, which was all the confirmation that guy needed. 

“I knew it! And seems that I was right about you as well, seeing as you’re working as a mere server here. Told you you could never make something out of you!”, he laughed as he snatched the drink from the counter. 

“Okay, I think that is enough.”, Charles chimmed in, having heard the whole thing.

“Chill, I’m just telling the truth. They never had anything to show for themselves, even when we were younger. And by the Archons, your looks didn’t improve either.” He laughed even more after that last comment and you couldn’t do anything about it. You wanted to stand up for yourself, say something to him, insult him back, really just anything. But you were too much in shock, frozen in place, barely able to process what was happening right now. 

“Surprised you’re even still in Mondstadt. I thought you had run of to Liyue or whatever, seeing as nobody here would want you as their partner. I mean, what so you have to show for yourself? Definitely not money or looks. Bet you can’t even please someone.”

“That’s it. Get out of my bar, right now!” You heard his familiar voice, but you were too scared to look up, fearing that you would just be able to see the face of that one person you hated more than anything.

“Huh? Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?”, the guy spoke as he stood up, trying to intimidate Diluc by standing right in front of him, but your boyfriend wasn’t impressed by it at all. More than anything, he was beyond pissed of with that guy. 

“I’m the owner of this Tavern, and I’m telling you now, in a nice way, the get out and never set foot in here again. And if I see you here again, or harrassing my partner again, I promise you, it will not end well for you.” Diluc was speaking in a slow and calm manner, but the hidden rage was easily detectable. Your old bully picked up on it as well, as he went past Diluc and out of the Tavern without another word.

Your boyfriend made sure that he was actually gone, before immediatly making his way over to you and embracing you in his arms. It took a little for you to register but you soon clung onto him like your life depended on it, only noticing that tears were escaping your eyes once his coat was already drenched in them. When you realised that, you shoved him away from you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -!” You were interrupted by your boyfriends hands softly holding onto your face, making you look him in the eyes. 

“Don’t you dare start apologizing to me. You didn’t do anything. I should be the one saying sorry for not arriving here sooner.”, he said, as one of his thumbs slowly brushed over your cheek, which made you smile a little bit. 

“But you came, and that’s all that matters. Thank you, Diluc.”

_____________________________

Tighnari

Your relationship with the fennec fox was a very loving one, but also a very exhausting one. His life as a forest ranger was a very busy one, so he often didn’t have as much time for you as he or you would have wished. Nevertheless, you guys always managed to make up for the lost time, no matter how little you got to spend together.

Tighnari treated you with so much kindness, you could basically feel his love and adoration for you with his every word and action. Of course he still kept his foul mouth, even in your relationship, though you knew that he never had any ill intend. And even if an insult did come out of his mouth, directed at you, he always said it in such a loving way that you just couldn’t get it in any wrong way.

Usually, the two of you would wake up in the morning together, either one of you staying in the others cottage almost every night. It became such a normal occurance for you, you couldn’t even remember the last time you slept alone in your bed. Not that you mind, though. You loved waking up to your boyfriend holding you close to his body, feet entangeld with his own, your face pressed against his chest. 

If you were to ever tell anyone how affectionate this fox really was, they would probably just start laughing and call you crazy. Everyone knew Tighnari as this stoic, stern man who puts his research above everything. In reality, you were his number one priority, nothing else. When you thought about that, you couldn’t help the smile that began forming on your lips, while you slowly reached out to softly stroke some stray hair out of his face.

Normally, Tighnari would be awake way before you, but today was one of the rare occaisions where he actually slept longer than you, allowing you to admire his beautiful resting face and relaxed expression. 

“Enjoying yourself?”, your boyfriend suddenly spoke, his morning voice sounding a bit rough, but it just made you adore him even more. 

“Very much so.”, you answered gleefully, as Tighnari slowly opened his eyes, keeping the eye contact with you. 

He looked at you a few more seconds before mumbling a quiet ‘Good morning’, then leaning towards you to give you a small kiss to your forehead. 

“We have to get up now..”

“Ugh.. can’t we stay for five more minutes?”, you groaned, not quite ready to get up just yet. 

