#I suddenly got to understand a lot more
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Ok I was re-watching the last scene of ep6 and I feel like the light of understanding dawned on me, how did I miss so much nuance the first few watches??? Aziraphale and Crowley literally were saying 2 different things: Crowley wants to run from Heaven and Hell ("both toxic"),but Aziraphale only understands that he wants to run away as usual, he doesn't understand Crowley loves him (even Crowley didn't realize it until 5 minutes before).
Not at first. That confession is a mess and from a communicative pov, quite a fail. Basically Crowley is saying "we've always been a team, let's keep being a team by running away like Gabe and Beez run away from their responsibilities". That's what Aziraphale understands, he's so confused when Crowley says "We're a group, a team, an us". That has to be the dumbest (affectionate) confession I've ever seen actually, is he confessing or hyping his team right before a big match?
Aziraphale doesn't understand the love behind the "love confession": he probably still thinks Crowley thinks of him as a "friend" and he still wants him by his side. He loves him so much that he is ready to go back to Heaven and offers him what he thinks is the thing Crowley wants the most: become an angel again. From Az's pov, that's the best thing he could ever give him. Crowley, his nice, dear Crowley, finally safe and happy again. They can finally be safe, together, doing good, making a difference. But Crowley is throwing it all to the wind, choosing to stay a demon instead of choosing Aziraphale and "good, light". Az considers himself to be the good in their "us". Crowley is refusing good, Heaven, him. It stings, that refusal, feels like a betrayal of all those 6000 years where they helped and protected each other. Crowley is always saving him, but is refusing to be saved.
"We could have been us, you idiot". Aziraphale doesn't understand, because the kind of us Crowley was proposing was the same thing of 6000 years. Yes, a beautiful agreement, companionship in their loneliness, but also forced to hide from Hell and Heaven so they don't get killed. Hiding, running away, always a breath away from being together, but never together, because they're so fundamentally apart, demon and angel, always separated by this big rift. That for a moment seemed adjustable, but now no more.
He's not expecting a kiss. He's shocked beyond everything imaginable: he loves Austen, sensible romances, people having misunderstandings but in the end, agreeing and seeing it eye to eye, a sensible marriage/union, chosen together over shared goals/ideals. A kiss is, if anything, the seal of that agreement, the culmination of all that sensible, old timey wooing stuff. Instead, Crowley just rejected the best offer and he's tempting him again, like that night when he offered him the meat and he thought he'd be a fallen angel, after that. But this time he's offering so much more. Something Aziraphale has probably denied himself for centuries. Come with me: you will have me. But choose me, not heaven. It's lonely. It's us. Our own side.
Did he actually understand what Crowley meant? Or is he just hearing "you have to come with me on my own terms and completely give up heaven, the good side and possibly yourself, possibly at the cost of Falling"? Which is also what Aziraphale is asking Crowley: "renounce to who you are and you can be with me, doing good, eradicating the part that is now you forever". A different Falling, a reverse Fall. An ascension to light, pureness, good (very interesting choice of poses, btw).
It's all this and a lot more: there's pride, there's prejudice, there's 2 people who see things differently and have a lot of problems, they're "never saying what they're really thinking" (like Maggie said). Like that night preparing for the West End:
Aziraphale: "thank you for saving my books (why do you keep saving me and being so nice to me?)" Crowley: "shut up (Don't make me say it)". Crowley: "Cheers for getting me off the hook (are you just doing this out of the agreement, for yourself, for me?)" Aziraphale: "Oh don't hank me (don't say it out loud), that's what... friends... are for (we'll always be there for each other, like always, we just can't say it more explicitly than this, me and you, angel and demon, forever bound to suffer because of our natures).
Saying what they really think, for once. That way they could have actually discovered all the things that transpired in the final discussion... a little sooner? Before the Megatron came into the picture meddling, muddling the waters? Who knows.
