#I started working at 8 am

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[commandertartarsmoocher]

"Gay Is Okay 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇩🇪"

[spikeisawesome456]

I finished! Ha, it's nice to see the end result of the last four days of hard work, especially since I wasn't sure if it would turn out well or not. But! Not only did it turn out so, so nice (IMHO), but it turned out so much better than I ever expected!

For those who couldn't tell, I decided to customize a Funko Pop into Ciri, from The Witcher (based on her design from The Witcher 3 game), using a House of Dragon Daemon whatever his last name Funko I saw at Walmart. It was a little tricky to change the design over, and I made a few mistakes that I had to roll with (for example, her sword is purposely broken since I had originally tried to make it longer, it broke accidentally, I couldn't get the dried milliput I used off, so I decided that instead of sanding it, I would embrace it and make it purposely broken, ha), but overall, I'm happy with how it turned out!

Let me know what you think! This is the... fifth? Funko I've customized, and I think that I'm getting better at it, ha. ^-^ I've never been the best at sculpting, especially small things, but I'm getting there. The braid almost did me in, but I think it turned out really nice in the end. ^-^

[ellsieee]

Love For Love's Sake ended up going beyond fluff and really had something to say about love and learning to be kinder to yourself. I was a bit worried if they'd be able to stick the landing given the whole game vs real world aspect, but I think the ending was uplifting, sweet, and most importantly, made sense.

Can we get a spin off where we find Sangwon a boyfriend so he can stop third wheeling? 😂

I admit I was a bit disappointed he didn't end up with Kyunghoon.

He's so salty. 🤭 I love this little gremlin.

[rowanisawriter]

i know for a fact that maybe 20 generations ago i was a monk in an abbey that brewed beer for the other monks and also helped shave their heads like that little patch of bald on their heads i would help with that. i just know it because whenever i imagine myself in an abbey i can almost feel the cold in the air and it smells different from how cold smells now, you know when its winter and you can smell the winter and how it smells different from fall. So i know i was there and i know i brewed good beer too. and i would be the best at praying also

[lafseanchai]

AITA for asking my roommate to get her shit together and put her dirty dishes away??

Okay. This is what I text her today, cuz at the begining of the week, I told her, AGAIN, that leaving dirty dishes out overnight is a big ick I have, as we have a dishwasher. And it was the only big house rule I asked for since day one. But this morning...

"(Name.) I just asked you the other day not to leave dishes in the sink overnight. And yet there was a bunch of dirty dishes in the sink this morning.

And then there was dirty pan on the stove. And the stove dirty with overboiled pasta water. And the pasta wrapper left on the counter. And you had clearly gone into the clean dishwasher but did not unload it and reload it.

I am just frustrated and a bit disappointed. I am not asking you to do even 50% of the housework. I will even take the trash and clean the main floor bathroom if you can get your dirty dishes put away.

I know that ADHD makes it hard and I totally understand bad brain days, when you have bad brain days at least tell me or mention something. Cuz at this point is feels like you're being careless and disrespectful of the shared space and about the only house rule I have, and I have expressed from day one. Dirty dishes go in the dishwasher and do not sit in the sink overnight.

I bought a little whiteboard that I can put up with a bit of a chore chart again, as it would be more visible than the printed chore chart I made initially.

But at this point, I do not trust that to help a lot, though I am willing to try it if you are.

The last time I talked to you about this, you said you'd talk to your therapist about tools and ways to help you remember, but I am still having to remind you about taking the trash out; if I don't, it doesn't get done. Same with the dishes.

I don't want to have to nag to you do these tasks, as you are an adult, but if I do not give you reminders, it just doesn't get done. Or I dk remind you, and it still doesn't.

I don't want to be mean or harsh, but I am just very frustrated by the dishes thing especially. I have said from day one that is all I asked of my roommates to do, and it is something that does not get respected.

And honestly, I am working a lot of hours and am physically tired, and I know you have limitations, but the fact that you are at the house so many more hours a day than me and even the basic tasks can't get taken care of is so exhausting and frustrating.

I don't know what else to do or say.

Unfortunately, I will be at work literally all day today, a d won't be home until 10pm and I will not have the energy to do a face to face talk tonight.

I am willing to have the conversation here, or plan for it on Saturday. Let me know what you want to do."

