#I swear I've read every single on in existence

[brianakane]

Me trying to find legendborn/selbree fanfiction on ao3:

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Save a Cow

Steven Grant x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals •Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | requestinfo• ko-fi •

Summary: Steven finds a badge in a charity shop.

A/N: I, erm... so I wrote this.

Warnings: oral (m! receiving), some dirty talk, swearing, pre-existing relationship with reader, over use of italics, typos, not beta read, railroad sentences, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 833

Steven had chuckled when he’d seen it. The pin badge in the little tray by the cashier's desk, it was one of many. Most were Happy Birthday badges, a couple with cartoon animals on them. But this one was the only that stood out. 

‘Save a cow, eat a vegan’, with a little cartoon bovine. 

The badges were 50p. He’d picked it up and put it on top of his main purchase - a book on prehistoric cultures around the world that he’d been trying to find for ages and despite usually selling for upwards of £50 online, this charity shop had only put £2.50 on it. It didn’t even look like it had been opened.

“That’s £3, all together.” 

Steven gave him a tenner and put the rest of the change in the donation pot.

He’d pined it on his shirt before he put the book in his bag, and continued about his day. 

In all honesty, he’d practically forgotten about it and the fact that he was wearing it had slipped his mind. 

It was only later on that evening, when you pointed it out as he walked in the door and was in the middle of taking off his shoes, that he remembered. 

“Oh!” He giggled, giving the edge of it a flick and grinning. “Made me laugh, didn’t it? Only 50p too! I also found-”

“Okay.” You said simply, dropping to your knees. 

Steven frowned, so completely bewildered for a second that he didn’t even catch the wicked gleam to your eyes. 

“Love? What are you-” he swallowed harshly, practically choking on his words as you ran your right hand up his inner thigh, while you palmed his dick with your left. 

You look up at him with a fake innocence. “I’m doing what the badge says? Saving a cow?” 

“Ohhh,” he let out a little shuddered breath as you undid his belt and unzipped his trousers, letting them hang low on his hips. His cock twitched, already half hard as his blood rushed downwards and heartbeat increased. 

You nuzzle him through his boxers, mouthing at his balls until a shaky groan slips from between his parted lips. 

“Love,” he shivers, fighting the maddening urge to buck his hips and push himself closer, to grab your shoulders and force you against him. 

You slowly hook your fingers under his waistband and pull them down his thighs. The second the head of his cock is free you lap at the tip eagerly, small firm strokes that has his stomach muscles twitching under the strain. 

Heat pools and twists in his belly, burning deep as you lightly suck his head into your warm, wet mouth. 

He lets out a groan, breathless and needy as his cock hardens quickly. You stroke his balls with your free hand as you suck him deeper, greedily taking more and more and Steven squirms, unable to hold himself back a second longer. 

“Love, fuck,” he pulls on your shoulders, grabbing at the back of your neck as he shallowly thrusts, encouraging you to match his frantic movements. “God, that’s good, that’s really good,” part of his brain isn’t working, can’t even register what he’s saying as nonsense falls out of his mouth. 

“You’re gonna have to suck harder, you know?” He shivers, bucking his hips and pushing his thick length to the back of your throat, “if you want to save a cow, gonna have to take it all, take all of me, let me come down your pretty throat,” he hisses as you whine, as you try and struggle to swallow around him. 

Your jaw aches, knees sting a little from the hard wooden floor, but Steven’s sounds are driving you insane, making you dizzyingly lightheaded with every cry and groan. 

You keep bobbing your head, salvia on your chin, keeping up with and surpassing his manic pace. You want all of him, every single part. And with each push he sinks a fraction deeper, inches closer to finally filling you completely. 

“Oh fuck,” he whines loud, his voice rising in pitch as the pressure in his stomach tightens to an impossible peak. “I’m, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna, love, ‘m sorry, please, can I-”

You suck hard, giving his balls a light squeeze and Steven all but screams. 

His hips buck twice, his fingers digging into your shoulders as he shoots hot, thick cum down your throat in a fevered rush. 

You swallow eagerly, moaning around him and holding his outer thighs to keep him steady as aftershocks roll through him.

He breathes deeply, swallowing air and you slowly take your mouth off him with a gentle pop. 

Steven sighs, his eyes glued to your lips as he traces the line of salvia on your chin with his thumb. “So good to me love,” he whispers.

You giggle and shake your head, suddenly feeling a little bashful. 

He grins, “but it’s my turn now,” he strokes your chin, “save a cow, eat a pussy?” 

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @whatthefishh

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If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

[holysupesbatman]

SuperBat Fic Recs

Woaaaah boy. I was in the Superbat tag and saw someone asking for recs and I got about 5 fics in before I realized that wouldn't fit in a reply and decided I should just make a whole post. I feel like I've read half of the Bruce/Clark tag on ao3 at this point and yet I still find more every time I look.

As a note, this post is heavily editorialized. These are all fics I've personally read and are here because I liked them and they come from my ao3 bookmarks. If you want better details about the fic, follow the links and check them out 🤷‍♀️ I'm a picky reader so the fact that it's on the list says a lot, though our tastes may vary.

Onto the recs! I'll organize them by ratings and then by length for simplicity and at the end I'll recommend some of my favorite SuperBat authors for further reading!

🦇

Rated: G

Uno Reverse by WixenBurr (~7k rated G) is really cute and fluffy

Summary: The batkids are trying to set Batman and Superman up. Unfortunately Bruce Wayne wants to date some rando news reporter named Clark Kent.

Rated: T

Know You Better by rotasha (~6k rated T)

super fluffy and cute. I adore this fic. Summary: Clark asks Bruce on a date, not knowing he’s a famous billionaire. Bruce says yes, because this is the first time this has ever happened to him.

I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am by Mardiaz173 (~13k rated T)

This one is SO much fun – Nobody believes Clark after he meets the supposed "flirty, stupid, entitled drunk" playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne when he says he's actually "clever, mischievous, and sober with an indecipherable ulterior motive."

Saudade by liodain (~20k rated T)

OK THIS ONE MAKES MY HEART MELT IT'S SO FLUFFY AND SWEET I CAN'T. Like put this on your re-read when you're sad and need to feel like love and goodness exist list. Bruce breaks down in Kansas in 2006 years before BvS and meets young Clark.

fallin' for him was like fallin' from grace by Resacon1990 (~23k rated T)

It's just 20k of Clark simping for Bruce. That's it. That's the fic. He's a golden retriever and he's in love, Your Honor. Bruce is not unaffected, but the pining is glorious.

summary: Or, five times Clark finds himself falling for Bruce, and the one time he does something about it

Mr. Romantic by Pandamomochan (~24k rated T)

ft Established Relationship SuperBat. Summary: Clark gets tasked to write a Valentine's Day article. The end result has every single women throwing themselves at him. Clark has always been patient with the drove of Brucie fans. Will Bruce be as mature with Clark's sudden popularity?

How to Date a Superhero by @solomonara (~25k rated T)

Technically a series of fics. Pure fluff. 1. Someone spots the Batman kissing Mild Mannered Reporter Clark Kent. Hijinks ensue. 2. Superman kissed Bruce Wayne in full view of several dozen phones. Now the whole world, including Lex Luthor, knows Superman has a boyfriend. But that's okay. Batman has a plan. 3. Deleted scenes from the How to Date a Superhero series, ruthlessly cut in most cases to prevent the Robins from taking over.

In every sense of the word by froggy-o (bobafiend) (~29k rated T) From the author's summary: Alternatively titled "Why Wonder Woman is on the verge of losing her fucking mind."

I swear this fic is just Diana's eyebrow twitching as she watches Bruce and Clark start dating and she's let in on both their civilian identities meanwhile Superman and Batman are on the watchtower arguing and disagreeing about basically everything on the daily. In the name of Justice, of course. The identity porn is on a whole other level and it was done so well.

Get Over It by rotasha (~32k rated T)

heh this one has plenty of identity hijinks. Sooooo funny. Summary: Bruce needs to get over his inconvenient feelings for Superman and he meets an attractive reporter who he thinks can help him do just that. Little does he know...

the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish (~96k rated T)

hehehe... the batkids set up a dating profile for Bruce and catfish Clark. It's more of a blind date for Bruce (not that he had any idea he was going on a date at all), but who has Clark been texting for the past several weeks??? Oh yeah. The kids. What follows is as follows. Still with capes!

Rated: M

Guardian Dog by BombusBombus (~22k rated M)

Summary: There's something wrong with Clark Kent. He has to be a villain, right? A threat? He doesn't behave like a normal person, no matter how handsome or clever he may seem.

grasp his heart (once and for all) by liodain (~32k rated M) soulmate AU fic. Pretty emotional LOTS of identity issues going on there like so much. Kinda high on the drama and angst there honestly but it was a cute read. Summary: Bruce Wayne doesn't believe in fate.

tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter (~33k rated M)

love me a fake dating AU. Summary: It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think.

Strangers When We Meet by Trista_zevkia (~63k rated M)

ANOTHER soulmate AU! This time feat. Kryptonian Biology hehehe. Summary: Clark Kent thought he was straight, until Batman kick started something. The question is what did Batman start? Is Brucie Wayne able to explain it to him?

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat (~77k rated M)

OK NO LISTEN this is one of my all-time favorite fics EVER. It's so meta and so funny. Clark is us. We are Clark. Clark is writing RPF for the Bruce/Batman ship and he's very convinced it's real EVEN THOUGH he has a huge crush on the Batman... let the hijinks BEGIN.

Rated: E

Embracing Destiny by Mithen (~8k rated E)

This one is just really really cute. Summary: As a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st century, a teenaged Clark learns a stunning secret about his own future: he and someone called "Batman" will be legendary lovers.

perfect strangers by susiecarter (~15k rated E)

like. bruh. susie did it again. This tag says it all: communication failure. I love this one though. Summary: Batman and Superman are fucking. Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are a great cover for fighting crime, and also might be dating. Bruce and Clark have no idea what they're doing; but they definitely aren't going to be able to talk themselves into stopping.

Relinquishing Control by foxyk (~25k rated E)

afsfwsdfhishdfksj no words. Read the authors summary and then just go read the fic:

Superman worries that if he lets go he'll injure his partner. Batman knows better. Batman worries that if he lets someone else in, he'll hurt them. Superman knows better.

Picture Perfect by TheSaltiestDog @the-saltiest-dog (~26k rated E)

this one is cute and then horny on main but also just so fluffy. Clark sees Bruce in a new light through candid shots, then proceeds to take lots of candid shots as they begin a relationship. Cue schmoop, fluff, smut, and – you guessed it! –Miscommunication!

A Night Off and sequel A Day Off by Mawiiish (~37k combined; first part is E, second is T)

One of my all-time favorites. My bookmark says 10/10 would read again soooooooo... 👀🤷‍♀️😅🥵

Bruce is enjoying one of his few nights off when a very persistent young man offers to buy him a drink. At first he's apprehensive; he's just here for a good time and this Clark seems to be looking for more than that. Then again, what harm can one drink do?

Clark wakes up to an empty bed and despite Bruce being honest from the start, he's still disappointed.

The Downsides to a Secret Identity by liodain (~42k rated E)

I'm currently reading this one – the summary from the author says it all, it's so good but sooo drama:

Bruce Wayne has taken a shine to Clark Kent, but Clark is more interested in the Bat of Gotham. The Bat, however, has it in for the Superman in a big way. Clark should probably have considered that before falling quite so hard. They're working together to track down some missing Kryptonian weaponry, after all...

50 Shades of Wayne by susiecarter (~161k rated E)

No but listen, this is actually so full of plot and emotional depth and not as much smut as you might think. It's a full-scale retelling of Batman v Superman but without them knowing each other's secret identities. I read it in one go... the reveal? Maybe the best I've ever read. Soooo many emotions. It's one of the few times I've read BDSM in a fic and it actually felt in character. I wasn't sure I would read it when I started, but it was a compelling read and extremely well done. Honestly, I'd read it again.

SuperBat Author Shoutouts:

susiecarter @susiecarter

liodain @liodain

Resacon1990 @sassyresacon1990

shipyrds @burins

Mawiiish @superbattrash

rotasha

Mithen

[chvoswxtch]

Court baby i've waiting for this moment! I have this idea for a fic living rent free in my head. Its Frank x fem!reader. They were in a very cozy and confy moment when the snap happened and reader was blipped! You could write how Frank deald with those five years and with reader coming back. With a lot of angst moments and flufly and maybe spicy after she comes back. I would love if you accept this request! Thank you, I love you ❤️

i'm not gonna lie to you, the blip is my least favorite marvel storyline, but I love you so I put myself and frank through it just for you 🖤

I would say sorry that i'm about to emotionally wreck you but in my defense, you did ask for this so...enjoy or don't

warning: swearing, mentions of blood, violence, guns, & alcohol, heavy angst, very brief allusion to suicide (blink and you miss it) word count: 4.1k

the blip.

A split second. That’s how quickly Frank lost you. He turned his back for a second to refill his mug of coffee, and when he turned back around, you had vanished seemingly into thin air. At first he thought maybe you had gone back into the bedroom to grab a sweater or something. It had been a bit chilly in the kitchen, and you were always cold. But then a few seconds turned into a few minutes, and Frank didn’t hear any shuffling or soft footsteps. He didn’t hear anything at all. The crisp silence had an icy sense of dread trickling down his spine, and when he didn’t hear your sweet voice responding to his cautious calls of your name, he went into a full blown panic.

You were gone.

Year One.

This wasn’t happening again. It couldn’t be. There was no way he had survived losing Maria and the kids just to find you, to let your endless patience and irrevocable empathy fill the gaping void in his chest, only to lose you too. It had to be some kind of cruel joke. Frank didn’t consider himself a good man; he was well aware of and acquainted with his demons. But he didn’t deserve this.

Did he?

It was forty-eight hours before anyone even knew what happened. One giant asshole snapped his fingers, and half the universe’s population ceased to exist. Frank had stopped believing in God a lifetime ago, and he certainly didn’t believe in aliens or otherworldly creatures. He had seen first hand during his time in the Marines that mankind was the real monster. But it didn’t matter that he didn’t believe in it, because it happened, and not even the fucking Avengers could stop it. Hell, half of them were gone too.