“I’m afraid not. We both have long days ahead of us. The sooner we get all of it done, the earlier we can be back again.”, Tighnari said as he already began to peel himself out from under the covers, dragging you along with him in the process because he knew if he didn’t do that, you would just fall back asleep again. 

You both went to your morning routines as usual, grabbing something to eat before you both went your seperate ways to take care of your duties for the day. 

You and Nasrin were assigned to patrol the forest today, so you went to find her to discuss how you two would be handling it togehter. Meanwhile, Tighnari was staying behind in the village today, since he had some catching up to do with his research and also work on new doses of medicine for Collei. 

Time went by quickly while Tighnari was focusing on his work - surprisingly not being interrupted even once - that by the time he leaned back and allowed himself a small break, the sun was already starting to set, though it wasn’t quite sunfall yet. 

He was just about to focus back on his work to get a few more pages done, when his ears picked up on some unusual noises outside. He noticed that it was some distant shouting that he was hearing, by an unfamiliar voice at that, so he decided to check for himself what was going on there. 

He exited his cottage and quickly located the source of all that noise by the village entrance. He didn’t think much of it in the beginning - probably just some travellers or adventurers who got lost in the forest again and were now complaining about it - but as he got closer and recognised the person on the receiving end of the shouting as you, he wasn’t as relaxed anymore. 

“What the hell was even the point of doing all this if you can’t even secure my goods?!”, the man in front you kept shouting, not letting you get a word in. In all honesty, you were getting frustrated and annoyed at that guy. 

Here you were, trying to help him when he was getting attacked by a hoard of fungi in the forest, and he had the audacity to complain to you about not being able to save his goods for him. Not like you were busy fighting those monsters of while he cowered behind you like a little kid. 

“Look, as I tried to tell you -!”

“I mean, what is a merchant even good for without his fucking merchandise? How fucking incompetent can you be?”

That was the third time the man cut you of and now you had enough of it. You were about to go of on him as you saw your boyfriend approaching from behind the guy. You knew with one glance at his annoyed face that the guy was in for it, so you just couldn’t help the smirk forming on your lips, which the guy in front of you also noticed.

“What the hell is there to smirk about, you little-!”

“Excuse me, I would very much appreciate it if you could stop talking to my partner like that.”, Tighnari said, very matter of factly.

The guy turned around, still pissed of about the situation. “Oh yeah? Then maybe tell your little, incompetent partner to do their fucking job right, then I wouldn’t have to do that!”

“Oh, so you mean, saving your life wasn’t part of their job? Should they rather have secured your goods, leaving you to fend those monsters of by yourself?”

That shut the man right up. You could see his mouth open and close, again and again, trying to come up with some sort of retaliation, but not being able to find one. 

“I suggest that you apologize to them and then get out of my village because I sure won’t let someone as rude as you stay here. And make sure to keep clear of the forest, there won’t be any nightly patrols today.”

Clearly fed up with this whole situation, the guy pushed past you, not muttering another word, as he went on the path that lead straight back to Sumeru City. Tighnari had half a mind to go after him, drag him back and make him apologize to you, but he came to the conclussion that that wouldn’t be worth all the effort. 

Instead, he let out a long sigh, than looked back at you. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, just really annoyed with that guy. Honestly, what was even his deal?”

“Some people just see themselves as the center of the universe. Don’t think about it too much.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. Besides, I think that was pretty cool, how you told him right off. Very attractive~”, you said.

“You Lummox”, Tighnari said as he quickly turned around to hide his red cheeks. You laughed and quickly caught up to him again so you two could start your well deserved evening toghether. 

[bitethedevil]

The True Meaning of Fear

Warnings: NSFW, Arachnophobia, Choking, Very Violent Oral, Abusive behaviour, Fear Play, Non-Con, Devils Who Are Deviling.

AN: I'm having fun writing more angsty and loving stuff for other characters like I mentioned in my update post, but sometimes you just got to write some fucked up Raphael stuff to clear your palate a bit. Seriously: mind the warnings. It’s…yeah…pretty fucked. I will be seeking professional help and saying some Hail Mary's to repent for my sins🚶‍♀️‍➡️Enjoy! 🫶

”Pleeease, Raphael,” she sobbed. ”It won’t happen again. I promise.”

