#i’ve been kicking my feet and giggling over josh all week

[overtake]

Josh Allen’s Life On And Off The Field

[calif0rnia-lovers]

safe haven.

A/N: Don’t mind me, just giving J a normal high school romance--one where his family is not involved. Set in S1 of Animal Kingdom. First time writing for this guy, so let me know what you think 

Pairing: Josh Cody x Black!OC

Rating: 💙 A soft piece with the youngest Cody, and the girl he tries to keep secret from his new found family. 

Request: Convincing J to study bc he's too caught up in the family business to worry about midterms

Words: 3.3k

Josh tightens his grip, crushing the letter in his hand. Left inside the unaddressed envelope, the letter remains unread. There is no point in reading it. J got the gist of the letter from the conversation with the counselor. He discards the crumpled mess in a nearby trash can.

The end of the school week produces a flood of excited teenagers emptying into the parking lot.

J's mind is on the previously discarded letter.

It was a letter of truancy, addressed to his grandmother, his current guardian. It has been months since the passing of J's mother. The school's patience has spread thin. His grades have not dropped, but his attendance has.

His mind is on the letter when he fishes his keys out of his front pocket. His pace slows before he comes to a complete stop a few feet short of his truck. The truck is where he left it, but there's a new addition.

It now has a powder blue backpack on the hood. Seated beside the backpack is the prettiest girl in school.

Cori Edwards has a familiar pair of black shades concealing her dark brown eyes -- now J remembers where he left them. She has abandoned the denim jacket he caught a glimpse of her in earlier. A knowing smile spreads across her face as she watches his eyes linger on the sundress she wears. As his eyes return to hers, J can't deny the smile on his lips.

The last time he saw Cori, for longer than the brief seconds they pass in the halls, was a month ago. This year, it appeared fate wanted to test the two. They had the same classes, the same teachers, but never at the same time. A few months ago, this meant they spent all of their free time stealing kisses at lunch and in the halls. They would then make up for lost time as soon as the school bell rang.

But things have changed too much. 

J's mother didn't keep track of his movements. His grandmother and uncles, J came to learn, analyze his actions. Keeping secrets has become second nature to him since moving into the Cody House. The one secret he swore he'd never reveal was Cori. He hasn't introduced her to Smurf or his uncles. He hasn't shared much about how his life has changed, upon his moving into their house, with Cori.

After so many vague responses, Cori understood it was better not to ask questions. She didn't want to spend her limited time arguing with J. Only, in the last month their limited face time has dwindled. Fizzed out to nothing.

A few texts here. A few long spread out phone calls there.

It was after one of those texts that their last reunion had taken place.

J might have been slightly drunk -- sober enough to drive, and park his truck a block from Cori's parent’s house. He had climbed through her bedroom window. The act itself was not graceful. His tumble through the window at three am woke her dad. Her dad came in to find Cori “still sleeping,” the toppled over AP Calculus and Physics books on the floor enough incentive for him to return to bed.

Once the coast was clear, J managed to strip before climbing into bed alongside her. All she received was a quick kiss before his arm was around her. He was out before his head hit the pillow. He left Cori with no time to inquire about his reasoning behind showing up drunk. Or about the black eye and busted lip. He had to sneak out in the morning before her parents got up.

Rumor has it J’s been showing up to school, even if Cori's rarely seen him there. He shows up for three days, almost like clockwork. Technically, it is enough to stop the school from legally reporting him for truancy. Until the counselor concluded it was time J stopped playing that game--which brings us to J's current situation.

He's standing in the parking lot, keys in hand, staring at his girlfriend -- at least he thinks she's still his girlfriend. Is it weird if he leads with that question?

As he stands before her, the only thought in his mind is how much he's missed her smile.

Jingling the keys in his hand, J regards the innocent smile on Cori's lips before shaking his head.

“You got a tracker on me, I don’t know about, Edwards?”

“Nope. It’s just a Cody sighting is kind of a big deal in these halls,” Cori sighs lightly as her eyes pass over the crowded parking lot. “Word gets around pretty fast when you actually show up.”

Cori’s words don't receive a verbal response. Her eyes are covered, but J knows what look lies inside them. The look causes his eyes to avoid hers. His hand rubs against the back of his neck, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

"Haven’t seen you around lately, Josh." She continues, the warmth of her fingers against his chin lifting J's gaze. Cori raises her sunglasses, her eyes passing over his face. "Nice to know your black eyes is gone."

"Yeah--sorry about that night." The smile on his lips is sheepish as he watches her study his face. He mentally kicks himself for the following line--he knows it's getting old. He says it anyway. "I had some family stuff-"

"That left you drunk with a black eye and busted lip?"

J takes in her raised brow, his shoulders sink.

What can he say?

I got my ass kicked after I was caught in the act of stealing some guy's car. Granted, my uncle saved my ass, but not before I got a black eye and busted lip?

No. He can't say that.

If he does, then he would have to explain why he was stealing a car in the first place. And that is a rabbit hole J isn't willing to jump down--not with her.

The passing of her fingers through his hair causes J to speak up.

"Sorry. I know you're tired of bullshit excuses." He shakes his head.

"I'm used to it," Cori sighs, her hands falling to her lap.

Before he can stop himself, J's hands are on her thighs pulling her closer. His lips are on hers.

"I'm sorry. You look nice," he smiles as his lips press a second kiss against hers.

"Hmm?"

"I’m serious," he chuckles as his hand finds her waist.

"Trust me, I know it’s true," she laughs. "I’m just trying to figure out why it’s taken you so long to say it."

"I’ve been busy," he begins. "With-"

"Family stuff," Cori nods, her hand waving to dismiss the subject. "I know, but that's not what I tracked you down for. I have so graciously blessed you with my presence because you owe me two things."

"What are they?" J's brow arches, a soft smile on his lips.

Cori drops her hand for his cheek. J's eyes remain on her as she leans back, weight resting against her palms.

"I need a ride home," she lightly pats the hood of the car. "And I need a study buddy."

J lets off a light scoff at the latter.

If there is one undisputed fact, it is Cori's academic ranking. She is top of their class. Between the two, J needs a study buddy to catch up to her perfect GPA.

"Okay. When?"

"Tonight, genius," her eyes roll as she pushes against his shoulder. "Josh, please don’t tell me you forgot we have midterms Monday."

J's eyes briefly drift shut.

"Shit--I have a family thing tonight."

"When?” Cori smiles as his eyes pass over the parking lot. The corners of J's lips turn up into a smile before his gaze returns to hers. “I’m just saying...it’s technically not nighttime yet…and being as you haven't seen me in ten thousand years...the least you can do is study with me...”

"What’s it gonna take for me to get out of this?"

Cori pauses to think.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Shaking her head, Cori smiles as her hands find his shoulders. "There is absolutely nothing that you can give me for me to drop this."

"Damn."

"Unless,” Cori bites back her smile as her playful eyes meet his. “You want to tell me how much you missed me.”

“If that’s it,” J sighs, his lips stopping short of hers, “You might want to go ahead and find another ride home--”

“Shut up,” she giggles as his hands find her waist.

Helping her down, J steals a kiss before following Cori to the passenger side of his truck.

"I'm just giving you a ride home."

"Uh-huh." Turning to face him, she smiles as his lips press against hers.

She allows him a second kiss as J's arm wraps around her waist.

“To sweeten the deal,” she beams. “I’ll even let you take me out.”

"What is it?"

Cori's eyes remain on the surfers visible from the parking lot. She watches the girl who manages to ride the swell longer than the rest of the group. When she glances across the truck, she discovers J watching her. 

"What do you mean?" 

A low chuckle escapes J as he watches Cori busy herself with the task of finishing her milkshake. 

"What's on your mind?"

Despite her asking him to stop and grab something to eat, Cori hasn't said much to J. Even if she had, he knew her well enough to grasp Cori was waiting to ask him something. Her brown eyes raise to meet his gaze before she lets out a breath. 

"It's kinda stupid."

"Coming from you?" His brow arches as his fingers interlace with hers. "I doubt it."

Cori's gaze remains on their interlaced fingers as she speaks.

"It's just, the winter formal is coming up. I figured we could go together."

She glimpses up once her suggestion is met with silence. J's brow is a furrowed, a hesitant smile on his lips. 

His thoughts are racing--he's praying this is the initial time she's breached the subject. That he hadn't missed any hints in his haze the past weeks.

"Seriously? You never want to go to those things."

Cori's eyes roll. J's right. In the last two years, neither of them have attended the school’s dances. 

She bites her lip before opting to take another sip of her strawberry shake. 

"You really wanna go?" A light shrug is what J gets in response. "If you want to go, I'll go."

"It's just--we're going to be done with school soon. We have to go to at least one--"

"And prom?"

"That's not up for debate. Your ass is taking me to prom, Joshua Cody." Cori laughs as J's lips press against her fingers. 

J's smile fades as a ringtone interrupts the conversation. He releases Cori's hand before retrieving his cellphone from the truck's console. 

She silently observes as he reads the name on the screen. 

Baz. 

She remembers the name--he is one of J's uncles--but that's where her knowledge ends. The furrow of J's brow sets in as he declines the call.

“So...this family thing," she notes, as his eyes meet hers. Before she can get the rest of her thought out, a text comes through recapturing J's attention. "It must be pretty important.”  

J's shrug seems outlandish when held alongside the urgency of his uncle. In the time it took to eat, J's phone has got several notifications. Each time, he pauses long enough to silence the call and proceeds as if it never came. 

“It’s just a thing with my uncles.” His mood is light as he sets the phone back down. His easiness returns as he meets her eyes. "Smurf's pretty serious about everyone being home for it." 

He can notice the slight hesitance in her eyes before she offers him a smile in return.

Leaning across the car, J presses a kiss against her cheek. His lips drift to her neck. 

"I'll get the tickets Monday," he mumbles as his lips retrace their steps. "Promise."

J's truck is parked engine idling. His left-hand rests against the steering wheel, his eyes on her.

Cori has removed her seatbelt. Her body is turned in the seat so that she faces J. She toys with the hem of her dress instead of moving to get out.

"It was good to see you, J."

"Yeah," J agrees. Her eyes lift to meet his, the soft smile on his lips stretching into a grin. "You too."

J opens his mouth to continue the thought, but Cori has already turned away from him. He watches as she retrieves her backpack from the back seat.  

"Cori," J clears his throat. The action hinders Cori's opening of the door. Her hand hovers over the handle. "Maybe we can hang-"

"Nope.”

J blinks. His brow furrows as a silence falls over the car.

"If you want to see me again," Cori teases, her hand falling from the handle. "It will be in school."

"Why do I have a feeling you're not gonna let this go?" J's eyes roll softly as Cori leans across the car. "You’re serious?" 

"Because I'm not letting this go," she smiles sweetly, ignoring the chuckle the action pulls from J. "And, I'm 'lock my window' serious, Josh. Show up if you want, and I’ll leave you outside."

The smile on Cori's lips grows as J's gaze falls from hers. His tongue passes over his lips as she leans closer.

His eyes drift shut as her giggle fills the car before Cori presses a kiss against his cheek. She leaves a second kiss before moving away. Hopping out of the truck, Cori slips her backpack onto her shoulders.

"Think about what’s important to you, Cody," she beams before shutting the door.

J picks up his phone. The screen lights up as a new text message appears.

6 missed calls. Baz

7 missed texts. Baz

1 missed text. Craig

He opens the most recent notification from Craig.

Dude. Call Baz back so he'll stop losin his shit. You know we got that thing tonight

Cori is in the process of unlocking the door when she hears the sound of his car door slamming. Looking over her shoulder, she smiles as J crosses the driveway backpack over his shoulder.

"Two hours,” he concedes. J is powerless to the tug of her hand as Cori pulls him inside. “Then I have to go. Baz is blowing up my phone.”

"Then we better get started."

J's fingers comb through his hair, the brown eyes trained on him forcing him back to reality.

Judging by the look on Cori's face, this is not the first time she has spoken. Heat rushes to his face as J's gaze reverts to the stack of notecards in his hands.

"Uh--yeah," he clears his throat as he shifts in the computer chair. "That's right."

He steals a second glance at her, the smile on Cori's lips not helping with his current situation.

"Of course it is," she winks. Her gaze returns to the review sheet. She stops to make a note alongside the term The Baroque.

The two are currently in the midst of an AP European History review.

J isn't much help, but Cori doesn't need it. Each of her responses is correct. That's good for J. He's spent the last thirty minutes distracted.

It's a good thing Cori claimed the bed, laying on her stomach as she pulled out her notebook. J took the computer chair opposite of her. If Cori had let him join her on the bed, no studying would have taken place.

It doesn't matter that a month has passed. J hasn't been able to keep his eyes off Cori Edwards since her arrival freshman year.

A smile creeps across his face as J's eyes meet Cori's for a second time.

"You need a break, Cody?" The grin on her lips widens as Cori rests her chin in her hand. "You seem distracted."

"Just thinking about how you don't need these." J lifts the cards in his hands before discarding them on the nearby desk. "You never have."

"Hmm..." Cori's eyes return to the review sheet. She pauses to add more to the notes written neatly in the margins. "True, but you do."

Pushing herself up, she passes over the review sheet. Written neatly in the top right-hand corner is J's name.

"I made this for you Tuesday night."

J studies the sheet for a moment, his fingers massaging his temple as he takes in Cori's study guide.

Shit--she's right. He does need it. He missed the review session on Tuesday. The thing about AP Euro is that it's not as straight forward as Trig. J can ace his Trig midterm in his sleep. AP Euro is a whole separate story.

"Thanks, Cori," he sighs. The grateful look in his eyes as he watches her cross the room earns him a warm smile. "You didn't have to-"

"Oh, trust me, I know." Taking his hand in her, Cori lowers herself down onto his lap. "But, I know you have a lot going on. Besides, making the sheet helped me review for the test."

"I love you. You know that?"

"As you should." Taking his face in her hands, Cori smiles as J meets her gaze. She closes the remaining distance between their lips. "I love you too."

As her lips drift to his neck, fingers slipping beneath the hem of his t-shirt, J pushes her dress up her thighs.

"I thought we were studying," he chuckles, his lips returning to hers.

"We're taking a break," she giggles. "You’re useless when you’re distracted."

When he wakes, J knows he’s overstayed. He was meant to leave by four. It’s four thirty. 

The cellphone, humming on the surface of Cori’s desk, sounds through the bedroom. J doesn’t lift his head from the pillow. Instead, he watches her face scrunch in irritation as the sound gradually pulls Cori out of her sleep.

“You gotta go?” She breathes, her eyes remaining shut as she tries to fall back to sleep.

“I should,” he chuckles. His finger traces the curve of Cori's shoulder. “Your parents will probably be home soon.”

“You’re right.” A soft giggle follows as J's arm wraps around her waist, pulling her body across the bed. “You should probably go.”

Despite his words, J makes no move to leave the bed. He sinks his face into her neck. His weight presses her into the mattress as her arms wind around his neck. He stays there for almost ten minutes. His eyes closed, listening to the delicate pattern of her pulse. Neither says a word. Cori knows the time has come to let him go when J presses a soft kiss against her skin before forcing himself up.

“I have some family shit I gotta handle,” J huffs as his palms rub against his eyes. “So, um, I probably won’t be on my phone for most of the weekend.”

“Okay.”

J proceeds to redress, his body in no rush to leave, as his phone starts again.

He needs to go. Now.

J has prolonged his return to reality, and the Cody House, long enough. If he doesn’t call back shortly, Smurf might have a heart attack.

J tugs his t-shirt over his head. His eyes focus on the bedroom window. He’s shocked Smurf's car is not parked out front. It wouldn’t be the first time his grandmother has tracked him.

“I just meant--I might not be able to pick up if you call,” he crosses the room to meet Cori. The faint smile on his lips brings one to her. “You can text me.”

“Maybe,” Cori sighs as J's lips caress her cheek. “If I have time. I’ll have to check my schedule.”

She catches sight of his sparkling eyes before J’s lips are on hers. The kiss itself is soft, another step in his lingering goodbye. His lips linger against hers before pressing against hers a final time.

“Hey,” J pulls back, his fingers interlacing with hers. He gently squeezes her hand as she meets his gaze. “Thanks for today. I missed you.”

“You too.”

“I’ll text you later,” J smiles before retrieving his phone and backpack.

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[thefanficmonster]

Quarantine On Crack...yet again

PART ONE 

Until Dawn Gang + Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Underage Drinking, Shameless Flirting

Genre: Crack, Humor

Summary: Time to check on our favorite gang who are still quarantined together and have still surprisingly not murdered one another. The lodge is still intact, which is promising. And everyone still has all seven of their limbs. How long will this simulation of peace last for is the real question.

Requested by my dear Until Dawn Anon who I haven’t heard from in so long 🥺 Hii dear! I have missed you tremendously! Here we are again to witness the craziness of our babies and I hope you’ll join me on the rollercoaster once again! Sorry it has taken me so long to write the long-ago-promised part 2 to the crack fic but here it finally is! Hope you enjoy it! Love and miss you, Vy ❤

“Alright folks, the delivery has arrived!“ I announce as Josh, Sam and I stumble through the front door of the lodge, each one of us carrying large boxes of food and toiletries. Bless the Washingtons for still sending us food, if I were them, Lord knows I’d either forget to do so or simply not do it because I didn’t feel like it. Hey, I’m not saying I hate these people, I’m just insinuating that they would not among my priorities had I been the one responsible to send them food. They should be in that case - but I’m being very honest when I say they wouldn’t be.

“Finally!“ Jess and Emily are so in sync for two people who supposedly can’t stand each other, it’s scary. Not that I wasn’t already scared of them to begin with. I just have a hard time dealing with them. But they are good in bed so I keep them around...

“What do you mean ‘finally’? We still have food from last week.“ Matt points out, a slight frown on his face when he lifts his head from the book he’s reading.

“We ran out of coffee capsules, duh!“ Jess says as though she’s addressing the most obvious thing to a person with very low IQ.

Matt does the smart thing of rolling his eyes and returning to his book. Speaking of which, I’m sending another blessing to the Washingtons for having the GRAND library here. I know I would’ve gone nuts and murdered half of these bitches if I didn’t have a book or two to keep me busy. That’s how things are with me, I either have a book to read or I’m committing a murder rampage. No in-between, at least not with these people.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs attracts our attention. Mike, Mr. Golden Boy comes down the stairs and plops down next to Jess, wrapping his arm around here, “There better be some beer in there.” He winks at me. Yeah, that’s Mike alright - has his arm around one girl, winks at another.

“I swear to God, if you two try to have a sword fight with empty beer bottles again, one of you is getting sent to the cabin.“ Josh warns us, taking on the parent role for once.

“Whoa there, Dr. Phil! Send us to the ranch next, why don’t ya!“ I roll my eyes at him, seeing his expression beg to change into a smile at my joke while he’s trying to maintain his no-funny-business look.

“Can we go unbox these things already? My arms are dead by now.“ Sam complains and doesn’t wait for an answer from us as she takes off with a rather fast pace towards the kitchen.

Josh and I are quick to follow. Much to my dismay, in order to reach the kitchen, we have to pass by where Emily is sitting. Since I haven’t already put in a request for a restraining order against her, passing within grabbing distance of her is risky as all hell. But you know me, I love risks. Passing in front of her I get ballsy and even give her the finger as I go. 

“You’ll regret that, Y/N! You’ll fucking regret it!“ She calls after me in teasingly threatening manner that almost makes me chuckle, however I keep my features as still as the ones of a statue and I don’t turn back around.

Sam and Josh have already cut the boxes open and have started moving the products from the box onto the kitchen counter and island. I grab the box cutter from its spot near the sink and cut the box open as well. To Josh’s dismay but my incredible luck, there are indeed a few beer bottles in my box. I cheer silently as I take them to the cooler.

“You know, Sam...“ Josh’s voice interrupts the silence just as I’m about to close the cooler. I’m honestly intrigued by what he has to say to Sam, and eavesdropping might be wrong, but it’s not like the fuckers can’t see me standing five fucking feet away! - so I pretend I’m organizing the cooler so I don’t have to return to the center of the kitchen where the two of them are crouched by their packages. A quick look over my shoulder confirms that they are indeed having a *MOMENT*, one I wouldn’t want to interrupt.

“Yes, Josh?“ Sam responds, giving me an urge to go grab some popcorn before any more progression happens. I know these two have eyes for one another, but they are both massive hypocrites! The are doing the very thing they hold against Chris and Ashley: hiding their feelings. Since I’m Josh’s unlicensed and unpaid therapist, I have a bit more intel on what’s going on in his head. It’s basically: 30% what am I doing with my life; 30% I need a drink; 40% Sam. You’d be surprised if you knew how often he mentions her when he’s venting. I’ve encouraged him to make a move countless times but it’s like trying to talk me into not killing Mike - impossible.

“You could melt the snow outside.” It takes me all my might to hold back from facepalming. Oh God, if this is what he thinks I meant when I said ‘tell her how you feel‘ he couldn’t be more wrong.

“Ok, lovebirds!“ I have never been happier to hear Chris’ voice. He saved me the trouble of having to step in and end the awkwardness myself. I turn around with a what I hope is a casual and friendly and totally not distressed smile. Behind Chris stand Ashley and Mike. “Need any help?“

“Yeah, you guys could come in handy.“ I tell them, waving them over almost desperately, “Ok, one of you help me with the rest of the things in the box. The other two can organize the shit that’s on the counter.“

I duck back down to continue unboxing. There’s bags of dried fruit, tea, the coffee capsules Jess was talking about, some spices which I’m not sure why they’re there but I’m not complaining.

“Heard you needed help.“ Oh for fuck’s sake, Mike again. Why couldn’t it be Chris or Ashley, or Satan for that matter. I’m really not in the mood to be cleaning blood off the kitchen floor tiles.

I tilt my head to the side and it’s only then that I realize how close he is to me. My eyes immediately travel to where I left the box cutter. “Back it up, Michael, or....“ FUCK IT’S NOT THERE. I swear I left it there! Where the fuck is it?!

“Or what?“ He reads my confusion and holds up his hand that is holding the box cutter I’m searching for. I’m afraid the more time we spend under the same roof the more experience he’ll have in defending himself and disarming me.

“Motherfucker...“ I growl and grab the tea and coffee capsules and stand up, “It’s a pandemic, damn it. Six feet apart at all times, buddy. I wish you’d put a mask over that mug of yours too.“ I narrow my eyes as I look down at him, resisting the desire to kick him.

“Only if you were the mask.“ Oh this fucker...he even has the audacity to stand up and step closer. Why are the four other people not noticing this? Ok yeah, cause they don’t wanna be witnesses to the murder of their old class prez. I got it.