Two weeks after the snap, news broke that Thanos had been killed, and that the Infinity Stones were destroyed, but the remaining members of the Avengers were trying to come up with a way to bring everyone back. For months Frank was glued to every news outlet, frantically waiting for even the smallest of updates. Anything was something. He refused to believe that the snap was permanent. The Avengers were going to find a way to bring everyone back. They had to. 

Your pillowcase had stopped smelling like your shampoo, and Frank found himself using it and your body wash just to keep your scent on the sheets. He burned your favorite candles and read your favorite books. He wouldn’t stay gone longer than fifteen minutes in case you finally came home. He wanted to be there when you did. Frank kept himself busy with little projects around the house, things that you had mentioned changing or updating that he had promised he would get around to and never did. Frank swore to himself when you came home, things would be different. 

He would take that trip you wanted to go on. He’d take you to the shelter to pick out a dog like you had been talking about. Maybe you two would finally start a family. Whatever you wanted, he’d give you. He’d find a way to give you the goddamn moon and every single star in the sky if you wanted them. 

As soon as you came home.

But then a year went by, and nothing had changed. The anniversary of the snap came and went, and everyone seemed to give up hope on bringing everyone back, or they just decided to move on and accept that no one was coming back.

But Frank couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. He refused to believe you were really gone.

Year Two.

The worst part about the snap was that Frank couldn’t collect his vengeance in blood like he had with his family. The one who took you from him was already dead, and even if he hadn’t been, Frank had no way of reaching him. Thanos was a Titan, someone who was revered as a God to those that followed him, and Frank was just a man. A man poisoned with rage and an insatiable thirst for revenge. So, he did what he was good at. He punished. Even though half the universe’s population was gone, that didn’t mean there weren’t still monsters left on Earth.

Frank killed without mercy or prejudice. There was no sin too harmless for his wrath. His fists collided with skin and bone until there was nothing left but ivory fragments tainted crimson and torn flesh. He didn’t stop, not even when his destructive blows caused his own knuckles to crack. It had gotten to the point where he hardly reached for a gun anymore unless he absolutely had to. He preferred to use his hands or serrated steel. He wanted to inflict every ounce of pain that he felt inside on whoever was stupid enough to get in his way.

It was like he wasn’t even mentally present anymore. His conscience had been shut off somehow, and all that was left was a relentless killing machine. Whenever he ran out of targets in the city, he moved on to hunt in the next one, and the next one, and the next one. He lived primarily out of his van, or whatever dingy motel he came across on the road. He hadn’t stepped foot in your home in almost a year. He couldn’t. It was haunted by your memory, and he couldn’t desecrate the home you two had made together with what he had become.

You would be ashamed of him. You would be disgusted and horrified by the things he had done. That thought echoed in his head as he watched the water continue to run red while he stood under the weak spray of the shower head. He didn’t know what town or even what state he was in. He didn’t know what day of the week it was, or what month it was. He didn’t care. All he knew was that you were gone, and he had nothing left.

Nothing left but the white hot fury that infected his veins and had him seeking out blood like water in the desert.

Year Three.

Frank couldn’t visit you, not like he could Maria and the kids. He couldn’t even have the closure of burying you, because there wasn’t a body. There was no final resting place for you, and he didn’t think that was fucking fair. Today was your birthday, and Frank had been drowning himself in whiskey trying to dilute the painful memories that played in his head like a haunting home movie. 

The angelic sound of your voice as you read him whatever book your nose was buried in that week, your fingers slipping through his dark tresses while he laid his head on your chest and listened in pure content. The feeling of your soft lips on his heated skin and delicate noises of pleasure as your bodies connected like they were made for each other. Your melodic laughter, the silkiness of your skin, slow dancing in the living room with the moon acting as a spotlight. 

All the words he never said. All the promises he didn’t get to keep. All the dreams that wouldn’t come true.

Somehow Frank found himself in a church. He couldn’t remember the last time he stepped foot in one. Maybe it was Sunday school back when his parents still forced him to go. He had stumbled in, his heavy boots thudding along the aisle, the only other sound coming from the amber liquid sloshing around in the half empty bottle in his hand. He stopped when he got to the front, looking up at the stained glass depictions of angels, until his weary eyes landed on the savior that was nailed to the giant cross.

Frank glared at him for several minutes before hurling the half empty bottle right at the head of the statue, causing a firework explosion of shimmering shards of glass to rain over the altar and various candles that had been lit for loved ones that had passed on. His rough voice boomed throughout the empty space.

“You son of a bitch! Why didn’t you take me, huh? Why not me? She ain’t never done a goddamn thing wrong. I’m the one you want. I’m the one that deserves it. I’m the goddamn killer here, huh? I’m the fuckin’ Punisher. So you bring her back, and you take me!”

Frank started grabbing bibles from the pews and hurling them at the statue with all his strength. In his inebriated state, some of them flew right past the statue and knocked over other small figurines and candlesticks. He let out a guttural war cry every time he threw a new one, and by the time he ran out of steam, he was panting heavily, and tears had formed in his eyes.

Dropping to his knees, he looked up at the melancholic face of the statue that matched his own, and he did something he hadn’t done in years. 

He prayed.

“Please. Please, just bring her back. I’ll take her place…I won’t fight…just…just bring her back. I’m beggin’ you…I’ll do whatever it takes, alright? Just…you can’t…you can’t do this to me again. You can’t. I may deserve it, but she don’t…okay so just…just…”

Frank was tired. Three years without you was too long. He hadn’t been able to find the peace that he had found after Maria and the kids. He spent a year waging war on everyone, and it did nothing. He spent the last few months drowning himself in booze, and it didn’t help. Nothing helped, and there was nothing to keep him going. You were gone, and you weren’t coming back, so what the hell was he still getting out of bed every morning for?

Reaching into the pocket of his coat, Frank pulled out a revolver and stared down at it. There was only one bullet in the chamber, and it wasn’t meant for anyone but him. If God wouldn’t bring you back, then he would go to you.

As soon as he cocked the hammer, a familiar voice sounded behind him.

“You don’t wanna do that, Frank.”

Turning his head to look over his shoulder, Frank squinted his blurry eyes before turning back around, shaking his head with a dry laugh.

“You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me. Half the goddamn universe gets wiped out, and I get stuck with the fuckin’ altar boy.”

“Frank-”

“Mind your fuckin’ business, Red. Just cause there’s only one bullet in this chamber don’t mean I won’t handle your ass.”

Matt let out a deep exhale through his nose as he took a few cautious steps towards where Frank was on his knees in front of the altar.

“You’re drunk-”

“And you’re fuckin’ relentless. Go home.”

“Look, whoever you lost-”

“Whoever I lost? I lost everyone, Red!”

Matt didn’t flinch when Frank suddenly rose from his knees and stormed over towards him, his loud voice booming in the silence as they stood barely an inch apart. Matt cocked his head to the side slightly, his lips pursed as he grit his teeth.

“You think you’re the only one that’s lost everyone you’ve ever cared about, Frank?”

“Then what the hell are you waitin’ on, huh? You too much of a fuckin’ pussy to do it yourself, huh? That it? You need me to do it for you?”

Matt carefully reached out to place his hand on Frank’s arm, lowering the gun that was in his hand while he spoke in a calm voice.

“I don’t want to die, Frank. And I don’t think you want to either. You just want the pain to stop. But if you do this, it’s permanent, and you’ll never know if she came back.”

Frank shook his head and blew a puff of hot air out of his lips, his dark brows scrunching up in pure annoyance and frustration.

“She ain’t comin’ back-”

“You don’t know that. She’s not dead, Frank. She’s lost. Maybe she’s with Karen and Foggy. Frank, someone came down from another planet and wiped out half the universe. Is it so crazy to think that could be undone?”

The anger that was simmering inside Frank from Matt’s intrusion seemed to be burning through the alcohol in his system, and Matt’s question was igniting a tiny ember of hope that Frank wasn’t prepared to tend to. His body physically deflated as he dropped his head between his broad shoulders. There was a heavy tide of tears on his bottom lash line threatening to flood at any moment.

“Don’t do that.”

“You have to have faith, Frank-“

“I don’t, Red.”

“I do.”

Frank didn’t know when Matt managed to slip the revolver from his grasp, but he didn’t feel the weight of a permanent decision in his palm anymore. Matt had planted a tiny seed of hope, and what if’s were taking over Frank’s brain like wild ivy. 

What if there was a chance you could come back? Matt had a point, you weren’t dead. Not really. Even if the probability of it happening was one in a million, didn’t Frank owe you the same unwavering patience you had always shown him?

“Look Frank, just…give me a year. One year to show you things can be different. If you still want to make that call in a year, I won’t stop you. I’ll leave you alone. But Frank…you’ve gotten through this once before. You can do this again. If not for yourself, just try for her.”

A year. A year was nothing in the grand scheme of things. Frank had already been without you for three years now. 

What was one more?

Year Four.

Matt’s apartment was fucking obnoxious due to that goddamn billboard across the street, but it was better than the shitty motels Frank had been staying in. He still couldn’t step foot in the home he had shared with you. It had been three years now, and even though he wasn’t fully convinced you could come back, he couldn’t let it go. Everything that was you was there, and if he sold the house, that meant every trace of you and your existence was gone.

Matt had one rule for Frank staying with him; no killing. For a week, Frank lounged on the couch trying to figure out what to do with himself. He would start to read a book, but could never get more than a few pages because he remembered how much you loved to read, and then he would get stuck staring at the pages while memories of you played on loop in his head. There wasn’t a TV because Matt didn’t have use for one, and Frank didn’t care to watch anything anyway. It didn’t take long for Frank to go stir crazy. He had never been good at staying idle.

While Matt was out making the world a better place, Frank had managed to find a construction job. Busting down walls all day long allowed him to get his pent up anger out while not breaking Matt’s golden rule. Most days it felt like Frank was on autopilot. He woke up, went to the job site, smashed a sledgehammer through a wall until his hands bled, came home, tried to sleep, inevitably had a nightmare about losing you, and laid on the couch staring blankly up at the ceiling until the sun rose.

Every single day was a repeat of the last until they started to blur together. Frank didn’t speak to anyone at the job sites. He didn’t speak to anyone at all. Between Matt’s busy court schedule and his nightly patrols, they didn’t see each other often, and even when they were home at the same time, Frank still hardly spoke to him. He wasn’t sleeping, he barely ate, and on the days he had off, he didn’t leave the couch. He felt like a hollow shell of the man he used to be.

Matt knew what he was going through. Hell, he had been there himself after the second time he lost Elektra. He knew what it felt like to lose the person you loved most in this world, and that had happened to Frank twice now. He did his best to be patient, but after four months, he couldn’t take it anymore. Matt was fortunate that he’d had people that helped him combat his depression to find his way back to himself, but Frank didn’t have a soul in his corner.

Except for Matt. 

And even though Frank wasn’t shy about not wanting Matt’s help, Matt didn’t care. Frank could be stubborn, but he didn’t have the energy or the drive to match Matt’s stubbornness, and Matt used that to his advantage. He was relentless in pushing Frank to participate in life again. He purposely antagonized Frank, even if it meant being reduced to a human punching bag, because that meant Frank was still in there somewhere.

Matt started small in getting him out of the apartment, like guilt tripping Frank into joining him on trips to the grocery store.

“You’re not gonna help your blind roommate get groceries? You know, a lot of items don’t come with braille labels. So when I die because I accidentally put bleach in my coffee instead of creamer, you have to say nice things about me at my funeral.”

“You don’t need labels, Red. You got that goddamn bloodhound nose. Would you stop lookin’ at me like that? Jesus fuckin’ Christ, fine. Get your fuckin’ jacket and let’s go.”

After a while, he even managed to get Frank to join him at Fogwell’s from time to time.

“No wonder you became a goddamn lawyer. All you know how to do is fuckin’ argue, makes sense you made a livin’ outta it.”

“I’m not arguing, Frank. If we got in the ring, you would lose. That’s a fact. You don’t know how to box, you just know how to run at people and slam them into things. And you’re too bulky to move as fast as me. None of that is an argument, it’s a simple observation.”

“Why don’t you observe your ass in that ring so I can shut you the fuck up, Red.”

The more time they spent together, and the more Frank put in an effort to move forward one step at a time, the less empty he felt. The nightmares still came every so often, and there were days where the weight of your absence was too much for him to bear, but for the first time in four years, he didn’t feel so hopeless.

He could think about you without breaking down. He could see something that reminded him of you, and it warmed his heart instead of ripping it out. He had finally reached a point where he had slowly crawled out of the deep pit of grief that he had been digging for the past four years.

As much as he hated to admit it, Matt had helped him find a semblance of peace.

Year Five.

The sound of a dog barking caught Frank’s attention. He pulled his head out from under the hood of his truck, looking over at the grey and white pitbull that was standing a few feet away from the front door of the house you and Frank had lived in together that he’d finally moved back into six months ago. He glanced between the front door and the dog with his thick brows furrowed.

“What is it, Daisy?”

The dog turned her head when she heard Frank’s voice, the movement so fast it made her long velvet ears flop. She turned her attention back to the door and continued to bark. Something inside had caught her attention. Eyeing the front door warily, Frank rubbed his grease stained hands off on a small rag and walked over towards where Daisy was, kneeling down beside her to gently scratch that spot between her ears that she loved.

“Hey, shh shh shh. C’mon now, what’s got you so worked up, huh? What do you think is inside, huh? You smellin’ that-”

The sound of the front door opening caught Frank’s attention, and he instantly snapped his head in the direction of it. All of a sudden, his warm brown eyes went wide, and time seemed to freeze in that very moment. 

“Sweetheart?”

His quiet whisper was dripped in disbelief. There you were, looking exactly the same as the day you had vanished, looking between Frank and Daisy with an expression of surprise and perplexment.

“Frank?”

God, your voice. It had been five years since he had last heard it. That was all the confirmation he needed that this was real. You were real. You were really home. 

Without wasting a second, Frank stood and ran over towards you, tears filling up his eyes as he wrapped his arms around your frame and hugged you as tightly as physically possible. His heart was thrashing against his ribcage, and he was terrified this was just a vivid dream, but then he inhaled the scent of your shampoo intermingled with your perfume, felt your hands gently pressing against his back, and heard your soft angelic laughter.

“Frankie…baby…you’re crushing me.”