#good omens#good omens 2#gos2#my meta#wow this came out longer than expected#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable dumbasses#it's not that I didn't understand what happened in this scene#it's just that watching it again with a fresher mind and having read some other meta that pointed out how they just don't communicate#I suddenly got to understand a lot more#whoever says this is not good writing hasn't watched the series again lol#I love this scene even more
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+ little bonus
I think I accidentally created their son instead of Jeeves when I was drawing the first frameđ
#jeeves and wooster#bertie wooster#reginald jeeves#jooster#reverse au#a little sketch of Wooster and Jeeves in reverseâ¨ď¸#I read the latest reverse fanfic from âmy man Woosterâ on ao3 and I understand the other servants treated him coldly#but hey!#I don't know how but Wooster is a member of the Ganymede club#(I just think it's not an easy club to get into and membership has to be earned somehow or something like that)#...and he wouldn't be very liked there either#at least for not paying his membership fee on time#of course everyone would wonder how mr Jeeves ever hired someone like him#and a lot of people would be jealous#but maybe he'd find a few good chums there who'd be happy for himâ¤ď¸âđŠš#I also think he'd get criticized for instead of giving a short review of his employer#he'd write more artistic things about him in that review book (can't remember what it's called haha)#if suddenly he managed to work for someone for more than a couple of weeks and got to know them well enough to write a review of course#fanart#my art#artists on tumblr#art
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Honestly despite my feelings about how the last arc of MHA went down I really love Deku and his story.
I just feel like a lot of the time we get these protagonists whose whole philosophy is it doesnât matter what you were born as everyone can achieve greatness. But then the series goes on and it turns out that actually it DOES matter because the protagonist has this really great lineage and these really great powers you can only have through birth they were actually born born, predestined if you will, to do this.
But MHA actually sticks to its guns. Midoriya wasnât revealed to have some great connection to all might that the universe had put in place. He wasnât defended from some great lineage that makes him uniquely suited to this. Hell All for one didnât even turn out to be his father, there was no hidden powerful quirk he was always meant to have. He was just Midoriya Izuku a boy who was in the right place at the right time and simply decided to act while the world did nothing. And thatâs what really made him a hero.
I donât know, maybe itâs just me, but I believe him a bit more when he goes anybody can be a hero if you just decide to act
#also never stop crying baby I love taht about you#like I do understand that being given one for all an extremely powerful quirk is kind of a cop out#but still the quirk was passed down to him because of his own merits not becayse it was pre destined or because he was born to weird it#and honestly thatâs more than weâve got in a long time.#yes this is a little bit of a naruto call out cause I will never get over that complete 180 đ#and it does randomly drop that little tidbit of how it was good luck Midoriya was quirkless or the quirk would have killed him young#but honestly I donât even know what to make of that besidesâŚâŚyay?#also yeah thatâs pretty realistic sometimes disabilities make your more suited for somethings so yeah#this isnât me implying that other protagonists didnât work hard by the way I know they did two things can be true at once#bakugo proves that. like he is was born with an extremely powerful quirk but nobody can say he doesnât work hard#itâs just a little tiring to see this underdog character suddenly get a backstory thatâs like sike you actually needed to be born to do thi#one piece does this a little bit to be fair to them the story doesnât really emphasize anyone can do it that way it has different themes#about what family means and itâs all about inherited will so I can give it a pass#but yeah I really appreciate mha for sticking to that gun even though it dropped the ball on a lot of things#like never fully addressing the quirkless people can be heroes too thing but thatâs a topic for next time#throwing thoughts to the void#deku#mha#my hero academia#mha meta#mha analysis#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#one for all#mha deku#bhna#boku no hero acedamia
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resisting the urge to write an essay about how the changes in the void and the outsider make narrative sense and pick at every detail of the depictions and what it means for the story
#li.txt#i know a lot of people have an issue with it and ive seen far too many posts whining about the change#and like call it nd brain but i can never tell with these people if they are just bitching because something got changed and they dont like#that it got changed and do not care about the narrative implications of said change#or if they are like 'I get it. I dont enjoy it but I see where theyre coming from'#which I definitely do not understand because the moment I start understanding something on a deeper level I appreciate it so much more#that or I suddenly have a moment of 'I hated it because it seemed stupid but now I see the point and Im pissed at how badly it communicates#either way catch me making a yt channel where I do 20 min analysis of these things because I cant seem to shut up about it
