#I so wish HE could get better
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ah, 2025
what a fuckin year.
#I knew this would be hard but I didn’t realise it would be like this#why can’t I just fucking do what I need to do without pussying out#I’m such a fucking coward#how could I have been so foolish to let it get to this#and I’m STILL letting it happen#I so wish it could get better#I so wish HE could get better#but it never will work that way#fuck this shit#I’m so tired#I don’t want to have to leave him#I miss him but he’s asleep next to me while I figure shit out#what the fuck do I do#addiction is a fucking curse but only he can fix it
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#selfie bee#good evening friends!! how are you doing! C:#I'm very very sleepy I got a new ikea office chair and I build it all myself#I think it went okay! I don't think I pulled the back screw tight enough and now the back is a bit loose#I can probably fix it but I can also ignore it for the next 18 years#thats how long the old chair held up!! in germany it could now drink vodka and drive a car!!#not at the same time that is illegal! not at the same time!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*#but the day is not over yet my uncle asked me for a big art quest and I do not want to disappoint#he wants a muppet tattoo and asked me to draw it#my uncle has started to get tattoos a few months ago#as far as I know he has now gotten 3 note clefs 3 stars a flower and multiple birds#he also started getting piercings but so far I managed not to know exactly where#I think tattoos are super cool (´。・v・。`) I wish I had a good idea for a tattoo but the last time I was very sure about getting a tattoo#it was heath ledgers face as the joker#at that point I was 12 and would not see the actual movie for two more years#a muppet tattoo is a way better idea!! he asked for the count van count! that is also one of my top 3 muppets ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡#I always thought I knew a lot about muppet lore but since I started looking up muppet pictures I think there are still a lot of secrets#can the muppets from the Sesame Street actually leave the Sesame Street?#I think Kermit is both on the Muppet Show and on Sesame Street but he is also like the boss muppet#he might have special abilities#I hope you're having a good day friends!! C:#I think I'll post a Sherlock comic later this week#miss you!! ♥♥♥
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Belphie is such an interesting kitten, compared to the other two.
baby Grim presented some challenges, because she loved to destroy property (mostly climbing various shelves and mantles and knocking everything she could to the floor), she was mildly aggressive toward Marmaduke the family cat (she felt that at the ripe age of 4 months, she deserved to be king), and she was fairly aloof for a kitten, more into running about than cuddling. in most ways, she was like a tiny mafia boss.
Pangur I instantly soul-bonded with, because she was so sickly and pathetic. and neurotic, too - everything was scary to her, people, places and animals. she’d explore the house and play, but there was always an ‘expecting an eagle to swoop down and grab her’ energy.
now Belphie! he’s a healthy active boy with zero fear, and zero aggression, but (fortunately or unfortunately) someone cranked his Play button to maximum and then broke off the handle. he is either fast asleep, and the cutest kitten on earth, or racing about and flailing and climbing and pouncing. which means that he can’t be let outside the kitten room unsupervised yet, because his baby willpower is only so strong, and he will eventually break and start jumping on Pangur and Grim. so in a way, he’s the healthiest happiest cat I’ve ever had, but he’s also the most complicated, because he still has to spend most of his time jailed in the kitten room.
#I think he’ll be better with time#I already trained him out of jumping on my legs and back and making me bleed#and 6/10 times you can see he’s visibly restraining himself from fucking with the other cats#that used to be 1/10 times so we’re making progress!#but I wish he could be out free all the time 💀#usually when he’s jailed I’ll be in the kitten room with him doing work#but then I get pangur crying at the door bc she is a 12 year old infant
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Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:
Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release
You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')
#This took so long to make lol#cause I had to edit every scene with Hobie from both versions so I could watch them right after one another to compare them#I did this with ALL the scenes he's in also the ones where he's on screen as spider-punk#but they only changed his filters in these scenes so it was a waste of time :')#sidenote: no it wasn't it's never a waste of time to look at hobie I just couldn't use it for my GIFset lol#I also made a bouns one but I'm not allowed to post more than 30 GIFs in one post apparently so I guess I just won't add it then...#but Hobie was basically filterless during all these scenes in the theatrical version#I like that they gave him more different filters in the digital version#the only change I don't like is in the first GIFs#cause like that one post pointed out it looks like they removed his lipstick for some reason#also really wish I had a better video editor so we could get a closer look at Hobie but I did my best with what I had#also slowed some of them down to get a better look at them#been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it!#which means I can go back to working on my fics now#hopefully lol#also lemme know if there are some other scens you guys want me to make comparisons of#cause I have both versions#the theatrical release isn't the highest quality though so if you know where I can get my hands on a better version lemme know ;)#hobie brown#spider punk#miles morales#spider man#peter b parker#jess drew#miguel o'hara#spider man across the spider verse#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#theatrical version
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Leaf-bare again and we're already off to a bad start :')
#clangen#clan generator#warrior cats#warriors oc#sporeclan#my poor girl finchpaw cant catch a break ever she keeps getting ill </3#btw with petunia. the reason it says he got better was because literally in the game his infection WAS cured#and then the literal message after that was that his wound got infected AGAIN. sigh#sc:fennel#sc:fennelacorn#sc:finchpaw#sc:fadedtuft#sc:petunia#sc:cliffthicket#sc:dawnpelt#sc:mousegrove#sc:spottedfrost#sc:puddle#sc:crowstar#yall im so sorry ive been so slow with the updates i wish i could say im busy but really ive just been gaming this whole time#ive blazed through like 2 and a half f!re embIem games in like a month and a half. plus i read all of dunme5hi#plus i did take a lil break to draw other stuff than cats for a bit just so i didnt burn out#ive been looking forward to the next moon for a while so hopefully it'll be up fairly soon#sc moons#tw blood#tw injury#tw illness
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HUSK, Hotel Bartender & Concierge | 1x04 - Masquerade
"Oh, I FORGOT — you're the wise-old bartender who's seen it all! Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink."