Frank pulled back only slightly, bringing his large hands up to cup your face to study your features, taking in every single inch of you. He caught the way you frowned softly, looking up at him in pure concern when thick tears streamed down his cheeks. You lifted your hand to delicately brush them away with the featherlight touch of your fingers.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“You’re really here.”

“Of course I’m here. Where else would I be? Baby, why are you so upset?”

As you ran your hands through his long grown out curls, a crease of bewilderment nestled in between your brows when you took in his appearance.

“Wait…what happened to your hair? It was just short five seconds ago…and you didn’t have a beard. How…how did you do that? And when did we get a dog? Frank, what-”

Five seconds ago. 

Is that all it was for you? Frank could see the visible disorientation on your delicate features, and he had a lot of questions of his own, but right now nothing mattered but you. He leaned in and captured your lips in a deep kiss, pouring every emotion he had felt in the past five years into it. He kissed you like the world could end at any moment, because for him it did the day you vanished.

When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours and let out a deep exhale of relief.

“You…you were gone, sweetheart. You were gone a long time…a long goddamn time.”

“Gone? What-”

“I’ll explain everythin’, I promise. Just…just give me a minute, please. Just let me hold you for a minute, can you do that for me, baby? Please?”

Frank had always been able to read you like a book, and he could tell by the look in your eyes that you weren’t just confused. Hearing you had been gone for a long time infused you with a sense of panic and uncertainty. But you trusted Frank, and you knew whatever hard truth he was going to tell you, he wouldn’t let you go through it alone.

“Okay.”

As Frank embraced you again, you suddenly felt a pair of paws on your back. Glancing over your shoulder, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the happy dog wagging its tail while looking between you and Frank. Reaching down, you gently pet the side of her face with a soft smile.

“Hi there, precious.”

“Daisy.”

Glancing up at Frank, your lips parted slightly when Frank told you her name. A soft smile covered his lips, the first smile to do so in five years. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear slowly.

“You always said if we got a dog and it was a girl, you wanted to name her Daisy.”

Tears welled up along your bottom lash line as you looked up at Frank, a gentle smile covering your lips. After a moment, you glanced away from Frank to look at Daisy again, letting out a soft laugh.

“I’ve waited a long time to meet you, Daisy.”

Frank gave your waist a light squeeze, leaning in to press a soft lingering kiss to your cheek.

“And we’ve been waitin’ a long time for you. Welcome home, sweetheart.”

tags: @day-dreaming-goddess @kdogreads @heimtathurs @mars-rants-a-lot @casa-boiardi @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @hazallem @avencol @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @bubuslutty @ninejlovebot @purrrfect @pennylovey @firesunflamed @oscarisaacsleftknee @ameliaswife @Vane28282 @kmc1989 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042 @utterlynuts

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ｃａｋｅ ♡

♡ I got a Big Matthew request ya'll! I love this man so much and never met someone else who loves him so, like, yay ♡

♡ Pairing: idol!boyfriend!bm x chubby!fem!reader

♡ Summary: You've been feeling insecure dating your idol boyfriend but a weekend away quiets your worries

♡ Genre: fluff/smut

♡ Word Count: 1.3kish

♡ Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, & that's all babes

When your boyfriend suggested that you rent a house by the shore for the weekend, complete with your own private stretch of beach, you thought it was kind of excessive given the price. Even still, Matt insisted that nothing could ever cost too much when it came to his girl and you were on your way to the beach house in a matter of days. Now, as you sit along the white sandy beach on your striped towel reading that one book you’ve been putting off reading for ages, you’re happy that he convinced you to come.

Nothing in recent memory has been as soothing as the clear blue water crashing to shore. Birds fly above singing the sort of song that could lull you off to sleep in minutes. The bright rays of the sun are softened by the few clouds that surround it. You smile to yourself thinking of how hesitant you were to come only to find yourself dreading the thought of ever leaving. “Baby!” You hear Matt’s voice booming in the distance.

You peek over your shoulder to glimpse his muscular 6 '1 frame waving to you from the balcony of the beach house, not too far from where you are. In nothing more than a pair of gray sweatpants, your mind can’t help but drift off to the filthiest place possible at the sight of him. “Hey you!” you shout back, smiling sweetly despite your recent thoughts. Matt smiles back, his phone casually held up in your direction, “Say ‘hello’ to the people!”

“To the people?” you ask, eyes squinting as you notice the phone in his hand, “What people?” “I’m on Instagram live, baby. Get up. Come on!” In an instant, your heart’s in your stomach. Instagram? Live? You jump to your feet, wrapping the towel around your sheer black bikini. “Matt, you’re joking right?” you laugh, praying you’re right, “You can’t do that can you?” A part of dating an idol that you never questioned was the secrecy with which you had to navigate your relationship. No one besides his inner circle could know, especially not his fans.

It was honestly a relief for you. Not because you were afraid of how his fans would react but because you were nervous it might be weird for him if everyone knew he was with a plus sized woman. Matt has never made you feel anything short of beautiful yet somewhere inside of you there still exists this fear of how things might change if you went public. How he might change. You feel every single one of these thoughts flooding your brain at once. And, like the little hermit crab scurrying past your discarded book, all you want to do is hide. 

But you won't have to because he’s not embarrassed. From the moment he flipped the camera onto you, you’d officially gone public and the only thing he’s done is look out at you with stars in his eyes. “She is cute, isn’t she?” he says in response to a commenter, “Oh! Baby! Baby! Show them the bathing suit I got you! Her body in this? Oh my god!” “Stop it. You’re just saying that” you blush, softening in the presence of his adoration.

“I’m not. I swear you look so good, Y/N. Your body’s everything.” Matt’s excitement rubs off on you, even from a distance. Before you can second guess yourself you’ve dropped the towel, standing there feeling shyer than you ever have but somehow…liberated? “Yeah! Come on, girl! 360! 360!” he chants and you roll your eyes, offering him a graceful pageant spin. 

“Damn, I love you girl!”

“I love you too!”

You break into a fit of giggles, covering your face with your hands. Matt switches the camera back on himself, throwing up a peace sign. “You guys, I've gotta go. I’m…kinda in a mood now so take care of yourselves, okay?” Hanging up the phone, he leans over the railing, biceps flexing as he grips the ornate metal. “Meet me downstairs” he says in a voice…the voice…that lets you know exactly what he’s thinking. He winks at you, disappearing into the house, and you’re running to meet him like it’s Christmas morning.

Your bodies collide in the luxuriously decorated living room. Matt scoops you into his arms, kissing along your neck as you adjust your legs around his waist. The air conditioning’s off but you still get chills when his lips gently run along your collarbone. “You sure you should’ve done that?” you ask, playing with his short neon green hair. He looks up at you, his expression serious enough that you can’t question a word he says next.

“I know what you were worried about. It could never be that with us. I’m so proud to have you.” You almost tilt your head down, flustered beyond words, but he kisses you before you can. Having his lips against yours, his tongue exploring parts of your mouth only he’s ever been able to reach, is getting you wet already. “So beautiful” he whispers, long fingers slipping between your thighs to stroke your slit. Your bikini might be moisture wicking but there’s no denying how wet you are.

Pushing the material to the side, he presses two fingers into you. You gasp into his mouth, palming the thick bulge in his pants. “You want it?” he teases. “Mmm” you hum, nibbling at his bottom lip, “Just shut up and give it to me.” You’re rarely this bold but it drives him crazy when you are. In the blink of an eye he has you against the wall, a breadcrumb trail of clothes behind you. Your hands ride smoothly across his sculpted body as he caresses the softness of yours, guiding his head to your quivering entrance.

When he raises his hips, pushing into you, you whine and all he can do is groan at how pretty you sound. The way it feels to have him inside of you…it’s like electricity prickling at the tips of your fingers. It’s the waves of his movements washing against your shore, giving and taking from you all at once. He holds you so effortlessly, makes you feel so light, that the only thing you have to focus on is the pleasure that reverberates through your core when he grinds into you.

“Oh…fuck. Just like that” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders when he hits a particularly sensitive spot. Matt slams into you harder, hitting your sweet spot every time, “Like this?” “Yes…mmph…I’m gonna…” You lay your head on his shoulder and he strokes your hair, his other arm keeping you steady for him. “It’s okay, baby” he coos, kissing your shoulder, “Come.” You’re shaking, doing your best not to scratch him but you can’t help it, when you finally come apart, gushing around him.

You press your face into him, muffling your moans. Matt tugs your hair, gently tilting your head back, “I wanna hear you.” So you let him, filling his ear with every noise you can make. Some you didn’t even know you could. When your body collapses, your muscles reduced to jello, he carries you over to the couch and lays you on your back. “You good?” he asks, caressing your soft belly before resting his head on it. “Are you good? You’re kinda big for this couch aren’t you?” you tease, legs wrapping around him once again.

“Shut up!” he shoots back, lifting his head to kiss your stomach. Nuzzling against you, taking deep breaths of your scent, he stares up at you the way he did on the balcony. “Mine” he sighs, “Now everyone knows it…” And for once the thought of that isn’t scary. In fact, you’ve never been happier ♡

[mellozheist]

Hi guess who got no sleep last night (thanks doctor's appointment) and decided to watch your animatic again

I quote myself about 1 hour ago in a treebark channel on a discord server my friends and I made (to anybody that reads this i am so sorry):

(Also I'm sorry if somebody's uncomfortable with swearing :'D)

"[Link]

I'm sorry I still can't handle this animation's existence peoples

I can't with it

I'm crazy

Like REN PUTTING HIS HEAD BACK ON AND CALMING DOWN MARTYN WHO'S PANICKING?????

REN BEING SO CALM AND THEN FUCKING CRAZY IN THE NEXT SHOT?????

FUCKING HELLO????

THE VERY FIRST FEW SHOTS WHERE MARTYN IS LOOKING AT REN BEING ALL EXCITED AND BLUSHING??????

THE END????????

THEM HAVING THEIR PINKIES WRAPPED AROUND???? I EVEN SENT MELLOZ AN ASK ABOUT THAT AND THEY TOLD ME "oh yeah they indirectly promised to see each other in the next life series :3" MELLOZ IS SINGLEHANDEDLY KILLING THE TREEBARK SHIPPERS WITH THIS ONE

MARTYN HOLDING REN'S HAND AND KISSING IT BEFORE DYING ALSO

GUYS I BEG

I CAN'T WITH THIS

I CANNOT

I AM UNABLE TO

Oh my gosh FCUKING REN PUTTING HIS HEAD BACK ON AND LOOKING AT MARTYN WITH THOSE DANG EYES

Guys I need to resist spamming this thing in here

But at the same time IT'S SOOOOOO TEMPTING

FUCKIN

LOOK AT IT

[Link]

GRIPPING MY HEAD FURIOUSLY

THIS WHOLE BEHEADONG SCENE

I JUST NOTICED REN'S NECK DOESN'T LIGN UP PROPERLY IN THE SHOT WHERE MARTYN KISSES HIS HAND

GUYS I'M INSANE

GIYS I'M INSANE

LOOK AT THISSSSSSS

Furiously rattling the bars of my cell is that what it's called

Honestly I never thought I'd go insane over a ship called treebark

IT'S FUCKING BAUMRINDE IN GERMAN

BAUMRINDE IS SUCH A SILLY SHIP NAME ISTFG

I don't think I've ever loved an animatic thid much

I'VR NEVER LOOKED AT AN ANIMATIC SO CLOSELY

THE FACT THE FIRST SCENE IS SO SWEET AND THE SECOND ONE IS ALREADY REN BEING BEHEADED

I wish they won. I wish Ren or Martyn was the winner of 3rd Life

CAN'T I HAVE L8KE

A LITTLE FAIRY THAT MAKES MY WISHES COME TRUE?

C'MOOOOONNNNN [insert a bunch of screaming emotes here]

AGH I CAN'T

...what if i copied every single message and sent melloz this as an ask to show my appreciation

CUZ I SURE DO APPRECIATE THIS ANIMATIC

[Link]

WATCH THIS. WATCH. OBSERVE. NOW. I BEG.

I'VE WATCHED THIS FOR 5 TIMES IN A ROW NOW

I'M VERY SANE

I STILL CAN'T GET OVER REN'S NECK NOT ALIGNING PROPERLY

also the feather and the poppy but this is the treebark channel

Not

Not desert duo

I CAN'T

.........do i send this as an ask i am very sane i promise

One of my very favourite scenes though is the beheading scene, funnily enough

Me literally passing out when I see gore but not here cuz idk baumrinde <333333

Also here

HIS NECK.

IS NOT.

ALIGNING.

Or what if it's his head falling off after death cuz he died and that determination is no longer there to keep dogwarts, causing his hesd to fall off

New headcanon i think

And I just noticed I watched this like 6 times now DESERVED THOUGH

Gonna watch it again

I love them so much

I love this animatic so much

Guys I can't

WAIT DID MARTYN'S EARS TILT DOWN IN THE REN DEAD SCENE

HOLD

WAIR YEAH

HIS EARS TILTED DOWN

I CAN'T

Somebody stop me

Actually no

Oh also the song choice IS PERFECT????????

WAIT REN'S PONYTAIL IS GONE IN THE LAST SCENE HIS HAIR IS OPEN

YAAAAAYYYYYY

Anywhoozles

[Link]

WATCH THIS.

I BEG

EVERYBODY THAZ DOESN'T IS MISSING OUT THIS IS SO COOL"

And with that, Melloz you're amazing, EVERYBODY WATCH THE ANIMATIC EVER >:D

I have so much fun reading this, It's like I'm in a theater seat watching this happen with 4D sound surrounding Lmaoooo

Thank you for sending this to me I really appreciate this <3333

I'm so happy you eating all the details I put in hehe

though the part where you describe Ren's neck as not aligning is probably just my error in art but that's also a really cool headcanon!

I might adopt that headcanon :d Like drawing Martyn carrying Ren's head

you really made my day Thank yooou :D

hope you get a good night sleep bud

[chrizztopher97]

WARNING: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Idol!Chan, Fan!FemReader, swearing, oral, piv, unprotected sex, breast play, praise, name calling.

It has been a day ever since you went to Stray Kids tour date in Seoul and you just couldn't get Chan's solo stage off your mind.

You were sitting in the park with your laptop on the picnic table, one tab playing over and over the HD video they uploaded not long after the concert you experienced and the image of him stripping the jacket off of himself while staring right your way just kept on popping on.