“Please what?” he asked with a smile and a soft tone that made him seem like the perfect image of innocence. “We are only having a conversation …”

She was not buying this attempt at lulling her into a false sense of security. She knew him. He had brought her to a cell in the bowels of the House of Hope. Had he simply wanted to talk, he would now have done it here.

“I will ask you again,” he said, still in that soft tone. “What did you see?”

She gave a small sob and shook her head. His yellow eyes narrowed slightly at her, but the smile stayed on his lips. He was in the cell with her too, on a chair in front of her sobbing form on the floor.

“What was it that frightened my little bird so much that she neglected all of her duties? I do so hate to repeat myself…”

Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to hold in more tears.

He had come home to find his house in complete disarray. Multiple dead debtors had laid scattered across the floor, as they had tried to defend the house against intruders. He had found her shaking in the corner of his office. A powerful fear spell had made her hide instead of dealing with the intruders or alarming Raphael.

He had been furious when he found her. He had lost a small fortune in gold and an invaluable staff that dated back to the early days of the Netheril Empire. He had yelled at her, but due to her fearful state, he did not receive the reaction he wanted. She had been too out of it to properly react to his words, so he took her here instead.

She could see from the way his tail flicked and the way he drummed his claws on the arm of the chair that he was running out of patience. She had to give him an answer.

“Death,” she lied and dried her tears with her sleeve. “I saw my own death.”

The corners of his mouth turned upwards in an amused smile and gave a huff of laughter.

“Death, hm?” he repeated. “Are you truly such a simple creature? I find that difficult to believe. If death was what you feared the most, you would not dare lying to my face in such a manner. Try again. The truth this time, if you would be so kind.”

She started shaking again and she could feel her skin become clammy. She had a good idea what would happen if she told him. She also knew what he would do to her if she did not. It was hard to decide which was worse.

“Come now,” he said, his tone softer again. “You will receive no judgment from me. Is it something embarrassing? Something completely irrational? Those do tend to be my favorites…”

She remained quiet.

“Or,” he said and looked at her with a bored expression. “I could bring the Omuan dreamcatcher in here, present you to every fear known to man, and I can deduce what it is from there. I’m certain that Hope would not mind if we borrowed it for the day.”

“No,” she said quickly. “No-no. Please don’t.”

She had seen how Hope had been after her time with the dreamcatcher. She was an empty shell of a person after those sessions.

She swallowed hard and looked at the floor in front of her.

“Spiders,” she admitted quietly. “I’ve never liked spiders…”

“Ah,” Raphael said with a satisfied smile. “A classic.”

She looked around. Her skin was tingling at the thought. She was already becoming paranoid.

“When did you acquire this fear? Were you always afraid of them?”

Her hand shot to the back of her neck where she felt a tingle. Nothing. It had only been her hair touching her. Her skin was becoming increasingly sensitive.

“As a child,” she said.

“Do elaborate,” he purred with a smile.

Her breath hitched at the memory a bit.

“I was in my bed,” she explained. “I turned to lay on my back and looked at the ceiling. I saw it just before it fell down into my face.”

“Mm,” he hummed. “That does sound rather unpleasant.”

His eyes slowly turned upwards to look at the ceiling above her. She flinched and looked up. Nothing. Raphael chuckled at her movement.

“I can almost hear your heartbeat from over here,” he purred. “Such a pretty sound…”

“I beg you, Raphael,” she pleaded. “I’ll do anything. Just please don’t—”

“Shh-sh-sh,” he hushed gently. “We are only talking.”

He leaned forward slightly in his chair.

“I am a jealous man, my dear. It’s one of my less attractive qualities, I’m afraid, but it is so. So, you must understand how it irks me to find that your fear of me is only second to that of the eight-legged vermin you seem to hate so much.”

Her hand darted up to her hair where she scratched her scalp. She swore that she could feel them everywhere, even though she knew that it was only her fear that made her feel things. For now, anyway.

