#I still love you even if you have trash taste in romance

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I was totally talking about the "no, this was good and I'm gonna make more of it because you're wrong and I'm right." type of spite in regards to the statue scene and Adrien saying that's when he fell in love with Marinette.

I feel the same way towards what they did with Bustier in Season 5, having her new akumatized form be this awesome revolutionary who wanted to dethrone the mayor, have her eventually become the mayor and showing how downright utopic Paris became after she took the job, revealing that she's a LGBT character by giving her a girlfriend and have them share a kiss oncreen while the other LGBT couples still get little to nothing, it just feels like like they saw how people were hating on her because of how she kept fumbling the bag in regards to Chloe, and this was their attempts at forcing the audience to like her.

(Post this ask is referring to)

Disclaimer

Before we get into the topic at hand, I want to give a quick disclaimer: when I write these posts explaining the writers' most likely point of view or industry standards, it's never to defend the writing. I clearly don't like the writing and want it to change, too! The reason I get real and explain what's probably going on and why things aren't going to change is to give my readers a bit of a reality check about realistic expectations.

In the past, I have been in the position of being deeply emotionally invested in a show only for the writers to destroy it. Or, at least, I thought it was destroyed. It took about two seasons for the general public to agree with me. I remember the desperation of "why would they do this to us?" and "Why didn't anyone stop them?" and "How does no one else see how terrible this is?"

That was a deeply unhealthy mindset for younger me, so I'm never going to feed others who seem to be going down that path as it feels irresponsible. Instead, I give the kind of answers I'd give my younger self. I try to validate your very real feelings that the writing is bad and then give my best guess as to how it's happening and why it's unlikely to change. I don't like those "truths", but it's important to remember them if you want to have a healthy relationship with media that you have no control over outside of choosing how you'll interact with it.

Queer Stuff

Until it's universally cool to be queer, Miraculous is never going to give us quality rep for a few reasons. The first one is that it can get the show banned in certain countries. Banned shows make less money and the goal is to make money so it's just not going to happen. At best, you will get throwaway lines that can be changed to be "acceptable" in other languages or minor scenes that are easily cut. That's the most likely reason why Bustier is the one confirmed to be in a sapphic relationship along with Knight Owl and Majestia. These characters are all minor enough to have their sexuality very subtly included in canon*. Rose and Juleka are way too prominent for the same treatment. The most likely reason for Bustier being with a woman is that the writers wanted to risk some rep and went with what they could get away with without rocking the boat. I doubt it was done to make fans like her more as that assumes that most fans care about the sexuality of a minor character. It also assumes most fans would find this a likeable trait as opposed to something neutral or negative.

There's also the issue of parental appeal. If a show becomes known for having queer rep, there are lots of parents who will steer clear of it and keep it from their kids. That means less toy sales and so on and that's not good for business. If you want solid queer rep, you need to look to less mainstream productions. It is highly unlikely to come from something associated with Disney.

*Do any of the sapphic couples even kiss? I don't think they do. It's like Zoé's confession to Marinette, clearly implied but never actually given voice. A young viewer could easily miss the implications if they've been sheltered from the idea that a girl could like a girl. I could see a kid being told/thinking that this was just Marinette being honored that Zoé trusted her with the truth:

Marinette: Oh? Who is it, then? (Zoé simply looks at Marinette and smiles, with no words needed to answer her question. With her reflection in Zoé's eyes, Marinette realizes that the person Zoé likes... is her.) Marinette: Oh... Oh! Oh. (Zoé keeps her tender, loving smile and gaze at Marinette as the two share an embrace moments after) I am truly, very honored. I mean it, Zoé. Zoé: Thanks, Marinette. (they let go of their embrace) You're right! It's such a relief to get these things off your chest. You should try it, too!

Listening to Criticism

This wasn't directly stated in this ask, so I'm going to pull in a quote from the original ask for context:

he saw how much people hated that scene but instead of addressing the criticisms he instead just point blank tries to force us to like the scene

This was said in context of criticisms about the statue scene. Anon is annoyed that the writers doubled down instead of fixing the writing issues. I fully understand why anon feels that way, but unfortunately, this isn't a simple issue of the writers needing to listen to what the fans are telling them. It's a lot more complicated than that.

There was actually a recent Tumblr poll asking people their thoughts on that scene. A thousand people responded. We have no idea if those people were a representative sample of the fandom, but that's a reasonably large sample size and the responses were diverse enough for me to think that the poll has value in this discussion as it shows us something interesting: people like the statue scene. It's not everyone. In fact, "I hate it" won! But about 35% of the people who voted were neutral to positive about the scene. Only 38% actually hated it outright.

A poll about the season five ending got over 1,700 replies and the end result was that there's a pretty even split between people liking it and hating it.

Based on these polls and the fact that some people clearly still like the show, I can easily assemble a committee to give critical feedback who would praise the things you and I hate just like I can easily assemble a team who generally shares the same opinions as us. That's the problem with blithely stating "listen to criticism" when what you really mean is, "listen to my criticism and ignore anyone who doesn't agree." What we see as fixes others would label as ruination!

Miraculous' Current Feedback Process

Miraculous isn't one man's fever dream. There is some level of critical feedback process in place. We know from the bible leaks that people at Disney and TF1 give some level of approval to the bibles before the more detailed writing can begin.

We also know that the writers have had scripts rejected before. Chat Blanc was supposed to be in season two, but was "was rejected by broadcasters [for being] too dark and too sad." There's even a rumor that Gabriel was killed because of a mandate that he couldn't go to jail to avoid upsetting Brazilian audiences (if anyone can confirm that, please let me know!) In other words, the writers do get push-back! They aren't allowed to write whatever they want! There is a feedback process!

None of this is meant to say that I think the show is good. I clearly think it's bad, too! I only bring all of this up because this is what you need to keep in mind when you're wondering what the hell canon is doing. We may not get it and view it as terrible, but there is a whole host of people who think it's good or, at the very least, good enough. Industry professionals are signing off on this shit. While I think they're all insane, the best takeaway from these facts is that the team working on this project has wildly different tastes from us and we should either stop watching or watch with the knowledge that we're probably going to hate the final product.

Counterexample

Let's pivot slightly to a relevant counterexample. Brandon Sanderson is one of my favorite authors and a book podcast I follow read one of his books about a year ago. Two of the members weren't fans while the third loved it, leading to a really interesting disclaimer at the start of the episode. I'll post a link after this in case you want to hear the exact quote, but the general gist is that the show's host - Maria - was talking about ways the book could be improved with two fans of the book and, to her surprise, they were both adamant that the proposed changes would ruin the book for them.

I don't bring up this example to imply that Miraculous is secretly good and we just don't get it. I stand by pretty much every criticism I've ever made. I bring it up because this shows that even a story that I will defend isn't universally appealing. I generally agree with Maria and Will's thoughts on stories, I mostly disagree with them here. Is the book perfect? No, but most of their suggested changes aren't ones I'd make. At the same time, I understand why the story didn't click with them. Many of their issues are valid. I just think that most of those valid issues are subjective issues and not true flaws. It's also worth noting that the Mistborn series is wildly successful. The author is a multi-millionaire. People clearly like it as-is, which is why critical feedback is impossible to get "right."

Annoying Truth About Critical Feedback

There is no universally good version of a story. No one standard every work can strive to meet. There's not even such a thing as a universally right critic! You can think a person's feedback is good 95% of the time and still be totally fine rejecting the other 5%.

Part of the editing process is getting feedback and deciding if you agree with it or not. You don't have to make every suggested change which is good because, if you have more than one person giving feedback, then you'll probably get conflicting feedback! I can think of one story where beta reader A found a section confusing and beta reader B said it was perfectly clear. I had to talk to A to see what was confusing them and decide if I cared to rewrite that section to cater better to people like her knowing it could lead to the section being less clear for people who weren't like her. I can think of another story where a random commenter took the time to tell me they didn't like the way I wrote Adrien, leading several others to comment saying that I got him perfect.

This is why I'm so hesitant to blame Miraculous' writers for not "listening to criticism" because what does that even mean? Without an objective standard, who decides what criticism is good? What happens when there are dissenting opinions on a topic as there almost always are?

Anyone who wants to create has to decide whose opinions they value and ignore basically everyone else otherwise they'd never create anything. If the Miraculous writers have a team AND the team likes what the writers are creating AND there's an audience happy to consume what show in its current state? I don't know how you fix that. I don't even know if you can. Can anyone give a tried and true way to avoid creating an echo chamber while also ignoring unhelpful "haters"? It's an incredibly complicated topic and is why the trend I mentioned in the linked post exists.

For those who don't want to click back and read that post, there's a pretty common trend where a series gets popular, but then the writing starts to get "bad" or people start to realize that the series is never going to live up to the potential that they saw in it. Less forgiving fans begin to stop watching, but enough fans stick around that the money keeps coming in and so the writers have no reason to course correct. By the time the majority of fans have given up hope, the writing is so bad that there's no saving the property. You'll probably never reach a point where everyone hates the series, but you do reach a point where they're no longer able to make the property commercial successful. That or the series reaches its ending and it's so bad that people basically stop talking about the series or only remember how poorly it ended when it used to be a beloved, pop-culture zeitgeist. This trend is basically the media's version of enshittification. My partner and I talked about various series that came to mind for this trend and these are just a few of the properties that we were able to name: RWBY, Zack Snyder's DC Stuff, BBC's Sherlock, Game of Thrones, and How I Met Your Mother.

If the more critical fans are right and Miraculous is a mess that's just getting worse and worse, then this decaying process is Miraculous' most likely fate. More and more people will turn their backs on it until it fails or the writers run out of ideas and give a lackluster ending that is pretty universally hated. It will probably be slightly gratifying to people like us to see one of those things happen, but not gratifying enough to make the loss of a potentially good story worth it. Having gone through this cycle before, it really is a hollow victory and that sucks, but there's nothing you or I can do about it which is why I take the stances I do. It's fun to dunk on canon, but don't let canon's bad writing drag you down into dark places. That won't benefit anyone. It will just hurt you.

Final Thoughts

All of the above is why this blog isn't aimed at the writers. I don't expect them to fix anything. Canon is what it is and it will continue to be what it is because this is what the creative teams considers good. I don't agree, but I also highly doubt that I'd ever be able to change their minds. Even if they read my feedback, I doubt they'd agree with it even though I will stand by every point I've made and think canon has inexcusable issues.

This blog is aimed at sharing my thoughts on the writing with fellow former fans or somewhat-critical current fans. I want us to have fun thinking about writing and alternate takes on Miraculous for our own amusement. I will be a happy woman if this blog helps any of my followers improve in their own writing or critical analysis skills or even just gives them an outlet to flex those mental muscles.

It's the same reason I like the podcast I linked above. I enjoy listening to the three hosts and their occasional guests dig into the technical elements of writing and why a thing did or didn't work for them because I find discussion of those things interesting and useful for honing my own writing. It's not about fixing the source material. The books they talk about are finished products that are what they are. Chances of an edited edition being released are extremely low. It's not even about being right. I have no idea how you decide who is right in matters of taste! There are multiple extremely popular series that have me scratching my head at how people like them! There are also popular series that I greatly enjoy.

With this vast array of tastes and no true standard for anyone to meet, all you can do is state your opinions on a work logically and clearly and let whoever is listening decide for themselves if they agree with you or not. It can be frustrating when they don't, but it is something you just kind of learn to accept so you don't go mad. "Let people be wrong" is, unfortunately, the best way to protect your mental health, especially when it comes to something as unimportant as Miraculous.

I'll finish by imploring anyone reading this to never force your opinion on a fan! That's just rude. Let them have their fun! Just don't take recommendations from them. Whenever I meet someone who likes a thing I hate, I just say it wasn't for me and leave it at that unless they truly want to hear why I didn't like it. Most people don't. Most people just want to enjoy the things they enjoy which is completely fine and normal. Let people be wrong.

[nightlyrequiem]

A request of with Valeria and fem reader inspired by the song let me love you by Mario. Where basically Valeria is interested in the reader but reader is in a shitty relationship and Valeria basically convinces them to leave their partner for her and then treats the reader miles better and like they're royalty

I think I really cooked here. I got to write a little bit of angst and some wholesomeness

Listened to this song and I think I have to add it to my playlist. I'm certainly always going to associate it with Valeria forever now

I'm not going to lie, I put off writing this because I wasn't sure how to even start it but once I did start it came so easily. Fun request to write. I had a good time writing it and I hope you have a good time reading it.

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Romance, Mentions of Cheating

Let Me Love You

Valeria has had her eyes on you for a while. Pretty much since she first met you, she's been pining. A dog at your feet, tail thumping against the ground. Softness isn't in her nature. Valeria is vicious, and mean, and violent, but never with you. An intricate, priceless glass sculpture. Made to be handled with the upmost care. Shined and dusted every day. Instead, you're pushed aside on a crowded shelf and left to deteriorate. Accidently dropped and cracked but never repaired. Pieces of you broken off and haphazardly swept into a trash bag.

You're sobbing in her arms. So hard that you're gasping for breath, shoulders tense and jerking with each wretched cry. He cheated on you again. She pushes your face into the crook of her neck. Hoping her scent makes you forget the smell of the cheap perfume you smelled on his shirt. 

"It's like you enjoy being hurt." Valeria whispers into your hair. Hand trailing between your shoulder blades. "I don't understand why you stay." When I'm right here.

"We've been together for years." You reply shakily. Voice cracking devastatingly. Valeria gently lowers herself onto the bed. You held in her lap. Valeria has her arms around you like a cocoon. Keeping you safe while you metamorphize. A delicate little moth.

It frustrates Valeria to no end. If you were her girl, you'd never know this kind of pain. You'd never be conditioned into feeling anxious when she's late to coming home. Your glow would never be dampened with her.

"Stop doing this to yourself." She says. Pressing a kiss to your temple. "Stop going back to that little boy, he doesn't deserve you." Not like I do.

"I can't." You weep. She can feel your brows furrowing against her neck, the quiver of your lips. Your warm breath hitting her skin in puffs. "I can't do it, Val."

"You can." She insists firmly. "... Leave him. You are a star in the vast night sky, corazón. He's nothing but light pollution hiding your beauty." Valeria pulls you tighter against her, heart pounding with finality. "Please, just be with me instead." Valeria Garza doesn't beg but she'd take a knee for you.

You go still and Valeria suddenly fears that she said the wrong thing. Pushed too far. She pulls back and gently takes ahold of your face, wiping away the crystal tears running streams over your warm cheeks. Glossy eyes brimming with misery stare back at her.

"Let me love you." She says softly. "I'll treat you so much better than him." 