#hazbin hotel#husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel edit#masquerade#my gifs#character spotlight#Certified Redemption ☑︎#hello hi i'm in love with the kitty man like actually#he NEEDS more screentime in s2 in fact he needs his own episode#PLS PLS she confirmed that we're gonna get to know some (but not all) of the character's backstories in s2 PLEASE LET HUSK BE ONE OF THEM#I'LL ACTUALLY DIE THANK YOU#alright i'm coming back to these tags to point stuff out#first off - the fact that he closes his eyes and shakes his head and reaches up to hold his suspenders before offering actual help#physically hyping himself up to lend a hand even though his whole thing is having an empty shell of a heart - apparently.#AAAAAA#but ALSO#holding his suspenders - self soothing gesture possibly? he knows lending a hand could give way to vulnerability on his end regardless if h#even shares personal information about himself or not - at the BARE MINIMUM he is saying ''look. i care a little. okay?'' by even OFFERING#help to begin with. AND OTHER THING!!!!!!!#the fact that he himself bitched and moaned earlier that episode about how EVERYONNEEE likes to bitch to the bartender#and he talks about how he knows everything about everyone seemingly against his better wishes#it's all part of the job he's forced to do#so you could also look at him shaking his head as a way for him to literally ''shake off'' that attitude because again. HE CARES.#even if it's just a little.#then GODDDDD his reaction to angel breaking down. the way he softens. his ears go down. he looks to the ground.#his ''old crusty heart'' was actually touched - not in the happy way of course. it was pain. struck with sympathy and remorse.#LISTEN I LOVE THIS GOD DAMN CAT OKAY
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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What a precious boy.
I could cry for him.
#lita koi#love in the air japan#love in the air koi no yokan#lita japan#bl drama#bl series#asianlgbtqdramas#asian lgbtq dramas#japanese bl#jbl#he deserves so much better than he gets#seriously so much better#i love him so much#and i wish i could do better for him#at least better than thailand did him#maybe japan will do him better#not counting on it
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can we all collectively agree that this video sucks so much ass
#(mostly taken from my insta stories):#just rewatched this video after a couple of years and yeeeeeah...#most of this guys points fall completely flat now that ive watched the entirety of woy#brother really did not just say that sylvia made the show worse at times and that it wouldnt affect the story much if she wasnt there 😭😭#like. its so blatantly obvious he didnt watch all of the episodes#also dont even get me STARTED on how he missed the entire point of the box and as a result claimed it was the worst episode#man. i could go on and on abt how terrible this video is but otherwise we would be here forever so i'm curious to hear other ppls thoughts#also also!!! fyi do NOT go and harass this guy just because he made a dogshit video 5 years ago#at the end of the day he just wanted to make a video abt woy n i can respect that immensely because its a great show#..i just wish it was a better video 😭#wander over yonder#woy#savewoy#not art
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Minor spoilers for the already revealed chapters of the next A Starless Clan book Wind
#a starless clan#a starless clan spoilers#wind spoilers#asc spoilers#warrior cats spoilers#warriors#warrior cats#tigerheart#tigerheartstar#tigerstar 2#tigerstar#Squirrelflight#squirrelstar#frostpaw#Nightheart#I’ve been wanting to draw this ever since the chapters were revealed and what better time than like two days til the book comes out#i actually think tigerheartstar is an interesting character in this arc he genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing and he does honestly#want to help. he just does it by trying to crack dad jokes to lighten the mood while trying to run a group that doesn’t want him there#i also think it’s funny that he’s consistently just chill with taking in cats thrown out of their clans. ESPECIALLY from RiverClan#don’t get me wrong he’s super weird in omen of the stars and avos and I think in his super edition (I haven’t read it in a while)#but he’s also a good dad. he’s such a perplexing character I can’t help but find him interesting. at least he DOES stuff yknow#I’ll eat my words if he does turn out to be completely evil or something. but I’ll hate if he does his behavior really isn’t like Tigerstar#-the first. this guy isn’t out here trying to seize power#but ENOUGH ABOUT HIM!! Nightheart asking squirrelstar if frostpaw could come to thunderclan with him was so sweet#i wish she’d accepted I don’t want them to split up I’m worried the writers will forget the entire last book and they won’t be close again#comic#meme#illustration