You knew he was just staring blankly but just the idea of him taking off his clothes while looking right into your eyes made you fold in half.

Unable to resist it, you started writing a smut but all you could write was a scene of you begging and pleading, asking him to suck him off, begging him to fuck you in every way possible.

Lost in your own imagination you visioned everything you wrote and as the image of him entering you from the side, lying down on your bed while he held your leg up with his face buried in your neck you jumped on the bench and took your face in your hands.

"I'm definitely out of my mind..." You exasperated as you started deleting the entire line.

"Hey hey, I'm still reading." A voice mumbled from behind your shoulder making you turn around before closing the laptop.

Tumblr will save it for you anyways.

"When.. what.. why?" You could only ask as he, the main thought of your sinful thoughts was pouting at your action.

"I've been here ever since you started writing it." He mumbled sitting next to you, "as for the what, I was kinda curious since you typed so fast while listening on repeat to my song." his eyes looked at you and you could see a faint smirk on his lips. "As for the reason, well you kept on repeating my name over and over so I just came."

Pointing at the now closed laptop, he chuckled. "Well, not yet."

"I don't know if I should apologise for writing such things about you or be mad at your teasing..." You whined as you sat on the bench.

"I think you should apologise..." He mumbled making your heart stop and the realisation of doing something bad hitting you. "for not continuing and almost deleting the entire thing." He whispered taking the laptop.

The need to fight back to get it back was there but a part of you wanted to know what he liked just by him reading your scenarios.

"Just don't mind me and continue." He said passing the laptop to your way.

"You-" Taking a deep breath you unlocked the pc and bit your lip. "but don't get all sensitive later." You mumbled.

Closing your eyes for a moment was enough to let your own thoughts flow from your head, envisioning it in the back of your eyelids, to finally flow in your fingers.

A scene of you on your knees begging to suck him off while he looked down at you, your fingers trembled as you typed.

The Y/N of that one story was you and you wanted to write all the things you craved. Every single thing you wanted him to do to you.

Writing about how you wanted him to hold your head, massaging your scalp while you took all of him deep down your throat.

Noting down the way you wanted him to manhandle you, hold you by the hips while he kissed you so passionately.

As if you forgot where you were, a soft whimper escaped your lips as your breathing became unstable and shaky. Your thighs pressed together while in your eyes you could see everything so clearly.

Him holding you in his arms while you rode him, you calling his name over and over, pleading him to love you, begging for his existence.

"Fuck." You gasped standing up and retracting from your seat but an arm sneaked behind you, holding you still.

Almost forcing you to sit back down and so you did. How could you not when he was right there, beside you. Reading straight into your mind.

Your naked thoughts revealed to him. Your soul completely exposed while your heart busted inside your chest, begging for his love and attention.

"Go on." He whispered in your ear.

That's when you finally lost it. Your sanity disappeared making you write something you've never thought you would ever.

Exposing your own preference in bed as you wrote a scene where he railed you over and over, you begging for more, clinging onto him for dear life as you screamed over and over 'more'.

Describing how he held you down, kissing you everywhere, indulging you in the sweetest sinful pleasure between two souls. His hands all over you, his hard length slipping in and out of you with squelching noises while your throbbing core clamped down on him, your hands grabbing every part of him, your nails digging in his skin as he pressed deeper and harder.

A railway of emotions washed over you as you felt yourself nearing an orgasm by solely imagine the scene.

Completing the page, you bit down on your lip and saved it as a draft before turning off the laptop and look down.

"I think it's best if I go at home..." You mumbled as you stood up slowly.

He hummed in response standing up and grabbing your laptop case before grabbing your stuff and look at you. "I'll walk you home."

Looking up to him you shook your head. God knows what you would have done to him if you were near your apartment.

"There's no need." Was all you could say even if you craved more of his company.

"It's late." He just said, his head loaming above yours as if to engulf you in his presence.

═══════☆♡☆═══════

As you stood in front of your apartment door, you grabbed your laptop and held it in your arms. Feeling your legs weak, you leaned onto the wall as you stared at him.

Wanting to engrave in your memory the way his face looked up close before he'd disappear from your life as if you've never even met.

Engraving the way his eyes stared at you, the way his parted lips shaped the form of a heart, the way his breathing sounded shallow, the way that hoodie enveloped his toned chest.

Oh... how bad you had it for him. You already knew that you'd miss him already.

"What's your username on tumblr?" His voice came out so softly.

It felt as if you've heard him only in your head.

"Chrizztopher97..." You whispered shyly.

Noting it down on his phone, he tossed it inside his pocket once again before coming closer, his body a few inches from yours as he stared down at you.

The way his body engulfed you making you disappear from sight, just that was enough to make the butterflies fly all around your body.

"Sweet dreams..." He whispered leaning in to plant a caste kiss on your forehead before taking a couple of steps back.

"You too..." Your heart fluttered at the way his soft lips felt on your skin yet it felt a burning feeling lingering there.

Smiling softly you looked at him for a moment before unlocking your door and enter the apartment. Leaving all your stuff at the door, without shoes you went back outside hoping he was still there and thankfully he was.

"Christopher." You stopped in front of the elevator. "Stay with me," you pleaded as you looked at him. "please."

Walking out of the elevator, he took a step then another and another until you found yourself trapped against your door. "Want me to stay?" He whispered as his eyes gazed right into yours.

Nodding as you lost yourself in his eyes, you heard the door unlock and his voice softened. "Forgive me, I saw the code..." He whispered before holding you by the hips and pushing the door open.

His body heaving as he breathed shakily, his feet stumbling on each other just to get rid of his own shoes. His foot kicking the door shut before he walked blindly with you as the source of his eyes.

"What shall I do to you, hmm?" His words ringed in your ears as he leaned over.

His lips a few inches from yours.

"Kiss me, please..." Your voice trembled as all you wanted was him.

All of him.

There, the throbbing feeling, that shaky and ragged breathing you had whenever you were about to faint yet, it was all because you craved for him.

Without saying anything he let his lips touch yours in a soft motion, a simple peck stamped on your lips before looking at you for a moment and let loose.

His lips now finally locked with yours in a slow, intimate kiss. His hands moving behind your back, pushing you closer to him as the both of you indulged in a marvellous kiss that made the tender feeling turn into pure hunger.

Your hands rested around the nape of his neck, slowly taking off his beanie and tossing it somewhere in the living room before let your hands bury themselves in the lock of his soft curls.

His hand slowly moving down the curve of your back, cupping the ass cheek softly yet tightly. Making the first sinful sound escape your lips and flow into his mouth making a muffled grunt come out.

"Up." Was all he needed to say for you to understand what he wanted.

Jumping in his arms, he held onto your ass and sat onto the couch with you on his lap.

Heated and with trembling hands you reached the edge of his hoodie. Slowly sneaking your hand on his stomach, tracing the lines of his abs, grazing it lightly with your nails.

Head on cloud nine as your tongues swirled around each other, his plush lips pressed on yours while unholy moans escaped both your mouths, gulping each other's breath down.

Out of breath, you rested your forehead on his. Eyes closed as you took in the scent of him, his cologne now lingering on your shirt.

"Give me your hands." He whispered softly as he leaned back.

Without objecting you obeyed.

Taking your hands in his, he kissed your fingers before cupping his cheeks with your hands.

With softened eyes you smiled. He might have looked very appetizing after that heated kiss, but he still looked so adorable.

Tracing the outline of his lips, you leaned in to steal a kiss. "Can I do this?" You questioned, eyes half lidded as you stole more kisses.

He didn't answer, he just let you do what you wanted.

He was now breathing shallowly, as if to calm himself.

Kissing his lips over and over, you let yourself loose. Lips trailing on his neck, softly biting on his skin making him grip tight on your butt. Your hands moved down, feeling his body over the soft material of his sweatshirt.

Lifting it slowly, you looked at him for approval and with a kiss on your cheek he sighed and helped you get rid of it.

Gulping down at the sight of his bare torso, you bit down on your lip before throwing the hoodie somewhere and kiss his skin. From his neck to his shoulder, making sure to not leave marks on him. Just to not get him in trouble.

Slowly getting up from his lap, you leaned in to kiss behind his ear before going down on your knees, his prominent bulge facing your eyes.

"Can I suck you off?" You whispered softly as you ran your hands up his legs and along his thighs, reaching for the waistband of his shorts.

"Want me?" He breathed as he took your hands and curved your fingers around the waistband, pulling it down.

Eyes locked on his, you got rid of everything he was wearing.

His hand trailed along your arm, reaching your head he massaged your scalp and smiled. "All yours."

Licking your lips you moved your hands on his thighs as you kissed the soft skin of his inner thigh before slowly moving in the middle.

Letting out a soft chuckle you looked up to him. "First the chest and now the dick... I've definitely lived this moment before..." You mumbled before taking his erection in your hand.

Slowly stroking him you kissed the leaking head, licking slowly and tasting his precum. The pineapple definitely worked on him.

Looking up into his eyes you started taking his cock in your mouth, stuffing yourself full of him, slowly moving your head as you sucked him deliciously.

"Pretty, if you keep it like this I might explode in your mouth..." He huffed as he jerked his hips against your head.

"Hmm." Stuffed with him you gently took his balls and massaged them as you deepthroated him.

"Shit, baby girl..." He moaned as he took a hold of your hair in his hand, pushing himself further.

Jerking his hips he slipped his hardness inside your mouth, your tongue wetting his length as he slid in and out until he reached his high. Pulling out of your face, spurts of cum hit your flushed face.

"Oh Gosh." He breathed looking at you, leaning in to steal a kiss. "Should have known by the way you wrote that page." He chuckled standing up. "You want me desperately to the point that everything you've imagined so far has trained you to be my good girl."

Taking your hands he made you stand up. Removing your shirt, he unclasped the bra effortlessly before burying his face between your breasts. "Where's your room?" He asked patting your ass as if to make you jump in his arms.

"On the right." You huffed, the feeling of his lips kissing your soft skin made you shiver.

Humming in response, he walked following your instructions. Door opened and the bed welcoming the both of you, wishing you a beautiful and sinful night of pure bliss.

Falling onto the mattress he hovered over you, his chest heaving as he kissed your exposed skin over and over, biting and leaving marks on your skin.

Fingers buried in his hair you gently tugged at his hair making his erection twitch against your leg.

"You guessed it right." He whispered as he removed your shorts slowly, tossing them away. "I do have a kink for my girl pleading and begging to have me."

"Lord have mercy..." You whined as he kissed the sensitive skin of your inner thigh before burying his face on your cunt.

Tongue dipped in your slick hole, licking stripes of your wetness making him grunt in approval. "Taste so good... hmm..."

Rolling your eyes, your back arched and he took the chance to put the small pillow under the curve of your back before focusing back on his task. Eating you.

He ate you as if he starved all his life, he starved as if he has been waiting for you all these years.

Lips brushing between your outer lips, making out shamelessly with your cunt, muffling incoherent sweet praises as he sucked on your clit while one of his hands cupped your tit, playing with both nipples. The other kept your folds open as he kissed you and licked you sloppily.

Head over heels, head in the clouds you came unannounced, coating his mouth and chin with your slickness.

"Chris... please I need you..." You pleaded tugging at his hair gently.

"I'm here." He whispered while kissing up your body, reaching for your lips.

With a hand he caressed your body, your breasts, your stomach, your hip, your thigh, your leg. His lips remained on yours as he moved between your legs.

His hand reaching for your folds, sinking two of his fingers in with ease. "Is it the slickness or are you completely comfortable with me?" He asked kissing your cheek.

"Both." You smiled as he kissed your forehead.

"With no protection though..." He mumbled looking around your room.

"I haven't had sex in years." You mumbled looking away. "And I've been going to the gynaecologist every month." Your hands moved on his back. "I'm clean and I trust you in cumming outside."

"Next time I'll make sure to get condoms..." He mumbled widening your legs more before diving in.

A gasp escaped both your lips as he pushed deeper inside you. His twitching erection finally inside your long waiting cunt, welcoming him like a velvet glove.

"You're such a beauty." He smiled kissing your face as his hips jerked in and out, his cock dipping in and out of you with squelching noises.

"You're the most handsome guy I've ever met." You smiled as you played with his hair.

"I'm not even that hand-" He started speaking but you cut him off with a kiss.

"Shut it. Never say that ever again." You mumbled indulging into a slow kiss which he gladly accepted.

It didn't take long for him to lose all his restraint and start being vocal about how good you felt, how good he wanted to fuck you, how beautiful and sexy you were.

He was so lost in you to the point that after cumming and making a heart shaped puddle on your stomach, he let you suck him off a few times before diving back inside of your wet core.

Lying on the side, he pulled up your leg and thrusted inside of you slowly yet deeply. The rhythm being in good harmony with your moany breathings.

Hickeys resting on your skin as you fought against the need of marking him yours.

"Is it too late to admit something?" He asked as he pressed himself deeper before moving once again.

Looking behind at him, a slight fear came over you.

"I don't have a girlfriend and I am genuinely loving this." He huffed. "And that's for the record." He poked your hip.

"You made me almost have a heart attack." You whined placing a hand over your chest.

Sneaking his hand up from your clit, he rested his hand on yours. "I did stare at you when I was doing the solo stage."

Biting your neck softly before nibbling on your earlobe, he smiled. "You were the only one who was actually looking at me and not filming me."

"Because I needed to experience that strip tease and needed full focus." You joked as you swayed your hips to encounter his thrusts.

"I'm pretty sure you also mouthed me a 'fuck me, please'." He teased as he slipped out and got on his knees before cumming on your chest.

"With all those lights, you saw that?" You questioned in disbelief as he brought his fingers in his mouth before inserting them in your core.

Finger-fucking you, he looked down at you and smirked. "Also you're really easy to read."

Furrowing your brows, he hit that sweet spot making your legs tremble and fall loose as you came all over his hand.

"Especially if you keep on looking at me as if you'd give me all of you." He chuckled leaning in to plant a kiss on your lips. "I'll get something to clean you."

Sucking on his fingers he smiled to himself before standing up and going for the bathroom. Not long after he came with a water bottle and a wash cloth.

After cleaning your body, he gave you some water before wrapping his arms around your body.

Exhaustion finally kicking in as he melt in your embrace.

"Remember to give me your number before I go tomorrow." He whispered kissing your forehead.