She felt something hit her shoulder from above and squealed. She brushed her shoulder in a panic and swore that she felt something furry touch her hand as she did. She quickly moved her body away from the wall she had been sitting against, closer to Raphael and let out a whine. Her eyes searched where she had just sat but once again: nothing.

“Tell me,” Raphael said in an amused tone. “What do you think causes this fear of yours?”

She was practically sitting between his legs now. He ran his claws slowly over her scalp and it made her shiver in her overstimulated state. She wrapped both her arms over her head like a stubborn child refusing to let their parents comb their hair. She knew that she was pathetic, but she could not control it at this point.

Raphael brushed two claws against the back of her neck in a featherlight touch, making her flinch again. He still wanted an answer, and maybe as long as she spoke, he would not do anything. She quickly tried to construct a sentence in her scattered mind.

“I—I don’t know,” she said. “Too many limbs maybe. I don’t know.”

“Well,” he said with a mocking laugh. “I am one limb short of eight in this form. That doesn’t make you fear me any more than your eight-legged friends, evidently. It must be something else, mustn’t it?”

His claws tapped her arm in a way that mimicked a spider’s legs, and she flinched away from him. She moved back to where she was sitting before. She could see on his face that he was enjoying every second of this.

His smile widened as he unstretched one hand and snapped his fingers with the other. A fat, long-legged spider hovered over his hand, and she started crying again. She did not want to look at it, but on the other hand, if she did not, she could not know where it was. She watched in horror as the small creature clumsily and frantically tried to move in the air but could not.

Raphael studied it with a bored gaze while she pleaded for him to stop.

“Have you ever noticed how the creatures humans fear irrationally are rarely mammalian?” he mused over her sobbing. “Spiders, insects, snakes, birds…I do suppose rats and mice are an exception, but there is a theme, isn’t there?”

She had backed herself into the corner of the room. She could not get further away, and she was still uncontrollably crying.

“Cats, dogs, horses…Feeble-minded creatures, but the human need to anthropomorphize makes you believe that they are perhaps not so different from yourself. A spider, on the other hand…”

She let out a long whine as he pinned the spider to one position in the air and made it hover slowly towards her face. She screamed when it came to a stop in front of her. Its legs were still moving, but it was facing her. She could not breathe.

“It’s scared,” Raphael cooed mockingly. “Terrified, like you. Yet you cannot sympathize with it. Your brain will not let you. So much for human compassion, hm?”

He got up from his chair. He snapped his fingers, and the spider disappeared. He leaned down slightly and loosely put his hand around her neck. The claw on his thumb dug into her as he tilted her head back to look at him.

“Look at me.”

She whimpered and looked up at his face.

“Tell me, my sweet,” he purred. “What is it like to stare into the eyes of a creature and realizing that they do not work like you? That they do not have feelings in any way that you understand them? That there is nothing human in there…”

She looked into those yellow eyes of his and felt the same way as he just described.

“Terrifying…” she muttered.

“Good,” he said in a low growl, smiling at her. “Terrifying, yes.”

He snapped his fingers, and she felt something on her shoulder. She frantically tried to move away, but Raphael’s grip around her neck tightened. He pushed her head back against the wall.

“Don’t. Move,” he said firmly. “You are not leaving this cell before you realize that the only thing in this world you will ever need to fear, is me. Serve me well, and you will never have to fear at all…”

She felt the spiders furry legs move slowly over her skin. She gasped for breath as her tears started rolling down her cheeks again. She knew that Raphael would not stop this before she did as he said. His grip loosened when he saw her freeze instead of continuing her attempt to flee.

He let go of her and stood up tall to admire her pathetic state on the floor. He began unbuttoning his doublet while he watched. She felt the spiders legs on her collarbone, slowly making its way across her chest. She sobbed quietly and did everything in her power not to move.

“I think it likes you,” Raphael purred in an amused tone.

He hung his doublet over the chair. He was only in his white shirt and pants, and she could now see just how excited the whole situation was making him. His erection strained against his pants. He walked closer to her so that he was now towering above her.

