a-tiny-thing

[a-tiny-thing]

OMG Y'ALL I WAS SLEEPING AND SUDDENLY HAD A FANFIC IDEA 😭😭😭😭

like can someone write a fic inspired by "Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper" and the reader will be both Annaliese (the real Y/N) and Erika (your doppelgänger) while Yunho as King Dominick and Seonghwa as Julian 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 but you'll end up with both of them at the end, cuz it's still you and you iykwim

IF Y'ALL KNOW THE STORY AND CAN WRITE SUMN RELATED TO IT, PLEASE PLEASE I WANT IT!!!

[a-tiny-thing]

The Cat Burglar's Heist

★ PAIRING: Ceo!Jaehyun x Cat Burglar! Reader

☆ WORD COUNT: 19.6k (sorry TT)

★ GENRE(S): Fluff, smut, angst, drama, strangers to lovers.

☆ SUMMARY: When you attempt to rob a wealthy businessman, things don't go as planned. Instead of calling the police, he offers you a job. Now, you're left uncertain about whether you can truly start anew or if your past will come back to haunt you.

★ ☆ WARNINGS: explicit sex, unprotected sex, minor character death, loneliness, theft

☆★ NOTES: probably gonna be my last fic for awhile so enjoy!

People might call you a pickpocket, a burglar, a larcenist, or a simple thief. Whatever the label, it didn’t matter to you; you always slipped away unnoticed. You never hit the same neighborhood twice, always staying light on your feet and never lingering too long in one place. There was only one rule you lived by.

Don't Get Caught.

Maintaining a low profile was essential whenever you scouted a new neighborhood. As the sun beat down, you strolled through the area with a dog at your side, scanning for the easiest target. The shades you wore partially concealed your identity while shielding your eyes from the scorching sun. Your friend’s dog trotted happily beside you, blissfully unaware of the role it played in your plan. If your friend found out you were using his beloved pet as cover for your schemes, he would kill you. You had to keep this under wraps—after all, your friends were all you had. Stealing was the only way you could keep pace with the lifestyle your friend enjoyed.

You refused to be left behind, so the money you made from stealing became your lifeline for fitting in. Each successful job meant another night out, another round of drinks, and another chance to blend seamlessly into your friend group’s lavish lifestyle. You had built your world around them, and you’d do anything to keep up appearances, even if it meant walking a dangerous line.

Daegal fit right in with the neighborhood, his designer leash and collar catching the sunlight. You wandered deeper into one of the city's wealthiest enclaves, surrounded by towering trees that served as natural barriers for the sprawling estates. Luxury cars glimmered in driveways, while some homes flaunted their riches with intricate architectural designs that spoke of unspoken fortunes.

As you walked, Daegal suddenly slowed his pace, his nose twitching at the approaching scent of another dog. You felt your palms grow clammy around the leash; the fewer people who noticed you, the better. You were keenly aware of the risks, and any unwanted attention could spell trouble.

The older lady, her silver hair gleaming in the afternoon sun, approached with her fluffy Pomeranian in tow. A wave and a smile erupted from her, directed toward Daegal, and you cursed under your breath. The last thing you needed was a conversation.

The two dogs tilted their heads, inspecting one another with the calm demeanor that only well-trained pets possess. You could feel her gaze on you, and you forced a tight smile onto your face, betraying none of your rising anxiety.

Wonderful!

"He's so cute! What's his name?" you ask politely, forcing a bright smile.

"His name is Prince, but the kids call him Pudding," the older woman replies with a hearty laugh.

You let a small chuckle escape your lips. "How adorable!"

"And what about this handsome fella?" she inquires, her eyes sparkling with warmth.

“His name?” Your mind races, almost short-circuiting. "He's… Fluffy!” you say, trying to keep your voice steady and convincing.

You know rich people have more connections than they do money, and there's a good chance she could be linked to your friend Chenle somewhere down the line. It’s safer to spin a little tale.

"Well, he's quite the charmer! I'm sure he’s brought you many joys," she continues, obliviously cheerful, while tension coils tighter in your veins. “It’s a pleasure to have you in the neighborhood! Someone as young and pretty as you would fit right in!” Her compliment catches you off guard, and you feel your cheeks heat slightly at her kind words.

“Thanks!” you reply quickly, hoping to deflect attention from the flush creeping up your face. "I love it here."

She leaned a little closer, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "You know, about a month ago, this really young CEO moved in just a block down. He's a bit too young for me, but my goodness, he’s quite the sight," she said, laughing heartily as she swatted her hand playfully, as if sharing a scandalous secret.

Rich people thrived on gossip, and you realized you didn't have to say much for her to fill you in on exactly what you wanted to know.

"A man like that has to be tied down, right?" you asked, bending down to pet her dog.

"From what I’ve heard, he lives alone," she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. "Apparently, he works all the time. Word is, he comes home late every night. My husband says he drives an Aston Martin."

Bingo

"Thanks for the heads-up about the neighborhood hottie, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now," you joked, lightly chuckling to keep the conversation light. Just then, Daegal began to fidget, sensing your restlessness, and you took it as your cue to leave. "I’ll see you around, okay?"

As you walked a block down, your heart raced when you spotted a sleek black Aston Martin parked in a long driveway. The houses in this neighborhood were enormous. Although the properties weren’t far apart; the homes were set back from the road, mostly hidden by towering trees that provided an extra layer of privacy.

A young CEO who lives alone and works late.

You mentally sifted through the details you had gleaned from your earlier conversation. He was the perfect target.

Rich people were easy targets. Their homes, adorned with elaborate security measures, falsely reassured them of safety; all it did was signal that they had something worth taking. The flashy yard signs proclaiming "This home is under surveillance by _" told you their security company, which then told you the equipment they used. It wasn't hard to figure out how to disable it from there.

It had been a week since you first gathered your intel. Through careful observation, you had mapped out a schedule for when the house was empty and discovered how to bypass the alarm system. You’d managed to catch glimpses of the homeowner from a distance. The rumors were true; he carried himself with a confidence that only added to his undeniable charm.

Tonight was the night you would make your move. Clad in a black hoodie and sweatpants, you pull your bag over your shoulder and approach the perimeter of the house. Your heart was racing with adrenaline. You navigated the landscape smoothly, well aware of the blind spots in the security cameras. Timing was critical; every second counted.

You pressed yourself against the side of the window, heart pounding as you carefully peeked through the curtain. The green light on the alarm system by the door confirmed it wasn’t armed. This was a stroke of luck. According to your calculations, he should still be at work, and it appeared he had rushed out without arming the system.

You hesitated briefly, knowing this part was your least favorite. Breaking a window was always an awkward and potentially noisy affair. No matter how silent you tried to be, it was impossible to avoid the sound entirely. Taking a deep breath, you picked up a nearby rock, and with a swift, calculated strike, you shattered the glass.

The clatter echoed in the stillness, sending a surge of adrenaline through your veins, but you quickly reminded yourself to keep moving. You reached inside and unlocked the window, then climbed through carefully, stepping over the brittle shards that crunched beneath your feet as they scattered onto the plush carpet.

You found yourself in an open den, its decor exuding wealth and taste. Valuable paintings adorned the walls—masterpieces, maybe—but nothing small enough to pocket. You needed to keep going, focusing on finding something worthwhile.

Peeking your head out of the room, you scanned the hallway. Silence enveloped the house, amplifying the sound of your racing heartbeat. No sign of any pets, which was a relief. You made your way toward the primary areas, passing under the large winding staircase that commanded attention in the center of the home.

The layout seemed to follow suit with luxury; hallways branched off to what you assumed were the kitchen and living spaces. The primary room was likely upstairs, but there were many drawers and cabinets you could check on this level. Eager to find where the real valuables might be stashed, you decided to take a brief look around before venturing up the staircase. You shuffled quietly down the hall.

You glanced into a few rooms—one vast space was styled as a study, filled with leather-bound books and expensive-looking gadgets. A quick search through the drawers revealed a few electronic devices you could easily pocket. Moving on, you turned towards the kitchen, where gleaming countertops hinted at a lifestyle of lavish dinners and entertaining guests.

You couldn’t imagine why he would ever need a home this large if he lived alone; the sprawling floor plan was almost excessive. Each room you passed seemed to hold its own story, yet they stood untouched, as if waiting for guests that would never arrive. The formal dining room sported an enormous mahogany table, set for a feast that would never happen, and the living room boasted a grand piano that echoed a silent invitation to a party long forgotten. The atmosphere felt eerie, the elaborate decor clashing with the emptiness—like a stage set for a play that had never opened.

Your eyes darted toward the staircase. The rich wooden banister glimmered in the ambient light, inviting you to explore the secrets that lay above. You took a deep breath and ascended carefully. As you reached the landing, you spotted a door at the end of the hallway slightly ajar, the flicker of a light spilling into the dim corridor.

When you enter the room, the sweet aroma of cologne lingered in the air like a ghost, a faint reminder of its owner. The sheer magnitude of the space left you speechless. Adrenaline surged through your veins, propelling you forward to the side tables flanking the expansive bed. There, you quickly spotted a discarded high-end watch, its polished surface glimmering in the light. Alongside it lay a selection of intricate rings, each one whispering tales of luxury and allure.

As you rifled through the drawers, your fingers brushed against something solid—a wallet. You opened it, and your eyes immediately fell on the ID card nestled inside.

Jung Jaehyun 02/14/1997

Beneath the ID, you found a stack of credit cards and a few loose bills, all waiting to be claimed. You quickly slipped the wallet into your pocket. You approached the closet, and a gasp escaped your lips as the sight hit you—it resembled a mini-designer store. Expensive shoes, luxurious clothes, and shimmering jewelry lined the walls and shelves, all begging to be claimed. You wasted no time, swiftly swiping rings, watches, chains, and even a pair of stunning shoes, each item adding to the growing bounty in your backpack.

As you rummaged through the treasures, something caught your eye: a safe tucked behind a row of suits. Intrigued, you pushed the garments aside to inspect the lock. Cracking your neck, you glanced at the time—plenty of hours remained before he would return.

Just then, you heard footsteps outside the closet, and your heart dropped. You instinctively moved to hide behind the rack of suits, heart pounding in your ears.

“What the fuck?” A voice sliced through the silence, unmistakably belonging to the man you had been eyeing all week.

You held your breath, peering through the fabric. The hope flickered that he might just turn away and call the police, giving you a chance to slip out unnoticed. But instead, he stepped further into the closet, and your heart raced as you caught your first glimpse of him up close..

His hair glistened with moisture, and he wore nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, droplets of water still cascading down his skin, the steam from his shower enveloping him like a shroud. You had never seen him this close before, and the image was seared into your memory. He looked as if he had been sculpted from stone by the most masterful artist, every muscle defined, every feature striking.

His eyes narrowed as he surveyed the chaos—the discarded clothes on the floor, the missing racks of jewelry, the disarray of his closet. An annoyed sigh escaped his lips, and just as he seemed ready to turn away and leave, his gaze locked onto your hiding spot.

A jolt of panic shot through you, and you instinctively jumped back, trying to press yourself further into the fabric of the clothes. You held your breath, heart racing, as he took a step closer, eyes narrowing in suspicion. It was a moment of vulnerability and danger, a breathless standoff between the two of you.

Don't get caught

His steps were cautious as he approached, each footfall echoing in the silence of the closet. One hand gripped his towel tightly, clearly trying to maintain his modesty, while the other reached out hesitantly toward the clothes.

If it came to it, you knew you would have to fight him off and make a run for it, but with each passing second, you realized just how difficult that would be. He was built solidly and his height towered over you, casting an imposing shadow.

What if he got his hands on you? The thought sent a wave of dread through you. There would be no escaping him then.

Fuck

In a surge of adrenaline, you dashed out from your hiding spot, heart racing. His eyes widen in surprise as you rush past him, but the exhilaration of your escape was short-lived. Just a few feet away, you felt a sudden tug on your backpack that yanked you backwards.

You hit the floor with a thud, groaning as the impact jolted through you. Before you could recover, you felt a strong grip pinning you down, his hand firm against your shoulders. Panic set in, and you thrashed against his hold, fighting to break free, but he was unyielding.

As your struggle continued, exhaustion began to creep in. The fight drained from you, and you finally stopped, staring up at the man who had you pinned beneath him. His wet hair hung down over you, droplets cascading down onto your face.. His stern eyes bore into yours—there was an intensity that made your breath hitch, a mix of disbelief and something else entirely.

"Let me go!" you demanded, though your voice came out weaker than you intended. If it weren't for the predicament you found yourself in, you would have been unable to stop your wandering eyes. The towel around his waist was precariously close to slipping, a detail that, in ordinary circumstances, might have made you blush. But now, survival instincts prevailed over all else.

“If you try to run, I’ll call the cops,” he said matter-of-factly, and the gravity of his threat sent a chill down your spine.

A beat passed, your heart pounding in your chest, and finally, you nodded, conceding to the reality of the situation. There was no escape now; he had you right where he wanted you.

He released his grip on you and pulled himself off the floor, adjusting his towel. “Back to the closet, now,” he commanded, and you shuffled reluctantly back into the space that had formerly felt enticing but was now suffocating.

As you stepped in, you found yourself standing in front of the center island, where the glimmer of jewels had once laid. He followed you, shutting the door behind him, his body leaning against it like a barrier between you and freedom.

“Is everything you took in that bag?” He asked, his tone even, but there was an undertone of curiosity mixed with authority.

With a heavy heart, you hung your head and nodded, pulling your backpack off your shoulders and placing it on the floor in front of you. You could almost feel the weight of the stolen items pressing down on your conscience. You'd had visions of making thousands selling his valuables, the thrill of your heist driving you forward. But now, in the dim light of the closet, remorse washed over you like a tide.

“I’m really sorry, I—” you started, the words stumbling from your lips. What could you possibly say in a situation like this? Sorry, I almost stole a fortune from you? It felt absurd, but you didn't know how to express the chaos swirling within you.

He moved closer, looming over you as his intent gaze seemed to dissect every part of your being. It sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt small beneath his scrutiny. When he reached down, you thought he was about to pick up his possessions. But instead, he grabbed a discarded pair of sweats, and you felt a rush of a different kind of embarrassment as he stood up straight, his towel dropping to the ground. You instinctively looked away, sparing him what felt like an invasion of privacy.

Once he was dressed, he stepped back out of the closet, leaving you with a mix of relief and confusion. "Straighten this up, then come see me. Bring that bag and everything you tried to take with you," he ordered.

You swallowed hard. “Where are you going? Are you going to call the cops?”

Your mind raced with possibilities—how clever would he be if he made you tidy up while the police were on their way?

“Do as I say and you will have nothing to worry about," he replied, and there was an edge to his voice. "I don't like messes; clean that up before I change my mind."

Frustration mingled with a strange sense of gratitude. You were infuriated that he was ordering you around like a subordinate, yet the alternative—a police record—loomed much larger in your mind. Why wasn’t he calling the cops?

Taking a deep breath, you began to survey the mess you had made in your frantic attempt to bag his stuff.

It took you at least an hour to set everything back in its rightful place. You meticulously reorganized the jewelry, aligning necklaces and bracelets, smoothing over the disarray you'd caused. You busied yourself with invisible tasks afterward, finding solace in the repetitive act of pretending to straighten his shoes for the fifth time. Avoiding the inevitable confrontation with him was becoming a game of denial.

“I know you’re done; come here,” he commanded, and you froze for a moment. Biting your lip to gather your thoughts, you hesitantly grabbed your bag and stepped out into his room. He was seated on the massive California king bed, an imposing figure that radiated a mix of authority and casual dominance. Leaning back against his hands, he looked every bit like a king surveying his domain, and the sight sent a fresh wave of nerves through you.

“I know it probably doesn’t mean anything to you, but again, I’m really sorry,” you said, forcing the words out as you handed him the bag.

He took the bag from your grasp without much acknowledgment, his focus elsewhere. “Sit down,” he instructed.

You shifted uncomfortably, the anxiety bubbling to the surface. What more could he possibly want from you? He had said he would let you go, hadn’t he? “Sit where?” You looked around the spacious room, taking in the lack of chairs or any other furniture that might serve as a place for you to perch.

He finally lifted his gaze, his hair still damp from the shower, falling into his eyes. “Sit on your knees, right there,” he said, pointing to a spot on the floor in front of him.

You bristled at the command, a mix of confusion and indignation flooding through you. Kneeling before him felt like a submission you had not anticipated, and despite the gravity of your earlier actions, you hesitated to comply with his demands.

“I—" you stammered, trying to find the right words, but nothing came out that didn't sound foolish or defiant.

Seeing your hesitation, his expression shifted slightly, a mixture of patience and something else in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. "You can either sit down like I asked, or we can have a much longer discussion about how this is going to go," he suggested, his tone low but firm, setting the stage for whatever decision you had to make next.

Slowly, you lowered yourself onto the floor, feeling the cool surface beneath your knees, and looked up at him, preparing for whatever was to come next.

He reached behind him and pulled out his phone, an unmistakable sense of dread washing over you as he dug into your bag, retrieving the stolen items one by one. Each piece felt like another nail in your coffin.

He was definitely calling the cops TT

But instead of pressing the call button, he seemed to be calculating something. “$532,724,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

Your throat tightened at the reality of that number. You were going to jail. Panic bubbled in your chest, and you fought the urge to cry.

He ran a hand through his hair, the frustration evident on his face. “Let’s see how well you clean up,” he said, standing up and ushering you back toward the closet with a wave of his hand.

You stared at him, your heart pounding as his eyes scanned the confines of the closet where you'd made sure to return everything to its original place. His expression was unreadable at first, a blank canvas that made fear swirl in your stomach. But then it softened, surprising you further.

“Not bad. What’s your name?” He asked, his tone almost casual.

You swallowed hard before nervously answering, “Y/N.”

“How would you like a job, Y/N?”

Your eyebrows shot up, and your jaw dropped in disbelief. This had to be a sick joke. “Excuse me? I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m following,” you stammered, incredulous.

“You will work for me to pay off the debt that you owe,” he replied matter-of-factly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Wait, I didn’t actually take anything!” You argued, your mind racing to process his proposal.

“But you tried,” he shrugged, his casual demeanor shifting to something more serious. “It’s about principle. You made a choice, and now you have to make it right.”

“Are you seriously saying I have to work for you to pay off half a million dollars?” You felt the heat rise in your cheeks, a mix of indignation and disbelief gripping you.

“I could always call the police,” he said lightly, but the weight of his words sunk in with more gravity than you expected.

“Whoa now, no one said I wouldn't help,” you laughed nervously, trying to lighten the mood but failing to shake the anxiety coiling within you.

“Great! You start tomorrow. Come in business attire,” he said with a yawn, as if he were sending you off to a regular job rather than a complicated arrangement born out of desperation.

You turned to follow him out, not sure why you're trying so hard to argue him down “Wait, wha—”

Suddenly, a bright flash burst in front of you, and you stumbled backward, temporarily blinded. You blink a few times, trying to regain your bearings. “Ow! What was that for?” you exclaimed, rubbing your eyes.

He smirked as he lowered his phone, the camera still pointed at you. “If you try to run, I’ll post this picture online and tell the world what you’ve done. Then I’ll hand it over to the police so they can track you down.” His gaze was icy as he scrutinized you, taking in every detail. “I have the resources to find you. Don’t make me have to look for you.”

You felt a mix of anger and fear bubble up inside you. “So you’re blackmailing me?” you huff.

“I’m giving you a second chance,” he corrected, his tone slipping back into that unsettling calmness. He stepped closer, grabbing your shoulders with a surprisingly firm grip. “8 a.m. tomorrow. Now get out.”

Before you could respond, he gave you a gentle push by your shoulders, urging you toward the staircase. You stumbled slightly but regained your footing. As you made your way down the stairs and out of his house, Your circumstances settled squarely on your shoulders. He wasn’t just a thief of your freedom; he was now your employer, your keeper—at least for the foreseeable future.

He walked with you to the front door, his face a mix of annoyance and curiosity. Just as he was about to close the door in your face, he paused and turned back. “How did you get in?” he quirked a brow.

A small, nervous smile crept onto your lips as you fumbled for an explanation. “Uh, I broke a window,” you admitted.

Jaehyun regards you with an unimpressed stare.

“I’ll clean it up tomorrow!” you added, trying to lighten the mood. “Heh… add it to my bill?”

The door slammed shut in your face, the sound echoing in the cool night air. You turned away from the door and took a few steps down the front path, your mind racing.

The situation was certainly absurd.

—

You roll out of bed at 6 a.m. with a groan, the early morning light cutting through your curtains. You’ve never been a morning person, and the thought of facing the day fills you with dread. After washing up, you slip into an outfit that fits the dress code he set for you—a blend of professional and approachable that feels foreign against your skin.

As you glance at your reflection in the mirror, a fleeting thought crosses your mind: what if you just ran away? With the money you’ve saved up, you could leave everything behind and start anew.

Dont make me find you.

His words echo ominously in your head, sending a shiver down your spine. Jaehyun was an enigma; you could hardly wrap your mind around him, but one thing was clear: he had the resources to track you down, wherever you might try to escape.

You gather your things and head out. When you finally arrive and buzz through the gate surrounding his property, it feels surreal to be walking through the front door. Just a day ago, you’d been climbing over his fence and breaking windows—now you were entering as if you belonged.

As Jaehyun lets you inside, you take in the surroundings anew. The sunlight floods the foyer of his mansion, revealing the space you'd barely noticed in your previous haste.

“Stop gawking. I’ll be back down in a bit; I need to finish getting ready. Go clean up the glass you broke,” he commands coldly, his tone leaving no room for argument as he strides back upstairs. His words and the task ahead settle over you as you prepare to face the mess you made, both physically and metaphorically.

“StOp GawKinG….gO CleAn Up thA GlasS,” you mumble under your breath when he’s out of earshot.

You roll your eyes at his cold demeanor, dismissing it as you head toward the den where you had sneaked in during your last visit. Peeking into the room, you’re greeted by a messy carpet littered with shards of glass. At least the window has been boarded up now. As the daylight streams in, you start to appreciate the paintings that line the walls, each one vibrant and expressive in its own right.

One piece catches your attention more than the others—a striking red canvas that emanates an intense energy. The angry strokes twist together in a way that’s both chaotic and mesmerizing, leaving you to ponder what the artist was trying to convey. As you peer closely, you can’t help but notice the name “Jung Jaehyun” inked subtly in one corner. Your gaze travels around the room, noticing the easel and paints tucked away in the corner; it dawns on you that this isn’t just a display but his workspace. The hard wood beneath your feet breaks the carpeted expanse, revealing about a third of the room transformed into an art studio. Impressed by his talent, you find yourself captivated, the earlier tension momentarily forgotten as you admire the skill behind the chaos.

You shake yourself out of the trance, the allure of the art momentarily fading as you remind yourself of your task. You need to find a vacuum and a trash bin—cleaning up that glass is a priority. Determined, you set off through the rest of the house.

You remember stumbling upon the cleaning closet during your earlier escapades, and you make your way back to it. As you wander, a sense of loneliness hangs in the air, and your suspicions about Jaehyun’s solitary lifestyle only deepen. There was no waitstaff, no other residents—just him in this grand mansion.

You finally locate the vacuum in the cleaning closet, and with the trash bin in hand, you retrace your steps back to the art studio. You kneel on the floor, methodically clean up the shards of glass and place the larger pieces into the bin. You finish cleaning just in time for Jaehyun to come back downstairs.

He fixes the cufflinks on his suit before grabbing his keys. “What else should I tidy up for you? Is there a list somewhere?” You ask.

Jaehyun gives you a puzzled look. “You’re coming with me,” he replies.

You blink, momentarily caught off guard. “I thought I was…" You trail off.

He lets out a laugh, one that surprises you—it's light and genuine, completely at odds with his usual demeanor. His eyes crinkle up, revealing warm dimples that you find surprisingly charming in that moment. “You thought you were going to be doing housework?”

You roll your eyes. “Well, what else is there for me to do?”

His expression becomes more serious, though the hint of a playful smile still lingers. “I said I had a job for you, and I meant it. Come on.” He opens the door for you, locking the house behind him with a click.

As you both walk toward his car, you can’t help but ask, “Where was your car yesterday?” Strapping yourself in, you feel a mix of bitterness and curiosity about how you ended up getting caught snooping—you really should have paid more attention. If his car had been parked outside, you’d have known he was home.

“It was in the shop,” he replies casually, turning the key in the ignition. “I needed new rims. Have you eaten yet?”

Your stomach growls audibly, and you nod in agreement and Jaehyun stops to get breakfast. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked biscuits fills the car as he orders.

As he goes to pay, you watch him rummage through his pockets, brow furrowing in frustration. It’s then that you feel a pang of guilt. You had meant to return his wallet, found tucked away in your pocket after your first encounter. Nervously, you pull it out and offer it to him, trying to lighten the moment. “Whoops, how’d that get in there?” You joke lightly, but when you glance up, you notice the glare he’s giving you.

“Seriously?” he replies.

You stutter out an apology as you take a cautious bite of your biscuit, almost choking when you see where he’s pulled into next. Your eyes widen as you take in the imposing tall building—it’s sleek and modern, with huge glass windows reflecting the bustling streets of downtown. The heart of the city is alive, and your heart races with both excitement and nerves.

Jaehyun turns to you, a flicker of amusement dancing in his eyes. “Surprised? I did say I had a job for you.”

“Uh, I thought we were just going to tidy up at home?” you say, trying to mask your nerves.

As you walk through the lobby beside Jaehyun, you can't help but notice the stares that follow you. Heads turn, whispers flit around as employees greet him warmly. "Good morning, Mr. Jung!" They say, beaming at him with admiration. When their gaze finally shifts to you, you catch a mix of confusion and curiosity on their faces. It’s both flattering and mildly embarrassing standing next to someone so well-regarded and polished. You try to maintain your composure, forcing a smile in response, even as you feel a bit out of place.

After navigating through the maze of cubicles and glass-walled offices, you finally enter Jaehyun's office—spacious, elegantly designed, with a view that overlooks the bustling city streets. The decor is smart and sophisticated, reflecting his professional persona. Once the door clicks shut behind you, Jaehyun makes his way over to his desk to settle into for the day.

Jaehyun leans back in his chair, crossing his arms as he looks at you with a serious expression. “You’re going to be my secretary,” he states plainly.

Your mouth drops open in surprise. “Wait, what? A secretary?” The idea is almost absurd. “Isn’t that a bit… much? I mean, you do realize I’m not exactly qualified for that, right?”

“I’ll teach you everything you need to know. Plus, it’ll pay way better than doing house chores.”

With a deep breath, you straighten your posture, letting determination creep in. “Whats there to lose?”

—

Being Jaehyun's secretary meant answering his calls, scheduling meetings, and running errands. Of course you could do those tasks… you just couldn't do them well.

A little desk had been set up in Jaehyun's office, where most of your day-to-day tasks took place. His office boasted expansive floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a breathtaking view of the city. At night, the bustling streets below transformed into a magical landscape, with streetlights, headlights, and stoplights twinkling like stars.

You couldn’t help but blame the close proximity of your workspaces for your increasing difficulty with even the simplest tasks, like getting his coffee order right.

You had brought him his morning coffee, like he asked. You still hadn't gotten used to running his errands in his car. You felt so out of place at the office and the whispers and curious glances from your “coworkers” only heightened your anxiety.

When you finally brought him the morning coffee he had requested, your heart raced with hope for approval. But as he took a sip, his focus remained elsewhere, and he set the cup down without meeting your eyes. “It’s wrong, but you’ll get it right next time,” he said, casually brushing off your mistake. “There's plenty of time for you to improve.”

You bit your lip, anxious to prove that you could handle this role. You didn’t want to be seen as a screw-up, but everything felt overwhelming lately. Jaehyun shoos you away, giving you a task to retrieve printed papers from the printer. Your mind was a flurry of thoughts as you returned, but when you stumbled slightly, you fumbled the stack of papers in your hands.

As the papers fall from your grasp, you accidentally knock over a coffee cup, sending the contents spilling across the desk. The dark liquid splashed over papers, pooling on the surface.

Heart racing, you froze, staring at the mess you had just created. “Oh no!” you exclaimed, scrambling to grab napkins from the nearby drawer, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Just breathe,” he said, reaching over to help you clean up the spill. “How do you call yourself a cat burglar with how clumsy you are?” Jaehyun asked, the bemused look on his face suggesting he genuinely wanted to know.

The napkins did little to absorb the liquid, and you could feel the heat seeping through, burning your fingertips. You let out a small wince, instinctively pulling your hand back. Jaehyun sighed at your reaction, and you flicked your wrist in an attempt to shake off the pain while still trying to contain the mess.

“Just hold on,” you muttered to yourself, picking up his laptop and elevating it to protect it from the potential disaster. The last thing you needed was to add an expensive repair bill to the debt you already owed him.

As you awkwardly juggled multiple items that had once laid neatly on his desk, trying to salvage the situation, you suddenly noticed Jaehyun stand up. He took off his suit jacket and, before you could protest, he used it to mop up the spilled coffee.

You gasped as the coffee splashed onto his jacket, but Jaehyun seemed completely unfazed. With purposeful strides, he walked over to you and gently took the items you were juggling, placing them down safely on a part of his desk that wasn’t sticky. Without a word, he grasped your hands, examining your fingers, which were twitching from the pain and already showing signs of red irritation from the hot liquid.

He blew softly on your fingertips, and for a moment, the world around you faded as you met his gaze. The warmth in his chocolate depths almost pulled you in, but before you could lose yourself in that moment, you quickly pulled away.

“I’ll go grab a towel. That’s going to make the wood sticky,” you stammered, turning quickly to leave, your cheeks burning from the tension that hung between you.

You hurried to the bathroom, running cool water over your fingers to soothe the slight burn. Leaning against the edge of the sink, you took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts. After a moment, you gathered a few items from the cleaning closet, bracing yourself for what lay ahead.

As you walked back, you passed the break room and inadvertently overheard a conversation that made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

“She’s probably sleeping with him. Mr. Jung has never taken on a secretary before,” one voice whispered.

“That’s what I heard. Not to mention she’s terrible at her job. She just gets in the way. Last week she accidentally printed 300 copies of a page because she didn’t know to hit the cancel button! We ran out of ink because of her, and now I have to go downstairs for my copies until a new order comes in!” another voice chimed in, laced with irritation.

You bristled at their accusations, knowing they were talking about you. It stung, but you pressed on, scurrying past and heading back to Jaehyun’s office. After giving a soft knock, you stepped inside.

Jaehyun had moved away from his desk, now seated on the couch in the corner of his office. He was typing away on his computer, still nursing the little coffee he had left that you had brought him earlier—a cup you knew he didn’t like, judging by the face he made when he first tasted it. His sleeves were rolled up, the tie discarded on the armrest, and the first button of his shirt was undone.

You tried not to stare, focusing instead on the mess at his desk. Moving over, you began cleaning up the sticky residue left by the spilled coffee.

“Excuse me,” you clear your throat. “Is it okay if I drop this off at the cleaners?” you asked, holding up his soiled jacket.

He didn’t look up from his screen, continuing to type away on his computer. “Go ahead, but please be careful,” he replied, pulling his keys from his pocket without sparing you a glance.

“That’s okay; I can just walk. There’s one not too far from here,” you said, attempting to dismiss the need to take his car.

Finally, he looked up at you, his brow slightly furrowed. “You never had a problem with driving my car before. Did something happen?” He asked, setting his laptop aside, his focus entirely on you.

“Well, no, I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea. I mean, I just kinda showed up out of nowhere and suddenly I’m moving into your office and driving your car,” you tried to explain, feeling your anxiety spike. “No one knows why I’m really here, and I can only imagine the types of things people are imagining.”

“What kind of things could they be imagining?” He replied, staring at you blankly.

You laugh at the statement but when you realize he's not being sarcastic, your face drops. You often wonder what kind of person Jaehyun was and what he did for fun. He always seemed to be looking at the world for the first time.

"Well,” you began, gathering your thoughts. “Imagining the types of things I would’ve had to do to get this job,” you said, hoping he would fill in the blanks.

He waited quietly, eyes steady on you, prompting you to continue. “Things like sleeping with you to get this job,” you finally admitted, your heart racing as you vocalized the thought.

Jaehyun's eyes widened, and you noticed his ears reddening, making you wonder if he truly hadn’t known about the whispers circulating around the office. Clearing his throat, he seemed to collect himself.

“You don’t need to worry about things like that,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “I don’t want you being gone long. Take the car, and if anyone has something to say, they can come to me about it.”

His gaze was stern, the kind that made you feel as though challenging him would be futile. You could sense the protective edge in his words, and it surprised you. There was a part of you that appreciated his willingness to shield you from the gossip. “Okay, if you insist,” you replied, unable to suppress the small smile tugging at your lips. The gesture felt surprisingly comforting. “I’ll be quick.”

He seemed to relax a little at your compliance, his expression softening. “Thank you. And, uh, drive safely,” he added, almost shyly.

As you walked to the car, you found yourself reflecting on his words. Maybe it was time to focus on proving yourself here, to rise above the whispers and make your mark in the company. Regardless of how you came to be in this position, you were determined to show them—and yourself—that you were worth it.

—

Ever since that day, when you arrived at the office, the halls were silent, and no one stared at you and Jaehyun as you walked side by side.. The building buzzed along like usual. You were relieved. Your shoulders felt lighter in the absence of judgmental glances, and instinctively, you walked a little straighter, head held high, eyes forward rather than downcast.

As you entered Jaehyun's office, you set your things down at the little desk he had allotted for you, diving into your daily routine of answering emails and organizing his meetings. You found your rhythm quickly, the morning shift feeling productive as you ticked off tasks. The sound of your typing filled the room, creating a comforting background noise.

Halfway through the shift, you stretched your arms overhead, stifling a yawn. Out of curiosity, you peeked over at Jaehyun to see how he was faring. He had leaned back in his chair, his neatly combed hair falling over his closed eyes, looking surprisingly peaceful in the soft glow of sunlight streaming in through the window. The light danced around him, illuminating his desk, and for a moment, you couldn't help but admire how beautiful he looked.

Even after a month of working together, you still didn't know much about Jaehyun's personal life. You had gone over the basics: he lived alone, was single, and kept his family life largely private. Each interaction left you with more questions than answers, and you found yourself scratching your head at the blank spaces in your understanding of him.

You assumed that the high-ranking position had simply been handed down to him—a legacy passed through generations. But you had never heard any whispers about a preceding CEO or what led Jaehyun to take the helm.

Amidst the riddles, the only one you had solved was his coffee order: a no-foam skimmed latte with an extra shot, plus three drip coffees with room for milk. It was a peculiar detail to cling to, yet it felt like a small piece of Jaehyun you could call your own, a little insight he had unknowingly shared during your numerous morning coffee runs.

Your thoughts whirled as you watched him sleep, a wave of warmth washing over you. It was strange how quickly you had grown accustomed to his presence and how much you found yourself wanting to know about the man behind the polished façade. What did he do on weekends? What made him laugh? What were his dreams and aspirations beyond this office?

Suddenly, he’s awake and staring back at you, and you stop smiling, turning to busy yourself. You clear your throat. “You have a meeting at 3 PM,” you mention, making an excuse.

“Thank you,” he responds.

He yawns and cracks his neck before standing from his desk. “We should go grab something to eat before then.”

You don't expect him to take you halfway across town; normally, you just grab him something from the cafe down the street. A bit apprehensive, you worry about making it back on time with the traffic ahead.

Silence engulfs the car as it inches through the congestion. Jaehyun sits relaxed in his seat, his thumb tapping a rhythm against the steering wheel as he looks ahead. You decide to kill the time with some conversation.

“How do you manage living in that large house all by yourself?” you ask, trying to chip away at the silence.

Jaehyun shifts in his seat. “You get used to it, I suppose. It’s peaceful. Quiet.”

“Yeah, but don’t you ever feel lonely? I mean, it’s a huge place. I can’t imagine wandering through all those empty rooms.”

He pauses, eyes still on the road. “Loneliness is…relative. I find solace in my work. It distracts me.”

“But work can only fill so much, right? Everybody needs someone sometimes.”

“Not everyone has someone to lean on, A. Sometimes it’s easier to just…keep to yourself.” Jaehyun looks over.

“I get that. I guess I’ve been on my own for a while too. Never really had a stable family or anything. Just me and the streets.”

“So, what was it like? Living like that?” Jaehyun asks curiously.

“It was tough. You learn to be resourceful and to adapt. But it also gets exhausting.”

You had a rough upbringing; your parents were neglectful, and as soon as you turned 18, they kicked you out. You turned to the streets to get by, making connections with a few questionable figures, but they taught you what you needed to survive. Soon, you were taking care of yourself and hanging out with better crowds.

“Why don’t you talk about your family or friends? It feels like you’ve built up walls—like you’re living in that house, but you’re not really there,” you ask.

Jaehyun takes a deep breath, carefully choosing his words. “It’s complicated. I’ve lost people—friends, family… When you start at the top, it’s hard to trust anyone. Everyone has their own agenda.”

You wince slightly at his words; of course he didn’t open up to you. Trust issues are understandable, especially after you tried to rob him.

“Sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith and give people a chance. You never know who they might turn out to be,” you suggest gently.

He pauses, letting your words linger in the air, before responding with a nod of acknowledgment. As traffic finally begins to move, you turn to look out the window, watching the world blur by.

Eventually, the car pulls into a cozy little bakery nestled on a side street. The overgrown greenery surrounding it gives the place a charming, almost hidden feel. A LED sign in the window brightens the words “Doughyoungs.” Stepping inside, a small bell chimes, and the delectable aroma of freshly baked bread wraps around you like a warm hug. Your mouth waters as you glance around.

The bakery is empty, but it exudes warmth and invites you further in. The display case is filled with tempting treats: crusty artisan breads, flaky croissants, colorful macarons, decadent cakes, and an assortment of cookies. Your heart feels lighter in this space; it seems like a hidden gem, the kind of place that just might feel like home.

“BE RIGHT WITH YOU!” a voice calls from the back of the shop. A tall man in a flour-dusted apron steps into the front room, wiping his hands on the fabric, a broad smile spreading across his face.

“Oh, Jaehyun! It’s been a while!” He steps closer, his tone filled with a sense of familiarity. “You brought a friend?”

You glance at the man’s name tag—Doyoung. It clicks; he must be the owner of the bakery.

“Yeah, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Jaehyun introduces, gesturing toward you. “And Y/N, this is Doyoung. He’s a good friend of mine.”

“His only friend,” Doyoung corrects with a playful wink before extending his hand toward you. “Nice to meet you!”

The three of you settle down at a small, round table in the corner of “Doughyoung’s,” sunlight streaming through the window and illuminating the inviting atmosphere. A warm plate of croissants sits in the center of the table as Doyoung pours steaming cups of coffee for you and Jaehyun.

You reach for a flaky croissant, the buttery aroma enveloping you. You’ve just met Doyoung, but your instant fondness for him grows as he recounts hilarious stories about Jaehyun, leaving you wiping a tear from the corner of your eye at one particularly embarrassing tale.

“How long have you two been friends?” you ask, still chuckling.

“We go way back to college,” Doyoung replies, a reminiscent smile on his face. “We were both fresh out of high school, and honestly, we couldn’t have been more different. He was this focused, ambitious guy trying to conquer the world, while I was just… well, trying to figure things out.”

You nod, picturing the difference between the two of them. “What about you?” Doyoung adds, leaning in with a mischievous glint in his eye. “How did you manage to land such a serious guy as your boss?”

You stuff your mouth with croissants, desperately trying to think of an answer that isn’t a lie.

“Sorry to cut story time short, but I have a meeting at 3,” he says, finishing his coffee and rising to push in his chair. You follow suit, a little relieved that your escape has come so soon. Doyoung was kind and you couldn't bring yourself to lie to him, but you couldn't exactly tell him you had attempted to rob his best friend.

“It was really nice to meet you, Doyoung,” you wave goodbye, offering a genuine smile as you shuffle out after Jaehyun.

Doyoung smiles and waves as you leave, his infectious energy lingering in the air. The drive back is quiet, but this time, the silence feels different—more comfortable. The gentle hum of the engine and the sounds of the outside world fade into the background as you steal glances at Jaehyun, who remains focused on the road ahead.

—

Since you started working with Jaehyun, today was probably the first time that everything seemed to go your way. You even managed to finish your tasks early. As you straighten up your desk, gathering papers and tidying the space, you’re on your way out when he walks in, his expression curious.

“You’re leaving?” he asks, making his way toward his own desk.

“Yeah, I finished up early,” you reply, grabbing your bag. “I was just going to catch the bus home.”

He nods, pausing for a moment. “Did you organize that pile of paperwork I gave you?”

“All organized and labeled,” you confirm, a sense of pride swelling in your chest.

“What about that email I sent you to look over? Did you make sure everything was in order for that conference?”

“Done and scheduled,” you say, feeling accomplished.

Jaehyun looks like he wants to say something more, as if he’s searching for another reason to keep you there. “Well, if you’re finished, we can head out together,” he suggests, beginning to pack his briefcase.

“Are you sure?” you ask, a hint of hesitation in your voice. “If there’s something you need to finish up here, I don’t want to hold you back.”

“I can finish it at home,” he replies, already standing and heading toward the door.

You share a brief glance, and there’s something in his demeanor that tells you he genuinely wants your company. You can’t help but smile as you follow him outside.

When you get back to Jaehyun's house, you expect him to finally let you off the hook, but instead, he keeps you around a little longer. He finds minuscule tasks for you to do while he works in his study—organizing his files, dusting the bookshelf, separating his pens by color—anything to keep you in his office with him.

“Jaehyun,” you yawn, stretching your arms overhead. “I’ve done everything! I’ve even organized your books by the Dewey Decimal System. I think it’s time for me to head home.” You really don’t mind Jaehyun’s company at all; in fact, you enjoy being around him. Plus, every task you handle for him counts toward the debt you owe, but it’s getting late, and the last thing you want is for him to fuss about you driving home in the dark.

He glances around the room, searching for another task to assign you, but all he finds is a sigh of resignation. “Are you sure you don’t want to just stay over?” he asks, looking genuinely concerned. “There are plenty of rooms for you. It’s getting late, and you seem really tired. I don’t want you to fall asleep at the wheel.” He closes his laptop, giving you his full attention.

You think it over. Spending a night in his mansion feels like the opportunity of a lifetime. Staying here is akin to a luxury hotel experience. You weigh the pros and cons in your mind, but then a concern arises. “I don’t have any extra clothes,” you say.

“You can wear mine,” Jaehyun offers, and your face heats up at the prospect of slipping into one of his shirts—an oversized garment that would probably swallow you whole.

“I guess that would save me the commute of having to drive back over here in the morning.”

You can’t help but smile back, finding his stubbornness endearing. It’s moments like these that make you realize he might be holding onto you not out of obligation but rather because he enjoys your company. After all, he’s been doing everything in his power to keep you around, perhaps because he is alone most of the time. You’d probably become the closest person to him after Doyoung.

"Well, if that's all, I'm going to go get in the shower,” you say.

“Ill meet you upstairs, I just want to finish this up,” he says

You head upstairs, navigating your way to Jaehyun's room with an ease that comes from having spent so much time in his space. You step into the bathroom connected to his room and turn on the shower, relishing the luxurious feel of the gold dual heads—it’s almost like being in a spa.

As the warm water envelops you, the stresses of the day wash away. The towels are fresh and warm as you step out, feeling utterly pampered. You can't help but marvel at the abundance of skincare products lined up on the counter, likely a key contributor to Jaehyun's flawless complexion. After cleansing your face and brushing your teeth with an unopened toothbrush you found in his bathroom pantry.

Peeking your head out of the bathroom door, you confirm that the coast is clear. With nothing but your towel wrapped around you, you make your way toward his closet. As you rummage through his clothes, memories flood back to the first time you were here—a completely different feeling, one of nerves and uncertainty. Little did you know that you’d be invited back as a guest, spending the night in his company.

Finally, you find a large shirt that looks incredibly comfortable and toss it over your head. Pairing it with some pajama pants that are a bit loose around your hips, you tie them with the strings, feeling cozy and at ease.

With a determined smile, you head back downstairs, wanting to say goodnight to Jaehyun. As you enter his study, though, you find him fast asleep, his head resting on a pile of documents. His hair is pushed back by a pair of glasses you haven't seen before, and you can't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes. You never realized how taxing it must be for him to carry the weight of the company on his shoulders.

Gently, you shake him awake. “Jaehyun, come on, let’s go to sleep,” you whisper softly.

His eyes open slowly, taking a moment to adjust as he rubs them and slides his glasses back on. Confusion flits across his face before recognition sets in, and he begins to put his things away, a little disorientedly, but it makes you chuckle lightly.

You watch him for a moment, your heart swelling with fondness. You wish you could do something to help him relax—an idea pops into your mind. “I’ll meet you upstairs, okay?” you say before darting back up the stairs.

You run a warm bath; you make sure to adjust the water to just the right temperature. Bubbles foam up and you lay out his clothes neatly on the counter—a clean, comfy t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, paired with some fresh socks. The soft tune playing from a speaker fills the air, adding to the calming ambiance.

You hear the heavy footsteps of Jaehyun making their way up the stairs, and you work quickly, eager to ensure everything is perfect for him. When the door finally opens, he lumbers into the room, flopping onto the bed still clad in his work clothes.

“Come on, I ran you a bath,” you coax, gently taking off his glasses and tugging him up from the bed. His eyes are still closed, but he doesn’t resist, letting you guide him toward the bathroom.

“Your clothes are right here,” you say, pointing out the set you prepared for him. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

As you start to step away, eager to give him some privacy, he unexpectedly grabs your wrist. His grip is gentle yet firm, and he turns you back to face him. The air is thick with tension as he pushes you up against the sink.

“Help me undress,” he says sleepily, his disheveled hair falling into his eyes—a sight that makes your heart race. You’re practically chest to chest, and the proximity sends a rush of warmth to your cheeks.

Your face heats up and you find yourself a stuttering mess. Jaehyun seems to realize what his words imply “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying,” he fumbles, suddenly a little more awake. “Excuse me, I’m just really tired.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you reassure him quickly, your cheeks ablaze. “I want to help you relax. I can do that.”

He looks down at you, and you briefly meet his gaze before you shyly avert your eyes. As your hands shake, you manage to unbutton his shirt one by one, the fabric parting to reveal flawless skin beneath. He stands there, shirt completely undone, his gaze holding a mixture of curiosity and something deeper. You can feel the heat radiating from his body, and you find yourself captivated by his happy trail, your knees feeling weak beneath you. Jaehyun’s hands gracefully move to his belt, taking charge of the moment. You watch, entranced, as he slowly removes it, each movement deliberate and inviting. Your heart races in your chest, a frantic drumbeat that drowns out the soft music still playing in the background. You could practically feel the air thickening between you—a magnetic pull that makes you want to fall to your knees for him—to surrender.

His belt clatters to the floor, the sound echoing in the quiet bathroom, but then a hand catches under your chin, lifting your gaze to meet his. You’re drawn into the depths of his eyes, so close that you can feel the warmth radiating off him. “I’ve got it from here, thank you,” he says, his voice low and confident.

Reality crashes over you like a wave, pulling you back with a jolt. You process the situation: Jaehyun standing before you, his pants hanging loosely around his waist, his shirt sliding from his shoulders. Heat floods your cheeks.

In a rush, you scramble out of the bathroom, the words tumbling from your lips in a hurried mess. “R—right, I’ll be in the room across the hall. Good night, Jaehyun!” You don’t dare look back, your heart racing as you leave the bathroom, and you swear you hear a deep chuckle escape him, warm and teasing.

You slip into the bedroom across the hall, the plush bed feeling foreign and oddly comforting at the same time. You let out a heavy sigh, shaking off the feelings that swirled between you two.

The silence of the house wraps around you. It’s an odd comfort, yet it amplifies the sense of isolation that looms over you. You stare at the clock on the nightstand, ticking slowly towards the early hours of the morning. You toss and turn under the covers, unable to settle. Thoughts of Jaehyun haunt you—thoughts of the way he looked, the way he made you feel—the anticipation, the nervousness. You cover your face with the pillow in an attempt to silence your racing thoughts.

Suddenly, a soft but loud crash reverberates through the house, breaking the stillness. You sit upright, heart pounding in your chest. A sense of dread settles in as you carve your way through the shadows, crossing the hall to Jaehyun’s room.

“Jaehyun?” You call softly, knocking gently on the door, but it creaks open at your touch, revealing a scene that makes your breath hitch. Jaehyun is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking disheveled; his face pales from what you can only assume was a nightmare. There’s sweat glistening on his forehead, and you can see the stark tension in his shoulders.

“Hey, what happened?” You take a step in, closing the door behind you.

He runs a shaky hand through his hair. “I just—I had a nightmare. It’s nothing.” He waves you off, but you can see the unsteadiness in his demeanor.

“No, it’s not nothing,” you assert, walking closer. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. You can talk to me.”

His eyes meet yours—a fleeting vulnerability. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” you say softly.

“I dreamed about… losing my family. It’s a nightmare I’ve had more times than I can count.” He lifts his gaze to meet yours, and you can see the pain that runs deep.

You quietly urge him on, your heart thrumming within your chest. “What happened?”

He swallows hard before continuing. “I used to live here, in this house, with my family. It was our summar home. Life was chaotic but… it was fun. My parents were always busy with the company, but they made time for us. Then…it just all fell apart.”

You can hear the tremor in his voice, the unsteady strength behind each word. “There was an accident,” he finally admits, his brow furrowing as if the very thought is a wound that never heals. “A car crash that took them away from me in an instant. I inherited everything. This houses the company and the money. Sometimes I feel like an imposter, like I’m not good enough for all of this. It helps that there are fewer memories here. Its emptier.”

Your heart aches for him, the stark reality of his loss weighing heavily in the air. “I’m so sorry, Jaehyun,” you whisper, feeling a surge of compassion for the boy he once was. You couldn't imagine how alone he felt. The weight of an entire company thrust upon him at such a young age. You understand why he found it hard to let people in.

“It’s been years,” he continues, “but every now and then, I wake up in a cold sweat, feeling their absence like it was yesterday. Sometimes Its so bad I won't sleep at all.”

You step closer and sit beside him on the bed, your heart aching to comfort him. “You don’t have to carry this by yourself. It’s okay to talk about it. It’s okay to feel. You deserve to express that pain instead of bottling it up.”

You take a deep breath, the weight of your own past pressing against your chest. It feels only right to share your truth with Jaehyun now that he’s opened up about his own pain. “I get it, you know—feeling like you’re not enough. I felt that way growing up too,” you begin, your voice steady yet soft as you look into his eyes. “I didn’t have the stability of a family like yours. My parents were often absent, lost in their own world, and I was left to navigate everything on my own. I longed for connection.”

You pause, letting your words sink in. A part of you feels apprehensive, but telling your story also feels liberating. “I did meet some friends along the way. They were a bit snobby, but I loved them. They were everything I wanted to be—popular, carefree, surrounded by laughter. I wanted to fit in so badly that I was willing to do just about anything to be part of their world.”

Jaehyun nods, his gaze understanding as he absorbs your story. You take another breath, your heart racing slightly as you reveal more of your past. “I started to steal. Not just to survive, because there were times when I truly needed food, but mostly to impress them. To show them I could be just as cool, just as daring. Those friends were all I had, and I felt like I was grasping at straws. I never wanted to feel alone again.”

As you speak, you can see the pain in Jaehyun's eyes—he understands the need to connect, the lengths people go to feel accepted. “Most of the time, I felt like a fraud. Like I was pretending to be something I’m not. Their world wasn’t mine, but it was better than being alone. I guess in some way, I thought being with them would fill the emptiness, but it never did.”

“I know what it feels like to wear a mask,” he says, his tone gentle yet earnest. “It’s exhausting isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you reply, a small but relieved smile creeping onto your face. “But sharing it feels freeing. I think that’s why I wanted to tell you. Seeing you so vulnerable made me realize that maybe it’s okay to let myself be seen, too.”

Jaehyun reaches out, tentatively placing his hand over yours. It’s a small gesture, but it ignites warmth where your hands connect, sending a comforting pulse between you.

But just as the moment deepens, a loud crack of thunder rumbles outside, reverberating through the walls, making the lights flicker. A flash of lightning illuminates Jaehyun’s startled expression, momentarily freezing both of you in place until you’re instinctively drawn closer. A storm rages outside.

“Let’s… let’s just stay like this, okay?” You murmur, catching his gaze before looking down at your joined hands. “Just for tonight.”

He nods slowly, the tension shifting into something more profound. You slide under the covers beside him, and even though there’s a noticeable space between you, his warmth envelops you. The moment sinks into something intimate, something that goes beyond the mere physical closeness or the warmth of shared body heat.

— Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you hesitate before answering an unknown number. But curiosity compels you to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Where have you been?” The voice on the other end drips with annoyance. Taeyong. Just hearing him makes your stomach churn. It's a voice you've been avoiding, one you hoped you'd never have to hear again. It reminds you too much of the past your trying to forget.

You bite your lip, your gaze flickering nervously around the bustling cafeteria. It’s lunchtime, and the air buzzes with chatter as people gather at tables. Jaehyun is tied up in a meeting, leaving you surrounded by a few friends who have become a surprising source of comfort. You've been at the company long enough now that the initial gossip has faded, allowing you to forge genuine connections beyond just your complicated relationship with Jaehyun.

You cover your phone as you pull it down from your ear and mouth a quick sorry to your friends as you make your way somewhere else secluded.

“Sorry, you caught me at a bad time,” you murmur, moving away to a quieter corner.

“A bad time? You've been ghosting us for weeks! We have a big job lined up and need you back,” he says, impatience slicing through his tone.

“I told you, I’m not doing that anymore. I’m in a good place. I can’t mess this up,” you reply, your frustration simmering just beneath the surface.

He scoffs, a sound that irritates you more than it should. “You think you can just bail on us? When we had your back when no one else did?”

His words resonate, stirring unwanted memories. They taught you everything you know about survival.

“Without us, you’d be scraping by,” he adds with a cocky lilt that grates your nerves.

“What do you need me for?” You huff.

“A quick job. In and out. Johnny’s got his eyes on this jewelry store. Thinks it’ll impress some girl he’s crushing on,” he explains, the casual tone in his voice only making you more uneasy.

“A jewelry store? Are you serious? You know that’s risky,” you almost yell before you remember where you are.

“Yeah, well, the guy’s moving across the globe. Apparently, his heart is in Vegas or something. Listen, you owe us. Let’s call this your last job before Johnny bails.” He says.

You pause, weighing your options. You knew how persistent these guys could get and you didn’t need them digging too deep into what you’ve been up to. If they found out about Jaehyun, your not sure what they would scheme.

“If I do this, you lose my number. Don’t ever contact me again. I appreciate everything you guys did for me, but I’m trying to move on.” Your voice is firm.

“Great to have you back, princess. I’ll send over the details,” he says before hanging up.

Your hands were shaking and you could feel your throat close up as tears began to well in your eyes. You wanted to cry. You lean against a wall, trying to calm your breathing.

You could always ask Jaehyun for the money; whatever Johnny was looking to score from the jewelry store, Jaehyun could match it; the only issue is you already owe him enough and Taeyong would definitely ask you where you got such a large sum of money.

You could not get Jaehyun involved. You didn't want him mixed up in any of this. This was your problem, your past, that you had to fix.

You tilt your head back, trying to will the tears away. If Jaehyun found out—Jaehyun couldn't find out.

You try to act normal when you head back up to Jaehyun's office. You bury yourself in paperwork and emails as an excuse for how unnaturally quiet you were today. You couldn't avoid him all day, though.

“How was lunch” he asks after returning from his meeting.

You don't turn to acknowledge him; instead, you give him a “it was good” before returning to your work. He doesn't comment on how quiet you have been but you definitely see it in his eyes that he wants to. He walks to his desk without another word. He knows when to give you space and probably figured now was one of those times.

—

You were making mistakes again. The chaos of the office felt louder than ever as you stumbled through the busy halls, your arms full of files that seemed to have a mind of their own. Papers slipped from your grasp, fluttering to the ground like fallen leaves as you scrambled to collect them, heart racing as you barely managed to avoid having someone step on the important documents.

The printer was your sworn enemy today; it jammed at the worst possible moment, leaving you flustered and anxiously trying to free the stuck sheets while praying no one noticed your struggle. You were constantly tripping over your own feet, rushing back and forth, trying to juggle tasks that felt increasingly overwhelming.

Jaehyun's eyes lingered on you longer than usual, suspicion bubbling just beneath the surface. He could let a few things slide, but it was clear he was picking up on the fact that something wasn’t right.

Finally, you excused yourself, heart pounding as you left for the bathroom. Clutching your phone tightly, it buzzed with a message that made your stomach drop. You glanced down and read:

[Meet us at xxx on Sunday at 3 AM].

This was it—tonight would be the night.

You quickly composed a response, your fingers trembling slightly as you typed. As you headed back to the office, you tried to shake off the brewing anxiety. With every step, you reminded yourself that soon, after tonight, you wouldn’t have to hide anything else from Jaehyun. After tonight, everything could go back to normal.

You had packed a small duffel bag. Its contents reminded you of the significance of the night ahead. Dressed in all black, you made your way to Taeyong's place, the night air cool against your skin. As you arrived, the tension in your stomach twisted tighter when you saw Taeyong, Johnny, and Yuta waiting for you.

“Hey.” you greeted, trying to sound more confident than you felt. You joined them, your heartbeat thumping in your ears as you went over the plan, going through every detail. The stakes were high; robbing businesses was far more complex than the petty house break-ins of the past. There was far more security to navigate this time, and your palms began to sweat at the thought of what would happen if you got caught.

“Stop overthinking it,” Johnny said, flashing you a reassuring smile as he finished loading the last item into the car. “It’s gonna be just like old times.”

You rolled your eyes. “This is the last time,” you declared, shooting a look at the back of Taeyong's head as he settled into the driver’s seat but you couldn’t stop the thrill that snuck into your heart. There was a small part of you that loved this thrill, loved the challenge that the night would bring

Johnny slid into the passenger seat, and Yuta hopped in beside you in the back. “I understand if you don’t want to steal, but we’re still family,” Yuta said, his voice calm and steady. “Don’t forget that, no matter what happens.

Your heart clenches painfully in your chest, a storm of emotions battling within you. You knew you were being cold towards them, shutting off parts of yourself that had always been open to them. They were your everything before Jaehyun came into your life, your partners in crime and laughter, and now you felt sickness coil in your stomach at the thought of discarding them for something that might not even last.

You bit back tears, feeling the sharp sting of regret and longing. One part of you mourned the life you were desperately trying to hold onto—the stability, the calm, everything that came with Jaehyun. The other half grieved for the carefree moments you’d shared with Taeyong, Johnny, and Yuta and for the friendships that felt more like family than anything else.

“I’m going to miss you guys,” you finally managed to say, your voice wavering as you fought to steady it. “Let this be it for all of us.” Your words hung in the air.

“Y/N…” Yuta began, an understanding between all of you that couldn’t be voiced.

“Please,” you interrupted softly, desperation coloring your tone as you looked from one familiar face to the other. “I don’t want anything happening to you guys.”

Silence settled in the car. No one answered you; there were no reassurances to offer, no words that could change the precarious situation you were all in. They couldn’t up and leave this life and you knew it.

As Taeyong turned the key in the ignition, the engine rumbled to life, breaking the stillness. You glanced out the window, taking in the familiar streets you had navigated countless times, the memories flooding back.

—

The blaring alarms pierced the night like a siren's wail as you moved to grab one more bag full of jewelry. Every clang of metal against metal made your stomach churn. Your hands were shaking, and as you tossed another bag over to Yuta, you felt a sense of disgust washing over you. How had it come to this? You stuffed your feelings deep down and concentrated on the task at hand—the only thing you could control. Yuta caught the bag and hurried it to the car, urgency fueling every movement.

Then came the wailing of sirens that sent a jolt of panic through your body. The familiar blue and red lights flickered on the walls of the alley as they crept closer, and your heart raced faster.

“Out now! GO!” Taeyong shouted, urgency slicing through the chaos. You hurled yourself into the car just as the engine roared to life, Taeyong hitting the gas pedal with a force that slammed you back against the seat. Your head twisted around, searching for any sign of the approaching police cars. Relief washed over you when you didn’t see their flashing lights right behind you—yet.

Then, terror gripped you as a police car roared around the corner, lights ablaze, barreling towards you.

“We’re not going to make it!” You cried out, panic rising in your chest like bile.

“Shut up! Let me think!” Taeyong snapped back, his voice sharp and focused.

With skill, he made a sharp left turn and then another, weaving through the streets as your heart thundered in your ears. The fear began to lift, the thrill of escape practically intoxicating, until the dreaded sight of the police car revealed itself again, like a predator stalking prey.

He maneuvered the car swiftly into a dark alleyway, the bright streetlights fading behind you, swallowed by the inky shadows of the narrow passage.

“Get out!” Taeyong shouted suddenly, and you whipped your head around to look at him, wide-eyed, disbelief painted across your face.

“Are you crazy?” you exclaimed, your pulse racing even faster. The alleyway loomed dark and empty beyond the car.

“What are you—” Yuta started to say, confusion evident in his voice.

“I’ll lead them away; just go!” Taeyong insisted, urgency etched deep into his words. “We don’t have time!”

You knew if he was caught, he would never snitch—Taeyong was loyal, he would take the fall for you without a second thought. But the prospect of him behind bars was more upsetting than you'd ever anticipated.

“That wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go,” you murmured, helpless, as Johnny dragged you along through the darkness. You struggled to comprehend what was happening through the haze of tears obscuring your vision. Out of instinct, you pulled off your mask and dark jacket, tossing them into a nearby trash bin.

With your heads down, you walked in silence, the distant sirens haunting the air. It wasn’t long until Kun, Yuta’s friend, pulled up to a nearby park to pick you all up.

You didn't go home that night. Instead, you ended up at Chenle's place. He didn’t ask any questions when he saw your tear-stained cheeks; he simply pulled you inside and set about making some tea to soothe your frayed nerves. Chenle was always the one who understood you the most.

Tonight, the weight of secrets felt heavier than ever. You couldn’t keep it all inside any longer. As you sank onto his couch, the dam broke, and you began to tell Chenle everything—from the very beginning to the events of the night. Sobs wracked your body as you relayed the tale, the guilt and shame spilling out with each word.

You were a liar, a thief, a fake.

Chenle sat in silence for a moment, absorbing your confession. He let out a heavy sigh and rose from his seat, your teary eyes tracking him as he rummaged through his cupboard.

“We’re gonna need something stronger than tea tonight,” he said, pouring you a shot.

—

When you wake up the next day, a piercing headache pounds through your skull. You had fallen asleep on Chenle’s couch. Blinking against the sunlight filtering in, you glance around the large living space and spot Chenle sprawled on the other end of the couch, still blissfully asleep.

Rummaging around the couch cushions, your fingers finally brush against your phone. You remember that you powered it down last night, a decision made during the chaos of emotions. You turn it back on, the screen lighting up and revealing a barrage of messages.

YUTA [taeyong got away last night] [Just keep your head down and we should be fine]

JOHNNY [TY PULLED THROUGH LET'S GO!]

You can’t help but roll your eyes at that. “Selfish bastard.” you think, feeling a stir of resentment alongside the relief.

JAEHYUN [are you coming into work today?] [are you hurt?] [if your sick i can bring you something] [call me when you can]

You wince at the notification count—Jaehyun had called you at least five times this morning

Just then, Daegal, Chenle’s dog, leaps onto the couch, nudging your leg. Chenle stirs awake, cracking an eye open, squinting against the bright light that seeps into the living room.

“Taeyong was able to get away somehow,” you inform him quietly.

“Don’t know whether I should be happy or upset about that,” he replies, his voice still thick with sleep.

“I’m sorry about lying, and I’m sorry for bothering you, but this was the only place I knew to come.” You let out a heavy sigh, tossing your phone down on the coffee table.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m not upset that you lied,” Chenle says, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I understand what you were going through, and if that’s how you made ends meet, I won’t judge you for it.” He stretches and yawns, then narrows his eyes playfully at you. “What I am mad about is the fact that you’ve been seeing a hot CEO and didn’t tell me about it!”

A weight lifts off your shoulders at his playful reprimand. At least you wouldn’t lose your best friend. You crawl toward him on the couch and envelop him in a warm hug. “I love you,” you smother him with affection.

You sit across the table from Chenle, a steaming plate of breakfast in front of you. As you tell him everything about your relationship with Jaehyun—the sweet moments, the little things that made you blush—it feels like a breath of fresh air. It takes you back to those late-night gossip sessions in high school, a sense of comfort washing over you. For that brief moment, you felt like yourself again, like the world around you wasn't being held together by a single string.

But soon reality creeps back in. You check the time and realize you can’t put off Jaehyun's calls any longer.

[im ok]

[where have you been?]

[Can we meet?]

[i can meet you at home]

Your heart clenches at the word ‘home.’ You aren’t sure when you two became this close, but the thought of lying to Jaehyun anymore feels unbearable.

As you approach the house, a heavy silence envelops you. It’s eerily quiet; the only sound is the faint shuffle of papers filtering in from Jaehyun’s study. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for the confrontation ahead.

You clear your throat, your voice slightly shaky. “Hey,” you announce, trying to keep your tone steady.

Jaehyun looks up, his expression distant and unreadable. “Where have you been?” he asks, setting aside the documents that had consumed his attention. Frustration flickers across his face as he stands and closes the distance between you. He crosses his arms over his broad chest, the muscles evident even beneath the wrinkled fabric of his work clothes, a testament to the long day he’s had.

He leans back slightly against his desk, exuding a mix of authority and weariness. His glasses sit low on the bridge of his nose, casting a shadow over his eyes and intensifying his gaze as he studies you, waiting for an answer that feels heavy in the air

“I was at a friend’s,” you reply, your words catching slightly in your throat.

“Why weren’t you answering my calls? What’s been going on with you lately?” His voice is firm, perhaps too firm, sounding too much like your boss, and you can feel your irritation simmer.

“It won’t happen again. I’ve just been taking care of some business,” you mumble, but it feels inadequate.

“You need to let me know if you’re not going to show up!” he says, and you can see the frustration etching lines across his forehead. But beneath that, there’s something else—something more worried.

“Is this all I am to you? Just another one of your employees you have to keep track of,” you challenge, the heat of your annoyance flaring. “I’m sorry I didn’t show up to work, Mr. Jung!” You spit his name like it’s a bitter taste in your mouth.

“Don't do that. I was worried about you!” He snaps back, his eyes blazing with a mix of anger and concern.

“I just needed some time!” You fire back, defending yourself but feeling the weight of his gaze.

“Time for what? I’ve been giving you time! Time to text, time to leave, time to make calls to whoever it is you’ve been talking to,” he replies, the edge in his voice sharpening with jealousy.

“Why do you even care who I talk to?”

His lips are on yours in an instant and he kisses you for the first time. You can feel his anger, frustration, and annoyance at you through the way he kisses you. It was as though the heavens had opened and a lightning strike had struck you, igniting every nerve ending in your body. The kiss was electrifying, sending waves of warmth cascading down your spine, and you felt as if your lips were two magnets with an irresistible force drawing them together. The kiss is harsh, and your teeth clink together as you kiss him back with just as much heat. Everything that had been boiling within you—the frustration, fear, and anxiety—pours out as you let it all go. Your fingers pull at his hair, and you bite at his lips. His hands grip your hips roughly, like he's barely holding himself back from breaking you. He pulls you against him, and you can feel him hard through his slacks.

The tension in the room was high, and when it snapped, it was like the barriers that you both worked hard to keep up around each other had fallen.

He switches positions with you, pushing you up against his desk as he kisses down your neck. You have half the mind to be mindful of the things that litter his desk, trying not to knock anything over as his hands explore your body. He senses your hesitation and clears his desk with a swipe of his arm, not breaking the kiss in his haste. You moan into his mouth as he lays you down flat against his desk.

“Who have you been texting?” he asks, his chest heaving. You knew it must have been eating him up over the past few days.

“It was no one. I’ll explain later, just don’t stop,” you whine and pull him back to your lips.

Your fingers start working at the pesky buttons of his shirt. You try to work them one by one, but only get half way before you give up. You slide the fabric half way down his shoulders.

You run your hands down his back, savoring the feel of his skin beneath your palms. His hands move to your shirt, pulling it over your head with ease. His lips trail kisses down your collarbone, causing you to arch your back involuntarily. He pulls your bra open, the fabric falling away to reveal your breasts. His mouth descends on one nipple, his tongue flicking against the sensitive nub as his hand cups the other breast, squeezing gently. His tongue circles your nipple, teasing and tormenting until you’re practically begging for release. His hand slides lower, slipping beneath the waistband of your sweats. His thick fingers pinch and tug at your clit, rubbing it in tight circles that elicit moans from your lips. You’re soaking wet, and it’s not hard for him to slip his fingers inside your tight pussy.

Your eyes meet his, and his pupils are dilated, like he’s lost in pleasing you. His fingers pump into you at a steady pace, and your thighs spread wide for him, giving him complete access to you. His hand presses against your abdomen as he curls his fingers inside you. He wants you to feel it.

“Say you’re mine,” he commands. “Say it.”

“I’m yours,” your voice trembles, and you can feel your stomach clench with how close you are. Your back arches as you squirm under his ministrations. He leans down and attaches his mouth to your clit as he fingers you, and that’s all you need before you’re cumming all over his fingers. He continues to suck and lick at you until you’re pushing at his head to stop.

Once you have caught your breath, you pull your clothes back on as a heavy silence engulfs the room. You know you need to tell him the truth. You need to tell him what happened.

“I robbed a jewelry store.” You say as he helps you down from his desk.

He freezes, eyes widening in disbelief. “You did what?”

“There’s nothing to worry about! It’s over, okay? I just didn’t want to lie to you anymore,” you say defensively.

“Are you serious? What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t want to drag you into this! It was my past that got me here. I can’t rely on you to fix everything for me,” you explain.

“But you were the one who taught me not to bear it all alone!” he counters, hurt flashing in his eyes.

“Not this Jae, I couldn't drag you into this. I care about you way too much”

“And you think I don’t care about you? You throw yourself into trouble like it’s nothing, and you want me to just forget it? Tell me what really happened.” His gaze is piercing, demanding honesty.

You tell him everything.

You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment. “I didn’t want our lives to cross paths like this. I thought I could leave that stuff behind but they kept reaching out. It was just one last job, and I thought I could handle it.”

“You should have told me. I could have helped,” he says, brow crinkling in frustration.

“I was scared,” you admit, stepping closer to him. “Scared that getting you involved would get you hurt.”

Jaehyun sighs deeply, processing what you’ve just shared. “No more secrets, okay? You need to promise me that.”

—

The way your life had fallen into rhythm with Jaehyuns was scary; you couldn’t help but worry about what would happen when this arrangement finally came to an end. You found yourself practically living in his home, spending almost every day together. You cherished the moments you shared working side by side. Each laugh, each quiet evening, felt like a treasure you never wanted to lose. Still, you understood that, like everything else, even the best things must eventually come to an end. You just hoped that day would remain far off.

Unfortunately, today was that day. After the countless hours you’d spent with Jaehyun, both on and off the clock, you had officially repaid your debt. Of course, your coworkers gathered around the dinner table at the prestigious restaurant had no idea. They believed you were simply celebrating your one-year anniversary. You forced a smile; would they still see it as a celebration if they knew the full story behind your relationship with Jaehyun?

The atmosphere in the restaurant was a blur of laughter, clinking glasses, and the delicious aroma of carefully prepared dishes. As the celebrations for your one-year anniversary at the company unfolded around you, a wave of anxiety gnawed at your insides. You had worked hard for this moment, but all you could think about was what came next. You glanced down the table, where Jaehyun sat, a warm smile plastered on his face as he engaged in conversation with your coworkers, but he hadn’t looked your way once.

It was a stark contrast to the intimacy that you two shared. He didn’t bring up that night. He didn't bring up how he made you promise that you were his. For awhile, you thought you had just imagined it all but you could feel the shift in your dynamic. His touches lingering a little longer and the way his eyes wandered to you when he thought you weren't looking.

You find yourself looking back on your relationship with Jaehyun. Surprisingly, Jaehyun wasn’t the cold, distant person you first encountered; now, he trailed after you like a loyal puppy, and there was something sweetly comforting in the role reversal. You remembered how he had seemed so vast and imposing on your first day at the company, while you had followed him around like a lost puppy trying to match his stride. Now, as you walked through the hallways with your head held high, Jaehyun was the one keeping pace behind you, as if he feared losing you.

But as you looked at him now, across the expanse of the table, he felt miles away. The realization that the debt you owed him was fully paid loomed over you, casting a shadow that threatened to eclipse the joy of the evening. What would happen after tonight? How would your relationship change? You couldn’t shake the nagging fear that everything you had built together might soon unravel.

The cake arrived, beautifully adorned and lit with candles, drawing enthusiastic cheers from your coworkers. Jaehyun raised a glass to toast the moment, and when he glanced around, his eyes skated over you without recognition. You blinked, a pang of hurt lacing through you as the reality of it all settled in.

After the dinner wound down and laughter faded into the background, Jaehyun drove you back home—well, to his house. The silence hung between you like a tightrope, and it was nearly suffocating. Once inside the house, the familiar warmth enveloped you.

Finally, unable to contain your feelings, you broke the silence. “Jaehyun,” you started, your voice trembling slightly. “Why have you been so quiet tonight?”

He paused, fingers brushing through his hair as he leaned against the kitchen counter. The flickering light above cast shadows across his face, making it difficult to read his expression. “I—” he hesitated, eyes dropping to the floor, “I know your probably getting ready to leave since the debt is paid and I guess I was just preparing myself for that”

Your heart raced. “Is that why you haven’t brought up that night in your office?”

"I just didn’t want to grow more attached than I already am. I thought if I could pretend that night never happened, it would hurt less when you left.” He takes a deep breath as he searches your face for the right words to say. “I want you to stay with me. I know you’ve paid me back for everything… but I need you to understand that I want you in my life for reasons that go far beyond debt.” He took a breath, as if gathering the courage to continue. “I care about you. More than you know.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Jaehyun. I'm not going anywhere you don’t want me to,” you say, stepping closer to him and cupping his face.

Jaehyun reached up, touching the hand that was caressing his face. “Then let’s stop pretending that all this is just transactional. I want something real.” The sincerity in his gaze melted your worries away, replacing them with something brighter, something full of possibility.

When he leans down to kiss you, your fingers caress his cheeks, memorizing the contours as you breathe in the essence of him. His hands roamed over your hips, exploring with an urgency that both thrilled and comforted you. The way they eventually tangled into your hair was possessive, a silent promise that he wasn't going to let you go.

Your bodies pressed together tightly and with every passing second, the kiss grew hotter, needier, and wetter as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You panted softly, surrendering to him, allowing him to take over completely, losing yourself in him.

As the fervor of the moment intensified, you felt his hands traveling back down to your hips. Before you could process what was happening, you found yourself being lifted off your feet. Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his waist, anchoring yourself as he backed you up against a nearby wall. The cool surface contrasted sharply with the heat radiating between your bodies.

The makeout session became heavier and more desperate as passion consumed you both. Each kiss felt like a promise, filled with hunger and longing, as if you were trying to convey everything that words could never fully express. Finally, as your lungs burn for air, you part, a thin string of saliva connecting you.

The way he looked at you suggested a man starved—and that only fueled your desire to explore him further. As his hips rocked against yours, a low moan escaped your lips, the friction backing your toes curl. You welcomed his touch and his kisses but you wanted more. You wanted to take your time, savoring each curve and contour of each other’s bodies.

His face nestled in the crook of your neck, his warm breath sending shivers racing down your spine. A dampness was forming in your panties, an exhilarating rush that clouded your thoughts. Gathering the courage, you gently tapped him on the shoulder, hoping to break the spell that enveloped you both.

He lifted his head, planting soft kisses along your neck, climbing up to press a tender peck against your lips. He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes holding a raw sincerity that made you forget the world around you. “Should we stop?” he murmured, his voice low and earnest.

“It’s not that,” you replied, your breath coming in soft gasps as you regained your composure. “I just want to move to the bedroom.”

You expected him to set you down for a moment, but instead a gasp slipped from your lips as he tightened his grip. He effortlessly began to ascend the opulent winding staircase. The walls were adorned with portraits, their painted eyes following your every movement, as if they were witnesses to this unfolding moment. Rich mahogany railings glimmered under the soft light of the chandelier.

You felt like a princess from a fairytale, swept away on a wave of romance and fantasy as he carried you up the staircase. Yet, amidst the enchantment, a small knot of doubt tightened in your chest—a complicated mix of guilt and disbelief. You don’t deserve this, you thought, battling the insistent voice in your head. This isn’t your life.

This dreamlike encounter with Jaehyun, who seemed to embody the very essence of Prince Charming, felt almost too good to be true—like a scene plucked straight from a storybook. The way he held you, the intensity of his gaze, and the atmosphere were intoxicating. But hessitation tugged at you, casting shadows over the light of your fairy tale.

As he gently set you down on the edge of his bed, Jaehyun kneeled before you. He looked up, his deep eyes searching yours as if trying to read the secrets hidden within.

“What’s wrong, pretty?” he asked, his voice a low, soothing murmur that seemed to wrap around you like a protective embrace. His hands enveloped yours, thumb stroking over your skin in a languid, comforting rhythm.

You forced a smile, desperate to maintain the illusion of this fairytale moment, but you knew better than to lie to him. Jaehyun had a way of seeing through your facades, as if he had developed some sixth sense when it came to understanding you. The light in his eyes flickered, a mix of concern and curiosity, as he waited for you to speak.

This was all so surreal—when the world outside seemed so turbulent, here he was, the embodiment of calm and acceptance. But as much as you tried to bask in this moment, the shadows of your past crept in, reminding you of who you once were.

“About that night…” you started, your voice barely above a whisper, throat tightening. Sudden shame washed over you like a cold wave. “I can’t help but feel like I don’t deserve all of this.

Jaehyun’s gaze softened, and he leaned in closer, brows furrowing slightly in concern. “Everyone has a past. What matters is who you choose to be now.” he said gently, as if unfurling your tightly wound shame with each word.

“But I’m a thief, Jaehyun… I tried to steal from you. I lied and even robbed a bank” The admission hung in the air.

“I don’t see a thief when I look at you; I see someone who has struggled but is capable of so much more. Someone I care about.” His thumb brushes over your knuckles.

You looked down at him, finally meeting his gaze, and in that moment, you saw a man who would stop time for you if he could, who would pause the world just to shield you from its harshness.

He was your man.

Without a second thought, you leaned in and pulled him into another kiss, the warmth between you igniting once more, filling the room with an undeniable heat. He broke away for just a moment, a playful glint in his eyes, before he gripped your hips and effortlessly lifted you. In one swift motion, he tossed you onto the middle of the soft, inviting bed.

You bounced with a delighted laugh, the sound echoing through the air as you playfully crawled back toward the headboard, an exhilarated sparkle dancing in your eyes.

Jaehyun crawls to you and you tug off your blouse before he reaches you. It was like he couldn't keep his mouth off of you. He kisses the bare skin of your chest and stomach as his hands toy with the button on the dress pants you wore at dinner. He tugs them down your legs until your only left in your bra and panties. When he's done, you push at his shoulder until your able to sit up, stradling him.

You begin undressing him like the time in the bathroom but this time he lets you strip him down until hes in his boxers. You could see him straining against the fabric of his boxers and you whimper. You had to have him in your mouth. He tries to lay you back down, insistant on taking care of you but you shake your head; thats not what you needed right now. You connect your lips and grip him through his boxers. He lets out a slight gasp, and you can feel him twitch in your grasp. His eyes are closed, but you can see the tension in his jaw and the way his hands grip the sheets beneath him. You’ve been thinking about this for a while now, about how you want to unravel him, piece by piece, until there’s nothing left.

“Can I show you what's been on my mind?” You whisper against his lips, your voice low and sultry. “Do you trust me?”

His eyes flutter open and he nods. You slide down until you settle between his legs, your fingers trailing over the fabric of his boxers and you kiss along his chest. Finally, you pull him out of his boxers. His tip is a pretty pink, begging for your attention, and there’s a vein that follows along the base of his cock, pulsing with every heartbeat. You make a mental note to pay extra attention to that. His breath picks up before you can even do anything, and when you finally tear your eyes away from his cock, you see that his cheeks are dusted pink and his ears are red. Even at a time like this, you find him endearing. You smile, but it comes off more sultry than you intend.

You gather spit in your mouth to wet your tongue, savoring the anticipation as you lean in closer. The moment your lips wrap around his tip, he lets out a sharp gasp, his body tensing. You take him into your mouth, feeling the warmth and saltiness of him as you bob your head gently. You circle his tip with your tongue before pulling off to lick him from base to tip, spreading your saliva and making him slip easier into your mouth.

You look up, meeting his gaze as you take him deeper, your throat working around him. Jaehyun’s head is thrown back, his chest heaving as he tries to keep still, but his hips betray him, thrusting slightly into your mouth. You moan around him, the vibrations sending shivers down his spine. Each time you pull off, you leave a trail of saliva connecting you, making your next descent even slicker.

“Fuck…hah,” he breathes, his voice rough and strained. “You feel so good.”

“When was the last time someone did this for you?” You ask, your voice muffled around his cock, noticing how sensitive he is.

“I can’t remember,” he groans.

“We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?” You say seductively, your eyes locked on his as you take him back into your throat, not holding back as you show him the pleasures he had probably been withholding from himself. You moan around him, pumping him vigorously as you suck on him, making a show of giving him the sloppiest head possible.

He was polite in the beginning; he didn’t push your head or tug your hair, and he didn’t buck his hips. Instead, he gripped the sheets and bit his lip, trying to control himself, trying to be a gentleman. But after he hits the back of your throat a little too roughly and you gag on him, he loses it. The way your throat convulses makes him bury his fingers into your hair, pressing you down until your nose is nuzzling against his happy trail. Tears burn your eyes as you let him drown in his pleasure, your own arousal building in response.

You know your panties are ruined at this point. Your free hand snakes down between your legs, your fingers gliding over your clit, circling the swollen button as he uses your throat. You barely notice the ache in your jaw, too consumed by the sensations coursing through your body. Suddenly, he pulls you off, his breathing ragged, his eyes wild with desperation.

“Lay down,” he commands, his voice gruff and urgent. You don’t even have time to follow his command before he manhandles you onto your back, his hands moving with a mix of urgency and precision. Desire and desperation swirl in his eyes as he practically rips your panties from you, his fingertips grazing your inner thighs as he strips them away. He’s far too impatient to unclip your bra, so he just pushes it up, exposing your breasts to the cool air.

Your back arches into his touch as he attaches his mouth to your nipples, flicking and nibbling at them with a ferocity that leaves you breathless. You moan, your nails scratching down his arms lightly, urging him on. He kisses down to your thighs, leaving a few love bites along the skin there that have your hips twitching for more. Finally, he pulls back, his eyes raking down your body like he’s seeing you for the first time.

“Hurry, I need you,” you cry, your voice breaking with urgency, your fingernails digging into his arms.

He shushes you with a kiss, his lips pressing against yours in a brief but intense moment of connection. Then he lines himself up, coating himself in your slick, making sure he’s slick enough to slide right in. Your breath hitches when he presses against your entrance, the head of his cock nudging at your folds. You were definitely feeling how big he was. Not only was he long, but he had a nice girth as well, stretching you in ways that had you clenching your teeth a little at the sensation.

“Relax,” he murmurs, his voice soothing as he begins to push in. “Let me in.”

You gently press him back, creating a space between your bodies, your eyes drawn to where your bodies connect. You can feel him deep inside you—only a third left before hes in completely and you already felt full. A soft whimper escapes your lips, vulnerability flashing in your gaze as you look up at him, searching for assurance.

“It’s okay, baby. You can take it,” he whispers, his voice low and soothing, sending shivers down your spine.

You stay still, allowing the initial sting to fade, his fingers intertwined with yours, rubbing gentle circles into your skin as a calming gesture. You focus on the warmth of his hand against yours and the tension slowly dissipates. The discomfort begins to melt away, replaced by a delicious ache. You give him a slow nod, a silent agreement, and he takes that as his cue. His hips pull back, and you can’t help but watch, mesmerized, as he slips out—he was so big but still so perfect.

“Keep your eyes on me, baby. Focus,” he urges, his voice a deep rumble that resonates in your core.

You meet his gaze and its so intense you almost shy away. “Thats right baby, im right here”

One of his hands grips the underside of your thigh before pressing it up against your chest. your back arching involuntarily at the delicious rush of pleasure that courses through you. You could feel him in your gut in this position. His eyebrows furrow in concentration as he drills into you again and again. Short, fast thrusts gradually deepen into long, languid strokes that have you pushing at his hips weakly.

“Fuck, Jae… it’s too deep,” you cry out, your thighs trembling.

He pulls out slowly, leaving you empty and momentarily disoriented. “Turn around,” he commands, a sheen of sweat glistening on his brow. You pout, suddenly regretting opening your big mouth.

Taking a deep breath, you prop yourself up on your hands and knees, glancing over your shoulder at him with a pleading gaze. “I can take it, I promise,” you reassure.

“We’ll see,” he replies, his tone low and teasing, as he leans down to lay a line of soft kisses down your spine.

You shudder at the gesture and just as the last kiss lingers on the small of your back, you feel him slip inside again. This position gives him more control but he isn't as deep as before. You roll your hips back into him, urging him to fuck you as deep as he was before.

But he slows, his thrusts coming to a halt as he watches you move, his gaze dark with pleasure as he just watches you fuck yourself on him. He hums a noise of pleasure. He lets it go on for a little while longer before he is gripping your hips and stilling your movements.

“Let me take care of you”

He pushes the space between your shoulders, urging you down into the softness of the mattress until you're face down, ass up. With one hand gripping your hips, he resumes his thrusts. Picking up a brutal pace and this time you don't fight it. Each thrust strikes with precision, sharp and calculated, as he takes you from behind. His movements are relentless.

A low growl reverberates from deep within him. In an instant, he pulls you up until your back presses against his chest, your body perched in his lap as he continues to drill into you. You tilt your head back against his shoulder, gasping as his hands roam over you. One grips your chest, kneading your breast, while the other slips between your legs to expertly rub your clit. You let out unrestrained moans, the sounds echoing in the room without a care.

Your thighs tremble and you can feel tears prick your eyes as the overwheliming sensation consumes your body. Each thrust, each caress pushes you closer to the edge, and your chest heaves as you squirm in his hold. It was too much.

“I got you. Let it go baby.” he whispers breathily in your ear. His hand that was kneading your breast moves to hook beneath your shoulder, anchoring you down as he thrusts deeper, pulling you back into him as his hips drive into yours.

It isn't long until your an incoherent mess, until finally you collapse against him as your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. You moan shamelessly, feeling your heat pulse around him and coating his cock as your release spills out, dripping down his balls. Jaehyun groans, his arms wrapping tightly around you as he holds you in place, burning himself into you over and over again until hes lightheaded.

“Just a little more, baby, please. You can take it, yeah?” Jaehyun's voice wavers slightly, the raw need evident as he edges closer to his release. The urgency in his tone drives you wild. With a few more deep thrusts, he finally reaches his peak, filling you with thick, hot strands of cum. You shudder in his grasp, a wave of pleasure washing over you as he exhales harshly, breaths mingled with soft curses. “Fuck… mmmh… fuck,” he murmurs.

Jaehyun breathes as he slowly tries to catch his breath. You both take a few moments to come down from your high. His grip loosens at last, and with a gentle touch, he pulls out, laying you delicately on the mattress. You sink into the sheets, breathing heavily as he gets up to run a bath.

A few moments later, he returns, scooping you up in his strong arms. Together, you step into the warm water, which soothes your tired muscles instantly. You sit in front of him, letting the warmth encapsulate you as he takes on the role of caretaker, washing your back caringly.

He massages your shoulders, and you let out a content sigh, a sound that embodies the perfect blend of exhaustion and bliss. The water laps around you, and you feel a sense of tranquility settle in, wrapping around you just as warmly as his hands.

After you both wash up, you're enveloped in a comfortable silence. You were too tired to talk anyway. You lean back against him, feeling his fingers play in your hair. Eventually, when you finally muster the energy to pull yourselves from the bath, he wraps you both in warm towels. You don’t even bother with clothes, opting instead to pad back toward the bedroom

The bed was a chaotic mess, sheets crumpled and soiled from the nights activities. You yawn, too exhausted to even think about changing the linens, and way too impatient to wait for Jaehyun to take care of it. Without hesitation, you reach for his wrist, pulling him gently out of his disheveled room.

You guide him into the room across the hall—the very one where you first stayed. As you get under the covers, you tug them up and slip in beside him, legs tangling with his as you get comfortable.

Jaehyun can’t tear his gaze away from you as you settle next to him, the soft glow of the moonlight illuminating your features. Your eyes feel heavy, and you yawn again, surrendering to the fatigue. “Go to sleep, Jae, stop staring like a creep,” you grumble, nuzzling deeper into his chest.

“I'm afraid to,” he admits, his words muffled against your hair as he leans down to press a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Why?” you ask, brows furrowing in concern.

“Because I’m afraid that when I wake up, this will all be a dream,” he confesses.

“Jaehyun. I’m right here,” you murmur with a soft yawn, your eyelids feeling heavier by the second. The warmth of his body and the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat lull you into a sense of comfort that makes it hard to resist the pull of sleep. “I’ll always be… right here,” you promise, your words fading into a whisper as sleep finally overtakes you.

[a-tiny-thing]

contract

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: a witcher (polish: wiedźmin) is someone who has undergone extensive training, ruthless mental and physical conditioning, and mysterious rituals in preparation for becoming an itinerant slayer for hire. this witcher is currently in novigrad, and is overshadowed by his fellow brother. whenever a contract for a monster is issued, it is geralt of rivia they expect. seonghwa has grown tired of the disappointed faces that greet him when he accepts a contract, and thus has decided to rest in the big city and let the other witcher do the job. even after geralt left for skellige islands in search of his daughter cirilla, seonghwa decides to keep aside out of spite.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: park seonghwa x f!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.3k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: witcher!seonghwa, catschool!seonghwa, highervampire!reader, f!reader, the witcher universe, smut, angst 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: oral(f!receiving), fingering, squirting, bondage 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: blood, violence, alcohol, nsfw, vampires 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: replaying witcher 3 and I absolutely love this universe! i hate what netflix did to it, it made it all gloomy and sexual and has little to no connection to the lore and aside from henry cavill and his sexy ass voice the show is a complete disaster. if you want to know more about this universe before reading, i suggest you watch this(these animations contain violence, nudity and blood in them!): https://youtu.be/1-l29HlKkXU?si=HAI0GckIcphtcTRa and https://youtu.be/c0i88t0Kacs?si=vvXEaYu_SThzEPNT

not entirely proofread forgive me! 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

the witcher sips his drink at the rosemary and thyme cabaret. the redanian lager in the wooden pitcher has never tasted worse, and the music has never scratched his ears as badly as tonight. he hated what jaskier has done with the brothel. a cabaret, he scoffs to himself.

"oi, witcher!"

the man sighs. even though he was forcing himself to drink the beer and didn't enjoy it, he also didn't enjoy being interrupted.

"'ave you checked the notice board? there's a witcher contract hangin' there for weeks!" the accent behind him is rough. a dwarf, he guesses. but he doesn't have to guess, because the short figure appears in front of him and slams the crumpled piece of paper on the wooden table. "while you're 'ere tryna plough some whores, there's a threat inside the city gates!"

"geralt can handle that." the witcher mumbles, pushing the paper away. he drinks another sip of the warm beer, eyes fixed on the discarded medallion next to his two swords on the table. "he is the mighty wolfie. i'm sure he'll handle it."

"in case ya haven't noticed," the dwarf dares to get into the witcher's face, even goes as far as to flick him on the forehead. "the white wolf has gone lookin' for his lost lass. he is probably already in skellige, solvin' contract after contract and still workin' on finding cirilla. like a true witcher."

when the witcher's eyes start glimmering a familiar yellow, and his irises resemble the cat's, it is a sign for the dwarf to back away. the man places the pitcher with a loud thud on the table, then slowly stands up. his armor clinks as he moves, and his glowing eyes drill into the man's scared ones. still, the shorter male doesn't flinch, even if his eyes give away his emotions.

"when the white wolf comes, he can solve your fucking contract." the witcher doesn't need to raise his voice. the way he growls is enough to make a beast tuck its tail and lower its gaze. which is what the dwarf should be doing now. "as if you know what a true witcher is. stupid humans, hiding in your houses at every wolf howl and owl hoot, burning mages and sorceresses at stakes because they are different than you, casting elves out, calling us witchers mutants, yet crying for help and leaving pathetic notes and contracts on notice boards when you realise just how weak and mortal you are compared to all of us."

"young lasses 're getting killed left and right, and you only care about yer dick and where to get drunk."

"well, certainly not here anymore."

the taller man throws a few coins on the table, not bothering to pick up the ones that fell on the ground. he then takes his swords and puts them on his back, along with the crossbow. the medallion necklace rests in his pocket this time instead of around his neck.

as he makes his way outside, the music doesn't stop, nor do any of the guests or dancers turn to look. they are used to the moody witcher by now. yet the dwarf doesn't give up.

"ye know, i wish geralt were here. he has a daughter. he wouldn't think twice before accepting this contract. you? you are just a coward."

"hey, hey! seonghwa, endarn! you're upsetting my guests!"

"mind your business, jaskier. i am out of here anyway. doubt i'll come back any time soon. you and your cabaret." the dark haired witcher, seonghwa, spits on the ground.

the young bard rolls his eyes. if he didn't know geralt, he would have a very bad opinion about witchers. "passiflora is just a few blocks away. you know, a real brothel. also, not to be rude, but you were a few crowns short back there."

seonghwa grunts. he reaches into his pocket and finds a few more coins, then throws them behind his back and follows the trail to the famous brothel.

"are all witchers 'xcept geralt like that?" the dwarf asks, disappointed.

the bard takes the contract from his hand, looking at the messy hand-writing, then at the stumbling witcher. "no. just the cat school ones. or so i've heard."

meanwhile, seonghwa has found his way to the passiflora brothel. he isn't usually like this, really. but recently, people have been asking for witchers, and when he'd show up, they'd be disappointed it is not his friend and colleague geralt. witchers are not supposed to feel or show emotion. but seonghwa has had enough. just a week ago he had slayed a striga, and the only gratitude he got was a raw fish into his face and a few crowns. he wasn't sad. he was angry that these people had the audacity to plead for help and be picky about it.

he wasn't ploughing anyone. the brothels were the only place where he had peace. people too focused on lust and fun, it allowed seonghwa to sit in the corner and sip his favourite kaedwenian stout in peace. he'd sometimes take a girl upstairs, only to give her a pouch of coins so she can leave him to sleep in peace. some would be relieved, some offended. but seonghwa didn't care. all he wanted was rest.

tonight, however, he needed to switch locations. ever since jaskier met his soulmate, his brothel has transformed into a cabaret. yes, the bard wanted to do that before meeting her. but he delayed it. and seonghwa liked it. now? everyone was at his neck, especially since they discovered that jaskier knows not one, but two witchers. favor here, problem there, and seonghwa couldn't catch a break. this one has rats, this one has a ghoul in his basement, and this one wants to act tough and challenge him to a fist fight so he can win a girl over.

the dark haired man glances at the wooden sign that reads passiflora, before carefully entering. he is greeted with a rather sweet scent and sensual music. the people inside aren't half naked like they were back in rosemary and thyme. they were dressed in prettiest dresses, had their hair decorated with all sorts of pins, and were in elegant make-up. a true refreshment. the place didn't reek of sweat, and wasn't loud at all. no sights of shirtless men with their hairy belly out, no women with missing and unbrushed teeth, no stench of alcohol and bodily fluids. seonghwa was pleasantly surprised.

"ah, a witcher!"

and there it is.

"please, do come in. care for a drink? your first one is on the house."

odd. the middle aged woman didn't bombard him with a plea for help. nor did she look at him with judgement. "thank you...?"

"mathilda is enough." she smiles at him. seonghwa can't remember the last time someone smiled at him genuinely.

"thank you, mathilda."

mathilda turns out to be the owner of the brothel. she has black hair, with dozens of grey strands blending in it. her face has minimum makeup, or so seonghwa thinks. what does he know about makeup? her dress is modest, and he comes to a conclusion that she might be retired. she is also very pleasant to speak with. so pleasant that the witcher doesn't realise how fast the time is passing and how much more talkative he is getting.

"so, which one of the girls has caught your attention?" the woman turns away from the bar, and so does the witcher. he sips his third drink of the evening as the woman points at the girls in the room. "we've got a few new girls, eager to prove themselves. how do you like them?"

when seonghwa glances at the clock, he decides it might be time to go and rest. so he skims over the pretty girls that dance and speak to other customers. some of them are relaxed, as if this is their home, and some are stiff and nervous. his yellow eyes then pick up a figure in the corner, standing all by herself with her arms folded across her chest. her hair is decorated with gold hairpins, and head chain sits prettily on her forehead. it reminds seonghwa of an elven princess. her dress is a deep green, parting at her thighs and falling to the ground. it has a deep cut that goes to her stomach, and it seems that she is trying to hide her exposed skin.

"ah, y/n." mathilda notices his lingering gaze. "good luck with it. i gave her another week to relax, i won't push her yet. if she doesn't change within a week, i'll have to fire her. shame, really. she is gorgeous, and has brought me many new customers."

seonghwa hums. he then locks eyes with the beautiful figure's ones, and downs his beer. to both his and mathilda's surprise, the young woman makes her way towards the bar. for a moment, they think that she might pass by them and just order herself a drink. instead, she places her hand on the witcher's chest, feeling the cold silver armor under her palm.

"good evening, witcher." her voice is as sweet as honey in seonghwa's ears. he is mesmerized, and she has only spoken a few words to him. "come to release some stress?"

seonghwa watches as her glossy lips move while she speaks. subconsciously, his hand reaches for her cheek to cup it, thumb grazing over her bottom lip and eyes focused on the tongue that peeks out to lick the tip of his finger. he almost shudders at the action. the young woman is determined to prove herself, and goes a step further. she wraps her small hands around his big one, and guides his thumb between her lips, gently swirling her warm tongue around it and sending shivers down the witcher's spine. seonghwa feels his trousers tighten; something he hasn't felt in a while.

she releases his finger with a soft pop, but keeps his hand safe in hers near her chest. "i've always wanted to meet a witcher."

and how could seonghwa refuse her, when she looks at him with big pleading eyes, her chest heaving, and with her lip gloss smeared. the desire to smear it further awakens in him, and he wastes no time in paying for his drink and thanking mathilda. the young woman keeps the witcher's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers as she leads him upstairs and into one of the rooms.

usually, this is the part where seonghwa explains that he is not interested in any sexual interactions. but the way the green dress slides off her body, and the way the fireplace illuminates her skin makes his head spin. she turns around, body bare except for the cotton panties that sit on her hips. seonghwa, however, is still in his witcher gear. the feline armor is suddenly too heavy on him. she seems to hear his thoughts, because she is quick to approach him and press her warm bare chest against his clothed cold one. her delicate hands slip around his waist, and on his back, until they reach the belt that holds his weapons.

"may i?"

it only takes a nod from him to get rid of the entire armor and the clothes underneath. he is now also left in his underwear, and he can't wait to take them off too.

"can i give you a massage, witcher?"

seonghwa swears he hasn't heard a voice so seductive... ever. smooth, sweet, breathy. the way she sighs and breathes against his neck as her fingers work on the knots on his shoulder blades relaxes him. before he can fall asleep on the chair in front of the mirror, she wakes him up with a playful hair pull. he only scoffs with amusement. his eyes follow as her last piece of clothing slides down her smooth thighs and pools on the ground. then, she herself gets on the ground on all fours, and crawls over to the stunned witcher.

"what are you-"

"hush, pretty." if seonghwa had anything to add or even finish his sentence, a gasp stops him. he watches as the young woman catches the string of his underwear between his teeth, and pulls until they come loose and fall to the ground.

is she really new?

seonghwa does not complain. he does complain however when she stands up, taking his rough hand in her soft one and guiding him towards the bed. the sight of someone like that getting on her knees for him was a first, and he wanted to savor it just a tad bit longer.

"talk to me, witcher." she climbs on top of him, soft smooth skin caressing his scarred and rough as she lays on top of him. her breasts are squished against his hard chest, and his hands immediately reach for her waist to hold. "tell me what you want. i'll give you all of it."

seonghwa stops for a moment. he isn't sure what he wants. yes, he slept with women before. he slept with sorceresses too. all of them were the same; get it in and over with. seonghwa would simply lay there and let them chase their own pleasure. he would reach his own too, and he never thought further of it. they even complimented him, saying how no man has made them feel that good, that their partners would usually do it for themselves and leave them to finish on their own. now, however, seeing this beauty pressed against him and looking at him with pure desire, he might discover something new. he might put himself first. not that he didn't enjoy the previous encounters. he is just eager to see what she has to offer him. "i give you full freedom to do whatever you wish to me."

her lips stretch in an excited smile, and her eyes have a certain glint. if seonghwa wasn't so painfully needy right now, he would've questioned it. true witcher style.

"just... one thing."