His fingers massaging your scalp as he kissed your face. Smiling you nodded before kissing him over and over.

"Raw feels good though..." You pouted making him look at you dumbfounded and then chuckling.

"Bet you have some breeding kink." He giggled hugging you tightly.

"I have a severe Bang Chan breeding me kink." You admitted which made him burst out in laughter.

"Guess I'll need to fuck some sense into you." He mumbled shaking his head.

Kissing his chest you just stroke your nose on his soft pec before kissing it and dozing off.

"You adorable thing." He whispered before falling asleep himself.

[braxlrose]

Hi!!! A new fan of tokio hotel here and I was wondering if you could write some dating headcannons for gustav for a gem reader whose also in a band? Much love btw <3

I've been looking through the requests and finding georg and gustav stuff so yall can get some more so here we go!!

dating gustav

cw: mentions of sex, cockwarming, kissing, oral (f and m recieving), etc.

✮ he's the type of guy who holds the side of your waist while walking down the street. not for possessiveness or any of that shit, just because he likes it and it makes you feel safe. He also knows the sidewalk rule. keep that in mind ladies.

✮ even though gustav is a fantastic cook now, he mostly just made stuff from boxes in the 2000s. but yall would always make stuff together.

✮ when you're on your period, he always makes you stuff. especially milkshakes. he's got a signature one, which is just vanilla ice cream, peanut butter and bananas. but it tastes amazing, and gustav always puts so much love into it.

✮ he gives you backrubs, and footrubs, brushes your hair and brings a heating pad for you. im telling you guys, he's literally the perfect bf.

✮ when yall finish a song on stage he comes up behind you and gives you hugs and kisses. and the fans eat. it. up.

✮ but if he's not wearing a shirt and he comes up behind you, he's gets you all sweaty. I just love you so much I can't help it. he says. but let's be fr. he's just a little shit. we still love him though.

✮ he tries to teach you how to play the drums, he sits you on his lap and holds your hands and wrists to show you what to do. and he rests his chin on your shoulder which he ends up breathing in your ear. totally doesn't make you clench your thighs and get wetter and wetter every single. but mans also gets soooo annoyed when you're doing something wrong 😭

✮ cockwarming while teaching you how to play drums is a must. i don't remember who wrote it, but I swear I remember reading it somewhere. @bored0writer edit: THIS IS WHO WROTE IT AND ITS AMAZING OMG

✮ like I had said in my last post, gustav is a soft dom. disagree w/ me all you want, but it's true.

✮ after concert cock sucking is so good. you both love it so much. you have adrenaline running through your veins and it feels so good.

✮ he has the softest lips in the entire world, it's insane. so kissing him is so nice.

✮ he takes you on the cutest dates. whether you two are going out to dinner, to a movie, or just staying at the hotel rooms, they're always amazing.

✮ he's also got super soft hair which is amazing to run your hands through when making out or fucking.

✮ he'll lay between your thighs for hours after teasing and leaving hickies on your thighs.

✮ he likes to hold down your thighs when he's eating you out and fucking you with his tongue because it gives him better control and he likes that. a lot.

✮ whenever you try and rut against his face while he's going down on you, he'll slap your cunt as many times as he wants until you learn your lesson (if you're into that).

✮ and on the other side, he's a big sub too. always moaning and groaning and whining and wriggling underneath you as you pump and suck on his cock. ironic huh. he's so sweet and whiny. and he's totally got a mommy kink. big time mommy kink.

✮ loves it when you ride his thigh. thinks you look so sexy.

✮ if you play the guitar, you'll try and teach him how to play too but he'll end up complaining how his fingers hurt. poor baby :(

✮ you two always share hotel rooms and stay up watching movies together

✮ I STAND BY THIS. he is the best cuddler to exist. he's so soft and squishy, and since he's got some chub on his stomach, he's so nice to cuddle with.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed!! TY for all the requests

tag list:

@burntb4bydoll

@hearts4kaulitz

@saumspam

@spelaelamela

[azrielwingspan]

DISTRACTIONS (AZRIEL X OC)-PART 3

Distractions is a collection of short stories whose main characters are Azriel and Nyra (OC).

It's established that there is some heavy tension between them (everyone suspects lol) and I decided to put into words a few visualizations I've had of the both of them just pining for each other, playing hard to get, flirting, a bit of angst, maybe smut, some fluff and overall just being HELLA CUTE OKAY.

Part 3 of the collections of short stories!! No specific reading order to be followed.

PART 1 / PART 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary : Nyra and Azriel finally meet after a month. What starts off as a pleasant conversation branches out into something more. Warnings: Angst , mild swearing, bit of smut (i think?) .

Enjoy !

Nyra was fed up. Everything, everywhere all at once was going wrong. For the past few days, all she had done was wake up, fix shit and have a fitful sleep.

She came back home to Vallahan a month ago and had been served bad news on a silver platter. The nobles were planning an intervention to add a new clause to the tax benefit laws. This wasn't something new that had to be tackled but it had never been held over the courts head before. If this wasn't handled delicately and shut down definitively, the court would have a civil war on their hands.

"I will say this once and only once." she stared down the Lord of Fendale, her face a carefully crafted mask that betrayed no hint of emotion. "The laws exist for a reason---" she raised a hand as she noticed the Lord open his mouth to interrupt her. "NOT for you to change them as per your personal interests. So if you have any legitimate reason for your proposal my lord, you will present it to the ENTIRE court. I will not be tolerating anymore personal visits."

She motioned towards the door not giving him a chance to speak up. She had had enough of this idiocy for a lifetime. The Lord fortunately took the hint and left the room slamming the door behind him. That fucking cun---.

"Another visitor for you my Lady."

"If I see one more noble parading in here like they own the damn place, I will stab them with my pencil. Let them know beforehand. Would serve as a fair warning don't you think?"

"Fair enough." a dark and smooth voice responded. The scent of night chilled mist and cedar hit her bringing a smile to her face.

"That applies to you as well, Shadowsinger."

"I am not a noble." the sound of boots tapping across the wooden floor came closer , the male now in front of her casting a shadow across the reports she was trying to read.

"You did walk in here like you own the damn place." The words in front of her might as well have been an entirely new language. Her brain refused to acknowledge anything else when he was nearby.

"Was I meant to take an appointment?" a teasing tone laced into his voice.

"Would've been suitable."

"And here I was thinking you would always make time for me. It's not reciprocated I see."

Scarred hands placed onto the table entered her field of vision and she finally looked up meeting his gaze.

After an entire month of restlessness , irritation and exhaustion, something in Nyra finally settled. It felt like walking into an open field, taking in a huge gulp of fresh air and feeling the heaviness leave your body only to be replaced by a pleasant humming sensation.

"Hello, Az."

"Hello, Nyra." a delightful grin graced his face.

The greeting alone seemed to charge the air around them. The memory of him kissing her neck sprung into her head and she pushed it out immediately. Now was not the time.

She had thought of that moment every day since. The feel of his lips brushing against the skin of her throat, the shared breaths, the heat of his skin beneath her fingers. Most of all, she remembered the dismissal at the end of it all. It managed to break her out of her day dreams every single time. It wasn't meant to happen. What was she thinking?

Something on her face must have betrayed her emotions because Azriel's smile dimmed as he watched her. The memory seemed to clutch him in its grasp as well , making him step away from the table. The heaviness slammed back into Nyra with full force.

Well there goes my moment of peace.

Clearing his throat, Azriel pulled something out of the shadows surrounding him. "Rhys asked me to pass this onto you. I managed to find some...information regarding the Lord of Fendale that might be of benefit to you."

"Oh."

Stupid, stupid girl.

Of course he was here on official business. She had duped herself into thinking he was there for her.

When will you learn?

"Right." She read through the report Azriel had written all the while trying to shove her disappointment into a dark recess of her mind.

"This is.....excellent." The information in the report could be used against the Lord and make him rein in the other lords who had fallen out of line.

"Azriel...thankyou. This might solve the problem once and for all."

He bowed his head and gave her a small smile.

"I hoped it would. He's a viper Nyra. Be careful."

"I will."

They settled into awkward silence for a few beats. She hated it. This feeling of walking around eggshells around him, the way they were pretending that nothing ever happened between them. She didn't know how to fix it and she hated herself more for it.

"What is this?" Azriel had moved towards a table littered with official and personal letters. He was clutching one of them in a white knuckled grip, his eyes flying across the page over and over again.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIIIIT.

She knew exactly which one of the dozens of letters he was clutching. She had planned on burning it that morning but clearly had forgotten.

"Az..."

"What. Is. This. Nyra?" he growled, his voice like subdued thunder.

He had gone still. Oh so still, she wondered if he was even breathing.

His eyes were still glued to the letter and she wondered how the page hadn't caught fire from the look he was shooting it.

"It's nothing important. I was supposed to burn it today." she tried to placate him, standing up from her seat and making her way towards him.

"Nothing important?" he turned to look at her and she almost stumbled at the darkness in his eyes. Hot burning anger that raged like a fire, she could deal with. However, Azriel's anger was like cold death. It was honed and sharpened to strike it's opponent when the time came.

She wasn't scared of him.

Never.

She was scared for him.

"Yes nothing." she kept her tone unbothered , tinging it with a hint of annoyance. It wasn't hard really. She was annoyed that he had found it fit to just go through her letters.

"It would be of utmost honor if you were to wed my son---"

"I know what it says, Azriel. I can read." She could feel her anger rising to the surface preparing to clash with his.

"Did you respond?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"What did---"

"It's official court business."

He scoffed.

He fucking scoffed.

It was enough for her anger take over and make her see red.

"Put the letter down Azriel. You have no right to read those. Oh and next time make a damn appointment. I don't have time to deal with your fucking tantrums."

"Tantrums? You think me reacting to a marriage proposal is a ...tantrum?" his voice had gotten deadly quiet.

"Yes." she hissed through her clenched teeth. "What I do or don't do with my personal life is none of your concern. If I want to marry a Lord's son, I damn well will and YOU are not obligated to know about it."

"Say that again, Nyra. Say that again but be truthful to yourself this time." the intensity with which he was looking at her hadn't subdued. If anything it seemed like he was taunting her.

She stepped closer to him, reaching out a hand and grabbing the letter out of his.

"I..." she started tearing the letter into pieces.

"do not..." she crumpled the pieces in her hands, a few of them fluttering to the ground.

"answer to you." she tossed the remaining pieces onto the table, her hands shaking from the adrenaline rushing through her.

"No. No you don't." he stepped closer to her , towering over her as their gazes clashed. Cold death and a simmering volcano.

"But I do know one thing with absolute certainty. You know what it is?"

She kept silent and refused to look away.

He took another step and let his scent envelop her completely. His shadows were dancing around them, seemingly out of control. They had carved out a dark secluded spot in the bright confines of her office, trapping the both of them in a whirlwind of their emotions.

"You can do whatever or whoever you want Nyra. At the end of the day, it'll always be you and me. Remember that."

Her breath was knocked out of her, the anger being flushed out of her body in an instant. A whole new set of emotions that she had carefully locked away poured into her, leaving her dizzy.

She didn't know who moved first. It didn't matter. Because the next thing she knew, they were a clash of lips and tongue , desperate to get closer and feel everything.

She ran her hands up his shoulders and reveled in the feel of it. How she imagined doing this over and over again every single night. His hands were cupping her face , angling it towards him as he kissed her like it was the first and last time.

He turned them around and placed her on the table, all the while kissing her. Her dress had bunched up to her thighs and Azriel ran his hands over her body as if trying to memorize the feel of every inch.

She ran her hands through his hair, the burn in her core flaring with every second that passed.

"Az." she let out a whimper as he trailed a line of kisses down her neck and chest. Tugging at the collar of his shirt, she brought his lips back to hers, wrapping her legs around his hips to bring him closer.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this." he whispered hoarsely against her lips, taking her lower lip in between his teeth and biting down gently.

A new wave of lust shot through her and Azriel's gaze turned ravenous as he noticed her reddened cheeks and glazed eyes.

"I refused." she said ghosting his lips as she craned her neck to place a soft kiss on his pulse. "There is no one else I would say yes to, Az." she clutched his shirt tighter pressing herself against him. Her breasts brushed over his chest, her nipples turning to peaks. She did it again, chasing the feeling.

He let out a groan that made her clench her thighs around his hips.

"You don't know what you do to me , Nyra."

She bit down on his neck, making him hiss and lace his fingers through her hair.

"The things I want to do to you ...fuck. Not here though. I want to take my time." his breathy voice was doing things to her brain that she could not comprehend. She didn't want to. She wanted to be at the mercy of the moment.

His hand brushed the underside of her breast and she let out an embarrassingly loud moan that had him pulling her head back and latching onto her lips.

As suddenly as it started, it ended.

Azriel pulled back abruptly, blocking her from view as he turned to face the door.

"Lady Ny..." her attendee walked in , stopping dead in her tracks when she noticed Azriel. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know you had company." Her face turned tomato red.

Nyra cleared her throat and spoke as though she hadn't been close to being bent over the table. "Anything urgent?"

"Uh..y-yes my Lady. The nobles have called an emergency council meeting."

Azriel exhaled through his nose in exasperation. Nyra wanted to kill someone.

"Wonderful. I'll be there soon. Thankyou, Elle."

She would be needing that pencil after all.

[ethanesimp]

Tangled Hearts

Pairing: FWB! Ethan Torchio x Photographer! Fem Reader

Summary: As much as you want to deny it, you want to be more than friends with benefits with Ethan.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Kinda smutty but no actual smut, Ethan is a lil bit of an asshole in this, at least I think he is. There's also a lot of swearing, bc there is, and mentions of conflicts with parents.

Masterlists & Taglist

A/N: So uh... it's been a long while since I last wrote on here. Idk if people still read these but here you go! I missed writing dearly. It's also me just messing around, trying to get back into the writing habit again. Might add a part two if you guys like it cuz I've got some ideas. This is also inspired by a request I got a while ago, however it's like the events that happened before the request, if that makes sense.

═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══

A month left of the contract. That’s the very thought that has left a deep-seated sense of anxiety in your brain the more you let yourself think about it. For the past eleven months, you have been living the dream of traveling around the world with Måneskin and being their photographer. It was a job you would have never imagined having but one you are glad to have found.