Like, I know she's AuDHD, and young, but 22 is certainly old enough to be able to put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher yes? She's been living at the house for like 6 months now, which you think would have been long enough to at least start figuring out some systems and tools to help.

Am I being a bitch? Expecting too much? Being too Neuro typical/ableist?

Any advice? Cuz the next step is telling her she's paying $20-$50 more a month in rent to make up for the fact I am cleaning up after her.

[sunlitpath]

The standard rule when it comes to messages from the gods is “mundane over mystical” and I try to stick to that (considering a had a period of spiritual psychosis in 2022, yikes).

As such, if something happens that could be a sign, I take it as a “could be, could be not” view. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced something so blatantly obvious till now.

I am currently working on an animation project for my thesis, it’s set in a world where Hellenic Polytheism is the norm. It’s not the main plot of the project btw, but it’s mine so I don’t shy away from obvious signs to the gods. I’ve dedicated my writing and the project altogether to the Muses and Apollo Mousarkhos.

I- haven’t finished it

Life got in the way, I found an excuse to push it for one semester and have been ignoring my team for a few weeks now. Not my best move, I’m aware, I’ve just been overworked and scared of messing up (what better way not to fail than postpone, am I right?)

Last friday the topic was brought up by my psychologist while I sped to my place to take the zoom in a quieter place.

I know Apollo is associated with crows, as they’re not a thing in my country, I always translated it to blackbirds. I would offer him pictures of them, say hi to them every time I passed one, I didn’t think to hard on it tbh.

So I am running to my place, my psychologist has corner me in terms of what new excuse I can bring now to avoid my thesis. I am out of them by now, but I have ironically gotten defensive about it- when suddenly 2 blackbirds stop right in front of of me. And I think: ha, they usually leave the closer I get. And then they start screaming at me, they start closing on on me and I AM the one freaking out now. I felt like a child being reprimanded by their parents (this is honestly a very common feeling I get in worship with Apollo overall). I am speechless.

I had to cross to the other side, while they kept staring at me.

Must I add I had a chat the day before with Apollo about “been done with “my break” and how I appreciate when he calls me out on my shit even if I claim to hate at the moment”? Yeah, that felt very fitting

PSDTA: I haven’t gone back to the project yet, it’s been 2 days since my callout.

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE VIRMIRE SURVIVOR SURVIVORS

Spectre Ashley Williams & Spectre Kaidan Alenko "Not a lot of other people have had my back since the beginning..." Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[pinacoladamatata]

feeling kind of stressed like i'm running out of time to draw solas

[blindmagdalena]

Eat Your Ego, Honey ( Homelander x OC )

ongoing series. words to date: 49k. 18+ main themes: dark romance, stalking, sex work, unhealthy relationships, alcohol, codependency, trauma bonding, rough sex. see AO3 for detailed tags.

summary: Layla Alden is an escort who specializes in the marriage of sex and emotional intimacy. In an effort to protect herself in an inherently hazardous industry, she enforces a strict ‘No Supes’ policy. Homelander doesn't take no for an answer, and insists that she take him on as a client. She's quickly caught up in the maelstrom of his life, forcing them both to confront feelings of obsession, danger, love, trauma, sex, and how the entanglement of all of those things have shaped their lives.

Homelander is an enigma. One moment he is moving with sexual prowess, eager and confident in himself, and the next he is subdued, utterly entranced by nothing more than a bare-handed touch. He shows all the trappings of a man who has had plenty of sex, but very little intimacy.

AO3 Link | Spotify Playlist

Tumblr Chapter Index:

Chapter One: Company

Chapter Two: It Will Come Back

Chapter Three: Stalker's Tango

Chapter Four: One Way Or Another

Chapter Five: You're Mine

Chapter Six: Gods & Monsters

Chapter Seven: Middle of the Night

Chapter Eight: I Found Love

[crossbackpoke-check]

the work is certainly not in progress, but it is wednesday !!

[muse-write]

.

[princemick]

atp it wud b mentally healthy for me not to b on tumblr bc timewise I spend 3/4 hrs a day making art/creating for this webbed site that I cud spend resting/working but also that wud make me soooo sad so no I'll just risk burnout

[overtake]

Josh Allen’s Life On And Off The Field

[cowbutchranch]

.

[virginia-werewolf]

why did i decide to work in the time period between christmas and new years.....