She can see her longing reflected in your tears. She watches your throat move as you swallow. Valeria leans closer, brushing her nose against yours. Your lips brush and when you don't pull away, she presses her lips to yours. Drinking in your taste with reverence. Your fingers grip her hair, pulling her impossibly closer. Your salty tears breaching the seams of your lips.

She kisses you like she'll never get the chance to again. Sand slipping through her fingers. You pull away and let out a shuddering breath.

"It hurts so much." You say, pained. Pressing your face into her shoulder. "Make it stop. Please, Valeria, make it stop. Make me feel better. Make me better."

Valeria grasps your chin to make you look at her. "You're not going back to him." She says resolutely. Valeria's hands drift down to your shoulders. "Stay with me."

"I'm scared."

"Stay with me."

"Okay." You close your eyes. "I'll stay."

You stay the night. Layers of clothing peeled from your bodies. Laying skin to skin under the covers with your hands locked together. You fell asleep hours ago but Valeria fights the tiredness dragging at her eyelids. She's savoring this moment with you. She watches your eyelids flutter as you dream. Is it her face or his that you're seeing? All you've known is hurt but Valeria will change that.

"Shit!" You curse. Face scrunched in despair.  "I burnt them!" The cookies you were making together are hard and stuck to the pan. Blackened with heat. Valeria snorts.

"I told you not to leave them in there for that long."

"I wanted to make sure the dough was fully cooked." You reply defensively. Taking off your oven mitts and setting them down on the marble counter. "Salmonella is no joke, Valeria."

"No, but those cookies might be."

You swat at her, and she catches your hand, bringing it to her lips and pressing a chaste kiss to it. It's been months since you last sobbed in her arms, pleading for her to make it better. You haven't cried since. Valeria's gone above and beyond for you. Giving all of herself to you.

There have been some downs, naturally. So used to being on the defense and being suspicious, you'd get set off if she forgot to tell you she'd be late coming home. Valeria held you with endless reassurances. Never forgetting to tell you again. You've become so sure of yourself now. Evidence of you all over her home. Projects, clothes, art, interests. You are heard, you are seen, and you take up space. The cocoon cracked open, and you crawled out with your velvety wings quivering. Breathing in your new beginning.  

[oonajaeadira]

I'll Leave a Light On For You

Fandom: Bloodsucking Bastards / Max Phillips

Pairing: Max Phillips x f!reader

Reader: Adult female. No other physical descriptors; no use of y/n. (There is a little description, but it’s still you. Believe me, it will make sense. We’re dealing with the supernatural here.)

Rating: T. 

Warnings: Angst. Character death. Allusions to the atrocities of war and its lasting effects. Max is a vampire. Traumatic soul memory. Me assuming I know anything about French culture of the 1930s.

Summary: Max has reservations when it comes to love, and for very good reasons.

A/N: This is my entry for the @pedrostories Secret Santa event. While I played one selfish card in my hand and wrote something of a companion to Light Only Shows You Where the Shadows Are, this can still be read as a standalone.

To my giftee, the amazing and wonderful @artemiseamoon : First of all, I admire you so much and I was really nervous to write for you. But I looked among your generous prompt choices (omgs thank you for so many good choices) and was surprised to find Max as an option. I wasn’t going to choose him at first but then my eye caught “past lives” and something in me zinged. Soul mates, angsty romance, second chance at love… and I’ve been itching to write an angsty Max. I know you are a fan of soft and whump, so all those elements had a party in my heart and here we are. I really hope you’re having a nice holiday and a good time off. Happy Secret Santa, Arte. <3

What we’ve been told is that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes.

That’s almost correct.

The truth is…it’s not just your current life.

It’s all of them.

Max hardly remembers the fear, the pain, the cold of his draining. Even though he knew what was coming, bought into the cult, the human instinct of fight or flight is hard to dismiss no matter how well they’ve been prepped and it was to be expected. But it was a flash in the pan and once he came around to the undead side of things, those pesky human responses were all quickly forgotten.

For a time. Until he saw your light and–

Anyway. Human instincts. Pffft. Adorable. Trading the constant possibility of fear for that of glee, of rapture, of delight? Human instincts are trash. Not to mention their senses, poor suckers. The things they can’t see can’t hear can’t smell can’t taste? Tragic.

If only the feelings weren’t heightened too. It makes some things–some people–hard to ignore–

Feelings were something he could also have done without in his human life–the latest one anyway–and did whatever he could do to avoid.

It wasn’t until he died that he understood why.

As the life drained out of him and the delirium set in, there was a rushing sound, a pull through his soul like the drag of blood from his body, and he was laying, feeble, wailing, bloody and naked among the limbs of his mother.

But not the mother he so recently remembered, the one that showed her approval only when he provided her with some accomplishment worthy of crowing about to her society friends. No, this one was gentle, kind, held him and sang to him, lived her life for him until she died of fever when he was only five years old.

Max saw it all, from within himself and without, remembered the pull of his heart and watched the tears fall down his little face as they nailed his mother’s body in a pine box and put it in a hole at the top of a hill under a tree.

He always imagined he heard her singing to him in the grasses after that.

The world welcomed a new century, and not long afterward, he was a young man, looking to take over his father’s wine fields. But the chance was stolen when an archduke was shot. Max–Pierre, as he was called then–and all of the close friends and cousins he had were thrust into a great war. 

He was the only one to walk out of the fray. And when he came home, he found his father’s fields had been burned and that nothing remained.

That was a dark time. Ten years of looking back rather than looking forward. Ten years–it went by so fast–while he watched the world around him try to repair itself and find its footing again, not realizing that the roots of evil still grew beneath the soil.

He kept his head down and his hands working wherever he could.

But then he met a woman.

And she was Pierre’s life. Max’s life. Before he was Max.

It happened in the winter, just before Noël. And her name was Yaëlle.

Max remembered that before she even told him as he watched the story of this strange old life.

Yaëlle. It means “beautiful one.”

“It also means ‘goat,’” she’d said. “That seems more fitting.” She never thought of herself pretty, and perhaps she wasn’t fashionable and maybe she was stronger than she was dainty, with a weak chin and curly dark hair she couldn’t control. But the light in her eyes when she laughed–and what a laugh, like a little bird–the sway of her hips and the confidence in her carriage, her air of easy care and comfort caught his heart like a surly bear in the prettiest trap.

She’d simply been passing through the marché de Noēl, looking but not stopping, taking the kerchief off her head so the snow could land in her curls, when a child approached her selling buns in the shape of a cross and she gave the child a franc before sitting down at the statue of some cardinal or other in the center of the square.

She could have sat on any of the other benches, but she chose to plonk down next to Max. Next to Pierre.

“You want this?” she asked, offering the bun. “Not really my thing.”

How could she have known he was hungry? That he was lonely? That he was facing the market rather than the river because he was trying not to succumb to his inclinations, a pull to walk out onto the thin ice and let himself be taken by the stream?

He was instantly entranced by her. He felt himself smiling. Something shifted within. A destiny.

“You sure?” he asked.

She peered at him, scrutinized his whole self like she could see a glow around him and was looking for its source.

She found it in his eyes.

“Absolutely. I already ate three hand pies today. The last thing I need is more bread.”

He laughed for the first time in a long while. They talked. He ate.

On Christmas Eve when everyone was at the evening’s mass, she was there again, sitting alone, and this time it was he who had hot food and came to join her on the bench while the night was silent and cold and the stars were twinkling.

It was then that he learned why she was not in church–her folk did not observe Noēl. And she learned why he was not in church–he had lost his faith, that everyone he had ever loved was taken and there were not enough candles in the sanctuary to light for all of them.

“What if I lit one?” she’d asked.

“Who would you light it for?”

“For you. So you don’t have to sit in the dark.” When he was only silent, she said, “You fought in the Great War, didn’t you.” And when he looked away–when he shut her out–she continued. “My husband fought in that war. And he never could find his heart again. He said he loved me, but I don’t think he ever really did, not all the way. But I loved him all the way and when he put an end to his own life I thought I would have to do it too. Instead, I sat in the dark for a long time. It’s something I can see in a person. I can see you’re sitting in the dark.”

They stayed quiet for a time on the bench under the statue of the cardinal and when the church bells started to toll–signaling the magic of the empty square would soon be disrupted by the mass emptying into its streets–she stood and pulled her coat around her.

“My home is down that street, a little one with a red roof. It’s warm and I’ve plenty of hand pies--I made too many. I’ll leave a candle in the window until I’m asleep. You’re always welcome there, Max.”

And then she smiled and turned down the avenue where she’d pointed.

He blinked. Just before she reached the edge of the square he called out, “My name isn’t Max. It’s Pierre.”

She turned and gave a sly wink. “Good to know. I think once you get a belly full of my pies, you’ll let me call you whatever I want.”

He only sat long enough to watch the churchgoers file out of the holy service, many of them with people they loved, humming, happy, cheeks glowing in that way when one steps into a fresh cold world after being an hour or two soaking in the warmth. And once the square was empty again, he stood, gave only a fleeting look to the river, and then walked resolutely down Yaëlle’s street.

A little house with a red roof and a candle in the window.

He stayed for supper and came back many nights after.

And then one night he never left.

Max recalled the rest of that life with a lurking despair. While he couldn’t quite remember how it went, something in him carried it through to the life he’d just left…and he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was yet.

A few years of joy, of the greatest love he’d felt since his childhood. Like the mother he’d lost, another woman who was gentle, kind, held him and sang to him, lived her life for him until she couldn’t anymore.

They never celebrated Noël as the others did, but in their own way. For a handful of years they would go sit on the bench in the square and hand out pies to their neighbors and anyone who came to join them where they sat. They would listen to the singing in the church and watch the stars scintillate overhead. They would leave their shoes by the fireplace and wake up to find gifts they’d bought for each other with the little francs that they had. And they would never talk about what they would do in the future, because they knew it would be this and that’s all they aspired to and it would be a happy life.

And Max watched Pierre forget about the rot that still ran its roots through the soil.

And one day soldiers came to town when he was out in the fields and they took Yaëlle and some of the other dark-haired, joyful, bird-laughing folk about town and murdered them. By the time he returned for the evening, the soldiers had gone and left him nothing but a ravaged house and a body to bury.

There’s nothing he could have done, the mourning neighbors told him, the tide was rising. If he had fought them, they would have shot him too.

Pierre said that it would have been better that way.

Pierre stopped working in the fields when he started to hear his mother’s voice singing among the grasses again…now joined by Yaëlle’s sweet alto.

He had one more Noël in that life. He drank as much as he could take without falling over and stumbled out to sit on the bench in the square, weeping once the churchgoers had gone. He didn’t say a word, but Max remembered what Pierre was thinking then.

Love hurts too much. It is always taken. It’s not worth the trouble.

And then Pierre fell asleep on that bench and never woke up again.

There wasn’t much time between that first life and this one, maybe a few decades in the dark. Just long enough for a voice to reach him in the void–a voice he knew well and loved with his whole heart for only a short time–to say,

“That was a good first try, Max. Let’s give it another go, okay? Another place, another time, when it’s not so hard. I’ll leave a light on for you.”

____

Max’s life had been shorter this time. But he’d learned a thing or two and kept love at arm’s length. Sex was good and companionship was fine, but he wouldn’t invest in anything that could drain him in an instant and leave him destitute. 

Now power, that could fill the void. 

So when fortune smiled and he was given the choice, he swallowed hard and put his neck to the teeth, traded in his humanity for power that nobody could take away from him…and a heart that had no need for warmth.

He was wrong about that last point though.

And he didn’t even know it until he saw something that humans couldn’t see.

Heard something they couldn’t hear, a long ago and far away voice singing.

Smelled you on the wind.

Followed it to you–a woman, just another human woman–walking out of a bar along some street in the city.

And he saw a light glowing from within you.

You wore another face, another body, but all he saw was you.

Yaëlle.

Beautiful one.

He followed you that night, and several nights after. He was the reason that car swerved before it hit you, the reason you weren’t approached by that seedy guy at the club. He was the reason you kept looking behind you now and then and when you finally saw him–having dinner at the same restaurant, totally by coincidence, you on a friendly outing, him trying to charm a client into a contract–it broke his heart that you did not know him instantly.

He found he was surprised that he still had a heart to break. He’d been so fucking careful.

Max almost gave into the anger, the disappointment. Replayed the pathetic way Pierre let himself be brought down and tried to remind himself not to let himself be broken again.

But then he heard your voice in a way only those who walk in death can.

Let’s give it another go. I’ll leave a light on for you.

____

Heightened feeling is the one drawback of all this power. It’s one thing to latch onto a target, to fixate on some middle manager or accountant or IT specialist until there’s a good time to finally strike. That is an itch that can be satisfied with a well-timed, fear-seasoned, adrenaline-soaked kill.

But love sinks its fangs in and doesn’t let go. It sucks at something that can’t be drained, has no end, can never get enough. It can drive an immortal--a never-ending being of heightened existence--to madness.

There will come a day in the future when you’ll trust him for no good reason, when you’ll understand the monster he is and whisper under your breath against your better judgment, when you’ll invite him in. For dinner.

And he’ll come around again and again.

And then one day, he’ll stay.

And you’ll yawn ask him on the edge of sleep, “Why me? Of all these humans that you could easily enthrall and have without question, why choose this?”

Max will look at you in the darkness and see nothing but your light.

You won’t understand when he puts on a show of an irritated sigh and tells you, “You gave me another chance, sweetmeats,” but you’ll doze in his cold arms, absolutely confident as he is that nothing will ever hurt you again. Including himself.

And that night he’ll stay until you wake.

He won’t have you sit in the darkness alone.

_____

MASTERLIST

CHARACTER MASTERLIST

[arataka-reigen]

Winter Anime Review by Yours Truly 🍄🌻

This season I said I would not watch anything besides dunmeshi. As we can all see... that was a fucking lie.

In total I've started 10 anime (can everyone praise me and be proud of me for being a bit more tame than I was in the fall season? At least it wasn't 20 anime this time).

My reviews are something I make just for fun, and they 100% reflect my own personal tastes. I might give a highscore to shows other people would call absolute trash, and that's okay! To each their own~~ That being said, I do try to make it very informative to aid you in choosing what you might want to check out by adding a summary and a few content warnings along with the actual review.

A little preview: this season has some great romance anime with couples that actually do make progress in their relationship, which is kind of rare for anime couples, always on their "will they wont they" thing, so if anything, i would recommend picking up one of the romances this time around. (And dunmeshi. Watch dunmeshi.)

***This review will include exclusively animes that debuted this winter, so no 2nd seasons or continuing shows from the fall season.

So, without further ado, let's get into it under the read more.