It had been as much of a jump of faith for them to hire you with such little professional experience under your belt as it had been for you to accept the job. You left behind everything you knew for the opportunity to finally make a significant jump in your career that would make a difference in your future whether or not they renewed the contract for another year.

Then love made its way into the picture to mess everything up. Nothing could have prepared you for what you experienced during that first photoshoot alone with Ethan, the band’s drummer. The intimacy of the moment and the deep conversation shared as you set up your equipment was one that wouldn’t be forgotten easily, especially not when you got so close that it eventually led to the best night you had ever had while in Texas the night before a show.

Once the initial shock of what had happened wore off, you made a mutual agreement to keep it casual, despite the knowledge that whatever existed between you was anything but that. It worked nonetheless, for a long time, so you didn’t even bother questioning just how ephemeral it would be.

Your schedule, as well as the band’s, was full to the brim, leaving little to no time to think about your feelings with all the exciting things that had been going on around you. Until everything stopped and there were no shows or collabs to photographs.

Every single emotion pushed to the back of your mind has resurfaced as you sit alone in your bed for the first time in a while. It is the first night in a long time that you will be able to sleep in your bed instead of at a hotel or inside a cramped bunk on a bus. The whole thing takes you back to reality and helps you sober up from all the adrenaline quicker than you would have liked.

After such a long time away from your family, being back in your childhood room feels unreal. So does hearing your parents talk downstairs while you try to busy yourself editing pictured you’d taken at the last show. You want to take your mind off of all you have left behind and everything you would lose once your contract expired, which doesn’t happen as you look at the picture open in Photoshop. It is one of Vic spraying Damiano with the champagne she had opened to celebrate the end of the tour.

You smile to yourself as a bittersweet feelking makes its way into your heart. You know the band rarely keeps the same photographer around for more than a year and it has felt unfair to ask Ethan if you would be any different, if maybe they had grown to like you enough to keep you around for a little longer. So you just assume and accept that you will suffer the same fate as all the others before you.

The thought saddens you as you look up from your laptop and take a look around your room for the first time since you had arrived. On one of the walls hangs a picture of a college friend of yours you had taken for a photographic essay during your second semester. Close to it, you had placed one of your mother, which makes your heart ache as you look at it, knowing you would never be as close to her as you were when you took that picture.

Your parents have never been content with the idea of you being a photographer, especially not when both of them are engineers and have always envisioned a similar future for you. However, when you decided to go to college, they had been over the moon about it, despite you studying a photography-related degreee.

Sadly, all that happiness came crashing down when, during your fifth semester of college, none other than their manager reached out to you after finding your photography blog. He had gone on and on about how they needed a young and creative photographer in order to capture the band’s flare after their fame sky-rocketted.

You obviously accepted the job and put a pause on college for some time. Your parents had been against your decision and had stopped speaking to you for the first two months or so of you leaving. They eventually came around but things aren’t quite the same anymore. That is why you have found shelter in your room to avoid them and their hurtful comments they think they’re being more casual about.

You hate the situation you’re in much more than you’d like to admit, but what you hate above all else is feeling like an intruder in your own home when it used to be your safe place. You feel hot tears slide down your cheeks as you keep looking at that picture of your mother, asking yourself if the job is worth all this.

You haven’t even found an answer to the question when your phone buzzes. You pick it up from the bed and open the message, which happens to be from Ethan.

You hesitate while typing your next message. You want to tell him you miss him, but you fear it makes your feelings for him far too obvious. You’ve always wanted to be more than just his friend with benefits, but your fear ir far stronger than your desires. Still, without giving it more thought, you type out the two word message and send it through. Any worries fade away as you read his response.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

You shift your balance from your heels to your toes as you wait for Ethan to open the door. After you replied to his text, you didn’t waste a second to drive over to his house, completely ignoring your parents’ complaints.

When he opens the door, you feel a wave of relief wash over you at the sight of him. His dark eyes and easy smile do their usual trick and help you forget about everything else. Then, you feel your breath hitch when your eyes scan over his clothes.

Ethan is dressed in a loose-fitting white button-up shirt with the first few buttons undone, giving you a small glimpse of his toned chest. He pairs it with tight black slacks and polished black shoes. He looks absolutely stunning... as always, you think.

You meet his eyes after a few seconds of gawking at him and soon realize how absolutely fucked you are when you see his long hair is nicely gathered in a bun that sits at the nape of his neck, just how you like it.

That absolute fucker. You absolutely despise how attractive he looks, especially when your thoughts go straight to a few nights ago. You remember your hands tangled in his hair, completely ruining his bun. You remember pulling at it while his head was in between your legs, then while you were having sex. And now all you want to do is hide as you feel your cheeks heat up at the memories.

He lets out a hearty laugh, succesfully snapping you out of your little daydream.

“You’re staring.” Ethan says teasingly.

You roll your eyes at him, “You wish.”

He shakes his head and steps aside to let you in, “It’s nice to see you too, by the way.”

You let out a soft laugh, “We literally just saw each other yesterday.”

"Says the one who told me she missed me. Besides, it's always lovely to see you." He says, in such a relaxed and casual manner, as if it doesn't evoke any emotions within him, while it stirs up everything inside of you.

His place is small and tidy. There are books and plants here and there, scattered in random places all around the kitchen and living room, accompanied by the faint smell of vanilla coming from a lit candle.

Ethan catches you off-guard by wrapping his arms around you in a hug after closing the door behind you. Driven by instinct, your arms wrap themselves around him as you let your face rest on his shoulder for a few seconds.

You pull away enough to look him in the eye. He looks back at you with nothing but warmth in his eyes. Then he plants a gentle kiss on your lips that makes it so much harder for you to believe he has nothing but sexual feelings towards you. How could he kiss you with such gentleness if that were the case?

“I wanted to get out of there so fucking bad.” You mumble as an attempt to quiet down your thoughts.

Ethan gives you a knowing look. He’s the only person who knows everything you have sacrificed to follow your dream. He always tries to reassure you that you had made the right decision, but believing him never gets any easier. Especially not when the price you had to pay was so high.

“You’re always welcome here, dolcezza. Offer still stands if you want to stay until we’re back on the road.” He expresses. When Ethan had first brought the idea up, you had been so shocked to say anything. It’s still hard for you to understand how he is so casual about asking you to move in, yet turning into something other than fuck buddies is too much for him.

Rather than focusing much on your thoughts, you focus on observing him unscrew the cork on a bottle of wine that had previously been sitting inside the fridge.

“Being back here is so strange,” You say as he pours wine into a glass for you, “I didn’t spend a lot of time at home while I was at college either, so it kinda made me think I wouldn’t feel much different than how I did then...”

The words slowly die down in your throat, and your attention drifts away to the bright light over the kitchen counter.

“Hey, hey,” Ethan says gently as an attempt to get your attention. He leans forward to cup your cheeks, “All this you’re going through isn’t easy. I get it’s probably much more overwhelming when all this negativity is coming from your parents of all people.”

You place a hand over his and close the distance left between his lips and yours. The kiss is a comforting sign of understanding between you both, a silent way of saying that everything will be alright.

You tangle your hands in his hair to bring him closer to you, to feel more of his lips on yours. He smiles softly at your actions and reacts by brushing his tongue over your bottom lip, which you reciprocate almost right away.

This moment between the two of you feels like none you’d had before. You have grown familiar with messy quickies squeezed into every free space that could be found in your busy schedules. Unlike then, there is no recording session, interview, or show to stop you from taking your sweet time together.

Knowing he can, Ethan enjoys every kiss and touch with you, extending them as much as his body allows him to. He lets his hands slowly wander under your shirt as you break the kiss to catch a breath. His hands warm up your skin as they make their way up your waist and he lets out a soft chuckle upon noticing you were wearing nothing underneath your blue sweater.

“Something tells me you don’t just want to watch the movie.” He laughs as his lips trail down to your neck.

You laugh too, “I actually do, but this is pretty great too.”

He pulls away from you completely despite your protests and starts walking towards his room. You follow him with an eager smile on your face, happy to let him fuck away your worries.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ .  ﾟ☆º:. ───

You’re still wrapped in a curtain of bliss after the intimate moment you’ve had. Between his soft pecks and warm hands you slowly let go of any sort of worries that had still been clinging to your body and mind. Instead, you let all of your attention fall on the words that easily fall from his lips like calm rivers.

“You’re beautiful, sweetheart.” He murmurs through parted lips before they keep on sucking on your exposed neck. You do nothing but hum in response, basking in the pleasure his attention brings along.

He can’t keep his hands and lips off you. You’re already so overstimulated that you cannot even think straight anymore as he draws shapes on your back. So it happens, in only a few seconds and with a phrase that anyone but Ethan would’ve been happy to hear, you lose it all. While he places kisses along your collarbones and gently massages your breast while his free hand holds yours, you mumble out words you won’t be able to take back, ever…

“I love you.”

At first, his dark eyes look into yours with surprise and a slight touch of happiness, words still processing in the very back of his mind. Then, any trace of gentleness and adoration that had been previously present, vanishes. You lose the warmth of his hands against your naked body when he stands up and puts a distance between you that feels infinite.

You see his face harden as he leans down to pick up his shirt from the floor, your heart falling to your stomach as you watch him get dressed. He avoids your eyes, which you suspect is much more painful than if he were looking at you.

That moment of silence seems to stretch out into what feels like an eternity. You don’t know what to say, and by the looks of it, your words have also rendered him speechless.

You feel the need to get up and try to reach out to him. To try and make up an excuse that explains why you said it, but your body doesn’t move. You just wait impatiently for him to speak first.

“Please get out.” Ethan says coldly, your heart shattering as you search for any trace of that warmth that used to be in his eyes just seconds ago. But his expression remains neutral and void of emotion. An  expression you have never seen before.

“Ethan, please,” Your eyes start getting watery as you plead. Your body finally responds and allows you to stand up and walk closer to him as you put your sweater back on. “Please, I’m sorry.”

There’s a part of you that feels pathetic at the sound of your wavering voice as you ask for forgiveness. An unmistakable desperation in your tone that you wish would disappear and a sharp pain in your heart that you want to ignore.

“I said get out.” You watch as his expression shifts into what you mistake as anger, but it’s nothing more than pure heartbreak.

“Please don’t, let’s talk about this. You can’t just kick me out before we do.” He’s still looking away from you, which makes you feel like your words are being dismissed by him.

“I can, and I will.” Ethan says firmly as he buttons his slacks.

“Come on, did our relationship mean nothing to you?” You say those words as a last attempt to bring him back to his senses. At first, you think it works because he’s finally looking back at you, but what he says next makes it clear that’s not the case.

“We are not in a relationship, we never were.”

“Fine, fuck this shit! I’m tired of just being someone you fuck whenever you’re bored anyway.” You see his whole expression soften at your harsh words. Ethan tries to reach out but you notice he debates on it before letting his hand fall back to his side.

Everything went to shit so quickly with those three little words. The friendship you have been building up for years has just been ruined in less than ten minutes and you have no idea what the fuck you’re supposed to do next.

“You know that’s not what this is! You’re so much more than that, you’re my best friend!” His voice is much gentler than it was, but you don’t notice it because of the anger that’s building up at his words.

“Well, you have a shitty way of showing it. Best friends don’t do whatever the fuck we do!” You turn your back to him and start collecting the rest of your clothes and car keys.

You feel his hand on your shoulder as you dress up, but you shrug it away, “Don’t. I’m listening to you and getting out of here.”

A part of you hopes he’ll go after you, but this is no romcom, so he doesn’t do anything to stop you and lets you leave.

[fullmetalgirl98]

30 days Hypnosis Mic challenge

DAY 9: favorite duet song

🎤 「Murder at the House of Magic (奇術館の殺人 / Kijutsu-kan no Satsujin) 」 - Gentaro & Dice (2nd duet)

(link)

Just to make it immediately clear: my obsession level is high (yes, this post is going to be super long, and yes, I apologize in advance for that). I'm not exaggerating when I say that I know every single word of this song by heart. I even made a fanart for this song. Check it out, if you're curious 👉 (link)

I became aware of the existence of this duet far too late, in April 2022, i think??, and in the saddest way possible: through the wiki while searching for only God knows now what kind of other stuff. Of course, considering that Dice and Gentaro are two of my fave characters ever, it was a scandal for me not to have known earlier about the existence of a new duet of theirs, other than Once upon a time in Shibuya, which is iconic in itself, so I went crazy, obviously, and dashed off in search of the song (with very little success, I have to say)... and when I finally found it and it started playing, I almost had a heart attack. What. the actual. hell. was. that.

I expected everything, except something of that sort.

Right from the very first notes, I knew this was gonna be BIG stuff. I mean, VERY BIG.

The vibe it gave me, initially, was something alien, the instrumental intro smelled a lot like the X-files theme song to me (link).

Then Gentaro started, in his usual calm and sexy tone, and I caught the word "satsujin jiken". But so far, let's say, nothing exceptionally new. I knew I should expect some mystery to solve... I mean, the title spoke loud ¯\(ツ)/¯

But poor little naive Anna, soon after the bomb was dropped straight to the center of an indefinite part of my brain.

A serious Dice.

A bloody serious Dice. A Dice that, instead of rapping, was literally speaking (or at least, the initial impression was seriously that). I...I've never heard Dice speaking in such a hard, deadly serious yet sexy, defiant, cocky and confident tone, like... I- ... I didn't even think he could ever speak in such a way!? Like. Dice. HELLO?! Where is my genuine idiotic cute drenched cat gone?! I'm scared?? But at the same time extremely intrigued?? WTF?! Help??!! Let's make one thing clear: when I first heard the song, I obviously had not read the translation yet. So, how shall I explain what I thought ... mhm... the impression was that he was speaking not in a good-guy-trying-to-be-cool sense, absolutely not. His tone was blatantly the tone of a thug. And a particularly dangerous one. The impact of the very first verse of his, "Danna shindanda na, zannen da" was something absurd. I swear. Something of disarming power. And then the tone used in the "tamannee na" immediately afterwards. Guys, I swear to you. I had completely lost my mind. I was totally in love with this new Dice, you have no idea. I was going crazy, I just wanted to know WHY he was talking in that absolutely crazy HOT way. I LOVE how it's clearly perceivable that Dice is speaking with a smirk on his face, that of someone who is sure that he cannot be set up. And I could go on listing word by word all the vocal proclivities that have slowly sent me further and further into the hyperuranium BUT I will refrain from doing so for your sake, because this post would probably become longer than it already is going to be. And then the refrain. Simply BRILLIANT. I mean, it's already not enough that this too, like Stella, is a song set up as a story told by Gentaro, in which he then becomes one of the characters in the plot (you can't tell I have logic behind my preferences, can you?), but a semi-occult code was also inserted?????? Who the hell came up with the idea of putting the spelling of Dice and Gentaro's names at the beginning of each verse of the chorus? WHO? Give a fucking award to the composer, I beg you: (A)Up & down, Rikou na yatsu wo, Sukkari damashite Ganchuu nai Wakattenda Dare na no ka Izure wa Subete wo raizarai;

Yurusan, Meshi toraeru, Nogasanai shi Genkei nai Takara, Rou sezu shite, Umaku moratte Say Good Bye I don't know if i'm making the point clear enough, here.