He slowly tipped her head back with a claw under her chin.

She screamed but the fear had now paralyzed her so much that she could not move even if she wanted to. There were hundreds of them above them on the ceiling, and they were all the size of a palm. The scream turned into a sob as she stared upwards.

He was smiling in an almost fond way as he feasted on her terrified expression. She felt his hand cup her cheek. He wiped the tears on her cheeks with his palm, before moving his hand to his now freed member. He gave it a few lazy strokes, using her tears to lubricate his length while he watched her with a heavy-lidded gaze. He gave a content sigh.

He put his thumb and index finger on each side of her jaw with his free hand, forcing her to open her mouth.

“If I feel teeth, I will show you the true meaning of fear,” he warned.

He ran the tip of his cock over her bottom lip, smearing his precum on her trembling mouth. He pressed his cock inside and her mouth closed around it. A deep groan escaped his mouth.

“Such a good girl,” he purred with a smile.

He began slowly moving in and out of her mouth with languid thrusts. His hand moved to where the spider had nestled in her cleavage to pick it up. He gently placed it on her head, making her sob around his cock. She choked as she forced herself not to bite him. He growled in pleasure.

“We are making such wonderful progress, my dear,” he said. His voice was slightly breathier and huskier now. “I believe that you are beginning to understand… Fear does not excuse negligence.”

Her eyes closed shut as she could feel the spider’s legs on her face. She whimpered, but the sound came to an abrupt end when he shoved his cock further down her throat. He gently shushed her and caressed her tear-stained cheek with his thumb. She could not breathe.

She gagged but he did not seem to care. The sounds she made, the way her crying and trembling was making her throat feel, the way she looked so utterly pathetic: it was pure bliss for him. He suddenly snapped his fingers. She felt the spider on her face disappear. Her eyes opened and she looked at the ceiling: nothing.

She did not get to revel in her relief before Raphael started fucking her face with hard, violent thrusts. His hand clasped around her throat again in a hard grip. She could not breathe at all, and she started squirming and panicking. Her limbs flailed as she tried to get away, but her back was up against the wall. There was nowhere to move.

She tried pushing him away, hitting his legs, but he was unmovable. She looked up at him with panicked and pleading eyes, and it only seemed to excite him further. He did not cease his violent assault on her face.

“I lost a small fortune,” he growled. “All because of a frightened, stupid, little girl.”

She tried everything to move, but his grip on her only tightened when she did. Soon, she would not have the energy to fight anymore. Her throat was hurting so much. The grim thought that this might be how she died flashed into her mind, making her panic even worse.

“Nothing would excite me more than watching the life leave your eyes,” he growled as if having read her thoughts. “Instead, I think I will let this be a reminder to you, dear girl: the next time you feel tempted to let your fear control you, remember what it gets you… Nothing.”

She stopped moving and she could feel herself slowly beginning to lose consciousness. He shoved his cock as far down her throat as it would go. Her nose was brushing against his pelvis. It was painful and she felt like throwing up. He gave a deep groan as he came down her throat.

She gasped for breath when he pulled out. She coughed hard. She spat a mix of blood, cum, and saliva onto the floor in front of her as she wheezed for breath. She felt like throwing up, but she couldn’t.

When she finally looked up, Raphael was watching her with a small smile as he began buttoning his doublet.

“I trust you have learned your lesson?”

She nodded quickly. She could not stop coughing, and every cough felt swallowing knives.

“Good,” he purred. “You did well…”

He turned and opened the door to the cell with a snap. She tried to scramble to her feet to follow him out. Just as she had gotten up off the floor, he stepped outside the cell and closed the door in her face.

He smirked as he looked at her for a long moment. Then his eyes slowly drifted to the ceiling above her. Her lips began trembling again as she kept looking at him.

“Korrilla will come get you in the morning,” he said in a cold, even tone. “If I have decided to forgive you by then…”

There was the softest thud as she felt something land on her shoulder. Then another on the floor. Then another as she felt something fall off her head. Then another.

There were no more tears in her, and no screams came out of her ruined throat. Just a quiet, broken wheeze came out of her mouth as she looked upwards.