Dungeon Meshi

Summary: Seinen, Fantasy, Gourmet, Comedy

A party of adventurers gets stuck fighting a Dragon even though they are starving and in no shape to survive. In a last ditch effort to make it out alive, mage Falin sacrifices herself to save her brother Laios and their party. She sends them back to the surface but gets eaten by the Dragon. Now Laios and co are in a race against time to save Falin before she gets digested. The problem? They don't have any money for food. The solution? DUNGEON MESHI!!! AH, DUNGEON MESHI!! DUNGEON FOOD!! JUST EAT THE GODDAMN MONSTERS 😋

Rating: 10/10

Review: if you've been following me for 2 seconds or less you already know dunmeshi is one of my all time favorite mangas. And the anime absolutely delivers. The animation is great, the voice acting is great both subbed or dubbed (the english dub AND the portuguese dub are worth it). The comedic bits hit so hard, and we're just at the start but you can already see bits and pieces of a larger and more dramatic story unfolding.

World building is insane. Character design is insane (everyone say thank you Ryoko Kui our goddess).

Not only is the story incredibly well written with no plot holes, the characters are also well fleshed out and three dimensional.

I could sing praises for it for hours, but then it would leave no space for the other shows on this list so I'll stop now.

But if you only have time to watch one anime this season, this one is it.

Content Warning: blood, death, necromancy crimes 🧟‍♀️

7th Timeloop: the Villainess Enjoys a Carefree Life Married to Her Worst Enemy

Summary: Reincarnation, Fantasy, Romance

Rishe is not new to the reincarnation business. This is her 7th time around. After being accused of crimes she didn't commit and having her engagement to the crown prince broken off in her 1st life she went on to discover that life is full of possibilities and adventures. But, after 5 years, she died. Only to find herself back at the moment the crown prince broke off their engagement. With each life she explores new countries and new possibilities, but in every life, after 5 years, she is caught up in the war waged by emperor Arnold Hein, and is killed. In her 6th life she dies directly by Arnold's blade and in a turn of fate she runs into him in her 7th life, catching his attention, and maybe his heart? Can she prevent her death this time around and finally live a peaceful life?

Rating: 10/10

Review: ah, we all knew the otome reincarnation was coming. This shit is my life source. That being said, even if it wasn't, I would still probably really love 7th Time Loop. It's just that good.

Rishe is a great main character, in all her past lives she was on The Grind. From being a merchant, to a doctor, to a maid, to a royal guard. And now she tells herself she just wants to chill, but this girl simply cannot chill. She is playing mind games with Arnold, trying to figure out what he is planning and how to stop the war from breaking out.

Meanwhile, Arnold is head over heels in love and probably so so full of trauma we still don't know yet. We must protect this dude. I'm very excited to find out more and more about him and what exactly led him to start a war against the world.

The animation is gorgeous, I love the way the eyes are drawn like constellations.

The romance is great and developing at a very nice pace, Arnold is very respectful of Rishe's boundaries for their marriage and overall just a really great guy.

CW: blood, death, kidnapping.

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

Summary: Boys Love, Adult Cast, Workplace, Supernatural, Comedy

Office worker Kiyoshi Adachi has gone 30 years of life without ever having his cherry popped. Due to this profound accomplishment, he gains the ability to read minds through physical contact. However, this new skill has only made his life harder and he now hates crowded spaces.

On the way to work, Adachi runs into his colleague Kurosawa, curious about what an outgoing guy like him thinks about, Adachi touches him and finds out that Kurosawa has a crush on someone from their office, looking further he realizes Kurosawa is actually crushing on him.

Rating: 10/10

Review: first of all, if you say "romance + adult cast" you already have my full attention. Add mind reading to the mix to make sure that the main character doesn't have miscommunication problems and i'm at the fucking table eating it up.

This show is incredibly funny, Kurosawa's thoughts about Adachi are always so sweet and/or horny and obsessed, but he is still just a super great guy with great morals and he would never do anything Adachi doesn't want (much to Adachi's surprise because he thought the dude was going to jump him anytime with how badly in love his thoughts are).

Adachi is straight until proven otherwise, and Kurosawa proves otherwise really fast. The pace of their romance is really great, we dont get ten thousand episodes of "will they wont they" and I really appreciate that.

CW: none that i can think of atm. Let me know if you have anything i could add here.

Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord

Summary: Otome Isekai, Fantasy, School

Yumiella Dolkness is a girl with dark hair and dark magic (characteristics associated with the Demon Lord) and for that she is feared.

When Yumiella was 5 years old she regained memories of her past life in modern Japan, and the game she used to play: Light Magic and the Hero. In it, Yumiella was the secret boss you had to defeat after the Demon Lord. Determined to avoid this fate she applies gamer logic to her life and begins adventuring in dungeons to max her power levels.

Now, 15 year old Yumiella is going to school, where she will meet the true hero of the game. She wants to avoid calling attention and just go through her school years without trouble. But when their power levels are measured in the first day of school, she is measured as a level 99 dark magic user and now even the king and queen have their eyes on her.

Rating: 10/10

Review: you gotta trust me on this one and get through the first ten minutes, I promise it gets so much better after Yumiella is really introduced. They just had to spend a few minutes doing a gag introduction, where you follow the game's hero before you find our beloved villainess. And it was very cool how the opening resemble a dating sim game opening.

Yumiella is great, one of my favorite female leads this season, and that is including frieren and maomao from the fall season animes that are still airing. She is not very aware of all the social cues and has trouble communicating and making friends, but we get to see her inner thoughts and they're always hilarious.

My favorite gag is that dark magic can be used for healing, but the healing process looks fucking grotesque so people would rather not be healed by Yumiella. For some reason that always gets me.

I really fucking hate the 4 hero characters, they're super annoying, but in a "i love to hate them" way, and I love seeing yumiella wipe the floor with their asses without even trying because she is just that overpowered. Most of the anime is just her trying to use just a tiny bit of her power because if she uses her full power people would just straight up die with a simple punch.

CW: blood

Yubisaki to Renren

Summary: ✨️Shoujo✨️, Adult Cast, Romance

(Summary stolen from myanimelist, sorry) Yuki Itose is a hearing-impaired university student whose world has been shrouded with silence since birth. She has lived in the same place her whole life, and rarely interacts with others save for her best friend, Rin Fujishiro. During her commute one day, she meets the silver-haired and multilingual Itsuomi Nagi, a mutual friend of Rin. Unlike most, Itsuomi is unwavering when he learns of Yuki's impairment; this, along with his experiences abroad, fascinates and touches her. After they part, her fondness of him starts to grow. A new world begins to open for both Yuki and Itsuomi as they learn about each other's different lives.

Rating: 10/10

Review: and here we have The Shoujo Of The Season. And it occupies that spot marvelously.

Yuki and Itsuomi are another one of the incredible couples of the winter season. Relationship developing at a very nice pace that isn't too fast and not too slow (like shoujo can be sometimes). Yuki is very inspired by Itsuomi, she wants to see the world and experience new things now that she got a glimpse into his life and realized how big the world is.

I specially love how cool, calm and collected Itsuomi always acts, but how his cousin, Kyouya, lets us know that Itsuomi is really interested in Yuki and just shows it in different ways, like the way his voice gets very affectionate towards her.

The animation!!!!! Wow!!!! So soft!!! So warm!!!! I love it!!!! I'm sure you'll love it too!!!

Sound design is also very good, it's specially interesting during scenes where we cant hear anything because we are on Yuki's point of view. I wish it happened even more often.

I've seen people compare this show with Koe no Katachi but they're very different shows, specially since we get to see most of this one through Yuki's point of view, while Koe no Katachi was not from the POV of the hearing-impaired character and dealt a lot more with issues like bullying and suicide. Yubisaki to Renren is a lot more light-hearted, soft, sweet and overall just a feel good anime.

I am always going to recommend shoujo. Specially when they're as good as this one is. So definitely check this one out.

CW: none that I can think of. Let me know if there is anything I should put here.

The Foolish Angel Dances with the Devil

Summary: Seinen, Romance, Comedy, Supernatural

The angels and the devils are waging a war. Things are not looking so good on the devils' side, so they send Akutsu Masatora on a journey to the human world, to find someone that can aid the demons on their fight.

Akutsu is assigned a seat next to Lily Amane, the cutest girl in class. But when he tries to recruit her to the devil's side he realizes she is not a normal human. Now he must deal with the fact that he is tied to his mortal enemy, an angel, and with the fact that he might be falling in love.

Rating: 10/10

Review: More like,, the foolish devil gets played by the angel.

Akutsu and Lily get into stupid mind games trying to make the other fall in love, all while realizing that "hey, angels/devils arent so bad after all" as they spend more and more time together.

It reminds me just a bit of Kaguya-sama how the main couple wants the other to cave first.

This show is simply hilarious, I was laughing out loud at so many stupid scenes. Some gags do get old a bit fast, but overall it's still going strong and makes up for where it falls short with how badly in love these two already are just a few episodes in.

I'm not sure we'll get a proper confession this season, but it doesnt look like these two will be stuck forever in the "will they wont they" stage like the couple from kaguya-sama.

CW: there is a scene by the end of episode one that is completely played as a joke that has one of the lead characters putting a collar on the other lead and the imagery was a bit disturbing, definitely leaning on non con bdsm themes, it isnt terrible, just felt a bit distasteful to me, but nothing big, i dont think it should deter you from watching this, but watch out for that.

Solo Leveling

Summary: Action, Fantasy

(Synopsis stolen from myanimelist again) Ten years ago, "the Gate" appeared and connected the real world with the realm of magic and monsters. To combat these vile beasts, ordinary people received superhuman powers and became known as "Hunters." Twenty-year-old Sung Jin-Woo is one such Hunter, but he is known as the "World's Weakest," owing to his pathetic power compared to even a measly E-Rank. Still, he hunts monsters tirelessly in low-rank Gates to pay for his mother's medical bills.

However, this miserable lifestyle changes when Jin-Woo—believing himself to be the only one left to die in a mission gone terribly wrong—awakens in a hospital three days later to find a mysterious screen floating in front of him. This "Quest Log" demands that Jin-Woo completes an unrealistic and intense training program, or face an appropriate penalty. Initially reluctant to comply because of the quest's rigor, Jin-Woo soon finds that it may just transform him into one of the world's most fearsome Hunters.

Rating: 8/10

Review: everyday that passes I find myself liking battle shounen less and less. This one is not bad, it is actually quite interesting, it's just not the type of stuff i'm into anymore, I guess.

That being said, if you're in the mood for it, this one if very interesting. Jin woo's life is now completely ruled by this game that allows him to level up, and he is getting a bit fucked in the head by it.

Animation is great, I love when his eyes get all shiny because you know he's gone Beast Mode.

Not a lot of characters introduced so far, but it's still cool to see Jin Woo leveling up on his own. I mean... a show named solo leveling has got to make sure that the solo aspect isnt boring lol.

For some reason tho I still gave it an 8, which is high, so... it's pretty good.

Jin woo is just a bit... generic i guess. Nothing you havent seen before from an isekai male lead.

Also... i miss his haircut from the earlier episodes, his current haircut makes him look even more generic.

CW: blood and gore, body horror, torture, death games. Big and scary god statue that smiles in a fucked up way and kills kills kills.

Drop Box

Animes I either already dropped for a specific reason or will probably drop in the future simply because I wont have time to watch everything I started this season, so among the 10 I started, these are the ones i'm least likely to finish:

Majo do Yajuu

Summary: Seinen, Action, Fantasy

Guideau and Ashaf are an ominous pair, working for a mysterious organization that deals with magic crimes. Guideau is a feral and unhinged girl/genderless beast with a curse she wants to break and Ashaf is her soft spoken and calm companion. They go from town to town looking for witches to defeat and trying to find the witch who cursed Guideau and get their revenge.

Rating: 7/10

Review: I do like this one, I just think that if it comes to it and I dont have time, I wont miss it too much if I never finish it.

The blood and gore are heavy, and that might be the reason why i'm fine dropping it, i'm not that big of a fan of gore.

Other than that tho, I find the two main characters extremely interesting and i want to learn more about them, specially Guideau and her curse and that crazy beast mode she goes on when she manages to put a pause on her curse sometimes.

CW: blood and gore, body horror

Gekai Elise

Summary: Reincarnation/Otome Isekai, Fantasy, Medical, Romance

(Again, stolen from myanimelist) In her first life, the renowned and genius surgeon Dr. Aoi Takamoto was Elise de Clorance, a villainess of noble descent. Elise's selfishness, insolence, and obsessive love for her fiancé—Prince Linden de Romanoff—led to the deaths of her family members and, eventually, herself. Only after being reborn did Elise realize the error of her ways and decide that, instead of ruining lives, she would devote herself to saving them. But a tragic airplane crash robs her of her dreams too soon.

By a miracle, Elise wakes up in her original body before her official engagement to Linden. Recognizing the chance to cherish her loving family and free Linden from an unwanted marriage, Elise wishes to use her advanced medical knowledge to continue down the path of saving lives. In a deal with the emperor, Elise is given only six months to prove that her true place is not on the throne, but rather with the wounded and ailing who desperately need her help.

Rating: 6/10

Review: I'd like to say I dropped this show for personal reasons, not because it is a bad show.

It is definitely not the best otome isekai of the season (7th time loop and Villainess 99 win by a mile), but it is quite good and has an interesting premise. The main couple didn't seem too promising or interesting to me tbh.

The thing that interested me the most was the fact that Elise's original life was as a noblewoman, her second life was as a doctor and then he got a chance to relive her first life and change the mistakes she made.

Unfortunately, I am a med student, and I simply can't watch medical related stuff without nitpicking it to hell and back. Mostly, I try to distance myself from medicine related shows because my life already revolves around it too much, u know. I just need a break from All That when I'm watching my silly little shows, so... i had to drop this one.

Also, the main character was kind of annoying, but that might just be me.

Anyway, check this out if you think it sounds interesting. I might not be the best judge of this one.

CW: plane crash, death, medical procedures, surgery

Gushing Over Magical Girls

Oh boy...

I'm putting the CW before anything else because this one is problematic and I don't want anyone acting like I didn't warn them beforehand.

CW: this is straight up softcore porn and the characters are all middle/highschool aged. The anime revolves around BDSM themes (so many and increasingly worse themes, from simple bondage to pain play, to age play and other stuff), and there is nothing more than that to it, all the character growth is about the characters becoming more and more uninhibited with their sexual preferences. Also extremely dubious consent for all of it.

This is just a hentai disguising as an ecchi. It's fully yuri tho. Small blessings lol.

Summary: Mahou Shoujo, Girls Love, Ecchi, Comedy

I'm tired already so this will be short. Utena is a girl obsessed with magical girls. One day she gets the chance to become a magical girl herself, however, she is fooled and actually becomes a villain. She is made to fight Tres Magia (magical girl group) and ends up realizing she quite enjoys inflicting pain against them.