"yes?"

seonghwa's hands reach for the green dress that was dropped on the floor. he hands it to her, and she looks at him with confusion. was he rejecting her?

"put it on."

"but- why?" her lips form a pout. "did i displease you somehow?"

the dark haired witcher smiles. he then simply sits up on the bed, hands still firmly planted on her waist as she fumbles with the green fabric. "no. you just look too stunning in it to leave it on the floor. no panties."

"oh." she exhales, relief washing over her body. "you do realize that you're the first man i've given myself to in this building and you're asking me to cover up?"

seonghwa doesn't respond, but instead watches her dress. her look is complete once again, except for the heeled boots that still lay on the floor. not a single sorceress he has met could compete with her. "so you were waiting for a witcher to be your first?"

"perhaps." her hands reach for the pins in her hair, but seonghwa stops her there too. she then scoffs in disbelief, but obeys anyway. "whatever i want, huh?"

"whatever you want." seonghwa sighs, body fully relaxing on the soft bed and eyes closed. his hands remain on her now clothed waist. he doesn't know what it is, but it gives him a sense of dominance, even if she is the one on top. her body feels small and fragile, and he has the urge to hold her, as if to protect her.

a sweet scent of berries envelops his senses, as well as his mind. her breath warms his neck, just a small warning before her lips attach to his skin. he can't help but flinch. she smiles against him, grazing his neck with her teeth. "found a sensitive spot it seems."

seonghwa only hums. his grip on her waist hardens as she kisses along his jawline, and her nails softly graze the path from his chest, down his stomach and to his defined v-line. finally, she attaches her lips to his. her other hand finds its way to his dark hair, softly massaging his scalp and lightly pulling the strands as he kisses her back. seonghwa feels as if this is his first proper kiss. nobody has ever kissed him before with such desire.

she grinds her hips against his, core lightly grazing his aching crotch, not yet giving him what he needs. as if he wasn't burning with need already, feeling her wet core slide against him only set him further on fire. he never said he was a patient man anyway.

he flips her on the bed with ease, now him being the one on top and in charge. his lips hungrily search for hers, tongue yearns for hers, and hands play with the sheer fabric of the dress. he doesn't care where he touches her. he just wants to feel her.

"thought i had full freedom?" she teases into the kiss.

he doesn't reply, instead biting her lower lip and sucking at it. she whines at the sweet pain, and if seonghwa didn't feel her body arch against his, he would've stopped. his lips chase hers, and no matter how many times his tongue rubs against hers, teeth clash against hers, and lips wipe the remaining lip gloss off hers, he can't get enough. "you taste so sweet."

even though he could spend the entire night just kissing her and feeling her body squirm under his, seonghwa proceeds to leave kisses down her neck, then the exposed skin between her breasts and all the way to her belly. the dress opening ends there, but it doesn't stop him. he disappears under the green ruffles, nose bumping against the soft folds and tongue searching for the source of heat. 

he never did it. he wasn't exactly sure how. all he knew is that he needed to taste her, all of her. with a single swipe up her folds, he has her squirming. he subconsciously grabs her thighs and pulls her closer to his face, holding her in place and burying himself into her core. she does taste as sweet, and smells as delightful. the noises that travel to seonghwa's ears are new to him. never did he hear a woman be so whiny and loud. moans? sure. but whines? that was new. and he wasn't sure if it is a good or a bad thing.

"please..." she finally mutters a word.

the witcher emerges from the green ruffles of her dress, sending her a questioning look. when he sees her flustered face and heaving chest, sleeves pushed down so that her breasts are exposed and her hands playing with the tense nipples, seonghwa realizes what he has been missing out on. there was more to it all than just an orgasm.

and he was going to savor all of it.

"please." she begs again. "i'll be good, just please..."

"please what?" the witcher questions.

"give me something. anything." she shudders when his finger grazes her tense clit. "please."

seonghwa doesn't wish this to end yet. he is loving the impact he has on someone. on her. he can't get over her beauty, or her taste. when he finishes taking in the sight of her half naked and flustered state, he attaches his lips to her clit once again, tongue swiping over the sensitive bud in circular motions and fingers searching for her leaking hole. her moans are more high pitched, and the grip on his hair stronger as he slowly inserts his finger inside. he wastes no time in adding another one, slowly pumping in and out and exploring which motions make her louder and her fingers pull at his hair harder. when he finds a certain spot on her upper wall, he abuses it, to the point where she shakes under his touch and moans turn to a blubbering mess.

"oh, witcher-" she gasps, body suddenly tensing and thighs squeezing around his head.

seonghwa doesn't have time to process what is happening, because he is greeted by clear fluid splashing his face. he doesn't stop yet, even though he wasn't exactly sure what happened. the young woman is a twitching mess under him, grinding her hips against his face and riding out her orgasm. when she starts pulling at his hair to pull him away from her, he takes it as a sign to stop.

"well," he flips the bottom of her dress over, exposing the abused core to the cool air that comes from the open balcony door. "i've never done that before."

"me neither." she admits, face red with embarrassment when she sees the witcher's soaked face. "i'm sorry."

"don't apologize. i am the one that should be apologizing."

"what for?"

instead of answering, he simply kisses her once again, savoring every caress of her tongue against his and every little noise she makes as his hands travel up her body and to her exposed breasts. the rough skin of his worn out fingers give her tense buds a gentle sensation. just enough to have her body arching against his and seek more of his warmth and touch. as she busies herself with playing with his hair and caressing the scars on his back, seonghwa slowly slides inside, letting out a low groan at the warm welcome.

he misses the way her eyes widen and her nails dig into his back. he is halfway in, struggling to go further. when her pretty face makes a painful grimace and a cry leaves her lips, seonghwa stops. "what's wrong?"

"nothing," she blinks her tears away.

"tell me." the witcher cups her face, thumbs caressing her cheeks and wiping the tears away.

"you're big."

his brows furrow. at first he isn't sure what she means, but when he feels her walls clench around him, he realizes. "oh."

"it's alright. keep going." her hands cup his face now, mimicking him. "just go slow."

but the witcher finds himself getting impatient once again. the way her warmth squeezes around him makes him see stars. and just like that, seonghwa finds himself snapping his hips into hers. a painful moan escapes her pretty lips once again, and seonghwa is quick to press his lips into hers to conceal it. she is mess, shamelessly moaning into his mouth whenever his hips collide with hers. tears roll down her cheeks once again, and this time, seonghwa doesn't stop. instead, he slows his pace, opting for sensual moves rather than rough ones.

"you're so big..." she sighs against his lips. "you're going to split me open."

if he could get any rock harder, he would. hell, he might even cum right there and then if it wasn't for the slow moves he was forced to do. "are you complaining?"

"not a bit."

tears of pain soon seem to transform into tears of pleasure, because when seonghwa starts snapping his hips against hers again, she only moans and groans. her walls tighten around him, announcing that she is close again. the witcher holds her waist in place, and his eyes can't get enough of her expressions, or the way her body responds to him and looks so fragile in his arms.

"cum in me, witcher." she begs. "fill me to the brim."

and seonghwa does just that. his moves become sloppy, and his concealed groans are now loud and clear as he pumps his seed into the beauty below him. he sees a slight bulge on her lower stomach when he goes to look where they are connected. fuck, he wants her again. and again and again. until the sun rises, just to watch the pure bliss on her face again.

"are you close?" he asks breathless. he is not yet overstimulated, he is just getting started.

"shut up." she chokes out, clearly focusing on reaching her peak and not wanting to be disturbed.

this time, instead of a moan of ecstasy, her mouth opens without any noise coming out. her eyes roll back, almost all the way, before her body starts twitching as waves of pleasure wash it over. her nails dig into his back, so deep that they pierce his skin and have him wincing in pain. then, her eyes roll back. and seonghwa stiffens.

dangerous red irises stare back at his yellow alert ones. the witcher instinctively reaches for the sword on his back, only to be met with emptiness. the figure below him gives him a wicked smile, with fangs on full display before latching herself onto his neck and piercing his skin once again.

fuck.

seonghwa didn't expect to be awoken in the bed he was in last night. truth be told, seonghwa didn't expect to be awake at all. however, when he tries to move and reach for his weapons that lay on the dresser next to the bed, strains prevent him. strains on both his wrists and ankles. the blinds are blocking the morning sun, keeping the woman who sat in front of the mirror safe. for now.

"why am i alive?"

she looks at him through the mirror, smile dancing on her lips. she runs a comb through her hair and removes the golden pins in the process. "good morning, little witcher."

"let me go."

"well, since you asked so nicely." she rolls her eyes, standing up from the chair and approaching the bed. the green dress is replaced by rags seonghwa usually saw in the war destroyed villages of velen. all of her jewelry sits on the dresser in front of the mirror, including the headpiece that drove seonghwa crazy last night. "come to think of it, i never got to return the favor. you were so eager to fuck me."

he doesn't have to question, because she gives him the answer by running her nails up his thigh and to his crotch. "stop that."

"your cock says otherwise, slayer." when seonghwa doesn't respond to her touch, she huffs. "boring. well, off i go. you better not go anywhere while i'm gone."

seonghwa had many questions on his mind. he didn't know which one to ask first. and he didn't know whether or not he will get a truthful answer. or an answer at all. after all, this was the higher vampire he had a contract on. how foolish of him to leave that medallion in his pocket instead of around his neck. it would've vibrated the moment she laid her hand on his armored chest, and she would've been dead by now.

"isn't mathilda going to question this... situation?" he looks at the ropes holding him to the bed.

"mathilda doesn't care what happens during the day. she only needs the rooms free at night. this room is mine, and i can use it however i please."

"why are you dressed like that?"

"as if you haven't stumbled upon false beggars by now. please, seonghwa." she straightens her rags, and glances at herself in the mirror once again. "you think of us monsters so lowly. like we are stupid. thing is, you're not that different. you're not a human. you're just a mutant."

seonghwa hums, unamused. "it's daylight. how will you go out?"

"there's shades in this city. plenty of them. now, be a good little witcher and stay here." she plants a kiss on his forehead, then turns to leave.

but the witcher is quicker, and grabs her by the rags and tosses on the bed. while he was questioning her, he managed to free one hand from the ropes with his teeth. her eyes turn red again, anger evident on her face.

"silly witcher." her teeth are quick to sink into his flesh again, causing seonghwa to growl with pain. she slurps on his hot blood, moaning in the process, the scent and taste of iron giving her bigger pleasure than anything else. when she pulls away, she has a look of victory and proud on her face. right until seonghwa smirks.

"true. i do think you are stupid." she steps away from him, suddenly feeling dizzy. while stepping back, her shoe kicks something on the floor, causing it to shatter. an empty potion bottle.

"what- what have you done?"

the witcher then frees his other hand, and reaches for his silver sword while the vampire tries to decipher just what he did to her. she gets her answer when she looks at herself in the mirror, veins prominent and pitch black. shaky hands hurriedly get rid of the rags and expose her body. he drank a potion to poison his blood because he knew she'd drink again. her eyes catch a glimpse of the shiny silver through the mirror, and she is quick to dodge it and jump on the bed.

the cut off and untied ropes hang uselessly from the bed frame. or maybe not completely useless. "how should i kill you?"

"no, please." the young woman sits against the bed frame, knees pulled to her chest and hands hugging them in defense. "please."

"i am doing you a favor by asking. silver..." he holds the shiny sword up, runestones making the marks green and match the dress on the floor. "or gold." he points to the balcony door with blinds. a ray of sun has managed to break through, lighting up the medallion that now rests on his chest, vibrating and alerting to danger.

"please." she begs. "i just want to live. we just want to live."

"so does the folk. and you don't let them."

her teary eyes don't work on seonghwa this time. they only make him angrier. she used him. and he fell for it. he was angrier with himself for allowing a woman's seducing to work on him like that. if she were a sorceress, he'd understand. he cannot escape the strong grip of magic. but a vampire? all these years of work and training seemed for nothing. he only hopes geralt doesn't find out about this.

"i don't kill. i just feed!"

"you feed on women and children."

"children are just weak. and those women weren't worth anything! their husbands would come and fuck me, and then offer their wives to me!" she then gets on her knees, hands in a pleading motion. "please, witcher. you kill to survive. so do i."

"no."

in a few seconds, the young woman is bound to the bed, hissing and growling at the witcher as he approaches the balcony door.

"i kill to save people. you kill to save yourself."

with that, he pulls the blinds, allowing the sun to enlighten the room and the nude figure on the bed.

"your kind will no longer torment people. i won't stop until i've killed the last one of you vampires, hags, wraiths and ghouls. i exist for the sole purpose of exterminating you. and that is what i'll do. even if it takes all my life."

the vampire is in no position to form any sentences, body seething and glowing under the morning yellow sun. the witcher is unfazed, already used to it. he calmly puts his armor back on, puts the weapons on his back, and gives the vampire a final glance before going downstairs to sign the contract and collect his reward.

[a-tiny-thing]

Children of the Sea

Pairing — KimHongjoongxafab!Reader

Summary — Living in a small town where everyone knew eachother, visitors were quickly recognized and sometimes freedom loving young women were especially drawn to said visitors... or maybe just their captain...

Genre — fluff, angst, smut, Pirate AU

Warnings — oral, fingering, penetrative sex , death, alcoholism, death by burning, death in childbirth

Word Count — 13.3k

Rating — nsfw

A/n: Thank you @caelesjjk for the wonderful header! <33

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

"To be free means to be independent, not to be influenced by what others think or say!"

Those words were ringing in your ears as you stared over the edge of the cliff and down into the dark water that came crashing into the rocky surface of the stone in giant waves. Sat up there, you could almost make yourself believe that your life was good! That it was how you wanted it do be! But it wasn't. Far from it actually!

You were no fool. You knew that other girls your age were long married of to the richest suitor, waiting to bare their children and become the perfect little housewife! The thought alone send shivers down your spine. Remembering what it had done to your own mother, how she had withered away during those months she had carried your little brother in her womb only to tragically bleed out on while giving birth made your fingers dig into the soil and grass you sat on!

There were still moments where you thought you could hear her screams of said summer day echo through the night, making you miss her so much more. The nightmares her desperate screams had cause little 9 year old you had followed you for ages and the way it had suddenly been silent in your little cottage still haunted you to this day...

Years later is where you found yourself still mourning her soothing touch as she ran her gentle hand over your face when you had woken up from a bad dream as a child. You mourned the songs she had sang to you that you would never be able to hear again and how your little brother would never hear it at all...

Jungwon was the definition of soft, sunny and innocent, the carbon copy of who your mother had been as a person! Something your father had come to despise more and more the older the boy became. The man hated his sons soft nature, trying to make the perfect man out of the 11 year old but seemingly failing at it! Much to distracted to care for the disappointment of a daughter he had, the old man spend his days screaming, drinking and barely keeping the family Inn out of debts. The fact that it was you who kept things truly running, went ignored. Not that you cared anyways.

Enjoying the breeze of cold sea wind tugging at your face and the fabric of your skirts, you let out a long exhausted breath. The sun, drowning the scenery in a orange glowing hue was setting already and it was time to return home.

You got up, grass stains visible on your dress, looking back at the sea wondering what else could be out there for you. Probably nothing, but you liked to imagine that there was something else waiting for you out there then the sheltered and lonely life you had here. Your eyes focused on the ship sailing towards land and you couldn't help but stare for a moment longer. There was something about it that captured your interest!

Shaking yourself out of the trance you were in you quickly ran back to the village. It was almost time for dinner and you were not planning to let Jungwon go to bed on an empty stomach. That you were going to work all night without any food for yourself went ignored. You were used to it at this point and your brother needed it more, he was a growing boy after all.

Jungwons face visibly brightened at the sight of you appearing in your kitchen. His shaggy brown hair artfully braided back to prevent it from falling into his eyes and the big smile tugged at your heart. You couldn't help but brush your fingers over the side of his face as you past him and got ready to serve the admittedly sparse dinner of bread, cheese and a little meat to the 2 men of the family. The grim look on the old mans face didn't bothered you in the slightest. The smell of alcohol on him however did! It meant that he was already drunk and that you would probably have to work until the early morning hours again without him showing up to help out!

"An where wee you again?" the man hollowed, speech already slurred which told you all you needed to know.

"Helping Madame Delacroix with the new delivery of fruits. She promised to bring some over tomorrow." you said sounding utterly unimpressed by the tone of his voice. It wasn't a lie! Before you had wandered of and watched the sunset, you had helped the older woman you called your neighbor. And you didn't plan on telling where else you had been. Instead you winked at your little brother who had to hide a giggle as he took a bite from the slice of bread you had put in front of him.

 Your father huffed annoyed, looking at the food with disgust. Long used to the complaints of the bread being to dry or the meat being tasteless you busied yourself with listening to Jungwon telling you about his day instead. The happiness that radiated from him was almost contagious.

"Will you read me a bed time story later?" the boy wanted to know and promptly pouted when you shook your head.

"Why nooot?" he whined.

"I'm sorry Wonnie, but I'll be at the Inn already when you go to bed later."

It was evident that the child didn't like that but he accepted defeat quickly, knowing that arguing would get him nowhere.  "Ah don be such a wuss boy! Your sistr shouln be coddling ya so much, you weak nough already..."

Could looks kill, your father would have fallen out of his seat right then and there! Not that he wasn't close to falling of it anyway.

"Ignore him!" you mouthed at him and received a nod in return.

Soon the food was gone and without a word your father staggered out of the kitchen, almost falling over in the process. Where to you didn't know and you didn't want to.

"Will you be okay alone? You know that you have to lock the doors and to-"

"To come to the Inn and stay with you if there's something wrong? Yes I know sister, don't worry I'm a strong boy with a dagger!"

Of course he knew the rules, you had made sure of that early on. It wasn't safe, by far not but with the way things were you didn't have another choice and you had to trust that nothing would happen.

Taking a step towards Jungwon, brushed your hand over his head and placed a kiss on his temple. "Someday things will be different l promise!"

"I know and now go! I will be fine and father is here too."

That wasn't as reassuring to you as he thought but you nodded, a pained smile grazed your lips as you left. Your stomach was growling and you hoped that you could snag a bowl of stir-fry from the Inn kitchen later on.

The way wasn't far and you were the first one there to open the establishment. Soon 3 coworkers would arrive to cover their shifts for the night but as the daughter of the boss that never showed his face, you took on that role.

The candles were already lit up when the first one arrived. Yoongi, your head chef , could be compared with a grumpy cat! Ready to strike at any given moment but still lovable and in need of some head scratches.

And then there was Hyunjin, flirty and always ready for a chat. Oh and always ready to either punch or kiss Jisung, the man who came in only to bother the waiter you called your best friend. You were sure that the two were somehow involved with each other but both firmly denied that.

He waved shortly and helped you sweep the floor once more before you opened  and then vanished in the back. Hyunjin liked the dramatics of always being falling through the door just minutes before you turned the Closed-sign around to show Open instead and so, like always he flew in right when you wanted to turn the sign around. He apologized hurriedly and promised to never let that happen again. It caused Yoongi to laugh loudly from the back. As if. The dark mark sucked into the skin of his throat almost glowing!

The evening went and the night began and with it customers started pouring in. You knew most of them, it was a small down after all and nothing out of the ordinary happened.

It was the usual. Men came into get drunk or have their fun with the ladies searching for a good time and strip those idiots of their money, as long as there was no drama you didn't care or the occasional traveler searching for a room to sleep in and a warm meal. Nothing out of the Ordinary until the door opened and in came 4 men that were complete strangers to you. One glance to Hyunjin told you that he too was clueless to who they were. They looked like trouble as they sat down at the bar where you were making sure that drinks were being filled so Hyunjin could quickly deliver them to the tables.

Thankfully they kept to themselves for the most part. The shrieking laugh from one of them however could clearly be heard in the entire Inn! You would lie if you said that the first time didn't surprise you so much that you almost dropped the jug of beer you were filling causing Hyunjin to almost drop to the floor laughing. Quickly whacking him with a towel you made sure he knew how displeased you were and you hoped they hadn't noticed your little moment.

"What can I get you gentlemen?" Leaning against bar counter you looked at them expectantly.

Four pairs of dark brown eyes found your e/c ones with various degrees of surprise or interest.

The loud one was sitting there, wide-eyed and open mouth as if he had just wanted to say something. His black hair framed his face beautifully, not a piece out of line.

The tallest one—with honey-blonde hair sticking up wildly—had his head propped up on his ring-clad fingers. His white shirt was only halfway buttoned up, exposing the entirety of his very toned chest.

Next to him was another black haired one with mesmerizingly soft features that reminded you of your mother; and last, but not least, the one that glared at you, very unimpressed.

His silver hair was short at the sides and long on top, tied back with chains of black, white, and what seemed to be a gold chain. His ears were adorned with multiple earrings and a face reminding you of the fairies in old tales…

"Uhm, 3 beers and 1 whiskey please?" the tall one said, sounding unexpectedly shy even with his deep voice and you turned to look at him instead of staring at his fairy friend.

"Sure. Want anything else? Maybe some food?"

3 of them shook their heads while their friend was still not taking his eyes off of you.

"Here you go! Tell me if you need anything else!" You put the filled jugs and the glass down in front of them. "Thank you darlin."

Surprised by the higher pitched voice of the glaring stranger, your eyes found his again. It fit him well. You had to admit that he was handsome and definitely your type as he swirled the whiskey around in his glass with a calmness you envied him for.

You bit your lip, quickly turning away to get away from the situation.

A little further, old Jinyoung was hitting the bar like he tried to catch flies to get your attention. You rolled your eyes. The man was a regular and regularly he drank himself under the table, tumbling out of the Inn almost blackout drunk only to come back the next day and repeat it all over again. That’s how it had been ever since you were old enough to work for your father. He was nice, at least when he got what he wanted, but also very loud and had the tendency to flirt with everything that had legs.

"Aye girl, don ya look lovely today. How bout ya give an old man like me nother refill?" Jinyoung slurred, followed by a burp that had you grimacing at the smell.

"Don't you think you had enough already? I'm sure your wife is waiting for you." With furrowed brows he waved you off. "Don kid yaself girl!"

Hyunjin caught your eyes from across the room, balancing a tray of empty bowls and jugs as he made his way into the kitchen to rinse them clean. The waiter had never been a fan of the drunk man who continued rambling about the hardships of his life and marriage and tried to stay seated upright.

"Just throw him out. Man is wasted enough as it is and probably won't remember tonight at this point. Not like that's anything new..." he suggested in passing. Not bothering to answer him, instead you watched the old man eventually do tip over only to be caught be the loud shrieking stranger.

Huffing, you thought about it. Maybe your friend was right and you should send him on his way to sober up. A shudder ran down your spine at the thought of possibly provoking an argument.

"Ahh, Jinyoung-ssi, I think you had enough for tonight... Maybe come back tomorrow but I think you should go home and sleep a little."

A deep frown fell upon the mans face after the words had registered in his foggy brain.

"Thas not on ya to descide foolish girl!" he snapped, words barely audible at this point. "N' now gimme 'nother!"

Customers were turning their heads to see what the commotion was about, only to turn back to their own tables when they recognized who the cause of it was they were all used to the antics of the drunkard. The side eye he received from the four men beside him almost made you snort.

"I don't think so. Please leave my Inn and sober up."

Reaching for the jug, you planned to take it from him. Although horribly intoxicated, his reflex in grabbing onto your arm was still sharp and a dull pain made itself known.

"Let my arm go, now!" you hissed lowly, eyes focused on his hand tightly holding onto your wrist.

Not reacting to your demand, his grip only got tighter. The pain only getting stronger. You winced.

"Let go!"

Jinyoung growled,  sounding much like a wild animal at the moment.

"I think the Lady told ya to let go of her just now…”

Shocked by the sudden help, your head whirled around to where the silver haired man was taking a sip of his glass, effectively emptying it in the process and slamming onto the counter. The noise left the man still holding onto you startled, giving you the chance to try and twist yourself out of his hold!

Glaring at the much younger man Jinyoung snarled, "Non of ya business!" only to turn back to you.

"Now about tha beer girl-"

 The sound of a blade hitting the wooden surface of your bar cut him off. The silver haired stranger twisted a dagger between his fingers, reflecting the light of the candles brightly. The unspoken threat hanging in the air loud and clear.

"Captain!" his deep voiced companion warning quietly, receiving a blow to the side from the black haireds elbow.

“Ya gonna let her go now?"

The pressure on your arm went away but you could still feel his fingers lingering on it. Teeth bared, the man pulled out o few coins clumsily, dropped them on the counter. Stumbling out the door. while curses escaped him on the way out.

Turning back to them, you watched the stranger put his dagger aside. Eyes catching his, you nodded in acknowledgment to thank him. For a split second you thought you could see the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. Giving you the slightest hint of a smile!

Things calmed down again. Only your nerves were still a little unsettled, making you inhale to calm yourself.

It was already early in the morning and people slowly started to leave until everyone safe for you, Hyunjin and Yoongi were left to clean up. The first rays of the morning sun illuminated the Inn already when you were finally able to closeup and say goodbye to the two men.

Tired and ready to fall into bed until you had to get up again, you went straight past your snoring father who had passed out on the stairs it seemed, checked on Jungwon one last time before you your door behind you.

Sleep however didn't come easy, even with the blanket pulled up to your nose. The fabric felt unusual scratchy on your skin.

Your thoughts began to wander as you turned and twisted to find a position comfortable enough to let you fall asleep. They went back to the whiskey drinking captain. For the rest of the night you had felt him watching your every move up until they left again. It had left you more flustered then you would like to admit!

His piercing stare seemed to haunt you even now! You would be lying if you said you weren't intrigued as well. But now it was to late. The handsome stranger was gone and the chance of running into him again was close to none...

---------

 3 Days later you were on the way to buy some much needed food at the market down at the docks! The fisher boats were out at sea at this time of day so there weren’t that many ships there today, safe for one you had never seen before.

It looked familiar in a way and although you couldn’t pinpoint where you had seen it before, you felt an energy radiating off of it that mesmerized you!

Even early in the morning, the streets were already filled with people who -just like you- were running errands. Buzzing with life that forced you to navigate through the crowd,  empty  pressed closely to your front to prevent sneaky hands from stealing from right under your nose.

"How are you dear one? How is little Jungwon doing today?" Taeyeon, the bakers wife asked excided to see you. Stroking her swollen stomach ever so gently with her hand, she handed a still warm Loaf of bread to you.

"We are doing ok, thank you for asking! How's the baby doing in there? Still keeping you awake?" The older woman took the offered coins, nodding at your question.

"They sure do! I just hope they won't do the same once they're born..."

Knowing full well that she would probably get even less sleep then now soon, Taeyeon laughed.

You weren't one to indulge in the business of others, not if you could avoid it at least. But something about the bakers wife just warmed your heart. You couldn't help but admire her! She was one of the few women who did not let anyone decide for her! Someone who was smart, confident and very vocal about the unfair treatment women got from most men! Her marriage wasn't arranged, she had refused that early on and fought tooth and nails when her parents had suggested that as a young girl!

That was what you wanted too!

"And concerning your order for the Inn, it will be ready for you to pickup later today. Or do you need my husband to deliver it?"

You shook your head. No Yoongi already volunteered to pick it up the day prior on his way to work, meaning there was no need to cause any more work for them. "Okay, just tell us if you need anything else!"

The woman hurried to tend to the next customer leaving you to continue your own shopping. Still having to get some fresh milk, fish and herbs, you turned on your heel and ran straight into the firm chest of the man standing behind you.

Almost dropping the bread, your hand flew up to rest over your racing heart. His own holding onto your elbows to avoid you hitting the ground.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry, I wasn't watch -" You stopped in your tracks, recognizing the man who had threatened Jinyoung just a few days ago.

"Ya okay, nothing happened."  He rasped, looking just as handsome as a few nights ago, voice sending a pleasant shudder over your skin. His eyes lit up, clearly recognizing you.

Ignoring the annoyed complaints from around you because you just stood there without any implication of moving along. Your could feel your heart racing underneath where your palm rested still. Now that you stood right in front of him and there was no counter separating you from him for entirely different reasons then just surprise! He was close enough that you could feel the warmth of his skin through the fabric of his shirt and his breath his your face, making you heat up rapidly as his focus trailed from your eyes to your mouth, down to the low cut neckline where he caught a glimpse of your cleavage and backup. Your cheeks were burning! 

It took a moment for you to come back to reality. The reality that you were pressed right against a total stranger! You! An unmarried women! It was enough to take a step back and his hold loosened.

For the first time his face relaxed and a friendly yet dangerous smile crossed his face.

"Ya the owner of the Inn right?" he mused.

"The owners daughter actually! You really helped me out a few days ago, thank you again for that…”

Moving along you thanked him hoping that you weren't embarrassing yourself right now.

He waved it of nonchalantly, like it was no big deal. "Ah it was nothin. Some just don't know when to stop drinkin!

 Reaching the farmers stand you pointed at a small wheel of cheese which you paid for and continued on your way. Stranger still walking  along to the next stand.

"It seemed like ya were used to it already," he stated and you shrugged. He was right after all and there was no point denying it.

"Well kind off. Jinyoung comes in every night so yes, you could say I'm used to it."

Displeasure flew across his face. "And your father let's him back in? With the way he acts around his daughter?"

Shrugging you stepped around a goat that ran through the crowd. "He'd have to stop drinking himself to notice that."

Why you told him all that you had no idea! He was a stranger who's name you didn't even know, and here you were talking about things that had no business being talked about with him!

You could feel his piercing gaze on you but ignored it. There was nothing you could say either way.

With full arms you took the herbs you needed from the apothecary, trying to juggle every without dropping it when the bread was suddenly taken from you.

"Here let me help you!"

„Thank you…“

„Ya can call me captain.“ Snorting you gave him aside glance. „Yeah, I’m not gonna do that!“

„Well then how about Hongjoong?“

You gave him an amused smile. " Nice to meet you Hongjoong, I'm y/n! L/N y/n!"

Together you walked, talking and teasing like you have never done so before until you came to a halt. Hongjoong recognized the ally where the Inn was, but was surprised to see that you led him to the back entrance instead.

The backdoor led to a little room that was connected to the main room and functioned as an office. There were books and parchment everywhere. It looked like a tsunami had went threw it.

You pointed to a side table to signal where he could put the food he had carried down.

"I'll be going through the books for a bit and take everything home later. Will I be seeing you again sometime? I'd would be my pleasure..."

Hongjoong thought for a second before answering. "Maybe ya will, Wooyoung has been begging me to come here again either way!"

The name didn't sound familiar but you guessed that it was one of his friends. Huffing out a laugh, you teased lighthearted," So you would only come back here to keep your crew mate happy? I see how it is Captain Hongjoong!"

An amused laugh resonated through the small room.

"Well, l/n y/n, ya'll see me around!"

And he was gone again. The whole encounter left you feeling various things at once. Happy that you got to see the handsome man again and even got to know his name, sad that he was gone again already and equally excited and impatient to see him again!

Suddenly the thought of having to go through the Inns income books wasn't as bad as it had sounded this morning.

-------

"And you talked to him?!" Hyunjin screeched, excited to hear the newest drama whilst drying a freshly cleaned plate with a rag. You winced and nodded, pulling another sound out of him that had customers turning their heads to see what the fuss was about. The waiter ducked his head at the scolding glare of Yoongi who, for once, was not hidden in the kitchen! Rubbing his hand over his ear, the cook quickly escaped. Leaving the proximity of where Hyunjins yells weren't as loud.

"How was he? He seemed really intimidating when he was here with his friends. Frowning all night long even though his friends seemed like so much fun..." It was clear that your friend wouldn't let it go and would keep bothering you until he knew every single detail about your encounter with the silver haired sailor. So you told him everything.

Jisung, who had graciously joined you at the bar once more tonight, propped his head up on his hands. A mischievous spark gleaming in his eyes.

"Sounds like our little y/n-ie has a cruuush!" he singsonged and received a rag to the face. "Yah! Have you lost it?" you snapped pouting.

Your waiter shook his head. "Nonono, for once I have to agree with what he's saying! It sounds like you were flirting, A LOT! And he flirted right back!" he agreed and Jisung mockingly stuck his tongue out at the other who responded in the same manner.

“Okay, first of all you two are acting like children and second, we were NOT flirting! And I do NOT have a crush!"

Both men looked at each other. "Sure you don't!"

You rolled your eyes, taking four filled mugs to bring them to a table near the back, leaving the two giggling lovebirds to chatter among themselves. Both of them were wrong! You hadn't flirted with the stranger and he hadn't with you! 

 The door swung open and a new wave of customers came in. Under them you recognized Jungwon ducking around a man who almost ran into a table. Your brother looked around searching for your familiar face and when he found it he skipped over to you.

"Wonnie what are you doing here? You should be in bed already," you questioned while balancing the empty mugs. The boy reached for some to take from you and followed you back to the bar.

"Father was being loud again." The casualness with which the boy answered left a bitter taste in your mouth. You hated it with a burning passion! Knowing that this was Jungwons reality since he was just mere moments old was one thing you couldn't help but resent! You knew what being loud meant and you were glad that your brother had chosen to leave rather then staying and listen to the old man moaning and screaming about how his children had ruined his life.

"Oh, really?" you asked dumbly, hoping to not appear to angry. Jungwon didn't notice and hummed.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep because of it," he placed the mugs on the counter for Hyunjin to clean. The tall boy looked confused for a split second but schooled his face and ruffled Jungwons hair in a friendly manner.

"You can take the bed in the back until I get out of here and then we can go home." you offered but your brother shook his head. Instead, he rounded the bar and climbed up the chair to sit next to Jisung who delightfully started to play games with him.

Yoongi let out a low whistle to get your attention. The cook had placed a steaming bowl with stew and fresh bread into your hands before signaling to Jungwon and disappeared again. The boy dug in happily and turned back to face Jisung.

You watched carefully. It wasn't often that he joined you ad work but whenever he did you always made sure that he was always around you or someone you trusted. This was after all a place filled with drunk men and women!

"Servin children in an establishment like this? 'm shocked!" the voice of Hongjoong ripped you out of your thoughts and you turned to look him in the eyes. You hadn't noticed him coming in, nor had you noticed him sitting down at the bar with his black haired friend that must have been Wooyoung.

The silver haired man winked at you which made your cheeks heat up.

"That's my brother." you stated quickly.

"’nd that's ma nightmare Wooyoung." retorted with a side smirk at his friend. Wooyoung sucked in a deep breath and answered with mock insult. "I'm wounded Captain! I thought what we had was special!"

With his hand thrown over his heart he made a pouty face at Hongjoong who just scoffed. Laughing gently you leaned against the bar.

"You're back sooner then I thought you would be,"

"What can I say? I was thirsty." Hongjoong said casually while the boy next to him snorted. "Thirsty for- "

He cut himself off at the glare he received and you hid a laugh behind your hand. Wooyoung was definitely not the type to hold back!

"And I thought you came to see me..." you quipped with an innocent smile playing on your face. You couldn't help but notice the way Hongjoongs eyes dropped to your lips and back up again. The knowing side eye from your waiter went unnoticed.

"Same as last time?"

The men both nodded and Wooyoung eyed you with a smirk but said nothing. Hyunjin filled both glass and mug and handed them to you to give to them.

Jungwon was yawning loudly and your focus went back to him.

"Tired Wonnie?"

The boy gave another yawn. "Can we go home now?"

You knew that it was way to early to close up now and with the way things were going, you didn't want to leave Hyunjin and Yoongi to have to cater all the customers alone. "You can lay down in the back if you want but I can't leave yet, I'm sorry little brother."

Jungwon rubbed his eyes.

"He can stay at my place for tonight if you want y/n. I was planning to leave soon anyways..."

Hesitating you looked at your brother and met his pleading eyes. "Fine, tonight is free of charge for you!"

Behind him Jinyoung raised his hand slowly. "Not for you!" you scowled. His hand dropped again.

The 11 year old hopped down from his stool  with Jisungs help. "I'll bring him by your house later, promise!"

You waved, blew a kiss and watched Jungwon pull a face of disgust before they went out the door.

"He's cute!" Hongjoong commented after a sip whiskey.

"He is and much to young to have to suffer late nights between drunk fools…”

At the questioning looks you received from both the silver and black haired you sighed. "What I said this morning was not just a phrase,"

While Wooyoung was non the wiser, Hongjoong had a look of understanding on his face. You weren't planning on airing out to the entire town how your family life was going but judging by the expression on his face, he understood very well without needing anymore details.

A plate shattered at a nearby table which ripped you out of your stupor and you went back to work.

Throughout the night,  non of your customers thankfully made any trouble. Relieved you whipped down the last table. People had cleared out and even Hyunjin and Yoongi had already left after the kitchen had been cleaned. You met Hongjoongs eyes who sat alone at the bar. His friend already gone.

"Where-" you began to ask where his companion was. "Went back to our ship already. He can handle a lot but he gets bored easily so he went back, probably to cause trouble with his shadow,"

His glass had long been empty already but something, or rather someone, stopped him from leaving too.

"Well I'm all done and since Wonnie is at Jisung's, I have no reason to go home yet. How about another drink? This time with me?"

You didn't know where this idea came from but the grin spreading out on the mans face was worth it. ”Gladly! I'll take another of those!"

He held up his glass only to get it taken from him and refilled just a second later with you rounding the bar and a glass of your own to sit where Wooyoung had sat earlier.

Silence engulfed the two of you. You felt him watching your every move while emptying your drink almost in one go.

“Seems like you needed that tonight. Ya okay little dove?" His voice was soft, soothing for your frazzled mind.

"As okay as I can be I guess. Raising a child and managing the Inn can be quite stressful at times." You snarked and turned your head to look at him. Hongjoong nodded.

"What about your mother?"

"Dead.”

While he had already thought that much, the man had not expected you to outright say it. In the short time that he had known you there were so many things that reminded him of the things he himself had gone through as a child! It was way to familiar to not be exactly what he thought.

He wished he could tell you how sorry he was that this was how you had to spend your life. Sure, the boy he met briefly tonight was an angel but he couldn't imagine that raising a child that young had ever been in your plans for life!

"Don't look so serious! It's fine and we're used to it! Better tell me when you and your pirate friends are gonna sail off again!"

The astonished look that crossed his face made you laugh loudly.

"What? Did you think I didn't know? The first night you came here the tall blond one called you Captain! You, wanted me to call you captain! And if you don't want people to know you should really change your look! You’re no exactly subtle..."

The pirate was rendered speechless at the teasing. He really thought you didn't know! He too laughed not knowing if he should get up and leave or stay right where he was.

"Don't worry, l won't tell anyone so tell me, how long are you going to be here for?"

Hongjoong shrugged. "We don't know yet. Our ship has to be fixed and we need to restock our storage first.  So probably a few more days!"

You hummed softly and he elbowed you gently into the side.

"Why do ya want to know? Ya gonna miss me?" he grinned and leaned over to get closer.

Your heart fluttered and you got even closer. Hongjoong glanced at your lips again where his eyes stayed for longer then necessary.

"Maybe..." you breathed out quietly and simultaneously you closed the gap between your lips. Eyes fluttering shut.

His lips soft and chaste moved slowly against your own, sending sparks through your body making you miss him as soon as he pulled back. Instead of entirely pulling away, he stayed close. Close enough for you to be able to feel his hot breath against you while his mouth hovered a mere inch over yours.

You slowly opened your eyes and could see him swallow harshly as you looked up, eyes finding his before they dropped back to his mouth, the tip of his tongue peaking out a little in a way that was almost mocking. For a split moment you just stared at the silver haired man.

The kiss had been brief, not long enough for it to be considered deep, but it had lit a fire in you that you hadn't known was there! It was an unfamiliar feeling that you had never felt before safe for the rare times you found yourself alone in the safety of your own four walls hiding you away from the greedy looks the men of the town often gave you! Never before had you felt this way in the presence of a man because of a man!

And when you suddenly felt his mouth back on your own, you couldn't help the sound that slipped out. The kiss now far more demanding and much less hesitant had your hands searching for something to hold onto.

Fingers buried into the lose fabric of the shirt covering his chest, giving you a short glimpse of his skin as you tugged on it, you rose from the bar stool to get closer. Hongjoong followed without further ado and without breaking the kiss. His own hands found their place on your jaw,  holding you right where he wanted and preventing you effectively from pulling away! Not that you wanted to!

You could feel his tongue licking at your lower lip, begging to be let in. A battle for dominance broke out, one that you willing and gladly gave up.

Quickly you found yourself pressed against the bar, the hard edge of the surface digging into your back. One of his hands let got of your face, instead holding onto your waist before you found yourself hoisted up and sad on top of your bar counter. The glass you had been nursing on got pushed back in the process and with a clanging noise it dipped over the edge and shattered into million little pieces on the ground.

Surprised by the sound of breaking glass you whipped around, separating your mouth from his which caused him to growl quietly in dissatisfaction.

"I-" you gasped out, inhaling deeply and with wide eyes you looked back at Hongjoong.

The pirate almost stared you down with desire darkening his eyes, breath short and his head slightly tilted back to take in the view in front of him. You didn't want to know what you looked like in that moment but you could imagine that you didn't look better then you felt!

"Ignore it," he said, voice low and licking his lips. "We can take care of it when I'm done with ya!"

 Hongjoong let his hands trail to your dress covered waist, down to your thighs and gently pried them open to stand in between them. His gaze was burning and you felt a little lost on what to do now.

It must have shown on your face because Hongjoong's softened at the sight of it. He grabbed your hands in his, moving them away from where they were still lodged into his shirt, lowering them and linking his fingers with your own. You looked down, noticing the black painted nail of his pinky for the first time before you got distracted again by his mouth slotting itself back against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and you let him claim it as his again.

For a while that's all you did. You, high up on the bar with his standing right in front of you, kissing you and enjoying the little whines he managed to pull from you while he pressed his hard on straining against his trousers against your skirt covered thigh.

His lips were oh so soft against yours, warm and demanding in a way that made you want to submit to his every move the longer he kept his ministrations up! It made your whole body shudder. Heated skin brushing against the sleeves of your dress, making you want to get rid of it along with his! You wanted to feel his skin on yours, wanted him to touch you! So you moved to shrug the jacket from his shoulders, letting it drop to the ground carelessly.

"Hongjoong," you breathed against his lips, words sounding weak and whiny in a way you have never heard yourself sound before. He immediately looked back at you, a cocky smile adorning his face.

"What is it little dove? Got something to say?" he questioned and sounded sinfully innocent while doing so. It was clear that he was mocking you which you didn't appreciate in the slightest. With a rush of bravery and determination you  didn't know you had you directed one of his hands to the hem of your skirt, urging him to free you of it.

"Touch me!" you demanded.

Hongjoong had half a mind to simply rip the dress of your body once he saw a glimpse of the smooth skin of your legs but decided against it. He didn't want you walking through the streets later half undressed after all!

Teasingly slow he pulled the skirt up causing it to bunch up around your waist, leaving you in your undergarment. The man lost his patience fairly quickly after that and you felt him rip the last piece of fabric down your legs, leaving your dripping wet pussy exposed to the air around.

"Oh, little dove, I barely touched ya and you're already such a mess? Just for me?" he grins like a cat that caught the bird and let the fingers of his right hand slip through the juices collecting between your legs and over that sensitive bundle of nerve hidden there. His left one cupped your breast through your top. The way your nipple was pressing into his palm made him nearly lose his mind as it found it's way inside to free them just enough to spill over the fabric, giving him easy access to lean in and take the bud into his mouth and suck.

With a little shriek you weren't proud of you covered your mouth with your hand. The sensations you felt from your breast in his mouth and Hongjoongs hand between you legs left you speechless!

You clenched around nothing, pussy twitching with want to finally get some attention.

"Ah-ahh pleeease…”you begged breathlessly. What you begged for you weren't sure. The pirate looked up, still suckling and licking and his thumb slowly rubbing circles over your clit. Trying to push your hips further into his hand you let your head fall back.

"Are ya enjoying yourself?"

He guided your head back up, fingers under your chin, forcing you to look straight into his dark orbs. The hand working between your legs stopping and moving away. Frustrated at the loss you glared at him, causing Hongjoong to huff out a small laugh.

"Stop playing with me already and get on with it!"

The impatience in your voice wasn't lost on the man but instead of indulging you, he simply ignored it. He found it amusing that he could reduce you to such a bossy mess without really having done anything for it.

Entertained by the glare you gave him, Hongjoong shook his head.

"Ya know, I'm enjoying this way to much to just stop like that."

Without further warning the pirate dropped to his knees with a cunning smirk that should have been a warning in and for itself and let his tongue run over your folds. You jumped in shock, not having expected him to do that and a little shriek left your lips. Your first instinct was to push his head away but Hongjoong didn't let you! Instead the simply pushed your thighs further open to get even better access!

Sometimes you heard the whores that frequented the Inn talk and never had you even once entertained the idea of having a man between your legs yourself. It was harshly frowned upon to have sex outside of a wed-lock and even then it was never supposed to be about the pleasure of a woman!

But having this man, a pirate no less, lick up your juices like he was starving, finding joy in the way you moaned and keened highly with your hands trying to grab onto the wooden surface under you and your head thrown back, you cursed the gods that have led everyone to believe that.

His name fell like prayers from your lips and it was like music to his ears. Hongjoong had never been a child of innocence and showing you the wonders of what could be made his dick strain painfully against his trousers.

It was clear that you were quickly approaching your orgasm judging by the erratic breathing you let slip and to aid you he slipped his finger inside your fluttering hole.

You moaned loudly at the added pleasure, toes curling while one of your hands reached out to thread your fingers into his hair. The sudden tugging had Hongjoong groan into your pussy, the vibrations of it being enough to send you over the edge.

Hongjoong let you ride out your high before letting up, standing tall and pulled you upright.

You were panting, drops of sweat glistening on your forehead and eyes only half opened as you lazily blinked at him. Not giving you time, the pirate placed his juice slick mouth on yours, making you taste yourself. The kiss was rough nothing gentle about it and still you felt like this was how it was supposed to be!

Growing the courage to reach for the buckle of his belt, you carefully tried to open it with clumsy fingers. Hongjoong stopped you.

"We don't have to-"

"I want to! Please fuck me?"

The way the words fell from your lips, sounding so shy but sure at once had his mind reeling. Shrugging his trousers down to rest around his ankles the man tugged out his dick. You glanced at it, never having seen a naked male in all his glory and felt nervousness take over.

"Don't worry little dove, I'll make ya feel so good…”he trailed of lined himself up with your folds, kissed you softly and pushed in.

You clung to him, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. Hearing the quiet whimper of pain Hongjoong halted. His eyebrows were furrowed in pleasure and it took all his will strength to not just thrust all the way into your heat. He let his hands trail down your side ever so gently. You almost couldn't feel it through the silk of your dress but it was enough to relax a bit.

"Go on..." you exhaled into his neck.

The pirate slowly pushed in, shushing every pained noise until he was sheathed all the way inside of you where he stilled. Allowing you to get used to the feeling before he pulled out to thrust right back in.

The pain slowly turned into pleasure soon after and loud moans slipped out of you, telling the pirate exactly how good he was doing.

"Ya sound so good for me little dove. Let it all out, let me hear how good I make ya feel." He rasped right against your ear. It made your walls flutter around his cock and Hongjoong almost came on the spot as you whined his name in pleasure.

His thrusts grew irratic and Hongjoong knew that he wasn't gonna last much longer at the sensations of your head tightening around him.

Mouth pressing hard against yours he slipped his tongue inside while his thumb found your did again. Only mere seconds later you let out a high keen, cumming all over the pirates cock with him right behind you. Spilling his seed deep inside...

-------

Time past quickly after that night but Hongjoong seemingly had disappeared. It was a little disheartening if you were being honest. Something had changed for you. You were no longer just looking forward to have the pirate visit you but actively waiting for the man to open the door to the Inn and give you that cunning smile you had come to love.

That didn't happen. Hadn't you seen a glimpse of his mates around the market at times you would have thought the crew had already left town! However the captain stayed lost.

Your mood had dropped significantly since then and with it had your tolerance for bullshit from customers. Hyunjin had to cut in more times then you could count in just 4 days and you swore if you had to listen to one more scolding from him you swore you would lose it!

You weren't particularly eager to follow suit when both the chef and waiter had told you to go out, take some time off and then come back later the night.

And so you found yourself back at your favorite spot, looking at the moon glistening at the horizon and on the water of the sea. The cold air made you shiver, goosebumps rising on your skin.

The silence of the night cooling your frazzled mind significantly.

You inhaled deeply and a lonely tear ran down your face only to be whipped away and be scowled at.

"Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" you chanted quietly to yourself. There was no reason to cry! So what if you gave your virginity to a stranger and gotten attached! He was a man and no man was worth even one tear!

"So this is where ya spend ya time little dove? I have to admit, its a beautiful sight!"

You didn't dare turn to look at him, fingers plucking at the grass under you.

"How did you know where I am?" you grumbled. Hongjoong stepped closer and sat down beside you.

"You weren't at the Inn, I was worried so l asked the chatterbox behind the bar."

His words made you scoff in disbelief which made him raise an eyebrow at your cold behavior.

"Is my little do- “ With a dark glare you cut him off hoping that he could see it in the darkness.

"Don't call me that! I'm not yours!"

Hongjoong immediately sensed that you were far from happy to see him.

"No you're not..."

The silence you gave him was loud and deafening. You bit your lip to stop the words you wanted to say. You wanted to know where he had been! Whether he really just didn't care enough about you and if you really weren't more then a quick fuck do satisfy his needs!

None of those questions came out. Much to scared to be right with your thoughts. You stayed focused on the gentle waves crashing against the rocks below you until you felt his rough calloused hands reaching for your own. You dropped the grass in shock which the pirate used to link them together.

"Ya mad at me," he stated calmly. "And ya have every reason to. Just know that I had my reasons... There were issues... lets say issues..."

You looked at his face, considering him for a moment.

"It's fine Hongjoong. You don't have to explain. Like I said. I'm not yours and you're not mine. So it's none of my business."

The words tasted bitter in your mouth but once they were out something seemed to settle over you. It made you feel the loneliness  you had felt much stronger then before.

"Maybe, but I don't like that frown on ya face little dove. I like ya much better when ya smiling."

"Hongjoong..." you sighed in defeat and looked back at the sea, hoping that he would finally say what he had to say so you could be alone again.

 The pirate searched for words that could best describe how he felt.

"Little dove, I- " he got cut off.

The sudden screams coming from the town had both of you looking back. One of the houses was brightly lit up, flames reaching into the nightsky! The stench of burning wood was causing your nose to itch and a bad feeling settled in your gut. Getting up, letting go of the fingers still linked with yours, you squinted your eyes when realization set in.

You lurched forward, leaving Hongjoong startled before he hurried after you.

The distance between your home and your favorite hiding spot had never seemed so far like in this moment and you finally reached the lit a flame house your lungs to felt like they were set on fire! Hurriedly you turned your head left and right to see if you could find your father and brother but all you could see was the intoxicated old man, sat with some of the older women while the worried about him and the burns on his arms.

Hongjoong too had reached the scenery staying close behind you.

"Jungwon!" you whispered when you couldn't find him. Darting forward, planning to run inside and get the boy out yourself, you charged towards the door when you felt 2 arms wrapping themself around your middle. Effectively preventing you from coming close to it!

"JUNGWOON!!!!"

Hongjoongs heart broke at the audible desperation in your screams. He had to use all of his strength to be able to hold you back while you pleaded with him to let you go. Tears were running down your face like a waterfall.

"Ya can't go in there little dove! Ya'll die trying!" he whispered into your ear from behind and sobs were bubbling out from your throat in response. Fighting against his hold was just draining your energy, his grip wasn't loosening and you gave up. Your knees gave away and you had to watch the house you had grown up in, the house you had raised your brother in, slowly collapse under the immense heat of the fire!

A series of unintelligible whimpers left you and all Hongjoong could do was shush you, his arms tightening around your trembling for, wanting to make sure you knew he was there. That you weren't alone.

The sound of thunder rumbled through the night and rain started falling as a slight drizzle soaking your hair and dress. You let it happen. Not caring if you got wet you let the rain mix with the tears until Hongjoong tried to move you to at least search for cover somewhere close.

The rain got stronger, fighting and winning against the flames until all that was left were a few still smoking, blackened beams of wood that had held the house up. Debris was everywhere.

A blanket was wrapped around your shoulders by your neighbor and Hongjoong who maneuvered you so he could properly hold you. Tired and numb you let him do as he pleased, still staring at the steaming remains.

You could hear the neighbors woman talking and for a moment you even thought you recognized Hyunjins voice but it was like your head was surrounded by a fog that made it impossible for you to really hear what they were saying.

Only when the sun started to rise, rain still falling and dark clouds covering the sky, did you finally see the entire damage the fire had left in it's wake.

Hongjoong watched some of the bystanders carefully search through remains, swallowing harshly when he saw the heavily burned body of a child being pulled out. He didn't think he would be this effected but just through the short moments he had seen of you and your brother, he knew that the confirmation of his death would be devastating.

The pirate glanced at your father. He had stepped out of the house he had been taken to and looked remarkably sober. Still, something about him irked the pirate to no end! With heavy steps the man walked through the rain right to where you and him where sitting. It didn't seem like you realized he was there and judging by the empty expression on the old mans face, it didn't look like he was very sad about the tragedy in the first place! Alarm bells went of in Hongjoongs brain.

"So you weren't in there," he said rubbing the back of his neck. The voice of your fathers hocked you out of your trance, making your red eyes focus on him.

"Father I-"

"What a shame…”

With those words the man walked off. You swallowed harshly at his words and Hongjoong carefully watched your eyes harden.

"Don't listen to him," he gently instructed as he looked after the man. This was the first time he ever met him and still, he could feel himself developing a kind of hate for the man he rarely ever felt. "He's just a bitter old man!"

Sniffing and whipping at your face, you turned your head to stare at your burned home.

"Yeah, maybe..."

Another single tear left your eyes.

"Oh dear! You're still outside? Heaven's you children will catch a cold the way you're sitting in the rain! Come inside please!" Madame Delacroix fussed as she came running. The seamstress pulled you up from the ground, out of the pirates hold and towards her home where she had prepared tea and some dry clothes for you. Hongjoong followed silently.  He was sure that with the way Madame Delacroix cared for you were going to be okay for now.

He stayed in the background, choosing to watch instead of involving himself in the way the older women made you lay down and covered you with a blanket. Not long after I you were out like a light.

The seamstress signaled for him to take a seat. Hesitant he followed the instruction. The scrutinizing gaze she gave him made him a little uncomfortable yet he did not back down, nor did he avoid her eyes.

"Who are you?" she asked, eyebrow raised as if to warn him about lying.

Hongjoong thought. "Just a friend Madame."

"A friend huh?"

It was clear that she didn't believe him.

"Yes ma'am, a friend."

"Well then, friend. I hope you'll stick around, cause y/n seems to really like you. And with everything that happened tonight, the girl really could use someone who will be there for her. Are you going to be staying?"

His mind went back to his ship and the crew that was waiting for him at the docks so they could restart their journey and guilt settled inside of him like a chain wrapped around the ankle of a prisoner.

"Not for long." There was no use in lying to the women. It seemed like she already knew when he was going to before he even did!

She nodded.

"Does she know?"

No.

-------

When he came back much later then originally planned, his first mate was already waiting for him at the railing.

"Where were you?!"

Seonghwa scowled at the captain. His long black hair was neatly tied back and a few astray strands were framing his face gently. With his arms crossed in front of his chest he glared at Hongjoongs tired form while he joined him.

"Things went differently then expected..."he sighed, leaning against the wood of the ships railing.

The black haired mans face softened a little. "What do you mean? We thought you wanted to say goodbye? Did she not want you to?"

Hongjoong ran his hand over his face in an attempt to rub the incoming headache away.

"Ya saw the flames I'm guessing?"

"It was hard not to see them."

"Hmm, it was her house..."

That left Seonghwa speechless. He gaped at the smaller man. "Ohhh."

"Yeah, ohhh. Her brother didn't survive and don't get me started on the father! He looked like he wished she was in there too!" he spat. "Ya should have heard him talk Hwa !"

"Judging by your face, I'd rather not." There was a moment where they just looked at each other before Seonghwa let out along sigh.

“I'll tell the others that we're staying until tomorrow, you make sure you're getting some rest and then take care of your girl!" with that the man was gone and Hongjoong left alone! A happy shriek could be heard not long after from somewhere on deck.

"She ain't ma girl!" Hongjoong grumbled to himself and looked down at the water slosh against his ship.

But the little voice in the back of his head immediately started taunting him.

Are ya sure? Or are ya just a coward huh? Ya know that if ya could, ya would just take her and sail away with her!

Would he? He would lie if he said that he didn't come to like your company and while having been running from a few pissed officials for the last few days after your shared moments against the Inn's bar, he had worried about you more then he would like to admit! You truly had bewitched him in a sense after just a few days spend together!

So yes, the annoying voice was right even if not entirely! He did want to spend more time with you, if only to get to know you better and the little flutter his heart did at the mere thought of your bright eyed smile was a sure sign that the voice was onto something.

Exhausted he stood upright and carried himself to his quarters. He threw his boots somewhere to the side, shrugged the damp jacket and shirt off, leaving his chest bare in sthis trousers and fell face first into his bed. He groaned, his mind plagued by the desperate screams of you while you fought to reach your brother.

Debating on what he should do now as he didn't want to leave you behind with a man that, to him at least, couldn't care less for you, yet he knew that the crew couldn't stay much longer without rising suspicions of who they truly were. He also couldn't just offer to take you with them, at least not without a lengthy discussion with the boys!

And there was no way of actually knowing if you even wanted to leave! This was after all where you had grown up.

Hongjoong closed his eyes and  there wasn't anything he could do to will away the mental picture of you, sleeping by his side in this very bed. Waking up together, cuddles and kisses and being able to fuc- NO!

He couldn't let his mind wander there or else he might do something drastic!

Frustration settled in his bones. Why was this happening to him?

-------

Shivering you opened your eyes to the smell of chamomile and stew. It was a weird combination but your stomach responded with a demanding growl.

A sneeze forced itself out; almost causing Madam Delacroix to drop the wooden spoon she was stirring the stew with. The woman cursed and whirled around, spoon raised as if to throw it any possible attacker only to come face to face with you propped upon her bed.

Your head hurt from all the crying and possibly having caught a cold. You also could feel your throat hurting due to the smoke you had inhaled.

"You're awake! Finally, I was already worried since you slept half the day away without even turning around once. I guess you truly were exhausted from last night…” The caring tone with which she spoke almost let the tears return.

"Jungwon, is he- “ you croaked out. Madam Delacroix stepped closer and sat down at your side.

"I'm sorry dear, they found his body this morning. He-“

You held up your hand to cut her off. You didn't want to know how they found him, if he was burned or not, that wasn't how you wanted to remember the bright little boy.

"And my father? I saw him earlier, so where is he now?"

“Maybe at the Inn, I’m not sure.”

“Oh.. okay, thank you.”

There were no tears left to cry just as there was nothing left for you to hold close. With Jungwon gone, you didn’t feel like you had any reason to return to your father. The man had already made it clear what he thought.

You were alone, alone in a world that had never been kind to you or wanted to see you strive in any way possible. The only one who you considered even remotely close, was Hongjoong.

Hongjoong had had not left your side until he was sure that you were taken care of. Why had he done it? He had no reason to do such thing.

A pirate captain who stopped in your town to make sure they stoked up on supplies, planning to leave sooner rather then later.

Who surely had not planned to stay stay for a woman he had met only a few years ago.

Why your even wanted him to consider that was beyond you but to think that the pirate sailing awy soon, broke what little of your shattered heart had remained in tact.

“Do you know what you’re going to do now? Going back to your father doesn’t seem like the smartest thing, dear.” Madame Delacroix hummed out as she took your hand, thumb grazing softly over the skin there.

All you could do was shake your head.

“I don’t want that, but I also don’t have much of a choice, do i?”

The old woman looked deeply into your eyes, wanting to make you understand what she was going to say next.

“You always have a choice! It’s going to be hard and people may judge you, but you can always choose to leave… You can leave this town, start somewhere else. Find a new home or sail away if you really want to. It is YOUR choice.”

“Where would I even go?” you cried prompting the other to take your face into her hands.

“Whereever you want to. Listen to your heart, listen to what it calls for. Who it calls for.”

Who it-

A knock on the door broke the moment and Madame Delacroix let up to go open it.

“Well hello there, friend! What brings you back so soon?”

Hongjoong awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he stepped inside the tiny living space. His eyes found yours.

“Ya are awake, how ya feeling little dove?”

The knowing side glance of Madame Delacroix went skillfully ignored by the man stepping closer, only to fall onto his knees in front of you.

“I’m… alone… Jungwon, he… he…” you whimpered almost to silent for him to hear.

“Ya aren’t alone, my little dove. Ya got me. ‘nd I ain’t plannin on-“ he tried to calm you down as best as he could. His rough calloused hands taking yours.

“You’re going to leave! Hongjoong you’re going to leave with your crew and then I’ll be alone. For real this time. Without Jungwon my life will be nothing. I don’t know anything else beside the Inn and taking care of Wonnie and I’m not going back. I’m not- I can’t-“

“Don’t ya say that. Ya won’t have to go there and ya won’t be alone. I-“ Hongjoong rushed to say, the brown in his eyes looked almost black in the light of the room. “I will come back… someday.”

The words tasted bitter on his tongue. Sounding like a lie to his own ears. Soemthing he didn’t want them to be. However he knew that the chance of the coming back was slim, almost non existend. So yes, they were a lie.

A thought struck him as he watched your eyes water, yet no tears fell. He knew Seonghwa and the crew would call him crazy for it but it only seemed logic for him.

You didn’t want to stay with that shit face that was your father. A mother that had died long ago and the lose of the boy you had raised, nothing was left that you could say you wanted to stay with.

“Come with me! Join our crew and-“

“And what then? I’m not a sailor. I’m not a pir- you know what! As much as I love the sea, I couldn’t…”

You looked at Madame Delacroix over Hongjoongs head. Watching as the older woman tapped her chest right where her heart was beating.

Nausea made your stomach roll, almost letting the tea you had a while ago come back up.

“I’m sorry Hongjoong.”

 Disappointed his hopeful expression fell. Hurt that you didn't even seem to consider it an option to leave with him, that you didn't consider HIM an option in this tragic turn of your life, the man nodded shortly. "Don't apologize little dove."

He let go of your hands. Immediately you missed the warm feeling of his skin on your own and the smallest wave of panic hit when you realized that he was trying to get up. Trying to put some distance between you and him.

It made your heart clench. His crest fallen face breaking it all over again. Reaching out to him hoping he would come back only to lower it again when Hongjoong avoided your eyes to instead look at Madame Delacroix who had busied herself in her little kitchen to not appear like she was listening to your conversation. She absolutely was. She also had the urge to smack some very stubborn youngsters!

"The Aurora will set sails as soon as the sun rises in the morning!" Hongjoong announced, his jaw sat with his chest puffing out to appear taller. "I came to say farewell."

"Hongjoong- "

His brown orbs fell back on you.

"It was ma pleasure to have met ya, little dove. Wherever ya are gonna fly, I hope the winds treat ya well."

Madame Delacroix stepped closer with a towel to dry her wet hands. A soft yet smile grazed her lips.

"Good luck boy, and take care of yourself. I promise I will look after your girl..."

The woman winked at Hongjoong who gave you one last glance. "Goodbye…” before he was out the door.

No, no, no! This couldn't be! He couldn't leave you just like that! Not now and not yet! When you had said he was going to leave, you had meant in a few days. Not the next morning! The sky outside was already dark, indicating that it was nighttime again. You felt like someone had emptied a bucket of Ice cold water above your head as realization set in.

Hongjoong had given you an out, one that you were to scared to take. You were overwhelmed with all the changes in such short time and your breathing started to pick up. Fighting against the fabric still wrapped around your legs and body, you hurried to get up and follow the man that threatened to leave your life again after he had shaken up your world in the matters of days. It seemed silly to be so attached after such short time but it didn't matter to you.

Never in your life had you felt as cared for and appreciated as when you were around him and that scared you.

Almost face planting in the process, you cried out. A loud sob sending you into a coughing fit cut through the silence of the house and it was only when the gentle hands of the seamstress helped you up and out of your prison fabric that you managed to focus your blurry vision on something else then the door that Hongjoong had just walked out of.

"Shhh, girl. It's okay, you're going to be okay, but you gotta breath for me. Do you hear me? You have to breath with me!" She took a shaky hand to lay it on her steadily rising and falling chest, forcing you to follow along.

"No he- he can- can't leave! Please I-“ you stuttered through the heaves to get air back into your lungs.

"I understand, but first you have to calm down. Breath and then we will figure this out." Her words were spoken softly but you heard her clear enough. Breathing became easier again, yet the scratching of your throat remained even as you stopped hyperventilating.

"That's right, just like that." She soothed and helped you of the ground to lead you to the kitchen table where she had prepared a bowl filled with broth and some bread to get some strength back.

"You really got yourself into situation there, hmm?"

You chocked out an agreement, staring down at the food but not touching it. "Yeah"

"So what will you do? There is not a lot of time to choose anymore, and judging by what I have seen so far, your heart almost screams for this pirate."

Of course she knew, you weren't even surprised. Old as she might be, Madam Delacroix was attentive to everything going on in this town.

"Listen to what it tells you y/n. Don't let yourself regret not doing it."

"I told him no just now, why would he still want me by his side?" You whispered defeated. The fight having left you completely and Madam Delacroix tsked at the pathetic sight you were right now. Having known you since you were barely old enough to walk, having seen the confident woman you had grown to be, she couldn't understand how you had let yourself get this lost in your insecurities.

"That man was very much ready to fight his crew in offering you a place on his ship, girl. Women are nothing sailors usually want as they think that a woman only brings bad luck once they set foot on board. He will be glad that you changed your mind. It's up to you now to do so, so what will it be?"

Silence overcame the room and time seemed to stand still.

“I don’t want to stay, not now and never again…”

“Then I think you have your answer.”

The chair screeched as it’s legs scratched over the flooring; clattering to the ground in the process with how abrupt you jumped to stand.

“I-“

Madame Delacroix held out a shoulder cloth she hadn’t used in years. “Go!” she urged just as the first rays of the sun appeared in the distance behind the horizon. Watching as you rushed out and knowing that it was unlikely she would ever see you again…

----------

Running through the empty village, you almost tripped over your own feet multiple times. Just like always, there was mostly no one to be see as you raced through the streets. You passed by the Inn, Jinyoung snoring loudly in front of the closed door with 1 or 2 chickens clacking softly and even picking at his hair. Had the situation you had found yourself in not been so serious, you probably would have laughed out loud at the sight.

The docks weren’t that far, yet it felt like you were running for ages when you finally reached the first ships.

With the Sun rising slowly over the water , it made it easy to spot the ship Hongjoong and his crew had arrived in only mere days ago. It was the only ship that was bustling with life; many faces you didn’t recognize and only a hand full you did through their visits at the Inn. Gasping for air and with your lungs threatening to give out you hurried up the gangway.

“y/n? What are you doing here? You cant be here, we-“

“Wooyoung please… where is Hongjoong?” you cut the rambling pirate off, coughing.

“He— I-“ The dark haired man stammered out.

“Follow me.”

You looked to where the voice had come from, recognizing another face from the first night you had met part of the crew.

The man didn’t wait for you and so you had to hurry after him, still trying to catch your breath. You could feel your airways protesting at the harsh breathing but that didn’t matter as you  did as you were told.

His knuckles rapped against the hard surface of the wooden door you guessed was the Captains quarter. Your heart was racing, pleading for this to not have been a mistake.

“Fuck off, Hwa!” The captains voice sounded rough through the door, angry at having been disturbed.

Hwa, you guessed, looked at you and nodded towards the door.

“Go on. He might sound annoyed but don’t let that scare you away.”

He left right after. Leaving you standing there to figure out what to do. This time you knocked, softer then the pirate that had left you by yourself, yet it didn’t seem to change the outcome.

Hongjoong only roared in anger and only when you heard a crash from inside did you get brave enough to throw the door open.

With wide eyes and his hair sticking up, he looked almost murderous as he swiveled around and glared at the door. Gaze softening upon realizing that you were in fact not his crew mate.

Closing his mouth that had stood open and gaping at you like a fish on land you both stared at the other before Hongjoong barreled forward, his hands suddenly cupping your face his lips pressed to yours in a hard, desperate kiss. Your fingers found the back of his head, running through the hair that was pulled up into his usual braided hair; seeking the warmth of his body while your tongues danced a passionate dance that was equally devastated and reassuring until you had to come back up for air.

“Take me with you!” you chocked out, a lonely tear falling down your face as Hongjoongs nose softly nudged against yours in a feathery touch. With his thumb brushing the salty liquid away, you waited, fearing what his answer might be.

“I’ll take ya anywhere ya want to!” He promised with another press to your mouth.

----------

Neither you nor Hongjoong knew where the winds would take you, but you both knew what ever would come your way, you would handle it.

Together.

[a-tiny-thing]

Cry For Me

Pairing: DomCEO!Hongjoong x SubSecretary!Reader

Genre: Smut 18+, slight angst, PWP, Office!AU

Notes: Cheating (don’t do it yall. this is just fiction), Unprotected sex (wrap it up!!! do not try this irl, it is pure fantasy!), explicit language, dacryphilia kink, humiliation, degrading, power fixation, Hongjoong lowkey manipulates (but for the better ig lol)

Word Count: 13k (condensed some ideas to bring down the word count LOL)

Authors note: This is pure horny imagination and in NO WAY, reflects on the characters in real life! If you do not like this type of content pls ignore or block me.

As you stepped into your apartment, the night sky cast a deep blue glow through the windows, shimmering like a vast ocean. The warm glow of the sensor lights flickered on, illuminating the entryway and casting soft shadows on the walls. You paused for a moment, a frustrated sigh escaping your lips, echoing in the stillness of the room.

It was the fifth time this month that your boyfriend had canceled on you, and each time felt like another nail in the coffin of what once seemed like a blossoming romance. The disappointment settled heavily in your chest, making each step toward the kitchen feel more burdensome than the last.

With a determined resolve, you made your way to the fridge, the familiar chill greeting you as you opened the door. Your fingers closed around a half-filled bottle of wine, the label slightly crumpled from the many times it had been hastily put back. You pulled it out, and reached for a glass. You stare blankly as you poured the wine, watching as the dark liquid rose to the rim, glistening in the soft light. Without hesitation, you brought it to your lips, taking a few deep gulps, each swallow both comforting and numbing. As the warmth spread through you, tears began to prick at the corners of your eyes, a familiar sensation that you had tried so hard to push away.

The memories of the past 2 years flooded back—Siwoo’s laughter, the shared moments that now felt like distant echoes. But lately, he had become a stranger, his warmth replaced by an impenetrable distance. You had tried to reach out, to bridge the growing gap, but each time ended in disappointment. Now, standing in your quiet apartment, you felt a profound sense of loss that had settled deep within you, leaving you feeling numb, as if you were merely going through the motions of life without truly living it.

You quickly wiped your tears away, the salty tracks on your cheeks feeling foreign yet familiar. With each brush of your fingers, the sadness that had threatened to overwhelm you twisted into something sharper—anger.

*Ding.*

The sudden sound pulled your attention away from your thoughts. You turned your head toward your phone, its screen lighting up with a notification. The sight of Siwoo's name, accompanied by a little heart, made your heart sink further.

Siwoo <3: I’m sorry I cancelled again. Please don’t hate me. I’ll see you on your lunch tomorrow.

You stared at the message, the words blurring momentarily as your vision wavered. Another empty promise. With a shaky hand, you raised your glass to your lips, the bitter taste of the wine filling your mouth as you took another long gulp. It was a poor substitute for the warmth you once felt from Siwoo's presence.

You couldn't bring yourself to respond—not now. You needed a few moments to gather your swirling emotions, to avoid lashing out with the hurt and anger that simmered just beneath the surface. The silence of the apartment enveloped you, amplifying your racing thoughts and making the weight of his message all the more suffocating.

Once you finished the rest of the wine bottle, you felt the tension in your shoulders ease just a fraction. You turned away from your phone, not wanting to see another message or another reminder of the chasm that seemed to grow between you. With heavy steps, you made your way to the bedroom.

You plopped down onto the bed, the soft sheets cradling you in their embrace. As your body sank into the mattress, fatigue overtook you, pulling you into a deep slumber. In the quiet darkness, you hoped for dreams that could somehow soothe the ache in your heart, if only for a little while.

———

The next day dawned with a muted light filtering through the curtains, the world outside still waking up. You rolled over, disoriented for a moment, before the reality of the day ahead crashed over you. With a groan, you pushed yourself up, the remnants of last night’s indulgence weighing heavily in your mind.

As you shuffled to the bathroom, the headache from downing that last glass of wine throbbed at your temples, a persistent reminder of your restless night. You cursed under your breath, regretting the decision to finish the bottle in a moment of vulnerability.

You quickly went through the motions of your morning routine. Your job as the secretary for one of the most well-known CEOs in the Creative Arts Institution required precision and poise, a stark contrast to the emotional turmoil that had kept you up late. You dressed in a tailored blouse and a pencil skirt, the fabric smoothing against your skin as you adjusted the collar. The mirror reflected a professional exterior, yet you felt anything but composed inside.

After applying a touch of makeup to mask the fatigue in your eyes, you gathered your things—laptop, planner, and the ever-essential cup of coffee that awaited you in the kitchen.

———

As you step into the tall building, the morning sun filters through the glass façade, casting geometric shadows across the polished marble lobby. The familiar bustle of your colleagues greets you, their voices merging with the gentle hum of fluorescent lights. You nod and smile as you greet in response. You make your way to the elevator, its silver doors glinting in the light. Pressing the button for the top floor, you mentally prepare for the day ahead, trying not to show your exhausted emotions, mentally and physically. When the doors slide open, you step into the expansive hallway lined with art. At the end of the corridor, you enter the grand office door. You walk to the enormous desk adorned with a gold plaque that reads “CEO Kim Hongjoong” and set down the iced Americano you picked up on your way in. You reach into your tote bag and retrieve a neatly organized file folder. Flipping it open, you scan through today’s itinerary, noting the key meetings and tasks that lie ahead. Once satisfied with your briefing, you close the folder and return it to your bag. You head to the front desk positioned just outside the CEO's office, and begin your morning tasks. Every day in the office has settled into a rhythm, a familiar routine that feels almost automatic.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim!” “Hello, Mr. Kim!” The greetings echo as your colleagues bow slightly, their respect palpable.

You rise from your chair, straightening your blouse, and offer a nonchalant nod, masking the exhaustion lingering just beneath the surface.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim,” you say as you bow, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Hongjoong approaches, his expression warm yet focused.

“Hello, Y/N. Have you prepared everything for today’s schedule?” he asks, moving past you toward his office.

“Yes, you have a meeting in an hour with a client…” you begin to relay the itinerary, following him inside. He settles into his chair, taking a sip of the Americano and nods in response.

“Also, I dealt with the complaints from the last exhibition. Everything’s been taken care of, just like you wanted,” you add, your tone casual, though the weight of your own issues tugs at your thoughts. Hongjoong looks up, a smile breaking across his face.

“That’s why I have you as my secretary, Miss Y/N. Thank you so much.”

You nod, the compliment momentarily brightening your mood, but it’s fleeting. You bow again before slipping out of the office. As the door closes behind you, you take a deep breath, pushing the worries from your relationship to the back of your mind, ready to tackle the day ahead with practiced indifference.

Throughout the morning, you flit in and out of meetings, accompanying Hongjoong as he navigates a flurry of tasks. The office is a hive of activity, and you move seamlessly between conversations, taking notes and organizing files, but the weight of your personal life hangs heavy in the back of your mind.

You glance at the clock on your desk: just thirty minutes until your hour break. A sigh escapes your lips, and you reach for your phone, hesitating. Siwoo’s message sits unread, a lingering question mark in your thoughts. You know you should respond, but the uncertainty of his invitation makes you hesitate. Is it pettiness that keeps you from reaching out, or a defense mechanism to shield your heart from further pain? You shake off the intrusive thoughts, forcing yourself to focus on the tasks at hand.

*Ding.* Your phone buzzes, drawing your attention. It’s another message from Siwoo.

Siwoo <3: I won’t be able to make it today. Something came up at work. Sorry.

You scoff under your breath, a bitter taste filling your mouth. His absence stings, but you’ve braced yourself for this—after all, it’s become a pattern.

Just then, Hongjoong’s voice crackles through the telephone intercom on your desk, interrupting your spiraling thoughts. “Miss Y/N, please come to my office.”

“Yes, sir,” you reply, rising from your seat with a practiced smile as you make your way into his office.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Kim?” you ask, your tone polite, carefully masking the frustration beneath the surface from Siwoo’s message.

Hongjoong leans back in his chair, his expression serious.

“I know you have your hour break in twenty minutes, but I just got off the phone with a potential client. They want to meet over lunch in a few minutes, and I need you to tag along to take notes. If you can wait on your break for another hour, I’ll cover your meal if you accompany me now.”

His words feel more like an instruction than a request, and you nod in response, pushing your personal frustrations aside.

“Of course, sir. Shall I call the chauffeur now?”

“No need,” he replies, grabbing his briefcase. “We’ll take my vehicle. I’ll drive.”

You nod and follow Hongjoong out of the building.

You settled into the passenger seat next to Hongjoong, the sleek interior of the car enveloping you. The rhythmic clicking of the turn signal punctuated the silence, while the soft murmur of the news on the radio served as a gentle backdrop.

“Miss Y/N, is everything alright?” Hongjoong's voice cut through the quiet, steady and attentive. You turned to him, slightly taken aback by his directness.

“Y-Yes, sir. What makes you concerned?” you replied, a hint of surprise coloring your voice. His eyes remained fixed on the road, focused yet perceptive.

“My top employee—my secretary—has been unusually quiet lately. You seem a bit off,” he remarked, expertly navigating the car into a parking lot. His concern was genuine, and you felt a flutter of warmth at his attention.

“I apologize if I gave that impression today, sir. I assure you, I’m alright,” you replied, straightening in your seat, trying to project confidence. Hongjoong parked the car and turned to face you, his expression serious.

“Y/N, I’m not just talking about today. You’ve been like this for a few days now. I don’t want to pry, but if something is bothering you, please let me know. You never slack off—well, not that I’ve noticed—but you’re a vital part of our team. If you’re not at your best, it affects us all, especially me. Let’s tackle any issues together, professionally.” His words carried a weight of understanding that took you by surprise.

You hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal.

“I… I apologize, sir. It’s just some personal issues in my relationship. I promise I won’t let it interfere with my work,” you said softly, your gaze dropping to your hands in your lap. You feared that honesty might blur the lines of your professional relationship.

Hongjoong regarded you with a thoughtful expression, his brow slightly furrowing. “Problems in your relationship?” he asked gently. You nodded, keeping your head bowed.

“Yes. I appreciate you asking,” you replied, feeling a rush of gratitude mixed with apprehension.

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” he said, his tone shifting back to his usual professional demeanor. “Let’s get to work.”

The next hour unfolded at a high-end restaurant, its luxurious ambiance creating the perfect setting for a business meeting. You sat next to Hongjoong, across from two potential clients, the atmosphere charged with opportunity. As they discussed plans for an upcoming exhibition, you diligently took notes, your mind sharpening as you transitioned into your role.

Hongjoong exuded charisma, ordering champagne and an array of exquisite appetizers while skillfully guiding the conversation. You admired the way he balanced authority with approachability, creating an atmosphere of collaboration.

———

As promised, Hongjoong granted you your hour break once you both returned to the office. The day had been packed with meetings and conversations, but you had already eaten at the restaurant, so instead of lingering in the bustling atmosphere of the office, you decided to find solace on the rooftop.

Ascending to the rooftop, you pushed open the heavy door, the cool air hitting your face like a refreshing wave. You walked over to one of the bistro tables, the metal surface gleaming under the midday sun. You sank into one of the chairs, letting out a deep sigh that released the pent-up stress from the morning. In your left hand, you cradled an iced Americano to keep you alert. In your right, you held your phone, its screen illuminating your face as you contemplated the text messages from Siwoo.

He should be off work by now, you thought, scrolling through the thread of messages. You hesitated, biting your lip, unsure of how to approach him. The uncertainty had lingered in your mind for days, and it felt like a weight on your chest. After a moment’s deliberation, you resolved to take initiative and give him a call.

You tapped his name, and set the phone on speaker. As the phone rang, the sound echoed in the serene space around you. It rang for what felt like an eternity until finally, you heard his voice on the other end, slightly breathless.

“H-hello? Y/N?” Siwoo stuttered, his tone hesitant.

“Siwoo, what are you doing?” you asked, trying to sound calm, though your heart raced with anticipation.

“Mmm, n-nothing much, just working out. I-I went to the gym after work,” he replied, punctuating his words with a grunt that surprised you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Since when did he ever work out?

You decided to push forward, hoping to reconnect. “Do you want to come over tonight? I’ll make dinner,” you offered, softening your voice as if trying to coax him back into your world.

“A-ahh, probably not tonight. I have to finish some work at h-home,” he stuttered again, his voice strained, as though he were struggling for breath.

Disappointment settled in your stomach, but you pressed on. “I can come over then, yeah? I’ll make you your favorite dish?” You mentally kicked yourself for even suggesting it, a flicker of doubt reminding you of all the times he had flaked out before.

“N-no, Y/N. I-It’s okay. A-ahh!” Siwoo grunted loudly, and a chill ran through you at the sound.

“Siwoo, what’s going on?!” You raised your voice slightly, urgency creeping in.

“I told you, Y/N. I’m working out. We can’t see each other tonight; I’m busy. I have to go,” he snapped, the finality in his tone cutting through the air like a knife. The line went dead, leaving you with only the echo of his voice. Your heart sank, a familiar ache running within you.

You stared at the phone in disbelief, the cool metal suddenly feeling heavy in your hand. How could he do this again? A mix of frustration and sadness swirled in your chest, and you felt a lump form in your throat. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but it did little to quell the rising tide of emotions.

——

You glance at the small digits on your screen, the glowing numbers reading 8:00 PM. Your shift officially ended thirty minutes ago, but here you sat, a blend of dedication and denial keeping you tethered to your desk. Guilt washed over you, a stark reminder of Hongjoong’s earlier words. There was no point in heading home, not when the weight of unfinished tasks bore down on you. The quiet of your apartment would only invite sorrow, while the office, though nearly deserted, offered a comforting distraction.

The atmosphere had shifted; the energy of the day had given way to silence as colleagues trickled out, exchanging soft goodbyes. Each farewell came with a gentle reminder not to work too hard, and you managed a smile, masking the turmoil brewing inside you. Once they departed, you returned your focus to the glowing screen, rifling through files and diligently noting necessary information, your fingers a blur over the keyboard.

A flicker of light caught your eye—a warm streaming light from Hongjoong’s office. You raised an eyebrow in curiosity; you’d assumed he had left an hour ago. Shaking off the thoughts that threatened to wander, you turned back to your work.

“Y/N?” Hongjoong’s voice broke through your concentration. You looked up at him through your rectangular glasses that rested on your face. He cut an impressive figure, dressed in a fitted black dress shirt and a black vest that accentuated his shoulders.(What the fuck Y/N; he’s your boss.) You mentally scolded yourself, attempting to dismiss any inappropriate thoughts.

“O-Oh, yes sir?” you replied, setting your pen down on the desk.

“Your shift ended an hour ago. Why are you still here?” His brow arched in genuine curiosity, his tone both commanding and concerned.

“I’m just catching up on some work, sir. I apologize. I’ll be heading home soon,” you replied, striving for composure even as nerves danced in your stomach.

“Y/N, come to my office,” he said, his calm demeanor masking the authority in his request. You hesitated, uncertainty creeping in. Why did he want to speak in private, especially when the office was nearly empty?

Despite your reservations, you take off your glasses frames, place them on your desk and follow him into his office. The door clicking shut behind you, a sound that felt like a declaration. The dim light cast long shadows, enveloping the room. He sits at the edge of his desk with his arms crossed.

“What’s going on in your relationship?” Hongjoong asked, his tone direct yet oddly informal. The question hung in the air, leaving you momentarily stunned. Your eyes widened, and you felt a flush creeping up your neck.

“Sir, I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about personal matters at work…” you managed to reply, your fingers fidgeting nervously as you avoided his gaze.

“It’s after work hours, Y/N. You can speak comfortably,” he said, his voice calm and soothing, yet imbued with a sharpness that conveyed he was not one to be easily dismissed. “I can tell something is wrong.”

You hesitated, the weight of his gaze making it difficult to formulate a response. A swirl of emotions crashed over you—fear of crossing professional boundaries mixed with the realization that perhaps he genuinely wanted to connect with you on a deeper level. Colleagues had often joked about how you and Hongjoong were like a married couple at work, a notion you had always brushed aside. The title felt cliché, almost childish, and you had preferred to maintain a strictly professional atmosphere.

But as you looked at him, a flicker of understanding passed between you. Maybe he wasn’t just playing the role of the CEO tonight. Perhaps he truly wanted to understand what you were going through. You took a deep breath, your heart racing as you considered opening up.

“We have… just been distant lately,” you say hesitantly, the words slipping out with reluctance. “Our schedules don’t seem to be aligning, and our communication is off. That is all, sir.” You glance at him, searching for a response.

He hums thoughtfully, nodding in acknowledgment. “Shall I… cut your hours? Maybe find a second secretary to fill in while you get to spend more time with your significant other?” His voice carried a teasing lilt, yet there was an undercurrent of seriousness that sent a rush of heat to your cheeks.

“N-no, sir!” The words escaped your lips almost too hastily, an instinctive reaction that made you feel slightly embarrassed. Hongjoong chuckled, his head lowering momentarily before he lifted it again, locking eyes with you.

“So, is it his schedule that’s not cooperating with yours?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You nodded in silence, the weight of your emotions pressing down as you considered the truth behind your answer.

“Mm… interesting.” Hongjoong tapped his chin thoughtfully, the wheels of his mind clearly turning. Curiosity prickled at you; what was going through his head? You couldn’t help but wonder about the direction this conversation was taking.

“Y/N, if you don’t mind me asking, what does your partner do for a living?” he asked, his tone calm and inviting.

“He’s a professor at the university located downtown,” you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper, as if sharing a secret.

“A professor?” Hongjoong mused, a hint of skepticism coloring his tone. “I doubt their schedules are that busy compared to yours—a full-time secretary for a well-known company.” He dropped his hands into his pockets, his gaze intent and probing.

“Are you sure you should be concerned about his schedule? Maybe… it’s something more?” Hongjoong added nonchalantly, his casual demeanor contrasting sharply with the seriousness of his implication.

You felt a wave of confusion wash over you. What was he suggesting? Your mind raced, trying to decipher his words. Was he implying that the distance in your relationship could be rooted in something deeper than just busy schedules? The thought unsettled you, but a part of you was intrigued by his concern. You hesitated, caught in a web of uncertainty as you considered how to respond.

“I—I’m not sure what you mean, sir…” you murmured, your gaze dropping to your black heels, the polished tips reflecting the dim light of the office.

“Come here, Y/N,” Hongjoong said, his voice a blend of softness and authority that sent a shiver down your spine. Almost instinctively, you found your feet moving toward him, the rhythmic click of your pumps echoing softly against the floor as you approached. You stopped just in front of his black loafers, your heart racing in your chest.

“Closer,” he instructed, his voice lowering, deepening with an intensity that made you catch your breath. You stepped forward, positioning yourself between his slightly parted legs, the air thick with unspoken tension.

His hand reached out, a gentle yet firm grasp settling on your waist. You gasped in shock, the unexpected warmth of his touch flooding through you. This is wrong, you thought, panic stirring within, but something deeper held you in place, a pull that made it difficult to consider pulling away. Instead, you stood there, caught in a moment that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

“Maybe…” Hongjoong began, his thumb rubbing softly against the fabric of your blouse, the gentle motion both soothing and unsettling.

“your partner is being unfaithful…?” The words hung heavy in the air, a sentence that felt like a blade slicing through your gut.

A part of you recoiled at the thought, refusing to believe it. Yet, as you stood there, something nagged at you, a whisper of doubt that you couldn’t shake. The realization that he might be right crept in like a shadow, darkening your thoughts. Stupidly, your heart leaped to defend Siwoo, the man you cared for, even as uncertainty gnawed at you.

“Mr. Kim, I don’t appreciate you assuming that,” you replied quietly, your voice barely above a whisper as you stared between the gap of Hongjoong’s legs that revealed the floor, refusing to meet his gaze.

“You don’t know our relationship, so please do not accuse him of such acts…” you added, your tone a fragile mixture of firmness and vulnerability. As the words left your lips, you felt your eyes begin to well with tears, confusion and anger swirling within you. You trusted Siwoo; you had to. But the doubts Hongjoong had planted took root, and you didn’t understand why he was suddenly acting like this.

You wanted to leave, to escape the charged atmosphere and the unsettling intimacy of the moment, but your feet remained stuck to the floor. Deep down, beneath the rising tide of panic, you recognized that you craved the odd comfort Hongjoong provided, a warmth that felt so different from the turmoil in your heart.

Suddenly, a whimper escaped your lips, a sound that surprised you as tears began to cascade down your cheeks, dropping onto Hongjoong’s lap.

“Oh, baby…” Hongjoong cooed, his voice laced with a tenderness. You gasped at the sudden pet name. With a gentle yet deliberate movement, his unoccupied hand reached toward your face, lifting your chin slightly so that he could wipe away the tears that streamed relentlessly down. Your eyes however, still refusing to look at him. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver through you, and your heart raced at the intimacy of the moment.

“You defend him, yet you’re crying,” he observed, his voice low and soothing, but his words only added to the turmoil within you. It was as if he could see right through the facade you had tried to maintain. As his hand, previously resting on your waist, moved to the other side of your face, you felt the weight of his palms cupping your cheeks, an act of reassurance that both calmed and stirred your emotions.

“Look at me, Y/N” Hongjoong softly demands. Your pretty eyes look at him. Sparkling from the tears that are still streaming down your face slowly. Hongjoong bit his lip, fighting to maintain his composure, though he couldn’t help but think how fucken pretty you look when you cried… how vulnerable.

“I’m sorry for assuming,” he continued, his tone tender yet firm. “It was unprofessional of me. I was just trying to express my concerns.” His fingers brushed against your skin as he gently cupped your face, his thumbs softly stroking away the remnants of your tears. “I don’t want to see you cry anymore, okay?”

Confusion swirled within you, a mix of gratitude and uncertainty. What was Hongjoong doing? His touch sent conflicting signals through your mind, making it hard to decipher the intentions behind his kindness. You felt your heart race as he held your gaze, searching for answers that remained elusive.

“Let me take you home. It’s getting late.” He reluctantly withdrew his hands, the warmth of his touch lingering on your skin. Hongjoong lightly tapped your waist,

“Okay?” he asked again, his voice softening as he sought your approval. You nodded, your heart fluttering as you looked into his eyes, those doe-like orbs filled with an innocence that belied the complexities of your situation. The air between you was thick with unspoken words, each moment stretching out as you found solace in his presence, even amidst the confusion.

———

The car glided smoothly along the quiet streets, the only sounds breaking the stillness were the gentle notes floating from the radio and the rhythmic tapping of Hongjoong’s fingers on the steering wheel. Each beat resonated with the unspoken tension lingering between you, a subtle backdrop to the whirlwind of thoughts spinning in your mind.

As the car pulled up in front of your apartment building, you felt a mix of relief and reluctance. The evening air was cool against your skin as you unbuckled your seatbelt and gathered your bags, the weight of the day still heavy on your shoulders.

“Thank you for the ride, Mr. Kim,” you said, bowing your head slightly, unable to meet his gaze. It was a gesture of politeness, but it felt more like a shield, protecting you from the warmth of his soft smile that you could sense even without looking.

“No worries, Miss Y/N. I’ll see you Monday,” he replied, his voice soft but filled with an unshakeable confidence. You heard the warmth in his tone, even as you turned away and walked towards the entrance of your apartment building, his farewell echoing in your ears.

The elevator ride felt interminable as you ascended to your floor, each ding of the buttons amplifying the heaviness in your chest. Finally, you stepped into your small apartment, the familiar space offering little comfort. You dragged your feet toward your room, exhaustion pulling you down, both physically and emotionally.

Once inside, you kicked off your heels, the sharp clack against the floor a welcome relief. You stripped off your clothes with a mindless haste, leaving only your undergarments as you collapsed onto your bed. The cool sheets enveloped you, but they couldn’t ease the confusion swirling in your thoughts.

With a deep, resigned sigh, you sank into the mattress, your mind replaying fragments of your conversation with Hongjoong.

In a moment of desperation, you reached for your phone, dialing Siwoo’s number. The ringing felt like an eternity, and when it went to voicemail, a knot tightened in your stomach. You glanced at the clock—10 PM. Another attempt led to the same unyielding voicemail. Frustration filled within you, mixing with a pang of anxiety that settled in your chest.

You closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing. The coolness of the room contrasted sharply with the heat of your thoughts. Slowly, memories of Hongjoong flooded your mind—his perfect figure leaning casually against the desk, his strong hand lingering on your arm, the gentle caress of his fingers against your face.

Your heart ached, not for Siwoo, but for Hongjoong. You suddenly craved his comforting and reassuring voice. His lingering touch on your skin. Your legs close together as you feel a wave of warmth between your thighs. Your hands moved down your soft skin, reaching towards your heat…

You gasp softly, shaking your head, trying to dismiss these feelings. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. You shouldn’t be thinking about him like this. Hongjoong is your Boss. And plus you have Siwoo. Your… loving boyfriend.

The weight of silence wraps around you like a thick fog, pressing down on your chest as you lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. You can’t shake the feeling that these spiraling thoughts. In frustration you convince yourself that you’re probably just deprived of touch from your significant other.

With sudden resolve, you push yourself up from the tangled sheets, the cool air sending a shiver down your spine, and head towards the bathroom. Turning on the water, you let your thoughts drown in the hot water. Making your way back to your room, you slowly dry off and change into pajamas.

As your head hits the pillow, a sense of calm envelops you, pulling you into a deep slumber. The world outside fades, and for the first time in ages, you allow yourself to drift away, hoping that tomorrow will bring a spark of connection back into your life.

———

The first rays of sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting soft stripes across your home office. You’re working from home today, since Hongjoong isn’t in office on the weekends. You sat your desk with a steaming cup of coffee cradled in your hands, you let the aroma fill your senses, the rich, dark liquid fueling your focus as your fingers typing across the keyboard.

The rhythmic sound of your typing created a serene atmosphere until it was interrupted by a sharp buzz from the apartment door.

Setting your coffee down, you pushed back your chair and stood, feeling a strange mix of anticipation and dread as you approached the door. Taking a deep breath, you swung it open, and your heart dropped. Standing there, looking both sheepish and regretful, was Siwoo, clutching a bouquet of flowers.

“Y/N, honey, I’m so sorry for flaking out on you so many times,” he said with a fake pout.

A year ago, you would have melted at this display. You might have accepted his half-assed apology with a smile, the flowers a token of his remorse. But today, your mind raced with reminders of all the times he had done this before. The constant stand-ups, the empty promises, the fleeting moments of connection overshadowed by disappointment.

Your heart ached, not with the sweet pang of love but with the heavy weight of frustration. You stood there, staring at him, emotions swirling within you like a storm. Hurt and upset battled against the tenderness that still lingered for him. You could feel the walls you had carefully built in the past months tightening around you, whispering that this was a cycle you were tired of repeating.

But your heart, foolishly hopeful, betrayed you. Before you could think it through, you found yourself reaching for the bouquet, inhaling the sweet scent of fresh blooms. Then, without a second thought, you pulled him into a tight embrace. As his arms wrapped around you, the familiar warmth flooded back, and you felt your resolve waver.

In that moment, you wanted to believe that this time would be different. Yet beneath the surface, a deeper ache throbbed—a desperate question lingered in your mind: why do you keep doing this to me?

As the hours unfolded, Siwoo settled into a chair across from your desk, his laptop open and papers scattered around him. The familiar hum of shared work surrounded you, a scene that once brought you joy. He would glance up occasionally, flashing you a smile that was meant to soothe the tension in the air. Yet, despite the comforting proximity, your heart was locked in a battle against the memories of hurt he had inflicted upon you.

You tried to push those thoughts aside, forcing yourself to focus on the tasks at hand. Still, they lingered like unwelcome shadows, flitting in and out of your consciousness. Each time Siwoo laughed at something on his screen or leaned back with a satisfied sigh, a part of you wanted to bask in the moment, to let yourself feel the happiness he once brought. But the other part—a weary, wiser part—reminded you of the countless times he had let you down.

Your mind already flooded with so many issues, decided to remind you of last night’s conversation with Hongjoong—the way he spoke to you, his touch… The longing for deeper connections hung heavily on your mind, teasing you with confusion.

You caught Siwoo watching you, a flicker of concern crossing his face. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, his voice breaking through your reverie.

You forced a smile, nodding slightly. “Yeah, just thinking about work.”

———

Throughout the day, with Siwoo at your side, a disquieting realization settled in your chest: you felt less like his girlfriend and more like a maid. He moved to lounge in your living room, casually asking for snacks and drinks while you sat at your desk, trying to concentrate on your work. Each request chipped away at your patience, drawing a line between the intimate moments you once cherished and the mundane reality of this interaction.

Glancing over, you caught sight of him: relaxed, almost carefree, tapping away on his phone with a soft laugh escaping his lips. Maybe it was Hongjoong’s words playing tricks on you, but a knot twisted in your stomach as you watched Siwoo, feeling an unfamiliar ick wash over you. It felt as though he was taking advantage of your hospitality, oblivious to the growing frustration bubbling within you.

“Oh, Y/N, can I borrow some money?” Siwoo asked, his voice casual, his eyes glued to the screen as he continued to chuckle at whatever amused him.

“May I ask why?” You replied softly, a frown creasing your brow as confusion settled in.

“I need to buy new materials for work. It’s required for all professors, and I’m just short by a few bucks,” he explained, his gaze still firmly fixed on his phone.

You raised an eyebrow, skepticism creeping in. “Doesn’t the university cover materials for professors?”

“Mmm, not this time. Please?” he said, finally looking up at you, his irritating smile brightening his face as if he expected you to fold under the charm.

Taking a deep breath, you felt the tension in your chest tighten, but you nodded anyway, wiring him a sum that was likely more than he needed. Maybe it was an act of guilt or an old habit of wanting to keep the peace.

“Thanks, honey. You’re the best!” he said, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. The grin on his face widened as he returned to his phone, engrossed once more in whatever had captured his attention.

“Y—you’re leaving so soon?” The words spilled out before you could stop them, a mix of desperation and disappointment. “I’m almost done with work. Let’s have dinner…”

He turned to you, his expression unchanged. “Maybe another day, Y/N. I have to head back to the campus.”

With that, he walked out without a backward glance, leaving you standing there, a swirl of emotions crashing against one another. As the door clicked shut, the weight of his absence pressed heavily on your heart, mingling with the irritation that had been building all day.

——

The weekend slipped away in a blur, its fleeting hours vanishing like sand through fingers. As you stepped into the office on Monday morning, you glanced around the workspace, filled with the scent of fresh coffee and the faint rustle of papers, and realized you wanted to be here. The thought of Hongjoong entered your mind unbidden. You couldn’t help but remember the conversations that had left you feeling confused but wanting more.

But you quickly pushed those thoughts aside, chastising yourself. This wasn’t the time for daydreams. You were his secretary, bound by professional decorum. It was crucial to maintain composure, to focus on your tasks and responsibilities. After all, any semblance of personal feelings could only complicate matters.

“Good morning, Mr. Kim,” you said, bowing slightly from your desk as he entered his office, and you follow behind him. The air felt charged with unspoken tension, a remnant of the incident that had unfolded just days prior, a moment you both seemed to ignore.

“Good morning, Miss Y/N,” Hongjoong replied, a hint of a smile playing on his lips as he settled into his chair behind the desk. His eyes flickered momentarily to the iced Americano you had picked up for him earlier, the cool condensation glistening against the glass.

“What is the schedule for today?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, his posture relaxed, but you could sense the sharpness in his gaze as it remained fixed on you.

Clearing your throat, you began to relay the day’s itinerary, focusing intently on your notes. “We have the marketing meeting at ten, followed by the conference call with the investors at noon.” You spoke steadily, but your heart raced, memories of that night creeping back into your mind—a fleeting brush of his hands, the way his gaze had pierced through the façade of professionalism.

Hongjoong listened, nodding occasionally, but there was an air of distraction about him, too. He was acting as if nothing had happened, and you were determined to do the same, though it felt like walking a tightrope. You maintained your composure, forcing yourself to keep your voice steady and professional as you continued.

His expression remained neutral, but there was an undercurrent of something unspoken between you. You stole a glance at him, noting how the light caught the edges of his features, the way he effortlessly commanded the space around him.

“And finally,” you added, pushing the memories further down, “we have a team meeting at four to discuss the new project timeline.”

As you finished, a heavy silence settled in the room, punctuated only by the soft sound of his drink being set down on the desk. You met his gaze, feeling the weight of the unacknowledged moment hanging in the air. “Thank you, Y/N,” Hongjoong said, his voice smooth as he rose from his chair. The brief moment of gratitude hung in the air between you, creating a small, intimate space in an otherwise professional atmosphere. You bowed slightly in acknowledgment, the familiar gesture a part of your daily routine, before you turned on your heels, ready to leave the room.