“Six feet apart or six feet under, Munroe. Your call.“ He cockily waves the box cutter, not as a threat but as a remainder that I don’t have a weapon. “Bold of you to assume I need that to kill you.“

“She could always snap your neck.“ Chris pipes in.

“Or poke your eyes out.“ Ash does too.

“Or strangle you.“ Sam adds.

“The latter doesn’t sound so bad...“ He smirks at me, earning himself mortified looks from the peanut gallery.

“I. Hear. FLIRTING.“ Jess’ voice cuts through the tension that has built up in the kitchen. Mike and I turn to the doorway simultaneously as well as every other head in the room.

There is Jess looking like a pissed off cartoon toddler - aka: my escape.

“And I hear the void calling me.“ I catch her off-guard and put the items I was carrying in her arms, “I better go see what it wants from me. Byeeee.“

I all but hightail it out of there. I mean, say what you want about Mike’s shitty personality, or lack of personality all-together, but the fucker’s got sexappeal. Not that I’d ever admit it or fall under its effects.

In the living room I find Hannah and Beth with no traces of Emily or Matt. I feel slightly relieved, to be perfectly honest. Seeing the perfect stress relieving opportunity, I sit down next to Beth on the couch and lie down, placing my head in her lap. “Hi!” I give her a cheeky smile.

“You’re the Devil.“ Beth mutters without giving me as much as a glance. I turn to wave at Hannah and that’s when I see the chess board set up on the coffee table. So that’s what she’s so focused on.

“Oh please, you’ll make me blush.“ I fake a giggle and blow her a kiss while she remains completely unbothered.

“Whatever’s going on over there - I DON’T LIKE IT!“ Josh says menacingly as him, Sam, Chris and Ashley enter the living room.

“ME NEITHER“ Oh no, that’s Emily’s voice. Her and Matt have just walked into the lodge after another stroll - they have those when they wanna make out in private. Speaking of making out, I don’t see Jess and Mike anywhere, much to my relief - one of them wants to kill me at the moment but they both wanna sleep with me too so you get why it’s a situation I’d like to avoid.

“No jealousy, guys, please. I love you all the same!“ I prep myself up in a half-sitting position to give them an apologetic but seductive look when a pillow whacks me in the face, “What the hell?!“

“I thought you loved me more!“ Beth barks back angrily.

Well, I’m in some serious trouble now. Not only is Beth DEADLY when angry, but she also has two siblings who are more than capable of kicking my ass.

“I do! I really do, Beth, I swear!“ My apologies are put to an end by another hit with a pillow. “You know I do!“ I sit up completely and turn to look at Beth who has turned the opposite direction. “Pwease?” I give her the best puppy-dog eyes I can pull of despite feeling utterly ridiculous.

“So you do have a favorite member after all? And it’s not me? Wow, Y/N.“ Ash glares at me as well, crossing her arms and also turning away from me.

“I SECOND THAT.“ Emily stomps her foot down and storms out of the room

Oh fuck.

“I do too, honestly. I’m really hurt, Y/N.“ Matt the person I can always trust to be on my side has turned his back to me in this time of need.

Oh fuck squared.

“You’re in some deep shit now.“ Hannah laughs almost evilly as she leans back in the armchair she’s sitting in.

“Josh, could you set something on fire again? Preferably me this time.“ I mutter with a monotone voice. I’d like to picture there’s a rain cloud above my head just pouring down on me. And zaps me with lightning every now and then for good measure.

“Nah, that’d be too easy on you.“ This motherfucker....

“Oh so you WANT me to tell a specific someone what you think and say about them when they aren’t around?“ I change the meaning of ‘death glare‘ with this look I give him. I’m sure that if I keep staring at him like this long enough I’ll burn holes into his skull.

After a few moments of still silence and intense glaring he finally breaks, “Alright fine, I’ll get the deodorant and lighter.“

I sigh in relief. I suppose there are worse ways to leave this world...

“No!“

“Don’t you dare!“

“No way!“

Beth, Ashley and Matt all jump up as soon as Josh gives any effort to stand up.

“Washington, I swear to God!“ There go Emily and Jess in sync again as they both enter the room armed. Jess is only in her underwear but we don’t talk about that. What’s important is that she’s carrying the box cutter from before while Emily is armed with a dull butter knife. Knowing how determined she can be, I wouldn’t underestimate her power due to the lack of sharpness to her weapon.

Josh is rightfully stunned by the sudden turn of events and sits his ass back down with hands raised in the air. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

“Y’all love me!“ I smile at them, putting a hand over my heart.

Jess turns to me in a split-second, angry as fuck, and points the box cutter at me. “Y/N, I swear to God-”

“Alright, alright, alright...“ I too raise my hands in surrender.

This is how shit goes down over here. Just pure fucking CHAOS, a lot of drinking, flirting and sex jokes. And so much wondering how we’re all friends.

[adhd-disaster-willie]

Seventeen and strung out on confusion; chapter 1/4

Summary: Just some snippets of backstory for the one and only Alex Mercer; aka my comfort character. Each moment will have a date attached so you can understand the timeline. Angst with fluffy found family moments :)

Warnings: Homophobia, swearing

---

As I’m sure you could guess, there are numerous problems that come with being the only out gay kid at your school in 1994. It’s not so bad if you keep your head down and persuade your friends not to get into a fight with everyone who throws a slur your way, but regardless. That pink hoodie that you’ve been wearing since you were 14 and is honestly too small at this point but your parents refuse to buy you another one? Well it’s a target on your back and apparently everyone at the school is now a professional archer. Or at least, they’re all very proficient in the art of unoriginal insults that cut deeper than they should. All of this is to say, don’t come out to your religious parents in 1994. Ever.

---

Alex Mercer was born into a perfect nuclear family, in a two story house with a white picket fence, brick columns, and a clean cut yard that was unsettlingly green. His parents were as religious as anyone could get; straight-laced, good Catholic parents who kept their hands tight around Alex’s shoulders. He went to church every Sunday and tried to ignore the way his neck itched from the too-tight collar and his mother swatting at his hands until he had to sit on them to refrain from drumming on the nearest surface. He was good at hiding the way he payed undivided attention to his little sister’s ballet classes, good at pretending to stare at the girls in the hallways that all his friends drooled after, and especially good at convincing everyone that he drummed and sang to… impress said girls. Right. But unfortunately, Alex was even better at accidentally outing himself a day into the New Year, consequentially losing all of his parents’ affection.

He didn’t even exist to them anymore. Maybe it would’ve been better if they’d given him a million restrictions and curfews and basically chained his hands together, because this was unsettling. And lonely. Family dinners were a thing of the past, and he’d really begun to sympathize with Reggie and his microwaved, half-cold meals every morning and night. But it could always be worse. They hadn’t kicked him out… yet.

---

January 25, 1994

“Alex, dude!”

Alex flinched upon realizing Reggie’s hand waving in front of his face. He looked up and smiled guiltily, realizing the way he’d frozen, spaced out staring at the wall and absentmindedly hitting his sticks against his legs with a beat that didn’t at all match the song they were supposed to be rehearsing.

Luke sighed, wiping the pout off his face. “Alex, come on man! We aren’t gonna get any gigs if you keep…” He waved his hands vaguely and slapped Alex’s shoulder. “Just, pay attention dude.”

“Right,” Alex replied, his voice strained. He was staring down at his shoes and he could feel his bandmates having a silent conversation above his head which he could only deduce Luke was not happy with, probably meaning they were stopping rehearsal. He didn’t want them to stop for him; it made him feel like a burden, and Luke was right, if they were gonna make it anywhere, they had to be all in.

“Alex, you okay?” Reggie asked, his eyebrows knit together in concern.

Alex nodded briefly and kept his gaze trained on his feet. His sneakers were too small and he had to curl his toes in for them to fit but he was afraid of the reaction he’d get from telling his parents he needed something.

“It’s not one of those homophobic jackasses again, right?” Bobby asked, moving closer, his eyes narrowing. “I swear, this time I will cave Josh’s fucking face in-”

“It’s not!” Alex clarified, finally lifting his head. “It isn’t…” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look it’s just my parents alright? They…”

Reggie’s eyes widened and he began fiddling with his flannel sleeves. “They didn’t… they didn’t hurt you did they?” He asked, his voice small.

“No, no they didn’t hurt me… not physically at least.” He laughed ruefully. “They’re just being stupid, alright? Ignoring me like they have for the past 3 weeks.” Alex stood up, well aware that at this point band practice was a thing of the past. He walked to the couch, the other three boys in tow.

“Hey!” Luke elbowed Alex’s side before throwing an arm over his shoulders. “That new Green Day album is coming out in like, a week.” He grinned, eyes lighting up. “I’ve been saving up to buy it, and we can use that new cassette player I got for Christmas to listen to it.”

Alex nodded, smiling softly and letting his head relax on the back of the couch. “Yea that sounds great. Promise you won’t listen to it without us?”

“Of course ‘Lex; we all gotta be there to find which songs we’re gonna cover.”

Reggie wrinkled his nose in confusion. “I thought you said we’d moved past being a cover band?”

“It’s Luke, he’ll make an exception for anything if it involves Green Day,” Bobby chuckled.

Several beats of silence passed in which the sun seemed to get increasingly lower in the sky, before Bobby sighed in resignation. “You’re all staying here tonight, aren’t you?”

Luke beamed, clapping Bobby’s shoulders. “You know us so well.”

“Sleepover!” Reggie laughed, pumping a fist in the air. “Does it count as a sleepover if we all basically live here at this point?”

“Shhh ‘Lex, don’t ruin our fun,” Luke responded.

Alex smiled hesitantly. Yea, he was okay.

---

May, 1994

Michael Williams had dark hair brushing the tips of his shoulders, eyes that were almost golden in certain lights and a smile that gave Alex butterflies. Not to mention he was in theater and had a reputation for flipping off the homophobic jocks that were constantly on Alex’s tail. Not that he did it specifically for Alex, but still. The only problem was that talking to cute boys that he hadn’t known since 3rd grade was far from Alex’s strong point.

“Come on Alex!” Luke groaned, sliding into the last open seat at their lunch table. “Just talk to him before I literally combust.” He punctuated his sentence by waving at Alex with a cold french fry.

Alex grumbled something, his face in his arms in a futile attempt to hide the red dusting his cheeks.

“Hey Luke, if you explode because Alex refuses to talk to his crush, can I have your CD’s?” Reggie quipped, a lopsided grin on his face.

Luke gasped in mock offense. “Reginald-!”

“Still not my name.”

“I will be buried with my music,” Luke said. “Both of my guitars too-”

“Even your amp?” Bobby questioned.

“Yes.”

“Seems like a waste of space. Can you even fit all that in a coffin?”

Luke shrugged. “You guys can figure it out. Don’t betray my dying wish.”

Something that would’ve been silence had Luke ever been taught how to chew like a normal person passed over the table, in which Alex’s attention drifted lazily back to Michael Williams, who was chatting enthusiastically with one of the girls in his theater class. Alex didn’t know her name but they had biology together and she never gave him dirty looks, so he liked her.

“10 bucks if you go talk to him,” Bobby said, nudging Alex and waggling his eyebrows.

“No. No,” Alex said. “Not happening.”

“15.”

“Where is this money coming from?” Alex squeaked, although the prospect of $15 was all too tempting. He could get some decent shoes for that.

“20,” Bobby continued, grinning maniacally.

“Dude!” Luke laughed. “How are your parents gonna like you asking for money to fulfill a bet?”

Bobby slapped a hand over Luke’s mouth.

“I’m gonna regret this,” Alex sighed, already moving to stand up.

Reggie giggled like a child and offered a shit-eating grin to Alex, who promptly flipped him off before heading across the cafeteria.

---

December 17, 1994

Alex was screwed. No. Alex was completely fucked. Alex Mercer was likely seconds away from living in a ditch. Because of course it had to be his sister who caught him making out with a guy after school. And of course she was too young to understand why she couldn’t tell Mom and Dad. Because she would’ve done the same if he’d been kissing a girl because kissing is gross and it’s funny to tell your parents that your big brother was kissing someone.

“Hey Mom, guess what Alex did today?” Angie asked, giggling. She was perched on the counter, licking frosting from her fingers while their mother brushed cookie crumbs from her dress. And Alex was frozen at the top of the stairs, crouched down, his heart pounding so loud he was sure it could be heard downstairs. He dug his nails into his palms and prayed that his mother would pretend he didn’t exist when he wanted her to. It was one thing, them knowing. But this? This was something else. Alex’s parents lived on the philosophy that homosexual thoughts got you an eternity in hell, but homosexual actions got you shunned and thrown out. So yea, he was screwed.

“What did Alex do today?” His mother asked, plastering a false smile onto her face, her voice sounding like she was already packing his bags. Alex wanted to get up and run. He wanted to go to his room and jump out the window and fly away. But it was like the sweat on his palms was superglue keeping him stuck to the carpet, and his brain had short-circuited.

Angie laughed again, trying to get it out through her snickering. “Alex was kissing someone today.” She sang, her small feet swinging back and forth, the noise of her heels against the counter like knives in Alex’s ears. “That boy Michael that used to go to our church.” The innocence in her voice made Alex ache.

“Angie.” His mother’s voice was cold now. “Leave please.”

Angie’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she scurried up the stairs anyway, giving Alex a tearful hug on the way because even at ten, she knew that that voice meant trouble. “Sorry ‘Lex. I shouldn’t ‘a told your secret,” She whispered, before sprinting to her room and leaving Alex wondering if he’d get to see her after tonight.

“Alex Mercer, please come downstairs.” Her voice chilled him to the bone, like shards of ice penetrating his skin and seeping into his blood. But he walked down anyway.

Alex tightened the muscles in his hands and feet, willing himself to stay still and planted to the wooden floor, facing his mother head-on, as if the look in her eyes wasn’t terrifying him to the point of tears. But he wouldn’t let her see that she was getting to him, he wouldn’t. So he bit his tongue and counted down from ten inwardly.

“What is this nonsense?” She hissed, reaching out and gripping his forearm, her nails a millimeter away from digging into his skin.

Alex swallowed roughly. “I- I don’t know. Angie’s just… she’s-”

“Don’t lie to me!” His mother snapped. She brought her hand back, curling her fingers in with a look of disgust, as if she’d been touching fire. And then she was speaking again, but Alex couldn’t hear her over the pounding in his ears. He tightened his jaw and shut his eyes momentarily. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

“Get out.”

His eyes snapped open. Alex stood still in front of her, searching her eyes for the slightest bit of remorse. But there was nothing but ice. So he left. He left with tears running down his face and he couldn’t even bring himself to say goodbye to Angie. It wasn’t until he was halfway down the block when he realized that he had nothing but the clothes on his back and a backpack full of everything he could fit, and no where to go. He collapsed on the ground, the cold night air finally hitting him, seeping into his bones. He looked up and wiped his eyes, sniffling. It was odd, the way that the Christmas lights were able to look so beautiful when he felt so broken inside. It felt almost unfair that everything outside of him was moving at a normal pace like nothing had changed. But Alex knew better than that. Everything had changed.

---

These are the people who expressed interest in reading this when I posted about it a few days ago :)

@edgeofgillespie @herequeerandcantdrinkbeer @lookingthroughmirrors

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

[nialledfromfics]

The Dating Game | Chapter One 

~~

8:37. 

He was already thirty seven minutes late. Her fingers lightly tapped at the veneered mahogany bar top, the ice in her drink having nearly turned to water in the bottom of her empty glass as she picked up her phone to check the time once more. 8:38. 

Slumping her shoulders in a soft sigh, she reached up to tuck a few strands of her red hair behind her ear as her narrowed stare drifted around the semi-full bar area of the restaurant. She carefully inspected each lonesome male guest one last time, hoping that maybe she had just overlooked the man she was there to meet. Her teeth scraped incredulously along her bottom lip, her back straightening slightly as she attempted to peer over the heads of seated patrons, though it was becoming increasingly obvious by the second that she may have been stood up.  

“Are ya waitin’ for someone?” 

The low voice startled her at first, but she just casually chuckled and glanced down at her phone. “Yeah...uh, a blind date actually,” she spoke up, tapping at her phone screen to check the time. 8:42. She rolled her eyes and gently peered over towards the stranger that was standing a few feet from her left, who she, for a moment, thought maybe could be her date. Her hazelnut eyes caught his bright blue ones before she noticed the soft sweep of his chestnut brown hair laying across his forehead and the rugged stubble of his beard adorning his jaw, and she, for a moment, almost wished he was her date. “He’s almost forty five minutes late already, pretty sure that’s not a good sign.” 

The guy laughed; the roaring sound resonating right through her as she watched small crinkles form by the corners of his eyes. His infectious smile was lighting up his entire face. It made her smile too. “Probably not, no.” 

His voice was deep, gritty almost and riddled with an Irish rogue that she was certain could send anyone to their knees. The young woman faintly cleared her throat at her thoughts and took to stirring the half melted cubs of ice around her glass with the straw. “Is there, like, some kind of handbook on first date etiquette?” she jokingly asked the man, shifting her stare back over to his. “How long should I sit here and wait like an idiot before it’s okay to get up and leave?” 

“Honestly, I couldn’t tell ya,” he said with a heavy sigh, bringing his glass to his mouth to sip down the rest of his drink, “I don’t go out on dates that much.”

She sat back in her chair and chuckled at his, frankly astonishing, confession. One that, just by the looks of him, she was having a very hard time believing. “You’re joking, right? ‘Cause if you’re having a hard time finding a date, there is absolutely no hope for me.” 

A flush overcame the man’s cheeks, and he bowed his head down slightly. “I wish I was jokin’!” he replied, looking back over at the stunningly gorgeous girl sitting just two feet from him. “It’s actually my job that makes datin’ kinda hard.” 

“Yeah, I wish I could say that about my job,” she said with a slight narrowing of her one eye, “much better than realizing that men are just shit.” 

Another laugh belted from him before he gave her a shrug. “Fair enough, I’ll give ya that. So...what is it that you do then?” 

“I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

“Really? That’s nice.” 

“Yup,” she nodded. “What about you, what do you do?”

He cleared his throat, his shoulders rounding as he rested his forearms on the edge of the bar, twirling his empty glass around against the wooden bar top. “Um...I’m a musician, a singer actually.”

“Well, that’s pretty damn cool,” she shot back with her eyes going big, “much cooler than my job.”

“Doubt that, you get to be with kids all day.” 

She smiled and leaned towards him, reaching out to lightly lay the tips of her fingers over his right bicep. “Like I said, much cooler than my job.”

Sitting herself back up in her barstool, she flipped her long red hair over her shoulder and clasped her hands together on top of her crossed thighs. She was unaware of his wandering gaze on her at that moment: stretching down the long slope of her neck to the slight peek of her ample cleavage that was showing from her top. She had soft full lips, painted in a muted mauve color and a delicately rounded chin. She was absolutely captivating. He quickly averted his stare when she curiously flicked her eyes over to his, and he reached up to card a hand through his dark hair as a distraction. “Uh...can I, um, get ya another drink?” 

She looked down at her empty glass, pondering his question. “You know what,” she started, glancing back over at him, “yeah, I’d like that. Thanks.” 

He smiled at her and raised his hand to motion the bartender over to them. “Whatcha drinkin’?”

“Vodka soda.”

He rolled his lips into his mouth and nodded. “Vodka soda for the lady, please and I’ll have another Jameson, on the rocks.” 

By that time, it was her gaze that was wandering over him as he ordered. She watched as his lips curled intricately around each word that left them, her eyes drifting from the small spots dotting across his thick neck up to the glow of the bar lights that flecked through his soft eyelashes. He was very beautiful. It almost made her nervous. Feeling the heat of her stare, he locked his eyes on hers and slid himself into the seat next to her. She pulled in a deep breath as he situated himself in his chair and she was quick to realize that not only was he crazy attractive, but he also smelled incredible. Of course he did. 

Her stare flicked down to her lap. “So...are you here on a date too or…” she asked, her soft voice waning slightly.

“Oh no,” he replied, shaking his head, “I’m actually meetin’ some of my mates here soon, we’re goin’ out to some club. This is my buddy’s bar actually, so...it’s kinda like our designated meetin’ point.” 

“Gotcha.”

“I’m Niall, by the way.”

Her brown eyes fell to his hand as he held it out towards hers. She shook it and gave him a sweet smile. “I’m Joey, nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet ya, too.” Niall’s brow quirked up slightly as the last word left his lips and Joey couldn’t help but bite down on her bottom lip in reaction. He really was wicked handsome. “Can I ask...do ya do this often? Go out on blind dates?”

Her shoulders lifted in a laugh, a real genuine laugh that spilled effortlessly past her pouty lips like a cool breeze on a hot summer's day. Her eyes pinched shut and her nose scrunched with her loud giggle, and he couldn’t help but think how adorable she looked. It nearly left Niall breathless. But he just amorously smiled back at her. “Oh God, no,” she began, gathering her breath as the bartender set down their drinks, “this is actually the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. My best friend, Alexis, she made me download Tinder and Bumble a couple weeks ago-”

“Oh God-”

“I know, right? That’s what I said!” she agreed with another giggle. “But...I told myself that I should just try it out, ya know? Put myself out there, go on some dates, experience shit and see what happens. So...here I am. To be honest, this is the first real date I’ve been on in...a really long time. I’m...pretty nervous. And, of course, it’s already going super great, if you couldn’t tell.” 

Niall let out a snort just as he went to take a sip of his drink. “Precisely why I barely ever go on dates…” 

“I thought it was because of your job,” she snarkily replied, smirking at him around the straw of her drink. So she was clever too. Niall took notice and he chuckled. 

“A bit of both, to be fair.” 

“Ah, I see.” 

“So, this guy you’re meetin’,” Niall began again, lightly waving his hand around as he spoke, “you know anythin’ about him?”

Joey set down her drink, her foot kicking back and forth as she pulled in a breath. “Um...not much really. He said that he is self- employed, around 5’11”, dark curly hair and that he was going to be wearing a light blue shirt.” 

Niall’s mouth turned down at the corners. “Oooh sounds sexy,” he teased.

Tossing her head back in a boisterous laugh, his eyes went wide with enticement as her neck bared itself to him. Her shiny red hair flowed over her shoulder, cascading down her arm just as she reached up to cup her hand over her mouth. Niall’s heart might have skipped a few beats watching her. After her giggles had settled, she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. “I’m sure I’ll be swept right off my feet,” she joked back at him. 

“Dunno, Joey,” Niall said with a sarcastic click of his tongue, “he could be the one…”

She sighed dramatically. “I definitely better prepare myself.”

“Better have that officiant on speed dial.” 

“Obviously. Every girl’s must-have on a first date.” 