Review: the animation is good, very clean, the boob physics is not all that bad (what. this is an honest review and the anime is an ecchi. i gotta talk abt the boob physics.)

It is indeed super funny and definitely unhinged.

Plot wise, it is pretty straightforward, girl likes magical girls -> girl finds out she likes to watch magical girls suffering and in pain and moaning (well, not only watch, she does a lot of touching too)

Do I recommend it? No. Am I having fun watching it? Yes, it is pretty funny if you're the type of person who can ignore A Lot of things.

I'll probably favor the other animes tho so this one is very likely to get dropped before the season is through.

Thank you for reading (if you managed to make it this far lol, although this list is definitely smaller than my fall anime list)

If there is any other anime you think I should check out this season leave it in the replies and I might take a look at it and update this review with it!

[mildmayfoxe]

big fan of your romance novel complaint posts (love to see a fellow hater living it up) but i’m also curious if there are any you would recommend? not looking for anything in particular, just would love to hear your thoughts as someone else with nitpicky reading habits and a taste for trash

ok hello. i left you hanging for a FULL week and for that i am sorry but i wanted to be able to have some time to sit down and type out a real answer to which the short version is YES of course there are several that i have enjoyed!! my disclaimer is that i almost solely read gay romance so if you are looking for lesbian or even straight reccs i don't have much for you (although i will put a couple at the end anyway). hopefully something in this list is interesting to you or at least interesting to someone else! links are mostly to goodreads. break bc i'm gonna write too much

-kj charles is one of my fave authors in this genre bc they're all pretty reliable and there's a ton of them. they're all historical fiction and usually there's at least one murder- she's good at keeping a plot going while developing a romance. often supernatural or magical elements. sometimes cults! i've read almost all of the books she's written and have enjoyed them all

-charlie adhara wrote a really incredible werewolf series that i loved, the first of which is the wolf at the door. this is one of the only series i've read which keeps the emotional stakes up through the whole thing & kept me interested in a relationship after it was established bc sooo many series get boring the second the leads get together. i actually read the first book of the spin-off series (a pack of lies) first which is technically possible but i don't recommend bc i was like "wow they're really throwing me in here. i love it" and then i read the first series and i was like "oh i was supposed to know all this stuff." but i actually liked the dynamic between that couple better and i'm suffering every day because the next one still doesn't come out til 2025 and i read it in 2022. also worth noting that this (the original series) is cops-ajacent (~federal special agents~) and one of the characters is really prejudiced at the beginning & imo doesn't have enough character growth before it's waved away but if you can ignore that it's really good. mysteries! werewolves!

-speaking of werewolves (i could suggest several but i'll keep it to two) tj klune's wolfsong ends up at the top of a lot of gay werewolf novel lists (i'm keeping tabs) and there's a good reason. i enjoyed it a lot. made me kind of sad which is always a good sign to me. the writing voice was very fresh and novel at first but i did find it a little grating by the end so i've put off starting the second book in the series (it's also about a different couple which was disappointing) but i will get around to it. i enjoy tj klune in general although his recent stuff has a very different vibe than this and lightning struck heart is very 2015 in a bad way imo

-bone rider by j fally is a standalone that really delighted me. the russian mob? aliens? vaguely western? possession? throuple? it's got it all. very fun

-ok speaking of westerns there's this other series called magic & steam (yes it's steampunk. sorry. it's very silly) that starts with the engineer. a federal agent is sent to a town to apprehend a ~madman engineer~ except he runs into an infamous outlaw in the process. and the outlaw is really sexy. and probably why i enjoyed the series so much. the series also keeps them apart a lot in a way that i enjoy- i love when things take a long time. it's ongoing so this is another one that i keep checking for updates on

-i've read a lot of stuff by nr walker and they tend to be VERY hit or miss for me but one of my faves is evolved which is almost pure smut. it's about a sex robot that gains sentience. what more do i need to say. she also wrote a three-book series about an amnesiac that made me cry cry cry. and her cowboy (australian rancher) series is pretty ok. i could go through a list and tell you which novels of hers aren't worth it and which ones are good; i've read most of them

-salt magic skin magic by lee welch was a big surprise to me. cool magic, good folklore, fairies in there too. historical. big kj charles vibes which makes sense bc she edited it. welch also wrote a book called seducing the sorcerer which i had more mixed feelings about but had magic in it that i think about OFTEN (the horses)- that one's about an imposing sorcerer and a rundown groom cum handyman. and they're in their FORTIES!!! 🥳🥳🥳 (i love when books are not about 23 year olds)

-another one with a magic system i enjoyed was magician by kl noone. this was the first book i read by this author and i liked it but generally i find their books are too "nice" for me. i'm in the middle of one right now that i started months and months ago that i keep trying to go back to and it's sooo rough for me. but this one and the twelfth enchantment are pretty ok

-emily tesh wrote a duology of silver in the wood and drowned country that i loved because i am suuuuch a sucker for a wild man/green man story. really good. haunting! evocative! kj charles has a green man story too which was actually the first thing i read of hers (spectred isle)

-i complained about the monsterfucker book i was reading a while back but despite that i will also recommend the series it's from: lily mayne's monstrous, which starts with soul eater. are they messy? yes. are they repetitive? yes. are the monsters usually disappointingly humanoid? yes. are a lot of them about the military? also yes. so we're starting off on a bad foot. but the world building is interesting and there's LOTS of kinds of monsters and most of them were pretty fun. the one i just read (#7) was the worst one of the bunch though imo. and i have problems with #6. but 1 2 and 5 were good

-ok i should do a quickfire round. honeytrap: about two enemy agents during the cold war. put it off for a long time bc i didn't love that but it takes place over a VERY long period of time which is always interesting to me. zero at the bone: about a hitman who needs to protect a witness to a mob hit. really strong start but fell off a bit in the middle to the end imo.

-you'll notice a lot of these have subgenres of like fantasy historical supernatural etc but here's some regular contemporaries. a lot of these are about sad guys bc those are my favorite. best laid plans: hardware store owner helps a guy fix his house. in the middle of somewhere: same author actually. guy moves to small town to work at a college. mr jingle bells: this is a christmas one. bad title. fake dating. part of the reason i think i liked it so much is because i expected it to be awful but it was actually pretty good. good emotional stakes. published 2021 but feels very 2014. ignore that part. work for it: i rated this five stars but actually don't remember much what it was like. i think they were both really sad which i love. give me big emotions and i eat them right up with a spoon. i should read it again

-OK now i've got some straight & lesbian options. talia hibbert's brown sisters series is good and cute. she also wrote work for it, above. the unhoneymooners is the first real Romance Novel that i read and it really surprised me because i had fun! previously i had kind of written off romance novels as not for me but this kicked off a reading habit that is still going strong (primarily reading romance novels). i read this in 2020 so it might not be as good as i remember. as for lesbian options olivia waite has a series that i enjoyed that's also historical, and a friend of mine really enjoyed delilah green doesn't care (but i haven't read that one myself). and while not really romances i will always be a sarah waters fan: you may recognize her as the author of fingersmith, which is the novel park chan-wook's movie the handmaiden is based on. if you haven't seen the movie or read the book i recommend both. her books are very dramatic lesbian historical fiction; they don't always have happy endings but they're all very good

ok i think that's the end! regular disclaimer that romance is generally not a genre notable for Good Writing so a lot of these are just things i had fun with or just stuck out in my memory for having fun conceits etc. i can't guarantee that any of these are actually good, especially because this is a list solely based on my own taste and bad memory. would love to hear anybody's thoughts and/or if anybody has recommendations for ME!!! this post took me over three hours to write! crazy!

[rarepears]

(Transmigrator Xin Mo: Part 2)

Xin Mo thought things had been going rather good so far. Its wielder had finally left the Endless Abyss and was beginning to learn how to use its power properly. It wasn’t even effecting his qi much, since it suspected that was part of the reason things went so poorly the first time around. It had interfered a few times though, as its wielder seemed to have picked up an unfortunate tendency to attract women this time around, rather than being sure of his one true love. A bit of pushing from sexual attraction to murderous rage (the two emotions were surprisingly closely linked in this wielder) and they were dealt with.

Xin Mo, new to self-awareness, had found itself daydreaming a lot, rather than merely awaiting the next taste of blood or rush of dual cultivation. It dreamt of a world where it was accepted as a spiritual sword, a blade that cultivators would aspire to wield but only be able to take up if they proved themselves worthy… rather than it being forced to accept just any wielder with sufficient strength that happened to come across the site where the last one died. Maybe they’d even let it keep eating souls, like that Xuan Su sword… lucky thing, Xin Mo thought with newfound jealousy — no one called it evil!

Due to this daydreaming, it missed out on where exactly its wielder was headed, right up until its blade struck against a spear of ice. Quickly pushing out its awareness, Xin Mo found its wielder in battle with a familiar ice demon. It remembered this one, even if its wielders anger was not as great as it was the first time it had watched his battle — odd, considering that this version of him seemed to be much angrier in general. The ice demon would become a valuable ally for its wielder, it remembered that much… perhaps it could help? But how?

It got an idea a moment later, when its wielder was sent flying down a set of icy stairs, and for a moment, among the anger he was feeling at the ice demon coldly looking down on him and preparing to attack… there was a flash of attraction. Xin Mo wavered for a moment, but it had recently discovered that for humans and demons alike, romance and sex could be separate things. And it remembered clearly the disaster his wielders first time had been before… wouldn’t some experience help?

Making the decision, it took hold of that spark of attraction and magnified it as much as it could.

-

Mobei-Jun looked down at the half-demon who had dared to challenge him. He’d shown promise in the fight so far, but was still weak enough to be thrown around with relative ease by someone of his strength. There was something in his eyes though… a burning determination to succeed no matter what that he could admire.

As the half-demon looked up at him, he saw something surprising — a flush appear across his face. He’d assumed that this was a challenge for authority, to prove his strength, or perhaps the half-demons rumoured cultivation background pushing him to fight the demons he’d been raised to hate, but with that look on his face, Mobei-Jun began to suspect he was more familiar with demonic culture than expected.

Could this fight between the two of them… be courting?

I love this so much like you can't believe. May I order 500k more words of this AU please and thank you.

Man, I have the Feels for Xin Mo. Forced to accept every trash wielder while there's Xuan Su allowed to snack on souls like it's an open buffet :' )

LOL Mobei Jun thinks this is courting!! But how will his feeling(?) for Shang Qinghua compare?

[More in #Xin Mo transmigrates into PIDW and decides to make BingJiu canon AU]

[yuikomorii]

Heya! In which of the boys route do you think Yui was broken/hurt the most?

I always wanted to know which would be the worst scenario (route) for like.. an avarage girl irl . I know most girls would not survive there😅 but just wanted to know your opinion which of those 6 doors you would never open. Or 13 if we count all the characters.

// Since it's an otome game, it goes without saying that there will be a lot of plot armor and that the love interests can't really harm the heroine seriously throughout the route, regardless of what she does, because the plot would go nowhere like that. Most characters are jerks but not really that hard to handle, since they were known for scaring Yui rather than letting her get genuinely hurt. However there were certain Diaboys who were very scary, as it felt like they had no feelings of remorse or empathy.

Laito:

Can’t say that his HDB route is the worst thing Rejet has ever written (because it’s definitely not) but it baffled me how he was so okay with Yui breaking like that to the point where she lost all her will to live and only wanted to be set free from him. I mean, she literally tried to commit and he was just there not even intending to stop her bleeding veins despite being the one who cut them?? It’s true that in the Vampire Ending she doesn’t turn out that bad but after all, this is just because it’s fiction.

Kanato:

He was easier to understand than Laito because at least you were able to know that he had a soft spot for sweets and Teddy. Nevertheless, it was a bit too much how he kept stabbing Yui with the fork and a few chapters later, I’m pretty sure he stabbed Yui with a knife in more places as well. Still, it’s surprising how she turned out worse in his route, considering the fact that in the afterstory she kills innocent people—

Kou:

I love Kou but he was a literal demon in MB. I really hated how he made his fans bully Yui JUST FOR FUN. It wasn’t even any sort of punishment, he merely wanted to make her suffer. Another thing I couldn’t stand was how he kept putting Yui’s life in danger, only to make her prove her love. I understand wanting to test someone but it would have been way better if he actually saved Yui after seeing her do something dangerous. That way it would have proved that he cared for her yet he continued to watch her get hurt for him over and over again, without feeling any empathy. He was sorta redeemed at the end but yeah, most of his route was big yikes, especially since you wouldn’t have expected a cheerful and friendly idol like him to be such a wicked person.

Carla:

I like the Tsukinami family's desire to preserve their lineage but sorry, I must say that I find it repulsive that a 17-year-old would be forced to become pregnant out of the blue with strangers. I understand that Yui was partially to blame for Carla's anger and subsequent dungeon scene but that moment grossed me out sooo bad. She lost her will to live but Carla literally jumped on a depressed girl and was on the verge of rap€ing her, if his Endzeit didn’t kick in. He gets gradually better throughout his route but this scene left a sore taste in my mouth.

Kino:

Look, Kino is a great villain and a lot of fun, but his LE route was trash. Kino killed a child, mistreated Yui, abducted both Yui and Ayato, planned to sell Ayato to the church for execution, manipulated Yui and tortured Ayato. The pain he caused them both was immense and although I appreciated Yui calling him out, it's so sad that she was brainwashed. While it's true that Kino can be quite cute when he wants to, their romance was so rushed and forced because they didn't give us any reason why Yui would fall for him other than manipulation when Ayato, who was seen to care more about her than for himself, was right there. I wish they developed Kino’s feelings better, given that he straight up blackmailed Yui to become his, otherwise Ayato would had been killed, therefore Yui had no other choice but accept the situation. That’s why his CL route is way better.

I only mentioned 5 instead of 6 but that’s mostly because no other character came closer to them in terms of bad scenario. The rest of them felt decent in their routes for a game called Diabolik Lovers, lol.

[a-vessels-thoughts]

Random Naegi HCs

The Naegi family are naturally good marksmen. Makoto has more raw talent in this than komaru does. This makes them, ironically enough, bad at baseball (their throws are too clean, too straight, and they don't have the raw strength to blitz people) but really good at basketball despite the height.

Komaru is stronger than Makoto, and by a landslide. Makoto is way more flexible, though, so at least he has that over her.

Both can't dance to save their lives. They're singers, leave their two left feet alone!

Komaru can't cook. She will make a fire with water. Makoto will make your kitchen look like a warzone. Everyone thinks the taste is worth the clean-up; it also looks really good!

Komaru is the first to notice all this and just sighs, muttering under her breath, "Isn't it supposed to be the opposite?" She's more jealous that she can't cook than anything. Was in a cooking club to learn before the tragedy.