“Wait a moment,” he called out just as you reached the door. You paused, your heart skipping a beat, then turned back to face him.

“Yes, sir?” you replied, your voice steady but your mind racing.

“How are you doing?” he asked, the question casual yet layered with an unexpected warmth. The simplicity of it took you aback, a small flicker of surprise igniting within you.

“I—I’m well, sir. Thank you for asking.” You stumbled over your words slightly, an involuntary shyness creeping in. “How about you?” You returned the question out of politeness.

“That’s good to hear, Y/N,” he replied, his soft smile breaking through the formalities and lighting up the room. “I’m doing fine as well.”

You nodded, the warmth of his expression lingering in the air as you took in the moment. “I’ll get back to my work then,” you said, turning once more to leave.

As you stepped out of his office, the door closing softly behind you, you made your way back to your desk, the echo of his words and that fleeting smile still resonating within you.

——

Once you stepped out of Hongjoong’s office, he sank back into his chair, the weight of the world settling on his shoulders as his thoughts turned inward, swirling around you. He couldn’t deny the fondness he felt. From the moment you had started working as his secretary, you had made it clear that you were in a serious relationship. He respected your loyalty, admired it even, but it didn’t erase the growing complexity of his own feelings for you.

As he gazed out the window, memories flooded back, particularly the recent lunch meeting on Friday. You had accompanied him at the last minute, and during the drive, when you admitted to him about your relationship struggles. The admission struck him deeply—he felt a flicker of triumph at your honesty, a selfish part of him celebrating. Yet, mingled with that spark was a simmering anger; the man you were with was clearly causing you distress.

After returning to the office, you took your promised hour break, and Hongjoong found himself drawn to the rooftop. He hadn’t intended to pry; he simply wanted to offer words of encouragement, to lift your spirits. But as he approached, he overheard your phone ring and the familiar cadence of your voice pick up the call. A sinking feeling took root in his stomach when he recognized the voice on the other end—Siwoo, your boyfriend.

He paused at the steel door, unable to resist the urge to listen. Siwoo’s breathless tone was unmistakable, the hurried speech revealing more than mere exertion from a workout. Hongjoong's heart raced as he deduced the truth— Any man would know, this was not the voice of a faithful partner. The realization struck him like a punch; this man had the audacity to take your call while clearly entangled in something inappropriate.

A rush of guilt washed over him as he retreated to his office, grappling with the anger that grew beneath the surface. How could someone hurt you, an innocent, kind, and beautiful person? He felt torn, wanting to protect you while recognizing the boundaries he had vowed to uphold.

In the hours that followed, a storm of thoughts brewed within him. It was reckless, perhaps, but the idea of bringing you into his office after hours began to take root. He wanted to voice his concerns casually. But when you began to softly cry, that’s when he felt the line blur. The sight of your flushed cheeks, your pretty doe-like eyes glistening with unshed tears— (fuck, he shouldn’t be thinking like that).

Hongjoong pulled back from his reminiscent thoughts, deciding it was best to let you navigate this situation on your own. Maybe you would uncover the truth about Siwoo, perhaps the pieces would fall into place. But the uncertainty gnawed at him, and as he sat in his office, he couldn’t help but wonder how much longer he could contain his feelings, how much longer he could remain a silent observer to your heartache.

Fuck it? Hongjoong thought to himself. Siwoo deserves a taste of his own medicine.

Hongjoong scoffed to himself at his idea as he sipped on his coffee.

———

The workday unfolded in its usual rhythm, a blur of emails, calls, and the occasional paperwork that seemed to multiply by the hour. You navigated through the tasks with a practiced efficiency, though your mind occasionally drifted to the flurry of messages buzzing on your phone. Each notification from Siwoo felt like a weight pressing down on you, filled with meaningless apologies, and pleads to wire money for some other things, god knows what he needed it for.

With a deep breath, you made the decision to ignore his messages for now. You turned your focus back to your work, fingers typing over the keyboard, pouring your energy into the tasks at hand.

As you typed, the sound of footsteps drew your attention. You looked up to find Hongjoong standing before your desk, his presence commanding yet familiar. He had a way of drawing you in, and for a moment, the chaos of your personal life faded into the background.

“Miss Y/N, please come to my office after work hours,” he said, his tone smooth yet imbued with a seriousness that piqued your curiosity. He turned and strode into his office, leaving you with a flurry of thoughts.

“Yes, sir,” you replied softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you watched him go.

With a sigh, you returned to your work, the clock ticking steadily toward the end of the day. Each keystroke felt heavier as the minutes dragged on, and the anticipation of your meeting with Hongjoong lingered like a sweet ache in your heart.

———

As the final colleagues trickled out of the building, the quiet hum of the office began to settle into an echo of solitude. You sighed as you recalled Hongjoong’s instructions. Straightening your buttoned blouse and smoothing down your skirt, you prepared yourself for whatever awaited you in his office.

You knocked softly, the sound barely breaking the silence.

“Come in,” Hongjoong’s voice resonated through the door. You opened it slowly and stepped inside, closing it behind you with a soft click.

Hongjoong was seated at his desk, his white dress shirt sleeves rolled up, revealing strong forearms accentuated by a dark tie. The sight of him brought a swirl of emotions; he exuded an effortless charisma that both intimidated and drew you in.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” you said, your gaze fixed on the floor, an attempt to hide the mix of anxiety and curiosity swelling inside you.

“Yes, please come here, Y/N,” he replied, his voice calm and low. As you approached him, the familiar sound of your heels clicking against the polished floor echoed in your mind, reminding you of the similar situation a few days ago in this very spot.

“Please, sit,” he gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. You took a seat, positioning yourself at the edge, an instinctive reaction born from uncertainty.

Hongjoong rose from his chair and began to circle around the desk, a pen spinning effortlessly between his slender fingers. The movement was fluid, almost hypnotic, and it pulled your attention as you tried to read his expression.

“Miss Y/N,” he began, pausing for a moment, “you’re one of my smartest employees, correct?” His gaze remained focused elsewhere, a slight distance in his eyes.

“Th—thank you, sir. I—” you started, but his voice cut through your response.

“A person with an important job like yours requires a lot of skill, attentiveness… and have the ability assess the environment around the office, Correct?”

“Yes… that is correct, sir,” you replied quietly, maintaining eye contact,

“Would you agree that you have been lacking some of these skills, Y/N?” Hongjoong stopped infront of you, sitting at the edge of his desk. His arms crossed over his chest, revealing the strong veins that ran along his forearms, an unconscious display of his physicality that made your heart race.

“I—I haven’t noticed, sir. I apologize if I haven’t been performing well…” The words tumbled out, anxiety creeping in. Were you about to get fired? The thought sent a chill through you, and you mentally recoiled at the prospect of your life spiraling further down.

“I’m not going to fire you, Y/N,” he said, and your eyes widened in surprise; it was as if he had plucked the thought straight from your mind.

“I’m not really following this conversation, sir…” you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper as you began to fidget with your fingers in your lap, seeking any distraction from the mounting tension.

Hongjoong released a frustrated sigh, and suddenly he pushed himself off the edge of the desk, stepping toward you slowly. His strong arms landed on the armrests of your chair, effectively trapping you in place. He leaned in closer, the proximity forcing you to lean back into the seat, a gasp escaping your lips at the sudden intimacy of the moment.

The air between you thickened. You could feel the heat radiating from him, the sharpness of his gaze holding you captive.

He scoffed, the corner of his lip turning into a smirk as he looked down. His eyes landed on the unbuttoned opening of your shirt. He sees your chest breathing up and down in anticipation. He looks up, gazes at your lips quickly before looking into your eyes.

“For someone so pretty and smart, you’re quite naive” He chuckles. A rush of heat seeps into your cheeks. You’re at a loss for words. You don’t know how to respond, so you opt to stay silent.

“Miss Y/N” Hongjoong says sternly in a soft voice.

“Yes, Sir?” You quietly reply back.

“Can you assess the environment in this office right now?” His voice is a whisper.

“U—Uhm…” you stutter, not knowing what to say. Hongjoong chuckles at your flustered expression.

“Let me give you a hint, Y/N” Hongjoong whispers and leans in closer, his presence enveloping you like a warm wave. Then, in a moment that felt both thrilling and terrifying, his lips brushed against yours. Your eyes widened in shock. This is wrong, a voice in your mind screamed. You shouldn’t be doing this. But as much as you tried to summon the strength to pull away, your body betrayed you.

His lips were soft, warm, and surprisingly gentle as they molded against yours, igniting a fire that swept through you. The worries around you faded, leaving only the two of you suspended in this unexpected moment. It felt as if time had stopped, your heartbeat loud in your ears, drowning out the rational thoughts that screamed for you to stop.

As he finally pulled away, the distance felt electric, charged with a lingering intimacy. His gaze searched yours, earnest and intense. “Do you understand now?” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. You nod slowly.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks softly as he looks at your plush lips. You hesitate, unsure of what to say. All you know is that you want whatever lingering feelings Hongjoong has bestowed on you. As much as you know it’s wrong, you can’t help but crave him.

In response to his question, You shake your head in protest. His thumb caresses your chin tilting your head to look up at him.

“Use your words baby.” Hongjoong’s voice is low as he stares into your eyes, searching for an answer.

“Please… don’t stop sir.” You say quietly. Hongjoong smirks and pulls way from you. You look at him confused. His position is sat back onto the edge of his desk.

“Show me you want it too Y/N” He’s teasing you. Wanting to see how far you’re willing to go. Knowing that deep inside, as much as you want this you still feel a tiny ounce of guilt from being unfaithful to your partner. Regardless, You rise from the chair and make your way to Hongjoong. You position yourself between his legs that are slightly spread and place both your arms on his shoulders. You lean forward and kiss him. Hongjoong returns the kiss almost immediately. He can feel himself already growing hard as his lips move against yours. His hands are securely gripped onto your waist bringing you closer to him. He deepens the kiss and swipes his tongue over the bottom of your lip. In response your mouth opens as you release a whimper. Both of your tongues now move together skillfully, resulting in a moan from both of you. As the heated make-out session continues, you notice Hongjoong’s arm pushing away some papers and other items on the desk behind him.

Smoothly, Hongjoong moves your position, his strong arms swiftly carry your body onto the desk. You are now sat on top of the cold wood, arms wrapped around his neck, as he continued to devour your lips. You slightly pull back in attempt to catch your breath. You’re a panting mess, and so is he. Hongjoong however doesn’t want to stop. He pecks your lips, before leaving a trail kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your soft cheek, and finally to your slender neck. Shivers were sent throughout your body as Hongjoong left soft warm kisses on your neck.

“A—ah Sir…” you whimpered quietly. Hongjoong hummed in response as he began to leave opened mouth kisses on your skin.

Hongjoong pushed your legs apart, your skirt already slightly hiked up from him placing you on the desk moments ago. Revealing your exposed thighs, Hongjoong’s hands moved from knees, and traveled up your soft plush thighs, causing you to close them in an instinct, but his strong arms prevent you, keeping them open.

His lips trails up to your ear nibbles on your lobe before whispering softly, “I want you to say my name okay?” You nod in response.

His hands moved dangerously closer to your heat that was radiating from your exposed thighs, but he stops, he was teasing you. His hands caressed your inner thighs, not daring to move closer as he continued to kiss your neck and face. His lips found his way back to yours and takes it in softly.

You whimper against his mouth and he slowly pulls away.

“What’s wrong baby?” His voice is so soft, sending another heat wave down your body.

“Please… touch me, sir” you say sheepishly.

“I told you Y/N, I want you to say my name.” Hongjoong’s grip on your thighs tighten, causing you to whimper in pain and pleasure.

“H—Hongjoong…” your soft, angelic voice echoed in his ears as his name rolled off your tongue.

“Yeah baby?” He tries to hold back a groan, already so turned on by you calling his name.

“Hongjoong, touch me… please?” You plead with your doe eyes staring at him. Hongjoong bites his lip as he looks at your pretty, desperate face.

“Fuck, Y/N… you make me do stupid shit” He curses under his breath before devouring your lips once again.

This time, his hands finally touch your warm clothed pussy. You moan at his touch. His fingers slowly rub against your clit, creating a friction against the fabric of your underwear. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around his neck tighter. Moaning into his lips as he continues to rub you.

Unexpectedly, tears began to well up in the corner of your eyes. Not in pain, not in discomfort, but in a frustrating pleasure.

“Hong—j-joong, stop teasing please” You whimper as he slightly pulls away. He looks at your face, tears slowly falling down. He smirks, “Mm such a dirty brat, crying for me…” He degrades you in a low tone.

His hands find the hem of your underwear, and he skillfully pulls them down. They rest at the ankles of your legs, stopped by your heels that restricted them from falling to the floor. Hongjoong’s left arm cradles your back, as his right hand pushes up your skirt more to reveal your bare wet pussy.

“Fuck… so wet already just from me kissing you, and barely touching you?” He teases you, even though he too is already so rock hard in his slacks, from just kissing and touching you.

His hand makes his way to your clit. The soft bud of his middle and ring finger gently rubs circles, causing you to hold back a moan. Skillfully, his fingers dip down to your entrance, not fully going inside you, just enough to collect your wet fluids, and bring them back up to your clit. He rubs it again, slowly picking up the pace.

Your right hand drops behind you as it land on the desk, supporting your weight. You slightly throw your head back and cover your mouth with your unoccupied arm trying to hide your moans.

“Let me fucken hear you moan baby. No one is here. Just you and me” Hongjoong groans in your ear. His voice turned you on so much, resulting in a soft moan slipping from your lips.

Hongjoong’s fingers make their way to your entrance. Slipping in your tight folds. You gasp and grab onto his shoulder. He pumps his fingers slowly, as he studies your facial expressions. Your eyes are sparkling from the previous tears you shed. Your glossy lips slightly parted as you released soft moans.

“So fucken pretty” Hongjoong moans as he leans down to kiss your forehead. The gentle gesture, mixed with his lewd actions makes your stomach turn in a good way. He begins to pick up the pace. The office room is silent, with only the sounds of your mixed moans, pants, and the wetness of your folds fapping against Hongjoong’s hand.

Your mind begins to get fuzzy as you feel an orgasm near by. Hongjoong feels your pussy tighten around his digits, he chuckles before he slowly pulls his fingers out of you. You whine in protest, frustration builds up in you, you were so close. Your arm around his neck tugs him closer, reaching for his lips, wanting to feel some sort of physical contact. But he pulls away from you. Completely. He steps back and looks at your figure.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, an unsettling knot tightening in your stomach. Why did he stop? Just moments ago, the air had felt charged with lust, and now it hung heavy with an unspoken tension. A flood of negative thoughts surged through your mind, drowning out any remnants of clarity. Embarrassment crept in, a heat rising to your cheeks, making you feel exposed and vulnerable. Guilt wrapped around you like a heavy cloak, its weight almost suffocating. You could feel the sting of tears pooling in your eyes, the familiar ache of despair threatening to spill over. In a swift, instinctive motion, you cast your gaze downward, as if to shield yourself from the world around you. Your heart raced as quiet whimpers escaped your lips.

Hongjoong watches you as you softly cry. He tries not to loose his composure. The cute look of confusion on your face makes him feral.

“Aww baby… why are you crying hm?” Hongjoong’s voice is raspy. He tilts his head, trying to get a good look at your flushed face. You can’t find yourself to respond, only sniffles and soft whimpers can be heard.

“You know… to be completely honest Y/N…” the sound of Hongjoong’s belt unbuckling fills the air. You glance at him with your doe eyes.

“When I told you… I don’t want to see you cry anymore…” He slings his belt off his pants and drops it to the floor. His hands moving towards the button of his slacks. He shifts towards your body, and leans close to your face.

“I actually meant… I don’t want to see you cry for anyone else but me.” Your eyes widen at his statement. He chuckles at your expression and grabs your hands. He brings them towards his hard mound covered by the soft fabric of his pants.

“You look so fucken pretty when you cry. It turns me on so much. Knowing that you feel so good, you can’t help but shed a few tears” He moans as you begin to instinctively rub your hands on his huge hard on.

“Help me out baby. Be a good girl” Hongjoong whispers to you, and you nod. He smiles at your response. You make your way off the desk, and position yourself on your knees. You slowly unzip Hongjoong’s pants and pull them down along with his trousers. His hard, long cock springs out and softly hits your face. You gasp at the sudden sight. Earning a chuckle from him.

“Open your mouth.” He demands softly. Your lips part, tongue slightly sticking out, as you take Hongjoong’s length in. He releases a loud groan. Cursing under his breath as you begin to slowly bob your head up and down. You twirl your tongue a few times over his tip, causing him to tightly grip onto your soft hair.

“F—Fuck baby…” Hongjoong throws his head back.

“… damn, your boyfriend is this lucky and can’t even fucken appreciate you” You freeze at the sudden statement, and Hongjoong smirks as he scoffs. In response, he begins to thrust into your mouth slowly. You moan on his cock as he begins to shove himself deeper into your mouth. You tap Hongjoong’s leg, and he pulls you off him instantly. You gasp for air, a string of saliva connecting from your lip to his cock, as you begin to cough. Hongjoong chuckles, caressing your hair.

“Stand up” He demands. And in an instant you’re on your feet. Hongjoong swiftly lifts you up and places you back onto the desk. His hands are hastily unbuttoning your blouse as he kisses your lips. You moan, furrowing your brows, still thinking about the humiliating statement Hongjoong said. Something about his touch is so intoxicating, making you want more. Making you not care about anything in your reality.

As Hongjoong releases the last button on your blouse, he quickly pushes your shirt off, revealing your black lacy bra filled by your perfect plush breasts. His hands grace over your chest, sending shivers down your spine. He kisses the exposed skin of your breast. His hands moving towards the straps, as he pulls them off. He reaches behind you and skillfully releases the clasps of your bra. The black lace drops swiftly revealing your perfect boobs.

“So fucken perfect for me baby.” Hongjoong whispers as he gropes them with his hands. You moan at his touch. He takes one in his mouth and laps at your nipples, resulting in you throwing your head back in pleasure.

“H—Hongjoong” you moan his name, he hums in response, still working on your breasts.

“Want.. m—more” you stutter under his touch.

He pulls away from you and pants, trying to calm himself down.

“Want more what?” He cocks an eyebrow at you. You pout, too embarrassed to verbally say what you want from him.

“Tell me now, or I’ll leave you here” Hongjoong threatens as he begins to pump himself, already knowing what you want. But he still wants to hear the words from your mouth.

“I want… you inside me… please?” You whimper in embarrassment. You look at him and you see a spark of excitement in his eyes as he smirks at you.

“Atta girl. Wasn’t so hard to say right?” He teases you as he brings himself closer to your pussy. Your breath increases as he places his tip right at the entrance. He only inserts his head before pulling out, repeating the gesture a few times. You whine as a tear falls from your eyes.

“Quit being a fucken brat” Hongjoong hisses at you bringing a gentle hand to your face as he wipes the tear away. Finally, He pushes his whole length inside you, earning a loud yelp from you. His cock instantly hits your sensitive spot and you cling onto his arms. He pauses inside of you, letting you adjust to his size. You’re definitely not used to his large length and thick girth, he’s stretching you out so good.

“Damn baby, you’re so tight? Your boyfriend isn’t big enough huh?” Hongjoong snickers at you. You whine at the sudden mention of your boyfriend again. It’s like he wants to remind you of him on purpose. To humiliate you. Hongjoong begins a slow pace inside you. Grunting as he moves against you.

“Answer me…” he demands, his hand cups your chin to force your gaze on him.

“H—he isn’t big enough. Y—you’re bigger Hongjoong…” You moan as he thrusts deeper.

“You… make me feel s—so good” You close your eyes as you take in the pleasure running through your body. Hongjoong manically smiles. Ecstatic at your response.

“Yeah?” He teases. Picking up his pace. The sound of your sweet moans heighten, the wet sounds of you two slapping against each other fill the room along with Hongjoong’s dirty words.

“Bet you, he doesn’t fuck you this good huh? Look at you. A fucken mess on my cock.”

“N-no! He doesn’t.” You whine, another wave of tears begin to fall from your eyes. The overstimulation of Hongjoong pumping into you along with his degrading words overwhelms you. You don’t want to admit it, but you fucken love this. Your body is enjoying every fucken moment of this dirty, lewd affair.

“F-Fuucckk” Hongjoong moans loudly. “Look at me while you cry, baby. Let me see that pretty face” you listen to him without hesitation. Your eyes locking with his. You feel yourself closer to reaching your high. Until you’re both interrupted with a sudden ringing.

You both turn your heads to the chair you sat on when you first entered Hongjoong’s office. The sight of your bright phone screen illuminates the dim room.

*Siwoo <3 is Calling*

Your heart drops at the name. Anxiety suddenly filling your body, replacing the pleasure you felt before. Hongjoong notices and smirks at you. He reaches over and grabs your phone.

“Answer it.” He demands. You shake your head no.

“I said fucken answer it. Your boyfriend is waiting for you. Don’t be a fucken brat now. Do you want me to stop?” Hongjoong’s words are harsh. You instantly shake your head in protest of him stopping.

“Then fucken answer it” Hongjoong shoves the phone towards you.

You hesitate as you grab the phone from his hands and click the green button. You bring the phone to your ear, but Hongjoong pulls your wrist, and clicks on the speaker button. He cocks his head at you, signaling you to continue,

“H-Hello? Siwoo?” You begin. Hongjoong resumes his pace. Fucking you in and out.

“Hey Honey. What are you doing?” Siwoo’s voice is calm, in contrast to what you’re feeling right now.

“A-Ah.. I’m j-just finishing up some w-work” You stutter as you try to keep your composure. Hongjoong makes it harder for you as he begins to lick your neck.

“You’re still at work?” Siwoo questions.

“M—mm, Yeah. Don’t worry. I—I’ll be home soon” You bite your lip trying to contain a moan.

“You okay Y/N? why do you keep stuttering?” Siwoo’s voices a concern.

“I—i’m okay. I-I just don’t feel too well. I think it’s a stomach tic” You bluff, trying to find an excuse.

“You don’t feel well? Shall I come pick you up from work-?” Siwoo suggests

“No!” You cut him off. You curse to yourself. Hongjoong smiles against a your neck and softly bites it as he continues fucking you senseless.

“Oh- okay then. Just be careful. take some medicine” You roll your eyes. (why the fuck does Siwoo decide to be sweet right now out of all days?) You mentally say to yourself.

“Y-yes I will…” You reply softly.

“Anyways, did you see my text? can you wire me some money?” Siwoo asks nonchalantly. You scoff, earning a vocalized chuckle from Hongjoong. Your eyes widen as you pull him closer to your neck, trying to muffle his laughter. You bite your lip, in hopes Siwoo didn’t hear anything.

“S—sorry, Siwoo. I don’t get paid till this Friday.” you manage to get out.

“Aww please? just a few bucks” Siwoo whines. In annoyance, you roll your eyes once again.

“Siwoo, I—I can’t. I have to go” You quickly hang up the call and throw your phone down. Hongjoong detaches from your neck and chuckles before attacking your lips. His pace begins to pick up. He holds onto your waist for support and you hold him closer. Hongjoong pulls away from your lips and rests his forehead against yours.

“Does he take care of you? or do you take care of him?” He teases as he tries to hold back a laugh.

“S—Shut up” You moan in response. Hongjoong thrusts hard into you, earning a loud yelp from you.

“Someone’s suddenly mouthy?” Hongjoong’s hand grips onto your chin as he lightly taps your cheek.

“F—Fuck” You moan as he shoves himself inside you, with long and deep strokes.

Hongjoong then suddenly pulls out of you. Not wanting to waste any time, he lifts you off the desk and flips you over. Your front is pushed onto the cold wood, and he pulls your hips higher. Your forearms hoist yourself for support as you feel Hongjoong enter you once again. His hands grip under your skirt pushing them up towards your waist, giving him a perfect view of your ass. He mentally curses to himself as he watches your butt bounce on his cock at a constant pace. He brings his hand down to caress it before raising it and bringing it back down in a hard, but pleasurable slap. You yelp in response, eyes widen at the sudden contact.

“Such a fucken naughty girl. Fucking your boss, when you have a boyfriend” Hongjoong degrades you as his hand makes contact with your ass again. You whimper at the stinging sensation. Your tears fall onto the papers infront of you.

“Who fucks you better baby?” Hongjoong pants as his speed increases. “Me or Siwoo? Hm?” He asks again taking you in deeper.

“A—Ahhhh~ You, Hongjoong.” You sniffle your tears , “Hongjoong fucks me better!” You scream as his pace becomes sloppy. Hongjoong hears your crying whimpers and quickly turns you around to face him. Your body now lays flat on his desk as he pumps into you.

“Yeah? bet I can be better lover than him too” Hongjoong confesses as he smashes his lips onto yours. Your heart clenches at his statement. A sudden wave of orgasm hits you. Your pussy tightens around him as you come undone. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you release a loud moan. Your face buried in his chest, as he continues to fuck you and chase his high. Hongjoong’s thrust become sloppy, and quickly pulls out of you.

“Let me cum on your pretty face” He hastily demands. You quickly move towards his lower body and he pumps himself quickly on you. Hongjoong looks at your sparkly doe eyes, and bites his lips. His warm thick load releases into your face, along with a loud grunt from his mouth. You gasp as the feeling of the strings of cum landing on your soft skin. Your mouth instinctively opens,

“F—Fuckkk baby” Hongjoong hisses as he continues to pump more of his load onto your tongue.

The office room is filled with the sounds of you and Hongjoong panting, trying to catch your breath. The room reeks of sex. Your eyes are still locked on his. His white cum painted on your face and mouth. Without any other choice, you close your mouth and swallow his bittersweet cum.

“Fuck” Hongjoong whispers under his breath. He caresses your hair and reaches over his desk to grab a few tissue papers. Hongjoong wipes your face gently and kisses your forehead.

"Let me clean you up down there,"

Hongjoong whispered, his voice a soft, intimate murmur that seemed to linger in

the air between you. The earlier intensity of steamy sex had left a palpable tension, but now, a gentle calm enveloped the room. His eyes, once aflame with desire, were now filled with a warmth that reassured you, reminding you of the caring side he often showed.

After the whirlwind of passion, Hongjoong's demeanor had transformed completely. The fire that had ignited between you both settled into a tender glow as he moved closer, his presence both comforting and protective. With a steady hand, he reached for another tissue, his fingers brushing your skin lightly as he began to clean you up. The touch was careful and deliberate, as if he were trying to convey his affection through each gentle motion.

You felt a mix of vulnerability and warmth wash over you, grateful for the way he approached this moment. It was as though he understood the importance of transitioning from the intensity of physical connection to something more nurturing and intimate. You appreciated how he took his time, ensuring that you felt cared for, both emotionally and physically. As you two began to help each other back into your clothing, you couldn’t ignore the lingering feelings.

“I’ll take you home” Hongjoong smiles gently at you and brushes a strand of your hair out of your face. You nod and follow behind him out of his office. As he approached your desk, Hongjoong gathered your bags. You instinctively reached out to grab them, but he gently shook his head, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Let me handle this,” he said, his voice warm and reassuring. With that, he took the lead, guiding you toward his car.

As you followed behind, your legs felt wobbly, you could sense him glancing back occasionally, ensuring you were still keeping up.

At the car, he paused, opening the passenger door, gesturing for you to get in. You slid into the seat. He placed your bags in the back with care, then turned to you, his demeanor softening as he reached for his spare coat. With a fluid motion, he draped it over your shoulders, its warmth enveloping you like a comforting hug.

“Hongjoong—” you started, the silence stretching between you, but he raised a hand to quiet you.

“Shh, it’s okay, Y/N. You don’t have to say anything. Just rest,” he said gently. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

The drive home was silent. The hum of the engine a lullaby in the stillness of the night. You fought to keep your eyes open, fatigue clawing at you, but each passing moment, tried to invite you to surrender to the drowsiness. Suddenly, the car came to a stop, signaling at you from your drowsy haze. You turned to look at Hongjoong, who was already gazing at you.

“Y/N…” Hongjoong’s voice was barely above a whisper, yet it carried an undeniable weight. “I meant what I said when I told you I can be a better lover than Siwoo.” The sincerity in his tone sent a shiver down your spine. “He doesn’t treat you well. You deserve someone who truly values you.” His eyes held a raw intensity as he continued, “I don’t think I can go on without you knowing that I’ve always wanted you for myself.”

His sudden confession took you by surprise, leaving you momentarily speechless. The air around you felt charged, and you could hardly process the emotions swirling within you.

“Let me prove to you that I will love you better. Please, Y/N,” he urged, his gaze earnest and imploring. The vulnerability he displayed was a stark contrast to what he portrayed in the office just moments ago. This was a side of him that revealed his deep feelings, and it struck a chord within you.

Your heart raced as you absorbed his words, the truth of them resonating deep inside. You had long felt the magnetic pull toward him, the warmth in his presence that made you feel seen in a way Siwoo never had. You realized in that moment that you, too, wanted to love him—fully and unreservedly.

Compelled by a rush of emotion, you leaned in closer, the space between you evaporating. Your lips met his in a tender kiss, a hesitant exploration that quickly deepened as he responded. His hands found their way to your face, cradling it gently as he pulled you in, his touch igniting a warmth that spread through your entire being.

“Fuck- if you kiss me like that I might take you right here again” Hongjoong chuckles against your lips. And you giggle in response. However, his expression falls down.

“Y/N… I should tell you that Siwoo has been cheating on you.” Hongjoong sighs as he rests his forehead against yours.

“Who’s Siwoo?” You joke trying to mask your disappointment of him mentioning your now ex. “Y/N, I know I initiated an affair while you are dating him too but, you needed to know.” Hongjoong states in a serious tone.

“I know, Hongjoong.” You say softly. “I figured after our conversation we had on Friday, when he came over to my house the next day. I guess my naive self chose to ignore it… I messaged him earlier when we got to the car that I’m over with him. I’m no longer his.” You look at Hongjoong as he studies your face.

“So… does this mean you’re mine?” Hongjoong raises an eyebrow. You softly smile and shrug your shoulders. Hongjoong smirks at you and in an instant unbuckles his seat belt and exits the car. He makes his way to the passenger door and opens it. Swiftly, he lifts your body and throws you over his shoulder. You yelp in response and he carries you towards his house.

“You drove us to your house?!” You exclaim as you giggle over his shoulder.

“Let me remind you again who you really belong to” Hongjoong chuckles as he playfully slaps your ass and quickly makes his way through the doors of his home.

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Author’s commentary: Should I do a sequel? 👀. I had way more ideas for this story but decided to cut it short LOLLL. Anyways, I hope yall enjoy😝 feel free to fangirl in my comment section/ ask box🤭.

[a-tiny-thing]

Strange Tide

Pirate!Seonghwa x siren!fem reader

(OT8 as side characters)

Words: 13.5k

Genre/au: pirate au, fantasy, supernatural, magic, smut (MDNI 18+)

Warnings: adult dialogue, use of Y/N, kidnapping, violence, blood, attempted SA (but Hwa to the rescue) smut warnings: unprotected sex (naurrr wrap that shit), riding, nipple play, slight bulging, creampie, pet names

***I have enjoyed all things pirate for a long time, so rewatching every pirate movie I love means I just had to write an Ateez pirate!au 🫠💕 Please don’t interact if the typical violence of a pirate story isn’t your cup of tea 🫰🏻💗 Please check out my other fics and leave any and all feedback, I love to hear it! 🫶🏻 This is not meant to represent any persons in real life and is a work of fiction. Do not repost or translate ©jagibangbangchan***

Ari’s masterlist

~~~

Hongjoong stood on the top deck, steering the Inception to follow the sun, the breeze blowing through his hair gently.

Seonghwa stood to his left, bending over their chart table slightly to study the maps sprawled over its top. He had a troubled look on his face, but he wasn’t certain yet that it was worth bothering the captain over.

“What?” Hongjoong said, peering over at him as if reading his mind. “What is it that creases your brow in such a way?”

Seonghwa met the captain’s eye briefly before looking back down at the charts with a sigh. Straightening to stand fully, he said,

“It’s nothing, Captain. I just don’t trust uncharted waters.”

“It’s not unlike other areas we’ve sailed before,” Hongjoong said looking back out at the horizon. “What has you so worried this time?”

Seonghwa hesitated to answer, he had been a pirate for a long time, but he was still cautious of the unknown to some extent, and they had found out the hard way in the past that some legend and rumor rang with truth. He always listened for the stories and rumors the people told in whatever towns they stopped in, many a time finding a new place to sail to or a possible bounty or treasure to hunt down. More often than not, however, finding cautionary tales and stories of tragedies at sea.

“You know I listen for rumors and stories whenever we are in port.”

Hongjoong nodded so he continued,

“Before we left the last town, I encountered a crone that seemed to know the destination of our current journey. She warned me against our route, saying most people who sail through these waters are never seen again. And I know you’ll say ‘we hear that about every route from those who fear the sea’, but I can’t get this warning out of my head. Seeing uncharted areas on every map we’ve encountered of this part of the sea concerns me, is all.”

Seonghwa finished with a sigh, his brows still creased with slight worry. He’d kept part of the story from the captain as he was convinced it was no more than an old legend, but the more he stood puzzling about it, then more certain he felt this was one of those legends that held truth.

A hand clasped his shoulder gently, he turned to see Yunho and Yeosang, both of them clearly having heard what Seonghwa said.

“What warning did she give you, Hwa?” Yunho’s voice was curious and Yeosang nodded in agreement, both of them waiting for him to respond.

Seonghwa could tell Hongjoong was listening still as well, so he pursed his lips before deciding it couldn’t hurt to tell them.

“Have you all heard the tales of the Isle of Mirrors?”

The three’s eyes widened at his words, all of them nodding as Hongjoong said,

“Every pirate and sailor has heard of the Isle, but no one knows where it is.”

Seonghwa shook his head lightly,

“The story from the crone was that she’d heard our route would lead us straight through where the Isle is supposedly located. If we all know the tale, we all know the moral of it is to warn people of the surrounding waters and how treacherous they are for sailors.”

Yeosang spoke up cautiously saying,

“It’s just a story, though, right Hwa?”

Hongjoong shook his head and answered,

“We of all people should know that stories exist for a reason, whether it’s direction or warning. All the tales I have ever heard of the Isle don’t tell why the waters are dangerous, just that the route should be avoided.”

Seonghwa nodded in agreement before turning to Yeosang and Yunho again. He saw Jongho sitting on the bottom of the stairs listening as well, San and Wooyoung coming from below deck suddenly while dragging Mingi behind them. The older four looked at them curiously for their obnoxious entrance.

“What?” San raised an eyebrow in question as they all rolled their eyes and turned back to the captain.

“Should we change routes, Captain?” Yunho said as he came up next to Seonghwa to peer down at the maps. “We would only have to alter course by a half day to avoid the uncharted areas of the map.”

“Why would we alter course? That’s just gonna make us behind on our rations again, and you know how whiny Wooyoung gets when he’s hungry.”

Mingi spoke as they approached the top deck, playfully trying to ruffle Wooyoung’s hair for the teasing as the latter intentionally whined to irritate him.

“Seonghwa’s worried about the uncharted waters,” Yeosang said softly, “and there’s a lot of bad rumors about the route we’re taking so we’re thinking better safe than sorry for sailing through the dangerous area.”

“Is it better safe than sorry if something happens off our course and suddenly we’re lost?” Wooyoung argued, Yeosang and Yunho starting to disagree with him while Mingi and San chose sides and added to the chaos.

They all began chattering over each other, their voices melting into the background as Seonghwa still contemplated the maps. He wasn’t sure going off course because of a rumor was worth the risk of something happening or them running out of food, and they’d faced dangerous situations before. His train of thought was cut off by Hongjoong’s sharp voice,

“That’s enough! Stop fighting before I keel haul the lot of you.”

He glowered at Wooyoung and San as they glared at Mingi and Yunho, the former pair childishly sticking their tongues out at the gentle giants.

“We’ll adjust our course only slightly. The first sign of trouble or rough waters, we turn the ship’s course farther around and if we have to ration more we will. Deal?”

They all nodded, some murmuring a ‘yes, captain’ before they all wandered away back to their posts. Jongho stood and walked up the stairs next to Seonghwa and Hongjoong.

“Are you actually satisfied with that solution, Captain?” The youngest looked back and forth between the eldest two, sharing a look before Seonghwa shrugged and said,

“We’ve been through bad before and we can get through whatever we encounter if we work together.”

Hongjoong nodded and then smirked at Jongho teasingly,

“Are you worried about us Jongho? Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Rolling his eyes as he began to walk away, Jongho replied,

“It’s locked in a chest and my common sense is sitting on the top to keep it closed.”

“That tracks,” the captain muttered with a shake of his head. Turning to Seonghwa, he saw him still eyeing the maps warily. Hongjoong watched him intensely for a moment, believing in his crew’s instincts and knowing he’d be on edge now until the end of this journey, or at least until Seonghwa was no longer nervous as well.

~~~

The fog began as the sun was setting halfway through their journey. It only thickened as they sailed, further adding to their unease about the route they had taken. With the fading light of day, fog was a very easy way to get lost.

“Should we turn back, Captain?” Seonghwa asked at the helm.

Hongjoong now stood over the maps, staring into the water surrounding them, looking for any sign of change among the waters. The depth didn’t seem to change enough to be visible, meaning it shouldn’t be dangerous to the underside of the ship unless there were large rocks that couldn’t be seen at first.

“San!” Hongjoong called. “Perch on the bow, Wooyoung in the crows nest! Keep your eyes peeled for rocks in the water and depth change.” He turned to Seonghwa as the two younger men shouted an affirmative and swung to their positions.

“Keep our course steady for now, trying to turn in this fog will only get us lost for sure without a guiding point.” Hongjoong scanned their surroundings almost anxiously.

“Aye, Captain.” Seonghwa could tell what Hongjoog was feeling, a similar anxiety swirling in his mind. Something was off, there was something hiding in this fog, and he became suddenly aware of the feeling of being watched.

His head snapped towards the water as the feeling grew, and he could almost swear he saw something move back beneath the water. There was no ripple, however, so he shook his head and resumed steering. ‘Perhaps my eyes are playing tricks on me due to my nerves.’

The longer they sailed, the more uneasy everyone became. The silence that hung around them seemed weighted and even the sound of the waves against the ship seemed muted in the growing dark.

“Drop anchor!” Hongjoong called out to Yunho and Mingi. “We’re not getting anywhere in this fog at night.”

They did as ordered, the ship coming to a gentle halt. They all tied off loose sails and secured all ropes before approaching the helm.

“We may as well eat something and rest a while before continuing through the fog. Everyone’s nerves are starting to become contagious.”

They all nodded at the captain and prepared to eat their dinner.

Just before they sat amidships to eat, Seonghwa paused at hearing a low boom in the distance. He stood and leaned his head to listen better as the crew looked at him.

“Did anyone else hear tha-“

He was abruptly cut off by the sound of an explosion and splintering wood, the ship shuddering under the impact. They all jumped to their feet with a shout, stools and bowls clattering as they flew.

“Cannon fire! Man the guns, we’re under attack!” Hongjoong shouted as they all ran to their posts, another cannon ball shattering the banister of the starboard bow.

“Sight their muzzle flash! Find them and return fire!”

The captain continued to shout orders as he ran to the helm, Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho pulling in the anchor as Yeosang, Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa began preparing to fire back.

They waited for a moment to hear the sound of their attackers cannons, trying to pinpoint them without being able to see them.

They fired again, and San’s head snapped toward the initial sound. The cannonball splintered into the port side, San saying,

“They’re off the port bow, and they have to be able to see us somehow. They’re too close and hitting too accurately in the dark and the fog.”

The others scrambled to load the port cannons, Wooyoung climbing the mast suddenly to perch half-way up to see if he could spot their enemy. His eyes widened as he saw San was right. Their attackers were off the port bow and they were sailing directly towards them.

“Captain!” Wooyoung called down, “They’re off the port bow in a fog bank, and they’re headed straight for us!”

“Return fire I said!” Hongjoong shouted as he turned the ship starboard, hoping they would be fast enough to avoid being rammed, or boarded.

The three lifting the anchor rejoined them on deck and began firing the cannons now that they’d found a target. One of Yunho’s shots seemed to hit their forward powder stores, igniting a fire near the enemies port side. Suddenly they could see everything, the fire refracting through the mist.

It was a huge black vessel, the figurehead a gruesome carving of a mermaid with a tortured and bloody expression. The men on board shouting and waving pistols, waiting until they got close enough to fire at them. They continued to rain cannon fire on each other, each ships’ crew shouting orders while their cannons sent fire and splintering wood flying into the air and water.

Seonghwa ran to the helm as Hongjoong ducked from cannon shrapnel. He could feel himself bleeding several places, but nothing felt too large. As he reached the helm, he grabbed Hongjoong and pushed him down next to the wheel to recover for a moment. He continued to turn the ship in an attempt to escape the barrage.

“We’re gaining distance, Captain, but I’m not sure we can out run them.” He glanced at Hongjoong where he sat panting with blood on his face.

Hongjoong nodded as he wiped at the blood before he said,

“What other choice do we have? We can try to fight them, but they already have the advantage. Our best bet to not get killed is to run and hope we can hide in the fog.”

He held his hand out to Seonghwa, who grabbed it and helped him to his feet again.

Seonghwa nodded and was about to reply, but then everything seemed to happen in slow motion. He saw the flash of a cannon muzzle directly behind Hongjoong. As though he could see the trajectory of the cannonball, Seonghwa felt his body move on instinct as he pushed Hongjoong again, this time out of the path of the cannonball. It hit the deck with an explosion of wood, Hongjoong watching in horror as Seonghwa was flung backwards and over the edge of the ship.

“Seonghwa!”

Hongjoong’s cry echoed in Seonghwa’s head. The breath knocked out of him by the explosion, Seonghwa couldn’t even fight as he hit the water, pain searing through him. He had no breath to lose and the water filled his senses as he slowly began to sink, blood swirling in the water around him as his vision started to darken.

‘Am I going to die?’, he thought. His mind flashed briefly over his last act. ‘At least I saved Hongjoong, he’ll take care of the others.’

His eyes began to close and he was almost sure he was hallucinating the feeling of soft hands holding him, moving him through the water, and he was definitely hallucinating the shimmering scales that graced the mysterious figure.

~~~

The battle raged on the surface, splintered chunks of wood and metal littering the top of the water. Y/N knew what she was doing was foolish, but she couldn’t help being captivated by the pirate’s beauty. When she saw him standing on the ship, she felt strongly like she would to follow him anywhere. She had barely slipped beneath the water in time to hide from his piercing gaze, her heart fluttering lightly when he unknowingly looked right at her. Luckily, most of her scales and her tail were below the water far enough not to reflect and be seen in the dark water. Even if he was beautiful, there was no telling what a pirate would do if they set their sights on a siren.

She had turned to flee at the sight of the attacking ship, every siren knew to avoid the ship of siren hunters. They scrambled to defend themselves, and she couldn’t help but hope that they would be alright. As she began to dip beneath the water, a particularly loud explosion caught her attention. She looked up as fire lit the sky, racing across the hunters ship and covering the surface of the water with spots of burning oil. It illuminated the scene of the two ships firing on each other, and for a moment she was in awe, witnessing something many sirens never have.

Her awe was shattered as she watched the beautiful pirate push his crew mate out of the way and be blown off the deck into the sea. Acting almost on instinct, she slipped beneath the water, her powerful tail already moving her towards him as he sank. His blood swirled around him, spreading from a gash torn through his side.

She pressed her hand to the wound, murmuring in her native tongue, the water thickening around his wound to stop the blood and begin to heal him. The water bandage stayed and she moved to drag him to the surface. Swimming away from the fire to, hopefully, hide them as they resurfaced, she wrapped her arm under his arms and pulled his head above the water. His head laid back on her shoulder, no breath seemingly coming from him.

Looking around, she spotted a larger chunk of debris that would hold his weight. Gliding over to it, she hoisted him onto the planks, pulling herself up partially to lean over him. He was breathing, she confirmed it as she felt his breath soft against her fingers, hovering them over his face to check for more injuries.

Y/n spun her head around to see the status of the battle between the ships. The pirate ship seemed to be successfully creating distance from the hunters, though she realized she was dangerously close to the hunters ship now, the side of the black ship rising out of the water above her head. She began to contemplate diving back into the water and letting him get back on his own, when a gasp and his hand grabbing her by the throat brought her back to the pirate.

Seonghwa didn’t mean to, he was in pain and drowning, his consciousness wavering. Slowly he came to, his head lolled to one side where he realized he hadn’t been hallucinating. Lying along his side, half in the water where her scales were glimmering in the firelight, a siren leaned over him. Her head was turned away from him as she assessed the battle, but in his state of panic he grabbed her hard enough to cut off her voice, her eyes turning back to him in a similar panic.

For a frozen moment, they simply stared at each other. Her eyes held fear and shock, his eyes morphing from confusion to shock and wonder.

‘No fucking way. I was saved…by a siren?’

He slowly loosened his grip, both of them still looking at each other warily, but before either of them could speak a net dropped over them.

It dragged them both off the makeshift raft and into the water again. Trapped against each other, they struggled and pushed against the net as they were pulled through the water.

Seonghwa gasped for air as they were pulled up the side of the hunters black ship. Y/n hissed and struggled against him, but she found she didn’t want to use her full power trapped so close to him, as it would surely kill him.

Hauled over the side and thrown onto the deck of the hunters ship, Seonghwa pushed against the weight of the net as he tried to get his arms under him. He crawled as best he could against them pulling on the net, attempting to fight off the men swarming them. She continued to hiss as she tried to push the net up as well. Surprise flicked across her face as the net lifted over her slightly, draped over him as he held himself over her, allowing her room to move and support herself. Before they could make much more progress moving the net, it was ripped off and they were grabbed roughly by the hunters.

Seonghwa’s arms were pinned and tied behind his back as they forced him onto his knees, a rough hand gripping his hair as they put a knife to his throat. He watched as they grabbed her arms, pinning them behind her back as they forced her face down onto the deck. She opened her mouth to scream, the pirate be damned, but the sound was cut as the hunters gagged her.

“You bastards!” Venom laced Seonghwa’s voice as he seethed. “You hide in the fog and attack us without provocation? Let me go!”

A hunter swiped him across the face.

“Shut your fucking mouth.” He snarled at Seonghwa as they gagged him as well. “You served your purpose as bait, you’re lucky we don’t kill you now.”

The captain of the hunter ship stalked toward them and Seonghwa couldn’t help the clench in his heart at what the man said.

‘Bait. They knew there were sirens in these waters so they hoped to draw them to the surface with blood.’ His eyes flicked down to meet hers where she looked at him almost pleadingly as she struggled still. ‘She saved me instead of killing me and was captured because of it.’

Y/n broke their eye contact as the hunter captain stopped in front of her, crouching down to grab a handful of her hair and pull her head up. Her hiss of pain was muffled, she met the man’s eye with a glare, trying to maintain some level of malice and not be overcome by her fear.

“Exactly, boy,” the grizzled captain said, “we were hunting much more slippery prey than a couple of pirates. Where my curiosity lies now is this, why did she never scream? A siren that doesn’t fight back? Priceless.”

He released her head with a jerk, shoving her back into the wood of the deck. His eyes landed on their pirate prisoner and the look of rage and concern on Seonghwa’s face as they shoved her around.

‘Interesting,’ the hunter thought, ‘we caught her because she brought him back to the surface, why did she not drown him? Did she save him??’

Seonghwa met the hunter captain’s gaze then, his eyes showing an anger and hatred that spooked the man slightly. The captain’s face twisted into smirk, however, and he ordered,

“Tie her in the bilge, she’ll stay hydrated enough in there until we reach our destination.”

“What about him, sir?” The hunter holding Seonghwa’s head back pressed his knife a little harder against his throat, a small line of blood running down his neck. “Should I slice his neck and throw him back to them?”

The hunter captain looked down at him for a moment, contemplating before he said,

“Tie him up in there with her. It seems our little siren has a soft spot for pirates and won’t scream if he’s close enough to get hurt by it.”

The other hunters smirked and laughed tauntingly at her and Seonghwa.

“Stow the guns and douse the lights, we’ll use the fog and darkness to lose them. Wouldn’t want those filthy pirates following us into the Isle looking for their crew mate.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widened at his mention of the Isle. ‘The Isle of Mirrors? That’s their destination?’

Fear began to trickle into him slowly as the hunters dragged them both below, down into the lowest deck where sea water sloshed back and forth with the motion of the ship. They tied her hands together and hung them from a large hook in the ceiling. Her lower half was still in the water, but her tail wouldn’t help her in so little water, and it wasn’t enough to keep her strong.

They pushed Seonghwa, standing, against the large beam in the middle of the dark room. Large rope was wrapped around him and secured around the beam, holding him upright permanently as the water sloshed around his legs. He was an arms length from her as she strained to lift herself even slightly to alleviate the pull on her hands. The gag was harshly ripped out of his mouth and he coughed, licking blood from his lip as he glared at the hunters.

“Why the Isle of Mirrors?” They looked at him sharply at his question. “What’s hiding there that the stories don’t tell?”

“That’s not something you need to know about, pirate. I suppose you’ll just have to wait and see, if the captain lets you live that long.”

Snickering to each other, they locked the metal barred door and climbed back up the stairs.

Leaving them alone in the dark cell, he could only watch her struggle again for a while before she gave up, dropping her weight to fully hang from her wrists with a muffled cry. He wanted so badly to help her, pulling against the ropes that held him, but they were too tight and there was nothing he could do.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly to her, just enough to be heard over the water splashing them.

Her head came up and she looked at him with so many emotions swirling in her eyes. She shook her head angrily at him finally, tears escaping as she looked away from him again. He knew there was nothing he could say now that would help her, so he simply put his head back against the beam and closed his eyes, feeling the pain of all of his injuries and tiredness wash over him.

‘I’m sorry, Hongjoong. Please let everyone be safe, and have the common sense not to search for me. I’d rather they think I’m dead than get themselves killed fighting hunters.’

~~~

Aboard the Inception, Hongjoog and the others were shaken by the sudden attack and then sudden retreat of the mysterious black ship. Hongjoong had run to the side of the ship when Seonghwa had gone overboard, frantically searching the dark water for him. He couldn’t search for long as another cannonball forced him to duck behind the wheel again. He shook his head with tears in his eyes and focused back on steering the ship away, hoping he could save the others now even if everything in him screamed to save Seonghwa.

Yunho had also witnessed the explosion and Seonghwa being thrown over. He finished loading the cannon and nodded at Mingi to fire, before turning over the railing to search the water himself. The others were all still fighting for their lives, no one else being witness to what Yunho saw. His eyes widened as he saw, through the smoke and fire, a large shimmering tail. He followed its path and gasped in surprise to see Seonghwa’s head breach the surface, a woman holding him up and moving him onto a large chunk of plank wood.

He ducked back as Mingi grabbed him, shielding each other from the impact of the cannon. As the debris fell, Yunho whipped his head back toward the other ship in time to see them hauling a net over the far edge of their ship, Seonghwa and his savior trapped within it.

The noise of the other ships cannons ceased, the fog and smoke almost completely obscuring the two ships from each other. The black ship began to slip back into the fog as they put the fire out, the abrupt retreat leaving the pirates shocked.

They all panted in silence for a moment as the ship disappeared back in to the night. Panicked, Yunho ran to the helm, shouting,

“We have to follow them, Captain! They have Seonghwa!”

They all looked at each other and around, frenzied as they realized Yunho was right about Seonghwa not being on board.

Hongjoong slammed his fists on the map table in fury,

“Idiot! Why the fuck did he do that?”

Yunho and Yeosang paused as they reach the top deck, concerned about the tears that ran down their captain’s face.

“He pushed me out of a cannons fire and was thrown over because of it. Now you say they have him? Why? Why attack us just to kidnap Seonghwa?”

Hongjoong’s hands shook as his thoughts swirled, unable to help it as the memory of Seonghwa going over flashed before his eyes again and again.

“It might be hard to believe me, but they weren’t after Seonghwa, they were after the one who saved him.”

Six pairs of eyes turned to Yunho in surprise as he continued,

“I think I know why these waters are said to be so dangerous, and it’s not the random ship attacks. This territory has to belong to sirens, one just saved Seonghwa and they both were captured. She was their target.”

Hongjoong processed his words for a moment, seething the way Seonghwa had when he’d realized they’d been used.

“Bait?” His voice was deadly quiet, “They nearly killed us all so we could be siren bait?”

“Nothing draws sharks and sirens like the blood of sailors and pirates.” Jongho’s quiet response caused goosebumps on some of the others.

Hongjoong glared at the maps for a moment more, wishing they’d all listened to Seonghwa when he suggested altering their route in the first place, before he sighed and said,

“Fine. Stow the guns and douse the lamps, we’ll have to follow them quickly or we’ll lose them in the fog. I have a bad feeling that Seonghwa was right about this route being near the Isle of Mirrors, so let’s hope that’s not their destination or we’ll all be in trouble.”

The others nodded before running off to carry out his orders. As darkness enveloped the ship, the outline of the hunter ship came into view, blurred by distance but still visible. Hongjoong angled the ship to follow, Wooyoung perching in the sails above him to relay direction of he lost sight of them. The rest of them all moved silently to prepare for another possible fight or to encounter sirens. Hongjoong’s anxiety coursed through him as he thought,

‘What have we got ourselves into, Seonghwa?’

~~~

The clanging of metal and shouting voices shook Seonghwa from his slumber. His neck cracked as he lifted his head and he groaned inwardly at the dull pain coursing through him from his injuries.

Even in the light of day, the cell was cast in shadows. He could see her hanging from her wrists in front of him still, her head dropped forward in her unconsciousness. Her tail floated through the small amount of water around them, the weight of her fins brushing against his legs with the movement of the ship.

Despite their unfortunate circumstances, Seonghwa couldn’t help but admire her, in awe of seeing a siren up close. Her fins were long and dark with streaks of white, matching dark scales climbing all the way up her body, around her chest and arms, and up her neck. Pointed ears poked from under her hair as her head lolled forward, and Seonghwa remembered seeing her sharp teeth as she’d hissed at the hunters. He understood why sirens were so dangerous to sailors, she was beautiful and otherworldly, more than capable of luring a curious man off the deck of a ship.

‘But would she?’ He couldn’t help the thought of her saving him as it flashed before his eyes.

She had to have been watching the attack if she saw where he was thrown into the water. If he was already dying, why risk herself to heal him and drag him to the surface? Why not leave him there and run from the hunters? Why wouldn’t she scream to defend herself when they were caught? Was it actually because of him?

Questions swirled through Seonghwa’s mind, followed by the regrets of possibly never seeing his crew again. He wallowed in his thoughts for a while, until the slight sound of her chains had him looking up to meet her eye.

She held no anger in her eyes towards him any more, only a resigned sadness that seemed to dull them. They gazed at each other in silence for a moment before Seonghwa spoke softly,

“Thank you, for saving me. I have no other words of comfort than to say I’m sorry your kindness was rewarded this way.”

Y/N nodded gently at him, shrugging lightly, as much as she could, as if to say it wasn’t his fault. Her eyes were softer, however, when she looked at him again, and Seonghwa couldn’t help but think the hunter captain could be right about her soft spot for humans.

The stomping of boots on the wooden stairs above them drew their attention away from each other. Seonghwa watched as four hunters descended to the metal door, unlocking it and pushing it open, before they swarmed around the two prisoners as they cut them loose and dragged them up to the deck.

Pulling a hissing, struggling siren up the stairs proved to be a more difficult task than getting her down them. She was determined to fight them as much as possible and Seonghwa admired her efforts, especially since in a confined space she seemed to be rather adept with her tail.

As the hunters dragged them farther up, however, her struggling became less powerful. Seonghwa watched in amazement as her tail was getting smaller, by the time they were thrown on the deck her tail and scales were gone, and she had human legs.

His amazement turned to fear for her as he realized she was now just a naked woman on a ship full of men. His fears were confirmed as the hunters started to jeer and whistle at her as she curled up, attempting to shield herself from their eyes.

“Well, well. What do we have here?”

The hunter captain sneered at her as he crouched to her level, grabbing her hands from hiding her chest and binding them with rope in front of her. Y/N cowered from him as she tried to pull her hands away with a cry, tears prickling in her eyes at her embarrassment and fear.

“I’ve never heard of a siren growing legs once you dry her out, seems we really did catch a rare jewel.”

The captain stroked a finger against her jaw, rage rising in Seonghwa’s gut as she turned her head in disgust, trying to hide the fear trembling through her.

“You really should have screamed when you had the chance, little siren, because now we’re only going to make you cry.”

The captain growled his statement at her then, grabbing her by the hair and shoving her down onto the deck. The crew responded with vicious laughs, surrounding her and the captain. She screamed then, but it wasn’t the scream of a siren, it was a desperate cry for them to stop. The hunters holding Seonghwa grew lax and he took the chance to move.

Jumping up, he shoved the two holding him off balance. Before they even hit the deck, he shoved through the two hunters in front of him and sent a spiraling kick at the hunter captain. The man flew to the side with a huff of pain, rolling into his crew’s legs. In the confusion and shock, the hunters froze. Their moment of hesitation was all Seonghwa needed, ripping off his jacket, pulling her off her back, and covering her with it.

Their eyes met for a moment, Y/N holding the jacket around herself, before the hunters began to move again.

All shouting at once, they tried to grab Seonghwa as he surged forward to reach her face, looking as though he would cup her cheek. Their shock turned to terror as his fingers hooked beneath her gag, pulling it out of her mouth, the force of them pulling him back from her aiding him in setting her free.

She saw a smile grace the pirates face as he was pulled back after removing the gag, but again as she opened her mouth to scream, she was forced to pause.

“Not so fast, little siren!”

The hunter captain stood behind where Seonghwa now kneeled, a knife pressed across his throat again, his eyes dark as they watched her where she crouched on the deck.

“Open that pretty little mouth even a little and I’ll slit the pirate from ear to ear.”

Seonghwa watched her hesitate, trying to convey through his eyes that it was okay. He wouldn’t have freed her if he didn’t know what could happen, but she still didn’t make a sound as she struggled internally.

When she met his eyes, however, he didn’t see hesitation. It was more calculated than that, and Seonghwa realized she was plotting, perhaps a way to get them both out of this alive.

Slowly, she relaxed to be kneeling on the deck, her hands folded in her lap. She cocked her eyebrow at the hunter captain, moving her hand in a talking motion, as if asking for permission to speak.

The pressure on Seonghwa’s neck eased slightly, the captain responding,

“Use no enchantment, or the man dies. Speak, siren.”

Y/N rolled her eyes subtly, which Seonghwa couldn’t help the small smirk that crossed his face at the sight, before she spoke.

“I will use no enchantment on this ship, but only if you swear to mine and the pirates safety. I will not have you use his life to control me, hunter.”

Despite the venom in her words, her voice flowed like soothing water across their senses. Even without enchantment, Seonghwa felt he could listen to her speak for hours.

“You are in no position to give me orders, siren.”

The captain growled at her again, pulling Seonghwa’s hair sharply, causing him to wince at the sting in his scalp.

“Do you wish to find the Isle of Mirrors, or not?”

The captain and crew all froze at her words. Seonghwa could feel the shift in their attention and knew she had them right where she wanted them.

Slowly, the captain lowered the knife he held to Seonghwa. He looked at her warily, his thoughts churning in his eyes.

“You will lead us to the Isle? Why?” His voice was skeptical, not understanding her motive.

She shrugged,

“If it means you will let us go unharmed, I suppose I have no choice.”

Holding the captain’s gaze steadily, she silently challenged him with her power against his deepest desires. His gaze wavered for a moment before he finally sighed, gesturing towards his men.

“Lock them in the brig together, no need to drag her from the bilge again. As long as you keep your word, little siren, you both shall keep your heads. Take me to the Isle of Mirrors, and you will live to be the first siren released by siren hunters.”

~~~

Huddled in the brig together, Seonghwa couldn’t help but think on her deal with the hunter captain. She held an overwhelming advantage over them all with her power, and yet she struck a deal with a human for the safety of a different human? It didn’t add up.

Looking over at her, he saw she had wrapped herself tightly in his jacket, her head resting on the bars behind her, her eyes closed in exhaustion. His jaw tightened when he saw the rope burns and bruising on the part of her wrist that showed from the end of his sleeve.

Even then, Y/N could feel his eyes on her, the questions on his mind almost palpable. With a small sigh, she lifted her head to return his gaze, softly saying,

“I can hear your mind turning from here.”

Seonghwa held her eyes, thinking of what to ask her first.

“Before your questions,” she said, “thank you for protecting me from them.”

He scoffed lightly at that, shaking his head.

“You saved my life, I think defending you from them is only right. Besides, now you’re doing baffling things like bargain with humans. I’ve never met a siren before, but you are unlike every tale I’ve ever heard of them.”

She looked down with an almost bitter smile, saying,

“I am unlike the sirens in those tales, so I suppose that makes sense.”

He waited, a curious expression hopefully helping her to elaborate. When she didn’t continue, he asked quietly,

“I’ve never heard of a siren having legs before either, is that something all sirens can do?”

She debated telling him anything for a moment, her fingers twisting together as she sorted through her thoughts. Finally she sighed,

“No. It’s not something all sirens can do, but I am only half-siren, so outside of the sea I am able to survive with the people of my father.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widened in shock. ‘Half-siren? How is that even possible?’

His thoughts must have showed on his face, because she chuckled at him before saying,

“It’s true. My mother was a siren who fell in love with a pirate. For that, she was banished, and by association so was I.”

Her eyes turned almost shy for a moment as she continued,

“Which might be why I ended up in trouble for following a pirate ship, now that I consider it.”

Seonghwa suddenly remembered the feeling of being watched before they were attacked. He’d convinced himself that he was imagining things, but now he knew he had seen something in the water.

“You were following us?”

She nodded, slightly unsure of how he would react to the idea of her following them. Apparently he hadn’t seen her then.

“Only out of curiosity, I promise I had no ill intent. It’s rare that there’s anyone other than the siren hunters sailing through these waters, and I couldn’t help myself.”

He also nodded, his face thoughtful about what she’d told him.

“I suppose I owe your curiosity ‘thanks’ then, as I would have drowned and/or bled to death had you not come to the surface. Though currently, I’m not sure I have much to offer you in that ‘thanks’.”

He said the last part with a wry smile, gaining a smile from her in return as she again shook her head saying,

“You needn’t offer me anything in exchange. You have protected me from them, and don’t forget your very life is protecting me from them still. Besides, I took your jacket as well.”

He laughed genuinely at that.

“This is true. Perhaps I’ll give you my name as well, and if I gain yours in exchange, I’ll consider us even.”

Seonghwa gave her a cheeky smile and wiggled his eyebrows playfully, pulling a small giggle from her as she rolled her eyes at him.

“Go on then,” she said with a sparkle in her eye.

He leaned forward and extended his hand to her. She hesitated for only a moment before reaching out and grasping his offered hand softly.

“Hello, my name is Seonghwa, its an honor to meet you.”

She smiled at him shyly at his use of ‘honor’.

“Hello, Seonghwa, my name is Y/N, and the honor is mine.”

They shook hands gently for a moment before she sat back and curled into his jacket again. He looked thoughtfully for a moment before he asked the question at the front of his mind now.

“Will you truly lead them to the Isle of Mirrors?”

Her face turned serious, her gaze on him steady before she looked around to see if the hunters were listening.

“The Isle is treacherous for many reasons. Should they survive the rocky waters around the land itself, there is still the creatures in and around the Isle that were made to protect it’s secrets. The tales that tell of a hidden treasure are deceiving as the only treasure is the living heart of the Isle itself, and it will do anything to protect itself. The real reason they need me is the Isle can only be soothed by the call of a siren, the magic that hides the Isle from the world falling away in a moment of calm to reveal the path to it’s heart.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widened, he’d heard many tales of the Isle of Mirrors as a child and then more varied ones when older as he sailed around, but never had they mentioned that a siren was the key to finding it or entering it alive.

“It’s folly, however,” she said lowly, “the Isle is a place of madness and illusion, one that no human ever leaves alive. The Isle itself exists to trap and consume ignorant humans, feeding from the energy they hold as the humans wander an endless landscape of horror and reflections.”

She looked up to meet his eye.

“Leading them to the Isle will be easier than trying to kill them ourselves, so long as we also survive the journey.”

Seonghwa nodded slowly, warming up to her reasoning on leading the hunters to their desired destination. He shuffled until he was more comfortable, mirroring her in laying his head back against the bars of their cell.

“I suppose we should rest while we can then,” he said, “No knowing what will happen next until we arrive at the Isle or perish.”

~~~

Two days passed of fog and silence. The hunter ship glided through the waters surrounding the Isle with irritating ease. The captain had sailed the waters before and arrived all the way at the gate before he realized a siren was the key to entering, so the return journey was a simple matter.

The ship came to a halt in the bay of a fogged and gray island, the sands black and littered with the bones of various small fish and creatures. Slatted rock began farther inland from the sand, deep pools of crystal clear water glowing with luminescent sea life pocked throughout the rock leading away into the fog.

The hunters stormed down the stairs to the brig, unlocking the door, and roughly pulled them both to their feet. Seonghwa caught her as she stumbled up the stairs, her hands coming back to cover his on her hips, before she was ripped away from him by the hunters and thrown onto the deck. She had told him that although she had legs now, she rarely walked on land and did not have the strength to for a long distance. This showed as her legs gave out when they shoved her, her knees hitting the wood with a painful thud as she landed hard.

“Stop! You swore her no harm.”

Seonghwa shouted at them, being pulled back and restrained as he lunged for the hunter that shoved her.

The hunters all cackled, jeering at her and him, but they left her alone as their captain appeared, his voice breaking through the mockery,

“Those chosen, all ashore. Get the prisoners into the longboat, the rest of you await our return and guard the ship.”

They were grabbed and forced into the longboat, Seonghwa’s hands tied behind his back, hers tied before her and held on a rope by the hunter captain. The hunters rowed them ashore, the black sand scraping the underside of the boat as they slid onto the beach.

Jumping from the boat, the hunter behind him pulled Seonghwa roughly onto the sand as the rest of the hunters jumped out. The captain pulled her out of the boat with him, her legs crumbling again as he set her on the sand, her tied hands barely catching her.

“Get. Up.”

He snarled at her, yanking the rope around her wrists. She glared up at him.

“I cannot. I may have legs but I cannot walk like a human.”

The hunter stared at her for a moment before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a pistol. He aimed it between her eyes, cocking the gun and saying,

“Walk or die.”

Seonghwa struggled against the hunter holding him as she only glared up at the hunter captain in defiance.

“Kill me and you will never see the Isle of Mirrors.”

Tension rose thick between the two as the captain crouched to be at her eye level, his pistol pushing under her chin enough to raise her head slightly.

“Walk. Or. Die.”

“Enough! I will carry her.”

The tension broke and all eyes turned to Seonghwa as he spoke, but he only looked at her and the captain.

“I will carry her,” he said again, challenging the captain with his eyes to disagree.

The captain stood, glaring at him, before he nodded at the hunters holding Seonghwa. They released him and he immediately stooped down to her and offered his arms. He raised an eyebrow at her as she glared at him lightly, but she reached out to weave her arms around his neck, his own sliding under her bent knees and around her back. He stood again, holding her bridal style, and glared haughtily at the hunters.

“You were in a hurry, yes?”

“Do not fall behind.” The captain put away his gun, motioning into the fog. “Onward! To the Mist Gate.”

Inland they trekked, almost half a day passing as they wandered through endless fog, their guiding point being the bank of a small river that rushed to the sea from farther ahead of them. The glowing pools still pocked the black stone as they went, the luminescence from them providing an eerie light. The eerie atmosphere grew worse when they heard the sounds of beasts moving around them, calling to each other from far off. The faint sound of a waterfall could eventually be heard, and Seonghwa felt her growing tense in his arms as the sound grew louder.

“Are you alright?” He whispered to her, nudging her head gently with his own.

She nodded, “I can feel us growing closer to the gate. The island has a very strong presence, and because it can be soothed with the song of a siren, it is naturally cautious of them and it makes me feel sick the closer we go. It is not terrible but it certainly isn’t comfortable.”

He rubbed his thumb over her waist soothingly.

“Hopefully this will all be over soon,” he said.

“And then what?” She looked up at him. “How are we going to get out of here, Seonghwa?”

“Have faith in me, little siren, I will get you back to the sea. I promise.”

She gazed at him for a moment more before nodding and settling into his arms again.

“We shall leave this place together,” she said softly. Seonghwa couldn’t help the way his heart clenched at her words, hoping with his entire being that she was right.

~~~

Farther into their journey, the fog cleared as they stepped into the windy ending of a towering waterfall. The craggy black rock that surrounded their journey abruptly shot into the sky as a formidably sloped cliff face, presumably the base of the island’s central mountain. The water thundered into the beginning of the river they had been following, misting across the rock face and into the pools below the falls, and painting everything around them in a shimmering light as it refracted the glowing in the pools.

“Behold,” the hunter captain said, “the Mist Gate.”

The hunters all murmured amongst themselves as Y/n and Seonghwa looked at each other, a shared nervousness in their eyes.

The captain turned his pistol on Seonghwa then, aiming at his head,

“Alright, pirate, put the siren down.”

Seonghwa glared at him for a moment, considering if he had any option to escape with her, but when the captain cocked the pistol he leaned to gently set her feet on the ground. He still held her around the waist, knowing if he let go too quickly she would fall. Before she was steady, however, the captain motioned to his men with his pistol and the hunters moved forward to grab them and pull them apart. Seonghwa grunted as they shoved him to his knees and bound his hands in front of him, glaring as the rest pulled her over to a larger pool with a sturdy wooden post driven into the rock itself. She struggled as they pushed her to sit on the edge of the pool, her hands held behind her by two hunters while the captain crouched to be at her eye level.

He gripped her jaw tightly, turning her to look at him.

“This is your chance, little siren. Open the Mist Gate and allow us into the Isle of Mirrors, and perhaps I will loose you into these very pools where your freedom lies where the tunnels meet the sea.”

He released her jaw as she glared at him, her mind turning over his comment on the tunnels to the sea. Her toes hardly touched the water, but it was enough to tell.

‘It does feel like salt water,’ she thought, ‘perhaps the pools are actually fed by the ocean and not the falls. How convenient.’

She looked at Seonghwa briefly, his gentle nod the sign she needed, before she turned back to the hunter captain.

“I have to be in the water to sing properly, and you will all have to plug your ears very well.”

The captain nodded at her and then at the hunters holding her. They ripped Seonghwa’s jacket off her shoulders, tossing it back at him with a sneer while he cried out in anger, before they pushed her into the pool. They didn’t release her arms, however, and they quickly pulled her over to the post on the edge, securing her wrists and keeping some of her upper body out of the water. She hissed angrily, her tail forming before their eyes and splashing in the pool as she struggled.

“Release me! Or you will never see the Isle.”

“I’m not so much a fool as to let you into these pools freely without getting what I desire first.” The captain leered at her, the other hunters chuckling at her mockingly.

“Sing and open the gate. On my word, you’ll be untied before we enter.”

“And the pirate?” She glared at the captain, but couldn’t help the quick look that she gave Seonghwa.

The captain laughed mockingly again,

“Worry for your own life more, little siren, the pirate will be fine.”

Seonghwa met her worried eyes with a look of reassurance. Whatever the hunters had planned for them didn’t worry him, he would fight them the first chance he could get and he would get them both to freedom.

The hunters began passing around a small wood container, pulling out its contents and pushing them deep into their ears. Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at the hunter that moved to put them in his ears.

“Beeswax.” The hunter motioned for him to sit still. Before his hearing disappeared, he heard the captain say,

“Go on, earn your freedom.”

The world faded into the dull roar of the blood in his ears, coupled with the thunder of the waterfall. He saw her gaze at him one more time before she took a deep breath, her eyes glowing as she opened her mouth.

Though he couldn’t hear her, Seonghwa could feel her voice all around him. The very air wavered as she sang, a pressure building as the mists started to part. He couldn’t tear his eyes from her, the vision of her at the height of her power searing itself into his mind forever, even deaf he could feel himself falling under her spell.

The pressure reached a peak as she paused to take another breath. Her head fell back slightly and her eyes fell half closed as she released the breath into a song that the men felt in their bones, the melody seemingly flowing into the very rock above them. The island itself seemed to shudder for a moment before a gust of wind tore through the waterfall, parting the waters before settling into a strong breeze that seemed to open the falls.

Y/n slumped into the water slightly as the glow faded from her eyes. She looked over to see all of the hunters gazing at the falls in wonder, their various shouts of joy echoing off the black rocks as they removed their ear plugs. One gaze, however, was looking only at her, but with the same awe. She met Seonghwa’s eye and couldn’t help the blush that dusted her face at his soft smile.

“At last, we’ve made it.” The hunter captain spoke lowly, but all his men quieted to listen.

“Your promise, hunter?”

They all turned at her call, the captain looking at her thoughtfully before he leaned to one of his men, whispering something. The hunter approached her then, kneeling as if he were to unbind her, but instead grabbing her hair harshly. With her cry of pain, he shoved a gag in her mouth quickly, tying it around her head and jumping back as she thrashed.

“You fucking bastards!”

Seonghwa shouted at the hunters, pulling against the ones restraining him. The captain stepped toward him swiftly, his knee coming up to squarely hit Seonghwa in the stomach. The wind huffed out of his lungs and he fell to his knees, gasping to try and regain his breath. They gagged him roughly, pulling him to his feet again to face the captain.

“Shut your fucking mouth. You’re lucky we don’t slit your throat and throw you in the pool with her for entertainment. You’re coming with us, though, just in case we meet a beasty that needs some dinner.”

The hunters all chuckled cruelly as they pushed him along, the captain ordering them all to move toward the gate. Seonghwa struggled and looked back at her, watching her own struggle and catching her eye as tears streaked down her face. His gut twisted with a feeling of dread, if they succeeded in taking him into the Isle, they were both going to die.

She continued to struggle as she watched them disappear into the mists. Tears ran down her cheeks as she imagined the fate of creatures found by the beasts of the island, hungry and searching for dinner near these pools. Her heart ached more for her pirate, the thought that he would be trapped and consumed by the Isle, that she would never see him again, had more tears streaming down her face.

Y/n struggled and struggled until she was exhausted, her arms and wrists sore and bruised again. Finally she stopped, slumping into the water again with a defeated sob, her head and body aching now from her struggle and the strain of soothing an entire living island. Her tears slowed, but even as her eyes closed in defeat and exhaustion, the tears still dripped into the water around her.

~~~

The banks of the river became increasingly more treacherous as the hunters slowly moved toward the gate. The fog had settled again once the falls had opened, making it clear to see where the fog ended abruptly at the gates opening.

Seonghwa felt the air around them shift, as if the magic holding the gate open was beginning to strain. The captain motioned for them all to hurry, moving along the rocks at a dangerous pace.

Right before they reached the entrance to the gate, the water of the river suddenly erupted. A giant serpent curled from the water, swiping two hunters into the churning river. As thick around as an oak tree and long enough to wrap around a ship with ease, the serpent hissed and began to coil for another strike as the hunters all shouted and tried to brandish their weapons.

Seonghwa took his chance to escape as the hunters holding him panicked. He swung his bound hands around like a club, bashing the side of one of his captors heads. The other turned to him in anger, momentarily forgetting about the threat of the snake. He swung his sword at Seonghwa, but with the limited space to step along the river bank, Seonghwa was easily able to turn and avoid the blade. He caught the sword in fact, and when the hunter pulled it away from him, the ropes around his wrists were cut.

Pulling his hands free, Seonghwa made the mistake of trying to take out his gag before running. Catching him off guard, the hunter managed to jab his sword at Seonghwa again, slicing through his side that had only recently healed.

Seonghwa cried out in pain, swinging his now free hands and punching the hunter into the river. The other hunters and their captain were all still struggling to fight the giant serpent, some of them having made it into the gate. The gate seemed to be protecting them from the snake, so as they all rushed to enter the gate for safety, Seonghwa pressed his hand into his side and turned to run toward the pools again.

Losing blood was never fun, but Seonghwa hadn’t exactly regained all of the blood he lost from the first injury. As he ran, he could feel the lightness in his head, but he rested for only a moment, determined to get back to her and set her free before he bled to death.

Stumbling slightly, he found the pools where they had left her. She was no longer struggling and, for a moment, Seonghwa feared she was somehow dead.

“Y/n?”

He knelt next to the pool, reaching out with his not bloody hand to pull the gag from her mouth.

“Y/n?”

He called again as he began to untie her wrists. When she didn’t respond still, he couldn’t help but start to panic slightly. Lying at the edge of the pool carefully, he cupped her head gently as he submerged the rest of her body, only holding her face above the surface.

“Please,” he whispered, “please come back. You said we would leave here together.”

Stroking his thumb across her cheek, he felt her face move slightly before her eyes were fluttering open and a small gasp left her parted lips. Her eyes focused on him and she blinked a few times before she smiled.

“Seonghwa?”

Her breathless question was met with his relieved laugh. She gripped his wrist as she righted herself in the water.

“How did you get away?”

“There was a guardian at the gate, it seems. A giant serpent that the hunters were fighting as I made my escape.”

She chuckled lowly, glad that the island was defending itself at last. Her senses sharpened at the smell of blood, however, and her face morphed into worry as she put her hands on the rock below him, beginning to inspect what she could see of Seonghwa.

“You’re hurt? Show me, Seonghwa, I can help you.”

He shook his head and gazed at her fondly. He leaned down so his face was right above hers.

“I will live with this injury, beautiful siren,” he said softly to her, “but there is one thing I seek that only you may grant me.”

Her cheeks reddened slightly at his compliment, her gaze turning curious as she bobbed slowly in the pool.

“And what would you seek more than a healed body?”

“Forgiveness,” he said, “If not for me, you would never have been captured. None of this would have happened to you had you not risked yourself for me.”

She rolled her eyes playfully, before coming out of the water far enough that their faces nearly touched.

“I already granted you my forgiveness, Seonghwa, but I wish to grant you something else in exchange for granting me my freedom.”

He raised an eyebrow at her now, a small smile on his face.

“And what is it you wish to grant me, Y/n?”

She came up farther, her hand sliding around the back of his neck, the other holding herself up on the rock. Their lips brushed as she whispered,

“Your freedom.”

The gap closed between them and he couldn’t help but hum happily as they kissed. He felt her own smile against his lips, and then he was being pulled into the pool with her, his moment of panic squashed by her tongue coaxing his lips open. She submerged them both, her powerful tail holding them steady below the water as his arms wrapped around her to kiss her deeper.

When he finally pulled back for air, he unintentionally gasped, forgetting where he was. Instead of the horrid sting of salt water in his lungs, Seonghwa could breathe. He looked at her with wide eyes, a cheeky smile on her face as she watched him realize he could breathe underwater.

She leaned her forehead against his, and his eyes widened again when he heard her voice in his head.

‘Are you okay, Seonghwa?’

It sounded like she was speaking to him, but her mouth never moved. His fascination grew as she showed him more of her true self.

‘So the legends about a kiss from a siren are true? And I can hear your thoughts?’

She giggled at him, her smile captivating him for a moment as he could finally see all of her scales and her teeth. She was startlingly beautiful.

‘Yes the legend about a kiss from a siren protecting you from drowning is true. We can only talk like this underwater though, it’s easier than speaking out loud.’

Seonghwa cupped her chin gently, lifting her head so he could reach her lips again.

‘Good, then I can talk, breathe, and kiss you underwater, all at the same time.’

Y/n couldn’t help but giggle at him again as he kissed her passionately. Any doubt she had about this pirate vanished the moment he came back for her. She slid her hand to his side while they kissed, channeling her power to heal him once more. It was easier this time as she was fully in the sea, and he was accepting her willingly.

They parted again as Seonghwa looked down at her healing him. After the bleeding had stopped and he could feel it mostly healed, he gripped her wrist gently to stop her. He kissed her palm before she could protest.

‘Don’t strain yourself more for me, beautiful, we still have to get back to the ocean.’

She gazed at him sternly, softness hidden in her eyes, before she nodded and looped her arms around him.

Turning them both to face down into the tunnel, her tail swished and they began to descend into the maze below the island’s surface. Seonghwa couldn’t see in the dark waters like she could, so after a while he simply closed his eyes and held her tightly, trusting her to pull him safely out.

Luckily the pool they had tied her in was linked to a tunnel wide enough for them both. After an unknown time, the water began to lighten again. Seonghwa opened his eyes to see a light far above them at the end of the tunnel.

‘Is that it? Our way out?’

She nodded, her tail pushing harder as they ascended.

‘I’m not sure what’s at the end, but it has to be better than where we were.’

He silently agreed with her as they rose higher into what he realized was sunlight. Suddenly the tunnel ended, popping them out of the side of a rock face into open water. The bottom was close but still a few feet away, the sides rising sharply like the edges of a large pool. Evening sunlight filtered into the water, the patterns dancing across the sand below them and over their skin.

Pushing towards the surface, their heads breached as they both looked around. They were in a cave that was open on one side to the sea. Soft sands lined the inside of the cave that wasn’t submerged, Seonghwa looked in awe at the crystal clear water and reflections shimmering across the cave ceiling like a mirage.

“Oh!” She gasped suddenly, whipping around to look from the mouth of the cave. “I know where we are!”

“Really?”

She nodded quickly, “I’ve explored this cave before, it isn’t too far from where your ship was attacked.”

Seonghwa felt relief flood through him and he couldn’t help the delighted laugh that bubbled out of him. Laughing with him, she twirled around him in the water, playfully brushing her fins against him as he swam for the sand at the waters edge.

Pulling himself out of the water, he flopped onto his back on the sand and sighed happily. She swam up next to him, leaning on her elbows with her tail still in the water.

“Quite the adventure, wouldn’t you say, pirate?”

He rolled his eyes at her sarcastic comment, causing her to laugh at him again.

“Indeed quite the adventure, siren. Ship battles, legendary creatures and treasures, a kiss from a siren, what more adventure could a pirate ask for?”

Though he had started sarcastic, his voice was soft by the end of his words. He had turned his head to look at her, finding her leaning on her hand already gazing at him. She looked thoughtful, almost conflicted, and he raised an eyebrow at her in question.

Instead of a verbal answer, Seonghwa watched in fascination as her tail transformed into her legs again and she crawled slowly out of the water until she was naked on top of him. Her eyes never leaving his, Seonghwa felt trapped in her gaze in the best way. His hands lifted slowly to caress her sides as she straddled him, her lips inches from his as she whispered.

“What more could he ask for?”

Seonghwa’s breath hitched, his heart beating wildly as he gripped her waist a little tighter. Her lips brushed his again.

“My pirate could ask me for everything.”

Seonghwa groaned deeply as she kissed him. He slid his arms around her fully, pulling her down to be flush against his body.

Her pirate. Her pirate. Her pirate.

His grip around her grew possessive, her tongue sliding into his mouth as he pulled her naked core against his swelling cock. Her gasp of pleasure against his lips had his head spinning, the need to feel her skin on his becoming overwhelming.

He threaded a hand into her hair to pull her head back, a whine slipping from her as she chased his lips. They panted lightly as he gazed at her with lidded eyes before he spoke hoarsely.

“I need to feel you, beautiful, I may die otherwise. Please use me?”

Y/n felt herself flush as his request, already nodding as she slid her hands up his chest and began to unbutton his shirt. His hands wandered over her body, sliding up her hips and sides before slipping under her breasts and cupping them gently. She gasped softly at the feeling, her hips rolling against him slightly as he pinched and rolled her nipples. He could feel her excitement soaking warmth through his already wet pants, his own excitement growing with her little gasps and moans.

He sat up with her in his lap as she helped him peel off his wet shirt. He trailed hot kisses across her jaw and down her neck once her arms went around him, her head falling back in pleasure and her fingers digging into his back lightly to support herself. She ground her hips against him again, harder this time, and the groan he released had her scrambling to undo his trousers. She understood his sentiment about dying should she not get to feel him inside of her.

Seonghwa huffed in amusement as she rushed to release his cock. He gripped her wrists lightly to stop her and pulled so her arms were around his neck again.

“Hold onto me first, I want to make sure you’re ready.”

Before she could ask what he meant, she gasped as he slid two of his fingers into her with little resistance. He kissed her to swallow the whine she released when he crooked his fingers to press on her soft pleasure spot, her knees bending more due to the pleasure but that only served to push his fingers into her farther. He pushed his fingers in and out, scissoring them as his thumb rolled over her clit, her arms tightening around him and her moans increasing giving him a clear sign that her orgasm was near.

“Cum for me, beautiful, you deserve it for being so good to me.”

“Seonghwa!~*gasp*”

Her head fell back as she trembled in his lap, pleasure coursing through her veins as she came undone, soaking Seonghwa’s fingers and trousers. He worked his fingers in her slowly as she came down from her high, pulling them out slowly and immediately sticking them into his mouth. Her cheeks reddened more at the shameless groan of appreciation he let out before pulling him into a filthy kiss. She rubbed herself against his cock again harder, pushing her tongue in his mouth ravenously as she reached between them to align his head at her entrance.

Still swirling her tongue around his, they both moaned as she slowly sank herself onto his cock. Once fully seated, they parted with a gasp, a breathy whimper escaping her as she felt him so deep in her.

“So deep, Seonghwa,” she whined.

He groaned at her words, his hands sliding to grip her hips tightly.

“Yeah? Feel so good around me, beautiful, can you feel me right there?”

He pressed gently on the slight bulge of his cock in her, her head falling back as she keened at the feeling.

“Fuck! Move please, Hwa!”

He smirked, feeling his heart flutter at the nickname from her, before he kissed her gently and laid back onto the sand.

“I’m yours, beautiful siren, use me as you wish.”

She looked at him fondly before taking the lead, her hands on his chest to hold herself up, grinding over him gently for a moment to adjust before lifting herself off his cock and sliding back down.

A shiver racked through Seonghwa and he gripped her hips in support as she began to use him for her pleasure, though it was definitely his pleasure too. His mind was hazy with desire, the pleasure from the pace she’d set sparking through his body every time her ass met his hips. The image of her riding him framed by the sunset and clear water with a soft look of ecstasy on her face had etched itself into his memory forever, and he felt he was as close to heaven as a man like him could ever get.

Her legs began to tremble as her second orgasm built. Her pace faltered and she was fighting her own pleasure shaking through her. She reached to cover his hands on her hips, his grip lifting her slightly before he thrust up into her, gasping as he hit a new depth with his strength.

“Ahh!~”

“Getting tired, beautiful? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you now.”

He moaned as she clenched around him with the change in his pace, her moans and cries echoing from the cave walls. His thrusts faltered as he neared his own climax, her whimper catching his attention.

“Kiss me, Seonghwa, please!”

He pulled her down to him, kissing her deeply as they both moaned from the change in angle. He gripped her ass tightly in both hands as his thrusts grew desperate the more they kissed.

They parted and simply gasped against each others lips as their pleasure reached it’s peak.

“Cum with me, my beautiful siren, please.”

His whisper seemed to push her over the edge. She tensed in his arms, her scream of pleasure turned silent in it’s intensity. The way her cunt clenched sent Seonghwa spiraling into his own pleasure, he pulled her hips flush to him as he moaned brokenly, spilling into her as deep as he could.

For a moment, time was suspended as they basked in their pleasure. She slowly lowered herself to be laying fully on his chest, his hands coming around her to rub her back soothingly. They caught their breath as they watched the sun begin to slip below the horizon, the water lapping at the rocks in a way that almost lulled them both to sleep.

“Thank you, Y/n.”

She lifted her head to look at him curiously.

“I know it was my fault you were captured, but thank you for saving me, I’m awfully happy that I met you.”

She smiled softly at him before leaning up to kiss him.

“I’m very glad I met you as well, Seonghwa. I don’t even mind the adventure we had because of it, since the ending of our adventure led to us having each other like this.”

He stroked her cheek with an adoring smile before a thought occurred to him, a sad look crossing his face.

“Must we say goodbye now?”

She immediately shook her head, kissing him again.

“If you will have me again and again, I will be yours as long as we wish. I’m afraid I’ve grown rather attached to you.”

His adoring and happy smile returned, and he kissed her back. She pulled back after a moment to brush his hair from his face.

“I will find your ship and bring them here, I imagine they are quite worried about you.”

Seonghwa’s brow creased, the sea was vast and it could be difficult to find the Inception again.

“How long will that take?”

“Not long. Don’t worry, I have my ways.”

She smirked coyly at him before kissing his nose and sitting up. He groaned slightly as the angle change had her clenching around him. He gripped her hips again softly, grinding her against him which made her gasp. He smirked at her before doing it again, feeling himself grow hard inside her again.

“They can wait a little longer for you to find them, can’t they?”

~~~

Endlessly sailing through the fog was grating on Hongjoong and the entire crew. Wooyoung and San had been consoling each other when they thought he couldn’t hear them, Jongho and Mingi were unusually quiet and on edge, Yeosang was trying to keep the peace with them all, and he regularly would find Yunho staring into the water, searching for any sign of something different.

After three days, Hongjoong had almost given up. If they couldn’t escape this fog, they would run out of food and starve in this gray wasteland. He was the only one on deck other than Yeosang, who stood off the bow with a telescope, searching in vain for anything in the fog.

Suddenly he heard a splash, and a soft voice rang through the silence.

“Captain Hongjoong?”

He whipped his head around, looking into the water below him. His eyes widened to see a beautiful woman, her scales visible even in the low light.

‘A siren?’

When he didn’t answer, she tried again.

“You are Captain Hongjoong, correct?”

Still stunned, Hongjoong nodded. A bright smile graced her lips, one he couldn’t help but mirror. Before she could speak again, they both heard the stomping of feet running up the stairs from below deck. The door burst open and the rest of his crew tumbled to the edge to look over. They all gasped and talked over each other, causing her to sink back into the water slightly in alarm from their sudden appearance.

“Shut up you fools, you’re scaring her.”

She chuckled quietly at the captain’s words.

“Not scared, just startled a bit.”

They all quieted slightly but the tall one with blonde hair looked at her excitedly before he said,

“You’re the one who saved Seonghwa, aren’t you?”

“Yes I am,” she nodded with a smile on her face.

“How did you escape? Where’s Seonghwa? What happened to the hunter’s and their ship? Can you lead us out of the fog?”

All of them rattled questions off to her in such quick succession that she wasn’t sure who was asking them anymore. She looked back and forth between them all with a bewildered look before Hongjoong snapped at them to be quiet again.

“Yes,” she said with a laugh, “I will lead you out of the fog and to your lost crew mate. The edge of the fog is not far, and Seonghwa waits in a cave not far beyond there. The rest of the story is much too grand to be shouted over the railing in this gloomy fog, so I shall let him share the tale with you upon your reunion.”

The crew practically cheered at her words, a smile spreading over Hongjoong’s face as well, relief spreading through him to hear her say that Seonghwa was alive.

“Snap to, all of you!” Hongjoong shouted orders as they all scrambled to coax more speed from the sails of their ship.

“Wooyoung! Keep an eye on our pretty guide, make sure we don’t lose her in this fog.”

“Aye, Captain!”

The young deck hand swung into the mast above him, calling down with a laugh as he waved at her.

“I don’t think we’ll have to worry about losing her Captain, she’s swimming circles around the ship.”

Hongjoong smiled at her when she caught his eye, her captivating laugh lightening the crew’s entire mood as they sailed behind her to freedom.

~~~

Seonghwa rested comfortably on the sands of the cave, his desire well sated, and his hunger ebbing due to the fruits she had brought him before her departure. He dozed in and out, so he was unsure of how much time had passed before he was awoken by the splashing of something in the water near him and the feeling of soft hands brushing his hair from his face.

He opened his eyes to see her smiling down at him, motioning with her head for him to look behind her. Lifting his head, he felt tears prick his eyes as he saw the silhouette of a ship sailing towards them backed by the sunrise.

He kissed her deeply as she brushed her thumbs under his eyes, drying his tears of relief.

“Come, my pirate,” she said softly when he pulled back. “It’s time for you to go home.”

~~~

[a-tiny-thing]

Crystal Clear (Hongjoong x Reader) 600 Followers Special

Summary: Heartbroken and abandoned on what was supposed to be your perfect couple's getaway, you find yourself alone in the city of Lisbon, spending your days pathetically at your resort's bar. That is until you meet Hongjoong, a carefree, wild soul, who's nothing like you. When he promises to help you forget your heartbreak in one night, you uncharacteristically let him.

Word Count: 13.93k

Genre/Warning: freespririt!hongjoong x uptight!reader, smut (MDNI!!!), angst, fluff, heavy topics (life, death, financial insecurity, drowning, depression), alcohol consumption, sexual fruit consumption (lol???), inaccurate motorcycle anatomy, protected sex (pls practice safe sex pls), some humping, oral (m&f receiving), teeny bit of manhandling, multiple orgasms, praise, softdom!joong (heh), far too many commas, not great verb consistency, I am NOT portuguese so there will most likely be some inaccuracies on that end!

Author's Note: Surprise! Or at least I'm hoping it is, considering I did mention this fic in an ask some weeks ago hehe. I wanted to release this fic when I reached 600 followers, but I got to 600 before I was able to finish the fic lol. I'm so so SO thankful for the 634 people here enjoying my work as of now! This is my second HJ fic, and I really hope you guys enjoy it <33

🎧 playlist 🎧: hayley williams: crystal clear 🍊 maye: tú 🍊 childish gambino: 1. pink toes 🍊 hyukoh: mer 🍊 wave to earth: bonfire 🍊 hayley williams: why we ever 🍊 nct 127: focus 🍊 dosii: the one exists in my memories 🍊 tyla: no. 1

This is a work of fiction, and it is not meant to be a realistic representation of any real person mentioned in any way, shape, or form.

The beirão you’d ordered had been slowly getting watered down as the square block of ice melted away in the oblong glass. Still, you uselessly stir the contents, eyeing the growing crowd at the resort’s lounge. Some couples were indulging in the large selection of alcohol besides you, while others were occupied in the array of appetizing finger snacks laid out in a buffet style in the center of the lounge.

Unnerved, you lift the glass to your lips, taking a generous sip, but are quick to grimace at the bitterly diluted taste. Disappointed, you set the stirrer against the side of the glass, asking the bartender, Miguel, for a fresh drink instead. Taking the cup from you, he immediately begins pouring another drink for you.

From your raised stool seat, you turn your back to the bar, looking out the artificial blue of the pool on the floor below you. Men and women, many in the best physical shape in their life, were entering and exiting the pool, some wanting a dip in the refreshing water just one more time while others had exhausted themselves and were looking forward to dinner. 

Just beyond the pool, you spot the ocean glimmering with the setting sun, the brilliant rays splattering majestically among the rippled surface of the true blue water. It was a picturesque scene; soft silhouettes of the soaring birds felt painted against the yellow and orange skies. The palette of colors was too perfect for it to be anything less than glorious. 

The sight causes you to still, and for some seconds, your eyes follow a bird that dives bravely into the water below. You hold your breath, until it once again breaks the surface, ascending high into the watercolor sky. As it joins the rest of the flock above, you watch it circle around another bird, happily flapping its wings. 

“Senhora?” In the blink of an eye, you lose sight of the bird, a chilly breeze washing over the open floor of the lounge. You turn back to the bartender, who waits with a beirão on the rocks for you. The couples that were once next to you, had now disappeared off to their tables, leaving the bar deserted besides a few stragglers who’d not yet left, including you. 

Another breeze blows, and somehow, you feel it go straight through you, making you shiver inwardly. With a grateful smile, you slide the cup closer to you, taking a much smaller sip. The citrusy liquor slides down your throat with ease, instantly warming your body.

Miguel looks around at the filling tables of the lounge. 6 o’clock was only some short minutes away, signaling the start of dinner at the resort. “Senhora, would you like to be seated at a table? Dinner will be starting shortly” he asks, even though he already knows how you’ll answer.

Over your shoulder, you spot the tables occupied by couples. The tables in the lounge seated four, and conveniently left without a partner, and in favor of not ruining a random couple’s night or your own, you decide to decline the offer. But Miguel had asked anyway, just as he did the night before. And the night before that. 

Of course, getting broken up with only hours before your 3rd anniversary was not ideal, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t see it coming. You were just glad it happened the day before you meant to leave for Lisbon. 

“I’m alright, Miguel, thank you,” you send him another smile before turning away from him once again. As hard as you’ve tried to look past the pitiful looks or awkward encounters when you show up to pre-scheduled couple's activities alone, it’d become easier to remove yourself from the situation altogether. 

First, you’d thought it would be fun to lie. “Oh, where’s Mr. Park? He cheated on me with his whore of a mistress, got her pregnant, and won’t be joining us for the wine tasting today” or maybe, “Mr. Park was unfortunately forced to marry his long-term family friends’ daughter, take over their technology empire, and that is why he will be unable to make it to today’s hot stone massage.”

But those were obvious lies, and once the unassuming masseuses and wine connoisseurs moved past their initial confusion, pity was all too happy to take its place every single time. So you stopped attending the activities you’d planned. Maybe it was out of self-preservation, but you were sure it was mainly to wallow in the truth of the situation. Because the truth was so much more indignantly heartbreaking.

He had simply fallen out of love. 

This was a fact you had known for longer than you’d care to admit. 

But this trip was supposed to fix that. 

You’d secretly purchased tickets for the both of you, even taking the liberty to pack both of your bags as safely as you could to the brim with new clothes for the two of you. You’d taken an unprecedentedly ample time of two weeks off from work and had even told your families you would not be easily reached during this time. You’d expected to shower him with an outpouring of your love, apologetically, to make up for the time lost. 

For the times you’d spent buried in work at your office instead of being on dates. For the times you’d been short with him instead of acknowledging you both had things going on. For the times you’d ignored him to prepare for meetings with other companies instead of being there for him when he needed you most. 

But you guess you can’t fix what’s already been broken too many times.

Ironically, the day you decide to make up for your shortcomings is the same day he decided he’d had enough of them. So you silently sit as he makes the breakup amicable and respectful as possible, telling you that neither of you are to blame, that these things just sometimes happen. 

But you wished he had gotten angry, that he’d told you off for being so selfish, too driven by the money that came with your job. But he didn’t. And that made it so much worse. 

So you sat there on your couch as he gathered what he could in the short time he had before you’d come home, as he told you he’d come for the rest of things later, as he told you he was leaving, as he wished you the best, as the moon set, and as the sun rose. 

Some hours before your flight was meant to take off, your body had moved itself, grabbing your pre-packed luggages and passport, arriving at the airport just as if you would’ve. You’d gone through the trouble and your deposits were long past their full refund date, so you decided going was the least you could do. Maybe you’d even appreciate it so much that you take more time for yourself in the future.

But now, sitting here in the lounge of your resort, tasting the salty ocean in each breath, feeling the breeze of the early fall weather, and smelling the liquors, you really felt more pathetic than anything. 

Sure, the couple's activities were a big part of it, but after spending your time on the vast property of the resort, it felt miserable to return to a romantic suite. Despite your request of not leaving a trail of rose petals leading to the bed, you’d be met with the same sight every night as you stepped foot in the room. The stocked minibar and tray of condoms seemed to be mocking you, flaunting their presence. 

“Senhores e senhoras!” You’re taken out of your trailing thoughts as the owners of the resort stand in the center of the lounge. They’d done so every night as the clock struck 6. The lounge settles down, and you take another sip of your drink, allowing the warmth to envelope you. 

The coupled owners were probably in their 50s and dressed in soft silks and creased linens. The woman, Luzia, was elegantly gorgeous, curled hair framing her face gracefully, each wrinkle on her face looking rightfully earned. Similarly, the man, Lorenzo, was handsome in his own right, with his sharp nose and thick-bearded face exuding a comfortable confidence. 

“We hope that you are enjoying your stay with us! There are some familiar faces here tonight, and as always, Luzia and I are very happy to see you,” he says, pulling Luzia closer with one arm as the other raises his drink in a toast. “Tonight, we have a very special guest joining us as our entertainment, and we hope you welcome him most graciously as he takes the stage. Enjoy your dinner and have a lovely night,” he exclaims, the rest of the lounge cheering with him. 

You cheers to the announcement as well, sipping away at your drink. You hoped the entertainment would be less of a mess than it was last night. The elderly jazz quartet that had taken the stage the night before had incapacitated themselves with multiple drinks from the bar before their performance, and consequently, the supposed jazz music sounded more and more like tortured screaming with each note. 

Unable to take more than some minutes of it, you’d slipped out of the lounge, opting instead to watch the moon from the quiet of your room last night. 

In preparation for another disaster, you down the remaining honeyed beirão, but to your surprise, the man being welcomed is young, probably closer to your age. He’s peculiarly dressed, his hair different shades of pink, standing out from the heads of sandy blondes and browns. The black, leather-heeled Chelsea boots he’s got on clack over the marbled floor of the lounge as he takes the center stage. His deep navy pants rest high on his hips, and his ribbed green turtleneck is tucked into the crisply ironed trousers. There’s a bright purple hibiscus brooch that covers much of his left peck, the blooming piece pinned securely over his heart. 