And then the whole Uh!(Ah!)Uh!Uh!(Ah!) thing. Gentaro firing off his "Ichi wa ichi, zero wa zero, hachi wa hachi" with that studied air of his who knows he has the other guy completely on the hook. And the way you can perfectly sense that the mood of the conversation is starting to turn against Dice, when he throws out that "Nani?!" and then that "Kuso!" so particularly intense (KYAAAAAHHH (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)).

OH, and I can't help but mention how the "Hachiji nijuppun" thing practically became a meme between me and @justanotherniky (fixed message in chat at 8:20 p.m.: "HACHIJI NIJUPPUN" when we don't happen to forget about it).

I swear guys, you have no idea how much I lost my mind behind this duet. Because c'mon, I don't know if you guys are realizing, but it's fucking genius. And, last but not least, how not to mention the classic "Uso desu kedo ne~" at the close. Epic.

[whochromatic]

I must not read chapter 109 and wait for the chapters to pile up.. I must not read chapter 109 and wait for the chapters to pile up.. I must...

*reads it anyways*

Why did I do that. Damnit, I should've known that reading that chapter would have re-activated my need for more. I was way better off ignoring anything related to Yohaji and just went about my day, not thinking about Yohaji every minute of the hour of the day of the week. But the damage has been done. Now I have to read the whole manga all over again just to satisfy myself once again. But no. That's not enough. I searched every corner to hunt every single content of Yohaji. Tumblr. Twitter. Youtube. Tiktok. Ao3. Our lord and savior Canada's account. The giver of reason in life, one who resurrects the dead, the sailor uniform to my life, Tanamai-sensei's account. I know that the Yohaji content in this world is not enough and will NEVER be. The moment I discovered this manga, I knew that it would be my life. The fact that it had only reached me last year, ber month is unforgivable. Why did it not have content as many as the amount of numbers there are to exist so that it could reach me at the start of it's existence? It should have been Yohaji. Not BNHA! Nothing against that anime by the way. Well, I am grateful that I stumbled upon Yohaji while it had 100+ chapters though. And the fandom being small enough to only have nice and cool people in it. But those fics in ao3 though? Why- I mean, I don't really care or pay attention to them but the fact that the amount of nsfw fanfics is probably (I'm saying probably because they might just be more) equal to the amount of sfw fanfics in there is- I swear, WHY ARE THERE SO LITTLE FANFICS OF YOHAJI?! 3 PAGES?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? There might be more in other places but I only read in ao3 and Tumblr if I find some there. I'm so thankful for the translators though!!! I love y'all. I love the fandom. I love the characters. I love Yohaji. I love the creator. God- sorry I forgot I can't use sensei's name in vain. I'm telling y'all, Tanamai is the GOAT. A GENIUS!! Your brain is beautiful. What goes on in head yours? Tell and everyone might gain more braincells. What's with you? What's with your humor?? What's with your lore?! WHAT'S WITH YOUR ART??? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!?! SENSEI WHEN I CATCH YOU OHH WHEN I CATCH YOU. But of course, it's not your fault that I'm starving for more Yohaji chapters. One month is nothing to me- IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CREATE THIS WONDERFUL AND HEAVENLY HOOK THAT CAUGHT ME EVEN ONLY WITH IT'S TITLE AND ART?? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MEEEE?!?! Senseiiiiii*sob* waaaaaahh... Still, I'm sooo happy this is getting an anime this year!! I've been waiting for this ever since I found out it existed along with other Yohaji fans. I knew it would happen soon enough because it's the law. It's a crime to not make an adaption of amazing yet weird yet amazing manga like no other. Death row. DEATH ROW!! It's fine even if it's low quality. As long as it exists, I can finally pass on peacefully- when it airs it better be as good as the manga and look immaculate, I'm telling you. Haha, just kidding. Or am I..? I cannot wait until April or whatever how long it takes for the anime to air just please. Please even the trailer only. But I'm sure everyone is already working hard to make the anime for it. Do your best!! You're doing the right thing! And.... uhm.. 24 episodes... please..? AHHH HARUAKI'S SMILEEE!!! IT'S INVADING MY MIND!! GET OUT! PLEASE GET OUT!!! THIS LOWLY UNGRATEFUL UNDESERVING WORSE THAN DUST BUZZ BUZZ KILLABLE STUPID MORTAL ABOMINATION CAN'T HANDLE OR DESERVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I can't do this. More. More. More Yohaji. I NEED IT. IF AIR AND SAILOR UNIFORM IS LIFE THEN SO IS YOHAJI!! RAAAAAAAHHH

Also I accidentally deleted a longer version of this and rewrote it with my memory. Thanks for wasting your time on this like I did.

[decks-writing-blog]

Here to Stay Drabbles: Benrey Benry Benrye

Summary: Benrey makes some important decisions.

[A/N] In a not yet released chapter of my current WIP fic 'Gordon Swap' my headcanon that Benrey stole Barney's uniform at some point in the past gets brought up and if I recall correctly I alluded to that being the case near the end of WeverTF Benrey is too because it's an idea I've had a for a while. Writing the bit where it's brought up in 'Gordon Swap' made me want to write this so I did.

~

Everyone paid attention to the security guards. When sensitive experiments were being worked on they blocked the entrance to the labs in question, necessitating people talk to them to be let through. The perfect set up for some fun shenanigans. It wouldn’t work if not one of them though which meant a uniform was needed.

The locker and thus the name tag on the uniform inside read ‘Barney’. A good name… maybe. What made something a good name? That one brought to mind barns so maybe whoever it was owned a barn. Assuming barns existed outside of fantasy video games anyway. Regardless the name was taken and thus that one wouldn’t do no matter how good or bad it was.

Something that started with a ‘B’ would be fine though. B was a pretty cool letter as far as letters went. … A long while of just sitting in the locker room, staring at the name tag so far hadn’t brought much inspiration. Naming oneself was hard. In video games ‘aaaaaaaa’ or some kind of swear word, making the NPC’s look silly and/or rude, worked great. In real life though, in a new human looking form, it had to be something believable. Changing it later was technically possible but what if this security guard thing really took off? A bunch of different names might get confusing and wouldn’t feel right anyway. Any name chosen here would likely stick for a while.

Sticking with being called ‘X’ was possible but it didn’t feel like a name. That was the experiment’s title and the titles of other experiments almost never lined up with any of the proper names for the beings/objects involved and thus it shouldn’t here either. Besides, some distance from that lab would be nice, easier to prank people further away from it as they’d be far less likely to suspect anything fishy.

“Barney. Barbara. Benjamin.” What other ‘B’ names were there? Preferably ones that would be easy to scribble onto the the name tag with the sharpie. “Bob. Boob.” That one wasn’t a name. But it didn’t have to be a real, name did it? Just close enough to one to sound believable. It was hard to know what counted as a real name anyway.

“Barnley. Barley. Benley.” That one had kind of a nice ring to it but wasn’t quite right. “Beney. Ben… ray, like a ray of sunshine? Benray. Hmm… nah, too pretty.” Not that there was anything wrong with being named after a ray of sunshine, the sun was quite nice actually, but pretty wasn’t cool and it had to be something cool. This still felt like a good line of thinking though. So instead of ‘a’ like a pretty ray of sunlight how about the ‘e’ from the original name stay? Meaning it would be… “Benrey.”

“Benrey. Benrey. Benrey. Benrey. Benrey.” Ha. It’d be funny if that was the full name. Maybe some of them could be spelled a little differently too like ‘Benry’ or ‘Benrye’.

Standing and looking around revealed no one to talk to. Which made sense, humans like to sleep every single night for some reason and thus few were ever around during the night. Pretending to talk to someone would have to do.

“My name’s Benrey, nice to meet’cha. Howdy, hello, I’m Benrey. I need to see your uh… papers or something ‘cause I’m totally a security guard so I gotta see that stuff to let you through. … Hello, I’m uh… security guard, Benrey, gotta show me your papers now, ‘kay?” The delivery on some of that wasn’t great. Did security guards even introduce themselves by name? And probably instead of the nebulous ‘papers’, asking for a specific document that he could change up at will would be better. But the name felt pretty good.

The sharpie cap came off with a small pop. Pressing the uniform against the locker made it easier to scribble on the name tag. Turn the ‘ar’ into a big ‘e’ then add a little ‘r’ in front of and slightly over the ‘e’ after the ‘n’ so it wasn’t clear if it was being covered up or replaced, opening the door for it be read as ‘Benrey’ or ‘Benry’. Perfect.

New human looking form and new human sounding name, yay. There was one thing missing though. None of the humans around the lab or in any video games or TV shows were referred to as ‘it’. Why was a mystery because almost everything else – plants, bugs, animals, and video game monsters alike – went by ‘it’ at least some of the time. But if humans went by ‘he’, ‘she’ or in one instance ‘they’, then to blend in more with them being addressed as such was necessary, right? Not that blending in all the way was the goal. Standing out too much too soon would make the bit harder though.

What was the difference between ‘it’s, ‘he’s, ‘she’s and ‘they’s though? Paying more attention to that kind of stuff would’ve helped out here. Was it even something that could be gleaned from looking at a person though? Maybe it was a choice people made and told everyone else and Benrey had just never overheard such a conversation. Asking was an option as was sneaking onto a computer to look it up but… did it really matter? Of everything else, this felt far less important. So… he would be a ‘he’ because as far as he knew all the security guards he knew were ‘he’s so he would be one too.

His name was ‘Benrey’, he was a ‘he’, and he was a security guard. He wasn’t human but he would fit in with them a bit more now, enough to hopefully have some fun.

[damnfandomproblems]

5168

That One Anon: Get the fuck out of fandom then if you are That against "theft". Your blorbos aren't yours, then, they belong to the original creators. Go pick up a pen and write your own characters, thief. Never make a creative aspect without citing every single possible subconscious influence you took for it. That head tilt you drew? The concept of a sad backstory? Proper credit only, you thief.

Oh, what's that? You don't count?

I read books daily. I write and draw from pure imagination, and study artists on youtube to get better at drawing.

I also think AI is a tool that can be used for good or ill, and it's how people use it that matters. Much like how a keyboard doesn't stop a human from sending anon hate.

I'd commission artists if I could! I've done so in the past. But guess what, I don't feel safe asking for commissions now on the off chance a artist realizes I think AI is a tool like any other and harasses me when I never would have brought it up. Despite the fact many artists both fandom and original have tons of influences both credited and not. I've seen human artists and writers get accused of AI for STYLISTIC CHOICES that anyone with half a thought should be able to tell was artist intent and inline with previous works.

I can count on one hand the amount of collage art/blackout poetry/drawn over photographs I've seen in public museums that were properly credited beyond the editor. I can't count the amount of media I've seen that nudges at other pre-existing works that was either hyped up for it or was said to justify that aspect.

Ko-fi tipping, Patron subscriptions, sales of generically labled charms and prints and fanart to get around what's Actually being sold. Art style memes, art referenced from canonical works as intentional homage uncredited. Uncredited style inspiration. The entire existence of unsourced, constantly remixed memes.

You gonna claim that's all fine, but anons should expect to be accused of being "techbros" and linked to foreign words meaning "masturbating and crying" for just asking what an artstyle from a artist is called? That it's actually FINE to drive off people wanting to be creative no matter the medium because that particular one 'isn't art' and so no one can want to be a artist and use it?

I swear I've gone back to the 2010s and 'is digital art REAL art though? the computer draws the line for you? You aren't a REAL artist, you just use photoshop to edit things.'

"That's still done by a human person though-"

Hypocrite. Get the fuck out of fandom.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[povbeth]

six roses | percabeth (0)

series masterlist

chapter summary: it's been two years since percy left town (read: annabeth), and neither of them can stop thinking about each other.

wc: 2.8K

warnings: it's just a lot of emotional constipation and regret and sadness and- [car crashes into me]

a/n: hellooooo :p honestly don't know what i'm doing bc nobody posts percabeth fanfic on tumblr but guess what? i do! i've been wanting to do a series like this for a while so i'm glad i'm finally getting started on it. lmk what you think here!

also posted on ao3

prologue: thinking about you.

Grover has been watching Annabeth lose herself for the last few hours. 

Had she known, Annabeth would argue that Grover does this every morning. But today doesn’t follow their normal routine. The two canceled their shift at work for the next morning and took an early leave to prepare. Instead of locking her bedroom door and rotting in bed, Annabeth hobbled over to her best friend's house for a night with no sleep and a bag full of candy, ready to binge watch Disney classics till the sun peeks through the windows. 

It’s an annual event, one that follows a 10 year tradition; One the same day every year, Annabeth and Grover have a sleepover, in which they total approximately two hours of sleep and six hours of movies. 

It’s supposed to be fun, and Annabeth does find it fun. But for the last two years, it’s been different. Tainted. Scarred. And Grover knows this, but will never say it out loud. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

He’ll make her say instead. 

She’s not surprised at the question. Really, it was inevitable. Grover knows what joy looks like, and he knows what a lack of it looks like on Annabeth. She could feel his eyes observing her as she stared at Lilo and Stitch without a single tear rolling down her cheek. He can always count on her to sing along with Gaston, but not a peep left her lips. He knows how emotional the Little Mermaid gets you, but he couldn’t hear a sniffle from her. 

She doesn’t bother turning her head to face him. She won’t let him see the silent tear trails on her face. “You already know.”

Does he ever wonder?

Does he ever wonder like I do?