Komaru calls Makoto Lil bro (as a jab at his height). This has made many people think she's actually the older sibling. There was an event with the future foundation, and komaru was listed as his elder. She laughed her ass off.

Komaru has NO charisma (the utter girl failure) Makoto stole it all. She talked her way INTO a fight with a pacifist by pure accident (both were trying to avoid conflict).

Makoto's talk no jutsu could almost count as brainwashing. Assassins after his head have learnt to plug their ears, because You Stand No Chance Otherwise.

Makoto is scared of fighting any woman, not out of a sense of honor or anything, he just assumes they can bend him like a pretzel (he's right, 9/10 times he's out under 5 seconds in direct confrontation).

Makoto only read manga because Komaru was into it, he's more of a... literally anything else guy. He liked some of the fluffy and Shonen manga the most.

Komaru reads BL (and yes, Makoto read some of them with her), and Toko Can't Stand It, literally has a No BL policy. Genocider and Komaru have a sorta book club over it. Could probably stop Genocider from committing any crimes (or drop anything she's doing) by saying Komaru wants to share manga recommendations.

Makoto is a complete malewife, cleans, cooks, does the laundry, is good at makeup if he ever learns, can wrap up wounds and scold you (gently) so well, but is utterly horrible at fashion. ("I can just... grab whatever, right?") He has no idea why Komaru is so smug that she has good fashion senses.

Makoto is super naturally cold, even with his shirt, thick jacket, and BLAZER combo he sometimes still feels cold! Could lowkey function as a refrigerator even in the summer. Komaru is the opposite. As kids, they were inseparable when sleeping and are cuddle monsters to this day because of it.

Makoto is naturally drawn towards caliginous colours. Give him all the edgy dark colours, they're his; black is probably his favorite. Komaru doesn't actually have a preference, as long as it doesn't clash when she wears it.

Both naegi's are really good at spotting romances and pairing people up... when it isn't themself. It's genuinely frustrating for others because they can call people getting together before it even gets platonic, but you could pin the naegis to a wall, whisper huskily in their ear before kissing roughly, and you'd have a 50/50 chance that they interpreted it right.

"Oh, we're just friends, why would they be interested?" -both naegis, despite literally raising children with their partners. Both are Actively at risk of becoming black holes.

Komaru is somehow an amazing and HORRIBLE mother. The girl failure energy is too strong. Her (likely adopted) children would trash talk her before they could crawl. It might've been Toko's doing, but still... trash talked by babies. At least the family is loving, and she would never lock any child in a closet... on purpose. 100% apologizes profusely if it happened.

Both are incredibly snarky. Makoto is way less obvious, and he rarely has the chance to be during/after the killing game, but Komaru is a ball of sarcasm and teasing after some therapy. Hina finds both of them bickering with each other and kind of short circuits. (They were both so kind normally??? What was this??? ) She can barely wrap her around the fact that this is their Natural State. Makoto decides to use this to his advantage by being sarcastic/jokingly passive-aggressive when people are least expecting it; Komaru lives for it. It catches even Kyoko off guard for the first few times.

Komaru is good at physics; Makoto isn't and hates it like any other maths related subject. He actually really likes history. Komaru sucks at psychology. Both agree that English sucks. Literature is kinda... there, to them. Both are good at chemistry, but for different reasons. Makoto has a great memory, Komaru is Just Good At It. Can also make it explode at will, for some reason??? No one understands why.

Makoto was gloomy and shy as hell as a child (also an outcast), Komaru was the brave and outgoing one. No one believes her when she says this, ever. (Even as children, people thought Komaru was older because of their dynamic and Makoto relying on Komaru way more than she did him, to outsiders).

Their parents kinda suck.

Makoto has broken several laws, got into fights, and was probably a vigilante at some point. He rarely talks about this. People don't believe any of it until he committed treason.

[olderthannetfic]

I've just read an article (in Gazeta Wyborcza) about a very popular series of books among young teens in my country, Poland, called "Rodzina Monet" (Family Monet). The author gained popularity while publishing on Wattpad lol. The article basically said that it's problematic because these books are read by young girls, even 10 years old, and it glorifies violence. Plus it just isn't well written - there were some fragments in the article and yeah it's not well written lmao. A woman in the comments said that her daughter is reading this book and asked if she should forbid it. Since no one answered her, I replied that I don't think forbidding the book is a good solution and suggested talking to her daughter about it, showing her the article and asking what she thinks about it. But I don't know anything more about that situation, for example how old the daughter is. I don't think I'd worry if my child were to read this book, I read trashy stuff too. But I started wondering if maybe there should be some control in such a case? The thing with the books from what I gathered (I haven't read them) is that they are about a 14yo girl, who suddenly lost her mother and grandmother, is sent away to US from Britain where she starts living with her 28yo (handsome) stepbrother and his 3 (also handsome) brothers. She lives in a beautiful villa since the stepbrother is super rich. He's also cold and distant and doesn't understand that she has issues with food (she has some kind of eating disorder). Some of the things he and his 3 brothers do can be described as domestic violence but they apologize, buy her expensive stuff and are all adult handsome men. Yeah it's a young adult fiction. The thing is that it's just not well written so none of the bad behaviours is commented upon.

--

Sounds like typical godawful id trash that people eat up. Making a rule against it will just make it more tantalizing.

It would be far more valuable to kick any worthless partners out of one's life and demonstrate not putting up with shit to a tween girl than to ban her from reading trashy books.

One could always try buying her something better, but IME, people who try that always do it wrong: they buy books that are better written, yes, but the vocabulary and sentence structure are a thousand times harder, there's zero iddy wish fulfillment, and the plot is something fucking depressing and supposedly edifying.

Readers can smell a tryhard "your taste is bad" gift a mile away.

I think it's also important when trying to find replacement trash to understand what the kink actually is. Why is it age gap? Well, have you seen 14-year-olds? They're awkward and covered in zits. Of course the protagonist is young like the readers and the hotties are older.

More importantly, why is it abusive? Absolute idiots will be like "Because society taught girls wah wah wah wah wah", but the actual reason is obvious if you've read trash romance for adults:

It's so the love interest(s) can be in the wrong.

The self inserty protagonist of this type of story has very little power. Not only is she usually younger, but she's poorer, a fish out of water in a new situation, etc. The way she gets power is by the love interest doing something absolutely horrible, realizing they have erred, and then groveling forever. Their guilt is an effective way to manipulate them. And yes, retail therapy is usually the next step from this particular trash classic all the way back to The Flame and the Flower.

You can try giving a teen girl a book about a teen girl action hero who is awesome and whose love interest likes her because of that... But if the reader doesn't feel awesome, she's still going to prefer a book about a loser with a destined, fated love or a misunderstood woobie whom other characters have to grovel to after not initially realizing she was special.

You can't fix self esteem by handing someone a book they don't identify with and telling them their id is wrong. And if self esteem does improve, that doesn't mean the lizard brain is going to switch trash fiction tastes anyway.

One can try leaving other fun books around, but that's about the most that could be helpful.

[jenyifer]

August September LGBTQIA book list.

Now quick disclaimer: I moved during this time. Very stressful. So maybe that’s why I have so many dropped and disliked books. I’m going to give these quick reviews in a specific order of would recommend to mehhh only if you are that type of person. I don’t give spoilers this is just a taste. I am lesbian who is 30 so that also colors my perception of these stories. Only going to include pics of the top 5 to drag you in for easy screenshotting.

Okay Let’s go.

1. Somewhere Beyond the Sea by Tj Klune 🏳️‍🌈👨🏼‍🍼👬🔥🏡⛓️‍💥 okay once again when I take over the world House in the Cerulean Sea and Somewhere Beyond the Sea will be required reading I didn’t think the follow up book to one of the best books in the modern age about feel good found family foster family could get any better. But I was proven wrong. The sequel gives you all you need. You can tell the author felt the pain of our world as he wrote this but the children and characters give those stories life. I cried I laughed. There is nothing quite like it.

2. The Spirit Bares It’s Teeth by Andrew Joseph White 🏳️‍⚧️💕😱🩸👁️🐰 You know what I am putting this one as 2 because despite it making me have countless panic attacks because I’m not fond of… gore? Horror? I adored this book still thinking about it. The romance is 10/10 T4T. I adored the mystery and intrigue. The main character is autistic and very anxiety ridden I can’t describe to you how this book will change you. Although approach with caution.

3. The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish Vol2. 🏳️‍🌈🐟🤴🏻🤣 mild 🌶️ on a completely different note the “IS THAT MAN IN LOVE WITH A FISH” is a treat that always surprises me with the amount I love it. Maybe I am trash crazy but I find this funny easy to read and in this second book we got even more time with the fish and his prince actually in human shape. The miscommunication trope is strong with this one but so is consent and romance. Idk I just fucking love it. I want the prince to become emperor with his fishy lover haha.

4. The Name Bearer by Natalia Hernandez 💃💐🏳️‍🌈👩‍❤️‍👩💜💜 Okay quick disclaimer here the book is an classic style fantasy journey it is slow. However I really loved how beautifully thought out the universe was it’s a latinx woman forward book. The romance is not the point but it feels very natural which I appreciate. Main character might even be ace spec. There are great side characters. I really love the apprentice wizard but WARRIOR NUNS!!! Hehehe also things seem to be not what they seem which is always cool. I’d definitely suggest this to any fantasy lover.

5. Grandmaster of Demon Cultivation the comic vol 1-3 🏳️‍🌈👬🪄🪦💀🫏necromancer evil wizard is reincarnated into his nephew’s body years after his death. Or is he evil? Or is he 🏳️‍🌈? Hahah yes he is. Anyways in the present he’s finding the consequences of his actions while his…. Love interest is going to make sure nothing happens to this version of him. You slowly get the past. I find the comic is the easiest way to consume this fantasy story. Yes there is anime, book, and a Netflix series and a new Japanese manga is being released but I like this one. 🤷🏻‍♀️

6. Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire 💜🪦🚪 about a school for those who come back from other universes and long to go back. Main Character is probably ace spec. Very interesting fantasy book for someone who consumed a lot of fantasy as a child. Thought it was also very thoughtful book. I had fun it’s not super surprising or new ground but I enjoyed it for a quick read.

7. Spell Bound by FT Lukens 🏳️‍🌈🐈‍⬛🧙‍♀️🧑‍💻 well it’s YA. Out of the other FT Lukens books I semi enjoyed this one. The characters are still dumb as rocks and the setting could use some more fleshing. But it’s okay. For a fun quick read that semi reminds you of urban fantasy? It’s good. The side ship found family was a little forced but I enjoyed the side characters.

8. Psalm for the wild built 💜🍵🤖🏕️ it’s a chill cozy book for people who are over worked. I’d say if you want scifi it’s not. It’s closer to fantasy. Very short and preachy.

9. Casefile Compendium vol2 by Meatbun 🏳️‍🌈🩸🌶️🚩🔍🐉🥼 Danmei Murder mystery modern times age gap. Does have 2 chapters of non consent and absolutely off the wall opinions about the medical industry.

10. Otherworldly by FT Lukens 🧚‍♂️🏳️‍🌈🥶❄️ YA familiar escapes fairy world finds a skeptical person decides they’ll def fall in love and make a deal. I listened to 50% the characters are intensely idiotic and just…. So so so blind. I couldn’t do it. The skeptic is a person who moved to the city for their family but they do stuff for their family without really caring for them I’m just not buying it. The familiar is infact a psychopath or so low iq he doesn’t care to live or feel or observe anything in 5 years. So so so stupid. Omg.

I had several DNF

I made my parents listen to Ocean’s Echo by Everina Maxwell in my mission to make my parents less homophobic. My mom enjoyed it. My dad said it was way too gay. 😩 man I wish it was way too gay.

What am I reading next? Hummm idk yet. Suggestions are always appreciated!!!

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Another year, another Dear, we are Now Presenting...

The masterlist for my 23rd birthday game! Honestly, when I announced this event, I really didn't expect the reaction I got. It's been a little over a year since I started running this blog, and you guys have made it such a fun year. I feel so thankful and so lucky that you all enjoy my writing. consider this my gift to you 💙

Kento Nanami

A Flight Away

After the death of your best friend, Nanami give you a way out. Prompt: angst/comfort "We'll Burn Those Bridges When We Get There."

Green Eyes

This party is trash and to top it all off, you just showed up with some strange guy. Nanami isn't gonna like this one. Prompt: Jealousy, "Isn't Your Boyfriend In The Other Room?"

Alien Jellybeans

Nanami had no idea what to expect when you moved from the states back to Tokyo after only two months away, but he couldn't be happier with the reasoning. Prompt: Hopeful, "Is It Mine?"

Suguru Geto

Sparkle Boys

Suguru may not agree with your taste in movies, but he agrees with your taste in fictional men even less. Prompt: Humorous, "It's Because I'm Not A Vampire, Isn't It?"

Bedfellows Ft. Satoru Gojo

One bed, three idiots. What could go wrong? Prompt: Humorous, "What Do You Mean There's Only One Bed?!"

Last Chances

A smutty one shot about reuniting with an old flame, and all of the heartbreak that comes with it. Prompt: Pining, "It's True Romance Is Dead, I Shot It In The Chest And In The Head."

Satoru Gojo

Hold Still

You're angry. At yourself, at the world, at everything. But you're physically hurt right now, and that's all Satoru is worried about. Prompt: anger, "Hold Still, You're Hurt!"

I'll Be There

After losing everything and being banned from Jujutsu Sorcery, Gojo assures you, he'll be where ever you are. Prompt: Stressed, "Well don't just stand there, do something" And "They don't deserve you"

Jailbirds Ft. Nanami Kento

It's 3 am, and Satoru just got a call from inside the jail. Prompt: Funny, "You Landed In Jail How?"

Ryomen Sukuna

Deserving

Ryomen has never been one for love, never one to crave romance. Now that he finds himself feeling these emotions, he has no idea how to react other than with violence. This one is dark. Prompt: Mean, "I Love You And You Don't Deserve That."

Healing Waters

Sukuna tries (and fails) to relax in a hot springs, that is until his favorite concubine shows up to entertain. This one gets spicy! Prompt: Funny "You Seem Thirsty, Want Some Water?"

What's The Difference?

One the way home from a party, you start to make some connections about your boyfriend, and he likes none of them. Prompt: Funny, "Oh Fuck You're A Demon, Aren't You?!"

[rkivestation]

Those Eyes Ch:2 ||KTH

»chapter 2: Connection access (Masterpost)

»ratings:pg-13

»genre: romance,fluff,angst,smut (might add some if requested later,or else,it has non rn)

»summery:it's a mystery how two pair of eyes finds solace in each other when they are strangers and when they are not. can they solve the mystery their eyes behold and explore beyond the horizon of their workaholic life?

»wc: 4.0k

Your eyes flicked open,startled by the voice.