They both broke out into a fit of giggles and Joey couldn’t help but take note of how easy and comfortable she felt talking to Niall. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time. “So,” Niall said, picking up his half empty glass and readying himself for a sip, “have you ever been here before–”

“Joey?”

Whipping her head to the right at the mention of her name, the young woman was met with a dark curly haired man wearing a light blue button up shirt. She was almost disappointed to see him. “Oh...uh, Josh, right?” 

“Yeah, sorry I’m so late. Traffic was a nightmare,” he mumbled, slapping his hand to the back of a nearby barstool. “Also I had to feed my cat.” 

Joey’s brows buckled at the last bit, but she waved it off. “No, no, it’s no problem, really.” 

He nodded. “Should we get our table?”

“Yeah, sure, let me, uh...grab my stuff.” 

Turning back around, she captured Niall’s stare and gave him an awkward ‘ugh’ expression, one that he was fast to reciprocate with a chuckle. She stood herself up, smoothing down the front of her skirt before grabbing her bag and jacket. “Thank you so much for the drink, Niall,” she told him, keeping her tone low and between them, “And the friendly conversation.” 

Niall nodded. “My pleasure, Joey. Have fun, and be safe.” Giving him a kind smile, she turned to follow her date, who had already begun to shuffle off towards their table. Niall watched as she walked away, Joey barely making it a few steps before she had glanced back at him over her shoulder. He had a coy half-smirk on his face, one that could without a doubt ignite a fire in a snowstorm and, for a split second, Joey wondered what the hell she was doing. 

•

She had known who he was. The second she looked over at him, saw those heavenly blue eyes and heard that brogue accent, it clicked. But there was no way she was going to freak out or tell him that. Besides, by the end of the conversation, she had practically forgotten that he was a multimillionaire world famous musician and singer. He was just...another guy she met at a bar.

However, the moment she sat down at the reserved table with her date, randomly meeting Niall Horan at a bar in West Hollywood was the last thing on her mind. Josh, her blind date, seemed nice enough. He ordered them drinks, a lot of drinks, and kept up fairly well with the initial awkward getting-to-know-you conversation, though his frequent mention of someone was starting to stump Joey. 

“....and Tina really likes it when we play together.” 

Joey set down her drink. “Um...you keep mentioning Tina, who is that? Your daughter or something?” 

“Daughter?” he laughed. “No, I don’t have any kids. No, human kids.” 

Her eyes narrowed in perplexity as the guy tipped his head back to guzzle down the last of his mixed drink, the waiter having already brought him a fresh one. “Tina is my cat.” 

“Oh.”

“Listen, if I could marry her, I would. But I guess that’s not really legal, huh?” 

Joey stayed silent, her widening eyes slowly falling to the salad plate that rested in front of her. She chalked his comment up as a joke, but as the night dragged on, five more drinks being consumed by her date as he gleefully showed Joey about forty two pictures and twelve different videos of Tina the Cat, she began to think maybe he wasn’t joking at all…

Half way through their main course, Joey could tell that Josh wasn’t really holding his alcohol too well. His eyelids were droopy, his skin blotchy and clammy with sweat settling across his brow-line and his words were slurring to the point that Joey could barely understand a single thing he was saying. She knew it wasn’t looking good. 

“Hey...are you okay?” she finally asked, noticing the redness in his cheeks starting to fade to blue. Josh simply looked up at her and swallowed hard before attempting to lift himself out of his chair. He grabbed at his stomach, a slightly worrisome grumble bubbling up into his throat as he kept his balance with his free hand gripping to the edge of the table. 

“Oh...oh, okay,” Joey mumbled, “...this is happening…”

She went to reach out for him as he began to wobble past her, assuming he was headed towards the bathroom, when he paused; the look on his face harboring sheer terror the second his eyes caught hers.

Oh shit. He wasn’t going to make it. 

Joey’s mouth dropped open in a horrified gasp, not even having time to lean out of the way as Josh bent over and puked right there on the restaurant floor next to her. The entire place fell silent as the sounds of uncontrollable retching and half digested contents hitting the tiled floor echoed throughout the large open space. Joey slapped her hands up to cover her nose and mouth, the entire side of her bare leg splattered in his vomit. 

He stayed bent over, heaving and moaning after he was through, servers rushing around him as they tried to figure out how to handle the situation. Joey slowly peeked back up to his face, his glazed over eyes meeting hers and all she could do was let out a defeated sigh. “I’ll get you a Lyft.” 

•

After cleaning herself up as best she could in the restaurant bathroom and helping Josh into his Lyft–and a couple half-assed apologies being muttered as she buckled him in–Joey watched the car pull away, tightening her jacket around her body. It wasn’t cold outside by any means, but there had formed a slight chill in the late night air and instead of grabbing herself a ride, Joey decided to walk the few blocks north to the small Italian bistro, Italiano’s, that her brother worked at. Italiano’s also happened to be her favorite restaurant and had a to-die-for Tiramisu that Joey absolutely loved. She thought that after the night she had endured, she deserved to treat herself to something indulgent. 

It was only a fifteen minute walk, Joey arriving just as they were about to close up for the night. She yanked open the door with a relieved sigh and smiled at Ramona, the hostess and Joey’s brother’s girlfriend, who was standing beside a small wooden podium. “You’re here kinda late,” Ramona mentioned as she stepped to the side to give Joey a hug. 

“Yeah, just left what was probably the worst date I’ve ever been on,” Joey explained, “thought I’d stop by to see if you guys’ have any of that Tiramisu left?” 

Ramona smiled. “I’m sure we’ve got a piece or two left,” she said with a wink, leading Joey over to a table. “I’ll put you in Carter’s section.” 

“Thanks Ramona.” 

Showing Joey which table to sit at, she poured her a glass of water and rested a hand on her shoulder. “I’m gonna go clean up those couple tables over there and then I’ll be back. We can have a little girl talk if you want.” 

Nodding at her with a smile, Joey watched Ramona walk off just as her brother, Carter, began heading towards her table. He was already carrying a small plate that had a generous portion of Tiramisu on it. “You are a lifesaver,” Joey mumbled as he stepped up and set the plate down in front of her.

“I wouldn’t be your bro if I didn’t know exactly why you were here.” 

Joey rolled her eyes and pulled the fork from her folded up cloth napkin, quickly digging into the dessert. Carter took the time to sit down in the chair across from her, his shift pretty much over with Joey being the only patron left in the establishment. “So, how was your night?” he asked her.

“Shitty,” she said between bites, not even looking up at him. “Or maybe I should say...’vomity’.”

Carter’s brows pulled in. “Huh?”

She peeked up at him. “I went on a blind date and the guy threw up on me,” she said with a snort, “well…on my leg.” 

“Fuck,” he chuckled. 

“Yeah.” 

Ramona came shuffling over, pulling out the chair between Joey and Carter and sitting herself down. “Okay, what’d I miss?” 

“She got puked on,” Carter told Ramona, pointing a finger at Joey. 

A gasp left Ramona’s red lips. “You’re joking?!”

Throwing her brother a spiteful look, Joey sighed. “Wish I was, but nope, the guy got totally wasted and just...threw up everywhere. It was so embarrassing.” 

“Yikes.” 

Joey licked the last bit of Tiramisu off her lips and pushed the plate away from her. Dropping her chin into the cups of her hands, she rested her elbows on the table. “I feel like this is some kind of sign, that I’m just destined to be alone forever.” 

Carter sighed. “Jo, don’t say that.”

“It’s just...I’m really trying to put myself out there, ya know? And of course, I can’t even have a decent first date. I have to, literally, get puked on,” Joey said, carefully tucking some hair behind her ear.

Ramona shot her a soft smile and leaned her arms on the table. “Carter and I had a pretty bad first date. It doesn’t always mean the rest will be bad too.” 

“What was wrong with our first date?” Carter asked her, his face pulling in. 

The dark haired girl laughed. “You were twenty minutes late picking me up, our reservations got ‘lost’ so then we had to wait an extra hour for our table and then your car got towed while we were eating. That’s pretty bad.”  

Carter rolled his eyes. “Oh, that’s not that bad.”

“Anyway,” Ramona continued, peering back over at Joey, “all I’m saying is that you never know how it’s going to end up. Maybe Puke Boy deserves a second chance.” 

Joey chuckled and shook her head. “Most definitely not. We really didn’t have much in common anyway. I’m just worried that I’ll never be able to find someone.” 

Reaching out to put a hand on Joey’s shoulder, Ramona leaned closer to her. “It might seem like you can’t find anyone, but I promise you will. You’re amazing Joey, and you shouldn’t have to settle for just anyone. You gotta keep searching.”

“You think?” Joey flicked her eyes from Ramona to her brother.

“Definitely,” Carter assured her with a gentle smile, “just don’t give up. Not yet, ‘cause it’s usually right where you least expect it.”

•

[puckinghell]

Cross Me | Josh Anderson

Summary: When you run into your ex at a bar, Josh makes sure to make it clear he’s got your back. Based on the song Cross Me by Ed Sheeran Words: 2.5k Note: You guys kept requesting Josh Anderson and now you’ve got me into him, so thanks for that. Here you go

You haven’t seen David in a few months, but at the first sight of him, every feeling comes rushing back over you like a tidal wave.

The happiness you felt when he first told you he loved you. The pain he caused when he left.

Not just left. Cheated. 

You hadn’t really wanted to come out tonight, but Josh insisted, and he could be relentless when he wanted to be. 

“You have to go, everyone’s going,” he’d pouted, “the guys all miss you. And if you don’t come, who am I going to hang out with when they all get drunk and annoying?”

“At that time, you’ll also be drunk and annoying, so why would I wanna be there?” your answer had been, but you’d never been good at saying no, not when it came to Josh and his big puppy eyes, so that’s how you had ended up where you are now.

Standing in the corner of the bar with your feet nailed to the floor, watching as your ex walks through the door.

“Josh.” His name falls from your lips in a strangled noise and it surprises you, with the music in the bar so loud, that he hears you immediately. There’s a frown on his face as he turns around, the panic in your voice clear to him, and when he sees your fallen face he rushes over. 

“Dude?!” Zach calls out offended when Josh bumps into him, but your best friend doesn’t even seem to hear his teammate.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as he reaches you, hand curling around your elbow. You don’t speak but you’re staring, and he follows your gaze to the door.

His eyes darken when he spots David. 

“That asshole.” 

Josh has been your best friend for years and his opinion has always mattered when it comes to dating people. He always meets guys you’re hanging out with pretty soon after you start dating, because if he doesn’t like them, you’ll think twice about getting serious with them.

Not only does Josh have pretty good intuition when it comes to guys being good dudes, he’s also the most constant source of happiness in your life, and it never sat right with you to be with someone he’s not keen on.

The thing is. He actually really liked David, when you introduced them. They became buddies pretty quickly, bonding over the best beer pong strategies and action movies you don’t really care about. You were with David for over a year and it had made you so happy that your best friend and your boyfriend became friends.

But when you showed up at Josh’s door with tears rolling down your at 2 am on a Tuesday, he didn’t hesitate to drop that friendship right away.

All you had to do was tell him the truth. That David had been having an affair with Vanessa, a colleague of his, for over a month. And now he was breaking up with you to go have a life with her.

David had broken you, and Josh had been there to put back the pieces. He’d been there when you spent an entire week eating chocolate ice cream and watching romantic comedies on his couch, he’d been there to carry you home when you went through a party phase, and he’d been the one to pry your phone out of your hands as you drunkenly tried to call your ex. 

You don’t know how you would’ve coped without him. You could never thank him enough for being your rock, but you knew it hadn’t been easy for him, to juggle your emotion distress and his career, not when David broke up with you while the Blue Jackets were still fighting for their playoff spot. It must’ve been tough for him, too, to lose a guy he saw as a friend. 

It’s not weird, then, that Josh’s jaw is set tight as he stares at David, eyes cold and lips pressed in a tight line.

“You wanna leave?” he asks, but the thing is. You’re doing fine now. It’s been months and although it hurts to see David, you’re definitely not in love with him anymore, and you definitely don’t want him back. All you really want to do is kick him in the balls. 

If there’s an opportunity, you might take it. 

“No,” you tell Josh, shooting him what you hope is a reassuring smile. “I promised you a fun night, we’re going to have a fun night if it kills me. He doesn’t deserve to take this away from us.” 

Josh smiles, a genuine one that lights up his eyes, and he nods. “That’s my girl,” he grins, and you ignore the way your heart flutters.

You’re really, honestly, very grateful that Josh has been by your side for months, but it would’ve been more practical if it hadn’t made you fall in love with him.

You don’t know exactly when it happened. It wasn’t one big moment. It was all the small moments, drying your tears on his shirt and his arms around you, his lips softly pressed against your forehead and his snarky remarks making you laugh, calling to check up on you or texting you memes just to get your mind off it. 

Maybe you’ve always loved Josh, since the very first day you met him. You know you certainly had a crush on him for the first year of your friendship, but you figured he wasn’t interested in you that way and so you just kinda pushed those feelings away. But now they’re back and it feels like they’re planning to stay. 

“Let’s get drunk,” Josh says, leaning a little closer to talk in your ear to get over the music, and he gives your arm a quick squeeze before making his way to the bar. He says something to Seth on the way and not even five seconds later he appears at your side.

“So the ex is here, huh?” Seth says. “You alright? Call if you want us to bust his kneecaps.” 

You giggle; there’s something hilarious about the idea of Seth busting anyone’s kneecaps, even though you know he most definitely could. It’s just, well, Seth is maybe the nicest, purest soul you’ve ever met. You can’t even picture him hurting a fly. 

“You laugh,” Seth grins, “but I’m pretty sure Josh is about ready to commit murder. He’s pissed, dude.” 

Your eyes find Josh in the crowd and indeed, there’s a clear tension in his shoulders and his hands are gripping the bar with so much force his knuckles are turning slightly white. 

You’ve only really ever seen him like that on the ice, and although it’s hot - it probably shouldn’t be, with it being violence and all, but hey, you’re a simple woman, and he looks hot after fights - you’re not excited about the prospect of having him knock out your ex boyfriend. 

“I’ve got it covered, Jonesy,” you tell Seth with a grateful smile. “Thanks, though. If I need help containing Josh, I’ll call you.” 

Seth holds up his hands in defense. “Hey, I offered to take out your ex, I’m not doing shit with Josh. He’s mean. And big.” 

At least a full head taller than your ex and with twice the amount of muscle mass, probably. Nope, you definitely can’t let him punch David, even if the idea might be at least a little enticing. 

When Josh returns with your drinks, you playfully bump your shoulder into his arm and start cheerily talking about anything and everything, in an attempt to distract him, and it seems to work. Only half an hour the mood has lightened immensely and your glasses are empty.

“I’ll get the next round,” you say, and Josh taps your waist as you walk past.

“Put it on my tap.” 

You roll your eyes but you’ll definitely take him up on his offer; it’s only fair, since you didn’t want to go out and he basically forced you, and now you were breathing the same air as David the cheater.

“Two more, please?” you ask the bartender, who sends you a nod, and goes to get your drinks. 

Almost, you make it. But the second the bartender puts your drinks on the bar a familiar voice speaks.

“Hey, Y/N. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” 

All the hairs on the back of your neck stand up at the sound and for a second, you wonder if you should just turn and run, but then you realize he’s not got that kinda power over you.

He can’t.

So you plaster a fake smile on your face and turn around. “Hello, David.” 

His eyes roam over your body with a clear interest and he smiles. “Looking good.” 

You know you do, and you would’ve told him the same, except, well, he doesn’t. There’s dark circles under his eyes and his skin is pale, and he looks like he lost weight; even if there wasn’t much to lose in the first place.

“Thanks,” you say. “How’s Vanessa?” It’s a bit of a low blow but you can’t stop yourself, and you also can’t stop the smug smile when his face falls.

“We’re, uh, we decided to call it quits.” 

“We?” you repeat, because you have a feeling you know what happens.

“Uhm, no, just, uh, she did. She didn’t really want a serious relationship.” He looks genuinely sad when he speaks again. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Look, I know I messed up, but if you ever need anything...”

Suddenly the words die on his lips and there’s a fearful look on his face. You feel two strong arms wrap around your waist and there’s the familiar smell of Josh’s cologne mixed with his laundry detergent, so you don’t hesitate to lean back into the touch. 

“If she needs anything, she can call me.” You don’t think you’ve ever heard Josh’s voice so icy cold and when you look up at his face there’s a fire burning behind his eyes, that reminds you off his on-ice fighter look. With them standing so close it’s painfully obvious that Josh could probably knock David out with one fist to the face, so you move your hand, casually dragging your fingers down Josh’s arm, to tell him you’ve got it covered. 

“Yeah,” you repeat, deadpanning, “You don’t have to worry about me.” 

David’s eyes travel from you to Josh and he frowns. “Oh, are you two, like, together, now?” 

No. 

“Yep,” Josh says, popping the P. “And what me and her have is different from what you had, because I actually fucking love her the way she deserves to be loved. Like you never could.” 

David flinches at the harsh tone in Josh’s voice and even you struggle to find words; you know he’s just trying to get rid of your ex but God do you wish he means it. 

David lets out a nervous laugh. “So are you gonna break my nose now or something?” 

Josh cocks his head to the side, shrugs. “No,” he says, “if she wants to break your nose, she’s perfectly capable of doing that herself. My girl ain’t one to play with.” His voice lowers; there’s a clear warning when he speaks. “But I’ll be staying close, David.” 

Your ex swallows, squares his shoulders. “Right. Well, the best, then.” The words fall over his lips in a hurry and you’re pretty sure he almost trips as he scurries away as fast as he can. You feel Josh relax behind you, but only slightly. 

“I really want to put that guy’s lights out,” he whispers, and you turn around to face him.

Except his arms are still around your waist and now you’re a little closer than you expected to be, your chest pressed up against his as he breathes heavily, eyes still darkened by adrenaline. 

“But you let me handle it,” you say softly. “Thank you, Josh. It means a lot that you trusted me to deal with him.” 

Something softens in his face, then, as his eyes find yours. “Y/N, you’re a badass. I wasn’t lying to him, I know you could break his nose if you wanted to.” He lets out a breathy laugh. “It would’ve just given me a lot of satisfaction to do it myself.” 

“He’s not worth it,” you tell him, and Josh sighs.

“No, I suppose he’s not.” He leans down a little, his forehead almost resting against yours but not quite, because, well, he’s stupidly tall. “I can’t believe that weasel was my friend.” 

You feel a sharp jab of pain in your heart, at that. David might’ve been an asshole to you, but he never did anything to Josh personally. “You didn’t have to stop being friends with him for me, Josh. He didn’t break your heart.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Josh laughs but there’s no humor behind it, just pain and bitterness. “Seeing you hurt, hurt me more than anything that fucker could’ve done to me. I mean...” He pauses, eyes glancing down to your lips again then looking back up to lock with yours. “If they cross you, they cross me.”

His words send warm shivers down your spine and for a second, you wonder if he meant it, what he said before about loving you. With how close he is standing, and with the way he’s looking at you, it’s hard to remember that you’re just friends. 

“Josh,” you say softly, “you gotta stop being so perfect, because you’re raising my standards to the point where I might never find another boyfriend again.” 

A strangled noise escapes Josh’s lips. “God, you don’t get it, do you?” he groans, and then his forehead actually drops against yours and your stomach flips. There’s something in his eyes, still dark but different, now, and it’s hard to read. “Nothing I said to David was a lie. I fucking love you. More than he ever could, hell, more than anyone ever could.” 

One of his hands moves to your face, thumb tracing your cheekbone as the tips of his fingers curl around your jaw. 

“I don’t want you to find another boyfriend. I want you to find me.” 

And well, if David had to break your heart in order for you to end up in Josh’s arms, all the pain was worth it. So you push up on your tiptoes and press your lips against Josh’s; he responds immediately, kissing you with a passion that has your toes curling and your heart beating in your throat and you reach up and thread your fingers through his hair. 

When he pulls away, his eyes flicker to something behind you, and a smug smirk falls over his face. 

“David is staring at us. Can I punch him now?” 

“No,” you mumble, “but you can kiss me again, just to drive the point home.” 

And he has no problem doing that. 

[candyshua]

It’s a Long Way Home | Chapter 4

Pairing: Joshua x Minghao x Reader

Synopsis: It was dark, and then it was light. You’re finally lucid. After 15 years of not being conscious, you wake up in a desolate and post-apocalyptic earth where infected flesh-eating beings roam the streets. Soon enveloped into a mysterious group of survivors, you consistently wonder who they are. But most importantly, who are you?

Genre: Heavy angst, some fluff here and there

Warnings: Gore, bad language, physical & verbal abuse

Word Count: 2.6k

Throughout the time period of a few weeks, you drifted in and out of consciousness hazily. Joshua and Minghao checked up on you daily, along with Cleo, Margo, Junhui, and of course Seungkwan. You were high on morphine for the majority of the first week, the second week you slept most of the time. The third week is when you started to slowly get better, recuperating with baby steps. The fourth week is when you were again coherent, and most of your bruises and wounds had healed. Of course, there would be some scars that never faded.

Throughout your hazy isolated rendezvous, you had dreamed of many things. You were convinced some of the dreams were memories, but you couldn't remember them. All you could process is that there was a doctor whom you were terrified of.

Now on the fifth week, you decided to contribute to Fort Lockwood. You had gained everyone's trust (even Junhui's) much to your surprise. Today, you were to go back to your assigned house, where you'd live with Cleo and Margo. They welcomed you warmly, for which you were eternally grateful. Everyday, you'd help out just about everywhere, until working with Seungkwan is where you realized you were much more useful than you thought.

Many important bits of knowledge came to your head while helping out various patients, until you realized that you were very educated on the topic of medicine. You knew how to address a wound, what medication to give them, yet you were still frustrated. Where had you learned this?

One night, while walking back from a shift at the community "hospital", Joshua had approached you. You walked in each other's silence quite comfortably, until he broke it. "Are you okay?" He asked, and you knew he wasn't asking about your injuries, or your recent experiences with Seungcheol, he was just asking you if you were comfortable.

"Slowly, memories are coming back to me. I don't know if I'm okay, but I don't think I am." You admitted, the two of you walking down the sidewalk. You reached his house, and he made the notion for you to come in, and you did so quietly. Junhui was passed out on the couch, so the two of you sneaked quietly up stairs. You arrived in his room, which was next to Minghao's (his door was closed which did not surprise you in the slightest). His room was quite plain, the beige walls and king sized bed were the main parts of it. There was a plain wooden dresser, and the floor itself was a tan rug. His curtains were closed (it was a rule to do so at night when a lamp was turned on), but you had a feeling it'd be closed anyway. What grabbed your attention was a picture on his nightstand. It was a framed, old photo, with him and what looked like his mother in front of the Statue of Liberty. You picked up the frame without thinking, while Joshua closed the door. He looked over to you and you smiled shyly, and he didn't know why he smiled so easily around you, but he just did.