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sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful
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#;M;#oauhh#that's so sweet I'm in shambles and so glad to hear all of that#sometimes I worry about whether I'm communicating their chemistry correctly#it would be so easy for this sort of relationship to gain suffocating and possessive and overall just abusive tones#and even though you could argue it would be a source for juicy drama I just don't want that#Machete could selfishly exploit Vasco's care and altruism without giving anything in return#or worse let his paranoia and jealousy get the better of him and end up destroying them both because if he can't have Vasco no one can#and Vasco could leverage his influence over Machete to manipulate and use him because out of them two he's the more mentally stable one#and it would be easy to take advantage of Machete's vulnerability obedience and his trust that Vasco would never harm him#but I don't know maybe it's a bit tropey and idealistic but I really just want these dogs to be genuinely good for each other#they have so many things working against them already I don't wish to see them backstab each other as well#they have a bit of a 'us against the world' thing going on which I really like#they're not perfect there's issues they're trying to work on but the will to get through it together is there#and I want to make it seem like they wouldn't hesitate to prioritize the other one's happiness and wellbeing at their own expense#if it came to that#anwered#anonymous
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I feel like I've seen most of what interests me in FiMFiction for the time being, so I read through some good ol' reliable Stardew Valley fanfics last night, only to realize.
Haley x Female Farmer is basically Rarijack. Rarijack adjacent.
#personal#delete later#not art#unfortunate that i'm really not into the BIG popular ships in stardew#like. i downloaded talkohlooey's character sprites for my sdv because the men just look so much better#with talkohlooey sebastian actually looks like a cute guy i'd wanna date. default seb looks like a very very specific white boy.#like. the mod of an anime community discord server.#he looks like every white anime fan i knew in high school who very intentionally tried to look and dress more asian#so unfortunately i'm not really into any of the male bachelors. They are All White.#I went after Alex at first but he's a white bread jock.#So I'm really not interested in ships with Shane or Elliot or Sebastian which make up 2/3 of the romance fics#I do think Harvey is cute he has a lot of personality and he's a sweetheart#stardew expanded has victor AND olivia which is such a fucking win. Asians fuck yeah#I usually pursue Penny. Fluttershy vibes lmao#hopefully chocolatier has some dateable men who Aren't White.#Really can't recommend Talkohlooey's sprites more. Fantastic art style AND character design direction to boot. They made Emily Not#Terrifying Looking which is incredible.#still wish you could date the milfs though who said that#i said it. i'm fessing up. why did concernedape put all these women in unfulfilling marriages with mediocre/crappy men#what are you getting at.
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Maybe I'll make a post on this at some point but like, something deeply fucked up about TNP and Po3 that people have totally forgotten about is how badly they try to whine that "Tigerstar Had Good Traits :("
Firestar does it, Brambleclaw does it, and they keep doing this after it becomes this GRAND irony that Firestar almost gets Tiger'd to death in a fox trap because he was too trusting. Bramble gets his pity award of keeping deputyship and then cries to his son about how No One Saw The Good In Tigerstar :(
And it's wiiiiild that no one else in this fandom has done anything with the fact that Leopardstar broke the Warrior Code to appoint Hawkfrost, who had no apprentice, an extremely aggressive and warmongering Tigerclone who says things like "Tigerstar wasn't the worst cat to look up to." ONLY qualifying trait was being kinda like Tigerstar.
And she practically did that the SECOND Mistyfoot went missing. And then Leopardstar continued to be one of the most violent and xenophobic leaders through Po3, joining with WindClan to attack ThunderClan.
What I'm getting at is that like, a few years ago, with books like "Blackfoot's Reckoning" and "Shadow in RiverClan" it's like they suddenly decided to retcon in a bunch of "redemption arcs" in hindsight. They just pretended like there was this grand high reckoning with TigerClan, when there literally wasn't, and if anything that caused SERIOUS problems for the cast that the authors didn't fully acknowledge as such.
And now ppl haven't actually read the main series and are just working with their recent memory of all these retcon books.