“Thank you, Lorenzo,” he says, courteously nodding towards Lorenzo and Luzia. “And good evening everybody. My name is Hongjoong. Joong for the gorgeous ladies here tonight, and fellas, let’s keep it professional with Mr. Kim,” he jokes. The crowd is immediately smitten. Perhaps, it’s because of their slightly tipsy state, but the women giggle shyly while the men fake contempt. 

Hongjoong, or supposedly Joong for you, only brazenly grins, his sharp teeth on display, as he sits down on the piano bench. Adjusting the mic, he continues, eyeing the crowd “Look at this beautiful crowd we’ve got here! Tonight, I'll be your guide, your entertainer, and maybe,” his eyes land on you, voice softening, “just maybe, your new favorite distraction. So get comfortable, let me steal your attention, and let's have some good food tonight!” 

The crowd applauses, and only then, does Hongjoong look away. His fingertips graze the ivory keys, and when the clapping starts to fade, he closes his eyes and starts to play. 

Now, the sphere of ice in your otherwise empty glass starts to melt, but you continue to keep your back to the bar. Hongjoong plays exquisitely, his nimble fingers dancing over the keys, creating a melodious environment as the appetizers roll out. Then, when the entrees exit the busy kitchen, he plays more soothingly, slowing the tempo. Occasionally, he catches you looking and professionally sends you a smile, but when you look away at the darkening sky, he steals quick glances, catching a different detail each time. 

First, he notices the sparkling cocktail dress you’ve worn. Next, he catches the way your legs are crossed over one another, raising the material of the glittery dress higher up your thighs. Then, he notices the solemn expression gracing your face. He decidedly thinks the black honey lipstick you’re wearing is the best shade for your features. When he’s able to move past your beauty, he finally notices you’re sitting alone at the bar. 

As the end of dinner nears and the dessert is distributed, Hongjoong begins to play romantically, the music sweet and warm, and that’s when you’ve decided it’s time for one last drink before you retire to your room for the night. 

Turning your back to Hongjoong, you ask Miguel for the alcohol menu, but after considering your options, decide to, once again, safely stick with getting another beirão. As Miguel begins pouring your final drink for the night, you look out to the ocean once again. 

The sun has been completely swallowed by the horizon, coloring the sky a deep navy, but there’s stray stripes of dark pinks and oranges in its remnants. You deeply exhale, closing your eyes. What am I doing here?

This trip had ended up making you feel depressed more than anything. You were expecting the unexpected. You’d thought maybe you’d find yourself sipping martinis by the pool half-naked, maybe with another distinguished gentlemen that had also come to this resort alone. Maybe he’d be older, with a handsome salt and pepper beard. Maybe he’d pull you out of your dry spell, fuck you until you’d forget your heartbreak, forget your demanding job, forget how shitty of a person you’d become. 

But all you’d done was avoid confrontation and drink beirão. 

Today, you’d opened the bagful of swimsuits and bikinis you’d purchased. Not feeling brave enough for them yet, you contemplated the cocktail dress in the hopes that it would give you some much needed confidence. 

But even wearing it made no difference. You ended up in the same place you’d ended up the five nights before tonight, and all you really wanted to do was go home and get back to work. This vacation had dented your savings, and you were all too eager to make up for it. Maybe you would just cut the trip short and head home tomorrow. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.

From behind you, another applause congratulates Hongjoong as he ends his romantic piece with a twinkling glissando. You don’t make an effort to turn around and join the applause, already planning out the logistics of your trip back home. 

Funnily, you hear him before you see him, the clunky thud of the heels somehow echoing on the floor of the open lounge. The atmosphere without Hongjoong’s playing seems ever so slightly emptier, and part of you thinks a compliment should be given, but the moment passes as Hongjoong sits to your right, opening the alcohol menu.

He smells slightly of a fruit, the velvety scent surrounding you. Slowly, he flips through the menu, scanning each of the wines, hard liquors, margaritas, and even the Lisbon specialties on the back. He lingers on the specialties page, and after some time, calls over Miguel.

“Yes senhor, what can I get you?”

“Hello,” Hongjoong squints at the name tag securely pinned on Miguel’s polo, “Miguel. I’m eager to try something new.” He pauses to look down at the specialty drinks on the menu again. “What do you recommend my good friend?”

Eager to share, Miguel’s eyes light up, and he nods, pointing at a drink titled “Ginja”, tapping the plastic cover of the menu. “This, this you must try when you are in Portugal. It’s my personal favorite, and it’s one of Lisbon’s most popular drinks. Mr. Lorenzo and Mrs. Luzia even make it in house.”

With a happy smile, Hongjoong orders the drink. “Well, Ginga it is,” and Miguel, with a similarly wide smile, begins mixing the drink. 

It’s quiet at the bar again, and now, the lounge seems to be emptying too, the inebriated couples either going back to their rooms or down the heated indoor pool. Next to you, Hongjoong clears his throat, and you finally flick your eyes in his direction to find him already looking at you. You send him a tight-lipped smile before looking forward at Miguel, who’s now crushing cherries with a mortar and pestle. 

When you bring your cup to your lips, Hongjoong says, “That looks good, too. What is it?”

Swallowing, you swirl the remaining contents in your glass, answering, “Beirão. Although, I’m not quite sure what it is.” A sudden embarrassment washes over you. You’d had maybe over a dozen glasses of beirão in the past five days, but you couldn’t recall a thing Miguel had told you about its ingredients or process. Hongjoong had talked to Miguel for 30 seconds and already knew what his and apparently Lisbon’s favorite drink was.

“You played very beautifully tonight,” you say, decidedly using the compliment now to save face.

“Oh, thank you,” his charming demeanor from earlier reappears, and subconsciously, you turn in the bar stool to face him some more. “I met Mr. Lorenzo while I was busking downtown today, and I guess he liked me enough to invite me to play here tonight. They’re very kind people,” he continues. 

“Do you live in Lisbon?”

Hongjoong shakes his head, smile never leaving, answering, “No, no, I’m just visiting. You?”

“I’m here on vacation.” It comes out more bitterly than you were expecting it to, the phrase leaving a sour taste in your mouth. You take another sip, and the citrus of the drink coats your tongue instead.

“With your partner?” Hongjoong asks, testing the depth of waters he was potentially stepping into.

“Alone.”

“Lisbon is a good place to be alone.” Now, you turn to him fully. You were expecting something cheesy, something greasy, something flattering to get into your pants, but this is all he says, without judgment or malice, and the bar is silent once more until Miguel slides a shot of Ginja and a tall glass of ice water in front of Hongjoong. 

Expectedly, Miguel watches Hongjoong take the unassuming shot glass in hand, observing the bits of cherry that have settled at the bottom of the glass. He cheers to Miguel and downs the shot. He winces at the taste, eyes scrunching close and lips pucking, while Miguel only laughs.

“God, that’s strong. Miguel, I’m going to need another round of these pronto for me and my friend here.” 

“You really don’t have to—,” you protest.

“I don’t have to, I want to,” he says, adding, “as a thanks for enjoying my music.”

“Well, thank you.” You clear your throat, asking, “Are you a musician?”

“I guess you could say that. I’m not really sure myself,” he answers vaguely. “I’ve dabbled in a little bit of everything, but I always come back to the piano. It’s a trusty friend.”

“You’ve got many friends.”

He laughingly scoffs, “That I do. I suppose it’s what I do best.” He brings the ice water to his lips as beads of condensation slide down his wrist, darkening the green of his turtleneck.

“It’s a good thing, handy skill. I’m too old to learn it now.” The dejection is so painfully evident in your voice, it makes you cringe, and you look down into your lap, ashamed.  

But without skipping a beat, Hongjoong says, “Come on, that’s not true.”

You shake your head, dismissive. “You’ve managed to learn more about Miguel in the past five minutes than I have in the last five days.”

“Well, we’re friends now, so you can’t be all that bad at it,” Hongjoong says, rubbing his palms flat on his trousers. “Hi friend, my name is Hongjoong,” he says, holding out his hand for you to shake. 

The gesture brings a surprised smile to your face. You hesitate a little before shaking Hongjoong’s hand, but he waits patiently, eyes quickly roaming your features with a smile. You exhale and shake his hand, introducing yourself. 

His fingertips are warm, shaking your hand firmly. With a shy laugh, you pull away. “So how was the Ginja really, Hongjoong?”

“So seriously strong, but so good. But hey, no pressure. You really don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.” 

When you nod in response, he continues, “If you don’t mind me asking, you don’t look like you’re on vacation mode. I mean, don’t get me wrong, like I said, this is a great place to be alone, but…” he trails off, shrugging. 

A sense of security surrounds Hongjoong, or maybe the beirãos are catching up to you, you couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, it made you feel comfortable enough to confide in him, so you let your posture slouch and a pout find its way onto your otherwise neutral face. “It’s just… I was supposed to come here with someone. We were supposed to come here and I don’t know, fall back in love? We were supposed to get out of the city, away from all the noise, from our families, from our work. We’d spent time together at home, but it felt like we were moving on autopilot. This vacation was supposed to help us really see each other again, like we did before, like we used to, but… I don’t know,” you end abruptly. 

The rambling of words was surely unattractive and much too personal for two people who had only been friends for less than a minute, but Hongjoong only takes another sip of water, contemplating your words with a sigh before responding, “Well, good news for you. Bad trips don’t have to stay bad. You’ve got options. Have you been to any of the beaches along the coast?”

“The beaches?”

“Yeah, some of the beaches they’ve got here are really something. They’ll make you forget all of your worries,” Hongjoong says, eyes twinkling with the reflection of the overhead lights of the bar. “You’ve got to explore the smaller cities and villages to get to some of them, but man, is it rewarding.” 

“Oh, I… uh, I haven’t really been in the mood for exploring. Or doing anything really,” you mumble. 

“Come on. You’re at a tropical resort, and you haven’t even seen the ocean up close? That’s criminal,” Hongjoong playfully teases. You’re really glad he’s so much better at you than keeping things light-hearted. You were sure anyone else would’ve been off-put by your sullen behavior. “I’m actually headed to one of them tonight.”

“Tonight?” You look out beyond the open lounge. The sky had darkened to a navy, taking away every last piece of the sun with it. 

“It’s a perfect night to look out at the stars,” Hongjoong says, following your line of vision. “Hey, you should come with me!”

You quickly spin the bar stool to face him again, an incredulous laugh escaping your lips. “What?”

“Senhor, senhora, your Ginjas,” Miguel places the delicately made shots in front of you, but this time, he doesn’t wait to see your reactions, quickly tending to another customer immediately after. 

“Come with me, I promise the beach will help you get your mind off of things. See, the beauty of a place like this, is that it doesn't exist when you return home. When you think of Lisbon five, ten, twenty years from now, what are you going to remember? Your beirão? Mr. Lorenzo? Miguel? Me?” Maybe. 

Hongjoong quickly tosses the drink back, puckered lips and a wince returning to grace his face once more. “God,” he exclaims at the Ginja’s taste. “No, you’re going to remember the things you don’t have at home. I’ll think of this Ginja, I’ll think of the stars I’ll get to see tonight.” He looks you in the eyes, an unreadable expression taking over his face, quickly glancing at your lips. “I’ll think of you… My philosophy is that this place won’t exist in the same way tomorrow as it did tonight, so maybe coming out to see the stars as they are tonight on a beach is what you’ll remember instead of your heartbreak.”

A bashful expression washes over Hongjoong’s face, and he suddenly looks boyish, eyes darting away from you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so worked up, I just… I think it’s a shame that a woman like you is spending her time at a resort, heartbroken, when the most beautiful place is waiting just beyond its gates.”

The word Yes rests so easily on the tip of your tongue, but you’re afraid it’s the alcohol in your system talking. You’ll be brave enough to accept his offer tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow, when you’re sober and well-rested, you’ll go to the beach with Hongjoong. Maybe he’d even show you the hidden beaches in the little villages. Maybe he’d point out constellations in the stars for you. Maybe he’d convince you to stay for the rest of your trip. Before your mind can catch up with your heart, you ask, “That’s okay, how long are you visiting Lisbon?”

“I’m actually leaving for Morocco tomorrow.”

“Oh,” is all you say, saddening at his response for some reason. Suddenly, you remember that you were also making plans to leave soon. You didn’t quite know what you were expecting. That Hongjoong would be coming back home with you? That he’d help you get over your breakup? That you’d make the same mistakes and he’d leave you like your ex? Stop, stop, stop!

Quickly, you reach for the shot of Ginja, taking in its dark magenta color, and without letting yourself hesitate any more, shoot back the liquid. Momentarily, you’re shocked at its sweetness. The flavor is tooth-rotting, tasting strongly of cane sugar and cherry, attacking all corners of your mouth. Instantaneously, the alcohol bravens you. It’s all sudden, the need to see the beach, the yearning to see the stars, the desire to know Hongjoong. In his presence, you seem unwilling to give into the fear. Oh, what the hell.

“You know what? The beach sounds like a fantastic idea.”

*****

The hesitancy that had so conveniently disappeared at the lounge had come back in full force when you stood in front of Hongjoong’s sleek motorcycle in the resort’s parking garage. 

You wait behind him as he lifts the smooth leather seat to pull out another helmet, handing it to you. Then, he shuts the seat with a click, putting on his own helmet, which was looped around the hand brake. His pink hair flattens over his forehead, and through the open visor, he looks at you. 

You feel a bit frozen, almost as if you’re living an out-of-body experience. Hongjoong, as charming and kind as he was at the bar, could’ve been a murderer. Or a kidnapper. The thought What am I doing? flashes across your vision again. 

Hongjoong reaches for the helmet in your hands, simply holding it with you, as he searches your face for signs of apprehension. When it’s clearly etched in every corner of your face, he slightly shakes the helmet, calling out your name. 

“Hey, if you don’t feel like it, we don’t have to go anywhere,” he says. The kindness he’s expressing is almost too overwhelming and too familiar. The thick helmet only leaves Hongjoong’s eyes in your view, and before you blink away the uncertainty, you’re sure you see your ex’s face. You quickly shake your head. No, you were going to see the beach and the stars, and that’s final.

Clearing your throat, you say, “I want to go.” You fall silent again and look down at your hands holding onto Hongjoong’s spare helmet. Your palms feel clammy, and at the realization, you let go of the helmet. “Can you help me put this on?”

He only nods, opening the visor on the spare. He holds the helmet in one hand, and with a tilted neck, takes in your expression one more time. Absent-mindedly, his fingers reach out to tuck the hair on either side of your face behind your ears, and without lingering for a second longer, he gently slips the helmet over your head. 

“Too tight?” You shake your head no. “Okay,” he smiles, closing the visor shut. “Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?” You shake your head again. “Alright, some basic rules,” Hongjoong begins, prompting you closer to the intimidating vehicle. “You’ve got to hold on to something at all times. It can be me or this part here,” he says, gripping a shiny metal handle underneath the passenger seat. 

“Okay,” you nod.

“Your feet have to stay on the footrests at all times. Wait to get on and off until I’m ready and planted. Try not to lean when I’m turning. Always speak up, even it feels like you’re yelling and…” Hongjoong places his hands on his hips, trying to think of any other rules. “Oh, I’ll give you a couple of taps if I plan on speeding up. All that sound okay?”

“Yeah.” At your confirmation, Hongjoong swings his leg over the body of the motorcycle, whirring it to life. Okay, hold onto something, feet always on footrest, wait for his go-ahead, no leaning, speak up, and tapping equals speeding up. Seems simple enough. 

Hongjoong turns to you, nodding. You step closer to him and swing your leg over just as he had. Due to the angle of the seat, you slip down the seat, your chest bumping against Hongjoong’s back. You try moving up a little, only to slip to slip back down into him. Considering it futile, you lightly rest against him and grip the metal handles on either side of the passenger seat. 

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

As the engine grumbles, you feel a rush of adrenaline flow through you. The speed initially catches you off guard, and when you arrive at the exit gate of the resort’s parking garage and he slows, you quickly reconsider your hand placement and move to wrap your arms around Hongjoong’s waist instead. 

You’re thankful he doesn’t mention it, only continuing to drive out of the property. A strange mixture of discomfort, vulnerability, and trust courses through you, and it seems as if your heart will thump right out of your chest. You feel hyper-aware of the vibrations coming from the engine, the changing rhythms as Hongjoong accelerates and decelerates. Your grip on his waist tightens, eyes squeezing shut, and your head lays flush against his back, trying to run through the rules Hongjoong had given you. 

Some minutes later, when you’ve completely stopped, Hongjoong shifts, trying to look back at you. “You breathing back there?”

“I think so,” you exhale. You take in large lungfuls of air, begging your heart to calm. 

“How’s the city of Lisbon looking?” he asks. 

His question sits silently between you, until you decide you have to open your eyes now. The first thing you see is the fibers of Hongjoong’s green turtleneck. With another shaky breath, you look up to see the red light you’ve stopped at. To your left is the darkened coast, lined with dwarfed palm trees and shrubbery. But beyond that, the view is breathtaking. 

The city is alive with vigor, clubs teeming with scandalously dressed people, restaurants with laughing customers, and streets with wide-eyed tourists. There’s a bustling commotion, and your grip on Hongjoong loosens as you dart between the many faces in the crowd. You’re surrounded by happy laughter, foreign languages, and sounds of the crashing waves nearby. 

Past the street to your right is the rest of Lisbon, lighting the cool blue of the night with a warm yellow. You’re able to make out the finer details of Ponte 25 de Abril, watching the cars zoom across the bridge to the city of Almada. Further back, the sidewalks are lined with outdoor seating arrangements for customers stepping off a slow yellow tram making its way down the intimate street. There’s street vendors selling handmade jewelry, while others are selling balloons and toys. You laugh against Hongjoong’s back when you spot a little girl jumping while a man folds a hot pink balloon into the shape of a dog for her. 

“Beautiful,” is all you’re able to tell Hongjoong, but it doesn’t seem like it’s enough.There was something purely human about the city, and you realize Hongjoong was right. This night will never exist when you return home. 

As the light turns green, Hongjoong taps your thigh and instinctively, your hold tightens as he begins speeding down the road again.

Once Hongjoong starts driving further and further away from the lively city, the air cools and the roads empty. You are most definitely not dressed for the occasion, and the striking wind whips at your exposed skin. But it feels good, refreshing even. Courageously, you flip open the visor on your helmet and deeply inhale the salty environment, your lungs filling with the crisp air. 

It feels like the first breath of air you’ve taken since that night. You take in another deep breath and relax against Hongjoong. You feel the warmth radiating from him and hold him just a little bit tighter. Your unease begins to fade slightly, and your vision clears, and with it comes the realization that you’re sobering. 

You look up to the sky and find that the moon is following you and Hongjoong, lighting the asphalt for the motorcycle’s path. The historic buildings give way to quiet farmland filled with harvest that’s ready to be picked. Rice paddies and vineyards are doused in the dark of the night, and you try to memorize the details of the fields as best you can. 

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been driving, but eventually, you can feel the engine’s rumbling slow, and Hongjoong turns into a cobblestone-lined alley. The ride immediately grows bumpy, and you’re brought out of your daze, taking in the mismatched architecture of the small sleepy village you’ve arrived in. Many of the lights are off, and nearly all of the shops are closed, but Hongjoong continues navigating through the bumpy roads, finally stopping under a thickly branched tree. 

He turns the engine off, and you welcome the silence, finding no need to fill it with awed words. You’d never felt more alive than you did in this moment, and you hadn’t even gotten to the beach yet. 

Hongjoong climbs off the motorcycle, removes his helmet, and shakes his hair. He loops it around the hand brake once again, and holds his hand for you to take. You step off the motorcycle, feet unreasonably wobbling. Hongjoong grabs your forearms, steadying you with a laugh, and then proceeds to take your helmet off for you. 

You wanted to retract your earlier statement. The silence was dangerous, and welcoming it meant giving into the sudden desire you had to kiss Hongjoong. His pupils were large, skin tinged pink like his hair from the chilly wind. No, it would be irresponsible and extremely rude. He’s your friend! Your newly made friend! Get it together! But the desire is vividly clear when either of you stand, unmoving.

Before you’re able to give into it, Hongjoong breaks the silence, asking, “Do you know what kind of tree this is?”

When you had pulled up underneath it, it looked like a regular tree, but now, upon closer examination, it was bearing multiple orange fruits, almost like oranges. Confused, you reach up to touch it and shake your head, “I don’t know, it looks like some sort of citrus fruit tree?”

“This is a persimmon tree, and these,” he says, reaching up to break off a ripened fruit, “are persimmons.” He bites into reddish skin, breaking into the light orange flesh of the fruit. The juice of the fruit trickles down his chin, and he quickly wipes it off with the back of his hand and hands the bitten fruit to you.

He gets busy putting your spare helmet away in the seat storage, and from the space, pulls out a thin, folded blanket. “This is my favorite fruit, and everytime I bite into it, I fall in love with it.” He snaps several ripened fruits off the tree and begins walking down the alley. 

Bitten fruit still in hand, you follow him, carefully stepping around the dry shrubs and leafy trees. “I have a fear that one day I’ll forget what Portugal’s persimmons will taste like, and I let that fear drive me back here every year. Is it immature?” he asks, clearing the way for you through a particularly bushy area, “Absolutely. What kind of guy comes back to a country for a fruit?”

As you walk further and further down the alley, the cobblestone becomes wood paneling which soon gives way to warm sand. When Hongjoong pushes the final bit of branches out of your way, you’re left to look out into the empty beach. 

The sand glitters, its particles thin and ticklish to the touch under your toes. The yellow gleams of artificial light from Lisbon are far and few, so with only the moon to light it, the Atlantic Ocean sparkles preciously in its pale shadow. And a quick glance up at the sky nearly brings you to tears. The night sky is littered in twinkling stars, shining brilliantly above you, and you think of Hongjoong’s words again. This place would not exist in the same way it does now tomorrow. Tomorrow, Hongjoong would be in Morocco, and you would be on a flight back home. This place would never exist tomorrow. 

Hongjoong continues to take some more steps forwards, finding an area to spread the blanket out. Halfway down the small beach, he smooths out an area with his foot, throwing the blanket down. You watch him from a distance, and look down at the fruit he’d left in your arm and find him enigmatically ridiculous. How good could a fruit be to travel all the way to Portugal multiple times? Too curious, you finally take a bite from it.

Underneath the smooth skin was a soft flesh, tasting honey-like, almost as if you’d bitten into an apricot and mango at the same time. You take another bite, and then one more, enamored with the taste. You didn’t realize how hungry you were, the fruit warmed your body, and as you continuously bit into it, its nectar dribbled down your arms, dripping into the sand from your elbows. 

You hear a laugh from Hongjoong. “Was it good?” Hongjoong yells, watching you with amusement. 

You only nod, looking back up the shrubbed area you’d just come down. You were considering running back up the path to pick more fruit from the tree, but before you could take a step back, Hongjoong calls you over. Maybe on the way back.

He pats the space next to him on the thin blanket. You wait, watching him lay down first, placing his hands under his head. His turtleneck stretches at the movement, rising up to reveal the smooth skin of his abdomen. 

Suddenly shy, you look away and kneel onto the blanket, stretching your feet onto the thin material. The gentle breeze of the ocean constantly rolls over your skin, never ceasing, never slowing down. With another deep breath, you lay down next to Hongjoong, who’s quietly looking at the smattering of stars in the sky.

The night sky was clear of any clouds, giving you the perfect view of the galaxies and planets far away. Some of the stars appear brighter, their emitting light pulsing like a heart, while others are shyer, quieter, their light dimmer. It seems otherworldly to be laying here next to a man you hardly know who’s indeed offered you the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen.

Hongjoong calls out your name quietly, and you turn to him. The movement allows a tear to slip out of your eyes and down your temple into your hairline. You blink in surprise, unaware the sight had affected you so much so. “Yes?”

“What makes you happy?”

You turn back to look at the stars. In their twinkling presence, you didn’t think it fair to lie, so although ashamed, you answer, “Earning money. What about you?”

He ponders the question for a moment, tilting his head to the side. Then a smile spreads across his face, and from his pocket, he pulls out the persimmons he’d picked before and answers, “These things.”

“A fruit?” 

“It makes me happy… does earning money really make you happy?”

“Well, earning money means I have money, and money makes me happy. So, yeah, I guess it does.”

Hongjoong hums, not saying anything more. 

This silence makes you unreasonably bitter, and frustrated with it, you snap, “You don’t think I’m happy?”

“I…No, that’s not what I meant, I just… There’s a sadness about you that reminds me of myself. A version of myself from a long time ago.” Hongjoong shifts in place, and when he settles, his shoulders comfortably rest against yours. But you don’t mind the touch and he doesn’t mention it, so without acknowledging the skinship, he continues, “I felt like I lived to earn money, and that’s it. I didn’t do anything else.”

It seems odd to think Hongjoong could be like you. Unbelievable, even. A free-spirited soul like him trapped in a personality like yours seems unfair, but you, on the other hand? It was fitting for you. “How’d this new version of you come to be then?”

“I don’t really know,” he shrugs. “One day I was at work, and all of a sudden, I just felt so heavy. Like I couldn’t move or speak. Like I’d spent my life living in a closed box. It was a cruel realization, you know? I’d chased away my friends, my partner, my parents. I’d burned every single bridge, and I had no one to turn to but myself. So I threw a dart at a map and promised to take myself wherever it landed. Coincidentally, my first throw landed in Lisbon.”

So I came. I didn’t take anything with me and just lived. I walked up and down the streets, rode the tram for hours, drank at the clubs. I spent days at the beach, and when I finally started to run out of money, I took up a job in the orchards and just picked persimmons.”

You’re unable to look away from him. Running out of money was your worst nightmare, and even at the thought of it, your chest constricts, the rumble of panic bubbling within. But here was Hongjoong, his face lit so delicately by the moonlight, smiling as if it was the best thing that ever happened to him.

“One night I was walking around and came upon this beach,” he gestures at the empty alcove around you. “I just sat here for hours, eating persimmons and looking at the stars, and… I realized that a person should only be in a closed box when they’re dead. So I just started living. I quit my job, started playing music, and taught at schools along the way. I’ve done everything. These shoes? I made them. These clothes? Stitched them myself. I just learn and learn and learn,” he ends, sighing with content. 

You wanted that. You wanted to learn how to make your own shoes or stitch your own clothes. Your hobbies were left biting the dust, abandoned in the confines of your dreams. It seemed like the perfect life.

And for a second, you can almost imagine it. You could spend days at the beach, watching the ocean sprint to the shore. You could learn to make your own shoes, stitching together pieces of thick leather. You could make your own clothes, piecing together wild arrangements of fabric. You could drink beirãos and Ginjas to your heart’s desire. You could eat as many persimmons as you could stomach. 

But that life vanishes with a snap, as your imagination comes to a harsh stop when you think of the life you did have back home.  

This perfect life, the one where you explore the corners of the world, the one where you learn, the one where you live, would never be your reality. You had family depending on you. You had loans to pay off. You had car payments, rent, bills, bills, bills. You couldn’t just up and move when it got too tough for you. That wasn’t an option. And because there wasn’t an option, there wasn’t a choice. 

The silence comes again, waiting for you to fill it. You close your eyes, depriving them of the stars and Hongjoong when you speak up again. 

“I didn’t grow up with money, and my parents didn’t grow up with money. This place,” you gesture at the beach, “is something I could only dream of visiting. But I worked hard… or got lucky, I don’t know. I wanted that money, and I sacrificed a lot to get here. But I’m here now. I’m here now, because of that money. I know all too well that things can go wrong. And things have gone wrong, and I’m nervous they’ll go wrong again. So as long as I can, I’ll keep earning to make sure that I’m never afraid when and if that happens… I don’t think I’m a bad person for wanting that.”

“No, you’re not.” And that’s all Hongjoong says, letting the crashing waves end the conversation. 

The honestly you’ve laid out has you feeling a light, as if you’d rid yourself of the burden you’d been carrying for years. Suddenly, you wonder if this honesty would’ve made your ex understand. If it would’ve made him stay. 

“Wanna go swimming?”

Your eyes fly open. “What?”

Hongjoong sits up on the blanket and looks out into the blackened ocean. “Let’s go for a swim.” He begins removing his green turtleneck and reveals another white long-sleeve shirt underneath, which he also proceeds to remove. He makes a messy pile on the blanket and stands to remove the belt looped around his waist. 

Frozen, you only watch him reveal more of his milky skin, some patches covered in intricate ink. His build is lean, and the faint outline of his muscles underneath are inviting. The sudden desire to touch him returns, and your fingertips beg to run the course of his chest, to trace the thick lines of his tattoos, the area where his hair touches his neck. The rampant thoughts come to a halt when his pants pool around his ankles. 

Now left only in his underwear, Hongjoong looks down at you, a mischievous look decorating his face. 

You clear your throat, begging your eyes not to stray away from his face. “Isn’t the water going to be too cold?”

“They say that it’s supposed to be good for you,” and with that, he begins walking towards the shoreline. When the tide washes over his feet, you see him visibly shiver with a surprised giggle. He turns to look at you over his shoulder, the smile on his face infectious. You laugh, the smile on your face a welcome surprise. 

When you finally settle, Hongjoong stills at the smile gracing your face. “Can I tell you something?”

From the blanket, you nod.

“All those things I’ve learned? I had to get out of my own skin to learn them. Just some food for thought,” he shrugs, stepping backwards out into the ocean.  

You watch the water ripple around his thighs and sigh. He was right. He had been right this entire night. 

So, eager to learn, you stand to undo the zipper that runs along the side of your dress. Left only in your underwear, you take apprehensive steps towards Hongjoong, hyper-aware of his eyes on you, trailing up and down your exposed body. The ocean breeze passes over you, and you feel goosebumps erupting across your limbs. 

The water is strikingly cold, and immediately, your body wants to return to the comfort of the blanket. Yet, you persist, walking further into the water until Hongjoong is some feet away from you.

“Have you ever sat in the ocean?” he asks. 

“What?” seemed to be the only question you were capable of asking in the freezing water. “No.”

“It’ll change your life,” he says. He was your teacher for the night and it only seemed fair to listen to him, so you follow some feet behind him until he turns around in the water again. 

“Scared?” he teases, taking a few more steps back, his mischief peeking through. The lapping water now reaches his chest, rolling over neck and wetting the tips of his hair. The unwillingness rushes into you again, the ever consuming fear of giving in is pushed out and replaced with something unfamiliar. 

You only squint before taking a deep breath and plunging entirely under the cold water. You come up with a gasp only a second later, face temporarily twisted in utter shock at the temperature. 

“What, that’s it? Come on, you’re supposed to stay under for a while,” Hongjoong laughs, stepping towards you. He takes your hands in his, continuing, “You’re supposed to slow your heart and listen to the ocean.”

“Humans can’t hear underwater,” you recant with a shake of your head. Your hair lays flat against your scalp, dripping onto your shoulders, the sensation cooling even the inside of your body.

“That’s the point. Just sit still in nothing for a few seconds. I’ll do it with you,” he offers. 

Your grip on his hands tightens, fingers interlocking. “Okay, but only for a couple of seconds.” He wiggles your hands, and the movement causes the water to ripple around you. You fill your air with as much air as you can, cheeks filling with air and nod to Hongjoong, heads dipping under the water. 

You don’t dare to open your eyes, afraid of the salty water, but instead choose to tighten your grip on Hongjoong’s hand. His fingertips brush your thumb, calming the shock of the cold out of your body, and when the fear passes, you allow yourself to listen. 

Oddly enough, you can’t hear anything but yourself. The thud of your beating heart resonates within your body. You think you can hear your blood flowing through your veins. 

For those few seconds, it feels as if time no longer exists. There’s no earth below you or no sky above. It’s just you, your beating heart, and Hongjoong. The loneliness of the situation sets in and you realize that now, after all this time, you finally feel alive. 

The barrage of sounds that attack your ears are overwhelming when you come up some seconds later for air. The crushing sounds of the waves, the calling of the seagulls, and even your own heavy breathing is too much, but you welcome the sounds. It feels as if you could hear anew, feeling happy that the ocean and birds exist and that there is plenty of air to fill your lungs. 

That something unfamiliar arises in your heart again, but this time you realize that it’s undeniable trust. You’re afraid you’ve lost the ability to speak, your shallow breathing overtaking your throat. And so you only pull Hongjoong, whose hands are still tightly intertwined with yours, closer until you can feel his chest against yours. The ocean splashes around you, and the two of you stand. 

You don’t let go of Hongjoong’s hand, only staring at the back of his head as he pulls you towards the shore some time later. As you watched the water drip off his hair onto his nape, you felt as if you could dive into the clarity that was Hongjoong. He knew what he had been and what he was now, and for some reason, that has you tugging him back. 

In the wet sand, he stumbles back into you, colliding into your chest. A momentary shock decorates his face, and you take the time to really look at him. The pink hair you’d seen earlier tonight looks purple under the moonlight. His lips are downturned in confusion which only deepens when he watches your arm reaching up from the cool body of water. 

That confusion is quick to turn into shock again when instead of touching his skin, you splash him. 

When the shock subsides, his eyes widen with a familiar charmingly devilish, and he splashes you back. And you play. 

You play in the water like you’d never seen the ocean before. You play with a heart full of laughter. You play like this was the last night you could. You splash him, and scream when he splashes you back. You feel like a child again. You feel like you’re 10. You feel.

The pads of your fingers prune and the smile that’s taken over your face feels painful, almost as if the expression is foreign to you. Your cheeks hurt in the best way possible and Hongjoong’s expression mirrors yours, so you don’t let it leave. 

You chase and splash and scream and swim, and money is the last thing on your mind. You don’t care about the money you’ve spent at the resort or how little you’ve contributed to your retirement account, you are just there. You just exist tonight in this little village in Portugal, playing under the moonlight in the cold ocean.  

It’s only when you’ve felt you’ve swallowed too much salty water for your own good and when you can’t catch your breath, that you slow and retreat back to the shoreline. The dry sand that greets your skin is warmly welcoming. 

Catching your breath, you watch Hongjoong dip under the water once more. As you plop down onto the blanket, you water his arms extending in the endless ocean, swimming horizontally against the current. When he emerges, he slicks his hair back, revealing his forehead.

Seemingly also having had enough of the water, he exits the salty ocean, shaking the excess water from his hair as he walks towards you. He doesn’t sit down on the blanket, instead looking out along the shrubbery you had come through. His eyes widen when he spots what he’s looking for and offers his hand to you. “There’s a freshwater pipe over there. We should get cleaned up.”

And so you do. Clothes and shoes in hand, you vigorously shake the excess sand off the blanket and make your way to the pipe. With the creaking freshwater pipe sputtering to life, you and Hongjoong scoop handfuls of water over your bodies, ridding yourself of the salty ocean. 

You clean your bodies and hair, and when it seems you’ve rid yourself of all the salt and sand, you slip back into your dress, zipping it up, and tiredly sit against the concrete curb. 

Hongjoong’s still washing his hair when you’re finally able to connect words together and say, “That was ridiculous.”

Hongjoong shakes the water from his body and uses the blanket to roughly dry himself before putting his pants back on. “In a good way?”

You follow his movements, eyes lingering on his thighs before they get covered up by the navy material. “In the best way. I can’t believe I’ve never done that before. It was so cold, but it felt so good…” you trail off. 

Hongjoong takes his messily crumpled long-sleeved white tee and ribbed green turtleneck and flattens them out before he puts them both on again, taking the sight of his tattoos away as well. 

“You know, you’re allowed to take some time for yourself. You don’t have to be like me, but you can walk away sometimes. You’re allowed that much. And you’re here now. And this place, right here, right now, could be a start. 

“Yeah.” Today was more than a start for you. 

“All I know is that you shouldn’t have any regrets. It isn’t good for you to live with them, they… they can eat away at you.” He sits down on the roughened curb beside you, looking up at the night sky. “You know, if people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently. 

You look at Hongjoong, whose face is oh so preciously lit in the moonlight. He looks beautiful and that itching desire returns. You don’t indulge in it, instead choosing to satisfy yourself in counting the many details of his face. “Oh, yeah?” His long eyelashes, his reddened cheeks, his many earrings. “How come?” His pink lips, his sloping nose, his sparkling eyes.

“Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that all these responsibilities, this money, it doesn't really mean much.”

You were afraid to open your eyes in the ocean, but in this moment, you think if you were to dive into Hongjoong’s mind, it would be transparent, the fear of giving in and opening your eyes nonexistent. You would keep them open even if it caused you pain, because you wouldn’t want to miss a single thing. You’d want to greedily swallow up every detail. 

With a sigh, you rest your head against his shoulder and connect the stars with aimless and imaginary lines. “Earning money doesn’t really make me happy… I don’t think I’ve been happy in a long time,” you admit quietly. Your voice, now only a whisper, continues, “But I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I’ve felt tonight.”

Hongjoong doesn’t say anything else, only leaning his weight against yours in support. You’re not sure how long you sit on the hard curb looking at the stars again. Time felt as if it had slowed only for the two of you on this alcove, and for once in your life, you didn’t want to take advantage of it, choosing to sit in it in silence instead. 

Minutes pass like this, and it’s only when a particularly cold breeze makes you shiver that Hongjoong looks down at the goosebumps rising along your skin and removes his turtleneck for you to wear. The material smells of him, and as you slip it over your head, his warmth surrounds you. 

He quietly hands you the persimmons he’d picked from the tree earlier and eats one for himself. You hungrily devour the fruit, familiar with its addicting taste now. In between his own bites, he says, “I should get you back to the resort, you’re probably tired.”

So now, partially dry and stomach full of persimmons, you walk back up the shrubbery to Hongjoong’s motorcycle, which waits patiently where you left it under the fruiting tree. He picks some more fruit from the bearing tree, wrapping them in the blanket before placing them into the storage under his seat. 

Just as he’d done earlier that night, he neatly tucks your damp hair behind your eye before popping the spare helmet over your head. Hongjoong climbs on, gives you the go ahead to climb on, and roars the engine to life. 

“Ready?” he asks.

You let yourself rest comfortably against Hongjoong’s back, feeling secure behind him. You loosely repeat the rules he’d told you hours ago in the parking garage and nod. Your legs squeeze at his waist and your arms around his chest, and as you hold him tight, you respond, “Ready.”

The drive back to the resort is shorter, and you’re sad at the fact that morning is arriving quicker than you’d like. You pass the sleeping village, the cobblestone is quick to turn into the familiar asphalt, and you’re missing the rice paddies and vineyards the second they’ve blurred by. Soon enough, you’re able to spot the Ponte 25 de Abril, now with only one or two cars driving across it. The Lisbon you return to is much more quiet, void of the lively families, loud vendors, and open restaurants. Even the clubs are silent in the hours before dawn. 

When you’re stopped at a familiar red light, you let your snaked arms tighten around Hongjoong’s chest, flattening your palm against his ribs. Lifting your visor up, you take in the empty city. The quietness envelopes you, and even in it, you feel happy. 

You catch Hongjoong’s eyes observing you from the mirrors of the motorcycle. The red of the traffic light reflects off his brown eyes, dousing his skin in the passionate color. The wicked desire returns with a vengeance, and you send him a short smile before turning your attention away to the light turning green. 

It isn’t long before Hongjoong’s parked his motorcycle in the parking garage of the resort and turned off it’s engine. He lets you get off first, and then he does, whipping off his helmet in one swift motion. The parking garage seems dimmer than it was earlier, void of the splashing from the pool or laughter from the lounge. The resort is peacefully silent, and in that, Hongjoong takes a step closer to you. 

Through the visor, all you do is look. His hasty removal of the helmet has rendered his hair a tangled pink mess, the neon purple and pastel pink stacked in a pile on top of his head. And it’s as if the cold had placed her palms right against Hongjoong’s cheeks, coloring them a flushed red. 

For all the wisdom and maturity he had shown you tonight, he looked surprisingly boyish in the light of the feeble parking garage, and so, through the open visor of your helmet, you stare.  

He places his hands on either side of the black helmet and smiles softly before lifting it off your head. Your still damp hair flops over your head, surely faring no better than Hongjoong’s, and with a shake of your head, you whip it to the side. 

Hongjoong puts the helmet away, locking the motorcycle seat, and with a giggle, he tucks the lock of hair that has managed to land right back on your face behind your ear with care.

“Lead the way,” he says, waiting patiently. 

In the silence of the early morning, you walk and Hongjoong follows closely behind you. Surprisingly, this is the most relaxed you’ve felt since arriving at the resort, and on your way, you notice details your mind had casually looked over in the past five days. 

You notice the greenish-blue tint of the tiles that line the pool and the very-closely matching pillows that sit at each of the romantic cabanas. You notice the bed of flowers that are in the process of blooming at the moon’s departure. You notice intricate wire patterns on the backs of the dinner chairs in the lounge. It’s all so beautiful, and you’re only seeing it now with Hongjoong by your side. 

Before you know it, you’ve arrived at your door. You fish for the keycard in a hidden pocket in your dress, and now suddenly shy, Hongjoong decides to observe the resort’s carpet choice as you do. With the handle of your door turned and a sigh on your lips, you turn around. 

“Thank you… for tonight. You were right,” you tell him, never specifying which of the many things he was right about, but you make sure to cover all the bases, just in case. Nervously, you flip your keycard in hand, eyes quickly catching his. 

But Hongjoong only smiles. “That’s what friends are for,” he replies, his tone just slightly sad. 

Ah, right. Friends. You’re quick to brush the dejection from your face, yet Hongjoong catches it nonetheless. But you say nothing more, so despite it, he waves you a soft goodbye and is turning on his heels, ready to drive off the property of the resort. “Goodnight.”

He walks down the hallway you’d just come along, frame getting smaller and smaller. As his silhouette shrinks, you panic, trying to think of something, anything, to make him stay. He’d just given you the best night of your life, and you didn’t even know his last name. What if you wanted to talk to him again? What if you were both in Lisbon at the same time again? Neither of you would ever know. 

The regret starts to violently bubble inside, and you know if you let him walk away now, you’d never, ever, see him again. You’d never know where he’d gone or what else he’d learned. What he liked, what he tasted like. 

“Hongjoong, wait!” He turns to you, and you feel breathless for some reason. His eyebrows are perked, and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but you hope the emotion flashing across his face was of relief. You’d let yourself get away with your pile of regrets until now, but seeing Hongjoong wait for you, eyes full of a desire that scarily mirrored yours, you ask, keycard twiddling between your fingertips, “I shouldn’t have any regrets, right?”

He takes one step towards you. “No,” Hongjoong replies earnestly. “They’ll eat away at you.”

So for the second time that night, you swallow your hesitation and run towards him, and also for the second time that night, you feel alive.

The relief on his face is unmistakable when Hongjoong catches you in his arms as you all but slam your lips into his. His lips move against yours automatically, rhythmically, and you kiss him back as if your life depended on it. 

You breathe in the persimmons and the salty ocean water and just kiss him like you’ve wanted to all night, hands, with keycard still in hand, tugging at the nape of pink hair and pulling him towards your room. His hands bunch the material of his green turtleneck around your waist, and he follows you backwards, obediently.

When your head comes in contact with the wooden exterior of your now locked door, you attempt to put the keycard in, trying and failing miserably as the keycard bends abnormally looking for its intended spot. Hongjoong’s lips begin to venture as he presses a kiss at the corner of your mouth, then at your cheek, then at your earlobe with a gentle graze of his teeth. 

Feeling dizzy, you gasp at the sensation, tilting your head to the side and giving him access to your neck as he continues downwards. He’s breathing heavily into your neck, kissing, licking, biting, all of it melting into a barrage of pleasure. You take the time to twist your head uncomfortably back to fit the keycard into its slot, but when Hongjoong delicately nips at a spot just below your ear, you drop it with a sharp inhale. 

He keeps up his ministrations, now growing irritated at how well his green turtleneck was obstructing him from the rest of you. He lifts the material up at your hips, wanting you to remove it.

And you do, tossing the now stuffy clothing over your head as Hongjoong backs away. Without letting another pass him by, his lips search for you again, sandwiching you between him and the door. 

His hands at your waist are rougher, grabbing you with a haste that seems too long overdue. His lips don’t stay on one spot too long, moving from your lips to your neck to cheek to your chest. One particular kiss has you shriveling in on yourself, and as a result, the strap of your dress falls down your shoulder. 

Normally, in the heat of the moment, this wasn’t something you would’ve minded. But as a whiff of sensibility washes over, and you open your eyes to spot the cameras located in each corner of the halls. You were sure resorts like this weren’t strangers to people romancing on their property, but you did not want to be the one giving the security team their show for the night. 

With a gentle shove, you push Hongjoong away, taking the time to catch your breath and gauge his reaction. The look in his eyes has you pooling in your underwear; his pupils are completely blown and the red that colored his cheeks earlier was now sexy. His hair was ruffled and pulled in all directions, and you were all too eager to run your hands through it again. And Hongjoong was too eager to kiss you again. 

But you focus on the mission at hand and look away, eyes tasked on finding the stupid keycard. It blends into the carpet of the resort, and you turn your back to Hongjoong to pick it up. 

The moment you bend down to pick it up, Hongjoong’s pulling your ass against him with a strained groan. You gasp again, straightening back into him, feeling his semi-hard dick pressing into your dress. He begins kissing your shoulder, and the urge to loll your head back comes so strongly. But you resist, finally inserting the damn keycard into the receptacle, waiting as it turns green, and pushing your way inside the darkened suite. 

You stumble in with Hongjoong shuffling in behind you, bumping into you as you look for the light switch. 

When the light finally does come on, a wave of embarrassment floods your senses as you realize that the resort staff has once again left a trail of vibrantly red rose petals in your suite and has put the tray of condoms that you’d so carefully hidden away in one of the drawers back on display on the vanity.

Your eyes widen and feel Hongjoong just slightly stiffen behind you. “I’m sorry, these were—they aren’t—this wasn’t on purpose,” you mumble out, shoulders downturned self-consciously. It’s almost as if you weren’t dressed just in Hongjoong’s clothes and Hongjoong wasn’t fully hard right behind you. 

“It’s okay, I know,” he quietly responds.

You guess you hadn’t dove into the water as deeply as you thought, because the uncertainty you’d felt earlier was just beyond the surface you were inches away from. Your rushing thoughts, your insecurities, your need to just go back home were right there, all you had to do was break the surface of that water. 

But Hongjoong walks around in front of you, fingertips tracing a line from your forearm to your wrists and looks you in the eyes. The crazed look from earlier isn’t completely gone as his eyes are filled with just as much desire as they previously were, but in them now, is a softness. 

The same softness that was there when he helped you onto his motorcycle, the same softness that handed you your first persimmon, the same softness that coaxed you into the freezing water, and the same softness that had you looking up into the ocean that was Hongjoong and realizing that the water was crystal clear. 

“We don’t have to do anything,” he says, the blazing touch of his fingertips, igniting the fire in you again. He waits for you patiently. 

You only shake your head. “No, I want to— I wanna learn… from you.” 

So he kisses you again, deeply, passionately. 

And you learn. 

You learn where his hands curl around your head, where they scrunch the material of your dress. You learn the way the outline of his lips feel when they hungrily kiss away at yours. You learn the shape of his dick as you palm him through his trousers. When he lets out a pleased hum, you learn to continue.

 It’s slightly jarring to you how urgently his hands are touching you while his kisses remain extended and drawn out, but you don’t mind, letting Hongjoong pull you to the edge of the petal-filled bed. 

He sits down first and looks up at you, his restrained demeanor slowly melting away. He keeps his eyes on you and you don’t dare to look away as his roaming fingers finally find the fickle zipper of your dress. He lets it fall, the material gathering at your ankles for the second time that night while Hongjoong only looks. 

He’s pulled you between his knees now, and his thumbing hands are rising higher up your torso, as his eyes, still locked on yours, press a kiss on your stomach. He pulls you impossibly closer, pressing another kiss to skin over your ribs, then over your clothes boobs, before he plops back down into the bed. 

Your hands, which have been hanging limply by your sides, finally move on your desire’s accord, fingers curling into his strands of hair, begging for him to continue. 

And Hongjoong obliges, continuing to place kisses over your torso as one one works on undoing your bra while the other palms the inside of your thigh, dangerously creeping upwards. 

When the bra comes undone, you’re quick to remove it, flinging across some obscure piece of furniture in your suite, and without wanting to wait any longer, you climb onto Hongjoong’s lap. 

But it doesn’t catch him off guard, his hold on you secure, safe. You grind your clothes pussy against him, wanting to learn what makes him tick. With a particularly sharp tug and grind, Hongjoong lowly grunts. So you do it again. And again. 

“Fuck, that feels good,” he breathes out. His busy hands move up your hips, one stopping to pinch your nipple. You let out a moan, hips faltering at the sudden pain, but melt into when the other nipple is greeted by his tongue. 

Hongjoong flicks experimentally at your nipple, but when you relax into him, he becomes daring, swirling and nipping at your pebbled flesh, switching attention from one tit to the other frequently. His teasing bites have you falling into him, the movement of your hips no longer steady. 

You needed his dick in your mouth. Now.

In a swift motion, you’re pushing yourself off of Hongjoong’s lap, and in that same motion, you kneel in front of him. Your hands are grabby, impatient, fumbling with the leather belt looped around his trousers, but with his help, they come off soon enough. You’re quick to push the boxers down as well, not even letting Hongjoong take them completely off as they pool at his feet. 

His dick is rock-hard, standing nearly straight up. The flowing blood has turned his tip a blushed shade of red, and you look up at him as you wrap your lips around him, swallowing his length down your throat in one go. 

‘“Holy fucking shit,” Hongjoong stutters, his fingers finding solace in your hair, tangling themselves at the root of your scalp. Your lips are slick and swollen from earlier and you’re drooling around him as you bob your head up and down his length, and Hongjoong thinks you look gorgeous as your mouth struggles to take him and your eyes fill with water. 

Just as he did earlier, he brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, and you feel yourself gushing. So you hollow your lips, speeding up your tempo, as Hongjoong throbs in your mouth, twitching. Through your eyelashes, you find him with his head whipped back in euphoria, eyes squeezed tightly shut. The hold he’s got on your head is incredibly restrained, but you continue, closing your lips around him and swallowing. 

“Baby, I’m gonna cum,” he says, voice breathy with dwindling control. Baby. The nickname has you impossibly wet. You only hum around him, taking him deeper, gagging when his tip hits the back of your throat. Your throat instantly tightens around him, and he’d cumming. 

A slew of curses fall from his lips as you swallow, letting him ride out his high. You remove him from your mouth with a pop and watch his rising and falling chest as he comes down from his high.

When his vision clears, it’s as if a switch has been flipped. 

Hongjoong is quick to get you off the floor, all but throwing you flat onto the bed for him. The sudden movement has you disoriented for some seconds, but you’re grounded right back into reality when you’re bombarded with the scent of sweet persimmons and the salty ocean when Hongjoong hovers over you.

He doesn’t waste any time, kissing you deeply, tasting his own release on your tongue. His hands are no longer shy either, and he quickly discards himself of any remaining clothes as you remain in your wine red underwear. His delicately inked arms come back into view and you focus in on them as Hongjoong removes your spoiled underwear. 

Just as you did, he looks beyond his lashes at you, who’s already heaving before he’s even properly touched you, who looks fucked out before he’d been able to give you an orgasm, and with that satisfaction, he dives in. 

When his tongue comes in contact with your clit, you can only sigh in relief into the soft sheets of your rose-petaled bed. Hongjoong revels in the fact that your folds are slick with your arousal, groaning into your pussy. And god, you taste so fucking good. Your plush thighs squeeze around his head and Hongjoong only preens, flattening his tongue against you.

You arch into him, moans freely falling from your lips. “Hongjoong,” you quietly whimper. Instinctively, your fingers wind up in his pink hair once more, twirling the strands as he lazily works you up. 

When your pulls strengthen and voice becomes airier, Hongjoong starts to speed up, switching his attention between your pulsing clit and leaking hole. His palms grip the flesh of your thighs open, and he rapidly moves his tongue side to side. The repeated movement has you releasing an overwhelmed cry, back arching painfully just to feel more. 

Your orgasm is building up fast, but when Hongjoong’s moaning vibrations travel up your body, you know you’re done for. 

You cum quickly, the waves crashing over your body rapidly one after the other. 

But it’s Hongjoong that doesn’t stop. He watches your writhing body process the pleasure, and he can’t help but want to give you more. 

So wetting his fingers in your arousal, he glides them up and down your folds, watching the microexpressions of your face. With closed eyes, you moan here and there, but he slides one finger inside you, you tighten around him immediately. 

It’s as if he knows your body, having nothing left to learn. His tongue is back on your clit, rounding the bud with controlled pressure, while another finger curls up inside you, pressing against the spongy flesh of your g-spot. 

Your second orgasm is following your first all too quickly, but Hongjoong doesn’t want to spend his time pacing your pleasure. So he mouths roughly into you, teeth grazing your clit, fingers pumping faster and harder. 

“Joong,” the nickname falls from your lips, just as he had wanted to earlier tonight. Your thighs are trembling with overstimulation now and your arousal is no doubt ruining the sheets, but Hongjoong persists, drinking away at you desperately. The tension in your body feels too hot to be contained, so with a gravelly whine, you release it, cumming again on Hongjoong’s tongue. 

He’s all too happy to lap up your orgasm, but you finally find it in yourself to push him away, your overstimulated body in dire need of a break. 

Hongjoong retires from your pussy, going back to nipping away at your skin as you recover from your back to back orgasms. When your breathing has returned to normal, Hongjoong whispers, “You okay?”

You nod in approval, smelling his familiar scent above you. Blindly, you reach for his face and pull him into you, lips once again finding each other. You can taste yourself on his tongue, it makes you feel dizzy with an anxious need. 

It seems as the reality of the morning ticks closer, you think Hongjoong will disappear. He’ll be off towards Morocco and you’ll stubbornly return home, despite of everything that had happened tonight. 

His scent begins to intertwine with your own, and you don’t want this night to end. So, with the desperate realization, you hook your leg around his hip and flip him underneath you.

Quickly grabbing a condom from the neat pile on the vanity, you slip it over his dick, and then ease yourself onto him. Hongjoong sighs against the pillows, the feeling of your velvet walls wrapping around him intoxicating. He loosely lets his arms dangle at your waist. 

You, on the other hand, are without a doubt overstimulated, so while Hongjoong feels amazing inside of you, your clit is throbbing due to sensitivity every time you roll your hips into his. 

But you push through the pain, because you knew the sunrise would creep up on you. Your hand flatten against his toughened abdomen, and now with an anchor, you ride him harder, faster. There’s a strong burn in your thighs, and your eyes are quick to fill with tears.

“Hey, slow down,” Hongjoong says. He lets his grip fall away from your hips, instead letting his warm hands envelope your wrists. When you don’t listen, his hold tightens. “Baby, slow down.” There it is again, that nickname. 

With a frustrated huff, you come to a stop. The nickname that fell from his lips slows down the engine that is your rampant mind, you break free from Hongjoong’s comforting hold to stop the tears in your eyes. “We don’t have enough time… I just wanna make you feel good,” you say, the hints of quiet whine evident in your tone.

Baffled, Hongjoong only laughs. “Don’t you think you are already? Come here,” he says, sitting up and pulling you closer into him. He’s incredibly hard inside of you, twitching with immense need. Despite it, he reassures you, “And we have all the time in the world.” 

So you take it. You greedily take the time and ride him slowly. And when your legs can’t push anymore, Hongjoong fucks you into the mattress. And then you take over and then he does. Over and over and over. You use all the time you’ve got and learn about his body. The fine hairs on his fingers and the All as the sun comes up, is high in the midafternoon sky, and as it begins to set. 

You’ve stripped the sheets of your deeds and lay in bed quietly when the sun begins to sink into the blue horizon.

Hongjoong lazily traces odd patterns into your skin while he watches the setting sun paint your skin with its golden hues. In the silence of the settling night, he says, “Come with me.”

His fingertips don’t stop tracing the shapes into your hip, but his touch does lighten. “Hmm?”

“To Morocco. Come with me.” Hongjoong’s gaze is steady and unflinching, as if he’s offering not just a destination but a chance to step away from the ruins of what you once were. A part of you wants to turn him down, to go back to what’s familiar—but another part, the part that’s awake in a way it hasn’t been in so long, flutters with curiosity.

You feel your pulse quicken at the thought of Morocco. A country you’ve only read about, seen in photographs, imagined through the words of travel blogs you once skimmed when the world seemed like a place you could conquer. With him, it doesn’t feel as impossible.

“I’ve got a job,” you say, as if grasping for an anchor to keep yourself from drifting away.

“Jobs can wait,” he replies softly, his voice like the whisper of the evening breeze. “Life can’t.”

You look away, eyes tracing the darkening horizon. “And what happens after Morocco?”

A smile tugs at his lips, barely there. “After Morocco, there’s always somewhere else. A new sunrise, a new adventure… or maybe just the comfort of knowing you’ve dared to try something different. That’s what matters, right?”

You’re silent, weighing the possibilities. Could you really just... go? Leave behind everything you thought you wanted, everything you were supposed to be?

Then, almost to your own surprise, you whisper, “Okay. I’ll come with you.”

Hongjoong’s fingers still against your skin, his smile widening just a fraction. “Good,” he murmurs, “because I’ve got a feeling we’re just getting started.”

Author's Note II: mayhaps I have a thing for writing freespririt!hongjoong and uptight!reader lol 😝 anyways, I'm really proud of this fic and would really love some feedback (i'll literally eat anything up pls) Also I've been thinking of creating a permanent taglist form for some time now and wanted to know if that's something people would be interested in? much love <333

taglist: @chngbnwf

[a-tiny-thing]

outlaw

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: you wish there would be a time you could call your life boring again. before all the mess, before the town fell apart, before your father disowned you. before jeong yunho. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jeong yunho x f!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 11.1k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: wild west theme, cowboy!yunho, bartender!reader 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: praising, claiming, dacryphilia, marking, size kink, oral, unprotected sex, outdoor sex

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: violence, weapons, alcohol consumption, murder, slight gore, attempted SA 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: django performance might be the reason why i switched from hongjoong to yunho after four years of being loyal. NOT PROOFREAD I AM IMPATIENT I HAD TO POST IT BEFORE GOING TO BED! <3

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

"another one, sweetheart."

i'm not your sweetheart, you wanted to mutter. but you bit your tongue, remembering that your father is somewhere in the room. so you have no other choice but to approach the loud, messy table, and pour the greasy dirty man another glass of whatever alcohol you had in hand. it didn't matter anymore, as long as it filled his stomach.

"that's a good girl," he roars with laughter, heavy hand landing on your bottom and making you jolt.

your eyes seek your father, silently asking for help. but no help comes. instead, he points to a different table that demands attention, and leaves the saloon. you stand still, voices muffling around you. your neatly put bun is now falling apart, strands loose on your face and sticking due to sweat, your clothes are heavy on you, and your hands will soon start shaking if you don't take a break from all the work. from early mornings, to even earlier ones the next day, you are destined to be a servant on your own father's property. you wonder if this will last forever. pouring alcohol, dodging flying chairs and tables, taking the harassment so you can survive for another month.

if this really is your future, then what is the point of living? will he marry you off to one of these men? or will he keep you as his servant until the end of his days? you remember the day everything changed for you. you had just come back from the city, finishing the school day. barely a teen, hand in hand with your best friends. your father sat you in the empty saloon, putting his hands on your shoulders.

"you're quitting school."

just a month after you buried your mother, he told you that. there was nobody to help him, he had to fire his staff, and laid his trust into you. the business was crazy that week. who wouldn't want to come and see the owner's little daughter serving alcohol? those men congratulated your father on your birth, watched you play on the street, went to your mother's funeral and wailed with you, came to the saloon to see you struggle with bottles and glasses, only later to have their filthy hands all over you as soon as you turned eighteen. it doesn't stop, no matter how many times you ask. the pleading only makes them do it more, those sick bastards. and each one of them have a wife waiting at home, and a child comforting her.

"hey, bitch, over here!"

monday was a peaceful day. no work, not at the saloon at least. but a basket full of dirty old clothes awaits by the door, waiting to be washed. it is a cold autumn morning, the sun very low in the sky and not warming at all. you drag your feet across the field, hands red from the weight of the basket and the frost. your dress catches onto various branches and bushes, but you do not look back. you need to be done before noon, so you can make lunch for your father.

reaching the river, you drop the basket on the dying grass. a few flowers are still scattered here and there, fighting their way through the cold morning dew. as you scrub your father's shirt on the washboard, you notice just how old those clothes have gotten. you both need new ones, you cannot be walking around looking like the poorest people in town, while owning a saloon. but your father sees no value in those things. talking to him is like talking to a wall that might hit you if you say something it doesn't like. so you keep your mouth shut.

the used, thin washboard suddenly snaps under your hands, a piece of wood jamming into your skin and making you yelp. your skin being almost frozen from being in cold water, and then getting pierced, makes you finally break down. you hug your knees to your chest, and bury your head into the muddy dress. you're cold, in pain, and you miss your mother. your friends. the life you had, and the life you were supposed to have.

sometimes, you selfishly blamed your mother for dying. if she was still here, you could've had a life just like your friends. finding a job in the big city, a man too, a decent one. not this.

you hide your hands in the ruffles of your worn out dress, seeking warmth. you cannot go back home without washing the rest of the clothes, and the sun is rising faster than you want it to. noon will come by soon, and you will have two tasks unfinished. your father won't be pleased.

a distant neigh and galloping have your attention, your head curiously turning to see who it could be. your heart almost sinks when you see the speed the horses are headed at towards you, but with legs and bum frozen on the ground, you cannot move. all you can do is close your eyes in defeat, hoping for the best.

the gallop stops, now switching to a trot. you open your eyes, and see two shiny horses in front of you. the two men riding them dismount, one of them standing next to his horse and taking the leash from the other one. the taller man adjusts his hat, gaze fixed on the floor, and fastens his holster. you gulp, seeing the shiny revolver resting on his hip. then, he raises his head to finally look at you. you almost forget the potential danger of the situation once you look at his brown eyes. he is tall. very tall. and absolutely gorgeous. you look away, suddenly aware of how you look. heavens, what a perfect timing.

"oh, it's just a doe." he says, voice soft and sweet. he tilts his head, trying to get you to look at him. when you don't, he takes a step closer to you, careful not to scare you away. "came for a morning refreshment?"

you don't respond. instead, you look at the man behind him. he stands still, leashes in his hands. his clothes are a bit more rugged than the ones on the man in front of you, but it fits his image very well. then, your eyes betray you end lay on the man in front of you again. he wears a brown leather jacket with fringes, dark blue jeans, and matching brown boots. his brown hat sits perfectly on his head, giving him a mysterious look. he notices you staring, and only chuckles softly. he reaches into his saddlebag, retrieving something wrapped in a white cloth.

"hungry?"

this time, your stomach is the one that betrays you. it decides to grumble as soon as you shake your head no, making the man chuckle again.

"go on, you can have it. you look like you need it."

he holds it out for you to take, closing the distance further. you step back, remembering your father's words.

"no speaking to other men outside of the saloon. if i see you do that, i will personally declare you a whore. nobody will want to marry you, and you'll be alone for the rest of your life."

charming. the man doesn't give up, as he steps further towards you. you step back again, hunger, fear and curiosity fighting inside of you and making you sick to your stomach.

"it's alright. it's just food, i don't mean you any harm."

but he doesn't know what words ring inside your head. taking another step back, your heart almost stops once again. you have stepped into the shallow river, your body losing balance following. the handsome cowboy drops the item on the floor, and firmly grabs your waist and pulls you back to stand on the grass. you instinctively grab onto his shoulders for support, and he pulls your body into his. you breathe out when your chest collides with his, overwhelmed by the situation.

"clumsy girl," he teases.

you can't make yourself move, not only because you don't want to, but because his grip is firm on your waist. he safely moves you away from the water and removes one hand from your body, only to move the loose strands of hair from your face.

"wyatt," he calls.

the other man steps towards the two of you, not uttering a word.

"you go on. i'll catch up with you."

without protest, he gets on his horse, nods towards his companion, then gallops away. you are left alone with the ridiculously handsome cowboy, now feeling a bit warmer than a few moments ago. the man finally lets go of you, picking up the cloth from the ground. a distant thunder surprises you, and you look over at the scattered clothes. the black clouds over the mountains are covering the blue sky quite fast, and it just seems at this moment that everything is working against you.

you hurriedly collect the remaining dirty clothes, crouching down and brushing it against the half of the washboard as best as you can. your hand is in pain, still dripping red, but your father's consequences are more painful. you'd rather have a hundred more splinters ripping your skin than your father slapping you across the face like he is used to.

the man lets you finish, turning his attention to the horse. in the corner of your eye, you see him caressing the horse's mane. the animal leans into his hand, enjoying the comfort of his warm and caring touch. he looks so tough, yet his actions are a complete opposite.

"if you're done staring, you can join me."

caught red handed, and red cheeked, you turn around to see him sat under the nearby tree, opening the white cloth. he sets it on the ground near him, and folds his arms across his chest. you pick up the now clean clothes, the broken washboard forgotten and floating somewhere further down the field. you sit next to him, the food serving as an imaginary border. he takes his hat off, putting it over his face and rests his head against the tree.

"if you're embarrassed to eat in front of me. now i won't look. eat. please."

and you do. you take a bite of the biscuit, enjoying it like it's your first one ever. you take the chance now that he doesn't see anything to properly look around. his horse is gorgeous, white with brown legs and head. you then look at its owner, still chewing on the biscuit. the more you look at him, the more your stomach feels all fuzzy. is this what it feels like to be attracted to a man? are you finally experiencing a crush?

you should really get home.

thunder grumbles again, causing the horse to become restless.

"shh, you're good." the cowboy says soothingly, not moving from his spot. and the horse listens.

it soothes you too, because you lean against the tree like him, and silently eat. your breathing matches his, and for a moment, you think that he has fallen asleep. until you start feeling drops of rain on your head. you don't say anything. you don't really need to, because the man interrupts his short break by standing up and putting his hand out for you to take. you take it, your hand melting into his as he helps you up. his touch is secure, and gentle. nobody has ever held you this way, and you are afraid you might get used to it. he leads you to his horse, throwing his spare jacket your way.

"i'll take you home."

"no!"

the cowboy scrunches his eyebrows, and abruptly turns towards you. his hand doesn't leave yours, no matter how hard you pull. "she speaks." he says, as if he made an important discovery.

you shake your head frantically, repeating yourself. "no, you can't."

"why?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"because."

"that's not a valid answer, sunshine."

if your stomach wasn't turning from the difficult situation you have found yourself in, it would turn from the simple nickname coming from his mouth. you aren't quite sure whether you're feeling nervous because of your father, or because of the handsome stranger. you remember that he is just a stranger, no matter in how much awe he has you. if you get on his horse, he could take you anywhere. but if you don't get on his horse, he could simply tie you up and take you with him anyway.

fuck.

"i like to walk." you blurt out, grabbing the basket of clothes and holding it in front of you, as if shielding yourself from him.

"lies."

"please, just leave me alone. thank you for the food, and for, well, not letting me fall into the water, but-"

"does he beat you every day?"

he says it with a tone so serious it has your blood going cold in your veins. his gaze becomes stone cold, dark, and it pierces right through you. seeing your distressed face, he steps towards you again, moving your hair away from your neck. the bruise you thought you so cleverly hid now uncovered in front of him. funny how a potentially dangerous stranger shows more interest in it than the town.

"or only when you do something wrong?"

"i don't see how that's any of your business."

"it isn't. however, if you want it to stop, you might have to make it my business."

you wish for nothing more than for it to stop. but exactly how does this man plan to make it his business? talk to your father? teach him a lesson? or the worst?

"i'll tell you what. i'll bring you just to the hill so nobody sees us, and you think about what i said until then."

you nod, defeated. you really need to get home as quick as possible and get started on the lunch. the cowboy helps you up on the horse, then climbs behind you. this is the closest you've ever been to a man, and if you weren't sneakily reading those short romance stories in the back of the discarded newspaper, you would think that you are becoming ill by how hot your cheeks feel. when he grabs the leash, also helping you hold the basket in the process, you take your time to admire his hands. pretty pale fingers, slightly muddy from maybe hours or days of riding. he smells of whiskey, vanilla and a hint of tobacco. you allow yourself a moment of weakness, closing your eyes and inhaling the scent. it doesn't help the way his warm chest and torso are pressed against your back, rubbing against you with each horses gallop.

when you open your eyes, you are disappointed to see the hill. it means that the short little adventure with the mystery cowboy has come to an end, and that you might never see him again. it's all up to you. and you hate that.

he helps you down, then fixes the ruffles of your dress that were slightly turned upwards from riding while you are occupied with the clothes in the basket.

"well?" he finally says, seeing that you have no intention of speaking first.

"i'll be fine." you lie.

you almost miss the way he bites the inside of his cheek from disappointment. almost. he nods, understandingly, and approaches you. for the last time, maybe. he takes your hand in his, thumb rubbing over the place where your splinter is. "take care of that. wouldn't want such pretty hands to be in pain or have a scar."

he kisses the back of it, eyes not once leaving yours. you almost shiver, from the cold and from his touch.

"thank you for your company, dove. we must part ways now, but i do hope i see you again one day. you are too pretty to forget."

he takes his hat off to say his goodbye, then climbs back on his horse. with a sweet smile and a nod, he gallops away. you stand there and watch, heart swelling with sadness. you watch and watch, until he becomes just a small little dot in the distance.

weeks pass, and your life dynamic does not change. you still serve drunk perverts, avoid sexual offers, cook, and freeze yourself by the river. only now, you wake up earlier than usual, and keep looking at your surroundings in hopes of seeing a familiar brown hat. but you never see it. it's been almost two months, and not a single sign from him. maybe for the best. he did look like bad news. very handsome bad news.

you currently sit in a dark corner in the saloon, reading last weeks newspaper for the romance update on the last page. the appearance of the main character morphs into the cowboy in your head. no longer short, blonde haired with blue eyes and bulk figure, but dark haired with a short mullet, with brown eyes and a slender figure. you didn't even catch his name, yet you shamelessly daydream about him.

the doors of the saloon aggressively swing, startling you and breaking your bubble. you turn the newspaper upside down, hiding your little secret. a young man, known as denver, stands at the entrance, face pure horror. your father approaches him, putting his hands on his shoulders to calm him down.

"what's wrong, boy?"

denver barely gets his sentence out, before countless gallops are heard outside, accompanied with various screams. "he's here."

"who is?"

"the stallion."

you have never seen your father scared. and that scared you even more. he took a step back, abandoning the young man. the saloon became a mess, everyone pushing each other on the way to the exit, but suddenly coming to a halt. you stand up, taking your place behind the bar. the people are stepping back, slowly, still facing towards the doors. they separate in two groups, making way for the intruder. and when your eyes land on the intruder, you swear your heart could jump right on the bar in front of you.

your cowboy, your mystery man, the man you prayed you'd see again, stands in your saloon. drenched in blood and dust, sweaty, and with a revolver in his hand. the look on his face when he sees you tells you that you weren't meant to see him in this state. but he doesn't say anything. instead, he approaches the bar, along with his companions. they are all a mess, but not as much as him.

"good day, darling."

your stomach twists again, and you have to fight the urge to smile. you can't smile, not when everyone around you is terrified. you clear your throat, collecting any stray thoughts before speaking. "good day, sir."

"two rooms. and two bottles of whiskey waiting for me tonight." he says, a sweet smile on his lips.

"uh, yes-"

"there are no rooms available for you." your father interrupts, making his way to the bar.

the cowboy raises his eyebrow, then looks at your father. "oh?"

"yes. so i'm afraid you'll have to call it a day here."

the young man chuckles, eyes returning to your face. he throws a roll of money on the counter, then pushes is towards your father with his stained revolver. "don't be afraid, we won't."

you feel caged by his gaze, afraid to even move. why are you here, you wanted to ask. and why do you look like that. his clothes might look different, but the look on his face when he looks at you stays the same. in the corner of your eye, you notice someone trying to exit sneakily. but the cowboy also seems to catch it, because he points his trusted weapon toward the ceiling and-

"argh!" the woman screams, pure fear painted on her face.

"nobody leaves, until i get two fucking rooms and two bottles of whiskey. have i made myself clear?" he slams the revolver on the counter, causing you to jolt and step back. "now, if your pretty little daughter said that i can have them, just why the fuck are you meddling?"

defeated, your father takes the money, then nods your way. "show them."

alone?, you wanted to ask. but your tongue feels swollen, and your jaw heavy. you don't say anything. instead, you look at the fearsome cowboy, then proceed upstairs. the three of them follow, not uttering a word. you reach the rooms, opening the doors for them to see. the cowboy nods towards the room, sending them a signal to go in. when the two finally close the door, the dark haired man wastes no time in softly pinning you against the wall, just between the two doors.

"there, there. are you that scared of me, sunshine?"

you swear your eyes couldn't get any wider, and you hate it. you must look like a freak to him. but if you do, he doesn't show any disgust. he removes your hair from your neck once again, letting it fall down your back. his knuckles caress the now yellow spot on the neck, the bruise slowly healing.

his eyes shift from the bruise to your eyes, his gaze softening. "not excited to see me?"

you gulp, figuring which words to use. you are, and you are not. you don't even know.

"that's okay."

his other hand find its spot on the back of your head, slightly tilting it so that the injured side of the neck is more exposed. you feel his warm breath against your skin, growing hotter and closer. you finally let out a noise, it being a whimper rather than a proper word or sentence. soft lips graze your skin, before his tongue delicately swipes across your bruise. your stomach has never felt fuzzier, and your head is in the clouds. all those butterflies you felt while reading the newspaper have now turned into a volcano, waiting to erupt any second. the cowboy continues giving attention to your now sensitive neck, having you tremble in his arms.

he notices, putting his other hand on your waist and pushing you further into the wall, silently ordering you to stay still. he leans his own body into you, warm sensation enveloping you and causing you to moan into his ear.

realizing your horrible mistake, your hands quickly find their way to his firm chest, in an attempt to push him away. but instead, your fingers grip the fabric of his ruined leather jacket, and your head falls completely in his control. his hand massages your scalp, all while his tongue never leaves you. he switches from tender kisses, to kitten licks, and if he doesn't stop soon, you might just drip all over the floor and his shoes. 

as if he heard you, he delivers one final kiss, before he pulls away. "i'll see you downstairs at dinner. thank you for the room, dove. and for the lunch."

hearing the door slam shut, you can finally breathe normally. you are left to tremble against the wall, your neck and underwear wet, all because of him. you rush to one of the empty rooms, at the end of the hallway. you lock it, then toss yourself on the bed. you waste no time in flipping your dress over, your fingers finding the soft folds between your legs. you gasp, more at the state of it than the feeling. you are soaked, your fingers almost slipping from your folds.

you spend a worrying amount of time trying to please yourself somehow, but the buildup is just growing and growing, not giving any signs of erupting soon. no matter how much you picture your handsome cowboy, just a few doors away.

and you don't even know his name.

"did he touch you?"

"what?!"

"i'm serious. did he do anything to you?"

"father-" since when do you care? "he didn't!"

he continues to follow you while you serve the guests, asking questions and demanding to know the truth. "did he say anything?"

"like?"

"anything."

"he asked for a prostitute and i said i'm available tonight."

smack.

nobody turns, already used to your father's free will. you bite the inside of your now stinging hot  cheek, wishing for nothing more than to hit him with the bottle of gin you had in your hand.

"fucking slut. just like your mother. give me that." he yanks the tray from your hands, causing two glasses to fall and shatter. "pick that up, and go to the stables."

"but it's dinner time-"

"judith will help me. go. now."

not only do you end up not eating yourself, but you don't see the man whose lips you're still feeling on you. maybe that's why your father told you to leave, just so you don't see him. is it possible that he knows today isn't the first time you see the cowboy?

you search for his horse, the one you thought was the prettiest one you've seen. but it's not in the stable.

"it got shot. he had to put her down." slowly getting used to sudden intrusions, you turn around. one of his companions sit on a block of hay.

"oh." is all you manage to say.

"a shame, really. especially because she was a present from his wife."

"what?" you turn around, the bucket of carrots falling from your hands.

"ah, he didn't tell you? why would he. he wouldn't be able to get into your pants if you knew he was married. haven't you noticed something shiny on his finger?"

no, no you haven't. because you were so mesmerized by his face and behavior you didn't question whether he has someone waiting for him at home. besides, a married man wouldn't... touch you the way he did?

"ah, poor thing. you thought he had a thing for you? you don't compare to his wife. he's an outlaw after all, our yunho. his wife is a perfect match for him, almost a female version of him. did you know that the bounty on her head is higher than his?"

you feel like you could throw up. from multiple reasons. you let a married man touch you. hell, you touched yourself to a married man. not just an ordinary man, but an outlaw? what if his wife finds out? is she really that dangerous? will you be next on her victim list? not able to contain the emotions any longer, you run to the corner, bending over the blocks of hay and puking on the floor.

"ah, there, there. i'm quite surprised, that was the calmest reaction yet. other women tend to jump at his throat immediately."

other women? the ground sways under your feet, threatening to crumble and swallow you.

"since you're not in a state to speak, i'll answer all the questions in your head. have a seat, please."

you finally take a good look at the man once you sit down, seeing him stand up in front of you. he's no less handsome than the cowboy, yunho, and he is older. but the somewhat evil smirk on his face is off putting. you hold the now empty bucket in your lap, carrots laying on the ground for the horses to feast on. just in case you feel sick again.

"see, while yunho does love his dear wife, she can be a bit of a handful for him. too... dominant for him, one could say. so he seeks submissiveness in other women, just like you. women who are the opposite to lori, women who are, well, nothing. much like you."

his words shoot at your heart, and you know he is right. it just feels disappointing to hear it out loud. were you really a nothing?

"he sleeps with them and whatever, and kindly robs them while they sleep from exhaustion. the rest of us do the same with others, not to worry. it's rude to exclude, don't you think? you know, you should really pay more attention to that notice board next to your house. my head is the third one from the left, right under the mighty stallion."

"why would you tell me this? what's in it for you?"

"my, you speak! what's in it for me? nothing, if i'm being honest. i just happen to be aware of the treatment your father gives you, and i guess the years are starting to catch up to me. i think i feel pity."

"you're going to ask for something in return, aren't you?"

"clever girl, you are." he crouches in front of you, cupping your cheek and caressing it with his thumb. "give me what you wanted to give yunho."

"i didn't want to-"

"you think i'm dumb? like you? i know that if he had only asked you, you would've jumped in his bed right away. therefore, i tell you, give me what i ask."

"no."

the older man scoffs, then stands up again. his hand remains on your cheek, but his thumb stops caressing it. he removes it, only to bring it back with a slap. losing balance, you fall on the ground. the man doesn't give you any time to process what just happened, grabbing you by your shoulders and throwing you on the pile of hay. you open your mouth, letting out a scream that gets cut off by his lips on your mouth. they feel greasy, reeking of onion and beef, not remotely close to yunho's.

your hands are trapped above your head, his hand holding it in place while his other one struggles with the layers of your dress and apron. you kick, as fast and hard as you can, but you only manage to piss him off. he pulls away, only to spit in your face.

"i bet you wouldn't give yunho a hard time like this. why do all women have to be so difficult? all i want to do is make you feel good, baby."

tears stream down your face, words stuck in your throat. even though nothing is blocking your mouth anymore, you don't speak.

"you know, if you just let me... i'd get rid of your father for good. i could take you with me, i'd make you feel good any time you ask. i could-"

his words are left hanging in the air, and you feel hot liquid splash over your face. the shooting noise catches up to you right after the man's body falls on you, lifeless. you finally scream, lungs hurting from the amount of it. your hands fly to your face, wiping off the liquid and staring at it. red drips down your hands, onto your neck, pure terror filling your body as you realize you have someone's remains all over you. short and fast breaths leave your mouth, chest compressed under his heavy figure. it is not until another figure pulls him off you, and puts his hand over your mouth with hushing noises.

"it's alright, love." you recognize the voice as wyatt's, who then helps you up. "hey, you're fine."

you're not. you do not know who to trust. then again, when you don't trust your own father, why bother?

"let's get you washed."

after splashing your face with cold water and wiping it with his handkerchief, wyatt helps you to the back entrance of the saloon, then goes back to the stables. probably to finish the business.

you find yourself laying in the guest bed again, only this time, the sheets aren't wet from arousal, but from tears. you spend at least two hours, eyes fixed on the wooden ceiling . you feel dirty, still feeling his dirty hands all over you. your fingers hesitantly touch your face, afraid that you'll stain them red again. your dress and apron still have droplets of now brown liquid. is this what yunho does? is that why he looked the way he did when he entered the saloon? only the blood on his clothes was still red, still very fresh.

if what the dead man said was true, then you best stay out of the cowboy's way. and just like that, your secret little romance story has turned into a horror one.

the next few days, you don't see yunho much. you see the prostitutes coming down from the top floor, sometimes two or three of them at a time. and you are disgusted. you only see him at breakfast, from afar, and he doesn't show much interest in approaching you. his companions surround him, making the frown on his face bigger every day. were they discussing the strategy of robbing the town? was there something in their way?

for a split second, the man catches your gaze. his eyes soften, and you swear you could see a faint smile on his lips. but you couldn't return it. not when you know the intentions behind it. the soft look is replaced by confusion, which grows even bigger when you only spare him an ice cold glance and move on with your work.

saturday evening, the saloon is full. it is foggy, reeks of cigarettes and alcohol, and is loud. you don't see him or his crew yet, and you are thankful for it. at least one evening of peace. so far.

"it's kind of disappointing, you know? i mean, the sex is amazing. well, you know. you had him yesterday. but it's so sad that the town fears him and wants him dead. wouldn't mind having a piece of that every day. my body is burning, and it's been two days, but i still want more."

"i know, right? what a shame. i wish he'd stick around longer. i don't know about you, but i love that thrill of knowing that he's an outlaw. a wanted man, a gorgeous wanted man, having his way with me? i don't think anything will top that. i mean, did you see his-"

"another drink?" you interrupt, not able to listen anymore.

they giggle among each other before handing you the downed glasses. the saloon quiets down when they hear thuds coming from the stairs. you regret looking up, eyes immediately locking with familiar brown ones. everyone seems to watch their step, ready to get up and free a table if yunho desires it. oh, the amount of power he holds. that isn't supposed to make you feel some type of way. you're supposed to hate him.

but how, when he approaches you so politely, tucking that loose piece of hair that's been bothering you all evening behind your ear. such a simple gesture, which awakes the oceans in you, and probably means nothing to him. just a foreplay, before he finally cages you and fulfills his plans.

slowly, but surely, the music goes on. the people are relaxed once they see yunho doesn't have any thirst for blood tonight.

"gin."

"right away."

the night goes on, with you tending to everyone. and the cowboy follows you with his eyes, so much that the two women at the bar near him start throwing themselves at him just to get his attention.

"say, when are we going to have fun again?"

"yeah, stallion. did you forget us already?"

yunho chuckles, seeing you approach the other side of the bar and mouth their words with a mocking face. you hear him, raising your head enough to look at him. caught red handed, you only awkwardly press your lips in a thin line, continuing to wash the dirty glasses.

"you were never really ones to remember," yunho simply says, bringing the glass to his lips and downing the drink in one go.

he stands up, not sparing the women a glance even after they audibly gasp and start murmuring among each other. he approaches your father, saying something into his ear, then looks at you once again before disappearing upstairs.

"here," a clean washcloth lands on the bar counter by the end of the night.

"what?"

"that cowboy, stallion. he needs a bath."

"so? he can get his own washcloths. why do i need to- oh."

"yeah, oh. we haven't had a single man in a while, so there was no need for edith. now you can go fill her position."

great.

you knock on the door, and use the other hand to fix your hair before you hear him say come in. you do as told, two washcloths secure in your hand as you go deeper in the room. it takes everything in you to stand still not collapse from the sight. his clothes are carelessly dumped on the floor, and he lays still in the wooden basin filled with water. the place is steamy, the fireplace keeping the winter cold away. yunho has his arms hanging from the basin, and his head resting against the edge. the steam has caused his hair to stick to his face, which was shiny. droplets of sweat roll down his neck and into the water, and you think that is the most beautiful sight you've ever seen.

he is so manly, so handsome, and so...

"you gonna stand there and watch while i slowly cook myself into a stew here?"

he is fresh shaven, that is the first thing you notice when you approach him. he lazily opens his eyes, the hot water having relaxed his muscles a bit more than he wanted to. "right, sorry."

you wet one washcloth, then wrap it around a bar of soap. you haven't done this since... ever. yes, you helped wash your sick cousin. but she was sick, and it was different. this? having a whole man naked right in front of you, and you were supposed to touch him?

"go on. i don't bite. not unless you want to."

"i really don't." you murmur, finally pressing the soap against his hot skin.

you exhale, your heart threatening to escape from your chest and jump into the basin with the cowboy. a thin layer of fabric is all that is in the way of you finally feeling him the way you wanted. a fabric that could so easily just slip from your fingers, and you accidentally touch him. and he likes it. and he acts on it. and-

"i see you breaking your back down there. every day. with your father, with all those perverts, with all those jealous women. you deserve better. my offer still stands, you know?"

"i'm fine," you say, just like last time.

"give yourself some time to think."

the next half hour is quiet. peaceful sounds of the wood cracking, water dripping, and yunho's calm breathing. his eyes are locked on you, and you are sweating as much as him, only for different reasons. you fear that he can read your mind, figure out just how naughty the images in your head are getting. but when it gets to a certain point, you are reminded of that night, and you stop. that bastard has stolen your first kiss, and almost stole your first time. if anything, you are thankful that yunho has brought wyatt with him.

"uh... can you sit up straight?"

yunho raises an eyebrow, amused. you clear your throat when he doesn't move, looking around before finally figuring it out.

"could you sit up straight, sir? please?"

"right away, darling."

he does as asked, exposing his back to you. heavens, you want to- you want to- you don't even know what you want. there he sits, a whole meal right in front of you, and all you can do is breathe heavily and act all clumsy. you rub the soap on his back, gently massaging him and feeling every line on his body.

"you missed a spot."

"huh?"

"right here." his warm hand takes your wrist, guiding you towards his chest once again. your hand rests over his beating heart, and if you weren't so foolishly focused on seeing what the missed spot was, you would've seen the look on his face that is yelling to kiss him.

"oh, sorry."

he doesn't get angry. instead, he chuckles fondly. you are so delicate and innocent, it hurts him. too mesmerized by your focused face, he doesn't notice that your hand is traveling to his stomach. he jolts, hand clasping your wrist so tight that it has you whimper. you seem to have found a sensitive spot, not only to the body, but to the mind and heart. the look on his face shifts from a soft to an angry one, and you take it as your cue to step back.

"that's all. you can go." he mutters, looking away from you.

"but-"

"i'll finish up. go."

coming back to the stables, it takes a lot of energy. you first go during the day, with jongho. he knew, wyatt told him. the rest only knew that wyatt and the man got into a fight and wyatt had to shoot him. jongho is understanding, kind, and doesn't seem to share any of the qualities that the dead man had given them. not only is he not interested in doing any harm to the town and its people, but he is rather helpful.

yunho, again, is nowhere to be seen. you hesitate to ask. you don't know what you did wrong, but you pray that the night isn't your last encounter with him.

you stand in front of the stables, memories flooding your brain once you see the hay blocks. they have been rearranged, some destroyed, possibly by jongho or wyatt. the horses are sitting together in the corner, enjoying the warmth of each other during the first snowy day.

"i can't do it." 

"that's alright. i won't force you. i just don't want one sick man to keep haunting you even when he's no longer here."

"i need time."

jongho only smiles reassuringly, patting your shoulder. he's nice, why doesn't your stomach toss and turn when you see him the way it does when you see yunho?

"i still wonder what he told you about yunho. your behaviour towards him isn't at all like he described it."

"what, he spoke to you about me?"

wyatt subtly kicks his knee from the side, ordering him to stop. but jongho feels rather mischievous today, and is growing annoyed of his leader. they were supposed to move on days ago, not behave like tourists.

"you first. i want to know why you despise him. well, except obvious reasons." the young man turns around, pointing at their companions scattered in the main street, keeping people away and scared.

you sit on the bench in front of the stable, running your hands through your already messy hair before finding the right words to say. "is he married?"

the two men look at each other, their faces not giving you much of an answer. they are extremely good at masking their emotions. wyatt sighs, sitting down to your right. "yes. and no."

"what do you mean? yes or no?"

"well, it's complicated." jongho says, sitting to your left.

"it's also not our story to tell," wyatt adds, looking over at jongho with a warning look, "yunho is the one that should be telling you."

you scoff, making both men look at you in confusion. "does it matter? he'll just sleep with me, you all will do your part of the job, and then you'll leave. i should do it as soon as possible, for both of our sakes. i imagine you can't wait to leave this town, just like we can't wait for you to leave."

"listen, if yunho wanted to harm you, he would. we never stay in one place longer than three days. we've been here far longer, as you can see. i don't know the reason yet, but i know he doesn't mean any harm. did he have a change of heart? doubt it. will he continue his crimes? i don't doubt that. is there something holding him here? yes, yes there is. i might have a guess, but-"

"jongho. shut the fuck up."

"i wasn't going to tell her, wyatt, relax."

the two men bicker over you, random words and sentences traveling to your ears and overstimulating your brain. you start feeling dizzy, suddenly overwhelmed by everything. you stand up and march down the street, leaving the two men to feel bad on the bench.

the next time you go to the stables, it is night again. and it is because your father throws a glass at you. it hits the wall right next to you, breaking, shards flying into your skin. you have nowhere to go, yunho's companions basically running the town by now. you don't need one of them to get a hold of you again. you sit on the new pile of hay, far in the corner. sobbing, pulling at your hair, cursing yourself.

how wise would it be to actually take his offer? would you be able to survive on your own? or would every single man in town finally be happy that you're all alone, unprotected, and out of someone's cage.

it hurts to even think about it, and it causes you to sob even more. your chest hurts, and after what seems like hours of crying, you aren't sure if it's from physical or emotional pain.

the animals seem to feel sorry for you, because soon enough two horses find their comfort in the hay right next to you, shielding your figure from the outside world. you can't help but laugh at the bigger one, his head pushing into your lap and demanding attention.

"aren't you cute?"

your fingers gently caress its neck, lulling it to sleep. it seems like the whole stable was affected, because soon enough they all start laying down one by one, calling it an early night and pulling you to sleep with them. funny how you got way more peace and affection from animals than your own family.

"moonshine."

click. click. click.

"come on, girl."

the warm surface you were laying on moves, following the mouth clicking noises and leaving your head to rest on the hay. you're still asleep, not aware that someone else has joined you in the stable. but the other person isn't aware that you're there either.

"there's my good girl," the man pets the black stallion, which lives up to its name and stands under the moonlight, in its full glory and shine. "aren't you beautiful?"

your eyes peel open, the voice slowly waking you up. you hear crunching, and a bucket rattling. when you finally open your eyes, you see the outline of the familiar figure at the entrance. it is not yet morning, that you figure out by the darkness that has swallowed the place. the only light being the gas lantern hanging from the saloons entrance, you don't see much. but you recognize that hat and figure anywhere.

"i wish you could speak, my pretty moonshine. you'd tell me why blood was spilled, and why my pretty girl won't lay her eyes on me anymore."

his...? his pretty girl? you don't move a muscle, hoping to hear more. the mare only points its head towards the bucket, demanding more food. yunho chuckles, reaching for another apple.

"do you think i scared her away? i made sure she knows i don't mean any harm to her. did someone fill her pretty head with something?"

the mare lets out a noise, as if wanting to confirm. yunho exhales, then sets the bucket aside. he goes further into the stable, walking just past you and grabs the saddle from the corner. going back, his boot gets caught in your dress, and causes him to halt. you shut your eyes, pretending to still sleep.

"heavens." he exhales.

you feel him get closer to you, and almost betray yourself when you feel his knuckles caress your face.

"darling?"

his voice is usually low and pleasant, but hearing him whisper is just something else. why does he have to be so perfect, yet so dangerous?

you stretch, pretending to not notice him yet. finally opening your eyes, you fake a gasp. you lean back into the hay, trying to keep a distance from him. he crouches in front of you, fixing his hat. you can't get over how well it suits him.

"had a good nap?"

"well, yes. had." you mumble, rubbing your eyes.

"that's no place to sleep, dove."

"it's the only place that gives me comfort right now."

he nods, understandingly. he offers you his hand to take, and you only look at him, puzzled.

"i'll take you to a place that will give you more comfort."

"i'm not sure-"

"that wasn't a question." the tone is serious, but the wink he gives you after it relaxes you.

the cowboy stands up, making his way to his mare. you stand up, dusting off your dress and following him. he puts the saddle on the horse, securing it, then offers you his hand again. this time you take it, not yet sure what he had in mind.

"go on, climb her."

"uh... she's quite... bigger than the last one. or any other one i rode on."

"yeah, moonshine is quite something. she's gentle though, nothing to worry about. go on, don't be shy."

with a bit of struggle, and a little push from yunho, you finally sit comfortably on the tall mare. she indeed shines under the moon, black fur reflecting beautifully in the dark night. yunho climbs behind you, taking the leash in his hands and guiding the mare down the street.

"is she fast?"

"she can be. want to see?"

"i don't know. i might scream."

he chuckles. he maintains the pace, gracefully trotting down the quiet sleepy town. you see some of his companions keeping watch, each nodding their heads your way as you pass them. your gaze falls on his hands, searching for the shiny item that was mentioned that night. but you don't see it. was it really a lie? or did yunho somehow know, and took it off? is the wife even real?

"hold on tight." he whispers into your ear, hot breath brushing your neck and cheek.

you grab onto his thighs, instinctively, right before you pass the last house and yunho whips the leash against the mare. it neighs, puts its two front legs up in the air and almost throws you on the grown. you gasp, but manage to collect yourself once the animal returns to its position and starts galloping. it feels like you're flying, and you're enjoying it more than you're scared of it. your hair flies into his face probably, but he doesn't say anything.

you pass hills, past the river where you first saw the man, and into the mountains. you don't remember the last time you went this far outside of town. not only because you weren't allowed, but you had no time or way. it's not as if you had a horse of your own.

his thighs are firm under your hands, nothing but pure muscle. and it suddenly drives you crazy, the way you feel his torso pressed against your back, arms holding the leash and keeping you from falling off along the way, his breath against your ear.

"you alright?"

"yes!"

"how do you feel? scared?"

"this is so much fun! it's scary and fun!"

his laugh is loud over the wind, chest vibrating behind you. the mare slows its pace when arriving on the steep mountain trails, carefully navigating to the top. once there, it comes to a halt. it is not very high, but high enough too overlook the fields, the river, and the distant town. yunho dismounts, then helps you down.

"cold?" he asks, noticing your trembling frame.

"a bit."

this time, he doesn't throw the spare jacket at you like the first time you met. he takes off his own, helping you put it on. it's warm, smells like him, and it's making you so dizzy you might just fall off the cliff. taking a good look at him, you decide that even if he is dangerous, his handsomeness makes up for it. he wears a brown waistcoat, accentuating his thin waist and broad shoulders. heavens, he is so dashing.

you stand still, waiting for his next plan. he pulls a blanket out of the saddlebag, along with the familiar white cloth, and sets it on the ground. the mare continues it's path further up, taking a spot near a boulder, as if used to the situation already. which brings you back to the questions in your head; did he bring other women here?

"sit down, peach. make yourself comfortable."

and you do, right next to him. you both sit still for a few moments, looking at the faint light in the distance. yunho then fidgets with something in the pocket of his jeans, before holding it out for you to take. in his open palm lays a ring, the very ring you've heard about and had your head spinning for days.

"hmph," he laughs through his nose, "figured that was the issue."

"there is no issue. you have a wife. end of story."

"take it."

"no."

"take it."

"i don't want to."

yunho sighs, then closes his hand again. he sits still for a few moments, as if thinking. and then-

"why would you do that?!"

you stand up, watching the shiny piece of jewelry fall from the cliff.

"if you listened and took it, you would've seen how worthless it is."

"i don't need your wedding ring, yunho."

his eyebrows are knit together, and you suddenly realize your mistake.

"you know my name."

"yeah."

"how?"

and you tell him. every detail of it, including the wife story. he listens carefully, face not giving any emotion. typical. by the time you finish, you are laying down and looking up at the shiny sky, tears streaming down your face. yunho is propped up on his elbow, laying on the side and listening. his fingers catch a fresh tear, brushing your cheek in the process. you are left completely baffled when he puts the very same fingers on his lips, tongue peeking out to lick the salty liquid.

"you poor thing." he coos, bringing his hand back to you. he removes the hair from your neck, then smiles with satisfaction once he sees your healed skin. "that's good. seems my medical techniques worked."

you scoff, putting your hair back over your neck with embarrassment. "so, uh... your wife?"

"a psycho."

"oh."

"she stabbed me. almost bled out to death if it weren't for jongho."

he says it so casually, as if it isn't a big deal. "you're still married though, right? that's why you had the ring."

"not quite. we weren't really married. it was just play pretend, so she could have half of everything i was bringing back. once i stopped, the bitch jumped me with a knife. barely made it out alive."

"then... why did you keep it?"

"to keep women away from me. well, those i didn't want."

"but you sleep with them. you use them anyway."

he frowns at the accusation. "no, no i don't. i only rob. i sleep only with prostitues, sometimes. what my companions do is none of my business. we have a deal, and i do not ask about what they do. just like they don't ask about me or what i do."

so, not all of it is true. but then again, can you really trust him?

"i'm so sorry, dove. if i knew that sick bastard would go behind my back, even after threatening them not to touch you-"

"it's fine. nothing happened." you try, seeing him get angrier with every second he spends imagining the situation you were in.

"he stole your first kiss."

"well, yes. but, what's done is done. it was barely a kiss, really. more like mouth to mouth breathing. it was like inhaling a whole onion." you say with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. but yunho doesn't laugh. instead, he unbuttons his waistcoat, then his shirt.

"what- what are you doing?"

"well, since you showed me your bruises, and told me your story, it would only be fair that i showed you mine."

you remember the night you washed him, when you went to touch his stomach and he told you to leave. kneeling in front of him, you finally get to see why. a scar decorates his lower torso, just above the jeans and the v-line. you breathe in, ready to do something you would only in your dreams.

you lean in, hands trembling against the blanket and fingers scrunching it from the nervous state you're in. yunho shivers, feeling your lips press against his scar. you don't stop there, inspired by his own actions. you allow your tongue to graze it, and when you get another gasp from him, you take it as a sign to keep going. his hand finds its place under your chin, raising your head to that you can look at him. and he snaps.

he grabs you by your waist, pulling you up so that you sit in his lap. you don't fight back, you're enjoying it. over the layers of the dress, you feel something poking you, and it makes your cheeks heat up.

"stop looking at me like that." he whispers, lips inches away from yours.

"like what?"

"with those big eyes. like you want me to ravish you right here."

"maybe i do."

"you're saying risky things, sugar."

seeing that he doesn't intend on making the first move, you do. you close the distance, pressing your lips against his. you don't know what you're doing, but try your best. luckily, he gives in, humming into your lips and kissing you properly. his hands on your waist scrunch the fabric of your dress as he contains himself from just pushing you below him and having you his way. he needs to take it slow. you're not like others.

"relax your jaw." he mumbles, and when you do, he allows his tongue to touch your lips, as if asking for permission to enter. and you grant it, parting your lips and unsurely letting your tongue join his.

he massages your muscle with his own skilled one, rubbing it just right and making your thighs rub and seek pleasure. he kisses you slow, and deep, each stroke of his tongue more passionate than the previous one. he feels you get annoyed by something, and is forced to stop.

"what is it?"

"as much as i love your hat, it's in the way."

the man chuckles below you, immediately removing the hat and putting it on your head. "there."

"how do i look?" you adjust it, getting used to the new item.

"like a feast."

with a swift move, yunho pulls your body closer to his face, so that it is between your legs. his hands shuffle through the layers of fabric, finally finding the undergarment and pushing it aside. "what are you doing? i'm going to squish you!"

"sit."

"what?!"

"sit."

you hover above him, not yet listening. this time, he is the one to get annoyed, and puts his hands on your bottom. he slams you against his face, tongue immediately licking a stripe up your already slick folds. you gasp, hand flying to his shoulders for support.

"rock your hips, sunshine. make yourself feel good."

you do as told, rocking your hips back and forth on his tongue, soft moans and gasps leaving your mouth. you tremble in his hands, the newfound pleasure too much for you to handle. "i can't- yunho, it's too much-"

the man only sends you a mischievous look, before taking the situation into his own hands. his plush lips close around your clit, sucking it, while the tip of his tongue teases the tip of your clit. you let out a long and loud moan, body shuddering from the surge of intense pleasure.

"fuuuck-" you whine, hips hopelessly grinding against his tongue.

deciding it's enough, yunho flips you underneath him with a swift motion. "do you want to do this?"

"yes, please."

"then, i'll have to prepare you. since you asked so nicely."

he flips your dress over, exposing your wet bottom to the cool air. you shiver again, his jacket not helping much with the cold.

"this is going to hurt a little. i promise i'll be gentle."

you nod, then go back to abusing the poor blanket underneath you. you bite into it, feeling his long digits intrude your tight walls. it is unpleasant, but not that painful.

"that's a good girl. you're so wet for me, look how easily you're taking me."

he starts pumping in and out, squelching noises having you completely lose your mind and almost drool on the blanket. his fingers are long, very long. how will you survive his-?

"this good, darling?"

"yes."

"yes, what?"