You two sat on the floor of his room, legs crossed while you held one of his pillows. He admired the way you leaned on the pillow you head, your cheek squished against the soft material. "Can I tell you a secret?" You questioned, positioning yourself to a more upright pose. Joshua merely nodded. "I-I'm not okay. But no one is, because everybody has lost somebody, but I just lost myself." You admitted, Joshua's intent gaze on you the whole time.

"Can I tell you a secret?" He said, and you nodded just like he did. "I'm really fucking scared, Y/N. I don't know how exactly I became the leader of this place, and I don't know what to do with it. I just want to keep the human race alive for as long as possible. But it's hard when people are trying to kill you, and it's even harder when you kill them. I've done a lot of fucked up shit, but everybody has. Everybody. I'm just afraid that this is it for us - humans - I'm afraid that there will be no more future generations to clean up the mess that was created. I'm just so scared." Joshua rambled, his brown eyes sad and intent while his soft voice said all the words that made him more likable. You looked up into his eyes, those beautiful brown orbs swimming with many unreadable emotions. You swallowed.

"I'm scared too. I'm getting to know myself, all while comprehending the fact that I killed people when I could've solved it differently, but I killed them." You said, eyes distant and empty.

"We have all killed. Even the kids here have, it's what you do to stay alive. The first person I killed was my mother." He said, those words hanging in the air. You sucked in a sharp breath, letting him continue.

"She was bitten. I shot her before she could turn. This was about six months in, and a part of me still isn't over it. It's a miracle that I've survived three whole years in this mess, but I stayed alive for her. So her death wouldn't be another meaningless end to a sad unlucky life." He explained.

"You've managed to stay a good person throughout all of this. I think that's why you're the leader of this place," You began abruptly, "because you're genuine. Your intentions aren't malicious, you aren't power hungry nor evil. You're a good human being, and that's why you're still alive. It may seem like the evil people rule this world now, or those infected things, but if you manage to stay a good person you're stronger than other those other evil bastards. You're strong, Josh."

He gave you a small but authentic smile, and you returned it shyly. You were glad that you came across a person like Joshua throughout this horrendous confusing life, because with him you felt a little less lost. "I should get going." You muttered, standing up. But Josh reached up to your wrist and held it, looking up at you with hooded, tired eyes.

"Stay." He almost pleaded, so you sat down next to him immediately. You wanted to stay anyway.

-

You didn't realize how long you two had been talking until it started to get a little lighter outside. You told Joshua everything that you could remember, from waking up in the city to your experiences with Seungcheol. You talked about your memories, showed him your scar, and tried to figure out what your memories meant with him. But in between those heavy topics, lighthearted ones bloomed peacefully. You'd share the occasional giggle with him, along with playful banter. It felt like you had known Josh for years, and he felt the same. His heart felt light when talking to you, which was quite odd. Even when talking to his best friends, the stress of responsibility weighed him down. But when talking with you, he forgot all of his troubles in the world. His undivided attention was focused on you, and you only.

"Have we been talking for that long?" You giggled, and he nodded with a light frown on his face. You heard the door of Minghao's room creak open, to which you looked at Joshua confusedly.

"He gets up at dawn, and goes and works out in our gym." Joshua explained, and you nodded. "If you want to sleep, go ahead. I don't get much sleep anyway, so this won't affect me much."

"I don't get much sleep either, to be quite honest." You admitted, so you walked downstairs with Josh and started making breakfast with him. "What are the plans for today?" You asked while Joshua was frying eggs.

"Since you're kind of weak from all of your injuries, Minghao is going to train you today, since he just wants you back in shape. When you finish eating, head over there ASAP."

"'ASAP?'" You questioned.

"As soon as possible." Joshua chuckled, and you nodded innocently.

-

To be quite honest, you needed to get back in shape. You became soft after five weeks of doing absolutely nothing, and softies didn't survive in this world. "Hey Minghao." You greeted, walking into their "gym" casually. It was merely the basement of their "hospital" with punching bags, various equipment, and some mats.

"Mhm." The preoccupied Minghao responded. He was sprinting on a treadmill, his harsh eyes completely focused on the task at hand.

"It's Y/N. I'm here for 'training'." You further explained, which caused him to realize that it was you, and then turn off the treadmill.

"Hi."

"Hey! How are-"

"I'm so sorry." Minghao interrupted, which only made you chuckle lightly.

"I know, and I forgive you. We've been over this many times." You responded, with a warm grin plastered on your face.

"I'm such a pussy. I shouldn't have ran, it was selfish of me. I only ran because I needed to get more people so we could come and save you, Y/N. I would never run solely to save myself-"

"I know." You sarcastically said, already exhausted.

-

Within 15 minutes of your training session, you were burnt out. But, Minghao was merciless. He pushed you until you physically couldn't move, and the moment you could you were back on your feet.

You worked on your fighting, your stamina, and your overall strength. You lifted weights, ran for what felt like hours, swung at the punching bags mercilessly, and now it was time to face off with him. "Please go easy." You huffed.

Minghao couldn't help but find you incredibly cute. Whenever he trained, he became serious, strict, and quite mean. You were no exception, but your cuteness definitely challenged him. "No." He spat, and you rolled your eyes.

To be fair, you held up a good fight. It took Minghao a good fifteen minutes to pin you to the ground, and even then you still fought. You struggled underneath his tight grip, his legs sprawled across you so you couldn't kick him. "Ughhh!" You groaned, which resulted in a slight smirk on Minghao's end.

He lied next to you on the mat you just fought on, breathing slightly quicker than usual. He was barely fazed, unlike you, you were a glistening sweaty mess whose breathing could not slow down. Suddenly, a pang reverberated through your head. You closed your eyes, knowing what exactly was about to happen.

"You need to learn all of these things, Y/N, so you can survive when you're down there." Your father explained while you were hunched over, hands on your knees.

"I know, Dad. I'll try harder." You promised, and the both of you knew that your promises were sacred. You continued to fight with your father, until you managed to flip him over when he attacked you. He landed with a loud thud, but he showed no sign of pain.

"Good job, Y/N!" He encouraged, and you wore a genuine smile after succeeding. Smiling was a rare occasion, so your dad savored the moment. He savored every moment with you, because you were the most important thing to him. He loved you, and he made sure you knew that while you still could.

You were sixteen, and at that age you were a desperate and curious soul. You would indulge in books about medicine, human anatomy, and much more. Learning is what kept you sane, along with your dad.

"One more round, Y/N." Your father demanded, and you nodded and got back up. He loved you so much, and you would never remember how much he did.

"Oh my god." You said breathlessly, holding your head in a hunched over position. Minghao's worried face was actually quite cute, and he held you trying to calm you down. Each time you remembered something, the pain was less severe. "Minghao...I think I know why I can fight. My father taught me." You mumbled, while Minghao furrowed his eyebrows.

"What?"

"My father. He trained me how to fight, so I could survive while I'm 'down there'." You explained.

"What?"

"My exact thought." You responded. Was "down there" here? Why was earth down? Where were you at that time?

"Y/N, your memories will come back slowly. But eventually, all of your questions will be answered." Minghao said with an insightful tinge to it. A few moments of comfortable silence passed until Minghao spoke up again. "Y/N," He began, "why'd you tell me to run? Why did you save me, instead of yourself?"

"Because, people need you. You're important. I'm not." You muttered, shrugging casually. You soon felt his hands on your shoulders, long, calloused fingers and a large palm. He forced you to face him, his brown eyes boring into your irises, while he clenched his jaw tightly.

"You're important to me." He stated, his words leaving a thick tension in the air. "Don't ever pull shit like that again, I was worried sick about you."

"But you barely knew me." You argued, which was quite true.

"People who go out of their way to save my life are automatically important to me. You have saved me twice now, and I owe you just about everything. I'm sorry if I'm a jerk at times, it's just who I am, but don't ever doubt your importance."

His gaze was intense, and you - a naturally dominant person - felt vulnerable under his dominant eyes.

"Minghao," You muttered, "who are you?"

He sighed. He knew he owed it to you, you had to know who exactly he was. You deserved to know the horrible things he had done, because he knew that you enjoyed his company, but usually nobody ever does once they find out the truth.

You had learned that his parents were Chinese immigrants, so he was fluent in the language. You had also learned he had a girlfriend he was engaged to when the outbreak began, and he watched her turn because he was too scared to save her. "I just stood there, frozen, as the love of my life died right in front of me." Is what he had said specifically.

He also told you about what that had turned him into. After the death of his girlfriend, he became a monster. He killed survivors, stole their supplies, and continued to live on his own.

That was until one night, when Joshua, Junhui, and Seungkwan weren't important figures but mere struggling survivors, came across Minghao in a house on Lockwood Street. He had begged for them to kill him, because he was horrible, he was a monster, worse than the infected. He was a fucking monster.

But they refused. And slowly, Minghao unwound his past to them, thinking he was horrible. But he changed, and slowly he got over the love of his life, and he built Fort Lockwood with them, and two women they met along the way.

He expected you to hate him, and spit on him like you did with Seungcheol. Instead, you hugged him. "I'm glad I saved you." You whispered in his ears, the soft echoes of your voice making the hairs on his neck stand up straight.

"When you're lost, you let yourself go. You lose all sense of who you are, and I never exactly had one in the first place. But if it weren't for you and your group, who knows what would've happened? You don't need my forgiveness, nor your victims' forgiveness as well. You need your own, Hao." You stated sagely, giving him a spontaneous new nickname.

He was taken aback by how wise your words were, and how much he needed them. You were completely right, and it surprised Minghao to no end. Instead of dwelling over your words, he got back up.

"We need to continue training," He said, but he did that for selfish reasons. He needed you to get back in shape, so that you could protect yourself again. He needed you to survive.

He just needed you.

[bensakindofmagic]

Chapter Eight

Warnings: swears, smoking (which is real bad kiddos, but I couldn’t help it, it looks so sexy)

A/N: we’re back to some good ol’ fashioned ben content here folks, and it’s all unrequited fluff (that is a term i have coined, feel free to use it, i think it’s perfect).

w/c: 3.5k+

Chapter Eight

The next week went by in a blur. You were filming the Japan tour, which made you hellishly busy. Having so many extras in one room, along with all the lights and sound tech, kept you on your toes constantly. You hung out with the guys when you could but often you were called away the second you sat down. You would always groan and roll your eyes exaggeratedly, but part of you was glad for the work. It kept your mind off everything. Ending things with Matteo, even though they had been so short-lived, weighed heavily on you.  It brought all the memories of the first time tumbling back in like a crack in a dam, and the effort of not getting sucked under the waves was exhausting. On top of it all, the lack of any possibility with Matty sent your mind reeling back to Ben, and it didn’t help that he looked so fucking good in the costume. That white, fringed waistcoat had you all but drooling, and kept finding yourself staring at the necklaces that fell against his chest, bouncing softly with the rhythm of his drumming. After all the emotional turmoil of the last week you were exactly where you started, with an inappropriate crush on a colleague, only now you had the trauma of a past heartbreak woven in. Great. 

On the plus side, Josh seemed to finally be getting the hint and leaving you alone to do your job, even if he was a little sulky with you.

“Y/N, can you come help us for a second,” you heard Joe call, as they waited around for Rami to sort something out with Polly. 

“What d'you need?” you asked when you reached them. 

“We have a very important question we need your considerable expertise to answer,” he continued.

“Does this top make me look more like a dove or an albatross?” Gwil asked with absolute solemnity. You had to smile to yourself at their blatant efforts to spend time with you.

“Oh, for sure an albatross, you’re far to big to be a dove,” you confirmed, mimicking his tone. Joe gave a triumphant, “I knew it.” 

“But I’m so graceful! Albatrosses are such lanky things,” he pouted.

“Um, I believe the plural is albatroi,” Joe teased with mock snobbishness.

You smirked, ignoring him and turned to Gwil, “I think they’ve very majestic. Just because something is big it doesn’t make it less beautiful,” you cooed, standing up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. You turned to leave but as you did Joe moaned, “Where are you going?” 

Before you could respond with a sarcastic, “To do my job”, he complained, “We’ve barely seen you this week, we miss you, Y/N.” 

Ben piped up for the first time, “Are you really so busy that you can’t have a conversation with us?”

You felt guilt washing over you as you met their eyes, the three of them looking at you like abandoned puppies, desperate for attention. 

“I’m sorry guys, I’ve just had a lot on my plate the past few days.”

“Exactly, that’s why you should be hanging out with us, your friends, to take your mind off it all.”

“It’s not like I don’t have any work to do,” you defended. 

“Not in the evenings! You keep blowing us off.” 

“Next time, I promise.” 

“Tonight, my place,” Ben said assuredly, like he wouldn’t take no for an answer. For a moment you were distracted by a trickle of sweat running down the hollow where his collarbones met. “I live not far from here, we can get in some beers and snacks, have a chill one. Most of us don’t have to be in tomorrow.” Only Rami was due on set the next day.

You nodded, knowing full well that there would be no getting out of it even if you wanted to, but the thought of spending a night with the boys was actually quite a comfort. I would be good to relax and let loose a bit, have some fun.

“Okay, tonight.” 

Nervous energy infected Ben for the rest of the day. He was exited to spend time with you again, especially outside of work. You’d been distant, and he missed your tenacity, your unbridled excitement to work, to be part of the family that was celebrating something so wonderful. He missed the way you had always showed up to work grinning, infecting the rest of them with your enthusiasm. As much as it pained him to see you so deflated, he couldn’t deny his relief when you’d told them about breaking things off with Matteo. It made him finally realise that he had to do something about his feelings for you, even if you rejected him; he couldn’t keep pining after you, wishing something would happen between you but never trying to make that a reality. He couldn’t risk seeing you with someone else again, at least not without telling you how he felt. If you met someone else and he lost his chance he’d never forgive himself. 

As he let you all into his apartment he thanked God that he’d recently cleaned. Lucy had been invited along too, and arrived soon after you guys got there from set. She’d only done a few days with everyone but she was already fitting effortlessly into the group. And you could see they way she and Rami looked at each other, even if they couldn’t yet. You looked around Ben’s place, a little nervous at the intimacy of it — being in his home, his private space. The front door opened to an open-plan living room and kitchen with a large island separating them, and a couple of sofas clustered round the TV. The corridor led to two other others rooms, you presumed the master bedroom and a guest room, and the bathroom. The decor was minimalistic, mostly white and grey with some bright green notes from a couple of houseplants, but there was a ruggedness to it, like a layer of venire was hiding something more unkempt. It looked like him. 

You noticed a couple of dog bowls in the corner of the kitchen. “You didn’t tell me you have a dog!” you squealed. 

“Yeah Frankie, she’s a beagle. My parents are looking after her while I’m filming.” He showed you a picture of him with a very young looking puppy laying in his arms. He seemed so soft in his hoodie with his tousled hair, as he looked down at the little pup, holding one of her paws affectionally between his fingers. What a precious dad. 

“That’s adorable.” You were talking about Frankie, of course. Ben didn’t need to know that you really meant him. 

“Who wants a cold beer?” he called, taking cans out of the fridge and restocking it with the ones you had bought on the way there. The chucked one to you, which you caught and tapped the top to get rid of the bubbles. While the others opened their drinks and made themselves comfortable on the sofas, you instinctively went to the cupboards to help. 

“You can sit down, you know,” Ben said, glancing you over his shoulder. 

“I know,” you shrugged, “Where do you keep your bowls?”

He motioned to a cupboard and you got a couple out to serve the snacks in. 

“I thought I was supposed to be hosting.” 

“Everyone can use an extra pair of hands,” you smiled, popping a peanut into your mouth. 

“Chuck me one of those,” he said, so you did. He tried to catch it in his mouth but it hit his chin and bounced onto the floor. You giggled, “Here, try agin.” The second time he caught it and grinned widely, “Nailed it.” 

“Dream team.”

You started to make your way over to the others, hands full with snacks.

“Bring my beer with you when you sit down, will you?”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied. 

You were sat on the floor beside Ben’s legs due to the lack of sofa space. You didn’t mind, Rami and Lucy were curled up together on the smaller sofa (apparently they did know it, because they could barely keep their hands off each other), Gwil was on the armchair, and Joe and Ben were on the bigger sofa. You could have squeezed on but you were more comfortable on the floor, your legs curled up to your side, leaning ever so slightly against Ben’s calf.

“Okay, so who would win in a fight between Freddie and Lady Gaga?” joked Joe.

“Excuse me, why on earth would they be fighting?” you interjected with incredulity.

“Hypothetically,” he said rolling eye eyes emphatically.

“Hypothetically, they would hug and fangirl over each other and probably sing a beautiful duet in perfect harmony.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he relented.

“I’ve got one,” you said, shifting your weight, “who would win in a fight between John Deacon and Eugene Sledge?”

“Ooph, that’s a tough one,” Joe hesitated.

“Sledge, surely,” Ben reasoned, “he’s a trained marine.”

“Yeah but Deacy is scrappy, I think he could hold his own,” you hummed. 

“Okay, what about Angel versus Roger,” Joe offered.

Ben grunted, “That’s not fair, Angel has superpower wings.”

“Rog v. Walter?” you suggested.

Gwil roused from his sleepy silence, “Who’s Walter?” 

“From Woman in White.”

“You watched that?” Ben muttered, looking down at you with mild astonishment.

“Mmm,” you hummed affirmatively. “You look good in period costume. I particularly love the sideburns,” you joked. 

“Oh fuck off,” he nudged your arm with his knee. You giggled, but the image of Ben in those baggy white linen shirts lingered in your mind’s eye.

“Gwil, wake up,” Joe scolded, throwing a bottle top at the welshman. It hit him in the face and he jolted upright. “Sorry, the beer’s making me drowsy.”

“Let’s put some music on,” you proposed, and Ben motioned to his speaker, inviting you to play something.

You played Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol, and instantly started to sway your hips to the drum beat, letting the rhythm travel up your body once the guitar came in. 

“Excellent choice Y/N,” Joe praised, tapping his foot appreciatively. 

True to the lyrics, you danced around the middle of the room, kicking your feet and unapologetically enjoying yourself. Before long Rami and Lucy got up too, and shimmied around together, laughing adorably as they tried not to step on each other’s feet. 

You glanced at Ben, only to see he was already watching you. You beamed, shaking your hair out and you pointed at him, “Get up here, Hardy.” He shook his head with a laugh, but you weren’t having it. The beers had loosened your inhibitions and you wanted to dance with him, so that’s what you were going to do. You leant down, still swinging your hips and grabbed his hand, taking his beer and putting it on the table. You pulled him to his feet and purred, “Dance with me.”

“I’m a terrible dancer,” he whined, but you didn’t care. You pulled his body close to yours and let your hips loose. You ran your hands through your hair, letting hang down over your shoulders, and bopped your head to the beat. Shimmying round in circles, and pulling Ben along with you when he got too static, you laughed and smiled, letting your heart soar for the first time in weeks. 

“You look happy,” Ben murmured. 

You smiled, “You said that’s what I deserve, right? Someone who makes me happy?”

“Right,” a wistful smiled pulled at his mouth. Bright green met your eyes and confidence seemed to flash there as he said, “Who made you this happy?”

A grin split your face, and you tugged at your lip with your teeth. “Me,” you beamed and rushed to  play Good as Hell by Lizzo. That song was exactly what you needed, and you belted along, tossing your hair and grinding your hips unashamedly. You watched Ben over your shoulder and smirked at the look of awe and hunger painted over his features. Seducing him would of course be a terrible idea, and you definitely weren’t trying to, but you couldn’t help but shimmy a little harder when you saw him watching. In the end though you were dancing for yourself.

When the song ended you were sweating and decided you needed some air. 

“I’ve got a balcony, here I’ll come with you,” Ben said after you had inquired.

You followed him, grabbing your beer as you went. You shut the door behind you and sucked in the cool November air. It was crisp, a welcome refresher. You took a sip of your drink and watched as Ben pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. He slipped one into his mouth and, raising an eyebrow to you, offered you one. 

You nodded, “Cheers,” and leaned in towards the lighter he held up. Puffing lightly, you watched the flame dance in the moonlight. With the cigarette lit you inhaled deeply, letting the tobacco burn your throat a little and the nicotine make you lightheaded. 

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Ben mused as lit his. The way he sucked in his cheeks, the cigarette dangling from his lips, had you all but dripping with desire. 

“I don’t,” you responded, “But I went to uni.”

He nodded, understanding the implication, “I’m trying to cut down. Smoking kills and all that.”

You simpered, “It just looks so damn sexy though.”

“Right?” he chuckled, the sound rumbling deep in his throat. He raised his hand to his mouth to inhale, lifting his chin and extending his bottom lip as he did. Your eyes skimmed over the veins in his hand, protruding like a Renaissance sculpture. You licked your lips and took a drag.

“So tell me Benjamin, how’s it going with this crush of yours?” you pried, “You know, you still haven’t told me who she is. Assuming it is a she, of course.” 

He scoffed and shook his head, “It’s a she.” 

“You laugh but it could very easily have been Joe,” you giggled. Ben just took another drag, and looked out over the city below.

You persisted, “The fact that you haven’t told me who she is makes me think I must know her.”

Still he refused to look at you, so you nudged him with your elbow. 

“You could say that,” he mumbled. Triumph and envy swelled in you in equal measure. “I’m still not telling you who she is.”

“You told her how you feel yet?” He shook his head, dejected.

“What are you waiting for?” you asked with genuine curiosity.

“A sign she likes me back.”

“Ben, how could she not? Have you looked at yourself lately?” you said, incredulous. He gave a bitter laugh. “I mean it Ben, seriously. You’re kind, and smart, and passionate. I’ve seen your capacity for love, I can see it in your face when you talk about her, and she would be so lucky to be loved by you. Whoever she is.”

Smoking the last of your cigarette in silence, you looked up at the cloudless night sky, and admired the stars. You shivered as the bitter chill infected your skin.

“You cold?” 

“It’s my own fault,” you shook your head, “I should have brought a jacket.” He unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off, offering it to you. You took it gratefully and hugged it around your body, letting the heat still held in the fabric from Ben’s body envelop you. He rubbed his hands up and down your arms to warm you further, his biceps tightening where they emerged from the sleeves of his tshirt, and the veins in his forearms swelling. 

You hummed, “Thanks,” and met his eyes. They glistened, pupils blown in the dark, streetlights reflecting like constellations. There was something twinkling in them, something tender and inviting; you wanted to swim in them.

“You’ve got goosebumps,” you breathed, looking from his bare flesh to his face through your lashes.

“I’m okay,” he murmured. Little you knew, the bumps on his skin were as much from the cold as his proximity to you and the way you looked at him.