[malky-tea]

The latest and newest artwork I'm pouring on the internet for the first time, hehe

This is my character that I play in Changeling: The Dreaming. It's been a long time since I've had such an easy, enjoyable and comfortable game. All the other games were good too, don't think so. I just feel like it's MY thing. Maybe it's the fact that I finally didn't limit myself and decided to take ALL the things I love and combine them into one character? Well, that makes sense…

Her name is Charlene René Wade, but in the fairy community she is known as Leofrun from the House Ailil. She has recently passed her Chrysalis and the Fior-Righ, but has already earned the title of knight in the course of our chronicle. She is a very emotional and passionate Autumn Sidhe from Unseelie Court. She enjoys making devious plans, participating in intrigue, unraveling other people's schemes and learning dirty secrets. More than anything, she longs to benefit the noble House Ailil. She likes to be a bit dramatic, although she loves fun and taking care of her loved ones. Sometimes she wants to appear more cold and impenetrable than she really is (she is far from it).

Like any Sidhe from House Ailil, she strives to be seen as nothing less than ideal and when that naturally doesn't happen… It hurts her. Sometimes she gets overly emotional and allows herself to think overly violent things. Part of her is frightened by this urge to burn cities and shoot at knees and… Charlene doesn't usually remember what happens next. A piece of her life falls out of her memory and it's good if she finds herself in a familiar place. She doesn't know, but in these moments that very part of her really wants to placate the universe and show that she is not bad, but on the contrary the kindest girl in the world.

❤ She has a chimerical dragon named Opal ❤ Loves cherries in any form, including cigarettes and perfume ❤ Very fond of human history and hopes to become a historian already in the society of changelings ❤ Very passionate about tragedies and stories with bad endings ❤ Afraid to engage in close combat and shuns the sight of blood. Instead, she has learned to shoot and loves firearms. She has a chimerical gun, which she named after the dragon guarding the Garden of the Hesperides ❤ At the beginning of the timeline she hated House Gwydion, now she will fight for loved ones from that house ❤ She loves abandoned houses with old attics ⛓︎ Afraid of repeating the fate of characters from her favorite tragedies ⛓︎ Ruined her relationship with her own Lady. ⛓︎ Very easily offended by things that another would not even pay attention to ⛓︎ Sometimes she dreams of previously agonizing death experiences and these dreams throw her off balance ⛓︎ Tends to succumb to paranoid thoughts and see enemies everywhere ⛓︎ Smokes a lot, literally can't live without cigarettes ⛓︎ Her family is known for her mother committing Rhapsody. Because of that, Charlene has a bad reputation, too

[daenysthedreamersblog]

hey if you’re doing requests I have one!

So basically it’s presidential snow, and he has a maid/nanny who tends to his kid(s?) and basically, she’s not openly a rebel, but she obviously doesn’t agree with the capitol // she’s from the districts // and she ends up teaching that to his kids (accidentally?) and well he finds out.

thank youuuuu (don’t use this if u don’t wanna obviously!!)🫶

warnings: MDNI! power imbalance, swearing, non-con, spanking, fingering, m masturbation

You weren't even sure how you ended up here, sitting on a plush carpeted floor watching over two blonde headed children that weren't yours playing with gaudy toys. You had been poor, lived in your too-small home with your too-large family out in the districts...and now you were in an isolated mansion.

It wasn't fair really that they had all of this while everyone else was made to suffer and starve and fend for themselves, fight to the death in that archaic arena.

So, when the opportunity came along to help out your family in exchange for...well you, you took it in a heart beat even though it meant you had to reside here, and raise his children. It didn't matter how you felt, or how scared you had been at first to leave home, your family was better off in this arrangement even if sometimes it made your skin crawl in annoyance at this rigged system.

You tried your best, but it wasn't easy hiding your disdain for everything around you. It came in whispered comments, or unwanted facial expressions, or on your worst days blatant statements about it all. They children would just glance at you recognizing the shift in mood. The children were young, they couldn't possibly understand.

Or so you thought.