"yes, sir." you moan out, hips moving along with his hand in hopes of more pleasure.

he doesn't speed up. being soft and slow seems to be his way of doing it, and it is a pace you are enjoying very much. it's not fast, like you do it. you do it to get rid of it. he does it for actual pleasure. when he removes his fingers, you can't help but whine at the loss of contact. he turns you around so that you lay on your back, facing him. his hair is a mess, much like yours, and he smiles lazily at you.

"my needy girl." he coos, pressing a kiss to your lips. "can i claim you, sweet thing?"

"what?"

"do you wish to be mine?"

do you? or is it just the horny speaking instead of you? either way, you might end up regretting. so you simply say:

"yes, sir."

"say my name, darling." he pulls himself out of his jeans, the tip of his cock running circles on your sensitive clit.

"yunho."

he hums, slipping his tip past your folds. "again."

"yunho," you gasp, feeling him inch by inch splitting you in half.

"again."

"yunho-"

"more."

"yunho," thrust, "yunho," thrust, "yunho!"

he gets lost in the feeling of your tight warm walls, hips snapping deep inside of you and driving you crazy. you get wetter by the second, even more when you see him so dizzy. it's nice to know that you have him in a chokehold as much as he has you.

"does it hurt?"

"no," you reply.

"that's because you're so perfectly made for me. look at you, you fit in the palm of my hand."

that's not true, obviously. but the way he says it makes you really feel that you could fit, and that you could stay protected there. his hips collide with yours, and your eyes roll back.

"such a pretty pussy," he growls, pace getting sloppier and slower. "wish i could do this all night long."

"me too," you moan.

his hands rip your dress apart, exposing your chest. his lips waste no time in attaching to your skin, leaving bite marks all over it, until reaching the tense nipples. he takes one in his mouth, tongue swirling around it, while his other hand plays with the other. your fingers find comfort in pulling his hair, subconsciously pushing his head into you further.

"my sweet peach," he coos, cock sliding in and out so easily, "my pretty girl."

"so sweet"

"even your moans are so beautiful"

"use me for your pleasure, darling"

you find yourself moving your hips along with his, only in a faster pace. you need to finally feel that orgasm. you feel something build up in the bottom of your stomach, and you're not sure what to do.

"yunho..."

"yes, my love?"

"i don't know how to- how to orgasm."

"you'll feel it. don't think about it. just relax, and let your body do it. let me do it."

you feel the buildup, then you lose it. again, and again, until you whine about it. yunho turns you around again, so that you are sitting on his lap. you feel him deep in your stomach, almost pulsating.

"let's try this."

he helps you up and down, rolls your hips, until he finds what works for you. you hover above him, hopelessly biting into his neck to contain your inappropriate noises. his hips snap into yours with a fast pace, finally hitting the spot you didn't know existed. the buildup starts again, this time not stopping. and when pleasure washes you over, you can't help but pull at yunho's hair mercilessly, moaning into his ear and letting yourself completely go. he helps you ride it out, waves of intense pleasure washing over you as yunho helps himself get closer.

"fuck, darling." he growls, pulling out of you.

"wait, what about you?"

"i'll just- i don't know."

his hand wraps around his cock, which is ready to unleash any moment. the man almost audibly gasps when he sees you kneel in front of him, innocently opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. just how did you know?

"are you sure?"

"positive."

"absolutely sure?"

"yunho?"

"yes?"

"please cum in my mouth."

and it's all it takes. yunho jerks himself on your tongue, or at least tries to. some of it ends up on your face, but you so carefully try to collect every single drop he gives you. you don't miss the way his head falls back, eyes rolling and low moans escaping his pretty lips. coming down from his high with one last pump and moan, he finally looks at you. the texture on your tongue is not the most pleasant one, but you decide to impress him further, and swallow it. he scoffs in disbelief, running a hand through his hair.

"you are just perfect, aren't you?"

in the morning, the ride back is much more comfortable. you still wear his hat, proudly, and his jacket. he can't help but kiss your shoulder as you ride, having it difficult enough to keep his hands off you. if only he could hold you in his pocket all day.

upon entering the town, you notice the people, your people, standing and waiting. would now be the right time to tell yunho you accept his offer?

he helps you dismount, before taking the revolver in his hand.

"what's this? a rebellion?" he says, mockingly.

"does she know?" your father asks, pointing at you.

you scrunch your eyebrows, looking between the two men. something shines in your fathers hand, and you realize he also holds a revolver.

"there is nothing to know." yunho replies, approaching him and standing in front of you. "you keep your mouth shut."

"oh, but there is. see, my little daughter, if you want to whore around, you could've picked anyone from the town. not your own mother's killer."

blood runs cold in your veins. the sun suddenly doesn't shine as bright anymore, and the man in front of you morphs into someone else. he turns around towards you, shaking his head. "no..."

"he shot her."

"you shot my father!"

"he deserved it!"

"no, the fuck he didn't!"

you step back, tears burning your eyes. did you really give yourself to the man who took your mother away from you? who also took your father away from you?

"listen-" yunho tries, hands reaching to touch you.

"don't touch me."

"he came here to finish the business. but he didn't count that he would fall for the daughter. what a clash of interests."

he doesn't deny it. and it only infuriates you more. so he did have an evil plan after all.

"you came for me, didn't you?" your father presses further, raising his revolver.

"no, i didn't." yunho replies, face changing from a guilty and sorry one to a neutral. "i came for her."

he grabs you by your shoulders, putting his hand over your mouth. you toss, scream, and whatnot, but what are you compared to his grip?

"i assume you won't care much if i took her away. but it would mean much to me. tit for tat."

"you are to never step foot into this town again. not you, not your companions."

yunho nods. and your father puts his weapon away. and it crashes your heart. you know you don't mean much to him, but to give you to an outlaw so easily?

"i came for what i wanted, not to worry. you won't see me ever again."

and just like that, you find yourself tied up and tossed over the black mare.

why did you ever wish for a life other than the one you had?

"you're all mine now, sunshine."

feedback greatly appreciated! <3

[a-tiny-thing]

oh shit, are we in love? || Jongho (m.)

🏀 pairing ⇢ cheerleader! (fem) reader x best friend/basketball player! Jongho

🏀 summary ⇢ you’ve called Jongho your best friend all your life. You were attached at the hip for ages, and even as you take on college together. With no other relationship experience other than with him, when you decide to go after a cute classmate, you look to Jongho for some help. Asking him to practice “things” with you seemed like nothing—that is, until kissing him made you think that you couldn’t kiss anyone else.

🏀 genre/au ⇢ best friends to lovers, college au, smut, fluff

🏀 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ MINORS DNI, unprotected sex, oral sex (male recieving), cum shot, Jongho is a virgin, also is a slut for y/n, drinking, mentions of knee injury, best friends to lovers, college love, cheerleader x basketball player

🏀 word count ⇢ 15.8k (so sorry I just couldnt stop)

🏀 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yukine-smx @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @y00nzin0 @yesv01 @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @gayliljoong @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @baguette-atiny @seokwoosmole @nyeatinyjunkie @juliettechokilo @pockyddalgi @justaqueerbufoin @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @miriamxsworld @daegale @knucklesdeepmingi @naiify @yeoyeoland @arya9111 @mdibby @8tinytings @angelicyeo @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts @mangishii @yeoyeoland @pink-hwaberry @wooyoluvrr @maru-matt @pearltinyy @loveuwoo @m3chigo @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @interweab @skz1-4-3 (if I missed you please lmk!! bold = can’t tag)

spotify playlist

When you were kids, Jongho gave you a ring—a ring made out of straw paper he kept after a trip to get milkshakes after school.

With the paper straw ring, he stuck it on your ring finger. The wrong one, but that didn't matter to him, anyway. He declared to you that he would marry you someday. Someday, whatever that meant to a young kid. With the ring already on your finger, you couldn't exactly decline his proposal, so you just shrugged and told him, “Why not?”

At seventeen, you went to prom together. Not because you liked each other, no. Because it was convenient, it made sense. How could you go with someone else? You wore a beautiful red gown, Jongho matching you with a patterned red tie. You had a great time, went home together, and nearly kissed at your doorstep—you didn't think too much of it. You blamed it on the atmosphere. So did he.

You sat at your desk in your cramped dorm room, your bed pushed up on the left side of the room and a mess of pillows and blankets covering it. 

Suddenly, as you were finally getting to the good part in your book, Jongho barged into your room, dropping his basketball bag onto the floor with a groan. He tossed his slides off, not even meeting your gaze before walking like a zombie towards your messy bed, throwing himself on top.

“Well hello to you too,” you blinked, losing your page in your book. “Get out of my damn bed, you're sweaty as fuck.”

He huffed, crossing his muscular arms across his chest, staring up at the glow stars you put on the ceiling. “Leave me be. My roommate is fucking some chick right now. I just need to lay down.”

“San seems like he gets around a lot,” you scoffed, picking up your book again. You were currently reading a very, very smutty book—although you were supposed to be studying your literature anthology text for the exam you had in the morning. You flipped a page. 

“Oh, he does,” Jongho sniffed. You looked over at him, his cut-off t-shirt revealing a good bit of skin on his side, his sweat gleaming on his body. “I mean, practice just ended. He had to have the damn girl in there even before he got back. It’s ridiculous.”

He sat up now, putting his back against his headboard. He winced a bit as he moved, his hand going to the brace around his knee.

You paused, completely forgetting the smut you were reading. “What is it? Is it hurting again?”

“Just a little, it’s no biggie.” Jongho offered you a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. “Don't give me that look, y/n. I hurt it a while ago. It's normal for it to ache occasionally.”

Back in your senior year, he tore his ACL before the season, causing him to never have his final year of basketball. He was a mess, but at least he had you. He got surgery, had physical therapy, but yet, he still has pain to this day.

You met his eyes for a moment, sighing when that gorgeous smile of his poked through his lips. “Fine, fine. Just get outa here when you can. I got some…important things to do alone tonight.”

He furrowed his brows, confused. “What could you possibly…..oh,” he shut his eyes painfully. “Please, I don't want to imagine it.” He scooted back down on the bed and tossed your blanket on top of him. “My eyes, my eyes.”

“Oh, shut up, you pussy.” You set your book down, crossing your legs. “A girl gotta live out her fantasies somehow, alright?”

“La la la,” he repeated, trying his best to ignore the conversation. “I don't wanna hear it.”

You let out a chuckle, stood up from your seat, and tossed yourself onto the bed with him, tackling him as he thrashed from your grip.

“Stop it, stop it,” he groaned, wriggling away from your hands as you tickled him. He giggled, childlike. You giggled right along with him, not even caring about the damn sweat that coated his skin, his clothes. You tangled together under the blanket, and after a good couple minutes of a tickle fight, you grabbed your laptop to watch your favorite TV show.

Jongho stayed under the blankets with you, his leg strewn on top of your body, his head in the crook of your neck as you watched the show together. He let out a few snide comments—earning a slap from you, but he just chuckled and nuzzled closer into you.

And after a few episodes, he fell asleep on you, legs tangled in yours, your arm wrapped around him.

—

“Dude, you wouldn't answer your phone last night,” Wooyoung mumbled as he stuffed a couple of chips into his mouth. “Do you literally have a new bitch every night?”

You and your friends were sitting at a table in the dining hall, munching on some lunch before you had class. Wooyoung, San, and Mingi sat across from you and Jongho, all of them in workout gear—they were going to the gym after lunch.

“Listen, last night wasn't even that good,” San hummed dully, taking a sip of his protein shake. “She was too damn loud—”

“I thought you liked them whiny,” Mingi deadpanned.

San’s eyes narrowed on the giant. “Your point? She was loud, not whiny—there’s a difference.” San looked to Jongho now, a slight smirk on his pretty little lips. “Where’d you go? You could've joined us.”

Jongho waved his hands sporadically. “No, no, I’d rather not, thank you.”

San huffed playfully, eyes dancing to you. They glimmered knowingly. “Ah, you’d rather be in her bed, right?” he nodded his head towards you, earning a harsh glare from Jongho.

“So what if I'm in her bed, it’s not like we do anything.” Jongho’s eyes went frantic, and his fists balled. “We’ve always slept with each other—wait, that came out wrong—”

“What he’s trying to say is that we’ve slept in the same bed since we were little, that nothing is ever gonna happen,” you interjected, crossing your arms across your chest.

San laughed at that. “Ah yeah, that nothing’s gonna happen, gotcha,” he said, taking the last sip of his protein shake. I’m going to the gym if you guys are ready. Jongho, y/n, you coming?”

You shook your head, but stood up with everyone else, anyway. “I have class, but you guys have fun. I’ll walk out with you.”

As you and your friends left the dining hall, the cool, winter air breezed through you, sending chills down your spine. Your winter coat wasn't enough. You shoved your hands into your pockets, walking stiffly next to jongho, who simply—possibly even without thinking, tossed his arm around your shoulder, warming you up instantly. Your friends continued to talk and carry on, and you snuggled up into Jongho’s warm side.

—

Class was a bore. As per usual. The spring semester had just started, and the new classes you had were far from entertaining. Anything to get through school, though.

As you packed up your things, a phone fell from the seat in front of you, landing right by your feet. You picked it up, but when the person was no longer sitting there, you quickly tossed your bag over your shoulder to follow him.

“Hey, excuse me!” you huffed, chasing after the guy—damn, his legs were long. He moved way too fast for you. “Your phone….dude!” you finally reached him, tapping him on the shoulder, only for the most gorgeous man to grace the earth to turn around.

You forced yourself to keep your jaw from falling to the floor as you met his dark eyes. His hair was even darker, his lips a soft pink, curling up slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, holding up the phone. “But you dropped this.”

The pretty guy blinked, smirking. The classroom emptied as you stood staring at each other, oblivious to the professor giving you a side-eye as he left.

“I don't think that’s mine,” he said blandly, but his eyes glimmered mischievously. He looked a bit older—definitely older than you, at least.

You furrowed your brows, looking at the phone in your hands. “I could've sworn you were the one sitting in front of me,” you wondered, confused. You pushed it forward into his chest. “Just take it I don't have time to find the owner if it's not yours.”

He smiled down at you, his thick eyebrows raising. “I won't take it.”

“Why the hell not?” your patience was running thin—you had to get the cheer practice. This stupidly pretty guy was not allowed to make you late. You were not running laps. Not today. 

You were about to just shove it into his pockets until his mouth opened. “Not without your number.”

You frowned. “Is that….is that supposed to be a pickup line?”

He shrugged. “If you want it to be, then yes.”

God, the smile this damn boy had. You were gonna crumble under his gaze like some schoolgirl, but you kept your cool.

His eyes were so bright, so clear. He was tall, much taller than you, much older. You watched as he looked around, away from you. “If not, then I’ll just take the phone back—”

“No, no,” you laughed awkwardly, looking at the phone in your hands. “You just…you’ll just need to unlock it.”

He smiled gorgeously. “I can do that.”

He took the phone, typed in a few numbers, and gave it right back to you. “What’s your name?” 

“y/n,” you hummed, forcing your blush away. This was the first time you had been asked for your number, the first time a guy other than Jongho or your friends had looked at you. “You?”

“Seonghwa,” the pretty boy smiled, a name now to the face. You couldn't help but grin at his expression—and the utter insanity that just happened. It was totally random; a pretty guy asking for your number? That’s never happened in all your years. Never. 

“If I ask to buy you a coffee,” he started as you fumbled on your phone number. “Would you say yes?”

“Depends,” you shrugged, unable to look up at him. “If you get me food, too.”

“Deal.” Goddamn, that smile, those teeth. “Tomorrow, after class? Before class?”

You bit your lip, handing the phone back to him. “Before, I have practice after class.” actually, you had practice like, right now. You probably looked crazy, eyes wide as you realized where you needed to be. “I gotta go—speaking of which—”

Before you could leave, he called for you. “Hey, where should we meet?”

“Outside the library?” you tossed out, hoping he answered hastily. 

He nodded, giving you that smile once again. 

“Perfect.”

—

You were in bed after practice, and Jongho was sitting quietly on your desk chair, slowly taking off his knee brace and hissing. 

“God, this thing sucks,” he groaned, the velcro tearing as he peeled it off. The brace was like a metal cage, going from his thigh to his lower calf, looking like a deathtrap.

“And it stinks,” you mumbled dramatically, staring up at your ceiling, hands folded on your stomach as your mind wandered. You sat up quickly, startling your best friend. 

“What? What is it?” he spat out, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “You just sat up like a goddamn zombie.”

“If, let’s just say, hypothetically,” you wondered, looking out into space. “That I got asked out on a date to a coffee shop, how would I dress?”

Jongho’s eyes widened. “You got asked out? You?” he asked incredulously.

You scoffed, looking over at him with a playful sneer. “Is that so hard to believe?”

He laughed, finally taking off his brace and setting it on the side of your desk. “Oh yeah—y/n, you’ve never once gone on a date in all of our years of friendship. It's shocking.”

You blinked at him, gripping a pillow from behind you and tossing it at him. Of course, he caught it. 

“I’m just saying—”

“Okay, but for real,” you groaned, shifting to get comfy again. “You’ve been on some dates, how did the girls usually dress for them? Did you ever go on a coffee date—”

“Who’s the guy?” he huffed out, completely ignoring your worries.

You flattened your lips. “Does that matter?”

“Uh, yeah. What if the guy is a scumbag?” Jongho leaned back in the chair, stretching out his arms. 

“He’s definitely not a scumbag,” you sighed, thinking of how dreamy he looked, missing Jongho’s worried expression. “Anyway, you didn't answer my question.”

You couldn't figure out the look on your best friend’s face. He knitted his brows, his eyes raising to yours. “Just dress normally,” he spoke softly. “When’s your date?”

“Tomorrow.” You hopped off your bed and walked towards your closet across from Jongho. He followed you as you moved and hesitated to look as you tore off your top, leaving you standing in your sports bra.

Jongho gulped but rolled his eyes playfully. “Why do you always undress in front of me?” His eyes naturally dropped to your hips as you slid off your sweatpants. “I am a man, too, you know.”

“Pfft, man, my ass,” you turned your back to him as he tried his best not to look. You grabbed a t-shirt—his t-shirt that you kept from a while ago—and tossed it on. You didn't even bother with pants.

Jongho gave you a look as you turned to face him. “My shirt? Really?” He groaned, mouth parted as he looked at you. “Where the hell are your pants?”

“I don't like pants.”

“Then put shorts on—”

“Is it a crime to sleep in my underwear? God, at least I have something on, dammit.” you walked past him and hopped back onto your bed. “I could be completely naked—this is my room, remember?”

Jongho didn't change his expression—he blinked at you while you sat on the bed, bare-legged, the skin up to the top of your thigh visible. He took in a gulp. “I, uh, I got an assignment due at midnight. I’m gonna head back to my room.”

You shrugged and shuffled into bed to get comfy. “Have fun with that, babycakes,” you said, giving him a wink, but he ignored it and left your room without another look.

—

Maybe it was a bad idea to wear jeans on a day like today.

A day when you woke up painfully bloated, bleeding, and aching from your period. Out of all the days, you had to get it today. 

You stood outside the library, your back against the red brick building. You wore a cute pink top with the flared jeans you were struggling with, and you added a cute little bow to hold your hair back.

You saw Seonghwa walk up to you. His lower half was also dawned in wonderfully-fitting jeans. They hugged his thighs, loosening a bit at his knees, and fell over a pair of sparkling clean white sneakers that looked like they were worth more than your car. 

The white shirt was also slim against his lean frame. You held back any reaction you had like a damn cat in heat. “Hey,” he started as he neared. “Ready to go? We can go to the coffee shop on campus since we have class coming up.”

You nodded, hoping to god the smile on your face was not grimace-like. 

“Yep, let’s go.”

You sat with your hands in your lap, fiddling with your fingers anxiously as Seonghwa waited for your drinks. You looked over at him, watching his figure lean against the closest wall, how his long, long legs looked in those damn pants, how his fingers tapped against his arm as he waited. You barely knew him, nothing much other than knowing his name and now his coffee order, and you wondered what it would be like to get to know him. 

When he sat down in front of you, he handed you your coffee, a bright, blinding smile on his face. “I pegged you as the type to like ridiculously flavored seasonal drinks….” he paused, smirking, as you froze mid-sip on your….seasonal drink. Highly, highly sugary seasonal drink. “Guess I’m a good judge of character.”

You swallowed the party of sugar and cinnamon before giving him a shy smile. “I’m a sucker for them, to be honest.”

You sat quietly for a good while, sipping on your drink, him sipping on his. The feeling was…nice. However, you were a bit anxious as he looked at you, at your lips, as you drank from the straw. 

“You’re a cheerleader for the basketball team, right?” He tilted his head slightly, looking at you. “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere—besides class, I mean.”

You nodded. “Yep, I cheer for the basketball team,” you took another sip of your drink. “Do you play? I think I would've seen you before, though.”

“Actually,” he started, offering you a kind smile. “I just transferred in from another university. I start official practice today, but I’ve been to many games already.”

Oh, so he’d seen you and known that you were on the cheer squad even before he approached you?

Cute. 

“Oh, wow,” you smiled, leaning closer without realizing it. “So, will you be playing in the next game, then?”

“Yes,” he looked ecstatic, like he can't wait. “We’ll see how much playing time I actually get, though. Those guys are very good—”

“Oh, I know!” you didn't mean to interrupt him, but you would take any chance to brag about your Jongho. “My best friend is the point guard.”

“You know Jongho?” Seonghwa smiled, but it looked a bit weary. “He’s a great guy.”

“He really is.” you took a large sip of your coffee, meeting Seonghwa’s gaze as you did it. His gaze fluttered to your lips once more, and he licked his own. 

He tapped against the wooden table. “Would you….want to do this again?”

You raised your brows. “This? You mean, getting coffee?”

“Not exactly,” he blinked, letting out a little chuckle. “Anything, just…we can hang out more, if you're down with that.”

Your heart fluttered a bit. “Ah, yeah, I would like that.”

He smiled. “Good,” he looked at the clock on the wall near your seat. “We gotta get to class.”

“Class, yeah, that’s right,” you were lost in his gaze, not even realizing how captivating his entire being was. You followed him out of the coffee shop, walking next to each other, until you got to the classroom.

He took the seat next to you this time, and you were beginning to suffocate from the feeling of his body being so close.

—

“I think I’m doomed.”

Jongho, like always, is in your room when you come back from practice. He sat up from his lazy position on your bed, eyebrows raised.

“Why’s that?”

You huffed, tossing your cheer bag onto the floor next to your desk. “What if he kisses me? I’ve never kissed anyone, fuck, I bet I’ll look like a fish trying to gulp fucking water—”

“God, you’ve been here for not even a minute, and you're blabbing on like a maniac already.” He blinked, his face deadpanned as he looked at you. “Why are you so concerned? Did the date go well?”

You groaned dramatically, tossing off your sneakers, and balancing yourself on the back of your desk chair. “He asked me for another date, but I know damn well what that means, and I can't let him find out that I am a twenty-something-year-old virgin that’s only ever kissed books and my mother.”

Jongho looked like he was about to burst out laughing at your desperate words, biting the inside of his cheek. He managed to squeak out, “Oh, I think you’re a lost cause,” he giggled. Giggled.

“This is not funny. You're no help,” you groaned, tossing your head back as you walked to your closet—when a perfect idea came to you. 

“Wait a damn minute–”

“What is it now?” Jongho sat up on your bed, legs dangling off the side.

You turned around sharply, facing him, eyes wide with mischief. His eyes widened at your expression.

“Lend me your lips,” you said, walking up to him, but he leaned back in confusion, his arms holding himself behind him.

“What?” He scoffed, unable to meet your gaze. “The hell do you mean?”

You leaned over him on the bed, him unable to lean any further back without falling. You held yourself up on both sides of him. “Oh, come on. Just once. You can help me learn how to kiss. Who else could?”

He furrowed his brows. “You’re crazy.”

“I know,” you shrugged. “But I’d rather die than embarrass myself.”

“You do know,” He started, letting out a sigh. “That friends don't kiss each other? Or did you miss that memo?”

“I swear it won't mean anything,” you pleaded, knowing you were acting crazy, immature, whatever. 

Jongho huffed, leaning forward, but grabbing your shoulders to move you away. “Listen,” he sighed, meeting your eyes. “Why don't you go ask San or Mingi?”

“Because San scares me,” you shrugged. “He’d probably eat me. And Mingi is….Mingi….”

“What does that even mean—”

“For fuck’s sake, Jongie,” you grabbed his shoulders. “Is this asking too much? We’ve been best friends for so long. How would something so trivial as a kiss mess with it?”

Jongho looked like he had something to say—a lot to say, actually. But he stayed quiet, sighing, as he looked up at you from his seated position on the bed.  

“Okay, but if I have to kiss someone as filthy as you,” he huffed, crossing his arms. “What do I get out of it?”

You hummed. “Hmm. well, what do you want?”

He smiled mischievously. “Do my paper for me. For my lit class.”

“Easy, done,” you leaned forward. “Now gimme your lips—”

“Ah ah ah, slow down,” he scoffed. “You can't just toss yourself into the kiss. You have to lead into it.”

“Got it,” you blinked, looking into his golden brown eyes, noticing how…nice they were. “How do I do that?”

“Well, I bet he’ll try to kiss you first,” Jongho ran a hand through his fluffy brown hair, matching his eyes. You took note of it, too. He stood up, causing you to subconsciously step away from him. You both now stood in the middle of your dorm room, the room dimly lit by your desk lamp, the warm hue coloring the tanned skin of his face.

“Okay,” you nodded, almost freaking yourself out for noticing his details, the slight curve of his lips, the way his hair fell across his forehead. 

Jongho’s calloused hand slowly, hesitantly, moved towards your face. You watched his eyes as his fingertips brushed your skin, watching them scrunch, watching them focus on his movements. “Maybe he’d hold you like this,” he spoke softly, eyes jumping to yours, his hand twitching slightly.

“But what do I do?” you weakly jutted out, biting the corner of your bottom lip. “Do I…touch you—touch him, too?”

He shrugged, swallowing hard. “I mean, you do what comes naturally.”

He was so close. So close. It's not like you’ve never been closer to him, because you have, but something was suffocating. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Maybe this is just how it’s supposed to feel.

You stared into his eyes, those brown eyes, those….sparkling, pretty eyes. You swallowed as his hand slid down to your chin, tilting it up softly.

There was an unknown emotion dancing in his gaze. You were extremely aware of the spark that was setting off from his touch. 

He leaned in closer, and as he got closer and closer, you felt your heartbeat flutter in your chest. You heard it in your ears, felt your stomach tighten. 

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said hushedly. You noticed that the tips of his ears were flushed red, and a dusting of the color was across his cheeks. When he pressed his lips to yours, you widened your eyes from the feeling, then shut them to savor it.

His mouth moved across yours, you felt the warmth of his lips, the softness of them. His other hand—the one that wasn't holding onto your chin, rested around your hip, his grip tightening. 

You froze under his lips, unsure of how to do this. You moved your mouth against his, then, trying to move with his movements. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck, unsure of what to do with them if you didn't do that. You felt a small smile in his kiss.

You pressed your body into him as his lips parted against yours. You felt the soft tickle of his shaky breaths against your skin—you could only imagine what you felt like to him.

He parted from you, only slightly, and took a sharp inhale. You still had your eyes shut tight, lips parted, as you got lost in the feeling. 

You opened them, meeting his gaze, meeting that heart-shattering look he had. His lips were red like his ears, like his cheeks. His eyes were hazy, his hands still on you. You felt your heart crumbling inside you. 

Without another word, you leaned back up to him, awkwardly wrapping your hand around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair. He shut his eyes, and let out a pleasured sound, stirring something, awakening something inside.

You kissed him this time, even knowing that you had no idea what you were doing. You just trusted these instincts you were feeling, the emotions that were overtaking your mind. Your body told you to part your lips against his sweet lips, to savor the slightly salty taste against them. To lean into his body. You couldn't help but allow yourself to touch his waist, gliding your hand down his abs, his stomach, feeling his muscles tighten under your touch. 

He sighed into your mouth, his hands gripping your waist, his fingertips brushing the bare skin under your blouse. His lips felt so good, so soft, so electrifying. This feeling was unlike any other, you were beginning to lose your breath, your senses, your mind.

And when you let out a little moan—without intending to, you were shocked back to reality. You pulled away from him quickly, moving your hands to your sides, trying to catch your breath. Jongho was also huffing, begging for oxygen, as he stood in front of you. His lips were bright red now; his eyes were wide.

“Ah, um,” you cleared your throat, forcing out a laugh. “So, did I do a good job?”

Jongho blinked, still looking out of it. “Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.” He swallowed, nodded, and crossed his arms across his chest. “Mhm. For your first kiss, you did good.” 

Good? Good? God, that felt euphoric. Like you were drugged, high, out in space. You still couldn't get your heartbeat to slow. “Great.” That was all you managed to squeak out, now that you were suddenly aware of the ability to just kiss him again. You realized that the air was odd now, that something felt different. 

“You tasted like sweat,” you playfully added, letting out an awkward laugh as you gave him a shoulder punch. “Maybe I should've kissed San or Mingi instead.”

“I am a great kisser, I’ll have you know—” Jongho boasted, but you interrupted him. 

“Pfft,” you waved a hand as if you weren't just about to hyperventilate from his kiss, his touch. “You sucked, you’re a horrible teacher—”

“Oh?” he huffed, gripping your arms just below your elbows. “I’ll kiss you again, I’ll prove it, I’ll do you one better—”

“Fine! More practice for me, anyway.”

Jongho let out a grumble of incoherent words before grabbing you by the back of the neck and pressing his mouth to yours once more, his lips gliding against yours. 

You grabbed the fabric of his shirt, tightening your grip as he pushed his tongue through your lips, into your mouth. You let out a sigh as he did it, his fingertips gripping your hair on the back of your head.

After a long few minutes of eating each other, He pulled away this time. He let go of you, his hands falling at his sides. “There,” he breathed. “Now you know how to handle a kiss like that. You know, just in case.”

You licked your bottom lip, sparks still flying around your body. You tasted him still, the saltiness of his sweat. You smelled the woodsy cologne he used, the minty taste of gum. 

“Thanks,” you smiled, trying your best not to let these thoughts of him overtake you. “For helping me with this. You’re such a good best friend.”

“Ah, yeah,” he sniffed, forcing a smile. “I should, uh. I should go, I have something to submit before midnight, so,” He gulped, taking a step away from you. “But happy to help, of course. Now you owe me my paper.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” you scoffed, smiling playfully as he walked to the door to put on his shoes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” he called out as he opened the door, leaving after you offered him a wave goodbye.

And once the door shut, you nearly lost your breath, falling onto your bed.

“Oh god,” you breathed, putting a hand to your mouth. “What was that? I—ugh!” you groaned, thrashing your legs around. “Why the fuck was he so hot? Get a grip, get a grip.” you ran your hands aggressively through your hair and gripping it. “Fuck I think my brain lost too much oxygen.”

You couldn't sleep one bit—not at all. Every time you closed your eyes, all you saw was Jongho, and all you felt was him.

—

A few days pass and you barely see your best friend.

It's not that he’s ignoring you or vice versa; it's that he had an away game a good distance away and was off campus for a good few days. 

While he was gone, you wondered if he was thinking the same way you were, if he felt something, too, or if it was just normal to have feelings during a kiss. 

Irritated by your stupid mind, you were unsure about the feeling in your chest when you saw Jongho in the library; his baseball hat flipped backwards over his soft brown hair.

You would look odd if you ran away, right? Right.

You strutted over to where he was sitting. He always loved the window seats, mainly to people watch. You sat down in the seat across from him.

“When’d you get back?”

He lifted his eyes to yours. “Last night,” he grumbled, flipping a page in the book in front of him.

“What are you reading?” you leaned forward on your elbows.

He reacted much worse than you thought, flying backward into his chair, a terrified look on his face. 

“Yo, I’m not gonna bite you, Jeez,” you raised a brow, moving your gaze to the book. “Oh, ew, anatomy. No thanks.”

He scoffed, picking off an invisible—or maybe an extremely small—piece of lint from his black hoodie. He didn't say anything in response, he just continued what he was doing.

“So,” you tried to continue the conversation with him without it turning to mush. “I’m gonna be going to Seonghwa’s frat tonight. There's a party or something.”

He looked at you with shock. “You’re going to a party?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” you rolled your eyes, leaning back to cross your arms around your chest. Jongho’s vision dipped to the movement.

“Well, given that you hate crowded places,” he trailed off, not really having another excuse. “I just can't see you going to—”

“y/n?” a voice softly murmured from your left, and both you and Jongho turned to see Seonghwa walking up to your table, a bag slung across his broad shoulder. His hair was pulled up in a half up half down do, little black strands framing his unfathomable face.

Jongho, in the corner of your eye, looked away from the tall basketball player, opting for the view outside the library.

“Seonghwa?” you smiled, uncrossing your arms to look less like a grumpy bitch. “What’s up?”

You didn't even look to see the irritation on Jongho’s face.

“I was coming in to study but then I saw you in the corner of my eye,” he smiled, beamed, really, adjusting the bag on his shoulder. He then nodded to Jongho, offering him a smile, too. “Hey, Jongho.”

Your best friend managed to give him a smile back, although you knew his face all too well—that was a damn grimace. “Hey.” 

You looked between the two boys as seonghwa spoke again. “Hey, me and y/n are gonna be at the party tonight. You wanna come? The other guys on the team will be there, too.”

“Well, I can't imagine San missing a function,” Jongho scoffed, cracking his knuckles aggressively. “But I guess I’ll come, too.”

You nearly dropped your jaw onto the floor.

“Really?” you interjected, shocked. “I can't imagine you going to a party—”

“Anyway,” Jongho cleared his throat, ignoring you. “What time?”

Seonghwa furrowed his brows as he tried to recall. “Uh, I think ten? It goes till two, no later,” He looked to you then. “Do you wanna go for some lunch?”

You blushed. Jongho huffed. “Oh, yes. That would be nice,” you smiled, to which Jongho rolled his eyes in response. You stood up from your seat and offered your best friend a playful wink. “See you tonight, jongie.”

When you walked away, seonghwa slugged an arm around your shoulder on the way out. Jongho, still in his seat, tightened his grip on the textbook as he watched you leave.

And then he couldn't even enjoy people-watching when he saw you walk down the sidewalk with that string bean.

—

You didn't hear from jongho the rest of the day, and even when ten o’clock came, he was M.I.A. You shrugged it off, trying too hard to ignore the tug in your chest, the desire to go to his room and kiss him again. 

You made it to the frat house that sat on the end of the Greek life strip in town. It was a tall, skinny building that looked way too nice to be lived in by a bunch of boys. You made sure to wear your filthy Converse, knowing damn well whether booze, puke, or a plethora of other fluids would end up all over them. Despite not going to many parties in your lifetime, you still had common sense. 

You walked into the house, getting bombarded with tons of odd smells, some good and some bad. The interior was dark, lit with random colored lights that danced all over the walls, the people. 

Loud, ungodly music blared through oddly positioned speakers in the wall, and there was a sea of people talking and carrying on. You weren't sure how the fuck they could hear each other over the awful music.

You walked further into the house, making a B-line to where you assumed the alcohol was. There was a bunch of beer cans, and you grabbed one with ease, cracking it open and chugging it like a champ. However, the beer sucked ass, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. You must've made a face.

“Icky?” Seonghwa’s smooth voice envelopes you with comfort. 

You turn to him, offering him a sincere smile. He looked great, as always, with his hair growing even longer. “Very, but if it gets me drunk, I’ll handle it.”

“So brave,” he chuckled, standing closer to you by the second. Your mind wanders to the thought of him touching you. Would it feel as good as it did with Jongho? Would his hands be gentle? Would his lips taste as sweet? 

His hand on the small of your back interrupted your thoughts.

You needed to be drunk. Quick, so you can handle these stupid ideas.

“It’s good to see you here,” he starts, but you can't help but look at his lips. You weren't thinking about them—no, rather, you were thinking of Jongho’s. Would Seonghwa feel the same?

You took another sip of your drink to get the last drop before grabbing another. “Do they have something else? This shit sucks.”

Seonghwa looked at you for a long moment before nodding in a direction. “There’s vodka in the cabinet if you want it?”

You let out a sigh of relief, but still, you kept drinking the shitty beer. “Yes, god, yes.”

After you got ahold of the vodka, you regretted your choice against the beer.

You must've blacked out for a bit—you don't remember how you got in the living room, how you got onto Seonghwa’s lap, how his lips were on your neck. You delightfully craned your neck to feel it better, to feel his hot breaths, his hands on your waist. However, when you opened your eyes, you realized that you were imagining someone else under you.

You pulled away from him, but you didn't get off him. You looked into his eyes, seeing the desire drip from them. You were too messed up—blame that on your shitty tolerance, to care what you were doing right now. “Can I try something?” you fluttered your eyelashes, not meaning it in a sultry way, but it came out that way.

“Of course,” Seonghwa mused, a little smile prickling at his lips.

Lips that you wanted to kiss—not because you needed to, but because you needed to see something, feel something—have something to compare to that ethereal experience you had with your best friend.

And at his approval, you leaned forward, doing everything that you were taught, and pressed your lips to Seonghwa’s. He responded well, gripping the back of your head as he kissed you back, and you slid your tongue in his mouth, half expecting to feel something, anything.

But there you were, imagining Jongho, his smell, his taste, the way he cautiously touched you and held you. Nothing can compare, not even this.

You pulled away from him, eyebrows raised, mouth agape. He looked confused at your reaction but put on a sloppy smile. “Everything okay?”

You were going to say no. you were going to cry out and say that you were going to die because you kept thinking about Jongho. You couldn't even kiss a hot guy, a guy you wanted to date, without thinking how much better it felt with Jongho. Everything felt better with him. It was comfortable, unnerving, exciting, all at the same time.

You smiled, but with how drunk you were, you could assume that it looked like a grimace. “I uh, yeah, I just gotta….go do something—-bye,” you huffed out, offering him a little, awkward wave, before you ran out of the spinning room.

You ended up on the back porch, not sure how you got there, but the world was spinning. Your chest was aching. You needed air, anything, you needed to breathe.

The cool air hit you just right, enveloping your lungs, helping you breathe. Your skin was hot, flaming underneath your clothes, and you were sure your cheeks were bright red. After noticing a couple making out in the corner, you grimaced and ran back into the house.

God, what a shitshow.

You avoided seonghwa narrowly, making your way up the creaky, thin staircase to get your own space. You opened the first door you got to, tossed yourself in, and slammed your back against the door with a sigh of relief.

That relief didn't last long.

“y/n, what the hell?” Jongho nearly screeched, turning his body slightly as he stood over the toilet, zipping up his pants in a frenzy. “The fuck? Don't you know how to knock?”

You didn't say anything. You just took a deep breath, your gaze falling over him.

“y/n?” He repeated, standing a bit awkwardly on the other side of the room, leaning over to flush the toilet. He looked a bit rough around the edges as he washed his hands quickly, looking over at you as he dried them. He walked up to you now, hesitantly, unsure about your expression.

You fiddled with your fingers as the world slowed around you.

“Are you gonna talk?” He scoffed playfully, his eyes raking your body, forcing themselves up to your face. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you swallowed, shaking your head, the door behind you the only thing holding you up.

He gave you a concerned look, running a damp hand through his silky hair, and you couldn't help but think about how wonderful it would be to rake your hands through it, too. “No, that you're not okay, or no, that you’re not gonna talk?

You blinked. “....yes.”

He sighed. His eyes looked hazy, not quite to the extent yours probably looked, but still, he was not in his right mind, either. You took a shaky breath, watching those brown irises fall to your lips, to your chest. 

You clench your fingers together, your body, dying to do something your heart would regret. You swallowed hard, sighing.

“Aren’t you acting like this because you have something to say?” He asked, his words dripping like honey from his lips.

You shook your head. “No.”

He looked like he was fighting a smile. “I think you are.”

“No, I’m not–I’m not acting like this because I have something to say.” Your mind was already screaming at you, begging you not to do anything. Begging you not to say anything. “Because I want to do something.”

The air was stuffy. The bathroom was filthy, the window was cracked open, blowing in a slight breeze, gently running up your arms, sending chills down your spine. 

Jongho tilted his head. “To do what?”

The vodka in your basically vodka-virgin body was bubbling under your skin, infiltrating your mind, your blood. It was taking control over your every move, every idea, everything. So when he asked you that, when he looked like the most beautiful person in the world as he spoke, with his pretty ass hair and his lips and his flushed cheeks, you knew what you wanted to do.

“To kiss you,” you didn't stutter. You stayed put against the door despite your words. “I just wanna do it again. Every time I look at you, I want to do it.”

Jongho’s eyes widened, but he didn't run away like you thought he would. He just stood there, breathlessly, his hands at his sides and his mouth parted. It’s like he wanted to do it too, with the way his fingers twitched as you spoke, with the way his lips almost curled up completely. 

You pushed off the door, taking a step towards him. When he didn't back away, you took another step. You were so close to him that you were able to feel the soft, hot breaths he was letting out against your skin. His breath smelled like that disgusting beer, but it didn't matter at all—actually, you wanted to taste it on his lips, on his tongue.

You reached out a hand, the room spinning around you. Your fingertips met his cheek, his hot skin. You felt a surge of electricity run through your body as you touched him, as you looked into his eyes. His gaze was unlike anything else you have ever seen. His eyes were zeroed in on you, shutting slowly as you rubbed your hand against his skin. He let out a soft breath, a content sigh, and his eyes were on yours again.

He took in a breath, eyes on your lips. You were too drunk to think about how the look on his face made no sense—friends shouldn't look at each other the way he was looking at you.

You leaned forward, and when he didn't flinch away, when he actually leaned forward as well, you smiled to yourself, and pressed your lips to his.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his body to yours. His hips knocked into yours, his mouth parting, swallowing you whole. He shoved you against the sink, the countertop stabbing the small of your back, but you felt absolutely no pain. You arched your body into his, as if it were instinct, and his hands ravaged your bare skin. He was desperate, trying to catch his breath as best he could while he kissed you. 

Your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers tightening in his brown hair. He let out a little moan into your mouth, his hands caging you in against the sink. Accidentally, his forehead bumped yours, causing you to bite his lip. 

You pulled away, but just for a moment, smiling at him, at the redness of his lips from your gloss and your bite. He looked breathtaking in front of you, so human, so perfect. So you leaned in to kiss him again, nose knocking into his, but it didn't matter if you were sloppy. It just mattered that he was the one you were kissing. 

“y/n,” he breathed against your lips, his hands now on your hips, one curving around your ass. “We shouldn't be doing this—”

“Shh,” you hissed, slapping his shoulder, keeping your lips against his. “I don't care right now.”

You deepened the kiss, and as he pressed up against you, you felt something hard press into you; you felt a deep rumble from him into your mouth. The pool between your thighs.

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom opened. Mingi stood there, his jaw down to the floor, as he took in the scene in front of him. Jongho must not have heard the door, as his hands were still clawing at you like a goddamn animal, his lips on your neck now. You quickly gripped Jongho’s shoulders and pushed him away.

“What? You just said—” He took notice of where you were looking, turning his head to see Mingi’s shocked expression. “Oh.”

“Oh, dear god!” Mingi looked like he couldn't hide the smile peeking through his lips. “I knew it!”

Jongho took a whole century taking his hands off you, finally stepping away, leaving you cold, empty. “It’s not what you think—”

Mingi threw his hands up in the air, smirking. “Ay, I didn't see anything. Carry on.”

With one last look, Mingi shut the door, leaving you alone with Jongho. The feeling in the room was completely different from a moment ago.

“I….” he started, then sighed, unable to look at you. “I gotta go.”

“Jongho—” You went to move toward him, but he left the bathroom as quickly as he could, stumbling into the doorframe, and out of sight. You were left to your own devices, standing in the middle of the bathroom, hair a mess, lips bright and painful, and a mark on your neck from your best friend.

If you could call him that…

—

It’s as if he disappeared.

You haven't seen Jongho in days. You were even too nervous to go to his room this time, not knowing how to approach him after kissing him like that. After you felt the hardness of his cock against your stomach. The wetness between your thighs. Something you have never felt before.

After a few, empty, lonely nights in your room, you took the initiative to go find him at the late hour of midnight—To ask if he feels this intense craving for you just like you do for him. But when you arrived at his dorm, San told you he wasn't there.

“He’s been super sick. I thought he was with you,” He shrugged, confused.

“He’s sick?” your eyes widened. 

San nodded, messy hair from sleep. “Sorry, maybe he’s with Mingi?”

After your encounter with San, you made your way to Mingi’s dorm. But, once again, Jongho was nowhere to be found.

So you went to the only place you thought to look.

And there he was, under the bright lights, taking a shot at the three-point line on the courts near the rec center. He missed the shot and stood there a moment before going to grab his rebound.

But the ball rolled to where you were, as if it meant to. Jongho stood still as you grabbed the ball.

He stayed silent. You weren't sure whether to move closer or just pass him the ball back.

“Are you going to give me it?” He spoke blandly, sweat dripping down his forehead despite the cold air surrounding him.

You sighed, putting the ball under your arm. “Jongho, it’s cold out here.”

He sniffed, his nose red. He didn't look at you. “Just give me the ball, dammit.”

You blinked, watching the cold air show as you exhaled. “Why are you ignoring me?”

He rolled his eyes, taking in a breath. “Dammit, y/n—”

“You’re doing it on purpose,” you began to dribble the ball—very sloppily, but it didn't matter. You dribbled past him towards the hoop, tossing the ball up, watching it go through the net. “Ignoring me, I mean.”

“No, I’m not,” he huffed, moving to grab the ball from your shot. He made his way back up to the top of the key, away from you.

“Yes, you are.” you walked up to him, putting your hand out so he couldn't shoot. “Just be honest!”

With a huff of cold air, jongho tossed the ball away, an aggravated look on his face. “For fuck’s sake, y/n, Yes. I’m annoyed.”

You blinked, standing only a few feet away from him. “Why?” you asked, probably stupidly, given the irritated look on his face.

He sighed, tightening his hands into fists. “...Because….because I’m a man, too, you know.” he started, running his hands through his hair aggressively, clenching his jaw. “ You change in front of me, kiss me, do everything that causes my brain to spin. I’m sick of acting like I'm okay with it.”

You stood there, frozen. The air felt even colder as winter wrapped its arms around your bare skin.

“Does that mean you didn't like it?” you wondered out loud, possibly too immature, too inexperienced. You had no idea what you were feeling, why you felt this way. All you knew is that you wanted to spend every moment with him, to kiss him, to lay in bed with him. Things you did normally, but things felt different. 

“Didn't like what?” He asked, his eyes wide.

“The kiss,” you looked into his eyes. “The kisses.”

Jongho stood tensely, unsure of what to do. You watched his eyes flicker up to the sky as little flurries fell, catching themselves in his hair.

“y/n,” he took a sharp breath in. “don't you get it? I can't kiss you. You can't kiss me. You can't….touch me like that, change in front of me, and not expect me to get flustered!” He nearly shouted the last part, and turned to the side away from you, aggravated beyond words.

“I….I’m sorry,” you spoke out, taking a step towards him. “I’m sorry that I feel this way—”

“Feel what?” he scoffed, turning back to you, a pained smirk on his lips. “You should be sorry for making me feel this….for causing me so many headaches, for god sake why the fuck am I out here when it’s fucking snowing, jesus christ you piss me off—”

“Jongho,” you interrupted his freakout, his word vomit. He stared at you with those beautiful eyes of his. “What are you trying to say?” you spoke in a small voice.

His eyes were frantic, going back and forth from eye to eye. “I…. can't do this.”

“Do what?” you felt the flurries dance against your skin, dance as they fell around you.

“I can't act like your friend anymore.” He bit his lip. “You have no idea what you do to me. What you’ve been doing to me.”

You took a step closer, but he backed away.

“I don't understand—”

“Just go,” He pleaded. 

“You do things to me too!” you groaned, finally done with his attitude. “Will you knock it off? You’re not the only one confused here—”

“Oh, I confuse you?” He looked at you like you had two heads. “I’m sorry, I only kissed you because you were trying to get another guy. I kissed you so you could know how to do it, but you want to know something?” He paused, suddenly right up on you, the space gone between you. “I haven't kissed anyone either. I just…you. It’s just been you! I didn't know what I was doing, either!”

“Is that so bad?” you pleaded, your eyes bleeding into his. “Is it so bad that you had to kiss me? Should I apologize for wanting to do it again? That I haven't stopped thinking about you since?” you frantically looked into his eyes. 

“Just…” Jongho sighed, his eyes a bit watery. “Lleave me be.” 

The look on his face was enough. You took a step back, and then another. 

“I won't apologize for my feelings, for whatever this feeling is,” you admitted. “But I am sorry I caused you trouble.” before you left him there, you looked up to him once more, snow falling around you. “Good luck at your game, tomorrow.”

You turned on your heel, not understanding a single thing that just unfolded, that was just said. He made no sense; you made none, either. It was just a bunch of words, unnecessary words, rifting your friendship. But one thing was for certain—you couldn't repair this without a few missing pieces. 

Jongho stood as still as a statue as he watched you walk away.

—

You sat on the bench in your cheerleading uniform, your heart beating a mile a minute as you watched the game unfold in front of you. 

It was approaching halftime. Jongho was sprinting down the sideline, limping slightly as he moved. He passed the ball beautifully to San, who was wide open for the layup. 

You couldn't focus on anything—didn't even cheer when San made the shot. You just sat and stared into space, your eyes following jongho, watching his wince as he backed up down the court. 

“He’s hurt,” you muttered under your breath, stomach tightening. 

Jongho continued playing his heart out, but you knew something was wrong. However, as halftime came, he walked away from the court just fine and into the locker room, not giving you a single passing glance as he walked past you. Seonghwa did, however, but you weren't even paying attention to that.

After a few long moments, the team came back out. You had to cheer, but your heart wasn't in it. Jongho, once again, walked right by you, and when you were about to jump up and ignore everything that was said yesterday to make sure you were okay, the buzzer rang. 

The game went on, the score going back and forth until the last quarter. Jongho stood at mid-court, calling a play, but the guy guarding him was aggressive. He tried to make a move around him, squeaking his sneakers against the hardwood, but it was no use. The defender followed him with ease, sliding his feet in perfect position.

The gym was in hysterics as Jongho pushed for the bucket, taking a side step into a euro step, but suddenly, oh so suddenly, Jongho crashed to the ground in a thud before getting the shot off.

The gym went silent. Jongho hissed in pain, his eyebrows knit tight. The athletic trainer ran out to see him as the game was put on hold with less than a minute to go. You stood up, not even realizing what you were doing. All you could feel was a pain in your chest as you saw him hurt, the intense feeling to take his pain away. You watched in despair as he was lifted off the floor, as he was carried out of the gym.

You swallowed hard, your ears ringing. Your teammates tried to get you focused, as the game was going to continue, but you jumped up and pushed through, making your way to the locker room desperately. 

“Jongho?” you panted, turning the corner to enter the boy's locker room. You sucked in a breath as you see him in pain, lying down on the bench, a few others around him as he nearly cried in pain. 

“Jongho!” you cried out, rushing to his side. His eyes were frantic, wide, a mess. The trainer took off his knee brace slowly as you approached. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

Jongho met your gaze through his watery eyes, every other emotion gone other than…whatever this was. He almost let out a sigh of relief as he saw you. You knelt down next to him, gripping his hand, and he held yours tighter. 

“y/n,” he murmured, sucking in a sharp breath as the trainer surveyed his leg. “Did I…did I do it again? Please tell me I didn't—”

You looked at the man who was assessing his injury. “Did he tear it again?” you panicked, remembering how awful this was for him back then. How traumatizing it was, how horrible it was for him to gain his strength again. You couldn't stand to see him in pain.

“I…I don't know,” the man admitted. “It’s too swollen to tell. You’ll need to get this checked out—”

“Goddammit,” Jongho hissed, shutting his eyes tightly, and swallowing hard. That was when you realized that it might not even be the pain from the injury—no, it was his trauma. The memory of his hard work all down the drain. 

“I’m here,” you breathed, tucking his hair behind his ear and away from his face. “It’ll be okay.”

The buzzer rang, and screams followed. Jongho looked at you, not a care in the world other than that you were there with him, just like before.

“You’ll be alright,” you repeated softly, your heart aching at his pain. “This will be okay.”

—

“From the MRI, it looks like everything is still intact,” the doctor spoke with a tone of arrogance. “You did weaken your surgical graft, however. You’ll need some PT and rest.”

Jongho stared down at his leg, his hand still gripping yours. He breathed a sigh of relief but didn't say anything else. 

“I’ll write up a referral for that, so just hold on a moment.”

You were left in silence in the middle of the emergency room, Jongho sitting up straight on the bed with a big icepack on top of his knee. He was starting right at it, his lips downturned.

You wanted to ease his troubles. To make him feel better. Nothing felt worse than seeing him like this.

You didn't know what to say. You really couldn't say anything. You were so overwhelmed with the pain you felt as you looked at him as if it were your own. You hated his tears that begged to fall and never did.

“Hey,” you mumbled softly, squeezing his hand. It took him a minute to move his gaze to you, and when he did, his eyes spoke a thousand words. “See? It will be okay.”

He sighed, his face contorting as he fought his tears. “I…I’m sorry.”

“For what?” you weren't thinking of anything else other than what was in front of you. You rubbed your thumb against his knuckles, trying to soothe him.

“For how I acted.” He looked down at your hands, how yours was touching his, how his fingers were tight around yours. He didn't want to let go—neither did you. “I was just upset.”

“I know,” you nodded, swallowing. “I was, too.”

He looked into your eyes. “y/n, I…” he paused, the beeping of his heart rate speeding up in the background. “I just don't know why I acted like that I…I guess I got caught up in how I feel about you, and it confused me.”

You blinked. “How do you feel about me?”

He let out an uneasy laugh. “Isn't it obvious?”

You shook your head. “I… don't really know much of anything. Much of these feelings,” you acknowledged, biting your bottom lip anxiously. 

He let out a genuine laugh. “Me too.”

“So, how do you feel?” You tucked a piece of your hair that fell loose from your bow, suddenly aware of how much of a wreck you probably looked like. You were still in your cheer uniform, Jongho in his basketball one, and you were sure you had smeared mascara everywhere. “About me, I mean.”

He took in a sharp breath. “This isn't fair, I’m like, high from pain meds. I don't know what i’m saying.”

You smiled widely, feeling such immense love for the man in front of you.

Oh shit.

Are you….in love?

“All I know is that I haven't stopped thinking about you since I met you,” He chuckled anxiously. “I don't understand why, and it's just increasingly worse after you keep kissing me, it's making my head spin.”

Jongho yawned slightly after his somewhat confession, his eyes fluttering. 

He was so pretty. So, so pretty. You wanted to sleep with him. Next to him, cuddle with him, kiss his face, his eyelids, his cheeks, his everything. You wanted him to do everything to you that you dreamed of.

Oh fuck, you definitely are in love with him.

“Holy fuck—” you paused, staring at him, wide eyed at your realization.

“What?” He furrowed his brows.

You tried to control your overwhelming thoughts. “I just realized something…” you met his gaze, holding onto it tightly. “Are we…are we in love? I mean, I think at least I might be—”

“Holy shit, we might be,” Jongho gulped, a knowing smile curling at his lips. As if he knew this, at least on his end, for much longer than you have. He looked at you, then at his leg, and back at you. “Are you in love with me?”

“I think so?” you questioned, your chest aching. Jongho’s heart began to beat faster and faster, as seen on the monitor next to him. You leaned towards him, blushing as his heart rate jumped over one hundred. 

Jongho let out an anxious laugh. “You sound super confident.”

You would've kissed him right then and there, prove to him that you loved him, if it wasn't for that awful doctor. 

You helped jongho hobble out of the hospital, his leg wrapped in ice and his arms wrapped around you. You were hyper aware of the smell of sweat, the light remnant of his woodsy cologne. You heard his breath hitch as your fingertips curled around his arm as you walked toward the street for a cab.

“God, standing up really messed me up.” he wobbled a bit. “I don't know what they gave me, but fuck, I feel wonderful,” he giggled, nudging his head into the crook of your neck.

There was a mix of comfort and chaos as you got in the cab, his head on your shoulder, his hair a mess. His arm was slung over you, his eyes closed, his lips parted against your collarbone. He felt comforting, yes, but also his damn lips started to move against your skin.

“Jongho,” you breathed, trying to keep quiet as the cab driver carried on. “Stop it—”

“Mmmh,” he groaned into your neck, kissing it again, trailing up towards your jawline. 

“The fuck, did they give you viagra?” you nearly choked as his hand that was around your shoulder fell to your waist, tightening on the curve above your hip. His hand moved lower, past your hip, meeting the curve right before he could reach your—

“Hey,” you whisper yelled, smacking his cheek lightly. 

He opened his eyes, those brown irises sparkling despite the dark car. “Oh, its y/n,” he smiled, meeting your gaze, but you watched it fall to your lips. “You look pretty.”

You scoffed. “You don't know what you're talking about right now—”

“Oh, I do,” he smiled lopsidedly, his hand now coming up to cradle your cheek. “I know what i’m doing.”

You smirked. “I think you’re loopy.”

“Maybe a little,” he shrugged, smiling, his eyes curving into smiles too. “But I know what I want to do.”

You tilted your head, raising your brows. “And what’s that?”

He smiled villianously, teeth barred. “Do you really want to know?”

You held in your laugh, but managed to nod.

He took in a breath, letting it out in an exaggerated sigh. “I want to fuck you so bad,” he huffed, his head falling right back onto your shoulder. “So, so bad. I’ve always wanted to—”

“Jongho,” you blinked. “You’re high from pain meds, you don't know what you're—”

“Oh, but I do know,” he sat up quickly, eyes dazed, hair a mess on top of his head. He reached out a hand, tucking your hair behind your ears with a boyish smile. He focused on your face, on your eyes, your lips. His expression changed, his smile falling. “I wanted to tell you about how I feel about you.”

You bit your lip. “You did.” 

He waved a hand, flopping it around. “Nah, I didn't.”

“Yes, don't you remember?” you scoffed playfully. “We just had this whole talk like twenty minutes ago—”

“Aye, stop it, I had something to say but now I forgot!” he groaned, tossing his head back against the headrest. He then turned his head to your direction. “Did I ever tell you how pretty you are?”

“You just did,” you smiled.

“Oh, that’s right.” he swallowed, looking at your lips. “Did I ever tell you that I want to kiss you? Like, all the time?”

You shook your head, giving up on the fight against his high ass. 

“Well, I just want to kiss you, over and over again, and then when you started kissing me, I think I went crazy,” he blinked slowly, eyes covering every inch of your face. He leaned forward. “You really fucked me up, you know?”

You frowned. “Did I?”

“Pfft,” he huffed. “Are you kidding? You would change in front of me, lay in bed with me, touch me, everything I….” he swallowed hard. “How was I supposed to react to your tits? Your ass? You think i’ve never gotten hard from it?” you wanted to shut his nonsense up, but he kept going on. “I’ve had to literally leave just to jack off so you didn't find out—”

“Woah, woah,” you rose your eyebvrows. “You’re a mess right now, youll regret what you’re saying tomorrow—”

“I wont,” he sniffed, eyes meeting yours. “I’m done with acting like I don't think about you naked—”

“Jongho, shut it, we’re not alone—”

“We should be alone so I can do everything I want to you,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your temple. “God, I want to do everything to you.”

You wanted to push him away. You wanted to tell him no—but…his lips, his words, his breath felt so good, so intoxicating. He pressed a kiss to your jaw, to the corner of your lips. “Can we fuck now?”

You closed your eyes, taking in a breath. “The hell is wrong with you? We’re in a cab—”

He ignored you, his lips continuing to find their way around your face. “When we get back?”

You looked down at his knee, how it was wrapped, how much pain it had caused him. “You just hurt your leg, and you’re not in your right mind.”

“Oh, i’m completely in my right mind,” he kissed your ear, letting a little breath of air tickle you. “I’ve wanted this forever.”

You sighed, your breath shaking, your chest tight. You had absolutely no experience—you’ve never had sex, never did anything with a man other than what you were doing now, and the little kiss you gave seonghwa. 

“I’m a virgin,” you whispered softly, embarrased. However, you felt the most comfortable with jongho. He was your everything.

“So am I,” he admitted, smiling. “We can learn together.”

“God, we’re so lame,” you breathed, smiling. 

Jongho, however, did not care about any words. He nuzzled into your collarbone, pressing a kiss there, over and over again. 

“So, does that mean we can have sex?”

—

You assisted jongho into your building, helping him into the elevator and pressing your floor while he leaned against the wall. 

The silence was deafening. You were sure he was able to hear your heart beat through your chest.

As the doors closed, you let a sigh out. 

“y/n,” he breathed. Behind you, his eyes were on you.

“Hm?” you hummed, afraid to turn to him, afraid of what you would do, what he would do. 

“I love you,” he spoke. 

You’ve both basically said it only an hour before. Only then, it didn't feel real. Now, maybe it was the fact that Jongho’s eyes have cleared up, his expression was raw. He looked nervous, he looked anxious. This was all new, all foreign—but Jongho wasn't new, wasn't different. He’s always been him, been by your side, your rock, your everything.

“I….love you too, dummy.”

When the elevator reached your floor, it took you a second to move. You helped him down the hall, and when you reached your door, you paused.

“Do you…want to…” you trailed off, unsure if that was only the drugs talking earlier.

When you turned to jongho, he had a sinister smile on his face. 

“You mean,” he nodded toward your room. “What I think you mean?”

“Well, jeez,” you scoffed, turning around to open your door. “As if you weren't the one all over me in the cab—”

A second later, you both stood in the entrance of your room, both of your hearts beating like crazy.

He entered the room after you, slowly shutting the door. The room was dark—you weren't even trying to turn the lights on.

You turned to jongho, watching him stand with his fists at his sides, his fingers gripping the fabric of his basketball shorts.

“How do we…” you took in a sharp breath, meeting his gaze. His eyes were wide, dripping with love, lust, with so much. You weren't sure if they always looked like that, if they looked at you like that. Those eyes….

“Let’s just, he winced a bit as he stepped closer. “Just stay where you are.”

When he got close enough, you saw the worry in his expression. The hesitancy, the love. He looked up, and his eyes spoke a thousand unspeakable words. His hand reached out, pausing at the hem of your cheerleading uniform. 

You let out an anxious laugh at his face, as he looked so conflicted. You didn't say anything though, and after a moment, he tugged your top right over your head, grinning like a goofball at the red lacy bra you had on.

“For me?” he murmured, his hand subconsciously drifting to run over your skin, his fingertips pressing against the thin fabric of your bra. He met your gaze, his jaw tightening.

You reached for his top now, the loose jersey easily pulling over his head—the jersey that was hiding the soft curves of muscle. You’ve seen him shirtless many times, an unimaginable amount of times—but this time, it was different. You ran a hand down the pane of his chest, across the mounds of muscle, down his soft but muscular frame. He was perfect, absolutely sexy, breathtaking, gorgeous. 

He shivered under your touch, meeting your gaze. He moved to take his shorts off, but winced. “Hold on, i’ll take them off—” but you both leaned down at the same time, crashing your heads together, causing a storm of laughter.

“God, we’re so not good at this,” He chuckled, smiling bright even in the dark room.

“No, not really,” you grinned, reaching down at his hips, pulling his shorts off, tugging a bit at the erection that bulged out. You held in your pride, the fact that he was already so turned on by just taking your clothes off.

His shorts fell down to his ankles, his underwear with them, leaving him completely naked, completely vulnerable in front of you. He looked at you with those damn eyes, those irises that held every emotion possible for you.

You took a second to take him in, his thickness, his length. You swallowed hard, suddenly aware that…that would go inside you, and it would probably tear your virgin self to shreds.

He then gripped the waistband of your skirt, tugging you to him. He was slightly taller than you, so when your body hit his, you felt his cock against your lower stomach, feeling a pulsing ache in your body. His fingers glided against the bare skin of your waist as he pulled your skirt over your hips, and when they fell, you were left standing in your mismatched underwear, begging him to take it off of you, too.

However, he just stood there like a deer in headlights, staring at the curves of your body, and the smoothness of your skin. His mouth parted, his eyes grew wide, and his hands twitched to touch you, to ravage you, to swallow you whole as if you were roadkill and he was a vulture.

An anxious vulture.

He reached around you, the heat of his body warming you, and his hands clasped around the clip of your bra. He fiddled with it for a good moment, and as he started getting irritated that he couldn't get it, you laughed. “Goddamn this thing has you locked up like fort knox—”

“Do you want me to get it—”

“No, no, i’ll be extremely embarassed, let me do it.” he continued to try to get it off you, and finally, it fell off you, onto the ground, and Jongho stood with a proud smile on his lips. “Fuck yeah, finally.”

But, right after his words of triumph, his eyes fell to your full breasts. His eyes widened, and he gave into his desires, letting himself grab one, calloused fingers gliding against your nipple.

“Oh, fuck y/n,” he breathed, both his hands coming up to cradle your breasts, to feel you up. He took in a breath, eyes unable to leave your body. “You’re absolutely beautiful.”

He dipped his head, taking in a breast into his mouth, flicking his tongue over your nipple. You felt your stomach tighten, felt your wetness pool at your thighs. He looked up to your eyes as he sucked, and when he saw your ecstatic expression, he quickly pulled away.

He didn't spare an extra second to claw at your underwear, satisfyingly watching them fall to the ground, leaving you both completely naked in the middle of the room. He looked at you, love dripping from his chocolate eyes.

And thats when you gripped the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I don't do this very well,” you admitted, twirling your fingers in his hair. He didn't seem to even hear what you said as his eyes remained on your lips.

“God, we cant be friends anymore,” he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours, he hesitated, lips hovering over yours, his breath shaky, tangling with yours. “Definetly not, fuck.”

You tilted your chin forward, lips so close, so so close. His hands found your hips, fingernails leaving marks in your skin. 

And with one last look into your eyes, jongho sighed, letting go of everything. He pressed his soft lips to yours, taking you in like he hasn't kissed you before. Like he’s always wanted to. He breathed into you, moving his hands to cradle your face, to get as close to you as possible. 

You arched your body against his, bucking your hips into his, and he grunted in response. You fell backwards onto the bed, him on top of you, but as you fell, he bit your lip so hard you let out a little yelp.

“Oh shit,” he gasped, parting from you, eyes wide with worry. “Are you okay? Did that hurt? I didn't mean to do that—-”

“Shh, shut your face,” you patted him on the cheek, giggling at his reaction. 

He adjusted himself on top of you. “Here, make sure you’re head’s on your pillow, I want you to be comfortable.” he adjusted you, too, and he looked so sincere and serious it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?” he asked, but couldn't help but let out a little chuckle, too. “Stop, this is serious.”

You laughed even more. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just really cute.” you watched his eyes twinkle as he looked at you. “And you look so pretty on top of me.”

He smirked, holding back his giggle. “Stop it.”

“I’m just saying,” you reached a hand out to wrap around his neck, tugging his lips right back down to yours, kissing him softly. “Mhm. I cant get enough of this.”

He smiled into the kiss. “Me neither, I cant believe you’re under me right now.”

You couldn't help the blush that heated your cheeks. You were suddenly aware of his dick against your thighs, of your skin against his. You looked into his eyes, looked at how they were looking at you, how he held himself over you. 

And then, after a look of utter love, he smiled and kissed you. This time, he stuck his tongue into your mouth, running over the ridges of the roof of your mouth. You opened your mouth wider, deepening the kiss, knocking your nose against his. 

His lips parted as he gasped for air, his chest heaved against yours. His hand delicately glided up your ribs, meeting the skin of your breasts. He gripped your breast in his hand, moaning into your mouth, hips bucking into yours. You couldve sworn you felt his heartbeat through his chest as he made out with you, as his hands covered you. He pulled away only to make sure you still wanted this, and when you nodded, he reached down to line himself up with you. The concept of sex always felt so difficult. So worrisome, so new. But with jongho, it felt like you've done this forever.

“If it hurts, tell me,” he whispered against your lips, kissing you gently. “I’ll take care of you.”

You literally couldve came at those words. You swallowed hard, and forced out a nod.

He pecked your lips, smiling, kissing them again. His hands hesitated, not knowing what to touch as his tip pressed into your cunt, his breath shortening, sweat dripping down his forehead.

You reached out, gliding a hand across his cheek, across his lips, smiling up at him.

“I….” he hesitated before entering you. “Are you wet enough? Should I spit?”

He looked terrified. Absolutely terrified. So you ran a hand soothingly through his hair, watching his eyes shut tight in pleasure, in delight. “Don't worry about anything and just do it.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, letting out a little laugh. “Okay, okay.”

And then, his eyes bled into yours as he tilted his hips, pushing his cock slowly into you, so gently, as if he was terrified of hurting you. You watched his mouth part, watched his expression change to euphoria as he filled you, every inch sparking a new feeling. 

He snapped his hips, his length fully in you, and you nearly cried out from the feeling. You moaned as he moved slowly, clawing at his shoulders, this feeling unlike anything else—your damn vibrator held nothing on Jongho.

He relaxed his expression, his eyes fluttering open, looking right down on you. You met his gaze as he moved in and out of you.

“Does it hurt, if it hurts, I can stop—”

“Shut the hell up and fuck me, jongho,” you grumbled, your hands finding a home on his hips, the feeling of them snapping under your hands sent you spiraling. You moaned as his dick reached a new spot, as you felt your walls tighten around him. You wanted to cry out, rip your hair out, tear at his skin as you felt the intense crave for him. The way he looked down on you fueled the fire in your hips, in your back. You felt an ache in your hips, slamming your head back, fighting the urge to claw the bedsheets.

But then you sae his grimace, and you frowned. “Oh my god, you’re knee, you’re in pain.”

He kept moving, but he was definitely in pain. “I-I think the meds wore off—”

Without thinking, you pushed him off you, making him roll over so now he was the one on th bottom. You straddled him, looking at his shocked expression, how his breaths quickened, how his cock twitched for you. To be inside you. 

You had an unimaginable amount of knowledge from all your smutty books, so you might as well try to use what you know, right?

“y/n, what are you—”

“Let me please you,” you breathed, and with a slow, calculative movement, you sat on his dick, sliding his length into you, once again gaining the extreme pleasure of his expression and the absolute desperation he expressed. He gasped as you moved up and down on his cock, and he watched you, watched him dissapear into you. He slammed his head back into the pillow, his face contorting, moans fluttering through his lips, his eyebrows knitting together in pleasure and a million other things.

“God, fuck,” his hands gripped your hips as you rode him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, his breaths shallow. He gasped for air. “You feel so good, oh my god. So fucking good.”

You tossed your head back, resting your hands on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the smoothness of it. He blinked up at you, a smile on his lips, completely in bliss.

He moved his hands with you, nearly lifting you up as you moved on his cock, moved on his body. You forgot how strong he was.

“You sure you’ve never done this?” he gasped, his eyes shut tight. “Because fuck, this is better than I ever imagined.”

You smiled down on him, giddy at his words. You moved even faster, causing him to moan, and moan, and moan.

You didn't even know what to say—you just enjoyed his little commentary as he took you in, his gaze dripping like honey.

“Godamn,” he hissed, eyes meeting yours. He looked frantic. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he seethed, hips slamming up into yours. “Fuck, you’re so hot, so so hot.”

You felt him twitch inside you, felt your walls collapse. You began to see spots in your vision as he moved his hips, too, just as you were. You felt so much pride as he looked absolutely pathetic underneath you, his gaze hazy, his lips bright red from your kisses.

“I love you, I…love you,” he hissed out. “I love you.”

You reached your climax just from looking at him, crying out in a moan, leaning forward over his body. His hands flooded all over you, sending sparks at every touch, every spot of your body. And when you came, when you felt the rush of cum, the rush of the high finally hit, you continued to move as he did. Then, suddenly, his eyes grew so wide, he lifted you off his cock hastily, gasping for air.

You leaned back on his legs, onto your heels, trying to breathe, trying to see, as his hands grasped his own dick, moving up and down before he came, his cum shooting onto you, over your chest, your boobs, your stomach. You watched him gasp as it happened, his lips curling up in an embarrassed smile.

“Oh, oops,” he laughed, looking absolutely delectable with the hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes wide with pleasure. “Totally meant to do that….”

Something burned under your skin, something foreign, something you never felt before. You’ve only read about this feeling, this moment. But now, here you were. You just had sex, sex with your best friend, and it was the best thing you’ve ever felt before. You needed more, so so much more.

“Please tell me we can do that again,” you breathed, falling onto him, sticking to him, feeling the beat of his heart as you pressed your ear to his chest.

“Oh, fuck yes,” his hand wrapped around you, holding you to him. He pressed a gentle, exasperated his to the top of your head. “You don't even have to ask that, i’m planning on doing that all night.”

You moved a bit so you could lay against his side, totally forgetting about the cum on you that now got all over the place. “You seemed like you knew what you were doing for a virgin,” you side eyed him. “You have to be lying.”

He smirked, a light blush on his cheeks. “Uh, well,” he swallowed, eyes looking all over your face. “I mean, I have been thinking about what I would do if I ever got to sleep with you.”

You furrowed your brows. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Well I didn't get to do exactly what I wanted,” he looked down at your lips, at your body pressed to his. “Because of my damn knee, but,” he pressed a kiss to your nose. “That means we have to do this again.”

“Oh, baby,” you pinched his cheek. “We’ll be doing this way more than we probably should.”

He smiled, that blush still on his face, across his nose. He looked so beautiful, so so pretty, it actually hurt you to look at him.

You kissed him, kissed his lips, his nose, his flushed cheeks. 

And you looked at him, at his eyes, the same eyes you’ve known forever. 

“I love you, Jongho.”

—

The next morning, you parted ways with a sleepy jongho, late for your early class. You couldn't stop thinking about him all day, that is, until you ran into Mingi and San in the library cafe.

Mingi grinned like the cheshire cat, an eye smile brighter than the sun. “Well, hello there, you.”

You rolled your eyes as the line for the coffee moved. San and Mingi stood behind you, giggling like little kids.

“So, Jongho didn't come back last night,” San started, and you quickly cut in.

“So? He always stays in my room, its not anything odd—”

“Oh, sweetie,” Mingi crossed his arms, grinning. “But it is odd.”

“Why?” you crossed your arms, too, facing him. San stood by with a little chuckle.

“Because he came back to the room before his class and his jersey was on inside out—”

“So? He likes to sleep shirtless—”

“His lips were covered in red lipstick—”

“I don't know what you were talking about—”

“Oh, and he told me that he had sex with you—”

You slammed a hand against San’s mouth, giving him a death glare while mingi giggled like a school girl. You grimaced, pulling your hand away. “Shut up, or i’ll make you.”

“Ooh, so scary,” San waved his hands in the air dramatically. “Anyway, are you dating him now? You better date him, he’s been dreaming of that for so long.”

You blinked. “I mean, we said we loved each other, but nothing about dating….”

Mingi smirked. “Welp, guess you better go figure that out.”

After class, you found yourself in front of Jongho’s door, a shake in your breath as you knocked. He opened the door, shirtless, a smile on his face the minute he met your gaze.

And then he grabbed you by the waist and planted a big kiss onto your lips, smiling into it, and then pulled away.

“Hi,” you smiled.

“Hi.” he tilted his head, looking you up and down.

“I heard you told San everything.”

He bit his lip. “Was I supposed to keep it to myself?”

You shook your head, smiling.

“Do you want to come in?” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Mhm,” you nodded, following him in.

The minute the door shut, Jongho slammed you up against it, swallowing you whole with his mouth as he kissed you. His hands gripped the side of your head, tugging at your hair, causing you to let out a hiss. He took the opportunity of your open mouth to shove his tongue into you, exploring your mouth with pleasure. He moaned into you, and you couldn't help but moan yourself.

His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you up, slamming your back into the door as he held you to him. He then started to walk towards his bed, but you realized his injury.

“Jongho, you’re leg,” you breathed with worry, trying to get him to put you down. “You’ll hurt yourself—”

“Shut up,” he spoke into your mouth, indeed shutting you up immediately. You sighed as he kissed you, as he touched you. He gently set you down onto his bed, and you went under his duvet since he kept his room like an icebox. 

He followed you suit, crawling on top of you under the covers, but you had a better idea. Once again, you flipped him so he was on his back, and with one quick look at the shock in his gaze, you kissed his collarbone, then his chest, down his sternum, over the soft muscle of his stomach. You slowly pulled his pants down over his cock, his underwear along with them.

You felt his muscles tighten underneath your lips, you heard his breath hitch as you moved lower and lower, until your lips met the soft skin of his hard cock. He gasped his hands searching for you under the covers, his legs moving in pleasure as you licked his tip.

“Oh my…oh…” he arched his back against your kiss, your hands holding onto his hips as you surrounded your mouth around his erection. He thrashed against you, absolutely liquid in your embrace.

But before you could take him fully, the door of his room opened, and in came san blabbing about god knows what.

You quickly moved, trying to lay flat the best you could to hide. Jongho sat up fast, pulling the blanket up and bunching it around his dick, making sure it wasn't so obvious that you were under there….and that he was literally throbbing hard.

“I ran into y/n earlier, she admitted to it!” san roared, and you assumed he was taking his shoes off considering the sound. “Good for you buddy, I know how long you wanted to tap that—”

“Ah, yeah,” Jongho awkwardly laughed. You wish you could see the look on his face, the embarrassment. Just how long did he want you?

You couldn't help but stroke your hand against his dick, causing him to gasp.

“You alright?” San questioned, now making his way to the other side of the room. 

You continued to rub him. Jongho gripped the blanket tight.

“Peachy,” Jongho grunted.

San didn't speak for a while.

“Are you gonna finally ask her out?”

You paused.

Jongho sighed. “Huh?” he was totally out of it.

“I mean, you’ve been in love with y/n for ages, you might as well make if official while you can.”

“Am I?” Jongho swallowed hard. “Am I in love with her?”

“Ah shut up, you know it,” San scoffed,and a bed creaked—assumingly his. You decided to continue to suck Jongho off, taking him in your mouth, causing him to jolt.

“I uh, i’ll ask her out later,” Jongho took in a breath. “But, um, do you think you could….you know, give me a moment?”

“A moment, why—”San paused, then gasped. “Are you beating your meat right now? Oh fuck man, my bad!”

You nearly cackled against Jongho at the way they conversed with each other, how normal it seemed. It made you wonder how often this happened, how often Jongho did this to himself, how many times he thought about you while doing it…

That turned you on even more.

The minute you heard the door shut, you tossed the covers over your head, meeting Jongho’s shocked, mind-boggled expression.

“Jeez, y/n, fuck,” he couldn't help but smile as he looked at you, as you sucked him. “You’re a freak.”

“Well, you should see the things I read,” you chuckled, and then licked up the column of his cock, causing him to take hold of your head.

He shoved you up and down on his dick, his fingers tearing into your scalp, causing you to choke on him. He groaned, moaned, hummed every note possible, and then without warning, he came into your mouth, his body going still, his eyes open wide as he watched you swallow his load.

Oh, he tasted better than you ever imagined. 

His saltiness still coated your lips as you leaned over to kiss him, his eyes lost in you. He looked so in love, so in lust, in everything.

“Are you gonna ask me out?” you asked in between kisses.

“Mhm,” he leaned into your kiss, not wanting to break apart. 

“Are we dating now?”

Kiss.

He blinked, looking up at you. His smile defined beauty, his lips desire. 

“If you’d like.”

“Of course.”

You kissed him once more, wrapping your arms around his neck, rolling around in bed with him. He chuckled, smiled, nuzzled his head into you. 

“I have practice,” you kissed his cheek, trying to get up, but his arms wrapped around you, holding you to him. “I have to go.”

“One more minute,” he mumbled into your ear as he nibbled it, then kissed it. “Just a minute.”

You smiled. “Okay, fine, I guess I can spare a minute.”

He held you, breathed in your scent, his scent on your lips. He didn't let go, even after the minute, and you hand to force yourself out of his hold.

“Meet me in my room tonight?” you raised a brow,

He nodded. “Of fucking course.”

You quickly tried to fix your hair up, tucking it behind your ears, before you gave your boyfriend a wink while you walked out.

And, funny enough, when you shut the door behind you and turned around, San stood there, smirking devilishly.

“Well damn, when’s it my turn?”

[a-tiny-thing]

i’m not one to make serious announcements, but this is serious. Moon Taeil, Oldest member of NCT, has been kicked out of the group due to SERIOUS sexual assault allegations. If you thought Lucas was bas, this is even worse. Removed from the group in mere seconds. Me being a Taeil stan, i’m more than disgusted. disappointed. But just because you may like him, doesn’t mean defend him. The things that he has possibly done is wrong and disgusting and if you defend him, you’re disgusting too.

The statement reads:

This is SM Entertainment.

We have recently confirmed that Taeil has been implicated in a criminal case related to sexual crimes.

While looking into the situation, we recognized that the issue is very serious, and we have decided that Taeil could no longer continue team activities. We have discussed this matter with Taeil and it has been decided he will be removed from the group.

Currently, Taeil is faithfully cooperating with the police investigation. We will share additional statements as the investigation progresses.

We deeply apologize for the controversy caused by our artist.

More is to come out about the case, stand with the victim, not with your idol.

[a-tiny-thing]

r u still gonna continue break in 🥹🥹 i js read it awhile ago nd it was so cute

omg i literally have an unfinished draft of break in pt.5, but i sadly couldn't complete these past days cuz of college 😭 i'm going to continue writing it soon if i have time, it's on hiatus for now. sorry 😓

[a-tiny-thing]

the parent trap | KHJ

part 1 of the Night in Hollywood!series

☆ trope: exes to lovers!au, divorced!au

☆ pairing: producer!hongjoong x designer!reader, dad!joong x mom!reader

☆ warnings: nsfw (mdni), swearing, mentions of food, mentions of food poisoning, female desc. reader, drinking, suggestiveness, smut, slight!breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), overstim, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap!) nipple play, titty sucking, marking, praise, slightdom!joong, blond!joong bc that itself is too much for me, mentions of (early) pregnancy, you’re both in your early thirties and make an unbelievably stubborn couple in this!

☆ synopsis: AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each other’s houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions you’ve swept under the rug? . . .

☆ word count: 18.1k

☆ playlist: soulful strut by young-holt unlimited, l-o-v-e by nat king cole, just the way you are by billy joel, slipping through my fingers by abba, this will be (an everlasting love) by natalie cole

☆ a/n: it’s finally here. I can’t believe I’m writing this and saying it’s finally here oh my goodness. first off, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me with the series so far (shoutout to @kitten4sannie , @byuntrash101 and especially @desirehorizon for being amazing!) everyone’s sweet comments have been greatly appreciated, and I just hope this silly little fic brings a smile to your everyday lives.

ty for making writing worth it as a writer. now cue the opening credits!

“ABSOLUTELY NOT” Hongjoong says.

“But dadd,” she whines, clutching the wrinkled pamphlet closer to her chest. Eunseo’s small hands are covered in purple doodles her sister drew using a glitter pen. 

“Why not?” the girl complains, shrugging her shoulders. 

He sighs, pushing his glasses up with one hand as he continues typing away at the important document the producing company sent him on his laptop. He tries his best to reason with the child.

“Because, baby…” pausing to think for a moment before responding. “It would be hard for your mom and I to find a time that fits into our schedules. I’ve got work, and she must be busy as well.” 

Eunseo glares at her father’s excuse. 

Okay, yeah, the man knows it’s somewhat of a lie, himself. 

She continues to protest by shoving the advertising pamphlet in her dads face and blocking his view of the screen. Thankfully, Hongjoong is used to these sort of work distractions, expertly avoiding her by craning his neck sideways and continuing to type away.

“But dad, it’s an amazing cottage resort! They’ve got a lake where you can go swimming in, a forest hiking trail, a bonfire to roast marshmallows and even a diner less than fifteen minutes away! So if you end up burning the camp food like last time, we can just order and eat in! Isn’t that great?” She beams. 

He stops typing for a second, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he gives his first born a look that makes her immediately break into a sweet smile, batting her lashes and flashing him a look of innocence. 

“Please?” She begs, standing on the edge of her feet as she gazes up at him. “The last time we went was when Eunbyul and me were toddlers.” 

And how on earth could any dad’s heart not melt at the sight of his daughter trying to convince him about one harmless vacation? 

Hongjoong wheels his office chair back, turning so he could look her in the eyes properly and tuck a stray hair behind her ear. 

“Listen honey, I’m sorry, I really wish I could, but…” he trails off, looking back at the open tabs and file documents displayed on his computer.

Turning his head around and upon seeing a frown form on his daughter's face, he quickly reassures her. 

“Once you finish your final piano recital tomorrow and your mom picks your sister up to take her to her hockey game, how about we go fishing the weekend afterwards?” he suggests, brows raising. “That’ll mean I have just the two of you all to myself.”

Eunseo mumbles under her breath, quiet but insistent enough that he catches it. 

“But we’re supposed to be a family of four.” 

She sulks, thinking of how that would leave you, her mother, left out of their plans. The arms holding the pamphlet up, ultimately fall down in defeat. 

He places a peck on her forehead, patting her on the back. “You know, if you can get your mom to say yes, then I’ll think about it” he chuckles, knowing the highly unlikely probability of the event.

Adjusting his glasses, the producer goes back to his work, peeking his daughter slugging away from the corner of his eye. 

Eunseo slumps her shoulders in defeat as she walks out of her dads office, turning the corner to see her twin sister, Eunbyeol, pressing her ears near the door with her neck outstretched. Clearly she’s been caught in the middle of trying to overhear their conversation. 

The twin younger by fifteen seconds quickly rushes over, waiting expectantly.

“So? What did dad say?”

Eunseo exhales, throwing the information pamphlet away on the wooden floors and slumping against the living room couch. 

“He’s totally not buggin. Said he wants to take us fishing next weekend instead. Just us three.” she grumbles. 

Eunbyeol scrunches her nose at the idea. 

“But dad sucks at fishing.”

Her sister groans, kicking her small feet against the couch in frustration. “I know!” Eunbyeol starts to worry, coming to sit beside her.

“Then how on earth are we going to get mom and dad to get back with each other again? They haven’t been in the same room since we were like, five!”

Her twin sister scoffs, “First, we gotta get them to have a proper conversation with each other. They barely even talk when they drop us off at each other's houses.”

Nobody truly knows why you and Hongjoong had divorced so suddenly when the girls were young. Not even themselves.

All they were used to were cold stares and one word replies shared amongst their parents, refusing to find harmony in their co-parenting.

Frankly, your girls have had enough of the performance you were both trying to maintain, looking past your expressions to realize you and your husband still held feelings for the other. It was only a matter of time and place in order to set you two up together, thus, the idea of an intimate, family getaway came into their minds. 

After a few moments of letting her words hang in the air, Eunbyeol’s eyes widened to the size of saucers. 

“That’s it!”

The older twin looks up quizzically, watching her sister jump off the couch and gaze at her excitedly. 

“We’ll just have to force them to meet each other! We can always guilt trip them for dropping us off at their houses and making us play alone!”

Eunseo rolls her eyes at the idea. “Right, and how are we going to do that dummy? The only reason they’d do that, was if it was an emergency.”

Whoever said twin telepathy wasn’t a thing was a liar, because the second Eunseo catches onto what her sister is saying, the twins share a look of pure mischievousness, the gears in their brains working together as one. 

With hushed whispers and quiet giggles, the twins immediately begin conducting their plan in secrecy near the corner of the living room, backs turned and in the middle of discussion when Hongjoong walks out of his office with an empty coffee mug. 

“What are you guys doing over there?”

“Leave us alone! Family man traitor!” Eunbyeol shouts, holding a slightly hostile grudge to her father before turning back to whisper to her twin. 

Hongjoong shakes his head, sighing as he heads into the kitchen. 

“Then it’s perfect! I’ll stay here with dad once my piano recital is over, and then when Mom picks you up for your hockey game tomorrow, we’ll try convincing them together!”

Eunbyeol nods her head in agreement, eyes lighting up with excitement as she whispers in a hushed tone. 

“And once both events end, we’ll pretend to be so sick that they have to take us to the nearby hospital.”

The other twin smirks. ”Where we’ll end up guilt tripping them into taking us to the cottage.”

They double high five in victory at their flawless plan, already waiting for tomorrow to come as soon as possible.

“A summer cottage?” you repeated, brows raising at the idea as you made a left turn onto your street. 

Eunbyeol nods eagerly from the back seat after getting picked up, having ranted on and on about the ad in the pamphlet since the moment you saw her.

“It's an amazing establishment mom,” She boasts, making you laugh at her words while parking the car and unbuckling your seatbelt.

“They have everything you could possibly think of!”

“Oh, really?” You say skeptically, opening the door for her. 

Eunbyeol is lost in the middle of passionately describing all the relaxing activities you could do by yourself, or rather per se, with a special partner together. 

“There’s couples hiking retreats, couples canoeing, couples yoga… did I mention couples hiking retreats?” She confuses, retracing her words. 

You roll your eyes and smile, keys jangling as you walk through the entrance of your apartment flat while balancing the bags and items in your hands.

Being a wedding dress designer and yet picking up your daughter from your ex-husband's house could’ve been ironic to some people. But after having split with Hongjoong since the girls were so young, you came to grow fond of having some independence as a divorcee, channeling your main focus into setting up your own bridal shop downtown.

It was through that hard work and focus that you did it all by yourself with no additional help.

You’d be lying if you said you haven't opened a bottle of red wine some nights due to loneliness as a divorced single mother, but at least that was what you had your daughters for.

You made sure to work just as hard as you did enjoy playing and spending time with them. After all, they were the light of your life and purpose for living.

Balancing the pizza you picked up on the way home, you set it down on the kitchen island, telling Eunbyeol to go wash her hands in the sink. The girl doesn’t stop ranting.

“There’s usually only two rooms in the cottage, so you’ll have to sleep together with dad, but I guess you won't mind, would you? After all, you were once married” She rolls her eyes, reaching for the soap.

You shake your head with a sigh. ”What is up with you and getting me and your father together in the same room?” you muttered as you took out the plates and utensils. 

Eunbyeol eventually walks back to you, wiping her hands on her baggy jeans before sitting on the kitchen stool. 

“It’s not that I’m obsessed, Mom. Actually, Eunseo and I are just dying to get away this summer now that school is over.”

Turning around from plating the pizza and salad, you chastise your daughter, telling her to sit with her bum flat on the stool so she doesn’t fall. She immediately listens, carrying on with her persuasion. 

“We just want you and dad to get the chance to relax as well, that’s all!” her mouth full from a bite of hot, greasy pizza. 

You smile, wiping your washed hands on the kitchen towel and coming over to wrap your arms around her affectionately. 

“Spending time with you and Eunseo every week is how I relax,” you assured her, smothering your baby with kisses on her cheek.

Byeol lets out a squeal of annoyance, taking another bite of her pizza. “You’re squishing me!” She tries hiding her smile, failing when you lean in closer. 

You pull back in laughter, ruffling her hair as you walk away while reminding her.

“Oh! Don’t forget you’ve got your hockey game tonight!”

Byeol chews faster, munching on the soft crust and counting down the hours on the kitchen clock. 

She smiles to herself. 

“Don’t worry, I know!”

“What do you mean you need to go to the hospital?” Hongjoong asks in a worried voice, standing against the women’s washroom stall. He holds Eunseo’s congratulatory flower bouquet for first place in hand, feeling the stares of multiple women passing by, clearly judging him for being in the ladies room with them. 

“Honey, is everything all right?” He asks worriedly. A string of groans come from behind the door.

“You need to leave!” one old lady thrusts her walking cane at the father, lips pursed in dissatisfaction. 

Eunseo did such a phenomenal job tonight for her piano recital, that Hongjoong was shocked to see his daughter clutch her stomach first thing after running down the steps of the stage, dashing to the washrooms.

He whips his head back. “My daughter’s having a bit of a situation in here, okay miss? Have a bit of understanding!” He barks frustratedly out loud to the onlookers before speaking softly back to the stall door. 

“Eunseo, baby, talk to me, is everything alright in there? Are you sure you need to go to the hospital? Is it that bad?” 

The girl continues her acting performance, letting out fake groans while typing furiously on her cellphone. 

“Oh the pain! I think I might have food poisoning, dad!”

Seolie: How far along are u

Byeolie: Mom’s outside, banging to come in. 

Seolie: same, I told dad I needed to go to the hospital.

Eunseo lets out another groan of pain, causing Hongjoong to worry even more. 

“That’s it, Eunseo. Let me in and help you” he decides, searching his bag for a painkiller or at least some sort of medication for relief. 

The girl frantically checks her phone, eyes lighting up at the new message. 

Byeolie: Mom’s getting the car to take me to the hospital. I’ve got her convinced to call dad soon.

Eunseo types as fast as her small fingers can move, even faster than when she performed her piano solo from before. 

Seolie: Then what do I do????

Hongjoong gets slightly suspicious at the lack of sound coming from the stall, calling to his daughter again.

“Eunseo? Everything alright?”

At the next notification, the girl makes up her mind, getting the signal from her sister. 

Byeolie: play dead. Mom calling soon. See ya there.

The actress gets into character, gaining her composure before unlocking the washroom stall and holding her stomach as she stumbles into her dad’s surprised arms. 

“Eunseo!”

She wails, falling limp. “Oh, dad! Please! Take me to the hospital, it hurts too much!”

It’s truly a mystery which parent she got her acting skills from.

But she doesn’t have to tell him twice at that point. The man is already piggy backing his fainted daughter and sprinting out of the ladies washroom, reassuring her with soothing comments as he makes a beeline for the parking lot.

“Stay with me baby!” He huffs, unbeknownst to Eunseo who peeks one eye open. 

Only after he straps his daughter in the backseat and is turning on the engine does he receive a sudden phone call from you, pressing the speaker for the whole car to hear your panicked voice. You break the news to him first. 

“Eunbyeol’s severely sick. She fainted right after her hockey game.”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “What?”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “She was holding her stomach saying she ate something wrong. Is Eunseo okay?” 

Hongjoong puts the stick into drive, backing out of the parking lot and replying in a hurry.

“She’s hit with the same thing right now. I’ll meet you at the Hospital in ten” he grunts, sweat forming on his brow as he speeds through traffic, not caring if he gets a ticket. 

Had he looked in his rear view mirror, he would have seen Eunseo sagging near the car door, clutching her stomach with a small grin on her face.

You never liked the hospital. 

The sounds of babies crying and hospital beds wheeling become the background noise, shifting nervously in your seat that was in the emergency pediatrics unit waiting area. 

Hongjoong has his eyebrows furrowed, hunched over one seat beside you as he hangs his head in his hands, knees bouncing up and down. A middle aged nurse nasally calls on the next family waiting from the front desk, boredom laced in her voice. 

You sigh, uncrossing your legs and choosing to bite at the fingernail on your right hand once realizing you’ve already done the same to all the ones on your left. 

“It’s all my fault.” Hongjoong confesses, suddenly sitting still. 

You glance to your left, watching as he sits up slowly. 

“Last thing they ate together would’ve been at my house. I probably made them sick with something I fed them,” he dejects, hanging his head down in shame. 

“It’s all my fault, god I’m so stupid!” He beats himself up. 

You have half the mind to snap at your ex-husband, anger already filling up inside you earlier when you heard Eunbyeol suggest it was something she ate at her dad’s house. You really did want to yell at him for being so bad of a chef that he sent his own daughters to the emergency pediatrics unit, undeniably relieved that Seonghwa was working tonight’s shift. 

But those cruel words sitting on the tip of your tongue are thrown away when you glance down to see your ex-husband missing a shoe on one of his feet. 

Hongjoong rushed over here so fast with Eunseo that he left his shoe behind like some sort of fairytale, Cinderella. He hasn’t even realized he wasn’t wearing one right now.

You exhaled, knowing that if there's one thing you’ve learned while parenting, it was that to have patience and understanding was a virtue. Even for your ex-husband.

“It’s not your fault,” you sighed, staring at your hands folded in your lap. 

It feels awkward when Hongjoong stops tugging at his blond locks to look at you in surprise, continuing to speak as you place a gentle hand on his thigh. 

“That could’ve happened to anyone. We don’t know yet if it was because of the food. Let’s just pray and wait and see” your voice being a sign of reliability to him. 

The man is a little shocked at your supportive nature to tell you truthfully. He delivers all the things he needs to say through his grateful gaze alone, reciprocating a small smile. 

“Didn’t think I’d see you guys tonight.” Seonghwa chuckles, walking in before Hongjoong has the chance to reply. He comes from the patient's room wearing his dashing, white doctor's coat. “Together, at that” he mumbles under his breath before looking up and flashing you a polite smile while giving his worried friend a soft pat on the back.

Hongjoong holds his breath when he asks: “How are they?”

“Better,” he tells him, flipping through some papers on his clipboard. “But it was a big shock to their bodies. They need some rest at the moment.” 

The pediatrician tries not to show his smile, standing in front of you and Hongjoong while hiding his expression behind his clipboard as per his niece’s request.

To be fair, if someone had told Seonghwa earlier that evening that he would receive a fifteen minute pep talk from his best friend's twin daughters that day in the emergency unit, he would’ve laughed in their faces. 

Alas, life was always filled with surprises. Here’s what went down thirty minutes earlier in the hospital room:

“We’re trying to get them back together,” Eunseo announced confidently, sitting next to her sister on the hospital bed. 

Eunbyeol nodded, eyeing the dumbfounded medical professional standing in front of them with his clipboard tucked under his arm, hands in his pockets. 

“So.. you guys don’t need an IV drip?”

“It’s this whole entire thing, Uncle Hwa, we’ll explain to you later.”

It took a minute before Seonghwa reclaimed his composure as an adult, chastising the twins for pulling a false alarm over something like this. He made sure to make them promise him they wouldn’t do something stupid like this again. But after that, of course Seonghwa is immediately pairing to help them with their plan on getting his best friend back together with his ex-wife. The man is just tired of watching Hongjoong beat himself up half the time about missing you. 

“So you essentially want me to lie about the fact that you guys don’t have food poisoning, and were just faking this whole thing so your mom and dad would have a reason to see each other.” 

The twins nod, one of them pointing out. “And make sure to tell them we’re fine of course. Maybe throw in we’re like, really sick, but that we’ll live so it’s best if we get rest.”

“At like a cottage or something” the other chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows at the hint. 

The doctor sighs, scratching his neck sheepishly. 

When Seonghwa leads you and Hongjoong into the hospital room, both of you feel awful seeing your babies laying in their beds, dressed in the children’s gowns. 

Eunbyeol peeks open her eyes first, voice hoarse (she practiced). 

“Mom? Dad? Is that you?” she groans, pretending to clutch her stomach in pain. 

Both you and Hongjoong rush to each child, grasping their hands and stroking their heads softly with sympathy. 

“Hey baby, I’m here” you coo.

“I’m so, so sorry girls, it was probably all my fault. I should’ve never cooked for you guys earlier today.” their dad cries out painfully, looking down in shame.

You come to stand beside him, reassuring them both. “But what’s important is that you guys get better now. We want to make sure you get the rest you need” you say, making eye contact with your ex-husband. 

Seonghwa clears his throat, crossing his arms as he flashes a wink to the girls behind your backs. 

“They seemed to have been mentally exhausted as well,” He asks on purpose, watching as you and Hongjoong share a look with each other. “Have they been receiving proper familial support at home?” 

“I can’t even remember the last time I saw my parents in the same room together.” Eunseo weakly admits, showing a faint smile. 

As parents, you and Joong feel the most amount of guilt anyone could ever feel. You realize how exhausting and stressful the pickups and drop offs to each other's houses could’ve been, especially when you two were so busy with your respective jobs to spend time with your daughters now that it was summer break for them. 

Hongjoong smiles, holding both their hands and making a promise to them. 

“Make sure to rest you two. Tell me, is there anything you guys need right now? Anything you guys want I'll make sure to get it for you.”

”Do you guys have crunchy ice?” Eunbyeol blurts out loud, breaking her weak facade. 

Eunseo almost wants to shoot a glare at her sister but she realizes both of you are still looking at them. 

“I can get you some ice!” Seonghwa quickly assures you and his nieces, mouthing to them good luck for support as he shuts the door behind him. 

You sigh, coming over to stroke Eunseo’s hair and caress Eunbyeol’s hand. 

“Well? Is there anything else you guys need from us?” Hongjoong states, eyes soft in sympathy. You nod, waiting to hear their response.

“Let us know girls, anything at all.”

Eunbyeol and Eunseo finally take their chance, sharing a hesitant look before speaking at the same time. 

“We want to go to the cottage”

“Together,” Eunseo says.

“As a family.” Eunbyeol adds in.

You and Hongjoong share a silent look. 

Later into the night, the twins are finally discharged from the hospital, deciding that they would stay at Hongjoong’s mothers apartment which was closest nearby, considering they were both tired and immediately needed a place to rest. 

The car ride home is awkwardly silent, even as the kids are (what you think) to be fast asleep, hockey gear and a bouquet of flowers riding with them in the backseat.

It was at their request for you to drive them to their grandmother's house, wanting both their parents with them till the ride home. Hongjoong settled on driving your car and dropping all of you off, planning to take a taxi back home and pick up his own car in the morning. Despite your protest on how inconvenient that was, he insisted as he didn’t want to disappoint the twins.