You unwrapped the jumper from around you and took a step towards him, leading his arms to wrap around your waist and then pulled it closed behind him. He shivered infinitesimally from your heat. Every inch of your torso was pressed against his, muscular arms pulling you so tight, but still you didn’t feel close enough. You let your head rest against his chest, feeling it rise and fall with his deep, steady breaths. You inhaled the scent of him, natural and elemental, like a forest after rain. It was a forest you wanted to get lost in. A contented hum resounded somewhere deep in your chest and the vibrations of your body syncopated with his. Your eyes drifted shut and you succumbed to him, allowing him to infuse into your senses.

“You know,” he cooed, you could hear the smile in his voice, “We could go inside.”

“Not yet.”

You stayed like that for a little while, indulging your desire for intimacy, until the chill penetrated and you shivered. You followed Ben back inside, and when you offered him his jumper back he declined, saying, “Keep it on, it looks good on you.”

Your cheeks flushed discreetly. He took his seat on the sofa and you settled yourself beside him, squeezing into the gap between him and Joe.

“What have you lot been gossiping about then?” you said as you tucked your legs beneath you. 

“That guy Josh who kept hitting on you,” Rami explained. 

“That must have been horrible, Y/N,” Lucy gushed sympathetically. 

“It’s okay, I think he got the message eventually.”

“How come you said no? Just cause you work together?” Gwil questioned. 

You shrugged, “I mean I wasn’t attracted to him, but working together basically put paid to it from the start.”

“Would you ever break the rule?” Joe asked.

You had to stop yourself from glancing at Ben, but the urge was instinctive. “If had an absolute guarantee that it wouldn’t come back to bite me then sure, but no one can guarantee that.”

“What do you mean, ‘come back to bite you’?”

“Say I slept with you Joe,” you ignored his self-satisfied smirk, “and maybe one of us developed feelings for the other, or it got awkward between us, or we fell out, that could cost me my job and my reputation.”

“Oh come on, you wouldn’t get fired for hurt feelings,” he scoffed. 

“No Joe, you wouldn’t get fired for hurt feelings, I very much could. I’m expendable. If you kicked off and it damaged the on-set environment, the easiest way to solve that problem is to remove one of us, and it sure as hell won’t be you that gets sacked.”

The guys seemed shocked: they had clearly never thought of it from the perspective of those on the other side of the camera.

“Surely they wouldn’t just fire you though?” Gwil reasoned. 

You scoffed, “Producers like quick, easy solutions. Firing me and hiring one of the hundreds of people who would cut off their arm for this job is quick and easy. Believe me, they would.”

“You’re not expendable, Y/N,” Ben asserted. You opened your mouth to retaliate, but he cut you off, “You’re amazing at your job, I’ve never felt so at home on set and that’s down to you. You understand people, you know how to get the best out of everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if this film collapsed without you.”

You smiled bashfully, a little embarrassed but warmed by his words. “Thanks, Ben,” you breathed.

“Okay, so if there was one person you’d break the rule for, who would it be?” Joe pressed. 

Ben’s name danced on your tongue. “Oh Hardy, for sure,” you smirked at the look on Joe’s face, “Tom, that is.” 

“Tom Hardy?” 

“Yeah, I’m really into the whole rugged bad boy thing,” you grinned. You looked pointedly at Ben who ran his tongue over his teeth under pursed lips.

You chatted aimlessly for a while, until Rami and Lucy made their excuses as they both had to be on set the next day. The scene featured just the two of them and only required a limited crew, so you’d been allowed the day off. However, you, Ben, Gwil, and Joe stayed up for hours, talking about everything and nothing. Despite the extra space you stayed curled up with Ben, at one point you laid your legs horizontally over his, and his hand rested easily just below your knee. You were vaguely aware of Joe and Gwil eyeing the effortless propinquity between you, but you didn’t care. A welcome, carefree contentedness had settled in you, and for the first time since Ben had tumbled drunk into your trailer so long ago you let yourself feel the way you did, and it set you free. Your feelings for Ben weren’t going to disappear straight away, so until they did you would just have to feel them, along with the inevitable longing that accompanied them when you reminded yourself that you couldn’t have him. But eventually they would pass, and you would move on.

tags: @anikatcmh @queen-turtle-boiii @orchideax @rogerspoison @my5secondsofneverland @mrsmazzello @ixchel-9275 @radiob-l-a-hblah @devin-marie  @luvborhap @mercurycrowley @spaghetittiesbcimgay @valeriecarolinaw @saint-hardy @caborhapch @stephanie-everlasting @coldmuffinpartycloud @drowse13 

(let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!)

[blurry-fics]

Chapter Nine

Realize That It’s Gone | Series Masterlist

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 2103

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter! :) (picture credit)

“Where’s Marenna?” you asked as you tossed your backpack down next to the door. “I thought she was going to be here today?”

“She was,” Carter answered as he closed the door behind you. “But something came up with her sister and she had to bail.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

“What? Am I suddenly not cool enough on my own now that Ren is back in the picture?” he laughed, giving you a playful punch in the shoulder. You retaliated with a shove.

“Not at all. I just have some more… information and wanted to hear what you both thought.”

“Information? That sounds serious.”

“Later, Car. I just want to hang out for a little bit.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Carter slung an arm around your shoulder and led you into the living room. You had grown to love his little apartment, crammed full of old vinyl records and music posters he had been collecting for years. It was decorated almost identically to what his bedroom had been at home, if his bedroom had contained a kitchen and proper living room. You always felt safe at his apartment and, as a result, you were always finding excuses to visit him. It was never difficult, considering Carter always loved having you over.

“Want something to drink?”

“Do you have vanilla Coke?”

Carter’s eyebrows were furrowed when he turned to you, “When did you start drinking that?”

“Car! I’ve been drinking it for years.”

“Well, no, I don’t have any vanilla Coke.”

“Root beer?” You already knew the answer to that question. Root beer was pretty much the only thing Carter drank.

“Of course.”

“Then I’ll have that.”

“One root beer, coming right up.”

You kicked your feet up onto the coffee table and let yourself sink back into the couch. A smile started to spread across your lips as you enjoyed the peace and quiet, that is, until Carter tossed a can of soda at you. It hit you squarely in the stomach.

“Carter,” you wheezed, “why?”

“Because I knew you would do that,” he smiled as he collapsed down onto the other end of the couch.

“I knew you would do that,” you mocked him under your breath as you popped open the can. It, by some miracle, didn’t explode all over your hands and the couch.

“So, what have you been up to lately?”

“Not much. Seeing Tyler every now and again, playing video games, taking care of Georgie. The usual.”

“How is Georgie being?”

“Chaotic, as always. I’m hoping that he calms down a little as he starts to get older. Maybe we can finally leave him unattended for more than a few hours at a time.”

“Yeah, Mom and Dad’s plan really backfired, didn’t it?”

“Big time,” you laughed.

You and Carter sat and talked for quite some time. He told you all about what he had been up to and filled you in on all the things Marenna had wanted to tell you. You told him all about Tyler and Josh’s new album, but made sure to keep all of the top secret details to yourself. Eventually, Carter sat up and folded his hands in front of him, a surefire sign that he was about to bring up something serious.

“Alright, we’ve caught each other up, now I want to hear about this information that you were talking about.”

You took a long sip of your root beer before setting it down on the coffee table.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“Wherever feels right.”

“Um, ok. Well, they picked me up yesterday. Tyler drove, although I guess that isn’t really important. Things were… normal, at first. The boys just talked about what they wanted to practice and what they felt like they needed to improve on. I just stared out the window and listened to Tyler’s music, although I’m pretty sure he deliberately played music that I liked. You know, so I wouldn’t get too bored.”

“This is your serious information?” Carter asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m getting there! I needed to set the scene first.”

“Ok, so everything was going completely and totally average.”

“Car-ter.”

He held his hands up in defeat, “Ok, ok, sorry. I’m done.”

“Alright, so we got to their practice space and they, well, practiced for awhile. I just listened and worked on some stuff on my laptop, which is whatever. They eventually decided to take a break, which is where things finally start to get interesting.”

“Oh thank god.”

You rolled your eyes, but continued on with your story. “You remember how I told you Josh was flirting with me when I went over to their apartment?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, he was flirty again. And it was a lot more obvious this time.”

“What was he doing?”

“It was just little things at first. He would make comments or jokingly tap his foot against my ankle. But then, before they started practicing again, we started talking about drumming and I made a comment about how I had always wanted to try it. Josh decided this was a good opportunity to let me try his drums.”

“Did you break something?” Carter asked, his eyes going wide.

“No. No! Carter, just listen. I was playing his drums, and I was absolutely atrocious. Even Tyler was laughing at how terrible the entire thing was. But then Josh offered to help and next thing I knew his arms were around me and he was helping me play the drums in the most intimate way possible.”

Your face felt hot simply from telling Carter about what had happened. When Josh had actually had his arms around you, you were pretty sure that you were going to melt. Something about how his hands had felt on yours and the way that you could feel his heartbeat against your back…

“Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“I asked how you felt about it, but I think the look on your face is more than enough of an answer.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, already pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “I was… yeah.”

“What did Tyler think about that whole exchange?”

“I’m not sure, my attention was elsewhere while it was going on. He stepped out of the room shortly after, though, and he didn’t seem too pleased.”

“So, let me guess, you’re right back to where you were when we talked earlier this week.”

“Exactly,” you sighed, reaching a hand up to rub at your shoulder.

“Have you talked to Tyler yet?”

“No. I haven’t had an opportunity, since Josh has been there every time I’m with him.”

“When are you seeing him next?”

“We’re hanging out tomorrow. I think I’ll probably bring-,” you paused upon feeling your phone start to vibrate in your pocket. “Hold on.”

You lifted your hips so that you could more easily slide your phone out of your back pocket. Your eyes went wide as you read over the name on the screen. It took three tries before it finally sunk in.

“Who is it?”

“Josh.”

“You have his number?”

“Yeah, he asked for mine last night as I was getting out of the car.”

“Are you going to answer?”

“I don’t know why he’s calling me.”

“Y/N! Come on! Answer it!”

“Ok, ok. But I’m going in the hall.”

You frantically got off the couch and half-jogged out of the apartment. There was a window at the end of the hall, so you started to wander that way as you hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, this is Y/N, right?”

“Yep, that’s me.”

“This is Josh.”

“Yeah, I, um, recognized your voice,” you laughed quietly. “And had your number.”

“Right, I forgot about that.”

“It’s alright.”

A pause.

“So, um, you’re probably wondering why I’m calling?”

“I am.”

“I had something that I wanted to ask you.”

A chill ran down your spine, but you managed to keep your voice steady.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I was… oh wow, this is harder than I thought it was going to be,” he laughed.

“It’s fine, Josh. I’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal.”

“I don’t know, it feels like a pretty big deal to me.”

“Just spit it out,” you giggled.

“Well, ok, would you maybe… possibly… want to go on a date with me?”

Ok, so maybe it was a big deal.

“A date? Like, an actual date?”

Your heart was pounding against your rib cage. Being taken on a date was a completely foreign concept to you and now that it was laid out in front of you, you weren’t entirely sure what to think. Or do, for that matter.

“Yes, an actual date. You know, like getting dressed up and getting food? I mean, I don’t want to give too much away.”

He had a plan? For a date? With you?

“Sorry, I’ve just never been asked on a date,” you exhaled. “I’m still trying to process that part of this conversation.”

“You’ve never been asked on a date?”

“Never.”

“Never ever?”

You laughed, “Never ever.”

Your head was still spinning from all this new information. The thought of going on a date with Josh was enough to have you smiling like an idiot and preventing yourself from doing a happy dance around the hallway.

“So,” Josh asked, drawing out the word. “What do you say?”

Yes. There was no hesitation. You started to say it when a new thought came zipping into your mind, stopping you dead in your tracks.

Tyler.

You still hadn’t had the talk with him about pursuing things with Josh, and there was no way you were going to agree to a date without running it by him first.

“Um, is it alright if I wait to give you an answer? There’s just a few things that I need to work out before I say anything final.”

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. And if you’re worried about saying no, I promise I won’t make it weird or anything. I just thought it was worth a shot.”

“No, no, it’s not that at all, Josh. I’ll call you tomorrow night with an answer.”

“That sounds great.”

“Um, I guess this is goodbye then?”

“Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Bye, Josh.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

You ended the call and held your phone to your chest, allowing yourself a moment to fully process everything that had just happened. After a couple deep breaths, you ran back down the hall and burst through the door of Carter’s apartment.

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” you said, hastily shutting the door behind you. “What is happening?”

Carter whipped around to face you, concern already etched across his features. “What? Is everyone ok?”

“Yeah, everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Kind of. Maybe.”

“Ok, ok, slow down. What did you and Josh talk about?”

“He asked me on a date,” you blurted out. “A real getting-food-together-and-being-romantic date.”

“And what did you say?”

“Maybe, because I still have to talk to Tyler and see if he’s ok with the whole idea.”

“I think that sounds like a solid plan, Y/N.”

“Car, this is a bad idea. Please tell me it’s a bad idea.”

“I think you’re overthinking this. It’s just one date. That’s it. I know you haven’t been on many dates-”

“No dates, actually.”

“Ok, you haven’t been on any dates, but they’re not some big deal like you think they are. It’s like hanging out, but with a slightly more romantic undertone. You’re not promising to forever be devoted to Josh or anything.”

You nodded. Slowly but surely, your heart rate was slowing back down to normal and you were starting to feel calm again.

“I know, I’m just worked up because I’ve never been asked out like this, much less by some super attractive guy like Josh. Then you add in Tyler and it just becomes this big, overwhelming mess that I can’t seem to sort out.”

“Hey, remember what we talked about. Talking to Tyler is the first step, because if he’s not cool with it, there’s no date for you to even worry about.”

“Right. You’re right.”

Carter scooted a little closer to you so that he could put his hand on your back. You took a few more deep breaths as he lightly rubbed your back.

“I just don’t know what I’m doing, Car.”

“You don’t always have to know, Y/N.”

“What if I end up with the wrong person?”

“That’s not going to happen. You’re going to end up with who you were meant to end up with.”

*     *     *     *     *

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❤ ▬▬ emotional starters to kick you in the feelings.

@robotarmjokes

   It used to be uncommon for Kat to be in one space for long. Social facades were highly upkept with them in the early days, right down to occasionally buying figures or dice from the game shop DedSec hid themselves within. Being in and out, keeping up relations with family while also still being a key player in the San Fran branch was extremely useful.

   However- and rather predictably- said outings had dropped pretty harshly when Wrench and Kat got together. Wrench was a sucker for attention and Kat was the one all too happy to give it to him; the two glued at the hip, they went a little bit of everywhere together, doing who-knows-what. (After all, not even the team could verify some of the shit they would later report back, amidst delighted giggles and flattery to their other half.)

   So when the call came in on Kat’s personal phone from their mom, who was stubbornly not backing down from a trip she wanted to take with the whole family... Kat, ever too nice for their own good, eventually relented to the pressure. Informing the crew of the news, packing up their bags, a shitton of kisses for the already attention-starved Wrench, and they were out on a plane back to NV.

   .....Wrench had never been more insufferable than he had in that week Kat was out.

   He whined, he pouted (even behind the mask; you could hear it in his voice), he wouldn’t shut up about his missing spouse and how much he was pining for them to come back... Like nobody had gotten the hint the first twenty times he informed them. It eventually had gotten on Josh’s nerves; the hacker had started wearing headphones more- the good ones- to cancel out the sounds of Wrench’s whining and moping. Or the equally sappy video calls they had.

   At least he eventually moved to the garage when he called Kat...? Then it was just other people’s choice if they wanted to walk in on....whatever they were talking about that day, whether it be mushy, casual, or suggestive. (Higher praises to the fact that Wrench showed some unusual tact; he never went too lewd around the crew and casually admitted he only got like that once back at home. They didn’t have to hear his business?! Who is this man?!?)

   Still, Kat’s return was much appreciated once they saw the update on the group chat of them on the flight home.

   “You’re finally back!!!” Sitara was the first one to greet Kat, rushing over in a hurry to hug the other, lifting them off of their feet.

   “I’m back! Yeah!!” Kat was laughing, grin bright in a rare showing of toothy smile; typically not something Kat did....much of ever. Too self-conscious. It was really nice to see.

   Marcus stepped over next, putting a bag away before giving them a one-armed hug. “Welcome back, Kool Kat,” he muttered, keeping the DedSec codename under the radar of the public around them.

   “Hail hydra,” they whispered in reply, causing Marcus to snort into laughter, shaking his head. “Act like a nerd, get the nerdisms.” Kat looked around, sharing a high-five with Josh, who was was hanging his arm out the window for one. “Speaking of nerds, where’s Wrench?”

   “Made him stay back,” Sitara replied, closing the trunk. “Had Ray drive us here, but... We knew Wrench would be holding us back from getting you fast, so... Left him behind to wait~”

   “Oh, that’s not going to go well... You know that, right?”

   “Hey, it’s worth if it means you can have your sappy shit somewhere else,” she shot back, Kat tossing their head back as they laughed, nodding.

   “A’ight. Fair enough.”

.:.

   The crew helped get Kat’s stuff out, dropping them off at the apartment they stayed at. With a chorus of goodbyes, they managed to scoot everything up into the elevator, antsy with excitement to see their husband again. What a dork... Probably so damn antsy to see them again, too..... Agh, why won’t the elevator go faster already?!?

   At the sound of luggage in the hallway, a mask poked out of a doorway, stars on the screen before swapping to hearts the second he saw his spouse trucking down the hall.

   “Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he purred, hurrying out to help with the stuff. Anything that meant they’d be home- officially- quicker and he could kiss ‘em breathless.

   “Not using your eye drops? Shame on you,” they teased. 

   “Heh, I’m pretty sure the fog in this mask is eye drops enough.”

   “Grooooossssss!”

   “I don’t know what else you expect of me, baby,” he replied smugly, grinning under the mask as he swept everything in and out of the way, waiting until Kat closed the door behind them before he took off the mask. Waiting another few moments for Kat to shrug off their laptop and backpack before sweeping them into his arms and cuddling them close with a sigh of relief. “...Missed you.”

   “I missed you, too, Reg.” They kissed his hairline gently, and with ease since he’d basically lifted them up off the floor and didn’t seem willing to put them down any time soon.

   “No, like.... I’ve missed you so much. So, so much.”

   “Don’t worry, babe.... Heh, I know,” Kat crooned, pressing more kisses to his head, brushing their lips over his birthmark and smiling warmly when he shuddered. “C’mon, get us on the couch. I wanna cuddle you proper.”

   No more words had to be said after that, Wrench more than happy to sit back into the couch, adjusting his hold until he could cuddle his spouse closer. It was a surprise he wasn’t being more handsy, but suppose the distance for even a week had him more than content for the little things, huh...? And of course, as usual, Kat would spoil him with it, hands running through his hair and caressing his face, nuzzling their noses before kissing him gently, repeatedly. Each time, Wrench sighing a melting a little more into the couch.

   “...That sucked,” he admitted quietly, arms tightening a little. “Not having you here with me... Didn’t realize how quiet and lonely this place could be without you.”

   “A cat would help, huh?” His eyes- once closed- opened to peek at Kat with a raise of his brow. They grinned, laughing breathlessly. “What can I say? I’m persistent.”

   “Mmm, I know it,” he agreed with a sigh, smile still growing on his lips. “One of the many things I love about you...but seriously. I think I’d rather go with you next time.”

   “.......You’d want to meet them?” Kat sat up straight, eyes wide. If there was one thing they were mutual on- even when getting married- it was family didn’t have to get involved. Sure, their side had gotten into a tizzy when Kat ‘fessed up later, but they stayed stubborn with Wrench’s help and support. Nobody had a “right” to be there! Kat and Wrench had wanted a private wedding, friends only!! That’s what they agreed on, and nobody had a right to pitch a fit over the lack of invites to family. They could take the ring pictures and fuck off.

   ...So to hear that Wrench would want to meet them so late into it all...

   “I mean, not meet-meet them, but if I have to be around them to be around my baby, then I’ll exist in their space.” Kat snorted at the response, smiling all over again as they kissed him quickly.

   “Just don’t start a fight with my stepdad.”

   “Mhhh, no promises.”

   It was quiet after that, Kat eventually slumping down to curl around Wrench, hands gripping his hoodie since they couldn’t get their arms around him and face nestled into his neck, cheek on his shoulder. It was warm and comfortable....and home felt so much better now that they were back together.

   “...Glad to be home again,” Kat murmured.

   “So happy you’re home,” Wrench agreed, kissing the side of their head. “...I love you, Rach.”

   “Mmm... I love you, too, Reg.” 