About the memories he’s left behind on a whim, in the hopes for a dream that was miles away. Away from the town he’s been in since he could babble a few incoherent words, towards a city filled with unfamiliar faces Away from the town he can only remember by your name. 

About the memories that haunt her at night, but they swear they’re here to keep her at ease. They should be comforting, but they’re holding her tight enough to be suffocating. 

Maybe they’ll let her sleep tonight if she cries a bit. Just a teeny bit. 

Before she knows it, her eyes are teary. Grover feels her shift on the makeshift bed the two made on the ground. “You good?”

Nights spent on the phone talking about forever, an eternity that would only last a little over a year. Had the word stayed true to its meaning, she wouldn’t have hated it. Spending forever with him. She’d sigh and tell him this in hushed whispers as she’d lay in bed with her phone beside her pillow, and he’d giggle a bit. If she wasn’t too caught up with the idea of eternity with him, she would’ve realized that he’d never reply with confirmation. That he thinks about it too, that her idea of forever exists in the realm of possibility. 

Did he ever toy with forever like I had?

She doesn’t respond to the silent boy next to her, who waits for some kind of response. There’s a pile of memories clogged in her blue veins, and they choose tonight to flow properly. 

And so she does what she knows best. 

Lie. 

“I’m good.”

Her memories unravel themselves quickly. They’re only a few years old, but they’ve learned fast.  Really, they’re not evil in nature – sneaking out at one in the morning to see him at a park near her house, writing exclamations of love into his skin during class, holding his hand as he walks her home – but they’re sharp. Short strands, but they have an edge to them. They know where to poke her, where to prod, where to stab. Like shards of glass, meeting her chest with good aim. 

(But it doesn’t seem like an issue. She’d relive them in her head regardless of the pain.)

It doesn’t take Grover long to realize that she won’t say anything more than that. Instead of pushing for an answer, he lazily turns his body to face her. “I miss him too, y’know.”

And that’s what makes Annabeth break. 

Because it’s not just her – it’s Grover, her cousin, and more importantly, his best friend. The boy he’d known way before you, since the two were in pre-school, squalling nonsense that only made sense to them. Brothers who knew each other better than themselves (though Grover would argue that he never really knew him). 

Grover’s hurt too, and it makes everything hurt more. 

She’s sobbing before she knows it, staining her cheeks and pillow in the process. It’s an unmapped cry that escapes her, one that doesn’t sound like her. She tries to pin it on something – regret, distaste, sorrow – yet it doesn’t land quite right. Must be something ugly, something that can only exist in a person who’s come across Percy Jackson.

“It’s been two years,” she manages through the tears. “And I’m still feeling like this.”

“I know.” Grover comforts her. She’ll never know it, but the tears he holds back are only for her. 

“He doesn't even think about us. And I know he did it for himself, for his career, for his family, but it’s just… I don't know–”

“You feel greedy,” Grover tries to grasp. “for wanting him to stay–”

“No, that’s not it!” she barely recognizes the noise that’s coming out her throat. Is this what her memories have done? Turned her into a foreigner of her own voice? “That's not even what I wanted! I just – I just wanted him to tell me… and to tell you…”

…that he was leaving. Not that he didn’t – he did, just on the day of. 

That’s one memory that she can’t unravel. She doesn’t remember how her day started, or how the conversation came about. All she recalls is the moment he said, “I have to leave.”

The rest is a blur. She remembers looking at him incredulously, as if he was joking. She remembers arguing with him, angry at him for choosing to tell her now, when his ride to the big apple was an hour away. She remembers watching him leave, his shoulders slouched as he walked away from the ruins of their relationship. 

She wonders what remains of her now. In his mind, perhaps he only remembers a lousy town with a girl with perpetual mascara running down her face. Maybe he remembers her name, not her face. Maybe she’s a distant memory that he can’t bother to recall, not when he’s at the peak of his career. 

Years pass, and so do her emotions. Hatred has dissolved in her heart, but she’s sure she can build it back up if she wants to. She’s more understanding, that maybe it was for the best. Sure, she wishes he executed things better. But she gets it – Percy was a boy with dreams. And she, better than most people, should know what it means to reach for them. 

It means to sacrifice the things you love the most – and maybe, it was proof that he did love her, at least back then. If that were the case, she wishes that she wasn’t on the top of the list. 

Maybe nothing of her remains, and that’s what scares her the most. Especially when his everything is engraved in her. 

It’s been exactly two years since the day he left, yet the realization only settles in her bones now – she’s afraid that she’s worth nothing more than dust to the boy who once loved her from the sun and back. 

The truth is, Percy wonders too much.

His ‘friends,’ if that’s what he could call them, told him the night was still young. To be clear, it was an hour past midnight, and Percy just wanted to crash at his hotel room. 

To be even clearer, he didn’t know these guys well. He's seen a few of them in that new movie with vampires, and the others are fellow singers whose songs he’s heard far too many times. They smile on the red carpet, baring their fancy looks for the cameras, and wipe the smiles off their faces as soon as they take a step off it. He thinks it’s fair – he’s done the same today – but it doesn’t excuse them from being absolute assholes to everyone who isn’t an A-list celebrity. 

Of course, Percy doesn’t fit in the category of nobodies for them. He’s topping the charts with every new release and bagging every award he’s been nominated for. To the famous clique, he’s one of them, just haven’t been acquainted yet. 

So when Percy happened to have a table near theirs, they invited themselves over with a bottle of alcohol that he swears was not on the menu. 

Percy knew nobody besides Jason, his first friend in the industry, and his only friend at this event. He'd really been hoping that he and Jason could leave without anyone noticing. Like the incredible actor he was, his friend called Percy’s manager and convinced her that the two of them were actually feeling sick. 

“Never going to a gala again,” Jason groans as they enter the hotel lobby. “That was terrible.”

“Yeah,” Percy mumbles. “I just wanna crash right now.”

Percy has never been a man of many words, Jasons noticed. He’s still the shy boy from the small town, even when he has to smile at the paparazzi that followed him practically everywhere. But today in particular, Percy hasn’t been talking much.

Despite the obvious lack of words from the raven haired boy, Jason says nothing. Even as they head up the elevator, the two stand in silence. It’s comfortable, but it’s different from their usual fall of words. Percy’s eyes are closed, not in concentration, but in an exhaustion that Jason can’t seem to pinpoint. 

Jason doesn’t know anything about the town Percy left behind two years ago. He doesn’t know that today marks two years since he’s left it behind, and wouldn’t understand the weight that it holds, even if Percy were to tell him. 

He’s been wanting to ask if something is wrong for the past few hours, and so he finally does. He's not expecting much, but Percy looks at him as if he’s finally hit his tipping point. 

And that’s how Jason finds himself in Percy’s hotel room, having been dragged into the room by his older friend. He’s concerned, surprised by the sudden emotional act Percy’s put on. 

“It’s just…” he heaves as he sits down on his bed. “It's been a long day.”

An understatement at its finest. He knew what awaited him – beyond the gala, there was his family. Sure, they’ve been on good terms, great even, but the weight of his ticket back home seems to weigh the room down. There’s his friends from back home, whose texts pile up on his phone (which Percy ignores). 

And then there’s Annabeth. Clouding his thoughts before he woke up, appearing in his dreams and haunting him before he could take his first breath of the day. 

It’s a given, he thinks, knowing that he’s made peace with everything else back in town. His parents were always supportive, his friends came to understand. But there’s a distance of time and heart between Annabeth and him, and the fact that it’s tainted his perception of who she is now has him begging God to shrink him into nothing. 

So his day was rough. He can’t recall a moment where he didn’t feel an ache in his chest. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

Percy fiddles with the bottom of his tie, rolling the material between his fingers. “well…”

He does, but the last thing he wants to do is say her name out loud. 

“It's been two years since I left my hometown,” he mumbles. It’s easier to say than I broke up with my girlfriend two years ago and haven’t gotten over it since. 

“I see.” Jason says, though he doesn’t really get it. He grew up in the city, and even though the two boys are practically the same, there’s a difference in experience between them. Where Percy grew up was vastly different from this place, so Jason tries to understand. “You miss it?”

“Mhm. I miss my parents, and…”

And Annabeth.

“There's something bugging you,” Jason notes with a frown on his face. “You can tell me, y’know. I won't judge.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you… it’s just complicated, I guess.”

“Well,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I'm all ears.”

Percy doesn’t know what to say. But since his friend’s standing there, leaning against his dresser and waiting for him to speak, he supposes he has to spit it out at some point. 

“Just… thinking about someone.”

“A girl?”

He goes silent for a second too long and Jason panics. “Oh, is it a guy–”

“No, no. It’s my girlfr– well, ex-girlfriend.”

He nods in sympathy. He’s never been in a relationship, but he can imagine how hard breakups can be. “Yhings were rough, I’m guessing?”

Nothing was rough, actually. Things were as perfect as they could possibly be. 

The two were enemies as kids. He remembers bits and pieces – young Annabeth kicking sand in his face, swearing that she’d never go close enough to catch cooties from him. 7-year-old Percy splashing water in her face (read: soaking her with a water bottle) and running away before she could tell his mom. Swore that they’d never be friends unless it rained cows. 

Except things didn’t go as planned; she ended up dating him through highschool, and he ended up leaving her at the end of it. 

“I guess you could say that. We broke up the day I left town.”

Percy doesn’t tell him that it was because of him, or that it happened right before he was leaving for the train station. He doesn’t mention how he was feeling blue for his first year here, and that even though it’s past one year, he feels sick at any memory of you. He doesn’t even say her name, because the weight of his guilt lays heavy on the vowels and it’s too much to bear. 

Instead, Percy does exactly what Jason wanted – unpack how he feels. He lets his feelings escape the lid, listens to them pour out without caring about how selfish he sounds, how terribly hoarse his voice is. 

Annabeth always seems to do this to him. A single memory of her has him feeling like he’s eighteen again. Every memory of that time leads to a dead end, and though a small part of him wishes he could forget her, his mind tends to run back to that time. 

It's incredibly stupid of him to miss her when he was the one who left. He knows this, but can’t help but indulge in the longing he feels. 

And by the time he’s done talking, there’s a box of tissues in his lap and Jason beside him, patting his back as if it could erase every bad emotion he’s feeling.

Jason’s at a loss for words. He didn’t know, but he feels like he should’ve. He should’ve connected the dots when he caught Percy reading old text messages a few days. He should’ve gotten the hint when he saw Percy standing next to another girl as if he was a stiff tree. He should’ve caught on to how his friend never liked to talk about relationships, excusing it as something he wasn’t interested in, despite his unrivaled passion for romcoms.

Percy loves torturing himself by thinking about Annabeth, but talking about her is the opposite – any mention of her seems to bring the mood down for not just him, but everyone around him. The weight of her name is so heavy, it’s a burden on anyone who knows your situation with him. 

It's especially terrible when your Annabeth is inscribed in his heart, his veins adorned with engravings of her. The vessels are shrinking under her load, pressing his chest and squeezing his throat. 

With every mention to Jason, her name escaping his lips makes the weight increase. 

It's been exactly two years since the day he left, yet his heart feels heavier than before. 

[maxwell-grant]

Glad to know you like suicide squad, did you ever finish reading JLI?

I have a lot of respect and love for the creative team but, sorry to dissappoint, I found JLI fucking unbearable and could not finish it. I gave it 25 issues and powered through after dropping it and didn't enjoy one single moment of it and I don't think this is magically going to become tolerable when it's time to bring in Despero and the Global Guardians and the character with a slur for a name. I guess I could say it was a good comic of it's time that I just didn't vibe with and leave it at that, or I'd say I think the humor drags down the good parts, but to be honest I'm just not seeing the good parts here either. The best things I can say about it is that it's well-drawn and that Max Lord is a decently compelling puzzle/central figure to pin this enterprise on, a twist on Ozymandias for a different context, I get why fans are upset on him being turned into a clear-cut villain, although Amanda Waller he ain't. And of what I've seen that's kinda it actually.

It is kind of weird that this exists in an opposite world situation to Suicide Squad, where Suicide Squad is the more traditionally-drawn book about rejects banding together under hardship to deal with troubled international quagmires and find their own bonds to humanity and each other amidst chaos, and Justice League is the slick colorful book about rejects being funnyman bastards doing violent pantomine routines 24/7. You'd think it was the other way around. You'd think Guy Gardner wouldn't be more unbearable than Captain Boomerang given he is technically a more moral person, but when Boomerang's being misogynistic, he eats shit for it, where as when Gardner pretends to fall atop Canary so he can grope her, it's played as a gag (and god you could not ask for a starker difference than the treatment of their female characters between these two books). But as is, I am not remotely impressed by characters acting like funnyman bastards for 90% of any given story, and then punctuating their moments of seriousness by constantly reafffirming that they aren't one-bit jokesters.

Did you catch that the first time? Can't you see how they are more than just funny jokesters, let's repeat that again for emphasis, don't you get the nuance on display here, don't you get there is more to Blue Beetle and Guy Gardner than being unbearable pieces of shit, in case you don't let's have Hawkman's every single goddamn line be about how he's a big old stuck-up meanie harping about the old days who is wrong for not accepting the new way of doing things (and please do not take this as me being upset about the sanctity of fucking Hawkman, it's just one more horribly grating thing in a comic full of them). I get why these characters have big followings, but I'm at a loss to understand why said followings would originate from this, it seems like all of them surely must have acquired whatever nuance or likeability they have later.

You know that thing people complain about regarding vapid cliche lines like Well that just happened / It's not what it looks like / That's gonna leave a mark / Uum he's right behind me isn't he, that kind of stuff? JLI feels like the birth of those, it feels like the real version of the thing that people who exaggerate MCU quips complain about, because oh my god every fucking page is littered with those, they can't get through anything without doing an insufferable bit. Every character is the suffering straight man or trying to be the funniest person in the room in an interminable Mad Magazine skit. They never shut up and never stop making jokes and they NEVER make a single one of them funny and everybody talks the same, everyone makes the same jokes, everybody has one trait and that's their joke, and my god you guys I gave this thing 25 damn issues of a chance and I hate even thinking about it, and if a single one of you tries to get me to read one more comic with G'nort in it I swear I'm going to -

So, yeah, wasn't for me. Credit where credit's due though, the one funny joke I've seen in this constitutes an all-timer Batman moment.