But suddenly the man begins to regret his offer, currently driving in complete silence on the highway, eyes facing forward and shoulders tense. Quiet FM nightly jazz plays from the radio. 

You’re sitting passenger seat up front with him in what feels like forever, looking solely at the reflections in the window, the street lamp lights scattering across your face as you travel through the nighttime traffic. It’s awkward being together like this.

You hear him clear his voice, speaking softly so he doesn’t wake up the girls.

“So, are we really considering that cottage retreat?” he glances back at you. 

You sit up, straightening your back and exhaling as you secretly wanted to have avoided that topic of discussion.

“We can’t Hongjoong,” you reasoned, shaking your head. “I couldn’t possibly take a whole vacation from the dress shop. Not unless I had someone take care of it for me, which my staff probably aren’t ready to do.” you explained, voice tense.

Hongjoong nodded, understanding your point of view. “I realize that. I’ve got a few projects I have to record and demo with Eden.” he tells you, an arm placed on the wheel with his sleeve rolled up. His veins become perfectly outlined as he passionately tells you about his producing job.

He’s so hot like that.

Jesus what were you thinking? Cursing your mind as you clear your voice and try to change the topic.

“How’s everything been going then?” you say stiffly. He nods, still awkward with sharing conversation with you. 

“Um, it's going good. You?” he asks.  

“Fine.” you swallow. 

Silence prevails. He’s first to speak again, building the courage to say the next thing in his mind. 

“I’m willing to put things on hold if I need to.” He confesses. 

Hongjoong continues to drive normally after having said that. Now it becomes your turn to stare at him now, watching how he glances at the side mirror, switching lanes swiftly like the pro-driver he was. 

“What do you mean?”

“Honestly, I think it would be good for the girls,” he admits, calling you by your name. Even hearing him call you your name feels weird. It feels foreign, like it almost wasn’t yours. 

“Hongjoong-” you warn, shaking your head at the warry possibility. 

“Just hear me out, alright?” He states firmly, making you quiet. 

He glances back into the rear view mirror, watching your girls peacefully asleep with their heads leaning against each other. 

“It’s been almost seven years. Seven years since they’ve last seen their parents speak to each other without breaking into a fight. Tonight was the first time they saw us together without having to plan a drop off and pick up in god knows how long.”

Hongjoong licks his lips, gripping the wheel as he emphasizes. “Seven years since they’ve gotten a goodnight hug and kiss from us at the same time in one place.”

You scoff, turning to face him properly this time. “I don’t know why you’re acting as though we can make this request of theirs come true Hongjoong. This is a big deal-”

“It is a big deal!” he exclaims, trying to get his point across. “I can see how badly our daughters want us to both be in their lives more, to acknowledge the fact that the other still exists after splitting apart.”

He sighs. “Us, not acknowledging each other’s existence at all is worse than if we had to see each other regularly.”

You bite your lip, getting angry. “So what Hongjoong? You’re saying you want to suddenly play family with them at the cottage?”

You shrug your shoulders. “Do you really think we can pretend to be normal parents to them without fighting like we are now? There’s a reason why our current schedules work. Don’t make me seem like the bad guy for not wanting to take them.” You glared, pointing a finger at him. His jaw locks. 

“You fully knew the lifestyle changes we would need to make as a couple when you signed those legal papers—”

“Well then did you also predict everything that happened after you brought me those papers?” He spits like venom, gaze hard as he clenches the wheel.

You blink your eyes at his words, pressing your knees together at his sudden attack. 

You don’t remember clearly if you even meant what you said at the time when you threw those papers at him seven years ago. But all you still know is that Hongjoong was just as stubborn as you were, making up his mind to sign them in the end regardless.

Looking in the rear view mirror, you muttered to him quietly. 

“Don’t raise your voice. The kids are sleeping.”

Their dad scoffs, muttering a sure, under his breath as he switches lanes. 

The kids were in fact, not sleeping, and very much awake. Eyes closed but ears wide, as they were listening in to the first real discussion their parents were having in so long. Or perhaps it was an argument?

At the right turn into his mother’s apartment’s underground parking lot, Hongjoong shuts off the engine, getting out of the car without another word and shutting the door in your face. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose, hear the back door open. 

You watch in the corner of your vision as his demeanor immediately changes, softly caressing Eunseo and Eunbyeol’s hair. 

“Hey girls, we’re here now. You gotta wake up.” He coos.

They yawn theatrically, pretending to stretch their arms. 

“So soon?” Eunbyeol mumbles.

A few feet ahead, you see your mother in law walking out from the elevators, a knit cardigan wrapped around her small frame. You smiled, getting out of the car and greeting her first. 

“We’ll leave Eunbyeol’s hockey gear with you for the night if that’s alright Mom-” 

Hongjoong’s words are cut off as the woman who birthed him walks straight past him, ignoring him and immediately taking you in her warm embrace, eyes forming crescent moons. 

“How are you my dear?” she asks, causing you to smile and hug your mother in law affectionately. “It’s been so long, I’ve missed you so much!”

Despite the break up between you and Hongjoong, you were thankful for one thing, and that was the fact that your relationship with Hongjoong’s family stayed strong, especially with Mrs. Kim.

“I’ve missed you too” you tell her genuinely. “I’ve been good, I’m just sorry for dropping them off so suddenly at your place,” You say, feeling apologetic for waking her up late into the night. 

“We had a bit of a situation,” you explain, watching as Hongjoong collects their things. 

She shakes her head, reassuring you. “Nonsense! Why would you be sorry for that.” she grins, turning her head at the car. “And where are my girls, may I ask?”

At the sound of her voice, Eunbyeol and Eunseo dash out from the back seat and into their grandmother's welcoming arms, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks.

Hongjoong is the only person that stands all alone, awkwardly holding the bouquet of flowers with heavy hockey gear and a duffle bag perched on his shoulder. 

“Oh, how I’ve missed my little squirrels!” she exclaims using their signature pet name and happily reuniting with her grandchildren. 

She turns her head, face falling at the sight of her son and lips pursing into a frown. 

“And where on earth have you been? Not giving me a call!” she snaps, slapping her son on his back. Eunbyeol laughs out loud while Eunseo tries to keep her giggles in. 

You hear your ex husband protest to her while you close the back seat door. 

“OW! I’ve been busy alright?” he mumbles, massaging his sore arm. 

Your mother in law takes both the twins hand’s on each side, nodding her head to you. 

“Leave all the kid’s stuff to Hongjoong, he’ll take care of it darling” she smiles sweetly, sending a glare to her son to take a hint and be more of a gentleman to you. She walks away with her smiling granddaughters, exchanging light-hearted giggles and excitement. “Bye, mom!” The twins wave back. 

Hongjoong cranes his head up, sighing at the ceiling before taking Eunseo’s piano bag that you were holding in your hand in one swift motion, walking reluctantly behind the three. 

“Stay here. I’ll drop them off.” he briskly walks away, leaving you stunned. 

Hongjoongs words from before can’t help but replay inside your head as you wait for him to come back down. 

Before you guessed it, it was already the ride back home, and the car was painfully silent once again. In reality, you were each thinking deeply to yourselves about the possibility of the cottage retreat. Could you really be a mom and dad together as a couple to your kids?

“Are you giving your plants enough water?” He brings you out of thought, the car slowing down as he turns onto your street. 

You look up, giving him a confused look. 

Hongjoong nods in direction, following his eyes to look at the measly, dying flower pot perched on the steps of your flat’s entrance as the car stopped to a halt. “You know, it’s really hard for plants to die when they’re outside.” He says in amazement at your shit gardening. 

You scowl at him, asking him when he became such a plant expert all of a sudden. 

He continues to poke fun at you, smirking when he undoes his seat belt. Hongjoong suddenly leans over to help you unbuckle your own, face dangerously close to yours as he lowers his voice. 

“Unless their owner just really sucks at taking care of them.” 

His eyes gaze into yours for a split second, feeling your face heat up from the proximity. You let out a tiny gasp for air when he leans back in his own seat. 

“Fuck off” you replied harshly. 

“You should give them some more care,” he suggests, ignoring your swearing. 

You don’t reply to his stupid comment, refusing to look at him as you get out of the car. 

“I can go in by myself” you press, adjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder. You didn’t think it was necessary to draw out your time with this man any further.

Hongjoong straightens his dress shirt as he moves to your side of the car, shoving his own car keys in his trousers as he locks your doors and hands over the keys. You take them hesitantly, watching as he rests against the car door, strong arms crossing against his chest. 

“Think about it at least.” he mutters to you. 

You look at him, eyes shutting softly when you realize he was still talking about the cottage getaway. Sighing his name is exasperation, you run a hand through your hair. 

“Hongjoong-”

“Would it kill you to spend a week with me and our daughters?” He scoffs as he asks you straight up, looking at you in a way that makes you hesitate to say your next words. You observed one hand come to shuffle with the silver lighter in his trouser pockets. 

You stayed silent for a moment, genuinely thinking back to your daughters and what this meant to them if you went. What this would mean for you two as well. 

Finally, you look up to him, returning his gaze.

“I need time.” 

He nods, face serious. “I understand.”

“Let me think about it.” You mumbled. 

And with that you turn around, walking up the steps to your front door. At the sight of your flowerpot, you quickly remember his comment and snatch it in your hands, slamming the door shut to Hongjoong as he finally lets a soft grin break out on his face. Letting his back come up from leaning against the door, Hongjoong nods his head, satisfied enough at that answer, as he walks silently down the road while opening his Uber app. 

At least you’d give it some thought. 

Okay, maybe now you’ve given it too much thought. 

Sipping your fifth glass of wine of the night, you’re sitting, back hunched over with your knees tucked into your chest on the breakfast table chair, zoning out as your best friend Sophie continues barking at you and your inconsistent commitment. 

“I don’t even understand why you’re considering going! Does the man realize what it takes to leave your own shop for a full week?” she fumes, adjusting her royal jelly sheet mask while cursing at your ex-husband for pressuring you into going to the family retreat. 

“Not everyone can just pack their bags and go swimming at the cottage, Jesus Christ” she rolls her eyes. 

“He didn’t pressure me,” you told her pouting. “He wants to do it for the kids” you mumbled looking down as you defended him. 

You invited your best friend Sophie over to your apartment that evening for your weekly slumber party, a time you each looked forward to dedicating a bottle of wine and chardonnay over some gossip, spilling all the uneventful drama in your lives. 

Perhaps you revealed too much drama to your best friend tonight. 

“I don’t think I would mind going, to be honest” you hiccup, words slurring. “I haven’t had a vacation in so long, Sophie, and the girls really want to go! I would feel bad for leaving them with nothing to do this summer.” confessing through the alcohol. 

Cheeks flushed, you sigh as you play with your silk robe mindlessly while Sophie shakes her head at you, one hand coming up to snap at you and bring you back to reality. 

“Hello? Earth to Ms. Divorcee?” She sighs, rolling her eyes in frustration. “You said you wanted to set boundaries with him! To cut the line straight and keep your distance so you could get over your feelings for him! Show him who’s boss!” 

“He said he’s willing to put his music projects on hold for us,” you muttered quietly, the thought making your heart weak as you smiled at the memory of Hongjoong teasing you about your flower pot. Your chest blossomed with warmth now. 

Sophie sighs, shaking her head as she thinks just how differently you were feeling four wine glasses ago.

“Listen, honey, I’m just warning you in advance” she sips the golden liquid in her glass before placing it on the table. 

“Take it from a girl who’s had three divorces. I mean look at me! I’m still somewhat young, I’ve got no kids, no responsibilities, filthily rich, and not once have I had to pay for my own divorce settlement fees!” 

You nod mindlessly, eyes blinking softly under the bright kitchen lights. 

“What you need is a provider, sweetheart,” she crooned, caressing your head. 

“A guy who won’t leave you stressed and unimpressed like Hongjoong does.”

You continue mindlessly nodding your head at her words, ears perking up when you hear small footsteps come down the stairs. 

“Hi mom, Hi aunt Sophie.” Eunbyeol greets, eyes glued to her iPad that Eunseo trails after from behind, whining how it was now her turn to play Super Mario.  

“Hi girls,” Sophie replies like the cool, hot aunt she is, eyes shut as she’s concentrating on giving herself a collarbone massage right now. 

“Hey sweetheart,” you mumbled, smiling at your daughters standing near the fridge getting a glass of water. 

“Say, did your dad tell you guys anything about the cottage?” You blurt out loud, avoiding the look that Sophie gives you. Eunbyeol looks up from the glowing screen, ears perking in interest. “No, not much, why?” 

Eunseo snatches the iPad from her twin, coming over to you. “Did Dad say we’re going?” She asks enthusiastically, eyes widening. Sophie is quick to assure them. 

“Now of course not girls, your mother here was just-”

“Oh fuck it, why not?” you say confidentially, shining a bright smile. “Let’s go to the cottage!” You exclaimed in drunk excitement, all three girls staring at you with their jaws hanging at your sudden profanity as well as your final decision. 

Oh, how dangerous the effects of a bottle of wine were. 

Eunseo and Eunbyeol immediately embrace each other in a passionate hug, squealing in excitement that their plan actually worked. You and Hongjoong were now both convinced. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to go as a family!” They cried in happiness. You giggled at their joy, reciprocating their enthusiasm.  

Sophie leans back in her seat defeated, shaking her head with pursed lips as she picks up the whole Chardonnay bottle and sips it. 

“Oh whatever. . . This isn’t my problem anyways.” 

When Hongjoong drops by the next morning to pick up Eunbyeol and Eunseo from your house for the weekend, he can’t lie but be a little heartbroken at the way his daughters ignore his kiss to them first thing. They instead, immediately shove the cottage advertising pamphlet in his face with victorious grins. 

“See! We told you mom would say yes!” 

“Say yes to what?” He pouts, avoiding the paper and obsessively trying to peck a kiss to each of his daughter's cheeks. The idea of going to the cottage almost slipped the busy man’s mind after almost a week of no news from you. 

“What’s so important that you guys don’t even say hi to me anymore?” he sulks.

Eunseo giggles, fighting back her laughter when her dad tries to tickle her with his kisses. 

“We’re going to the cottage!”

Hongjoong stills himself, leaning back to make sure he heard her correctly. 

“We’re what?”

Eunbyeol, taking after her mother, has a cheeky expression on her face as she places her hands on her hips and sasses her father. 

“Pack your bags and swimming shorts, daddy, we’re going on a family vacation!” 

In perfect timing, you manage to stumble out your front door, coffee mug in hand and mid-yawn when you realize Hongjoong is already staring at you in shock. 

“What?” you snap, still grumpy from your slight hangover. “You’ve never seen a woman wake up before?” You replied, asking your kids if they packed all their stuff. 

The twins watch as their dad stands up from his crouched position. 

“You’re going to go to the cottage?”

At Hongjoongs words you freeze, everything coming back to you all at once. The wine, the twins, the promises, it hits you like a moving truck. 

“Well…”

“No take backs mom! You said it yourself last night that you were excited to go to the cottage!” One of the twins pointed out. 

Hongjoong doesn’t take his eyes off of you. 

“I-I did say that, didn’t I?” You chuckled sheepishly, toes curling at the rookie mistake you made in parenting 101: saying yes when you should’ve said no. 

Your ex-husband quickly tells the kids to put their things in the trunk, promising he’ll be right with them after talking to you. As Hongjoong dashes up the stairs in his white polo golf shirt, you feel slightly exposed being in only your silk slip dress and robe. 

“I didn’t realize you’d be here so early” you mumbled, looking down at your toes. 

He ignores you. “So I’m guessing we’re going then?” He smirks, looking at you with an expression of undeniable cockiness and peaked interest. 

You shrug nonchalantly. “Let’s surround the focus of this trip towards the kids” you remind him, straightening your back.

Hongjoong nods, agreeing with you wholeheartedly. “Of course, that was my intention from the beginning,” he smiles. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, unnoticing his stare drop at your breasts perking up from the cool morning air. You jump in surprise as you hear the honking of the car. 

“Come on, love birds! We gotta go back to dad’s to get our swimming stuff!” Eunbyeol cackles, leaning from the backseat into the driver's seat window. Eunseo already begins journaling in her hello kitty note book, an organized list of what she’ll need to bring to the cottage.

Hongjoong looks back at his daughters, before looking back at you with a smile. 

“Let’s keep in touch about details, alright?”

You nod silently, gripping your mug. At the sound of your nextdoor neighbor coming out, Hongjoong contemplates for a moment before quickly leaning forward, shielding you from their view with his backside. Clearing his throat, Hongjoong nods his head to the inside of your house, leaning forward to whisper to you. 

“Think, um, you should get inside, it’s getting cold,” he mutters, his dimples faintly showing. You glare up at him, “I’m going to say goodbye to my own daughters”. Still clueless to what he was referring to. He grins, shrugging his shoulders before looking at you. 

“If you insist. Just thought you wouldn’t want your neighbor to see what I can see, would you?”

You gasp at his words, looking down at your chest to see what he means before wrapping your robe around you. You quickly waved goodbye to your girls before you shut the door in Hongjoong’s smug face. 

It’s now become the second time you’ve done that.

Thankfully, the next time you see Hongjoong you’re wearing a much more appropriate outfit. In a white cotton blouse and casual jean shorts, your effortlessly chic vacation outfit was the only highlight today, considering the day you had been internally dreading for so long was finally here. 

You tried to take deep breaths while scurrying all over your house and finishing some last minute packing. Reassuring yourself that a family getaway couldn’t kill you. 

Right?

Reservations at the cottage were made over the phone last week, booking a house with the perfect lake side view, access to the forest trail and close proximity to the offered activities. It would only be a seven day stay, both in your respective rooms, (you clearly emphasized you and Hongjoong had to have separate ones) while the twins would lodge together. You had no intention of interacting with your husband alone together on this trip, apart from the quote on quote, ‘family bonding times’ you promised your daughters. And yet why were you here sweating nervously like a sinner in church?

“What a hot lady!” Eunbyeol wolf-whistles at your outfit when she walks through your bedroom doors. You jump at the sudden entrance, realizing Hongjoong was already here to pick you up with the girls.

A pair of black designer sunglasses slightly too big for her sat perched on her nose. Eunbyeol smiles before jumping onto your bed of clothes. You already know Hongjoong must’ve spoiled her and her sister with those, buying them a pair each.

“C’mon Byeol, off the bed” you quipped, packing your toothbrush as she reluctantly slugged off the covers. 

Your suspicions of Hongjoong buying them designer items are correct when Eunseo walks in, classily perching her matching white ones on her head before chastising her sister's tasteless compliment. 

“Elegant. She’s Elegant, Byeol. You don’t just go around wolf-whistling at people.” she rolls her eyes. 

“You look very pretty by the way, mom”

You smiled, nevertheless pleased at both their compliments and thanking them before going back to doing a last minute check of your things. 

Sun cream, clothes, makeup bag, swimsuit…

At the thought of your swimsuit you immediately blush, thinking back to how Sophie forced you to borrow her yellow bikini that left very little to the imagination. Despite your protests that you wouldn’t be needing it, she insisted. 

Hongjoong is last to walk through your front doors, swinging his car keys around his index finger and calling to his three girls from the downstairs foyer of your apartment. The man is clearly excited for the trip, he can’t lie. 

“Come on ladies, we’re gonna miss the chance to swim in that lake if we don't leave soon!” 

Hongjoong is your typical dad, except for the fact that he does not mess with dad!fashion. The producer is dressed classily from top to bottom in a loose-fitting designer button up with a pair of reformed denim pants, his pearl earrings and gold piercings complementing his outfit perfectly. 

Kim Hongjoong didn't play when it came to fashion. Even as a father. 

“Coming!” You exclaimed, ushering your kids out of your bedroom and making your way down the stairs with your suitcase. Seeing that it would only be a week at the cottage, you tried to pack light, though you may have to reconsider that thought with the way you struggled to lift the case properly. 

“Need some help?”

A strong hand comes to help you, immediately inhaling the scent of Hongjoong’s cologne as he brushes his knuckles near yours. “Here, I’ve got it” he assures, making you step back and admire your undeniably fine husband. 

Ex-husband. You meant Ex-husband. Scratch out the fine as well. 

You watch from behind as he struts out the foyer, smiling and joking playfully with his twin daughters, carrying your luggage out the door with them. 

What was this trip doing to you?

Once you’re on route to the cottage resort and the GPS is set, the car is blissfully quiet, each and every one of you surprisingly at peace. Jittery excitement still lays deep in your daughters' minds as you overhear them talk about what they want to do first once they arrive. 

Hongjoong’s 2000s soft rock and ballad playlist is playing quietly throughout the speakers right now, relishing in the music as luscious, green trees flash by you from the passenger window. 

While Byeol and Eunseo distract each other on their own, Hongjoong turns to talk to you. 

“I’m not going to lie, it’s been forever since I’ve been on a road trip” he smiles.

You copy him, feeling good in the moment. “Same, I don’t remember the last time I went to one.” you confessed, thinking only of all the times you had in the past when you were a child and as a teenager. 

Even back to when you were a young college student, wide eyed and so innocent to the chaos of your first college retreat with Hongjoong. That was the summer you two began dating, and boy were you fools in love. You cautiously look to your husband driving, bringing up past memories.

“Do you remember that one college retreat we went on during second year?” 

The corners of Hongjoong’s lips are already grinning upwards, smiling as he reciprocates your expression. 

“Right, like I could forget that summer” he replies sarcastically, gripping the steering wheel. 

It’s an easy memory to digest. A time when you were both so young, filled with nothing but dreams and passionate love for one another. Love so deep, that you remember the nights you’d spend locked up with Hongjoong under the sweaty bed sheets inside your cabin, blissfully making love until the sun would rise and he would finally kiss you to sleep. Perhaps, it was that summer when you realized you were going to marry and be with Kim Hongjoong forever someday. 

Though it’s too bad, someday already passed. 

“Do you remember when Seonghwa got so drunk he ended up confessing to Jieun in front of all the girl’s sleeping cabins?” Hongjoong snickers, relishing in the embarrassing memory his friend always hates him for bringing up. You laugh out loud, remembering the memory. “Oh my god, yes!” You turned to face him, shaking your head. “In nothing but his underwear, right?” 

Hongjoong nodded, smiling with one hand on the steering wheel as he drove.

“Didn’t he end up jumping into the lake afterwards? With you having to go in and save him as well?” You share your laughter with one another, catching up on past memories as your twin daughters listened attentively in the back, reliving them with you together.

That's what makes the hour and half drive from the city into the wilderness feel so short, finally pulling into the graveled parking lot of the vast cottage resort. White suburban cottages lined along one another, a good amount of distance in between each for every family staying. 

As Hongjoong parked the car, the view outside was so glorious you had to hold your breath. Glistening clear blue waves in the lake reflect the bright sunshine from above. A light breeze is present today with the way the willow and oak trees swayed gently. 

“It’s beautiful” you gasped from as far as you got out of the car, stretching your upper body with eyes closed as you inhaled the fresh air. 

Hongjoong stills his movements, shutting the door before replying with his gaze caught at your backside.

“Yeah, it is” he smiles.

Both of you turn around at a loud voice coming from behind. “We’re gonna explore the campsites and souvenir shops first!” Eunbyeol shouts as she runs away with her sister's hand in hers, towards the wooden cabin that's settled further away. 

“What about lunch?” you call to them. 

“We’re not hungry!”

Hongjoong tells them to be safe, and to stick around nearby. You smirked, helping him unload the trunk as you told him. “They’ll be fine. They’re probably too excited to even think right now” you giggled, bumping shoulders with him. 

You feel the tension that was once so strong between you two fade slowly, walking up the wooden steps of your lodge and exchanging conversation with each other.

“Hey, I just want my babies to be safe” he admits, a grin on his face as he holds the cooler in his hands. You chuckle, shaking your head at his protectiveness. 

“Here it is!” he exclaims, setting the suitcases in the front foyer as he opens the door. “Lodge number 1117”

The two story cottage is larger than it appears from the outside, having a modern yet rustic interior that you and Hongjoong admired. It had everything you would need, from a well designed kitchen area to a cozy living room space.

“It’s perfect, the kids will love it” you beam, looking at the hanging hammock chair in the corner of the living room and the gray stone fireplace. It fit perfectly for your family. 

Hongjoong smiles, sunglasses perched on top of his head as he sets the luggage down near the kitchen. Walking up beside him, you help him unload the cooler and ice boxes first, settling into your new home for the next few days. 

“I’m guessing you still drink?” you ask, looking in his direction as you unloaded the case of beer you saw him bring from the trunk.

He gestured to the booze. “C’mon, it wouldn’t be a vacation without it, would it?” 

You wholeheartedly agreed, placing a few in the fridge before you shut it closed. 

“Hopefully, this time we won’t end up shit faced like we did back in college” you laugh, turning to face him. 

“I can already picture that time we got so drunk from that bottle of tequila my friend brought, we snuck out of the campsite and went to the forest and got lost.” you spoke, the memory a little foggy but nonetheless fresh in your mind. 

Hongjoong smiles, listening as you speak.  

“There wasn’t anything but trees and bushes in that forest!” You exclaimed, shaking your head. “What did we even do there?” 

Hongjoong replies nonchalantly, folding the cardboard box in his hands.

“I’m pretty sure we fucked.”

You momentarily freeze at his words, before letting out a soft awkward laugh, causing him to look up. 

“No we didn’t, Hongjoong” you immediately deny, not believing his words. But your brows began furrowing at the foggy memory, starting to realize you really couldn’t trust your alcohol tolerance, now as an adult and even back when you were a college student. Did you guys have sex? In a forest out of all places?

Hongjoong leans against the kitchen counter, across from you as he crosses his arms in front of his chest and smirks smugly. 

“Nope, I distinctly remember it” he recalls, taking a step closer so he was now in your space. 

“I held your hand in mind as we walked up that trail by the cliff. And gosh, were we horny that night, because I remember you complaining about all that dirt you got on your knees from giving me the greatest head i've ever experienced in my entire life-” 

Slapping your hands over his mouth to stop him from going on, you blushed as you glared at him. 

“Jesus christ,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before confessing.

“I get it, we fucked.”

Suddenly, you and Hongjoong break out into giggles like varsity sweethearts again at the story. Though embarrassed and cringing internally from the way you acted as young adults, it was nice to share them together now. At the proximity in which you’re standing in, you can't help but stare at each other softly. A hand wraps around your waist, making your breath hitch as he pulls you closer. 

“What are you doing?” you grin, watching him.

He looms over you, able to tell that something sits right at the tip of his tongue that he hesitantly decides to say. “I’m pretty sure,” he mutters, staring at your face and cautiously grazing the skin under your blouse. You feel your breathing speed up. 

“I also held you like this in my arms as you were leaning against that tree” his grip gentle and immediately transporting you back to the scenery that night. His sharp tone contrasts his touch. 

“Yknow, the one we fucked against?” he teases to you one more time.

The scent of burning campfire. A cold, midnight breeze. The feeling of the rough cedar tree against your back as Hongjoong thrusted inside you with every delirious snap of his hips, holding you close while he fucked you to oblivion with only the forest animals standing witness to your sinful actions. The film replays like a cheesy R-rated romance movie in your mind. 

“Did you, now?” You gulp, looking up at him as you adjust to the foreign feeling of his touch on your hips. 

“Yeah. I remember it all” he states, smirking down at you with an intense gaze.

The memory dies down when you catch yourself staring at his lips, arms finding their way around his neck as he dives down to whisper softly to you.

“Do you remember too?” He asks.

How he held you in his arms. How he whispered in your ear while you came around his cock, drool and traces of cum littering the corners of your mouth while Hongjoong didn’t care if you were stretching his flannel from how hard you were tugging at the material.

You nod. “I do,” you muttered, lashes fluttering as you felt as though your heart wouldn’t stop beating. “I remember you kissed me on the lips,” you confessed. 

Perhaps you wanted him to do it again right now. 

He looks in your eyes, searching for your approval that you desperately give, breath hitting each other's faces as he slowly leaned down to try and connect your lips. His chest is pressed against yours, and you begin to realize you haven’t shared the same breath like that in so long. You were so close to kissing right then and there.

If only you leaned in closer…

“We’re back!”

You push Hongjoong across the kitchen, shoving his hip painfully into the marble counter and ignoring his high-pitched groan of agony as you immediately look away to avoid suspicion, continuing to grab the beer from the icebox in front of you.

“Girls!” you exclaimed, voice wavering. 

Of course, Eunbyeol and Eunseo walk in with matching postcards and goodies from the souvenir shop in their hands, their sunglasses perched on their heads as their eyes lit up with excitement. They were still oblivious to the fact that they almost caught their parents about to make out in the kitchen.

“Dad, this place is amazing!” Eunbyeol deadpans, telling her father. “They even have jet skiing on the other side of the lake! We gotta go now!”

Hongjoong clutches his hip, pursing his lips as he hides his expression of pain and surprise. 

“Really? That's great sweetie”

Eunseo however, is quick to catch on.

“What were you guys doing?” she looks at you suspiciously. Her words hang in the air for a moment. 

“Were you guys about to kis-”

Hongjoong and you frantically scurry to find a plausible excuse, shuffling awkwardly. 

“I was helping your dad unload the cooler” 

“I was helping your mom get something out of her eye”

Both girls stare at you meekly. Eunbyeol scrunches her nose. “Huh?”

Plastering on a fake smile, you briskly leaped over the luggage nearby, ushering them upstairs before they had the chance to ask anymore questions.

“I think it’s time to unpack your things.” you watched their eyebrows quirk at the way you pushed them out the kitchen.

“We can do it on our own, mom! It’s really no big d-”

You clamp Eunbyeol’s mouth shut with your hand, blushing profusely as you walk away with them. 

Hongjoong stands there alone in the kitchen, rubbing his hip and wondering what the hell just almost happened.

The next few days, you and Hongjoong don’t discuss the incident between you two. Rather, the beginning of the trip after that event has become a painful performance trying your best to be eerily polite yet distant to each other in front of your children, as if that would make you forget the fact that you two almost kissed in the kitchen.

“Could you pass the sunscreen, honey?” Hongjoong would say awkwardly, turning his back to flash you a cheery smile on the lake deck as Eunbyeol and Eunseo watched you interact while floating in the cool, summer waters. 

You passed the bottle to your ex-husband while maintaining awkward distance. “Of course, darling!” 

“Thanks honey!”

“No problem sweetheart!”

This resulted in Eunbyeol and Eunseo looking at their parents in horror, the youngest twin muttering under her breath as they discussed an urgent change of plans.

“We have to get them to stop being weird.”

Apart from that, the ‘family bonding time’ promise to your daughters was maintained, and each day was an adventure for all of you in terms of what you would do together next. An accumulation of forest trekking, water-skiing and outdoors barbeques on the patio of your cottage made everyday feel more and more special for your girls, seeing how they relished in having both their parents with them at the same place and time. It became moments of peace and resolution that eventually became special for you and Hongjoong too. 

“I hope we stay here forever,” Eunseo blurted out one evening after a blissful day near the lakeshore, watching as the sun began to go down. She was busy licking the sticky sides of her melting ice cream cone in one hand, the other one held in yours. 

Hongjoong and Eunbyeol were a few feet ahead, laughing loudly and holding hands as they compared their fruit popsicles with one another to see whose was bigger. 

“You and Byeol would eventually get sick of going to the lake all the time” You smiled, the corners of your mouth turning up before her next words made the strings of your heart tug. 

“Sure, but at least you and dad could be together with us too.”

You watched as she ran up to her sister and dad, joining in on their fun as she began boasting that her ice cream was better than theirs. Hongjoong’s smile is the biggest you’ve ever seen it to be, looking down at his girls with a golden tan from the past few days spent outside, and hair slightly damp from swimming. 

Any person could tell the love in his eyes was as pure a father’s love for his girls could be. 

Her words stuck with you until that very night, where after dinner, board games, and much pacing back and forth in your own room before getting into bed, you decided to cautiously approach Hongjoong’s room on the opposite side of the second floor.

Bare feet padded across the wooden floors as you peeked through the sliver of the open door.

He's wearing an oversized sleep tee and blue pajama pants, getting in some nighttime reading before bed. His glasses are perched on his nose, intently reading his paperback novel. He looks as domestic as a husband gets. 

At the sound of your steps though, he sits up from his relaxed state on his bed, one arm that was supporting his head coming out as the other hand settles the book down on his abdomen. He looks surprised to see you. 

“Hi” he states, looking at you. 

“Hey”

Hongjoong’s expression immediately softened at your figure, watching as you shuffled awkwardly in front of him. The room is quiet. 

“Can I come in?”

“Of course,” He nods, setting his bookmark in the spine of the cover and turning his attention to you, offering you to take a seat on his linen covers. You see his polaroid camera with photos taken of Eunbyeol and Eunseo perched on a desk nearby. 

You don’t see the ones he secretly took of you, as those are in his drawers. 

“Don’t tell me you can’t sleep by yourself” he gently teases before watching as your smile doesn't reach the ends of your eyes. You wrap your silk robe closer to your body, feeling sort of vulnerable. 

“How do you like the resort so far?” He asks, watching as you played with your fingers absentmindedly. “Is the room okay?”

“It’s wonderful Hongjoong, better than I could ever have hoped for.” You spoke up, telling the truth.

It’s hard to arrange your thoughts in your head when it’s just the two of you in his room. The kids were already fast asleep. Now was your chance to just tell him how you felt. Why were you hesitating so much?

“Hey, look at me.” Hongjoong’s soft voice calls out to you, a protective hand coming out to caress the back of your head in habit. He can tell you want to say something, and the gesture makes you emotional, remembering how he always used to do that to ease your nerves when you were younger. 

“What’s wrong? Am I making things uncomfortable on the trip?” he worries about the boundaries you established with him at the beginning, watching as your lip begins to quiver and the emotions suddenly overcome you. 

“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” you sniffled, tears forming near the brim of your eyes as you looked up at the father of your children. 

Hongjoong’s eyes widened, shifting through the covers over to you. “Woah, hey, shh that’s alright I got you” he coos, immediately going into dad mode and embracing you in his arms, letting your head rest against his chest. 

The action is natural, no longer foreign or weird, and you silently thank him for leaving reassuring circles on your back. Husband or not, Hongjoong would always be your best friend first. You had forgotten how much you missed this comforting side to him.  

“Tell me what you’re sorry about” he states, chest tightening at your wet cheeks before he slowly raises your chin to look him in the eyes. 

“For being mean to you for so long” you sniffle, a weakened state of emotional guilt eating away at you. You let him watch you carefully.

“I’ve been thinking about how happy the girls have been during this trip. A-And it kills me that we’ve been fighting for the past seven years, and that they’ve grown up seeing such bad parts of ourselves, of my own self” you ramble, confessing how you felt. 

You look up. “They’re happy because we’re together Joong. Because we’re not fighting or avoiding each other like we used to do before.”

He watches as you look up at him with tears forming in your eyes. 

“You’re such a good dad. And I realized you deserve to hear that.”

At the sounds of more sniffles, Hongjoong finally speaks, smiling as he brushes stray hair from your face. 

“I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to be the mother of our children, I hope you know that”

His truthfulness throws you off guard.

“I’m sorry too” he sighs, letting you sit up straight and look him in the eyes properly. “I haven’t been the best partner either, baby. We were both mean to each other.” he says, brushing a tear away from your face.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve thrown a hair dryer at me once before as well” he attempts to make you laugh, affection blooming in his chest when he sees he succeeds, wiping your tears. 

“But I already knew how you felt, sweetheart. I always know” he smiles, eyes mirroring a weak ache in his heart.  

“Married or not, we were once friends. And now we’re family” His voice turns deep, strong and dependable like the father he’s become.

“We can start over” you tell him, smiling as he folds his hands over your palm. “We can always do better from now and going forward. For ourselves, and for Eunseo and Eunbyeol.” 

Hongjoong nods, hesitantly for a split second before he leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek, showing a gesture of affection that you longed for so long.

You shut your eyes, the kiss making your heart flutter. 

“Friends again?” He whispers, though silently wanting something more. 

You sighed, pulling him in closer to embrace in a hug. “Friends” you nodded while inhaling his comforting scent. 

The next morning, and for the rest of the remaining trip onwards, you and Hongjoong’s relationship dynamics did the equivalent of a 180 degree turn. 

It’s hard to believe you two really just wanted to be ‘friends’

Eunbyeol and Eunseo could tell by the way you talked to each other more, noticing you share more secret glances and fleeting touches that were innocent to the eye, but concealing a longing that you both tried to hide. You knew you couldn’t get carried away. You and Hongjoong were simply resolving a rough patch in your parenting. Not getting back together in a relationship. 

But after spending more time together while Eunbyeol and Eunseo became occupied on their own, it was hard keeping the interactions to a justified amount. Long walks in the forest, evenings spent cooking together, even cuddling together on the couch during family movie night. Thinking your kids were too busy watching the vintage Disney movie play on screen, when in fact, the real love story they were more invested in was happening right in front of their eyes, watching their parents falling in love again.

This led to the last event in their plan that they hoped would finally seal the deal. 

On Saturday night, the last night of your trip before you had to go back to the city, you and Hongjoong are surprised to find mini invitations left on your beds, scribbled in glitter pen and cursive handwriting reading out the following:

Gourmet Dinner Date for 2

Time: 7:30 pm

Location: Outdoor patio 

Dress code: Formal and Classy

You and your husband chuckled at the cards left on your beds, suddenly finding a twin each by your side and ushering you to get ready. 

“Do you and your sister even know how to cook dinner, Eunbyeol?” You questioned as your daughter rushed to push you into your walk-in closet, forcing you to get ready. 

She huffs, placing her hands on her hips looking offended. 

“At least my cooking skills don’t take after Dad’s, mom.” She mumbled, choosing your shoes for you. “Have some trust in a girl!”

Meanwhile, Hongjoong gets pampered by Eunseo in the other room, though in reality, her blunt critiques on her dads fashion are bruising his pride at the moment. 

“Dad, you have many normal clothes to wear. You have to chill with the ripped baggy jeans.” she demands, trudging through his closet to find something formal for him to wear. 

He begins to protest but his daughter shakes her head. “You’re supposed to look good for mom!” she huffs, searching on her own. At Eunseo’s words, the man starts to slightly worry, scratching the back of his head. 

“You and Byeol are gonna join too, right?”

She stops for a second, looking back to her father as she avoids the question and instead retorts back. 

“It’s just a date, Dad. Relax”

Back to what was happening in the other room at the end of the hallway, you huffed in frustration when you walked back into your closet after Byeol rejected another one of your outfits for the dinner date. 

“I have nothing else to wear, sweetie, these are all the clothes I have.” you came to terms with a hand coming to your forehead after having searched in despair. 

The ten year old shakes her head before pushing you out of the way and digging deep into your suitcase. She reveals a delicate piece of material you didn’t even realize you packed. 

“We got some help from Aunt Sophie and Uncle Hwa to pack you guys clothes that you could wear for a special occasion.” she wiggles her eyebrows, a smug grin on her face as you gap in shock. 

You inspect the dress, lips parting in disbelief as you feel the material. 

“I haven’t worn this since I was in college.” You uttered softly to yourself. 

At one longing look of the short dress, you shake your head, walking back into the closet to find something else. “I-I can’t wear this Byeol, what would your dad think?“ you asked nervously.

“Dad said he thinks your boobs looked hot in this dress so Aunt Sophie and I picked it specially” she looks up at you, proud of what she just said.  

You whip your head around, mouth hanging open in shock.

“Byeol! Where did you hear that from?” 

She sighs. “Dad had one too many drinks this one time and started talking about you guys back in college” she explained before shoving the infamous black dress in your hands. 

“Talked a lot about how pretty you were,” she draws out her words in a teasing voice. You curse your husband for his mistake.

You bite your lip as you stare down at the fabric in your hands. 

It was undeniable. You knew you looked amazing in this dress. You could testify from the amount of times Hongjoong ripped it off of you after countless night out’s filled with sexual tension and playful flirting. For god's sake, Eunbyeol and Eunseo could’ve almost had another sibling thanks to that dress.

“Fine.” you muttered bashfully, turning away as you walked into the closet to change. 

“But I’m just gonna try it on.”

Thirty minutes, one mental breakdown and too many outfit changes to count later, you walk down the stairs wearing the dress Eunbyeol had successfully persuaded you to wear. 

What do you know, the kid was right. Your boobs looked amazing in that dress. 

Not just your boobs, your whole body looked incredible with its strong curves and the beautiful fill it gave to the dress, making it slightly tighter than when you wore it as a twenty year old, but still all the more mature and sophisticated. You really did look hot.

Eunbyeol rushes down the stairs before you, catching up with her sister to inspect her job on their fathers preparation. 

“Well?” She says expectedly, looking at her dad. “Let’s take a look!”

He sports a simple yet timeless white collar dress shirt, the first few buttons undone as he wears a form fitting black dress-vest that accentuates his waist, dress pants paired to go along with it. Though simple, his silver rings pulled the outfit together, making him just as good looking and sophisticated as you were. 

Hongjoong’s back faces towards your front, watching as the man nervously shuffles his hands in his pockets.

“How do I look guys?” He gulps, adjusting his collar and sweeping his blond hair back. 

Eunseo rolls her eyes, a grin on her proud little face. “Do you even have to ask, dad?” She’s more than confident in the outfit she and Seonghwa coordinated together. 

He chuckles, shaking his head as he nervously tells them. 

“I want to look good for your mom, you know what I mean? She's a difficult woman to impress sometimes.”

“I’m difficult?” You tease, walking down the last few steps of the stairs. 

The man turns his head around, losing his breath at the sight of you standing there in front of him, wearing that dress that he hadn’t seen you wear for so long, looking breathtaking in every possible way. 

“Hi” you grinned softly, feeling sort of shy.

The way you fit in that dress made an insatiable hunger fuel inside Hongjoongs chest, eyes gazing at the way you strutted over in the black, lace covered material with your hair tied back and glossed lips turned upwards as your dimples showed. He breaks from his admiration when you quirk a brow at him, making the man almost fall to his knees and stutter uncontrollably. 

“I-I No I didn’t mean that-“

You giggle as you bravely take Hongjoongs hands in your own, shutting him up as you turn to your daughters standing in front of you, starstruck at your aura. 

“Outside, right?” you winked at them. 

“Right this way!” Eunseo enthusiastically leads you out back to the outdoor patio, a perfect view of the garden and lakeside coming into effect. Hongjoong slips his hand from yours, and slides it across your waist, pulling you into his side. 

“My parents are too cool” Eunbyeol sighs under her breath, watching from behind in awe.

Your ex-husband makes you swoon when he leans in to whisper softly. “You look breathtaking, sweetheart.” feeling an immense sense of pride at how lucky he was to make you the mother of his children. 

You blush, turning to him to whisper playfully back. 

“Not bad yourself.” 

You both look forward when you come to a stop at the patio steps, sheer amazement at the full preparation your daughters did for this event. Fairy lights were hung around the area, a table with two chairs on either side placed with a white table cloth and a bouquet of freshly hand picked flowers from the forest, battery powered candles that were sold at the souvenir shop lit in the middle and glowing softly. 

Eunbyeol dashes to the door when it rings, making you and Hongjoong furrow your brows. 

“Is someone here?” he asks, watching Eunseo fold a napkin over her arm like the pro waiter she was. The other one walks out, an oily fast food paper bag in her hands as she smiles. “Dinner is served!” 

“Turns out that diner 15 minutes away also delivers!” She chuckled, helping her sister plate the two cheeseburgers, fries, and vanilla and strawberry milkshakes. 

You and Hongjoong continue to watch in stunned amazement as the girls prepare the not exactly gourmet(?) but still impressive meal in front of you, their small hands working swiftly. 

“You guys prepared all of this?” You asked, getting a little emotional. They grin proudly, nodding their heads. “We called the place earlier and planned it all by ourselves!”

You pressed a kiss to each of their soft cheeks, thanking them both as Hongjoong did the same. 

“What did I do to get so lucky with my girls?” he smiles, ruffling their heads. 

“What about you guys?” You asked, watching as they slowly backed away to give you two some privacy. 

“Natalie and her mom invited us over for dinner and a sleepover tonight at her cottage,” Eunbyeol smiles. At the mention of their newly made friend that they had gotten close to over the week, Hongjoong looks at you then back at them. 

“What? But- ”

She cuts him off, rolling her eyes. “Her mom said it’s totally fine with her. She’s only two cottages down, and she’ll make sure we’re back in time again for tomorrow when we leave!” 

The two girls smile in excitement, though the both of you have your parental instincts kick in. 

“Please?” they begged, wanting you to let them go so that they could do this for you guys as much as they wanted to do it for themselves. “She’s waiting for us now!”

Hongjoong feels guilty. “C’mon, you guys should still join us!”

Eunseo immediately shakes her head, declining the offer. 

“Tonight is all about you guys. We don’t want to intrude” she chuckles, bumping shoulders with her sister who chips in.

“We’ll text you guys in the middle to let you know everything’s good of course” 

You and Hongjoong smile, a feeling of immense proudness overwhelming you from seeing your daughters act so grown up. There wasn’t anything else you felt grateful for more. 

“Thank you girls.” you muttered softly, watching as they flashed you a wink before hurrying out through the backyard door. 

“Don’t get all kissy in the backyard!” Eunbyeol teases, making cheesy smooching sounds with the back of her hand as her sister rolls her eyes and shoves her out. 

Before you know it, you’re left standing with just the sound of smooth jazz playing on the patio speakers and the buzzing of the summer cicadas. 

“She takes after you, I hope you know that” You told Hongjoong softly.  

He chuckles, “Not as much as you.” He gestures to the table. “Shall we?” 

And that’s how the next few hours seem to pass by without even realizing. 

You see, there was a reason why you fell in love with the man sitting in front of you, and you’re just beginning to remember it now. Being with Hongjoong felt as if the moment was everlasting, and you could testify that from the amount of laughter and deep conversation that was shared over dinner, bringing you to sit on that patio until the sun had set. Every so often you’d smile again at the thought of the twins preparing this all for you. 

“I don’t remember the last time I’ve been on a date like this” You blurted out after laughing about something, taking a sip of your strawberry milkshake through a straw. 

“Oh, so we’re going on dates now, are we?” Hongjoong grins, making you roll your eyes at him. 

You lean forward on the table cloth, watching as a glimmer passes through your husband’s eyes while he sits back in his chair, cocking his head to the side as he clears his voice. 

“But you’ve gone on dates after we split, haven’t you?” he asks, leaning forward in interest now, letting his chin rest on his palm. 

You shook your head slowly.

“Nope. Not since signing those papers�� you revealed. 

Hongjoong furrows his brows in surprise. “And why’s that?” 

You suddenly didn’t have an answer. “I-I don’t know, I just…” You began, watching how he looked at you with an unreadable expression. You smiled, looking down and suddenly feeling embarrassed. 

“I guess I was too focused on running the bridal shop, I couldn’t find the time to.” You use as a cliche excuse. 

“Bullshit” he retorts back immediately. 

“It’s true!” You protested, throwing a fry at him that he dodges, landing on his finished plate. 

“You always did say back when we were younger that you wanted to be a designer. And look at you now” he admires, letting the candle lights shine a youthful glow to your face. 

“You always said you wanted to become a music producer and write your own songs.” you reciprocated, smiling as you soaked in the presence of one another. “And here you are now.” 

You think for a moment before asking the same question. 

“How about you?” 

Hongjoong silently shakes his head as his answer, though silently thinking about something else. The music changes to some old Billy Joel song in the back. You don’t realize it, but Hongjoong smiles to himself when he realizes the girls added it to the playlist. Of course they had to, it was one of the songs you played at your wedding. 

“What were we thinking when we got married like that?” You asked out loud, looking at how far you’d both come. You definitely skipped some of the order of the stages of a normal relationship. 

“I mean, we had no money, no prospects. Hell, we didn’t even have a car, Hongjoong!” you realized.

Your husband laughs, sitting straight and letting some skin show through his unbuttoned collar. 

“We were young” he justifies. 

“Yeah, and stupid too,” you pointed out, feeling the summer breeze pass by. It felt good to sit here like this with him.

You wondered, could sitting here like this with Hongjoong be a regular thing? After this trip, would you be able to walk back into each other’s lives again like this? 

As both parents and lovers?

Hongjoong brings up something you wouldn’t have expected him to. 

“Do you remember when we first found out about Eunseo and Eunbyeol?” he questioned softly, looking at you. 

You blink, taken aback. Suddenly you’re back in your college dorm washroom, sobs wracking through your body as Hongjoong who had only just sent his first few mixtapes to recording stations and companies nearby, pulled you close into his chest, eyeing the two lines left on the counter while he caressed your back. Only twenty years old and figuring out what you wanted to do with your lives, you were suddenly stuck in a sudden situation that had made you feel like your dreams would have been given up on completely. 

“I do,” you told him, pulling yourself from the memory. 

“I remember because in that moment I felt like the whole world was caving in”. You laughed, though it wasn’t fully cheerful.

“I don’t regret it, though” Hongjoong replies after some thought, gazing at you with truth in his eyes. 

You shook your head. “Of course. Neither do I.” 

It was a blessing to have two beautiful daughters as the product of your love.

“I don’t regret you either.” Hongjoong states.

You lock gazes, unable to take your eyes off of his face. 

“I loved you when I first met you and I still loved you when we divorced,” he says all at once, making your breath hitch and heart waver. 

“Don’t say that.” you tell him, looking away and suddenly reminding yourself you’re still divorced from the man sitting in front of you. 

How could he still love you after all this time? How could you feel the same about him?

Hongjoong continues, shaking his head as he bites back the lodge in his throat and makes up his mind. He has to tell you. 

“Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.” 

Don’t do this to me you begged silently.

“I’ve hurt you just as much as you’ve hurt me.” He swallows, thinking back to the times you already knew he was referring to. The times where you fought to the point where there wasn’t even anything worth fighting for anymore. 

“But you have given me the greatest gifts of my life.” He smiles, holding his tears back.

“And for that I will always love you.”

You push your seat from the table, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and wanting to avoid him.

“I can’t do this anymore.” you dejected, walking away from the patio and from Hongjoong.

There wasn’t anything else you could fake anymore. You couldn’t bear to hear the man you once loved, possibly even still love, say these things like he had a dagger lodged in his heart. Didn’t he know he was only going to do the same to you?

Hongjoong is quick to catch up, holding onto your wrist and turning you around, that your back collides with the nearest wall inside, pressing your fronts together and closing the distance.

“Why do you always run away from me? From the possibility of us?” He exclaimed, voice breaking. His heart crushed at the way you turned your head, hot tears already clouding your vision. 

“Because ‘us’ can’t happen again, Hongjoong!” You cried, staring up at the man you once promised your life to.

“Don’t you get it? Us going on this trip isn’t a sign to get back together. What would we do seven years after breaking up?”

“We could do it” He states firmly, staring you down, both your chests heaving.

You bite your tears back again. “No we couldn’t, honey. We would be pretending to think we solved our marriage. What would we do about our daughters? After putting them through our constant fighting— ”

He slams his lips to your own, shutting you up as you painfully resist his touch. Your hands came up to push him away, but at the sudden gesture, you’re already giving in and sobbing softly, letting him hold you for just one last time. 

Your lips mold so perfectly, it almost hurts how much you missed this feeling. To have him slot his arms around your waist, pull you in close, and cherish you. You almost forgot this feeling. 

He pulls away softly, watching your lashes flutter, pleading to you for a chance as he leans closer, making your breath hitch. 

“We could be together as a family again,” he states firmly, your name leaving his lips in a desperate plea. “We never know if we try—”

You drown out his words, looking up with tears falling as you cut him off. 

“Seven years ago I gave you those papers to sign, thinking that you would’ve chased after me,” 

Hongjoong holds his breath, watching as the next words stumble from your mouth. 

“I realize now, how stupid I was to think that.”

“I didn’t know you wanted me to chase you”

Shoving his chest away while mustering the last of your strength you uttered. “Of course I wanted you to chase me.” You let go of his hands. “It’s too late either way”, walking away from the defeated man.

Hongjoong stands alone near the patio entrance, watching his tears fall to the wooden floorboards. Holding the ring he had kept hidden in his trouser pocket, he plays with it in his fingers, silently wishing he had given it to you sooner. 

It rains the next morning on your departure back to the city. Perfect, considering it reflects the sudden storm of utter depression that falls upon your family. Long gone are the cheerful giggles and longing stares that were shared between you and Hongjoong during the ride to the cottage. 

There was no room for that, not after last night.

Eunbyeol and Eunseo sat slumped in the backseat, rain hitting the roof of the car as they mindlessly played on their cell phones. Really, they were peeking from behind every so often and watching their parents sit in the front seat with tension so thick, you could’ve cut it with a knife. 

What had they done wrong? They planned the trip, the activities, the dinner— it was all perfect. And yet why were you still fighting with each other? 

These questions racked in their brains, baffled to have witnessed the sight of their parents refusing to talk to each other after walking back from their friends' sleepover. 

Eunbyeol and Eunseo felt as useful as matchmakers without a couple, feeling their efforts all gone down the drain. 

At the sudden ring of your cell phone, you pick up, answering at the voice of your assistant. 

“I’m driving back up right now”

Hongjoong continues focusing on the road, the occasional wiping of rain from the windshield wipers on the front window. 

“Yes. That’s okay, I'll take care of it.” You muttered, glancing at the rear view mirror for a moment. Your twin daughters immediately sigh, having an idea of what to expect when you say those familiar words. 

“Thanks for letting me know.” 

You hang up the phone, 

“One of us isn’t going with you, are we?” Eunseo asks, making you look back at her with a sigh. 

“No, you’re not” You confess, apologetic. ‘I’m sorry honey. I really am.”

You look back facing the front, swallowing as you told Hongjoong. 

“You’ll have to drop me off at the studio. Some things aren’t working out with the client so they need me to come in and take care of it.”

He nods, unphased as he continues to look straight. 

“Will you be fine with the girls?” You asked carefully, watching them as they were slumped in the backseat.

Hongjoong grips the wheel before turning to you. 

“I‘ll be fine. Don’t worry about it” sending a small smile, though it doesn’t fully reach his eyes. 

The twins thank god that at least neither of them had to choose to go back home with either parent. 

They would’ve hated that more. 

After barely being able to depart and say goodbye to your daughters in front of your studio, holding them close for a warm embrace and thanking them for an unforgettable weekend, Hongjoong drives off with his daughters, an empty feeling cascading his thoughts. He puts on a smile still, trying to cheer up his girls. 

“What do you want to do first when we go home? Want to unpack and then eat? We can eat and then unpack. Or we could- ”

Eunseo crosses her arms, having been fed up for far too long.

“Dad, you must be out of your mind.” 

Hongjoong stills, furrowing his brows and peeking at the first born who crosses her arms, holding an attitude. 

“Eunseo, what are you- ” 

“You’re telling me you and Mom just spent a whole entire week together at the cottage, had the best time of your lives since separating with one another, and now you’re just going to go back to not speaking or talking to each other again?”

Hongjoong blinks at his daughter’s sudden outburst, already making a turn into the driveway of his house.  

Eunbyeol now reciprocates her twin, looking at her dad as she slouches beside him, coming near the front seat area. 

“She’s got a point dad. Do you really just not love mom anymore?” She worries, looking up at him genuinely concerned. 

Hongjoong doesn’t know how to answer these sudden questions right now, stuttering to reply.

“Me and your mother are fine!” He lies, trying to reassure them. “That trip wasn’t just for us, it was also for you two to enjoy— ”

Eunseo asks the million dollar question. 

“If you still love Mom, why are you letting her go a second time?” 

With the engine turned off, it's gone silent. Two pairs of eyes staring at their father, awaiting his response. 

“Well? Are you going to chase after her or not?!” Eunbyeol groans, her fathers lack of response making her pull her hair. 

They were right. How could he have made the same stupid mistake twice?

Hongjoong struggles to put the keys back in the engine, telling them to put their seat belts back on. Their eyes begin to glow with hope.

“Do you girls mind staying at your uncle’s for a bit?” He asks hurriedly, punching into his cell phone to call his brother for a favor as he pulls out of the driveway. Eunbyeol squeals, hands clamping over her mouth as her sister speaks on behalf of them both. 

“Dad, if you don’t drop us off and get your butt over to mom’s right away, I’m gonna report you to child services.” she threatens, watching as he steps on the accelerator, heart pumping so fast as he smiles through the rear view mirror.

You sighed, holding up your cellphone to your ear. 

“Call me once she approves the design then,” you told your assistant through the receiver, one hand looking over the sheets of paper, highlighting the changes to the new blueprint. 

“Alright then, bye.” 

After hanging up the phone, you rubbed your temples, head pounding as you tucked the files back into the folder. 

The clock in your studio showed the hands about to reach seven pm. A few hours had already passed since coming back from your trip to the cottage, trying to forget everything by burying your focus into the new dress prints a client of yours requested, remodeling them after the original was rejected. 

Fingers worked away swiftly, comparing textiles and fabrics as you looked at the piles of papers and messy sticky notes in front of you. But yet the gears in your mind seemed to churn achingly slow, sighing as you repeatedly told yourself the same thing. 

Just focus on the dress, focus on the dress, focus on the dress.

Don’t think about him. 

The task is impossible. Your mind can’t help but slip back to what your relationship has become with Hongjoong, and what you were going to do now that those seven days were over. For so long you had deprived yourself from indulging in your love life, prioritizing taking care of Eunseo and Eunbyeol while juggling your job as a designer. Had you been doing it all wrong? 

Hongjoong’s words repeat in your head like a broken record player. 

I will always love you

Lies. That promise couldn’t be kept. Your divorce was a clear outcome of it. You and Hongjoong were two people not meant for one another. You were too different, all you would do is hurt one another, make life an unbearable living hell—

And yet you missed him. You missed Hongjoong so much. 

What was fucking keeping you from loving him? Was it your stubbornness? Was it really the fact that he didn’t chase after you? Or was it none of that and just your own self being stupid?

The front door of the studio opens, pulling you from your thoughts as you got back to the sketches. You called up from your desk as you worked quietly. 

“The studios closed for the- ”

Heavy breathing. The man who just walked in catches his breath from dashing out of his car and up the three flights of stairs, driving through almost an hour of traffic in pouring rain to be here in this moment with you.

“Hongjoong?”

He’s drenched, making a mess on the floor of the studio as the droplets fall softly one by one. 

Suddenly he's striding over to where you’re sitting in long steps before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss throws you off guard, the shock of his cold hands cradling your face makes you close the gap unknowingly. 

Linking your arms around his neck while kissing back passionately, you let your hands rest on his shoulders, pulling back for air as you panted heavily, catching your breaths and looking at each other with pure love and lust. 

“Why are you here?” you asked, feeling dumb because your heart already knew the answer. His hands wrap around your waist, desperate as if you would leave him again. 

But he’s just so fucking tired of that now. He just wants to love you now.

“I lost you once.” He breathes, eyes watering.

“I’m not going to lose you again”. 

Suddenly, everything that kept you from being with each other is thrown away. 

That hate, that fear, everything is gone because you realize you still needed each other. You’re still the same twenty year old couple standing in that dorm washroom, holding each other close and knowing it’ll be okay because at least you had each other. 

You grasp onto his damp shirt, pulling him down with such force that your lips meet again, taking charge as you finally allowed him to have you. 

“You’re a fucking idiot” you whined between kisses, curses escaping your lips when he softly bites the flesh of your neck to test the waters. “I hope you know that”

He agrees wholeheartedly, nodding as if he was already getting pussydrunk.

“I’m an idiot” he mumbles to himself, letting it escape his lips like a mantra. Well, he was stupid enough to only chase after you this late, so if his wife told him he was an idiot, then so he was.

“Let me prove how much I love you,” a hand comes to graze near the collar of your shirt. 

You gasped, watching as Hongjoong lifted you from your seat and rutted his hips against your core pathetically, your ass digging into the edge of the table.

“Here?” Your eyes widened, watching his expression turn dark. He presses kisses on your collarbone, making your hands grasp the wood for support. “Hongjoong wait,” you exhaled in a deep breath, heart beating against your chest.

But he doesn’t give a shit. He’s tired of waiting. 

“It’s been too fucking long” he protests, ripping your top off. You’re dizzy from how abruptly he’s stripping you, latching onto his shoulders for support as you wobble from him unzipping your jeans and pushing them down, exposing you in nothing but your underwear and bra. 

And like the good little whore you are, you immediately spread your legs, letting Hongjoong get a view of the embarrassingly wet patch leaking through your panties as he’s crouched down to let you step out of the denim near your ankles.

Holy fucking shit

You stand bashfully, toes curling from how exposed and vulnerable you were being the only one naked. 

“Please?” you asked nicely, letting your foot rest on his shoulder as your pussy was now on full display for him.

You don’t have time to even finish the last word before Hongjoong dives in, lapping at your soaking cunt and humming in pure ecstasy at the taste. The muffled vibrations make you throw your head back, tugging on his locks to shove his face further. 

Hongjoong’s hands press into your thighs that cage his head in, leaving a grip that you guarantee with littering the flesh with red splotchy bruises. Did you mind? Not at all.

When his tongue pokes at the gummy flesh of your walls, you let out a full moan, echoing throughout the studio as the air begins to smell like sex. 

“Right there, yes” you urged him, leg beginning to shake from how weak it was getting. 

He's so invested, you fear he might suffocate any longer if he doesn’t pull back for air. So you grasp his head, pushing him away from his meal while you both gasped lightly.

You watch him wipe his slick covered chin with the back of his hand, not breaking eye contact as he stares. 

“You were just begging to be fucked for all these years, weren’t you sweetheart?” He teases. 

Though you wanted him to lap at your juices until you came, you knew you needed to still feel his cock inside after so long. 

Your fingers played with the hem of your underwear, smiling back at your husband. 

“And you were just begging to get a taste of this pussy, weren’t you, Joong?” wiping that smug grin off his face.

”Lay down for me” he demands, getting up so that one hand finds its way to the back of your bra to unclasp it. The other clears half your desk covered in wedding dress blueprints and sketches, making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name. 

And people said romance was dead. 

When the bra slides off and your bare back hits your desk, you suddenly realize what Hongjoong’s intention was when he ordered you to do that. 

Soft mounds spill out as your breasts take their natural form, giving Hongjoong the perfect view of your tits. Pervert. 

He immediately latches his tongue on a nipple, taking his hand and playing with the other, twisting painfully. 

A cry escapes your lips, parting them open as you let him play with them as much as he wanted to. He smiles against the motherfuckers, knowing that shut you up perfectly. 

“Are you ready for me to fuck you now?”

“Please, Joong, I need you” you whined, submitting yourself to your husband. He already knows you’re in need of one last kiss, coming up to give his wife what she wants by slotting his lips against yours again, this time much harsher. 

“Tell me so that I treat you good, baby” he mumbles, pulling back and making you clench your thighs together. He undoes his shirt in the meantime, unbuckling his belt and pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek when you sobbed. 

“Fuck me, please” 

His fingers slide your panties to the side to press his aching tip to your wet core. 

“Like this?” He teases.

“Inside, Hongjoong” you emphasized, meaning what you said with the way your nails dug into a pile of papers nearby. Biting your lip from how sensitive and needy your cunt was. 

“I know, I know,” he murmured, smiling to himself after messing with you. 

“I just missed this pretty cunt” before in one strong thrust, Hongjoong’s bulging tip enters inside your walls, giving you a stretch you forgot how much you loved. You whined softly. 

“Shit” he curses, relishing how the buildup finally led to this moment. 

The man is ravenous, but he’s genuinely trying his best to ease the painful stretch as you adjust to his thickness, nipping your neck in a trail of hickeys and love bites posessively.

With every thrust he makes, you arch your back, pencils and papers shuffling near by you. 

“Fucking look at my wife” he admires proudly, watching the woman he loves bounce her tits at every thrust of his cock. 

“S’too much” you caved in, shaking your head at the stimulation. 

You claw at his arms, head turning to the side as your eyes roll back from pleasure. 

“I know, mama, I know” 

He grabs a tit in his left hand, the right one coming down to play with your clit, pressing slow circles near where you were connected. 

“Fuck, I missed these” He rasps, savouring the feeling of your soft flesh in his hand, making you throw your head back. 

“Missed how they looked when you were pregnant” he says, thinking of how ethereal you looked when you were knocked up with his kids. 

“God, at this point I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant again” Hongjoong grunts, snapping his hips deliriously back and forth. He envisions you round and full, fulfilling his inner fantasy. 

“Shut up.” You spat, breaking the mood as you bit your lip to suppress a moan. He almost laughs when you then crane your hips back to give him easier access to keep penetrating you. The desk shuffles. 

“Your mouth is saying one thing, honey, but your body is saying something else” 

After hearing his words, you suck him in further, both of you now getting close. 

“M’close. M’so close!” you whimpered, sitting up so that now Hongjoong could hold you in his arms, caging your body so his cock could stuff you better. 

Your mouth hangs open in silent bliss, hands scratching his back. You leaned into his ear, making the final chord inside him snap. 

“Make me cum, daddy” 

And just like that, you’re clenching around Hongjoong’s massive cock as a creamy white ring begins to form. Hot ropes fill you up inside, tangled in a sweaty mess as he purrs, caressing the back of your head again in habit. 

“So fucking good, sweetheart. You did so good for me”

The sounds of your breathing fill the studio, a pencil or two rolling quietly away on the ground from being shoved off the desk. He shakes his head when you try to pull your sweaty bodies away, hair sticking to your neck but feeling the way he refuses. 

“Just let me love you,” he mumbles into your shoulder, dick softening inside you. “Just for a moment.”

You’re too tired to say anything back, so you finally give in. 

Seven years passed by you two without even realizing how much you still loved each other. Though you wouldn’t be able to get that time back, for once, there was something that you and Hongjoong agreed upon. 

You had no intention of wasting that time any more. 

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄:

Months later, and it still takes everything in Eunbyeol and Eunseo hearts to not scream at the sight of their parents when they walk hand in hand, smiling happily in public as they pick their daughters up from the first day of school. 

The girls jump into their parent’s embrace, eying the two silver rings they now wore proudly together. 

“How was school, darlings?” Hongjoong asks, pressing a kiss to Eunseo and Eunbyeol. 

“It was fun! We watched a documentary about lovebirds” she smiled, looking back up. You laughed softly.

“Which reminded me to tell you,” she grins, watching as you, her sister, and father all looked at her. 

“I hope you know that getting you and dad back together was my plan from the start.” she confesses, smirking at Eunbyeol who scoffs, crossing her arms. 

“Nuh uh, this was my idea first!” 

Before her sister could yell at her twin, you jumped in. 

“Plan? What plan?” You asked quizzically, both you and Hongjoong standing there confused.

“To get you guys to fall back in love again, of course!” Eunseo smiles, both her and her sister now giggling softly together.  

“How am I just finding out that there was a plan?” Hongjoong mutters, scratching his neck in confusion. You turned to the two girls, stopping in your tracks on your way to the car

“When did you two even think of all this?” grinning in astonishment as you felt Hongjoong slot his hand and intertwine it with yours. It felt natural now.

“Yeah, I'm curious too” he states, leaning close and becoming intrigued.

Your daughters look at each other before smiling. 

“It’s a long story.”

But at last, time is something you finally now have as a reunited family of four, walking back to your car, holding hands with a twin on each side.

Listening carefully, as your daughters start from the very beginning.

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[a-tiny-thing]

Interminable || mark lee

No matter how much you claim you don’t want someone, or force your feelings away, you can never hide the truth

Genre- non idol au, friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, slow burn

paring- mark lee x fem!reader

Warnings- heavy angst, protected sex (mdni), mentions of alcohol, sex under the influence of alcohol (consensually), heartbreak, swearing, tw- mentions of death.

Mark is green and reader is blue/ white !

Word count- 12k

Playlist- kingston - faye webster / take a chance with me - niki / intro (end of the world) - ariana grande / a new kind of love - frou frou, imogen heap, guy sigsworth / a night to remember - beabadoobee, laufey / teddy bear - nct dream / bad religion - frank ocean / hurts me too - faye webster / yume utsutsu - lamp / promise - laufey / moonlight on the river - mac demarco / love - wave to earth / only - leehi

Authors note- omg hi, so this is one of my first angst, plz tell me what you think <3 and also… sry for any spelling or grammar errors lol.

July 11th, 9:00 am- beautiful stranger

"Hi! How can I help you today?"

Was the first thing he's ever said to you, a little anticlimactic yes, but you found yourself infatuated.

This was a smoothie shop that you were trying for the first time after moving, so you took some time browsing the menu, the nameless employee asking if you needed any help with anything here and there.

"Well what's your favorite thing?" You asked, looking at him deeply for the first time.

His eyes twinkled like no other, gleaming like the evening star in the night. All you could do was stare as he spoke, taking in all of his delicate features: the way his dark brown hair laid on his forehead, the way he was so expressive as he talked, oh wait, what was he talking about again?

"That's why it's my favorite drink and the large is simply better, sorry I didn't mean to talk your head off." He giggled.

"I'll take that." You grinned softly with him, eyes lighting up as he smiled brightly.

"In a large right?"

"Mhm!"

"Great! One large watermelon smoothie for you, that’ll be 7 dollars."

Your face dropped as he punched your order in on the register. You fucking hate watermelon smoothies, the actual fruit is ok, but the texture of the smoothie you can't do it, like at all.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, looking up at you with concerning eyes.

"Yea, all good!" You forcefully smiled, pulling out your card to pay.

“All set, I’ll get that ready for you asap!” He smiled, handing back your card.

You found somewhere to sit, making yourself comfortable as you scrolled on your phone, distracted by images of his smile popping up in your head. The smoothie shop was quiet, peaceful really, you being the only customer there.

“Here you go ma’am.” You heard from beside you, knocking you out of your thoughts.

“Oh thank you, you really didn’t have to bring it to me though.” You grinned, grabbing the smoothie from him.

“No problem really, there’s no one here anyways.” He smiled back, nodding reassuringly before turning away.

“Wait!” You interrupted, tapping the side of your drink nervously.

“What’s up?” He asked. His stare made you nervous, eyes so pure it made you want to melt on the spot from looking for one second.

“I was just wondering if um, if I could have your number? You know, I’m just new to the city and I would love some people to talk to.” You asked.

Your voice was so shaky and filled with anxiety it was so easy to read your nervousness, but he didn’t mind it, he found it somewhat cute actually.

“Yes, I would love to give you my number. May I see your phone?” You nodded persistently, a small smile on your face from the relief and the excitement, handing him your phone.

“What’s your name?” He asked, dialing the number in your call pad.

“It’s Y/n, what about yours?” You said, a smile on your face as he gave the phone back.

“It’s Mark, nice to meet you Y/n.” He stuck out his hand.

His voice, his eye contact, his manners, everything about him made you blush like a little teenager in love with your high school sweetheart, and you had only exchanged a few words.

“Nice to meet you too.” You smiled, your hand meeting with his soft hand, shaking gently and slowly, his eyes locked with yours.

“Well I have to get back behind my station, I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” He said as you removed your hand from his, nodding gently, waving as he walked back behind the counter.

You decided to sit there, the vile large smoothie in front of you tasting disgustingly good now knowing who made it. You drunk awfully slow, not just because of the eye candy that worked in front of you, glancing at you and smiling on occasion, but because how the smoothie dreadfully slithered down your throat, holding in a gag every swallow, but you finished it, every last drop. God how a pretty smile could make you do anything, you hated it, but here you were.

You got up from your chair, Mark noticing you, interrupting you before you collected your trash: “Oh, I got it!”

You turned to him smiling as he quickly walked over, collecting your trash.

“Thank you Mark, I’ll see you later.”

“You’re welcome Y/n!” He beamed as you walked out the smoothie shop

You had gained three things leaving that shop: a bright smile on your face from happiness, a bittersweet hatred for large watermelon smoothies, and a new, great person in your life.

July 11th, 10:53 pm- more than words

It had been a few hours since your first encounter with Mark, you trying to get him off your mind after the blue message you sent earlier never delivered.

You laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling as your hopes got shot down. Your phone went off beside you, but you just ignored it, trying to sulk in your feelings.

You soon got bored though so you decided to take a peek at your lock screen, jumping up as a familiar unknown number appeared in your Notification Center.

Hi y/n, don’t know if my number is saved yet, but it’s Mark from the smoothie shop.

You lied on your stomach, face lighting up as you grabbed your phone, instantly opening the message.

Oh hey, how was work lol?

It was good, other than the fact I left my phone at home, and dead… most boring double shift ever lol. How was your day after you left?

It was good, just went home and watched a movie with my roommate.

Oh cool. You said you were from a different city right?

Oh yea, actually out of the state!

Oh that’s cool, but why here. ^.^?

Just trying to explore more places, I like this place so far.

Ohh nice. Well I hope I have the pleasure of showing you around the city and making you love it :) How’d you like the smoothie?

I might take you up on that haha ;) and omg it was so delicious. Very refreshing to have after my morning runs. You’ll be seeing me a lot more in the mornings lmao.

Oh awesome, I basically work every morning so it’ll be a pleasure seeing you and making my morning a tad bit better.

You sprung up with a smile on your face, running around your room hectically. Did he really mean he what said, did you make his morning better? Your mind started flooding with a million thoughts, calming as you settled down, realizing that you never texted back. You grabbed your phone again, the message still opened as you started to text back.

Lol, well I guess I'll see you tmr then, hope to brighten up your day :)

You responded, sitting waiting for a response, 5 minutes passing, then 10, and nothing. You figured he might’ve just went to sleep, he did say he had a double shift, but you couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow and the anticipation was eating you up inside all night.

July 12th, 9:13 am - it's a date! i think...

You were on your run, the smoothie shop on your mind the whole entire way.

Finally, you were there, Mark cleaning the counters, eyes lighting up as you walked through the doors.

"Good morning!" He excitedly said.

"Good morning!" You said in response, a bright smile on your face as you made your way to the register to order.

"Wait I made something for you." He said, grabbing the most despise-able , yet refreshingly large watermelon smoothie. You felt your eye twitch at the sight.

"You shouldn't have." You smiled, not forcefully, but you felt a hint of pain behind it.

"Ah, it's the least I could do." He said, handing you the drink , wiping the condensation of the cup on his white apron.

You didn't think you could gobble down another one of these, you almost died at the thought, but there you were, sitting down at the same table you were at yesterday, drinking the smoothie painfully slow.

"So like, have you been anywhere around here yet?" You turned to him as he finished cleaning the counters. "I've only been to like a few food places, but that's all." You answered.

“Well, I’m off next Wednesday. If you’re not busy then I can take you to like my favorite park?”

Your face lit up, did he like just ask you out on a date?

“Yes, I would love to, just text me what time.” You smiled.

“Yea for sure!”

For an hour the conversation kept on flowing, you two chatting it up while he worked, unfinished conversations floating in the air when other customers came into the shop pausing the long talks.

“Mark I’m so sorry to cut this short, but I have to get to my online class so I’ll see you later.” You smiled, a little sad because you felt like you could’ve stayed and talked to him for hours.

“No worries, I’ll text you later about plans. Have a good rest of your day Y/n!”

“You too Mark!” You said, throwing the finished cup away.

On your walk home all you could think about was Mark, yes you only knew him for like 2 days, but his impression had left a stamp on your heart. He would definitely be someone you would be interested in having a relationship with, and he seemed like he thought of you in the same manor.

While walking home, your phone vibration went off, Marks name appearing on the lock-screen.

Hey Y/n know we just talked lol, but I’m thinking maybe like 12:00pm next Wednesday? How does that sound?

You opened the text, a smile on your face as you typed quickly.

Hey Mark, sorry but I have my online class, but I can do 1pm if that’s ok?

Oh yea, that works for me, I can come to your house and we can walk to the park? That sound ok?

Yea that’s perfect!

Great, well then it’s a date! :p

It’s a date lol

It’s a date!

July 19th, 12:55 pm - are you falling in love?

You were panicking you and your roommate running around trying to find your favorite perfume that decided to get lost at a time like this.

Hey! I’m outside, just come out whenever you’re ready I’ll be waiting :)

Fuck, you didn’t want him to just sit out there.

“I FOUND IT I FOUND IT.” Your roommate screamed, throwing you your perfume.

“Thank you you’re the best.” You grinned, rushingly spraying the perfume on your body.

“Ok I’m going now.” You said, grabbing your purse and slipping on your sneakers at the door. You rushed out the door, rushing downstairs your eyes scanning the outside, stopping on a familiar figure wearing a T-shirt, some blue jeans, and a small tote bag.

“Mark!” You shouted, causing him to turn around. Your eyes meeting his face then the two large smoothies in his hand.

You tried to keep a smile on your face, but it seemed like the watermelon smoothies had faces of their own looking at you with snarky expressions.

“Y/n!” He smiled, jogging over to you.

“Were you at the wrong complex?” You giggled, an awkward smile painting his face as he nodded.

“Maybe… oh here I got you something.” He said laughing, handing you the dreadful smoothie.

“Oh thank you.” You smiled.

“Wow my first time seeing you out of your workout clothes, I think I like these better. Not that I don’t like how you look in your workout clothes, you look amazing in your workout clothes, but I’m just, you look good now too.”

“Thank you Mark, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you without your uniform Mr. Smoothie King. You look good too.” You giggled as he blushed.

“Ah I try my best, I guess we should walk to the park now.”

“After you.”

You guys walked to the park, which happened to only be 5 minutes away, sitting on a bench.

“I don’t know if you’re gonna like it, I should’ve asked, but I got you a ham sandwich.” You smiled taking the sandwich from him.

“I love it thank you.” You said, removing the sandwich out of the packet and taking a big bite.

You two sat on the bench for a while talking each other’s heads off, a smile on both of your faces as you chatted and laughed together for a few hours, the time passing by so fast.

“I’m starving, do you wanna grab dinner?” He said.

“Well, I mean my place is close by we can just go there and cook something really quick.”

“Oh, I would love that.” He smiled.

“Ok let me just text my roommate to make sure.” He nodded as you pulled out your phone, your roommate responding almost immediately saying you could go ahead and she was in her room anyways.

“Ok she said she’s fine we can go!” You said, standing up and grabbing his hand, pulling him up to stand with you.

For any other man, you would never let them go into your apartment this early, but you just felt so different about him, like you would trust anything he says. I guess that’s not a good thing, but for fucks sake ever since you’ve met him you’ve seen him almost everyday, and he always makes it a point to text you throughout the day and after work so you felt like at that point, you had known him long enough to trust him.

You had made it to your house, opening the door and removing your shoes, prompting him to do the same. You sat your things down near the dining table rolling up your sleeves and heading to the kitchen, and he followed right behind you.

“I was just gonna make spaghetti tonight, do you want?” You asked, getting out your pot and pans, setting them on the stove.

“I’d want anything you cook.” He laughed, a small grin appearing on your face as he stood beside you. In past conversations it has come up that you did love cooking and actually had a bachelors in culinary arts, associates in education, hence the online cooking classes you taught, so it wasn’t strange to make a comment like that, it was actually quite flattering.

“Here can you make the sausages?” You asked, handing him the already prepped meat, Mark grabbing the bowl pouring it into the pan almost immediately, causing a loud sizzling sound to erupt in the kitchen.

“MARK!?” You turned, laughing as he backed away from the pan, looking at you like a toddler getting scolded by their parent.

“Uh oh.” He said, a smile appearing on his face before you handed him a box of noodles, signaling him to cook them instead. You two stood beside each other, talking as you watched the food.

“Mark taste this.” You said, grabbing a clean spoon and scooping some of the homemade tomato sauce you made on it, holding it up to his mouth.

“Yo, this honestly may be the best spaghetti sauce I’ve ever tasted.”

You smiled, setting down the spoon, pouring the rest of the sauce with the sausages.

“Thank you.”

You finally finished cooking, plating your beautiful creation together.

“Let’s watch a movie in the living room while we eat.” You suggested, him following behind you as you took a place on the couch.

“What should we watch?” You asked.

“ What about La La Land?” He suggested.

“Stop that movie makes me cry.” You pouted playfully, a grin painting his face.

“Well if you really don’t want to then we can watch something funny, but I’ll be here to wipe your tears just saying.” He shrugged, causing you to smile, looking down, then back up at him.

“Fine.” You said, causing him to take a happy sigh of relief.

You turned on the movie, both of you guys eating while making small comments every now and then. Fortunately, you didn’t cry, but he was your shoulder to lie on during the movie, and unfortunately it was time for him to go home.

“Are you sure you can walk home by yourself, it’s dark out now?” You asked concerned, walking him to the door.

“Yes I’m good, you only stay like 10 minutes walking distance from me, I’ll send you my location if you’re that scared.”

“Ok fine” You said dragging out your words, trying to be serious, but all you could do was melt, it seemed like everything he did, everything he said was so cute and made you smile.

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” He questioned, looking at you from outside the door frame.

“Yeah, 9:00am like always!”

“Ok, bye Y/n.” He smiled, waving before turning away.

“Bye Mark.” You shut the door, turning away.

You decided to clean up before knocking on your roommates door.

“He’s gone.” You said before walking into your room, her busting in shortly after, a smile on her face.

“Girl.” She said, bouncing on your bed with a mischievous smile.

“You heard everything didn’t you?” You asked.

“I heard enough, and girl he sounds so fucking romantic I thought I was listening to a romcom.

“Ughh tell me about it, he’s so dreamy.” You smiled, face lighting up as you thought about the string of events that happened that day, your phone vibrating before your roommate could respond.

“Omg shut up he just texted me now.” You looked at her with sparkling eyes.

“What’d he say?”

➶︎ mark<3 started sharing location with you.

Hey, just wanted to text and lyk that I had such a fun time, and we should definitely do this again :) have a great night and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.

You looked at your roommate, a smile painted so brightly on your face it hurt your cheeks.

“Girl he fucking wants you oh my god.”

“He fucking wants me!” You screamed, a bright smile on your face as you ran all over your room.

“Text back text back.” Your roommate said.

I had a great time too, thank you for showing me the park <333. Have a great night mark, see you tmr!

You and your roommate just sat talking, you really seeing how deep you were in your feelings after practically bragging to her about him. You just hope he was in as deep as you.

August 2nd, 10:35 am - surprise!

You woke up, excited to get the day started, you were even too excited to go on your morning run, putting on a simple outfit just to run errands, your first one obviously the smoothie shop.

“Happy birthday Mark!!!” You ran inside, a big smile on your face as you made your way to him. He looked up surprised, cleaning the tables, setting down his washcloth as you pulled him into a hug.

“You remembered my birthday, I thought you weren’t coming today?” He smiled as he went behind the counter, going to the register before you shook your head.

“Mark, I’m not ordering anything… but I did come to ask you for a favor.” He looked at you with questioning eyes, not responding, waiting for your favor.

“Well, my uh drawer is jammed and I really need what’s in it like tonight, my roommate isn’t there so I could use your help when you get off?”

“Oh yeah sure, I’ll head over there when I get off.” He said, a small grin on his face.

“Thanks Markie you’re the best! See you at 5. Happy birthday again!”

“Thanks.” He mumbled, going to clean again as you left. 

It’s go time.

Hey I’m otw, might be there at like 5:30 or 5:45 because I’m starving, so I’m gonna stop to get some food.

No Mark, I really need this drawer unjammed, can you plz come right away? You can get food after. plzzzzzzz :(

Alright alright, I’ll come straight there.

Yayyy!

After a few minutes you finally heard a knock on the door. You got up excitedly, making sure everything looked good before opening the door, blocking the view of the living room.

“Ok, let’s see what’s wrong with this drawer.” He said.

You let him in, a big smile on your face as he walked, eyes in shock as he looked at the decorated living room, along with the dinner and cake sitting on the dining room table.

“Surprise!”  You smiled seeing his eyes light up, looking at you, then the decorations, and back at you again.

“Yo… you really… omg I don’t even know what to say. Thank you bro oh my god no one has like ever done anything for me like this before. Thank you Y/n, you’re like the best.”

“You’re welcome Mark and Happy birthday again. Now you said you were starving so let’s eat!”

You both ate, resting on the couch after the delicious homemade chicken and rice, and cookies and cream ice cream cake.

“Do you wanna watch a movie now?” He asked.

“If you want to then we will birthday boy, but I have something for you first.” You said, pulling out a small blue gift bag.

First he pulled out the card, opening it to see a message in bright red ink, reading it in his head.

Dear Mark, I hope you have the most wonderful birthday and I’m very grateful that I could spend it with you. I hope we can spend more and more birthdays together and I want to say that I’m very grateful that I met you! 

- With love Y/n :)

He looked up at you, a smile on his face as he pulled you into a hug. “Thank you so much Y/n.” 

He pulled the other gift out the bag, jumping up out of the seat as he saw what it was.

“Y/N YOU GOT ME A LIMITED EDITION SPIDER-MAN COMIC BOOK?” His smile was so wide and full, you felt like you could climb it.

“Yo Y/n… I’m actually, oh my fucking god I… I honestly could kiss you right now oh my goodness. Thank you.” He squealed, your eyes sparkling as you looked at him.

“You’re welcome Mark. I guess we should watch Spider-Man now huh?” You giggled, pulling out the extra cushions on the couch to make more room so you both could lay down. 

You both got comfortable, watching the movie, your head on his shoulder as you both laid under the blanket. I guess you could say that you both got a little too comfortable, passing out before the movie was even over.

You woke up, unsure of what even happened and how you even got here in the first place. Mark was no where to be found, but a notification on your phone let you know his whereabouts. 

Hey, sorry to leave without saying goodbye, but you were like sleeping beauty lol. I had work and I’m for certain you’re not coming tdy so I’ll just swing by later on when I get off. Oh, and thank you so much again. I really appreciate you :D

Oh no worries, I’ll see you later, and no problem! 

You set your phone down, you couldn’t even believe how far you have gotten with him.

Seriously, your first sleepover with him, cuddled up at that. And of course you didn’t let that comment about kissing you slide, it was pretty much on your mind all night, and the moment kept repeating itself in your head, driving you almost crazy. That’s what you want more than anything, just a kiss, one kiss.

You were certain that you were almost there, but of course you didn’t want to rush things and you liked the pace of this relationship so far so I guess it is what it is right now… but it should come soon, hopefully it comes soon. 

October 27th, 9:08 am- i think im in love.

Today was like any other day, going on your morning run, then stopping by your absolute favorite place.

"Good morning Y/n!" Mark said, smiling as he acknowledged you, sticking his head back under the counter.

"Good morning Mark!" You said, walking to the register.

"I'm a little busy right now Y/n, do you mind just waiting at your table so I can finish this?" He asked.

"Sure." You grinned, going to your normal seat, scrolling on your phone as you waited for Mark. You looked to your side, noticing him holding a large mango smoothie with a birthday candle in the cap, your eyes lighting up as you realized what was happening.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dearest Y/n, happy birthday to you!" He sung, bringing the smoothie over to you, his cheekbones defined as he smiled.

"You remembered?" You laughed, blowing out the candle.

"How could I forget? So, I hope you're not busy tonight because I want to do something for you at my apartment." He answered.

"Perhaps I could swing by, I'd have to check my schedule." You said sarcastically, a smirk on your face as your cheeks went hot.

"Well, stop by at 7pm if you're able to Ms. Hollywood."

"I'll see what I can do." You rolled your eyes playfully, a smile on his face as he made his way back to the smoothie counter. 

You thought about what he had planned all day. Doing random task to try to take your mind off of it, daydreaming about what it would be, what it would look like, goodness 7pm couldn't get here any quicker.

Finally it arrived, the time you anticipated for all day. You knocked on his door, waiting for a few seconds before you heard the door handle rattling, him sitting awkwardly in the door frame after he opened it. You two stared at each other for a second in silence, an awkward smile on your face as you stared at him.

“Hey.” He coughed.

“Hey, it’s cold, can I come in?” You grinned, an awkward laugh sounding from him as he let you in, shutting the door behind you.

“Surprise!” He mumbled as you stood quietly, eyes twinkling as you took in all the decorations.

The first thing you saw was a big projector screen in the living room with your favorite show ‘kitchen nightmares’ paused. Your eyes slowly observed the room to see sugar cookies and decorative frosting on the coffee table, a large box with a bow sitting next to it. You were quiet, breathless really, couldn’t even find the words to say, just staring blankly.

“Do you like it, I know it’s not much, but-”

“It’s perfect.” You interrupted, looking at him with the most glistening eyes.

He smiled condescendingly, guiding you to the dinner that was on the dining table, the homemade chicken pasta, which happened to be your favorite food.

“Mark oh my goodness.” You said, taking a seat while he grabbed some drinks from the fridge.

“Yeah, once you told me that you taught how to make it on your course, I just bought the course and learned how to perfect it.” Your eyes widened as you turned to him.

“That’s like a $150 course Mark, I could’ve just taught you.”

“Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, would it?” He said, sitting down across from you looking at you with a smug smile.

“Plus, you’ve helped me learn how to cook too, I’ve saved so much money cooking at home.”

You nodded, taking a bite out of the food he made, your eyes widening as you grinned.

“You’re good at it too. This is delicious Mark.”

“Ah thank you man, but I learned it from you.” 

You guys finished eating, and started decorating the cookies together, the show playing in the background, but Mark rushed you two, hesitant about you opening up your gift.

“Fine, I’ll open it.” You said, grabbing the card off the box, opening it, a nice purple hand written note on the card. You read it slowly, taking in every word.

Dear Y/n, there’s so much I want to say, but I don’t think words could explain it, and I know I’m probably harassing you about this present right now aren’t I haha? But it’s only because I want to show how much I care about you. Im so glad that we met and I hope you have the best birthday and many more after that.

- Love Mark

“Aw thank you Mark.” You said, pulling him into a hug before you grabbed the box, opening it slowly. He sat there a huge smile on his face, breathing deeply, looking at you with anticipated eyes, his leg bouncing as your eyes widened.

“MARK NO YOU DIDNT, SHUT THE FUCK UP.” You screamed, pulling the pot and pan set out of the box, looking up at him, mouth wide as you looked back at the box.

“Mark this set goes for like 400 dollars- Mark I can’t- Mark how did you- nobody has done anything like this for me before.” You spoke, each sentence shortening with hiccups as your eyes started tearing up. 

“It didn’t take me long to save up for, and it’s the least I could do for messing up one of your pans.” He said.

“The most you should’ve done is get a cheaper pan.” You wiped your tears with your hands, looking at the box again wondering it was all just a dream.

“The amount of times you’ve forced me to binge Hell’s Kitchen with you, you really thought I wasn’t gonna get you your favorite chefs pots and pans set that you talk about all the time?”

“No.” You snuffled, vision blurry.

“Well you deserve it Y/n, happy birthday!” He smiled brightly.

“Thank you so much Mark.” You smiled, blinking quickly trying to stop your tears, pulling him into a hug. 

“You’re welcome Y/n.”

You didn’t know what love felt like. Always used your whole life, taken for granted. Doing everything yourself with no help, no one to call on, but now you knew, you knew it for sure, you were in love.

February 14th, 9:10 am- a night to remember.

After complaining to Mark about how you've never had a valentines, he suggested that he'd be it this year, and of course you agreed. He told you not to stop by the smoothie shop, or even go on your run today, but to stay and pamper yourself before your going out later the night.

You better not be up running right now.

I was sleep actually before your loud notification woke me up -.-

Oh sorry... go back to sleep •.•

You giggled at the message, obviously you were already up, you were too excited not to be. He said that he planned to take you to a fancy restaurant, then just to go back to his apartment and bake cookies, watch movies, little things like that, but no matter what you do, no matter how cheap, you still were so excited. This was your first Valentine, and your biggest crush. 

The time passed fairly quickly as you prepped yourself for what you thought was going to be the best night of your life. You slipped on your red dress and black heels, soon hearing a knock at your door.

Excitedly you rushed to the door, opening it to see Mark in a white button down shirt and black slacks— and god his scent hit you like a speeding car.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” He smiled, a bouquet of roses in his hand.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” You responded, your lips turning into a smile, cheeks hurting from smiling so hard as he handed you the flowers.

“You look good.” He spoke, clearing his throat, an awkward smile painting his face.

“Thank you, I could say the same about you.” You said, smiling brightly as you sat down your flowers, grabbing your purse and a red gift bag before turning to him again.

“This is for you.” You said, handing him the gift bag, a grin on his face as he accepted it.

“Let’s open our gifts later together, ok?” He said.

You nodded, closing the door behind you. 

The dinner was very much delicious, and you two had a great time baking cookies. It was a little bit messy, just because you both were a bit tipsy, well… very tipsy, but it was fun nevertheless.

“Mark let’s open our gifts.” You giggled, as he nodded, grabbing his small gift bag.

He grabbed his gift first, pulling it out and examining it.

“You told me that you wanted to learn how to cook more meals when im not around, and I can’t have you buying my courses again, so I just made you a homemade cookbook— with like only foods that we make together, the ones nobody else has.” You smiled infectiously, Mark feeling a smile curling on his lips just from looking at yours.

“Thank you Y/n, I love it.” He smiled genuinely, handing you the small bag that he had in his hands. You opened it slowly, taking out a small black velvet box.

You looked up at him, an impatient look glimmering in his eyes as you opened it slowly, a beautiful silver diamond necklace sparkling in your eyes.

“Well damn, maybe I should’ve gotten you a better gift.” You giggled, still a little taken aback.

He laughed in response, inching closer to you.

“Do you like it?” He asked, eyes burning into your face for some kind of approval.

“Like it? I love it.” You said, eyes sparkling as you looked up at him.

“Can you help me put it on?” You said, removing the necklace from the box, handing it to mark.

You turned around, lifting up your hair, the necklace wrapping around your neck nicely. His hands rubbing against your skin as he fastened the jewelry. You turned around, your bodies close, Mark looking at the necklace as it sparkled on your skin.

“It’s beautiful.” He murmured, looking at you with a smile, but all you could do was stare— stare deeply into his eyes, god you just wanted to taste him so bad.

Your stares remained interlocked, no one breaking the eye contact, no one saying anything either.

So you did it, leaning in and finally taking his lips onto yours. It wasn’t as magical as you thought though, in all honesty it seemed like it wasn’t even reciprocated.

You broke the kiss, an awkward silence shattering around you as he just stood staring at you.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You stuttered, breaking the silence.

Your eyes burned from holding back the tears that wanted to desperately be let out, you turning and walking away to avoid it— thinking about how your walk home would be, how you would cry deeply regretting how you ruined the day that was supposed to be perfect, but that all got interrupted as you felt a tight grasp on your wrist, turning you back around, a silent tension surrounding the two of you once again.

You looked at him with glossy eyes, a million thoughts rushing around in your brain, but your mind went blank again as his lips crashed back onto yours.

Your shoulders dropped, letting go of all the tension in your body as his hand found your face, pulling you deeper into the kiss.

The kiss grew deeper as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his free hand wrapping around your body, slowly backing you into his room, not breaking the kiss once.

His hands found the zipper of your dress, slowly pulling it down, slipping you out of the tight fabric, you pulling him out of his shirt shortly after.

There were no words exchanged, only heavy breathing as you two kissed passionately, tongues exploring each other’s mouths as he pushed you onto his bed.

You sat there, chest heaving up and down as you looked at him pull a condom out of his nightstand, eyes lighting up as you came to your senses about what was really going on.

He pulled down his pants and underwear, ripping the plastic to the condom with his teeth, wrapping it around himself before getting on top of you.

He planted another messy kiss on your lips before pulling down your underwear, lining up his tip to your aching hole.

You breathed heavily in anticipation, you practically have dreamt of this moment. He looked at you once more for reassurance before pushing himself into you. You let out a gasp, your walls wrapping tightly around him. He started to thrust at a slow pace, making sure you were comfortable before speeding up.

Your skin flushed as you squirmed under him, beautiful sounds of lust filling the room as his head rested on your shoulder, face nuzzling into your neck.

Loud moans filled the room as your bodies pressed into each others as he thrusted even faster, letting out moans and curses as your walls sucked him in.

You wrapped your hand around his bare back, scratching and itching at his bare skin as your bodies thrashed together.

“Fuck I’m almost there.” You whimpered out, clenching around him, breath hitching causing him to let out a low moan into your neck.

“Me too Y/n.” He moaned, desperately thrusting.

His hands found your arms, removing them from his back and holding onto them tightly, fingers interlocking with yours as his thrust became messier and messier by the second.

“Fuck I’m coming.” He cried out, your legs shaking in sync as he forced himself to do a few more aimless thrust, both of you moaning loudly as he rode out your highs.

The room filled with heavy breathy, you sitting there silently trying to fathom what even just happened. 

You two got cleaned up and went to sleep right after, well he did.

You couldn’t sleep though, the realization struck a cord in your brain, your mind racing from the thought that he wanted you just as bad as you wanted him, it was obviously so exciting.

You couldn’t wait to wake up together— wake up together knowing that he was yours and you were his.

You wonder what that conversation would sound like, what the moment would feel like when you two could finally call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, it had your cheeks growing warm. I guess you could say it was the best night of your life.

You shut your eyes, vivid pictures of him filled the dark void until you finally found yourself asleep.

February 15th, 11:25 am - he loves me, he loves me not.

You woke up, Mark sleeping soundly beside you, smiling strongly as you realized it really wasn’t a dream.

You hopped up excitedly, going to his kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the both of you, Mark waking up shortly before the food was ready.

“Good morning.” He said, taking a seat at the dining table.

“Good morning.” You smiled, plating the food and bringing it to him, taking a seat across from him.

You two sat awkwardly, Mark avoiding eye contact as he ate his food. You couldn’t wait any longer, couldn’t just sit around and wait till he brought up the topic.

You were so curious as to what you guys were now— and you weren’t going to technically ask him out, but you just wanted some clarity, just wanted to hear him say that you were more than friends, so you took a deep breath interrupting the silence: “Mark, I have a question.”

He looked at you, his eyes looking into yours as if he knew what was coming.

“What’s up?” He said, moving the food around on his plate with his fork.

“What- what are we?” You asked, titling your head, looking at him, but only being returned with broken eye contact.

He chewed his food silently, his body shifting in his chair. He looked back up at you, playing with his food once again, the fork scrapping on the plate somehow louder than the silence that surrounded the both of you.

“Well, we’re friends, aren’t we?” He swallowed, looking at you with a slight frown on his face.

“You don’t wanna be more than that though?” You asked, speaking softly as you innocently glanced at him.

He held his breath, looking everywhere except for your eyes as he answered agonizingly slow, and quietly: “No, not really.”

You felt your heart shatter as he still avoided eye contact, a million thoughts flooding your mind as you bit your lip.

“So why did you- why did we do that last night?” You asked.

“Well, I thought it was a friend thing, just us being tipsy.” He finally looked into your eyes, his answer only making your heart shrink smaller.

You held your composure well, but he noticed the subtlest shift in your eyelids along with the gloss that coated your eyes.

“Friends don’t fuck, or use each other when they’re horny and drunk ” You spat out, growing less patient of his answers by the second.

“Well, you kissed me first- I didn’t know what to do.” He shrugged, voice going a few octaves higher.

“The kiss where I apologized after I thought it wasn’t reciprocated? The kiss where you fucking pulled me back when I was trying to leave? That kiss Mark?” Anger spurred inside you as your voice grew more and more aggressive.

He grew quiet, silence filling the room once again as he looked at you with eyes full of pity— it drove you almost insane.

“Fuck this.” You said, storming to his room to grab any of your belongings.

“I didn’t wanna lose you Y/n.” He said, rushing after you.

“Oh so you decided to lead me on for what- fucking months? You thought that would’ve kept me here Mark? Flirting with me, watching me fall in love with you, then rejecting me and blaming it on me kissing you- AFTER I APOLOGIZED AND LITERALLY TRIED TO LEAVE? Not losing me was the last thing on your mind.” You picked up the remaining items, stuffing your bag rushingly.

“You- you fell in love with me?” He mumbled, standing in the doorway looking at you in sorrow.

“Yes Mark, I fell love you. I fell in love with your eyes, your smile, your fucking everything, and I thought you felt the same way about me, but obviously I’m nothing but a pity party to you.” You looked at him, tears finally spurring from your eyes as you started to break down from his silence.

“Fucking say something.” You said in a painful whisper.

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to lie and say I love you? I can’t lie to you like that Y/n, you deserve better than that.” Your eyes winced in pain as you stared at him silently.

“Wait no Y/n, that’s not what I meant, I do love you, you’re my best friend I love you a lot, but-”

You interrupted him, grabbing your bag and walking to the door where he was standing, removing your necklace.

“Stop Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that.” He spoke in deep sympathy and guilt.

“You looked me directly in my eyes when you said that, you meant every word. I hope you’re happy.”

Your last words almost squeaked out as your throat tightened, tears streaming down your hot cheeks as you handed him back the necklace.

“Please Y/n, stay— so we can talk about it.” He spoke lightly, blocking the doorway.

You could hear he was being genuine, but you didn’t care at that point. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, move Mark.”

“Y/n-”

“move.” You spoke sternly, all he could do was move out of the way and watch as the person he cared for the most walk out his life.

The walk home has probably been the worst and most embarrassing one ever. Your vision blurry as tears violently streamed down your face, wailing as the scene played over and over in your head. You thought he was different, but you guess everyone was the same. You promised to yourself that night that you will never ever deal with that ever again, and no matter what you’re done with him.

February 21st, 9:47pm- please, I love you.

It had been a week since the incident, and to say that you were exhausted was an understatement.