"The heck, why are you here?" the grumble within your tone radiated nothing but annoyance as the owner of the voice not only ruined the moment but also yelled at you,hoe?

"Because ma'am we are running late. Don't tell me,you planned to sleep off the whole day?" the same voice said calm yet angrily.

You looked at the clock as it showed 12:30 and then you shift your gaze to her with a tsk still lying on the couch eyes half open,"Yeah? So what?Its not like we are going any-" you face palmed jumping from the couch and sit up as realization hit you.

"Shit,I totally forgot,"you sheepishly smile & scratch your back.

"Now you are awake sweetie" Auri flashed you a thin smile. Silence before storm,"Now get ready in twenty minutes before I kick you to Antarctica!"

You look at her in annoyance as you drag your body to stand up. "Hey, sleepyhead!" a loud voice startled you as your eyes shifted to the other side of the couch,"Jae-ah? Why are you here?"

You felt a smack on your head as you yelped rubbing the aching area, "Thank her. She cleaned your dirty ass room which's been a representation of a trash bin,for I dunno, maybe the day you rented this apartment?" Auri decided to get on your nerves today.

"Sassing are we? You need to pay me for ruining my so realistic dream. Do you know how dreamy that dream was. I had my-" you started fangirling over your enchanting dream but got cut off,"I have no interest in listening to your perverted dream specially when we are running late. And dreams are supposed to be dreamy my love." she is really in a mood of sassing with you.

A blush crept on your cheeks as you realized what would happen next with him if you didn't get woken up.

"Kim Auri. For the love of God,it wasn't perver-" Auri threw a towel on your face as your voice got muffled before you could finish.

"Make sure to wash all your sins too sweetheart" she cooed.

"It wasn't a wet dream!"

sort of. but she doesn't need to know that.

You stomped your feet whining as Auri and Jae-ah chuckled seeing you pout like a baby. "You did moved a bit,you know-" Jae-ah shifted her gaze on you nervously fiddling her fingers awkwardly, "-oddly" she flashed you a eye smile.

You scoffed throwing the towel on your shoulder,taking steps towards the kitchen.

You didn't even utter the main evil's name yet the evil is right before you handing you a cup of coffee which was very much needed after all this mess as you entered the kitchen yawning, ruffling your messy hair, "The entry code was too easy to not barge in" she piped,mouthing a half hearted 'sorry'.

You rolled your eyes not even surprised as you sipped your coffee. Gosh Mirae made the best coffee.The sweet taste lit up your mood but the mixed of bitterness came after making you realize something, "Don't tell me, shin-"

"Hey sweethearts,I thought its better if a beautiful girl like me heads with you all?You might even get some free passes." you had no doubt who that screechy voice belongs to.

Mirae glanced at you with an uninterested face , "Speak of the devil." she pointed nonchalantly with her thumbs pointing to the door shrugging. You also tried to avoid the high pitched sounded woman roaming all over your house.

Its even worse than your house getting infested with rats,you swore.

"What a nightmare of a voice" Mirae scrunched her nose sipping her coffee. "Nightmare! How can I forget to tell you?" you excitedly yelled startling Mirae.

Thank God she was finished with her coffee,"What? You had one? What's so exciting though? Isn't it supposed to be scary?" she frowned.

You couldn't stop squealing at the thought of him. "No,I had a dream. You won't believe,I had my-"

"Ouch,let go,what the fuck?" you suddenly felt a sharp pain in your left ear as it got pulled by none other than the devil Auri Kim. "I told you to make it as quick as possible.But you're still not over your stupid dream talk." she scolded as her voice almost got your ears feel numb.

"My oh my, look at you Y/N,you haven't even properly brushed your hair, correction, you didn't brush your hair at all, you're not planning to go like this, are you? you scoffed at Shina, struggling to run from Auri as you glanced at Mirae with a 'help'.

Mirae chuckled coming between you & Auri, "Auri,let her go. she just woke up its been only five minutes!" Mirae glared at Auri playfully.

"No its been seven minutes!" Mirae rolled her eyes over Auri's strict time maintenance.

She turned to face you with a strict smile,"And you.I will never say no to your dreams and I'm eager to know what happened cause you seem a bit too excited than usual" she smirked as you smiled widely;you knew she would never say no to your anything.

"But now is really not the time.We have the whole day for this but we don't have even half an hour to get ready,so sis you needa hurry up." you pouted as she looked at you apologetically.

"fine.."

-

"I didn't walk all this way for shopping Shina."

"Oh c'mon,it's gonna take less than twenty minutes,I promise" she pleaded to Mirae who had her hands folded against her chest with raging anger. "Listen,the more we get late-" Jae-ah tried to calmly state but got cut off, "The less fun we can have!" Mirae yelled,finishing.

"I totally agree with her.It still will take ten minutes to reach that peculiar amusement park. And if we spend twenty minutes here it will take a total of thirty minutes. Oh my gosh and then it will take a solid ten minutes to get all our tickets cause of it's a holiday. And then each rides take approximately-" Auri was cut off as she felt a pat on her shoulder,

"It's okay, breath Auri-ah" you laughed as she finally exhaled. "Bro Seoulmusement ain't peculiar,it's beautiful and fun,mostly mysterious & mythical."Mirae scoffed as Auri rolled her eyes.

"Listen.Shopping is fun.Slow down there.We have a lot of time.It doesn't matter if we waste some,right? Look at all these discounts!" Shina squealed smiling fondly but coughed nervously as she got no response from her friends. So she had to go all 'sweet Shina mode'

Mirae felt two hands snaking from behind towards her shoulder, "They're selling the best brand of edgy cloths and accessories with them are free!" Shina cooed smirking; she knew what can temp Mi. You had to scoff at how Shina went for her next pray as if she is the predator here.

"You don't wanna lose the chance of buying the latest shoes in half prize do you? Also I heard they are giving branded purses here." She whispered as Auri gulped,eyes glowing.

"And," Shina clapped gaining Jae-ah's attention,"Jae-ah you wanted to buy some branded makeup items,right? This is the right place,I swear." and Jae-ah had to be the first to enter already,almost running.

"Er.. just twenty minutes k? What do you say Auri-ah?" Auri nodded slightly looking at Mirae as she couldn't leave Jae alone. She had plenty of edgy clothes so Shina didn't really temp her but she let it slide.

Shina looked at you, "Oh yn-ah you can-" you cut her off placing your palm between you & her, "Sorry but you can't tamp me" you smiled and looked at the other two, "Let's go,make it quick" they all laughed uncomfortably sensing your distaste as they entered.

As you were entering you saw something crash at the narrow area beside the huge mall, almost unnoticed. You decided to shrug it off as you were going to push open the door but another loud thump was heard. Loud enough for you but not for the busy people walking on the street.

You felt curious & concerned as your legs led you there, "Is anybody there?"

It only felt creepier as you stood in the middle of that small narrow path. It was so silent unlike the noisy street and it felt chillier here.

"Is anyone in trouble? Should I-" a large body collapsed with yours as you both fell on the ground behind several abandoned blue plastic drums.

"Ouch..hey-" it took some moments to get your senses back as you yelled at the huge human who apparently seems to think it's funny to play ninja games?

Ninja games yes; cause he was hiding behind the big drums, holding you tightly against his chest.

"Miss I'm sorry but don't talk please,I'm in a mission" you had to scoff at this 10 y/o brain.

"Mission? Mister I'm literally dying from a headache? You don't even know how to apo-" he pressed his palm on your mouth letting go of his hold as your eyes met with his for the first time.

"You're so talkative. I'm fighting with life and death here" he whispered lowly as he quickly averted his gaze.

Eyes concentrated on the street before him anxiously fear written on his face.

You could not think straight the moment your eyes met with his.

Mesmerizing beautiful eyes. Unrealistic yet so real. Any earthly word is not enough to describe it.

He had a plain black mask on so you could not quite make out his face. But his eyes gave it all. Those eyes. It had to be. You just knew it.

"Look." There's a hint of urgency in his deep baritone."I'm so sorry for dragging you here, although you chose to be a curious cat. But I really need to go. So, bye." He shook you breaking your trail of thoughts as you looked startled and almost red for the undying thoughts and his little logical accusation. Before you could properly utter a word,much less defend yourself,he was already out of sight.

What just happened?

-

You didn't lose your way back to the mall but you sure as hell nearly lost your mind and didn't even know what you were doing,"The hell why are you pulling the door? It says push it." You got startled looking at Mirae with a 'huh..uh' look.

"Oh my, don't tell me all this time you were pulling it?" Shina tried her heart and soul preventing herself from laughing but did she really.

"Oh gosh you look so pale!" Mirae panicked. "Yet feel so warm! How?Wait fever?" Auri gasped placing her palm on your forehead checking your temperature.

"Best shopping ever" a cheery Jae-ah exited the mall but her face fell looking at your horrible state,"Did something happen? You look like you got haunted by some ghost?" She cried.

"Hey,what's the matter? Did something happen? Where were you!?" Mirae shook you once again looking disturbed.

"A lot" you finally uttered looking at her with your widened eyes.

.

"So you're telling me,you were oh so lost into his eyes for you to recognize his actual face?" you swore to God you never saw Auri talking so loud and add sarcasm all these years; its much of something Mirae would do.

Whatever this that Auri was having fun with got on your nerves. She was enjoying it more than anyone expected. Making fun of you and all the things that happened today.

She glanced at everyone laughing so hard that tears glistened at the corner of her eyes as she glanced at you once again, "And you bumped into the same guy?Is this your Disney world? " She threw her head back laughing holding her belly tight.

"I said it might be him. And Auri Kim aren't you being too much? Hallucination & things like pre-recognization exists.They are scientifically proven; you believe or not nobody cares."you snapped not believing how she is taking her jokes so far. "Yeah for dreamy girls like you it might be. Like c'mon y/n-iie-" 

"Enough Auri-ah,you are being too much. It can be true. There's always fifty percent chances of everything becoming true if a person strongly feels it. Its true or not I'm loving it! Its been decades y/n & i haven't talked like this. So don't dare to come between us. Since morning she is trying to tell me all this but everytime you are laughing it off! Like this isn't funny to me anymore. She is now a grown up & her words carries the same weight as ours. This jokes you're pulling are actually turning very much disrespectful. If you are not interested just sit there zipping your mouth shut until she is done with her story,alright?"

Mi finally huffed a long breath after finishing up realizing how maturely she handled the matter. You chuckled seeing her heart swell with proud.

Auri gulped already shutting her mouth. She realized she was overreacting.You weren't surprised nor mad honestly because you knew this is Auri Kim,your soulmate. Who else right?

"I'm so sorry. I really shouldn't have gone this far. We all have our own imaginations and thinking. I shouldn't have questioned yours. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it that way. I really am sorry y/n." Auri pouted looking at you and you sure as hell already melted for her cute face as Mirae was smiling proudly.

Auri apologizing is rare but genuine which both of you respected her for. 

You chuckled,"Of course I wasn't mad in the first place!"

Auri let a sigh of relief placing her palm on her chest,"Thank God I can't see my soulmate being mad at me for even one second.I love you!"

Her sudden cuteness made all of you chuckle as you all shoved another spoonful of ice cream in your mouth. It has always been like this with her. No matter how mad you both get and no matter how many silent treatments you both end up giving each other in the end you both miss each other.

Today was so fun despite all the mystical weird things happening to you. Although you got the best friends in the universe who absolutely made you forget all these disturbing events during this whole time but the memories kept coming back. Yet you told your brain a 'not today' to not ruin these rare moments.

 You sure as hell was a dreamer, not loving the reality that much but when reality included your best friends and fun you couldn't but put it first despite the fact that every little details of those moments made you think of it. When you guys went for the roller coaster ride Mi was so shocked how you didn't even flinch for once as you were so in your thoughts. You really did feel like any of your muscles didn't move an inch. 

You knew these are nothing but overthinking yet you couldn't help but smile at those memories which is still so freshly present in your brain. You legit felt his touch when you were getting ready, you felt him smiling the whole way to Seoulmusement & you felt so lost for that bloody hell boy that bumped into you. It has to be him.

You couldn't stop thinking that to but again it can't be it's just the dream that controlled your brain for too long and you saw those eyes in the masked boy. You decided to take it that way to convince yourself and not look anymore crazy. But again you bumped into some other guys as well yeah the clumsy girl you are; but you didn't feel the same at all. You didn't even feel anything at all. 

Mirae seemed to have the same theory as yours about this whole thing & she was very much excited about it when you & Mi walked the whole way to Seoulmusement leaving the others behind as they weren't interested; you could be so talkative when it came to telling everything that happens to you everyday. It's just how you love to share your thoughts about the little things that happens & takes you to another world of thoughts. Auri absolutely loved that side of you,so did Mirae. They loved how you look so cute letting your thoughts out to them. 

You couldn't fix the puzzles of all these yet. This is so saddening how you can't remember any other thing of both guys or maybe the same guy other than the eyes. You sighed taking another spoonful of Ice cream as the cold feeling hit you & a loud voice pulled you out from your trail of thoughts,"Hey, Y/n what do you see in my eyes? Are you psychic? I'm so curious for real I swear! I mean how about we test you!? You must have some incredible powers? I mean who knows right." Shina laughed ignoring Mirae's whole speech she gave just a sec ago absolutely getting on your nerves as always. 

"For once act like an adult will you?" Mirae snapped.

You could see that she didn't enjoy how everyone is treating you. You smiled at her, "It's okay mi I'm not bothered, you know these assholes were and will forever be like this."

Mirae laughed a historical laugh as the others pouted except Jae-ah who looked so deeply in her own world as she suddenly clapped her hands in the air,"You know what, this whole dream thing can actually be true? Like I had something similar to this! I saw a hand-"

"Shouldn't we already head for the maze?" Mirae announced standing up from her chair completely ignoring the copy cat sitting beside you as you had to scoff at Jae-ah too.

Everyone one around the table let out a groan throwing their heads back. "Oh please what's so fun in there? It's nothing but a never ending path with thousands of ways,I ain't going!Auri whined.

"Thousands? Miss there's just eight different paths! And that is what makes this game interesting!" Mirae argued excitedly.

"Game? what is so game like there? Huh!? It's just a way of getting lost in a park like a 2 years old kid. It is a headache finding the way back."Shina fought back.

"That is why it's called 'maze' okay? It needs brain. And guess what? You don't have one." Mirae sassed losing herself as she felt heartbroken pouting & turning at you & Jae-ah. 

"Um..Mirae-ah I love how wild & free you are but this idea seems a bit well uh too wild,tiring and you know uh what I mean" Jae-ah sheepishly flashed Mi a smile.

You weren't very much fond of her idea as the last time you guys got out of that hell after sunset. Even the memories haunts you and you know all feels the same except Mi the wild & free girl of course.