"Daddy!" They ran to the door at your back hugging his legs as you climbed to your feet. You took him in, his tall frame, the neat suit he had that hugged his figure too well. You wished he was ugly, you wished the horrible insides he had would reflect outwardly. It would make it easier to not look at him so much despite knowing the frigid soul he contained.

He patted their heads then his eyes snapped to you, "I just need to borrow you for a minute." Your palms sweat as you nod following him out of the room and towards his home office. He opens the door for you letting you lead the way before closing it behind himself, locking you both within.

"Is some-!"

"We had the most interesting conversation at breakfast this morning." You didn't normally eat with them when they all were together and at this particular meal you hadn't been at. He came towards you more, "Livia and I were talking about the next Games and our daughter declared she will never watch another one again in protest for the barbaric event." He was staring down at you with a condescending smile, "Now I don't know about you, but that seems a little strange for her to know a sentiment like that."

Your eyes quivered horror seizing you knowing those words had been muttered under your own breath, "President Snow, I-!"

"Bend over the desk." You open your mouth to be confused, but he shakes his head. "I won't repeat myself again."

You're shaking as you walk towards that monstrous mahogany desk. You lower your chest down against it, cool wood pressing into you face as his slow steps come towards you. "I'm sorry sir." You whisper.

His hand trails down your spine, "I know." The plea sits in your throat, you'll do anything to keep him from reporting you, from getting you hung for treason. "I know." He has you right where he wants you as he pushes your dress over your hips.

You scream as his hand comes down on your ass. "Stop!" You squirm but he wraps his other arm around your waist to keep you put. He's yanking your underwear down your legs bunching them up into his palm and shoving them into your mouth.

He spanks you again. "That's it. Be quiet and think about what you've done." His hand comes down again as tears break through your eyes, "Naughty, naughty girl." You cry into the fabric as he spanks you again. He slaps you over and over and over again until your body goes limp across the desk, until all you can feel is the jolt of your body with each hit and a hardness poking into your side. He caresses the burning cheek, attempting to soothe the raw skin, but he doesn't spank you again. "You did so good." You want to vomit but your brain feels muddled with pain you barely register his fingers gliding between your legs.

You groan.

"Shh," He hushes you running a hand along your folds. "You'll take this too." He pushed two fingers inside of you. You buck backwards finding some strength to try to run from it, but he's digging into your side to hold you against him fingers pushing up, up, up into you. He curls them some whine leaving you, muffled by fabric in your dry mouth as he moves his hand faster. It feels wrong, it feels wrong to have pleasure burning through you and you blame the pain still throbbing in your backside as the squelching sound fills the room. "Hmm that's it, there's my good girl." He kicks your legs apart spreading you open for him more as he thrust his hand violently into you. "Let me do whatever I want to you isn't that right?" You shake your head as you squeeze your eyes fighting the orgasm building in your bones. He somehow manages to reach his hand up your body to knead into the flesh of your breast groaning out as it forces your back to arch more for him. You hate this, you hate yourself, you hate him and his stupid children. "Cum for me." His hard cock digs into your side as your body curls around his desk knees falling inward.

You do. With his hand buried deep inside your cunt, you clamp down around him your cry silenced by your own underwear the chilling desk cooling your scorched skin. You go limp again as his hand stills inside of you letting your orgasm throb around his knuckles and slid down his wrist.

He moves his other hand that isn't inside of you and shifts it between his legs, and then you feel him. Feel him gliding his hand along his cock next to your sore body, fucking his hand to the sight of your glistening bare pussy and the hand print welted into your ass. You glance towards the window at the back wall listening to the sick wet sounds, the curses and grunts, and you feel more wetness slip out of you. It doesn't take him long for him as hot ropes of cum splatter across the tender flesh.

He leans over your body, mouth pressed against your ear, "If you ever spew that rebel bullshit to my children again I'll shove my cock so far down your throat you'll never be able to speak again." He rips his hand out of you and slams it down one last time on your raw ass cheek. You can hear him licking your pleasure off of his fingers while your nails break from holding onto the wood too tight, "Don't pretend you don't want it either."

He leaves you lying there across his desk shaking, in pain, and vowed to silence.