But TNP and PO3 are still there, and you can go and see the ACTUAL timeline where Leopardstar is really not apologetic at all, and Blackstar is a useful stooge for the very next wannabe dictator that strolls in, in spite of the new side content that COMPLETELY mischaracterized them for their plots to work.
#I just wish people could be more critical of this#And im not entirely anti-retcon. Mind you#But I am here because i think these retcons make them WORSE characters. It's BAD for a character to GET a book with a redemption arc and--#Then they don't change at all and act like totally different people later in the timeline#And Leopardstar is the worse one between her and Blackstar BECAUSE she has sooo many active choices here#Im confident in my choice for BB the more I think about it. Leopardstar's dismantling of the bonehill was good#But it works better as a tragedy imo with the rest of the series in mind#That for a brief moment. A fleeting whim. She could have changed.#But she never did.#And Blackstar who was FAR less repentant at the time DID eventually turn around.#At the end of the day one of them appointed Hawkfrost as codebreaking deputy.#And the other did not.#And I think it's fucking bullshit the way that Leopardstar's retcondemption implies that Hawkfrost was just so tricky he mislead her#The old and experienced leader who had been fooled by a tiger before and was soso sorry for it. Just got tricked.#Like fuck off. She never had a redemption. Stop trying to tell me she did 15 years later#She's a girlboss who empires too close to the sun in pursuit of power and drags everyone down with her#Not a sad weepy smolbean#Bone babble#Warrior cats analysis
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god almighty (non-religious), i wish i wasn't low empathy. it sucks so much when a friend is not okay but you can't find the right script for how to handle that right now and you can't make yourself care as much as you feel you should. maybe if i was less tired and generally depressed myself, or if there was an active problem that could be solved, then i could actually figure out what to say. i can listen to venting fine, but i'm not about to promp it or anything because i don't really know if it's prying or prompting sometimes.
like, darling, i don't mean to just not answer you but you're clearly in a bad mood and not lending yourself to a normal conversation structure because of it, and i don't know what to say so i'm not saying a damn thing. sorry you aren't doing well, i wish you were and stuff, but i also don't naturally have the pieces that make me able to respond to that shit so i've elected to simply not.
#npd#actually npd#autism#actually autistic#low empathy#hes done a shitty job at responding to me objectively not doing well too#so im not sweating being a shitty friend#i wish i could do better but he should understand not knowing how to respond#otherwise hes a hypocrite#because hes watched me cry and have a panic attack at work and literally say “if i cant step away soon i will fucking walk out” thru tears#and his response was “lol alright” and not taking my spot or anything to get me a smoke break#when i was specifically telling him that i needed to step away for a minute#so his responses arent top notch or anything either#itd be cool if i had the energy to figure out a proper response#i want to be a good friend#id do anything for him if directly asked but im bad at guessing at how to help/care about people unfortunately#so theres that
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the plunge
#the joker#batman#i feel like i couldve executed the better but whatevs.#smashes bmy fist into conkreet .i wish i could do character dialouge well id b writing so much stuff 2 go with drawings it would b rlly nea#it would b cool#i like to obsess over characters ways of speaking but then i doubt myself on being able 2 replicate the cadence#feel like im clumsy w that#anyway it varies from comic to comic of cours ebut the jokers little quirks and habits of speech r rlly fun 2 read#as other characters of course but theres something specific abt him hes just. mhyeah LMAO anyway#get rid of the tags cant let my normal followers now i think the joker is neat/lh#my art#ittybittydraws
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his fuckass loafers im losing it
#snap chats#ill take like ninety personal screenshots once he's available in-game i just ripped this from a skin showcase vid#see i dont totally hate the beard anymore now that its been rendered and i can see it better. id still prefer clean but whatever#he kinda cute all regal an lookin like rudolf from fire emblem he makin me giggle a lil 🥰 ok ill stop idk what came over me#they didnt wanna put him in chanel boots they knew i woulda made a comment .....#anyways. I CANT BELIEVE I GET WANDA AND MAGS SKINS FOR MY BIRTHDAY LIFE IS SO GOOD#my brother is not being subtle in the slightest in saying he'll get me the battlepass despite my protests so. LOL 💀#the past three weeks he be like So What Do You Want For Your Birthday 👁️👄👁️#and then we find out the skins dropping my birthday and he be like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY 👁️👁️👄👁️👁️#LIKE GO AWAY STOP that so diabolical both of them are dropping this week tho .... i thought id have more time but no#marvels trying to kill me. beautiful woman and her cunty father thats so fucked up#i wish i could say this means i should play wanda more but the guilt id feel picking dps when 90% of the time we'd need a tank or support#just gotta bet he fastest hand in the west and have no guilt and pick dps ig ervkLEAJEAKL#anyways. im gonna go back to work FOCUS YOU FUCKER
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