But you didn't want to turn her down & make her upset after all she has ever done to you. So you felt determined to sacrifice, "Um yea-" and you couldn't thank the power high above more as you felt your phone vibrate in your purse.

You excused yourself pulling your phone out checking the caller ID. You jumped from your sit squealing like a five years old, "Oh my God!"

Auri grinned at your sudden cute squeals, "Who's it? S-?" Mi with sudden awakwardness roughly held Auri's  arms stopping her as Auri yelped.

Clearing her throat she asked chimming,"Who? Who?!" without thinking twice of her weird behavior you squealed further, "It's dad! I haven't heard from him for so long,I can't believe this." 

"Bish pick up and stop flashing us those bunny smiles! I'm melting"Mi yelled pretending to get attacked putting her palms on her heart. You chuckled at her picking up the call excitedly,

"Hello dad,I missed you! It's been so long,how are you doing?How's your health!?-"

"Good God, y/n ah-"

"How's mom? Are you guys doing good in busan? It is so hot in busan right now? Isn't it? Does the Ac work alright?Mom isn't overworking, is she?"

"y/n ah calm dow-"

"Oh and how's Aiden? He is still that naughty kid, isn't he? I'm sure he gets in trouble time to time? It wasn't something too big,was it? Oh and dad? Dad? Hello?

you checked the connection and found it well secured.

"My daughter is still the spritful human being huh?"

he suddenly chuckled from the other line making you release a sigh of relief. 

"You scared me!"

"Why? you thought I died huh? well that is very much possible though when someone hears you talk non stop"

"My voice ain't that scary!"

"Not at all. It's too beautiful to be scary. I wanted to hear it for so long. I still remember how your voice drifted me off to sleep every night . Those beautiful memories are so majestic yet so short."

"Hey dad,now I didn't tell you to flatter me & make me cry. I already miss you guys an awful lot! Will you tell me how are you all already?"

"Everything is just fine here my daughter, don't you worry at all.Your mother can't stop telling the neighbors how much of a genius and intelligent professional her daughter is."

"Not surprised at all."

"Aiden seems to respect you a lot. He wants...same path...d-d...id"

"Dad? Hello?" you checked out the connection as it showed weak network.

You were really eager to hear about Aiden and the weak connection was getting on your nerves. With a groan you slapped the screen.

.

"Please just this once. It's so fun! Why are y'all suddenly being such grumpy lazy aunties?" you looked at your friend trying to convince everyone around the table for you don't know how long.

But none of them seemed to  move a muscle at Mirae's plea. You checked for the connection pacing back and forth around the cafe but no sign,not even a little. Sighing you went back to your table, "Guys the connection here isn't stable. I'm gonna head out for a bit to get some network access. Go on." you sympathetically grinned at everyone but mostly Mi seeing her struggle. You mouthed an 'its okay' to her before leaving.

You went for the exit,walking fast and holding your phone close to your ear as you tried calling him again. As you were about to pull the gates a firm hand pushed it at the same time. You stared at the silver handle for a sec thinking how you were going to embarrass yourself by pulling it when it says 'push'.

You looked up at the person who just opened the door thinking it might be the security but rather it was a tall enough guy face completely hidden behind a mask and a cap. 

You could faintly see his long eyelashes resting on his cheeks as he looked down at you. His black mask hid half of his face and his long cap hid another half. His brownish locks were slightly touching his eyelashes trying to hide them too. His clothes were casual although you had no intention of checking him out. He was wearing a plain black T-shirt under his half red & half black jacket. All oversized.  And maybe casual navy jeans.

Goodness he isn't mysophobic, is he? You were so stunned at how he protects his face. He can't be an Idol, is he? Whatever his reason is you had no mood to judge. 

Connection access. You reminded yourself. Just as you were thinking to let him step out first you saw a hand gesturing you to step out first almost in a 'lady first' manner as his other hand held the handle preventing it from closing. You slightly looked up at him as you stepped out bowing your head , "thanks" and hurriedly tried to call your dad again. It was ringing as you let out a sigh of relief. It was the fourth ring but he wasn't picking up yet and you took that moment to admire the pinkish sky above you.

It was cloudless yet splashed with purple and orange hues in between. As if the pink sky let her friends make a miraculous portrait on her. It looked so peaceful around at this time.

Everybody went to the nearby cafes to take a break after a long bright fun day. Your eyes roamed around the area filled with lovely colorful flowers and large trees filled with leaves giving you spring vibes. And just as you turned your head the other side you saw the same guy scrolling his phone just beside you. He seemed to have the same problem of network as you saw him struggle placing his phone close to his ear and then again tapping on his phone aggressively. He looked so familiar yet unfamiliar now that you see him so closely. 

Could he be- No. Y/n don't go insane again. You'll end up being a clown.

Your eyes couldn't stop but roam on his navy jeans and the first thing you noticed is the shinchan key ring hanging loosely with several keys on his belt chain. You squealed inside finding your shinchan mate yet chuckled outside seeing how gorgeous he was looking with it. The belt chain made him look ten times hotter yet the key ring made him look so adorable.

You averted your gaze before he caught you staring, smiling to yourself. See dad! I'm not the only one. As if your father read your mind from Busan to Seoul he picked up,

"So? Do you still watch shinchan?"

You were so surprised & shocked at the same time for asking you about the thing you were thinking just now teasingly.

"Yah! The first thing you ask is this? Can't you just ask why the call got cut!?"

"What is there to ask about? It can happen! Now answer me? Do you still watch your idol?"

"Of course I do. He is forever my inspiration. I learnt a lot about life for him."

You felt the guy turn & tilt his head slightly to you as you blushed. Please don't listen.

"Yeah whatever you say. My daughter is rebellious. Never will win."

"Now you know"

"A..y..wa...s, Ai...de..n said he...wants..to..y..o.."

Why does this bloody network have to act like this whenever dad talks about Aiden.

"Hello? Dad? Hold on.Let the connection get better" you walked faster stepping out from the small yard of the cafeteria going forward where your feet was taking you to.

 .

He had to remove his other ear phone too now to hear your voice clearly. It was better than the song he was mindlessly hearing. Your voice was something he craved for decades it seemed. It sounded excitingly beautiful and soothing.

He couldn't but stare at your every movements amused as you were excitingly talking to your father. He was feeling frustrated when he didn't get a better connection and chose to leave yet the girl beside him was the same one who he opened the door for smiling to himself at your cuteness. He decided to stay for some more time as his mind told him to admire you.

Stupid you don't even know her. You're just here to get the goddamn network access. 

Yet he could not control himself from melting for you cute smiles,laughs,frowns,grins & chuckles. He found you every habits cute including the foot stomping. He loved the way you talked to your father so dearly as if you missed him for so long.

Earlier he was amazed seeing you admire every little details of the nature around. He could see it in her eyes how she didn't miss a single detail. The sky above sure looked mesmerizing but he was busy admiring the art before him. Still now he can't stop capturing her every details with his eyes and saving it in his heart. He couldn't understand why he felt so drowned neither he wanted to understand. 

The frown on your face was back as the connection went weak again. Funny how his mind was urging to bring her the strongest connection of the world just to see your face light up again. Just as you were leaving, something dropped from your shorts pocket. Without thinking much he called for you,picking up, "Miss!? You dropped something! Hello?"

He called for you but the dreamy girl you are, he knew you won't hear him. As your only motto for now was 'getting the connection back'. 

He stood up picking up the neatly folded handkerchief as his smirk grew wider behind his mask eyes slightly squinting tilting his head, "Is this why you were staring at my pants so dearly miss? So shinchan didn't go underrated after all huh?"

He smiled again running to find the beautiful owner of this plain white handkerchief with shinchan's famous smiling face printed on the corner of it. 

.

You can win a marathon. You run when walking so what do you do she when you run. Probably drive yourself? He thought thinking how thoughtless he sounds. He is confident about which way you went but there was no trace of yours. He could see a silhoette coming from the right turn as he followed the path. Turning he saw you far from him still unable to reach her father. 

"Miss!You dropped this!"

Finding it of use he ran again as he saw you enter some garden absent mindedly. Without thinking much he finally reached infront of it too about three minutes after you.

Needa workout again boy! 

He breatheheavily holding his knees for a second and entered the garden too, totally forgetting his important call.

Wait but is it really a garden?

next

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

June 2023 Wk 3 

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - There sure is a lot of drinking in this show (who am I to talk?). Omg so awkward: The not-break-up not-confession. I have heartburn. Also I could not watch Jeng break down. Just nope. Then time jump? If that was our DOOM episode the timing is off. Or next week is the final? Or we get 3 eps of domestic bliss and sexitimes? I’m confused. 

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 9 of 10 - I like how trope-subversive this show is - first soulmates, then love triangle, now the faen fatal. NO SINGING. Oh good. They didn’t! Yay! So yeah I still love it. But I am also still a touch scared of where it might go. This one can’t be trusted. 

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 5 of 12 - not a bad ep this week or was I too drunk to register nuance and damage? You decide. Trash watch here.

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - I always have to psyche myself up to watch this show, because I want to fast forward through most of it, but it’s on Gaga so that’s damn near impossible. At least this is the penultimate episode. I think after 3 BLs I can safely say Gun is just not a good actor. Speaking of... crying clothed in the shower? I haven’t seen that trope in years. But I LOVE the high school boys and their story so much. Love Sick level of earnest floppy goodness, I’m such a sucker for this kind of romance. I want them to be in a completely different BL. I’m so conflicted. I NEED this show to end so I can decide how I feel about it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love Tractor (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 8 - So much is happening, evil x-boyfriend shows up. We got flashbacks to coming-out drama + nasty dad (super unusual for a KBL). But baby’s first taste of desire is hilarious. This one is full of lovely contrasts, and contrasting life experiences. It’s all about support and neglect. 

Tokyo in April AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - Very much full of hero worship and giving me My Beautiful Man vibes (only softer and office set). “Dazzling” = always an interesting word when it comes up in JBL subs. It’s clearly a Japanese word/concept like kawaii  that is more complex than the English word being used. Meanwhile, this being Japan we get lots of hints as to separation and dark past events. 

Tie The Knot (prev Under the Same Sky) (Pinoy YouTube) eps 1-2 of 8 - From OXIN Films (Rainbow Prince), based on a true story (?!), Briggs's family runs a bridal business but he has never fallen in love until he meets a groom to be in an arranged marriage. EXACTLY the same premise at Mame’s forthcoming Wedding Planner. There are so many characters and prospective couples (including a v bi girl with a female fuck buddy, not seen that in a BL before) that it is a little hard to keep straight (heh). I’m sure it will shake out. It’s intriguing so far, if a touch silly. I actually like the arranged marriage premise because the two rich kids involved in it are so weirdly kind & platonically sweet to each other, even if they’re both on the same page about it only being for show. 

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 7 & 8 of 12 - Apparently there is very little difference between a cat and a demanding princess of a boyfriend. That clocks. Basically this was the dating times. 

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - There is a lot more meat to this silly little BL then I thought there would be given the premise, but it’s Japan so that’s as it should be. But, as it’s Japan there’s also a little too much cringe for me. I do enjoy how generous Japan is with late bloomers and I would def like to host a kimchi party  but otherwise... meh. 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 3 of 6 - Bi erasure still alive and well I see. This one remains fine for VBL but no more than that.

It’s airing but ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly in English and set in LA so I’m not bothering but the first one did drop.

Ever After (Pinoy YouTube) - I investigated but as spies reported it's a real mess (not a hot one). Don’t bother. 

About Us but Not About Us (Pinoy Prime?) - from 2022 supposed to be finally getting inter distribution, didn’t show in my territory. A professor grieving the loss of his partner meets an ambitious literature student. I’m not fussed. 

Stay With Me ... NO! 

In case you missed it

What Did You Eat Yesterday movie, BL Express posted a review. I’ve yet to get hold of it but if you enjoy Our Dining Table this is it’s grown up parent series & movie. 

Café in Love - I finally got around to watching this. And frankly it hits all the tropes but is so damn bad. The setting is cute, the central brotherly relationship is sweet, the side cast is v queer (baby gay has all these auntie queens catting about) and some complex bisexual awakenings but… but… everything else is a chemistry void. Some fun language wordplay and exploration of cultural tropes like cheek kissing does not save it from an unnecessary amount of punching  and a but ton of sexual harassment and statutory rape. No thank you. I had to rewatch Destiny Seeker to get over this. 3/10 

I gave up 

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I? Apparently it finished. I still can’t find it but it’ll be off this list next week.

Why You (Khmer ????) - Billed as a horror romance, not sure if this is a movie or a series where it aired... nothing except that it exists.

Next Week Looks Like This:

3 BLs are finishing but nothing is starting up. We running lean these days. 

Just started today (Sunday): Dinosaur Love (Thai iQIYI) Trailer 10 eps - from Ultimate Troop about a uni student, Rak, whose partner cheats on him with Rak's best friend. This gives bad boy hazer Dino an opportunity to hit on Rak at last. From The Yearbook people so I shouldn’t watch this as it airs. After Remember Me? I swore never again with them. But there’s so little on right now, I might fall on the pulp sword. 

I’ll include it in next week’s summation. 

I’ll have the July 2023 upcoming for you next week too. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love him, Your Honor. (Be My Favorite... HIM, he’s my favorite.) 

I love them, Your Honor. (Luminous Solution) 

Watch a tiny GL ship set sail across the seas of overly optimistic tumblrs... (La Pluie)

MY PRECIOUS! OMG I LOVE HER SO MUCH. (Tie the Knot) 

Incidentally, I would like a future as a dictatorial elder queer running a slightly shady business fleecing the straights via their dumb marriage traditions surrounded by nubile half-naked hotties.

And ya know what? I think this is achievable life goal for me. 

Gotta go, I have a future to plan. 

(Last week.)

[lord-squiggletits]

Idk if my previous posts were unclear but I don't remotely hate any Optimus version that isn't IDW or think they suck. Every Optimus is good and there's a fan (or multiple fans!) of every version of OP no matter how obscure or underrated (as well as all the other characters).

What's more questionable (or at least annoying) is when fandom ignores canon character personalities in favor of writing specific archetypes that are either out of character or repetitive/stereotyped to the point of annoyance. As an example of this, it would be a female character being called the Team Mom just because she's a woman existing in a group of (primarily male) characters even if she's not remotely motherly or nurturing. Or, as a more topical example, how often I've seen Transformers ships where even though both characters are canonically masculine (or gender neutral), fanartists love to turn one of the characters small and weak (or even outright feminine) to turn the ship into Strong Dominant Seme and Sweet Cute Uke to fit a specific kink or romantic fantasy, even if it's a disservice/OOC to portray those characters like that.