You were more numb than anything right now, finding a new route to run so you didn’t have to run into the smoothie shop, avoiding places that you were most likely to run into each other at, trying to forget about the incident, forget about him— but oh no he didn’t let you.

He would send messages every day, every hour, and it drove you almost insane, but for some reason you couldn’t block him, and deleting his number out of impulse didn’t do anything. 

Good morning, I hope you’re doing ok, again I’m so sorry.

You bet he is…

Hey, can we please talk?

Nope.

Plz just respond and tell me you’re okay.

Did he really think you were? 

You can be mad at me, you can hate me, but please let me apologize in person

Ugh, for someone who wasn’t in love with you, he would not leave you alone. 

But you would just ignore it, leave him on delivered for hours, opening the message when you felt like it. Sometimes you would even act like you were responding to the message when you felt him watching your text bubble, just to mess with him— you deserved to fuck around with him after all.

One day you got another message.  

 I’m outside, please come out, I’ll wait for hours if I have to. 

Was he serious, this was starting to get obsessive. Why couldn’t he just take the hint. 

You did what you always did, left him on read, and went on about your business, but 30 minutes later you were curious about if he was actually still waiting.

After beating yourself up for caring so much you decided to check his location, and there he was, sitting in the same place. You sat there for a minute, contemplating if you should go out— for goodness sakes it was like 40 degrees outside so this was some serious commitment on his part, plus this could be a good way to get rid of him, right? 

Right…

You grabbed your coat and slipped on your boots, making your way outside to where he was sitting. He jolted up, eyes widening from the fact that you did come outside.

He stood up, trying to hand you a flower.

“I don’t want it.” You declined, shaking your head before sitting on the bench. He nodded his head understandingly.

“How are you?” He asked, sitting beside you on the bench.

“What do you have to say?” You replied curtly, looking forward to avoid his gaze on you. You knew if you looked at him in his sorry eyes you might’ve just folded right then.

“Well, I just want to say that I’m so sorry Y/n. I truly am. I never meant to hurt you and I’m so stupid for leading you on, and making you feel like you mean so little to me. I- I guess I was just scared to lose you, which I know is not an excuse and I’m very sorry. I love and care for you a lot ok. You deserve so much more than what I gave you, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t act that way. I should’ve told you that I didn’t want a relationship from the jump and I’m so sorry that I’m realizing that now when it’s too late. You’re my best friend and by your side is where I’m meant to be. You have the right to be selfish and I know that I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you, but please, please just give me one more chance. I care about you so much and I need you in my life. Please.”

You sat there, a tear rolling down your cold, numb cheeks.

You didn’t want to trust him again, and you’ve said this before and it went terribly wrong, but no one has ever done or said anything to you like this before.

“Mark, listen.” You gulped down the sadness that lingered in your throat and began to speak clearly.

“I love you more than anything, and I would be willing to forgive, but do you realize how embarrassing this is? To be rejected like that— to be told those words, those excuses, and take you back, even as a friend this quickly, this fast. Sorry, but I would have no self respect for that. So that being said, I have to think about this.”

You paused, turning to him.

“But you have to leave me alone, you have to let me figure this out myself. I feel grateful that you feel pity and that you feel enough remorse to be here right now on a cold winter night, but you have to give me space, do you understand me? I need space from you.” 

“I understand. I’ll give you space.” He said nodding, looking at you with a frown on his face.

“Anything else?” You asked, standing up as he shook his head no, grabbing your wrist before walking off.

“Thank you, for coming out and talking.”

You said nothing, only nodding in response, pulling his fingers off your wrist, walking back up to your apartment.

February 28th, 8:36 pm- forgiveness, could you imagine?

It had been about a week since you and Mark talked, and trust it was the most confusing week.

You didn’t know whether to be sad, happy, or relieved.

Didn’t know if you would forgive, or just forget and move on.

He respected your wishes, no more annoying text anymore, but that didn’t make you feel good— and honestly made you think about him more, worried about if he was ok or not.

You knew it was bad, and you knew he didn’t even deserve to be thought about right now, but you cared for him and you couldn’t deny that.

So… after sitting for hours, thinking, you decided to forgive. 

Hey, I wanted to reach out so I wouldn’t leave you hanging on the matter, even tho you deserve it lol. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I decided to forgive you and would like to continue on as friends. I will never forget this and will take every comment you make seriously and correct you if I think something is misleading. It might not go back to the way it was right away, so don’t force it. And I guess that being said, I’ll see you tomorrow morning during my run.

Thank you so much Y/n, I really appreciate it, and I’ll try my best to be the best friend to you ever. I’ll try not to cross any boundaries and take your feelings deeply into consideration. I’ll see you tomorrow :)

So, I guess you broke your promise. You honestly just wanted your friend back, and even though you’re heartbroken, you still love him. This is your problem actually, too nice for this world, always forgiving, but you would work on that later, but right now you had to deal and learn from it. You know it sounds stupid, but even though he’s the one that broke your heart, he’s also the one who gave you a shoulder to lie on while you cry to him about it, so you’ll be okay. The things you would do for love. 

May 16th, 9:00 am - for me.

I had been 3 months since the whole incident happened between you and Mark. After a while you got tired of correcting his comments, and got the hint that was just being nice, so you let it go, along with your feelings for him. Basically, everything was back to normal, but he was way more— how do you say? Kinder, which seemed impossible given the fact of how your friendship has always been, but now it was very noticeable. You just chopped it up to him wanting to proof himself to you, and redeem himself from… past situations.

Unfortunately you had to break some bad news to him though.

Hey, can we meet at the park?

Yea sure, is everything ok?

You didn’t respond. 

You two were sitting on the bench that shared so much history, talking and getting off track per usual, but you finally had to spill the news. 

“Mark, I’m-” You took a deep breath, turning to your body towards him. 

“Mark I’m moving back home.” You said, Marks eyes glistening a mournful sparkle as he heard the words come out your mouth.

“W-why?” He asked, voice cracked a little as he stared at you. 

“Well, my mom is dead ok. And I- I feel like I’ve messed everything up and I need to go back to find myself, like find myself fully and heal instead of running away from my problems.” Your voice was confident, yet stuttered as you spoke. 

“When did your mom die, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, voice curious and worried. 

“Shit I didn’t even know she died until a week ago. I feel like even though we didn’t have a good relationship, I could’ve at least been there you know, not just for my mom, but for my whole family.” 

“I understand, and I’m so proud of you for trying to heal and be the bigger person, even though your family wasn’t the bigger person for you. When do you leave?” He asked.

You took another deep breath, biting your lip. “Next week.” 

“That soon!?” He said, his voice clamorous. 

“That soon… but let’s make this last week fun, and memorable and not mourn about it, ok?” 

“Ok.” He nodded. 

You both just sat in silence as you let the date sink in.

You claimed that you wanted to heal, and that you couldn’t stop running away from your problems, but here you were— running away from your biggest one. You thought that you wanted to keep in contact when you left, but in all honesty, you weren’t so sure. But you guess time would tell.

May 20th, 2:00 pm - this is goodbye

So here it is, your last hangout, the last time you would probably see him for a while, and it was memorable— you guess?

You two decided to go to an amusement park, and then the aquarium. You were having a great time, but you kept noticing his stares, exchanging glances every once in a while, it was very weird. 

“What?” You kept asking, his eyes widening in, obviously forceful confusion and innocence.

“Nothing, nothing. Nothing at all man.” He would respond each time, shrugging his shoulders. 

You were in the aquarium, holding the stuff animal that he bought you tightly in your arms. 

“Y/n, I have to tell you something.”  He spoke, clearing his throat. 

“What’s up?” You turned to him, a wide smile on your face as you looked him in the eyes. 

“I um-” he paused, gulping and biting his lip nervously as you stared at him with curious eyes.  

“I just wanted to say that I’m gonna miss you and I hope we stay close.” He smiled, sticking his thumb up awkwardly.

“Aww me too Mark.” You smiled in return, pulling him into a hug.

Finally you were back to your apartment after a long, but fun day with him. He wanted you to come over so he could prepare some dinner for you, but you knew that you were going to be exhausted tomorrow from the move so you respectfully declined, letting him know that you needed rest. 

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then huh?” You said, a bittersweet smile on your face as you looked at his gleaming eyes.

“I guess it is. You’ll visit right?” He questioned.

“Of course I will, and you can come visit me whenever you want too. There’s a lake nearby that I think you’d love.” You smiled.  

“Ok, I’ll definitely visit for sure.” He nodded. A comforting silence surrounding the two of you as you just stared at each other.

“Well, I have to get going.” You said, breaking the silence, a grin on your face. 

“Ok. I’ll see you later… bye y/n!” 

“Bye Mark!” You smiled, turning away to walk to your apartment, looking behind you once more, a smile on his face as he waved.

You never thought that your story would end this soon. Even, though— or, if you, remained friends, you knew it would never be the same no matter how much you visit or text each other, but that’s okay, you were fine with it… right?

May 21st, 8:36 pm - I’m home.

Hey, just checking to see if you got there smoothly?

Yep, all moved in lol

Great I’m glad, I’ll definitely be coming soon;) but anyways, I’ll let you get some rest. Talk to you later

Talk to you later :)

May 21st, 12:23 am - hate me forever.

❥ 1 new voice message from - mark

I know you might hate me forever after this, but I was thinking about it and it’s best if I just told you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and it seems like all I do is fuck your life over, but Ive gotten it all wrong anyways, so I might as well confess now. Fuck Y/n, I think- I think I’m in love with you. You’re going to be so pissed off with me and I was about to tell you yesterday before you left, but you looked so happy and I didn’t wanna ruin it with my own personal feelings like I always do. I thought I didn’t want to be with you, I thought I never would want to be with anyone ever, but you made me realize that I do and I feel like there was a reason that I kissed you, tipsy or not. Well I did more than just kiss you, but nevermind that. Sorry. I don’t know why I said that sorry. Anyways sorry, I um dude I’m actually like, this is like frustrating, but I hope that we can still be close even though we don’t live near each other anymore. And yeah, I thought to tell you this so you could reject me and get your revenge you know? Sorry I don’t know why I said that either- sorry for saying that- whyd I- anyways, man I just- ok turn this off actually, but I- I love you Y/n and I hope we stay close, wait dude didn’t I just say that? I don’t know anymore man ok bye- love you- bye.

Don’t listen to that I was drunk :/

Getting drunk the day I leave, miss me already? ;)

Ha you’re funny. Don’t listen tho seriously

Ok fine I won’t .-.

What the fuck.

You obviously listened to it, the first thing you heard in the morning and all you could do was sit in your bed shocked.

You never thought this day would ever come, nor prepared yourself for it.

There was nothing you could do, he fumbled, and you had lost feelings. That was his fault sorry not sorry, but as the week went on you could only think about that message.

It ran through your mind over and over again, and the more you thought about, the more you wanted him.

No matter how much you tried to force your feelings away and tell yourself that you didn’t have them anymore, you can never deny love you feel for someone else, never. 

You loved Mark, and you needed to talk to him.

May 30th, 8:00 pm - we can't be friends.

It had been about a week after the voice message, and you tried to ignore everything. Tried to ignore your feelings, your families nagging and constant toxicity, and tried to ignore him running through your mind. You both haven’t talked since then, I guess he was too guilty to even try and you just let it go.

“Y/n, there’s someone here for you.” You heard screaming from downstairs. 

Your brows furrowed in curiosity as you made your way downstairs. 

You went to the front door, opening it to see Mark standing there. Your eyes widening as he stood at the door with a cheeky smile. 

“Mark what are you doing here!?” You asked, slipping on your sandals and walking outside, shutting the door behind you.

“I told you I would come soon.” He smiled. 

“How did you even find my address?” Your forehead crinkled as you looked at him with questioning eyes. 

“We share locations.” He answered quickly, swirls of passion in his eyes. 

“Mark, that’s like- kinda weird.” You answered, a chuckle escaping your lips as he scratched the back of his head.

“Man, I just be checking sometimes, just to make sure you’re ok. Now can you show me this lake that you talked about, it’s all that’s been running through my mind.” 

“Yes mark I can show you the lake.” You said, grabbing a blanket and your phone. 

You two sat at the lake, watching the sunset, talking like you haven’t seen each other for months.

As you two talked, him confessing kept crossing your mind, really it was all that you could think of actually.

You didn’t know if you should just leave it alone like he did, tell him that you knew and that it was ok, or just tell him you like him first to see if he says anything.

You honestly didn’t know how it would affect the relationship between the two of you, but you just wanted to say something at least, and you weren’t upset like he thought. 

“Mark.” You begun, swallowing the anxiety that crawled up your chest into your throat. 

He didn’t even respond, just looked at you blankly, his eyes hinting a bit of worry. 

“I listened to the voice message.” You mumbled. 

His face dropped, ears turning red as he opened his mouth to say something, lip quivering as the words got stuck.

You could feel his heart race even though you weren’t even touching him. He paused for a second, then his voice sounded in fast and high pitch words. 

“Y/n, I’m seriously like so sorry. I know that had to be confusing and I honestly wish that I deleted it before you listened dude, swear. You did not deserve to be tangled up in my feelings-” 

“Don’t worry, it’s mutual.” You interrupted. 

“And I just- wait what?” He paused, looking at you with confusion in his eyes, but a bit a relief in his voice.

“It’s mutual.” You nodded, just as surprised of your words as Mark at that point. 

“But I thought you stopped liking me?” His said, his voice sounding flabbergasted. Eyes twinkling as he looked into yours. 

“I did, but I never stopped loving you, and I guess that counts right?” You said, a small grin on your face as his face lit up. 

“So- so would you be with me? Would you be my girlfriend Y/n?” He asked, turning to you, voice high pitched and excited as his eyes went brighter and wide. 

“I would… if you promise to never leave me alone, if you promise to always be there with and for me?” You answered, eyes sparkling as a smile crept on your face from just looking at him. 

“I promise Y/n. I’m not letting you go again. I want us to be together forever if it’s possible.” He spoke, scooting closer to you and grabbing your hands, holding them tightly. 

“Ok, well then- I would love to be your girlfriend Mark.” Your cheeks hurt as you smiled strongly, your words full of warmth. 

“But wait, there’s something we’re forgetting.” He paused, you humming in response as he grabbed something from his coat pocket. 

He held up the shimmering diamond necklace, your eyes sparking as you looked at it with a smile. 

“Do you just carry that around with you? That’s weird.” You asked, giggling to yourself. 

“Call me what you want bro, but it’s yours.” 

He smiled, signaling you to turn around so he could put it on you. 

“Wow this is so excited I could just kiss you.” He squealed as you turned around.

You raised your eyebrows, a smirk painting your face as you starred at him. He blinked quickly, a smirk appearing on his face shortly after yours. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, cheekbones defined from blushing. 

“Yes. You can kiss me.” You responded, nodding as your cheeks grew warm as the smile on your face began to hurt from how big it was. 

He smiled, grabbing your face and pulling it to his, looking at your eyes before leaning in.  The taste was familiar, yet so much sweeter. You wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him even closer to you, lips not leaving each others. 

Now this is what you could call magical— no regrets, no alcohol, just love. 

July 7th, 9:38 am. - my darling.

“Happy one year- meetiversary?” He spoke. 

You giggled, meeting him at the counter, giving him a kiss on the cheek as he handed you a mango smoothie.

“Whatever happened to the watermelon ones?” You asked. 

You were relieved for sure, but still curious because after your birthday he stopped giving them to you. 

“I thought you didn’t like them?” He asked, his eyebrow raised as he titled his head. 

“Did I tell you that?” You paused, looking at him with confused eyes. 

“No, but I could tell from like the first day I gave you one.” 

“So if you could tell I didn’t like it, why’d you keep making them for me?” You questioned, head titling. 

“Oh I just wanted to mess with you, see how long it would take for you to crack, but you didn’t, surprisingly.” He said, a smirk appearing on his face.

“So why Mangos now?” You raised your eyebrow questionably. 

“It’s your favorite fruit.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Y/n It was in your 4 hour cooking course. You mentioned how it was your favorite fruit.” He answered, you nodding in response understandably before tilting your head once again. 

“But you bought the one with my favorite meal, the 2 hour one?” You said, causing his lips to curl into a smile.

“Oops.” 

You hit him playfully, scolding him about not buying your classes anymore and that you were right there to teach him, but he never listened regardless so you stopped wasting your breath. 

You two were long distance for a tad bit, but he finally convinced you to come back so you could be closer again, and trust you took it deeply into consideration after you kept getting in fights with your family when you moved back home. So you’re back.

Sometimes you just sit and think about what if you never moved in the first place. How would your life be? Nevermind that, you just felt grateful to have him and he felt the same about you. It’s been a year since you and Mark have met, and to say that it’s been an emotional rollercoaster was an understatement. Your connection was for sure a journey, and every step of the way, no matter if it was sad or happy, it brought the two of you where you meant to be— together. 

September 15th, 5:39 pm (5 years later) - I’ll never let you go.

Sorry to bother you on your run, but do you think you can pick her up some diapers otw home?

Delivered at 8:30 am

Y/n omg she’s crying so hard, she misses her mom, come back soon :(

Delivered at 9:30 am

Sorry, I’ll leave you alone, but I’m telling the truth about her crying.

Delivered at 9:31 am

Y/n, it’s been an hour, where are you? Why is your location off?

Delivered at 10:42 am

Y/n where are you? I’m becoming very upset, text back. 

Delivered at 12:38 pm

baby, are you okay? Why aren’t you picking up my calls?

Delivered at 2:09 pm

Did I do something to upset you? I’m sorry if I did, plz come home so we could talk about it. 

Delivered at 5:00 pm

About 30 minutes, I got a call that sent a shiver down my spine.

“Hello is this the husband of Y/n L/n?”

You always told me that you would list me first for your emergency contacts, but I didn’t think anything of it. 

“I’m sorry to inform you, but she was involved in a very bad hit and run car accident. Please come down here as soon as possible so we can discuss the matter with you.” 

My heart trembled at the call, I couldn’t even stand straight.

Your long time friend, your roommate met me at the hospital, taking our baby girl out of my hands before I went into the hospital room, hands shaking every step of the way to you.

When I saw you, my heart sunk, it had to have been a nightmare, no way this was real.

I couldn’t even make it fully in the room before turning and walking out the door. Screaming, tears streaming down my face as I tried to find who did this to you. Thank god our baby was there, gave me a reason to not find him and kill him myself.

The doctors helped me calm down and I finally walked in fully, trying to hold my composure as I got closer to you.

They had you hooked up to all this complicated equipment, but all I could see was you.

I took a seat by your side, tears falling from my eyes as the doctors gave me a minute to spend with you quietly. 

“She’s brain dead. The impact of the car sent her into cardiac arrest and the impact from the fall added severe damages to her brain”

I heard that from beside me, a sorrowed voice that just sunk into my brain, carving the words harshly into my heart.

My eyes shut as I wrapped my hand around yours.

You were cold, and that only made my heart shatter more.

“Is there anyway she’ll wake up? Anything?”

I tried to speak, but my voice cracked and squeaked as I saw the doctor’s forcefully cold expression, sympathy in his eyes as he shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing we can do but pull the plug, but that’s a decision for you Mr. Lee.” 

Tears were in my eyes, my face focused as I stared at you. I was in my right mind— I think, but I couldn’t help my emotions that began to flow out. 

“Can- can she feel anything?”

I asked, my voice cracked as I looked at your face.

No matter how cut up it was you still looked so beautiful. 

“No.” The doctor spoke. 

“So then, I guess that’s the only thing to do right?”

I mumbled, small hiccups escaping my throat as the doctor nodded in agreement, leaving me in the room with you alone for a few more minutes. 

I felt numb when I heard that long agonizing beep, couldn’t feel anything but tickling tears rolling down my cheek as I looked at your face.

I could hear faint sounds of your roommate crying, along with our babies cries ringing in my ear, but I couldn’t do anything— I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, I was shattered. 

I love you y/n. I will love you forever, and the day that I die, I’ll look for you, and only you.

May 30th, 6:46 pm (4 years later) - interminable

Happy anniversary y/n

it’s been 9 years since I asked to be your boyfriend haha time flies so fast doesn’t it?

Oh, our precious baby girl is 5 years old now, whatttt.

She loves you so much, always ask for stories about her mom, wants to be a chef just like you. 

It’s funny because guess what? she hates watermelon smoothies too. She tried to lie, but I saw it in her face. Reminds you of someone huh? 

Yk I still remember laughing to myself every time I gave you those smoothies, you tried so hard to act like it was good, but I could tell.

I still listen to your voice messages, the ones you always told me that your laugh sounded ugly, remember? Well I think it sounds beautiful, your laugh never fails to crack me up. 

Oh and guess what? I have a surprise. Are you ready? you’re gonna be so happy.

I met Gordon Ramsey! Are you jealous lol? Don’t worry I bragged to him about you, he said you sounded lovely. It always amazes me how talented you are.

I know you’re smiling so hard aren’t you? You wouldn’t leave me for Gordon Ramsey right?

Wait also before you get mad at me, of course I still have the cookbook

And yes I still cook every recipe out of that book, even the one with the sauce that always made me fart, god you hated that one. 

I still think about you everyday 

And I still miss you so much

Like really really miss you. 

Y/n, I really really really fucking miss you 

And I still love you, I will never stop loving you. 

Happy anniversary.

I love you too Mark, happy anniversary.

So, yes you’re not here anymore, but he made a promise to you, and he kept it. You will always love him, and be there for him and watch over him and your child. You don't always need a body to live on, all you need is a heart, and as long as he's living, your heart resides with his. 

©mafiadad5

[a-tiny-thing]

(67) Days of Whatever the Fuck that Was (PART 2.)

Summary: Chenle wasn't interested in committed relationships until he met the one. The problem is that now she is the one who doesn't want to commit to him.

Pairing: Werewolf! Chenle x Siren! Female reader

Warnings: OOff where do I start. Things get dubious, and even a bit non-conish sometimes so do not read if that's not something you're into. A lot of mind games, manipulation, gaslighting, and all the red flags you can think of. Y/N is MEAN. Also, this is super long so i had to make two separate posts. Read both if you want to know how it started! SMUT.

(PART 2)

“Why’s Jisung crying?” Kun asked when he saw the youngest member of the pack trying to hide how glossy his eyes were a few days later.

“I’m not,” Jisung replied stubbornly, but the words came out broken.

“He watched (500) Days of Summer,” Renjun deadpanned. 

“You watched–,” Kun burst out laughing. “It’s a romantic comedy! How did you end up crying?”

“It’s not romantic, nor funny,” Jisung disagreed.

Renjun sighed. “He’s worried about Chenle.”

“Oh…” Kun frowned. “Is he still hiding in his room?”

Renjun and Jisung nodded.

Kun sighed and hesitantly walked to Chenle’s room, knocking on the door and letting himself in when he heard a monotonous ‘come in’ from the other side.

“Hey, Lele…,” he greeted awkwardly. “How are you feeling?”

Chenle was sprawling in bed, with dark circles under a pair of eyes stuck to the laptop screen.

“Hm,” he replied, without elaborating.

“What are you up to?” Kun asked casually, walking closer to take a look at the screen. “Oh…You’re watching that movie too…”

Chenle barely nodded. “I’ve watched it  6 times. Each time it becomes more obvious that they would never end up together. Funny, isn’t it?” his dull voice said.

“Lele, I’m so sorry,” Kun said sincerely. Not only for what happened to the younger werewolf,  but also for even mentioning that stupid movie.

“It was gonna happen sooner or later,” Chenle closed his laptop and finally looked at the oldest. “She didn’t want me. Not the way I want her, at least.”

Kun looked at him sadly.

“Maybe I could make my own movie,” Chenle joked unenthusiastically. “The title would be (67) Days of Whatever the Fuck that Was.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” the older offered.

“Sure, you could convince her to take me back,” Chenle chuckled humorlessly. “Forget it, gege. There’s nothing anyone could do,” he said, before putting his laptop away and pulling the covers all the way up until they covered his head. “Can you close the door when you leave, please?”

“I…sure,” Kun murmured, walking out and closing the door quietly.  He stood in the corridor for an entire minute as he considered his options. “Fuck it,” he murmured, for once not caring about his manners.

He went back to the living room where Jisung and Renjun were waiting expectantly. “Get up, you two,” Kun told them. “We’re going to the bar.”

“Yeosang, I’m fine,” you insisted after he begged you to go rest for the 5th time.

“ You haven’t seen your mate in a week, and you know that can affect your health. You shouldn’t abuse your body.”

“It’s almost time to close. There are like 5 people here. It can’t be that hard, ” you laughed.

“I can handle it for the last half of an hour,” he offered. “You haven’t been looking too good lately–”

“It’s getting better,” you lied before turning to the customer to take his order. “Hi! What can I get you?”

“Three glasses of Eternal Dusk, please,” a handsome man with a charming smile said, handing you his credit card. 

“Right away,” you replied with a smile, scanning the card and handing it back to him before preparing the drinks skillfully and handing them to him.

 He thanked you and took the drinks to the table where his friends were waiting for him. You thought you recognized one of them, but he quickly looked away, suddenly being very interested in the wall behind him. Over the course of the night, they kept stealing glances at you, quickly looking away and talking secretly in their tiny group. Eventually, the same guy who had ordered the drinks earlier approached the bar again.

“Another round?” you offered.

“Uh, actually–” he stopped mid-sentence with a wince and hesitantly grabbed a pendant that was hanging from a chain, tucked under his shirt. He inspected the relic suspiciously like it wasn’t his own.

“Everything okay?” you asked.

He looked at you and then back at the pendant, which he quickly hid back under his shirt. “Y-yeah sorry,” he smiled politely. “I was wondering–... you’re not from around here, are you?”

“No, I–uh, I’m from the Scarlet Islands,” you disclosed. “Why?”

“Figures. Your beauty is…definitely not something you see in this town,” he said cheekily, looking at you like he had found out your biggest secret.

“Are you going to order something or not?” Yeosang interrupted the conversation, standing in between you and the customer. 

The man smiled at Yeosang before shaking his head and waving goodbye. “I think we’re done for tonight,” he said, going to his table and hurrying his friends out of the bar.

“What a creep,” Yeosang said. 

“Y-yeah,” you chuckled nervously and started cleaning up now that the last customers were gone.

“Heeey, Sangie,” Wooyoung greeted cheerfully approaching the bar. “Can I steal Y/N away for a little bit?”

Yeosang glared at Wooyoung suspiciously. 

“It won’t be anything stupid, I promise,” Wooyung said, trying to look as innocent as possible.

“I’ll be okay, Sangie,” you chuckled, walking away with Wooyoung when Yeosang finally nodded hesitantly.

Wooyoung guided you out of the ship, to the dock that connected it to land. It was late at night and the place was deserted. The only sound you could hear was the water splashing the wooden ship and the distant voices of the crew members coming from inside the ship.

When you looked at Wooyoung you were surprised to see him taking his shirt off.

“What are you doing?” you asked, astonished.

“I’m getting undressed,” he said, unbuckling his belt.

“I can see that. Why?”

“We’re going swimming!” he exclaimed, stepping out of his pants to present himself in front of you in his underwear. “Why are you just standing there? Do you need me to take your clothes off for you?” he asked suggestively.

“Woo, it’s late…” you tried to reason.

“I’ll push you. Don’t test me.”

You saw a mischievous glint in his eyes and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine, I guess it won’t hurt to swim a little bit,” you said, undressing yourself until you were only wearing your bra and panties. The crew had seen you in a swimming suit before, so this was basically the same. And it was dark, so you weren’t worried about him seeing through the fabric once it got wet

You followed Wooyoung into the water and sighed at the feeling surrounding you.

“Feel good?” Wooyoung asked, apprehensively.

“Really good,” you admitted, surprised. Your body had felt heavy and ached for the last few days, but you were suddenly feeling so relieved.

“Seawater restores sirens’ vitality,” Wooyoung commented, very proud of himself. “I read about it.”

“Aaw, were you worried about me?” you teased.

He splashed water on your face as a response. You gasped and splashed him back, starting a childish battle that ended with him holding you tightly against his own body to prevent your attacks.

You were laughing brightly when you felt the soft presence of his lips on yours. It barely lasted a second, but it made all laughter stop.

Your confused eyes met Wooyoung’s untamed ones. He wasn’t laughing, nor did he seem embarrassed or regretful.

“Did that feel good too?” he asked. His voice was thick with implication.

You stared back at him, speechless.

“Don’t worry, this isn’t a love confession,” he said, gently pushing a strand of wet hair from your face. “This is just me saying that I know you’re going through a hard time, and that your body isn’t taking it well. You’re tired, in pain, and so sensitive…” he trailed off.

You blushed. “Woo–”

“I know it’s someone else that you want,” he continued. “But I can help you forget, even if it’s just for a little bit.”

“You don’t have to–”

“You think I get nothing out of it? You may not know this but I have a thing for sirens. I dated one, actually…but things didn’t end up well. I recently found out through Yeosang that she met someone knew,” he chuckled but his laugh sounded empty, hurt. “I should be happy for her. But I can’t bring myself to. Childish, huh?”

“It was you?!” you asked, astonished. “The friend Yeosang told me about–”

“She’s my ex,” Wooyoung confessed. “Well…if you could call that a relationship. We barely held hands or kissed. She was afraid if we…consummated, she would follow me wherever I went. That was smart of her; following a pirate around isn’t anyone’s dream life.”

“Woo…I’m so sorry,” you whispered sympathetically.

“You’re in no position to be sorry about someone else’s love life,” he laughed, earning a playful punch on the shoulder. “What I’m trying to say here is that none of us is with who we want to be, but we have each other…”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” you hesitated.

“Isn’t it tiring to have to pleasure yourself?” he taunted, caressing your waist with intent and making you shiver, suddenly very aware of the proximity and nakedness of you both. “You can’t let the man you love make you cum, and I couldn’t make the woman I loved cum…” he murmured, moving his hands skillfully to give you goosebumps. “Wouldn’t it be poetic if we cum together?”

“The mental gymnastics to get to that conclusion are out of this world,” you joked.

“Y/N,” he groaned. “We’re both lonely and horny, and we’re stuck in a lifestyle that won’t let us have a stable relationship with anyone outside this damn ship. Is it really that crazy to propose we help each other out?”

You considered it for a second. He was making sense; you couldn’t be with Chenle if you wanted to continue your current lifestyle…but Wooyoung would always be there. 

“Captain said no relationships within crew members,” you murmured, holding onto the last argument against this reckless idea.

“Captain doesn’t need to know,” he assured you, closing the distance between your lips and kissing you. You kissed him back, focusing on Wooyoung and trying to forget all about Chenle. Without knowing that you would see him sooner than expected.

“CHENLE!” Kun yelled, bursting into the depressed wolf’s room and yanking the covers away from his limp body. “YOU STUPID BOY!”

After getting over the initial shock, Chenle gave him an unamused glare. “We already established that. No need to yell,” he murmured, reaching for the cover again.

Kun took the cover from his hand and threw it on the floor. He then unclasped from around his neck a golden chain with a doubloon hanging from it and waved it in front of Chenle’s face. “Do you know what this is?” 

“No,” deadpanned Chenle.

“It’s a siren detector,” he replied proudly.

“Why do you even have one of those?” Chenle asked, still uninterested.

“I got it from my time in the navy, of course. All sailors get one for safety.”

“Pff, you were not in the navy,” Chenle scoffed.

“Yes, I was? I sent you postcards?” Kun reminded him offendedly. “Whatever, that’s not the point. The point is we went to the bar where your mate works—“

“You did WHAT?!” Chenle asked outrageously. 

“We were going to convince her to take you back,” Kun continued.

“Nooo,” Chenle groaned, mortified. “How did you even know which bar it was?”

“Jisung led the way,” Kun informed.

Chenle glared at Jisung who was standing awkwardly next to Renjun.

“Sorry,” Jisung mumbled. “Didn’t want you to be sad…”

Chenle sighed. “You should have asked me— did you steal that glass?”

Jisung looked at the glass he was holding, still half full of alcohol. “We left in a hurry and I kinda panicked.”

“As I was saying,” Kun demanded everyone’s attention. “Whenever I got near your mate the detector started burning my skin. I asked her where she was from and she named an island that is located in the Forbidden Sea, which is where you can find  the biggest population of merpeople.”

Chenle stared at him dumbly.

“You imprinted on a siren!” Kun exclaimed exasperatedly. “Well, probably a half-siren…she seems to be able to spend long periods of time on land.”

“…That’s ridiculous. I would have noticed if my mate had a fishtail.”

“I guess they don’t teach you guys anatomy in school anymore,” Kun said. “That’s a myth. Sirens look like any other human. Some historical jerk assumed they had tails because the lower part of their bodies often remained hidden under the water. They have legs just like us, and they sometimes come to land, but they need sea water to survive. My guess is Y/N gets easy access to the water by traveling with pirates.”

“But… it can’t be…”

“It makes perfect sense,” Renjun interjected. “Sirens are famous for their mind control. Think about it: isn’t it weird that you always agreed to everything she said?”

Again, Chenle glared at Jisung, who must have spilled the beans about that too.

 “I don’t know, man,” he sighed tiredly. “Maybe I’m just a simp.”

“No but—“ Jisung spoke nervously. “That night when you met her you were so out of it. All you kept saying was that you didn’t want to mark her. Isn’t that weird?”

Chenke knitted his brows. It was kind of weird. “Maybe it was the fever.”

“Just try to remember,” Renjun insisted. “Did you ever have any disagreement that ended with you saying something out of character? Something that you didn’t understand why you were saying?”

Chenle froze. Every encounter with you had ended like that. Suddenly it all made sense.

Holy fuck. He had been played.

 He groaned and pulled his hair. “So Y/N is a master manipulator. Why does it matter? She doesn’t want to see me.”

”That’s the weird part,” Kun says hurriedly. “I heard her speaking with the other bartender, saying something about not seeing her mate for a week. Your relationship,” he said that word making air quotes with his hands, “ended a week ago. So that has to be referring to you, right? That means she imprinted on you too. But if that’s really the case then she wouldn’t be able to stand being away from you after you guys slept together,” he ranted nonsensically. 

Chenle wasn’t really following. He was still trying to process that he imprinted on a siren, and now Kun was saying that you probably imprinted on him too. He didn’t even know sirens imprinted.

“Maybe sexual relationships aren’t that important for her,” Renjun said, trying to make sense of the situation. 

“Sex is a sacred ritual between siren mates,” Kun contradicted Renjun’s theory. “When a siren is brought to their climax by the one they imprinted on it’s game over. The bond is sealed for eternity. Seriously, guys, what are they teaching you in school?”

“Not how to mate with sirens, clearly,” Renjun replied sarcastically, making Jisung choke on his drink.

“Orgasms seal the bond…” Chenle mumbled, sitting up as he pieced together everything he heard. “Game over…”

“Exactly,” Kun said, excited that at least one of them was paying attention and learning from him. “But then she probably wasn’t talking about you when she mentioned a mate because she shouldn’t be able to live without you after two months of–” 

“I didn’t make her cum,” Chenle admitted.

The room was silent.

“You mean– last time you were together?” Renjun offered.

“Ever,” Chenle deadpanned.

Jisung gasped. “You never told me that!” he accused.

“Yeah, thank god, or you would have told everyone!” Chenle rolled his eyes.

“I get nervous when interrogated!” Jisung defended himself.

“Chenle!” Kun shrieked. “Are you saying that in two months of being fuckbuddies,” he stressed, “ you didn’t make her cum once?!”

“It wasn’t my fault!” Chenle replied.

“Right,” Renjun said sarcastically.

“She kept telling me that I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t deserve to touch her!” Chenle huffed, incredulous at what he was learning. “Whenever she was about to cum she would stop me with that sickeningly sweet voice of hers–”

“The siren voice,” Kun nodded, starting to understand what was happening.

“And I would always end up doing as she said and–I don’t know I thought it was like a weird kink of hers, or that I really was that bad in bed,” Chenle groaned. 

“She was stopping you from consummating the bond,” Renjun breathed out, catching up.

“Wait what?” Jisung asked.

“She imprinted on Chenle and she knew if he made her orgasm  she would be bonding with him forever,” Kun explained. “She literally hypnotized him to make sure he never made her cum.”

“That’s a whole new level of commitment issues…” Jisung said incredulously. “And gaslighting,” he added,  not believing that someone would go that far. 

But Chenle didn’t doubt you would do all that and more to get what you wanted. You were literally insane.  

“Fucking bitch,” he grunted, getting out of bed and exiting the room.

“Where are you going?” Jisung asked.

“Where do you think?!” Chenle yelled back.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Renjun warned, running after him, followed by Jisung and Kun.

“You either wait here or you come with, but you’re not stopping me,” Chenle grunted, opening the front door and walking out of the house in his pajamas.

The three werewolves exchanged worried looks before following Chenle to his car. Kun ended up driving because Chenle’s hands were shaking with rage, and the car was barely parked near the port when Chenle sprinted toward the imposing ship. 

The bar was closed, and everyone was probably asleep, but Chenle didn’t give a damn. He was going to wake up the entire town if he had to.

But he didn’t have to, because he heard you.

It was distant and weak. You were giggling and whimpering, and at some point, he even thought he heard his name. But where–?

He almost tripped when he stepped on…pants? And there were other pieces of clothing too– Was that your top?!

“You okay?” asked an unfamiliar male voice.

“F-fine,” you croaked.

“That good, huh?” the stranger asked.

“Shut up,” you replied playfully.

The voices were getting closer and Chenle’s enhanced vision could see you swimming toward the dock…with a man. 

“It must have been good,” the man insisted. “You were so out of it that you called me a totally different name.”

“Woo,” you whined, ashamed. “I’m sorry–” 

He pecked your lips. “It’s fine,” he assured you with a smile, reaching for the wooden surface. “You’ll get it right next time–,” his sentence was interrupted when out of nowhere someone grabbed him and pulled him out of the water aggressively. 

Your eyes widened in fear when you saw Chenle, manhandling Wooyoung with murderous intent. The pirate landed on his back on the dock with a loud thud and winced, but that was only the beginning of the pain Chenle had planned for him. 

“C-chenle!” you shrieked, getting out of the water. “Chenle, stop!”

“I’ll deal with you later,” he growled at you, getting back to beating the shit out of the man who had dared to kiss you.

Desperately, you yelled at him to stop, tried to pull him away from Wooyoung, and finally screamed for help, hoping at least one of your crew members would hear you.

Luckily, Yunho came running out of the ship, closely followed by Mingi, who looked half-asleep. They quickly assessed the situation and charged in to separate the two men. San and Yeosang joined the scene right after, helping Wooyoung get up and trying to get him away from the threat.

“I’ll teach you not to touch what isn’t yours,” Chenle growled, breaking free from Yunho and Mingi’s grasp, but thankfully Kun, Renjun and a terrified Jisung stepped in, not letting him reach the poor man. 

“Leave right now or I’ll call the police,” Seongwha spoke authoritatively, standing between his crew and the werewolves.

“Call the police then!” Chenle challenged petulantly. “See if I care. One of my pack is fucking a police officer so they can’t do shit to us–” he suddenly fell on the floor completely unconscious. Behind him, there was Jongho.

“I hit a pressure point so he’ll be asleep for a bit,” Jongho explained calmly. “Not for long though, so you should get him out of here fast.”

The three werewolves nodded quickly, and mumbled a thousand apologies while they grabbed his unconscious pack member and dragged him away. 

Seungwha quickly instructed the crew to take Wooyoung inside and tend to his wounds before turning to you. “Y/N, Captain wants to see you.”

The crew turned to look at you, failing to mask the fear in their eyes. They knew that if the Captain asked you to go to his cabin, it meant you were in huge trouble.

You lowered your head and nodded obediently, grabbing your clothes and boarding the ship. You quickly dried your body and put on some clothes before walking to the Captain’s cabin with trembling legs.

“Come in,” he said before you could even knock.

The antique door opened with a quiet squeak.

Captain Hongjoong was standing by a small window while playfully tossing his spyglass from one hand to the other.

“Did you ask to see me?” you asked nervously.

“I did,” he hummed calmly. “Had fun with Wooyoung?”

Your blood ran cold. There was no way he could have found out this fast, could he?

He chuckled. “Come here, Y/N.”

You took hesitant steps toward him until you were face to face.

“Look outside” he instructed,positioning so you were looking out the window. “What do you see?”

You saw the dock where the fight had happened and if you moved a bit to the right you could see the exact spot where you and Wooyoung had been fooling around. Could he have seen–?

“Saw it all,” he purred next to your ear, answering your unvoiced question. “Can’t say I’m surprised. If someone was going to break that rule it was Wooyoung.”

“It wasn’t his fault–”

“Please,” Hongjoong laughed, sitting on a chair made out of a barrel. “You want me to believe that Wooyoung wasn’t the one who started this? I know my crew,” he said, gesturing at the chair in front of him for you to take a seat too.

“He was only trying to help,” you explained, sitting down.

“Yeah, because you broke up with rich boy, right? Maybe if you hadn’t used your siren voice on him things wouldn’t have ended like that.”

You gasped in surprise. He knew about that?! 

He gasped too, mocking you. “Told you, Y/N. I know my crew,” he informed you, changing his tone to a more serious one. “Relationships within the crew are a rule that could be bent if necessary… but I strictly forbade you from bewitching people.”

“I–I know…”

“Wooyoung and you hooked up, alright, no problem. You’re both adults. But what you did to that man,” he said pointing at the window, “was take away his autonomy for your benefit.”

You nodded slowly, ashamed. 

“I’ve been waiting to see if you would solve things on your own, but now one of my men is hurt. You did that,” he accused.

You winced. “I understand. I’ll pack my things,” you said.

Hongjoong frowned.“Why would you do that?”

“I broke the rules and I put the crew in danger. So I gotta leave, right?”

“That would be the easy way out,” he said sternly. “You can’t abandon people whenever you fail them.”

“Then what should I do?”

“Apologize.”

“I’m sorry,” you said immediately.

“Not to me. To Chenle Zhong.”

Wow. He even knew his full name.

“I ended things with him,” you explained.

“But did you apologize?”

“He’ll move on and find someone better.”

“Did.you.apologize?”

You sighed in defeat. “...No.”

“Do it,” he commanded. “In person.”

You nodded right when someone knocked on the door softly.

“Come in,” Hongjoong said.

Seongwha walked in. “Wooyoung will be fine. Only a few bruises, but no broken bones.”

“Good,” Hongjoong sighed. “Tell him he’s grounded.”

“Of course,”  Seongwha said, but shot you a worried look. “What about Y/N?”

“She has her own task to complete, isn’t that right?” he said, looking at you solemnly.

And that’s how you found yourself unblocking Chenle and texting him, asking him if you could meet. The message showed as read for hours until he finally replied setting a time and date.

He picked you up like he often did in the past, before shit hit the fan. At first you refused to get in the car.

“I’ll be quick,” you said.

“I won’t,” he countered angrily. “I have a lot to say, and you’re gonna listen. Get in.”

His voice left no room for disobedience, so you nervously got in the car. This time he drove in a totally different direction. 

“Where are we going?” you asked.

He didn’t reply. He remained silent even when the car stopped in front of a huge modern building, taking you into the elevator and, once again, pressing the button to go to the highest floor. 

You were in awe when you entered a place as luxurious as the presidential suite, but more homelike. It was a spacious penthouse, with minimum decoration, like it had been recently purchased, with enormous windows that allowed you to see the ocean.

“I’m listening,” Chenle said dryly, standing in front of the window and watching the striking view.

You stood behind him, taking a deep breath in to brace yourself. “There’s something you must know,” you started saying.

He kept his eyes on the view, waiting for you to continue.

“I’m part siren. Sirens can control people’s minds with their voices…and I did that to you.”

He clenched his jaw but remained silent, 

“Everytime you came too close I made you believe that you didn’t actually want that. I treated you like shit to keep you under control, but the truth was that I was afraid of what would happen if we went further. I’m sorry,” you finally said. 

He turned around, glaring at you. “You’re sorry? Do you think you can use and humiliate someone repeatedly and then just say you’re sorry?”

You shook your head. “I know what I did was awful. That’s why I ended things; so you can forget about me and move on.”

“That’s your way of fixing things?” He laughed humorlessly. “Imagine someone broke your leg and then they put a fucking sticker on it, telling you to forget about it. Can you go run a marathon?”

“...That’s not the same–”

“That’s what it felt like to me,” he insisted. “You broke me every time you told me I didn’t deserve you. Everytime you made me say what we had wasn’t special. You don’t get to step on me like that and then tell me to move on.”

“I’m trying to do what’s right.”

“No. You’re doing what’s easier.” 

“Chenle I–,” you sighed. “I’m leaving in three days. There’s nothing I can do for you at this point.”

He met your gaze with eyes that reflected a storm of emotions. 

“There’s something,” he said firmly. “Kiss me.”

A shiver ran down your spine. There was nothing you would like more than to kiss him. “Wouldn’t that make things worse?” you asked apprehensive.

“The person I imprinted on used me for months and is leaving in 3 days. Things can’t possibly get worse for me,” Chenle deadpanned. He stared at your lips and took one of your hands tenderly. “Can you let me have just one moment with you that feels real? Without the lies and the mind games?”

You breathed out against his lips. “O-okay…”

Chenle’s lips were on yours, slow and hot. You felt like you were floating. It had been so long since the last time you were this close to him, you had forgotten how well his lips fit into yours, how gratifying his body felt against yours, how easily he could turn you on with his fingertips barely grazing your skin.

You couldn’t remember why you turned down his touch in the past when it was clearly what you needed the most–even the body ache you had woken up with was subsiding thanks to his ministrations.

It was the little moan that escaped you what brought you back to reality by the time he had taken your shirt off and was kissing your chest while playing with the strap of your bra.

“Chenle,” you moaned when he unclasped your bra and attached his lips to your tits. “I t-think we should stop now–”

He ignored your concerns, sucking on your nipple languidly. 

“Ooh– Chenle I’m serious,” you started to panic at how dangerously good you were starting to feel. With how sensitive you were since you imprinted on him and how much you had been craving for him it wouldn’t take long for you to climax…and that’s a luxury you couldn’t afford if you were to leave with the crew in a couple of days.

“Don’t be like that,” he cooed, unbuttoning your jeans. “You hardly ever allowed me to touch you during our encounters. You can’t expect me to be satisfied with just a kiss when this could be the last time I see you.”

“T-then how about I make y-you feel good instead?” you offered nervously, trying to pull his hands away from you, but he quickly slapped your hands away.

“I don’t think so. We did things your way many times already. It’s my turn to make you cum,” he declared, pulling your pants down hastily.

“NO! WAIT!” you shrieked, grabbing his hands with all your strength.

Chenle stared into your eyes intently. “There’s that terrified expression again,” he uttered. “It’s almost like you don’t want to cum. But that would be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?” he taunted. “Unless there’s something you aren’t telling me…”

You gulped.You indeed hadn’t told him you imprinted on him and what the consequences of an orgasm would be. “I…I just–That’s n-not why I came here–”

“What’s so terrifying about me making you cum, hmm?” he inquired darkly, like he already knew the answer, cornering you against the window glass. “If you don’t give me a good reason I won’t stop.”

You couldn’t tell him, because if you did then you were 100% sure he wouldn’t stop. You didn’t want to do this again, but you didn’t see any other way out right now.

“Pup, listen to me–” you spoke sweetly but he clasped his hand on your mouth firmly.

“No, you won’t,” he spoke through gritted teeth. “You apologize for bewitching me, but you try to do it again the second things don’t go as you planned?” he asked incredulously. 

You squirmed but he didn't budge.

Chenle hummed, placing his free hand on the front of your neck and tracing his fingers over your throat, drawing what felt like random figures. “What a shame. That was your last chance.” 

You gasped for air when he finally uncovered your mouth, but when you tried to speak again no words came out.

You cleared your throat and opened your mouth again, but even though you were saying words, they didn’t materialize into sounds.

You looked at Chenle in shock, and he smirked back at you.

“It’s not nice, huh? Not being able to say what you want,” he asked rhetorically.

‘What did you do?!’ you tried to ask, but of course once again nothing came out of your mouth. 

Chenle understood your voiceless question though and he chuckled. “Here goes my first confession: I found out about what you were a few days ago. I’ve been thinking of ways to stop you from using that voice on me since then. At first I thought about choking you, but I was so fucking mad at you I was afraid I would end up breaking your neck, so I learned how to cast this little spell on your vocal chords.”

Your eyes widened, remembering how you thought that he was just caressing your neck seconds ago.

“I also know you imprinted on me,” he continued speaking, caressing your face. “And I know what will happen if I make you cum so, naturally, I will make it happen.”

Your instinct kicked in and you pushed him, trying to get away as fast as you could, but he quickly caught you and turned you around, pushing you against the window glass with him hugging you from behind. You shivered when the cold material made contact with your bare chest, and the beautiful city view reminded you of how embarrassingly exposed you were.

Chenle’s hand had already found its way into your panties, and he was pleasuring you skillfully and fast, with only one objective in mind.

“Here goes my second confession: I regret not killing that friend of yours,” he whispered next to your ear, while two of his fingers were buried inside of you. “Can’t believe you let him have you like this before me. It drove me mad to find out what you sound like when you’re cumming while in another man’s arms. But what made me even more furious was that you moaned my name. How fucking shameless can you be?”

You wanted to dig a hole and hide in it forever, but first you needed to run away.

He clicked his tongue when you kicked your leg back aimlessly trying to get him off you. “You’re being so rude when I’m making you feel so good you’re dripping down my hand?” He asked, adding a third finger and making you tighten around him.

You shook your head and tried to look at him over your shoulder, giving him your best puppy eyes.

“Do you really want me to stop?” he asked, stilling his fingers inside of you.

You nodded promptly.

He sighed. “I guess I should respect your wishes just like you respected mine–Oh, right,” he pretended to suddenly remember something important. “You didn’t,” he concluded, fucking his fingers into you fast and hard.

You would have screamed if you could. You were so close and it was both marvelous and horrifying. If you gave in it would change your life forever, so you tried to even your breath and will yourself to think of something else.

“Would you look at that?” Chenle taunted. “I can see your ship from here…It’s a shame they’re too far to see how much of an obedient girl you’re being for me, taking my fingers so well, about to give yourself to me completely.”

You did not want anyone to see you like this, but you tried to remind yourself that this penthouse was on the highest floor in an exclusive neighborhood. Surely no one could see you.

“Mm…should I bite you before or after I get you off?” Chenle asked, placing a wet kiss on your neck.

You squirmed helplessly. At this point you knew you wouldn’t break free, and that your efforts were in vain, but you were too stubborn to accept your fate.

“I’m tired of waiting,” he said, abusing that spot that had you rolling your eyes while using his other hand to rub your clit roughly. “Give it to me now.”

Your ears rang and the city lights in front of you became blurry. You felt like the world was spinning around you while the tingly feeling that sometimes you experienced in your fingertips expanded through your body. 

‘Chenle, Chenle, Chenle’ was the only thought in your mind. His firm hands on your body, his warm respiration on your neck, his expensive cologne invading your nostrils, his luscious voice murmuring words you couldn’t comprehend right now–he was everywhere. The feeling was so overwhelming, unlike any orgasm any man had ever given you before. There was no way back now. You were–

“All mine,” Chenle chuckled, removing his hands from your underwear and placing one of them on your throat to remove the spell. “Was that really so bad?” he asked, turning you around to face him.

You glared at him. “Y-you–,” you coughed and spoke shakily, still riding the neverending aftershoks of your orgasm. “Do you k-know what you just d-did?!”

“I’m fully aware,” he replied nonchalantly.

“I won’t be able to leave, you asshole!” you yelled at him as tears started forming in your eyes. “You ruined my life!”

The hand that was on your neck squeezed your throat.

“Like I said, I know what I did. That’s why I did it,” he grunted. “And just for your information, I only reversed the spell to hear you moan. Not for you to get bratty and annoying, so if you try to bewitch me or yell at me one more time you won’t be speaking until the end of my rut.”

You paled. “Y-your rut?!” you choked out.

“Third confession,” Chenle whispered against your lips. “I chose this night to meet because my rut is scheduled to start anytime soon. And you’re gonna help me through it.”

You kicked his leg just out of pettiness. You knew it probably didn’t hurt much and it wouldn’t get you out of this predicament, but you didn’t know how else to voice your anger.

He gave you an unamused look. “That’s it,” he growled, lifting you in his arms and throwing you over his shoulder unceremoniously. You squirmed, kicked, and hit whatever part of him you could reach but it only seemed to add to the punishment that was coming. 

He opened the door to a bedroom, which was also surrounded by wide windows. Like the living room, it wasn’t fully furnished or decorated, but there was a king size bed in the middle and a nightstand, which was all that Chenle needed right now. 

He sat on the bed and manhandled you so you were lying on your belly on his lap, and before you had the chance to ask anything or complain you felt a sharp pain on your ass.

“You’re going to behave,” he guaranteed, landing another slap that made you gasp. “Even if I have to force you to.”

You tried to keep your mouth shut. If he had reversed the spell because he wanted to hear you moan then you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing a single sound from you.

After spanking you a couple more times he noticed what you were trying to pull.

“Really?” he asked, giving you a particularly hard smack that almost made you give in. “We’ll see about that,” he murmured.

He moved you onto the bed, removed your panties hastily and positioned you so your legs were hanging off the bed while still on your belly. You turned your head around suspiciously but you didn’t see him. You were going to sit up when you felt a pair of firm hands gripping your asscheeks and something warm and wet grazing your inner labia. 

You yelped and Chenle chuckled against your center before diving in.

It had been a long time since someone ate you out from behind; usually you were the one in charge, so being in such a compromising position was humiliating yet he was making you feel so good…

No. You couldn’t let him know you were enjoying this. You bit your lip and grasped onto the bed sheets desperately.

His tongue slid inside of you and he landed another slap on your ass, feeling you clench around the wet muscle. He pulled away for a second to say some cheeky comment, but a malicious kick almost landed on his face.

Furiously, he stood up and climbed on the bed, grabbing you as you were crawling away and forcing you to turn around to face him.

“What the fuck was that?” he growled. 

“Fuck you!” you hissed in response.

“Fucking brat,” he spat, unbuckling his belt and straddling you. “After all you’ve done you think you have the right to be angry?”

“Oh and you’re any better?” you asked indignantly. “You forced an orgasm out of me even though you knew what that implied–”

“Agreed,” he conceded, unbuttoning his pants. “We’re both terrible people and now we’re stuck together, so you might as well get used to it–”

“I may be bonded to you but you don’t own me! I’m sure Yeosang can help me find a way to undo this–Hhmp!” your ranting was interrupted by Chenle grabbing your jaw firmly and  shoving his cock in your mouth, absolutely not in the mood to listen anymore.

“Mm, yeah that’s better,” he hummed, thrusting the head of his cock in and out slowly. “Such a beautiful voice but all that comes out of your mouth is poisonous.”

You tried to complain, but the vibrations only pleased Chenle even more. 

“Yeah, go on, princess,” he encouraged you mockingly, sinking some more of his length into your mouth. 

You shot him a dirty look and hollowed your cheeks to give a hard suck, tasting the salty liquid that the tip oozed.

He moaned and his body bent in pleasure. “Oh yeah?” he sneered, pulling out slightly to thrust back in. “Do your worst, princess, fuck–”

“Hmm,” you moaned around him, stretching your lips and straining your neck to bob your head. 

Chenle felt like his head was spinning. You had pleasured him with your mouth before, but this was different. He had never had so much power over you. It made him feel euphoric. He placed his hands on your head to keep you in place, pulling your hair unintentionally. His mouth hung slack and he fucked your mouth rhythmically.

It took you choking when his cock hit the back of your throat for him to cum in your mouth with a guttural moan, trapping your head between his pelvis and the mattress until you drank every single drop.

With a jaded sigh, he climbed off your chest to start going lower, kissing every corner of your body on the way until he positioned himself with his face between your legs to continue what he had started.

You let out a broken moan when he captured your clit with his mouth and sucked insistently. 

Your legs kicked his back and you pulled his hair angrily but you couldn’t refrain from moaning, much to his delight.  He sucked, and sucked until the stimulation was painful, and almost wished he moved his mouth somewhere else but he was suctioning your clit with obsessive intent, wanting it to feel so good it hurt, wanting to break you.

He alternated between flattening his tongue against you while shaking his head and going back to harsh sucking until your stomach contorts and your mind goes blank, making your legs shake in pleasure.

…Except he doesn’t stop. 

It was the first time he had you cum in his mouth and now he was captivated. He wished you had let him do this sooner. How dare you keep this away from him all this time?! 

“Do it again,” he grumbled against your core  between sloppy licks.

“Are y-haa…are you insane?!” you whined, trying to push him away.

He looked up at you with reddened eyes and growled, slapping your inner thigh.

“I said,” he spoke roughly. “Do it again,” he commanded, getting back to work.

This time he was all over the place, licking and slurping every drop of your release and making you shriek in pleasure and embarrassment. He wouldn’t let any of it go to waste. This belonged to him. You belonged to him. And he would take it as many times as he wanted.

You trembled when he once again focused your clit, like it was his new favorite toy, and circled it with his tongue going clockwise and then counterclockwise, and then flicking it barely with the tip of his tongue.

You whined and the death grip you had on his hair to push him away ended up pushing his head closer to your center.

He moaned appreciatively and let you fuck his face until he heard you gasp brokenly, so he sucked hard, bringing you to yet another orgasm. 

Your body relaxed on the bed while he cleaned you up with his tongue languidly, making you wince and convulse sporadically. 

Once he finally licked all he could find, he climbed back up so he was face to face with you.

“I hate you,” you croaked.

“Yeah?” he purred, kissing you, letting you taste yourself on his lips. “I don’t think you do…And even if you did, that’s too bad, because I’m obsessed with you,” he concluded, diving in for another kiss.

He was right, you didn’t hate him. You were just mad, and scared, but you loved his lips on yours, and the way his body rocked against yours, and his hard cock pushing against your entrance–

“Ah–haaa, fuck–Chenle!” you moaned loudly when he pushed in slowly, stretching you out delightfully. 

He swallowed your moans with his kisses, between hushed praises for taking him so well. 

“My pretty princess…” he breathed out once he bottomed up completely. He grabbed one of your thighs and pushed it up and outwards before rolling his hips experimentally. He starts very slowly, allowing you to feel every vein of his cock dragging against your inner walls and you have no words to describe how good it feels.

His eyes lit up when he hit a spot that made you arch your back, aiming to hit it harder.

“What happened to that fierce attitude?” he teased when you let out a strangled moan.

You only looked at him with wide eyes, grabbing onto his shoulders clumsily without knowing what to do with yourself. Having him inside of you after having consummated the bond made everything feel 10 times more intense. There was nothing you could possibly say to express how good it felt to have your mate’s cock kissing your cervix so divinely. 

“Poor Y/N,” Chenle spoke condescendingly, using his thumb to wipe some drool off the corner of your mouth. “Cock so good you can’t speak?”

You try to think of a comeback. You really do, but how could you when he was filling you all the way up and hitting all the right places–at the same time?

He chuckled darkly, snapping his hips hard once, twice and then building up a steady rhythm that had you screaming like he always wanted you to.

“Oh g-god…” was the first coherent sentence you said, throwing your head back.

 “That’s my princess,” he praised, pressing his face into the crook of your neck. “Submitting for her mate–haa…,” he moaned as he nosed along your neck, looking for the right spot to leave his mark.

“C-chenle–” you whined, feeling yourself getting closer the more his pelvis grinded against your clit.

He sank his teeth into your skin and you saw that white pleasure consume you again, making you cum with a silent scream and your legs shake around Chenle’s waist.

He winced when you contracted around his cock, murmuring nonsense about how tight and perfect you were for him while licking the fresh wound on your neck.

You were shaking like a leaf, whispering his name like it was the only thing you knew and he just didn’t stop.

“Fuck! P-please!” you cried out when he pressed his hips against yours harshly and moved them in a circular way before resuming his unrelenting assault. 

You didn’t think you could take any more so you tried to push him away weakly, but he pinned you down by your wrists. 

Both of you knew you weren’t actually trying to rebel anymore, but his wolf loved to show off his strength, making you submit. He had wanted to dominate you the moment he met you, but his rut had turned that want into a need. 

“C-can’t,” you sobbed, but the more you squirmed, the harder he fucked you.

“You’re g-gonna take it,” he grunted, squeezing your wrists and thrusting fast enough to make you see stars. 

Tears slid down your face but you nodded obediently and that sent Chenle into a frenzy. He let go of your wrists to grab onto your waist, sitting up and ramming into you at a speed he didn’t know he was capable of.

“Aah…Haa, fuck, Y/N–my obedient little mate, yeah…” he moaned.

You whined at the praise, letting him fuck every coherent thought out of your head.

“All you have t-to do is take it,” he spoke with slurred words as he impaled you into his cock like a ragdoll. “Let me have you like this,” he emphasized the last word with a hard thrust. “Let me m-make you feel good mm…”

You nodded dumbly while he pounded you on the bed.

“Look this pretty–oh fuck, so pretty for me,” he sounded strained, and his movements were haltering. “Let me g-give you anything you could…oooh anything y-you could possibly want,” he was getting desperate, feeling his knot starting to form was pushing him over the edge. “L-let me…,” he gulped, forcing his knot into you and making you scream. “Oooh Y/N, fuuuck–”

You couldn’t breathe. It was too much. He was too deep, and he was trying to pull you impossibly closer as his cock throbbed inside of you and he finally came with a shaky sigh, shooting endless spurts of cum inside of you.

Your eyes rolled back as he convulsed on top of you, once again pinning your wrists just for show, to remind you he was in charge.

Once both of you came down from your high, Chenle took in the view and beamed with pride. 

You were sprawled out on your back, with his mark on your neck, fucked dumb, submissive, completely overstimulated, impaled on his cock, and full of what soon would be his pups. 

This was what he would wake up to everyday, in this very apartment he had bought for both of you.

Meanwhile, on the ship, Captain Hongjoong put his spyglass down and walked away from the window, letting out an impressed whistle.

“Seongwha, make preparations for a farewell party,” he requested, sitting on his chair and putting his feet on the table. “Looks like Y/N’s staying in this town.”

“You’re so mean,” Seongwha replied, unimpressed. “You knew this would happen when you sent her to speak with him.”

“She’ll thank me one day,” Hongjoong assured him, winking playfully.

[a-tiny-thing]

(67) Days of Whatever the Fuck that Was (PART 1.)

Summary: Chenle wasn't interested in committed relationships until he met the one. The problem is that now she is the one who doesn't want to commit to him.

Pairing: Werewolf! Chenle x Siren! Female reader

Warnings: OOff where do I start. Things get dubious, and even a bit non-conish sometimes so do not read if that's not something you're into. A lot of mind games, manipulation, gaslighting, and all the red flags you can think of. Y/N is MEAN. Also, this is super long so i had to make two separate posts. Read both if you want to know how it ends! SMUT.

Chenle didn’t understand why everyone said they had such a hard time trying to get their mates to accept them. All his pack brothers told horrendous stories about how hard it was to approach, confess, and get together with their destined person (except for Haechan, who found the whole ‘bugging her every day until she says yes´ approach normal). So far, all their mates had not been wolves like them, so it made sense that they didn’t immediately believe them, nor did they want to compromise to be with them for life. 

But Chenle? Chenle had his mate in his arms right now, not even five minutes after first laying eyes on her, kissing him and giggling playfully at his dumbfounded but eager state. 

He can barely remember how he got there. He remembers going to this bar that Jisung was ridiculously excited to check out. It was literally inside a ship that was (supposedly) safely anchored and that was accessible through a wooden bridge connected to the port. Rumor had it they served the most exquisite liquors from all around the world and they never stayed in the same town for more than a couple of months. Chenle found the concept of a wandering floating bar clever, especially because paying for a spot to park a ship wasn’t as expensive as renting a place on land and getting it ready for the business. He had some concerns regarding the legal permits to sell alcohol in different cities and countries, though.

 He was thinking about all the technical details that opening a business like this required while trying to decide what to order when he locked eyes with the bartender– the most beautiful creature he had ever seen– and he forgot how to speak, so he just looked at you dumbly as your lips moved delicately, asking him who knows what. 

You thought maybe he was new to drinking, so you leaned forward over the bar and pointed at some options on the menu, avoiding the ones that contained hard liquor. 

“Are you a beer-only type of person? This one is a little bitter but a lot of our regulars like it,” you tried to speak over the loud music. When he didn’t reply you tried again. “If you prefer something sweet there are a few cocktails that I could recommend but they are kinda strong–,” You looked up and saw that you had been talking to a wall the entire time; he wasn’t even looking at the menu. Instead, his eyes moved hesitantly from your lips to your neck and finally, your breasts, which were barely covered by your low-cut top, and had him salivating. 

He finally looked up when you scoffed. 

“That’s not really on the menu,” you teased him. You weren’t mad. You often got hit on during your shift, and you quite enjoyed the attention when it came from attractive young men. And this one was incredibly attractive. 

He cleared his throat. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to stare–”

“Do they look good?” you asked, tilting your head and crossing your arms under your chest, making your tits look even prettier. 

He swallowed a groan and forced his eyes to look back into yours after taking a quick look. So you were a tease, huh? He could deal with that. “Yes,” he said, suddenly sounding very confident. “But they would look prettier with my mouth on them.”

You were taken aback by the change of demeanor, but you couldn’t deny it sounded tempting. You had had your fair share of one-night stands, most of them fun, some of them not so much, but you had never wanted to kiss someone you had just met this badly. 

“Sangie,” you turned and called for your coworker who was cleaning some glasses. “Can I take a short toilet break?”

Yeosang smirked knowingly and nodded. There weren’t many customers right now, so he could handle them just fine. Plus, it was the first time he saw you taking the initiative to go with someone, which had to mean you really liked that lucky guy. 

“Thanks! Love ya!” you said, leaving your workstation and grabbing the stranger’s hand, who let you guide him without even thinking about his friend waiting for him at the table. 

And now he was pressed against the wall of a restroom as you assaulted his lips until he felt light-headed. The way the ocean waves rocked the ship didn’t help. He felt drunk already and he hadn’t tried a single drop of alcohol. 

“What’s your name?” he asked in between kisses.

“Y/N,” you replied, pecking his lips. “And you are…?”

“Chenle,” he said, chasing your mouth. “Zhong,” he added. He thought you had to know his family name as well since it would be yours one day. 

You giggled against his lips and his heart skipped a beat. 

And then he almost had a heart attack when you placed his hand on your breast. 

“I thought you were gonna make them look prettier, Chenle Zhong” you taunted. 

He let out a sound that was between a laugh and a scoff. He would fix your attitude later, right now he was feeling too good to be mad about it.

He squeezed your breasts while he trailed your neck with wet kisses.

You sighed and closed your eyes in delight, waiting for him to fulfill his promise, but he was taking his sweet time with your neck. 

“Hey,” you tried to get his attention to no avail. “I can’t be here all night, you know?” you informed him, laughing. 

Either he didn’t hear you or he decided to completely ignore you because he seemed fixated on nibbling the soft skin on the crook of your neck.  

You normally wouldn’t mind some of that for foreplay, but you had to get back to work at some point. Not only that, but the constant licking and sucking on the same spot was starting to get painful.

“Chenle,” you hissed, tapping at his shoulder insistently, but instead of stopping he opened his mouth wider and you felt sharp teeth scratching the surface his tongue had abused before. “Chenle, stop!” you demanded, grabbing a handful of his hair and finally pulling his head back. “What are you doing?!” you asked him, holding him in place and using your other hand to soothe the sensitive patch of skin. 

He groaned and stared at you defiantly. “Let me go.”

“ You’ve  been sucking on my neck for five minutes.”

“I found the right spot,” he argued, trying to dive in again, and grunting when you pulled his hair harder. 

“Right spot for what?” you asked, baffled. 

“To bite you,” he replied, rolling his eyes like you had asked the dumbest question ever.

“...Nice, but that won’t get me off,” you explained. “So can we move on?”

His reddened eyes (had they always been red?) squinted at you. “My mate has a sassy mouth, huh? Let me make it official and then I’ll get you off all you want,” he offered, aiming for your neck and letting out a frustrated sigh when you stopped him again.

“I’m no one’s mate. What the fuck are you on about?” you asked in disbelief.

“You asked for my ID before I could order a drink, right? What species did it say I was?” he tried to explain as kindly as he could, but he sounded like an exhausted elementary school teacher. He was losing his patience and it was getting really hard to be coherent. 

“A werewolf, but–,” you stopped mid-sentence and your eyes widened in realization. “Oh…”

“Yes, ‘Oh’,” he echoed. “So why do you think I need to bite your neck?”

“…You imprinted on me?” you whispered, gulping.

“Smart girl,” he cooed, pecking your lips and making you blush at the unexpected praise.

Once again he started kissing your neck, teeth grazing against the skin threateningly. When you tried to pull his hair again he growled, opting for pinning both your hands on the wall.

“This is what’s going to happen,” he whispered next to your ear. “After I mark you, we’re going somewhere more…hygienic and comfortable, where we can mate properly. Once my rut is over, if you can walk, we’re going on a date to discuss the details of our future together. Marriage is a must, but pretty much everything else is negotiable. Do you like diamonds?” he recited like he had been preparing this script for a long time.

“Absolutely no—”

“No diamonds?” He asked skeptically, thinking you were rejecting his gemstone choice instead of his whole plan. The way you squirmed didn’t seem to give him a clue of your thoughts either, because all he did was pin both your hands together on top of your head with one of his hands while the other grabbed your jaw firmly to keep you in place. “I guess there are other options, but diamonds are the most durable…” he mumbled.

“I have no intention of—”

“What type of house would you like? If you don’t like any of the properties on sale we can get one designed and built to suit your taste. Anything for you. You’ll get anything you want as long as you’re mine,” he continued like he couldn’t hear you. He wasn’t one to lose his mind easily, but you smelled of sea salt, coconut, and vanilla and he couldn’t think of anything else besides having you by his side and spoiling you.

Your heart sprinted. This stranger was about to make you his for the rest of your life. He was certainly handsome, but you had no intention of settling down. There was a reason you worked in a wandering bar! You couldn’t stay in just one place and belong to one person. 

You tried to reason with him, but your pleas fell on deaf ears. All he did was whisper reassuring words as he prepared to sink his fangs on you.

“C-can you at least look at me first?” you begged.

You don’t know if it was your desperate tone or the way your body was trembling but he miraculously decided to grant you something, lifting his head to look into your eyes.

And his eyes were so full of adoration.

It almost made you feel guilty for what you were about to do.

…Almost.

You had promised your captain not to lure anyone into doing something you wanted again, but this was an emergency. 

“Chenle Zhong,” you called his name sweetly, the sweetest he’s heard from you so far. “You don’t want to mark me,” you assured him.

His brows furrowed.

“I… I want–,” he tried to look at your neck again.

“Look at me,” you commanded, still using your luring voice. “You don’t want to be with me.”

He shook his head, opening his mouth dumbly without being able to formulate a word.  He seemed confused, like he couldn’t remember what he wanted to say but refused to let you go still. You were impressed. No one had been able to resist your hypnosis and you were sure he would give in soon, but he was putting up a fight. How sweet.

“Let me go,” you instructed softly.

He didn’t reply, but he reluctantly let go of your arms.

“I will get back to work and you will go home,” you informed him.

He nodded slowly, lost in your eyes. 

“What will you do?” you asked.

“I will go home,” he replied monotonously.

“Good boy,” you replied, caressing his cheek. He was so pretty… totally your type but you two didn’t want the same thing, so it was better to end things right now. Ideally, you would have been able to reason with him without bewitching him… but you doubted he would agree with you when his rut was clearly about to hit. “I’m leaving first,” you finally said before unlocking the restroom door and stepping out.

As soon as you walked out you bumped into the guy Chenle had arrived with. His panicked expression made him look like a mom who lost her child at a supermarket and you wondered if he was the reason Chenle’s phone kept vibrating in his pocket while you two made out. 

His widened eyes looked at your neck and his mouth fell open comically. 

“I think your friend had too many drinks,” you said casually, walking past him and pointing at the restroom. “You should take him home.”

The man looked at you suspiciously before rushing into the restroom.

“Had fun?” Yeosang asked casually once you got back to work.

“Not really,” you sighed.

“He wasn’t that good, huh?” he offered you a sympathetic smile after handing a customer a freshly prepared cocktail. 

“No–I mean…I don’t know,” you shrugged. “We just weren’t compatible.”

“Hm…it was certainly quick,” he replied as he saw the man he was talking about being dragged out of the restroom by another guy. “There he goes. Not a heavy drinker I guess–oh,” he stopped mid-sentence to let out a soft gasp and locked eyes with you. “You did not,” he said in disbelief. 

“I did not what?” you asked, feigning innocence and keeping yourself occupied cleaning the already clean bar top.

“Did you do the thing?” he whispered, looking around like he was afraid someone would hear. 

“No,” you lied.

“I don’t remember preparing a single drink for him. And he walked into that restroom with you just fine. Why does he look so lost and dazed?”

You sighed. Of course, Yeosang would be able to tell. He had been raised by merpeople before he was recruited by Hongjoong. Many would believe Yeosang was a siren himself because of his bewitching aura and appearance, but he was human alright. A human who grew up mirroring and understanding siren behavior. It was thanks to him that the captain accepted you as part of the crew when he caught you stealing from him some years ago. Hongjoong would have never been reckless enough to take a half-siren in, but Yeosang seemed so excited to meet you and spend time with someone who wasn’t a complete brute. He gave the crew the most devastating puppy eyes as he asked if they could ‘keep’ you … How could Hongjoong say no to him? 

You had tried to escape a couple of times but Yeosang’s sad face when you got caught always made you feel terrible. You ended up growing fond of him and it didn’t bother you when he asked you if you wanted to help him make a seashell necklace or if you would let him brush your hair. Soon you started feeling comfortable around the others too as you understood that you weren’t a prisoner and that no one had any ill intention toward you. They saw you as part of the team. All you had to do was work at the bar, help keep the ship clean, and follow the captain’s rules.

 Speaking of rules…

“Y/N! Captain said not to!” Yeosang reprimanded you, looking from you to the exit as Chenle and his friend left. 

“It was an emergency!” you hissed.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, scanning you with alarmed eyes but besides the purple marks on your neck, you seemed fine. 

“No,” you rolled your eyes. “I just shouldn’t have tried anything with a werewolf in the first place.”

“...Oh, well…uh-,” he blinked twice, trying to understand the problem. “I didn’t take you for a human supremacist…”

“Wha– I’m not a human supremacist, Yeosang!” you exclaimed, frustrated. “I’m not even fully human myself!”

“Then what was the problem?”

“He imprinted on me,” you disclosed before heading towards a new customer to take their order.

Yeosang’s widened eyes followed your movements. He was still silent even after you prepared the requested drink.

“What?” you asked when you noticed a tiny smile forming on his lips.

“Do you feel the same for him?” he asked you, failing to hide his excitement with the way his eyes glimmered. “Is that why you wanted to be alone with him?”

“What? No! I just wanted to have some fun tonight,” you replied. “Humans don’t have mates.”

“But sirens do,” he said.

Your neck almost snapped as you turned to look at him. “They do?!” you asked in shock. You grew up on land and didn’t know as much as Yeosang about sirens so this was new information for you.

He nodded.  “And you are half siren,” he reminded you.

“I’m mostly human, though,” you shrugged, pretending to inspect the bottles on the shelf. “But just out of curiosity, what does imprinting feel like for sirens?”

Yeosang hummed. “Well, besides the expected attraction and hornyness, you may feel kinda weak if you’re not with your partner. Some sirens get sick.”

You nodded. It should be fine, since you felt perfectly fine, besides the obvious sexual frustration. If you were lucky enough, the effect of the hypnosis would last enough for Chenle to leave you alone until the boat sailed to its next destination.

Meanwhile, Jisung finally managed to get Chenle home. Chenle was cooperating, but his body was acting kind of clumsy and he was running a fever that kept getting worse. 

Thanks to his friend’s zombie-like curt answers, Jisung figured out that Chenle had imprinted on the woman who worked at the bar and that she ‘smelt really good’, but he ‘did not want to mark her at all’ which was very odd for any werewolf who just had his rut triggered due to a fated meeting with their real mate. When Jisung tried to get some clarification, Chenle would simply reply that he needed to get home.

 What scared Jisung the most was that Chenle’s eyes looked empty, like he was dead inside. They had turned red like they usually did when they experienced strong emotions, but they didn’t express anything. 

So as soon as the front door opened and the two youngest were met with the familiar faces of their pack, Jisung asked for help.

“I think we need an exorcist,” he blurted out, fighting tears of terror and holding onto his probably demon-possessed friend’s arm.

“Finally,” Haechan murmured as he sprinted to his room to get his exorcism kit. “My time has come!” he yelled from a distance.

“What would you need an exorcist for?” Jeno asked skeptically. 

“Chenle is not Chenle,” Jisung answered, pointing at Chenle who was standing like a statue next to him. 

“He looks like Chenle to me,” Jeno said. 

“No, no,” Jisung insisted. “There is something wrong with him!”

“Hey, man,” Mark greeted, walking up to Chenle. “You good?”

“Yes,” Chenle said in a monotonous voice.

“Uh…” Mark halted at the unfamiliar tone and exchanged a look with Jisung before continuing. “How was your night?”

“Good,” Chenle murmured, his eyes were on Mark but he wasn’t really looking at him. 

“Really? Uh, t-tell me more,” Mark insisted, trying to get some information. 

Chenle’s eyes squinted momentarily in confusion, not knowing how to answer.

“He doesn’t reply to open questions, ever since I found him in the restroom and dragged him out of the bar,” Jisung clarified. “You have to be specific. Watch this; Chenle, who is Y/N?”

“My mate,” Chenle replied without hesitation, his eyes lighting up for a second. 

“Woah! You found your mate?!” Mark almost screamed. “Congratulations!”

Haechan came back in that moment with a box full of enchanted objects ready to expel the devil from his friend’s body. “What?! Then he’s not possessed, Jisung! He’s probably just daydreaming!”

Jeno laughed and gave Chenle a friendly punch on the arm. “Congratulations!” he said before turning to Jisung and patting his head. “You got us worried for no reason, pup.”

“No, guys, you don’t understand,” Jisung insisted. “Listen to this: Chenle, did you mark Y/N?”

“I don’t want to mark her,” Chenle replied.”I don’t want to be with her.”

Jeno’s eyes widened, Mark’s eyebrows furrowed and Haechan, who was about to walk away with his exorcism kit, turned back, thinking that he may need to intervene after all.

“You don’t want to be with the person you imprinted on?” Haechan repeated.

“ I don’t want to be with her,” Chenle echoed.

“Those are the only full sentences he says,” Jisung whispered with urgency. “That, and that he wants to go home.”

“Well, you are home now,” Jeno informed, placing a gentle hand on Chenle’s shoulder.

Chenle let out a relieved exhale and collapsed on the floor with a loud thud like he had been waiting for that piece of information to shut down.

All four men looked at their passed-out friend in shock until Haechan broke the silence with urgent commands: “Jeno, Mark, hold him still!”

“What for?” Jeno asked, confused.

“I d-don’t think he’s going anywhere…” Mark said.

“Oh, you’re right, why don’t we just let Mr. Demon take their sweet time to consume Chenle’s soul? ” Haechan replied sarcastically. “JUST GRAB HIM!”

Mark and Jeno pinned Chenle’s arms and legs down hesitantly.

“Jisung, help me draw a pentagram around him,” Haechan instructed, handing Jisung a piece of chalk that he took with a trembling hand.

  Jaemin entered through the front door and stared blankly at the scene in front of him. “Is this another episode of ‘just boys being boys’?” he asked, still standing under the doorframe. 

Jeno, Mark, and Haechan exclaimed a bunch of incoherent answers, while Jisung continued sobbing and drawing a circle around Chenle, but somehow Jaemin got the idea and rushed toward Chenle.

“He fainted because he has a fever,” Jaemin sighed after taking his temperature and checking his pulse. “Very intense ruts can cause that. Didn’t you say he just imprinted on someone?”

“But he didn’t sound normal!” Jeno insisted. “He was speaking like he had no soul!”

“BECAUSE A DEMON TOOK IT!” Haechan yelled, making Jisung cry louder.

Jaemin rolled his eyes. “His brain was probably not working properly because of the fever. How many of you can have a normal conversation while in rut?”

The boys sat on the floor in silence, looking at Chenle and then at each other, embarrassed of the collective hysteria that took over them. Jisung was still hiccupping but he calmed down a little.

“He’s not possessed,” Jaemin declared, holding back a laugh. “Now put those candles away and go get him some suppressants and water.”

After that, Chenle’s rut was quite uneventful. Too uneventful.

Taeyong was the first to notice something was off, deciding to enter Chenle’s room after an entire day of not hearing any noise coming from the inside. 

Instead of being met with an incredibly horny and incoherent Chenle humping whatever he could find, he found him lying on the bed as he stared at the roof absentmindedly. 

He called the younger’s name twice. Then he grabbed his shoulders and shook him softly, but Chenle only let out a pathetic whine.

Typically, the best way to reduce the fever that comes with a rut is to get off, as a way to trick their wolf into thinking they were breeding. But Chenle wasn’t interested in getting relief, despite his visible erection. 

He was unresponsive, burning up, and not even trying to do something about it. 

“Chenle, this isn’t your first rut. You know what you gotta do to feel better,” Taeyong reminded him. 

Chenle turned around to lay on his side, looking away from his leader.

“I heard you met your mate. Y/N, wasn’t it?” Taeyong tried a different approach, smiling when Chenle tilted his head towards him slightly with interest. “What is she like?”

“S-she–,” Chenle’s voice was hoarse, so he cleared his throat before speaking again. “She’s perfect…”

Taeyong nodded. “Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Chenle replied curtly. 

“You don’t look like someone who just met the love of his life.”

“Why? Because I’m not behaving like a horndog?” Chenle spat angrily. “I have more class than that.”

“I see,” the leader replied, unimpressed. “Is that the reason you don’t want to mark her or even be with her? Not classy enough for you?”

Chenle groaned. “I just don’t want to! Why do I have to commit to someone I just met?!” he asked defensively. 

The truth was he did not understand why he kept repeating that. He could hear his wolf whimpering painfully in disagreement and his heart throbbing whenever he said he didn’t want to mark you, but for some reason, his brain kept telling him that’s what he wanted. The constant fight between his mind and his body made his head hurt, and his rut was making everything worse. Taeyong’s voice was fading away and his head hurt so much he felt like he would throw up. He couldn’t understand a word that was said to him and honestly, he didn’t want to understand right now. He just wanted to rest, but the room was so hot and it was getting hard to breathe.

He doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but when he woke up he felt less hot than before. As he opened his eyes slowly, he saw Doyoung hovering over him, gently rubbing his face and neck with a wet cloth.

“Hey,” the older one greeted. “How are you feeling?”

Chenle gulped and blinked a couple of times. He was still in pain but he could think a bit more clearly. He noticed he was wearing different clothes, so he assumed his previous clothes were probably drenched with sweat and his pack members had changed him into clean, dry ones.  “G-good.”

“We were going to take you to the hospital if your condition didn’t improve,” Doyoung said. “The entire pack is worried.”

“Sorry,” Chenle said. “I’m fine, it’s just my rut.”

Doyoung, always so perceptive, could tell that something was bothering Chenle, but when he opened his mouth to ask, an enthusiastic knock on the door interrupted him.

“It’s my turn to babysit the pup,” Yuta said energetically, entering the room.

“I don’t need–” Chenle sighed but was quickly cut off by Doyoung.

“Thanks, Yuta! I can’t miss this meeting so I really have to go. He needs to take some medicine at 4. Did you check the group chat? I texted–”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yuta replied, pushing Doyoung out the door. “Just go!” he exclaimed, closing the door and turning towards Chenle. 

Then Chenle heard him lock the door.

“What are you doing?” Chenle asked.

“Why aren’t you jerking off?” Yuta asked straight to the point, asking the question no one had dared to.

“I beg your pardon?” Chenle deadpanned, sitting up and glaring at the older. 

“Why aren’t you making it snow?” Yuta rephrased.

Chenle gave him a disgusted look. 

“You had no problem doing it during past ruts. So what was that about suddenly having too much class for that?” Yuta continued the interrogation.

Great. Taeyong had told everyone.

“I just don’t want to!” he insisted stubbornly. “I’m capable of making my own choices whether my wolf wants it or not.”

“If you won’t listen to your wolf, then at least listen to your body,” Yuta sighed. “The fever will keep coming back unless you take care of yourself.”

“A fever won’t kill me–”

“Doyoung didn’t sleep all night because of how worried he was.”

That shut Chenle up. He didn’t mean to cause trouble. He also wanted his rut to be over but for some reason, it felt wrong to touch himself to the thought of you. After all, you weren’t his. He didn’t want you to be his, right?

“You need to cum, Chenle,” Yuta said firmly.

“...I’m fine,” Chenle murmured, staring at his lap.

“I’ll get you off myself if you don’t.”

Chenle looked up, surprised and enraged. “Wha—,” he yelped, jumping off the bed when he saw Yuta walking towards him. “Hyung, what’s your fucking problem?!”

“You need to cum,” Yuta repeated.

Chenle gulped. “Y-you wouldn’t. You’re mated,” he reminded him.

Yuta nodded. “I already called my mate and asked her for permission. I explained that it was an emergency and I would only do it if you didn’t cooperate. She found it weird,  but in the end, she agreed as long as I only used my hand and never mentioned it again.”

Chenle’s eyes were wide with bewilderment. Yuta was not fucking around. He really was that guy who would help a bro out. “You’re crazy.”

“So I’ve heard,” Yuta conceded. “Now, get over here. The faster we do this, the faster your rut will be over,” he said while he rolled up his sleeves like he was about to perform some surgical procedure.

“NO!” Chenle exclaimed. “I’ll do it myself!”

Yuta raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Go on, then.”

They stared at each other in silence for a whole minute.

“Do you mind…,” Chenle asked vaguely, pointing at the door.

“Nah, I ain’t leaving until you do it.”

“Hyung,” Chenle spoke through gritted teeth. “I promise you I’ll do what I have to do, but please give me some privacy.”

Yuta seemed to think about it for a second and then he made his way to the door, unlocking it and opening it. As he was leaving he spoke again.“Just know that if I don’t hear any fapping sounds I’m coming back–”

“GET OUT!” Chenle yelled, throwing a pillow at the door which closed right in time.“He’s so weird,” he murmured to himself. 

“I heard that!” Yuta yelled from the other side of the door. “That’s not the sound I’m waiting for!”

Chenle groaned. He was incredibly embarrassed to have to touch himself while someone listened, but he knew Yuta wasn’t bluffing and that he wouldn’t leave until he did what he promised he would. 

He stood in the corner of the room that was the furthest from the door and hesitantly palmed himself over his pajama pants. Immediately his back arched and his eyes rolled back.

“F-fuck…” he whispered, pressing his palm against his erection harder. It felt so good to get some friction after holding out for so long.

Why was he avoiding this again?

No, what he was avoiding was not the pleasure itself, but thinking of you to feel said pleasure. He felt like he had no right.

‘No right?!’ huffed an incredulous voice in his head. ‘Who else would have that right if not me? She’s my mate–’

He shook his head and his hand stopped moving. You weren’t his. He didn’t want you to be his, right?

That’s what he had been telling everyone since he met you.

But why did he keep saying that? Why didn’t he want you?

He remembered the taste of your soft lips and his hand resumed its movement as he let out a shaky breath.

How could he not want those lips?

And the way you whimpered when his teeth grazed your neck? 

Oh, hell no. He definitely wanted you.

He pulled his pants down and thrust into his fist.

“Mm…Y/N–ah!” he moaned.

He remembered it now. You had told him that he didn’t want you…and he just went with it?

He let out a sound between a scoff and a laugh as he remembered the conversation. You had dared to tell him what he wanted?

Next time he saw you he would fuck that pretty mouth. That way you wouldn’t repeat such insolent words. 

He gasped, imagining you on your knees with those beautiful eyes glaring at him, full of defiance. 

 You were attracted to him. It was obvious. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have dragged him into the restroom and kissed him stupid. You only showed resistance when he straight-up told you he wanted to mark you.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say to someone he had just met, but Chenle never had been one to beat around the bush. He probably would have told you all that even if he hadn’t entered his rut. 

He wouldn’t let you go that easily next time.

You would be his.

“I want you…” he murmured like he was talking to you. “I want you,” he repeated, this time louder and more secure. “I want you, I want you, I want you—Oooh!” He gasped and his legs trembled as he reached his long-overdue orgasm and white liquid covered his hand. 

He continued stroking his cock lazily as he slid down the wall. 

That was the best orgasm he had ever had. And it had just been a quickie with his hand.

Oh God…he hoped Yuta had left already. He must have, because he couldn’t smell him anymore.

“Y/N,” he whispered. “I want you,” he declared, practicing what he would say next time he saw you. 

His head was clear now and he knew that he had to have you. Whatever possessed him to say he didn’t was gone. 

His hand sped up again, this time without a single ounce of guilt or hesitation, aiming to enjoy every sensation the thought of you was giving him and finishing his rut fast to go back to that damn bar.

And he did just that.

A couple of days later you were taking orders and preparing drinks as usual when a familiar ID card was slid toward you on the counter.

Chenle. 

You tried not to show your nervousness. After all, you had hypnotized him, so he surely wasn’t back for you. He probably just wanted a drink.

You cleared your throat and tried your best to avoid eye contact. “What can I get you?” you asked curtly.

“I want your number,” the familiar voice said.

You looked up, surprised. 

There he was, glaring at you with such intensity you just knew he had managed to escape your spell. In just two days.

“No,” you replied, trying to hide your agitation. 

“No?” he echoed.

“I’m not interested,” you half-lied. Were you interested in him? Yes. Were you interested in a commitment to life with him? No.

“You were interested when I offered to suck on your tits,” he reminded you, making a few people turn their heads in shock.

You were mortified.

“Y/N, Can you get some whiskey from the storage room?” Yeosang’s voice called as he stood in front of you. “I’ll be taking your order, sir.”

You nodded, mentally thanking Yeosang and making your way to the storage room, just to see Chenle trying to follow you by walking around the counter. 

“Sir,” Yeosang spoke harshly this time, as he positioned himself in front of Chenle again. “I said I would be taking your order.”

“I’m not done talking to her,” Chenle said.

“I think you are,” Yeosang replied with a polite smile, crossing his arms and displaying perfectly sculpted muscles.

Chenle didn’t work out as hard as some of his pack members and he had no experience fighting so he knew this guy would probably knock him out with a single hit. But his wolf kept telling him to fight this bartender guy who dared to hide his mate from him. 

“I just want to talk to her,” Chenle spoke through gritted teeth, trying his best to calm himself down.

“Do you want to talk to him?” Yeosang asked you.

You looked at Chenle and then at Yeosang, before sighing and giving Yeosang a short nod. 

“Fine. But over there, where I can see you,” Yeosang warned him, pointing at an empty table in a corner.

“Thank you,” Chenle mumbled before walking to where he was told to go and taking a seat to wait for you. He was a nervous wreck, but he would never admit to it.

“Here,” you said, placing a glass of water in front of him before sitting on the chair next to him. 

“Thanks,” he replied curtly and took a sip of water, trying to remember what he had come to say. It was hard to concentrate when you were looking at him with those captivating eyes.

You also drank some water to calm your nerves as anxious thoughts invaded you. Had he figured out what you had done? If so, you should probably apologize now that he seems to be open to dialogue.

“Sorry,” you both said at the same time.

Both of you seemed surprised at what they heard from the other.

“Uh…,” you stuttered trying to figure out how to continue from there.

“Sorry, did you want to–...” Chenle vaguely gestured for you to speak first.

“No! You first,” you urged.

“Okay, uh…,” he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if I scared you the other day.”

“...Scare me?” you echoed.

He nodded.

“That whole biting thing and the things I said…I won’t lie and say I didn’t mean them. I meant every single word. But I understand that’s not how normal conversations go when you just meet someone. I got carried away.”

You nodded too.

“I would like to start over if you’re okay with that,” he offered hopefully. “We don’t have to do anything like that night. We can just…talk and get to know each other.”

You took another sip of your drink while Chenle waited for your answer.

“I don’t think so,” you finally said, looking away when you saw Chenle’s eyes widen in distress. “I don’t date.”

“You d-don’t…,” Chenle repeated dumbly. “What?! Like at all?!”

You shrugged. “It’s not my thing.”

“Then what did you want from me that night?! A quick fuck?!”

“Yes. Exactly,” you admitted. “You thought you could find a wholesome relationship at a bar? How cute,” you teased him.

“It wouldn’t have mattered where I met you. I would have wanted you regardless,” he replied assertively.

“Mm, thanks,” you replied casually like your heart didn’t beat faster at his words. “But my answer’s still no.”

Chenle froze. What did you mean no? That was ridiculous! How would a wolf survive after being rejected by their mate?!

“We don’t have to call it dating,” he quickly said when he saw you standing up to leave.

You hesitated and looked at Chenle.

“What would you call it, then?” you asked him just out of curiosity, sitting down again. You wouldn’t change your mind regardless.

“Whatever you want,” he bargained, trying to look uninterested when he was actually desperate.

“Whatever I want,” you hummed. “So you’re okay with being fuckbuddies?” 

He was conflicted. He didn’t want that exactly, but if that was his only hope to win you over, he would take it. He would take anything as long as you didn’t cut him off completely. 

“Yes,” he spoke through gritted teeth.

“Hmm.. I don’t know,” you teased him a little more. He was just so cute when he was annoyed. “You’re not really my type.”

He poked his tongue on his cheek. “Why not?”

“You’re not very tall–”

“I’m not short either.”

“You're too impulsive.”

“Says the one who dragged me to the restroom.”

“And you’re younger than me.”

Chenle opened his mouth to speak and then he closed it again. He never told you his age–Oh, right, his ID! 

“So what?” he asked.

“You won’t even ask how old I am?” you taunted him.

“Doesn’t matter. I bet you’re barely a couple of years older. And I would want you even if you were 10 years older. I don’t care.”

“But I care,” you lied.

He leaned closer to you. “Bullshit,” he laughed. Sounding confident for the first time in the conversation. “You knew my age that night when you had me pressed against the restroom wall.”

Your smirk dropped. 

“You were moaning and humping my leg like you couldn’t get enough of me, but now I’m not your type?” he mocked. “I like that you’re playing hard to get. It’s cute,” he admitted. “Now can you drop the act and let me ruin you?”

You gulped.

“What makes you so sure that’s what I want?”

“Oh, please. Your pupils dilated when I said that,” he scoffed. “But what really gave you away was how wet you got as soon as you heard my voice. I can smell it, you know?”

You bit your lip and glared at him. “How do you know it wasn’t because of someone else?”

“Because the scent gets stronger whenever I speak,” he said hoarsely, making you shiver. “I have never met someone so…sensitive to sounds,” he purred, dangerously close to your ear.

 You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes back in bliss. Sirens were indeed sensitive to sound and just like they used their voice to tempt their prey, they felt attracted to melodic voices too.

“It’s not bad, I guess,” you admitted.

“I like your voice too,” Chenle said. “Would love to hear you screaming, though.”

You inhaled sharply.

Chenle smirked triumphantly. Admittedly, he had come to see you to ask you out romantically, not sexually. But this approach seemed to work better with you and he was getting turned on too. “Let’s get out of here,” his sultry voice suggested and by your scent, he knew he had won.

“You’ll have to wait until closing hours,” you said, trying to act coyly even though your legs visibly shook when you stood up. “If you wanna wait here then you have to order something.”

“I’ll get a glass of whichever your favorite liquor is.”

Smooth. He was quite confident now that he was sure you liked him back.

“I only drink luxurious brands,” you lied, trying to intimidate him. “Can you afford it?”

Chenle handed you a black card and chuckled when you gasped. 

“I think I’ll survive,” he said. “By the way, what did you want to apologize for?” He asked, remembering how the whole conversation had started.

“O-oh, just for…leaving you alone in the restroom that night,” you lied. “I’ll go get your drink,” you added and left before he had the chance to reply

“You okay?” Yeosang asked when you went back to the bar counter. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You guys looked close,” he commented teasingly. “Are you sure he’s not your mate?”

“I told you it’s not like that.”

Yeosang shrugged. “You looked tired and kind of pale these last two days but now you suddenly look like you slept 12 hours and had a four-course meal.”

“You’re seeing things, Sangie,” you laughed nervously. 

“Hm… and you haven’t been feeling a tingle on your fingertips right?” Yeosang asked casually.

You almost dropped the glass you were holding. Your fingertips had started tingling the day before for no apparent reason so you had assumed you had an allergic reaction to something.

“Why do you ask?” You inquired.

“It’s one of the signs of siren imprinting,” he replied distractedly as he handed a drink to a customer.

“Why didn’t you mention it when I asked you the other night?!” You asked him urgently.

“I forgot,” he said simply.

“Any other symptoms I should be aware of?” You asked in an irritated tone.

“You said you were sure you weren’t mates, so I don’t think so.”

“Okay, but what if we were mates? What else would I need to know?” You insisted. “Hypothetically,” you added when he gave you an inquisitive look.

“Well, I guess hypothetically, you should be aware that for sirens pleasure is very important and that orgasms strengthen the bond,” he commented. “Once your mate makes you orgasm then you’ll be tied to him forever,” he said.

You scoffed. “So I would belong to any man who makes me cum? That’s ridiculous! I’ve never felt that way after sex.”

“Because none of them was your mate. None of them made your fingers tingle in a funny way, or  feel energized as soon as you saw them, or made you feel like you would explode if you didn’t kiss them—“

“Chenle doesn’t make me feel like that either!” You lied, feeling called out.

“Then you have nothing to worry about, right?” he agreed. “This is all hypothetical.”

“But, hypothetically, if Chenle and I were mates and I wanted to…hang out with him…”

“Hang out as in…having sex?” Yeosang clarified.

“Uh,y-yes,” you replied. “Let’s say I want to have sex with him but I don’t want to consummate the bond. How should I do it?”

“Pleasure, especially orgasms, are what seal the bond between mates. If Chenle is your mate and you want to fool around with him but you don’t want to be tied to him, then all you gotta do is make sure he doesn’t make you cum,” he explained like he had a PhD in this stuff. 

You looked at him, dumbfounded. “I don’t get to feel good?”

“You can if you’re willing to accept him as your forever mate,” he shrugged. “Hypothetically,” he added mockingly. 

He always knew when you were lying, so he was sure you were crazy about Chenle even if you denied it. 

You sighed. “Fuck…”

“Y/N, would it really be that bad?” Yeosang sighed too, trying to understand why you were so against the idea of being in a romantic relationship. “You imprinted on him, and he imprinted on you too. Why not accept and enjoy it?”

“And being stuck in a boring town with a stupid mutt as a companion for the rest of my life?” you hissed. “Sangie, you know me! I can’t stay in one place or be with one person! I’m a free spirit!”

“Then don’t get involved with someone who clearly is serious about you?” Yeosang offered, confused at your dilemma. 

“But I want him so bad!” you whined.

“Then go get him?”

“But I don’t want him forever.”

Yeosang clicked his tongue, expressing disapproval. “You’re so selfish sometimes…”

“I’m literally just a girl,” you countered. “I’m allowed to have fun–Oh, that’s right! I can just stop before I cum, right?” you gasped, excited at the discovery of a loophole.

Yeosang didn’t reply. He shook his head in disbelief and went back to preparing drinks. 

You were too excited to worry about his criticism. Taking orders and stealing glances at Chenle who wouldn’t look away from you during your entire shift. He waited patiently for you to finish working but the anticipation was killing him, and when you finally approached him after cleaning your workstation, he grabbed your hand and took you out of the bar in a hurry, observed by a very conflicted Yeosang. 

Considering he had a black card, you weren’t surprised when you found yourself sitting in a luxurious car that screamed rich. You knew nothing about cars, yet you knew this one was expensive. This guy was a big deal.

“Are you even allowed to drive, pup?” you teased him when he sat in the driver’s seat. It was a dumb question, just aiming to make him feel smaller as a way to gain back your power.

“Put on your seat belt,” he commanded, ignoring your question.

“Ah, I guess you’re still a learner driver,” you said, chuckling. “It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed.”

Before you could blink he was hovering over you, looking into your eyes sternly. 

“Do you have any idea of how hard it is to focus on driving when you’re soaked sitting next to me?” he asked slowly, threateningly. “I’m suffocating on your scent, so sorry if I want to keep you safe while I speed to get us somewhere private.”

Blank.

You couldn’t think of anything to say.

No smart comebacks. No teasing. 

You were sure all that would leave your mouth right now was a pathetic moan, so you opted to keep quiet. 

That seemed to please Chenle. 

“Good girl,” you heard him whisper before a clicking sound told you he had successfully fastened your seat belt. 

He accommodated himself and put on his seat belt before starting the car and driving in complete silence. He was gripping the steering wheel with so much strength that his knuckles were turning white. His jaw was tense and he kept his eyes strictly on the road because he knew if he looked at you he would stop the car and take you right there.

You didn’t say anything either. Aroused yet annoyed at the power he effortlessly held over you. You would find a way to gain control again soon.

When the car stopped, Chenle quickly got off and walked around the vehicle to open the door for you. 

“What a gentleman,” you cooed, back in the game, allowing him to help you out of the car.

“Not for long,” he spoke under his breath, once again taking your hand to drag you into the fanciest hotel you had ever seen. 