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really loving wuwa so far, it still lags a bit here and there but it kinda feels like it just has to marinate for a while? first 10 minutes are painful but after it seems like it has its assets cached or something and it isn't as much a problem anymore. it also looks like kuro games has been working overtime putting in patch fixes asfdjlkadfsj god speed to the devs fr
#0.txt#i'm all about combat gameplay and exploration so i'm having LOADS of fun on that front#i don't really have any opinions on the story yet tbh. its not bad but it's not amazing but i never have high expectations for#early game story to begin with. or gacha games in general tbh ajkladsf#i DO really like the world building in the sense of everything being made up of frequencies. it helps tie a lot of the lore together imo#my only thing is like. honestly if i didn't know who the fuck i was or where the fuck i was why would i go on this puzzle hunt for#some magistrate who i haven't even met in person. but whatever ig lol#character wise i'm running sanhua / yangyang / mortefi#sanhua is the fave here i love the charged attack mechanic where you have to release at the right moment#yangyang's cc is really useful and mortefi is also just fun lol#from trials i REALLY like using jiyan and lingyang so i hope i pull them eventually. still need to try out others though too#in general i definitely prefer the melee characters waaay more than others. i haven't liked a single rectifier yet ajskdlaf#(i got encore off the beginner banner)#my only gripe with the combat is that the range definitely feels a bit small like if you're a little too far away you won't hit the enemy#i'm eager to actually figure out proper playstyles though. i do actually like that effectively just button mashing also works#but it's also super satisfying understanding a character's exact gameplay mechanics#i have not even looked at character building though that is a whatever until it suddenly clicks fadkflaf
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before i went to the hospital today i decided to just afk out on vincent with a dance emote going (cause i always think that's cute when people do it) and right before i left someone whispered me asking if i'm married to gaius (vincent's last name is baelsar in game) and when i said yes they went "nice! i ship it! :D" and man did that make my day.
#something i've noticed going back and forth to the hospital is that people have a really hard time staying in their own lane lately#i almost got sideswiped on my way home again today cause the car next to me started drifting into my lane#and after they changed lanes the same car bumped the curb a short bit after that like. are they paying attention?#i kinda understand drifting a bit if you're in the left lane because man it can be hard to line up the car in the lane. but on the right?#maybe they were just tired? it was 9p#it's just wild because i've almost been sideswiped like 3 times this week by people drifting into the lane and then suddenly jerking away#also was almost backed into in the parking lot when i was waiting for someone to cross in front of me. like bruh#a concerningly high amount of teslas out as well....#few more days and she'll be home. maybe even tomorrow if we're lucky and then i don't need to drive everyday
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i always really like how i can slowly pick up words as i listen to a language more and more. I'm learning japanese by accident
#and I'm noticing more and more when the subtitles don't fully line up#they get the same general idea across but the phrasing is altered for grammar or a similar phrase is used#understanding both the intial language (in some parts) as well as the subtitles kind of gives the whole thing a bit deeper of a meaning#also being able to recognize Very Human Experiences but in other cultures is very nice i like it a lot#also also it's really fun being able to distinctly pick out the occasional english interjected into the other language#like in japanese media some people will say english words or phrases#and sometimes because of the accent it's a little difficult for me to pick it out from the japanese#but I'm getting better at noticing it#i think bc before i partially tuned out the voices so i could read along#but being able to at least slightly understand both means I'm listening more clearly#i know a fair few japanese words now and the subtitles let me know the context a little better#i just really like being Aware that im learning it makes me very happy i love learning things#its so rare for me to notice the gradual improvement in my skills so when i do notice it it makes me really happy#I've got that adhd 'i Sucked before and now suddenly i Don't and i don't remember how i got here' brain
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the epic highs and lows of trying to read an ongoing shounen manga