In other words, a fandom's popularity of certain characters, ships, headcanons, etc is often more informed by tropes and forcing canon to adhere to one's personal tastes, as opposed to approaching canon and trying to understand it on its own terms. I'm not talking about the quality of the source material, but rather the way that the fandom interprets the source materials in ways that don't make any sense, approach it in bad faith, or just generally don't care about canon at all. So I'm not saying one OP is better than another, my problem is when fandom consistently focuses on certain stereotypes or flanderizations of a character, and then any character that doesn't fit the popular (often stereotyped) mold is ignored or virulently rejected. In other words, I think popular fandom often does a DISSERVICE to characters whether they love them or hate them, it just takes different forms.

So, just as an example, I think one fandom caricature of Optimus that I see a lot (and heavily dislike) is making Optimus some sort of shrinking wallflower type who's innocent, sweet, and virginal, in contrast to an opposite caricature of Megatron that's big, strong, dominant, and rugged, and making ship art that forces the characters into some kind of seme/uke or borderline heteronormative romance. Despite the fact that canon Optimus (in, say, TFP for example) is tall, broadly built, deep voiced, dignified, assertive, and strong (physically and morally), completely incorrect interpretations of him as a shy feminized uke type are still pretty common to find. And it makes you ask yourself why it is so many people make MOP ship art of them of The Small One and The Large One or The Small, Cute One and The Big, Violent One when it's completely different from canon. It feels as if such fanart is made by people who just want to see seme/uke style slash ships, and if canon doesn't give them what they want, they'll simply trash it and replace it with their own version, even if it's completely OOC.

So when I said in my other post that people don't like IDW Optimus because he can't be fit into caricatures like happy dad or shy twink, I'm not saying it to say "other OPs who resemble that suck," I'm saying it to express "Fandom tends to simplify characters into easily palatable and comfortable tropes, and when they encounter a character they can't do that with, they respond by ignoring or even hating on that character."

Other versions of Optimus have the problem where fandom turns them into a stereotype instead of the actual character they are, e.g. portraying TFA OP as some poor abused damsel with no self confidence and crippling anxiety being abused by his superiors, and then they talk more about this fake uwu smoll bean cinnamon roll version of TFA OP than they do about actual canon TFA OP. And honestly I can't think of any prominent content/meta about G1 OP that isn't just "he plays basketball and does funny one liners and is Team Dad/Grandpa." (Hell, you even get that with non-Optimus characters that get simplified to just sexy twink, old grandpa, comedy relief, evil ex, Diversity Win-- She's A Lesbian, third wheel to the favored ship, etc even though there's way more depth to them than just their surface level stereotype.)

IDW OP's problem is that he can't be stereotyped like that so instead the fandom ignores him. He's not small, so they can't stereotype him as a skinny twink getting topped by a burly uke. He's not jovial or happy go lucky or extroverted, so they can't stereotype him as Team Dad or Comedy Relief. He's assertive, blunt, and has a temper, so they can't stereotype him as a shy wallflower in need of protecting. He makes catastrophic mistakes and is responsible for bad things happening, so they can't stereotype him into a sweet cinnamon roll who has never done anything wrong in his whole life or The Infinitely Wise and Kind Paragon. There's no Big Bad Authority Figure who was mean to IDW OP and traumatized him, so they can't excuse the bad things he did as "he's traumatized so he couldn't help it" and wave away his flaws as "it's his abuser's fault, they made him this way." IDW OP has the kind of depression where he's grumpy, shut off, and angry-- as opposed to the shy, sad kind of depression that just stares forlornly out of the window in a beautifully tragic way-- so they can't make him into a sad woobie kicked around unfairly by life.

Or I guess they just stereotype IDW OP as "evil bastard with no redeeming qualities that's mean to everyone for no reason, plus the writers forced everyone to like him just because he's Optimus Prime" even though that isn't accurate either.

Put bluntly, IDW OP forces fandom to contend with the idea that someone can be a good person with good intentions but still fuck up on a massive scale and maybe end up hurting more than they helped. IDW OP is messy, ugly, flawed, mean, stoic, closed off. When IDW OP has mental breakdowns or has his feelings hurt, he's loud and angry and harsh, and the consequences of what he did while he was unwell continue to haunt him long after. In other words, he actually experiences negative emotions the way a real person would, and sometimes when he's under the influence of negative emotions, he lashes out or does stupid things (like a real person might) instead of inoffensively crying in a corner somewhere. He isn't sanitized enough for a fandom that only wants Perfect Pure Good Optimus Who Never Hurts Anyone Even By Accident, so instead of IDW OP's mistakes and dark moments being treated as the logical end point of a person put in constant no-win situations until he breaks, he gets treated as if his mistakes and flaws make him an irredeemable bastard with no good qualities who should've fucked up less often to make fans actually like him.

And this is all in a fandom where 90% of the characters are war criminals and a good half of them have massacred organic planets. But god forbid IDW Optimus ever make a bad decision in a stressful situation. Or be mean to someone. Or have a character arc about how blindly idolizing people as paragons ends badly for everyone involved because no one can be that perfect. He is simply The Worst Optimus Ever and there's absolutely nothing about him worth discussing.

And just to be clear, the problem isn't the fact that some people don't like IDW OP, or he's just not their thing and they don't care.

The problem is the fact that he's consistently and actively hated by the fanbase who makes a concentrated effort to say he sucks and make sure none of their fan works ever include him. It's literally at a level where I stopped looking in the Optimus tag on this website because I was tired of people randomly going "and btw IDW OP sucks and I want to drown him in a ditch" in posts that weren't even about IDW, and I stopped looking for MegOP fic on AO3 because most of it is IDW Megatron/clearly TFP or G1 inspired continuity soup Optimus. Places that are Optimus friendly for Optimus fans, where I could reasonably expect to find positive conversations, but instead get sucker punched by hate about the character The Space Is About. And I can't even have conversations asking about why they do, bc the way 90% of them talk, I can tell they literally just didn't read the comics or deliberately misinterpreted the story.

I find it bizarre and frankly, tragic, that the hate train for IDW OP is so pervasive that people actively erase and replace him from fan works IN THE IDW UNIVERSE in a way that no other character is targeted in. I have tried so hard to understand why IDW OP gets this sort of hate and erasure when other characters who were as bad or worse than him have perfectly normal takes about them that go "yeah he kinda sucks but he's cool and I like him" or "who cares if he's problematic IRL, it's a story." The only conclusion I can come to is that because Optimus Prime (TM) has a specific brand image and is locked into being a cultural icon, he's held to a standard of The Ideal Perfect Hero instead of the way better standard of "Is he an interesting, well written character?"

[saturnine-saturneight]

OC deep dive tag!

Thank you to @fortunatetragedy for the tag!!! [here]

I need a little jumpstart for Matcha's voice for this next chapter, so I'm digging this two week old tag out of my drafts x)

Phobias: She pretends that it's spiders, because she figures that screaming at those and making other people get them for her makes her look more harmelss. She honestly doesn't mind them that much. Her actual fear is trypophobia.

Other fears: Being taken too seriously. Tripping over her words.

Pet peeves: Recalcitrant people who won't let her pry into their business. Open up. C'monnnn. It's just her! :)

3 items you can find in her bedroom: Romance novel, eyeliner, burner phone.

First thing she notices in a person: Approachableness, even before attractiveness. She's generally good at gauging how open somebody is to friendly interaction.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is her pain tolerance? 2 or 3. She doesn't like getting hurt.

Does she go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Fawning first, then flight mode, and only when those two don't work, fight, but more like a cornered mouse trying to bite.

Does she come from a big family/is she a family person? She has two older brothers, one older sister, and a sprawling web of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. She liked the family get togethers and misses them, but she doesn't miss everybody getting into her business. She has her own family now and sometimes wishes these two parts of her life could meet, but knows this can never happen.

What animal represents her best? Opossum :V She, too, likes to play dead dramatically, panic and hiss at everything, and dig through other people's trash / dirty laundry.

What is a smell that she dislikes? She's pretty tolerant to bad smells. A good trait to have in her former line of work.

Has she broken any bones? She broke her ankle running a few years ago. It still bothers her.

How would a stranger likely describe her? I'll let Nat do us the honors:

"On the other side of her face, a thick curtain of her hair is falling into her brown, cat-like face. It’s thick, pin straight, and dull looking, and where it hits her waist, split ends are starting to form. Nat eyes her thin wrists. She looks straight up malnourished, or perhaps like she hasn’t done physical labor a day in her life."

Is she a night owl or a morning bird? Night owl, though she's often forced to wake up early.

What is a flavor she hates and a flavor she loves? She loves the taste of coffee and hates fermented things like sauerkraut or kimchi, though she likes pickled mangoes.

Does she have any hobbies? Matcha no longer has a lot of time for hobbies. She doodles in the margins of notes often, though.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How does she react to surprises? Freeze with shock. Then: Squeal with joy. You thought of her? That's so sweet!!

Does she like to wear jewelry? Her ears are pierced in multiple places, though she's taken the majority of her ear jewelry out. She likes the look of chokers, usually simple and black, and wears bracelets sometimes.

Does she have neat or messy handwriting? Curly and pretty when she knows others will see it, jagged and quick in her own private notes.

What are the two emotions she feels the most? Dread and longing.

Does she have a favorite fabric? She likes velvet, silk, and mohair :)

What kind of accent does she have? She has a pretty standard North American accent. She's a second generation immigrant, her parents immigrated from Mumbai to the former US during the second bio engineering boom in the mid 2170s, ten years before she was born, give or take. So she grew up speaking Marathi at home and American English and Hindi in school and with peers.

Tagging:

@paeliae-occasionally @rotting-moon-writes @marlowethelibrarian @fortunatetragedy (get retagged >:) ) @fairytaleinagem

@writingrosesonneptune @davycoquette @the-golden-comet @gioiaalbanoart @chauceryfairytales

@autism-purgatory @lychhiker-writes @marquis-of-writeblr @cowboybrunch

[sarifinasnightmare]

Nighttime Stroll

Rating: For Everyone

Pairing: Sarah X Bucky

Author's Note: It's just fluffy.

Summary: Bucky and Sarah take a late night stroll through the French Quarter.

July 22- 28: Night Out on Town

“You know I’ve always wanted to do this.” Sarah said as she walked hand in hand with Bucky down the middle of the street on a humid New Orlean’s night.

“What? Walk the French Quarter?” Bucky guessed, they had spent nearly the whole evening in the area, visiting the museums, the shops, having dinner, then hitting the bars for drinks. Bucky couldn’t get drunk, but he still enjoyed the taste. Sarah, he discovered could hold her drink very well.

“Walking the French Quarter at night….late at night, when most things are closed and some of the tourists are gone.” She clarified. “Usually it’s too dangerous to be out like this, but you make me feel safe.” She squeezed his arm, leaning into him.

He took the moment to kiss her temple. “Thanks, babydoll.”

They walked around in comfortable silence avoiding the remaining promoters who pushed customers into their neon lit bars. There were still some people inside, drinking, laughing while jazz mingled with pop music. All the shops were closed, very few restaurants remained open, trash littered the floor and there were barriers where construction was underway.

Bucky glanced over at a house now converted into a bar. “I get that these businesses bring money, but it’s a shame that a lot of nice houses aren’t just…you know, homes.”

“French Quarter has always been an expensive place to live and after Katrina and gentrification it just got more expensive.” She lamented as she looked around them. “When I was little, I would dream about being a grand lady living in one of those fancy houses. Once when we were staying in one of these hotels with the lovely balconies and I sat out there and waved like a queen to the people below.” She elegantly lifted her arm to demonstrate.

He grinned. “Is it a coincidence that your room at home has access to the balcony?”

She gave him a sly look. “What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart.”

“You want me to climb up to it one day and knock on your window with a bunch of roses?”

“Oh, Bucky don’t tease.” She said even as she blushed at the very idea.

“I’m not teasing,” he assured her, “I would do it in a heartbeat.”

“You’re such a romantic.”

“Nothing wrong with romance.” Suddenly he picked her up, spun her around and waltzed with her in the middle of the street.

She gasped, then laughed, allowing him to take the lead. “You can waltz??”

“A little, so can you.” He said as they danced around.

“I remembered a little from my cotillion days.”

“Cotillion?”

“A party where all the girls wore pretty white dresses and danced with boys in tuxes in front of our community. It was supposed to celebrate our womanhood. Frankly we were just all excited to look fancy and meet some cute boys.”

“Did you meet a cute boy?” He asked.

“Mm-hm, my husband.” She revealed. “He planned it too, that devil. He was supposed to dance with Lisa, but he asked to be switched so he could dance with me.”

He laughed. “Smart guy. He’s a man of good taste.”

“Wasn’t he though?” She agreed. “I will always remember the first song we danced to.”

“Yeah?” He sighed. “Would be nice if we had some appropriate music for us.”

Suddenly a guitar player who had been closing up for the night spotted them and began to play.

“Huh, how about that.” He smiled, nodding at the gentleman who nodded back.

“Don’t you know French Quarter is full of magic?” Sarah grinned as they slowly danced around.

“Well consider me a believer.” He replied before giving her a kiss.

They danced until the music ended, then Bucky gave him a large tip in thanks. The guitar player was collecting his earnings and was putting his instrument back in its case when someone walked past him. The player gasped.

“Hey! Give it back!” He hollered, touching his back pocket before running after the thief who quickly sprinted.

“Stay here.” Bucky told Sarah before taking off after them both, moving with a quickness that was startling.

The guitar player stopped at a corner, shocked. “Wha- How does he run like that??”

Sarah smiled innocently. “He’s…gifted.”

“No shit!”

There was the faint sound of a scuffle that ended with something, or someone, getting shoved violently into a trash receptacle. A few minutes later Bucky jogged back with only a light sheen of sweat on his face. “Here you go. Sorry about that.”

“Nah man, it’s cool. Thanks!” He replied amazed, taking his wallet. Once Bucky turned back to Sarah, the man silently mouthed out, “Is he an Avenger??”

Sarah would’ve loved to be honest but subtly shook her head. “Done playing hero?” she said before they resumed their walk.

“Hey he played for us. It’s the least I could do.” Bucky shrugged. It seemed like no one else noticed what happened. The lampposts gave out their ember glow, the bars still had their neon lights and music still played on.

“You’re very sweet you know that?” she teased, giving him a small kiss on the cheek, then she winced a little. “I loved this night walk, but I think I’m done for the night. My dogs are barking.”

“Here,” He picked her up, carrying her bridal style as he walked with greater purpose back to their temporary abode.

Sarah held onto him. “I didn’t imply that you carry me the rest of the way, you know.”

“I know, but I rather like it.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned over. “My hero.”

Bucky said nothing just smiled and walked them home, leaving the magic of the French Quarter behind.