[alisondepartedbear]

Just Breathe

Everything is not what it seems in Swellview, a kidnapper is running amok while Henry faces some challenging trials in his life. The boy most overcome what is inside to deal with major life changes.

~~~~

Chapter One

My mind's racing. It's been like this since I got into my car this morning. Matter of fact, I've been having spells like this for weeks. My heart begins to race, the hair on my skin stands straight up, and I begin to wonder why my body is scared. I end up scaring myself more each time with every bad scenario running through my mind. Charlotte getting kidnapped, Jasper getting in harms way, my parents being used against me, someone finding out my identity, I could go on for hours.

I look up, recalling where I am now. I'm in the beginning hallway of the school at my locker.

Some kids entering the school stare at me, a few giggle, and others talking to their friends. I hate having this dumb locker. Holy shit, I don't need this too. Quickly I spin around to my locker, and close my eyes. My fingers spread out on the locker and begin to tap rhythmically. Soon my breathing slows but everyone in the hall is too loud.

"Josh told me he liked me last night!" A girl I know of as Katie Longbottom says to her friend as they walk by.

"I cannot fail another chemistry test." It was a hushed quick whisper.

The tapping gets faster as I squeeze my eyes shut. Why couldn't everyone be quiet?! This is a hallway, my god. My forehead falls against the cold metal. I thought if my breathing was normal my head and heart would stop racing. I feel as if I'm preparing for a slap on the back. Two half breaths escape me, all the muscles in my back curl around like knots. I feel like I'm dying.

A soft hand lands on my shoulder, "Hen, what's going on?"

Charlotte. I pry my eyes open to look at her. Focus on her, she makes me feel good and safe. All of her shines up at me and I cannot concentrate on a thing. Another breath heaves out.

Charlotte takes my shoulders and pulls me close to her. Her sweet perfume fills my senses, I see flowers and waterfalls. "Henry, keep your eyes on me. What am I wearing? Say five things out loud for me."

"Ear rings," I whisper. How dumb do I have to get that I can't speak? I shut my eyes.

"No, open," Charlotte whispers, and so I do. "What am I wearing?"

"Ear rings,"

She nods, wanting more. Her wide brown eyes search over my face, and I feel self conscious.

"Jean jacket, red boots,"

Charlotte smiles and squeezes my arms. My shoulder relax first, and a shake runs through my body. "Bracelet, and lipstick,"

A moment passes and I feel my back straighten, I breathe out softly all while keeping eye contact with her. Is it true if you stare long enough at someone you fall in love? Her purple lips grin up at me.

Her hand pats my chest, "Are you okay?"

I nod. "Just scared myself there. Thank you, Charlotte."

"No need to, Henry. We can swing by the nurse before class if you want."

Looking around, we're the only ones in the hallway. "How long was I standing here?" I ask.

"I don't know. But I've been with you for seven minutes."

My body feels so drained and heavy. It takes all my will and strength to open the locker and gather my book and binder. Charlotte patiently waits for me. I can feel her eyes on my back, probably wondering why this is the third time she's seen me like this. I give her a little smile, and we head to the nurse's office before Intro to Business.

I'm ashamed of breaking here. I'm ashamed every time, but when its out in the open like this I can't help but feel hopeless. Ever since the first attack, I've been terrified of someone asking me about it, because I wouldn't where to start, and I feel bad for the feelings I have.

Jasper, Charlotte, and I sat at our usual spot in the right corner of the cafeteria. It's four hours later and I'm just starting to feel better. My brain feels full, and wishy-washy. I still need a nap though. My eyes were closed most of my last period. This was a mistake coming to school. I should've stayed home.

"You gotta tell Ray I won't be at Junk'n'Stuf until six." Jasper says stirring around his lunch served soup.

"And why can't you?" Charlotte hadn't been in the same room as Jasper for more than ten minutes and she already sounds angry.

"I get the feeling Ray doesn't like me that much."

"Ha," Charlotte covers her mouth and shakes with laughter.

I laugh a bit, shaking my head. "Ray doesn't like most people. Don't take it harshly."

Jasper shifts in his seat. "Whatever. I don't care about that. Will you tell him, man?"

"Sure, man." I nod; it's not too much to do. Maybe I should wait a bit before going in and re-cooperate before patrol tonight. I yawn.

"You feeling tired, man." Charlotte says. Her hand reaches across the table and pokes mine. I want to grab her hand to try and ground myself right now.

I glance at her, not willing to make eye contact. "I'm good."

I feel like shit. I want to explain why I've been walking like a zombie most days. But I can't let it out; it hurts too much. I can't lay it all out; I'll feel naked. My best friends shouldn't be burdened by my darkest thoughts and emotions.

Entering my house, I drop my keys, jacket, and books on the land before the the stairs. After washing my face and neck and changing back into pajamas, I make a huddle in the corner of the couch. The house is cold and quiet today. Piper has cheer-leading practice now, so she's gone until six. Our parents have after work classes they take together which has left me alone most days lately. I like it because I can leave all the lights off.

I close my eyes letting the hum of the house and air conditioning take over my ears. Warmth envelopes my body; slowly I work in sections, releasing tension in my calves, back, neck, and jaw. The couch molds around me as I sink lower into the fabric and cushions. The quiet lulls me to sleep.

Charlotte and I are standing in the carpeted room of a party. The walls are covered in carved wood framed photographs of animals in Victorian clothing. Red and brown furniture were positioned everywhere as well. I don't know whose house this is; must be somebody from school, someone Charlotte knows. A few faces in the crowd seem recognizable but everything far away is blurry. When did that happen?

"Char, where are we?" I ask reaching for her arm.

She giggles at me like we're playing a joke. "What do you mean?"

"Whose house-Never-mind," I run my hands through my hair, feeling my heart start to speed up. I look down at Charlotte, and take a deep breath. "So how are you doing?"

"I'm good." Charlotte's brown eyes shine up at me as she smiles. She takes my hand and runs her thumb across the back of it. "You look handsome tonight."

"Wh-what?" Her shoulder presses against my chest, and I feel flushed. I swear she'll kill me.

Metal hits wood and I swing Charlotte behind me as I look for the source of the noise. At the top of the wall above a bookshelf, a big circle latch opened. Water starts pouring out of it.

"Henry, what are you doing? What's wrong?" She holds my arm looking at me strange.

"Do you not see that water?!" I point to what is practically a waterfall.

From the size of the room, it's not going to be long before the water drowns us. Panic kicks up in my body.

"Charlotte, we gotta get out of here."

"Okay, if you wanna leave that's okay," She smiles and grabs my hand.

But my feet won't move! I look down and see cinder blocks in the place of my feet. "What?"

By this time the water has gotten to our waists, I look back and see that water is projecting out farther and faster.

"Charlotte, please, the water! Don't you see it!"

"It's okay." She squeezes the sides of my arms three times. "There's no water."

"Char-" The water covers my mouth, forcing it down my throat and nose. My arms flail around trying to move towards the door. Looking around I see no one is freaking out about the water in the room. Everyone is looking at us, at me like I'm crazy.

"Henry, breathe! You're fine." Charlotte looks terrified.

I want to cough and scream but nothing is happening. My body convulses and Charlotte grabs hold of me. Her body shakes against mine. She looks at me and I think she's crying. Her fingers poking me in the arm.

I feel someone poking me, and I notice light in the room. "Henry, don't you have work today? Are you going?" Piper asks above me.

What did I just dream? I cough a few times making sure no water came out. Peering up at her

I yawn and nod. Then it hits me. "Piper, what is it?"

"6:42, I just got home." She says from the kitchen counter.

I snatch my phone from the coffee table. Damn it, Charlotte called three times, Jasper texted four, and Ray called five times. Shit, shit. Quickly I grab my keys off the floor and bolt outside. I could still feel the sleep in my eyes and head as I mentally yelled at myself for this. Pulling out of my driveway, I realize I hadn't even told Ray about Jasper being late. Why can't I do anything right?

"Henry, you're so stupid." I whisper gripping the steering wheel to control my anger.

Jasper was covering the main floor when I walk in. "Man, I'm so sorry for not telling Ray. I fell-"

"Charlotte covered it." He says with a smile.

I sigh, letting my shoulders relax. There's Charlotte again, saving my ass. "Alright, then I guess I'm not too late for patrol."

I look down at my watch and wince. It's 7:15 now. Ray might yell when I get to the Man Cave. I know he doesn't really mean anything by it, but sometimes the yelling and arguing gets to me. My palms start to sweat.

"When do you think I'll be able to go on patrol?" Jasper was looking down at a laptop, probably trying to work on our English paper. He said he always made better grades when he did his homework at work.

"I don't think that's in your job description, bro."

"What do you mean?"

I shake my head, already a headache was edging on. My hands cover my eyes. "I'm not arguing over this today."

Even if every inch of my body knows it's rude, I walk out of the room and to the elevator. Already exhausted, I stand in the elevator and let the doors shut. I close my eyes and lean on the wall. Maybe I could shut it off and stand in here forever. Live in here until I die so I don't have to do anything ever again. In about ten minutes, Ray is going to want to leave for patrol. We're going to be driving and walking around the known edgier part of town where a couple muggings have been happening recently. Sometimes I wonder how bad it'd be if I froze. Since first having these panic attacks, we haven't had to deal with any horrible particular idiot so I honestly wouldn't know how I'd act. Slowly I pull my arms around myself and take deep breath trying to pull myself together. I could be fine; I could die. I take another deep breath and press the elevator button.

Charlotte turns around when the door opens. She gives me a pretty smile. "Hey Hen,"

"Hey," It's breathless but I'm used to that around her. A small smile forms on my face, and I move closer to her. I lean against the desk she's sitting at. "Sorry, for unexpectedly bailing on the first little bit of work. I took an unexpected nap."

"No problem, I'm glad you got to rest a bit. Your uh...thing seemed to drain you this morning." She avoids eye contact.

"I...yeah," Maybe I should explain myself to her.

Charlotte looks at me opening her mouth to speak when Schwoz walks in. He doesn't say anything, to occupied with her new invention. But I stare back at Charlotte trying to plead with her wordlessly not to speak about this in front of him. She held an intense gaze, searching for something in me.

"Are you okay?" Her words were a soft whisper meant for us two. She moves to face me fully and leans in to my bubble.

I whisper back. "I'm fine."

A speck of anger flashes across her eyes then she says lowly. "Please, Henry, you can tell me anything."

My throat closes and I feel evil for making her worry. I turn from her concerned piercing eyes and push myself off the desk to get away from them. My chest tightens and my face gets hot indicating that I want to cry.

"Hey, kid, you ready to head out?" Ray walks in from the left room.

Already walking to the tubes, "Yeah, let's get out of here." I pop the gum into my mouth.

After transforming, Ray snaps at me for being late. It wasn't as vicious as I imagined but I still felt shame of letting him down.

"Leave him alone, Ray!" Charlotte's voice was quick and stern. She stood by the couch with her arms crossed; her little hands were squeezing her arms in frustration.

"Char," I say in a warning tone.

Missing the tone of the room, Ray points his finger at Charlotte. "Do you want to get in a fight, little woman?"

"No, she doesn't. Let's go." With a shaking voice and hands, I push Ray underneath his tube.

As we go up I see Charlotte begin to pace.

Hi! If you are reading this, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to look at this post! Please like or comment if you want me to continue posting on tumblr. I will be updating this story on fanfiction.net. My username is robotsandblankets. Have a nice day!!

Part 2

[ohprettyweeper-moved]

Caught on Fire

Part 5

Summary: A secret is revealed and, combined with a lack of sleep, leads to your first fight with Josh.  Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader Word Count: 1560 Warnings: Angst, cheating. A little bit of cursing. A/N: Not much to say, just enjoy the chapter!

Series Masterlist

A month after you and Josh made things official, you had a couple more days off, then you went on a seven-day working spree. One of the other trauma nurses went on vacation, and promised to take some of your days when she returned. Still, you knew you were going to be tired and cranky when the week ended. You gave Josh fair warning, and made him promise not to hate you for what you said when you were tired. 

He kissed the tip of your nose. “I could never hate you.”

You took in a deep breath. “I dunno. You haven’t seen me when I’m really tired.”

Josh tilted his head. “Actually, I have. You did a five-day stint once, then came to the station to see Chad. He made one joke about how tired you looked, and you — very calmly, I might say — set down the plate in your hand and marched out of the station.”

You frowned. “But — I mean, that doesn’t sound like a big deal.”

“It wasn’t,” Josh assured, “until Chad followed you out to the parking lot and you ripped him up one side and down the other and all of us heard you from inside the station.”

That had not been one of your most shining moments, and you were suddenly very embarrassed that Josh knew about that angry outburst. 

“I just — well, see the thing is — by that point …” You trailed off and stepped away from him, trying to explain yourself. 

Josh took your hands and pulled you close again. “Y/N, that was the thing that made me realize just how feisty you could be. How strong you could be. Chad was always the kind of guy that could get any girl, it seemed like, and then you came along. He told us how you made him work for that first date. You were always different than girls he had brought around before you, and I liked that. Then that happened and it was like … like you were the girl who could get any guy she wanted. You turned the tables.”

You licked your lips and tried not to smile too big. “I don’t know that I can have any guy I want, but that doesn’t really matter. I’ve got the one I want.”

“Good to know,” Josh grinned, pulling you in for a deep kiss. 

“Nicole ever get cranky at the end of a long run of shifts?” Josh asked Tyler the next time they went to work out together. 

Tyler set down the dumbbells in his hands. “Yeah, of course. She doesn’t sleep, she overworks. It’s like the extra days send her into effort overdrive. And since she’s been pregnant it’s been worse. But don’t you dare tell her that.”

“I won’t,” Josh laughed, stretching out his legs while they stood. “Y/N’s on a week-long run while another trauma nurse is out. She warned me that she gets cranky — reminded me about a time she ripped into Chad when she was mad after a long run. He deserved it though.”

Tyler nodded. “That guy — he was something else. Does she know about all the girls he cheated with?”

“I don’t know. We do talk about him sometimes, but not in depth. She still holds that they broke up because he left, so I don’t push it.”

“Fair enough. As for the crankiness, just hang in there with her. She’ll sleep it off when she’s done with all these shifts.”

“I hope so,” Josh sighed, heading for the treadmill. 

On day five, you weren’t sure you were going to survive this entire run. The entire city of Columbus, it seemed, was being traumatized in one way or another. Too many of them were ending up in the trauma bays of the hospital; you hadn’t stepped foot into the main ER for any of your shifts, thanks to how busy trauma had been. 

To top things off, Dr. Vasquez was on tonight, and of the three trauma doctors the hospital staffed, he was your least favorite to work with. The stereotype on surgeons fit him perfectly: addicted to his work, overbearing on those who worked with him, and a God-complex so big, his ego practically had its own shadow. 

After you nearly lost a gunshot victim — you being you and Dr. Vasquez, who was running the case — the man kicked you out of the OR and back downstairs, with strict instructions to page him for any incoming patients, and not to touch anyone until he came back down to the emergency floor. 

You were pissed, and somewhat hurt. You knew you were a good nurse, nothing that had gone wrong with that patient had been your fault, and that Dr. Vasquez was an ass. It didn’t stop you from allowing a few angry tears to fall as you rode in the elevator back down to the floor. 

So, when you scanned your badge and walked through the double doors, the last thing you needed to see was Josh flirting with one of the main ER nurses. She had her hand on his arm, and he was laughing at something she had just said. 

“Isn’t this cozy,” you commented, stopping next to them and crossing your arms over your chest. The other nurse quickly removed her arm and excused herself from the situation. You watched her leave, then looked at Josh. “Care to explain? Or do you want to stick with a simple, ‘It isn’t what it looks like’?”

Josh picked up the coffee cup on the counter and handed it to you. “I was just bringing you coffee. I’ve known Emily since we were kids, our families are friends. That’s all there is.”

“I don’t want your coffee,” you scoffed, heading towards the cafeteria. 

“Y/N, come on. Talk to me.”

You didn’t care that he was following you. “I warned you about this Josh. I warned you I would get cranky. I told you to avoid me. You didn’t have to make it worse.”

“I was trying to do something nice,” he pointed out, “since I knew you’d be tired. I was bringing you coffee to help you get through your fifth shift in a row.” Finally catching up to you, Josh stood in your way and forced you to look at him. “I’m not Chad, Y/N! I’m not going to cheat on you.”

Your heart dropped to your feet. You tried several times to form words. “Chad never cheated on me.”

Now it was Josh’s turn to attempt to form words before he was able to speak. “I thought you knew.”

“All of you knew and never told me? For fuck’s sake, the humiliation just keeps on going! I showed up with you to that barbecue with a group full of people who knew that I had been cheated on and probably thought that because I didn’t acknowledge it when talking about why Chad and I split, I was in some sort of denial.”

Josh said nothing, confirming your exact thoughts. You drew in a deep breath and told him to move out of your way before you called security and had him escorted from the hospital property. Josh did as you asked, throwing one frustrated look over his shoulder at you as he headed for the parking garage. 

After the argument at the hospital, Josh decided it was best to do as Tyler had originally advised and give Y/N some space. He didn’t call or text, didn’t try to see her at the hospital. He waited for her to come to him and, three days after the fight, when she’d had a chance to sleep without having to get up and go to a shift, Y/N showed up on his porch with Taco Bell and an apologetic countenance. 

“In all fairness, I did warn you,” she sighed. 

“That you did. Come on in.” 

He motioned for her to enter, so she did. She set the food on the coffee table, then turned to him with her hands up in defense. He crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I was tired and cranky and embarrassed. I really didn’t know about Chad and the cheating, and I had gotten chewed out by the trauma surgeon not even ten minutes before I saw you talking to Emily. It was another of my lesser shining moments. I’m sorry that I got angry with you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Josh dropped his arms. “I wasn’t trying to bother you at work. And if I could have kept you from knowing that Chad had ever cheated on you, I swear, I would have. The last thing I want is for you to hurt. For any reason.”

She nodded. “Thank you. So, we’re good?”

“We’re good,” Josh promised, caressing her cheek. 

Licking her lips, she asked the question Josh could tell she didn’t want to ask. “And Emily — she’s just a family friend?”

“Y/N,” he said softly, letting his caress become a soft hand cupping her cheek. “I swear to you. I will never cheat on you. I’ll never hurt you.”

“Okay. I believe you.”

“Good.” He kissed her softly. “Now can I eat my tacos?”

“Now you can eat your tacos,” she giggled, stealing one more sweet, quick kiss before they sat down to eat. 

[fluffyjoeck]

Do a fic were Jack is jealous of Dianne and Joe think he did something wrong bc they get distant and Dianne realises Jack is in love with Joe and jealous of her and at the she help him to get Joe

She’s not a physic, but it’s easy to tell that something is wrong with Joe. He’s not his usual, playful self. Meaning, she hasn’t had to endure any pranks this week. She kind of misses it, if she’s being honest.

“Jack isn’t speaking to me,” Joe tells her, after she buys it out of him with a coffee and a slice of cake. “I don’t know why, either! He congratulated me on us coming first after the live show, and then…nothing.”

It had been their first time getting a ten in the series, and Dianne is still incredibly proud of him. The choreography had been tricky, but she’s always loved the rumba. It’s a romantic dance, and it had been tricky getting Joe to channel into his more sensual side at first. But, she had cracked the code somehow, and Joe managed to get a ten from Bruno, and the top spot on the leader board. 

“Maybe he’s just busy?” she tries, but Joe doesn’t seem to agree. Instead, he insists they get back to work, and she’s not one to distract him from the task at hand. She thinks people would actually be shocked at how much he wants to learn, and how hard he works to get to the level they need to be at every week.

It isn’t until she’s actually out with Joe later that night, when she remembers what he had said. She’s at his house with a few other pros, and his friends, when she sees Jack sulking in the corner.

“Joe says you’ve been ignoring him,” she says, deciding it’s best to just get right into it. She’s not known Joe that long, but she’s feeling extra protective of him tonight. “So come on, spill it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jack says, taking a sip of his beer. “I don’t really think this is any of your business. But, he’s probably too busy with you to even notice if I’ve been messaging him or not, so why bother?”

There it is, she thinks, putting two and two together. “We spend so much time together because we have to. He’s not purposely avoiding you, like you seem to be. And there’s a reason behind it, so spit it out.”

“Jack!” Josh shouts, trying to get his attention to see something AJ’s done and Jack makes his way past her as quickly as their conversation had been. She gets back to the swing of things after that, talking with Zoe and Janette. Her attention keeps falling back to the two boys, and she swears she sees Jack actually pine after Joe at one point. 

She gets it then, because Dianne recognises that look.

She’s a genius, okay? She is a fucking genius, but it doesn’t take one to see that Jack has the biggest crush on Joe. It all makes sense, when she thinks back on it. And, if she thinks real hard, she thinks Joe might like him back. 

She might be a great dancer, but Dianne knows she’s just as good at playing Cupid. She just needs to get Jack feeling a little more jealous to get things going, which shouldn’t be too hard with the choreography for their American smooth this week. 

“Hey boys!” she calls over, to Joe’s group of friends. “Why don’t you all come down to our training session tomorrow? Joe would love to see some familiar faces.”

“I know that look in your eye. You’re playing with fire,” Zoe warns her, but she’s already thinking of ideas for the choreography she’ll do for the boys first dance as a married couple to even listen to Zoe.

**

As the music finishes, Joe dips her, and the boys fill the room with applause. The dance is beautiful, if she can say so herself, and tells the story of two lovers reuniting. Joe is quite the actor it seems, and really sells the narrative she had been hoping for. Zoe’s tearing up, and it seems like Caspar’s not all that far behind her, as he quickly wipes his eyes before anyone can notice. 

Jack however, is looking less than impressed. He’s clapping along, but his heart is clearly not in it. Whatever, she doesn’t need his approval. 

“That was beautiful, how did you come up with that?” Oli asks.

“I used some inspiration from my own love life, you know?” she says, smiling innocently. If they were in a cartoon, she’d be sure there would be smoke coming out of Jack’s ears. He clearly doesn’t know she’s got a boyfriend of her own, that she loves very much. “Plus, it’s just so easy to dance with Joe, he’s a natural. It makes the choreography come together so easily.”

“You’d almost forget who the pro is,” Joe smirks, and she hits his shoulder, laughing. He’s lucky he’s cute.

“You should teach the boys some of your moves,” she suggests, her eyes finding Jack’s. “A little birdy told me that Jack here loves a dance or two. Give him a whirl!”

Jack tries to turn the offer down, but he’s pushed to the front of their little group by Josh, and Joe’s holding his hand out like the gentleman she’s teaching him to be for the American smooth. Jack reluctantly takes Joe’s hand, flipping the bird with his free hand to their friends who are wolf whistling at the two. A bit awkwardly, Jack shifts on his feet to be closer to Joe.

She can see Joe switch from goofing around with his mates to wanting to show off his skills for her, and tries his best to train Jack just like she’s been doing with him all week. She can hear the low sounds of Joe telling him where his hand is supposed to be and the counting of their footsteps, and she’s just so proud.

“Why are you squirming so much?” Joe asks, a little impatiently. Jack looks incredibly uncomfortable, and she’s guessing he’s probably going to do a runner as soon as Joe let go of him. She can’t hear the rest of their bickering, but Joe seems to win the argument as Jack finally begins to relax, and copies the simple steps Joe asks of him.