#for me it uh. tends to have more epic lows than epic highs. im very unlucky with shounen#occasionally a few years after something i start reading it'll turn out to be good#but any time i follow something from the beginning it starts getting. worse#is it me? am i doing this? dont tell me to read your favourite shounen i'll turn it bad#did i ever mention that one manga. the moon is beautiful but first die#a mouthful of a title. it started kinda goofy but i really adored the main character for some reason#im still a bit attached to him. he cleans so well that he got the magic power to see real good. and now he can matrix bullet time#hes just like me for reeeeeeeaaaal hflkanjvdkfljfds but yeah that manga was. weird but fun BUT THEN#it got so wack you guys you dont understand. the first like one or two volumes? fun#everything else? god knows JHKFDJFDK i still read it all tho. i was invested in my guy with seeing real good powers#and im sorry to say. unfortunately it seems. a certain manga with a big tv adaptation that is pronounced oh she no co#my curse. its started. although that ones very much a epic high and epic low situation like itll be so so wack one minute#and suddenly get good again and then plummet back down HFKJDSBHJds we will see how it goes on#i started getting annoyed with the writing after the stageplay arc because they kept like. time skipping over so much#which i thought was a bit of a waste because there was a lot of interesting potential in a lot of the showbiz storylines. but we shall see#thats not shounen tho thats seinen but my curse applies to some seinen too LOL but most seinen i read is already finished#and shoujosei is spared from my curse. i think just because most i have the opportunity to read in english just tends to not#be drawn out or have weird scheduling things messing with the pacing. are there any weekly shoujosei magazines out there#i dont think weekly manga is good. for a lot of reasons mostly the mangakas health but also i find more weekly stuff i read#that isnt like. 4koma stuff suffers in its pacing a LOT. but again that might be my curse. the second i lay my eyes on it. the curse#(sorry ive been catching up on a lot of manga recently LOL ur getting my manga thoughts now)
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i love complexity. except of course if it's about me . hope that helps
#transmission#what i mean is i love acknowleging nuance and intricacies but i hate when i cant neatly compartmentalise myself#i want to know WHY im xyz! a distinct reason! and etc#i was thinking deeply the past few days on why i suddenly got so mad bc i do Not usually talk that way publicly#bc i dont want to be hypocritical in that. i purposefully usually speak in a way where i make myself overly clear and#try to avoid making people feel ashamed in any way. because i KNOW how it feels right#but digging further i think its like. its a rage inducing cycle of mockery in the infinite fandom. the normies make fun of the weirdos#and the weirdos make fun of the normies because hey fuck you too. and ppl who enjoy infinite casually arent inherently wrong#but when they fill the tags with complsints and criticisms on a source material they havent delved into much#it irritates a lot of the people who HAVE because while an opinion is fine critiquing something seriously does mean understanding it#on a bit deeper of a level i think?#and thats what always got me personally#but we just have this system of you suck youre wrong and i think its also because infinite has taken so much shit that#we are VERY protective and defensive. like yeah if people spend years ripping into the thing that you like that happens#idk in just pondering. the ponderer...#i like to analyse not just fiction but how ppls brains work in general and irl stuff#mostly personal dissection bc im obsessive about myself. not in a fun way but more an endless interrogation and rumination way#the disorder fr#not wanting to hurt ppl and make them feel judged bc you know what its like vs carthasis of dunking on ppl who dunk on you#thats what i think it is for me#one of the reasons i wasnt posting for a long time was caring too much abt other people so if im getting the itch again#im gonna keep an eye on it#anyway
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#a friend asked me how my depression was treating me lately and i want to cry remembering it now#im surrounded by a lot of caring and understanding people. people that know what i feel even#and yet i only continue to get worse#'cant complain' and its true i did feel more neutral that day. so why did it suddenly got worse again?!#i have been getting better sleep but. now im starting to get tired mentally#everything is too much. i feel so bad for not asking for help but what are others supposed to do?#its so out of nowhere and unstable i could be okay tomorrow. i dont want to ask for help too much#i just want to die#i will try to keep focusing hard on work and practice. but everyday that desperation to not lose to wanting to rot in bed is getting weaker#haunted.txt
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i think the villa diodati speech probably had a big effect on how yaz approached the doctor in flux and after
#not necessarily that it /changed/ how she approached her but like. 13 revealed a Lot abt how she thought abt the dynamic#like the fam were already like......lower down the ranking right? they already let her take the lead they already followed her orders#they werent TRYING to be like on her level like clara they understood very well how the dynamic worked#it was just the doctor that was holding onto the pretense#and i think they knew that but they probably didnt know Why exactly#but villa diodati revealed like a lot of sort of ingrained beliefs#suddenly it makes a lot of sense why shes keeping this hierarchy even if they dont know the details theyre all intuitive enough to get it#and that recontextualises the pretense too. it recontextualises the pretense in that like#okay so what she Says and what she Does keep not matching up. and what she Does is now-evidently trauma informed#so what she Says must be - well not Must be but with the rest of the context they have - what she would Like to be true#it's not they all know it's not but she really wants that to be true#i think that really informed how yaz approached the doctor afterward and maybe paradoxically helped them become way more of a team in flux#the doctor is still in charge but if yaz approaches her with the understanding that she needs to be in charge#then that creates the safety needed for the doctor to let yaz in a little bit#and i think thats also why yaz didnt push in sea devils - i mean lots of reasons obvs but#'i want to but i cant' is like. yaz has Seen that. yaz has seen what that looks like she understands what that means. very lived in#she has lived in the doctor's 'i want to but i cant'#idk am i making sense#i think that speech was a revelation and actually kinda helpful. after she got over the shock and hurt of it