You tried not to let it show that you were impressed.

 “I guess your place wasn’t good enough to take me there…,” you taunted once you reached the elevator and he pressed the button with the highest number on it.

“My place is too crowded. But we can go there if you don’t mind the entire pack listening,” he commented, still holding your hand firmly. 

“Like you could make me moan,” you scoffed. 

Chenle huffed. He was so ready to fuck that attitude out of you. “We’re about to find out,” he said, guiding you out of the elevator and into the room he had booked.

You couldn’t help your gasp.

“Is this the presidential suite–?” you turned to ask but were interrupted by Chenle kissing you hotly, pressing your back against the door you had just entered through.

The kiss was wet, unpractised,  desperate. He tasted like liquor and his skill wasn’t perfect, yet it was somehow the best kiss you’d ever had. The lack of air in your lungs and the way his hands held your waist with his hips pressed against yours firmly, made you feel deliciously dizzy and craving for more.

You let out a broken moan and Chenle chuckled. 

“You said I’m not your type and that I can’t make you moan, huh? ” he whispered, pressing his hips harder against yours and making you whine. “I haven’t even done anything, yet you’re enjoying yourself so much,” he cooed, licking your earlobe.

You shivered. “S-shut up–”

“Look at you, so precious,” he continued, moving his hips in a circular motion that had you closing your eyes and moaning louder. “Are you gonna cum just from this?”

Your eyes snapped open in realization and you pushed him away abruptly, almost making him fall on the floor. 

He looked at you with wide eyes, confused and worried. “What? Was I too rough?” he asked. 

You exhaled shakily and tried to regain some composure. If what Yeosang said was true, then you absolutely couldn’t cum. Not by Chenle’s doing. You were going to have some fun with him, make out, and maybe torment him a little bit, but you wouldn’t let him get you off. 

“Did you bring me here to hump me and cum in your pants? What was I expecting from a dumb pup,” you sighed, feigning disappointment. 

He squinted his eyes and clenched his fist.

“I’m feeling charitable today, so I’ll offer you a deal,” you said, smiling sweetly and walking towards the master bedroom, with Chenle tailing you. “I’ll get you off and then you’ll drive me home,” you declared, sitting on the huge bed.

“Get me off?” he repeated dumbly, standing in front of you. “What about you?”

“You think you can get me off?” you sneered. 

“I was about to before you pushed me away,” he growled.

“Please, that was not me about to cum,” you lied. “It’s just a little act us women put on to make guys feel good.”

“I’m sure you were about to–” he insisted.

“Yeah? Do you think you know my body better than me? Why would I have stopped you if I was feeling that good?”

Chenle blinked a couple of times, processing that maybe he had read your body language wrong and disappointed you. He wasn’t crazy experienced, but the few lovers he had had hadn’t complained. Surely he couldn’t be that bad…

Or could he?

Oh no…You had agreed to meet with him only for sex and he couldn’t even do that, right? Fuck, he couldn’t lose you now. He would do anything.

“Let me try again,” he proposed, climbing on the bed and trying to kiss you, but you turned away.

“If you’re not going to follow my rules, I’m leaving,” you threatened.

His eye twitched. He wanted to spank you until your ass turned red and pound you on the bed until you behaved. He wasn’t one to take orders. But he wanted to do things right with you. Now that he was thinking somewhat clearly, he wanted you to be with him willingly, instead of biting you and forcing you into a relationship. He wanted you to want him. And if that meant he had to lower his head for now and re-learn all he knew about sex, then so be it.

“What do you want me to do?” he finally asked. 

“Just be a good pup and take your pants off for me, will you?” you asked and giggled. That little giggle that drove Chenle crazy.

He cringed at the pet name but he did as he was told, standing up and unbuckling his belt. You loved your men obedient, but even if his actions were compliant, his eyes failed to hide his obstinate nature. Anyone could tell he wasn’t used to submitting to anyone.

You smirked, willing yourself to pester him with some other brazen comment when the sound of his belt and pants hitting the floor brought your attention toward his barely covered center. 

Shocking. Scandalous. Massive.

The pair of gray boxers could barely contain what was in there. 

You had seen big before, but not this big. 

“What now?” Chenle deadpanned. He wasn’t loving this situation.

“What now?” you laughed, swallowing back the saliva that pooled in your mouth when you were daydreaming about his cock. “There’s already a stain of precum on your underwear. I think you could cum without me doing anything at all.”

Chenle sighed, frustrated. “Look, if you don’t want to do this–”

“Come closer,” you commanded.

Chenle bit his lower lip. He wanted to say so many things, but he controlled himself and walked until he was mere centimeters away from you. 

Ignoring his blazing glare, you hooked your index fingers on the elastic of his boxers and lowered them lazily, hearing his breath stutter. 

There it was. Hard, thick, and huge right in front of your face. 

You hoped Chenle hadn’t noticed your thighs rubbing, or that he magically couldn’t smell your wetness, but when you looked up at him his eyes were glimmering with mischief. He had noticed alright.

Before he could say anything smart, you blew the reddened tip of his cock, making him groan. You gave him a sickeningly sweet smile. “You okay, pup?”

He glared at you, gulping audibly, and gave you a short nod.

“If it’s too much for you,” you purred, tracing the length softly with your fingernails and making him shiver. “We can stop, you know?”

He shook his head. “N-no.”

 You laughed, finally circling him with your fist and giving him a firm tug that made him groan. When you built up a steady rhythm, his knees buckled and his hands quickly landed on your shoulders to avoid completely collapsing. 

Noticing how difficult it was for him to stand while being so overwhelmed with pleasure you stopped your caress to make him an offering. “Climb here,” you instructed, patting at your lap. 

Chenle, who had gasped dramatically at the sudden lack of stimulation, looked at you like you were crazy. 

“You don’t wanna sit on mommy’s lap, pup?” you faked a pout, sitting further back on the bed to make more space for him.

“I’m not a fucking pup!” he snapped. He had tried to be good, but you were stepping over the line. “I’m not a fucking virgin either so stop treating me like one and I don’t care if you’re older than me I’m not calling you mommy.”

You glared at him, unamused. You could just threaten to leave, but seeing how annoyed he was, he would probably let you. And that wasn’t the plan. You still wanted to have some more fun. 

“What a shame,” you sighed, parting your legs just enough for him to catch a whiff of your arousal. “I was getting excited…”

Chenle forgot immediately about his anger, keeping his eyes on your hands that were slowly pulling your skirt up your thighs. 

“Thought that maybe you could make me feel good,” you pouted. “ But I guess I was wrong.”

Chenle shook his head and climbed on the bed. “No, no, I can,” he whispered, pecking your lips. “I’ll make you feel good, ” he promised.

You bit back a smirk, which soon turned into a yelp when Chenle pushed you so you lay flat on your back with him on top of you and slid his hand under your skirt and right into your panties. “C-chenle!”

“Yes,” he whispered against your lips, drunk on your scent. “Yes, I’m here. I’m here for you.” 

“O-oh!” you moaned when his index went straight for your clit and stroked it skillfully. “Oh my g-god–Chenle wait a min–Mmm!”

He hummed in delight. The sounds you made were so beautiful. 

“I’ll make it good this time, okay?” he panted, stroking you faster and making your back arch. “I’ll make you cum for sure,” he guaranteed.

“P-pup, slow down, m´kay? Aah… s-slow…I–fuck…I said I w-wanted to get y-you off, remember?”

“That’s because you think I can’t do the same for you,” he protested. “But I’ll show you I can.” 

Fuck, he was determined. If he was just a random hookup you would appreciate it, but right now that was the last thing you wanted.

“H-hey, Chenle–aah…” you called for him, grabbing the wrist of his hand that was working hard to make you see heaven. “I can’t come j-just like th-aah…” you spoke shakily, trying to discourage him. “Y-you can try a–haa– again n-next time–”

Chenle kissed your lips and hushed you. “You’re close,” he assured you, and he wasn’t wrong. You could feel your toes curling and your abdomen tensing.

It was about to snap.

Oh no. No, no.

You didn’t want to do this to him again, but…

“C-chenle, listen to me,” you caught his attention by grabbing his face with both your hands. “You don’t really want to g-get me off,” you told him, using that alluring voice that always got you what you wanted. 

His movements slowed down. “What are you talking about?” he whispered incredulously. 

“You just want me to m-make you cum and then you’ll be satisfied,” you said like you were reminding him of something he had forgotten, silly him. 

His fingers stilled on your pulsating clit and he seemed lost, like he had no idea what to do with himself now.

“You only want to sleep with me, no strings attached, remember?” you breathed out, relieved that the pleasure was fading away.

“Yes, I…I remember,” he muttered. 

“And we agreed that we would do things my way,” you informed him.

“We did,” he agreed.

“Good pup,” you sighed, pulling his hand out of your panties. “I’ll take care of you, okay?”

He looked at you with furrowed brows. He felt so weird. What you said made sense, but why did it feel wrong?

You bit your lip when you saw a dash of hesitation in his eyes. How come he was so resistant to your hypnosis?  You had to make him stop thinking.

“Relax,” you told him, caressing his still-clothed shoulders, arms, and stomach.

“Somethings’s wrong,” he admitted.

“Nothing’s wrong.” you purred, reaching his member and resuming your touch.

He moaned and almost collapsed on top of you. “Y-Y/N…”

“Relax,” you repeated.

“I…Ooh– I f-feel… like s-something’s missin–ah… ah, ah–Mmm…,” he spoke incoherently, thrusting into your fist.

“Mm? What could be missing?”

“Y/N–”

“Doesn’t it feel good?”

“ ‘S good– so fucking g–Ooooh…” he whined.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” you asked.

“Haa… gonna– y-yeah, ah…,” 

“Then cum,” you encouraged.

He hid his face in the crook of your neck and came with a choked moan, convulsing on top of you and spilling all over your hand. 

You had to use a massive amount of self-control to avoid cumming at the sight. He sounded and looked beautiful, and even the tiny aftershocks that made his body convulse were kind of cute.

You don’t know what took over you when one of your hands started playing with his hair like you would with a lover. He hummed contently nuzzling your neck.

“My mate,” he murmured sweetly, placing a gentle kiss on your collarbone. 

You froze. That wasn’t very ‘no strings attached’ of him.

“Alright, get dressed,” you instructed, pushing him off you and getting off the bed. “Time to drive me home.”

He looked so vulnerable, naked from the waist down, displaying his spent cock covered in clear liquid, and his face flushed red while he looked at you like a kicked puppy. He opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it again. The feeling that something was off came back but he had no idea what it was.

In the end, he sighed and did as he was told. For some reason, he didn’t feel satisfied at all and he kept overthinking even when he got home.

He didn’t know what to tell everyone when they cornered in the kitchen the next morning.

“You said you would keep me updated so I had my phone with me at all times,” whined Jisung, following Chenle to the table. “But you didn’t text me once! 

“Jisungie was about to go find you,” Renjun sighed. “I told him that if you didn’t text him it was because you were probably busy.”

“I text you guys even if I’m busy!” Jisung complained.

“Really? Do you text us even when you’re balls deep in your girlfriend?” Haechan asked nonchalantly, making Jisung gasp, Mark choke on his cereal and earning a glare from Renjun.

“Language!” Kun warned from the sofa, without looking up from his book. He had arrived from one of his trips a few days ago and he was not impressed by how much the pack’s manners had worsened. 

“Sorry,” Haechan said even though everyone knew he wasn’t sorry.

“Is t-that what you were…” Jisung tried to ask Chenle, blushing and stuttering.

“What?” Asked Chenle, munching on his sandwich.

“Were you… balls deep in Y/N?” Jisung asked shyly, waiting for Kun to reprimand him. But no nagging came. Kun was as silent as the rest of the guys, waiting for Chenle’s answer.

Chenle groaned. “Do you have to say it like that?”

“So you were!” Haechan accused, getting ready to celebrate another successful love story in the pack.

“No!” Chenle groaned. “I was with her, but we didn’t get that far.”

“How far did you get?” Haechan asked.

“You don’t have to answer that,” Renjun said.

But Chenle knew they would pester him until he spilled the tea.

“We talked and we made a deal,” He said, omitting that you had completely dominated him.

“What type of deal?” Mark asked.

He was hoping Renjun told him he didn’t have to answer this one either, but Renjun seemed curious too.

“We agreed to get to know each other physically, for now,” he grumbled.

Everyone’s smiles dropped.

“You mean like sex stuff?” Mark asked awkwardly.

“Yes.”

“But not dating?” Renjun asked, exchanging worried looks with the others.

“…No, we uh—we don’t call it dating.”

“What do you call it, then?” Haechan asked. Even he had stopped eating.

“We’re fuckbuddies…”

Renjun, Mark, Haechand, and Jisung didn’t know if that was good or bad news. 

On the negative side, it could mean that Chenle’s mate didn’t take him seriously and didn’t want a relationship with him.

In a more positive light, she hadn’t completely rejected him.

“That’s great!” Haechan decided it was good news. “It means she’s attracted to you.”

“Yeah,” Mark agreed. “And it can grow into something more as time goes by.”

Renjun remained silent. He wasn’t that optimistic.

“So..” Jisung finally spoke. “You’re sleeping together but you’re not… together?”

Chenle shrugged. “Yeah, we don’t need labels. It’s whatever.”

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Jisung asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Chenle asked, feigning indifference. “I’ve never been a relationship person.”

“But she’s your mate,” Jisung insisted, while the others observed quietly.

“So?”

“Doesn’t she make you want to be a relationship person?!” Jisung asked exasperatedly. 

“We’re fine,” Chenle sighed. “She doesn’t want to date anyone anyways,” he murmured.

Kun’s laugh startled everyone and annoyed the fuck out of Chenle. 

“What’s so funny, gege? He asked.

“You really know nothing about women,” Kun said, grabbing a chair and joining them on the table.

Chenle glared at him. He wanted to tell him that he knew what he needed to know… but he remembered the humiliation of not knowing how to make you feel good and you looking down on him as a sexual partner and he decided that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to hear Kun’s words. “What is it that I don’t know?”

“Have you never watched (500) Days of Summer?” Kun asked.

“OH! I know that one! There’s this girl with really big eyes, right?” Mark replied and Haechan and Jisung started guessing and mispronouncing the name of the actress.

“Does the girl end up  with the main guy?” Kun’s voice interrupted their animated conversation.

“No,” Renjun sighed. This was exactly what he was worried about and he was glad Kun thought the same.

“What’s that stupid movie have to do with me?” Chenle asked.

“Every woman wants a relationship eventually, but they don’t give themselves to just anyone,” Kun explained, not shying away from Chenle’s furious eyes. “If she doesn’t want a relationship it’s because she hasn’t met anyone worth being in a relationship with.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chenle growled.

“She doesn’t see you as a potential partner, so she’ll have fun with you until the man of her dreams steals her away.”

Chenle stood up abruptly, not caring about his elder talking, his half-eaten sandwich, and his friends’ worried eyes. He walked out of the house and slammed the door behind him.

“I didn’t really understand the movie,” Jisung admitted. 

But even he knew that his best friend was in some deep shit.

 Hoping to calm down, Chenle went to the beach for a walk. He needed some fresh air and time to think. And the smell of the ocean reminded him of you, so it helped him lower his anxiety.

He wasn’t just annoyed at what Kun said, but at what he himself kept saying. 

Why did he say what you two had was whatever?

Why did he keep saying he didn’t want a relationship with you? Why didn’t he want it?!

What type of werewolf doesn’t want to commit to his mate?

Younger him would have loved the idea of a hot older woman getting him off without wanting anything in return. It was every teenager’s fantasy.

But he wasn’t a teenager anymore and you weren’t a fantasy. You were the real deal; the woman he was destined to spend the rest of his life with.

He sat on the sand, feeling defeated and tried to collect his thoughts to figure out where this whole ‘I don’t wanna date Y/N’ thing came from.

First,, he met you at the bar and he made it very clear he wanted to mark you and even marry you.

Then you told him that’s not what he actually wanted and he agreed.

During his rut, he came to his senses and decided to ask you out properly.

He did ask you out. You said no, but you were open to casual sex with him.

He didn’t want just sex with you, but he thought that was the only way to spend time with you so he agreed.

You made out and then you pushed him away and told him he couldn’t please you.

You told him he only wanted to get off and nothing else.

He agreed.

Why did he agree?! Why didn’t he make you cum too?!

“What the fuck’s wrong with me?” he groaned.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” You asked Yeosang.

“Nothing,” he replied calmly.

“You sound like you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad. I’m disappointed,” he clarified.

You groaned. “I told him I didn’t want a relationship and he agreed.”

“Did he?” He challenged. “Or did you use your siren voice to convince him?”

You looked away.

“That’s not fair Y/N,” he murmured.

“He agreed before I bewitched him,” you defended yourself.

“Then why did you even have to bewitch him?” He asked, knitting his brows.

“I uh… didn’twannacum,” you barely whispered.

“Huh?”

You licked your lips in annoyance. “To make sure he didn’t make me cum,” you repeated, louder.

Yeosang’s jaw hung open. “Unbelievable.”

“He’s fine,” you rolled your eyes and finished whipping the counter. “I made sure he finished—“

“I’m done,” Yeosang interrupted you. “I don’t wanna talk to you until you understand what the problem is,” he spoke firmly and walked away from you to take a customer’s order.

Your heart broke. In the four years you had known each other Yeosang had never been mad at you. 

You knew he was right. You shouldn’t have done that to Chenle…but you had never liked someone this much. He drove you insane with a desire that was somewhere between sexual and domestic. And that terrified you.

You loved working and traveling on the ship and you didn’t want anything to change. But would it really be that bad to enjoy your time in this town? Once the bar moved to its next destination you wouldn’t see Chenle again and you and Yeosang would go back to normal.

Everything was fine.

After a few nights, you texted Chenle to ask him to meet up after your shift, which he immediately agreed to, picking you up and taking you to the same luxurious room he had booked last time. In a matter of seconds, you had him sitting on the bed half-naked, with you on your knees in front of him, taking as much of his cock as you could in your mouth.

Chenle was taken aback, but once again, he let you do what you wanted. He was hoping that this time he would make you feel good too, and if he was lucky you would stay the night and he would wake up to your sleepy face–

“Fuck,” he hissed when you circled the tip with your tongue, spreading his legs wider. 

You looked up at him and regretted it immediately because the view almost made you cum untouched. He was biting his lip to repress the moans and his eyes were half-lidded, and you thought no one could possibly look this hot.

You closed your eyes to avoid the arousing visual stimulation and focused on his taste only, which was weirdly addicting and made you salivate so much that the blowjob became even sloppier.

“Y/N…” he sighed. “I’m not g-gona last…”

You ignored him and bobbed your head faster. The plan was for him to not last. Not that you wanted this to end fast because you didn’t enjoy it, but because you wanted to get off soon, and for that, you had to go home while memories of Chenle were still fresh to pleasure yourself. 

“Ooh fu–,” Chenle moaned. “Okay, f-fine, I got it– We’ll do it your w-way but,” he gulped and paused to take a deep breath and regain some self-control. “I get to make you feel good too–aaah!” 

You chose that exact moment to deep-throat him.

“Haa…Y/N, fuck, fuck fuuuck,” he whined, daring to place his hands on your head and caress your hair. “Imma….Imma eat y-you out real good after this-Oh!” he lost his train of thought when you choked around him and he came in your mouth as you sucked him dry.

He let out one last broken moan when you released his member. He was panting and looking at you like you were a miracle.

“My turn,” he said darkly, pulling your arm until he had you sitting on his lap, kissing your face and neck all over while he unbuttoned your blouse. 

“I–,” you stuttered. “I’m actually k-kinda tired.”

“Tired?” Chenle stopped his kisses and touches and looked at you in surprise before quickly collecting himself. “That’s okay, you don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of you,” he promised as he finished opening your blouse.

You pulled away, with your blouse completely open, and looked down at a very confused Chenle.

“I’m not really in the mood anymore,” you shrugged and his mouth fell open in shock.

“A-are you sure? Because your scent–”

“Pretty sure. I’ll call a taxi,” you said, grabbing your phone.

“N-no, I’ll…I’ll drive you,” a very defeated Chenle said, slowly getting up and getting dressed. 

Admittedly, you had made him feel very good. Hell, that was better than good, it was mind blowing. But he just couldn’t be satisfied if he was the only one who got to feel good. 

He could smell how aroused you were, and sometimes he felt like he could taste how close you were to cumming. Yet he never had the chance to make it happen. He was afraid that if he didn’t fulfill his duty as a fuckbuddy you would end things real fast.

So he kept showing up whenever you called and doing whatever you wanted for about a month, only to be dismissed whenever he felt like he had you. 

One night he had been particularly lucky; you had him completely naked, on his back, with you wearing only your bra, straddling him and letting him slide just the tip into the most delectable warmth known to him. 

“You’re s-so good,” he muttered, fixated on the way the tip of his cock disappeared inside of you. “So good…” he repeated.

“Yeah? You like it?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. You were more affected than you wanted to admit and you were playing a dangerous game because you had never been this close to cumming during your previous encounters with him. You should stop now and use your hand or mouth like you usually did, but he was stretching you so good.

“I love it,” he groaned, arching his back and licking his lips. “I love you,” he breathed out.

You moaned. For the first time in weeks you moaned.

He had just said he loved you. Three words you didn’t need in this type of relationship but that somehow brought a wave of pleasure to your body and made you lose strength and accidentally go lower, him sinking deeper in you.

Chenle watched in awe how you took more of him and he grasped your hips desperately. 

You looked at each other with wide eyes as you tried to catch your breath.

But this time Chenle reacted faster than you did, snapping his hips up and making your vision go blurry.

Before you had time to recover he did it again. And then again, and again until he had you bouncing on his lap.

“C–Chenle, let m-me…,” you moaned, placing your hands on his lower abdomen to stop him from thrusting up. “Let m-me do it, pup,” you offered, knowing that if he kept it up you would cum soon.

He stared back at you, disobediently, and since you weren’t letting him push his hips up freely, he brought you down, hitting a spot that had you gasping for air.

“Shh…I–I got it,” he spoke through gritted teeth, speeding up and trying to hold back his own orgasm to pleasure you.

Your body tensed in his firm grasp and the volume of your angelic moans escalated.

 A sense of pride filled his chest.

He was making his mate feel good.

He was finally going to make you cum.

“Yes, yes, come on, c-come on, come on,” he muttered urgently.

“NO!” you yelled. “STOP!”

He hesitated momentarily and it was enough for you to break free and run to the bathroom, leaving poor, flustered Chenle on the bed alone.

You entered the bathroom and locked the door behind you, leaning against the door and taking deep breaths to calm down, but the tingling feeling in your center was urgent. You normally waited until you got home to touch yourself after meeting up with Chenle, but your orgasm was right there. You just couldn’t wait.

So you didn’t.

You held your breath and inserted a finger inside of you, trying to get yourself off before Chenle came looking for you–

“Y/N?” 

Fuck.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked from the other side of the door.

“Mmhm, a-all good,” you said quickly, working yourself faster.

“Can you open the door?” he asked worriedly.

“J-just give me a minute,” you spoke a little out of breath and bit your lip to catch any lewd sound that could give you away.

You didn’t hear him say anything else for  a few seconds, but then the door handle shook hastily. He was trying to enter.

“Just a m-minute!” you repeated, closing your eyes at the incoming climax.

“What are you doing?” He growled from the other side, struggling with the handle.

A few whimpers escaped you when your thumb grazed your clit and he banged on the door loudly.

“Open the door!” he commanded. “Y/N I swear to god if you’re doing what I think you’re doing—”

You came with a shaky moan. It wasn’t scandalously loud, but he heard it for sure.

The door you were leaning on opened abruptly and you fell in the same arms that had you shaking earlier. When you looked up you were met with his livid eyes.

He turned you around hastily and brought the hand you had used to pleasure yourself to his face, easily seeing the sticky liquid spread on your fingers. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” he yelled

You were petrified, trying to come up with an excuse for your behavior. Nothing you could possibly say would make sense.

“I was so close to making you come but you ran away just so you could finish yourself in the bathroom?!”

You sighed. “I’ll help you finish now–”

“You think that’s what’s bothering me?!”

“Then what’s bothering you?” you asked dismissively. “Can’t a woman make herself feel good?”

“Of course you can! When you have no one to take care of you–” he let out a frustrated groan. “What I mean is that I’m right here, and I’m dying to make you feel good, but whenever I think I’m doing a good job you run away and take it away from me!”

“Maybe you’re not doing as much of a good job as you think,” you lied.

“Then teach me!” he basically implored. “Tell me what you like for once instead of making me cum as fast as you can and leaving.”

“Chenle,” you spoke more gently, making him look at you, and once again using that voice. “Trust me, you’re getting so much better. Just a few more nights and you’ll have enough experience to be allowed to touch me,” you offered.

His expression became softer, but he still looked hesitant, as he always did whenever you used your powers on him. 

“I can’t let just anyone touch me,” you continued. “You have to earn it, don’t you think?”

“...Earn it?” he echoed, dismally.

“And you’re almost there, pup. But you have to keep doing as I say, okay?”

He nodded slowly and automatically. “Okay…”

“Good pup,” you praised him, caressing his hip. “Now, we can continue–”

“Actually,” he interrupted, gently pushing your hands away. ���I’m kinda tired. Can we call it a night?”

You opened your mouth dumbly. “I…uh–Sure…”

“Thanks,” he murmured. “I’ll drive you home after I take a shower, okay?”

“Okay…,” you agreed, watching him go into the bathroom and close the door.

You tried not to think too much about it, but for the next couple of days, it killed you to think that maybe he was getting bored of you. But how could it be? Didn’t he say he imprinted on you?

You didn’t want to commit to him, but you also didn’t want him to move on from you. 

So when you received a message from Chenle asking if you had some time to hang out you typed your answer so fast anyone who saw you would know you were desperate.

Oh, how the tables had turned.

He picked you up and took you to the hotel as usual. Things seemed to be going the usual way, but when you opened the door you saw that the entire place was gracefully illuminated with candles and there was food on the table.

“What’s all this?” You asked.

“Dinner,” he replied, walking you to the table.

“What’s with the candles?”

“I like candles.”

“Don’t you think it’s too… intimate?” You asked, pointing at the decoration vaguely.

Chenle pulled a chair out and made you sit down by pushing your shoulders firmly. 

“I’ve been inside you. It doesn’t get more intimate than that,” he deadpanned before walking around the table and sitting in front of you.

“Chenle, this looks like a date,” you pointed out.

“I guess it kinda does,” he admitted.

“That’s not part of the deal.”

“Oh? The deal won’t allow us to eat?”

“Not like this,” you said for a lack of better words to explain yourself. “It’s like you’re tricking me into dating you.”

“It’s just food and some wine. Don’t be dramatic,” he said before he started eating.

Hesitantly, you followed. He was right, it didn’t have to be romantic. You could do what you normally do after dinner. And the food was delicious! You enjoyed it so much that you lowered your guard and didn’t mind Chenle’s trivial questions about your life and the things you liked.

He looked more relaxed too after having a normal conversation with you and it made the atmosphere more enjoyable and sensual by the time you reached the bedroom, giggling as you undressed each other.

Chenle was in a great mood; teasing and joking as he climbed on top of you and kissed your face. He was also more obedient than usual letting you do as you pleased and waiting for your permission to touch you.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he laughed breathlessly, one hand by each side of your head to keep himself from crushing you while you pressed a bullet vibrator on the base of his cock.

“Good?” You teased, moving it up slowly until it reached the tip and then back to the base, making him moan shamelessly.

“Y-yeah,” he whispered, pecking your lips. “Everything m-‘my princess does f-feels amazing.”

Maybe the wine had taken its toll on you because you low-key liked that petname.

“Your princess?” You giggled, moving the small toy up and down deliberately. 

Chenle’s eyes rolled back in pleasure. “Mhmm, you like that? Y-you wanna be my pretty princess?”

You nodded dumbly, drunk in desire, wine, and—even though you didn’t want to see it—adoration.

“You c—aah…You c-can be my princess anytime, you k-know that, yeah?” He half-moaned, blindly thrusting against the tiny toy you used on him.

“Y-yeah?” You croaked, licking your lips.

“Myeah, and I’ve…mmm fuck right there,” he hissed when you pressed the vibrator right under the head. “I’ve b-been a good p-pup for you, right?”

You nodded. “The best,” you said before giving him a kiss that was a little bit more affectionate than intended.

“Don’t I des— haa… deserve a reward?” He pouted.

You giggled, turning up the intensity of the vibrations and making him whine desperately. 

“Oohh—oh g-god, princess —,” he knitted his brows in concentration, making the biggest effort to say something coherent. “I—aah… I actually wanted—ah!”

“What is it?” You asked, putting the toy away momentarily to not overstimulate the poor wolf and give him the chance to speak.

He took a few deep breaths and looked into your eyes with determination. “Go out with me.”

 You suddenly sobered up and your dreamy smile faltered.  “Chenle, no—“

“Why not?” He croaked. “We have such great chemistry when we spend time together like two normal people. Or did you hate having dinner with me that much?”

“Dinner with you was great,” you assured him. “But that wasn’t our deal.”

“Let’s change the deal,” he pleaded. 

“You said no strings attached,” you reminded him.

“No. You said that,” he accused.

“And you agreed.”

“I don’t know why I agreed!” He admitted. “Y/N, I—I don’t know why I keep saying those things; it makes no sense! I imprinted on you. I crave to be with you in every possible way, not just sexually. Can’t we at least try?” 

“Chenle,” you sighed, feeling terrible. You didn’t mean for things to go this far. You thought any man would be happy with a shallow sexual agreement, but apparently it wasn’t Chenle’s case. You would have to use your voice again. “You don’t really want—Hhmp!“

Chenle’s hand covered your mouth before you could finish speaking. “Don’t,” he begged. “You always say weird stuff and I end up agreeing like an idiot.”

You let out muffled sounds and hit his arms but he didn’t budge. He was terrified of what you would convince him of if he let you speak.

So you quickly grabbed the vibrator that lay forgotten on the bed, turned it on on the highest setting, and pressed it harshly against the leaking tip of his cock.

He gasped and lost his balance and you managed to uncover your mouth and quickly finish your sentence:  “You don’t want me!”

Chenle shook his head, distressed and trying to cover your mouth again, but you kept slapping his hand away while overstimulating his member. That, combined with the wine made his movements clumsy and inefficient. “P-please, d-don’t say tha—aaaah…”

“You don’t want to be with me. You only want me for sex,” you insisted and your voice almost broke when you saw Chenle’s saddening expression.

His imploring eyes finally turned into void ones, as expected when under a siren’s spell.  At the same time, his body tensed and he came with a silent scream, staring into your soul.

You finally turned the toy off and the room was silent.

Then a hot, wet drop landed on your face. You looked up and saw abundant tears coming out of Chenle’s expressionless eyes.

“Chenle?” 

“Yes?” He replied monotonously.

“Why are you crying?” 

He blinked slowly. “I don’t know.”

Your stomach dropped. He looked so calm in his own daze, unaware of how you kept dismissing his feelings. Ignorant of how you kept convincing him of things he didn’t want whenever he tried to connect with you.

Yet he was crying.

Oh no. You had broken him.

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying too.

“What’s wrong?” He asked you quietly.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” you sobbed. “I’m trash—no, I’m worse than trash.”

He hesitantly placed a hand on your back. “No. You’re perfect…,” he assured you, just like he had told his leader a long time ago. Even in his confused state, he couldn’t think of you being anything but perfect. 

You sobbed harder. He deserved better.

You cleaned him up and caressed his hair until he fell asleep. Then you sneaked out, feeling like you didn’t deserve to be around him.

Yeosang was right. You were selfish. 

So you knocked on his door to apologize.

When Yeosang opened the door, he looked very surprised to see you, but he was more concerned about why you were awake and crying at 4AM.

“Y/N?” He asked, grabbing your hand gently. “What’s wrong?”

“Selfish is putting it lightly,” you said.

“Huh?”

“You said I’m selfish. But the truth is worse than that. I’m a bad person, Sangie. You’re right to be disappointed.”

He brought you into his room and closed the door, sitting you on his bed as he kneeled in front of you. “What happened?”

You told him everything. From the first encounter at the bar to what had just happened at the hotel. 

Yeosang listened patiently, calming you down when your voice broke and encouraging you to go on when you sounded ashamed.

“Do you understand the problem now?” he asked.

You nodded, sobbing.

“People are not toys, Y/N.”

“I’m so s-sorry,” you whispered.

“I know. Recognizing your mistake is the first step,” he said, whipping your tears away with his thumb. “Now you need to fix things.”

“H-how?”

“By making a choice,” he confirmed what you were fearing. “Either you accept him–all of him, or you let him go.”

You nodded again. “That sucks.”

He chuckled. “It does,” he agreed, pulling you into a hug. 

“I missed you,” you admitted, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I missed you too,” he said, hugging you tighter. He licked his lips before speaking again. “Sorry for asking this, but… did he make you–”

“Sangie!” you groaned, knowing what he was referring to.

“I’m not being nosy,” he explained quickly. “I know it’s personal, but if I’m asking it’s because it’s important.”

“He d-didn’t make me cum…” you confessed, feeling your face heat up.

“Ever?” he pressed.

“It almost happened many times,” you explained shyly. “But I always managed to stop it.”

“That’s impressive. It’s been about two months,” he calculated.

“Yeah,” you groaned. “Impressive.”

“Remember what I told you about orgasms?” he asked you

“Yeah,” you sighed. “That’s why I kept stopping him before it happened.

“That’s good news. It means you’re not completely tied to him,” he hummed. “Look, I contacted an old friend of mine—a siren. She imprinted once but she and her mate…they just had very different lifestyles. Different goals. So they didn’t consummate the bond.”

“Consummate meaning…?”

“She didn’t reach climax with her potential partner,” he explained. “Both of them went separate ways and never saw each other again. And you know what? She found love again.”

You pulled away from the hug to give him a surprised look. “She imprinted again?”

“No, not exactly,” Yeosang shook his head softly. “Sirens only imprint once in a lifetime. But she met someone else who could make her happy. What I’m trying to say is that you will live a good life no matter what you decide. Even if the goddess Amphitrite chose this guy for you, you can choose to live without him. And you will be fine.”

You bit your lip, deep in thought. 

“Or if you want to stay with him–” Yeosang continued listing your options.

“No,” you whispered. “Not after the way I treated him. The most honorable thing to do is let him go so he can find a good partner.”

“Are you sure?” he asked hesitantly. “You could think it over–”

“No, Sangie…I’ve prolonged this long enough,” you gave him a sad smile. “The sooner I end this the better.”

Poor Chenle had no idea what transpired when he woke up alone in the same hotel room where he always met you, with a terrible hangover and missing you more than ever. He still hadn’t gotten used to the inexplicable emptiness in his chest that he felt every time he separated from you, but today it felt more haunting than usual. Not seeing you in the room made him question if you were ever there, or if you were just a product of Chenle’s imagination. Were you even real? Was he going crazy? 

Thankfully your message took him out of what could have become an anxiety attack. You wanted to meet.

You had never contacted him two days in a row before. But what he found even weirder was that you were asking him to meet during the day. You also told him he didn’t need to book the room, which he found funny, because he owned the hotel, but he omitted that detail.

He went to pick you up at around 5PM, like you had requested, and he was taken aback when you asked him to go on a walk with him instead. If he was in his shifted form, he would be wagging his tail contently at the mere suggestion of sharing such a wholesome moment with you, but human Chenle was good at pretending he didn’t care.

He was so over the moon that he didn’t find it weird when you engaged in small talk and asked trivial questions like how he had slept if he had eaten or what his plans for the weekend were. You never cared much for any interaction with him which wasn’t quick sex, so this was a pleasant surprise for him.

You stopped at the beach. The same deserted beach where Chenle often went when he needed some time alone.

“I love this view,” you commented absentmindedly. “The ocean is the only place that makes me feel at home.”

Chenle took mental note of that. He would make sure to buy a house with the most beautiful ocean view. 

He looked at you and stared in awe at how gorgeous you looked. He was sure it wasn’t the golden hour effect, because you always looked stunning to him.

You turned to look at him and caught him staring, so he cleared his throat and quickly looked away.

“Here,” he said, offering you a small shopping bag that he had been carrying.

“What’s this?” you asked curiously,  opening the bag and taking out a delicate velvet box.

“It’s…for you,” he said, barely audible.

You opened the box and gasped when you saw what was probably the most beautiful and elegant necklace in the whole world. “Why?” you breathed out.

“I just saw it and thought of you.” he shrugged, still speaking very softly, like he was exhausted. 

That was half true. He did choose it because he thought you would look ravishing.

The other reason was that he called Jaemin to ask him what that feeling of emptiness could mean, and he had theorized that it could be because he still hadn’t marked you. Since biting you was out of the question, Jaemin suggested he gave you a little token. It wouldn’t be as permanent as a mark, but his wolf surely would feel more at ease if he saw you carrying something of his. 

Only Chenle would see costly diamond jewelry  as tokens. 

He looked at you attentively, panicking at your sudden loss of words.

“If it doesn’t suit your taste–”

“Let’s end things,” you said.

Now it was Chenle’s turn to be speechless. 

“...W-what?” he asked weakly.

“I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s for the best,” you explained, closing the box in your hand and putting it back in the bag, offering it back to him.

He glared at the bag offendedly. “No, it’s not!” he countered.

“Yes, it is,” you insisted, shaking the bag in your hand closer to him but he took a step back. “This isn’t working.”

“I’ll make it work,” he hissed. “You’re not fucking leaving me.”

“That’s not your choice–”

“Nothing has been my choice!” he yelled. “You’re always bossing me around and doing whatever you want but now it’s suddenly not working?! I didn’t put up with your shit for you to leave me like this–”

“See? You hate the way I treat you, so why do you want to keep this up?!” you asked, once again trying to make him grab the bag, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him instead.

“Because I love you!” he growled. “And you know it, even if you play dumb. I know you see it in the way I look at you, I know you feel it in the way I touch you and I know you’ve heard me moan it when you have your way with me. Sometimes a weird voice in my head tells me that’s not true,and that what we have is just sex, but– that’s not my voice and—” he trailed off, trying to make sense of the opposing ideas he had in his head.  “Yeah, I hate how much of a bitch you are sometimes, but I won’t give up on us, you hear me?!”

You almost gave in. 

But you reminded yourself he deserved better. 

There was one way he may let you go without you having to use 

“I’m not happy with you, Chenle,” you said firmly.

His entire world came crashing down around him. He only reacted when he felt you trying to break free from his grasp. He tightened his hold on you. He was not going to let you go.

“Why not?” he breathed out.

“I’m just not,” you said, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I get nothing out of being with you.”

“I’ll change that. I’ll do anything you say–” he said, swallowing his pride.

“And then what?” you asked coldly. 

“Then we–,” Chenle looked around nervously, and licked his lips, looking for the right thing to say, anything that would make you stay. “We become w-whatever you want us to–”

“So you’re okay with me leaving with my crew when the time comes?” you rolled your eyes. “I’m not staying here, and you’re not coming with me–”

“I’ll go,” he said quickly, squeezing your arm so hard it hurt. “I’ll go wherever you want–”

“I don’t want you to come with me, Chenle, fuck!” you screamed. “I want you to leave me the fuck alone, okay?!”

He froze, finally relaxing his deadly grasp on your forearm. You pulled away carelessly, dropping the precious gift on the sand, and walked away.

Chenle stayed right there for who knows how long.

He doesn’t even remember dragging his feet to get back home while hugging the wrinkled paper bag close to his chest. All he knows is that at some point he was fully clothed under the bed covers, feeling that dreaded emptiness expand inside of him.

[a-tiny-thing]

gelato | lmk

plug!mark x fem!reader — friends to strangers to lovers ft. bestie renjun

summary: a high slip up cost you mark lee years ago, and you’ve spent years burying your memories of him ever since. the universe has other plans for you when your old friend starts a new career, smoking his way back into your life.

wc: 14.4k 18+ mdni

cw: angst, fluff, smut, smoking/weed use (do not interact if uncomfortable, seriously), a tiny bad trip, crying, dry humping, grinding, making out, fingering, unprotected pinv sex w pulling out, tenderrr love making, mutual pining, some jealousy, pet names: baby/love

“wait, that’s so good, what is this?” you take another drag of the joint your friend rolled to see if it would hit as smoothly as the first, and you’re pleased when the smoke goes down just right.

you look over to the man on the other side of the couch, frowning when you realize he isn’t paying attention. “jun?”

renjun looks up from his phone, eyes a little glossed over from his smoke session before you arrived. “what happened?”

you hand him the lit joint. “what did you put in that thing? it’s so good.”

he takes a long drag before grabbing a bag off of his coffee table and tossing it to you. “i know it’s good, i have good taste.”

you roll your eyes at this, studying the bag that landed on your lap. it’s from a brand unfamiliar to you, and you can’t seem to find where it lists the strain name.

“where did you get this? never seen this brand before,” you ask.

renjun hands the joint back to you. “this guy from our college started selling recently. we’ve got some mutual friends, so they recommended him. perfect timing, too.” all the good plugs in your area, including your regular, started moving to bigger cities to try and reach more clients, so you welcome the thought of a new go-to.

“do i know them?” you ask, knowing you share a lot of mutual friends.

“i’m not sure, but his name is mark.”

mark?

your heart drops at the familar name. there are so many of those in the world, but only one you know of from college.

“mark, like mark lee?” renjun raises an eyebrow at your reaction.

“yeah, i think so. do you know him?”

what renjun doesn’t know is your history with mark actually extends much further. “kind of.”

yeah, you know him. you knew him.

it all started your second year of high school, when your teacher assigned him as your seatmate. he was always kind, asking how your day was and lending you pens or textbooks when you forgot yours. it was always casual, but you remember the day things clicked for the two of you so vividly.

you were walking into class early, still a while before the teacher came in, your classmates’ animated chatter around you muffled by the music in your wired earphones. you put your stuff down, still trying to shake the last bit of sleepiness, when a figure came up to greet you.

“oh, shit!” their sudden appearance made you drop your phone, earphones yanked from your ears and phone, leaving the music to play out loud. the source of your surprise crouched down to pick up your phone, hitting pause on the music and standing up to reveal your seatmate.

“hey, i’m so sorry about that, didn’t mean to scare you,” mark sheepishly handed you your phone, subtly glancing around you to see if any of your classmates were startled. none of them seemed to care, thankfully.

you waved your hands at his embarrassment. “it’s okay, mark, i was so out of it.” he nodded and turned his attention back to your phone.

“wait, you like that song though?” his embarrassment turned into excitement as you nodded your head, having had it on repeat since it came out.

“yeah, do you?”

“dude.. i LOVE that song, do you listen to their other stuff too?” the little morning mishap had turned into an excited conversation about your shared music taste, continuing well into lunch after it was cut short by the teacher’s arrival.

bonding over shared music taste was just the beginning, and eventually you were attached at the hip, both of you finding it easy to fall into place next to each other. even when you two ended up in separate classes the following school year, your friendship only grew.

he made being his friend so easy, yet so difficult. you found your affections grew to be more than platonic, but how could you not? mark was good-looking with a boyish charm, kind to everyone, funny, and earnest, yet so incredibly humble.

you weren’t the only one who felt like this, though. mark was popular, and why wouldn’t he be? even if he was a little shy or awkward with people he didn’t know well, it just added to his charms. you had lost count of the amount of times he would be called by a random girl and come back with a guilty grimace at yet another instance of having to let someone down.

half of you admired them, wishing you had their same courage to tell mark your own feelings. but, as messed up as it was, the other half of you internally celebrated whenever mark came back with that somber expression, knowing you had the ability to change that.

whenever he was down, the two of you would go out for some gelato at the shop down the street from your school. you always said you’d treat him, but he would always pay, all sorrow wiped completely from his face. because of you. he always came back to you.

you were content being just his friend—his best friend. you continued being his best friend, graduating from high school and ending up at the same local college, still attached at the hip.

with a new setting came new people and new experiences, but there was always one constant, and that was mark lee. that first year was filled with him—planning your class schedules together, going to your respective clubs’ parties, dorm sleepovers; it felt like nothing could disturb the peace.

renjun hands you the joint and you take another hit, a comfortable silence between the two of you as you reminisce further, now starting to feel pangs in your heart.

one of those new experiences you had together came in the form of the drug you currently have in your hand, and it was also the last new experience you had together. the last of your firsts.

you and mark had never considered weed before, but going to college parties and its presence in some of your new friends’ lives had made you curious. you both agreed on wanting to try it together in a more controlled space, and one day you found yourself with him in your dorm, turning an unfamiliar device in your hand.

“is it super strong?” you asked mark nervously, as his senior at his club was the supplier.

“not sure, jae said pens don’t hit too crazy.” he took the pen from you, pressing the button on it experimentally. “he showed me how to do it, so i should probably go first..”

you nodded at this, observing him carefully as he brought it to his lips, pushing the button while sucking in. the pen lit up at the end, and you watched in fascination until you were interrupted by his harsh coughing, smoke flying out around him in a large cloud.

“oh my god, are you okay??” you rushed to get him some water, patting his back as he gulped it down and cleared his throat.

“y-yeah, i’m good.” you peered into his eyes to see them already slightly glossy, unsure if it was from all the coughing or if he was already feeling it. “i just took too much, i think. you try. but try just a little, okay? be careful..”

you took the pen from him nervously, bringing it to your own mouth as you emulated his earlier movements. his round eyes were trained on your every movement. you inhaled the smoke, and to your surprise, the weed didn’t taste anything like the strong scent coming from the back of the many parties you found yourselves at. it was pleasant and the tiniest bit sweet.

you blew the smoke out as mark watched you with his mouth hung open, in shock at how easily you handled it in comparison to his own attempt.

“dude, how did you do that?? you’re a natural!!” he exclaimed, somewhat feeling a sense of pride at his best friend’s weed affinity.

“i don’t know, i kind of just did it? maybe beginner’s luck,” you shrugged. filled with resolve, mark was determined to do it just as smoothly. after many attempts, the two of you laid on your dorm bed, staring at the ceiling as you felt yourselves sinking into your mattress, which felt softer than ever.

“you know what would hit right now?” mark asked, voice a little bit deeper and drawled out. you turned to look at him, only then realizing how close you were.

he looked back at you with a dopey smile. you somehow knew exactly what he was thinking. “gelato,” the two of you said in unison, laughter immediately bursting at the sync.

“the shop is closed.. but markie, what was in that pen?? that was soo much better than i thought weed would be.” if all weed was like that, maybe you’d be down for this stoner life.

mark made an unintelligible excited noise as he sprung up with a bright smile. “WAIT, i knew you would like this. when jaehyun showed me all the carts, i knew i had to get this one. guess what it’s called!”

you locked eyes just as you did before, thinking there was no way it was what you were thinking. mark’s anticipatory look told you it was.

“gelato.”

you gasped, throwing your hands over your mouth as mark nodded his head excitedly. “no fucking way.”

“no, seriously. isn’t that crazy??” again the two of you burst into laughter, your stomach hurting from how much funnier everything seemed to be. as the laughter died down, mark turned to you. “but really, you did so good today.”

you sat up on your bed at his tender voice, feeling slightly dizzy at the unfamiliar feeling of a high, finally getting a good look at mark in this state. he looked as good as ever, a now starting to blossom as he moved beyond the boyish charm.

“you really got it because you thought i’d like it?” you asked, feeling your heart swell a bit. you were so grateful to have a friend like him, to have him in your life.

“of course,” he answered, voice a bit too tender for your heart to take.

the words left your mouth faster than you could catch them. “that’s why i love you.” you slapped your hands over your mouth as you realized you just said.

“i love you, too..?” mark replied, trailing off at the end at your reaction. it was normal to exchange those kinds of words between best friends, but you meant it in a different way even if he didn’t know it. you couldn’t recover from your slip up, the weed hindering your ability to front in any way, mind going blank.

your hands were buried in your face as mark looked at you worriedly. he pried your hands from your face as you tried to hide your teary eyes. “wait, is everything okay?”

you just shook your head yes and turned from him, wanting to get away and act as if nothing happened. his grip was still tight around your wrists, and he was craning his neck to get a good look at you, only now seeing the unshed tears in your eyes.

“no, you aren’t okay, the weed might be too much from you,” mark said as he slowly got up to get his phone, probably to look up what to do when having a bad trip. as if possessed, you pulled him back, not wanting him to leave you.

“wait!” you grabbed him, and he stumbled back into, or onto you. you found yourself in a position doing nothing good for your heart, with mark hovering above you as you leaned on your pillows.

even after years of friendship, he would still sometimes get flustered with things like this, but to your surprise, he stayed still, deep, glossed over eyes locked on yours.

you couldn’t look away—you didn’t want to. you could get lost in those eyes, and you were. you were feeling all types of things you hadn’t felt before. you never allowed yourself to act on your crush, and the substance coursing through your veins was breaking down each mental barrier as the seconds passed.

you were close enough to kiss him—you wanted to. everything seemed to move in slow motion as his face got closer and closer, dark eyes now closing. you didn’t know if you were the one moving or if it was all a figment of your imagination, but the warmth on your lips told you it was all real.

mark’s lips brushed yours, a little unsure at first, but as you melted into him, his lips molded against yours in a way that had your body tingling all over. it felt so right. your heart was beating faster than it ever has, excitement now clouding your mind. does he feel the same way?

the kiss only turned into a full on make out session, the two of you going at it for who knows how long. breathless, you pulled away from him with a dreamy look in your eyes.

only he did not share the same look.

catching his breath and backing away slowly, his eyes were open wide as if he had just seen a ghost. “mark? are you o-”

“i’m so, SO sorry, dude. i-i don’t know why i did that.” he got off the bed completely, grabbing his jacket from your desk. your heart sank as you tried to force any words out.

“i have to go, but, um. i’ll text you. sorry..” was all he said before dashing out the door.

the silence was deafening as you sat there on your bed, all alone, heart heavy as you began to spiral.

it all felt so right for you, but did he not feel the same? you just didn’t know how to feel, your head starting to spin and your body feeling like it wasn’t yours. still so high, but now alone. the tears left your eyes in waves, and your sadness and shock eventually morphed into anger. how could he just leave you in this state?

his pen sat forgotten on your bed. you wanted to throw it straight into the trash, but you couldn’t, instead chucking it into some random drawer to try and give it back to him later.

you could say with confidence that this night was the worst of your life, ending in you crying yourself to sleep, but the aftermath was even worse. you never got to give it back; he never gave you the chance.

mark ignored your texts, avoided you in every space—he couldn’t even make eye contact with you. it hurt, and it felt like you had to start from scratch going into your second year of college.

he was your foundation, and without him it felt like your walls had crumbled. you didn’t have mark to rely on anymore, and everything around you for so long reminded you of that.

that is, until you met renjun.

you had met him in a random art class you decided to take, wanting to make sure you were in the part of campus furthest from where you knew mark would be. the two of you hit it off right away, and he introduced you to some of his friends who would end up being your closest college friends.

one by one, you started to overwrite your memories with mark. you had sworn off weed after that night as well, but you had given in after renjun expressed interest in trying it, but not alone.

you were not going to leave your friend alone in this experience, unlike somebody, and you were glad as it ended up in you and renjun becoming pretty avid stoners.

the memories of mark still stung, but you had enough fun to last a lifetime in college. after you graduated you and renjun stuck in your town, while your other friends moved away, but the love still remained. you were grateful that the universe gave you these friends, even if it had to take one from you first.

the joint has reached its end, and renjun is passed out on the couch, snoring lightly.

you’re fine, everything’s okay. the funny feeling in your chest lingers at the sound of his name, but everything’s okay.

you inspect the bag of weed one more time, finally finding the strain’s name in tiny font on the bottom of the package.

gelato.

you and renjun head to work the following day, rubbing sleep from your eyes. last night’s reminiscing affected you, whether or not you wanted it to.

you’re in between jobs right now, just wanting to take a break to figure out what you want to do. luckily for you, renjun’s cousin, kun, opened a branch of his restaurant down the block from you just a few months ago.

renjun was basically given the role of general manager and was more than happy to give you a job. despite only working there for a few months, you enjoyed it. the restaurant gave a homey feel with regular patrons who never caused any problems. the place was only really busy during peak lunch and dinner hours, but the pay is still fair enough.

the bell at the entrance rings, signaling the entrance of a customer, and you get up from your spot at one of the booths to greet them.

you stop in your tracks when you see who it is.

you must have manifested him too hard during your trip down memory lane, because in front of you stands the one who broke your heart all those years ago. mark lee.

how is it that you haven’t seen him in years, but he shows up this conveniently the second you start thinking about him?

he looks different—more mature. his dark hair is a little longer than how you know he used to prefer, strong features a little bit more rugged than you remember, yet still with a hint of that boyish charm he’d always had. did he grow a little taller?

you realize you’re staring, but he’s staring, too, seemingly just as shocked to be seeing you. you debate turning around and calling renjun to assist him, but you chide yourself at those thoughts.

you aren’t that brokenhearted 18-year old anymore. you are healed, and you are an adult with a job you need to do.

and renjun is on his lunch break, so you have no choice.

“hi, welcome! what can i get you?” you ask, putting on your best customer service voice.

“uh.. pick up order under the name donghyuck?” he says, a little bit of uncertainty laced in his response, maybe at you seemingly having no reaction to him or not remembering him.

donghyuck? you know donghyuck, a regular and friend of renjun who often orders take out. mark lee is definitely not donghyuck. the connection makes you curious, but not curious enough to ask.

“okay, give me one second to check.” you go to the back, hoping the chefs are done putting together the order, wanting this to be over as soon as possible. unfortunately, the chefs were also distracted, engaging in a heated conversation over who knows what during this slow period.

you come back out, giving mark an apologetic smile. “sorry, it’ll be a few minutes. do you mind waiting? you can sit at any of the booths.” he nods, and you turn fully intending to hide in the back until his food is done.

you are stopped by him clearing his throat, still in the same spot he was, and he opens his mouth to speak.

“__?” he mutters lowly, and oh, how your heart betrays you at the sound of your name in his voice. you turn back to him, not knowing what your expression is right now.

“yeah?”

“do you remember me?” how could you ever forget?

“yeah, i do,” is all you can say.

“oh, uh. cool.” the end of that comes out a little rasped and he clears his throat again. “how have you been?” you want so badly for this to be over, wishing that he would’ve just pretended to not know you, but you are polite if anything.

“i’m good, just working here, nothing crazy,” you respond. “and you?”

“good,” he responds, and you want to roll your eyes so badly. he started this awkward conversation and is giving you nothing.

“great! well, i’m gonna check on your food,” you scurry away, grateful for any excuse to be away from him. you scroll on your phone in the back for a few minutes and thank the universe that the chefs are just finishing packing up the food.

when you come back with the food, beckoning him over, mark comes up to you at the cash register, fishing his card out of his wallet as you enter the items into the system.

“do you smoke?” he asks abruptly, and when you make eye contact, he can’t seem to hide that even he’s a little shocked at his own question. you look at him inquisitively, hands paused at the sudden question.

“yeah, i do. why?” you ask. no thanks to you.

“well, i kinda started selling recently. trying to get my foot in the door in this area.” he hands you his credit card as he talks, explaining how selling is a side to his other job.

“oh, cool! good luck with that,” you respond as politely as possible, trying to be prompt. you hand him his card back and receipt to sign, not wanting anything to do with him or this new adventure of his.

he turns the receipt over and scribbles something on it before giving it back to you.

“not sure if you still have my number, i haven’t changed it, but just in case here it is.” you stare at the familiar handwriting. you couldn’t get yourself to delete his number as much as you wanted to, but he doesn’t have to know that.

“i’ll give you a discount, for old time’s sake? just text if you need anything, i deliver.” you nod, thanking him still in the polite tone you’ve maintained this entire time.

“it was nice seeing you, __.”

“you too, mark.”

he picks up his food as he says his goodbyes, turning to walk out the door. once he’s gone, you sit down for a bit, having to process the sudden reunion.

realistically, you should feel angry at the fact that he acted like nothing was wrong, like you were just some acquaintances seeing each other in passing. for old time’s sake? yeah, right.

yet another part of you feels those same butterflies you felt all those years ago, fluttering around in your stomach with hope at the chance to see him again. happy at the fact that he’s talking and looking at you again.

you push those feelings to the back of your mind. you will not be going to mark lee for anything.

renjun finally comes back from his lunch, asking if he missed anything crazy. you shake your head no, and the day passes as you unsuccessfully try to wipe the the town’s new plug from your brain.

the following weekend, you’re smoking again with renjun, milking as much out of his bag of gelato as you possibly can. unfortunately for you, his bag is running really low, and he also really likes it.

“no! just order your own?” he snatches the bag from your hand. “i’ll give you his number, just do it.”

“junnieee, can’t you just order it for me? you get a discount don’t you?” you assume mark is giving discounts while he’s trying to start up his plug career, but renjun looks at you confused.

“discount? what are you talking about? mark’s prices are good, but i didn’t hear about a discount..” he says, eyes narrowing at you suspiciously.

oh shit. you messed up. letting out a sigh, you give in and tell him about the encounter with mark at the restaurant, leaving out all the awkward details and your history together. renjun holds you by the arms, shaking you slightly.

“if he’s offering you the discount, you should order! i can’t believe you’re willingly trying to pay more money,” he scolds.

you shake him off, but you can’t deny that renjun has a point. you did need a plug and a discount would be very easy on your wallet, but again, you didn’t want to go to mark for anything.

“if i order, can you pick it up?” you ask, hoping at least that you wouldn’t have to see mark.

“what am i?? your bitch boy?” renjun asks jokingly, but he looks at you a bit worriedly. “is everything okay? why are you being so weird about this?”

“i’m not!” you object almost too quickly, making renjun even more suspicious. not wanting to explain any further, you decide to just suck it up.

“nevermind, it’s fine. i’ll order it myself,” you say, but you don’t think you actually will.

“order me a couple, too, since you’ve got that discount.”

ugh. you agreed just to get him off your back, but with his order, you’re locked in.

“text him right now or you’ll forget. i know you,” he insists. you’re extra locked in now. you pull out your phone, debating on what to say as renjun rolls another joint for you.

hey, it was nice se- deleted.

hello mark, it’s- deleted.

it’s just a simple text, how hard could it be? you snap a picture of the bag in your hands and send it.

8:02pm you: picture attachment

8:02pm you: hey mark, it’s __. can i order a half of gelato? this brand ^^

you keep it simple, and as soon as you send your text you fling your phone to the other side of the couch, where renjun is. it feels so odd to be texting mark, and part of you feels nervous for his response.

“what the hell?” he says as he eyes your phone. not even a few seconds pass when your phone buzzes, and renjun looks at the lit screen with a smile. “damn, what a good plug, he responded quickly,” renjun remarks, picking up the phone and tossing it back to you.

your phone lands on your lap, and the notification is bright and clear.

8:03pm mark lee: hey __, yeah of course! i can bring it in an hour? what’s your address?

you stare in shock at how eager he is. you were going to suggest later that week for a drop-off time, but it seems like he’s willing and able to come as soon as possible.

“what are you waiting for? just give him my address, he can drop it off here,” renjun instructs. he shakes the contents of the bag, a single nugget falling into his hand. “yeah, you need to tell him right now before my high wears off.”

you sigh, unlocking your phone and opening your messages. at least you won’t be facing him alone if he comes to renjun’s. you type out your response.

8:10pm you: yeah, that works. thank you

8:10pm you: xxxxx xxxx xxxx

8:11pm you: ^^you can drop it off here

8:11pm mark lee: okay, sounds good, see you soon!

8:11pm mark lee: it’s really cold tonight, bring a sweater

8:12pm you: thanks, will do.

you place your phone down, sighing at the thought of seeing him. it’s the first time you’ve texted him in how many years? you were trying to keep it short and to the point, but he was being so nice. so like the mark you knew.

“he’ll be here in an hour,” you tell renjun.

“scoree, let’s finish this last bit then,” he cheers, picking the buds apart and grinding them up. in no time, the two of you are smoked out, just waiting for the time to pass as you try not to think too hard about mark.

what will he say? will he try to talk some more or just drop the weed off and go? will he mention anything about what happened all those years ago?

your thoughts are cut off by a ringing from your phone signaling an incoming call. a goofy picture of mark you thought you deleted from his contact pops up on your phone, and your heart squeezes looking at it. you’ll have to remember to take it off later. you pick up the phone.

“hey, i’m here,” his voice sounds through the speakers. it’s so familiar, yet so different, and it really feels like some high fever dream that mark is calling you and telling you he’s outside, as if nothing ever happened. you’re sure you’ve had actual dreams like this.

“got it, be out in a sec,” you reply and hang up, looking over at renjun. you sigh when you see his eyes closed, familiar snoring leaving his form. “jun, get up, mark’s here,” you say, shaking him awake.

he groans and swats you away. “sleepy. just go get it.”

too tired to argue further and just wanting to get it over with, you grab your wallet and renjun’s keys and pull on your shoes to head outside. as soon as you head out the building doors, you curse as the frigid air meets your skin. you had forgotten to grab a jacket despite mark’s warnings.

that’s the first thing mark seems to notice as he stands outside his car, a big black suv you don’t quite think matches him. but again, you don’t even know the him in front of you. before you can pad down the steps, he jogs lightly over to you, two bags in his hands.

“dude, i told you to bring a jacket, it’s cold as fuck,” he scolds. before you can retort, he moves too fast for your high mind to process, and in a flash he’s pulling off his own jacket to place around your shoulders.

it’s warm, and a familiar smell wafts around you as you stare at him, dazed. you feel as if your mind is short circuiting, defaulting to the settings it had for so long been accustomed to in mark’s presence—undoing so many years of trying to wipe his being from yours.

he steps back a bit from you as he picks up the bags he placed down. “here’s your order,” he says, handing you one bag. “and, uh, i know it’s cold out, but i thought you might like this..” he trails off his sentence, handing you the other bag in his hand.

when you look into it, you feel like you could cry.

in the bag sits a tub of gelato—your favorite flavor to be exact. you’re at a loss for words as you stare down at it. the old shop you used to frequent with the man in front of you had coincidentally closed the year you ended your friendship, taking along the memories with it.

“where did you- how did you get this?” you ask, almost not believing your eyes if not for the cold of the container that permeates your hand as you inspect it.

“they opened up a new shop on the other side of town. is that still your favorite?” you nod, feeling your appetite grow at the thought of the delicious treat.

you look up to thank him, only to see him gazing at you with the same warm eyes you had fallen for all those years ago. eyes a bit too warm for someone who had abandoned you.

the realization snaps you out of your daze, mind finally clearing. what were you doing? you’re letting yourself fall back into place with him when he was the one who pushed you away to begin with. he’d know if it was still your favorite if he stayed, but he didn’t.

you hold the bag with the frozen treat out to him.

“thank you, mark, but i’d appreciate just taking the weed.” he looks at you, then back down at the bag as he takes it back from you gently. he never was good at hiding his emotions, and it seems that hasn’t changed as you see hurt and confusion written clearly on his face.

“oh, sorry.. um..” he mumbles, contemplating what to say next.

“how much do i owe you?” you ask curtly, just wanting to get the hell back inside and smoke until you knock out for the night.

“look, __, can we ta-”

“how. much. mark,” you cut him off, feeling your resolve crumble by the second as he stands in front of you. you’re sick of this “pretending everything is okay” thing he’s doing.

“please.. even just for a few minutes,” he pleads, and the earnest look in his eyes is unchanging. “can i please talk to you?”

“i do-”

“__? is everything okay?” a soft, yet firm voice cuts in.

renjun’s head peeks out of the building doors, and you celebrate internally as your savior comes to join the two of you. you don’t notice the way mark tenses up behind you, gripping the bag in his hand tightly as he gnaws the inside of his lip.

“yeah, jun. it’s all good, just paying now,” you assure. renjun says his greetings to mark, which he returns.

“i woke up and you were gone for a while, so i had to come check,” renjun says, holding his arms around himself as he shivers from the cold. it reminds you of the jacket sitting around your shoulders— one that does not belong to you.

you shrug off the jacket, handing it back to mark. “how much do i owe you?” you ask one last time. mark is pensive, tucking the jacket into his arm.

“…you can have it for free,” he says, awkward smile painted on his face, eyes flitting between you and renjun. “first time deal.” you quickly start to refuse.

“wait, i can’t just do that. seriously mark, how much is it?” you ask, internally pleading with him to just let this deal be done. you don’t want to feel indebted to him in any way, but your friend has other ideas at the prospect of free weed.

“actually, you can! thanks, mark, hope i can get this 100% discount next time, too,” renjun interjects cheerfully. he starts to usher you back into the apartment, saying his goodbyes to mark as he rubs your cold arms up and down. “it’s so cold out here, better get back inside before someone catches a cold.”

you nod, looking back at mark, only to see him gazing at you with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “thank you, mark. goodnight.”

“yeah. goodnight, __. and renjun.” he waves goodbye and parts from the two of you, walking back to his car with not nearly as much energy as he had when coming up to you earlier, rejected bag of gelato in hand.

you don’t know why your heart aches so much as he disappears into his car, but you try to forget all about it as you get ready for another round in renjun’s apartment. when you open the bag containing your weed order, you find a note along with it, your name at the top scribbled in mark’s familiar messy handwriting.

thanks for ordering, talk to you soon :)

-mark

you take the packets of flower out of the bag and throw the note back in. you will not be talking to him soon. as you take a hit of your freshly rolled joint, you hope the smoke dissipating into the air around you takes the images of mark lee along with it.

you hoped you wouldn’t be talking to him soon, but when you get a takeout order under “donghyuck,” you get a bad feeling about who will be picking it up. it’s a monday afternoon, one of your slowest times, and you’re the only one scheduled besides the cooks.

you make sure the kitchen staff has the order ready, hoping that this exchange would be quick, and your bad feeling proves true when a familiar head of dark hair makes its way through your door.

you lock eyes with the bright-eyed man, and he waves bashfully as he comes up to the front.

“hey.”

“hey, for donghyuck, right?” you confirm, already placing some utensils in the bag.

“yeah, wait, how did you know?” he asks, surprised that you mentioned the name before he could.

“you did it last time, too. he’s a regular here and renjun’s friend, so i know you aren’t him.”

“oh, that’s right. yeah, renjun..” he mutters the last part, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. there’s an awkward silence after, and he hands you his card as you ring him up. he speaks up first.

“so, are you and renjun, like, a thing?” he has a talent for making you stop in your tracks, as the shock of his question rings through you.

“what?”

“well, i was thinking the address looked a bit familiar. and you’re living together?” he asked, not fully able to maintain eye contact as he explained his thought process.

you sigh. though you don’t want mark to know anything about you beyond your weed order, you also don’t want renjun caught up in a misunderstanding.

“we’re friends, mark. i have my own apartment somewhere else, i just go over there a lot,” you turn your attention back to the register, printing his receipt and handing it back to him. it’s a familiar interaction, but with a lot more talking this time.

he can’t hide the slight smile on his face as he takes his receipt and card back from you.

“oh, that’s cool!” you can tell he means it now. there’s another bit of silence between the two of you, and you’re hoping he gets the cue to leave.

“well, thanks for ordering and have a good da-”

“wait, __,” he stops you, glancing around to make sure no one’s around. “honestly, can we talk?”

you feel the familiar irritation creeping up your being. “what is there to talk about?” you feign ignorance.

“really?” he grimaces.

“really.” you face him head on.

“look, just give me a chance to apologize, there was just a lot going on and i would like to explain, but not here.”

at this point, the irritation has bubbled up into full blown anger, and you can’t stop yourself from bursting out at him.

“there was a lot going on? yeah, maybe. but when had that ever stopped us from working through things together?? you could’ve told me anything back then, and i would have accepted it.” you feel yourself start to tear up, but you know you can’t let this get too far at work. “you just left, mark, and i never heard from you again. i have nothing to say to you.”

you can see his eyes have glossed over, unable to retort properly. another wave of silence passes between the two of you before he opens his mouth to speak.

“i’m sorry..”

you shake your head and hand him his food.

“you should be. thank you for ordering and have a good day.” with that you spin on your heel, ducking in the back as one of the older cooks, taeil, comes out with a questioning look at the commotion.

you just continue on into the back room and don’t look back even as you hear the bell chime and door shut, pushing back an onset of tears. you slump into one of the chairs, dreading the next few hours of your shift, already more than drained.

“’s that your man?” taeil asks after following you with a look of concern.

“absolutely not.”

“well, he left this on the counter. guessing it’s for you.” he plops the bag in your lap and heads back to the kitchen. you can feel its cold weight as you peer inside to see a familiar treat you had rejected once before.

when you collapse onto your bed after your shift, your mind replays the events from earlier. your heart aches. part of you is proud of yourself for standing your ground, but the other side of you feels for mark. he just wanted a chance to talk to you, to apologize.

but the truth of the matter is that you don’t know how you’d react to an apology if he offered it, and you have a feeling it would be hard for you to keep up the wall you’ve built with him. you don’t want it to be so easy for him, but at the same time you can’t help but feel a little bad for making it so difficult.

you find yourself scrolling through old pictures of the two of you that you never had the heart to delete. he deserves this, you try to convince yourself, but that thought pains you as well. with mark lee, the emotions that follow are always complicated.

whether you like it or not, you know deep down that you still care about him. you tell yourself he’s not a good person, but at your core you know he is, evidenced by the sweet treat sitting in your freezer and every interaction you’ve had since your reunion.

bzzzzzz.

your phone buzzes in your hand, and you curse as it falls onto your face. you lift it up to take a look at who has interrupted your thoughts, and like the first time you reunited, you fear your thoughts have brought him straight to you.

the same goofy picture that you didn’t delete pops up on your phone. you chew on your lip, letting it ring a bit longer before ultimately deciding against your better judgement. with everything you were just thinking, exhausted from the back and forth, you just didn’t have it in you to deny him again.

“hello?”

“hello- hey! __?” you can hear the relief in his voice.

“hi.”

“i’m gonna be honest, i didn’t think you’d pick up.”

“and you still called anyway?” you wince at the bite in your voice.

“look, __. i know you probably don’t want to hear from me, and i know i was a shit friend, but please give me a chance to talk to you. if you don’t want to hear from me ever again or just want weed or whatever after we talk, it’s okay.” you feel your barrier weakening at his pleading.

after a few moments to ponder, you decide to go for it. maybe some closure could be beneficial for both of you.

“okay, when?”

“whe- oh! oh, uh.. didn’t think i’d make it this far,” he laughs nervously, and you can’t help but laugh at that as well, feeling your heart lighten just the tiniest bit.

“i’m free the rest of the night,” you tell him.

“me too, kind of—i actually have some deliveries, do you want to join?”

“if it’s cool with you, sure.”

“more than cool, i’ll be there in 30.” you can hear the smile in his voice, and when you hang up, despite your heart beating out of your chest, you find yourself smiling, too.

“hey.”

“hi.”

you open the door of mark’s black suv and slide into his passenger seat. mark starts up the car only after confirming your seatbelt is on. the car ride is silent for a few minutes, and your leg bobs as you get more impatient by the second. after a good amount of time, he finally speaks up.

“so umm, how was work?” he asks as if he wasn’t there.

“started off really bad because of someone.” he grimaces, hand tightening on the steering wheel. the tense feeling has returned tenfold.

“sorry.. i really didn’t mean to cause any issues at your job, hope you didn’t get in trouble or anything,” he peeks over at you.

“it’s okay, honestly i lost my temper, too. nothing bad happened.” he lets out a sigh of relief at that. “’m not gonna apologize for it though.”

“you don’t have to, i deserved it..” he says, looking a little defeated. “i’m honestly just grateful you even gave me a chance to talk.” for some reason, his words strike a chord in you, and you feel the irritation in your throat starting to spill.

“if you had asked maybe 3 years ago, fuck, even last year—i’d have given a chance in a heartbeat, mark.” any lightheartedness has dissipated quickly as you remember why you are like this in the first place.

“i know—just, running into you, i couldn’t let this chance pass.” all semblance of composure you thought you’d have coming into this conversation has disappeared; just being near him shakes you.

“so you wouldn’t have ever reached out if we didn’t bump into each other?” you retort, feeling your heart break a little. you try to keep your voice strong, but it quivers as you press on. “it’s all just soo convenient??”

“no! w-well, i would’ve eventually. honestly.” he pulls up to a random apartment complex, parking the car. his hands still tightly grip the steering wheel.

“please listen, i’m gonna be honest, okay.” you nod at him as he faces you, face turning red as he looks down. “uhhh.. you know when we, like, kissed?”

you nod.

“that was my first kiss, well my first anything.”

that came as a surprise, given how popular he was and how seasoned that kiss felt. “i had never done anything like that before and we were so high. i just felt like.. i took advantage of you?” he sighs, still unable to meet your eyes.

“no, mark. i’ve never thought of it that way,” you assure.

“i felt like i had crossed a line i never should have and every time i thought of you i just felt so guilty.”

“so you decided to cut me out of your life forever? after years of friendship? you thought i wasn’t someone you could work it out with?” your heart is beating out of your chest and you feel your face heating up as you bite back tears.

“no! it’s not you, ugh, this sounds so stupid but really, it was me! every time i’d make up my mind to approach you i just lost the courage. i just kept imagining that you’d be so disappointed in me, and the longer that went on the worse it was.”

you’re silent at that, just feeling like you want to cry. you want to yell at him, to get even angrier, but you let him talk.

“i know how sad you were when everything happened, and i wanted to make things right—trust me, i really did. but time passed and i missed my chance and i could see you were so happy with your new friends.” he finally meets your eyes, turning fully to you, and there are unshed tears in mark’s eyes as well.

“i’m so sorry, and i wish i had stayed that day. then maybe i wouldn’t have lost you. i missed you so bad, but i-i messed it all up.” his voice cracks a bit. “i know i can’t expect your forgiveness, but if there’s any chance at all, i really want to make it up to you. i want my best friend back.”

your heart breaks as you listen to his apology, and you feel the tears slip out of your eyes at his last sentence. you try to tell yourself that he needs to suffer more for all of this, but you just can’t bring yourself to antagonize him any further.

you realize you might be stupid for forgiving him so easily, but you also wanted your best friend back. you were so tired of being angry, and your 18-year old self is at the back of your mind, pleading with you to just rest. he was stupid, but he’s here now.

you realize he’s fully crying, too. he never used to cry, even at his saddest moments. you place a hand on top of his, and though he flinches at the contact at first, he quickly moves to intertwine his fingers with yours.

you have so much more to say, but you think you’ll have a lot more chances to talk about it. for now, you’ll just be. his thumb caresses the side of your hand. the silence between you isn’t suffocating anymore, it feels right.

“you know, i—”

bzzzzzzzzzzz.

he’s interrupted by his phone lighting up in his pocket, blaring ringtone and vibration filling the car. he looks at you, and you withdraw your hand from his, settling back in your seat. his hand remains where you left it.

“it’s okay, pick it up.”

wordlessly, he does just that, rubbing the tears from his eyes. you hear a man’s voice over the speakers.

“oh shit, sorry. i’m a few minutes away, had a pit stop.” the two of you had forgotten why you were out driving in the first place, mark’s presumed customer asking his whereabouts.

“sorry, we’ll continue this conversation in a bit,” mark assures, putting his phone in his pocket and starting the car back up.

“it’s fine, work is important, mark.” he nods, putting on a random playlist. the short drive to his customer’s apartment complex is quiet apart from the music, but a good kind of quiet that helps you as you let yourself process the conversation.

mark pulls up to the curb, grabbing his supply bag from behind your seat.

“sit tight, i’ll be quick,” he says, jumping out of the car to meet his customer waiting outside their apartment. your eyes follow his form, and you can’t help but tear up again.

this conversation is everything you wanted, and even if it’s coming later than you would have liked it, you can feel a burden being lifted from your chest; your heart feels so much lighter.

at the same time, you can’t deny the feelings blossoming in your chest beyond the relief of having his friendship back. the feelings beyond friendship itself. it’s all so much to think about, and your vision darkens as your thoughts progress.

“hey, __, wake up, we’re at your place.” mark shakes you gently by the shoulder, peering into your face as you come to, blinking away the sleep from your eyes. you dart up from your slumped state, having fallen asleep in the middle of your thoughts.

“oh shit, sorry, didn’t mean to doze off,” you apologize worriedly. “what time is it? how long was i sleeping?”

“it’s all good, i’m done with the deliveries now, so it’s time to head in for the night, getting pretty late.”

when you look around, you realize you are indeed parked in front of your apartment complex. “why didn’t you wake me up?” you ask, slightly embarrassed at having knocked out the entire rest of the night in his car. “let’s pick up where we left off?” you ask, remembering he had been cut off earlier.

you can’t hide your fatigue as a yawn punctuates your question. he chuckles at that, yawning too at the sight of yours.

“you looked too comfy, i didn’t want to disturb,” he says, patting your shoulder. “let’s continue another time, okay?” his hand slides down to rest on top of yours, just as you did to him.

“is it safe to say that there will be another time?” his hand grips yours slightly, and his eyes search yours anxiously. you move to intertwine your fingers with his, just as he did to you.

“yeah, there will be. can’t finish that big tub of gelato by myself.” you can’t keep down your smile, and he grins widely, pulling you into as best of a hug as he can manage over his center console.

“i missed you so much,” he murmurs into the side of your head.

your heart beats wildly as you wrap your arms around him, but it’s a part of your heart that has stood still since the day he left. “i missed you, too.”

it’s a little weird how easily mark integrated back into your life. one day you were erasing his existence from your mind, the next rejecting him to his face, and now every few days you’re sitting in his passenger seat as he makes deliveries or preps orders, always making sure to roll you a joint.

since his apology, the two of you have talked—a lot. catching up on over 4+ years of life takes time, but it seems mark has all the time in the world with how often he’s with you. he always was a yapper, and there’s never a dull moment when you spend time together.

you never found out what he was going to say when the phone call interrupted you, but you think you’re okay not knowing. you try not to bring up the past as much, as does he—it’s like an unspoken agreement that you’re both moving forward. at least that’s what you think.

in reality, you know this may just be another way of coping. having mark back in your life was so beautiful, and you don’t want anything to get weird again. you tell yourself that what’s important will eventually be discussed, but right now you just want to enjoy his presence.

mark being back didn’t automatically propel him back into best friend status. that position was reserved for renjun, and that won’t ever change, and you assure him of this as you catch him up on everything that’s happened, as well as your history with mark.

to your surprise, renjun isn’t too fazed by the news. he’s always had a pretty good intuition. “you see, i knew you were acting weird,” he scolds. “you can’t hide anything from me.”

you smile at him, rubbing his head aggressively. “you are sooo right, my junnie.” the two of you fall into your usual smoking routine.

“do you think i’m dumb for letting him back in so easily?” you ask, high thoughts swirling in your head, and without missing a beat, renjun replies.

“no, not at all.”

“really?” you press, astonished. renjun was always brutally honest, and you thought he might have other thoughts about the whole thing.

“you aren’t dumb and i trust your judgement. it sounds like he’s genuinely sorry, and he’d be the dumb one to not want you in his life.” renjun always knows the best things to say. “as long as he understands i’m still your number 1 friend and respects you, then all is good.”

you nod, pressing your shoulder to his and laying your head on his shoulder. “thank you, junnie.” he rests his head on top of yours.

“no need to thank me,” he says, grinning. he separates from you, facing you with a mischievous look in his eye.

“you know.. the best friend spot is reserved for me, but he could always take the boyfriend spot.” you gasp, smacking him lightly.

“oh my god, no!” being high always makes you more honest, so you just know the embarrassment you’re feeling is written all over your face. “it’s not like that.”

renjun rolls his eyes. “oh sure, and that’s why you’ve deleted every dating app, turned down that date karina mentioned a couple weeks ago, and have mark following you around like a puppy when he gets the chance.” you have nothing to retort—all of those things were true. but you don’t want to ruin anything you have. you lost him once and you’re terrified of that happening again.

“i’m fine with the way things are now, really.” you words are more to assure yourself.

“anyways, let’s smoke smoke?”

he grins. “fuck yeah.”

as always, that choice is a great one, and an hour later the two of you are clutching your stomachs in laughter watching your favorite show. your head feels so light, but not in a bad way, and your body feels glued to the couch.

you don’t hear your phone ringing between you two, but renjun in his own daze answers the incoming call, not even looking at the caller id.

“hello?”

“h-hello? is that you, renjun?” renjun giggles a little as he realizes who it is. “is __ there?”

“yeah, but i wouldn’t say here.” renjun full on cackles as he hands the phone to you. you aren’t exactly there; you’re floating through the universe at the moment.

“helloooo?” you answer. mark’s voice rings through the speakers through your ears as he calls out your name.

“markie,” you sigh out, not noticing how his breath hitches at the old nickname.

“uh— hey.” he recomposes himself. “i was going to ask if you wanted to join me on some deliveries, but it sounds like you’re having fun already.”

a night car ride in this state sounds like heaven to your ears, and you’re agreeing before you know it. “wait. that sounds soo fun right now.” you turn to renjun. “can renjun join also?” you ask mark.

“..yeah, sure,” he says after a moment, and you look at renjun excitedly, who has been listening the entire time.

“i will not be joining, thank you though,” he states bluntly. “i have a morning shift, so i was thinking of heading to bed soon anyways.”

you frown, but nod in understanding, returning back to the call. “renjun’s not coming, actually, going to sleep like a baby.” you tease, hearing mark laugh over the phone.

“so you’re taking my shift?” renjun bites back, and you shut up before returning to the phone call.

“i’ll come get you. renjun’s place or yours?” he asks, and you reply with the former. “got it, see you soon.”

he’s waiting for you outside the apartment complex, and it feels like deja vu with the way he immediately throws his jacket around your shoulders after seeing you in a light sweater. he rubs your upper arms lightly.

“i swear you’re gonna catch a cold if you don’t start wearing warmer clothes at this time of the night.” he moves to walk with you to his car, but the warmth from both his jacket and touch remain on your form.

he opens the passenger door for you, waiting until you’re settled before closing it and moving to the driver’s seat. he starts driving, and the two of you fall into the same comfortable conversation before it quiets for a moment.

“how were you planning on getting home tonight?” he asks, unaware at how you tend to stay at renjun’s quite often. you haven’t been staying as much since you started hanging out with mark again, but you wanted to make sure you still had time for your best friend.

“i was planning on staying at renjun’s, i’ve left so much of my shit there i don’t even bring an overnight bag anymore,” you laugh, but mark isn’t laughing with you. “i probably would have knocked out in the next 10 minutes if you didn’t call.”

mark is silent for a second before chuckling lightly, matching your energy just a bit. “well, i’m glad i called then.” the two of you catch up on the days you haven’t seen each other, conversation flowing smoothly between each stop he makes. one particular stop piques your interest.

he pulls up to the curb and reaches behind your seat as usual to grab his bag. he exits the car, leaving the music playing. there’s a woman waiting for him outside, and though you can’t hear their conversation, you can’t tear your eyes from them.

the woman is more than comfortable, leaning in to him as she giggles at something he said. as you watch them, you feel a tingle in your heart that feels all too familiar to the one you felt all those years ago. this has been a common occurrence when you’ve accompanied him on his deliveries.

you’ve found that he’s charming as always, even more so than he was as a slightly awkward teen. you stopped by this customer’s place just last week, but you wouldn’t be surprised if some of them purposely ordered frequently in order to see him. yet the selfish feeling of pride that you’re the one sitting in his passenger seat sits in your chest. you know yourself well enough to understand what that means.

renjun’s teasing about mark resurfaces in your brain, and part of you knew this would be the result if you let your old friend back in. you know things are going to be okay for your friendship, but your feelings are plain and clear.

despite the years apart and active repression of any feelings towards him, good or bad, you still love mark. you don’t know if you ever stopped.

the rekindling of this friendship has done nothing for you but tether your heart to him once more, but you can’t bring yourself to create any distance. mark slides back into the driver’s seat.

“what’s on your mind?” he asks, and you snap out of your thoughts.

“huh?”

“you’ve got your little thinking face on,” he laughs, starting up the car.

“i didn’t realize that i had one of those.”

“the way your brows furrow a bit, and your eyes get a bit distant. i can always tell.” there’s a funny feeling in your stomach at the thought of him looking at you enough to know that. “so are you gonna tell me? orr..”

“just thinking about some good gelato,” you lie quickly, but he looks unconvinced. he decides to just go along with it and you’re grateful.

“gelato, huh.. the frozen kind or the smoking kind?” he asks, tilted smirk painting his face.

“and if i said both, then what?” you grin, and he’s full on cheesing as he comes to a red light.

“then i’d get you both,” he replies warmly. butterflies erupt in your stomach—he’s just too good to you.

“my place?”

“bet.”

it’s a little past 2am when you lead mark into your apartment. as much as you’ve been seeing him, he’s still never been to your apartment, and it’s an interesting experience to see him there. you had long dismissed the possibility of him being in your life, let alone your living space.

you still have a good amount of the weed, so you insisted on just using up what you have though mark promised to replenish your stash as soon as it was out. the tub of gelato he bought isn’t even halfway done and in need of a second spoon, and you think that maybe he did that on purpose.

mark takes out his rolling papers, and you hand him your grinder. you watch as he grinds up the leaves, placing the filter and leaves onto the paper as he expertly tightens the concoction into a perfect little joint.

“you are too good at that,” you compliment, in awe of how efficient he is. the joints are always rolled when they get to you nowadays, and you’re also trying not to stare too hard at his hands, watching the way they move so adeptly.

“oh you know, it comes with the job. thanks,” he replies bashfully, finishing up the end with a twist. “want to start it off?” he offers, and you nod as he hands it to you.

“lighter?” you ask, not knowing where your own is.

“oh yeah,” he pulls one out of his pocket. “let me.”

you bring the joint to your lips, and he flicks on the lighter, watching you with those gleaming eyes of his as you suck in slightly. you can feel his eyes on you, and you try not to make eye contact, but you can’t help it as your eyes flit up to meet his.

something stirs in your chest as you meet his gaze, but he quickly breaks the eye contact, dropping his hand to place the lighter down. your eyes move down to your hands, and you rotate the joint a bit, making sure it’s burning evenly. mark watches your movements with his own awe.

you pass it back to him, it’s your turn to have your eyes trained on him as he takes a drag out of it, holding it in before blowing the smoke upwards, neck strained. in contrast to your usual hangouts full of endless conversation, the two of you smoke in comfortable silence.

maybe it’s the time of the night, or the fatigue of the week, but you don’t mind. but like earlier, his eyes meet yours often, flitting back away, and you can still feel his eyes on you even when you aren’t looking at him.

“dude, you’re really good at that, you know,” he finally speaks up. his tone of voice is so genuine, you can’t help but laugh.

your memory of the first time you smoked together resurfaces; he had praised you just like that. remembering that time of life doesn’t sting like it used to. you find that after many years of only recalling the bad, the good parts of that introduction to weed are now able to shine.

“oh you know, i’ve had a lot of practice,” you muse, finishing off the joint as it reaches its end.

“you’ve always been good at it..” he trails off, eyes looking a bit distant. he’s probably reminiscing about that same memory.

you’re both a good amount of high, and as you look at him, you see how he’s grown, mentally and physically, yet his sweetness has always remained. like always, the weed brings your honest thoughts to the forefront of your conscious. you want him so badly, maybe even more than your younger self did.

as your brain jumps along the timeline of your memories with him, it stops at one point—the kiss. your eyes remain locked on each other, and you’re almost certain that he’s remembering the same thing. everything moves in slow motion, and his face gets closer and closer. you can feel the warmth of his breath, of his body inching closer to yours.

but you know better now, even if you want him.

placing your hands on his chest, you push him back lightly, turning your head to the side.

“we aren’t doing this, mark,” you assert as firmly as you can, but your voice wavers. a look of hurt flashes over his face, but he’s resolute as he moves his hands over yours, bringing them into his grasp.

“…are you uncomfortable? can you tell me what you’re thinking about?” you look at him in shock at his composure, and you try to regain yours, but you can’t help the stinging in your eyes as you are filled with fear at the thought of losing all of this, of losing him.

“you can’t just do this and leave me all over again, not when I finally have you back.” the tears start to pool in your eyes, and you pull your hands from him, trying to calm yourself. you feel the younger and current versions of yourself at odds with each other, and the feeling is all too overwhelming as a few tears start to slip out.

“hey, look at me.” mark takes your face into his hands.

“hey.” his eyes are unwavering. “i’m not leaving you.”

the warmth of his lips meets yours as he draws you into a sweet kiss, one hand moving to the back of your head. as you separate, he pulls you into a hug.

“i love you.”

his voice is barely above a whisper, but you hear it clearly, pulling away from him with wide eyes at his confession.

“what?” you can’t believe your ears. it can’t be real, this has to be a dream. you shake your head, denying him. “mark, you’re high.” he shakes his head, too.

“i know i’m high and you’re high, but i’ll tell you again and again now and when we’re sober. i love you so much.” his confession opens the floodgates, and tears stream down your face.

“when we first talked, i didn’t tell you everything,” he starts. “every time i look back at that time back in your dorm, i think about how stupid i was.” your eyes are trained on him through your tears, unable to get any words out.

“you told me you loved me, and i was high out of my mind when i said it back, i wasn’t thinking straight. but i meant it beyond being friends and i wasn’t sure if you did also. i tried to play it off, but after all that, i couldn’t,” he confesses, face heating up.

“i meant to talk to you after, i swear. i meant to tell you this in the car that one time, too. but i really was a coward—i think i still am, but i can’t let this go on anymore without telling you everything. i thought i could just be satisfied having your friendship back, but i don’t think i can.” he brings a gentle hand up to your face to wipe your tears.

“i know i’m a little high, but somehow my mind is clearer than ever, __. i love yo-”

he doesn’t get to finish his sentence as you throw your arms around him, pressing your lips to his. his hands find your waist, returning your kiss with more fervor, both hearts racing at the reciprocation. you angle your head to meld your lips further with his, kissing him until both of you are breathless.

when you pull away, there’s not even a hint of devastation written on his face—instead his lips are stretched wide in a goofy grin, eyes gazing at you with pure warmth.

“you fucking idiot.” he winces at your harsh words, but his smile does not falter at all. “i love you, too.”

he pulls you back into a kiss, and it feels just as it did all those years ago. this time, you know he’s staying.

the remnants of your smoke session still flow through your systems, and now that your feelings are clear, you can’t hide your desire for him any longer. you want more, all of him. he guides your hips as you move to straddle him, taking turns nibbling and prodding at the other, deepening the kiss further.

he seems to share the same idea, but as you sit in his lap, feeling him harden in his pants, he pulls away for a second. “are you sure you wanna do this?” he asks, expression serious with a touch of concern. “am i moving too fast?” you appreciate the check in, but you can’t wait any longer.

“no, mark, i’m so sure. i want you so fucking bad.” you move over his hardening bulge to emphasize your words, and he groans, throwing his head back on your couch. “i’ve wanted you for so long,” you breath out over his exposed neck, laying kisses down as he swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing under your lips. he lets out a low groan, pushing your hips down over his own as he lifts himself to meet you.

he tugs at your shirt, lifting it up over your head, and then proceeds to take off his own. “fuck.. you’re too beautiful..” he rasps, continuing to grind himself into you, peppering kisses down your neck, nibbling and sucking his way down. you moan at the sensation, your hips pressing together, and he separates from your collarbone with a loud pop.

he looks at focuses on you with slightly hooded lids, moving his hands down to your ass to slow your hips down with a strong grip. “can we take this to the bed?” he asks, voice slightly shaky. “i don’t wanna cum in my pants, baby.”

you laugh in response to this, grinding down a bit more just to tease him. “let me ride you, gelato boy.” his eyebrows raise at the nickname and then scrunch at the stimulation, but he laughs too, using his grip to push you up from himself and down on your back on the couch.

he hovers over you, drawing close so that you can feel each other’s breath. “don’t tease me.”

an aching feeling erupts in your lower regions. he stands up, pulling you to your feet as he nudges you to lead him to your room. you hold his hand walking to your room, and he does his best to walk with his raging hard member confined in his pants.

“it’s probably not the right time to say this, but i almost came in my fucking pants when we made out in your dorm.” you let out a full bellied laugh at this, cracking up as you open the door to your room and lead him in.

mark smiles seeing you happy, even at the expense of his pride. you’d probably tease him a bit more if not for how turned on you are, but you need him severely. as soon as you’re both inside your bedroom, he has you in his arms, kissing you fiercely as you both tug your bottoms off in between kisses.

you tumble back into the bed, mark securing a strong hand on the back of your head to make sure you land safely, lips attaching to yours once again. you can feel his warmth emanating from his skin on yours, and it all just feels so right.

he brings one hand down to your core, gingerly separating your folds in contrast to the fervor in his lips. he runs two fingers down your slit, gathering your wetness on his digits. you whimper into his mouth, and he separates from your lips, wanting to hear your unmuffled noises.

he circles your clit slowly, kissing your neck as your moans resound like music to his ears. he experimentally shifts a finger down, prodding at your hole before entering slowly. your breath hitches, and he stills, watching your face for any signs of discomfort.

he continues to slip his digit in, thrusting in and out shallowly until he’s knuckle deep. he pulls his hand out, pressing his middle and ring fingers against your hole, slipping them past the entrance as you cry out.

“oh, f-fuck, mark!” you grasp at his shoulders, and his name in your shaky voice encourages him to venture further.

“gotta stretch you out for me, love. so fucking tight.” he scissors his fingers inside you slightly, and your breath stutters again at the stretch.

“’s been a while s-since i’ve done this, okay?” you hide your face with one hand in embarrassment, but mark isn’t having it. his hand separates from your core as he grabs your hand from your face, lips returning to yours like magnets before reattaching his fingers to your core, snaking their way into you before starting to thrust in and out.

his hot breath fans your lips as he moves up, growling lowly. it’s as if a switch in him flipped. “don’t even wanna think of you doing this with anyone else.” his fingers speed up, and he eats up your moans hungrily, messy tongues intertwining. all sorts of emotions whirl in his head, but he’s sure of one thing.

“should’ve. been. me.” he growls into your lips, punctuating his words with the thrusts of his fingers. “fuck, i can’t believe i let you go,” he mutters, jaw clenched at even the thought of someone else in his place.

the funny feeling in your gut earlier was no coincidence, your arousal is overflowing seeing this new side to mark. the intensity, the control—it all reminds you that the mark in front of you truly is a man, and this new side to him is one only you get to see.

“f-fuck, mark, fuck! only you, only you,” you chant, feeling your head lighten from the pleasure.

“yeah? only me?” he questions smugly. he slips his thumb over your clit, rubbing harsh circles in time with the thrusts of his fingers. “let me feel you cum around my fingers, baby.”

your back strains, cursing a mixture of praises and mark’s name, feeling that pool of fire in your abdomen getting hotter and hotter. with one last swipe at your aching clit, he has you tumbling over the edge, cumming over his hands with a loud cry.

he watches you in awe as you catch your breath, relishing the way your walls pulse around his digits as you come down. he gently removes his fingers from you, lapping up your juices from his hand, eyes not faltering from yours. “so fucking good for me.” already you’re aching for more, and so is he.

he’s flooded with the need to feel your walls completely wrapped around him, spreading your legs more as he slots himself between them. he lets his dick rest on your core, rubbing up and down slightly, coating his member in your juices as you whine in overstimulation.

he still keeps an eye on your expression, making sure you’re still okay. “all good?” he asks. he’s huge, and his throbbing heat sits heavy on you. you shudder in excitement at the thought of just how full you’ll feel.

“mark, please,” you plead quietly, wanting nothing more than for him to fill you up completely.

he has a smirk on his face as he continues his slow movements—just a little revenge for your teasing earlier. “please what?”

you thrust your hips up, gliding over his member in a way that almost has him eating his words. he holds your hips down with a firm grip. “what did i say? don’t tease.”

you look up at him with pleading eyes, unable to take it any longer. “mark, please put it in. please, please, please.”

he almost presses a bit more, but he’s about to explode, self control on its very last thread at your begging. he lines up his dick to your entrance, letting the head catch before thrusting in ever so lightly. just the tip has you seeing stars, fisting at the sheets as you adjust to the stretch.

he inches in bit by bit, eyes addicted to the way your face contorts with every shallow thrust. the stretch burns a bit, but he rubs at your sore clit, letting the pain melt into pleasure. he has to still a bit when he finally bottoms out, gaze now locked on how he’s buried in you. he lets you adjust to him, circling his hips to get acquainted with your walls.

your moans resonate through the room, and he has to bite his lip as he huffs, trying to keep himself under control. but you don’t want him to.

“please start moving mark, i need you so bad,” you plead, hands reaching out to grab his shoulders. he moves down, hovering over you, sucking dark marks into your neck as your pleas ring like music to his ears. his hips start to pick up the pace through your pulsing, rolling into you as you lift your hips in time with his.

“i’ve got you,” he grits through clenched teeth, setting a rhythm as your nails dig into his shoulders. he lifts himself up, letting your hands fall to your sides. he laces his fingers through yours, pressing you into the sheets, thrusts getting heavier and harsher.

“f-fuck,” he huffs. “i’m not gonna last long.” you don’t think you are either, not with the way his hips pound into your clit, tip reaching deep into your core. you’re both drowning in the pleasure, your eyes squeezed shut as you tear up from the sensations.

“look at me, __,” he calls, and you open your eyes slowly. he’s breathing hard, glistening sheen painting his body, hair mussed and pointing everywhere. you can’t believe he’s finally all yours, feeling yourself ripple at the thought, chest tightening with pure joy.

mark can feel it, too, groaning as he observes you, warmth surrounding him as proof to him that you’re all his. too. “you really are so beautiful,” he sighs, picking up the pace as he feels his high coming. “i love you.”

“i love you, i love you, i-i love you so much,” you babble, feeling the coil in you tighten and tighten, his movements hitting everywhere just right, his body over yours feeling just right—everything is perfect, he’s perfect.

you’re moaning his name and he’s moaning yours, both of your minds unable to hold thoughts of anything but each other.

with one last strangled moan, you come undone, and he pushes through to carry you through your orgasm, hissing at the way your walls spasm around him. he pulls out at the very last second, jerking himself furiously with his own pained groan as he paints your thighs with his cum.

his eyes hone in on the way his juices look all over you, moving up your body until he’s at your face, eyes softening as he snaps out of his post-orgasm haze.

his body descends onto yours slowly, limbs limp as the two of you catch your breaths. his forehead presses into yours as you calm down. the tenderness of it all almost brings you to tears, this time of joy instead of all those nights of sorrow. little do you know he’s also biting back his own. you just bring that side out of each other.

there’s no words being spoken, just you and mark basking in each other’s presence. you’re exhausted, and he is too, the hours now touching dawn. “one more thing,” he sighs out, toppling to your side and gathering you back into his arms. you hum in response, eyes closed as you scoot forward to rest your head on his chest.

“i was pretty much thinking of quitting being a plug before i saw you at your work.”

your eyes shoot open, darting up to meet his. “really? why??” you ask in shock.

“i don’t know, i was just having second thoughts about picking it up as a job.” his eyes move down to your lips, and he can’t help but lean down and lay some sweet pecks on your lips. you push him away with a giggle, urging him to continue.

“that day i met you again, i really short circuited. it probably seemed so stupid asking you if you smoke out of nowhere, but it really was the only thing my mind could come up with to try and connect with you,” he admits sheepishly. “but i’m glad i did.”

you’re touched, grateful that he made the first move even if it was a bit awkward at first. “i’m glad too, but you could’ve just talked to me, you know.”

“well, i tried, and youuu were the one to shut me down. though i understand why.” he lifts a hand to brush your cheek. you do feel just a bit bad about your treatment of him. but just a bit.

“i’ll admit i was a little harsh.” his hand travels back down around you to tug you even closer.

“no, you were just being careful.“ your eyes close, and you lift an arm around him to caress his back. he feels a bit tense. “i know you’re probably sick of the apologies, but i really do hope you can forgive me,” he continues, tucking you under his chin.

“markie, i forgave you a long time ago,” you assure. “but you can make up for it from now on.”

he’s silent for a bit, but his body relaxes completely at your assurance and the affectionate nickname he had gone so long without. you can feel his chin shift; he’s smiling contently. “you’re right.. i can offer free weed?”

“that’s a given,” you reply sleepily, already starting to doze off. “lifetime supply of gelato, please.”

he laughs, yawning and closing his eyes as well. “anything for you.”

note: if you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! like i said in the preview, it's been really hard to write lately, especially after the wrong people found my page, but i still enjoy it and hope you will enjoy this as well. it's not as smut heavy and more focused on the angst, but trust one of these days i'll be back w those high horny thoughts :'0 had a different vision of my plug!mark at first, but ultimately just stayed true to my soft stoner agenda hehe

thank you to everyone who interacted w the preview and also huge huge shout out to my bae @wispyxjae for beta reading thank u ilysm :') <3

feedback and shares are always appreciated!

-coco (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

[a-tiny-thing]

hi all,

please encourage sm and nct to put an end to this st*rbucks collaboration on platforms the members and sm monitor like lysn bubble and weverse. here is a link with pictures and a message template to use: link

taeyong posted on his ig story (now deleted) prompting fans to boycott, so spreading the word is working. if you have not already, please join in!

though the brand may not be on the bds list, shareholders have ties to isr*el:

edit: renjun also spoke up on his story (also now deleted), i urge you all to start/continue speaking up against the collaboration and atrocities happening!