They both start giggling, especially as Joe spins Jack, placing his arms on Jack’s waist before he dips him low, just like the end of their dance. They stay in that position for a slightly awkward amount of time, almost like the two boys are lost in their own world, before they both realise where they are. Joe helps Jack up again, and Jack goes back to his spot beside Byron. 

“You can thank me later,” she whispers in a confused Joe’s ear, smirking as she takes her place in the centre of the training room again. “Now, everyone scram! We’ve got a dance to perfect!”

Dianne pretends not to notice that Jack’s the only one to stay behind, and completely plays a blind eye to the blush that’s on Joe’s cheeks when they leave together.

She hadn’t signed up to be a love guru, but it just comes naturally to her. She’ll let Joe be a lovesick puppy, only if he kicks his arse into gear. She’s got a trophy to win.

[wroetobabe]

Change Your Mind (Pt. 2)

Pairing: Reader X Simon

Warning(s): Several mentions of sexual activity - also some swearing!

Requested(?): Yes!! I was so happy to see you all loved the first part :)

Additional Notes: This was written almost a year and half after the first part, so the writing style does change a little bit, so apologies for that! Also if theirs any spelling mistakes i also apologise, my microsoft word spell checker isn’t worker atm lol

Word Count: 2.2k

… … … . 

I woke up well into the afternoon, direct beams of sunlight coming from the open window struck my eyes and made the headache I was harbouring ten times worse. I must’ve lay in bed for at least an hour before finally peeling myself from the warmth of the blankets covering me, I almost stumbled out of my bedroom door.

Simon’s door was wide open, so as I was walking to go downstairs I went slightly slower, peeking to see if he was inside. Nope, not in there.

I continued the long trek to the kitchen, slamming open the fridge and chugging almost a bottle of apple juice. “Quite the hangover then?” A voice asked from behind, causing me to jump a little.

“Fuck me man, I almost shat myself, don’t do that” I moan, turning around to see Josh sat at the island. “But yes, hangover from hell” I reply. “How’s Simon?”

“Not seen him today, wasn’t in his room when I woke up. That was at around 10ish, not been home since” He informs me. I give him a confused look.

“That’s odd. I suppose he probably has to go speak to his family about last night” I offer a suggestion, to which he shrugs in response. “I feel awful”

“Why do you feel bad?” JJ interupts, waltzing into the room looking just as hungover as I was.

“She likes him” Vik chimes in, also entering.

“What?! How do you know that?! Who else knows that?” I panic, suddenly wakening up a little.

“Everyone knows, it’s so obvious. Well, except for Simon clearly” Josh chuckles.

“Oh my god what if he does know? He’s going to think all the chasing I did after him last night was because I wanted him for myself, not because I cared!” I put my head in my hands, leaning my elbows on the kitchen island.

“He doesn’t know, there’s no way. No offence, but he was too obsessed with Vanessa to take notice of all the things we took notice of” Vik says, cheering me up a little bit. “That’s why Ethan let you go with him on your own yesterday”

“I just want the best for him you know? If that’s not me I’ll get over it someday” I say, quite sadly.

“Y/N, you’ve liked him since the Sidemen became a thing. You’d be over him by now if that was the case” Josh giggled.

“That’s because I was holding on hopefully. I think it’s time to give up and get over it” I look down at the apple juice, fiddling with the lid.

“Get over what?” A new voice enters the conversation, causing everyone’s head to lift up. It was Simon.

“Nothing, just another one of Y/N’s internet crushes” Josh saves my life, chiming in quickly.

“Where even were you bro?” JJ asks, turning his chair around to face the blonde.

“Why’s that anyone’s fucking business?” Simon yells back, storming off up the stairs, no doubt to his room. We all look around, everyone sharing the same shocked and confused look.

“I’m going to my room, if I make it there alive” I joke, taking my juice and following him up the stairs. Similar to earlier, I slow down slightly as I walk past his door, this time deciding not to peak in. I get to my room and just lay on my bed. I had to move on, I couldn’t grasp on to the idea of a relationship with Simon forever.

As I closed the blinds on my window, I looked outside to see Talia’s (Just for some context, in this story, Talia is Simon’s ex, who left before he got with his ex-fiance) car pulling into the driveway. I debate for a few seconds on whether to go ask the boys why she was here, but decide against it.

It made me so incredibly jealous that he still felt the need to confide in her. We all knew what they were doing in the bedroom whenever he had a problem. It hurt. I was his best friend, I could be a shoulder to cry on, but he clearly didn’t see it like that, and that was what pained me.

I sat on my bed, crying, for what felt like hours. In reality it had only been around thirty minutes, however, I had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth it anymore.

I had to leave. There was no chance in hell I could move on whilst living in a house with him, watching him fuck his way through life. This was the new beginning I needed, and chapter one, was moving out.

After keeping it quiet for weeks, packing silently whilst nobody paid attention, today was my moving day. Josh knew I was leaving, but as far as I was aware, nobody else did.

I had been taking boxes to my car for the past half an hour, cramming as much in as possible.

It wasn’t until I saw my room empty that the idea really hit home. I’m leaving, and although the boys weren’t all that aware, I wasn’t coming back.

“What’re you doing?” A voice chirped from behind me.

“Moving” I said, a sigh followed after. I shut my room door for the last time and turned to face him. “I’m leaving” I smile lightly at the tall, blonde figure.

“Wha- why?” He asks, stopping me from walking past. His touch still sent shivers down my spine

“Do you want me to lie to you?” I ask, plucking up the courage to tell him the truth.

“What are you talking about? Of course not, tell me the truth” He furrows his eyebrows, confusion spralled across his face.

“I need to be away from you” I tell him, looking at the floor in a desperate attempt to avoid eye contact. “You’re bad for me”

“What the fuck’s that meant to mean? How on earth could I be ‘bad’ for you?” He asks, raising his voice, flailing his arm around.

“If I stay in this house any longer, watching you fuck every girl in London, I’m never going to move on with my life. I need to leave, I need to get out of here and I need to get over you. And this is how I plan on doing that. I’ve loved you since I met you, and either you’ve been oblivious, or you’ve chosen to ignore it. Either way, i’ve given up. And after seeing you the past few weeks, I’m glad i have” I tell him, almost shouting in his face. He looks at me, half angry, half confused.

I grab the box I had to take to the car, and continued my decsent down the stairs. All the boys stood outside their respective rooms, watching me with sad eyes, clearly hearing the whole confrontation from before.

Shutting the boot to my car, I looked back at the house and watched as Simon appeared in the doorway of the front door. I made eye contact for a few seconds before opening the door of my car and getting sat down.

I stare at the wheel for a couple of seconds, not really sure if I want to drive away just yet. I knew if I allowed myself to think for too long I’d get back out the car and ‘leave it until tomorrow’ or something, so I started up the engine and put it into first gear. It was then I realised that Simon was now halfway down the driveway, no shoes on, wearing only shorts and a shirt.

I could just drive. I would never have to see him again if that’s what I wanted. I could get over him so soon, I can set myself free.

I went against everything I told myself.

I opened the car door, climbing back out and pacing quickly over to his figure. I grabbed his face with my two hands and dipped his head, levelling it with my own. I waste no seconds, connecting our lips in a hard, forceful kiss. I remain for a few seconds before pulling back, I had to go now, or I would never go.

I let him go, turning around to go back to the car, registering that he made no movement, he didn’t kiss me back, he didn’t want me.

I opened my car door, just to have it slammed back into it’s previous position. As I turned to see what he wanted, he spun my body around to face his own, reattaching his lips to mine.

I was practically pinned against the car, I could feel people staring and I knew fine well the boys would be watching from somewhere. Simon pulls away breifly, before bending down slightly and picking my legs up as I wrapped them around his slim build. I assumed he was just picking me up so that he didn’t have to lean down so far, but my heart started racing as he headed back toward the front door. “Where are we going?”

“My room” He says quickly, continuing to pepper my neck in soft kisses.

“The boys will see us go up like this” I tell him, turning to see if any of them were on the ground floor.

“Let them see” He mumbles, kicking the door shut behind him with his foot. He carefully moves up the stairs, and as we’re about to reach his room door, all of the boys are gathered around Josh’s door, staring. “Nothing to see here” Simon shouts, not taking even a second to stop.

“That’s my sister” Josh mumbles, stomping his feet slightly, mouth pouted.

“Fuck off” Simon tells them, this time turning his head to face them. “We’re busy” He smirks, pushing open his bedroom door and slamming it behind him. I knew once this was over I would get ridiculed from everyone. He turns so that I’m pressed against the shut door, letting me onto my own feet. “You want this, yeah?” He asks, I nod in return.

He tugs my jacket from my shoulders, allowing it to cascade down my back and into a crumpled heap on the floor. Butterflies were sending my stomach into knots, I’ve only been intimate one other time, this was (hopefully) going to be the second.

Simon flops over to lay beside me, disposing of the condom he had used. He gazed at me, analysing the panting of my breath and the small beads of sweat falling from my forehead. “It pains me to think about how many boys it took you to get that good”

When I would normally take offence, justifiably if you ask me, I giggled lightly.

“Your my second, ever” I glance at him, catching the slightly shocked look on his face. “It’s not exactly hard when your on the bottom, you just lay there” I laugh.

“There was something about it I don’t know” He sighs, pulling his phone from his jean pocket, which were situated on the floor in amoungst the other scattered clothing. “Fucking hell it’s 7pm” I look at him, unsure of what the big issue was. He notices my face, giggling a little to himself. “When I came out to your car it was 5. We were just at it for two hours straight”

“Oh jesus christ” I sigh, hands over my face.

“It’s a shame you couldn’t cover your mouth when we were doing it. We maybe could’ve gotten away with saying we didn’t do anything” I shake my head in his direction, knowing that he loved it secretly. “Maybe big brother Joshy will hurt me” He jokes, poking my side.

“I’m hungry” I complain. “And I need to call my mum and tell her I’m not coming”

“We could get pizza delivered if you like? We can eat it up here so we don’t get ridiculed by the horny fuckers outside” He suggests, earning a happy nod and grin from me. “I’m sure I heard JJ standing there for a solid five minutes” He chuckled.

“How can you hear someone standing?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

“He kept leaning against the door, cleary on accident. None of the other boys would do it, only explanation.” He explains his little conspiracy, finally grabbing some boxers and sliding them over his long legs. “You need clothes” He sighs.

“I can just wear what I wore when we came in, it’s fine” I tell him, until I pick up my panties. Ripped. “Seriously?!” I raise my voice, he only winks and chuckles before focusing on getting himself ready.

We walk downstairs, finding everyone in the livingroom. I could feel the judgement, but I tried to make a beeline for the kitchen and they were having none of it.

“How was it then?” One asks.

“I fucking hate you, while I’m in the house? Really?” Josh groans.

“You were really loud” Another comments.

“Alright everyone shut up, it was great. We will be taking no further questions, thank you” Simon announces, mocking the way TV stars deal with paps. He pulls out his phone and orders us a dominos, quickly putting it back in his pocket. He gazes down at me before beginning his sentence.

“Can we try and…You know, be something then? Maybe?” I’m slightly taken a back by his sudden change in heart about relationships. “I was going to run back to her, Y/N. You’re the one who did it”

“Did what?” I cock my eyebrow at him.

“Changed my mind”

[thatbluegibson]

CH 58

The remaining weeks dragged by with both Liz and Dave immersed in their commitments. When Dave wasn’t at rehearsals, he was in the studio with Josh listening to the Vulture’s B-sides, jamming and woodshedding towards workable material. Liz had finished her dance lessons and was busy with the script details, reading and reworking her lines, building and researching her character and racing back and forth to costume fittings that had been moved to Portland for her convenience. They somehow fell into a steady routine of texts and brief phone calls, just enough contact to feel connected, but not nearly enough to dull the ache of missing each other. 

Liz made a point to wear whatever Foo Fighters merch she had whenever she knew she would be photographed, purposefully overkilling it with a FF tour shirt and hoodie when she was invited to a Hollywood Vampires show. She had taken her father as her date and he had worn his well loved Nirvana shirt, purchased in January 1994 when he had taken Liz to see the biggest music phenomenon since The Beatles. The look on Johnny’s face when he saw Liz and her father backstage almost made her feel bad, he had invited her after all, but she wanted to be very clear about where her affections lay.  

Dave had saved every paparazzi picture of her to his phone, looking back on them when he felt the urge to book a ticket to see her. She wore the same slight smile in every photo, one that rebuffed every question that was flung at her. Yes, he was still in her life even though they were thousands of miles apart. The questions flung at him, however, were a bit more intrusive and it took an exhausting amount of energy to keep himself from shoving an insanely expensive camera up these ill-mannered cameramen’s asses. How low does someone have to be to ask a man what his girlfriend is like in bed in front of his children? He remained poised and dignified, but was in the process of hiring more security to quell the onslaught. 

*

Dave squinted down at his phone, trying to read the headline notification in the dimly lit parking lot. Liz had already left for England that afternoon, calling him from the airport to let him know that the studio had swung for a private jet and that she and Johnny would be stuck in a ‘fucking beer can together for twelve hours, so don’t be surprised if you hear he’s been murdered’ as she so eloquently put it. They ended the call with her making him laugh, a ‘miss you’ and ‘see you soon’, though Dave knew he wouldn’t be able to set foot on British ground until May and April was just beginning. His phone read that Liz had been spotted at LAX, but that couldn’t be right. She said she was going to Heathrow straight from Portland. There must have been an editing error…

“Hey!” Josh jogged across the parking lot from the line of bikes where a crowd had formed, “You have to come see this bike, man.”

Dave ashed his cigarette and followed him over, weaving his way through the leather vests and helmets to where Josh’s tall frame stood above the rest of the crowd. He looked over the bike in front of them while Josh practically giggled with excitement. “It’s a 1921 stock HD,” he explained and looked around, “never been touched and the chick that rode it in is a fucking stone fox.”

Dave admired the bike’s fairly pristine condition and wondered if it was a barn find when he heard her laugh through the crowd. She had that loud, melodic, unrestrained and genuine laugh that was almost a rarer find in LA than the bike in front of him. He turned towards the sound and spotted her a few feet away with her back to him, surrounded by several people in matching leather vests as they gradually made their way towards the back door of the bar.

Josh followed his stare and nodded to her. “Yeah, that’s her. She rode up on this. She’s a babe as is, but with this bike? God damn.”

“She’s… she’s something,” Dave said quietly. He recognized her leather leggings, high top Vans and cropped leather jacket from the night he met her, though she was wearing a loose white shirt this time. She walked with the small group of men in leather vests letting them go inside without her while she hesitated at the back door.

“Dude, she’s alone. Go talk to her into going home with you,” Josh nudged him with his elbow.

“I don’t know, man,” he tried to hide a smile as he watched her tap out a text on her phone, “She seems like she’d kick my ass just for suggesting it.”

“Fuck, dude,” Josh pinched a cigarette between his lips and lit it, “A girl that hot? I’d pay her to kick my ass.”

Dave felt his phone buzz in his pocket and before he fully realized what he was doing, started towards Liz. She was still engrossed in whatever was on her phone screen, not bothering to look up until he was almost on top of her. Her face broke into an elated smile in the split second before he shoved her against the brick wall and kissed her. She giggled happily against his lips, gasping when he pinned her against the cold brick with his upper body. He whispered to her between kisses, I missed you, so much, I missed you. He had only meant to surprise her, kiss her quickly and then ask what the hell she was doing in LA, but the moment she put her arms around him all he could think about was getting her out of there and to the nearest bed or backseat. Damnit, why didn’t he drive the van? She was all dark red hair, vanilla chapstick, leather and skate shoes, and she was all over him. She tangled her fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck and it all felt remarkably similar to the night at the Roxy when he kissed her behind the equipment boxes.

“Let the poor girl breathe, Dave!” Josh yelled from the row of bikes in the parking lot.

Dave felt Liz’s right hand leave his neck, probably to flip Josh off, but she pulled away from him anyways.

“You’re supposed to be somewhere over Canada right now,” he whispered, still holding her head in his hands.

“The studio wanted a meeting in LA before we left, so I’m here until tomorrow night,” she looked unsure, as if he wouldn’t be completely thrilled that she managed to swing some time with him.

“How did you know I was here?” he asked. He had called Josh after talking to Liz, afraid to be alone with his thoughts while knowing she was trapped in such close quarters with Depp. 

Liz blushed a little and looked down at her shoes, “Taylor helped me out.”

Dave grinned at the thought of Liz and his best friend planning all this behind his back and leaned in to kiss her again, but she pressed her hands against his chest to stop him. 

“I’m gonna go so you can hang out with your friends, but I just wanted to see you before I left,” she whispered and tried to side step away.

“You just got here,” he quickly moved to grab her hips in case she made a break for it. If she was going to leave, he was going with her and fuck everyone else.

Liz looked over his shoulder as another group of motorcycles rumbled into the parking lot, momentarily pausing to stare at a stunned Josh, “No, I should really go,” she forced a smile, “My flight isn’t until nine so I can see you tomorrow if you’re free.”

“Please stay” he leaned down and softly kissed her neck, smiling when she whined at the feeling.

“Dave, it’s the Rainbow,” she sighed, more out of pleasure than annoyance, “No one wants their girlfriend lurking about here.”

“Do you think I have a herd of groupies in there waiting for me?” he leaned back a little to see her face.

Liz shrugged, “I don’t know what you get up to when I’m not around!” she laughed when he glared at her. “Fine. I’ll stay for one beer. One.” She held her finger up in his face to drive her point home, but Dave shoved her hand away and kissed her again while running his hands down her sides to feel her pockets for her keys. Finding them tucked into her jacket, he shoved them into the front of his jeans before unceremoniously pushing away from her and walking towards the bar’s back door.

“Honestly David, that’s not much of a deterrent,” she called after him before he disappeared into the dark doorway. She leaned back against the wall again to catch her breath and maybe warn Andy that she would be staying longer than originally planned.

“So do you two know each other or is that how I should introduce myself as well?” Josh called from his spot further away.

“I’d say it’s my preferred greeting method, but I’m scared to death of your wife,” she replied and finished her text to Andy, looking up when he came closer to her.

Josh exhaled sharply in a laugh, blowing smoke from his cigarette above his head, “Yeah, I’m scared of her too. Mean as hell, that one.”

Liz smiled, she liked Josh already, and held her hand out to him, “I’m Liz.”

“Ah, the muse I’ve heard so much about,” he shook her hand and ignored her raised eyebrow, “I’m Josh. So, doll,” Liz tensed at Josh’s endearment, “tell me how you came across that cherry over there.”

“It was my grandfather’s,” she replied, following his gaze out to her bike, “He was a big Harley fan.”

He narrowed his blue eyes at her, “And those guys you rolled up with? They with you?” Josh nodded to the line of bikes next to hers, all with club insignia on the gas tanks.

“Maybe,” Liz said quietly, wary of where this conversation was headed.

“And you are…?” he asked, tossing his spent cigarette to the pavement.

“Just the granddaughter,” she smiled and looked away, feeling like she was being tested. Most riders were aware of the Hell’s Angels, but only some were aware of her grandfather’s club and its contribution to bike culture.

Josh leaned an arm against the wall next to her, well aware that their close proximity was making her uncomfortable, “The Jokers have been through here.”

Liz’s eyes snapped back up to his. “That’s fine,” she lied. The old timers at the club house had warned her that the rival club was around when she had showed up to get Pop’s bike out of storage, but she had thought nothing of it. She wouldn’t be wearing anything to announce her affiliation with Pops and the club, but the standing club president would only let her go with the promise that she would take some of the younger club members with her, just in case. It had taken the better part of an hour to convince Andy that she could go to The Rainbow alone, so she was furious that eight members were on her tail the entire ride over. She tried to lose them at least three times, but the vintage Harley was no match for the newer models they were on. Fortunately, they were more interested in the beer and meeting the rock stars inside the bar than watching Liz make out with her boyfriend in the parking lot.

 *

A ripple of excitement moved through the crowd at the Rainbow, indicating someone noteworthy had arrived and was making their way towards the bar. Dave ignored the hushed whispers and continued to wait for the bartender when Josh casually strolled through the parted crowd with Liz under his arm.

“Asshole,” Dave laughed as Josh led Liz right past him.

“Any unattended female property will be claimed by me,” he yelled over Liz’s head.

Dave expected her to drive her elbow into Josh’s ribs, but she just shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and grinned at him.

With the beer finally acquired, Dave found them at a spot against the far wall. Liz was intently watching the people around her while Josh was engrossed in a conversation with a man that Dave vaguely recognized as a session drummer.

“You okay?” he asked her, handing her a bottle.

“Just fine,” she smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes. He slipped his arm around her waist and felt her relax against him before turning to face him. “I feel bad that I crashed your night out. I really should go.”

“The only way you’re leaving is on the back of my bike” he laughed, but he couldn’t figure out why she was trying to get out of there so badly.

Liz snorted a laugh at that and took a quick drink, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I never ride bitch on a bike.”

He frowned, a little disappointed that she would never wrap her arms around him as they flew down the highway, but he would gladly take the second best option. Maybe they could go on a ride before she left for England, take the bikes out towards the desert and he could stare at her through his rear view mirror again.

“Dave!” Liz just about jumped out of her skin when a man yelled just feet away from them. “Long time no see!”

“Hey, man!” Dave released Liz to shake Paul Stanley’s hand. “Haven’t seen you in a while!” Really, it had only been a few hours. They had nodded to each other from their respective vehicles while picking up their kids from the same school.  

“We have a table over here!” Paul waved as an invitation to join him and led them to a large corner booth where several other people were sitting. The introductions went as most Hollywood ones do, an acknowledging nod that said, yes, I already know who you are, no need to tell me your name or what you do. The booth was full to the point that Eric Singer was practically falling out into the walkway, so Dave snagged a couple chairs from the wall and lined them up in front of the table. He set one close to Eric in hopes he would assume it was for him, biting back a smile when he took the bait.

“Thanks, man!” Eric called, stopping short when he saw Liz. “I know you.” 

She innocently shrugged and took a drink of her beer while Dave settled into the chair behind her. “I think we’ve met briefly, yeah.”

The realization spread across Eric’s face and he slapped the table loudly, earning the full attention of every one at the table. “You’re the one with the bar!”

Liz’s eyes darted around the table, completely embarrassed that everyone was now staring at her. “That’s me!” she said meekly, looking back at Dave when he tugged on her arm and quickly sat on his knee. 

“She owns the coolest little beach bar where Tommy’s got a place,” Eric explained to the rest of the table then laughed loudly. “Remember that night we got blackout drunk with Tommy and landscaped his house?”

Dave remembered Krist pointing out Tommy Thayer’s house while Liz shook her head. “I don’t recall much of that night, honestly,” she laughed. 