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quite literally there is too much to say and pick apart about Tock in endwalker and the fact that her bullshit lore i just made up for the sillies wounded up aligning with canon concepts and therefore what went from ''silly child with accordion hears the songs in others heart'' became ''entelechy child singer of hope meets with the singer of despair at the end of the universe and gets through to her in a way that nobody else ever could"
#one of the major points of Tock is that she struggles to communicate herself both physically and conceptually#she stutters and doesnt word sentences right and it takes a lot of effort for her to speak#so often when the game makes tock silent/nod its because she just knows her words wont come right and its no use to talk#but meeting meteion is like an always closed door opening for the first time because they can have a two-way conversation#of enchelety to enchelety. and originally tock being an enchelety means she couldve communicated to people#but only one way aka via the songs she heard. thats their inner most truest emotions and thoughts#but with meteion they can actually understand each other#and so tock goes from an outwardly awkward speaker verbally to an articulated wordsmith in her emotional connection to meteion#like shes having full on conversations with intricate sentences and wordplay and jokes and double entendres#where verbally she skips and stutters and loses track of her words and mumbles and hgoes Uhm. constyantly#and i think having that connection when she goes to elpis and meets meteion really messes her up#not in a bad way but its as if suddenly everything ois so much brighter now and theres more words in her heads#its as if the air got lighter and a tsunami of emotions and thoughts made its way through the arches#communicating with someone in a way where tock feels like shes In the conversation for the first time in her life#đŤĄ#edw spoilers
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#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic#tag talk#like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in.#taking a break from a relationship is code for âwe're breaking upâ. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond#I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's deadâ trope could be seen as a version of that.#a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing.#a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached.#people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment.#if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't.#there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship.#why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time#cue that magnificent seven quote that's like âcowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the landâ. there are different ways to live#and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with.#and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels#I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden.#but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue.#I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually#the classic âmen want fwbs and women want a committed relationshipâ â ď¸ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously.#I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable#and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting
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also. what they dont tell you about being a sorcerer (5) bard (1) is that
you get a F U C K ton of spells
#speculation nation#fang#d&d#and ALL!!!! of them are prepared#im used to playing a wizard with many many spells but u can only have a handful prepared at a time#fang can use Any of these at Any time (spell slots permitting)#and he got detect magic (unlimited) from his eldritch invocation (feat). and darkness from a shadow sorcerer feature#fang really is just all *finger wiggles* about his magic. he doesnt understand it. but BOY can he do a lot of it#he described today his fireball as 'if i think Really Hard and Point... i can make Big Things happen'#AGHHHHHH i love him so much tho. he's still so squishy but i love him sooo much#AND!!!!!!!!!! i have healing spells now too. thank god#5 sorcery points on top of all this. AND two bardic inspiration#fang really is just like. absolutely overflowing with magic. but super fucking casual about it#he does not!!! understand what he's doing!!!! he's just like playing the flute and feeling smth different with his magic#& he's just like 'Huh." decides to play around with that. and suddenly he knows 6 more spells#and he can HEAL!!!!!!!!! im so stoked about that lmfao#i did NOT take vicious mockery bc i already have Mind Sliver as a psychic damage cantrip AND chill touch. two damage cantrips#vicious mockery is kinda the iconic bard thing but just. idk minor illusion seemed more useful to me.#probably gonna keep it at 1 bard level at least until i get my shadow wolf. so im taking shadow sorcerer level next level (whever that is)#I WANT MY BIG PUPPYYYYYYYYYYYYY big boy loves to bite. i need him#i would have him if i didnt take bard level... but it's ok.... the versatility is worth it#fang is the most hilariously influential person that exists and everyone just has to deal with it#he walks around changing people's lives & he's just like 'eh dont worry about it' b4 leaving to continue on his way#tunnel vision. very task-focused. unless he gets distracted in which case it is tunnel vision on the distraction#he regularly went on swims in the fuckin ocean alongside the boat bc he's got a fancy cloak that lets him breathe underwater & he loves it#i literally love him so much guys i Cannot describe how much i love him#i wish his charisma was higher lol BUT it's ok. we just need to get to level 9 so i can increase smth (with sorcerer 8)#tho hmmm levels 2 and 3 bard look so good too... hmmmmm#difficult choices lol. ah well
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there's a lot of reasons why that titans show wanting to do batfam specific arcs, especially death in the family/under the red hood, flopped so hard each time, but one of the biggest is that they basically brought jason back after, like, a fucking month and it basically negates the entire thing
#personal#i mean the entirety of the stupid plotline makes me want to go mad#like i think they do actually have bruce kill the joker in retaliation which is like well then what's jason's problem then#that was the main sticking point for him#and then they have bruce like actively looking for replacement robins which like???? he didn't want another robin????#he was DONE with robins until tim full on blackmailed his way into the position like a little fucking menace#but like a huge part of the tragedy of the whole thing is the amount of time jason missed#jason dies as a shrimpy fifteen year old (like i think he's under five foot i think he's canonically 4'6??? baby!!!)#and then he comes back and he's older and more jacked and significantly more jaded#than he was in his 'i'm robin and being robin gives me magic' era#he lost a significant swath of his life and bruce never got to watch his son grow up it's fucking sad#and more importantly bruce had a lot of time to sit with this loss#to try and get to something of an acceptance and understanding that it happened and there's no way to change it#the *entire family* did they all had to take a lot of time to come to terms with that#and then suddenly jason's back??? and all that attempted healing gets thrown way out of whack because suddenly he's here again???#listen there's a way to do death in the family/under the red hood to make it a huge gut punch in a tv format#it's a bit difficult because it's such an iconic and well known arc that people can sometimes be blasĂŠ about it all#but there's a way that you can make it Work and work really well (as always i have thoughts)#titans uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh titans did not do that. at all. they beefed it.
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I was talking with my dad recently & we got on the topic of People Thinking They Can't Do Things, and like, he is at his core a well-intentioned person who genuinely wants the best for others, but he has definitely internalized some harmful ideas a la "anyone can do anything, the only thing stopping them is their own attitude". so I was like. I see where you're coming from, but let me tell you a story.
last year, I worked with 10 year olds- many of whom had never really spent time outdoors- in an outdoor education program where they came to spend a whole week doing shit outside in nature. the top two scariest experiences for these kids were 1) very tall metal tower, and 2) walking outside at night in the dark with no flashlights.
I tried a lot of different things to persuade them all to join me for each experience: I presented it with enthusiasm and passion, I did physical demonstrations and scientific explanations to help them understands how safe it was, I voiced my absolute commitment to their safety, I invited them to brainstorm ways to help each other and themselves feel safe, etc.
generally I always had at least 2-3 kids out of about 10 who opted out, or if they did join me, would spend the entire experience crying and freaking out. when it was over, they would conclude that even though they did not die- or even get hurt- it was so scary that it wasn't worth it and they never wanted to do it again.
then I changed the question I asked. instead of asking them to tell me whether they could do it or couldn't do it, I asked them to raise their hand for one of three options:
You can definitely do this.
It will be hard or scary or uncomfortable, but you can try to do this.
It will definitely be too hard, scary, or uncomfortable, and you cannot or should not try to do this.
suddenly, almost nobody was opting out of these experiences.
they would try, even if they were scared, because they know that being scared didn't necessarily mean that they couldn't do it at all. and more importantly, they knew that if they needed to stop, that was an option; they weren't trapped in their decision to try.
and the real takeaway here, for me, is in the nuance: people need to be able to challenge themselves and to be uncomfortable in order to grow, and people need to be able to opt out in order for opting in to be a safe option.
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