She fell into a conversation with Eric about Tommy and her little beach town while Dave casually ran his hand up her back between her leather jacket and shirt. He felt her shiver at his touch and watched as her knuckles turned white around her beer bottle. His fingertips made it to the base of her shoulder blade when he realized she had apparently been in such a hurry that she had forsaken her bra. She raised an eyebrow at him when he shifted her on his leg, fully realizing how long they had been apart by the way his body reacted to hers.

She leaned into him, only worsening matters when her lips brushed against his ear, “I’m only here for a few hours, Dave. I wasn’t about to spend any of it tangling with a fucking bra.”

Yep, he thought, leaning back to look around for an exit, that’s it. We’re leaving. If we hurry we might make it upstairs, otherwise the bathroom would have to be romantic enough for her.

Liz shifted her hips a little and her eyes darted down. “Wait... if that’s not... where are my keys?,” she murmured.

“So!” Paul leaned across the table, interrupting several different conversations that were happening around him and snapping Dave and Liz back to attention. “How did you two lovebirds meet?”

Liz, now aware that Dave was in distress, took initiative, “A mutual friend introduced us.” She leaned forward as if she were trying to hear Paul better and in the process positioned her ass right over the bulge in Dave’s jeans. His right hand slammed into her hip to hold her still, his fingers digging into her so hard that even through the leather leggings, she knew he was leaving a bruise. She feigned ignorance and continued speaking with Paul about her Oscar and the upcoming school fundraiser he and Dave were working on while occasionally wiggling her hips. Eventually a waitress appeared with a full tray, forcing Liz to sit upright so she could place the fresh drinks on the table.

“Liz, darlin',” she was surprised by Josh’s voice and glanced over to see that he had pulled up a chair next to Dave. “You can’t kill him right now. Everyone is going on summer festival tours and no one will make it to his funeral.”

“That’s fine,” she laughed and Dave groaned, his fingers tightening even further around her hip bone as she slid herself back to his thigh, “Taylor looks really good in black so everyone will be staring at him and not the lack of mourners.”

“I don’t know, doll,” Josh made a scene of looking her up and down, “You might give him a run for his money.”

“You wanna be my date?” she kept her eyes on Josh as she took a drink of her beer.

“God, yes,” he took her free hand and kissed her knuckles, “You can cry on my shoulder all you want, kitten.”

“Hey, assholes,” Dave finally said, making no attempt to hide his smile, “I’m right here.” He was relieved they were getting along so well. Josh could be incredibly intimidating with his brash humor and dry wit, but Liz had easily matched him.

“Right, right” Liz pulled her hand away from Josh to put it around Dave, kissing his forehead in the process, “Not in front of the corpse.”

“Lucky fucking stiff,” Josh grumbled with a grin and stood from his chair, shaking his head in mock defeat as he wandered off into the crowded bar.

Liz finished off her beer and pried Dave’s fingers off her hip so she could stand. He stared up at her with an exaggerated pout and she rolled her eyes.

“I said one beer and then I was leaving.”

“Then you shouldn’t drive,” he tugged on her arm, but she stood firm.

She was just about to throw a smart comment back at him when Josh burst back through the crowd and threw his arms around Liz. His eyes were wide and his voice was urgent, “You should tell me more about your bike!” he yelled and hurried her towards the back of the bar. Liz dutifully followed, looking back at Dave’s confused face that matched her own. She had to trot to keep up with Josh’s determined gait, sensing that whatever he was up to was in her best interest.

“Yo, brother!” a raspy voice echoed down the long hallway just as Josh and Liz reached the back door.

They both stared down at Josh’s tattooed and ringed fingers hovering over the door handle and listened to the heavy boot steps hurrying their way.

“Whoa! Who’s this little snack?”

Josh let out a long breath and squared his shoulders, catching Liz’s eye as he turned her around. She recognized something in his look, a silent plea to just go with it, stay cool, stay calm and she steeled herself against the unknown behind her.

“This is Liz,” Josh gently squeezed her, keeping his arm tightly around her shoulders.

She forced a smile at the man in front of her, one she recognized as a musician that traveled in the same orbit as Dave and Josh. He stared at her through red tinted glasses, clutching a generic canned beer and swaying on his steel toe boots. Liz could tell he had just arrived on a bike, the smell of gasoline tinged exhaust was strong on his denim vest and his fair hair was matted from his helmet.

“Well hello, little lady!” he drawled, dragging his eyes down her body as he took a long swig of his beer. “Brody’s going to kick your fucking ass,” he said to Josh as if Liz wasn’t there. “I’m Jesse,” his boot clicked on the parquet flooring as he stepped forward and offered his hand. She hesitantly shook it and roughly cleared her throat when he lifted her arm to kiss her wrist and eye her feather tattoo.

Josh gritted his teeth and adjusted his arm so that his hand was gripping the nape of Liz’s neck. “We were just headed for a smoke,” he said, his voice dripping with an underlying ‘fuck off’ tone, but Jesse was already too drunk to notice.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” Jesse slurred, glancing behind him at the packed bar. He had turned just enough that Liz could see the back of his denim vest was covered in motorcycle club patches, a large green and white oval showcased in the center. Tunnel vision set in and she stepped out of Josh’s hold to get a better look. The patch portrayed a graveyard landscape in green embroidery. The foreground had a freshly dug plot and a man dancing happily atop it next to a bobber style motorcycle. In the background, a severed head was held aloft, green threaded blood dripping down towards the patch’s border and a line of men saluting with their middle fingers. Jack’s Jokers was in a bold script at the top, though the thread used there was black. The edge of Liz’s vision tinged a dark red and her fists balled up at her sides just as Josh threw both his arms around her and pinned her to the wall.

“Yeah, man!” Jesse cheered, misinterpreting Josh’s movements as amorous instead of preventative. He set off down the hallway, but called back as he reached the threshold to the bar, “Don’t wear her out, man! You know how much I love groupies!”

Liz felt a small, but distinct snap deep in her chest and she bounced a little in Josh’s arms. “Fuck you!” she screamed, wiggling her arm free to point a black fingernail at him.

Jesse stopped short and spun around, a menacing smile on his face. “Oooo… I like my women mean,” he shot back.

“Then you’re in luck, mother fucker,” she spat at him, only faintly aware of Josh whispering directly into her ear in an attempt to calm her down. “Cause I’m about to fucking kick your bitch ass all over this shit hole.”

“Are we going to have a fucking problem?” Jesse walked slowly back towards them, his eyes locked on Liz.

“We already have a fucking problem,” she glowered. “I’ll be out back.” She roughly shoved Josh’s arms away and kicked open the back door as hard as she could, sending the metal clanging against the cinderblock wall.

“Liz!” Josh ran after her, stopping her with an arm on the shoulder. “He’s a fucking asshole, okay? But you have to let this one go.”

“Fuck that guy!” Liz huffed, pointing back to the bar. Seeing that patch had thrown her into another dimension of anger. The club didn’t have a rival, per say, but her grandfather had evicted some men from the brotherhood citing a rumor that they were dealing under the club’s name. They then went on to found ‘Jack’s Jokers’ and mock her grandfather’s legacy, specifically by depicting him as a disembodied head with a desecrated grave for good measure.  The back door flew open again, making Josh and Liz jump. Several drunk men lined up against the wall and pulled out packs of cigarettes as Josh dragged Liz further into the dark back lot.

He held Liz’s arms and bent low so he was eye level with her. “I get why you’re pissed, but Jesse-“

They both looked over as Dave’s voice boomed across the dark parking lot. “Liz!” He sounded pissed.

[stupidfanfics]

Til’ Death Do Us Part: A Barry Allen Fan Fiction

Chapter 3: Bittersweet

Word count: 3,425

Warnings: Kind of sad

A/N: I have nothing to say except, enjoy and share!

Chapter 1: https://stupidfanfics.tumblr.com/post/169777108056/til-death-do-us-part-a-barry-allen-fan-fiction

Chapter 2: https://stupidfanfics.tumblr.com/post/170579839517/til-death-do-us-part-a-barry-allen-fan-fiction

I’d be lying if I said my breakup with Josh didn’t hit me hard. Even though it was a stupid six-month relationship that, in the end, was pointless. After a weekend full of movie marathons with Barry and Iris, I was ready to face the world.

A word of advice to anyone who’s either just starting High School or will be starting soon: Don’t sweat the small stuff.

I know, I know. Everyone tells you that, but trust me, spending time with your friends and soaking up your last few years of childhood is so worth it. Take road trips, go to parties, pull all-nighters for no apparent reason. That’s how I lived my four years in High School and look at me now! I’m a twenty-five-year-old biologist who’s thriving. But that’s beside the point right now. High School is what I should be talking about.

Senior year.

College applications.

Prom.

Graduation.

Barry still trying to find a way to get with the girl he loves. Iris still being an oblivious social butterfly trying to run the school’s newspaper. And me still trying to find a way to get into the college I so ‘desperately’ needed to get into.

“Which sounds better-” I began pressing the cap of my pen onto my bottom lip, “‘I’d be so grateful to join your program’ or ‘I cannot wait to begin my studies at Stanford’?”

I spun around in my chair to look at Iris, who was sitting on my light grey carpet and Barry, who was staring out my bedroom window.

“Hmmm... the second one,” Iris answered, looking up at me showing off her bright and shiny teeth.

“Barry?” I inquired and quickly he spun around.

“Are you sure the second one doesn’t sound a little too-”

“Headstrong. Yeah, I see what you mean,” I said, finishing his thought for him.

“But people do love a powerful young woman,” Iris sang, the last three words spilling out of her mouth like sweet maple syrup. As I turned back to my paper, Barry shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and walked up to me. Leaning over my shoulder once he finally reached me.

“How ‘bout ‘I would be so honored to complete my studies at Stanford.’ That way you’re complimenting them and being a ‘Powerful Young Woman,’” he recommended, earning a smile from me-

“Thanks, Bare.”

-and a pat on the cheek.

“Anyways...” Iris started, “What are you two doing for prom? Because it’s only one week away and we still have no plans.” Swiftly I spun in my chair, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I thought you were going with Adam.” She rolled her eyes.

“I said WE have no plans. Not ME. Come on, you guys can’t miss out.” After that sentence, Barry let out a sigh.

“Barry, I’d hate to admit it, but she’s kinda got a point,” I whispered loudly. Rolling his eyes, Barry finally came up with a response.

“So, you just want us to go with you and Adam? Be a third and fourth wheel?”

Iris glanced between Barry and I raising her eyebrows.

“No!” I exclaimed almost a little too quickly.

“No, what?” Barry questioned.

“Yeah Monica, no what?”

I glared at Iris, hopefully signaling for her to stop. “No to being a third and fourth wheel. Iris?”

Iris rolled her eyes playfully. “Yes, I’ll set you two up with someone. I have a lot of people in mind,” she said glaring back at me. Instinctively, I kicked Iris in the shoulder, pushing her to the floor.

“Ow.” She grabbed said shoulder. “What was that for?”

I laughed. “Oh, you know what that was for.” Barry turned to face me.

“Well, I don’t understand. Care to explain?” Barry played.

“Girl stuff, Barry. You wouldn't understand,” I teased pushing his nose in with my finger.

“I’ve been best friends with two girls for the past seven years. I think I understand girl stuff now,” he retorted.

“Sure… Bartholomew,” I whispered making his eyebrows furrow in frustration before he let out a chuckle.

“And they say I’m the oblivious one,” Iris mumbled just loud enough for me to hear, but I chose to ignore it.

Later that night, Iris claimed she had to get a full nine hours of sleep, so after about an hour she walked back to her home, leaving Barry and me alone.

“Lucille?”

I rolled my eyes, turning to face Barry. “Yes, Bartholomew?” A smile spread across my face as Barry glared at me.

“This was meant to be a serious conversation,” he mumbled.

“Well, you’re the one who used my middle name but continue,” I retorted.

“Well, in all seriousness, if Iris is unsuccessful in her matchmaking, I- um- I-” I stared into his green eyes, confused and scared about what would come out of his mouth next. “I wouldn’t mind taking you to- umm- prom?” A smile began to stretch across my face.

“Is that a question or a statement?” I asked, biting my pink lips to stifle a giggle.

“A statement… I think?” I couldn't contain my laughter much longer.

“Well, if we’re saying that it’s a statement, then we have a deal,” I said grinning, earning a smirk from Barry.

“Well, as long as you don’t look at me like that.” I chuckled and pointed at Barry’s now tomato red face.

“Like what?” he said, trying to act like an idiot but terribly failing.

“The ‘Woah, I’m the luckiest boy there is’ look,” I whispered, “It makes you look like a character in a cheesy teen romance.”

“Oh, you mean the look boys always have in all those stupid movies you watch,” he retorted. “Hey! You watch them with me sometimes!” I yelled.

“Mhmm, sure.”

As Barry had predicted, Iris miserably failed at her matchmaking task, forcing Barry and me to be each other's “dates” to the senior prom. In a way, I was kind of suspicious of Iris’ actions. I mean she’s been pretty good at picking dates for us in the past, but this time she sucked ass. Barry was given the choice of Stupid Sarah and I was given the choice of Douchey Daniel.

Okay, so maybe that’s not the nicest way to describe them, but it is the cold hard truth.

But besides Iris’ horrid selections she was just acting weird the month leading up to prom. Whenever the three of us were together she was constantly mumbling and saying things under her breath, then playing them off as “Nothing…” Then there was the time we went dress shopping, all Iris could talk about was Barry and I.

“I know you guys are going as friends but...”

I rolled my eyes, cutting her off. “No Iris, Barry and I will never be anything more than friends. Okay?” And as I had predicted she mumbled something under her breath. “What?” I questioned.

“Oh nothing, just- nothing.” I stared at her in thought for a few seconds.

“You know I’m starting to think you’re going crazy.” Iris swiftly turned to face me.

“I’m the one that’s going crazy?!” she exclaimed.

“No Monica, you’ve always been the crazy one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means the past seven or eight years you’ve been calling me the oblivious one when really it’s you.”

My whole body froze, my eyes becoming the size of saucers, my mouth wide open. I must have been standing unconscious for awhile since Iris was behind me tapping my shoulder. I swiveled around.

“Hey look at this dress, it’s red. Barry’s favorite color.” I snatched the hanger from her hands.

“I’m not oblivious, Iris,” I mumbled, storming off into the dressing rooms. I stared into the mirror, my face was a pale pink shade, my eyes slightly damp with tears. I looked at the dress for the first time, it was made of a deep shade of red satin, with sleeves that were made to fall off the shoulders. The skirt was long and slightly ruffled, I stared at it for a minute or two before deciding to try it on. I turned around and stepped into it, the slick material clinging to every curve of my body. Successfully zipping it up, I heard a knock on the door.

“Monica?” I opened the door, much to Iris’ surprise.

“Oh, Monica! It looks so good on you!” she squealed.

“I don’t know…”

“Have you even looked at yourself, yet?” I slowly shook my head. She grabbed my shoulders turning me towards the mirror. My cheeks started to match the color of my dress, what can I say? Red suits me, not as much as blue, but it still looks great on me.

“I’m trimming this skirt,” I giggled.

“That’s the spirit,” Iris said, smiling at me over my shoulder.

A few weeks later, I was sitting in front of my vanity, applying a coat of red lipstick to match my now trimmed dress. I looked at myself and smiled. My golden hair in loose curls, silver heels adorning my feet... Everything was perfect.

Then, the doorbell rang.

I jumped up and stood in the middle of my room, waiting for a knock at my bedroom door. My mom’s voice rang through the house and the sound of footsteps began to get louder and louder. Then came the knock. I turned around to face the young man in front of me wearing a grey suit and red tie, hair gelled up and a smile on his face.

“Barry!” I shouted, walking up to him giving him a tight squeeze. “Nice suit,” I whispered, a grin spreading across my face.

“Same to you, well, not the suit part.” He chuckled, making my eyes crinkle up. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” I whispered, hooking arms with him and walking out my bedroom door.

“You know, I’m feeling a bit of deja vu,” Barry joked.

“Really, I wonder why?” I giggled, turning to face him when we reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Well, you two know the rules,” my mom said, looking between the two of us.

“No alcohol, no drugs, no sex,” Barry and I said in unison.

“Well, lucky for you,” my mom said pointing at me, “The only one that applies tonight is no drugs,” she whispered, winking at me.

“Mom!” I shouted glaring at her, a light blush growing on my cheeks.

“Have fun!” she sang as we walked out the front door.

Music from the school gym could be heard from blocks away, heightening my excitement. Once Barry and I reached the gym we were greeted by a room full of teenagers dancing in blue and purple lights. I looked at him in question and all he did was shrug his shoulders, so we stepped through the doors to the gym. And that’s when the whirlwind of a night started.

Barry and I immediately ran into Iris and her date. We danced and talked for awhile until the conversation got a little bit awkward.

“So Barry, Monica, what do you guys have planned for after the dance?” Iris suggestively asked.

“Well, we were actually planning on going to Jess’ afterpar-”

“Yeah, yeah cut the crap. What do you guys really have planned?” Iris questioned, wiggling her eyebrows. I glared at her and boy did I want to kick her in the shin. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Barry. Trust me, he was a really great friend. But back then, that’s all he was. A really great friend.

“Monica?” Barry’s concerned voice snapped me out of my train of thought. “Are you-”

I spun around, walking as fast as I could.

“I’ll be right back,” I yelled as I walked out of the gym leaving that awkward situation behind me. Gently, I sat down on a cold metal bench in the school courtyard and started fidgeting with my clammy palms. Tears were threatening to pour out of my eyes, a huge lump in my throat was growing larger and larger. My heart was racing a hundred miles a minute and my stomach felt like it was dropping all the way down to hell.

“Not now, not now, not now,” I whispered to myself. “Not now, not now, not now, not now, not n-”

“MONICA!” Barry’s yell made me jump. “Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to- you look like you’re about to cry. What happened? Are you o-”

“No Barry! I’m not okay! I haven’t been in a long time, and I don’t think I ever will be.” I quipped.

“Wh-what do you mean?” he whispered, sitting next to me rubbing my back. I stared at the floor, wondering whether or not I was about to make the right decision. I sniffled

“Barry, I’m not weak okay?” I said, seeing him nod out of the corner of my eye. “I’ve been having attacks...” He cocked his head to the side as I turned to face him. “Anxiety attacks, I just- I get so bothered and angry and I bottle up all of my emotions, and I panic and freak out, and I don’t know what to do anymore,” I sobbed. “I don’t know what to do…” I whispered looking into his eyes.

“Monica… I’m… How long has this been going on for?” he asked, sympathy showing in his facial expressions.

“Since eighth grade and I haven’t told anybody. I just- I don’t want to be seen as a defenseless damsel in distress Barry…” I turned my head back to the floor.

“Hey, look at me,” he whispered, gently pushing my chin towards him. “You are anything but a damsel in distress. Hell, you’re a badass. A super smart, strong, and beautiful badass. I just wish you would have told someone. Your mom. Iris. Me.”

We stared into each other's eyes for a while, the world around us disappearing. In our minds, all that existed was the two of us and our feelings. Suddenly, I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me in for a hug. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, three or four small tears dripping off my cheeks.

“Thanks, Barry” I murmured, he slowly released his hold on me.

“Ready to go back in?” I nodded my head, wiping my cheeks off.

“Yeah, I think it’s slow dance time anyways,” I mumbled, getting up and turning around to wink at him. I held out my hand for him until his was wrapped around it and we walked back into the gym.

(A/N - I was listening to ‘Dancing On My Own’ by Calum Scott while writing the next part, so if you want to be extra look it up on YouTube or Spotify)

Reaching the middle of the gym, I lazily draped my arms around Barry’s shoulders, him placing his hands on my waist. I pressed my head to his chest, listening to his heart, as he swayed as back and forth placing his chin on the top of my head. I closed my eyes as one of his hands left my waist and moved to my hair. The scene was straight out of a sappy teen romance: the broken girl falls for her best friend no matter how much she denies it. Realising this, I looked up into his eyes, then his nose, then lips. Like magic, I closed my eyes and felt another pair of lips touch mine. My heart began to flutter. Everything happened in slow motion. My hands moving to his face, then parting along with my lips, the “Sorry” I whispered. A tear ran down my face as my feet hit the floor on the way out of the gym for the second time that night.

When I reached the doors I turned around, looking back at the tragedy behind me. A young man standing in a crowd full of people, frozen, with tears falling down his cheeks. And for a moment I felt the same way too. Everything we had always wanted was right there, right about to happen.

But it didn’t, it never would.

Only a week later, graduation was in full swing.

A school-wide ceremony would be held at the football stadium, then different parties would be held around town. Unfortunately, parties were not an option for me because I had a flight to Seattle the next morning at six, so I had to spend the evening packing.

Obviously, I didn’t get into Stanford, but I knew I’d do great at Washington State. Only a few hours before the ceremony, I was going over my valedictorian speech. Or at least I was trying to. Something, more like someone, else was holding my thoughts hostage. Barry and I hadn’t spoken since prom.

Since I told him about my anxiety attacks.

Since we had danced together.

Since we kissed each other.

Since I walked away...

But I had to stay focused, today was important, and I could figure things out later.

“You ready sweetheart?” my mom asked, placing her soft hands on my shoulders.

“Yeah,” I sighed. The ride there was silent. Partially because my mom wasn’t ready for me to move across the country and partially because I was not ready to leave my life there and how it was ending. The stadium was full of people, crying parents, smiling siblings, and students adorned in caps.

“Now, welcome your valedictorian, Monica Bell.”

Slowly, I trudged up the steps to the makeshift stage, tapping the mic before I began to speak.

“Wow, there’s a lot of you here.” I giggled, scanning the crowd. “Um, that was not scripted… Anyways, what makes a good person? Well, a good person cares. They care about themselves. They care about their grades. They care about-”

Barry locked eyes with mine, a lump in my throat forming.

“-others. The past four years so many of us have been shaped into good people. And I-I hope you- we all stay that way.”

Surprisingly loud cheers were coming from the audience, no matter how crappy that was people still pitied me. I ran off stage and took my seat in the front, praying for this to end soon. All I wanted was to jump on that plane and leave.

The next morning I was standing in the airport with my mom, getting ready to go through security.

“Please remember to call me when you land,” my mom pleaded, holding my hands in her own.

“Mom, you know I won’t forget. You’ll probably be getting a call from me every day the next few months.” I chuckled and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I love you, Monica Lucille,” she whispered.

“Love you too, Mom,” I murmured leaving her warm embrace and walking towards the security checkpoint. Once I got through those metal detectors my adult life would begin. Purple haired Monica would emerge. Monica with a great boyfriend would be introduced to the world. Monica the successful marine biologist would be brought to life. I had a clean slate and I wasn’t afraid to use it. Once I had boarded the plane I closed my eyes. I’ve never enjoyed the initial takeoff, so I’ve always kept my eyes closed until the plane was a couple hundred feet off the ground.

As I looked down at the city below me, tears began to form. Not of sadness, but of nostalgia. Running down Crestdale with Barry, watching chick flicks with Iris, ruining the West’s kitchen with cookie icing. Leaving it all was a bittersweet tragedy and I loved it.

Narrator’s POV

Barry was zooming down the streets of Central City in Joe’s patrol car. Sirens blaring, cars making space for him to get through.

“Come on, come on...” He gritted his teeth as he looked at the clock. Tightening his grip on the wheel, he made a tight turn into the airport parking lot. Not even thinking, he ran through the parking lot and straight to the entrance. He scanned the terminal, trying to find a familiar face in a sea of strangers.

“Ms. Bell! Ms. Bell!” he shouted jogging up to his so-called second mother. “Where is-? I really need to-! Is she-?” Monica’s mom stared into his eyes with sympathy.

“I’m sorry, Barry. She just left.”

Barry let out a chuckle.

“Very funny, Lucy, very funny.” Lucille Bell, for the first time ever, hated her daughter. Her daughter, who left a perfect chance in a horrid state. She watched as her daughter’s perfect chance fell to the ground, curling his knees into his chest that held his broken heart.